The Pride LA 10.18.19

10.18 – 10.31.2019 ISSUE NUMBER 23, VOLUME 3

| OCTOBER 18 – 31, 2019

LOS ANGELES

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ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HALLOWEEN More on pages 10-11

Photo by Morgan Genser.

West Hollywood Halloween festivities 2018.

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LOS ANGELES

10.18 – 10.31.2019

10.18 – 10.31.2019 NEWS

CRIME

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LOS ANGELES

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A “MONSTER” AMONGST US

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

Tropics On Sale!

Photo: Facebook

Ed Buck’s Court Hearing Set for Next Month

Political activist Ed Buck, who pleaded not guilty last week to federal drug charges in connection with two overdose deaths at his West Hollywood home, faces a tentative trial date of November 26.

Buck, a wealthy Democratic donor and LGBTQ+ advocate, was first charged in federal court in September after a third alleged overdose victim survived and reported Buck to the police.

Buck is also linked to the methamphetamine that led to the 2017 overdose death of Gemmel Moore as well as the January 2019 death of Timothy Dean. He also faces three additional counts of distributing methamphetamine.

Family and activists have long called on local prosecutors to take action against Buck and heavily criticized Los Angeles County District Attorney Jackie Lacey when she declined to bring homicide charges against Buck in connection with Moore’s death last year. Many have argued that Buck’s status and privilege, coupled with the fact that his purported victims were largely sex workers or homeless, had insulated him from prosecution, according to wehoville.com.

“My heart aches but we are at that point where we will get justice for my brother,” Dean’s sister

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Joyce Jackson said, according to the LA Times. “I just want closure ... and we are moving in the direction to get closure .... I cannot forgive him.”

Moore’s mother, LaTisha Nixon said the deaths could have been avoided if law enforcement has acted sooner.

“We have been in this fight for a long time. It has been a long time coming,” Nixon said. “I am grateful the feds came in and took this case .... I feel the Dean family’s pain.”

Federal prosecutors accuse Buck of “targeting vulnerable individuals who were destitute, homeless and/or struggled with drug addiction, in order to exploit the relative wealth and power imbalance between them,” according to wehoville.com.

According to the indictment, Buck met many of his victims on the dating website Adam4Adam, but he also sometimes used a “recruiter” who “scouted men” on his behalf.

The recruiter was not identified or described further in the court documents.

If convicted in either Moore’s or Dean’s death, Buck faces a minimum of 20 years in federal prison. Buck will remain in custody until his court hearing.

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NEWS

HEALTH

` ⚫ BY STAFF WRITER

10.18 – 10.31.2019

LOS ANGELES

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FIGHTING HIV/AIDS

Be PrEP(ared)

Access to HIV prevention medications got a little easier.

Last week, Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill that would allow pharmacies to sell preventative drugs like pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and post-exposure prophylaxis (PeP) without prescriptions.

“Recent breakthroughs in the prevention and treatment of HIV can literally save lives,” Newsom said in a statement. “All Californians deserve access to PrEP and PEP, two treatments that have transformed our fight against HIV and AIDS. I applaud the Legislature for taking action to expand access to these treatments and getting us close to ending HIV and AIDS for good.”

Senate Bill 150 was authored by Sen. Scott Wiener (D-San Francisco) and Assemblyman Todd Gloria (D-San Diego). PrEP is a once-daily pill for HIV-negative people that reduces risk of infection by up to 99%, and PEP is a 28-day preventative course for people who may have been exposed to HIV. (Similarly, pharmacists are already authorized to furnish emergency contraceptives and the birth control pill without a prescription). Re-

garding PrEP, pharmacists will be able to provide a 60-day supply, after which the patient will need to see a physician to continue. The legislation also prohibits insurance companies from requiring patients to obtain prior authorization before using their insurance benefits to obtain PrEP or PEP. “To end new HIV infections, we must dramatically expand access to PrEP and PEP, yet far too many Californians who need these drugs struggle to access them. SB 159 will keep more Californians HIV-negative and help us end this epidemic. I applaud Governor Newsom for signing this first-in-the-nation legislation to remove barriers to these critical HIV-preventatives.”

Supporters of the bill said it removes barriers for people to take the drug, such as having to wait for a doctor’s appointment, which could take weeks. The California Health Benefit Review Program estimated that the bill would result in more than 700 people obtaining the HIV prevention drugs, leading to 25 fewer cases of new HIV transmissions in the first year of the law‘s implementation, according to the LA Times.

Walking for a Cure

Lace up your sneakers, Los Angles.

AIDS Walk is back and ready to get some steps in.

The theme for the 35th annual AIDS walk is “AIDS Has Met Its March,” which calls upon participants to continue the fight in our efforts to make AIDS history. The walk is approximately four miles and starts and ends at the steps of L.A. City Hall and takes about two hours to complete. The morning kicks off with an aerobic warm-up, followed by opening ceremonies featuring special guests including HIV/AIDS activists and leaders.

A post-walk celebration congratulates walkers, volunteers and supporters. Individuals and Teams can register at no cost and fundraise on www.aidswalkla.org.

Thousands of participants register every year for this pioneer fundraising walk.

AIDS Walk will have free family activities for children of all ages, a band, drag queen entertainers, stilt walkers, acrobatic performances and more! The event is from 8:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Grand Park.

