Today's Family October-November 2011 by Today's Transitions

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Volume 20 • Number 6 PUBLISHER

Cathy S. Zion

october november 2011

publisher@todayspublications.com EDITOR

Anita Oldham

editor@todayspublications.com ASSISTANT EDITOR

Elaine Rooker Jack

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cheryl@todayspublications.com account executives

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Melissa Donald

EDITORIAL INTERN

30 Take a Trip

On the Cover

Babysitting Exchanges — Your House or Mine?

Your Child’s Health

By Sandi Haustein

12 Pediatric Health Care Goes High-Tech By Stacie L. Martin

16 5 Surprisingly Germy Things You’ll Touch Today By Gina Roberts-Grey

By Kelly Watkins

34 Celebrate: Party Places 36 A New Mother’s Story: Part 6 in a series

By Yelena Sapin

GRAPHICS INTERN

Jessi Winner

Published bi-monthly by: Zion Publications LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone (502) 327-8855 Fax (502) 327-8861 www.todaysfamilymag.com www.facebook.com/todaysfamily

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38 Calendar 40 Inside the Playgroup By Carrie Vittitoe

6 20 You have Choices

Kim Kerby

kim@todayspublications.com

Today’s Family magazine is published bi-monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 33,000. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Family magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2011 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC. MEMBER Greater Louisville, Inc., Metro Chamber of Commerce, Area Chambers of Commerce, Better Business Bureau.

22 Dr. Yes! By Nadyne Lee

26 How to Keep Our Children in the Game By Yelena Sapin

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Babysitting Exchanges — Your House or Mine? By Sandi Haustein

ou and your spouse finally agree on a movie you want to see. You find a free weekend night on your calendar. You call up your qualified, reliable, affordable babysitter. Wait…what? Qualified and reliable and affordable? If you’re anything like Lori Huffman, a mother of four in Crestwood, you know “It’s hard to find a good, experienced babysitter who’s old enough to trust and not too expensive.” If, like Lori, the headache of finding a good sitter keeps you from getting out more often, maybe your family could benefit from one of these four types of babysitting exchanges.

The One-on-One Exchange Trading babysitting with another parent is the simplest type of exchange. You ask a neighbor if your kids can come play while you run to an appointment and then reciprocate when she’s in need. Two stay-at-home moms might take turns watching each other’s kids on Tuesdays so each gets a morning to herself. Scheduling date nights becomes easy when you switch babysitting with another couple twice a month. Jill Savage, the CEO of Hearts at Home, (www.hearts-at-home.org) knows two single moms who trade babysitting once a month. One mom keeps the other’s kids from Friday evening to Saturday afternoon, and the next month she takes her break. With a one-on-one exchange, the options are limitless.

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The Four-Family Date Swap My friend Kristin O’Quinn, a mother of three boys, borrowed this idea of a four-family babysitting exchange from a friend at church. Once a year, four families sit down together and schedule one babysitting night a month in their calendars. The families rotate houses, and two couples stay with the children while the other two enjoy their night of free babysitting. The rules are straightforward: the kids have to be fed before they come, and the parents have to be prompt in picking them up. They follow a simple schedule so that the kids (and parents) know what to expect each time: free play, craft, make a snack, and popcorn and a movie. Without relatives in town, Kristin feels the four families in her exchange are especially committed to the project. This swap could easily be adapted for fewer families or for a group of stay-at-home moms who need babysitting but also want to benefit from time with friends. The Three-Week Group Exchange Stephanie Trenaman and her husband, Mason, organized a three-week babysitting exchange for 15 young families at their church — Westport Road Church of Christ in St. Matthews — last summer. A co-op like the Trenamans’ works best for large groups who prefer using a central location instead of individual homes. Each couple works one week as sitters, and, in exchange, they can use the free babysitting the other two weeks. To organize a similar program, pick three dates and recruit families by e-mail or through an announcement in an organization’s newsletter. Divide the group into three and ask each committed couple to babysit one of the dates. If you choose to feed the children, get a head count, and keep it simple with chicken nuggets or pizza, fruit, and a cookie. Break the time into 30-minute segments and pick fun activities for each block of time: games, free play, storybook time, music, dinner, a short movie, or a craft. Stephanie suggests beginning your evening with high-energy activities and moving into slower-paced activities as bedtime gets closer. A three-week exchange is a great way for a big group of parents to get to know each other and to enjoy some stress-free babysitting. The Ongoing Babysitting Co-op Being new to town and having a husband who traveled frequently, Janie Werner feels blessed by the quality, affordable childcare she received during the years she participated in the St. Albert Babysitting Co-op (now defunct). In a babysitting co-op, parents earn points based on the hours they watch other members’ children, and they redeem points when others babysit for them. Some groups appoint a secretary who keeps track of each member’s hours while others trade co-op coupons or poker chips. Janie feels like geography is a key to success for co-ops: if members live within a welldefined area, they are more likely to use each other’s services. She also suggests capping the babysitting hours that a person can use before working them off so that no one takes advantage of the system. If you are interested in starting your own co-op, visit www.sittingaround.com, a website that helps parents set up and organize their own groups. Why not ask your friends if they’re also looking for alternatives to traditional babysitting? When you swap babysitting with another parent, it’s a win-win situation: your children get to play with their friends, you can have confidence that they are in good hands, and it’s free. With these four types of exchanges in your toolbox, you are well on your way to finding truly reliable and affordable babysitters.

$10 Dates in Louisville

Carving out time for each other is a real challenge for parents. Changing diapers, soccer games, and the day-to-day busyness of life often crowd date nights right off the calendar. For many, the cost of dinner and a movie and a babysitter makes going out together seem impossible. When my husband and I were newlyweds, we didn’t have much money, but we wanted to schedule regular dates together. We budgeted $10 for every Friday night out, and over the years, $10 dates became second nature to us. If you’re looking for inexpensive quality time together, try one of our $10 date ideas. • Split a meal at a restaurant that serves large portions like J. Gumbo’s, El Nopal, or even Havana Rumba. (Just remember to still tip well.) • Order your favorite drinks at a coffee shop or Barnes and Noble and play a board game or cards together. Some shops, like Old Louisville Coffeehouse, have live music, too. • Catch a movie at Village 8 Theatre at only $5 a person for first-run independent movies, $4 for regular films, $3 for matinees, and only $2 on Tuesdays. • Take a free ride on the First Friday Trolley Hop and order an appetizer or dessert at one of the trendy downtown restaurants. • Pack up a $5 Subway footlong, some chips, and a couple of drinks and hike to Iroquois Park’s overlook view of Louisville or take a walk at Waterfront Park. • Visit the Science Museum (or see an IMAX movie) for only $5 a person after 5 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights or walk through the Speed Art Museum for free. • Splurge on the Louisville Entertainment book (www.entertainment. com) — it quickly pays for itself with all of the Buy One Get One coupons inside. — Sandi Haustein

Sandi Haustein lives in Crestwood, Ky., with her husband and three sons, ages 7, 5, and 3. She is a frequent contributor to Today’s Family magazine.

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Investing in the Right Babysitter My “baby” just turned 9. Even when his siblings lived at home, I was leery of forcing them to watch their younger sibling because it can cause resentfulness. My daughter said to me at one point, “He is not my child, he is yours.” The point was well taken. I work full time, and I also have plenty of things I like to do outside of work. This necessitates the services of a good, trustworthy, dependable babysitter. I value good help and have great expectations when it comes to my kids. Therefore, I want a babysitter that excites my son when he/she arrives, is willing to do all the activities and play all of the games that he likes, and who is responsible, caring, and kind. I have found that a key factor in choosing the right “play partner,” for my son is experience and knowledge of the young person’s parents and family. What do his or her parents expect? Does he or she “hang out” with kids who achieve and succeed? Does he or she have a good reputation in the neighborhood and school? Kids raised with high expectations tend to make great babysitters. Next I have a few trial runs with the new “play partner:” short visits when I am not far away. Then I listen to what my child has to say about the experience. Was it fun? Did they do constructive activities while I was away? When we moved to a new neighborhood in March, I made it a priority to connect with the parents of teenage kids who live close by. I asked around about babysitters and I let it be known that I pay $8-$10 an hour for a responsible young person to watch and be a “play partner” for my child. I believe the pay has to be good to attract the best caregivers. I feel blessed to have found four dedicated young men — in grades 8 through 10 — to influence, entertain, and most importantly show my son examples of goodness and kindness.

