The Transmitter Issue 21

FREE

ISSUE 21 DEC 2011

A SOUTH EAST LONDON MAGAZINE www.thetransmitter.co.uk

To HELL with this recession We're going Christmas shopping (locally natch)

The Dorkside Geeky Gifts CP COOKBOOK

BEAR NAKED

Christmas choc treats!

Plus

NEWS

EVENTS

Local TV star bares his all

MUSIC

BOOKS

FOOD AND DRINK

Over 80% A* - B at A level in 2011 Please contact us to arrange a visit:

Streatham Sixth (16-18) 42 Abbotswood Road, SW16 1AW 020 8677 8400 enquiry@shc.gdst.net

Girls who are happy, confident and inspired to achieve

Nursery & Junior School Open Afternoon Tuesday, 6 December 2011

2-3.30 pm

Please see our web site for further Open Day dates or contact us to arrange an individual tour

Nursery & Junior School (3 -11) Wavertree Road, SW2 3SR 020 8674 6912 enquiry@shj.gdst.net

Senior School (11-18) 42 Abbotswood Road, SW16 1AW 020 8677 8400 enquiry@shc.gdst.net

www.schs.gdst.net From September 2012 we will be able to offer school transport to and from areas to the south, including Streatham Common, Norbury and Crystal Palace, in addition to our existing transport to the west to Balham and Tooting, north to Battersea, Clapham and Wandsworth and east to the Dulwich area.

140mm x 228mm:Layout 1

3/11/11

16:30

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Capel Manor College Dean Blunkell, 55, is a theatre and costume designer, artistic director and tutor at the V&A Museum. After taking a Level 2 course in garden design he designed a garden for a friend and is continuing his studies at Capel Manor.

Starts January 2012

“I’ve always wanted to be a garden designer, I love the Level 2 Certificate in idea of changing spaces, and Garden Design now I can offer garden design • One day a week for 33 weeks. as part of my portfolio. The • Specially designed for those a career in garden design. course gave me horticultural • considering students with the skills and knowledge, and while I hated Equips knowledge to undertake higher science at school I loved it courses. here. It’s the support you get • Focuses on horticulture, plant here and meeting such a knowledge and use, drawing, design range of people that and graphics. makes it special.” • Students achieve a Level 2 Certificate in Garden and Planting Design.

• Progression is to the Level 3 Garden Design Diploma at Enfield or Regent’s Park centres.

To apply contact Admissions on 08456 122122 or email enquiries@capel.ac.uk or come to an Advice Session: Wednesday 7 December 2011

CRYSTAL PALACE PARK

The Jubilee Stand, Ledrington Road SE19 2BS www.capel.ac.uk

WELCOME TO THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE HANDS IN THE TILL

Well, who would have believed it. It’s Christmas again.

Andy Pontin HANDS ON THE KEYBOARDS

Justine Crow Susie Doyle Michael Eyre Katie Lee Jonathan Main Howard Male Hannah McEwen Olivia Staves Rachel De Thample Manish Utton-Mishra Sue Williams HANDS ON THE SHUTTERS

Catrin Arwel Andy Pontin HANDS ON THE RED PEN

Annette Prosser HANDS ON THE PRINTING PRESS

The Marstan Press Ltd CONTACT

editor@thetransmitter.co.uk 020 8771 5543 THE TRANSMITTER IS PUBLISHED BY

Transmission Publications Ltd PO Box 53556, London SE19 2TL

Cover Owner of Et Pourquoi Pas? in Westow Street, Fabrice (devilishly handsome in Vivienne Westwood shirt) holds Lancashire Bombs from Good Taste Food & Drink, Westow Hill.

Photo by Andy Pontin

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First up thanks to everyone for all the fantastic feedback on our food issue. It was far and away the most responded to (and seemingly most popular) edition that we can remember. Which just goes to show what a lot of piggies you all are.

Thanks also for all the entries in the food competition. The lucky winners were published on our website just before Bonfire Night and we are hoping to hear how they all got on. Thanks too for all the kind donations we received via credit card on our website.

It's hard to express how much we appreciate that kind of selfless support from you lovely readers, it actually brought a tear to our accountant's eye. And a big thanks again, as ever, to all our advertisers who are the ones that really make it all possible. Without the support of these local businesses there would be no Transmitter, so please support them too if you can this Christmas.

Anyway back to THIS issue in which we have oodles of goodly things for you this Christmastide. For our festive photoshoot, which is stuffed with odd bits you could get for your nearest and dearest (p28), we dragged a dozen of our local business and community people in front of the camera and asked them to do - in the main - silly things. Thanks to all of them for taking part and we hope everyone likes the results! Local Ăźberdork Katie reveals her selection of geeky gifts (p22), we quiz local hero Misery Bear (p40) and serve you up a seasonally spooky story from Justine (p42). And finally present you with a cornucopia of loveliness in the form of all our regular bits and pieces: yuletide window boxes from Sue (p46), a history of beer from Manish (p48), and some totally delicioussounding (not to mention brilliantly recession-proof) gift ideas from Rachel and the Crystal Palace Cookbook.

Have yourselves a merry little Christmas.

Ed

CONTENTS FEATURES 20 YOUR LEATHER BOUND LIFE

We talk to an ex-beeb exec who has a new local biz thing

22 THE DORKSIDE

22

Katie Lee lines up some perfectly geeky stocking fillers

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28 THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS Play spot-the-lovely-local in our festive photoshoot

24 PAINTING CANADA Howard Male looks at landscapes in the Dulwich Picture Gallery

40 UNDER THE GRILL: MISERY BEAR Q&A

We add to the woes of a little local resident and TV star 42 GHOST STORY Justine Crow serves up another exclusive Christmas chiller

REGULARS

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6 CHRISTMAS EVENTS ROUND-UP All the fairs and Christmas airs you could wish upon a star for

10 LOCAL NEWS AND EVENTS

Some things that may or may not interest locals 46 GARDENING: PALACE PATCH Sue Williams is back with some festive window boxes 48 FOOD & DRINK Manish and a history lesson about beer

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52 FOOD: CRYSTAL PALACE COOKBOOK Rachel De Thample serves up some Christmas delights

58 RESTAURANT REVIEW: THE PAXTON Justine Crow drags the bookseller out for yet another meal

60 WINE: DON'T TALK ABOUT EUROPE Michael Eyre dives into a double dip and comes out drinking

62 BOOKS: THE BOOKSELLER Jonathan Main picks out some stuff you can read over Christmas

65 MUSIC: THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! Howard Male has been listening to some music from 'the world'

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EVENTS ROUND-UP The Dulwich Grove URC Christmas Fayre Sat 26 Nov 11am to 4pm East Dulwich Grove, SE22 8RH Entrance 50p

Sydenham High School Frost Fair Sat 26 Nov 11am-3.30pm Westwood Hill, SE26 6BL

All Saints Church Advent Carol Service Sun 27 Nov 6.30 Beulah Hill, Upper Norwood

Alhambra Christmas Shopping Soiree Fri 2 Dec 6-9pm 148 Kirkdale, SE26 4BB Tapas and mulled sangria!

St John the Evangelist Panto: Mother Goose or Trouble in Nursery Rhyme Land Fri 2 Dec, Sat 3 Dec 7.30.pm £4 children £8 adults 2 Sylvan Road, SE19 2RX

Rockmount Primary School Christmas Fair Sat 3 Dec 12 noon-3pm Chevening Road, SE19 3ST Entrance 50p

Annual Frost Fayre Phoenix Community Centre Sat 3 Dec 11am to 5pm 66 Westow Street, SE19 3AF West Norwood Feast Sat 3 & Sun 4 Dec from 10am Food, artisans, gardening, retro

Sleeping Beauty St George's Players, Beckenham Fri 9 Dec 8pm Sat 10 Dec 4.30pm & 8pm St George's Halll Albemarle Road BR3 5HZ £6 adults and £4 children www.stgeorgesplayers.co.uk

Kirkdale Christmas Pop Up! Fri 9 – Sat 10 Dec eve Lots going on! www.kirkdalevillage.net

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Some festive local jollies : but please check details!

Paxton School Christmas Fair Sat 10 Dec 11am-3pm Woodland Road, SE19 1PA

Dulwich Picture Gallery Christmas Show for Children Sat 10 Dec 10.30-11.45am Magic images and stories with shadow puppets - £5

Crystal Palace Community Choir Sat 10 Dec Living Water Satisfies from 7 pm

Carol Concert & Christmas Market Horniman Museum and Gardens Sun 11 Dec 3-6pm English Baroque Choir and the Crystal Palace Band

St John the Evangelist Christingle Services Sun 11 Dec 3-5pm Christmas Fayre with Santa’s Grotto and Christingle Children’s Service Mon 12 Dec 4pm Christingle Service 2 Sylvan Road, SE19 2RX

Dulwich Picture Gallery Film Some Like it Hot (PG) Mon 12 Dec 7pm for 7.45 screening £8 (£6 Friends) inc food & wine

Dulwich Farmers Christmas Market Sun 18 Dec 9am-1pm Dulwich College, SE21 5LS

All Saints Church Christmas Carol Service Sun 18 Dec 6.30pm Beulah Hill, SE19 2QQ

St John the Evangelist Carols by Candlelight Sun 18 Dec 6pm Mulled wine and mince pies!

2 Sylvan Road, SE19 2RX

Concordia Chamber Choir Carol Concert Tues 20 Dec Gallery Road, Dulwich Village

Crystal Palace Pictures Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (15) A darkly comic gem!

Thurs 22 Dec 7.30pm The Gipsy Hill Tavern, Gipsy Hill £5 on the door inc free food from 7 pm

Aladdin St Mark’s Players Stanley Halls, South Norwood Sat 21 Jan -Sat 28 Jan

W

ith Christmas upon us, the pantomime season is back.

January 2012 will see the Mark's Players stage an original version of the classic family panto Aladdin at the Stanley Halls, South Norwood.

Full of family fun, laughter, tears, sobs and groans, the show will have you clapping, screaming, shouting and booing as the hero, Aladdin, along with his brothers Wishee-Washee and Zipper, attempt the perilous task of rescuing the beautiful princess Tooshi from the evil clutches of the wicked Vizier Nahsti.

As well as the usual mix of humour, slapstick and drama, the show will feature some popular songs to get you singing along.

Don’t miss out on this great way to celebrate the start of 2012, and head along for one of the six performances from 21-28 January Family, group and senior concessions are available, and wheelchair access is provided.

For more information on show times, or to reserve your seats, please contact the box office on 020 8659 7850 or 07801 556 713

Aladdin

Snow White

Fairfield Halls, Croydon Fri 2 Dec - Mon 2 Jan

P

antomime veteran, and our very own Crystal Palace resident, Paul Tate directs Aladdin, this year’s fun-filled family panto at the Fairfield Halls. Star of the show is ex-Eastender lovely Larry Lamb, who will be putting on his best villain’s scowl to play the evil Abanazar, Paul himself takes the part of the Emperor, and Wicked star Anthony Hansen plays Aladdin.

