The Insyder Feb '10 Digitial Issue

Page 1



CONTENTS Describe your perfect Valentine’s?

What’s Sizzling This Month

Star Dust Cover Story

Funkie-licious TV (FTV) Sniper

Totally Tero pg 30

High Skool Love Guide pg 36

Chronicles 254 Ever wonder pg 4

Sly

Kask

Spending the whole day with that special someone cuddled up in my arms...

Hmmm…

Pink Diary Ed’s Head

T-9 Playa Prezident

Love Mistakes Keeping You Single pg 39

Valentines Cheat Sheet pg 12 ON THE COVER: TERO

Dressed by: Mr Price

Thome

Gettin’ me lady tha perfect val’s gift...

Jimmie

I just hope it’ll be a lovely day.

The iMC’s Coolest February Moments Drama Fests Cultural entertainment...

Buru Open So gonna be there

Enviromental degradation So not co ol

Earthquake disaster in Haiti Very Sad

Freshers arrival Strictly NO bullying

Road to Chaguo La Teeniez! Keep voting for your fave celebz

l coo es Tr

What are you doing about it?

It feels like Valentine’s again! I’m accepting gifts...

Making The Cover

The Insyder Offices:

Make-up by ALEX VAKUMO, Vera Beauty College

Tamima

Hi! February equals to Valentine’s in the minds of most peepz, for the galz it’s a rose filled day and for dudez it’s probably one of the most torturous months of the year as they try to come up with the perfect gift. Not to worry though, The Playa prezident has provided the ultimate ‘Valentine’s Cheat Main Feature

Cover Sheet,’ if you’re looking for love, check out Story The Sniper’s ‘High M.O.G - The Best you Of in on the Skool Love Guide’ and if you’re a lonely sista Ed let’s Both Worlds ‘Love Mistakes that are keeping you single.’ On the cover is the bootylicious Tero and she’s one damsel who’s content to be single for the time being. Check out our cover story to discover the real Tero and why she’s waiting on love. One can’t talk about Feb without mentioning the freshers arrival; we welcome them with open arms and hope you’ll do the same as we kick off one of the year’s most funkielicious seasons in style... Enjoy! iMC

On the cover: Tero

Photography: Emmanuel Jambo

Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com


a l l o H a Yu with D.W.AT What’s poppin I-qru? Let me first start by saying your mag is just the bomb! My name is Gabu Jamal from Nkubu Bee. I am the founder of one of the biggest dance groups in Meru by the name D.W.A.T (Dancers with attitude). We’ve been gracing most of the major funkiez in Eastern provie and the reception has been explosive. During the holz, we do our thing at paying gigs and things are looking up for us. The thing is, being from an up-state school, I feel like we don’t get the attention we deserve. So, I was wondering if it’ll be possible for you to feature us in your New Skool column this year. Please holla! Gabu Jamal (D.W.A.T) Nkubu Boyz Hi Gabu, We always love it when teeniez are doing big things with their talents. Just holla at us when you’re dance group is performing somewhere and we’ll be glad to come check you out. Also send us your contacts and photos of your group. iMC

If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill...

Set The Youth For Great Heights

Hi, I’m a great fan and like others I love your magazine. You have thousands of youth looking up to you on FB and an unbelievably larger number of students all over the country as your fans, even adults. Your fan-list is by far The Insyder November comparable to an organization way Issue 09 larger than any political party in Kenya today. Question is, what are you doing with them? Feeding them the latest gossip on celebs only? My suggestion, keep being who/ what you are to keep the loyalty of your fans . . . but find a way of utilizing this control over Kenyan youth to build the Kenya we all want. Political parties no longer appeal to us but anything The Insyder says, we’ll always agree with because you understand us. Capture that audience and the country and its leaders will be surprised to see the youth set for great heights and they cannot say it’s their effort. So what do you say? You want suggestions?” Brenda A Nyawara

Hi Brenda, Thanks for your confidence in us and we’re looking at making a greater positive influence on teeniez this year. Umoja ni nguvu, please feel free to holla your suggestions at us. iMC

I Got Skillz….

Vipi, of Orero boyz. This is Larry Onyango from I’m really est. Your mag is just the dop skillz check got I w kno I into drawing and of what me tell and pics my out one of ider having a you think. I hope you’ll cons to draw. like column for teeniez who (Kops) ro Ore ) (304 Larry Onyango Hi Larry, s. Keep You sure have some mad skill we’ll and gs win dra e sending in thos feature them. iMC

Keri Hilson

slang’r Rugogo corne Origin: A kyuk-oriented word that hails from the interiors of Jeri (Jericho) that is used to mean town.

Meaning: Town

Holla @ Us! Got a point to make, opinion to share or simply wonna rant and rave? You’ve come to the right spot; Yua Holla is the platform that gives all readers of The Insyder the opportunity to share and express their thoughts on just about any topic under the sun. Hit us up on: yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002 Online: www.theinsyder.com

As used in a sentence

1. Maze si unipeleke rugogo nichukue ule dame pale Galitos. 2. Concert next ya Chaguo inafaa ikue rugogo


The Write Choice.

a l l o H a Yu with

Valz….What’s the fuss? Aje Insyder, Congrats for hitting the big one-O (10) last month. The Jan cover nailed it! Feb is here and we all know what’s happening, Valz. Lakini what’s the fuss? This is one hol that is way too commercialized. Chics expect us dudes to fork out all our hard-earned mullah budgeted for the whole term to spoil them on the 14th. Personally I believe it isn’t worth it. Love should be shown the whole year round and not just the 14th of Feb. Who’s with me? Cupid better go job hunting. Caleb Diablo (304) Saints Hi Caleb, LOL! You’ve got some pretty strong views that I don’t think most chics (if any) will agree with, just maybe cupid needs to mix up something a little bit extra special for you this year. iMC

Keep Em’ Coming!

Niaje Insyder, ing on top for a whole decade It’s great to see your mag stay disappear. Your columns are while other publications just keep em’ coming. This year super cool and I hope you will up-state skools more…you can pleeeez make an effort to visit Bee. start with ours St Ignatius Mux ) (404 fan) gest (Big ati Bill Bah Bill, Bill, Bill, gets better with age. We’ll Like fine wine The Insyder only and list. Also please send us pics definitely make it tops on our stories from your skool. iMC

More Teen Features

Aje Insyder, doing entertaining us teeniez. Kudos for the good job you’re e chest…kwani mnatulenga thes I just had to get this off my like mns colu to ed what happen days? The mag is on point but and C.S.I? Those columns ed Bust o, wan ong New Skool, Mch life. Also give us more teen really spotlighted high school y. which was appreciated by man covers like the November one ld shou you k thin I supporters and We teeniez are your biggest …just saying. mag r you in t mos feature us the ) Highie Marvin ‘Kapella’ Sultani (404 Hi, Keep it locked right here for You’re wish is our command. more teentainment. iMC

Poets Platform

I am the voice I am the voice!

The voice loud enough for you to hear, Irritating enough to make you listen, And equally muffled to strain your ears. I am the voice which leads the song, The voice dictating the words and moves, That which makes you want more, Yet you’ve had enough, The voice that speaks wacko and waffle, And in your stupid naivity, you listen. I am the voice that rides in the chopper that flies above your humble leaking roof, You know the chopper that makes you leave your soup boiling wildly on the fire And your infant son in the bathing ‘karai’, When it lands in your local stadium…12km away. I am the voice that throws the ‘come and see’ homecoming orgies, Where you, the regular voice, comes to for once, Taste French beans and ‘pishori’ rice, which you grow in your shambas. I am the voice that is your weakness. The one that politely hints the ideas, And you speak of war, tribe and malice The voice that makes you bring down what you toiled to bring up. I am the sweet melodious voice that will knock at your door after five seasons, In my hands will be a packet of maize ‘unga’, a dollar and two already paid cups of ‘busaa’ The fruits of your taxes backed up by my ever-growing stomach And you, the great voice of the time, will know what to do.

Karen Gichobi (304) St.Anne’s Lioki.


Your local Inteenet Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........Mchongwano Pg 12......T-9 Playa Prezident Pg 14......American Kenyan

EVER WONDER 6

18

9

14

4

12

21. Will Valentine

home coming this

Cake House break

year?

bank this month?

doesn’t Redsan gain

happened between

really singing about

weight like other

Tiger Woods, his wife,

an ‘Ego’ in that

be the year that Shish

flourishing artists?

the golf club and

song?

20. Will Awa and

and cronies clear and

11. Will Breezy ever

the fire hydrant?

Highie finally make-

finally say goodbye

date anyone hotter

After his infedility

Jayonce for ol’ Jay

scandal shouldn’t

this year?

up in 2010?

19.

16. Will 2010

to Tahidi High?

15.

than Rihanna?

10.

6.

3. Will she

finally pop out a little

2. And Will

Will Quabbz and

Shouldn’t Abbas’ New

Will South Africa’s

Tiger Woods change

Jay really pay her the

Starch finally make

Year resolution be

supposed home

his name to Cheetah

5 mili per kid?

their relationship

‘To make peace not

advantage raise their

Woods?

hopes of advancing

Diva, Jay & Alicia’s

Insyder Magazine is

in the World Cup?

Empire State of Mind

still reppin’ teeniez,

public?

18. How

does Angelina Jolie

war?’

14. How will

Weezy look without

5. Beyonce’s

1. A

decade later and The

honestly manage to

his dreadlocks?13.

9. Who’s hotter

& Rihanna’s Wait

shouldn’t other

carry all those kids?

Will musicians finally

Habida, Marya or

Your Turn video; is

publications finally

17.

be able to control

Avril?

black & white the new

wave a white flag or

musicians who had

“leakage” of music

‘Big Shot’ taking a

coloured?

4.

hold the lighters up

migrated to the U.S.A

from their new

shot at Linnet’s Size

big, it’s too wide, it’s

finally make a great

albums?

Will all prodigal

Feb

12. Why

8?

2 0 1 0

8. Is Madtraxx

7.What really 4

‘It’s too

too strong’ is Beyonce

for us?



Your local Inteenet

PiX & GAMES

Pics Of The Month 1

CELEBRITY FASHION Check out the celebs that our picharazzi busted and the looks that they were rocking...

1.

Jua Cali & Klepto were into

uniform fashion; with the King of Genge digging Jahmu’s blue wile

2

Klepto tried to relive their years at Patch.

2.

Tatuu (Debbie, Shinde &

Rabo), Brick & Lace have definitely caught the liquid latex skinny pants fashion fever.

MISSING LYRICS

Fill in the blanks for each song and name the artist/s.

Local Song ‘Na andika hii verse ka niko______________ ‘Na enda kupika bila_________________ Artist:_________________

Clue: Beat ya Clemo Clue: Brick & Lace performed at his album launch

Local Song ‘Namtizama ______________ ‘Namtamani sana_________________ Artist:_________________ International song What you need___________________ My ___________ it don’t decline_________ Artist:_________________

Clue: This guy had it rough with his beau last year

FAME BY NUMBERS

Solve the problems by doing the math to find out the number of times 50 Cent got shot.

> >

The original number of Necessary Noise

The number of former Calif Angels

2 0 1 0

6

=

Add question 1 and 2 with the one below

>

the number of members of Lyrical Assassins No. of times shot

Feb

=

=



Your local Inteenet

MCHONGWANO

From Mang’u With Love... The desert warriors re-awaken to give various skools an eye-opening dose of reality.

CHANGEZ

offer, we wanted to

you just prefer being

have to have female

had a momentary

ask if your barbershop

your natural primitive

attributes for that.

lapse of insanity, and

and uncivilized

One more thing, quit

that you’ve developed

in our school coz we

selves? Even if there

parking that trash-bin

enough sense and

really admire the cuts

is a high inflation on

you call a bus next to

courage to vibe babez

you chics spot.

commodities, your first

our pimped ride.

again.

could open a branch

priority should be to

We don’t know what

STATOE

you people see in us

Does looking

but for the record, we

grotesque serve as a

just want to put it out

buy soap, not paint to

BOMA

You’re natural guy

There’s only one

your

repellents! Not only

word to describe you:

caves

do you look like train

HUGE. Your skool’s greasy and fattening

decorate

qualification to enter

CHOXX

there. We are straight!

your school or do

with. We

wrecks, stink like

We love chics! This

fly chics go in and

have

skunks (though we can

diet makes you chics

thing about you jamaaz

Shrek-like creatures

sympathize with you

look like grade- A

just come out? It

on that coz of your

swines! No wonder

funkiez isn’t healthy.

seems like your

freezing water), you eat

the swine flu got to

Even lowlifes like

long, checked

like hyenas, have

Ma’hill and Kiriri don’t

maternity-like

vulture-like

now understand why

wear skirts

scavenger

you don’t shave your

advise you to ease up

make you

instincts

legs, coz if u did, you’d

on the affection. We

chics so

(because

look so tender and

thought you had a sista

depressed

of your

tasty that the cooks

coming to ALL our

do that. We humbly

school?

