Issue 899

PRSRT STD U.S. POSTAGE PAID

PARKER, CO 80134 Permit No. 112

FREE PUBLICATION

Of Of Douglas Douglas & & Elbert Elbert Counties Counties Issue 878 - June 30, 2014

The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read!®

“The Automotive Experts”

TIDBITS® LOOKS AT

SKIN AND BONES

by Kathy Wolfe

•

•

303-663-5578 Diesel Emissions Test $

45

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“Why, you’re just skin and bones!” you may have heard it said. While the human body is lots more than skin and bones, these two things account for a very large part.

Follow along as Tidbits explores what holds us together.

• “I’ve got you under my skin,” goes the old song. The skin is the largest of all the organs in the body, and makes up about 15% of the body’s weight. On the average adult body, it weighs about 6 lbs. (2.72 kg), with an area of about 20 square feet (1.86 sq. m). The average individual has about 300 million skin cells. There are about 11 miles (17.7 km) of blood vessels in the body’s skin.

• One square inch (6.45 sq. cm) contains about 19 million cells, 90 oil glands, 65 hairs, and 625 sweat glands. There are 19 feet (5.8 m) of blood vessels and over 19,000 sensory cells in that square inch. Those sensory cells can detect an object as small as 1/100th of a millimeter.

• The skin is made up of three layers – the epidermis, which is the outer layer, the middle layer called the dermis, and the deepest layer called the subcutis. The epidermis is thickest on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet, about 1.5 millimeter thick. The subcutis contains blood vessels, hair follicle roots, and nerves.

turn the page for more!

ISSUE 899 • November 24, 2014

We Buy Junk Cars & Trucks CA$H ON THE SPOT

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Castle Rock’s Hometown Fitness Studio

Not valid with any other offer. Must present coupon at time of purchase.

Offer expires 11/31/14

Bring in a toy & Receive a FREE watch battery!

11028 S Pikes Peak Dr • Parker • 303-841-2666 190 S Wilcox Unit C • Castle Rock • 303-660-2696

Holiday Holiday Lighting!

Lighting!

Design, Install, Take down and Storage

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Services include: • 24-hour skilled nursing care • 25+ years of experience in orthopedic, spinal, cardiovascular and neurological rehabilitation.

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• Diverse activities program 7 days a week.

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We have been locally owned and operated since our inception in 1997.

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2

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

SKIN AND BONES (continued): • When a person is born, skin is about 1 millimeter thick and will grow to about 3 millimeters by adulthood.

• The body’s three million sweat glands will produce about two quarts (1.9 liters) of fluid on a warm summer day. When sweat evaporates off the skin, body heat is reduced. Sweat glands are the most concentrated on the bottom of the feet, with the least concentration on the body’s back. The smell of sweat is affected by a person’s mood, diet, hormones, medical condition, or drugs.

• Our skin is thinnest on our eyelids, just 0.02 m thick.

• Why does our skin bruise? It’s caused by blood capillaries that burst near the skin’s surface. The blood cells quickly die and change color, creating the purplish bruise. The bruise fades as those cells are carried off by the body.

• And why does our skin tan when we’re out in the sun? It’s the result of our skin secreting melanin, a brown pigment that helps block out harmful ultraviolet rays. Thousands of years ago, when dark-skinned humans migrated to colder climates, much of their melanin pigment was lost and white skin began to appear.

Interesting Stuff

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

PARKER DANCE ACADEMY

PRESENTS...

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• There are two types of melanin – pheomelanin, which varies from yellow to red in color, and eumelanin, which is dark brown to black.

Pheomelanin is responsible for our pink lips and for red hair color. Eumelanin contributes to brown and black skin and hair. A person with a complete or partial absence of melanin is known as an albino.

Saturday, December 20th, 2014 2 pm & 7 pm Sunday, December 21st, 2014 2 pm

• Skin that is glabrous has no hair.

• Acne, caused by an overproduction of oil that plugs the pores, afflicts more than just teenagers.

One in 20 adult women is bothered by acne. That figure is just one in 100 for adult men.

