The Pride L.A. 2.8.19

2.8 – 2.21.2019

ISSUE NUMBER 08, VOLUME 3 | FEBRUARY 8 – 21, 2019

Honoring

LOS ANGELES

Black History Month in the Queer Community

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BLACK HISTORY MONTH

⚫ BY HENRY GIARDINA

BLACK, QUEER AND PROUD L.A.’s Queer POC community has always been a strong part of the city’s culture.

Black History Month has been a contentious subject since its official creation in 1970. Is one month – and the shortest month of the year, at that – really enough time in which to pack in all the accomplishments and milestones reached by Black Americans? Not by a longshot. When it comes to celebrating Black History Month here in L.A., there’s a lot of history, and celebration, to pack into 28 short days.

Where to begin? With Josephine Baker, of course. Not only was the famous, boundary-busting actor the subject of a play in DTLA a few years ago as well as an undercover spy during WWII, she played frequent gigs here in the City of Angels.

Notably, at the Ahmanson Theater in the 1970s and during a tour in the 1940s. Baker

fought against segregation all her life. Although her early films and revues made her out to be a glamorized, exoticized version of herself, Baker pushed hard against the trend of seeing Black female performers as hyper-sexualized figures in American culture. Before Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne made history as featured Black female performers working within the Hollywood studio system, Baker paved the way.

She left her hometown of St. Louis for Paris just in time to become a sensation during the first World War. She was one of the first Black performers to get a leading role in prestige films. And she was queer as hell.

The openly-bisexual Baker had relationships with Harlem Renaissance players like Clara Smith. Although her playful, famous banana dance, in which she would perform for French audiences topless, wearing nothing but a banana grass skirt, turned her into a sex symbol early on, Baker was always in control of her image and her career. By the 1940s, she had become so infamous across Europe that she was poached to become a spy for the Allied forces. She ended her life performing, often in Los Angeles, and

Photos: Wikipedia.

Josephine Baker was Black, queer, and an L.A. icon.

looking after 11 adopted children.

Baker’s legacy doesn’t stand alone. There are more Black, queer players whose influence shaped the history of Los Angeles, as well as the way the Gay Rights movement was formed, than most are aware of. Take Bayard Rustin, the Martin Luther King, Jr. disciple whose gayness allowed him to take an intersectional approach to Civil Rights in the 1960s. Rustin fought for all minorities to be treated equally. The way he viewed the fight for progress directly

influenced the actions of queer folks in Los Angeles and San Francisco fighting for equal treatment even before Stonewall. In later life, Rustin worked to bring the effect of the AIDS crisis on Black queer men to light, stating in a speech: “Twenty-five, 30 years ago, the barometer of human rights in the United States were black people. That is no longer true.

The barometer for judging the character of people in regard to human rights is now those who consider themselves gay, homosexual, lesbian.”

Not everyone who fought for equal rights is remembered as such a towering figure. There are millions of people whose legacies remain unknown, such as the designer L’Tanya Griffin, a costume designer working within the studio system during the 1940s and 50s, and the many Angelenos who frequented Val Verde Park, known as the “Black Palm Springs,” during the years of segregation. This month, it’s up to us to honor the complex, beautiful, difficult lives of the queer POC artists, workers, and activists who have historically made this city great.

2.8 – 2.21.2019

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TRANS MILITARY BAN

` ⚫ BY JORGE PANIAGUA

Devoted to His Country, Dismissed by Trump

Transgender U.S. Army veteran, Rudy Akbarian, shares how the Trump Administration's transphobic policymaking will not undo his patriotism.

Rudy Akbarian is a transgender veteran of the United States Army.

Akbarian, a descendent of Armenian ancestry, is not only filled with patriotism for serving in his country’s military but he is also willing to die for his country and defend its national ethos. Its ethos are, essentially, an amalgamation of ideals which include democracy, liberty and equality.

He is often asked, in light of Donald Trump’s presidency and, most recently, the Supreme Court-approved ban on transgender individuals serving in the military, how

Photos: Courtesy Rudy Akbarian.

Rudy Akbarian, who served in the military as a specialist in E-4, pictured at the shooting range during training.

he can remain devoted to serving a country which, oftentimes, seems to disown people like him.

His response to that question: “I feel like the white man is not this country. This coun-

try is everything before — it’s diversity. This country is love, acceptance and willingness to love your neighbor and help your neighbor. That’s how I remember this country.

Donald Trump has just given the racist white

man a voice and that’s not what America is.”

Akbarian’s family lineage is one deeply affected by political oppression and violence overseas. For example, his great grandmother survived the Armenian genocide — she witnessed her mother’s beheading at the tender age of seven years old. Furthermore, Akbarian’s parents came to the United States as refugees from Iran — seeking asylum from violent political turmoil.

“America saved my family’s life because they took them in,” Akbarian. “I’m the first born, the first natural born American. I have a lot of patriotism, a lot of love for this country — for how it opened its doors to my family and protected my family. I felt that I needed to do the same by protecting this country.”

