Issue 798 by Tim Mundy

Free! Take one!!!

For Advertising Call:

Of Of Douglas Douglas & & Elbert Elbert Counties Counties

303-994-9683

Issue 798 - December 10, 2012

Do you need a FRESH START for 2013?

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TIDBITS® HEARS THE BELLS TOLL

BELLS

by Patricia L. Cook

This Tidbits will ring some bells of history! Bells have been around for many centuries, including references in the Bible. Long before telephone ringers, ambulance sirens, internet, emails and “tweets,” bells summoned the masses for news, happy and sad.

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• Bells are rung at many major life events and occasions, including weddings and funerals in some religions. In earlier centuries bells were also rung to make announcements at community squares. Many churches ring bells at Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. • A famous old poem written on December 25, 1864 by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow became one of our best loved Christmas Carols. “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” was actually a poem that Wadsworth wrote concerning the sadness of America’s Civil War and the hope for its end. Two stanzas were removed when the poem was set to music by John Baptiste Calkin in 1872. The words, “Peace on earth, good will toward men,” included in the song, come from Luke 2:14 in the Bible. • Ringing of bells and other noisemakers may have originated with pagans, people who have “little or no religion.” They used the bells to scare away evil spirits.

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BELLS AND WHISTLES (continued): • Traditionally in Anglican and Catholic churches, the church day starts at sunset. So, for many churches the first service of Christmas Day will have bells ringing. These signify the start of Christmas services in many areas. In the United Kingdom (U.K.) it is traditional for the largest bell to be rung four times in the hour prior to midnight; then at midnight all of the bells ring to celebrate Christmas. Many old churches in the U.K. and other European countries have historic bells that have been ringing for centuries. • One of those old churches, St. Lawrence Church in Ipswich, Suffolk, England, has what is thought to be the oldest set of bells in the world. Dating from about 1450, the set of five bells had not been used for two decades because of the poor condition of the tower that housed them. They were in a tower that was built in 1883, that was very flimsy. In a restoration project funded by donations to the Ipswich Historic Churches Trust, the bells were moved to an older, sturdier part of the building that was built in the 15th century. In September, 2009, the bells rang again, much to the delight of the town. Now when the bells are rung, they are in a part of the church where they can be seen through a glass screen. The building is no longer a church but is part of the Ipswich Town Centre. • In the Ipswich project, the bells were cleaned at the Whitechapel Bell Foundry in East London. Whitechapel is Britain’s oldest manufacturing company, established during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I in 1570. In 1970 the Foundry celebrated 400 years, a quatercentenary! (It is now in its 442nd year.) • Famous bells from Whitechapel include the Liberty Bell, the Great Bell of Montreal and the largest bell it has ever cast, Big Ben.

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• While bell ringing, called “change ringing,” is most popular in England where it started centuries ago, there are bell ringers all over the world. Most English church bell towers have at least six to eight, but sometimes as many as sixteen bells in a the bell chamber or belfry. There are more than 5000 churches with bells for change ringing in their bell towers in England, while there are fewer than 300 in the rest of the world.

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• Change ringing is a performing art, similar to a Continued on page 7

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For Advertising Pet Page Call Tim (303)994-9683

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 3

Cat Q & A

Make your financial future a priority.

Dr. James Olson - The Meow Doc

Cindy Rose, AAMS®

Cold Weather = Hypothermia Nature has given our domestic cats a fur coat that insulates from the cold and warm weather. Usually warm weather is less of a problem than cold weather unless you live in a desert with no shade or protection from the sun. The cold temperatures when combined with rain, wind, hail, sleet, and snow can be a huge challenge for survival. The wild cats in Colorado, the mountain lion and bobcat, have adapted well to harsh climate changes and the ability to hunt for food. Humans are the biggest threat to wildlife. With our domestic cats we can tilt the chance for survival in our cat’s favor by providing the basics – good food, safe shelter, and love! o Indoor cats are in the safest environment we can provide. They have HVAC on demand, abundant food, a safe comfortable sleep space, and humans to wait on their every need. o Indoor/outdoor and outdoor cats if given a safe haven to get out of the weather and have a good source of food have the next best chance of survival. Most of these cats who want to hunt and roam are at risk. Feral cats live short hard lives. o Shelter from the elements is a primary need to retain body heat – a barn with hay, a heated tack room, a garage or covered back porch with an insulated bed, or a cat door to get into a warm house will provide comfort for your cat. o A refuge from coyotes and owls especially in cold weather when escape is difficult will enhance survival. Wild creatures need to eat and your cat is food. o Some environments are cat friendly and others are not. Try to improve your cat’s chances to thrive. o Cats can survive better than most humans in the wild but cold can kill. o If your cat becomes hypothermic or gets frostbite – rewarm slowly and get your cat to an emergency hospital A.S.A.P.