Paul is thrilled to be in charge of the production: ‘I am a great believer in the panto package’ he says. ‘We’re using modern pop songs as well as some old classics, lots of visual slapstick and a bit of showbiz glamour thrown in too. And not forgetting a Chinese dragon and, of course, our Magic Carpet!’ Climb aboard by booking your seats now! www.fairfield.co.uk He's behind you! Paul Tate hams it up in Aladdin

Churchill Theatre, Bromley Fri 2 Dec - Sun 8 Jan t’s always a great night out at the Churchill Theatre at panto time, and this year won’t be any different when erstwhile Strictly competitor Patsy Kensit digs deep into her dark side to play the Wicked Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Sarah Lark (from I’d Do Anything) hits the right note for her role as sweet Snow White, while Barney ‘Love you, Nev’ Harwood, one-time Bear Behaving Badly favourite and now Blue Peter presenter, plays her lovely best friend. Aaah. Good choice. No panto would be complete without an evil henchman, and this year it’s David Spinx, hotfooting it from that other pantomime in Albert Square.

Fantastic sets and costumes, magic mirrors, handsome princes and the odd baddie for the usual audience participation … you’ll love it. Oh yes you will. www.ambassadortickets.com 08448 717 620 (bkg fees apply).

I

WIN Snow white TICKETS! For the chance to win a family ticket to see Patsy Kensit in the 7pm performance of Snow White at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley on 28 December, fill in the missing word: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the ___ of them all? a) ugliest b) fairest c) funniest Email your answer to editor@ transmitter.co.uk (with PANTO in the subject line) before Christmas Eve stating name and contact/email address. Or on a postcard to: The Bookseller Crow, 50 Westow Street, Crystal Palace, SE19 3AF (don’t forget your contact details).

Terms & conditions apply. One winner will be drawn randomly from all the correct answers, and the winner notified by the editor. Good luck!

Go on, take a bite! Patsy Kensit is a wicked witch

Group Training & Timetable Group SeSSionS Please check timetable online as it is subject to change Monday

TueSday

WedneSday

ThurSday

Friday

SaTurday

Sunday

09.00 to 09.45 Stretching & relaxation

07.00 to 07.45 Stretching

12.00 to 13.00 Core & Balance

11.00 to 12.00 post natal w/ baby under 8 months

06.45 to 07.30 Strength & posture pilates Method

09.00 to 10.00 Fat burning

09.00 to 10.00 Strength & posture pilates Method

10.00 to 11.00 post natal w/baby under 8 months

13.00 to14.00 pilates

14.00 to 14.45 reconditioning/ Keep Fit – mild level of intensity

12.15 to13.15 post natal w/ baby under 8 months

12.00 to 13.00 Core & Balance

11.30 to12.30 Circuit & Kettlebell

10.00 to 11.00 Leg, Bum & Tum’s

12.00 to 12.45 18.30 to 19.30 Zumba pilates BooK aT STudio

18.30 to 19.30 Self-defence

16.00 to 16.45 pre-natal

18.30 to 19.15 aerobic/Cardio

14.00 to 14.45 19.30 to 20.30 reconditioning/ Body Keep Fit – mild Conditioning level of intensity

19.30 to 20.45 Thai Boxing

18.15 to 19.00 aerobic/Cardio 19.15 to 20.00 pre natal 20.00 to 21.00 Core & Balance

CLaSSeS onLy £10 – onLine BooKinGS – BooK More pay LeSS! • 6-8 People per group – £10 per session booked online (minimum 4 sessions) • Block book sessions and save up to £50 – Drop in sessions £12 Please call or text to check availability • Please see class description on our website

aLSo aVaiLaBLe • 1 to 1 Personal Training • Train With A Friend • Nutrition • Sports & Holistic Massage • Osteopathy

CaLL: 07986 764 553 85 Church Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2TA

Gift

vouchers available

www.trainingpoints.co.uk

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all our customers.

Hand-picked originals Open Thursday-Sunday 12-6pm (Fridays 12-8pm) The White Hart, 96 Church Road, Crystal Palace, SE19 2EZ Annette 07949 552926 | Dawn 07982 184657

Christmas & New Year Closing Dates 25th 26th & 27th December 2011 1st 2nd & 3rd January 2012 All other times open as usual Take Away Available Reservations & Party bookings welcome Free parking nearby 74 Westow Street, London, SE19 3AF Tel 020 8616 4511 Join us on Facebook

ge flyerNEW V1 blue.indd 1

26/04/2011 21:34

Satchel by Cambridge Satchel Co, gold bee by Alex Monroe, rabbit light, Rococo chocolate, bath products from LCDP, silk scarf by Simon Carter, gloves by Ruth Cross

All this and more available at

4o Westow Street SEI9 3AH O2O 877I 55I7 www.smashbangwallop.co.uk

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EMAIL US: editor@thetransmitter.Co.Uk

LOCAL NEWS & EVENTS

WE CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING BUT HERE'S SOME WE DID

Westow Park update Volunteers from across South London got together on 6 November to plant bulbs and mature trees in Westow Park. The day was also an opportunity to build on the biodiversity work that the Friends of Westow Park have undertaken over the past three years.

Since the Friends of Westow Park was set up in January 2009, it has won over £120,000 of funding which was used to revamp the playground earlier in the year. It has also developed a woodland area to encourage rare species to make the park their home.

The Friends of Westow Park rely on volunteers to work alongside them in all these projects, and without the efforts of all those involved, the park wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as it is now – as demonstrated when it became the perfect setting for the Crystal Palace Overground Festival in August. So look out for updates on how you can get involved in future projects.

Crystal Palace Overground Festival 2012 The Crystal Palace Overground Festival team are currently gearing up for the 2012 festival, which will be held in June (exact dates to be confirmed as we went to press).

The team are now recruiting for people to help organise various aspects of the festival. Noreen Meehan, the lead organiser, said: 'The festival needs input from members of the local community.

We need brilliant organisers who want to get stuck in and deliver an even better event in 2012.'

Ideally, they are looking for those with expertise in web design, graphic design, publicity, volunteer recruitment and management, marketing, sales and advertising, SEO and website optimisation, A&R, artist management, event production and administration.

They also want to hear from those who are interested in organising art, music, heritage, dance, poetry, literature, kids, theatre and foodie events in conjunction with the festival team. If you want to get involved in one of Crystal Palace's most fun and inclusive events, contact festival organisers at info@crystalpalacefestival.org with your CV. And check out the festival website for more details of opportunities on the festival team: www.crystalpalacefestival.org

Lecture series in Dulwich Dulwich Picture Gallery is marking the Queen’s Jubilee with its seventh impressive Contextual Lecture Series.

The Jubilee Series will be launched on 3 January 2012 by Professor Lord Peter Hennessy on The Queen as a Heineken Lager Monarch: The Parts of the Constitution that only She can Reach.

This inaugural lecture will be followed by lectures from 18 eminent scholars and authorities on themes relating to Monarchy, including David Starkey, Anne Sebba, A.C.Grayling and Lucy Worsley. These lectures will be held on Tuesdays throughout the year, through to the series evening close with Lord Butler on 11 December 2012.

Tickets will be available from the end of November and are £180 for the series; £162 Friends and concessions (includes the opening launch and final lecture). A very limited amount of tickets will be available for each lecture at the door on a first-come, first-served basis for £10 (£9 for Friends and concessions). www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk; 020 8693 5254

STOP PRESS: LATE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING Some shops on Crystal Palace Triangle will be opening until 8pm every Thursday in December to help you busy workers spend your dosh locally. See shop signs etc for details - expect mulled wine, mince pies and chocolate as the big day draws near!

Thursday December 1, 8, 15 & 22.

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DO WE WANT A ROOFTOP RESTAURANT? We like to keep an eye on how Crystal Palace Triangle is shaping up on the development front, so we caught up with the architects and project manager for the proposed transformation of the land right in the heart of the Triangle, between Victory Place and Carberry Road. In previous issues we have reported on the plans by owners St Aidans Group which include a market square, retail, restaurants, residential, office, work studios and a hotel.

The lads and lasses were very upbeat when we met them for a coffee in La Bruschetta, full of enthusiasm after an unexpectedly positive 'pre-app' meeting with a whole posse of planners in Croydon who were 'cautiously supportive [of the project] subject to the detailed planning application'. Now obviously that wouldn't sound very positive if it were the answer you got from the love of your life in response to a marriage proposal, but I am told that in local authority planning speak this counts as enthusiasm.

LosT TOREROs Aidans are 'looking to enhance the local fabric and deliver a local focal point in the square' (yawn) but what we really fancy is knocking back a pina colada whilst gawping out across the night sky at the glittering lights of London.

What do you think about having a rooftop restaurant in Crystal Palace?

Croydon planners don't seem very keen, maybe you aren't either?

Tell us what you think please leave your comments at: www.thetransmitter.co.uk

Keen-eyed locals will have spotted that Spanish tapas restaurant and bar Los Toreros quietly closed its doors recently.

The latest news is that the site is about to be taken over by Italians (real ones, from Italy). They intend to run the premises as bar and restaurant, as before, so it looks as if there will be yet another place to hang out, eat, drink and be merry.

We aren't sure exacty how long it will be before they open, apparenty there is a problem with the drains at the moment (yeuch), but we were told that 'Dyno-rod have been called'!

It seems that what the Croydon planners are shaking their heads and mumbling about, and the main cause of the 'cautiously' slipping into the conversation, is the proposal for a rooftop restaurant with potentially panoramic views across London.

Apparently the problem is the height - although it might seem to those of us unschooled in the niceties of architectural design that height would be exactly what one wanted for panoramic views accross London.

To be honest, we here at the Trannie thought that the rooftop restaurant sounded like the least boring bit of the whole thing. Don't get us wrong, we love the idea that St

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Julie’s

Handmade World

SINGING CLASSES In Crystal Palace

7:00pm Beginners A fun class for anyone wishing to improve their voice.

8:15pm Improvers Group and solo work for those with a little experience.

Specialising in:

Knitwear • Knitted Toys Wooden Toys • Local Crafts Wool & Buttons 3 Belvedere Road Crystal Palace SE19 Open Fri/Sat 11-6 pm & Sun 11-5 pm or by appointment on 07545 955 532

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Classes take place on Wednesday evenings at The Salvation Army Halls, Westow Street Upper Norwood To find out more or to book a place visit www.kateproudlove.co.uk email kate@kateproudlove.co.uk or telephone 07931 543650

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TRADING PLACES things keep on changing around these parts

A Lament O World! O Life! O Time!

On whose last steps I climb, Trembling at that where I had stood before; When will return the glory of your prime?

No more - Oh, never more!

Out of the day and night A joy has taken flight: Fresh spring, and summer, and winter hoar Move my faint heart with grief, but with delight No more - Oh, never more!

(Percy Bysshe Shelley) When, finally, the last 'character' pub in Crystal Palace metamorphoses into an East Dulwich clone, oh where will we go? Where will we sit and nurse that pint of ale and talk about the days of yore, when people didn't walk these streets in designer labels, and push organically reared babies around in buggies that cost more than our cars?

Oh well. At least we can now get nice food, a decent house red and not feel like we have just walked into The Slaughtered Lamb.

So who is poncifying themselves up and registering on the old Posho-Meter this issue? Well, Efisio at Mediterranea has added a posh new room above his restaurant (see panel right), Liz at Smash Bang Wallop has launched poncey brand SBW at Home upstairs in her new homewares 'department', Andy at Bambino's has had a shop makeover and is opening a posh coffee section in association with Transmitter favourites Volcano Coffee and Dennis at D Solo's (see page right) is bringing in several 'exclusive' designer lablels. There is literally no stopping these people.

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THE ALMA Those of you keeping up will have spotted that The Alma pub on Church Road SE19 has changed hands recently. We popped in to speak to new landlord Stephen Boyd and his pal David Chant about their plans. Stephen used to run the East Dulwich Tavern and plans to make The Alma a friendly local serving 'good honest food' and decent wine and beer.

