Silver Linings by The Tertangala

ISSUE THREE

n rrai s te rou e h ac tre re a w be

hre et issu

S I LV E R L I N I N G S

Trigger warn ing: This issue c ontains con tent of a sensitive na ture. This in cludes discussion surrounding the good, the bad an d the ugly o f mental hea lth. Reader disc retion is ad vised.

EDITOR’S NOTE

WUSA PRESIDENT REPORT

VOX POPS

CON TENTS

OPINIONS

C A P I TA L I S M & M E N TA L H E A LT H

P R A C T I C I N G M E N TA L H Y G I E N E : NORMALISING VISITS TO THE PSYCHOLOGIST

MAKING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

W H AT 4 0 K G AV E M E

TA K I N G A D E E P B R E AT H : HOW TO HELP YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE FEELING ANXIOUS

S TAY S A N E O N E X C H A N G E

L A U G H Y O U R W AY T O S U C C E S S

F E AT U R E A R T I S T

10-11

DAMAGE CONTROL: A C C U R AT E R E P R E S E N TAT I O N N E E D E D

STIGMA

PERSONAL STORIES

STORIES FROM THE WARD

OCD

MY DESCENT TO AND FROM DARKNESS

SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS, SMALL ACTS OF BRAVERY

I WAS LOST

F E AT U R E S

CHAASENBERG

SILENCE AGAINST VIOLENCE

REVIEWS

THE LAZY MISCONCEPTION OF BEING LOST

GET UNTHINGED

HELP I’M ADDICTED TO SPORT

HAPPINESS AND SOCIAL CONNECTIONS

BOOK REVIEW: STILL ALICE B Y L I S A G E N O VA

OF FLOWERS, SEX AND BRINGING T H E 6 0 S B A C K AT U O W

C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

THIRST

LOVE IS NOT EXCUSE FOR ABUSE

A S M E N TA L A S

NUMBERED GHOSTS

AUGUST PULL-OUT CALENDAR

F E AT U R E P H O T O G R A P H E R

K AY L A R E AY P O S T E R

J U LY P U L L - O U T C A L E N D A R

K A Y L A R E A Y, M A K I N G M E N T A L H E A LT H P R E T T Y

L I V I N G W I T H M E N TA L I L L N E S S - T H AT I S N ’ T Y O U R S

CONTRIBUTORS

cont.

EDITOR’S NOTE Gemma Mollenhauer Bec Wiggins

EDITOR’S NOTE Hello readers and welcome back to the bump and grind of semester two! For our first issue of this semester we sought to delve into a topic flowing over rough terrain. The topic directly affects 1 in 5 Australians, and yet carries a stigma and a sense of taboo that makes it difficult to discuss. It’s almost as common as the common cold, and yet it’s something we’re all too keen to push down and ignore. Welcome to our mental health issue: Silver Linings. Let’s say you have four friends. Four very close friends whom you care about deeply and visa versa, and who you’d never want to see harmed. But here’s the bad news: according to the mental health database Mindframe, one in five Australians will experience a mental illness in their lives. That means that you, or one of your dear friends will be put through the hardship and suffering that go along with mental illness. When one of you or your four friends does experience mental illness, you can expect it to probably be an anxiety disorder, which affects 14% of Australians yearly. Otherwise, it could be a major depressive episode (3% of Australians per year), substance abuse (5% of Australians per year), a psychotic illness (3% of Australians) or an eating disorder (2% of Australians). Unfortunately, on top of this, only 35% of Australians suffering from mental illness will seek help. So in all probability, you won’t even know if anything is wrong with your friends.

- That is why it’s so important to start the conversation and reduce the taboo of talking about mental health.

This issue, the Tert authors are bearing the most personal aspects of their lives: the good, the bad and the ugly of mental health. And we couldn’t be prouder of them! It’s hard to talk about your problems openly but it hurts more to bottle it up. It’s crucial that mental illness is not swept under the rug as it has been for so long. Because there is nothing shameful about being mentally ill, and you can get help to get back to health. We encourage our readers to talk to their loved ones or close friends, if not for you then for them. We hope the bravery of our authors can inspire you. What most people don’t understand is that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel (as cliché as that sounds), but it does get better- there is always a silver lining. Seeking help and talking about our problems is the first step on the slippery dip of recovery. I (Bec) have been suffering from depression varying in severity since I was 16 and have recently begun medication for this, although I never would have sought help if it wasn’t for a discussion with my friend. It took me so long to be ok with talking about my problems and addressing the fact that I wasn’t just being a “drama queen”. Even talking openly about these problems now is very uncomfortable. However, it shouldn’t be, and I’m hoping to lead by example. And likewise, I (Gem) have had numerous friends and family who have needed my support throughout their time of need. Initially, I was shocked when my bulletproof Mum became depressed after the death of her sister, however after she sought help and became well again, I came to the realisation that becoming depressed should be talked about as if it were the common cold- affecting everyone, and with a good solution in therapy and medication. We warn our readers that some of the content in this issue is of a sensitive nature and may cause some readers distress. Therefore, reader discretion is advised.

Love, Bec & Gem

WUSA PRESIDENT REPORT Peter Munford @petermunford93

Hi UOW students! Welcome back to a new session at our fine institution! I hope that you had a good first session for 2015, and that you went well in all your exams. Hopefully you all got a good chance to rest up over the break, ready for 2nd session of 2015! WUSA is preparing for a big second session, with a lot of new campaigns and exciting developments coming up, so stay tuned for those. I want to quickly touch on an issue that has gotten a lot of attention in recent times- the proposed changes to graduations at UOW. For those of you who aren’t aware, UOW has shifted to a new graduation model. The affected faculties of Law, Humanities and Arts; Sciences and Medicine will be shifted to graduations in April 2016, whilst Business and Engineering retain their December graduation date. This change has adversely affected many students who have planned their schedules around a December graduation, particularly International students, whose visas expire at the end of January. WUSA has taken up the fight on this issue. These changes were made without much student consultation, and for this the WUSA Council has condemned the University. The reasoning given by the University for this change is that they can no longer accommodate the number of students expected to graduate in 2015 during December graduations. At a meeting of the Student Representative Forum on the 3rd of June, representatives from University administration confirmed that they will not be reviewing this change, however, they did commit to assessing how international students can be catered for. WUSA will be holding the University to account on this.

“WUSA’s Free Breakfast is available every day from 9-11am in the WUSA Space.”

This next session coming up will be a big one for WUSA. The WUSA Council has committed to making reforms to the structure of WUSA to make the association more relevant and beneficial to students. WUSA will also run a campaign against homophobia, transphobia and sexism. These kinds of behaviours cannot be tolerated on our campus, and WUSA will fight to ensure that UOW can be a safe place for all students, no matter their gender or sexual preference. WUSA will also be continuing to fight against the Federal Government’s bogus education reforms. The 2015 Federal Budget was a kick in the teeth for students, being left out in the dark with cuts to higher education funding, fee deregulation still on the agenda, and changes to Newstart and Youth Allowance that will force young people to wait over a month for these payments should they become unemployed. WUSA is committed to fighting alongside the National Union of Students in campaigning against the government’s unfair agenda for students. Finally, a brief update for all our members who were affected by the WUSA printer being unavailable last session. The printer was delayed for almost 3 months thanks to an issue with WUSA’s account with our printing supplier, which meant the printer could not receive vital maintenance. This issue has now been resolved. As compensation to members affected, we have increased the number of pages available to all current members from 10 to 30 pages per day. All new members signing up will receive 10 pages per day. On behalf of the WUSA Council, I sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused by the printer being unavailable. As always, WUSA’s Free Breakfast is available every day from 9-11am in the WUSA Space. The WUSA Book Bank is open Monday-Thursday from 9-2pm. WUSA memberships are still available for $20, with this likely to be reduced in the next few weeks. Come see us at the WUSA Space (Ground floor Building 19), grab some free brekkie, get some cheap textbooks, and join the fight for fair and accessible education for UOW Students! Peter Munford, WUSA President.

VOX POPS

DO YOU THINK THERE IS A S T I G M A T H AT HINDERS PROPER UNDER S TA N D I N G OF M E N TA L H E A LT H ?

VOX POPS

Yes. I don’t think that people class mental illness as a disease or a problem, I think that there’s a stigma that it’s all a psychosomatic kind of thing. There needs to be more awareness about what the issues are.

I’m sure there is. People think that they’re different in some way, you just have to increase awareness. Once it’s more known then we can reduce the stigma. It’s the same stigma surrounding the LGBTQIA community.

Amy Starling Bachelor of Communication and Media

Ashley Vicary Bachelor of Economics and Finance

I think there’s a negative stigma attached to it because of the way it’s handled in society and the way it’s perceived, it’s the fear associated with it. All it would take is education to overcome that and for it to become an everyday thing. Because it’s not such a physical thing people tend to ignore it, a greater understanding of it would allow for it to be better accepted in society.

Yeah, there’s huge stigma surrounding mental health, particularly in Australia. I think it comes from a lack of understanding and a lack of education about the issues like how differently mental illness affects people, I don’t think that’s fully understood. I think we need to start putting a real focus on what mental health is especially in school curriculums, for the safety and wellbeing of everyone else too, not just the individual themselves,

Ben Peterson Bachelor of Arts

Holly Doust-Robinson Bachelor of Media and Communications

Definitely, people don’t treat it like it’s any other normal physical illness, it’s definitely tip-toed around treated much differently for sure. Jacob Hogan Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering

Yes, I read a quote and it’s pretty much everything I want to say about mental health. “That’s the stigma, because unfortunately, we live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you’re depressed, everyone runs the other way. That’s the stigma. We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down other than our brains. And that’s ignorance. That’s pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created a world that doesn’t understand depression, that doesn’t understand mental health” - Kevin Breel Montana Vaccari Bachelor of Arts and Commerce

OPINIONS

OPINION Ben Kohler @FakeBenKohler

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thetert@gmai

Over the past few decades feelings of depression have increased, discussions of this issue typically ignore the basic nature of the society in which we live. However, capitalism is fundamentally bad for mental health. People need to be able to nurture and exercise certain powers and desires if they are to become fully developed human beings. People want to exercise control over their own lives, they want to establish feelings of connection not just to people individually but on a much broader scale and feel like a valuable and valued part of the world they inhabit. They want to be creative and contribute in positive ways to the world. Capitalism denies most people the possibility for these things. It often confronts people as a hostile, monolithic and allpowerful force, hence the use of terms like “the system” and “the machine”. It is cold, impersonal, and leaves people at the mercy of forces beyond their control. They want to be creative and contribute to the world in positive ways. People do not mind working; it is simply that when people work they want it to be creative, valuable and also to be a process that they have power over in in a very general way. People do not want work to be dull, monotonous, repetitive and basically worthless in a social sense. This description is not applicable to everyone, but it is generally applicable to work under capitalism. Work of this kind is alienating; it is something that is external to the being of the person engaged in the work and is something which does not belong to them. When engaged in this kind of work people do not get to be creative and feel as though the work is socially meaningful and valuable. It is only when people get back to their house that they feel better, that they feel at home. People only feel this way when they are back at their residence eating, drinking, sleeping, having sex, even going to the toilet, because then they are not at work and they have escaped for the time being. People then feel more human when sitting around instead of at work, where they have to deal with micro-managing bosses. The negative mental health effects of alienating labour, aside from alienation itself, should seem clear. Feelings of worthlessness, great amounts of anxiety, boredom, anger, frustration and depression are to be expected when work in a society generally fits this description.

