The Insyder Digital - November 2010 by Marcus Itimu

CONTENTS What’s Sizzling This Month

Who do you think will bag the TPF4 5 milli jackpot?

Star Dust Cover Story Class of 2010 Confessions pg 32-33

Chronicles 254 Heckler pg 8

LISA

Ofcourse Paleki my long-lost big sister

Bonus! Sizzlin’ Ce’cile Poster

JIMMIE

Kenya got it again this time, Amelina by all standards

pg 24-25

Pink Diary Street Style pg 43

FTV Sniper pg 36-37

THOME Gaelle, she’s way too fly and talented

DALLAH BILL K-Denk...i gat your back dawg!

The iMC’s Coolest November Moments November 6th Alaine Concert

November 27th Always Dance-Off Rep ya skool galz! Get your groove on

Yeay!

So not co ol

Schools Unrest

Tamima

Lil’ Wayne Prison Release Young Mula baby!

Violence is not

Holz!!

the answer

Party Safe

Hi, It’s that time of the year again when we have to say goodbye (sniff...sniff). 404 Class of 2010 you shall truly be missed and in honour of the huge leap that you’re about to make as you go on into the world to become citizens; we’ve dedicated this

Main Feature

issue to you. Cover Story M.O.G - The Bestthe Of bad and We’ve scanned skools for confessions on the good, Both Worlds the ugly to wrap up your high skool experience in style. Enjoy! We also got the hook up with Jamaican artist Ce’cile, check out the exclusive interview and mega poster to match. And ofcourse your monthly dose of teentainment from all the hottest funkiez. P.S. Holla all your feedback on the magazine on Facebook and we’ll definitely work harder to keep you teentained. iMC

l coo es Tr

On The Cover: Diana Wangeci (Statoe) & Allen Ochieng Mr.Highie 2009

Making The Cover

The Insyder Offices:

Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com

a l l o H Yua Upgrade Our Swag

Wassup i-Qru, Chuo yetu is like one of the hottest down here in Nyanza and we feel that we need your touch to get our swag back. I guess it’s quite early to invite you to our annual K-Bee open tournament which will take place on first Sato of Term 1. Big-up to the whole Insyder crew for work well done. Pliz just hit me back. J.B Kisumu Bee

If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill... Hit us up on: yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002, Online: www.theinsyder.com

Art Corner especially Your mag is just the coolest e. Please tur fea to get o als s since the fan p kee the fire check out my drawings and blazing! Cyprian B.K. Mac Bee (204)

Hi J, The early bird always catches the worm. iMC

You Rock!

Niaje i-Qru, We really love your mag because it helps teeniez a lot. My crush gave me lots of XOXO when I gave her The Insyder Mag as a birthday gift. Norman Romeo Kosgei UG Hae Sweet! iMc

connect Ann Wanjiku De October cover is hot en de poster of Alaine is mambo bad Collonizer Damain Czla It’s time the Answr B**ch met da main dawgg...MEEE!!!!! John Alejandro Flinstone Murang’a Hae has officially changed its name 4rm MU-HAE 2 RAHIL (newest swag)

bomb!mwaaaaaaaaaaaaahest! Jennifer Meitei Manze ya raodi hii ni mambo bad, kip it alwayz hot.au siyo? Njenga Joseph Hey!!! It’s gud that we’ve found u, plz produce more copies that we’ll enjoy even us in Kisii mostly in Tuskyz supermarket.... poa? Good work.

Babie Hawttex Da insyder is da Search: The Insyder Magazine on Facebook and become a fan to connect with The Insyder Magazine..

Rembe

slang’r corne

Via email Tom Gakure MFA its MFA gotea all the pips. Hit our skool this time round Dennis Kiumo Koelel rtained with the doppest Thanks 4 keeping us teens ente . Kudos i-Qru. you te bra mag. We shall live to cele

Beberu

Origin: The streets of Kianda derived from the word mbele

Origin: The streets of Njoro Gee derived from Swahili word meaning colonizer

Meaning: Mbele

As used in a sentence

1. Simu ya huyo dabus iko rembe

Meaning: Bad Manners

1. Bana wacha ubeberu, ukiomba kitu yamsee rudisha!

Your local Inteenet

Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........T-9 Playa Prezident Pg 10.......Word Play Pg 12.......Action Reaction

EVER WONDER 5

weird baby names:

If Paloma of ‘In The

Egypt Dauode, really

Name of Love’ was

7. Where is Habida? 6. Did

16 when shooting

she follow the celeb

does that make her

band-waggon when

co-star (Emiliano) a

naming her baby gal?

paedophile?

Alicia Keys?

all the love scenes,

5. Shouldn’t Shakira’s hit song ‘She-Wolf’ be the theme to Citizen TV’s She Wolf soap?

4. Beautiful Disaster 21. With all the

Would rapper Cannibal

B & Turbulance’s

releases hasn’t Lil’

have enjoyed eating

‘Real Warrior’ be the

Wayne been the most

Lady Gaga’s meat

official tune for the

productive in-mate

dress?

20.

15. From pa..

Shujaa Day national

11. If Justin

pa..pa..pa parrazzi to

holiday?

Is anyone really

po..po..po..po.poker

Timberlake started

surprised that Missy

face to Ale..Ale

a line of watches,

Elliot married a chic?

Alejandro, does Lady

would the slogan be

19. Is Miley Cyrus the

Gaga stammer?

new Britney Spears?

Nivea and Katy Perry;

9Con been conned

18. Is Willow Smith

who swag jacked

9 times?

on the planet?

a younger version of RihRih?

17. If Nicki

is the Black Barbie is Drake her Ken?

16.

who?

14.

13. Shouldn’t

Facebook introduce a Super-Like option?

12.

And should Anthony

Nov

‘Just-in Time’?

10. Has

9. Blankets

& Wine, Shukaas na Juice what next Cribs na Uji?

8. What’s

with celebrities and

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(Kelly Clarkson), Beautiful Liar (Shakira), Beautiful Nightmare (Beyonce), Beautiful Monster (Neyo), what next; Beautiful...?

3. Which

track will you beba; Ma3’s Beba Beba or Susan Owiyo & Jua Cali’s Beba Beba?

‘Hits Not Homework then ‘Vibe City show’, is Joey the successor to Eve’s throne?

Your local Inteenet

T-9 Playa PreZIdent

Facebook Hook-Up Rules Niaje Playa Prezo, There’s this chic that I’ve been vybing for a while and we recently had a fight about my Facebook activity. I’ve tried talking it out but she thinks that I’m being insensitive by not changing my status from single to in a relationship, she also thinks that I have too many female friends and she even wants my password to prove that I have nothing to hide. Why is she making a huge deal out of nothing, please help a young playa out? Greg Young playa your first mistake was to

makes you an easier target. The trick is

tagging you or upload photos that you

dismiss this as a small issue, because like it or not Facebook rules! That’s why there are rules to guide all playas on how to relate with chics and avoid making Facebook a war zone. Yours is a case of lack of online affection chics dig it when their crush/ dude posts some witty comment on their wall.

to never engage groupies in a manner

did not authorize.

Friend Request

The surest way to kill a relationship is

are very nosy and will accidentally snoop

to be glued to your phone, constantly

your inbox/chat conversations.

If you’re serious about a chic avoid

updating your profile and checking out

that can be considered as flirting and that will make your chic jealous or suspicious. That’s why the delete option is there use it.

Password Do not, I repeat do not under any circumstance save for taking vows

Facebook Addict

infront of a priest divulge your Facebook password. Always log-out because chics

sending or

your friends when you’re hanging out

accepting any

Relationship Status

with your chic. Set limits.

Declaring to the whole world that you

friend requests until you get to know each other better because you’re personal life is littered all over Facebook and the surest way to kill your game/ other options is to show a chic too much too soon.

are in a relationship on Facebook is the

Groups

ultimate sign of ownership to chics. Once

The kind of groups that you join, fan

you change your relationship status to in

pages that you fan are an insight into

a relationship with … you can never go

your personality for chics and it may just

back unless it is a break-up. Avoid being

be the deal maker or breaker.

one of those losers who change their relationship status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘Its Complicated’ every

Photos Never ever put another gal as you’re

Groupies

profile picture unless you are related

All playaz have groupies and Facebook

because you’re chic will simply translate this to mean that she ain’t good enough to be your favourite. Avoid tagging her in photos that you and your boys think are hilarious your sense of humour may be offensive. Ask your friends to avoid

Nov

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other day.

Hey Galz! Come see the Always No Check Check Dance moves at:

Central Park (opp. Serena Hotel) on Saturday, 27th November 2010 8:00 a.m. till dusk There will be fantastic games to be played, a chance to meet cast & many prizes to be won... You can’t MISS this!!! “for entrance, bring an empty Always duo pack or receipt as proof of purchase ”

Your local Inteenet

CELEB SITE

CELEB 101 1. Kanjii getting down with Saintz dancers 2. Kenzo and fans 3. Tattuu looking awesome at Boma

4. Lyrical Supa Striker (or is it Superman ) Juliani 5. Papa Fololo mwenyewe showing peeps how to Kapungala

2. 4.

CELEB EVOLUTION: WAHU You’re favourite stars haven’t always been swagnificent, we’ll trace their roots to show you their evolution over the years and all the changes they’ve made to their images

3. 2. 5. 4.

Solve the equation to find out the real age of KTN’s Changing Times hunk Ian Mugoya?

> > >

The original number of housemates in Big Brother All Stars?

How old CHAT Awards will be in 2011?

