Volume 39 | Issue 1 | 2020-20201

ar t + literature + culture

The Discomforting Issue

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DEAR READER, The collaborative clacking of keyboards. The chattering of brainstorming sessions. The flipping of freshly printed pages. These were the sounds that would burst out of a bustling office located in Tivoli 313—an office that has now been deserted since March of 2020. Those noises that were once the heartbeat of the Met Media office now resound from a distant past.

These days, another type of noise has found its way into our lives. We have been surrounded by hashtags and headlines regarding social unrest along with the “terrible threes”—a global pandemic, a polarizing election cycle, and an uncertain economy. These divisions have caused us to be farther apart yet closer together than ever before. Behind cotton masks, television screens, and news articles, the world has been holding its breath as tensions continue to rise.

A similar growing tension appears in Spike Lee’s 1989 film, Do the Right Thing. The story takes place on a single block in Bed-Stuy, New York on the hottest day of the year. Throughout the movie, it feels as though this neighborhood is wrapped in clingfilm, which tightens and tightens until a character is needlessly suffocated to death. Both audience and characters are left in a static state.

Julia Nguyen Editor-in-Chief

Olivia Ruffe Managing Editor

At Metrosphere, we have come to acknowledge that the world can be a discomforting place, but perhaps that’s not anything new. The relevance of this 31-year-old film to our current situation has inspired the very issue of Metrosphere you hold in your hands.

Hence, we have decided to make the first issue of the 39th volume a space where creative exploration and analytical thinking are encouraged to develop an understanding of what “discomforting” means. We are caught between loss and hope, meaning creativity has not only become our escape but also our most articulate voice.

From bitter black coffee and privacy violations to tattoos and feelings of isolation, this edition of the magazine is meant to cover the different topics our community finds discomforting. However, we hope that by exploring these matters, you will find comfort.

Lastly, we would like to thank everyone who made this first issue of Metrosphere possible. To the people who inspired it, to the people who supported it, and to the people who created it—thank you.

Remember to be brave.

Remember to create.

Anniston Craddock Creative Director

METROSPHERE

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ACT ONE: DIS

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ACT ONE

ACT TWO

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I Am America

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Through the Fog

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Unstable Daydreaming

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Roll Call

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Roses Without Words

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A Writer’s Pursuit

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Hard Pills to Swallow

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I Am Serene

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Alone in the Hall

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A Permanent Rose

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Click to View Progress

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Uncomfortably Comfortable

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Reopening Schools in Colorado

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Dope Decals

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Church on Grapes

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Vices

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I Feel Lost

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Mourning Sun

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Long, Long Distance

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Face the Music

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Quarantine Communication Style

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De Colores de GG

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Wham Bam Hateful Slams

84 Treat Your Shelf

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Coffee and a Blueberry Scone

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Think Piece

Awarded Art Submission

Awarded Writing Submission

Social Media Prompt

Horror Fiction

Writing Submission

Interview

Art Submission

Photo Essay

Art Submission

Quiz

Social Media Prompt

Poetry

Poetry Social Media Prompt

Interview

Awarded Art Submission

Photo Essay

Awarded Writing Submission

Social Media Prompt

Art Submission

Short Memoir

Music Recommendations

Art Submission

Reading Recommendations

Pizza Puns

Social Media Prompt

ACT THREE 90

Willow Pill

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Art Submission

Matthew 7:24 - 27

Awarded Writing Submission

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Atria

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Living Through Changes

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Intersections

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Understanding Anxiety

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Open Hearted Presence

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The Sun Does Shine

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Dis-Comfort

Opinion

Photo Essay

Interview

Printed by

Art Submission

P.O. Box 173362, CB67 Denver, CO 80217-3362

Book Review

Art Submission

Women, Life, and Freedom

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Soldiers

Alicia Smith, Jose Morales, Melissa Camp, Pablo Cardoza, Adrienne White, Abraham Mejia Ramirez, Natalie Gove, Alex Fraser, Reinna Florez, Vanessa Silver, Shady Balcom, Katelyn Odenheimer, ZoĂŤ Downing, Tessa Kauffman, and Allison Nicolosi-Risinger

Art Submission

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SUBMITIONS BY

Profile

Awarded Art Submission

Š2020. All Rights Reserved No part of this publication may be used or reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission of Met Media, except in the context of reviews.

The opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of the University and/or members of the University.

Photo by Jonathan Hidalogo

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I AM AMERICA, LIGHT COMES OUT AS I BURN Charles Schwaebe Think Piece

The story of 2020 has also become one defined by protests, riots, and racial tensions in the face of continued police brutality. Here in Denver, we have seen a historic sustained presence by protest groups met 10

by increasing numbers of counter protesters. Since March, I have personally seen a number of nights that bore an eerie resemblance to the riot depicted

by Lee. Online, these experiences can be found mirrored in nearly every major city in the United States. All around the country, we are experiencing an uprising. For many, this year has been the first time we have seen a riot in person. What we are learning is that riots can ignite from the systemic tensions of everyday life.

“a story which has been repeating itself ad nauseum for the entirety of American history” This is not far removed from the plot of Do the Right Thing. We follow Mookie, a young black man played by Lee himself, as he goes about a normal workday at Sal’s Famous Pizzeria in Bed-Stuy, New York on the hottest day of the summer.

As we follow Mookie, we explore racial tensions throughout the neighborhood.

Photos provided by Charles Schwaebe

People love stories. American culture, in particular, is defined by wondrous tales of heroism, bravery, and justice. The outlaw cowboy motif that flavors our most well-known tales has always been a personal favorite of mine. However, we often smear the ugly details of our favorite figures in order to better fit them into the molds formed by the stories we hold so dear. As a result, it is a rare occurrence when an American film directly confronts something as unflattering as the issue of racial tension. In 1989, three years before the infamous Rodney King Riots in Los Angeles, Spike Lee wrote, directed, and starred in Do the Right Thing, a film about an urban riot that erupts in the wake of the murder of an unarmed Black man by police officers, a story which has been repeating itself ad nauseum for the entirety of American history. In both fiction and reality, it takes extreme circumstances that evoke emotions beyond discomfort for others to take notice.

ACT ONE: DIS As the day progresses, Mookie’s friend Buggin’ Out attempts to boycott Sal’s Famous due to the lack of Black celebrities on the Wall of Fame inside. Unfortunately, the neighborhood is indifferent to his call to action.

In both Lee’s film and in 2020, the grief experienced by a community acts as the catalyst for an uprising against authority. In the words of MSU Denver student and local protest organizer named Iris Butler, [Protesting] is important now because of all that is happening.

[Protests] have always been there, but now we have everyone’s attention, and there’s no excuse not to go out and support.

The climax of the film comes after Radio Raheem, another friend of Mookie’s and

a staple of the neighborhood, is choked to death by a police officer outside the restaurant following a fistfight between him and Sal. After witnessing this act, Mookie picks up a trashcan and hurls it through the window of Sal’s Famous Pizzeria. As he does so, he yells the word “hate.” This calls back to a monologue given earlier in the film by Radio Raheem, adapted from James Agee’s Night of the Hunter: Hate—it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love—these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man.

Mookie chooses the hand of hate in the face of oppression. This decision by Mookie calls forth the conflict between two major schools of Black activist thought, represented in the

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METROSPHERE film by Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. As political conflict reaches a fever pitch this year, this dichotomy only becomes more eminent. Local organizers, like Butler, have so far relied on the Hand of Love when organizing their protests, but this is often negated by a heavy-handed law enforcement response. The film never answers the question that permeates the narrative, and it’s left ambiguous to invite discussion. The film leaves us wondering, as Lee intended, “How do you do the right thing in a world that’s wrong?”

Mookie spends almost the entirety of the film trying to answer this question as he drifts through the story in an apathetic, complacent haze, only moved to affect the plot when the community stands outside the pizzeria in the climax. His decision to pick up the trash can is the most important decision made by any character in the film and is functionally the only decision that Mookie makes.

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“how do you do the right thing in a world that’s wrong?”

The film Do The Right Thing concludes with two opposing quotes from both MLK and Malcolm X, yet it’s final shot rests on an image of the two shaking hands. This shot perhaps best defines the film’s message. Sometimes, any action is the right action. To “Fight the Power,” as the film’s theme song by Public Enemy asserts, different philosophies must come together for one single cause. The title of the film itself begs the viewer to ask if Mookie did indeed do the right thing during the climax. To this day, some still insist that the film is a call to violence, but as Pulitzer Prize winning film critic Roger Ebert has said of the film, “Those who found this film an incitement to violence are saying much about themselves and nothing useful about the movie.”

White audiences can generally identify with both Mookie and Sal up until the riot. Mookie is a relatively blank character that allows the audience to project themselves onto him. Sal begins as empathetic and personable, and he doesn’t see himself as a racist. By the end, white audience members who identified with him are forced to reflect upon their own self-perception as non-racists.

Suddenly, in the span of a few minutes, both characters end up on uncomfortably opposing sides of a violent tragedy.

Lee’s work makes us question what causes riots, a question more people are being forced to ask themselves each day. The film presents a predominantly

ACT ONE: DIS

Black neighborhood, yet no Black member of the community holds any power.

The police are white, the grocery store owners are Korean, and the pizzeria is run by Italians. As a result, the Black characters act out against the power in small ways. They spray a rich man’s car who attempts to drive through their neighborhood, Radio Raheem blasts his music, and Buggin’ Out demands Black faces be put on the Wall of Fame—all as representations of a release of resentment. Without power, the community can’t address systemic issues.

There is no wholesome, convenient reason that ties the story up with

a neat, ideological bow. Mookie’s destructiveness is simply an act of grief and repressed anger. “Motherfuck a window, Radio Raheem is dead,” as he concisely relays at the end of the story. The film doesn’t end with Mookie’s “revenge,” however. It ends on an uneasy note in the ruins of the pizzeria the next morning. “They say it’s even gonna get hotter today,” Sal tells Mookie. “What are you going to do with yourself?” This is a question that rings through my mind every time I go out to cover protests. A riot itself is not a cathartic experience.

The morning after a riot, there is no closure. There is only trash and the sickly sting of leftover teargas.

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METROSPHERE Protests and the riots that gestate within them under certain circumstances are an act of grief. The future isn’t exactly bright for Mookie at the end of the film. He is the one who is worse off—not Sal. Sal has insurance. Mookie has 500 dollars, plucked from the rubble of his place of employment, granted by the power he just resisted. We have watched the temperature continue to rise, and in 2020 the story of Radio Raheem has become a regular headline.

The only difference is in the increasingly militarized response from law enforcement. When America burns, the light cast from the fire illuminates

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those who had been hidden. Activists, like Butler, continue to answer Lee’s question “How do you do the right thing in a world that’s wrong?” with a committed presence at the demonstrations that occur with regularity in our city. Anniversaries continue to pile up more and more each year.

Soon George Floyd will be a name chanted at the protests for another unarmed Black person who lost their life at the hands of law enforcement officers. Tomorrow will be hotter than ever before.

What are we going to do with ourselves?

ACT ONE: DIS

UNSTABLE DAYDREAMING Alicia Smith Awarded Art Submission

“I enjoy painting women in their natural beauty and bringing focus to things society believes should not be seen, such as stretch marks and stomach rolls. Another influence for my art is my psychology background. I enjoy incorporating various mental disorders and illnesses within my work to portray what it is like living with various illnesses. A future project of mine is to interview an individual with a serious mental illness and portray that in my artwork. I believe it is important to tell a story through my art, as it can help people better understand real issues and concerns of the world. Recently, I have started experimenting with illustrations and creating portraits for people. This is a way that I can use my art to help people appreciate being an artist as a way of income, as many people view artists as being poor. I plan to create art for the rest of my life, continuing to develop my skills and confidence, as a means of expressing my voice as well as blessing and inspiring others.�

IG: @aliciasmith.art

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METROSPHERE

ROSES WITHOUT WORDS Jose Morales Awarded Writing Submission INTRO: The worst day of my life was my first day of school in another country, where they have a different culture and language. I remember my frustration that day. I couldn’t communicate. I couldn’t say anything, share with, or understand others. I was like a plant, alive but unable to speak.

