The Sentinella Axarquia April 10

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 68

All you need for ‘info on the go’

April 10

arkwrights the British store & more

Bringing Books to Life www.TheWordQueen.com

95 11 67 674 95 25 19 780

The little mag that fits in your bag for ‘info on the go’

Rent a Home Buy a Home 0% Commission for rental Clients

torre del Mar

For rent

300€ per month Benamargosa

For rent

400€ per month torre Del Mar

ref: 000 – 018

Spacious, well-equipped Studio with balcony.

Electric heating, communal pool. ref: 222 - 096

Large 2 bed, 1 bath Apartment.

75m2, fully furnished, garden, mountain views, village pool opposite, parking available.

For sale

ref: 3s - 022

Great Location

rubite

For rent

675€ per month Cajiz

ref: 444 - 043 Delightful 4 bed, 2 bath Villa. 150m2 built (1 storey), 1,000m2 plot, near Velez-Malaga.

Fireplace, furnished, A/C, auto gates, private pool, pond, irrigated garden.

For sale

259,000€

torrox Pueblo For rent or sale ref: 2s – 010

Lovely 2 bed, 2 bath Village House. 84m2, Roof terrace, Sky TV

3 bed, 1 bath Apartment.

Fully furnished, 180,000€

west facing balcony

Near arenas For rent or sale ref: 555 - 005 2 Amazing Houses on 1 level with shared pool & gardens.

Sky TV, mountain views.

1. 2 bed, 2 bath, 60m2 2. 3 bed, 1 bath, 84m2, A/C & double glazing.

For Sale: 195,000€ (total) For Rent: 350€ p.m. (each)

Do you have a quality property to sell?

ref: 7s - 002

Exciting Project, 200m2 Cortijo.

7 bed, 3 storeys, under floor heating.

Reform needed.

Property exchange possible in England or Spain.

For Rent: 400€ per month For Sale: 119,000€ torre del Mar For rent or sale ref: 444 - 044 Very spacious 4 bed, 2 bath Town House.

Central location, large kitchen, south facing terraces with BBQ area to the rear with grassed front garden.

For Rent: 800€ per month For Sale: 409,000€

www.rentahomespain.com email: info@rentahomespain.com Avda. Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

We have serious investors with money ready to buy NOW!

(You’ll find us just round the corner from the Thursday market at the roundabout)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

3

Front Cover by ´Katie´. See her work at www.kasiasqo.deviantart.com

m Fro Ed... the

CONtaCt Us: Editor: keidi - 610 976 284 Email: info@thesentinella.com

It has been some time since I wrote about England, but I couldn’t resist this month, largely because I have just returned from a four-day mini-break there.

However, what I preconceived as a ‘break’ turned into a bitingly cold, stress-ridden chore.

My first two days were spent in London. I had a couple of errands to run, which I had wrongly assumed would take very little time. Half-way there, engulfed by rushhour commuters at all angles, I felt the stress surge and flashbacks of my ‘previous life’ working a 9-5.30 JOB (Just Over Broke) in the West End, burst into my brain. When I finally left the train and welcomed the coldness as it flooded my stuffy body, I saw a sea of human bodies, some flowing towards the exit, others ebbing in the direction of the underground. I inhaled a huge breath of air and set off towards the metro, desperately trying not to step on the heels of the people in front of me, while receiving regular elbow jabs and bag pokes from those on either side. The time was 8.35am. In Spain I would just be pulling up my blinds to let in the early morning sun rays, before settling leisurely on my balcony with a fresh juice and a bowl of porridge. Yet here I was, in what seemed like a completely different world; like hell as opposed to heaven. I glanced behind and noticed that everyone looked like zombies; solemn faces, grey hair, pasty skin, a tired swagger with every step.

sales: kami - 664 210 468 Email:sales@thesentinella.com Distribution/Collections: tony - 664 689 138 Follow us on twitter @the_sentinella or @keidi_keating Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine.

May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

www.thesentinella.com

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From The Ed (cont) The tube journey was no different. It was only two stops, but in that short time I noticed each zombie vacuumed into their newspapers reading about soul-destroying subjects such as war, famine, death and destruction.

I ended up spending the entire day in London, unfortunately joining the rush hour crowd on their return leg home at 6.30pm.

By this time the once-solemn faces now wore scowls, accompanied by grey pockets of exhaustion. I found myself staring into eyes which had no spark, no shimmer of joy, only shreds of despair.

Then it hit me that most of these people would repeat this monotonous existence for five consecutive days each week for the rest of their lives. In essence this was their life. They were trapped on the hamster wheel of reality, the Matrix.

And as I sat on that train back to the flat where I was staying I closed my eyes and thanked the universe whole-heartedly for my life in Spain, the sun, the laughter, this great little magazine and everything else which made up my current reality.

And to all those who live in Spain and enjoy a life away from the rat-race; the competitiveness, materialism, ego and stress, I would suggest you do the same.

We all have such a lot to be thankful for…

Keidi Keating x

Editor (of the original little mag)!

A Taste Of What´s On This Month Useless Facts .............Page 16 Film review.................Page 24 Funny Pics.................Page 38 sharescope................Page 48 Network Update.........Page 51 amazing animals.......Page 54 star signs...................Page 97 what´s On...................Page 98 Puzzle Page..............Page 102 Joke Page.................Page 104

Strange News Gardener to sail in a giant pumpkin An award-winning vegetable gardener is planning to sail to the Isle of Man in a giant pumpkin.

Medwyn Williams, 67, of Llanfairpwll, is growing a 725kg pumpkin to be his boat in a stunt to raise money for charity.

The walls of his pumpkin vessel with be 15cm thick and it will be fitted with a seat and outboard motor.

Mr Williams said "I am totally confident this can be done. I have done tests with smaller pumpkins and they float well."

Centenarian’s longevity down to cigs and booze A 100-year-old Gloucestershire woman believes her longevity may be down to cigarettes and alcohol.

Lorna Gobey, of Cheltenham, smokes 20 cigarettes a day and regularly enjoys a glass of Guinness with a whisky chaser.

She smoked her first cigarette in 1940 and estimates that she's gone through over half-a-million since then.

Mrs Gobey, who has 27 grandchildren, 55 great grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren, toasted her birthday at her local Labour Club with her favourite tipple.

Ghosts for sale online Two bottles said to contain the spirits of ghosts exorcised from a house in New Zealand have been put up for sale on an online auction site.

The lot, 'Two Captured Ghosts,' reached a top price of nearly £200 on TradeMe, New Zealand's equivalent of eBay. The seller claims the spirits were captured by an exorcist from a spiritual church at a property in Christchurch.

"We have had no paranormal activity since they were bottled last July," the seller said.

"I believe they’re in the bottles."

www.thesentinella.com

Construction of Swimming Pools in projected concrete.

Hydro-massage Spas, Saunas and all reforms and repairs Special Prices and no obligation quotes

TEL: 952 54 91 39 guniagua@guniagua.es www.guniagua.es

C/Julio romero de torres 19, Polig. industrial la Pa単oleta, Velez Malaga

Sunday Roast inc.glass of wine â‚Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am till late every day Scandanavian Special every Tuesday Karaoke every Saturday night Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

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“Quack Quack”

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

´Life´ thoughts by Ducky!

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.

So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing..

If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

AMEN, AMEN !!

Wouldn't you know it.....

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

RESTAURANTE ASIATICO

FENG

Lidl Fengs Avda. Andalucia To Nerja

Open every day

12.00 - 16.30 18.30 - 24.00 Avda. Andalucia, 35 Bajo 29750 Algarrobo-Costa (Malaga)

Tel: 952 551 439 or 671 886 552

Laguna Beach

torrox Costa

the Original Full a-La Carte (over 100 dishes) Eat what YOU CaN MENU Not to be confused with other offerings POssiBLY thE BEst VaLUE iNDiaN CUisiNE ON thE COstas

ONLY 12.95€

available seven days a week, 364 days per year NOw FULLY air CONDitiONED Light of India, Laguna Beach, Torrox Costa, (next to Laguna Sport)

Tel: 951 047 943 Mob: 627 141 966 Summer Opening Times: 2pm - Midnight Seven Days A Week

LEws Fish & ChiPs traDitiONaL ENgLish Fish & ChiPs Edf. Ruselo, Avda. El Faro, Torrox Costa

tel: 952 532 633

sample Menu - Eat in or take away Cod........................................€5.95 Quarter Pounder..................€3.95 Haddock.................................€5.95 Cheese Burger......................€4.50 Plaice.....................................€6.95 Egg Burger............................€4.50 Cod Roe................................€1.95 Mushy Peas...........................€1.00 Baked Beans.........................€1.00 Chips......................................€1.50 Curry Sauce...........................€1.00 Jumbo Battered Sausage......€1.95 Bread & Butter.......................€1.00 Jumbo Sausage.....................€1.75 Gherkin & Pickled Onions......€0.60 Various Pies & Pasties...........€3.95 Pineapple Fritter & Ice Cream....€1.95 Jumbo Sausage Roll..............€2.95 Ice Cream..............................€1.50

please note - opening times: Monday - sunday 10am - 10pm

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Linea Directa Is my driving licence valid in Spain?

Línea Directa, a market leader in the sale of direct car, motorbike, fleet and home insurance, is only too aware of the problems that their foreign customers residing in Spain face and, in response to their doubts and concerns, they offer them all the information they might need concerning the current regulations in Spain with regard to the validation of driving licences, amongst others.

If the driving licence has been issued in an EU member state or one that belongs to the EEa, it remains valid in Spain as long as the minimum age required for Spanish driving licences is respected, which is 18 years old for driving a vehicle. When the licence expires, if the holder is not a resident in Spain, he or she will have to renew it in his or her country of origin. if the customer is a resident in spain, his or her driving licence is subject to Spanish legislation with regard to validity periods, psychophysical aptitude control and the total number of points on the licence. In addition, when the licence is renewed in Spain, the holder will be automatically registered in the “Registro General de Conductores” and he or she will be assigned the validity period corresponding to age and the type of permit held.

Obligatory and voluntary exchange A resident can voluntarily exchange his or her driving licence in Spain, in which case he or she will be automatically registered in the aforementioned “Registro General de Conductores”. In this case, the foreign driver must also undergo a medical examination.

However, it is not obligatory for the driver to carry the certificate showing that he or she has passed the psychophysical test as part of the vehicle’s documentation. A valid vehicle registration certificate (“permiso de circulación”) fulfilling the aforementioned requirement is sufficient proof of this.

In Spain, there are only three situations in which a foreign resident is obliged to exchange his or her driving licence: When, in accordance with Spanish legislation, the vehicle or the driver is subject to changes, restrictions or limitations.

When the driver has lost points on his or her licence after committing an offence.

When a driving licence must be declared void or detrimental.

Línea Directa offers, via its International Department, all foreign policyholders living in spain the possibility of using all its services in English and german.

For more information consult the Spanish Traffic Department’s webpage (www.dgt.es) or call Línea Directa Aseguradora on 902 123 104

www.thesentinella.com

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Mr Cowell Love Him or Hate Him? Simon Cowell has admitted being "appalled" by the way he has talked to some talent show contestants. So, is Simon really that harsh or just funny?

Here are a few of Mr. Cowell's famous put-downs to help you make your mind up…

"There’s as much chance of you being a pop star or a rock star as me flying to the moon tomorrow for breakfast."

"You have the personality of a handle."

"You sounded like you were being strangled."

"You came in, you called yourself champagne and you sounded like house wine."

"You doing that ballad is rather like casting Ricky Gervais as Rambo."

"You have just invented a new form of torture."

"Let me throw a mathematical dilemma at you – there's 500 left, well how come the odds of you winning are a million to one?"

"Shave off your beard and wear a dress. I think you’d be a great female impersonator."

"What was that song? Darling, it's not just that you have a bad voice... you were singing notes that have never been invented."

"Your mouth is far too big when you sing.

It's like looking in to a cave... I've never seen anything so huge in my life. Absolutely terrible."

"If you sung like this 2,000 years ago, people would've stoned you."

"I could sell you as a sleeping aid. I've never heard anything more boring in my life."

TAJ MAHAL Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant Eat as MUCh as YOU LikE

Y L ON

9.95 €

We offer an ‘all you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want) all freshly cooked to order.

You stay seated at your table as everything is served to you in courses.

Masood & his team are on standby to serve you the best Indian cuisine from the last 2 years.

“Just come once & feel the difference” wChef´s Specials wPrivate Parties catered for wCharity events - Special Discount

Menu del Dia 7€ - 3 courses Open every day New special 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 takeaway Menu Ctra Nacional - 340

Next to Post Office, torrox Costa tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535

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De Cotta Marriage By Myles Jackson, a Barrister-atLaw De Cotta McKenna & Santafé This month, I discuss marriage in Spain, the definition of which has changed relatively recently so as to allow gay marriages.

One party needs to be resident and demonstrate such by producing the relevant documentation. Both parties must demonstrate that they are single, which typically is proved by obtaining a certificate from the civil registry in one’s home country. Necessarily, birth certificates are required as are, in the case of widows or widowers, the original birth certificate and death certificate of the deceased spouse.

Divorcees need provide one’s certificate of decree nisi. All such documentation needs an apostille stamp as issued by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. The aspostille confirms that the documents are originals. Thereafter, the documents need to be translated into Spanish by a sworn translator.

If intent on marrying in church, you also need to present certificates of baptism and a declaration from your (former) parish priest that you follow the Roman Catholic faith and are free to marry.

Thereafter, you need to lodge the documentation with the Spanish Civil Registry Office which will allow you to be married about 30 days or so thereafter. With regard to those marrying in church, the priest will hand you a marriage certificate which needs to be presented to the Civil Registry, so that you are granted an official marriage certificate.

In the event that you marry a Spanish subject, you will be issued with a Family Book (libro de familia). This is an important document into which future births and deaths within the family will be formally entered.

Marriage to a Spaniard does not confer automatic citizenship rather one needs to apply for such. Typically citizenship will be granted without too much fuss.

Those not wanting to marry just yet, can

always register as a couple of fact (pareja de hecho). This entitles you to the same tax allowances as married couples. To register, you need attend your Ayuntamiento with much the same documentation as required above. Those embarking on same-sex marriage or registering as a couple of fact, follow much the same procedure as above and can avail themselves to the exact same tax allowances as offered to heterosexual couples.

If you wish for more information on this particular topic, or would like to discuss any matter raised therein, contact Myles Jackson or Reyes Gomez Llorente, De Cotta McKenna y Santafe, on 952 527 014. Offices in Mijas Costa, Coín, Nerja, Granada and Tenerife.

De Cotta McKenna y Santafé, Calle Diputación, 6-2º-A, 29780 Nerja, Málaga. Tel.: (+34) 952 52 70 14 Fax: (+34) 952 52 34 28 email: mylesjackson@decottalaw.net website: www.decottalaw.com

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri. 12pm - 4pm

Rashid and his team Sunday - Buffet 1pm - 4pm are determined to continue offering his Adults - 9.95€ 3 courses €5.95 excellent cuisine.

Chidren under 12 - 5.50€ with vegetable curry Now even better value (inc. starters, various mains, €6.95 with meat / prawn curry for money!! vegetarian, rice & bread)

Special Menu Monday to Thursday - 8.95€

Pappadam, Onion Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Vegetable Samosa, Chicken, Lamb, Prawn / Vegetable Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak - Pillau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Anadaluica, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday www.theguidetospain.com

Legal Advisor working with Independent Lawyer and specialising in Property Legalizations, Catastro & Border Corrections, Land Segregations & Conversions and Properties without Deeds etc.

People are becoming increasingly aware of the necessity to have all their property papers in order. This is particularly important for those wanting to sell, and it is common for people to find out just when they seem to have a buyer that part of their property is not on the Deed, the land measurements are wrong or they have extended the property and wish to have the Deed updated etc. Correcting these matters can often be a lengthy process which you cannot afford if you have a buyer waiting to sign. Solutions 4 U, an estate agent themselves, but offering this independent legal service to all, can deal with these items quickly and professionally.

If you would like peace of mind that your property papers are in order or that corrections are being carried out speedily, call Solutions 4 U. Reasonable Rates & a Free Initial Consultation.

Solutions 4 U, Cómpeta Office Tel: 952 55 38 07 or 660 51 01 34 Email: info@solutions4u-competa.com

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ss e l e Us ts Fac

l ecia p s t e hos wan of t don’t ’t x i m ou an ther at y ut c !

Anoacts th know b ading! f to p re h el

No edition of The Sentinella is complete without its collection of useless facts!

The bagpipe was originally made from the liver of a dead sheep.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (2m) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose.

EXPATS WANTED!! ..to contribute true-life stories about moving to and living in Spain, for a BOOK to be released later this year.

Share your stories.

See your name in print.

Impress your friends and family!

F or mo re in fo e ma il : ke i di@l ivi n gin th e sun . in fo

It is possible to drown and not die. Technically the term "drowning" refers to the process of taking water into the lungs, not death caused by that process.