• The next time you’re doing the dusting, consider that 75% of household dust consists of dead skin cells. Every minute, you are shedding about 30,000 dead skin cells. By the time you’re 70, you will have shed about 40 lbs. (18.1 kg) of dead skin.

• Skin cancer is the most common of all cancers, accounting for almost half of cancer diagnoses in the United States. There will be about 76,000 new cases of melanoma, the most serious type of skin cancer, this year. Pale skin that sunburns easily is more susceptible to skin cancer. Severe sunburns in the past along with excessive unprotected exposure to sunlight or tanning booths are also contributing factors. Melanoma is the fastest growing cancer worldwide, and one in 50 Americans will develop it during their lifetime.

• About 45% of bone consists of mineral deposits, including calcium, phosphorus, and sodium, along with the protein collagen. Living tissue, cells, and blood vessels make up another 30%, with the remaining 25% water.

• Bones account for about 14% of the body’s total weight. A baby is born with about 300 bones, but as it grows, many fuse together, so that by adulthood the total is 206. When a baby is born, its kneecaps consist of soft cartilage which will gradually harden into bone, a process known as ossification.

• The longest and strongest bone of the skeleton is the femur, the thighbone, accounting for nearly 25% of a body’s height. The femur can support 30 times its own weight. The largest bone is the pelvis, and the smallest is located in the middle ear. The tiny stapes, commonly called the stirrup is only 0.11 inches (2.8 mm) long, about the size of a grain of rice. It’s the only bone that’s fully grown at birth.

PARKER DANCE ACADEMY

For Tickets: 303-840-7407 or www.parkerdance.com Picture/Layout & Design • Tim Mundy, Tidbits of Douglas & Elbert Counties

CLEANING SERVICES

Wouldn’t you rather be with your family instead of cleaning?

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Gene’s Auto Repair & Muffler Service Headlights To Tailpipes!!

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Pet Page

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PREMIUM FIREWOOD FOR SALE!

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Cat Q & A

3

Excellent Quality Hay & Straw for all Your Livestock and Reclamation Needs

Dr. James Olson - The Meow Doc

Feline Quotations and Sayings: “Catnaps are necessary! Have you had your nap today?”

-Doc-

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Humans Have An Interesting Attraction To Cats The relationship of humans with cats has been unique in that the cat dominates the interaction. People train people, people train dogs, people train horses but cats train people. Humans can train themselves and other species with negatives but cats and dolphins won’t allow this type of behavior. Cats only respond to positives and actually train people to do what they want. When my clients tell me stories about their beloved cat and how well trained he is, I ask them “How did your cat teach you to do what he wanted?” Then we laughed about how crafty the feline species is. If a human, a dog, and a cat were lost in the wilderness what species would have the best chance of survival?

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Tidbits of Douglas County

Some interesting facts reported by the Morris Animal Foundation that may surprise you.

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LOWES

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·

Single adults had more positive attitudes toward cats than married respondents.

·

Suburbanites had more positive attitudes toward cats than people in urban or rural areas.

·

Hispanics were more likely to consider having a cat than respondents of other ethnicities.

·

Men were more likely than women to consider having a cat.

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and reliable automotive services. Owner, Greg

People 18 to 24 years old had the most positive attitudes toward cats.

Cats are America’s companion animal. Slowly cats are gaining respect as an important family member in our country’s households. It is important to note that cats currently receive less veterinary care than dogs but this is changing as the human/cat bond grows. The sad reality of cats living with humans is, most cats brought to shelters are never adopted and most are euthanized.

Spay/neuter programs and having people take responsibility for their pets can reverse this trend. Cats judge people on the shared merits of kindness and love.

That is why cats reserve the “meow” for people they have affection for.

