TNT Magazine / Issue 1471

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November 7-13 2011 Issue 1471 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

AN INDULGE NT CHOCOLATE EXPERIENCE

UNDERGROUND GUIDE TO JAPAN Wander off the beaten track to find hidden gems

DRUG TOURIST DESTINATIONS Howard Marks tells all on our new-look website

KARAOKE GETS COOL Sing your heart out to hip hop, indie and rock

R A T C E N R E B M A

an Dream ic r e m A e h t d , hot cars an p p e D y n n h s Heard on Jo M g in t a ic x Into


ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

www.anglopacific.co.uk SO BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT OF EUROPE CHECK OUT ANGLO PACIFIC

FREEPHONE 0800 085 0355 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm


CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER It’s an exciting time at TNT Towers – today marks the launch of our new-look website. Log on to read exclusive interviews with Howard Marks, on drug tourism destinations; and with self-professed idiot Karl Pilkington on why he thinks he’s a genius. There’s loads of other stuff – including a myTNT section where you can start your own blog – as well as your regular favourites. Let us know what you think – carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

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MY LONDON

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DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

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SPOTTED

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LONDON SOUND

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LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

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COMPETITION

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CHATROOM AMY LEE

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LONDON SCENE

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SPARE TIME

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LIFESTYLE

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SHOPPING

33 34-35

Cover: Getty. Photos: Chapman Baehler, Getty

HEALTH & BEAUTY CAREERS

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MONEY

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LIVING

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NEWS & SPORT

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TRAVEL

55-76

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FEATURES SING YOUR HEART OUT

Ukulele backing and singing in a museum – London’s less likely karaoke options

BRING ME TO LIFE

AMBER HEARD

56

NEWS

57

SHORTBREAK

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MAD MEDIA MOGULS

LATE DEALS

60

HOTSHOTS

61

We look inside the world of the rich and crazy people who own the news

TOP FIVE

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48 HOURS IN... BRIGHTON CLASSIFIEDS

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109-113

DESPERATELY SEEKING

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Evanescence singer Amy Lee on her new album and fearsome reputation

DIARY

TIPS & STUFF

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The Rum Diary star talks Hunter S Thompson and the American Dream

RUDE AND CLASSY

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66

Hamburg: a mix of rock n’ roll, debauchery and sophistication

BIG IN JAPAN

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Unearthing Japan’s lesser-known gems, like raw chicken and snow monsters

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

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You know it’s nearly winter when the rinks appear

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Justine Mackay Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst

Shhh... SECRET LONDON ICE-SKATING RINK OPENS

PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 10 Greycoat Place, London, SW1P 1SB tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7960 6008 Fax 020 7960 6977 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com

NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM

SALES ENQUIRIES

November 4-January 8 Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD

020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com PHONE

WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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In the next few weeks, ice-skating rinks, synonymous with winter in these parts, will be popping up all over London. And the rink at the Natural History Museum is probably the most central and picturesque, along with the one in Hyde Park. Be warned though, at certain times of the day, these rinks become overrun with sugar-crazed kids so, if you’re not too confident and a bit wobbly on the ice, make sure you choose your moment to visit. £13

nhmskating.com

South Kensington

FRENCH FILM FESTIVAL

OXFORD STREET XMAS LIGHTS

LONDON GOLF SHOW

Don’t worry – it’s not all black-andwhite films about women smoking while lamenting their faded youth. Throughout the UK, French cinema is on display and although there is a classics programme for the chinstrokers, the animation and documentary sections offer an extra dimension. Check out the schedule online.

Well, we’re now officially in the runin to Christmas, so it’s time for you to start decorating your flat with glowing, styrofoam reindeer and making your own disastrous mulled wine. And, of course, marvelling at the pretty lights on Oxford St, because, without them, the festive season’s intrusion wouldn’t be nearly as special.

Maybe you’re already a hotshot looking for some expert analysis on your swing. Or maybe you’re a rank amateur hoping to discover a new hobby by belting a few balls at the driving range. Either way, this sprawling golf circus has plenty to offer golfers of all ability, who will likely be bound by shared frustration.

November 9-December 6 Cine Lumiere, SW7 2DT frenchfilmfestival.org.uk South Kensington

Until January 5 Oxford St, W1A 1EX oxfordstreet.co.uk Oxford Circus

November 11-13 Earls Court Exhibition Centre, SW5 9TA londongolfshow.com Earls Court

£10

FREE

£12


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Worth watching: the lord mayor’s fireworks

LORD MAYOR’S SHOW AND FIREWORKS Central London

It’s one of the capital’s oldest traditions, dating back to 1535, serving as an inauguration of London’s new lord mayor. It used to be a more formal affair but, these days, it combines peculiarly British forms of pageantry with a carnival atmosphere and a parade that snakes through the City, before culminating in a spectacular fireworks display. You can get in amongst it or find a vantage point to watch from afar. FREE

November 12 Between Mansion House and St Paul’s

St Paul’s

BONANZA FILM CLUB

HOWARD MARKS IS MR NICE

Spend an evening among your fellow film buffs at this north London institution. It’s part quiz, part dance night and part film club, but everyone is totally obsessed with kitsch esoterica from the small and big screen alike. Finally, a place where you will be revered rather than shunned for all that trivial bullshit stuck in your head.

Marks was a posh Welsh kid who became one of the world’s biggest smugglers of hashish, bringing him into contact with the CIA, MI6, the IRA and the Mafia. He spent seven years in jail for trafficking offences but now tours the world with his one-man show. READ OUR

November 9 Filthy MacNasty’s, 68 Amwell St, EC1R 1UU filthymacnastys. co.uk Angel

November 10 Leicester Square Theatre, WC2H 7BX howardmarks.name Leicester Square

FREE

Photos: Getty

lordmayorshow.org

£18

INTERVIEW WITH HOWARD MARKS – tntmagazine.com/nice


LONDONNEWS FIRST BIKES, NOW IT’S THE BORIS BUS

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The Proms will feature a Beethoven Symphony cycle as part of the festival

Boris Johnson described the first of his new buses for London as “a beautiful, beautiful thing” as he unveiled it in Northern Ireland last week. The bus, labelled a “21st century Routemaster” has an environmentally friendly serial hybrid engine and three doors to speed up entry and exit, and its two staircases are expected to lessen “dwell time” at stops, presumably making impatient commuters a little happier. It will also carry two crew members, one essentially acting as a conductor.

One of the members of my team reported a strong smell of urine, which is terrible for tourism. MP Mark Field tries to sully the reputations of the Occupy London protesters

A LOVELY DAY FOR A HAPPY COUPLE Usually jaded commuters were stunned when a full choir broke into song aboard the packed 19:57 train to Watford from Euston last Tuesday. Halfway through the version of Bill Withers’ hit Lovely Day, tailor Adam King, 34, got down on one knee to propose to his shocked girlfriend Lucy Rogers, 25, who burst into tears, but did say yes. Youtube it: “The 19:57 from Euston”.

ON THE TUBE

London 2012 Festival launched Millions across Britain involved as nation celebrates Olympics Bells ringing out across Britain, five million people dancing at once, and a host of famous artists displaying their talents – it’s all part of the London 2012 festival, a 12-week programme of cultural events celebrating the arts alongside sport, announced last week. The festival, which also involves films, concerts and live events across the UK, will feature bells ringing out across the nation on July 27 to signal the beginning of the Olympic Games. Leading artists will feature throughout the programme, including musician Damon Albarn, Australian actress Cate Blanchett playwright Alan Ayckbourn, American Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison and artist Damien Hirst. Events will run from June 21 to

September 9, the last day of the Paralympic Games. The Olympic Games run from July 27-August 12 and the Paralympic Games open on August 29. Organisers have promised there will be 10 million chances for the public to see festival events for free. Public involvement is high on the agenda – as part of the Big Dance, five million people nationwide will take part in everything from ballet to street dance and hip-hop to ballroom in shopping centres and public spaces around England. Famous landmarks including Stonehenge, which will used be as a firegarden, and Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh, will become art installations for the festival. It is estimated that it will cost the taxpayer about £52 million.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

James Murdoch

THIS WEEKEND’S CLOSURES/WORKS

CIRCLE: No service on the entire line all weekend.

METROPOLITAN: No service between Baker Street and Aldgate.

DISTRICT: On Saturday, no service between Embankment and Aldgate East and High Street Kensington and Edgware Road. On Sunday, no service between Embankment and Aldgate East and Earl’s Court and Edgware Road. HAMMERSMITH AND CITY: No

PICCADILLY: No service between Acton Town and Heathrow. 6

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Photos:Getty

service between Royal Oak and Baker Street.

Expect another media circus this week when James Murdoch, the son of media mogul Rupert, arrives back in town to face another parliamentary inquiry. The younger Murdoch, the chairman of News Corporation, initially appeared before MPs with his father in July. However, he will now face further questioning over his handling of the News Of The World phone-hacking fallout and the implications that he tried to prevent the true scale of the problem from emerging. Among evidence are emails suggesting senior News Corporation figures were aware of the problem in 2008 and worked to keep the issue private. One thing’s for sure, security will be tight to ensure no repeat of the Johnny Marbles ‘pie in face’ prank of July.



Sing like a legend or a strangled cat in the vocal booth at the British Music Experience

Acting famous Want to be the next Leona Lewis? Or too busy pretending to be the fifth Libertine? Here’s your platform, and it’s not a karaoke bar WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Karaoke has always had a reputation as the pastime of middle-aged Wham! fans, tragically intent on having their very own slot of fame. But now – for anyone who cringed at the thought of tacky karaoke nights but was secretly desperate to get up on stage for their five minutes of fame – there is the Gibson Studio at the British Music Experience. Tucked away in the O2, is a museum celebrating all the dazzling acts to have come out of Blighty during the past 60 years. But the best bit is the interactive Gibson room, where there are guitars, pianos, drums, mixing equipment and the almighty vocal booth, where visitors can experience a recording studio-style singing session to some classic British hits. Queuing up for a go, we hear some tentative screeching from the room, interspersed with giggles from two women who’ve opted for Dusty Springfield’s You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me. Nerves kick in. Am I going to sound like that? Probably. Too late now; it’s our turn. My friend insists on Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody and I agree, because, if you’re going 8

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to go out, you may as well do it in spectacularly humiliating style, right? Once the headphones are on and we’re facing the wall, we’ve forgotten about everyone else in the studio. We let rip with what can only be described as an unashamed shrieking and laughing fest. Half-way through, we discover the effects, and proceed to change our vocal pitch, whack in some harmonies and make our voices sound like synths during the guitar solo. When we go to leave, studio assistant Asha Sharma is waiting outside the booth. I feel compelled to apologise. “You weren’t that bad,” he replies. “Trust me, I hear a lot.” When I ask who the worst singers have been, he says most of the people who opt for Bohemian Rhapsody. But also Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis and Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees. When I catch up with curator Paul Lilley later on, he says: “People lose their shame very quickly when they come here. “Sometimes the singing is unbelievably bad, because you become oblivious to the fact you’re in an open booth. The Oasis song Wonderwall

seems to draw a lot of would-be karaoke pub singers, who murder it.” But not everyone who tries out the vocal booth is quite as dire. “I’m always shocked by how good people are. You do hear some people belting out songs very well,” he says. And people trying out the instruments often impress too. Lilley adds: “The other week there was a lad of about 12 or 13 and he was incredible on the drums.” Sharma says some people stay in the studio all day, honing their skills by playing along with on-screen tutorials led by artists like KT Tunstall, Blur and The Magic Numbers. And if you fancy trying your hand at production, there’s a mixing desk that lets you make your own remixes of Queen’s Radio Ga Ga. Sessions are then saved on electronic tickets so you can listen to all the recordings you made when you get home. Freddy Mercury would be proud. MORE ALTERNATIVE KARAOKE ›› The Bubble at the O2, Millennium Way, SE10 0DX, £12 North Greenwich britishmusicexperience.com


The BME: high tech and interactive

Jamming in the Gibson Studio

You’ll also find exhibitions that champion British music since the 1950s


HIP HOP KARAOKE OXFORD CIRCUS

SOULBREW HOXTON

There’s no singing, just rapping at this karaoke night with a hip hop twist. MC to your heart’s content with tunes from Busta Rhymes, Missy Elliot, Cypress Hill, 2Pac, Notorious BIG, Dr Dre, Dizzee Rascal, 50 Cent and other hip hop greats. Every performer gets a free bottle of beer after they spit their rhyme and the best rapper gets a goodie bag full of CDs. Performances are firstcome, first-served, so brush up on your best gangsta moves and get there early. FREE

Show off you pipes with some serious soul classics, backed by a live five-piece funk band. Perform music from all eras – from Jocelyn Brown to Beyonce. £5

Last Fri of every month. 8pm 1-5 Curtain Road, EC2A 3JX queenofhoxton.com Shoreditch High Street

SPEED DUETING ISLINGTON A heady mix of karaoke and speed dating, Speed Dueting gives you a chance to work those lungs to wow any potential suitor. Singers will be put into girl groups and boy groups (so no one has to go it alone), who then sing for each other. And as it’s Movember this month, moustaches are compulsory for the boys. £7

Every Thurs. 6pm-1am 5 Little Portland Street, W1W 7JD thesocial.com Oxford Street

Tues, Nov 15. 6pm 173-174 Upper Street, N1 1RG luckyvoice.com Highbury & Islington

HOUSE OF HOT BREATH KARAOKE BETHNAL GREEN

KARAOKE BOX MAYFAIR

INDIEOKE ISLINGTON

At Karaoke Box, every room has its own theme – try the Rat Pack-inspired Old Boys’ Room, the Eighties-style Mixtape Room, the cabaret-themed Showgirls Room, or maybe bounce around in the Lady Gaga padded-cell room.

After a game of bowling, head to the private lane-side karaoke rooms to sing some of the library of 7000 retro and indie classics. Floor-to-ceiling windows look out over the lanes, there are old-style red leather sofas and a mini-bar, plus the walls are covered with old records. Bookings last for two hours or more. Weekdays til 2am, Fri/ Sat til 3am Tavistock Hotel Basement, Bedford Way, WC1H 9EU bloomsburybowling.com Russell Square

Husband and wife duo Hot Breath don’t like to do things the normal way. So instead of putting on straightforward karaoke nights, they’ve come up with a host of better ways to get pissed and belt out some tunes. Previous karaoke nights include I Sing Dead People – a Halloween night with a songlist made up of only dead artists. The next night is Cardioke, which is done on crosstrainers and the person who burns the most calories during their song wins an extra-special gift. Every night features a “Sing, Spin & Win” policy that lets singers spin a wheel to win a mystery prize.

You get a backing band for this karaoke night that champions cheesy pop classics. But not just any backing band – it’s a 10-piece ukulele band.

Would you prefer to get drunk and belt out your favourite songs by Pulp, The Gossip, Joy Division or Le Tigre instead of the standard karaoke cheese? Sing along to big indie tracks with the backing of a live band and you could be on the main stage at Glastonbury before you know it. Popular tracks on offer include Franz Ferdinand Take Me Out, Pulp’s Common People and Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. After the show-offs have had their time to shine, a host of DJs play indie and pop until 4am. This sounds like a Friday night well spent – confirmed by the fact that BBC 6 Music’s Lauren Laverne is a fan.

Fri, Nov 11. 9pm Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, 42-46 Pollard Row, E2 6NB thehouseofhotbreath.com Bethnal Green

Thu, Nov 17. 7pm The Royal George, 133 Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0EA karauke.net Tottenham Court Road

First Fri of the month. 9pm The Buffalo Bar, 259 Upper Street, N1 7RU buffalobar.co.uk Highbury & Islington

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£30+

Daily. 3pm-1am 14 Maddox Street, W1S 1PQ karaokebox.co.uk Oxford Circus

KARAUKE SOHO FREE

£6

BLOOMSBURY LANES KARAOKE ROOMS BLOOMSBURY £30+


THE NO-TELL MOTEL GREEN PARK

ON BOARD KARAOKE EARL’S COURT

A room of debauchery at the Hawaiian-inspired nightclub Mahiki, where there’s a karaoke area and a fancy dress selection. Match your outfit to your song choice.

The Japanese know how to do karaoke like no one else, and this is London’s only authentic Japanese social karaoke bar.

Mon-Sat. 5.30pm-3am 1 Dover Street, W1s 4LD mahiki.com Green Park

Everyday. 12pm-1am 8 Kenway Road, SW5 0RR onboardkaraoke.co.uk Earl’s Court

£12+

BUNGA BUNGA BATTERSEA Bunga Bunga, the kitchy and incredibly brilliant tongue-in-cheek bar and restaurant that both champions and lampoons Italian politics, makes an interesting place for singing karaoke tunes. Scooters hang from the ceiling, pictures of Berlusconi adorn the walls and staff wear naked aprons of the opposite sex. Serenade diners from the stage, which has pride of place right by the bar and sports a painting of the Colosseum. Or let loose in a superbly kitsch private karaoke room, which is dedicated to The Eurovision Song Contest. FREE

KARAOKE IN GRANDMA’S BURNT OUT LOUNGE SHOREDITCH Book into Villain Bar’s themed rooms – Grandma’s Burnt Out Lounge, decked out with comfy armchairs and twee lampshades, or the red leather chair-adorned Mad Men-style Ripped Out Office. Both booths are connected, so you can listen to what’s going on next door and, if you’re feeling competitive, hold your own singing tournament. Booths host up to eight people and have a selection of more than 8500 tunes. They’re also free during the week and £10 per hour on Saturdays. They both have their own drinks fridge and there’s the option to pre-order snacks. You won’t want to leave.

Photos: TNT

FREE

Tues-Sat. From 5pm Villain Bar, 89 Great Eastern Street, EC2A 3HX villain-london.com Old Street

Thurs-Sat, from 11pm; earlier on weeknights 37 Battersea Bridge Road, SW11 3BA bungabunga-london.com Battersea Park

ROCKAOKE KENSINGTON

HOT VOX FESTIVAL CAMDEN

ALL STAR KARAOKE BRICK LANE

Continue the weekend at the “festival without the mud” at Proud Camden. In the main room, discover a clubnight with bands and DJs playing indie, rock, funk, soul and electro. In the VIP stables, you’ll find table football, pole dancing, plus karaoke and Guitar Hero. This week, the venue will host The Yes Men, Dancing Lotus, LazyTalk and DeSylva and the Deadhorses, who will no doubt inspire you to get creative on the mic or on that little plastic guitar until the small hours. It’s an ideal way to get over that Monday feeling.

After dinner and a game of bowling, head to either the “Country” or “Western” karaoke rooms to chant or croon the evening away to some retro and modern classics, over a few choice cocktails.

Release your inner diva at the original East End gay dance bar.

This alternative night out lets you live the rockstar dream and sing with backing from a live band. Rockaoke nights happen all over London, but the next is at AAA in Kensington, where entry is free before 9pm and £6 after, and all singers get to fuel their rockstar behaviour with a free drink. The songlist includes Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer, Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet, Johnny B Goode by Chuck Berry, Allana Miles’ Black Velvet, Rock ‘n’ Roll Star by Oasis and Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. You can also hire the Rockaoke band privately – now that would make a pretty awesome birthday shindig.

Mon, Nov 14. 7.30pm Proud Camden, Stables Market, NW1 8AH proudcamden.com Chalk Farm

Every Thurs, from 9pm BJ’s White Swan, 556 Commercial Road, E14 7JD bjswhiteswan.co.uk Limehouse

Fri, Nov 18. 8pm AAA, 11-13 Kensington High Street, W8 5NP rockaokenights.com High Street Kensington

FREE

£25+

Mon-Thurs til 12am, Fri/Sat til 1am All Star Lanes, 95 Brick Lane, E1 6QL allstarlanes.co.uk Shoreditch High Street

GAY KARAOKE LIMEHOUSE FREE

FREE

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MYLONDON

SAM YOUNG DJ What baffles me about London is the roadworks! They seem to never end and the cost of public transport constantly rises to cover them. We are getting ripped off. London’s best-kept secret is all of its enchanting parks and markets. If you want to see the real London head to one of them. I grew up in west London and spent a lot of time around the busy Portobello. A foodie secret: you can’t beat Falafel King in Acklam Road – I used to work there, back in the day. When I want to chill out I head to Primrose Hill with a good read, or to the cinema with my friends. I’m a huge movie buff! The most interesting person I’ve met is Quincy Jones. It was while I was DJing at Boujis and he had some great stories about his life and the artists he has worked with. He’s responsible for so many classics! And I met Guru (RIP) in a pub in Chelsea once – it was really random but he was the nicest guy. My favourite place for a drink is any of the local pubs around Primrose Hill or Chalk Farm, such as The Albert or The Engineer – they are all buzzy and great meeting places. For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat a good fry-up from Cachao on Regents Park Road and some Berocca. What gets me up in the morning? Usually the builders drilling two floors above me! My perfect weekend starts by waking up to watch some football on Sky, meeting up with a friend for some lunch, going to see a new movie, getting a game of bowling in, having a great sushi dinner, then doing a amazing set at one of my residencies (Boujis, Chinawhite or the Playboy club). The last naughty thing I did was a few months ago. I’d DJ’d an event and at the end of the night there were loads of bottles of vodka left on the tables and all the guests had left. I happily snuck a few in my DJ bag. Five words that sum up London: Lively, fast, beautiful, cosmopolitan, great. samyoung.co.uk

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LONDONDRINKS

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THE QUEENS ARMS PUB THE SCENE This quaint corner pub seems pretty unextraordinary until you behold the adventurous menus. Tucked away, off the main road on a cobblestone mew, it’s two blocks from the Royal Albert Hall, making it a favourite for musicians and performance crowds after an evening show. People crowd around the bar or sit at solid wooden tables below crystal chandeliers, being watched by marble busts donning quirky costume hats. It’s a warm, inviting environment that draws an eclectic clientele, an alternative to the more exclusive, posh pubs in the area. THE GRUB The main menu is always changing, but generally features local produce and meat in British fare done right. Their bar snacks include items such as edamame and peppered squid, as well as the traditional sausage rolls, brie and root crisps. They go all out with their Sunday menu, filled with roasts, fresh seafood, and dreamy desserts. Don’t leave without a bite to eat! BEHIND THE BAR The pub features more than 20 specialty beers and ciders on tap, and serves a spectrum of drinks from locally brewed ales to wines from around the world. BILL PLEASE Beers from £3.35; wine from £3.60 a glass; spirits £2.90. VERDICT It’s a place you’ll want to hunker down in when the weather turns dreary. Pop in with friends, find a corner table and you’ll end up staying for hours. KELSEY CLARK

30 Queens Gate Mews, Kensington, SW7 5QL

3 OF THE BEST ART BARS

thequeensarmskensington.co.uk

Gloucester

Queens Arms: great grub

GRAPHIC BAR

FREUD BAR

DOODLEBAR

Tucked away in Golden Square, this is a chameleonlike venue, put into the hands of a new graphic artist every six months. Currently, it sports a colourful industrial street art design.

