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The health services you want, where you want them.
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• Primary Care and Eisenhower 365
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COMMENTARY
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CONTRIBUTORS
Andre Carthen, James Harlow, Tim Blankenship, Daniel Hirsch, Ethan Pacheco, Thalia Alleman, Ben Nelson, Spencer White, Tom Tietjen, Jacquelyn James, Trevor Garrison, Stacy Holmes, Greg Stillwell, Dann Foley, Jill Langham & Terri Schlichenmeyer www.thestandardps.com
The Standard Magazine is published monthly. Opinions expressed are not necessarily the opinions of the Standard or its staff, advertisers or readers with exception of editorials. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, business or organization in articles or advertising in the Standard is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person, business or organization. The Standard disclaims any responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Advertising rates are subject to change without notice. The Standard reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to reject any advertisement for any reason including, but not limited to poor taste. It is the policy of The Standard that we only publish letters to the editor that are signed by the author and verifiable by phone number. We can reserve the right of anonymity upon request. The letters need to be original, in good taste and free of libel as well as edited for clarity and grammar. Letters are subject to editing by The Standard that also reserves the right to decline print. Please forward your letters to: info@thestandardps.com The views expressed is not necessarily those of The Standard. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No portion of the publication may be reproduced in any form without the expressed consent of the publisher.
IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! HOLIDAY FOODS AND TRENDS COVER
BY CHEF ANDRE CARTHEN
It’s the most wonderful time of the year...and this year it’s been one politically f-up year, so it needs to get better! The holidays are supposed to be a time of love and goodwill, of joy and gratefulness. Certainly not a time of political unrest, mistrust, and fear!
Between having rights, losing rights, fighting for rights, and being told to celebrate diversity, all while they’re banning books and campaigning against gender equality. It’s extremely difficult to know where we even stand. Talk about one step forward, two steps back, and the only direction we seem to be moving in is spiraling down. Whose rights are we concerned with?
About now you’re wondering, what does this have to do with the holidays and food? I’m getting there, just needed Waze to do a redirect through all the political construction. For many, the holidays can be very stressful and even disappointing. And what do we do when we are stressed? Yes, that’s right EAT!
COVER
While there are many good reasons to overindulge this holiday season politics should not be one of them. Nor should we allow politics to stop us from looking as fabulous as we possibly can.
Below you will find some suggestions on how to utilize a few of the rights we still have for this holiday season. Keep in mind, that these are all meant to make things easier and return the holidays back to a more carefree time of family, friends, gratefulness, and love.
Let’s begin with the easiest, Go out to EAT!
Done, no fuss, no mess, split the bill, see you next year!
This next one takes a little planning.
A progressive Holiday Dinner Party.
This only works if you are near each other, OR as a potluck where each couple is assigned a particular dinner course...appetizer & cocktails, soup/salad, entree, desserts....
The progressive house-to-house plan is fun, takes more planning, and may need designated drivers. (safety first!)
This one, while meant to make things easier will drive a control freak crazy!
I’m admitting I fall into this category. When I host, I like for things to be a certain way and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, this process places all the stress on one person, so much for stress-free. Hopefully, this combination suggestion will help alleviate some of the stress.
COMFORT FOOD POTLUCK
I find that one of the biggest problems with potlucks is aesthetics. All those different serving plates and bowls messing up your color theme...Nope, not having it! So, plan on doing your oh-sofabulous hosting {as a comfort food potluck}. Have the guest bring their favorite holiday comfort food, all on White serving plates and bowls. Now for those who refuse to play by the rules, and there’s always one. You have extra white dishes set aside to transfer their
contribution to. This way you’ve fixed the visual and your guest can return home with leftovers on their plate. Stopping them from borrowing your Tupperware, which you know you’ll never see again. Don’t you love it when you get a 2-for-1? Supply a plate and go home with it and leftovers, SCORE!
FOOD TREND
The exciting thing about Trend is its health benefits.
When it comes to food trends, the hot ticket this year is GINGER! This aromatic root is mostly prized for its medicinal purposes. Ginger native to Asia has been used to help treat the common cold, flu-like symptoms, headaches, and painful menstrual periods. It’s also been used as a cooking spice for at least 4,400 years. As part of the well-being trend, we’re seeing ginger popping up in wellness drinks, kombucha, teas, baked goods, biscuits, puddings, and cereals, with many brands saying it’s fast becoming their bestselling flavor.
Below you will find some of my favorite Holiday Comfort Foods, I hope you try them and let me know how they turned out?
Also, please visit Yourhometv.com and search Sunday Dinner / Friday Night to view my cooking show
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Set-up is fast and easy with DIRECTV.
COVER MOVIES THAT WILL ENTERTAIN YOU
BY JAMES HARLOW
The following movies are a great example of the sheer variety that awaits you, the discerning moviegoing public. Biopics, bestsellers turned star vehicles, new works from adventures, sequels, and highconcept sci-fi, to documentaries, animated movies, and thrillers. Some of them we’re salivating over seeing ASAP, others are films we’ve might have caught on the festival circuit that we’re anxious to see again. The one thing they have in common is that you’ll get to check them out over the next few months. Dates are, like everything else in the modern world, subject to change.
Will and Harper Netflix Sept. 27
Will Ferrell, 57, and former Saturday Night Live head writer Harper Steele, 63, were friends from Ferrell’s first day on the show in 1995. When Steele, a father of two, came out as trans at 61 in a moving email to Ferrell, the pair decided to take a trip together. Heading west from New York, they stop at the Grand Canyon, a dusty Oklahoma dive bar, a pro basketball game and a hostile Texas steakhouse. Along the way, they reconnect after long absence in the pandemic, with Steele giving Ferrell a free pass to ask any question he wants about the transition of his friend. With cameos from Will Forte, 54, Molly Shannon, 59, Seth Meyers, 50, Fred Armisen, 57, Tina Fey, 54, and more, the road documentary has many surprises. Ferrell is truly openhearted, and Steele’s greatest transformation is one from self-hate to acceptance. Funny, heartfelt and unexpected, this film is a journey into understanding.
https://youtu.be/PRZ1ELeGepo?si=8XxzpomM4PfBcy7G
in Peru
Opening on: November 8, 2024
Paddington is back. And this time, he is going on a trip. Everyone’s favorite bear (voiced by Ben Whishaw) is heading to his birthplace of Peru with the entire Brown family to track down Aunt Lucy. But what awaits them at the Home for Retired Bears? We expect adventure, mishap and some very well-written crossgenerational jokes. The third in the critically-acclaimed trilogy has a new director – Dougal Wilson is taking over from Paul King – and a stacked cast: hello to Olivia Colman (playing a nun) and Antonio Banderas (taking on a role he was born to play: a very handsome boat captain).
https://youtu.be/lKgitu25ZAg?si=nTFts8lIhJqHapgj
Red One
Opening on: November 15, 2024
If you’re looking for something lighter and a bit sillier, this actionadventure from Jake Kasdan (the Jumanji movies) should do the trick. Santa Claus (played by J.K. Simmons, no less) has been kidnapped, so now it’s up to the head of North Pole security (Dwayne Johnson) to team up with a bounty hunter (Chris Evans) to save him. Could be a jolly good time, no? Starring: J.K. Simmons, Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt
https://youtu.be/DCBm_Yl2-P8?si=3iYj8LF4dzEXoAfs
Paddington
Gladiator II
Opening on: November 22, 2024
Ridley Scott returns to direct this sequel to the historical epic Gladiator. The story will reportedly revolve around a grown-up Lucius (played by Paul Mescal), who has become emperor, and will see the return of Connie Nielsen as Lucilla.
