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Of Douglas & Elbert Counties To Advertise Call 303-994-9683 TIDBITS® LOOKS IN THE
REFRIGERATOR by Janet Spencer
We Buy Junk Cars & Trucks CA$H ON THE SPOT
WE COME TO YOU. NO HASSLE.
720-560-6763 www.chunkystowing.com Se Habla Espanol “The Automotive Experts”
•
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303-663-5578 Diesel Emissions Test $
45
720-213-8902 500 2nd St, Castle Rock, CO 80104
www.handmtransmission.com
DECEMBER
SALE 25% OFF
ALL ITEMS IN STOCK!
Not valid with any other offer. Some restrictions apply. Must present coupon at time of purchase. Offer expires 12/31/14
On December 7, 1926, the first U.S. patent for a household refrigerator which operated on gas was issued to The Electrolux Servel Corporation. The new concept was far safer than older model refrigerators which used toxic gases that killed people if they leaked. Come along with Tidbits as we look at refrigerators!
Bring in a toy & Receive a FREE watch battery!
Castle Rock’s Hometown Fitness Studio
THE ICEBOX • Before the invention of refrigerators, iceboxes were common. The first models didn’t work efficiently because the designers failed to understand how ice cools. The ice, placed in an airtight container on top, took a long time to melt but failed to impart its coolness to the food kept in a storage box below. After studying the principles of ice, a new model was designed that contained the crucial element of air flow: Ice in the top part of the icebox absorbed the heat from the warm air rising from the food storage box below. The cool air, now denser and heavier than the warm air, sank to the bottom of the ice box, allowing the warmer air to flow upward in a never-ending cycle. Drip pans below the icebox had to be emptied every day, and new ice blocks had to be purchased from the iceman at frequent intervals.
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(cont’d next page)
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It’s All about YOU Dentistry
Offer valid with cash only. Exact change a must. Will accept credit cards or check but full rate of $40 applies.
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Diesel Repair & Performance
HARRY’S TOY DRIVE
ISSUE 900 • December 1, 2014
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We provide the opportunity for success!
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2
Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties THE BIRTH OF THE FRIDGE
• The death of the icebox began with the birth of refrigeration, and that began with a scientific principle and a bunch of feverish patients. • If you take a gas or liquid and compress it tightly and then allow it to expand, it absorbs heat from its surroundings as it is expanding. This is the basic principle behind refrigeration, air conditioning, and ice making. Various people experimented with the principle and managed to make small amounts of ice.
JOHN GORRIE • In 1833 Dr. John Gorrie moved to Apalachicola, Florida. One of the main illnesses afflicting his patients was yellow fever. He noted that people who slept under mosquito netting tended to stay healthier than those who did not, but never realized that mosquito netting kept out the mosquitoes who carried the germs that caused yellow fever. • Gorrie noted that feverish patients recovered faster if they were kept cool, which was not easy to achieve in Florida. He tried hanging buckets of ice from the ceiling with fans to circulate the cool air. This helped, but ice had to be shipped from Boston and cost a lot. • Gorrie was familiar with the fact that compressed gasses absorb heat from their surroundings when they expand. He built a steam engine that drove a piston back and forth inside an airtight cylinder which was surrounded by water. First the piston would press down, compressing the air inside. Then it would pull back, and the compressed air expanded, pulling heat from the water. Then a valve would open at the end of the cylinder and the next time the piston pumped, it would push the cool air out and pull hot air in, to repeat the cycle over and over. The surrounding air became cool and the water became ice. Fever patients recovered. (cont’d)
JOHN GORRIE (cont’d) • Gorrie announced his new discovery on July 14, 1850. The New York Globe reported, “There is a Dr. Gorrie, a crank down in Apalachicola, Florida, that thinks he can make ice by his machine as good as God Almighty.” • Gorrie quit the medical business, convinced that his fortune was made. However, he was never able to find financial backing, because investors were reluctant to back artificial ice when natural ice was delivered each year by ship. The natural ice business had a powerful lobby and discouraged potential investors. Gorrie died in 1853, broke and broken.
Interesting Stuff
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CLEANING SERVICES
Wouldn’t you rather be with your family instead of cleaning? Call us to help. References Available 20 Years of Experience Weekly-Biweekly- Monthly-Move Ins and outs
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Gene’s Auto Repair & Muffler Service Headlights To Tailpipes!!