Jeremy Bentham, a British philosopher who died in 1832, left his entire estate to the London Hospital provided that his body was allowed to preside over its board meetings. His skeleton was clothed and fitted with a wax mask of his face. It was present at the meeting for 92 years.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

The world's largest McDonalds is located on I-44 at Vinita, Oklahoma. It goes from one side of the interstate to the other, passing over the interstate.

CAR BOOT SALE OLD & NEW 1st & 3rd Sundays of the month Restaurant El Pantano 9.30am - 1.30pm

(On the A356 towards Colmenar, overlooking the lake) Call Lynn 669 600 419 Sandra 619 471 301

The Plastering Service Experienced Plasterer & Rendering available.

13 years of professional service Very reasonable rates.

All types of finish available large or small areas.

References available. All area's covered.

For FREE no obligation quotes call: 6636 36 8 91 9 1 7 65 6 5 o r 6 86 4 8 7 122 12 2 mail - tpsvin@gmail.com

turn your terrace or balcony into all year round living space. w w w w w w w w

the answer - glass curtains!

Benefits: Other Products

Doesn’t spoil views Folds neatly away Elimates dust and dirt No need to bring furniture inside Warmer winter homes Increases value to property Adds security Reduces noise

Replacement Windows/Doors ---Glass cut to size ---Shower screens ---Repairs to all Glass Products ---Conservatories

HUGE SAVINGS - CALL NOW !!

Call glass curtains direct on:

Office - 952 931 464 Mobile - 626 458 954 Email: glasscurtainsdirect@gmail.com www.glasscurtains.es We also carry out all kinds of glazing repairs.

If its glass we do it.

Weston Kennels & Cattery Fully Licensed Kennels

A real home from home for your pets Over 18 years experience Collection Service Long stays our speciality We also have CAS dogs & cats looking for a home tel: 951 254 134 952 030 036

Email: terrygweston@yahoo.com we are on the torrox - Competa road, 100m from Pavo real

CONSTRUCTION SWIMMING POOLS REFORMS

TOTALLY LEGAL TOTALLY GUARANTEED

Construction Molina Quality, honest Construction Company All work totally legal No illegal work undertaken All work guaranteed Quality team of experienced builders References available

w w w w w w

CONSTRUCTION STRUCTURES MINI DIGGERS REFORMS SWIMMING POOLS RETAINING WALLS

Call for more information Spanish - Antonio: 669 181 633 English - Derek: 661 088 020

MECHANICAL TYRES WELDING

FROM CLASSICS TO MODERN DAY CARS

Paul Atkin

Car Mechanic, Body Repairs & Tyres WILL BUY EMERGENCY CALL OUT Large Premises ENGLISh SERVICE

SERVICES!!

CARS

Dents, scratches, Welding, ITV failures, servicing, Insurance, Crash repairs Grúa services, secure Parking Tyres: we will Unwanted New & Part Worn act as your Vehicles agent & sell Wheel Balancing removed your vehicle Punctures Tel: 952 030 878 To Vinuela

Email:casa-atkin@hotmail.com

We are here A-402

Garden Centre To Vinuela To Puente don Manuel

Mob: 663 515 341

To Periana

Directions: Take the Vinuela turning off the a-402, at the Garden Centre turn right and we are at the end of the road Cars for sale Stock changing weekly. See page 110

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Louise Beauty & Boutique It was advertised as the fashion event of the season and it didn’t disappoint!

The Adini and Pomodoro Spring/Summer launch party held at Louise Beauty & Boutique, in Puente don Manuel, certainly lived up to the billing.

A stunning array of wonderful summer clothing was on show by these two premier brands, beautifully displayed with colour co-ordinated accessories.

The Pomodoro Spring/Summer range is a new and welcomed addition to the boutique in what is the third season for Louise as an Adini stockist. The boutique is fast developing the reputation as the best place to shop for quality clothing and accessories, with the most competitive pricing on the costa.

But as the name suggests, the boutique is only half the equation.

Louise has over 20 years experience in beauty therapy and is the longest standing beautician in the area, having started her business in 2004.

Louise trained at Huddersfield Technical

College for three years, gaining a City & Guilds Diploma in Beauty Therapy, in 1988. From college she joined Steiner Hair and Beauty Salon, in Leeds. As the top beautician she was given the opportunity to work on board the luxury liner QE2, where she worked with a variety of clients (including celebrities).

Louise disembarked the QE2 in 1996 and went back to Yorkshire to open her own salon. She ran this successfully for seven years.

When her parents moved to Spain she eventually joined them and set up Beauty by Louise.

Louise offers a full range of beauty treatments, including facials/collagen facials, make up lessons and makeovers, waxing, shaping and tinting of eyebrows/lashes, hair removal, luxury manicures, French manicures and pedicures with foot massage, body massages and body polishes, St Tropez Self Tan and holiday packages tailored to the individual.

Louise Beauty & Boutique is open from 9.30am to 6.30pm without siesta and can be found in Puente don Manuel. Take the Velez Malaga road from the Eroski exit of the motorway and follow signs to Alhambra de Granada. This will bring you into Puente don Manuel. Turn right at Meson Sara and you will find the boutique a little way down on the right hand side, with easy parking outside.

See main advert opposite

DENtist Dr Bakri

Dentures implants & Dental Cosmetics Free check up for The Sentinella readers Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

english Dental technician Over 20 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640

ChirOPODist (Registered) Foot & Hand Care

Treatment for Corns, Veruccas & hard skin etc... Also Manicures, Pedicures Mon-Sat 9.30 - 14.00,17.00 - 21.00 Now doing Home Visits

C/Pizarra 40, (above bank), La Vinuela tel: 695 243 238

COLONiC irrigatiON A HEALTHY MOVE

Cleaning of the Colon A detox Enjoy: clearer skin, increased energy, weight loss, mental clarity and more...

Call Eileen: 951 167 238 or 609 811 879 (near Hotel Vinuela)

MR Property Services

MAN & VAN!

For all your property repairs & maintenance

Anytime...Anywhere

*Plumbing * Electrics *Kitchens *Bathrooms *Reforms *Brickwork & Tiling *Suppliers of Pool Heat Pumps Covers and Rollers

Tel: 951 247 239 Mob: 653 475 891

Locally based 12 cubic metres €25 per hour Small Loads to U.K Phone Mark: 669 255 968

POOL TABLE

BAR ATILA

INTERNET ACCESS FREE WI-FI

Food served daily Mon - Fri 10am - 9pm Sat 12pm - 8pm Sun 1pm - 5pm Sunday Roasts 3 courses 9.95€ Choice of Lamb, Beef, Pork or Chicken We wish all our customers a Happy Easter Please book for Easter Sunday Lunch, 4th April and receive an Easter Surprise!!

SKY SPORTS

Now stocking Draught Worthingtons - 3€ Draught Carling - 2.50€

ESPN

Monday nights - 8.00pm - Bingo Tuesday nights - 8.30pm - Quiz Wednesdays - 2pm - Pool Club Friday nights - 8.00pm - wii Bowling Happy Hour - Mon - Fri 6pm - 7pm (Mahou 1.25€ pint, non-branded spirit & mixer 1.75€)

Open from 6pm on Thursdays throughout April

10th April - Grand National - JOIN US!!

FOOTBALL 4pm Premiership game every Saturday Champions League Quarter & Semi Finals For information or bookings call: 685 552 529 C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel www.atilas.freezoka.com

24

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l ica crit g nove m e l h i n t i l F iew ased onbest-selbold B e Rev acclaimedby Alice S

The Lovely Bones, based on the book by Alice Sebold, is about a typical 14-year-old girl called Susie Salmon, who is murdered by a creepy neighbour on her way home from school.

But Susie is not ‘gone’ as her family initially believe. She is waiting in the ‘in between’ a near perfect world, not far away from heaven.

From here Susie can watch her family and the boy she has a crush on, from a distance. She can even watch her murderer and her father’s desperate attempts to fit the pieces together.

Through signs and feelings her family soon realise that she is not dead as they once believed. They know and understand that she is ‘out there’ somewhere.

It’s only when justice is done that Susie can let go and begin her wonderful journey into the real heaven w h i c h awaits her.

E v e n though this film touches on a difficult subject matter, the result is a beautiful insight into life after death and the world which awaits departed souls.

Star Rating - *****/***** top marks from me MIxERS

TONY’S POKERS TOOL HIRE

All types of tools Chainsaw Sharpening Service

Alcaucin Based New equipment arrived For more details call:

693 505 272 693 286 625

WACKER PLATES

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Secondhand Furniture Shop

Open Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm & Sat - 9.30am - 1pm

Book exchange available on ground floor “House Clearances”

Call Gilly on: 630 211 907

La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

PAINTING

Villas, Interior / Exterior Rejas & Garden Walls etc.

Very Competitive Rates For a free no obligation quote Phone Nick in Vinuela

On: 676 491 811 {No job too small}

ali & his staff promise to continue serving their cuisine to it´s usual high standard, ensuring the Taj Mahal (Puente) is the BesT Curry House in andalucia FrEE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle tray with all meals

special menu

everyday & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or prawn puri or chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, or Karahi accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or onion Nan Bread or Chapati

all this for only 9.50€

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito antonio) tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

Gas and Electric Boilers/Heaters Serviced

TORRO

The Best Clima

t Monday Marke The Original Full A La Carte Eat what YOU CaN MENU

New shop now open in torrox Costa 952 967 722

ONLY 12.95€ 7 days a week, 364 days a year

Laguna Beach Tel: 951 047 943 Mob: 627 141 966 Summer Opening Hours 2pm - Midnight 7 days a week

OX COSTA The Wellbeing Centre Special Offer for April Aromatherapy Back Massage 20 €

Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Comercial B, No.16, Torrox Costa

ate In Europe!!!

Lighthouse LEws Fish & ChiPs traditional English Fish & Chips Eat in or take away Edf ruselo, avda Faro tel: 952 532 633 Opening times: Mon - sun 10am - 10pm

power Vibrating plate

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a t s o C Torrox

Contact aPP Properties if you’re looking

n for a property. They have a wide range of to go i Wherethis month. country houses and apartments for sale in the Axarquia region. If you have a property Torrox

Torrox Costa boasts the best climate in Europe – I’m not sure if this is the case after months of rain, but each new day leads us one day closer to summer and then it’s flip flops and iced drinks all the way…! Let’s check out what businesses are worth a mention this month: Enjoy a delicious meal at Flamenco Fusion. There’s plenty to choose from via the menu, as well as a range of special fish dishes. Plus,show The Sentinella and receive a free glass of wine or beer! Flamenco Fusion hosts live flamenco shows Tuesday through to Sundays nights. You can also join their popular flamenco dance classes. Call to find out what’s going on at Flamenco Fusion during April.

At Café bar Nautico you could win a prize at the Egg painting competition, being held on Easter Sunday, 3pm. Just bring your own painted egg to be in with a chance. A turkey baguette bap can be bought on the day for only 2.50€ - perfect for a lunchtime snack! This month’s quiz night is on Friday 9th from 7.30pm and the Tuesday afternoon quiz is on 13th & 27th from 35pm. Due to popular demand fish & chips are now available on Thursdays and Fridays from midday onwards. There are now two TV screens showing all the sports events.

to sell they’re well worth contacting as they offer very competitive commission rates.

Visit aPP informatica for all your computer needs. There are some great offers on laptop and PC sales at the moment.

Gobble traditional English fish and chips from Lews Fish and Chips. You can eat in or take away. Mmmm I can smell them just writing about them!

Eat as many Indian dishes as you like at the Light of india for only 12,95€. And you’ll never find it closed as it’s open seven days a week.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is a

Get your Business noticed in Torrox Just 20 euros per month Call 664 210 468

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

little bit of your own attention. Ladyzonely gym is where a little bit of that gets you great results.

There’s a new concept in the tuition of Spanish at mba centro de formación. All levels of Spanish are catered for.

At the Continental Bar on Easter Sunday the staff are serving a scrummy lunch.

Choose from beef, pork or lamb. Win a

Creme Egg if you can answer the following Easter Sunday Lunch question: ‘How is the date of Easter calculated each year?’ Tuesday nights are quiz nights with free entry and prizes. The quiz starts at 9.30pm.

Lewis insurance new in Torrox, provides cover for cars, vans, 4x4´s, motorbikes, UK and Spanish plates, plus medical insurance, household, pets and more! Con

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Torrox C osta tact them today for a quote.

Introducing the VibraTrim at the rebeccah Curtis wellbeing Centre. Vibrate away the pounds in 10 minute sessions.

The sessions improve circulation and muscle tone, reduces cellulite and increase bone density. Vibration training can be safely used to increase general fitness levels for everybody, from the fitness fanatic to the very unfit. It’s an ideal method for busy people and costs only 4€ per session, or 10 sessions for 30€. No appointment is necessary.

If you want to replenish your spring wardrobe then Casa Moda Natural is worth a call-in; the boutique with the special touch.

At La Bodega De Luciano you’ll find some great traditional Spanish tapas, order a drink and get one free. The bar has a large screen TV to keep punters entertained. For all your printing; business cards, flyers, posters, etc, visit i-dea. See advert for a great April offer.

Stock up on your British food at russell´s British store. With the biggest selection of British food and household products in Torrox Costa. And finally, if you want to get your business noticed in the Torrox area from as little as 20€ per month call 664 210 468 for further information.

For details on these businesses see the Torrox feature on pages 26 - 29

ClInICa eURopa English Dentist:

Medicine

w

Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. General Medicine (univ. of London)

w

Paediatrics

w

Physiotherapy

w

Acupuncture

w

Reflexology

(univ. of London)

w w

Harley St. Dentist of 25 years Take advantage of your free second opinion before you start your treatment. w NEW NEW air jet cleaner to remove all stains. w Competitive prices

NEW: Implant Specialist Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com

Hair by Patsy: Cuts, re-style, colour & tints, perming or just a wash and blow dry.

Mobile treatments available by appointment.

Our Salon also offers Beauty & Massage treatments including Hot Stone and Indian Head Massage.

Gift Vouchers available.

For an appointment call: Patsy: 679 562 328 Mo: 663 564 699 Hotel 952 52 75 94 Ask for the Peluqueria tuesdays - saturdays 10am - 7pm

Casa Maria

Under New Management Opening Party 10th April FREE Buffet and Live Music Jam Nights - Mondays Wii Nights - Wednesdays Bar-B-Que - Thursdays (coming soon) Open 9am - Late 7 days a week Call: 667 954 901 or 664 259 968 TORROX PARK (bar on the goat track)

INTERMEZZO

12 DIFFERENT BEERS-32 DIFFERENT TAPAS OPEN TUESDAY - SUNDAY OPEN AT 10AM FOR BREAKFAST ALL FRESHLY COOKED TO ORDER SMOKED FISH DISHES EVERY FRIDAY - COD, CHIPS, PEAS & TARTARE SAUCE 7.50€

Call: 608 466 410

Avda. Espana, Blq Montecarlo Torrox Costa (Situated behind the Repsol Garage, just head for the beach)

HOME HEALTHCARE

HTC TyTN ii Mobile Phone Brand new in box!!

Unlocked with Tom Tom Europe installed

More powerful than any mobile communications device you've seen before.

9 times faster than 3G

Our Non Urgent Home Health Service is open 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Call now and an experienced GP will visit you in your home, workplace or hotel, normally within three hours, 12 hours a day Monday - Saturday. w SimpleCare’s rapid response visiting doctor service will get an experienced GP to you in about three hours, 9am to 9pm, Monday - Saturday w Our doctors are all fully qualified, experienced and accustomed to treating private patients with fast-moving lifestyles. w If you need referral to a specialist, this can be arranged rapidly, sometimes within the hour in emergency cases, using our network of top specialists and leading hospitals. A prompt referral like this can sometimes be a life-saver.

Please note that for very serious or life threatening conditions, you should dial 061 for an ambulance

For more information call: 952 768 315

Expert medical care straight to your door

The HTC TyTN II takes global connectivity to the next level. With an internet connection via 3.5G hSDPA that is 9 times faster than 3G, using the TyTN II to download files and surf the Web is a breeze. With a complete suite of Microsoft® Office Mobile applications, being out of the office doesn't have to mean you're out of the loop.

Always ready for business and pleasure, the HTC TyTN II makes sure you are too.

These phones cost nearly 500€ to buy

only 200 euros

Call: 664 689 138

Clinica Casa Blanca

Urb. Jardines del Mar, Blq C3, Torrox Costa (near garden Centre, 1km direction Nerja)

Do you suffer from back problems, pain in neck or shoulders, tightness in muscles, joint discomfort, migraine or internal ailments?

The BOWEN TECHNIQUE is gentle and works on the whole body for inflammation, illness and pain. The treatment is safe and appropriate for everyone, from newborn babies to the frail and elderly.

We also offer massage, lymphatic drainage and other treatments.

