volume 10_number 09_sep_2010
FREE
EMINEM
de poster insy
MUSIC FESTS & SPORTS NATIOZ Big Ballin’
GOLD DIGGER ALERT The Tell Tale Signs
The ime T w o Sh Issue
MR. & MISS. SHOWBIZ Starring Jobu & Shish
CONTENTS
What’s Sizzling This Month
Which local proggie do you enjoy most?
Star Dust Cover Story
Starrin’ Jobu & Shish pg 31-32
Chronicles 254 Celeb Scene pg 8
SLY
Beba Beba, Voke and Tasha rock and Angel is smokin’ hawt
KASK
Funkie-licious TV Undercova Brotha
Eric
Higher learning cast is off the hook (Sherry * wink*)
Tahidi still takes the cup. Anticipating TPF4.
pg 26
Action Reaction pg 12
Pink Diary Street Style DALLAH BILL
THOME Banda, Majesh and Tasha rock Beba Beba for me.
Changing Times is the truth, the cast is way too fresh (Sean *wink*).
pg 43
JIMMIE The new proggie on Citizen ‘Machachari’ iko juu!!!
The iMC’s Coolest September Moments Come-backs: Eminem, Nicki, Bamboo...
Countdown to K.C.S.E Time for some final touches
Good Stuff!
So not co ol
Underage drinking
Ramadhan Kareem & Eid Mubarak To all our Muslim teeniez
Say NO to alcohol & drugs! l coo es Tr
Making The Cover
The Insyder Offices:
New Constitution Yaaay!
Tamima
Hi, Time sure flies when you’re ballin! Last holz was very momentous marking the ushering in of a new chapter in our country’s history with the adaptation of a new constitution. Well it’s back to skool time so ditch the holz
Main Feature
Cover Story nostalgia and switch to the books especially 404s, this is the final M.O.G - The Best Of lap of the race and there’s still plenty that you Both Worlds can do to make a difference. In this month’s issue your monthly dose of teentainment is loaded with all the juice on the Music Fests & Sports Natioz. To celebrate the local production boom,we chatted up two of the hottest stars on the tube; Beba Beba’s Jobu & Tahidi High’s Shish. Enjoy! Holla at us via Facebook. Join: The Insyder Magazine XOXO iMC
On The Cover: Jobu & Shish
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
Yua Holla with
If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill... Hit us up on: yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002, Online: www.theinsyder.com
Almost There! Hi i-Qru, school experience a Thanks for making my high mag. The 404s in Statoe are pleasant one with your cool as we are almost there! super excited to finish school country are feeling the Am sure most 404s around the we should all keep that same way. I’d just like to say ks to K.C.S.E so that wee out of trouble for the next few ess y’all! Succ n. we’ll have a smooth transitio Achie (404) Statoe
Number One Fan
Hi i-Qru, I’m the biggest fan of your mag, heck I even go to the loo with it. I got snaps of all of you stuck on my bed (I think Thome is haaaawwwwttttt!) I love the posters and snaps of teeniez in the mag and I’d love to also see mine, pwiiizzzz? Mytchelle Dee C.S.I.
Achie, myself. Success! I couldn’t have said it better iMC
connect
Hi Dee, Wow! Thanks for the love and I’m glad to make your wish come true. iMC
Bonaventure Ka Bona Charles Patch has mad phsyke, kwanza 304’s! Bryan K-Trixx Mwaniki The August issue is off the hook Drake’s cover iko juu! Thanks 4 the Gyptian poster hop u will featùre more dancehall musicians!
Fastidious Freaks Hi I-Qru, dance group from Ribe We are the Fastidious Freaks mag and we’d really like Gee in Coasto. We love your k out our swag. It’ll mean a you peeps to come and chec to appear in the Insyder. lot as we have always wanted Pwani. How do we get You rarely feature schools from
Peace! Tatiana Pinky Sly Wsup.....u guys r jst da bomb!! Kevo Yung Monay The Insyder found us when we were lost coz no-one cared for the teeniez and if u think that’s lame then u still lost. Kudos Insyder u de cooolest! Hezbon Michira re-reading the mag 4 the 3rd tym! Renêe Oe-Zil Swagg-ahOlic I luv the drake pic!!!! Search: The Insyder Magazine on Facebook to connect with The Insyder Magazine and holla at us all your comments..
about this? , Irene and Sarah) Ribe Fastidious (Naomi, Val, Yvonne Galz
Art Corner
Hi Freak, of your dance crew and LOL. Please send us pictures from Pwani and we’ll holla at us all the sizzlin’ vibe definitely hook you up! iMC
Dranya
Origin: The streets of Jahmu
Meaning: Chic
Will Smith by Rachael Atwoli Lugulu Girls
slang’r corne
As used in a sentence
1. Yule dranya anapenda kwenda mafunkie. 2. Pngoe inamadranya wamestand
The Unbreakable Smooth Writing Ball-Point Pen’
Your local Inteenet Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........T-9 Playa Prezident Pg 10.......KRUspondents in Action Pg 12.......Action Reaction
EVER WONDER 13
11
15
8
4
12
you just have to ask
the new constitution
Dunco to do the chorus?
have provisions for a
21. Isn’t the compe
11. Has Alfayo been
woofer and an amplifier?
between mobile phone
de-throned by Kartel
5. Does Mavuno
as king of Kateng’a?
Church have a combine
service operators simply blissful for us?
10. Did Makmende get
harvester?
20. Are phones
saved, is DNA still a
a coincidence?
another job?
4. What would happen if
companies & mobile
fan of ‘Banjuka’?
operators addicted
16. Weren’t we all
Eminem is not afraid,
14. If
why does he have to
to fruits; Apple,
secretly wishing
lie to Rihanna in the track ‘Love The Way
Blackberry & Orange?
Weezy was forced
19. Now that Facebook
to shave his dreads
has billions of fans
before going to
the chics in ‘Road to
will they create a
jail; just to see how
Miss Kenya’ trying
Face-encyclopedia or
he’d look?
library?
18. How many
faces does 2Face Idibia have on Facebook?
17.Now that he’s
15. Is the
similarity in beats
13. Weren’t
a lil’ bit too hard to knock-off America’s
to Breezy’s song
Next Top model?
‘Deuces’ and Riri’s ‘Te Amo’ too much of
Sept
You Lie’?
12.
Is it true that if you want a Gospel hit
2 0 1 0
4
9. Isn’t it just hilarious
Richie Spice performed
that the punk look is
his song ‘Brown Skin’
the in-thing yet there
in Sudan?
are really no rock
versus Harry Potter?
stars locally?
8. Does
3. Twilight
2. Diddy-Dirty Money
Churchill get ill every
does this mean that all
time he goes to Church?
the money he’s making
7. Is the Love & Hate
is dirty?
joint Bamboo’s come-
1. With all the come-
back hit?
6. If Kenneth
backs and the new kids
Marende is the speaker
on the scene, who’ll
of the parliament, will
come out tops?
Your local Inteenet
Mchongowano
T-9 Playa PreZIdent
Is She A Gold Digger?
Either split the bill or ditch the gold digger
Niaje Playa Prezzo, I’ve been dating this chic for three months now; she’s easy on the eyes, cool to hang out with but I have one issue with her; she never spends a dime when we go out on a date, hata Pin-Pop hawezi nunua! My paroez give me enough pocket money but eish kwani is there a law (that I don’t know about) which states that as the jamaa I always have to pay for her expenses? Ama I’m dating a gold digger? Collo 304 Strath Collo, Collo, It’s jungle out there, truth is you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. So be a man and take a stand.
First Date Rules
The Playa Rule Book states that; the burden of the bill rests solely on the shoulders of the playa on the first date (only because first impressions are important plus you asked her out). Also maybe second and third dates. The only other scenarios that dictate you should get stuck with the bill include special occasions say her birthday (which is once a year!).
Gold Digger Alert
Sounds to me you’re in a relationship with this chic. Does she throw tantrums when you refuse to buy her stuff? Does she love expensive stuff all of which she can’t afford? If she seriously can’t foot the bill for a PinPop frankly all you should be seeing are red flags when you look at your gold digging chic.
Advisory
The burden of the bill is a really grey area because there’s a unique species of chics who’ll be offended when you offer to pay the bill. Playas take the lead and clarify the issue before going on a date, getting stuck with a bill you can’t afford (because of her extravagances). Either that because if you’re broke uta chonga viazi... Collo, get a clue and dump the gold-digging-leach of a chic. T-9 Playa Prezident
Sept
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6
Your local Inteenet
CELEB SITE
CELEB 101 1.Caroline Mutoko chilling out with St.Gee honiez 2. Celebrity couple Marya & Moustapha sizzle on the red carpet 3. Lil Kim’s dance collabo with Juma Nature during her concert in Tanzania
3.
1.
4. Sheila Kwamboka, Kenya’s rep to the BBA house getting cozy with Tanzania’s Mwisho 5. Check out Sean Paul’s Mo-hawk at the BBA-All Stars Premier
4.
2.
5.
MISSING LYRICS
Fill in the blanks for each song and name the artist/s.