BUSH-G Semenya is an school and ex-miss

will mistake you for

let your

with

livestock. If you don’t

looks

collecting

start working on your

souve’s from

your an

figures, your skool may

research books: we

jamaaz, even though

soon mistaken for a

administration if we

don’t need firsthand

you’ve only vibed

ranch.

were you.

accounts on how your

them for five minutes)

species lived(and still

Don’t bother with

live), some million

your “charms” because

years ago.

we don’t do beasts.

We would sue the

understand that alumnus of

that you

obsession

go to the dogs.

We are made to

your skool first. We

PATCH

Bush-Gee,

It’s shocking that

and your

your skool doesn’t

current

top in History

beauty

especially since you

queen

were left behind in

Period!

ST.FRANCIS GIRLS

SSS

There is nothing

Riddle, riddle? You

still has

the evolution

as ugly as ladies

don’t vibe chics

nothing

process. All

with pronounced

during funkiez you

you have to do

masculine attributes

just stand at the

is to describe

desperately trying

corner looking

yourselves

to get recognized by

pretty hoping

on a history

guyz who don’t regard

that a brotha

paper and

them as species of the

from another

opposite sex. We’ll

school will stop

on her.

it’ll be an

And

make it very clear -you

and say hi, what

those bald

it really that

are NOT, have never

does that make you?

heads that

hard to act like

been and shall never

We’ll turn a blind

your school

normal human

be, in life or death,

eye if you proclaim

our sista school, you’d

publicly that you

instant A. Is

with all

beings or do

has to

Feb

2 0 1 0

8



Your local Inteenet

X-FILES

In And Out Before You Know It Back 2 skool

her up. “Auntie” was

countdowns are

actually her beau’s

usually filled with the

housekeeper who

dread of educational

agreed to be part of

confinement and

the scheme for a few

thoughts of all the fun

ngwanyez.

that you’ll miss out on once you’re sent off to

This story is just the

boarding skul. It’s even

tip of the iceberg,

worse for those peeps

teeniez were all in

who don’t have midi.

unison that sneaking

Not for all though,

out is a means of

some sneaky boarders

getting release from

have always found a

the murky skool

way around this. Peeps

waters. They sneak

have been sneaking

out to grace a much

out of school for ages

hyped gig or catch up

and for the most

with pals and beaus to

interesting reasons

solve ‘pending issues’,

too. We ‘sneaked’

escape ‘persecution’

some insight out of a

by cops and T.As or

teen panel that sat in

simply for the thrill of

for The Insyder review

it so as to break the monotony of skool life.

panel last holz. Is sneaking out of schools getting out of hand?

While it may seem

Kevo a 404 cat from a well known boarding skool in Nai confessed to having sneaked out of skool with his palz more than a couple of times especially when he was at the ‘rebel stage’ as he calls it. “I couldn’t bear to stay in school till the half-term break, taking pressure from guyz, cops and the admin”, he said.

So just how did they find their

way out?

to make sure no one

everyone bought it.

“It takes planning and

snitches,” he reveals.

Two days before her

knowing the ropes,”

J*, a student at a

beau’s b-day the admin

he told us. “And all the

popular up-state

received a phone call

help available from

chic skool shared

from her “aunt” who

seniors who are pros

adventures from her

demanded that the

at it makes it much

‘Bond Girl diary.’

admin should release

easier.”

Contrary to the guy’s

J*for a more thorough

more direct technique,

medical checkup. The

When they do it? “During the weekend

J’s strategy is deception admin hastily gave

especially when there

at its best. She got

her a leave pass so

are funkiez, that way

‘sick’ three weeks

the family wouldn’t

one’s absence isn’t

before the ‘big day’,

raise neglect issues

easily noticed plus we

her beau’s b-day. She

and presto, the next

also have other peeps

kept up the sick act,

day her ‘aunt’ showed

watching our backs

for several weeks and

up at school to pick

Feb

2 0 1 0

10

bold, cool and rep-enhancing to sneak out of skool, the dangers out there are REAL. A lot of things could go wrong and you could wind up paying for a few hours of “fun” with your life. Exits are an issue both students and admin need to re-think with the aim of meeting each other half way.


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Your local Inteenet

T9 -THE PLAYA PREZIDENT

Valentine’s A + Cheat Sheet In an effort to promote long-lasting peace I must dedicate this particular piece of art to Valz or risk being lynched by the iMC. I’d go into the encyclopedia that is the history of Valz but frankly you only need to know and understand is: It is NOT okay to skip Valz and it is in your best interest to ensure that she’s happy and feels special. Chics have been programmed to decipher 2/14 as the day that they receive some extra TLC from their dudes or any aspiring candidates. So you better pay close attention. Whether you’re still aspiring, it’s a new relationship or a longterm relationship Valz gifts don’t just show your affection but your level of commitment to her. You’ve gone out with her a few times, the level of commitment is low, and you’re simply having a lot of fun. What do you buy her?

This situation is the trickiest of them all. Beware because the wrong gift can take the relationship from casual dating to a fullfledged commitment. 2/14 is 24/7 therefore it goes without saying that you should make her feel as special as possible and yes the little things do count. Kick the day off by sending her a cute SMS or writing on her FB wall to make feel happy. If you’re both in confinement and there’s no way to communicate you’re feelings to your chic, who says Valentine’s Day has to be celebrated on the 2/14? Give her a special treat the day you do see her but it counts more when you give the gift on the right day. When it comes to gifts, chocolates, flowers and poems may be sweet but they are too conventional, (slow down there player), this doesn’t mean that she won’t expect to

receive them but to make her even more happy they should be accompaniments to what the actual gift will be. Think about what she appreciates the most and use that as your ultimate Valentine’s Day gift guide. You don’t need to buy an expensive gift just get her something personal and with a lot of meaning. Whatever you do for your chic just remember that chics are very competitive. Therefore this is just one more opportunity for her to show up her friends you do not want to be the brother who makes her the one everyone is showing off their cute gifts to. Playa Advisory: Do not expect a gift in return. So there it is fellows if you stick to these here rules your damsel will be bragging about you all year long.

Having babe problems and need advice? Send your questions to the Playa Prezident himself, Mr. T9 on yuaholla@ theinsyder.com or simply call 0770 325 926

Feb

2 0 1 0

12


I’M A CHAGUO ! c i t a FAN Your local Inteenet

The Insyder Magazine is giving you and 3 of your friends a chance to experience red carpet glitz & glamour and to chill in the V.I.P section at this year’s Chaguo La Teeniez Awards. Holla at us why you think you’re the No.1 CHAT FANatic and you and 3 of you’re friends could be on your way to The CHAT Awards V.I.P style!

Be creative. Be persuasive. Be the No.1 CHAT FANatic we’re looking for! Send in your applications via... Mail To: P.O. Box 51634 Nrb Email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com Facebook: The Insyder Magazine Website: www.theinsyder.com 13 2 0 1 0 Feb


Your local Inteenet

AMERICAN KENYAN By The Late Collins Munyutu

Collins Munyutu 18/11/1987 - 05/01/2010 Rest In Peace In loving memory of Collins Munyutu who joined the i-Qru in November 2009 and sadly passed away on January 5th. Before his untimely death he had worked on a story chronicling his experiences from his stay in Kenya, comparing it to his life back home in America. He shall always be fondly remembered by us all. Since finding out that I was part Kenyan, I’ve always been intrigued with my Kenyan roots. Being in a country where most African Americans came from Ghana, I felt special. This was amplified by the fact that while most people search for their distant relatives, I never had to. But this comes with its problems too. I have a language barrier when it comes to certain things and I find things a little weird when they are named differently. The American view of Kenyans is that they are very fast and that they know a lot about animals. There is no technological prestige associated with Kenya, and Kenyans are also viewed as poor people who need aid with things like food and health care because TV programs show clips on orphan kids and poverty; but I have learnt so much during my stay here and I’m very proud to call myself Kenyan. There are many things that I still don’t understand about Kenya, for instance the driving is so chaotic that it makes me wonder whether people drive when they are blindfolded and also if they are driving rubber cars because I have never seen a serious crash the whole five times I’ve been here! Secondly, matatus should be called the shove machines because of the way that the touts shove people into the vehicle and the fact that matatu drivers don’t care for anyone’s safety but their own on the road! There are big rigs(trucks) back in the US that are more careful than these machines! Another thing is that there is too much smog yet there are children and young adults walking around breathing in

Feb

toxins that could give them leukemia, and a variety of cancers.This is the future walking around! What is needed is better environmental conservation and more oxygen effecient vehicles! Eventually such efforts will lead to less pollution and cleaner air. The language barrier is only a bit difficult for me as the English spoken here in Kenya is based from British English, so I can decipher it fairly well. Though there are slight slang differences which leave me puzzled (because I’m from the US). There are certain words that are different like: Fries in place of chips and chips in place of crisps. But American slang also has some words which when I use my Kenyan buddies find to be weird like: burn, psyche and epic. American music may be well known all over the world, but there are some differences with how Kenyans listen to American music and how music is listened to in the states. What I mean is that, there is a lot more genres to American music then just rap. There’s also rock (heavy, metal, pop), rhythm and blues, country, techno and jazz. I was a bit surprised to discover that it’s mostly rap music videos being shown in Kenya. It may be cool and all, but I think that there should be more variety. The American lifestyle has always been seen as a paradise and a land of endless possibility. That couldn’t be far from the truth! I’m actually surprised at the perceptions and reactions to Americans by most Kenyans. We are seen as heroes’ one minute and crazy people the next! Truth is Americans are more

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14

or less as you see them depicted on TV and in movies, but not ALL Americans. Some are just normal people like you and me who are just trying to live their lives. Kenya is a beautiful country amidst a beautiful continent that deserves more fame then just to be known as the place where lions, elephants and giraffes come from. My hope for the future, is that Kenya will get the reputation that I know it deserves and this starts by young guys getting an eduction and realising their potential because I feel that right now the country is too tied up in the stereotype that is placed on Africa. I love Kenya, and I will always be Kenyan at heart. I’m blessed to be part of two very great families and especially love being Kenyan-American. The greatness doesn’t compare to anything else, the most interesting part is that both my families (American and Kenyan) are so diverse yet so much the same. I would like to finish off with experiences that sum up my stay in Kenya with quips from a special variant on a popular American commercial: Dealing with Matatus: HORRIBLE Eating Kenyan Sausages: GOOD Eating Chapatti and Mandazi’s: GREAT Being around people who look like you and are the coolest people in the world: PRICELESS!!!!


h t i w s p U g Bi ! n i W & . S . M . S All you have to do is text your cool big-up, using one of the Cadbury S.M.S messages below, to 0718 000 002

If your big-up gets chosen as the Big-up of the Month, you’ll win a

Cadbury SMS gift hamper for you and your special someone. So get texting.... E.g.

From

Cadbury

S.M.S

I Miss You Chocolate

Sam 204 to Grace 104

Always on My mind


Big-Ups with Send big ups to your friends and 0718 000 002 and you could Make that special someone feel extra special with a Cadbury SMS by showing them you love them, without speaking the words... MUX HAE

way 2 Fiona Babes (304) to Salim Luv u so much baby boy

Vinnie to Vivian Fox Mux Gee You mean everything to me Vinnie to Fiona Mitchell Mux Gee Mob luv Bonnie (404) to Tabie (404) Tigz Gee I got mob luv 4 u. always in ma heart Bill (404) to Caro, Abby, Georgina, Phylis, Liz, Annette and Stacey (404) Tigz Gee Mob luv 2 all of u and stay fly

NJIIRIZ Ian Karis (304) to Ashley Shiru (204) Luvin u is a pleasure. Let me luv u 2day as if 2morow will never come Mwaura (204) to Cynthia Koech (304) BOMA I luv u so much gal…4get the barriers

K-NYAXX

MARANDA

MU-HAE

Victor (304) to Faith (304) Kasikeu Luv u so much Edu Geez (404) to Carina Shiko (404) Nembu Even though I didn’t get 2 knw u enough last dec…I love u gal

STARCH Beenie Man (304) to Evelyne Mutheu (404) BOMA Manze, umenikunywa mbaya…mob luv. Santana (304) to Liz (404) Ngara Got mad luv 4 u gal Rotich (304) to Halima Yakub (304) Pangoe The luv I got 4 u is immense

HURUMA GEE Aggy Lex (204) to Kama (404) Patch I luv u boy…I hope u feel the same

Kisumu galz Luv u gal. Caro (304) to Kelvin Maina (304) NPC boys Buru Luv entered our lives lyk a smooth breeze, touched our hearts lyk un4gettable emotions and captivated our senses with its magic and brought us 2getha 4 lyf. I luv u so much mwaaah*4

Gikenda (204) to Alicia Mukami (204) Gitwe Gal, ur always on ma mind..luv u beyond words Farook (304) to Vio (204) Kitengela Gee U r without a doubt my hearts desire luv u baby Edu Bubo (404) to Flora (204) I luv u and I’d call u gillete coz ur the best a man can get

(Randoms) Tracey (304) to Julius (304) Flowers fade but ma luv 4 u is evergreen Sumira (304) to Eric ‘Mbweha’ (404) My luv 4 u is everlasting Kevin Odero (404) to Liz(404)

Artur (304) to Valerie (204) PB Umenikunywa mbaya. Nakupenda 2 sana and I hope the feeling is mutual Carlos (304) to Diana moulin (404) Trexx Alwayz in ma heart baby gal. Mob luv. Timano(304) to Achie (404) St.Gee I got a confession…nakupenda 2 sana Vierra (304) to Shanice Tharau (404) Quabbz Ur one fly babe and I got a major crush on u. Sonko (304) to Kyla Mumbi (204) LK Haujui vile umenimaliza wewe. Nimehangam mbaya. Luv u gal!