Add the sum of A+B The original number of members in Kleptomaniacs

Subtract C from the sum of A and B Answers 14+9=23-3=20

FAME BY NUMBERS

Nov

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Your local Inteenet

word play

G INTERNATIONAL SON

Joint: RIGHT THROUGH ME Artist NICKI MINAJ Intro

You see right through me how do you do that sh-t how do you do that sh-t how do you do that sh-t how do you, how do yo, how do yo, how do yo

Verse 1

You let me win, you let me ride you let me rock, you let me slide and when they looking you let me hide defend my honour, protect my pride the good advice I always hated but looking back it made me greater you always told me forget the haters just get my money, just get my weight up know when I’m lying, know when Im crying it’s like you got it down to a science why am I trying, no you aint lying I tried to fight it, back with defiance you make me laugh, you make hoarse from yelling at you at gettin’ at you, pickin’ up dishes and throwing them at you why are you speaking when no-one asks you

CHORUS

You see right through me how do you do that sh-t how do you do that sh-t how do you do that sh-t how do you, how do yo, how do yo, how do yo, how do yo You see right through me You see right through me baby You see right through me how do you (do that) how do you (do that) how do you (do that)

Verse 2

what are we doing could you see through me cause you say Nicki and I say “who me” You say “no you” and I say “screw you” then you start dressing, and you start leaving and I start crying and I start screaming the heavy breathing but what’s the reason always get the reaction you wanted I’m actually frontin’, I’m asking you something yo, answer this question, class is in session tired of letting passing progression control my mind, capture my soul ok you’re right, just let it go okay you ride it, it’s in the can before I played it, you knew my hand you can turn a freak hoe to a (?) n-gga got the peep hole to my soul Stop, stop won’t you just stop looking through me cause I can’t take it no I can’t take it

CHORUS

Nov

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LOCAL SONG

Joint: Mtu Hivi Hivi Artist: Rabbit Sasa hii ni ngoma aina gani? Dice Entertainment mzeiya Kaka Sungura, we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi) hivi hivi we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi) hivi hivi we ni mtu, we ni mtu hivi hivi

(Chorus)

we ni mtu aina gani (gani wewe) haujali ata! ata ata kidogo we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi hivi) we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi hivi) we ni mtu aina gani (gani wewe) haikuumi ata! ata ata kidogo we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi hivi) we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi hivi)

Verse 1

mwenye nyumba kwa shingo yangu anadai Rabbit leta rent, namshow ntamlipa nikishalipwa my deni na dem yangu leo alikuwa nankam namshemeji anatoka akidai (we ni mtu aina gani?) nikawauliza ka watakula wakipiga tu mastories minapiga binja nikikata dania slowly huku napika wakaona panya kubwa jikoni wakadai ona (huu ni mtu aina gani?) dishi imeiva ile niliipatia sifa vile waliona panya wakadai wamesiba ati walikula kwa hoteli siunajua za njia sahizo najiaambia kwa kichwa (hawa ni watu aina gani?) vile walijitoa , mi siwezi waste dishi ntakuwa nikichemsha kila siku ya hii wiki walienda na maubao ninakula na ma hiccups dem yangu ananitumia text ati shemeji wanadai

(Chorus) Verse 2

nimeona movie tangu ngware series ka zote nimepitia phone book nimecall dem ka wote wanadai hawaezi kam home nakata simu nadai (hawa ni dem aina gani?) nikaogelea ka fish nikadunga ka kisu sipangi line kwa mlango nipate v.i.p juu kuna fan amelewa anasunbua(Rabbit uko juu!) ye ni fan poa lakini (ye ni fan aina gani?) natupa macho kwa sector nikisip kinywaji nikatumania debra kiswahili ikaingia ndani akadai ngoma zangu anapenda (wewe ndio Rabbit) halafu akauliza (we ni Mc aina gani?) mi ni ule udunda ka mzigo na swagger ni tele kabla nimtake away ka chipo akaniekea mchele nika k.o akaniperemba wallet akapata haina kitu mbele akadai!

(Chorus) Verse 3 (bridge)

haujali ata ata! na haikuumi ata ata! haujali ata ata! na haikuumi ata ata! we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi) hivi hivi we ni mtu hivi hivi (hivi) hivi hivi we ni mtu, we ni mtu hivi hivi mapolitician wana mchezo haujaona kwa telly wanasanya ganji sana na kwa parliament wanalala na baada ya miaka tano ni kura wanataka (hao ni watu aina gani, watu aina gani hao?)

Your local Inteenet

We all love to chew gum because it tastes great, smells great and is fun to chew during funkiez, but DID YOU KNOW there are other cool facts about chewing gum?

Nov

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Your local Inteenet

Kisumu Impala Sanctuary Kisumu Impala Activity Options range from nature walks, jogging, camping, sundowners and picnicking at the sundowner terrace overlooking the lake or several picnic sites ideal for weddings, parties, photo shoots, team building & small corporate events. The State House Lodge campsite situated within a fortified cove befitting royalty includes modern amenities that will ensure you have a night of comfort. Prices range from Kshs. 50 to Kshs. 200 for children and adults for park entry and camping.

Kisumu City’s best kept secret, Kisumu Impala is situated on the gently sloping shores of Lake Victoria. The sanctuary is a holding area for

animals which require special protection. Previously the focus was on a small herd of impala but the sanctuary now boasts of a variety of new

species which include caged lions, leopard, cheetah, baboons, hyena, jackals, bush duikers, buffalos and roaming zebras.

Ndere Island National Park

Ndere means ‘Meeting Place’ in Luo, according to Luo folklore, Kit Mikayi, mother of the tribe, rested up near Ndere after her long journey south down the Nile Valley. She found

beautiful scenery with distant panoramic view of Homa Hill on the South; its sister Island Mageta Island, the Lake Victoria and the imagination of Kampala beyond South Western Horizon. Hiking, walking, camping, team building, bird watching and the lush shoreline so traditional boat pleasing that she and rides, picnicking are her people stayed. some of the possible indulgences in the Activity Options park. The diversity The Rolling Homa Hill of birds both singing and Beyond and warders at Ndere Dotted with walking is great; common trails, the island offers water birds include

Nov

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African fish eagle, Hammer kop, and Goliath heron. Boat rides using community boats are organized around the island and other areas of visitors’ interest. Other boat rides can be conducted to cover the nearby sister islands. Sport Fishing and Game Viewing will bring you in close contact with the local fishing community. The touch is so thrilling that one gets the true feeling of a local fisherman as they try to compete for the biggest catch

near the island shore line. There is one campsite at Ndere mainland with modern amenities, if you want the complete outdoor camping experience There are two campsites at the island and three picnic sites. There are no facilities at either site, but water and firewood can be provided by the warden’s office on request. The price ranges from Kshs. 50 to Kshs. 300 for the vast activities. Be sure to join us at ‘Ndere’!

Your local Inteenet

Slammin’ To The NBA Three super talented (and lucky) teeniez from Kenya; Geofrey Oteki St.Austin’s, Ben Mungai (Jaffrey’s Academy) and Joseph Ouma won themselves golden tickets in an all expenses paid trip to slam in the NBA over the holz after participating in this year’s Sprite Slam. The three will be part of a bigger all African team made up of b-ballers with skills from selected countries in Africa. Gova Names: Geofrey Oteki (19 years) Skool: St.Austins Geofrey started playing B-Ball while still in prima in Riara and sharpened his skills throughout high school. He also loves swimming, playing soccer and tennis. He confesses that he was very surprised and honoured to have been selected as one of the lucky winners and hopes that his love for b-ball and his skillz on the court will earn him a scholarship to play in the U.S.A. His role model is star b-ball player Kevin Durant.

Gova Names: Ben Mungai Skool: Jaffrey’s Academy Ben started playing b-ball in 104 and came to really love the game. Before any game Ben always listens to Rick Ross’ hit track Push and some chilled music after a game. His all time favourite b-ball team is the Celtics and his role models are Michael Jordan and Lebron James. He hopes that b-ball will be his ticket to greater things.

Nov

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Too hot for T.V.

TOO HOT FOR T.V.

Take a look at what stars have been up to Pg 16................Gathirimu Project Runway Pg 20................Tala Gee Talent Day Pg 22................Funkie Vybe Show

ANSWER BITCH

Is Deuces A Redemption Song? neither am I celebintroductions. AB

Has Deuces reedemed Chris Brown from last year’s Rihanna bashing incident?

Hi AB, Do you think that Breezy has finally been forgiven by the public for the incident with Rihanna last year? His song Deuces has been such a success that he even did a collabo with T.I, Kanye West and Drake does this mean that Jay-Z & Rihanna have also forgiven him? Marshall Marshall, Why is this even relevant? When Rih Rih sang Please don’t stop the music, it was for business savvy peeps like Kanye know better than to mix business with pleasure. As for Rihanna & Jay-Z would you forgive me if I kicked you where it hurts most? AB Hi Bitch, Is the reason that you’re such a

Oecpt t S

Hi AB, Since at least one member of the Mathenge Family (Wahu & Nameless) have won an MTV Africa MAMA Award since the awards begun in 2009, should we expect 2010 to be any different?

Mercy Diva Mercy, Here’s a tip Miss Know-It-All, close your eyes, take a deep breath and wait for it......no matter how long it takes. Hopefully by December 11th you’ll either have an answer or there will be one less nosy person and more oxygen to go around. AB

bitch that you are always going through PMS? Anonymous Dear Stupid, Next time, leave your name and address, so that I can answer this question when my fist connects with your face. AB Wazzup AB, I really love your swag; I know you’ve got a lot of connections with celebz so I want to ask a small favour. Please hook me up with Avril, P-Unit & Juliani for a collabo? I’d really appreciate it. Your biggest fan. Evans Hi Evans, Get a life you leach, sucking up to me will get you nowhere. Reality check; I’m not a celeb directory,

2 0 1 0

Will the Mathenges (Nameless and Wahu) be lucky three years in a row?

z in tow n. Ch eck all the siz zli n fun kie ee as the i-Q ru hit fun wh ile the y spr rd to aa pho ma a d on ha s d zzi wa rep p the ir sko olz an to Th e Ins yde r pic ha ra ne sce the on z wh o we re out the pic s of tee nie it! at we re

SHOW YOUR PAPA RAZI SIDE BY URE COOL PICS FROM COOL TEEN IEZ. HAS DEDI CATE D A WHO LE PAGE To FEAT TO YUAH OLLA ATTE NTIO N: HIC PICS KENC YOUR IVE. IN MASS SEND IEZ ! KING TEEN CLIC ALL T N Atte NTIO MAAR DD FUN. GRAB A CAM AND STAR NG HAVI PALS YOUR & YOU OF OS SEND ING US COOL PHOT 200 NAIR OBI KENC HIC PHOT OMAN IA P.O BOX 5163 4-00

REAL TEENIEZ EAT REAL "KUKU"

GATHIRIMU’S PROJECT RUNWAY Too hot for T.V.

Bountiful beauty and maaard creativity was on display at Gathirimu’s Talent Day as their finest strutted down the runway in a bid to bag the title of Miss Gathrimu. It was an entertainment filled event from the beauties to the celebz who rocked the house and brought the audience to its feet. Check out the sizzling pix...

Jaquee and Tabs trying to outdo each other in a mic-holding contest

Diamonds in the rough

Alpha croons “Ruka! Ruka upate Insyder Tee...”