Over the past 34 years, AIDS Walk Los Angeles has drawn hundreds of thousands of supporters to walk, and millions more to donate, raising more than $88 million to combat HIV and AIDS. The funds raised at the event remain a vital lifeline that sustains APLA Health’s care, prevention, and advocacy programs for the over 60,000 men and women living with the disease in Los Angeles County. Proceeds also benefit more than a dozen other local HIV/ AIDS service organizations that are able

Photo: Facebook.

to participate and raise funds through the Community Coalition Initiative (CCI). For more information, visit aidswalkLA.org Los Angeles has an estimated population of 3.9 million people in an area of approximately 470 square miles with a rich diversity of culture and racial/ethnic backgrounds. Since the epidemic began 31 years ago, about 31,000 individuals have been diagnosed with AIDS, 13,000 of them still are living. As of December 31, 2009, there are approximately 27,000 individuals living with HIV or AIDS in the City, according to LACityAIDS.org.

Men account for nearly 90 percent of new HIV/AIDS cases every year, women and transgender individuals making up the remainder. Latinos are highly impacted by HIV/AIDS, accounting for 39 percent of those living with HIV/AIDS, followed by Whites who make up 34 percent. African Americans are disproportionately impacted by HIV/AIDS, accounting for 11 percent of the general population but making up about 23 percent of individuals living with HIV/AIDS.

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10.18 – 10.31.2019

COMMUNITY

PALM SPRINGS

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LOS ANGELES

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CALLING THE DESERT HOME

` ⚫ BY STAFF WRITER

LGBTQ+ Senior Housing in Gay Paradise

More than 39 million people in the U.S. are age 65 years or older including 2.4 million people who identify as LGBTQ+, according to the American Psychology Association.

As the baby boomer generation ages, the senior population will increase from 12.8 percent to an estimated 19 percent in 2030. Psychological service providers and care givers for older adults need to be sensitive to the histories and concerns of LGBTQ folks and to be open-minded, affirming and supportive towards LGBT older adults to ensure accessible, competent, quality care. As GBTQ people age, they find themselves facing unique challenges, including access to information and resources, as well as isolation and loneliness. That’s where Living Out Palm Springs comes in.

“Knowing that too many LGBTQ seniors live in unsafe or even openly hostile environments, we wanted to address this issue that is near and dear to us by creating a safe and beautiful community for those 55 and over. The Living Out development will be the first of its kind in the Southern California area,” said Living Out co-founder and creator Loren S. Ostrow. “Living Out Palm Springs was designed by, invested in and created by members of our community who recognize the unique needs we face as we begin the next chapters of our lives.”

Los Angeles-based real estate development company KOAR International LLC, announced recently that Living Out Palm Springs – an active retirement community designed to meet the unique needs of LGBTQ adults – will break ground this fall.

Living Out Palm Springs will provide a safe, supportive and enriched environment in which LGBTQ seniors can live openly and thrive, according to a press release. LGBTQ seniors currently face very limited options for welcoming and inclusive senior living environments. Living Out communities will celebrate the LGBTQ aging experience in a way that has yet to be realized.

Living Out Palm Springs will be ideal for seniors who live in, travel to or would like to have a second home with resort-like amenities in the celebrated desert community of Palm Springs.

The Pride LA spoke with Ostrow on what residents can expect. Check it out: Can you introduce yourself?

My name is Loren Ostrow. I am a real estate attorney and developer. I have served on the Board of Directors of the Los Angeles LGBTQ Center for more than 20 years, the National LGBTQ Task Force for nine years and the Board of Trustees of Congregation Kol Ami in West Hollywood. My business partner of 40 years, Paul Alanis, has been an extraordinary ally over our four decades of association.

Luann Boylan recently joined us Marketing Director for the Living Out project. LuAnn has served with Loren on the LGBTQ Center’s Board for over 27 years.

In one sentence what is Living Out? Living Out is a luxury condominium community for active LGBTQ 55+ persons in Palm Springs; a community designed to provide LGBTQ seniors a safe, welcoming, inclusive experience where they can live comfortably out as an LGBTQ person.

Can you elaborate more?

Living Out is a nine-acre oasis designed to provide its residents with a five-star, resort-style living experience in historic Palm Springs. Architecturally, Living Out is authentic to its surroundings, referencing the iconic Mid-Century Modern style for which Palm Springs is famous. Our homes feature open floor plans, large lanais, elegant appointments and an exceptional attention to detail, all wrapped in magnificently landscaped grounds and stunning desert mountain views.

At the heart of the Living Out concept is the element of community and we have incorporated opportunities throughout the property for people to come together and enjoy “being home.”

Some of the amenities we are providing that encourage the building of community include: • Resort-style lagoon pool • Lap pool and spa • 4 pickleball courts • 2 bocce ball courts • Putting green • Community BBQ and fire pit areas • Lushly landscaped dog park • Casual dining restaurant • Piano bar • Private screening room • State-of-the-art gym • Game room • Card room • Community gathering room • Grab-and-go coffee shop and community workspace In short, Living Out has been designed to be

the home you have always wanted and the community every LGBTQ person deserves.

Why is there a need for such housing in Palm Springs?

While straight individuals have many opportunities available to them for retirement communities, LGBTQ 55+ people have virtually no opportunities to live openly and comfortably. Unfortunately, one hears stories of LGBTQ individuals and couples being ostracized or discriminated against in the broader retirement world, often being forced back into the closet.

While Palm Springs is one of the most supportive environments for LGTBQ people in the country, as one ages the sense of loneliness can be palpable and I hope to provide a community within a community where people can live comfortably and safely.

