CONTENTS Who’s the most promising act of 2010?
What’s Sizzling This Month
Cover Story
Funkie-licious TV (FTV) Sniper
High Skool Drama! Exposed pg 30
On the prowl: Season 1 pg 36
Chronicles 254 Ever wonder KASK
Redsan’s Versatility album is on point, D’banj’s music is cool and Ding Dong is really coming up
pg 4
SLY
Nonini’s ‘The Godfather of Genge’ album is pretty cool. I also like Jamaica’s Sasha and Spice
Pink Diary Ed’s Head
T-9 Playa Prezident
Move Past The Friends Zone pg 12
Things Your Boyfriend Won’tTell You pg 39
ON THE COVER: Jackie, Kevin, Nelson, Ruhette
Dressed by: Mr Price THOME Calif’s Mejja looks very promising and QQ is definitely one to watch
JIMMIE Nons and Juliani are killing it and Rihanna’s Rated R album is the doppest!
The iMC’s Coolest March Moments The Insyder Slam Jam Sizzlin action & Entertainment
Esther Arunga Saga
So not cool
The struggle continues
Holz are almost here!!
So not co ol
FPE Corruption Scandal
Drama Festivals
Tamima
Hang in there!
l coo es Tr
Creepy!
Chaguo La Teeniez Awards The countdown begins
Making The Cover
The Insyder Offices:
Make-up by ALEX GAKUMO, Vera Beauty College
Hi! Can you believe it’s March already? First term has proven to be quite the most eventful term notably; Changez’ Mean Maroon and Patch shocking exit from the Impala Floodiez to M.F.A’s historic debut to the tournament and now as we head deeper into the term the temperature is rising as skools Main Feature
Cover Story hit all the hottest battle it out for supremacy at the drama fests.We - Theon Best funkiez in and around Nai to get you M.O.G the scoop thisOfmonth’s Both Worlds cover story; High Skool Drama! It’s sleazy and will blow you away, but as you take in the shocking scandal that is now common place in most high skools take a moment to reflect on your own life because it may just be about you.Take control of your life because it’s better to have regrets on not doing what people wanted you to; than regretting not taking a stand and wondering what your life could have been. Enjoy! iMC
Photography: Emmanuel Jambo
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
a l l o H a Yu with
If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill...
Feb Cover Rocks! We’re Back!
Hi, Thanks for putting Tero on last month’s cover she rocks! Now that was a sizzling cover. I’ve always had a major crush on her and I really appreciated the Feb issue. Keep em’ coming Insyder! Cay-vo (304) Patc
Sup i-Qru? It’s been long since you hit our school so we’re breaking the hiatus and St.Gee hotties are now ready to take over the funky scene again. We’re planning a talent day soon (most probably next term) and we would just LOVE to have you help us out with it if the admin gives us the green light so we hope you’ll check us out! Roxxy & Sienna (404) Venus house St.Gee Hi Galz, It’s a date. Be sure to send us an official invitation letter from your admin! iMC
I’ve Got Talent…. Vipi, This is Larry Onyango from of Orero boyz. Your mag is just the dopest. I’m really into drawing and I know I got skillz check out one of my pics and tell me of what you think. I hope you’ll consider having a column for teeniez who like to draw. Larry Onyango (304) Orero (Kops) Churchill
Hi Larry, s. Keep sending in You sure have some mad skill ure them. feat l we’l and gs win dra e thos iMC
The Insyder February Issue 2010
This Is An Encore
Vipi Insyder, I’d like to congratulate you on the great job you’re doing entertaining teeniez. This is an encore letter to Brenda Nyawara’s. She wrote in last month suggesting that you use your influence over teeniez to do greater things and I’m totally down for that. You could make a difference in so many aspects of the Kenyan youth lifestyle. Will you be co-sponsoring FAL career fair this year? If so, please hit our school again. Anjalo .M. (304) BOMA Hi, We’ll definitely put it on our to-do list. iMC
Holla @
Us! to share or simply Got a point to make, opinion come to the right ’ve You ? rave wonna rant and that gives all spot; Yua Holla is the platform nity to share ortu readers of The Insyder the opp about any just on ghts and express their thou on: up us Hit . sun the er topic und yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002 Online: www.theinsyder.com
slang’r Mtiech corne Origin: Derived from the word mtaa or
mtaani; coined in the environs of Pango.
Meaning: Home
As used in a sentence
1. Nataka kuenda mtiech mapema niwatch Tero kwa Str8 Up. 2. Leo sitoki mtiech, mkanya ameleta ma-pressure!
The Write Choice.
a l l o H a Yu with
Just As Good Aje Insyder, Kudos on the fab job you’re doing. Last year, Embu was lucky enough to host the sports and drama natioz. Peeps here were excited to see The Insyder giving up-state schools max coverage and we all felt proud. We hope that this year, you wont mind coming back to check out the action especially in our school. Matei Kimeu Moi ‘Mbich.’ Kimeu, You’re invite has been accepted, feel free to send in pics and skool vibe from Embu. iMC
Were we ripped off? Vipi, numero uno teen magazine The Insyder is undoubtedly the n tu moja, why wasn’t Saints in Kenya but niko na complai T award? We’re one of the best Yala nominated for any CHA T though we’ve never won a CHA schools in Nyanza provie and well ly real did we r, ed. Last yea award at least we get nominat like we deserved a slot in feel I ic. mus and ma in rudge, dra k ed for our skool waaaaaay bac one category because we root chic r othe of lot a did e out and so before the nominations cam skools. Felix Duncan (404) Saints Yala Felix, nominees were selected by Compe ni compe roho safi. All of rally more guys (in and out teeniez countrywide, next time ? hard feelings Nyanza) to vote for you. No iMC
I’m your gal! Hi! heard you were looking for Your mag is just the bomb! I r gal! I’m the ultimate CHAT a CHAT fanatic. Well, I’m you g the awards ever since I was fanatic and I’ve been attendin of letters justifying why I le in prima. I’ve sent you a coup enough to let me win. It you should win I hope they touched just so pleeeeez look into it. But would really mean a lot to me a! Holl re can I get advance tickoz? incase I don’t get to win whe (Crossing my fingers here) Trina Murugi (404) P.B Kilungu Hi Gal, use you and three of your Luck must be on your side beca , see you there! guo friends are on your way to Cha iMC
Poets Platform
The Insyder Magazine
Like a local internet The Insyder magazine is packed With modern world happenings
And answers that work Answers to the teeniez questions It acts as a road to solutions Solutions to loads of youth problems As one without a single problem Is out of the life game And the monthly Insyder Magazine Acting as a local internet And a road to solutions Brings the youths back to the game.
Edwin Karue They don’t understand I’m confused about life it seems like no one understands me especially my parents they try to run my life but they don’t understand my life’s my own to run they can’t run it it seems we live in two different worlds at two different times they should know no matter how much they try to control my life I’ll always rebel I don’t care about the punishment because they can’t take away my freedom, hope, dreams, memories and people I love ever. I wish they would understand they never had to go through the problems us teeniez are going through now they would never understand back then there weren’t as many problems as we teeniez face today they just simply don’t understand us teens
Dedicated to: All Troubled Teens Joan Rogo (404)
Your local Inteenet Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........Celeb Scene Pg 10.......Action Reaction Pg 12.......Mchogwano
EVER WONDER 14.
21. Was Taylor Swift’s
mtumba now?
‘Fearless’ really the
Has Mariga officially
Mr. Lenny, Bamboo,
Album of the year, or
dethroned Dennis
and Kantai just to
should that nod have
Oliech as Kenya’s
make sure they are
gone to Beyonce?
20.
football king?
someone please call
13.
still alive?
Don’t you just adore
Ugandan artists a
artists like Gin & Juice,
Mrs. Tiger Woods and
wee bit too ‘hood’
Johnny Cash, The
Mrs. Erica Wainaina
with their beef and
Dream and Soulja Boy
for pulling a Hillary
glamorous lifestyles?
is Snoop Dogg going
Clinton and sticking
5. And does Bebe
through a musical
by their men?
‘mid life’ crisis?
19.
Cool honestly believe
all the mutterings of a
he’ll win the law suit
Has 50 Cent officially
sequel to Shuga will
against ‘The Pearl of
made a successful
Valerie Kimani still
Africa’?
softer come-back?
18.
be in the cast?
11. Why
4. Can KISS
TV please learn from
Isn’t Nicky Minaj’s
is Papa Shirandula’s
KISS 100 FM that just
50,000 USD reward
daughter Naliaka
because we like a
money for her missing
always studying for
song/gossip we don’t
teddy bear just
her final exams in
want to hear it over
10.
thirty times in one
ridiculous?
17. With
every episode?
Can Alpha please be
hour?
don’t you think Neyo
the first TPF winner
write-offs will it take
and Jeezy need to keep
to actually follow
before Rush Hour’s
their damn hats on?
through with musical
Shaffie Weru gets a
16. Aren’t you tired of
success?
artists declaring that
about time KTN’s
long will it take for
they’ll be dropping
Hassan Jumaaaaaaaa
the bootleg version of Rihanna’s latest hair-
chauffeur?
2.
a new album when
drops the name elongation stunt?
a single song off the
Doesn’t Miss thang
1. Are you doing QQ’s
album they already
Sheila Mwanyigah,
‘Skip to my Lou’ &
look younger than
‘Ruum Ram’ dances
and Tommy Hilfiger
ever in the new Abbas
yet?
clothing considered
Chappaa remix?
have?
15. Are Fubu
Feb
do to hit Nai streets?
7. Can 2 0 1 0
14
How
you don’t even know
8.
17
3. How many car
those funny heads
9. Isn’t it
19
6. Aren’t
After collaboz with
12. With
18
4
20
Dettol Cool N.I.S Basketball Toournament Game recognize game was definitely the theme at the Dettol N.I.S B-Ball Tournament as skools battled it out for the Championship Title. N.I.S won the boyz title while I.S.K won the galz. Check out the action packed pics...
The N.I.S basketball tournament under way
Statoe’s b-ball team warms up as Changez and Hospital Hill watch the game
N.I.S b-ball team practice their hoop shots before the game
The crowd were hooked to the action on the court
St. Gee’s b-ball team up their defence against an Austin’s assault
Domus Mariae cats strategizing before their game
I.S.K scores past St.Gee’s defense
I.S.K players camping in Mangu’s D during their match
Hospital Hill’s point guard aims for the basket moments before the buzzer goes off
Saints vs N.I.S; he jumps, he shoots, he scores!
N.I.S celebrate their home ground win
Dettol Brand Manager Rachel Migwi presents Buru team Captain Georgia Adhiambo with the Ist runners up trophy
Your local Inteenet
CELEB SITE
M-NET FACE OF AFRICA
SCENE AROUND
Miss Diana Nekoye Kenya’s rep to the M-Net face of Africa she didn’t win but we still got mad love for her for making it to the finals.
Shaffie and Smitta smitten were displaying some very questionable behaviour...
MISSING LYRICS
Fill in the blanks for each song and name the artist/s.
Local Song ‘The little things you do ni kama_________ ‘Ya ni changamsha na__________ya jabu Artist:_________________
Clue: She was a member of SEMA
Local Song ‘K.C.S.E najua watu wangu ______________ ‘Na hata kama hauja_____hauwezi jua labda we ndio the future____________ Artist:_________________
Clue: Self proclaimed Genge Godfather
International song They can say_____am a do___________ No pain is _______yup, you know this_______ Artist:_________________
Clue: Good gal gone bad
Solve the problems by doing the math to find out how many artists feature in Abbas’ ‘Chapaa’ remix.
> >
The number of ‘Gyal’ singers
The number of chics in Chit Chat family
= =
Add question 1 and 2 with the one below
>
The number of Pro-Habo members
=
No. of artists featured
Answers: Dhahabu and Furaha. Artist: Pam Mumepita, Pita and Obama. Artist: Nonini Whatever, Whatever and Forever. Artist: Rihanna.
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FAME BY NUMBERS
Answes: Eight
Feb
Performances by Calif’s Miss Size 8 & Raudy who doesn’t seem to mind wearing pink.
6
Your local Inteenet
Feb
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7
Your local Inteenet
MCHONGWANO
Easich Disses...
Easich decided to make their presence felt by telling some skools what they think of them
mna akili ya watu five. Wawili walevi, wawili machizi na mmoja mtapeli. Hatuwatambui!
Galz stop being dimwits (mafala) showing people that you are only worth a pinpop enyewe ndio maana mko chini. We are worth dollars, we take mamaz for expensive things. Try to brush your vibes next time, mko chini!!
HURUMA (Scrapers)
STATOE
A.k.a Scottish galz! You chiqs are so handsome. Hope in future you’ll produce rugby players and boxing longrabes and you’re school name should be changed to Huruma Missionary Boys School.
ST. GEE (St. Jinis)
DITCHEZ (Bitchez)
Naskia nyi ni machopi
Pelekeni mchezo mbali because you don’t fit in with the High Skul Clan you should be labourers at Dagoretti Slaughter House.
JAHMU (Matoast) Ati nowadays mki late asubuhi ni maGully Creepah (duck walk) then you sweat up the class until teachers skyve. Oh, and by the way we don’t engage in hockey stick fights, tuna deal na vita kubwa kama vita za Gaza na Israeli. Hamtuoni!
