Volume 11 No.11-November 2011
www.theinsyder.com
Campus Edition
celebs vibe about uni :
creme avril eric omondi
150 baab
NO HOMO big pin talks clothes
Do My Clothes Say I’m Gay?
mac gee claps back! pimpin’ ur school uni
a 4o4’s bucketlist
FRREEMEE
DJ C AND AMBER’ROSE POSTERS
making
the cover
Tha Teeniez Voice!
www.theinsyder.com publisher Teenwise Media Limited
Editorial Kru Annie Wambita, Judy Wanja, Josephine Mosongo, Dismas Adega, Jamal Ifraha Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive
Design & Layout Elias Mwangi
Marketing Team Irene Njoroge
Departments Corporate Affairs: Ann Ngigi Distribution Manager: Nicholas Mutie Distribution: Nation Courier Printer: Emirates Printing Press LLC, Dubai
Directors
s ’ 4 0 4 all
Ann Ngigi • Adam Nyakundi Funkie-licious TV • Ngaruiya Githegi
Undercova Brotha The Insyder Offices pg 26
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
Make-up Cedric Mwaniki Vera Beauty College
Cover PHOTOGRAPHY Emmanuel Jambo
PHOTOGRAPHY Moses Mwangi
R I E H T IN S M A X E 2
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COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Ltd. All rights reserved. The Insyder is published once a month. Contributions are most welcome and must be accompanied by stamped self-addressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The Editor reserves the right to edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the editors and publishers of The
Models dressed by
Against All Odds Fisrt Floor Prestige Plaza, Ngong Road
Insyder.
www.theinsyder.com November
2011
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Insyde
The i-Qru’s Take
Boy Dis
been dustry has The movie in n lately. What tdow a bit of a le d out ou watchee y d a h e vi o m only much psyke for with so been one big for it to have ent? dissapointm
kers really e worst but Ta Though not th All that hype me big time! disappointed just needs to ba El ing. Idris was for noth needs to he , and as for T.I g to the up his game tin ac e av le d ing an stick to rapp real actors.
What’s Sizzling This Month
feature
12
Cover st0ry
Difna
Funkie Vybe Show
ic Don’t mess with the Zohan, unrealist even n’t does id stup and g ntin ppoi disa ler begin to describe it. Adam Sand coz should have just taken a vacation t. talen his of te was huge a that was What was up with that beard?!
Judy
Cat woman, th at movie just killed me. And don’t even get me started ab out the Transporter; it had the dumbest sc ript coupled with th e worst effects ever (a ti gari inabalance kw a ukuta NKT!)
The iMC’s
Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon, that movie was dope till they dropped Megan Fox (damn she’s hot!) n then replaced her with that other chick. Aargh! Na ilikua na camera tricks kibao za ufala.
32
lockwood
& Changez
no homo Am not my clothes!
Jamal
BONUS: dJ creme & amber rose posters
ts Coolest November Momen
Nairobi International Trade Fair
K CELEBZ TAL UNI LIFE
inda on L i t a r Ope Nchi
It was fun!
Tusker all stars concert Kubamba Nayo!
HHH prayer day
m journalis Mac Beeday
ayo? rama n
D
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It was on FIRE!
www.theinsyder.com November
2011
5
tee
l
i
Quabbz. Thanx for the love, look out for a major 2012 and an I-Kru mix tape. I-Kru
let’s John, that drawing was good. Now hope the NBA players and the team m and owners can stop bickering over $80 d. woo get back to the hard I-Kru
usual. It’s a MOB LOVE king and blazing as get this. pe Ur good, cool, roc Hi guys, I ho I really hope you ite to you guys and great pleasure to wr EST and any other ING ZZ BLA , ST , HOTTE You r da GWANNEST r. eve g this TEENIEZ ma word that relates to Gladys & Cynthia. ey, an mm Qy ce, spi te, Sly, Pinkarriffic pinket Mob love right back
z ma
3K
ie
Manze big up 4 all da rockin’ u’ve bin doing so far and reppin’ teeniez massive,@least 2najitokelezea thru u guys. Kip da faya blazing.
the z teenie voice
n
WASSUP! Wassup insyder,
z ma tee
THANKS A LOT!
Hi Insyder, speed. Madze keep the ball rolling at that (L B Its John Mutunga a.k.a Wazimu Artz and ll etba Bask love do y reall I a) C kam for Lebron James is my man. Thank you er last letting me feature on the art corn is the time. I love you all guys. Your mag . best. Keep on keeping on. Nice time nga Mutu John (304), LBC Kitui
ie
il
Yua Holla
n
connect Victor Memface Yo, niaje insyder Ur uppest, how abt visitin thika hae......pliz Milley Alferoz Hey u guyz rock I mean Ur the best of the bestes cheers Missionary Camp We drimin to appear on the insyder magazine soon. Lawrence Laurent Wats up I qru c u hit us on ur mag at least c pia tuonekane coz u’ve rly 4gotten us 4rm momba plz do smthng....??? shimo boyz a.k.a xona bee Mombasa Carl DE LA Gullyz hey you people are welcome 2 makueni bee Tina Shaquy Wsup! U pipz r kul’keep it going Jannie Mutisyer yew guyz rock it vewi hardest!!!!!!!!!!1 Cîndý Çærêy Fêñtý U guys gat da illest mag lyk in da whole universe if da insyder was a schl bk trust me u I cld b da bst performin student! U’ve got it mad lve! <3mwax!
at ya.
I-Kru. Search: The Insyder Magazine on Facebook to connect with The Insyder Magazine and holla at us all your comments.
Slang’ Corner Word: Kove Origin:Moi Gee LD Meaning: Dude/boy As used in a sentence
Maze kuna kove wa Highie ameshikwa na phone chuo akapigwa sus!
6
November 2 0 1 1
Word: Mesty Origin: Ofafa Meaning: Skool/ chuo As used in a sentence
Hakuna kitu huniboo kama kurudi mesty after Midi
ur school: the scoop on yo us ve gi e, in n. magaz feature in the all the low dow If you want to est peeps and ol co , ie : nk fu on t it us up The hottes get set, spill! H On your mark, om .c er yd ns ei yuaholla@th 2, 00 0 00 18 07 SMS: einsyder.com Online: www.th
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presents
Mistari Art Competition
W nners Gallery
by amin taalib (304) fair lady by francis (304) katchez nelly furtado by daniel pere triple s
BY NDUNGU KARIUKI KIANYAGA BEE ferrarri by kenaLISON KARUGA NJUMBI HAE
BY AICHA JEFFERSON MUX BEE
ROCK STAR BY GLORY TINDI INZIANI KAIMOSI GEE
MARTHA MASIKE BY GLORIA K GWARO MAKUENI GEE
teargas by Monica Njeri NGARA GEE
BY FAITH NDEGE TUMUTUMU GEE
Reckon you have the talent to feature in this column? Send us your artwork to win great prizes. Each month we will feature entries and pick the top 3 for the winners gallery. The winners will receive fantastic prizes No 1: Shopping Voucher, Funkie Tee & a Bic Sationery pack No. 2: Lunch Voucher , Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack No.3: Travel Bag, Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack For your entry to be selected as a winning entry the mistari must be via a BIC biro and MUST have the Bic Logo. All winning monthly entries will be entered into a draw to win a cool mountain bike or a termâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s school fees. Please ensure you include a telephone number in your artwork. Send your entries to P.O Box 51634-00200 Nairobi
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MOI BY ALKEDY, MBALE HAE
www.theinsyder.com November
2011
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EVER
WONDER
21. What was the first guy to discover milking a cow doing? What was he thinking? 20. When will Baby Face become mature? 19.Does Simon Cowell have any real friends? 18. Are we going to see the same old tired plots in soap operas forever? 17. Now that Oprah has had her own talk show, cable network and founded a church, is she going to start her OWN country? Why does maziwa mala have an expiry date if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s already spoilt? At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? Where did Webster look up
16.
14.
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15.
12.
11.
10.
the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Who killed the Dead Sea? If a super market is open 24 hours, why do they have locks on their doors? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow Since Nameless has no name, then Kagwe ni wa-hu? Why are the New Kids On the Block still calling themselves New yet theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been there for more than ten years? And while we are at it are Immature still immature? Will all the hot mamas Dng has dated appear in his wedding since he is engaged? Will the toy manufactures sue Justin Bieber after he shaved his hair and cost the company $100,000? Is Mbusi really going to eat greener grass elsewhere aside from Ghetto Radio? Isnt it a lie that Christopher Columbus discovered America yet he found Indians living there?
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MY BUCKETLIST b4 leaving the pen!
DO OU SHOU LD Y S G IN H T 12 OL G HIGH SKO IN V A E L E R O BEF
l o o k s e th d n a l il h e th i, s the ho
i ON SKOOLZ
F
our years ago, I joined skool. Now I’m about to leave and I present to you my bucket list of what I wanted to get done. I am now officially ready to go to kolle! (404 student)
Get e g th Rulin l on o scho f of the l a in. h be l adm o o h sc
(Prefect 204)
3.
ed.
nd suspe
e
chil g with a in c n a D ( ) priately inappro
5.
4.
Miss preps at least a few dozen times.
(See No.3 above)
6.
Get a 104 to do my laundry, clean my cubicle and get my meals.
(Mono!!!)
9.
7.
Laze behind the dorm.
(Too many times 2 kumbuka)
Tattoo swag Eyrique Kansio
Razique Amin an alumni n Maria
t of ing ou k a e n S l. schoo
(I hope my mum doesn’t read this Every Sato!) Attending the last funkies of the term even though the school is against it. (Nikose nichekwe)
8.
Sneaking “illegal substances” into school. (Get rich or die tryin’)
Keith Wainaina
Skool: The Hosp ital Hill High Sc hool A.K.A: Triple H Relationship St atus: Taken Hottest Class: 3 Blue-soon to be 4 Blue Coolest clubs: Scouts, Journali sm and Dance Club Precious Asse ts: Basket ball courts, Music room Best TA: Mrs. Ny aga Coolest TA: Mr. Aseto Best meal: Chap ati and Stew (S aturday thrill) Worst meal: Ug ali on Wednesd ay Most popular du de: Eyrique Kans io Hottest dude: Izaq Kim Hottest chiq: Maria Wanjiru Most talented dude Most popular Ch : Keith Wainaiana iq: Beverly Mut indi Pano holic: Brian Mweu Most talented chic: Marion Di asy Funkie Holics: Ray Mochama and Leah Kamau Worst Pano: W ashing the bask et ball court, digging a trench around the school compound Worst classes : 1R and 1G Alumni: Edu Ge e Most used sla ng/term: Choo st (back fire), Susia (ignore), Pigwa vijiti(f *** off ) Worst TA: Kaula (Her holier than though attitude)
Brian Mweu-panoeholic Leah kamau-funkieholic
10..