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FERDINAND CARRE • Three years later, Ferdinand Carré introduced his ice-making machine to widespread acclaim. Carré’s model used ammonia instead of air. Under pressure, the ammonia would be in liquid form, but when pressure was released, it would evaporate into gaseous form (thereby absorbing heat and cooling the surrounding area) and the gas would be collected and condensed into liquid once again. When the Civil War cut off the supply of ice to the southern states, Carré shipped several of his ice-making machines past the blockade and was in business. In 1877 he designed the first refrigerated ship. However, his refrigerators were bulky and heavy and tended to kill people when the ammonia leaked. Still, Carré’s design remains the fundamental system of modern refrigeration. Continued on page 5
Saturday, December 20th, 2014 2 pm & 7 pm Sunday, December 21st, 2014 2 pm
For Tickets: 303-840-7407 or www.parkerdance.com Picture/Layout & Design • Tim Mundy, Tidbits of Douglas & Elbert Counties
PARKER DANCE ACADEMY
Pet Page
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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties
Cat Q & A
The Buddy Center Needs Your Help
Pet of the Week
Cut, Split Bar-B-Que & Firewood FRESH CUT Christmas Trees
Traeger Grills
Name: JASMINE
8’-10’ @ $49 11’-12’ @ $59 13 & up @ $69
ID# 0680009 Meet Jasmine. Her previous owner says she did not get along with the other cats
Dr. James Olson - The Meow Doc
Cold Weather = Hypothermia Nature has given our domestic cats a fur coat that insulates from the cold and warm weather. Usually warm weather is less of a problem than cold weather unless you live in a desert with no shade or protection from the sun. The cold temperatures when combined with rain, wind, hail, sleet, and snow can be a huge challenge for survival. The wild cats in Colorado, the mountain lion and bobcat, have adapted well to harsh climate changes and the ability to hunt for food. Humans are the biggest threat to wildlife. With our domestic cats we can tilt the chance for survival in our cat’s favor by providing the basics – good food, safe shelter, and love!
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Indoor cats are in the safest environment we can provide. They have HVAC on demand, abundant food, a safe comfortable sleep space, and humans to wait on their every need.
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Indoor/outdoor and outdoor cats if given a safe haven to get out of the weather and have a good source of food have the next best chance of survival. Most of these cats who want to hunt and roam are at
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in cold weather when escape is difficult will enhance survival. Wild creatures need to eat and your cat is food. Some environments are cat friendly and others are not. Try to improve your cat’s chances to thrive. Cats can survive better than most humans in the wild but cold can kill. If your cat becomes hypothermic or gets frostbite – rewarm slowly and get your cat to an emergency hospital A.S.A.P.
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Tidbits of Douglas County
are not exposed to the extremes of weather, do not contact poisons like antifreeze, do not get into chocolate, string, decorations, or other holiday fare.
ILoveTidbits.com 303-994-9683
Dr. James K. Olson is "The Meow Doc", a nationally recognized veterinarian specializing exclusively in cats. Dr. Olson holds the title of Diplomate, Feline Specialty, from the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners. He is certified to practice nuclear medicine by the State of Colorado Department of Radiaton Safety. His practice is located in Castle Rock, Colorado. For more information please visit his comprehensive website: CatSpecialist.com
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Cat Specialist Dr. James Olson, Dipl ABVP (Feline) Dr. Jennifer Olson Lavallee 612 Atchison Way • Castle Rock CO 80109
303.663.2287 (CATS)
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Most cat owners plan for the safety of their cats and can avoid seasonal risk factors. With the holiday season upon us we need to see that our cats/pets
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4
Twenty Questions
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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties
The Gem Advisor Garnets
Scott McQueen
Bob Lowry Neighborhood Exclusive Agent
303.688.1966
Auto-Home-Business-Life
Allstate Insurance Company 201 S Wilcox St. #2A Castle Rock Neighborhood Exclusive Agent
Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. 2 store locations: 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker and 190 S Wilcox in Castle Rock. For more call 303.841.2666 or 303-660-2696
Sudoku Made Possible By
303.688.1966 Bob Lowry
Red is the color most often connected to this gemstone that is often found in antique jewelry. However, the world of garnets is far more colorful than that just red Spectacular finds, especially in Africa, have enhance the traditional image of the garnet with a number of lovely hues including shades of green, a variety of yellows, a blazing orange and some very nice earth-colored shades. The only color never found in a garnet is blue. This number of garnet hues has enabled this gemstone to continue to be trendy and stylish. While fairly common, the garnets have some rare stones such as star garnets whose color changes depending on whether displayed in artificial or natural light. Garnets are found in several African countries, India, Russia and Central and South America. Skilled hand of cutters all over the world over cut garnets into both classical and designer shapes. If your jewelry features a garnet stone you can be confident that it will last a long time and the brilliance given to it by Nature will never dim.
