The Transmitter Issue 9

ISSUE 9 DEC 2009

What lurks beneath the White Hart?

THE TRUTH IS DOWN THERE...

Ghost Stories!

Present Tense

Our Guide to Local Christmas Shopping

THE X-MAS FILES

The Christmas Auction Rosebery’s will be holding their Christmas antiques auction on the 8th & 9th December @11am To include ceramics, glassware, silver, jewellery, watches, paintings, watercolours & prints, collector’s items, works of art, rugs, antique and modern design furniture.

With over 1,000 items for sale, why not come along and view the auction, there is sure to be that special Christmas present for someone you know.

Buying at auction is easy and exciting, you can bid in the room; on the telephone; live on the internet or leave a commission bid and we will bid on your behalf.

An 18ct white gold, diamond & emerald ring

For a free catalogue bring this advert to the saleroom and present it to the reception counter.

You can also view the catalogue can online from Tuesday 24th November. www.roseberys.co.uk If you would like to receive our free monthly auction notification email, please send an email with your contact details to reception@roseberys.co.uk

A collection of early 20th century triang toys

Auction Viewing Times Friday 4th December 1pm to 5pm Sunday 6th December 10am to 2pm Monday 7th December 9:30am to 5:30pm The auction will be held on Tuesday 8th & Wednesday 9th December starting at 11am each day

Hungarian School, early-mid 20th centuryFamily of white cats by a fire; oil on canvas

An Edwardian silver and inlaid jewellery box

A gold cased half hunter pocket watch, with a gold watch chain

Saleroom: 74 / 76 Knights Hill, West Norwood, London, SE27 0JD.Tel: 020 8761 2522 Email: reception@roseberys.co.uk. www.roseberys.co.uk

Editor Andy Pontin Sub Editors Jonathan Main Annette Prosser Regulars Liz Clamp Justine Crow Michael Eyre Howard Male Nadia Sawalha Sue Wil iams Design Andy Pontin Simon Sharvil e Printing The Marstan Press Ltd Contact

editor@thetransmitter.co.uk 020 8771 5543

The Transmitter is published by Transmission Publications Ltd Registered in England 6594132 PO Box 53556, London SE19 2TL

Issue Cover

Liv as the Corpse Bride Styling, hair and makeup by Heather Morris at fortyseven Photography by Andy Pontin

WELCOME TO THE ghosts of christmas present From the Editor

D

ear Readers

Ok, enough of the spooky fonts...So what's all this ghost stuff about anyway? "That's not a very 'Christmassy' cover" I hear you say. Well, what do you know, eh?

Christmas is a time when some of us tend to overeat and overspend. With all the lovely independent shops and restaurants, we should all be overeating and overspending. If you need any help, we have four pages stuffed with great ideas for christmas gifts (sourced locally, of course) - see pages 26-29. We also had a 50s-style photoshoot with some of the Transmitter girls to celebrate the local retro shop scene (p24). Overeatingwise, Justine visits one of the longstanding successes of the Crystal Palace restaurant scene, the Tamnag Thai (p42).

spooky front

Back on the (or spooky font anyway) we have a round up of some of the (allegedly) haunted spots around Crystal Palace (p12), a creepy tale about a local commuter from Justine (p16) and a true story of ghostly happenings in Auckland Road.

All the regulars are here..Howard Male draws our attention to an exhibition that includes some very famous names on page 34, Sue Willams talks rubbish (well, compost) on page 36 and the lovely Nadia gives us a recipe for chicken which, having scarfed it down after taking the photo, I now want to eat every single week of my life.

Howard is back again with his review of newly released cool and funky sounds from around the globe that they won't be playing on Capital Radio (p46) and Jon sweeps his gaze across some interesting new book releases for your Christmas stockings (p48).

Local band The Peryls first EP has been played to death in The Transmitter offices since we discovered their strange charms, and it was great to finally meet up with them for our photo shoot. Next week, the band release their new EP, I Have Not Slept One Wink. and have organised a spooky victorian event on 12 December to celebrate (see page 19). The band also collaborated with us on our very first music video for Transmitter TV - so if you fancy a bit of local folk noir and can't wait until the new EP is released, you can watch Those Blackguards right now at www.thetransmitter.co.uk in glorious HD. Oh, and we had a fun (and slightly weird) evening at the Numidie wine bar this week for the Transmitter Short Film Festival 'trial run'. It was very cosy but proved to us it was worth doing again in the New Year, probably in a larger venue! If you are local film-maker, or just like the idea of watching a right old mixed bag of locally made shorts (some were rubbish), watch this space....

That's it! Enjoy our bumper Xmas issue!

4

Andy p

ISSUE 9 decemBER 2009

CONTENTS 6

News and Events

11

The Top 15 Best Ever Ghost Movies Ever

WHAT'S HAPPENING AROUND HERE THESE DAYS?

OUR UTTERLY GRATUITOUS LIST OF GHOST FILMS..BRILLIANT!

12

Ghosts of Crystal Palace

16

Hole in The Wall

24

Honey, I'm Home!

26

Present Tense?

34

Drawing Attention

36

Palace Patch

38

A Passport to Sunny Food

40

The Spirits of Christmas Present(s)

42

Restaurant Review

46

There's a World Out There

48

The Bookseller

52

What's On

SOME PLACES AROUND HERE ARE SAID TO BE HAUNTED...

A GHOSTLY TALE OF COMMUTER CREEPINESS AND C ASHPOINTS

OUR 50's-STYLE MAIDS MAKE MERRY WITH MARTINIS AND MANTOVANI

WE LOWER THE TENSION WITH LOTS OF IDEAS FOR LOC AL GIFT BUYING

HOWARD MALE VISITS THE DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY

SUE WILLIAMS GETS DOWN AND DIRTY IN THE GARDEN

NADIA SAWALHA GOES BUNGEE CHICKEN JUMPING MICHAEL KNOCKS B ACK SOME SCOTCH FOR YOU - WELL SOMEONE HAD TO!

JUSTINE TAKES HER TRIBE TO THE TAMNAG TO TASTE THAI

HOWARD MALE'S NEW NEW MUSIC RELEASES (NO, THAT'S NOT A TYPO)

JONATHAN HAS A FEW BOOK SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR XMAS WISHLIST FANCY GOING OUT? SOME OF THIS STUFF IS EVEN BETTER THAN STRICTLY!

5

NEWS AND EVENTS we try to explain some of the strange occurences around here Open Studios

Christmas Festival

A Haunting Book

On Friday 27 November, Peter Spilsbury celebrates the launch of his new website by hosting an open studios and fashion show. There will be a chance to browse and buy work along with a spot of music and a few drinks.

On Saturday 28 November the streets of Crystal Palace will once again become the focus for a variety of fun family events, markets and music.

A draughty and dilapidated family home, strange knockings, a jumpy dog, random black smudges, and a teary teenage maid who’s determined the house “gives you the creeps”: the gothic elements of a story perfect for winter evenings.

The catwalk will start at 8.15pm but Peter advises you to get there early as there is only limited space.

Peter will also be opening his studio along with a few others on Sunday 29 December and the following weekend on 5 & 6 December. So if anyone can’t make the private view this is another opportunity to meet the makers, do some Christmas shopping and have a mulled wine to get into the Christmas spirit.

Gipsy Hill Workshops, 14 Paddock Gardens, Crystal Palace SE19 3SB www.jewellerybypeterspilsbury.com See What's On for more details

To name but a few of the things happening; The Scissors Paper Rock Craft Market will be at the White Hart Pub, there will be fun children's events at Upper Norwood Library (from 2pm) and there will be no shortage of music events, starting with The Endurance Steel Orchestra, a ten piece steel section that will be playing in Westow Street outside Blockbusters. There will be lashings of live music during the afternoon and evening at venues around the area including The Grape & Grain, The White Hart and The Alma.

There's also all the market stalls to browse and hunt for something quirky for a special xmas present.

Over 100 people heard how months of research into post-war paranormal fact and fiction, made on the internet and at the British Library, helped to create her unsettling 1940’s tale of unexplained happenings in a cold country house.

See What's On for more details

Frost Fair Also on Saturday 28 November, The Phoenix Centre Frost Fayre in Westow Street (11am - 5pm) offers a choice of gifts and Christmas treats. This year, to mark its 25th Anniversary, there will be an hourly Champagne Raffle Prize for lucky entrance ticket holders, in support of the London Air Ambulance Service.

Free champagne! Do you feel lucky?

6

The Little Stranger was chosen by Upper Norwood Joint Library as the latest novel in the Crystal Palace Park and Read promotion.

Earlier this month, South London author (and Man Booker Prize nominee) Sarah Waters visited the library to talk about her book.

Was she spooked at all when writing some of the creepier scenes? “No, to be honest I was really focusing on the technicalities,” Sarah revealed, “I’m very sceptical … but then again, maybe I could be persuaded …”

Visit www.uppernorwoodlibrary.org for details of future events.

Much Bigger Picture

Xmas Movie

Crystal Palace Bigger Picture Gallery are set to move from their quirky shop premises in Church Road to a rather more luxurious and spacious 'gallery' space at the top of Anerley Hill.

Fancy a film as the nights draw in? Crystal Palace Pictures, our very own local film society, are here to help. Based at the Gipsy Hill Tavern, next to Gipsy Hill station, they show a film every other Thursday from 7.30pm. See crystalpalacepictures.com for their full programme. Tickets are £5.

Just like in the old days, they show a short film before the main feature.

So far they’ve also had the director of most of the shorts along for a chat afterwards. It certainly adds a

Previously a car showroom, the current owners, SG Smith cars, are giving over the fantastic (large) space for a period to help support the arts locally. The venue is expected to play host to a variety of exciting exhibitions by local artists and creative types including painting, sculpture, photography and film.

The Crystal Palace Bigger Picture Gallery recently won the first round in the national photo competition organised by the Social Enterprise Coalition. Following in the footsteps of last year’s winner, Jamie Oliver’s restaurant, Fifteen, they represent London in the national competition.

The Bigger Picture Gallery, established by local artists, is dedicated to making the arts more accessible to the local community and is working in partnership with the Croydon Development Agency to regenerate empty shops in Crystal Palace.

touch of Hollywood glamour to the neighbourhood.

This year’s big Christmas movie is… your decision. Go to their website to vote, X-Factor style, for your favourite of 10 classic (and not so classic) Christmas films.

They include It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas,Trading Places, even Die Hard! Which will be Crystal Palace’s No.1 Christmas film?

Turn up on 17 December to find out.

transmitter ad quarter page_Layout 1 15/11/2009 22:26 Page 1

Film for a fiver 7.30pm, every other Thursday The Gipsy Hill Tavern

For further information please call Roy Peterson on 07743 159295 or visit www. biggerpicturegallery.co.uk

Current 2009-10 programme & Christmas movie poll now available @ www.crystalpalacepictures.com The space still needs a lick of paint etc...

Supported by

7

NEWS AND EVENTS Xmas Market

L

ast year Paxton Primary School on Woodland Road held its first Christmas Market. It was a great success. Stalls laden with gifts made by local artists, craftsmen and traders; delicious hot food; mulled wine; Santa’s grotto; and a choir of angelic children entertained the parents and community of Crystal Palace and Gipsy Hill. The market will be staged again this year on Saturday 12th December. It will be bigger, louder and even more sparkly.

We have much to celebrate because this year the school has experienced an upheaval almost as complete as when the original building was demolished and the present one developed in 1973.

2009 started well with a brand new playground for the nursery children and further plans in the pipeline for improving the school grounds; a sellout screening of The Wizard of Oz, organised by the Parents’ Association (with children and parents in homemade costumes as dazzling as Dorothy’s red shoes); and an ambitious decision to stage the school Sports Day at Crystal Palace National Sports Centre.

After a disappointing Ofsted report our ambitious plans were almost scuppered when workmen discovered broken asbestos tiles above a suspended ceiling.

The school was closed until further notice. During the closure nursery children were given places at Elm Wood Primary School, and the rest of the school spent weeks being bussed to a new site in Streatham where everything from the school had been hastily transferred and temporarily set-up. It was a challenging time but with a real “spirit of the Blitz”, parents, children and teachers adapted and Lambeth Council’s plan was a success. Sports Day became a celebration of our unbreakable spirit, an excuse to let off steam. I doubt Crystal Palace has ever heard so much noise from so few young people. It was a triumph and will be repeated again in 2010.