Now: Yoga lessons & meditation (call for more details) NOW STOCKISTS OF “FOREVER LIVING PRODUCTS” Inc. Minerals and Aloe Vera Products. Call for further details

Tel: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 (also home visits) Ask about gift vouchers

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La Vaqueria

Mumbo Jumbo Holistic medicine; miracle cure or mumbo jumbo? The latter is a common reaction for many of us, often due to an inborn skepticism about all things unexplained, a lack of knowledge or a natural aversion to swishy skirts, flowing locks and jangly bracelets! Fear of change and an unwillingness to try something new frequently puts people off but, let’s face it, there are not many of these so called cures which are actually new. Yoga is believed to have originated in India some 26,000 years ago, Tai Chi has been actively practiced by westerners since the 1500´s and the latest craze, Feng Shui, is an ancient Chinese teaching combining both astronomy and geography. If so many people have adhered to these teachings for so long, what is it that holds the rest of us back?

I have to admit to having supported the mumbo jumbo school of thought for a great deal of my adult life. Up until recently that is when a four-day treatment of Reiki made me feel better than I have in ages.

This is a Japanese healing massage which has been developed since 1922.

Unobtrusive and administered fully clothed, I’d recommend it to anyone suffering from unwelcome aches and pains.

Such was my enthusiasm for alternative treatments that my next appointment was a facial massage with aloe vera, cut straight from the plant and administered immediately. This massage was sooo relaxing and left the skin extremely soft and

revitalised.

If you think about it there is no reason to be quite so sure that it is all a load of rubbish. After all, how many of you ‘touch wood’, or believe that accidents come in threes? These all stem from some ancient mysticism I presume, and yet, along with the three little pigs, the three billy goats gruff and Goldilock’s three bears, they have made it into our lives.

Within the last fortnight my dishwasher broke, closely followed by the washing machine and the oven coming in as runner up.

The first two were irreparable but third time lucky, an electrocuted mouse was located and removed from the ovens wiring! A new washing machine was deemed a necessity so I raced off to town to track one down with a possible three destinations in mind, desperate to fit them all in before closing. Was it fate that governed my choice of which to visit first? On the third attempt a parking space was procured and desired machine diligently loaded into back of car! Not only that, but when I arrived home, a neighbour happened to be passing. He kindly installed it and after we had pressed all of the buttons it works, rekindling my belief in the Karma, the ancient Indian belief that our fates are derived from the fruits of our actions. This means that our actions shape our past, present and future. That’s great news as it means I must have done something good in a former life after all.

Mumbo Jumbo? Huh!

www.thesentinella.com

E re nqui te ser ries l: 9 va 52 tio & 51 ns 7

, of on p m to o Li Osa y rg ro a r Ma / C Na BE

OPEN MON - Fri 10am - 8pm & sat 10am - 2pm

Gifts, Souvenirs, Hand Made Crafts, Morrocan Pots, Garden Plants, Craft Materials and Much, Much More!

Coffee, cakes, snacks, lunches & afternoon tea

L OF Ots   st NEw OC k

FRIDAY FEAST

Informal meal for ladies to eat together, 7pm

www.la_vaqueria.com

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3

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y n n Fu Pics

ture mix e l t th! e lit Nic is mon th

Chec

m Go on

k out

the p late!

! y son!

A true romantic!

oe t try t ´ n o “D

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Who a te

www.thesentinella.com

all th e pie

s?

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

39 105

Easter Egg Facts All the things you needed to know about those most delicious chocolate eggs!

Eggs were traditionally used in pre-Christian festivals as the symbol of new life, purity or fertility. Later customs concerning eggs were linked with Easter because the egg provided a fresh and powerful symbol of the Resurrection and the transformation of death into life.

Decorating and colouring Hen, Duck or Goose eggs for Easter was the custom in England during the Middle Ages. The household accounts of Edward I, for the year 1290, recorded an expenditure of eighteen pennies for four hundred and fifty eggs to be gold-leafed and coloured for Easter gifts.

The first chocolate Easter egg was produced in 1873 by Fry's.

The auctioneers Christie's sold a diamond

encrusted Faberge egg in November 2007 for £9m.

Approximately 80 million chocolate eggs are sold annually in the UK. The most popular chocolate egg worldwide is Cadbury's Creme Egg, they first went on sale in 1971.

Easter chocolate sales make up 10% of Britain's annual spending on chocolate. £280million was spent on Easter eggs in the 4 days leading up to Easter 2008. £32.7million was spent on Fairtrade Easter chocolate products in 2008.

Easter eggs for 2010 went on sale in Tescos on New Years day 2010 Nestle's plans to reduce the amount of packaging around their Easter eggs by 25%.

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Book Excerpt Sol Searching – A Fun-Filled Tale of a Modern Girl’s Move to the Costa del Sol – tells of Keidi Keating’s quest to make friends, meet the man of her dreams and find a job (starting this wonderful magazine)!

Taken from the chapter entitled A New Love I wandered to the rock and saw Dave sitting outside a beach bar. He greeted me with two kisses. As our cheeks brushed I felt a surge of energy pass between us and my whole body came alive.

“Hi” he said. “Great to see you again.

You’re looking good.”

“Thanks,” I said. “You don’t look ‘alf bad either!”

Jesus, I came out with some really dorky things when I felt nervous! Dave laughed.

He had all the attributes of a middle-aged man, including wisdom, experience and

B O a r D i N g C at t E rY Canillas de aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat.

Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy.

Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access.

We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs.

(A 10% discount will be offered on your first booking) We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated.

Also, we can provide a collection and delivery service.

For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735

maturity; a sexy recipe for a twentyfive year old, who was sick and tired of meeting young lads more interested in getting pissed, than conversing on an intellectual level.

“So how does my advert look?”

“I upgraded you to a good page for free” I said, running my eyes over his tanned skin and firm body.

“Well in that case allow me to buy you a drink. We could share a bottle of wine.”

We chatted a lot and I learnt that he was in tune with his spiritual side; a typical earthy kind, at one with nature and all that. Mountains were his life and soul. I found myself fancying him even more. He was

Experienced, Professional & Reliable all year service. Pool Cleaning, Chemicals, Accessories or just advice. ~~ Let us look after your property.

Cleaning - Laundry - Holiday Changeover - Gardening Guest Relations - Welcome Packs Key Holding - Monthly Reports & more to give TOTAL peace of mind for you, your guests & your property.

References available on request

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

41 105

Book Excerpt (continued)

Nice Sweets!

attractive, cool and very laid back. Our body language spoke volumes, as we edged closer throughout the bottle of wine.

Dave poured the last drops into my glass and his face was literally inches from my mine. Our gazes met and for a moment I felt like the Earth had stopped spinning.

“I suppose you have to rush off to another appointment now” said Dave, as I gulped the last of the wine.

“No. Actually, I don’t have any more appointments today.”

He smiled.

“Well in that case how about heading to the beach for a while?”

The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:

Sol Searching can be purchased online via www.Amazon.co.uk or www.Amazon.com It is also available from The Sentinella stall at the Tuesday Country Farmer’s Market, and from Arkwrights in Puente don Manuel. See Keidi’s Sol Searching blog: www.Sol-Searching.com

Red - Cherry Yellow - Lemon Green - Lime Orange - Orange Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue.

It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're arse-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

BUGSY CONSTRUCTION *Qualified Builders *7 years experience working in Spain *Reforms *New Builds *Tiling *Plumbing *Electrical *Pools *Patios *Extensions and more Has your house become damp?

Can't afford the expensive route?

Damp proof paint now available Spanish & English spoken Visit our clients for a reference For a no hassle free quotation

Phone: 673 651 272

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43

AxarCareTM Property Management & Maintenance Services As we all look forward to the start of the summer many property owners are looking at their properties and assessing the effects another terrible winter has had on their properties. Some absent property owners are visiting their properties for the first time this year to find untold problems. Don’t worry help is at hand! AxarCare™ provides all the necessary services to put things right.

AxarCare™ offers one of the most comprehensive property management and holiday rental management services in this area, with many satisfied clients.

The company is a Holiday Rental Management specialist, working with and advising clients on managing their holiday properties, which allows property owners to offer holiday accommodation with a wide range of professional services and options for their potential clients. AxarCare™ owners stand out from the competition by offering a higher quality property rental experience which can lead to increased new and repeat bookings.

some of the services offered by the company include: · Professional maid and cleaning services, including between rental turn rounds and start of season spring cleaning. · Meet and Greet and other guest services. · Pool cleaning and maintenance service reducing the need for constant excessive use of chemicals. AxarCare™ pool owners are amazed at the improvement of their pool when it is professionally managed. · Gardens maintained. · 24/7 customer support and call out service exclusive to their property owners and guests. This service gives complete peace of mind to both the property owner and their holiday rental tenants.

AxarCare™ has a comprehensive website (www.axarcare.com) that details all services currently provided. If the service you are seeking is not listed, contact them via the online enquiry form or give them a call on 616 809 423.

AxarCare™ is always happy to accommodate your requirements.

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New Restaurant New Taiwanese Themed RestaurantModern Toilet is a Taipei restaurant. It accommodates 100 seats with each made from toilet bowls. The specialities at the restaurant accompany sink faucets and gender-coded 'WC' signs that appear on the three-storey structure. The food is served in mini plastic toilet bowls. The toilet rolls that serve for wiping hand and mouth are hung above the tables, which resemble glass-topped jumbo bathtubs.

Hmmmm! Ice cream looks appetising!

Local, National and European Removals Airfreight Shipments and Overseas Removals Worldwide Reliable, swift and delicate handling of your personal belongings, either for your domestic or international removal or for storage purposes.

Salobrena Based - New Removals Store Opening 3rd April Great Service, Fair Price

Tel: 685 360 193

www.arnoldremovals.es

THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos)

Has now moved to new Premises Beauty Treatments

Pedicures w Manicures w Collagen Facials w Massage w Hopi Ear Candles w Hot Stone Massage w Aromatherapy Massage w Reiki w Waxing w Self tan Treatment w Reflexology and Lots More!!

FILE & VARNISH ONLY 5 EUROS

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist.

(BSC Hons; RSA)

Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation inc. treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing & lymphatic massage.

Acrylic & Gel Nail Extensions by Sophie Call in to view samples of her stunning work.

Unisex Hairdressers

We are now open 6 days a week Mon - Sat and also late nights by appointment only.

Please call in or contact the Salon for a FREE consultation with one of our highly qualified Stylists

Electrolysis

Electrolysis, an effective treatment that permanently removes unwanted facial and body hair because it attacks the hair follicle itself.

Contact us for further information and a FREE consultation.

SPECIAL OFFER BOOK A COURSE OF 5 RECEIVE 1 FREE

Non-Surgical Face-Lift Treatment

Using micro-current to lift underlying muscles, thereby smoothing and reducing fine lines and wrinkles increasing circulation to improve skin texture SPECIAL OFFER - B OOK A COURSE OF 10 RECEIVE 2 FREE Gift Vouchers available for all treatments

For Beauty Treatments please call: 647 875 223 For Hair please call: 693 740 575

46

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ds Galleta – We all love dipping a biscuit or h oo ight f s h i s m le two into a mug of hot tea from time to time. n ni a pa tter Grumb the Oreos are a very popular biscuit here in p S although you’re supposed to dip S ds ctionhotfhe olemacvhading Spain, them in milk, according to the TV advert. o ele g wit ur st ou infy! o s f s o F Thiginninake yhave yin a ji Gambas – For some reason I dreamt

be st m h to idge ju oug fr en Gazpacho – A cold tomato and cucumber soup from Andalucía, delicious as a summer starter on a hot day…

about prawns last night! I like them prepeeled, served on a salad and drizzled with a blend of olive oil and lemon juice. However, I totally despise ripping off the shells and getting stinky fingers.

Granada – This isn’t referring to the City of… It’s in actual fact a pomegranate! My boyfriend’s father grows them in his countryside house in Cartama and they’re always incredibly yummy, bursting with seeds and flavour.

Garbanzos – These are chickpeas and you can buy them either dried in packets, or wet in jars. I like to order the Chana Masala dish from the local Indian restaurant as the core ingredient is chickpeas.

Guisantes – If you’re fond of them these are peas. Personally peas are my least favourite vegetable in the world. Totally

Gelatina – It’s not too difficult to work out what this one means. A clue, it’s a popular dessert for children’s parties and it wobbles on the plate. That’s it, jelly!

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

47 105

Adult Q & A´s

A quick Q & A sequence for the more broad-minded of us

priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q. What's the difference between a GSpot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a

Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

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$$$ Share´oscope $$$

Del Boy’s Dodgers

Oooh la la, it's time to fix our beady little eye on the Share'oscope once again to see what's cooking in the world of stocks and shares.

Continuing our feature on certain businesses that The Sentinella no longer have any association with.

This month the intrepid Mr Stockmarket has purchased 222 Greggs Bakery shares, at 450p each.

He told The Sentinella: "Greggs the bakers are doing just fine. Profits are up, they are opening more shops, and the dividends are up too!"

Last month Mr Stockmarket purchased Inmarsat at 724p. They are now up to 771p, so that's something well worth shouting about, hey?!

Fast profits in slow times... ;-) Join us again next month when we see if the recent acquisitions are pulling their weight....

THE MECHANICAL DOCTORS

Sadly after 9 months of success we can report that we no longer have any association with the following Company: HHO Systems - David Porter

MECHANICAL GARAGE REPAIRS TO ALL VEHICLES 4 X 4 & LIGHT COMMERCIALS RECONDITIONING OF ENGINES & GEARBOXES QUICK SERVICE FOR OIL, BRAKES & CLUTCHES PICK UP & DELIVERY

CaLLE de FraNsisCO de gOYa POL. iND. La PaNOLEta VELEZ - MaLaga

tEL: 951 28 44 26 MOB: MiChaEL 671 758 375 mechanical_doctors@yahoo.co.uk

FULL DIAGNOSTIC CHECK PRE ITV ( MOT ) PRESENT CAR FOR ITV CAR & VAN HIRE

Pino Electricidad special Offer:

special Offer:

69,95€

119€

special Offer:

7,95€

CEiLiNg FaN 3 speed 5 paddles Reversible Width 132cms

hUMiDiFiEr 40dB 300W Washable air filter 2.5L capacity special Offer:

33,95€

MOsQUitO rEPELLENt Light BULB 13W Yellow special Offer:

15,95€

MiNi CEiLiNg FaN 3 speed, Reversible 3 paddles Width 91cms

special Offer:

39,95€ sMart iNsECt kiLLEr with ventilator auto cut off 7W bulb

CEiLiNg FaN 3 speed, Reversible, 4 paddles Width 105cms, Available in white

Custudio Puga, 9-a tOrrE DEL Mar tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

l e o o P agu potting !

G et Le The Sentinella with the fixtures &

League standings of the Torrox Costa Pool League Please feel free to pop along to your local bar. You never know they may be looking for better players!!

April Fixtures 1st Ribhouse 1 v Pavo Real El Pino v Bar Tabla 1 Continental v Casa Maria 1 Bar Tabla 2 v Bolero Casa 2 v Ribhouse 2 8th Doubles night at Casa Maria

Before summer tips Hard landscaping, pest control, scarifiying, re-seeding grass, feeding your plants, checking + replacing irrigation & fruit tree grafting.

15th Continental v Ribhouse 1 Bar Tabla 1 v Casa Maria 1 El Pino v Bar Tabla 2 Casa Maria 2 v Pavo Real Ribhouse 2 v Bolero This is the last month of fixtures for the Pool League this year.

The Pool presentation will be held at the Rib House on Friday the 30th April at 8pm

TEAM PAVO REAL CONTINENTAL EL PINO BOLERO RIBHOUSE 2 CASA MARIA 2 BAR TABLA 1 BAR TABLA 2 RIBHOUSE 1 CASA MARIA 1

Play Points 13 97 14 91 13 84 13 77 14 76 14 75 14 67 14 59 13 54 OUT OUT

Services wTelephone messaging service wTranslation service

Building work

wMake appointments with doctors, dentists, lawyers, etc. and escort if required wNegotiating insurances at competitive prices

Painting

wLiase with approved craftsmen with 24 hour service wMake appointments for ITV wAct on client´s behalf regarding complaints

Plumbing

Gardening

Electrical work

Pool Maintenance

with utility services wTax advice wHouse, garden and pool maintenance wAluminium, PVC windows, carpentry and all kinds of reforms of the house wLegalisation of buildings wNIE & Residence certificates wSelf employment registration wSocial security wApplication/Renewal of Spanish driving licences wCar transfer of Ownership & Importation & much, much more

Slip Road

Avda. Andalucía Global People Service

Slip Road

Cajamar

Avda. Andalucía, 61-E Bajo torre del Mar

Tel: 952 542 324 info@globalpeopleservice.com www.globalpeopleservice.com

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Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing – imagine that!

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.

Give this a try!