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Most cat owners plan for the safety of their cats and can avoid seasonal risk factors. With the holiday season upon us we need to see that our cats/pets

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Dr. James K. Olson is "The Meow Doc", a nationally recognized veterinarian specializing exclusively in cats. Dr. Olson holds the title of Diplomate, Feline Specialty, from the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners. He is certified to practice nuclear medicine by the State of Colorado Department of Radiaton Safety. His practice is located in Castle Rock, Colorado. For more information please visit his comprehensive website: www.CatSpecialist.com

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For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683 4 Twenty Questions Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

20 QUESTIONS

Assassinations 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.

19. 20.

Business Of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Who was shot by James Earl Ray? Which U.S. president had no assassination attempt on his life : Lyndon Johnson, James A. Garfield, or Gerald Ford? Which U.S. Senator was shot and killed in 1935: Huey Long or Howard Monstom? Name the Texas governor who was injured during the same incident as the assassination of President John Kennedy. Also known as El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, he was shot and killed in a New York City auditorium. Who was he? Which US president was shot and killed by Leon Czolgosz: Kenndy, McKinley, Grant, or Jefferson? Which US president was shot in the lung and survived? Which civil rights leader was critically wounded in an assassination attempt in 1980: Jesse Jackson, Nelson Mandela, or Vernon Jordan? When did Theodore Roosevelt experience an assassination attempt, before he was president, after he was president, or during his presidency? Name the governor of Alabama and presidential candidate that survived an assassination attempt that left him paralyzed. In 1948 President Harry S. Truman survived an assassination attempt by nationalists from what country: The Philippines, Cuba, or Puerto Rico? Name the strip-club operator who killed Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald. John Hinkley tried to assassinate President Reagan to impress what movie star? Name the president who survived two assassination attempts in one month. On what day and month was Julius Caesar assassinated? Who did “Squeaky Fromme” attempt to assassinate? The attempt to assassinate Ronald Reagan failed, but it left James Brady severely wounded. What position did Brady hold in the Reagan administration? A deranged man named Zangara made an unsuccessful attempt on the life of FDR. In the process, however, another political figure was killed. Who was he, a mayor, a governor, a senator, or a bodyguard? The CIA considered many assassination attempts on this leader, including poison cigars. Was he Mao Tse Tung, Fidel Castro, Nikita Kruschev, or Ho Chi Minh? In what year was Mahatma Gandhi assassinated? 1941, 1945, 1947, 1948, or 1951?

Answers: 1. Martin Luther King, Jr. 2. Lyndon Johnson 3. Huey Long 4. John Connally 5. Malcom X 6. McKinley 7. Reagan 8. Vernon Jordan 9. Post-presidency 10. George Wallace 11. Puerto Rican nationalists 12. Jack Ruby 13. Jodie Foster 14. Gerald Ford 15. Ides of March (March 15) 16. President Ford 17. White House Press Secretary 18. Mayor of Chicago 19. Fidel Castro 20. 1948

Directory

Castle Rock & Highlands Ranch

Parker & Franktown Areas

Basement Finishing Seller Construction, Inc..................................303-514-7701 www.SellerConstruction.com Cat Specialists The Cat Specialist...........................................303-663-2287 612 Atchison Way, Castle Rock Churches Center for Spiritual Living..............................720-851-0265 2301 Woodlands Blvd, Castle Rock Cleaning Kadillac Cleaners.............................................720-231-8481 Dance JoAnne’s Dance Studio....................................303-688-6221 1543 N Park St, Castle Rock Diesel Repair Shop Douglas County Diesel...................................303-660-9986 1221 Caprice Dr, Castle Rock Farm & Ranch Supply Circle B Farm & Ranch...................................719-481-6161 773-B Hwy 105 Palmer Lake HayCo.............................................................719-339-3525 Field Mowing Almar Farms...................................................303-805-9469 Gutters JPE Contractors...............................................303-663-8118 200 S Wilcox St., Castle Rock Home Services Mr. Appliance...................................................303-688-5233 www.mrappliance.com/douglascnty Natural Wellness Pharmacies ITC Compounding...........................................303-663-4224 651 Topeka Way #600, Castle Rock Piano Teacher Nancy “Bubbles” Horvath...............................720-344-4107 NancyHorvath@comcast.net Realestate Colorado Property Buyers...............................720-306-1806 www.copropertybuyers.com Roofing Arvada Roofing................................................303-432-2753 glenarvada@q.com Tax Return Preparation/Small Business Accounting Duncan & Company, LLC...............................303-386-5200 www.duncancocpa.com