8

September was something of a homecoming. The cleanest building in Gipsy Hill has re-opened its doors and the school has become part of the Kingswood and Elm Wood Federation.

We’ve got a new Head of School, and there’s a real sense of having weathered a storm. There has been a primary school on Woodland Road since 1887.

Like so much of the “Phoenix Suburb”, Paxton School is rising stronger from

the ashes of a challenging year. The Christmas Market on Saturday 12th December will be an opportunity for the parents to celebrate and the wider community of Crystal Palace and Gipsy Hill to support one of its little gems. So please come along and raise a cup of mulled wine with us.You might even find that special Christmas present you’ve been searching for.

Michael Corden and Polly Duval

TRADING PLACES WHAT ARE ALL THOSE ENTERPRISING BUSINESS TYPES UP TO? Church Road Retro

Death for a Market

Belle Coco have moved their eclectic retro chic mix of 20th Century furniture, interior pieces and vintage fashions and jewellery from Haynes Lane Market up to Church Road - the shop, stuffed full of iconic designs from the1950's to the 1970's gave us inspiration for our 50's fashion shoot..

Sad news, Palace residents. Penge Farmers Market is no more. After a 6 month trial the organisers have discovered that Penge - try as it might - is not actually home to the shopper demographic required to sustain a farmers’ market. Penge isn't that short of shops - they have a great butcher’s, grocers and a very large Sainsburys at the end of the high street, so realistically speaking, they're not going to want to pay upwards of £7 for two loaves of fancy-schmancy bread and £4 for a bottle of apple juice. Frankly, not many people would.

Belle Coco 40 Church Road SE19 2TA 07565 179709

So what does it take for a farmers’ market to work? According to the market organiser when I spoke to him earlier in the year, Penge was a plum spot for a market, lacking as it does independent fishmongers, a bakery and so on and being (apparently although not in actuality) the habitat of relatively high earners. According to Murray Bros, the butcher’s, a farmers’ market was never going to work because people in the locality simply don't have that money to throw around. They don't necessarily seek out higher-welfare meat and organic veg hand-tilled from the soil by gnarly farmers - it's not their priority; cost, on the other hand, is. That's why the supermarket, with its BOGOF deals, thrives.

I suspect the argument is slightly more nuanced. Is it more to do with the local community and how you view and utilise the facilities available rather than the money sloshing around? For

example, Brixton has recently opened its own large and buzzing LFM* farmers’ market; this in addition to the large and reasonable Saturday market, so how are the organisers justifying its existence?

According to my source, Brixton is a very community-focused area and the council are hugely pro-active in promoting community-based projects, both locally to residents and B2B (Business to Business). Add in to the mix the surrounding well-off areas of Herne Hill and the like and the join-thedots procedure at LFM and the market will no doubt go on to thrive, backed by enthusiastic publicity and shoppers.

It’s not beyond the realms of possibility (well, perhaps on the very outer cloud-edged rim) that Crystal Palace could support a farmers’ market. I’d like to think we’re environmentallyaware locavores where possible (see the Crystal Palace Cinema Campaign) and we clearly relish our booming restaurant scene and independent shops. To be so hopelessly dependent on Sainsbury’s is a depressing prospect for the future. It all rather depends on the council – the lack of purposeful signage and distinctly low-key awareness-raising of the French market and the recent (outstandingly good) one-off Italian market hardly bodes well; lack-a-daisaical seems too kind a term.

Could they be relied upon to back a market if we residents wanted one? I say, rise up fellow foodies – this little piggy really wants to go to market. *London Farmers Markets

9

Cinema Update Picture Palace Campaign Quiz Night We had a fantastic night at the Grape and Grain pub for our quiz night event on Sunday 8 November, with 88 people being prepared to put their film knowledge to the test with outstanding performances from all 18 teams that took part!

There was a great atmosphere and we hope that you will come to our next quiz night which we hope to hold in the New Year.

XMAS Vox Pop What is the best thing about Crystal Palace at Christmas?

"It reminds me of a village more than any other time of year. I love the sense of community and everyone seems so happy."

Perry (proprietor, Coconut Trading)

" the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols at Christ Church, Gipsy Hill (Sun 20 December, 8pm)"

Rev Andrew Rumsey (Vicar, Christ Church Gipsy Hill)

"I like how we come together as a community - we know how to enjoy ourselves in Crystal Palace"

Hamid & Andy

Andy (Proprietor, Bambino antiques)

The Raffle Results We also held the long awaited raffle and in total sold 619 raffle tickets.

A massive thank you to everyone who bought tickets and to all the wonderful local businesses that made it such a huge success by being so generous in donating so many great prizes. Altogether, on the night, we raised nearly ÂŁ800 for the campaign.

What do you want for Christmas? "a box set of Beatles remasters.."

Rev Andrew Rumsey (Vicar, Christ Church Gipsy Hill)

"A cinema for Crystal Palace!"

Phil (Proprietor, Myjumbie.com)

"More christmas decorations in the street, like New York...or East Dulwich!"

Hamid (Barkeep, Numidie restaurant)

Dates for your diaries Come and visit the campaign stall at the CP Festival on Saturday 28 November when we'll have more information about the planning application and what you can do to help in the run up to the Bromley planning committee which is now being held at 7pm on Thursday 17 December at Bromley Civic Centre, Stockwell Close, Bromley.

We are looking for a strong turn out at Bromley and will be posting travel plans for how to get there on both the campaign website www. picture-palace.org and the Cinema for Crystal Palace facebook nearer the time.

"A Gordon Brown Airfix kit!"

Simon (designer)

"Somebody to bring Christian Louboutins into Frankie and Lola's in my size!"

Frankie (Proprietor, Frankie and Lola)

10

Frankie

THE TOP fifteen best GHOST films OF ALL TIME EVER This issue has a christmas 'spirit' theme, and to kick off our selection of ghostly bits and pieces, here's a gratuitous list. We asked several Transmitter readers to vote for their top ghost movies of all time...

1. The Shining 1980 2. Don't Look Now 1973 3. The Haunting 1963 4. Ghost Busters 1984 5. The Sixth Sense 1999 6. The Others 2001 7. The Orphanage 2008 8. Ghost 1990 9. Beetlejuice 1988 10. Poltergeist 1982 11. Carnival of Souls 1962 12. The Eye 2002 13. Project 1999 14. The Uninvited 1944 15. Truly Madly Deeply 1990

the

Ghosts of Crystal Pala ce

Said to be Haunted... houses in church road

The Headless Corpse of Crystal Palace Station The Crystal Palace tunnel runs between Gipsy Hill and Crystal Palace stations. Many years ago a track maintenance worker was killed by a train in the tunnel whilst knocking in keys to hold down the rails and was decapitated in the process.

His ghost has been seen by staff on many occasions, as he wanders disconsolately around the tunnel, and at all hours of the day and night, the sound of his hammering can be heard....

old police station Gipsy Hil

house in Auckland Road

The Sycamores Beulah Hil

12

lots of places according to

A Ghost inThe White Hart?

T

here are stories going round of old catacombs and a network of interconnected tunnels beneath the streets of Crystal Palace.

This idea is absolutely fascinating and warrants serious investigative research and many hours spent in the appropriate archives. Either that, or somebody send for Mulder and Scully.

Anyway, what we did was to creep around in the basement of the White Hart with a camera and a corpse bride lookalike. It is not your average basement it has to be said - I have never seen so many crane flies and spiders assembled in one place and the floor in some places is covered with a kid of slimy gel (see picture right) that our brave and barefoot model had to scrape off her feet that night when she got home...nice.

In the interests of 'serious' journalism, we also spoke to Emmeline, one of the regular barstaff at the White Hart: “Every time I go downstairs to change the barrels I get this strange feeling.

I know that if you go into a situation like that alone your senses might be heightened, but every time I go down - even if I am with someone else, I get this feeling - it’s as if someone is running up behind you. It’s like there’s a gush of wind. It’s really frightening….”

Chatting to Emmeline upstairs in the busy pub, she doesn’t seem the sort of person who is easily upset, "I’m not naturally nervous about being alone..." she says "I live by myself. I only get these experiences here, in this basement.”

This issue's cover features the curious 'underground shop' beneath the pub.

The urban myth goes that back in the halcyon days of the Crystal Palace, well connected Victorians used a network of tunnels to navigate the area without being generally recognised or risking a mugging from the many ne'er do wells that frequented the area. There are reports of a tunnel, now blocked up, between the White Hart and the Alma and also the more far-fetched claim that a tunnel ran all the way from the pub to the Queen's Hotel.

A few years back, when Island Fusion in Westow Hill was a French restaurant, the gallic owner was happy to show people the entrance to 'the catacombs', especially if he had had a glass or three of chardonnay. We also have reports from readers of a tunnel between the SG Smith Showroom (top of Anerley Hil) beneath the road to the grounds of the Crystal Palace.

The building used to be a ballroom.

Fascinating stuff...watch this space!

Andy Pontin 13

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The A true storyMan of terror in Who auckland road Wasnt There It was not until I started investigating our family's genealogy that I was surprised to find that so many of them from the early 1800s lived in South London. It was helpful and slightly comforting when going through census records of 1841-1881 to recognise names of places I knew.

Before our marriage my husband Ian had had a house on the Penge/Beckenham borders; once married we sold the house in SE20 and were very pleased to find a recently-built three bedroom semi with all mod cons, garage and long garden in SE19. It was for sale and empty. During our viewings for a new home, there had been some in which I felt an immediate sense of depression or melancholy, but this one at Auckland Road was the right price, bright and ready for occupation. The name of the road (myself having just spent two years in the Antipodes) appealed to me.

The board outside sent us to Caton Laid estate agents in Crystal Palace and within a few months the deal was completed.

It is strange how one accepts things as they happen but later realises that it just could not be so. One sunny day in the Auckland Road house I looked out of the back window and saw a man crossing the garden. On one side of the garden ran a high chain link fence, next to it a playing field and on the other side a tall wooden fence. The garden ran up into woods but there was no way out at the end. The man (who I later realised was dressed in the fashion of an Edwardian gamekeeper) had a gun across his back. Without thinking, I ran into the garden to call to him – but he had already gone. There were no exits or gates. It seemed he had walked through the right hand fence.

Shortly afterwards, walking up the hall of the house I saw an elderly pleasantlooking lady in a long grey dress walking toward me. She had a lacy cap over her white hair and a chatelaine with

keys around her waist. A sort of lady housekeeper. She seemed to smile at me. As I later saw her several times I began to think that I was having hallucinations but I felt perfectly normal and there was nothing scary about it.

It did not seem like a haunting; it was almost as if we both had a right to be there and were tolerant of one another.

The situation became more interesting when my husband, a most down to earth and unfanciful person, saw her several times too. I developed a theory that these two ‘visitors’ had been there at another period in time and we were seeing them in a version of twin tracks.

We never spoke to the neighbours about it as it did seem rather silly, but years after we moved away from that house a few clues dropped into place.

Corresponding with other ex-Upper Norwood friends (also since moved away) we wondered if indeed our former home could have been haunted.

And if it was, how could that be as it was newly-built when we moved in.

One friend Jenny, ex-Sylvan Road, revealed that the house had been built on the site of a Victorian house that was bombed during the war. I think she mentioned the house name Birdhurst but I can't find any record of that. Other friends Peter and Anne added that they always thought the place was haunted and didn't like walking around there in the dark.

(such as a transmitter), another is underground water movement. Another trigger is the presence of a person particularly susceptible or sensitive to picking up certain atmospheres. I realised that not far away was the TV transmitter on South Norwood Hill (occasionally it seemed to interfere with our radio reception). Ian had deduced we had underground water in our garden on the hill and had dug a well: water gushed out freely in heavy rainy weather and the well had to be capped. South London is known for its underground rivers and streams.

And I was sensitive to atmospheres in houses. On one viewing in Surrey I had to rush outside. On another in Bromley I had declared the house too sad and later learned the reason why the house was for sale: the family who had lived there had all died in a car crash.