Lowering The Bar on Babysitters I will never forget the first time my wife and I stepped out and left our first child at home with a babysitter. After several months of monitoring every breath little Mary took, we came to the exhausting conclusion it was time to take a break. We finally gave in to the urgings of loved ones and decided to take in dinner and a movie. Of course the thought of this terrified us. Who could possibly be qualified to take care of our newfound bundle of joy? We tapped my niece Brooke for the job. With her squeakyclean record and strong work ethic, we felt we couldn’t go wrong. After all, she was considering joining the F.B.I. Academy and was preparing for extensive background checks. Someone the F.B.I. said was clean sounded like a good babysitter to us. Of course it took an hour to get off our porch, throwing one insecure question after the other, and this was probably worse than any interrogation she might face with Federal Law Enforcement Officials. I am sure we

When Anna, our middle child, was born we weren’t quite so bad. We briefly entertained worry, but we started to notice that we were catching what the movie was about. We also seemed to make it through dinner without co nstantly checking the Nanny Cams via remote that we had installed all over the house. With our third and youngest child Emily, we’ve changed our tune altogether. This time around we’re just so grateful to have someone show up for the triple chaos we usually just skip out the door before the babysitter realizes what she’s gotten into. Funny how we always forget our cell phones these days. — John G. Warren

Parent Perspectives— Adventures in Babysitting

Admit it! It’s Just an Excuse When was the last time you were away from your children to do something fun? Think about it. Can’t remember? It’s easy to fall into a lifestyle that revolves around your children and feel guilty about planning time for yourself. We’ve all heard the excuses. Admit it; we’ve made the excuses too. Don’t let these excuses cloud your mind to the point that you actually believe them! The “I can’t find a sitter” excuse: You are entitled to time out with

— Stacy Westray Tackett

woke up the baby with the barrage of phone calls we made to her before we made it out of our neighborhood. I believe our questioning ruined Brooke’s interest in the F.B.I. and she became a special education teacher instead.

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other adults, whether it is your spouse, significant other, or friends. You can and you will find a sitter. Network with neighbors and other parents to find a babysitter to suit your needs, or contact a youth minister at a local church or the school guidance department to see if there are reliable teens looking to make a little extra money. Adult-only time revitalizes your parenting skills, and it is healthy for your children to spend time with a sitter and know, yes, you are coming back. The energy you put into finding a sitter will come back ten-fold after your quality “me” time! The “money” excuse: Convert this excuse into inspiration for creativity. You don’t have to spend money to go on a date or catch up with a good friend. Start swapping babysitting with another family; both parents can get out and you haven’t spent a penny on a babysitter! Visit a local park and picnic instead of dining out. It’s about the quality time together, not the dinner tab.

Oscar Wilde once said “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” You will feel just as recharged after meaningful conversation during a stroll through Waterfront Park as you would after a romantic dinner at Vincenzo’s. The “I don’t have time” excuse: Make time! Re-evaluate your schedule and plan ahead. If you look forward a month, you can find a night on your calendar and write “ME” in permanent ink and start planning your evening out. You can’t erase it! Plan around it; don’t let your children’s calendar get ahead of you and make you believe you don’t have time for yourself. Convinced? Get your calendar right now and pick a night a few weeks from today. Let your mind start spinning with all of the exciting new date night options you can come up with! Your children will enjoy playing games with the new sitter, and you can scour the internet for inexpensive date ideas. Be sure to mark that calendar in pen! — Stephanie White t o d a y ’ s

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Your Child’s Health: TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES IN pediatric health care

Pediatric Health Care Goes

High-Tech By Stacie L. Martin

hen my first child was born nearly 13 years ago, I knew my mom would be there to give me advice for all the ‘firsts’ that come along with being a new parent: the first time taking a rectal temperature, first stomach flu, first bump to the noggin! After all, Mom had raised my brother and me,

and we seemed to turn out ok. But I soon learned that recommendations for today’s parents have changed significantly over the years: babies now sleep on their backs instead of their bellies, I’m not sure you can even buy baby aspirin anymore, and the days of kids riding unrestrained in the backseat of the car are long gone. But even in only 13 years as a parent, I’ve seen vast changes in technology. These changes affect every aspect of our lives now, including health care. So what are some new and upcoming trends in pediatric health care? I asked around the Louisville area to find out.

Medical Records Everywhere

There’s a changeover from traditional, paper-based medical records to electronic medical records. EMR allows a patient’s medical records to be accessible at the touch of a keypad. According to a 2009 survey by The National Center for Health Statistics, 48.3 percent of U.S. physicians reported using all or partial EMR in their practices. EMR allows for faster service at your pediatrician’s office and the ability to pull up lab reports and test results in the exam room. It reduces the risk of harm to your child because of illegible doctor’s notes and possible prescription mix-ups. But it is also potentially life saving in an emergency where information such as blood type, pre-existing conditions, and medication histories are vital.

Communicate Online

Many pediatricians now have websites which introduce patients and their parents to the doctors, display office policies, and offer printable forms for quicker continued on page 14 A change from traditional, paper-based medical records like these on the left to electronic medical records allows for faster service at your pediatrician’s office and the ability to pull up lab reports and test results in the exam room.

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check-in. Some pediatricians have gone one step further by creating Facebook pages and Twitter accounts to keep patients up to date on current health care recommendations and to offer educational tips. Dr. Amy Garlove of Children’s Health Pediatrics in St. Matthews initially wanted to use her office’s website to update patients quickly, particularly for availability of flu vaccines which can change dramatically throughout the day. However, the web designers suggested using Facebook and Twitter which can be updated more quickly and easily. Dr. Garlove says her younger parents love it. In her case, it was especially helpful one day when a parent texted the office to inform them that the office phones were down! Dr. Mary Lynn Bundy at Dr. Bundy & Associates LLC Pediatrics in New Albany also uses Facebook to share book recommendations, interesting links, and health information. Dr. Bundy

invites parents and kids to brag about accomplishments and achievements on the site, allowing kids to act as role models for other kids. It also

gives parents an opportunity to share insights and tips they have learned or ask for recommendations from other parents. “Plus,” says Dr. Bundy, “it makes it fun!” But Dr. Jeff Wampler of All Children Pediatrics in Middletown warns that parents should be careful to get medical information only from reputable websites. He cautions that there is almost too much information online which can get people into trouble instead of helping. And not everyone has computer access. Internet service is not always dependable. Grandparents and older parents are not as comfortable using the computer as younger parents.

Bedside Manners Include Videos

Dr. Ben Greenberg, pediatric anesthesiologist at Norton Kosair Children’s Hospital, regularly uses his iPhone as a part of his pre-anesthesia routine. Dr. Greenberg explains that children are usually anxious before surgery or a procedure. He asks children about their favorite video game, movie or TV show, then pulls it up on his iPhone. Within minutes they are engrossed and their worries are forgotten. Dr. Greenberg had

a patient recently who loved a particular Animal Planet show; she was delighted when he was able to pull up an episode on his iPhone so she could watch it while getting ready for surgery!

The Child Life Department at Norton Kosair Children’s Hospital also routinely uses newer technology in making patients more comfortable and at ease. iPads are used before medical procedures to teach children what to expect and lessen anxiety. In the past, staff used bulky binders with lots of pages to show children what to expect; today, it is all contained on an interactive iPad. Once the procedure begins, the iPads continue to be used to provide distraction, keeping children’s minds off of the medical procedure taking place. 14

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If a child is admitted to the hospital, Kosair provides mobile video game systems which can be moved from room to room to keep kids busy while recuperating. Wellwishers can log-on to Kosair’s website to send electronic e-cards to cheer up kids who are inpatients. Child Life Specialist Lindsay McDaniel says that hopefully in the future, iPads loaded with Skype or FaceTime will be used to connect children who are in the hospital with friends and family outside the hospital.

Finding Care in Other Places

Technology is not the only thing changing in health care. Today’s parents are busier than ever, juggling work, family, and extra-curricular activities in what seems like a never-ending cycle. How many times have you heard another parent (or said under your own breath) that just a few more hours in the day would be nice? In response to this, alternatives to a traditional pediatric office are popping up. Places such as Pediatric Acute Care and The Norton Pediatric Afterhours Program allow parents access to expert pediatric care outside of normal business hours without a trip to the emergency room. The Little Clinic, located in several local Kroger stores, and Walgreens’ TakeCare Clinics are open seven days a week and offer clinics staffed by Board Certified nurse practitioners and physician’s assistants with no appointment necessary. Clinics offer sports physicals and medical care for minor injuries and common illnesses and are covered by many insurance plans. Pharmacies are also catering to busy parents.