There have been trends in the last few decades that have exacerbated problems regarding the mental health of people in the advanced capitalist countries, the most interesting of these, I think, is what I like to call, “The Emptying of Life”. That is, life in a social sense is stripped of meaning, substance, social value and higher ideals. This is a natural consequence of neoliberalism and is a key feature of the era of postmodernity Increasingly everything in the public sphere has come under the sway of the cold, utilitarian logic of capital where the only value that matters anything is exchange value; everything else is pushed into the private sphere. People discuss morality more in relation to anal sex between two men and whether said men should be allowed to marry than just about anything else. Culturally speaking, we live in an empty age. Music is interesting in this connection. The biggest names in popular music today include names like Nicki Minaj, One Direction, LMFAO and Katy Perry. It is not a matter of taste whether this kind of music is sophisticated, or takes great talent to write and perform, or discusses topics of significance in a social or even individual sense and a whole host of other attributes that almost anyone would agree contribute substantially to making any music “great”. Such music is shallow, vacuous and meaningless. Compare this to forty years ago when Pink Floyd was one of the biggest musical acts on the planet. Their music is sophisticated, highly emotive and has a great deal of social commentary; it has plenty of meaning to it. Comparing the lyrics of “Time” and Nicki Minaj’s “Stupid Hoe” is a depressing experience. This hollowing out of life can lead people to puzzle over what point there might be to living to an even greater extent. A question philosophers like to ask is “Why is there something rather than nothing?” A sardonic “Why indeed?” from a depressed teenager seems reasonable in a world so shallow and empty. The reasons for the proliferation of mental health issues should not be sought for on an individual basis, but on a social basis. Capitalism is based on the ownership and control of society as a whole by a super-wealthy few, fosters individualism* and operates with a coldly pragmatic utilitarian logic geared towards the ceaseless accumulation of capital. Should it be surprising, then, that such a system is not conducive to good mental health?

OPINION

DAMAGE CONTROL: Misuse of Medical Terminology Mental illness should not be a scary thing. However, how it presented in mass media does portray it in a way that isn’t transparent. Sometimes it demonises sufferers of the disease or blurs meanings so much that it is barely recognisable – that no one truly understands what mental illness is. Here are some of the ways that mass media distorts mental illness:

Some of the most misused medical terms are obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar, schizophrenia and psychopath/sociopath. Many people are guilty of it. Hell, I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of it in the past. Misusing medical terminology to describe everyday behaviours is not cool. It minimises and degrades real and serious health conditions. SciShow hosted by Hank Green, is an excellent web show that takes the time to point out common misuse and then thoroughly explain what the above four medical terminologies actually mean. One television show that is a constant perpetrator of misuse of medical terminology goes by the name Twisted. On this show, Avan Jogia’s character Danny Desai was convicted of murdering his aunt when he was 11, and so when he is released from juvenile detention there is quite a stir. One girl labels him a “sociopath”. Here’s however those who suffer from sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder, exhibit a lack of conscience, clearly not the case with Danny Desai. From what I remember about the show (which isn’t much, I only watched 3 episodes), it was set up that way to make you question whether Jogia’s character was a sociopath.Here’s the kicker, the girl that made this sociopath claim wasn’t a medical professional. She was a high school student whom stuck a label on a convicted criminal – and someone that has expressed regret at his actions, no less.The show’s use of it in its particular context criminalises and demonises people with this disease. It makes these people seem like they should be feared, like they’d snap at any moment and kill you if you looked at them the wrong way.

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That isn’t to say that there are not potential dangers involved with any of these conditions, but to misuse them in such a way makes them seem more volatile than they actually are. If terminology was used correctly to educate people, then there wouldn’t be such a stigma.

OPINION Claudia Poposki @claudiapop13

A C C U R AT E R E P R E S E N TAT I O N NEEDED! Celebrity Suicide

Lack of Context

When anyone feels the need to take his or her own life, it is a horrible occasion. When it’s people we look up to, it’s a whole new level of emotion. The reporting of celebrity suicide, in some instances, does, in some aspects, glorify taking your own life.

When suicide is discussed, it is usually contributed to one event and not the extent of the struggle that these people have gone through. Take the Germanwings plane crash, for example. The reasons behind why Andreas Lubitz began the descent that would lead to the deaths of 149 other people are unknown.

The Forever 27 Club is a group of musicians who died at the age of 27, some, like Kurt Cobain, committed suicide, others died of overdoses or car accidents. The existence of the club itself glamorises dying young. However, it is troublesome when artists like Lana Del Rey, who after listing Cobain and Amy Winehouse as her (and her partner’s) greatest heroes, says in an interview with The Guardian, “I wish I was dead already.” The announcement itself is troublesome. When she said this, Del Rey was obviously in a bad place mentally, and has since deleted several tweets. However, celebrities have considerable influence and this story was picked up by several other news outlets – imagine the audience that it reached. It took Frances Bean Cobain, Kurt Cobain’s daughter, to put suicide in perspective. Cobain posted a series of tweets, expressing: “It shows the consequences of suicide, something those who are considering taking their life, don’t always think about. It takes away from the glamour reporting and shows the truth – that suicide isn’t beautiful but a tragedy”.

Media outlets began to release details of Lubitz’ struggles with mental health, which had forced him out of training for his pilot license for 18 months. This was context – Lubitz had prior treatment for depression and suicidal tendencies. At the time of the crash, however, his medical treatment was disclosed as not being for depression. It then came out that he and his girlfriend had split up before the crash, and so many people attributed this to being the reason why Lubitz allegedly did what he did. The truth is, without all the evidence and without every piece of medical history and context; it won’t make sense. Attributing the reason to one cause isn’t a realistic view. Yes, it might have been a breaking point, but it means nothing without all the other information. Reporting suicide in this way gives the belief that one harsh word will drive these people to do dangerous things in an attempt to die. This case, if mental illness even is the cause, is one in a million. To report suicide in this way lessens any pain that these people go through, and that is wrong. It perpetuates stereotypes of these people being fragile. When mass media represents mental illness in these negative ways, it perpetuates stereotypes and prevents people from understanding what mental illness actually is. So please, if you see any media organisation doing this, ignore it. Do your own research, talk to people. To rid the world of such misunderstandings, accurate representation is needed. Hopefully the media can catch up.

OPINION

STIGMA I’m white. I’m straight. I’m cisgender. And for the past 7 years I’ve suffered with depression. There is a lot of stigma around mental health issues, and in all fairness for people who have never encountered mental health issues, it can be a difficult concept to understand. However, a lot of prejudice and judgment comes from within the ranks of the ‘1 in 4’.

This is especially true on social commentary websites, such as Tumblr. There is a growing belief that mental health issues need to be legitimised by hardship or difference. But that’s unfair, and it just creates further fractures between sufferers of mental health illnesses, and support and acceptance. Privilege doesn’t exclude you from mental health issues. In both examples, stigmatisation of mental illness, whether it comes from the greater society or from fellow sufferers, is grounded in a lack of understanding. External factors, such as the socially induced stress that’s so common in our post-pubescent lives, can cause a decline into depressive or anxiety disorders. But in many cases, there are no obvious indicators of why someone is anxious or depressed. First things first, let’s educate ourselves. The Black Dog Institute has theorised that there are four different kinds of depression: Psychotic Depression: most severe depressive mood combined with psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations or delusions. Melancholic Depression: severe depressive mood combined with psychomotor disturbances such as slowed movement, low energy, poor concentration. This is a classic form of biological depression Non-Melancholic Depression: depression which is not melancholic, which essentially means it is not biological in nature, but rather has to do with personality types or stressful events in a sufferer’s life.

OPINION Laura Melhuish

Atypical Depression: a juxtaposition of the traditional symptoms of depression; oversleeping rather than insomnia, significant weight gain, rather than weight loss, and is characterised by sensitivity to interpersonal rejection. This demonstrates that there is a difference between people who suffer depression because of stressful, negative events in their life, and people who suffer depression due to biological shortcomings within themselves. Further research also suggests that there is a 40% chance of genetically inheriting a mental health disorder.

realised there are many different ways in which people can be affected by depression. It was also around this time that I began to see that my genealogy might have contributed something to the mix. My nanna suffered from severe anxiety, my aunty is drugged to the eyeballs for both anxiety and depression, and my mum has been taking anti-depressants for the last ten years. Did I ever really stand a chance?

Using myself as an overly self-analysed case study; I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 14, just as I was starting year 8. I lived in a big home, with a dog and a cat, with married parents and anything else that would be classically defined as ‘everything you could want for’. And then all of a sudden, for no reason that I could determine, I no longer wanted to meet with my friends, I started crying all the time, I wasn’t gaining weight and I wanted nothing to do with life.

Cognitive behaviour therapy was inexpressibly helpful in dealing with my anxiety. I thought I was cured, I stopped taking antidepressants and started taking life by the balls. And then last year life began to get shit again. Social events held zero interest for me, whilst bed was looking like a suitable lifelong habitat. I was heavily, inconsolably, suffocatingly miserable, and none of the methods I had learnt were working for me. I went back to a psychologist, and after much convincing (‘I’m stronger than this!’) I decided to go back on anti-depressants. And from the moment they kicked in I realised that my problem isn’t a weakness, or a personality trait that can be modified through therapy. Much like the way diabetics do not produce enough insulin, I don’t produce enough serotonin or dopamine for the rate at which it’s broken down in my body.

It took me years before I was willing to admit I had a problem (‘why can’t you accept this is just who I am?!’), and even then I felt guilty for needing help when there were people in the world who had legitimate reasons to be miserable. It wasn’t until my rural-arse finally got access to mental health services that I

This is not something that can be justified by a hardship in my life. I’ve never dealt with racism, I’ve never been ostracized for my sexual preferences, or the way I identify with gender. I wasn’t even bullied at school. But I have depression, and I deserve guilt-free treatment and understanding just as much as anybody

PERSONAL STORIES

STORIES FROM THE WARD

UOW student Ingrid Murry was fifteen when she was first admitted to the adolescent ward in Westmead Hospital. The first time was a nervous breakdown, followed by two suicide attempts within the following twelve months. Ten weeks of her teenage life was spent in psych-wards between June 2012 and July 2013. When Ingrid was last admitted, the hospital procedure with suicide attempts was pretty straight forward. Once medically cleared from the emergency room, the patient is interviewed by a psych registrar. They determine whether they are safe to go home or not. In the latter case, they are admitted to a long stay ward, with a potential wait of up to 3-4 days in the short stay ward. Ingrid has been in both and each are very different. “If there is one word to describe the ward, it would be sterile. A blank place, but with that companionship of other people experiencing the same thing.” Ingrid summarised her long stay experience at Westmead. Most of the adolescent patients often kept to themselves, and there was an unspoken agreement where a nurse was essentially assigned to each person. Ingrid talked to her nurse about everything. “Obviously they had professional boundaries they couldn’t cross, but they didn’t observe you like lab rats,” she said. Other nurses were more intense, one in particular thought anything could trigger Ingrid and her fellow patients: “We were sitting around watching TV, and there was this hilarious ad saying ‘Did you know that teenagers are self-harming right now?’ We all just cacked ourselves because it was so ironic. But this nurse flew across his desk and turned off the TV saying ‘Is everyone okay? Is everyone alright?’” There was a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy across the ward and patients weren’t allowed in each other’s rooms. What the ward didn’t take into account was that one nurse that fell asleep watching the patients. In those moments, they would share their stories, ones that the ward tried to hide. “No-one started crying or anything,” Ingrid remembered. “It was just like ‘yeah, this happened’.” Often Ingrid and the other patients would laugh over the things that the nurses would make them do, be it playing with