But if the old gamekeeper and housekeeper really did exist once in a house on the site in Auckland Road, they were never scary. Maybe before the big bangs of World War II blew that piece of domesticity to pieces, one sunny day one of them walked into the garden and said to the other: “Do you know, I just thought I saw a young dark haired woman with a baby in the hall.

She was wearing strange, rather short clothes. She smiled at me. I wonder if I saw a ghost? Or perhaps it was just my imagination?”

B M Telford

I checked on the internet and in archives and found that in fact there was some severe bombing along parts of Auckland Road during World War II, and that later there had been rebuilding.

During the period we lived there nearby large Victorian houses were being demolished to make way for blocks of flats. Watching a programme on television about psychic disturbances, an expert gave the opinion that there are physical attributes within an area that can trigger such events. One is a particular type of electrical activity

15

Hole in the wall if you are reading this on the train home, and it's dark, prepare to be creeped out. .

T

he spike of the tower had been erased by cloud when Julius left for work.

Now, boarding the train at Victoria for a return later than planned, it was hard to recall how thick that fog had been that morning when he’d pulled back the curtains and found nothing but a dense dread where the houses across the road used to be. And when Julius had stepped outside to put the key under the bin, his ears and face cringed with the instant cold. By the time he got to the platform, he really wished he wasn’t one of those fools who never wore a hat.

At close to midnight, the train felt warm and he knew he was in danger of falling asleep. A tough, tedious day at the office had been followed unexpectedly, by a tough evening in the pub. Why so unexpected, he never could fathom on these occasions. Afterall, he’d planned to go home, stop by the supermarket and get used to a life without Wendy but it was so much easier to give into Keith’s come-for-a-quick-one, than to face her absence. Shouldn’t have done it though, he admonished himself.

One of these days his liver would just pack up and leave. Like Wendy.

Ha, ha.

If he couldn’t recall the feel of the early fog, it was because he couldn’t recall much at all. Did he pay for every round? Who else had been there? Keith, yes. Alan, yes. Rosa, oh yes. Rosa. Best not to dwell too much on the evening, he decided.

He would entrust the alcohol with its gift of amnesia and by the next day, most of his recollection would

16

be erased like the transmitter in the mist and he could return to the office shruggingly innocent.

Suddenly, the train was at Crystal Palace. How did that happen? He must have slept through Gipsy Hill.

Damn. Damn Keith. He struggled to make the push button on the door listen but finally, it relented and mindful of his unsteadiness – I’m not that drunk, Wendy – he stepped down tentatively and righted himself while the train ambled off.

He was alone. He didn’t usually get off here and was irritated by the lager and lack of familiarity. And it was so dark. Why weren’t the ruddy lights on at this stupid station?

Outside, he was met by relentless anaesthetising fog - home was up the hill, if he could find it. Or should he nip through the park and over the top? He paused while slow, beer steeped machinations slotted a route together like a child clicking together track, then he set off into the trees. Into the trees? He could smell wood-smoke. Autumn, he said to himself and hiccupped.

“This way,” said the voice. Now he could hear the directions from inside his head. What a relief. He thought he was going to do it blind!

It’ll be fine, Wendy. I’m fine. “It’ll be fine if you come this way, sir.”

“Sorry?” He stopped. “Sir?” “Sir,” emphasised the voice with a sneer. He felt a palm cup his elbow and tug. Jeez, is this me being street robbed? Have it. If I can find it, he can have it.

“Here!” he shook off the hand and threw his wallet down. His attacker crouched as he fished through the contents and then looked up.

“What am I to do with this?” He held up a debit card. White with eyes peering through glistening rings of pink, the rest of his face was caked with a grim residue like charcoal. For a routine chancer, he looked pretty weird, not to mention perplexed.

“One seven one zero,” Julius replied, annoyed. “Wendy’s birthday.” The thief cocked his head so he repeated it. “The pin. The bloody pin. I think there’s a hole-inthe-wall across the road from the station. Oh for Pete’s sake..”

The man stood. He wasn’t the tallest in town. Dressed in filthy trousers, waistcoat and overcoat, if Julius didn’t know better, he’d say he was about to be mugged by an extra from the West End. “I want your money, not your gimmickry. Sir.” There was a dull glimpse of steel and the unmistakeable flatness of a blade pressed to Julius’ breastplate.

“I’ll get money,” Julius reasoned, “We’ll go to the hole-in-the-wall..” and the mugger prodded him forward.

They emerged from the trees into a mist swathed clearing edged by bracken. Disorientated, Julius thought perhaps they had gone into the park but he could perceive no landmarks - the station and streetlights had been rubbed out; they appeared to be walking on heathland. There was a sloping, sandy path strewn with stones that Julius found hard to navigate without slipping but his assailant continued both to push and steady him when his feet skittered.

Then, “Stop,” He took a scarf from inside his coat and motioned to Julius who, though afraid of being stabbed was also transfixed by this curious drunken adventure, and was intrigued enough to tie the scarf around his own eyes. “That’s right,” the figure murmured approvingly.

“This way.”

Julius giggled. I’ve just bloody kidnapped myself, Wendy. Stumbling, he allowed himself to be guided and after about ten minutes of tree roots and brambles, his nose and chest had filled with wood-smoke.

His eyes stung when the man whipped off the blindfold and he fought through tears to focus. To his astonishment, he found he was surrounded. It was unmistakeable.

Numbering thirty or more, they were gypsies. Straight out of a book.

“He claims,” his assailant spoke to the crowd, “that his valuables are hidden in a whole in a wall. I need three men to accompany me, safe from any fancy business.”

Silently, six or seven males stepped into the glow of the fires and Julius knew he was in real trouble.

Nervously, he decided to introduce himself, to appeal to their humility: “How do you do. I’m Julius Cooper.” Suddenly everyone was talking.

“You are Cooper?” asked the man.

“Was last time I looked..”

“Well, I’ll be,” said the man and shook the hand that Julius proffered.

“Why didn’t you say? You don’t look like a Cooper. But we are that tribe. We are all Coopers!” and he gestured round the now smiling gypsies, who had visibly relaxed.

“Sit with us.”

But there were no quaint caravans.

Thin, filthy and mainly barefoot, the obvious poverty of these people was shocking. Cloth had been thrown over branches to provide canopies and beneath, his audience of men, women and children stared at him with sooted indifference, their blank expressions lit by several small, hot fires.

The atmosphere changed from dark indifference to warm joviality in an instant. Julius was brought a chair and pushed down onto it.

The children drew close on their haunches. There was a buzz as the gypsies settled themselves. Then Julius realised that the only other person honoured with a chair was an old lady who’d been brought

forward. A burly bloke stepped in and lit a long white pipe for her while she sucked and surveyed.

“Cooper, eh?” she finally said. “Who was your mother?”

“Glenys?” he answered hopefully.

More discussion. The old woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Julius added for good measure. “She likes a smoke too.”

“I’m Sidney,” his mugger said.

Suddenly, hands were being pressed into his and his arm was being pumped. “I’m sorry for the disguise.

It is necessary for both friend and foe. Though being friend – family!

– I know you’ll send nobody to follow.” He turned and winked at his companions.

There was a command: “Sup!” and a ceramic jug was thrust at his face.

Julius swigged something sweet and bitty. “More!” and he did as he was bade and swallowed. The liquid left a revolting trail in his chest and somebody slapped him on the back. He coughed. They insisted he drink again. Meanwhile, the old lady watched and sucked.

He was shivering now and there was a fuss while precious coats and shawls were offered and finally a flat cap was slapped onto his head.

“Throw another constable on the

17

fire, Eddie!” roared Sidney and a small lad dragged a log longer than he was tall into the nearest campfire.

with sand, the children melted into the heathers. An eerie draught prevailed in the darkness, and the mist rolled in.

With the dark at his back and the grubby hooch in his chest, flames on his cheeks and knees, Julius began to feel woozy and content.

Sidney was talking at length about the grand exploits of the famous Coopers, the executions for smuggling, the prize-fights, the enmity between tribes.. His voice grew soft and, incredibly, a fiddle began a mournful tribute as he detailed their desire for revenge. Julius could string little of it together, Romany words looped back and forth like cats cradle as they pressed him to drink and he found himself thinking that he would read up about this lot. Do some research. Find out if he really was connected to these itinerants and rogues. It would be a clever excuse to call Wendy up. She had chums who worked for the council.

It was so unbelievable that this kind of gypsy still existed. That Bromley allowed them to camp here on – where? Anerley Hill was it? The back of Penge?

“We Coopers have travelled a thousand miles, and will a thousand score more,” sighed Sidney.

He stood up but his legs wouldn’t carry him. Their disgusting poteen had deprived him of all coordination and he fell backwards onto the chair, which in turn tipped him out at the feet of his assailant.

The flat cap was snatched off.

“Er Sid?” Julius shook himself dopily, his audience listened. “Where are we?”

There was a definite sense of withdrawal. Of discomfort. The old woman leaned forward toward him and squinted.

“Are we close, Julius Cooper..” she rasped, “to your treasure?”

“My.. treasure?”

“The hole where you hid it!” the old lady growled and Julius flinched.

“Sidney? Have ‘im. He’s an imposter.

Sent by the other camp. Thinks he can outwit us with the performance of an idiot. I say, despatch him fast.”

Suddenly the flat of Sidney’s blade was on his chest and the rest of the men had leered so close that Julius could smell their sweat and breath.

The old lady was lifted up out of the scene, the fires were doused

18

“Let’s go find treasure,” Sid placed the cap on his own pate. Then blindfolded, Julius was raised and draped and dragged into the enveloping freezing whorl. Fear began to rise like nausea. Thus far, he had been more amused than frightened but now, at the mercy of these thugs, inebriated as he was to the point of collapse, they would probably kill him just for being too incompetent to enter his pin correctly. Hell, even if he could find his card again.

“Where’s The Hole?” demanded Sid as they pulled and bumped him through the screed.

“Opposite Crystal Palace Station,” Julius whimpered.

“By what palace? There’s no palace. Croydon? Talk you of the Archbishop’s palace?”

“Where the trains go,” Julius suggested meekly. They dropped him face down.

“I don’t know of what you speak, sir,” said Sidney, seething with fury, a boot on his back. “But I’ll find out and I’ll have that treasure.Come what may.” The final three words as emphatic as they were sinister.

At dawn, Julius Cooper was woken by a policeman. The mist cleared to reveal him lying in the municipal planting beside the gang of buses on the parade. He was honest with the copper. Too much to drink after work. Got legless. Passed out. Won’t happen again. Promise, Wendy. I mean, officer.

He located his key from under the bin and entered the warm embrace of central heating. As he shaved, he marvelled at the intensity of his booze-fuelled dream, the smells

had been especially vivid and now, in a fresh shirt and trousers – his other suit was unaccountably muddy – it occurred to him that he didn’t know where his wallet was.

He made a mental note to call the bank and raided the small change jar to buy a ticket. Regrettably, it was time to head into work so he rattled down some aspirin with juice - thank god Wendy didn’t see the state he was in – and relieved at having got away with it again, made his usual train.

The carriage was full and he had to stand and hang on. The seven forty five lurched as it moved off and momentarily, Julius felt giddy again.

Perhaps it was the dregs of lager in his legs. Home early tonight Wendy, that’s for sure. He breathed in and sniffed the cloying commutery whiff of perfume, perspiration, paperbacks... And wood-smoke.

Wood-smoke. Baffled, he glanced around his formally attired fellow passengers for a clue. Over the heads buried in freesheets and iPhones, he sensed someone was trying to attract his attention.

Finally in the blur, he made eyecontact with a burnished face under a flat cap.

“Still travelling..” warned Sidney, unwavering over the laundered void. “Come. What. May.” And then the weathered, sooted ghost winked and faded away..

Justine crow

Those Blackguards

Go to www.thetransmitter.co.uk to see The Peryls in full HD...

T

o celebrate the release of their new EP, I Have Not Slept One Wink, Crystal Palace folk-noir outfit The Peryls are hosting a Victorian-themed event at Antenna Studios on Saturday 12 December.

The Peryls Victorian Christmas Extraordinarium "aims to re-create

the twisted, kaleidoscopic view of Victorian London that inspires the band’s music. Owing as much to Jack the Ripper, Tim Burton, and the Muppet Christmas Carol as it does to Dickens, the night will feature music, actors, arm-wrestling and a grim version of Santa Claus whose memory will linger long after the Boxing Day hangover has passed."

