Aiming For Success? Aim Ball Point Pens. Volume 11
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No.10-oct 2011
THE H I
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THE HOTTEST POSTERs EVER! NICK MUNENE - IN THE EYES OF A STALKER
ERIC NJOKA - WHY WE WATCH NEWS
CHANTELLE - AMETOKELEZEA
shareefa
re vealed
plus
martha karua meets the teeniez!
easich vs JAHMU? TRIPLE S PIMPIN! PUMU HAS GHOSTS! A VISIT TO VEGAS!
HANDS DOWN
win a basketball autographed by gary payton
THE HOTTEST TEENS IN high SKOOL
150 baab
making
the cover
Tha Teeniez Voice!
www.theinsyder.com publisher Teenwise Media Limited
Editorial Kru Moses Mwangi, Annie Wambita, Jamal Ifrah, Dismas Adega, Judy Wanja, Josephine Mosongo, Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive
Design & Layout Elias Mwangi
Marketing Team Irene Njoroge
Departments Corporate Affairs: Ann Ngigi Distribution Manager: Nicholas Mutie Distribution: Nation Courier Printer: Emirates Printing Press LLC, Dubai
Directors Ann Ngigi • Adam Nyakundi Funkie-licious TV • Ngaruiya Githegi
Brotha TheUndercova Insyder Offices pg 26
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
Make-up Vera Beauty College Fredric Mwaniki Assisted by Betty Mugo
Cover PHOTOGRAPHY George Simon- Pisces Studio
PHOTOGRAPHY Moses Mwangi
COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Ltd. All rights reserved. The Insyder is published once a month. Contributions are most welcome and must be accompanied by stamped self-addressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The Editor reserves the right to edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the editors and publishers of The Insyder. 2
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COVER MODELS DRESSED BY:
AGAINST ALL ODDS
1ST FLOOR, PRESTIGE PLAZA NGONG ROAD
www.theinsyder.com www.theinsyder.com October October2 20 01 1 1
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Insyde The iQru’s Take
Judy
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cover story
So joint albums have been a hot do for most of the international artists. Which joint album do yall feel you can listen to over n over and why?
Annie
What’s Sizzling This Month
Jigga Man and Kanye West ‘The Throne’ is a must have like yesterday. They share the throne from first track to last and true to rumors they could actually be members of a cult! A hot cult! “Overdose” by Lecrae featuring Thi’sl, Canon, J. Paul and Suzy Rock is definitely off the hinges. It has hot lyrics and a cool vybe to all their tracks that just keeps me replayin’ it over and over again.
Jamal
‘‘got to love you’ by sean paul and alexis jordan is the one joint making me abuse the replay button! just cant get enuf
sniper
feature
Difna
Chris Brown’s FAME any day, with Tyga, Lil Wayne, Whiz Khalifa, and Busta in the album, he killed it. Dude can do it all, dance, sing and rap. Great artist.
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Hanging Out With Martha Karua
Dis y o e new B has all th
,” it ll up “Carter iv ying it a weezy sa this is a ut lyrics of o l il to ch to haters to album. en must list
The iMC’s Coolest October Moments
Mombasa is too hot!
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BONUS: chantelle & 9con posters A
RTH MA G N UA ETI AR ME K
SPRITE BALL
ONE MONTH TO CLEAR
THE 4
October 2011
PITIFUL!!!
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SU
Arsenal state www.theinsyder.com
T IS HO
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tee
l
i
Sup gyal,
Npc buru
Thanks Yvonne iMC
Mmetokelezea
nie : We fancy u Dedicated to An o yenu iko upset guys vibadly, sting r man sawa hope but Ma-dvd is ou luuuuuuv and hauja fume lotsa waest xoxoxoxoxoxo m a Uhuru faith-ngiy
z ma
Yvonne adeze-ngiya
ie
Sebaha scatter
n
We jus luv u guz and ur kuwl monthly issue, they just fantastic....n quite inspiring wire dem
tee
Wadup iQru,
t r A i r a t s i presents M
Competition
s r e n n W Gallery
connect
T’sup iQru flowers Bana u guzy got swag. They say come pals go, n es com wither , winter is and go but ur effort @the insyder e in shin iz alwa will u ng lasti indeed ever our h@s
z ma
the z teenie voice
Swaggarific
Loving the re-up mag
ie
il
Yua Holla
n
biker gal by junior orinah
art by steve kimani loreto nakuru
Freddy Mwas Looking forwad to next month’s copy coz it’s gonna be the hottest. Samuel Jabu Xup gaiz big thanx u alwaiz rock ma day. Cheers. East Landoz Ujinga ni kupost link kwa wall ya insyder na hauget lyk ama commnt...!! *tongue out* Julius Wambua Duzz Answer Bitch have a boyfriend? Jahk Teacha Addih-sultan You guiys are really helping teeniez to shape their lives. Power, sex and money was a hot cover story. Jojo Wawa Wawa Thanks guys. I was featured on blue corner. XoXo Rayz Cashmel Nevils XTR was off the hinges Youngeugene Bervin I am Eugene Bervin. Plz include me in da hot issue Peter Kephas Muriuki Hey yuh all,real men don’t laugh at nothing they laugh @ Insyder jokes....hahahahaha!!!!!!!! Jay-k Alemba Wassup de no.1 mag on de planet. Denique Marsha Awouh u guyz r off da huk kp t up mko yuuwest l luv da street style column
by denzel kisilu
keith otinya (maxor) 304 uba
lambo gallardo by edu muriithi loreto nakuru
gossip girl by victor mohriz (404) kanjuri high
mathree by charles mwangi a.k.a onchuru uba
pink by nick mboya (204) parklands bee
Search: The Insyder Magazine on Facebook to connect with The Insyder Magazine and holla at us all your comments.
Slang’ Corner Word:Dimbuwa Origin: Chano Meaning: Eating As used in a sentence
1 Walahi si ule dame anadimbuwa 2 Event ya xtr tulidimbwa ma kuku
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October 2011
Word: Dwanzi Meaning: Fool Origin: Eastlando Past tense: Kuflanked As used in a sentence
1.. Huyu msee ni dwanzi ame pata mao 2% 2. Yule mwizi ni dwanzi anakimbia syd ya makarao
your school: the scoop on us ve gi e, in down. e magaz d all the low feature in th est peeps an ol If you want to co , : ie on nk fu up ! Hit us The hottest k get set spill On your mar er.com yd ns ei yuaholla@th 002, 0 0 0 8 71 SMS: 0 om sy .thein der.c Online: www
www.theinsyder.com
Qty art bymanasses miano chania bee
lady B BY SEMAJ JONUD EASICH
Reckon you have the talent to feature in this column? Send us your artwork to win great prizes. Each month we will feature entries and pick the top 3 for the winners gallery. The winners will receive fantastic prizes No 1: Shopping Voucher, Funkie Tee & a Bic Sationery pack No. 2: Lunch Voucher , Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack No.3: Travel Bag, Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack For your entry to be selected as a winning entry the mistari must be via a BIC biro and MUST have the Bic Logo. All winning monthly entries will be entered into a draw to win a cool mountain bike or a term’s school fees. Please ensure you include a telephone number in your artwork. Send your entries to P.O Box 51634-00200 Nairobi
vybz kartel by amatu brian sipala hae
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l o o k s h g i h n i s p e e p t s e l Coo ts
Faesal - Sain
er
.Christoph u Angela - St
Lul
- NIS Camp Mulla
l. da Skoo n a i K Joanne us Hae
ema Victorio
P Shreekezy -
e - Msoh
Tracey Savag
ee Kabarak
- Moi G Daisy Rioba
z Jahmu
Black Blinger
3D - Saints
Yala
iquittaz
i Ch All S.A Kinyu
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Do you think you or your krew is hotter? send us your pics to yuaholla@theinsyder.com
Mkalla
- Highie
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EVER
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WONDER? 20.
How would Nonini look like with dreads? If one member of Tatuu chucked out will they be called mbilii? Who invented discs in school? Why is the rugby ball called a ball when it’s oval? Katy Perry-blue hair, nicki Minaj-pink hair, rihanna-red hair, lady gaga-green hair, are the power rangers back? What passes for normal to Lady gaga? Since the vultures don’t need a visa, shouldn’t they just give jaguar a lift avuke border? Like a boy-Ciara, if I was a boy-Beyonce, rude boy-Rihhana now what’s the point with being a boy? Tyra is now the big queen of talk show who is the king? Is craze work show (etv) the next sakata version? Still on Bruno, will he be a billionaire at this rate with his lazy song? After clearing tahidi high are the studez goin to join Shelton uni(changing times)?