Rotating art exhibitions dot the aged-concrete walls of this furniture emporium/ cafe/ cocktail bar, with pieces that are also available to buy. This is one of London’s best-kept secrets.

Intent on patrons unleashing their creative side, the walls, chairs, tables and even the waiters are all blank canvases waiting to be doodled on. It’s high concept stuff. Pens at the ready.

graphicbar.com

freud.eu

thedoodlebar.com

NEW WEBSITE WIN

A MEAL EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!

To celebrate the launch of our new-look website on November 7, we’re giving away a meal for two every day of the week. You and a friend could stuff your faces for free at The Cadogan Arms, Avalon, Comptoir Libanais, The Big Easy, Ed’s Easy Diner or Revolutions.

MAGAZINE.COM/WIN 14

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BITE SIZE

Meatballs: get your fill at the Quality Chop House

TRUE BLUE FOOD Craving food from Down Under? Well Soho restaurant Floridita is getting in ahead of Australia Day on January 26 with a special menu. With a six-course spread, executive chef Richard Sawyer has created meals such as seared sea scallops, grilled black Angus ribeye and melted blue-cheese gnocchi. For £85, you’ll also get a glass of top Australian wine to accompany your feast, plus there’s entertainment from a British/ Brazilian eight-piece band, Saravah Soul. Bonza. floriditalondon.com

SCORE A CREAM JOB If you love ice cream, you could land yourself one very sweet gig currently on offer – as a Haagen-Dazs taster. It’s a volunteer role for someone with a “unique sense of taste and smell”. The winner will learn how to make ice cream at the firm’s HQ in northern France, travelling to Belgium, and being taken on a flavour tour of London. Applications close November 24. Don’t let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity melt away. facebook.com/HaagenDazs

NEW COCKTAIL SALOON Its mixologists have taught staff in The Nightjar and The Savoy, now the esteemed Shaker & Co has a bar of its very own. Expect expertly mixed cocktails at the New Orleans-inspired saloon in Hamstead, which is named after the company. Go for inventive and affordable drinks, such as the Breakfast With Obama, made from Jose Cuervo Tradicional Tequila, housemade ginger-and-grapefruit liquer, bitters, honey, lime and sea salt. Lush. shakerandcompany.co.uk

MEATBALLS AT THE QUALITY CHOP HOUSE NORTH AMERICAN THE SCENE Farringdon’s hip Exmouth Market is the location for this newly opened meatball-themed eatery, which can be found in the only known surviving example of an 1870s working man’s chop house. The interior of this English Heritage-listed building has been well preserved with its grand (yet bum-numbing) six-seater Victorian wooden benches and old-school ceiling fans. Jazz and blues provide the laid-back soundtrack when we visit. THE GRUB Diners can choose from five different types of balls: beef and ricotta with tomato sauce; Greek lamb with cucumber and yoghurt sauce; chicken with lemon sauce; vegetarian courgette balls with a curry sauce; and pork and rosemary with a parmesan cream sauce. The meat is paired with sides that include mashed potato, spaghetti and pearl barley risotto. My lamb balls teamed with pasta are tasty and satisfying, perfect comfort food for the impending chilly nights. Desserts continue in the all-American vein: think Aunty Joyce’s egg custard and lemon posset with shortbread. My dessert, chocolate brownie ice-cream sandwich, is a sizeable treat

As well as a good selection of wines and beers, there’s a smattering of classy cocktails that includes the refreshing Blueberry Gin & Tonic (£5.95) and the Spa Fields Special (£5.95), which blends absinthe, cognac lemon and lime juices topped with prosecco. Off the booze? Plump for a gloriously thick and frothy malted milkshake (flavours include peanut butter and chocolate) for £4.25. BILL PLEASE A portion of three meatballs is £3.95 with any “bonus balls” costing an extra £1; side orders from £2.25; and dessert from £3.95. VERDICT If you like your grub simple and hearty, this is a great spot to munch meatballs in a classic Victorian dining room. It’ll probably be more of a hit with lunching workers and groups rather than couples on a hot date. JANINE KELSO BEHIND THE BAR

2-94 Farringdon Road, EC1R 3E

meatballs.co.uk

Farringdon

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30-Second Thurston 6:31pm. My wife is leaving because of my obsession with Big Brother.

Tenielle Wino’s mum said that Amy was ‘so ashamed of being an alcoholic’. She obviously drank to cope with that shame, then.

Derek the Deviant Wanted: “Chief Negotiator for Home Office”. Salary: Negotiable.

Georgetown Blue Tottenham hotspur manager Harry Redknapp has heart attack. That’s the last time he looks at Adebayor’s wage slip.

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Here’s a little heads-up before winter arrives. Stop moaning and make the best of it. We’re living in one of the world’s great cities, a true base for travel. Hop on a plane and discover somewhere different if London is getting you down. The likes of Spain, Morocco and Portugal are only a few hours away. Get down there, recharge and come back spreading positivity, instead of whining about what a shit life you’re having. Oscar, via email

GO OCCUPY! That was an excellent opinion piece by Tom Sturrock in TNT 1470. You only have to look at the illinformed and over-the-top reaction of the right-wing politicians and media to see that the Occupy protests have hit a nerve. We’re not in this together; take a walk down King’s Road and see if anybody there is worried about losing their job. The protesters have been camping out for two weeks to make a point about the kind of world we live in and started a conversation about how we can make it better. We should thank them for it. Jesse, Brixton

MO PROBLEMS While I support the aim of Movember – the raising of money and awareness for prostate cancer research – Christ, I detest the people who do it. Boring pricks who would otherwise never be daring enough to even contemplate an adventure

outside fashion convention. Suddenly, because everyone else is doing it, they become self-consciously ironic, stylishly retro, and even (gasp) zany. I deliberately shave my own upper-lip warmer off each November, to ensure I’m not lumped in with these tryhards. Instead, I simply have a month off from shaving my balls. Toby, via email

UNHAPPY FLIER Bloody Qantas strike ruined my hols! Why didn’t they just get some scabs in? There’s people out there who would kill for a job! Jocelyn, via email

TAKING THE PISS The Dutch are using pissbags instead of toilets on trains now?! Better be careful that Ryanair guy doesn’t catch on! Suzette, via Facebook AMBER HEARD /28 VISIT JAPAN /72

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YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @WereJustTeenss Dear facebook friends who are now getting a Twitter, i made a twitter to get away from you. Sincerely, GTFO! @DalaiLama: Even for people who have no spiritual beliefs, a peaceful mind is important. @drakkornoir: #Guys Stop asking for faithful girls when you’re chasing hoes

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Psychedelic sex-funk: the lads doing their thing on stage

JAHN VANNISSELROY FOR THE RECORD What a letdown Lulu, the muchanticipated collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica, turned out to be. Its sludgy riffs and Reed’s often tuneless spoken word rantings, reminiscent of bad beat poetry, fail to work. Billed as a ‘horror opera’, Lulu tells the tale of a stripper who becomes a social climber but ends up selling her body. The two musical powerhouses should be commended for exploring new ground, but the hype around this project was so huge – Reed even pitching it as the “best thing done by anyone, ever” – that it was going to have to be perfect to live up to it. It’s not. Instead, it’s a tough, often boring listen; a series of indulgent jams – probably great therapy for the parties involved – given a major label release. If you do manage to reach the 20-minute finale, Junior Dad, like the album’s protagonist, you’ll feel a little violated. Fans of Reed and Metallica should still take a listen – you’ll just be hard-pressed to go back for a second.

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS The 02, Peninsula Square, SE10 ODX NOV 7, 9 & 10 | DOORS 6.30PM | From £50

When guitarist John Frusciante, the man behind the music of such catchy songs as Tell Me Baby, Soul To Squeeze and By The Way, quit the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2009, bassist Flea wondered if it was the end of group. Losing such a vital cog was always going to be tough on the Chilis’ machine, but when a replacement in the form of Frusciante’s protege, Josh Klinghoffer, stepped up to the plate, the band got behind the idea of a new album and produced this year’s I’m With You. It’s testimony to the Peppers’ past successes that a record receiving middling reviews could still yield a world tour – by the time the LA rock aristocrats arrive in London they will have completed stadium gigs in the likes of Osaka, Lima, Santiago, Rio De Janiero, Stockholm, Cologne and Belfast – but the band has an enormous back catalogue of outstanding songs and isn’t afraid to delve in to it. Expect to hear songs from as far back as 1985’s Freaky Styley, an era when the Chilis built their reputation as energetic partyboys in the clubs of LA; covers of Neil Young and Jimi Hendrix; and a host of their newer, more radio-friendly efforts. After almost 30 years, Flea, singer Anthony Keidis, drummer Chad Smith and now Klinghoffer still aspire to please their fans with their original blend of punk, rock, funk, a little afrobeat and lyrics which feature the two constant themes of sex and California. This is either your last chance to see an alternative rock giant or your first chance to see a band of exceptional musicians entering an unforeseen creative period. Let’s hope it’s the latter. Whichever, it’s bound to be a fun show. viagogo.co.uk

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NEW BAND

ST VINCENT GIG THU, NOV 10. 7.30PM £12.50

The Manhattan multi-instrumentalist’s musical style has been described as teetering between madness and happiness, so be prepared for a bit of a rollercoaster ride. She used to be part of Surfjan Stevens’s touring band and her latest album, Strange Mercy, has drawn rave reviews from the critics, so this show is one not to miss.

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Queen Elizabeth Hall Southbank, SE1 8XX southbankcentre.co.uk

Waterloo

WHITE HEAT

GIGALUM SUNDAYS

CLUB

CLUB

TUE, NOV 8. 8PM £5

NOV 13 & 20. 3PM-11PM FREE

Forget work on Wednesday and head to this Mayfair club night for a good dose of indie, electro and techno from DJs Matty and Marcus. Expect to dance your ass off to tunes from the likes of LCD Soundsystem, OFWGKTA Cut Copy, Holy Ghost! Aeroplane, Metronomy, Jamie XX and Friendly Fires.

David Jones, who produced the best-selling dancetrack of 2009 with his remix of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, kicks off the first of these two top-class Sunday sessions, stopping off from his sell-out world tour to grace the decks. If you miss out, next week, the Kaiserdisco will be hosting a party to remember. Best of all, it’s free.

Madame Jojos 10 Brewer St, W1F OSE madamejojos.com Piccadilly Circus

Gigalum 7-8 Cavendish Parade, SW4 9DW gigalum.com Clapham South

RISE AGAINST

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GIG

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WED, NOV 9. 7.30PM £20

SAT, NOV 12. 9PM £15

THU, NOV 10. 7PM £16.50

Get a dose of hardcore punk rock in ya. Rise Against, known for their political lyrics and activism, are in town to showcase latest album, Endgame. Rage Against The Machine guitarist Tom Morello opens, performing as his solo project, The Nightwatchman – surely worth the price of admission alone.

A night of D’n’B, mixed in with dubstep, old-school rave and a little wobble for good measure. Goldie (above) headlines, but there’s a wealth of talent in attendance including New Zealand’s Mt Eden Dubstep, Trolley Snatcha, Skism, Emalkay, 16 Bit, Bare Noize and Artificial Intelligence.

The Kiwi electro-pop outfit picked up the Philip Hall Radar Award at the Shockwaves NME Awards in February. Their catchy debut album, Passive Me Aggressive You, has attracted rave reviews, and, after a summer on the festival circuit, they’re establishing themselves as a top live act. Beg, steal or borrow a ticket.

Brixton Academy 211 Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL 02academybrixton.co.uk Brixton

Koko 1a Camden High St, NW1 7JE koko.uk.com Mornington Crescent

Roundhouse Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH Roundhouse.org.uk Chalk Farm

DRY THE RIVER THE BUZZ SO FAR This London quintet does a nice little trade in acousticbased alt-folk, a sound still popular among uni students and festival crowds. They’ve attracted the ears of Foster The People, who will use them as support in Germany this month, and also Q Magazine, which has penned them in to perform at Q Now: The Sessions in January. Among their many influences are Paul Simon, Neil Young and David Attenborough but upon hearing track New Ceremony, you’d guess singer Peter Liddle has a listened to a little Brandon Flowers as well. THE CRITICS SAY “Their mixture of laidback acoustic strumming and punk immediacy makes a suitable soundtrack to lazy days” Clash Music THE PLUG EP Weights and Measures out now drytheriver.net

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 7 Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin, house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £5.

BOOK NOW!

Glamrox Resident DJs spin house, breaks, disco, dubstep, hip-hop and R‘n’B. Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-3am. £5. Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1pm. £4, free before 9pm. I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.50. Iluvlive DJ Melody Kane spins hip-hop, grime, reggae and R‘n’B, plus Artful, Josh Osho, Stooshe, Joe Black, Fearless and Jaya perform live, with host Ras Kwame. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 7.30pmmidnight. £10, NUS £5, guestlist £7.

SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA Milton Keynes National Bowl, July 14, 2012. £45 Get ready to party your ass off! Summer will be upon us again and SHM will bring their electro-house goodness to ensure no-one is left standing still. MK 1LN

swedishhousemafia.com

WEDNESDAY 9

Popcorn Jonesey, Jamie Hammond, Harvey Adam, Terry T Rex and spin dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Burlesque In Your Kitchen & Club Fabulous DJs spin electro, plus live bands, and burlesque performances from Kiki Kaboom, Ginger Blush, Kitty Devine and Ophelia Bitz. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £5.

Rehab DJs Val, Satoko, Zoe Demonettes, Joe, Saral and Hale supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 10.30pm.

Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3.30am. £6.50, NUS £5.50, w/flyer £4.50.

TUESDAY 8 Bootcamp Rob C and Scewpulous play techno and house. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 9pm2am. £3, mems £2 before 10pm. Dirty Fuxx DJ Will Manning spins house, techno, electro, hip-hop, R‘n’B, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 9pm-1am. £5, NUS £3. Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1pm. £4, free before 9pm. OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm. TV Nights Maz and Bloody Awful Poetry spin rock, funk and blues, plus live music from Burning Beard, Born Blonde, Alex Vargas, Spring Offensive and Daniel Gouk. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, w/flyer £6. White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus play electro, techno and indie, plus The Chap perform live. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 8pm-3am. £6, adv £5.

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Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10. Fat Poppa Daddys Resident DJs spin hip-hop, funk, electro, house, dubstep 1980s hits, indie and reggae. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £5. Filthy Habits Student Night DJs play chart hits from the 1980s, 1990s and now. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 8.30pm-3am. £5, NUS £3. Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 6pm-1am. £5. N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2. Roda De Samba Ulisses Bezerra and Groupo So Kem Eh spin Latin and samba beats. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5. Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

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THURSDAY 10 The After Work Jam TC Fords, Invasion Crew, Jag 1 Sound and Patrick J supply R‘n’B, dancehall, soca and funk. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (020 8993 2915). 8pm-late. £5, free before 11pm. Balada House DJ Jose Luis plays house, funk and Latin beats, plus a live percussionist. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 7pm2.30am. £5, free before 9pm. Caribbean Thursdayz Resident DJs play Latin, funk, hip-hop, R‘n’B and reggae. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482). 9pm-late. £5. C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm. Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. £15, concs £10. Grab My Junk Burlesque performances and a game show with Mat Fraser, Crimson Skye, Emerald Fontaine & Sophia St Villier and Sienna Lately. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727). 8pm-1am. £10, adv £8. Hat Club Katie Cooper, Damien Stone, Danny Keston spin uplifting house. Piccadilly Institute, London Pavillion, Piccadilly, W1V 9LA (020 7287 8008). 5pm-3am. £10, £7 before midnight, £5 before 10.30pm, NUS £2. Overproof X The Bang Bang CJ Beatz, Motive, Skinny Macho, Mr Smith and 7oel spin dubstep, dancehall, grime and hip-hop. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3am. £7, free before 11pm. Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-midnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire.

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SATURDAY 12

Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm, mems free.

BBM Presents The Loose Cannons, The Don-Daddas and Rob Da Bank spin electro, house and techno. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 8pm-2am. £10, free before 9pm, concs £7 guestlist before 10pm.

YoYo Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime, plus live music. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7.30pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

Cubism Freaky Disco, Mark Gwinnet, Paul Johnson and Deanoloco spin house and techno, plus Saytek performs live. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 3pm-3am. £15, £10 before 10pm, free before 9pm.

FRIDAY 11

Fabric Craig Richards, Tiefschwarz, Tom Trago and Terry Francis spin house and techno, plus Octave One performs live. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, NUS £10, £9 after 4am, £23 inc CD.

Clocked Gavin Herlihy, Nico Lahs, Billy Stock, Christian Browne, Tommy Wall and Lewis Chenery spin house, techno and electro. The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339). 9pm-4am. £10, adv £6. Eid Show DJ AK and DJ Nacim play Arabic music, plus A Jubba, A Holland and F Fiska perform live. The Coronet, , SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). 10pm-4am. £25/ £20 before midnight Electrojamm Electronica supplied by Electrixx, Far Too Loud, Mary Miss Fairy, 2D Noize, Gargo, DJ Erroi, DJ Malaka, Chris Tofu, Swingrowers and Sacha Dieu. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-6am. £10, adv £8. Flex Presents It’s A London Thing Back In The Day DJs EZ, Pioneer, Scott LondonThing Garcia, Footloose, Andy M and Carloss spin garage, house and old skool. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm-5am. Adv £15. I Love Pacha DJs Rollover, CK, Techno Notice, Olly Holmes, David Blackman, Jordan B, Sub Terrania, Samantha Blackburn and Mauro Ferno & Mestivan spin house, techno and electro. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 11pm-late. £15, adv £10. Kid Koala’s Space Cadet Headphone Concert The Canadian DJ and turntablist plays hip-hop and electronica live from his latest album Space Cadet. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). 7pm-late. £22.50. On The Real Spin Doctor, Mr Thing, Chris P Cuts and Bruce Wayne spin hip-hop, rock and R‘n’B, plus Moka Only perform live. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3.30am. £8, adv £5. Phatphingers Resident DJs spin electro-disco and house. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Soca Frenzy DJs Shaker HD, Tate, Tyrone, Ratty, Bliss, Stamina, Cold Chizzle, Mr Migz, DJ Scooby and Ninjaman Club Zouk Lloyd supply soca, reggae and dancehall, plus Tian Winter, Benji, Bomani and Ms Desire perform live. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000). 11pm-5am. £25, concs £8-£12.

Heroes Christian Smith, Bloody Mary, Warboy, Inigo Surio, Geshe Ewing, Paul Unkel and La Gosse spin house, techno, disco and electro. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-11am. £20, concs £15, adv £13. Mixmag Cosmonauts DJs spin garage, pop, dance and disco. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm7am. £15, concs £10, £8 after 4am. Regenerate Hilton Caswell spins trance, house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Stroboscopic Artefacts Showcase Xhin, Lucy, Roman Lindau, Sascha Rydell, Pfirter and Inigo Kennedy supply techno, electronica and dub, with visuals from Oblivious Artefacts. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 10pm-6am. £20. Turn It On Kissy Sell Out plays electro and techno. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). 10pm-late. £15. Twisted Society Damian Schwartz, Alexis Raphael, Dan Farserelli and Joseph Onik provide house and techno, plus Digitaline perform live. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). 8pm-4am. £20, adv £15.

SUNDAY 13 Groove Sanctuary African-Latin, electronica, funk, disco and deep house from DJ Jimbo, Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 9.30pm-3am. £5, £3 before 11pm. In The Box DJs Enzo Gomes, Manjit, Clubholic, Kid K and Beppe Gallo play dance and electro. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 7pm-1am. £10, £5 before 9pm, ladies free before 9pm. Licked Present David Jones plays house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 3pm-11pm. Free. WetYourSelf Dexter Kane, SAOirse, Cormac, Jacob Husley and Peter Pixzel spin house and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-6am. £10, adv £8, NUS £5.


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MONDAY 7 John Barrowman The Glasgowborn entertainer and TV personality performs pop hits and songs from musical theatre. London Palladium, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (0844 412 2704). £25-£60.

St Vincent Annie Clark plays soaring chamber and electronictinted alt pop in support of the album Strange Mercy. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £12.50 & £15, concs £6.25 & £7.50.

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Tinie Tempah Mainstream grime with dubstep influences from the London-born rapper, who garnered success at 2011’s BRIT Awards. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £23.50.

Christopher Cross The Grammy Award-winning American singer-songwriter performs pop and soft rock in support of his album Doctor Faith. The Bloomsbury Theatre, Gordon St, WC1H 0AH (020 7388 8822). £30. Wanda Jackson The rockabilly singer-songwriter from Oklahoma performs her hits. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £18.50. Wiz Khalifa Platinum-selling hip-hop from the American rapper, promoting his debut album, Rolling Papers. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £21.50. My Morning Jacket The Kentuckybased five-piece performs alt country-rock and promotes its sixth studio album, Circuital. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £20. Aaron Neville, Keb’ Mo’ Band R‘n’B and soul by the New Orleansborn singer. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £20-£35. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fool’s Gold The American four-piece plays funk-infused rock in support of its album I’m With You. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £45 & £49.50.

TUESDAY 8 Diana Jones, Muntu Valdo Appalachian folk and countryblues from the Nashvillebased singer-songwriter. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £17.50. Duff McKagan’s Loaded The American singer-guitarist and former Guns N’ Roses bassist leads his hard rock outfit. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £17.50. The Rise, Stand Upright In A Cool Place Contemporary hard rock band from London. The Bowery, New Oxford St, WC1A 1EP (020 7580 3057/ cc 0844 477 1000). £11.50.

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Scroobius Pip Hip-hop by the London-based singer and half of a famous double act. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £11.50.

FRIDAY 11 Turin Brakes, Jersey Budd The duo plays acoustica-tinted modern folk. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £23.

NEW ORDER Troxy, December 10. From £70 Bernard Sumner and mates arrive in the capital for their first London gig in more than five years. It’s sure to be packed to the rafters. 490 Commercial Rd, E1 0HX

WEDNESDAY 9 Priscilla Ahn Indie-folk by the Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter. Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £12. Electric Strawbs Progressive folk-rock from the veteran fivepiece. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.50. Fountains Of Wayne The New York-formed four-piece plays powerpop and rock in support of its album Sky Full Of Holes. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £17.50. Girls The San Fransisco-based band plays lo-fi indie-rock. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £11. The Head And The Heart The Seattle-based outfit plays melodic indie-folk with pop and rock influences. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £12.50. Stevie Jackson Indie-pop from the Glaswegian singersongwriter and Belle & Sebastian guitarist. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £15. LMFAO Electronic hip-hop from the American two-piece. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12. Moishe’s Bagel The Edinburghbased five-piece plays Klezmer and Balkan rhythms. Artsdepot, Nether St, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA (020 8369 5454). £16, concs £14.