It's going to be all Farrow and Ball and soft furnishings as you might expect and the big TV is definitely out, as is the immediate prospect of live music. There will be lots of tables and chairs and making the most of the old fireplaces and all that kind of thing and so is sure to be giving the White Hart a run for its money on the cosy front.

The beers are tied to big cheeses Enterprise Inns but they have a free hand in their selection of wines and intend to make the most of this by

offering a good range of tempting, well priced bottles of plonk. We may have to send Michael Eyre in soon to test that theory! They also plan to properly utilise the very ample rear garden space next summer offering barbecues etc so it's likely to become a very popular corner of the world when the sun comes back out.

In the meantime there will be plenty of winter nosh to have by the fireside and the new chef is recruited and ready to go (well, as soon as the building contractors give him a kitchen anyway).

The Alma opens on 24 November.

The Alma 95 Church Road Crystal Palace SE19 2TA

Wot, no telly? Interior decor designs for the refurbed Alma

12 years on trend Pretty soon we’ll all be swaggering Mancunian-style round the Triangle, as Dennis Brown at D Solo’s will be including Liam Gallagher’s Pretty Green in his range of designer menswear in the new year. With the addition of Superdry on the horizon too, it’s getting easier and easier to buy great labels without schlepping up to the West End. D Solo’s, celebrating its 12th birthday this November, has built an envious reputation for cool quality clothing, with names like Elvis Jesus and Peter Werth bringing Dennis’s ever-increasing list of loyal customers back for more.

Fab as the fashion is though, it’s not just about those labels. Having gained retail experience via an

apprenticeship scheme and with big names of the past Chipie and Chevignon, it was Dennis’s dream to create his own shop. ‘I spent a lot of time trying to get the feel right, so people can browse without pressure, a bit like a home from home. I know that's the kind of shopping experience I like, one where I feel comfortable.’

And so D Solo’s was born, just up the road from Dennis’s life-long home on Anerley Hill. You’ll find lots of labels you love on the rails – including Schott, Energie, and Franklin & Marshall – and December also sees the launch of their new website so those further afield can buy online.

D Solo’s 23 Church Road Crystal Palace 020 8653 7585 www.dsolos.com Dennis at D Solo’s

ROOM AT THE TOP Just in time for the party season, Mediterranea on Westow Street has opened a new room upstairs.

The new space looks like a great place to relax with a glass of wine and some of the restaurant’s tasty nibbles. Efisio, the owner, also has some exciting new wines on

offer. As well as somewhere to pop by and chill out, the room, with its own staffed bar, is an ideal central location to hold a party and is available to small groups free of charge if you are eating at the restaurant. Go along and have a look for yourself.

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Hidden Art at the Heart of the Triangle artisans which has been at the heart of Crystal Palace for thirty years.

Y

ou don’t have to spend long in an area like Brick Lane to understand how the creative industries are one of the keys to a vibrant community, assisting in the regeneration of an area and contributing to its vitality and character. As more and more studios filled the Truman Brewery there, it became the heart and home of artists and urban renewal, and a new cultural centre was created.

Here at the other end of the Overground Line we have our own creative industries tucked away in lively hubs in Coopers Yard, Victory Place, Antenna Studios and above the Winkworth Building; all of these are packed with individuals and businesses contributing to the culture of Crystal Palace. But I wonder how many of you know Gipsy Hill Workshops, off Westow Street. Blink and you’d miss the turning, but if you wander down Paddock Gardens (by Popiel Cycles) you’ll find a cobbled courtyard – once home to a livery stable block – leading to a little green door at number 14.

Nestled amongst the new builds, there’s a co-operative of artists and

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Showcasing an inspiring range of creative skills amongst its 14 members, it’s an entrepreneurial one-stop shop for anyone needing a creative solution. Downstairs you’ll find woodworkers, ceramicists and a sculptor, whilst upstairs are artists, illustrators, sign writers and makers, a tailor/costumier, a milliner and a jeweller, as well as a web design and development business, and the home of Progress Through Art CIC. Impressed? You will be.

To find out more about Gipsy Hill Workshops visit www. gipsyhillworkshops.co.uk or you can support these local artisans by doing a spot of festive shopping at their Christmas Open Studios taking place on 3/4, 10/11, and 17/18 December from 10am until 6pm.

If you would like to pop in at other times do check ahead to make sure the people you would like to visit are on site.

Gipsy Hill Workshops 14 Paddock Gardens Crystal Palace London SE19 3SB

Here’s how Debs did it: 2004 BA Hons in Costume for Screen and Stage, Bournemouth 2004 Men’s Workroom at costumier Angels, central London 2008 Headhunted by Billionaire Italian Couture, becoming Made to Measure Menswear Manager at their London flagship store 2011 Sets up as freelance gentlemen’s tailor and costume maker at Gipsy Hill Workshops, Crystal Palace

tailoring talent British Bespoke Tailor and Costume Maker, Debs Tallentire, patterns, cuts and constructs garments, styling gentlemen within the entertainment industry. With her measuring tape, chalk and thimble at the ready her next theatrical or tailoring project is never far away.

Men are, of course, all different shapes and sizes. To have a garment that you love and fits like a second skin, you need a tailor who truly understands how to develop your style and design ideas. With traditional bespoke tailoring roots, fashion expertise and theatrical costume-construction experience under her belt, Debs is fast

becoming one of the leading female professionals in the field of tailored and theatrical menswear.

Since February, Debs has tailored garments for film, theatre, live performance, business and private clients, including productions as diverse as ENO’s Marriage of Figaro and Tosca, and Batman Live and Love Never Dies. Her work speaks for itself and her reputation within the industry continues to grow.

For Debs, she’s now where she wants to be.

‘I just want to make beautiful clothes that make men feel fabulous when they wear them. I love all styles of

menswear and just adore a man in a tailored suit!’ she effuses. But she understands too that for many men, how they achieve the look they want can be daunting. ‘Men can find it challenging to find a garment that either reinforces their specific style or helps them to redefine the way they want to feel about themselves.

When i make a garment for a client, it’s about helping them make the statement they’ve always wanted to make, whatever the occasion.’ www.facebook.com/ DebsTallentireTailoringandCostume www.facebook.com/ DeborahTallentire.TallentireSuits

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NEIGHBOURS OUR FAVE FESTIVE SHOPS BEYOND se19

alhambra

Beamish & McGlue

Sharp Works

You may already know about this gem of a shop in Sydenham as its range of original Spanish items – in particular their reclaimed tiles and handmade rugs –has acquired many an admiring glance from the interior design world. But those particular items are just the tip of the iceberg as the whole shop is filled with desirable gift goodies ranging from locally-made crocheted hair accessories to striking paisley skull- print cushions (perfect for the teenager’s bedroom). We rather like the posh tea towels (featuring a London theme or stylish illustrations of giant carrots or beetroot) and for any cat-loving giftees you may have, there’s a fun range of feline items which hit the spot purrfectly. Owner Rebecca Leathlean recommends the fantastic Paella Kits (perfect for your Domestic God to show off with) whilst their selection of Spanish food items, in all their beautiful and very un-British packaging, is a joy to behold. For the last four years, Rebecca has imported a range of pretty Spanish ceramics too from suppliers in Andalucia and Cordoba: these beautifully hand-crafted wares, often quite delicate, are sure to appeal to those looking for something definitely not-on-thehigh-street this Christmas.

It’s impossible not to love this friendly deli, so welcoming is its bright exterior and defiant bunting flapping in the breeze amidst the dreary traffic bustle of Norwood Road. Not only does it provide a cheerful oasis for a quick sit-down and a delicious Volcano coffee, it is jam-packed with a million things you’d like to have on your kitchen shelves this Christmas. In fact if you don’t fancy the supermarket queue this year, you can decide now (if you’re very, very quick) to order from them a tasty Copas free range turkey AND even buy all your veg and seasonal trimmings as the day approaches. We think that sounds rather lovely. An annual pre-Christmas trip to France will see owner Antonia Beamish returning laden with desirable festive French goodies including gorgeous chestnut puree (Puree de Marron), as well as a selection of those simple yet cool ‘paysanne’ kitchen utensils we Brits like to own. Other festive items that caught our fancy include loads of unusual stocking fillers (like a cute little packet of dairy-free chocolate buttons) and Smiley Miley Honey Bear Biscuits. Have a look at their website to suss out their weekly delivery from Blackheath butcher Guy Sparks too.

There aren’t many of us who don’t know someone who’s been bitten by the crafting bug in these recent make-do-and-mend times and we really really wish someone would open up a cute little haberdashery on the Triangle. Until then, we’ll continue to jump on the number 3 bus to Herne Hill where this lovely bijou knitting emporium sits opposite the station. As well as stocking vital sewing accessories, it’s kid-in-a-toyshop time for those who are nifty with the needles, as the shop is full of gorgeous yarns for knitting and crochet. You can browse through the wonderful shades and weights by much loved brand, Rowan, along with other labels including Debbie Bliss (her Baby Cashmerino is heavenly) and Louisa Harding. Less common wools, such as the wonderfully earthy-sounding Cornish Organic Wool (including dyed and undyed 4-ply) are stocked as well. There’s also a good selection of beautifullyillustrated knitting books and bits and bobs of vintage paraphernalia which all make fab gifts for crafty friends, plus an array of classes to sign up for, whether you’re a seasoned stitcher or you just fancy dipping a tentative toe in the water to see what all the fuss is about.

Perfect pressie : Encaustic tile trivet – every kitchen needs one!

Perfect pressie : Festive hamper full of tasty treats

Perfect pressie : Vintage Knits by Wendy – 20 Fabulous Vintage Patterns

Alhambra 148 Kirkdale, SE26 4BB 020 3417 6385 www.alhambrahome.co.uk

Beamish & McGlue 461 Norwood Road, SE27 9DQ 0208 761 8099 www.beamishandmcglue.com

Sharp Works 220 Railton Road, SE24 0JT 020 7738 7668 www.sharpworks.co.uk

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FREE

THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON

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ISSUE 7 AUG 2009

ISSUE 4 FEB 2009

ISSUE 9 DEC 2009

THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON www.thetransmitter.co.uk

HAPPY BIRTHDAY US!

WHITE HOT

We celebrate our first birthday

Valentine’s Jewellery

NO AIR

Tales of scuba diving and girls in wet suits

SUMMER OF LOVE

We go back to the sixties

GOOD VIBRATIONS YOGA PILATES CYCLING BELLY DANCING

COOKING

The

with Celebrity MasterChef Winner Nadia Sawalha

VINTAGE issue

What lurks beneath the White Hart?

THE TRUTH IS DOWN THERE...

Ghost Stories!

Present Tense

Our Guide to Local Christmas Shopping

THE X-MAS FILES

DON'T MISS OUT!

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Alhambra Home & Garden

TO THE TRANSMITTER

Unique Christmas gifts for adults and kids

2 WAYS TO DO IT!

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BY POST: Send your name, address and a cheque for £15 to: The Transmitter, PO Box 53556, London SE19 2TL (Make cheques payable to Transmission Publications Ltd)

Special Christmas Shopping Evening on Friday 2 December, 6pm-9pm.

Enjoy some mulled sangria and tapas, plus festive reductions on stock.

148 Kirkdale London SE26 4BB Tel. 020-3417 6385 (local landline) www.alhambrahome.co.uk www.alhambratiles.co.uk

ONLINE: by credit/debit card at www.thetransmitter.co.uk click on 'Subscriptions'

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07/11/2011 16:21:34

Exclusive boutique costumiers Original Fancy Dress Authentic theatre costumes Historic and Vintage fashion Personal styling and fitting

We create any look Suppliers to: Film, TV, Photography, Theatre 40 years in the area Open for New Year Up to Sat 17th December Then Wed 28th to Sat 31st Dec

www.costumehirelondon.com 020 8699 1913 High Street Buildings, 134 Kirkdale, London, SE26 4BB

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this is your life...