Listen for the popping sounds.

When the chicken's arse blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it's done and ready to eat.

And, you thought I couldn't cook…

Ingredients: 4 - 5lb chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn Salt/pepper to taste Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

We specialise in Ribs, Wings, Steaks

Ribs!! t s u j t o N torrox Costa - Block 88

Credit Cards Taken

and Chicken QUIZ NIGHT Last Saturday in month

(Next to tennis courts & auto 2000)

tel: 95 253 2369, 696 516 534.

MR ‘wants CLUTTER your goods’ *House and Garage clearances *Shops and Bars - old stock * Now buying; Antiques, Gold & Jewellery Call David on: 686 375 089 or email a list to: cullimores@hotmail.com Cash available and efficient service

“SO DON’T BE A NUTTER,

SELL IT TO MR CLUTTER ”

Closed Mondays

Call for more information

ACADEMIA GALA SpaniSh CourSeS intenSive & ConverSational all levelS available Including for children starting school C/Fragata, 6, Torre del Mar

tel: 952 54 40 39

MANZ

(Formerly Manz & Garcia in Torre del Mar)

PVC & ALumINIum WINdOWS & dOOrS

15% Discount

On going Offers!!!

SALE/INSTALLATION:

w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Mobile: 608 241 429

Email: manzygarcia@gmail.com

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g n i z a s and holdstudy m A ma l down , as we … t e Ani Saedrdelignslltoigphing horse s a tho the g

One of the first horses was called a Hyracotherium. It lived about 50 million years ago, was as tall as a fox and it had toes!

This horse changed over millions of years to become a modern horse.

The world's horse population is estimated at 75,000,000.

The average lifespan for a horse is around 20 - 25 years, although they can live up to 30 years.

The oldest horse recorded to date is Old

Billy, an English Barge horse who lived to the age of 62.

The smallest pony in history was a stallion named Little Pumpkin. He stood 14 inches and weighed only 20 lbs!

There are over 350 different breeds of horses and ponies.

When spoken to, horses distinguish tones rather than particular words.

The longest tail measured was 22ft long was grown by an American Palomino named Chinook.

The longest mane was 18ft long and grown by a Californian mare named Maude.

CONstrUCtiON & hirE Parajae Los Rosajes S.L. Alcaucin English: 696 547 646 Spanish: 636 219 689 Time served NhBC Builder with 40 years experience in Construction POOLS, EXTENSIONS NEW BUILDS, BRICKWORK TILING, PLUMBING ELECTRICAL SEWAGE & WATER TANKS PLASTERING CONCRETE & STONE WALLS MATERIALS SUPPLIED MACHINE HIRE (with or without driver) Ask to see our work why break your back? small digger / leveller for hire Perfect for garden etc.

ONLY 90€ a day (8 hours) Delivery free in Lake area

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

55 105

Amazing Animals (continued) You can tell how old a horse is by how many teeth it has. A horse gets all of its teeth by the time it is five years old. After that, they just get longer.

The world speed record for a horse is 43.2mph. It was set by a four-year-old race horse named Big Racket.

Horses can communicate how they are feeling by their facial expressions.

They use their ears, nostrils, and eyes to show their moods. Beware of a horse that has flared nostrils and their ears back.

That means it might attack!

Most foals are born at night under the

cover of darkness and away from prying eyes and possible danger.

In the wild horse world, the mare decides when and where the herd will go while the stallion follows.

Horses can drink up to ten gallons of water a day.

China not only has the most people in the world, but also has the most Horses with 10,000,000 Horses cannot vomit.

Horses have a good sense of memory. If you've been with the same horse for a long time, they’ll remember you, but if you haven’t they usually won’t remember you.

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Student Howlers No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it's not far enough for today's pupils. But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.

Do You. Care ?

Care working in the UK - Country Cousins is the UK’s leading private care specialist introduction agency, providing live-in care mainly for the elderly and infirm, enabling people to remain in their own homes for longer

Many Country Cousins live here in Spain returning to the UK frequently or every now and then for two weeks or more assignments.

If you are interested in earning between £930 - £1,185 for 15 days (one client) or £1,005 - £1,530 (two clients) by becoming a Country Cousin, please call Jennie or Barry for more information on: 625 807 504 or 952 115 305 (evenings)

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our

SHOWROOM at LAKE VINUELA IN ORDER TO GIVE CLIENTS INDIVIDUAL ATTENTION PLEASE PHONE FOR AN APPOINTMENT BEFORE VISITING. WE ARE SITUATED AT KM29 (ON RIGHT) OFF A356 1KM PAST CAMPING & PANTANO RESTAURANT. WE ARE SIGNPOSTED FROM THERE. FREE PLAYMAT OR TOY FOR THE DURATION OF THE HIRE.

‘NEW STOCK FISHER PRICE JUMPEROO’ From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers.

Everything you need for when little ones come to visit.

COME AND SEE US AT KM29 ON THE A356

PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: www.nurseryneeds.com EMAIL: dawn@nurseryneeds.com

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Solar Shade - Professional Window Tinting Do you want to remove excessive heat and glare from your home office or car without blocking out the sun?

tering the room, reducing 40+ Celsius to 25-30 Celsius. As a result the air con doesn't work to hard, so money is saved.

Many of us from northern Europe come here for the benefits of the year-round sunshine and because of this we want our homes and offices to let in as much light as possible. However, we then suffer the effect of fading furniture, glare when relaxing and excessive heat, which drives up air conditioning costs.

There is a relatively inexpensive way around it; Solar Control Window Film, supplied and fitted to glass curtains, glazed balconies, conservatories, cars, yachts, etc…Where there's glass, that's where we at Solarshade stick it!

What does Solar Control film do? Well, it controls the solar heat build-up from en-

The window film comes in many different colours and shades, including silver, bronze, blue, green and black and once installed it is maintenance free, adds privacy to homes, practically removes fading and enhances the look of the building or vehicle.

Go on, improve your living environment!

Save up to 50% compared to conventional retaining walls

If you'd like to know more email solarshadetinting@gmail.com or call us on 958 503 214 or 644 546 176 See our main advert on page 106

Dry-stone Gabion Walls Do it yourself or we supply and erect. Up to 50% saving against conventionally built stone walls

Do it yourself kits supplied with full instructions and advice or we can supply and erect using our own fully qualified staff.

All products delivered direct from the manufacturer in the UK No planning required No architects drawings No long waits for building licences Suitable for landslips, retaining wall solutions & ornate landscaping All Gabion baskets are guaranteed for over 50 years against corrosion Gabions act as natural drainage so no water diversions are necessary No sand or cement needed

For a FREE no obligation quote & site survey call:

952 516 218 / 660 792 282 O r v i si t ou r ne w webs i te www.gabionspain.com / gabionspain@gmail.com We would like to apologise to anyone who contacted us via email recently and did not receive a response. This was due to a technical problem, of which has now been resolved. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

The Lemon Tree “El Limonero” Lounge Bar

Graham & Vanessa would like you to join them Meet up with your friends to share & taste a plate or two.

This Easter 2nd and 3rd of April Why not come to the famous El Paso in Riogordo Come and Visit us before or after the play, take a chilled glass of wine or a cool beer on the new covered terrace or relax on the sofa while you look at our menu Food served all day from 12 midday till late Friday and Saturday

Put in your diaries 30th April Live music with “Mr Sister” oPeN THursDay, frIDay & saTurDay 6PM - laTe

Calle Vienteocho de febrero riogordo

(Turn right and right again at the Painted Star on the road)

Por informacion: the-lemon-tree@hotmail.co.uk

Call: 620 3535 94 find us on

ArKWrIGHTS

The British Store & More Puente don Manuel MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE & TURN RIGHT AT VENTA BAJA CROSSROADS TO ARKWRIGHT’S

OFFER FOR APRIL

10% OFF ALL CAKES & BISCUITS ON TOP OF OUR MONTHLY OFFERS WE HAVE DECIDED TO INTRODUCE “AN OFFER OF THE WEEK”, WE SHALL CHOOSE A PARTICULAR PRODUCT EACH WEEK TO DISCOUNT.

winter Opening hours: Monday - saturday 9am - 7pm sunday 10am - 4 pm

ArKWrIGHTS Open ALL “Ours” Puente don Manuel

STOP PRESSS!

After months of planning due to popular demand, we now have the required licence to offer a delivery service – this will be a set area where we shall be for half an hour on a set day. You may visit our website, telephone or email an order or just take pot luck that we have what you require. We are going to introduce “a shop” to our website, but this will take time as 8,000 items are not easy to prepare.

A list of the days & times are on the website & in the shop, if your town is not there please let us know, we obviously can only introduce a “new area” if there is a demand for it.

Another new item introduced is our “newsletter”.

Sign up on the website to be the first to know of any offers or new products which are arriving before the adverts hit the streets. Do not worry if you do not have the internet, call into the shop for a copy behind the till.

STOP PRESSS! 952 519 780 951 167 674

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: www.arkwrights-groceries.com

62

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24HR...

PLUMBING, DRAINAGE ALL GAS APPLIANCES MINOR ELECTRICAL WORK & SOLAR PANELS

Unblocked, Serviced Repaired or Installations, all work undertaken, Former UK British Gas Trained & Dyno Rod Engineers all fully qualified English & Spanish speaking

CALL

666 123 055 952 514 333

Speed Control In Canada Speed controls being used in Eastern Canada. How's this for speed control?

I don't know about you, but this would certainly slow me down!

People slow down and try to "straddle" the hole ....

This is actually a speed control device that is in use.

It is much cheaper than speed cameras.

Pretty clever - especially when moved around each day.

iF YOU haVE a PrOPErtY FOr saLE Or rENt - PLEasE CaLL Us Phone: 952 554 235 / 626 038 851 Email: sally@axarquiaproperties.com

sally harrison Owner / agent

as2249 sedella 280,000€

as2301 Iznate 65,000€ Immaculate, newly renovated 44m2 one bedroom house with balcony

as2060 Comares 60,000€ 3 bedroom 117m2 village house with large lounge with fireplace on top floor

villa on a fenced plot

as2193 triana 199,000€

as2147 Benamargosa 99,500€

as2136 Benamargosa 150,000€

2 bedroom villa

3 bedroom,

Great Value!

with casita, orchards

2 bathroom,

3 bedroom house with

and sea views

133m2 village house

2 bedroom apartment

3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 119m2

www.axarquiaproperties.com

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BEM idiomas I have now lived in Spain for three years and two months. Goodness me, doesn’t time goes fast!

When I was packing my bags in England many thoughts whirled around my head, like, “how will I cope with the language barrier?”, “will I be able to get by ok if I need something?”, “what about in an emergency… How will I tell people what´s wrong?” But the main one was, “when I’ve lived in Spain for a certain amount of time, I´ll pick up the language, no problem.”

Huh… fat chance! Three years down the line and my Spanish language skills still aren’t at the level I had hoped for.

But it´s not all doom and gloom. After 14 months of lessons at BEM Idiomas, for just two hours a week, I have progressed leaps and bounds, now feeling much more confident with the lingo. Something that surprises me is that when engaged in conversations with other English people, I have started using the odd Spanish word, like nada, hola, gracias, mañana, si, sólo etc…So, hey, maybe I’m now starting this language journey for real!

School of Languages sPaNish COUrsEs

NEW SESSION

¡Hablamos! Let’s Speak Every Fri - 12 - 2pm Call for details

info@bemidiomas.com www.bemidiomas.com Camino viejo de Malaga, 12C - Velez Malaga

(952 54 92 33

Este mes, escribo un chiste en español, espero que lo entendáis This month I write a joke in Spanish, I hope you understand it. ¿Qué le dice un semáforo a otro?

No me mires, que me estoy cambiando What did one traffic light say to the other?

Don't look at me, as I'm getting changed.

Una alumna, un tanto tímidamente, le pregunta a la profesora: Señorita, ¿me pueden castigar por algo que no he hecho?

Claro que no.

Pues entonces tengo que decirle que no he hecho los deberes.

A student, somewhat timidly, asks the teacher: Miss, can they punish me for something that I have not done?

Of course not Well then. I have to tell you that I haven't done my homework.

Have fun with learning Spanish… Pop in and see Viviane at BEM idiomas, who will discuss the right course/lessons for you.

Costafreeze

RUMOURS - We are not closing down as some may say, we are in fact getting bigger.

We are now stocking dried goods too. Eg: 240 PG Tips for 6.65€, 28 slices of bacon 6.25€, 4 cans of Crosse & Blackwell baked beans 1.25€ and many more tremendous offers. We can deliver your whole weekly shopping for 10€!! If we do not deliver to your area please call us, we are here to help. We have a fully refrigerated freezer van which stocks the most popular items such as; Cod, Smoked Haddock, Lamb Shanks, Chicken, Sausages, Burgers etc.. but to ensure you receive everything you want it is best to order online and then we can deliver to your neighbourhood. We are totally committed to providing you with the best service at competitive prices to the inland campo area and coastal from Torre del Mar to Nerja. Why be penalised for living in the campo when you can have your favourite English food delivered to you for 10€. Look for us in the Telefurgo van.

Delivery Charges

wednesdays & saturdays

Less than 10 items - 1€ per item More than 10 items as follows: Orders to the value of 75€ - 10€ Orders between 75€ - 150€ - 15€ Orders between 150€ - 250€ - 20€ Orders between 250€ - 400€ - 30€ Orders over 400€ - 50€

Carpark opposite Pasatiempo bookshop:

Delivery times tuesdays & Fridays trapiche Market,trapiche 10.30 - 12.30pm (Tuesdays only) Chiringuito antonio Market, Puente don Manuel: 10.30 - 12.30pm (Fridays only) sales office Urb. Pueblo ana Maria: 12.45 - 1.15pm tiffanys bar Puente don Manuel: 1.30 - 2pm Urb. los Olivios Buena Vista: 2.15 - 3pm Coach park Frigilana: 3.30 - 4pm Pavo real restaurant Competa: 4.30 - 5.15pm square next to taurus real Estate, Competa: 5.30 - 6pm

torre del Mar: 11.30am - 12pm axarquia golf shop, Caleta: 12.15pm - 12:30pm Cafe Bar Nautico torrox Costa: 12.45pm - 1.15pm Lews Fish and Chips torrox Costa: 1.30pm - 2pm El Pino bar campsite torrox Park: 2.15pm - 2.45pm El ancla torrox Costa: 3pm - 3.30pm Bar Punta Lara Nerja: 3.45pm - 4.15pm acorn/Maxwell/El Bosque bars Nerja: 4.30pm - 5pm sarah & Manolo´s / ship inn / Opp. riu Monica Nerja: 5pm - 5.30pm Cafe del Mar / Black horse Burriana beach: 5.45pm - 6.15pm sportsman bar (near supersol Nerja) 6.30pm - 7pm

Telephone: 662 084 808 Email: chrisdavenport62@hotmail.com

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Anagrams An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever.

Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is a real fiend at Scrabble!

Dormitory - Dirty room Evangelist - Evil's agent Desperation - a rope Ends it The Morse Code - here Come Dots Slot Machines - Cash Lost in 'em

Snooze Alarms - alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness - genuine Class Semolina - is No Meal The Public Art Galleries Large Picture halls, i Bet A Decimal Point - i'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes - that Queer shake Eleven plus two - twelve plus one Contradiction - accord not in it

Animosity - is No amity

Now here´s one for you all to try hiDE aNts

Mother-in-law - woman hitler

Answer on page 117

THE DOG HOUSE While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. *Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks *Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals if Required

‘only ThE bEST FoR youR Pal’ Ring: phil (mob) 649 079 321 email: philipclayton_1@msn.com Comares / Benamargosa ex - cat & dog airlines.uk Recommended

Refs available

BUFFET - Oriental food: Chinese, Japanese, Thai, etc...

Enjoy your food!

Make your salads with the quantity and ingredients you want.

Meat, fish, shellfish, vegetables, etc...

Choose your own conbination of flavours which you like the most and we will prepare your wok right away, in front of you.

Selection of sauces: Gon Bao; Tokyo; Thai; Sweet & Sour; Curry; Wok; Oyster; Peking.

You can help yourself to as much food as you want.

Our staff are on standby to attend to your needs.

Hours: 12:30-4:30 (Buffet price 10.25€) 7:30-12:00 (Buffet price 12.25€)

Children's Menu: Under 4's - 3€ 4-7 year olds - 6€

El Ingenio Shopping Centre, Food Court, Avenida Juan Carlos I, Velez Malaga

Call: 665 827 341

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April Fool Joke Backfires!

This month for those tricksters and jokers, be very careful who you trick?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defence Lawyer: Will you please state your age?

Defence Lawyer: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old.

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Lawyer: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened on the night of April 1st?

Defence Lawyer: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Lawyer: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defence Lawyer: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago..

Defence Lawyer: What happened next?