20 QUESTIONS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.
12. 13. 14.
15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20.
In vertebrate animals, what do you call the series of tubes and spaces through which the blood is forced by the muscular action of the heart? What is the name of the Mexican city across the Rio Grande River from El Paso, Texas? What is the name of the military college located on the east bank of the Ashley River in Charleston, South Carolina? In the 1950s there a television cowboy who had a sidekick named Poncho. Name the cowboy. What branch of engineering is involved with the physical design of structures? Name the war fought on American soil from 18611865. What word is used to refer to the awareness or perception of physical events or objects without the use of the recognized sense organs? What musical instrument is characterized by a cylindrical pipe in which tone is produced by the vibration of a single beating reed? Name the politician who claimed to have made over 12 million cracks in the glass ceiling. What is the general term referring to the body of those formally set apart for the service of God, and so distinguished from the laity? Name the President of the United States who served two non-consecutive terms (the twenty-second and twenty-fourth President of the United States). Hint: His first name was Grover. What kind of “dwellers” left the remains of their community in the Mesa Verde National Park? If you need some good luck you should go find yourself a four-leaf what? What do you call the combustible sedimentary rock formed by an accumulation of vegetable matter and its subsequent chemical and physical alteration through geologic processes? What term is used to describe a low and relatively level or gently sloping area immediately inland from a sea or ocean? What is the name of the poisonous snake that produces a “hood” by rearing its front portion, flattening its neck, and raising its forward ribs? Name the shrub whose leaves are the source of the anesthetic drug cocaine. What was Buffalo Bill’s last name? In what city is Texas A & M University located? Bogata is the capital city of what country?
Answers: 1. Circulatory system 2. Ciudad Juárez 3. The Citadel 4. Cisco Kid 5. Civil 6. Civil War 7. Clairvoyance 8. Clarinet 9. Clinton, Hillary 10. Clergy 11. Cleveland, Grover 12. Cliff 13. Clover 14. Coal 15. Coastal Plain 16. Cobra 17. Coca 18. Cody 19. College Station 20. Columbia
Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties • As electricity became common, electrical refrigerators began to rise in popularity. By 1920, there were over 200 types for the American consumer to choose from. Across the U.S., thousands cancelled their contracts with the Ice Man.
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FRIGIDAIRE • In June of 1918, General Motors bought out a small Detroit refrigerator company and renamed it Frigidaire. They set their engineers to work improving the fridge. One of the main problems was that the various coolants used – ammonia, methyl choloride, sulfur dioxide –killed people when the refrigerator leaked. They were also corrosive and explosive, killing people when the fridge blew up. What was needed was a coolant that was non-toxic, non-corrosive, non-explosive, and cheap.
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FREON
MODERN FRIDGES • Today a chemical called tetrafluoroethane is used in modern refrigerators. It turns into a liquid when it is cooled to -15.9f. (-26.6 C). A motor and compressor squeezes the chemical. When it is compressed, the gas heats up as it is pressurized. When the compressed gas passes through the coils on the back or bottom of the fridge, it expands and the heat goes into the room, leaving the interior of the fridge cool. Famous Canadians
HENRY RUTTAN
• Henry Ruttan was born on June 12, 1792, in Adolphustown, Ontario. As a young boy, he went out with his brother one day to tap maple trees for sap in order to make maple syrup. Unfortunately, there was an accident with the axe and Henry lost several fingers on one hand. His father reasoned that he would never be able to handle a job that involved manual labor. Because of this, he sent Henry to school. • Henry’s education lasted until he was 14 years old. At that time he left to become a store clerk in Kingston. He worked his way up from apprentice to partner and eventually ran his own store in Grafton. • His career was long, varied, and distinguished. He served in the military beginning with the War of 1812, reaching the rank of colonel. In 1820, he was elected to the Legislative Assembly of Upper Canada for Northumberland. He served until 1824 and was reelected in 1836. He served as speaker of the house from December 1837 to January 1838. In 1827, he was named sheriff for the Newcastle District. But he’s known best for his innovations in heating and cooling methods for homes and railroad cars.