Many local pharmacies now offer online prescription refills, automatic refill for ongoing prescriptions, and text alerts for prescriptions ready for pick-up. Most pharmacy websites offer information

such as drug interactions, information about specific medications, and opportunities to ask questions of the pharmacists. And, here’s a quick tip for frazzled parents: did you know that most local pharmacies can add your child’s favorite flavor to his or her liquid medicines? That alone could save thirty minutes of fighting with a sick, cranky child! As our world continues to change, and technology becomes increasingly interactive, pediatricians and pediatric facilities will continue to provide the highest level of care to their young patients and keep the lines of communication open with their parents. And, eventually, when my children have children, I’ll have to learn all the ‘new’ rules. And I bet I’ll sound just like my mother when I say, “Well, that’s not how it was done when I was raising you!” Stacie L. Martin lives in Mt. Washington with Taelor (12) and Andrew (10). She is a frequent contributor to Today’s Family magazine. t o d a y ’ s

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Your Child’s Health: avoiding germs

5Surprisingly Germy

Things You’ll Touch Today Your Purse

By Gina Roberts-Grey

ure, you suspect the toilet handle in a public restroom, or the shopping cart in your local grocery store, to be breeding grounds for bacteria and gross germs. But your purse? Or even worse, your romaine lettuce? It turns out some of the things at your kid’s school or lying around your refrigerator are as much as 16,000 times germier than the shopping cart handle. And guess what? A public toilet in the women’s room is cleaner than all these things, too.

When they were tested for germs, Stuart Reeves, Ph.D., director of research and development for Embria Health Sciences and author of “The Key to a Healthy Immune System,” says the bottoms of women’s purses had bacteria counts in the tens of thousands per square inch — including several (pseudomona, staphylococccus aureus) species of bacteria that can cause staph and other infections. Salmonella and E. coli, the causes of food poisoning, as well as fecal matter are also common residents on the bottom of bags. “Four out of five purses tested positive for salmonella,” he says. Reeves speculates this is because women set their purses down on germy things like movie theatre or public restroom floors.

Clean it up: Reeves suggests keeping a

pack of antibacterial wipes in your purse to give the bottom of your bag a good cleaning — preferably once a day. Even better, keep your cleaned purse on your shoulder or lap, not the floor! And since leather and vinyl purses are easier to wipe off — thus reducing the number of germs that’ll stick on them — Reeves suggests ditching cloth purses. continued on page 18

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The Classroom Faucet

It’s there so your kids can clean up after art class, but according to NSF International Swab Testing, the average classroom faucet handle has about 32,000 colony-forming germ units per square inch. A grocery store shopping cart only has 2! One reason for all the germs: kids cough and sneeze into their hands (instead of their elbow) and wipe runny noses with their hands, too.

Clean it up: A good scrub will knock out any germs your kids might touch turning on the faucet. But to keep their hands from getting plagued with bacteria shutting off the faucet, teach them to use a piece of paper towel to shut the water off after washing little hands.

4 Your Dashboard

Soap Dispensers

Famed microbiologist Charles Gerba of the University of Arizona, whose nickname is “Dr. Germ,” and a team of researchers found infection-causing bacteria was present on 23 percent of public and restaurant restroom refillable soap dispensers. Sure, most of those germs might wash off when you wash, but if you happen to have a paper cut on your hand and touch the germy soap dispenser, that could leave you at risk for a host of infections.

Clean it up: Unless the soap dispenser is hands-free,

you’re better off using the hand sanitizer you’ve stashed in your purse (the one you keep off the floor). And once your hands are clean, don’t forget to use a paper towel to turn off a faucet that’s not hands-free since like the ones in a classroom, it’s covered with germs, too.

Fresh Produce

Your veggies and herbs look fresh and hydrated thanks to the misters in the grocery store produce department. But Reeves says those irrigation spouts are often filled with dirt and bacteria. And since the organic produce is sprayed with the same system, your organic broccoli is getting a bacteria bath every 10 minutes. One of the causes for all the germs is recycling. “Many of these systems recycle the water so the bacteria is continually sprayed,” says Reeves. Got asthma? He says anyone with respiratory conditions should avoid the area when those misters turn on. “Having asthma or respiratory illness makes a person more susceptible to developing colds or illness after breathing in the bacteria-laden mist,” Reeves adds.

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Gerba also conducted a study of cars in the US and found cars in hot and humid climates have dashboards that are home to large amounts of bacteria. The dashboards of cars in areas where the mercury dips below 32 degrees on a regular basis (the Northern half of the US) were dominated by yeasts and molds — which love the cooler climate. Gerba says the dashboard can hold onto millions of germs for a long time because a car’s air circulation system drives air over the dashboard so the germs are free to breed undisturbed.

Clean it up: Use an antibacterial wipe to clean your car’s dash at least once a week. And make sure to clean things like the radio’s buttons, turn signal and headlight on/off switch. Germs live there, too.

Clean it up: Don’t leave your produce in the store-provided plastic bags you used to tote them up to the check-out lane. At home, wash — and pat dry — all produce before eating or putting it in your fridge. t o d a y ’ s

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Your Child’s Health: AN EMERGENCY TRIP TO THE DOCTOR Is it after regular doctor’s business hours? Are you pretty sure it’s strep? THEN,

You have choices By Yelena Sapin

everal years ago, as I was getting the house ready the day before Thanksgiving, I noticed that my younger daughter’s cheeks looked strangely flushed. Summing up her symp-

toms – low-grade fever, beet-red cheeks, sore throat – I feared it could be strep. Would my older daughter get it too? And what about the little cousins who would be coming over the next day? If I got her started on antibiotics right away, I might still save Thanksgiving, I thought. But the doctor’s office was already closed. It seems to be a Murphy’s Law of parenting that illnesses and medical emergencies happen when our doctors are not available. But we do have other choices when waiting it out is not an option.

Retail Health Clinics

The walk-in clinics at many Kroger, Walgreens, and Walmart stores are staffed by nurse practitioners or physician assistants and are open seven days a week and weeknights. Licensed to see patients aged 24 months and older in Kentucky (18 months and older in other states), they offer vaccinations and flu shots, provide school and sports physicals, and treat minor injuries and illnesses such as cuts and scrapes, ear aches, sore throats, coughs, fevers, rashes, and stomach upsets. The clinics accept most health insurance plans, and the copays are the same as for a regular doctor’s office visit. Out-of-pocket costs for treatment of common illnesses typically start at around $69 to $79, depending on the service. Exact locations, hours, and a 20 O c t o b e r / N o v e m b e r 2

list of services and fees for the different clinics can be found online, and the Take Care Clinic at Walgreens even posts wait times for all its branches on its website – a useful feature when time is really tight. To maintain continuity of care, you should always follow up with your child’s doctor and pass along the information from the clinic about the diagnosis and treatment given. The clinics are intended to serve as a convenient complement to primary care providers, says Jennifer Martin, spokesperson for The Little Clinic at Kroger, and are not meant to replace regular doctor’s visits.

Urgent Care Centers

With physicians on staff and equipped to do lab work, X-rays, and minor surgical procedures, urgent care or immediate care centers are a step above the retail clinics. Besides being able to provide the same basic services as the clinics, they can also treat animal bites, cuts and lacerations, broken bones, and sprains and strains. Urgent care center hours vary by location, but they’re usually open every day and weeknights, except Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most major insurance plans are accepted, but higher copays may apply depending on your policy.

Emergency Rooms

When everywhere else is closed, or when your child needs medical attention beyond the scope of clinics and immediate care centers, hospital emergency rooms are always open and staffed with speciallytrained physicians and nurses. Health insurance copays can be rather high, however, and the wait times lengthy if it’s not a true emergency. To help patients make an informed decision on where to go in nonlife threatening situations, Jewish Hospital and St. Mary’s HealthCare (JHSMH) posts waiting times for their ERs online at www. jhsmh.org or you can text ERWAIT to 511511. Updated every 15 minutes, the wait times are approximate, explains the JHSMH marketing department, and not a guarantee of how long you’ll actually have 0 1 1

to wait since priority of care is always given to those who need it most.