Switchfoot, In Case Of Fire Commercial pop-rock by the San Diego-based band. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.

Negativwobblyland, Alan Courtis, EVOL Experimental electronica from the threepiece. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £12, adv £10.

Washington Electro-pop from Australian singersongwriter Megan Washington. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £9.

The Parlotones The South African four-piece plays rock. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

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Rise Against The Chicago-based four-piece plays hardcore punk. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £20.

THURSDAY 10 The Antlers Indie-rock from the Brooklyn-based threepiece. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £12.50. Any Swing Goes Swing from the London-based big band and guests. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £20, booking essential. Chic & Nile Rodgers Funk and disco by the chart-topping band from New York led by the guitarist, producer and songwriter. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £23.50.

Ane Brun The Stockholmbased Norwegian singersongwriter and guitarist plays reflective alt pop and acoustic folk in support of her album It All Starts With One.The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000). £13. J Cole The American rapperproducer signed to Jay Z’s record label Roc Nation performs hip-hop from his debut album, Cole World: The Sideline Story. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £18.50. Detroit Soul Soul favourites from the nine-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm. The Devin Townsend Project Prog metal by the Canadian guitarist-producer and colleagues. University Of London Union, Malet St, WC1E 7HY (0870 060 3777). £17.50.

Deadstring Brothers Alt country from the Nashville-based outfit. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £12, adv £10.

Fernando’s Kitchen World, African and Latin music by the London-based band. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £13, adv £10.

The Good, The Bad & The Queen Damon Albarn, Tony Allen, Paul Simonon and Simon Tong reunite to play alternative rock. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). £23.50.

Charlie Khan & The Bullfrog Chorus, Mishkin Fitzgerald The London-based singer and musician leads his retro pop and skewed swing combo.The Miller, Snowfields, SE1 3SS (020 7407 2690). £5.

Madina Lake, My Passion Alt rock from the American four-piece. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £14.

Nine Below Zero The South London band play blues and R‘n’B. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £18.50.

Magazine, In Fear Of Olive Former Buzzcocks member Howard Devoto leads his Manchester-based postpunk and new wave outfit. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/cc 0844 477 2000). £25. Metropolis High energy soul sixpiece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm. The Naked And Famous Alt pop by the band from New Zealand. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £16.50. Alan Price Soulful pop-rock from the former member of the Animals. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.

SATURDAY 12 Anaal Nathrakh Extreme metal with elements of grindcore, death metal and industrial by the Birmingham-based band. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £15. Sunidhi Chauhan, K.k Bollywood music and Asian pop from the Indian playback singer. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £25-£75. The Damned: 35th Anniversary Tour The London-based five-piece plays punk-rock. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £20. Mick Flannery Folk from the Cork-born troubadour. Irish Cultural Centre, Blacks Rd, W6 9DT (020 8563 8232). £15, concs £12. Motorhead, Anti Nowhere League, UK Subs Veteran heavy metallers led by rock icon Lemmy. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £32.50. Never The Bride Londonbased pop-rock band. The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £15. Gilbert O’Sullivan The Irish singer-songwriter performs folk. Cadogan Hall, Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ (020 7730 4500). £32.50. Eric Ranzoni Blues Band Piano-led blues outfit. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm. T.Love Rock band from Poland. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25 & £35. Gary Williams The vocalist and star of the West End’s Rat Pack sings swing. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £25.

The Rifles, A Life In Film The outfit plays mod-influenced indierock. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £16.50. TV-2 The Danish band plays pop-rock. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £28 & £38. The Ukranians, Shanne & Nicos Ukrainian folk-rock with traces of punk by the band. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £12.50, adv £10. Within Temptation, Anneke Van Giersbergen Melodic goth rock band from The Netherlands. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £18.50.

SUNDAY 13 Ozcan Deniz Pop and Turkish folk by the Aydin-based singeractor. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £29-£69. Steve Hackett Progressive poprock from the former Genesis guitarist. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25. Rihanna, Calvin Harris Charttopping R‘n’B from the Barbadosborn starlet, promoting her album Loud. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £40-£55. Guillermo Rozenthuler South American music by the Buenos Aires-born vocalist and guitarist. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £28.50 inc meal. Shakin’ Stevens The swivel-hipped rock ‘n’ roller from the 1980s sings his hits. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £29.50. The Sisters Of Mercy The band performs gothic rock. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £28.50.

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Amy Lee The Evanescence lead singer says her band is better than ever, and it’s got nothing to do with her iron fist INTERVIEW REBECCA KENT

You’ve just been voted the Hottest Chick In Hard Rock for 2011 by Revolver Magazine. What do you reckon? That stuff is always a little bit silly, but it’s awesome people think that. I’ve just rolled off the bus wearing the same clothes I was in last night and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet, so probably not so hot at the moment. You’ve said your new self-titled album was one of the happiest-sounding you’ve ever made. How so? When I was writing the music I was in a happier place in my heart – I’m pretty stable; I’m married, I’m not a tormented teen anymore. But making this album has definitely been a journey. It took a while to really find the vision for what I am doing. I was writing a ton and I just knew that I wanted to be making music again and I wanted to be making an album, but I didn’t know for a long time if it was an Evancesence album or what. Once I’d figured out that out, there was a ton more work to do, such as helping our band find our sound as a team. A tough journey like that helped really push the aggression forward for me. And so while there’s plenty of album that isn’t angsty, you can still hear the frustration and anger of that journey. What was the source of that anger and frustration? It was five years between albums and I just really wanted to try to find myself apart from Evanescence – the thing that’s identified me for many years. I’m more centred now, but I had to get completely grounded and disappear for a while first. A lot of that was really just me struggling with myself and trying to figure out what I wanted, and a lot of these songs are me telling myself not to be afraid to do what I was born to do. You have a reputation for being ironfisted when it comes to your band (it’s had five different line-ups). Is that true? I don’t think I am, I really don’t. It’s kind of hard, you know. I’ve always felt like if anybody ever didn’t want to be here; didn’t just love this and want to do this, then they shouldn’t be here. You can’t force somebody to stick around. Plus, people have bailed on me more often than not

Bite me: Amy does her best hot rock-chick look and I think that’s just people having different priorities and their lives changing – and that’s cool. Our band has only gotten better through all of the growing pains and everything that’s happened over the past decade. Now we have the strongest line-up we’ve had, hands down. But I wish you could talk to one of the guys instead of me trying to sell myself. They’d tell you they love working with me. And we haven’t lost a member in about six years, by the way.

You once had to demand your albums not be promoted in Christian stores. What was that about? When we first signed to our record label (Wind-Up), they weren’t sure what to do with us. I’m not sure they really understood what we were about. They had sort of a formula for marketing things that was based on the way they marketed Creed. We are not a Christian band and I wouldn’t want to market us that way. I don’t want to sell religion; that’s not what I’m here for.

Ben Moody, who you started the band with (the two fell out in 2003) said your relationship turned into an ‘all-out war’. However, he wished you well. How’s your relationship with him now? I haven’t talked to him in so many years. We lead two totally different lives. Of course, I wish him and everybody else the best.

Apparently you wrote a song for the film The Chronicles Of Narnia that was rejected because of its dark sound. I write songs for movies all the time when the idea comes to mind. We’ve tried a few different things and sometimes things work and sometimes things don’t. What’s cool is when they don’t and we’ve got a great song in our pockets for the record. The song that we wrote for the first Narnia movie was Together Again, which we were able to release last year and give the proceeds from the iTunes sales for a month to the victims of the Haiti earthquake. It’s cool. Anything that’s going to make you create or write a song is something you can’t lose out from at the end of the day.

What’s the weirdest thing a fan has sent you? Somebody sent us a piece of hair and wanted Terry (Balsamo, the band’s guitarist) to weave it in to one of his dreads so they could be together forever. I’ve got a really cool blanket with sewnon pictures of all of us on it, and I’ve gotten hand-made toys. Once, somebody even made a clay animation video of us running around a graveyard.

Evanescence’s latest, self-titled album is out now on Wind-Up and EMI

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21 Jump Street: The Movie veers into some unexpected territory

THE RUM DIARY FILM review by Tom Sturrock STARRING: Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Michael Rispoli | 15 | 120 mins

WUTHERING HEIGHTS FILM STARRING: Kaya Scodelario, James Howson, Nichola Burley | 15 | 129mins

Must we really revisit Bronte’s gothic classic, charting the romantic peaks and troughs of moody misanthrope Heathcliff and Cathy, his hysterical moo of a girlfriend? Director Andrea Arnold has at least shaken things up by casting a black actor to play ‘Cliff. But is it a serious attempt to add a new dimension to the narrative? Either way, expect plenty of undying passion and windswept moors. On general release

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Paying homage to Hunter S Thompson, the eccentric kingpin of Gonzo journalism, The Rum Diary offers a likeable line in old-school hedonism and ripping yarns but a rambling focus means it lacks the urgency and balls-to-the-wall commitment that characterises the Good Doctor’s best work. Booze-worn journalist Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp) arrives in Puerto Rico to start a new job on an ailing English-language rag, The San Juan Star. Falling in with a cast of oddballs and arseholes, wheeler-dealers and dangerous women, Kemp fights corruption – after initially abetting it – and drinks heroically throughout. At its best, The Rum Diary is enjoyably chaotic – there are cockfights, car chases and a hermaphrodite voodoo witch-doctor. It is also, at times, beautifully atmospheric – vibrant Carnival scenes, glorious coastal vistas, old journos drinking in beach-side bars until relentless tropical rains roll in. It’s all great fun – eminently watchable, stylishly shot and accompanied by a cracking soundtrack. At one point, though, Kemp laments, “I’ve got no voice – I don’t know how to write like me”. The film suffers a similar listlessness, failing to settle into a story it wants to truly inhabit. Its early episodic structure infuses The Rum Diary with a sense of adventure but bleeds it of momentum; much of the set-up proves tangential when the film is left groping for a satisfying resolution – Amber Heard’s smoking-hot female lead, for example, is jettisoned two-thirds through and Aaron Eckhart’s shady property developer simply wanders back to his beach-house, never to be seen again. GOOD FOR: Those who like style with their substances. Read our interview with Amber Heard on page 28 .


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Aussie comic superstar Brendon Burns brings his critically acclaimed show Y’ Know – Love ‘n’ God ‘n’ Metaphysics ‘n’ Shit to London for a special DVD recording. A comic love letter, and ramble through Burns’ brilliantly insane mind, this show has a giant twist in its tail. It’s the last time this show will be performed live – don’t miss it. Bloomsbury Theatre WC1H 0AH. Nov 12. £10-£12 thebloomsbury.com Euston Square

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Now in its 30th year, Dazzle returns to London to introduce exciting new designers to the fray and welcome back some old faces as well. On display will be hand-crafted contemporary jewellery and metalwork by leading European craftsmen, as well as prints from London artists showcasing innovate imagery and techniques.

With a stroppy 15-year-old daughter and the threat of losing her job, being 50 isn’t proving easy for Tamsin Greig’s Hilary, who once protested at Greenham Common. Playwright April De Angelis captures the generation-gap with broad comic strokes but there’s heart and humour in Nina Raine’s zappy production. LK

National Theatre, Olivier South Bank, SE1 9PX. Nov 7-Jan 8. Free dazzle-exhibitions.com Waterloo

Royal Court Theatre SW1W 8AS. Until Nov 19. £12-28 royalcourttheatre.com Sloane Square

TEZ ILYAS Tell us a little about your show? I stand up on stage and tell people things; some of these things are racist and obnoxious. It’s unnerving what one can get away with if one cloaks messages under a thin veil of irony.

Photos: Keith Pattinson

In your comedy you like to play on people’s ignorance about Muslims – what’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told people? I once convinced a girl that I was a backing dancer for Michael Jackson on one of his world tours in the Nineties. That would have made me about 12 years old ... I’m also Amir Khan’s cousin.

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STARRING: Chris Langham, Simon Amstell TBC | 83mins

Max Roberts’s production about a real-life group of Northumberland miners who discovered unexpected creative skills at their adult classes in the 1930s is clever, informative and sympathetic. The group produced a host of impressive works of art, many of which are simply projected on stage in this performance. LK

In from the wilderness after being convicted of possessing child pornography, disgraced The Thick of It actor Langham resurrects his career with this existential comedy-drama. It tells the story of a run-of-the-mill family accused of murder after a stranger dies at their dinner table. On general release

Duchess WC2B 5LA. Until Jan 21. £20-£45 nationaltheatre.org.uk Covent Garden

Have you ever died on stage? The first time I compered a gig, I thought it would be easy, I was wrong. I ruined the atmosphere for the other comics. I was like a football manager running a bare footed training session on drawing pins. What’s the worst joke you’ve ever heard? What happened to the vampire who went out in the rain? He got wet. Appearing at The Tommyfield, SE11 4EZ. Nov 17. £5

thetommyfield.com Kennington

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Amber Heard at the London premiere of The Rum Diary 28

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Miss American Dream After starring opposite Johnny Depp in The Rum Diary, Amber Heard lacks nothing for blonde ambition WORDS TOM STURROCK Film lore is full of memorable entrances by female sexbombs. There’s Bo Derek cantering through the surf in 10 or Cameron Diaz stealing the show in The Mask with the help of an eye-popping red dress. Amber Heard’s arrival in The Rum Diary can be added to the list – her character, Chenault, emerges from the luminescent waters of San Juan, in Puerto Rico, a vision of unobtainable beauty – a mermaid at midnight – that leaves Johnny Depp’s character, boozy journalist Paul Kemp, slack-jawed and besotted. As glamorous as it might appear on-screen, though, Heard insists it was not so pleasant to film. “It was a very cold, very deep bay. The water is murky on a good day – I couldn’t even see my elbow. They told me they had a diver down there to ward off any creatures. Like one diver? What is he going to do if a shark comes?” Heard recalls. “Later, we were on the boat, standing on the edge, looking out over the bay – there were lights hitting the water and we could see the creatures swimming past the boat. When I could see them, I was mortified that I was swimming in there, pretty much naked. At the end of the day, it was probably worth it, but it was not fun.” On the flipside, Heard was in her element in the exquisitely filmed scenes where she and Depp drive along Puerto Rico’s immaculate coast. Looking every bit a matinee idol and flirting outrageously, she eggs him on to drive their borrowed classic car, a cherry-red convertible, ever faster. It was, Heard says, a good day at the office. “I’m in the car with Johnny Depp in this ‘58 Corvette, driving up the coast of Puerto Rico on this beautiful summer’s day, driving ourselves, and I thought, no matter how this turns out, this is great. I like this scene. “They did not let me anywhere near the steering wheel of that car. It’s probably a good thing. I would have done significant damage.” Inseparable from the story told in The Rum Diary is the story of its author, legendary journalist and hell-raiser Hunter S Thompson, who wrote the novel when he was just 23 but failed to find a publisher. Thompson went on to forge a career as a kind of unhinged, inebriated, shotgunwielding version of Michael Moore – 20 years before anyone had heard of Michael Moore – and, all the while, his tale of a jaded journalist trying to reconnect with the world, via the bars and backstreets of San Juan, sat moldering in

his basement. Until, of course, Johnny Depp, by then close friends with Thompson, discovered the novel and resolved to bring it to the big screen. Such was Depp’s commitment to the project, perhaps heightened following Thompson’s suicide in 2005, that Bruce Robinson, who made his name by directing British cult classic Withnail And I, felt he had little choice but to sign on, adapting the screenplay and then calling the shots on set. “It was basically Johnny – I don’t think I’d have done it under any other circumstances,” Robinson explains. “When you’ve got a guy of his talent and his stature nagging you down the line – his confidence in me was very reassuring – it’s his funeral. I finally said, ‘Oh bollocks, I’ll have a go’.” And, as the man tasked with taking Thompson’s splenetic prose and adapting it into a film, Robinson is adamant that Heard’s role, skinny-dipping and joyrides aside, transcends mere decoration. Ostensibly, her character is Depp’s leading lady – one third of a love-triangle that pans out like The Great Gatsby in reverse – but there is a subversive edge to it. Chenault is, without getting lost in abstractions, a cypher for a kind of air-brushed, aspirational perfection. ››

Heard with Johnny Depp and their cherry-red Corvette convertible TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Heard is Depp’s leading lady and (below) the pair are joined by Bruce Robinson at the premiere

“She’s a shorthand – the thing that obsessed Hunter all his life was this notion of the American dream. All his work obsesses on that concept,” Robinson explains. “She’s the dream girl – that’s why she got cast – she’s like every boy’s fantasy, that lady. But the dream can be quite cruel and those who run the dream are ruthless people. That’s what I was trying to say, and so was Hunter S Thompson.” Heard is a fan of the original book, and of Thompson’s work in general, so the allusion is not lost on her; nor is the requirement for a rarefied kind of physical beauty – hers, as it happens – to dramatise it. “She, on the surface, epitomises not only the American dream but the people who own it,” Heard says. “I liked that she looks likes an archetype of a leading lady – this 1950s housewife in the making and an iconic symbol of a woman at that time – a commodity that wealthy men strive to obtain. “She represents all that, superficially, on the surface, yet is not that underneath. She’s flawed and vulnerable and fiercely independent and rebellious. She’s the kind of girl who will sneak out of a party to go skinny-dipping by herself in the ocean. I kind of like that about her. She’s a rebel. I like that she’s not what she looks like.” It is hard to conceive a neater segue into a discussion of Heard’s career. Undoubtedly, her roles to date, in a variety

They didn’t let me drive. It’s a good thing

Heard has a bad-girl streak and (below) Depp persuaded Robinson to direct

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Photos: Getty

of action movies and horror flicks, have traded on her appearance, her wholesome, Texan good looks shot through with a streak of bad-girl lasciviousness. “I am aware that the way I look puts me in a certain category,” she concedes, with a level of understatement that does nothing to detract from her frustration with an apparent ‘blonde ceiling’. According to Heard, being sexy gets your foot in the door, and then it gets you typecast. “We categorise women in one of two ways and if you’re seen as beautiful or sexy then your only options in terms of character descriptions are beautiful and sexy. That affords you a certain amount of opportunity but that opportunity leads to a spark and never a flame,” she says. “The other category – there’s a lot in there – you can be seen as witty, intelligent, independent, you can be seen as a bitch, as vulnerable, as smart or as funny. People might take you seriously, but you cannot be beautiful or sexy. If people see you that way, then you are out of that category. It’s incredibly limiting.” Heard, like Chenault, is determined to break the mold, to prove she’s more than the sum of her appearance – as undeniably appealing as it may be. ”I want to create characters for as long as I can and tell stories for as long as I can,” she says. “But unfortunately, I’m not given those opportunities because I’m often boxed into the first category, but I’ll continue to try to blend the two as best I can. I’ll try.” ❚

» Read our review of The Rum Diary on page 26 30


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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

DANCING IN HEELS The negative effects on the body of wearing high heels are well documented. They shorten your calves, ruin your posture, blah blah blah. But there’s little experts can say to stop a woman’s will to stride into clubs and restaurants looking slinky-legged and skinny-calved thanks to a killer pair of stilettos. How nice, then, to join a gym class that embraces the humble heel and a woman’s desire to dance in them with the composure of a Russian ice skater and the sultriness of a Hollywood siren. It seems weird at first, entering a gym studio in four-inch heels (if you’re not that confident, you can dance with trainers or bare feet), but instructor Jarrelle cranks up Big Spender, we get stuck into some moves and any awkwardness dissipates. We go over the routine until they’re ingrained, having a giggle. There are shakes of the hand, a 180-degree turn, foxy strides, quick shuffles, body rolls and clicking of the fingers. “Stride to the bar like you want that man,” Jarrelle urges as we wade our arms through the (imaginary) crowd. It’s the most empowering hour I’ve ever spend in a gym. £15 RK

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State of mind Late all the time? Going under a spell could be the secret to punctuality. Our writer finds out WORDS REBECCA KENT

I’m often told I would be late for my own funeral. I keep friends waiting, I’ve been late for job interviews and I’ve turned up to events just as they’re finishing. Close pals think my chronic lateness is endearing, bless ‘em. But I’m done with being labelled. Plus, I want to prove my mourners wrong. So, in desperation, and for punctuality’s sake, I turn to cognitive hypnotherapy. I just hope I can get to the appointment on time!

Staying mindful I’m pinning my hopes on Sarah Jons, of London Hypnotherapy. She first calms my misapprehensions about swinging pocket watches and hapless audience members being put on stage to cluck like chickens. Hers is a therapy carried out while the patient is in a natural hypnotic trance, similar to being absorbed in a book. “Clients use their mind to solve their own problems,” she says. “My role is to facilitate the process using techniques from many different therapeutic approaches.”

Jons’s clients range from the obese looking for a last-ditch attempt to lose weight before gastric banding, to women who constantly date the wrong men.

‘I’m feeling sleeeeepy’ Sitting on a couch, I offer Jons a typical scenario featuring my tardiness. If it takes one hour to reach somewhere, I think 30 minutes is fine. In that time, I’m tearing my place upside down getting ready. Then, due to whatever quirk, I find clothes to launder or a bench to tidy. Jons concludes there are multiple personalities at work here: the arrogant Rebecca; the anal one; and the disorderly me. I slip into a reclining chair and she asks me to visualise I’m in a conference room, inviting each of these personalities in, one by one. She beseeches them to help me in my endeavour never to be late again and I relay their answers. They are resistant at first, but, eventually, each of these stubborn little figments of my imagination concedes.

Stars Gym, Unit 5, , 8 Hester Road, SW11 4AX starsgymclub Battersea Park

In a trance: you won’t wake up clucking 34

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Tick-tock: friends may never have to wait again


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Rush rush: making an engagement is always a disorderly ordeal “Our brains rely on patterns and familiarity,” Jons explains. “Imagine our memories are a string of pearls. We’ve got to remove a pearl to break a negative strand.” On that principle, I recall a memory of my frenzied mother rushing about the house, late for church on a Sunday morning. The stress and pangs of guilt I felt in my godfearing childhood are comparable to what I feel when my adult self is late. Jons asks

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me to twist an imaginary knob on my body to release the pain. I also figuratively clasp the childhood memory with both my hands and draw it away from my face, further and further, until it’s detached from my memory bank. After roughly an hour, I am gently coaxed back into my present state.

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On time, every time? It takes at least 21 days to break a habit and I’m not quite there yet. In the meantime, I listen to a recording each night. Jons’s voice is soothing. “Time no longer controls you,” she chants. “You control time.” As I drift off, I feel the lifelong demons of my bad habit NEXT WEEK begin to shrivel away. Better late than never, The best in Xmas shopping I suppose.