PERSONAL STORIES Zoe Ridgeway

Play-Doh to eating chocolate. “They made us sniff the chocolate and put it in our mouths to ‘feel how it was to have it there.’” Ingrid found it hard to take these rules seriously, and became the trouble maker of the ward. For some days, the nurses would take them for walks outside around the hospital. On one occasion, Ingrid saw people smoking around the back of the building. Seeing the opportunity, she scabbed a cigarette and subtly rejoined the group. It goes without saying that smoking wasn’t allowed. Later that night they had quiet time. “You would have to go and sit in your room for an hour and do nothing.” Ingrid recalled. “So I just sat in my cupboard, lit my cigarette and hotboxed it. Ingrid hated quiet time and would often escape when the chance presented itself. “I would hide behind the couch and watch the nurses go around saying ‘For fucks-sake Ingrid’. I watched them get more and more panicked, running around saying ‘Ingrid’s not in her room! Ingrid’s not in her room!’ When they finally saw me I’d be like ‘sup.’” Short term was at Nepean hospital, had the same sterile air as long term, but was a completely different world for Ingrid. It was small ward, where everything was grey. If it weren’t for the fact that she was a young girl, Ingrid would have been placed in one of the two rooms that had beds, separated by curtains which the nurses could see around. “Short term nurses would stay the fuck away from you essentially,” Ingrid said. “They would give you your medication but wouldn’t talk to you beyond that. They were there to purely observe...and all the patients would do there is sit and think” This was the place where you would find adults that had just tried to kill themselves or right in the middle of nervous breakdowns. In her first stay, Ingrid shared a ward with five others. There was a woman that constantly screamed, and another that heard voices. One man she met had schizophrenia and alternated between the personas of a pharaoh, cleaner and Abraham Lincoln. They were relatable to portrayals often found in movies, but also far more complex. “They aren’t just crazy,” Ingrid stated, “they have dreams and ideas that they can talk about, but they don’t relate it to themselves. They can’t in that state.” Her closest friend in short stay was a model who had tried to kill

herself after coming out of an abusive relationship. “We would sit up and talk all night,” Ingrid remembered. “I’d always want her to talk about her dreams, because she would say that as soon as she got out of short stay she would try again. She dreamed of modelling in London, I hope she did that.” However, Ingrid couldn’t know what was going to happen to half of the patients post-release. In a way the inevitable distance that fell between Ingrid and the people she met in the ward was something of a necessity for her. “A lot of my process is not holding onto the things that happened to me in the psychwards,” she said, “but I have them on Facebook to check up on them every now and then.” It was always a good feeling for Ingrid when she saw her peers get discharged, but knew it was by no means an indicator of whether they would be okay. The reality of mental illness is that you can feel fine one minute and lose it the next. “One of the biggest difficulties is getting that fear out of my mind that it wouldn’t last, because that is what made it not last.” Ingrid admitted. “When something bad happened post-release I would freak out and think I knew it! I was going to go back to that dark place.” Since July 2013, Ingrid has not been in a psych-ward. As far as they go with stopping people who are at risk at committing suicide, she believes they are important, but still have so much to learn in regards to recognising the individual. “They would lump us together and go ‘hey play with some PlayDoh, this will probably help one or two of you but we don’t give a fuck.’ Like we were a part of a statistic.” This is what she has to say to anyone who finds themselves being admitted into a psych-ward: “Don’t be scared and don’t be scared of the other people there. They are like you, sometimes they will be much more unwell than you, but you can talk to them. Treat yourself with a lot of empathy. You haven’t hit rock bottom by coming here, it’s just a necessary step for you to take to get better. Be patient with yourself.”

PERSONAL STORIES Nicole Archer

OCD One of the scariest things is the sensation of not being in control of your thoughts. I always pictured it as an alien, beaming these terrible thoughts into me. Or a brain slug, sucking all the “Me” out of my brain, leaving nothing but depravity and evil. I thought of myself as Jekyll and Hyde. For so long, the Alien Brain Slug controlled me. At its worst, I planned my whole day around these thoughts, doing everything I can to not trigger them. I avoided driving, so as not to think about hitting pedestrians or driving into trucks. I counted the knives before I went to bed to make sure I didn’t take one to hurt my family in my sleep. I developed obsessive habits, checking the same things constantly. I bit my tongue, pinched myself and clenched my fists so hard they left nail marks in my palms so I couldn’t fulfil the depraved or violent urges that randomly popped into my head. What terrified me most is that these thoughts were completely alien to me. I am not a violent person. I can’t even bring myself to hurt a fly. I’d be a Buddhist if I didn’t have to give up chicken nuggets. I’m lucky enough to have never been suicidal. So to suddenly have all these horrible thoughts about hurting myself or the people around me was scary. This was obviously not in my nature, I thought. A cosmological force must be at play here. I didn’t trust myself, or my actions, or my memory. I felt like my own mind was turning against me, and everyday I fought a war against myself. I felt alone. One of the best pieces of advice I have received is to name your intrusive thoughts. Don’t see them as some ghostly figure, whispering evil into your ear, but as an annoying brat who won’t shut up. Name the witch, and it loses its power. Give these thoughts a ridiculous name, or name them after someone who’s opinion means less to you than Justin Bieber’s sleeping patterns. I named mine Jeremy Clarkson.

“hey, do you know what would be fun? JUMPING IN FRONT OF THAT TRAIN”

“Shut the fuck up, Jeremy Clarkson. Your show sucks!” More and more, I regained power over these thoughts. They seemed less like scary, psychopathic urges, and more like the problematic ramblings of a weird old man. And I don’t listen to weird old men. I roll my eyes and think about how they’ll be dead soon, along with their archaic beliefs. I was unsure whether to write about my intrusive thoughts. For so long, I never mentioned a word of it to anyone. I was scared they’d ship me off to an asylum, because I was convinced that I was absolutely crazy. People talk so much about depression and anxiety, and that’s fantastic. Everyone is touched by them in some way, and we really need open conversations about mental health. However, we don’t talk enough about other mental health issues. OCD is often reduced to little quirks, like colour-coordinating clothing pegs or being picky about pillows. Intrusive thoughts, which often falls under OCD, is hardly mentioned at all. I suffered too much, for far too long because there is so little awareness about this. I was told (by medical professionals, no less) that I couldn’t possibly have OCD, because I “wasn’t obsessed with germs”. I was often dismissed after disclosing my irrational fears, and bewilderedly asked why do I keep checking the stove/ iron/ counting the batteries?! So, dear readers, I say this: If there is anyone reading this and you have experienced the pesky Alien Brain Slug, you are not crazy. More importantly, you are not alone. You are strong, and these thoughts will not control you. When you feel these thoughts creeping in, look them right in the eye and say, “Shut the fuck up, Jeremy”

PERSONAL STORIES Annelise Decaria

MY DESCENT TO AND FROM DARKNESS Growing up and excitedly planning ahead for the future I had never imagined what my teenage years had install for me. Years of madness, chaos and a darkness I still have yet to quite shake off. After having the most perfect happy childhood I slowly began losing myself and all I was at the young age of 15. I myself was not even aware of what was happening. It began with retreat, self-isolation and a loss of joy in everything important to me. At first, my descent was slow and then suddenly all at once, I was submerged into a dark world with no life raft to rescue me. At this time, about to head into Year 11, my parents became aware of my new found depression, so as with everyone’s first line of action, off to a psychologist for the frightened girl to talk out problems she didn’t even knew she had. Now how simple it would have been if that was the end of my story. So much pain would have been avoided, not only for me, but also of those around me. But of course nothing is ever simple. So the therapy with a psychologist I never liked was of course not working so we moved onto a medication approach, which my mother was very much against and tried to tempt with a natural approach, which I could compare to the similar effects of eating grass. That then began my stint with psychoactive medications all while my mood was plummeting, my anxiety and panic attacks increased and the beginnings of an eating disorder loomed in the near future. With everything only getting worse, I was carted off to see my first psychiatrist: an old man who didn’t care what I said as I bared my soul to him, instead pumping me full of drugs with hallucinatory side effects was the norm. At this time my friends deserted me, my school notified my parents of my shameful self-harming and I was still plummeting into a dark hole with the rational solution of increasing medications that no longer allowed me to be me. Now I wont get into the specific details since it wont be helpful for either you or me. Although after a year of being severely unstable with a hurting mind and me hurting my body to cope, things started to look up. But don’t be fooled; this was not when I saw the light and was magically cured. I saw a new psychologist who actually cared, a boyfriend who listened and a new psychiatrist who wanted to help. New medications were implemented that suited my condition, which was not yet labelled, after horrible experiences getting off the previous ones.

I was obsessed with a label, obsessed with finding out my diagnosis thinking that it would cure me if I knew what was wrong with my mind. Depression, panic disorder, anxiety, social anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, BPD; I had it all but knowing so didn’t change anything. So I spiralled down again and reached my lowest weight so far and landed myself in a psychiatric inpatient clinic for eating disorders. I spent four weeks in what I called ‘prison’, enduring some of the hardest times in my life. But thinking back the things I learnt there from the people I met and the support they gave me in my most vulnerable state was crucial for my recovery. I wish I could say that facility was what had helped but I can’t, so I was discharged – weight restored and only resented my time there and those who put me in. I spent around a year in limbo, getting help with professionals, finding the right medications for me but still not quite happy with my problems and behaviours, as they are still active and dangerous. My mood was never quite there; I couldn’t shake the anxiety and as history would tell my weight dropped again. The gory details of screaming matches with my parents I will spare you but know this, having a mental illness was as much a strain on me as it was on my family and friends. I reached a point again where my condition became out of control and I took the difficult step of actually admitting and asking for help. Again I was placed in an inpatient treatment for my mood disorder with the only condition I was not to lose any more weight or back to the hell I was originally in. This one-month stay was the most positive jump for the good of my recovery. The people you meet in psychiatric wards are some of the most kind and supportive people you could ever meet. I was discharged with experiences shared, new strategies learnt with life long friends and a new positive out look on my life. I can’t say that my life is super amazing now and I’m all better. My struggles are still daily and that darkness is still hidden within me. I have now come to a new place with new people to meet where no one knows me as the ‘sick’ girl, well until now. I feel obliged to say now that it does get better, but it really is true. Of course everything hasn’t gone away, I’m still in therapy, taking medication for my condition and finally telling the truth about how I feel without being destructive to myself. As hard as it was to write this I believe that maybe someday that darkness will dissipate but for now I’m learning to live with it and moving on to a better life.

PERSONAL STORIES Zoe Simmons @ItBeginsWithZ

SMALL ACTS OF KIND NESS, SMALL ACTS OF BRA VERY I still believe there is kindness in this world. Even though we are engulfed with war, disease, suffering, death, hate and torture, I still believe there is hope. A few days ago, I somehow popped my tyre while driving. Don’t ask me how. I just heard a massive BANG and there it was. A flat tyre. Now, normally I would have called family friends to come and help me. The only problem was: I now lived three hours away from them. Oh, dear! I thought. How is it possible that I can write thousands upon thousands of words and analyse philosophical ideas, but I can’t change a damn tyre? 20

I was freaking out—and kicking myself for not learning to change a tyre sooner. That was when a random guy asked me if I was okay—and he helped me, with no thought of himself, not even accepting my offers of money as thanks. I was bewildered—and grateful. Similarly, a few years ago I was at a petrol station, and my cards declined—one of which was supposed to contain child support payments from my father. I tried $20 on each. Declined. $15. Declined. $10. Declined. Even $5—once again, declined. I was humiliated to the point of trying even $2, while counting up ten cent pieces from my wallet. And that was when a man stepped out from behind me and paid the rest of what I owed. “Don’t worry about it, mate,” he said. “We’ve all been there.” And then he left without another word. A tyre and some money; for them, it may not have meant much. But for me, it meant the world. Could it be that there are genuinely good people out there? People who are willing to help others with no thought of themselves? My mum once told me a story about how she saved a woman from a rather dire car crash accident. She crawled into the overturned car to pull the woman out of the wreckage. At any moment, the car could have burst into flames: but she did it anyway. I can’t say if I’ve saved a life—I’d like to hope someone else would have intervened if I hadn’t. Two years ago I was holidaying in Vanuatu at a place known as the Blue Lagoon—essentially, a very deep, very blue swimming hole. A mother was there, waiting to catch her two girls who were jumping off the wharf into the lagoon—only, it was much deeper than she anticipated. She began to struggle. She began to call for help—scream for help. I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew I had to do something. Grabbing the girl—who couldn’t have been older than five—I slowly made my way to where I could touch the ground, banking on the idea that I could hold my breath for longer than she could. The mother cried, thanking me. Did I save her? I don’t know. But I did something, and that’s my point. Something is all it takes, no matter how small, to change someone’s world. Small acts of kindness, small acts of bravery— that’s all it takes to change the world. So, what will you do? All it takes is one tiny step. Will you take it?