Banks Champion Bank..............................................303-840-8484 16790 Centre Ct, Parker Cabinetry & Kitchen’s Brin Custom Cabinets....................................303-688-6743 Cell.................................................................303-304-6838 Cat Specialists The Cat Specialist...........................................303-663-2287 612 Atchison Way, Castle Rock Cleaning Kadillac Cleaners.............................................720-231-8481 Computers Onsite Computer..............................................303-909-3553 Customepc@gmail.com Diesel Repair Shop Diesel Repair and Performance......................303-841-6527 6250 E Pine Lane, Parker Farm & Ranch Supply Circle B Farm & Ranch...................................719-481-6161 773-B Hwy 105 Palmer Lake HayCo.............................................................719-339-3525 Financial Edward Jones/Cindy Rose..............................303.688.2127 2195 N Highway 83 #23 - Franktown, CO 80116 Firewood Franktown Firewood.......................................303-660-0072 7104 S Dillon Ct, Centennial Home Services Mr. Appliance...................................................303-688-5233 www.mrappliance.com/douglascnty Jewelry Stores Pinetree Jewelers.............................................303-841-2666 11028 S Pikes Peak Dr, Parker Natural Wellness Pharmacies Brown’s Compounding....................................303-805-9543 10259 S Parker Rd., Parker Real Estate Coldwell Bankers, Pius Schenker...................303-921-1749 www.piusrealestate.com Realestate Colorado Property Buyers................................720-306-1806 www.copropertybuyers.com Tax Return Preparation/Small Business Accounting Duncan & Company, LLC...............................303-386-5200 www.duncancocpa.com

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

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(303)400-4328 Scott McQueen Need a little peace, love and joy? Try morganite! Morganite was first classified with the colorful group of the beryls. Then in 1911, upon the suggestion of New York gemologist G. F. Kunz, the pink variety of beryl was named in honor of banker and mineral collector John Pierpont Morgan – thus, morganite. Why? Probably because JP Morgan had become one of America's most important collectors of gems and had assembled the most important gem collection in the U.S. consiting of over 1000 pieces. Morganite features a pink tone that radiates charm, vivacity and tenderness that the colorless beryl does not have. So, if you’re still shopping for that perfect gift – a piece of morganite gemstone jewelry might be precisely what you need. For sure, it will enchant the wearer and endear her to you forever! Some say the very site of morganite puts you in a good mood even when times are tough. Sounds like the perfect gemstone for today’s stress-filled world. We could all use a little peace, a little love, and a little joy! Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. It is located at 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker. For more information on gemstones or jewelry of any kind call 303.841.2666

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Essential Gifts for Do-It-Yourselfers It’s that time of year again, when you’ve got to think of gifts for friends and family that will be appreciated. Luckily, it’s easy to pick out gifts for the do-it-yourselfers. Most DIYers will outright tell you what they need, or you can casually survey their workspace to see what is not there. If you’re a DIYer who really wants something, here are a few things you can drop a hint about: --Power tools: The key word with handheld power tools is “rechargeable.” While corded power tools provide a consistent flow of electricity and reliable power, cordless drills are DIYers’ go-to standard because they can simply pull them off the charger and use them anywhere, no need to look for an outlet or extension cord. Prices: $40 to $249 --Portability: Most DIYers have more than one toolbox and, as their tool collection grows, they’re always on the lookout for one that meets their carry-around needs. Consider tucking a spare tool belt and some basic staples like a tape measure and screwdriver set into a durable toolbox. Prices: $8 to $90 --Spares: While it’s impossible to have an extra of everything, extra screws, nuts, bolts, nails and other hardware are essential to have around. Look for combination kits like picture hanger assortments, specialty nail and screw sizes, and cabinet and drawer hardware like handles and hinges for emergency repairs. --Cleanup: A wet/dry vacuum is an important and versatile part of any workshop. If your DIYer doesn’t have one of these yet, there are affordable models available. Prices: $49 to $400 HOME TIP: “I never ask my husband directly what tools or items he wants for Christmas. Instead, I ask him about the project he’s working on. There’s always some tool or part he’s missing; I just note it down and buy it for him.” -- Tara L., Richmond, Va. My new e-book, “101 Best Home Tips,” is available to download on Amazon Kindle! Pick it up or gift it today for just 99 cents! Send your questions or comments to ask@thisisahammer.com. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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Tidbits Information

