The Sentinella Axarquia August 2011

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 84

www.axarquia.thesentinella.com

August 11

Opticians

Tel: 952 96 79 23 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 52 83 95 Nerja See page 93

952 547 601 / 952 965 724 www.casa-terreno.net email: info@casa-terreno.net

arkwrights the British store & more

95 25 19 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

The little mag that fits in your bag for ‘info on the go’

Rent a Home Spain Buy a Home Spain Torre del Mar

Benajarafe

For Rent Ref: R3 - 178 Ground floor of Villa: 130m², 3 beds, 2 baths, spacious living/ dining room, Large f/f kitchen, utility, covered terrace, 600m from beach & all amenities For Rent 500€ per month

floor Studio, convenient location, bathroom with massage shower, communal pool, For Rent 250€ per month

Almayate

For Sale Ref: R3 - 134 3 bed 2 bath Townhouse 130 m² built, great accommodation, lovely modern kitchen, large storage room, sea & mountain views, communal pool, children’s play area, close to all amenities For Sale 199,500€

tennis & gardens

Alcaucin

For Sale S5 - 023 Amazing Villa with Panoramic views, 216m² built, 1,500m² plot, 5 beds, 2.5 baths, spacious, quality accommodation throughout,central heating, dbl glazing, A/C, outside lounge & kitchen, lovely pool & terraces, garage For Sale ONLY 425,000€ Marbella

Arenas For Sale & For Rent Ref: S2 - 069 & R2 - 157 Beautiful 2/3 bed 2 bath Villa with amazing sea & mountain views, 100m² built, 2,500m² plot, lovely kitchen, pool, terraces & gardens For sale 199,950€

For Rent Ref: R0 - 026 Newly reformed first

Holiday Lets Ref: HL3 - 027 Stunning semi-detached Villa, 146 m², 3 beds, 2.5 baths, sleeps 6/7, 3 terraces, pools, pádel tennis, gardens, Sat TV,

For Rent 550€ per month

Holiday Let from 400€

5 mins walk to beach

Professional Property Management We are collaborating with A Place in the Sun and will be exhibiting at the NEC in Birmingham from 30th Sep to 2nd Oct and advertising in their magazine. If you want us to feature your home specifically and massively increase the opportunity of selling it call us NOw! (See page 73)

P

Do you want us to look after your home while you’re away?

Do you want us to manage your rental property for you?

We provide these services from 20€ per month Do you need property maintenance, a refurbishment or a reform?

P We have all the trades on board & will provide free quotes

www.rentahomespain.com / www.buyahomespain.com We have email: info@rentahomespain.com serious investors with Avda. Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar money ready to buy Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414 NOW!

Do you have a quality property to sell?

(You’ll find us just round the corner from the Thursday market at the roundabout)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

3

Front cover supplied by Treve Photographers. Call: 600 047 435

m Fro Ed... the

CONtaCt Us: Editor: keidi - 610 976 284 Email: info@thesentinella.com

If you’re wondering what you can do during the rest of the summer holidays; where you can take your friends who are visiting from the UK, or what will keep your kids occupied for the morning, then I highly recommend the Butterfly Park in Benalmadena Costa.

I visited it last month and I loved every minute.

It was like walking into another world, as hundreds of brightly coloured butterflies flapped around freely, displaying their intricately patterned wings to ambling spectators.

The Mariposario (as it’s known in Spanish) has only been open for a few months, but it’s already proving a real hit with tourists and residents alike. The subtropical environment inside provides the perfect haven for these winged beauties to flourish and flutter to their heart’s content. Along with some 2,000 butterflies, the Mariposario also houses weird and wonderful varieties of stunning moths along with some not so visually appealing caterpillars. Children will delight in the splendour as they study those butterflies which have stopped for a rest on a leaf or an equally beautiful flower. Adults will join in with just as much fun as they point their camera ready to take shots whenever the opportunity arises. You can easily spend a couple of hours inside the Butterfly Park, but anymore time than that may prove tedious as by then you’d have easily spotted all the butterflies. There are even a few tropical birds flying around coupled with one or two refreshing water features.

I particularly liked the electric blue butterflies and those boasting unusual owl print wings. In fact, I never realised that so many different types of butterflies were possible!

sales: kami - 664 210 468 Email:sales@thesentinella.com Distribution/Collections: tony - 664 689 138 Follow us on twitter @the_sentinella or @keidi_keating Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine.

May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

Entry prices are €8.50 per adult and €5 for children 3 to 12 with discounts for students and the elderly.

www.thesentinella.com

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From The Ed (cont)

Strange News

Right opposite the Butterfly Park stands a Buddhist Stupa, which you can access to engage in prayer or meditation should you wish. If nothing else it’s certainly worth seeing.

Care behind bars!

A US man held up a bank and demanded just one dollar - because he wanted to go to prison to get medical care.

So there you go – no more excuses for nothing to do during August – take your friends and family to the Mariposario and you’ll enjoy a great day out.

After the robbery, Richard Verone, 59, waited inside the bank for the police to come and arrest him, stating that he staged the raid in Gastonia, North Carolina, because it was the only way he could get health treatment.

Something fairly funny happened at our allotment recently as one day when I went to do some watering I noticed that our mandarin tree had disappeared. Next time my sister Kami was there, she and the owner of the allotments went into each veggie patch to see if they could find it. Kami was tasked with identifying the tree as if it were a criminal. Finally she found the stolen tree carefully hidden in the next door neighbour’s patch. The thief in question had actually had the nerve to dig up our little mandarin tree and take it to their own plot to love and care for it as if it were their own. What is the world coming to?!

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)!

Driving Me Bonkers.....................Page 16 what’s New...................................Page 51 amazing insects...........................Page 54 Papparazzi....................................Page 82 Del Boy’s Dodgers.......................Page 83 Film review..................................Page 84 Useless Facts...............................Page 88 recipe...........................................Page 92 shareo’scope...............................Page 96 reader’s writes.........................Page 101 what’s On...................................Page 108 information.................................Page 110 Jokes...........................................Page 112 Puzzles........................................Page 114 star signs...................................Page 116

Jobless Verone said he was suffering from an undiagnosed growth in his chest, two ruptured discs in his back and had a problem with his foot.

He did not use a weapon during his robbery and said he would like a three-year sentence, though he will probably not serve more than 12 months.

Stacked up Police in China were stunned to see three vehicles being driven on top of each other on a motorway.

They came across the bizarre sight at a service station in Ningbo, in eastern China's Zhejiang Province. Officer Zhou Yefei said: "A blue pickup truck was at the bottom, a white pickup truck was on top of that, then a black SUV was in the back of the white pickup truck."

The driver, Li, said he had been instructed to drive the newly-manufactured vehicles to a salesroom in Ningbo. He added that he had driven them like that for more than 600 miles to save time, fuel and motorway tolls. He was fined the equivalent of £200 and ordered to drive the three vehicles one by one to their destination.

Menu del Dia - 6.50€

Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm 3 courses (including vegetarian)

Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 9€ Children under 10 - 5€ 13.00 - 16.00 Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Saturday - 8.95€

Pappadam, Onion Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Vegetable Samosa, Prawn Puri & Chicken Tikka Chicken, Lamb, Prawn Vegetable - Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak / Biryani / Chicken or Lamb Tikka Pilau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee

Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday www.publisur.net

Sunday Roast inc.glass of wine â‚Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am till late every day Karaoke every Saturday night Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

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Oxford Skin Clinics Oxford Skin Clinics are a new company to the Costa. Already established in the UK and throughout Europe, we offer specialist treatments including, Lipo by Laser and Non Laser Tattoo removal, as well as a range of La Cure beauty products.

Lipo by Laser Our treatment is designed to specifically target spot fat reduction (inch loss) without surgery, the pain or the recovery time. By targeting adipocyte cells (fat cells), the process offers an effective and safe solution to fat reduction, which can be carried out on several areas of the body.

OSC will assist with a specialiced diet and exercise program for clients.

Each treatment session is a relaxing and pain free experience, varying between 20 – 40 minutes in length, depending on the needs and objectives of the client. The clinician uses a combination of small probes and paddles to directly target the clients’ problem areas and a and safe solution to fat reduction, which can be carried out on several areas of the body.

The system uses safe laser energy, using a class 3B, cold, low level, red laser to penetrate the skin, (penetrating to a depth between 9mm and 13mm), and target the adipocyte cells.

These cells are stimulated and shrink releasing free fatty acids, Glycerol and water (often referred to as Triglycerides), which results in noticeable skin surface inch loss. The Triglycerides are released into the body and a proportion pass into the body’s lymphatic system which takes them away into organs that subsequently clear it out of the body. (Many clients feel the need to visit the toilet after treatment as some of the released fluid will find its way into the urinary system).

This process of flushing out the released Triglycerides will be distinctly increased if the client participates in 20-30 minutes of cardio vascular exercise within 12 hours of the treatment.

The treatments, although specific to each client, usually consist of two weekly sessions, over a period of 4 weeks. The full course of 8 sessions is recommended for maximum results.

Non Laser Tattoo Removal Our revolutionary and unique tattoo removal system is designed to completely remove the existing tattoo ink pigments, by drawing them up and forming a scab on the surface of the skin. The treatment has been extensively tested, with over 5 years R&D being carried out worldwide.

A number of treatments are usually required to completely remove the tattoo, depending on depth, age and quality of original ink and workmanship. For instance, a faded home administered tattoo may be removed in as little as 1 treatment on each section of the skin.

Along with permanent make-up, most tattooed areas of the body can be treated. The exceptions can be very sensitive areas that are high in moisture content To find out more about OSC and our specialist products, please contact us via the details below or see our advert. Alternatively they can be consulted at The Hair & Beauty Studio, Puente don Manuel Tel: 634 348 179 or 672 583 776 Skype: osc.malaga Email: osc.malaga@gmail.com www.oxfordskinclinics.co.uk

TAJ MAHAL Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant Torrox Costa Eat as MUCh as yOU LikE

Y L ON

9.95 €

We offer an´all you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want)

all freshly cooked to order.

You stay seated at your table as everything is served to you in courses.

Open every day - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 Closed tuesday Lunch Ctra Nacional - 340 (Next to Post Office) torrox Costa

tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535

THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos Bar)

“Marina” is our head technician. She holds numerous diplomas for chemical straightening, advanced colouring, retail cutting & perming, all obtained in Mayfair, London at the Goldwell Academy.

“Danni” is a Toni & Guy Style Director and has managed their salons in Dubai and Amsterdam Marina & Danni both hold NVQ level 3 Advanced Hairdressing qualification “Tony” a traditional barber with 50 years experience, who will be here every Thursday afternoon from 2pm onwards.

NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY Please telephone or pop in for a FREE CONSULTATION

Beauty Treatments

Pedicures w Manicures w Collagen Facials w Hopi Ear Candles w Acrylic & Gel Nail Extensions w Teeth Whitening w Eyelash Perming w Aromatherapy Massage w Semi Permanent Makeup w Reiki w Waxing w Self Tan Treatment w Reflexology and Lots More!!

Advanced Cosmetic Procedures & Electrolysis For the treatment of Moles, Thread veins, Milia, Skin tags, Blood spots, Warts, Veruccas and Age spots FREE CONSULTATION

Acrylic and Gel Nail Extensions Special offer - Full set 35€ Infill from 20€ Acrylic colours and Nail Art also available

Call: 951 232 852 Mobile: 693 740 575 Gift Vouchers Available

THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos Bar)

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist.

(BSC Hons; RSA) Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation inc. treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing & lymphatic massage.

Shiatsu Massage Now available here on Saturdays only Come and try a 10 minute session FREE of charge on Thursday 11th August between 11am & 4pm

Thermal Imaging for Breast & Body Body Screening for early detection and Nutritional advice with Janet Van Dam. Non Invasive, Pain Free, Radiation Free & Reliable. Here every Monday by appointment only.