STAR STATs
Hot Stuff
on a compilation of several yet to be released singles which will also make up his second album. His eponymous debut album ‘Jeremih’ was released in June 2009 and sold about 60,000 copies in its first week alone. He’s also a genius as he graduated from high school
Jeremih
He’s been dubbed as the ‘new Ne-yo’ by BET, at only 21 years old newcomer Jeremih Felton is racing in the major league with powerhouse names such as R-Kelly and Chris Brown. Jeremih’s first two singles ‘Imma Star’ and ‘Birthday
Sex’ have proven to be billboard gold as they have remained on-top of the charts for close to over a year The RNB singer, songwriter and budding record producer is signed to the Def Jam label
at 16 and enrolled for an engineering science program in College but switched to a major in Music Business along the way. Jeremih has been nominated for both MOBO (music of black origin) and AMA (American music awards).
where he is working
Feb
2 0 1 0
8
Statoe’s pin-pop craze
fact finder
Know All The Bases You’ve heard it in the movies but probably never really understood what is really behind that old baseball metaphor about getting to first, second and third base. Here’s a swing at deciphering these all too common phrases.
1st Base This means smooching, with tongue or without.
2nd Base This classifies as heavy petting of body parts which mark you male/ female. If they are being viewed and touched on top/under clothes then you’ve hit 3rd base.
2nd Base This means that friendly hands are placed on other people’s bodies/ body parts, on top or under the clothes.
4th Base This means the obvious; going all the way and having sex. The word shouldn’t make you blush if you’ve scored.
Your local Inteenet
tumechill
My Chill Factor is... MY PALS
BASKETBALL Name: Stephanie Mwangi (304) Age: 17 yrs School: Precious Blood Riruta (PB)
Name: Dan Njuguna (404) Age: 17 yrs School: Kijabe (Jabbzville)
When she’s not busy studying, Steph is either reading The Insyder, dancing to the latest jams with her pals or playing her favourite sport b-ball. She believes in having clean fun and supportive friends who share the same moral values.
Dan from Jabbz is a happy-go lucky kinda guy. He likes playing and watching B-ball and his favorite team is the L.A Lakers. He’s very social and loves having fun but for him that doesn’t translate into engaging in risky sexual behavior.
“Basketball is my first love
“I like having fun and meeting new people. For a dude my age, there are lots of temptations and plenty of pressure to engage in pre-marital sex and other risky behaviour. I know the consequences and I’m not willing to jeopardize my future so I’m waiting for the right time. Luckily my friends are very supportive and respect my decision. I’m proud of that and I hope to continue being someone that they can always look up to” NIMECHILL!
and it helps me unwind when I need to relax. I believe that being in control of my life and taking responsibility for my actions begins now because risky behaviour like underage drinking and pre-marital sex, are not only irresponsible but also against my moral and religious values. I intend to be a journalist in future and I’m glad that my pals don’t try to derail me and accept me for who I am” NIMECHILL!
up on the Steph catching latest issue of The Insyder Mag
Steph loves playing b-ball
ls
s pa Chilling with hi
Are you a tenn who is chilling and proud of it? Make a statement by telling us what your chill factor is and also help other teens to make the right decision. Holla at us at email address: yuaholla@theinsyder.com (ATTN: Tumechill ) or write to us via The Insyder P.O. Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi Feb
2 0 1 0
9
Dan loves the L.A La
ker’s
Your local Inteenet
ACTION REACTION
Adrenaline Fever
N.I.S slam dunk to the finals
NIS (Nairobi International School) B-BALL TOURNAMENT Things spiraled sideways for former tournament champs Buru Galz as they fell to an upbeat I.S.K (International School of Kenya) 16-17 in the N.I.S B-Ball tourna after such a fantastic run from the preliminaries. Captain Georgia Adhiambo (304) and super shot Melisa Akinyi (404), seemed unstoppable and helped Buru beat St. Georges in the semis to secure a spot in the finals. However they met their match as Corlet Minjan and the rest of the I.S.K team halted their match. In the boy’s category, N.I.S retained the champion’s trophy by beating St. Austin’s by a close margin of 2826. Austins seemed to have the upper hand as they demolished the N.I.S 1st team in the semis but seemed to lag down in the finals. They tried to hoist a comeback but by then it was too late; Frank Okello of N.I.S led his team to victory and
simultaneously took home the MVP trophy as well.
CHANGEZ OPEN With close to 30 schools in attendance, some who literally criss-crossed the country to attend (Maseno) mad adrenaline is not enough to describe the action that was Changez Open. Wounded Mean Maroon were clearly on the prowl to avenge their humiliating exit from the Floodlit tournament. The games on the basketball court were completely dominated by Austin’s and the games on the hockey pitch by Friends School
Kamusinga. Buru Gee had the galz b-ball tourna in the bag from the get-go and easily swished past their rivals for L.A High in the semis to take home the trophy. At the hockey finals Friends School Kamusinga emerged victorious over a Bush Bee team in a match that they dominated from the beginning. In basketball, Austins got their sweet revenge on N.I.S by beating them in the semis and advanced to the finals to beat Friends School Kamusinga in an action packed final. The rugby final, being the most anticipated game of the evening, was nothing short of a spectacle. Mang’u having held the Changez Open title for a full six years in a row was playing the hosts Changez who seemed the underdogs going into the match. Mang’u was held to a barren draw by the latter and even after extra time the scores remained nil. The referee was forced to take the match to drop goals, (The equivalent of penalties in soccer for those who don’t understand)
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Mean Maroon won 7-6 thanks to the winning drop goal taken by star player Kores Naisho (404) who is, get this, a PROP!
FLOODIEZ Mang’u redeemed themselves in the Floodiez tourna in a try less game that saw Noordine Alenga score two penalties and a drop goal to propel Mang’u to a 9-0 win over gallant MFA and take home the prestigious MVP award. Mang’u had spent most of the game in the MFA half of the pitch and for the first time in the tournament exposed the Forces weaknesses and flaws. By completely boxing in the MFA runners, Mang’u made sure that
the opponents back line could not execute and therefore leading to a very frustrated team. Gaps began to show and discipline demised thus giving Alenga chances at the uprights.
MANG’U OPEN NPC Buru faced off with Mang’u rudge rookies who were not participating in the floodiez tourna in a cut-throat game which saw Mang’u loose to the up and coming NPC Buru rudge team. Choxx emerged victorious over B.G in the hockey finals in which B.G dominated in the beginning. Ma’hill senior girls ruled the pool at Mang’u with exceptional swimmers.
Mangu fighting off the M.F.A assault at the Impala floodiez finals
Line out: M.F.A vs Bush
Feb
Changez out jump Nyeri High to take the line out at Changez open
10
400,000 REASONS TO ADVERTISE HERE Fact: According to research, 68% of KCSE candidates have already made up their minds on which career to pursue by the time they sit for their final exams.
Will you be in their minds before their KCSE examinations? Advertise in The Insyder’s University College Notice Board
Courses offered: * Hair Dressing Beauty Therapy * Nail Technology * Instructor’s course among others...
VERA INTERNATIONAL FASHION INSTITUTE FOR: Fashion Design, Pattern making, Accessories, Fabric Decoration, Interior Design, Flower Arrangement, Event Decoration, Beadwork among others....... Now in Eldoret & Nakuru Branches For More Information Contact Us On:
Vera Beauty College Nairobi Emperor Plaza, 2nd Flr, Kenyatta Ave, Opp GPO P.O. Box 12416 00100 Nrb Tel: {254-20} 2216520/2216296 Cell: 0725 923550, 0738 639784
Tel: 020 219063 Cell: 0770 325926, 0734 223678, 0726 Fax: 020 318276 Email: carol@theinsyder.com
Your local Inteenet
T9 -THE PLAYA PREZIDENT
Move Past The Friend Zone
Niaje Prezo, I really appreciate the advice you give us jamaaz, please help me out on this one. There’s this chic that I’m really into and I’ve tried letting her know. We do things that resemble a dating relationship all the time, but have done nothing physically or officially. I buy her gifts and I always call her to make sure she’s okay but she still insists that she only wants to be just friends because she’s not ready for anything serious right now. What’s your honest opinion about what I should do? Should I wait until friendship turns into romance? Davy
Crazy in Love or crazy? When you’re in love with your friend, you shouldn’t even be seeing her. Because what’s going to happen if you keep seeing her is that you’re going to get frustrated. When she
says that she doesn’t want a relationship with you and prefers a friendship only, she’s really saying that she has low ‘interest level’ in you, translation; that you don’t have a chance with her. This chic is telling you up front how she feels; now you don’t have to
waste your time with her. So be thankful, that you’re not being taken for a ride.
What’s your game plan?
Thinking you can win this chic over from the friend zone is not a huge mistake but a huge miscalculation.
When you have no game plan, you have no game period. This babe should never have known you had feelings for her in the first place she should have been the one to realize that she has feelings for you. When you call a girl on the phone, you’re supposed to ask her out for a date. You don’t call to chitchat unless she’s already your galfriend. The phone is for getting a date period the same rule applies when it comes to gifts.
Step Out of the friend zone...
If you think that if you hang around long enough she’ll fall in love with you, you’re grasping for straws. Because when a chic utters the word “friendship” in connection to you,
Have a game plan & step out of the friend zone
FNeobv
2 0 10 09
12 12
you’re not in the game at all, you’re a galfriend to this babe and that’s it. So, wake up and smell the coffee. You don’t have a perfect friendship with this chic. She has a perfect friendship with you, and you’re trying to move it into the dating zone. The odds are one in a million that it will ever happen. Move on and start hustling other chics. Remember: Once a friend, always a friend. Having babe problems and need advice? Send your questions to the Playa Prezident himself, Mr. T9 on yuaholla@ theinsyder.com or simply call 0718 000 002
I’M A CHAGUO ! c i t a FAN Your local Inteenet
The Insyder Magazine is giving you and 3 of your friends a chance to experience red carpet glitz & glamour and to chill in the V.I.P section at this year’s Chaguo La Teeniez Awards. Holla at us why you think you’re the No.1 CHAT FANatic and you and 3 of you’re friends could be on your way to The CHAT Awards V.I.P style!
Be creative. Be persuasive. Be the No.1 CHAT FANatic we’re looking for! Send in your applications via... Mail To: P.O. Box 51634 Nrb Email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com Facebook: The Insyder Magazine Website: www.theinsyder.com 13 2 0 1 0 Feb
Your local Inteenet
mob lyzd the insyder mobilyzd: cool n’ fun stuff about mobile phonez
Ultimate Bluetooth Mobile Phone Spy This software allows you to spy on another phone. You can sneakily find out who the owners of the ‘target phone’ make calls with the ‘target phone’, view contacts lists, read text messages (SMS), view calls made/ calls received, set the target phone to call you whenever it makes or receives a call, view photos, and many more functions that ensure you have complete access to dominate the privacy of any phone. It gets better; there is no trace or logging of your phone’s details on the “target phone” meaning no one will ever know.
Flying Alarm Clock This is one alarm clock that will ensure you wake up. How? The top part of the alarm clock flies off when the alarm is triggered and if you want to stop the alarm sound you’ll have to catch the top and place it back in position.
iCarta iPod Toilet Paper Holder We all love to listen to music. But this thing is crazy enough. You can now listen to music even when you’re in your bathroom. It even charges your iPod while you “recharge yourself”.
Textspeak Dictionary This will be updated on a monthly basis. Text Speak Dictionary For this month, we gonna feature words with the letter ‘J & K’ J & K
JK
Just Kidding
JFGI
Just *Freaking* Google It JLMK
JIC
Just Wondering
Cool
Feb
KNIM Know What I Mean?
KIR Keep It Real
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14
KK Knock, Knock
KIT Keep In Touch
Just Playing KEWL
KUTGW Keep Up The Good Work
JP
JW
Okay
KIA
K
Keep It Simple Stupid
Know It All
JJA Just Joking Around
Just My Opinion
JTLYK
JFF
Just For Fun
JMO
Just Let Me Know
KISS
Just In Case
Just To Let You Know
Next Month… L’s
ST.THERESEA GALZ EASICH Umy Mary (304) to Dan O.J Luv u boy more than you can ever imagine. Eliza Wambo (404) to Noor Hussein I luv u no matter the circumstances
AWA Sketch (204) to Alex Maina U complete me…luv u. Graicey (404) to Mato (404) Patch I can’t wait 2 cu holz. Mob luv
SHINERS BEE Orly(204) to Xtine Shiners Gee I bliv in luv at first sight Anthony .B (404) to Fatma (304) Muslim Gee Ur beauty is undeniable…luv u gal.
THIKA HAE Frank (404) to Carol (304) Tumutumu Truly profound my luv. U’ll always be my sweetest desire mwaaaah! Rodo (204) to Anita Kimani Ngei Estate Gal u make my life so sweet I luv u lyk crazy.