Las Nenas Kennels

Contact us for more information Phone: 646 271 895 Danish run dog kennels Email: info@andalucia-service.dk We take care of your pet - as if it Bente and Jorgen Berthelsen was our own. We provide a friendly Casa las Nenas - Lomo de Arriba and professional service with all 29716 Canillas de Aceituno the home comforts for your dog Brand new built kennels large exercise area private and quiet surroundings Daily walks in the countryside Veterinary surgery linked 20 mins from periana 30 mins from torre del Mar

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

April Fool (continued) Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Warmer Climes I was just sitting here wondering....

Defence Lawyer: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defence Lawyer: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defence Lawyer: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defence Lawyer: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, ‘April Fool!’ And that's when I shot him, the little bastard!!!

- call for details

69 105

When the hell is Spring coming!!

EXChaNgE YOUr UNwaNtED gOODs FOr iNstaNt Cash tV’s

NER

The Balco n

t Tuesday Marke

Business Services 5,000 A5 Flyers Single Sided / Full Colour 255 euros Call 664 210 468

RJA

LaPtOP COOLiNg PaD

Does your laptop get hot? Does it switch off for no apparent reason? Does it run slow?

You spend hundreds of euros on your laptop, so protect it now before it's too late.

ONLY 15€

Order yours today and get FREE delivery in theAxarquia area. You can see these working at the Country Farmers' markets at Trapiche on Tuesdays and Puente don Manuel on Fridays.

Ca l l : 6 6 4 6 89 1 3 8 or email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk

n de Europe

Nerja Caves

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a j r Ne

? erja N t in bou theset. a and eck ou Out Chplaces

Spring is in the air in Nerja! Now we just need the rain clouds to pass and the sun to break through, and voila, perfection! While you’re there, check out this fabulous selection of businesses: Visit Verity English hair and Beauty salon for a spring-time make-over. Verity offers professional hair care and beauty, from manicures and pedicures to lash and brow tints. A recent addition to the salon is the VibroTrim workout. Drop a dress size without dieting based on just three sessions per week. VibroTrim is ideal for those who don’t have the time or energy to visit the gym regularly and it’s effortless because the Vibro plate does all the work for you. To learn more call into to Verity’s and have a go! Book five sessions and get the sixth session free. ink and Chips is on hand for all your computer needs. They sell ink cartridges, notebooks, customised computers and more.

They even deliver direct to your home!

Do you have a problem with your PC or laptop? Then visit Dotkom, a Toshiba certified laptop engineer with over 18 years experience. As well as repairs Dotkom specialise in PC and laptop sales and accessories. They install Windows software in any language for xP, Vista and Windows 7. They also provide an internet and phone service. You don’t need a landline and they don’t tie you in to a contract. Simply pay as you go! New to Dotkom are flat screen televisions available in all sizes.

Due to the constant demand of foreign residents, andres Olivares recently opened a third shop in the centre of Nerja.

His first two shops are based in Almuñecar. The one in Calle Maria Pineda, 2 (next to Mercadona) is similar to the one of Nerja and specialises in international food products from prestigious brands. The shop in Calle Marquita 3, offers the broadest selection of wines and spirits one can

imagine. In Calle Chaparal, 2 in Nerja (opposite Banco Santander) Nerja inhabitants and tourists can find a selection of sauces, biscuits, jams, pates and tinned food from all over the world. The new Olivares shop fits in perfectly with the philosophy of the company; to serve every client in an agreeable ambiance, with a personalised service. The opening of this new shop will surely be received positively by all Nerja clients, not in the least for the very competitive prices Olivares offers.

If your car needs repairing, or you want to have it spray painted, visit Jonathon at artucolor. They are general mechanics, offering car body repairs and body painting.

If you are after a new hairdo pop in to Peluqueria Marily, a unisex hair salon found in the Hotel Rui Monica. They offer a truly exceptional service.

Marrelo solutions Legal Consultants have three offices in Nerja, Frigiliana and Benalmadena. Marrelo Solutions specialise in conveyancing and Spanish Inheritance. They have many properties available for sale and long term rental, as well as holiday rentals.

If you are having problems with your laptop overheating, going slowly, or even switching itself off, then why not purchase a Laptop Cooling Pad at only 15€. This could save you a whole lot of money in the long-term.

Blue Med Café Bar, on Burriana Beach, has a superb all-round menu including a children’s menu and even picnic boxes for the beach! axces Property Direct is an advertising and marketing solution for those of you who wish to sell your property privately.

We offer a range of services, from listing your property for FREE, to our Premier Service where we present your photos and create an impressive online property brochure for potential buyers to view.

Visit our website or email to find out more.

If you’re a business or self-employed person and you want to spread the word about your venture, then take advantage of the great prices at sentinella Business services. Get 5,000 single-sided A5 flyers, in full colour, for just €255.

For details on all the above see pages 72 & 73 and don´t forget to mention you saw them in The Sentinella when responding!

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Master Craft - Nerja Have you escaped the leaking roofs & mouldy walls? – If not, Master Craft / AIM has the products you need.

What a start to the year weather wise!

Most of you will have been hit hard by the atrocious weather and persistent rain, but fear not! Master Craft / AIM has a range of products and materials to solve your problems.

In January Master Craft moved next door to a larger premises and has now teamed up with AIM British Building Supplies & DIY centre. AIM became established in Elviria, just outside Marbella, six years ago. The company sold products which the British builder and DIY

enthusiast used in the UK. The instructions are all in English, which is always a help when it comes to the technical side of the products. AIM stock products such as soft & hard wood decking, ply wood, wood-care products, plaster board, angle beads, moss & mould remover, path & patio seal, liquid roof sealants, and many other ancillary building products.

Master Craft still has its full range of UPVC windows and doors, frameless glass curtains, air conditioning, timber pergolas and sun awnings.

So why not pay them a visit, see main advert opposite.

TO ALL NERJA BUSINESSES Don´t sit back & watch your competition bring in the money this summer.

Make this space yours!

Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

The Nerja Hire Centre

We buy & sell good quality secondhand furniture. We are offering a new service selling items for our customers for an agreed commission.

On the 1st April, we will be based opposite Lidls. The larger building allows us to offer secure storage facilities to our customers at very competitive rates.

We are also available for removals and domestic hire Why not pop in & see what we can do for you NEW STOCK NEW PRICES Email: nerjahirecentre@terra.es Website: www.nerja-hire.com Office Tel: 95252 2687 Jackie Tel: 691 552 459 Ctra. Nerja-Frigiliana, Km. 1-4, Nerja

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

79

Fundraising - London Marathon A husband and wife team from Torrox are running in this year’s London Marathon.

Amanda and Phil Stockton have been busy training in order to raise as much money as possible for children’s charity, Barnados.

It all began when Amanda hit 40 and felt that apart from her career and family she had not achieved much. After watching last years race on TV she decided to enter for 2010.

Phil, who has ran seven marathons in the past, felt he had one more left in him.

Training for the London Marathon has continued throughout the winter. Undeterred by the bad weather they are now

nearing the end, with only a few weeks remaining.

Amanda would like to thank all of her chiropodist patients for their support and donations.

The pair are now organising a charity music gig at El Ancla, Torrox Costa, on 17th April at 8pm. Local band Not to Fall are playing and there is a free buffet. Please make a donation on the door. There will also be a great raffle with prizes donated by local businesses including golf lessons, one night at a b&b and a sailing experience.

If anyone wants to donate a service or gift voucher for the raffle, contact Amanda on 636 866 715.

Ink Cartridges Cartuchos de Tinta Compatible or Original Epson compatible ink cartridges 5.00â‚Ź each Visit us at the Farmers markets Trapiche = Tuesday Puente Don Manuel = Friday For orders and delivery please contact:

636 298 538 sales@printerink.es

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s d ist s e i r nt Worlour As-aZndl ton8n0e0 u o C he enteen 2in50 thoausts over v o Of NTumcebsermsoeereatyheaantr taynpdesbroafthbeererb,oring... du lat s en pro choco differ seen a um f l o il elgi s st B i t ye

Population - 10,414,336 Language - French / Dutch Located - Central Europe Capital City - Brussels Currency - Euro religion - Christian Main Exports - Chemicals Literacy rate - 99% Life Expectancy - 80 years g.D.P. Per Capita - US$36,415 total area - 30,528 km2

Famous For - Beer and chocolate.

National Sports - Football, Tennis, Athletics and Cycling.

Biggest Celebrity - Herge (Georges Remi), the creator of TinTin was a Belgian.

Interesting Facts - Belgium produces the greatest variety of bricks in the world.

Tax levels in Belgium are among the highest in the world, with about 40% of gross earnings given up in tax for a single income family.

The world´s biggest chocolate selling point is Brussels National Airport.

Alongside the 800 different types of beer to sup and all that chocolate to quaff, the Belgians also find time to get through 24 million ecstasy tablets a year

Sat.Co

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for a free - No obligation - Home Demonstration Call: 657 484 853 or email: tproctor29@yahoo.com ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

81 105

Network Update

There is now a new website up and running especially for The Sentinella Network.

Log on to www.thesentinellanetwork.comyou will find detailed information about The Sentinella Business Opportunity, testimonials from a couple of our current editors, plus what you get when you join The Sentinella and how much money you can expect to earn.

And while you’re there why not request a free Information Brochure? Then you will learn even more about why The Sentinella Business Opportunity is so successful and why NOW is the time to join.

Our hottest areas currently available include Gibraltar, Granada, Almeria and Murcia.

Could you see yourself running The Sentinella magazine

Evening Sun

Sensitive, qualified & fully police checked staff can enable you to maintain maximum independence within your own home.

in one of those regions? With guaranteed advertising and a brand name which has been operating in Spain since 2004, success is quite simply yours for the taking.

For further info call Keidi on 610 976 284.

SAXON S.L JcB digger Hire velez-Malaga area

Services include:

Short term respite care.

Help to arrange individual care packages.

Minor structural alterations for easier access, ramps, grabrails, etc.

Full range of disability aids, large or small from wheelchairs to medication dispensers.

For more information contact Amanda Folland Tel: 958 772 017 Mob: 664 252 110 Email: eveningsun5@yahoo.es

services

*Landscape GardeninG *carpentry * stOrM daMaGe *LandsLides and tracK cLearinG *pLUs aLL Manner OF diGGinG UndertaKen

662 39 83 72 / 678 23 22 53 email: saxonsl@live.co.uk

Andalucia Damp & Timber Control A Professional company with friendly helpful advice A long term cure for all your internal and external damp problems No more annual external painting Cures for areas where running stream water etc is a problem The ultimate timber treatment including: woodworm, dry & wet rot killers Unique U.K Supplied products System is approved by Insurance Companies

Non Injection System Also: Are you experiencing movement/shrinkage cracking to your masonry walling above slab, retaining or boundary walls?

If so: A permanent affordable solution is available A full range of quality British Stainless Steel fixings to “STITCH� failed areas.

Solutions for Lintel fatigue to window and door frames.

We carry Full Public Liability Insurance All work is guaranteed and carried out by our fully trained technicians to a professionally high standard Free initial survey by Keith who is a well established surveyor with many years experience in the construction industry and water ingress problems to property. He will provide free competitive quotations to homeowners/landlords without obligation.

Call: 666 991 041 or visit our website

www.andaluciadampcontrol.com

Superb Daily menu at â‚Ź8,45 from 1.30pm until 4pm

Boleros & Latin Songs Night

1. Mixed lettuce salad with chicken and 4th Sat. 2 sesame crusty and sweet balsamic.

2. Iberian pork sirloin medallions gratinated, served with a Pedro Ximenez sauce and vegetables bronuas.

3. Profiterols with hot chocolate and coconut.

l Apri

18.50â‚Ź per person. l ApriLimited places,make your reservation h t 4 Sat. 2 now!!!

Specialists in International Dishes To see the full menu please email: restaurantelsalmon@hotmail.com Avenida Andalucia 56, 29740 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 965 424 Mob: 662 086 854

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Random Jokes Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, 'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old...If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Edna replied, "Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.''

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, 'By golly, I

did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't, i'm impressed!'

Buddy replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

------------------------------------------------------An older gentleman had an appointment to see the Urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large, unfriendly looking woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "You want to see the doctor about Impotence right?”

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,”No, I´ve come to enquire about a sex change, but I don´t want the same doctor that did yours!”

THE MOSQUITO SCREEN COMPANY with a MaNUFaCtUriNg FaCiLitY iNtrODUCiNg 2 NEw MOsQUitO sCrEENs tO sPaiN thE MagNEtiC iNsECt sCrEEN

l Top of the range 100% insect proof l Magnetic seal allows simple window operation l PVC Frame fastens to window or brickwork l Easy to fit or remove for cleaning l Suitable for domestic & commercial applications l For the DIY enthusiast, this screen can be ordered and comes with easy to follow

manufacturing and measuring instructions in English

thE aLUMiNiUM hiNgED sCrEEN *A simple but very effective screen *Powder coated decorative profile *Suitable for Internal or External applications *Also American style swing doors at the Mosquito screen Company, we now manufacture all types of screens, from aluminium sliders, roller Blinds and the above. we also deliver to the trade and public within 3 days of order.

NOW INTRODUCING: Aluminium Double Glazed Windows & Doors Balcony Enclosures in Double Glazing or Mosquito Screening Come and see me at the Indoor Farmers Market Trapiche every Tuesday. We also guarantee we will not be beaten on price or quality. For more information or free quotation, please call:

Tel/Fax: 952 573 577 / 690 296 952 / 638 499 140 or 665 392 299 Email: the.mosquito.screen.company@gmail.com Or visit our website: www.mosquitoscreenco.com

Having problems?

Has the rain created a need of building new retaining outer walls?

Let us take care of this by offering you this new system, for half the price or more of Conventional Rocks or Concrete Walls.

We use Solid Concrete Blocks sized 1.20 metres wide x 75 cms high x 75 cms thick.

Each one has a weight of approx 2,500 kgs and they are sectioned above each other and with some pointing inwards offering more resistance.

The finished wall can be painted to match the surroundings.

We can create any size to your requirement.

For further information and free estimates please contact:

Alberto - 650 943 713 Perfect English Spoken

frigilanaplaza2006@yahoo.co.uk ANDALUCIA ESTATE ESPAĂ‘A S.L. Over 30 Years of experience building in Andalusia

86

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Mind, Body, Spirit This month we meet Richard Waterborn, originator of Mind Body Soul Healing. Richard has helped thousands of people overcome illness through his holistic practise.

The Mind-Body approach to healing begins with understanding that the quality of life we enjoy has a lot to do with US! It’s not just our physical bodies, but what goes on inside, that constitutes a human being.

Our feelings and emotions, our thoughts and beliefs, our relationships, and our past experiences all have a major impact on our health, happiness and well-being.

This idea has been around for thousands of years, but it got lost in the chemicalbased approach to health and medicine.

This was the age of the ‘magic bullet’ - the idea that pharmacological science would develop a pill to treat every disease. This spread to an attempt to treat so-called mental health in the same way, shifting responsibility away from ourselves to the 'experts' and an increasing dependence on pharmaceutical corporations. The larger context of our life; our emotional state, relationships and general quality of life, became irrelevant. All that mattered was what showed up in the tests and assigning the appropriate chemical or surgical procedure.

Now, the pendulum has begun to swing back. People are starting to question the effectiveness of such a system. A wide

range of alternative and holistic therapies, some old, some new, is available as well as a host of self-help books.

My involvement in the Mind-Body world began over 30 years ago when I was researching psychosomatic factors in the treatment of cancer. I was so impressed by what I discovered, and the need for an alternative therapeutic approach, that I abandoned the Phd I was writing and began training, then working, as an alternative therapist. Since then I have assisted thousands of clients in dealing with all manner of issues, physical and nonphysical and I have witnessed many “miracles”, as people sought the remedy within themselves.

In future issues we will be looking at a variety of topics from a mind-body perspective, which I hope you’ll find interesting.

Please email your Mind-Body questions and problems to me on: rwaterborn@eircome.net. I’ll do my best to answer them and offer advice from a holistic perspective. Look out for some of these questions and answers, which will be printed in the May edition.

Thanks for reading, Richard To book a healing session with Richard call him on 676 346 402.

For further info log on to www.RichardWaterborn.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

87 105

Light of India Have you experienced the Light of India? If not then you don’t know what you’re missing!

Did you know that you can eat as much as you like (off the menu) for the same price as the cost of just two courses at a regular Indian restaurant? Yes, really! For just 12.95 euros you simply order as many starters, mains and desserts as you think you can eat, then tuck in to your heart’s content. Now that’s service for you!

I love this set up as it means I can try new dishes which I haven’t dared to order before. For example, recently I let down my hair and ordered fish tikka cooked in anis, which is a real step outside my comfort zone. Ordering fish in an Indian restaurant is not a usual move for me – I prefer a safe

chicken korma, or lamb tikka. But boy am I glad I made the move. It was so tender and succulent and my taste-buds thanked me for days.