Gathirimu Galz sure got it right!.

Trapee clearly madechilling some girls it!! The KRUspondents with lose Raudy

Gathirimu’s Djs on the decks!

Kenzo was on fire!

These CDs were a bit too close for Maida’s comfort

Follow the leader leader...

Takeu Style featuring Ng’ang’alito and Gathirimu babes

Our hands go up...and they stay there!!.

Miss Gathirimu

Calabash gyal handing down her title

Smiles both Insyde and out

Lucy Magero (304) went from wearing

Nov

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headlines to being the headline

St Gee

2! Miss you all, cop hard manze tusho

Sellah (304) to Barbra (304) Bishop

Winnie Musembi (304) to Rit Njoki

Valerie Orina (204) to Daniel Kero

wasee wengine ati watu wa Thika Road

Okoth

(304) Loreto Kotteti

(204) Patch

ni machopi!!

I miss u big. Chop vipoa.

True pals can’t be forgotten.

Thax swiri 4 rockin my holz.

Elna (204) to Kisn (404) Changez

Jennipher Msedie to Tamasha (404)

Wesera (304) to Esther Peter (304)

Tracey (204) to Cyrus Mukhalla (204)

Chop hard lyf ain’t smooth. Mob lav!

Mama Nginah Gee

Ribe Gee

Jahmu

Valerie Orina (204) to Ivy Orina (Air

Siz, kalenda ni ya mwisho!! Chop

Manze umelost! W@ts up gyal? Cheer

Hey u take care. Chop hard.

Travels)

vinare!! Luv ya! Adios.

up!

Tracey (204) to Diana Mogoi (204)

Gal work hard & I miss you.

Ann (304) to Bingo Mwaveka (304)

Lilly (304) to Steve (Shanzi)

Pango

Mwizeirwa (204) to Remy( Naxx Bee)

Mang’u Bee

Da silence is becoming too loud!! Eeh!

The speed of our friendship outdoes

Bro, ur a true blessing . . . . wat more

Chop hard en you’ll achieve your

Clara (304) to Delroy (304) Kenny Bee

Bolt in the track. Pals 4eva. Chop hard.

can I say??

goals.

Ulikuwa wapi Dec? Chop vismarta!!

Winnie Musembi (304) to Nichols

Jennipher Mdamu (304) to Jared

Thanks sana for being a cool pal.

Amani (304) Patch Bee

Mdamu (404) Kenny Bee

Oda (204) to Pinky (204) Ngara

Still 2geda as friendz.

Woddaps cuz, I guess u have a stry2

Best Friend forever!!!

Lillian Mkuzi (304) to Alex, Dulla B,

tell me,haha! Study hard, candidate.

Naru Gee

Lillian, Mariam and Kevin (Bamburi)

Luv mob mpka…..

Carol M (204) to Jannifer (404) Karoti Gals

Friendship is a crib in heart,

Ann (304) to Rabu Galz

unbreakable by distance and

Luv u pple. Mchop vismatizo na mjifeel

You were born a winner and a winner

unchangeable by time. I miss u big

poa. U guyz gat da swag!?!

u’ll always be. Success cuzo!

guyz. Mob Luv!!

Winnie Cynthia (304) to Joshua (304)

Flo (204) to Lawrence Muriithi (404)

Jennipher Msedie (304) to Pato (204)

Maranda Bee

Kiambu Hae

St Barths

Mob luv Mwaaaah!

Knowing you has been my greatest

Eish cuz, kumbe u exist! The silence

Fatmah (304) to Immah (404) Bura Gee

pleasure, u r a jewel and a treasure.

is 2 loud. Punguza volume. Hope 2 c u

May God frm abv u 2 bless u, below u

Success in ur coming exams.

soon. Kudos!!

2 support u, b4 u 2 guide you, behind

Sophie (204) to Jimmy (404) Leshau B.

Wesera (304) to Janet (304) Star of the

u 2 protect u, beside 2 comfort u and

Luvin u is not hard, missin u is not

Sea (MSA)

inside you 2 sustain u. Chop smart!

hard, bt y is getting 2 c u alwaiz hard?

May 2day pave way 2 destiny am neva

Jennipher and Darleen (304) to Alfred

Luv u.

alone. Chop vinoma. Miss u!

M. Sunshine Sec. (SSS)

Shique (204) to Essy Wanjiku (404) St.

Lillo (304) to Grace Mbeyu (404) Bura

Blu be da sky abv u, smooth be da

Francis

Gee

road b4 u, cool be da breeze around

Hae cuzo, u’ve been n always be the

Chop hard cuzo. It’s ur last year in

u, may all da happiness be wid u.

best. Luv yah.

B.G. Luv ya!

(Punguzeni bei ya viatu)haha!

Carol (204) to Edu G (304) Njumbi

Anonymous to Fausta Murray Gee

Mercy Njoki (304) to Jaffar Ali (304)

Hae Skul

On da shore of lyf frenz r lyk waves.

Memoriez last foeva, neva die en

Meeting is sweet, parting is sad, I’m

They come and go but they touch u in

friends last forever, neva say gud bye!

sorry it had go that way.

such a way that a feeling of closeness

Chop sana.

Flo (204) to Erico (304) Njumbi

always remains there. Chop hard!!

J.lo (304) to Junior and Julius (404)

Aii swiry, c u break the silence.

B.F.Fs!

Uppah

Sophie (204) to Bush (204) Bishop

Gisel (304) to Nicholas Amani (304)

No one has eva died of studying.

Delanie Eldoret

Patch Bee

Mob luv.

Can’t bear the missing anymore.

Chop and get what u want. Cheerz!

Fatmah (304) to Fadhili Omar (304)

Shique (204) to Terence M (304)

Jennipher Msedi (304) to Jennifer T.

Uppah

Muhoho hae skul

and Christine A. (204) Loreto Convent

Chop hard. Pass greetings to your

Luving yah big tyme swiri. Mwaaaehst!

Valley Road

friends.

Rabu Gee (Bura)

Chop smart cuzos. Nawapenda sana!!

Darleen and Jennipher (304) to Tatina

A’ll c u guyz in April na tutapatana F.b

Manka (404) Bura Gee

Xemaz cuzo.

Mariagiselah (304) to Sharon (304) St

sunshines!!

Few people come into our lives and

Evelyne (204) to TRCS (class of 2008)

Teresa Gee (MSA)

Lillian Mkuzi (304) to Everlyn Mkuzi

make everything shine bt u r one of

Hey all you TRCS alumni. Nagotea the

Tru pals neva part, mayb in distance

(304) P.B. Riruta

those rare en splendid jewels who

class of 2008 yaani saa hii wako form

but not in heart. Chop hard.

Mob luv cuzo en chop sana. Luv ya!

make the whole jewel bright. Chop!

Camilla (204) to Wiyan B. (204) Maseno Mob luv bro. Chop hard. U r da best. Cokes (204) to Godwin (404) Raps Thanx 2 sana 4 being thea 4 me. Mob luv. Buddy to Sezy (204) Buru l.o.l St Gee Teenah to Mwas (St Gee) Mambo bad St. Gee Teenah to Katz (204) Have fun St Gee Buddy to Nela Sss (204) St Tee Drink n ma 2 step Silver (204) to Fiona Njeri (204) P.B Mobluv cuzo. I missed u. Silver (204) to Chris Oloo (204) Uppah Tek care andchop hard.

Silver (204) to Africa Kanyi (204) Ngara I still exist! Mob mapenzi. Silver (204) to Shirleen Mzirai (204) Quabbz Xowi I wasn’t available. Silver (204) to Erastus Gichuru (404) Catchez I know you’ll mek it cuzo. Camilla (204) to Cindy S. (304) Loreto Limuru Fwendz 4 lyf. Mobest luv. Miss u big! N’ chorp hardest. Mercy (204) to Joan Kimani (404) St. Annes Lioki Chop hard coz u da bestest!! Mercy(204) to Mary Kago (304) Senior Chief

Oda (204) to Clare (204) Matungulu

Jennipher Msedi (304) to Fans Form

Daqx (304) to Sharon (304) Bahati gee

Ajinsa (304) to Mary Wachera (304)

Gee

Four Bura Gee

U r such thief coz…..siunaelewa?

Loreto gee

Luv u so much. You are my heart’s

Candiea, nawapenda, maintain the

Johnny (304) to Ann (304) Statoe gee

Fwendz 4 lyf!!

desire. I’ll see u in Dec holz.

spirit of a hustler and da w\swagger

Fwendz?

Tom (304) to Sarah Wanjiku (304) St.

Nambale Bee

of a colleges kid! Na mko nyuu! Kudos.

Kennedy (304) to Lillian (304) Em Em

Hannah’s gee

Peter (304) to Emah Jalon (304) Kiss

Nipher (304) Immah, Hoglah and

Is vipi? Bonga bana!

U’ll alwyz be in ma heart!! Lol

Gee

Markyn (304) to Fess (404) Lornaz

If u only knew how much I luv u.

Gertrude (404) Bura Gee Najua ur drimz r so high, ova de

D. Sanchez (304) to Stella (304) Bush

Dreams N Ambitions! U can do it!!

Peter Weezy (304) to Gladys (304)

rinbow; so high. Luv u big! Kipit cool

gee

Denis (304) to Angie Gitz (204) Moi

un fresh!!

Niaje

Forces A.

Nangich

Mariagizella 2 da Insyder Qru

Tom (304) to Erick (404) St. Lawrence

Wats up!!!

Mwah!! I luv u to infinity.

Thumbs up 4 da good job u’ve done

Ope u’ll dome proud bro!!

Denis (304) to Pauline Wanjiku (404)

St. Mary’s Mims

entertaining us teens. Good work.

Lecxy (304) to Lillian (304) Em Em

Upperhill Secondary

Elaine ( 304) to Amboka (404)Shinerz

Keep it locked!!

Fwendz 4ever

Success!!

Bee

Jennipher Msedi (304) to Clara Kibz

Lecxy (304) to Vanessa (304) Boma

Syls (304) to Ivy (304) St. Claire gee

Always be there.mob luv!

(304) Bura Gee

Miss you big!

Fwendz 4 ever!!

Deskie ukitoka preps unipangie locker

Alex Angelo to Eileen (304) and Daisy

Markyn (304) to Kathleen (304)

Nyang’o Bee

pliz sawa! Al da best!!. Cheerz.

(304) Moi gee Eld.

Brownsville

Mac-Bee

Hop we’ll talk soon. Miss u big!