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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MONTHLY SPOTLIGHT on working abroad

Big towers of Beijing: China capital is a city of contrasts

Orient experience China is a country brimming with culture and opportunity WORDS REBECCA KENT

China is not only one of the biggest countries in the world, but also one of the biggest economies. As more multinational companies set their sights on this fascinating Eastern powerhouse, the more opportunities there are for the ambitious and the intrigued alike to work there. But first, you’ll need to learn a few cultural tips about the People’s Republic.

The best of everything Foreigners working in China will almost certainly end up in either Shanghai or Beijing. The former is undeniably Western, with its soaring monuments to capitalism and European cityscapes. Beijing, on the other hand, offers a greater cultural experience. It’s a city of contrast, says Hannah Douglas, of the 36

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British Council in Beijing. “At one turn you can be completely overwhelmed by six-lane traffic and shoebox-type construction,” she says. ”Then down a side street you’ll find old men in pyjamas sitting on small stools, drinking beer and holding a Pekingese dog under their arm.”

Vocation, vocation Despite the differences, both these heaving metropolises demand foreign workers with the right mix of technical experience, soft skills and bilingualism, particularly in the areas of IT, finance manufacturing, sustainability, marketing and law. The Chinese relish Westerners in their offices, explains Laura Joyce, of CRCC Asia (crccasia.com), which

organises internship programs to China. “They love to see what our interns are taught at uni,” Joyce says. “They want to know what their skills are and how their European counterparts work.” In the wake of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, foreigners headed to China in droves, creating a competitive jobs market. As such, an ability to speak Mandarin and other languages will get you to the top of the employment pile. Look for work through the chamber of commerce (cccb.org.uk) British Council (britishcouncil.org), or expat newspapers (shanghaidaily.com). International recruitment companies (jobs.hudson.com) can also connect you with employers. If you do land a job, be prepared to deal with tasks outside your vocational realm.


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ON THE JOB DAVID MALLETT CAREER Lawyer, Paul Hastings (Europe) LLP AGE 26 LIVES East London FROM Adelaide How did you get into your line of work? I studied law at university, then after various legal work experience placements, I qualified in September last year and have been working within the tax department since.

Make friends: learn the local ways “Keep an open mind and learn their work patterns; join them when they go to karaoke in their lunchbreak, hang out at shopping malls, eat dinner at 5.30pm like they do, make an effort to have a few Chinese friends and go to the places they do,” Douglas says. “It’ll be worth your while.”

Work and travel

Shanghai dreaming: get among the crowds

SALARY Teaching jobs can pay £800-£1500 per month; lowerskilled jobs in the main cities pay £10-£40 per hour; in a middle management job you can earn £2500 per month; and much higherlevel roles earn upwards of £3000. RENT A three-bedroom apartment on the Shanghai outskirts can set you back £500 per month; in the CBD, you can pay about £20,000. In Beijing, rents are about £460 a month for a two bedroom apartment near the city. WHERE TO LIVE In Shanghai new housing is in Pu Dong, east of the Huang Pu River. In Beijing, Chaoyang is popular with expats.

Decide if want to go to China to move forward in your career, or simply to travel and earn on the side. If this is the case, easy money comes with teaching English or freelance editing, and you can also get by doing voiceovers or modelling.

Photos: Getty

Out in the country Want to get out of the big cities? Take an English teaching job. Londoner Lucy Proctor, 29, taught for a year at a university in the Shaanxi province. It ranks among the most memorable experiences of her life. “It was a massive culture shock. First you have the problem that you can’t read anything, including menus, so

I gave up the idea of being a vegetarian, and no one speaks English, so we had to learn Mandarin,” Proctor says. “And there’s no privacy. If you sat on a train reading a book, it would be perfectly acceptable for a person to take the book out of your hand and look at it.”

What do you do day-to-day? Generally it’s admin, phone conferences and meetings, but there is often an unusual assignment thrown in, such as organising a probono or diversity event or running a career advice and CV-building workshop with a group of final year school students. What’s the best part of your job? Always having a new challenge to consider. Despite the preconception surrounding tax, it’s quite interesting. What’s the most challenging part? Keeping on top of changes in the law. The UK tax legislation is not the most paper-friendly, and, as a result, you can’t always see my desk.

The essentials

Networking is an important ability, Joyce says. An oft-used word in the Chinese vernacular is ‘guanxi’, which means relationship. “A lot of your success will come down to not what you know, but who you know,” she says. ”You will learn things like not to take someone’s business card and shove it in your back pocket. It’s extremely offensive. You’re supposed to turn it over and view it carefully. “Also, the Chinese are not very NEXT WEEK forthcoming, so if you’d like Working in the Xmas industry a job, you’ll need to ask.”

HOW TO... MAKE IT A SHORT PHONE CALL When you’re busy at work, the last thing you want is to chat with a stranger about the weather and their kids. Here’s how to keep a phone call brief:

• Ditch the niceties. If the caller asks ‘how are you’ answer politely, followed by ‘how can I help you?’.

• If you’re busy, tell the caller.

That way, they should get the message to cut to the chase.

• Be firm and cut them off if you need to. With any luck, they’ll remember for next time, too.

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37


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CASH SAVING TIPS

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

Find yourself searching Xxxxxxxxx for money in the couch cushions? Take our XXXXXXXXX money-saving advice: Xxxxxxxxxxx SWAP SHOW TICKETS XXXXXXXXX If you have unwanted Xxxxxxxxxxx tickets to a gig or event, or if you’re looking for XXXXXXXXX one and want to avoid Xxxxxxxxxxx unscrupulous touts, visit seatwave.com which buys XXXXXXXXX and sells fans’ tickets Xxxxxxxxxxx for decent prices. It’s especially good for sold-out shows. USE THE LASER Gone are the days when you need to flit between shops for a better deal, now you can download the RedLaser app to your iPhone (£1.19). When you scan a barcode, it searches online to bring up better prices for the same item.

look at gig guides, and try to avoid going to the pub every other night. Last big blow-out? When a friend came to London for a few nights I booked what I thought was a basic hotel room, but it was actually an apartment that we nicknamed the penthouse. Whoops! JOB Data Entry FROM Melbourne LIVES Clapham South

monthly pay and put it in a separate account. I’m bound to find useless things to spend it on otherwise.

How do you budget? I deduct my essentials – rent, bills and travel – from my

Any money-saving tips? Hmm. Don’t go into clothes shops, or online shops. Don’t

SARAH TORCASIO, 23

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Go all out for an artefact Nic Cage is now the proud owner of a £172,500 dinosaur skull, the spoils of a bidding war with actor, Leo DiCaprio. Others willingly shell out for a piece of history, too.

Photos: Getty

RACK UP REWARDS By making a restaurant booking and reviewing your meal through the free Toptable app, you can earn points to redeem for meals, food-related gifts and foodie experiences at venues across the UK. The app also includes a tip calculator. HIP KARAOKE /08 HIDDEN JAPAN /72

What non-essential items do you spend money on? I could say gigs, but to me they are essential. Are you telling me you wouldn’t pay to see Laura Marling on her cathedral tour?

❚ Russian businessman, Evgeny Yurchenko, bought the world’s first ever space ship, the Soviet Vostok 3KA2, for £1.8m at a US auction this year, returning it to its original home.

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❚ An anonymous bidder bought the key to the binocular store on the illfated Titanic for £90,000 last year. The key was never on board, as an officer forgot to hand it over, so the captain relied on his naked eye. ❚ John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics for Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (complete with his doodles) was bought for £145,644 in the US this year, by an unknown fan.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Plant engineers required for NW London plant hire company Location: North West London Salary: TBC Experienced/qualified, min 3-5 years Must have knowledge of hydraulics, electrics, mechanics and able to carry out basic welding tasks. Good rates of pay for best candiates, working hours negotiable Call Gary on 07834 658585

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

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£6.

Does your life feel out of control? Tried therapy, Prozac and self-help seminars only to find you come home to the same miserable four walls? As they say, a tidy room reflects a tidy mind, and that’s where feng shui comes in. “It can completely transform a person,” insists home consultant Davina MacKail, the author of Feng Shui For Health. “If you make the change in your external environment, it’ll have a corresponding shift in your internal world.” Scores of celebrities – Richard Branson, Paula Abdul – live by the ancient Chinese practice, so we thought we’d find out about how to feng shui our homes.

Yes, playing cards count as clutter, which is bad feng shui Bedroom Snooze time is precious, so make the most of your slumber by having as few distractions in your room as possible. “Ideally, a bedroom would just have a bed,” MacKail says. Make sure mirrors aren’t facing your bed – they’re said to energise the space, and so energise you, which isn’t great when you want some R&R. But you might want to turn that idea on its head and step up your mirror policy for parties. Wooden bedframes and headboards are the best for creating a good sleeping space according to Priya Sher, feng shui expert at the Hale Clinic, near Great Portland Street.

Hallway Owl hand warmer For those chilly autumn afternoons grahamandgreen.co.uk

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Aztec hip flask A cultural way to cart around drink urbanoutfitters.co.uk

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Keep the hallway light and open, so the pathway is obvious, says former Feng Shui Society chairman, Jon Sandifer. “It needs to reveal to the visitor where they are and where to go next.” If your door is opposite a blank wall, put down a rug or carpet to guide visitors in the right direction or add a mirror to the corner, but not directly opposite the door, as positive energy will flow straight back out – correct energy flow is a basic feng shui principle. Clutter is the main enemy in this practice, especially in the hallway. “When you walk into your house you want to feel welcomed home. You don’t want to open the door and see lots of shoes, books, clutter and junk mail. Put it all in a cupboard,” MacKail says.

Keep things minimal in the bedroom “Wooden-framed beds are great because they do not conduct electromagnetic stress, so are good for health,” says Sher. “And wood represents stability and longevity in relationships.” What you keep under the bed is


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WHAT TO AVOID You don’t want to mess up your luck because you’ve got your telly in the wrong room. Learn what to avoid, then good things will come. Front and back doors shouldn’t be opposite each other, unless you want money problems. Don’t get a house on a hill, because having a sloping garden will also ruin your moolah situation.

Plants can combat negative energy important too. Keep only clean clothes and bedlinen under there because what you sleep on can affect your mood. Banish bad feeling from crazy exes by getting a new mattress and definitely buy new sheets.

Living Room

UP YOUR SEX LIFE Open windows and curtains daily to let sunlight charge your bed with positive energy. Avoid nookie on solstices and equinoxes to maintain your sexual appetite. A bedroom needs warm colours and soft furnishings for good sex. Get as much red in your room as possible. Replace any single items in your boudoir with two or you’ll be doing it alone.

Photos: Thinkstock

Living rooms are gathering spaces, so having a focal point is important. “You want to make sure sofas and chairs don’t block the energetic flow but you want a focal point like a fireplace or coffee table,” MacKail says. But we all know the most important function of a living room is social, so your furniture needs to be arranged so you and your guests are facing each other and you can chat freely without obstructions. For those who want a bit more dollar, Sher says putting a soft-leaved green plant in the corner of your living room, diagonally opposite the door, will attract money. We’re still sceptical, but it’s got to be worth a try. And we promise to share if we get rich.

Kitchen Sher suggests having the cooker and sink opposite each other in a kitchen can “aggravate relationships”. This is because

fire and water combat each other. MacKail also warns against having your back to your door when cooking. But you can’t exactly rip out your kitchen (unless you really hate your landlord), so put up a mirror so you can see who’s coming into the kitchen behind you. Negative energy is also said to be displaced with a plant or pot of herbs. Colours also give you feng shui points – avoid blues and blacks, which apparently cause relationship problems. Go for light greens instead.

Bathroom Leaky taps are annoying. But they also bring bad feng shui. “If there are leaks, you’re draining energy out of your home,” MacKail says. So keep some green plants in the bathroom to make sure you don’t lose any energy or, more tangibly, money. Sticking a big mirror in the bathroom – where you start your day – is said to help you NEXT WEEK live with a clear, bright vision. Now Living in Haggerston repeat: “I am in control.”

Avoid electrical items in the bedroom because this depletes your energy levels. Clutter is a massive feng shui faux pas. It stagnates the energy in your home, which also saps your energy. Be careful where you put clocks in your home – having one at the entrance is a reminder of the passage of time and can make your guests feel unwelcome and rushed. Objects that carry bad memories create a negative atmosphere in your home. Get rid of your ex’s stuff sharpish. A messy, disorganised home office in your bedroom is forbidden. Even an organised one is frowned upon. Sharp corners that cut into open space are aren’t good – keep things smooth to avoid bad feng shui. Trees in front of the door to your home block good energy from getting inside. Mirrors facing a bed can block sexual energy, drain personal energy and make you feel like you’re being watched.

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WORLDVIEW

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‘Careful – it’s a Damien Hirst’

CLEAN SLATE LEAVES MUSEUM FILTHY GERMANY

Officials at Dortmund’s Ostwall Museum were left red-faced after a valuable sculpture was ruined by an over-zealous cleaner, who mistook part of the work of art for a stain. The cleaner went to work on the Martin Kippenberger installation, entitled When It Starts Dripping From the Ceiling, which was valued by insurers at £686,000. The artist had created a tower of slats, under which a rubber trough was placed with a thin beige layer of paint representing dried rain water. Taking it for an actual stain, the cleaner scrubbed the surface until it gleamed. “It is now impossible to return it to its original state,” a museum spokeswoman said of the scuplture. TWEETS OF THE WEEK @jimmycarr Russia plans a series of Disney style theme parks to liven up it’s dull image for tourists. Great, 2 tickets for BeetrootWorld please. @jimmyfallon A judge just sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail. Or as Kim Kardashian put it, “30 days?? That’s, like, four marriages!” @justinbieber so Im going to ignore the rumors...and focus on what is real. an opportunity to help by doing what i love. Judge me on the music! Love yall!

FACE DISCOVERED IN MAN’S BALLS CANADA

People identify ‘faces’ in bizarre places – there’s the man in the moon and Jesus in cheese on toast – but now one has shown up in an ultrasound of a man’s testicle. 42

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Don’t drop the soap: No – it’s not the world’s biggest jacuzzi. Bathers in China’s Chongqing set a new world record when 14,345 of them piled into a hot spring together. Imagine how much hair would have been left to clog up the drain after they pulled out the plug

Naji Touma and Gregory Roberts, of Ontario, were examining an unusual mass in the testicle of a 45-year-old patient, only to uncover a strangely human face. “A brief debate ensued on whether the image could have been a sign from a deity (perhaps ‘Min,’ the Egyptian god of male virility),” they wrote in a medical journal. “However, the consensus deemed it a mere coincidental occurrence rather than a divine proclamation.”

EASY RIDERS NICK MOBILITY SCOOTER UNITED KINGDOM Joyriders who pinched a Kent pensioner’s mobility scooter didn’t get far – travelling just

500m before the scooter, with a top speed of 4mph, ran out of power. Len Cook, 76, left the scooter outside his house and was not impressed to find it had been taken for a jaunt. “I think the people who took it are low-life because they don’t think about what the consequences are,” he said. Cook was worried that his scooter would have been driven far away and sold off. Luckily, though, the scooter turned up not far from his house. “It was difficult to believe when I was told it had showed up – I thought how wonderful it was,” he said.


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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 14

Nights Teri Wessinger slept at San Francisco airpoirt after being unable to pay the check-in fee for her second bag

If this doesn’t win her back, what will?

NO DRESS CODE FOR WINGS OF LOVE RUSSIA A jilted taxi driver led police on a merry dance after smashing into 17 cars while driving drunk – and naked. Moscow police became aware of Vitaly Grodi’s erratic driving after he ignored a road sign and refused to stop. The driver was finally caught by officers who were shocked to find him in nothing but his birthday suit when he emerged. The bizarre incident was captured on camera and the footage shows that Grodi wasn’t even wearing any shoes. Grodi reportedly told police: “I flew on the wings of love. On the eve of our anniversary, she said she was not ready for a serious relationship.”

CATAPULTS SEIZED IN DRUGS RAID

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

MEXICO Enterprising drug smugglers will have to come up with a new plan after Mexican soldiers confiscated catapults used to fire shipments of marijuana across the border into the US. An anonymous tip-off led troops to a house in the border city of Agua Prieta where they found a catapult in the bed of a pick-up truck and another inside the house. Reports say soldiers also seized 1.3 tons of marijuana during the raid last week, across the border from Douglas, Arizona. Mexican troops also seized two catapults in the area last January. Authorities said then that it was the first time they had seen this smuggling method used by local traffickers.

Age of Nick Martinez, a Florida schoolboy suspended, under the school’s zero-tolerance policy, for hugging

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Value, in pounds, of sandwiches stolen by US man Sean Faulkner while drunk, before making his getaway on a forklift

Pounds won in a lottery by a Canadian sportscaster, employed by the same network that televises it. His colleagues weren’t happy

Kensington Palace: a hotbed of innuendo

WHO WAS THIS CHAMPION FUCKER? UNITED KINGDOM An expensive restoration project at Kensington Palace has uncovered a piece of 109-year-old graffiti, scrawled by a tradesman spruiking his sexual prowess. Work at the palace uncovered the graffiti, written neatly on a wooden pillar next to the front door, reading “Peter Jackson, The Champion Fucker” and dated February 1, 1902. “He must have thought he was perfectly safe, that nobody in the world would ever lay eyes on it again,” royal buildings curator Lee Prosser said. “Sadly, we don’t know very much about Peter Jackson, but evidently he, like many others throughout history, could not resist the temptation to leave his mark on a royal palace.” If that’s written in the palace foyer, imagine what’s on the back of the doors in the mensroom.

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1.3M

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I think they booked me as a joke. Then a big Cockney bloke helping me lug my bags said, ‘You doing that one with the three legs, Rolf?’ Rolf Harris admits that he thought he had been booked to play Glastonbury as a wind-up


tntjobs.co.uk KELLY SERVICES UK LTD T: 020 3040 1900 www.kellyservices.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sales Executive Location: Liverpool Street Shoreditch Salary: £7.00ph + UNCAPPED BONUS

This is an excellent opportunity for experienced sales call centre candidates to join an International, respected and expanding company in central London.

The successful candidate will be responsible for: Outbound sales - Inbound customer service - Resolving Issues - All associated administration. The ideal candidate will have: Previous Customer Service and Sales Experience - Good telephone manner - Flexibility to working shifts. If you believe you meet the criteria above please get in touch immediately. Gemma Eggleton | 0203 040 1907 | londoncity@kellyservices.co.uk

OLIVE PROPERTY GROUP

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sales and Leasing Negotiators Location: Dubai, UAE Salary: US $ 100,000 + On Target Earnings

T: +971 4 447 3884 www.olivepropertygroup.com We are an Australian Company with unrivalled success in the UAE property market and seeking our next intake of recruits to join us in our success.

As a Sales and/or Leasing Negotiator, you must be able to work leads and close deals on a daily and monthly basis. You will be expected to be a top performer and excel in your chosen area within Dubai. We work hard, we play hard and we love what we do.

LOLA EVENTS

JOB OF THE WEEK: Hospitality and Promotional staff Location: London Salary: £6.25 to £25 per hour

T: 020 7043 0652 www.lolaevents.co.uk

David McCormack | +971 50 114 1095 | david@olivepropertygroup.com

LOLA Events is a UK wide events and hospitality staffing agency. We provide staff for a wide range of unique parties, product launches and conferences.

LOLA is looking for amazing personalities to work at the coolest venues in London during our busy Christmas season. We are hiring waiting and bar staff, hosts and hostesses and promotional models.

RE-MOVE

JOB OF THE WEEK: Domestic & Commercial Move Coordinator Location: London Salary: £20-£30k

T: 0800 564 2210 www.re-move.co.uk Based in London and Brighton, Re-Move is dedicated to offering it’s private and commercial clients a high-end relocation service and its staff the opportunity to be part of an amazing team and an integral part of the company moving forward.

PANACEA I.T. T: 01737 244 500 www.panaceait.com We are an established provider of I.T. and AV products & solutions to the Education sector at large.

If Interested please register on www.lolaevents.co.uk

We are looking for someone who is keen to work hard within a team for which he / she will be responsible and to help us drive the business forward and take the company to the next level. Looking to earn good money so you can go travelling? Why not get out and see parts of the country you might not otherwise see whilst working hard and having fun. This is a fantastic opportunity not to be missed. Call Patrick or Olly on 0800 564 2210 or email info@re-move.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sales-Business Development Manager Location: Reigate, Surrey Salary: OTE £50k Role is primarily office based and entails developing/maintaining accounts in a pro-active manner. Working knowledge in I.T. / audio visual is preferable. Must be Self motivated with excellent telephone manner. Position offers competitive basic salary with an uncapped commission structure and team bonus after trial period. Email CV to Richard@panaceait.com

AGINCARE T: 01258 489480 www.agincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live In Carer Location: Nationwide Salary: Dependant on complexity of care

Agincare has grown to become one of the largest independent providers of Care across the UK , we offer exceptional career opportunities across a diverse range of services.

Special people required to care for clients in their own homes 24/7., working away for 2 weeks plus at a time, within UK, good pay rates. Experience welcomed but full training given. Drivers particularly welcome. PLEASE CALL 01258 489480 or email licsadmin@agincare.com

RSM1

JOB OF THE WEEK: Market Research Telephone Interviewer Location: London Bridge Salary: £6.10 - £11 per hour + bonuses

T: 020 7189 3681 www.rsm1.com Market research company based in London Bridge operating for 25 years conducting various types of research from telecommunications, medical financial and local government.

Telephone interviewers required of all nationalities and languages to conduct business and consumer surveys. Full and part time hours available along with nightshift work Hourly rate dependant on language spoken and time of working hours. No experience needed as full training given. To apply send CV to paul@rsm1.com or call 0207 189 3681


TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: FRANKIE MULLIN frankie.mullin@tntmagazine.com

You let us down Justin

Not a virgin? I never Beliebed you anyway, Justin!