Local Song ‘Gal you drive me _____ ‘You make my ____ go, Kuku kuku ku-ku kuku, ‘My head to my _________, Kiki kiki ki-ki kiki Artist:_________________ Local Song ‘Call me the _________ girl all year ‘Don’t just make them listen I raise their _____ But don’t strip for_____ I’m the original _____ Artist/s:_________________
Clue: Gospel boy band who love to zing
Clue:
She’s a dreamer
International song ‘I better find your ____ I bet if I give all my ___ Clue: ‘Then nothings gonna __ I’m more than just a __ He’s the best you’ve ever Hey Hey Hey, I doubt you’ll find another heard Artist:_________________ Answers: 1.) Crazy, Heart, knees & toes Song: Wedding Day Artists: M.O.G 2.) Song: Favourite Song: Favourite Artists: STL 3.) Heart, Love, Tear Us Apart, Number Song: Find Your Love Artist: Drake
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Solve the problems to find out the age of the youngest rapper in the Young Money camp; Tygga?
> >
>
The number of people who make up Sauti Sol?
The number of CHAT Awards Eko Dydda won at the 2009 CHAT Awards? The age of Karate Kid movie star Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith?
8
=
A
=
B
=
c
Multiply A by B then add to C Answers: 4x2=8 8+12=20
Sept
FAME BY NUMBERS
Your local Inteenet
Sept
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n o ti c A In ts n e d n o p s U R K We gave lucky teeniez a chance to intern at The Insyder HQ for an entire week. Check out the tell-all pix as our KRUspondents give you the insyde scoop on what it is really like working at The Insyder Magazine…
Robert, Ryan & Olive hard at work; don’t disturb they’ve got a deadline to beat
Robert interviewing Vincent (Homabay Boys)
All eyes on Robert: Olive and Ryan had no choice but to listen to Robert
The KRUspondents chilling with Raudy
KRUspondents Diary Robert Muigai (304) M.F.A
It’s been an awesome one week hanging out at The Insyder HQ. It was not only fun and games but I also learnt more about all the hard work that goes into producing The Insyder Mag. You’ve shown me that there are no limits to achieving my dreams. Thank you i-Qru! P.S. Pliz remind Dalla Bill to
show all KRUspondents the loo, u really don’t want to know what happened to me.
Ryan Omondi (304) Jahmu
This has been the shortest week this year for me. It was really fun hanging out at The Insyder HQ. I’ve learnt to appreciate the spirit of team work after experiencing first hand what the i-Qru go through to entertain us.
How To Apply
Tahidi’s Shish...
Ryan interviewing Adams (Parky)
Olive recording an interview with Charlene....
...and Jobu during the September cover shoot
P.S. Where are the toilets just asking?
Olive Murage (304) Boma
No words can describe how great it was to have the chance to work at The Insyder. The making of this cool magazine is not easy but it sure is fun. I felt really professional doing interviews and working with editorial team, awesome!
Holla at us why you think you deserve a chance to be part of the coolest crowd around via yuaholla@theinsyder.com or write to us at yuaholla P.O Box 51634. Include your name, age, school & contacts. You may just be the next KRUspondent in Action…
illin out Robert (MFA) ch Vanika at d an 8 e Siz th wi The Insyder HQ
Your local Inteenet
MERU NATIONAL PARK Complete Wilderness Meru National Park is located east of Meru, Kenya. Few places offer a more genuine wilderness ambiance than the remote and rugged Meru and Kora National parks. Elsa the lioness, made famous in the bestselling book and award winning movie Born Free was raised here. One the lesser known parks of Kenya the park offers a more genuine wilderness ambiance with its key features being a luxurious jungle, coursing rivers, verdant swamp, khaki grasslands, gaunt termite cathedrals and an ever evolving dance between clouds and sky.
Activities in the park Game and birdlife viewing, camping and walking Safaris under the guide of a ranger.
Sept
KWS Self Catering Accommodation The park offers Self-catering accommodation which includes students’ hostels, the Murera and Kinna Bandas, and Guest house. There’s also The Leopard Rock Lodge and The Elsa’s Kopje which offers an exclusive 9 stone and thatch cottages (suitable for families), international cuisine, swimming pool and game viewing.
Giraffa camelopardal is reticulata
Park Entry:Kenya Citizen
For more information please contact:
Kenya Resident
P.O. Box 40241-00100 Nairobi- Kenya Tel: +254(20)6000800, 602345
Adults
300/=
1000/=
Children
100/=
500/=
Students
100/=
200/=
Fax: +254 (20)6007024 ISDN: +254(20) 3992000 Wireless: +254(20)2379407/8/9 +254 (20) 2379410/1/3/4/5/6 Mobile: +254 (726) 610508, +254 (735)663421
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Your local Inteenet
ACTION REACTION
St.Marks Hit The Mark The KSSSA Term 2 Games Natioz was a tourna filled with theatrics both off the pitch and on the pitch as previous underdogs battled it out with game king-pins to emerge victors. The Jahmu versus Nyanza big shots St. Mark’s football finals was a highly anticipated match not only because Jahmu had defeated the Nyanza team at their last meet during the qualifying rounds but following heightened tension, an aftermath of the St. Marks –Kakamega match which was marred with allegations of misconduct on the pitch. Boys volleyball tournament underway
final Jahmu versus St.Marks football
Even the juju ma n has joined the vuvuzela craze ....
Katch players accused St. Mark’s fans of launching a physical attack towards their players during their on-pitch celebration after St. Mark’s scored an equalizer goal. The Katch boyz pleaded their case to the officials, hoping that the game would be discontinued in their favour due to the “injuries” that they had sustained from the attack. This however proved futile as there was no supporting evidence resulting in an official ruling to continue the match. The Westerners then took a stand of defiance refusing to continue the match which then resulted in a forfeit to St. Marks. The finals match ended with barren scores resulting in a penalty kick-out, Jahmu however lost out during the fifth penalty kick but St. Mark’s scored their way to the title, the glory and a ticket to the E.A Games. The galz b-ball finals was a tight race between b-ball powerhouses Tigoi and Shimba Hills but Tigoi outwitted their opponents taking home the title. The boys’ b-ball tourna fielded Maseno and Laiser Hill for the final match, Nyanza big pins Maseno had luck on their side to win the title. Malava held their name proud as the boys’ and girls’ teams emerged victorious thrashing Cheptil Bee & Tetu Gee to clinch the volleyball tourna title.
Jogoo High skool chics jubilant over their title win
KSSSA TERM 2B CHAMPIONS SPORT
GALZ
Basketball
Tigoi Gee (Western Province)
Hockey
Kerugoya Gee (Central Province)
Handball
Shimba Hills (Coast Province)
Rugby Football Jogoo Road (Nairobi) Volleyball
St. Marks celebrate their win over Jahmu
Sept
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Malava Gee (Western)
DUDES Maseno (Nyanza) Mang’u (Nairobi) Kitany (Rift Valley Mang’u (Nairobi) St. Marks Mokorogoinwa (Nyanza) Malava Bee (Western)
Too hot for T.V.
TOO HOT FOR T.V.
Take a look at what stars have been up to Pg 16................Beatlab Pg 18................Star Ststs: Raudy Pg 26................Undercova Brotha
ANSWER BITCH
End Of The Road?
Ssup Bitch, Tahidi is becoming boring day by day. We no longer see OJ, Shish and Tanya drama. Could this be a stunt to finally pull them out of Tahidi? Bonnie Easich 404 Bonnie, I’m not the director and neither am I entertainment weekly. Since you’re in 404, should the government change the system so that it takes you 2 years or more to clear? Chew on that. Nkt! AB
Hi AB, Now that Juliani is doing collaboz with the likes of Abbas Kubbaff does this mean that he’s fallen into temptation and ditched Gospel? Krystal KG 304 Krystal just because you asked me a retarded question does that mean that you should be committed to a mental hospital? P.S: Just because you’re a church heathen doesn’t mean that he is. Juliani is a philosopher in-touch with societal issues and like the messiah he’ll roll with sinners like you to bring change to the world. AB
Tyra Banks before pic (left) and Tyra’s new slimmer look (right)
Hi Bitch, DMX, T.I., Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, Da Brat, Lil Kim, Foxxy Brown & T.I.D to name but a few celebz who’ve been jailbirds. You’d think that the rest of them would at least learn and try to behave. Does prison suck less if you’re a celeb or is it publicity stunt? Bobby Saintz 404 Bobby, Here’s my two bob (get it?) on the matter, from the way you’re policing people try a career as a prison warden. AB
Just because Juliani has done a collabo with Abbas doesn’t mean he’s quit Gospel
Sept
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Dearest Bitch, What the hell is going on with Tyra? Have you seen how she has lost so much weight? She is so skinny I can swear her forehead is weighing down her neck! Joan Riara 304 Dearest Miss-Know–It-All, I’ll stick up for my home girl T-Fierce-Banks (yah we tight like that). When she put on weight the likes of you said she was fat, now she has cut down, you say she is skinny?! Next time you’re feeling depressed about your shapeless body try chewing on a carrot. AB.
MAKINI COLLEGE Corner House, 14th and 15th Floor, Kimathi Street, Opposite Hilton Hotel.
Too hot for T.V.
The college provides a condusive learning environment equipped with modern facilities. University of London Degrees and Diplomas starting soon.