Vibro Trim - The easy way to workout 10 minutes on Vibro Trim = 1 hour in the gym *Anti-aging *Reduce cellulite *Increase flexibility *Build muscle tone *Firm fat *Lose weight *Promote circulation *Improve varicose veins *Increases bone density *Minimises lower back pain 1 x 10 min session = 4€ Course of 10 sessions = 30€

Oxford Skin Clinics

Introducing “Chantel” to our team, bringing a brand new technique that’s sweeping the UK - Lipo by Laser By targeting adipocyte cells (fat cells), the process offers an effective and safe solution to fat reduction without surgery, the pain or the recovery time.

See page 8 for further information

Call: 951 232 852 Mobile: 693 740 575 Facebook - The Hair and Beauty Studio, Lake Viñuela

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Random Jokes :) Duz tha speak Yorkshire?

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?" yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."

-------------------A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

-------------------A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it.

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days

e v i L

c i s Mu

after the funeral.

True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin".

He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the blood y "e" out, you've left the bloody "e" out!"

The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud: "E, she were thin".

-------------------Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

Liv eM

Live at “Oasis” - Forthcoming events

Saturday 6th August - ‘Mr Sister’ fabulous double act & unmissable

Saturday 13th - ‘Guiri’ rock, soul, blues

Saturday 20th August - ‘STAR’ second time around with a wide range of songs to get the crowd dancing

Saturday 27th August - ‘OWK Band’

usic

Saturday 3rd September ‘Road House’ & ‘Siesta Blues Band’

Dont forget to look out for ‘DJ Danny’ fantastic on Fridays, music to suit all tastes and ages, Danny knows how to set the atmosphere ensuring a great night for all!

A selection of natural juices, exciting cocktails, smoothies & milkshakes all made with the freshest mangoes, pineapples, oranges, apples and peaches Call Leila for more information: 622 105 809 Email: oasis.chillout@yahoo.es

amazing!!

Look out also this month for the rock and roll band........’Smoking House’ and also ‘Blues and Beyond’

TAJ MAHAL - VENTA BAJA

SPECIAL MENU

9.50€

Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati FrEE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle tray with all meals

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito antonio) tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

Chiringuito Carlos (formerly Chiringuito Antonio) Camino Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel w Beautiful terrace with fantastic views w Barbeque every day w Barbequed meats, fresh fish & vegetarian options w Indoor salon with fireplace w Children’s park w Large car park

Everyday All day - Fresh Sardine skewers!!!

NEW MENU - Come and try!

Every Sunday - Roast Dinner - 3 courses just 10.95€ (with an English cook, this is the talk of the town) Every first Saturday of the month Varied dinner menu with live music (excellent atmosphere)

Contacts: Carlos 679 739 681 or Leila 622 105 809

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De Cotta Is it all over for the waiting game? One way of evading Spanish Inheritance Tax may be about to end. By Jon Sutton & Francisco Martin, Lawyers at De Cotta Law. Many people may know it is a quirk of the Spanish tax system that taxes prescribe. This means that after a certain period of time, if the taxes have not been declared and paid and the Tax Office hasn’t taken any steps to enforce the tax then, it prescribes and the Tax Office is barred from taking action to enforce the tax.

This method of not paying taxes has always been illegal tax evasion rather than a legitimate avoidance scheme. However it has often been used in Spain, both by Spanish families and by foreigners as a way of not paying the rather harsh inheritances taxes which are levied in Spain and in particular in Andalucía (where allowances are less generous than other regions). The prescription period for inheritance tax is four and a half years from the date of death. Although it has been used successfully to avoid tax by many people in the past, it was never a preferable course of action. As well as being illegal, it was also risky and meant that

the property could not be sold for four and a half years at least after the death of the previous owner. Added to this is the significant problem which can be caused if the intended recipient themselves died within the waiting period before having officially accepted their inheritance. The tax office have now got wise to this particular method of evasion and have come up with quite a clever way of closing the loophole. They are checking through the death certificates of all the people who have died in the locality of the tax office and are cross referencing the names of the deceased people with the Land Registry records. In this way they are identifying estates where the inheritance tax has not been declared.

When “evaders” have been identified, the tax office levies interest on the tax which is 5% of the tax after six months from the date of death and increases by 5% every three months thereafter up to a total of 20%. More serious than the interest are the fines which the tax office can levy if deliberate evasion is suspected. It is possible that the beneficiaries are distant cousins or suchlike who were not aware of the death in which case they will only be charged the interest. However, if the beneficiaries are close relatives or even co owners of the property, deliberate tax evasion will be assumed.

Depending on the size of the estate and the evidence as to whether there was a deliberate attempt to defraud the tax office, the office, the offence will be considered light, serious or very serious. The fines can vary from 50% to 150% of the tax due which could equate to many tens of thousands of €’s. If the tax is paid immediately, the tax office are likely to be more lenient.

This new initiative has led to some confusion because where there are non resident beneficiaries or the deceased was non resident, the tax declaration is done at the central tax office in Madrid. However there is little communication between the central tax office and the regional tax offices. This has led to a situation where people who have correctly declared and paid their tax in Madrid are receiving tax demands from the local tax office. If this occurs, beneficiaries receive such a demand they need to go to the local office with proof that the tax has been declared, or employ a lawyer to do so.As mentioned in a previous article, pressure from the European Union may lead to a dramatic overhaul of the Spanish inheritance tax system.

This initiative by the tax office may therefore be short-lived. However, in the meantime, it should not be ignored.

“OSTEOPATHY for the whole family” Clementine Duplan

OstEOPath Bsc (hons) Ost (Ukqualified)

"Gentle and specific treatment of the whole body, also for children and pregnant mums"

Member of the General Osteopathic Council (English register) and the Spanish Osteopathic register

Re f l e ct i o n s U n i s ex Salon Cut and Blow dry 15€ Tint cut and Blow dry 32€ Gent's shampoo and cut 12€ Blow dry 10€

Find us on Facebook for Price list and hairstyle ideas

torre del Mar, torrox & Malaga areas

622 078 432 Email: clem.dupl@hotmail.fr

To m ak e a n ap po in tm e nt c al l A n ge la o r M ar i l o on :

6 15 2 66 7 12 Ve l e z M a l a g a

‘Marich’

Academia de Idiomas Language School ENGLISH FRENCH GERMAN

Legal Services TRANSLATION SERVICES

SPANISH Join Now!! New Spanish beginner class started

Located in Puente Don Manuel at the Periana Crossing

More INFO: Tel.: 633 780 687 Email: idiomasmarich@gmail.com

www.academiamarich.com

English Legal Advisor & Experienced Lawyer Specialising In:

PProperty Legalisations PCatastro & Border Corrections PAddition of Swimming Pools or Extensions to your Title Deed

PProperties without Deeds PSale /Purchase Conveyancing PCourt Cases

A Quick, Professional & Impartial Service Estimates Given Call for a FREE consultation & get your property papers checked out. Don´t lose a sale due to paperwork inconsistencies

Solutions 4 U, Cómpeta Office Tel: 952 55 38 07 or 660 51 01 34 Email: info@solutions4u-competa.com

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When Leche Isn’t Leche The highest priced carton of milk does not always mean the best quality, the OCU Consumers and Users Organisation reports and warns after analysing 47 brands of UHT full milk that the difference in quality is ‘abysmal’.

Quality now, they say, is worse than it was 10 years ago, and the OCU analyses have shown that the content of some brands could be described as fraud.

Some were found to contain less fat than they should; included phosphates which are not noted on the product label, or had very little nutritional value. One brand, Polesa, which had the lowest mark on the league table, just 10 out of a possible 100, showed results which suggested that the milk used was ‘too old’ and that products used in cheese making, such as whey, had been added.

tensive production.

While Pascual got top marks, with 80 out of 100, the OCU marks Muu as its ‘top buy’, for its best price-quality ratio and its high content of calcium. The OCU has advised against buying the ten worst-marked brands and here they are...

Altamira Entera UHT Carrefour Discount Entera UHT Condis Entera UHT El Castillo Entera UHT Llet Nostra Entera UHT Puleva Entera UHT Ram Entera UHT Reny Picot Entera UHT Rio Entera UHT Polesa Entera UHT

The organisation said in a press release that there is an ‘alarming lack of control’ on the processes used by some manufacturers. They said the drop in quality is due to a relaxation of regulations since 2006 and to the system of in-

top five Pascual Entera UHT Hacendado Entera UHT Consum Entera UHT Kaiku Entera UHT Gallega Entera UHT

Lisa and Richard welcome you to

Bar Triana Ctr Benamargosa 9, Triana, 29718

Tel: 618 373 316

English Breakfast, hot and cold snacks and sandwiches served 9am – 4pm daily (closed Mondays) Outside Terrace Friday 5th August - BBQ- Chicken, sausage, burger and various salads, 6.50€ including one beer, wine or soft drink. 7.30pm start Friday 19th August - Beer battered Cod or Pie, chips and mushy peas 5.50€ (selected bottle beer, wine and soft drinks 1.00€) - from 7.30pm Saturday 20th - Three course menu 25€ per couple (Reservations please) Quiz night every Tuesday - 8.30pm start. (food available 7pm – 9pm) Parties and functions catered for, hot or cold buffets, children’s menu, BBQ’s or special sit down meals. Space outside for bouncy castle.

Please pop in or telephone 618373316 for more information to discuss your personal requirements

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Linea Directa LÍNEa DirECta thE BEst COMPaNy FOr EXPatriatEs at thE BEst PriCE Since 1998 Línea Directa, the market leader in the sale of direct car, motorbike and home insurance in Spain, has offered an exclusive telephone service entirely in English and German. This service, the first of its kind in Spain, forms part of the company’s commitment to quality and excellence, which have also made it the market leader in this business sector, due to the fact that it currently has over 63,000 foreign customers residing in Spain.

As a result, services such as purchasing a policy, making enquiries, processing claims, sending documents and 24-hour assistance can all be carried out in English or German at a time which is convenient for the customer by making just one phone call.

And not only does Línea Directa offer the best, it also offers its services at the most competitive price on the market. It does this in two ways: - Price personalisation: behind each quote there is a sales professional who, via a quick questionnaire, will search for the best product and conditions to suit the customer’s personal requirements and will assess him or her according to their individual circumstances.

- Maximum competitiveness: still at the best price, this month Línea Directa is making Expats an exclusive 12x11 offer, which allows them to enjoy one year of insurance for the price of 12 months. And what is more, if the person requesting this offer already has another car insurance policy with Línea Directa, then the offer will be 12x10, which is to say two months’ free cover This is the result of a strategy which is permanently geared towards offering customers the very best quality at the very best price.

Call now

902 123 161

Physiotherapy on the Costa UK qualified and chartered.

Spanish Registered Physiotherapist, Col No. 2066

Sanne H. Mortensen Neck and low back pain, soft tissue lesions, sports injuries, post-operative rehabilitation, respiratory conditions, muscle imbalance, joint and muscle pains.

Electrotherapy, manual therapy, joint and soft tissue mobilisations, exercise therapy, kinesio-taping, postural corrections, etc.

El Morche/Torrox area

626 152 756 B uilding S ervices and P lumbing From a tap washer to heating, home renovations and extensions

Our team of 3 are fully qualified and have many years experience.

All of the Axarquia covered For a no obligation quote, please call:

650 003 029

New tyres fitted from 35€ (155/80R 13)

Free Brake Check

Starter motors & alternators repaired

Service with oil & filter from

45€ inc. IVA

Air-con re-charge

41€ inc. IVA

(cheaper than recon/new)

Pro Neumaticos

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Death To The Scart Article Submitted by Sat.CO Tel: 657484853 Since the early 1980s we have all struggled with the SCART lead when connecting various boxes to our TVs. You know the problem: the sound goes on the TV, so we start to check the leads - only to get the sound and lose the picture. The main problem was that the sound and picture were carried at opposite ends of the plug which had horribly inflexible cables. Sometimes the pins on the plug ends would bend and not make contact.

type, it is only analogue-capable. Using HDMI, there should be no sound or picture degradation.

The modern TV, being HD, will have at least one HDMI input, and most will have more. Remember the modern TV is not just a TV but a multi media display and should have an onboard media browser so that you can connect your computer, camera, hard drives, ethernet for the internet, etc. Also, most TVs are capable of reading memory devices as MP3 (music) MP4 (video) SD cards from your camera etc.