How to Choose

Most of us will recognize a true medical emergency and not hesitate to call 911 or head for the nearest hospital. But what about those questionable rashes, fevers, aches, and pains? Call your physician, reminds my internist, Priya Balakrishna, M.D. of Greater Louisville Internal Medicine. Doctors have an on-call service after hours, so you can always talk to a doctor who may be able to guide you as to what to do. Many health insurance companies also have a number you can call to speak to their nurse practitioner, who can advise you based on your child’s symptoms. It also helps to understand your health insurance coverage and the medical provider options in your community. “You don’t want to have a hurt thumb and end up sitting in an emergency room and paying hundreds of dollars for it,” says Balakrishna, “when there are other places you can go.” Wherever you end up going, however, doctors stress the importance of maintaining a medical home, especially for children. Your child may be diagnosed with something that ties into a previous condition or can have an impact in the future, so it’s important to make sure that all information gets passed on to your primary care doctor. Come to think of it, I did forget to tell my daughter’s doctor about that Thanksgiving rash episode several years ago! I ended up taking her to an urgent care center, where the physician on duty promptly diagnosed her with a case of Fifth disease, and not strep. Since she was no longer contagious, Thanksgiving went on as planned, and I was glad not to have to worry about those rosy cheeks anymore. Another crisis averted. Yelena Sapin lives in Goshen with her husband Alex and daughters Zoe (15) and Emma (11 in November). She is a frequent contributor for Today’s Family magazine. t o d a y ’ s

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Your Child’s Health: FINDING THE RIGHT PEDIATRICIAN

Dr. Yes!

Make the right choice now and your child can grow up with a doctor she — and you — trust By NADYNE LEE

ou’re expecting a baby and there are so many things to think about.

You’ve already purchased the best stroller on the market and the safest car seat in Consumer Reports. Your nursery is completely furnished and the layette stocked with the cutest baby clothes that money can buy. But shopping for a pediatrician is not as easy as finding a cuddly teddy bear or choosing a cute pair of booties. After all, your baby will soon outgrow her booties, but if you choose well, your pediatrician may be with you and your family for years to come.

PLAN A: How to find a Great Pediatrician

1. Ask yourself some questions: Do you want a pediatrician who is fresh out of residency or one who has years of experience? Do you want a doctor who has children? A man or woman? What personality type grates on your nerves? What kind of personality do you need in times of crisis? 2. Ask other parents for recommendations. One of the best sources of recommendations comes from parents who are in the medical profession. They are “insiders” and they know the pediatricians who are excellent diagnosticians as well as those who have good bedside manners. 3. Make sure that your choice is board-certified by the American Academy of Pediatrics. continued on page 24

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4. Call the pediatrician’s office and make an appointment for an interview. Some pediatric practices offer a short appointment for potential patients so that they can ask questions and get to know the physician and the practice. 5. When you call for the appointment, notice if the receptionist speaks with a smile in her voice. If she is grumpy, her attitude probably reflects the mood of the entire staff. Be wary if she’s cranky. If the receptionist passes the “happy face” test, schedule a 15-minute interview with the pediatrician. 6. When visiting the clinic, take stock of the waiting room. A good waiting room will have toys provided for children, educational television, child-friendly space, and separate waiting rooms for sick patients and well patients coming for regular checkups. Talk with parents in the waiting room. How do they like the doctors in the practice? Questions to Ask in the Interview 1. What is the average wait time? You will get a feel for this as you wait to see the pediatrician. Most clinics try not to keep patients waiting longer than 20 minutes. (Word to the wise: When you are making an appointment for your child, try to get the earliest appointment in the morning, or the first appointment after lunch. During each of those times you’ll avoid a backed up group of patients and you have a better chance of spending less time in the waiting room.) 2. What is the best way to communicate with the doctor or the nurse — and receive a timely response? Does the doctor provide an emergency telephone number? A pager number? Is there a message center that will relay urgent messages quickly? Is there always a physician or nurse practitioner from the practice on-call? (Word to the wise: A pediatrician or associate who cannot be reached after hours should not be your child’s doctor!) 3. What is the doctor’s view on issues such as breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding? You may not have made up your mind yet, but that’s not the point. Right now, you are just testing the doctor’s style of communication. Is it pleasant or dogmatic? 4. Can the family choose the doctor that they want to see? Many practices have a policy of allowing patients to choose which doctor they want for regular appointments. However, in 24

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these practices doctors take calls for each other when on vacation or when off duty. 5. Any other questions you may have. Make a list before you arrive. It’s very easy to forget when you’re in the doctor’s office. After receiving referrals and conducting interviews, you will find a pediatrician with whom you feel comfortable.

PLAN B: When to Fire your Pediatrician

Okay, you did your homework. You thought your choice was a perfect A+. But, when the going got tough, the doctor failed the test. What are red flags to look for that warn you that it’s time to dump your doctor? 1. Don’t Accept a Condescending Attitude. When Terri Thomas was expressing concern about her child’s illness, the doctor minimized the situation. Terri pressed on. Finally, he interrupted her. “Look, I’m the one who’s been to medical school. You haven’t!” The doctor put an abrupt end to the debate and to the doctor-patient relationship. Little did he know that Terri would not tolerate his condescending attitude. And neither should you! 2. The Doctor is Always Rushed. Do you ever get the feeling that your doctor’s mind is cluttered with matters other than you? Is your pediatrician in a hurry to get out of the room? Is her hand like Velcro on the doorknob before she answers your first question? You have hired your pediatrician to provide you with knowledge about your child and to give your child good medical care. Parents go to pediatricians in search of answers. Questions and answers take time. If your pediatrician can’t give you the time it takes to meet your needs, find someone who can. 3. Bad Medicine. If a pediatrician treats your child’s virus with an antibiotic, it is probably because that doctor doesn’t want to spend the time necessary to educate you about the fact that antibiotics are ineffective against viruses. In fact, the inappropriate overuse of antibiotics has led to the evolution of super-germs. Not only is this a lazy physician, but this doctor is loading nature’s arsenal with life-threatening bacteria. 4. Unavailability. If you cannot get in touch with your pediatrician (or an associate) either by phone, pager, text, or email and if your pediatrician has no coverage after hours or while on vacation you MUST look for another practice. 5. A doctor who is sexually inappropriate with you or with your child should be dismissed immediately. The behavior should be reported to the State Medical Licenser Board.

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Your Child’s Health: Preventing Sports Injuries

How to Keep Our Children in the Game By Yelena Sapin

etting involved in sports is a great way for kids to stay active, participate in the community, learn discipline, and have fun. It’s also a great way for them to get injured. Bumps, bruises, and the occasional cuts and scrapes come with the territory whenever kids get together and play. Throw into the mix competition, speed, equipment, and the confined space of the gym or playing field, and odds are good that someone will get hurt. The physical and competitive aspects of organized sports place great demands on the developing bodies of young athletes, but with a little preparation parents can help kids play it safe.

Take It Easy

Chris Thompson, Exercise Physiologist and Program Director at Louisville’s Heuser Clinic, believes that kids should try a number of different sports and activities to help them learn to use their bodies and become stronger athletes overall. Younger kids can get an introduction to physical activity with something like gymnastics; besides being great fun for 3- to 5-year-olds, it works all the major muscle groups and helps develop coordination and agility. Older kids can try the different seasonal sports to mix things up, and then begin to specialize once they reach high school and are better prepared both mentally and physically for the rigors of a single sport. Whatever kids end up doing, it’s important to ease them into it before the season starts. “If your kid joins the cross country team and he’s never even run a mile before,” says continued on page 28

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Today’s Family Wellness Advisory Group Sounds Off: Q: Do you have any opinions

overall on the amount of sports children should be playing? Does it make a difference how much they play at a certain age?

GREENWELL

“Physical activity is very important. Children should do activities that they have the coordination to accomplish safely. Team sports teach children to work with others to accomplish goals. Parents need to keep things relaxed and fun for the children, no pressure to perform or score.” — ANN GREENWELL, Pediatric Dental Residency Program Director, University of Louisville School of Dentistry “I think kids today start out playing one sport at an early age and get burned out or injured by the time they get to high school.” — RHONDA BREISCHAFT, mom

BREISCHAFT

CASTLE

CAROTHERS

boel

“I think children should not be overscheduled with any sport activity. Children need to develop emotionally and intellectually, and that cannot happen when they are being over-scheduled with any one activity. Children can start playing sports at any age when the child feels he or she is ready and the activity is within that child’s capabilities.” — AMANDA CASTLE, Registered Nurse, Rescare Homecare ”Two sports can be enough, but it really depends on the amount a child commits to the activity. The biggest problem I see is too much repetitive action which causes overuse injuries. Younger children do not have the build, coordination, or stamina to play all sports at all ages. At younger ages, the focus should be on fun, coordination, and the rules of the game. As children get older, practice time can slowly increase as long as it doesn’t interfere with sleep, school, or free play.” — BECKY CAROTHERS, Pediatrician, UofL Pediatrics Children & Youth Clinic “Certain sports that more heavily affect joints or cause potential injury are best started at an older age and at a less competitive level.” — KLAUS BOEL, Pediatrician, Jeffersonville Pediatrics

Advisory group members are: Klaus Boel, MD, FAAP; Rhonda Breischaft; Erin Brown; Becky Carothers, MD; Amanda Castle, RN; Carrie Crigger, DO; Dr. Bradley Goldberg; Ann Greenwell, DMD, MSD; Korie Acord, DMD; Stacie Martin; Lisa Mascio-Thompson; Veda McClain; Lorie Minnich, RN; Abigail Mueller; Dr. Mark Perelmuter; Ursula Robertson-Moore; Yelena Sapin; Jeb Teichman, MD, FAAP; Jeanine Triplett

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Thompson, “going out and running three miles on the first practice will cause a lot of pain, a lot of injuries, and not a lot of fun.” Parents need to learn about the physical requirements of the sport ahead of time, and then take steps to get their child ready to participate safely.