PERSONAL STORIES Elly Manoe

I WAS LOST ‘A bottomless pit of dejection and I am falling so very fast. I am crumbling, sliding into an endless, dark abyss. I can’t escape. With each word she speaks I am thrown down, deeper and deeper and...It has engulfed me, swallowed me whole. There is no escape.’ One in five australians experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. This ranges from anxiety to depression, eating disorders to addictions. I am not ashamed to say that I am a part of this statistic, I am not ashamed to say that I had a darker past. When I first pitched the idea of writing this article, I was given the option of doing it anonymously, one that I denied. My name is Ellena Manoe and I am a twenty year old Journalism student at the University of Wollongong. On the morning of January 7th, 2013, I awoke to find that my father had committed suicide. I don’t mean to be confronting, it’s just the easiest way to put it. Following my father’s death, I learnt that he had been attempting to confront a gambling addiction, one that was kept from me to preserve my innocence and safety. In the end, I suppose you could say it was too much for him. He saw no escape, and it ended. Shattered is the best and perhaps only word to describe how I felt. I was left without a father, my mother without a husband. And I was lost. This is where I am going to bring in my argument: nobody is immune to a mental illness. From a psychological standpoint, you could say that my father had a dual diagnosis-a combination of mental illnesses. One that encapsulated symptoms of addiction, that led to anxiety and depression, and eventually ended in suicide. It is a blackened memory that I wouldn’t even wish upon my worst enemy. The aftermath of his death though, is something that will forever live on. Something that I am confronted with everyday. There is no ‘text-book’ instruction on how to deal with the loss of a loved one, and there never will be. The memory of the weeks following his funeral still remain a blur. I had shut myself out, locked myself away in my room and refused to get help. I was offered support by all around me but I refused to talk to my friends, my family, even my mother. They were all coming from a good place, but they wouldn’t understand. How could they? At one stage my mother suggested that I had depression, which I quite easily ignored. I repelled at the thought of being weak or vulnerable, defending my reasons on my introvert qualities. In truth, I was just scared. The majority of people that have mental illnesses delay seeking help because they are frightened by the illness and fear stigma and discrimination by those around them.

I found that being ignorant and trying to ignore the problem didn’t make it go away, but only intensified the emotions I was so strongly trying to hide. The loss of my father started to affect the ways in which I communicated with people and only left me feeling more alone. Something had to change, deep down I knew that. I eventually started to see a therapist on a weekly basis. Initially, I was intimidated and terrified that a stranger would be listening to my story, every detail. It was inconceivable to think she would understand. I was wrong. We became best friends, a person I could openly talk to without fear of judgement or criticisms. She would say things that I myself thought of-questions that perplexed me, the ways in which it affected me. I knew that she understood and she was there to help. To this day, it remains to be the hardest thing I have ever done, it is the best thing that I had ever done. A friend studying biomedical science presented me with an interesting perspective:

‘The vessel of which you live within is the most incredible system of unparalleled beauty and complexity, the fact that you can just wake up with it still working is miraculous... if you are ever feeling down or a little cranky try to remember how blessed you are. Every thought, step, smile and laugh is all possible...everything is working out and I think that is pretty neat.’ He couldn’t be more correct, allow yourself to truly appreciate how amazing you are. My intention of writing this article was primarily to encourage those combatting mental health issues to seek help. I have never been diagnosed with a mental health issue, but there are many around me that have. For them, it’s is important to know that you are not alone, and that everyone will face challenges in life. On this I urge, don’t be another statistic. Big or small, allow yourself to be vulnerable and talk to someone-a friend, a family member or even a professional. It may be confronting, but take my example-I was once scared of talking to a stranger and now I am publishing my experience and moving forward. I miss my dad every single day and that pain will never go away, but I have learnt ways in which to overcome that loss. Mental illness is not a life sentence. 21

F E AT U R E S

FEATURE

SILENCE AGAINST VIOLENCE

“She hit me, tortured me. Whatever she got her hands on made a good weapon for her to attack me with. She didn’t care. She’d do it in the car, at home but never where someone could see her acting as anything other than the perfect wife. I hated her but anytime I tried to talk to mates about it, they’d laugh and say what’s wrong mate? Can’t get your misses under control? That made it worse. I wanted to die. I felt useless, worthless and like my life was spiraling out of my control. If I hadn’t come across the counseling service, I would’ve killed myself. I was literally walking to Bunning’s to buy rope when I seen a flyer outside at the BBQs they do. It gave me hope that it wasn’t just me” - James*, 26 “Words mate. They can do alotta damage you know? She made me believe I was an overweight piece of crap. Yeah, I had put a few kilos on but I had a stable job, a paid off house and nice car and two kids. I thought we had everything but it wasn’t good enough for her. She made me think I wasn’t good enough. She’d say stuff like she could get better than me you know? And that really killed me, that she’d say, you know, that she was only with me coz’ of what I could offer her, not coz she loved me. That the love had disappeared but I was the best one to care for the kids. I started working out and working longer hours to give her more money too, buy what she wanted and to look better for her but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t a six pack she wanted, it was just a tool to make me hate myself because she didn’t like herself. I know that now, with help but I didn’t then” - Matt*, 33 Stories like Matt and James’s aren’t uncommon. In fact one in three men experience domestic violence in Australia. This is a serious issue and should be addressed equally alongside violence against women. So why isn’t it? There is a wealth of information surrounding domestic violence against women and the dire impacts it can have. It would appear to male victims that society cares more about protecting women than it does men from abuse – and to an extent it does. The amount of websites, Facebook pages and campaigns dedicated to the female cause outnumber the male three to one. But why?

Jessica Allen @Jessicalynnora9

Why is society more concerned with violence against women than men? According to the One in Three campaign, since 2008 there has been a 41% increase in domestic violence cases in men compared to only a 9% rise in women. The truth is that men are almost always statistically proven to have perpetrated the violence against women. However, domestic abuse against men is not as easily compared once you bring in psychological abuse from parents and spouses whether heterosexual or homosexual. Consistent psychological damage combined with physical harm can have dire effects on a victim’s mental health. Men can be made to feel worthless and ashamed which further contributes to the breakdown of their mental health; they are also less likely to report incidents. While females are the largest ratio of domestic abuse, men hold a larger ratio of suicides, accounting for three of every five suicides in Australia, over half of which are linked to domestic abuse. “I thought everyone would laugh in my face. It took me 5 years to report what she was doing. I thought, nah I’m a bloke, I should be tough enough to handle this when some poor miss is dealing with a man hurting her. I used to say to myself that women don’t beat men up, you should be able to deal. Wake up to yourself. They’ll tell you to go away coz’ they’ve got bigger issues than a sissy”. How do we help these victims feel comfortable in seeking the help they need? Moo Baulch, CEO of domestic violence NSW, believes that education on the issue will help to decrease these statistics. “We all need to get better at talking about all violence, abuse, homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism and lateral violence; they are inter-connected. Bullying, violence and discrimination don’t happen in a vacuum. My feeling is that it’s a difficult conversation that we don’t have simple answers to which is why we avoid talking about violence. We need to teach kids in schools about DV and healthy relationships. We need strong community leaders to condemn violence”. *Real names have been changed at the request of the victims.

If you are experiencing any distress as a result of domestic violence, please seek help. There are many outlets dedicated to helping both men and women live in a safe environment. Mensline Australia - For instant, confidential, professional, male-friendly counseling, call 1300 789 978 24/7, www.menslineaus.org.au. Dads in Distress Call 1300 853 437 l Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

FEATURE Jamie Reynolds @reyn0lds_559 Resources for depression an d anxiety: http://www.be yondblue.org .au/ http://www.an xietycoach.com / http://www.an xieties.com/ http://www.he adspace.org. au/ https://www.lif eline.org.au/ (13 11 14)

Too often we see people we care about slowly fade into the background - until we start to forget the last time we saw, spoke or even thought about them. There might not have been any obvious reasons as to why they stopped coming to school, started calling in sick more often or stopped returning your messages, so it is frequently assumed that they have stopped trying, stopped making an effort to be your friend, your partner, your loved one. There is - and always has been - an ever-present ‘lazy’ stigma surrounding mental illnesses, and the behavior of those suffering from it who depart into a state of withdrawal. Although this is not a choice, it is commonly treated as such and further perpetuates the idea that being awake is the same as being able – It’s not. It is easy to think that somebody who stays at home is lazy, that they have no stress or concern in their life, because they appear not to be participating; but just because they are not attending lectures or work it doesn’t mean they’re throwing parties either. Sometimes just having the strength to get out of bed or prepare a meal can be exhausting, let alone stepping out of your front door and taking on the rest of the world – when you are already battling with yourself every day. There does not have to be a logical reason, and in a lot of situations, there isn’t. Mental illnesses are often not logical at all. Some days nothing is possible and others, everything is - and either way, that’s okay.

THE LAZY MIS CON CEPTION OF BEING LOST

Depression can make moving, or getting up from a certain spot difficult sometimes, anxiety can make staying or going just as difficult - imagine having both. Picture a world where everything around you is terrifying, where holding a job is impossible because it means being surrounded by people, noises and situations that are out of your control. Where everybody is looking at you, disappointed in you, talking about you, laughing at you, where you can’t keep still because you are freaking out about everything bad that could ever happen, but it is difficult to move because you just don’t have the energy. Scared yet? I am. For the past year and a half, I have been terrified to leave my own home, because I have no idea what can happen outside of my comfortable four walls, and most of the time, I don’t want to. Living in fear can be incapacitating: it affects your relationships, your career, your education and your self-esteem (among other things). Misconceptions can cause an already debilitating illness to become almost unbearable and spoken disapproval will not change anything, but understanding and support can. If you know somebody who is silently battling an invisible illness, be patient, be accepting, be encouraging, but most importantly, be there.

FEATURE Teisha Cloos

HELP! I’M ADDICTED TO SPORT Its not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle. These were the very first words that I was told when I wanted to start surfing. And before long I realised how very real those seven words became. Surfing had become my obsession…

for hope. I ask god that he looks after my buddies on the field, and that we all turn out fine. It’s just hope.” I spoke to a few other Rugby boys and here’s what they had to say about their rituals:

In every athlete’s life, at one point or another, our hobbies become our obsessions; our lifestyles. It can differ from training rituals to post-match and pre-match rituals.

“I need to go the toilet … I do number 3”

Rafael Nadal, world ranked No.5 tennis player always follows a self-imposed tradition when it comes to how he plays the game. This Español hottie takes the cake in having 19 rituals before and during every match. Some include:

“Left boot before right boot and washing my hands”

Walking on court with one racket in hand , never stepping on the court lines when necessary The famous picking a ‘wedgie’ out before every serve And of course his water bottle ritual which Nadal explains – “I put the two bottles down at my feet, in front of my chair to the left, one neatly behind the other, diagonally aimed at the court.” Nadal isn’t the only big name athlete affected by rituals. David Beckham needs his soft drink cans in pairs and Michael Jordan wore his old university basketball shorts under his game shorts for every game he played. This sporting obsession isn’t just with famous athletes, as, many athletes are experiencing it right here at UOW. Harry Alfred Pitt at 6ft 120kg, Fijian and Torres Strait Islander Rugby Union Front rower, explains why Rugby has become a second nature to him. “It gives me something to hit. I grew up in a house with no fighting… so I kept on playing footy… it becomes a second nature, it’s a release. It was fun and turned into something that needs to be there. Pre-game hand clapping and clicking … I do a prayer and then BAM… I am ready for the game. I like to pray

– Collin Tighe

- Michael Talbert “I tie up boots six times- take it off and put it on” – David Bell “I find and wear the comfiest underwear” – David Bell When it comes down to it, there is definitely a difference between a sporting hobby and a sporting lifestyle. “Football is a lifestyle; I don’t want to jump out of it, its something I want to do continually. With a hobby you can give up and change but football…its basically my ritual.”- Harry Pitt Obsessions may not always be understood and may be associated with mental illness. Your obsessions can take over your life, just like sport, everyday you wake up and that’s the only thing on your mind. There is always a drive to be the best and improve. To add to this, the use of the term OCD was problematic as it took away from the suffering of those diagnosed with the disease and trivialised their very real struggle.