Sat. Co

Well the new kid on the block is HDMI. This stands for High Definition Multimedia Interface (must have been a Yank to invent that!) So it’s goodbye to the old SCART, which was analogue, and welcome to the 19 point HDMI which is digital. This cable is now capable of carrying the HD picture from your satellite receiver to the TV along with 5.1 Dolby digital sound. The SCART cannot pass either HD picture or the 5.1 sound. Because of the cable

When selecting any new TV or device that you are going to connect to the TV, select them with HDMI connections so that you are future-proof.

If you want to see how all this new technology works, why not attend one of our demonstration workshops held every Saturday?

Sat.Co

Want to see the latest in TV Technology?

“FREESAT”

Stunning High Definition TV - For FREE? No Card, No Subscription, No Contract!

Also available: Spanish Digital TV, FreeSat + HD, Sky Plus HD, other Language Systems Full range of Digital HD TV Sets, delivered and installed for free.

Installations, Dishes, Alignments, Cards, Multi-Room etc.

Appointments available in all areas 7 days a week Call us early for same day service!!

For a FREE - No Obligation - Home Demonstration Call: 657 484 853 Or email: tproctor29@yahoo.com ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED

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Drinking We all like to sink a few now and again but when we do all kind of unlikely events occur, as these famous peeps all found out…

“Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.”

Timothy Walsh “A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”

Anonymous “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”

W.C. Fields “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”

Homer Simpson “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”

Stephen Wright “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get

drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...”

Brian O'Rourke “You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

Frank Zappa “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

Winston Churchill “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

Humphrey Bogart

ESOLA

F-Gas 2079 Registered

You wouldn’t choose a non-qualified engineer to install your gas products in the UK … so why would you here?

All engineers required to handle HFC refrigerants must hold the new European F-Gas qualification from 4th July 2011

Units fitted from 439€

Esola Systems

Best Prices Guaranteed Domestic and Commercial Air Conditioning (Heating and Cooling) Installations

Tel: 616 119 007 / 952 550 323

TORROX

The Best Clim

t Monday Marke

X COSTA

mate In Europe

Lighthouse

Cool Bandanas

are a personal cooling product that will pull the heat out of your system, cool your body off and make your body and mind work more efficiently....and help keep you cool all day.

10.95€ each or 2 for 20€

Come and see these at the following markets; Trapiche on Tuesdays & Viñuela on Fridays or call Tony on: 664 689 138 for free delivery

CardioDance:

Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle.

Dance Classes: Also includeS Rumba, Sal Cha and Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or wITHoUT weights.

Y our Heart, Your Life, Your Choice.

Almeria TO Estepona Call HuGh GRANT 606 086300

hughgrant@tiscali.co.uk

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a t s o C x 35 o r r 6 o 2 TSee pages

re! arts and crafts can be found inside and out on the Terrace. You will find El Ancla on the main - re a t N340 Coast road between Torrox Costa and s o xC Torro Nerja. For further information contact Rachael New at Caribe this month: Frappelatte the on 651 787 501 or email: taste sensation of the year, introduced in Italy indoormarket@kwiksendmail.com last year and now available in Spain, a delicious mixture of coffee and ice cream with If you need some keys cutting visit La llaverápsome special ingredients, totally delicious. Lilida in Avd. Esperanto No. 99, Torrox Costa iane’s new recipe Carrot Cake, just when you thought Liliane’s cakes could not get better they have, our new recipe carrot cake, less calories and much more taste, still available at the offer price of 2,50€ with a coffee. So do drop in and give one or both a try. Visit our website www.caribetorrox.com for further details t it he abou ad all

yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes are held every Tuesday night at El Ancla del Cirilo, a fabulous location right on the beach on Calle Penoncillo N340 between Torrox Costa and Nerja. Classes start at 8.30pm and beginners are always welcome, its easy, its fun and a great way to meet new people. You don't need a partner; come by yourself or bring a friend.

Follow us on Facebook "YO JIVE TORROX" Email info@yojive.com or call on 651 564 046 for more information or just turn up on a Tuesday night.

Lads & Dads Barber shop with 20 yrs experience. Whether you prefer mobile or an appointment, both are catered for – or just pop in. indoor Market Every Wednesday at El Ancla del Cirilo Playa el Penoncillo Torrox Costa.

New times for the summer! 11am to 3pm. Local

where Antonio will be pleased to help you. Also specialising in locks and safes. Open Monday - Friday 9am - 2pm and 5pm - 8.30pm and Saturdays 10am - 2pm. Monday - Sunday 24/7 emergency call out. Call: 655 16 69 10.

CardioDance: Learn to salsa, cha cha, swing and hustle to an aerobic workout. Dance classes also held in all these, plus rumba, sal cha and choreographed routines. 606 086300 hughgrant@tiscali.co.uk

TORROX

russells British store has a great stock of favourite British products. We have a frozen foods section and also stock cleaning products, toiletries and even pet food. Each month we have special offers in store, so call in to see our August offers. Don't forget we have a wide range of cards for all occasions. redhouse signmakers. Suppliers and designers of all types of signs - shops, pavement boards, estate agency ‘for sale’ boards, vehicle advertising, windows, banner stands and more. New telephone number: 675 091 982.

Email redhousesigns@yahoo.co.uk Website: www.redhousesigns.com

only 6.95€ Monday to Thursday. Friday night is fish and chips night with buy two meals and get a free bottle of wine as well as entertainment with either our popular quiz with "Hugo" on the 5th & 19th or Music Nights: 12th August with Geoff Murrell and on the 26th August: Summer Sounds & Hawaiian Night. We still offer Sunday lunches with an early bird option (reservations required) and enjoy our laid back Sunday lunch then afterwards with Patrick Wight on the 28th August from 4 - 7.30pm.

There is plenty going on at Los amigos in August, Saturday night live music with Johnny Hollywood on the 6th, Talamino on 13th, Alan Miles on the 20th and Flip on the 27th. Our regular Karaoke on Friday nights and our Wednesday night quiz on the 3rd, 17th and 31st August with either Rockin Robin or Johnny Hollywood and not to be missed our Sunday night jam sessions at 9pm with Dr. Dave of the Siesta Blues band.

For reputable buildings and contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans and more, contact Lewis insurance services.

restaurante El Pino in Torrox Park have plenty going on in August. To start, our summer BBQs every Wednesday with live music.

This month we have BBQs on the 3rd August with "Mr Sister" (Jack & Anabela) on the 10th August, Coastline Radio DJ with Summer Sounds. On the 17th August, Patrick Wight Mr Variety himself...Sax, Jazz, hit songs and more! On the 24th August, Johnny Hollywood and on the 31st August a final BBQ with a Flamenco show. We still have our 2 for 1 meals

Cool Bandanas are a personal cooling product that will pull the heat out of your system, cool your body off and make your body and mind work more efficiently....and help keep you cool all day. Simply soak your Bandana in cold water for 25 to 30 minutes. Come and see these at the following markets; Trapiche on Tuesdays & Viñuela on Fridays or call 664 689 138. Just 10.95€ each or 2 for 20€ Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts. If you would like to advertise on our Torrox feature pages from just 20€ a month which includes text, to promote your business further then call 664 210 468 or email: sales@thesentinella.com

X COSTA

LAGUNA BEACH N340 CTRA. DE ALMERIA TORROX COSTA

Sue & Carsten offer you a Summer warm welcome

We have Danish OPEN SANDWICHES - ENGLISH HOME MADE PIES ITALIAN BAGUETTES with fillings of your choice Taste our Roast Pork & Crackling with Red Cabbage on Ryebread or Sue’s Mexican Pie Why not ask for Sands & C Special round homemade chips.

Try also our DANISH PASTRIES - Custard or Raspberry and our new Pecan Nut & Cinnamon New! Fresh homemade LEMON CHEESECAKE with fresh oranges on top Jam session every Tuesday night at 9pm Wednesday 17th August - International quiz night starting at 8pm PRIZE Karaoke every Friday night at 9pm with “Rocking Martin the Muse” NEW! Artist Michael will be available to draw your Caricature Tuesday and Friday nights

Open from 11.30am to late 6 days a week Closed Thursdays

Tel: 952 967 734

Find us on Paseo Maritimo, Torrox Costa At the end of Avda. El Faro, down the steps and we are on the right just before Flamenco Fusion

Find us on

Sands & C

C S

CLINICA EUROPA Medicine

w General Medicine

English Dentist: Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. of London) DENTAL EMERGENCIES -

w Paediatrics

648 203 157

Harley St. Dentist of 25 years

w Physiotherapy, Osteopherapy

Take advantage of your free 2nd opinion

w Acupuncture

before you start your treatment.

w Aesthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery w Special Treatment for Fibromyalgia and Stress - www.azenta.es

Competitive prices

teeth whitening in 1 hour (call for more information)

Implant specialist

We Speak English, German & French Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Casa Maria Sky Sports

Jam Night - Mondays

(with hosts “Flip” & “Aqui te Partie”)

ESPN

Happy Hour Mondays - Saturdays - 5.30pm - 7pm Sundays 12pm - 4pm

(1€ bottle, 2€ pint San Miguel, 1€ glass of wine) Saturday 13th August - Race night from 9pm (everyone welcome)

Sunday 21st August - BBQ with live music with “Flip”from 4pm

Sundays 7th, 14th & 28th August - Karaoke from 6pm with Bjarne

Parties & Functions catered for Open 11am - Late 7 days a week Call: 667 954 901 or 664 259 968 Torrox Park (bar on the goat track) www.casamarias.webs.com

ibs!!!

Not just R We specialise in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken

SUNDAYS Stunning 3 course lunch Bookings advisable Credit Cards taken torrox Costa - Block 88

(Next to tennis courts & auto 2000)

tel: 95 253 2369 696 516 534 Closed Mondays

Weston Kennels & Cattery Fully Licensed Kennels

A real home from home for your pets looked after by a very nice bloke

Over 18 years experience Collection Service Long stays our speciality We also have CAS dogs & cats looking for a home tel: 951 254 134 660 167 902

Email: terrygweston@yahoo.com we are on the torrox - Competa road, 100m from Pavo real

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NaturVets We often get puppies and kittens which have been found by the bins. It can be difficult to explain to the lucky “finders” that as they have picked them up, they are now responsible for them. In rare occasions, we do take them in and foster them ourselves, but we really don’t have the time. So, we only do so if the people that found them cannot organise homes for the little ones themselves.

The new pet owners must bottle feed the puppies or kittens until they can eat by themselves, and then we’ll happily help with finding new homes. If you find a newborn animal by the bins, there’s a lot you can do to save it yourself. Firstly, babies are not good at controlling their body temperature so if they feel cold and listless, you need to heat them up quickly, with the aid of warm water bottles, heating blanket or hairdryer. You have to be careful with the hairdryer; the best thing is to make a little bundle with blankets and blow into it rather than directly at the animal, and keep your hand on the animal all the time to make sure it doesn’t get burned. Once it’s warm and responds to stimuli, you need to get some food into it. It’s best

to get a special milk for puppies or kittens (I recommend Royal Canin Babydog – or cat -as it comes with a starter kit and doesn’t cause diarrhoea), but as you’ll often find the babies when everything is closed, you can give them normal milk with a syringe to get by. Until they reach the age of at least 10 days, you’ll normally have to feed them every three hours, which means getting up during the night as well. After those 10 days you can feed them more during the day and they normally sleep through the night. It is important to stimulate the anus and genital organs with a wet tissue after each meal, in order to help the puppy or kitten to pee and defecate; the mother would normally take care of that. When they are around three weeks old, they can start to eat by themselves. This makes it easier to be a foster carer, and at that age they look really cute, so this is the moment to take some good photos and make someone fall in love with them.

Facebook, for example, works really well for rehoming puppies and kittens.

See main advert below

Traditional medicine alongside alternative therapies… the best healthcare for your pet!