Starring: Paul Mescal, Denzel Washington, Connie Nielsen, Djimon Hounsou, Joseph Quinn, Derek Jacobi
https://youtu.be/vgzyTqYzsPU?si=UpXUBT6-DT0g_Ezf
Wicked
Opening on: November 22, 2024
The legendary Broadway musical that tells the tale of the Wicked Witch of the West from a different perspective is getting a two-part film adaptation. Director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians, In the Heights) will take audiences to Oz, while Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande will play Elphaba and Glinda, respectively.
Starring: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum, Bronwyn James, Bowen Yang
https://youtu.be/pNtCuclMZIM?si=VFlIQu2qA_kTeqb_
COVER
Moana 2
Opening on: November 27, 2024
Disney made an unexpected announcement in February that a sequel to their hit 2016 animated film Moana, featuring the voices of Auli’i Cravalho and Dwayne Johnson, would be releasing in theaters in November. The announcement gave us the name of the director, Dave Derrick Jr., who previously worked on films like How to Train Your Dragon, Megamind, and other Disney projects like Raya and the Last Dragon, Encanto, and of course the first Moana, and while no cast has been officially announced yet, we can expect Cravalho and Johnson to return as Moana and Maui. Starring: Auli’i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson
https://youtu.be/xeKIAScksJk?si=W352Ym2jh-mqr1kX
Queer
Opening on: November 27, 2024
Luca Guadagnino’s second film of the year stars Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey in a romantic drama based on the William S. Burroughs novel of the same name and set in 1940s Mexico City. There, a man on the run (Craig) from New Orleans explores the city’s nightlife and becomes infatuated with an American Navy serviceman (Starkey). The film premiered at the Venice Film Festival to mostly positive reviews, with Craig earning heaps of praise for
his performance.
Starring: Daniel Craig, Drew Starkey, Jason Schwartzman, Lesley Manville
https://youtu.be/eknj5_0tF2s?si=4ZybyLIrFUk3S8EL
Kraven the Hunter Opening: Dec. 13
Longtime Spider-Man villain Kraven the Hunter is getting his own stand-alone picture, sans Spider-Man. Hopefully his film will be more like Sony’s Venom movies (campy, violent, weird) and less like Sony’s Madame Web and Morbius movies (stiff, tedious, nigh-unwatchable). At the very least, Kraven the Hunter looks like a bloody good time, thanks to the promise of over-the-top violence and Russell Crowe attempting a Russian accent. Aaron Taylor-Johnson stars as Kraven in this origin story of “vengeance with brutal consequences.” Joining ATJ and Crowe in Kraven the Hunter are Alessandro Nivola, Ariana DeBose, and Fred Hechinger, who star as Spider-Man villains Rhino, Calypso, and Chameleon, respectively. Kraven’s been delayed multiple times, a worrying sign, but that could also be an indicator we’ve got a so-bad-it’s-good situation on our hands
https://youtu.be/rze8QYwWGMs?si=6UynDZcKIsuwp4KI
Mufasa: The Lion King
Opening on: December 20, 2024
The “live action” Lion King (which was 100 percent computergenerated and not actually live action, to be clear) is getting a prequel that will explore the backstory of Simba’s father, Mufasa. James Earl Jones, who voiced Mufasa in the original Lion King and the remake, will not voice this younger version of Mufasa, and instead Aaron Pierre will play the character. Kelvin Harrison Jr. will play Scar, who goes by Taka when the events of the film take place. Starring: Aaron Pierre, Kevin Harrison Jr., Seth Rogen, Billy Eichner, and John Kani
https://youtu.be/uAp-dEgfC40?si=EB7-LqhazgLhRGIA
Nosferatu
Opening on: December 25, 2024
Robert Eggers (The Witch, The Lighthouse) follows up his action epic The Northman with a passion project he’s been working on for years. This remake of the classic 1922 vampire film of the same name looks to follow a similar plot, centering on a young woman (Lily-Rose Depp) and the vampire (Bill Skarsgård) who is infatuated with her. Starring: Bill Skarsgård, Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Emma Corrin, Willem Dafoe
https://youtu.be/OPBmI0eYtNU?si=LCVqJ_fxf8TvImy3
& Ready to Ship
4 Fruit Varieties & Snacks to Share!
Treat a special friend, teacher, neighbor or co-worker to a personalsized sampling of Pittman & Davis’s most loved fruits and sweets. This affordable gift box introduces your recipient to our famous premium fruit. They won’t find fruit like this in their grocery store! Along with our farm-fresh fruit we’ve included artisan baked goods & crunchy snacks perfect for sharing. This small gift packed with big flavor will make anyone feel special!
Satisfaction completely guaranteed. Order by December 15, 2024 for GUARANTEED Christmas delivery. Limited time offer, good while supplies last. Not valid with any other offer. Limit 5 boxes per customer.
• 1 Navel Orange
Seedless with bright, sparkling flavor
• 1 King Comice Pear
Juicy, sweet pears with creamy, velvety texture
• 1 Rio Ruby™ Red Grapefruit
Fragrant, juicy and flavor packed
• 1 Fuji Apple
Crisp, juicy and extra-sweet
• 2.5 oz. Gourmet Chocolate Chip Cookies
Crunchy, sweet and delicious
• 5 oz. Honey Roasted Peanuts
Savory, sweet and perfect for snacking
LGBTQ people are among the many subgroups of Americans known to experience high rates of food insecurity.*
The LGBTQ Community Center of the Desert provides food for 30,000+ people annually.
*The Williams Institute
BOOK REVIEW
ALWAYS OVERBOOKED
BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
Finding your own way
It’s a rite of passage for every young person, a necessity on the path to adulthood. You might have had help with it. You might have listened to your heart alone on the quest to find your own way. And sometimes, as in the new memoir, “Frighten the Horses” by Oliver Radclyffe, you may have to find yourself first.
If you had observed Oliver Radclyffe in a random diner a few years ago, you’d have seen a blonde, bubbly, but harried mother with four active children under age seven and a distracted husband. You probably wouldn’t have seen trouble, but it was there.
“Nicky,” as Radclyffe was known then, was simmering with something that was just coming to the forefront.
As a young child, Nicky’d been raised in comfort in a family steeped in genteel British wealth, attended a private all-girl’s school, and never wanted for anything. She left all that behind as a young adult, and embraced the biker lifestyle and everything it entailed. The problem now wasn’t that she missed her old ways, it was that she hated life as a wife and mother. Her dreams were filled with fantasies of “exactly who I was: a man on a motorbike, in love with a woman.”
But being a man? No, that wasn’t quite right.
It took every bit of courage she had to say she was gay, that she thought constantly about women, that she hated sex with men. When she told her husband, he was hurt but mostly unbothered, insisting that she tell absolutely no one. They could remain married and just go forward. Nothing had to change.
But everything had already changed for Nicky.
Once she decided finally to come out, she learned that friends had already suspected. Family was supportive. It would be okay. But as Nicky began to experiment with a newfound freedom to be with women, one thing became clear: having sex with a woman was better when she imagined doing it as a man.