The Peryls have been gigging and recording in London for two years and tracks from their first two EPs have been featured on BBC Radio 6. The new record is their most ambitious yet and the band are keen for people to eat, drink, arm-wrestle and above all have fun in a part of Victorian London that almost certainly never existed.

Doors open at 5.30pm, and admission is free. Victorian dress is preferred but not compulsory, although you may well find yourself in the workhouse if you don’t try hard enough.

19

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Receive a posted copy of the next 6 issues of The Transmitter 3 EASY WAYS TO SUBSCRIBE

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Send your name, address and a cheque for ÂŁ12 to us at: The Transmitter, PO Box 53556, London SE19 2TL (Please make your cheque payable to Transmission Publications Ltd) You can also pay for your subscription by cash, cheque or credit/debit card at the following participating retailers:

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You can also pay for your subscription by credit/debit card online at www.thetransmitter.co.uk 40 Westow Street SE19

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Bursting with new ideas and great products unique to Smash Bang Wallop, with bits and pieces from local artists and designers.

Everywhere you look there are gorgeous gifts & treats. Come and explore the shop or visit us online www.smashbangwallop.co.uk

40 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 20

020 8771 5517

SINGING FOR BEGINNERS A New 6 Week Course A friendly class for anyone who wishes to improve their voice Beginning Wednesday 6th January 8:30 - 9:30pm at Antenna Studios, Haynes Lane, Upper Norwood

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Course fee: £60 per person To find out more or to book a place visit www.kateproudlove.co.uk email kate@kateproudlove.co.uk or telephone 07931 543650

KATE PROUDLOVE SOPRANO

Christmas menu

VOCAL & PIANO TUTOR

Sherry trifle Mrs Massey’s Christmas pudding Chocolate soufflé cake Homemade apple pie, blackberry sauce & vanilla ice-cream Plate of cheeses £23 per head (Coffee and mince pies evening only £28.00 per head) Quote Transmitter Magazine when you book for a free bottle of house wine!

Optional 12.5% service charge will be added to tables of 4+, for distribution amongst the staff

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Honey, Hom 24

I'm T me..!

his summer Time Out referred to Crystal Palace's 'legendary golden triangle of retro shops'. They sure got that right! If you fancy recreating a little 1950s domesticity in your home this Christmas you'll find truckloads of vintage kitchenware (and pinnies for the perfect housewife) at Haynes Lane Market, original and repro homewares at Glitter & Twisted, glamorous frocks and accessories at Vintagehart, Smash Bang Wallop and Vien, and kitsch lighting and furniture at Belle Coco, Crystal Palace Antiques and Bambino.

Photo by Andy Pontin Hair & Makeup - Georgina, Flick & Katia Clothes - Vintagehart Accessories - Bambino & Haynes Lane Market Furniture - Belle Coco & C. Palace Antiques

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GIFT GUIDE

Present Tense?

S

o for the past month we’ve had our hands over our ears, ignored the dfs ads and avoided certain aisles in the supermarket. But now, dear reader, it’s time for The Transmitter to put out the sparkly decs, switch on the lights and shout from the top ‘It’s Christmas!’ And it’s our big chance to big up the Palace, the only place around offering such an eclectic range of Christmas treats: handmade, fun, unusual, arty, glamorous, useful, cute, intellectual, vintage, tasty. Our beloved Triangle has the lot! Here is our gift guide reflecting just a soupcon of what’s available. Something you like on our pages? Get out that red felt pen, circle your faves and leave your handy hints somewhere prominent – in our office that would be the fridge. Here’s hoping Frankie gets those Louboutins!

Happy Shopping.

Now where’s that list, ah yes …

• Tree from The Secret Garden – check!

• Hand-baked mince pies from the Blackbird Bakery – check!

• Panettone from Piast – check!

• Baubles from Glitter & Twisted – check!

• Portuguese cakes and wines from Chave de Douro – check!

• Luxury food hamper from Mediterranea – check!

Hey, we’re starting to feel all Christmassy … Chestnuts roasting on an open fire …

Photo Album South of the River £8.99 Robot Kit Glitter and Twisted £6.50

Knitted Dino Smash Bang Wallop £9.50

Blue Wellie Boots Merlin Shoes £16

Under

12s

says what it cket on the ti

ABCs by Charlie Harper Bookseller Crow £6.99 Hair Accessories fortyseven from £6.50

26

Plectrums

The Secret Guitar Shop

Gold Bag Frankie and Lola £28

from 60p each

Burt's Bees beauty products Mother Earth from £3.50

Freedom, Rhythm & Sound book of album covers by Gilles Peterson Bookseller Crow £19.95

Converse hi-tops Grand Bay £35

Teens

outside thinking ox the x - b Incense Sticks Coconut Trading £1.55 each

Vintage haberdashery, buttons & trims Fondant @ Haynes Lane Market from 50p

Fabric Dyes McDonalds £4.95

Crafters make and bake or stitch 'n' bitch Festive cookie cutters Hollybush £4.95

Knitting needles from The Enterprise Shop from 20p The Knitted Odd-bod Bunch by Donna Wilson Bookseller Crow £12.99

Needles & Pins Case Vintagehart £5

Felt Jewellery Kit Smash Bang Wallop £10

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Venetian Mirror Crystal Palace Antiques £POA

Silk cushions Coconut Trading £12.99 for two

Medina Glass Glitter and Twisted from £10

xury

of Lu Lovers

like a e who s o th r fo osh bit of p Handmade Frock Allbone & Trimit £POA

Seville Orange Marmalade Blackbird Bakery £3.25

Champagne Truffles Smash Bang Wallop £9.90

Artwork from The Bigger Picture Gallery Church Road, Oil on Canvas Angelique Hartigan £595

Cultura

Simon Carter Watch Smash Bang Wallop from £45

l Olymp

iads

Boxing Day Footie Tickets CP vs Ipswich Town £24.50

Culture Vultur Sportos es and sorted

Individual Hour-long Session Training Points Fitness Centre £40 Membership of Crystal Palace National Sports Centre (CPNSC) £Price according to deal

Panto Tickets South London Theatre £9 (non-members)

Ticket for Crystal Palace Pictures Christmas Film £5

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New Hair Colour fortyseven from £50

GIFT GUIDE Pedicure from Northwood Clinic from £38

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Present tense Stockists (alphabetically) Allbone and Trimit The Overspill 4 Coopers Yard, Crystal Palace SE19 1TN 07764 196 284 www.allboneandtrimit.co.uk Beauty by Renata Brown 77 Church Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2TA 0208 771 5062 www. renatabrown.co.uk Bigger Picture Gallery www.biggerpicturegallery.co.uk Blackbird Bakery 71 Westow Street, Crystal Palace, SE19 3RW 020 8768 0357 Bookseller Crow 50 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AF 020 8771 8831 www.booksellercrow.co.uk Coconut Trading 73-75 Church Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2TA 020 8771 0700 Crystal Palace Antiques Imperial House Jasper Road, Crystal Palace SE19 1SJ 020 8480 7042 Crystal Palace National Sports Centre (CPNSC) Ledrington Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2BB 020 8778 0131 Crystal Palace Football Club Selhurst Park Stadium SE25 6PU 020 8768 6000 www.cpfc.co.uk Crystal Palace Pictures Gipsy Hill Tavern, 79 Gipsy Hill, Crystal Palace SE19 1QH www.crystalpalacepictures.com Fondant @Haynes Lane Market Haynes Lane ,Crystal Palace, SE19 3AN www.hayneslanemarket.com fortyseven 47a Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RW 020 8771 7170 www.fortysevenhair.co.uk Frankie and Lola 16 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8771 7719 www.frankieandlola.co.uk Glitter and Twisted 25 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RY 020 8771 9493 Grand Bay boutique 23 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RY 020 8653 9347 www.grandbayboutique.co.uk Hollybush Stores 24-28 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 86531258 Kate Proudlove 07931 543 650 www.kateproudlove.co.uk MacDonalds 57 Westow Hill, Crystal Palace SE19 1TS 020 8670 0696 Merlin Shoes 44 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH Mother Earth 42 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8768 0620 www.motherearthbeauty.com Northwood Clinic 36 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8653 5646 www.northwoodclinic.co.uk Smash Bang Wallop 40 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8771 5517 www.smashbangwallop.co.uk South of the River 56 Westow Street Crystal Palace SE19 3AF 020 8653 1669 www.southoftheriver.biz South London Theatre 2a Norwood High Street,West Norwood SE27 9NS 020 8670 3474 www.southlondontheatre.co.uk The Enterprise Shop 18 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8771 5950 The Secret Guitar Shop & Music Emporium Antenna Studios Haynes Lane, Crystal Palace SE19 3AN 07946 545 463 Training Points 85 Church Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2TA 07986 764553 www.trainingpoints.co.uk Vintagehart (at the White Hart pub) 96 Church Road Crystal Palace SE19 2EZ 07949 552926 or 07982 184657

29

She Was Dead, SoThey The PerylsTales of Love and Murder Inspires our Vintage Fashion Shoot

Girls wear dresses from: Vintagehart (96 Church Road - inside the White Hart pub),Vien (Church Road, SE19) Smash Bang Wallop (40 Westow Street, SE19), fortyseven (47a Westow Street, SE19)

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Said....

Photograph Andy Pontin Styling Liz@sbw & Annette@vintagehart Hair and Makeup Heather@fortyseven

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Vintage clothing New fashion Xmas Gifts

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33

drawing attenTION Howard Male draws some interesting conclusions about the latest exhibition at the Dulwich Picture Gallery

A

lthough this diverse exhibition has more celebrated artists than one could shake a loaded paintbrush at, one of its greatest pleasures lies in finding a work which wasn’t produced by one of Western art’s A-listers. After only five minutes I found myself under the spell of The Dairy Door, Farringford, Lord Tennyson’s Home by Helen Allinghan. A tangle of ivy and other rampant foliage threatens to engulf the dairy door of the title, while a nonplussed black-and-white cat passes by on the path below. This detailed 19th century watercolour could so easily have tipped over into Sunday-painter sentimentality or chocolate-box cliché, but the fact that the artist has resisted any kind of idealisation of her subject - and there’s perhaps a Darwinian subtext of resilient nature reclaiming its territory - makes it an involving and thought provoking tableau.

But, yes, I know - you want to know which of Western art’s A-listers are represented. After all, this exhibition of a hundred works cherry-picked from the Art Gallery of Ontario’s world-standard collection, spans five centuries of sketches and daubs. Well, the household names include Michelangelo, Rembrandt, Degas,Van Gogh, Picasso and Gauguin, so let’s look at one or two of these. Rembrandt’s A Quack (c 1937) is a tiny pen-andink sketch of a quack doctor. In just a few swift lashes of his pen, the Dutch master has managed to suggest every detail of this street entertainer’s clothes and manner. It’s even clear that a crude squiggle on the young man’s shoulder is the artist’s shorthand for a parrot. This is art made, not for the gallery viewer, but for the artist to work from at a later date, and it’s all the more electric because of this.

34

Michelangelo, on the other hand, is represented by a modest drawing with a very long title. Studies of a Left Thigh and Knee, a Right Knee, and a Right Foot. Compared with the Rembrandt, Michelangelo’s line is cautious and investigative. His piece of black chalk is a scalpel prodding away at a cadaver.

This is art as science as much as it is of expression. Also the drawing can depict the most insignificant of subjects and give them gravitas. The French neoclassicist Ingres in Study of a Drapery is concerned only with conveying the weight and flow of a length of cloth draped over the back of a chair, Ruskin just gives us a feather and a couple of flowers, but Turner gives us a storm and a rainbow yet does so with just a wash of watercolour which must have taken only minutes to execute.

But moving swiftly on (we have so much to cover here) I’d like to briefly mention the exquisite Gauguin. It’s again just a small sketch, but this time a blush of pinky-red has been added to the image

1.

of a young Tahitian girl. Such humble, dare I say, disposable works (for the artist may well have seen them as such at the time) are like the simple melody a composer picks out on single keys on the piano, which later becomes the main theme in a majestic symphony: they are an essential once-private part of the process, and so we are privileged to be able to gaze upon them now.