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In total truth and honesty how many storos does Swaleh Mdoe have in store? Will Beyonce finally pop out Jayonce for ol’ jay this year? Is it true that daggering has been band coz of sending dudes to hosi? If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity? If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress? If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
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cover story
I
a d n e r B u m i r i a W AM
! ! ! ! H C T A I B , D E S S FOCU
An Ex-can from Mama Ngina Gee and four years later she is the hottest mtoto on the entertainment secene. Brenda Wairimu, known to many as Shereefa has no time to waste and call it what whatever you want, she is focused! 12
October 2011
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n less than a year I featured in Changing Times, which has won several awards, featured in Shugah 2 and a new series coming soonband yet I bag all this with skool. I call it wanting success in life. When some of the peeps my age are kulaing gomba in the hood, I am busy shooting for Changing Time or hustling to be cast for another film. I’m a third year student at USIU studying International Business Admin, and a minor in Broadcast Media.I won't lie, its not easy, but its very doable. My social life is almost completely dead but it really doesn't matter to me, or to anyone else who is doing what they love. You learn to sacrifice to achieve as much as you can. So you ask Pretty face? Check! Brains? Check! Talented? Check! But now they call me a bitch? Lol!Not Check! It’s just a perception people have, especially of light skinned girls, but you really cannot judge someone based on their appearance. I love to laugh and just hang out and have a good simple time. Being bitchy is just too much work. I said call
me focused! There is the notion that you have to be ‘fly’ (whatever that means) to be on the screen. What of that teenie who is so talented in drama yet they lack esteem coz everyone has to be ‘fly’ to make it. I think such people who kill growing talent need to go jump in a pond. If anything, I wasn’t exactly Beyonce looking when I was growing up. If you have been put down before, remember showbiz is all about makeup so try and see these people without make up. Secondly, you go for your dreams coz people will still talk anyway. There is always someone who will try making u feel like u are not good enough, for one reason or another. There us really no formula around it, just know your worth, and work to be the best 'you' u can. So if you have been thinking I don’t earn my act pole. However, we are human and feeling low about ourselves once in a while ‘is all good in the hood’. I mean, if I was to change anything about me, it would be my height but I do not let it get me down coz I’m focused!
ld fliest 22 year o e th ly ab gu ar She is ry ainment indust rt te en e th in chic it on by dudes and definitely h ta She says it’s no now and then. rmula to win her mathematical fo heart but:
- Someone who makes me laugh, - someone to hold a decent intelligent conversation with. - A loyal person who helps me grow to greater things.
White Tee 2,000 Blings Blue Denims 2,500 Blings Green Doll Shoes 3,000 Blings White Dress 3,000 Blings Against All Odds
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cover story
; HOPE , AITH F , E V LO UNDERSTANDING 9CONESE! ce farted ” because he on es m is um “p as ng ‘to own the name meani In Niger he’s kn m hi g in rn ea st date during a hot fir fart’
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
logne is His favorite co es Terre D’ Herm
His favorite designer is Paul Smith.
Started his career as a model but made his first debut into music ft Wyre in the hit single called ‘Collo’. He has been nominated for a Kisima award for best local video.
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He’s hot coz he’s confident and he’s got mad swag.
October 2011
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Black Fitting Tee 2,000 Blings Black Corduroy Pants 3,500 Blings Against All Odds
His ideal woman has to be classy, sassy, stylish but above all smoking hot !
He’s currently studying International Relations at USIU. Advice to the young at heart, “School sucks but you’ve got to do it to make it anywhere in the world.” www.theinsyder.com
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action reaction
V
TRAIL BLAZER
ictor ‘Mugabe’ Wanyama comes from a very sporting family. His brother is Real Sociedad and Inter Millan midfielder McDonald Mariga, his father Noah Wanyama was a former footballer for AFC Leopards in the 1980s and his sister is a professional Basketball player in Kenya. He is managed by ExtraTime S.L. and has a boot sponsorship deal with Nike. His recent move to Celtic makes this hot young player a force to reckon with. This
20 year old made his first debut in soccer at 15 and has since grown to be labeled one of the most promising youngsters in the game internationally. Mugabe is currently worth £1, ooo, ooo. The grapevine has it that English Premier League’s Aston Villa has also launched a bid for Mugabe and who knows, he might just be the first Kenyan to ever grace the English premier league. Let’s wait and see.
-pl y &
A FREE MEJOJIN JUACALI J T To download this FREE song go to: www.califmobile.com/theinsyder
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Throw Your Hands Up For These Rockin' Rexona Teeniez
For More Information Contact Us On: Vera Beauty College Nairobi, Emperor Plaza, 2nd Flr, Kenyatta Ave, Opp GPO P.O. Box 12416 00100 Nrb Tel: {254-20} 2216520/2216296 Cell: 0725 923550, 0738 639784
Want to be featured as a Rockin’ Rexona Teenie? send us a pic of you and your BFF’s chillin’ out & having loads of fun. Remember to strike a pose showing off your mad confidence. In fact, we wouldn’t mind if you threw your hands up in di air just to let us know how high your confidence levels are. send your pic to: Yuaholla ATT Rockin’ Rexona Teeniez P.O. Box 51634-00200 Nairobi Or email them to: yuaholla@ theinsyder.com www.theinsyder.com
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cover story tion. I avoid all temptations that might want to destroy my career, so when it’s work time, that just it, full stop. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy female company, halla! Shoes, he says should not wear you. Your shoes tell a lot about you. High heeled shoes of course are sexy just as long as you are comfortable in them. You don’t need to be walking around town as though you are gully creeping. So would he date a big bodied girl? Honestly, he “prefers someone close to his height and weight so they can
be compatible.”But he wouldn’t mind dating one if she is comfortable in her own skin. But sorry ladies, that ship already sailed. He is dating his girlfriend of one year, though on and off. Call it a boomerang relationship if you will, but they always end up together. But, a welcoming personality is a definite turn on for him while pretentious people just turn him off. Eric doesn’t think of himself as a celeb, neither does he think he’s hot, he says he’s just a guy reading the news, mmhh. He will let his audience
be the judge of that. “My work is my passion; if I do it beautifully and people like it then I think that makes me a beautiful person.” Something most people don’t know about him? He used to be a farmer picking tea and he managed a mortuary! But Eric isn’t just work and no play, one time he went to a party and had one too many. The following day he found his photos splattered on facebook. He has learnt to keep his business to himself!
You dont need to walk like you’re gully creeping
E
ric Njoka is one of the hottest news anchors in town. Is it a case of what you see is what you get or is there more than meets the eye to the man who braces out television screens every evening on KTN? We had the pleasure of finding out. Confident and humble are just some of the qualities Njoka possesses that describe who he is. Plus his deep sexy authoritative voice doesn’t hurt either. Eric started off as an intern at K24 where Bert Medley, the head of news gave him his first shot at anchoring. So, how was his first time as an anchor? To say the least it was nerve 18
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wrecking. However his big break was at KTN where he got to meet his role model and mentor Njoroge Mwaura whom he refers to as his teacher and guide. “Mwaura is very British; he pays attention to each and every detail. But above all he is a very down to earth person. He will come down to your level and talk to you, not at you; he does not look down on his juniors.” His biggest role model though is his mum who keeps him in check all the time, even when he gets a “big head”. He wanted to become a chef but his mum motivated him to become a journalist. Guess it paid off, didn’t it?
