The Transmitter Issue 14 by Transmission Publications Ltd

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ISSUE 14 OCT 2010

A SOUTH EAST LONDON MAGAZINE www.thetransmitter.co.uk

GLAMPIRES Vintage Vampires in West Norwood

HORRIBLE HISTORY

SCARY BOOKS

The Penge Murder Mystery of 1877

OUR 16-PAGE GUIDE TO THE MONSTROUS CRYSTAL PALACE CHILDREN'S BOOK FESTIVAL

HERE BE

MONSTERS! Plus

NEWS

FASHION

MUSIC

BOOKS

GARDENING

We are a professional firm of Chartered Accountants and Business Advisers based in Crystal Palace with over 30 years experience in providing quality, value for money and excellent customer service. We provide expert financial, tax and business advice to private clients and business owners, whatever the size and complexity, both here in the UK and overseas.

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Audit Corporate finance Corporate tax planning Mergers and aquisitions Strategic planning Wills & probate

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As Independent Financial Advisers we are free to advise on financial products available from all product providers

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Tax efficient investments Investing for capital growth Inheritance tax mitigation Trusts Estate Planning Company pension schemes How We Work

We use advanced computer software to research,compare and select the most suitable deals currently available. We are thus able to make arrangements to maximise the benefits to our clients.

67 Westow Street, Upper Norwood, London SE19 3RW Tel: 020 8771 8661 e-mail: mail@thorntonspringer.co.uk www.thorntonspringer.co.uk

67 Westow Street, Upper Norwood, London SE19 3RW Tel: 020 8771 8661 e-mail: mail@thorntonspringer.co.uk www.thorntonspringerfs.co.uk

Registered in England and Wales No: OC314913 Thornton Springer Financial Services LLP is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority.

Crystal Palace Acupuncture Friendly and effective treatment for a vast range of ailments. From fertility and gynaecological issues, through stress, skin problems and facial revitalisation, digestive problems, migraines and headaches, anxiety and insomnia, to aches, pains and arthritis, and (almost) everything inbetween. Do get in touch to book an appointment or for more information.

Lilja Katanka, BSc, MBAcC* www.lifeisforlivingwell.co.uk acupuncture@lifeisforlivingwell.co.uk 0773 910 5885 * fully accredited and insured member of the British Acupuncture Council

**BEER FESTIVAL** 8-11 October over 20 real ales available! SPECIAL FESTIVAL NIGHT LIVE MUSIC 9 October - Sax Pastilles - 9pm Not only do we have the biggest range of real ales in Crystal Palace...

• Sundays - Free Live Jazz from 2pm - 4.30pm • Mondays - Big Beer Band - 17 piece swing band 8.30pm • Thursdays - Quiz Night - Paul Partridge Quiz Show 8pm + first Tuesday of the month G&G book club + first Wednesday of the month open mike nite

The Grape & Grain The only pub in SE19 in the Good Beer Guide

Winner of CAMRA SE London New Star Award! 2 Anerley Hill, Crystal Palace SE19 2AA 020 8778 8211 www.thegrapeandgrainse19.co.uk

Supporters of the LOCALE scheme Discount for CAMRA members Homecooked food served Tues-Sat 1-9pm, Sunday 12-5pm Transport 2 mins Crystal Palace railway 1 min Crystal Palace bus station

WELCOME TO THE MONSTERS ISSUE

hat's that coming over the hill? asked popular beat combo The Automatic, adding, is it a monster? Is it a monster? To which the answer in this issue of The Transmitter is undoubtedly, yes.

Editor Andrew Pontin

Editorial Team Jonathan Main Hannah McEwen Annette Prosser

Regular Contributors Justine Crow Michael Eyre Howard Male Sue Williams

Guest Contributors Mary Stamm-Clarke

Design Consultants

Alongside all of the usual cornucopia of food, drink, books, music and gardening, we take a look at West Norwood Cemetery (which plays host to some glamorous vampires) and a historic murder in Penge. If that wasn't enough for you, we are celebrating the second Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival. Organised by local children’s author Alex Milway it features an outstanding line-up of some of the finest authors and illustrators working today. Be sure to put it in your diary – don’t leave it until next year when there will undoubtedly be Sky TV cameras, tents on the top of the park and an appearance by Jonathan Ross alongside a troupe of ukulele players. (It’s the first rule of a proper book festival, you can’t have one without a troupe of ukulele players. It’s what keeps them all in business.) The theme of the festival; you’ve guessed it, Monsters.

Alex Milway Simon Sharville

Don’t, as the man used to say, have nightmares.

Printing

Enjoy the issue!

The Marstan Press Ltd

Contact editor@thetransmitter.co.uk 020 8771 5543 The Transmitter is published by Transmission Publications Ltd

Cover Leo wears vintage La Rocka from Crazy Man Crazy, the girls wear vintage dresses from Cenci and Jewellery by Alex Monroe from Smash Bang Wallop. See details pages 18-25.

18 4

CONTENTS FEATURES 12 HORRIBLE HISTORY Horrible Hannah McEwen and the Penge Murder of 1877

14 WEST NORWOOD CEMETERY Scary Mary Stamm-Clarke visits our photoshoot location

18 (YOU'RE THE) DEVIL IN DISGUISE Local lad Leo goes back to the 50s with some vintage vamps

31 CRYSTAL PALACE CHILDREN'S BOOK FESTIVAL GUIDE Dates, times, Interviews and work from the festival authors

46 SCARY MONSTERS? Horrible Howard Male is not exactly quaking in his size 12s

DEATH IS NOT THE END . . .

48 CRYSTAL PALACE PARK DINOSAURS These monsters have been around for a while now

regulars 50 PALACE PATCH Sue Williams is thinking out of the box

52 THE WINE CELLAR Michael Eyre takes on some monstrously big wines

Bury yourself in this book! www.bloomsbury.com/mortlock

www.jonmayhew.co.uk

54 LOCALE Justine Crow on a night out with the swells in East Dulwich

56 THE BOOKSELLER Jonathan Main meets the monsters

58 WHAT'S ON Random collection of stuff that we've been told about

62 THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S A WORLD OUT THERE! Howard Male reviews lots of foreign music again

NEWS AND EVENTS

LOCAL NEWS, EVENTS OR STORIES? EMAIL COMMUNITY@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

Monster, monster, monster The Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival is taking place on Saturday 23 October 2010, and the theme this year is monsters. There will be a cracking line-up of the best children’s authors and illustrators – in fact we are so excited that we have dedicated this issue to all things monster-related in anticipation. For more details, go to www.palacefestival.org or read all about the festival in this issue of The Transmitter, starting on page 31.

TRANSMITTER CAKE

Library Events

Joe Hammond kindly sent this cake picture to us, saying: "My Mum, Judy Hammond, made this cake for our wedding. Amongst other things it shows the fully edible CP transmitter on the top. We were married on September 18 at St Stephen's church in South Dulwich. We had a wonderful reception at the Exhibition Rooms. They were amazing!

There is something for everyone in the programme of events at the Upper Norwood Joint Library this October. With Black History Month, National Family Learning Festival, the Big Draw, National Poetry Day, Croydon Family Learning Week and Crystal Palace Park and Read all falling in the same month, the library is set to be a hive of activity throughout the whole month. See Whats On section for more details.

More Transmitter pictures please!

SELL IT MAMA! There's another Sell It Mama! event coming up on Saturday 9 October from 11am at Christ Church, Highland Road SE19. Mums and nearly-mums can browse over 20 stalls selling quality second hand clothes, books, toys, prams, equipment and maternity wear The twins from Gobble Gobble and Amy from C is for Cake will be there to tempt you with yummy stuff (well, you are eating for two!).

Children's Book Festival Guide p31

NEWS AND EVENTS Award-winning charity Jocks In FROCKS Centre 70, the West Norwood advice and counselling service, has won a prestigious award from Sainsbury’s. Centre 70 was declared Charity of the Year in recognition of its dedication and service to the people of south Lambeth. Centre 70 was founded 40 years ago, and today employs more than a dozen professional advisors. It specialises in giving advice on debt management, entitlement to welfare benefits and housing problems, and no charges are made for the information and advice they give. The centre also has a professional counselling service, offering free daytime counselling sessions to those suffering from stress, depression and relationship difficulties. Amanda Parry, A trustee with special responsibility for fundraising, said she was delighted by the Sainsbury's award. 'It means a great deal to all of us, particularly the staff. They work so hard to help people. To be given this sort of recognition is a huge encouragement,' she said. For the next year, customers at Sainsbury’s in Upper Norwood will be using baskets and trolleys with the Centre 70 logo and information about their services. You will also be able to support its work by donating at collection points at each checkout.

Costume lovers, round up, round up! Frock Jocks beckons you to a night of fancy dress and cabaret galore! The Black Sheep in Crystal Palace has become the regular host of an unusual but delightfully fun and zany coming together that might just tickle your fancy. Combining pantomime, cancan and other such elements of theatre, the vibe is similar ‘to a night like Guilty Pleasures or School Discos,’ says Dan Percival, who helps organise the event. ‘It’s just fun; everybody is having a laugh.’ The night is free and costumes are provided on the night. All you have to do is turn up and have a good time. The music varies a lot. Anything goes, from swing to house to hiphop to cheese with different DJs taking to the decks. Last week, it was JP from Vinyl Junkies in Soho who played a stomping set. And Jack the Stripper, who sings little ditties whilst playing the ukulele, has just gained

residency due to his crowd-pleasing success. Frock Jocks is going so well that the Black Sheep will be opening their top bar which is normally only reserved for private functions. Dan reveals: ‘In the coming weeks we will also have a puppet show or cancan show and we’re also looking to put on interactive surreal comedy nights. Think Mighty Boosh, Rocky Horror and Austin Powers!’ The Frock Jock enterprise doesn’t stop there. A calendar with photos of local guys dressed in drag is being released for Children in Need. On 16 October at Westow House there will be a launch night and a Miss Universe competition where people will vote for their favourite month. Frock Jocks takes place at the Black Sheep on the following Saturdays from 7.30pm till 1am: 9 & 23 October, 13 & 27 November and 11 December. Happy Hour kicks off the night with £3 cocktails.

Centre 70, 46 Knight's Hill, West Norwood, London, SE27 0JD. Tel: 020 8670 0070/2195; www.centre70.org.uk

NEWS AND EVENTS Friends of Beaulieu Heights Beaulieu Heights, consisting of 16 acres of woodland and meadow, is one of the best–kept secrets of Crystal Palace. The park offers stunning views over the South Downs, and forms a tranquil haven in Upper Norwood. The Friends of Beaulieu Heights are a volunteer group who strive to make a positive difference to the park, and they would like more people to get involved as they start the new season of works and events.

Friends of 'WeTstow' Park If you are interested, the friends are inviting you to get involved. They will be working towards improving access and bio-diversity, and are would really welcome an input from the local community and conservationists. You never know – you may even sight the majestic muntjac deer! For more information go to www. beaulieuheights.org; or email friends@BeaulieuHeights.org

The summer may be over for those of you that were brave (or foolhardy) enough to spend time outdoors drinking warm and over-priced cider. Trench foot and fest chest may be a distant memory, but closer to home over one hundred Crystal Palace residents braved heavy downpours to take part in the Friends of Westow Park Play Day in August. Events took place under canopies and gazebos, including a bike surgery from Dr Bike, football, face-painting and even a visit from the police [for the right reasons - Ed]. As PC Dave Morris explained, 'It’s gone really well seeing as the weather hasn’t held out for us. There are lots of children and parents from the local community. This sort of thing brings the community together.' Friends of Westow Park continue to meet at 11am on the last Sunday of every month to maintain flower beds and a wildlife area in what’s locally known as ‘the boggy triangle’. Visit friendsofwestowpark.com for more information.