He estado caminando lejos de casa Y nadie me acompañaba No pude gritar cuando los monstruos me encontraron En la orilla de la montaña me acorralaron y me amenazaron Con falsas burlas me aterrorizaron La soledad se convirtió en mi mejor compañera Siempre me alcanzaba aunque corriera Ella me susurro cosas imposibles de contar difícil de olvidar Y facil de recordar Unos cuantos nuevos amigos me tocaron Y me salvaron el corazón Una fuerte familia me revivió No puedes imaginar el dolor detrás de una persona Aunque sigo sonriendo v La historia difícil de borrar Inalcanzable al tocar Recuerda que se toca con delicadeza Las palabras hieren más Que la espinas de una rosa.

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Illustration provided by Diana Payan

No significa que no esté sufriendo

ACT ONE: DIS

I have been running hundreds of miles away from home feeling all alone I couldn’t scream when the monsters found me On the corner of a mountain Loneliness became my best companion Giant like a canyon She whispered to me Things that I’m not supposed to think Or feel Some new good friends no need of names Saved me And a strong family caught me Before going down in flames Memories are roots hard to die Is not water in its petals But tears We never know how much pain is behind someone You can touch But be careful with the thorns Roses don’t have words END: An immigrant faces more than language barriers. The cultural challenges like adaptation, victims of discrimination, isolation, and loneliness are dangerous components for the damage on emotional and mental health.

Immigrants: We are survivors of unspeakable battles.

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METROSPHERE

HARD PILLS TO SWALLOW

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ALONE IN THE HALL Angel Rivera Horror Fiction Light folds itself in and out of the metal door frames of the elevator as I ascend to the top. The elevator opens to the floor–Floor 14. The cold familiarity of the blink, blink, blinking hallway lights beckon me towards the sixth door on the left—my apartment. As I hurry slowly towards the end of the hall, the lights blink off. “Just my luck.” The deep black in the hallway fills my cornea, handicapping me until I can enter my apartment. I walk with my left arm elevated on the wall, feeling the numbers on each door: 1401, 1403, 14..? As I stop, my stomach drops from a foul scent which tears at the back of my nostrils.

The vast darkness has not only blinded me, but improved my other four senses to a degree of hyper-sentience.

The air around me is marinated with the scattered scents of pennies, zinc, and the sour edges of spoiled puss milk. I feel a moist pulse beneath the sole of my boot. I slowly and gracefully tiptoe for my life in this black stained hallway looking for the familiar “1411.” With reckless caution, I creep past “1405.” My bones rattle from my ankles to my collarbones as I hear shallow breathing between my knees. I dare not reach out and touch as the tangibility of my situation is still within my sanity’s grasp. I ignore the breathing and trudge through the hallway towards my apartment; only the safe haven of my own abode can relieve me of this gruesome feeling twisting my guts up into my lungs.

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My steps become increasingly dragged as I try not to make too much noise. I shift through the hallway. My dusty steps continue shhhhiiifting, shiiifting, and... squelch! A tingling sensation ruffles up my spin and to my cranium. “I just stepped in cat shit?” Lifting my foot up, I grab my ankle in disgust as the murky darkness leaves my messy sole to the imagination. I halt at the thought of getting anything on my hands before I reach my apartment.

As I waddle quickly toward what I believe is the end of my journey, the wall begins slowly melding from the comforting aqua chipped drywall to some sort of concoction of minced corn beef and clotted pubic hair. My nostrils flare as I am able to fully grasp where the thick pungent smell from earlier was coming from. THE WALL. Entirely sure of my senses begging me not to, I am coaxed by its palpitating meat. I am reaching to pet this uncanny fiend.

Congealed hair brushes past my hand as I feel the eerily pleasing moist groves of the wall. Before I can take my hand back, I feel my palm latching and melding to the wall. Noxious ulcers begin to slink up my arm, consuming me into its lesions. Elbow deep into the wall I pull, yank, and pant for my life; but before I am able to cry for help I feel it… Clack, clack, clack, clack, crunch! My fingers, wrist, and arm break into one another and into the other warm meats of the wall. My bones and nerves begin to scrape and knot into one another, conjoining deeper and deeper into the wall; I can only writhe in soft agony.

ACT ONE: DIS

I unhinge my jaw to let out a bellowing screech that has wanted to escape my body since the day I was shoveled out of the uterus. Prior to the sound escaping the airways of my lungs, my teeth begin to split and collapse from my mouth. Organs begin to escape from my throat. My liver, spleen, kidneys, and colon pour out from my mouth in a rich cocktail of human remains from inside their original vessel. My eyes begin to puff with blood and grey matter, and the leakage begins to steadily pour from my ears, nose, and eyes, dripping the taste of my own knowledge onto the tip of my blood-steeped tongue. Free from its socket, my eye swings to and fro, mimicking the pendulum of eternity. Closing in primal disgust, I become one with the wall.

Photo provided by Alex Ertel

My eyes open to the flickering of the hallway lights and ghastly aquamarine paint. “What the hell?” My eyes dart to and fro. “Was that all just a?” Running my hands on my face through my hair, the comfort of my uniform body sends a chill of relief through me. As I reach the back of my head I feel... I feel a tooth, an incisor. I bring the tooth towards my face to carefully inspect it. Looking over the porous surface a slight grumble echoes from down the hall. Jerking myself up with quickness, I turn at the end of the hall and toward “1411.” A relief. I made it. I rustle my keys out of my front-left pocket and jam one into the lock. Before I can turn the latch, I hear it again. The grumble. Only this time from the other side of the door. The door creeks slightly as I enter my home.

All that I await is the darkness looming to swallow me and... a smell?

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CLICK TO VIEW PROGRESS Melissa Camp Writing Submission

A class at MSU Denver, “The Rhetoric of Social Media,” made me alarmed at the trust we put in social networks to protect our data and privacy while those networks sell our data to advertisers and use it internally to target our attention. The history of social media and tech giants like Facebook and Google has closely paralleled the rise of partisanship and mutual distrust of US citizens across political aisles as well.

Facebook is bad for journalism. When Craigslist became popular, it diverted millions of dollars in ad revenue that had been going to local news outlets and began to pull the feet out from established journalism at a rapid rate. Now that a lot of us get our news from content posted on Facebook and Twitter, the medium of the newspaper is further crippled and with it, practical oversight of local and state government decisions.

Facebook worked against #BlackLivesMatter by excluding the phrase from internal tagging mechanisms and actively discriminated against Black 24

users by showing them fewer housing ads for years. Facebook has also refused to intervene in untrue and hateful rhetoric found in abundance on its platform. In fact, because more user engagement translates to higher ad revenue, Facebook’s business model harnesses provocative speech to grow attention and extend time spent on their site, purely to generate profits.

My poem reflects my alarm at the way we continue to view Facebook as benign even in the face of all this evidence. It is called “Click to View Progress” both ironically and in earnest. It is ironic because while technology has made progress in linking people together and hosting public discourse, it has also harmed our democracy, our elections, and our values by promoting hate speech and normalizing loss of privacy. The title is meant in earnest because this reveals how we have progressed. I want the poem to convey how dangerous these companies could potentially be if we do not wake up to the dilemma we are in.

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Is predictive text a sexist?

Communication—skill?

Is entertainment reckless?

Are feeds our sleeping pill?

As dull terms and agreements Compose our living wills— The future is unwritten, But Facebook holds the quill A spider web entangles A drill describes a pit A network has no master Our data’s Holy Writ Will history acquit us?

Or law come to our aid?

As users grow disgusted And leaders hesitate.

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REOPENING SCHOOLS IN COLORADO Aaron Middleton Interview with Dr. Jill Adams

Unless you’ve been living in an underground bunker for most of 2020—no one would blame you if you had—then you’re well aware of the global pandemic that has virtually changed the daily lives of everyone around the world. What was once “normal” has no real definition anymore. One area of American society that has seen drastic changes since the spread of COVID-19 is our education system.

All places of education, from K-12 to higher learning, were forced to send students home and reevaluate how to approach effective learning on a very 26

different platform. Dr. Jill Adams, an English professor at MSU Denver, a mother of three, and wife of a fellow educator, knows a thing or two about education. Adams taught middle and high school English for seven years, and then she went on to receive a doctorate at the University of Kansas.

This is her 13th year teaching at MSU Denver. With all her children attending either online or hybrid classes in Jefferson County, Colorado, I thought she might be able to shed some light on what is happening inside the schools here in Colorado.

ACT ONE: DIS Left photo provided by Halfpoint - stock.adobe.com

What sort of safety precautions do your kids take while at school?

Harper is going to start school at 7:15, and they suggested that we come at 6:45 because the line will be long to get your temperature check[ed].

That’s an early start to the day, but they have thought about the different entrances. Some schools, like the elementary school, do have doors that go directly outside from each of the classrooms. So, the students won’t go through the main hall.

Do you know if those are state regulations or individual districts that have created these safety procedures?

Yes. It’s based on what they get from the State Health Department[…]

One thing that I do like is that there isn’t this statewide order that says exactly what it has to be because every district, every school, is going to have to adjust slightly for the needs of their students and parents and the community. The tricky thing is that those requirements shift as well. Teachers are pretty good at rolling with the punches.

The parents are needing to develop that as well, and it’s not going to be set in stone because things keep changing with the virus.

mini-golf or out to eat in an outdoor setting, then we don’t do it again for a while. If you make one errand, that’s it.

Do you think there are benefits of sending kids back to school during this? If so, what? If not, how come?

I think families who are really struggling right now are ones that only have one child. I feel lucky my kids play together. They get that social aspect. I know a lot of kids who are [the only child within in their families] and have really struggled missing people. Kids just need that energy—that physical activity outside of the home. As I listen to different parents, there was a lot of [concern around the] social aspect, but also, I’m a teacher. I have a different view than a lot of parents.

I can teach my kids anything, and I feel comfortable that I can figure it out. Most people don’t feel that way, and they feel uncomfortable. A lot of people don’t know that there are

Are you concerned that any of your kids might come home with anything?

Right photo provided by Dr.Jill Adams

I’m not as worried about the kids as much. I’m mostly concerned about my husband because he’s older, and may not be in the best physical shape, and just how many more students he is in contact with throughout the day.

The level of interaction is kind of like budgeting your money for the month. If we have a playdate with other people, we don’t do that again for a couple days. Or if we go to 27

METROSPHERE resources. Then suddenly, all these resources came piling in during April and May, and that can also be overwhelming too because it’s too much. I just think that parents felt uncomfortable, and then were like, “we’re going to chance it.”

Do you envision schools reopening for physical classes at the beginning of 2021?

That is a hope. When businesses opened back up, it was scaffolded in nature, and that’s a comforting thing to me. I like the hybrid option where you’re not there 5 days a week. I think that’s the way to go because you have the best of both worlds. It does make me a little nervous to have all that classroom time. Maybe that’s why I ended up taking online for Everett and Emi. I think it’s a hope that everyone returns, but the real—the real realistic part of me says “No we’re going to be like this all [academic] year.”

Let’s say it does take schools another year to get everyone back into the classrooms. Do you foresee changes in the traditional learning format?