Defying the boring old school uniform and transforming it into something trendy and fun.
Disrupt the school assembly. Be smart enuff not to get caught.
(I fa
B-ball court
inte
d!) Izaq Kim Idler’s corner
(3rd term 304 wore a shirt bila sleeves )
11.
Steal teacher’s food from the kitchen.
(Wo0i! How mad was Mr. Mwangi?)
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12.
www.theinsyder.com
The park
PASS THE K.C.S.E!
(Fingers crossed)
Beverly Mutindi-Most popular chiq
Admin Block
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FEATURE
FEATURE
0 roximately 300 p p A : n o ti la u a Road p Po : Kisumu- Busi n o ti ca o L s u mie p Main Cam Balcony, Mon A el st o H ro ja an m d Hot Spots: Kili llege campus an co s, u p m ca a ib Campuses: Sir mpus Kisumu City ca Ndege Alumni: Reuben
MOI UNIVERSITY MU has been in existence since 1984. The university boasts of having the largest library in East Africa dubbed the Margaret Thatcher Library. The university has three 3 constituent colleges; Kabianga, Chepkoilel and Narok. This university is known for its bachelor’s degree programs in Science i.e. general and mathematics as well as Bachelor degrees in Education. DJ Kaytrixx takes a walk down memory lane, reliving some of his glory days while @ Moi.
W
es v i g i n U e you th m freedo
e b to er you hw oevse to be choo
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hen I left high school I expected to join university, focus and study hard to get my degree. I had always wanted to go to a university abroad but finances were an issue so I had to settle for Moi University in Eldoret. I was happy because it was a chance to continue with my education and it’s an opportunity very few people have.However, Uni didn’t quite live up to my expectations. I was faced with a tough decision and was also frustrated by administration so it did not go as well as I had planned or hoped.MU is cool but I would encourage teeniez to join any uni if they have a chance to do so, education is education and it is an experience u do not want to miss out on. I will not lie; I wasn’t the best of characters in uni. Always got into trouble. He he. Coolest thing was deejaying in the local club at the university. Most fun I’ve ever had was when I was in second year with my roommates. They were a crazy bunch. That was the best year.(sigh) When it comes to crazy stuff in uni, well, there was this chick that used to steal
MASENO UNIVERSITY
Maseno University became a fully fledged university in 2001, but prior to that it was a part of Moi University in 1990. It boasts of well conceived faculties and schools offering various degrees and diplomas in social, biological and physical sciences. The name "Maseno" was created by Rev. J.J. Willis out of the name of a tree known in dholuo as "Oseno" or "Oluseno". As Reuben Ndege reveals, campus is not only a place of learning but growing and exploring yourself as a person…
phones. One day she was caught stealing an iron box. Never seen a woman run so fast. Rudisha hawess make it. ---There was also a strike. The people who I thought were the most reserved were the ones in the front line. It was too funny. Uni gives you a lot of freedom. Uni is where you learn how to live with different people and also how to be an adult, it gives you freedom to be whoever you choose to be, you make choices, whether right or wrong but you eventually learn from them. I taught myself how to dj when I was back in Uni and that shaped up my career. As I said above, also learnt how to deal and live with all sorts of characters that’s why I am an entertainer. Unajua kuishi na watu!! Alcoholism is the worst and biggest challenge in uni. I fell prey to that, there is lots of peer pressure but eventually I learnt how to control it and say NO. Pregnancy is also rampant and most turn to abortion, which is really not acceptable. Homosexuality is also rising at a very fast rate. Really sad. The freshmen are usually the ones who are targeted by both male and female students since they are naïve and when the freshmen pass that stage they revenge by waiting for the other freshmen and the cycle continues.
MU A.K.A364 ion: 22, la u Pop t pus Location: m Main ca , t i, Kitale Eldore : (Nairob anza, s e s u p Cam rn Ny ng'o, , Southe Kericho nya, Odera Aka e K y l n n Ke a Centra Norther d n a t s Coa , campus ry, Mess ts: Libra Hotspo J Kaytrixx D Alumni:
I
’s built attended the only university that eno Mas tor, equa the on ck sma right University. take a different Now we all know that dreams e up….so no, it wak you ute dimension the min but it has helped was not my dream university king with creme to live out my dreams wor is that I get to g thin best ative people and the I feel like putting r teve wha ring wea k wor to go formal wear. My on since I am totally allergic to University, own dream university was Georget ll etba bask d love I use solely beca m university, Since Maseno wasn’t my drea going in but I ions ctat expe any have ’t I didn t made me the e….i ther t wen I thank God that life to the fullman that I am today. I lived my that word...I of e sens y ever in uniest at the rved, I obse I nt, lear I explored, I devoured, man at Maseno a to boy a from t wen …I grew university. eeny do not I once got expelled from uni(mat Mwai Kibaki once but ol) scho in stay try this, t of Kenya, iden pres 3rd was sworn in as the expulsion that and ons ensi susp all fied nulli he
itutions and that were enforced in learning inst ed me to finish allow that e was my saving grac my education “Conformity is It’s JFK Kennedy who once said y of growth.” enem the the jailer of freedom and e for one plac a be ld shou ies ersit univ I feel some of the to find themselves totally and rules and what restrictions laid out in some uni ess… proc y over disc selfnot stifle the degree in Maseno university through the the reason why is arts ing orm creative and perf the creative at this juncture in my life I am leading media and production manager for the GROUP MEDIA UDS house in Tanzania: CLO station, 1 TV 1 , ions stat o radi 4 has that TV station, a event organizing firm, 1 internet h as I have muc As magazine and 2 night clubs. amentals fund c basi the job, the on learnt a lot ng and enti pres , ting of radio production, scrip eno. Mas at ured nurt e wer not t wha STYLE FRINothing compares to the FREE HOSTEL DAY session at the KILIMANJARO my crew with ing rapp not was I If BALCONY.
at a spot called TREE-KNEE-TEA, I was chilling to me that ps… hoo EQUATOR after shooting ventured ally sion occa we , yeah ...oh was bliss MON at back ed kick and out to Kisumu city sy chic’s from clas the use beca was that , AMIE here else. uni wouldn’t accept to go anyw t- any sportAny time we had a sporting even . Soccer, time .T.Y P.A.R was it then ting even as there long o it…s e nam you rugby, basketball, e colored bottles, was a crowd, music and thos good times would follow. n’t in your face Back then homosexuality was In all honesty know ldn’t wou I so y, toda as it is any guy on saw r neve I es. dud if there were gay ever witnessed guy action at the campus. I how I don’t know if a casual girl on girl action but osexuality at hom of e that speaks of the stat no one in my ies, nanc preg for As pus. the cam nancy preg to due out year group dropped g to campus to I still would advise those goin help them reach go to university’s that would ersity happens Univ their goals, and if Maseno means, go all by then y, ersit univ that to be there.
Maseno Uni www.theinsyder.com November
2011
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ct’d...
i on hoods
Welcome to Kisumu
However small Kondele is, it is very technologically advanced....
FEATURE
THE AUSTRALIAN STUDIES INSTITUTE
O
ffering a variety of courses today, AUSI began in Kenya in October of 2000 offering only foundation and Diploma programs on behal of Perth Institute of Business and Technology f (PIBT). It has since grown to be one of the best locally based international universitie in Kenya. Currently, they offer bachelor’s s degrees in business and information techn ology. The school is located in a safe cosm politan suburb on Westlands’ with shopping omalls, restaurants and café’s all within walkin g distance. Vanika has quite a bit to say about particular institution… this
U
y, a hot Welcome to Kisumu cit the ever d an ing ty spot for par so alluring mbuta.
dmark nal lan ternatio y Obama’s in n a ntly ely ld map b is curre the wor e traced squar we The city put on b o n n e a e c b s g t o n. But d o w r havin o t se o g cy wh thrivin presiden ble yet this hum back to a! say yaw
tback you on an ou Today we lead n of this West ow kn un e th trail into . ern giant..
to me. I ni seemed pretty scary University in h nas Mo to wanted to go ause of my bec South Africa, but then juggle muand y sta to d ide music I dec Studies lian tra Aus The sic and Uni so I went to expecting a s wa I d. tea ins i irob Institute in Na ependence and I was lot of hard work, and ind know what I would get scared because I didn’t is very important, if ion cat when I joined. Edu y ty uni to go to Uni, the a teenie has an opport I never er. pow is dge wle Kno should take it. i as I was juggling music really spent time in Un
time if I wasn’t at Uni and Uni so most of the e. There is a time hom or dio I was at the stu s, we started son les when we were having we went to the en wh and ts, sho hearing gun sing thugs and cha re we n windows, police me s, I saw for wa it there shooting at them and d. dea t sho ng bei n ma a the first time ion to all other ent att d pai lly rea er nev I . But in my Uni, people people’s social lives lol… we did have some yes ed, never really bother xuals and guys who pregnant girls, homose er categorized them. nev we but loved to drink,
used on their work. As People were more foc classes, sometimes ct affe n’t did it long as happened to a student e hav something could through a year and and you can actually go king back, I guess loo , ver we Ho . not find out t were most aftha en it would be the freshm the rest. The cases fected by alcoholism and ause AUSI students bec ugh were very few tho wasn’t really something were disciplined. There . ing pen hap outrageous
is very n o i t a c u Ed nt, importa ie if a teen y portunit p o n a s a h , they i n U o t o to g ke it. should ta THE AUSTRALIAN STUDIES INSTITUTE
Kondele town.
A.K.A - AUSI (kenya)
: Approx n o i t la u p o P nts e
2,000 stud
Located in a quiet and serene environment, Kondele town provides the perfect location for camping, hiking and simply leads you away from the very busy hubbub of the city.
And as the sun beautif sets on ul city. this
Location: W estl
ands
Pizza Inn, : s t o p s t ond Ho lack Diam Red Tape,
well as we we bid it fare e next th to on move hood.
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B
Alumn i: Vanika
www.theinsyder.com November the end...