In his opening chapter, author Oliver Radclyffe shares an anecdote about the confusion the father of Radclyffe’s son’s friend had when picking up the friend. Readers may feel the same sentiment. Fortunately, “Frighten the Horses” gets better... and it gets worse. Radclyffe’s story is riveting, told with a voice that’s distinct, sometimes poker-faced, but compelling; you’ll find yourself agreeing with every bit of his outrage and befuddlement with coming out in a way that feels right. When everything falls into place, it’s a relief for both author and reader.
And yet, it’s hard to get to this point because this memoir is just too long. It lags where you’ll wish it doesn’t. It feels like being burritowrapped in a heavy-weighted blanket: you don’t necessarily want out, but you might get tired of being in it.
Still, it remains that this peek at transitioning, however painful, is essential reading for anyone who needs to understand how someone figures things out. If that’s you, then consider “Frighten the Horses” and find it.
“Frighten the Horses: A Memoir” by Oliver Radclyffe c.2024, Roxane Books / Grove Atlantic $28.00 / 352 pages
TRAVEL SIX REASONS TO VISIT
PUERTO RICO THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
ETHAN PACHECO
Did you know Puerto Rico celebrates one of the longest holiday seasons in the world? The holiday season lasts about 45 days, from Thanksgiving Day through mid-January. During the holiday season, the Island is alive with colorful decorations, delicious food, authentic music and grand festivals to mark different points of the season. If you want to have a truly magical holiday experience this year, check out these six reasons why you should consider visiting Puerto Rico this winter.
1. Festivities
Get ready to experience the party that never stops. During the extended holiday season, you can participate in several vibrant festivities, including multiday events. Puerto Ricans begin decorating for the holidays right after Thanksgiving, if not sooner, and leave the décor on display well into January.
You’re probably used to Christmas Day being the most important day of the holiday season, but in Puerto Rico, nothing is more important than Nochebuena, or Christmas Eve. On Nochebuena, family and friends have dinner, exchange gifts, go out on parrandas and maybe even attend a midnight mass.
On Dec. 31, ring in the New Year at a Víspera de Año Nuevo celebration. At midnight, Puerto Ricans celebrate the arrival of the new year with fireworks over an ocean view under the moon and starlight.
Christmas Eve isn’t the only time to exchange gifts. In January, Puerto Ricans celebrate Three Kings Day, which commemorates the Three Wise Men’s visit after Jesus was born. Across the Island, you’ll see parades with people dressed like the Three Wise Men handing out presents to children. Kids also gather grass or hay in shoeboxes and place them under beds for the Three Wise Men’s animals in exchange for presents.
Fiestas de la Calle San Sebastián or SanSe - the largest and most popular festival in Puerto Rico - officially closes the holiday season. The party ends in Old San Juan with a lively street festival with music, dancing, traditional food and artisanal crafts.
2. Food
One of the best ways to explore a culture is through authentic dishes, and there’s no better season to savor authentic Boricua cuisine than the holidays. Get ready to indulge in arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas), lechón asado (spit-roasted pork), pasteles (tamallike patties of green banana and meat) and other flavorful dishes.
No holiday is complete without a signature drink. Eggnog may come to mind, but in Puerto Rico, locals drink coquito. This thick, creamy holiday beverage is made of coconut milk, sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, local rum and spices.
3. Music
Merry music and musical traditions are key elements of the holidays in Puerto Rico. Throughout the whole season, you’ll witness parrandas, the Boricua version of caroling. Small groups visit friends and family late at night and wake them with aguinaldos, villancicos and trovas - local folk versions of Christmas songs. As the parranderos visit homes, they’ll sing, eat, drink and spread holiday cheer all over the Island until sunrise.
TRAVEL
4. Weather
Ready to escape the cold winter weather? Take advantage of Puerto Rico’s warm weather this holiday season! In Puerto Rico, you can enjoy a sunny festive season, with an average temperature of 70-85 degrees F from November-January.
The warm weather also means you can enjoy outdoor activities like swimming, kayaking, snorkeling and hiking in a temperate, tropical climate. So, shed your layers and trade snow for sand and chilly winds for a gentle ocean breeze.
5. Accessibility
No passport? No problem! American citizens and permanent residents can visit the Island with just a valid ID to enter Puerto Rico. You won’t have any difficulty finding flights to the Heart and Soul of the Caribbean. There are several short, convenient flights from the U.S. mainland to the heart of Puerto Rico, including direct routes from major cities like New York, Chicago and Dallas.
If you haven’t brushed up on your Spanish, you’re in luck because the two official languages on the Island are English and Spanish. Also, you won’t need to worry about exchanging currency. Puerto Rico uses the U.S. dollar, so you’ll have no problem buying last-minute Christmas gifts and souvenirs.
6. Live Boricua
Boricua - the Puerto Rican identity - is more than just a name. It’s a state of mind. When you Live Boricua, you can immerse yourself in the joy of life that is at the center of Puerto Rico and shared by its people and all who visit. During your holiday trip, embrace the rich traditions, warm hospitality and festive atmosphere of the Island so you can create memories to last a lifetime.
Are you ready to celebrate the holidays the Boricua way?
To learn more and plan your holiday trip, visit DiscoverPuertoRico.com/Holidays.
2024 EVENTS
DATE
Oct 2
Oct 3-4
Oct 5
Oct 5
Oct 5
Oct 5
Oct 6
Oct 10-12
Pride Honors Awards
An Intimate Evening with Stormy Daniels @ Oscars
One Night Out Rio / Palm Springs Air Museum
Pride Under the Pines 2024
"It's a Mod Mod World" benefiting Safe Schools Desert Cities
Palm Springs Car Show & Festival w/ Dream Boats / Downtown Park
Palm Springs Vintage Market (Adjacent to Agua Caliente Casino)
NVISION Latino Film & Music Festival / Palm Springs Art Museum
Oct 10-13 Joshua Tree Music Festival
Oct 11
National Coming Out Day
Oct 11 Firebirds 24-25 Season / Home Opener
Oct 11-12 Randy Rainbow at the McCallum
Oct 12 Casual Concours 2024
Oct 12 8th East Coachella Valley LGBTQ+ Pride Festival
Oct 13
Oct 13
Oct 19
Oct 19
Evening Under the Stars / Food Samaritans
An Evening of Liberace / Casa de Monte Vista
Center Stage Gala 2024
Architectural Preservation Awards
Oct 20 3rd Annual Pride On The Page Book Festival
Oct 22
Oct 24-27
Palm Springs Speaks / Danna Brazile
Leather Pride 2024: Deeper Than Ever
Oct 24-27 Modernism Weekend - October
Oct 26
Oct 26
EQCA Equality Awards Palm Springs
DAP Health Equity Walk 2024
Oct 27 Halloween on Arenas
Oct 31
Palm Springs Pride's Dia de la Reina w/Neon Trees / Arenas District
Nov. 1-3 'Be You' Palm Springs Pride 2024
Nov 2
Nov 2
Nov 3
Palm Springs Pride 5K Run & Walk
Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Palm Springs Garden Party
'Be You' Palm Springs Pride Parade 10 am
Nov 5 Election Day 2024
NYE HIGHLIGHTS DAP HEALTH UPDATE
8 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT BREAST CANCER IN MEN
BY DANIEL HIRSCH
Just because October is earmarked as Breast Cancer Awareness Month it doesn’t mean people — including men — shouldn’t be concerned about it (and talk about it) all year long.