I mention the colour in the Gauguin work because you might not be expecting an exhibition called ‘Drawing Attention’ to have that much in the way of colour in it. How wrong you would be! In fact the title is somewhat misleading and ‘Works on Paper’ would have been more accurate. Particularly as you move through the deep plumcoloured galleries towards the last room where the 20th century works hang. Here, sun-bright hues shine out at you from all four walls: Delaunay, Roualt, Dufy, Masson and De Kooning – all artists who were concerned about moving away from direct representational work towards a purer form of abstraction. In fact, De Kooning’s Two Women on a Wharf (1949) stretches the definition of what a drawing is, to breaking point.Yes, it’s on paper, but the paper is thick with wild smudges and smears of oil and enamel paint. It’s a violent image, even if that violence isn’t explicit, and it brings home the fact that this show is about as wide a survey of Western art as you could get. If, for example, you contrast it with Seydelman’s sepia-wash Portrait of a Man (1777) an image in which the man’s face has been rendered with such technical finesse that it has the unblemished appearance of smooth white marble, it brings home just how far art had travelled in under two hundred years.

2.

But finally I’d like to talk about the picture which, for me, best sums up what drawing in its purist form can do.

The Viennese, early 20th Century artist Egon Schiele’s Portrait of a Girl (1917) literally says it all with just a few deftly placed lines. In fact its simplicity is what makes it such a great work. What the artist depicts is the girl’s intense but not unfriendly face boldly making eyecontact with us, and her hands, fingers entwined, resting neatly in her lap. But the rest of the girl, and her setting, are left to the viewer’s imagination. But the real significance of this work is that the artist wouldn’t have been able to pull off the same trick in a finished painting.

Schiele has complete confidence in both his own skills as a draughtsman and our skills at reading and completing the picture in our mind’s eye.You can even guess by the angle of her hands that one of her unrendered elbows was resting higher, on the arm of her unrendered chair, while the other, unsupported, languishes in her unrendered lap. It’s a bold and striking work, due to what he doesn’t show us, as much as what he does. And it could only have been achieved in the medium of drawing.

Had this been a painting we would have expected a more finished image, and there would have been no opportunity for the artist to demonstrate what magic he could achieve with just the whiteness of the paper and our own instinct for understanding the language of line to such a degree that we can finish the work ourselves.

But that’s why an exhibition like this is important. We are getting to see behind the scenes. Many of these works were probably never meant to be viewed by anyone but the artist themselves. They were simply steps along the line towards some finished work.Yet, paradoxically, they give us far more insight into the artist’s thought processes and stylistic idiosyncracies than any highly varnished oil painting could. In fact the drawing, at its most lucid, is nothing less than the artist’s signature recast as an image.

Howard Male Drawing Attention continues at the Dulwich Picture Gallery until 17 January 2010.

3.

1. Paul Gauguin,Tahitian Girl in Pink Pareu1894 gouache and watercolour transfer on laid paper © Art Gallery of Ontario 2.Vincent van Gogh,The Vicarage at Neunen: Seen from the Back, with the Artist’s Studio on the Right around 1884, graphite, pen and brown ink, brown wash, heightened with white on wove paper, © Art Gallery of Ontario 3. Egon Schiele, Portrait of a Girl 1917 black crayon on wove paper, © Art Gallery of Ontario

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Sue talks dirty...

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here are some people – though not us doughty horticulturalists at 'The Patch' – who feel that gardening is a strictly summer affair. Not at all. December is a great time to get down and dirty in the garden – a time for forward planning and replenishing the soil.

With the flower and vegetable beds clear of planting it is easy to mulch the soil (ie lay a good 2” or 3" of compost across the beds). This reaps massive rewards in the summer as it nourishes the earth with the added bonus that making your own compost is the most eco-friendly activity going.

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COMPOST. It can become a bit of an obsession – not only very economical (no more perilous trolley journeys from the back of the Penge Homebase with 5 jumbo bags of peat-free) but also splendid for the herbaceous borders. What is the secret of a good compost? How do you produce that sweet friable black stuff which enriches the meanest of soils? For me, the scaffold board (or its equivalent) is the key.

If you have the room in the farthest corner of the garden then a sturdy, slatted, three-sided 'pen' is excellent for nurturing your compost. Erect four posts at each corner of a square approx 4-5 feet in diameter. Between

these nail planks on three sides, leaving about six inches between each one. This allows air-flow round the heap which is essential for decomposition. I made the mistake in my garden of nailing the boards close together – leaving only an access point at the bottom – and it was not successful at all. The greenery lay stubbornly uncomposted within its planked confines.

It is a good idea to start the heap off with a layer of established compost.

To this can be added lawn trimmings, vegetable peelings, shredded paper and, of course, almost all of the spent greenery from the garden. Ensure that any long stalks are cut into shorter

..a regular watering with male urine is very beneficial.. pieces and I would not advise placing perennial weeds on the heap – especially not bindweed (convolvulus) as it has a science fiction style half-life, spawning prodigious green stringy growth from the tiniest piece of root.

Also woody stems and small branches from trees and shrubs are best burned or carted off to the tip.

system before the warmer weather requires it to throw its energies into producing foliage.

for the soul and provide essential preparatory work for the growing season.

In these short, dark days a few hours in the garden can be a tonic

Happy Gardening.

Sue Williams

The compost will benefit from being turned occasionally and some experts maintain that a regular watering with male urine is very beneficial but I have not tested this method.

Also ensure that the grass cuttings are interspersed with other types of vegetation as they are an excellent heating agent but left in a large heap they can turn into a slimy mess.

For those of you with neither the space nor the inclination to construct a plank compost heap there are several bins available – some at discount rates from the Council.

These are very effective and consume a vast amount of garden waste.

December is also a great time for a bit of forward planning. With the garden pared down to its bare bones it is a good opportunity to devise planning schemes for the beds. Indeed December is an excellent time to plant shrubs and bare-rooted hedges – as long as the ground is neither icy nor waterlogged. Dig a hole half as big again as the rootball of the plant.

Water the bottom of the hole well and layer in some compost. Place the shrub centrally and fill in the surrounding area with more compost ensuring that the plant is firmly secured. Planting at this time will allow the shrub to establish its root

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A PASSPORT TO SUNNY FOOD Nadia's tale of bungee jumps and chicken

A

n out of work actor is not a pretty sight and when I decided to leave Eastenders after 2 ½ years I was a) petrified I would never work again and b) terrified I’d be forever known as that ‘orrible Annie Palmer off the telly.

Everyone from producers to agents, canteen ladies to my aunties and uncles had all warned me that it can take years to shake off a soap character, so I was prepared for rather a lot of ‘out-of-work resting’ after I left Borehamwood studios for the last time. Luckily, as it turned out, I actually got very little rest.

Within a week of leaving Walford Square (in the obligatory black cab) I was immediately cast as a ‘loose woman’ for a brand new ITV series of the same name; a brilliantly simple concept where a group of ‘witty, articulate, ballsy birds’ (not my words) sit in a studio and ‘discuss’ whatever takes their fancy! Unbelievable, really, that we all got paid for it!

I had the time of my life and thanks to the brilliant Anchor Host, Kaye Adams, I received a crash course in becoming a TV presenter. Ironically, it was whilst appearing on ‘Loose Women’ that I then got spotted by the producer of a BBC show called Passport to

38

the Sun. Within a matter of almost weeks I was also asked to it – and so found myself on the pay roll for both nattering with other women, AND for travelling out to Majorca.

How could I refuse?! And, from here-on in, the rest, as they say, is history. Pretty much (apart from pausing to have my daughters) I haven’t looked back ,and have been presenting almost exclusively for the BBC for the past ten years!

For most of those ten years I’ve spent every summer in Spain filming a variety of different ‘sun’ programmes. If I had a pound for every time a member of the public has shouted out at me ‘some people get all the luck’ I’d be rich beyond my wildest dreams, but in actual fact anyone that does location filming will tell you, not only does it involve some very, very long hours in the stifling heat, often feeling very homesick; but, worst of all, everywhere you go, people are jumping into swimming pools, lounging on sun drenched beaches and indulging in long lunches!

I know you’re probably thinking ‘yeah, yeah, stop moaning’, but, honestly, it was tough! However, one of the best bits of being away (whenever we had quick breaks from filming) was, of course, the food! I simply fell in love with Spanish cuisine, and I especially became a real sucker for tapas, which became a perfect cuisine

designed for those twenty minute breaks between takes. Needless to say, I can consume the contents of an awful lot of plates of tapas in just twenty minutes!

GLORIOUSLY STICKY, GARLICKY (BUNGEE SPANISH-STYLE CHICKEN The first time I had this dish was at the end of quite possibly the worst filming day of the first series.

The director had literally begged me to do an insane bungee jump, that he was convinced would make for great viewing (and would also win him some brownie points with the producer). Well, eventually, very much against my will I agreed to do it; and, it was everything I feared it would be!

Having been bounced towards all four corners of Majorca’s coastline, when I finally landed with a painful bump, I was so utterly petrified, so pumped up with adrenalin and an extraordinary amount of rage, that I’m ashamed to say I attacked the poor director, raining him with punches.

Mortified and nervous he may have a mutiny on his hands; as a means of appeasement, he took myself and the crew (the poor cameraman had had to bungee jump too), out for a conciliatory dinner.

It worked. My fists ceased their assault, and we all cheered up considerably at the thought of food.Ten minutes later we were ensconced within a gorgeous Tapas bar by the sea. So, as the sun set over our now very merry table, we indulged in plate after plate of the most fantastic tapas yet. We ate and drank until we could no longer feel the pain (although my blood shot eyes from the whiplash, did present us with an enormous continuity dilemma!)

Anyway, this next chicken-dish, was one of my favourites from the night, I have tinkered with it a fair bit in order to try and recreate the exact flavour I remember. So, here’s the perfect Spanish Chicken Dish that simply must be eaten whenever you find yourself forced to do a bungee jump against your will.

Nadia Sawalha

INGREDIENTS • • • • • • • •

1 small chicken (ask your butcher to chop it into bite size pieces on the bone) 150ml olive oil 20 garlic cloves 200ml sherry Salt & black pepper Smoked paprika Flour for dredging Chopped parsley for garnish

METHOD Season your flour well with salt, pepper and paprika, and then roll your chicken pieces in it.

Heat the olive oil in a heavy pan. Once it ‘s hot, turn the heat down and gently fry the chicken until cooked through, about 6-10 minutes. Don’t overcrowd the pan; you might have to do it in more than one batch.

Now fry the garlic, skins and all, until light golden brown.

Pour in the sherry and turn up the heat to burn off the alcohol. Turn the heat down again and simmer nice and slowly until the sherry has disappeared, this will leave you with the tastiest oil ever, leave it to cool – if you can bear to – and eat with fingers. It goes without saying that all those delicious juices simply must be mopped up with some gorgeously rustic bread!

Aah, I love it.

39

The Spirit of Christmas Present

40

A Beginners' Guide to The Spirit of Christmas Present(s)

By Michael Eyre

W

ith the onset of that well known midwinter pagan festival that seems to have taken the nation by storm this year, I thought the least we could do would be to cast our eyes over the product that is most representative of this time of year.

These are only a small selection of what could be had, but believe me the words ‘iceberg’ and ‘tip’ instantly spring to mind.

All of these excellent drinks were bought from The Whisky Exchange in Vinopolis (www. thewhiskyexchange.com) where, on arriving, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The dying, primarily because I had just cycled there. The heaven, on the other hand, well just because it was there.

So, to start.

Bladnoch 17yr 55% Lowland (5cl. £6.49) Colour: Light straw.

Nose :Traces of citrus fruit, malty cereal and lavender.

Palate: Lovely sweet floral, almost dry grass flavours, with hints of a spicy liquorice finish.

With water: The spice and sweet cereal come to the fore making for a delicately light, sweet, and fragrant finish.

An excellent introduction to the wonders of Single Malt Whisky.

Dalmore 12yr 43% Highland (5cl. £3.99) Colour: Rich golden mahogany.

Nose: Aromatic spice and slightly burnt orange marmalade.

Palate: Elegant and rich with sherry, vanilla and fat citrus fruits leading to a lovely long finish.

With water: Possibly not this time.