BUSACH Fred Omondi (304) to Harriet (304) Asumbi Gee U R the conquerer my luv

Sebas (404) to Winfrey(Martha) (304) Asumbi Gee Eva with yu no matta wat they say Mob luv Mark Denish (304) to Betty (404) Asumbi Gee I was afraid to know u wen I knew you I was afraid 2 luv u,now dat I luv u I´m afraid 2 loose ´U` Haron Harvey (304) to Maria (304) Ogande Gee I´m missin vitamin ´U´ Mob luv Sebas (404) to Glorians 304 Asumbi Gee Its 0721 148948 luv u Viny 304 to Winnie Hessy 304 Rae Gee A strong heart is is desired a golden opportunity luv u. Reagan Otieno 304 to Grace A 304 GEB Hop to meet u. Mob luv K² dudes to Asumbi babesittaz It’s atis we luv 2 be attached. We r just so involved wid u Sebas 404 to Kabibi 304 Asumbi Gee Your band melts my heart my luv. Otieno George 304 to Nancy Okumu 404 Ogande Gee Mah happiness is defined by ua presence my love Deno 304 to Agnetta 204 Ng’iya Gee Kip tha promise my luv Brayoh 304 to Ilysia 304 Mirgs Gee Sweet like bamboocha, nimekufeel mbaya Jemo 304 to Alphy 304 Asumbi Gee Really dying 4 u mob luv Omondi Ferdinand 404 to Sophie 404 Hill School Gee Natamani kukuleak toka kwenye neck, cheek, lips mpaka kwa hips! Mob luv

Let that special someone know they are always on your mind courtesy of Cadbury SMS PABLOS HAE Lennox Mayanja 204 to Irvine Auma 204 Carmel Gee If missin u was a crime then I wud be on a death row. If dreamin 4 u was a disease I wud be in I.C.U. But if carin for u was a sin I would buy u a first class ticket to hell MISS YA BIG! sam Komu 404 to Canavalier 404 Kilungu sec U r my missin rib

NDARAGWA GALS (N.G) Janet 304 to Okinda 304 Kyeni gals Break da syhlence! Miss u gal! Angie Ribi 304 to Eric ‘Makaveli’ 404 Khansville Everyday that goz by I MISS U….. I can’t lie! Betty Nyambura 304 to Cyrus 404 St. Marys Nyeri I miss u……….. Angie to Mshila 304 Jahmu Break da silence luvly cuzo! Miss you. Angie to 404 West St. Marys Thigio I can’t lie I feel so bad livin without u guy all da best Angie to Anvise Hi Omarion! I miss deeskie!

Pita 304 to Brenda 304 Mutex Brenda, mrenda I rilli miss u! Frank 304 to Gacheri 204 Kaaga Gee All I’m lackin is vitamin U!

BLUUZ HIGH SCHOOL Yoyo (304) to Thomas (304) – Aga Khan You and me have a covalent bond. Missing u vimeja. Frndz 4eva. SAM Angie (304) to Anna – St. Michaels. U are living proof dat true pals exist. Op unakip it doba bado. Missing u massive. Brigitta Gat (404) to 4S Ngara galz. Always in ma mind, you are all to be treasured. Anjoh (304) to Ali (Githangari Hae) Kwani, your parents are terrorists, bcoz u are the da bomb! Still missing u like sh**t. Adios. Ruby (404) to Betty, Harriet n Daniella (404) Carmel Mob luv and miss you babes!! All the best. Jackie (404) to Gazzah Kyangwithya I treasure you immeasurably. Luv en’ miss you big!

DITCHEZ Deno (204) to Lynn Wambui (204) Huruma Gee Miss you a lot cutie Kevo Kairu (404) to Faith Emelda (204) Statoe galz Nimekuhata 4 long en ur drivin mi crazy. Pliz unmute BARICHO HIGH SCHOOL Karis (304) to Grace(204) Githurai galz Ur my heart’s finest. Miss you and chop hard Njoro (304) to Barbara (204) Green Gardens How can I spell gorgeous, cute, precious bila “U”. I cant male it bila U in my lyf missing U crazy John (304) to Chibela (304) Mutira galz Miss u. Kiss me thru tha Insyder Ken (304) to Marie (204) Mary Immaculate Am unable to dissolve ur image frm ma mind coz ur ma most amiable cure. Miss u! Joe Kamah H (304) to Lenah K (304) Kabare G Mob luv beshte. Chop hard n miss yah Jonnie (304) to siz Gladys (404)

Kabz 2 more months to go dear may every sunrise bring u close to ur dreams. Luv n miss u big. To Racheal Wanjiku (304) Karoti gee frm B Where r u? did you go back to tha heavens! Come back I miss u sana Davo (304) to Maureen (304) Chania gee Am lacking vitamin u!

KAYUAMBORA (KEBCITY) Fredo 304 to Anita 404 Kangumbiri Gee 2 sylent proof u ain’t dead miss ya! Joe 304 to Millicent 304 Ngaru Gee Am jealous of da tym u spend alone Chris(404) to Naomi(404) Mul.G Ur caddles make ma worries disappear,ur hug makes everything clear. I mis u wen u are not there. Why is life so unfair

ST MATHIAS (SHAX) KTL Ken (404) to Jackie (404) Mbitini Break da silence, I miss you.

K II SALAAMZ (KUOYO) KOCHIA BOYS Haron Harvey (304) to Maria (304) Ogande Gee I´m missin vitamin ´U´

Nothing says it like


S.M.S.

special someone via CADBURY S.M.S to win a Cadbury SMS gift hamper. Remind those who matter of the eternal bond that you will forever share by sending a Cadbury SMS ST MATHIAS(SHAX) KTL Malo(404) to Noel (304) Saggs You are the most dominant gene in ma DNA. Luv u buddy Kevo (4049to Jackie (404) Mbitini Galz Care those buk 2 Da fullest n take care of my gal

K II SALAAMZ(KUOYO) KOCHIA BOYS Reagan Otieno 304 to Monica A 304 Ogande Gee Reconciliation matters

MITCHEZ SALAAMZ Sharon(304) eto pato Maish(304) Moi hae Mbiruri Embu Let´s make a toast Sharon(304) to Silvia(304), Brenda(204) Lions Hae Embu We are Divas Sharon(304) to Grace Wango(404) St.Annes Gituba You are best cuzo in the world Mary Wambo(304) to abi(204) Kambui I luv u Cuzo Arusa (304) to Mercy Shiro

(304) Our Lady of Mercy Still best friends though our third fool went Alexandra(204) to Ford (304) Changez I arrive on F.B on 5th august. Be there!

ST ANGELA’S-KITUI (SAGGS) Jacky Mwende(304) to Mike (304) St. Paul If roses were friends, don I would definateky pick u up. Damaris Nzomo(304) to Caleb(404) Meru Skul Kip da flames of friendship more n more, dei after dei until we meet Evelyne Mwende(304) to Rahma Salim(Memoh),Nur Abdul-Aziz(Chogoria Gee) &Yvonne Ngugi (Kangaru Gee) 204, U guys Always put a smile on ma face Damaris Nzomo(304) To Derrick(Mac-B) 304 This friendship is unbreakable thru fire en flames wen all iz over, our friendship remains. Daniella(Jacky) 304 to Micheal(4049 (Mantinyani) U suppliment our friendship n

complement ma lyf Mearah Jereh(404) Hellen Mush(304) Muthale Lyk the moon shines, U do In ma hert lets mek our paroz proud. Tuko mbele SAGGS GALS TO INYDER CREW We wouldn’t do without ´U´ Pamoja 4eva. Kip d Spirit Jackson(304) to Kelvin(304) Christ died for all of us but i was to b him i wud ave died 4 u. Friends 4 eva Antoz to Charlene BFFs forever ata kama we don’t see each other often. Cynthia to Rama, Payo, Sally You guys are the best, mob love Cathy to Sandra Thanks for the heads p, Bestfriend Lorraine to Miriam BFF if he likes it then he shoulda put a ring on it. Otherwise mwache. Tighter than tight. Anne to Jose Love you best friend

Turn a wrong into a right by sending a Cadbury SMS to smooth things over MAMA NGINA H. SCH

TUMUTUMU

Sonia (304) to Austin Ambesta Miss u lyk crazy boy holla! Lets just 4get what happened and move on Courtney (404) to Zeiph (404) Jabbzvile Sijui mbona these days unanilenga hivyo kama nilikukosea then iza and I hope we can work out something.

Habida (404) to Davy Muchai I knw what I did was wrong and I regret every bit of it Dinda babez (404) to Tosh Kangaru boyz Baby, plz lets 4get all that and lets get 2getha Wanja (404) to Mose Kimani (404) Meru Luv u 2 much 2 let u go. Am sorry 4 acting like that

KANUNGA

MAC BEE

Thiga Jerry (204) to Krisette (304) Kambui I never meant to hurt u baby gal Mwas (204) to Michelle (204) Blame it all on me. So sorry baby Fabien (204) to Elaine Ciku (304) Ruiru Sina wordz ila 2 kusema iza kwa ile incident ya Dec Micky Mich (204) to Truddy Hamisi (204)Aga Sorry 4 what I did gal

Solo K-man(304) to Jesse (304) Mac Gee Iza kwa what I did gal Mark (304) to Mercylynn Ingrid (304) P.B kilungu Sina la kusema….let it go. Mbaluka (304) to Sylvia Njoki (304) Sorry 2010 baby.

NYAKATCH BEE Cesc to Tamara (304) Lwak Iza 4 all I put u through Oti sonko (404) to Adrianne Wanja Pole…I know I was a jerk

Friend, family or loved one...make their special day even happier by wishing them the best with a Cadbury SMS BLUUZ HIGH SCHOOL Ruby (404) to Ryner (104) MEC Vipi, just a reminder dat you got a long way to go but as for me I’m leaving, chop harder, happy B-DEI and stay fly. Salaamz to Kevo, Gerald and Nico.

CHANGEZ Marto (Changez) to Maureen Kask Happy Birthday mtoto mrembo

STATOE Daisy to George Mosomi Happy Birthday you guy!!

(OTHERS) Jackson(304) to Shem (304) Lyf is lyk a candle, a gift 4rom a Holy Cradle, Happy B-Day ur so special pita Mavado

Show your appreciation to that special someone with a Cadbury SMS KITONDO SKOOL

Bobby to Ida Achitsa I take back what I said. I shouldn’t have acted that way.

NAIROBI MILIMANI Dunco Dan (304) to Inez Claire I never meant 2 hurt u baby Mburu (304) to Tasha Njeri (404) P.B Miss u so bad..we have 2 get back 2getha. Just 4give what I did Evanso (304) to Sarah ‘nightnurse’ (204) Ma’hill Iza 4 acting like a fool and breaking ur heart I didn’t mean 2 do that.

BURU GEE Mischa (204) to Papa sann (404) Makini My loneliness is killing me… come back 2 me boy coz I regret everything I did Lynn Abby(204) to Bairon Andati I dnt feel like arguing anymore…I give in. Am sorry 4 what I did Nduta rudegyal (204) to Faizul Ricardo (204) Maasai boys Sorry 4 all I did.

Cadbury S.M.S.

Moses Karauri (404) to Purity Kendi (404) Kaaga Gee Luv u gal, Thanks Nunga (304) to Kaveni Noella (404) St.Gee I owe u A LOT! Ur my best friend thanx kwa kila kitu Mutinda (304) to Zuhura Ali Thank u 4 everything especially…u knw what Ezra Mutish (404) to (404) Makueni galz I dnt knw how ill ever pay u back… Thanx 4 everything

NG’IYA GALZ Sue Onditi (404) to Marto.K. (404) Ovotes Thanx 4 being a true friend Angel sofia (404) to Abedi Musa (404) Saints Yala Thanx 4 everything Princess Essy (204) to Winnie Ngara galz Thanx 4 all ur help cuzo Tessy opiyo (404) to Don (404) Onjixe Ur my everything. Thanx a lot Parky Arya Queen Ifrika(304) to Morris Kaura (404) Thanx 4 always being there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal Zara wa Henry (304) to Dan Blue

Humphrey to Sally Happy birthday swits Bob Koigi to Kui Gathinji I wish I was there to spend your special day with you, happy birthday. Maureen Mrondo to Thomas Mlungula If I had one wish it would be to spend this day with you. Happy birthday. Godfrey Njogu to Cathrine Nduta Happy bday lurv Eric Kimani to Mic Mutuku Happy bday bro Newton Ndegwa to Cecilia Nungari Nakutakia yote mazuri mwaka huu kuanzia siku hii yako ya kupanda umri. Fentonce to Alice Happy bday Collins Katana to Peris Muchina My happiness depends on your happiness, Happy birthday.

sky Esto Niaje thanks 2 sana 4 all ur help Ur a good friend Lee-lo (404) to Faizul I’ll always b gr8ful Dee Anchal (204) to Elsa siz Thanx coz ur always there Maureen Ifrika (304) to The Insyder mag Thanx 4 entertaining teeniez 4 10 years

NYAHURU BOYZ Gathuro (404) to Anita (204) St.Annes Muthale Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin T-Bag Omulindi (404) to Karisma (404) Steph joy Manze thanx 4 u knw what Kama (204) to Alyc Princess (304) Gatanga Owe u big tym…asante 4 all the help Theuri (404) to Ivy Nangira Thanx 4 being there

(OTHERS) Jackson (304) to Dad Am happy coz ur in my lyf now. Thanx 4 everything na ukinibotia insyder kila month Joyce Gitonga (404) to Mum Luv u mum n thanx 4 everything Thanx mum 4 giving birth 2 me Ivy lagat(304) to Resh (404) Ngara Thanx Bana! Say hi 2 ur bro


PHOTOMANIA REAL TEENIEZ REAL MOMENTS

The Insyder is spreading some serious love to all teeniez massive. We’ve dedicated a whole page to feature cool pics from all our fans. Show your papparazo side by sending us cool photos of yourself/your pals. Grab a cam and start clicking!