Indian desserts are another fuzzy point for me. I tried the Indian version of ice cream once, but it didn’t appeal and I hadn’t bothered looking at the dessert menu since.

But as dessert is in with the price at the Light of India I thought I may as well give it another whirl. The waitress recommended a little ball of sticky sweetness (the name escapes me) and it’s delish. You must try it.

Just ask for ‘the ball’ and if they look at you weirdly then blame The Sentinella girl!

See main advert with their Summer opening hours on page 9

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Random Jokes Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey,Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand,!!' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet,!'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter,!!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet,!'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy,!'

Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened

during conception.'

Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.' She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you,....it's a friggin' good ting we didn't use WD-40.

------------------------------------------------------A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains'?

'Not yet', she replied.

------------------------------------------------------(Q) Why did the woman cross the road?

(A) Never mind that - what is she doing out of the kitchen?

------------------------------------------------------(Q) What type of bees produce milk?

(A) Boobees!

PET TAXI UK * FRanCe * spaIn TRAvELLiNG iN AiR CONDiTiONED vEHiCLE DELivERED DOOR TO DOOR PETS STAy iN PET fRiENDLy HOTELS ACCOMPANiED TRAvEL AvAiLABLE TEL: (0044) 7533 285918

(0034) 667 235 205 email: pettaxitransport@hotmail.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

89 105

The Word Throne Negative beliefs are the bane of all writers, according to The Word Queen. In this issue she looks at the most common fear of the writer – ‘the fear of rejection’.

For the writer, rejection is by far the most common of fears. We worry that after spending months (and in some cases years) slogging away on our novel, publishers, literary agents, and perhaps even friends and family will say it’s not good enough to publish.

But the likelihood that this will happen is, let’s face it, pretty slim. Even if a publisher, agent or family member doesn’t believe your book is up to scratch, they will normally deliver the message with some degree of tact.

If this does occur, you can always fork out for a book critique or professional book doctoring service and integrate the sug-

gestions. Think of it as a final polishing of your work before you send it out to other publishers and agents.

And remember that many of the top writers of our time have received rejection after rejection before they finally made it.

J.K Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books (and now a multi-millionaire), endured dozens of ‘no’ letters before finally seeking gold.

We’ve all heard the expression ‘perserverance pays.’ So it’s simple. Choose to perservere instead of fear!

With Love The Word Queen xx Contact The Word Queen on 610 976 284, email info@thewordqueen.com, or log on to her new website, www.thewordqueen.com (see advert below)

The Word Queen has more than ten years experience of proofreading, writing, editing and critiquing work under her crown!

I offer: *Proofreading *Line Editing *Full Critique Service *Book Publishing *Marketing Packages I also offer personal writing coaching & tuition

For more information call: 952 968 096 / 610 976 284

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stOP

¡Perfect Alarm! S.L

thE BUrgLar iN ONLY a FEw sECONDs with a FOg CaNNON

In Andalucía, as in so many places, crime is on the rise, and it especially affects properties out in the country. Most thieves will risk the possibility of finding an alarm system, because they know that security services will take some time to reach a property. Often, intruders need only a few minutes to grab laptops, mobile phones, jewels and money, then run. Mr. Martin from the security company ¡PERFECT Alarm! S.L. is presenting a new and effective solution.

Burglars can’t steal what they can’t see!

Fog security is an extremely effective addition to conventional burglar alarm systems. It provides a visual deterrent to intrusion by removing the intruder’s ability to see and navigate the premise. In the dense fog the burglar or the vandal will become disoriented, perplexed and immediately seek an exit from the premises.

Experiences from thousands of successful installations show that fog is the most effective method of burglar protection in the market place today.

how does it work?

The fog system is built on the same principle that has been used in the entertainment industry for the past 50 years. The fog has been tested and certified as completely safe and harmless by laboratories the world over. The system is used by police and fire departments to train personnel and tracker dogs in hostile environments and to replicate fog-filled sites for fire-fighter training. The fog stays in the room for a long time and leaves no

residue. Even with strong ventilation it will take approximately 20 minutes to regain full visibility and rid the area of any traces of fog. The discharge will leave no residue or film in the premises. PROTECT’s Fog Cannons can be discharged many times on the same fluid container. the fog also prevents vandalism!

Vandalism can be just as frustrating and costly as the burglary. A Fog Cannon is the perfect solution to prevent the destruction and defacing of property.

By removing the ability to see and sense of orientation the vandal is instantly deterred.

Connection to control monitoring station We connect the Fog Cannons to the unique alarm system of LISTENER; the best solution for your security. The system is activated when the burglar alarm is tripped and in just a few seconds it protects your valuables against theft and vandalism. The special home modus of the LISTENER Alarm System excludes an unintended activation so that a false alarm – by accident – can’t activate the Fog Cannon.

A really smart and effective solution for a secure system, an investment with big security and above all it provides peace of mind. get a demonstration for free!

Fog protection is extremely convincing, especially when you witness it yourself.

Therefore we are happy to give you a free demonstration of the system at your own premises. It only takes half an hour. Allow us to demonstrate the latest technology in protection and prevention.

Get a ‘Egg’ stra 10% discount in April! ¡Perfect alarm! s.L. Mr. Bernd Martin, avd andalucia 177-179 29751 Caleta de Velez Phone: 608 517 661 www.perfect-alarm.com e-mail: perfect.alarm@perfect-alarm.com

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y r a i s D e Dat r The Whyaotu´sr oanrea? in Fo

Every Monday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Bingo 8pm. Call 685 552 529 Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 2pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Dale 600 783 870 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. Call: 685 552 529.

Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, Torre del Mar, Quiz night from 8.30pm with cash prizes. APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month. Call 952 544 362 Every Thursday Tiffanys Roys Quiz with cash prizes. Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel 952 519 733 Every 2nd Thursday of the month.

Curry night at La Vaqueria. Heaps of delicious traditional Indian food for just 8.35 euros. Bring your own booze and enjoy a fun economical evening! C/Arroyo limon, Benamargosa. Reservations 952 517 273

Every Thursday Bar Triana Beckys Bingo, cash prizes 7.30 p.m. Call: 618 373 316

Boot Sale on 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month, at Restaurant El Pantano, A356, Km30 overlooking Lake Vinuela. Call: Spanish 619 471 301 or English 669 600 419

Every Wednesday Modern Jive Dancing. Horto Malaga, N340, Torrox Costa.

8.30pm. Modern Jive dancing with tuition.

Tel: Jacqueline 658 729 274

NEW!! Yoga Classes El Trapiche bar.

10.30 every Friday. All welcome. 619 800 702

LOST!!

Beloved Macey

Went missing over a month ago.

Have you seen her?

Have you taken her in?

If you have any information then please, please call Sarah on:

647 875 223

Heather Gail Harman b.a hons Spaces available on Heather's highly successful Drawing and Painting Classes: Torre del Mar/Benajarafe Thursdays Lake ViĂąuela & Puente don Manuel (FULL)

For further details contact Heather Tel: 952 115 366 Mob: 628 306 371

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

93 105

Dates For The Diary (Continued) Every Friday Chiringuito Antonio Market, Puente don Manuel,Dale 600 783 870 The Nerja History Group meets on the first Friday of each month from October to May. Meetings are at the Nerja Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, at 11.30, for a small consideration of €6. All lectures are in English. Call Jill Christian-Smith on 952 538 526/664 760 405 or jill.christiansmith@gmail.com Friday 16th April Spring Fashion Show, Chiringuito Friday Market. Fully hosted model show, simply enjoy watching or buy.

10.30am - 12.30am. Live Music and Raffle. Call Dale 600 783 870 for more information Saturday 10th April Anne & Alfonso´s 1st year at Tiffany´s Cruce de Periana, Puente

don Manuel. Dancing, Music and Vodka shots promotion. All invited. 8.30pm Sunday 18th April at 9pm Concert by Coraxalia International Choir at Ntra. Sra. Del Carmen, the church in Caleta: and Sunday 25th April at 8pm at San Isidro Church, Periana. For more details call 630 520 581 (or coraxalia@gmail.com).

Yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes have a great new venue in Torrox Costa.

Classes every Tuesday & start at 8.30pm.

Modern Jive is easy, fun and a great way of meeting new people. You dont need a partner come by yourself or bring a friend.

Beginners always welcome. Come and join us Tuesday nights at El Ancla de Cirilo, Calle de Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa on the N-340 between Nerja and Torrox Costa. Email: info@yojive.com

investments Direct Uk * Best investment opportunity ever! * Earn 15% interest p.a. paid every 3 months * Your money is secured against UK property through a solicitor with a finance company established for more than 30 years * F.S.A. protected investment * Tax deducted at source * Testimonials available on request For more information visit our website

www.investmentsdirectuk.com or for a no obligation friendly chat ring

Terry McCormick on: 0034 951 047 911 659 483 561

Bar Triana English Breakfast, hot and cold snacks served daily 9am - 2.30pm Pool table, dartboard, terrace.

Curry nights, paella and BBQs Beckys Bingo cash prizes 7.30p.m. Thursdays!!

Coming soon - Meals on Friday and Saturday evenings Telephone: 618 373 316

Benamargosa Road, Triana Closed Mondays

Car air-con service and repair specialist The heat is on and if your car air-con system can´t cope or has stopped working, we have the complete answer with our professional call out service. Have it maintained now and avoid expensive future repairs. We completely service your system with fresh gas, compressor oil and leak detecting dye, all included in the price. We do not just re-gas the system as this will not last and will fail. ***************** If your car headlights are dull or opaque due to the sun´s UV rays, it may cause it to fail the ITV test. You can now make them bright again at a fraction of the cost of buying new ones.

Have a look at the example below.

For either of these services, please don´t hesitate to call us and we will come to make After Before you cool and bright again!

Contact Mike on: 951 321 446 or 616 264 067

Email: mike@autocoolspain.com www.autocoolspain.com

Random Joke

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. ‘What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mummy Mummy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on" The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister totally naked and cowering on the floor. 'You rotten Bitch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

at: pa, now a euro ic n i s l o ta c ox-c torr

952 53 09 08

DREAM OF EDEN GARDENING SERVICES General Maintenance “Water Systems” Fencing Hard and Soft Landscaping

Contact: Don Brown “The Sentinella’s Gardener” 30 Years Experience Phone: 685 584 829 / 634 492 385

dreamofeden@yahoo.com

CO BRIT R E D A A M For your wood Carpentry Poligono la Panoleta C/Juan gris No 5 29700 Velez Malaga tel: 952 501 543

kitchen furniture, Doors, windows wE sPEak ENgLish!

email: madercobrita@madercobrita.es / Web: www.madercobrita.es

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

97

s n g i S r Sta Mystic Mag tunes in to her third eye to see the future for us all...

Capricorn - Playing tennis with oranges is not something you would usually do, but this month it is something you will do. Just watch out for the deuce!

Lucky sign - A runny nose Aquarius - Trainspotting is something which may be a little hard over here, so why not become a plane spotter instead?

You bore.

Lucky sign - Easy Jet Pisces - As you are the deep and meaningful sort, sit and have a think about what you are all about. This should take no longer than 5.7 seconds.

Lucky sign - A packet of peanuts (dry roasted) Aries - Run like the wind as an enemy is after you. Buy some Nike trainers for a bit of extra speed and at least you’ll look cool that way.

Lucky sign - A picture of a stormy ocean Taurus - Cackhanded is your middle name this month so be extra careful when handling plates and other crockery.

SMASH! Lucky sign - The muffin man Gemini - If you haven't already seen it watch Monsters Inc, but make sure you keep an eye on that Mikey!

Lucky sign - Twins called Paco

Cancer - Take up fly fishing lessons this month and you could swiftly excel to championship status. Lucky you.

Lucky sign - A rod Leo - You are feeling a little down in the dumps. To lift your spirits stuff your face with as much chocolate as possible.

Lucky sign - The man in the moon Virgo - Prove to yourself and everyone around you that you are normal. How? Errrm, well, that may be a little hard actually.

Lucky sign - Limescale on a spoon Libra - Indulgence is something you need this month and lots of it, so prepare to spend muchas dinero on yourself.

Lucky sign - A big fat cat Scorpio - Have you developed an unhealthy appetite for cake? How excellent.

More people should, they don't now what they're missing!

Lucky sign - Baking powder Sagittarius - Walk lots this month and you'll find a Hansel and Gretel style sweety house in the middle of nowhere.

But watch out for wicked old witches bundling you in the oven!

Lucky sign - A giant grasshopper And if it´s your Birthday this month jump up and down on the spot 100 times you will feel much better for it!

www.thesentinella.com

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? n O s ’ t Wh a Royal British Legion Torre del Mar We meet every Wed between 12 - 2pm at the La Vega Rest. next to Mercadona supermarket. April Events, 6th Bowling, 7th Weekly Meet, 8th Trip to Gibraltar, 14th Weekly Meet, 16th Day trip to Seville, 20th Greenfingers monthly meet 21st Weekly Meet, 23rd St.Georges Day Dinner with Cabaret, 28th Weekly Meet. 31st May 5 days Mini break to Lisbon, Portugal -249€ 4* Hotel. Bookings 663 658 354, Welfare 628343198, Membership 617997095 rbl.torre-del-mar@hotmail.com.

Web site at www.rbl-torredelmar.org.uk Lux Mundi Torre del Mar April events: 1st Agape, 2nd One Hour before the Cross, 5th Centre Closed, 13th Trip to Fuentepiedra& Antequera, 22nd Gibraltar. Every Mon 3pm 5pm German speaking afternoon. Every Wed 3pm - 5pm Art Group, Every Thurs 3pm Reflexology - Informal Classes. Every Fri 11am1pm Coffee morning & Boutique. Every Sat 5pm Catholic Church service. Every Sun 10:30am Anglican Service St. Barnabas. Deposits required for all trips & events. For more information tel 952 543 334.

Trapiche Branch of TRBL meets on Wednesdays at El Trapiche Restaurant at 12 noon. All weekly meetings have mainly free activities.

April events 7th Weekly Meeting with Bingo, 14th Weekly Meeting with “What’s My Line” 21st Weekly Meeting with Card Games, 23rd St George’s Day Lunch at The Rib House,Torrox Costa, 28th Weekly Meeting with Skittles.

Some future Local Branches Events are advertised in Branch. Visit our website at www.trapicherbl.org.uk For information call: Branch Information Gordon Reith 951 239 366 or Mobile 628 785 686. Social and Bookings Sue Reith 951 239 366 or Mobile 618 585 061 or at El trapiche Welfare Committee from 8am - 10pm 680 764 130 from 08.00 till 22.00 Have you always wanted to draw and paint?

Call top international artist tutor Heather Gail harmen B.A hon in association with Conte a Paris. Call: 951 167 146 or 628 306 371 RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30 to 2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment and monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, and we welcome all new and existing RBL members. For more information please ring: 952 514 226 or 669 201 927 Costa Animal Society April events, Friday 16th Quiz Night at All That Jazz, Burriana Beach, Nerja. Food available from 7.00pm and quizzing starts at 9.00pm. Teams of four. Entry 3€ per person. Reservations essential!

Thursday 22nd, Fun Social Evening at Hostel La Ermita, Nerja (close to calle Granada). Special Buffet with half bottle of wine per person and entertainment from Bobby Mac. Begins 7.30pm. Only 18€ per person. To reserve: Please telephone the CAS office on 95 252 3607 (10am – 1pm). Out of office hours, please call Vera on 95 252 9670 / 630 003 450.

It´s Panto time A lively group of local people got together at the Balcon Hotel to volunteer their help to put on this June's much anticipated production of Cinderella. The panto, very much a blue adult version of the traditional tale, will raise money for two charities: CUDECA, the cancer hospice charity (75%), and the Sasha Roberts Scholarship Fund (25%). Cinderella will be held at the Balcon Hotel, Cómpeta on Saturday June 19th and Sunday June 20th.

A pre-performance supper will be available price 15€ for three courses plus wine. Tickets for the show are 12€, which includes a welcome drink and tapas and they will go on sale in May so make a note in your diary!

Anyone interested in joining the cast or crew should contact Tom 689 704 378 tom@tomsobel.com or Debi Bond 626 192 117 / debi.bond@gmail.com

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ABC Dance Club All raffle profit proceeds donated to the Childrens Orphanage in Malaga.

April Showers??????? Not with us. Spring Dinner and Dance Saturday April 24th. El Trapiche Restaurant, Velez Malaga. New menu, tinto verano jugs on each round table of 8, 12€ per head. Enjoy a memorable and social evening. Ballroom, Latin American, Sequence and fun dances. Next Last dance of the season June 12th. Lessons El Trapiche, Mondays, 5.00pm to 7.00pm. Wednesdays 7.00pm to 9.00pm. For more information call David: 952 531 259 or mobile: 617 863 193. Ticket sales email: jacine@gonuts4free.com or call 952 510 096.