2011
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FEATURE
DAYSTAR UNIVERSITY rsity is a Chris aystar Unive nio at rn te in n tian institutio for its top ally acclaimed ation m in com unic notch training onic media, tr ec el e ar e courses. Thes and print blic relations advertising, pu ers off so al niversity media. The U lopment, ve de ity un m m courses in co of other ongst a host psychology, am essful cc su Omondi, a courses. Eric ares his sh r ne ai rt te d en comedian an … es perienc campus life ex
D
ts 0 studen rox 8,00 p r p e A iv : R n i io tion: Ath NaiPopulat , pus Loca s u m p a m C a c in Ma River es: Athipus Campus basa cam ukenya m o M , s u L p r, m e a c rn i o rob om c ts: Freed Hot spo . get away ndi Eric Omo Alumni: didn’t expect to make it to Uni so I didn’t have much expectations I actually didn’t make it into Uni initially thanks to mathematics! NKT! I had to do a bridging course to join Uni. My Uni did more than meeting my expectations. I had so much fun going through Uni, studying what I always dreamt of, meeting different people and nurturing my talent. There was so much freedom you had to be careful. Growing up, I always wanted to be on TV for reasons that were not clear to me back then. So my dream course was Communication
I
or or Mass Com as it’s called. My dream Uni was Daystar where I landed so that went pretty well. My Uni honestly is the best we have around. It gave me so much space to grow and their hands-on policy worked magic for me. It is while at Daystar that I discovered my talent and even later met Churchill still at a function in Daystar. The rest, as they say is history. The coolest joint at Daystar Athi-River campus is “KWA JOSHU” and the other joint is “GLADOS” both are school canteens run by Joshu and Glado..the biggest personalities outside class. I had so much fun while at Uni. I am spoilt for a particular choice. There’s this time we took like 1000 guys to Arusha for recess. Now that was
just just legendary! Now, talk about hearing weird stuff in Uni. Imagine our security men had a code word for students and it was ‘SUNGURA’ and they had a code word for themselves ‘NGAMIA’! I kept overhearing them say “ ngamia one come in, kuna sungura wawili kwa fence over and out” Uni has played a key role in making me since it was thea I nurtured my talent and met my mentor , Churchill! I also loved the fact that cases of alcoholism and immorality were at a minimum, since I was in a strict Christian institution but they were there...trust me they are always thea…but guess who is mostly affected… FRESHMEN! Oh yes FRESHMEN! Haiya! FRESHMEN BE WARE!
It is while at Daystar that I discovered my talent and even later met Churchill, still at a function in Daystar 18
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feature
Y IT S R E IV N U K A R A B KA
kilometers from Nakuru on Kabarak is a Christian based university. It’s built on a 600 acre farm located twenty courses. These include of variety the Nakuru-Eldama Ravine Road in the Rift Valley. The campus offers a large its bachelor’s degree in for d acclaime Bachelors Of Theology, Education, Law amongst others. It is however highly Computer Science. Let’s find out what Kabarak Uni is like…
I
went to Kabarak University in Nakuru. My Uni was a different kinda University because it sadly had all these restrictions basically because it was founded upon strong Christian values...:-( I had fun in Uni, but it was in secrecy...we were the pioneers of that Uni so it was a bit easy for them to control us, which they did, but trust me....we were creative enough to ensure we had fun. I kinda miss those days though I was the geek type in High School..was so my focus was actually index one in books..(how boring ) University for me was to be something different, a whole new experience....forget the routine books..I expected fun, I wanted to taste that other side of life..the freedom, the party....basically, I expected Uni to let me discover the person that I truly was without any inhibitions and restrictions whatsoever. Would I really advocate for guys to join my uni?? Mhh, let’s see…Yes I would...any day. Kabarak University had and still has that sense of an academic aboard. The perfect haven for focused learning. Maybe it’s because of its setup, but trust me...for those who want to get the best out of a tranquil environment, then Kabarak University is the place to be. The Christian values upon which the University was founded are a solid start to the start of adult life. We all need a little bit of spirituality in us, Kabarak offers that and more. I don’t know if stuff has changed but, I loved the menu :-) Kabarak instilled the deep inclination to religion which I still uphold till today... Kabarak University made me realize that without God, everything else if futile and short lived. I guess I’m humble and despite the success I never let it get to my head because of all the values I learnt... Humility is key..and God hates the proud.
Kabarak Uni...back then ( I graduated in 2005 ) never had so much going on....I’m not so sure about now, but the students centre was a cool hangout joint. In Uni I was that guy who always had the plot...so fun for me in Uni was the party..I was the life of the party..so any time anything involving fun times was going on..I was the go to guy. I have good memories of Dimples Nakuru and Taidys...some fun can't be put on print Ati the craziest thing I’ve ever done! Depends, you want the truth or a lie? haha..there was this one time...we was coming from the rave and I witnessed two mamis fighting over ...( wait for it )....fighting over a chick...How twisted is that? This two mamis wanted the same chick...crazy I know Freedom in Uni is relative...but on a personal opinion, I think Uni does give peeps a lot of freedom. Uni doesn't operate on the strict life controlling routine that high school tends to offer. One chooses what to do and when to do whatever. I tend to think that Uni lets someone grow..due to its freedom...you are your own person and voice of reason... Word of caution, freshmen are most prone to vices such as drinking, sex and all that other stuff. Probably because of the mentality that comes along with joining Uni..They check into Uni with the excitement about the freedom Uni has to offer… hence introduction to alcohol, premarital sex, unwanted pregnancies.. etc... It’s cool to have fun in Uni, just approach stuff with a clear head and remember what took you there in the first place!
udents y 3000 st road. proximatel ap ama ravine : ld n E o ti ula ur u Nak Pop : n o ti ca pus Lo s Main Cam n Campus Nakuru Tow ming pool, sports area s: se u p am e C im th e sw id or ov do pr : Out lawns that ed Hot spots ad sh r its tree Famous fo studying bience for am t ec rf pe e, J Crèm Alumni: D
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.. eone grow m o s s t le u Uni edom...yo e r f s it o due t on own pers r u o y e r a ason... e r f o e ic and vo
feature
he University of Nairobi (UoN) is the largest university in Kenya. Its histo ry as an educational institution goes back to 1956 . It become an independent university in 1970 when the University of East Africa was split into three independent universities: Makerere University in Uganda, the University of Dar-es-Salaam in Tanzania, and the University of Nairobi. The university offers a broad variety of courses. It is however better know n for its Bachelor’s Degrees in Engineering, Architecture and Mass Communication. The Univ ersity of Nairobi is known to be one of the best local unive rsities in Kenya. It has helped mould many politicians, businessmen as well as celebrities in our local entertainment industry.
T
i
initially wanted to study at Makerere Universipeople who come from all over Kenya who become life-long friends. ty cause I attended my O’ and A’ levels in KamThe culture integration one experiences is amazing. Then there are pala Uganda but then what I wanted to study the lecturers who dare you to dream more and learn more and at varsity was not being offered at Makerere through this you just thirst for knowledge. The opportunity to be part University. I eventually studied at the Univerof exchange programs with students all over the world is also really sity of Nairobi’s School of Art and Design cause cool. the design course that I wanted to do was being Wow! There were so many fun varsity experiences but all of them offered there. It felt really good to do something involved having my friends with me. I had three friends with whom that I loved and genuinely enjoyed my four years of we were inseparable. We bought roasted study. It was even more maize, smokies et al at ‘agony hill’ togethamazing when my parer with no care in the world lol. We bought A.K.A UON ately 55,000 students xim ents were behind me stuff to cook at ‘club’ ( yer we just ate pro Ap : ion lat pu Po : Nairobi 100% not taking up ate and ate some more lol). The most fun Main campus Location , , Chiromo campus pus the more convenwas the nights we would spend in class cam uyu Kik s: use Camp tional courses that finishing up projects for our ‘pin up’ end campuses, Parklands Upper and Lower Kabete people are accusyear exhibitions and walking to ‘Sanford’ pus cam uyu Kik and campus dge, Riverra, wle tomed to studying at 8a.m to buy fries half awake and trying kno of in nta Fou Hot spots: The in Kenya. to keep each other awake. l Hil Agony My expectations Varsity gives you freedom; a lot of it. The Alumni: Avril for varsity were only thing about the freedom is that if really big. Due you misuse it, it has consequences. You to my being in a boarding have to learn how to control your own freedom and manage your school, missionary at that, I had this vision time because there are no bells and people to run around to chase that varsity was going to be a blast with you to class. You just pay for that by failing a course or having to all the freedom; walking in and out of start the course all over again. school when I felt like it. I also could I have to say that varsity has molded me into so many things; my not wait to manage my own time tolerance, my knowledge about business and art, my professionalthe way I felt like managing it. Cool ism in handling things, my personal growth and a lot more. I attribute thing is, for me varsity actually lived up all the mentioned to the people who taught me and held my hand to all my expectations. I had so much through school. In very many ways I am the designer, artist and freedom and time on my hands, just had meticulous businesswoman I am today because of my experiences in to know how to manage it and take care varsity. not to miss classes or be irresponsible Alcoholism and freshmen, well I think that would be a question to with my time. ask the relevant authorities really. My sentiments regardless are If you’re looking to join varsity, then UON that everyone is responsible for their own decisions in life and the is the place to be. The University of Nairobi consequences for the choices that one makes cannot has so much to offer. First there are the really be blamed on an institution or other people.
ere Wow! Th any om were s ity rs fun va es nc experie www.theinsyder.com November
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horoscopes
UNI-SCOPE
0)
2 1-June
(May 2 Gemini
KENYA INSTITUTE OF MASS COMMUNICATION (KIMC)GEMINI They are always on the move and thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. This is not surprising as they are curios and sometimes even mischivieous. They enjoy knowing a little bit of everything but not too much about one particular subject. Variety is the spice of their lives!
To 404’s, see what uni your star repps! Aries (March 21-April 19) They are adventurous, active and outgoing. It doesn’t matter where you go or how remote or unusual the place is, you can be sure that they have been there! Or at the very least you will meet one along the way. Although they are independent, outgoing and assertive they are also surprisingly trusting, often innocently walking into a lion’s den.
USIU
Pieces (February 19-March 20) MULTIMEDIA UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OF KENYA-PISCES Fun… Most MMU guys are extremely talented. They secretly want to avoid feeling alone and want to live their dreams and turn their fantasies into realities. MMU guys are known to be mad fun and cool to hang around. They are very successful in theatre arts as well!
Libra (September 23- October
MASENO-LIBRA To live an easy, uncomplicated life is their secret desire. Their charm usually wins them jobs and provides powerful friends. However their major problem in both work and play is that they often say “yes” when they should be saying no.