Local tarts - Abbie and Ana, from local cake firm The Tartlettes, brave a sagging tarpaulin to sell their treats

TRADING PLACES

HOW ARE OUR LOCAL BUSINESS PEOPLE GETTING ALONG?

Yakety YAK!

New Star Pub Award

BROWN AND GREEN Coffee

The joint winner of our recent curry cook-off, the Yak and Yeti restaurant, has been the subject of a programme by Croydon TV - a brand new on-line TV Station with 22 channels of Entertainment, Sport, Music and Food.

South East London CAMRA recently announced the Grape and Grain in Crystal Palace as their new Star Pub. Following Jack Beards going in to Administration Rick and Angela have purchased the lease on the pub, to the great relief of all of us here at The Transmitter who like a good ale or three when discussing the finer points of local scandal and goss. The presentation will take place on the saturday 9th October 7.308pm followed by Live Music from Sax Pastilles. This is not a night to be missed without a darned good excuse and a note from the doctor!

Our favourite local culinary duo, twins Jess and Laura, are opening their scrumptious new cafĂŠ Brown and Green at the Station at Gipsy Hill at the beginning of October. Expect breakfast fare to include fairtrade teas and coffees, best British bacon butties (and porridge too!), plus thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be homemade cakes, sandwiches, rustic salads and ready meals to pick up on your way home (open 6am-7.30pm weekdays, 8.30am-noon Saturdays).

The reason behind the attention is that the Yak & Yeti were the most booked restaurant in Crystal Palace on the Top Table website. They came in at number one with 8.2% of the vote beating local favourites The Exhibition Rooms and Joanna's.

A YEAR OF TRAINING Training Points fitness studio are celebrating spending their first birthday. It has been a year since they opened their studio on Church Road, providing the residents of Crystal Palace with space for personal training, yoga, pilates and massage treatments. To celebrate the milestone, they are inviting Transmitter readers to an open day on Sunday 3 October from 11am until 4pm. There will be snacks, raw food and healthy cakes, and you will be treated to a complementary hand or neck message and a 10% discount on the Pukka range of herbal teas and foodstuffs. Training Points, 85 Church Road, London, SE19 2TA www.trainingpoints.co.uk

Overspill treats The girls at the Overspill are inviting readers to come and share a glass of mulled wine to keep the winter chill at bay, munch on some Halloween horrors and view their latest lovely jewellery, works of art and posh frocks. Friday 29 October from 6-9pm; Saturday 30 and Sunday 31 October from 11am-5pm at: The Overspill, 4 Coopers Yard, Crystal Palace, London SE19 1TN.

OOH Betty! For those of your who enjoy the sweeter things in life, Bettys patisserie, bakery and tea house is opening on Westow Hill. Bettys will be offering a fine spread of traditional cakes and breads, as well as sugar and fat-free cakes, speciality breads, sandwiches and celebration cakes to order. Bettys will be open for tea, so you can sit down, rest those weary feet and enjoy a treat. Bettys, 67 Westow Hill, SE19 1TX

JErk'S OFF Spies tell us that, amid much wailing of sirens and mentions on radio news bulletins, local Caribbean fusion restaurant Island Fusion all but burned down. Well, we knew that they served some hot dishes...

The Overspill Girls

We wish them the best and hope they can get back up and running soon. In the meantime, anyone for some very, well done chicken?

EXHIBITIONS Photography exhibition

DINOSAUR ART EXHIBITION STREET ART

As the weather starts to feel distinctly Autumny [what a depressing thought - Ed] so ends the Summer Exhibition at the Bigger Picture Gallery on Anerley Hill. Artists collected their work on the last August bank holiday, ending what had been a successful summer season with around 3000 visitors to the exhibition. However, that’s not the end of the story. The Bigger Picture Gallery remains open over the next couple of months, and will be hosting the Pedder Photography Exhibition from 23 October to 28 November. The Bigger Picture Gallery, 2a Anerley Hill, Crystal Palace, London, SE19 2AA www.biggerpicturegallery.co.uk

There will be a new exhibition of dinosaur art featuring original artwork and prints by artists and illustrators for magazines and books. The exhibition starts 1 November at the Smash Bang Wallop Gallery, 40 Westow Street SE19 3AH

Streets Ahead Estate Agents, 4-8 Westow Street, Crystal Palace, London SE19 3AH

Image © Look and Learn Magazine Ltd 2010

SE20 exhibition The SE20 Group will be holding their fifth annual exhibition on Friday 29 October (6-8pm), Saturday 30 October (10am-6pm) and Sunday 31 October (12-noon to 6pm) at The Congregational Church Hall, 172 High Street, Penge, SE20 7QS

CARS IN OIL Cars, Men, Flowers and a Birdhouse, an exhibition of new oil paintings by Transmitter favourite, Carlos Cortes is at the GXgallery until 6 October. 43 Denmark Hill, SE5 8RS Tel: 020 7703 8396 www.gxgallery.com

HOW'S IT HANGING? The Dulwich Picture Gallery reopened in September with a new 'hi-tech' (it says here) entrance, a new and enlarged shop and all the pictures have been re-hung. Yipee!

The exhibition of local artists work at Streets Ahead continues during October with work by John Merritt. The space was given over to local artists as part of The Transmitter Art Trail and was so successful that the artists have now set up the Triangle Art Project to continue the work.

Image © Look and Learn Magazine Ltd 2010

Opening times: Monday Thursday: 9:00am 7:00pm Friday 9:00am-6:00pm Saturday 9:00am-5:00pm Sunday 10:00am-4:00pm

CINEMA NEWS Picture Palace Campaign UPDATE! Since the last update on the cinema campaign, things having certainly not been at a standstill. After the KICC (Kingsway International Christian Centre) decided it would not appeal Bromley's planning decision, scaffolding has been seen being taken in to the building for asbestos removal and decoration. In a recent press release KICC stated that it intends to use the building for religious concerts, and the Picture Palace Campaign is keen to find out if this is the reason for the work. They are concerned that concerts may have the same impact regarding traffic, parking and noise that many residents objected to during the planning application. The Campaign has had some great success with fundraising, and they will be continuing this work to allow them to keep producing posters, postcards, leaflets, t-shirts, badges and bags to publicise the Campaign. Some of the money raised also allows them to host meetings and possibly seek legal advice in the future. At the moment the Campaign is looking for people with expertise in licensing issues, so if that sounds like you, then get in touch. They are also keen for thoughts, ideas and involvement as they move forward. For all the latest news on the Campaign, visit www.campaign. picture-palace.org

Sphinx dining club A very special dining club will be opening its doors for one evening only. The Sphinx Dining Club will be hosting a benefit dinner and concert which will take place in the atmospheric surrounds of the St John the Evangelist Church, Auckland Road, Upper Norwood on Saturday 16 October. You can expect a Victorian-themed night of gastronomic delights, along with some very special entertainment. Each ticket will include a special four course meal, and you will be able to buy wine onsite. Victorian/ Steampunk/Jules Verne dress is optional, but would certainly help the evening’s fun and frolics. Tickets cost are £28 and all the booking details are on the event's website at: http://sphinxdiningclub. wordpress.com. All proceeds will go to the Picture Palace Campaign.

Crystal Palace Pictures New Season! Crystal Palace Pictures are delighted to announce the new programme for their second season, kicking off on 7 October with Duncan Jones' (who's dad is from Beckenham btw - ed), fantastically good first feature Moon. This low(ish) budget sci-fi is a nicely paced thought provoking film that film fans should definitely not miss. Crystal Palace Pictures meet every other Thursday in the The Gipsy Hill Tavern and show films on a huge 17 foot screen. With tickets just £5 on the door, including free food, what's not to like? Get down there! See the full programme and info at: www.crystalpalacepictures.com.

Photo by Craig Richardson www.craigrichardsonphotography.co.uk

Murder most horrid HANNAH MCEWEN REVISITS THE PENGE MURDER MYSTERY OF 1877 ‘You see, doctor. There has been a police watch on my sister-in-law. Authorised by her mother. It has been in operation in Cudham for over one month. Harriet was a very simple-minded woman, doctor. She married an Irishman. A thief who only married poor Harriet for her fortune. She disappeared some months after they were married. During this time there has been no record of Harriet Staunton being seen in the area. It is strange she should be reported dead in Penge. I fear her husband is a murderer as well as a thief.’ Harriet Staunton - A Victorian Murder Ballad, M J Weller

n 1877 Harriet Staunton was found starved to death at a house in Forbes Road, Penge. However, take a look at a modern map of Penge and you won’t find Forbes Road. When the details of the Penge Murder Mystery emerged, they were considered so shocking that the subsequent public and press outcry triggered a change of name. Forbes Road became Mosslea Road in an attempt to cleanse the tarnished reputation of Penge. Unusually for our Victorian ancestors, for whom media coverage was far more limited than it is today, the tale was considered so terrible that it drew attention from around the world. Harriet Butterfield was a wealthy woman, but was described by her family as being of ‘weak intellect’. The combination proved to be a dangerous one, as it was her wealth and vulnerability that caught the interest of Louis Staunton. Eleven years her junior, it was soon to become clear that Louis was more interested in Harriet’s money than in her welfare. He wasted no time on a proposal of marriage.

Harriet’s sad fate was sealed when she and Louis were wed on 16 June 1875. Harriet’s mother had her suspicions about the match, and she tried to prevent the marriage, but she was unable to protect her daughter. Within months of the wedding Louis had moved his mistress, Alice Rhodes, into the family home. In 1876 Harriet gave birth to a baby boy. In less than two years, Harriet and her baby would both be dead. When news broke, it attracted considerable international attention and no detail was spared, as an extract from The New York Times on 29 October 1877 shows: ’Her relatives desired to see her, but were forcibly prevented. She died, and her emaciated body, the condition of which attested its neglect by those about her, was found, in process of autopsy, to bear the unmistakable marks of starvation.’ It soon became clear that Louis had not acted alone. One of the more terrible aspects of the case was that Harriet’s downfall was not the work

of one man. He was assisted by his brother and his wife, Patrick and Elizabeth Staunton, as well as his mistress Alice (who was, incidentally, his brother’s wife’s sister). When the case came to court, Louis was defended by Sir Edward Clarke QC, a leading advocate of the Victorian age. Even in light of the shocking events, Clarke did a good job. Although all four were convicted and sentenced to death, he had raised enough doubt to result in the sentences for Louis, Patrick and Elizabeth being downgraded to life imprisonment, with a pardon for Alice. The charge was of murder by deliberate neglect, and although they were found guilty of just the murder of Harriet, it was generally believed that they were also responsible for the death of her baby son, also by starvation. As the New England Journal of Medicine reported at the time: 'This remarkable case, which has caused the most intense excitement in England, may be considered as completely closed; the four prisoners had been found guilty of murder in the first degree and

The Penge Mystery serves to remind us that, exactly as there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy, so, too, there are crimes so black and foul that even when brought face to face with them we can scarcely realise their existence. The Western Australian Times, 30 November 1877 condemned to death; subsequently the sentences of the three have been commuted to imprisonment for life, and one of the women has been pardoned.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Did this scandalous act lead the gentile suburb of Penge to lose an edge of refinement? We may never know for sure, but can only guess that rightly or wrongly, the public horror at the events left a mark that was hard to get rid of.

Harriet Staunton is buried at St Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Church, Beckenham, her name and inscription now barely visible on the headstone. A victim of a dark and desperate crime, her voice remains silent. Hannah McEwen Harriet Staunton - A Victorian Murder Ballad by Michael J Weller is available from www.homebakedbooks.co.uk

The coroner's inquest was held in the rooms above this pub (Now the Hollywood East) opposite the house in Forbes Road where the terrible deed was done.