FEATURE Nicole Langridge

HAPPI NESS AND SOCIAL CONNECTIONS ‘But why can’t you just … be happier?’ It can be a difficult thing to get your head around; that some people just aren’t as happy as others. The experience of happiness is something that is completely individual. What works for one person may not carry the same emotional weight for another. Here’s something to ask yourself: do you know what makes you happy? Happiness can emerge from so many things – big or small. Now you might be a little sceptical at what I’m about to say, but maybe those positive or negative events in your life don’t actually make you as happy or unhappy as you think. Take a look at your life and consider this. There are three important things that can determine our happiness. You know how some people are blessed with a ‘skinny disposition’ when it comes to weight; they don’t have to work very much to maintain it, when others have to work extraordinarily hard? Happiness can be a bit like this – we all have a set point. It’s like a baseline level of happiness we’re predisposed to through genetics. But don’t get too caught up on this! There’s more to our happiness than genetics! The next thing might be a little interesting to hear – it definitely was for me – but sometimes we often mistake life circumstance as a huge influence of our happiness. You know that amazing promotion you just got? Or that hot date you went on? It actually only boosts your happiness by a small amount – 10%. How crazy is that? While these things do bring us happiness, it’s usually only for a short time and then the high is over. By now, you might be wondering where this is all going. The third and most important thing that might help you improve your happiness is daily intentional activity. Every one of us has the ability to increase or decrease our happiness through what we do and how we think day-to-day. This is terrific news! It means we all have the potential for happiness inside of us. There are so many ways for us to unlock this potential – taking care of our body with exercise, positive thinking, or living in the present. But something that has shown to be undeniably beneficial to an improved state of mental health is the social connection 26

we have with friends, family and loved ones. Social support is a wonderful thing. It can be one of the most essential parts of a bond with another in times of stress and trauma. Human beings have a powerful motivation to seek out and maintain strong, positive relationships – it’s fundamental to what makes us human. Gratitude can be an invaluable source for strengthening your relationships. What’s great about it is, no matter how well established the connection is – friends, acquaintances, complete strangers – expressing gratitude goes a long way. It can be as simple as a thank you for doing the dishes! Studies have shown that an important part of gratitude is the perceived responsiveness of the recipient. There’s nothing better than thanking someone and seeing their reaction. It can help improve your own self-esteem and worth. Try expressing a little gratitude in your life every day; it doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture to have a big effect! But sometimes when you’re feeling down and it’s a struggle to get through the day, all you need is a hug. Frequent hugging can be a great way to increase happiness, relieve stress and provide that closeness you need with someone. If hugging is your cup of tea, then you’ll be happy to know that science has your back! Social touch for emotional support, intimacy or tenderness has been proved to have profound psychological effects on humans. It bears the capacity for very personal interaction and can even help establish a significant connection with another. This type of interaction can be beneficial for both parties involved. Studies have shown that people display increased self-disclosure, and positive gratitude for those who initiated the touch. Here’s something you might want to try out for yourself! Try and incorporate a minimum of five hugs per day over a week or two and see what effect this has. They can be with anyone – family members, a significant other, or even your teammates after a match! It’s never easy coping with mental health issues. Daily improvement is going to need time and effort. One of the best things you can do is surround yourself with loving, supportive people. And just remember: you are in control of how you behave and think, what goals you set for yourself and therefore, your potential for happiness and improved mental health.

FEATURE Marie-Claire Demers

OF FLOWERS, SEX AND BRINGING THE 60S B A C K AT UOW As a PhD student at UOW I have been, for the past few years, teaching practical classes to biology students to earn extra money. Teaching is something I truly enjoy doing. Whilst I was preparing for my class on the life cycle of plants, I had an incredible realisation. A bit of background The life cycle of plants is something most people know about and involves a flower being pollinated, pollen engaging in fertilisation and the production of seeds and the resulting creation of a new plant. It all sounds very boring to most people. There is nothing erotic or offensive there. The sex talk In my quest to be a great demonstrator, I was thinking of ways of explaining the difference between pollination and fertilisation. I thought this was a great way to get to the point: ‘Pollination and fertilisation are 2 very different things. One is the equivalent of the act of copulation and the other is the actual fertilisation of the egg. You might not have impregnation every time you have sex with a partner. It is the same for plants.’ My colleague gave me a judgmental look and started laughing. ‘You cannot say this in class, can you imagine the trouble you could get into’. I did not think that comment was offensive in any way. Why would it? These are true facts of nature. Why is it politically correct to tell my student about plant and animal reproduction, but not about human sexual intercourse? What is the difference between plant erotica and ours?

Flower as a sex symbol Flowers are regarded as a beautiful thing that you give to someone when you have feelings for them. Their fragrance makes you happy in springtime. Some even taste good. But when we stare, smell and taste flowers we are actually staring, smelling and tasting sexual organs. Yes, both male and female sexes beautifully wrapped in scented petals. We do not see flowers as offensive. We do not objectify them, on the contrary, we glorify them. We embrace their diversity; big, small, purple, red and green. We love them and we all have our favourites. Why can’t human sexual organs be treated with the same respect? No, as humans, we do not put our flowers on a pedestal, far from it. We make sure our reproductive organs never see the light of day. Most people feel self-conscious about them. We don’t call them by their appropriate names and the names we do give them are used as insults in a different context. The sex talk Sexuality is taboo, something we don’t talk about, something that is not accepted in our society. Why should we feel good about our sexuality when we are taught from a young age that it is a ‘bag’ thing. Maybe if we would see our sexy bits as attractive as that of plants we could accept them in our society and give them the place they deserve. Imagine what it would be like; having a photo as our computer background or a frame on our wall. Maybe even stare at one whilst having breakfast in the morning. Complement each other on how nice our gardens look. Why not construct a herbarium where global diversity can be exposed and appreciated by all. We might be from another phyla but it is time to act a little more like plants. Open up your petals, get rid of all the layers of prejudice and preconception and show the world your true colours. 27

FEATURE

LOVE IS NOT AN EXC USE FOR ABUSE

The face of abuse victims is one that you probably recognise. The awareness campaigns show them cut, bruised and swollen, their eyes staring out from our computer screens with accusatory glares. These women and men deserve protection and justice, but abuse doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always take the form of flying fists. I was seventeen when I fell in love and began my first serious relationship, and for the first six months or so, he was the perfect boyfriend. But over the following months, I deteriorated into a shell of who I had been. Before I met that man, I had no idea that emotional abuse or emotional manipulation even existed, or how subtle and heart breaking it would be. The people who use emotional abuse as a tool to manipulate others fall into the same patterns as physical abusers. In particular, they convince their victims that everything is their fault. I spent a long time hating myself and genuinely believing that I was a horrible person because of the following sequence. - He did something that disregarded my feelings. - I attempted to calmly confront him. - He explained to me in no uncertain terms that I had caused him to hate himself, and I was just like everyone else who made him feel worthless. - I felt ashamed and dissolved into wretched sobbing. - He forgave me. If you looked at only the first and last instances, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d think I was crazy and incredibly weak, but he did it constantly and I fell for it every time. He ensured that he was never responsible for any wrongdoing and always had power over me, which is why I spent so long being controlled by him. When we were together (and for a long time afterwards), he would stop me from leaving by making me feel ashamed for not trying hard enough to keep the relationship together. Essentially, he tried to convince me that protecting my mental health was a selfish thing to do.

FEATURE Adara Enthaler

One of the most unforgiveable things he did – more than once – was call me and tell me that he was going to kill himself over something I had accidentally done to upset him (this is a HUGE red flag by the way). I would spend a long time on the phone trying to talk him down, sobbing in public, until he would concede to wait until I came over. Of course when I got there, he was all smiles and cuddles, seemingly having forgotten about earlier, and I would be so relieved he was no longer angry with me that I wouldn’t bring it up. And the cycle continued. Men like this will tell you they need you. He is broken from all the cruelties of the world, but at last he has met you, and you make everything better. You are the perfect, shining angel in a long line of cheating whores, and they don’t know what they would do without you. This starts off sounding lovely, but eventually it becomes a ball and chain that makes you stay long after you should have left. Around the time of the third false breakup, you need to realise that it is not you who is causing the breakdown, and you need to start putting your own mental health above theirs. Block their number and their Facebook account, and do not let them back inside your head.

You may think this has been embarrassing for me to admit, but I don’t mind sharing my story, because after three years I have finally reached a point where I legitimately do not care about that man anymore. I refuse to feel any compassion or guilt for the man-child who almost ruined my life, and the freedom that comes with that refusal is amazing. I am writing this article because I want to help others avoid or leave toxic relationships. If you are reading my story and finding similarities in your own life, you may need to revaluate. List the pros against the cons, look very hard at what this person has done to you, and make the hard decision that will best serve your happiness. I cannot stress this enough: make sure you put your mental health before other people. In cases like this, they do not deserve your love and energy, and you cannot help others when you’re drowning in depression and anxiety yourself. Everyone deserves love and happiness, but you cannot manipulate others into giving you theirs. Love is not an excuse for abuse. Please take care of yourself, love yourself, and don’t allow others to drain you.

Some of the best advice I can give you – as lame as it sounds – is to tell your parents. A lot of us will put up with crap we don’t deserve, especially if we don’t have much experience in relationships. But to our family and close friends, we deserve nothing less than absolute happiness, and they will not let us pretend otherwise. If you’re not happy and you feel trapped, tell your loved ones who actually care about you. However, it is important for me to say that emotional abuse is not exclusive to men, or even to romantic relationships: it can come from friends and family members as well. My own mother has used emotional abuse in the past to fatshame me, but I know she means best, so I ignore it because she’s my mother. In saying that, forgiveness is not always the best way to deal with emotional abuse, and it’s not something anyone should put up with on a regular basis. 29

FEATURE Amy Fairall @AmyEloiseF

Pica:

AS M E N TA L AS...

As our society slowly becomes more understanding and accepting of mental health issues, there is still a plethora of issues that are so rare that they are unknown by the majority of society. Many of these issues are also considered so out of the ordinary that it is sometimes difficult to believe that they actually exist. Here’s just a few:

Body Integrity Identity Disorder:

Pica is a mental disorder that causes people to have a strong appetite for eating a substance of no nutritional value. These are often substances found around the home, such as soap, clay, rocks, paper and glass. For the person to be diagnosed with pica, they must be regularly consuming the substance for over a month at an age that it is developmentally unusual. Pica is more common in women and children and in people from low socioeconomic backgrounds. This addiction, depending on what the person has an appetite for, can be severely damaging to the intestines and can cause poisoning and nutrition deficiency. This mental issue is often seen on television shows such as My Strange Addiction.

BIID is a mental disorder that elicits in the patient a strong desire to become an amputee. Patients are not comfortable with a certain part of their body and believe their discomfort would be relieved if they were to remove it. Patients may be jealous of amputees and may even pretend that they are amputees themselves before attempting to become one. Other disorders that are often associated with BIID are apotemnophilia, a sexual attraction towards becoming an amputee and acrotomophilia, a sexual attraction towards those who are amputees. These disorders are usually experienced together.

Aboulomania:

Synaesthesia is a mental disorder that causes a person to involuntarily associate an unstimulated sensory pathway when another is activated. Examples that are most common include associating numbers, days of the week and even people with a certain colour or even certain smells. However there are many different forms of synaethesia. Auditory tactile synaethesia occurs when a certain sound can elicit a sensation in a specific part of a patient’s body. Lexical-gustatory synaethesia causes the patient to experience a taste at the sound of a specific word. One case saw the patient taste pear drops whenever he heard the name Anne Boleyn.

Aboulomania is a mental issue that prevents people from being able to make a decision. It affects the routine of people’s everyday life as they struggle to decide even the smallest things, such as whether or not to go for a walk or what to eat. Every decision is over analysed and thus causes stress and anxiety, but can also be caused by these issues as well. The patient often does not believe in their ability to make a reasonable decision and heavily relies on other people to support or decide for them. Aboulomania can often be caused during developmental years, if the patient experienced overprotection and intrusiveness from their primary care givers, leaving them more susceptible to dependency on others. Cotard Delusion/Syndrome: Cotard Delusion is a mental illness in which the patient believes that they are either dying, dead or simply do not exist. Patients have reported a belief that their organs are decomposing or simply missing and often die of starvation as they do not believe they need to eat. Some cases have reported that patients have asked to be placed in a coffin and wanting to go to a morgue or cemetery to be with the dead people. The syndrome is often associated with depression and bipolar, however, many patients have developed the symptoms after suffering a stroke or head injuries. There have been many cases in which electro-convulsive therapy has helped cure the syndrome. Erotomania: Erotomania is a delusion that someone, often a stranger and a person of high profile, is in love with you. This delusion often occurs in conjunction with schizophrenia and bipolar. The patient often believes that the supposed admirer is sending them secret messages by the way of glances, telepathy and signals through the media. The patient will then often reciprocate this love by sending love letters, making phone calls and visiting the supposed admirer’s house. Even when the love and admiration is denied, the patient insists that the supposed admirer is just trying to hide their love from the world.