DAYSTAR-TAURUS al and finann in pursuit of emotion Daysterians are ofte . These guys a determined energy cial security and have en though they t from the crowd ev manage to stay apar lites. They utation for being socia have a well earned rep as they want se but only as close will let others get clo them.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
UON (University of Nairobi)-CANCER Moody, is one word that describes UON. They are a bundle of contradictions. Compassionate with family, friends and lovers yet they can cut to the bone with their jealous remarks. They appear hard and insensitive on the outside (stone throwing) but deep down we know ya’ll are softies and that’s what makes you special. 22
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ary 19)
ember 22-Janu
Capricorn (Dec
KEMU-CAPRICORN ir friends and even the admired by other uni’z, the They secretly desire to be never content with their erent groups, the first are world! They are of two diff up has little ambition and ch the top. The second gro achievements until they rea pushed. small domain unless they are is happy to remain within a
ust Virgo (Aug ber 22) m 23-Septe
Taurus (April 20 -May 20)
22)
MOI-VIRGO Their secret desir e is to love and be loved but often put down badly as being fussy and narrow minded. Most of them work in the “service to others” industry ranging from welfare work, doctors, and school teachers through to practicing natural forms of healing like the alluring stone massage.
Leo (July 23-August 22) NAZARENE-LEO “Flattery will get you everything” applies to these peeps but be warned; criticism will slam the relationship door right in your face! They attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities but manage to survive life’s stormy times with style and good humour.
JKUAT (JOMO KENYATTA UNIVERSTIY OF AGRICULTURE AND TECHNOLOGY)SCORPIO They are resilient and often fight to triumph and survive against all opposition. These “old souls” are wise beyond their years and sometimes have difficulty finding what they need to develop their own happiness. For them, passion, desire and power go hand in hand. Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
KU (KENYATTA UNIVERSITY) – SAGITARIUS Frequent burnouts are usually the result for these guys for being overly expressive in their pursuit to live a good life. You can’t tie them down, they are free spirited individuals and these can be frustrating to those around them. They are big hearted, generous and fun loving.
EGERTON-AQUARIUS They are always striving to be unique and original. They march to their own tune and drum. Their thoughts never stop tick tocking because of their high focus on intellectual exploration.
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st titoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got talent
BFFs You know who we be! Repping Kikuyu day King and queen of dance
Kukula tu! FBI was in the hizzle
MC Queen Really?
Girl Power Pretty Girls swag
Crazy Titans
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It was jam packed!
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cover story
DOES WHAT I ? AY G E M AKE M K ROC
This feature does in no way depict or imply the sexual orientation of the individuals photographed. They are merely models posing for illustrative purposes.
cover story
THE MUM’S TAKE!
Y
our dressing does portray who you are, whether you are a lesbian or gay. But what we need to understand about the complex issue of whether one is gay or not is that we are all human. Personally I believe that homosexuality is a sin, but nobody is perfect. But Just as I would accept a liar or an adulterer is the same way that I will also accept a homosexual. It’s the sin that God hates, not the person. So who am I to judge? However I don’t believe anyone is born is gay, they choose to be. But if one day my son came to me and said “mum, I am gay”, there’s nothing much I would do about it because it is the path he has chosen for himself. To avoid that though, I will ensure that he has a perfect upbringing. There’s only so much a parent can do after your child has left the nest. But we as parents are also to blame for the path our children
The pastor’s take
W
no
! homo
am not my clothes
I I AM WHO I AM DESPITE WHAT ’T WEAR, BEING WITH IT DOESN MAKE ME GAY! 26
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hen a girl dresses like a boy or a boy like a girl, he or she is struggling with gender identity issues. The way one was brought up, hurts from dad or mum, sexual abuse, peer pressure or media influence does cause gender confusion in teens. These underlying issues need to be dealt with because they distort femininity and masculinity. Every girl should embrace the beauty of femininity and every boy the power of masculinity. To try and be what one is not is stressful and limiting. If you as a teen are confused about your sexuality, talk to someone who can help. Talk to a counselor or a spiritual leader like a pastor. The guide will help you understand the root causes and help you deal with them so that you will be free to celebrate your gender. Do not make conclusions too fast. Many teens conclude that they are lesbians or homosexuals just because of the feelings they have. Attractions towards same sex do not make you a homosexual. It is pointer to some foundational issues that you need to deal with.
THE TA’S TAKE
S
ometimes, people dress provocatively to gain attention and to get noticed. Cheap or tart people could unfortunately be dressing that way out of desperation, doing everything to be accepted....These desperate acts to fit in to the crowd will eventually lure teenagers into homosexuality. I believe (and most Kenyan schools too) that it is not acceptable to be gay. It’s actually risky! There are cases where students have nearly lynched fellow students suspected of being gay. We are in a very traditional society brought up in clear cut norms where heterosexuality is what is commonly accepted. But the Western world’s influence on us plays a huge role in shaping the teens sexual preferences. We didn’t know what being gay or lesbian was till we saw it in the movies. Who then turned the
choose because we like to assume that they know, yet no one is teaching them anything. One thing I am not good at is sugarcoating, yes I will accept my son as gay or daughter as a lesbian but I will never stop reminding them that it is wrong! Clothes can also hide one’s sexuality; a gay man can decide to dress in baggy t-shirts and jeans just to appear tough and very manlike. But deep down he knows that his dressing only serves to conceal and throw people off from the issue at hand. There’s nothing wrong with girl dressing like a boy, it’s a phase some girls go through-the tomboy phase. But eventually some outgrow it and start dressing like ladies. However some don’t, but once in a while it doesn’t hurt to dress like a girl. But for a boy to dress like a girl, trully something is amiss. What we expose our children to too, especially in • Curiosity – “What would it feel like?” • Past issues – Dad or mum wounds drive many into homosexuality to dull the pain, revenge against men or women or just coz they hate the opposite sex. Sexual abuse could lead to this as well. Identity crisis is another cause. • Influence – some have been influenced by the media or by their friends. Those who are active in it have a way of evangelizing to recruit more – in schools or during vacations. “I have read a lot about homosexuality. I have worked with some. I have come to the conclusion that no one is born homosexual. No single research has been able to prove that. Those who are struggling with this should get help and realize that they do not have to live with It”. We dress for people, and the way we dress always communicates a message. Teens struggle with identity, love and approval. Many dress to fit in, some to look for or communicate love, and some to boost their self-esteem and identity. Mike who has an identity crisis, for example, will try to stand out in his dressing as a way of
teens in the western world to such behaviour? For sure it cannot be genes...Blame it all on parents, but maybe poor parenting i.e. when sexual desire starts developing a child should be guided on how it should be focused and dealt with. Tell a kid it is normal to desire the opposite sex lest they misplace that desire. Schools and our community at large, when I say community I mean the schools that are not in the towns and the cities (those not yet affected by mass media) haven’t accepted this culture. You obviously can’t tell whether a person is gay or lesbian just by looking at them (apart from the super gay ones who go snapping their fingers and what not...)But as much as I feel it’s not acceptable it’s not right to judge them because they are in a very confused position. How properly you dress matters a lot if you don’t want to be mistaken for what you are not. For
The views and opinions expressed in this feature are those of the interviewees and do not necessarily reflect the views or official position of The Insyder magazine and Teenwise Media Limited.
their teen years can greatly affect their decisions in future. They are at a stage where all they want to do is follow what they see on TV because they want to imitate these stars. I mean, How is one man kissing another man normal to anyone? But as much as we lay blame to the western culture which we foolishly follow, I also feel sorry for those children who are gay/lesbian because of unfortunate situations like molestation. This is what they see as normal and took it up from there. JUSTINA WANJIRU Parent to a teen
boosting himself. Whereas for Wanjiku who thinks she has the goods will try and show them off – an inner issue of pride or superiority complex or just plain lust. I think the way one dresses is just an indicator or an issue that needs to be addressed. One can guess a person’s character by their dressing. Generally, from a jamaa’z Pastor S with his wife perspective, a chick that exposes too much skin is likely to be sexually active. She knows (or should know) that jamaaz get moved by what they see so she must be on a mission to move them – intentionally or not. A jamaa would go for a skimpily dressed woman for casual sex but look to a conservative chick for a serious relationship. Once teens understand this, they will be careful in their dressing and choices. Pastor Simon, Pastor at Mavuno Church
example you won’t wear a suit to the beach, or bikini to the office. Scottish people wear kilts, to me that’s a dress and you would have to slap me silly before I wear one of those. However, that’s their orientation so to them, it’s normal. Your dressing will leave a lasting impression on someone the first time they meet you, so why not dress with modesty and propriety. Franklin Osusu Teacher at Nyambaria Boys
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The views and opinions expressed in this feature are those of the interviewees and do not necessarily reflect the views or official position of The Insyder magazine and Teenwise Media Limited.
cover story THE EXPERT’S TAKE to homosexualIs there a relation w teens dress? ity in line with ho in skinny jeans, g sin es E.g. boys dr e boys, etc. lik g and girls dressin portray who de co s es dr ’ es Does on be perem th ke they are or ma ciety? Does it so by gly on wr d ceive ality? indicate their sexu sex and sexuality Issues to do with derstood well, in un t are always no s this is because many circumstance taught to think en be ve ha of how we e years while th er about sexuality. Ov we are condiwe are growing up different social to nd po tioned to res constructs. l construct One common socia ard, gender reg is th In er. is gend rceived male pe to basically refers es rol . Further, and female social
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THE
TION QUES
CONGRATS!
ct defines the the gender constru nnerisms’ etc. ma , ing ss dre of mode le who tend op pe y wh This explains e sex are sit po to dress like the op sed from res dig ve ha to perceived of them in cts pe ex what the society nder. relation to their ge y who dresses in For instance, a bo be perceived to be ll wi es th skinny clo that he might be g feminine indicatin who dresses like gay; likewise a girl t to be a lesbian gh ou th a boy will be erred to as a tom and commonly ref boy. complex; it encomSexuality is more al, psychological, ion ot passes the em social aspect of physiological and fore, the mode ere Th l. ua an individ sms and other eri nn of dressing, ma not necessarsocial attributes do orientation or al xu se ’ es ily define on ur. their sexual behavio
Apart from ma relatives wa Osama, Ni nani ninani ninani ana noma, Manga strepsils ikiwa una homa, Insyder zote ni lazima tutasoma.
ttest
ho
hunk
sses butch?
Andreo
Big Pin
TEEN SPEAK
bila mbrrrKila nyani na starehe yake… asinipige tu a bor e, dat cha! Naeza mhunyo. nya e luli chu ani mangumi ama
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chick who Yeah I would date a m boy...I’m dresses up like a to es im not dating the cloth ... on rs pe e dating th
Red Corner Jina ya Gova: Alexius Ngugi Msanii: El-shoozies/Gaicha Track: Mag ya Wasee Reppin: Njiiri School
Would you date a chick who dre
Mbusi
FLOETRY FURY
I've never really thought about it. .. Although, I don't think so! I mean, I don't judge but, I don't really think it would work ou t between us...