Akbarian served in the military for six years — before he retired, he served as a specialist in E-4. In essence, he was one rank short of becoming a full-fledged sergeant.

He began medically transitioning – while in the military – at the age of 23. He start-

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TRANS MILITARY BAN

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MILITARY,

from page 4 ed the process as soon as he returned from boot camp and advanced individual training — he was merely a private in the military then.

Back in July 2017, President Trump tweeted that one of his reasons for banning transgender people from the military was due to the “tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail.” Akbarian claims he never asked for any financial assistance from the military during his transitioning process. Furthermore, his intent was far from disrupting the unit he worked in — Akbarian wanted to keep his transition as discreet as possible.

After beginning hormone replacement therapy, the facial changes came sooner than expected.

“I didn’t think that I was going to see changes so fast but, little did my Armenian-self know, that I was going to grow facial hair like I just came out of the womb with it,” Akbarian said. “I’m a really hairy guy.”

At the time, the military was not “okay” with transitioning, according to Akbarian. He figured that he could begin transitioning and hide the fact until the facial changes become too evident to remain a secret. However, within his first year of hormone replacement therapy, his body hair became adamant. He knew then that he needed to begin having conversations with his fellow soldiers about why he suddenly had a five o’clock shadow at eight in the morning.

He was wary of backlash from his higher-ups in the military — for instance, he assumed he would eventually have to resign from the military as a result of being trans-

Transgender U.S. veteran, Rudy Akbarian, says he misses the feeling of putting on his uniform everyday. He still feels great patriotism for the country he served for six years.

gender. However, Akbarian was greeted with tolerance, respect and a sincere desire, from his colleagues, to better understand his situation.

“They [commanding officers] were 100

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percent supportive and, most of the time, they were like, ‘We don’t even see gender; We just see soldiers,” Akbarian said. “You got a mission, go do the sh-t, get it done and that’s it. We had a bunch of cis-girls and cisboys in the unit. Everybody kind of mingled within each other. We saw each other as family.”

His unit was a progressive one — so much that one day a U.S. Army major came out to his unit’s location to provide soldiers with “transgender training.” This program would provide cisgender soldiers with essential information to better understand their transgender counterparts in the military.

“It was incredible,” Akbarian said. “I stepped up [during the training] and answered a bunch of questions that people had that they were too scared to ask. It was a really enlightening, eye-opening experience for both me and the people who were in my unit.

“Everytime I went on base, everytime I put on the uniform — I was happy to do so. In fact, I miss it so much. I think about it everyday.”

When Akbarian heard the news regarding the Supreme Court granting the Trump Administration’s request to bar transgender individuals from serving in the military, he said that he felt pained.

“I thought it was a joke,” Akbarian said.

“Then when I saw my trans military facebook friends talking about it and them freaking out, I was heartbroken. How? How can this happen in America? And how can somebody who has never served a day in life in his life — who avoided the draft God knows how many times — try to tell us that we can’t serve when we just want to protect the country?”

Akbarian said he never felt discriminat-

ed against while in the military. In fact, he felt at home. Although there were awkward moments — for example, there was one occasion when Akbarian was unsure which gendered showers were appropriate for him.

The soldier felt welcome among his peers.

“I’m happy that I’m no longer enlisted — that I’m a veteran now, technically,” Akbarian said. “I wish I could have re-enlisted but I’m glad that I didn’t because [the news] didn’t hurt as much. I’m not thinking about what I’m going to do next or where I’m going to go. But it still hurt, because there are people I know who are doing 20 years, who are doing multiple years, who are in such high ranks, who are trans, in the military and serving so honorably and courageously that are about to lose their career.”

Following his departure from the military, Akbarian worked as an employment specialist for the Los Angeles LGBTQ+ Center. At The Center, he assisted homeless LGBTQ+ youth in finding employment opportunities.

He is currently attending barber school.

“I offer haircuts to the LGBTQ community — free haircuts, I don’t take any money from LGBTQ people. Just totally donation-based,” Akbarian said.

He still feels a significant amount of pride and patriotism as a veteran of the U.S. army.

He said that he hopes the upcoming presidential election will bring about a progressive leader — one that both Democrats and Democratic Socialists could get behind to support.

“If Donald Trump wins 2020, he’s already destroyed America. He’s exposed the most horrid, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic people that live and exist in America,” Akbarian said. “I don’t really know how much worse it can get. I’m really scared for America.”

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2020 PRIMARIES

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A Queer Eye on Democratic Candidates A condensed look at who’s running for the 2020 primar election, who’s likely to run and how their foregoing LGBTQ+ advocacy ranks.