What is the story behind the creation of Living Out? I have been thinking about this issue for over 30 years knowing that the LGBTQ community would age as does the general community. Having served on the Board of the LA Center since 1993, I have seen the glaring disparities in the opportunities for LGBTQ people to live in safe, inclusive environments as they age.

Of course, there are non-profit agencies, like the Center, that provide services for LGBTQ seniors who are less financially able to provide for themselves. However, it occurred to me, there are very few options available to members of our community who are financially independent and would like to live in an LGBTQ-focused community that is supportive of and, in fact, celebrates living authentically. Living Out has been designed to be that option.

In what ways does Living Out create an inclusive and safe environment for LGBTQ+ seniors?

Photos: Courtest Living Out.

Celebrating living authentically is the core concept of Living Out, not a byproduct or an afterthought. To create an environment where that concept can be realized requires infusing all of our efforts with a consciousness about what it means to be inclusive and what it takes to feel safe.That has been made possible, in part, by having Living Out envisioned by, designed by, and invested in by members of the LGBTQ community who recognize the unique needs our community faces as we begin the next chapter of our lives.

This consciousness translates into creating living and community spaces that are open, inviting and purposefully designed to support the concept of community, while offering the safety of knowing you are in an environment that is not “in spite of you” but is “because of you.”

What’s in store for Living Out’s future?

Living Out Palm Springs will break ground in December of this year and will take approximately 18 months to complete, making our move-in date as early as June, 2021 but no later than September, 2021. And, as Palm Springs is being completed, Living Out is exploring and developing other venues for active LGBTQ seniors across the country.

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10.18 – 10.31.2019

LOS ANGELES

6

COMMUNITY COMING OUT

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NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

` ⚫ BY STAFF WRITER

Q&A w/ a Therapist: “How Do I Come Out?”

Last week marked the 30th annual National Coming Out Day. This is the day when folks can come out as LGBTQ+ to friends, family and coworkers. Coming out is a powerful experience that helps all people who identify as LGBTQ+. National Coming Out Day, which falls on October 11 every year, brings a face and personal stories to the experience of being LGBTQ+ and can lead to more support for equality and affirmation.

The Pride LA spoke to local therapist John Sovec, LMFT – who is a nationally recognized expert on supporting LGBTQ kids and their families during the coming out process. Check it out: Can you introduce yourself?

I am therapist based in Pasadena who specializes in working with LGBTQ youth and their families during the coming out process, although I do work with LGBTQ people of all ages. My current youngest client is 11 and my oldest is 81. I also travel nationally training caregivers and professionals on how to create LGBTQ affirming practices.

In one sentence, what is Nation-

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al Coming Out Day? National Coming Out Day takes place on Oct 11th each year and celebrates the power of coming as both a personal and political statement.

Can you elaborate more?

This is the day when people of all ages can come out as LGBTQ to friends, family and coworkers. Coming out is a powerful experience that helps all people who identify as LGBTQ. Coming out brings a face and personal stories to the experience of being LGBTQ and can lead to more support for equality and affirmation.

In spirit of National Coming Out Day, can you share one instance when you came out?

How did it go? I came out during High School and had a lot of support from friends and family. I was lucky that my friends found it cool to have a gay friend and were doing their best to find me a date. Having this kind of support and love while coming out is unusual and I feel it is important to recognize the number of people who have a much more challeng-

ing coming out experience.

Why is it an important day for the LGBTQ+ community?

Keeping ones identify hidden takes of lot of effort and can leave a person feeling detracted, tired, depressed and anxious.

Visibility is a key to action for the LGBTQ community both within our family structures and on a political action front. Being seen brings safety to a marginalized community and can bring people together as the catalyst for change.

What kind of work do you do with LGBTQ+ Youth and coming out?

I maintain my private practice where I work with teens and their families to navigate the rough waters of coming out. I also work with many schools to create more affirming policies and campus settings.

What are some topics you help navigate?

When cleints come to work with me, we explore the actual process of coming out, what are the best steps to take to achieve it safely, dating, sex, and exploring the myriad possibilities of sexual orientation and

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NEWS

CenturyCity-WestwoodNews.com

THE PRIDE L.A., The Newspaper Serving Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender L.A., is published by MIRROR MEDIA GROUP. Send all inquiries to: THE PRIDE L.A., 2116 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, CA. Phone: 310.310.2637 Written permission of the publisher must be obtained before any of the contents of this paper, in part or whole, can be reproduced or (c) 2017 The Pride L.A. redistributed. All contents THE PRIDE L.A. is a registered trademark of MIRROR MEDIA GROUP. T.J. MONTEMER, CEO 310.310.2637 x7

Photo: Courtesy.

Pasedena-based therapist John Sovec says that coming out brings a face and personal stories to the experience of being LGBTQ

gender identity.

How can families and allies best support their child when they come out?

I often start parents out with these five tips on how to best support their LGBTQ child • Stay calm. This is probably a moment of shock for all of you. Leave space for it to sink in without having to react immediately.

• Be supportive and let them know how much you love them for exactly who they are.

• Be patient with them as they explore what being LGBTQ means to them.

• Let them know that you understand how hard this conversation is for them.

• Don't expect them to have all the answers about what it means to be LGBTQ. Can you talk on mental health revolving around acceptance and safe home lives for LGBTQ+ youth?

Multiple studies have shown that kids who come out in supportive environments both at home and at school have better school attendance, higher GPA’s, less depression, and better social skills. Having as little as one adult who is open and affirming can have deep and long lasting positive effects on LGBTQ kids as they are coming out.