Benajarafe N-340 Málaga-Almería, 164 29790, Benajarafe

Tel: 952 51 32 07

Cómpeta Avda. de la Constitución, 15 29754 Cómpeta

Tel: 952 55 38 50

24 Hour Emergencies : 617 001 723

www.naturvets.com

rEF. 5164

sayaLONga FiNCa 105M2 rEF. 5030

OLD wOrLD FiNCa: AUTHENTIC RENOVATED FINCA, 2 BEDS, 2 BATHS, PRIVATE POOL, FABULOUS VIEWS, LAND 4600 M2, SOLD FURNISHED PriCE 230,000€ rEF. 5135

tOrrOX

ViLLa 115M2

CóMPEta BENaJaraFE ViLLa 115M2 rEF. 5152 ViLLa 141M2

180O PaNOraMiC ViEws: VILLA WITH WALKING DISTANCE SITUATED IN A RESIDENTIAL AREA, 2 BEDS & SEPARATE GUESTROOM, 8 X 4 POOL, SPACIOUS TERRACE AREA PriCE 279,000€

FINCA SELECTION CóMPETA AREA

COast & COUNtrysiDE: LIGHT FILLED MODERN VILLA, 3 BEDS, PRIVATE POOL, SHORT ACCESS TO THE BEACH, SEA VIEW, AIR CONDITIONED, LAND 4,974M2

PriCE 299,000€ rEF. 5130

tOrrOX ViLLa 195M2

Ref: 4692 – 1 Bed, Ready To Move Into, 2,700m Land 129,000€ Ref: 4957 - 2 Beds, Needs Renovation, 4,000m Land 156,000€

CLOsE tO tOrrOX ViLLagE: CHARMING VILLA, 3 BEDS, 2 BATHS, PRIVATE POOL, INTERIOR PATIO, PORCH, SEA VIEW, SEMI-FURNISHED, LAND 3700 M2

PriCE 230,000€

Ref: 4648 - 3 Beds, Renovated, Near Cómpeta 180,000€ Ref: 5100 - 2 Beds, Heated Pool, Renovated 235,000€

ELEgaNCE & qUaLity: EXCLUSIVE ELEGANT VILLA, SPACIOUS 2 BEDS, 2 BATHS, GARAGE, POOL, GOOD ACCESS, 10,000M2 LAND

PriCE 385,000€

Cómpeta: Plaza almijara, 21 - 29754 Cómpeta - tel: (0034) 952 516 178 torrox: Calle Ortigosa, 7 - 29770 torrox - tel: (0034) 952 539 125

Email: sales@countryproperties.net

www.countryproperties.net

38

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Spanglish Webs The story so far...

Web design first caught my attention some years ago when I discovered that writing codes, not are which widely understood, could be used to create a huge variety of interesting graphics and designs, the building blocks of understandable and user-friendly websites.

I had always been interested in IT and this discovery inspired me to learn and develop my skills from many different sources. Web design changes constantly and I enjoy implementing the new techniques and languages as they emerge.

From there, Spanglish Webs evolved and has now been going for six years.

Our portfolio now includes a wide range of websites ranging from simple one-page designs to complex multilingual database-run websites, including estate agencies, property rentals, online shops and personal blogs.

We are currently expanding to offer direct domain and hosting services, full search engine optimization packages, social media interfacing and websites using the most up-to-date technologies.

Our aim is to ensure easy access to the internet and make website ownership available to everyone.

By Rachel Winspear Please feel free to contact me.

Email: info@spanglishwebs.com Tel: 951 708 454 Mob: 691 660 187

40

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Men’s Pickup Lines The best cheesy chat ups

Caught Short!!

If she hasn’t....

1. There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you.

2. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

3. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

4. Hi! Can I buy you a car?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I am a magical being, take off your bra.

7. Can I have directions? ("To where?") To your heart.

8. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

9. That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.

10. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologists.

She soon will!!

SAXON S.L JcB Digger Hire velez-Malaga Area ServiceS *MiNi DiGGer'S & JcB 3cX *ALL MANNer OF DiGGiNG AND BUiLDiNG WOrK UNDerTAKeN *STOrM DAMAGe *LANDSLiDeS AND TrAcK cLeAriNG *MiNi BUS FOr Hire

662 39 83 72 / 678 23 22 53 email: saxonsl@live.co.uk

11 years experience on the Costa

w w w w

Maintenance Technical Service Installations Repairs

Computerised analysis of water

NOW AVAILABLE!!

Instant test for bacteria the only one on the Coast Results in 20 mins Español - English - Francais - Nederlands

www.aquamarinepools.eu aquamarinepools@hotmail.com

600 811 355

ANDALUCIA HOME SERVICES All round no nonsense property services based near Viñuela.

We offer a reliable service you can trust with no gimmicks or fancy jargon

VERY COMPETITIVE RATES!!

Maintenance

Repairs Pool cleaning & servicing Gardens kept tidy Makeovers on tired properties

Caretaking

Change overs On call for guests Onsite problem solving Regular security checks Key holding Enjoy peace of mind knowing that your home in the sun is in safe hands Contact us on 0034 634 408 838 or e-mail kimsmith691@hotmail.com

Ref. SH631

Ref. SH646

Nice apartment on beachfront with sea views, living room, kitchen, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, terrace, communal pool and parking. The flat is completely renovated and furnished.

Apartment located in 2nd line of beach, has 3 bedrooms, living room, kitchen, bathroom, terrace with sea views.

The apartment is located 50m from the beach. To renovate.

150,000€

110,000€

Ref. SH612 Nice apartment in the centre of Torre del Mar with beautiful sea views.

1 bedroom, bathroom, big living room with nice terrace, fitted kitchen, communal swimming pool.

Just 100 metres from the beach.

118,000€

Ref. SH642

Very nice house in the country and near the beach. Impressive sea views. Plot of 2,700m2 and house of 112m2. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, built-in wardrobes, fitted kitchen, living room with chimney and air conditioning, store room of 16m2, laundry.

The plot is fenced, automatic irrigation, fruit trees. Just 1 kilometre of track.

220,000€

C / Infante 23, Edif. Faro 1, bajo, 29740 Torre del Mar, Málaga, España Tel./Fax. 0034 / 952 54 70 76 / 658 93 31 87 e-mail: info@suissehome.com www.suissehome.com

42

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Driving Me Bonkers Columnist Debbie Hulme reveals what makes her scream “aaargh” on the roads.

swing in to the right between 2 cars. The one behind me has to brake to let me in, as do I.

What is it about the N-340 that turns ordinary people into irate people who swap their brain for that of a deranged rally driver the moment they turn on to the slip road?

Mr tailgater races past me, grinning at his ingenious little trick. I see the size of his brain reflected in his wing mirror as he whooshes by.

I’ve seen bigger peas. I raise one finger and twizzle it, a picking-your-nose motion, if you like.

When I rule the world, I will have a car with a big corkscrew sticking out of the back, and I’ll bore big holes in the bonnet of anyone who dares to drive up my bum.

The purpose of tailgating is to frighten the person in front. Driving up someone’s rear end does not, I repeat NOT, make them go faster, nor immediately change lanes. Instead, they feel panicked and grip the wheel, staring resolutely ahead, paralysed with fright. This prevents them from using the indicators, checking other lanes they might want to move into, nor to manoeuvre safely out of the loony’s way.

Take this example; there I am whizzing along in the outside lane at 120 km/h. Quite fast enough. And in the inside lane everyone is doing about 70. Suddenly a big black car zooms up my backside, so close I think he’s going to hit me.

My knuckles go white and I stare right ahead.

A teeny glance to the right shows me that I can’t swerve in, as there is slow moving traffic in my way. I can’t go faster because the road’s too bendy.

I glance in the mirror to see this prat shaking his fist. I ignore him. Finally I see a tiny gap and

Mr I’m In Such A Hurry Move Out Of My Way has stopped being in a hurry. He brakes sharply and reduces his speed to 65. He pulls in front of me and waves energetically, pointing at the next exit and suggesting politely that I use it.

So I slow down even more. He’s now doing 50. He wasn’t in a rush at all, the big liar. so driving After slowly that a tractor beeps at me, I finally escape by indicating right. He notices and follows suit, swinging off the road to take an interesting trip round the campo, as I’ve accidentally on purpose chosen an exit that’s not a cambio de sentido. Whoops. Have a nice day Mr, I think as I continue driving past the exit.

The moral of the story is this. If you are a tailgater, your stupid scary driving style will probably increase your journey time, because people are too scared to get out your way.

However, never fear, because chances are you aren’t in a hurry in any case. And if you are, well you should’ve got up earlier.

Debbie Hulme

to discuss your individual needs, please speak your local advisor richard Mills. tel: +34 607 845 603 Email: richard.mills@devere-group.com

44

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Male vs Female... ...at the cash machine a new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

What A Load Of Rubbish!

Great! Where has my car gone?

Maybe it’s time to get a new car, people obviously think it’s rubbish!

Male procedure: 1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Lower your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

Female procedure: (Unfortunately, most of this is the truth.!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Drive forward 2 feet.

19. Reverse back to cash machine.

20. Retrieve card.

21. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

22. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

23. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

24. Redial person on mobile phone.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release Hand Brake.

Luckily I got there in time.

Breast & Body screening Medical Thermography

Janet van Dam

618 989 125 w Non Invasive w Pain Free w

Radiation Free

w Reliable Centro Mar y salud, El Morche 952 532 065 Medicare Nursing services, Cala de Mijas 952 835 776 E.g.O. hair & Beauty, Cómpeta 616 022 734 hair & Beauty studio, Puente don Manuel 951 232 852

PREVENTION & EARLY DETECTION

www.medical-thermography.org

The Garden Restaurant Fully air conditioned Opening Hours

Breakfasts served from 10.00am

Full English 6€ (2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausages, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms & 2 toast) Small Breakfast 4€ (half the above), Bacon/Sausage/Egg Sandwiches, Eggs on toast (fried or scrambled), Toast & marmalade

Lunch Menu from 1pm - Evening Menu from 6pm CLOSED THURSDAYS

Superb Sunday Roast

Choice of 6 Starters ~~~~~~~~ Choice of 3 meats (or combination of 2 meats) Lamb now available (3€ supplement) ~~~~~~~~ Choice of 6 Desserts ~~~~~~~~ 3 courses only 10.95€ 1pm - 6.30pm (last orders) ~~~~~~~~ Evening Menu from 7pm

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL! Various choices of Starters & Mains or Mains & Desserts including a glass of wine or beer.

Now including Saturdays 6pm - 8pm

7.50€

Please call for more information:

665 070 281 / 618 496 269 Available for private functions, Birthdays, etc. with special menus or meals of your choice

To Puente don Manuel

HEATING - COOLING - SOLAR SALES - SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

Funky Ladies on the Costa del Sol Looking for a space to unload it all!

Check out this blogspot w ww.stillfunky a t5 0 .c o m Contact sunny at costachat@gmail.com

English Dental Technician Over 20 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640

DENtist Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Talk Of The Town!

La Tasca eat drink relax...

How many times have you gone to a cafe for a coffee and a bocadillo/roll and come away totally uninspired, with aching jaws and sore gums from the rock hard bread?

Well I can safely say that, at last, you don't have to endure this pain anymore! Pay a visit to "La Tasca", the rustic, ambient street cafe in Torre del Mar. It is run by the likeable Irishman, Joe and his gorgeous Swedish partner, Viveqa and quite frankly, the place is a little treasure.

Joe had a vision of creating gourmet sandwiches, made to order with only fresh ingredients - and boy, has he done it well!! He has taken weeks perfecting each sandwich, swapping ingredients, changing butchers, bakers (and candlestick makers) and suppliers and has come up with a mouthwatering selection of juicy sandwiches all available on a choice of breads.

I have tasted good sandwiches before, but these are something else! The Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese is divine, with thick salmon, spring onion and salad leaves. Or how about the Grilled Chicken and Bacon Pesto with cheese, lettuce, red onion, tomato and pesto dressing. Both of these have been tried, tested and verified by "yours truely" and by the time this has gone to press, would have done the same, I'm sure, with the Grilled Steak Cheese, The Flamed Grilled Steak Burger and The BLT. I may even try the Vegetarian, which would be a first, because they are that good!!!