REDSVILLE Baru diana to Elvo Thanx 4 da support mob luv Shiko (404) to Arthur (404) Uppah The greatest ship I have sailed on is our
friendship…luv u. Purity (404) to Deno We never go to do it…mob luv. Irene babez (404) to kelvo (304) Onjixe Superhuman! Mwah! Luv u. Renny (404) to Dixon (404) Parky As long as the sun shines, we have every reason to be more than friends. Luv u boy. Esmy (404) to Ben Still got the ring. Baby luv u. Sabdio (404) to Laban X (404) UBA Chop smart baby. Miss u baby. Lizza (404) to Solo man (404) Changez Wanipa fintiva baby mob luv Bilha kendi (404) to Baru(404) Ditchez I sent u an angel with gifts of my luv. Suzie Derulo(404) to Caleb Kimani (404) Chania Apology accepted. Miss u much luv u 4ever Kim Dee (404) to Bryan (404) Saints Mob luv baby Sophie Msupa of the Msupests(404) to Jaymo Minadi (304) A.Q Day after day I keep u loving more. Mercylynn hustler (404) to Elvo Masinde (404) M.F.A Swity mob luv
Thuo G (204) to Staicey (304) Mob luv and Happy B-day gal Xtine Mutuku (NAX) to Sheila Happy b-day!! pals 4 rva Zura (404) to Abdi easich
ST. BARTHS Massa (404) to Frankwest Happy bday bro live till Ur menoless Massa (404) to Frankwest Happy Barthday bro coz you look like a monkii lakini risto ya lang’ata hapana taka
OTHERZ Estel to Arthur Happy birthday switi, dont overdo it Muna to Khalib Osman I wish I was there with you to spend your birthday with you Suzz to Joyce Maze sis unazeeka haraka lakini hivyo hivyo, happy bday. Saveria (304) to Monica siz class 8 Buru Prima Happy b-day siz!
Happy b-day Dee (404) to Kevo (304) Luv u so much baby, Happy b-day Dru to Mumbi Miseti Happy birthday lurv, cant wait to see you April. Sue Musembi to Martin Kuntai Happy birthday dear, endelea kuzeeka Roger to Esther Like a superb wine you seem to be aging. Arthur to Lisa Pamoja kwa roho ata ukiwa mbali. Happy birthday. Esther to Chepchumba May you live to see another hundred years. Khalib to Dorothy I wish I could be with you on your special day. Anto to Mercy Hoping that you are happiest this year
Salma rihanna (404) to Makaveli (404) Jabbz Am already yours baby so luv me 2 da fullest Marie(404) to Kama (404) Highie I’ll never trade u 4 anything. Kisses. Mob luv Shiko (404) to Jeff hunk (404) Oloolaiser If I lose you I will lose a part of me coz I luv u videadly Irene (404) to Sheila Nexy(204) Nembu Luv u always siz. Suzy Anne(404) to Oti (404) O.J Mob luv Lucille(404) to Hamud (404) Maseno Ur love is addictive Sabby (404) to Melvin G (404) Triple S Our lurv is wicked. Trina to Morris The inside of one thing can be the outside of another. Love u lots Kimberly (404) to Melvin (404) Thika Ur a dic…ur a dic.. You are addicted to me and I luv u 4 that. Rebby(404) to Esther (404) A sister is a blessing, a friend is a treasure. You are both. Luv u lots. Alicia Aziz(404) to Aziz (404) If it’s loving that u want make me
your… Liz-bel (404) to zacka (404) A.Q My heart is what u have with u. Mob luv Cynt (404) to Corleone (404) Triple S Uliona wengine ukaamua Kunyamaza nini? Still luv u lots Rita (404) to farook (404) Easich Tutamalizana Tukipatana still luv u.
PARKY BOYZ Dero (304) to Joyce lynn (404) P.B Miss u big baby gal. mob luv. Kelz (304) to Staicey Anne (Kianda) Mob luv! Weezy (404) to Stacey Keep it burning gyal mob luv! Bobo (404) to Edith
OTHERS Alex Ben to Lisandra Winny Am setting the record straight. Please forgive me. The sun is always brighter after the storm. Luv u gal. Zeiph Jabaz (404) to Adriana (204) Forest view Jst wntd 2 say how sorry I am 4 causing u all that stress. Joan (304) to Henry (404) I really miss u…we need 2 talk n resolve Issues coz am truly sorry
UHURU HIGH SCHOOL Sam R.K (304) to Stella Ndung’u (404) Bura Gee Miss u lyk crazy gal holla! Lets just 4get what happened and move on Cal-vo(404) to Zeinab (404) Aga Sijui mbona these days unanilenga hivyo kama nilikukosea then iza and I hope we can work out something.
KIGUMO BENDERA Tony Jerry (404) to Sally(204) Banana Hill I never meant to hurt u baby gal Mwaura (204) to Sheila (204)
Blame it all on me. So sorry baby Ngugi (204) to Emma (304) Ruchu Sina wordz ila 2 kusema iza 4 my wrong doing Nico (204) to Toya (204) L.C.V.R Sorry 4 what I did gal RAE GALZ Achiebella (404) to Davy I knw I hurt u baby and am sorry so I hope u can 4give me. Diana Princess (404) to Tony Saints Yala Our luv meant a lot so don’t let it go. I’m sorry 4 all I did. Adhis (404) to Mose Rotich (404) Baby 4give me. PUMU Oti Carlos (304) to Jeanette (304) Mumbi Gee I apologize 4 all I did Arshavin (304) to Wendy Nix (304) Nile Road No excuse 4 my actions only 2 say I regret what I said Maddie (404) to Subira Baby gal plz dnt go I apologize
KIAMBU HAE Eddy Gizmo (404) to Pauline Tiana(404) Luv u gal thanx 4 blessing ma lyf. Kibz(404) to Candy Wambui (304) Uthiru I owe u A LOT! Ur my best friend thanx kwa kila kitu Manuel (304) to Phoebe Nyakio Thank u 4 everything especially…u knw what Eli Zaiq (404) to Essy (404) Kiburia Gee I dnt knw how ill ever pay u back…Thanx 4 everything
AHERO GALZ Daisy O.(404) to Marcos (404) Onjixe Thanx 4 being a true friend Malkia Achieng(404) to Makaveli Bobby (404) Jahmu Thanx 4 everything Dione Symeker(204) to Winnie Noora Pangoe galz Thanx 4 all ur help siz Nessy (404) to Don (404) Sawagongo Ur my everything. Thanx a lot
KITENGELA GEE Elaine Ifrika(304) to Karsi
NDURU BOYZ (SCRMZ) Jaycee (404) to Emmah (404) Bush Gee Think I miss vitamin U.
TIGGZ HAE Sovi (304) to Nyamz (404) Kambaa Galz Ur kisses are hotter than faya. Miss your lips.
KIRIMARA (KRITCHES) Weshood+ Phillo (404) to Sharon (404) Mathaithi The happiest day for me is the day that ends with your kiss. Kiss me thru the mail. Mmmwaaaa miss ya!
KISAU GEE Shantel to Yvonne (304) PB Kilungu Miss U sana n break da silence. Milly to Albo n Charles (304) SSS Missing U guys sana c U over the vac
BARCHEZ HAE Karinga 304 to Beatrice Wanjiru 304
(404) O.J Thanx 4 always being there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal Phatma (304) to Dan Nyayo Embakasi Niaje thanks 2 sana 4 all ur help Ur a good friend Lizha (404) to Gaur I’ll always b gr8ful Rudegyal Wa Benso (204) to Carol siz Thanx coz ur always there Quincy (304) to The Insyder mag Thanx 4 entertaining teeniez 4 10 years
RONGAI BOYZ Thuo cay-vo (404) to Xtine (204) Makuyu Gee Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin Biko (404) to Ciku (404) Steph joy Manze thanx 4 u knw what Kama (204) to Lucyanne Princess (304) Kiserian Gee Owe u big tym…asante 4 all the help Thuo Cay-vo (404) to Carol N. Thanx 4 being there
OTHERS Claire (304) to Mum I luv u mum thanx 4 always being
Kabz Nakufeel vinoma. Mbona kuwa silent. Nakumiss.
PABLOS HAE Lennox Mayanja 204 to Irvine Auma 204 Carmel Gee If missin u was a crime then I wud be on a death row. If dreamin 4 u was a disease I wud be in I.C.U. But if carin for u was a sin I would buy u a first class ticket to hell MISS YA BIG! Suzy 304 to Nde 404 Kitui Skul Iuz wishin u success n break da sylnc boy! Miss u big. C ya. Suzy 304 to Davy 304 Kitui Skul Wadup preety bwoy,….da sylnc is too loud 4 a guy lyk u dia. Eliaso 204 to Darma MFA-Lanet Kip on talking n brek da sylnc! Labo 204 to Annabel 204 Wats wid de sylnc gurl? Yonah 304 to Sarah Wamaye 304 Tumtum Ur luv is treasured. Missin u big
KISS BEE (KISASI SEC.) sam Komu 404 to Canavalier 404 Kilungu sec U r my missin rib.
there 4 me Janet Njoki (404) to Mum & Dad I appreciate everything u do 4 me Viola (304) to Resh (404) Naivasha Gee Thanx 4 caring Say hi 2 ur cute bro. Emma (404) to Mum & Dad Thanx 4 understanding me I owe u all my luv
PATCH Tony Yayo (404) to Faith (404) Kerugoya Gee I know u dnt knw me well but I owe u my thanx I’ll xplain this holz Maxi Priest (404) to Nora Luv u 4 lyf n thanx 4 everything SAGANA Johnny Walker(204) to Bancy (204) Mary Mount Thanx gal…I needed that Cartel (404) to Ivy lagat Gal, I owe u big tym thanx 4 ur help
KAIMOSI
to Danbwanaya Jerusha (404) Uppah Thanx 4 being my everything.
OFAFA JERICHO
Garvey Cartel (204) to Anita (204) St. Tito Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin Tosh Mutisya (404) to Karisma (404) Buru Manze thanx 4 u knw what Kama (204) to Alyc Wanja Tinde (304) St. Anne’s Muthale Owe u big tym…asante 4 all the help Thuo Ras (304) to Irene Makau Thanx 4 being there
NAIVASHA GALZ
Shntrel (404) to Rooney J. (404) Ovotes Thanx 4 being a true friend Anchal Kaveni (404) to Kevin (404) SSS Thanx 4 everything Princess Letoya (204) to Winnie St.Gee Thanx 4 all ur help cuzo Tessy Lynn (404) to Don (404) Maranda Ur my everything. Thanx a lot
Jerushabibiya Dan (204)
BARCHEZ HAE 3K to Kingsley Gateru 304??? Whereva u r u r still our pal Lewin 304 to Angel Wanjiru 304 Ngaru Gee Always bear in mind that u r ma best. Lennox 204 to Esther Kazungu 204 St. Gee No call, no missed calls, no txt a u in jail. Mike Omosh 204 to tha Insyder Kru Holla guyz kip it up. U guyz r da bomb thumbs up 2 everybody their na ugotee (A.B) Am a fan of hers. Brian Kim 204 to Lydia 204 K.Gee Everyone listens 2 wat u say, friends listen 2 wat u say but best friends 2 wat u don say. Suzy 304 to Mtu Saba 304 Kerugoya Boyz Tuko mbele…..joh, mapenzi tele cuzo!! Suzy 304 to Johnny 404 Kisasi boys Dara hizo mambuku vinoma, zitoe nyege kabisa, success n missin u a lot. YES , I DO. Suzy 304 to Wezere 204 Kitondo boiz Sasa, its da high tym we knw each otha more. Missin u. Gotcha. Holla durin holz.
MFA Eric 204 to Phoebe 304 Chhoxx Best cuzo ever! Be blessed
NYARAGWA GEE Maggy Ng’ang’a 304 to David Ngugi
304 Komo Bee Hi cuzo! Mob! Mob lujv!! Angie of NG to Insyder kru U rock! U r simply mwaaaaaaah!!! L.B.C SALAAMZ Frank 304 to Gacheri 204 Kaaga Gee All I’m lackin is vitamin U!
BLUUZ HIGH SCHOOL Yoyo (304) to Thomas (304) – Aga Khan You and me have a covalent bond. Missing u vimeja. Frndz 4eva. Nelly (304) to Mato (404) – Highie Friends only appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Nellian (304) to Alo (304) – MFA Bcoz of da blazing fire in our hearts, tumetoka mbali. Friends 4 G. Racqs (304) to Dickson Mutuma (304) – Memon High Kwani, cant u see that I cant stand the pain of your friendly injection? Nellious Mumbz (304) to Simoh (304) – SSS No harsh words, coz friendship is a promise kept by heart.
PHOTOMANIA REAL TEENIEZ REAL MOMENTS
The Insyder is spreading some serious love to all teeniez massive. We’ve dedicated a whole page to feature cool pics from all our fans. Show your papparazo side by sending us cool photos of yourself/your pals. Grab a cam and start clicking!
TOO HOT FOR T.V.
Take a look at what stars have been up to Pg 22..........Beatlab Pg 23..........411 Pg 28..........New Skool
groovie mOvie
Repo Men Genre: Action/Thriller Humans have extended and improved the quality of life through highly sophisticated and expensive mechanical organs created by a company called The Union. However if you don’t pay your bill, The Union sends its highly skilled repo men to take back its property with no concern for your comfort or survival. Remy (Jude Law), one of the best organ repo men in the business suffers a cardiac failure on the job and awakens to find himself fitted with the company’s top-of-the-line heart-replacement as well as a hefty debt. But a side effect of the procedure is that his heart’s no longer in the job. When he can’t make the payments, the hunter becomes the hunted as The Union sends its toughest enforcer, Remy’s former partner Jake (Forest Whitaker), to track him down.