“Gurl, you leave me breathless nd yess

Lecxy (304) to siz (404) Akedi

I want it too!”

will see the gates of heaven. Miss u 2

Cyprian Kavita (204) to Patrick Kiswili

Rozy all da best in ur eggzam

Markyn (304) to Ruth (404) Nembu gee

sana. Mwaaaah!! xoxo.

(404)

Lecxy (304) to Amina (304) Em Em

“You go GIRL!!”

Best cuzo 4eva chop hard!!

I wan 2 b next 2 u gal.

Kisau Gee

Cyprian Kavita (204) to Trizzah Kanini

Vicky (304) to Joan Maina (304) Nagee

Githiga High

(404)

Ur silence is unbecoming???

Marion (304) to Edith Muthoni (404)

You can do it! Wish u all da best!!

Petero (304) to Serah Wanjiku (304)

Muthurwa Gee.

301

Nagee I appreciate ur fwendship. Chop hard!

Alfy (304) to Naomi (204) Kerugoya

John (304) to Erick Kamau (404) Starch

Girls

All da best!!!

I wuld swim across a crocodile infested

You are my vuvuzela wen u r with me. Success in advance.

Neville (304) to Faith (304) Eregi Gee If luvin u is a crime, then nobody

Lynda (204) to Adam (404) Changez All the best!! Kaggzville Lennox (304) to the Insyder, Thanks for keeping us entertained.

Chaggz Bee

Mukaa Skul

Vicky Sizzla (304) to Joan Guandaru

Gazzah (304) to Kanini (304).

(204) Choxx

river like thirst wildebeest of the Mara

(204) Nagee, Veronica Nisa (304) and

Remember to fulfill the promise you

to deliver you a rose.

Leila (204) Stato gee, Daisy (304)

made. Love you gal.

Felix Gazamaniac (204) to Angie Jolie

Marto (304) to Miriamu (404) Njoro

Ngara gee

Davis (304) to Loise (404) Mitaboni

(204) St.Teresa

Gee

Friends 4 Gee! Luv u all nd wish da

Gee

You’ll always be ma sweetest desire.

U r awesome. Thats true baby

best!

U r the only star in ma galaxy.

mwaaah!!!!

Dingdong (304) to Rosemary (304)

Sylxxer (304) to Abacadabra Anyango

Peter (304) to Samantha (304)

Davy (404) to Katrina (304) Kisau galz

Bahati Gee

(104) Kindaruma gee

St.Angelas

Luv u gal, ur a star. U shine in my lyf.

You are my bst luck

Hi lol.

Dindong (304) to Agnes (204) Kagwe

Da greatest ship I’ve sailed on is our

Vikto wa muoki (304) to Julie Olick

Thanx gal, I needed that…..love you.

Davy (404) to Katrina (304) Kisau

friendship. Luv you mwaaah!!

galz

Gee

Kush to Maggy (104) and Linet (304)

Jones (304) to Conso (404) St.

Luv u gal, ur a star. U shine in my lyf.

U complete me. I luv u.

Nagee

Angelas

Rojas Ogutu (204) to B.H.A Students.

Ronzy (304) to Charleen (404) Mumbi

Chop hard!!

Keep ur promises. Usinitose.

No new skul rocks like you do!! Rock

Gee

Maloski (304) to Aby Mutheu (304)

Nakupenda sana.

on.

Luv the way you lie gyal

Stato gee U changed ma lyf!!

Mwaani Galz

Neddy (404) to Milcah Nthenya (304)

Colloh (304) to Laura(404) Njonjo galz Baby, what if?

Maxy (304) to Ivy Wairimu (304)

Ann Andy (304) to Shem (304) KB

I miss you.

J. Njixxy (304) to Ruth (304) Njonjo

Karima gee

Skul.

Alpho (404) to Suz,

galz

Fwends forever!

Forgive me, I never meant to hurt you;

U r fly gal!

Ajinsa (304) to Caroline Ngatia (304)

I still value you.

J. Njixxy (304) to Linet (304) Nagee

Othaya gee

Chesamis Bee

We’ll make tha world go round.

Gal u gotta work it hard!!

Fareed (304) to Trizah (104) Bulimbo

Mwaani Gee

Success in lyf. Neddy (404) to Faith (404) Thanks for everything, especially ‘u know what.’

TALANTA MANIA AT TALA GEE Too hot for T.V.

Tala Gee’s Talent Day simply rocked! From the drama on stage to the darting game off stage. Our picharazzi was on the scene to bust the culprits in action...

Beauties galore....Tala’s finest were flossing their street style

Tala’s Destiny’s Child looking hawt.....

Mimi na wewe forever

Tala babes.. strutting their creative wear outfits

Rocking i-wear in sleek black

Ready to fyambaaaa!!!! The KRUspondents chilling with Raudy

Main course; loaf of bread, soda and raw eggs

Check out Kinyui Bee’s tiniest man!

Masii pirates were on ‘nzi ngwound’.... full sawgg on

Making geek look ultra cool

Tala Bee gaat swagg, hata bila shati!!

Joseph Ojiambo emerged as the ultimate pirate

For these two chaps Rihanna is the only gal in the world

Mr. and Miss Talanta and they lived happily

Nov

2 0 1 0

ever after

The Insyder Magazine Connect with The Insyder Magazine on Facebook for the latest 411, cool offers & fantastic prizes to be won!

Search Always NO Check Check Dance-Off competition on facebook and become a fan

Search The Insyder Magazine on facebook and become a fan

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Search The Insyder Magazine on facebook and become a fan

Too hot for T.V.

Funkie vybe show

Starch’s Career Blues To say that Starch’s career funkie kicked off on a boring note would be a major understatement, not to mention that none of the invited skools turned up. The boys in blue sure know about switching from singing the blues to some crazy fun, and from the sizzling pix some of them should consider a career in the dancehall....

He danced his way to winning a hot

..they couldn’t resist the tempatation and

Insyder Tee

also joined in.

i-Qru’s Dallah Bill buzzing the crowd

...and down they went all for the love of

Calif’s newest vixen Vanika was down

Insyder Tees

with the Starcherians

Starcherians gone wild..hehe

Statoe & Uppah Unite! Upperhill cats recently hit Statoe for an exclusive soiree to award the top perfoming 404 students in the mock. The top cat and chic each received cool Nokia C3 Phones from The Insyder Mag (yap, we make it rain like that!).

Statoe honiez kept to their side of the hall

Winners matching on-stage with pride to receive their cool prizes

Uppah cats looking on...

Up for grabs... there were plenty of goodies

Top student David (Uppah)

for everyone

won a cool NoKia C3 phone

Sylvia Kwamboka best gal

Sylvia also walked away

from The Insyder Magzine for

overall in the mock exams

with a cool Nokia C3 phone!

his brain power

showing off her cool prizes

Nov

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SAFARICOM KENYA LIVE KICKS OFF IN STYLE!

Too hot for T.V.

The Safaricom Kenya LIVE is a music property conceptualized to boost local talent in the Kenyan music industry. Safaricom Kenya LIVE will hold live concerts country wide featuring celebz and new skool artists from the various regions across Kenya; All this so that our stars (up-coming & established) can not only gain fame from their music but also earn some mula.

Celebz Go Back 2 Skool

Celebz getting skooled on how to upgrade on their live performance.

Eko Dydda, Jua Cali, M.O.G, Size 8 during practice

The LIVE Experience

The Safaricom LIVE kick-off concert was held in Bungoma, check out the sizzlinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; live experience, your town might just be the next stop on the Kenya LIVE Tour.

From Top Left: 1. Size 8 channels her inner Sasha Fierce 2. A dose of Isikuti for the heart 3. Wahu all fired up 4. And the LIVE party rages on 5. Fans joining in on some of the LIVE action 6. Even the rain and mud couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop them from enjoying the LIVE experience 7. M.O.G rocking it 8. Some lucky fans walked away with phones

Nov

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Too hot for T.V.

Riddim nation

Original Byad Gal Ce’Cile

‘Hot Like Me’ Since her debut into music Jamaican diva Cecile’s talent and flare for controversy has definitely earned her the title of dancehall’s original byad gal. With hits such as ‘Hot Like We’, ‘Ride or Die’, ‘So Fly’ her sultry singing skills along with deejaying skills have made her one of the most sought after female artists in Jamaica.

iMC: Tell me something that most people don’t know about dancehall’s original byad gal? Cecile: Well I’d love to be a teacher and teach English as a language and maybe even English Literature. I don’t swim; I’m scared of flying even though I fly often, I’m very down to earth and don’t allow the star mentality to get into my head.

grandfather’s name is pretty much the same as mine, you just drop off the “e” from Cecile. By the way my mom’s not wealthy.

I can reflect this wherever I go. I’m confident in the values I place on myself and I’m extremely confident when I know I’m doing good.

iMC: What inspires you to do music and has it been worth it? Cecile: Music came from my love of writing and reading, I love reading stories and began writing poetry at a very young age. I was reading books I shouldn’t even be reading from the time I was like 5. My inspiration for my lyrics comes from everything, my life, my friend’s lives, stuff that happens with my boyfriend and I, my sister and her boyfriend but usually I make things up (laughs).

iMC: Do you face any challenges in the industry because of your gender? Cecile: There are many gender challenges in the Jamaican music industry; I prefer placing emphasis on getting over challenges rather than talking about them. Challenges are obstacles you step over in your high heels, it takes a hard worker (female) to wear high heels, ladies get with it.

iMC: Was the fact that you come from a wealthy background a challenge when you ventured into dancehall which is considered hardcore? Cecile: I refused to use my last name so no one knew who my grandfather was at the time, if I had they would have definitely judged me because my

Nov

iMC: You come across as a very confident young woman has it always been so? Cecile: Nah, I’m really very shy, but there’s a difference between being shy and being confident. I’m confident in my writing, and as long as I’m comfortable with what I’m wearing

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iMC: You’ve worked with the likes of Trina, Shaggy, Timberland, Beenie Man, Elephant Man, Sean Paul, Lady Saw and Olivia. If you had to pick one collabo experience as your most memorable one which one would you pick and why? Cecile: Definitely Timbaland, I was actually in studios with him, seeing how he worked was great. I liked that

Too hot for T.V.

he thought it was cool for me to do the verses on my own, LOL. The song hasn’t been released yet but that’s how music goes sometimes.

the promoters but by a fan. I took it home to Jamaica and gave it to my dad because it was too big for my house. Crazy and nice all rolled up in one.

iMC: What are some of the wackiest/ controversial things you’ve heard about Cecile? Cecile: I had breast implants (false) I removed my ribs (false), that I was dating Bounty Killa (extremely false) (laughs).

iMC: What do you look for in a guy? Are you dating anyone? Cecile: Someone confident enough to be humble respects his mother and respects all women, I think silence and humility stands out in a crowd way more than hype and boorish behaviour does. Yes I’m dating a nice Coffee; I’m in love with the black skin so I like real dark men. iMC: If you had to name one celebrity crush who would it be? Cecile: 50 Cent iMC: Looking back what advice would you give to your sixteen year old self? Cecile: Hmmmm, be trilingual, preferably fluent in Spanish and French.

iMC: What’s your most memorable on-stage/concert performance experience to date? Cecile: Hmmmmm, opening for Sean Paul at Wembley Stadium (UK), opening for Peter Fox at Laxness Arena Cologne Germany, I performed in front of 16,000 fans and it was great because I’m the only Jamaican to date to have performed there. iMC: You must receive lots of love from fans, male and female, so two questions, what’s the nicest thing that a fan has done for you? What’s the craziest thing that a fan has done to you? Cecile: When I was in Frankfurt Germany I went onstage and was impressed with the life size poster of me that was the backdrop of the stage, only to find out it was not done by

Nov

iMC: Have you been to Kenya before? What are some of the experiences / places you must visit on your stay in the country? Cecile: I’ve never been to Kenya, dying to come! I don’t know much about Kenya to decide which sights to see but I will definitely visit. iMC: Any parting shots?