Have you heard of Forbes Road in Penge? Probably not, as it was renamed Mosslea Road after the scandalous events known locally as the Penge Murder Mystery of 1877.

photo Liz Duffey Harriet's headstone at St. George's Church, Beckenham, with just a trace of the inscription remaining.

West Norwood Cemetery By Mary Stamm-Clarke

World War II bombings; but two original catacombs, which together accommodate some 3,500 coffins and boast advanced hydraulic lift systems, still survive today and are opened, on occasion, for viewing. In its heyday, Norwood was the most fashionable cemetery in South London to be buried in. In the years following its opening, its popularity rose and soon adopted the nickname, the Millionaires’ Cemetery due to the quality of its mausoleums and other elaborate monuments. In time, 300 persons with entries in the New Dictionary of National Biography came to be buried here. Some of the most prominent traders, entrepreneurs, medical figures, scientists, artists and writers of the Victorian era

outh East London is home to many hidden gems and West Norwood Cemetery is no exception. A unique and well preserved treasure, it’s worth setting aside an afternoon to pay a visit to this distinguished spot, and what better and more suitable time than at Halloween? But for now, until you have the good fortune of strolling through its 42 acres, here’s a bit about its history, its renowned gothic architecture and some of the famous people laid to rest within the beautifully landscaped grounds. In the early 19th century, and in part due to the growth of the Industrial Revolution, London’s urban population was dramatically increasing. Faced with the problem of overrun churchyards and traditional places of burial, Norwood Cemetery opened in 1837 to alleviate the strain of overcrowding. It was one of the first commercial developments of its kind. In fact, it was the second of the ‘Magnificent Seven’ built in London’s rural areas by the South Metropolitan Cemetery Company, whose lead architect was the eminent Sir William Tite. In what would be the world’s first Gothic cemetery, Tite designed two chapels, the lodge, the gates, the high walls and railings as well as the curving pathways among the deciduous trees, in keeping with the traditional English landscape. Unfortunately, some of Tite’s work, as well as a number of statues and monuments, were damaged in the

The Greek Section In 1842, four prominent Greek merchants, supervised by the Brotherhood of the Greek Community, leased a piece of ground in the cemetery, paying £300 for the exclusive rights of burial and erection of monuments. Further leases meant the enclosure extended to over 25,000 square feet. Today, the wealth of the Greek merchants is evident from an extraordinary collection of mausoleums and tombs, elaborate sculptures and the classical Greek Doric temple built of Bath stone.

can be found at Norwood: famous names include Beeton, Bessemer, Dollond, Doulton, Letts, Marsden, Maxim, Reuter, Spurgeon and Tate. A guidebook is available from the Friends of West Norwood Cemetery with a mapped tour of the grounds, taking one on a walk round these figures’ lavish headstones and memorials. Today, the cemetery forms the core of the West Norwood Conservation Area and is listed by English Heritage on its Register of Historic Parks and Gardens. Sixty-five monuments, the gates, railings, walls and the catacombs are Grade II or Grade II* listed. Whether you fancy a stroll in beautiful and tranquil settings, taking some interesting photos, or are simply curious about the cemetery’s rich architectural, industrial or cultural heritage, it’s worth stopping by. The Friends of West Norwood Cemetery provide guided tours of the cemetery on the first Sunday of every month; 2.30pm from April to October and 11am from November to March.

Mary Stamm-Clarke

We would like to thank the Friends of West Norwood Cemetery for their assistance and generosity with both this article and our fashion photoshoot (see pages 18-25). If you would like to know more about the history of the cemetery then a good place to start is their brochure Norwood Cemetery – An Introductory Guide. For more details visit their website: www.fownc.org

Screaming Banshee Could it be that West Norwood Cemetery is haunted? On more than one occasion, local residents claim to have seen a screaming banshee running through the grounds at night in distress, clothed in white Victorian robes. (Erm,...maybe call the police next time? - Ed)

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(You're The) Devil In Disguise

They are cool, they are vintage, they are...very suspicious...

Hair: Fortyseven Make-up: Lucy Young Wardrobe assistant: Natalie James Styling assistant: Hannah Pontin Models: Leo Lewis, Charlotte Atkins, Ana Maria Nadejde, Danny Fisher Photography: Andy Pontin 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Seville supplied by Danny Fisher (www.dannyfisher.co.uk)

Ana Maria wears 1950’s red cashmere sweater £28, 1950’s reversible circle skirt £48 (both from Vintagehart); gold plated bird loop necklace with diamond set flower by Alex Monroe £150 (from Smash Bang Wallop). Leo wears American early 1960’s Italian-cut suit £95 (from Crazy Man Crazy).

1950’s light blue cotton afternoon dress £85 (from Cenci); gold plated peacock feather necklace with apatite & amethyst by Alex Monroe £135; gold plated three peacock feather bracelet by Alex Monroe £135 (both from Smash Bang Wallop).

Charlotte (left) wears 1950’s black cocktail dress £95 (from Cenci); Leo wears American early 1960’s Italian-cut suit £95 (from Crazy Man Crazy); Ana Maria (right) wears 1960’s black cocktail dress with gold lurex brocade £95 (from Cenci).

1950’s black cocktail dress £95 (from Cenci); gold plated peacock feather necklace with apatite & amethyst by Alex Monroe £135; gold plated three peacock feather bracelet by Alex Monroe £135 (both from Smash Bang Wallop).

Ana Maria (left) wears 1950’s black faille dress £175 (from Cenci); fine twist posy hoop earrings (gold plate and silver mix) £135; posy flower hoop necklace (gold plate and silver mix) £120; fine post twist bangle (gold plate and silver mix) £135. All jewellery by Alex Monroe (from Smash Bang Wallop). Charlotte (right) wears silk, velvet and taffeta 1950’s cocktail dress £67 (from Cenci); gold plated peacock feather necklace with apatite & amethyst £135; gold plated three peacock feather bracelet £135 both by Alex Monroe (from Smash Bang Wallop).

Leo wears 1980’s La Rocka jacket £45 and trousers £25 (from Crazy Man Crazy). Cenci, 4 Nettlefold Place, West Norwood Crazy Man Crazy, 18a Church Road, Crystal Palace Smash Bang Wallop, 40 Westow Street, Crystal Palace Vintagehart, The White Hart, 96 Church Road, Crystal Palace

Cat light by SKK lighting, Bumble Bee by Alex Monroe, Fair-trade purses, Satchel by Cambridge Satchel Company, Room diffuser and soap by Heyland & Whittle, Knitting kit by Button Bag, Cufflinks by Allison Wiffen, Fair-trade hand-knitted teddy.

All this and more available from

40 Westow Street SEI9 3AH t:O2O 877I 55I7

www.smashbangwallop.co.uk 26

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Project2:Layout 1 23/10/2008 15:39 Page 1

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THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON

ISSUE 4 FEB 2009

WHITE HOT

OF THE

GALLOPING GOURMET Nadia Sawalha is back in the kitchen

ART

Local gifts galore!

AT THE DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY

FASHION ON DINO ISLAND

RESTAURATEUR EFUSIO TALKS

BOWLED OVER!

YOU WILL BE! BY YOUR ALL NEW LOCAL MAGAZINE!

KIDS COMPETITIONS INSIDE!

Penge, Palace, Paris, Pubs...

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Our Guide to Local Christmas Shopping

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SINGING CLASSES In Crystal Palace

Singing For Beginners A friendly group class for anyone wishing to improve their voice. Numbers are limited so booking is essential. Wednesdays 8:15pm to 9:15pm Salvation Army Hall Westow Street Upper Norwood

Private Singing Lessons

One-to-one lessons available in Upper Norwood on a regular or casual basis. To find out more or to book a place visit www.kateproudlove.co.uk email kate@kateproudlove.co.uk or telephone 07931 543650

KATE PROUDLOVE SOPRANO

VOCAL & PIANO TUTOR

THE FOOL by economycustard.co.uk

ÂŠ simon sharville 2010

Dulwich Open Day 2010 Trans_Layout 1 02/07/2010 13:02 Page 1

Open Morning at Dulwich College

DULWICH COLLEGE

Saturday 9th October 2010

Independent Day and Boarding School for Boys Aged 7-18

9.30 am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12 noon Dulwich College welcomes parents and boys considering entry into Year 3 (Junior School) and Year 7 (Lower School) to our Open Morning. No appointment is necessary. Limited places are also available in Years 4-6. Conducted tours of the College are offered with opportunities to meet pupils and staff. The Master of the College will speak at regular intervals in the Great Hall. Many other opportunities are available to see the Junior School and Lower School in action during Open Afternoons and midweek tours. Please telephone to make an appointment. SCHOLARSHIPS AND MEANS-TESTED BURSARIES AVAILABLE For further information, please contact:

The Registrar Dulwich College, Dulwich Common, London SE21 7LD Tel: 020 8299 9263 E-mail: the.registrar@dulwich.org.uk www.dulwich.org.uk Charity No. 312755

Open Days 2010 Junior

Senior Wed Tue

6 Oct 2.00 pm 2 Nov 2.00 pm

Tue Tue

9 Nov 2.00 pm 7 Dec 2.00 pm

For further information please ring or email: Senior: 020 8677 8400 enquiry@shc.gdst.net 42 Abbotswood Road London SW16 1AW www.schs.gdst.net

Junior: 020 8674 6912 enquiry@shj.gdst.net Wavertree Road London SW2 3SR www.schs.gdst.net

WORKSHOPS

Saturday 23 October, Upper Norwood Joint Library

FUNNY COMICS WORKSHOP 11-11.45am Learn from the best, as Derek the Sheep’s Gary Northfield and the fabulous Viv Schwarz take to the stage. For ages 7+ THE SUPER SPOOKY GHOST WORKSHOP 11.15-12pm Tom Percival, creator of the Tobias books, celebrates the lighter side of ghosts and ghouls. For ages 4+

ETHERINGTONS’ ILLUSTRATION WORKSHOP 12-12.45pm The extraordinarily talented Robin and Lorenzo Etherington invite you into their amazing world. For ages 8+

ADVENTURE COMICS WORKSHOP 12.15-1pm Travel to the ends of the earth and back again with Garen Ewing, creator of the Rainbow Orchid books. For ages 8+ MANGA WORKSHOP 2-2.45pm Get drawing in style with Ilya, illustrator of the Manga Shakespeare edition of King Lear. For ages 8+

THE BEST OF HORROR 2.15-4pm Amazing authors Steve Feasey, Alexander Gordon Smith, Sam Enthoven, Sarwat Chadda and Alex Bell come together for an event that will scare you witless and leave you crying for your mummy. This one’s not to be missed. For ages 12+

Workshop places are free, but be sure to book at Upper Norwood Library or on www.palacefestival.org Please note, times may vary, and the line-up may change.

CHILDREN’S BOOK FESTIVAL

FREE EVENTS

Saturday 23 October, the Bookseller Crow bookshop

11-11.25am LERRYN KORDA The creator of the beautiful Little Nye books, whose adventures are the perfect way to start the day. For ages 3+ 11.30-11.55am KAREN WALL & JIM HELMORE The creators of the award-winning Stripy Horse books will enchant and delight with their superbly stripy stories. For ages 3+ 12-12.25pm SARAH MCINTYRE Bogeys! Tentacles! Tiaras? Story and drawing fun with the illustrator of Morris the Mankiest Monster and You Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Eat a Princess!. For ages 4+ 12.30-12.55pm GUY BASS Award-winning author of Dinkin Dings and the Frightening Things is back with some secret treats in store! For ages 6+

2-2.25pm CT FURLONG The author of the fantastic Arctic 6 adventures brings these thrilling stories to life! For ages 8+ 2.30-2.55pm ALEX MILWAY The Mousehunter man is back with a brilliant new series. Get ready for The Mythical 9th Division, a team of super-skilled Yetis. For ages 7+

3-3.25pm JON MAYHEW Be prepared for thrills and chills, with the author of Mortlock, a tale perfect for Halloween. For ages 9+ 3.30-4pm LAURA DOCKRILL The brilliant writer and poet will make you laugh till you cry. For ages 8+

Children's Book Festival Festival Organiser and local Author, Alex Milway introduces us to the 2nd annual festival.

he quirky, colourful world of children’s books seems perfectly suited to Crystal Palace. We’ve got spectacular buildings, hidden tunnels, gloomy ruins, and even our very own monsters. Who else can boast that? When I moved to Crystal Palace nearly a decade ago, it was these things that drew me here. It felt like home, and I immediately fell in love with the place. The main setting for my Mousehunter book was a town sat on and about a very steep hill. Its buildings, old, toppling, needing a bit of love, were the towering houses of Belvedere Road. What could make the place better? All I could think of was to create a small, yet perfectly formed festival, celebrating children’s books and, in particular the brilliant local writers and illustrators.