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

BELLS AND WHISTLES (continued): team sport, in that the team must work together in harmony to ring the bells. It is similar to being a part of an orchestra. Each ringer must learn to do his or her part. There are many change ringing organizations in England. The oldest association is the “Companie of Ringers of the Blessed Virgin Mary of Lincoln” which was started in 1612. • The first true “peal” was believed to have occurred on May 2, 1715 at St. Peter Mancroft Church in Norwich, England. A peal is “a true touch of at least 5000 changes.” This magical ringing typically takes around three hours to ring! • A strange ban that occurred during World War II was the ringing of bells. Ringing was quickly reinstated when peace returned. • On January 1, 2000, in celebration of the start of the new millennium, bells were rung all over the world. • There has been change ringing in North America since 1744 with groups of ringers active in Quebec, British Columbia, South Carolina, Illinois and more at various times. By the middle of the 20th century, change ringing in bell towers had almost completely died out on the continent. Change ringing was occurring some with handbells but the history is slim on that. In the early 1960s there were only seven active bell towers in North America: four in Canada and three in the U.S. • The installation of change ringing bells at the new National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. in 1963 stoked the energy for new ringers in North America. Today The North American Change Ringers Guild, officially chartered in 1972, has more than 560 members with about 50 active bell towers in North America. • The London-based “Ancient Society of College Youths” is one of the oldest ringing societies, started in 1637. They have members all over the world. • While bell-ringing is an old and refined form of music, it is also popular in Christmas stories and songs that have nothing to do with classic bell tower tunes. Christmas bells are in many classic Christmas songs: “Jingle Bells,” “Silver Bells,” and “Christmas Bells are Ringing,” are three well-known Christmas carols that have been passed down for generations. • Santa Claus and his reindeer jingle bells as they fly through the sky. Bells are attached to the reindeer harnesses and Santa’s sleigh.

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Ask the Dentist

by Dennis L. Burgner, D.D.S.

Master, Academy of General Dentistry Q. My 7 year-old daughter has no cavities. Should she have sealants placed to protect her teeth, or can she just brush and floss? A. It depends on several factors. You and your daughter can control some factors, such as effective oral hygiene, diet (sweet snacking), and regular preventive dental visits. However, you cannot control the hereditary anatomy of her teeth. That is, some children (and adult) teeth have deep pits and fissured grooves (“groovy teeth”). It can become nearly impossible for the toothbrush bristle to reach that last little “sugar bug” entrenched deep into the deep pit or fissure. This plus even a little “sugar” in the diet from processed foods can set up decay. Research has shown that almost everybody has a 95% chance of getting cavities in these areas. A well-placed sealant can protect the “groovy” tooth surface from bacteria and acid attack caused by sweet snacking. Q. What is a sealant? A. sealant is a thin plastic film bonded to the chewing surfaces of the tooth. The sealant fills in the deep pits and grooves where bacteria can hide. The “sugar bugs” have fewer places set up shop, which prevents decay. It’s important to note that a sealant is only effective in the pits and groove areas, not the smooth surfaces of the tooth that are easier to clean.

Q. Are the effective? A. Yes! About 80% of decay occurs in the deep pits and grooves of the chewing surfaces. Combined with twice-daily brushing with a fluoridated toothpaste, healthy nutrition, and twice-yearly visits to the dentist, properly applied sealants are 100 percent effective in preventing cavities in these areas. Sealants have been described as “the greatest advance in preventive dentistry since fluoride”. Please send in your questions. You can Ask the Dentist by calling Dr. Burgner at 720-870-9500, or consult the website: www.ParkerLumineers.com

Please see our ad on page 2 of Tidbits 720-870-9500 10470 S Progress Way #100 Parker, CO 80134