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Cecile: Hail up to all my fans in Kenya, stay sweet, to teeniez, the bravest thing u can do in life is to excel! Big up to all my black skinned guys, I love you all so much! Bless!

Too hot for T.V.

beat lab

Explosive Sizzling Volatile Effervescent

Innert

Jiachilie

Hivi Hivi

MC: Kenzo featuring MC Fullstop

Mcs: Kaka Sungura Rabbit

Production: Ogopa Deejays

Production: Dice Entertainment

Video: Ogopa Video

Video: Dice Entertainment/Jamhuri

This ragga infused radio scorcher

City This joint by Rabbit a.k.a Kaka Sungura will leave you in stitches as you listen to his lyrical prowess in the satire laden lyrics that tell the story of ‘Mtu Hivi Hivi’. Thanks to the bouncy beat the chorus is catchy but as much as the skit in the video is comical, the video quality is ‘hivi hivi’ and needs to be taken up a notch.

is a full throttle energy banger which will blow-up the airwaves. Kenzo delivers his signature vocals with a feel good vibe and with the help of hype master MC Full Stop this track right here is a dance monster - accompanied by a superbly produced video clip, what’cha you waiting for...jiachilie!

Get Closer (Remix) MCs: Qty Feat. Kenrazzy & Rapadamu

Kollo (Crazy)

Production: Pacho Ent. Video: Boomba Video This tease track is a worthy collabo that will leave you saying yes yes yes, the video is a definite sell, simple and engaging Qty plays her star role as eye candy very impressively, the Kenrazzy & new comer Rapadamu (one to watch) mix was definitely the missing ingredient to get this track noticed.

I Live For You Artists: BMF Production: Homeboyz Creatvity galore is on display in the from this ever so faithful gospel gang in the video concept behind this track. With a unique blend of styles on this track, the contemporary praise and worship message is infused with catchy riddims and is quite enjoyable. Whether it’ll be a chart topper will be up to you...

MCs: Wyre & 9con Production: Boomba Video This Naija-Kenya collabo is simply off the hook. Wyre is definitely back! In true love child fashion the track has an upbeat ragga tempo that will make it a sure club banger. The chemistry between this duo, will definitely cement 9con’s place in the local music industry. Do make sure you go Kollo Kollo over this track right here...

The views expressed in this column are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The Insyder

Oct

2 0 1 0

Show-Dow 2

wn At ASK 4

ASK Show

The Insyder Hot Spot at the ASK Nairobi show was buzzing with activity as teeniez showed off their dancing skills, P.S Challenge Skillz, chilled with their favourite celebz and won some cool prizes.

1. Black+White+Maroon = St. Hannah’s untuochable swagg 2. Busherians were so hooked to the P.S challenge over

Until KSS Bee invaded and took

4. They missed out on Mugumo Gee’s hottie line-up 5. ...and

Mulango Gee’s reason ya kusnap

6. Dj Naffygalicious (with a fedora)

chilling with her Chano Gee fans at The Insyder lounge beautifuI check out Iruma Gee’s tattoo addiction

Avril with thier moves as she sang her tunes redefined

7. Bold and

8. They came to Chokoza

9. Midundo & Kadunda

10. She wanted to lick it like a lolipop... 11. ... but she got

some bendover instead

12. Haiya huyu kapatikana..... 13. .....then

Queen aka Gucci Babe ditched Colonel for Kenzo mwenye hana ajitafutie mag on the planet

14. Kila mtu na wake....

15. Lucky enough to go home with the coolest

16. Penning down big-ups to lucky honiez..17. Mang’u

cats taking notes on how to have fun i-Qru style!

18. Avril & Marya got

more than they bargained for...19. Size 8, Maida and Vanika signing autographs for lucky teeniez

404 CLASS OF 2010 YEA To send off the class of 2010 in style we scanned skools for 404’s yearbook confessions; they revealed the good, the bad & the ugly from their four year high skool experience. Class of 2010 as you get ready to rock remember: For every ending there’s a new beginning, for every memory, there’s a dream ahead. The happy times you’ve had so far, the people you have met will always be a part of life and you’ll never quite forget; But even better, brighter days are waiting just for you. So dream your dreams... and may they all come true!

UPPER HILL SECONDARY SCHOOL (UPPAH)

Gwanest class of the year? 4G Most memorable moment? Cultural day 2010, it rocked! Most forgettable (worst) moment? Definitely regret burn dem dorm 5 and

remix 4. Best teacher? Depa Okus (Mr. Okumu) Person you will not forget? Daniel Kirui, juu ni mrui Best skool meal? Double chapo on Satoz Worst skool meal? Ugali Mayai (Sunday supper)

Craziest person? Okinyi; stole milk and smokies from main skool supplier Dancehall King? Vinnie and Muhia can get down vinasty

Most valuable Athlete? Kisia and Griffin (Rudge Kings) Most likely to be voted president? Man of the People John Inzoberi Coolest person of the year? Scott, he sorted Uppah big time King of panoez? Scoff Daft, hadi we’ve lost count Most likely to be voted Mr. Uppah next year? Joshua (104) Most memorable funkie moment? Coast Nyte! (August holz tution) Cheerleader of the year? Dambiz (Xyang’) he’s got vocals Most precious asset in skool? Canteen Most disliked skool? Ditchez, Jahmu, MFA, OJ 2011 predictions for your skool? Upper top 50 nationally

MOI FORCES ACADEMY (MFA) Gwanest class of the year? 4 Central (4C) Most memorable moment? Participating in the East Africa Rugby championship Most forgettable (worst) moment? Sausage fest at MFA’s History symposium (MFA, Ditchez, SSS, Changez), yaani no chics Best teacher? Mr. Odiyo Person you will not forget? Mr. Ngetich Best skool meal? Pilau and Milk Worst skool meal? Ugali and meat Craziest person? Laibon Willigis is off the scale

Dancehall King? Festus Kaunyangi (Lapoze) can really groove Most Valuable Athlete? Nyang’au Aaron Most likely to be voted president? Bryan Tirohp Coolest person of the year? Badson Colonel has got maard swag King of panoez? Oliver Kathura is the record holder Most likely to be voted Mr.MFA next year? Diela (Isaac) Most memorable funkie moment? Launching of bendover at MFA opens Cheerleader of the year? Jeremy Bubi is in his own league

Most precious asset in skool? 100 inch flat screen/DSTV Most disliked skool? Patch 2011 predictions for your skool? Kings of East African Rugby Championships and rocking funkiez

ARBOOK CONFESSIONS MARY LEAKEY GIRLS Gwanest class of the year? 4G & 4H Most memorable moment? Strike in form two, it was a crazy time, not to be repeated Most forgettable (worst) moment? Weekend challenge when dancing was banned Best teacher? Kabuu she is very motherly Person you will not forget? Tima; the bestest head girl ever! Best skool meal? Rice and Ngenga on Thursdays Worst skool meal? Nyama ya Sato, it is overboiled Craziest person? Toi (Elizabeth Wambui) she is tiny but can get away with anything Dancehall Queen? Mercy Liyosi is the bomb Most valuable Athlete?

Velma she’s an all rounder Most likely to be voted president? Esther Chege. She is very charismatic Coolest person of the year? Patience. She is just too awesome Queen of panoez? Kate holds that record Most likely to be voted Miss Mary Leakey next year? Jackie Minaj has the swag Most memorable funkie moment? Histo symposium coz many schools turned up Cheerleader of the year? Tess and Vero know how to psyche up a crowd Most precious asset in skool? TV Most disliked skool? None, we don’t hate 2011 predictions for your skool? It will suck without us

ST. TITO GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL (St. Tee)

Gwanest class of the year? 4 East Most memorable moment? When The Insyder hosted our talent day Most forgettable (worst) moment? 204s to404s being punished by kneeling on the parade coz of noise making Best teacher? Mr. Gathua (B-ED, Histo) she’s cool Person you will not forget? Mr. Wajonah, the cook Best skool meal? Rice & Cabbo Worst skool meal? Ugali & Beans Craziest person? Jacky Kinyua. She is the funniest clown to walk the streets of St.Tito Dancehall Queen? Queen Imanyara Most Valuable Athlete? Rose Poojah represented us well Most likely to be voted president? Winny Kimani, top cop

of year because she is understanding Coolest person of the year? Winny Kimani, she is he best events organizer and MC. Maaard swag! Queen of panoez? Yvonne Wanjiku (104) Most likely to be voted Miss. St .Tee next year? Rose Poojah, she’s gorgeous inside and out Most memorable funkie moment? Talent day cum Journalism day was fun Cheerleader of the year? Nyla Mahmuud is the life of a party Most precious asset in skool? Our two pimped up flat screen TVs Most disliked skool? Kerangare & Mary Leakey 2011 predictions for your skool? To be among the best private secondary schools. Watch this space

404 CLASS OF 2010 YEA MOI GIRLS SCHOOL NAIROBI (QUABBZ) Gwanest class of the year? 4S Most memorable moment? Geog. trip, movie/entertainment times Most forgettable (worst) moment? Election of the new prefects’ body 2010 Best teacher? Mrs. V. Odhiambo is funnest! Person you will not forget? Elizabeth Riimi (she knows why) Best skool meal? Rice & Beans, yummy! Worst skool meal? Rice & Quabbz Craziest person? Azra, crazy is her middle name because she’s full of surprises Dancehall Queen? Nelly Mwikali Most Valuable Athlete? Manuela

Most likely to be voted President? Beldyne Swanya knows how to handle peeps Coolest person of the year? Essy...she is just too artistic Queen of panoez? Florence Maritim ameshinda Most likely to be voted Miss Quabbz next year? Alice Kagwi forever Most memorable funkie moment? All drama events and Catho day were fun Cheerleader of the year? Tracy Amuyunzu is a psyche machine Most precious asset in skool? Projector because of movies days Most disliked skool?

