Vow Writing 101 PHOTO: cassidycrowe.com EXPERT TIP BY SOMETHING NEW OFFICIANT (www.somethingnewofficiant.ca) London, ON
"The vow writing process is an area of ceremony planning my clients often feel the most intimidated by, and most at a loss with where to begin. Here I share some of my suggestions and tips I offer my own officiant clients to ensure their “I dos” capture their uniqueness, while also honouring the sacredness of making vows intended to be lived out forever more." Generally speaking, there are three different styles to doing one’s vows, each having their own benefits and drawbacks depending on your comfort with public speaking, displays of possible vulnerability (e.g. crying), desired length of your ceremony, and important customs or traditions you’d like to carry forward: 1. ECHO OR REPEAT YOUR VOWS AFTER YOUR OFFICIANT: Together with your officiant you decide on a few sentences, I would say no more than 5, where the officiant would read a few words or a short sentence, and then you’d repeat it after them. You’d go back and forth until the paragraph is complete. The officiant would then repeat this pattern with the other partner. 2. TAKE A MORE TRADITIONAL APPROACH: This format is where the officiant would ask a series of questions after which you would reply with “I will” or "I do". For example: Do you ___ take ___ to be your husband/wife/spouse? 3. PERSONAL VOWS: Finally, the reading or speaking of personal vows. The sky's the limit in terms of personal vows, and they can be a very playful part of a ceremony where the couple’s 'personality' shines. Increasingly couples are opting for a hybrid approach, where they will include the traditional approach to their vows and then proceed to read their personal vows; they may first do the echo/repeat after me approach, then do the traditional vows, or any combination of the three. So if you’re struggling with a place to begin with crafting your personal vows, start with writing from your heart, unfiltered, and in bullet format responding to the following prompts: • How did you feel the first time you met your partner? • How did you know that your partner was the one? • What are the strengths and capabilities you witness in your partner that you most admire? • How has your partner challenged you, supported you, and encouraged you to grow personally and/or professionally/ occupationally? 84 •The Wedding Ring Magazine | www.theweddingring.ca