She’s Out of My League Genre: Romantic Comedy An average Joe, can’t believe his luck, though he’s stuck in a seemingly dead-end job as an airport security agent, against all odds Molly (Alice Eve), a successful and outrageously gorgeous babe falls for him. Kirk is stunned. So are his friends, his family and even his ex-girlfriend. Now he has to figure out how to make the relationship work, even though he’s the first to admit she’s way out of his League
Our Family Wedding Genre: Romantic Comedy Chaos ensues when a young, AfricanAmerican medical resident proposes marriage to his Latina girlfriend, who happens to be pregnant with his child. “Our marriage, their wedding.” Is lesson number one for any newly engaged couple, and Lucia (America Ferrera) and Marcus (Lance Gross) are no exception. The weeks leading up to a young couple’s wedding is comic and stressful, especially as both families argue over wedding plans and their respective fathers try to lay to rest their feud
DVD STALL/TUBE TALK
VAMPIRE DIARIES Genre: Drama/Thriller The story centers around Elena Gilbert, a high school girl torn between two vampire brothers. As the school year begins Elena and her friends are fascinated by the handsome & mysterious new student, Stefan Salvatore. Stefan and Elena are immediately drawn to one another, what Elena doesn’t realize is that Stefan is hiding a dark, deadly secret. He’s a vampire and so is his brother Damon, the two brothers have a long and bitter history. Damon ridicules Stefan for rejecting their legacy of violence and brutality, but he understands his brother’s obsession with Elena, since she looks exactly like a woman Stefan loved more than a century ago; a woman that Damon tried to make his own. Now these two vampire brothers – one good, one evil – are at war for Elena’s soul and for the souls of her friends, family and all the residents of Mystic Falls, Virginia.
Too hot for T.V.
purple monkey
Riddim nation
Jamaica Cancels Bob Marley Concert An annual concert that draws hundreds of tourists to celebrate Bob Marley’s birthday has been canceled for the first time in over a decade over noise complaints and reports that it usually exceeds the noise curfew set.
Bob Marley
Fall Out for Fall Out Boy?
Apparently not! According to Pete Wentz who made it very clear that the band was on a break for a while and not a break up. Speaking for himself, being a father is more important than being a Fall Out Boy right now. He’s just working on raising his son Bronx with wife Ashlee Simpson.
Jamaican Athletes Celebrated
It’s no secret that the world is now sitting up and taking notice of the phenomenal talent coming out of Jamaica especially after their super performances in Beijing and Berlin. The documentary will seek to explore things that motivate them and will be attempting to explain to the world just what contributes in making the athletes out of Jamaica so special.
Uasin Bolt
Kip Rich Clashes With Merciless
The two Jamaican reggae / dancehall powerhouses almost clashed when Kip Rich backed out of a concert at the last minute and after payment had already been made. Word has it that Kip Rich backed out of the clash; we think Merciless would make a very good opponent and we wonder if that’s why Kip Rich doesn’t want the face off.
Oh Yes She Did!
During a recent concert, Pink mocked Beyonce while performing Stupid Girls thereby insinuating that Beyonce was a stupid girl. It remains to be seen whether Bey will take the high road or hit back in her upcoming album.
Kip Rich
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Fall Out Boy
Oops! Britney Gets Dissed Aside from being completely side lined by the press, Britney Spears had to be relocated at the Grammys when her ex Justin Timberlake discovered his seat was right next to hers. JT demanded to be moved, fuming that the ‘faux pas’ was orchestrated to make a scene for the cameras and play up rumors he had split for good from his on off love Jessica Biel. Which he hasn’t! Organizers were only too happy to move Britney across the aisle from Justin.
Swift Backlash After Taylor Swift less than great Grammy performance Kanye West ain’t the only one saying that America’s Sweetheart may not be worth all the fuss. Taylor Swift’s management was quick to release a statement that her Grammys performance was not an American Idol competition of getting up and seeing who can sing the highest note. Well the American Idol numero uno Kelly Clarkson is having none of that and retorted with a statement that they should shove their lame excuses and admit that every artist has a bad performance or two...
Too hot for T.V.
Beatlab
Explosive Sizzling Volatile Effervescent
Innert
Chapaa Remix MC: Abbas, Prezzo, Cannibal, Nazizi, Sheila Mwanyigha, Wyre, DNG. Production: Tshazi Review by Marcus Itimu
With the collabo of talent on this track, it’s not a surprise that the remix is better than the original. Its magic may lie in the fact that it combines different styles: Nazizi’s
reggae touch, Wyre’s dancehall touch, Nikki’s smooth RnB touch and Abbas’ Hip Hop. Plus it talks about chapaa a subject that everyone can relate to, the video also gets a pass. So what’s there not to love?
Rating:
Mikono Kwenye Mabeshte Damu Hewa
MC: Muthoni The Drummer Queen Production: Wawesh Kiboy The Mjanja one Review by Marcus Itimu
The first thing you notice about this song is its distinct sound and different style. As a new artist The Drummer Queen has great lyrical flow and energy. The fusion of drum beats to her rap is blended artfully in vocal harmony. The video which features the appearance of Sauti Sol is well done and captivating enough to make anyone listen to this distinctly different beat and drives the message home.
Rating:
Unataka Nini?
MCs: Jua Cali feat KSoja Production: Calif Records Review by Marcus Itimu
And he’s back the Genge maestro is partnering with new artist KSoja on this one and kama kawaida the lyrics are on fire with Clemo’s trademark beat lacing the lyrics such as ‘Mabeshte tuko pamoja tangu siku za kusota’ it’s a fact that every mgenge at heart will be singing along to this track right here track very soon. The video gets a green light as Calif’s infamous skits and comical role playing are once again put to great use. Rating:
MCs: Prezzo feat. Madtraxx Review by Marcus Itimu
Two big shots on one track the King of Bling is back and he’s flow has gained more tempo on this particular track. It’s quite noticeable that this track’s tune is very similar to Madtraxx’s Big Shot but then again its Prezzo who comes out on top on this track. As Prezzo sings in the song “I’m the ish I always handle my business’’. Maybe this right here is just what he needs to bounce back to the top of the charts. Rating:
The views expressed in this column are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The Insyder
Feb
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Too hot for T.V.
411
DE JAVU
No.1 Queen In The Game Best believe it after Beyonce’s historic Grammy wins. Up for ten nominations Queen Bey walked away with six awards! ‘Single Ladies’ beat out tough compe to snag ‘The Song of the year award.’ Guess Kanye West (who was no-show at the Grammys) had a point for his MTV-Awards outburst. Other big winners included Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas
Baby Mama Beef Usher who recently divorced his wife Tameka Foster is rumoured to be thinking about getting back together with her again just as soon as he’s done making up
his mind on whether he wants to re-ignite his old flame with TLC member Chilli (or maybe he’s just creating hype for his latest album).
FYI
Diddy on the other hand is having baby mama issues. His on/off long-time galfriend Kim Porter mother of his three kids and Diddy’s other baby mama Misa. Kim thinks that the other baby mamas are not on her level and neither are their kids with hers. Of Diddy’s six kids one son is Misa’s and three (two girls one boy) by Kim. Nas is scheduled to undergo laser surgery to remove the tattoo he has on his arm of his baby mama Kelis naked and playing with herself.
WTF?!
Precious star Gabby Sidibe’s mama sings on the NYC subway and asks people for money if they like her singing.
IDENTITY THEFT If you’ve been wondering where Kenrazy has been, well he told us that last year he was working on building other up-coming artists but to expect to see more of him this year as he prepares to launch his latest album: Gi-RF (Get It Right From Kenrazy). Calif’s Miss Size 8 (Linet) has ventured into acting. You can catch her in KBC’s Plot 10 as you look out for her next single Shamba Boy.
Ciara and Avril are the latest celebrities to have their personal lives toyed with. Ciara’s Twitter account was hacked into and an old photo of Cece with ex boyfriend Bow Wow posted with the tweet,”@Ciara Gosh guys you don’t know how good it feels to be back with Bow again.” .Avril’s FB account Avril was hacked into and very raunchy updates posted. “Of all that I’ve had to go through in the industry so far this is definitely the highlight. It made me cry I never do that for anything and anyone,” she said before quiting Facebook for good.
Teenage Millionaire Soulja Boy’s been a busy boy. The 19-year-old, who has his third album on the way, has produced tracks for Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Snoop Dogg and Gucci Mane. Aside from music, Soulja has a cartoon in the works and now a book deal titled ‘Teenage Millionaire’ which will be released at the same time as his new album ‘The DeAndre Way’.
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Kimora Lee has her eyes widened to look less Asian and more European. Ugandan gays are now likely to face life imprisonment as opposed to death in a proposed anti-gay legislation. The Ugandan government officials believe that killing them may not be helpful but a life sentence would be better because it gives room for offenders to be rehabilitated. Have these guys watched any prison flicks, OZ?
Fresh From “Game yetu iko juu tu sana!”: Buru’s cheering squad were loud and proud
Kevo from Mtongoini Hae had a message to send
The game was a little bit too close for comfort during the M.F.A Mang’u floodiez finals
Our Feb cover star Tero signs autographs for fans at The Insyder Floodiez Hot Spot
Lollipop vending at funkiez is big bizna for Johnnie (404)
Chat Nominees Black Blingers Mik was on the scene repr
Parky dudes were hooked to the The Insyder Floodiez
STABHZ monkey bizna at the phone
Ditchez drama club tees are a little bit over the top
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Scop
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Be the judge are the jamaaz enjoyin compe or the view? Bush Bee’s Hockey keeper gameplan was to scare the other team with his outfit
h th T e Ins
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Breezing for Gathuruini equals thumb sucking on beds
Matatu mania, they had the greenlight to carry excess passengers at the nganya awards
e Insyde
booth
The iMC presents High Skool Floodiez Champions Mang’u with their trophy
Exhibit A: How Texas dudes breeze
Mang’u Tumeshinda, Tumeshinda Kikombe!
Ditchez’ b-ball team needed all the defense tactics they could think of
Kilio cha haki from this Ng’ang’aria Gee chic who mised out on the loaf
Th
e playstation action at z Hotspot
Maendeleo ya Wanaume should have this chic on their watchlist
h
ke Likulu 304 Jahmu resentin
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Too hot for T.V.
Street Logic NEW SKOOL
Underground hip-hop has paved way for the likes of Wale, Talib Kweli, Common, Nas, our very own Ukoo Flani, Mwafrika and Pointblank. If the number of teeniez showcasing their prowess at WAPI is anything to go by, then it looks like Mwaf and the rest better watch out coz a new revolution is breaking dawn. We spotlight two teen rappers Marvin ‘Kapella’ Sultani (Ex-can Strath), Louis ‘Taffie’ Mworia (Ex-can Highie) and their producer Ashi who laces their rhymes with his beats. Gova Name: Louis Mworia Age: 18 Record Label: Street Logic ‘Kapella and I share pretty much share the same experiences as underground HipHop artists. It’s a struggle to get recognition but I love music and I want to pursue it to the fullest. I know I’m good at what I do and this industry better be ready for me.
Beat Maestro
Kapella
Taffie
Gova Name: Marvin Sultani Age: 18 Record Label: Street Logic Manager: Mark Although he was misunderstood Kapella pursued his dreams, constantly jotting down his thoughts and converting them into lyrics which he could rap and he never missed an opportunity to showcase his prowess. His
inspiration comes from everyday experiences from girls to parents, beef, hustling you name it. “I’ve always enjoyed listening to Hip-Hop music for as long as I can remember. From Coolio, Nas, Snoop, Dre, Pac, Biggie to Jay-z, Weezy and Kanye not forgetting K-Shaka and Mwafrika. I knew that was what I was going to do.”
Gova Name: Ashi Akatsa Age: 19 Founder and Producer Street Logic Ashi says that he got the nod from Chiwawa’s producer and also Plug ‘n’ Play’s executives who encouraged him to try out producing after sampling his work while he was still in Highie. His mum though skeptical at first helped him buy the equipment and even allowed him to set the studio in her sitting room. Ashi says that he now earns his income from producing mix-tapes for various up-coming artists and believes that Taffy and Kapella will be his biggest acts this year. “They’re planning to release over 300 tracks this year and I have faith in them. They’ll also be one of the hottest acts at WAPI and Octopizzo better watch out coz they got the full support of Street Logic and 4barz Entertainment.”
The beginning of a partnership... Taffie and Kapella first met when they faced off at a rappers convention and things got pretty ugly. “I didn’t want to admit it at the time but Taffy really stunned me with his ill rhymes and I was pretty impressed because all the teeniez I had faced off with at the convention were not that good and I obviously thought I was the best,” says Kapella. “We met again at another convention and this time round we actually got along pretty well and had each others back in the free style session.’ Taffy says. Each of them already had mixtapes produced by different production houses. Armageddon for Kapella and The Oscillation for Taffie. They continued performing together at various gigs, Quabbz, L.V.C.R, Music Week, Mad Luv Launch and other low profile conventions and that’s when they met Ashi. The two rappers have been lucky enough to be interviewed on Citizen’s ‘Power Breakfast’ and Pamoja FM. The trio believes that this is the beginning of greater things to come for them since they’ve just cleared high school and now have all the time to concentrate on their music. They are confident 28 act taking over the airwaves. enough that they’ll be the next hot
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FLOETRY FURY Blue Korna Jina ya Gova: Victor Munene Msanii: Vicar Vistar Reppin’ : Spuxxvile (St.Pius seminary) Track: Dope Ngoma Nimeambukizwa allergy ya blu na red kona Ndio maana nimeanza kuandika Dope ngoma Massacre ya lyrics bila ujuzi Ungedhani hii yote ni upuzi Lakini si lazima upate riziki Coz ya kuwa mwanamziki Unacheki nikikucheki utasleki Na ubreki kwa lyf ya hepi Nina Sauti kama Matonya na Player kama Diego Maradonna Kujaribu kutoboa industry ingawa imeshona So naanza floetry fury kuangaza rap mentali Kuwasho talanta kali kali Kwa Insyder kiundercover kama Brother wananiita sniper Kubite kama viper Kahauja rada uko off wire Jina ni Vicar Vicstar Nawapa rap sic namna ya vita. So ka we ni reader wa insyder Be the decider Kama ni mimi Vicar Ama huyu outsider
Red Korna Jina ya Gova: Joseph Kathitu Msanii: Jay-K Reppin’: L.B.C Track: Diss this It’s Jeezy msanii kutoka L.B.C My lyrics so easy like A.B.C They took my name Took my game Took my dream Now I’m me I’ve took the pain, I’m trynna take their floss away Ma haters nawafyatua na laiser Nawaacha wamestunya kama wadenki Mt.Kenya Nawaacha na anger kama wataka kunihang na hanger I get 2 chics before 2 in the afternoon Na you get 2 pigs coz you smell like one too Mi ni yule msanii analeta terror ukifanaya mao na calc inabring syne error.