TICH TOWETT NG’E (304) PATCH
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Ziona Ndirangu Whether my friend is gay or not won’t affect me. It’s something that has been happening for a while around me so I won’t be that shocked. I think it’s normal; people can be who they wanna be without getting side eyes from people just because of their preferred sexuality. You don’t just wake up one day and decide that ur gonna be gay, it must have stemmed from somewhere.
Hogla Mkakisha Homosexuality is something that in most cases starts in high schools, and often is about experimenting new stuff. Actually it’s quite normal too. But peer influence is also playing a major role in it. For example if Katy Perry Sings “I kissed a girl and I liked it” if she’s doing it why can’t I or anyone else do it? I mean she’s freakin’ Katy Perry!
Nikiget tisho ya black kikopey nitahama, Although ningelike kuishia na ka-hummer, Kuichop mimi nikila nyama,
hottest Blue Corner Jina ya Gova: Kenn O Omondi Msanii: O’KennO Mbaybe/Mkadinali Track: Dis Rapper Reppin: Upper Wanajifanya marapper, nikiwaita stage wanalapa We rapper, nacome kukanyaga style ya malapa Walapa! Ka we ni rapper kam hapa Uone vile mafala huaga wanachapwa Mistari zangu siku hizi naskia zinapigwa chapa Mi nakam kusaka makapa Mah8rs nawadimbua ka papa Yani wao ndio my supper Nina meno saba-uniitange sabre tooth Bado am alive n kicking Niko hai na napigana mateke Mafala namake sure wasicheke Watoke teke, wateseke! Ni O’KennO Mbaybe
SO, YOUR FRIEND IS GAY WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Tattiana Manka What! I will definitely start avoiding her coz she might probably start hitting on me too. And if she were a true friend then she would have told me about it a long time ago. It’s hard not to judge because these are things I only see on TV. However much I’ll try to be okay with it I think it will always bug me no matter how tight we are.
Wametufunza mob na I hope hawatakoma, Forward forever na hatutawahi rudi nyuma By da way nimesikia hii rumour, Na mateeniez wawili waliokuwa wakimurmur, Mag ya wasee inasomwa hadi burma,
MARIA GORETTI (304) CHOXX Models dressed by
Against All Odds Fisrt Floor Prestige Plaza, Ngong Road
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NEMBU GEE
Hildavan (304) to Alfred Makwabe (204) Uppah Miss ya big! Hildavan (304) to Issack Hussein (404) Ridgeways. Miss ya and luv you so much Sophie Mitto (304) to Marcus Githua (304) Its been too long. Sophie Mitto (304) to Frank Chonde Sema Frank, long time no see miss ya big tym. Primerose (304) to Nelly – Millan (404) Kathiani Always treasured. Miss you big. Deno (204) to Lynn Wambui (204) Huruma Gee Miss you a lot cutie Wambugu (204) to Farida Wacera (204) Karoti galz Gal, I’m missin u a lot. Kiss via the mail, mwaaah! Haleem (204) Changez to Darvin Ocholla (204) Quabbz Missing you big Lumbasi Joseph (Mux Bee) to Linet (St. Mary’s Sosio) I miss you baiby I need you ryt by by ma syd. Bonnie (404) Mux Bee to Rina (304) KG Ur so xquisite. Passion ya n il always b dreamin 4 U Anastacia (304) to Marley (404) Tala High Always in my heart man Brian (Sigalame) to Lister (St. Agnes Shibuye) Cuzo miss you big Birdgal to Badman (404) Watch every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every tym I pray, al b missing you Ivy (304) to David (304) Mang’u For me to say this means u r truly special. Thanx for coming into my life at the ryt moment. I miss you. Brian (304) Sigalame to Becky (304) Butere Gal miss you big long time not seen. Harry Potter (304) Easich to Cory (304) Parky Arya If friendship was a gamble then ours is a safe bet friends forever. Babbz (404) to Nyash (404) Patch Nakupenda sana bro Winnie Mumbi (304) to Daphnie Wanjiku (404) Shiners Gee You are one in a zillion and da best siz in tha
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world. Chop hard and know that I miss you and that our mail box still exists. Luv ya. Ms. Nembu 09’ – 10’ (304) to all Uppahillians (404) Mob mapenzi y’all. Sophie Mitto (304) to Ken Orwa (304) Wassup! We gonna fly high Sophie Mitto (304) to Edwin Ochieng’ (304) Hi Edu, have a fab tym Sophie Mitto (304) to Mwangi Kaminju (304) I’ve got lingua for you. Cate Lila (304) to Eric Tura (304) Hi why da silence. Have a fab time. Aphline (304) to Boston (304) Maranda High. To me u are a diamond that is rare to find Primerose (304) to all Lukenya G chiqs (404) Nawamiss vishenzi. Keep it wired n chop crazy. Success. Primerose (304) to all Vyulya chiqs (304) Sijawasahau. Miss y’all big. 3B mob luv. Primerose (304) to Diana Akinyi (404) Hospital Hill I hope zile dance skills zetu bado ziko. Msi-retire kama mimi missing you Primerose (304) to Nelly B (404) Parky Njaro zako za mtaani utawacha, kumbuka wasse wako and don’t loose ur swagger. Mob luv. Winnie Mumbi (304) to Ridhwani (404) Khamisi Bee Coast. Nakuhata tu sana and just long to see ya luv ya and keep it real lakini don’t luv to much na usahau kuchop. Success. Diane (304) to Martin (304) Lukenya Bee We ride together; we die together, best friends for life. Shaquille (204) to Darline (304) Happy Birthday Alice Nish (404) Kartvil to Bryo Mwangi (404) Thika Hae Instead of counting ua birthdays annually ill always be counting miracles blessing daily just 4 u Shiru (204) to Cele (204) Quabbz Have an extra fantabulicious b day n a year full of fun n yeh chop hard Mic Mutuku to exchangerians Thanks everyone who made my day special Crispus Owiti to Jamel Mumina Happy birthday mzee (Thaks Buda- Jimmie) Mulama Collins to
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Your friendship is the illest. Mob love Denoh (404) Kiburu to Edith Wanga (404) Moi Equator Keep in mind you are still the bestest. Missing you! Denoh (404)Kiburu to Angela (404) Elite Senior Sch Your kisses are hot like fire. I love you, mwaah Peris Hugzville Robin Kibisu (404) Vihiga Miss u much chop hardest! Sarah Awuor Hugzville to david Phillip Munene Parky (404) Manze! Chop hard! Life ni hard Natasha Hugzville to Anto Lenana Pamoja as always Nicole Hugzville to Bill Jamu (204) Luv u always Vivian Hugzville (Nile Road) to Bill Jamu (204) Miss you Jacky Hugzville (Nile Road) to Tuff ditches (404) Chop smart! Its nice being your friend Takerz AQ to Gilliane Parky, Givers Parky and Huruma Girls Whats up? Anto AQ to Christine and Rebecca, Kagumbiri Gee Semeni!!! Elcy Minaj Hugzville to Mathew (404) AQ Wish to see ya!!! Celishei Alabaster Hugzville to Anto ma luv (404) AQ Ma lov Celishei Hugzville to Caro and Chege AQ Chop hard maisha ni gwan Miss ya Brenda Rita (304) Luxville Gee to Stacy Washuka and Lyren (304) St Francis Mang’u You galz are da best palz one can ever get. Denoh (404) Kiburu to Ann (404) Tumutumu Gee Your friendship is the illest. Mob love You are my best pal
CHANIA BEE
Patty (404) to Lucie Muruiki (404) Karoti Gee Pole kwa mabaya yaliyokutendekea. Next time ukikuja we’ll purchase another phone. Otherwise miss you big. Patty (404) to Julie (3040) Komothoi Gee Was silence the answer? Eric Hunoytong (404) to Bianca Nannay (404) Mugoiri Gee Kill the silence mrembo. Kevin Kibuku (304) to Vygnett Shesh (304) Katichia Gee Love you vi gwannest. Sammy G (404) to Essy (304) Choxx Break the silence gal! Sammy G (404) to Rahb (204) Boma I love you major. Sammy G (404) to Njeri (404) Naivasha Gee Chop hard and take care gal. Stevo (404) to
Christine (404) Mt. Carmel Forever in my heart coz you are the sweetest. Marto (404) to Joy (404) St Gee I love you and will always do. Ray Collo (404) to Eurellah Mary (304) Mount Still waiting for the big thing. Fasly Ididi (404) to Sharon Muthoni (404) Oasis Gee Keep it locked. Gabson Jr (204) to Rebikitar Becky (204) Karoti Gee You be the sweetest thing in my life. Mbugua (204) to Emily (204) Birithia Always love you. Dixie (204) to Cecelia (204) Lockwood Gee I love you big. Kenne (404) to Shiku (404) Mungu Always on my mind. Ian (204) to Joyce (204) Tito Always on my mind. Karanja (304) to Trizah Wangui (204) Quabbz Love You! Nyash (404) to Mercy (204) Mesmerized by your looks. Collins (404) to Dana BG (304) You are the only one for me. Patty (204) to Shee (304) Kihu Best cuzo ever and sweetest pal for life. Say hi to Purity and tell her maringo apunguze! Ray Collo (404) to Leah (304) Pangoe Usinyamaze sana Katesh (404) to JB Mugoiri You are the only one. Mwendia (404) to Christine (304) MFA Lanet Break the silence. Kabaku (404) to Juliana (404) Marry Immaculate Best palz forever. Martin Mugo (404) to Angie Karuiki Buru Gee Cuzo, keep it rock forever. Martin Mugo (404) to Maryam Abubakar Qubarr Academy You know you are the love of my life, ama? Work hard! Reuben Guchu (404) to Angie Wanjiku Gatanga Brown Wassup, how you doing? Reuben Guchu (404) to Juliet G.G Choxx Friends forever. Sniper (404) to Braisy (304) Tumutumu Gee Bado sisemi kitu. James Njuguna (404) to Nelly Njeri Rwathia Friends for life, ama? Mob Love XOXO. Dennis Mbuthia (Maxzim) to Saumu Nassin Tumutumu Love loud and clear. Mathew Faymat (404) to Sylvia Wainaina Muthiga Gee Life with you was an experience. Brian Karanja (304) to Afroniah Wanjiru (304) Kibz Gee Hope you are fine…
until next time! David Karanja (304) to Loura Kena (204) Alliance Gee Miss you big swiry. Philip Murage (204) to Cynthia Wambui (204) Tumutumu Gee Break the silence hun! Ian Mithia (204) to Vanessa (204) Mahiga Gee Love you big sweets! David Ranjulitu (304) to Lennah Nyambura Graceland Gee Miss you big sweets and please break the silence. James karoki (304) to Juck Stankovich Kahawa Garison Chop hard maze! Ian Waweru (304) to Stacious Pangoe Love you much. David Karanja (304) to Trizzah Wangui (204) Quabbz I know your legs are too tired coz you are always running in my mind!