He still reveals that every time he reads the news he is always nervous but then gradually eases into it. “It’s all about impressing the viewers; to me everyone watching is like an interviewer, so I try to give it my best.” But what about what impresses him in a lady?*wink wink*Not to be vain but she has to have nice kempt hair coz what you see on the outside describes the inner you. The clothes she wears must also fit her properly. You don’t need to try too hard. A girl can still look sexy in a long skirt or dress, short is good but it has to be decent, leave something to the imagina-
Pink Tee 2,000 blings Black vans 5,000 blings Against All Odds
ERIC NJOKA: ! e m g n i o d t jus uy g a t s u news j Am ing d a e r www.theinsyder.com
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Purple Leather Hoodie 5,000 Blings Black D&G shoes 5,000 Blings Quicksilver Tee 2,000 Blings Against All Odds
cover story
STALKING NENE! Dear Munene, It’s been 15 seconds since I thought of you. I’m getting the feeling like you are avoiding me. I thought that we had some chemistry going on after you caught a glimpse of my car at the parking lot. I know you must be very busy with shooting the movie Shuga 2 right now and your soon to be appearance on Changes MNet series, but that does not mean you go all silent on your #1 secret admirer. You made me travel all the way from Dar Es Salaam when your folks decided to move to Kenya. September 22, 1992. You were only 3 years old but even then I knew we were meant to be.I used to follow you when you were in Braeside Hae up until USIU. I remember enrolling for Business Admin just to be in the same class with you, but I do not regret coz we graduated on the same day, a day I will hold so close and dear. I remember the first time I saw you on TV, on Tabasamu. You were a young naive boy who because of hardship begun a love affair with a sugar mummy. You do not know how many times I wanted to save you so that you could stop seeing her. Then you go ahead for the role Leo in Shuga. I admit the girlfriend they gave you was hot but she can never be as loving as I love you. She is not real, just some movie director’s creation. By the way, I think you are the best thing that happened to One FM. I have attended some of the hot events you throw. Whenever you are worked up, I see you twisting your
baby locks. How I wish to stroke your face like that one day. I would have approached you by now, but my friends tell me you hang out with only ‘hot’ people; but I know you hang out with like minded individuals, you are ambitious, focused and know what to you want from life...how I wish I was one of those. I know you grew up in a family of beautiful women; how I wish to make your sister and mum my in-laws. My fairy wedding to Munene Mutuma. When will you see my beauty, hold a meaningful conversation with you and learn knew things from each other. How I wish my prince. You remind me of a young Chris Kirubi. You always find a way to make money from you passions; fashion, music and film. Last weekend I got to listen to your first single featuring all the hot local female artists. I would love to be in the video, if you don’t mind, but either way I will still be there. Well, all I see is bigger things coming from you. Do not be scared, I just love you so much that is why I know everything about you. Thank you again for mentoring teeniez on abstinence and following their passions. Dance4Life has helped so many people make the right choices. I wait for the day you will look into my eyes and call me your favorite fan, better yet friend and soon lover. How I wish my prince. Yours always, XoXo
I & k Nicrever Fo 20
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New skool
g n o l A tS ring
T
Stats Name: Mwagali Shedivah a.k.a Kiko Skool: St Elizabeth Karen (204)
alent can be anything. Be it the fact that you sing or can run faster than David Rudisha. That is the skill you are destined to explore He is probably one of the shyest dudes you will meet at St. Elizabeth Karen but he is not shy to pluck the strings of his guitar. For Kiko, playing the guitar is what makes his heart leap. Whether he is playing tunes of other artists or his own compositions it’s true to say that the brother is a string machine. Born in Tanzania fifteen years ago, Kiko made his way to Nairobi to attend secondary skool. iQru first came to meet this brother while he was chilling with his peeps at a popular shopping mall and heard him play a tune for his pal’s girlfriend as a birthday gift from her boyfriend. Sleek brother right there! However this is not where he started. He began playing the guitar back in fifth
grade primo and he never looked back. Together with palz and his uncle who is part of KGB in Kenya they write music for the sole. You might wonder how he knows which keys to play for which song, but he prefers to create a tune before he can come up with the words. He does not restrict his fingers from taking any path. He adds that sometimes it’s like some force in the air just blocks his mind and whatever he plays is from the heart. Having not gone to guitar skool, he says his greatest inspiration comes from his mother who supported him and gives him time out from his daily chores and skool work to tune his favorite love; the guitar. He hopes to join a big band before starting his own and his sole target for the next few years is to play on the same stage with big names like Sauti Sol, Chris Adwar and Harry Kimani.Big things await this brother!
Some of Parky Gee honiez that came for training
Chilling with Gary Payton
STAR STATS
Just chillin
Jacob Latimore
Team Spirit
S
tars are born not made. Jacob O'Neal Latimore, Jr. currently 15 years old is a Jive Records and Crown World Entertainment R&B recording artist. The young singer’s father and uncles make up the quartet performers dubbed “ the Latimore brothers”. He started his Singing, Dancing and acting career at the tender age of 5 inspired by father’s then thriving career in music. Latimore developed his dancing skills and perfected his moves by watching his favorite boy band B2K. He became more serious with music when he was 9 years and produced his first single “best friend” which made his name in the industry.
He had to get himself a copy too
Teairra Marí
Born in December of ’87 Teairra Marie Thomas aka Teairra Marí began what has now become a very promising music career at the tender age of 15. The singer-songwriter, actress, model, and dancer recorded her first musical solo at the age of 16 after catching the attention of Big Mike, Ed K and Helluvah of Detroit's K.I.S.S. Productions. Mari has since moved on to sharing a mic with big leagues such as Jay Z, Diddy, Gucci Mane, Soulja boy, I mean the list is endless. she released her first album in 2005 dubbed Roc-A-Fella Presents: Teairra Marí, and was produced by Brian Michael Cox, Darkchild, Cool And Dre, Blackout Movement, The Trackboyz, Kwame and was co executive produced by Sean Garrett. The 23 Year old is currently working on a new album with Rico Love which she plans to release in the coming year. 22
October 2011
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Gary signs iQru’s Payton Nike’s
Its deuces baiby
Cher LIoyd
Cher can be said to be a good singer despite all her controversial escapades. She began singing at a very young age, entering local talent shows. This 18 year old Briton came to the limelight through her dazzling performance in the British reality TV show, The X-factor. Cher was originally known for pigeoning off other artists’ creativity but has recently been making waves in the music industry since she started singing to her own tunes. Cher Lloyd was performing at London's G-A-Y night club shortly before she scored her first number one for her debut single, Swagger Jagger.
iQru Annie tries to dribble past The Glove
win an iQru Bball Do you want to legendary NBA aughtographed by ve”? on a.k.a “The Glo Player Gary Payt ail on yuaholla@ Then send us em o naming at least tw theinsyder.com e th on played on in teams Gary Payt NBA.
Chilling with Gary Payton
Can you do this?
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xtr nairobi & mombasa
Registering talent!
Weeeeewe!
We hott!
Watu wa Mombasa walitokelezea!
Drizzy chilling at XTR Nairobi Chantelle chilling with Tasha
MaDVD was in the building! Alexandria
Cump luzLow’s Diva Shazzam
Rap Diva Miss S White n Black Crew Krurespondent Matesh Can’t feel tha heat.Not even with all tha black!
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MC Wal chilling with Ronnie
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B GUPS TIGS
HAE
Alex Kamauh (304) to Kellen Njeri (304). Baibe treasure what we share ocz its rare. Feel treasure by many but loved by 1. Ken Brown Mbae (304) to Alice gachaia (404) T.T Galz. I treasure you bila measure coz lyf without u ni pressure bila pleasure. Dara hizo books vismata. Mob luv Ben Wyre (304) to Sheena Wangeshi (304) Naru gee. I will always be there when oyu need me gal. Friends & Sweetness 4 lyf Brayo (304) to Lydian Njokie (204) Kiambu Gee. Missing you big Samir (304) to Peninah Wangarie (104) Dr. Kamundia Gee. Luv u 4eava
Mugumo gee
Kate Kadoz (304) to Jaymo (404) Ramzille Hae. Sema cuzo, wishing u a happy bash Grace Alina (30) to Vivian Njeri(304) Kagwe galz. Chop hard cuzo Gladys Muthoni (304) to Lydiah Wambui (104) Muruguru galz. Siz chop hard. Wish u all the best. Luv u big Estar (304) to Willy (204) Kiambu Hae. Friends 4eva. I lyk ua swag. Jane Jackie (304) to Julius Maina (404) Keru Bee. Chop hard. Mob luv Esther Karimi (304) to Bonnie (404) Embu Hae. Nuxx…..no!Mob luv. Allah bless ya. Always treasured Cate (304) to Dennis Kinywa (404) Kangaru bee. Nimekuhata sana. Kuna venye……………miss ya Fortunate (304) to Kelvin Ndwigah (404) Kagz hae. Mob luv. Wish u all dah bst n Jah bless yah. E-star Celeb (304) to Kevo Wairuri (304) Keru b. You are one in a million. Elsie (304) to Kevo Njagi (404) Black spoxx. Wassup with de silence. Chop vigwanmentation.
NYAGS SCHOOL
Sam (304) to Vicky (404) Mac Gee. A gud friend is hard to find, hard to focus and impossible to forget. Thanx for being my friend Kelvin Maundu (304) to Alice Kamanthe (304) Makueni gee. Break the silence gal Eric Pius to Winnie Auma (204) St.Augustine- Nyamonye Gee. True luv can’t be measured but can be treasured baibe!! Antony Makau (304) to Cynthia Reuben (304) Ikutha Gee. Gal, ur presence never lasts in ma heart. Do something to break the silence between us. Kelvin Kilonzo to Stacy Ngala (204) Saggs. Mob silence or are u in jail. Luv u mwahh! Bryan Musyimi (304) to Magdalene Ndunge (304) Muttex Gee. Break the silence gal mob luv. John Muembu to Lavender Agnes (204) Good Shepherd Gee. Did you know dat ur not beautiful u r beyond it. Steven Kelly (304) to Mercy Nzule (304) TNT galz. Ur ma entire eunie meanie mob luv Nelly Tush (304) to Jacky (304) Murray hae. Lots of luv men Alex Kyalo to Beatrice (404) Mulango Gee. Hold mah hands, I hold ur waiste. Luv! Agaster Muticiah (304) TO Judy (304) Chux Gee. Ma lurv 2 u can’t be measured but treasured Abedi Mchunits (404) to Emma (404) St. Annes. The world will never come to an end without u accepting ma aplogy fully. Luv u gal
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October 2011
QUITCHEZ
Dan Brinks to Millicent Muriuki (Chogoria Girls). Manze stop dem silence. I love u Paminars Nyamwoya to Annaatacia Moraa (St. Georges) Uko sweet hadi na dream abt u Brian Opanga to Philitricia Were (Moi gee Eld). Miss u big George Sagini (304) to Shirleen Estabia (304) Huruma gee. Silence is too loud Gilbert Ongeri (304) to Nelly Kipchirchir (204) Starch gee. Hope u r fine waitin 4 ua col chop hard Dan Bosire (304) to Cecil Mtindi (304) Nyabu Gee. Gosh! U mek me fantasize a lot Maxwel Atuto (304) to Verah Otieno (404) Nyabu gee. I think am fallin in luv with u.
