How to watch Rugby like a pro (or at least like a medium ugly white man from Dalkey)

It's Six Nations season! Do you have zero interest in watching sweaty grown men fight over a ball but don’t want to feel left out? Don’t worry, we got you. Here’s our foolproof, tried-and-tested guide to getting through this rugby season like a professional (spectator, that is, not player).

What to wear:

The typical rugby-enjoyer also enjoys a very specific dress style. If we’re going to be cisnormative about this (which is a key aspect of rugby culture) - for the guys, the go-to is a rugby jersey and chinos, for the ladies, anything that’s green but also reminds everyone you’re hot and NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS, YOU’RE A SPORTY GIRL, is perfect. Failing this, anything that screams ‘I’m a prick’ will do in a pinch.

What to say:

To sound like a rugby territory (South Dublin +/- Castleknock) native, there’s just a few things you need to remember. 1) Make sure all your vowels are really drawn out and add a ‘w’ wherever you can. For example, ‘fluke’ becomes ‘flewwwwwwwk’. 2) Shorten every word in the most annoying way imaginable. For example, ‘rugby’ becomes ‘ruggers’, ‘lucozade’ becomes ‘leucooo’ etc. 3) Speak at 4 times the necessary volume. Seriously, don’t be shy about it, it’s rugby season and you’re a rugby head, everyone will be grateful to hear your opinion!

What to do:

This one is easy. Just remember that you own the place (well, your dad does) and you should act like it. Be loud, be obnoxious, wreck the place, get too drunk, get aggressive with anyone who tries to insinuate that you’re being any of the aforementioned things, and you’re golden.

See you in Searsons!

Role Call

Trinity has had some brilliant attendance this term with our student body showing up and showing out for all Trinity has to offer. The below table shows the number of attendees for the most popular Trinity events and locations:

Anarchy Printing House Square

Existential Anticipation Financial Insecurity

Voter Fraud

Sensitive matters

Cronyism

Oversharing

Your parents reading The Piranha Clubs till 6 am

The 39a towards Ongar

Two Door Cinema Clubif i was hedging bets vOTinG rOn

Saying slay

Tball

The Gabi + Max love story <3

The house and the boots

Pav Friday

The 1975 Protein Bars Solo

Synchronised Swimming Society Trips

Abroad Groups of 3 or more people

Getting excused for online harassment