Photos: Getty

Why don’t these ‘squeaky clean’ teens cut the chastity bullshit already

As far as creating a quasi-religious cult goes, the marketing execs behind Justin Bieber should be awarded full marks. The fanatical devotion of ‘Beliebers’ to their demi-God reached fever-pitch last week when allegations that the 16-year-old singer fathered a child became public. Mariah Yeater, 20, claims that Bieber lost his virginity with her in an inglorious 30-second toilet cubicle liaison at the Staples Centre, Los Angeles. He is denying the accusations. Tweets from Bieber’s 14 million Twitter followers ranged from those calling Yeater a liar to threats that “Beliebers will kill you”. The righteous indignation stems from Bieber’s squeaky-clean, chastity-swearing image being sullied. But this isn’t new territory: while Britney Spears’ spectacular fall from grace was probably the most dramatic we’ve witnessed, for years there’s been a steady flow of saccharine Disney stars causing their agents headaches as X-rated photos and stories reach the internet. So why, then, the persistence of the backward belief that teenagers should define themselves by whether they do or don’t have sex? If the incident did take place, it’s sad that the sex was unprotected, but it’s not tragic that a 16-year-old boy decided to see what the fuss is about. I hope his half-minute in the bogs was fun. Bieber has been conservative America’s wet dream: a devout Christian, celibate until marriage and a shining symbol of the masses’ obedient consumerism. The description fits many of his ilk who trade on their sex appeal while, apparently, abstaining. Except, of course, they don’t abstain. Teens look up to these record label-generated idols; they believe in them. So please, let’s talk about sex. Teenagers should not be told that virginity defines them; that once they can no longer wear a purity ring they should feel shame. Do you really want to see Bieber shaving his head in tears or staggering, drunk and miserable down the street? Don’t say yes. » Agree or disagree? Should showbiz teens speak frankly about sex? letters@tntmagazine.com

FASHION VS PASSION Did you see the Evening Standard’s fashion shoot at the Occupy St Paul’s protest? Taking inspiration from Vice magazine, which shot a fashion story during the London riots, the feature showed a journalist posing in the tent city, complete with bleached bob and peace-sign maxi-dress. The concept of ‘protest as fashion’ feeds into a stereotype that these movements are, essentially, for trendy students. But barring union-organised demonstrations in which workers fight for their jobs, mass mobilisation for political cause in the UK does tend to be dominated by the young.

Everyone is affected by global finances

Once you’ve got a family and a soulgrinding job, giving a toss about the global capitalist system does, indeed, seem like a frivolity. And more’s the pity, as it’s everyone who these issues affect, not just the young and beautiful. Occupy is, after all, about peaceful protest, not just peace-signs. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The men who own the news Take a peek inside the crazy world of the media mogul WORDS TOM STURROCK

It was confirmed last week that London’s Evening Standard and The Independent will merge their sports and business desks in order to reduce their wages bills. The development has prompted a fresh round of speculation about the future of the papers, which are both owned by Russian media mogul Alexander Lebedev (main image), whose foray into the British media began in 2009, when he bought the Evening Standard and promptly decided to give it away for free, rather than charge for it. Lebedev is the latest in a long line of powerful media barons, who are able to shape societies through their vast wealth, which is often matched by vaulting ambition and bizarre eccentricities.

Alexander Lebedev How much? He made billions in finance, having bought one of the few Russian banks that survived the country’s 1998 crisis. Since then, Lebedev (main image) has expanded into media – he owns part of Russian paper Novaya Gazeta, as well as The Independent and the Evening Standard in the UK. How crazy? Before he went into business, Lebedev worked for the KGB, hassling wealthy Soviets who were illegally moving funds out of the USSR. In September, he punched billionaire property developer Sergei Polonsky on a Russian TV show. Not a proprietor you want to mess with.

Silvio Berlusconi How much? The Italian PM doesn’t much care for the media’s political independence – he owns a controlling share in the country’s biggest broadcaster and has reneged on election promises to sell off his assets to avoid a conflict of interest. How crazy? The concentration of Berlusconi’s power has enabled him to survive a string of gaffes, including jokes about Nazis and an apparent willingness to defend Benito Mussolini. The 75-year-old’s current scandal, though, arising 46

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from his serial womanising, at so-called ‘bunga bunga’ parties could be the final nail in his coffin.

Kerry Packer How much? The holdings of his publishing company fluctuated over the years but, when Packer died in 2005, he owned a stable of Australian magazines, Channel Nine and a stake in Melbourne’s Crown Casino. Packer is also credited with pioneering and popularising 50-over cricket. How crazy? Packer’s gambling habit was legendary. He reportedly lost £18m during three weeks in London, once walking into a casino and playing £15m on four roulette tables on his own and losing it all. He also once challenged a Texas oil baron to bet £38m on a coin toss.

Alan Bond How much? In the 1980s, Bond was one of Australia’s most prominent businessman, with investments in media, brewing, gold-mining and aviation. However, in 1992, Bond was declared bankrupt with debts totalling £1.16bn – it was the biggest corporate meltdown in Australian history. How crazy? Bond bought Channel Nine from Kerry Packer in 1987 for more than £650m, only to sell it back to him five years later for about a quarter of the price. Of his audacious buyback, Packer said, “You only get one Alan Bond in your lifetime, and I’ve had mine.”

Conrad Black How much? The Canadian-born tycoon controlled Hollinger International, which was, at one point, the world’s thirdlargest newspaper conglomerate, owning hundreds of titles on both sides of the Atlantic, including The Daily Telegraph. In 2007, though, Black was convicted of fraud and sentenced to seven years’ jail. How crazy? In his pomp, Black was an obsessive collector of


Clockwise: British media has long been contested territory; Rupert Murdoch has outlasted many of his rivals; Silvio Berlusconi may finally be on his last legs

Napoleon memorabilia. Prison was different – early on, Black befriended a Mafia Don who told him, “No one will bother you. If you catch a cold, we’ll find out who you got it from.”

Rupert Murdoch How much? The ignominies of this year notwithstanding, Murdoch has survived, flourished, even, in an era when many of his rivals have foundered. His News Corporation owns newspapers in Australia, the UK and the US, as well as 20th Century Fox and publisher Harper Collins. How crazy? Murdoch is known for his ruthless approach in all aspects of his life. In 1999, 17 days after divorcing his wife of 32 years, Murdoch, then 68, married Wendy Deng, a 30-yearold VP of one of his networks. That’s ruthless, alright.

William Randolph Hearst How much? Hearst built a sprawling newspaper empire in the late 19th century and also pioneered ‘yellow journalism’, which consisted of sensational but dubious stories. Hearst was also prepared to use his papers to advance his political aspirations and, as a younger man, wanted to buy Mexico. How crazy? The 1941 film Citizen Kane was based in part of Hearst’s life. Hearst, in his 70s when the film was released, did everything he could to prevent the film’s release.

Photos: Getty

Lord Beaverbrook How much? Known as ‘the first baron of Fleet Street’, the man born Max Aitken was one of Britain’s most powerful men either side of the Second World War. After the war, he turned the Daily Express into the world’s best-selling paper, and was so rich he never paid himself a salary. How crazy? Beaverbrook, while still the country’s most powerful newspaper owner, was also the Minister of Information, responsible for Britain’s war-time propaganda, and was later in charge of fighter and bomber production.

TROUBLE AT HOME BROWN ATTACKS MURDOCH Rupert Murdoch may be one of Australia’s most successful exports but there is a renewed push to limit his influence over the country’s media, with tax breaks proposed for independent media. Senator Bob Brown (above), the leader of the Australian Greens, recently criticised Murdoch’s News Limited, which owns about 70 per cent of print media in Australia. “I urge the inquiry to consider what further legal mechanisms or policies could be implemented to ensure more media diversity and that in the future no media proprietor owns more than 70 per of the print media,” Brown wrote. “This oligarchy headlines opinion on front pages and brazenly campaigns to make or break governments. “If the elected representatives are not to rein in this debasing of the ideals of the fourth estate, who should or will?”

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

47


SPORTNEWS

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Heading home: Danny Buderus

BUDERUS ANSWERS CALL FROM KNIGHTS RUGBY LEAGUE Newcastle Knights legend Danny Buderus will rejoin the NRL club next season, following a three-year stint in Super League with Leeds. Buderus is revered alongside Andrew Johns and Paul Harragon as a giant of the Newcastle club, having captained the Knights and helped deliver a premiership in 2001. But Buderus is unconcerned by the prospect of his return tarnishing his legacy. “They’re the thoughts that go through your mind, for sure. You’re worried about all that sort of stuff,” Buderus said. “I want to come back and, looking at it the other way, it’s a plus and a privilege in this part of my career to be able to come back to my hometown club and play in front of these great supporters and on this ground that I’ve cherished.”

THORPE HAPPY TO FINISH FIRST RACE SWIMMING Ian Thorpe was relieved to have avoided embarrassment after making a decent fist of his return to competitive swimming at the FINA World Cup in Singapore last week. After overcoming some pre-race nerves, Thorpe, a five-time Olympic gold medallist, comfortably qualified for the final of the 100m individual medley in sixth-fastest in 56.74secs in the morning heats, before improving slightly on his time to finish seventh in Friday night’s final in 56.33. “It is for me probably more of an important milestone that I’m at my first competition I’ve started off here,” Thorpe said. “It hasn’t been too bad, I’m not embarrassed yet and I’m still smiling.” 48

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Done by the Irish again: Ireland derailed the Wallabies’ Rugby World Cup and now they’ve belted Australia in the hybrid International Rules series. After being thrashed in the first of the two games, Australia tried to intimidate Ireland physically in the second, but still went down by 21 points as the green machine proved too skillful

SEVENS COACH SAYS BIG WEEK FOR ... PAIRING HURT COOPER RUGBY UNION Australia’s rugby sevens coach has come to the defence of Quade Cooper, blaming the selection of Pat McCabe for the embattled Wallabies flyhalf’s underwhelming World Cup. Michael O’Connor, who first spotted Cooper as a little-known 13-year-old schoolboy, felt he paid the price for the left-field selection of Brumbies fullback McCabe at inside centre. “A backline is a sum of parts and it was a relatively inexperienced centre combination outside him,” O’Connor said. “Pat McCabe has played most of his footy as a fullback and we’ve put him in at inside centre.“

Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke faces the first big challenge of his time in charge when the Test series against South Africa begins this week. A series win in Sri Lanka earlier this year was encouraging, but Clarke needs a strong showing against the Proteas to lay the platform for home series against New Zealand and India, whereas a bad loss will leave him and his team under the hammer.


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QUOTES OF THE WEEK I have to kind of remind myself I am the guy that hasn’t raced for five years. I forget it from time to time Ian Thorpe tries to hose down expectations surrounding his return to competitive swimming. Good luck

Mitchell Johnson starred last time the sides met

PREVIEW Aussies face litmus test in Cape Town SOUTH AFRICA V AUSTRALIA

WEDNESDAY 8.30AM, SKY SPORTS 1 Given the history between these two sides, it’s puzzling that they’ve only been fixtured for two Tests. However, it should be enough to find out whether Australia have improved since their painful Ashes defeat. There have been some changes – Michael Clarke has taken over the captaincy from Ricky Ponting, Phil Hughes has replaced Simon Katich as opener, Shaun Marsh has taken Marcus North’s

spot in a reshuffled middle order and Nathan Lyon has become the latest spinner trialled at Test level. As far as the quicks go, there is every chance the trio of Mitchell Johnson, Ryan Harris and Peter Siddle, exposed so ruthlessly by England earlier this year, will be given the chance to redeem themselves against the Proteas. If these in and outs feel like halfmeasures, it is perhaps because Australia no longer has the depth of talent to justify sweeping changes. That said, careers are on the line in South Africa – if Australia are as abject as in the Ashes, the pendulum could swing decisively toward youth.

THE CHAT | Shane Warne returns to cricket

I don’t see why at 50 I can’t be in better shape than right now, and I think I’m going to be World surfing champion Kelly Slater insists that, even at age 39, he has no plans to walk away from the sport

I first met him when I was a little boy of around 12. Now, a quarter of a century later, I’m 36 and not quite so scared of him Manchester United great Paul Scholes pays tribute to Alex Ferguson, 25 years after the manager joined the club

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

TENNIS Warne is expected to be announced Q Shane as the Melbourne Stars’ marquee signing for Australia’s revamped T20 league. Is it a big deal? be a major coup for the new tournament, the A ItBigwould Bash, as it’s known, which has embraced the franchise set-up of the Indian Premier League. The prospect of watching Warne bowl again – and, according to his manager, Warne still believes he is one of the world’s best spinners – would persuade even the sceptics, of which there are many thousands, to tune in. He’s 42, but is probably fitter than he was at the peak of his powers. And really, the fact he played his last match for the Rajasthan Royals, in a far-flung corner of India, was never a fitting send-off. An extended MCG farewell beckons.

Paris Masters Can Andy Murray win another title? Every day 10am, Sky Sports 2

RUGBY LEAGUE England v New Zealand The Four Nations continues Saturday 5.30pm, Sky Sports 2

RUGBY LEAGUE Wales v Australia Shane Warne: he’s back

Could get very ugly for Wales Sunday 5.30pm, Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

Mervyn Westfield: due in court in January 2012

Unscrupulous cricketers in more than a spot of bother Jail for spot-fixing shows, once and for all, it’s intolerable

» Agree or disagree? Should the Pakistani spot-fixers have gone to jail? letters@tntmagazine.com 50

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MO THAN MEETS THE EYE AT RWC The French do enjoy a good revolt, don’t they? From the French revolution in the late 1700s to the French football team’s protest at South Africa 2010, when Gallic temperaments are pushed too far, the man at the top better be wary. It happened again, it transpires, at the Rugby World Cup, when the French team decided to ignore everything coach Marc Lievremont said after he publicly labelled them “spoiled brats” after losing to Tonga. “From that match on, I did not attach any importance to what Marc said,” No.8 Imanol Harinordoquy revealed last week.

The French do enjoy a good revolt

The plan almost worked, with the team one point away from being champions. But, in response, it appears Lievremont launched his own revolt. A style revolt. Perhaps finally fed up with his big mouth, he decided to punish it with the growth of a ridiculous fur caterpillar on his top lip. Unfortunately for all Frenchmen at the Cup, they were the losers in both situations.

Photos: Getty

You might not yet know who Mervyn Westfield is, but you can bet he’ll be sweating right now. In fact, you could probably find a bookmaker who’ll give you some odds and take your money on that. But you probably shouldn’t. You see, ex-Essex cricketer Westfield is due to face trial in January after being accused of letting opposing Durham players hit a certain number of runs off his bowling in 2009 – Mervyn was allegedly indulging in spot-fixing. The reason the fast bowler may have a bead or two of perspiration slipping down his furrowed brow is the three Pakistani players involved in the higher profile News Of The World spot-fixing scandal of 2010 all being jailed last week, for terms ranging from six to 30 months. It’s not looking good for Mervyn, if he’s found guilty. There are people out there who will cry foul at the sentences given to the Pakistanis. “It’s only a game,” they will protest. “A bit of spot-fixing doesn’t really affect the outcome.” But if the actions of Salman Butt et al were to affect only a game of cricket, then only cricket’s governing bodies would need get involved – to perhaps hand down a few life bans and be done with it. However, what the three Pakistanis and other spot-fixers set out to do is defraud legitimate businesses, and, potentially, members of the public. And that, whichever side of the spot-fixing fence you graze on, is a crime. Society detests fraud – though it remains to be seen if Mervyn, who denies the charges, is guilty. No matter what level a swindle is at, if caught, you can’t get away with it. Remember the MPs jailed for ripping off the taxpayer with fraudulent expenses claims? A spell behind bars soon showed some of them the error of their ways. Same goes for Butt. The strong punishments handed down to the former Pakistan captain and his cronies were obviously issued as a deterrent. Hopefully the courts have now helped cricket prevent any future stains as the sport seeks to regain its once lily white image.

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And the gloves come off Australia and South Africa have forged an epic rivalry since the Proteas emerged from exile WORDS TOM STURROCK

If Australia’s cricketing rivalries with England and India are rooted in the differences between the two countries, then its showdowns with South Africa – which escalate once more this week, a two-Test series beginning in Cape Town on Wednesday – testify to the countries’ similarities. Of course, there is a gulf between the nations’ histories but, when it comes to sporting make-up, there is more than a little shared DNA – encompassing a grim determination, taciturn manner and hard-edged competitiveness forged in long, hot afternoons out in the middle. Accordingly, both sets of supporters prize cussedness over flamboyance. Since South Africa were re-integrated in 1992, Australia has held the whip-hand, winning 18 of the 30 Tests between the two countries. This series, though, will begin with the hosts as warm favourites – they have lost just one series in the past five years, while Australia will be hoping to rebound from a painful Ashes defeat. Formlines are unlikely to mean much once the cricket starts, though; a cursory skim through the highlights reel revealing that encounters between these two sides often produce the unexpected.

Fanie routs Aussies: January 1994 During South Africa’s first post-apartheid tour Down Under, Shane Warne’s 12-wicket haul left the hosts poised to take a 1-0 lead, Australia chasing 117 for victory in the second Test at the SCG. But an inspired spell from Fanie de Villiers (main image) triggered an alarming collapse, Australia losing 9-60 to slump to defeat by five runs. Although Australia recovered to draw the series, De Villiers’s seminal performance crowned South Africa’s return to the world stage.

Advantage Australia: February 1997 The first two post-apartheid series between Australia and South Africa ended in closely fought draws, so, in 1997, there was everything to play for. In the first Test at the Wanderers, 52

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South Africa made 302 batting first and Australia stuttered to 4-174, before Steve Waugh and Greg Blewett combined for a 385-run stand, a record between the sides. Australia won the match by an innings and 196 runs, before wrapping up the series in Port Elizabeth. The advantage was seized and Australia would not relinquish it for more than 11 years.

Warne owns Cullinan: 1994-97 The mythic status of the game’s greatest spin bowler was built on his performances against England and South Africa and, in particular, on his mastery of poor old Darryl Cullinan, who had no idea how to face Warne’s bowling. During an otherwise successful career, Cullinan was dismissed four times by Warne in Tests and eight times in ODIs, the South African reduced to attending a sports psychologist to help overcome the demons of self-doubt conjured by Warne.

Proteas choke: June 1999 At the 1999 World Cup, Australia faced the Proteas in a mustwin Super Six match and, against all odds, Steve Waugh’s 120* got his side over the line. The two teams met again in a remarkable drawn semi-final. It came down to the last over – South Africa were nine down but some brilliant hitting from Lance Klusener brought them level before, inexplicably, Alan Donald ran himself out off the final ball. The split points put Australia through to the final, where they thrashed Pakistan.

One magical summer: 2001-02 The peak of Australia’s golden era came in the summer of 2001-02, when South Africa arrived with a spring in their step, before the Australian jackboot came down hard. Matthew Hayden dominated with the bat, while Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath ran riot with the ball, as Australia romped to a 3-0 series win. Then, on the return leg to South Africa, Australia set up another series win by humiliating


Clockwse: Shane Warne was South Africa’s chief tormentor; Makhaya Ntini after hitting the winning runs at the Wanderers; Australia celebrate tying the 1999 World Cup semi-final

the Proteas at the Wanderers in the first Test, prevailing by an innings and 360 runs on the back of a blistering doublecentury from Adam Gilchrist.

The famous chase: March 2006 When Australia, batting first in the deciding rubber of a fivematch ODI series in South Africa, finished 4-434 after their allotted overs, it seemed another feather in the cap for an all-conquering side. No team had ever passed 400 runs in an innings before. It was utterly unfathomable that South Africa could make a fist of the run-chase, but they did exactly that, overhauling Australia’s record total with one wicket and one ball to spare. Simply, the greatest ever ODI match.

Saffas break the spell: December 2008 The Proteas still needed to produce some remarkable batting performances to turn Australia over for the first time in nearly 40 years. First, in Perth, the Proteas chased 414 in the second innings to secure an unlikely win. Then, in Melbourne, an incredible 180-run, ninth-wicket stand between JP Duminy and Dale Steyn put South Africa on top – they then bowled Australia out cheaply and knocked off a modest target to clinch the series. It was the first time in 15 years that Australia had lost a Test series on home soil.

Photos: Getty

Johnson burns brightly, briefly: March 2009 Even in the series loss to South Africa, Mitchell Johnson came to play, claiming 8-61 in Perth – a record inningshaul between the sides. On the return leg to South Africa, though, Johnson was near unplayable, working over South Africa’s top order and even smashing an unbeaten century at Newlands. Given subsequent events, Australia’s win and Johnson’s performance seem aberrations. But, given the eventful history between the two sides, who would bet against a similar reversal this time around?

Ricky Ponting has scored heavily against South Africa

THE NUMBERS SINCE 1992 SOUTH AFRICA V AUSTRALIA Most runs R Ponting (Aus) J Kallis (SA) M Hayden (Aus) S Waugh (Aus) M Waugh (Aus) G Kirsten (SA)

R 2030 1581 1486 1147 1135 1134

Ave 56.38 39.52 43.70 49.86 42.03 34.36

W 130 58 57 53 50 47

Ave 24.16 34.74 27.33 31.07 31.07 37.74

Most wickets S Warne (Aus) M Ntini (SA) G McGrath (Aus) A Donald (SA) B Lee (Aus) J Kallis (SA)

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

THE BIRDS It’s a case of fight or flight for these racegoers as make their way home through piles the rubbish after attending Melbourne Cup Day at Flemington Racecourse.

Photos: Getty, Christian Spahrbier, Alan Robertson

INSIDE

GLASGOW GLAMOUR /58

NAUGHTY, BUT NICE /66

WHAT’S BIG IN JAPAN /72

Scotland’s second city? Not for much longer, thanks to Hollywood and an impressive cultural renaissance.

Hamburg’s reputation is built on the Red Light District and rock n’ roll. But the port city has a more sophisticated side, too.

On an odyssey to see all 47 prefectures in 100 days, we discover a little Britain, the joy of raw chicken and snow monsters. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

55


TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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The party is a culturally enriching event

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

THE STATUSCATION I’ve heard a few nauseating new names for travel trends this week – see ‘thrillaxing’ on P57. There’s also ‘apptouring’ and, perhaps worst of all, ‘statuscation’.

It’s not so much the actual wording of ‘statuscation’ that brings the bile to a bubble in my throat, but rather the concept itself. It’s the practice of constantly updating your Facebook status or Twitter account with every single detail of your holiday in real time – a blatant exercise in bragging about your fabulous trip in the hope that your friends will be (a) driven to distraction with jealousy, and (b) forced to concede that their lives are worse than worthless in comparison to yours. Of course, the fatal flaw in the ‘statuscation’ is that if you’re forever tapping away at your smartphone/ laptop, you’re unlikely to be having that good a time. I’m not moaning about people keeping in touch with their loved ones while they’re away. Of course it’s nice for those at home to receive the odd update or photo from across the world, especially as it’s so easy now. Once upon a time, backpacking youths could only reassure parents of their continued existence through a crackly phone call once every six months. But I’ve seen people on the trip of a lifetime updating their status at least once a day, sometimes more. Couldn’t all the effort lavished on seeking out an internet café, or standing in a huge line to use the one 350-year-old PC in the hostel, be better spent? Next time someone writes that they’re ‘in Peru, it’s amazing’, perhaps you should suggest they actually concentrate on having an amazing time in Peru.

Haad Rin Beach will play host to anything between 20,000 and 30,000 revellers, all intent on drinking themselves to the very edges of 10 oblivion with the aid of buckets of Thai moonshine. The all-night beach party is a must-do for travellers, but we’re going to be a bit of a mum and advise you watch out for the nasty types that tend to prey on tourists here nowadays. NOV

WHY: It all started in the Eighties, when Haad Rin Beach was a secret hippy hangout. The party began as a select gathering of 30odd travellers; word got around and today, it is possibly the world’s most famous party, with DJs playing until dawn and tourists puking until long after that.