NG’IYA GEE
Fay Uhuru (304) to Yunia Sandra (304) Lwak Gee Hey bad gyal, how is Rafiki? I’m sure he is really yearning for you. Hahaha.Cherished. Yvonne (304) to Allen (104) Maranda Hard work is usually on accumulation of easy things that should have been done last week. Joanne to Erique Gordon (304) Changez We share one thing in common and guess what? It is …oops! Next time Sgaron Bella (304) to Fred Dete Wassup cuzo kwani ni how? Must I send a Cadbury SMS ‘I miss you’ ndiyo urealise nimekumiss? Pay me a visit some time and break the silence. Winny Ojwang (304) to Trevor Mnyun (104) Chianda Aje bro. I wish you good times in skool and jitokeze outings kibao! Becky (304) to Lucy (304) Hospital Hill This Dec I will be home so nongojee! Store a big warm hug for me sis. Miss you most. Dianah Dee (304) to Marie Claire (304) Lockwood Gee Try to do your best and will inspire to do the rest. Love you! Mitchy (304) to Rodgers (304) Ukwala Bee If you mean it do it. Crave towards achieving your goal. Mobest love! Faith Uhuru (304) to Marion Akinyi & Joy Ocholla (304) Boma Life can be unthinkably cruel and lonely if you try to do it all by yourself. Love y’all peeps. Nicki Winki (304) to Saints Yala Get ready to mingle boyz coz the bond has been revived.Yeah! Rebz (304) to Anto Abat (304) Usenge
Bee Lucy alikugotea. Be a struggler so not to end up as a hustler. Yvonne (304) to Samson (204) Maseno If you wanna go high you must first go deep. Lotsa XOXO! Diannah Dee (304) to Onyi (304) Maranda Miss you very much. Joan (304) to Francis (304) Bush Bee Hallo friend! Faith Uhuru (304) to Joe (304) Maseno Hey! Kwani are you dead and extinct? Fungua roho yako na ongea. Stay fly! Sharon B to Anto Abat (304) Usenge Incase today was a world secret day, you know what I would tell you. So find out! Nicki Winky (304) to Rita Emmaculate St. James Sema small sis, I have missed you so keep that in mind until next holz. Mitchy (304) to Alphone (104) KB Sky is never the limit so aim higher. Benta (304) to Dennis (304) Ambira What goes around comes around. Winnie (304) to Clive (204) Ambishe Chop hard bro, life ni gwann. Shish (304) to Shem (404) Saints Yala Never mind, coz you will come to appreciate it all. Grace Abungu (304) Turphosa Ochieng (304) Lwak Gee Howz life there? Chop smart. Maureen (304) to Prince Oduor (204) Kanga Hi guy mbwaku. Kama ni vector ya kukimya nimepiga saluti. Lourine (304) to Ann (304) K.G Hi friend, I hope you have kepy your promise. Lydia (304) to Dary Omondi (204) Maranda Halla cuz. I wish you fantabulous moments at skool. Cheer up and soma. Shez Winnie (304) to John (304) Jamhuri Baby you got me, and I aint going nowhere. I’ll be in your arms and go nowhere but up. Shez Cyndy Achola (304) to Winnie Achieng (104) Mbaga Gee Chop smart sis. Life is not a bed of roses. Georgyne (304) to Elvis (304) Moi Ulema Still remembering you. Edith (304) to Sylvia (304) Mary Hill Gee Hope to hear from you soonest. Mildred Monica(304) to Chris Anthony I love you bro. Bro and sis for life. Gotea that ka chic of yours. Poa! Dianah Gisoi (304) to Dennis Ombaki Mang’u Distance never separates a heart that cares. Mwaaahest! Yvonne (304) to Nancy (404) Buru Gee
Do you/your skool want to feature on The Insyder Big-Ups corner? Send your big-ups to yuaholla www.theinsyder.com P.O Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi or Text 0718 000002
All great achievements require time and persistence. Chop smart gyal. Faith Uhuru (304) to Clinton Sylvester (404) Saints Yala You know saints are sinners who kept going. Hahaha! Stay fly Jannice (304) to Gerald (104) Rangz Bee Furahia maisha bro. Rebecca (304) to Martin Wanga (404) Katch Bee Emotionally sick? Take panalove. If symptoms persist seek emotional advice. Long time no see, where are you? Charlene (304) to Austine (304) St. Mary’s Yala Take love without hatred. Winny Ojwang (304) to Bill Onaya (204) Jahmu We!! Umenyamaza kwa nini? Sipendi so halla at times. Joanne (304) to Christine Karosi (304) St. Cecilia Misikhu Gee Niaje msupa, remember you need to return the favour. Adios my amigo! Diana (304) to Freddy Jairo (304) Maranda Opportunity knocks but it has never been known to turn the knob and walk in. If you are ready then… Lydia (304) to Rose Bella (404) Lwak Gee Wish you success in your studies bana. Chop smarter . Friends forever. Alice Neccy (304) to Veronica Nduko Makau (404) Miss you big. Always
Quabbz
Nairobi Show rocked with full swagga and glitz as teeniez repped their skools to the max. Check out some of the sizzlin’ pix we took at NITF.
B GUPS
Franklin Bett Bro, zeeka vizuri Charlyne to Mbatia Happy bathday swti hehe Humphrey Kilonzo to Comfort Wambui Its been so long since I saw you but I would never forget your special day Malo to Kelly Happy birthday sunshine Lawrence to Christine Happy bday Estel to Nelson I wish you the most awesomeEST day on your bday and I hope I make your year as special as I feel you are. Kunta Kinte to Courtney Muchina Im sorry I was not there at the re-union but have a swell birthday. Faith (204) Gatanga Gee to Hassan Tuzu (304) Kagumo Hae Missment. Chop vi gwan! Julie Gathoni (204) Gatange Gee to Chalo Ngatia (304 )Nyeri Hae Luv you big bro 4 life Julie Gathoni (204) Gatanga Gee to Bancy Mwangi Hey whats up! John Tallam (304) Koelel High Xul to J.J Heller (204) Pangoe Both our hearts qualify to be a theatre of romance. Gwanest love Kelvin Murai (304) Koelel High Xul to Anne (404) P.B Riruta Let u be the judge n’ am the case Jeff Kamau (404) Koelel High Xul to Carolyn Wambui (404) Loreto Limuru U make me delirious and that’s what I call serious Selestine Hugzville to Alphonse Pumu (404) You make my world go round. Mob love Caro Hugzville to Lynne Ngara Chop smart! We going far…mob love! Faith Hugzville to Ryan (104) Baricho Bee Miss ya cuzo Lilian Hugzville to George Lumumba (404) Ofafa Jericho Hi, miss u too much Juma Murithi (404) Buru School to Stellah Mokaya (304) Kinchez Since the day we met, never has anyone made me feel this way. Love you Dennoh Beauta (404) KI Buru School to Jecinta (404) Kiine Gee Both our hearts qualify to be a theatre of romance. Mob love Mary Hugzville to George Abedi (404) Ofafa Jerico I treasure u always. Say hi to Ken Sharon Hugzville to Laban Waichere (404) Ditchez Chop hard bwoy! Denoh (404) Kiburu to Ann (404) Tumutumu Gee
Nelly (404) to Oscar and Alex Mac Bee (404) Y’all peeps have gone dup! wea r U?? I miss you! Mwix (404) to Kevo (404) Patch I jus miss ua presence! Barbara (404) to Saha (404) AQ Wassup, miss ya bigtym!! Ida (204) to Anto (404) Ditchez Aki nimekuhata vizii, stay fly. Zena (204) to Miguel (404) Jahmu Long tym no talk! Break da silence. Miss ya bigtym. Cynthia Mwash (304) to Sammy Ongash (304) Texas Stop killing me with the silence you’ll make me go mad. I miss you! Nelly (404) to Edu, Karis, Sanchez, Gman and Broz (404) Uppah I love you all. Y’all don’t know how much you mean to me!! Miss you! Winnie Mumbi (304) to Sheila Wambui (104) Mary Immaculate Hope high school is what you expected and you are enjoying it. Luv you and miss you and pliz chop hard.