While we often don’t think of those assigned male at birth as getting breast cancer, they do. Its occurrence is smaller than in those assigned female — it happens to about one in 800 men vs. one in eight women — but breast cancer in men is a serious concern. It’s made more so by the fact that, in the vast majority of cases, breast cancer is found at a much later stage in men than in women.
To understand the biological and — almost as powerful — social factors that differentiates male breast cancer, I spoke with DAP Health Director of OB-GYN Services Dr. Rhett Papa.
1. Why is male breast cancer caught later than in women?
Men often delay seeking care for various health issues, including breast cancer. The time from symptom onset to diagnosis is typically six to 10 months, much longer than for women. This delay can be attributed to societal norms, as men tend to seek care later for
2. What causes breast cancer in men?
Men, like women, are born with breast tissue, which includes fat cells, ductal cells, and fewer lobular cells. Breast cancer in men mostly arises from ductal cells. Higher estrogen levels are linked to an increased risk of breast cancer in men, as well as the presence of breast tissue.
3. What causes higher estrogen levels and are there other risk factors?
Several factors contribute to elevated estrogen levels in men, such as obesity, alcohol consumption (especially in men with liver diseases like cirrhosis), and the use of estrogen for treating prostate cancer or during gender-affirming hormone therapy. Working in high-temperature environments has also been connected to higher estrogen levels, although other risk factors remain less understood.
4. What role does genetics play in male breast cancer?
Genetics play a role, but only about 20% of male breast
various diseases, including testicular and prostate cancers.
cancers are linked to family history or genetic predisposition. Lifestyle factors are much more significant contributors. That said, if a family history exists, genetic counseling and testing are recommended, even if insurance won’t cover it.
5. Are there risk factors trans men should be aware of, and does top surgery reduce risk?
Trans men who have undergone top surgery (mastectomy) significantly lower their risk of breast cancer. Additionally, taking testosterone can reduce the risk, although not as much as the mastectomy itself.
6. What are the recommendations for breast cancer screening in men?
Currently, there are no general recommendations for breast cancer screening in men without a genetic predisposition. However, all individuals, regardless of gender, should regularly examine themselves, including during routine tasks like showering, to detect any abnormalities in the chest or breast tissue.
7. How is breast cancer treated in men and is it different from treatment in women?
The main difference is that breast cancer in men is usually diagnosed at a more advanced stage. Treatment involves surgery to remove the tumor, and since most male breast cancers are sensitive to estrogen, patients often receive tamoxifen (brand name Soltamox) for two to five years to block estrogen’s effects and prevent recurrence.
8. What is the aftercare like for men who have undergone breast cancer treatment?
After treatment, coordinated care from oncologists, primary care doctors, and psychologists or psychiatrists is crucial. Even though male breast cancer is often caught at a later stage, survival rates are comparable to those of female breast cancer patients.
If you are a cis or trans man who has discovered something irregular in your chest or breast tissue, please consult with your DAP Health primary care provider. If you are not yet a DAP Health patient and would like to become one, please visit daphealth.org and click “Become a Patient.” (as seen at daphealth.org)
NYE MUSTHIGHLIGHTS SEE QUEER AS A BELL
BY TOM TIETJEN
The hit Dekkoo series, Danny Will Die Alone, is back this month with its highly anticipated second season. Building on the success of the first, the new season takes viewers on another laugh-out-loud journey, diving deeper into the complexities of gay modern dating with his signature blend of outrageous comedy and emotional depth.
In the first season, Danny, played by Jack Tracy, was portrayed as more of an angry archetype. This season, he is a more realized and fleshed-out person, thanks in large part to the addition of actor Jordan Bell who plays Matty, Danny’s regular hookup buddy and foil. Matty serves as Danny’s go-to for intimacy between his dating misadventures, and the chemistry between Bell and Tracy is undeniable. Jordan Bell explains more from his home in NYC.
How does Danny Will Die Alone reflect modern dating within the LGBTQ+ community?
I think the show captures the real highs and lows of modern dating. It’s not always a fairytale or a happy ending—though, let’s be honest, there’s usually some kind of happy ending, if you know
what I mean. There’s frustration and uncertainty because people are often looking out for themselves and not always on the same page. And I love that the show doesn’t shy away from exploring sex kinks or things you don’t always see in mainstream media. It embraces the chaos of queer dating today, but with plenty of laughs and heart.
What drew you to the role of Matty?
Jordan Bell: I was drawn to Matty because, on the surface, he’s sharp and aggressively funny, but underneath that exterior, there’s so much vulnerability and openness. He’s incredibly layered. The series really captures the reality of modern dating: juggling multiple connections at once, whether they’re friends with benefits, purely physical, or something that blurs the lines. Matty’s tough exterior is his way of keeping himself safe and sane in all that chaos. I found him compelling and loved the challenge of exploring both his humor and his heartache.
What was it like working alongside Jack Tracy? Your onscreen chemistry is undeniable.
Jordan Bell: Working with Jack is such a gift. Being both the writer and star, he brings so much understanding to every moment. We spent a ton of time together on set, and he’s an incredibly generous scene partner, always up for exploring and pushing boundaries in ways that felt natural and safe. The connection we built offscreen shows up in our on-screen chemistry. It’s something special.
Season Two balances outrageous comedy with deeper emotional moments, exploring some complex themes like polyamory and gender norms.
Jordan Bell: I think one of the best things about Danny Will Die Alone is how it tackles these complex themes while balancing comedy and real emotional depth. It’s important to show the diversity of relationships and identities we see today. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to love or identity. Every person and relationship are unique, and if there’s mutual respect, there’s room for all kinds of connections and dynamics.
What do you think Matty adds to Danny’s journey, how does their dynamic shape the season?
Jordan Bell: Matty is the total opposite of Danny. While Danny’s more biting, Matty is short, abrupt, and straight to the point. But that contrast is what makes their dynamic so fiery and fun. Matty brings a fresh perspective that balances out Danny’s cynicism, and together, they help each other navigate the wild world of gay dating in New York. It’s that push-and-pull between them that really drives the season.
The two share some pretty steamy scenes!
Jordan Bell: Oh, definitely! My very first day on set, I had to
strip down to nothing while Jack delivered a monologue directly into my crotch. Talk about diving right in! By the end of filming, we spent so much time together in various stages of undress that it just felt normal. Those intimate scenes brought Jack and me closer, and that connection really helped ignite our on-screen chemistry. It was wild but so much fun!
Do you see Matty and Danny turning into something more than a casual hook-up?
Jordan Bell: There’s obviously some great chemistry between them and keeping it casual is part of the fun. But as they spend more time together, who knows? Things might shift, and they might even grow a little deeper. It’ll be interesting to see how it all plays out.
With season three already in the works, what are you most excited to explore next in Matty’s journey?
Jordan Bell: I’m really excited about what’s next for Matty! I’m curious to see how his relationship with Danny evolves—whether they dive into even more outrageous sexual escapades or if it turns into something deeper. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of Matty’s world so far, but I’m ready to dive in and meet more of the characters in his life. And with all the hints about his adventurous sex life, I’d love to see what kind of trouble Matty gets into on the weekends. It’s going to be a wild ride, and I’m here for it!
New episodes of Danny Will Die Alone season 2 will release weekly beginning November 14 on Dekkoo.
Follow the series on Instagram @dannywilldiealone.