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• Thomas Midgley was one of GM’s best researchers and he went to work on the task working under the direction of Charles Kettering. It only took him three days of experimenting to solve the problem. As a result, on December 31, 1928, Frigidaire received the first patent for chlorofluorocarbons which they gave the trade name of Freon. To demonstrate Freon’s characteristics at the meeting of the American Chemical Society, Midgley inhaled a lung full of Freon gas, then exhaled over a lit candle. The candle was snuffed out by the gas, Midgley did not keel over, and the assembled chemists hailed Freon as the perfect non-toxic non-flammable coolant. Soon refrigerators containing Freon were standard issue. No one had even heard of the ozone layer.
5
Classifieds
Circ le R
THE FRIDGE DEVELOPS
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Woodmoor
Mc Donalds
Exit 161
HOURS: Monday through Sunday 9:00 AM - 7:00 PM
Classified Firewood Firewood, Dry, Split, Delivered. Greiger Logging, Corral Poles too 303-688-0453
4th Quarter
Education
Firewood 4 Sale Lumberjack Firewood Truckload, large 8’ bed =2/3 cord for $150. Also selling bundles of firewood 10 peices each $10/ 2014 bundle 4 bundles minimum for Delivery. 619-206-0118
Week 50
THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Dec. 7Texas - 13 77099 Train for a new Career. *Underwater Welder. CommerPage 5 cial Driver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement assistance. Financial Aid available for those who qualify 1-800-321-0298
Financial LOW INTEREST financing at 4%. Don't pay for 6 months!! Personal, auto, and small business loans. Bad credit okay! Call Commerce today 1-855-701-0031
Adoption UNPLANNED PREGNANCY? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Open or closed adoption. YOU choose the family. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Abbys One True Gift Adoptions. Call 24/7. 866-413-6294.
Cars 2012 RED Toyota Corolla 29,000 miles, $12,999. Clear title. 719240-6264
RV’s 2004 ARTIC Fox 27.5ft 5th Wheel, 4 Season, 2 Slides, 3,000 Watt Propane Generator, Excellent Condition $19,000.00. 5th Wheel Hitch $600.00 719-448-9097 bforbes106@aol.com
Miscellaneous WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201 BLUE HEELER puppies for sale. Males $150 females $200. If interested please call 719-691-1701 or 719-688-8615. Located in Lamar, Colorado. USED CARGO Containers, All in Good WWT Condition. Delivery Available. Call for price and availability 303-929-7879 1956 CHEVY Pickup 3100, Mustang II front end, 350 LT-1 engine, 350 automatic, 10 bolt rear end, $15,000. Call 303-647-2317.
Sporting Goods
Help NEEDED
Apartments ROOMMATE WANTED in S.W. Greeley area, 2 bdrm, 2 bath apartment. Avail now. Male or female ok. (I am a 52yr male divorcee) Responsible individuals only please. Non-Smokers, No pets, No Drugs, No Felons. Credit/ background check req'd. $640 month. Email me for interview. mcidoug@ yahoo.com
Pets CHOCOLATE LAB Puppies - available now! APR Registered $400 with papers/$350 without 719-528-6880
Lady Recovering from illness needs assistance with errands, appointments, etc. sometimes. Please call 303-981-6981
HELP WANTED NEED MORE INCOME START IMMEDIEATLY NO COST!!!! http://jobandpay.com/?id=223556 Castle Rock Custodian Needed Pay $10.00/hr 3rd Shift Available Call 1-866-385-0672
Farm & Ranch
4-H Project Club Calves For Sale. These calves are broke for you. Ready TINY YORKIE puppies A.K.C. vet for your fairs and jackpots. All home checked up to date on shots about 6lbs raised for $1,800-$2,000. Sires infull grown. $500.00 one male two cluded: Amen and Maine Man. April females Please call 970-380-9940. born. They are ready to take home riter2@q.com and do some winning !. Call or Text 620-376-8117 READY TO Ranch! Need help rounding up the cows? 100% doggie door trained. Mom is Border Collie/ Australian Shepherd. This mix makes the best little ranch hands youll ever have! Dad is very loyal and gentle as a kitten with all of our animals as well as the grandkids. They have all had thier 1st puppy shots, dewormer, flea prevention and are Very Healthy. They are ready to work; also make the best Lifetime Companions youll ever Love. $350 Call or Text 719-2200956
FOSTECH OUTDOORS AR-15 I HAVE nice baby face Yorkie Pup'BUMPSTOCK'. Makes AR-15 pies For Free Adoption They are 12 rapidfire by replacing standard weeks old,Yorkie puppies to give it stock. Totally legal; BATF certificate included. New, in box. Never out for adoption .My cute Yorkie pupused. You Tube detailed instruction pies are ready to go out to a good and available on-line. $500 cash firm. caring home .Both of these babies are top shelf Yorkie they don't get much 303-931-9555 better than these AKC registered stunLYMAN MAG 20 Lead Furning teddy bear faces and button nose nace. Melts 20 lbs of lead to cast great Cobby bodies every thing you hundreds of bullets in one session. would want in your Yorkie and more Like new. . . includes bottom mold Please feel free to contact.( Text Me guide to align mold blocks under At ........612-913-4543 ) pouring spout. No shipping. . . pick up in East Monument. Cash only $300 firm. ronhart77@juno.com
Of Of Douglas Douglas County County Colorado Colorado
Home Improvement COMPLETE
DRYWALL SERVICES
New Construction/ Remodels & Repairs
WINTER SPECIAL!