With the 2019 State of the Union Address fresh on our minds, many look to see just who’s announcing their bid for the 2020 primary elections. Among these candidates: former Housing Secretary Julian Castro, Hawaiian Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard and California Senator Kamala Harris. So far, a total of eight candidates have confirmed that they are definitely running, while another five are all but certain. Other candidates likely to run in this upcoming election include politicians such as Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders and former

Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. In terms of pro-LGBTQ+ candidates, West Hollywood Mayor John Duran said that he believes that the Democratic Party holds an “embarrassment of riches.” The lineup of 2020 Democratic candidates is beaming with politicians holding their own respective track-records of supporting LGBTQ+ people, according to Duran. He’s right — most, if not all, Democratic candidates running in the upcoming election have a history of supporting the community either through policymaking or activism.

“When I first got involved [in politics] in the 1970s, there were not many politicians who were supportive of LGBT rights,” Duran said. “They were the exception rather than the rule. Today it’s pretty much a bottom line for a lot of Democratic politicians — that they must be supportive of equality issues and that includes LGBT rights.”

From formerly supporting same-sex marriage bans, to long-time allies, here’s the low-down on four candidates you might see on the 2020 Primary ballot.

Kamala Harris Aside from being a major proponent for middle-class tax cuts, Harris has championed a liberal civil-rights agenda as a Senator from California. This agenda, of course, includes a track-record of supporting the LGBTQ+ community through pro-LGBTQ+ policy making. From actively opposing California’s same sex marriage ban (Proposition 8), to co-sponsoring a bill in the California Legislature eliminating the “gay panic” defense in court cases, to co-sponsoring the Equality Act, which provides consistent legal protections for LGBTQ+ people, according to The New York Times.

Duran, who helped Harris during her campaign for California attorney general by hosting a fundraiser for her, said that he believes in Harris’ capability to deliver as president.

Furthermore, he praises her consistency with LGBTQ+ activism and policy making.

Bernie Sanders Although Sanders has not confirmed that he is running for president, the Vermont senator is “likely to run” according to The New York Times. The Democratic Socialist, whose signature issues include making “Medicare for All” and “free college tuition” a reality, has a record of supporting LGBTQ+ rights. However, it is a muddled one.

Bernie Pro: In the wake of 1993s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, which aimed to silence

LGBTQ+ members of the military, Sanders ardently opposed the Bill Clinton-era policy. Bernie Con: In 2006, when Sanders was asked by a reporter regarding same-sex being legalized in Vermont, he said, “Not right now,” according to Time Magazine.

Although Sanders has been an LGBTQ+ rights ally for quite some time — his track-record, although far from perfect, has, at the very least, been on the more consistent side. However, perfection is not necessarily what Democratic voters should be searching for in this upcoming election, according to Duran.

“I think Donald Trump has already caused a great deal of damage with his federal judicial appointments,” Duran said. “The reality is Ruth Bader Ginsburg isn’t getting any younger, she’s the eldest member of the Supreme Court. At some point, she’s going to retire or die in office like Anthony Scalia did. I want to make sure that whoever’s sitting in the oval office to do the next Supreme Court appointment is an ally to the LGBTQ community.”

Tulsi Gabbard Gabbard’s political profile is one held upon a foundation of bipartisanship and an interesting resume of hobbies which many might deem unorthodox when compared to the nation’s history of past Democratic presidential candidates. She’s a practicing Hindu, a lifelong surfer, an Iraq War veteran and her signature issue is opposition to American military intervention, according to The New York Times. In 2016, Gabbard gained profuse media attention when she decided to leave her position as vice-chair of the Democratic National Committee to publicly support Sanders in the 2016 race. The move made her seem like a devoted progressive. Her stance against corporate PAC money only strengthened that image. Yet, her anti-gay past caught up with her almost immediately after announcing her decision to run for president.

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2020 PRIMARIES

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ELECTION,

from page 6 According to a report by CNN, in the early 2000s Gabbard worked for her father’s anti-gay organization, one which worked ardently against same-sex marriage in Hawaii and supported conversion therapy. This news spread like wildfire on social media which, in turn, led Gabbard to post a YouTube video both apologizing for- and explaining her anti-LGBTQ+ past. However, as a member of congress, Gabbard has voted in favor of LGBTQ+ rights and has received positive recognition by the Human Rights Campaign, according to The New York Times.

“I think you have to give people space to

evolve,” Duran said. “Even on the issue of marriage equality, there was a time when both Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer were opposed to marriage equality — and Barack Obama and Bill and Hillary Clinton, they were all opposed to marriage equality. So if we use the standard that if you were anti-marriage equality at one point [then] you’re no friend of mine that would have excluded the last few Democratic presidents.”

Julian Castro Former mayor of San Antonio, TX, Julian Castro is apart of the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials, alongside Duran who serves as National Chairman.

It has been NALEO’s goal for years to help Latinx politicians achieve their goals of being elevated to the highest office in the United States. In 2020, the organization’s sights are set on Castro. With 27.8 million Latinx people currently eligible to vote, Castro may prove to be a force to be reckoned with. A force with a remarkable past in advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.