RÄBECHILBI TURNIP FESTIVAL

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fullmoonparty-thailand.com

ENNIS TRAD FESTIVAL

Ennis, Ireland

Richterswil, Switzerland

It’s all about tradition, which means four days of Irish folk 10-14 music and dancing in County Clare. But far from just sitting and watching folk play flutes/ violins/ accordions, there are workshops so you can learn too. As well as hosting some of Irish music’s biggest stars, the event is an excuse to relax down the pub with a live soundtrack – every public house in Ennis will have a live band. NOV

Every year since 1905, the villagers of this small town 12 have celebrated the turnip. Marking the end of harvest, a parade featuring tonnes of painstakingly carved turnip lanterns brings it all to a roaring climax (hyperbole? never!). NOV

myswitzerland.com

SWANS AND LADDERS Mirano, Italy

A giant game of snakes and ladders – using huge swans 12-13 in place of the reptiles – is played out by teams wearing traditional dress. Resist the temptation to join in; this is a spectator sport. Mirano is just 30km from Venice. NOV

giocodelloca.it

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DO IT BECAUSE: Missing out on this is like missing out on Machu Picchu. It’s less of a cultural experience, obviously, but you need to do it just once to retain your right to backpack. Pop a South-East Asian Red Bull (read: rocket fuel) to make it to the end.

ennistradfestival.com

DART DRAMA

Dartmouth, UK

’Possibly the best noncompetitive drama festival 9-12 in the south-west’, according to the organisers. NOV

dartdramafestival.org.uk

Photos: Getty

Email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

FULL MOON PARTY Koh Pha Ngan, Thailand


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JUST ‘THRILLAX’

Photos: Thinkstock

Our new least-favourite Frankenphrase is “thrillaxing”. But the good news is that it’s good for you. According to research by iExplore, 75 per cent of people in the UK find an adventurous holiday – such as cycling, sailing or hiking abroad – helps them escape the stresses of everyday life. Conversely, holidays that are thought of as typically relaxing – such as lying on a beach – are far more stressful. Almost a third of beachgoers said they spent most of their time on the sunlounger worrying about how much money they were spending, while a quarter said they’d already start stressing about having to diet when they got home.

This is relaxing, apparently

TRAVELLING CIRCUS

LIFE AS A LANDLORD

If you’re the kind of person who can’t wait to get home from holiday just so you can be reunited with a beloved pooch/ kitten/ gerbil, you’ll welcome the news that the UK is adopting the EU’s more relaxed laws on taking your pet away. From January 2012, animals are required to receive a rabies jab 21 days prior to travel outside of the UK, as opposed to facing a distressing spell in quarantine. In light of the change, skipad.co.uk is now advertising apartments for ski groups avec pets. Though there’s no word on whether your fluffy companions can hit the slopes, too.

Melbourne topped the ‘world’s most liveable city’ list this year, which is why you might like to check out developer Central Equity’s ‘Melbourne Property Info Sessions’ on November 10-13 in London. The developer is inviting Aussie expats/ would-be investors to attend and learn how to buy, lease and manage a Melbourne property while living in the UK. Melbourne was named most liveable city after being assessed in terms of stability, healthcare, culture and environment, education and infrastructure. So if you’re going to invest, Melbourne just might be the right place. See australianproperty.com for more.

SCOOT ALONG Hurrah for yet another budget airline on the travel scene. Singapore Airlines has now launched Scoot, first focusing on flights to destinations five-10 hours from Singapore, and later expanding to cover India, Europe, and possibly even Africa and the Middle East. Scoot said its airfares would be up to 40 per cent less than its non-budget competitors. However, aviation experts reckon Scoot is likely to fall under ‘luxury budget’, as the longer flights will demand better amenities than many truly budget carriers offer. The first flights are scheduled for mid-2012, with tickets available early in the year.

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Glasgow’s riverfront, a hotspot for bars

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Glasgow

SCOTLAND

SCOTLAND EDINBURGH

Glasgow

N. IRELAND

GETTING THERE Virgin trains connect London and Glasgow in 4-5 hours. (virgintrains.co.uk). Advance tickets start from £26 each way.

The medieval cathedral

The West End’s Stravaigin has something for all budgets, from local eats (haggis, fish suppers, Perthshire pigeon), to Asian twists. Two courses are £11.95, three courses are £14.95. (stravaigin.com) For a taste of Glasgow, “curry capital of the UK”, dine on award-winning vegetable karahi and aloo saag dosa – rice lentil pancakes – at Mother India.Two- to three-course evening menus start at about £10. (motherindiaglasgow.co.uk) The basement bar of the Black Sparrow has a decent selection of draught beers and serves up a good roast. (theblacksparrow.co.uk) On the banks of the River Kelvin, The Big Blue‘s beer garden comes highly recommended for cocktails with a view. (bigbluerestaurant.co.uk) The Albion Hotel is a budget B&B in the West End residential area of Kelvingrove. Singles from £40pn, doubles from £50pn. (albionhotelglasgow.co.uk) Modern and relaxed, find the Radisson Blu Hotel on Argyll Street. Doubles from £125pn. (radissonblu.co.uk)

The city has a great live music scene 58

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UKTRIP

Glasgow glamour Scotland’s second city? Not for much longer, thanks to Hollywood and a cultural renaissance

Photos: Alan Robertson, Sarah Roberts/ kingtuts.co.uk

WORDS TAMARA THIESSEN

As I walk down the boisterous main pedestrian thoroughfare of Buchanan Street on a Saturday night, two guys wearing Borat-style mankinis pass by. From what I’ve observed of Glasgow’s near 600,000 residents so far, this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Filmmakers have flooded Glasgow of late, and I’m wondering whether the local supply of comical talent has something to do with it. Indeed, Scotland’s second city has become quite the Hollywood hotspot. In August it emerged as the set of Brad Pitt’s zombie film, World War Z. And in September, Halle Berry showed a most un-Glaswegian lack of fortitude as she kept herself warm with a hot water bottle during filming of Cloud Atlas, also starring Tom Hanks. But the recent influx of silver-screen talent is just the latest example of Glasgow’s cultural renaissance, which has seen the city blossom from its industrial roots into a perky hub of hip. Round-the-clock energy whirrs around what is actually the largest city in Scotland, home to classical and Victorian buildings, world-class museums, a thriving live music scene, and some seriously stylish nights out. Another character I meet on my travels is Laurence Sime. The eccentric Belgian, who has made Glasgow her home for 13 years, has fully assimilated, nicknaming herself a ‘Glasbelgian’. She thinks the city is finally on the verge of the recognition it deserves. “This is a really arty city and it’s rightly trying to up its profile,” she says. For an immediate immersion into the city’s impressive gallery and museum scene – Glasgow recently reported that it had recorded the most museum visits of any city in the UK outside of London – I visit Kelvingrove, a collection of 22 themed, state-of-the-art galleries. Music fans will rejoice at Rock On! AC/DC: Scotland’s Family Jewels, apparently the only exhibition to have ever had the band’s approval. Highlighting their strong connections with Glasgow, you can steep yourself in dirty riffs and even dirtier lyrics until February 2012. Another cultural treat is the £74m Riverside Museum, described as a “sophisticated shed” by its architect Zaha Hadid, who also designed the London Aquatics Centre for the 2012 Olympics. The zinc construction is inspired by the surrounding ship-building factories – it was Glasgow’s marine engineering industry that made it “the second city of the

British Empire” for much of the Victorian era. A wander around it makes for a fascinating trip back in time. If you get chance, also check out the fun (and free) Hunterian Museum on University Avenue, a collection comprising pickled organs and deformed animals, put together by anatomist and former student of Glasgow University, William Hunter (1718-83). In keeping with the “collection of dead things” theme, I duck into Uisge Beatha – Gaelic for whisky – on Woodlands Road for a drink. Church pews, stuffed animal heads and more than 100 whiskies greet me. Those looking for live

Check out a collection of pickled organs

music must head to King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut on St Vincent Street – bands play every night of the week, and rumour has it Oasis were signed after a gig here. Perhaps what strikes me most about Glasgow is how it wears so many different facades, from the bohemian bars and boutiques of the West End to the wrought-iron arcades and glass-gallery splendour of the city. Walking through the old trading district around Candleriggs and Albion streets, I pass cafes with cushy onpavement couches and myriad artwork, and crowded bistros embellished with art deco. The retail hive, which underpins Glasgow’s ‘Scotland with style’ campaign, exists in the streets between here and Buchanan Street. The mile-long pedestrian thoroughfare extends down to the bracing Clyde River waterfront precinct, a hotspot for bars and bikers. If you are seeking a breath of fresh air, the riverfront walkways here are an essential part of any visit. Check out the Clyde side and its canals – much like the NEXT WEEK rest of Glasgow, the canals are in full Newcastle: beyond regeneration, and are thoroughly Geordie Shore deserving of your time. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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LATEDEALS

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Seven nights in Malta is £299 with Travelbag

DEAL OF THE WEEK BARGAIN ALGARVE

£83

A seven-night trip to the Algarve is £83pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). The package includes three-star, self-catering accommodation and flights. Departs November 18.

< £250

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MALTA A seven-night trip to Malta is £299pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes four-star, all inclusive accommodation and flights. Departs November 30. EGYPT A nine-day tour of Egypt is £254pp (save £45) with GOBUS (020 74716400; thegobus.com). Visiting Cairo, Luxor and Aswan. Includes accommodation and guides. Excludes flights. Departs December 21. GAMBIA A seven-night trip to Gambia is £265pp with Cosmos (0844 5734261; cosmos.co.uk). Includes flights and seven nights’ B&B accommodation. Departs November 11. EGYPT A seven-night trip to Sharm El Sheikh is £350pp with easyJet Holidays (easyJet.com/holidays; 0843 1041000). Includes five-star, all-inclusive accommodation and flights. Departs January 23, 2012.

> £500 FRANCE A seven-day Ski France Chamonix tour is £699 (save £50) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation in central Chamonix – the famous high-mountain town by Mont Blanc – plus all meals, ski pass for 6.5 days, and ski equipment. Book by December 15; departs December 30. Excludes flights. VIETNAM An eight-night trip to Vietnam is £879pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes five-star, B&B accommodation and flights. Book by November 30 for travel between January 20 and March 31, 2012. ITALY An eight-day tour of Italy is £662 (save £117) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki.com). Includes Rome, Florence, Venice, Pisa and more. Includes accommodation. Excludes flights. Book by November 14; departs November 26.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

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£110 £360 £160 £390 £145 £95 £195 £310 £125 £125 £295 £295 £175 £140 £190 £155 £275 £275 £220 £220 £180 £110 £115 £195 £435 £170 £370 £299

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EGYPT A nine-day Essential Egypt tour is £185pp (save £124) with Travel Talk (020 80998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation, some meals, and guides. Visiting Cairo, Giza, Pyramids, Sakkara, Egyptian museum, Aswan, Edfu Temple and more. Book by November 15; departs November 12 and 19. Excludes flights. MOROCCO A three-night trip to Marrakech is £239pp (save £25) with Flight Centre (0844 8008628; flightcentre.co.uk). Includes three nights’, four-star accommodation and flights, based on two sharing. Book by November 15, quoting reference RAKLONPAC5. Valid for travel throughout March 2012. AMSTERDAM & BRUGES A three-day tour of Amsterdam and Bruges is £199pp with Anderson Tours (020 74369304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes two nights’ B&B accomodation, return travel by coach and ferry, and sightseeing. Departs November 11. TURKEY A nine-day Christmas and New Year tour of Turkey is £224pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours. com). Includes accommodation, some meals, and guides. Visiting Istanbul, Gallipoli, Troy, Pergamum, Ephesus, Pamukkale and Cappadocia. Book by December 15; departs December 25.

£250 – £500


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HOTSHOTS

LAILA PACHECO

Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Black & white As we can see from the two images on this page, black and white photographs can look very different. Opt for a dark image with lots of contrast where the blacks have no detail, like the candle picture below, or the lighter, softer approach. Like most elements of photography, light plays a huge part. Black and

white imagery is very forgiving, so bear in mind that if you under or overexpose a shot, because the light is not quite right, then it can be masked. Grain works better with black and white photos and gives them more texture, so don’t be afraid to push a little harder in low-light situations.

WINNER THIS IS MY BOSS’S SON, TAKEN IN THE PASSPORT OFFICE IN NANYANG, CHINA. Manzur Razzaq, London

WHY IT WORKS The simplicity of this image is what makes it stand out. There is a lot of negative space, but it creates a sense of calmness. The reflections of the boy and the machine bring two sections of the image together – creating a wonderful symmetry. I am drawn to the young boy, his curiosity getting the better of him as he tries to touch the machine.

RUNNER-UP LIGHT A CANDLE AND SAY A PRAYER Kata Kaplar, Hungary

RUNNER-UP

WHY IT WORKS This image again uses reflection – this time, using a mirror to create the illusion there are hundreds of flickering lights. Choosing to shoot this dark has played a great part in the deceiving concept. It’s really hard to not get yourself, or the camera, in the reflection – but there are no signs of Kata. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

TRAIN JOURNEYS

CHECKING IN

1

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TOY TRAIN, DARJEELING

The king size bed

SANDMAN SIGNATURE HOTEL OVERVIEW This swish new hotel – until recently an unsightly derelict building by Newcastle United’s football ground, St James’s Park – cuts an imposing figure on the ‘Toon’s ever-expanding hotel scene. A Canadian brand, Sandman does ritzy-chic with just the right measure of bad taste, the reception welcoming guests with a huge effigy of a horse that has a lampshade in place of its head, and Sixties-style egg-shaped chairs hanging from the ceiling. Straddling the laughable and the luxurious, this daft decor doesn’t take away from the hotel’s masterclass in affordable modern comfort. WOW FACTOR Breakfast is everything you’d expect from a North American brand; choose from a huge list that includes bacon and pancakes with maple syrup, and the irresistible combo that is steak and eggs. ROOMS The king-size beds are obscenely comfortable, and rain showers will keep you under the cascades for hours. Studios come with breakfast bar, hobs, kettle and toaster and make a great meeting point before hitting the clubs. BILL PLEASE Rooms start at £99pn, and include free wireless and free use of the in-hotel gym.

Gallowgate Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 4SD sandmansignature.co.uk

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In times gone by, the stifling summer heat of Calcutta would drive the British high into the hills of Darjeeling for their seasonal retreat. Today, the Toy Train runs from the plains of New Jalpaiguri to the city’s cool, lush heights, offering breathtaking views of the Himalayan peaks and a unique travel experience. The train rises 2000 metres in little over 80km, passing through forests and towns along the way. It casually rolls on roads alongside buildings, with the lines so close that they resemble city tramways more than train lines. Shop owners and fruit vendors smile unperturbed as the train trundles past their stalls within touching distance. To forewarn people of its arrival, the train has an impressively loud horn, designed to eclipse the noises of car horns. That the horn is used virtually non-stop on the journey does little to take away from the enjoyment (honestly). If anything, it enhances the unique feel of this particular route. As the journey continues past

verdant tea plantations, the temperature drops dramatically and the breathtaking brilliance of the route becomes even clearer. Marvel at some of the world’s most spectacular mountain views and catch a glimpse of the world’s third highest mountain, Kanchenjunga. The entire Darjeeling Himalayan Railway became a Unesco World Heritage Site in 1999, although this stretch is by far the most breathtaking. In fact, such is the importance of this train route that the Darjeeling Himalayan Railway Society was formed to “promote awareness of, interest in and support for” the line. Many of the stations along the way have been restored as part of this society’s efforts. The quaint little stations give an enjoyably vintage feel to the journey, while the trains themselves are a sight to behold. At the equivalent of just 50p for a second-class ticket, you won’t find a more spectacular and interesting journey anywhere in the world. indianrail.gov.in


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BERGEN RAILWAY, NORWAY

Offering entirely different, but equally impressive, experiences in the winter and summer, this high altitude line links Norway’s two main cities, Oslo and Bergen. The 496km journey will take you past exquisite landscapes, including glorious fjords, glaciers, snow-capped mountains and Norway’s largest national park, Hardangervidda. This is by far one of the most scenic train lines in the world. nsb.no/BergenRailway

Photos: Getty; TNT

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TRAIN JOURNEYS

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QINGZANG RAILWAY, CHINA

The section between Qinghai in China and Tibet’s capital, Lhasa, is the highest track in the world. This railway line is an engineering marvel, with about 550km of the line laid on permafrost. The Tanggula Mountains are aweinspiring and crossing the Tibetan Plateau will – quite literally – take your breath away. Emergency oxygen is required for anyone wishing to travel, as the train rises to 5000 metres above sea level. chinatibettrain.com

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TOP FIVE

THE GHAN, AUSTRALIA

Named after the Afghan camel trains that pioneered the routes through Australia’s Outback, the line from Adelaide to Darwin is nearly 2000 miles long. En route you will get the chance to marvel at the neverending desert, watch kangaroos grazing in the wild and take a peek at some of the country’s best vineyards. Gorges, mountains and rivers aplenty accompany this wild and varied terrain. theghantrain.com.au

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TRANS-SIBERIAN, RUSSIA

You didn’t seriously think we’d compile this list without including the world’s longest – and perhaps most famous – railway, did you? Going a third of the way around the world and spanning seven time zones would be enough of a draw for most travellers, without the impressive Siberian landscape and elegant trains. The cabins are comfortable and the scenery will keep you occupied for hours on end. Seven days on a train has never passed so quickly.

NEXT WEEK The best adventure sports that you can do indoors!

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TRAVELTIPS

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Jaipur is the colourful capital of Rajasthan

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READERS’ TIPS SMELLY MEMORIES TIP Whenever I go travelling, OF THE l buy a new deodorant or WEEK body spray that I’ve never used before to take along with me. When I get home, I put it away in a box and don’t regularly use it again. On a rainy day, I’ll take it out and spray a little in the air. As smell is the sense most strongly linked to memory, just a whiff of that scent long after the holiday is over will bring back vivid memories of the good times you had! Caitlin, via email

YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

want to do a couple of days in Prague Q Ibefore hiring a car and driving around neighbouring countries. I’d like to go to Munich and Salzburg, and then head back to Prague. Can you suggest any stop overs along the way, particularly on the route back? We’ve set aside about a week. Jo, via email your way back to Prague you will pass A On through the Bavarian forest in the south

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recommend as the highlights? Ideally, I would see the Taj Mahal as well, but will this be possible in such a short time? Jen, via email can easily see the major sights of A You Rajasthan in two weeks and get to the Taj Mahal at Agra. You’re most likely to fly into Delhi where you can jump straight onto the express train to Agra, which is only two hours away and costs less than £10 for a single ticket in an airconditioned compartment. The Taj Mahal is best viewed at sunrise or sunset. Don’t visit on a Friday when the complex is closed to anyone not attending prayer. From Agra, take a five-hour train ride to Jaipur, the capital of Rajasthan. The City Palace is in the centre of the Old City and worth a look. Near to Jaipur is the impressive Amber Fort which you can reach by bus or taxi. If you’re here in the evening, there’s a sound and light show at the Maota Lake at the foot of the fort. Also, check out the lakeside town of Udaipur. You can get an overnight sleeper train from Jaipur to Udaipur. While there, visit the City Palace (Rajasthan’s largest palace) and the Hindu Jagdish Temple, but make sure you allow some time to enjoy the view of Lake Pichola. If you have time, other highlights include Jaisalmer Fort, a camel safari in the Thar Desert, and spotting tigers at Ranthambhore National Park.

A WARNING Don’t go to France. Ricky, via email

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east of Germany, just two hours outside of Munich. Stop off at Passau, a pretty town just inside the German border with Austria, for at least a night and explore the gorgeous Altstadt (old town). Nestled between three rivers, Passau was a powerful trading post and has a grand history and architecture to match. If you like the outdoors and the weather is fine, spend a few days hiking in the forest – the stunning scenery will be a nice change from all that city exploring. Next, cross the border back into the Czech Republic and head to the gorgeous town of Ceský Krumlov. A fantastic jumble of Renaissance and Baroque architecture forms the old town. The castle, with its stunning architecture on the banks of the river Vltava, is the town’s top spot. It is only open April to October so it should be fine for your visit next summer (castle.ckrumlov.cz ). If you still have time left, why not head to Vienna – it’s only three hours from Ceský Krumlov by car.

planning on going to Rajasthan Q I’m for two weeks. What would you

IN PRAISE OF HEAD TORCHES When on the Inca Trail, pack a head torch. Seriously, it is essential. When you want to go to the toilet in the night, there are no lights in the cubicles and you will need both hands! Also, when packing up your tent at crazy o’clock in the morning, before the sun has come up, it is way easier to roll up a sleeping bag with two hands rather than one. Louise, via email


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Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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BEST Weekend breaks around Morocco while I was teaching English in Rabat in 2008. The culture, the sights, the people, the smells and the shopping made for some amazing little adventures. WORST A month travelling with my brother around Hong Kong and Vietnam. He was a last-minute addition to the group and we drove each other up the wall – starting when he abandoned us in Kowloon just a few hours after arriving, leaving us with no map, no phones and no idea where our hostel was! » Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@ tntmagazine.com

Most memorable travel experience? I recently travelled around Europe for two months. I loved Prague – it was beautiful and not too over-touristed. Scariest travel experience? A cash machine ate my bank card in Egypt. I did panic a bit, but my friend helped me out with money until we got home. Best gig abroad? I saw David Hasselhoff in Berlin. They love him over there! I must say he’s not really my thing, though.