I think it’s never going to be the same. Although, if you look at that in a negative light, it’s not serving you well. Instead, you really need to think this is a chance for us to reinvent things that weren’t going that well. I think it is an exciting time where we can up our game in teaching.

I’ve been teaching online for 12 years so you would think that this isn’t intimidating, but it is, because everyone’s there and they didn’t have a choice. I need to have that human touch to my classes and do the little things like mailing out old-school physical postcards, and calling people, and having screencasts that let them see me as a person, and 28

I can see them. That’s how we’re going to get through this and give them a reason to care.

“I think it is an exciting time where we can up our game in teaching.”

I know that you have researched education through technology. Do you have any advice for people who are struggling with that? I know you kind of touched on rolling with the punches but was there anything else?

What I think is great that teachers are doing right now is they’re not afraid to try new things […] There’s a lot of wonderful bloggers right now for teachers that are processing all of that and sharing good resources.

So, it’s right there, but we need to help each other. If I see something that worked well for closure in my synchronous class, then I share it with others—“hey try this.” It really feels like we’re a team, and we’re all helping each other as best we can.

Do you believe that our administration reopened schools with our children’s best interests in mind?

I hope that everyone always has the students in mind—the families and the community. I think that for the most part, that happened. However, they did not hear the teachers’ voices in the process. That’s why a lot of teachers have felt panicked over the summer.

There was very little info. They weren’t a part of the conversations

ACT ONE: DIS and teachers should be a part of the conversations. They’re the ones who are going to make it work.

“Teachers should be a part of the conversations” What is the worst-case scenario? For instance, if there’s a serious outbreak at a school?

It seems like everyone has a protocol. When there are positive cases, they will act on that. They need to put into play the plans that they have and support teachers as best they can. There are all these big plans and people in the administration talking and listening to parents and students, but let’s listen to the teachers too.

Illustration provided by Dr .Jill Adams

The PR piece is “oh no there’s an outbreak at so-and-so school.” To the public, that’s a negative mark on that school. But that really should be a positive mark. They’re testing people, they’re being careful, and they’re informing families about everything that’s going on. [The administration] is cautious, and they’re taking the right steps in keeping everyone safe, but I still don’t know what the testing requires. I know that in Creek, all the teachers were given tests already, but I’m not sure about the frequency of those or the availability of the tests. So, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the future holds because right now, no one really knows.

METROSPHERE

CHURCH ON GRAPES Pablo Cardoza Art Submission

“I always felt uncomfortable in churches growing up. I either questioned reality, became bored, or felt uncomfortable in crowds. I remember distracting myself by imagining different catastrophic events based on movies or things I’ve seen.

This work started as a Photoshop of grapes, a church, and tentacles in a similar layout. This work aims to embody that discomfort and child-like imagination in relation to attending Mass.”

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I FEEL LOST Jonathan Hidalgo Photo Essay

nyc路to路pho路bi路a noun The fear of the night or of darkness

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ma·ze·o·pho·bi·a noun The fear of being lost or getting lost

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a·gor·a·pho·bi·a noun The fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult or that help wouldn’t be available if things go wrong

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ge·ped·o·pho·bi·a noun The irrational fear of playgrounds

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a·tha·za·gor·a·pho·bi·a noun The fear of forgetting someone or something as well as the fear of being forgotten

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ag·no·sto·pho·bi·a noun The constant fear of the unknown

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METROSPHERE

LONG, LONG DISTANCE Adrienne White Art Submission

“Long, Long Distance is a watercolor self-portrait created as a rumination on isolation during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The loneliness found by being trapped in my room with no in-person contact aside from my mother felt difficult then, even suffocating at times, as I was afloat—tangled and trapped by the very technology which granted me access to the outside world. This struggle has been only further magnified in the subsequent months as I am unable to meet up with my high-risk friends or my long-distance boyfriend for fear of generating life-threatening risks by my mere presence. As I fall into old habits from darker times in my adolescence, I find myself dressing in the same clothes I wore during such depressive spells, having long been forgotten in dusty drawers until now. This depiction may not be the most optimistic as we find ourselves still in the thick of this world crisis, but in its creation, I have found catharsis and peace—fleeting as it may be.”

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ACT ONE: DIS

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METROSPHERE

WHAT IS YOUR QUARANTINE COMMUNICATION STYLE? Alex Ertel Quiz The pandemic has forced us to face many challenges in our day-to-day lives. We have had to change our ways of being social, but that doesn’t mean that we have given up communicating with each other! We all have a different way of coping and finding ways to process what is happening. This quiz will help determine what type of communication style you’ve adopted in this difficult time.

1

How would you describe your group of friends?

4

A. A small circle of close friends.

B. A lifelong best friend.

C. A selective social life.

D. Friends in every social circle.

2

How would you describe your approach to communication?

A. When I absolutely had to.

B. I don’t remember.

C. After I felt stuck in a rut.

D. After my last break up.

5

A. Blunt. Straight to the point.

B. I am extremely shy until you get to know me.

C. Patient. I talk when the time is right.

D. Talkative. I always enjoy telling stories.

3

Do you like your alone time?

A. No strong feelings either way.

B. Yes, I need time to recharge.

C. Sometimes.

D. No, I prefer company.

40

When was the last time you took a leap of faith?

What do you do when you receive a phone call from an unknown number?

A. Ignore it and then look up the number online.

B. I have my phone set to block unknown numbers.

C. Wait and see if they will leave a voicemail.

D. Answer it.

6

What do you daydream about?

A. My life after I have achieved all my goals.

B. A creative project I have been meaning to finish C. A rainy day and a warm cabin.

D. An around-the-world adventure.

ACT ONE: DIS

7

What would you rather do in your free time?

10

A. Be plugged in.

B. Practice self-care.

C. Cultivate a new hobby like gardening.

D. Catch up with my friends.

8

How do you ocassionally get out of your comfort zone?

A. Accept it.

B. Have a good cry about it.

C. Reflect on why it didn’t go well.

D. Brush it off and try again.

11

A. Seek out new challenges.

B. Pick up a new book or watch a new film C. Learn a new skill.

D. Make an impulsive decision like getting a piercing!

9

How do you confront problems?

A. Find a solution.

B. Take time to process.

C. Try to approach it from different angles.

D. Deal with it head on.

How do you react when something doesn’t go as well as you planned?

What is your preferred form of communication?

A. Texting in a group chat.

B. Having a deep and meaningful conversation.

C. Something sentimental like a letter.

D. Being with someone face-to-face.

12

How do you vent?

A. Listen to music that reflects my mood.

B. Create something artistic.

C. Do something productive.

D. Talk to someone close to me.

Write in your answers and see where you stand!

Results are on the next page

1.) _____

4.) _____

7.) _____

10.) _____

2.) _____

5.) _____

8.) _____

11.) _____

3.) _____

6.) _____

9.) _____

12.) _____

Total A’s ______

Total B’s ______

Total C’s ______

Total D’s ______ 41

Photos provided by Alex Ertel

Mostly A’s

Interconnected

Mostly B’s

Contemplative

Your online habits have opened up your social life to friends from all over the globe. At any hour of the day you have someone you can talk to. Your communication has been online, but it has been far from lonely! You’ve been able to spend time doing the things you enjoy with old and new friends alike despite having to quarantine.

42

The pandemic has been terrible, but having a reason to stay home was just what you needed. You’re introverted and appreciate spending time in your space with your pets. You’ve caught up on that reading list and enjoyed some new movies, but most of all you have been taking care of yourself in a comfortable space that allows you to process this time.

Mostly C’s

Sentimental

ACT ONE: DIS

Mostly D’s

Outgoing

Your style of quarantine communication is based on the idea of reconnecting. You’ve reconnected with old friends, interests, nature, and even yourself! You’ve tried your hand at things like letter writing and bread making, while thoroughly enjoying the revitalizations of past comforts! You’ve done your best to stay optimistic despite everything going on, and your friends appreciate the kind words when they receive your letter!

You love your social life and quarantine has totally turned it inside out. You’ve had to navigate new ways of getting together with friends. FaceTime has become a go-to app for you. When you have managed to see a close friend on occasion you stay outside and catch up at a healthy six foot distance with your masks on!

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METROSPHERE

WHAM BAM HATEFUL SLAMS

45

METROSPHERE

COFFEE AND A BLUEBERRY SCONE Chena Williams

Photo provided by Jonathan Hidalgo and Parker Wiese

Poetry

46

ACT ONE: DIS

One scoop of sugar in my coffee, my coffee takes extra cream.

Extra cream because it’s a little too black, “a little too black” sounds very familiar to me.

Very familiar to me but not too much because like I said I take cream, I take cream and a blueberry scone warmed up.

A blueberry scone warmed up is like soft, sweet heaven, soft, sweet heaven tastes a lot like a state I do not live in.

I do not live in a place where I feel safe, a place where I feel safe looks and feels a lot like coffee.

Like coffee, I need cream to feel whole and good, To feel whole and good I feel like I need something extra.

Something extra is usually cream or just something white or just something male, something male and white and soft and sweet is comforting to me.

Comforting to me because I’m very insecure— I’m very insecure, or so they say.

They say the key to happiness is loving yourself, loving yourself is difficult when black coffee is so bitter.

Black coffee is so bitter and cream is so delicious, cream is so delicious that I wonder what I would do without it.

Without it, maybe I would get used to the taste of black coffee, Black coffee could be a flavor that I cultivate and grow fond of.

Fond of a taste that is almost familiar, almost familiar is a lot like the state that I live in.

I live in a dream of black coffee making me happy Happy with what I have.

But I have never ordered black coffee, and I will always take a blueberry scone.

47

DISCOMFORTING

48

ACT 1: DIS

49

METROSPHERE

THROUGH THE FOG Megan Anthony Poetry

You always say you wish you could do more.

I see the feeling of hopelessness

in your eyes.

While all you see is a girl, gasping

for a breath

of sanity– I see a steady hand and feel a weight of security.

You do more than you know.

Your words slow time.

50

Photo provided by Vlad Bagacian

But oh, my love, you have no clue,

do you?

ACT TWO: COMFORT

Nothing pulls me from the depths of my mind

like your unshakeable presence.

First, you taught me to breathe.

With each sip of air, I came Closer to

Reality.

Your words guided my racing mind that kept me from this earth.

through the fog

There was never a rush.

With each word, a new breath.

The steady rhythm of your voice never failed to save me

from myself.

51

METROSPHERE

WALL OF FAME

52

KOBE BRYANT

MICHAEL SCOTT

“THE GOAT”

“THE WORLD’S BEST BOSS”

KRISTI YAMAGUCHI

THE OBAMAS

“THE DREAMER FOREVER”

“THE POWER COUPLE”

ACT TWO: COMFORT

VON MILLER

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

“THE SACK MASTER”

“THE ALL AMERICAN”

ROBERT BRESSON

RUTH BADER GINSBURG

“THE MINIMALIST”

“THE LEGEND”

53

A WRITER’S PURSUIT Chèna Williams Interview with Madden Ott

We’re faced with art every day. The clothing we wear, the architecture we reside in, the books we read, and the music we turn up in the car. Art these days is easily accessible and a commodity we pay for to receive entertainment, but how do these creative outlets effect the people behind them? Do people go into creative majors or fields with the hopes of 54

forming commercially successful careers, or are the benefits of having a creative outlet enough? I met with fellow MSU Denver student, Madden Ott, to discuss these topics. Ott is a writer and musician currently working on a trilogy series. They are a junior studying English with a concentration in secondary education and a minor in anthropology.

ACT TWO: COMFORT How long have you been writing?