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SNIPER
YS O B A G CHIN KED C O N K G N I T T E G E! E G E R BY SERA
I
t goes without saying; The Insyder stand is the most rocking place to be at the show ground! Period! So am there chilling, listening to vybez cartel as I Nintendo wii when the guys from Chinga Boys come through, all of them psyched like it was mid-term! They were there to take over. I mean they were ready to dance off, rap off or anything else the I-Qru could throw at them. They declared their intention by making sure that they cleared out the stand and they took part in all activations! With the prizes the I-Qru was hooking up guys with, I could see why? Geek stunners, Magazines, Goodie bags and a lot of I-Qru branded merchandise….. Quietly going about their showing in the corner were the chiles from the all-so fly Serare School and all was all fine until the Chinga Boyz decided to call for a face off against
the Serare chilez! With all their bravado and mad skillz there was no way the Serare chilez who were only 4 could go up against the Chinga guys! How know? The face off started with the Dj dropping -bad mind energy! The “maclutcha” session begins and Chinga is a heavy favorite. Swag yah hii dance iko kwa the silliness! And Chinga Boys can rock it! All the Serare chilez are doing is staring. So to make the compe fair the MC calls for the DJ to play a song everyone can rock to! The DJ after showing off his scratching skills drops THE DOUGIE REMIX and the Serare chilez are in there zone! They know all the moves, I mean all the moves. The Chinga guys try to keep up but wapi! Ts all over…..lmao! Moral of the story, if you think you can dance learn all genres of music cause you don’t know what the DJ will bump! Am so done…
UNDERCOVER BROTHER
The takeover of the Nairobi International Trade Fare
T
he Nairobi International Trade Fair was definitely the place to be. We had people from all walks of life displaying a variety of different kinds of products from there countries. I don’t mean to brag but, I just have to say, the Insyder stand was hands down the baddest corner in the whole place. Then again what do you expect? We had Wii games, play station, lots of goodies and not to mention some of the hottest honeyz this side of the Sahara…popping collar! And like this wasn’t enuff, we took things to the extreme and rolled some of the coolest celebrities down to hang out with our cromies. We had DJ crème, Kaytrixx, Vanika, etc…and guys got to take cool photos with them on the red carpet. Tell me you aint loving us! Anyhuu…let me get down to business. Now, I will not for the life of me eva understand why the NITF did this to us. We were busy doing our thing, dropping some of the hottest hits..I mean our stand was jam packed with teens from all over doing their thing, getting down with the beat and all… then the church, yes, I said church….at the NITF…there was a
S
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o the Nairobi Show went down a couple of weeks ago and boy did people rep their schools. Especially the schools from shagz. Don’t get me wrong, I aint hatin, just recognizing your presence is all. Most evident was the new dance style maclutcher which has bambaad everyone vinoma! And just like every other dance style (although this is a bit different) there’s some weird hand movement, a little bobbing of the head and a ka-turn around that gives it the swag it deserves. Oh, and btw Kasikeu boys and Kikumwi boys(who chooses names for this schools?) there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you haven’t caught on to a new dance style, but if you aren’t sure of it and still do it publicly, boy somebody should just punch
church,,,,right next to our stand and they were doing wait for it…….worship music. Ooh yeah… soo from a distance, it sounded like this… Umetukuka (church)…Here’s to the freaking weekend, I’ll drink to that (Insyder)….Unastahili sifa zote bwana…Oh let the jameson sink in I’ll drink to that! This went on for a while and when they couldn’t take it any mo…the go and call the popo on us, (like really people?) NEMA was all up in our face, telling us they would confiscate all our merchandise. Plus get this… we were causing a disturbance! (Hand on face) It’s the trade fair we are supposed to cause a disturbance…not to mention that the church was also stealing our crowd and enticing them with…Well I don’t know what they were enticing them with but they had to be giving them something! As tha undercover bro went on his daily routine he got hold of some mamas from Ngeni high school. These chiqs from eastern were just oozing swag. They were displaying there colored ray ban glasses. Had the confidence, smile and looks to match! Some chiqs came up to the Mc requesting a jam session, as usual it was given
to them. Wish it hadn’t been!.... Now before I go on, let me just say, all my girls out thea, nobody wants’ to see you private biznizz! So next time you want to shake what your momma gave you, do it with dignity and girl swag…don go pulling up you skirt for the entire world to see your cookie jar! Now with that rather awkward session out of the way… tha undercover bro came to realize something, (Insert light bulb here) the Ding dong and not wearing socks with 3quater trousers swag is sooo in right now! It looks geekishly cool too. According to one teenie fashionista, “kila Nyani Na Starehe zake.” As the crowd grew, let’s just say things started to go missing. Even I-Qru peeps lost wallets. I went sniffing around to find out more about the “sticky hand drama”. It turns out that thugs were using school uniforms to pimp out their looks then pinch unsuspecting peeps who were out to have fun. Some made away with phones, wallets and even raw kuku (just ask kenchik) . Word has it that around 37 dudes were sent to the pen in total. (Sad face)! Alas…I still had mad fun though, the Insyder RULES!! (pop collar)
your lights out! Because one, your embarrassing yourself and two you’re doing irreparable damage to your school’s image! I thought you were having a seizure, and no that was not even cramping. And dude from Othaya Bee, you should have just stayed in school coz that was not dancing at all. My grandma can move better than you. Splits Chillez from Fortsmith and Serare toklezead and did their thing too. No beef there. But girl, if you gotta do a split with a skirt halfway up your thighs, that is just wrong, mmm mmm.(cough cough fortsmith) It was the Nairobi show, not a music video! I know you wanna show your beautiful legs but no one wants to see “your business”, at least not in the open. www.theinsyder.com November
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Funkie Vybe Show
lockwood NALISM DAY Funkie: JOUR OOD KW Scene: LOC Score: 68 Grade: B-
T
his year’s funkie was off to a slow start with random performances from Lockwood chiqs. When dance crews took up to the stage that’s when the life came to the hall. Its for sure that these chiqs were all up to the task of enjoying their day since most of them had high expectations for that day’s event. This was followed by a display of dance moves from the school girls, together with Nakuru day school. These two schools were up in arms to out shine each other with their dance move. Just like the name suggested the funkie was about journalism tha IQRU from together with actors like Madvd, singers like Size 8, M.O.G were all here to represent tha days agenda and that was, “Entertainment Journalism” From our evaluation this day was worth it since socializing was the main agenda of the day. The schools present tried very hard to actually get noticed by tha IQRU, don’t worry though, we did, some of you! But we also did notice was the old, non-functioning haggard looking plane at the entrance of the school. C’mon guys, take it to a museum or something! As usual there is always one winner who outshines the rest. Lockwood girls stole the hearts of the IQRU members when they presented a tasty dish which had a number of delicacies. Food aside, the other bit was the nature and hype of the girls which saw the day become awesome to all those who attended it.
ez g Stan
S
tatoe carried the day in the Mr. and Miss Changes at this year’s Lenana talent day. The event got only three schools, rolling in. Ungem (these dudes clean up nice, ama u borrowed form one’s uni’z…) Riara and Statoe. Changez of course had mad syke and they were on fire from start to finish and didn’t disappoint at all. And speaking of disappointments, peeps that couldn’t come up with the mullah for the entrance fee had to watch thru the window. Better save up for next time. From rapping, dancing to Justin Bieber wanna be acts, Changes wanted to prove that they could do it all, but how well they did it might
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funkie vybe show ES TANG AND S : e i k R. Fun DAY/M T N E TAL GES CHAN s MISS ge : Chan e n e c S : 72% Score :B Grade
be up for debate. Their dance crew got off to a good start but somewhere in the middle the cd got a scratch n peeps thought their act was over. Statoe’s creativity in the modeling category was just awesome; these Chiquita’s can turn a bed sheet into a ball gown! Riara took the shine as they brought their dope dance moves to the floor. But for every move they had statoe one upped them. Oh, and Ungem u better up your game coz Riara dint look like they were feeling you’re vibe.
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L IL W I E K A M L IL IW E K A M E V A H U YO U O Y E K A M L IL W I ! FEUN E V A H K E V A A H U O Y M L L I W I ! N U F E ! N U F V A H U O Y E K A M L IL W I ! UN F I WILL MAKEI WILL MAKE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE FUN! FUN! FUN!
corporate living
[ CORPORATE CHIC ]
I WILL MAKE YOU HAVE FUN!
>>FAST FORWARD
ie Wambita Story by Ann
O
rganising events can be hectic but the most promising skill for anyone who wants to do it is Organising skills. You have to be discipline enough to say these are the things I need to make the event a success and stick to your programme. Of course being a creative person is a must have coz you do not want to do the same old boring events every one else does. That is why when I am organizing an event like Friday Night Basketball I will not only do the kawaida Bball tournament but I will get our own celebz to participate too. It gives syke for fans to attend. You dig! So When you are busy having fun at some gig just know that there is some events manager somewhere sweating her head off to make sure you do. Languages is a must pass! No choice, coz you meet a lot of people so you have to at least have some mode of communication. English, Swa and an extra international language is an added advantage. I may not be fluent but I can make head and tail in French, Spanish and Lingala. I went to hae skool at AWA. Back then we used to call ourselves Lil
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Jahmu, lol! Do not ask me why! Those frog jumps have truly paid off considering it has taught me to understand that at times life can be nasty but yet rewarding. AWA is the kind of skool that not only gives you academic excellence but helped us shape our talents into something grate. My hobbies are of course tweeting and face booking. With the kind of job I do you tend to meet very many people and because I am always on the run, social networking is probably the greatest invention for peeps in my field. Like the other day when I was chatting with Fally Ipupa it kept me on the loop of his whereabouts so that the day I need him to come for another concert, we already have a rapport! Want to be an events organiser? Forget hanging out with olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; peeps coz you make new ones every day. However never forget where you come from. It has made me a social lite from the fact that my daily life revolves around celebz so if you are not ready to see your face on the newspapers every other day or you love your privacy then this might NOT be the job for you.
www.theinsyder.com
Gov Names: Janet Wanjiku a.k.a Ciku Job Title: Events Manager for Code Red Degree: Bachelor of Communications in Public Relations Uni: Makerere University Love: Getting to travel around the world and meeting international celebz; wow like the time I met Jay Z and Busta Rhymes (fond memories)! Hate: Not getting quality time to spend with my folks at home coz I probably work from Sunday to Sunday.
with the CodeRed Djs
With Red Republik
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2.
answer bitch
Control freak!
3.
kruspondentz
in action
1.
4.
5.
6. 8.
Justin & Selena Gomez
7.
Mad love B**** I try to keep up with current news and am guessing u do the same. So is true that Justin Bieber controls Selena Gomez in their relationship just because he makes mo cheddar than her? Coz if it is, that is just sick; she’s too pretty for that crap. Annie, 202. BOMA So according to you, she should not accept to be controlled because she is pretty? So if she was ugly it would be alright? Nkt. Am not even going to answer your question. Am out! A.B Yo AB, Or so u claim coz you never really answer the questions. Jus 1 question. What gender are u? Dude or dudette? I mean you could be a guy n still b**** around right...oh n try answering the question then hate! Don’t give me your not so classic “nkt” or “u r a retard” coz u aint a psychiatrist, r u? Irene K.
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10.
Willlow Smith
9.
NEXT QUESTION! A.B Wassup B**** It’s not that am hating or anything but don’t you think Willow Smith is too young to be in the music industry? She may have parents to protect her from all the crap that goes on like doing drugs but come on…she should be in school studying. Plus now I hear that she has a new single out with Nicki Minaj, are these the kind of role models that a girl her age should have right now? Ciku. Ciku, First of all, who told you that if someone is a musician they automatically stop going to school and start doing drugs? Also again, stop your mbenye and meddling in other guys’ affairs. Who are you to judge? AB
www.theinsyder.com
13. 11.
14.