Susie Doyle VISITS Bryher Scudamore WHO WANTS TO TURN YOUR LIFE INTO A BOOK

The late Steve Jobs, whose biography has just hit the shelves, said that his decision to hire a biographer was, in part, because he wanted his children to know him better. Walter Isaacson, Jobs’ biographer report Steve as saying, 'I wasn't always there for them and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.'

Unsurprisingly, pre-orders alone made the book a number one bestseller on Amazon.

I

t’s ironic, and we all know it, that the time of year when we pause to celebrate love and peace often turns into a mad, stress-infused dash to buy gifts which may only be worth the price they will fetch on Ebay.

Whatever your views on the point of Christmas and how it should be celebrated, the best times, surely, are those where you enjoy being with people you love. And that, in a way, is also the best gift; more time with people you love.

Bryher Scudamore, former Editor-in-Chief of BBC Online, has spent the last 12 years creating a way for people to give just that. Autodotbiography. com is her website where, by following a specially designed process, users are helped to write their autobiographies as a gift for their loved ones. After

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paying a registration fee of £250 you then answer a series of questions about your life and can upload photos. Your story will then be compiled and formatted into a beautiful hardback book.

Bryher developed the idea after she lost her mother, who died very suddenly of a heart attack.

Speaking about the process following her death, Bryher says, 'My mother was my best friend.

I thought I knew everything about her. But as I went through her papers I kept making new discoveries about her. I knew she’d painted, but there were pictures she’d done that I’d never seen. I knew she’d been married before she met my father and I found a picture of her first wedding day – but what was the rest of the story? There were so many experiences I wished I’d been able to ask her about.'

Of course, we’re not all Steve Jobs. And most people’s autobiographies do not make the bestsellers list. Our lives may be less glamorous, and our minds less innovative, but our stories are still deeply relevant.

There are still many things we’d like to tell our children.

We can all (unless you’re super - and scarily - organised) remember standing on a sludgy Oxford Street, blindly forcing our eyes to scud across the shelves in the hope that inspiration will hit with the force of Santa’s sledge. Overwhelmed by endless choices, the pressure to give meaningful, long-lasting gifts that people actually want can leave you feeling lost. Or desperately grabbing a 3 for 2. Perhaps this year, it can be different.

For more information, go to www.autodotbiography.com

Catrin arwel PhotograPhy • Children’s portraits • Family portraits • Birthday party dress-up shoots Capture these special moments before they grow up! www.catrinarwelphotography.com 07866 717442 catrinarwelphotography@yahoo.co.uk

Give in to the Dorkside!

Katie Lee, editor of www.DorkAdore.com, reveals what the geeks will be putting on their virtual wish list this Christmas

Misfits Series 1 & 2, Being Human Series 1–3 box sets £10.99-£17.99 play.com If there’s one thing the nerds love, it’s a good box set marathon. This winter, two brilliant British shows are out on box-set, complete with all those juicy making-of documentaries and delicious commentaries we like to geek out over.

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La Sardina Camera From £49 uk.shop.lomography.com Lomo film cameras couldn’t be less techy, but the retro shots they produce and the kooky camera designs get the nerds all a-froth. The La Sardina range are designed to look like sardine tins. Alternatively, if you’d rather just stick with Instagrams on your iPhone, check out stickygram.com, which will turn your shots into fancy fridge magnets.

Angry Birds Knock on Wood game £19.99

Kobo eReader Touch £109.99 whsmith.co.uk

firebox.com

Smiths has been marketing the Kobo like crazy of late (as you may have noticed). It’s a great alternative to an Amazon Kindle, not least because it doesn’t tie you into the Amazon store. But, the fact that the back of it looks like granny’s quilted lavender bedspread gives it that added appeal.

Everyone’s played the Angry Birds computer game, and this real life version of the puzzler is a great way to while away those lazy Xmas hours. Crossbows and Catapults, but with exploding birds? Perfect.

stitch london by Lauren O’Farrell £14.99 Bookseller Crow & whodunnknit.com London wouldn’t be the same without the massive Stitch London crafting community and their muchneeded Graffiti Knitting antics. This book is written by founder Lauren O’Farrell, and contains the patterns to 20 London-centric designs. Coming with all the wool and materials you need to make a cheerful pigeon, this book is perfect for the purler kings or queens in your life.

Giles Deacon LG 3D glasses £27.99 selfridges.com

Lego Head Storage Boxes £15.99 small £21.49 Large

Designer 3D glasses! Totally surplus to requirements, but Mr D gets bonus points for basing the fuzzy pattern on TV interference. Besides, it’s nice to make an effort with your looks if you’re planning on sitting at home watching 3D box sets or heading out to sit in a dark cinema.

firebox.com All good geeks love a bit of Lego, and what could be better than your own collection of severed giant Lego heads in which to store your toys?

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PAINTING CANADA

Landscape painting separated the men from the boys, says Howard Male as he revels in this stunning exhibition at the Dulwich Picture Gallery

F H Varley - Stormy Weather

W

e all like a nice landscape painting don’t we? Whether it’s because the painting reminds us of somewhere we once visited, or suggests somewhere we’d like to visit. Even if you have little interest in art you may have a tasteful scene hanging above the mantelpiece. And there lies the problem. We have acquired a stock set of responses to the kind of cliché-ridden landscapes that a billion Sunday daubers are happy to provide us with: follow the predictably winding path up into the shady woodland; swoon at the tangerine sun sinking behind the bosom-soft hills; wish you were sat before the log fire hinted at by

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the glow from the window of the generic thatched cottage. Such is the nice landscape in all its stultifying predictability.

But of course real landscape painting is something else altogether, as this stunning show of early 20th-century Canadian artists amply illustrates.

In my opinion, the landscape is the hardest genre to get right. Unlike still life or portraiture, the artist is dwarfed or even engulfed by their subject matter. A humble bowl of fruit or a fellow human’s head and shoulders sit comfortably within the verticals and horizontals of your average picture frame, but how to capture that which is all around

you? But in real landscape painting - painted in order to take your breath away rather than simply be a decorative element in a room – the challenges are multitudinous.

How to capture the infinite horizon or the huge swell of the sky? How to suggest Man dwarfed by Nature, Man taming Nature, Man finding in Nature a means to express inner turmoil or spiritual transcendence, or Man simply realising that the shadow cast by a tree trunk can be cobalt blue rather than dark grey? And that’s before the artist has even considered trying to convey the nuances of time of day, type of light, temperature, weather conditions and so on.

Tom Thomas - Winter Thaw in the Woods 1917 Amongst the great artists of the 19th and 20th century who fearlessly took on the metaphors and metaphysics of the great outdoors were Friedrich, Turner, Van Gogh, Bonnard, Gauguin, Cezanne, Munch, Tom Thomson… You’ve not heard of Tom Thomson? Well, neither had I. But it’s probably because you’re not Canadian. Because Canadians think of him as their Van Gogh, or Turner, or Cezanne: with very good reason on the strength of the works on display in this exhibition.

Yes, Thomson was still stylistically finding his feet before his tragic and mysterious death (which has been written about by Canadian

conspiracy theorists with the same fervour that Americans apply to Monroe or Kennedy), so you can see the influence of Seurat in one work, Japanese prints in another. But what shines through - particularly in the three-hundred small oil sketches he produced in a short five-year period - is his sheer brilliance with a brush and eye for the perfect tonal value.

Take one such oil sketch Winter Thaw in the Woods (1917). A nothing subject (some young birches poking through an otherwise featureless bank of snow) is turned into a bravura display of technique which – despite its modest proportions does what all great painting does:

it magically coexists as both an accurate transcription of the scene the artist observed, and the deft, thickly textured marks made by the fleeting passage of a brush depending on your distance from the work, or how much you blur your eyes. So, yes, Thomson is a painter’s painter but he was also a country’s painter, in that – to this day – he is seen as one of Canada’s national heroes.

But this exhibition isn’t all about Thomson. Three years after his death in 1917, his artist friends formalised their shared ambition to make a new art out of the vastness and splendour of the Canadian

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J. E. H. MacDonald’ - Falls, Montreal River landscape by calling themselves the Group of Seven. At the beginning of the 20th-century Canada – one of the largest countries in the world – had approximately the same total population as London today. So there was a hell of a lot of remote wilderness to be both explored and painted. Every member of the Group of Seven is well represented in the show, but I shall focus on just three works by three of these artists.

Frederick Horsman Varley’s Stormy Weather (1920) stopped me in my tracks. It’s a large, sombre work depicting a solitary pine tree doing battle with the elements. The canvas is suffused with the energy of the storm, the clouds racing from east to west across the sky, and the tree itself straining and bending, exuding an almost human sense of suffering.

Yet despite the high drama of the scene, the rendering is still wholly naturalistic and all the more powerful for it. But what’s particularly thrilling about this exhibition is the fact that many of the works are juxtaposed to the rougher, more immediate oil

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sketch that inspired them. Varley’s sketch of Stormy Weather is even more visceral and agitated than the finished work, bringing to mind later 20th-century revellers in paint such as Frank Auerbach.

In dramatic contract to Stormy Weather, J. E. H. MacDonald’s Falls, Montreal River of the same year, is seemingly suffused with every colour at the artist’s disposal. While the influence of Bonnard seems more than likely (all these artists were clearly steeped in the work of both the Impressionists and Post Impressionists), MacDonald’s aims were very different. Bonnard made landscapes that were warm, intimate and consoling. Here, MacDonald has gone for spectacle and turbulence in a painting that’s like a Mahler symphony.

The only pictures that disappointed were in the final room. Despite the curator’s best efforts to light them more dramatically than anything else in the show - perhaps to try to imbue them with a sombrely spiritual Rothko-like presence - Lawren

Harris’s coolly formal North Pole paintings fall flat because they lack the very sense of scale and grandeur they were aiming for. The more Harris made geometric these enormous chunks of ice in an attempt to both suggest the notion of God’s designing hand and his own unique subjective re-imagining of Nature, the less successful these works are. The end results are like James T Kirk-era Star Trek sets; all weightless polystyrene make-believe rather than monolithic glacial splendour. It speaks volumes that Harris later moved on to pure abstraction. Perhaps it was his way of admitting that Nature had beaten him.

For landscape was and still is the ultimate challenge for the serious artist. And I’ve never seen that battle played out in so many different ways, with such vigour and focus, as in this surprise of an exhibition. So if you need a break from the Christmas shopping why not spend an hour or so in the Canadian outback? You may never look at the watercolour daubs of the average Sunday painter in the same light again.

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O

n the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Hair & Make-up Lucy Young Photography Andy Pontin Post production by Tom Abbott, Karen Helle & Andy Pontin All the stockists featured are on Crystal palace Triangle SE19

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Christmas Cupcakes Soulcialize (from ÂŁ3 each)

Personal Trainer Mathilde meditates: to scoff or not to scoff ?

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Knitted Toys Julie’s Handmade World (£3-£19.50)

Efisio! No! Not the family of woolly mice!

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Painted Nails Lucy Young

It’s a Handmade World at Julie’s

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Dainty Teacups Haynes Lane Market (from £4.50)

Wot you lookin’ at, White Hart Jake?