MUX GEE
Noella (404) to Collo (204) Mbale Hae. Chop smart. Noreen Khatambi (404) to Michael (304) SSS. Miss u Janice Kemunto (404) to Ibzan (204) Musingu SKI. Work Good Lizzien Kor (204) to Buccah Dennis St Josephs KTL. Miss u
ANESTAR BEE
Gabu (304) to Ann Kariuki (404) Njoro gee. Mbona hivyo msupa? Nwei swag with buks vinard Zack (404) to Bito Njeri (404) Precious blood. Even on ma other syd of the galaxy, u still rock. Am still waiting Frank (304) to Lilian Mwongeli (304) Njoro gee. Kwani, wats happening btwn us? The truth is that I luv u mad John Muturi (304) to Cynthia Wanjiku (304) Buru gee. U r a perfect match. Kelvin Kamau (404) to Sarah Wanjiku (404) Kenyatta sec. Hae, wish u success in ua examz swirry Peter Njuguna (304) to Joyce Nyambura (304) Arutani Gee. Miss u very much, hop 2 c u soon
Kabare gee a.k.a marshes
Hailey(404)to dennizz(304)pioneer U the bestest cuzo ever luv u muxxest Maryann(404)to paul (404)nyags In the silence ov the night your heart always speaks to mine …..unakumbuka Gabriel njoki(404)to marvin(404) maseno Miles away but I stil treasure &keep u close to my heart.luvya Edith njooki9404)to mose maina (4040uba Fwends r like stars,u don’t always see em but you knw like me the wil always be there 4 u whenever.mob lovee Betty nee-mo(404)felix kimathi(4040nguria Fwendship is like wine ,it neva goes bad bt keeps on becoming better Velma betty(404) to yuvensiah nyambura9404)naivasha gee Xaxa b.f,f mis s u big,rem 2 tirn on da greater of awa fwendship 4 da haters
Baricho bee
kevoh githai (204)to lilian mwendwa(2040st monika gee I feel gwet luving u.you vowe me mux luv baibee!!! Naftali mari (404)to ann mwhikaki(404)gategi gee Chop to the max 4 what is ahead. Missing
N.P.C BURU(BURU KAJINGA*)
Winston brian(404) to judy(204) buru gee I miss u! cnt wait! t-paul(404) to zuena(404)huruma ulihepa na munju zangu! mdero(404) to Lillian(404) huruma
GOD said let there be love & there was love btwn me n u. Ray(404) to grace(304)quabbz I’l always treasure you till the end. Eddie(404) to doro(304)sengani gee I was born to love you!xoxo. Anto(404) to tina(204)statoe Mad love swits! Erico(404) to mbondi(204)quabbz Niko idhaa yako mbayar. Ken(404) to Emily(404)jogoo road Hugs n kisses*wink* Elly(204) to mercy(204)quabbz Hop to hook up holz..iza juu ya masa yako. Manucho(404) to Sheila(304)shiner’s gee Sheila, what happened to us? K2(304) to caro(204)quabbz Y da silence? Brayo(404) to shiku(404)boma Don’t b dat silent Pioneer Gee Betty Julians (404) to Glen (404) Always at me heart Fiona (404) to Wycliff (Kanga) What’s wid da silence? Beryl (404) to Sheika (404) Augustine (Kandege) As long as we are pals life sucks B Ballers to B Ballers (Kisumu Boyz) We are waitin for the tournas Celestine (404) to C. Odero (404) Pango Best pals live long Liz Ouma (404) to Ali (404) Vihiga You still rock ma world .Luv you
AQ Gottaz
Doughy Na Kevo (404) to Ngara Rather get hurt than a have a heart without you AQ to Compuera Karibia ma karibia (Usiogope) Edu ( 404) to Linda (304) Pangoe Why you wanna go n’ do that Evans (404) to Sylu (304) Ngara Hope to see you soon Myke (404) to Betty (404) Boma Nakumiss tu sana… Stevo Njehia (404) to Mary (Huruma) Cheza game yako Robbie (404) to Cynthia (404) Nguviu Have I chosen the “lead” casket? Georgy (404) to Diana (304) Chox Would you wyne for me? V-key (404) to June (204) St Gee What happened? Umenyamaza sana Tedi (404) to Anne (404) L.K. Bluez How do I tell you dat I’ve fallen in luv. Doughy (404) to Mercy Koki (304) Matt Gee Aki I miss you lovely Michael (404) to Lynette (404) Pangoe Should I still give it a trial? Jeymoh (404) to Michelle (304) Quabbz Alwayz chillin to see you again Sir-Mu (404) to Frances (404) Statoe Am doubtful or shouldn’t I be? Gigz (404) to Tracy (404) Kagwe I feel secured when I’m with you (Luv you) Sammy (404) to Carol (404) Gatanga Pamoja! Kevoh (404) to Njambi (404) St. Annes Lioki Baibe where you at? I wanna make it rain Sakare (404) to Wakati Winnie (404) Statoe I have a long way to go! Ha!
OLOOLAISER (OLSKUL) BIGUPS
Frank (404) to Lorna (304) Mac bee Cant get you outer ma system Kevo (404) to Sharon (404) barakaBee Av got news for you. Sly omondi (404) to Faith Mwende (404) Mecca babes As countless as stars so are ma wishes to meet yu Lee Mungai (404) to Liz (304) Moi gee Isinya Unlimited love and flying Kisses…. keep the fire burning. Andrew (404) to Luce (404) Mary Leakey What we share is real 4 life baibe. Anthony Salau (404) to Miriam Muiru (404) Ruchu. It kills me to remember you, love you BIG
Ty4 (404) to Sharon Y (404) Baraka gee Kitendawili?…. nimehata gazeti za huko, headlines zinasema? Georgy Muniu (404) to Cynthia Mbovi (304) Kaanga gee Chop Hard and remember you are more than a friend. Jimmy Billy (404) to Grace Muthethini gee How am I to breath without you? Love you. Juma Hassan (404) to Lenah (304) Baraka gee Still waiting babe,miss you big. Carlos(404)to Nancy(404) Dudi gee Lets take one step at a time coz love is hia to stay.