So all in all then, go and pay "La Tasca" a visit and have your tastebuds tantalised with a right proper sarnie for a change. You'll be impressed with the quality, impressed with the people and impressed with the ambience.

You'll find La Tasca in the slip road of Avda. Andalucia, Malaga direction, in Torre del Mar, opposite the Police Station.

See main advert opposite

47

Random Joke A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed.."Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband. He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time."

When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.

"Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day."

Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish.

She told her golf partners about it and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.

Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the window sill while he was licking his arse!"

SPANISH LESSONS Nerja or Puente Don Manuel

Mobile: 606 510 479 www.sunshinewoodwork.co.uk sunshinewoodwork@live.co.uk We have chicken coops for rent or sale

Fencing, gates, pergolas, car ports, decking, borders, garden swings chairs, garden tables and chairs, trellis in all sizes, plant pots and lots, lots more....

Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email: acecarrental@hotmail.co.uk www.acecarrental.biz

Michael/Maria Reeve Airport pick-up and delivery Urb. Lomas del Sol nº4 Benajarafe Alto, 29790 MALAGA - SPAIN

Pest Control Wasp Nests Cockroaches & Hornets TERMINATED 609 915 770

Shiatsu Massage in your home

For the relief of stiff joints, stress, neck & shoulder discomfort

Special Summer Offer:

30 mins on chair 30€ 25€ 60 mins on Futon 55€ 45€

For an appointment or further information please call José on: 639 820 482

ONLy 5€ per hour Small classes Translation Service wE OFFEr BEst PriCEs ring Maria - 637 441 721 Chris - 637 441 743 gOLF sErViCEs LEssONs

rEPairs

Nerja or Viñuela 15€ 1/2 hour Beginners to Pros

Club regrips / shafts Electric Trolleys bought/sold

CLUB hirE

wE BUy/sELL Secondhand golf 19€ per day equipment - mens/ladies 39€ per week Call Chris: 637 441 743 Clubs for sale from 79€ per set Ray: 662 260 449

AIR CONDITIONING Repairs Servicing / Installations Tel: 651 198 409 Email: coolenergy007@yahoo.co.uk

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

49

Smart Answers Of The Year For those smart arses out there...

they're dead.'

5th Place It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the stewardess asked the man seated in the front row.

'What are my choices?' the man asked.

'Yes or no,' she replied.

2nd Place The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.

The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

4th Place A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

3rd Place A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, madam,

Save up to 50% compared to conventional retaining walls

1st Place A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.'

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrives. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of petrol!'

Dry-stone Gabion Walls Do it yourself or we supply and erect.

Up to 50% saving against conventionally built stone walls

Do it yourself kits supplied with full instructions and advice or we can supply and erect using our own fully qualified staff.

All products delivered direct from the manufacturer in the UK No planning required No architects drawings No long waits for building licences Suitable for landslips, retaining wall solutions & ornate landscaping All Gabion baskets are guaranteed for over 50 years against corrosion Gabions act as natural drainage so no water diversions are necessary No sand or cement needed

For a FREE no obligation quote & site survey call:

952 516 218 / 660 792 282 O r vi s i t our new websi te www.gabionspain.com / gabionspain@gmail.com

MARDI GRAS “Benamargosa” DOES YOUR SEPTIC TANK NEED CLEANING? Call us and we will come & empty your septic tank.

(Certified)

CONSTRUCTIONS & RENOVATIONS

652 65 60 66 Competa, Malaga www.construccionesschmid.com E-mail: construccionesschmid@hotmail.com

**SPANGLES**

Is cooking every weekend FRI & SAT Evenings * SPECIAL Mardi Gras Chicken Curry, served with rice and sambols € 5.00 full menu also available

acyrlics 25€ per set hairdressing from 7€

SUNDAY lunches * SPECIAL Traditional English Roast Choice of 4 meats, roast potatoes, 3 vegetables, yorkshire puddding, jug of homemade gravy. € 5.00 full menu also available

Tel. Mobile 634 125 175 Torrox & surroUnding areas

Find us in Bar Plaza, Benamorgosa.

Tel: 638 489 711

HAIR & NAILS

gEL NaiLs **sPECiaL OFFEr - aUgUst**

ONLy 20€ per set

CAR BOOT SALE OLD & NEW 1st Sunday of every month

Restaurant El Pantano 9.30am - 1.30pm

(On the A356 towards Colmenar, overlooking the lake)

“BARGAINS GALORE”

Call: 619 471 301 / 669 600 419

Glass Curtains!

Summer is here!

Our fitters still have to work!!

So we have introduced SUMMER MADNESS!!

Place your order to be fitted anytime over the summer months (before September) and we will give you our best ever deal.

Limited number of installations SO HURRY!!

Product Benefits:

Other Products

w Doesn’t spoil views

Replacement Windows/Doors

w Folds neatly away

aUtOCOOL The only mobile service specialising solely in car air-con systems.

Get your a/c serviced now before next summer and before it lets you down.

Have your headlights gone opaque or yellow?

Before This is now a fail on After the ITV test so get them professionally refinished.

For both services call Mike now on 951 321446 or 616 264067 www.autocoolspain.com

w Elimates dust and dirt

Glass cut to size

w No need to bring furniture inside

Shower Screens

w Warmer winter homes w Increases value to property w Adds security w Reduces noise

Repairs to all Glass Products Conservatories Solar Film

call Glass curtains Direct on: 626 458 954 email: glasscurtainsdirect@gmail.com www.firstglasscurtains.net

51

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

What’s New? New in Axarquia this month...

Oxford Skin Clinic...

A new company to the Costa. Already established in the UK and throughout Europe, they offer specialist treatments including, Lipo by Laser and Non Laser Tattoo removal, as well as a range of La Cure beauty products. To find out more about OSC and their specialist products, please contact them via the details below or see their main advert. Alternatively they can be consulted at The Hair & Beauty Studio, Puente don Manuel Tel: 634 348 179 or 672 583 776 Skype: osc.malaga Email: osc.malaga@gmail.com www.oxfordskinclinics.co.uk Bluewater Granada Motor Yacht Charters that offer 3 & 6 hour trips for either leisure or fishing.

They also offer Sunset cruises and are based in Almunecar. Telephone: 655 224 055 or email: bookings@bluewatergranada.com

Megabytes A new company that are offering brand new laptops at MEGA Bargain Prices. All are in English with Windows 7 and guarantees.

From Netbooks to 17” Laptops and Desktops you would be crazy not to buy one!

Telephone: 677 843 174 or 663 583 427 or email: megabyte.electricals@gmail.com The Cool Dude I know the company isn’t new but “The Dude” has informed me of some exciting additions to his portfolio. These are The Cool / Warm Eye Mask and The Cool / Warm Universal Compress for wrist, knee, forearm and elbow. If you don’t know yet where to see all of “The Dude’s” products, whether to cool you down or heat you up, then go to the Farmer’s Market at Trapiche on Tuesdays and the Market at Puente don Manuel on Fridays. You can alternately call him on: 664 689 138

MANZ

On Of go fer ing s!! !

PVC & ALumiNium WiNdOWS & dOOrS

SALE/iNSTALLATiON:

w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Mobile: 608 241 429

Email: manzygarcia@gmail.com

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAKE VIÑUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant.

We are signposted from there.

From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers.

Everything you need for when little ones come to visit.

PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: www.nurseryneeds.com EMAIL: dawn@nurseryneeds.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

53

Walking The Dog A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane, when unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney. Along the way the flight attendant explained that there would be a delay and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her guide dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her and calling her by name said, 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'

The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.'

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a guide dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered.

They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

...Things aren't always as they appear!!

54

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

g n i z a Am cts Inse

g zin s ma ust i A g o n t Au g o into ntis n i g v a mo yin M re nd fl aying a We cts a e Pr e th Ins

The praying mantis belongs to an order of insects – mantidae -- which contains approximately 2,200 species in 15 families worldwide in temperate and tropical habitats. Many different varieties live in Spain.

1. The Latin name for ‘praying mantis’ is Mantis religiosa; it got its colloquial name because of its typical prayer-like stance.

2. The term mantis derives from the Greek word for prophet.

3. Larger species have been known to prey on small lizards, frogs, birds, snakes, fish, and even rodents; most species of mantis are known to engage in cannibalism.

4. They can not only blend with the foliage, but mimic it, appearing as either living or withered leaves, sticks, tree of blades bark, grass, flowers, or even stones. Some species in Africa and Australia are even able to turn black following a bushfire to blend in with the fire ravaged landscape.

Printer ink cartridges

Original or Compatible for all major printer brands Free delivery from Nerja to Rincon de la Victoria on all orders over 60€

Example: Epson, Brother and Canon compatible ink cartridges from 5€ each We also stock a full range of office and home stationery supplies, blank media CD & DVD, printing paper, note pads, pens, pencils, laminating sheets, office card, plastic cards & wallets

Visit us at your local markets every week, 10am -1.30pm Tuesday: Los Jardines del Trapiche (nr Velez Malaga) Wednesday: Algarrobo Costa (Lidl car park) Friday: Chiringuito Antonio Puente don Manuel Sunday: La Trocha Shopping mall Coin

To order call Lynn: 636 298 538 or John: 606 126 435 Email: sales@printerink.es

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

55

Amazing Animals (Continued) 5. The female often eats the male either during or immediately after mating.

10. To hunt, mantids either sit and wait for an insect to pass by, or they stalk them.

6. Most praying mantises have wings and can fly.

11. Their front legs have rows of sharp spines to help them hold on to their prey, which they usually begin to eat head first.

7. In tropical species, the natural lifespan of a mantis in the wild is about 10–12 months.

8. There is a long-standing American urban legend that killing a praying mantis is illegal and subject to a fine.

9. In an episode of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’ Xander is seduced by an attractive biology teacher who turns out to be a giant praying mantis.

12. Most mantids range in length from 0.5 to 6 inches (1.2 to 1.5 cm), but one species in Asia can reach 10 inches (25 cm) long.

13. In China, roasted praying mantis eggs were eaten to treat bedwetting.

14. The closest relatives of mantises are termites and cockroaches.

15. A mantis can turn its head through almost 300 degrees.

Winter Opening Hours: 19.00 - 22.30 Sunday Lunch & Bank Holidays: 13.30 - 15.30 Tuesdays Closed Summer Opening hours: Open Every Night 19.30 - 23.30 (summer hours from June) CHEZ SPICE: Road to Los Romanes, La Carpa

Call: 650 887 100

56

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Funny Thoughts Some more gems to ponder....

humanitarian eat?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If a word in the dictionary was misspelled, how would we know?

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air?

If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?

If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?

If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a

If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?

Clinica Casa Blanca Clinic for:

OSTEOPATHY

THE BOWEN TECHNIqUE

Massage, Lymphatic drainage, Shiatsu, Reiki, Reflexology, Ear-Acupunture, Craniosacral Therapy Do you suffer from back problems, spinal misalignment, pain in neck or shoulders, joint discomfort, tightness in muscles, internal ailments, migraines, fibromyalgy or do you just want relaxation from stress?

The Bowen Technique is gentle and works on the whole body for inflammation, illness and pain. The treatment is safe and appropriate for everyone, from newborn babies to the frail and elderly.

Forever living products: inc. Minerals and Aloe Vera Products etc.

Also home visits Ask about gift vouchers

***Saturday 17th September come & celebrate our 3rd anniversary, discounts available***

Urb. Jardines del Mar, Blq C3, Torrox Costa (near garden Centre, 1km direction Nerja)

email: clinicacasablanca@gmail.com

www.clinica-casa-blanca.com

Tel: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673

POOL TABLE

BAR ATILA

INTERNET ACCESS FREE WI-FI

Open Everyday from 11am except Thursday Kitchen open: 11am - 3pm & 6pm - 9pm Sun 12pm - 5pm Closed Thursdays

Monday nights - 8pm - Bingo Tuesday nights - 8.30pm - quiz Wednesdays & Sundays - 2pm - Pool Club Happy Hour - Mon - Fri 6pm - 7pm (Mahou 1.25€ pint, non-branded spirit & mixer 1.75€)

FOOTBALL IS BACK!!!!