But to say this is just a festival of local talent might be to underplay the people who are taking part. These are internationally published and award-winning authors and illustrators. We’ve also pulled in some of the biggest names in children’s comics, as well as wellknown authors from further afield. Throughout the day, we have workshops taking place in the Upper Norwood Library, with many being run by people fresh from events at the Hay and Edinburgh Book Festivals. And the amazing thing is, all the events here are free. You may have to book tickets, but unlike elsewhere these brilliant workshops will cost you nothing.

Alex Milway

and illustrators and also find something completely new. So read through the next few pages and get a taste for what’s happening on Saturday 23 October. You’ll see the line-up in full, interviews with visiting authors and illustrators and you’ll also find details of how to book tickets for the workshops. Alex Milway is the author of the Mousehunter trilogy published by Faber & Faber (www. themousehunter.com) and the new Mythical 9th Division series published by Walker.

And again, like last year, we have a line-up of authors at the Bookseller Crow bookshop. Starting with events for young children and finishing with readings for young adults, the day will provide something for children of every age. It’s the perfect opportunity to meet authors

MONSTER BOOK T

his year we’re creating a book with a number of local schools, and we’ve decided to base it on Crystal Palace’s greatest attraction: its monsters. Built in 1854, the monsters were the first representations of dinosaurs anywhere in the world. They are a fabulous monument to Victorian scientific achievement, as well as imagination, as many veer quite far from what we now believe the creatures look like. The book will take the shape of a bestiary of fantastic monsters, and will include the work of many children alongside that of brilliant illustrators and authors. The books will be handed out to children who helped create them, but there will be a small number for sale on the day of the festival. It will be a monster of a book, and not to be missed!

Fiction

DEATH IS NOT THE END . . .

Bury yourself in this book! www.bloomsbury.com/mortlock

Throughout the day, we've a host of fabulous authors reading and running events in the Bookseller Crow. CT Furlong, Alex Milway, Guy Bass, Jon Mayhew and Laura Dockrill are all taking part, so there's something for children of all ages. We were lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with Jon Mayhew, author of Mortlock: Jon Mayhew hails from the misty marshes of Wirral, described as a haunt of ‘godless people’ even in the days of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight! He spent most of his childhood playing in the ruins of a Victorian zoo and when he wasn’t doing that, he was writing or telling stories. He loves traditional music and running too… which you’d realise is a useful combination if you’d heard him play the mandolin.

What was your favourite children’s book/comic when you were young? I wasn’t a wildly keen reader when I was young but I loved the Moomins. There was a strange mix of nonsense and a little bit of threat too. Comet in Moominland deals with what looks like the end of the world! And the creature called the Groke always haunted my dreams! I also loved Marvel comics and had a pile of trashy horror comics that I daren’t look at cos they were way too scary! What is your favourite children’s book/comic now? I love Holes by Louis Sachar, Skellig, The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, Darren Shan’s Demonata. A book that blew me away recently was White Crow by Marcus Sedgwick. I don’t read as many comics or graphic novels as I used to but I do enjoy dipping into the Fables series by Bill Willingham.

www.jonmayhew.co.uk

Are books better if they have pictures? Picture books are, they’d be a bit rubbish without them. Some things work well with pictures. Take Fables, I’m not sure it would make a great read as a novel but it soars as a graphic. I love Tove Jansson’s illustrations in the Moomin books, they add another dimension. If you weren’t a writer/illustrator, what would you be? Well, I’m a recovering English teacher and used to love doing that so I’d probably do that or a philosophical hairdresser and have deep, metaphysical debates whilst giving a short back and sides. I’d love to be a curator in a museum and get to see all the grisly stuff they don’t display any more. Liverpool museum used to have a collection of shrunken heads and I bet they’re lurking in the store room somewhere. www.bloomsbury.com/mortlock

Exhibitions A

s an extra special treat, we have a festival exhibition of monsters, yetis and other peculiar creatures, including the highlights of the Festival Monster Book. You'll be able to see some great work by Barnaby Richards and many other talented illustrators upstairs at the Smash Bang Wallop Gallery, 40 Westow Street, SE19.

Also, check out the Bookseller Crow window on the day for a top secret knitted surprise from Whodunnknit!

The Chainsaw Gang PRESENTS...

Vast underground prisons ruled by demonic forces? Check. Fallen angels wanting to slaughter millions? Check. Undead crows devouring corpses? Check. We’ve got them and much, much more. On Saturday 23 October we’ll be taking over the Crystal Palace Library with tales of terror and torment. Just what you need for Halloween. There’ll be readings, a panel discussion where we’ll talk about the things that scare us, about writing and who’s the baddest monster of them all. To find out more, read on...

he Chainsaw Gang is a motley crew of horror writers that want to give you thrills, sleepless nights and stories of the highest anxiety. Stories where not everyone lives happily ever after. Old school horror. Classic monsters doing what they do best and heroes battling against all the odds. As far as we know, we’re the only gang like us and Crystal Palace is our first ever public event. It’s going to be a blast and a great chance to meet the new wave of horror writers, all in one place. Come one, come all. Bring your friends, you family, even total strangers! They’ll thank you later. Alex Bell - Author of The Ninth Circle and Jasmyn. A deeply disturbing mix of supernatural horror and psychological mystery. Panic, paranoia and nightmare. What more could you want?

To say anything else would only frighten you. Alex is also behind Lex Trent versus the Gods, a thrilling adventure story involving the games between gods and Lex, law student by day, cat burglar by night. Sarwat Chadda - Author of The Devil’s Kiss and Dark Goddess. Meet Billi SanGreal, the only girl ever to be recruited into the Knights Templar. She kicks ass. A lot. She’s disturbed, the tales are disturbing, the darkest of fairy tales where knights battle in skyscrapers and sometimes the Devil can be your closest friend. Sam Enthoven - Author of Crawlers, a story of a school trip gone badly wrong. I mean psycho badly wrong. Strange spider-like creatures infest the Barbican, creeping into peoples brains and transforming them into vicious killers. Meet Sam and find out what it feels like, and if anyone

survives. Sam’s also written Black Tattoo and Tim, Defender of the Earth. Spider creatures, demons and dinosaurs, all for the price of one author! Steve Feasey - Author of the epic Changeling series. Trey thinks he’s an ordinary teenager. He’s not. He’s the last hereditary werewolf, but can he control the power within him, the killer instinct that’s roaring to be free? You can never have enough werewolves. Or vampires. Or djinns or sorcerers. Discover the Beast Within. Alexander Gordon Smith - Author of the brutal Furnace series. Prison Break meets Darren Shan when Alex is sentenced for life for a murder he did not commit. But in the Furnace, a vast prison miles underground, he enters a place of pure evil where even death is no escape. Alex also wrote the great Inventors series, so do grab a copy of those if you’re into wild escapes, robots and crazy gadgets. Book your free tickets at the Upper Norwood Library or on www. palacefestival.org for The Best of Horror, from 2.15pm through till 4pm. There’s plenty more happening throughout the day but places in the library are limited, make sure you book early. Not suitable for anyone under 12, but that’s how we like it.

love

outdoor play If you love outdoor play, it’s time to Mission:Explore

In celebration of the 2010 Crystal Palace Children’s Book Festival we have two fun missions that challenge you to (re)discover the world around you and win prizes. MECP01

Draw a local fantasy map Create a map of your local area, but make it even more fantastic. Keep some features the same, but add, move and change others. Take it to Upper Norwood Joint Library who will display your map! All entries win a prize. MECP02

Follow command signs

Design your own command(o) sign below...

Explore the area looking for signs and words that command you to do things. If you find one, do what it says.

Show your sign to Bookseller Crow on the Hill and get a free sticker. “It may just be the most revolutionary geography-related book ever published.” Geographical magazine August 2010 Learn more about us at www.missionexplore.co.uk and download a free Mission:Explore festival booklet from the publishers Can of Worms at www.canofwormsenterprises.co.uk

COMICS Continuing the DFC Library theme is the wonderful and utterly bonkers world of Monkey Nuts by the Etherington Brothers. Where else would you find a monkey going on an adventure with a robot? Boy, are these guys talented, and you can join them at the library, 12pm Saturday morning. © Garen Ewing

Take Gary Northfield, for example. His work has featured in Horrible Histories, National Geographic Kids and the DFC, and his Derek The Sheep Comic has graced the Beano for many years. Taking farmyard jokes to a whole new level has become his forte, and if you don’t believe me, check out the fabulous Derek strip (opposite!). You can catch Gary’s Funny Comics event with Viviane Schwarz on Saturday morning at the library, but places are limited, so be sure to book your place.

DFC Library series of books it’s a joy to behold. Sarah is appearing at the Bookseller Crow bookshop on Saturday morning at 12pm.

Next up is Sarah McIntyre, a relative newcomer to comics from the picture book world, but boy you wouldn’t know. Vern and Lettuce, also featuring a sheep, is a great piece of work set in the leafy environs of Pickle Rye (sound familiar?). Published as part of the

To talk about comics and not mention The Rainbow Orchid would be a travesty. If you’ve ever loved Tintin books, Garen Ewing’s comic books will have you drooling over every page. He’s awesome, and you can bask in his amazing talent at his Adventure Comics event in the library at 12.15pm. Fresh from his Hay and Edinburgh Festival appearances, Garen’s event will be amazing, and tickets are very limited, so book now to avoid disappointment.

And last but not least we have the incredibly talented Ilya joining us. His Manga Shakespeare version of King Lear is a masterpiece, and if you’ve ever wanted to learn how to draw comics from a Manga specialist, this is your chance. The Manga workshop takes place at 2pm on Saturday at the library. For your chance to win all of the DFC Library books, check out our competition here (page 42). And to book your place at any of the festival workshops, visit www.palacefestival.org

hildren’s comics have taken a bit of a bashing over the past decade or two, but there’s a new wave of artists and writers making hilarious and brilliant work. And the best part of it is that many of these people are visiting Crystal Palace for the festival.

ÂŠ Gary Northfield

To read more Derek the Sheep, you can usually find him munching grass in the Beano or in the Derek the Sheep Book, published by Bloomsbury and available in the Bookseller Crow!

INTERVIEW Garen Ewing is the creator of The Adventures of Julius Chancer - The Rainbow Orchid. He has been writing and drawing comics ever since he was a child, but in adulthood had to take a break every now and then to work as a mushroom farm porter, hotel porter, stage hand, software developer and, eventually, commercial illustrator. What was your favourite children’s book/comic when you were young? Asterix was the first book I remember becoming obsessed by as a young child and he has stayed with me well into adulthood. When I was about 8 or so I got heavily into war comics, especially Battle and the DC Thompson Commando Libraries. I also read a lot of science fiction as a boy, especially John Wyndham, Harry Harrison and Isaac Asimov. What is your favourite children’s book/comic now? I don’t really think of books as for children or adults, especially amongst my own favourites. For instance, I still love Asterix, but don’t think of it as a book purely for children. Most of my

favourite books and comics are good for children, adults and those inbetween – the novels of Rider Haggard, Jules Verne, Conan Doyle, and comics such as Tintin, Dungeon (Lewis Trondheim), Nausicaa (Miyazaki), or Charley’s War.

as it was a course I set myself on from a very young age. I love doing research, so maybe something along those lines, but I think that would lead to writing, so ends up in the same ballpark. Um... how about Indiana Jones?