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·

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Dr. James K. Olson is "The Meow Doc", a nationally recognized veterinarian specializing exclusively in cats. Dr. Olson holds the title of Diplomate, Feline Specialty, from the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners. He is certified to practice nuclear medicine by the State of Colorado Department of Radiaton Safety. His practice is located in Castle Rock, Colorado. For more information please visit his comprehensive website: CatSpecialist.com

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4

Twenty Questions

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

The Gem Advisor Garnets

Scott McQueen

Bob Lowry Neighborhood Exclusive Agent

303.688.1966

Auto-Home-Business-Life

Allstate Insurance Company 201 S Wilcox St. #2A Castle Rock

LARKSPUR PIZZARIA & CAFE Best Pizza, Calzones, Italian Food, Panini Sandwiches and Much More!

THURSDAY & SUNDAY FREE LIVE MUSIC

Monday’s Family night 1 Large Salad Garlic Knots 1 Topping Pizza 4 Sodas $29 All you can eat Spaghetti Wednesday

303-681-2090 Dine In/Take Out

20 QUESTIONS All the answers begin with the same letter.

Neighborhood Exclusive Agent

Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. 2 store locations: 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker and 190 S Wilcox in Castle Rock. For more call 303.841.2666 or 303-660-2696

Sudoku Made Possible By

303.688.1966 Bob Lowry

Red is the color most often connected to this gemstone that is often found in antique jewelry. However, the world of garnets is far more colorful than that just red Spectacular finds, especially in Africa, have enhance the traditional image of the garnet with a number of lovely hues including shades of green, a variety of yellows, a blazing orange and some very nice earth-colored shades. The only color never found in a garnet is blue. This number of garnet hues has enabled this gemstone to continue to be trendy and stylish.

While fairly common, the garnets have some rare stones such as star garnets whose color changes depending on whether displayed in artificial or natural light. Garnets are found in several African countries, India, Russia and Central and South America. Skilled hand of cutters all over the world over cut garnets into both classical and designer shapes. If your jewelry features a garnet stone you can be confident that it will last a long time and the brilliance given to it by Nature will never dim.

Fish Taco Tuesday!

Pan Fried Grandma’s Recipe

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Gluten Free & Vegetarian Options Available Monday - Closed Tuesday open 4:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.

Wednesday - Sunday 11:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.

1. When you give thanks you are showing __________.

2. Name the professional tennis player who was once married to Brooke Shields.

3. In what city of India is the Taj Mahal located?

4. Texas __________ & Mining University.

5. What is the common word for the mixture of gases that constitutes our atmosphere, surrounding the earth and extending outward from its surface for a distance estimated to be 600 miles?

6. Name the 49th state of the Union.

7. What is the capital city of New York?

8. Edmonton is the capital city of what Canadian province?

9. What do you call an organism in which normal pigment is absent?

10. Name the small, bleak island in San Francisco Bay on which was once located a federal penitentiary.

11. Algiers is the capital city of what North African country?

12. What word refers to a uniform mathematical procedure for solving a specific type of problem?

13. What name did boxer Cassius Clay take when he converted to Islam?

14. What word is used to refer to a method of representation, usually literary but also including the visual arts, in which the think portrayed stands also for something else?

15. Who played the part of Hawkeye in the television series M.A.S.H.?

16. Name the semidomesticated animal of the camel family found in the Andes regions of South America that resembles a large, shaggy sheep.

17. The Matterhorn, a peak of 14,685 feet, is found in what mountain range?

18. Name the powerful river in South America that goes through six countries and empties into the Atlantic Ocean.

19. What do you call a diplomatic official of the highest rank appointed as representative in residence by one government to another?

20. When you were a child, what did you call the money your parents gave you each week?

Answers: 1. Appreciation 2. Andre Agassi 3. Agra 4.

Agriculture 5. Air 6. Alaska 7. Albany 8. Alberta 9.

Albino 10. Alcatraz 11. Algeria 12. Algorithm 13. Ali 14. Allegory 15. Alan Alda 16. Alpaca 17. Alps 18.

Amazon 19. Ambassador 20. Allowance

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

5

Classifieds

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Greiger Logging, Corral Poles too 303-688-0453

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Males $150 females $200. If interested please call 719-691-1701 or 719-688-8615. Located in Lamar, Colorado.