Vacancies available in: • Business Management • Purchasing and Supplies Management • Sales and Marketing • Human Resource Management • Information Communication Technology • Public Relations • Accounting (ATC/ CPA/ ACCA) • Customer Service
Intakes:
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An accredited training centre for:
Contact us on: 2727552/3, 2224117, Email: info@makinicollege.com Web: www.makinicollege.com
funkie vybeshow
Buru’s Glee! The Music Fests Natioz at Kakamega was a colourful and culturally rich arena as skools brought their best to the stage in popular categories such as Choral Verses, Dance, Choir to mention but a few and rock the stage they definitely did especially
the Zilizopendwa renditions. Starch brought their A-game to the stage and shined even off stage as the chics just couldn’t seem to have enough of the boys in blue. Buru was also on the scene and participated in a
Buru honiez & Coach Noah chilling out with some of the celebz whose songs they’ve remixed; Jaguar, Collo, Nameless & little Tumiso
Sept
little known category titled; ‘Advanced Composition & Arrangement’. Technical jargon aside, Buru honiez have emerged tops in this category for the last four years in a row! What’s the fuss? Ever watched an episode of the hit TV series Glee, well Buru chics know a lil’ something about being in a Glee Club. In the last four years Buru have perfomed pop choral renditions of Collo’s ‘Msichana High Class’, The Longombas ‘Vuta Pumzi’, Tattu’s ‘Teso’ and Nameless’ ‘Salari’ to win the number one title.
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Buru’s stars during a training session
We hooked up with the maestro behind Buru’s success Voice Trainer & coach Noah Mogalo (who’s also a professional Music Producer, Arranger & Celebrity Voice Coach) for some insight on this unique Music Fests category and the secret behind Buru’s success.
He pegged it down to their interesting song selection (using dot.com hits). He then re-arranges the modern hits for a choral performance and with the Buru honiez lending their voices and moves to it; it’s always certainly a banger!
Too hot for T.V.
beat lab
Explosive Sizzling Volatile Effervescent
Innert
I’m leaving
MC: Sheila Mwanyigah
pop feel is present
Production: Decimal
in the beats, so club
Video
banger status for
Video: Ogopa Video
this track still hangs
Review by Marcus Itimu
in the balance. However it will make
Sheila Mwanyigah has
it to a couple of
definitely got her Sasha
request lines just for
Fierce (read Nikki) on
peeps to watch Miss
in this one. She’s come
Nikki sashay in the
out guns blazing with a
video!
spankin’ new image to boast in the video of this track. An unmistakeable
Kare
Rating:
Beat Ikigonga MC: Raudy Production: Calif Records (Beat ya Clemo) Video: VB Nash Media Review by Marcus Itimu
Raudi amegonga 8 points on this one! Prediction; definite club banger. The beats are so catchy yet refined enough to bump to
MCs: P-Unit
(Clemo must have been
Production: Musyoka/Decimal Record
having a good day). Don’t
Video: Willie Owusu/Big Ideas
even get me started on the
Review by Marcus Itimu
video, it’s the tightest one out of the Calif camp as of yet and it will propel the
Kare Kare...iko juu period from the video to the smooth melody and delivery by the P-Unit camp. Bon-eye, Frasha & Gabu must have aced their fasihi lessons specifically shairi because they aced the lyrical flow on this track. Once again they’ve managed to inspire a new slang expression...Kare.
success of this song in the charts. The lyrics are also quite catchy but Raudy’s swagga is enough to leave you chanting “So beat ikigonga anza tu kusonga utingishe mwili kama anaconda...” Rating:
Rating:
The views expressed in this column are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The Insyder
Sept
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16
Talented and ambitious Calif based MC Raudy’s latest track ‘Beat Ikigonga’ has not only received a warm reception with fans but massive air-play. The track is the newcomer’s first solo release. Raudy has previously done studio collaboz with other artists including Jua Cali, Maida, Mejja & Allahola but his most notable feature was in Size 8’s hit track Size 8 which marked his debut into the mainstream music scene. He started out performing in funkiez from prima all through high skool. Upon clearing he stepped up his hustle and managed to get veteran producer Clemo to sample his demo, landing him a recording deal with one of the most popular and successful labels in the country. With his charm and lyrical flow this is one MC on the verge of cruising in the big league.
STATS
Full Names: Victor Neto D.O.B: July 4th High Skool Alumni: Easich Class of 2006 Label: Calif Records
Always
Always
BiG UPs THANK YOU BIG UPS
ST. MARY’S BOYZ NYERI Stan-Johnny walker (204) to Carlynn babez (204) M. Thanx gal…I needed that Mwas ‘Mavado’ (404) to Caro Cheptoo Gal, I owe u big tym thanx 4 ur help O.J Rimbui (404) to Phylis Mugo(404) Kiburia Luv u gal thanx 4 blessing ma lyf. Chege Nesta(404) to Xtine Nyagichuhi (304) I owe u A LOT! Ur my best friend thanx kwa kila kitu Kris (304) to Phoebe Nyakio Thank u 4 everything especially…u knw what MUX BEE Vinny (404) to Eileen, Samantha, Winny, Deeh ‘n’ Babeta (404) Lix Gee Ua ma greatest pals. Cheers. Vinny to Georgina, Tigoi Gee Ur so supreme. ST.TITO Jayne-liz (404) to Baru I’ll always b gr8ful GITHIGA BOYZ Marion (304) to Watikah (304) Thanx 4 being da coolest desky lyk cadbury. NPC BURU Garvey Cartel (204) to Anita (204) Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin Tosh Mutisya (404) to Karisma (404) Manze thanx 4 u knw what STEPH JOY ACADEMY Shantrel (404) to Rooney J. (404) Thanx a lot 4 being a true friend BUSARA Daisy O. (404) to Marcos (404) Thanx 4 being a true friend Malkia Achieng (404) to Makaveli Bobby (404) Thanx 4 everything Dione Symeker(204) to Winnie Thanx 4 all ur help siz Nessy (404) to Don (404) Ur my everything. Thanx a lot K-SOUTH Elaine Ifrika(304) to Karsi (404) Thanx 4 always being there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal UNGEM Timmo K(404) to Xtine (204) Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin Biko (404) to Ciku (404) Manze thanx 4 u know what. KHALSA Quinter (304) to Maimona (404) Thanx 4 always being
there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal Sienna (304) to Dan Niaje thanks 2 sana 4 all ur help Ur a good friend KAGWE GEE Phylis (304) to Mum I luv u mum thanx 4 always being there 4 me Janet Njoki (404) to Mum & Dad I appreciate everything u do 4 me KABARAK Edu (304) to Laura (404) Thanx gal! Vince(304) to Tess (404) Thanx 4 caring Say hi 2 Ur cute bro. Manu (404) to Mum & Dad Thanx 4 understanding me I owe u all my luv PUMU Tony Yayo (404) to Faith (404) I know u dnt knw me well but I owe u my thanx I’ll xplain this holz Maxi Priest (404) to Nora Luv u 4 lyf n thanx 4 everything PATCH Johnny Walker(204) to Bancy (204) Thanx gal…I needed that Cartel (404) to Laura Cheptoo Gal, I owe u big tym thanx 4 ur help
I MISS YOU BIG UPS
MUX BEE Lumbasi Joseph (Mux Bee) to Linet (St. Mary’s Sosio) I miss you baiby I need you ryt by by ma syd. Bonnie (404) Mux Bee to Rina (304) KG Ur so xquisite. Passion ya n il always b dreamin 4U Anastacia (304) to Marley (404) Tala High Always in my heart man Brian (Sigalame) to Lister (St. Agnes Shibuye) Cuzo miss you big Birdgal to Badman (404) Watch every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every tym I pray, al b missing you Ivy (304) to David (304) Mang’u For me to say this means u r truly special. Thanx for coming into my life at the ryt moment. I miss you. Brian (304) Sigalame to Becky (304) Butere Gal miss you big long time not seen. STATOE Nelly (404) to Oscar and Alex Mac Bee (404) Y’all peeps have gone dup! wea r U?? I miss you! Mwix (404) to Kevo (404) Patch I jus miss ua presence! Barbara (404) to Saha (404) AQ Wassup, miss ya bigtym!!
Ida (204) to Anto (404) Ditchez Aki nimekuhata vizii, stay fly. Zena (204) to Miguel (404) Jahmu Long tym no talk! Break da silence. Miss ya bigtym. Cynthia Mwash (304) to Sammy Ongash (304) Texas Stop killing me with the silence you’ll make me go mad. I miss you! Nelly (404) to Edu, Karis, Sanchez, Gman and Broz (404) Uppah I love you all. Y’all don’t know how much you mean to me!! Miss you! Winnie Mumbi (304) to Sheila Wambui (104) Mary Immaculate Hope high school is what you expected and you are enjoying it. Luv you and miss you and pliz chop hard. NEMBU Hildavan (304) to Alfred Makwabe (204) Uppah Miss ya big! Hildavan (304) to Issack Hussein (404) Ridgeways. Miss ya and luv you so much Sophie Mitto (304) to Marcus Githua (304) It’s been too long. Sophie Mitto (304) to Frank Chonde Sema Frank, long time no see miss ya big tym. Primerose (304) to Nelly – Millan (404) Kathiani Always treasured. Miss you big. CHANGEZ Chris Lebron(404)Caren Maina (404) Tacho Miss da moments we spend 2gether. Deno (204) to Lynn Wambui (204) Huruma Gee Miss you a lot cutie Wambugu (204) to Farida Wacera (204) Karoti galz Gal, I’m missin u a lot. Kiss via the mail, mwaaah!