How can a person tell if they are “ready” to come out?

For each person it is going to be an individual choice. One of the techniques that I use to assist a person who is exploring coming out is to weigh the pressure of staying secretive against the pressure of being out. And when the pressure of being out feels less than the pressure to hide, than that is the time to begin the conversation of how to come out.

For more information about John and his work, visit www.JohnSovec.com and www.GayTeenTherapy.com. For more resources on coming out, visit the HRC website at https://www. hrc.org/resources/national-coming-out-day.

Dr.Dr.Melissa Alexander, Au.D. CCC-A in Thousand Oaks. Prior to her doctoral studies, 3 earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from No-ObligationAlexander 45-Day Trial Dr. Alexander has served Southern California 10.18 – 10.31.2019 California State University Northridge, and a Bachelor 7 of LOS ANGELES he few select impaired since 2010.

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⚫ 8

LOS ANGELES

10.18 – 10.31.2019

10.18 – 10.31.2019 ENTERTAINMENT FILM

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

>

LOS ANGELES

⚫ 9

GIVE IT A WATCH

More Than Just Another Gay Character

In Hollywood, LGBTQ+ characters that are more than just — well, LGBTQ+ — can be hard to come by. Most queer characters are caricatures of what it means to identify as LGBTQ+.

Their whole story arch depends on their queerness.What happens when you create full, rounded characters? You get “Analysis Paralysis.”

Gay son/straight father duo Jason and Ed Gaffney wrote this RomCom that intersects imagination and anxiety in characters that just happen to be gay, rather than another film on the sensationalism of gayness. “Analysis Paralysis” tackles mental illness in a realistic and humorous approach. “…While the issues are serious, the people suffering from them aren’t always walking around in a haze, and do know how to laugh,” a press release states. “Jason T. Gaffney has been struggling with anxiety his whole life and decided to tackle extreme anxiety with a comedic slant, which is not often seen in tales of mental illness.”

The Pride LA spoke with Jason about the creation of such an inclusive project. Check it out: In one sentence, what is Analysis Paralysis?

“Analysis Paralysis” is an LGBTQ romantic comedy where a young man struggling with massive anxiety fights his mental illness by pursuing a relationship with his hot neighbor.

Can you elaborate more?

The story begins when Tyler O’Conner, a young gay author, visits a therapist and discovers that he suffers from an anxiety disorder commonly called “Analysis Paralysis” — an inability to take action without imagining the ways that each possible choice could go wrong. The problem is that, unchecked, the condition will lead Tyler into a state of complete inaction.

To confront the disorder,Tyler decides to fight through his anxiety and ask his cute neighbor, Shane, out for coffee. Despite a flurry of imagined disasters, the date goes well, and Shane and Tyler ultimately become involved.

Against all odds, the relationship moves

forward, but not without every step of the way — sex, moving in together, and meeting Shane’s parents — preceded by an avalanche of negative, albeit hilarious, fantasies. Finally, convinced that Shane is leaving as a result of an uncomfortable interaction with Shane’s mom and dad, Tyler steels himself for what he sees as the inevitable rejection.

But Shane has other plans…

Where did the idea come from?

I wanted to write a comedy. It can get pretty grim these days as the world burns around us, so I really wanted to make people laugh. I think we all really need comedy and laughter in order to recharge so we can fight on.

I was brainstorming story ideas with my longtime co-writer, Ed Gaffney, who also happens to be my father—yeah, I wrote those comedic sex scenes in “Analysis Paralysis” with my dad!

He mentioned a close family friend who had “Analysis Paralysis” when it came to making business decisions. It took him forever to make up his mind.

We immediately leapt upon the idea: what if Tyler, our movie’s hero, struggles with “Analysis Paralysis” and intense anxiety in his everyday life?

And what if he’s also desperate to meet the really cute guy who lives down the street?

Think of everything that can go wrong in a new relationship, and the normal anxiety that comes from things like a first date, a first kiss, the first time having sex with a new partner…

Now ramp it way, way up…

Why is this kind of representation important?

Audiences who’ve seen “Analysis Paralysis” have said they really relate to Tyler’s mental illness—his intense anxiety.

Yes, it’s a comedy, but I think that helps make Tyler even more relatable. We laugh along with him as he vividly imagines the very worst that might happen. (The fart scene! I hear a lot about the fart scene from people who’ve seen and loved the film!)

But I think, particularly here in the dumpster

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fire that is 2019, that we all suffer from anxiety to some degree. I know I do. In fact, my anxiety can become Tyler-like at times.

But in writing and directing Analysis Paralysis, I wanted to take a comedic route because almost all the films that deal with mental illness and anxiety and depression are dark and dramatic. Yes, the issues are serious, but I personally don’t walk around in a somber mood all day, like a sad zombie. I experience every emotion including joy and laughter in between bouts of my anxiety.

I wanted to show that depression and anxiety isn’t one size fits all. Hopefully the film will start a larger conversation about mental illness and the need for people to be honest about what they’re feeling, in order to get the help and support they need!

Why are coming out experiences so important/challenging?

While coming out experiences—and movies about them—are still vital for the LGBTQ community, I intentionally chose not to make “Analysis Paralysis” a coming out story.

In fact, the movie is set in the same inclusive, welcoming world in which I grew up! (I’m well aware of how lucky I am!)

So I wanted to jump into the afterglow of the coming out story. Because LGBTQ people have long rich lives after coming out and those stories are fun to experience, too!