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Funky lights Smash BangWallop (from £30-£70)

Noreen: Queen of the Crystal Palace Festival

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7 Boxes of Mince Pies Blackbird Bakery (Box of 6 mince pies ÂŁ2.95)

Hey Wojtek! Wesolych Swiat and a Popiel New Year!

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Pretty Bike Bags Blue Door Bicycles & Popiel Cycles (£30-£69)

Comfort & Joy’s Andrea, Queen of the Panniers!

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Vintage Shirts Crazy Man Crazy (£20-£45)

Our Manish has such Good Taste ...

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Retro Chairs Belle Coco and Do South (ÂŁ90-ÂŁ850)

Once upon a time there lived a librarian called Fiona ...

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Lancashire Bombs Good Taste Food & Drink (ÂŁ9.95 each)

Fromage Anglais? Et pourquoi pas, Fabrice?

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Handmade Hats Vintagehart (from ÂŁ40)

Hats off to Urban Orient Chloe!

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Retro Spacehopper Glitter & Twisted (ÂŁ16.50)

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Bouncing bookbinder from Rook’s Books. Go Gavin!

MISERY BEAR

WE PUT LOCAL RESIDENT MISERY BEAR UNDER THE GRILL

When were you happiest?

When I thought I’d won the lottery. Turns out I hadn’t.

What is your greatest fear?

Lots of wolves breaking into my house when I’m asleep. Oh, and dying alone.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Who would play you in the film of your life?

I said ‘I love you’ to a lady and she laughed in my face.

I quite like Ben Kingsley.

What is your most treasured possession?

What is your earliest

My tie. Actually, no, it’s my Xbox 360.

memory?

Where would you like to live?

Spilling a pan of hot water onto my paws.

Canada seems nice.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?

Jessica Alba because she is very pretty.

What would your superpower be?

Growing taller and staying that way. I’d also like claws.

What makes you unhappy?

How much time do you have?

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My tail. It just, I don’t know... it just looks weird.

What is your most unappealing habit?

I burp way too often.

What is your favourite smell?

Freshly-cut grass. And bourbon.

Misery Bear can be found loitering around Crystal Palace and also at www.miserybear.com Signed copies of Misery Bear's Guide to Love and Heartbreak available from The Bookseller Crow

Photo: Nat Saunders

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What is your favourite word?

What do you owe your parents?

If you could go back in time, where would you go?

About £5,600. But they disowned me so it’s OK.

Last Tuesday. I left my phone in a pub.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

How do you relax?

Batman.

Kylie Minogue. I was VERY drunk.

What is the worst thing anyone's said to you?

What does love feel like?

What song would you like played at your funeral?

Deliquesce. It means ‘to disappear, by melting away’. I do that a lot in social situations.

A producer at the BBC called me a ****ing ****head once.

A large needle slowly being pushed into your chest.

What is your guiltiest

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

pleasure?

‘Screw You’.

Drinking gin in the bath.

Holding my breath underwater.

I’ve compiled a funeral playlist on Spotify. It’s seven hours long. Lots of Elliott Smith.

How would you like to be remembered?

As the bear who tried. And succeeded. Fat chance.

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THE HAT A short story by Justine Crow Photos: Connie May

M

arcella took her dog to the upper right hand side of the park where the twin sphinxes, oblivious to their reduced circumstances, still keep a regal eye on the landscape beneath the steel tower, guarding a dominion where stone steps lead to nothing but a despotic cauldron of evergreen and wire. Marcella had been told by a ranger that this was where the “north transept” once stood. Such a grand architectural term for something so hard to picture but it was a fascinating notion nonetheless, that Gladys, piggy scruff of a pet, got her exercise in the grounds of an apparently once magnificent palace.

Gladys preferred it here because there were fewer big dogs to spook her. She had the chance to test her Jack Russell genes and follow rat trails untroubled by the overcompetitive pedigrees with vast paws and inferior olfactory skills that blundered about on the lower levels. She shot off leaving Marcella to scramble up in the icy wake where the lee of the tower had kept the frost fresh all day.

Marcella was idling over the view of distant green fields when she realised Gladys had gone ahead through the gap onto the lane; more than once she’d been to the campsite to rescue tourists from the extra lunch guest foraging around their fold-out table. But there would be no scraps at this time of year and sure enough, as Marcella got through the yaw of hedge, Gladys came clattering back in her direction.

She called, patting her knees, but Gladys had been diverted under the wire that surrounded the ruins next to the tower that the same smitten ranger had explained were the remains of the ‘largest fish house’ in Europe.

Gladys was hoping for a catch of something exotic no doubt, a phantom darting in the green waters of an aquarium lost to indifference, even in its heyday.

Dusk was close so Marcella returned through the gap again. She waited, then called, then hands in pockets, trudged back up the incline past the inscrutable statues and listened. Nearby, there was silence – no scrabbling undergrowth, no galloping toenails on spent asphalt, no urgent breath. Puzzled, she slowly turned to her right and saw Gladys ten feet from her on the path transfixed and upright, balancing on her hind legs, paws begging the cold air.

“This way ladies, this way over the hay! Roll up and mind where you step, for the finest Winter show since the last Winter show! Hurry now, our seasonal spectacle is about to commence!”

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Dan was making his way under the glorious twist of Victorian railway bridge on Thicket Road, with a bag of shopping in each fist and an aching desire to get home to the warm where Tess was waiting with the children. In the distance, overlapping the traffic, there was the festive thump of a snare drum and cymbals. He didn’t recall having seen the circus arrive up on the Parade – they hadn’t been for a long while – but the triumphant march of brass was unmistakeable and he allowed himself to indulge in the diaspora of notes, deciding that he must take the two boys now they were old enough.

Somewhere out there on a scrubby island the dinosaurs were waiting. Consumed by thoughts of his playful sons, he found himself peering through the railings for shapes, like the boys did. Sure enough, he could just about make out one prehistoric contour on the shoreline, a hulk so realistically probing the water, it might have been bewitched. Then suddenly a train burst onto the bridge and Dan nearly fell over with the shock, dropping both bags, breaking the eggs. And the spell.

“Ladies and gentleman, have we got a show for you tonight! Acrobats from the Orient, death-defying trapeze from the Steppe, living wonders from all four corners of Empire! Entertainment the like of which you will not see again in your lifetime, I guarantee!” - “Until,” pipes up a thinly jowled clown in a tricolour ruff who has materialised at his side, “the grand firework display tomorrow!” And the audience obscured by the evenly spaced phosphorus halos laugh and laugh as the ringmaster boxes Crayonne’s ears.

Two stop-go boards were abandoned on Penge High Street, spinning slowly to a halt on their concrete bases while the dwindling evening traffic was left to resolve itself as the jaunty pomp of brass drifted on the breeze.

By the time they’d reached the swing doors to the Goldsmiths, Larry and Craig understood they would never, ever discuss why or how they ran so fast in their council boots.

It is a sell-out, Maurice winks to Alf, a very little man with a broom. That bloke in the London News must have did the trick Morris, Alf replies. Must have did, confirms Maurice before smoothing his jodhpurs, repositioning the top hat on his head and striding back out into the splendid limelight.

Nothing scared Mr Halliday. Here in the cemetery at Elmers End he’d witnessed many terrors real and sometimes, imagined. And that bellowing breath most certainly wasn’t a tram rushing through Birkbeck. As

meticulous as always, he went back through the gates toward the right where the famous cricketer was buried - there would be nobody locked in on his watch, apart from those who had no choice, of course. Then by the sapper he spied it. Ten feet high or more to the shoulders, strolling first and then gathering pace through the mossy pathways that bisected the rows, its tread delicate as if it knew it was among the dead. It paused, got wind of the empty space beyond that was once the old waterworks and is now a country park, and headed off softly to the left under the oak trees. Halliday felt for his phone but left it. “Definitely Asian,” he surmised absently before blipping the locks on his car.

“But first, a wondrous sight. A wild beast tamed. Not just tamed but CIVILISED!” “Which is more than we can say about you lot,” heckles Crayonne and Maurice the ringmaster casts his bullwhip expertly at the clown’s stockinged feet, striking an arc of sawdust which sends him backwards in the ring, falling inches from a heap of dung. The audience laugh vigorously at the supine clown, wiping their eyes but then they strain to see what is happening behind the open brocaded tent flap where there is a tantalising commotion against the backdrop of palatial glazed panels and archway and night sky. Meanwhile in hope, the band strikes up Where Did You Get that Hat, Where Did You Get That Hat?

As Don drove his scooter up along the shadowy avenue of trees to deliver the takeaway order to Bethlem Royal hospital, he knew instantly what the ambling backside was, all near eight thousand pounds of it, as it navigated the dark road ahead. He thumbed the indicator, picking out in yellow flashes the great grey haunches and contented tail. Don turned right. He would say nothing to the nurses when he handed over the cartons and waited for his change. Bethlem is a beautiful place but he wouldn’t want to stay there.

“What do you mean, he WON’T come?” seethes the ringmaster holding the flap closed behind his back while the audience are obediently distracted by the white mares galloping around the big empty crimson plinth decorated with cloth stars, in a vortex of equine sweat.

On each unsaddled back stands a smiling barefoot girl.

The ringmaster hisses to Crayonne, “Get out there!” and somehow the clown locates the only riderless steed and is on its back in a second, making the crowds roar as he slips under its belly to ride it upside down.

Then the ringmaster turns to Ebzo, thrusts his gloved hand around the high collar of his glittering Punjabi suit and pulls him so close that their moustaches are touching. “Get that flaming elephant OUT THERE…” Ebzo’s turban remains indignant though unsteady: “I beat him sir, I beat the savage dog meat from here to Kathmandu. Indeed until my rod broke in two. He knows

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aside to allow the enormous bull elephant through.. But it is only diminutive Alf that appears under the flap.

“He’s kilt him, Morris..” he whimpers. The audience aren’t quite sure what they hear. The ringmaster regards them conspiratorially, eyes bright with amusement. “What’s that Alf?” Alf fights to release his words at a whisper: “Charlie picked ‘im up in his trunk and threw him down sir. And then kicked him dead. His Excellency is murdered by his own elephant. God save the King ..”

Maurice hesitates, winks to crowd who are now baying for entertainment, signals to the band for a drum-roll and cries: “Ravenous, barbarous, incredible…” his enunciated superlatives buying time. “Direct from the Savannah itself, after weeks chained starving in the hold of a rolling liner – and that’s just poor Frank, haha - I present the masterful Lord Kerrick and his Fearsome Pride!”

Outside there is a small gang of people gathered around the glittering corpse of Ebzo. Amidst balloons of breath there is blood in the sawdust and a smashed broom.

The strongman kneels to lift his broken colleague but the ringmaster pulls him back. Instead, he is allowed to retrieve the fallen turban and the giant satin jester’s hat that was tossed from Charlie’s head when he finally knew he’d had enough. He hands them sadly to Maurice, who throws them out of sight.

“Get my gun,” says the ringmaster.

he’s finished. After tonight, he’ll not be playing at the Palace again.”

“Most certainly,” sneers the ringmaster, retracting his hand derisively, his top hat resolute. “And neither will you. Send for the lions, Alf…” he growls.

Ebzo is appalled by the thought of that milksop Francis Kerrick in a safari suit and those drugged, toothless hearth rugs supplanting his Excellency Ebzo the Elephanteer. “Give me one more chance sir, I’ll get Charlie under the top if it’s the last thing I do, so help me,” and he snatches Alf’s broom.