HIGH SKOOL DRAMA! EXPOSED High skool life isn’t simply wrapped in a bow; there are bumps, bruises, and broken hearts. It is full of betrayal, manipulations, judgment, envy, gossip, competition and resentment. We went undercover on the high skool scene to uncover just how accelerated the lives of teeniez living on the fast lane is. We talked to teeniez who were more than eager to spill the beans on all the behind the scenes drama that goes down in skools without the admin’s knowledge and just how adult most teeniez behave outside skool. Hii ni story ya ma teeniez, in gear five, Madem na machali wa fly getting down with the music, feeling fly, Furahi days, music vibes, scandal in the air...
In-Skool Drama Bullying in skools is not something new and most teeniez have experienced it first hand as rabbles. But with the strict rules on physical bullying we discovered there’s a new kind of monolization on the rise. Collo 404 in a boarding skool in Meru told us that in their skool it’s now a tradition for rabbles to pay their designated ‘skool guide’ a fixed ‘social security’ fee amounting to 500 bob. He told us that some seniors have more than one rabble from whom they collect the ‘social security fee’. Why hasn’t the admin discovered this? If anyone snitches or fails to pay without a valid reason then they are doomed. This includes hazing acts such as having their mattress peed on, their belongings being ‘butterflied’ (vandalized) and basically any horrible thing that the bullies can come up with. Eventually, the defaulter either gives in or transfers. Most prefects are also involved in this profitable business and they help to keep the admin at bay as they are paid a contribution fee for upholding their end of the bargain by not snitching. Judy in an upstate skool confesses that the form 1’s arrival is around the same time that most seniors will go on a shopping spree. This means picking clad from the washing lines and some ‘generous shoppers’ sometimes replace their ‘free purchase’ with a dirty item out of “kindness”. Mona confesses that this is when most chics in their skool will befriend rabbles because they want to manipulate them into giving them freebies and doing their laundry.
phones, portable radios (palitos), mini TVs, hair blow dryers and hair tongs yet they never get busted during inspections. He told us that he makes most of his pocket money from selling airtime to his fellow students at a marked-up fee; he sometimes comes with it from home during breaks and since he’s a d-hall official he links up with the cooks to supply him with airtime when his stock get depleted.
Most teeniez we spoke to admitted that there able to sneak these drugs in by outsmarting the system. Despite the searches by the admin they’ve developed creative and innovative ways of sneaking these stuff in.
Ever noticed that chic/dude who’s always present at all funkiez? Well we’ve met Shez 404 at most funkiez that the i-qru hits and we decided to ask her just how she manages to be a member of so many clubs and still hit the books. She told us that “High skool life is like politics, it’s all about who you know and if you know the right peepz they’ll always manage to sneak you onto the exit list to any funkie.”
Skool Rivalry
Stevo 404 from a Nai skool told us that for dudes in his skool it’s as easy as just walking out. So how do they get past the watchiez and T.A’s. “If you slip a watchie a good tip he’ll even escort you to the mat,” he laughs. Then there’s always the couple that airs their dirty laundry in public at funkiez, it’s usually the chic who gets involved in a cat fight with other chics over her dude though occasional fist fights over damsels have also been reported.
Rivalry and competition Every student wants a good grade but just how far will some students go to get it? Teeniez confessed that there are those who always manage to cheat in exams right under the teacher’s nose and have never gotten caught. The methods range from hiding mwakenyas in the last place a teacher would look this includes in biro pens to palm writing but the one constant being solidarity with their fellow classmates. This means that as long as you don’t get caught no-one will tell on you. Arthur 304 confessed that he cheats during C.A.T.S and exams and he’s never gotten caught because he does it with his pals, “The guys who sit next to the door or the window are the lookouts, the guys who sit behind do the copying from the text/note books then they sambaza it to the rest of us.” Skiving preps and lessons also seemed to rank very highly with most seniors in skools. Caro 404 says that with the right connections one can get away with almost anything. She says that it helps to be good friends with a prefect as they will always cover your back and keep you in the loop of what’s going down. Jamo 404 confesses that almost all 404’s in their skool have mobile
We grilled some dudes from a prominent provincial skool in Nai about the reports of rampant drug abuse to the extent of weed being grown on the skool compound. Pato a 304 in the said skool admits to having smoked weed and even cultivating it on a patch on the skool compound, he says he didn’t start it but was introduced to it by seniors and though he does smoke weed occasionally he’s not addicted to it. “It looked cool and mature; eventually we also started spiking our juice with alcohol and sucking on Kuber. It helps to get your mind off the hectic schedule and also to relax during the weekends.” ‘Luminary’ a 404 in STABHS (pronounced stabz) told us that it’s normal for a dude to experiment with the stuff. “Well, there’s the kawa stuff like wabaz, (alcohol) Kuber and Gife (cigarettes) then there’s the hardcore kind like Chavez (snuff) and Gode (bhang). Though it’s not cool at all for a chic to try these stuff, “ he asserts. So how does all this go on without the admin noticing?
“The trick is to use in moderation and know the best time and place to do so. We do our biz na mpango.” Roy told us smugly.
From time in memorial there has always been bad blood brewing between certain skool camps Statoe & Quabbz, Uppah & Jahmu, Patch & Changez , to name but a few and this has in the past resulted in bloody street brawls over territorial supremacy and sometimes over galz. Our very own iMC witnessed these last year at the KSSA games at Saintz when AQ dudes got a bit too rowdy and started taunting the Patcherians she was with. There also seemed to be some tension between LA high and Ofafa which stems from LA beating a not too happy Ofafa in football. Ditchez and Jahmu also seemed to be edging towards brawling at this year’s Changez Open over who deserved to dance in the space next to the b-ball court. “This whole brawling thing is getting out of hand, rivalry was fine and fun too but wasee wakianza kubehave kama Ditchez and Jahmu, brandishing hockey sticks someone can get seriously injured,” says Marto 404 Changez.
Boys will be boys
she says confidently. Faruk 304 a day scholar confesses that he’s really changed since joining high skool “I never used to pint or rave but nowadays, wha! Ni lazima kila weekend.” So how exactly does he get into these rave joints and purchase alcohol with all the “We ID” notices slapped on most of the popular rave joints?
It was unanimous that the fornicating often takes place at the dudes place as most high skool chics are too closely monitored by their paroez however there is the odd exception, chics who’s parent’ are too modern/trusting/ and allow them to bring over their guy friend also lease out their home space to other couples who want to get down to the nitty gritty. Is virginity overrated we asked?
“It’s simple bana, dress to kill and always have a tip ready. It helps when you go with someone older coz no one will even bother with you. Plus most of my pals have fake ID’s in case we get asked for them.”
Gossip and rejection
The Shuga Generation
The high skool scene has its own ‘it’ clique, dudes and dudettes who everyone wants to be associated with because they are hip, fashionable with the looks to match, the money to spend, the connections in all the right places and know how to have a good time. If it’s happening they are probably at the centre of it and are always as they say; the life of the party. But just how far will teeniez go to belong? A chic from a prominent Nai chic skool once attempted suicide after failing to be crowned the winner of a pageant. At the just concluded Miss Choxx there was a chic who kept being booed by her fellow schoolmates a classic exhibition of rejection. Scandal, betrayal and attention seeking antics seem to be the shortcut to instant fame for most chics. This involves dressing in the latest trends which they sometimes misinterpret to mean the most outrageous and skimpy outfits to grab attention. Friendships have been destroyed in the race to popularity as Loise 404 tells us her ex-best friend is now her worst enemy because she sold her out and spilled a secret she was told in confidence just so that she could get in with their skool’s ‘it’ clique. Rosie 304 confesses to getting a belly piercing and tattoo just because everyone in her clique had one and she didn’t want to be the odd one out. Pam 304 says that most of her classmates don’t like her because they think she’s a miss goody two shoes but that doesn’t seem to bother her, “The few friends I have are my real friends and not fake people who want me to join in their misery. I can be like them any day but they can never be like me,”
Our snooping revealed that lots of teeniez save up their pocket money to rave and buy alcohol during mid-term breaks and holz. Even without IDs, most teeniez easily access alcohol as many alcohol retailers are not strict enough. They simply don’t bother about age restrictions and are keener on making money than observing regulations. Older siblings, relatives and friends also seem to play a huge role in introducing teeniez to raving and drinking alcohol as they often ‘treat’ teeniez to drinks. More shocking was the revelation that some paroez seem to tolerate underage drinking from their children. “My mum is a socialite and I usually accompany her to some parties during the holz. She drinks a lot and sometimes she even asks me to join her as long as I don’t tell my dad. It’s no big deal,” Ciku a 404 from St. Gee disclosed.
High Skool Hook-Ups
Boy meets gal, boy likes gal, gal plays hard to get that’s the old age story of high skool romance but not anymore as we discovered. Some high skool galz are giving it away way too easy and the jamaaz were only more than willing to kiss and tell. So when and where do they get up to the creeping. Most teeniez we spoke to informed as that the indiscretions usually take place during the holz as most skool funkiez are too closely monitored for anyone to attempt anything extreme however there are those who have tried and almost tasted success.
Shazzy 304 who lives in Eastlands told us that she has a boyfie though they’ve not had sex yet. “We’ve talked about it but I’m not ready yet,” she says “He doesn’t pressure me but I suspect he’s getting laid by some random chic.’ She adds. Noni a chic in one of Nai’s elite skools confessed that she lost her virginity at sixteen a revelation that doesn’t seem to bother her much. “I was at my cuzo’s bash and my long time crush was there too. He was in 404 at the time and we hit it off. Before I knew it, I was alone with him in my cuzo’s bedroom. He said it wasn’t going to hurt that much and he promised to use protection. It was over before I knew it and I was like huh? That’s it?”
“He’s mine!”
Dennis from an upstate school confessed that he’s done ‘it’ a couple of times with the same chic. Is it safe sex? “I always make sure we use protection. I don’t trust pills coz they might backfire and also coz of the side effects, “says Shiko 304. Alex 404 in a mixed high skool in Nairobi had of a different opinion, “Most peeps in our skool are having sex and they are having it with their classmates. I think that’s just sick. I wouldn’t sleep with a gal in my class. I’m still a virgin but I don’t like talking about it coz I get teased. I’ve lied that I got laid once and I was still teased for being ‘slow.’ I’m almost turning 18 and to be honest I feel really left out. I don’t want to pressure my chic but if I get an ‘easy’ chic then I’ll definitely get down with it.”
High Skool Femme Fatales
They know they’re hot and are strictly the no love without finance type. These chics believe that dudes in high skool are too “immature” as Fatma 304 a day scholar describes them. She told us that most of her pals are dating dudes who have cleared high skool or are in Uni/ Colle and then there’s the occasional one or two who are going out with really really older/married dudes. Is this a case of galz growing up too young or simply galz behaving badly? “It’s not really a big deal,” Wendy tells us “If I’m going to give it up I might as well get something in return.” So how exactly do they do it? Meeting Fatma and Wendy both dressed in the latest hip fashion, their faces masked with several layers of make-up and judging by their sophisticated/ adult-like demeanour it’s easy to see why anyone would mistake them to be older than they really are. So do any of these older men know how young these galz are? “It depends on the guy,” Says Kate who’s an ex-candidate “My ex didn’t
Are young girls growing up too fast?
know my real age he thought I was in uni, we broke up coz I couldn’t see him as often as he’d have liked coz of skool but my current boyfie is a musician/ DJ and he’s cool with my age.”