I think it’s important to show the post coming out stories like “Analysis Paralysis” so that people can see that we’re worried about waking up on time to go to work, or if we remembered to call Grandma on her birthday, or if their boyfriend happens to be a criminal lawyer or a lawyer who is a criminal. (When you watch the film that last part will make sense!)

What do you hope viewers take away from the film?

First! We all have anxiety. (Again, just look at what’s going on all around the world…) But you are not alone and you are not broken!

We are all fighting to make this world a better place where mental illness can be talked about openly and without stigma, and that the future will be a world where LGBTQ people will be loved for who they are. There are a lot of us fighting for this future and, as with marriage equality, I’m convinced that love will win!

“Analysis Paralysis” is available on Amazon, iTunes, and Google Play, and via streaming on Dekkoo.

⚫ 10

OPINION

ADVICE COLUMN

` ⚫ BY AIDAN PARK

10.18 – 10.31.2019

LOS ANGELES

>

DEAR AIDAN

DEAR AIDAN: Compromising w/ Hubby on Halloween?

Dear Aidan I love going out and partying on Halloween! I love the costumes and all the fabulousness that comes with Halloween. My husband on the other hand is not a very celebratory person when it comes to Halloween! His suggestion for us was that we ought to stay in and run a "Horror Movie Night" with our closest friends for Halloween and give out candy! I was like WHAT? I suggested we go out but he seems really set against it. I guess it's okay but I really

Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

feel like I am sacrificing a lot by being with him as this issue comes up a lot but I love him. What should I do?

Dear Monster Masher!

You are absolutely entitled to do what you want to do for Halloween and you should be able to go where you want to go and be who you want to be and be as fabulous as you want!! That being said...

Your partner ALSO is entitled to do what he pleases and feel as comfortable and easy as he wants on Halloween! So.. really... both of you like doing different things and have different values here but no one is "wrong" I would not try to change him or convince him or corrale him into doing what you want to do any further.You have already suggested it, and he had a counter suggestion. In fact he seemed SET AGAINST it.When someone is set against something it is best if you do not push the topic. It's like trying to make someone behave exactly how you want them to behave so you hammer them into place and it will only make them resent you later. Like trying to turn a top into a bottom. Like. it happens oh so often. No one likes it. It GETS MESSY. So after talking to them a few times about it. If you continue encountering resistance... STOP. This is where you DO NOT want to go. Creating a narrative such as "If he really loved me he would do this for me" or "he doesn't care about me" or "he doesn't care about my experience" I hear people go here a lot but if you think about it (if you do want to go here) are you caring about HIS experience? are you caring about the way HE feels and HIS values? He could really say the same thing about you "If he really loved me then he would not push me to do something I don't want to do" ahh! Trust me that is a thought train you do NOT want to be on!! It's a HEARTACHE nothin but a HEARTACHE. and it WILL HIT YOU

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WHEN IT'S TOO LATE. Thanks Bonnie Tyler (I am totally dating myself and not in a good way) I would suggest dropping the problem and looking TOWARD a solution that is emotionally focused. What do I mean by that? I mean what is it that each of you are looking to accomplish EMOTIONALLY during Halloween? You might want "FUN, EXCITEMENT, ENERGY" and your partner might want "COMFORT, EASE, RELAXATION". So instead of complaining that he is not COMPLYING to what you want why don't you guys have a discussion which addresses how you might BOTH be able to have this experience and try to think creatively?

Once you start looking toward a solution that is emotionally focused you might be able to come up with some creative solutions! Like you guys MIGHT deal with trick or treaters and watch movies til he goes to sleep at 11 and you can

go party after, OR you can go to a movie mania where there is a dancing floor area, OR... OR OR OR. If you actually look toward a solution there are a million ways for you both to accomplish what you want. It MAY not look like exactly how you want (Your BF NEXT TO YOU ENJOYING PARTYING LIKE YOU DO) but you can still accomplish what you are going for and so can he.

He is just as entitled to his experience as you.

Stay open to solution and quit being stuck in the problem.

Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

What are YOU doing for Halloween? Tell the Pride LA via social media or at amy@thepridela.com fora chance to be featured!

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10.18 – 10.31.2019 ENTERTAINMENT HOLIDAYS

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

>

LOS ANGELES

HALLOWQUEEN

West Hollywood Halloween Carnival 2018.

Photo: Morgan Genser.

2019 Halloween Guide It’s the most wonderful time of year!

That’s right, boo’s , ghouls and everyone inbetween – it’s Halloween!

But where to go? After all, it is a Thursday this year... Fear not, dear readers. We have compiled a Pro’s and Con’s list for you to peruse.

1. West Hollywood – A classic option. This will probably promise the most debautchery for those looking for a frighteningly good time. This year’s West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval will take place on Thursday, October 31 from 6-11 p.m. on a one-mile stretch of Santa Monica Boulevard between Doheny Drive and La Cienega Boulevard.

Staged over a one-mile stretch of Santa Monica Boulevard/Historic Route 66, the Halloween Carnaval will feature several areas with live DJs who will entertain wildly dressed crowds for a one-of-a-kind experience.

Pro: Well, it is iconic. How can you count yourself gay if you’ve never had the true queer halloween experience?! Imagine the fun and festivities of WeHo on a regular weekend. Now imagine everyone in their best costumes.

Con: It is in West Hollywood, which is like a million miles away, especially in stilletos and synthetic wigs. It’s also a huge commitment fora work night, right? Or is my age showing?