Wednesday 10th - England v Holland Saturday 13th - Premiership starts Champions League, Lower leagues, Internationals

All in FULL HD!!

Saturday 20th - Elvis & Buffet in conjunction with The Vinuela Social Club Tickets available at the bar

SKY SPORTS

Thank you for all your support over the last 4 years and I would like to take this opportunity to wish Kim & Nicky the very best of luck - Jo x

ESPN

For information or bookings call:

682 502 870

C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel

58

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

The Word Queen Now for some more tips on how to create a believable setting for your book, continuing on from point three in last month’s article.

writer’s job is to flesh out details, but to a point.

Give readers just enough information so that they’re able to fill in some details on their own.

3. Use the Five senses – There are more ways to get across a book’s setting than by describing what everything looks like. Your reader has five senses, so it’s important to engage them all.

8. Use the 4 w’s – Use the four W questions: Who, What, Where, When?

4. Make Logical Decisions – Does your setting make sense? Readers won’t buy into a book where the characters are in a world that is dangerous to humans, but where they are able to move around freely without protective suits.

5. Be Creative – Let your imagination run riot and explore the surroundings in your story as you write. Make them as vivid and as real as you can.

6. keep your Ears and Eyes Open – Observe the world around you. Some of the best ideas you’ll get for setting could be across the street, or something you discover on your way to work.

7. include Details But Not tOO Many – The

9. think about Context – A beautiful sunny day by itself will seem unordinary, but after leaving a haunted castle, a beautiful day will be like paradise and a character will lap it up!

10. Consider your Characters – To create the perfect setting ask yourself about your characters. Are they Southern folk, or Northerners?

Do they live in a small flat, or a multimillion dollar mansion? These questions effect setting and you need to pay them some attention.

Hope these help… next month I’ll include a creative writing exercise to help you get to know your characters.

Love & Light, The Word Queen xx

Colmenar Gym *Pilates

(Classes in Colmenar & Puente don manuel)

low impact aerobics

*Circuit training - freeweights *Personal training one to one or groups new Zumba classes a great way to keep fit and have fun For more details contact: Carol 659 295 346 email: bodynsoul@hotmail.co.uk

rEaL EstatE iNsUraNCE

Exclusive agents for allianz insurance C010924887168h Car - Home - Commercial - Community Health - Accidents - Life - Pensions Boat - Hunting - Fishing avda. antonio tore tore 1 Bajo 29740 torre del Mar tel & Fax: 952 965 332 Mob: 609 558 567 Email: palacio.manuel@allianzmed.es

Vanessa´s Traditional Sunday Roast to share Daytime or evening Chicken, Pork or Beef served with a choice of traditional trimmings or jacket potato & salad. Always very popular so book early! 3 courses from 20€ per couple

The Lemon Tree “El Limonero” Lounge Bar te ebsi s w w e r ne treerio. u o on k at Loo .thelem www

Light Bites & Specials served every evening

***FERIA - RIOGORDO 15TH AUGUST *** LIVE MUSIC TO KICK OFF THE FERIA - START YOUR PARTY WITH US!!

Mon 15th Aug - “The Second Time Around” (Rock Band) 10pm - 2am Sat 6th Aug - Cocktail night - All 4€ & 1/2 price between 9-10pm!!!

Fri 19th Aug - Mr Sister invites singers to join him - pre-arranged songs only so please contact us in advance.

Come to our popular quiz every Thursday. Enjoy good food, good fun and above all a good laugh!!

NEW SUMMER OPENING HOURS

Tuesday - Friday from 6pm 1pm Saturday & Sunday Private functions catered for

Calle Vienteocho de Febrero Riogordo

(Turn right and right again at the Painted Star on the road)

Call: 620 3535 94 Find us on

“The Cool Dude” The coolest man on the Costa!!!

Doing his utmost to keep you cool

Magicools

The only supplier on the Costa del Sol The world’s first & safe atomised instant cooling spray “Magicool” complies with UK, USA & European safety regulations Available in 3 sizes; 75ml - 3€ 150ml - 4€ 200ml - 5€

Cool/Warm Eye Mask

This fully adjustable eye mask can be used cold to help reduce pain by numbing the affected area. It can also be used warm for comforting relief.

Only 3.50€

Cool/Warm Compress This unique adjustable compress is specially designed to help reduce inflammation at the site of an injury to small joints such as the knee, ankle or forearm

Only 8.00€

€ ea 5 9 .

10

ch

‘The Cool Dude’ can be seen at the following Markets:

Trapiche on Tuesdays & Puente don Manuel on Fridays Alternatively call: 664 689 138 or email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk FREE delivery in the Axarquia region

DAMP!

DAMP! DAMP! LOOK AT THIS!!

ARE YOU EXPERIENCING LEAKING ROOF TERRACES/TILED TERRACES WITH UNDERBUILD. RESULTING IN: Damp Ceilings/Damp Walls/ Condensation/ Spoilt Decoration etc. internally!

Using our new unique quality water barrier, all the above situations can be avoided.

We will fully treat the terrace including any wall/floor joints to give a long lasting barrier against surface water penetration.

FOR 299â‚Ź No Extras A fraction of the cost of a re-tile

You Know It Makes Sense

Tel: 617 993 674 For a Free Survey NOW Price subject to survey

Friday Market Chiringuito Carlos (formerly Chiringuito Antonio)

Puente Don Manuel Every Friday 10am - 1.30pm

Over 30 stalls and growing!!

rastro and Car Booters always welcome Bacon roll (English Bacon) and a Coffee is only 2.50€ If you have something interesting to sell and would like to join us at the market as a stall holder then just turn up on the day by 9am

ONLy 1.50€ a PitCh!!!

Night Market Friday 26th August (no day market)

“It’s cool to shop at night” 5pm - 9pm “See you there!!”

ArKWriGHTS

The British Store & More Your No. 1 Stop Shop Open 7 days a week

MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE & TURN RIGHT AT VENTA BAJA CROSSROADS TO ARKWRIGHT’S WE ARE THE LAST SHOP ON THIS PARADE

JULY TO AUGUST

THE only change at Arkwrights will be going into your pocket.

We have brought the prices down so that you can drink up! At your Thirst Stop Shop!

Tin San Miguel 330ml 45 cts.

Tin coca cola 330ml 45 cts.

Bottled White Wine 65 cts. summer opening hours: Monday - saturday 9am - 8pm sunday 10am - 4 pm

ArKWriGHTS

Where you are Number ONE Not one of a number Puente don Manuel

We are also offering 10% off all items in the shop with the exception of Newspapers, Magazines, offers and reduced items.

Sorry no loyalty card in the Summer months.

Welcome to Arkwrights where we are 99% successful in obtaining the unobtainable in Spain.

WE ONLY CLOSE TWO DAYS OF THE YEAR, CHRISTMAS DAY & NEW YEAR’S DAY, WE DO NOT CLOSE FOR SPANISH OR BRITISH HOLIDAYS

the Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe

952 519 780

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: www.arkwrights-groceries.com

ArKWriGHTS THE British Store & More Where you are Number 1, NOT 1 of a number Of Puente don Manuel, nr. Lake Vi単uela a Profitable business with FULL Profit & Loss accounts

is

FOr saLE For Details Contact arkwrights.forsale@gmail.com

Please NO timewasters

70

To advertise call 664 210 468

Psychic Medium Energy Healer

I’m a full-time psychic and healer. Last week I met a wonderful lady who was broken to pieces inside. Her doctor had told her she had cancer, so she began to search for answers. She came across a ‘so-called’ spiritual man who told her that the cancer was her karma for something she’d done in this life or a previous one. When I hear this, I feel great pain for these ill-informed people.

One evening I was walking along the pavement. I heard screaming ahead and noticed a couple exchanging bad words. The man lifted his hand and punched the lady in the face. She fell to the ground and I had to choose what to do for the best. A few days before, I’d gone to see a Baba at a temple who spoke about karma. I stopped and thought his wise words. I tried to piece them together as I watched the man lift his hand for the second time. I remembered that this could be their karma, but I said to myself: “Is it my karma to watch, or is it my karma to stop this?” As the man raised his hand again I couldn’t help myself. I ran over, grabbed him and pushed him to one side.

“That’s the last time you’ll hit her,” I said. Where was the karma? If karma exists in everything we do, how do we differentiate between helping and not? If I stopped this lady from being hit, surely I’d interfered with karma. If I wasn’t supposed to interfere, surely I shouldn’t have been there. Or if I was, what part was I meant to play?

So where does karma start and end? I believe there’s no karma to begin with. Life is tough and simply put, there are times when we’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We can’t go around preaching karma at the lowest point in people’s lives. If someone seeks answers because their child has just been killed in a car accident, it’s not karma, it’s an accident. This child and everyone affected by the loss have absolutely nothing to do with karma. If it was karma, we’d know and feel a deep understanding within our souls. If something were to happen to you or your family, friends or pets, never allow anyone to tell you it’s your karma. When we accept words of comfort and understanding, we can release negative emotions from our mind, body and spirit. I feel life should be uncomplicated. If you complicate anything, it’s only because there are no real answers.

Mark Bajerski Psychic Medium Energy Healer

B O a r D i N g C at t E ry Canillas de aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat.

Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy.

Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access.

We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs.

We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service.

For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 www.campocats.com

This summer our prices are melting!

pino electricidad 59.95€

64.95€

sPECiaL OFFEr

sPECiaL OFFEr

CEiLiNg FaN 132cm wide 3 speed 60W 4 reversible paddles

CEiLiNg FaN 105cm wide Multicolour 3 lamps 4 reversible paddles

3.95€

sPECiaL OFFEr MOsqUitO sCarEr 30m2 Ultrasound

49.95€

sPECiaL OFFEr

CEiLiNg FaN 132cm wide 3 speed 60W 4 reversible paddles

19.95€

sPECiaL OFFEr MiNi FaN 36.5cms high Soft touch buttons

Custudio Puga, 9-a tOrrE DEL Mar tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93 www.pinoelecticidad

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

73

Buy A Home Spain - Rent A Home Spain become Europe’s largest overseas property show with no other event attracting the same volume of motivated buyers hunting for overseas property either for holidays, investment, Many of you out there are frustrated by the eco-

retirement or emigration. Furthermore, their

nomic climate making it difficult for you to sell

other spin-off, A Place in the Sun magazine,

your property. The good news however, is that

has become the market leading overseas prop-

there are still plenty of people who want to buy

erty journal in the UK.

and who also have the money to do so. If you are trying to sell at the moment, the challenge

Over three days (30th Sep to 2nd Oct) the ex-

you have is locating where the buyers are and

hibition will attract a targeted and valuable au-

then communicating the benefits of your home

dience of visitors motivated to buy overseas

to them. So Buy A Home Spain has expanded

and with the finances to do so. It is a paid-for

its marketing activity to give your property max-

show; the majority of visitors buy a ticket to

imum exposure to people who want to buy.

gain entry, creating a pre-qualified audience

Firstly, they have recently launched their new

with a proven interest in buying overseas prop-

exciting website to great effect and have linked

erty with 49% buying from savings with no

in with a number of property portals to increase

need for finance. This is an audience with the

the exposure of their property portfolio. Collab-

desire and the means to buy overseas property

orations with other real estate companies have

and it is a unique audience with 87% of visitors

further enhanced this exposure.

not visiting any other overseas property show.

Exhibiting at the show and advertising in the

But in sales there is nothing more effective than

magazine will give Buy A Home Spain the op-

going direct to your target market and “putting

portunity to meet these buyers face-to-face and

your product right under the buyers noses”. So

sell YOUR property.