The Forbidden Fruit
If you’ve been watching the news or reading newspapers you’ve definitely noticed the rise in reports of illicit love affairs between teachers and students, in most of them it’s always the student who is the victim an appalling trend that we all want to see curbed as soon as possible but we decided to hit skools to find out the other side of the coin. We talked to Barbie and Sinto (404s) in a prominent chic school in Nai and they gave us the scoop on teacher-student flings in their skool. They revealed that in their skool it is the students who chase the teachers and not the other way around. There are those T.A’s who try very hard to ignore the attention but then again there are those who fall for the trap set for them. According to Sinto, chics who get involved with T.A’s do it for reasons ranging from the thrill of dating an older guy to the ‘benefits’ which can be enjoyed in the form of extra pocket money, good grades, snacks and free leave passes. Barbie revealed that she has had a crush on one of her male T.A’s but kept it to herself. Sinto then goes on to tell us about her crush on a T.A, “We had a T.P who was really easy going and most chics including Barbie had a crush on him. Some chics were taking it too far by flirting with him in class. At first, he led them on by laughing it off but I think he got a warning or something coz he stopped socializing with us all of a sudden.” Upon further snooping we discovered that the trend is gaining fast momentum and that the majority of the targets/ culprits are young T.A’s in training. Shiko 304 confesses that her pal was hitting on their drama coach, she
Underage drinking and raving asked him for his contacts with the excuse of calling him up and sharing ideas on the play but instead she started sending him flirty messages. He never replied to them and instead met with her privately and told her that her actions could jeopardize his career. He never talked to her again and her pal is still obsessed with him. ‘Cay-vo’ and Moha from a boy skool in Westlands told us that it’s common for dudes to flirt with the training T.A’s as long as they are hot. “It starts with simple things like answering all her questions and complimenting her outfits. Once you’ve established a friendship, you go in for the kill’. He informed us that his T.A crush left before he could go for the ‘kill’ a.k.a asking her out. Moha revealed that his pal in a skool in Coasto was lucky enough to go to 2nd base with a T.A but she told him that it would never work out and so she cut all ties.
Surviving High Skool Why do people care what other people think? It shouldn’t matter, so why does it? The truth of the matter is everyone wants to belong; It is, after all, a part of life and growing up. But the sooner you realize you don’t need to engage in activities that will ruin your life or let what you wear define you as a person, the better off you will be because you’ll never be able to turn back time and the burden of regret is a horrible one to carry. The truth is no-one will survive in the real world unless they can accept themselves for who they are. Skool is just a “pre-life” designed to prepare you for real life. You don’t really need to be worried about anything, other than grades.
Too hot for T.V.
Answer Bitch
Crazy Get-Ups
Check out Lady Gaga’s and Kelis red carpet looks: Are they fashion hits or misses?
Hi AB, I was watching the Grammys and I couldn’t help but wonder how do the stars go to the bathroom when they are wearing their stage get-ups and those long gowns, especially the ones with the long trains? Do they have to have someone go into the stalls with them? Monica, Bluuz Hae Monica, Aren’t you the weirdo? I’m not a Hollywood stylist but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that all items of clothing go off the same way they came on. As for the specific anatomical details of how a star might use the lavatory while wearing a skintight floor-length paintedon gown, well, you asked. Many of the stars wear shape wear such as spanx under their gowns in
lieu of underwear and many of those shape wear options include openings in the middle for stress-free nature calls. Niaje Bitch, I was watching Sakata on Citizen and well, I wasn’t impressed with what I saw, the presenter and the judges all seemed plastic to me and I thought that it was the worst possible show that has ever hit the airwaves. Don’t you agree? Anto, Katchez Anto, I shudder to think of what you might call a good production. Get it through your thick skull that you don’t live in a play station game where everything is seemingly perfect and unreal especially since the art of producing is still being refined in Kenya! AB.
Feb
AB, I sat down the other day and realized that the reason you are so cranky is because all these fools who write to you ask really dumb questions, am I right? So I’m going to ask you something I’m sure everyone is dying to know. Who is the shadiest celeb we have in Kenya? Anita, St.Angela’s Anita, I don’t know how you figured that your question was the smartest one but I’ll give kudos for one thing, you caught my attention. To answer your question; aside from moi are there even celebrities in Kenya? So I guess all the wannabes fall under the shady category including your shady self for thinking that they are celebz. AB Hey Bitch, I know it’s past
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Valentine’s and all but what is your idea of a romantic date? I want to take my chic out for a date during the holz and well she really likes your column. So c’mon pliz give a hommie some tips? Frank, (204) Dear Stupid, It’s almost as though you’re testing me to see just how painfully I can punch. What do I look like, Aunty Betty? Or (God Forbid) your big sister, urgh! This is not one of those retard help columns in newspapers and tabloids. AB.
K24’s Louis Otieno
mentors Louis Otieno and Rama Nyang’. Could you please hook me up with them? Martin, Mac Bee Martin, Good for you (and a million other idiots) plus why in the hell are you telling me this? I know I got the hook ups but what do you take me for the yellow pages?! Here’s some free advice, make a head start on your journalistic ambitions by fishing for the hook up yourself. Nkt! AB.
Hi Bitch, I really want to be a journalist. It’s always been my dream and I know that one day I will host my own talk show like my KTN’s Rama Nyang’
Too hot for T.V.
word play
Artist(s): P-UNIT & NONINI Intro (Nonini)
nakuambia Musyoka jo yaani hii mwaka umepeleka hawa watu mbio yaani it’s about time yaani tume-low down kidogo naeza hata anza ku-rap bila beat yaani ni funny vile mwaka moja kundi imeleta matata awards tuna-dominate na ma-show manze kila mara
Verse 1 (Nonini)
maajabu ya Jah Jah na Godfather mi niko hapa bado baada ya miaka kumi wee uko nyuma kule uta-do, sue me strategy ndio jina jo
wee mchezo jamaa ame-doze, kwani hamnanga uwezo ya ku-think badala ya ku-waste ink video hata hazinanga ma-lipstick msupa Lady Bee akaletwa na wagenge! kule sauti tudame tunapiga kelele hapa kule, chakula tamu, shika ule, na ni bure shika ule, na ukumbuke, usisumbuke, ukumbuke next time utakuwa umesimama katikati ya jamii watiaji... na wasanii kumbuka akili iko mbele kuliko hao wote
maduwa...maduwa... maduwanziii!
(Frasha)
maisha yangu siku hizi hapa kule, toka shule toka town, mpaka Athi, mpaka Macha, hapa kule mimi yule yule, yule hustler! nasaka ganji hapa kule, familia nayo kule toka kitemba kakile toka nyuma mpaka mbele mafans piga kelele kwenye klabu hapa kule, hapa kule kwenye klabu hapa kule, hapa kule, twende kazi
Chorus 4x hapa hapa hapa hapa
kule, kule, kule, kule,
hapa kule, one touch! hapa kule, one touch!
Verse 2 (Buganya aka Gabbu)
hii story si sana sio poa na matym niko juu, matym niko down, matym, niko hapa kule namshukuru mola yule Punit si tuko mbele tunakam na ngoma kali ka Mdoe nauliza swali nina kitu tamu ka asali juu mi ni Gabu, mi ni Gabbu Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga,
Artist(s): 50 Cent
You think about money when you think about me huh, Thats what my ex, my ex you don’t want to be her, She used to have the beemer, now she own a sneaker, I had her eating lobster now she eating pizza, I think about easter
when I think about Keyshia, Shorty stay fly thats why I keep her, Round like the reefer, brown Mona Lisa, She good if I leave her she got her own visa, Think about them when you about frontin Think about stuntin when you think about me, I’m the boss bentley or the porsche, Overseas jet skis slide across, I love the way you dress, Now take it off, Put your legs high on my shoulders across, Im racing through your mind but you already lost, Im at the finish line and
Feb
Song: Hapa Kule
Gabbu
na bakora kama kanjo kuwai bado Gabu, mi ni hawker tao akinyora Frashaaa! na hawker bado siku hizi huwezi kula tu akaora... hapa kule kamdudu kaa kando mbali na nako kako tu vurugu hapa kule wee jichunge cucu aliniambia ndio kwa viatu juu ya kadudu kukaa sugu ukirarua itabidi unajua life lazima matym ni kabla kuvua chunguza chungu tabia vumilia tumia akili yako ka unampenda funga kama rungu naye ndoa Bon’eye survivor, kijana marafiki naishi nao poa wa Mungu wanafiki nyanya na mama kama nilishawadondoa Obama kimziki najua ntatoboa- na ndoto za baba oa-oa kwa mic napiga Musyoka, hii verse masamaa itaisha aje? ma ma ma... Repeat Chorus 4x kijana ashakomaa Verse 3 (Bon’eye mdomo unashangaa aka Bonnie) wakinishangaa, hapa kana kanikora kuna kule, hapa kulee! korakora Repeat Chorus kumbe kora ni wakora till fade
(Frasha)
Song: Do You Think About Me your the friend of mine, Come on lets ride
bread, Thats some f-cked up sh-t [Chorus] Think about that kid, Just a lil bit I’m thinking what this Every now and then b-tch thinking when she God damn girl we used take me to court, to be friends I pay my child support, Just a lil bit what the f-ck she want, Just a lil bit This relationship, shit Just a lil bit its too much for me, I wanna f-ck your [Verse 2] friends and live I think like a hustler, comfortably Im thinking bout a She wanna shine shipment, and blow minds on She thinking I’m haha, shopping sprees, So she thinking bout She should have what commitment, she wants just not for Its like paul Mc Cartney me, stuck in my head, Im thinking bout my Fell in love with a b-tch future she part of my walked away with one past, leg, She don’t care bout She aint even have to me she just want some run to get away with the cash,
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Im thinking damn girl, we used to be friends, How did sh-t become all about m’s
[Chorus]
Just a lil bit Every now and then God damn girl we used to be friends Just a lil bit Just a lil bit Just a lil bit Do you think about me, I know you think about me, Just a lil bit Just a lil bit Just a lil bit I know you think about me, You were so special to me Do you think about me
Too hot for T.V.
one one
Jamhuri’s Big Move
Jeffrey Kimathi
You know him as the man behind Jamhuri Wear, founder, C.E.O and designer. So how exactly did Jeffrey Kimathi strike gold in one of the world’s toughest fashion industries; New York? Seven years down the line his hustle has grown from more than just a T-shirt line but an internationally recognized brand . iMC: Did you always want to have a career in fashion? Kimathi: No, it just something that I transcended into. Soon after I had cleared high school at Chogoria Boys way back in the day I really wanted to become a journalist but that didn’t work out. I then flew out of the country to pursue other things. I’ve tried my hand at quite a lot and somehow always found myself quitting. Fashion was a hobby at first but after around two years I knew that
Jamhuri was really what I wanted to do. iMC: Why did you settle on the name Jamhuri wear? Kimathi: I was reading on Dedan Kimathi and Ngugi wa Thiong’o at the time. Jamhuri is a reawakening of Africa; a celebration of ourselves as Africans. Jamhuri Wear as a clothing line is HipAfrican. iMC: Was it easy to break into the market? Kimathi: Nothing comes easy there is always a lot of hard work involved. I interned for Ecko for three months and they called me back for a job and I was there for three years learning everything I could from marketing, PR to design before deciding that I was capable to break out on my own on my own. iMC: How did you get A-List celeb names like Jay-Z, Ludacris, Akon and Damian Marley to rock
Feb
Jamhuri wear? Kimathi: (Smiles) I’ve been very fortunate but often when dealing with such big names there are no guarantees, you can only send in your stuff if they like it and it’s fashionable then they’ll buy more pieces. Such exposure is great for any designer because it puts you on the map. I’ve also had Suzanne Owiyo, Chameleon, DJ Pinye, Waweru, Point Blank, Kalamashaka, Churchill and Bamboo rocking Jamhuri Wear. iMC: You’ve decided to move back to Kenya what influenced that decision? Kimathi: It’s more like branching out because my business partner will be running our New York office. I have not been home for over 10 years and I felt it was time to come back. Jamhuri Wear is an African Sportswear brand thus I wanted to establish it here in my home country. iMC: What would be the average pricing for someone who’d want to rock Jamhuri wear? Kimathi: Around 2000 bob but it’s quality and you can always have something uniquely designed for you.
Jay-Z in Jamhuri wear
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wtf
Music With A Concept music scene with their distinct sound. True to the label name PENYA AFRICA is in essence a new East African sound as its unique sound has striked a chord with all age groups. Songs Wawero Kiboy such as Sauti Sol’s Penya Africa’s producer ‘Lazizi’ have become When it comes to the anthems from street live scene Penya Africa corners to dance has been successful floors. According to in delivering crowd producer Wawero thrilling performances Kiboy aka Wawesh both in Kenya and Penya Africa’s music Europe. With new and is influenced by the fast rising artists such choices, consequences as Sauti Sol, Dela, and challenges that the Stan, Just a Band and Kenyan youth face and recently TPF 3 winner the need to revamp the Alpha signed to this music industry. label these newcomers The artists sing with have been causing a message. 2010 ripples in the local promises to be great and international year for this camp
Sauti Sol live on stage
Akon in Jamhuri wear
teentainment at its best.
Teentaiment at its best
Check out whats been happening on the school scene Pg 38.......Fun Quiz Pg 39.......Ed’s Head
SNIPER
On The Prowl: Season 1 The Sniper’s prowling on the funkie scene was full of surprises this past month thus I’ve been quite busy and possibly naughty but not as naughty as the culprits who decided to air their not so clean linen at funkiez...
Episode 1 Location: N.I.S B-Ball Tournament On the surface the atmosphere seemed peaceful enough save
for the mutterings on how much the DJ sucked, however The Sniper soon discovered a feud that had reared its juicy head beneath the surafce. A certain ex-can from Buru apparently had it in her head that one charming young PB chic was out to snatch her “boyfriend”. Upon further digging The Sniper discovered that the truth behind the lad being the excan’s “mate” was what is commonly referred to as a grey area as the
“boyfriend” in question denied the association/ title. Insyde sources snitched to The Sniper that the young PBerian was nothing more than an old friend to the jamaa but the ‘scorned ex-can’ would hear nothing of it and kept tabs on the jamaa like a hawk. This must not have satisfied her much as she took up the matter with the young PB lass via a public threat of butt kicking should she be spotted anywhere near the said “boyfriend” ever again.