USED CARGO Containers, All in Good WWT Condition. Delivery Available. Call for price and availability 303-929-7879 1956 CHEVY Pickup 3100, Mustang II front end, 350 LT-1 engine, 350 automatic, 10 bolt rear end, $15,000. Call 303-647-2317.

Cars 2012 RED Toyota Corolla 29,000 miles, $12,999. Clear title. 719240-6264

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Sporting Goods

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READY TO Ranch! Need help rounding up the cows? 100% doggie door trained. Mom is Border Collie/ Australian Shepherd. This mix makes the best little ranch hands youll ever have! Dad is very loyal and gentle as a kitten with all of our animals as well as the grandkids. They have all had thier 1st puppy shots, dewormer, flea prevention and are Very Healthy.

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FOSTECH OUTDOORS AR-15 'BUMPSTOCK'. Makes AR-15 rapidfire by replacing standard Apartments stock. Totally legal; BATF certificate included. New, in box. Never ROOMMATE WANTED in S.W. used. You Tube detailed instruction Greeley area, 2 bdrm, 2 bath apartavailable on-line. $500 cash firm. ment. Avail now. Male or female ok. (I 303-931-9555 am a 52yr male divorcee) Responsible LYMAN MAG 20 Lead Furindividuals only please. Non-Smokers, nace. Melts 20 lbs of lead to cast No pets, No Drugs, No Felons. Credit/ hundreds of bullets in one session. background check req'd. $640 month.

Like new. . . includes bottom mold Email me for interview. mcidoug@ guide to align mold blocks under yahoo.com pouring spout. No shipping. . . pick up in East Monument. Cash only Pets $300 firm. ronhart77@juno.com CHOCOLATE LAB Puppies - availHelp NEEDED able now! APR Registered $400 with papers/$350 without 719-528-6880 Lady Recovering from illness needs assistance with errands, TINY YORKIE puppies A.K.C. vet appointments, etc. sometimes. checked up to date on shots about 6lbs Please call full grown. $500.00 one male two 303-981-6981 females Please call 970-380-9940. riter2@q.com

Woodmoor

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Exit 161

HOURS: Monday through Sunday 9:00 AM - 7:00 PM

Of Of Douglas Douglas County County Colorado Colorado

Home Improvement COMPLETE

DRYWALL SERVICES

New Construction/ Remodels & Repairs

WINTER SPECIAL!

Fall is a great time to plant perennials

FREE WINDOW SCREEN

It may be only months, but it feels like an eternity 'til we see the peonies bloom again.

That's a sad thought for many, but the good news is that we can use the nice weekend ahead to get perennials off to a good start in next year's growing season.

Fall is one of the best times to plant new and divide existing perennials - peonies, daylilies, Echinacea and all the rest.

Soil conditions in the fall are usually better for digging than in the spring. Now, there's no dodging the frequent late-season snows and the muddy conditions they produce.

Fall planting also gets the plants feeling at home in their new digs so the roots take hold and start growing. By springtime, the plants will be better established and may offer up more first-season blooms than if you wait until spring to plant them.

Here are some tips to for giving perennials a head start on the next growing season.

Divide and conquer If you have perennials that have been in place 4-6 years or are overgrowing their space, separate them with a shove into two or more plants. This process rejuvenates the plants and also yields more plants to enjoy in other areas of your yard.

All perennials benefit from this process and especially, ornamental grasses that sometimes appear to die out in the center.

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Clean up the soil Make sure the bed area where you add new or divided plants has been cleaned up of weed debris. Remove perennial weed roots, encroaching turf grass and old debris that may have seeds. The cleaner the bed, the fewer weed issues you will have next season.

Amend the soil If you are planting an entire bed of perennials, prep the entire area with organic matter such as compost, well-rotted manure or peat moss that is at least 6 inches deep.

Dig holes that are 2-3 times the size of the root ball of the plant and plant with amended soil. The organic matter helps roots to become established and grow.

Group plants according to their water needs to avoid overwatering some and under-watering others.

Post planting steps Water plants after planting - and be prepared to check soil moisture throughout the fall and winter. Even though plants are dormant, they can still dry out and require water.