Synaesthesia:

Prosopagnosia: Prosopagnosia, also know as face blindness, is a not so much a mental disorder as an underdevelopment of the brain. It causes the patient an inability to recognise and register familiar faces, even those of close family and friends. The disorder forces patients to recognise someone from other features, such as hair etc. It has been likened to trying to recognise someone you know from their hands alone. Prosopagnosia can also be caused when a patient suffers brain damage. The disorder can be determined from a young age, as babies begin to follow faces more prominently than other objects from within an hour of being born. The disorder can cause social anxiety among patients. Similar conditions exist in which patients are unable to identify familiar surroundings, familiar objects just from touch and even their own body parts. These conditions all fall under agnosia, an inability to register sensory information. Exploding Head Syndrome: Exploding head syndrome is a type of auditory hallucination in which patients experience the sound of loud noises inside their head. These noises could differ from the clash of cymbals, the rumble of an earthquake or the exploding of a bomb. The noise commonly occurs when the patient is about to fall asleep, but is not apart of a dream. Patients may only experience an episode once in their life, or up to several times a week. An episode can last anywhere between a few seconds and a few minutes, and patients are often stunned, afraid and have an elevated heart rate afterwards. However, patients have never associated the noise with physical pain. Additional symptoms vary between patients and the cause is not known.

Photography by Kayla Reay

PULL ME OUT I M YOUR S

FEATURE Sammie Johnson

LIVING W I T H M E N TA L I L L N E S S - T H AT ISN’T YOURS My stepfather died on Valentine’s Day 2014, after what I can only describe, now that I know the full story, as probably the world’s longest suicide attempt. Crass as that may sound, keep with me here. He had depression. Bad. We lived on a cattle farm and a few years ago the cattle industry went pretty much completely to shit. We went from running a farm with 600 head of cattle to agisting around 19. Apparently the stress got to him. Two million dollars of debt will do that to a person. The steady decline of finances was a major contributor to his depression, among other things. And with the decline in business, he declined too. When he and my mum got together he was great. He was fun and loving and kind. He took us on my first holiday, my first trip on a plane. He loved my mum. She was happier than she had been when she was married to my dad, and I was a seven year old child, my mum happy and an abundance of fun made my life go round. Everything was great. Then around the time I became a teenager, was when it all started going downhill. Money became more of an issue, he was cross sometimes, but we were happy. We were a lucky family. As time went on he got angrier, he would drink too much sometimes, not so much he would be drunk, but too much. He would yell, a lot. Because this happened so quickly, angsty teenage me could barely remember the good times. He was yelling and angry, I was confused and pubescent. Bad mix really.

immediately, and so we were told that if he got some feeling back his limbs he could be walking again in about six months. He never walked again. This “accident” that my mother later told me was more than likely yet another suicide attempt, was witnessed by my then seven year old brother. His suicide attempt took thirteen agonising months to kill him. During this time he had countless surgeries, got sicker and sicker, lived in pain, and developed a particularly terrifying case of schizophrenia, where he would believe rats were trying to eat him alive and people were coming and trying to kill him. The hospitals and nursing homes, being ill equipped to deal with his level of care, often left him neglected and afraid. It was a hell you would not wish on anyone. It wasn’t until we knew he was never coming home the same man that my mother told me he had depression. Apparently he’d had it for years, and that was why he yelled all the time. Why he was so angry, why he turned on us seemingly overnight. He barely knew what was wrong with himself. Basically his world was falling apart and he coped by releasing his anger on us. I didn’t know he was depressed, I assumed he was just an asshole to be honest. And he was, you cannot sugarcoat that one true fact, sometimes depressed people can be assholes, and it isn’t their fault, but they can indeed be assholes. Finding out why he had changed so drastically as a person changed a lot for me. I finally was able to piece together how our lives had begun to fall apart, why it all started going wrong and why I had spent so much time feeling very lost. I began to try and forgive him, for making my teenage years so fraught with terror and anxiety, because it’s simply easier to excuse somebody’s behaviour when you know why they did it. And it seems unethical to hold a grudge on a dying person. Knowing what I know now makes it a lot easier to understand. There are things I know that I can never forgive, and some that I can. But now I have control, and I am rid of a mental illness that never should have been mine to suffer from to begin with. I am free.

In early January 2013 he had a “farm accident,” where he accidentally accelerated a motorbike he was wheeling through a fence and was thrown forward, hitting his face on a fence post and fucking up his C4 vertebrate. In layman terms, he was a quadriplegic. He was airlifted via helicopter to a hospital in Sydney and placed in ICU, we were told he might die, he didn’t

FEATURE Sammie Johnson

If you, u know, or someone yo help please te ia ed m im needs 000 y Services on call Emergenc call or e) on ph obile ld (112 from a m ou w u 11 14. If yo Lifeline on 13 care lth ea H l ta en aM like to set up to plan are initiative) Plan (a Medic ups see kec ch l ta en for regular m l visit your loca your doctor or . re Medical Cent

When we think of the word ‘health’, we most probably conjure up ideas of physical health: of a good diet, exercise or sometimes a sickness or injury. Why don’t we think of mental health? Does this simple experiment show our bias towards our bodies over our minds? This is a question which many experts in the field of mental health are asking in current debates about how to change the conceptualisation of mental wellness. Psychologists such as Dr Guy Winch want to move towards a more positive public understanding of the importance of taking our mental health seriously. Outlining a new way to see mental health, he suggests that emotional pain such as guilt, loss and loneliness are valid common injuries, just like the common cold or a rash you might have discovered on your arm. ‘We have to cover a cut so it doesn’t become infected, and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day… how is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth than we spend taking care of our minds?” Maybe treating psychology like physiology could lead to a much more open culture where seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist* is like getting a check-up at the doctor every couple of months- it is something that is considered completely normal and encouraged. This attitude could extend to normalising the relationship we have with mental health professionals. Dr Ramani Durvasula suggests that it’s a good idea to shop around for a therapist, just the same as we do with a regular doctor, because often a personal connection leads to a better working relationship and greater chance of future success. Dr Durvasala also highlights a very important flaw in the timing that is associated with deciding to see a mental health professional, suggesting that we only seek help when things get really bad e.g. when a mental health disorder resulting from a

build-up of mental health ‘injuries’ creates an illness. From this perspective, mental ‘hygiene’ makes sense; we would be saving on the costs associated with severe mental issues by generally stopping the progression of mental illnesses in their tracks, possibly saving lives and the emotional pain that families must experience in these circumstances. All types of media have been shown to be effective in normalising conversations about mental health, and this ‘normalising’ effect is all we need to create a new inclusive, comfortable culture around mental health treatment. Initiatives like ABC’s Mental As and the Mental Health Association NSW’s ‘Mental Health Month’ events have reduced the negative stigma associated with talking about mental health. Organising events like these allow us to recognise that 1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental illness this year. Talking about it, whether on social media with hashtags and memes, or on television with Headspace’s Ruby Rose (MTV) and radio via spokespersons like Beyond Blue’s Em Rusciano and Tom Ballard (Triple J), can do us all some good. Other global, shareable media has contributed just as vitally to encouraging a more relaxed and open conversation about ‘mental hygiene’. YouTube channel Crash Course’s 40 video psychology series has helped the online community to come to terms with how mental disorders and illnesses work in an approachable and shareable way, while providing a forum for sharing of individual experiences in the online community. More personal and specific accounts of mental health issues in digital media have come from highly prominent figures like Anna Akana, Zoella, JacksGap, and Demi Lovato. This normalising effect is key, and it can have wide-ranging and life-changing effects on people.

FEATURE Gemma Jamison @gemmcraft

Local support services are also key stepping-stones towards normalising participation in mental health ‘hygiene’ routines. If you haven’t had a peek inside UOW’s Wellbeing space or accessed any of their services, then you’re missing out! UOW Wellbeing’s emphasis on meditation, stress-release, building good mental habits and providing connections to mental health experts combine to underline the importance of everyday management of our mental ‘wellness’ as a way to prevent the creation of lasting damage related to study and life-work balance. If you want to specifically see someone about a mental ‘injury’ or work out a plan that you can use to manage stress and other emotional concerns you may have at university, you can make an appointment with the on-campus counselling service at uow.edu.au. It is important to acknowledge that there will always be issues that are extremely hard to cope with, illnesses that are debilitating and very hard for mental health professionals to adequately address. But if going to see a psychologist about dark thoughts or something we struggle with day to day were as easy as going to see the doctor about a runny nose or committing to a juice cleanse to detox the body, then we may be able to stop the progression of minor mental injuries turning into serious illnesses. Let’s change the course of mental health in Australia for the better. *footnote Psychologist: a mental health professional who has studied psychology and completed a masters in psychology. A psychologist cannot prescribe medicine. Psychiatrist: a mental health professional with a medical degree (M.D.) and a further specialty in psychiatry. A psychiatrist can prescribe medicine because they have studied medicine. See depressionet.com.au for more info.

PRAC TISING M E N TA L HYGIENE: NORMAL ISING VISITS TO THE PSYCH OLOG IST 37

FEATURE

MAKING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS Google is where you find the answers to all your problems. In fact, if you type in ‘do i have depression’, the top result is a link to Beyond Blue with the signs and symptoms of depression. When searching up anxiety, Beyond Blue is there again with a link to a checklist for depression and anxiety. For those of you who don’t know, Beyond Blue is an amazing organisation dedicated to, as stated on their site, ‘raising awareness and understanding, empowering people to seek help, and supporting recovery, management and resilience.’ Now, you may be asking: what does depression and anxiety mean? When I typed the words ‘define: anxiety’ it came up with more than 163000000 results. The top result was the definition: Anxiety (n): ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome’. Synonyms include: worry, concern, unease, tension,fear. Symptoms include: Cold/sweaty hands or feet Shortness of breath Feelings of unease, panic or fear Increased heartrate Dry mouth Inability to stay calm or still When I typed in ‘define: depression’, 228000000 results appeared, with our definition, again, at the top: Depression (n): ‘feelings of severe despondency and dejection.’ Synonyms: melancholy, misery, sadness, sorrow, gloom.

Symptoms include: Feeling hopeless and worthless Unable to sleep or sleeping too much Weight gain/loss Loss of energy Loss of interest in what you used to enjoy doing Self-loathing Thoughts of suicide or self-harm Each of these mental illnesses are becoming better known as mental health grows into worldwide awareness, thanks to organisations such as Beyond Blue, Headspace and the development of the Mental Health Commission. Prior to the 21st century, mental illness was not treated as seriously and as appropriately as it is today. Paraphrasing my boyfriend’s mum, you were only considered mentally unwell if you were sent to an insane asylum. Think American Horror Story: Asylum: that’s a pretty accurate depiction on how mental illness was treated. We have come a long way since then – there is still work that needs to be done, but it’s a massive improvement. So how does it feel to be diagnosed and experience these disorders? They are different, but are closer linked than people may believe. My own therapist once told me that when you are diagnosed with either depression or anxiety, you generally develop the other because ‘they go hand in hand’. In an interview with Nicole Langridge, she opens up on how she has dealt with these two disorders and how it has impacted her everyday life.