2. Party at a Bar – There are countless gay bars across Los Angeles ripe with

Sexy Nurses and knock-off Pennywises a-plenty. Plus, you know – so much boooooz! There’s the costume contest at the Falcon in Long Beach, or there’s Halloween Queer Prom Night at Akbar in L.A. to consider.

Pro: It will probably be less crowded to go anywhere besides West Hollywood. I me, really – we’re here to drink and dance, not wait in lines, right? Plus this way you get the chance to meet some new cuties and not so cuties in cool masks!

Con: Again – it is a Thursday night, people. Hasn’t anyone heard of a hangover?

Plus, I’m spending all this money to look this good to hang out in a bar I go to every weekend? Where’s the excitment?

3. Stay In – Honestly, I think I’ve already sold myself on this option without even realizing it. You can have a kickback with some friends, carve some pumpkins, watch scary movies, and maybe even pass out candy to trick-or-treaters ... if you haven’t eaten it all by now.

Pro: You don’t have to worry about a big fancy costume, unless you really want to. Heck, invest in a nice new pair of cozy jammies instead and park it right in front of the TV for a scary movie marathon.

Con: People might call you boring. But they’re the fools that will be popping ibuprophan in the morning!

What are YOU doing for Halloween? Tell the Pride LA via social media or at amy@ thepridela.com fora chance to be featured!

⚫ 11

⚫ 12

ENTERTAINMENT PODCASTS

` ⚫ BY STAFF WRITER

10.18 – 10.31.2019

LOS ANGELES

>

I’M ALL EARS!

What To Do Show: with Two Peas in a Pod(cast)

Can you introduce yourselves?

Hey! I'm Aidan Park and this is my indefatiguable partner in podcasting and occasional shenanigans, Jamie Roddy.

Jamie :Yeah! What he said! We do a fun comedy podcast called the What To Do Show and we've partnered with the world famous Laugh Factory in Hollywood!

How/why did you both get into the entertainment industry?

A: haha! Have you met me? Or both of us?

Well it actually started in High School when i did a musical...Which was a natural fit because We're both so Loud (ok...maybe I'm the loud one here, but we're both so OUT there that entertaining was what we're both born to do) I started in the arts because I was severly depressed in High School as a barely english speaking in closet little gay boy with only Designing Women and Golden Girls as his pseudo gay role models.. (I mean in the 90sYIKES). I was happy to find theatre and the arts where more people like me were accepted.

And did I mention that I was LOUD? J. He is so loud..it's true! Haha. But I'm proud of the work we're doing to spread the message that anything other than perfect tolerance for all gender identities and proclivi-

ties is absolutely gauche. And Aidan is a great gay goodwill ambassador.

What has it been like being an out LGBTQ+ in the Entertainment Industry?

A. You know.. when I used to do musical theatre and looking for roles I tried to be... umm.. butcher.. but honestly I am one of those people who can't fake anything... I mean... i guess I passed well enough to kiss girls on stage but... Like it makes me crazy to be somehting Im not! Personally I came out at 15 and never looked back.

I love my LGBTQ+ community because we are some of the most compassionate and progressive thinkers on the planet. We're incredibly welcoming, and I am so proud to see how we've managed to become mainstream in these last few decades.

Still work today, but I'm proud to do my part to further the movement.

J. I'm a mostly straight woman who stands for love in all forms. I'm what an advocate looks like, and I'm grateful to my core for the messages we've been moved to share with the public who is open minded. Every step closer to pansexuality and omnisexuality is one step further from shame, hate, and bigotry.

Why start a podcast? What was

the inspiration?

A: The podcast idea came from my advice column. I've lived through alot of trauma in my few years on this planet, and I've been moved to share the knowledge I've had to learn to cope with these issues. I was an undocumented gay korean immigrant raised by single grandma in govt housing and Im a recent widow... so.. umm.. lots of drama! But Ive always been into self development! I'm gone through neurolinguistic programming training as one of these modalities, for instance, among others. Then Jamie came along with essentially the same idea, and the stars were aligned and we started recording within a week of meeting eachother.

J: Yeah...the stars were really aligned with our meeting. Between his gay male perspective, and my mostly straight single mother perspective, we're able to help almost every advice seeker by calling them on their blind spots so they can rectify their own point of view on any situation. We call people on their BS so they can be their best selves! And we're finding that the problems that people have, whether gay, straight, bi, post or pre op transgender, pansexual (and everything fluidly in between) are universal. We end up telling people a lot of times that for instance: their egos are

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blinding them to a situation, or we show them that they're not living their own truths. Universal advice that anyone can put to use.

A: And alot of humor. If you can't take a joke, don't call us!

J: Yeah...we're probably going to gently make fun of your foibles.

A: Gently???!! Ha right girl! Didn't you tell that one caller that you hoped she was pretty because she sounded so dumb?

J:Well she was sending money to a person she met on Words with Friends who lived on an "oil rig" who she never met in real life. So....yeah...I really really do hope she's pretty (laughs) What is the podcast about?

A: Our show "The What To Do Show" is a comedy advice podcast. It champions open mindedness and because of my exposure as a gay comic, a lot of our callers are in the LGBTQ+ community.

J: We give great advice and have a lot of fun doing it. But I'm especially proud of the education we're able to bring the general population about the LGBTQ+ community. We're really showing that these interpersonal problems people have are the same no matter what's going on in the sheets, or kitchen, or burger shack bathroom! No judgement here...just jokes. and GOOD ADVICE Where do you draw inspiration for each episode?