Springbank 15yr 46% Cambletown (5cl £5.99) Colour: Light amber.

Nose: Hints of sherry, dark chocolate, Christmas cake & oak.

Palate: Creamy dried fruits and vanilla. Leading to an oaky and leathery finish. Classic, post dinner drinking.

With water: Brings out a level of spice and a subtle sherry edge.

Old Pulteney 12yr 40% Highland (most northern distillery) (5cl £3.29) Colour: Red amber.

Nose: Hard fruits, pears, apples.

A touch of oak and an edge of butterscotch.

Palate: Accessible. Smooth and rounded with hints of vanilla and a medium finish.

With water: Brings out some spice on the nose and intensifies the almost sweet vanilla finish. Good light drinking.

Bowmore 12yr 40% Islay (5cl £3.99) Colour: Warm amber.

Nose: The peat is here, with a soupcon of honey, pears and lemon.

Palate: A heather honey sweetness mixed with chocolate and pear, and a smoky, citric bouquet. Leading to a long, light, fresh, clean finish.

With water: releasing the underlying citrus flavours and enhancing the peat.

Glendronach15yr 46% Speyside (5cl £5.49) Colour: Deep gold.

Nose: Concentrated aromas of toffee, and orange chocolate.

Palate: Full bodied, dark and chewy. And still there.

With water: Softens and elongates. Excellent.

Ardbeg 10yr 46% Islay (5cl £3.49) Colour: Clean straw.

Nose: Fabulous smoke with a splatching of underlying tar.

Palate: Stunning peaty smoke flavours and robust wafts of turf with subtle hints of Lapsang Souchong tea. Finishing with a long briny and peaty pong.

Truly, nectar of the gods.

With water: Or not, as is your wont.

Do this. Till then.

Michael

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Y

ou very nearly didn’t get a restaurant review this month because we all felt a little weak in the face of all those bombastic Christmas menus, bustling with courses with three kinds of bloated cranberry, and apologetic onion tarts for the vegbos. But the fact remained, there was one face that needed stuffing whilst out spending the Palace pound on presents. Mine. So we set about thinking what makes the triangle festive for us now that all that is left of Woolies is a ghastly fascia and a dead bluebottle and immediately agreed that what we look forward to is the gorgeous display outside this famous grub stop.

42

All year round us lucky locals get to enjoy the generosity of their doorstep floral pageant, then in December their flowers actually begin to chime with divine, cautious little bells. Sublime.

Then we remembered that once upon a time when the bookshop had real live employees that weren’t blood relatives under the age of ten, who were busy enough to follow a rota and maintain an accurate float, we actually went there for our staff Christmas dinner.

What could be kinder to the weary yuletide shopper than forsaking the grey drizzle streaked traffic and irritating chuggers for the warm, delicate flavours served up beneath a technicolour panopoly of parasols.

That’s not to say this is a serene place

for quiet rumination. Sometimes it is bursting in the evening and their clever lunchtime deals ensure that it is one of the few local joints that is also busy in the afternoon. .

We booked. And then realised that our “babysitter” had the temerity to agree to be elsewhere earning proper Christmas quids, so we were forced to take the other two kids we own.

Thrilled at getting one up on their big sister, there are never any complaints from our notoriously ravenous and humungously picky offspring. They knew what they wanted to start: the Thai platter always has something for everyone, from sweet crisp corn fritters and peppery spring rolls loaded with cabbage to frothy tempura prawns with tail spikes for

TamNaG Thai sucking and juicy blobs of sesame toast, and firm cakes of fish and of rice. Embarrassingly, the sculpted carrot garnish gets eaten too. Not, I hasten to add, by anyone over five foot.

Not content with this attractive wheel served on a banana leaf, the bookseller insisted he needed something rigorous to get the warmth back into his toes and ordered a chopped chicken salad with chilli and lime dressing. Ahem. It was as if the elegantly attired waitress had crept daintily beneath the sturdy table and set fire to his feet. In fact, his nose hasn’t stopped running since - it took several chilled Singha beers before his voice box had recovered sufficiently enough to croak: “Tissue please..”

He left his tongue out to dangle for sometime after that while the children played with the curled cutlery, the novelty of which never fails to send them chinging to the floor just as the waiter in a stiff jacket is about to surprise an adjacent diner with a shy date by setting his food alight. We always recommend the Volcano Chicken to Tamnag rookies – the woof as the cognac goes up is a real room stopper as the combination of flames and red cheeks keeps the entire restaurant entertained.

But time to stop staring and get back to our own main courses. The bookseller had the foresight to go for the milder chicken curry with potatoes and coconut, therefore regaining the power of speech during

which he learned that his son’s guitar lessons were going well. “The good news is, dad,” Fred replying to the question of progress, “I can now play Smoke on the Water.” A handy tune to have about your person at nine years old, we sighed. The small boy opted for a man-sized dish of satay accompanied by egg fried rice while his sister satisfied several culinary obsessions with a green mango salad that came with fried tofu, chilli, coconut and shallot. Toss in Robert Pattinson and it would’ve been a perfect ten. The chef emerged just at the moment she popped a sliver of spiced fruit into her mouth and stopped at our table transfixed by her ecstatic expression. When she opened her eyes, it was her turn to be surprised.

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I succeeded in ordering, possibly for the first time in my many visits here, the yellow seafood curry that I always anticipate but never get thanks to my inability to pick the correct number on the menu.You are looking at someone who has eaten just about every combo of marine life in here, in all sorts of delicious disguises, but for whom the glossy dream of scallop, mussels, crab and bamboo shoots sloshing about in a sweet coconut sauce has, until today, remained elusive. With it, I went for the light jasmine rice despite Willa imploring me to go for the variety that comes served in half a pineapple. With her it is always show-time.

Tonight it was scorchingly busy - nobody gave a flying about my prominent notebook – and between courses, the children amused

44

themselves with a loud game of You Are So Fat: “You’re so fat that when you play Smoke on the Water, your boat sinks!” “You’re so fat that Edward Cullen would get his mouth stuck open if he tried to bite you!”

But it is a great place to take the family because the peripheral action absorbs the bickering. And hey, it would have been too easy a review to write if I’d been able to hear myself think.

Desserts include the always impressively fashioned sorbets in frosted fruit shells and when we come without the dwarves, we usually enjoy a dignified South African chenin blanc that stands up well to the spice and herb. Quite aside from being an exciting place to refuel, the gilded décor and authentic stone carvings (such as the one beside us featuring

some fine pert female Jordans that had the children giggling into their prawn crackers), the flowers and brilliant spectrum of parasols surely make it the prettiest Thai restaurant in London. It always feels like a treat when we come to the Tamnag.

Which is how dinners out should be, whatever the price. Even with the children. “See that gold Buddha?

You’re so fat, you made him cry ‘cos you’re even fatter than him!”

Justine Crow

Tamnag Thai 50-54 Westow Hill Crystal Palace SE19 1RX 020 8761 5959 www.tamnagthai.com

With Eight ales on tap, we have the biggest range of real ales in Crystal Palace* • • • •

Free Live Jazz every Sunday from 2pm - 4.30pm Homecooked food served daily, Sunday Roasts Christmas Buffets available to suit every taste and every budget Quiz night every Wednesday 8pm

The Grape & Grain

*Supporters of the LOCALE scheme *Discount for CAMRA members Classic Pub games including Bar Billiards, Darts, Dominoes and table skittles Wide selection of bottled beers, wines, spirits and unusual continental Lagers

2 Anerley Hill Crystal Palace SE19 2AA 020 8778 8211 www.thegrapeandgrainse19.co.uk Transport 2 mins Crystal Palace railway 1 min Crystal Palace bus station

45

THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! THIS TIME AROUND HOWARD MALE BRINGS YOU SOME MUCH-NEEDED BRAZILIAN SUNSHINE, SOME WINTERY CROSS FERTILISATION, A BLAST OF MALIAN FUNK, AND A GUARANTEED FLOOR-FILLER FOR YOUR NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY.

A

ny regular readers of this column (hello Mum!) might begin to suspect I’m getting a bit of a backhander from Brazilian singer Ceu’s publicity department. I gave her debut album a rave review here, then I was even more impressed by a collaborative project called Sonantes. And now here’s the new album, and once again you’re going to hear nothing but praise. Vagarosa (Six Degrees Records) is a sublime, sonically adventurous reinvention of bossa nova and samba which incorporates elements of dub reggae, Afrobeat, rock and trip-hop in a way that is never laboured or contrived. It also manages to be simultaneously coolly detached and warmly inviting – no easy trick to pull off.

But if you are looking for a more seasonally appropriate chunk of world music adventurousness than the ever-sunny Ceu, then look no further than the locally grown band, Les Triaboliques. They consist of three seasoned musicians, Justin Adams, Ben Mandelson and Lu Edmonds, whose combined CV includes spells with such big names as Robert Plant, Magazine, and PIL. The title of their debut effort, Rivermudtwilight (World Circuit Records) gives you a hint at the kind of atmosphere they have aimed at achieving, and there is certainly a darker more autumnal vibe to proceedings.

46

Records) has captured the intense energy and atmosphere of their gigs far more successfully than its predecessor.

They may delve into styles as diverse as Bo Diddley, English folk music and Cuban funk but the overall atmosphere is still one of either barely suppressed menace or wryly philosophical melancholy. Or to put it more succinctly, if you like Tom Waits this may also be up your darkened side street.

If The Transmitter had been around in 2007, when Bassekou Kouyate and Ngoni ba’s debut was released, I would have raved about that in these pages too. It was my favourite album of that year. But now here’s the follow-up. And while it can’t possibly have quite the same impact (which stemmed from the fact that - like everyone else - I’d never heard anything quite like it before) it has other advantages. This Malian band proved themselves to be even more exciting live than on that first record (you may have seen them on BBC2’s Later) and I Speak Fula (Out Here

Finally, a compilation. Or rather, a series of compilations the latest of which is called Panama!3 (Soundways Records).

No need to tell you what the previous two are called, but what is impressive is that although these CDs plunder an obviously limited supply of material from the 1960s and 70s, rather than the quality dropping with each successive release (as can so often happen) this latest release is, if anything, the best of the three. If you like vintage tropical beats that incorporate funk, Cumbia and various other Latin American, Caribbean and European styles this should rock your canoe too.

But this isn’t just mindless dance music: each track seems to go off on a different musical adventure. Then there’s the fact that the sleeve notes are well written and informative, and, given the age of the recordings, the sound quality is superb. To employ a lazy, but in this case accurate, music journalist’s clichéd concluding statement: It’s guaranteed to keep your New Year’s Eve party groovin’ til dawn. Peace! (and good will to all men.)

Howard Male

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The Bookseller "You Could always start with The Norwood builder."

I

n June 1891 Arthur Conan Doyle abandoned his medical practice in Upper Wimpole Street in central London, where due to a lack of customers he had found plenty of time to work on his burgeoning career as a writer, and moved with his family to 12 Tennison Road, South Norwood.

The house was a three-storey, gabled red-brick villa with sixteen rooms and a walled garden and here, once settled, he began in earnest to earn a living entirely by his pen. In July 1891 Strand magazine published A Scandal in Bohemia and thereafter every month for the next twelve the magazine featured an adventure of Sherlock Holmes. The detective quickly captured the imagination of the public like no other fictional character had done before, people queued at the newsagents on the day that a new issue

48

was due, and George Newnes editor of the Strand would soon estimate that Conan Doyle’s name on the cover could guarantee him an extra 100,000 sales.

This year marks the 150 anniversary of Conan Doyle’s life and to celebrate there are a number of new editions of the Sherlock Holmes stories to choose from. Penguin publishes, in addition to their well-designed uniform paperback series, a new collected edition (£30.00).Vintage classics also publish a handsome collected edition (£25.00) as do Wordsworth books (£9.99). Who wouldn’t want one of these for Christmas? And what better way to ward off a damp January than an evening spent in the company of Holmes and Watson - you could always start with The Norwood Builder. Or possibly you would prefer to while away your winter evening with something a bit more contemporary, if so, then in keeping with our current issue, Ghoul Britannia By Andrew Martin (Short Books £12.99) should do the trick, being an investigation into the supernatural and all things ghostly across our, possibly, haunted isle.