FEATURE Sofia Casanova @miss_munchkin

So how does it feel to be diagnosed and experience these disorders? They are different, but are closer linked than people may believe. My own therapist once told me that when you are diagnosed with either depression or anxiety, you generally develop the other because ‘they go hand in hand’. In an interview with Nicole Langridge, she opens up on how she has dealt with these two disorders and how it has impacted her everyday life. How does having both issues affect the way you approach life? ‘[They have] definitely changed how I live my life day to day. I fear that my anxiety controls my life too much, it stops me from grabbing opportunities or doing things I want to from fear that I will become overwhelmed. When I go through a period of depression, I lose motivation to do anything and getting nothing does in turn makes me for anxious. It’s a vicious cycle.’ But it’s not always hard. With therapy and a good support system, coping with these disorders becomes easier, just like any other illness. Some days, the dark thoughts fade away and your head feels empty – you feel free. Nicole is living proof of that. ‘Over the last year, I’ve started to change my approach to dealing with it. I tell myself that if I’m going to have these things in my life then I’m going to use them, rather than have them use me. I’m quite passionate about youth mental health and it’s something that I enjoy exploring in my writing and art. It’s great therapy.’ Now let’s get physical. How does it physically feel to have both?

There’s a Tumblr post that popped onto my dashboard describing the two disorders perfectly: ‘Having both is staying in bed because you don’t want to go to school and then panicking because you don’t want to fail. Having both is wanting to go see your friends so you don’t lose them all, then staying home in bed because you don’t want to make the effort.’ Learning coping techniques through therapy or online resources are ‘invaluable’ for your future, according to Nicole, ‘Deep breathing has wonderful benefits and is a relaxing and easy way to calm down. Sometimes it just takes acknowledging what’s happening and taking the time to help yourself rather than trying to push through it.’ To all those suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental illness, you are no less human than anyone else. Nicole perfectly summarises what it is we should be aiming for: ‘It’s not about curing myself, it’s about learning to cope with it and get myself through life one day at a time.’ If you believe you may have one or both of these illnesses, please contact your doctor immediately, visit http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or call 1300 22 4636. You are worthy of life.

‘I’ve only recently started to experience the physical effects of my disorders and it’s definitely scary. Somehow it makes it more real when it stops being inside my head and affects the rest of my body with panic attacks, hyperventilating and heart palpitations. It’s scary having something control you like that. You feel helpless. Having both is not easy, particularly when they contradict each other.

FEATURE Sammi Conn

W H AT 40K G AV E ME Visiting the 40K plus pods was another great experience. It was so interesting seeing how these children learn by interacting with each other and teaching each other. The children, as you can imagine, enjoyed having us there just as much as we enjoyed being there. One of the major highlights of the program for me was when we offered an Indian woman employment with 40K for 4 months to work on Khushi. It is so fulfilling knowing that you are part of an organisation providing life changing help to people that need it. I can safely say that what started out as an exciting way to knock off a Uni subject has been the best experience of my life to date. I was a member of the Khushi team, the team responsible for making those ‘out there’, crazy pants and the cool men’s shorts. We had an awesome team and we were all so different to one another yet we couldn’t have gotten along more perfectly together, which is lucky seeing we were surrounded by each other 24/7! I never had a problem doing any of the jobs involved with working on Khushi, even tasks such as making patterns for the pants and shorts which was quite challenging and became very tedious for someone like me, as I had never stitched a day in my life. Some of my favourite tasks were visiting our women tailors because they were always so excited to see us which was really nice, or the trips into Bangalore via rickshaw to go fabric shopping were another favourite but only so long as it ended with a Frankie’s Kebab!

40K teaches people, and taught me, to do business in a country where it’s seriously almost impossible. Every day you wake up not knowing what challenges may confront you that day, and that’s super exciting. A real positive of the program is how much independence we as Glober’s are given. Team leaders don’t make all the decisions, it is left up to the team to decide on everything together. You aren’t being told what to do but you are responsible for determining what needs to be done and how it will be done which is part of what makes the experience so rewarding. On top of all this, not only have I created some of my best memories, I have also made some lifelong friendships, and it can’t really get any better than that!

FEATURE Jamie Reynolds @reyn0lds_559

TA K I N G A D E E P B R E AT H : HOW TO HELP YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE FEELING ANXIOUS

Sometimes the best care you can receive is from yourself. You might be having a shitty day and nothing is going right, you could be feeling extra anxious or stressed from the pressures of everyday life - or there may even be no reason at all. However, there are a vast number of ways to help you cope and calm down, you just have to choose what works for you. Here are some handy survival tools I’ve used in the past, and still do: 01 In absolutely anyway that you can. I found that Distract the easiest way to get my mind off my feelings Yourself of nervousness or anxiety was to immerse myself in a world outside of my own – whether that be to start a new TV series, book or video game, it gives you a much needed excuse to step away from the real world for a while. If your mind is busy focusing on something different, it helps to forget why you were feeling down in the first place. 02 Allow yourself to feel (and don’t feel guilty about it!)

There is nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you feel a little lonely, everybody experiences feelings of isolation sometimes and that’s perfectly okay. Feeling alone or sad doesn’t mean that you are an outcast or that anything is wrong with you, in reality, it means you’re human. Suppressing how we feel isn’t healthy, don’t be afraid to own your emotions – it’ll make challenging and working through them much easier.

03 Control Your Breathing

One of the first symptoms of anxiety is an increased breathing rate, and although it may be a perfectly normal response it can be the direct cause of further physical symptoms that create complications. Breathing fast leads to dizziness, an increased heart rate and also the feeling of asphyxiation, getting ahold of this early can help prevent or manage these and there are a number of breathing techniques you can use to guide you. Try gently exhaling through your mouth, while at the same time relaxing your shoulders. Hold your exhale for 3 seconds and inhale slowly through your nose, holding your breathe as long as feels comfortable, and then repeat from the first step. The most important thing to remember is to breathe slowly, no matter how much it may feel like you’re not receiving oxygen - you are, shallow breathing only prevents you from exhaling the oxygen you’re taking in.

04 The most terrifying (and helpful) three words Face Your you’re likely to hear when feeling anxious. Fears Even though the thought of going anywhere or talking to anybody might seem petrifying, acknowledging that it’s just your anxiety talking, and that by giving into it you’re prolonging the problem is really the best thing you can do. The more you avoid something the worse it becomes! Try starting small by making plans with a friend somewhere quiet and comfortable, and slowly progressing into larger and more social situations. Set yourself a goal, and reach it. 41

FEATURE Jessica Perkins

S TAY S A N E O N EXCHANGE For an exchange student, travelling overseas to study is bound to be a memorable experience. A unique chance to both learn and explore a place where everything is new and opportunities are endless. Like all experiences, there will inevitably be ups and downs, but keeping a healthy mind and wellbeing when on exchange is the key to having the best time possible. Here are some tips to stay sane when on exchange:

Make sure you keep active – buy a gym pass, join a team sport, or run outside. Getting adequate exercise is sure to help your wellbeing. Don’t let your diet deteriorate – especially if you have meal plan. Cafeteria food usually has both healthy and unhealthy options. Enjoy yourself but don’t choose the deep fried option every day.

Set out your priorities – we’re all different and strive for different things, figure out what you want to take home from exchange on the grander scale, and strive for it.

Get extra coins so you can do laundry whenever you want – smelly clothes are not good for anyone’s wellbeing.

Keep in contact with home – There is nothing like a talk with ma and pa to give you a warm fuzzy feeling when you’re half a world away.

Get out of your comfort zone – skydive, try the local grub, or talk to strangers. Do something you never thought you’d do back at home.

Soak in your surroundings – it’s a different culture, different country, and different pace than back home so take it

Keep a journal – Who wants to look back and not remember their exchange?

Volunteer – giving back to the community is an unselfish and useful way to spend your time. It’ll enrich your experience and connect you to the community.

Let yourself have fun – don’t let a early morning wakeup keep you from going out one night.

FEATURE Kevein Suarez

LAUGH YOUR W AY T O SUCCESS A rough patch can be a hard place to get out of, especially when it feels like there’s a bunch of people who take delight in making you miserable. But one thing you should never forget is there is a way to get better. Always. Speaking from experience, whenever I feel upset at someone, or the stress of an exam or article is getting to me, I take some time off and find a way to have a laugh. Sounds weird, but it is surprisingly effective. Now, I’m not advocating ignoring all of your problems in favour of finding the perfect ‘cat falls asleep on dog’ video on YouTube. However, this can be something to do if you have a spare half an hour every now and then. And never forget, speaking to a counsellor or even a friend is also very effective ways to beat the blues.

Researchers at a women’s prison have discovered that their inmates who watch sitcoms and other funny shows are more likely to find ways to cope with and seek assistance in improving their own mental health. They also reduced the stigma around mental health issues. That is to say, after spending an extended period of time watching funny shows it becomes easier to improve your overall mood. You can use this improvement in mood as an opportunity to visit a professional therapist and discuss why and how you were depressed in the first place. Everyone’s mood can change, and you’ll want to be prepared in case yours does too.

As a self-proclaimed sitcom connoisseur, I have discovered that finding the perfect show can be more difficult than you’d think. Every shows have their pros and cons, depending on what your interests are. I’m probably jumping to conclusions here, but I’m assuming that you, dear reader, are a university student, here to learn in one of the large buildings around campus. If you study and love geography, you probably wouldn’t be terribly interested if I suggested The Office, so I’ve compiled a few suggestions depending on your area of study. Our budding politicians will appreciate the intricacies and satire present in The Thick of It, which has been roughly described by long-time politicians as “accurate, but with not enough swearing.” Considering every second sentence out of Malcolm Tucker’s mouth is a new and fascinating exploration in vulgarity, that’s quite high praise. Some students (myself included) are planning to enter into the world of journalism, so I would suggest watching FrontLine as a case study in what not to do when out in the field and interviewing the people of Australia. For those who are studying history, I would suggest the fourth series of Blackadder; although their link to real history is tenuous (Dr. House as Prince George?), it’ll be a lot of fun seeing caricatures of people you’re studying. If TV isn’t your thing, there are other ways to find comedy. Your local library or wharf (Arrrr!) will likely stock DVDs of the best comedians, from the musical genius of Bill Bailey to the scathing jokes of Jimmy Carr. They may also stock CDs as well, including radio plays such as The Mighty Boosh. It’s up to you if you want to use comedy as a way to help yourself feel better. I found that it works for me, and I’m sure it can help you too if you give it a go.

F E AT U R E A R T I S T

Hello. I don’t like to do this much. I like to write, but not like this, I sometimes like to paint, but not like that, I like colours, like those ones, I didn’t like colour this time, like I used to, I do like it like this, but not like I will tomorrow. I Know. It’s all been done before, like they say, The trick is not to care, like stealing cheese, Take everything you can because, like, shit’s fucked, Except you, we like you. Yeah So. Straight lines, jagged lines, Semi-circles, battle turrets, I like all these things. Go On. I should’ve got a job, but I had a breakthrough instead, Blue green and pink is like, the sickest. Get Going. Just like we taught you. -Chaasenberg

REVIEWS

GET UNHINGED Life is too serious—sometimes you just need to have a laugh. This is the philosophy that Wollongong’s own heavy punk band, The Unhinged, live by. “That’s our aim,” said James Flint, the band’s lead vocalist. “We just want everyone to have as much fun as we are. Think heavy. Think energy. Think fun. Think booze— your ideal party scene. That’s The Unhinged.” “We really just take the piss out of everything,” said James. “Anything we can have a laugh about.” It all began with a simple advertisement on Gumtree by James about 12 months ago, and has now become a band with a growing following. “We’re pretty happy to see where it leads,” said lead guitarist Paul Appleton. “None of us have big ambitions to be rock stars and make millions. In reality that won’t happen.”“It’s just something to forget about your day job and get into something you really enjoy doing.” As the band crack open some beers - a very important step for rehearsal preparations - you can tell these guys are all great mates who love taking the piss out of each other. Brandt Cattell, who drives a forklift by day, is the band’s bassist, and has been playing for six years. Well, trying to play, according to James. Brandt was the last member to join the band. “Thought I’d give it a try and have a jam,” he said. “They said I can come back, so I’ve been here ever since. Haven’t told me to piss off, so I must be doing something right.” “Not that we haven’t told him to piss off,” James corrected. “It just hasn’t stuck yet.” Paul Appleton, lead guitarist, is the most experienced member of the band, having been playing for over 20 years. Paul’s day job in clothing manufacturing allows the band to get the knowhow of the business. Michael Davies is the band’s drummer, and has been playing since high school. Mike works as a bartender, and according to his mates is an amateur comedian and quite frankly, “a top bloke”. Mike also once had a candle chucked at his

head during a Sydney gig by a junkie—though the bigger question here is: who on Earth carries around a candle in the city? Lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist James Flint works as a chef by day and is probably most remembered for his sense of humour. “James got naked and mooned his ass at me once,” said Mike. “It was only embarrassing for his misses.” The band has come a long way since their first rough gig at Corrimal Hotel in July last year. Mike’s reaction was the general consensus. “I was shitting myself,” he said. “I’d never played in front of an audience before.” This particular gig was shaky as a result of an unfortunate pie incident. Said pie nearly cost the band their entire gig; it managed to put Paul in the hospital the night before. “I bought a pie at lunch time and choked on it. Had a piece of meat stuck 2cm down my throat.” Paul remembers. “It was nerve-wracking,” Brandt said, remembering the gig that almost didn’t happen. “Didn’t know if he was going to make it.” Understandably, Paul was no good for singing at their first gig. The band remember it as “a bit of fun”. “We got to take his hospital gown off, too,” James insisted. Like a true blue Aussie, Paul continues to eat pie to this very day. The band have come a long way since then, with their 1st anniversary show highlighting their success; the audience jumped on stage while they played. “For a band that’s been playing for 12 months, I think we’re going pretty good, really,” James said. “People come to our shows and sing our songs. That’s always a good thing—it’s a start.” The East Coast tour in May was exciting and exhausting—seven shows in seven days, with a home show in Wollongong’s Dicey Riley’s, though the band were most excited for their Melbourne show. “It’s going to be nuts there,” said Paul, in preparation for the event. “Everyone says the music scene is good there.” James was also keen for the Gerringong show.