ALL PHOTOS BY JOSEPH PATRICK CONROY AMERIKANA MEDIA
NYE HIGHLIGHTS INDESIGN HOLIDAY LIVING GUIDE
BY DANN FOLEY
Happy Holidays everyone! If you have been a fan of the Standard Magazine over the years, you will know that we do a special Holiday Guide every year at this time. And, if you have been reading my column, you would also know that Christmas is my very favorite time of the year!
Each year I have strived to bring you the best unique local finds, creative décor and suggest places for fun and inspiration. Well, you cannot imagine that this year would be any different, could you? For 2024 I want to offer you an opportunity to be inspired by the entire season, not just the shopping. I hope to jog your memory of the days when you reveled in the magic that is Christmas. There is so much to
see and enjoy in and around the Valley so, take some time and join me as I attempt to wrap you up in the Spirit of the Season.
Things To Do: A few of my favorite spots transformed for Christmas.
123 Farm
A short drive from Palm Springs is the family owned & operated 123 Farm. This is a real working farm and has been for over 90 years. Christmas is as magical as you can imagine at the farm. Lights everywhere, literally over 1 million lights! Live music, festive food & drinks, a S’mores pit, and yes, there is also Santa Claus.
Spend an evening under the stars, come hungry and shop the small crafts boutiques set up in the cabins. It is a place to roam and explore. Be sure to preorder your tickets, as they do NOT sell them at the door.
Knotts Berry Farm
I threw this one in for an alternative to the crowds and cost of Disneyland. The original Anaheim theme park has one of the only remaining wooden roller coasters left in the U.S. and other extreme thrill rides galore! You don’t want to miss lunch, or dinner at the Mrs. Knotts Chicken Dinner restaurant, where they serve handmade biscuits and their world-famous boysenberry jam along with the best fried chicken. Truly fun for all ages and the whole family. You can do it in a day or you can stay at their lovely hotel overnight for more park time.
The Living Desert Holiday Lights
It’s part zoo, animal park and part light show. They call it Wild Lights and it has been a tradition at the zoo for more than 30 years. It has been nominated by USA Today’s 10 Best Reader’s Choice Award for “Best Zoo Lights”. Bring the entire family to the walk-thru light exhibits. They have festive holiday music, food and
wild animals like rhino, giraffe and zebra, among others. There’s even a S’mores station and holiday-themed carrousel.
Places To Eat: What’s Holiday fun without lots of delicious food and drink!?
Crudo Cervicheria, Palm Springs
A new face on Palm Canyon Drive, Crudo is a casual stop-in kind of eatery offering ceviches, seafood and tacos. You must try the Shrimp Tacos, Ahi Tuna Nachos, and do not miss the sweet potato fries! Indoor and patio seating available. They have a selection of wines and beer to enhance your experience.
Tac/Quila, Palm Springs
By now a go-to on Palm Canyon Drive, you cannot miss the amazing food and incredible cocktails from their creative mixologist. People watch from the outdoor patio, or make new friends at the lively bar, or find a quiet cozy more intimate spot in the dining room. You must try the lobster tacos, served with a whole lobster tail! The upscale Jalisco cuisine, original cocktails and the gorgeous interiors (by Foley & Stinnette) will make your holiday socializing even more fun and delicious.
NYE HIGHLIGHTS INDESIGN
4 Saints, The Rowan Palm Springs
Modern American fare offered with California wines, showcasing the bounty of California, is how they describe themselves. The dining room Is chic with leather booths and natural woods, the views of the mountains and their roof top pool are stunning. The food is seasonal, creative and beyond delicious, and the service is truly some of the very best you will find in Palm Springs. They also specialize in whiskeys and offer wine tasting dinners which will make for a fabulous holiday party location. Be sure to try one of my favorites, the Snap Pea Ravioli w/Pancetta.
Fun Shopping:
From El Paseo to Cabazon, our small Valley has a world of luxury goods to choose from, in just about every price point. Shopping may be a national pastime but, Holiday shopping brings an extra sparkle to my eye. I love choosing the perfect gifts for family and friends and I don’t have to go far living in Palm Springs!
El Paseo
It is called the Rodeo Drive of the Desert for a reason. From Saks Fifth Avenue, to Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany’s, Bottega Veneta, Apple, LuLu Lemon and many many more. You can shop until you drop but, you don’t have to because El Paseo is also filled with fabulous cafes and restaurants to satisfy any taste. Stroll along the street, window shop, sit in a café and people watch with lunch dinner or cocktails, however you want your holiday shopping trip to go, you can find it here.
Cabazon
In the desert is Cabazon California, only about 12 minutes from Palm Springs, just through the pass. If you are looking for literally, every luxury brand at discount prices, there is no better place in the U.S.! There are even designer factory stores here that you cannot find anywhere else. For you Gucci lovers, they actually have a huge boutique with current season product and a separate store just for your Gucci kids! Come in comfortable shoes because the outlet mall is enormous and spreads out far and wide. It is all outdoors and it tends to be a good bit cooler than Palm Springs, so bring a jacket. You can find valet parking, discount coupons at the visitor’s center and plenty of snacks along the way to keep your blood sugar levels up!
Palm Springs, Downtown & Design District
I write about Palm Springs every year because we have such a plethora of unique, single location boutiques. You can find selections and merchandise that you won’t see at the mall and there is plenty of Palm Springs focused paraphernalia and gifts for those out-oftowners on your list.
Gift Of Charity:
Giving during the holiday season is one of finest ways to give back, enrich the lives of others in need and a reminder of just how lucky we are. The old adage, it is better to give than receive, is never truer than during Christmas. Dig deep and feel good. Try these long-time Valley charities…
Animal Samaritans, Thousand Palms
This incredible organization is celebrating 40 years of good work in the Valley. This nonprofit group takes in animals from across our desert and they offer pet services, shelter and veterinary clinic in Thousand Palms. Their adoption center is a place where volunteers love and care for unhoused pets. You can make donations to the organization directly or find their list of animal needs for the adoption center on Amazon. It can be as simple as a bag of food, toys or a pet bed. Every bit is needed and appreciated.
Well Of The Desert, Palm Springs
For 27 years The Well of the Desert has been serving meals 5 days a week and bag lunches on Saturday to the homeless population of the desert. That is more than 77,000 meals per year. There are men, women, children and families who go without food in our Valley of such abundance. No donation is ever too small or too big, this is how they put food on the table. They give sustenance, hope, love, compassion and dignity to those they serve. It is way beyond food. They advocate for the poor through services vital to our community.
Holiday Prep:
Gift Wrapping is one of my favorite holiday tasks. I have a gift wrapping & bow making tutorial on Youtube. Check it out and you can be a gift-wrapping master this Christmas. https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=xtgQAa465kc
No matter your plans, try adding some of these fun and meaningful things to enhance your holiday season. I wish you and yours, all the very best of the Holiday’s!
PALM SPRINGS GAY MEN’S CHORUS ANNOUNCES 25TH SEASON >>
The Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus (PSGMC) is ecstatic to announce that its 25th season concert line-up is inspiring, engaging and entertaining beginning with its annual holiday spectacular FA LA LA... FABULOUS! December 19, 20, 21 & 22, 2024 and in spring Disney Pride In Concert, April 24, 25, 26 & 27, 2025.