Wes Anderson (whose films feature very high up the list in one of the comedy books of the year, Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander (Hardie Grant Books £7.99)) recently directed the Fantastic Mr Fox (Puffin illustrated edition £7.99) from the celebrated children’s story

by Roald Dahl. Commenting on the seventies-style banana-seat bicycle that features in the film he has said, in a very Dahl-like way, that he, ‘wanted to

make a children’s movie like some of the ones I grew up with. And that went with the idea that you didn’t have to wear helmets when you rode bicycles.

I never wore a helmet, and, in a way, the movie is for children who don’t wear helmets when they ride bicycles.

Maybe that sounds terrible. I support children wearing helmets on their bicycles – there’s just a certain nostalgia for when they didn’t. For when we didn’t’. Whatever the outcome of the film, there is no doubting Anderson’s meticulous preparation, even living for a time in Dahl’s house when he wrote the script, and the book The Making of Fantastic Mr Fox (Rizzoli £22.50) has to be one of my favourite books of the year, an absolutely brilliant choice for anybody interested in film and animation and miles better than the usual blockbuster tie-in nonsense.

Another famous children’s book given the blockbuster treatment this autumn is Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are (Red Fox £6.99) which deserves a special mention as the director Spike Jonze joined the Crystal Palace cinema campaign and famously even wore the Tshirt. Top man. The film hasn’t been released at the time of writing but the trailer is amazing. The script is co-written by Dave Eggers of McSweeney’s and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, fame, and he has written a novel The Wild Things (Hamish Hamilton £14.99) to go alongside it. There are also a number of fun tie-in books for younger children, including a very good looking jigsaw puzzle book (Harpercollins £9.99). Let the wild rumpus begin!

If you know any children past the age of scribbling who are interested in art, then the chances are that you will have come across the current passion, be it for reading it or creating it, for all things manga - the Japanese cartoon style that encompasses stories from the very young to the very, very adult and that has, according to the Rough Guide to Manga (Penguin £11.99) since the twelfth century, captivated a whole nation. The common description of Osamu Tezuka, the founding father of modern day manga is as 'the Walt Disney of Japan'. The creator, perhaps most famously, of Astro Boy (again, look out for the big budget film coming in January 2010) he produced over 170,000 pages of comic art in around 700 different manga titles and worked on over 70 animated movies, TV shows, and experimental films. The Art Of Osamu Tezuka God of Manga (Ilex £25.00) is a fantastic book that will never be bettered and it also includes a DVD documentary of the man at work.

Of course, it goes without saying that we have a large range of manga titles to suit all tastes, Naruto, Death Note and Fruits Basket et al, as well as the very popular series of manga Shakespeare (no, really) and plenty of books on how to do it too – any one of which will make you a very popular santa indeed.

Of course, there is also a western tradition of comic books, too, and if you know anybody who is a fan of Asterix or Tintin then The Rainbow Orchid, being The Adventures of Julius Chancer by Garen Ewing (Scholastic £6.99) should be just the ticket.

Comic books, of course, are for grownups too, and two of the best this autumn are Robert Crumb’s straightforward, but still at times, eye-popping, illustrating of The Book of Genesis (Jonathan Cape £18.99) and Logicomix subtitled, An Epic Search for Truth (Bloomsbury £16.99) which manages to tell the story of the early life of Bertrand Russell and his quest to establish the logical foundations of all mathematics and still be hugely entertaining. Graffiti, too, remains ever popular and Graffiti New York (Thames and Hudson £19.99) is sure to be a hit with any tyro wall artist.

Laura Dockrill, graduate of the Brit school, was named by The Times as one of the top 10 literary stars of 2008, called ‘the poet of the iPod generation’

by The Independent and voted one of Elle magazine's hot faces to watch out for in 2009. She draws pictures and tells stories and writes poems to Rolf Harris and we love her. Her two books are Mistakes in the Background (Harpercollins £8.99) and Ugly Shy Girl (Harpercollins £6.99) and the good news is we usually have beautifully, uniquely, signed copies for you to buy.

Or perhaps you know a budding fashion designer, if so, then My Wonderful World of Fashion by Nina Chakrabarti (Laurence King £12.99) subtitled A Book for Drawing, Creating and Dreaming, full of beautifully drawn adventurous half-finished pictures and design prompts, should prove popular.

Or maybe you have a budding astronaut in the family? If so the latest re-issue in the ever-popular series of children’s

picture books by the Czech author and illustrator M Sasek, This is the Way to the Moon, (Universe £10.99) should do the trick.

Long-term resident of 52 Festive Street, Mr Benn also takes a turn as an astronaut in The Extraordinary Adventures of Mr Benn (Hodder £10.99) a nostalgic compendium of some of his best escapades.

Once upon a time there were three fierce robbers. They went about hidden under large black capes and tall black hats begins the classic The Three Robbers by Tomi Ungerer (Phaidon £9.99) but don’t worry, because one day they encounter an orphan girl named Tiffany, who isn’t scared of them at all – this is another welcome, and nostalgic, re-issue from an author who in France has a museum dedicated to him.

Finally to complement the large number of cookbooks published this autumn – a favourite of which is, I Know How to Cook by Ginette Mathiot (Phaidon £24.99) a French cookery bible translated into English for the first time – Ganapati the south Indian Kitchen restaurant based in Peckham have produced a lovely box of 40 recipe cards (£25.00) and a couple of delicious, beetroot and garlic, pickles (£4.50) to go with them.Yum.

Jonathan Main WIN A FREE BOOK! including a signed copy of Stewart Copeland's new book. Win your one at: www.thetransmitter.co.uk

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Do you dig p la

?... s t n

Capel Manor College We are London’s only specialist college for landbased studies. Full-time courses in Animal Care and part-time courses in Horticulture are offered at our centre in Crystal Palace Park. Come and have a look around and speak to staff at the

Open Day

Saturday 16 January

Prospectus 2010 -2011

OUT NOW!

ou handle Can y a

12-4pm

Call us for your copy on 08456 122122 email enquiries@capel.ac.uk visit www.capel.ac.uk/prospectus

Capel Manor College Crystal Palace Park, Ledrington Road SE19 2BS Tel 020 8778 5572 www.capel.ac.uk/crystalpalace

als?... m ni

WHAt's ON Crystal Palace Christmas Festival

Saturday 28 November Shows and Events Antenna Studios Haynes Lane

Living Waters Café Westow Street

Music The Alma 95 Church Road

Art Show

Fashion show, live music & artworks from 7.30pm

The Hipster Ray

The Alma

Vien

Blockbusters (outside)

95 Church Road

The Alma Garden Market lots of christmas shopping treats plus

Santa's Grotto The White Hart 96 Church Road

The Scissors Paper Rock Craft Market The Scissors Paper Rock Craft Market returns featuring some of the most exciting and compelling arts and crafts for sale in London. Expect Jewellery, Clothes, Stationery, Arts, Hats, Games and lots more lovely unique work just in time for Christmas!

Upper Norwood Library 39-41 Westow Hill

2.00 pm The Collie Wobbles Magic Show

This is a mixture of fast moving and colourful comedy entertainment that's jam packed from start to finish with audience participation and laughter.

87 Church Road

Fashion events throughout the day.

Live from 8.30pm

Westow Street

The Endurance Steel Orchestra 11 am - 2pm 10 piece steel section

Phoenix Centre 66 Westow Street www.phoenixcrystalpalace.org

Frost Fayre

11 am - 5pm

Popular Frost Fayre and themed market for essential gifts and Christmas treats.

2009 is extra special, as the Centre will be celebrating its 25th anniversary. On the hour throughout the day, there will be a champagne raffle : your entrance ticket could be a winner! This year the Phoenix Community Centre will support the London Air Ambulance Service and aim to improve on the stellar £800 raised at last years event for St. Christopher’s Hospice. Refreshments available for weary shoppers and those waiting for the hourly champagne raffle to be drawn!

Admission 50p includes raffle

The Grape & Grain 2 Anerley Hill, SE19 2AAn

Brazil

4pm - 7pm - Bossa, Salsa, Latin, Jazz

Mid-life Crisis

9pm - 12am- Blues, Rock

The White Hart 96 Church Road

South London Jazz Orchestra The Effras

3.30 pm Cinderella and the Stinky Slipper

a seasonal family show presented by the Barking Dog Theatre Company. The actors use puppets, audience participation, lots of action and songs so that children of all ages can can join in with all the time-honoured pantomime traditions.

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WHAt's ON Send your listings information to: listings@thetransmitter.co.uk

COMEDY Gipsy Hill Comedy

MUSIC Antenna Studios

Black Sheep Bar 23 Westow Hill, SE19 1TQ 07758 521 378 www.gipsyhillcomedy.co.uk Every other Friday at 8.30pm Tickets £7adv/£8 on door

Haynes Lane SE19 3AN

The HOB Comedy opposite Forest Hill station 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill SE23 3HE 020 8855 0496

Thursday 3 December Celebrity Pub Quiz

9pm £2 Comedy duo Chambers & Nettleton as quizmasters

Saturday 5 December Stand Up Comedy

9pm £9/£6 Iain Sterling mc, Rob Rouse, Pappy’s Fun Club and Jack Whitehall

Monday 7 December The All New Stand up Show

8pm £3 Headline acts perform New Material. Acts include Micky Flanagan, Rob Rouse, Charmian Hughes, Addy van der Borgh, Stephen Carlin, Liam Mullone, Andrew Bird, Gordon Southern, Chris Neill and Daniel Kitson amongst others…

Thursday 10 December Celebrity Pub Quiz

9pm £2 A different comedian or actor as quizmaster each week.

Saturday 12 December Stand Up Comedy

9pm £9/£6concs Aaron Counter, Matthew Osborn, Rob Heeney and Gordon Southern

Monday 14 December The All New Stand Up Show 8pm £3 Open mic night for new acts

Thursday 17 December Christmas Celebrity Pub Quiz

9pm £3 Come and join us for our annual festive quiz with four celebrity Quizmasters

Saturday 19 December Stand Up Comedy 9pm £9/£6 Iain Sterling as mc, Michael Fabbri, Shazia Mirza and Inder Manocha

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Saturday 12 December The Peryls' Victorian Christmas Extraordinarium The Peryls will bring their own unique, twisted creation to Antenna Studios.

Celebrating the launch of their new EP I Have Not Slept One Wink, The Crystal Palace folk noir outfit will headline a night of music, mirth and madness. Eat, drink, arm-wrestle, be merry and above all have fun in a part of Victorian London that we're almost certain never existed.

5.30pm, FREE admission, dress Victorian!*

The Grape & Grain 2 Anerley Hill, SE19 2AAn

FREE JAZZ SUNDAYS 1.30pm - 4pm

The HOB Music Live Music

Fridays free entry , bands starts at 10pm . Bar till 2am

Friday 4 December Bare Bones Boogie band

Friday 11 December Life of Brian

Friday 18 December

St John the Evangelist Auckland Road/Sylvan Road SE19 2RX 020 8653 3305

Saturday 28 November Croydon Bach Choir Golden Jubilee Concert Handel - Coronation Anthems Haydn - Little Organ Mass Purcell - Hail! Bright Cecilia Conductor: Tim Horton 7.30pm £9 & concessions available

Saturday 5 December Jubilate Choir Handel - Ode for St. Cecelia's Day Bach - Cantata No 140 Christmas Carols; Conductor: Janet Haney 7.30pm £9 & concessions available

Wednesday 16 December Traditional Nine Lessons and Carols by candlelight - 8pm Free

Christ Church Gipsy Hill1 Highland Road, London SE19 1DP

Sunday 20 December Festival of nine lessons and carols at 8pm

ART & CRAFT Gipsy Hill Workshops 14 Paddock Gardens, SE193SB www.jewellerybypeterspilsbury.com

Friday 27 November Open Studios 7.30pm until late Including: Music Fashion Show - Art Installation - drinks

Raindog featuring Siobhan Parr

Sunday 29 November

Friday 31 December

Saturday 5 December

Strange Fashion

New Year's Eve party £10

Sundays Live jazz at 6pm

Horniman Museum 100 London Road Forest Hill London SE23 3PQ 020 8699 1872 www.horniman.ac.uk

Sunday 13 December Christmas Carol Concert

Horniman Museum, Bandstand in the Gardens.