Minimize ice melt use when you can Colorado's recent dive into the deep freeze meant a lot of us were strewing ice melt over steps and walkways. It's a fact of life during the Colorado winter. While we need to protect people from slipping and falling, we also need to be aware that almost all ice melt products are salt-based and salts are damaging to plants. The salt from ice melt not only gets into the soil, but will build up over time to become an ongoing problem. If the front entry sidewalk gets repeated applications of ice melt during the winter, chances are the salt will keep accumulating in the soil in the grass or bed areas next to the walk. Many seasons of using ice melt will bump up salt levels in the soil and your plants won't like it. What happens? Just like when people eat salt and become thirsty, overly-salted plants will also get thirsty and dry out. Flushing the area with water sometimes helps, but may not be completely effective.
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Here are two tips for minimizing salt damage: Use ice melt products sparingly. While you must play it safe on walks, pay attention to how much product it really takes to get the job done. Less may be enough. When ice is melting, avoid sweeping the puddles of salty water into planting areas. Instead, let the moisture evaporate, sweep up any product that remains and dispose of it. Through moderation and careful clean-up, you can reduce the amount of damaging salt that travels to the root zone of your plants. If perennial ice problems make it impossible for walks and plant-growing areas to exist side-by-side, modifying the area might be in order. The solution could be as simple as placing mulch over the highly salted area and placing container plants on top of the mulch. Dealing with ice that results from other issues, such as poor drainage, will require solving the problem that causes ice to accumulate in the first place. When you suspect plants are declining due to salt damage, an evaluation of the plant material and a soil test can confirm that salt is in fact the cause. With this information, you can move on to consider landscape options that will help you keep your property safe and still allow you to enjoy your plants. Chris Dominy is the owner of Parker based BestYard.com and Weed Man Lawn Care. If you have additional questions about your lawn, search our lawn care library at denver. weedmanusa.com, or visit www.bestyard.com. Please see our ad on Page 1 of Tidbits!
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One One Mile Mile North North of of Franktown Franktown on on Highway Highway 83 83 -- west west side side
Tidbits Church/Community
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All your protection under one roof.
Timothy G Brown, Agent
734 Wilcox Street #100 Castle Rock, CO 80104 (720) 733-2584 www.timothybrownagency.com
Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties
7
Douglas County Sheriff, Dave Weaver, Needs Your Help
FUGITIVE OF THE WEEK Name:
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN CONRAD
American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries American Family Insurance Company Home Office — Madison, WI 53783 amfam.com © 2009 07497 — Rev. 2/09
All I Want for Christmas Is My Eight Front Teeth Is YOUR Smile “TIRED”? How important is your smile to that relationship, that business deal, and to how confident you feel? Look in the mirror – Cindy Rose close up: Are they yellow, stained, gapped, worn, and “tired”? Just say “NO” to “Tired Teeth” You can have the smile of your dreams with NO shots, NO drilling, NO Pain and NO sensitivity; and if there’s no “drilling”, it’s reversible! What are Lumineers? Ultrathin Lumineers are made of a beautiful, strong “white” porcelain. They are made thin, so they can fit over your own teeth and not make you look like one of our “equine” friend’s smile. How many do I need? Typically, a nice, beautiful smile shows eight to ten teeth. My own Smile Makeover needed ten Lumineers. The first session took just a few minutes with a little polishing reshaping and an easy impression. Then at a second session, in about an hour, I got my new smile. It was easy - with NO shots, NO drilling, No pain, and NO sensitivity! Don’t hide that smile. “Smile Confidently, Smile Out Loud – with Pain-free Lumineers” Call for your FREE smile analysis: 720-8709500
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33 years old 5’10” 170 lbs Brown hair, Hazel eyes LKA: Castle Rock, CO Charges: Assault, An act of domestic violence, Driving Under the Infludence
TAKE NO ACTION TO APPREHEND THIS PERSON YOURSELF For immediate action call 303.660.7500 or call your local law enforcement To provide information and remain anonymous, call the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office Tips Hotline: 303.660.7579 or E-mail us at DCSO@dcsheriff.net.