A: We never know who is going to call or what random stories they're going to have for us. We can go from a straight girl talking about a tinder date who brought over a well used DIY dildo made from a repurposed chainsaw (yes! that really happened) to a former meth addict with in-law issues to a freshly out gender fluid young person wondering how to meet more people in their LGBTQ+ community.

When does it launch? How can people find it?

J: We launch this month! Everywhere podcasts are heard. The Laugh Factory is plugged in to at least 10 different podcast networks, so good luck escaping us! haha A: Yeah! You're all going to love listening as much as we love making it. What To Do with Aidan Park and Jamie Roddy!

Follow us @Whattodoradio Whattodoshow.com Follow Aidan @Aidanparkshow

10.18 – 10.31.2019

LOS ANGELES

⚫ 13

Oingo Boingo Former Members Reprise Oingo Boingo Dance Party Only on October 31 at The Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills

As Halloween approaches Oingo Boingo Former Members -- featuring original members of the legendary ‘80s group -- are topping off the spooky holiday with a special Halloween night concert at The Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills, capped off with a costume contest featuring cash and prizes.

Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez explains, “Oingo Boingo Former Members have always had a ‘Day of the Dead’ festive view of the death. After all, ‘No One Live Forever,’ So every Halloween we celebrate our lives and our passed loved ones celebrate with us, it's always our ‘Dead Man's Party.’

Who could ask for more!!”

At the show, fans can expect to hear a number of Oingo Boingo hits including “Dead Man’s Party,” “Weird Science,” “We Close Our Eyes,” “Only A Lad,” “Just Another Day,” “Stay,” “No One Lives Forever,” “Who Do You Want To Be,” “Grati-

tude,” “Private Life,” and many more.

To quote legendary DJ Richard Blade of The World Famous KROQ and SiriusXM’s 1st Wave fame, Oingo Boingo Former Members remains, “the best Oingo Boingo band until Hell freezes over.”

Johnny “Vatos” explains further, “Most of these songs were written during the Reagan administration.

The songs still point out unresolved ways of social injustice…’Grey Matter.’”

Formerly known as Oingo Boingo Dance Party, Oingo Boingo Former Members features original ‘80s and ‘90s era Oingo Boingo members Johnny "Vatos" Hernandez (drums/ jefe), Sam "Sluggo" Phipps (saxophone), Carl Graves (keyboard/vox), Steve Bartek (guitar), and John Avila (bass), along with Brendan McKian (vocals), Mike Glendinning (guitar/ vox), Freddy Hernandez (bass), Brian Swartz (trumpet), and Mariel Austin @ROMANCEATTACKRH

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⚫ 14

LOS ANGELES

10.18 – 10.31.2019

10.18 – 10.31.2019 POWER BALLADS

BY ERIK AGARD AND ALEX BRIÑAS / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

NY TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE

⚫

LOS ANGELES 15 STAR GAZING

By Electra V. Loveridge

89 Batman’s favorite rapper?

91 Revivalists, for short 93 Not only that but also 95 Singer Sumac 96 The Avalanche, on sports tickers 97 Make do with a lesser option 99 Thor’s favorite rapper?

101 Actress Thurman 102 32° Fahrenheit, in Celsius 103 Parisian street 104 ____ volente (God willing) 105 Old-fashioned provider of directions 107 Completely set 109 Sir and madam 112 Electro’s favorite singer?

114 What the musical artists in this puzzle would form if they all performed together?

116 Decompose 117 Let breathe, as stinky shoes 118 Tangent line?

119 Princess Fiona, after sunset 120 One begins, “Thou still unravish’d bride of quietness” 121_ ___-turvy 122 Chocolate cup inventor H. B. ____ 123 Pained cry

1

DOWN

24 Things sailors spin 26 Late afternoon hour 29 Some economic figs.

32 Tournament bridge players, typically 35 Stick-to-it-iveness 36 Santa ____, Calif.

37 Speak out against 38 City by the Bay, informally 39 “Why, you little …”

43 Several quarter turns?

45 Jay with jokes 46 Starting squad 47 Speak up, and then some 49 ____ Brand, two-time N.B.A. All-Star 51 Boo-boo 53 Good trait in a housemate 56 “Jeez, wasn’t expecting that!”

57 For rent 59 Test for fit

2

3

4

17

18

23

5

7

8

9

19 24

31

32

36

37

41 49

55

50

33

34 39 44 52

62

83

84

89

64

78 86

90

91

101

80

111

88

92

93

94

103

114

117

118 121

122

63 Song with the lyric “A loko e hana nei” 65 Things equestrians have on hand?

66 ____ dish 67 What 14-Across will do if you miss a turn 68 Fruit-salad ingredients 69 “____ bon” 71 Pup grown up 72 Uptown 74 “____, won’t you blow your horn?” (old lyric) 77 Cold summer treat 79 Puerto Rican city that shares its name with an explorer 80 System of roots?

81 Part of a so-called “grand tour” 82 Trade barbs or blows 84 Like some saws and bobsleds

Answers

95 100

104

108

P E T R I

S E A L G R I T T A B S

R E C A L C U L A T E

This Week’s Sudoku Puzzle

110

70

99

113

120

82

65

87

98

107

116

81

60

79

102

112

47

74

85

106

59

73

97

46 54

69

77

96

16

22

45

58

68

76

15

40

53

63

72

105

30

57

67

75

14

29

51

61

71

13

26

43

56

66

12

21

38

42

48

11

25 28

35

10

20

27

1 Things the police may keep on suspects 2 Narrow cut 3 [legally covering our butts here] 4 Clickable item 5 Boom ____ 6 Remit in advance 7 Digital greeting 8 “Stay in your ____!”