Mulch around plants with an organic mulch such as shredded bark. This will help moderate the soil temperature and retain moisture throughout the winter.

Fertilize with a root-developing fertilizer.

Next spring, you'll enjoy the results of these late-seasoning gardening chores. Our plants always make us glad we made the effort.

Chris Dominy is the owner of Parker based BestYard.com and Weed Man Lawn Care. If you have additional questions about your lawn, search our lawn care library at denver. weedmanusa.com, or visit www.bestyard.com.

Please see our ad on Page 1 of Tidbits!

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Tidbits Church/Community

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All your protection under one roof.

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Douglas County Sheriff, Dave Weaver, Needs Your Help

FUGITIVE OF THE WEEK Name:

MICHAEL THOMAS CHIRICHELLO

American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries American Family Insurance Company Home Office — Madison, WI 53783 amfam.com © 2009 07497 — Rev. 2/09

Ask the Dentist

by Dennis L. Burgner, D.D.S. Master, Academy of General Dentistry

Thanksgiving - The Dentist’s Thankful List

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time – to be with family and friends and reflect on the blessings of our lives.

It is uniquely an American holiday that originated with the founding of our country. Thanksgiving is THE special day of the year set Cindy Rose aside for us all to stop and thank God for all He provides to us. As a dentist I am thankful for the advances in dental care over the history of civilization. Historically, it just hasn’t been that long ago that we didn’t have toothbrushes, mouth rinses, esthetic replacements of missing teeth, and yes, even floss! Here are a few dental things that I’m thankful for: The Toothbrush: Ancient peoples used small sticks or twigs, mashed and softened on one end, to clean their teeth. The Chinese invented the first bristle toothbrush, which came to Europe in the 1600’s, and to America during colonial times.

In 1880 the first electric brush hit the market. It wasn’t very effective, and the idea died out for several decades. Then just after World War II, the Swiss developed the first effective electric toothbrush, which was introduced into the United States in 1960.

Toothpaste had its earliest forms in ancient times, when ground shells, powdered fruit, talc, honey, and dried flowers were mixed together to make a tooth cleaning paste. Less tasty ingredients included various forms of mice, rabbit heads, lizard livers, and urine concocted as toothpastes. I rather doubt that such “toothpastes” had that “minty” taste we enjoy today.

Some “toothpastes” were so corrosive that they dissolved tooth enamel. Toothpastes in the 1800’s included soap and chalk. The first collapsible tube appeared in 1892. “Crest” brand toothpaste with fluoride to actually help prevent cavities was introduced in 1956.

Anesthetic made painless extractions possible in the 1830’s. In primitive times, teeth were extracted with a well-placed chisel and a hard blow from a mallet - ouch! Centuries later, the Greeks and Romans abandoned the mallet and chisel and developed extraction forceps. Chinese dentists developed very strong fingers for extracting teeth with their “bare fingers” by practicing removing wooden pegs driven into a board. Cocaine was used just prior to the 1900’s as a Local Anesthetic for “Feeling No Pain” dentistry (or anything else!) – until it’s addictive properties became evident. In 1905 “Novocain”, became available, and “Painless Dentistry” became possible. Today’s local anesthetics are much more effective, and do not have the allergic effects of Novocain.

Laughing Gas, professionally known as Nitrous Oxide – Oxygen Conscious Sedation was first “experimental” in the 1790’s, due to its pain-inhibiting effects. It became known as “laughing gas” when used at high concentrations, because of its most famous side effect. In the late 1800’s, it was combined with oxygen, and the combination became very popular for use in surgical procedures.

37 years old 5’4” 170 lbs Gray hair, Brown eyes LKA: Unknown Charges: Computer CrimeScheme/Defraud 1000-20K Extortion, Theft/Trade Secrets

TAKE NO ACTION TO APPREHEND THIS PERSON YOURSELF For immediate action call 303.660.7500 or call your local law enforcement To provide information and remain anonymous, call the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office Tips Hotline: 303.660.7579 or E-mail us at DCSO@dcsheriff.net.