Statoe 2011 predictions for your skool? It will became a barrack under new name; Kibera Women’s’ Military Camp.

HIGHWAY SEC. SCHOOL (HIGHIE)

Gwanest class of the year? 4R & 4Y Most memorable moment? The day we were chapwad by Mr. Ali because of skiving school while the rest of the school was having exams. Most forgettable (worst) moment? Guys almost beat up a T.P for unfair refereeing during a football match Best teacher? Mrs. Mutua. She is simply ‘blessed’ if you know what we mean & Mr. Opiyo he’s been a great dad to all of us Person you will not forget? Abdulkadir Ahmed a.k.a. Egyptian,

only person in Highie to play in Egypt and get a real bronze medal and not the mabatis we get in skool. Best skool meal? Rice & Beans, 3 Star Meal Worst skool meal? Githeri (kokoto) Craziest person? Eugene (404) he skyves skool and when he doesn’t, he comes at break time and leaves at lunch time! He only comes back in the evening to play ball, then goes home. Dancehall King? Verbal. He rules in both dancehall moves and rap. Most Valuable athlete? James Orundu (404) he’s the best in Athletics and Rugby, Abdallah Mwinyi best in football Most likely to be president? Jared (404). He’s a mtiaji, strictly follows the rules Coolest person of the year? Vinnie (Delarue). He’s got swagga and all the ladies under his spell.

King of panoez? Evans (404) - Amekata mti, kuslash nyasi, kuangalia chameleone kwa mti na kupanda hiyo mti … he’s done all the possible panoez that T.As can come up with. Most likely to be voted Mr. Highie next year? Farhan (304), he made the race for this year’s Mr. Highie a tight one Most memorable funkie? Highie Fun Day; celebz and hot chicks, what more could dudes ask for? Cheerleader of the year? Ramah Kartel (404) a.k.a ‘Dancing Father’ and Kevin Muchiri (Vuvuzela Man) know how to hype a crowd up Most precious asset in skool? Food – that’s our life bana! Most hated skool and why? Jahmu- they are not civilized and keep having silly beefs with us, Saintz – they always beat us in rudge, plus ni masonko tu sana. 2011 predictions for your skool? Awa and Highie will become an item, without us, Highie itakuwa down

ARBOOK CONFESSIONS Too hot for T.V.

STATEHOUSE GIRLS (STATOE) Gwanest class of the year? 4F is out of this world Most memorable moment? Chapo fight, the cooks delayed serving and guys started throwing the chapoz around Most forgettable (worst) moment? 08’ strike, atleast we didn’t walk out Best teacher? Mrs. Otieno, she’s very understanding. Person you will not forget? Matron ‘Meti cucu’ she was just so amusing. Best skool meal? Mokimo Worst skool meal? Rice & Beans Craziest person? Linda Rono, she is never afraid to be herself Dancehall Queen? Bridgette Mwangi knows all the latest moves Most Valuable Athlete? Lindsey Orlando: Best in rudge and football Most likely to be voted president? Lucy Nyausi, stands up for what she believes in and she is a people person

Coolest person of the year? Ruth ‘Riley’ Njoki, has a unique style and stands out from the crowd Queen of panoez? Susan Mutheu (404) Most likely to be voted Miss Statoe next year? She is beautiful and one of the most ‘on point’ 304s. Most memorable funkie moment? Drama funkiez coz drama team 08’-09’ just rocked big time Cheerleader of the year? Susan Wambui (404) Most precious asset in skool? School pool so many memories Most disliked skool? Quabbz, they are always hating on us 2011 predictions for your skool? A-Rated school that attends all funkiez but still passes exams

HOSPITAL HILL HIGH SCHOOL (HHH3) Gwanest class of the year? All 404’s Most memorable moment? HHH3 Opens Tournament, The Insyder was in the house Most forgettable (worst) moment? Burning of the school in 07’, please don’t repeat this Best teacher? Mr. Aseto he is understanding Person you will not forget? Mr. Obingo, whoa! Best skool meal? Chapo & Beans Worst skool meal? Ugali Craziest person? Steve Biko (404) is a total contradiction to his name sake Dancehall King & Queen? Daniel Ontita & Vania Wanjiru can qatika! Most likely to be voted president? Maurice Owaka (404), we’ll vote for him Coolest person of the year? Dismas Adega, best event organizer King &Queen of panoez? Micah Nyantika (404) & Shume (204) wamefanya mob Most likely to be voted Mr. /Miss of your skool next

Nov

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year? Prince Cornel for Mr.Hospital Hill for the chics there’s a lot of compe Most memorable funkie moment? Hospital Hill Opens was fyam Cheerleader of the year? Stacy Hilda (204) Most precious asset in skool? Teachers Most hated school? Patch 2011 predictions for your skool? Top 30 nationally 35

teentainment at its best.

Teentaiment at its best

Check out whats been happening on the school scene Pg 36-37.......Sniper Pg 38............411 Pg 39............Boy Talk

SNIPER

Fun At Tala, Boma & Gathirimu

Kabaa Bee and Masii Bee competing to jaza the top of their skool buses

Scene: Tala Gee Talanta Day With the likes of Brookshine, Matungulu, Tala Boys, Kabaa High, Makueni Boys, Masii, Kathiani and Sengani on the scene this was one of the few well attended funkiez of the term. To take the enta a notch higher the officials came up with an eating compe where the unlucky victims had to wash down a whole loaf of bread, raw eggs with 300ml of Soda (ouch!), Vicky 304 Masii won, a title that The Sniper would advice he keeps to himself. As the singing and dancing compe kicked off, The Sniper noted with interest that only peeps from Tala Bee and Tala Gee won. Tsk. Tsk. Some Kabaa dude came staggering on stage with blood-shot eyes. It was clear to all that he was drunk when he caused a major fight on stage ina attempt to get himself an Insyder Mag

bringing the whole event to a halt ( despite the models already being on stage!). The bouncers had to intervene and throw him outside and into their skool bus. A cool crew from Masii, aka ‘Teke Skool’, came up with a skool anthem called ‘Teke’, with beats borrowed from Gyptian’s ‘Hold Yah, good stuff! As the funkie wrapped up Masii Bee and Kabaa competed in a race to determine which camp could get the most number of people on top of their skool bus while a group of AQ cats who had skived skool left behind their comrade. The lucky dude informed anyone who would listen that his bus fare had ‘potead’ and so the i-Qru swept in to save the day. He definitely ended his funkie in style.

Scene: Boma Funkie: Miss Boma

Best believe it with his voice Pascal Changez 304 can be a billionaire

Nov

The Sniper was a bit sceptical about hitting Boma for this gal power gig, but this funkie rocked to the bone! From the mix of culture to the Bomerian hotties struttin their stuff down the run way, all gal group Tattu and Edith Kimani made a sizzling guest appearance, but the dude who stole the show literally had to be Pascal 404, with his vocals as he serenaded Bomerian honiez with his version of ‘Billionaire..’ Kikwetu at Boma’s Cultural day

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Teentaiment at its best

SNIPER

FLOETRY FURY

Scene: Gathirimu Funkie: Talent Day/ Miss Gathrimu

Blue Korna

The Sniper was not the only one mesmirized by the sea of beauty in Gathirimu Gee, the panel of judges had such a rough time picking the ultimate winner that they had to go deliberate in the loos. The Insyder High School Hottest Honie herself Le Jacque ( who now stars in Tahidi High) was in the house to co-Mc with Tabby (404). As the funkie got into full gear chics could be seen trying to peep through the window, The Sniper later learnt that these were cheapskates not willing to pay the 50 baab entrance fee. Tsk. Tsk. Gathii chics definitely love their roots, because the moment Ng’ang’alito stepped on stage to perfom a Kikuyu song, they all went wild. What was even more amusing was the level of creativity that they displayed outfits were made from the oddest of materials, ndengu, filter paper, hair peace and even old newspapers, LOL! Sylvia 404 however took the crown as she added a little bit of personality to her outfit by poppin’ as she sauntered down the stage. As The Sniper lingered in the shadows he couldn’t help but overhear some disgruntlement about a certain chic being denied participation because she was too overweight. Tsk. Tsk. Until Next Time...

Jina ya Gova: Charity Nzomo Msanii:Carhys Reppin’ : P.B. Kilungul Track: Scoff u Ahsanteni kwa kuchoose kudrop boy scoff Ye ni hater inafaa tumcough Tumewahi kama bottle top Ya cocacola lines zetu zikotop Ati, diss ukiweza lines zangu ziko bumper Nadiss nimeweza Luhya boy wa uppah Lines zangu so packed maze zinagongana Ati bado anagrow na ma haters anablow But nisha grow n I got the flow Tena anabore mistari ziko low Pliiz acha nicheke scoff apewe teke Gege ati aliwezwa na mweke I know all the genres anaskia raga Tumpate out place yake tumweke We ni Lisa boy, catchu Lisa coz Mi ni berra na flow naleta Lago-getta na u a no-getta Uko store for later coz mi ni grsa With the insyder tunaleta data We ndio outsider tulia uko under.

Red Korna Jina ya Gova: Reaper Mark Sikai Msanii: Reaper Track: Deep In to Hip Hop I brace my rough life as I get to the base Creativity galore! Filter paper was the material used to make this patriotic ensemble

Sylvia 404 sashaying and poppin’ on stage

I abase to the lord as I be a hip hop ace Days pas by as I watch myself erase But I face my troubles and ask the lord to send his grace Abnegation is what I did back in the hoods Coz it was my obligation to preach to the fools allegations were made but no one had clues But the judge hit the gravel saying that I recall was cruel People look at me and say my life is But I grind my teeth saying that homie I am lucky

Even the teachers in Gathirimu gaat swag

Check out thebest meal to ever be wrapped in foil paper

Nov

If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill...