9 Approximately 10 Untroubled 11 Divine bovine?

12 Timeline sections 13 Wee bit 14 Destined for greatness 15 Opening in cosmetology?

16 Molt 18 Woodard with four Emmys 21 Covalent bonds of a carbon atom, e.g.

6

T R O D

1 Agcy. for Kennedy and Reagan 4 Push 9 Positive quality 14 Provider of directions, for short 17 Penne ____ vodka 19 Around 20 Claw 22 “Intriguing!”

23 Aquaman’s favorite singer?

25 The Human Torch’s favorite band?

27 ____ Edberg, two-time U.S. Open tennis champion 28 With child, informally 30 Nicely muscled 31 Canine warning 32 Feminine-hygiene product 33 Seashore feature 34 Oriental, e.g.

35 The Hulk’s favorite band?

38 Does 110, say 40 Sculptor/collagist Jean 41 Staff 42 Number between cinque and sette 43 Mama ____ Elliot 44 Iceman’s favorite band?

48 Bermuda, e.g.

50 Sweetly sing 52 14-pound unit 54 Australian friend 55 The Flash’s favorite singer?

58 Adamant refusal 60 Animator’s frame 61 “Your” of yore 62 Bit of progress 64 “Seriously?”

66 Front of a vessel 68 Magneto’s favorite band?

70 Quaint agreement 71 Comment advising you to set your sights a little lower?

73 Low tie 74 Response to “You have something on your face,” maybe 75 List-ending abbr.

76 Gobbles (down) 78 Spider-Man’s favorite band?

83 Smell ____ (sense something fishy) 85 Like Hägar the Horrible 87 ____ Martin 88 “Enough already!”

A F R O

ACROSS

109 115 119 123

86 Supplication 90 “What did Delaware?” “I don’t know, but ____” (classic joke) 92 University in North Carolina 94 “Feel me?”

98 “____ fugit” 99 Gooey chocolate treat 100 Public transit system 103 Be economical with 105 Lead-in to -centric 106 Stepped 107 Italian dear 108 Victim of a revolution 109 What the upright yoga pose vrikshasana simulates 110 It’s worth a little more than a dollar 111 Violently send out 113 Stridex target, informally 115 Mag personnel

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Today is a perfect day to start that new job or project you have been considering. With both Mercury and the Moon in your 8th House of Death and Regeneration it’s a great time for new beginnings. Harness this positive energy and focus on creating.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The time is right for communication. It’s the perfect night to initiate that big talk you’ve been putting off with your partner or loved one. Even if you both have opposing viewpoints you will find that you share some common ground.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Geminis may find themselves face to face with a health issue they have been trying to ignore. It’s not likely to be serious, but it certainly will get worse if you don’t get some medical attention. Your life and well-being will be improved once it receives attention!

CANCER (June 22-July 22) You are feeling a surge of creative energy today. The moon has moved into your 5th House of Creativity promoting new ideas for creative projects. You are feeling inspired, and your ideas will be well-received by others. Be sure to speak up and share.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) It’s all about home today. You will feel nurtured and renewed by spending time with those you care about in the place you care about most. Spend the day appreciating the life you have worked so hard to create.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today is a great day for you to speak what’s in your heart. The Moon has moved into your 3rd House of Communications, allowing emotional communication to be front and center. Those close to you will appreciate your ability to show your softer side.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You may be feeling overly emotional about your possessions or money today. You feel you have worked hard for what you have and are worried it could be taken away unfairly. Let go of things gracefully and expect that what you need will come back to you when the time is right.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) You may be a little too focused on yourself today. You have been brooding over a certain personal issue and it has been taking up every last ounce of your energy.

Take a break from this pattern of obsession and focus your energy on the outside world.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You are at risk for saying the wrong thing today. You are known for your honest personality and those close to you adore you for always saying what’s on your mind. You may need to exercise a little caution today though.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You may find yourself focusing on friends today. This is a welcome change after being so committed to work in recent days. Spend time with those who understand you the most. You have a great group of supportive people around you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You are focused on your career today. Recently you may have felt a little uncertain about your goals and direction at work. With Mercury and the Moon both in your 10th House of Career, today is the perfect day to make some long-term plans for the future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Today is a great day to open yourself up to new ideas and experiences. You could be stuck in a rut, doing the same activities day after day. Expand your horizons and expose yourself to some interesting people and places.

T W O M A N

S A L L A I L L T E F G R R E E O D S L E A Y L T O N

I M P E L C I R C A Y O C E A N A N P R E G R P A D D N D A Y S P S E I C A S C R O O N O R S W I F T H Y I N R O W M E T A L O T E O N E W O L F S T N O R S E A Y N E N E L S E T T L A Z E R O S C E M E N K Z A P P A A I R O U T T O P S Y

T S A R A L O H A O E

R E U S E

A S T E A R G E U N E E S S T I D I N E S S

M U D P I E C E S T S A C R E D C O W

E T R A T A D E S T R S A O L D N E O N T F O R A Y D O P I N O N N A Y C H A E D T I E R G D E S E

G O F I O N U G R P P L M A C R E E S I N E S T Y M O L O G Y

M E T R O

E U R O

S P E W S P A R

R O M E

Y E L L

A T E A M P O R E

S H E D

⚫ 16

LOS ANGELES

10.18 – 10.31.2019

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