Buy A Home Spain has decided to link in with A Place in the Sun – the UK’s largest property

Contact Buy A Home Spain NOW to find

brand. We are all aware of the impact that

out how YOU can have YOUR property

Amanda Lamb and her team have had in re-

featured at A Place in the Sun.

cent years with their much acclaimed Channel

Tel: 952 54 75 54 or 664 573 923

4 TV programme and many of you will be

E-mail: info@buyahomespain.com

aware that their spin-off property exhibition has

SUMMER DEALS: Solar Panels:

shuco - 150lt - 1,900€ or 200lt - 2,150€ or 300lt - 2,670€ heat sun - 160lt - 1,750€ or 300lt - 2,500€

Air Conditioning:

Mitsuco - 2,400 fr. - 525€ or 3,180 fr. - 590€ samsung - 2,150 fr. - 650€ or 2,900 fr. - 750€

Heat Pumps:

Power First - 20m3 - 40m3 - 750€

kIELER JURGEN

RE ST SE U AU o A h RA k I B A R A NT E E R ST FET CA Specialities in Lamb, Spare Ribs & Steaks

New Fish Specials!!

“German Specials” Pork Knuckle with Sauer Kraut - 10€ Crispy Duck with all the trimmings - only 12.50€ Home made food available for Take Away (vacuum packed on the premises)

Private functions catered for with Special Menus Open 9am - 11pm (closed Tuesdays) Nr. Centro International 72, Bajo, Algarrobo Costa (opp. large swimming pool)

Tel: 952 555 402

poliesterskiko@hotmail.com

we offer garden design and general maintenance including:

Automatic Irrigation Systems, Drainage, Pest Control Garden and Pool Maintenance Pergolas, Printed Concrete

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Benajarafe about, professional thieves who will grab your bag before you even notice its gone! So do be careful and keep your car doors locked when stopping at lights.

Benajarafe isn´t a village as such, more a stretch of coastline located 14 kilometres from Málaga between Rincon de la Victoria and Torre del Mar. As you drive from the latter towards Málaga with the sea on your left the difference in terrain is extraordinary. Torre del Mar has numerous chiringuitos and beaches filled with sun beds and then from Almayate on the beaches are bare except for Spaniards who take their tents and go for the day. Just the beach, some sugar cane and the sea! Then suddenly the seaside resort of Benajarafe changes everything with its oasis of palm trees and banana plants, beach beds, chiringuitos and even a Bay Watch style lifeguard look out post! You can find everything on this beach including beach buggies which are parked up by the old bus station, now enjoying a new lease of life. There are bars and restaurants on both sides of the coast road and the 18th century lookout tower, named the Torre Moya or Torre Gordo (Fat Tower) stands silently watching from above, now useless and perhaps remembering its duty long ago when it warned the towns people of pirate attacks.

Nowadays there are different types of pirates

Sadly the 3 date palms that once stood majestically next to the bus station have been gobbled up by the evil red palm weevil, having eaten its way through the date palms in Egypt its now set to destroy those in Spain and it seems that nothing can be done about it. Only the fan palms seem to remain unaffected.

Although its now all fresh and modern, Benajarafe has been inhabited since the Palaeolithic era. In fact it is believed that the Greek colony Mainake used to be somewhere around this area although the exact location is still being seached. Archaelogical remains have been discovered next to the Velez river further along the coast at Torre del Mar. Benajarafe became a medieval farmstead after the Moors had settled there and named it.

Modern day Benajarafe is a good place to visit if you want fun on the beach or simply to enjoy its many bars and restaurants, there is also a very good garden centre that sells beautiful ceramic pots and well as plants and flowers.

By Sally Harrison - Axarquia Properties

Property Of The Month - AS2511 Benajarafe 540,000€ 540,000€

Lovely, detached 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa set in a tranquil location with electronic entrance gates, arched covered terrace with purpose built summer kitchen and barbeque, 3 car garage with electric doors, separate study and boiler room, self contained one bedroom, one bathroom guest apartment, large terrace overlooking swimming pool with fruit trees and magnificent views across the green valley down to the coast just a 5 minute drive away. The property is approached via the urbanisation La Sirena and then a short track takes you up the hill to the house which comprises, entrance hall, fitted kitchen, bedroom 2 with radiator and ceiling fan, shower room with heated towel rail, arch to living room with ceiling fan, 2 radiators, fireplace with wood burner, sliding glass doors to covered, glassed in terrace, bedroom 1 with air conditioning, door to terrace, radiator, ensuite bathroom with radiator, separate shower and heated towel rail. The driveway leads down to the 3 car garage with water deposit, separate study and boiler room housing the gas fuelled central heating boiler. Another door leads to the self contained guest apartment with lounge and kitchenette with radiator, bedroom with radiator, shower room with large heated towel rail. All windows are aluminium, double glazed, tip and tilt with fly screens and persiana blinds. There is a 7 x 3 metre swimming pool with shower and steps down to the garden and fruit trees including avocado, mango, fig, lime and lemon. There is a well that provides water for just 5 other houses and a deposito with 20,000 litres. To the side of the property is a covered area housing the large gas bottles for the central heating and a utility room.

PrOPErty sPECiaLists siNCE 2001 iF yOU haVE PrOPErty tO sELL CaLL saLLy ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781

sally harrison Owner / agent

Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com

AS2521 Vélez Málaga 138,000€ 128m2 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse in the old part of town.

Walking distance to all amenities with parking right outside the house

AS2520 Torremolinos 127,000€ Top floor 2 bedroom apartment right in the centre of town with 2 elevators and communal roof terrace for drying clothes

AS2518 Iznate AS2517 Iznate 550,000€ 450,000€ 260m2 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom villa with garage, workshop, pool, gas fired central heating, double glazing, 255m2 stamped concrete parking

240m2 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom detached villa with 8 x 4 metre swimming pool, garage, gas central heating, walking distance to village

AS2519 Los Romanes 279,500€

136m2 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa with fabulous views of the lake and mountains, gas fired central heating, walking distance to village

AS2354 Almogía 80,000€ 1 bedroom country house with fully fenced garden, chicken/dog run with store room and utility room. 2000m2 of land, sea views, 6km track

www.axarquiaproperties.com

THE MOSQUITO SCREEN COMPANY

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We have now been Screening the Costas and Inland for 9 years We manufacture all types of screens, any shape, any colour Magnetic - Aluminium Sliders Roller Screens - American Swing Doors and Patio/Balcony Enclosures ALUMINIUM - U.P.V.C WINDOWS, DOORS & CONSERVATORIES w w w

70mm U.P.V.C Internally Glazed 28mm Double Glazed Unit

w

Tilt and Turn System

w

Sliding Sash System

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Fully Fitted by our own Craftsmen

Tel/Fax: 952 565 225 / 690 296 952

Email: the.mosquito.screen.company@gmail.com Or visit our website: www.mosquitoscreenco.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Fun

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s d e i r nt Worl u o C he Of T

is a st, he i l ff t A -Z rld und o o w e s fo r d he d t islet pe Ve n 5 a rou ur s and ca... C o i d n i A fr lan 33 er 10 is st of b a f m Nu up o st co gro We Population - 512,600 Language - Portugese Located - Atlantic Ocean Capital - Praia Currency - Escudo religion - Christian Main Exports - Shoes, Clothes Literacy rate - 71% Life Expectancy - 73 years g.D.P. Per Capita - US $3,010 total area - 4,033 sq km National sport - Football

Famous for - Poor in natural resources, prone to drought and with little arable land, the Cape Verde islands have won a reputation for achieving political and economic stability.

Interesting Facts - The previously uninhabited islands were discovered and colonized by the Portuguese in the 15th Century, and became an important location in the Atlantic slave trade due to their geographical position.

Most of the population is of creole ethnicity, mixed from black African and European descent. The European men who colonized Cape Verde did not usually bring wives or families with them. As female African slaves were brought to the islands inter-marriages occurred.

During the 20th century severe droughts caused the deaths of 200,000 people and prompted heavy emigration. Today, more people with origins in Cape Verde live outside the country than inside it.

Bar Granada Free Wi Fi

Superb Front Line Views Sky Sports & ESPN Karaoke on Saturday Nights Draught Strongbow!!

Fish and Chips with Chip Shop curry sauce

PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL IS BACK!!

AND ALL SHOWN ON A 50” SCREEN INCLuDINg ALL OTHER MAjOR SPORTS

Food Served Daily inc. All Day English Breakfasts & Vegetarian options

Everyday is curry special day!

Curry, Rice & Drink - 6€ ~~~~~ Bonus Ball - 1€ entry - Winner takes all!!

Tel: 689 570 715

www.athousehunter.com/bargranada/

Algarrobo Costa

Find us on facebook - Bar granada

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Strange sex laws from the USA…

Sex And The Law

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath in alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Bozeman, Montana has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown – if they’re nude.

During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

It’s safe to make love while parked in Coeur d’alene, idaho. Police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn

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three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out his car to investigate.

The owner of every hotel in hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

In Los angeles, California, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap but the belt can´t be wider than two inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given to the event, as it is carefully stipulated.

Brand new laptops at MEga Bargain Prices English with windows 7 and guarantees From Netbooks to 17” Laptops and Desktops Freedom XL

aCEr D255 Netbook & Mouse

10.1” 1GB memory, 250GB HDrive, ,Ultra Thin, 1GB memory, 250GB HD, WIFI, Webcam, Stereo speakers, Webcam, WIFI, Sound System, INTEL Atom Processor: Intel Atom N450:

150€

Msi wind U135

Windows XP 7 hour Notebook, 1GB memory, 160GB SATA HD, 4 colours, WIFI, Webcam, Bluetooth, Intel Atom N450

170€

190€

AMD Phenom II 6 core X6, 4GB memory, 500GB HDrive, 10 USB Ports, HDMI:

aCEr M3400 Blu-ray Desktop Tower

425€

Visit the online shop for a full range of models - or email for further information and a brochure.

ONLINE SHOP: WWW.EBAY.ES search in TIENDAS for MEGABYTE Email: megabyte.electricals@gmail.com w Telephone: 677 843 174 / 663 583 427

FrEE LOCaL DELiVEry!

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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts name of “The Hoff�.

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Profile Name: David Michael Hasselhoff Birthday: 17th July, 1952

2. Trained with Patsy Swayze (mother of Patrick) at the Debbie Reynolds dance studio in North Hollywood for the Austrian segment of his Knight Rider tour.

3. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, David is the most-watched star in the world thanks to his roles in Knight Rider and Baywatch.

4. His fortune is estimated at more than $100,000,000.

5. He made his Broadway debut in 2000 in the title role of Jekyll & Hyde.

6. In 1996, he was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

age: 61 sign: Cancer Birthplace: Baltimore, Maryland Marital status: Divorced Children: Taylor Ann, Hayley Amber Occupation: Actor, singer, producer and businessman.

Claims to fame: Best-known for his lead roles as Michael Knight in the popular 1980s TV series Knight Rider and as L.A. County Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon in the series Baywatch (which he also co-owned and produced for a number of seasons).

More recently, he has been involved with talent shows and was a judge on NBC's America's Got Talent from 2006 to 2009. In 2011, he joined the Britain's Got Talent judging panel alongside Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Michael McIntyre. He appeared as himself in the 2011 film "Hop." Facts: 1. Is universally known by his nick-

7. As a child, David was very shy off stage in front of girls because he was tall and thin.

8. David is an outdoor sports enthusiast whose interests include scuba diving, hiking, white water rafting, tennis and jogging.

9. In March 1985, David helped to rescue a car crash victim and in August of that year, he echoed his role in Baywatch to save a drowning child.

10. His salary for Baywatch was reputed to be $60,000 per episode.

11. David has parachuted with the US Army Parachute Demonstration Team, The Golden Knights, and has flown with the US Navy's Blue Angels.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Allotment

Del Boy Dodgers

Have you ever felt that you’d like to grow your own vegetables…. fresh, healthy, tasty, and safe in the knowledge that you haven’t covered them with chemical based pesticide products?

Unfortunately it’s back!!

Our section that lists businesses that we no longer have any association with.

Make of it what you will!!

That’s just what my sister Kami and I felt when we decided to rent a plot of land close to the El Ingenio shopping centre. And since then we’ve been eating lovely home grown salads, complete with onions, beetroot, cabbage, lettuce and peppers. They’re rented out by Jose and they cost very little, from only €20 a month. Recently we decided to ‘move plot’ and we now rent an allotment on another piece of land which Jose owns, a short distance from the beach in Mezquitilla. The land is all ready to plant on, but due to two very busy schedules, we’ve had to postpone any further planting for the time being.