Are books better if they have pictures? No, all you need is a good story, and that can have pictures or not. Lovely illustrations will not save a bad story, though it might make it nicer to look at! Pictures give you a different reading experience, that’s all, it’s just another way to tell a tale.

What’s the best thing about your books/comics? I like to think that, when you open The Rainbow Orchid, it’s like a little door you can hop through to lose yourself in a big world of adventure for an hour or so. I’ve got a family of characters that readers feel as though they’re part of, which is just what I loved about my favourite books when I was younger, and is what I look for in books now.

If you weren’t a writer/illustrator, what would you be? I can hardly imagine anything else

INTERVIEW ILYA is a comic book writer and artist. His work has been published by Marvel, DC and Dark Horse (in the USA), Kodansha (in Japan), and numerous independent companies worldwide. Books include The Manga Drawing Kit for Thunder Bay Press; his awardwinning graphic novel series The End of the Century Club; It’s Dark in London for Serpent’s Tail; and Skidmarks.

20 years. When I found myself another copy, I realised how much it was in me – in the way that I draw, yes, but even in the way that I am (look like a fighter; prefer to sit under a tree smelling the flowers). I had no idea as a kid that it was a pacifist parable opposed to the Spanish Civil War. What is your favourite children’s book/comic now? Mezolith. I’m a primitive at heart.

What was your favourite children’s book/comic when you were young? Ferdinand the Bull by Munro Leaf, with drawings by Robert Lawson. I didn’t see it again for more than

Are books better if they have pictures? Depends on the book. I would say, “not necessarily”. Often it is better if the words can conjure up images

INTERVIEW

What was your favourite children’s book/comic when you were young?

The Etherington Brothers have been producing original comic material since 2003 and are the creative team behind Malcolm Magic, Monkey Nuts, Tusk, MOON and The Lore of the Things. They have also produced comic books for Transformers, Star Wars, Wallace and Gromit, Terminator Salvation, Dreamworks' Monsters Vs Aliens and Dreamworks' Madagascar. They are currently working on the simultaneous production of their next graphic novel, entitled Baggage, for David Fickling Books and a brand new illustrated Children’s novel series for Random House, both due for release in 2011.

Robin: I never really had one favourite. From the ages of 7-11 I pretty much read everything I could get my hands on. I’d regularly spend my pocket money on comics including Battle, Commando, Action Force, the Beano and the Dandy. We lived opposite a library so I’d be over there most days rooting through exciting books, like the Willard Price ‘Adventure’ series, and the Hardy Boys novels. Later I discovered fantasy and ravenously consumed Tolkien and Terry Pratchett’s back catalogue. Lorenzo: I really got hooked on great comics from an early age as our Grandfather used to give us old French copies of Asterix. I’d read them (well look at the pictures!) over and over again, just gazing at the pages. I also had a subscription to the Beano for about ten years! What is your favourite children’s book/comic now? Robin: If I’m being biased I’d say the DFC library books! The wealth of talent at work, from Dave Shelton’s Good Dog Bad Good, to Ben Haggarty and Adam Brockbank’s

for the individual reader; otherwise the reader is shut out. What’s the best thing about your books/comics? They are integral, by which I mean they are most often the product of a strong and singular vision. If a project I am working on gets too mediated I will most likely take my name off of it: all the spikes and corners will have been shaved smooth. And I reckon I’m good at storytelling (comic strip narrative), so hopefully reading one of my strips is a fully immersive experience – once you’re reading it, you’re along for the ride.

Mezolith is simply fantastic. My other favourite recent children’s book is the stupendously excellent The Secret Science Alliance and the Copycat Crook by Eleanor Davis. It’s a beautifully illustrated and skilfully told action science romp! Lorenzo: I’m pretty much addicted to comic books from mainland Europe (largely due to my early prolonged immersion with the Asterix series. Recently I’ve been blown away by a four book tale entitled Ring Circus. But there’s so much new material being produced in France, Spain and Italy that it’s hard to keep up with all the great stuff available! Are books better if they have pictures? Robin: Yes. No. Er. Pass. Well, actually I DO read grownup books without pictures (sometimes) and they’re excellent in their own right but there is something magical about the synergy between art and word. So I guess that’s a yes then. Lorenzo: Yes. If you weren’t a writer/illustrator, what would you be? Robin: Circus Strongman Lorenzo: Adventurer

PICTURE BOOKS

e've got some brilliant picture book authors visiting

the festival. From Lerryn Korda to Viviane Schwarz, there's definitely something here for the youngest of children, so interviews! We talked to local authors Karen Wall & Jim Helmore, cocreators of the award-winning Stripy Horse books. How long have you lived and worked in Crystal Palace? Jim: We’ve both lived down the hill in Sydenham for around 8 years. Karen: I’ve been working in Crystal Palace for the last couple of years. What was it that brought you here? Karen: I’d been going slowly mad working from home, having overly long conversations with the postman, so I moved to a draughty old studio in Forest Hill. It was so cold, that I used to open the fridge to warm up! I lasted one winter before I found my current place in Crystal Palace- it’s so much cosier and I feel part of the community. What made you start illustrating/ writing children’s books? Jim: Well, we’ve always loved picture books and I’ve written stories since I was very small. Karen: I trained as a textile

designer, so I’d done a bit of drawing before. I’d always loved the idea of illustrating a book but had never had the courage to take the plunge. Jim: We’d talked about putting together a picture book for very long time, then one day we decided to stop talking about it and actually do it! It took a few years but eventually our first book Letterbox Lil was published. What was your favourite children’s book when you were young? Karen: I loved Jan Pienkowski’s Haunted House and Meg

What is your favourite children’s book now? Jim: It changes all the time, but Russell Hoban and Quentin Blake’s Captain Najork picture books are fantastic: hilarious illustrations and for me the perfect silly, punchy text. And in keeping with the theme of the festival, what’s your favourite monster? Karen: The Cookie Monster of course! Who wouldn’t love a furry blue monster who lives for biscuits?

Karen Wall & Jim Helmore will be appearing at Bookseller Crow on Saturday 23 October between 11.30 - 11.55

read on for some cracking

and Mog books and I also had an illustrated version of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales which I remember vividly. The illustrations were quite beautiful and dreamlike in a late-seventies psychedelic way. I’ve tried to track it down to see if the drawings are as I remember, but I haven’t had any luck so far.

INTERVIEW Sarah McIntyre is the creator of Vern and Lettuce, one of many new comics in David Fickling’s fabulous DFC Library series. She also illustrated You Can’t Eat a Princess!, Morris the Mankiest Monster, and When Titus Took the Train. She makes books and comics at her south London studio in an atmospheric old police station… complete with a ghost and cells! What was your favourite children’s book/comic when you were young? I used to love this book called No Change, Please about this entrepreneur kid who goes on a summer camp trip, and comes up with all these crazy but workable moneymaking schemes behind his camp counselor’s back. It’s out of print now and I can’t remember who wrote it; when I tried to order it over the internet, I got a totally

different book, full of old Wild West printed posters and brochures (also cool, but not the same). I also loved a book called The Runaway Robot by Lester del Rey. In picture books, I loved In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak and my favourite comics were Calvin and Hobbes. What is your favourite children’s book/comic now? I still think Calvin and Hobbes’ Bill Watterson is the ultimate comics genius, but I’ve also come to love Posy Simmonds, both for her adult comics and some of the comic thing she does in children’s books such as Lavender. I think Viviane Schwarz’s picture book There are Cats in this Book is pretty amazing. Are books better if they have pictures? I like both kinds of books, they just work very differently. It’s like asking if

I think going to the cinema is better than going to a music concert; they’re two totally different things and I can appreciate them each in their own right.

If you weren’t a writer/illustrator, what would you be? I once applied for a job as a rigger on a masted ship. I thought it would be fun to sail old ships for a living. What’s the best thing about your books/comics? I think I’m good at coming up with characters people can relate to. I love getting into their world and trying to see thing like they would see them. With my comic book Vern and Lettuce, Vern the sheep is very much based on my husband’s personality and Lettuce the rabbit is a bit more like me. They all live in a tower block in the city, that’s not that much unlike my neighbourhood. So when I put the characters together, it’s almost like I’m overhearing them talk, it’s very natural.

Competition

In Association with

Win 6 fab comic books! We’ve teamed up with the DFC Library to give you the chance to win a set of all six amazing dfc library titles! From the delights of vern and lettuce through to the stone age adventures of mezolith, this is one fantastic prize. All you need to do to take part is complete the comic strip below,

festival, and they’ll be looking for

post it to the shopkeeper in the

making it as funny and brilliant

the funniest and most wacky work

Bookseller Crow, 50 Westow

as you can. The winner will be

there is, so don’t hold back.

Street, Crystal Palace, SE19 3AF.

and illustrators taking part in the

Just fill in your details below, cut

Deadline for submissions is

crystal palace children’s book

out the strip and hand it in or

1 November 2010.

picked by a team of authors

Cut out your completed strip and hand in or post to the Bookseller Crow, 50 Westow Street, Crystal Palace, SE19 3AF.

Be sure to fill in your name and age, and provide a contact email address! (We promise we won't use your details for any other purpose.)

CONTACT EMAIL:.................................................................. 44

A shop full of books that you might want to read

scary M NSTeRS? MOVIE MONSTERS JUST AREN’T MONSTROUS ENOUGH, SAYS OUR RESIDENT SCEPTIC, HOWARD MALE

ovie monsters, don’t you just love them? Well actually, on the whole, I don’t love them as much as I’d like to. I remain optimistic that one day a movie or TV monster will chill my blood again, the way the occasional Doctor Who creation did when I was a child, but I’m not optimistic. Most of the time they are a huge anti-climax, particularly if the director has built up the suspense before the unknown menace comes crashing through the door. The reason is that it’s invariably just some bloke in a monster suit. When the monster movie first became popular in the 1940s this limitation was a by-product of small budgets and limited technology. The poor man who was reptiled up for the 1954 classic Creature from the Black Lagoon was so restricted and stifled by his costume that he was unable to sit down for each daily 14-hour shoot and would voluntarily spend most of the time in the lake from which he was suppose to have originated, just so he could stay cool. Movie fans may well have been suitably terrified by this lumbering webfingered extra, but they soon became more sophisticated.