MOMENTS IN TIME The History Channel • On Dec. 18, 1620, the British ship Mayflower docked at modern-day Plymouth, Massachusetts, and its passengers prepared to begin their new settlement, Plymouth Colony. That winter of 1620-1621 was brutal, and the Pilgrims struggled to find food and ward off sickness. By spring, 50 of the original 102 Mayflower passengers were dead. • On Dec. 15, 1791, Virginia becomes the final state to ratify the Bill of Rights, making the first 10 amendments to the Constitution law. The Anti-Federalist critics of the Constitution believed that it gave too much power to the federal government. The Bill of Rights assuaged their concerns. • On Dec. 17, 1944, Public Proclamation No. 21 declared that Japanese-American “evacuees” from the West Coast could return to their homes. In 1942, more than 110,000 Japanese Americans were relocated to remote internment camps built by the U.S. military. • On Dec. 20, 1957, Elvis Presley receives his draft notice for the United States Army. After basic training, he served in 3rd Armor Corps in Friedberg, Germany, where he attained the rank of sergeant.
New Beginning Community Church
• On Dec. 19, 1968, Warner Brothers releases the movie “Bullitt,” starring Steve McQueen, in Sweden, two months after its debut in U.S. theaters. Many critics consider “Bullitt” to be one of the greatest action movies ever made, because of the seven-minute car chase through the streets of San Francisco. • On Dec. 16, 1973, the Buffalo Bills running back “OJ” Simpson becomes the first player in the National Football League to rush for more than 2,000 yards in a single season. After leading the University of Southern California Trojans to a Rose Bowl victory and winning the Heisman Trophy, Simpson was drafted by Buffalo in 1969. • On Dec. 21, 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 explodes in midair over Lockerbie, Scotland, killing all 243 passengers and 16 crew members aboard, as well as 11 Lockerbie residents on the ground. A bomb hidden inside an audio cassette player detonated in the cargo area when the plane was at an altitude of 31,000 feet.
10530 S Progress Way, Suite 103 Parker, CO 80134-4029
COME JOIN US IN OUR NEW WORSHIP CENTER Praise and Worship Service Coffee and Fellowship Sunday School for all ages Kingdom Kids Wednesday Eve Youth Group
9:00AM 10:15AM 10:45AM 10:45AM 7:00PM
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AGES 6 MONTHS THROUGH ADULT Parent-Tot Classes Group Lessons Individualized Attention No more than four students per class! Preschool Classes Private Lessons
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NATURAL HORMONE BALANCING Step 1: TEST THE HORMONE LEVELS WITH A SIMPLE SALIVA HOME COLLECTION KIT
Dear Family, I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.
Step 2: RECEIVE A FREE INITIAL CONSULT
WITH OUR PHARMACIST/NATUROPATH REGARDING YOUR TEST RESULTS
Step 3: WE WORK WITH YOU AND YOUR DOCTOR REGARDING CUSTOMIZED NATURAL HORMONES OR NON-PRESCRIPTION OPTIONS NEEDED TO BALANCE YOUR SYSTEM
Dinner is at 2:00. NOT 2:15 NOT 2:05. Two 2:00 Arrive late and you get what's left over. Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup. Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
IER S A E IT ’S N YOU THA INK! TH
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Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.
720-213-4752 • www.homedirex.com
House Rules: 1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal. 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All ofthe cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills. 3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery. 4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it. 5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.
11020 S Pikes Peak Dr., Suite 110A Parker, CO 80138
720-851-9350
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6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.
303-462-1373