Chesar Bee Rugby Team (Western Buff’s)

Bildad (Creepa Boy) Chesa Bee 404

Showcasing Gathirimu Glamour

Saints rugby team rocking their new kits from Brookhouse

David Karauri 404 Kitondo Bee

Ng’ang’alito with a fan

Side Vako crew, Mux Bee

Insyder love at Brookhouse

Muguma Bendera school

Who swagg jacked Vinny, who? Mux Bee

Ian & Wuwe (404) Pablo Hae


Your local Inteenet

tumechill

My Chill Factor is... SWIMMING

NETBALL&CHURCH Name: Jacky Wairimu (304) Age: 17 yrs School: Kottet

Name: Nicholas (Nico) Theuri(304) Age: 17 yrs School: Changez

Jacky ‘Ciru’ Wairimu from Kottet loves playing netball and hopes to take it a notch higher by playing professionally for the national team. Jacky attributes her choice to abstain to her will power and church teachings.

Nico from Changez loves sports with his favorite sport being swimming. He used to be on the Changez swim team before it took a hiatus and he’s one of the guys actively lobbying for its return.

“Netball is my favorite sport and it helps me to keep fit and unwind when I’m in school. It’s a great past time during the holz because it keeps me busy when there is so much pressure to ‘get down’ with what some of my peers are engaging in like pre-marital sex. When I’m not playing netball or hanging out with my pals, I study hard to become a successful pediatrician coz I love working with kids. I value my future and won’t jeopardize it by engaging in sex at this age. Chilling is cool” NIMECHILL!

helps Going to church r decision he ld ho up y ck Ja to chill

“As a dude, it’s not easy chilling coz the pressure to fit in is immense but I have goals to achieve. I’m polishing my swimming skills in the hope that I’ll one day compete in the Olympics. I’m also working very hard at school because I hope to be an engineer in the very near future. I believe that engaging in sex right now will only bring complications which I don’t need right now because I’m not ready to deal with pregnancy scares and STDs. I’ll keep my focus and wait for the right time” NIMECHILL!

Jacky hopes to become a paediatrician

Are you a tenn who is chilling and proud of it? Make a statement by telling us what your chill factor is and also help other teens to make the right decision. Holla at us at email address: yuaholla@theinsyder.com (ATTN: Tumechill ) or write to us via The Insyder P.O. Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi 19 Feb

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co’s Swimming is Ni t. or sp ite or fav

Nico hopes to pursue a degree in engineering


TOO HOT FOR T.V.

Take a look at what stars have been up to Pg 22..........Beatlab Pg 23..........411 Pg 28..........New Skool

groovie mOvie

DAYBREAKERS Genre: Action/Thriller It’s 2017 a virus has spread through the world turning its inhabitants into vampires and the undead now outnumber the living. With their food supply dwindling, the vampires must find a way to sustain their source of food.

BOOK OF ELI Genre: Action/Drama After the final war in the wasteland that is now America a warrior not by choice but necessity, Eli (Denzel Washington) guards the Book of Eli, which provides knowledge that could redeem society.Only one other man understands the power Eli holds, Carnegie (Gary Oldman), the self-appointed despot of a makeshift town of thieves and gunmen and he is determined to make it his own. Carnegie’s adopted daughter Solara is fascinated by Eli but neither will find it easy to deter him. Some will kill to have it he will kill to protect it.

WOLFMAN Genre: Thriller When his brother’s fiancée, Gwen

DVD STALL/TUBE TALK

HARPER’S ISLAND Genre: Horror/Thriller NTV Fridays 10.15 pm

Conliffe, tracks him down to aide in the

Abby Mills (Elaine Cassidy), still

search of his missing brother Lawrence

haunted by the vivid and persistent

Talbot, a haunted nobleman, experiences

nightmares of her mother’s murder, journeys home to

an unsettling transformation after being

Harper’s Island for the first time since the horrific event to

attacked by a rampaging werewolf upon returning to his

celebrate the marriage of her childhood best friend Henry

ancestral home in Victorian-era Great Britain. Upon reuniting

Dunn (Christopher Gorham) to Trish Wellington (Katie

with his estranged father (Anthony Hopkins), he learns that

Cassidy), a beautiful, innocent and wealthy heiress. Neither

something with brute strength and insatiable bloodlust has

the happy couple nor the wedding guests have any idea that

been killing the villagers. However before the beast can be

returning to Harper’s Island will unravel a twisted tale of

slain, a simple man will uncover a primal side of himself

murder and revenge as these wedding guests – each with

that he never knew existed and a destiny far darker than his

their own motives, fears and desires – must find the killer (or

blackest nightmares.

killers) before he (or she) strikes again.


Too hot for T.V.

Riddim nation

America Bound Vybez Vybz Kartel US visa ban restriction has been lifted. The dancehall star who last performed in America five years ago has been unable to have tours or concerts in America despite his popularity. The reason behind his previous ban has never been disclosed but this may be due to ‘image problems’ that he and other Jamaican artists face thus the restrictions in accessing foreign counties like America and Europe. Artists like Beenie Man, Buju Banton and Sizzla have also fueled significant anger from gay rights groups because of their homophobic sentiments.

SHAGGY & FRIENDS

Bounty Killer

Shaggy is a man who’ll be choosing his friends more wisely from now on. He was the victim of a Kanye-like moment at a charity fundraiser event he was hosting dubbed ‘Shaggy & Friends’. Well his friend Bounty Killer got on stage and attacked the politicians and members of the upper class (read rich people ) in attendance for being hypocrites and not contributing enough to charity capping this off with a neat anti-gay Gentleman inadi tirade. Bounty later party apologized.

CLOUDY FUTURE FOR BUJU BANTON Miami on federal drug charges of attempting to buy more than 5kgs of cocaine from an undercover law enforcement officer with intent to distribute. If convicted, Banton Buju Banton could face as many as 20 years in prison. Controversial Anti-Gay reggae This comes on the singer Buju Banton has yet back foot of the again made headlines for all the Dancehall DJ holding wrong reasons. Buju Banton, talks with the gay whose real name is Mark community to try and Anthony Myrie, was arrested in stop gay bashing.

Feb

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21

Vybz Kartel

Riddim Profile Gova Names: Kareem Dawkins, Better Known as: QQ

airwaves. His success

at such a young age has been plagued with controversy as advocates of Jamaica’s I6 year old Kareem Child Labour Laws ‘QQ’ Dawkins better forced the young star to known as QQ is desist from performing dancehall artist claiming that his behind hits such as performance broke ‘Tek It to Dem’ also known as ‘Ruum Ram’ Jamaica’s Child Labour. His parents were also and ‘Skip to My Lou’ all of which come with embroiled in a custody battle over who would their own signature have custody over him dance styles. QQ set but the judge awarded holds the record of joint custody to both the youngest person parents, it was also in Jamaica to have a hit song, ‘Poverty’ at determined that his father GQ will continue only 10 years old. to manage his career. His music has been The little man is way receiving heavy rotation on both local on his way to dancehall super stardom. and international

QQ and his dad


Too hot for T.V.

Beatlab

Explosive Sizzling Volatile Effervescent

Innert

Ni Kubaya MC: Juliani Production: Gatwitch Recordss Review by Marcus Itimu

The lyrical master Juliani is back with yet another track but a different kind of gospel. ‘Ni Kubaya’ is a conscientious track based on the adverse climatic changes, the negative effects it’s having on the planet and how everyone

can play a small role in saving our environment. Juliani spits fire on this one and he displays great musicianship as he conveys the message with an emotional touch to it. True to all his tracks, you learn something as you bob your head. Rating:

Msichana

My House

MC: Eko Dydda Production: Kingdom Musik Review by Marcus Itimu

‘My House’ is swagger and stammer in full swing as Eko Dydda debuts his second track. His solo on this one and holds it down on his own pretty well. ‘My House’ is a gospel song with a message of thanksgiving to the lord but holds a cross-over appeal due to its witty lyrics and catchy tune. The beats to this song have a well crafted arrangement as he switches from fast paced tempo beats at times reminiscent of Sharifa and Ludacris ‘I need a Boss’ to the mellow praise and worship style. This track is sure to rise to the top of the charts.

MCs: Peter Miles and Nazizi Production: Road Block Review by Marcus Itimu

This track is a definite club banger. Another Kenya – Uganda collabo from Nazizi. Frankly, Peter Miles Ugandan style is the saving grace to this track. Miles and Naz

Rating:

deliver a sort of dance-hall rap with Naz throwing in some very impressive bits of vocals. The beats are upbeat and easy to dance to, kudos to Road Block for that. The video is nothing to write home about, though Miss Naz is looking a tad bit more girlie than usual but a little bit more creativity would have been an added bonus. Rating:

The views expressed in this column are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The Insyder

Feb

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22


Too hot for T.V.

411

Will The Dreads Go?

B/G-YONCE

It’s bad enough that rapper Lil Wayne will be locked up for one year, but in preparation for his lock-up he may have to cut off his trademark dreadlocks which are almost waist-long( prison rules)! Snip Snip...

It’s About Time!

J.LO OR LOLA? You’ve probably caught the video to the joint ‘Videophone’ by Beyonce feat. Lady GaGa and you’re probably wondering why the Queen of everything weird looks all cleaned up and is trying to pull a B/G-Yonce. Lady Gaga admitted it was

because she didn’t want to look like a circus freak next to Beyonce and so when Queen Bey hollad she said “I don’t want to show up in some frickin’ hair bow and be fashion GaGa in your video. I want to do you.” Thus G-yonce was born.

Beyonce may have started a trend, with her Sasha Fierce Multiple Personality/Alter-

ego high because J.Lo seems to want in on it. Jenny from the block is planning on making a come-back after a two year hiatus spent raising babies and being Mrs. Marc Anthony only she may or may not come back as J.Lo but Lola. (Ugh!) She’s even opened a website for her new album ‘Love’ with a dancing figure (Lola).

Katy Perry Vs Lilly Allen A feud has apparently been brewing between these two damsels. Things got frosty between them when Katy Perry described herself as “I’m like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen!’ during an interview. It’s been downhill from there and things have gotten so bad that Lily Allen apparently demanded that organizers ban Katy from attending Paris fashion week if she was to perform.

Breaking Love

LOVE BIRDS Though we knew this from way back in September, we thought we’d just let you know that from Marya’s FB relationship status these two have finally

Rumour has it that Twilight lead characters ‘Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart (Bella) may actually be lovebirds in real life. Who’d blame after starring in this century’s ultimate romance story second only to

decided to officially announce their engagement.

Feb

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Disney’s latest release ‘The Princess and the Frog’ is Disney’s first animation film to feature a black heroine, Princess Tiana. Also instead of a classic Disney witch, the villian in ‘The Princess and the Frog’ is a Voodoo practitioner. The animation features the voices of Anika Noni Rose (as Princess Tiana), Oprah Winfrey and Terrence Howard amongst others.

Romeo & Juliet. 23




Back To Wangeci, Kate, Caro and Kawawa holding it down for Senior Chief Koinange

Jabbzville dudez looking all suspect in their ‘casual uniform’

Esther and Mary Leila from jabbz looking pretty excited on spotting our picharazzi

Deno and Benso (304) Karuri High were caught off guard by our paps

Mwas from Njirriz not too shy

“Wacha zako wewe!” Caro and Shiko catching pal before heading to skool

Fiona Wanjiru Apostolic Carmel chilling for a fly mat to cruise with back to skool

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This Jabbz dude was intent on the news to m it was really back to skool before hittin Shiko and Lucky (404) reppin Pan Afric Gee make their last calls...

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Flora Nekesa (304) Igreen high was all smiles and ready for skool

g up with their

make sure that ng the road

Isn’t it funny how while some peeps still find bumming at the stage jisty?

Huruma’s vintage wheels before their much needed upgrade

This Kottet chic was all stocked up for the long term and the cold months ahead

Check out their upgraded wheels...