Nagee(Naivasha gals)
304s to iQru U guys rilly rockd our skul world xo kip on kipin on ua toppest swag!!!!!!! Faith akinyi (304)to Stanley njera (404)kabarak hig xul Luv u big bro n kip dopest swag up!!! Angela emma(304)to brian okira (304)maseno bee Kip ua kewl swag up n kip in touch Paulettte tunu (304)to rajab abbubakar9404)muslim academy U r ma world n I still v u June waweru 9304)to jonstone muruli(304)bush bee Kip lukin gud n misssin u big time 304s to Elizabeth nyambura (304) maasai gee We stiil luv u n misssin u xo much kipb the mjei hype up!!!! Rachel oruta 9304)to lucy ooruta (10)kieni gaqls Luv u big mwaaaah!!!!! Naseriani tikaini (3040to joseph ngare (3040rongai bee Break d SILENCE !!!ITS BIN LONG N MISSSIN U Whitney 9304)to Cynthia wangari (304)choxx hey wts up gyal wots wit da silence…….break da ice n holla Mwanidi rama (304)to cyrus ndungu (404)ditches miss u much n wishing u were hea wit me lavyne rly to andre andrea Robert (304)starch bee deuces is all I can asaymiss u is much I can say,luv u is much I can say chopn hard best friend !!! twetwe(304)to alpha momanyi(404) uba kipn da jerkin swagin up!!! Qrwisnett ceee-ellah(304)to oliver wachira(204)nyeri high Hpp u deoin aiigh n fyn chop hardest l8ersz Betty kimani (304)to kevin mbugua(404)ditches Miss yah big we stil hav soe unfinished bniz rem ???? Lilian marennah(304)to allabn sisqo(304)patch Thanmk s 4 being the best ,nakupendar sana!!!! Maureen nyawera (304)to manuel troy(404)ditches Misssin u big n the silence is too lioud n kiut!!! Neeemo kamatu (304)to juli njoki Despite the distance u r the best!!i neva knew I needed Rama mwanadi (304)to khalfan rama (404)highie Luv you bro n miss yah big!!! Faith chyolloh 9304)to faith achieng (304)mary moun t Mob wruuv!!miss yah Naserian tikani (304)to linda midigostach gee Bff brk da gr8 silence!!!miss u Joanne gundaru(304)to marqu thamz(304)pioneer U tottaly rockd my world,summer luv.... Wendy getugi (304)to Nicole wangari(204)choxx Bff lytd!!!u rock. Betty kimani (3040mato nn ndekerere(404)changes Nimewahata videdly.pliz brk da silence
QUABBZ
Zena (304)to zak 9304)uppah Dunno wat od da wid out yew B.F.F.S fi lyf June (304)to ida njeri9304)ouabbz deski luv u..... Sarah(304)Hillary (404)st joseph’s
SUCCESS!!!!! Monique (3040to viss(3040uppaha Oficiall friends ryt????lol!!! Merene(304)to edwin lawless(304) uppah Lyf is short lazima tujibambe especially me n u..... June(304)to elaine93040luv yah cuzo.... Zena(3040to judy(30490st.gee Baby gyal wats ua name , lemme buy u a dink .....xoxox Delarhea(3040to brags(304)changes Niaje ?salamu 2 mob luv.... June (3040to Nolan mike(404) st.peter mumias Tokelezea Delarhea(304)to jared(304)ditches Truth or dare .... hehe sup !!! Sach(304)to sarah (304)bush gee Trust me wen I say ua the best cuzo in yhe world Elaine (304)to kiletyy (104)chamelil Missin yew big.love yew lots!!!!! Marline (304)to ester alusa(304) huruma Its bin long bana nimekimiss.hpe this holz ulijibamba vigwanest
TERESA D’LIMA(T.D.L
Rufence(304)to all masili bees Wathi mna shw-a-gger upet WIRE DEM!!! KIP IT BLAZING REP THE RIDDIOM WALD! Mwende (304) to kelvin kyalo (304) katoleni sec Nimekuhata sana cuzo.chop smaert .lol Carol(304)to hellen (204)Kenyatta gee Fwends 4reva chop hard dia Carol (304)to Eunice (404)mac bee Umenyamaza to sana..... Evelyn (304)to Robert (404)mukaa bee Tazama buks tazama chapa !!!tk care f urself n uhypotonize izo ma buks vi smarta Dianaa wamaitha (304)to Justine matu(304)kagumob hae I knw dip dwn ma hrt dat u r mad @ me bt I jst hop ur nt coz am writin jst to mk it up 2 u mmissd u big Roselinda akinyi (3040to Anthony mwangi (404)kathiani bee Riddim shaz babe u’v got a swagg on it kip it uppest Evelyne (304)to Jefferson lexico Wats up one of a kind dea bt usijione babi xanar coz u might turn out ki twark haha Roselinda akinyi (304)to brian musau (304)uba Wsup pal how is da goin.got tah tolk a lot durin holz Dianna wamaitha (304)to lemmyand kriss adi-hunk(304)othaya bee U guys made made up ma holz n it was a blast n u lwemmy we nid to tlk personally Rufence(304)to evince juma (404) changes Gwara zaburkingi zote nd ul absolutely mk it nyc time
Stockingz and ol’ skool can never go wrong Then we got kicked out
The few unlucky fellaz
Some Potter House love
iQru got ‘emselves some fans too
Purple swagga thgey call it
Playing pool is cool
Black so mysterious
Naah
GATCHEZVILLE
Dorah (404)to naomi (404)kumo gee Kidame chop smart unishinde luv Jackie jax (404)to siz schebertsky (404) kangoviiile Bro bobbie prince kiambu li live 2 celebrate u guys Luce (404)to prince griffness9404) kangundo bee Hop tha long distance will end Doraha (4040to smokey (404)dichez Ii lov the name bt quit the job kiwendoz most Luce (404)to ma homie(texas) Nawapenda Jackie (404)to ricks mbichiville My life would suck witot u.m into u...... Joyner joz(4040to davy U can play ur cards well but not on me .No psychology torture Joyner joz(404)Browny Didn’t mean to hurt u, wish iv culd tk bk ma mistakes
If i could only keep my eyes open Jahmu got some groupie love
I’ll stand by you
C’mon hun, i’m talking to you
Bold and beatutiful
mwaaaaaaaaaarest!!!!
MBITINI GEE (FOXERIAN GEE) EMILY(204)TO Antonia Demol(404) st.ptaha nza rock Once the sun goes dwn .u alwaiz gona bearnd coz u r ma summer love
Do you/your skool want to feature on The Insyder Big-Ups corner? Send your big-ups to yuaholla www.theinsyder.com P.O Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi or Text 0718 000002
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SNIPER
! T O H O O T IS A S A B MOM
The Sniper was just chilling by the beach when suddenly boombing music hit the waves. I mean there had be a very good reason to disturb a well earned holiday. XTR Coast Edition was it!
W
e all know ladies from Beaver could not miss it for the world and true to their word they had a colllabo with chics from Boma. Dress code? Check. Competition? Off the roof. So it was quite alarming to know that even 13 year oldz in Coasto are not chilling. So size 8 calls up a teenie on stage to help her bring fire to the already hot town, and this brother already decides that he want to take her home with her. Really?
Then comes a fusion of Rihanna and Lady Gaga better known as Pendo reppin’ Boma. This chiquitta can sing trance music that Rihanna got nothing on her but we never got the memo that Lady Gaga went black. Her make up and swag was sure not from this world but she managed to rock the crowds and will be soon coming to battle it out with Nairobi peeps- Be Warned!
SS I M D N A R M IEZ N E E T O N U MAV
dub ‘emselves Mavuno church So teeniez from nkie where fu o du t’. Holding ‘Teeniez Konnec ion and the to skool jam sess they had a back Teenz an all ss Mi d 2011 Mr an crowning of the nighter event!
The Good
Deejays The stage set-up and the owin’ thr s, top e wer ks on the dec i,My Call cool hits like the Furi Fur rise. The and hotter hits hadi sun peeps p kee to MC’s knew how 12 entertained for a whole take dels mo the , ning hours run ly disses politely and probab the the first beauty pageant after f bee n see not Sniper has the crowning of the a king lf! and queen. Big Up yourse
the good
The Bad Valentine Ogada of Parky Arya is Miss Teenz 2011 Silly dance
OK, THE Sniper did not ask z for a high table sit but gee
sniper
peeps, how like that can you have a hot event e for plac d lude sec a e and not hav had to the guest artists? They urity for be sqeezed between sec bclim ore bef e a long long tim ke this ing on stage. Probably ma the next the number one item on celebz will check list- that is if the agree to ever come again!
The Ugly
So retro is back but boy w oh boy, some people kno ss. dine sha e how to shin ry! The pictures tell the sto
Jamo Mr Teenz 2011 Anthony Libisia You’re killing us!
Jessica Mkenya
the ugly
the bad Size 8 says dance but don’t touch
Sadique in his polythene only creative wear
Lorna Karuri’s cd and sack outfit
Scout’s honor-be prepared. Dude you were not. MC Melvo and afew confused hype artists
Group love Pendo a.k.a Lady Gaga
Alloys is a bit too comfy with his Makmende look
On your marks, get set...
T9
Furi Furi reloaded
Mombasa is too hot
Do the helicopter
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October 2011
www.theinsyder.com Brother got too much on his hands
Beaver and Boma collabo
turned up in Serena Jebet ter e h lit ally! clot k Someone get aneetim sac her get to machine,we de back to her tim
S
MaDvD tried to cool off too
T I G N I P E KE FRESH
Please choose one favorite colour Lorna Karuri of PB kagwe
o today I’m looking at getting serious with all my playaz out there. We all know that at a certain point in time as we hit puberty and all that, we experience some changes that I know from your class six biology you are all too familiar with. I mean we all know that Wet dreams are just the body's natural response to its hormones. We also know that most males (though not all) have many erotic dreams in their teens. However, the frequency of these dreams tends to get less with age. Wet dreams can be quite an embarrassment for a young playa, especially if he keeps on staining the sheets. But there is nothing that can be done to stop wet dreams. So rather than give you a bunch of myths on how to stifle it, how about I let you in on a few tips that will help keep you fresh and ever so clean but more importantly, tips that will make you the most sought after playa this end of the Sahara. ……..your exterior is the bait that lures in the sistaz…..so if you wanna get your game on step one is to take care of yourself. Now pay attention! If stains are a problem, it's not a bad idea to wear shorts in bed. However, in the case of very young males who produce large quantities of semen, staining of the sheets
is almost impossible to avoid. Sleeping on a really thick towel may be helpful. A shower a day keeps the stench at bay. Pay special attention to armpits, the groin area and folds around your neck and ears. If you want to appeal to the honiez stay fresh by rocking clean clothes and if you must give those pant at least 2-4 days before hitting up a pair of used clothes. P.S if they reek they need cleaning! Wash your bedding at least once every week. Oil can build up and cause more acne for you. And so can dead skin cells. Never go to bed with your hair wet, it causes dandruff and we all know how that can kill your swag. There you have it playaz, but for the sake of those who haven’t being paying attention, ill break it down for you, it’s all about two little words, GOOD HYGIENE. Now go out there and make me proud! Fally Ipupa: Not only does he sell millions of his album every year but do you wonder why all the ladies run to mingle around him? Neat hair cut? Check! Clean clad? Check! Designer deodorant? Check! So without working so hard, swag just follows him! Keep it fresh, The Playa President!