Admission Free.

3 – 6pm

Sunday 6 December Open Studios Including: Jewellery, clothes & ceramics

ay and Sunday, 5 and 6 December 2009 6pm

tell Road ulwich SE21 8EN Havelock Walk Studios

Parkhall

Havelock Walk, SE23 3HG www.havelockwalk.com

40 Martell Road West Dulwich London SE21 8EN www.parkhall.org.uk

Friday 11 December Open Studios

Opening Night 7-9pm. Havelock Walk is opening its doors for Open Studios. - come and discover this hidden creative hub in Forest Hill. Music, mulled wine and a prize draw for the chance to win original artworks.

Saturday 12 December Open Studios 11-5pm 5

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Sunday 13 December Open Studios 11-5pm

WHAt's ON

Saturday 5 December Sunday 6 December OpenStudios ideas for Christmas 10am-6pm

Rockmount School 7 Rockmount Main Hall SE19 3ST

Saturday 5 December 12-4pm Handmade Holiday Christmas Craft Fair

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ARTS LECTURES 14 15 Dulwich Picture Gallery Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich

Custom T-Shirts, Promotional Items SE21 7AD Babywear and gifts

F01 ground floor

020 8299 8750 - friendsticketing@ F33C 3rd floor dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk

Fragrant Gifts and CandlesNew Year Lectures C32 3rd floor Original Paintings Glassblowing Studio

The Canvas Ceiling Women C34- 3rd floor Artists through the Ages.

(Tuesday Evening Lecture Series) C33 3rd floor

The Linbury Room 7.45pm £10, £8

Exciting Contemporary Glass C33 3rd floor £50, £40 for the series

Contemporary ChandeliersTuesdays 12 ,19, C34 floor 263rd January and 2, 16, 23 February hool Fund (Malawi) Designer charity Christmas cards C34 3rd floor

ry

Inspirational Artists Groups

(An InSight Series) Handmade gifts & ceramics

C34 3rd floor

The Linbury Room, 10.30 to 11.30 am

Gourmet Coffee Supplier

Series of 3 £25, SingleC34 lecture3rd £10floor

Carpenter

27 January

Photography

The Camden Town Group, Robert C34 floor Upstone, Curator of3rd Modern British Art,Tate

C34 3rd floor

Framing, Painting, Mosaics C34 3rd floor 3 February Decorative Window film &The accessories C34Chris 3rd floor St Ives Group, Stevens,

VINTAGE FASHION 8 Crown and Greyhound 9 The Dulwich Village SE21 7BJ

Sunday 29 November Dulwich Vintage Fashion Fair

Vintage clothing and accessories from the1920's to the 1980's for sale. 11am - 5 pm Free16after 12pm £2 before 17 Info@loveyourvintage.com

WALK Crystal Palace Park

020 8676 4596

www.oliveandmoss.com Monday 30th November Remember, remember the fire in www.himalaya-uk.com November!

info@colliercampbell.com The Crystal Palace fire 83rd anniversary will be commemorated on the site of the old (Crystal Palace Parade) 7pm. Bring a torch and camera as we go searching for the ghost of ‘screaming www.charlottesaleglass.com alice’ and the spirit of Joseph Paxton

www.michaelruh.com palace. Meet at the bus station

www.roastdesigns.co.uk

Contact: josephpaxton@hotmail.com

www.ganetsadventureschool.org 020 8778 1865 tuesdaypots@hotmail.co.uk kurt@fullsteamespresso.com donmac.furniture@gmail.com info@contre-jour.co.uk www.rebucheli.co.uk www.emmajeffs.co.uk

Curator of Modern British Art, Hand-printed textile products C31A 3rd floor Tate

www.amyaardvark.co.uk

Leather Bags and Jewellery10 February C31A 3rd floor

www.louisebuchan.com

The Group of Seven, Anodised aluminium jewellery C31AIan 3rdDejardin floor

www.michaelpeckitt.com

Director Dulwich Picture Gallery

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PANTO South London Theatre 2a Norwood High Street, West Norwood, SE27 9NS Box Office 020 8670 3474

December Dick Whittington

A little known theatre gold mine is sitting under your nose in West Norwood. When passing the old Fire Station, which also serviced the Crystal Palace area, you would be forgiven for not noticing signs for the South London Theatre; and yet it is one of the most prolific and inventive sites for amateur theatre in London. As a members’ club performingh 22 shows a year, there is so much to get involved with; be it acting, being part of a production team, or joining the Youth Group – and don’t forget the social club and bar opens every night!

become a member of SLT! December’s hot ticket is our Pantomime, Dick Whittington.

This is no ordinary panto, and promises to be hilarious fun for all; with actor puppets, great music, and talking rats! Call our box office to reserve your seats now on 020 8670 3474; it will be your best bargain purchase this Christmas!

If you are interested in joining as a member, you will be able to participate in any of our productions, and gain access to the members bar and social events. We will be holding more auditions in January, and throughout 2010; come along any Wednesday at 8pm to find out more, or go to: www.southlondontheatre.co.uk.

January 2010 The 2010 season kicks off with two excellent plays in January: Mojo

by Jez Butterworth, a fast-paced gangster play set in Soho, and Ladies Down Under by Amanda Whittington, a warm and amusing play about four women's trip of a lifetime to Australia following a lucky win at Royal Ascot.

Stanley Halls South Norwood Hill SE25 6AB Box Office: 020 8393 3640

January LOST MAN’S CHEST

This brand new panto (written by a member of the St. Mark's Players) bears all the hallmarks of a traditional St. Mark’s family pantomime; full of fun, action, romance, the triumph of good over evil and…..you guessed it…plenty of slapstick and the ever-popular audience participation!

Join Cap’n Will and his crew of hapless pirates for their swashbuckling adventure aboard ‘The Drunken Mermaid’ as they fight with the evil Queen Phryggia’s guards to win back the lost treasure. Featuring music from Grease, The Little Mermaid, Muppet’s Treasure Island, along with fairies and pirates in colourful costume, this is pantomime at its best!

In 2009 St. Mark's Players raised in excess of £1,500 for charity. In this, their 51st year, a share of the profits will go to St. Christopher’s Hospice and Demelza Hospice for Children in South East England,

FILM Crystal Palace Pictures Gypsy Hill Tavern 79 Gipsy Hill SE19 1QH

Thursday 10 December In The Loop

Dir. Armando Iannucci 2009 Peter Capaldi, Tom Hollander, James Gandolfini

Thursday 17 December

A Christmas movie of your choice – public vote!

Thursday 7 January In Search of a Midnight Kiss

Christmas Movie? It has to be Capra's It's a Wonderful Life

Dir. Alex Holdridge 2008 Scoot McNairy, Sara Simmonds

Thursday 21 January Man On Wire

Dulwich Picture Gallery

St. Mark’s Players

Lost M an’‛s Che st

Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD

Monday 14 December Winstanley (1975)

Dir. Kevin Brownlow, Cert PG 95 minutes Introduction and Q&A with Kevin Brownlow One of the most authentic recreations of the Civil War era ever filmed.

Includes free wine and food kindly supplied by Le Chandelier. Free raffle prize. £8, £6 Friends

Sunday 6 December Gallery Film for Kids Treasure Island (1950)

Saturday 23rd January 2010 at 2.30pm and 7.30pm Sunday 24th January 2010 at 2.30pm Friday 29th January 2010 at 7.30pm Saturday 30th January 2010 at 2.30pm & 7.30pm

Dir. Byron Haskin Cert U 96 minutes 3.45pm Robert Newton, Never a dull moment, an adventure classic for all . Wear a parrot or a pirate hat – prizes for dressing up. £4 Free juice and popcorn (no rum)

SWEETS, REFRESHMENTS, LICENSED BAR, WHEELCHAIR ACCESS

This year St. Mark‛s Players is supporting St. Christopher‛s Hospice and The Demelza Children‛s Hospice

The Stanley Halls

South Norwood Hill - London SE25 6AB

Tickets - £6.50 Group discounts

BOX OFFICE 020-8393 3640 or 020-8240 9378 www.smplayers.co.uk

Pieces of eight (year olds) Plenty of Pirate fun for kids

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Crystal Palace local with luxurious private family home in idyllic southern Spanish village for long and short-term let.

Andalucian mountain setting; self-catering; wonderful for friends; families; writers; artists; stressed out Londoners; from £133 per person per week (based on 9 people sharing for 7 nights – 4 doubles; 1 single); swimming pool; fully air conditioned; central heating; fireplace; wood burning stove; two reception areas; books, games, DVDs, CDs; Bose docking station; dining table for10; all linen and towels provided. www.royalestreet.co.uk Tel: 02089163411 or 07785 296 652 – erin.cabrey@yahoo.co.uk

Join our Crystal Palace network!

Find someone close by to exchange your skills with and get something done for nothing! * Get your skills listed * Promote yourself in the Triangle * Ask & answer local knowledge questions * Swap skills with Crystal Palace members Local community members have over 50 skills to offer, ranging from dog walking to design.

Join the localskillswap community and exchange your skills to get something done for nothing.

Think about what you have to offer and join forces with other local members at

www.localskillswap.com 56

Bespoke, sumptuous dresses that are as special as the celebration…

• Classic cocktail frocks for all occasions • Wedding dresses in glorious colours that will be long remembered Call Catherine Shaw The Overspill 4 cOOpers yard crysTal palace lOndOn se19 1Tn Tel: 07764 196 284

www.allboneandtrimit.co.uk

If your job is threatened…

ADVERTISING

beggco@aol.com 020 8771 3644

Specialists in Personal tax and Small businesses www.beggco.co.uk

SDB Fencing Closeboard, Panels, Trellis and Gates Supply, Installation and repairs Portfolio of work

Free estimates

020 8771 5543

24 Church Road London SE19 2ET

To advertise in this really popular bi-monthly magazine

Chartered Certified Accountants

sales@thetransmitter.co.uk

Begg, Williamson & Co

…don’t compromise on legal advice When your employer is ending your employment, you need specialist advice to protect your rights and maximise your entitlements.

At Bennett Welch Solicitors we have extensive experience of advising on the termination of employment, including redundancy, and on Compromise Agreements, whether simple or complex.

We provide a fast and efficient service and can normally see you within 24 hours of receiving your call.

If you cannot attend our offices, we can advise by telephone and email.

Your employer normally contributes towards your legal costs so you may not have to pay any costs at all.

We act for and advise employees and employers on all aspects of the employment relationship, including:

Norwood Exiles Cricket Club

We are a local club, with a Saturday league side and Sunday friendly side.

- Dismissals - Discrimination - Contracts - Maternity & Paternity - Equal Pay Call Daniel Muckle on 020 8670 6141 if you think we can help you.

We are looking for new players for 2010.

We are also looking for sponsors for the new season.

Interested? Please contact: john@entryphone.co.uk

Bank Chambers, Westow Hill, Upper Norwood, London, SE19 1TY

www.bennettwelch.com

I’d like to see the 2nd place

STOP PRESS

by economycustard.co.uk

Bring Back the Bees!

Come along to a Wildlife work day in Westow Park on 29 November to help create a native woodland area. The Friends of Westow Park will be laying new paths, planting native trees and erecting “bug towers” in a bid to attract birds, butterflies and insects, including stag beetles.

A new hedge will include Hawthorn where it is hoped birds will nest, as well as fruit trees and bushes. There will also be a huge selection of bulbs and seeds planted in the ground under the trees.

This means that from next spring there will be plenty of flowers to attracts bees and butterflies.

© simon sharville 2009

The new woodland area will transform what is known locally as “the boggy triangle” where French novelist Emile Zola is rumoured to have spent many hours writing in the late 1890s when he lived in Crystal Palace.

From 10.00 am to 3.00 pm

Contact us now to arrange your free valuation

45-47 westow hill 45 - 47 Westow Hill crystal palace Crystal Palace SE19 London, SE191TS 1TS

Winkworth Winkworth Crystal Palace 020 8655 9530 residential sales

Residential Sales residential lettings Residential lettings propertymanagment management Property

tel: 020 8655 9530

Email: crystalpalace@winkworth.co.uk email: crystalpalace@winkworth.co.uk winkworth.co.uk web: winkworth.co.uk for thousands of properties to buy and rent