I LOVE YOU BIG UPS
STATOE Marlynn Dolce (304) to Mwas Patch Luv u hun always knw that. HIGHIE Wallach (404) to Sumira Keina Gyal, u make it all worthwhile nakupenda 2 sana. KITONDO Louis Kev (404) to Purity Wambua (404) I love u than u can imagine ST.PATRICK ITEN Jaymore (304) to Angel Shix (204) Loreto Matunda U r the luv of my life. Eddu Pius (304) to Victoria Gesare (304)
No matter the obstacles in our love, I still cherish you. GIZ HAE Marion (304) to Edith Wambui (304) Gathirimu U fill my heart. TIGGZ BEE Johnie (304) to Terry (304) St. Francis I love u! Eric K.Ragz (304) to Ann Muchai (304) Kagz Gee Love xoxoxo Dominic Kaiguri (304) to Leah Wachira (304) Kiburia Gee The virtue of love aint loving the perfect person perfectly and ur my perfect person. Luv u. George Marley (304) to Ann Maina (404) Bishop Gatimu Luv u! Kevin Tarrus Sovi (304) to Lisa Alaine (304) M.I.A Gals Since I’ve been loving u, everyday has been a wonderful day. RAMSVILLE De-Know (304) to X-Tine (304) Gitwe Luv u. You are 1 in a milli, u really rock my world. Myk-all (304) to Nancy (204) Khaslim Miss u big Ian (304) to Kevlyn (304) Gitwe Luv u. Deynoh (304) to Eliza (404)Kibz Miss u. Chop hard. Rubo (304) to Racheal (304)ML Break the silence. Miss u Dennoh (304) to Fatuma (304) Khaslim Do u still exist? Miss yah Dess (304) to Brenda (204) Kambui Jua bado nakupenda Ramsville 3south to Khaslim 3N Mob luv Kiwendos Seddy to Faith Luv u. REEDZ (THS) Melvin Krespo (204) to Milka (204) Am so lonely without u luv. Melvin Krespo (204) to Jillian Mso (204) U rock my world. STAINSVILLE Darlinton (404) to Mary (404) Kiriari Galz. Baby This luv is unbreakable. Always luv u my gal AQ Samora (404) to Fiona (404) St.Gee I’ve become so numb here, but am feeling you. RII HIGH Ngech (304) to all Muthurwa Gee We luv u chics Ngech (304) to Caro (304) Muthurwa Galz You oxidize ma heart with your candy luv. Chop hrd baby.
SSS Sparks Kenicos (104) to Sylvia (104) Miss u luv WITIZ Kelvo (KAF-Soulja) 404 to Trizah (404) Stormz Will Always be there for you. THIKA HAE Moseti Malon (204) to Mercy Mutinda I’ll never play you baby TISHVILLE Frank (204) to Sylvia (204) Sacred Heart Kyeni Still on ur side. Mob luv Richie (304) to Alice (304) Sacred Heart Kyeni I’ve liked many but loved a few. I’d stand in the world’s longest que in order 2 win u.
FRIENDS FOREVER
KITONDO (KEYX XUL) Kevo(404) to Nelly (104) Mat Gee Hi take care little gal. Willy(204) to Sheila(104) Carmel Galz She who lyks wisdom makes her brother glad Kevo(404) to Asili(204) Kyethivo Gee U really made ma day Tee Jay to Black Wadada Halla MU-HAE Sam(404) to Sylvia(404) Tegz Seeing u is enough to give me a glimpse of true friendship. BUSH GEE Hope(104) to Kui Watheria(104) O.J U ma greatest pal n my life would suck without you. I thank God for you. I miss you remember u ma BFF! DITCHEZ Ian(304) to Riri(304) Statoe I love you .Friends for life RWATHIA GALZ. Tash(304) to Glado(304) Chano Friendship will last 4eva Nataly(304) to Grace(204) G2 Chop hard & I luv u. Ruth(304) to 404’z Texas Friends 4eva 4 those who know me. Ruth(304) to Emily(204) Muthiga Gee Friendship will last 4eva. Esy(304) to Joseph Ndung’u(304) Muhae B I treasure ur friendship Waithech(304) to Bro Peter(104) Njumbi Best bro 4eva.Mob luv ST CATHERENES GIRLS Sinta (304) to O Ovotes wote What are friends for???? KINYUI GIRLS Schola(304) to Nicholas Nzomo (304) Mac Bee 2gether as friends. Chop hard. Anastacia N. (304)to
steve .K. (304) Mat bee The colour of a friend is in you Carol .S. (304) to Agy Musyimi (304) Kitchez Gee You are such a heaven sent friend. Agy Musyimi 9304) to sam (304) kangaroo Bee U will always be my friend forever KANCHEZ BOYZ Bernie (304) to veronicah (304) Gataragwa Gee Friends are meant to be together .Au sio? Kwachua maboys videadly Frank (mo faya,304) to Daisy (304) Naru Gee At first I thot u way my usual friend but of late I have come to treasure you more than that Jere (404) to Wamboe, Shero n’ Esther M.L. (404) Our friendship tie is ever so strong and wireless even when there is no network Peter K. to hellen (404) Mary Immaculate Just friends Davis Ngungi (404) to Habiba Materi (404) The speed of our friendship outdoes bolt in the track Willie K. to Collins Mandela (404) Maseno Palz forever. Chop hard BUTULA BOYZ Oscar E. (304) to Latrix S. (204) S.T. Brigids Gee Not all flowers rep romance but roses do. Not all friends touch my heart the way you do M.Jossy (304) to Dorry (404) Kereri Gee With lovely friends like you I’m da happiest man alive CHEMELIL ACADEMY Mariella 9304) to Mariano,Kevo, Emmano (304) Saintz Yala Friendz for life KINYUI (KITCHEZ GEE) Carol (304) to Meshak Adam (404) Maranda Birds of the same feather flock together Maggy (304) to Winnie .K. (304) Mat Gee Best pal forever Effie (304) to Jonah N.Mwangi(304) K Bee Ma friendship wid u is lyk a ship which will never sink Carol (304) to Vanessa Nambia (204) Huruma Gee Still ma best pal Sophie (304) to SHAM It’s good to have a friend like you MAKUENI GALZ (MAK GEE) Suzani to Mirry, Nicho, Jane, Kenny, Kadaddy, Nduru, k-lo True friendship is a pleasure en should not be taken for leisure. Luv you all. Swit times
The i-Qru and Kasuku reps hit Boma and Saintz to award them with cool Kasuku exercise books for their win at the 2010 CHAT Awards. Boma’s swimming team won Teeniez’ Female Team while Saintz’ rudge team won Teeniez’ Male Team while their Captain David Ambunya won the Teeniez’ Athlete Award. Check out the pix, your skool could be next on the list....
Kasuku rep Nancy congratulates the Boma swim team for winning the CHAT Teeniez’ Female Team of The Year Award
Boma Deputy Mrs.Saina and Skool Captain Gift Opar receive Kasuku exercise books on behalf of their skool
CHAT 2010 Teeniez’ Athlete David Ambunya recieves a cheque worth twenty ngwanyes!
The St. Mary’s rudge old boys take on the young ones in a friendly match
Bomerians look on as Kasuku pimps them with cool Kasuku exrecise books
exercise books on team recieves Kasuku The St. Mary’s rudge behalf of their skool
Saints rudge team show off their Kasuku exercise books
Too hot for T.V.
undercover brotha
Beds That Bite
Hospitality Gone Sour For Jahmu
Kach was the skool where the Jahmu & Ditchez camps participating in the festivals were to be hosted. The Ditchez camp checked in first and were directed to the dorm where they would be staying. When the Jahmu camp checked in they were also shown to the same dorm (probably a case of crossed wires on the Kach admin side). Jahmu cats found the beds had already been made and were probably celebrating Kach’s hospitality until they were asked to move to a different dorm due to the mix-up. So Jahmu dudes were shown to a different dorm area with just beds and mattresses, they then decide to go back to the initial dorm that they had been shown to pick blankets as none were forthcoming from their hosts. When the Ditcherians arrived back to their dorm they immediately noticed the missing blankets and reported the matter to the authorities who traced the missing blankets back to Jahmu cats. Some cops who were on the scene roughed up the cats unlucky enough to have hoped for a little warmth from the blankets, resulting in a broken hand for a certain Mucho 304, a result that the Jahmu admin was not too happy about. Talk about hospitality gone sour!
Most Nai skools being hosted at the fests were also not too happy about their accommodation especially the Reason when they turned in for the night they discovered that beds actually can bite.