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cover story
E L L E T CHAN
es ick com h c a if that t she’s I believe de it means tha the du e in on to a h; we ar g u o n e t if the confiden ry people! And en ntu vibe, th 21st ce r e h g n feeli dude is r them. good fo
I d n a f l e s y Me, m k rap scene. beat in the chic to I on rs pe e th I is ing artists, but ung and upcom Me, myself and yo w fe ry ve e e of th I believe I’m on f a celebrity. el ys consider m
stess if I e an air ho
weren’t a
obably b n I would pr el. llect foreig d o o c I m , s a e r c o gran ) rapper exotic fra r o f me. (Really? r x e k la c e r u s s e a r ho I’m d house c n a s ie c n e curr
Weir
d
Some jamaa just came up to me and asked me
“we huvaa mother’s union?”
The Abbass
First time
n I remember whe y m I first heard song on radio, I couldn’t stop laugh laughing. I was like “Oh my God, THAT’S ME!!!!”
question
s good friend I have been s from way with Abbas t ever we me back. When k e word “to we used th e time….We lezea” all th ould be a thought it w press the ex good idea to It was ic s ! word in mu s ject nor wa never a pro ut. It was it planned o . just for fun
Hot meter
On a scale of one to ten I would rate myself at…..c’mon, who would range themselves below average? Besides, I’d rather let my fans be the judge.
Brown Jump Suit 3,500 Blings Purple Airforce One 3,500 Blings
I believe beauty co mes from deep within , although I love m y eyes. My nails not so m uch, I get them from m y dad.
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October 2011
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’re Sexy is what you in most comfortable only whereas trashy no exists when it’s but longer about you for those around ryou... I find it ove done!
Boy toy
I am in a relationship with the hottest jamaa on the face of this planet. I love raiding his wardrobe, especially his shirts and hot pants.
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i on skoolz
i ON SKOOLZ
Bad Mind
Wayne
Toast
e c n e l l e c x E n I e n i h S Pride and Joy : Senshen (Triple S Dancehall nation) and Princi’s Range Rover
Coolest Clique: Bambasta, Bad Mind and Trindious (Don’t ask)
Best T.A: O.J coz his jokes are so dry they gat nothing on Sahara Desert
King of Panoz: Sam a.k.a Karate Kid (404) always sent out to graze the cows
Best Class: 4Q We have hunks and hunkettes (no homo)
Skool hog: Chelule (404) a.k.a Gay Lussac Law coz of the hewaz he unleashes
Sister Skool: The University of Nairobi (Hae skoolers are babies)
Swaggafied club: SCAD coz we get to go to mob funkiez
Hottest dudes: Wayne, Drew Aliela, Mackenzie and Milan
Most disliked skool: We are the only skool in Kenya so who is there to hate?
No of skool buses: Ambulance, 2 buses and 2 choppers Leisure Activities: Flinstonez the skool gym Best Structure: Samantha Coolest Dorm: White House DH Gadgets: 3D projector, 5 1500 KWHZ Speakers, Virtual DJ
First Body: Toast Most dedicated crew: Stallions; rudge team
Skool MC: Kadush
Funkie Holics: Bad Mind
SKOOL MENU MON: Chips and fish TUE: Pimped Muroo WED: Pilau+pocha+chicken THUR: R and B FRI: Beef! SAT: Pizza is ordered in SUN: Rice and Ndengu
Top Cop: Ivor Otieno very Unique chap! iQru on tour
Best Class 4Q Mawe
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October 2011
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White House Karate Kid
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O R T E R G N I K C RO I
street style
Model: Quinn repping Karoti Gee
tally edgy and to ocking fun, sassy, k sm o e lo m to so t h f you wan rself up wit ur s, hook you ansform yo fantabulou that will tr ts is en ld O rm ! ga d l n o a seco hot old sko n get up in ound retro moder g! You can also play ar a to in k o lo ing an b ck a ro h y b it ack w o touch definitely b ep added retr ke at to th r er b fo r ai Remem with your h best acin the day. from back est so as to d o m t ye hairstyles ky ories chun your access k. o lo e centuate th
PRETTY
HOT SHORTY
Look really trendy in this simply put together outfit for a day out with the girls. Colour is still in, so keep your look sassy by playing around with more than just one shade. Highwaisted blue summer shorts 2100 blings, Yellow Tee 900 blings, Aquamarine blue wedges 3200 blings Mr Price.
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October 2011
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GREEN GUTSYKeep
all the attention on you by rocking this simple yet very elegant dress. The stunners and oxfords complete the look giving you a hyped up back in the day fashion look. This look will definitely keep heads turning your way all day long. Vintage jungle green dress 2100 blings, sassy black and white oxfords 3000 blings, beige retro stunners 1800 blings Mr Price.
GIRL ROCK
Ideal for a hot date or a simple laid back afternoon with friends at the movies. You can accessorize the dress top with a pair of hot tights, jeggings or pencil jeans to give it a more ultra modern feel. This would also transform your daytime look into an amazing night time ensemble. Blue button down Reds sweater 2200 blings, black and white polka dot dress top 2100 blings, vintage black stunners 1000 blings Mr Price. Black and white scarf models’ own.
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He’s just not that into you!!
ED’S HEAD
Please help Ed! I think my boyfriend is embarrassed to be seen with me. He leaves me out of the loop when he’s hooking up with his pals and he never introduces me to his friends as ‘his girl’. He even recently lied to me that he was going to hang out with his boys only for me to find out that there were girls involved in the ‘hook up’! Even his status on fb still reads single! Am I just being paranoid or what’s happening? We’ve been dating for 4 months and I think he’s also cheating on me! Jenny. I would love to tell you that’s it’s just you being paranoid but sadly it’s worse than that. When a guy isn’t willingly acknowledging your existence in his life it just means that the brotha simply
doesn’t feel you or the relationship. I don’t think that he is necessarily embarrassed of you but rather that he is just not that into you anymore. Instead of coming straight up and telling you, he’d rather give you the cold shoulder meaning he probably doesn’t want to lose you all together but would rather keep you hanging around. You’re more of his safety pass than his girl. Chances are he might be cheating on you or there’s a sista in his passy of friends that he’s into and that’s why he never introduces you as his girlfriend. Four months isn’t long enough for you to be slung around his little finger so get out before you get really hurt. Good luck Ed.
Purple Monkey
BLINK 182 IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD !
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON SOUNDTRACK!
Black Veil Bride I told you guys a couple of months ago Blink were set to make a comeback? THEY'RE HERE!! Their latest single,'Up All Night'off their upcoming album 'Neighbourhoods' will blow peeps away! DUDE! BLINK IS BACK! The single reminds me of their third album 'Enema of the State' from 1999. Same toilet humor and fun rhythms with that classic punk feel. Looks like we had no reason to worry at all that they'd lose themselves. Blink fans both old and new will wanna rock to this!
I
Blink 182 upcoming album Neighbourhoods
don't even know where to begin to describe how awesome this album is. The line up includes Linkin Park, Goo Goo Dolls, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Staind, Mastodon, Art of Dying GAWSH! I could go on but they all wouldn't fit. As usual, Linkin Park headlined this album with their song 'Iridescent' which continues their trait of hope but a softer side of the band. The songs are all gritty but catchy and still easy on the ear without being forgettable. My favourite has to be Black Veil Bride's 'Set the World on Fire.'It sounds so heroic and fun at the same time. As with all albums there are some songs that aren't all that but hey, we all have different tastes.
Rating:
Rating: 36
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teen poetry
who to know
! ! ! ! y e e e t r a P 6 1 t Swee
was just chilling ay afternoon, as iQru On a cool hot Saturd one diva- Nicole got a phone call from doing their thang they from Moi Gee Lanet!
Les’ do this
Bath- Day
cool peeps and by the pool barbeque, her all soaked got t tha ash spl a grand re Nicole: Hi the in the water. their favoriQru: Sup Everyone came out in eaw this don’t ing and hav rts am I sho ll, We and Nicole: ite bikiniz the l party for my started on the décor of some barbeque and poo get game? lling in. chi you re y, we hda ps Birt pee t 16 tha eet Sw lounge uld come. would be an iQru: Tell us why we sho The foooood, yummy ps pee my e cribe but with hav des to ent em tat ers Nicole: First of all, I und Saints e, star hotel, ous five okh a m Bro fro de, ng esi bei from Bra the chefs be l wil order for NIS to d and we , St. Christopher’s the guests were allo White Forest ides what I only chill with cool dudes bes 5KG d two nte a wa e y hav I the g re, the anythin me a ride and cakes, My folks bought was already there! . over the keys Chantel will tokelezea Before she was handed ’ll maybe we , ent wanted her s um folk arg d the goo all , iQru: Ok, to her ride ss a whole cla her pass by. to do is be top of , cruise did she va! ce sin r-e Wa and : g ole lon Nic year ) Up ng (Phone Ha away girl! a diva, we iQru: This chiquitta is gasta show up!