I sort of stopped writing for a while and just didn’t really do much and then dropped out of college, worked for two years, and realized that if I wanted to do something with my life that I enjoy.

I needed to figure out what that was.

I always really wanted to write, and that’s still what I wanna do.

“I always really wanted to write, and that’s still what I wanna do.”

How would you describe a creative outlet?

Photo provided by Goodluz - stock.adobe.com

For me, for whatever reason, I have to be creating something [...] It doesn’t even matter what it is. I could never do sports or anything like that. I was always pretty awkward, but one thing that was my thing was always creativity. I’ve always been doing something creative. If I’m really going through a rough time, I’ll start having these phrases or lines that pop into my head, and I’m like I need to get this out—how I’m feeling. I need to write a poem about it.

Do you think that it has helped you more while you’re in school to have a creative outlet to write, or are there times that you’re away from school that you think that it’s better?

It’s kinda hard to say. I think that when I’m in school, sometimes I end up in a situation where I really wanna write, but I don’t have the leftover energy after getting all my assignments done and prioritizing school.

Then, I’m like oh man I really wish I

had more free time ‘cause I really wanna work on this.

At the same time, even if I do that, there has to be some kind of outlet for my creativity whether it’s listening to music, analyzing the artistry of it and the craft, or it’s delving into the emotion and how it’s conveyed in a film.

What would constitute a finished piece? Whether that be a novel, a short story, a poem, or a song?

I would say it’s something that I’ve worked on, gone through, and edited however many hundred times and made it something that I’m satisfied sharing with people. I also find that anytime I think it’s good enough to share, I’m like, no, this needs to be changed. It becomes this ongoing process. I don’t ever fully finish things until it’s like, okay, this has been published, I can’t go back and edit it now. It’s finished when I’m not allowed or able to edit it anymore.

“It’s finished when I’m not allowed or able to edit it anymore.”

Do you think that a piece has to be finished?

Not necessarily. I think if you’re going to try to sell a book it kinda has to be finished at that point, but at the same time, you can also just do what Patrick Rothfuss did. He wrote Name of the Wind, then he wrote the sequel, and then he wrote this whole other little novella that’s about this side character. Even 55

Photo provided by Madden Ott

METROSPHERE though you can finish the piece itself, the actual creative process of adding on and making the world more complex doesn’t have to stop.

“Making the world more complex doesn’t have to stop” What do you think of society’s general perception of art and creative outlets?

There’s this weird doublethink going on. [On one hand people think:] Oh, well, the arts, there’s no money in that so you shouldn’t pursue it as a career. It’s just something that if you’re going to do it, it should just be a side thing. Where at the same time it’s like oh, you’re really good at art you should make that your career. And it’s like, okay well which is it? Is it a viable career or not?

And why does there have to be so much emphasis on a career? What I would like to make my life about would be my creativity whether it’s writing or music. I want that to be the center of my life.

I don’t have to give up my creativity in order to pursue something else as my career, but just because my way of making money is different from my creativity doesn’t mean that my creativity has to suffer because of it or that I can’t also pursue that.

Society puts so much emphasis on finding a career or making your career your identity. If you want your identity to be a writer, it doesn’t mean that you have to give up on finding something that allows you to support yourself and your family while you do it. Our society feels 56

the need to commodify everything, and I just think that creativity can suffer because of that. People can create stuff ‘cause they want to create it, and that should be enough, ya know?

“they want to create it, and that should be enough, ya know?”

A sample of Madden Ott’s work can be found on the right page.

ACT TWO: COMFORT

LOVE IN THE TIME OF COVID-19 Madden Ott Poetry You hold my hand at arm’s length And through sweaty rubber gloves our fingers are intertwined Through our masks we can hear each other’s smiles And through the cage I made around my head I can see a little sunshine I sing along to songs I never liked before ‘Cause when I hear them in my head They’re in your voice They’re all about bittersweet love and icy kisses And the way your sun shines on my moon in phases It’s harder when my love is so strong I can’t imagine how it could be split like yours In the moonlight I fall asleep avoiding tears on my pillow In the sunshine We laugh like children and I know you love me But I don’t know how much I never knew love was sweeter with pain

57

METROSPHERE

I AM SERENE Abraham Mejia Ramirez Awarded Art Submission

IG: @art_by_abraham

“In my exploration of art, I have always found it fascinating with the way colors can blend to create an ethereal experience. The way the colors of the background blend into the hair makes the figure be enveloped and be a part of this extraordinary feeling that is complete happiness and comfort. The viewer is watching her be at ease. This piece sets out to create a warm fuzzy feeling to make the viewers feel safe and serene.�

58

ACT ONE: DIS

59

METROSPHERE

A PERMANENT ROSE Alex Ertel Photo Essay

60

ACT TWO: COMFORT

61

METROSPHERE

62

ACT TWO: COMFORT

63

METROSPHERE

64

ACT TWO: COMFORT

65

METROSPHERE

Natalie Gove Awarded Writing Submission

Natalie R. Gove lives in Denver, CO with her one-eyed blind puggle named Smudge and midtown brown pup Prudence. She eats a gluten-free waffle every morning and is sinking/swimming through the magical process of eating disorder recovery. In order to keep herself safe, you can find her dissociating, writing with chalk, and playing with glitter silly putty. Her writing ties together trauma, place, and peripheral people. She is currently packing boxes of food at Metro Caring and spraying sanitizer around an acupuncture studio.

66

Photo provided by Alex Ertel

UNCOMFORTABLY COMFORTABLE

ACT TWO: COMFORT

Ben,

Your music comforts my white comfortable self that feels uncomfortable in quarantine. Your music played muffled from the bathroom while he took a shower. Your music got louder when he opened the door and dried off in the bedroom.

Your music stirred in my ears and drowned out the uncomfortable reality of addiction. Your music now plays freely in this home without him. Your music is requested, “Alexa, play Ben Folds.” Your music blares over the speaker when volunteers load boxes of food for the furloughed. Your music is skipped when you sing, “fuck.” Your music comforts my mid-thirties self who sits back in a flannel, sifts the smells of suburbia, and complains.

Uncomfortable in skin but comfortable eating waffles every morning; This Bitch Went Nuts, -Nat

67

E P O D ALS C E D METROSPHERE

C at s 68

ACT ONE: DIS

Sports

39

Fri

end

s& Fam ily

s g Do 69

METROSPHERE

VICES Alex Fraser Art Submission

IG: @straightofftherack

“I draw and create to ground myself.

Everything nowadays is chaotic and hectic. My art is one of the only peaceful things behind the chaos. If I’m drawing, I have an eraser, and if I’m designing, I have Ctrl + Z; so the possibilities are greater in my head than in the chaos of the world.”

70

ACT ONE: DIS

71

M I love road-trips. They’re an excuse to eat fast-food, and you’ll never experience the entertaining, often creepy, road-side attractions from an airplane—that’s for sure. However, this trip from Colorado to Arizona was different. As if a global pandemic wasn’t enough, I got word that my dad only had a few weeks left to live.

Like cancer is often known to do, it tiptoed into his lungs after a lifetime of cigarette smoking and took over his body. That type of recklessness can’t be overlooked by Mother Nature.

My initial reaction to the news was something like, how the hell am I supposed to travel during a pandemic?

A. Global. Pandemic.

72

Aar

o

ton e l d ir id emo nM rt M

Sho

People are contagious. No one is safe.

The whole world is affected. (I’ve seen the film Contagion; I think I know a thing or two.) If I caught the virus and brought it to my dying father and semi-healthy mother, I would have to plan two memorial services instead of one. As I weighed my options, I concluded that I should go.

First, to say goodbye to the person that raised me. (I think I turned out relatively well.) Second, I didn’t need another reason to go to therapy. Not saying goodbye would surely lead me down that road.

I packed the car before the sun rose, and as I fired up the engine, I began to reflect on my choice of snacks.

I should’ve gotten more for the road, I thought. Why did I buy beef jerky?

Photos provided by Jonathan Hidalgo

N R U O

N U S ING

ACT TWO: COMFORT I don’t eat jerky; I don’t even know what it is. What happens if I run out?

What if there’s nowhere to eat and somehow, I get stranded in New Mexico?

I don’t know anyone in New Mexico. I composed myself and realized that it wasn’t the snacks I was concerned about. I wasn’t going to die of starvation. What troubled me was that in fifteen hours, depending on the twolane traffic in some spots, I would be saying goodbye to the ol’ man for the last time.

Driving through the mountains at dawn helps to put things in perspective.

For a while, the winding roads had me spellbound, and I was able to overlook the horrors swimming through my head like diseases, cancer, and beef jerky. Not everything was doom and gloom. In this drive, I understood how important my trip was. How would I be able to live with myself if I never said goodbye?

Fathers are somewhat of an anomaly.

We all have one, but that doesn’t mean there’s an emotional connection from both parties. My dad and I were close but not that close. We enjoyed each other’s company, but we never talked about anything important. Mostly one- or two-word

“Fathers are somewhat of an anomaly.

We all have one, but that doesn’t mean there’s an emotional connection from both parties.” replies would suffice for conversation. Looking back, our relationship didn’t need much more. We loved each other and often said those words, especially after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Families are complicated, and sometimes the complexity can cloud our emotions.

The sun had fully emerged by the time I needed to refuel. Being alone on the open road made me forget about the pandemic for a while—until I reached a gas station. The station seemed recently abandoned, which was good and bad. Good, because the less people, the better. Bad, because I felt like I could be a victim in The Hills Have Eyes. (You know, the one where the suburban family gets stranded in the desert and is eaten by mutated cannibals.) Luckily, the station accepted payment at the pump.

Fifteen gallons and forty dollars later, I was off again.

Sitting in the same seat for hours wasn’t my only discomfort; I began having full-on conversations with myself about what I should say to my dad. Should I pretend he’s not dying?

73

METROSPHERE Am I supposed to nosedive into a conversation about mortality? Perhaps he knows the secrets of the universe.

It’s not every day that you get to hear someone’s last words, and I imagine anything goes. There’s no reason for me to hold back anymore.

There’s a wonderful saying that reads, “You must release to find inner peace.”

I think it was from Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, or someone off Pinterest.

Regardless, it seemed to fit.

I arrived at my parent’s house that evening. Due to the machines and breathing tubes, my dad couldn’t do much talking. At least he was in his recliner at home with my mom by his side. He didn’t want to spend his last days in a hospital, even if it meant another month or so of life.

Obviously, there’s nothing that can slow time—it continues whether we want it to or not. I will admit, though, if we’re able to ground ourselves and live in the moment, it almost feels like we have the power to slow time down—even if it’s just for a little bit.

After a foreboding few days—an uncertain cycle of sleep and wake—my

father was well enough to have our last real conversation, and so was I. Not to get too poetic, but as the sun set on the Arizona skyline, I felt as if it also set upon us. I asked him about his dreams, his goals, his regrets, if he ever found a meaning to life, and if he believed in an afterlife. I had questions that I had put off for a lifetime. He sat there quietly for a moment. Then, as the last strands of sunlight escaped the horizon, he said, “Ya know, I really just thought I had ten more years in me.”

The sun set on my family that night, but those words have stuck with me. We shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to do the things that make us, well, us. It’s my understanding that he wanted to live longer because life had more to offer him, as it does all of us. It’s like leaving before a movie is over—we all want to know how it ends. I can safely say that no one truly knows. One thing’s for certain: The sun will rise tomorrow and the next day, with or without our permission. It’s up to us to decide what we’re going to do with what daylight we have left.