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Choxx honiez chilling at their stage

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to pose for our paps

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Gathieni in full breeze mode at their stage


Too hot for T.V.

NEW SKOOL

Young Talent Causing Ripples

KIU

KIU: Resurrecting music with their accapella prowess

Joining the turf of accapella groups and rising up fast is Kiu (meaning thirst.) A trio of mellow voiced cats on a mission to resurrect music as they sing their way to stardom. Kiu is made up of Paul, Jimmie and Steve they also have an occasional guitarist named Dan. They started singing way back when they

REAL GURUZ

Real Gurus: Starch’s HipHop Gurus Mark in red tee and Brian in Black tee

REAL GURUZ

Brian, Arnold, Shem and Mark make up the rapping sensation that is the Real Guruz. This quartet of multitalented dudez who recently cleared

were in Aga Khan High School and decided to take it a notch higher after clearing. On their stage name, Jimmie says it vividly brings out their earnest ‘thirst’ to quench or rather entertain and offer some artistic soul asylum for those seeking something different from what the industry has to from Starch Bee are fast becoming a household name. The group was the brain child of Brian (Mister B) who also happens to be the editor of their skool mag SCAN. He teamed up with pal Mark, and they were later joined by Arnold and Shem. They’ve repped Starch in almost all the cool funkiez; including The Insyder sponsored Choxx Talent Day and they never disappoint. They usually bring along a hype entourage of street dance pros from their school by the name Rehobz to

Feb

offer. They are already recording under the Pentharmony label with Wawesh Wapenya which also happens to be the brainchild behind Kevin formerly of Sema. Their brand of music is mostly afro fusion but they also experiment with classical Jazz. Paul says that they are very diverse, experimental make their gigs more explosive. So, what’s in the pipeline for them? Mister B spells out success .With their shrewd business minds; they already have their own line of cool branded tees that they sell for only a punch (500 baab)

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FLOETRY FURY Blue Korna and open to new ideas. That’s why they did a language assorted accapella ballad by the name ‘Wairimu’. The ballad is sung in English, Swa and Kyuk. It is the most requested song at their gigs followed by ‘Mdosi’ a political critique song. But, are radio stations willing to embrace this genre of music? “It will be quite a challenge but we are willing to take it up and we are confident that we will pull through,” says Paul. The three look up to Ilani and Sauti Sol as their musical role models. We’ll definitely keep an eye on these guys.

‘We want to be the guruz of young hip hop in Kenya,’ says Mister B. With his free style prowess, Mark’s penning skills, Arnold and Shem’s articulacy….these guyz are set to cause ripples.

Rehobz: Have got some mad dancing skills

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Jina ya Gova: Rodney Baru Msanii: Arafat Reppin’ : St.Mark Track: I am Hip hop Rhymes ni bold, u already bin told Hizi mistari nazitreasure kama gold Hip hop I gat the hold, ni mi nashikilia sword Red code red code, come on board Niwatake down this road, by the time mnaload Millions already sold, iza jo the world is cold Hatters wanaprop, ka macrp, wanataka uflop Lakini wanafaa kustop, ju mi bado niko on the top Mistari nikidrop, si pop ni hiphop!

Red Korna Jina ya Gova: Chris Mwaura Msanii: Karis man Reppin’: Parky Track: Generali Yeah ni Generali Najoin hii industry Kaa niko tayari Mahood na mbati, Ready kupop champagne ka resident mnati, hii insider ni phat stage kama nimedunga Arafat ka unasuffer from plague enda ukatibiwe Hague ama ukakunywe KEG labda David akuwe Craig kubanjuka ndio mi nimeungua sibanjuki zingine isipokuwa Lingua ndio siezi forcemafala wa kawaida nikidance off na Alkaida Pengine uanze kusoma majarida Mahater, Matraitor, Commentator Mi huwashow tu see you later


O R E T Y TOTALL

Str8 Up Talk On Love and Much More...

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Meet TV’s latest bombshell, she’s got stunning looks and a personality to match all of which she brings on the airwaves every Monday to Friday at 5pm as she hosts one of TV’s most popular youth shows, Str8 Up Live on KTN. Don’t let looks fool you as this little lady is totally at ease with herself, radiates ambition and is as vivacious as they come.

iMC: Tero on Tero? Tero: Tero doesn’t like talking about Tero but I’ll make an exception. I’m actually very reserved and laid back. iMC: Wow! Holding down two media jobs, hosting Str8 Up on KTN & The Velvet Room on Homeboyz, pretty impressive? Tero: My dad was a very hard worker so laziness was not an option for me. He took all of us kids to school with one advice, your inheritance is now. There are always circumstances in life that will make you work hard, (giggles)... besides all those pairs of shoes won’t be given to me for free. iMC: When did you know that you wanted to be in the media biz? Tero: By luck! I was working at a company that did capacity building and training and I didn’t like my job. As fate would have it I came across an ad saying that Homeboyz were looking for presenters. At first I was shy about trying out but my sister Vanessa pushed me to go for it and just for fun I did. I was called for two auditions before they hired me, marking the beginning of my career in media. iMC: Most guys may not know this, but you were born in Tanzania? Tero: Yes, my dad was a Tanzanian

your head; it’s just to t ge TV t le ’t on D “ ly that on this one on r he ot y an e lik b a jo st of the world” you’re seen by the re

diplomat so I grew up in a lot of places, New York, Paris and finally Kenya. I came back to Africa when I was around 12 years old. iMC: Is it true what they say about culture shock? Tero: Yes! Moving back home took a lot of getting used to, I didn’t want to come back at first. I was young so the insects, mosquitoes and pollution freaked me out. But right now I love Africa and my country. I wouldn’t go back if someone asked me because life out there is not always as glamorous as everyone thinks it is. iMC: Born in T.Z, working in Kenya, which one do you consider as home? Tero: Tanzania definitely, as much as I’ve got great friends here, my family is in Tanzania. Home is where family is, although when I do go there most people think I’m Kenyan coz the Kenyan accent has grown on me because I went to school here, secondary at Greensteads in Nakuru and University at USIU. iMC: Were you a good student and did you like school?

Tero: A good student yes but on liking school I was just like any other teen. I was the quiet, shy gal who’d sit in the corner wanting to fit in with the popular galz but I never did. Once you grow up you realise none of that matters as life has a funny way of working out. iMC: How is your Swahili? Tero: In TZ it sucks but here people are always complementing me about it. iMC: How do you stay in touch with your family? Tero: We’re very close. My mom is absolutely the best because she calls me and texts me all the time to make sure I’m okay. She also sends me bible verses every morning. I spend a lot on airtime but it’s worth it. iMC: How did you get to host Str8 Up Live on KTN? Tero: Well, when they wanted to revamp the show and bring in new people someone referred me to them, I went for the screen tests and I got the position. I feel very lucky and blessed because I had no training in journalism, let alone TV save for my job at Homeboyz. iMC: Were you self-conscious at first? Tero: Yes, sometimes I watch old footage of myself and cringe, I also shrub a lot but I’m used to it now. The technical bit of it was a bit of a challenge especially since I hadn’t studied Journalism but International Business Administration with a minor in Marketing. Luckily I’m a very quick learner. iMC: Do you love being on TV? Tero: I love my job but one thing I always hold close to my heart is my boss’ advice: Don’t let TV get to your head; it’s just a job like any other only that on this one you’re seen by the rest of the world. iMC: What do you love most


about hosting Str8 Up? Tero: Knowing that I can influence young people positively through the show and meeting new people who inspire me in so many ways. iMC: Velvet room or Str8 Up which show do you enjoy hosting the most? Tero: The Velvet Room because I can be bring out my personality and be myself more without worrying about who’s looking at me, on TV you always have to be on your toes. Plus Homeboyz were the first to believe in me. iMC: How do you balance hosting Str8 Up and holding down your radio gig at Homeboyz Radio? Tero: I don’t really have much of a social life during the week. Str8up is Mondays to Friday 9:00 am -6:30 pm and my show on Homeboyz radio is Mondays-Thursday after 10:00 pm -12midnight and Saturday’s from 2:00pm. It was hard juggling the two at first but I’m used

Tero with siz TZ MTV VJ, Vanessa

same biz so she can relate to it. iMC: It sounds like you’re very tight with your siz? Tero: Yes we are. She’s my best friend and I can’t go a day without talking to her but she’s louder and more outspoken than I am. (Tero’s small siz Vanessa Khausa Mdee won the MTV VJ search compe in TZ, she’s a popular media personality in bongoland, she’s an MTV Base VJ, DJ, Model and presenter.) iMC: There are rumours that you were dating DJ Styles? Tero: (laughs) I’ve heard them but that’s exactly what they are rumours. We’re just friends. I would never date anyone who’s in this industry. iMC: Are you dating anyone and what’s your fondest Valentine’s Day memory? Tero: Nope, I’m single right now and I want to work on building Tero because my schedule is too hectic. I don’t really have any special Valentine’s moments because I’ve never been in a relationship during

Vanessa with Kenya MTV VJ, Emukhule

to it now. That’s why; the best part of my day is the moment I get to lay back in bed and relax. iMC: What has been the reaction from your listeners and viewers? Tero: Everyone has been wonderful and very positive I’m especially humbled that teeniez have nominated DJ Kay-Trixx and myself for the Teeniez’ VJ and Presenter in a Music Show category. iMC: How do you handle the attention especially from jamaaz?

Tero and Vanessa hanging out

Valentine’s Day but it’s cute seeing people walking around holding hands and the burst of red everywhere. iMC: How do you handle the break-up part? Tero: Understanding why it didn’t work in the first place, for instance I personally wasn’t ready to settle down. Talking about it to people who are close to me helps a lot. And time, time to get away from the person, to give a clean break to get him out of my system. iMC: Are you a romantic? Tero: I believe in true love but then again no relationship is easy because there are good times and there are bad times, they’re times that you’ll want to kill each other but there are also days when you’ll be in seventh heaven you just have to communicate with each other and work on it. iMC: What’s the nicest thing a guy has done for you? Tero: There’s this time my ex didn’t know which type of cake I wanted or liked most, so he bought me all of them.

but then again no ve lo ue tr in ve lie be “I cause there are relationship is easy be e are bad times” good times and ther

Tero: (Smiles) It’s not really attention, more like stares and whispers. Most people won’t approach me but I can tell that they recognize me. Those who do will automatically go ...OMG you’re so short... (Laughs)...correction it’s petite. I once overheard some guys say ‘kumbe tu yuko kama sisi’. Yes, I’m just like any other normal girl. iMC: What about being a media personality who’s under constant scrutiny? Tero: I always pray to God to watch over me because as much as it comes with its perks it can be vicious. My siz Vanessa is also a great source of inspiration to me, because we’re basically in the


iMC: When was your first kiss? Tero: It was with my first boyfriend when I was sixteen and I dreaded it so much. The guy was sloppy so it wasn’t the best of experiences. iMC: Describe your ideal guy? Tero: He should be tall, dark and handsome, caring, funny and hardworking. Plus he has to totally get me and respect me. iMC: What’s your ideal Valentine gift? Tero: Most guys think that they’ve got to pull grand gestures to make a chic feel loved, but my ideal Valentine’s gift would be just to spend some time together plus it should go beyond that a guy shouldn’t just make me feel special on one day it should be as often as possible. iMC: You’re very stylish, do you have a stylist or you pick your own clothes? Tero: I’m obsessed with fashion especially shoes plus I’ve kinda developed my own style, I know what works for me, what my best features are and sometimes I pick tips from what I see other people wearing. iMC: What’s the misconception about Tero that you want to clarify? Tero: That I’m arrogant or bitchy. I’m just a very shy and reserved person, I don’t let just anyone in and thus most people often take that to mean that I’m unapproachable. If you’re a fan and just want to say hi please don’t hesitate.

iMC: What message do you want to send to teen girls who look up to you? Tero: Know who you are and always be yourself. As a teen I remember trying to fit into a certain group but looking back none of that counts. To always remember, you can be anything that you believe. iMC: What are your future plans? Tero: My long-term plan is to eventually venture into marketing and advertising but right now I love what I do and I’m just enjoying it.

TOTALLY TERO

Full Names: Namtero Mdee Nickname: Now it’s Tero but when I younger it was Nukta because I was so tiny when I was young. Birthday: November 13th (Scorpio) I love: My family, clothes, shoes and music. I dislike: When people ask me why I’m single. Every morning: I pray first then clean my ears. My greatest fear is: Failure and not being able to support myself. My most annoying habit: I sneer a lot sometimes. I can’t live without my: Cellphone, I would die without it! I wish I could change: My height...but then again that’s why they invented heels. I’m grateful for: The blessings I’ve received being able to support my family. My role model is: People who have been through so much and have been able to overcome it to become better a person. Most people don’t know: I have a tongue and belly piercing. I’d like to meet: Nelson Mandela, Idi Amin (To ask him why he was so evil) & Nicky Minaj because she’s cute and out of this world.


Too hot for T.V.