Pretty girls rock
A Poem By Gillian Tan Akinyi Carmel Girls Mbiuni
ion Telephone Conversat
and of course hot dudes too Coolest mum ever
en Nicole HappywSaiwt eefotr Syoixuter next Birthday!! can’t
SURPRISE!!!!! e her and iQru decided to surpris with of made a grand entrance elezea! tok to had el ant Ch course ty with a par me eso aw Nicole had an
One Love Black Blingers in the building
iQru Annie, Nicole and Chantel
One happy family
I love green, I love pink
Its been long coach Ever since he came Your so called nephew Now all the attention, All the affection, All a misconception! For my affliction Just to see yourself gain But within you Only God knows It was focus on the ball, But now you focus on the game What happened coach? From the ball to the game To the fame For a reason inhumane So as to gain With no regrets of the pain On me Your devoted player A week gone And new changes I was once dope Now with no hope Because of him Your so called nephew My scholarship too Given to him to Leaving me stranded And disappointed The game You call it A game of the mind And not of the kind For who aren't willing But those who are feeling Following the motion And not the notion But what happened What happened coach?
Girls run this world
The hoop Was the scoop, The shot Was the thought, Luckily Or unluckily You forgot all this
Kisses
Nicole (204) MFA
Coach
Lanet
For these These cheques Which you check With your nephew's name?! My efforts Now a scoff, Coach, What happened? A lose I am the cause A win He's got the course Your nephew? Why coach? I pray For the play, And for you To make it huge, Remembering those days When it pays, To be devoted And not to be voted, Just because his your nephew Remember those on the bench Waiting for you to make a fetch, Of the team's best Not for a test But to nurture For the future , Coach, We too need a chance Even to make it to France Coach, You showed us the way Don't let it away Even though you want fame My name, Will reign Alongside the game To bring you to the top With the team As the beam Of your success Not your nephew Please coach
Kata keki tukule
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Nicole and BFF’s take a dive Chilling in the lounge
We cool and you know it
DJ Unique on the decks
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feature
FEATURE
Corporate Chic
D
uring The August holz, some of the coolest teeniez and kruspondents got a chance to chill with the coollest politician in the scene. Martha Karua-who by the end of the day nick named her ‘M.K’- invited teeniez to a chill at vibe with her at Planet Yoghurt- the only frozen yoghurt joint in Kenya. Not only is she a business lady, Nominee for CHAT 2011 role model,a lawyer, a mother of two but probably the next first female president of The Republic of Kenya. Janet Bobo reppn’ AWA thinks that our 8-4-4 system is just so messed up. She does not see the need to do some subjects considering she wants to be a lawyer just like M.K. Infact for her Chem is just a waste of her time coz she knows it its languages and Histo that she needs to up her game on. ‘I mean, not knowing about a rubber band’s elasticity limit will not harm me’. According to Martha, Bobo is quite right. She believes the education system is currently not revised and we should have an education that helps us shape our careers even before we get there. ‘So having to do all those subjects might be wak coz you have already decided what you wanna do right? However, the good thing about our education system is that it is an all round type of system. It is knowledge based. Students need to be aware of all current affairs without being heavy burdened with too much work’ Herman reppin Pioneer Skool is into music production and just to get what Martha understand the low down in the industry he decides to ask her when sshe will be president, how she would ensure upcoming teeniez earn from their talent and ensuring they are not over powered by the already established artists. According to Martha, the body of gova that
ensures no piracy and wasanii get a cut from their hard work is not really doing what it is supposed to. She believes that education is very important but so is talent. She would ensure that a system that allows efforts to be recognized reinforced, open portals for our local artists to gain international experience. ‘It is unfair that we are always ready to buy and listen to kina Jay Z’s music but who is buying Daddy Owen, Jaguar or Abbas’s music? Always support your local industries before you can help others.’ Matesh reppin’ Msoh got a lil’ personal coz she wanted to hang out with Martha for more than just a yoghurt date so she asked Martha if she ever goes to the rave. According to M.K her rave days are gone but she still enjoys some chilling with her galz, golfing with her peeps and once in a while she will dance at a wedding. It keeps her healthy! ‘Some peeps think I am very up tight and strict but it depends on what I am dealing with. By the age of 24 I was a Magistrate. You get to be serious with your job coz you see so many people suffering and you want to help lakini when it comes to merry times I enjoy a heavy laugh. So always know which mood to carry for different occassions’ Yvonne reppin Mugumo Gee was drilling to know how she relates with her toiz. According to Martha, her kids are peeps with their own mind but parental guidance is always the best. ‘So sometimes when yo’ mum seems shady think of it as her over insisting for the best for you’. She has a daughter and son whom she really tried hard to make ‘em take up law, but they followed their passion and are successful in what they do.
H T I W T U O G N I G N HA
a u r a K aM rtha
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horoscopes
s it a w a n io s u f n o c you libra
corporate living [ CORPORATE
DUDE]
FAST FORWARD
Usher Raymond Oct 14
Libra (September 23- October 22) Some confusing decisions await you - and the more you think about them, the more confused you’ll become. Watch a movie. Sleep on it all. They are too important to act on impulsively or with too much emotion.
Virgo (August 23-September 22) Expect surprises - especially where people are concerned. Friends you’ve known for years will suddenly start doing weird things! You’ll also change quite a bit. Be prepared.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Your health, social life, and career should all blossom in 2011,Opportunities will come, and you’ll jump on them. Make sure, however, that this is what you truly want. You’re going to feel stronger and more confident,
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) You’re an optimistic soul, Sag, and this should be a great year for you. Your intuition is very active, so “it” just might happen. Just be sure to look before you leap.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Be assertive and proactive when dealing with your partner and relationship issues so patience will definitely be required
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) You may start feeling tired and discouraged, but your mood will pick up very quickly. Keep yourself busy doing what you love. It’ll lift your spirits and stimulate your creativity. these very special people in 2011
o Charlie Migodh Gov Names: ary Job Title: Actu nce Actuarial Scie Degree: Bsc. Uni: J.K.U.A.T Thao future 1st Salo: 80 to predict the with numbers Love: Playing ghts Hate: Late Ni
Serena Williams September 26th Avril Lavigne Sept 27
Pisces (February 19-March 20) Your artistic abilities should blossom like wildflowers in spring. It’s important that you keep a written record of ur your insights and inspirations. You may eventually want to put them into an actionable form. As long as you use your talents and continue to enrich your spiritual life, hakuna was .
Aries (March 21-April 19) This has been a busy year, Aries. You could find yourself working twice as hard to accomplish whatever comes your way, but careful planning before you start could render things easier for you. In the long run, however, your efforts will pay off.
Taurus (April 20 -May 20) This month will bring plenty of opportunities for growth, both mental and physical you may increase your earnings or attract love but do not overindulge
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Busy as usual, Gemini? You’ll make many commitments this year - but you might have troubles keeping them all. It’s better to give an honest “no” than to have to break a promise. Remember that throughout the year.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Are most of your friends also your skulmates? You may want to widen your social circle and meet more people outside your skul this year. It’ll be more fun, and probably more interesting.
Leo (July 23-August 22) Are you looking forward to a great year? You should be. One or more of your most treasured aspirations might finally become a reality. Make it happen for yourself.
sing your last mao paper. would hate yourself for not pas you lad s thi o int p bum t firs When you s, it is with you… problem is not with the number The y. eas so k loo ths ma kes ma He Story by Annie Wambita
A
Actual Science is simply the science of getting someone’s info from the past, replacing ‘em with digits – almost like algebra, then using those digits to calculate financial risk . We anticipate the probability of your life or business succeeding by using numbers. That is it! There are very few Actuaries in Kenya, that’s what makes it even a sweeter job to have. In Campo the content of what you study is 98% maths while 2% is others. Others being sports coz you need to keep your mind active, playing kati or blade and skiving class,lol! Being a dhafu chop is not really a must. You just have to be creative with numbers and generally a person who is into trivia. However, math chopiez have an added advantage. Take it from me, the only subjects in Mao that will ever help you are probability and Statistics. Life revolves around this; calculate your probability in succeeding in life or get statistics of the failures you meet in life, sad but true yo’. My hae skool was mos’ def Highie a.k.a Ashez Forever! Will never forget our jet ‘Cage’, the
lit T.A Mr. Ochieng and sweater fights with Jahmu…good ol’ times. Hobbies are defiWake up and smell nitely playing B.Ball, PS 3, composing the coffee playa music and Sudoku coz mathematics baiby! ain’t a disease. Do you want to be Here is where the an Actuary? Wake money is at. up and smell the coffee playa coz mathematics ain’t a disease. Here is where the money is at.If you get to do it, after your undergrad run for the International papers and you will be a hot cake in Africa.