Castro, an Ivy-League educated politician, was – in many ways – a crucial advocate for LGBTQ+ rights in the very conservative state of Texas. For example, he was branded as a “lethal tentacle of Obama” by Republicans during his time as housing secretary for the Obama

Photos: Wikipedia.

Administration — as a result of his devotion to promoting LGBTQ+ rights.

For example, in 2013, Castro signed a San Antonio city ordinance prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in all aspects. Although Castro received significant backlash from the overwhelming amount of conservative people, and

organizations, in the state — he stood by the LGBTQ+ community first and foremost.

If he wins the nomination, Castro, a self-proclaimed Chicano man, may be going up against Trump — a man who has deemed Mexicans as rapists and drug-traffickers and once said, “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best.”

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LOS ANGELES

LEGAL AUTONOMY

` ⚫ BY STAFF WRITER

Unnecessary Genital Surgery for Intersex Babies

Legal rights for intersex individuals (people born with variations in their sex characteristics, including genitalia) took a large step forward this week, thanks to Senator Scott Wiener (D-San Francisco) and a coalition of civil rights, intersex, healthcare and LGBT advocates.

Last week, Weiner introduced Senate Bill 201 – legislation which ensures that people born with atypical genital characteristics have the right to provide informed consent before undergoing genital surgery that are potentially harmful, including reducing a clitoris, creating a vagina or removing healthy gonadal tissue. SB 201 also avoids having physicians and parents surgically assign a baby’s gender as opposed to a child expressing their own gender when they are ready to do so.

Senate Bill 201 would not prohibit treatment or surgery when it is medically necessary; it simply prohibits cosmetic surgeries on babies that are medically unnecessary and based on a desire to “normalize” a child’s genitals.

“Everyone deserves autonomy about who they are and what medically unnecessary surgeries they undergo,” Wiener said in a press release. “This legislation allows individuals to choose for themselves if and when they undergo life-altering medical procedures. Parents and doctors have a critically important role to play in the health and well-being of their children, but we should not deprive individuals of the right to choose whether to undergo invasive surgeries that are cosmetic, medically unnecessary, and associated with long-term permanent health consequences. It’s particularly important to allow individuals to make their own healthcare decisions when a medical procedure makes potentially irreversible decisions about a person’s gender assignment - a decision that each person should be able to make on their own. I look forward to working with our broad coalition of intersex advocates, medical professionals, LGBT advocacy organizations, parents, civil rights organizations, and affected individuals to pass this important human rights legislation.”

About 1-2 percent of people in the world are born with variations in their sex characteristics, referred to as intersex traits. A subset of these variations are recognized at birth, while others may go unnoticed until later in life or may never be recognized, according to a press release.

Although a very small percentage of intersex infants may require immediate medical attention—for example some are born without the ability to pass urine—the vast majority are born perfectly healthy and able to live rich, fulfilling lives without any modification to their genitals.

“SB 201 preserves options for families of children born with natural variations in sex characteristics and genitalia,” said Kimberly Zieselman, the executive director of interACT: Advocates for Intersex Youth, an intersex woman herself affected by the surgeries. “Drastic cosmetic

procedures, like reducing a clitoris or creating a vagina for an infant, have not been proven beneficial, compared to delaying for the individual’s informed consent—acting has high stakes, while waiting costs nothing. Attempting to erase these natural differences perpetuates a message of shame, stigma, and homophobia. Medicine evolves alongside social acceptance, and this bill sends a clear message: there's no rush to perform these surgeries on infants. interACT is proud to be a part of this historic human rights effort. ” Beginning in the mid-1900s, physicians would modify the genitals of infants they considered atypical, even if the surgeries were purely cosmetic and not medically necessary. These treatments and interventions often resulted in extreme scarring, chronic pain, incontinence, loss of sexual sensation, post-traumatic stress disorder and incorrect gender assignment. While a number of doctors continue to perform these often irreversible procedures in infancy based on the theory that they will help intersex people feel more “normal,” no research definitively proves that claim, and all major groups led by affected adults condemn the practice when performed without the consent of the individual involved, according to a press release.

“When my daughter was born in 2012 with an intersex condition known as Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, we faced intense pressure to consent to cosmetic surgeries to reduce the size of her clitoris and create a vagina for heterosexual intercourse,” parent and author Eric Lohman said in a press release. “I was surprised and angered by the fact that some did not agree that delaying cosmetic surgery until our daughter could decide for herself was the only ethical choice.”

SB 201 builds on Wiener’s 2018 Senate Concurrent Resolution 110, which called on the medical community to delay performing medically unnecessary sex-assignment and genital “normalization” procedures until an individual can provide informed consent. The resolution was the first of its kind in the nation. If passed, SB 201 would make California the first state to mandate intersex patient participation in decision-making before procedures such a clitoral reductions are performed.