Changez Mean Maroon
Feb
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Say cheese...
sadly amongst these Jamaicans there happened to be one fellow who we shall refer to as Person A. The Sniper had the most ‘medulla oblongata boggling time (yes that difficult) trying to decipher whether Person A was male or female. Though he/she was by Episode 2 the rugby pitch most Location: Changez of the time this didn’t Open Tournament serve as a useful clue The Sniper was not as nowadays chics are prepared for the “assortment” that made perfectly capable of playing rudge. Just ask up the Changerians Statoe’s Sylvia (204) invitation list for this who came ready for particular soiree. The the girl’s rugby tourna invitations apparently only to find out that extended all the way the other gal skools to “Jamaica” and
The Sniper’s informants revealed that the dude heard of the petty and immature public confrontation, upon which he gave the excan the boot and word has it is still tighter than tight with the young PB lass.
Teentaiment at its best
SNIPER control the streets of Lenana. The Sniper was most amused by the Ditchez rugby flanker and 8th man who despite all the rules and regulations enforced in their confinement centre, came rocking impressive Mohawks! Not to be left behind the Jahmu lot amused me most because instead of parading
had chickened out. Anyway, what puzzled The Sniper even more is that Person A’s physical attributes could easily be placed on both sides of the gender divide; a hairy face with lady like attire (tights to be precise), even more confusing Person A seemed to enjoy the company of guys more frequently that the females!
Episode 3 The Sniper noted that Changez Open was more of ‘Makutano Junction’ especially for those skools that came as far as Maseno. This particular tournament was more about cats and galz show casing their vybing skills than the sports. The darting game was in full peak and there was lots of PDA going on. Statoe and Quabbz were on a rampage and The Sniper couldn’t help but wonder whether they were had a compe on who could score more guys by the end of the funkie (By The Sniper’s count the compe ended in a tie). East and West
chics around they were more content with waving around a certain “Louis Vuitton” bootleg bag. The Sniper is foreseeing a very eventful year and must insist that you all uphold your best behavior (not!) as you never know who may be lurking in the shadows.
Quabbz coming up with a game plan to dominate Statoe
Jahmu dudes with their prized “Louis Vuitton” bag But Statoe chics were having none of that.....
Changerians chaired the ‘makutano’ and especially this one Changerian who kept following a Pangoe chic (who wasn’t exactly complaining) until he eventually found a way to drag the Insyder picharazzi to where she was for a photo with her. N.I.S on the other hand
seemed to prefer being left in solitude behind “Tuk-umatt Junction” (the tuk shop).
Episode 4 Ditchez and Jahmu were ofcourse trying to stir the one thing they’re good at; beef. The rowdy lot seemed intent on battling it out for who would
Hemedi and company of N.I.S finding solace behind Tuk-umatt Junction
Person A: Fill in the blanks
Feb
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The Ditcherian mohawks that rocked Changez Open
37
Teentaiment at its best
heckler
Bonafide Trotting At Mang’u & Patch
B.G’s cheering squad
Looking fabulous as always I decided to hit Mang’u open. O.k., I’m not a sporty kinda chic but those desert boys had sent me piles and piles of invitations to grace their funkie and since I was feeling generous, I decided to honour them with my presence. Playing sports was definitely NOT part of my agenda so I decided to do what I do best: entertain myself by watching people make fools of themselves. The weather at Mang’u wasn’t exactly helping my swag (though jamaaz still had their eyes on me). It had just rained and the mud wasn’t doing me any justice in my gladiator heels. I had to watch my every single step though I couldn’t help but notice how the dudes from Mang’u relished in it. I know they are good in sports but was it really necessary to get all dirty and grimy to prove it? If it was a strategy to distract the other team then it didn’t work coz NPC Buru thrashed them (And they had the guts to cat call me?! . The Choxx versus B.G (Bishop Gatimu) was pure comedy, there was this chic from B.G who kept squealing every time the ball came her way and worse still she kept running away from the ball. I still can’t understand why she was even on the team, isn’t the whole point of hockey to use the ball to score? I have to admit that although B.G’s game was rusty their cheering squad was on point and damn! From their cheers (read screams) those chics must still be suffering from severe sore throats.
Feb
Choxx and B.G’s comic game
Choxx on the other hand had game on the pitch but off the pitch they were whack and their cheering squad kept chanting the tired “Game yako iko down tu sana,” phrase like retards and they even went as far as pulling some shady move to groove to this. Gitwe Gee on the other hand gave B.G a run for their money when the two cheering squads winded up practicing next to each other. Their version of ‘Bring It On’ involved screeching their lungs out and no moves to write home about, though an idle crowd of nobodies seemed to enjoy their random ridiculousness. Some smitten admirers (I’d say secret but they were a bit too obvious) from some bunduz skool, kept trailing me and despite shooing the pests away they just kept coming back clearly stalking must be a subject at their skool. They tracked me down at the pool side where they pretended to be gambling with one bobs and one of them even had the nerve to address me with a “Hi, unajiskia kucheza?”! Mang’u should really look into catering for the ladies because chics competing in the swimming gala had a really hard time changing into their costumes. Dudes kept ‘accidentally’ walking into the improvised changing rooms while the chics were changing. Good thing a T.A came to sort out the matter. Evidently one Ma’Hill chic in particular seemed to be basking in the attention. As soon as she’d competed she kept strutting around the skool in her costume even to the tuck shop, talk about attention seeking.
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One bob gambling at it’s peak
After a while of witnessing the pathetic attempts for my attention Mang’u became a drag so when my political connects from Patch tipped me off about a funkie going down in their skool, I was so outta there. I fikad Patch a bit late but I still got to see my bwoy Ulopa thrilling the crowd. Code Red peeps were in the house and CHAT nominees Black Blingers dancers proved they deserved the nod. The Patch funkie was exactly what I needed to end my expedition with a bang and I must confess the company wasn’t so bad.
It’s a hardknock life for 104s in Mang’u
Chic didn’t want to put on some clothes
Teentaiment at its best
Ed’s head
Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You Hi Ed, I really love this column and I need your advice on something. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months, he’s attentive, loving, kind and sweet yet I always get the feeling that he’s not quite telling me everything. I feel like we don’t really talk because sometimes because I’ll ask him questions and he’ll just mumble something back. What should I do? Njeri, South C If you think there are things your boyfriend is not telling you, then you’re probably right but trust me, you don’t want to hear or know EVERYTHING that is going on in your guy’s head. However, that does not mean that he’s hiding some deep secret from you. Truth is there is a silent code of things that most guys will keep to themselves for a very good reason
If You Really Do Look Fat/Whack The one question that most dudes expect to be asked 365 days in a year is: Do I look fat? Luckily we’ve discovered that both answers have repercussions. Constantly belittling yourself is not attractive.
If You’re Pal Is Really Pretty No sane jamaa will
ever admit that you’re pal is hotter than you (even if she really is). Please refrain from putting the poor fellow in a tight spot. He’s with you not her.
Family If the jamaa really likes you, his family’s opinion of you won’t count and he also won’t share his dislike for your roots in a negative way. However, if you sense that there is a problem between your jamaa and your/ his family, talk about it.
What Actually Goes On At Boys Night The conversations, the video games, do you really want to be a part of that? Just like you need your friends, your boyfriend needs his. Don’t throw a fit if you aren’t invited to these, you wouldn’t want him tagging along with you and your galfriends to
Angelina Jolie is insecure about Brad’s ex-Jeniffer Aniston because Brad hasn’t told her evrything
your soirees.
His Past girlfriends/ Past Relationships in detail This right here is the golden rule because it will only lead to an argument. Leave the past in the past after all have you been totally honest on all the details of your past relationships. Dudes don’t like to feel like they are being interrogated. If they trust you, they will talk to you about personal issues and they will be there for you, too. There are many things that your boyfriend won’t tell you at least out loud however if you listen and watch closely you may begin to pick up on things he’d like you to know but avoids discussing to prevent tension or arguments.
If You’re Being Too Clingy
Oscar Award nominee Monique is big beautiful and loving it
Feb
Hanging all over the person you love isn’t going to keep them from leaving you; it’s going to make them
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want to leave. A relationship needs balance; people need to be themselves to be together. There are times and places for affection and cuddling, avoid the PDA and remember you’re his galfriend, and not his mother.
If His Friends Don’t Like You
All jamaaz want their galfriend to get along with their boyz, that way everything is just right. Don’t worry if they don’t like you right off the bat because if it doesn’t work out their opinion won’t change how he feels about you. Ed Tha Dude
“A jamaa will never tell a chic if he’s playing her and about his previous chics”
DNG
“He’ll never tell you if he thinks your pal is hot or if he has a crush on another chic”
Q-ta-c
WHAT EVERY GAL NEEDS
What every gal needs
Pink Diary: Find out what the Galz are up to Pg 42-43.....Street Style Pg 46..........Strictly Siz Pg 48..........Superchic
HOROSCOPES
Pisces, Get Ready To Make A Connection PISCES (February 19 -March 20)
You’re likely to encounter someone who appreciates you in a way that injects enthusiasm into your life. The energy between you two may lead to a
passionate as well as idealistic relationship.
ARIES (March 21 -April 19)
You have the right ideas but you won’t express them properly. You’ll tend to give out orders and
this won’t be appreciated by others. To avoid misunderstandings, be as loyal and honest as you can.
TAURUS (April 20 -May 20)
You’ll be stubborn and will want to do everything your own way. You’ll be loathe to accept advice from others especially superiors. You’ll have to change your ways if you want results.
GEMINI (May 21 -June 20)
You are newly inspired as positive friendships develop. Your loved ones will express how they feel about you and their encouragement will help you feel more comfortable about expressing yourself romantically.
CANCER (June 21 -July 22)
Eva Longoria Born February 15th 1975 This Desperate Housewife is no quiet Pisces blending into the background -- she’s a natural star who shines wherever she is.
Feb
You will feel empowered as you make positive adjustments in your spiritual and emotional integrity and once you realize that you’re an amazing being you’ll grow by leaps and bounds.
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LEO (July 23 -August 22)
Tiredness will make you slightly less reactive than usual. You should take some time out to reflect on what you want and need.
VIRGO (August 23 -September 22) You’ll find yourself connecting with people effortlessly as your warm-hearted actions will be acknowledged and radiated back to you in a way you’ve never experienced before.
LIBRA (September 23 -October 22)
Resist the influence of certain people around you who don’t respect your fundamental values. Don’t believe everything they tell you as the golden truth.
SCORPIO (October 23 -November 21) You’ll tend to consider everything as a joke.
You’ll understand that your Partner will try to dominate you and you will react to this.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 -December 21)
You will meet an old friend who will have changed a great deal. You’ll find it hard to choose between two potential flames.
CAPRICON (December 22 -January 19)
You could never be defined as a materialistic person, but your desire to increase your freedom will result in more attention this month on the more material, physical, and practical areas of your life.
AQUARIUS (January 20 -February 18)
Don’t hide the truth simply ‘coz you want to avoid an argument with your Partner, find more creative ways to express yourself and love will blossom.
What every gal needs
GAL talk
Stretch Marks! Please Help Me! Hi Big Siz, My boobs have stretch marks on them and this really makes very self-conscious about what I wear. My pal said that all girls have them while they’re breasts are growing, and when they are all done, they will go away. Is this true? Brenda Hi Brenda, Stretch marks are pretty normal especially during puberty and it’s normal to feel self-conscious. Let’s learn some facts about stretch marks; stretch marks are formed as a result of the skin expanding too fast during puberty and pregnancy. These unsightly white lines are harmless scar tissues and are normal part of puberty for most girls
skin is required to do during the rapid growth that occurs at this time. When breasts begin to grow as a result of hormones kicking in during puberty, the new breast tissue is very tender. As the skin expands, the underlying tissue, which is delicate, can tear and result is the thin scars or stretch marks. Well, there are a variety of different treatment options, although their success can be impacted by your skin tone, your age, as well as the diet that you eat. For most adolescents the stretch marks adapt to their skin colour and with time, become unnoticeable. However if they don’t disappear you can consider using stretch mark removing creams and lotions. Before using creams/
high school where if you drop your pencil someone on the other end of the school knows. Well, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of ten months. After that I started to see a friend of his but we decided that it was a mistake. Now people are saying that I slept with him and calling me very nasty descriptive names. I don’t know what to do. I’m not the type to usually let people bother me but I find myself crying myself to sleep at night. I also have to deal with the fact that everyone loves my ex-boyfriend so they’re saying stuff about me breaking up with him. This is really depressing me, please help me. Maureen Maureen,
“As you grow older your body develops and this comes with lots of unique changes” and guys. Young girls and boys may find that they are developing stretch marks on their breasts, thighs, hips, butt, and even on their backs as they go through puberty. This is caused by the stretching that the
lotions it is important to visit a doctor so that she/he can recommend the safest one to use. Yours truly, Big Siz
Hi Big Siz, I go to an average
Feb
You must be going through a very difficult time but unfortunately we can’t always control how other people view you or what they say about you, but you can influence how people make you feel about yourself at by knowing
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your values and believing in yourself no matter what. I appreciate the fact that you understand that what is happening should not bother you, so don’t let it pull you down. Crying will not change the situation; it will only affect your self esteem and studies. I’m sure there are people or friends who believe in you, I will encourage you to try spending more time with people who don’t make you feel bad about who yourself. It might help to try talking to this guy that you supposedly slept with to help clear the rumours. The fact is that you know the truth, what you did and what you didn’t. The truth will eventually come out. Meanwhile collect yourself and concentrate with other meaningful activities. My suggestion to you is that just be yourself and take life in a positive way. Focus on what you want in life rather than what people are saying about you. Always, Big Siz Hi Big Siz, I recently got a boyfriend and though we agreed to wait on having sex because I’m not ready for it plus I’ve never really been given the sex talk, I’m
sure there are lots of other chics who have questions on this. Lucy Small Siz, I’m glad that you’ve chosen to share your question with me. Sex is still very much a taboo topic between parents and their kids. First off there are obvious anatomical differences between boys and girls that leads to sexual intercourse. You must also understand that unsafe sex comes with consequences like unwanted pregnancies and, HIV AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. People have different values regarding sex. There are some who feel that they should wait till marriage to have sex, while others are comfortable engaging in sex even before marriage so it’s important to know what your values are and stick to them.Before engaging in any sexual activity it is important to understand what it means to have sex and why. If you are not ready as you said then it doesn’t hurt to wait until the right time. This means you will be able to fully take the responsibilities that come with having sex. One luv, Big Siz
What every gal needs
STREET STYLE
Clutch CULT s.