Answer Bitch

Next Please... Valerie

Fantasia

Alicia

Gabrielle Union

The League of famous homewreckers Hi AB, I’m really upset with Valerie Kimani’s over the whole vibe with Eric Wainaina. I mean why would she do that? A married man? She’s a home wrecker and a tramp to say the least!! I know Eric is also on the wrong for having played a part in the whole thing. Why can’t she have a heart and at least be apologetic about it? Lucy, Choxx Lucy, How would I know why people like Valerie feel the need to be scandalous and boast about it? I may be a bitch but honey I don’t roll that way! Considering she was the “good girl” character in the hit series Shuga and was telling people not to have promiscuous sex and all Val is definitely a “good girl” gone bad but Eric ain’t exactly innocent. News Flash

people and especially celebz don’t always do what they preach. The list of famous home wreckers include: Alicia Keys, Fantasia and Gabrielle Union. Reader alert; please don’t try this little galz. AB Sup Bitch, Since you seem to know all there is to know about showbiz, who do you think is going to be big in Kenya’s entertainment industry in 2010? Kevo, Patch Kevo, You got the first part right. Though if only it were that simple because, truth be told upcoming artists/media babes/ duddettes need to up their game by bringing something new to the table and stop copying what’s already in the market. Otherwise Kenya’s showbiz royalty will consist of the same old faces because there can only

Feb

ever be one Answer Bitch, be original. AB Hi AB, I’m a huge T.I fan. My pals were telling me that he has been released from jail. I have two questions. Is it true that he is really out of Jail? Is he going to release any new music and will going to jail affect his career? Alex, Malezi Alex, First off you obviously can’t count. Let me educate you boy, you asked three not two questions! Seeing as you can’t even count I’ll try to make this as simple as possible; T.I is indeed out of jail but he’s not off the hook yet. Translation? His prison break will not lead him home right away but to a halfway house (a place for rehabilitation) for three months, then comes the house

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arrest then he has to serve 500 hours of community service. He’s one rapper who will not be brandishing weapons any time soon. As for his music career I am NOT his manager. AB Hi Answer Bitch, When is Lil Wayne going to get locked up? I’m sick of hearing everyone repeat the same old story that he’ll be going to jail, who cares?! Joan Quabbz Joanne, You, obviously for even bothering to write to moi about it. Let’s get something very clear; you brats seem to have me confused for a prison warden with all your jail questions. It’s very simple; do the crime, pay the time. When Lil Wayne gets locked up is his damn business unless you want to do the time

in his place. Next please? Hi AB, I know guys say you’re mean and all but I think you’re okay and I’m a great fan of yours. I have a small favour to ask you, I want to be a singer and I was wondering if you’d hook me up with Avril and Marya coz I’d really love to do a collabo with them. Pleeeaaassseee? Anonymous, This doesn’t dignify a response because whoever you are, you honestly can’t get any dumber. Seeing as you mailed this assuming that I would be retarded enough to oblige you’re request, was I supposed to write anonymous on the envelope? Some free advice, when you assume you only make an arse out of yourself.


Too hot for T.V.

word play

Artist(s): Mad Traxx Intro

They say charity starts at home and who’ll be confident in you if you’re not confident in yourself so when you look in the mirror just tell yourself

Chorus

yes I’m a big shot yes I’m a big man check out my big watch boss cause I am big time and I’m a big shot yes I’m a big man check out my big watch boss cause I am big time and I’m a big deal a big deal typical African man yes I’m a big deal a big deal a big deal typical African man yes I’m a big deal Verse 1 I go to the club no space for me I still check in make space for me tell the waiter there get a drink for me

and for that lady there and for that lady too Bridge cause I’m too sexy for my clothes I am too sexy for my shoes too sexy for this club they say Madtraxx baby look at you too sexy for this car too sexy for these girls yes I’m a superstar man I’m too sexy for this world

Chorus

cause I’m a big shot yes I’m a big man check out my big watch boss cause I am big time and I’m a big shot yes I’m a big man check out my big watch boss cause I am big time and I’m a big deal a big deal typical African man yes I’m a big deal a big deal a big deal typical African man yes I’m a big deal

Verse 2

Song: Big Shot

big things are popping little things are stopping that is why you’re feeling everything I’m dropping big hits are here big hits are there big hits in your ear super producer I’m everywhere

Bridge

cause I’m too sexy for my clothes I am too sexy for my shoes too sexy for this club they say Madtraxx baby look at you too sexy for this car too sexy for these girls yes I’m a superstar man I’m too sexy for this world

Chorus Verse 3

and it’s not just me it’s you you’re a big deal you got your driver’s license you’re a big deal you got your first paycheck you’re a big deal

you just graduated you’re a big deal a new style you’ve created you’re a big deal a big deal... a big deal... a big deal... so no matter what you do no matter where you’re from no matter who you are just know that you’re a big deal

Outro

man lemme lemme see

Artist(s): Rihanna Feat. Young Jeezy That Rihanna reign, just won’t let up All black on, blacked out shades Blacked out Maybach I’ma rock this place like fashion, as in goin’ til they say stop And my runway never looked so clear But the hottest chick in heels right here

Intro

Yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Yeah, yeah, yeah (Ah yeah, yeah, yeah) Ah yeah, yeah, yeah (Ah yeah, yeah, yeah) Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah, yeah Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah, yeah They can say whatever I’m a do whatever No pain is forever Yup, you know this Tougher than a lion Ain’t no need in tryin’ I live where the sky ends Yup, you know this Never lyin’, truth teller

No fear, and while you getting your cry on I’m getting my fly on Sincere, I see you aiming at my pedastal I betta let ya’ know

Chorus

That I, I, I, I’m so hard Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m so hard That I, I, I, I’m so hard Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m so hard That I, I, I, I’m so hard Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m so hard So hard, so hard, so hard, so hard Ah yeah, yeah, yeah That Rihanna reign just won’t let up Ah yeah, yeah, yeah

Feb

Song: Hard

That Rihanna reign just won’t let up Ah yeah, yeah, yeah That Rihanna reign just won’t let up So hard, so hard, so hard, so hard

up on me like that (all on me like that) Yeah I see you aiming at my pedastal So I think I gotta let ya’ know

All up on it Know you wanna clone it Ain’t like me That chick to phoney Ride this beat, beat, beat like a pony Meet me at the top (top, top) Gettin’ lonely

Chorus

Who think they test me now Run through your town Ill shut it down Brilliant, resilient Fan mail from 27 million

Jeezy

And I want it all It’s gonna take more than that Hope that ain’t all you got I need it all The money, the fame, the cars, the clothes I can’t just let you run

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you keep it sure man lemme lemme see you keep it sure man lemme lemme see you keep it sure man lemme lemme see you keep it sure ladies lemme see you wine down low ladies lemme see you wine down low ladies lemme see you wine down low down low, down low, down low, down low

Go hard or go home Back to your residence Soon the red dogs will give the block back to the presidents I used to run my own block like Obama did You ain’t gotta believe me, go ask my momma then You couldn’t even come in my room it smelled like a kilo Looked like me and two of my boys playing casino Trying to sell they peeping my bag they can’t afford it Tell ‘em to give me back my swag They tryin’ to clone me See my Louis tux, Louis flag, Louis frames, Louis belt What that make me Louis mane?

I’m in an all white party wearin’ all black With my new black watch call it the heart attack Cardiac arrest, cardiac a wrist Yeah, they say they’re hard They ain’t hard as this Hard! The one word describes me If I wasn’t doin’ this You know where I be, too hard Where dem girls talkin’ trash Where dem girls talkin’ trash Where they at, where they at, where they at? Where dem bloggers at Where dem bloggers at Where they at, where they at, where they at? Where your lighters at Where your lighters at Where they at, where they at, where they at? So hard, so hard, so hard, so hard


Too hot for T.V.

STAR STATS

Gucci Mane’s Hot Streak Gucci Mane (Born Radric Davis) is getting a real taste of stardom having been voted No. 6 on MTV’s on MTV’s hip-hop top 10 kings of ‘09. With his muddy Southern drawl, gaudy jewelry, his own humorous slang such as “burrr” the 29 year old ATL native been living heavily off the love he gets from the streets. Mane grew up in a poor neighbourhood and he says it’s contributed a lot to the man that he is. “It taught me that you gotta have your crew, don’t put yourself in harm’s way, if you’re a street dude and want any kind of credibility, don’t put yourself under the mercy of anybody else. Always

watch your back; when I was fourteen I got a tattoo of an eye on the back of my neck, so I could say I was always watchin’ my back.” Mane has overcome murder and drug charges to still make it to stardom. Since reveling in controversy over a beef with fellow Atlanta rapper, Young Jeezy and beating an attempted murder charge that landed him behind bars for a short period of time, Mane has got himself clean and signed to major player, Altantic Record. He’s been flooding the airwaves, receiving great looks alongside mainstream darlings Mariah Carey (‘Obsessed’ remix), Omarion (‘I Get It In’), Black Eyed Peas

Gucci Mane has finally arrived

(‘Boom Boom Pow’ remix) Busta Rhymes (‘Hustla’s Anthem’ remix) and Mario( ‘Break Up’). His single ‘Wasted’ featuring Plies, made it to the top 10 of the Billboard R&B and hip-hop charts.

Gucci: “Always watch your back”

Feb

Gucci Mane’s character and personality on the mic are evident in his lyrics. “Now baby girl done dumped me, she no longer wants me/ I’m no longer hired, she says that I’ve been fired/ Onto the next one, more fish in the sea/ Girls are like

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buses: Miss one, next 15, one’s comin’ (from ‘Break Up’) Nothing is going to derail Gucci’s breakthrough year. He’s clearly shown that

he can find the balance between the charts and the trap. Then there’s that album that’s just about guaranteed to put him in the conversation for the 2010 Hottest MCs list.

Watch out for Gucci in 2010


teentainment at its best.

Teentaiment at its best

Check out whats been happening on the school scene Pg 38.......Funkie Board Pg 39.......Ed’s Head

SNIPER

High Skool Love Guide In honour of the season for the lovey dovey, the Sniper would like to assist his faithful followers in finding love or at the very least a perfect date for Vals especially rubbles as they join the high skool fraternity and to offer a guide map on where to find love to predators waiting to ponyoka na fresha. Finding the perfect significant runs deeper than good looks and a pretty face, character and personality will determine whether you’re the perfect match. So feast your eyes on ‘The Sniper’s High Skool Love Guide’ based on a true story (from my countless undercover trotting on the high skool scene). A certified menu on what to expect when you’re out fishing for a companion from various skools...

Jahmu Probably the rowdiest characters on the high skool scene, the Jahmu dude thinks he owns the streets. However he is surprisingly down to earth knows and appreciates the hustle and is easily the definition of the life of the party.

St.Gee Majority of

St.Gee honiez are ‘wannabe

barbies’ and pretty high maintenance. So if you can’t afford her then you best stay away from her because she will completely ruin your self esteem.

Buru Buru babes were probably born with more street cred than both T.I. and Lil Wayne combined. They are the perfect dudettes to Jahmu dudes (hint hint) and can be quite rowdy probably because there’s quite a substantial quantity of tomboys in their midst. These chics come attached with a degree in dancing to Ragga music.

Changez Egocentric is too tame a word to describe the Changerian jamaa. He feels quite good about himself and will not fraternize with people he deems to be of a ‘lower

rank’. He has perfected the bad boy persona and has a way with the ladies because he is extremely charming. Be warned; he is also quite the heartbreaker and will ditch any lady at the sight or sound of his first love; rugby.

Quabbz They’ve been labeled names such as wannabe divas and attention seekers but hate them or love them most (if not all) jamaaz want to be associated with them. The Quabberian honie is fun, easy-going, noisy by nature and quite naughty.

Highie The Highie dude always wants to be the alpha male thus the pushing and shoving with Jahmu over street cred. He loves attention especially if it’s from the opposite sex.

Patch Fun loving and rowdy the Patcherian guy

is charming towards the ladies but like Changerians he’ll always put their rugby before their ladies thus the feud between Patch Machine and Mean Maroon.

K.B ( Kisumu Boys) The K.B dude is confident and sure of himself, he’s also left a trail of heartbreaks along the lakeside but deep down what he really cares about is status (read the sports title that is held by Saintz Yala and the choppy title by Maseno).

Awa History has condemned these galz to loneliness their only redeeming quality is that they seem to have taken after the nuns that run their school and are be kind and caring.

Parky Confused and boring, with no outstanding qualities their only

aim in life is to be the perfect companions to Jahmu dudes.

Starch Reputed to be geeky and boring but these dudes have surprised us in recent times. The perfect gentlemen Starcherians have proven that just like in the movies the geek can get the gal. Sometimes.

Statoe Statoe chics are a high quality knock-off of Quabbz and St. Gee trademarks. So if you don’t succees at either two then this is where you should fish from. The Statoe chic loves her food so this is one sure way to her heart.

Meru High School These guys are bornthugs and are perfect partners for those into thug loving (if not for the geographical boundaries they’d make perfect mates for Buru Gee).


Teentaiment at its best

SNIPER

Boma A Bomerian lady enjoys her grub and can only be rivaled by a chic from Statoe. She also comes with all sorts of formal etiquette (including eating with a fork and knife) something that Statoe chics are yet to learn. Her most redeeming quality is her charming nature.