Scout’s Honour St. Tee Style
A certain Masii Hae dude received a rude awakening about the etiquette that follows rocking certain uniforms specifically the scout’s one. He was in full scout uniform plus some; he rocked badges that didn’t belong to the movement and wore the beret like Neyo wears his fedoras. He came across a certain St. Tee dude who wasn’t too happy about the obvious lack of respect for the uniform and confronted him about it, but the Masii culprit was unapologetic resulting in the St. Tee scout fanatic calling for back-up from fellow scouts. Outnumbered the Masii cat was stripped of his scout shirt and beret leaving him with just trousers to teach him a lesson.
FYI:This is what a decent scout should look like
Mchongwano
Starch Hit Back! We usually don’t do this but some of y’all have been asking for it.
PANGOE
Y’all just bit the hand that feeds you. Your sorry attempt to get noticed by people other than us you FAILED big time. You can diss us all you want but mnajua there’s no other place you’ll run to except for Starch coz we are the only kind human beings this side of the Sahara who can bear to stand the sight of you. With your not so pretty faces (putting it lightly) and the most boooooooooooooooring vybe, you really shouldn’t feel all that. Kwanza what’s with chics in your school wearing torn socks to funkiez? Na hiyo maneno ya kurecite set books to us to make yourselves look smart is so not cool. Mko down!
PATCH FAKE
Kwani you are the new goons in town? So you think handaring
Pango’s feeble attempt to get noticed
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our 104s for 10 baab is being macho? Get a life and stop pulling stunts to look relevant coz you are not. Ndio mjulikane lazima tuwatukane.
CHANGEZ
Nini shida yenu? Who are you again? So you wanted to start some petty beef with us at a funkie lakini mkashindwa. Hatuna time yenu. Go climb a tree or eat bananas coz that’s your specialty.
ST GEE
Barbie wannabes, since you claim to be such ‘ballerz’ can you buy yourselves class? And please spare us all by losing your fake accents.
BOMA
You chics need a gym in your school. Jeez, lose the fat.
MFA
Is your rudge team a mad scientist experiment?
BACK 2 SCHOOL SHOPPING GUIDE
Fill up your Back 2 School Shopping Cart With These Fantastic Items!
Too hot for T.V.
word play
JOINT: L VE TH WAY YOU LIE ARTIST(S):
(EMIN M) FEAT. RIHANNA
ALBUM: RECOVERY CHORUS
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that’s alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that’s alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can’t tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now there’s a steel knife In my windpipe I can’t breathe But I still fight While I can fight As long as the wrong feels right It’s like I’m in flight High of a love Drunk from the hate It’s like I’m huffing paint And I love it the more that I suffer I suffocate And right before I’m about to drown She resuscitates me She fucking hates me And I love it Wait Where you going I’m leaving you No you ain’t Come back We’re running right back Here we go again It’s so insane Cause when it’s going good It’s going great I’m Superman With the wind in his bag She’s Lois Lane But when it’s bad It’s awful I feel so ashamed
Sept
I snap Who’s that dude I don’t even know his name I laid hands on her I’ll never stoop so low again I guess I don’t know my own strength
CHORUS
You ever love somebody so much You can barely breathe When you’re with them You meet And neither one of you Even know what hit ‘em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah them chills Used to get ‘em Now you’re getting fucking sick Of looking at ‘em You swore you’ve never hit ‘em Never do nothing to hurt ‘em Now you’re in each other’s face Spewing venom And these words When you spit ‘em You push Pull each other’s hair Scratch, claw, bit ‘em Throw ‘em down Pin ‘em So lost in the moments When you’re in ‘em It’s the rage that took over It controls you both So they say it’s best To go your separate ways Guess that they don’t know ya Cause today That was yesterday Yesterday is over It’s a different day Sound like broken records Playin’ over But you promised her Next time you’ll show restraint You don’t get another chance Life is no Nintendo game But you lied again
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Now you get to watch her leave Out the window Guess that’s why they call it window pane
CHORUS
Now I know we said things Did things That we didn’t mean And we fall back Into the same patterns Same routine But your temper’s just as bad As mine is You’re the same as me But when it comes to love You’re just as blinded Baby please come back It wasn’t you Baby it was me Maybe our relationship Isn’t as crazy as it seems Maybe that’s what happens When a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much To walk away though Come inside Pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don’t you hear sincerity In my voice when I talk Told you this is my fault Look me in the eyeball Next time I’m pissed I’ll aim my fist At the dry wall Next time There will be no next time I apologize Even though I know it’s lies I’m tired of the games I just want her back I know I’m a liar If she ever tries to leave again I’mma tie her to the bed And set the house on fire
CHORUS
Musica 2
1
7
12
3
8
9
13
16
14 15
18
al Darts 4
6
5
11
10
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Music Fests Nai Proviez Scene: Jahmu
Musical connections were the trend at the natioz as the jamaaz pulled out all the stunts to impress the chics who basked in all the attention.
1.
Statoe praco to make sure they are in better form than their compe....
2. Their tactic was scaring the judges to win the number one slot 3. His game was so good he was collecting cell phone digits
4.
With soothing
music in the background the darting game kicked off
5.
Lucky dude...
he’s definitely the apple of their eye
19
6. One for all, all for one, Kisumu’s
muskerteers...7. All the lone ranger needed wa his geek swag and a tenje...
8.
They came in flaming hot red to make sure the ladies see
them...9. Choxx were quite the hit...until Naivasha Gee hit the scene
10. Ahero Gee seemed to enjoy the pics more than the darting scene 11. Kagzville lengad the honiez just to pose for our picharazzi 12. “You think you are the only fish in the sea? Nkt!” 13. Uppah was stuck on Statoe honiez like glue
14. Mux Bee were in full swag mode; funky tee check...
shades check...
15. Soma label... 16. FYI: Sengani Gee also have Pin-Pop
addicts17. They were just bursting with energy... 18. Dicherians repping on the scene
19. Whoa! Check out all the trophies that Quabbz bagged!
Popularly known for his charming yet cocky on-screen character Jobu on the hit series Beba Beba Bernard Safari is a budding actor and film maker with a vision for our local film industry. iMC: How did you get into acting? Safari: I studied film making and featured in quite a number of films before getting a part in Beba Beba. After the post election violence the local film scene took quite a blow. I was accompanying my pal to an audition and ended up getting the part because the casting director felt that my image represented the character. (Laughs) I was dressed very casually and listening to music on headphones. iMC: What’s an ordinary day like on the set of Beba Beba? Safari: Crazy stunts because we‘re like family to each other. My on-screen mom is like a real mom to me, plus I’m really tight with Tasha, she’s a female Jobu. iMC: You’re featuring in two popular TV shows at the same time, pretty impressive? Safari: I’m currently in Beba Beba and also have a part in Siri. I enjoy working on both because they offer very different learning experiences for me as an actor. iMC: Trick question; Beba Beba Vs Siri? Safari: (Laughs) They are two very different shows but I’ll tell you this unlike Beba Beba getting the part in Siri took patience and lots of auditions. I went for so many that I even forgot about it, then one day they called me that I’d made it to the last two, finally I got the part. iMC: Are you anything like Jobu? Safari: No. He’s a mommy’s boy, spoilt, rich and selfish whereas I’m pretty laid back and easy going. I love and enjoy simplicity. iMC: What’s your greatest
achievement and best career memory? Safari: I love what I do. It has to be when shooting a BBC series titled ‘Locked Up Abroad’, It was raining and in that scene I had to hold a real gun for the first time. I was shaking the whole time. iMC: You must get a lot of attention from the ladies? Safari: I live my life with simplicity so I accept the attention because it means that they are fans and that they appreciate what I do. I always love to hear what they think about the acting and the show, I call it constructive criticism. iMC: What do you think of the local film industry? Safari: It’s great we’ve made so much progress in the last few years especially in terms of production quality. iMC: What’s the biggest misconception in the industry? Safari: The celebrity aspect, I dislike it because it dilutes the quality of production especially when people aim to be celebs instead of giving it their best. Another misconception is that most people assume that actors aren’t learned. Totally wrong because I know plenty of actors with degrees. iMC: What advice would you give to aspiring actors? Safari: Not everyone can act, so never get into it because of the fame but do it for the passion. Always view auditions as a learning opportunity to improve on your skills because in this industry you will hear the word ‘No’ more than the magic word ‘Yes’. iMC: If you could thank one person who would it be? Safari: My mom, she’s like a big sister to me, she supported me when I chose to study film and venture into acting. iMC: What’s your embarrassing guilty pleasure? Safari: I’m a flirt that’s probably why I’m single. iMC: What do you look for in a chic Beauty or Brains? Safari: Brains definitely but It helps if one is also pretty.