Smaller bags have returned in the form of clutch bag accessorie
The clutch bag accessory comes in many sizes.Texture and colour are very essential when buying clutch bags choose either bold and bright or soft and pretty colours. Black bags are a favourite because they are all purpose; for night and day. Whatever clutch bag you choose must contrast your clothes and match your footwear wear some matching metal earrings and bracelets.
All C Ksh lutch b s. 1 500 ags ar e av at Jam Today ailable ia M ’s Fa f shio or all n,
Never stuf Its hea f your clutch v value. ier look may bag excessiv R ely. you ca emember, it mar its fash io n thru is n n ot som ething all you st your vanit y r make up at h box into. D o ome o nly.
Damage: Clutch bags are readily available in town at pocket friendly prices, a new clutch goes aa mtush clutch goes for between Ksh.200-800
Do you want to be an Insyder Street Style Model? All you have to do is email a recent snapshot of yourself to yuaholla@theinsyder.com or join our 42 page The Insyder Magazine and post a photo2 of0yourself 1 0 on the wallpage with the title ‘iModel’ and include Your name, Age and School.
Feb
fan
What every gal needs
Never c wearin arry a clutc h bag g boo wh ts whene ver yo or ballet fla en you are u feel bag, a ts. Ra th im for th achiev a fash e need of a er, ionab ed wit le loo clutch h and p k this latform heeled sh can b o e s too e can b s, wedge s e char h ming. oes
A great way to work toward downsizing your bags and ease towards using clutch bags even during the day is to use a small clutch (much like a money purse wallet) from a larger tote bag.
Feb
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What every gal needs
fun quiz
Discover Yourself
Most teeniez dream about being celebs in future, but are you really fame material? Try out this fun quiz to find out. START
NO
Do you refuse to leave the house unless you’re looking fabulous?
NO
YES
NO
Do you constantly practice dance moves and different facial expressions before a mirror?
Would you dump your boyfriend if your friends were constantly making fun of him?
NO
NO
Sucker for fame
Lady Gaga
The likes of Rihanna and Beyonce are no match for you coz you’ll soon be giving them a run for their z mullar.Best of luck co ly us vio ob you’re are stardom material though you better watch out coz you don’t want to end up bile h wit nothing but a mo d phone for a frien
Feb
B
Is Being on Big Brother Africa your idea of fun?
YES
NO
NO
Do you prefer working in a group?
YES
Limbo dancer
You’re down-to-earth and wouldn’t step on your friends to make a name for yourself .You’ve a charm and confidence to enjoy fame though you d better work more on your appearance coz with fame, image is everything. Beyonce Goodluck! 44
2 0 1 0
NO
NO
Do you accept criticisms as well as you do compliments?
NO
YES
Are you always on the front line whenever there’s a camera about?
YES
Are you always the first to get the latest fashion trends?
YES
NO
NO
Do you get jealous when your friends get better grades than you at school?
YES Is your mobile phone and your most treasured possessions?
If you fall down in public do you easily get up and laugh it off?
YES
YES
YES NO
NO
Do you mind stepping on other people’s toes to get what you want?
YES Do you get lots of friend requests on facebook?
Do you keep your cool under pressure?
YES
NO
YES
A
YES
Do you suffer from stage fright?
YES
C
Laid back sista
Spot lights scare the pants off you and to you, celebrities are aliens who only belong in the planet of creeps. Apparently,fame is not your thing and so you better move on to plan B
Ogopa’s Brenda
What every gal needs
GUY TALK
I Hate My Teacher Niaje Biggie, I just got suspended from school and the reason is because of this teacher that I absolutely hate. I wrote that the teacher “is a bitch” on my math book cover and she walked by my desk and took my book out from where it belonged and started to read the back. I care that I got in trouble and everything but I don’t care that I offended her because I cannot get over my hate and dislike for her. What should I do? Simon Niaje Simo, Man! I strongly discourage you from using offensive words like bitch. You seem quite comfortable with calling your teacher the B word. I wonder what you would think if your mum or sister was referred to as “that bitch”. Disliking someone does not qualify you to disrespect them. Sorry for being so hard on you. I know that there’s no law that says you have to like everyone and everything you come across but you have to understand that if you don’t respect other people who will respect you? You just have to embrace whoever is significant
and can bring a change in your life. Please understand that you need the teacher and not the other way round. This simply means that that you may not like the teacher but you need to pass Maths as a subject if you’re looking forward to a bright future. The ball is in your court because she’s just doing her job. So are you willing to change your attitude? The moment you do you will have the urge to work hard in the subject she is teaching. However, if there is negative attitude, it will be a challenge to you to even go to her and
Hi Biggie, I really like my friend’s girlfriend and I think she likes me because she started telling me how good looking I was on Facebook and that if she didn’t already have a boyfriend, she would go out with me but she doesn’t want to cheat on her boyfriend. What should I do? Feeling Guilty, Ali Hi Ali You my bro are courting disaster because there are lines that should not be crossed and this is one of them. Our friend’s girlfriends fall
away from this chic because there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. If you’re really tight with your boy then let him know what’s up. Biggie Hi Biggie, My chic and I have been dating for almost eight months but lately I kind of feel like something’s not right how can I tell if she’s been cheating on me? Paul Paul, Relationships can be very tricky but at the end of the day it all comes down to communication. Take a closer look at your
“Disliking someone does not qualify you to disrespect them” ask for support in the areas that you would want to be coached. Please apologise to her and change your attitude. Remember you’re in school for just a few years then you’ll be out. Cheers Big Bro
Feb
under the category of forbidden fruit. The question here isn’t really about how she feels about you (that’s her problem) but more about what kind of friend you are and do you value your friendship with your pal? My advice, stay as far
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relationship to figure out what it is exactly that has changed, have you grown more distant with each other? It may not be easy but sometimes the best route is to face challenges head on. So talk to your chic about it here her side
of the coin. This will help you clear your doubts or confirm them, because there is really no way to tell if someone is cheating on you unless you catch them redhanded. If you both want to continue being in the relationship then work towards fixing your relationship, try spending more time together by doing fun things that you both enjoy to help you reconnect with each other. Biggie
Hi Fred, Don’t stress too much over this, the key is to relax. Chics are just normal human beings and it’s not like you’re proposing you just want to have a conversation. Fred you should believe in yourself and be confident enough to strike up a conversation. Start small ask one of your close pals to be your crutch, approach chics together and when you’re comfortable enough give him the signal to let you walk on your own. Biggie
What every gal needs
STRICTLY SIZ
Will Your “Love” Last? All new relationships start out with plenty of passion and excitement but how sure are you that he’s not in it just to score and if he’s really going to stick around afterwards or if you even want him to? Here are a few signs that will help you decide...
It’s Complicated If you’re not sure whether you’re in a relationship or not with the dude yet you always do the things that couples do. If he’s always avoiding making a decision when you bring up the “Talk”, start looking for the nearest exit sign.
Maybe-Baby If you’re guy is always saying maybe whenever you bring up long-term plans say six months down the line, then honie check yourself because the signs say that he isn’t planning to stick around that long.
You Haven’t Met His Friends If you’ve not met any of his friends and he’s not even thinking about introducing you to his family then consider your little hook up as a fling because a guy whose really into you will want everyone who’s important in his life to know how he feels about you.
There’s No Proof What does his Facebook relationship status say? Single? Well then, you’re in trouble because the only excuse for that would be if he was Brad Pitt
and he’s trying to keep the relationship under wraps from the paparazzi even then if a guy really loves you he’d want the whole world to know.
Sticky Fingers If he’ the type who always wants to touch and make-out when you’re hanging out, you’ve got a problem. Because no relationship is based on physical attraction, it fades and then he’ll move on to the next gal.
He’s Possessive A little jealousy is good in a relationship. FALSE. If you notice any jealous behaviour then run in the opposite direction.
Appearance & Bad Hygiene Whatever bugs you right away will haunt you increasingly later. Could be the way he dresses, his hair, tattoos, piercings, etc. Go with your gut feel on this kind of stuff. Everyone is on their
Splitsville: Nelly and Ashanti’s union came to a crashing end when he cheated on her
Valentine Cake House
Splitsville: Louis Hamilton and Nicole Scherzinger recently broke up
best behaviour when a relationship is new, so if you notice any evidence of poor hygiene early on, then it’s a safe bet that you haven’t seen anything yet.
His Way or No Way This rule applied in the dinosaur age but this is the 21st century so it’s either he gets with the
programme or you hit the highway. Ultimately anything you’ve noticed that bugs you a little right now is guaranteed to bug the daylights out of you in the future. There is absolutely no shame in cutting you’re losses as soon as possible rather than later.
To celebrate Daddy Owen’s birthday the I-Qru suprised him with a blackforest cake from Valentine Cake House.
l Blackforest Haven The Rea
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Tha Teeniez Voice!
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Editorial Kru
Nelson ‘Sly’ Isiye, Maureen Kask, Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive
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Marketing Team Carol Kariungi Anne Kigathi
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Ann Ngigi Corporate Affairs Jimmy Mumina Distribution Thomas Mwangi Design Distribution Nation Courier Printer Colourprint Ltd
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Ann Ngigi • Adam Nyakundi Ngaruiya Githegi
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What every gal needs
SUPER CHIC
The Art Of Endurance Veronica Wanjiru goes about her day at Kamu like any other student, she attends all her classes, is an active member of her school’s drama and debate clubs, she’s also the head girl at her skool but there’s more to this superchic’s cheerful demeanor than meets the eye because unlike most teeniez life has forced Vero to take on a mountain of responsibilities. she accepted. Things knew of her mom’s She managed to took a turn for the whereabouts. convince her host/ worse as her host was guardian to pay negligent, Vero was “I was happy and the enrolment fee relieved to see her alive often caught up doing necessary for her to chores for her host and start skool. Sadly that but at the same time often went hungry, she I was angry at her for is the only payment abandoning us the way was constantly in and that has ever been out of school due to she did,” she says. made to the school school fees arrears and despite Vero studying Her mom didn’t explain to get by she started there for almost a year. doing odd jobs like the reasons behind She attests the reason braiding and washing her disappearance but why the administration clothes around the insisted she still had has not chased her hood. unfinished business away yet to her good in Nai and she wanted grades, exemplary When she’d started Vero to go back to conduct and the Kitale with the promise adapting to her hope that she’ll get a new life she was that she would be sponsor soon. transferred to a skool sending money for in Nyahururu. The their upkeep. A She’s intent on teachers and students request that Vero finishing skool and there misunderstood adamantly refused so pursuing a career in her reserved nature they stayed together medicine. Vero still and polished speech and lived with her does odd jobs to for high handedness mom’s friend but support her family, and when she couldn’t unfortunately around though she’s worried bear it anymore and four months later her that she may not be stood up for herself mom passed away able to register or sit she was speedily Vero swears up to for her K.C.S.E due to expelled for being today she has never the fee arrears and rude. Desperate to fully understood prays that a miracle continue her education the circumstances might come her way. surrounding her mom’s she sought admission Vero isn’t about to give up on her dreams from various skools death. and when she was just We at The Insyder The tremendous she came back. Nine about to give up Kamu None of her relatives admire her for change in Vero’s life months later that offered her placement offered to support her tenacity and began almost four only proved to be an in the 2009 form 3 her and her sister, so perseverance. We years ago when she’d empty promise as no when her mom’s friend class. wish her the best. just joined Moi Girls one had heard from offered to care for her Nangili as a fresha her mom. In that time and she was sent back Vero was forced to Do you think you display the attributes of a FAY Confidence chic or home due to fees quit skool and take up do you know anyone who deserves this title? All you have to do is arrears. At the time her odd jobs to support write in to us and tell us why you deserve to be in this column. Fill family (mum, small siz her younger sister and and grandma) lived in in the your details and attach this entry form and send it to BOX ailing grandma, it was Kitale and she arrived then that she made the 51634, 00200, Nairobi and you could be a winner. home just as her mum bold move to travel name............................... school...................age.......................... was making a trip to a to Nai to look for her mobile no.........................e-mail.................................................. church seminar in Nai ‘prodigal mother’, and she assured her upon arrival in Nai she This month’s winner is that she would sort was fortunate to meet V eronicah Wanjiru the matter as soon as a family friend who
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