SB 201 is co-sponsored by interACT, Equality California, the American Civil Liberties Union of California, and is also supported by Human Rights Watch. It is co-authored by Senator Jim Beall (D-San Jose), and Assemblymembers David Chiu (D-San Francisco), Todd Gloria (D-San Diego), Kevin McCarty (D-Sacramento), Phil Ting (D-San Francisco), and Bill Quirk (D-Hayward).

The bill was officially introduced on January 28, and will be set for a committee hearing in the coming months.

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Here for the Queerness of “Sex Education”

Photo: Netflix.

This British TV show was picked up by Netflix for a second season.

Audiences stateside and across the pond rejoiced last week as it was announced that Netflix would pick up Season 2 of “Sex Education.”

According to Variety, Cindy Holland, Netflix VP of Original Content, said in a statement,“Laurie Nunn has captured the awkward teenage experience with a lot of heart and humor in Sex Education. Along with the Eleven team and executive producer and director Ben Taylor, she’s created a universally relatable series that has resonated with our members around the world.”

We are constantly bombarded with hyper sexuality on screen that it is often desensitizing.

But what “Sex Education” does is make awkward and uncomfortable topics of adolescence somehow approachable. This is the show we wish we watched growing up.

With a sex therapist and author for a mother, main character Otis is navigating his teenage years with apprehension, yet determination.

The show covers topics from STIs, to wet dreams, to love, to jealousy. And even homosexuality. That’s right, folks – genuine gays.

And what’s most refreshing is the way they show handles it; Rather than having few token gay charters as we often see on TV, the

LGBTQ+ community is blended into the cast and plot as naturally as our actual existence.

Most notably is Otis’ best friend, Eric. Yes, he’s gay and fabulous, but he is so much more. He is a loyal friend and devout to his religion, all while trying to navigate his desire to crossdress without disappointing his family. Eric is unapologetic for who he is and he’s not shy to tell you. “Sex Education” approaches Eric and his father’s relationship genuinely and with great believability. More than anything, the father loves Eric, and worries for his safety. All he wants is for his son to be safe, no easy task when Eric is Gay bashed and beaten on the way to a concert for his birthday.

Furthering queering the show, while offering therapy to fellow students, Otis comes across a frustrated lesbian couple navigating the nuances of lesbian sex. Otis, a young and inexperienced teenage boy, admits he doesn’t quite grasp the finesse of sex between two women. So he sets out to do some “research.” Otis himself tries his very best to be respectful of the couple, so that they do not feel objectified to the male fantasy. This episode not only normalizes lesbian sex, but it makes it ok to learn about the LGBTQ+ community rather than shun or fetishize it.

It is in the details that “Sex Education” truly supports the LGBTQ community that it represents on screen. It is refreshing and relatable.

Safe to say we’re counting down the days until Season 2 premieres. Season 2 is said to have eight episodes and will begin production this spring.

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LOVIN’ IT

Top 5 Queer Valentine’s Date Night Ideas Love is in the air, panic is in our hearts. How the hell is it Valentine’s Day already? Wasn’t it just New Years Eve? For those that feel the year is flying by without even so much as a wave, you’re not alone. If you find yourself underprepared for the most comercially romatic day of the year, don’t worry; we’ve got you covered.

Here are our top picks for Valentine’s Day dates.

(We know, some of these aren’t on Valentine’s Day. But, hey – its on a Thurday alright? ) 1. Take Your Sweetheart to a Dace Ahh, just like junior high. But without the stinky gymnasium venue, sweaty palms and general adolescent uncomfortableness. The annual LifeWorks Mentoring Valentine’s Day Dance is a sweet option for you and your sweetheart this holiday. Complete with free food, crafts and DJ 2lips, this is a fun night out for partners and friends alike.

The Valentine’s Day Dance will take place at The Village at the Ed Gould Plaza in West Hollywood on Friday, February 15 from 5:30-8:30 p.m.

2. Share a Laugh, or Two What says “I love you” more than laughing historically in a room full of strangers.Yup, pret-

ty much nothing. That’s why Two Dykes and a Mic Valentine’s Day Comedy Show would make the perfect date night. Besides, what better way to feed into a Hallmark holiday than by supporting female comics and queer business owners? That’s right, pretty much no other way! The Valentine’s Special will feature the all-female line up of Beth Stelling, Mo Welch, Bri Giger and Liz Glazer.

Two Dykes and a Mic will be held at the Virgil in Los Angeles on Tuesday, Feb. 12 from 7:30–9:30 p.m.

3. Bake … er, we mean *Make New Connections Not only does the Pie Bar in Long Bech offer pie making classes, but now they’ve coupled their Valentine’s Day class with speed dating!

What could be cuter than meeting your next significant other over spilt flour? How it works: During the first hour of the class, guests will learn how to make pie dough from scratch and each create their own full cherry or apple pie.