Shirleen Wangari has been dazzling our screens for the last four years in one of TV’s hottest shows. We chatted up Shirleen Wangari to unravel the mystery that is the other side of Shish. iMC: How did you get into acting? Shirleen: After clearing skool I went for auditions at Phoenix and it was actually Ian Mbugua who auditioned me, I got the part and as time went by I got encouraged to try out for TV shows which I did. iMC: Your real name and stage name are quite similar? Shirleen: Yes...shish and Shirleen it’s such a huge coincidence. When auditioning for Tahidi I was trying out for a different character but got casted as Shish who was initially meant to be a minor character. iMC: Were you anything like you’re on-screen character Shish in high school? Shirleen: No! Shish is a snitch, selfish and really shallow because she likes getting into other people’s business. I was in Ma’Hill and quite a quiet chic, kept to myself and my clique of friends most of the time. iMC: What’s the naughtiest mischief Shirleen Wangari got up to in Ma’Hill? Shirleen:This is hilarious. I got chosen by the students to be the entertainment prefect. I was so psyched about it I switched on the TV on a Monday for people to watch. I was fired the next day at a parade, so humiliating. iMC: Is it fun acting as Shish? Shirleen: Yes, I’m always waiting to see what naughty trick she has up her sleeve. Though initially I was a bit nervous because I was afraid that people wouldn’t be able to separate who I am in real life and label me as the ‘bad gal’. To date my biggest challenge is complete strangers assuming that I’m like Shish in real life. iMC: How do you handle that stereotyping, and the fame? Shirleen: It’s part of the job. People often recognize me as I go about my daily life routine but I’m quite polite about it, I try to appreciate the fans as much as I can. iMC: What do you make of all the talk that the initial characters
Shish, O.J, Omosh & Tanya to name but a few are in the process of being written out of the hit series? Shirleen: Personally speaking, I’ve not heard any directive of the sort from the producers for now. However I can understand the curiosity because the truth is we’ll all eventually out-grow the uniform. iMC: Which actor/actress do you look up to and what’s your favourite local show? Shirleen: Beba Beba is my favourite local show and my favourite actors would have to be Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, they are awesome. iMC: Looking back, what advice would you give to your
sixteen year old self? Shirleen: Learn to listen especially when being given advice by people with more experience in life than you do. If I knew this back then I would have done lots of things differently.
Wear a Mens & Kinyw : Jodeci r) ressed By 115 (First Floo D ri fa Sa No. all Stall ia Jamia M 570 ion (Jam 2 y’s Fash wn 0710 55 ressed By: Toda ack Evening Go Bl D bble n ng Shirlee Black Bu ions. Lo CK Fash eels Ksh.2,500, tors Ksh. 4000 Mall) & , Black H in Gladia Ksh.2500 2500, Snake-Sk h. Dress Ks
Too hot for T.V.
feature
The local film and production industry is now pacing up with Nollywood and Bollywood as a train of hot new local soaps and reality shows sizzle our TV screens. The local production boom has resulted in most TV stations joining the bandwaggon unlike past years when only KBC would air the likes of Tausi and the never ending Vitimbi. We are treated to the sweetest taboo of a fresh new level of acting with brilliant and talented new kids on the block from Sunday to Sunday. Check out our best picks from the new shows...
MISS WORLD KENYA
HIGHER LEARNING Drama Friday 8.30 pm NTV
The harsh realities of identity, life and survival usher six young students into adulthood as they pursue their degrees at Kilimanjaro University. From different backgrounds and social beliefs this drama-filled series boasts the most interesting circle of friends. Their motto; it’s either you’re beaten or you arrange for others to be beaten. As the plot thickens we can’t wait to see who stays alive or gets eaten as King (Nick Ndeda) the rebel without a cause learns that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, Jessica (Janet Kirina) the uptight book warm gets to cry, “O.O”-Opiyo Ogutu’s (Joseph Gitau) hustler life and spirits is shattered shagzmondos Reba (Wanja Mworia) jerks up her style, Linah(Marion Wambui) -miss nun’s faith is about to stand the test of time and Aida (Veronica Waceke) as usual doesn’t really give an oink about anyone but her feisty self. There is drama among friends then there’s Higher Learning!
BE THE JUDGE
Reality Citizen TV
Credit is given where it’s due, in this case the concept behind this show. The search for Kenya’s rep to the Miss World International contest saw 24 models battle it out for the Miss World Kenya title. For the first cycle the show was interesting as the contestants were groomed to look, talk and walk the part. It brought out beauty style, grace and suspense. Two thumbs up; cach the re-runs on Sunday afternoons from 4 pm. We can’t wait for the next cycle!
MACHACHARI
Edutainment Monday 8:05pm KTN
This series is highly educative and entertaining thus credit has to be given to the creative minds behind it. The show’s aim is to educate the public on the due process of law through drama and reality as it brings out a more realistic and serious touch to issues, a contrast to the likes of Vioja Mahakamani which is purely for comical relief. The audience is treated to both sides of each case as the prosecution/Ppaintiff and defence question the defendant before a jury made up of citizens who are laymen in law give their verdict on the case.
Comedy Saturday7:30pm Citizen TV
This new comedy series will crack your ribs with laughter as you reminisce your childhood escapades. Machachari also cuts deeply into the extreme social disparity between the rich and the poor with child-like innocence. The ghetto kids get to bond with the barbie kids and the result is a hilarious perspective on life. With such young talent in the cast we definitely are moving a notch higher.
CHANGING TIMES Drama Tuesday 7:35pm KTN
Times are definitely changing with this another wave of good local productions on our local screens. Strained family relationships, tried friendships and romantic relationships, murders, lies & cover ups sum up the intrigues of the Changing Times series. The plot unfolds in an up-market setting and the suspence, drama and intrigue will give you goose bumps. You’ll be at the edge of your seat waiting to see what baddest chic Patricia’s (Joy M. Kendi) and manipulative diva Sherry (Lucy Wiagera) plays her enemies like a game of chess are up to! Question is; will you outgrow high school on Tahidi and tune in to Shelton University which air sat the same time (Tuesday 7:35)?
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THE FASHION SHOW Reality Sunday 5:30pm Citizen TV
If you love fashion and hot trends then you’ll definitely want to book a seat on the couch to catch this show. It offers a Kenyan take on the hottest street fashion trends. The judges add an interesting mix with their frank opinions. You’ll also enjoy the display of various designs paraded by young & up-coming designers.
teentainment at its best.
Teentaiment at its best
Check out whats been happening on the school scene Pg 36-37.......Sniper Pg 38............Woolworths: Fun with bras Pg 39............Boy Talk
SNIPER
Musical Ballin’
scenes of the the KSSSA The Sniper definitely had to hit up Kisumu & Kakamega ictable weather ( Term 2 Games Natioz and Music Festivals. Braving the unpred it was all bright minute one P.M.S through going was more like Mother Nature ). Skools from East, and sunny, the next rain drops like you wouldn’t believe! als before saying them North and South, some with names that needed rehears funkie hubs like bees. two these d swarme out loud (Nyapsenguta, Kaberunga...)
Music Festivals Scene: Kakamega
two-three days, the venue The seven day event set off on a rather low note as the first the scene had more began action real the when but was jam packed with prima kids took a nose dive as drama than an entire season of Gossip Girl. Skool relationships (read Kakamega) stays most skools on the scene upheld the ‘What happens in Vegas Changez, Ditchez, in Kakamega ‘mantra. Flirting was in full gear as the likes of the Westerners turf SSS, Pumu, Starch and AQ to name but a few tried to take over ers however Western the that noted by dominating the darting scene. The Sniper upgraded to Katch while only skools chic Nai to attempt nce domina restricted their vybing the colle chics who were around. by the day choosing to Bush Bee & Kottet seemed to be getting cosier with each other a na msupuu’ ‘ponyok crazy the to s obliviou buses stick to the vicinity of their skool
Even in their stage costumes they still attempted to ‘ponyoka na msup uu’
This Uppah dude took the gam e a notch higher
Sept
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compe between the dudes & dudettes sko ols. Coast kingpins Ta couldn’t handle the la tension resulting in a fist fight with Mac turf. Bee over Even in their stage cos tumes they still attem pted to ‘ponyoka na msupuu’, chics from the Coast wooed po tential catches with traditional dances and their melodious Kiswahili this went so well tha an alliance sprung up t between Mama Ngina and M.F.A. The Sniper couldn’t help but no tice that the Mama Ng ina chics were so sm that they switched to itten speaking English for their new beaus. The compe got so stif f that cats resulted to flexing the weight of wallets to win a catch, their the chics didn’t seem to mind this new cha in ‘ponyoka na msup nge uu’ tactic and went on an ice-cream lick Alvaro drinking spree ing and bila shame. Changer ian z eve defeat and retreated ntually accepted to some good old bo ys time next to their Not so for some cat bus. s who surrendered and changed their focus prima chics on the sce to the ne. Tsk. Tsk.
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Teentaiment at its best
SNIPER The Sniper however had to hand it to the Masii Boys dude who borrowed a leaf from Mexican soaps and burst into tears to prove his deep admiration for his catch. For his originality he definitely ‘ponyokad with the msupuu’ and they strutted around like a pair of smitten love birds. Chogoria Gee however were running around in unfinished blouses and socks suspended with rubber bands, so not cool, The Sniper thinks they aren’t coping too well after Chogoria Bee ditched them. Then there were those who just couldn’t keep their cuddle hormones in check, the cops on the scene busted one such couple in a deep passionate kiss and turned them in to the authorities. Tsk. Tsk. Butere Gee were quite a catch for some
Sports Natioz Scene: Kisumu The Sniper’s most dramatic occurrence has to be the Katch versus St. Marks match. The Katch Boys probably thought that they were making a point by defiantly refusing to continue the match until the officials ruled the case of their abuse in their favour. Pure madness, because they forfeited the game in St. Mark’s favour. The Sniper can’t help but wonder that had they put their pride aside, they would have drawn with St. Mark’s, made it to the finals and probably even won the title. Temper temper, young’uns take it from The Sniper you can’t beat the system. Skools were more into flossing their uniform swag off the pitch than the on pitch activities. The Sniper couldn’t help but notice that darting on this scene was at a minimal due to the presence of Semenya-type-chics, but then again there were those who didn’t seem to mind. Kisumu Gee & Kisumu Bee just had to air their dirty laundry in public for all to see, the K.G chics weren’t too happy with the attention their former beaus were paying the female “guests”. The Sniper nearly died from laughter when he learnt the reason behind these marital problems was K.B not being too impressed by K.G’s performance in last year’s K.C.S.E exams, talk about pride!