“I really just thought

I had ten more years”

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ACT TWO: COMFORT

75

METROSPHERE

FACE THE MUSIC Metrosphere Staff Music Recommendations

”

“F

speech is freedom of f o dea om th er ed

Fight the Power Public Enemy

When Spike Lee needed an anthem for Do the Right Thing, he went to Public Enemy. Chuck D wrote a rough version, but it wasn’t complete until Chuck saw a screening of the film and knew he had to hit harder.

Am

76

bia

nce :

Be d - S t u y Boom

i B ox

ng

ACT TWO: COMFORT

Illenium / Annika Wells

should have let y o u go”

he sky went dark y t n e ou t wh d hin n “A

Crawl Outta Love

rI his fa et t it g

k

ave known / Before w h d l u e le t I wo

The lyrics describe a relationship where everything seemed to be going right, until things started to crumble, leaving Annika to crawl from broken love.

Am

bian

t c e : Br o ken Hear

ed

me n

“Come f i nd

es” tongu ret sec

ide out / We’ll speak h l l ’ e in o /W ur w o

The Woodpile Frightened Rabbit

Songwriter Scott Hutchinson wrote the song to contrast the feeling of being trapped and lonely with the feeling of confidence and excitement.

Am

bianc

g e : Mel low An

st 77

METROSPHERE

yea rs c a

“How many

Blowin’ in theWind Bob Dylan

ree?” to be f wed allo

n

ple exist / Before t o e p hey e ’re som

A popular protest song of the 60’s which Dylan wrote in 10 minutes and described as “just another song.”

Amb

I wa ke u

Mac Miller

Making up the lyrics as he went, Miller recorded “2009” in a pitch-black booth in Seattle, Washington. Thanks for the magic, Mac.

bian

c e : C alm C ont e

at mpl

i on

th me” right wi

“Now every day

2009

Am 78

ll t’s a tha

/ I don’t have i eathe t all r b d but n pa

i anc e : P or c h Bl ue

s

“I’ll pour the ink dow n fro m

until the end.” isery ym /M

sentences that will d n I / efen pen d my

Snow Song

Adrianne Lenker

After a few years of working solo, Adrianne Lenker met Buck Meek in New York, and they formed the band Big Thief.

ow

Pineapple

et” es

b r the rise ut only wake e f e to t pr h uch The Careful Ones

A group of childhood friends from Tennessee set out to make a soundtrack for a good life and to bring comfort through their music.

Am

bi a

nc e

on

s

i a n c e : Fu l l o f S o r r

“We m

Amb

: Hon

e y a n d S umm e r A

no f t er

79

METROSPHERE

please don’t cry, dr y yo “But ur

Keep Ya Head Up Jhené Aiko

, keep ya head up “ , girl get for

let up / Forgive, but r e v e don s, n e ’t y e

By covering Tupac’s 1993 song, “Keep Ya Head Up,” Aiko illustrates how violence against women continues to persist. However, as the title says, “Keep ya head up.”

Am ce n bian a r ce: Soulful Reassu

Zion T.

bi

an

t he

Am

Sou

When asked about the song, Zion T. responded, “It’s so hard to live on these days, and we all want someone to make us feel better.

It’s a song to console the people.”

80

l

“In t hat c

Eat

e” olat hoc

is song / And enjoy it h t e like , tak e c s a

ce :

S oo

t h i ng C h i c ken S

fo oup

r

“Fre edo m

Freedom

e!” loos me

!

! I can’t move / Freedom m o d cut e Fre

Beyoncé Gisselle Knowles-Carter Though it is written in dedication to Black women and their struggles, this song, like the rest of her discography, is universal and can be appreciated by all.

We are made fists / who r u o f le e ar

6666

The chorus references the book The Four Fists by F. Scott Fitzgerald in which a man gets pu n c h e d i n t h e f a c e f o u r times throughout his life, each blow making him a better person.

ian

ti

on

A

mb

broken jaws.”

Four Fists

h our oug thr

the re

i a n c e : P ow e r B a l l a d

“Inside each life

Am b

ce : O

p t imis t ic S elf -R

c ef le

81

METROSPHERE

DE COLORES DE GG Reinna Florez Art Submission

“De Colores de GG (All the Colors of GG) was produced in October 2018.

This image was rendered in Photoshop and Illustrator a month before my grandmother passed away in November 2018. I took this image and turned it into a painting for Carlos Fresquez’s class. For my grandmother’s funeral, I passed these out to her siblings, my aunts, my uncles, and my cousins.

Having an artistic interpretation of her hands is a memory that we can all share in—as these hands were the hands of a true strong Native American and Spanish matriarch.”

82

ACT ONE: DIS

83

METROSPHERE

TREAT YOUR SHELF Curated by Megan Hickins Reading Recommendations

Intimations Zadie Smith Zadie Smith. Intimations. Penguin Books, 2020.

“I don’t have to think twice before I recommend Zadie Smith’s new, very small book titled Intimations.

Her short, uniquely personal essays have all been written in the recent alien times, but they are still comforting because she is so thoughtful.

What she thinks about in unexpected ways is the COVID-19 epidemic and how it affects her and the characters she meets on the streets of New York City and London—from her regular masseur who doesn’t know her name to the elderly lady who knows that it is really Sadie. Who wouldn’t want to read a piece titled “Suffering like Mel Gibson”? Her last essay stunned me into new awareness as she shows that racism is like a virus that we carry and transmit, whose microbe is contempt.”

The Long Fall Walter Mosley “I think about comfort in books in much the same way that I think about comfort food—it may not be the best thing for you, but it brings some joy, and it is delicious. When I am reading for comfort, I am often looking for some escape. My favorite way to do this is with mystery novels. My favorite mystery novels are by Walter Mosley, one of our great contemporary African American writers. I’d recommend his current series with protagonist Leonid McGill, a complex and interesting private detective in the noir tradition. The first book in the series is The Long Fall.”

DR. JESSICA L. PARKER Director of First-Year Writing 84

Mosley, Walter. The Long Fall. New American Publishing, 2010.

DR. JAMES R. AUBREY Professor of Literature and Film

Eddie Glaude Jr. Begin Again. Crown Publishing, 2020.

ACT TWO: COMFORT

Begin Again Eddie S. Glaude Jr. “I am finding great inspiration and encouragement from Begin Again: James Baldwin’s America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own by Eddie S. Glaude Jr. As the title suggests, Glaude uses the work of Baldwin, one of our greatest American writers, to help us navigate through our own challenging times—or what he terms “the after times.”

DR. MARGARITA T. BARCELÓ Professor of Chicana/o Literature

The Starless Sea and The Night Circus

Morgenstern, Erin. The Starless Sea. Anchor, 2020.

Morgenstern, Erin. The Night Circus. Anchor, 2012.

Erin Morgenstern “I would recommend the books The Starless Sea and The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.

The two books are unrelated in subject but are related in their styles and tones. These books follow characters through discomfort—the realization that their worlds are not as simple or as shallow as they think, and into comfort—a new way of being, or a new home. I find comfort in these books for their absolutely wonderful “worlds”—people might think of them as escapism: the worlds of the stories straddle realism and magic—our everyday lives and wonderous fantasy. Morgenstern is a masterful writer, keeping you wondering and guessing with brilliant prose throughout the books and landing the reader in endings that are satisfying and complete.”

DR. REBECCA A. GORMAN O’NEILL Professor of English and Department Chair 85

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Photo by Jonathan Hidalogo

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WILLOW PILL Vanessa Silver Art Submission

IG:@butterfly913

Model IG: @willowpillqueen

“In Denver, we are lucky to have a diverse and talented drag community.

I am always supporting and amplifying many performers locally. With this watercolor portrait I have created, I am commemorating their memorable aesthetic.�

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MATTHEW 7: 24 - 27 Shady Balcom Awarded Writing Submission This is a story about two trans men in love in Illinois.

We stayed in a crooked house that summer, where the rain poured down and leaked through the window-mounted air conditioning unit we kept on its highest setting. The slanted floor made the refrigerator door swing back hard against the counter if you didn’t hold it still, and everything that rolled ended up under the bed. We fried eggs in butter and drank beer from the same bottle, and I drove us through the rain over the bridge to Indiana, where Buddy stayed in the car when he could and where I stood in front of him when he couldn’t. My body couldn’t quite block him from view, but I could hide the giveaway parts of him, the parts that get us both into trouble. At home we’d sit on the edge of the bed in 92

front of the swamp cooler, Buddy sticky with sweat that formed droplets down his calves and thighs and chest and arms, and he’d apologize or I would, and we’d laugh at things we’d forget the next day, and he’d say, “Can I stay with you?” which he always says, and I’d say, “Yes,” which I always say. The storms scared Buddy because he understood them. As a kid he’d hide with his cousins in a house built on a sand dune, where the wind lashed against the walls and the rain bled through the window panes and the

“Can I stay with you?”

ACT THREE: ING storm sirens wailed from some distant sheltered place, where the safety of the coat closet was a false promise, a feeble hope, and he’d pick up pennies off the floor and then survive.

Grown now, broad and heavy, he’d nuzzle his face into my shoulder and I’d run my hands over his back, hushing him while he made no sound, and we’d listen for more thunder while I worked my fingers into him. The crooked house was a temporary shelter with dishes and towels that didn’t belong to us and a little coffee pot that filled two mugs that didn’t belong to us, and he’d say, “Can I stay with you?” and I’d say, “Yes.” He

“Yes” stayed quiet during storms, and I’d work my fingers in slowly, one by one, and then past each knuckle, one by one, until there wasn’t any more room for me in him. His grandmother’s coat closet in the house on the sand dune had real furs in it, and his grandfather made sculptures of women’s asses

until they stopped looking like women’s asses and took the shape of deformed lungs, or cuts of unspecified meat, and now that he is dead, Buddy’s mother hires someone to come and dust them every other week despite her liberal arts education. I worked my hand into Buddy up to the knuckle in my thumb and turned it slowly, stretching open the inside of him until it felt like I could see it, draw up a map of it if I needed to, if I never saw him again. “Can I stay with you?”

The storms didn’t scare me as much as his silence, his steady gaze, his careful breathing. When he told me I looked scared I shoved my hand in too deep on purpose, and he gritted his teeth and winced, still silent. As a kid I stayed in a house behind a retirement village of empty rolling cut-grass hills, where my grandmother peeled garlic and sliced onions before the sun rose, and my grandfather composed symphonies at a keyboard plugged into a computer that took thirty minutes to turn on, and he taped my drawings of rabbits to his filing cabinet. It would only rain

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METROSPHERE two weeks in April and two weeks in August, and my sister, and I would run out to the street and stand in the little sidewalk stream about the width my hand is now. I pulled my hand back out of Buddy and turned it in the light, spread the fingers wrinkled dripping sticky with the mess he made, and wondered why I hurt him, why on purpose. Static again, shaky again, and then I’m in his arms, my face against the soft warm of his chest which is more temporary than other shelters, and he’s telling me something safe, and I’m not in trouble, and it’s okay. My grandfather’s office had green carpet and infinite printer paper, and he let me draw him rabbits on the floor while he wrote music someone somewhere loves very much. Buddy’s grandparents died years ago, and we never made it to the house on the dune. In the dark in the rain, Buddy pointed to a turn in the road right as I passed it, “That’s how to get there, to the dune house,” he said. My grandparents didn’t die. I know because I saw them just a couple months ago. My grandfather crossed the street once he saw me coming but my grandmother stood still, staring, covering her mouth. I got close enough to see she was crying. I got closer and I wrapped my arms around her and she told me she’s going to get in trouble, and I told her it’s okay. I don’t know why I said it. I might not see her again, and we can’t always do what we’re told. The rain came down

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harder on the road back, where the highway turned to river and the cars didn’t slow down, staggered brake lights leading us home up the dark, and when we saw the bridge ahead of us, I let go of Buddy’s hand to better hold the steering wheel, which would not have saved us if the water slipped too heavy under the tires. Nothing would have saved us. We stayed quiet and held our breath. Buddy wiped the sweat off his palm, and I changed my mind, let go of the wheel, reached back for him. I squeezed his hand too hard, and he let me. I conjured the smell of an old coat closet in an old house on a dune with no basement, long-dead mammals, wool, dust, dark, a child who does not know me nestling his face against the fur, the sound of a jar of pennies being spilled out onto the floor, thunder, sirens, his mother’s voice telling the children to pick them up, go on. I can’t save you from this, pick up the pennies now, it’s alright. Nothing can save you from this. Pick up the pennies.