Then, while the pies are baking, guests will be paired up and spend five minutes with each other talking. After five minutes, guests will switch partners until all guests have met. Free

snacks and bottomless mimosas will be available along with wine, beer, kombucha, coffee and sodas available to purchase. At the end of the night, you get to go home with your very own pie and perhaps a date! Could it get any sweeter?

Pie Bar’s speed dating takes place on Thursday, Feb. 14 from 6:30 – 9 p.m. at the Pie Bar on Pine Street in Long Beach.Tickets are $55 each.

4. Bar Hop down the Gay Ghetto of Long Beach Maybe you don’t have a significant other this time around, or maybe you and you schnookums are not that mushy. So how about a Thirsty Thursday to remember … or forget? Either way, grab a comfy pair of shoes and hit the gay ghetto of Long Beach – a famous strip of gay bars down Broadway Avenue. From the Falcon, to the Mineshaft, to Sweet Water Saloon, the night is guaranteed to be an adventure with this date option.

5. Netflix and Chill This last option is for all the homebodies, the shallow pockets and the “hey it’s a weeknight

– give me a break”-ers. That’s right, find your sexiest sweatpants, a cuddly blanket and snacks of choice. With the movie marathon option, you have all the amenities of an expensive night at the movies all right in the comfort of your own home. Streaming services are getting hella ghey, too. With a wide variety of queer films, documentaries and TV shows, there’s certainly something to pique your and hubby’s interest.

And if not… there’s always the “chill” part of Netflix and Chill. *Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.*

2.8 – 2.21.2019 COMMUNITY COLUMN

` ⚫ BY AIDAN PARK

LOS ANGELES

>

⚫ 13

DEAR AIDAN

DEAR AIDAN: Feeling Sexually Incompatible

Dear Aidan:

Dear Hungry Like the Wolf,

I met a terrific guy. We hit it off on every level. Emotionally he is open, honest and loving. Mentally he is sharp, witty and very growth minded. Physically he is HOT. But whenever we get in bed... ehhh... The sex just isn't there for me.

I always have to make all of the moves first and I would like him to be more aggressive. During the act of sex, he doesn't make me feel desired. I want to feel the animal passion!

I really believe that the bedroom is the one place that you cannot hide! If a young girl is dating an older man to which she has to romantic attraction to in order to claim his estate after he passes, I can guarantee their sex is terrible.Why? Because the connection, the animal instincts and true intimacy that can happen in the bedroom cannot be replicated easily, even by the best of actors.

That being said, there are many who will probably tell you. "Sex is not everything. Look past it and hope it gets better." Don't listen to those people. They don't know what they are talking about either.

The way I look at it, sex is a bonding experience among two partners and sharing this intimate time, pushing the boundaries and really creating a safe space for each partner to share what they are "into" is a key point that separates a romantic relationship from friendships. I really like the idea of role playing, talking dirty or sharing kinky fantasies, etc. because doing so means that each partner is bravely willing to put themselves on the line and risk rejection and embarassment from "sex gone wrong.” But when it works, the intimacy that can be created between two consenting partners who are willing to share their deepest fantasies will create a bond which will be hard to replicate with just "any other."

So. WHAT DO YOU DO? People get so squeamish around sex.The more clear and open you can be about the issue, the better it will be for you guys in the long run. Try having a discussion and maybe see what happens if you can both relax... try a weed cookie ( I can’t believe I

Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

am recommending this, but maybe this will help take the edge off, which will allow you both to share your feelings and desires more readily.)

If that does not work, THEN I would take a look at yourself before tossing the relationship down the toilet. You had mentioned that you really like aggressive guys! Are you holding standards that MUST BE MET by your partner

in order for you to be satisfied? Is there a way for you to meet him where he is and enjoy the experience? Take a look at being more committed to enjoying the experience rather than having to be right about how he is not fulfilling your needs! You might be used to one kind of love-making, but meeting him where he is might ring all kinds of bells!

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THE PRIDE L.A., The Newspaper Serving Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender L.A., is published by MIRROR MEDIA GROUP. Send all inquiries to: THE PRIDE L.A., 2116 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, CA. Phone: 310.310.2637 Written permission of the publisher must be obtained before any of the contents of this paper, in part or whole, can be reproduced or (c) 2017 The Pride L.A. redistributed. All contents THE PRIDE L.A. is a registered trademark of MIRROR MEDIA GROUP. T.J. MONTEMER, CEO 310.310.2637 x7

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2.8 – 2.21.2019

LOS ANGELES

WHAT’S HAPPENING?

The best goings-on around and about L.A., period.

Queer Trans APIs & Allies Chinese New Year When: Saturday, Feb. 9 from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.

Where: 320 W.Temple St., Los Angeles What: Walk with Queer Trans APIs & Allies at the Chinese New Year Parade Why: Queer the New Year with us! Let's welcome the Year of the Pig at the 2019 Golden Dragon Parade and show off how beautiful and powerful our Queer Trans Asian Pacific Islanders (QTAPI) community and loving allies are at Chinatown’s largest celebration!