8 Information

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Pet Holiday Hazards The holiday season is right around the corner and along with holiday traditions come holiday hazards for pets. There are numerous products, foods, plants, medications, etc. that are potentially harmful and even fatal. To make matters worse, we may be unaware of what poses a threat and what doesn’t. Below is a list of common holiday toxins. Silica Gel packets, Christmas tree water, Christmas tree needles, poinsettias, Christmas Cactus, mistletoe, holly, amaryllis, true lilies, ice melt, liquid potpourri, alcohol, glo-sticks and glow-in-the-dark jewelry, chocolate, sugarless gum/candy containing xylitol, macadamia nuts, onions, garlic, grapes, raisins, medications (Tylenol, Ibuprofen, prescription medications), yeast dough, coffee, moldy foods, avocado, salt, super glue, antifreeze, and rodentacides (rat or mouse poison). The potential toxicity of these varies. Some may cause mild gastrointestinal upset while others can be fatal.

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Other things that can cause complications are pets swallowing tinsel, ribbon or string (this seems to be a favorite past time for cats of all ages), bones and rawhide chews, and even tennis balls, chewing on electrical cords and batteries, and eating garbage or people food (table scraps).

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Cindy

Help Older Parents Avoid Financial "Scams"

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

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Here’s a disturbing statistic: One out of every five Americans over the age of 65 has been victimized by a financial scheme, according to the Investor Protection Trust, a nonprofit organization devoted to investor education. If your parents are in this age group, should you be concerned? And can you help them avoid being “scammed” so that they maintain control over their finances? The answer to the first question is “yes” — you should be concerned. Of course, as the numbers above show, most aging Cindy Rose Americans are not being swindled, which suggests they can take care of themselves quite well. Still, it’s no secret that many fraud schemes target seniors because of their concentrated wealth and in many cases, trusting nature. And as much as you’d like to think otherwise, your parents could be susceptible to rip-off artists.

After

Fortunately, in regard to the second question above, you can indeed take steps to help prevent your parents from being fleeced. Here are a few suggestions: Observe their behavior. If you live close to your parents, listen closely to any new friends, investment deals or sweepstakes they mention during your normal interactions.. If you’re in a different city, try to stay abreast of your parents’ behavior by communicating with them frequently and by checking in with other family members or friends who have occasion to see your parents. Urge them to watch out for suspicious e-mails. You’ve probably seen them — the e-mails offering to “reward” you with huge amounts of money if you will only contact such-and-such from a distant country and then put up a “small” sum to initiate some illdefined transaction. You probably “spam” these without a moment’s thought — and you should urge your parents to do the same. Remind them that any offer that sounds “too good to be true” is, without question, neither “good” nor “true.” Encourage them to further their financial education. Law enforcement agencies, health care professionals and reputable financial services providers all offer personal financial management programs designed specifically for seniors. Look for these types of programs in your area, encourage your parents to attend — and even consider going with them. Become familiar with their financial situation. Having a serious discussion with your parents about their finances may not be easy — but it’s important. The more you know about their investments, retirement accounts and estate plans, the better prepared you’ll be to respond helpfully if they mention an action they’re considering taking that, to you, just doesn’t sound appropriate. Suggest professional help. If your parents are already working with a qualified financial professional, they’re probably less likely to be victimized by fraud than if they were managing their finances on their own. And it’s a good idea for you to know their financial advisor, and for him or her to know you, as you may well be involved in your parents’ legacy planning. But if your parents don’t already have a financial advisor, you may want to recommend one to them, particularly if it’s someone you already know and trust.

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It’s entirely possible that your parents won’t need any assistance in avoiding financial scams. But, just in case, be prepared to act on the above suggestions. Your intervention could help preserve your parent’s financial independence.

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor. Cindy Rose, Financial Advisor Edward Jones 2195 N Highway 83 #23 - Franktown, CO 80116 303.688-2127 Member SIPC

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TRIVIA TEST By Fifi Rodriguez 1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is a philographist? 2. TELEVISION: Which actor played the character of ÒFonzieÓ on ÒHappy DaysÓ? 3. LITERATURE: Who wrote the childrenÕs book ÒMatildaÓ? 4. GEOGRAPHY: What tiny principality lies between Spain and France? 5. MYTHOLOGY: In Greek mythology, what was the Hydra? 6. FOOD & DRINK: What is muesli? 7. ART: Where is the Uffizi museum? 8. MEASUREMENTS: What does a kelvin measure? 9. MOVIES: What spell is used to disarm opponents in the ÒHarry PotterÓ movies? 10. ANATOMY: Where is the latissimus dorsi muscle located on the human body? Answers 1. Someone who collects autographs 2. Henry Winkler 3. Roald Dahl 4. Andorra 5. A many-headed monster whose heads could grow back if they were cut off 6. Breakfast cereal with fruit and nuts 7. Florence, Italy 8. Temperature 9. ÒExpelliarmus!Ó 10. Back