Alcaucin Branch of TRBL meets every Thursday noon at the Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet new like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations. Regular trips are arranged departing locally. April events 2nd Race day at Marbella Race course, 16th Day trip to Seville contact Merryll on 663 658 354, 21st day trip to Granada (NOT Alhambra) contact 608 409 864. If you feel you would like to help with our Poppy Appeal please ring Harvey or come along to Bar Atila any Thursday lunchtime. For details of upcoming social events contact Barbara on 636 203 135. A very warm welcome will always be made to all new fun loving members. Branch Contact is 696 391 224. Harvey. Welfare Contact is 690 310 951 Dorothy.

RBL - Los Romanes Branch NEW VENUE La Vinuela Restaurant, Vinuela Village. We meet every Tuesday from 12.00 noon until 2.00pm at the above. On the first Tuesday of every month we have menu del dia at the restaurant. Please feel free to come and join us any time, you do not have to be a member.

April 2nd Mijas Races. April 30th Donkey Sanctuary. Lots of other trips and events com-

ing up. For social, contact Lorraine on 952 510 203. For other, contact Margaret on 951 167 600. Visit our website on: www.rbl-losromanes.org.uk FHT Axarquia Therapists Support Group March 17th, Camping Bar Restaurant, Vinuela, 7.30pm when they will have a presentation by Jon Critoph, the Educational Development Officer of FHT (Federation of Holistic Therapists) on 'The Art of Dowsing'. Jon will no doubt say a little about FHT as well and is willing to talk to members individually about marketing their business. He will be in the area on Wednesday and Thursday, to meet with Therapists.jennywright04@gmail.com or tel: 951 321 613 or 680 500 073.

RBL Colmenar 21st April - Granada City, 12th May - Cordoba, 16th June - San Miguel Brewery visit - followed by shopping at either Plaza Mayor or Ikea, 8th September - Sevilla contact Yvette Atwell on 951 313 090 / 676 680 337. Branch contacts:- Membership- Marjorie Keefe 951163071 Social Secretary Marjorie Corbett 952037556 and Dorothy Whiteoak (Welfare) 690310951.

Come Dancing for Cudeca Next dance Saturday 17th April at the Bar Restaurante El Trapiche, 7.00 for 7.30. Come along with your friends and enjoy a good fun evening – even if you think you have "two left feet". There will be the usual mix of Ballroom, Old Time, Latin, Sequence and Party dances, plus a couple of Scottish dances called by George, which are always well received. Choice of Fish, Chicken or Vegetarian meal included in the 10€. Our recent raffle of a beautiful lap quilt raised over 500€, taking our total raised for Cudeca Cancer Hospice to date to around 2,800€. For more information or to book tickets call Mike on 952 510 189 or email jjmunns@gmail.com PLEASE BOOK EARLY

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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order!

Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-torre see Nerja-Malaga times torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00.

Church services in English anglican - Services - Inglesia de San Miquel (St Michael’s Church) Nerja - Due to the First Communion Services which will be held in St. Michael's Nerja wtih effect from Sunday 25th April the Anglican Services will be held in The Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol, Almuñecar at 10.30am. The Nerja services will re-commence at noon on Sunday 6th June, Call:952 521 339 / 952 522 460 Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Malaga - St George's Church 12 midday Sundays torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Centre 09.30am Sundays anglican communion. torre del Mar - Services in English - St. Barnabas IERE (Anglican). Holy Communion 11am.

2nd and 4th Sundays. Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. 6pm. Evensong 1st Sunday, all

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 at Lux Mundi Centre, Calle Casa de la Vina, two minutes walk from the bus station. Tel: 952-030-461 (Priest) or 952 510 056 (Churchwarden). roman Catholic - torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer) Church of scotland Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre - Worship every Sunday at 11:30 Tel 952543334 or 687764705 for more information.

Evangelical - torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome.

Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: www.torredelmarchurch.org torrox Park Community Church meet at 11am on Thursday for coffee and discussion on current topics. This is an informal meeting for everyone to join in. At Tapricho Tapas bar (opposite El Pino camping), Torrox park. more info: Minister J. hartsmith foy, Tel: 952 532 825 or www.torroxparkchurch.org.

Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship - 7pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel.

Phone 952 033 021 or 952 518 185 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. taxis torre: 952 540 016.

Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016 Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 torre del Mar: 952 541 104 weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral saturdays: Caleta de Velez & Competa sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 952 352 300 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Carlota Alesandria, 33 Edif. San Andres - 1º-7 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

Informa

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airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 town halls torre and Velez: 952 500 100 torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 itV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical 1. What were first held in 776 BC? 2. In which country is Malin Head?

3. What does a mysophobe fear?

4. Of what is nomology the science?

5. In Australia, what is a kylie?

6. What are lills?

Hey Diddle Riddle 1. A dozen royals gathered round, entertained by two who clowned. Each kings there had servants 10, though none of them were also men. The lowest servant sometimes might, beat the king in a fair fight. A weapon stout, a priceless jewel.

The beat of life, a gardeners tool. What am I? 2. When liquid splashes me, none seeps through. When I am moved a lot, liquid I spew. When I am hit, colour I change. And colour, I come in quite a range. What I cover is very complex, and I am very easy to flex. What am I?

7. Where is the Pitti art gallery?

3. Brad stared through the dirty sootsmeared window on the 22nd floor of the office tower. Overcome with depression he 8. Who would wear a chador? slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop outside the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed 9. In which country is lake volta? he was completely unhurt. Since there was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his de10. How many sides has a hendecagon? scent, how could he have survived the fall?

Answers on page 117

Sudokus Medium

Harder

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Crossword Two sets of clues but the same answer aCrOss

Cryptic Clues

1 Rob set out to get water-ice (6) 4 Needing new coins, a place for gambling (6) 7 Agreement with Penny before performance (4) 8 Brave French one, a father, getting help (8) 9 Meat with grub returned from German city (7) 12 Stake used by bachelor before film (3) 14 Monarch's seat being chucked, we hear (6) 15 Everyone with the queen following first of teachers of greater height (6) 16 Money reportedly to get female rabbit (3) 18 Theft by bore out after ringleader (7) 22 Wary union leader embraced by a scout I upset (8) 23 Commanding officer left with a drink (4) 24 Egghead with small cloak making getaway (6) 25 Actors in front of the French stronghold (6)

DOwN

1 Isolated peer sad at changes (9) 2 Royal expert with husky, say, and fast animal (9) 3 Student, humble, concealing digit (5) 4 Seat used by one during tea (5) 5 Kind being looked for, we hear (4) 6 One is breaking racket (5) 10 Unusual Roman country house (5) 11 Woman's prayer before meal (5) 12 Male ruminant peculiar to big ally (5-4) 13 Stop and meet train, possibly (9) 17 Spoken exams taken by superior also (5) 19 Gas from Australia found with a person (5) 20 Rearranging cab is simple (5) 21 Film, new, on a volcano (4)

aCrOss

Coffee time

1 Water-ice (6) 4 Place for gambling (6) 7 Agreement (4) 8 Not frightened (8) 9 German city (7) 12 Wager (3) 14 Monarch's seat (6) 15 Higher (6) 16 Female deer (3) 18 Theft with force (7) 22 Careful (8) 23 Fizzy drink (4) 24 Break free (6) 25 Stronghold (6)

DOwN 1 Divided (9) 2 Fast animal (9) 3 Thick digit (5) 4 Seat (5) 5 Kind (4) 6 Sound (5) 10 Large country house (5) 11 Elegance (5) 12 Male ruminant (5-4) 13 End (9) 17 Spoken exams (5) 19 Pungent gas (5) 20 Fundamental (5) 21 Sicilian volcano (4)

103

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) : a h a h s e k o J A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with 10€ notes. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand euros in it. He approaches the barman and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay 10€, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the barman, "Those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the barman 10€ which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the barman, "Here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink a whole bottle of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90 year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my 10€ but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a bottle of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the barman, "But your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pitbull chained to a pole.

Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud

growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight, then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now.., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

------------------------------------------------------Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten overenthusiastic on Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her undies and use them. Her friend however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of undies that she did not want to ruin, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a big ribbon on it, so she proceeded to use the ribbon. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, one woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, 'These damn girls' nights out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no undies!'

'You think that's bad' said the other husband, 'Mine is lying in bed with a card stuck in her arse that says: 'From all of us at the Fire Station we'll never forget you.!'

------------------------------------------------------Police in Liverpool have found a very large arsenal of weapons in a library. Understandably the locals are in deep shock.

When one local was asked about their thoughts, he said “I never knew we had a library”

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Esola Systems Air Conditioning

THIS MONTH’S SPECIAL OFFER

Almison A-rated Units* 3010 kcal/h heating & cooling One unit: 470 euros Two units for 430 euros each Three or more units for 400 euros each (fully fitted back to back) *while stocks last

Es ol o l a S yste m s Te l : 6 16 119 00 0 3 23 0 077 / 9 5 2 55 5 50

Mother & Toddler Days DOES YOUR SEPTIC TANK NEED CLEANING? Me & my daughter Sophia who is 17 months old, would like you & your baby/toddler to join us at our big house in the lake area for Mother & Toddler Days Please call: 636 219 689 for further information

Professional Window Tinting Cut out the heat & glare but keep the view

Solar Control Window Tint for; Glass Curtains, Glazed Balconies, Conservatories, Cars, Vans, Boats and Offices A far better option than blinds Improve your living environment

958 503 214 / 644 546 176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com

THE MECHANICAL dOCTORS Diagnostic Service All makes of cars Check up only 40€

Tel: 951 284 426 Michael: 671 758 375 Calle de Fransisco de Goya, Pol. Ind. La Panoleta, Velez-Malaga

No more mowing, watering or dead spots!

Artificial grass is the solution for a unique ground covering. for more info or a free quotation

Call: 619 317 211 www.axarverde.com

Call us and we will come & empty your septic tank.

(Certified)

ConstRUCtIons & RenoVatIons

652 65 60 66 Competa, Malaga E-mail: construccionesschmid@hotmail.com

Spanish Number Plates a Car Transfers aDriving Licences aInterpreting aOther Paperwork Sara Bright

951 167 094 / 658 501 610 Coastline Property Management. *Full or part packages available for your holiday home *All your needs catered for - including free advertising on various multilingual websites *Honest, friendly & reliable service at honest prices !!

To receive full details email: info@coastlineproperties.eu.com or call anytime for an informal chat on: 680 407 833 - 686 487 122

Argentinean meats cooked on the grille

Avda. Toré Toré Torre del Mar Tel: 952 54 15 92 Mob: 687 232 149

kIELER JURGEN

RE ST SE U AU o A h RA k I B A R A NT E E R ST FET CA Specialities in Lamb, Spare Ribs & Steaks

NOW EVERY SUNDAY - CARVERY!!

Turkey, Pork or Beef ONLY 11â‚Ź

Every 2nd Sunday of the Month - Tea Dance with Live Music!

3rd April - Easter Dance - Live Music with Bobby Mac Special Easter Menu 30th April - May dance - Live Music Home made food now available for Take Away (vacuum packed on the premises)

Private functions catered for with Special Menus

Open 9am - 11pm (closed Tuesdays) Nr. Centro International 72, Bajo Algarrobo Costa (opp. large swimming pool)

Tel: 648 943 872

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en s T ,10 p 9 o , T ,8 ,7 6 , 5 4, ,3,

1,2

The Top Ten most visited websites in the World...

1. google.com 2. facebook.com 3. yahoo.com 4. youtube.com 5. live.com 6. wikipedia.org 7. blogger.com 8. baidu.com 9. msn.com 10. qq.com The Top Ten largest companies in the World...

1. General Electric (US) 2. Royal Dutch Shell (UK) 3. Toyota Motor (Japan) 4. Exxon Mobil (US) 5. BP (UK) 6. HSBC Holdings (UK) 7. AT&T (US) 8. Walmart (US) 9. Banco Santander (Spain) 10. Chevron (US)

Time To Educate You! "New" meanings to Old sayings: 1) There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London which used to have gallows adjacent. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung.

The horse drawn dray, carting the prisoner was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''one last drink''.

If he said yes it was referred to as "one for the road" If he declined, that prisoner was "on the wagon" So there you go. More bleeding history.

2) They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot they "Didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s: 3) Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.

However, since they were starting to smell brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

4) Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com 5) Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

6) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat.

They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: ''Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old''.

7) Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "Bring home the Bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around talking and ''Chew the fat''.

8) Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning & death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

9) Bread was divided according to status.

Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or ''The Upper Crust''.

10) Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of ''Holding a Wake''.

Job S

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hOUsE sittErs available for Nerja area. Retired couple to take care of your home, pets and garden, for your peace of mind when you are on holidays etc. Available between Sept. and May. Terms are negotiable, and any checks welcome.

Please ring or email for information. Tel.44 1490 41 2828, Email. ja.tj@virgin.net. PS. we have family in Nerja so visit frequently.

DrEaM JOB: Nail technician / artist. Tel: 952 525 289 hOUsE sittErs aVaiLaBLE - Responsible English Sisters will look after your house, dogs, cats, plants, pool. Long term or Short term. Free in Nerja area, small charge elsewhere. References available.

Contact: 634015902 rEtirED NUrsE / srN available.

Livein/out for respite, terminal or general care. 30 years experience, references, CRB checked.

Contact:nursecarer@hotmail.com or telephone 620 320 007

Advertise any of the following for just 3 â‚Ź per month!

(Maximum 28 words)

* Properties * Vehicles * General Items for Sale *Wanted * Job Seekers Call 664 210 468 email: sales@thesentinella.com

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r e d a r The T E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a boxed 8 nth.

15€ for 7th of the mocall: 664 210 46 r o s d r 1 o r e w o th 8 th before e mon um of 2 maxim nt to be made efore 15th of th a r fo 3€ Payme tinella.com b n s@these mail sale kingfisher 19ft sailing boat

3 berth. Twin keel.

Very good condition.

With trailer.

Bargain €2295 tel: 660 123 349 MgF - rhD UK Plates, Excellent condition, Recent full service

1,800€ offers considered.

For full details phone:

647 259 819 Nissan terrano ii 2.7 tDi 1996, 7 seats, 204,000kms, ITV Aug 2010, Spanish Reg, Tow bar, a/c, cd/radio, 2 new tyres, new windscreen, metallic green, vgc, reliable workhorse

3,200€ o.n.o Call: (0044) 7554 258344

PaUL atkiNs Motor Mechanic, Body Repairs & Tyres offers the following; MOtOr hOME Fiat Hymer, 2.5 Diesel, 5 berth, very clean. Must be seen. 4,950€ graND Vitara Diesel, Spanish, 5dr, Silver, 2001. sEat COrDOBa 2001, Spanish. rENaULt sCENiC 5dr, Spanish, 1.6 16v.

Can´t sell your car, 4x4 then let me sell it for you.

Enquiries all the time for vehicles.

Stock changing weekly.

Call: 663515341

audi a5 Estate 1.8 Turbo petrol, 104.000km.

2002. ITV-2011, good tyres all round, electric s/roof, A/C, cd/tape/radio. Must be seen.

7,995€ o.n.o.

Call stuart 606633970 scooter Yamaha 125cc May 2002. Good condition, one owner. Easy start with ignition, 2 seater, 14,000km M.O.T. October 2011

600€ tel: 619 58 9696

Have you got a car/boat/motorbike etc for sale -Get it sold in The Sentinella Just 15 euros per month Email: sales@thesentinella.com skODa FaBia, confort fresh, 1.4l, 55kw, 16v, petrol lhd November 2006, only 14400km, deep red, radio/cdplayer, aircon, airbags, excellent condition 7,995€ Tel: 629 624 461

Items For Sale BaNkrUPt stOCk, Job lot of “Little Kiss” boxed bras and Knickers. (These retail at 60 - 90€ per set) 300€. Call: 952 554 514

Cat Needs A Home Amber, black female, 8 years old, chipped and neutered, very easy little girl and very affectionate.

Probably best on her own with a older couple. Likes the outdoors so garden in quite area.