Galentine’s Day When: Tuesday, Feb. 12 from 7–10 p.m.

Where: Doheny Room,West Hollywood What: Join the Outfest Women's Committee for a Galentine's Day Party!

Grab your Galentine and enjoy a complimentary drink, great raffle prizes, and special guests. A celebrity MC will host the evening followed by an intimate performance by Stephanie Rice (The Voice).This will be a night to remember!

Why: A Fun,Valentines Day themed event for friends and lovers alike!

Trans Interview Skills Workshop When: Friday, Feb. 15 from 1–4 p.m.

Where: St. John’s We;; Child and Family Center, Los Angeles

Wellness and serenity for the body, mind, and spirit.

What: Peter Bueza, SVP of Human Resources at Bank of America will walk guests through The Art of The Interview.

Why: Finding jobs as an out transgender person can be tough. Let this workshop teach you skills to perfect your interviewing.

L.A. Pride Rainbow Skate Night When: Wednesday, Feb. 20 from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Where: Moonlight Rollerway, Glendale What: Join LA Pride and the LGBTQI Community in a fun night of Roller Skating. All ages welcome. 8-11pm. $16 INCLUDES skate rental.

Why: A night of wheels and rainbows? We’re in!

Studio 54 – Film and Q&A When: Thursday, Feb. 21 from 7:30 – 11:30 p.m.

Where: Art Theatre, Long Beach What: A special screening of Studio 54, featuring a live Q&A with the Director Matt Tyrnauer!

Why: Studio 54 was the epicenter of ’70s hedonism—a monumental magnet for beautiful stars, casual sex, and mounds of cocaine, a den of excess that defined its own rules and enshrined the ostracized, queer, and fabulous.

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2.8 – 2.21.2019 EJECTION LETTERS

BY NATAN LAST / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

71 English dialect in which 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 “food shopping” is “makin’ groceries” 18 19 72 Aries and Taurus 21 22 73 Result of a judicial conflict of interest 24 25 26 27 76 Kabuki sash 77 Bloke 29 30 31 79 Polish up, in a way 33 34 35 80 “Actually, come to think of it …”

37 38 39 83 Skill 43 44 45 84 Part of a “fence” in the 48 49 50 51 52 game Red Rover 87 Seeming opposite of 56 57 58 59 “Ignorance is bliss” 61 62 63 92 Pollyannaish 65 66 67 95 Mends, in a way 96 Some flaws in logic 69 70 71 97 Plays charades, say 73 74 75 76 98 Tweeter’s “Then again …”

99 Set down 79 80 81 82 100 Fruity soda brand 101 A Musketeer 87 88 89 90 102 Entry fee 95 96 105 Stew that’s decidedly not 92 93 94 very spicy 98 99 100 107 Durkheim who helped found the field of 102 103 104 105 sociology 107 108 109 108 Browned at high heat 110 111 112 109 Hit from behind 110 Array in a cockpit 52 Margaret Atwood’s “____ 111 Butterfly-attracting flowers 16 Armistice and Crake” 17 They may hit the ground 112 Actress Jean who played running 55 Standard of living?

Joan of Arc in “Saint Joan” 18 Respectable 57 Country south of Sicily 21 Genius 58 Amazon Prime competitor DOWN 23 Head turner?

59 Ireland, to poets 1 Well formed 2 “Receiving poorly,” in CB lingo 26 It gained independence from 60 “Rainbow” fish France in 1960 62 Tax pros, for short 3 Retreats 30 Principal 63 They’re located between 4 Grazing land 31 Discombobulate Samoa and Vanuatu 5 Organization of Afro-American 34 King of morning TV 66 Entrance to a cave Unity founder 35 Poet who invented the terza 67 Revolutionary group 6 1960s group with a fabricrima rhyme scheme related name, with “the” 68 Language family that 36 Bay of Biscay feeder includes Xhosa and Zulu 7 Joe can provide it 41 Easter activity 71 Monastery garb 8 Bell-shaped flower 74 Metonym for local 9 Writer/critic ____ Madison III 42 “Move on already!” government 43 Rodeo ring?

10 Hebrew “shalom” to Arabic 75 They’re only a 46 Politico Abzug “salaam,” e.g. few stories 47 Members of 11 “Seven Samurai” director 77 Noted Belle Epoque locale the flock 12 Unchanging 78 Psyche’s beloved 48 Of base 8 13 Pinch 81 Suggests 49 One getting onboarded 14 Drop from one’s Facebook 82 Typical summer intern 50 Made into law circle 15 Poker-faced 51 Bargain hunter’s delight 84 Forming an upward curve

This Week’s Sudoku Puzzle

Answers O C T A L B R A I N

O T O M I

S O F I A

S T S H E E A N E P O M E N L L E Y Y L N E A E N S W A S H C O I T R E C E D I T Y H A L L

1 Patron of the high seas 7 Metric in digital journalism 13 Some marble works 18 Den mother 19 Make less stuffy 20 Opening 21 Reason for an ejection in the M.L.B. 22 Reason for an ejection in the N.B.A. 24 Bank takebacks, for short 25 Snug as a bug in a rug 27 Make mention of 28 N.F.L. star ejected from 102-Across 29 “Right on!”