Changez dudes retreated to their bus for a game of cards
Off-pitch drama aside the North Eastern skools model type players got a rude shock from the Semenya-type-chics especially the volleyball camp after realizing that chics actually do spike in volleyball. Better luck next year. Until next time The Sniper will be watching...
rhythm When words failed he tried the of the Kayamba
catch... sunglasses for their potential Some cats resorted to buying
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If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill...
Fun With Bras Woolworths recently hit Statoe, St. Gee and Boma for the Bra Campaign. The chics got skooled on choosing the correct type of bra & finding the perfect fit; they also got mentored by Caroline Mutoko and enjoyed some sizzling enta by Size 8 & Kendi. Check out the pix...
Peeps got a chance to ask questions on breast health & bras
Fun Facts: Getting educated on finding the perfect bra fit
St.Gee honiez also got a mentorship talk from Caroline Mutoko
Q&A Time: check out
s yell pick me pick me
all the St.Gee choppie
Bra Measurement Booth: Getting measured at Boma
Caroline Mutoko awards a St.Gee honie with a Woolworth’s gift voucher worth 2,500 baab
All the winners at Boma also recieved Woolworths shopping vouchers worth a cool 2,500 baab
Statoe honiez lining up to get measured
They also got
a chanc
e to che
ck out th
e differe
nt types
Statoe honiez enjoying the sizzling enta by Size 8 & Kendi of bras
More Enta: Shakie leggie at Boma
Teentaiment at its best
BOY talk
She’s Out of My League Biggie
Niaje Biggie I met this really cool and sexy chic from Riara during SPA fest and she got me totally whipped. I can’t stop thinking about her and her radiant smile flashes in my mind all the time. We spoke for a little while and she gave me her number but seriously dude I don’t see myself hacking it. She is such a barbie and probably wouldn’t want anything to do with a ghetto boy like me. This has made me chicken out about calling her up. I really like her so please advise me. Collo Texas 204
Am I Gay?
Hi Collo, Confidence is the key. In life natural feelings of affection don’t care if the object of your affections is ghetto or a barbie. This chic would never have given you her number if she didn’t think that you were somebody she would like to know better. We all come from different backgrounds and there is no rule that states that if you have grew up in
Walapa Daniel, You sound like you’re having an identity crisis. Having girl-like behaviors does not necessarily qualify you to be gay. Being gay is not only about our behaviors but is about how one feels emotionally, physically, psychologically and romantically about people of the same sex. Putting on make-up and doing your nails can just be a lifestyle you have adopted and not a sign of your sexual orientation.
‘Ssup Biggie, I think I might be gay. I like hanging around chics a lot and find their vybe more interesting than jamaaz. In addition to watching chic flicks and soaps, I also do my nails and put on some light make-up; face powder and lip balm. My boys have deserted me calling me a farg. I wasn’t like this and I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Could it be true? Daniel 204
“Get over you inferiority complex and call her up it may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship” the suburbs you must hung out with people from the same place. You are responsible for you own self esteem, and that will go milestones in dealing with many more issues that you may undergo in life. Get over your inferiority complex and call her up it may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. However, it is important to evaluate yourself and get to know if you are ready for the relationship and of what value will the relationship be to you. Biggie
Sept
Most young people go through similar experiences because it’s the period when the body is developing, they are also trying to discover who they are and where they belong. There is nothing wrong with that and what you need to do is to explore and give yourself some time. As you grow older and wiser you’ll be in a position to know exactly who you are. Bro, you can’t force people to be your friends, true friends accept you the way you are without judging you. And if you feel comfortable among chics is still okay to have them as your friends. Be yourself.
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Anger Management Issues Niaje Biggie, I’m 16 years old and I don’t know how to control my anger. I get so angry and loose my temper at the slightest and dumbest things which usually ends in fist fights. When I was in prima I was in and out of school due to suspensions after my never ending fights with other pupils. My mom took me for counseling to help me control my anger which kinda helped but now that I am in high School, you know how it’s tough surviving in school with guys stepping on your toes every now and then, my problem has worsened and I have gotten into so many fights that I’m on the verge of being expelled from school. I really need help. Pato 304 GB Hey Pato, Your inability to control how you react to different situations has caused you a lot of trouble in skool and possibly, it has affected your skool work but I appreciate the fact that you’ve accepted that you have a problem; this means that you’re ready to work on this problem. The journey inwards is the longest journey one will ever walk. Ask yourself why are you angry, why do you react the way you do? Does fighting offer you a sense of control and dominance over others? You may really be insecure about how others view you and fighting helps you to cope. Next time you feel yourself about to lose control as hard as it may be, try to cool down first, walk away if you must. Later you can address the issue by talking it through soberly not fist fights that way you will have composed yourself and thought about best way to handle the situation. Remember it is not an instant coffee thing, but it will happen slowly. Pato accept that it’s a gradual process which needs a lot of determination. Seek guidance and support from people that you trust. Do not forget to get a way of continuing with your education which is important for your life. Yours Biggie
WHAT EVERY GAL NEEDS
Pink Diary: Find out what the Galz are up to Pg 42..........Fun Quiz Pg 43..........Street Style Pg 44..........Quabbz Teen Hero
HOROSCOPES
Radiate You Inner Glow Virgo! as long as you maintain a focused and positive mind.
Scorpio (October 23November 21) Don’t get discouraged by people’s failures. There may be potential road-blocks ahead, but you have the inner drive to accomplish this term’s work.
September 12th Jua Cali
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Sagittarius (November 22December 21) This may not be the most light-hearted and jovial month, but one must always take the good with
Things will be going your
the bad. Don’t get thrown
way this month. Feel
off your path.
Capricorn (December 22January 19)
March 20)
and supportive. Friends
you like to dream, but
will come to you for
Careful planning and
remember there comes
advice.
prioritizing will help a lot
a time when you must
in the beginning of this
face reality. Take time to
Leo (July 23August 22)
new term, but there will
analyze situations.
You’ll be confident, warm,
that will challenge your
Aries (March 21-April 19)
patience.
Your romantic life will be
outlook and be inspired to
full of affection and you’ll
be active and creative.
be frustrating situations
Aquarius (January 20February 18) Party time is over, if you
thus you’ll have a positive
a loved one however be careful not to be derailed.
Taurus (April 20 May 20)
the grindstone and make
You’ll experience
some major progress on
frustration when trying to
your academics.
state your views around
Pieces (February 19-
and charming this month
get lots of attention from
bad. Put your nose to
didn’t enjoy the holz too
but get in touch with your sensitive, nurturing side, and you’ll find bliss.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
confident about yourself and your decisions. Let your inner glow radiate
Get advice from a family
outward and feel your
member on how to
power from within.
implement a savings
Libra (September 23October 22)
program and save your pocket money. Discipline is the key factor.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
This month will prove to others that you mean what you say. You’ll be able to accomplish quite a bit
you’ll strive to be helpful
It’s obvious how much
September 4th, Beyonce
Your natural abilities will be evident to others and
August 29th Ruhilla Adatia
What every gal needs
Sept
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What every gal needs
fun quiz
What’s Your Study Personality? Go on discover yourself. Find out by taking our quiz... START When you read during preps…
You take notes and highlight the text
You read. What else is there?
You start working on your group project :
A week before it’s due
Midnight before it’s due
What do you normally do in the comp lab?
Look up for useful information
A
Funkieholic
Library Lock Down
Go to the funkie without thinking twice
Study extra hard to compensate or just lenga it.
A good resource when you need to do research
B
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You don’t even know where it is
Checked Out Chic
When was the last time you opened a book? Probably not recently and your grades reflect this. Your social life is on point but your skool work is suffering. A good education is vital. Find ways to help you study try joining a study group and signing up for private tuition.
42
Reviewing notes for the millionth time
Holiday tuition means:
A nightmare to be avoided at all costs
More opportunities to learn
During parents day:
The library is:
Your hard work and tenacity will take you far. You are the ultimate bookworm and your peers admire and envy your study skills. You’re the Pride of your T.As and paroez. Watch out for becoming too rigid otherwise you’ll miss out on all the excitement of skool. Let down your hair and join a club outside your comfort zone. It’ll do you good.
Sept
Sleeping soundly
The hottest funkie is on the day before your CAT you:
At the CHAT awards, you’d pick up an award for
Student of the year
Facebook or play games
At 3.a.m the night before the big exam you’re:
You dread every moment of it
C
You can’t wait to show your mum your performance sheet
Hands On
You have mastered the ability to balance work and play. You know when to step it up and when to chill out. You got the best of both worlds. It’s no wonder everyone envies your social calendar and your academic ranking.