Use the Right Equipment

Julie Snowden, licensed physical therapist and owner of Advanced Orthopaedic Physical Therapy in Louisville, finds that parents are pretty good about supplying their kids with properly fitting helmets and protective gear for the major contact sports. But many parents overlook the importance of calibrating other sports equipment and making sure it’s in good shape, she says. Tennis rackets and hockey and lacrosse sticks, for example, need to be the right size. And seemingly small details — like how tightly or loosely the strings are strung on a tennis racket — can make a huge difference in terms of injuries to the elbow, wrist, or shoulder. Mouthpieces need to fit well and cover the teeth properly. Snowden finds that kids who balk at traditional mouthpieces do better with hinged ones, which allow kids to open their mouths to breathe. But perhaps the most important component of sports safety is good footwear. Matching the foot arch height to the proper shoe can minimize pain and injury by keeping the body in alignment. Cleats come with no arch support, so Snowden recommends using inserts, over-the-counter or custom-made orthotics. Staff at the better sporting shoe stores is usually knowledgeable enough to point parents in the right direction.

Practice Good Habits

It’s important that kids eat well and get plenty of rest to prevent fatigue-induced injuries. Another must is hydration, not only during the activity, but well in advance. Water is best, flavored with a little juice if needed, says Snowden, but plain or chocolate milk can also be a great replenisher. “For younger kids, making it interesting by letting them drink through a fun straw gets them to drink much more than just handing them a bottle of water,” she advises. And it’s imperative to get the body warm and the blood circulating before any activity, tailoring the warm-up and stretching routine to the sport. Maintaining strength and muscle balance helps reduce the risk of overuse injuries, particularly in sports with repetitive motions. Thompson suggests strengthening large muscle groups by incorporating lunges, squats, planks, push-ups, and dips into the warm-up routine. One-leg hops in different directions are great for strengthening the ankles. For girls, who are more prone to knee injuries because of a wider pelvis, it helps to strengthen the legs and have a knowledgeable coach or fitness professional teach them how to land a jump in a more aligned position. During the off-season, says Snowden, cross-training on the elliptical or bike gives a great aerobic workout that’s easier on the joints, while yoga and Pilates really work the core and entire body.

Communicate

Despite all efforts, injuries will sometimes happen. Parents should have their doctor’s and dentist’s phone numbers programmed into their phones in case of medical or dental trauma and seek proper emergency care as needed. For minor pains and strains that don’t require immediate medical attention, Snowden recommends treating at home with ice and watching the area. Swelling should be treated with rest, ice, compression, and elevation (you can remember that with the acronym “RICE”). Kids want to play, and parents want to see them play, but it’s important that parents let coaches know what’s going on and allow the kid to take it easy or sit out if needed. Working with the coaches, getting timely and proper care, and encouraging older teens to do the same, can keep a minor injury from becoming a major one that permanently knocks an athlete out of the game. to d a y ’ s

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By Ethan Worrall, age 12

Child’s Eye View

When I went go-karting, at first I was really nervous. I was afraid I was going to hit something or someone, do something wrong, or unintentionally disobey one of the rules. After a lap or two, I forgot all about my fears. I was having fun. The ride was eight minutes of exhilaration. It was fast, and I loved it. I can tell you that my first time on a train was probably a little different from yours because my train was full of desserts. They were scrumptious. Halfway through the ride we entered Indiana’s second longest railroad tunnel. It was cool because we spent three minutes in the dark. Don’t worry. It was only dark on the outside. Inside the train, the lights kept it bright. The seats were comfortable, and I enjoyed every minute of the ride.

Take a Trip

By Kelly Watkins

Relaxing & Rejuvenating IN FRENCH LICK, INDIANA

hen I went in search of a restful weekend getaway recently, I discovered that “relaxing” was defined quite differently for each member of my family. How was I going to please everyone? Thank you, French Lick Resort, for rescuing me (888.936.9360 or www.FrenchLick.com).

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My idea of perfect relaxation is going to a spa. The soft robe. The Tranquility Room. The soothing music. The hushed voices. The calming atmosphere. Those were the visions dancing in my head as I merrily strolled down the hall from my room at the French Lick Springs Hotel to its spa. I wasn’t disappointed. My massage therapist, Sheree, skillfully turned my visions into tranquil nirvana. For my husband, Ross, his idea of bliss is playing golf. In my opinion, hitting an annoyingly-dimpled ball with an illbalanced stick toward an impossibly-small hole is simply an exercise in frustration. However, Ross didn’t want my opinion. He wanted to play golf on the Donald Ross Course. This links course knows how to take advantage of the Southern continued on page 32 t o da y ’ s

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Indiana hills. Ross was convinced all the holes went uphill. Even after donating a few of those dimpled balls to the rough, Ross was smiling when he finished his round. Ethan (age 12) and Autumn (age 9) had a different idea about fun. It involved climbing atop a 1,600-pound animal and bouncing their derrieres repeatedly into a hard leather surface, known as a saddle. Don’t let my grumbling fool you. I love to ride horses, and I’m delighted that my children enjoy it, too. Our trail guide Kena from The Stables at French Lick led us through the cool, shady woods and gentle hills. When we returned, I peeked into the stables. It was the cleanest barn I’d ever seen. That place was cleaner than my kitchen — at least after my kids finish fixing a snack. Even with all these activities, Ethan Ethan and Autumn enjoyed their first train ride, complete with tasty desserts. Below, Autumn poses on the veranda at French Lick resort that holds her Mom’s favorite chairs. and Autumn still found time to swim and visit Kid’s Fest — an entire building most excited “kid” of all. Indoor Karting (812.936.5390 or www. dedicated to children’s activities with board games, movies, and Wii FLWBIndoorKarting.com) was less than a mile from the hotel. games. They couldn’t wait to take advantage of the one hour of After explaining to Ethan and Autumn that this wasn’t bumper free play time. cars, they drove quite well. For Juniors, the cars went up to 20 I headed straight for the hoteI’s veranda. The wide covered porch mph. For the Big Kids (aka adults), the cars went up to 40 mph. was lined with rocking chairs that were beckoning. I could almost I was expecting NASCAR — with an oval track and everyone hear them calling my name. There was a chair near the end of the furiously passing each other. Instead, this was a road course, full porch that was waiting just for me. of curves. With a staggered start, you raced against yourself. The Not only was it blissfully relaxing, it was also without guilt. Ethan times were posted on a monitor in real time. There was nowhere and Autumn had begged to stay at Kid’s Fest, so I wasn’t deserting to hide. At the end, you received a printout with your times for each them, and Ross was still on the golf course chasing that dimpled lap and your overall average. ball. For the first few minutes, I rocked in stunned silence, semiparalyzed. Having guilt-free downtime was such a rarity that I wasn’t All Aboard! sure how to react. Eventually, I recovered and snuggled down in the As I was reviewing the Indiana Railway Museum website chair with a good book. (800.74-TRAIN or www.IndianaRailwayMuseum.org) looking at its The next day, I was sitting on the veranda again and listening to numerous ride options, it occurred to me Ethan and Autumn had a Dixieland Band. With my foot tapping, I began thinking about all never been on a train. I knew how to truly capture my kids’ attenthe activities we had done at the resort. It was hard to believe there tion; I signed us up for the Dessert Train. Okay, okay. I wanted to was a place that offered so much — right in Southern Indiana. eat the goodies, too. Yes, the turtle cheesecake was excellent. After Getting in on the Action My plan was to create a calm weekend. Well, just try selling that to a 9- and 12-year-old when they discover there are gokarts nearby. They weren’t the only guilty ones. Ross was the

dessert, Autumn thought it was cool that traffic had to stop for us at the railroad crossings. The friendly train staff made the trip extra enjoyable. They even pointed out Larry Bird’s childhood home as we rolled by. By the way, French Lick was world famous for its mineral springs long before Larry was even a sparkle in his mama’s eye. It was fun to explore the different cars, each with a unique seating arrangement. However, the most interesting part wasn’t in the cars, but between them. The pathway between the cars was covered with something that resembled a doormat. In fact, it was a sturdy metal covering, but there were gaps at the edges. It was fascinating to look down through the holes and see the ground rushing by below. It turned out that my relaxing weekend was action-packed. Yet, the entire family was satisfied. For a Type A, over-achieving mom like me, that type of success brought me bliss. Kelly Watkins’ work takes her all over the planet, and she loves to write about her travels. For tips and fun quizzes on communication, leadership, and customer service, you can reach her at www.KeepCustomers.com or 812.246.2424.