30 Actress/singer Janelle 31 Rudimentary 32 Treats, as a sprain 33 Reason for an ejection in FIFA 37 The Bronx Bombers, on scoreboards 38 Intent 39 Soon 40 Student taking Torts or Property 43 Snowshoe-hare predator 44 Brian with the album “Before and After Science” 45 Shorten 48 N.B.A. star ejected from 105-Across 51 Sound heard in Georgia?

53 Musician’s skill 54 Onetime Sprint competitor 56 Burn a perfume stick in 57 Meursault’s love in Camus’s “The Stranger” 58 Reason for an ejection in the N.F.L. 61 “Love, when we met, ____ like two planets meeting”: Ella Wheeler Wilcox 62 Sepals of a flower 63 Rolls up 64 M.L.B. star ejected from 87-Across 65 Belief in one’s role as a savior 67 Anatomical lashes 68 Drum held between the knees 69 On fire 70 ____ milk

NY TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE

R O P E D

ACROSS

LOS ANGELES

12

13

14

15

16

41

42

17

20 23 28 32 36 40 46

47

53

54

55

60 64 68 72 77

78

83

84

85

86

91 97 101 106

85 Like oral history 86 FIFA star ejected from 65-Across 88 Choice of cheese 89 ____ Stark, Oona Chaplin’s “Game of Thrones” role 90 Russian ethnic group 91 Church title 92 Partitioned, with “off” 93 People of south-central Mexico 94 Director Coppola 100 Author Jonathan Safran ____ 101 Land parcel 103 ____ Moines 104 Pique 106 Literary fairy queen

⚫ 15

STAR GAZING

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries will not immediately realize that the five-day working period has finally almost ended. You will not have a plan ready on how to spend this evening, and therefore you will willingly support all the initiatives of your best friend (aka second half). TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Taurus on this day will be very picky about the little things in your current project. For this task, you work longer than you expected, but it will bring you tangible benefits.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Gemini today will be caught unaware by some sensational news. You will not be emotionally prepared for the fact that your former boss resigned from his position, and that another person will soon take his place. However, when you see your new leader, you will breathe a sigh of great relief.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Cancers on this day will be able to perfectly relax body and spirit. Immediately after work, you will go to a party at the home of your best friend, and a little later this event will move to the nearest sauna. You will return home by midnight, collapse on the sofa, fall asleep and sleep like a rock.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) To Leos, this Friday will bring both pleasant and exciting experiences. You will be delighted with the report cards of your children (or the children of one of your relatives). At the same time, you will not like the news that the school is organizing another fundraiser for some “important” event.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Virgos on this day should not be too hasty in making important decisions about their family’s future. Do not reject the idea proposed by your partner in marriage, since you will gain more from this move than lose.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Libras will find Friday to be extremely uneventful. Your day will be limited to a few obligatory affairs and poor rest in front of the TV. Somewhat dissipating the dull atmosphere of this day is the visit of one of your close neighbors.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Scorpios will require universal obedience. Demonstrating such despotism, you will not achieve what you so eagerly sought. In order to get others to fulfill your requests, you must behave not as a tyrant, but as a diplomat.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Sagittarians will delve deeply into a subject that is not related to their main profession. Perhaps it’s about some newfangled trend, which you will be introduced to by the Internet, or about a new hobby.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Capricorns today will not think about what impression their appearance makes on others. You will put emphasis not on beauty, but on the convenience of your wardrobe, knowing that you will have to work in very crowded conditions.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Aquarius will have a chance to win at the casino or by betting on the lottery. You will immediately have a powerful temptation to go and spend all your winnings on a bunch of small purchases.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Pisces on this day will not resist the temptation to spend a little more than their budget allowed them. You will find yourself within a luxurious entertaining establishment, and you will be accompanied by a person who you do not want to look stupid in front of.

E L B E B A S M G A A I Y N L E C M P O A U S T H E D A D M E S

T A L I S A

M O A R L L C O O N L S M X S M A A L L E T A L O W R I S E S

H I N T S A T O R Y X M A L I

C L I A I R F L A F Y E B I D E N A F E N O F T G I E X F C I C A J O B I W A I L L S S L F A I O N R E D E R S

T E T E A N T A R S H U L U C O G N A T E

G A Y P A R E E

K S U T R A O T S I A C W A B E E L R L I A N

B U S I N T N T F O E R I C I C K L E O N E R I D G A R G M E T H S R U B O N A U T E N T R T A O U F R S A C A T H M C H I A R E N B E R G

R E T O L D L E T I T G O T R U C E

M E S S I E T H O S S O L E S

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LOS ANGELES

2.8 – 2.21.2019