After decades of men in monster suits (with some relief coming from Ray Harryhausen’s stopmotion creations in films such as Jason and the Argonauts) we monster sceptics eventually got the creature we had yearned for in 1979. Swiss artist H.R. Giger’s creation for Alien was simultaneously chilling and beautiful in its insect-like otherness. And director Ridley Scott knew just how to make the most of this excellent raw material: he under-lit his claustrophobic spaceship set, made its crew credible and sympathetic characters, and then gave the audience only an occasional glimpse of a swish of reptilian tail or a flash of salivadrenched teeth, before each crew member was dispatched in a frenzy of viscera and screaming. Alien still stands as a masterpiece of sustained suspense. But when the sequel Aliens came along in 1986, director James Cameron must have thought that cinema audiences would not only want to see more aliens but also see more of the aliens. The film functioned perfectly well as a shoot ‘em up action picture but, for me anyway, the fear was gone because now the darkness had been made

visible. Yes, folks, Alien was just another bloke in a monster suit (even if he was a 6’ 7” tall bloke). Another bipedal human-shaped monster followed in 1987 with Predator. Then there’s all the werewolves, vampires and Vulcans. Vulcans are the worst offenders as they are just a pair of pointed ears away from being human. There are a few exceptions to my blanket dismissal of all movie monsters. John Carpenter’s 1982 classic The Thing featured a monster which was terrifying because its form was always changing and its motives were coldly Darwinian: it just wanted to survive and multiply. And as with Alien, the humans (this time stuck on an Antarctic research station rather than a spaceship) had nowhere else to go. But once again, the real secret of this monster’s success was that it wasn’t a putupon extra buried in prosthetics. It was an elaborate and inventive mixture of animatronics and stopmotion animation which managed to make credible (although the affects have dated somewhat) a metamorphosising creature which we never see in its entirety. And there lies half the solution. We need to be able to do part of the

work of envisaging the monster ourselves. Once a growling, slavering, stomping or slithering beast is fully comprehended it loses much of its power to frighten us. The other half of the solution is to go back to non-human nature for inspiration. Nature beats special effects designers every time, when it comes to chilling us. Ray Harryhausen and Stephen Spielberg knew this when they resurrected dinosaurs in One Million Years BC (1966) and Jurassic Park (1993) respectively. But there still remains a whole world of nature’s little wonders which film-makers could take inspiration from. And now that they have been liberated by the limitless possibilities of CGI animation it seems only right that they no longer torture innocent actors by making them spend five hours in make-up. However lovingly accessorised with slimed-up scales, cat’s eye contact lenses or pointed horns these costumes might be, the end result is never impressive enough for me to suspend disbelief.

"Swiss artist H.R. Giger’s creation for Alien was simultaneously chilling and beautiful in its insect-like otherness."

So, OK, here’s one place to start: the bottom of the sea. That’s where the really ugly critters are; truly abominable creations that never evolved good looks because it’s pitch black down there. Take for example the Fang Toothed Fish or the Deep Sea Hatchetfish. Obviously their gruesome physiognomies could just be a starting point. Hollywood’s CGI wizards could add poisonous tentacles, or make them a gelatinous sheet which drops from the ceiling like a slimy net completely engulfing its victim before slowly entering them through every orifice, and then pushing their eyes out from the inside: wouldn’t that be great! We sci-fi fans deserve to be awed, scared and revolted again, really we do. And yet even today, Avatar and District 9 just gave us more humanoids. Presumably the designers of the Na’vi thought that just making them taller, blue, and blessed with a tail, would be enough to keep us happy. Yes, I know: the Avatar aliens weren’t meant to be monsters. But still, it’s the principle of the matter.

Howard Male

The Monsters in The Park Of course, we could hardly have a Monster Issue without at least mentioning our very own Crystal Palace Monsters! Commissioned in 1852 and unveiled in 1854, they were the first dinosaur sculptures in the world, pre-dating the publication of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species by six years. Designed and sculpted by Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins with the help of Richard Owen, they were Grade II listed buildings from 1973, extensively restored in 2002 and upgraded to Grade I listed in 2007. Hawkins lived in Crystal Palace at the time, at 22 Belvedere Road where a blue plaque has been put up in his honour. An ex-resident of the house claims that he found parts of a dinosaur buried in the back garden whilst digging there. We don't believe him though!

This image is from a series available as fine art prints from Smash Bang Wallop, 40 Westow Street SE19 3AH www.smashbangwallop.co.uk

opiary or not Topiary, that is the question, asks Sue Williams

opiary or not Topiary – that is the question... perhaps not the best use of the Bard’s great lines but the Palace Patch likes to keep the puns flowing as the summer season edges inexorably towards its close and a touch of autumn melancholia sets in. It’s been a dry summer – lovely for pottering and a good old neck tan – but not so lovely for the Norwood garden. Straggly brown perennials, limp and scorched hydrangeas (they love water – hence the name) and even the good old hebe are looking spent and shrivelled. Topiary can be invaluable at this time of the year, lending form and structure to the late summer garden and then providing the mainstay of the winter landscape.

I love topiary. It hints at magic and centuries-old gardens. It is one of the most ancient of the gardening arts. In 1618 William Lawson advised his readers in A New Orchard and Garden to ‘view now with delight the works of your own hands ... your gardener can frame your lesser wood to the shape of men armed in the field .. Or of well-scented and true running hounds to chase the deer’. I’ve only ever managed a box of Scotty dog myself but Lawson has thrown down the gauntlet. Anything is possible with a pair of shears and some nail scissors. To effectively create topiary you need to consider the best plants for the job. I particularly like evergreen shrubs as their form lasts throughout the winter. The common English Yew – Taxus

Baccata – is probably the best and oldest plant used in topiary. It is a low growing form which is very versatile. An overgrown hedge can have its long upper shoots framed into pyramids and peacocks over time or a shrub can be shaped into a simple but classical column. A very classical look a la Roy Strong can be achieved by hollowing out a recess in a Yew hedge to house a piece of sculpture. Anything’s possible. Box is used commonly in topiary and is, again, evergreen, hardy and slow-growing. Box can be bought – at a premium – already framed into wire shapes which simply require maintenance. I’ve spotted Mickey Mouse and an aeroplane recreated in Box. Many a standard Box ball furnishes a period front door and provides year round colour and

interest. My favourite use of the plant is in the creation of knot gardens – either to house herbs or vegetables or to stand alone with gravel infill. In the 1600s the knot garden was a mainstay of garden design: geometric patterns were set out in continuous threads of clipped evergreen shrubs and, as back then there were far fewer varieties of plants available, the design of the planting assumed great importance. Early gardens were probably based on heraldry designs but a knot garden is best kept simple as the beauty lies in it being well tended – a fairly time-consuming job. A standard evergreen bush looks really dramatic if planted as a central feature. Box can be purchased fairly cheaply if you go for small plants but increases in cost rapidly for more established specimens. Patience might need to be a virtue.

I love topiary. It hints at magic and centuries-old gardens. Hedges on stilts are a marvellous topiary feature. I’ve created one at home from Bay which provides a screen which allows views of the bottom of the garden through its trunks. I initially planted eight small Bays along a bed between two lawns at equidistant intervals. As the plants grew the lower leaves and branches were removed and the main body of the plant shaped to create a raised hedge. It’s now about 9 feet tall and creates a fragrant stylish border to the middle

of the garden. At Wisley a few weeks ago I saw the copper beech had been trained in this manner but with a smaller beech hedge growing up between the trunks to create a hedge on hedge – very stylish. For the very ambitious topiarist a dramatic double-tiered effect can be achieved with a hedge top further shaped to create cones or balls. Again this style harks back to the 16th century and is especially suited to holly – Ilex aquifolium. The most mundane plants can be framed and pruned to provide form and fantasy in the garden. An arch can be overplanted with ivy which, if prudently pruned, can resemble topiary. Euonymus fortunei, Ligustrum ovalifolium and Lonicera nitida, to name just a few, are all common garden plants which can be teased into wondrous shapes. The possibilities are endless. Happy Gardening.

Look out, there’s a monster coming MICHAEL EYRE SAMPLES SOME RATHER BIG WINES

t seems to be that time again, with the close of summer and the prospect of another stunning autumn on the way we are looking for a level unctuous comfort into which we can wholeheartedly and unashamedly sink.

I have, for our collective delight, four fabulous monster wines and without any more preamble and in no particular order, shall dive straight in. Bai Gorri de Garage 2005 Tempranillo. 14% £35 Hola! Big, beautiful, dark ruby red colour with a lovely clear rim. Delving deep into a nose packed with dark fruits, wet leather (my fave), aromatic herbs, tobacco and figs. ‘Tis a given, then, that the palate is silky smooth with excellent tannin/acid balance buoyed up by straightforward and elegant, soft red fruits with a touch of spice on the end of, that now ubiquitous, long and luscious finish. Award winning gear. Food: For me? A morcilla fest and all that goes with it. Another route worth popping into the mental microwave to see if it defrosts, would be a puddingy type thing for those of you who like that sort of stuff. D’Arenberg. The Coppermine Road 2002 Cabernet Sauvignon. 14.5% £35.00 Wow. At first sight there is a dark, almost black red body to the wine, with a brick/cherry red rim. Leading to a classic mature Cabernet Sauvignon nose but with added diverse twists of roasted meat, coffee ground, liquorice and mint all

swilling around in there. Buff stuff. The palate engulfs you in its fruity, rich, soft and creamy embrace enhanced by some firm tannins taking you down that long, long road to the finish. A classic Cab. Truly stunning. Food: Tons ‘o’ meat. Anything with some spice. Pork Scratchings. Tedeschi Amarone 2006 Corvina blend. 15% £24.95 OK. A strong dense colour is the first thing you notice with this little number. The nose is a tad closed at this juncture with the merest hint of what is to come when you are pushed headlong into the delightfully dark blackberry and loganberry flavours. Very meaty, rich and fruity. All held together by some intense but finely balanced tannins. As we slide away on a long silky and chocolatey finish we can but murmur ‘ciao’. Valpolicella, next stop. Food: Meat (natch) and all other things Italian. Chateau Batailley. Grand Cru Classe 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot. 13% £30.00 Kicking off with a beautiful, crisp, clear ruby red colour that just invites the nose to jump straight in. Wafting by those succulent dark, soft red fruits with just a hint of mint on the edge. Eddying onto the palate with more creamy, rich, ripe plum and blackcurrant fruit. Sustained by a generous but giving tannic structure that lets this wine go on for a devilishly long time. Indeed a truly classic Pauillac. Food: Keep it simple kids, a nice steak, a good robust vegetarian dish or indeed a damn good cheese.

If your job is threatened…

All of these wines are available from Longford Wines 0208 676 5608 Email: james@longfordwines.co.uk Web: www.longfordwines.co.uk. The Coppermine road can also be found in selelcted Oddbins and some branches of Waitrose, but the vintages here are more likely to be 06 to 08. The Bai Gorri is shipped by Moreno wines and is dotted around the country, as in: Noel Young wines Cambridge, Butlers wine cellar Brighton and a little green corner shop in Knightsbridge. Until then,then.

Michael

Tedeschi Amarone 2006 Corvina blend. 15% £24.95

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Chateau Batailley. Grand Cru Classe 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot. 13% £30.00

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LOCALE

JUSTINE CROW FEASTS IN THE FAINT FLICKER OF FAME

his, dear reader, is not a review. It is the story of a tremendous evening spent in the damn near perfect company of the author and journalist Peter Evans and his missus Pamela, a ringer for Mary Quant’s smashing little sister. Long-time Upper Norwood inhabitants, Peter won’t mind me noting that he has been around the block a few times. He is remarkably unscathed though, and the pair exude warmth and curiosity exceeding well-mannered platitudes. Beneath the pristine civility, however, lurks two trap-like minds and a wealth of experience in the dark world of celebrity and power. So what on earth were they doing with linty floor sweepings like the bookseller and me? Being enormously forgiving, that’s what. Forgiving of our late arrival having missed the 363 twice, and of our considerably foxed bookshop countenance. Fortunately this kind and professional establishment absorbed our vulgarity with alacrity and from the first glass of flighty Prosecco to the final fat shot of Frangelico, as sombre and refined as a padre, we were fed and watered with a personality and patience uncharacteristic of a chain of restaurants, albeit a small one.