A night mist rose off Hayes Common, shrouding the flint cottages and bus shelter so that only the rooftops were visible lit by a smudge of halogen. Denise switched on her fog lights and answered a call from the controller in Bromley, steering with one hand: “Yep. On my way back. Be ten.” And then she slammed on the brakes as a magnificent beast deftly vaulted her bonnet and was swallowed by teeming white mist on her off side.

The horses slow to a canter and each performs a pirouette before reeling off, the final frenzied applause reserved for Crayonne as he slaps his pony hard on the rump, sending the animal away squealing. The band slows its pace to brushes. Maurice whistles for Ebzo through the curtain. High up in the pinnacle of the big top, a small Siberian teenager is unfurling from a swing.

There’s a sudden clash of cymbals, a gasp from the crowd and ecstatic clapping as the child emerges on the ground unscathed. The band strikes up the hat song again and Maurice snaps his whip, extravagantly stepping

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It was Saturday morning and Jeremy was early for football training. Alone in his Cobras shirt, he practised kick-ups while the mist loitered stubbornly at the edge of the trees. It was slippery and he would have to be careful.

Holding the ball aloft on his toe, he found himself focussing on the round patches beyond that traversed the pitch, where the ice had dissolved leaving stepping stones of grass. The ball still poised on his laces, his curiosity tracked the circles the size of hub caps as they crossed the clearing in pairs, until finally his eyes met those of a fully grown elephant grazing in the rough.

Charlie observes the small striped human placidly. The cold does not bother him. Then, deciding he prefers to linger in the exquisite moment of freedom before the inevitable searing heat of gunshot puts an end to it all, he swings his fantastic bulk away and vanishes to graze elsewhere upstream of events.

Jeremy shivered, ball frozen to his raised right foot. As the rest of the team bounced into view, the apparition on the edge of the field melted into the woods. He lowered his foot. The footprints had melted away too and the pitch was magically resealed with a pristine frost.

He flipped the ball upwards and caught it on his other boot. He wouldn’t mention what he saw to his friends in black and red but had he been brave enough to tell, he might have discovered that secretly others had seen Charlie in the mist too. In fact, in winter when it is arid with insistent frost, sometimes accompanied by a drift of music, from the foundations of Crystal Palace through Beckenham to Barnet Wood, his flight is witnessed by many. But, admitted to by few.

Justine Crow

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SEASONAL YET SIMPLE WINDOW DRESSING FROM SUE WILLIAMS

Lo, How a rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung! of Jesse's lineage coming, as those of old have sung.

It came, a floweret bright, amid the cold of night,

Norwood is more than ready for a spot of classy outdoor decor

when half spent was the night.

(German poem 15th Century )

There are some magical plants which bloom in the dead of winter ... the Lenten Rose, Cyclamen, Skimmia. They are often overlooked in the December border as we stay hunkered down indoors, planning the Christmas feast. Outside on the windowsill languish the winter pansies and coloured Heathers which are the mainstay of most window boxes at this time of year.

It's time for a change ... Norwood is more than ready for a spot of classy outdoor decor. Walking round Wandsworth a couple of weeks ago there was hardly a house of a certain age that wasn't adorned with topiaried evergreen shrubs in its windows and doors. And very smart they looked too.

Christmas is the perfect time to dress up the outside of the home.

The beauty of the plants which feature this month is that, come the spring, they can be transferred to the garden proper rather than being thrown on the compost heap.

The plants will probably be a tad more costly than a tray of annuals

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but will repay the initial investment many times over. All that's needed is a window box which ideally extends along the whole width of the window, a bag of organic or similar John Innes potting compost and the plants. I don't really recommend the peat-based multi purpose compost so beloved of the large garden outlets as it lacks body and in a dry spell turns into friable sawdust. The Secret Garden has all the necessaries for a spot of window dressing.

Helleborus niger (or the Lenten Rose) is not really a pot plant but will perform admirably in the window in the dark short winter days if transferred into the ground during the spring. It is an ancient plant which is mentioned in Greek and Roman literature. Its name comes from an old tale that the Christmas Rose sprouted out of the snow from the tears of a young girl who had no gift for the Christ child in Bethlehem. Over the centuries its extracts have been used in medicine although the roots are supposedly poisonous if consumed in goodly

quantities ... not recommended.

It's the same with foxgloves, but who in their right mind tucks into a large helping of foxglove foliage?

The Hellebore has unexceptional leathery leaves but the flowers are stunning. Large flat white flowers are borne on short thick stems and these often turn a deep reddy-pink as they mature. It is a wonderful plant, all the more so for its flowering in the depths of winter.

Skimmia is a common shrub in the mixed border and can look a tad dowdy in the wrong setting; as a Christmas plant, however, it can look really effective. The leaves are glossy and evergreen and some varieties have red or white margins. This shrub is dioecious which means that both a male and female plant are required for the Skimmia to produce fruit. The plant carries red or limey-green blossoms which are often scented and turn into brilliant red berries. I've used Skimmia in my window boxes for many Christmases past and their rich green and red colouring looks very festive.

As a backdrop to a winter window box it is hard to beat Box or Buxus sempervirens. When closely planted this densely-foliaged shrub provides a dramatic foil for flowering plants such as the hardy Cyclamen or Cyclamen hederifolium. This is not the houseplant which droops dejectedly on many front room sideboards but the tough outdoor variety. Its delicate flowers belie its hardy nature and it thrives well under trees and large shrubs when planted out. The Cyclamen coum ‘Album’ has a Christmassy feel with

its dark green heart-shaped foliage and delicate white flowers and looks wonderful if teamed up in a solid block of colour with the Box. For a less formal feel in the windows Ivy is a good doer. Also Rosemary and Bay provide scented evergreen colour. Really any plant which captures your imagination can go in the window box over the winter and then be planted out in spring. So out with the Heathers and in with a touch of something truly festive.

Happy potting

cheers for the beers MY DEARS Manish Utton-Mishra ON The evolution of a British institution

Beer: An alcoholic drink made from yeast-fermented malt flavoured with hops (Oxford English Dictionary) Beer is as old as civilisation itself. Beer residues have been found in vessels from the earliest settlements dating back eight to ten thousand years ago, when humans discovered a new way of farming that allowed them to become non-nomadic and settle in villages and towns: systematic husbandry of animals and, crucially, plants. I like to think that beer was the essential lubricant that allowed people to settle down with each other, it is after all the third most consumed drink in the world, after water and tea!

dimension meant that in many societies the use of alcohol was tightly controlled. The Romans are famous for their enjoyment of wine, but it only flowed freely for those in power.

When the Romans reached Britain they found brewing was as established here as on the rest of the continent, though we favoured mead and cider rather than beer. It wasn’t until the Germanic Angles and Saxons began to colonise Britain that we learnt what proper brewing is all about.

travellers to rest for the night and the farmer’s wife would have provided some food and drink (for it was the farmer’s wife who brewed with any leftover harvest, whether it be barley or wheat for example).

At some point someone realised that they could charge for this service and hence the ‘ale house’ was born. It wasn’t until around the 17th century that the Church and its male rulers took over brewing in order to control the process and distribution to the public!

Eventually, it was decreed that a sheaf of the main crop used to brew was placed above the door to help travellers find an ale house.

These were the signs that eventually became the standard pub signs we know today.

So, the Farmer’s Wife, I raise a festive pint to you for having created one of my favourite places in the world, The Pub. Try some of the very best ales at: The Grape and Grain, 2 Anerley Hill, - and for off-sales: Good Taste Food and Drink, 28 Westow Hill.

Once alcohol was on the scene, it seems to have quickly replaced most other drugs in settled societies. As we didn’t have a clue about yeasts and how alcohol was created, the state of inebriation was regarded a divine experience. This spiritual

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The Romans brought with them drinking establishments, the ‘tabernas’, but where does our most famous institution, the pub, come from?

Up until a thousand or so years ago farmhouses would allow

South East London CAMRA Pub of the Year 2011

The Grape & Grain Wednesday 14th December 7pm

Crystal Palace Brass Band present an Evening of festive music Saturday 24th December 9pm

The Sax Pastilles Stomping Christmas Swingalong Saturday 31st December 8pm

The Paul Partridge New Years Eve Partaaay The very best of cheese, like Dairylea on a disc!

2 Anerley Hill, Crystal Palace SE19 2AA 020 8778 4109 www.thegrapeandgrainse19.co.uk

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ADVERTISING FEATURE

WESTOW HOUSE

OLIVIA STAVES GOES TO Westow House and meets THE NEW chef

W

estow House has been a Transmitter favourite food haunt for some time now, having sampled their fish & chips and burgers on numerous occasions. However, on finding out that their new head chef was from the Gordon Ramsay stable, our taste buds were sent into overdrive.

Justin, the landlord who has done so much to turn the place into the great local that it is, invited us to promote their goings on and try some of the new menu. As he even offered to cross our palms with silver and throw in a free lunch, 'Ed' decided that I should be duly dispatched to investigate. So I headed down to dine midweek and had a chat with the new head chef, Neville Defoe (right), who has been a Crystal Palace resident for 10 years.

Formerly of Gordon Ramsay’s Maze and the two Michelin-starred The Square restaurant in Mayfair,

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Neville explained that he’s intent on bringing predominantly locallysourced seasonal produce to the menu, which he describes as fluid with at least one change each day.

He ensures that all of the vegetables travel from no further away than Kent, and that fresh meat and fish are delivered daily. His slant is classic British with European touches.

Taking care to retain the Westow House ethos of informal drinking and dining in a laidback living room stylie, the usual suspects of burgers and sausage & mash remain on the menu but Neville has stepped it up a level by adding in oysters and duck liver parfait for example.

He’s also an advocate of nose-totail eating, making use of the entire animal by creating his own pâtés.

He’s even added in the option to select your own cut for your Sunday roast. Don’t think that the vegetarians amongst us are being

left out though, there’s always an option to suit on the menu and there’s a veggie roast every Sunday.

The lunch and dinner menus are the same and the kitchen now stays open until 9pm on Sundays.

For those of you who like your cask ales, as we do in our household, you’ll be pleased to know that Westow House now has an everchanging selection of brews. With names such as Blindmans Mine beer, Gulp, Mad Goose Purity pale ale and Battleaxe, I’m sure they’ll have something to tickle your taste buds. Plus as a nice finishing touch they’re all served in traditional dimpled pint tankards.

On this occasion I went for a mellow Chilean cabernet sauvignon, while the other half went for a pint of the wonderfully named Gulp, which was (apparently) light but flavoursome.

I decided to order a starter. The

grilled baby vegetable salad with pesto, roasted pumpkin seeds, pea shoots and parmesan glistened with just the right amount of olive oil and tasted fresh and vibrant.

The main courses took some deliberation, I admit mainly on my part. The menu almost had me at the outset with the risotto with golden beetroot, rosary goats cheese, chives and hazelnuts jumping out at me.

I pondered the Cumberland sausage with buttered mash, purple sprouting broccoli and red wine jus but in the end I plumped for the seared organic salmon with pepanatta , basil shoots and sun dried tomatoes with a side of dauphinoise potatoes for good measure. I wasn’t disappointed.

It always comes down to a toss up between the burger and the steak for the other half, as he likes to compare the latest offering with any previous versions on the theme. He ended up going for the Irish long horn sirloin steak which came with a green salad, mushrooms, tomato and triple cooked chips, which by all accounts was very tasty indeed.

We couldn’t possibly have left without at least perusing the dessert menu and to be honest my two courses were light enough to warrant a morsel more.