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THE INSIDER

NATASHA TUCKER, Marketing, 9 Flats

My first big trip abroad was when I backpacked around South America with a friend. I was 19 and we were very naive, but it was the trip of a lifetime. My most challenging travel experience was having to get from Chitwan National Park back to Pokhara, in Nepal, during a Maoist road block. It was terrifying! My favourite place in the world is Bermuda, because it’s where I’m from. I feel a certain peacefulness there. The next trip on my travel wishlist is Jordan, because I have always wanted to go and visit Petra. I always pack a deck of cards. It’s definitely the best ice breaker and a great way of forming fast friendships. My guilty travel pleasure is a pillow from home. It makes dodgy hostel experiences a little more comfortable. My top travel tip is take a raincoat or an umbrella with you everywhere. You never regret it. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The Alster Lake, where you can sail

Hamburg

Hamburg BERLIN

GERMANY GERMANY

Clean-living by the lake; below right, The Beatles in 1962

GETTING GETTINGTHERE THERE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx EasyJet flies direct to Hamburg from London Gatwick, starting at £25.99 one-way, or from London Luton, starting at £20.99 one-way. (easyjet.com)

Same again: a riverside bar

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Naughty, but nice Hamburg’s reputation is built on the Red Light District and rock n’ roll. But the port city has a more sophisticated side, too WORDS SIMON COLE

As the sun disappears behind the trees, sailboats silently criss-cross the Alster Lake as the chic clientele at the Amora jetty bar raise a glass of wine to the sunset. It’s hard to believe that on the other side of town, visiting football fans on a post-match spree are tearing up the infamous Reeperbahn – Hamburg’s Red Light District. But then this port city offers more than its reputation for ‘legal brothels’ might suggest. The Reeperhahn does have to be seen: day-trippers fill the cobbled streets, wandering between girlie bars and the notorious ladies in windows. Gangs of men and women drink like there’s no tomorrow; ever since a bishop legalised prostitution to protect the local female folk from visiting sailors, it’s attracted the thirsty, the frisky and the curious from across the globe. It was on the ‘sinful strip’ in the St Pauli district in the early Sixties that The Beatles honed their groundbreaking sound. Described by their German sound engineer as “loud, loud, loud!”, these were the days before Ringo – Stuart Sutcliffe and Pete Best completed the line-up – and was so early on in The Beatles’ story that George Harrison was eventually deported for being underage. Playing every night for months on end, for just a few hundred (pre-Euro) Deutschmarks, the band cut their teeth in famous but longgone clubs such as the Kaiserkeller. At the interactive Beatlemania museum, just off the Reeperbahn on Nobistor, the band’s less than glamorous beginnings are brought to life: they slept in an unheated store room in a cinema in an area known for gangsters, and shared their bathroom with customers. Live music still drifts out of the bars on Grosse Freiheit street, where I pick up a beer for €0.99 (87p) and watch teenagers dancing around a sound system at the ‘Fab Four’ memorial Beatles-Platz, a public square shaped like a vinyl record. But it’s the other side of Hamburg I want to see, so I head to the little bars that litter Lange Reihe Street in the St Georg district. Once a dodgy part of town, it is now undergoing gentrification, a perfect example of this once sketchy city cleaning up its act. “You must be hungry!” shouts the owner of the Habibi Grill as I pass. “Why not come in?” he says with a smile, a bow and a flourish. With a sizeable Turkish population in Germany, a kebab

is going native, so how can I decline a pitch like that? Couples stroll past, greeting friends at intimate tables outside restaurants – lit here by candles, not neon. St Georg has the feel of a village, not a suburb in a major city. “This is absolutely not the Reeperbahn,” a friend of the owner tells me. “They do their thing – we do ours. Hamburg is a big city – and that’s just one street you’re talking about.” Have pass will travel, so a subway trip later I find myself back in St Pauli – but not the Reeperbahn.

It attracts the thirsty and the frisky

The Jolly Roger is the St Pauli FC supporters bar where loud anti-fascist punk plays as black-clad locals lounge in hoodies bearing the football club’s skull and crossbones logo. The political message here is one of tolerance – as long ››

The Reeperbahn is still a must-do TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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as you’re not a neo-Nazi. At €2 (£1.75) a bottle of beer, I can just about tolerate a nightcap. The second biggest port in Europe, Hamburg is all about the water; so the next day I take a ferry tour of the vast harbour. Included in the cost of a Hamburg Card (€8.90/£8), thrifty tourists have caught on and the boat is packed. (If you fancy a little more privacy when taking to the water, hire sailing and rowing boats at various outlets around the Alster Lake.) Heading west, we pass the prosperous residents of pretty Blankenese strolling on a shingle beach. In autumnal sunshine, container ships process down the River Elbe towards the sprawling dock complex that brought the men who paid for the Reeperbahn. Back at the Landungsbruecken ferry terminal, joining the long queue for popular seafood chain Nordsee, seagulls swoop over the water while boats busily to and fro. Fish and chips never tasted so good; and not a stripper to be seen. ❚ More on the Beatlemania museum at beatlemania-hamburg.com For info on the Hamburg Card see hamburg-tourism.de

Trendy: once-dodgy areas of Hamburg are gentrifying into hipster hangouts

NEXT WEEK We discover the dog-eat-dog world of truffle hunting in the Italian countryside

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Fish and chips by the water at the Landungsbruecken ferry terminal is a bargain €3 (£2.60) from popular German chain Nordsee. (nordsee.com)

Lamb Kofta from the friendly fellows at the Habibi Grill in St Georg costs €8.50 (£7.50).

Surf ‘n’ Turf at posy place Amora Bar, located on a jetty by the Alster Lake, is €28 (£25). It may be a bit chilly in winter. (a-mora.com)

DRINK

Grab a loud and lairy Reeperbahn cheapie in the 99 Cent Bar on Grosse Freiheit. It’s naff, but undeniably good value.

A pint is €3.60 (£3) in the more sedate Frau Moeller on the Lange Reihe strip in St Georg. (fraumoeller.de)

A champagne cocktail will lighten your wallet by €8.50 (£7.50), or a pint by €4 (£3.50), in the upmarket Turnhalle, also in St Georg. (turnhalle.com)

SLEEP

Instant Sleep has dorms from €16.50 (£14.50) and is perfectly placed in the hip Schanzenviertel. Think Shoreditch, Deutsch-style. (instantsleep.de)

Twins at the clean budget hostelhotel Meininger City Hotel in Altona start at €34.50pppn (£30). (meininger-hotels.com)

Stay with the maritime flavour and rent the Captain’s Cabin aboard the 160m-long floating harbourside museum, MV Cap San Diego. €125 (£110) will get you and your shipmate squared away in style. (capsandiego.de)

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Photos: Wolfgang Scholvien Photograph, Roberto Hegeler, Simon Cole

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

City by the sea This is Brighton in 48 hours WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

DAY 1: 09:00 Fuel up at Sanctuary Cafe (sanctuarycafe. co.uk), with a healthy but hearty breakfast. Brighton is known for veggie restaurants like this one – embrace it. 10:30 Test your hand-eye co-ordination with a spot of beach volleyball (yes, Brighton beach has pebbles, but there’s a man-made sandy area for seaside sports). Book a court at Yellow Wave (yellowave.co.uk) for £20 an hour or join a class for £5 per person. If volleyball isn’t your thing, book in for beach soccer, rugby, ultimate frisbee or Brazilian footvolley (like volleyball, but using your feet). 13:00 Next on the agenda is a cookery lesson at Jamie Oliver’s Recipease on Western Road (jamieoliver.com/ recipease). Try your hand at Mexican street food, cooking the perfect steak, perfecting a fragrant Thai green curry, or becoming a pasta master. Sessions cost from £30 and you’ll be able to tuck into your creation at the end. You can also stash any leftovers and take them home with you – if you don’t eat everything on sight. 17:00 Hit the pier for a ride on the Turbocoaster and Crazy Mouse rollercoasters. Or if you’re too full to be shaken every which way, try your luck on the arcade games. A trip to the British seaside wouldn’t be the same without it, but watch out for the seagulls (brightonpier.co.uk). 19:30 Be scared senseless with a ghost walk on The Lanes. (ghostwalkbrighton.co.uk). Tours cost a fiver and you don’t need to book – just meet the group at The Druid’s Head Pub in Brighton Place. 21:00 If you’re still up to eating after your scare-fest, get down to the Milkmaid’s Pavilion on the seafront for a meal 70

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at Italian restaurant, Alfresco (alfresco-brighton.co.uk). While you look out over the beach to the sea, enjoy a delicious baked salmon fillet with a homemade pesto crust served on caponata with roasted root vegetables (£17.95), and wash that down with an Amaretto digestif. 23:00 Retreat to the Artist Residence hotel on Regency Square (arthotelbrighton.co.uk), which doubles as a place to sleep and a gallery, seeing as each room is a very different work of art. The Pinky Vision room gives you a sea view, plus one hell of a psychedelic ‘Love’ mural. Double rooms cost from £60pn, including breakfast. DAY 2: 10:00 You can’t visit Brighton without seeing The Royal Pavilion (brighton-hove-rpml.org.uk). Inside the city’s most famous spot, where King George IV held lavish parties and feasts, you’ll find rooms with ceilings that go on forever, decorated in a dazzling Anglo-Chinese design. Entry costs £9.80. There’ll also be an ice rink in the grounds this winter, until January 22, if you fancy a skate. 12:00 Now check out The Lanes in daylight, where you’ll find quirky vintage stores, sweet shops and cafes. Make sure you pay a quick visit to the bizarre Lanes Armoury (thelanesarmoury.co.uk). More of a museum than a shop, the place is full of antique weaponry, from Japanese samurai swords to suits of armour and American Civil War rifles. 13:00 Stop at Street Thai on Brighton Square (streetthai.co.uk) for some tasty and affordable street-style food – think noodle soups, satays and stir-fry dishes – served in the comfort of an urban, graffiti-decorated restaurant. Wait until you try the food before calling it a cop-out.


Independently owned hostel in the heart of regency Brighton

SECONDS FROM THE SEA

• Run by backpackers for backpackers • Twin and 4 bed dorms all with seaview (just!) • All beds have memory foam mattresess’ • Communal kitchen (in unique bunker basement)

• Free help yourself breakfast • Free linen and towels

Photos: Amy Adams, Visit Brighton, Thinkstock

• Private bathrooms 14:00 Now blow away the cobwebs with a wakeboarding session at Hove Lagoon. Beginners’ lessons at Lagoon Watersports (lagoon.co.uk) cost £50 and equipment and wetsuits are provided. 16:00 After being dragged through the sea by a speedboat, you’ll probably want to do something a bit more chilled. Brighton is synonymous with Mods and Rockers, so visit the Modern World Gallery (modernworldgallery.com) in the arches on the seafront. There, you’ll find Union Jack guitars, posters and prints of scooters and music legends, and other memorabilia emblazoned with the Mod target. 19:00 Line your stomach with an obligatory helping of fish and chips on the beach from one of the many greasy chippies lining the seafront as the sun sets, before you embark on a big evening. 20:00 Get the (dirt cheap) drinks in at beachside Brighton Coalition, in the King’s Road Arches (drinkinbrighton. co.uk/coalition), which plays host to comedians, bands and DJs, depending on the night. 23:00 Venture a few metres inland and lose yourself at newly opened club The Haunt (thehauntbrighton. co.uk). Responsible for both Eighties pop nights and DJ sets from the likes of Erol Alkan and 2manydjs, it’s a stonking end to a weekend of big fun. Travel by train with Southern Railway to Brighton from London Victoria (1h) from £22.80 return southernrailway.com For other travel options and tourist information go to visitbrighton.com/tourist-information/travel

• Daily cleaning • No curfew (Secure 24 hour keycode entry)

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Traditional: spot the geishas

Japan

GETTING THERE Flights from London to Tokyo, with a stop-off in Moscow, start at £540 with Aeroflot. (aeroflot.ru)

JAPAN

Fukushima

TOKYO Kyoto

Tokyo’s business district 72

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What’s big in Japan? On an odyssey to see all 47 prefectures in 100 days, we discover a little Britain, the joy of raw chicken and snow monsters WORDS JAMIE LAFFERTY

While technically on a giant free holiday, my fiancée and I are travelling Japan as part of the Travel Volunteer Project, aimed at bringing tourism back to the country in the aftermath of March’s earthquake and tsunami. It’s not as easy as it sounds: Japan is huge (from north to south it stretches further than London to Moscow), and simply covering the distance is a challenge. Pickled egg, marinated fish and fermented beans can be hard to stomach for breakfast some mornings, too. But between the generosity of the people, the vast brilliance of the countryside and the endless combinations of fantastic food, we’re well compensated. Here are 10 of our strangest – and best – experiences so far.

WHEN TO GO: January to April is generally dry and sunny in Japan. The famous cherry blossom season begins in late March and is in full bloom throughout April. The rainy season begins May to early July. August is hot and humid, and typhoon season is at its peak August to September. October to December is warm and a low season for tourists. CURRENCY: £1 = 125JPY ACCOMMODATION: K’s House Tokyo does dorm beds from £24 a night, with 24-hour hot showers included. SEE: seejapan.co.uk

The best of British, Fukushima From the moment the car turns into the drive, something changes. We have, it seems, gone through a wormhole and ended up back in Britain – the buildings are British, the currency is the pound and everyone speaks English. Odd, very odd, especially as we’re in Fukushima (gasp!), the now notorious prefecture north of Tokyo. The only un-British thing here is the radiation reading, which is around half of what it would be on an average day in Cornwall, and considerably lower than London. While it’s unlikely you’d pick British Hills as a holiday destination in itself, it makes a great stop for those pining for a taste of the West: the buildings were all built in the UK first, disassembled and rebuilt here; roast beef and Yorkshire puddings are on the menu; and there’s an eerily authentic pub. Alternatively, as it’s ostensibly a language school for moneyed Japanese students, it’s a great place to pick up a season of work as a teacher. See: british-hills.co.jp The chicken or the horse, Nagano Tucked away in an alley not far from the train station in Matsumoto, Nagano, lies Tori Shin, a small yakitori restaurant. It serves grilled chicken breast, legs and wings,

but also skin, neck meat, soft bone, livers, hearts and cartilage – and then the big one, toriwasa: uncooked chicken. Or almost uncooked. Crucially, toriwasa isn’t absolutely raw – it’s boiled for 30 seconds to give it a millimetre of white coating, which is just enough to kill any bacteria. The opaque pinkness on the inside is totally safe, and utterly delicious. Seasoned with wasabi, there’s a little sake, a little salt and a lot of tenderness. Don’t fancy it? Matsumoto’s other speciality is raw horse meat. The way of the wanko, Iwate

There are various stories about how the practice of wanko soba came to be. One says that a feudal lord passing through Iwate on his way north stopped at a small inn and demanded something to eat. The humble owners produced one small bowl of cold noodles in the hope it would appease him – or maybe put him off altogether. Unfortunately, he loved it, and demanded more. Today that gluttonous spirit lives on throughout the prefecture: the idea is simply to eat as many small bowls of buckwheat noodles as you can. In the city of Hanamaki, this is done with a waitress standing over you, dishing out more and more until you surrender. Further south in Hiraizumi, the graceless display is a little more private as 12 bowls are served at a time. The record for consumption stands at an impossible-sounding 250 bowls, but anything approaching 100 is disgustingly brilliant. Studio Ghibli, Tokyo

Yes, it’s the home of a massive studio that produces cartoons for children, but comparing the Studio Ghibli museum to Disneyland would be like comparing Kobe beef to McDonald’s. Walking around this place on the outskirts of Tokyo is like walking around inside the brain of Hayao Miyazaki, the brilliant animator behind the studio (and, perhaps most famously, the Oscar-winning Spirited Away). Even if you’re not too familiar with his work, this museum is ›› still magical: alongside the swathes of film memorabilia, TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise: snow monsters of Yamagata; how many bowls of noodles can you eat?; manga

Hey, hey, he’s a monkey: in Nagano there’s a gallery unlocking the secrets of animation, and a cinema screening original Ghibli works, just in case you’re not sure what all the fuss is about. See: ghibli.jp Monkey see, monkey do, Nagano Even if you don’t know the snow monkeys of Nagano, you know the snow monkeys of Nagano. Used in countless adverts and nature documentaries over the years, the redfaced, Japanese macaques are among the most famous simians in the world. Traditionally (well, as traditional as a phenomena that started as late as the Sixties can be), the monkeys go for a bath in the onsen (hot-spring) water only in winter, when the snow in this prefecture – which hosted the 1998 Winter Olympics – is deep and lasting. But such is the popularity of the monkeys now, and the tourists’ desire to get those National Geographic shots of them bathing, that they are gently cajoled into the water with food any time from autumn. So an unnatural phenomenon has become more so, but for about six months of the year, you can watch them do their thing at the Jigokudani Park near Yamanouchi.

the weight of a bowling ball. You could bludgeon a horse to death with this thing. He invites us to put a hand on one side of the biggest drum, before he moves around the other side and, one-handed, attacks it like a deranged executioner. Our hands feel as if they are being scalded for being naughty as they jump off the leather; the bass makes us feel a bit sick. It’s great. After that we are invited to have a bash ourselves; we are less amazing. See: kodo.or.jp

The sensei’s boom stick, Niigata In the south of Sado Island, in an enormous dojo (a gathering place for students of martial arts), we watch 56-year-old Sensei and Kodo veteran Shinichi Sogo demonstrate his formidable 30 years of experience on the traditional Taiko drums. Kodo is a drumming troupe, based on the island, that performs the traditional rhythms of regional Japan around the world. The sticks used are typically very light, but this Sensei wields a chunk of oak the size of a baseball bat and 74

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The Namahage, or ogres, of Akita


The ice monsters cometh, Yamagata At the right time of year, there are almost endless skiing opportunities in Japan, and while there may be prefectures with better powder than Yamagata, there aren’t many that have anything quite so spectacular as the snow monsters. Fierce winds blow moist air up to the peaks of Mount Zao which in turn clings to frozen pine trees near the mountaintop, and by January the weird creatures have arrived. Any hint that a tree lies underneath has been smothered completely, giving the impression of colossal white creatures lurching over you as you navigate the run. There’s good news at the bottom: the town of Zao has one of the warmest, most plentiful hot-springs in the country. Sapporo me another one, Hokkaido Before long you’ll have to make a tough decision in Japan: which of the big beer brands is your favourite? We’d nudge you in the direction of Sapporo. Named after the city in which it’s made, Sapporo has been helping people fight off the biting cold in northerly Hokkaido for more than 100 years. These days it’s a sprawling corporation with the main brewery located well out of town, but its original home has been converted into a surprisingly excellent museum and – yes – tasting room. Sadly, the brew they made with hops grown on the international space station is not available for public consumption. See: sapporobeer.jp Devils in disguise, Akita When watching a video of Namahage, the traditional bogeyman, in action, it can be hard to know when you’re supposed to laugh, if at all. In the appropriately named Oga district of Akita prefecture, a museum dedicated to the marauding ogres shows them in action, trying to snatch screeching children from their homes. The parents play dumb, making half-hearted pleas with the monstrous raiders: “Oh no, Mr Namahage, I’m sure he’ll do his homework on time if you just spare his life!” The whole thing is hilarious for everyone – other than the kids, of course. You might have the smile wiped off your face, though, if you hang around for one of the daily Namahage re-enactments which, like ››

The Insider's guide Eric Demay is a French expat living and working in Kanazawa for The Real Japan, a luxury tour company that specialises in building itineraries for guests. What advice would you give to people who are thinking of coming to Japan? My advice is to come soon! Right now is actually the best time to enjoy the famous sightseeing spots in a peaceful and quiet environment. This wasn’t really the case before the earthquake, because Japan was so popular with international travellers. Large tour groups could be quite noisy and disturb the experience of visiting a Zen temple. Those tourists have not yet returned and you should come before they do. What about those who are nervous about radiation? Radiation is scary because we, as citizens, know so little about it. Everyone should check on the internet the levels of radiation in the main cities of the world and the place where they live. Many will be surprised to learn the radiation level in Kyoto is twice lower than New York and three times lower than Hong Kong. Japan is a notoriously expensive holiday destination. How can travellers save money? The best way to visit on a budget is to avoid the Japanese domestic holidays – Golden Week in May and Obon Week in August – as hotels dramatically increase their rates. The other great way to save is the Japan Rail Pass, purchased outside Japan, that gives you unlimited travel on most trains on the JR network for a certain period of time. What is your favourite time of year in the country? Spring, from the end of March until May. Flowers and cherry trees blossom and the weather is warm without being too hot. See: real-japan.com

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all the best Japanese horrors, is made more scary by the fact that you can’t understand what they’re saying. See: namahage.co.jp

Check out cherry blossom season

Stand up sushi, Tokyo If you’re not careful with sushi, you can spend an awful lot for very little. But anywhere close to Tokyo’s vast Tsukiji fish market – one of the capital’s most popular attractions, and one of the largest wholesale food markets in the world – shouldn’t have any excuses for giving you substandard seafood. Of the myriad options, we can’t find anything better than Chiyoda Sushi. It might be a humble, unspectacular stand-up joint, but everything we try is a winner. We get through about 20 pieces each, and there’s nothing that is less than great – even things we’d ordinarily avoid like squid and eel are excellent. Best of all, the money saved on seats is passed on to the punters: the superlative sushi is generally just Y80 (65p) per piece. See: chiyoda-sushi.co.jp ❚ Follow Jamie’s travels at

travelvolunteerblog.net

BEST OF THE REST JAPAN’S TOURISTY MUST-DO’S

Kyoto: old-world Japan

BEST FOR ... MODERN JAPAN TOKYO The capital is no doubt where you’ll start your travels in Japan. The Tsukiji Central Fish Market will not disappoint those in pursuit of the chaotic and exotic. Change gears at Akihabara Electric Town, which though it can no longer claim to be the centre of Tokyo’s electronics scene, does a roaring trade in (sometimes pornographic) cartoon manga. BEST FOR ... OUTDOORSY JAPAN IRIOMOTE-JIMA Jungles and mangrove forests make this an essential getaway for rugged, adventurous types. Explore Amazonian-esque rivers by kayak or trek the cross-island trail (though you’ll need permission first). The diving and beaches are pretty damn spectacular too. 76

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Yamagata: home to snow monsters and skiing

NEXT WEEK The best places to escape for a Christmas abroad

Photos: Katy Morrison, Getty, British Film Institute, Thinkstock

BEST FOR... OLD-WORLD JAPAN KYOTO This is the place to find the more traditional Japan, away from Tokyo’s futuristic cityscape. Check out Daitoku-ji, a complex of Zen temples and peaceful pebble gardens. Be sure to swing by the shrine complex of Fushimi-InariTaisha, too – spread across the wooded slopes of a mountain, it’s great for a full-day hike or an afternoon stroll.


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8 DAY

UK Golden Backpack

NILE DISCOVERY Dep. 20 Nov 2011

WAS £530

PARIS NEW YEAR

INCLUDES RETURN COACH!

ONLY

Dep. 19 & 22 Nov 2011

4 DAY 4 DAY

ER WINoN urite

Fav Middle East r Tour Operato

NOW

£450

EDINBURGH HOGMANAY

INCLUDES RETURN COACH!

£289 £299

DAY 4 DAY 4 PRAGUE KRAKOW NEW YEAR

MAKE YOUR OWN WAY

ONLY

15 DAY

NEWIN EYUERAORPSE ONLY

WARM UP IN

-and-new-year www.topdeck.travel/christmas

NEW YEAR

MAKE YOUR OWN WAY

£199 £179 ONLY

www.topdeck.travel/deals

INCLUDES USD$210 LOCAL PAYMENT

FOR MORE CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS TRIPS CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE

trips for 18 to 30 somethings

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L8291 / Y2992

Flights not included. Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.626, which must be paid locally in USD. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments.


www.topdeck.travel/deals

EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

8 DAY PARADES TO PIAZZAS

20% OFF

Includes Rome, Venice, Salzburg, Amsterdam, Brugge, plus more!

Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Florence & Rome.

EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

14 DAY WINTER WONDER Dep. 16 Dec 2011

Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Rome, Venice, Salzburg, plus more!

WAS

£1220

NOW

£975

WAS

20% OFF

£825

£660

NOW

NOW

10% 2 OFF

£730

£585

9 DAY HADRIAN’S PATH Dep. 21 Dec 2011

Dep. 16 Dec 2011

WAS

EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

EUROCLUB: Hostels to hotels, bungalows, castles & yachts

18 DAY WINTER GETAWAY

Dep. 19 Nov, 7 Dec 2011 & 5 Jan 2012

Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Venice, Prague, Berlin, plus more!

WAS FROM

20% OFF

£1185

£985

INCLUDES £195 FOOD FUND

ORE FOR M LS DEA UT KO CHECUR O ITE E W BS

CALL US 0845 257 5210 Prices quoted & discounts are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off trip prices only, and do not include food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. See website for full terms and conditions.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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IN WINTER


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RUGBY LEAGUE N 4 NATIONS FINAL SAT 19 NOV Coach Tour £119 ✔ One night hotel ✔ Coach travel ✔ Match ticket

EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY!

RUGBY UNION

30 DEC-2 JAN £209/249 N 4 Day Coach/Hostel Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN £279 N 3 Night Hostel & Hotel

DON’T MISS THIS YEAR’S ONLY LONDON INTERNATIONAL N AUS v BARBARIANS Twickenham SAT 26 NOV ✔ Confirmed for the Barbarians: Stirling Mortlock, Sonny Bill Williams, Victor Matfield & Piri Weepu!

£35

SANTA PUB CRAWL ANNUAL XMAS PUB CRAWL

HOGMANAY ✔ Accom ideally located in the absolute heart of town ✔ Edinburgh street party pass ✔ Superb pubs, bars & clubs ✔ Funky tour t-shirt ✔ Experienced Fanatics tour reps

FOOTBALL

SUN 11 DEC £25

✔ Private red double-decker party bus ✔ Discount drinks ✔ Multiple pub stops ✔ Santa suit & hat included ✔ Group Santa photos at London’s most famous sites

PADDY’S DAY

ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE N Fulham FC vs Odense BK WED 14 DEC N Fulham FC vs Bolton Wanderers SAT 17 DEC N Fulham FC vs Newcastle SAT 21 JAN N Fulham FC vs Man Utd SAT 24 MAR Coach Trip N Fulham FC vs Liverpool SAT 14 APR Coach Trip

FEB SKI WEEK

CELEBRATE PADDY’S DAY IN DUBLIN! N 3 Nights Dublin 15-18 MAR £159 ✔ Three nights hostel ✔ Guinness tour ✔ Paddy’s Day Parade

ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS

GALLIPOLI TOURS N 3 Day Tour 24-26 APR £199 N 4 Day Tour 23-26 APR £239 N 5 Day Tour 22-26 APR £279 N 8/9 Day Tours 18-26 APR or 22-29 APR £399 N 15/16 Day Tours 11-26 APR or 22 APR-6 MAY £599 WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian Battlefields + Anzac Day Services N Eurostar Tour 23-25 APR £299 N Make Own Way 23-25 APR £259 ✔ Somme ✔ Villers-Bretonneaux ✔ Ypres ✔ Fromelles

£11 £33 £38 £99 £99

HALF-TERM SKI WEEK IN THE FRNCH ALPS! 11-18 FEB N Coach Tour Risoul, France

£649

Price Includes : ✔ Return coach from London to the Alps ✔ 6 Day lift pass ✔ Ski / Snowboard hire ✔ Optional breakfast & dinner daily ✔ Optional lessons ✔ Apartments with balcony, kitchen & ensuite bathroom

PAMPLONA AMAZING RANGE OF TOP QUALITY TOURS! N Camping Pamplona or San Sebastian

4 Days

4-15 JUL £159

N Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL N Ibiza + Pamplona Combo 5-11 JUL N San Sebastian + Pamplona 3-8 or 5-10 JUL N Coach Tours 6,7 or 8 Days Depart 3 or 4 JUL

£349 £389 fr £239 fr £279

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st 94

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm


TRAVEL

tuhal 9 nn

A

EST! THE B D N A GEST E BIG H T , L IGINA HE OR T . . . T S s SKIFE christma

0m 18000m - 35 igh H de! u Altit

1 1 0 2 S A M X the ultimate white NE W YEAR’S NYE higher than Kosciusko!

@ Skifest Xmas Day

XMAS & NYE COMBOS

NYE – COACH TOUR

N SKIFEST XMAS + PARIS NYE

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

(all-inclusive) 23 DEC-2 JAN ✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ 2 Nights Paris ✔ Coach London-Risoul-Paris-London

N 9DAYTOUR 30 DEC-7 JAN (all-inclusive) ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ 6 days skiing

£769

N SKIFEST XMAS & HOGMANAY NYE

£689

23-29 DEC & 30 DEC-2 JAN ✔ 4 Nights Risoul ✔ 3 Nights Edinburgh ✔ 4 Days skiing & Hogmanay’s NYE celebrations!

£599

NYE – FLIGHT TOUR N 8DAYTOUR 30 DEC-6 JAN ✔ 6 days skiing ✔ Book early!

£719

l! ies! rtou ais t PR esin SkNifYE

(all-inclusive)

NYE – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY

£499

XMAS – FLIGHT TOUR RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS N 8DAYTOUR 23-30 DEC

£719 (all-inclusive)

N 8DAYTOUR 31 DEC-7 JAN ✔ Self-drive or train/bus to Risoul

SKIFEST PRICE INCLUDES XMAS – COACH TOURS RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

£529

(all-inclusive) N 7DAYTOUR 23-29 DEC ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back Thurs 29 ✔ 4 days skiing

£599

(all-inclusive) N 9DAYTOUR 23-31 DEC ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back Sat 31 ✔ 6 days skiing

UNBEATABLE GROUP ATMOSPHERE! ! TOP QUALITY SNOW

✔ Return transport from London ✔ Optional b’fast & dinner daily in resort £80 ✔ Ski lift pass ✔ Ski/Snowboard hire ✔ Skifest merchandise ✔ Legendary Skifest parties & theme nights ✔ Amazing Xmas & NYE celebrations

Unbeatable skiing

OUR SKI RESORT & ACCOM ✔ Self-contained apartments (sleeps 4-6) ✔ Balcony, kitchen, ensuite bathroom & WC ✔ High altitude resorts 1,850m-3,500m ✔ Top quality snow & over 300km of piste ✔ Ski runs literally at our door step ✔ Funky resort bars, shops & restaurants

Our apartments

Know before you go..... ✔ All Fanatics tours stay in self contained apartments ✔ We DO NOT use complexes designed for schools and youth groups ✔ We only use high altitude resorts with outstanding snow records

BOOK ONLINE NOW!

www.thefanatics.com

www.skifest.co.uk or call 0207 240 3223

COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon-Fri 9am-6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Next Stop? CHEAPEST VACCINATIONS ONLINE VACCINATION SEARCH NO CONSULTATION FEE! Swapping the concrete jungle for the real thing? 1st Contact Travel Clinic can take care of all your travel health needs – with free advice plus vaccinations, tablets and accessories. Low prices, online vaccination search, same day appointments & free consultation.

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RLYZ JVT THJIHJRWHJ Not all tours were created equal!

£66.75*

JUST

Departs Edinburgh Mondays and Fridays

NORMALLY £89

The Ultimate Scottish Experience

Warm yourself up with our hot winter deals - 25% OFF all tours departing in November!

NORMALLY £139

The REAL monster weekend away

* November 2011 prices only

0131 558 9900

AFRICA EGYPT MIDDLE EAST

£44.25*

JUST

Departs Edinburgh Saturdays

See macbackpackers.com/low-vember

Think Scotland. Think MacBackpackers.

£104.25*

JUST

Departs Edinburgh Mondays

NORMALLY £59

/MacBackpackersTours

PERU SOUTH AMERICA

ADVENTURE TRAVEL TRIPS FROM 8 DAYS TO 40 WEEKS

COUNcTes 5% DIS p ri y p t tr ip

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SHORT BREAKS AMSTERDAM & BRUGGE From

£180

Fri 11 Nov - Sun 13 Nov. Return travel by coach, 2 night’s B&B, sightseeing tour, visit to a cheese and clog farm, tour manager and a half day in Brugge.

PARIS BY EUROSTAR From

£209

Fri 18 Nov - Sun 20 Nov. Two night’s B&B hotel, city sightseeing tour and plenty of free time to explore Paris.

OVERNIGHT WEEKEND TOURS OVERNIGHT HILTON NORTHERN ENGLAND Peak District & York 12 Nov - 13 Nov. From

£99pp

DAY TRIPS ¸ Sat 12 Nov. A Day In WALES. From

£46

¸ Sun 13 Nov. Windsor Castle & Hampton Court. From

£36

£36 ¸ Sat 19 Nov. Cambridge . From £36 ¸ Sat 26 Nov. York. From £45 ¸ Sun 20 Nov. Brighton. From

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £50 with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included!

Oxford and Stratford TUES, THURS, SAT & SUN From £45 with entrance into Anne Hathaway’s Cottage included!

LUXURY MINI COACH TOURS No more than 15 people with customer specified pick ups in zone 1 From

£55

¸ EVERYDAY - Oxford, Stratford & Cotswolds ¸ EVERYDAY - Stonehenge, Glastonbury, Avebury & Chalice Well ¸ EVERY SAT & SUN - Leeds Castle, Canterbury & White Cliffs of Dover

BOOK ONLINE AT:

www.andersontours.co.uk or call 0207 436 9304 Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

Anderson Tours is fully bonded by Client Trust Account

Stockholm Party Cruise Every weekend. Only £115 pp

Brugge Overnight 19-20 Nov Only £129pp Includes: luxury coach travel, ferry crossing, 1 night hostel accomm, walking tour, services of a tour manager and plenty of free time!

One night Party Cruise onboard Viking Line ‘Cinderella’. Buffet Dinner with wine, beer and soft drinks. Accommodation en suite cabin and breakfast included.

e at Book onlinrsion s.com www.outthere-excu

Or call 0207 436 9304

TNTMAGAZINE.COM 101

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WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS


TRAVEL

CHECK ON-LINE FOR LOTS MORE DATES & RESORTS!

Christmas Special! at Top French Resorts: Les Arcs / Chamonix Tignes / Flaine

PRICE INCLUDES:

t Accommodation t Lift Pass t Ski /Board & Boot Hire t "MM NFBMT FWFSZ EBZ t *OTUSVDUJPO

23rd – 30th Dec 2011 From

£509 Special Price – book before Oct 31st

Low Cost & Low Hassle luxury coaches from London to the French Alps

£99

TO ADVERTISE CONTACT Tyler: 020 7989 0493 tyler.harrison@tntmagazine.com

HOGMANaY 2011/2012

(30TH DEC - 2ND JAN) EDINBURGH 2011/2012 - EUROPES BIGGEST NEW YEARS EVE PARTY ✔ Hostel Accommodation Only FROM £249 ✔ Hotel Accommodation Only FROM £269 ✔ Coach Tours FROM £309 ✔ Hi Speed Trains Tours FROM £359 WOW - LOOK WHAT’S INCLUDED

accommodation ✔ Our Famous Aussie/Kiwi New Year Party ✔ Superb top class city centre n to Stirling excursio art Bravehe ✔ ✔ Choice of room configurations ✔ Street Party Pass options Only Accomm or Coach Train, ✔ ✔ New Years Day party

ANZAC DAY 2012

SUPERB VALUE TO URS TO ANZAC CO VE

2 Day Tour 4 Day Tour 5 Day Tour 9 Day Tour

Just £99 From £159 Only £199 Only £329

– 25 APRIL

all start and finis

102 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

LLING: E S W O N S R U O T 2012 cot Day Tours yal As - March 17 • Ro -23 • St Pat’s Day, Dublin c Ladies Day) June 21 (in 14 ril Ap l na tio 10 Na 3d ly an Ju Gr • • Pamplona Holiday 29 • Amsterdam Bank • La Tomatina - Aug 5-9 ril tours - Easter Ap - Munich • Oktoberfest

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CLASSIFIEDS To advertise call 020 7989 0567 or sales@tntmagazine.com

NANNIES | CARE | CHEFS/BAR/CATERING | TRADES | GENERAL JOBS | TAX | VISAS CARE WORK

LIVE-IN AND DAILY CARERS URGENTLY NEEDED NOW EARN UP TO £4760 IN 8 WEEKS!

Try us first as we’ll really look after YOU as well as helping you look after our clients!!! Lots of live-in and daily care jobs available now – top rates of pay & immediate start possible. Here’s just a small selection:

HOTS JOB

GOLDERS GREEN, NW11: Weekend carer required for a lady PUTNEY, SW15: Live-in carer for GR8 lady ST JOHN’S WOOD, NW8: Live-out carer required for a lady CRICKELWOOD, NW2: Driver required for a lovely lady

+ WEEKEND CARERS URGENTLY NEEDED NOW! LONDON JOBS ALWAYS AVAILABLE!

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Need to send money tntforex.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM 109


CARE WORK

CLASSIFIEDS

CARE WORK

IMMEDIATE work for able and available NURSES AND CARERS CONTACT US NOW ON:

020 7794 9323 LIVE-IN CARERS REQUIRED. Minimum pay £530 p.w. plus holiday pay & full board. Caring people needed for rewarding work. Interviews can be held any time at our Beaconsfield office or in Central London on Monday, 14th November 2011. Please call Margaret on 01494 678811 or email us at care@universal-care.co.uk Chester House, 9 Windsor End, Beaconsfield, Bucks. HP9 2JJ www.universal-care.co.uk

The Freedom of an ACTIVE Life We specialise in providing nationwide live-in and live-out care to clients with physical disabilities specialising in high level spinal cord injury Choice: a huge choice of clients & flexible working Security: comprehensive insurance protection Support: professional nurse supervision & support Career: opportunities for promotion & development

We Offer ✓ UP TO £507 PER WEEK start rate plus paid holiday ✓ FREE accommodation WHILE TRAINING ✓ FREE food & accommodation when working ✓ Award Winning Training ✓ Health & Social Care Diploma Study Programme

FLEXIBLE AND VARIED HOURS TO SUIT YOUR IMMDIATE NEEDS – 1HOUR TO 24 HOURS DAILY DAILY, NIGHTLY, WEEKENDS TO SUIT We specialise in caring for the elderly, the disabled and the infirm in their own homes. We have over 33 years experience in placing nurses and carers in homecare 95 Heath St Hampstead, NW3 6SS (on Northern line - tube)

www.colvin-nursing.co.uk We are an equal opportunities company.

NANNIES

Hampstead Nannies Live In/Daily Nannies, Mother's Helps, Housekeepers, Mat Nurses Barkat House 116-118 Finchley Road London NW3 5HT Finchley Road

Tel: 020 7433 2525/26

About You ✓ Over 18 (21 & driving license for live-in work) ✓ Flexible ✓ Previous experience not required as full training given ✓ If you have an NVQ in care or other medical qualification you will start work on our enhanced rates of pay

Visit www.activeassistance.com or call our recruitment hotline on 01732 749175 for further information.

110 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

ARE YOU JOB HUNTING? JOBS Solving your recruitment problems!


CHEFS/BAR/CATERING

TRADES & LABOUR FULLY QUALIFIED QUANTITY SURVEYORS REQUIRED MUST HAVE AT LEAST 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN COMMERCIAL AND SHOP FIT OUT. Please send your C.V including a covering letter to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

Casual/ Freelance and Permanent Chef De Parties Needed for Event Caterers/4-5 Star Hotels/Restaurants. £9 - £15 per hour ¸Ltd Company and Self Employed Welcome ¸Weekly Pay ¸Varied Hours ¸Ongoing Work CV, Level 2 Hyg Cert. Legality to Work Ess. Phone 0203 142 7117 Email: oliver@heatlondon.com

Experienced Tractor and Harvester Drivers, Milkers & Stockpeople - wanted for Farm and Rural work all over UK.

www.heatlondon.com

APPLY ONLINE: www.4xtrahands.com Ph: 01284 747292

Professional Chef de Parties required

WANTED

for Event Catering companies within Central London.

HIGHLY SKILLED & EXPERIENCED SITE MANAGERS, CARPENTERS, PAINTERS, LABOURERS & DRYLINERS. Please send your C.V. including copies of CIS card, CSCS card and any Trade Certificates to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

£9.00-£12.50 p/h. Weekly pay, flexible hours, 7 days p/w. CV, Qual, Passport, Hyg Cert ess. Tel: 0208 946 6342 or 0208 944 1609 Email: claire@claireschefs.com (Agy)

LIVE-IN JOBS

F/T Shop Assistant

Call Dee Cooper for immediate Bar/waiting live - in jobs across England & Scotland. Jobs in everyday for couples and singles plus great chef jobs too! Call 01764 670001 or email dee@livein-jobs.demon.co.uk

required by Beatles shop on Baker St. Knowledge of The Beatles an advantage. Please email/post CV to: London Beatles Store, 231-233 Baker St, London NW1 6XE

GENERAL EMPLOYMENT

sgtpepper@beatlesstorelondon.co.uk

EARN UP TO: £1,500.00 IN 4WEEKS !! • Plus FREE accommodation • Plus FREE meals and transport • Plus have a FANTASTIC time!

We are Best Parties Ever Ltd and we run spectacular Christmas Parties from the end of November and throughout December in 17 venues across the UK.We promise you a fun environment in which to work, good rates of pay, free accommodation and free meals

Work starts late November and finishes before Christmas Day. To apply, meet up with us between 11am – 4pm for an informal interview on one of the following days, bringing with you a valid work visa and passport. If you are unable to bring these items with you, we will not be able to interview you.

For more info visit www.bestpartiesever.com

Wednesday 9th November, Friday 11th November, Wednesday 16th November and Thursday 17th November At Th W lk b

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TNTMAGAZINE.COM 111

CLASSIFIEDS

WANTED

PROFESSIONAL CHEF DE PARTIES & ABOVE REQUIRED


CLASSIFIEDS

DANCERS & MODELS Alessandra Stduio offers 50% off on all Fashion/Glamour Photoshoot until 15th Nov. Get yourself into amazing experience with Professional Photographer and Make up Artist and receive photos the way you want! Please e-mail us at: AlessandraStudio@hotmail.co.uk alessandrastudio.co.uk

ADULT SERVICES

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* of ability to pick up ‘the game of life’. Things you should know: we are keeping the rowing machine and you lose the snakebite skulling comp 2-1. Please come back and visit. With love, G-rath, Kitty Kat, Cookie, Cowan and Lil G. Hip hop: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELFISH! Enjoy your last days in sunny London and see you back in sunnier Oz. Lotsa love, B. Aussie Wolverine from Halloween: You were there

you to give me the captain’s fishy fingers. Nemo. Seeking nannies in West London: I am a supply teacher from NZ living in Acton. I have recently started a new job as a nanny in Hammersmith/Chiswick on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and am looking for other nannies in the area to meet up with on those days. The children are aged four and two years. Look forward to hearing from you. My

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#452 Sail into Sydney Harbour on a boat made entirely of empty beer cans

with some friends and so was I at the Kensington Roof Gardens Halloween event. Should have asked for your number but didn’t! Get in touch! The Cat :) somegirlinlondon@yahoo.com, via tntmagazine.com/forums Tube hottie: 8:47am Tuesday, District Line heading west, we locked eyes just as my bag got caught in the closing doors, coffee? Pepe. Ahoy there: Hey Captain Birdseye, fancy meeting in the crow’s nest at midnight? I fancy the cod off you and would love for

email is katecowper@hotmail.com. Via tntmagazine.com/forums Hey sexy witch: You made me twitch, but didn’t miss a trick, then you cast a spell, and made me yell. That was fright night proper. Katrina and the Daves: I hope your move back home wasn’t too rough. London is just not the same without you! Much love, the Rolling Stones. Mags: We’re better than this. Who would have thought a few bad words and sensitive emotions would end our friendship so easily? I miss your snort and your ruthless

banter and I know you miss my smart ass rebuttals and my muttles laugh. Text me so we can reunite, forgive and forget, and go on planning our one-day weddings and future children’s play dates, because life’s too short. Granite, via tntmagazine.com/forums Looking for funky fringe from the Shepherd’s Bush Walkie: So we bumped into each other and were discussing our chests and under garments. In my excitement we became separated. If you would like to carry on where we left off, hit me up ;) Funky, via tntmagazine.com/forums A night of horror: We met on the Occupy London zombie walk and I didn’t have a chance to get your number. You were rotting but gorgeous, wearing a Dawn Of The Dead t-shirt. Get in touch on the TNT forums. Hey there, spanker: To the five-foot man in the cream leather jacket at Cockfosters station on Saturday night. You blew my mind with your style. Deear Kev: Why are you here? I don’t believe I asked you to follow me halfway across the world. Let’s tear this place up. Sarah. Caped Crusader: Hey, lady with the Batman outfit on last weekend in Rayne’s Park. All that black leather and lycra got my Robin a-throbbin. What else have you got in your utility belt? A thorny bush: Rosebud, I’m tired in the day, then when I lay in bed I’m wide awake again, because all I can think of is you. I am the prick to your stem. Come back.

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Dear beautiful: When you read this, it’ll only be four more days ‘til you land in the best country of all (Australia). Bet you can’t wait to rock out to the tunes at the old-times dances in Picola! Miss you heaps and don’t go away for this long again :) Love Ruth. xxx P.S Don’t sook about the snakes and the spiders. Man In The Mirror: Michael Jackson, where are you? I saw you at a house party on First Ave in Acton on Saturday 29th and knew you’d be a Thriller. When I came over to talk to you, you didn’t tell me to Beat It so we moonwalked our way to your bedroom where you Rocked My World. I still Remember The Time and was hoping we could do it again, because I liked The Way You Make Me Feel. Get in touch through TNT if you wanna be Bad one more time. CL. What is thy bidding, my master?: Hey Darth Vader. I met you last week at the Star Wars convention – oops, I mean at the Halloween Weekender in east London. You slipped me your lightsabre and made me go all Chewbacca-like. I certainly felt “THE FORCE“ that night Princess Laid. Sully-Well: It was a short but oh-so-sweet stay at the Dordrecht Hotel. You’re giving up the darkest and most miserable winter to head back to sunny Perth. Well, we don’t blame ya. We will miss the smell of omelette in the mornings, your presence at Thursday Chatty nights, your spew-cough, and your lack


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