The first thing I clocked once we blew in damply off the street is how busy it was for a midweek evening. I mean the joint is hardly modest in size yet the bar at the front was humming and every table beyond was occupied with the serious business of chatting and eating. As coincidence would have it, these are my only talents. Peter and Pamela, accustomed to conspiracy on a grand scale, adjusted politely to my ravenous inanities while the bookseller was relieved to be finally partaking of decent conversation instead of having to tolerate my babbling, hungry cage-pacing. We were brought bright green olives, crisp and youthful and nothing like the devil’s nipples that my sister claims all such fruit to be. Peter then asked them to choose something dry and white and excellent for us to drink, which they did, and our starters arrived with a flourish; our hosts had their favourite avocado and crab salad, generous and swirling like a couple of tarantella dancers, the bookseller chose calamari with homemade tartare sauce and I was absolutely thrilled to have granchi fritti by mistake. No really. The mix up was all ours and thank god for it because I ate every morsel of the halved, battered soft shell crabs

with remorseless ferocity, their evolutionary error ensuring no waste on my part. As the lowly junior at the Pan Bookshop in the days when microfiche was the ultimate research tool and an ashtray was parked next to the till, I had wolfed down the gripping biography Ari, chronicling the intriguingly impetuous and entangled life of the brilliant Onassis. Transfixed by the flavours of sinister politics and operatic tragedy, had you told me then as I turned to the final chapter, that a couple of decades later I would be passing the bread to the man that had written it, I would probably have directed you to the fantasy section. Then, as if it all wasn’t perfect enough, something else happened: a handsome young fellow with just enough five o’clock shadow to make all our napkins go limp began singing. Yup. Volare. Oh, oh indeed. And so our evening went, switching between the entertaining anecdotes and discourse that included monsters of a fallible human kind from Mad Men to the Mob, heartmelting arias from four extremely adroit and attractive performers, and food that was gratifyingly accomplished. This is a branch of a

family of restaurants oft over-hung by the smug and self-important bustle of Lordship Lane and I’m sorry but I just didn’t expect the aromatic flourish that was released when I opened the al cartoccio containing sea bass baked with herbs, mussels and clams. As the fragrance rose, it was as if a small cloud had broken off from heaven – I would have licked the paper parcel of its celestial stains had I not been in the company of people who were friends of Michael Caine. While the bookseller snatched the opportunity to enjoy a guilty veal scaloppini from a farmyard of steak, pollo and porchetta on offer, and Pam went for roast salmon with samphire and salsa verde, I realised that we had all resisted the easy pizza and pasta option (the latter available as an entrée or main course). The fact that the bookseller made it past the Tuscan sausage ragu with gramigna is testament to the breadth of choice on the menu as I would have laid good lira on him bagging that. Some of us did have a lot of wine, which I don’t usually do on a Wednesday, and astonishingly, given the stimulation our various senses had already encountered, we had enough intellectual space left for

dessert. My affogato (combining cinnamon ice cream, liqueur and espresso) was like a designer’s capsule wardrobe digestif (it says here in my notebook) and Pamela’s granita was pretty enough to wear on a Milanese catwalk. The bookseller had some delectable cheese and, as the not-fat-at-all lady brought the curtain down with a final lament, Frangelico was swiftly supplied to further ease the passage of what had gone before.

And so we stepped outside with a man who knows all about fame and has breathed its heady scent of cordite and greasepaint, but is happy with a good plate of Italian chicken and a pair of retail no-marks from the Triangle. Furthermore, to our delight, Pamela offered us a lift back in her little bomb of a Mini Cooper and we zoomed home straight off the page of a stylish thriller.

Justine Crow Locale 58-60 East Dulwich Road, SE22 9AX www.localerestaurants.com Tel: 020 7732 7575 Opening Times: Monday to Thursday: 11 am - 11.30pm Friday : 11am - midnight Saturday : 10am - midnight Sunday : 10am - 11pm

The next Opera Night at Locale East Dulwich is on 13 October from 8pm-11pm. Onassis by Martin Sherman, a play based on Peter Evans’ book Nemesis, is due to open in the West End starring Robert Lindsay on 12 October.

The Bookseller JONATHAN MAIN MEETS SOME MONSTERS

ean Adamson was born in Peckham and studied at Goldsmiths College where she met her husband Gareth. In 1959 they began writing and illustrating Topsy and Tim, the series of children’s books that once taught us all not to be afraid of the dentist and how much fun learning to swim or going to a wedding might be. The series remains alive and well today albeit an updated brand with new illustrations. Since 1960 more than 130 titles have been published and sales in the series top more than 21 million books.

Published in 1978 and now long out of print Topsy and Tim Meet the Monsters tells the story of a trip by the twins to Crystal Palace Park with their mother. ‘Topsy and Tim were playing ‘monsters’. “Who wants to come out with me?” asked Mummy. “Where to?” asked Topsy and Tim. “It’s a surprise,” said Mummy. Mummy drives them a long way in her yellow mini to the park where they get to row around the island, climb on the dinosaurs and with the help of Paul and Anna (a pair of artists)

paint them. You can tell that Paul is an artist because it’s 1978 and he has long hair and a beard and wears flares; but the feeling that Sid Vicious is hiding somewhere ominously in the bushes is almost palpable. The book nevertheless is utterly delightful (and 75p in 1978 when the average house price was £13,650 and a gallon of petrol was 79p). In the last couple of years Tate Publishing, the books division of the galleries, has started publishing an adventurous range of children’s picture books often newly translated into English from another European language. When I was Born by Isabel Minhos Martins and Madalena Matoso (Tate £6.99), first published in Portugal, is no exception. Beautifully drawn it describes a baby’s first experiences from birth onwards. When I was born I had never seen the sun or a flower or a face. I didn’t know anybody and nobody knew me. Look out too, for Counting Birds by Alice Melvin (£8.99) and For Just One Day by Laura Leuck with illustrations by the brilliant Marc Boutavant (£9.99, both Tate Publishing).

In keeping with the theme of this edition of the magazine, I’m betting that the chances are when you woke up this morning you thought to yourself, I know, today I want to make a Zombie out of felt. Admit it, you know you did. Well help is at hand. Zombie Felties - How to raise 16 gruesome felt creatures from the undead by Nicola Tedman and Sarah Skeate (Search Press £8.99) will help you do exactly that. Want to make a Zombie Surfer, a Zombie Bunny, a Zombie Bride? No problem. Be warned however, the introduction cautions that said Zombies are far too unsettling for small children. Just for grown-ups then. Or perhaps crochet is more your bag, If so, then Creepy Cute Crochet: Zombies, Ninjas, Robots and More by Christen Haden (Quirk £8.99) should do the trick. Indeed we have our own Nosferatu who guards the shelves behind the till. Version 43 is a cyborg cop, human once, but now more program than man. Sent to planet Belladonna - most of whose inhabitants are teleported refugees either mad, or escaping a death sentence on planet earth - to investigate a particularly horrific (and unlikely) killing, he has a score to settle and an ambition to clean up the planet. Version 43 (Orbit £8.99) is also the latest in an ever inventive series

of science fiction novels by local author Philip Palmer. Signed copies will be available on publication on 7 October. Richard ‘Bugman’ Jones, as profiled in issue 2 of The Transmitter is an expert in his field (and there are a lot of bugs in his field). Now he has written Extreme Insects (Harpercollins £30.00), the absolute blockbuster of all things crawly, creepy and bitey. Want to know the oldest insect? The flattest insect? Or hey, perhaps the one with the most mixed-up sexuality? They are all here and in glorious widescreen technicolour too. And that just leaves two new books, one American and one British, both from the top of the Twitter tree. Sh*t My Dad Says (Boxtree £9.99) is exactly that: sh*t that Justin Halpern’s dad has said to him. Very funny but also very wise. And someone (Tom Morton actually) has had the bright idea of updating Dr Johnson with a Dictionary of Modern Life (Square Peg £9.99). If you’ve ever tried to catch a train on Sunday afternoon from Gipsy Hill you may appreciate this definition therein: Replacement Bus Service - irksome Weekend Conveyance: one pays for Pegasus but rides a raddl’d Mare with one Hoof in the Glue-Pot.

Jonathan Main

There are Cats in This Book by Viviane Schwarz (Walker Book £6.99) has been a shop and customer favourite since it was published two years ago and was deservedly short-listed for The Kate Greenaway Medal - it should have won. Now Tiny, Moonpie and Andre return in the sequel There are No Cats in This Book (Walker Books £10.99). Well I say return, they do, but they don’t hang around for long because they have a new ambition to go out and see the world. Perhaps they will send us a postcard. Viv is a genius, pure and simple.

WHAt's ON

SEND YOUR LISTINGS INFORMATION TO: LISTINGS@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

COMEDY The HOB Comedy opposite Forest Hill station 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill, SE23 3HE 020 8855 0496

Saturday 2 Oct Stand Up Comedy Stuart black , Mark Cornell and guests 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Monday 4 Oct The All New Stand Up Show Headline acts with new material 8pm £3

Thursday 7 Oct Celebrity Pub Quiz Cash prizes and drinks to win 9pm £2

Saturday 9 Oct Stand Up Comedy Marian Pashley mc, Dana Alexander, Gordon Southern and Guest 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Monday 25 Oct The All New Stand Up Show New act open mic night 8pm £3

Thursday 28 Oct Celebrity Pub Quiz Cash prizes and drinks to win 9pm £2

Saturday 30 Oct Stand Up Comedy Tom Price, Josh Howie and guests 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

EXHIBITIONS Dulwich Picture Gallery Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk Telephone 020 8693 5254 Open Tuesdays to Fridays 10am – 5pm Saturdays, Sundays & Bank Holiday Mondays 11 am – 5 pm Closed Mondays except Bank Holidays. Open on Good Friday.

Monday 11 Oct

Horniman Museum

The All New Stand Up Show

100 London Road Forest Hill, SE23 3PQ 020 8699 1872 www.horniman.ac.uk

New act open mic night 8pm £3

Wednesday 13 Oct No Pressure To Be Funny New Topical comedy show - Nick Revell, Alistair Barrie, James O’Brien + guests

Thursday 14 Oct Celebrity Pub Quiz Cash prizes and drinks to win 9pm £2

Saturday 16 Oct Stand Up Comedy Yianni, Chambers & Nettleton, Paul T Eyres and Cole Parker 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Monday 18 Oct The All New Stand Up Show Headline acts with new material 8pm £3

Thursday 21 Oct Celebrity Pub Quiz Cash prizes and drinks to win 9pm £2

Saturday 23Oct Stand Up Comedy Brian Gittins, Jack Whitehall plus guests 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Until 27 Feb 2011 Tuareg: People of the Veil The Tuareg are a diverse group of people from north west Africa, spread across Algeria, Libya, Niger, Mali and Burkina Faso. Despite regional differences, the Tuareg share the same language, religious beliefs and a similar mode of dress – one of the names the Tuareg call themselves is “Kel Tagelmust” (People of the Veil). The Tuareg: People of the Veil exhibition will provide an insight into the culture of the Tuareg people.

FILM Crystal Palace Pictures Gypsy Hill Tavern 79 Gipsy Hill, SE19 1QH

Thursday 7 October Moon Director:Duncan Jones Cert15, 97 mins 2009 Starring: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey 7:30 pm - £5 on the door Moon is a low-key, high-brow psychological and philosophical thriller. More akin to Solaris and 2001 than the rebooted Star Trek, it plays with our notions of ethical acceptability and the nature of reality. Writer/ director Duncan Jones won the 2010 Bafta for Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer.

Thursday 21 Oct Skin Director:Anthony Fabian Cert12a, 107 mins 2009 7:30 pm - £5 on the door An incredible true story, the film is beautifully shot, with three outstanding central performances that draw you into this desperately sad and tragic tale of a family torn apart by political circumstance and ignorant ideology.

Gallery Film Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD All films begin 7.45pm Bar from 7.15pm £8, £6 Friends All tickets available from the Friends Desk or phone 020 8299 8750. For information call 020 8299 8750 or e-mail friendsticketing@dulwichpicturegallery. org.uk

Monday 18 October Forbidden Planet Cert U, 98 mins. A cult science fiction film with groundbreaking special effects and an electronic music score. plus wine and canapés

The HOB Film Club opposite Forest Hill station 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill, SE23 3HE 020 8855 0496

Wednesday 27 Oct Film Club (last Weds of the Month) The Rocky Horror Picture Show 8pm £4

Screamers Club Films shown exclusively for Mums & Babies 1pm £2

MUSIC Gallery Music

Upper Norwood Joint Library

Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD

Black History Month - The life of Mary Seacole.