REVIEWS Zoe Simmons @ItBeginsWithZ

“Everywhere else we’ve already played before. Well, except for Canberra. But fuck Canberra,” he joked. The band were also set to play for the annual festival Creepfest on June 20 at the Corrimal Hotel, along with some other pretty big bands. “Clown is a massive band out of Melbourne who is headlining,” said James. “They’re pretty fucking good.” The Unhinged members are happy to see where the flow takes them. “If we can make a living off it, we’d be happy.” said James. “It’s a pretty hard gig, so we don’t have huge expectations. At the same time, the sky is the limit, really.” If you asked the band what their sound was, they’d rattle off 10 different bands, and none of them would be the same. They don’t really have a clue about “sub-genres”, and instead call themselves punk—it makes it easier. Though they admit most of them like The Ramones and NOFX. Music is their outlet. Their way to communicate what irritates them about daily life—as well as more important issues. ‘Drunk Again’ is about alcohol abuse, and ‘Bully’ is an antibullying song. “‘Deal with the Devil’ is about not selling your soul to a job, and actually enjoying your life, rather than working 60 hours a week and not enjoying it,” said Paul. Even ‘Parking Inspector’ ties into this theme, James explained. “No one wants to get a ticket off a Parking Inspector; it pisses you off”. “We just play stuff people will get into and enjoy.” Brandt said. “If there’s a bit of a message in there, cool. But we just want people to enjoy themselves and have a laugh. We’re doing a public service,” Paul laughed. Have fun, kick back, vent, and be able to have a laugh at yourself. That’s The Unhinged. What could be any better than that?

REVIEWS Caitlin Morahan

BOOK REVIEW: STILL ALICE BY L I S A G E N O VA “My yesterdays are disappearing, and my tomorrows are uncertain, so what do I live for? I live for each day. I live in the moment.” Alice Howland is a successful professor of cognitive psychology at Harvard University. Deeply respected in her field and thoroughly reassured of her own brilliance, she dismisses her occasional lapses in memory as the stress of work or budding menopause. But when she forgets her speech at a conference and ends up in her neighbours kitchen instead of her own, she realizes it’s more than the consequences of overworking. Diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease at only fifty years old, Alice is forced to step back from the life she was once so proud of. The novel explores the psychological portrait of a once-brilliant professor’s deteriorating mind, and how it affects her marriage and three grown-up children. She is now a woman who can no longer rely on her mind or herself, and each day is a struggle to hold onto memories and recognize familiar faces. The story is never without tension - we want to see what happens, how fast it will happen, and how the author will handle a mind that’s losing track of itself. Genova, the author, handles this well

having worked hard to imagine early-onset Alzheimer’s from the inside: from the victim’s point of view. The novel does have some weak points as many of the sub-plots are nonessential, however, the steady unmooring of Alice’s mind grabbed me page after page. Sometimes you can feel the author’s research lingering in the background. But when the book anchors down on Alice and the inexorable and electrifying train wreck that is her mind, the story tells itself just right. There’s early-stage Alice, covering up her lapses in memory and the words she can’t pull up, fooling almost everyone but herself – and then there is progressive Alice, who wets her pants because she can’t remember where her bathroom is. Genova is aiming for personal impact over literary prowess. It’s a beautiful and terrifying account of what it’s like to know you’re losing pieces of yourself every day, with nothing you can do to stop it. Telling a story from the viewpoint of an unreliable character is not without its gaps, but Genova executes it perfectly. The novel was self-published, because Genova felt Alzheimer’s awareness was too important an issue to wait – and the novel is a warning of sorts. A portion of the sale of each novel is donated to the Alzheimer’s Association.

C R E AT I V E WRITING

CREATIVE WRITING

THIRST The man sat on the brink of the bus seat like some skeletal desert bird perched on the bleached bones of a lone tree. He waited. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been waiting for a while now, but so had everyone else on the bus. They were at a stand still because someone had jumped from the overpass. Presumably the jumper had hoped to land in the river below, but instead they lay splattered on this lower bridge, only two or three metres from the edge. The bus was trapped between a cascade of cop cars and the tight confines of the ancient railings. No room to let anyone out or even to manoeuvre the bus so that there was enough space to let its passengers trickle out. The manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s throat was painfully dry, his spittle thick and viscous, congealing even as it sat on his tongue. There was no sign of progression in the near future, and all he wanted was some cool liquid to cleanse his palate and wash away the bad taste in his mouth. But he sat here in a muggy bus where the air felt thick as damp socks. He watched drops streak the window as outside it began to rain.

By Blake Curran

CREATIVE WRITING

Five poems from the work in progress collection â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Numbered Ghostsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

by Jeff A. Harbrow.

Induced Wisdom A drunken philosophers intricate maze of personal distinction. The great wisdom, just a vivid imagination. Getting Away With Murder. The gathered masses given consent unquestioned acts of questionable men. Laws of Motion. To move forward we must first look there. Our turned heads are getting us nowhere. Four Things Holding Us Back. Blinded eyes, tasteless joke, severed ties and runny yolks. Waking Up While Sleepwalking. Old habits die easy but ghosts still haunt our waking minds and sleepless states.

F E AT U R E PHOTOGRAPHER

Photography by Kayla Reay

FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHER Georgia Holloway @grumpygeorgia

K A Y L A R E A Y, M A K I N G M E N TA L H E A LT H P R E T T Y

Kayla Reay is a locally based photographer specialising in portraits and event photography. She says her interest in photography was sparked at an early age and has grown over time, becoming a central part of her life. Kayla’s work is distinguishable by her vintage inspired approach, featuring subtle highlights and muted tones combined to create photographs that can only be described as “eerily romantic”. Arguably her most evocative portraits are those which tackle the mental health theme. These are not stock standard photos which you would see on a public service poster. I sat down with Kayla to learn what inspires her work, and how she captures difficult themes so beautifully. What got you interested in photography? I don’t know if it’s possible to be born with a photography gene. But if it is, I was definitely born with it. There was never a particular event or time when I developed an interest in the medium, its just always existed. My passion grew with age. When I was little, I could almost always be found in the backyard, photographing lizards, butterflies, cockatoos, and whatever life I could find. In my teens, I started growing an interest in portrait photography. I think a single shot of a person can say as much as a short story can with words. I wanted to create photographs that captured the essence of humanity, that provoked emotion, but yet still allowed the viewer some form of freedom in the way they chose to interpret it. What has inspired your photography? Honestly, just every day, mundane, normal, boring...life. I take photographs for the same reason that people keep journals. It’s my method of self-expression and it’s an opportunity for me to make sense of my thoughts; to collect all my emotions - good or bad - and bundle them up to make a visual piece of work. There’s no better satisfaction than doing that.

Your mental health related images are not the usual depictions that you see, do you make intentional decisions when taking those photographs? Some of my photographs are planned to the finest details, like the plot of a novel. But others sometimes occur by accident. I think the ones that accidentally happen are my favourite, because they’re what capture the true, raw emotion of what I’m trying to express, without me even realising that it’s what I needed to say. Is there any reasoning behind the vintage feel? I purposely distorted colours in my mental health collection to create an unsettling feeling. Seeing photographs in colours that differ from the viewers usual perceptions is like being forced to see the world through someone else’s eyes. It’s unpleasant. I wanted to create an out-of-body sensation and to make my audience feel a little uneasy in the visual environment they’re being engaged in. And most of all, I wanted that off-putting sensation to reflect the plights of the mentally ill. Are your mental health related photos motivated by personal experience? Or is it just a subject you are interested in? My photos deal with my own experiences with mental illness both first hand as well as watching loved ones experience it. I’m also studying psychology, so the human mental condition is definitely something I hold an interest in. For more information about Kayla’s photography check out: Facebook: Kayla Reay Photography OR http://kaylareayphotography.tumblr.com/

GIG GUIDE J U LY _

AUG_

21st:

1st:

O- Day Festival @UOW

22nd:

Jed Appleton @Rad Bar

23rd:

Lore @Merringong

24th:

Villains Featuring @Towradgi Beach Hotel

Frenzal Rhomb @Unibar

5th - 8th:

Sex With Strangers @Merringong

7th:

21st - 23rd:

Travelling Film Festival @Greater Union Cinemas

22nd:

Asta + special guests @Unibar

27th:

8th:

28th:

Simply Bushed @Towradgi Beach Hotel

31st:

16th:

Death Cab for Cutie @Unibar

Band Comp @ Unibar

Gang of Youths + I Know Leopard// Supports TBA @Unibar The Laurels// Nicholas Allbrook + The Pinheads// Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;luna @Unibar

26th:

20th:

The Mick Heart Experience @Towradgi Beach Hotel

Safia + Boo Seeka + TBA @Unibar Le Pie + special guests @Unibar

31st-23rd-Nov: Night Markets @Lagoon Seafood Restaurant

SEPT_ 5th:

Xavier Rudd and The United Nations @Towradgi Beach Hotel

10th:

The Getaway Plan + special guests @Unibar

CONTRIB U T O R S

Printer: Print & Mail 23-25 Meeks Road, Marrickville NSW 2204 - Ph: (02) 9519 8268

Contributors: Gemma Mollenhauer Bec Wiggins Georgia Holloway Elodie May Amy Fairall Jamie Reynolds Laura Melhuish Claudia Poposki Zoe Simmons Annelise Decaria Nicole Archer Jessica Allen Nicole Langridge Gemma Jamison Adara Enthaler Elly Monoe Jake Cupitt Zoe Ridgway Kurtis Hughes Teisha Cloos Marie- Claire Demers Samie Johnston Jessica Perkins Kevin Suarez Oliver Chaseling Caitlin Morahan Jeff A. Harbrow Sammi Conn Blake Curran

Disclosure:

Acknowledgement of country:

Disclaimer:

The contents of this publication are made for and by the students of the University of Wollongong. Views expressed are of individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of WUSA or the publisher.

Tertangala and WUSA acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land upon which we meet and work, that of the Dharawal people. We pay our respect to their elders past, present and future, for they hold the memories, the traditions, the culture and the hopes for Indigenous Australia.

Responsibility for the Tertangala is taken by the WUSA council. The University of Wollongong accepts no responsibility for this publication.

Co-editors: Gemma Mollenhauer Bec Wiggins Designer/Illustrator: Bridget Peters Daniel Cvetkovski Creative Writing Editor: Nicola Selvey Sub-editors: Elodie May Jake Cupitt Georgia Holloway Claudia Poposki Photography: Kayla Reay Sammi Conn

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