12. <Multiple intersecting links>
1. Repping The Insyder to the fullest 2. The Insyder family 3. Jus’ Chilling 4. Skamaress 5. Chilling with Dj’s Creme and Kaytrix 6. Zangalewa pia ni mateenie! 7. Red n black was da swag
8. Edu at work! 9. Hogla n Juelz got swag 10. Hawa hawako 11. Mad Love 12. Farida chills with Creme 13. We gat swagg! 14. Furu Furu Dance
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y M p Pim Uniform
Pretty Party
ed for a skool gig Show up all funkifi ur skool uniform. yo g izin or ss by acce s are definitely nd ba Flowered Alice girl ready for a in. rock the pretty it work magic. e se d an party look 800, black @ White Alice band s. Mr. Price ng bli 0 40 @ nd headba
As this acade on an mic ye all tim ar dra w e these simple high by bein s to a windin g the but fu esting g clos coo e, n a from t s well as ve looks to ma lest teen in end your te ry att rm k he cro your s e y our ention wd! grabbin skool unifo kool. Rock r g. Go ahead m inter, stand ou t
street style
Skool’s Out
Hang out in your skool with a simple T and a pair of suspenders to give you a geeky look. Run your own skool court by being the boss of the place when other skools are cumin’ thro’. Blue T-Shirt @1200 blings Mr. Price, suspenders @ 700 blings MR. Price, and plimsoles @ 1400 blings MR. Price.
Cool Catz
Make your skool bottoms trendy by transforming your boring old pants into a pair of really hot pencils. Couple this up with a cool half coat to give you a funky look and your ready to hit the funkiez looking way too hot to handle. Top this up with a pilot shirt to take care of the old skool shirt and voila! Awesomeness! Half coat @ 1200 blings, pilot shirt @ 1200 blings, all from Mr. Price, pants models own
Items available at:
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High Skool Diva Be a diva in your skool by combining a pair of kitten heelz with a half coat and knee length socks. Touch up your look with a few accessories and you’re good to go.
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I-CIN-DY
NEW SKOOL
C
Song
indy! That is the name that people love to keep on their lips all tha time after listening to this new song bird. A laid back kitten by nature you’d have to hear her lyricalise any tune which she is placed in. With the awesome mentorship and management by Ulopa, this chiq is definitely going to be the next big thing in the music scene…….. She recorded her first single when she came out of high skool entitled Ghetto Love, which enjoyed massive airplay in shows like Homegrown (KBC) and KISS TV.
Throw Your Hands Up For These Rockin' Rexona Teeniez
Now under Ulopa she says that her journey isn’t as hard since she has a figure of a father in the music industry helping her out in the music industry. As a proof of this the she has a hit song fresh from the kitchen with Ulopa entitled “Closer,” a favorite on Mambo Mseto .For all tha obstacles that she has endured like another local artist, she is confident to say that, MAMAs is her target and she will stop at nothing till she reaches that goal. Best believe it.
mchuongoano Dear machakosboi’s, It’s hard to imagine that your school was once considered the pride of eastern Province and that it was once considered a privilege to attend Machakosboi’s! How the mighty have fallen from grace. The saddest part about it is that the current clown crop that attends MAC “NUTHIN” doesn’t seem to understand that they are no longer anything to talk about. The final nail on the coffin was the fact that we annihilated (look it up idiot’s) you in last years KCSE and you keep acting like it was a fluke? Give credit where credit is due, we own you! We loved how loud you cried when we gracefully marched to your gates after the exam results were announced and serenaded you with our victory songs. Lol! Stop claiming we are your sister school just because we share a name and the chiles in our school are so fly every other letter we open is from a Mac”nutthin”! What is a mucnuthin? Why would a queen ever consider dating the shambaboi? Don’t get it twisted we aint size 8! What you dudes need to do is get a little more game, stop lighting up all that kush, shower before funkies, buy deodorant(in fact hala at wahu she leteas you rexona), brush your teeth, stop folding up your Traos-it’s just embarrassing with your skinny feet! And kindly leave us alone. Nkt BOY-GOOD LOOKS-SWAGGER=MAC”NUTTINS” Sincerely MAC Gee 42
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Want to be featured as a Rockin’ Rexona Teenie? send us a pic of you and your BFF’s chillin’ out & having loads of fun. Remember to strike a pose showing off your mad confidence. In fact, we wouldn’t mind if you threw your hands up in di air just to let us know how high your confidence levels are. send your pic to: Yuaholla ATT Rockin’ Rexona Teeniez P.O. Box 51634-00200 Nairobi Or email them to: yuaholla@theinsyder.com www.theinsyder.com November
2011
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Purple Monkey
E H T Y L A E IS IT R ? M . E . R F END O Riddim nation
y and strong identit group built a the er m ov l fro wing al rground band a regional follo uring to R.E.M, an unde ss e le th nt le nt re ve lped in globe through ars Athens that he e promotion ye ck sound of th d grass-roots l an be la or alternative ro aj at with a m out to say th before signing ese Th . s) s 1980’s, came rd yr co 31 r Re te rs ting up af (Warner Brothe ms, they were split e 15 major albu ic together. Th us m g guys released in ak m as mileof ed rd ed ga nt re le e ta ng of including som group comprisi music which assist), : Mike Mills (b e in alternative on st , Reckll acts included ), Bi e like: “Murmur (Group leader included som me and Ti of Michael Stipe ck t Bu Ou r , te tk Pe en ist) and oning, Docum is .” th le Berry (drumm d op ha r the Pe e Band leader Automatic fo greatest (guitarist). Th ten, loved and M. one of the lis E. l R. al ll to ca is To th usic is m to say e ry th ra m po em strait fro bands in cont because is supported them ey were forming is ment th n th an understate works of first days whe e dy ar bo a ey th nd n w whe ey leave behi th tivity ea cr the band to no y, ng st hi e built somet breadth, hone “w se , ho up w d g ire tin lit sp is in sp did th s not only together. We and power ha orld, w e k extraordinary th al w nd to ou g ar were goin millions of fans and will thing and now realize has influenced Hope our fans so al it. t m bu fro ay l nerations aw al ge t bu ce n, en sio flu sy deci continue to in rmers for it wasn’t an ea rfo pe d.” d me to an en ng writers an so of r fo things must co e e. ided a templat years to com R.E.M also prov nstream, ck Fathers. ai Ro m e e av th le e id ng Lo bands outs admap ro a e m co be ld one that wou e rock groups. Th for later indie-
! n a w g a Riddimz W
CARDIAC STRING RIDDIM
The latest one drop release from a follow up to last year’s critically acclaimed cardiac bass riddim, cardiac string riddim is a soothing , mid tempo rhythm, with a dominant bass heavy pattern sure to keep the masses jamming for the remainder of 2011
GORILLA RIDDIM
records production, it features some of the big names in the dancehall industry. The riddim has a total number of 11 tracks with Da Professor starting the track up with his hit single Words, Cecil with Rise Up and Vybez Kartel with his popular song Poor people land. Others on the list are: Jah Vinci, Richie spice, Pressure, and last but not least, the talented Ikaya.
On our number one list is most definitely the gorilla riddim. It is a product of the famous and talented DJ Curtis Lynch Junior., this riddim is comprised of the 10 doppest tracks released this year. The track list has hit songs like: Lala Warriors by Tarrus Riley, Herbalist by Calip, Locked away by Chucky Star and the list goes on. The riddim is truly a fine work of art.
FUSS AND FIGHT RIDDIM
THE MESSAGE RIDDIM
Trailing close at number four, Ginjah-no man a no stone, Sophia Brown-lovers rock, Antony Que-your love is all I need, Power man-she gone. These are a few of the ten
The message riddim takes our number two slot but it’s slowly giving Gorilla riddim a run for its money. Being a Don Coleon
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At number three, with only five songs in it, one would under estimate this riddimz but Fuss and Fight riddim is a hit for 2011. It’s a John production and artists like Tarrus riley, Pressure, Sizzla and Louie culture have made it the success it is.
tracks that make up the Lovers rock riddim. Since its release in March this year the riddim has won the hearts of close to all dancehall diehard fans all around the world. Music Mecka Records did a great job in creating this ‘a must listen to’ riddim!
NEW ERA RIDDIM
Awoh!! Talk of a nice blend of music, this is it! Our fifth spot goes to the new era riddim. Young vibes productions have put together a fusion of some of the best music tunes in Gaza! Our man Vybez kartel totally killed this riddim with his hit song Come Ya Nuh Mi Gal for both raw and edit. Popcaan and Tommy Lee make it a plus with their songs in making this riddim a success.
LOVERS ROCK RIDDIM
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2011
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HECKLER
I
! tight was st. tito
ere, that roll into this skool that’s set so far in to nowh facing of risk the of cause me land my chopper can’t into this technical failures. So I’m forced to hire a cab I got thea… desolate wasteland and well what can I say, I chose to eventually…In order to get the juiciest deals, …now, St. crowd the with in mellow and low down a keep z that honey st hotte the of some Titto is known to have snatched up side of Karura. (Just ask Mary Leaky Gee. Titto but I won’t all their brothaz!) Well that’s as far as it goes… busy dancing get into that…as the rest of the peeps were ing around, to the DJ beats in their DHall, I was busy snoop LV high my keep on menti to not t trying not to get caugh uddddtops from getting damaged! That place is muuu
dyyyy! too…they In a nutshell, the girls are pretty cool. Well fed do their also they where h shake huge a and cows have the cycle and up it plants skool the panos. They dig it up, its own vamcontinues. Then I find out that the skool has skool man, you pire….4 real no joke…there’s a honey in that all your blood Suck up! you joke around and she will mess l who you carefu very be So dead! for you leave and too set this gonna they Titto, off piss mess with, coz if you blood sucker on you!
They were FBI came thro’ and things got crazy from there. mance spinning and knocking up thea heads. Their perfor came the Then me) aweso say body (Some was simply sick! ’t help beauty pageant and boys from Kikuyu day couldn ng) Things but ogle…(close your mouths boys you are drooli and the close a to came event took a nose dive when the get them girls were being chased around with sticks to back to class. .Yeah Hospital With that done, I cruised on down to HHH… t to mean was What crazy. just was this hill…now t’s be a prayer day, ended up as a kick out the paren in day. Like really man? The principal was all up ts, he everyone’s hair, throwing out the late paren yeah… even threw out the guest of honor. (Eye roll they think I time, Next .) bright really that was should hold prayers for their princi... Better yet a fourty day fast….just to ensure that he daen’t r go loco on any more people. When the heckle , couldn’t take any more of the rather dull drama slid bag, clutch n Madde Steve my of I got hold my into the back left seat of my BMW, rolled up window and called it quits.
Who is the lucky suitor?
Wanja put swag to the word leaves
FBI’s MJ
St. Tito Beauties
St. Tito’s Swag
kikuyu Day chilling with FBI
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h t o o m S t a Wh t u o b A l l A s I g n i t i r W
l l A o T hes s i W t s Bes t n e d u 404 St xams r E i e h T n I 48
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