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Pa r t y Pl ace s

Birthday

Presents:

How Much Do You Spend? BY ANITA OLDHAM

Someone once told me that when shopping for a birthday party gift you should spend the age. I don’t think she meant this for those under age 5, because, really what can you get for that price? But I think it is good advice when buying birthday presents for children. I normally spent $10 for kids 10 and under and then started adding $1 for each year beyond 10. Some people spend way more than that, but when you’re in the birthday party circuit, that could mean an extra $20-$25 every month. Sometimes several of those parties hit in one month. One mother explained that she set her spending limit at $12, partially to keep a handle on her money but also because it makes her and her daughter think creatively about the gift. “It gives me chances to teach her about how to shop for someone else, how to shop creatively, and stay on a budget. If my daughter insists on an item that is over-budget, she has to kick in the difference from her allowance.” Parents know that inexpensive gifts can be just as loved — and sometimes even favored — over more expensive gifts. Of course the spending limit is up to each individual family. n

PARTY PLACES DIRECTORY BUSINESS/ADDRESS

PHONE NUMBER/WEBSITE

EVENT OR ACTIVITY FEATURES

A Mother’s Touch Jewelry & Gifts 12312 Shelbyville Rd. Louisville, KY 40243

502.253.9477

A Mother’s Touch offers a party room for both boys and girls ages 5 & up. Enjoy a theme or beading party. You can also use our room for classes, meetings, Wedding or Baby showers, or a fun Girls Night Out. Prices start at $10 per person or a room fee. Reservations and deposit required. We can help make your event fun and memorable. Call 502.253.9477 with any questions and availability.

Kart Kountry

502.543.9588

www.amotherstouchjewelry.com Facebook.com/A-Mothers-TouchPersonalized-Jewelry-Gifts

Joe B. Hall Ave. Shepherdsville, KY 40165

www.gokartkountry.com

Puzzle’s Fun Dome

502.261.7144

Facebook.com/Kart Kountry

11530 Bluegrass Pkwy. Louisville, KY 40299

www.puzzlesfundome.com

YMCA Several Kentuckiana locations

502.587.9622

Facebook.com/PuzzlesFunDome

www.ymcalouisville.org

Kart Kountry is fun for the whole family, featuring the largest go-kart track in the world at over 1.5 miles. Decide which of several party packages works best for you, then relax and have fun. Activities include go-karts, bumper boats, miniature golf, jumpshot, our huge Arcade with a mix of new and classic games, and our renovated Redemption Prize Center. Come celebrate with us! What if you could celebrate their best birthday ever? Several birthday party packages to choose from, including a walk-in party requiring no reservations. Your party will entertain the entire family, including great service. Great prices — you won’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun. You simply can’t find a better birthday. Your party will be a success and you don’t have to worry about the mess!

The Y has several great ways to celebrate birthdays with fun-filled activities! Options vary at Y locations and include pool, Calypso Cove, Hawaiian luau, Wii play, rock climbing, party art, pirate, Disney princess, Twilight, Justin Bieber, Toy Story and more! Come and celebrate with the Y; have your party with us and it will be a blast!

Today’s Family readers have a chance to “Win A Party” from our Party Places advertisers. For details, see our: Website: www.todaysfamilymag.com • Blog: www.todaysfamilyeveryday.com • Facebook: www.facebook.com/todaysfamily O c t o b e r / N o v e m b e r

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Party at Puzzle’s Party at Kart Kountry Happy Birthday to Luke Ochsner who turned 7 years old in September. To celebrate, Luke spent an evening with his friends at Puzzle’s Fun Dome. This isn’t your sit-at-the-table-and-put-together-a-puzzle type of place. Puzzle’s is an indoor arena full of various physical, creative, and interactive activities. A party host is assigned to each group. Luke’s party gathered in a private room and was then led to the Inflatable Fun Zone, an area of large inflatable jumping and slide structures. Many guests took turns wearing a Velcro suit at one of the inflatable loca tions, and jumped as high as they could to stick themselves to a Velcro wall. Others spent most of their time on the inflatable slide, which has a thrilling steep drop with a soft stop. Both parents and kids had a great time at this activity. The party then headed back to the room for pizza and cake! More fun was had after dinner in the arcade – tokens were provided in the party package. Happy 7th Birthday, Luke!

Cameron Muth and Luke Ochsner

Elisabeth Carlsen enjoying the inflatable slide!

Birthday parties for all ages are welcome at Kart Kountry! Donovan Jackson and his friends celebrated his 5th birthday at Kart Kountry this fall. At Kart Kountry there is definitely something for everyone to enjoy. At Donovan’s party, friends and family had a great time with the go-karts (kiddie karts are available for ages 4-7!), bumper boats, miniature golf, and the vast number of video games in the arcade. As guests were waiting for others to arrive, they were able to test their skills on the various arcade games. Once everyone was assembled, food was served in a private area of the arcade, presents were exchanged, and then everyone headed outside. All partygoers, including the parents, had at least two hours of fun. The Kart Kountry staff is very friendly and attentive. What a great birthday party celebration it was for Donovan and his friends! Happy 5th Birthday to Donovan!

Caroline Harbolt, Donovan Jackson (same motorcycle) and Justin Campbell

Lilly Harper, Carly Martin, Caroline Harbolt, Dominick Jackson, and Donovan Jackson

(left to right) Cameron Muth, Adam Russell, and Claire Russell

Fun in the Bumper Boats!

Looks like everyone was having a good time!

Lilly Harper, William Eads, Donovan Jackson, and Jacob Campbell

PA R T Y P L AC E S

a new mother’s

STORY PART 6 in a Series —

In this story series throughout this year, Louisville freelance writer Laura Clark, 28, guides us through her experience as a first-time mother. By Laura Clark

ne of the annoying side effects of having a journalism degree is the need to neatly summarize everything. Quick: in one sentence, using an active voice, condense your thoughts on being a new mom.

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PHOTO: CHET WHITE

Opposites abound in motherhood. Chaos theory rules the day. Every night I go to bed with life lessons hanging above me like fruit from some wisdom tree. If only I wasn’t too tired to grasp them. (Shoot. That was two sentences. Better use a semicolon.) The point I’m trying to make is that motherhood is confusing and complex. I’m dumbfounded when people say, “Having a kid changes everything! How ‘bout them Wildcats?” Can we not talk about parenthood? Is all that is left unspoken understood? I don’t want to talk non-stop about my kid. But I do think parenthood is a profound milestone in anyone’s life. Parenthood warrants acknowledgement, celebration, and some examining. It doesn’t neatly condense. Becoming a mom is chaos and opposites and learning. Parenthood is both a universal condition if you are a mom, and it’s infinitely unique. Every time I start to analyze it, I get frustrated. Which means in real life, I often try to race so fast from a mommy stereotype, I run smack into a cliché. But I try not to be anxious or negative. I would like — as Dr. Sarah J. Buckley wrote in Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering — for mothering to be “a meditation, a deep mindfulness that is satisfying spiritually as well as physically and emotionally.” Most days I feel like I won some cosmic lottery when I look at my son. I can’t cuddle Carter enough, stroke his smooth skin enough, or kiss those fat cheeks enough. t o d a y ’ s

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He has a budding sense of humor and rebellious tendencies. He will be both my greatest challenge and my salvation. Rounding the 9-month-mark, Carter has grown too fast. I love each stage more than the last. He’s super chatty and social. He lights up when he sees other little people. If he’s around another baby, he goes right over and tries to poke him in the eye. With a smile on his face, of course. When I took him to the spray park this summer, he looked enviously at the older children running around, squealing. Then he’d scamper over to me, pull up, and scream with delight. Walking is imminent, which means running is not far behind. I can’t wait until he can run. Then we’ll play games in the evening that go something like this: “Carter, run out to that tree and back as fast as you can. I’ll time you. Again? Again. Oh, are you exhausted yet? Race out there. Okay. Night-night time.” He fights sleep and diaper changes and often the stroller. Usually, I handle it all pretty well. But sometimes I just want to check out. I feel the most awful when Carter has been difficult, I’m tired, and I have little patience left for my husband, Chet. It isn’t Chet’s fault that our house is so small he can’t grind coffee or wear shoes or drop ice cubes in a glass without waking the baby. We live in a shoebox. I tried to be forgiving when after I rocked Carter to sleep, Chet tried to lay him down. Unsuccessfully. There’s an elaborate technique to laying down a light sleeper. It involves gently kneeling on the bed, laying the baby butt-first on his back to remove one hand, then tucking your cheek to his chest as you remove the hand from behind his head. All at an agonizingly slow pace while breathing calmly. Chet rushed step 2A, and guess who had to nurse the baby back to sleep? But when I look at Carter, who is Chet’s mini-me, I remind myself that I love them both unconditionally, for their unique charms and for those lessendearing traits. The awesome love I feel for Carter has opened up my heart more to my husband. When our house got slammed with a late summer cold, Chet seemed to get the brunt of it. On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being healthy, I was a seven, Chet was a self-described two, and Carter only had a runny nose. But Carter chose the worst night to