I was, as ever, drawn to the treacle tart with milk ice-cream, but was intrigued enough by the poached Kentish pear with lemon cream

cheese & almond crumble to give it a whirl. And glad I was. Being what I’d call a deconstructed cheesecake, the pear melted in my mouth wonderfully.

The other half, for once, bypassed the ice-creams and had vanilla crème brûlée with cinnamon sugar and rhubarb compote, which provoked substantial reminiscing about his mums’ stewed rhubarb and rice pudding, so it must have been good.

For those of you who like a bit of entertainment while you eat, drink and be merry, Westow House is now holding the bimonthly Palace Sessions, as mentioned in the last issue. The popular soul night will also be continuing into the new year, plus there’s the monthly funk night and live music coming up every Thursday during December.

By the way there’s also a mouthwatering Christmas menu on offer, with two courses from £12.

Westow House 79 Westow Hill Crystal Palace SE19 1TX www.westowhouse.com

Head Chef Neville Defoe

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crystal palace cookbook EDIBLE GIFTS ARE FANTASTIC FUN TO MAKE SAYS RACHEL DE THAMPLE Photos: Catrin Arwell

Chocolate

slabs

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Fill your kitchen full of that magical smell and warmth of Christmas, but make enough for yourself as well or you’ll end up nibbling the lot before they’re delivered

C

reate your own wacky Willy Wonka-style chocolate slabs They are fantastic fun and make a seriously impressive gift.

You can just melt the chocolate in a glass or metal bowl over a pot with a splash of boiling water in it and create your chocolate bars from there. But chocolate is a bit fussy sometimes so the finished bar won’t be quite as glossy or have a brilliant firm snap when you tuck into it.

To achieve this, you need to temper the chocolate. It’s rather easy and this is a cheat’s way of doing it.

Here’s what you need: Greaseproof paper 200g chocolate (so 2x100g bars of white, dark or milk chocolate)* A cooking thermometer Fun flavours and toppings (for some ideas see box right) Line a tray with greaseproof paper.

This is what you will pour your melted chocolate on to for your slabs.

Break or chop your chocolate into hunks. Place two thirds of the chocolate in a metal or glass bowl over a pan of simmering water (make sure the bowl rests above the water, not directly touching it).

Gently stir until just melted. Pop your cooking thermometer in the chocolate bowl and bring the temperature up to 48˚C. Then, take off the heat. Swirl in the remaining chocolate. The residual warmth should melt it. Let it cool to 25˚C.

Then, place it back over the pan of water and bring the temperature back up, but this time to 30˚C for white or milk chocolate, and 32˚C for dark chocolate.

If you want to add spices to your chocolate, swirl them in now.

You can also fold in some of your topping ingredients to give the finished slab more texture.

Spoon the tempered chocolate on to the greaseproof paper. Spread it to create a layer 1-2cm thick, or to your desired thickness. Scatter your toppings over the top. Pop in the fridge to set; it will take about 30mins. Cut or break, if you fancy, and pop into a kilner jar. Or, leave whole, wrap it up and secure it with a ribbon. *I normally go for Green & Black’s.

The quality and taste is fantastic and they’re normally on offer. Lindt or Sainsbury’s SO organic/fairtrade chocolates also deliver good results.

My favourite combos Milk chocolate with ginger biscuit crumbs: 200g milk chocolate + 2 crumbled ginger biscuits Dark chocolate with crushed candy cane: 200g dark chocolate + 3-4 tbsp crushed candy cane White chocolate with toasted cashews, cardamom and banana: 200g white chocolate + a large pinch of ground cardamom + 6 tbsp salted, toasted cashews + 3 tbsp chewy banana chips, roughly chopped

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Sweet & Salty

Nuts

T

hese things are seriously moreish. Cashews or pecans are the most delicious nuts to use but any will do, or try a combo. Perfect

with mulled wine or a festive ale.

INGREDIENTS: Prep: 5 mins Cook: 10 mins To fill one 340ml jam jar...

You need...

• • • •

About 340g nuts 1 ½ tbsp brown sugar 1 tbsp soy sauce A pinch of chilli powder

Fill your jar with nuts. If you want to use larger or smaller jars, just use a touch more or less sugar and soy sauce.

Pop a large frying pan over high heat. Add the nuts. Lower the heat a little. Cook until toasty, fragrant and starting to pick up a little colour.

Take off the heat. Add the sugar and soy while the pan and nuts are still hot. Mix it through to nicely coat the nuts. Add a pinch of chilli powder.

Taste. Add a little more sugar, soy or spice, as needed.

Let them cool fully. Pack into the jar.

Pop a lid on. They should keep well for a good month or so, but they never last that long.

DOMALI CAFÉ WINTER DEAL Available on Sunday and Monday evenings 6pm-10.30pm Get a free drink when you order from the blackboard Menu Choose from: A glass of House wine, a bottle of San Miguel Beer, Or ANY non-alcoholic drink.

Come pay us a visit Domali Café, 38 Westow St, SE19 3AH Tel 020 8768 0096 Open daily 9.30am-11pm

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INGREDIENTS: Prep: 30 mins Cook: less than 10 mins per batch Makes about two dozen • • • • • • • • • •

125g soft brown sugar 125g black treacle 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground ginger ¼ tsp ground cloves 100g butter 1 ½ tsp baking powder 500g plain flour pinch salt 1 egg, lightly beaten

Photo: Catrin Arwell

Gingerbread

Men

hese are a blast to make with children. It’s become a tradition in our house and this is my absolute favourite T recipe. They are also great for decorating the tree.

Preheat the oven to 170ËšC/Gas 3.

Dissolve the sugar, treacle, spices and butter in a pan over a low heat, then slowly bring to the boil. Let it bubble up for a minute.

Remove from heat. Cool to room temperature, then mix in the baking powder.

Place the flour in a bowl with the salt. Make a well in the middle and pour in the cooled syrupy mixture, then add the egg. Stir from the centre, incorporating the flour until it comes together to form your dough.

Egg sizes differ as does the amount of moisture flour holds; if you find the dough is dry or crumbly, add a little milk, a tablespoon at a time, until you get the dough to come together.

Gently knead, just enough to bring it all together.

Wrap in a plastic bag or greaseproof paper and rest it in the fridge for 30 mins or until needed (it will keep for a day, but will need to be set out for 30 mins if it’s been left in the fridge longer than 30 mins).

The dough also freezes beautifully.

Roll out the dough to thickness required: thicker will make the biscuits chewier, thinner more crunchy. Cut out shapes: classic gingerbread men, stars, candy canes, etc.

Use the pointy end of a chopstick to make holes for eyes and a few buttons, or decorate with currants, crystallised ginger, chocolate drops or whatever you fancy. Make a hole in the gingerbread man's head if you plan to put ribbon through to hang as a decoration.

Lay on non-stick baking sheets. They don't rise much so you can put them quite close but not touching. Bake for 7-10 mins; it can be hard to see when they're done as they're dark anyway but they shouldn't be very coloured round the edges. Take out and cool on wire rack. If you want to ice them wait until completely cold.

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THE paxton

JUSTINE CROW REPORTS ON THE LATEST PUB MAKEOVER Photos: Catrin Arwell

A

s I navigated Gipsy Hill roundabout in the bookshop float, I couldn’t help noticing that The Paxton was rising cleanly from the ashes of its previous incarnation and wondered if perhaps it might make a good venue for the daughter’s eighteenth. (Yes, I know.

I was very young when I had her.)

So, I suggested we take a look.

Said daughter’s mouth dropped open in the customary teenage semaphore for abject disbelief. Later she admitted she thought I meant the boozer on Anerley Hill, the one with the exciting story about being bombed. So I investigated alone. I was squinting at the shiny new menu

on the wall outside when a nice chap with a teacloth popped out to say they weren’t open yet. I raised the bag of kitty biscuits I was carrying: ‘I’m good, thanks,’ I said, slipping effortlessly into teenspeak. He wiped his hands and went back inside. (I don’t think I gave myself away.)

The menu contained a tempting melee of the traditional and the bizarre – a foot-long hotdog? And peering in through the window, it looked so very different to the last time we came when it was a gothic dolls house and we ate bloodied steak. No longer resembling a vampire’s parlour, the new mood reflects much of the character of the man after whom the establishment was originally named. Joseph Paxton was at heart a gardener and his pub now has the feel of a posh potting shed about it, where Ercol meets vintage schoolroom. Rather brilliantly, there is even a weather forecast for the week ahead chalked up. Enamel hooded lampshades with tasteful bench bulbs hang over a re-landscaped bar that jostles brassily with beers featuring animals like weasels and beavers, and there is a workmanlike jug of iced water and tumblers so that people can help themselves when they are wilting. Beyond the French windows there is decking, and green-lit palms.

We fussed like old people about where to sit so that we could have a good stare, and then got down to the serious business of deconstructing that menu I mentioned. Eschewing the usual convention of ‘starters’ and ‘mains’ etc, it just says FOOD on the top – no mucking about there then. And although there are the jolly items like the hotdog, there is plenty of the common or garden variety of upmarket pub grub including spicy lamb meatballs and steak & ale pie.

There is a good choice of fish and refreshingly, the numerous dishes that don’t feature fin or flesh aren’t patronisingly ghettoised to the latter

end of the page; they are scattered throughout the menu to be judged on their merits as proper dishes as opposed to merely the ‘vegetarian option’.

Roast pumpkin & white bean curry was tempting on a chilly evening with tired feet but I chose the slow roast lamb shepherd’s pie, while the bookseller did his usual chest beating over whether to have a burger or not.

The clever chef certainly knows his tubiferous roots – the piped pureed spud on my pie was delicious and the tender meat beneath, still simmering in wine and carrots, had just the right measure of gravy so that it complemented rather than swamped the top. Meanwhile, the side of broccoli arrived with a brazen knob of butter, no shame at all.

The bookseller had a stern word with his inner caveman. No burger this time. Instead, he bowed to his other passion and ate the sumptuously orange smoked haddock dahl with onion bhaji and bread. It was top notch, accompanied by an elegant modern carafe of white rioja.

Replete, I needed a stretch. And essentially, a nose around. While he got cross with the god of wi-fi, even joining the wiley puffers out front in

an attempt to tweet on a borrowed smoke signal, I was totting up the number of relatives I could fit into the generous space beyond. Well, if our first born is having a party, there is no way we can keep it a secret. My family is born to celebrate. It is what we do best. I could put all the aunts side-by-side on that row of theatre seats so they’d be close enough to the bar to yell out their orders without ever standing up; there’s lots of room for Uncle Colin to have fun with candles and flatulence, and for my dad to dance with any empty chair that will have him.

My fecund cousins are hatching eggs all the time so the couple of

unusually edible- looking items for kids will be welcomed, not to mention the discreet highchairs.

There’s crumble and ice-cream for pudding for those without teeth to suck on, and the pub even brews its own beer – there’s nothing like a self-righteous knees up and fall over, eh! Especially in such cultivated surroundings. Then again, perhaps a Pukka pie and a Premiership match on Anerley Hill would be the fairer option all round after all. At least then we’ll be able to go back and try that grand foot-long hotdog. A project that Paxton himself would approve of, I’m sure.

Justine Crow

Double Dip (both taramAsalata and humous) Drinking for Christmas OPINES MiCHAEL eyre

I won’t go on because it’s all too tedious.

We have once more that rather fab, if not somewhat frenetic, time ahead of us. What with all the hoo-ha going on about not being able to do this or that I think it is time that we settle down, in a mildly austere but somehow comforting fashion and have a look see at how we are going to struggle

Lindauer Special Reserve Brut. NV. 75cl. 11.5%vol. £12.95.