10 Church & Community

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Answers on page 5

new beginning

Community Church 10550 S. Progress Way, Suite 100 Parker, CO 80134-4029

Looking For a New Beginning? Join us for our Christmas Eve Candlelight Service Celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s birth 4:00PM and 5:30PM – Monday – December 24th We invite you to join us in our regular Services Sunday School for all ages 9:00AM Coﬀee and Fellowship 10:00AM Praise and Worship 10:30AM Wed Eve Youth Group 7:00PM E-mail: oﬃce@nbccparker.com – Phone: [303] 495-2949 – Web Site: nbccparker.com

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Alexandra Scripps Groos 23 years old 5’10” 110 lbs Blonde hair, Green hair LKA: Denver, CO Charges: ID Theft, Theft

Kallie Cunningham 25 years old 5’ 105 lbs Blonde hair, Blue eyes LKA: Aurora, CO Charges: Theft, Theft by Receiving

Renee Hightshoe 43 years old 5’2” 105 lbs Brown hair, Hazel eyes LKA: Castle Rock, CO

Lucas John Gray 21 years old 6’02” 145 lbs Brown hair, Blue eyes LKA: Castle Rock / Denver, CO Charges: Burglary

Charges: Theft, False Reporting, ID Theft

TAKE NO ACTION TO APPREHEND THESE PEOPLE YOURSELF! For immediate action call 303.660.7500 or your local law enforcement agency. To provide information & remain anonymous, call the Douglas County Sheriff’s warrant tip line at: 303.660.7574, email warrants@dcsheriff.net or leave a tip online at www.dcsheriff.net

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Moments in Time

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 11

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¥ On Dec. 18, 1777, the new United States celebrates its first national day of thanksgiving, commemorating the American victory at the Battle of Saratoga after the surrender of Gen. John Burgoyne and 5,000 British troops that October. ¥ On Dec. 22, 1808, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony has its world premiere in Vienna. The concert venue was freezing cold and the orchestra played poorly enough to force the nearly deaf composer -- also acting as conductor and pianist -- to stop the ensemble partway into one passage and start again from the very beginning.

¥ On Dec. 17, 1903, near Kitty Hawk, N.C., Orville and Wilbur Wright make the first successful flight of a self-propelled aircraft. Orville piloted the gasoline-powered, propeller-driven biplane, which stayed aloft for 12 seconds and covered 120 feet on its inaugural flight. ¥ On Dec. 19, 1917, four teams of the National Hockey League play the league’s first two games. At the time of its inception, the NHL was made up of the Canadiens and the Wanderers (both of Montreal), the Ottawa Senators, the Quebec Bulldogs and the Toronto Arenas. ¥ On Dec. 23, 1968, the crew and captain of the U.S. intelligence gathering ship Pueblo are released after 11 months imprisonment by the government of North Korea. The ship, and its 83man crew, was seized by warships on Jan. 23 and charged with intruding into North Korean waters. ¥ On Dec. 21, 1970, rock star Elvis Presley pays a surprise visit to President Richard Nixon at the White House to discuss the war on drugs. Presley apparently was not searched before being granted admission: Upon meeting Nixon, he presented the president with a gift -- a World War II-era Colt .45 pistol. ¥ On Dec. 20, 1989, “Roger & Me,” a documentary by Michael Moore about his quest to interview Roger Smith, then chairman and chief executive officer of General Motors, opens in theaters. The film examines the devastating impact on the people of Moore’s hometown of Flint, Mich., following the closing of several General Motors auto plants in the area.

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For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683 Laugh Lines

It’s All About Service & Horsepower, Pal! Ole & Sven 'Ole & Sven' were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!" Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear ya can drink dat jet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed. Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin?" Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?" Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?" Ole says, "No dat jet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often." Sven agreed. "Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting." Ole asked, "Vat's dat?" Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?" Ole stopped to think. "No" "Vell, DON'T,'cause I'm in Iowa The Church Fart An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were recently attending church services at The Villages. About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John .

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The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie. Janie, do you have a story to share?' ''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands. ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

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