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But they still bite my back saying that I am rusty someday I will break outta my shell coz I know I am still crusty I gotta keep ma grace up and not react to claims coz a prayer to the lord will put me out from blames

Teentaiment at its best

411

AMANI HITS THE JACKPOT

Not only does she have a MAMA but Amani is stunting as the only chic in the line-up of One8 artists that also includes; Tanzania’s Ali Kiiba, Uganda’s Navio. The 8 are set to hit the studios and release a song with an international artist. Reportedly the one in One8 might just be the Pied Piper of RnB Mr.R.Kelly himself. The track will be performed in concerts across 8 African countries.

TOXIC TUNES ABOUT TO HIT THE AIRWAVES Our very own bad gyal Toxic recently informed the world that she would be venturing into music, if you thought it was a joke, check out the sneak pics our picharazzi snapped during her video shoot. Toxic is currently signed under Refigah’s Grandpa Records and is already working on collabo tunes with Kaka Sungura (Rabbit) and Tanzania’s sensation Mr.Blue. Her debut hit single is titled ‘It is You’.

BOOMBA VIDEO

If you were wondering where the lads from Boomba Clan disappeared to, well they didn’t disappear at all they’ve just been doing a lot of behind the scenes work on the music scene under the Boomba Video Label. The venture has been such a success as they have landed themselves contracts to shoot and

produce music videos of most artists in town; Wyre(Sina Makosa, Kollo Feat. 9con), Bobby Mapesa, V6 & G-Kon (Come-2-Do), K-Letta (Get Low), Kenrazzy (tujisupporty), Q-Ty ( Get Closer Remix), J.I ( Kadogo Kadogo), Wiwy, Q-Ta-C (Chips Funga), Mejja (Majengo) and the list goes on and on.

WYRE - SINA MAKOSA

Wyres’ remix to the popular Les Wanyika track raised eyebrows, with most peeps wondering, ‘Dude didn’t you copy that?’. Well the love child hana makosa as everything was done in accordance with copyright laws. He reportedly compensated the only living widow of one of the original composers with a handsome figure estimated to be around laki moja (check your kamusi).

CELEBZ BACK 2 SKOOL

Following the scheduled Safaricom Live concerts across the country all the big names in the line-up of artists are obliged to attend a music academy preceding each of the towns’ live concerts. Their lesson plans include high energy sessions to enhance their music skills in various areas including music creation and production, stage performance, song writing and voice training. Imagine Size 8, Wahu, Juacali and M.O.G seated in a class with a T.A calling all the shots, LOL!

Nov

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OOPS!

Two new female artists might just be going head to head if the titles of their songs are anything to go by. The two tracks though different in sound have titles which are direct translations of each other in English and Kiswahili; Ni Wewe –Sironka/It is you- Toxic. Nothing like some healthy competition is there?

Teentaiment at its best

BOY talk

Am I Normal? Niaje Biggie,

I have a really embarrassing problem. I’ve noticed that one of my testicles hangs down further than the other; I can’t talk about it with anyone so please tell me if it is normal? What causes it? Elvis Hi Elvis, It is normal for one testicle to hang lower than the other, and the left is usually lower than the right. A slight difference in size also is normal. Each time you move your legs, you push the testicle on that side forward. If the two testicles hung at the same height, they would be constantly banging into each other. And running would become a pain -- literally! Each testicle hangs on a cord. The length of the left cord is generally slightly longer than the right, making the left testicle hang slightly lower than the right testicle. The other ends of the cords are attached to muscles in the pelvis that raise or lower the

I Hate My Mom

Wazzup Biggie, I’m 16 and I truly hate my mom. I know a lot teenagers say that when they’re mad, but even when she’s being nice to me I feel like I really don’t like her. She is making my life miserable. She drives me crazy because she judges people before she knows them. What should I do? Ryan Hi Ryan, Getting along with our parents can sometimes be challenging, because as we grow up, we develop our own outlook on life situations and people which can conflicts with our parents. As a teenie, it can be difficult to cope with the rapid changes both within and physical ones but it’s also a challenging time for our parents who have to cope with the fact that their son/daughter is moving from childhood into adulthood. Stereotyping marks this period and works both ways; teeniez may be wrongly labelled as rebellious, rowdy

“You are very normal and there is nothing to worry or be embarrassed about” testicles. When you are active, the testicles are raised to avoid getting bumped as you run. When you get sexually excited and have an erection, the testicles are also raised so they don’t bump during intercourse. They are also raised when you get cold to keep the testicles warm. When you are hot, they are lowered away from the body so that they can be cooled. So Elvis, you are very normal and there is nothing to worry or be embarrassed about. Biggie

Nov

and uncontrollable while parents may be wrongly labelled as being old fashioned, resistant to change, ‘un-cool’ and unwise. These wrong views may make a teenie believe that the society is against him/her causing them to be very defensive. The adults in the society including the parents may due to these wrong beliefs harshly treat the teenagers and label them as rebellious. You need to identify what might be causing this kind of hatred. You can only do that by talking to a professional counsellor who will help

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you identify your feelings. Remember she is your mother and you can’t change that fact therefore take it upon yourself to solve any problems that may arise. Yours, Biggie

My Religion is My Choice Hi Biggie, My mom is always complaining because I changed my religion and I’m not willing to change back. She is an SDA and I’m now catholic. What should I do to get her to stop nagging at me? Nathan

Wsup Nathan, In many African cultures, religion is particularly held in high esteem and parents are usually expected to pass down their religious beliefs to their children. This may explain why your mother is concerned that you chose to follow a different religion from hers. You may think it’s not a big deal but to her it is more than just about religion; it is the fulfilment that comes with the fact that she was able to pass on her religious beliefs to her children successfully. Faith is the belief in a supernatural being while religion is manmade structure and system on how to worship, adore and glorify the supernatural being. We may look at religion as a vehicle that takes your faith to the supernatural. You may board vehicles of many kinds; a matatu, a bus, a train towards a common goal that is to worship the one you believe in. Same is true for the various denominations in the Christian faith; SDA, Catholic or others. They all believe in the Holy book (the bible and worship the same God) what differs is how and when they do it but the ultimate goal is to worship God. So Nathan, you may realise that in this case for example, the SDA could be the bus, Catholic could be the matatu, but the final destination is for you to exercise your faith. So take this opportunity to board the one that makes you feel comfortable, be sensitive and take some time to explain to your mum why you have taken a matatu and not a bus. Biggie

WHAT EVERY GAL NEEDS

Pink Diary: Find out what the Galz are up to Pg 41..........Gal Talk Pg 42-43..........Street Style Pg 44............Boma Teen Hero Beauty Star

HOROSCOPES

Kodak Moments For You Scorpio Scorpio (October 23-November 21) This month is full of so many special and memorable (Kodak) moments. You will keep special people and relationships close and have lots of fun. Happy smiles Scorpio!

Sagittarius (November 22December 21) You will be reserved and cautious, but you’ll slowly begin to build trust where you lost it. Don’t be in a rush, take your time to digest and analyze situations.

Capricorn (December 22January 19) Timing is everything dear. You will need to change tactics as the effort you are making is not achieving the desired results.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Namtero Mdee - 13th November

You’ll be busy with social commitments and find interactions with others engaging

and stimulating. You will be ready for the fun holiday ahead.

Pieces (February 19-March 20)

Cancer (June 21July 22) Now that the holiday is closing

You will be making New Year

in, it’s the perfect time to host a

resolutions a bit early as the term

family dinner or small party that

comes to a wrap! Remember to

includes close friends.

be realistic and create some time for yourself too.

Aries (March 21April 19)

Leo (July 23August 22) There’s need for attention. as friends will be giving out a

This isn’t a good time to force

serious vibe that may tone down

your will on people, so try to use

some of your natural enthusiasm

some tact and be polite. Humility is a virtue.

Taurus (April 20 May 20)

Virgo (August 23September 22) You will be luck with money, but you should use caution

The nervousness and restlessness

and common sense in all your

will finally be over this month.

financial dealings. Remember to

Whatever the case, you did your

save.

best and all you can do is pray.

Gemini (May 21June 20)

Libra (September 23- October 22) Your confidence will attract what

Watch your words this month!

you need as you’ll tend to be

You may easily offend someone

more loving and social which will

you care so much about and may

increase your popularity.

never get a chance of making it up to them.

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What every gal needs

GAL TALK

She’s Cramping My Style! Bi Siz, My mom and I fight every time we go shopping together. She doesn’t understand why I want certain brands of clothes and shoes, She is always telling me to have a mind of my own. Why doesn’t she understand how important it is for me to buy stuff that complement my style? Sharon Dear Sharon, Your mum has a totally different view on what you think is trendy and cool because most of the times our parents want us to look in a certain way. They will often go an extra mile to influence what they think we should put on without considering our preferences. Start by sharing with your mum what you want. Remember to be polite and respectful because she is the one who’s providing the cash. Let her understand what you would like to have and the reasons behind your preferences for particular clothes. She’ll probably listen to you and give you what you want. Small siz remember to ask for the brands that are realistic i.e. she can afford to buy without struggling. Another way is helping her see you as a responsible and trustworthy person. That way she might have faith in you such that she will give you an allowance to buy what you want. However if she does, do make sure that you don’t misuse the trust she has in you. Big Siz

I WANT TO RUN AWAY Dear Big Siz, I am a 15-year- old girl and my mom constantly accuses me of having sex and being a slut. This isn’t true. I’m also being sexually harassed by the

Nov

boys in my school, but I’m afraid to tell her. I’m planning on running away because I can’t live with her anymore. Is this the right thing to do? Jenny Hello Jenny, It is difficult when the significant people in your life don’t trust you and keep saying negative things to you. It can make you feel unaccepted and unappreciated in the family. Don’t let this make you feel bad about yourself and prevent you from seeking support. When faced with problems in life, many people tend to make hasty decisions which are not always the best ones and may lead to things that are far much worse. Running away will not only get you away from the injustice of the accusations and mistrust that your mother harbors towards you; but have you thought of the other problems it might bring? Is this really the only option that you have at the moment? Is there

SHOULD I MEET HIM? Hi Big Siz, I met this guy on face book; he’s really funny and smart and I enjoy chatting with him. I think I like him. Is it OK to meet him? Alice Hi Alice, Meeting someone that you don’t know and who you’ve only communicated with over Facebook is really not a very wise move. Ask yourself; how well do you really know this person and what if he does something bad to you? In social networks there are all kind of people, some are genuine while others are just posing as friends yet they are after something- to destroy other people’s lives. Therefore you need to be careful about the decision to meet anyone from a social network in person. My advice is take some more time, get

“Remember to be polite and respectful because she is the one who’s providing the cash” someone else that you can talk to? You already mentioned that you have a very cold relationship with your mother so find someone older that you trust, it can be an aunt, school teacher, a priest or even a counselor. These people will help you on how best you can improve the relationship with your mother. No one has a right to abuse you sexually and anyone who does that should face the law. Talking to someone you trust is helpful as you will be supported to access medical services. Wishing you all the best Big Siz

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to know the person better online; request your friends to befriend the person that way you can get further insight and alternate opinions on the persons character. If you decide to meet him, be careful; let a friend or an adult accompany you. Meet in a public and safe place where in case of anything there will be people to help you. Never meet someone you met on Facebook all by yourself, always tag along with someone else. Keep safe and enjoy your life. Big Siz

STYLE 101 Boyfriend Sweater The charm of this look lies in the oversize shape it should be won with something slim fitting; skinny jeans, leggings, jeggings, shorts or dress. Accessorize with a waist belt worn over the cardigan. Try the boyfriend cardigan with your favourite pair of flats, booties, or knee high boots.