Draw me more rabbits. I love you. I can’t save you. Static again, shaky again, and then we’re off the bridge, back on solid ground. Somewhere between the storm and the morning, Buddy asked me if he could come home with me, out West, where the air is thin and dry and it only rains four weeks a year, and all the thunder keeps its distance, and the mugs we drink from belong to us, and I told him yes.

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Pick up the pennies.

Draw me more rabbits.

I love you.

I can’t save you.

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ATRIA Katelyn Odenheimer Art Submission

“The heart is both a vital organ and a forceful image, real and symbolic, literal and figurative. It is the center of vitality, houses the soul, and encompasses the innermost emotions. The anatomical hearts that make up Atria represent the anxiety and panic that consume me. Conceptually, each form demonstrates the relationship between my physiological and psychological states: converting neurotic, obsessive thoughts, and the debilitating physical symptoms of anxiety attacks into a positive act of creating. I meticulously sculpt one porcelain form a day, allowing time for self-connection, a release of emotion, ritual, and a moment that is captured in time. Each form has life, a story that is burned and petrified by fire.

Chance and accident are inevitable in life, the forms ultimately become a representation of self, synthesizing personal experiences through expression with fate and coincidental occurrences from the firing. There is a presence of the unpredictable, each form is unique, much like how experiences and hardships leave imprints on a person. Being immersed within the multitude of forms allows for an intimate, inquisitive experience, providing a space for empathy and understanding.�

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LIVING THROUGH CHANGES Angel Rivera Opinion To the people who live through gentrification, that word expands far beyond architecture or even middle-class conformity. This taste, which may not appeal to some, comes at a cost higher than the salty umami of caviar. From an outsider’s perspective, it’s easy to want to destroy something that appears rundown and rebirth it in grandeur.

However, what happens to the people and places that stand before those ashes fall? What happens to the lives of the artists, the musicians, the chefs, and even the children who watch as the world around them changes and forces them out of their homes?

“What happens to the people and places that stand before those ashes fall?”

One of those artists is Carlos Fresquez, a local Latino artist, Denver native, and MSU Denver alumni turned professor. Fresquez, who lived near what is now the campus, had grandparents who lived in the neighborhood before it became the bustling center of knowledge it is today.

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He spent a lot of his time during the summers with his grandparents.

“I remember going to church with my grandparents on Sundays, and we would stop and talk to all the neighbors, one after the other.” Before its expansion efforts through the late 60’s and 70’s, Auraria was home to dozens of people with lives as real as anyone’s. Fresquez recalls: You know, the strange thing for me is I liked the fact we had a new campus. I didn’t think at the time, wow, they displaced everybody. I knew that was happening, I just didn’t process it completely.

Gentrification is a complex issue, but what’s clear to see is the feelings of the people living through the change—change which doesn’t want to include them. It is quite easy to visualize what Denver has in store for the future just by looking at districts such as the Highlands.

Although, it is almost redundant to ask if that vision has any room for those that came before.

Westwood, a small neighborhood in Denver County, is nestled neatly between the neighborhoods of Marley and Barnum. A humble population of fifteen thousand plus people with a seventy-two percent Hispanic/Latinx population, the neighborhood is rich with Mexican-American art, food, and

Photo provided by Carlos Fresquez

culture. Westwood is on the Denver City Council’s list for the redevelopment of many neighborhoods within the next twenty years, aiming to finish in 2040.

mostly Latinx community through Mass and festivals; and the Neighborhood Preservation Association. Heck, there are even ten educational facilities within the neighborhood boundaries.

Being a member of the Denver Westwood community myself, it’s easy to forget that we aren’t the only people living in the here and now. Rather, there is a whole living and breathing community. The hotspots tucked away in the corners of Westwood are what provide the life and blood for the people living within. These are the places that cultivate a sense of community. Such places include the Food Cooperative on Morrison, which insures that the less fortunate are able to get meals and groceries; Saint Cajetan’s, a Catholic Church which serves the

“The hotspots tucked away in the corners of Westwood are what provide the life and blood for the people living within.”

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Gentrification does, however, have benefits. Fresquez shared his thoughts on the duality of gentrification: 100

You never really think about it at the time, all the people being displaced and losing their homes.

You think: Hey! The neighborhood is looking good and looking new but never of what it took to get there.

Not only has the landscape been reimagined, but it has become unrecognizable to those who lived there prior to its reconstruction.

With real estate moguls, developers, and city reconstruction, loads of funding is poured into purchasing land, and that land happens to be historically

“It has become unrecognizable to those who lived there”

Photos provided by Alex Ertel

Westwood is a burgeoning community that offers a hand to those who ask.

Rapidly, Denver is seeing an incline of modernization in neighborhoods around the Metro Area. For example, Five Points, a historically diverse neighborhood often called “the Harlem of the West,” is now commonly referred to as RiNo, the River North Art District. This term attempts to modernize the neighborhood as a trendy district, subsequently ignoring the rich history of Black jazz and culture that runs deep through the streets. The Denver Highlands, likewise, is amorphous in its acknowledgement of the historically Latinx “Northside.” Both of these areas are products of unbridled gentrification without thought. With more and more people moving into the Denver Metro Area, a need for new housing rises.

ACT THREE: ING Black and Brown with low property value. This provides an incentive to buy cheap, spruce up the neighborhood, and sell or rent the property at prices low-income tenants cannot afford.

When I asked about how he felt about gentrification, Fresquez said, I don’t feel any certain way about it because on one side, you see the neighborhood start to look good and be renewed—at least on the surface.

On the other hand, taxes and the cost of living go up, and you are displacing people. Some can afford to stay, but the taxes become so high they choose not to.

Gentrification creates a juxtaposition in society. One side is modern and high-end, while the other is dilapidated and “needs” the remodel. It would be beneficial to stop and think about what it is that might become of those who live in an area undergoing gentrification. Is it all worth removing culture? Not only are people losing their livelihoods, but the world is losing creators, musicians, scientists, and artists.

“Is it all worth removing culture?”

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INTERSECTIONS Jonathan Hidalgo Photo Essay

“Archeologists of some future age will study [the freeway] .to understand who we were.”

-David Brodsly

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“I believe that all roads lead to the same place—and that is wherever all roads lead to.”

-Willie Nelson

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“Together, the united forces of our communication and transportation systems are dynamic elements in the very name we bear—United States.

Without them, we would be a mere alliance of many separate parts.”

-President Dwight D. Eisenhower

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“He who walks in the middle of the roads gets hit from both sides.”

-George P. Shultz

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“It’s a journey with no end; Americans crave mobility, and wheels will always need roads.”

- George Constable & Bob Somerville

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“Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.”

-Jack Kerouac

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UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY IN THE TIME OF COVID Megan Anthony

Interview with Dr. Randyl Smith

It has become common knowledge that anxiety is on the rise among the nation’s younger generations. Then, as if the world did not have enough to worry about, 2020 hit, and these already anxiety-ridden populations were given something else to distress over: a worldwide pandemic. I wanted to discuss this rising trend with Dr. Randyl Smith, a professor in the Department of Psychological Sciences at MSU Denver. Along with working at the University, Dr. Smith also runs her own private practice.

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ACT THREE: ING Regarding the increase in mental health disorders that we have seen, what age group has experienced the highest influx?

I don’t know that research has determined that yet. We do know that young people have experienced higher rates of anxiety than older people, and that the percentages are growing in comparison to those that have been previously recorded. What we do know for sure is that anxiety is on the rise.

How has the pandemic affected these statistics?

Based on the same measurements at this time last year, suicidality has gone up two, three, even four-fold.

The pandemic is having a dramatic effect on people. Despite a rise among the nation, rates are still highest among younger populations.

We are all in a state of uncertainty and chaos. Why are the younger populations still affected more so than the rest of society?

Photo probided by Austin - stock.adobe.com

The people that are the least affected are further along in their careers than people who are younger and just getting started in the job market. I personally am not looking ahead at a future of 50-60 years and thinking, oh my god what is going to happen? So, the effects on older generations are going to be less prominent than on young people who are forced to question how this pandemic is going to change their futures.

I also wanted to talk about different types of anxiety and how they present themselves. Is there a difference between situational and long-term anxiety?

We usually distinguish between state anxiety and trait anxiety. Some of us, due to the circumstances of our birth or our biology, are hardwired to be a little more tightly wound—a little bit more anxious. Other people, by virtue of their biology, are a little more chill. Both are examples of traits; they are not that malleable, although we can change them a little bit. State anxiety is what you experience when you are told: “surprise exam today” or anything that may alter your anxiety levels but is also temporary.

How would you categorize a diagnosis that occurred due to pandemic-related stress?

I think what’s interesting about the pandemic is that it obviously doesn’t change our traits, which are more biologically driven, but it is beyond a state, which is considered a temporary event. The pandemic is having this kind of strange, enduring impact that I think is chipping away at people’s resilience. Will we be resilient when it ends? I mean people are resilient. We will bounce back, but our bounce-back ability is being challenged. The threshold that each of us has to feel overwhelmed or anxious is gradually being lowered by

“The pandemic is having this kind of strange, enduring impact that I think is chipping away at people’s resilience.”

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the enduring, persistent, unending uncertainty that we are all living in.

Has our increased awareness spurred an inclination to diagnose someone with anxiety and/or depression?

I do think that one of the huge gains over the last couple generations has been the acceptance of mental disorders. It seems to be that young people are far more accepting, more willing to talk, more willing to say, “I get treatment,” and more willing to access treatment. When I was growing up, mental disorders weren’t talked about as much because there was a lot of shame surrounding them. That is an enormous gain we have made as a culture: to take mental disorders out of the closet, out of the world of shame, and to make them more normalized.

I think that the flip side of that though is that to some degree they have been normalized to the point where things that we used to see as a really tough life transition or a difficult life phase—all of these normal challenges (pandemic excluded) that we have to face—are more commonly found to be bundled up and labeled as an 110

anxiety disorder. It’s not a bad thing to say, “I have an anxiety disorder,” but I think there is a trend toward overdiagnosis and pathologizing.

We have seen social changes when it comes to how we approach mental health. How have there been changes in the workforce culture?

There have definitely been changes in workforce culture for the better.

Back when I was entering my field of work, no one would have ever admitted to taking a mental health day. There is a lot greater awareness and accommodation today. Taking a mental health day, if the workplace can acknowledge that and embrace the idea, is a wonderful change.

How else has our culture changed, for better or worse, in the way we approach mental disorders?

The good news is that since pathologizing has become more normalized, people with pathologies don’t have to feel so ashamed about them. The bad news is that lay people and maybe even clinicians, now that our understanding has broadened, have been

ACT THREE: ING Photo provided by Randyl Smith

lumping more and more people into this disorder category.

Now that these disorders have become more common, do you think more people are inclined to prescribe a quick fix for the issue?

It is a bias of mine to say that people are quick to say that there is a pill for that. When we just medicate something with a pill, are we really learning how to cope, how to explore, how to sit through our own discomfort?