MOMENTS IN TIME The History Channel • On Dec. 13, 1577, English seaman Francis Drake sets out from England with five ships and 164 men on a mission to raid Spanish holdings on the Pacific coast of the New World.

Three years later, Drake’s return to England marked the first circumnavigation of the earth by a British explorer.

7

Gene’s Auto Repair & Muffler Service

Gene’s Muffler began in 1976 when the owner, Eugene Noble, repaired radiators from a small building at his home to supplement his teaching salary (as Gene’s Radiator). By the early 80’s he had outgrown that space and began renting a portion of a building on Caprice. Craig, Gene’s son, started working for the company soon after that.

By 1985, as more space was needed, the current building on Malibu was constructed and the name changed to Gene’s Muffler and Auto. Forward to 2014 we are expanding one more time with a separate building across the driveway and with Craig in charge of the day to day operations and management.

We have been privileged to serve the community from the beginning of a radiator repair to now include full automotive service. Craig specializes in building custom exhaust systems and in exhaust repairs.

• On Dec. 12, 1912, two years after it was stolen from the Louvre, Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece The Mona Lisa is recovered inside Italian waiter Vincenzo Peruggia’s hotel room in Florence. Peruggia had previously worked at the Louvre and had participated in the heist with a group of accomplices dressed as janitors.

Being a small independent business makes it possible for our customers to know that we are here to stand behind our products and repairs. As Craig says “We are about making friends; earning and maintaining the trust of our customers is a vital part of our family business” We welcome the opportunity to serve you and your automotive needs.

• On Dec. 14, 1939, the League of Nations, the international peacekeeping organization formed at the end of World War I, expels the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics in response to the Soviets’ invasion of Finland. Although the League was the brainchild of President Woodrow Wilson, the United States never joined.

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Craig Noble 303-688-9757 215 Malibu Street Castle Rock, CO

• On Dec. 11, 1944, the city of Toronto, Canada, is battered with its worst-ever snowfall. Twenty-one people died as nearly 20 inches of snow fell in a single day. The storm took place during World War II, and the city’s ammunition factory was forced to close.

• On Dec. 9, 1958, retired Boston candy manufacturer Robert H.W. Welch, Jr., establishes the John Birch Society, a right-wing organization dedicated to fighting what it perceives to be the extensive infiltration of communism into American society.

• On Dec. 10, 1963, kidnapped Frank Sinatra Jr. is allowed to talk briefly to his father, after which the kidnappers demanded a ransom of $240,000 and arranged Sinatra’s drop off. Law-enforcement officials picked up the young Sinatra and brought him home in the trunk of their car.

• On Dec. 8, 1980, former Beatle John Lennon is shot and killed by Mark David Chapman as Lennon and his wife, Yoko Ono, were returning home to their West 72nd Street Manhattan apartment building, the now-famous Dakota.

New Beginning Community Church 10530 S Progress Way, Suite 103 Parker, CO 80134-4029

NEW SPRING/SUMMER HOURS IN OUR NEW WORSHIP CENTER Praise and Worship Service Coffee and Fellowship Sunday School for all ages Kingdom Kids Wednesday Eve Youth Group

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E-mail: Office@nbccparker.com - Phone (303)495-2919 Web Site: nbccparker.com

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Please send in your questions. You can Ask the Dentist by calling Dr. Burgner at 720-870-9500, or consult the website: www.ParkerLumineers.com Dr Burgner has served on the Fellowship Examination Committee of the Academy of General Dentistry (AGD), and received national recognition awards from that 30,000 member organizaation. He has also been recognized in the local magazine 5280. He practices General Family and Cosmetic Dentistry in Parker, Colorado.

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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

8797 W. Colfax Ave. Lakewood, CO 80125

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George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available

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A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

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Where Princesses Become Swans.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10.”

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Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” Genesis 3:10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked.” ___________________________________________ There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

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The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, “You can’t stay here you have to come with us.”

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The old man replied, “No, God will save me.” So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, “God will save me.” So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, “God will save him.” So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God replied, “You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!”

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