As Carter has grown, the things I can and can’t do have been constantly evolving. My garden is a disaster. Only the sunflowers and melons are thriving. I’ve had to let it go. have insomnia. I was rocking and nursing and singing at 11 p.m. Normally, Chet can give me a little relief, but he felt too bad. The next day was the same way. I gave him lots of soup and space to rest quietly, but warned him I’d spike his cereal with immune-boosting breast milk if he didn’t perk up. And then out of nowhere, he’ll surprise me. He came back from a 6-mile run the other day and said, “You know, I have running as an outlet. What do you want to do? What are you passionate about besides raising Carter?” Tears of gratitude and love overflowed. It is so easy to get caught up in the day-today care of a little one, as well as cooking meals and doing chores that I often forget

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to take care of myself, which I swore I would never do. But we need balance in our lives to be whole, to be the best we can be for each other and ourselves. Carter needs me, but not every second of the day. Chet is more than happy to take care of him while I read or write or go for a run. Just 30 minutes to an hour makes a huge difference in my ability to be a patient mom and wife. As Carter has grown, the things I can and can’t do have been constantly evolving. My garden is a disaster. Only the sunflowers and melons are thriving. I’ve had to let it go. Next year, I’ll scale back, knowing how difficult it is to tend a garden with a small child. Because of the work I do as a mother, I am inspired to do work one day that is as meaningful as parenting. When I grow up, I’d like to be a doula, a market gardener, and a better writer. Chet suggested I become an environmental lawyer, but I think that was on one of my more argumentative days. Regardless of what the future holds, my heart is full now. Life is bliss in its simplicity with Carter. I love how my worries fall away as we dance and sing nonsense songs and babble like Teletubbies.

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CALENDAR of events

Today’s Family Everyday Giveaway Win a prize every day at

www.TodaysFamilyEveryday.com! In celebration of the launch of our Today’s Family Everyday blog on October 5, we’ll be giving our readers a special treat! Every day from October 10 until November 18, you could win a prize by entering our Today’s Family Everyday Giveaway. For more details on the contest rules, go to www.facebook. com/todaysfamily or our blog at www. TodaysFamilyEveryday.com.

You could win prizes from: Black Diamond Bubble Truck Carmen’s Cupcakes Danger Run Derby City Pediatric Dentistry Derby Dinner Playhouse Dundee Candy Shop Frazier Museum Gaylord Opryland (Grand Prize) Home Cuisine Joe Huber’s Restaurant Joseph’s Salon & Spa Kart Kountry KaZoing Kuzin Kozy KY Railway Museum Little Growing Spurts Locust Grove Louisville Science Center Louisville Zoo Lynn’s Paradise Café Mom’s Music Moments Photography Mr. Magic Playthings Toy Shoppe Presentation Academy Spirit Basket Puzzles Fundome Queen of Treats Stage One Tony BoomBozz

YOU ARE

Bring the whole family and join in for an evening of not-too-scary Halloween fun with costumed characters and over 15 whimsical storybook scenes throughout the zoo. Kids age 11 and under also can trick-or-treat. Don’t forget to dress up and bring your treat bag.

tickets to the American Girl Fashion Show on October 7, and each will have their own plaque, which will be displayed in the Kosair Children’s Hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. O c t o b e r / N o v e m b e r

Walk to Cure Diabetes

The Kentucky and Southern Indiana Chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s annual Walk to Cure Diabetes will be approximately two miles and will feature a post-walk lunch, inflatable bouncies, and other entertainment including local band, Luk Nichols and The Other Side of Midnight.

WHEN~ Weekends in October: 7-9, 13-16, 20-23, 27-30 Enter from 5 until 8:30 p.m. WHERE~ Louisville Zoo COST~ Tickets can be purchased at the zoo gates, online, or at a local Meijer store. Parking will be a $ 5 charge. CONTACT~ www.louisvillezoo.org/ halloween/index.htm

WHEN~ October 22, 11am -2pm WHERE~ Churchill Downs Gate 10/Longfield Lot CONTACT~ 502.485.9397, www.jdrf.org

National Acrobats of the People’s Republic of China

For 61 years, the National Acrobats of China bring the spectacle of music and world-class acrobatics in a show fit for the whole family.

American Girl Fashion Show

The fifth annual American Girl Fashion Show to benefit Kosair Children’s Hospital will feature American Girls including Even peacocks like Addy, Felicity, Kit, Molly, and Rebecca.

to visit the Louisville

WHEN~ October 26 at 7:30 pm WHERE~ The Brown Theatre COST~ $15 to $38.50. CONTACT~ www.kentuckycenter.org

WHEN~ October 8-9, noon-2pm and 4-6pm Bardstown Bound All-Day Boofest Zoo’s World’s Largest WHERE~ Churchill Downs, Millionaires Row Halloween Party. Walk the streets and enjoy the treats! Bring COST~ $ 35 per person. the kids dressed in costume to this all day CONTACT~ www.HelpKosairChildrensHospital.com, event and the cast of Bardstown Bound Boofest will pass 502.629.5437

out goodies. Trick and treat with a trolley from 2-8 p.m.

Miss Nelson Is Missing An ungrateful class is surprised when their teacher, Miss Nelson, is replaced by mean Miss Viola Swamp. After several days with the substitute teacher the children realize just how good they had it with Miss Nelson. WHEN~ October 8, 15, 22, 29 and November 5 and 12, Times vary WHERE~ Derby Dinner Playhouse in Clarksville COST~ Tickets range from $ 30- $ 43 CONTACT~ 812.288.8281 or www.derbydinner.com

The Scream Tour: The Next Generation

This year’s SCREAM TOUR introduces fans to a new crop of young stars. This year’s lineup includes Conjunction/Streamline/Interscope recording artist Mindless Behavior, Atlantic Records’ recording artist Diggy, with special guest Shotty/Warner Bros. WHEN~ October 14, 7 pm WHERE~ Louisville Palace Theater COST~ $ 39.50 CONTACT~ www.screamtour.com; for tickets — www.LouisvillePalace.com

Here are excerpts from their winning essays:

Congratulations to Anna Kurk, Emily Schweitzer, and Emma Farnsley for being selected as winners of our Today’s Girl Essay contest. They will receive

World’s Largest Halloween Party

Anna Kurk, age 8 “I’m just like Mia the 2008 girl of the year doll because we are both ice skaters. Like Mia, I do ice competitions. Just like Mia I went to a competition and things did not go like I planned, but I learned to be a good sport and still give a smile out to the crowd. “ Emily Schweitzer, age 9 “Hi, my name is Emily. I do have a lot in common with almost all of the American Girls, but the one that is right for me would be Lanie, girl of 2010-11. We both love to go on adventures and see what creatures we will discover. We both also enjoy gardening like planting seeds to grow to be big beautiful plants. We both LOVE TO LEARN!” Emma Farnsley, age 11 “Hello. My name is Emma Farnsley and I feel I am most like Molly. She has a friend named Emily, which is also my best friend’s name. Like in the book, Meet Molly, she works in a garden a lot. I am part of a garden club at my school. We are trying to make the school a better, prettier environment.” 2 0 1 1

WHEN~ October 29, all day WHERE~ Douglass Loop, Bardstown Road, Baxter Avenue CONTACT~ www.bardstownbound.com

Operation: PARENT fundraiser gala

Operation: PARENT is hosting their First Annual Premier Gala with dinner, dancing, cocktails, and silent and live auctions. This gala is a fundraiser for Operation Parent. WHEN~ October 28, 6:30pm WHERE~ Hyatt Downtown CONTACT~ 502.245.7154, www.operationparent.org

Festival of Trees & Lights

Christmas trees, wreaths, and other hand-crafted holidays items can be purchased. Friday night is Dickens Family Night, including photos with Santa and a fireworks show.