Kiambu High The cool kids of Central (though for I can’t fathom why) take pleasure in being rugged and unkempt

and have a way with the ladies, perhaps it’s because they work very hard not to fit into the typical gentleman stereotype.

Bush Boys Brilliant brains but these dudes fall very very short when it comes to social skills thus the infidelity from their sister school Bush Gee.

Pangoe Pangoe honiez give off the reserved and conservative vibe but don’t be fooled because if you take

a closer look you’ll realize she’s got a wild side that is just waiting to be unleashed. They epitomize the phrase; a lady on the streets but a freak...

Bush Gee These babes pretend they like to keep to themselves (probably to fool Bush Boys into believing that they’re) but true to their name they come with animal instincts

Mac Bee Proud holders of the title Kingpins of

Machakos and its environs, a Mac Bee dude is proud, but he knows how to handle a chic.

Mac Gee Eastern versions of Quabbz, these chics wills go to great lengths for dudes’ attention, then again nobody likes a knockoff.

PB Riruta These galz are in a class of their own (literally), totally conservative and not in the Pangoe way, what you see is what you get.

Madira The Western version of Buru, are loud and are not above being involved in a cat fight for their man thus their drama with Bunyore Gee.

Bunyore Gee These galz are the “read a book in the bus

Feb

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37

while at a funkie” type (Starcherians please fish here)!!

PB Kilungu These chics are inbuilt to be boy crazy (probably in their attempt to upstage the REAL PB); if she digs you then you my guy will be in jamaaheaven.

Kamu (Kamusinga) Believe that they are the Kingpins of Western and come with a bus-load of ego, be prepared for a rollercoaster ride.

Shinerz Bee The Shinerz Bee jamaa knows how to maintain his shine, smooth talking and they love their pick up lines. However they are perfect gentlemen and really know how to spoil their women.


Teentaiment at its best

Funkie board

Cupid On A Rampage Love is in the air this month, be sure to let that special someone know that they are special to you. Check out our guide to this month’s sizzling funkiez....

Funkie

Date

Get your monthly dose of wicked teentainment

FEB

Insyder Feb issue is out!

411

1

Ditchez will be hosting the Nairobi drama zonals. Be sure to rep your school.

Nairobi Drama Zonals

FEB

1-15

Valentine’s Day

Mark your calendars as cupid will be on a rampage.

FEB

14

•Buru Open •Bungoma Boyz Talent day •Miss Choxx

FEB

13-15 FEB

Midi is Here!

20-21

* The Timbaland babes will be hosting their annual B-ball event from the 13th and Valz. * Bungoma Boyz will also be hosting a talent day at their school. * Choxx will be having their annual Miss Choxx pageant.

This is the first midi of the year so make good use it

P.B Kilungu will have their annual Miss P.B Kilungu. Be there to find out who will take home the tiara

FEB

Miss P.B Kilungu

Freshers will be making their debut on the high skool scene so give them a warm welcome strictly no monolization.

27

Junkie Lentheric Wishes all teeniez a Happy Valentine’s N F eobv

22 00 01 0 9

38 38


Teentaiment at its best

Ed’s head

Love Mistakes Keeping You Single My mail box is filled with letters from chics asking for advice on how to find a guy or how to keep a guy...blah blah blah, all because of what I’ve chosen to label as the ‘Valentine’s rush’. Now I’ve decided to kill many birds with one stone, so before you get to keeping a dude you have to understand why you can’t actually get one or keep one long enough to have a great relationship.

Mistake 1: Being Picky You complain about being single but every time a guy asks you out, you’re always moaning to your pals about how he’s not good enough for you and how he doesn’t fit your criteria. Unless you’re looking for a husband, guys hate it when you make them feel like they are on a job interview. The Fix: It’s ok to have standards but remember don’t judge a book by its cover and all that glitters is not always gold. So relax, love is a journey that requires taking chances on someone.

Vince Vaugn

John Meyer

Gerald Butler

Jeniffer Aniston ha dated so many guys post Brad Pitt

Mistake 3: Too Serious Too Soon

Rihanna got too serious too soon with new boyfie Matt Kemps

You’re not a serial dater but as soon as you like a jamaa, you’ve already pictured walking down the aisle with him and you’ve even picked out names for your kids. That right there is how to lose a guy in ten seconds. The Fix: The thing about jamaaz is that they love the thrill of the chase, if you’re too easy a chase then the appeal will wear off soon. So make him work for your love, even if you’re head over heels in love with him keep him guessing for a while.

Mistake 4: Siamese-Syndrome Love is not a leash just because you’re in a relationship it doesn’t mean that you should be together24/7! It also doesn’t mean that you should always like the same things. The Fix: Give the guy some breathing space, it doesn’t mean that he loves you any less if he sometimes picks hanging out with his pals over spending time with you.

Mistake 5: Emotional Cheating The only male best friend you can have is your dude. Remember the phrase men are dogs, well like dogs no dude wants another dawg pissing over his territory. The Fix: Other than your dude your only other best friend can only be a chic. Capische?

Mistake 6: Little Miss. Can Do No Wrong

r Paris Hilton is a serial date

Love is not a competition, love is humble, so be prepared to eat the humble pie once in a while. No dude wants to be with a chic who crushes his ego and makes him feel less like a man. The Fix: You’re only human you make mistakes so you don’t always have to be right all the time.

Mistake 7: Bad Boy Syndrome

Mistake 2: The Serial Dater If you’re relationship status update on Facebook always reads ‘In a relationship’ (with Tom, then Dick, then Harry (Catch the drift?) then you’re a crowned serial dater. You love fast-forwarding relationships with jamaaz to the exclusive boyfriend-galfriend stage, and you’ve probably been in more relationships than you’re actual age. The Fix: Being single has never killed anyone; it doesn’t mean that you’ll be alone. Try becoming friends with these dudes first then work towards building a relationship because a relationship built so fast will fall apart just as fast!

Feb

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All chics secretly love bad boys even if they won’t admit it. Forbidden fruit is not always so sweet. The Fix: Get it through your head that unlike in the movies and mushy soaps you won’t be the one who changes him into a better man. Ed Tha Dude Cassie and Ciara exhibit classic examples of Bad Boy syndrome

39


WHAT EVERY GAL NEEDS

What every gal needs

Pink Diary: Find out what the Galz are up to Pg 42-43.....Street Style Pg 46..........Strictly Siz Pg 48..........Superchic

HOROSCOPES

Aquarius, Time To Prioritize Love AQUARIUS (January 20 -February 18) You’ll be in great shape and will offload all accumulated tension, so try not to take minor misunderstandings too personally. Your desire to prioritize a love

relationship deepens.

same wavelength.

PISCES (February 19 -March 20)

ARIES (March 21 -April 19)

You’ll be seductive, kind, charismatic and charm all those in your midst. You’ll go out with someone with whom you are on the

Keep up your good spirit as those around you will appreciate your loyalty and trust you. Social outings will make you smile.

TAURUS (April 20 -May 20) You’ll give in too much and this means others could well take advantage of you. Try to earn more respect. Stay calm when faced with unexpected events.

GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) Your enthusiasm will be infectious to everyone around you. You’ll be charismatic and will win over you’re a secret admirer with your gentle ways. Rihanna Born February 18th 1988 Aquarius enjoy their freedom, and are often impatient or stubborn.

CANCER (June 21 -July 22) Try not to be too insistent

with others or you could end up being accused of being selfish. Your charm can help you avoid criticism but be careful as it may not always be easy.

LEO (July 23 -August 22) You’ll suffer a minor failure and you’ll have to take responsibility for your own actions. Try not to be edgy as your need to excel will irritate others.

VIRGO (August 23 -September 22) The opportunity you’ve been waiting for has arrived. An increase in your self - confidence means that you are in a a better position to express yourself. Be ready.

LIBRA (September 23 -October 22) You’ll have heaps of energy and a great desire to keep busy. This will

Hoity Toitty Wishes all teeniez a Happy Valentine’s Feb

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40

help you find out what’s bothering your significant other.

SCORPIO (October 23 -November 21) You’ll be very effective at showing your significant other just how much you love him/her. Weigh up all your opportunities and grab them as they come.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 -December 21) Your self confidence will help your relationship with others. You’ll also find a way to improve communication with your loved one.

CAPRICON (December 22 -January 19) You’ll tend not to boast, even when you achieve commendable things. There may just be a future for you and that special someone.


What every gal needs

GAL talk

Never Been Kissed

Hi Big Siz, I know this sounds silly but my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for the last four months and we’ve never been physical. I’ve never been kissed before and we agreed that to make it special our/ my first kiss should be on Valentine’s Day. I’m really scared I’ll suck at it. Some few tips please? Ivy

Hi Ivy, It is perfectly normal to feel anxious especially since this is a very special experience for you. Don’t feel pressured into going through with it, if you’re not sure yet, then it’s ok to wait. But if you are, relax because the thing about kissing is that there is really no formula. Communication is the key, talk to your boyfriend about it and you’ll find that it will make you feel better and more confident, that way you can

boys who are attracted to them except me and this is really making me feel bad. I’ve tried dieting but nothing seems to work. Angel

W’sup gal, Lots of girls go through the body image issues that you are experiencing, so it’s pretty normal however it’s how you deal with it that counts. As you grow older your body develops and this comes with lots of unique changes, for instance if you were slender you may become more curvy, get pimples, grow taller e.t.c. These changes usually take a lot of getting used to and it starts by accepting, appreciating and loving your body just the way it is and realising that you’re unique because until you do no one else will. Here’s how to start on the journey that’s growing up, take a really good look at yourself in the mirror, identify what it is you like about your body

back on when you stop the diet. Gaining weight doesn’t make you less pretty or unattractive, so eat healthy and remember true beauty comes from within. Alwayz, Big Siz

Hi Big Siz, I’m really scared because I haven’t had my period for two months now. I had sex with my boyfriend over the holiday and we used protection. I’ve taken pregnancy tests and they are all negative. Please help me because I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m too scared to ask for help? Monica Hey Small Siz, Missing your period can be worrying, especially if you usually receive your period regularly. From what you’ve told me, there’s no reason to think that you are pregnant, because you used protection in the proper manner and the pregnancy test results have all been negative.

“As you grow older your body develops and this comes with lots of unique changes” set a pace that’s comfortable for you. Wish you all the best in your first kiss!!!! Big Siz Hi Big Siz, Please help me. I’m in form two and I feel really ugly. I look back at photos of myself and I was much prettier and thinner. All my friends have

and what it is that you don’t and remember nobody is perfect. Build upon your strong points and emphasise them, as for what you don’t like camouflage these by dressing in clothes that flatter your best features. Diets are a shortcut that will backfire as all the weight will pile

Feb

Nevertheless there are various factors that can affect your menstrual cycle; 1. Some gals naturally have irregular periods ( they don’t receive their periods every month and can even go for more than two months) 2. If you’re

2 0 1 0

41

experiencing anxiety or undergoing a stressful time in your life; it is highly likely you’re your menstrual cycle might be affected. 3. Usually after a girl’s first period the menstrual cycle may be irregular for some time. It can take up to about 3 years for the cycle to become regular. 4. Although low body weight is a common cause of missed or irregular periods, obesity can also cause menstrual problems. 5. Eating disorders, such as anorexia (persistent loss of appetite) or bulimia (a condition in which one uses laxatives or selfinduced vomiting to reduce weight); can affect the menstrual cycle. 6. Missed periods are common in athletes due to increased exercise. 7. Some illnesses such as diabetes can cause changes in a woman’s menstrual cycle. 8. Environmental changes can also affect your menstrual cycle and result in an irregular cycle. 9. Medication such as contraceptive pills can cause lighter, less frequent, more frequent, skipped periods or no periods at all. However it is important that you seek medical attention in order to properly understand what made you miss

your periods this way you can avoid unwanted complications. Yours, Big Siz Hi Big Siz, I used to date this guy and when we were dating he became really close with my two best friends. Thing is we broke up and I asked them to stop hanging out with him because it would be awkward and they agreed. I found out that they’ve been hanging out with him and one of them is apparently dating him behind my back. I feel very betrayed because she’s supposed to be my best friend. Michelle Siz, Friendships can sometimes be very complicated and I totally understand where you are coming from. It’s natural to feel betrayed because you feel that the unspoken code of honour between galfriends stating you can’t date your friends ex has been broken. However the truth is emotions can’t always be controlled like a light switch so what you need to decide is whether your friendship is worth saving. First things first work out how you feel, why are you angry? Can you still remain friends with her? Then approach your friend and tell how you feel, hear her side of the story and take it from there. Remember good friends are hard to find and we can’t make people do what they don’t want to.


What every gal needs

STREET STYLE

Te e - U p !

Show your swag in the hottest fashion accessories; funky tees. You can wear your funky tee on a casual day and even for a glammed-up look. It’s all about how you wear and accessorize them. Cr Ks oss Id hs. Gra en 21 ff it tit y 00 ti T

ee

Yellow Tee Kshs. 600 Mr Price

Bangle Set Kshs. 1000 Mr Price

es nglass Red Su 0 5 2 . Kshs Stalls Town

Long Skirt Kshs. 600 Toi Market Denim Mini-skirt Kshs. 100 Toi Market

Model’s Name High School Hottest Honie Jackie, 18yrs Ex-Can Gathii Gals

Accessories Make the T-Shirt Accessories add punch to your outfit and dress it up a little.