New Zealand

through one particular day in terms of totally tip top grog. Which could bleed out into any other day during this festive period. Obvs.

So, this time, being a tad directive in my play, we shall start in order as to how I think it should be done (not married to it, I hasten to add).

Avanti.

Domaine Loew. Riesling.

Bruderbach Clos des Freres. 2007.

75cl. 13%vol. £16.95.

Alsace

Like the sun glinting off the newly fallen snow as it refracts through your ice-covered window, you see the lovely pale straw gold through a mousse of fine soft bubbles which effervesces out delightful aromas of toasty biscuits with an edge of lemon sorbet. The palate is creamy and rich with a twist of tangy grapefruit thrown in for good measure. An elegant and complex little number that will have you out of bed in a trice. Mmm.

Here’s where we start thinking about food, as we take a long and lingering look at the deeply burnished gold of this wine. The nose is engulfed by a wave of spicy, candied citrus with an undertow of freshly baked bread leading effortlessly to a palate of rich soft fruits supported by a beautifully balanced level of acidity. The finish is long and unctuous making you cry out for more.

Food?

Food?

This would be all I would Krave.

As I said, you could just think about it, or this would be perfect with a brace of Arbroath Smokies for breakfast (we tend to do kedgeree round our way) or maybe, in an Eastern Bloc fashion, a spot of Kielbasa Limanowska with red peppers. Tip top.

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Dona Paula Estate Malbec 2009 75cl. 14.5%vol. £9.95 Argentina Well well well, here we go. One great big chunky piece of work here. With a colour of dark, newly slaughtered hanging pig’s blood, purple red we all know we’re in for a good time.

The nose is as it looks. Loads of dark soft fruits with an air of smoky wood and cassis about it. Very ‘burning woodman’s hut in the deep forest’.

The palate stays with the robust theme, heaving with dense, dark, black fruits supported by a structure of fine tannins, with a long and lingering black cherry finish this is a wine to be savoured in no uncertain fashion.

Food?

What’s to ponder? Anything big and red or some very robust vegetarian dish . Oh yass, oh yass, oh yass.

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Why not try our Special Set Lunch Menu for only £7.95 p/p?

Concha y Toro Late Harvest Sauvignon Blanc 2008.

37.5cl. 12%vol. £5.95 Chile ‘And finally folks’. A complete beauty of a sweety. A rich golden amber yellow in colour belying a nose of beguiling aromas of ripe tropical fruit, peach, papaya and honey sliding fluently onto a soft and fruity palate of honeyed fruit flavours held with consummate ease by good acidity and a level of light sweetness. An excellent, all embracing drink . Blood sugar levels are go!

E LES

A NEP

DIA

& IN

E

SIN

UI NC

Mon-Thurs: 12.00 noon to 11.30pm Fri-Sat: 12.00 noon to 12.00 midnight Sun: 12.00 noon to 11.00pm

Food?

Anything remotely puddingy or a raft of stonking great big cheeses.

Abyssinia.

Michael

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The Bookseller

Jonathan main picks some books without mentioning Christmas ONCE

T

he celebrated writer and comedian Mark Steel lives in Crystal Palace. If we didn’t know this already then the final lines from the biography at the front of his new book Mark Steel’s in Town (Fourth Estate £12.99) confirm this for us: ‘He lives in Crystal Palace with an assortment of people he is related to’. I mention this now so that when I get a little bit further into this review and tell you just how bloody brilliant his new book is you won’t rub your chin and say, but hang on doesn’t he live round here, he’s only saying that because they’re mates, I bet the book’s a bit shit really. Well it’s not and I’m not, and it’s not as though we haven’t served a well-known comedian or two in our time. When we opened the shop back in the dark ages, Charlie Drake was a customer. He used to approach the counter with a proper twinkle in his eye before enquiring of Justine, aw right my darling? (nb younger people, ask your dad, or look him up on YouTube).

the early books of Bill Bryson as a modern day travel classic.

And if it sells as many copies as a Bryson then Mark can buy me a drink. Have you seen the price of a pint of Guinness in the Triangle these days? I love the idea, too, that somewhere in Lanarkshire, or Spalding, or even abroad, somebody might pick up this book and think, Crystal Palace, what an exotic, mysterious and fascinating place that must be – which indeed we all know it is – but without understanding that it is also cheek by jowl with Croydon described by Mark as ‘not naturally ugly, but ugly like a beautiful woman who got to sixty and decided to have a series of botox operations, each of which went frighteningly wrong’. We will, of course, have signed copies.

But anyway, back to Mark. His new book is based on his award-winning Radio 4 series of the same name, wherein he travels to towns the length and breadth of Great Britain and attempts to look beneath their seemingly identikit exteriors in search of the diverse and eccentric, and it’s bloody brilliant. Far more than just ‘the book of the series’ it deserves to take its place alongside

Join us to help Mark celebrate, with our usual rumpus, the publication of his brilliantly funny new book. Mark will be signing, reading and telling a joke or two. This event will be very popular and is free, but it would be great if you could record your intention to come along by booking a (free) ticket via: http://booksellercrow.co.uk

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Mark Steel's in the shop Friday 25 November 7.30pm

...he’s only saying that because they’re mates.... the book’s a bit s*** really

The satire of an earlier generation is celebrated in Private Eye The First 50 Years (Private Eye Productions £25.00), written

by Adam Macqueen (who at one time lived in Crystal Palace and once said a very nice thing about us on the internet – oh yes, that will get you a good review). It is a compulsively readable scrapbook of all things Eye and a reminder of just how consistently funny and challenging they have been for such a long time in spite of being dismissed by the great and the good. And indeed, Piers Morgan, who described it as ‘run by rather bitter, mainly drunken, sad, twisted ex-public schoolboys who actively enjoy being very unpleasant about people’. They do a good job, and the book acts as an excellent alternative primer to the social and political history of the last few decades.

The Internet (s): The Annual (Snowbooks £9.99) by Will Hogan (another resident of Crystal Palace but one, unfortunately, who has yet to say a nice thing about us on the internet, the rectification of which can only be a matter of time) made me laugh a lot. Ostensibly a handbook to the internet it helpfully provides a list of user levels prior to reading. If you ‘know your WLTM from LOL and ROFL, can reconfigure Twitter updates across iPad, mypod, mypig, mobile and the toaster filled

with poptarts, then yes, you were born Post 1990. Some references may be lost but the temporal and non-sequential subjects should align with your genetically hardwired ADHD’. Plenty of this is very funny, Not least the Kimjongle North Korean Search Engine where exclamation marks or exclamations of any kind are not permitted after 2pm Monday to Monday.

Misery Bear (see interview elsewhere in this issue) is the saddest, loneliest, most suicidal teddy bear in the whole world. A borderline alcoholic with anger management issues, the furry little critter is also the star of a series of short BBC films, which if you have seen them on YouTube (and you really should) you may have noticed some very familiar locations. Now he has written Misery Bear’s Guide to Love and Heartbreak (Hodder £12.99). Just lately he has been hanging around the shop at all hours, watching and waiting for someone to buy his book. You should buy his book. He will even sign it for you, or possibly ask you out on a date.

One of our most popular cookery books of the last few years has been Persia in Peckham (Prospect Books £17.99) by Sally Butcher, proprietor of the Persian food store Persepolis based in Peckham. In her new book Veggiestan (Pavilion £25.00) she explores Middle Eastern vegetarian cookery with wit, enthusiasm, and knowledge born from a sense of hardy adventure. It is full of good things, some familiar such

as tabouleh and couscous, and some much less so. Iranian white truffle, for instance. Her recipe for cucumber and pomegranate salsa begins ‘Firstly, make sure that you are wearing pomegranate coloured clothes (or perhaps put an apron on)’. Sound advice for most aspects of life, I would have thought.

By a happy accident of Twitter I have followed the progress of the very popular website Domestic Sluttery with a mixture of

fascination and awe at the sheer amount of industry that has gone into it. The book of the same name

by Sian Meades and her fellow sluts (Anova £14.99) seems to me – a dad to two teenage daughters – a very practical, stylish primer on everything from home decoration to party planning, dressmaking and baking. Not forgetting going on holiday and drinking gin. Heck, they even recommend using your local bookshop – ‘a wonderful asset to your local community’ – over buying online. Classy.

Jonathan Main 63

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A shop full of books that you might want to read

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THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! Howard Male finds that global sounds are just as likely to be found in London as any other part of the world

London Is The Place For Me was sung by Lord Kitchener (aka Trinidadian Aldwyn Roberts) back in the 1950s, and thankfully London has continued to be the place many an adventurous musician has headed for ever since. At least once a month, I find myself being introduced to some new London-based band the line-up of which includes at least one member from some other part of the world. Take The Magic Tombolinos. With their founding member, vocalist and sax player Alejandro Toledo, hailing from Argentina, and other members coming from Italy, Portugal and Costa Rica, they naturally produce a fairly uncategorisable noise which takes in the blues, flamenco, jazz, rock and Balkan music.

Their debut album, the rather clunkily titled Full Attack, With Sudden Defences (Inclusionism Records), doesn’t just go for the lowest common denominator of the global dance crowd, their intention was clearly to create a cinematic atmosphere as well as get

folk’s feet moving. But you really need to see them live to get the full effect.

Born in Port of Spain but based in London for many years, Anthony Joseph is a performance poet and teacher. With his band The Spasm Band, he has created a tough, funky and soulful album with Rubber Orchestras (Naïve Records) which brings to mind Benjamin Zephaniah, Sly Stone and primarily, Gil Scott-Heron. I’m not usually a fan of poetry set to music (poetry should be allowed to breathe against the silence it gently interrupts) but here the music is so sinuous and powerful, and the words so close to functioning simply as song lyrics, that the whole thing gels remarkably well.

If you’re very lucky, you might catch a sighting of Errol Linton (and more importantly, a song or two) on the London Underground.

Although he’s released two albums in the last decade and always plays to appreciative audiences, in the age of the free download the reality of the musician’s life is that

it’s damn hard to make a decent living. This South London-based blues singer and harmonica player infuses his music with a reggae vibe no doubt influenced by his West Indian parentage. So buy a copy of Mama Said (Ruby Records) or drop a pound coin into the guy’s cloth cap if you happen to hear the clarion call of his harp echoing around Piccadilly Circus ticket hall.

I saw Cuban/hip hop dance outfit Wara for the first time at this summer’s Thames Festival. Although their live performance was still a bit ragged round the edges, this debut EP Wara (Movimientos Records) exudes sassy confidence and is well produced enough to transcend budget restrictions. In fact if I’d not read the press release I would have imagined it had arrived direct from a major Cuban record label. Three female vocalists create tight, powerful harmonies, some bloke raps functionally every now and then, and the stabs of brass and muscular rhythm section are a reminder of the roots of this music.

But from the credible recreation of the heat of a Havana night, we move to… well, just up the road actually. Suffer in Silence is the opening track of local band, The Peryls debut album A Man He Was to All the Country Dear (Golden Hoof Records). It begins in a minor key but almost gets up a Dexy’s Midnight Runners head of steampunk steam for its single major-key chorus. And so it is with much of this debut album: you’re never quite sure what you’re supposed to be feeling with these piano and violin-led warped waltzes, beleaguered ballads and lunatic lullabies.

One person's gloomy is another person's edifyingly contemplative: but if you like The Velvet Underground in Pale Blue Eyes mode, or for that matter, any pensive pop of the past half-century with a dark undertow, The Peryls might be right up your mist-shrouded street.

Howard Male

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