“PSGMC’s annual December concert is the “must see” event of the holiday season. To celebrate our silver anniversary, this year, we’re pulling out all the stops! The program will radiate the magic and wonder of the holiday season, the way we all felt when we were kids, with plenty of traditional holiday fare Sure on the Shining Night, Silent Night and We are Lights. These new arrangements will make you laugh with joy, That Christmas Morning Feeling, Pink Christmas and A Super Gay Christmas and some truly unexpected and fabulous surprises! The Chorus will be accompanied by some of the area’s finest instrumentalists,” said Jerry R. Soria-Foust, Artistic Director, PSGMC.
In its dual mission of musical excellence and singing for change, the Chorus has been giving back to the community for 25 years with a strong commitment to community service, which has made PSGMC “A Chorus Like No Other.”
Be our guest! This spectacular celebration of LGBTQ+ life, love, family, and pride is presented through the combination of timeless songs from the Disney songbook, curated video clips from the Disney vault, and the personal life experiences of singers. DISNEY PRIDE in Concert is a collection of iconic songs from nostalgic Disney films like Peter Pan, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King and Mary Poppins; and modern Disney and Pixar movies like Coco, Zootopia, Wreck-It Ralph in a masterful collection of some of the greatest and most memorable animated films of all time.
PSGMC will be one of only a handful of choruses across the country to present this our performances at the Annenberg Theatre.
From 2 to 102, this concert is suitable for all ages and there’s enough magic and pixie dust for the entire family!
The Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus is under the Artistic Direction of Jerry R. Soria-Foust. Joel Baker is the Principal Accompanist and Martin Coogan provides ASL.
Jerry R. Soria-Foust joined the Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus in September 2021 as a professional music educator and arts leader, with a career spanning more than 25 years. From 20052009, Jerry served as Artistic Director for the San Diego Men’s Chorus, where he led the chorus through a number of milestones, including performing as main stage entertainment on an ocean liner
for RSVP cruises, singing the national anthem for the San Diego Padres, and becoming the resident choral ensemble in the newly renovated Balboa Theatre in downtown San Diego. He also has held artistic and executive leadership positions with Berkeley Playhouse and Windy City Performs. He currently teaches in the Palm Springs Unified School District
Through musical excellence, community outreach, and civic responsibility, the Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus, seeks to entertain, inspire, and educate the culturally diverse community in which we live.
For a variety of ways to support the Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus, or to purchase tickets, visit www.PSGMC.com
PSP FOCUS
DEZART PERFORMS’ MAKES PLANS TO CONVERT PALM SPRINGS CHURCH INTO A THEATER
As a result of a multi-year Capital Fundraising Campaign, Dezart Performs has entered into contract to purchase the First Church of Christ, Scientist at 605 South Riverside Drive in Palm Springs to convert into a fully equipped professional theater. Designed by Albert Frey in 1957, the building is a pristine, perfectly preserved architectural gem.
The 6,000 sq. ft. Dezart Playhouse will help meet the expanding needs of the Company’s continuous growth in addition to serving as a hub for diverse activities, community events and cultural engagement. The new playhouse will enhance the vibrancy of the local arts scene ensuring a variety of voices and talents are represented and celebrated. The space will be converted to include a 150 seat fully equipped theater, dressing rooms, a rehearsal hall, meeting rooms, and lobby with box office and bar. “The transformation of this stunning Albert Frey-designed church into a state-of-the-art professional theater is not just a dream come true; it’s a profound honor,” says Founder and Artistic Director Michael Shaw. “We are privileged to have this unique and rare opportunity to breathe new life into this architectural gem. As we embark on this journey, I am filled with overwhelming joy at the prospect of creating a vibrant space for art and community in the heart of Palm Springs. This endeavor celebrates our rich history and fosters connections, creativity, and a sense of belonging for all who enter. Together, we will cultivate a dynamic environment where ideas flourish and community thrives.” The Dezart Playhouse will be open for the 2025/26 season based on the current schedule.
Writer/Producer and Palm Springs resident David C. Lee has generously pledged $500,000, which includes a $200,000 matching donor challenge to help cover the cost of a down payment to support the purchase of the building that will serve as a permanent theater home. “I am very excited about this project; Dezart Performs has been producing professional theater in Palm Springs for sixteen years.
The building was designed in 1957 by Albert Frey, one of the mid-20th century architectural giants in the Coachella Valley and listed on the National Register of Historic Places. The Board and staff of Dezart Performs respect the building’s architectural provenance and appreciate its Modernist aesthetic. “We intend to maintain its integrity as much as practical, consistent with the needs of a professional theater company,” says Board member and preservationist Eric Chiel. “The visual statement the building makes complements the quality of our stage work. Its materials, motifs, and color reflect Modernist principles and speak to the period during which it was created. Its striking design is an asset for the Company.” The project’s architect has not
yet been selected. Adam Gilbert and Kara Kalisvaart of The Firm are representing Dezart Performs in the purchase.
To date, Dezart Performs’ Next Stage Campaign has raised a total of $1,400,000 in gifts and pledges towards a $2 million goal for theater conversion and down payment of the building. In response to Lee’s challenge, the Campaign has raised $150,000 towards the $200,000 match and continues to seek matching funds for the down payment, which must be in hand by closing on November 29, 2024. The remaining $300,000 of his pledge will be paid over three years to assist with mortgage payments. Major donors to the campaign will receive permanent recognition as Founders and have a choice of naming opportunities. For information on how to support this campaign, contact Gailya Brown at gailya.brown@dezartperforms.org.
Dezart Performs, Palm Springs’ only Equity theatre and one of Coachella Valley’s preeminent theatre companies, recognizes that the performing arts enrich the life and culture of a community, promote greater understanding, and provoke insightful discussion. As a 501(c) (3) non-profit theatre company, its mission is to provide an artistic home for bold and cutting–edge plays, creating an atmosphere of artistic growth for actors, writers and directors who uniquely contribute to the diverse theatrical environment in the Coachella Valley.
For information about Dezart Performs’ 2024/25 season, visit dezartperforms.org or call 760-322-0179 ext 1.
Coachella
PERSPECTIVE WELCOMING COOLER TEMPS
BY JILL LANGHAM
I hope you all had a wonderful Pride experience. I am just returning from the Mex-Riviera Atlantis cruise and have never been more grateful to be out of Palm Springs!
You know I love Palm Springs, but this past summer was the worst one I’ve ever experienced! Let me say it again, this summer SUCKED!
The temperatures were unbearable most of the time and that alone might have been manageable but combine it with unhealthy, smoke-filled air and then some of the worst allergens that our valley has seen in over 100 years and the whole experience became untenable!
The last time I was in the sun was the week after July 4th and the 124 degrees, record breaking day. With temperatures averaging around 109 degrees day in and day out along with the very poor air quality made being outside an impossible feat for anyone with breathing issues, in this case, me.
I had to be referred to a pulmonologist as a result of two Lung CT scans that showed that I had both scattered punctate indeterminate micro-nodules in the bilateral lungs measuring less than 6 mm in size. Lung-RADS = 2 (Benign behavior) as well as mild centrilobular emphysema with mild bibasilar atelectatic change and/or scarring!
WTF!
Emphysema was not a diagnosis that I was ever hoping for, mild or not. I had studied emphysema in nursing school and knew it was a diagnosis that you cannot be cured from! So, I spent the last 6 months actively working on my lung health beginning with the cessation of all forms of marijuana inhalation. I switched to edibles immediately after the first lung CT scan.