I think that is an important life skill. We must be able to experience discomfort and know that we can survive it. I think that through distress and discomfort we can actually grow as humans and become more confident in our own abilities. If we are just medicating that discomfort with pills, then I worry that we are maybe not giving ourselves the credit we deserve. Instead, we need to say this as our mantra: “I am a resilient human being, and I can weather this.”

“I am a resilient human being, and I can weather this.”

Can you share some of your methods that help people to revert from toxic ways of thinking?

There is a whole branch of psychotherapy, called cognitive therapy that explores the messages that people are telling themselves. If your internal monolog is, “you’re stupid, and lazy, and no good” or “life sucks, and it’s never going to get better,” then these things just repeat themselves, and get louder, and exert a more powerful force. There are ways

to get people to change their cognitions, and to try, and think more clearly so that that negativity doesn’t take over. Yoga, pets, friends, social activity, and sleep are a few of my favorites.

I do want to make a note, though, that it is ok to accept low points for what they are. It is ok to say, “This is real, this is happening, and this sucks.” The important part is what you do after you accept what is going on.

We talked about overdependence on medication. Can a person be too dependent on another human?

I have, in general, a lot less concern about that. It’s not that relationships don’t change our biology because they do have the ability to affect our biochemistry, but more so in positive ways.

Can you share some of the coping mechanisms that you recommend?

I love to suggest exercise for people who feel like they can access it. I do not mean getting to a gym because when people are really depressed, suggesting exercise feels like a slap in the —especially when you have zero face­ energy. I am careful not to suggest exercise when I recognize that someone just doesn’t have that capacity in the moment. But, there is robust evidence that looks at the benefits of exercise for mental health. For people who can’t get started with exercise, I start with something small, even if it’s just moving from one room to the next. Just try and get up and activate yourself a little bit.

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OPEN HEARTED PRESENCE Zoë Downing Art Submission

“I have a lot of insecurities and selfdoubt around what I create, which leads to intense discomfort that often holds me back from making and sharing my artwork. There’s a lot of mental dialogue about it not being good enough, and it ends up becoming wrapped up in my sense of self-worth. Over the past month or so, I’ve been doing a lot of inner work in regard to these emotions and beliefs that often take over me.

The work is about self-compassion and reflects my ongoing personal journey with this practice. One of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach, says that “we often distance ourselves from emotional pain—our vulnerability, anger, jealousy, fear—by covering it over with self-judgement.” This has certainly been the case for me, so I’ve begun practicing self-compassion for the ways in which I feel inadequate, and this work is a reflection of that process.

When we’re able to relate to and care for our own suffering, we expand our ability to bring compassion to others as well. I believe this is critical in healing ourselves and our world.”

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IG: @zoedowning

The key aspects of self-compassion are mindful awareness and loving kindness.

Bringing our attention to the ways in which we’re suffering and holding it with care—as Tara also describes it, “Open Hearted Presence.”

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Megan Hickins Book Review

In 1985, Anthony Ray Hinton, a twentynine-year-old self-proclaimed “mama’s boy,” was mowing his mother’s lawn early one hot Alabama morning. He looked over to suddenly see cops on his mother’s porch. He was confused and concerned—even more so when the police began cuffing him without explanation.

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ACT THREE: ING After finding out that Hinton was falsely convicted for two murders and a robbery, everyone around him knew that he was innocent. The judge knew it, and the attorneys that came and went from Hinton’s case knew it. Hinton was sentenced to life in prison. He spent thirty years on death row.

That’s 10,957.3 days or 262,974.6 hours in a five by seven cage with only a bed and a toilet. Thirty years is approximately forty percent of an average male’s lifespan.

Within the pages of Hinton’s memoir, The Sun Does Shine, are feelings of dejection, contempt, sometimes hope, yet subsequent hopelessness as a reader follows Hinton’s fight for freedom and life. The police and other law enforcement had nothing concrete on Hinton. The two murders were pinned on him for a gun that his mother owned—a gun that hadn’t been used in twenty-five years. The most unsettling fact was that law enforcement knew that the firearm had not been used from forensic evidence. Everyone knew he was innocent.

In fact, while being transferred, a lieutenant driving Hinton to Birmingham Jail said:

From this point on, the blaring distain for the injustice within the legal system doesn’t leave the reader.

I still feel residual anger and despair from every time Hinton developed a glimmer of hope, just to have it dashed again and again. Reading this book is like sitting in the backseat of a car headed straight for a cliff. I felt useless. Reading about the pain that Hinton’s mother went through and about the lawyers who only cared about money, I felt enraged. But Hinton doesn’t anymore.

Even after all those years, he believes in happiness. “They took my 30’s, my 40’s, my 50’s. But what they couldn’t take was my joy,” Hinton shared in an interview with ABC News.

“They took my 30’s, my 40’s, my 50’s. But what they couldn’t take was my joy.”

Hinton’s story offers readers a glimpse into the everyday reality of thousands of people across the United

Photos by Jonathan Hidalgo

You know, I don’t care whether you did or didn’t do it. In fact, I believe you didn’t do it. But it doesn’t matter. If you didn’t do it, one of your brothers did. And you’re going to take the rap. You want to know why? […] Number one, you’re black. Number two, a white man gonna say you shot him. Number three, you’re gonna have a white district attorney. Number four, you’re gonna have a white judge.

And number five, you’re gonna have an all-white jury.

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States. Men and women of color still end up like Hinton. For this exact reason, everyone should read this book. Yes, it’s hard to read, and for some, probably uncomfortable. But, the message of this book is more important than the feelings that some may get while reading it.

This memoir portrays the reality we live in today. According to naacp.org, as of October 2016, there have been 1,900 exonerations of the wrongfully accused, and forty-seven percent of those exonerated were African American.

According to a 2020 report from the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, there are currently 2,620 death row inmates as of January 1st. Statistically, as Hinton comments in the book’s Afterword, one out of every ten individuals on death row in the U.S. is innocent. That’s 262 people today—if not more.

Movements to demand justice for unmerited killing, brutality, and arrests against people of color have long 116

been in motion, yet they are finally appearing in the forefront of the American consciousness. This memoir provides one story out of the myriad of accounts just like Anthony Ray Hinton’s. The testimonies of Hinton

“one out of every ten individuals on death row in the U.S. is innocent.” and others like him have been shared; the only thing left to do is change.

One way to change is to learn from our history. Reading this memoir is one such opportunity. Hinton’s story is only the beginning. What we do with this story is where opportunity lies for others to not have to be, as Hinton puts it, “the poster boy for all that is broken in our prison system.”

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DIS-COMFORT Tessa Kauffman Art Submission

“In this work, I explore how I approach change and personal growth. Although it can be unpleasant, discomfort can be a sign that your life is happening. There truly is nothing quite as exciting as the discomfort of life.”

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Comfort is something I try to avoid

It would mean that I am too complacent to change

I crave the feeling of sore muscles

I want my h e to be heavy ad from newness

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What an exhaustingaps rh thought pe

But I get comfort from this discomfort

ying r t s y a w l A nd to push at old avoid sofes plac

use a c e B oves it pr at I can th e e m to chang

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WOMEN, LIFE, AND FREEDOM Charles Schwaebe

Nestled within the mountains of northern Iraq, the southernmost tendrils of an ancient and expansive culture sprawl. This is Kurdistan. The Kurds, known primarily to Americans as our abandoned allies in the fight against ISIS, are known to others as a stateless egalitarian and friendly people with a long and tragic history. While the decisive heroism of the Syrian Peshmerga militias dominates the 120

representation of Kurds in Western media, the Iraqi Kurds are known for their peaceful and self-sustaining mountain lifestyle, marred by violence perpetrated by the Iraqi and Turkish states. Often self-described as anarcho-feminists, the Kurds are a people who pursue autonomy more than nationalism. It is from here that local activist and MSU Denver student Shereen Murad moved, escaping

Photo provided by Shereen Murad

Profile

ACT THREE: ING Photo provided by Alex Ertel

the genocidal persecution of her people by Saddam Hussein in 1997.

Since moving to Colorado, Murad’s presence has become a staple at local civil rights demonstrations, where she advocates for imprisoned Kurdish writer and political activist Abdullah Öcalan.

To date, Öcalan has written ten books while in prison. When I asked what Öcalan means to her, Murad pulled up a sleeve to reveal a small tattoo on her forearm, composed of three words spelled out in Kurdish script. “Jin, Jiyan, Azadî,” she read aloud, pointing to each word in turn. Murad continues: It means Women, Life, Freedom.

That’s one of his [Öcalan’s] main ideas. He said if every woman does not get her freedom of decision, we cannot have freedom. He said it starts with the women. Öcalan and his Kurdish followers believe that like all social problems, gender inequality must be solved from the ground up. It is in in the interest of this goal that Kurdish women have been fighting alongside men in the Kurdish autonomous region of Syria known as Rojava. “If you do not fix the problem from the root, it’s not gonna work,” Murad said.

“I’m from north of Iraq, which as we call it, is Southern Kurdistan,” Murad told me. “They divide Kurdistan

“If you do not fix the problem from the root, it’s not gonna work”

into four parts. North in Turkey, south in Iraq, east in Iran and west is in Syria.” Murad grew up in Iraq in the 1960’s and 70’s, but the actual year of her birth is unclear. “In my legal papers, it’s 1962,” she said. “I am two years older than my age.” As a young adult in 1979, Murad watched as Saddam Hussein rose to power.

For most of Hussein’s reign, the Kurds were heavily persecuted by the Iraqi government. In 1991, after the end of the Gulf War, the United Nations began to intervene in northern Iraq. During this time, Murad’s husband worked with humanitarian groups, transporting water. The redevelopment of Southern Kurdistan was not to last, however. Once the United Nations withdrew from northern Iraq, the Kurds were exposed to Hussein’s persecution again. Some, like Murad and her family, were able to gain refugee status in 1997. Murad considers herself lucky to have come to the United States. She explains: [In Iraq,] we had lots of trouble, you know? If anybody spoke out, they [would] put them in the jail, hang them, and kill them. So that’s 121

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I’m here in a free country. I can speak the language. I have an opportunity to give what I’ve been banned [from sharing].

As minorities in every country they exist in and with no country of their own, the Kurds find themselves as the victim of abuse from many world governments.

For the last 21 years, Öcalan has acted as an exemplary symbol of Kurdish identity as he writes letters from a Turkish prison. “He is the [Nelson] Mandela of the Middle East,” Murad told me, holding up a self-designed t-shirt echoing the sentiment. “He is selfless.” She continues, “He put himself in jail. Just reading and writing, and

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[sending] out his ideas to the people, all over the world now.” A socialist, feminist, and environmentalist, Öcalan first rose to prominence in college after founding the Kurdistan Workers’ Party, a socialist organization that was quickly declared a terrorist organization following a right-wing coup in Turkey in 1980. In 1999, Öcalan was arrested after being expelled from Syria by the government. He spent the next ten years alone on the Turkish prison island of Imralı. To this day, he remains in prison, where he has not been able to communicate with his lawyer since 2011. “In Kurdistan, in all four parts, the governments do not let our voice go out,” Murad told me. “We want to show these governments and powers [that] we love him. We want him,” she said. Historically, the

ACT THREE: ING Photos provided by Alex Ertel

Kurdish have been a nonviolent people. Their deeply entrenched aspirations for autonomy have led to conflicts as subjects of several different conquerors, from Ancient Persians to the Mongols, Alexander the Great, and the Ottoman Empire.

For most of their extensive history, the Kurds have relied on the same defensive strategy. Murad said, The only thing they [can do to] protect themselves, they run to the mountain to keep them safe.