Ba K lle M shs t Sh rP . o ric 18 es e 00

Pair With the Perfect Pair

Your jeans are going to either make or break your tee-look. You can also wear tees with skirts, ses. shorts or layer them with dres

Yellow Earrings Kshs. 50 Town Stalls

Do you want to be an Insyder Street Style Model? All you have to do is email a recent snapshot of yourself to yuaholla@theinsyder.com or join our 42 page The Insyder Magazine and post a photo2 of0yourself 1 0 on the wallpage with the title ‘iModel’ and include Your name, Age and School.

Feb

fan


What every gal needs

Marvin Cap Kshs. 1500 Identity

Funky Graffitti Tee Kshs. 2200 Identity

Model’s Name Wagio, 17 yrs

Black Denim Pencil Skirt Kshs. 2500 Identity

Grey Tee Kshs. 600 Mr Price

Purple Velvet Heels Kshs. 2800 Mr Price

Black Doll Shoes Kshs. 300 Toi Market

Avoid Ironic Sayings

Stay away from shirts that are overly ironic or rife with obscene sayings.

Pink Tee Kshs. 800 Mr Price

Blue Flats Shoes Kshs. 500 Toi Market

This Tee has the right balance when it comes to cool sayings!

Feb

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43


What every gal needs

CORPORATE CHIC

Charging To The Top Does your job need any special skills? Other than basic PR, one needs to have serious marketing skills, top notch communication skills, integrity, innovation and competence. What high skool did you go to and what were you like in high skool? (Laughs) I was in Choxx (Limuru Girls) then I transferred to St. Lucy’s Kiriri. I was naughty and I loved funkiez, both innings and outings. I had my fun but I knew when to keep it under wraps and concentrate on my studies.

Kate Mwangi at work

Kate Mwangi has proven that for someone her age she is definitely a force to be reckoned with. At only 23, her determination and hunger for success is admirable. Kate is the driving force of the wheels behind one of Kenya’s most prestigious sporting events; The Rhino Charge. Gova names: Kate Mwangi Job title: Public Relations Officer at Rhino Ark Charitable Trust and Publications Manager of Arkive Magazine. What exactly does Rhino Ark do? Rhino Ark engages with corporate partners who are committed to solving environmental challenges and assisting the Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS). This includes financing protective fences around the salient areas in which wildlife lodges and mobile safari camps operate. Ultimately the aim is to encircle the whole Aberdare Conservation Area with a game proof fence powered with electrification to keep wildlife within the fence, curb illegal log extraction, snaring, poaching of wildlife especially Rhinos and the rare illusive Bongo. We also created the Rhino Charge which is an event to raise charitable donations to keep our objectives alive.

Feb

What does your job at Rhino Ark entail? A lot. Ranging from resource development, administration to liaising with Kenya Forest Services officials but the best part of my job; planning the Rhino Charge. How did you land a position of mega responsibility at such a young age? Truth be told it isn’t a fairy tale story. I sent my CV to the company and started off as an intern in 2008 when I was still in campus. After my internship there was a vacancy and since I had the right qualifications for the job I was absorbed and hired.

Do you have any other interests other than conservation? I know it sounds cliché but I love travelling and meeting new people. I also like sports and I occasionally play basketball and go swimming. I also love the great outdoors. What’s your favorite quote? “It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.” Any advice for teeniez? Don’t let the world drive your life; let your life drive the world. And most importantly keep your options open; don’t restrict yourself by being too rigid because you never know what opportunities might be beckoning.

Is it what you always wanted to do? Not really. Back when I was in high school, my dream was to become a lawyer but things don’t always work according to plan. I’m a very open minded person willing to explore new things so after clearing school and gaining more exposure I came across an ad for University of Nairobi’s School of Journalism. After much thought I decided to enroll because I felt that the career path fit better with my personality than law would. I majored in Public Relations and that’s how I ended up in this field. Kate is always willing to explore new things

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What every gal needs

GUY TALK

Is He An Addict? Hi Biggie, My pal and I started

even if he’s avoiding

Walapa Bro,

figure and work on

you can’t force your

you. Provide him with

No one loves being

getting better friends.

galfriend to forgive you.

hanging out with this

the right information

made fun of and

All the best,

click last holz and

on drug abuse to help

especially by their

Biggie

I know it’s very

we kinda did some

him make an informed

friends. It’s totally

Hi Biggie,

frustrating but you

drugs but I was only

decision, send him

understandable that

I recently said some

also need to internalize

experimenting and

texts, emails even try

you punched one of

very nasty things to

your actions and

them out of anger

my galfriend. I have

address; why did you say the nasty things

I’ve stopped. I found

calling him. If all else

out that my friend

fails please approach

but violence is never

tried apologising to

hasn’t and he’s even

his parents or a trusted

the solution to any

her but she doesn’t

that you said to her?

been trying harder

adult and share your

problem. You my

want to hear me out.

How must it have

stuff. I’ve tried

concerns because at

friend need to review

I really love this girl

made her feel? How

warning him but he

the end of the day you

the kind of people

and I know that I was

will you make amends and show her that you

won’t listen and he’s

all care about his well

you associate yourself

mean to her and also

even avoiding me. I’m

being and his future.

with and call friends

that I really hurt her

didn’t mean any of the

worried he might be

Always,

because friends are

feelings. How can I

nasty things you said?

an addict. How can I

Biggie

supposed to build you

make it right?

How will you ensure

as a person and not

Benja

that it never happens

help him? Edu Niaje Edu,

again?

demean you.

Hi Biggie, My friends are

The only reason these

Benja,

always making fun of

guys want to beat you

Everyone says stuff

At this point you should give her the

Big up for saying no to

time she needs to get

drugs and especially

over the hurt because

for being concerned about your pal. You should never have experimented with the drugs in the first place because it’s very easy to fall into the trap

“Provide him with the right information on drug abuse to help him make an informed decision”

the truth is she has a right to choose what she feels is good for her. Even if you love her, if she decides to call it off, you have no option but to respect her decision.

that is drug addiction

Always,

and to become dependent on drugs

everything I do and

to the point that you

sometimes bully me.

can’t function without

One of them recently

them.

said something

Drug addiction

mean about me and I

can cause a lot of

punched him now they

destruction in a

all want to beat me

person’s life so don’t

up. What should I do?

give up on your friend

Jimmy

Feb

up is because they feel

they don’t mean

that you embarrassed

at times but what

one of them by

we all forget is that

punching him, but

our actions have

this is what they have

consequences and we

been doing to you. My

can sometimes hurt

advice is for you to

those who are closest

stop hanging out with

to us the most. As

these guys, report their much as you regret threats to an authority the things you said

2 0 1 0

45

Biggie Hit me up on Facebook if you want to chat about issues and problems that are affecting you. Search: one 2oneyouthhotline group on Facebook and join.


What every gal needs

STRICTLY SIZ

Frenemies

If you’ve ever wondered whether one of your “galz” is really your friend or enemy, then you have a case of the frenemy on your hands. Frenemy relationships are toxic “friendships” that fall short of the definition of the word friend and are often fuelled by jealousy and competition. They are more popular amongst us girls because we think that we should be friends with everyone even when we don’t like the person. Celeb frenemies include Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Blair and Serena (Gossip girl) and pretty much most of Hollywood.

them hoping that they’ll change and become better friends, you’re better off without them. You can’t always be BFF’s with everybody. 5. Someone who makes nasty comments about your appearance and belittles your achievements.

Here’s how to spot a frenemy... 1. You’re friends only because it’s easier than not being friends with them. More often than not they know intimate details that you’d rather not make public. 2. Someone who wronged you yet you claim to have forgiven, you still have

90210’s Annie and Naomi

3. You know the person talks about you behind your back, saying nasty things when you’re not there and they’ve even gone as far as betraying your trust (stealing boyfriends falls under this one).

Gossip Girl’s Blair and Serena

One Tree Hill’s Peyton and Brooke

Greek’s Rebecca and Casey

angry feelings towards them, so you force yourself to smile even if you can’t stand them.

4. When you seem to be doing all the giving and the ‘friend’ is doing the taking. She always calls you when she needs help but is conveniently never around to offer it when you need it. Remember frenemies are worse than enemies. As much as we love to hate

Ugly Betty’s Amanda and Betty

How to deal with frenemies... Remember that frenemies are worse than enemies. As much as we love to hate them hoping that they’ll change and become better friends, you’re better off without them. You can’t always be BFF’s with everybody. You do yourself a disservice (not to mention set yourself up for more abuse) by analyzing interactions, questioning whether or not you are being too sensitive or making excuses for why a person behaves the way they do. If you feel like you’ve just received an emotional kick in the gut, then you probably have just received an emotional kick in the gut. No analysis needed! Once you smell the toxic scent cut them loose. This however is not a free pass for a cat fight, stay out of the ring. Hold back the insulting jabs and keep your inner gossipmonger under lock and key. Let things end quietly.

Highlands Mineral Water Company Limited established in 1954 is one of the pioneers of the soft drinks industry in Kenya. A reputation of high quality soft drinks spanning over half a century, Highlands offers Bottled Drinking Water, certified by the KBS Diamond Mark of Quality. Highlands quality drinks also include, Natural and fruit flavoured Cordials and Ready to Drinks in Orange, Pineapple, Tropical, Lemon, Strawberry and Blackcurrant flavours. Highlands Light Drinks are Sugar Free and Suitable for Diabetics too. Every year the Diabetes Walk participants are supported by Highlands with free water. Highlands has been the official water for ‘The Lewa Marathon’ and ‘The Rhino Charge’ since their inception. Safari Rallies in Kenya and other events are also supported by Highlands. Highlands is committed to not only provide quality drinks, but also giving back to the community from their thriving enterprise. Highlands, an enviable reputation for customer satisfaction and your safest travelling companion anywhere you go. 46

2 0 1 0 NATURALLY F eHIGHLANDS… b

REFRESHING!


Tha Teeniez Voice!

www.theinsyder.com Teenwise Media Limited Publisher iMC Tamima Ibrahim

Editorial Kru

Nelson ‘Sly’ Isiye, Maureen Kask, Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive

Design & Layout Thomas Mwangi

Marketing Team Carol Kariungi Anne Kigathi

Departments

Ann Ngigi Corporate Affairs Jimmy Mumina Distribution Thomas Mwangi Design Distribution Nation Courier Printer Colourprint Ltd

Directors

Ann Ngigi • Adam Nyakundi Ngaruiya Githegi

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COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Ltd. All rights reserved. The Insyder is published once a month. Contributions are most welcome and must be accompanied by stamped self-addressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The Editor reserves the right to

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edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the editors and publishers of The Insyder.


What every gal needs

SUPER CHIC

A Born Thespian Super confident and outspoken Carol Esther Wambui loves life and tries to live it up every day. “I’m a happy-go-lucky gal who loves being the centre of attention” She laughs. This bubbly 404 from Jabbz (Kijabe girls) is the chairlady of her school’s drama club and a member of the journa club. Her

coveted position as the drama club’s chairlady requires Carol to work hand in hand with the patron in coming up with themes for plays and other creative aspects of the club. “I became a member of the drama club when I was still a fresher something that was unheard of at the time and it made me quite popular,” she says Her tenure as the drama club chairlady was a successful one as she has captained the force that elevated Jabbz’s drama club to the national level. She also participated in last year’s music fests and made it to the natioz in Mombasa.

school’s musical and what do you know? I got picked and by some miracle I sung my way to the natioz! I still can’t believe what a success it was. It’s too bad I hadn’t tried out earlier and now I don’t think I’ll get a chance to participate in this year’s music fests because I’ll be hitting the books like crazy’ She says. However she’s quick to admit that she isn’t the best scholar in her class but always gives it her best and always tries to remain positive. She hopes to score exemplary grades in her K.C.S.E exams because she believes that performing well in school is the ultimate achievement and reward for spending four years in high school.

pursue her natural about it and focus on talent as an actress and the moves coz we’re singer. pretty good and we always perform during So what does this the youth ministry.” superchic get up to when she’s not Carol also loves handling her biz in swimming and playing school? Carol has her badminton which she own church based indulges in during the dance group called holz. Bubbly, endearing S.T.A.B.Z. and confident, “I know the name is a Carol is a delight to bit curious but we’re anyone she meets; working on it. It’s she reckons that her actually the initials peers appreciate her of all our names. Star jolly nature and find (Esther), Terry, Anne, her easy to get a long Becky and Zawadi ’ with. After interviewing her, we couldn’t agree But when you see us more. move you’ll forget

After school she hopes to pursue a degree in the arts and hopefully Carol and her supportive pals

Do you think you display the attributes of a FAY Confidence chic or do you know anyone who deserves this title? All you have to do is write in to us and tell us why you deserve to be in this column. Fill in the your details and attach this entry form and send it to BOX 51634, 00200, Nairobi and you could be a winner. name............................... school...................age..........................

‘I had always thought I wasn’t much of a singer but I tried out for a slot in our

mobile no.........................e-mail..................................................

This

month’s winner is

Esther Wambui

Feb

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