Call: 678 380 622

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com 3€ for a m

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Properti es

aximu Paymenm of 28 words Email: s or 1 t to ales@th esentine be made befo 5€ for enquire re lla.com a before 1 the 17th of th bout boxed ad 5th of th e verts e month month. or call: 6 64 210 4 68

EXPats iN sPaiN, Wanting to go back to England, need a place to live in the Worcestershire area? Lovely ground floor flat for sale, 2 beds totally refurbished with garage. No Chain, £115,000 Tel: Mick on 0044 7770972725 or email thermawarm@aol.com or Carmen on 662378911 or email: carmen.cienfuegos@hotmail.com

2/3 BEDrOOM hOUsE tO LEt in Benamargosa. Available for long or short term lets from 300€ pcm. Also holiday lets from 200€ per week. 2 mins to supermarket, bars and swimming pool. Call: 636 117 210 tOrrEViEJa (ViLLa MartiN), 1 Bed apartment for sale. Sleeps 4, new UPVC windows with kitchen appliances on nice complex with pools. Sold as seen, £55,000 O.N.O. Call Mick on 0044 7770972725 email: thermawarm@aol.com or call Carmen on 662 378 911 or email carmen.cienfuegos@hotmail.com for more information. www.holidayrentalinspain.com

350€. Call: 649 111 965

hOUsE FOr LEt Or saLE. Charming town house in Riogordo. 3 Bed, fully furnished, Sat TV, telephone. €350 pcm or JUST REDUCED €159,000 NOW €135,000 Tel 600 248 795 FOr rENt: 3 bed house, bathroom, f/kitchen, living room with log burner, terrace and small garden fully fenced in, swimming pool, Sky T.V, 10 mins drive to Alcaucin, La Vinuela, Puente don Manuel, Zaffaraya. House is part furnished and is situated in small hamlet, Venta Alta. 400€ per month. Call: 652 084 180 aPartMENt FOr saLE 1/2 bedroom large ground floor south facing in Torrox Park - Brisamar, part furninshed. Communal swimming pool, lovely area. Bargain Price 105,000€. Tel 658 733 661 tOrrE DEL Mar 3 Bedroom Apartment in sought after area, sold fully furnished.

Ideal for family living or investment. More information on: www.axcespropertydirect.com reference AxTOR100 or telephone Rebeccah on 952 530122

tOrrEViEJa (ViLLa MartiN), 1 Bed apartment for rent. Sleeps 4, new UPVC windows with kitchen appliances on nice complex with pools. Sold as seen, £55,000 O.N.O. Call Mick on 0044 7770972725 email: thermawarm@aol.com or call Carmen on 662 378 911 or email carmen.cienfuegos@hotmail.com for more information. www.holidayrentalinspain.com

tOrrOX PUEBLO LargE tOwNhOUsE 150sqm and terrace. In need of rebuild with plans. Paperwork in order.

Call: 95 252 5830 / 609 931 224 35,000€ o.n.o.

La ViÑUELa: Cosy fully furnished townhouse in the centre, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge, sky tv, fitted kitchen, sun terrace, parking outside house, pets allowed. Reduced was 375€ pcm NOW

for a maximum of 28 words.

Or for 12 months 30€ Call: 664 210 468

Advertise your property for sale

ONLY 3€ per month

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

onth!! s ectory s e n uros a m lla.com i e s 5 st u B Dir Business here fraoilm: sjuales@thesentine r m list you 68 or E We can on 664 210 4 ay Call tod

ACCOMMODATION

AWNINGS

wEscuela la Crujia Rural B & B & guesthouse in a pretty converted school, 10 minutes from Velez Malaga,Tel: 606 010 580.

Email: toni@escuelalacrujia.com wVista la Maroma self catering apartments in the heart of La Viñuela village. Call 952 519 095 / 666 396 562 or email: vistalamaroma26@gmail.com

wshademaker awnings. Check out our range at sunshadespain.com. We not only supply and fit new, but will change your existing fabric.

NEW! We now do pool covers as well. Diy and trade supplied. Call Craig on: 637 058 478

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE

AIR CONDITIONING

wLouise Beauty & Boutique The Alcaucin side of Lake Viñuela Call: 951 167 181 or 680 855 030

wFor air Conditioning call Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar

BOOKSHOPS

ALARMS

wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 30, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

wPerfect alarm s.L: Security systems, Video systems, Alarm systems and Home automation. Call: 608 517 661 email: perfect.alarm@listener-seguridad.com www.listener-spanien.com/andalusien www.andalusien.eurotec-ibiza.com

ALL AROUND THE HOUSE wFrank Multi-services: Reforms such as: Kitchens, Bathrooms, Patios etc. Electrics, Plumbing, Concrete Driveways, Solar Systems, Air-Con, Carpentry and any other improvement for you house or business. Free estimates on fix figure and working to deadlines.

Reliable and work guaranteed.

Call: 669 009 821

BOOTSALES wBoot sale Bar Ortega, Las Cuevas de Comares KM10 MA-3107 on the Riogordo to Benamargosa road. 1st Saturday of the month 10.30am - 15.30pm. Traders by 10am. Breakfast 2.50€! Guinness 2.95€! Cars 5€, Vans 7€.

To book your space call or text 620 34 15 49.

Supported by Mr. Clutter

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 or 951 167 674 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

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113

Business Listing BUILDERS wterence seaton & J Daniel - Renovations & Refurbishments. Professional builders with over 20 years experience. Tiling, painting, plumbing, electricity. Free advice, no obligations. Tel: 664 459 868. www.jdanielconstrucciones.com wall types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wspanish family builders for reforms, new builds, walls, pools etc. Good reputation with clients and known well in local town halls re: permissions etc. English speaking answering service. Please telephone: 660 144 402. wgeneral Builders (Spanish - Swiss Co.) based in Torre del Mar for more than 20 years.

Offers many professional services: Renovation / Refurbishment or New Construction. We speak Spanish, English, French and SwissGerman. For more info. or free quote please call Rolf: 639 747 280

email: rodgersfamilyinspain@yahoo.co.uk wMadercobrita Poligono la Panoleta, C/Juan Gris, Velez Malaga, 952 501 543

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wCall roy on: 958 640 068 / 656 561 669. Professional Machines, Best prices, Distance No Problem. 16 years experience. wProfessional cleaning of suites and rugs at reasonable rates. Dry within hours using 21st century equipment and chemicals. Phone:TRUECLEAN ON 952 030 356 / 618 475 977

CHIROPODISTS wregistered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CLEANING SERVICES

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

waDCC Filipina cleaners w/English, ref. and experience. Call: 646 692 679 / 630 498 427

wspanish Management are seeking associates here in Spain and Europe. Call us to see if you measure up to help us to go forward in 2010. Tel: Tina/geoff 0034 666135516

COMPUTERS

CAR AND 4 x 4 PARTS wall Makes and Models Land Rover specialists, trade and public welcome. Nationwide delivery service. Tel: 951 707 785 www.tropical4x4.com

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARS WANTED wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

CARPENTERS wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894

wPCtorrox.com. All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas.

Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware ,Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50 Euros. Call Rab on: 952967124 or 645236259. wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs.

New PCs supplied with Windows in English.

WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976. wComputer Problems? Help is at hand. Upgrades, repairs, hardware and sofware problems solved, NO FIx - NO FEE. Advice on buying and setting up the right computer for you. Tuition from complete beginners to advanced, get the most out of your PC. Call David Fleck on: 952 510 729 / 620 328 382 or email: david@technophobe.es www.technophobe.es wComputer Problems? Call today, no fix no fee no call out charges, 26 years experience, Hardware, Software, Networking, VOIP, Internet TV, if it’s PC based we have a solution.

Free impartial advice www.riofox.com Call Richard on 628 823 128

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Business Listing DENTISTRY

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE

wian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel.

951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. www.ianpettdentalcare.com wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157

wab ax Properties Colinias del Puerto 124, Avenida de Andalucia, Caleta de Velez, 952 511 103, www.abaxproperties.com waxces Property Direct sell or rent your property privately. Save thousands in agents commission fees.

Call or email: 0034 625 346 200.

Email: info@axcespropertydirect.com Website: www.axcespropertydirect.com wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, www.fleming-properties.com waxarquia Properties s.L Call; 952 554 235 or 626 038 851 Email: sally@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.comEstate Agents wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

DOG GROOMING wthe Dog shop, Professional grooming salon.

All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park. www.thedogshoptorrox.com

EDUCATION & COUNSELLING wFor English speakers: Educational Psychology Assessments and Services. Counselling for Adults and Children. Fully qualified staff with experience in the UK and in Spain. Telephone Pat or Albert on 620 150 605 / 678 4 2 9 6 4 9 . E m a i l :  e d u c a t i o n a n d a l u c i a @gmail.com www.educationandalucia.com wEnglish Language assessment for English speaking school children. We will find the weak areas and work to improve these with our fully qualified (UK), very experienced tutors. Please phone for help and advice 628 116 210

ELECTRICIANS wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician For all your electrical needs and problems Fault finding/Lighting and power/Air conditioning Electric gates and Intercoms/Pumps Rewires/Upgrades Call Stefan 610 048 919 electrocutester@gmail.com wLakeside Property services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber. Call David on: 627 931 357 wFrank Electric: Bulletins and projects authorised by industry. Under the new regulations 2003. New and rewiring of houses, offices, locals, projects. Aircon and Solar Energy. Free estimates on fix figure and working to deadlines. Reliable and work guaranteed. call: 669 009 821

FREIGHT & ONLINE SHOPPING DELIVERIES wFormula Freight, Call us for all your UK to Spain delivery requirements right to your door, to the Costa Tropical. Call: 01296 770029 Email; ian@formula-europe.co.uk www.formula freighteurope.co.uk

FURNITURE SHOPS wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, tel 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) open from 10.00 to 16.30 Mon to Fri and 10.00 to 13.30 Sats. For donations of furniture please call Tony 661 826 654.

GARDENING SERVICES wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths.

Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373

Business Listings call 664 210 468 12 months = 60E, 6 months = 40E 3 months = 30E sales@thesentinella.com

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115

Business Listing HEALTH & BEAUTY wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 Email: beasav@terra.es (business opportunity also available) wweightwatchers Meetings in English.

Nerja, Velez and Torrox. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further details email: candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es

HOLIDAY LETS wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. Contact Christine: 627 820 669 www.villaslet.com 958 36 40 16

HORSE RIDING walcaucin horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Sats 10am - midday. Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website: www.horseshoeranchspain.webs.com wandalucia horse riding 1hr, 2hr or day rides with picnic or bar lunch. Situated close to Lake Vinuela. Also riding Holidays with accommodation. Tel: 616 032 215 E-mail andaluciahorseriding@gmail.com Facebook – Andalucía Horseriding

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907

INSURANCE wLCJ iNsUraNCE, Not the cheapest, Not the dearest, Almost certainly the best, *Health Insurance, * Travel Insurance - Multi trips, *Car and House Insurance, * Funeral Plans, Call: 952 515 224

INTERNET SERVICES wriosat:sL, No landline required. High speed Internet and telephone services. Some areas free installation. Prices starting from as low as 20 euros per month. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018.

Email: info@riosat.com Web: http// www.riosat.com

KENNELS AND CATTERY wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs.

Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or www.wagtails.es wthe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required.

'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa.

Email:philipclayton_1@msn.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. w home From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com.

Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses etc. wDog care in our home with us, food, warmth, exercise and affection. Fully netted secure areas. Diet and meds. Ex UK dogs home worker also voluntary work. Call: 669 346 268, Casabermeja

LAWYERS wCarmen silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: carmensilvia@telefonica.net winternational Law solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, tel/fax: 952 527 831 or 615 338 075, Email: info.ils@hotmail.com

LOCKSMITHS wBritish Locksmith - 24 hour service, good rates. Tel: 676 262 073

MACHINE HIRE wMachines for hire, for all your building & reform requirements, with or without driver. Call: 696 547 646, on road to lake. wsaxon sL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Business Listing MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David on: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to cullimores@hotmail.com. Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold and Jewellery

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, www.centromarysalud.com

MOBILE MECHANIC wMobile Mechanic, call Terry: 951 047 911, or 659 483 561. Based in Alcaucin, 30+ years experience, all work fully guaranteed, 15€ per hour. Discount parts supplied. Covers whole of Axarquia, coastal and inland. I come to you!

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.s.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MULTI-SERVICES wgeneral handyman/D.i.Y - No job too small from painting, tiling, plumbing and general maintenance. Friendly reliable service given.

Not a builder, hence reasonable rates charged.

Los Romanes and surrounding area. Tel: 618496266

OPTICIANS wheiko stumbeck, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar, 952 967 923 and C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja, 952 528 395. C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565

PAINTERS wraC Decorators & tilers. All aspects of Painting and Tiling undertaken, Interior & Exterior Tel: 638-489-711 racdecor@ymail.com

PET COURIERS

wPet taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PHYSIOTHERAPY wsanne h. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculo-skeletal conditions.

Tel 626 152 756

PLUMBERS w24hr plumbing, drainage & all gas appliances, call 666 123 055 / 952 514 333 wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 239.

24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 w John Folland Plumbing & heating: All jobs from a dripping tap to fully fitted kitchens/bathrooms. No call out charge. Tel John: 622 050 803 or 622 180 606

PRINTING SERVICES wBusiness Cards double sided from 135€ for 500. Flyers double sided full colour from 150€ for 1,000. Call: 664 210 468

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE wDoctores de la Casa, We revitalise your property for re-sale or rental. Property or room makeovers, Property Management, Pool & Garden Maintenance, Guest Services. Call: 657 247 647 or email: doctoresdelacasa@gmail.com www.doctoresdelacasa.com waxarCare™ Property Management and Maintenance Services. A full range of property maintenance services carried out by professionals, Building, Painting, Electrical Work & Plumbing the one stop solution. Property Management Specialists a very comprehensive service, Including professional pool cleaning, full details on the AxarCare website. Axarcare we take care of all your prope- rty needs. Company Website: www.axarcare.com Tel: 616809-423

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT waxarCare™ Property Maintenance www.axarcare.com Tel :616-809-423

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117

Business Listing REMOVALS

SATELLITE T.V.

w2Js removals, House Clearances, UKSpain-UK, Local and International removals, Reliable service, free quotes, no job too small.

Call: June or John 649 662 012 Email: jmcc1957@yahoo.co.uk warnold removals Local & International Great Service, Fair Price. Tel: 685 360 193 www.arnoldremovals.es info@arnoldremovals.es Call: 626 160 869

wtotal satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com wsky shop torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wsat. Co. Sky and “Free Sat.” HD. Call us 7 days a week. Call Tom on: 657 484 853

PROPERTY RENTALS wtenants-All types of rental,holiday,long/short term lets etc.,Owners - Make sure I know about your property, Please ensure you have contacted me so that I can help you.

Tina 0034 666135516 or Email: officespanishmanagement@yahoo.co.uk www.spanishmanagement.com wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com wProperties – call Pauline 619 58 9696 for your rental requirements in the Viñuela, Periana and Alcaucin areas. www.andalusiproperties.com We also offer architectural services and surveys and have a number of reasonably prices houses for sale.

RESTAURANTS wtaj Mahal ( Torre del Mar ) Avda. Anadalucia, Blq. Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, C/Timon.

Tel: 952 547 798 wtaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731 wtaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Nacional - 340 next to Post Office. Tel: 952 534 972 / 634 051 535

SHOPS wMoroccan goods, wholefoods, and a yoga retreat/classes centre. Drop into the cafe for tea and cake or vegetarian food. El Duende, 7 Los Ventorros de Comares, 29195. Tel 619800702 www.elduendeandalucia.com

SOLICITORS wC&D solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 www.cdsolicitors.net or email:info@cdsolicitors.net

TYRES wCar, 4x4 and motorcycle tyres supplied and fitted. Punctures repaired, wheel balancing, competitive prices. Also ITV (Mot) welding. For a no obligation quote call: 676 719 066 / 620 627 214 or 952 517 502.

Email: sainbena@hotmail.com Also iron work made to order.

WEB DESIGNERS wspanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: www.spanglishwebs.com Email: spanglishwebs@gmail.com

WOOD FOR WINTER wsave money to heat your house. Save 3 times more than if you buy your wood from the Petrol Station. Minimum order 2 cubic metres or 3 cubic metres. Delivery included. Call: 669 009 821 hey Diddle riddle answers

Anagram - April fool!! get Quizical answers 1) Olympic games, 2) Rep. of Ireland, 3) Dirt, 4) Law, 5) A boomerang, 6) Small pins, 7) Florence, 8) Muslim women, 9) Ghana, 10) 11.

1.Pack of cards, 2.Skin, 3.Brad was so sick and tired of window washing, he opened the window and jumped inside.

have y ou install ation in r receiv april e 3 mo nths F & rEE!*

* subject to Continuity of Contract

- Very competitive rates - single items to a whole truck load for meats, cheeses etc.

We are currently looking for agents in Andalucia to help sell this service.

asDa george

C UT AR FP0695 A delightful two bedroom, reformed finca of some 100m2 on 9,300m2 with easy access and 3kms to Benamargosa.

Marvellous views

165,000€

A three quarter finished project of some 140m2 with courtyard and 25m2 roof terrace enjoying views over the surrounding 79,950€ countryside.

Zaffaraya

FP0525

A well appointed, 80m2, first floor, two bedroom apartment situated a short stroll from the Balcon de Europa, close to the Torrecilla beach.

Mortgage available.

175,000€

Central Nerja

FP0723

A large, 160m2, 4 bedroom country house newly reformed to a high standard with garage and easy access on an easily maintained plot of FP0650 248,000€ 2,000m2

rio Bermusa

A reformed three bedroom village house near the centre of the village close to amenities with front and rear terraces 99,500€

Benamargosa

FP0592

tOrrE OFFiCE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NErJa OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306