Sneakin’ Around Shoe Heaven Bright, comfy & oh-so-hip! Sneakers are definitely at the top of our footwear trend list, the best part is there’s something for everyone. A simple color like black goes with everything. You can try leaving the tongue of your shoe out with the shoestrings untied. If you’re old skool stick with the classics, basic, low-cut lace-up without any glitz
Colour is all rage, so try bright red, royal purple and even yellows for that extra edge. sneakers..
Don’t wear a different color shoe laces, especially if the shoe is all black and the shoes laces are white that style went out years ago.
Plaid patter sneakrs are a hot fashion accesory. Everything plaid rocks!
WEAR THEM RIGHT! Whether they’re high or low, sneakers are classic, and you can’t go wrong with a black or white pair. When rocking coloured sneakers it’s best to buy a matching shirt.
FOR HER Wear low-top sneakers with dresses, skirts because as they avoid the dreaded “cankle” effect that high-tops may cause.
FOR HIM & HER Shoving your foot into a sneaker without socks can turn things into a sweaty mess that’s why socks and sneakers. seem like a match made in heaven. Visible ankle socks, are a turn off. Always uphold the
Hi-Top lace-up heeled sneakers are not for the faint hearted this look requires confidence and works well with knee-length socks and short skirts.
invisible sock rule.
High-tops are great with skinny jeans (tuck the ends into the tops of your sneakers) because they further accentuate the long, slim cut of your pants. Skinny jeans or black jeans look really nice. Always make sure that your sneakers blend well with the jeans, shirts and jackets you’re wearing
Quabbz Academic & Sports Star The Johnson & Johnson crew’s second stop on the Teen Hero skools tour was Quabbz. This time the goal was to search for Quabbz’ ultimate Academic & Sports Star. Each category fielded nine nominees with only one title. The chics were taken through a Q&A session to campaign for votes and later the entire skool voted for their best candidate. Check out the pix...
The youngest anchor in Kenya Miss Edith Kimani was on the scene to offer some inspirational words of wisdom
Kendi hakuwa na wasi wasi that she could hold her own
Johnson lounge area Entertainment at the Jonson &
Quabbz honiez hanging out with Tahidi High star Sarah Hassan
The moment of truth as Quabberains vote for their academic & sports star
Quabbz Academic Star Vanessa Waite (304) holds up her cool i-pod
She won a cool o.b. back pack
Academic star contestants show off their loot
Quabbz Sports Star Stella Makotsi (304) holds up her cool i-pod
on getting down Real life star Size 8 got skooled Quabberian style
Contestants going through the Q&A session to campaign for the Academic & Sports star title
Sports Star contestants show off their loot
Shangwe na hoi hoi as Quabbz celebrate their Academic & Sports Star
Spin the wheel , teren teren will she win ? Will she lose...
What every gal needs
GAL TALK
I Want To Be Popular Hi Big Siz, There’s a class of gals in my skool who are really beautiful, rich, popular and chill with the hottest dudes at funkiez. For two years now I’ve badly wanted to join their clique, I buy for them gifts, help them with their home work, cleaning of clothes and even their skool duties but they still won’t be friends with me. I feel so frustrated coz they never appreciate me. I want to be their friend or be like them. I really hate my social status in school! Ashley Compuera 204
Dear Ashley, It’s not easy when you try to fit in and end up feeling like you don’t belong. It’s pretty clear that despite your efforts this clique of chics that you want to be best pals with don’t have the same feeling towards you. Sweetie, friendship is not bought, so cleaning their clothes and doing their homework does not guarantee friendship. True friendship is based on mutual understanding, respect honesty and acceptance. You want to be like them now but with time you’ll realize what a unique and kind person you are so maybe they should aim to be a little bit more like you. Appreciate and accept who you are because until you do, you won’t have any real friends who respect and care about you genuinely. Here’s a little tip try hanging out with chics with whom you have the same interests, share the same background that way you’ll not be insecure about yourself and you’ll be well on your way towards making life long pals. Big Siz
In Love With My Pal’s Boyfie
Big Siz, I feel like the worst person on earth but I can’t help it. I’m in love with my pal’s boyfie. She introduced me to him last holz and since then, I’ve been smitten. My pal is in a boarding skool but her boyfie and I are both in day skools. We get to see each other often as we live in the same esto. Lately, we’ve been getting along really well and I think he might also be falling for me. I really want him for myself.
Sept
Nifanye? Xstine (304) Kianda
Hello Xtine, So you’re attracted to your pal’s boyfriend, we don’t choose who we are attracted to but we do have a choice whether to act on those feelings or not. So ask yourself, what are the consequences if you decide to act upon those feelings? Is it worth losing your friendship with your pal over what may actually turn out to be a crush? Think about it, how would you feel if your pal did the same to you? On the other hand, if you decide not to act on your feelings, will you be jealous of your friend and will this affect your friendship with her? Try taking some time away from this the guy for a while that way you will know whether you really have genuine feelings for him or if it’s just infatuation.
not always have the true facts that’s why I’m glad that you decided to seek support before engaging into sex, it shows that you care about your life. It sounds that you and your boyfriend have talked about this huge step and agreed to have sex. It may seem like the best choice but ask yourself: 1. How well do I know my partner? 2. Am I ready to have sex? 3. Why do I want to have sex? 4. Do I understand what it means to have sex? Am I ready for all the responsibilities that come with one having sex? If you can answer each of these questions comfortably; then maybe you are ready, however if you feel you still have some lingering doubts, give yourself time because once it’s done you can never go back. A condom is a protective measure, which protects one from HIV, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted/ unplanned pregnancies. A
“True friendship is based on mutual understanding, respect honesty and acceptance.” Whichever choice you choose, make sure it is the right one. Always, Big Siz
Should We Use A Condom?
Dear Big Siz, My boyfie and I have been together for a while now and we’ve decided to seal our relationship by making love. We are both virgins and we trust each other. My pal advised me not to use a condom as it’s my first time. She says it’ll hurt. I’m not sure if it’s true? Should we use a condom? Anonymous (404) Umoja Hello there, The decision to have sex is a huge step and it’s natural to ask for advice from your friends based on their experiences. Thing is, friends may
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condom doesn’t hurt and it is made of a thin latex material that doesn’t interfere with inner walls of the vagina. During the first sexual intercourse experience many people experience pain, not because of a condom but because your body has not had such an experience before. Penetration by a penis can be painful; however with physical and psychological readiness, the pain can be reduced. If you don’t know your own HIV & sexually transmitted infections status or your partners visit a VCT centre and get to know your status. If you aren’t ready to be pregnant then a condom can offer you protection. Small siz, abstinence is the surest way to protect yourself from HIV, STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Yours truly, Big Siz
What every gal needs
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Insyder’s University College Notice Board
Tel: 020 219063 Cell: 0770 325926, 0734 223678, 0726 Fax: 020 318276 Email: carol@theinsyder.com
Sept
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JAHMU SPARTANS & UPPER SUPERMEN
In Action
SCANDAL-O-METER
Bush Gee, Njiris & Nembu
DRiZZY The Best You’ve Never Heard
The ay Holid Issue
What every gal needs
GAL POWER
I’m Losing My Mom I lost my dad five years ago, being an only child my mum and I have grown so tight and closer than before. My problem is that she started seeing another man and nowadays all the attention goes to this man. She is hardly home to bond with me or listen to my problems and worries. I’m scared I’ m losing my best friend and mum to this man especially now that she is planning on getting re-married. I hate this! Shirley (204) K.G
Charlene Maina (304) Boma Sit your mum down and talk about her neglecting you. I think she just needed someone who would love her like a woman and when she found one, all her attention got diverted towards him so remind her that you still exist and need her just as much.
Cynthia Wanjiru (204) Quabbz Take a step towards knowing your new dad-to-be. Bond with him, kindly approach him and explain to him your situation I’m sure he will listen. Then later meet the three of you and be a family.
GAL POWER TIP OF THE MONTH
Try to remember that our parents are individuals and just like us they also deserve to be happy. The fact that you’re mom has decided to move on does not mean that she will love you any less or that she has forgotten your dad. Talk to her for re-assurance in this huge change in your lives and everything will work out!
Shanice Nduta (304) Batian Christian School Your mum is very wrong for placing a man before you. Have a heart to heart with her and be open about the way you feel. If it doesn’t work then request for the three of you to meet, talk and get more comfortable with the new change in your lives. If it still doesn’t work, tactfully plan a breakup!
Rose Njeri (304) Steph Joy Academy Talk to a mentor or a close pal who you will understand your problem. If you can’t approach your mom talk to a close pal of hers and ask them to speak to your mum about your concerns.
Do you have any pressing issues to you want advice on from people who can relate to what you’re going through? Well just send in your questions and let the Fay Confidence Teen Panel give you a helping hand to solve your problems.Write to us by filling in the your details and attach this entry form. Send it to P.O Box 51634, 00200, Nairobi Name...............................................School................................. Age..........................Mobile No.................................................... E-mail.........................................................................................