DAILY DIARY
apps on my Blacker Berry…Yazzur, this is my daily target! Grab a quick serial and cruiz to jobo by 6am to beat the Kenyan traffic. First Task is to sit down by 6.30 am, check and respond to all emails before getting down to business; Save a family with life insuarance, hook up a hustler with a business plan, teach a shosho how to invest her pension then get a politician to sell his property at a profit. If it was in my control, we need to start calling actuaries super heroes instead. We save lives using numbers…word! At Lunch hour I hook up with peeps at the nearest five star then roll back to the office to finish pending work. This might take a while, with meetings in different offices and companies and sometimes out of the country Get Home 10 pm ish but before I count sheep, I must watch like 5 episodes of my favorite TV series ‘Numbers’. Switch off the lights…zzzz!
When I wake up thank God for seeing another day and download the latest complex Sudoku www.theinsyder.com
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GURL TALK
guy TALK
MY MOM IS SHADY!
y d o b e m o s p!
THE OTHER GUY
Dear Molly, Most of the time especially when we are under our parents care, they dictate what to do, what to wear and even where to go school. So often we don’t have a choice over anything. However there is always a way out in everything you face. Firsts you need to appreciate the fact that you mum has done something to make sure you have something to cloth your body. Second thank her for what she has done to you. Thirdly in a respectful and polite manner approach her; let her know how you feel when you wear those clothes and let her know that you will appreciate if she buys you something else. Demonstrate to her that you are responsible and you can be trusted to go and buy your own clothes. This might not work out immediately, be patient and don’t let what your friends are saying to get into you. You may find that after sometime your mum will buy you what you want or she will give you money to buy what you like. Remember not to disappoint her or let the trust she has for you die. Big sis.
Nairobi’s hotspot area normally associated with the punk life a.k.a the rich kids’ play ground. iQRU got the chance to explore this area code and got an upclose heads up about the joints teeniez hang out @ as well as where they shop. Even though this place houses uite a number of affluent stores where the ‘walleted’ teeniez shop, we also have the Westlands market where teeniez shop for their clothes.
she loves mme.e ..not she loves e... she loves m not she loves me
l e h
Hi Big Siz, I have a really embarrassing problem. People always make fun of me because of the way I dress. I know I don’t have the most trendy clothes but it’s not my fault, I tried talking to my mom about it but she told me off and said that I was being ungrateful. How can I make her understand? Molly
i on hoods
a Westie .k.a
W
Vega$
estlands market: The shoe kingdom at Browny’s place is one of the many places where teens go to buy shoes. This place is said to have the latest in feminine fashion. Another interesting bit of this market was Willers Fashonista. This place is ran by a guy named ras robber. Asobserved by the iQRU on the ground all peeps of all class whether white, black or Asian all go to this guy for the latest
Hood Hoppin’ by
Boy Dis A Parky arya c hiq on movie selection at studio 4 in westie
fashion. iQRU spotted a parky arya chiquitta shopping for movies and when we caught up with her she had this to say: Studio 14 was the only place all over Westie that u can get the latest movies @ a cheaper price than most of the places in Westlands that sell movies. All the fun in Westie has its specific areas where they go down. Lunarpark steals all action for
fun. This place is off the hook. The iQRU got the chance to see all the action as it goes down at this area. The best thing about this place they have a food court. A good forum for hooking up with friends and the same time run away from all the city madness. There are several skoolz within this hood of glitz and glamour they are of course Patch, Kianda and Aga Khan High built over a bridge!
Hi Biggie, I really like this gal at school and I don’t know what to do to make her notice me. My best friend who’s considered cool also seems to like her. He can have any other girl in the school, why does he want the one girl I really like? Should I just give up or try my luck? Calvo Hey Calvo Love is not an instant incidence it grows with time and by and by it is full grown, if rushed through mere infatuation heartbreaks are unavoidable and by extension more hurting it is. First thing you need to ask yourself, does the girl know that you like her? What if she likes your friend more? Calvo there is nothing wrong with your friend being attracted to this girl, however what you will need to know is that at the end of the day it is the girl who will choose whom she want to be with. Rather than concentrating on what your friend is doing, go ahead and let the girl know what you want or your desires. That way you will know whether she feels the same or she has different feelings. Whichever the response take it and move on. If it is positive, discuss how your relationship will be. If negative move on, maybe she was not meant to be yours. Calvo, don’t be jealous of your friend, am sure there are girls in your school who consider you cool, handsome, funny to be with therefore you can also get other girl to be your girlfriend. In all this don’t forget why you went to school, as much as is healthy to have a social life, it is important to know the limits especially at this time when you are still in school. Make sure, if you engage in a relationship it does not affect your studies. Be yourself boy! Biggie
Teens on the banana ride @ lunar Park Westlands Patcherians
Mc frys westie a spot where guyz usually chill iQRU interviewing Ras Robber chilling at lunar park westlands Brawnys shoe palace
mchuongoano
il! a m t o g s a h , jahmu you
an are more fly th gitch that we vipi obbz! iq ch y s an ed t fe ge at r ve the hand th you. You will ne Y’all just bit get esent and you y attempt to ut us being pr ho rr it so w ur Yo u. yo us e side of being an th th t r ge ople othe guyz always t noticed by pe ar st n time. You ca OBBZ!!! ce failed you big t the appearan ant and dis us w u yo l al Speaking abou ef ck si up be us e r ak he m ot u ere’s no of you guyz,yo but mnajua th your ever sitch e untidy with n to except ea ar ru l ll al u’ y’ yo e ac pl is washed at t th ar m st or e if hen w recycled un u ver we bee because w yo ne d he an w op d e never st ce a month an on e disciplining w u gu re you yz ar without us yo get hold of whe u leave is like obviously know nce. yo t iste DYM!! The scen y. In short TAKE are never in ex k at us we are tuar a loo that of a mor When you take be off the to ! ed er TH id BA ns A co most your you guyz with hook because never u yo s ce fa e not so handsom 44
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suck!
JAHMU
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real life
f o Life m a J a n o i Sess A c i Ch
the s a chic, she really stands out from cers in dan chic few the of crowd she is one sions, ses Jam of ld wor ed inat the male dom try and make and thats why she stands up to Jam session is for peeps understand the fact that The iQRU tries to everyone and not only for boys. who loves the unravel the truth behind the girl Jam Session.
Please define jam session? This is a an event where all kind of chiqs and dudes go to hang out, make friends and dance their hearts out. Where does the action take place? I know a couple of place such as F2, Chemill, Soma, F1, Pink Elephant but it was closed due to many obbz. How much iz it to enter and party at this joints? These joints are basically not as expensive as perceived, but it ranges from 100 to 150 bob. Where do you get the cash for going to this Sessions? True dat many people ask this question, honestly speaking, I get to go for the Jam session through the savings i make while in school. Sometimes my girl friends also come along and pay for me. What do you take of chiqs who are paid for by
boys they meet at the gates of these venues? I think they are showing how cheap they can be. Such chiqs are the ones who make us to look bad and easy. sorta gving us a price tag, they also spoil the name off all chiqs who go to this stuff in that this chiqs are only no different from the common street walkers. As a chiq how does it feel when you go for the Jam Session? I feel totally normal since everyone is the same and we all deserve to be treated the same Gender equality Is what I’m preaching. Many people tend to degrade chiqs who go for these things but id like to say this we are not different from the normal grown up chiqs who go for rave at the normal clubs. If I may ask what do you paroz think of you going for this staff? My mom knows I go but my dad he would prob-
ably kill me if he finds out I went there. I understand you are a dancer right? how do you express this talent? Yap I am a dancer (crazy dancer iz the name) I am a performer at F2 where I go to get down and show people the real meaning of dancing. Point to not anyone touches me coz if you touch any dancer in my crew we bit you up. How do you balance school and this Jam Session fever? School iz on during week days but during weekends its party n more party What do you have to tell the teens around you ? I’m all in my game and if you are young you will need to enjoy life because when you are old you will not be able to do staff like this. Peace!!!
under cover brother
The Spirits of Pumu W e were at it again, this time it was a dudes school which had the bad taste of the evil spirits. As tha undercover brother had his sources on high alert, he discovered that in this silent school known for musical glory, evil spirits decided to test their faith. The sources revealed that the ghosts started occurring in the middle of the night with someone (identity withheld, you never know the devil might be reading this) saying he sees the devil standing and waving at him. From this point guys thought he was crazy but the spirits never cease to amaze. Apparently some of the
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students around passed out for a couple of minutes and later all hell broke loose uite literally. The situation left the entire student body dumbfounded and switched to deep prayer mode. The following day all the students were sent home to calm the situation in the school. Our sources revealed everyone in the school wentback to school after ‘thorough prayers’ with rosaries and bibles. Well the Undercover Bro always has advice on books, relationships and swag but when it comes to evil spirits all he says is ‘ran and deng, do not look behind’.
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