BENEFITS~ Children’s Hospital Foundation WHEN~ Festival: November 11 to 13. A Dickens Family Night is Fri, Nov. 11 @ 6-9 p.m. WHERE~ Louisville Slugger Field COST~ $5 children, $8 adults, families $25 CONTACT~ www.HelpKosairChildrensHospital.com

A Velveteen Rabbit Christmas

The original “Toy Story!” Christmas presents come to life as a very special toy learns what is real and is changed forever in this enchanting new holiday musical based on the classic book. And Santa and Mrs. Claus come for a visit before every show!

WHEN~ November 19, 25, 26 and December 3, 10, 17, 23 WHERE~ Derby Dinner Playhouse in Clarksville, Ind. CONTACT~ 812.288.8281, www.derbydinner.com

2011 Healthy Family Training Camp

The American Heart Association presents the 2011 Healthy Family Training Camp. Bring the family and your tennis shoes for a fun day filled with games and challenges, tips on eating healthier, and family health screenings. The event is free, but registration is necessary. WHEN~ November 20, 12:30-2 pm WHERE~ KFC Yum! Center- Spirit Room CONTACT~ cindy.schnell@heart.org

Healthy Dating

Operation Parent is sponsoring Preparing Teens for Healthy Flirting and Dating presented by Rus Funk of MensWork, Inc. WHEN~ November 16, 10am-12pm or Nov. 17, 6:30-8:30pm CONTACT~ www.OperationParent.org t o d a y ’ s

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Children’s parties

Maternity/Baby

Bubble Truck

Babyology Breastfeeding Resource Center & Boutique

Bubble Truck and Bubble Bus offering unique bubble parties. Create memories that will last a life time. We bringthe party to you. Our parties are very interactive. Your guests will be making bubbles over 30 feet long. 502.442.5917 after 5pm www.bubbletruck.com

CLOTHING

Little Treasures Kid’s Sale Area’s most anticipated kid’s consignment event held every March and August. Parents can earn money on the things their kids have outgrown and save up to 90% on new and delicately used brand name items. For more information about the sale, visit www.littletsale.com

3934 Dutchmans Ln., Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.721.7727 • www.babyology.com

Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place

502.541.4446 • www.littletreasuressale.com

EDUCATION/PRESCHOOL

Harvey Browne Preschool Our preschool is nationally accredited (NAEYC) and serves children 2 1/2 through kindergarten in a loving, developmentally appropriate environment. Visit our school and see how each child is valued and empowered to reach their potential. 311 Browns Lane, Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.895.2577 • www.harveybrownepreschool.org

St. James Catholic School Come soar above with St. James Elementary and Monsignor Horrigan Pre-School/Pre-K Programs! We encourage and support the development of every child by enhancing a positive self-image through education. Call now about our Open House. 1818 Edenside Avenue • 502.454.0330, Ext. 11 • www.stjamesbluejays.com

EDUCATION/SPECIALTY SCHOOLS

Sproutlings Pediatric Day Care & Preschool Sproutlings was purposefully designed to provide an extraordinary place, with state-of-the-art resources, where every child can feel cared for, comfortable, safe and stimulated. Sproutlings is also a place where parents can feel at ease and confident with the care of their children. We offer extended evening hours to ensure we meet your needs. Our unique approach begins with our designation as a referral-based Prescribed Pediatric Extended Care center for up to 55 medically fragile children. It continues with our integration of traditional day care and preschool services for up to 55 children, ages 6 weeks through teen years, without special needs. We proudly offer comprehensive care and development programs for children of all abilities. Conveniently located in Crescent Hill, Sproutlings is part of the Masonic Homes’ Louisville campus. With more than 13,000 sq. ft. of space, Sproutlings provides a comfortable, inviting and happy place for children to thrive. 3701 Frankfort Avenue • Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.753.8222 • www.sproutlingsdaycare.com Reach more than 99,000 readers. Advertising rates as low as $ 50. For more information call 502.327.8855 or email advertising@todayspublications.com

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We rent and sell a full line of breast pumps, maternity/nursing bras 32B to 50L, nursing covers, baby carriers, and a lot of unique mommy/baby gift items. We also offer lactation consults by IBCLCs, latch checks, and more. Plus, we offer FREE weight checks and Gift Registry on-line. Classes — Free Mom’s support group, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Introducing Solids, and many other classes. Complete listing of classes on our website: www.babyology.com. Baby Showers — For facility rental and planning info, contact Vicki Sanders at vicki@babyology.com or 502.721.7727. Hours M-F 9a-7p & Sat. 9a-6p.

The Family Birth Place offers expectant parents a personalized birth experience. With spacious labor and delivery suites, in-room waiting areas, and garden tubs, the Family Birth Place has the ambience of a luxury hotel. Providing quality care to mom and baby is of utmost importance, that’s why the Family Birth Place promotes Kangaroo Care, the practice of a mother holding her baby skin-to-skin, and Quiet Time. Clark Memorial is also the only hospital in the area to have two Certified Nurse Midwives on staff and an on-site Breastfeeding Center staffed by a Certified Lactation Consultant. Childbirth Classes – Prepared Childbirth, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Brothers and Sisters To Be, Infant CPR and Safety, and Doula Night. A complete class schedule is on our website. Breastfeeding Center – Breastfeeding supplies including bras, pads, and pumps for purchase. Breast pump rental, free weight checks for baby, and individual consultations. Hours: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. Monday – Saturday. Phone: 812.283.2901 Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place 1220 Missouri Ave., Jeffersonville, IN 47130 • 812.283.6631 • www.clarkmemorial.org

OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY

Women First of Louisville, PLLC Women taking care of women. At Women First of Louisville, professional women in all stages of life, career and motherhood take care of other women who are balancing the same issues. So we’ve built our medical practice by focusing on women first, in everything we do. We offer comprehensive care for women with many innovative technologies and even surgeries available right in the office. Our services include digital mammography, osteoporosis screening, OB/GYN ultrasounds, genetic and preconception counseling, high risk obstetrics, lactation counseling, urinary incontinence testing /surgery, sterilization, minimally-invasive GYN surgeries, menopause counseling and hormonal therapy management. We make it easy, too, with our on-line patient portal so you can pre-register and schedule appointments, pay your bill on-line, and renew prescriptions — all though our website www.wfoflou.com. We know you take care of a lot. At Women First, we take care of you. Find out more about us on-line or call and set up a new patient appointment.

D I R E C T O R Y

Baptist East Medical Pavilion • 3900 Kresge Way, Suite 30 (40207) • 502.891.8700 • www.wfoflou.com

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By carrie vittitoe • Photos by Melissa Donald

LouisvilleMommies’ babies PLAYGROUP (Southeast Area)

Who they are: Moms who are members of LouisvilleMommies, a free group offering friendship and support for Moms and their babies under age 2. When they meet: Various times, including weekends and evenings to accommodate working moms’ schedules. Playgroups generally meet once or twice a month. Members have access to a monthly activity/event calendar via www.louisvillemommies.com. Where they meet: Members host the Babies Playgroup in their homes, which offer a safe, secure, and sanitary environment for babies to explore. Playgroups for older children often meet at public locations. How it began: While living in Charlotte, N.C., Whitney Trowbridge discovered a local Mommies Network site. She was pregnant with her first child and found the community to be a wonderful place to find free activities and friendships. Upon her family’s return to Louisville, where Trowbridge was raised, she started the local site, which now has almost 500 members and recently celebrated its Birthday Bash. A benefit of the playgroup for moms: According to Trowbridge, “The best thing for moms is knowing they can be in an environment where older toddlers who aren’t always careful around little babies are not in attendance.” (Hosting members determine whether older siblings are allowed at the Babies playgroup, but in most cases hosts are perfectly fine with moms bringing their other children. Some moms prefer to make childcare arrangements for their older children to enjoy spending time with their littlest ones.) 40

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INSI D E THE

Playgroup

An opportunity for moms to branch out: LouisvilleMommies has members in five local areas with a variety of playgroups in each: Northeast, Central, Southeast, West, and Southern Indiana. Members can choose to attend playgroups with other moms who live close to them or branch out to meet moms from all over Kentuckiana.

on the day and time of the play date and whether the hostess has enough space for that many people. On the activity calendar, hosting members can specify a maximum number of guests they can comfortably welcome into their homes, ensuring that those moms who really want to attend RSVP as quickly as possible.

That’s a lot of Babies: Typically between 8-12 members and their babies attend a playgroup, although this depends

Biggest challenge of the Babies playgroup: Finding a play date schedule that works around babies’ multiple daily naps.

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