They don’t like [to] kill. They don’t like to hurt anybody. And they live in the caves. That’s like back in the day, but still, any time, like in Saddam’s time.

It’s because of this tumultuous history that the Kurdish identity has become intertwined with the mountains that they so often sought refuge in.

“We have a saying, a Kurd does not have friend except mountain,” Murad said with a chuckle. “Everyone wants our land. Everyone wants to take our things. So that’s why we’re running away.” Though she now lives in Colorado, Murad maintains a strong connection to her roots in Iraqi Kurdistan, raising awareness and sharing her culture with any who are interested in learning about it. “I am very emotion[al] with my culture,

“Everyone wants our land. Everyone wants to take our things.

So that’s why we’re running away.”

and I would like to connect these two cultures together,” she said.

The ideological elevation of “Women, Life, and Freedom” has given Murad a sense of moral purpose in her activist work in America, where she has founded a local Kurdish Cultural Center. However, it remains an uphill battle to raise awareness.

“American people are very good, friendly people, but they don’t know about what’s going on,” she told me.

“When you talk to them, they are very friendly. They want to know more, and they are supportive.” From the mountains of Southern Kurdistan to the mountains of Colorado, Murad’s transnational Kurdish identity remains strong, and she enjoys living in Denver. “I love Colorado because there is a mountain,” she said.

“Kurdish people, they come from other states and they say, ‘Oh, you guys live in Kurdistan!’”

Shereen Murad can be found online through the Kurdish Cultural Center of Colorado’s Facebook page, @KurdishCulturalCenterColorado.

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METROSPHERE

SOLDIERS Allison Nicolosi-Risinger Awarded Art Submission

“I have made this piece in honor of the healthcare workers that have fought so hard to help patients both during and before the COVID-19 crisis.

It takes courage and skill to be a healthcare worker, but unfortunately this extremely important job can be a thankless one. People want healthcare workers to be appreciated and protected, as well as the work involved in healthcare to be respected.

IG: @almakesthis

I hope it is becoming more obvious to America that not everyone has access to healthcare in this country.

COVID-19 helped illustrate the problems with our healthcare system and how close it is to collapse. I think now is an important time to use this piece because the government hasn’t made much progress towards mitigating the effects of the virus on healthcare workers and the people.”

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ACT ONE: DIS

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Metrosphere Team

METROSPHERE

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Julia Nguyen — Editor in Chief

Olivia Ruffe — Managing Editor

Charles Schwaebe — Associate Editor

Jonathan Hidalgo — Photographer

Aaron Middleton — Writer

Megan Hickins — Writer

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Peter Bergman — Advisor

ACT ONE: DIS

Anniston Craddock — Creative Director

Parker Wiese — Art Director

Alex Ertel — Photographer and Writer

Chèna Williams — Writer

Angel Rivera — Writer

Megan Anthony — Writer

Kathleen Jewby — Advisor

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THANK YOU FROM OUR STAFF Thank you for reading and viewing this issue. We hope that this inspires you to submit to the spring issue. Let us know what your favorite article, photo, and art piece was in the magazine! Until next time...

–John Hidalgo Thank you so much for supporting this publication and taking the time to read our work. Thank you to each and every student, professor, and alumni who helped us along the way. Without your contributions, this magazine would not be possible.

–Megan Anthony Thank you, readers, for giving this magazine a reason to exist. Thank you for your supportive comments, the new information you provide us, and for the submissions that make our publication shine. I look forward to seeing you all in person again someday.

–Charles Schwaebe Thank you so much to all the readers who picked this up and enjoyed the stories, art, and feelings put into this magazine! We all worked so hard to make this issue come to life, but it wouldn’t be much without your support.

–Chèna J. Williams It’s been an intense year for all of us. I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to explore this magazine. I’m humbled at the fact that in the midst of everything else going on, you still chose to read our stories and observe our art.

–Aaron Middleton

I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read and look at what each of us has designed and written. It’s been a pleasure working with and for the students and staff of MSU Denver.

I know times have been pretty odd, but hopefully you found some consolation with the content in here.

–Meg Hickins It is always intimidating to share your work with an audience. However, it is also rewarding. Thank you for your submissions and dedication. I am so grateful for the chance to get to share my work with you. Thank you for taking the time to read and view our stories.

–Alex Ertel Helping to design this magazine has been an overwhelming but educational process. The staff and I have put so much time into making this magazine perfect. We want to thank you for taking the time out of your day to dive into our work and the work of all the talented students who submitted their art and literature to us.

–Parker Wiese Thank you so much for picking up this issue of Metrosphere! I really do hope you enjoyed it as much as we did putting it together. Let’s remind ourselves it’s okay to confront uncomfortable situations, especially in these trying times. We can persevere.

–Angel Rivera

ACT ONE: DIS

MSU Denver Resources

Academic Advising.......................................msudenver.edu/advising

Guides students in choosing majors, minors, concentrations, and other

academic programs.

Access Center.............................................msudenver.edu/access

Ensures access and inclusion for all students with disabilities. Pro-

vides accommodations, services, and access to students with either

temporary medical conditions or permanent physical, health, learning,

sensory, or mental health disabilities.

Auraria Library.....................library.auraria.edu/accessibility-services

Assists in research help, retrieval of library materials, as well as

copying and scanning.

Auraria Police Department.................ahec.edu/services-departments/police

A dedicated, full-service police department that operates 24 hours a

day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Campus Safety and Compliance..............................msudenver.edu/safety

Protects and informs the community about pertinent matters related to

crime prevention and safety on campus. Be safe out there.

Care Center..................................msudenver.edu/student-care-center

Provides holistic, non-clinical support to students through the fol-

lowing initiatives: case management, the Roadrunner Food Pantry, the

Student Emergency Retention Fund, and the EPIC Scholars program.

Career Services (C2 Hub)..................................msudenver.edu/career

Provides high-quality, student-focused services to support all aspects

of career exploration.

Center for Equality and Student Achievement................msudenver.edu/cesa

Supports and educates students throughout their MSU Denver journey as well

as advocates for a campus community that promotes equity and inclusion.

Center for Multicultural Engagement and Inclusion............msudenver.edu/cmei

Helps students explore their cultural identity as they navigate their

college journey by connecting them with many resources MSU Denver has

to offer for multicultural students.

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METROSPHERE

MSU Denver Resources

Center for Visual Art........................................msudenver.edu/cva

Offers a diverse, high-quality art experience that brings local and

international artists, MSU Denver students, and the broader community

together to advance the global urban dialogue.

College Assistant Migrant Program (CAMP)....................msudenver.edu/camp

Supports the completion of the first year of college for eligible

migrant and seasonal farmworkers as well as their children by providing

comprehensive outreach and enrollment assistance, academic support,

financial aid, and social opportunities.

Counseling Center.......................................msudenver.edu/counsel

Provides a comfortable environment for students to examine their life

and learn more about themselves so they can realize their potential.

COVID-19 Updates from MSU.....................msudenver.edu/coronavirus-update

Updates on budget, operations, academics, and resources

related to COVID-19.

Dean of Students Office............................msudenver.edu/deanofstudents

Supports students in personal matters or difficult situations impacting

their University experience.

Early Learning Center.....ahec.edu/services-departments/early-learning-center

Provides full- and part-time programs for children 12-months to

5-years-old and summer camp for children through age 8.

First Generation Initiatives......................msudenver.edu/first-gen/home

Helps the 56% of the student body that identities as first generation

in their college journey.

Gender Institute for Teaching and Advocacy..................msudenver.edu/gita

Provides academics and services to students most impacted by the

intersecting oppressions affecting students’ everyday lives.

Health Center......................................msudenver.edu/healthcenter

Exclusively serves AHEC, CCD, MSU Denver, and CU Denver students, faculty,

and staff.

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ACT ONE: DIS

MSU Denver Resources

Honors Program............................................msudenver.edu/honors

Tailors a combination of both academic courses and co-curricular options

to approved applicants.

Immigrant Services Program...................msudenver.edu/immigrant-services

An academic and social support program that aims to increase enroll-

ment, retention, and graduation of undocumented, DACA, immigrant, and

refugee students.

International Studies...........msudenver.edu/internationalstudies/forstudents

International travel is on hold, but you can still learn about and

engage in international educational experiences at MSU Denver.

ISAAC...........................msudenver.edu/speech-language-hearing-sciences

A strengths-based program for students on the autism spectrum that

provides one-on-one and group interaction opportunities, offers support

in achieving academic success and developing meaningful relationships,

as well as prepares them in attaining competitive employment.

IT Help Desk..........................msudenver.edu/technology/helpdeskcentral

Did you forget your password? Need a loaner computer? IT Services Help

Desk provides technological support to students, faculty, and staff.

LGBTQ Student Resource Center.............................msudenver.edu/lgbtq

A tri-institutional office that serves students, faculty, and staff of all genders and sexualities on the Auraria Campus.

Office of Equal Opportunity...................................msudenver.edu/eoo

Investigates allegations of discrimination, discriminatory harassment,

sexual harassment and assault, domestic violence, as well as stalking at

MSU Denver. If you see something, say something!

Office of Financial Aid................................msudenver.edu/financialaid

Offers financial services for undergraduate and graduate students in-

cluding scholarships, FAFSA, work study, and more.

Phoenix Center at Auraria..........................................thepca.org

Auraria’s interpersonal violence resource center provides prevention

education for our campus, free and confidential survivor advocacy, and

a 24/7 helpline to anyone who has been impacted by relationship violence, sexual violence, and/or stalking.

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METROSPHERE

MSU Denver Resources

Student Activities.............................msudenver.edu/studentactivities

Oversees campus events, student organizations, student travel, leader-

ship programs, as well as fraternity and sorority life.

Student Employment...........................................msudenver.edu/se

Provides students with paid jobs to help alleviate a portion of their

educational expenses while gaining experience and leadership skills.

Student Government Assembly.................................msudenver.edu/sga

Formally represents the student body to higher administration and faculty.

Supplemental Instruction................msudenver.edu/supplementalinstruction

Offers free and remote regularly scheduled group study sessions that

are facilitated by SI Leaders (current students who have previously

succeeded in the course).

TRIO Student Support Services..........................msudenver.edu/trio-sss

Assists students with academic requirements, enhances study skills,

and connects them with academic recourses. Available for those who

meet at least one of the following identities: -limited income -first-generation

-have a disability Tutoring Center.........................msudenver.edu/roadways/tutoringcenter

Find the derivative of f(x)=6x3−9x+4... or just visit the place that

offers remote tutoring across a variety of disciplines for students.

Undergraduate Research...........msudenver.edu/undergraduate-research-program

Promotes, supports, and celebrates MSU Denver faculty and student

engagement in undergraduate research activities.

Writing Center.........................................msudenver.edu/writectr

Helps students become stronger, more confident writers by developing

healthy writing processes, metacognitive awareness, and a broad reper

toire of writing strategies. Don’t write good when you can write well!

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UNITY UNITY

comm UNITY comm UNITY comm UNITY comm UNITY

In an era where everything seems to go wrong, we have found ways to make some things, whether on a small or large scale, go right. The United States became a divided nation and is experiencing moments of civil unrest. We have lost friends and family due to political differences, the pandemic and protests. This issue, commUNITY, is about finding the ways we’ve come together, locally and globally to create a new unified whole.

How we’ve creatively adapted to our new normal and trying to find a silver lining. commUNITY is an issue about friendship, fellowship, compassion and acknowledging that even though the world seems to be, literally and metaphorically, on fire we can find a sliver of hope in the good that people are doing.

FALL 2020

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