Then while on my trip to Switzerland, I began walking up hills and mountains every day for 3 weeks breathing in 100% clean air and thankfully no allergens that negatively affected me. I began focusing on my breathing and could really feel how much my lung capacity had declined since having had Covid. It was frightening!
Once I returned from my trip, I made a vow that I would be
much more active with my cardio at the gym and immediately raised the elevation on the treadmill from zero to a minimum of 2.5 at times all the way up to 5.0 on days that I was feeling better. I continued to walk at a pace of 3.9 mph but upped my cardio time from 45 minutes to 60 minutes a day.
Since I have an Apple Watch, I was able to go back to determine what my VO2 max volume was prior to the past year and was shocked to find that during the early parts of Covid, prevaccine, my VO2 max volume was up to 40. Somewhere over the last year and a half it had dropped to 25 and that number completely freaked me out.
I began investigating what this means and found that a level of 25 is rather appropriate for someone in my age range. However, this did not make me feel comfortable since I have never been appropriate for my age range in any category, and I didn’t want to start now! LOL!
So, it was up to me to see if I was going to be able to improve my lung volume through exercise. About six weeks into the changed program, my Apple Watch notified me that there was a change in my status and that my VO2 max volume had gone up from 25 to 30. This made me very happy.
I was scheduled for a second Lung CT scan and this time the results were different.
There was no longer the presence of any micro nodules, nor was the word emphysema part of my summary, but my new pulmonologist told me that I do have a very mild case of it. The good news was that there had been an improvement in my condition which of course was a relief. I went from Lung-RADS = 2, to Lung- RADS = 1. A good sign!
I will continue to do my part and work my lungs thoroughly each morning with my cardio routine as well as my dance routine every weekend. But it is the state of the air in Palm Springs that concerns me.
We were told after Hurricane Hilary that we lost our protective layer of topsoil and that it would take about 2 years to get it back. With this loss, toxins and poisons are being released into our air and as they are so ancient we have no antibodies to protect ourselves.
That being the case, I wondered if the City of Palm Springs, wanting to protect its citizens, might create a mandate preventing landscapers from scalping the lawns, stopping the further loss of whatever topsoil we had left. But that was a pipe dream. And lo and behold as soon
as the scalping started, 1000’s of us came down with severe allergy symptoms as well as bronchitis and other respiratory illness.
Bronchitis usually runs its course in about 4-6 weeks. Now, I don’t know about you, but I would rather not spend another 4-6 weeks indoors, or be forced to buy more OTC medications, let alone prescriptions, or waste hours at urgent care waiting to be told that I do not have pneumonia, Covid, RSV or the flu. I never wanted to live in a bubble but feel that I have been doing so over the last 90 days. I have had to resort to getting spray tans just to look somewhat healthy while using a daily, oral Vitamin D replacement for the sun.
I think that I now know what Superman felt like under the spell of Kryptonite!
I wonder if others of you might be feeling the same way.
XOXO,
Jill, your sometimes Breathless, DQ
CIRCUIT
LET’S GET SOAKING WET ELIAD COHEN SPINS THE POOL PARTY BEATS AT URGE MIAMI FESTIVAL
BY TIM BLANKENSHIP
URGE Miami Festival returns this Thanksgiving weekend with three massive nighttime events and two sizzling daytime fetes including the Royal Palm Pool Party and the legendary Beach Party on the sands of South Beach. The LGBTQ+ festival weekend will take place November 29-December 2 and will feature a list of the world’s most famous circuit DJs playing at the city’s most prestigious venues. “URGE is not only a music festival,” says one the event’s producers, Luis Morera. “Throughout the years, it has become a place where friends, old and new, meet up to celebrate gratitude. URGE offers a space like no other where everyone has the freedom to express themselves while dancing to the sounds of the greatest DJs of our time.”
One of the DJs at this year’s URGE Miami Festival will be gay influencer Eliad Cohen. He will spin the Saturday pool party at the weekend’s host hotel, The Royal Palm South Beach, alongside Yazz Burrell and DJ Jerac. The annual bash is one of URGE Festivals’ most anticipated events. We spoke with Eliad Cohen from his home in Miami.
You’re known as a model, actor, fashion designer and Papa party producer. When did you add DJ to your resume?
Eliad Cohen: Music has always been a passion of mine, but while producing PAPA Parties, I couldn’t DJ since I had to manage the entire event—lights, visuals, opening shows, dancers, and coordinating the DJs. When Covid hit, I took the time to focus on music and started learning how to produce my own tracks.
How did you go about launching your DJing career?
EC: Over the past few years, I’ve played at some massive events, like Rio New Year, Circuit Festival, and other big festivals around the world. However, I officially started releasing my own music last February, and since then, I’ve been putting out a new track every month. I already have seven songs out, which have collectively reached three million streams on Spotify. I’m incredibly grateful and happy with how things are progressing.
What excites you most about performing at the Urge Miami Festival this year?
EC: I’ve been working with Urge Festival for twelve years now, and it’s always exciting to see the event grow each year. The festival attracts a beautiful crowd from all over the world, and I’m thrilled to be part of the celebration.
How does the energy at Urge Miami Festival compare with other festivals you’ve DJed at around the world?
EC: Miami has a unique energy, and Urge Festival is no exception. The production is always top-notch, which makes it stand out compared to other events.
DJ ELIAD COHEN PHOTO CREDIT ELIAD COHEN
Can you tell us about any special tracks or mixes you’ve prepared specifically for this event?
EC: I’m currently working on my first album and have five new tracks that I haven’t released yet. I’m super excited to debut some of them for the first time at Urge Festival.
Why is Miami the perfect city to celebrate Thanksgiving weekend?
EC: The weather, the people, the locations... It’s Miami! It’s hard to find a better place to celebrate. I’ve been living in Miami for five years now, and the big festivals here, both gay and straight, have
definitely influenced the sound and energy I bring to my sets.
As someone who’s been involved in the gay scene for some time, what does it mean to perform in front of your legions of fans?
EC: It’s the best feeling ever to play my own music in front of my crowd. What’s even better is hearing them sing along to my original songs. Knowing they know the lyrics by heart—it means the world to me.
Tickets for Urge Miami Festival are available online at UrgeMiamiFestival.com
MUSIC CLAY AND KELSY’S BOLD DEBUT EP I AM
BY THALIA ALLEMAN
Los Angeles-based synth-pop duo Clay and Kelsy are back with their highly anticipated debut EP, I Am, an intoxicating collection featuring five original tracks, out November 15th. Through their own narratives, Clay and Kelsy delve into themes of identity, selfacceptance, and the complexities of love. The EP is a journey of vulnerability and empowerment
As music artists, producers, and instrument designers founding CKI, a woman-owned Software Instrument Company, partnered with notable Native Instruments, their innovative take on the industry as female forward powerhouses is unstoppable.
They have released 2 original singles to date titled “Bluff” and recently, “Insecure,” a track off their 1st EP (of a 3-part series) titled, “I Am.”
Clay and Kelsy trended as the #1 soundtrack song on Apple Music with their sultry, symphonic rendition of “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley and the Wailers, reaching over 478,000 organic streams on Spotify. “Three Little Birds” was recently featured in Apple TV’s award-winning series, The Morning Show.
https://music.trendpr.com/clayandkelsy
SMASHBY’S TORCH SONG IS ABOUT MORE THAN MOVING ON FROM LOVE
BY BEN NELSON
Smashby’s latest single, Love Myself (How I Used to Love You), marks an emotional and stylistic shift for the rising pop artist. Drawing inspiration from a past heartbreak, the song serves as an anthem of self-love and empowerment, delivering a message that resonates with listeners who’ve experienced the pain of unrequited love and come out stronger on the other side.