Dress Up! Dresses are fun and girlie and are always a great choice when you want to look casual and relaxed with flat sandals or like a fashionista with a matching pair of hot heels. Pick a length that is comfortable for you because the surest way to kill swag is to keep pulling your dress down or looking uncomfortable.

Model's Name: Lyxandra Kerri Skool: St.Christopher’s Age: 16 years

Dress up your outfit with a funky, chunky belt, instead of looping through your jeans or tying around your waist. Buckle the belt around your midsection, or directly under your breasts. Shoes available at Todays Fashion Jamia Mall Stall No.69 Do you want to be an Insyder Street Style Model? All you have to do is email a recent snapshot of yourself to yuaholla@theinsyder.com or join our The Insyder Magazine and post a photo of yourself on the wallpage with the title ‘iModel’ and include Your name, Age and School.

fan page

Check out some of the trends that we dig and learn how to create your own style! Model's Name: Sarah Gabrielle Skool: Braeside Age: 16 years

Mix n Match With Fun Contrasting colours make your outfit look edgy and fun, but be careful not to look like a clown. A tip in the art of mixing and matching is to know the colour wheel to know which colours complement and contrast each other.

Buckle Up! It’s not just about having something around your midsection, you need to find the right style for your body type and wear it right. Grab a black one, a brown one, a gray one and a funky colored one. If you’re biggest problem area is your tummy, using a thick belt for your mid-waist as it slims out your stomach, giving you a smooth hour glass figure. If you’re on the thin side, a thicker belt may swallow your torso, so opting for a thinner belt.

All belts are available at CK Fashions Town Stall from Kshs. 1000 call 0728648408

Jeggings Styled to look like skinny jeans and are slim & skin-tight like leggings. Pick a pair that will go with everything from a basic tank to a sweater dress. If you’re conscious about your curves, black is safe because it, slims you down. If you’re not comfortable, then don’t try it.

What every gal needs

HECKLER

St.Tito’s Grand Hustle

Talk about determination St.Tito’s funkie was held in this hall, still under construction

A St. Tito Kikuyu Day collabo

Only the lord knows how I found my awesome self in a dusty hall with boring dudes somewhere in Kiambu County for St. Tito’s Journa Day/ Miss St.Tito. There’s ‘ghetto fabulous’ and then there’s St. Tito fabulous because those chics sure know how to chase the dream, whaaartt! They definitely get an E (for effort) in my books but chics need to tone down on the groupie love, my ears are still ringing from their shrieks of joy when they spotted the i-Qru van in their skool, a serious case of what I like to call i-Qru deficiency syndrome. They even welcomed the i-Qru with fresh pink roses, cute!

St.Tito’s Gucci Babe Queen

Lonely hearts

(304)

comforting himself with a kanga

Looking back they were probably softening them up for the sight of their hall, because as soon as one strolled into the shell of a building, it felt like walking on pure sand, there were no windows and their attempt to cover up the gaping halls in the walls with lessos made it even worse. The sun’s rays still penetrated through, all minor set-backs for the St.Tito honiez because they put on quite a show, even I was impressed. I guess they believe in fakin’ it until you make it... The invited dudes on the scene on the hand were a major set-back, Kahuho Bee were totally bila vybe, guess Queen (304) ‘Gucci Babe’ stunned them with her beauty. The dancing compe was dopest and some loser from Kahuho Bee got so depressed and sat by himself in a corner covering himself with a Lesso. The poor boy was looking for pity votes and got himself three mamaz to hug in front of the whole crowd as his prize. The fashion show was a sight to behold, with the most interesting outfits being displayed some made from Tuskys shopping bags, guniaz, banana leaves and Christmas decorations but after all the pomp and flair lucky Pujar Kishor bagged the title.

The beauties contesting for the title in their uniform swag

The winner, Wilson (304) Kikuyu Day won over the Tito mamaz as ‘Mr. Tito’ and got an autographed Tee with a chic’s portrait on it to symbolize his conquest! The climax however had to be when their patron Miss Mercy went on stage to perform her East –West gospel track and the crowd went crazy that was a first! Big-Up Galz!! St.Tito’s venue aka the unfinished hall

Nov

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What every gal needs

Kenyan Rock Rocks! The rock scene in Kenya has for years been an underground movement, but with time the scene has become vibrant and bubbling with new talent. With bands like Kamata, Murfy’s fLaW, Music to Overdrive (M2O), Dove Slimme Seismic, Absence of Light and Last Year’s Tragedy (LYT) on the scene, the live rock band circuit is on the verge of an explosion.

can sample music from Seismic, Absence of Light and LYT. Several bands have singles making waves on local radio stations with Kamata ‘Safe In My Arms’, M2O’s ”Tafadhali” and

Regular shows are held every other week of the month where these bands showcase their talent. With a growing fan base, each of these bands has managed to attract quite a following amongst teeniez; alternative rock lovers can sample the likes of M2o, Kamata, Murfy’s fLaW and Dove Slimme while metal heads

Murfy’s fLaW (Left) & Music to Overdrive (M2O)

Murfy’s fLaW’s “Contagious” already making heads bump. With the other bands not too far behind the Kenyan Rock scene is set to blow up.

strictly siz

Dudes To Stay Away From Currently on the market? Good

love you. To the point that if you

for you, gal! But make sure

got hit by a bus he’ll just want

you’re armed, here dudes that

some “peace” to watch the match.

are not likely to make you

Paranoid Tom

happy, and it’s better to stay

Perfect Peter

away from them as soon as they

He thinks he’s Einstein, and

green eyed monster in Paranoid

show any of these patterns...

analyses your every move, from

Tom will make him presume that

the flavour of crisps that you

you’re cheating. He’ll constantly

Damaged David

choose to the shows you watch

accuse you of flirting with others

Who doesn’t want to be fixed. On

on TV. He’ll sit with a smug smile,

and won’t be happy until he’s the

your first date he’ll announce that

convinced that by labelling you

only person in your life, so bail

he is not over his broken heart.

he’ll be keeping you hooked. Soon

now.

On your tenth, you’ll realise that

he’ll be trying to “fix” you with his

he isn’t just broken hearted; he

weird theories….bin him now.

enjoys it, and has made a solemn

Just like doubting Thomas the

Cheating Charles Obviously, it doesn’t matter

pact to never let anybody in again.

Pretty Johnny

if Cheating Charles is dating

so don’t waste your time trying.

Pretty pretty Johnny will just leave

Beyonce, Rihanna or Halle Berry

Sporty Simon

you feeling ugly while he spends

if he sees somebody he likes,

Most guys will put a sport first at

his time fixing his hair and acting

he’ll seduce them. Save yourself

some point, but you know that

more beautiful and delicate than

the heartache and live by the old

he’ll be there for you but Sporty

you. Avoid him like the plague and

saying, “Once a cheater, always a

Simon loves sports more than he’ll

find a more masculine guy.

cheater”.

Nov

2 0 1 0

What every gal needs

Tha Teeniez Voice!

www.theinsyder.com Teenwise Media Limited Publisher iMC Tamima Ibrahim

Editorial Kru

Ruth Adallah, Lisa Muthoni, Brian Simiyu, Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive

Design & Layout Thomas Mwangi

Marketing Team Carol Kariungi Anne Kigathi

Departments

Ann Ngigi Corporate Affairs Jimmy Mumina Distribution Thomas Mwangi Design Distribution Nation Courier Printer Colourprint Ltd

Directors

Ann Ngigi â&#x20AC;˘ Adam Nyakundi Ngaruiya Githegi

The Insyder Offices

Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com

STOCKISTS Mr Price Nakumatt Junction CK Fashions & Designs Call 0728648408

PHOTOGRAPHY Emmanuel Jambo

COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Ltd. All rights reserved. The Insyder is published once a month. Contributions are most welcome and must be accompanied by stamped self-addressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The Editor reserves the right to edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the editors and

Nov

2 0 1 0

publishers of The Insyder.

Boma’s Teen Hero The Johnson & Johnson crew’s fourth stop on the Teen Hero skools tour was Boma. This time round the search was on for Boma’s ultimate Beauty Star, with lots of enta from Bomerians, guest appearances from stars like; Tattu (Debbie, Shinde & Angie) plus Edith Kimani and lots of goodies to be won. Check out the pics...

Boma honiez getting skooled on how to use the Johnson & Johnson products

Changez was on the scene for a collabo with Boma

Boma’s finest skippin to the lou’

Check out the haaawwt contestants struttin’ down the runway in their creative outfits

Time to vote for Boma’s Beauty Star

Lucky Bomerians won themselves cool items; funkie Clean & Clear tees & o.b. backpacks

All gal group Tattu sizzlin the crowd

‘This is how we do it!’

The leading ladies are; Margaret Muchemi (Beauty Star), Vanessa Kanairo (1st Runners Up) and Valerie Keta (Second Runners Up

Bombshell TV anchor Edith Kimani proving that she’s not just beauty but brains

ÂŠ Johnson & Johnsons (PTY) Ltd 2010