Thursday 30 September 7.30 till 11pm Supper with Music: An Evening in America Martin Byatt, guitar, and Susie Hawkins, mezzo soprano perform songs from Gershwin to Bob Dylan. American menu, so sit back and enjoy music, good food and wine. 2-course Menu £14.75, 3-course Menu £16.95

Wednesday 20 October 7.30

Simon Lane and Karina Lucas Pianist Simon Lane is joined by Karina Lucas, mezzo soprano to perform songs by Haydn, Grieg, Mahler and Rodrigo Vidre. £22 £20 for Friends – includes wine

LITERARY/LECTURES Gallery Lectures Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD

Thursday 7 October 7.30 pm Desert Island Books with Stephanie Calman Writer, columnist and broadcaster Stephanie Calman will be talking about the eight books she would take on a desert island and sign copies of her latest book, How (Not)to Murder your Husband.

Sunday November 28 Living in Victorian Dulwich Village at 3 p.m Local historian and author, Brian Green, will be giving an illustrated talk. Tickets £7 (£5 concession) available from Dulwich Helpline, Dulwich Community Hospital, East Dulwich Grove, SE22 8PT (cheques payable to “Dulwich Helpline”).

Tuesday 12 October 7.00 pm Professor Elizabeth N. Anionwu CBE FRCN talks about the life of the pioneering nurse and brave heroine of the Crimean War, who was also a contemporary of Florence Nightingale.

KIDS Upper Norwood Joint Library

39-41 Westow Hill Upper Norwood, SE19 1TJ 020 8670 2551 www.uppernorwoodlibrary.org

Tuesday 12 October ABC Club taster event (Learn how to decorate cakes ) 10.30 11am. Children aged 2 ,3 and 4 years.

Tuesday 12 October Waggle and Hum taster (Nursery Rhyme with puppets & shakers.) 2.00 pm for half an hour. For babies and toddlers and their parents/carers, free.

Thursday 14 October Pip’s Wildlife Garden puppet show 1.45 – 2.45pm The Nutmeg Theatre Group visit the library to entertain and educate children and adults about how they can help the environment in their local area.

Saturday 16 October Puffin Club launch New book group for children aged 5-8

11am - 12pm Spanish stories and songs for children with Cristina 1pm – 2.30 pm

Tuesday 19 October Pyjama Party 6.30 - 8.00 pm Children aged 4 to 8 are invited to come in their pyjamas and bring their favourite toy pet for party games and stories.

Thursday 21st October: Cartoon and caricature workshop 7.00 pm

And then all my clothes fell off...

Dulwich Village, as it is today.

La www.napolipizzase19.justeat.co.uk FREE DELIVERY 020 8776 5969

Collection Offer ANY 2 MEDIUM PIZZAS £9.00 ANY 2 LARGE PIZZAS £12.00 ANY 2 SUPER PIZZAS £15.00

To place your advert email sales@thetransmitter.co.uk or call: 020 8771 5543

THIS IS YOU This is the size of the advert

46.3mm X 46.3mm only £40 per issue

96 Anerley Road,Crystal Palace,SE19 2AN

YOUR MESSAGE Tel: 020 8655 7876

www.yourbusinessweb.co.uk

SOUTH NORWOOD WOMEN’S COUNSELLING PRACTICE

Join our network! Localskillswap helps you find people in your area so you can swap skills • • • • • • • •

Register at www.localskillswap.com Add your skills to your profile – choose from over 900 skills Select your proficiency e.g., hobby gardener, trained chef Browse other members and see what they have to offer Ask and answer local knowledge questions Post requests for skills on the home page Swap skills with other local members to get things done for nothing Dozens of skills on offer from dog walking to design, life coaching to letter writing

Our Crystal Palace & Dulwich group covers East Dulwich, Penge, Anerley & Sydenham There are also 5 other South London groups Get your skills listed and join forces with other local members at www.localskillswap.com

Counselling service for women Free Initial Session Sliding scale fees 020 8768 1366 – 07903 598324 London SE25 6PB www.womencounsellingpractice. counselling.co.uk mayanayake1@talktalk.net

Need someone to look after your cat? Crystal Palace-based cat-sitter Spends time with the cat(s) Testimonials from local cat-owners Call Alex on T: 0208 653 9272 M: 07739 805498

www.thecrystalpalacecatsitter.wordpress.com

60 Ad_Directory_AlexK.indd 1

23/07/2007 10:50:22

To place your advert email sales@thetransmitter.co.uk or call: 020 8771 5543

Directoire... Studio Spaces Available For Rent

www.laurencechandler.co.uk Local Professional Business Accountants and Tax Advisors

- Various Diciplines Considered -

Accountants Tax & Business Advisors

( from 1st October ) at Co-Op Workshop in Crystal Palace

Based in Crystal Palace Free Initial Consultation

Each space approx. 100 sq. ft. Rents from 106 per month ( inc electricity )

Laurence Chandler Associates

Call 07833 193 217 / 07956 169 730

Tel: 020 8339 7162

for further details

5 Rhythms Creative Movement and Dance with Emma Leech

Every Tuesday 8-10pm The Fitness Factory HSBC Sports and Social Club Lennard Road Beckenham BR3 1QW www.emmadance.co.uk

07984 593 276

Therapy at No.7 Manual Lymphatic Drainage Face and Body Treatment Zero Balancing ReďŹ&#x201A;exology Tel: 0208 670 3278 Mobile: 07941 528458 tanga@numberseven.info www.numberseven.info 7 Giles Coppice Dulwich SE19 1XF

Psychotherapy in Crystal Palace

Registered Osteopaths BACK & NECK PAIN SPECIALISTS

0771 943 2025 virginia@osteopathcrystalpalace.co.uk www.osteopathcrystalpalace.co.uk

0776 539 5109 osborne162@btinternet.com

Christopher Osborne U.K.C.P, M.R.S.S.

MASSAGE Holistic, Deep Tissue, Sports & Pregnancy

07815 742 266

www.themassagepractice.co.uk

THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS FOR MUSIC FROM BRAZIL, FRANCE VIA MALI, KANSAS AND GOOD OLD LONDON TOWN, SAYS HOWARD MALE

have previously mentioned in this column that the label ‘world music’ is both misleading and off-putting, encouraging listeners to think they already know whether the music it embraces is their kind of thing or not. Nothing makes this clearer than an excellent new compilation of Brazilian music called Oi! A Nova Musica Brasileira! (Mais Um Discos). Rather than the expected mix of bombastic samba and breezy bossa nova, what you get is a sonic glimpse of the music Brazilians are currently making which doesn’t cater for the expectations of a world music audience. Yet of course it will still get put on the world music shelves of your local record store (should you still have one) because it is from Brazil and not the UK or USA. But the sounds included on this double CD range from well-crafted indie rock to the most adventurous and texturally pleasing hip-hop, plus everything in-between. And because all the songs are sung in Portugese many of us get the added bonus of not knowing how banal or clichéd the lyrics are! Next up we have a French/Malian group who have pulled off that tricky thing of putting traditional sounds and rhythms into a

contemporary idiom without it just ending up a fairly predictable ‘global beats’ dance record. Donso (Comet Records) is both the name of the band and the album, and this debut effort is texturally and musically rich enough to bare comparison with the likes of David Byrne and Brian Eno’s My Life in the Bush of Ghosts in the way that most of the tracks have a tense funk backbone but also utilise the timeless sounds of instruments such as the Djele N’goni – a kind of rudimentary ancestor of the guitar. OK, how about some homegrown Balkan music? For at least a decade Balkan brass bands and Gypsy music in general has been become more and more popular amongst UK music fans. So it was perhaps inevitable that local bands would begin to integrate elements of this music into their own style. Balkan Fever London (Mind the Brass) (Green Queen Music) is an excellent compilation of such acts and demonstrates what a wealth of great brass and accordion-driven bands are kicking up a storm on our doorstep. This is not one for purists but for anyone who likes their rock a bit Balkan, or their Balkan music a bit rockier, it’s well worth investigating.

Meanwhile, back in the land of mainstream pop (kind of) is the wonderful Janelle Monae, a petite African American enigma from Kansas who looks like her own action figure (which given the current buzz around her, will surely be in the shops by Christmas.) The best introduction to her is the video for the single Tightrope which I urge you to check out on YouTube. The song itself is a compelling mix of James Brown funk, rousing Motown melody, and the friendlier side of contemporary hip-hop. But that’s only half the story. Just watch this girl move! Dressed in a tuxedo and sporting a perfectly sculpted quiff, her nimble footwork seems to defy gravity. If you yearn for the electric Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly dance routines of the old Hollywood movies this video evokes them without imitating them. But let’s return to her debut album. The ArchAndroid (Bad Boy/ Atlantic) is a barmy, sprawling sci-fi opera of a concept album which schizophrenically jumps from rock, to soul, to funk, to hip-hop without pausing for breath. And it earns the ultimate accolade from me in that it has made me very curious indeed to hear what she does next.

Howard Male

GURKHA COTTAGE

Our aim is to bring the taste of Nepal to the community in Crystal Palace. All dishes are freshly prepared using special ingredients and our chefs are always ready to serve to your needs, just the way you like it. The décor is modern, peaceful, clean and spacious. We warmly welcome you to our restaurant to explore our cuisine, in the hope you return to relive the Nepalese experience again and again.

“A truly memorable experience.”

• Monthly special dishes offering the best of Nepalese & Indian cuisine • Seasonal offers & events • Home delivery available

17 WESTOW STREET CRYSTAL PALACE, SE19

020 8771 7372 / 1503 www.gurkhacottage.com

Ross Road, SE25 £369,995 FH Immense and rarely available Semi detached 5 bedroom 1930’s built house with huge accommodation throughout requiring some cosmetic attention. A very healthy list of features starts with direct access to 2 acres of private meadowland. The meadow is a unique feature and the house part shares the land with other residents. It is a child friendly area with no public access, it has tennis courts, football pitch and picnic area. Other wow factor features include 100ft secluded rear garden, 3 receptions, garage and ample parking for several cars. This is a must see house and in our opinion an ideal family home.

Auckland Road, SE19 (VP) £240,000 to £265,000 LH Absolutely stunning 3 bedroom, yes 3 bedroom first floor period apartment situated on the highly desirable Auckland road. Beautifully presented, meaning no work to do for all you budding FTB’s out there. With a private front garden & garage and a location to die for with Norwood boating lakes across the road and easy access to both Norwood Junction & Crystal Palace rail & tube links into the city making this the perfect buy for the regular commuter into the city.

Highview Close, SE19

VP £435,000 to £465,000

Situated in a peaceful cul de sac location is this spellbinding 3 Bedroom 1930’s built semi detached family home. With a sweeping 120ft (approx) rear garden, parking, 2 receptions, luxury kitchen, cloakroom and separate wc. Ideally situated for easy access to Crystal Palace’s famous Triangle, rail & tube link into the city, Norwood boating lakes & reputable schools. You really need to visit Highview close to fully appreciate how wonderful it really is, make your dreams come true, we look forward to your call.

Wedgewood Way, SE19 £379,995 FH Immaculate 3/4 Bedroom detached home situated in a quiet leafy cul de sac. Offering generous accommodation throughout, ideal for the growing family your internal inspection is required to see this homes true virtues. Benefiting from 2 garages, parking for several cars & a divine rear garden which has been lovingly maintained by the current owners. Wedgewood Way is a real favourite for all SE19 lovers and an ideal location to bring up the kids, call streets ahead now to avoid certain disappointment!