In a recent interview, Smashby shared how the song was born from the moment he saw an ex-partner announce their engagement on social media. “I didn’t feel any jealousy or ill will,” Smashby explained. “Instead, I felt grateful that it wasn’t me they were engaged to. I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I hadn’t learned to love myself when they couldn’t.” This surprising sense of gratitude allowed Smashby to channel past emotions into a track that speaks to the process of learning to “unlove” someone and redirect that energy inward, focusing on self-growth.
The song’s central theme of self-acceptance comes from Smashby’s own journey. After coming out, he thought he had fully embraced who he was, but he realized there were still parts of himself he hadn’t accepted. “Self-love is such a journey,” Smashby said. “I realized I still had a little more accepting of myself to do.”
Musically, Love Myself (How I Used to Love You) represents a bold departure from Smashby’s previous dance-pop hits. Embracing country pop, Smashby returns to his musical roots, noting how his vocal coach always encouraged him to sing country and folk songs as a child. “I’ve always had a love for pop music, but vocally, I feel most at home with country,” he shared. The shift in genre also coincided with a change in his songwriting. After years of focusing on highenergy dance tracks, the pandemic left Smashby uninspired. It wasn’t until a heartbreak on New Year’s Eve 2023 that he rediscovered his passion for storytelling.
Smashby’s evolution as an artist has been shaped by his experiences growing up queer and dealing with bullying, which has significantly influenced his message of self-love. He reflected on the importance of having a queer artist to look up to, noting how he wanted to be the kind of role model he didn’t have growing up. While female pop icons offered him anthems of empowerment, Smashby understood the importance of seeing a queer artist embrace their identity openly. “That’s why I’m so focused on country,” he said. “It allows me to tell stories, and that’s what I think my audience will appreciate most from me.”
As an openly queer artist, Smashby is unafraid of vulnerability. He acknowledges that while some songwriters prefer to keep their personal lives private, he’s comfortable being an open book.. “If the guys who inspired the songs ask, you best believe I’m gonna make something up on the spot.” This willingness to share his experiences adds to the raw emotion behind Love Myself (How I Used to Love You).
“The most important relationship you can have is with yourself,” he sums up. “Be kind to yourself the way you would others, because at the end of the day, people come and go, but we have ourselves our whole lives. Let’s make it as fun and easy as possible.”
“Love Myself (How I Used to Love You)” is out now on all major streaming platforms via So Fierce Music, distributed by The Orchard, a Sony Music company.
Q&A
VANDER’S PUMP RULES VANDER PULASKI CALLS THE SHOTS IN KINKMEN’S DO WHAT I SAY
BY SPENCER WHITE
Vander Pulaski, a bona fide star in the adult film industry known for his charisma and versatility, is making a bold move into the world of kink with his latest role in KinkMen’s Do What I Say. In the intense film that delves into the realms of domination and submission – and explores the dynamics of control and obedience - Pulaski teams up with Greg Hollywood. Together, the men add a new dimension to kink, showcasing their willingness to push boundaries and embrace the edgier side of adult entertainment. Vander Pulaski explains more from his rural and remote home in Oregon.
Are you originally from Oregon?
Vander Pulaski: No, I’m from Pennsylvania. I grew up in a suburban neighborhood north of Pittsburgh. My dad was a family doctor, and my mom was a physical therapist. They used to share an office. I have a lot of memories of being in their offices as a kid, including one of my dad showing me how a sigmoidoscope is used to look inside a person’s colon.
Were you a jock?
I wouldn’t have considered myself a jock at the time, but I did swim competitively from about ages 10 until 17.
When did you have your first same sex experience?
I was 15 the first time I had sex. I bottomed for a friend on the swim team. I had experienced oral sex at a park near me before then, though. I had heard it was “cruisy” in AOL chatrooms, so I checked it out. I met an older guy leaning against a tree.
What led to your pursuing a career in adult film?
I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist. I am rather introverted by nature but am paradoxically more comfortable when I am naked. I also was looking for a way to make decent money while I was pursuing my career goals in biology. I didn’t consider porn as a career path until fan sites became viable. They have allowed me more flexibility and self-determination in the industry while also challenging my previous assumption that I would age out of the industry sooner than now.
What are the best parts of the job?
Having sex with incredibly hot guys.
How has being a porn star impacted your dating life?
I have had partners who had difficulty accepting my career. Most recently, with the fan sites, it has been difficult at times balancing how much to share with fans. I don’t want to monetize every sexual experience I have, nor can I perform on demand. It is still a constant question of how much of myself I want to keep private for me and my real-life partners.
When did you first discover kink?
It depends how you define a kink. As for bondage, I was first tied up by a friend when I was 19. He introduced me to both dom/ sub power dynamics as well as a few specific kinks, including rope bondage, watersports, and CBT.
Do you like pain?
Not generally. But some pain begins to feel good, like qas with CBT. Or when the pain is a tribute to the power dynamic at play, I like that.
Do you find pleasure in being disciplined?
Yes, sir.
The scene in KinkMen’s “Do What I Say” is literally Greg Hollywood beating your balls… that had to hurt!
Beating my balls hurts in a really good way. I like it!
Were the screams real?
If I’m screaming, it’s real. I am a pretty terrible actor. Directors often encourage me to react and play up what is happening in a scene. I prefer to have the reactions be legitimate. It also encourages the tops to increase their intensity!
How did the director keep things from getting out of hand on set?
There are always safe words. I have never had to use them.
Do you prefer being the dom or sub?
Generally, I prefer being submissive. Though I do think there is a bit of an age/maturity component to that. As I get older and become more of a daddy, domming has seemed more natural.
Will you play the dom role in an upcoming KinkMen film?
I played the dom role in my scene with Buck Richards! I have not filmed another scene as a dom since then, but who knows what the future holds. I would be willing!
What is something fans would be surprised to know about you?
I have a master’s degree in biology and professionally, I am a cannabis breeder, agronomist, and mycologist.
What is the biggest misconception about Vander Pulaski that you would like to clear up once and for all?
People may be surprised that I often go through phases in sexual desire. While I can at times have an insatiable sexual appetite, it is not infrequent that I have little interest in sex for weeks at a time. I am always down to bate it, though.
What makes you smile?
Good times with family, friends, and nature. Good music. Tropical beaches and forests. Reaching a personal goal.
What makes you angry?
Right-wing politics and environmental destruction.
You find a magic genie bottle. What are your three wishes?
A society where wage-labor is obsolete, and humans have moved beyond capitalism. A world that has solved the most pressing environmental issues. And lastly, I want people to be free and happy to choose their own destiny, whatever that entails, constrained only by the limitations of our reality and without any influence of dogmatic religions and state power, if they do not interfere with the rights of others.
Which celebrity would you most like to slide into your DMs?
Ilana Glazer or Sarah Silverman.
You’re about to be hit by a truck (sorry). What flashes before your eyes?
That I had a good run while it lasted!
What does your gravestone read?
Lived life by the load.
Vander Pulaski stars in KinkMen’s “Do What I Say”, available now on KinkMen.com
VANDER PULASKI PHOTO BY KINKMEN.COM
VANDER PULASKI PHOTO BY MENONEDGE.COM
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