If growing your own veggies is a dream you’ve always had, stop procrastinating and give Jose a call today! 639 120 707

Cafe - Bar

“Serving a selection of new dishes and of course, Fresh Fish!

Attractive prices”

Special Offer!

Delicious Lobster 500gr. - only 18€

C/Marquita 3, Paseo Puerta del Mar, Almuñecar Tel: 958 630 245 / 629 882 696 You can find us near the old Post Office, in front of the entrance to the underground car park. Open Everyday

This month we no longer have any association with: GK Construction (Gerd Keller)

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Film iew Revars 2 C

I’m going to start as I mean to go with this review… basically the film is a load of rubbish!

The first clue that something is hugely wrong is the random shift in plot. Whereas the original Cars was a story about respecting and recovering past glory played out in a sleepy little town, Cars 2 is an international spy caper. Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) and Holley Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer), agents for British Intelligence, are investigating a ring of “lemon” cars who have developed a weapon, with unknown plans for it. In Tokyo they meet with a deep cover American agent who has information on the ringleader’s identity and they mistake dim-witted tow truck Tow Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) for their contact. There to support his friend Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson), who has

MECHANICAL DOCTORS MECHANICAL GARAGE

mechanical_doctors@yahoo.co.uk

CaLL MiChaEL: 672 923 526 679 544 409

been challenged to an International Grand Prix race, Mater happens to be so clueless that the British agents think it can only be an act.

I suppose the concept is actually pretty clever in theory, but a good spy movie usually carries plot and exposition, and it’s overwhelming for the young kids who make up the bulk of the audience..

The other problem is that, as Mater’s involvement in the spy story deepens, it eats up the rest of the movie. From the advertising, McQueen is still presented as the main character here, but he’s actually left off the screen for long periods of time.

Despite its issues, the animation is as amazing as ever and the voice talent are all top-notch.

Director John Lasseter and his team have obviously put a lot of thought into the story and details, but they’ve failed to notice how out-ofbalance the final product is.

With a little more pre-planning effort, Cars 2 could have been much better. As it is, young kids will probably still like it, but later on they’ll wonder why.

Star Rating - */***** (feeling stingy!)

REPAIRS TO ALL VEHICLES INCLUDING 4 X 4s & LIGHT COMMERCIALS -----qUICK SERVICE FOR OIL, BRAKES & CLUTCHES -----FULL DIAGNOSTIC CHECK -----PRE ITV (MOT) AND PRESENT CAR FOR ITV -----COLLECTION & DELIVERY SERVICE AVAILABLE -----TYRE FITTING AND BALANCING -----RECONDITIONING OF ENGINES & GEARBOXES -----CAR & VAN HIRE -----VEHICLE TRANSPORTATION UK-SPAIN-UK

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PPP - Property, Pool & People Your property in safe hands PPP is an established and registered property management business based in the beautiful village of Colmenar, in the heart of the Axarquia region of AndalucĂ­a. We are 25 minutes drive from Malaga and 40 minutes drive from Granada. All our current clients have their properties in and around this wonderful inland area.

Over the last eight trading years, we have built up a good reputation with our clients and guests.

We take pride in giving all our property owners the peace of mind they have from knowing that their home and their guests are in safe hands.

Our services are tailormade for our customers to give the level of service, maintenance and care that they require for their property, pool and people – hence the business name of PPP. We ensure that your home is ready for your rental in every way, from welcome packs to laundry plus a lot, lot more.

I am on call for any advice that I can give to both owners and guests, ranging from places to visit, local restaurants, shopping and any other information or assistance that I can offer.

For the property owners, I can help and recommend reliable tradesmen for any work that might need doing. I currently look after a number of swimming pools and offer an all-yearround service to ensure that your pool is kept in top and safe condition. I can provide all your pool chemicals, or I am just available to give free advice should you require my help. I can provide references and have testimonials from holidaymakers to say how much they have appreciated the level of service and care that my company has been able to provide.

To find out more about us, please contact me on the contact info provided or check out our new website www.pppaxarquia.com See main advert below

Experienced, Professional & Reliable all year service. Pool Cleaning, Chemicals, Maintenance, Accessories or free advice.

We cover a large area from around Antequera down to the coast ~~ Let us look after your property for you or your guests.

Cleaning - Laundry - Changeovers Gardening - Key Holding - Security Checks Guest Relations - Direct Reporting & Moroccan handcrafts, Arabic cakes, Vast selection of Artisan furniture and many more gift ideas. Furniture made to order.

Princesa 3, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 54 16 97 www.arte-sano.es

everything you need for TOTAL peace of mind for you, your guests & your valued property.

Contact Ron: 637 995 088 ppp247@hotmail.co.uk www.pppaxarquia.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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VivoAid On Sunday 3rd July, the Balcon Hotel in Competa was the venue for the second VivoAid gala evening. Some 300 people enjoyed a wonderful evening of food, dance and music under the stars on the pool terrace at this beautiful location.

The show was hosted by Hanna Murray from Talk Radio Europe, and the Mayor of Competa, Jose Luis Torres Gutierrez, opened the proceedings with a welcome speech. First to perform was the children’s flamenco dance group "Aromas de Albaida." The group, made up of children from four to nine years of age, enchanted the audience with their performance and gave a wonderful opening act. Next on stage was "Al Compass," a trio of young students from Competa, who performed a selection of popular Spanish songs to the delight of the audience – in particular the large Spanish contingent. Without doubt, the stars of the dancing section of the show were Grupo Salaria, a belly dance troupe from the village of Salares who brought the crowd to their feet and returned to dance two encores. Next up were "Acoustic Roots," who performed a se-

lection of their ever-popular songs and had the crowd up and dancing and "warmed up" ready for the final group, "Guiri". As ever, this fantastic rock, blues and reggae band had the people rocking in the aisles and dancing the night away until 12.30 when the show closed.

The evening was held in aid of Cudeca and Help for Heroes, and a total of €2,606 was raised to be divided equally between these charities. After the event, show director, Roger Sparks said: “The real stars of this show were all the people who attended and gave so generously to the raffle and ticket sales. I understand that these are difficult times and I am overwhelmed by their kindness. I would like to say a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who was there – the audience, the performers who gave freely of their time, and the numerous helpers. We will do this again.”

Molina aXarqUÍa LawyEr

LEgaL issUEs w w w w w w w

Traffic Accidents Insurance Claims Conveyancing Criminal Law Family Law Inheritance & Wills Administrative Claims

w Labour Law w Unfair Dismissal w Quantities Claims w Maritime Law w Tax & Tributary Law w Company Law w Commercial Law w Advising Company

tel: 609 488 501 Fax: 952 547 194 Email: molina@axarquialawyer.com website: www.axarquialawyer.com

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ts c a ss F

•You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

•The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

•Your heart beats more than 100,000 times a day.

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le e s U

•Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

•There is a city called Rome on every continent.

•It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.

•Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions.

•Horatio Nelson, one of England's most illustrious admirals, was never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness.

•What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.

•The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London.

•"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

•Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

•"Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.

•Your ribs move about 5 million times a year – every time you breathe.

•In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.

•The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.

•A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off.

•One quarter of all the bones in your body are in your feet

•Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

•Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Annoy People How to annoy the bar staff Try these out in your local..!

Order one drink at a time, as they like to run backwards and forwards. It keeps them fit.

Never put money in their hands. They like to pick it up off the bar, especially if it’s all change in a puddle of beer.

When requiring ‘ready salted’ crisps ask for the full range of flavours before asking for ‘plain’ Always wait until they have rung your round into the till before asking for crisps, nuts, snacks, etc…

If you have been waiting at the bar for at least two minutes heckle them and tell them you have been there for half an hour – it keeps them on our toes as they have no concept of time.

When ordering a round make sure that you don’t know what you want when you arrive at the bar. Bar staff like to stand and wait around whilst you nip back and forth and shout across the room to find out.

Never say please or thank you.

The shock could lead them to have a heart attack.

Always order Guinness last.

Make them wait at the bar with all your other drinks while it settles, then keep reminding them it needs topping up.

Once you have received your drinks take them back to your table and stay for a long chat before going back to pay the bill. They’ll still be waiting.

They’re not going anywhere and they really appreciate the rest.

NER

Nerja is renowned for its friendly, efficient local businesses, caring charities and all-round community spirit. It makes sense to support the best of the best, so check these out!

If your car needs repairing, or you want to have it spray painted, visit Jonathan at artucolor for the best price and service. Artucolour is a general mechanics workshop offering car body repairs and body painting.

rafters rastro – New 2 You Shop. We buy and sell your unwanted household items. We sell a huge variety of goods which are changing every day. Normally we have in stock; a wide range of furniture, lamps, vases, ornaments, general bric a brac, books and good quality second-hand clothes. Contact Alan or Wendy.

Visit ink and Chips on C/Perez. They have all that you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges and peripherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer technical service 365 days a year.

Dentadanes Dental Clinic offer top-quality Danish dental care at Spanish prices; a successful concept they have used since they were established in 1991. Open Monday - Friday 10am - 5pm.

They speak English, Danish / Scandinavian, German, Spanish and Italian.

Come and see Glenn and Carlos at the Big garage. With more than 40 years experience as mechanics, they speak English and Spanish and specialise in Land Rovers and 4 x 4s. They can

RJA

also give your car a full service. They use genuine Bearmach Land Rover parts and accessories, and they're easy to find. As you head down from the motorway, turn right at the new Lidl exit, keep right and you’ll see them straight in front of you. They're open all day, Monday to Friday, from 9am to 5pm.

Olas - With the Scottish Football League starting towards the end of July, at last the English leagues starts on Friday 5th August with the Championship and the Charity Shield on Sunday 7th.

Then on the 10th, the first international of the season for England with a friendly against Holland at Wembley. The Premier League kicks off on the 13th and we will be showing at least two games at once throughout the season. We would like to run another beach football tournament on Wednesday 17th, 8pm kick off by the volleyball nets and all are welcome. Teams will be made up of holidaymakers & bars. See details on the notice boards outside the bar. We will be showing all the rugby warm ups before the World Cup in September, the final games of the cricket and the Belgium Grand Prix on 28th. So come and cheer your team whatever the sport at Over Land And Sea. Happy hour 5pm till 8pm.

Blue Med Cafe Bar situated in Burriana Beach have an exciting and new menu this summer, with a superb selection of fresh sandwiches, baguettes, wraps and filled pittas. Open everyday from 11am til late with a multi screen TV showing all major sporting events.

Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully-qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment.

Blue Med CafĂŠ Bar Burriana Beach

From our new menu Superb selection of freshly made sandwiches, baguettes, wraps, panninis & filled pittas Multi screen TV showing all major sports Free wifi

Open every day 11am - late Paseo de Burriana, Nerja Tel: 952 52 7105 Mob: 651452 705

Guacamole Recipe guacamole - This avocado salad can be made smooth or chunky depending on your taste.

Prep time: 10 minutes ready in: 10 minutes servings: 4 ingredients; 3 avocados - peeled, pitted, and mashed 1 lime, juiced 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup diced onion 3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro 2 roma (plum) tomatoes, diced 1 teaspoon minced garlic 1 pinch ground cayenne pepper (optional) Method: In a medium bowl, mash together the avocados, lime juice and salt. Mix in onion, cilantro, tomatoes and garlic. Stir in cayenne pepper.

Refrigerate for one hour for best flavour, or you can serve it immediately if necessary

Double your pleasure of having new glasses

2 for 1

the offer applies to glasses with both single and varifocal lenses. it can not be combined with other offers and it applies to a selected range of products

Remember we also do hearing tests and hearing aids

Calle Antonio Ferrandis 23-25 29780 Nerja Malaga tel: 952 528 395

Avda. Andalucia 119 29740 Torre del Mar Malaga tel: 952 967 923

The Sentinella sales@thesentinella.com Business Services Tel: 664 210 468

a5 FLyErs, siNgLE siDE

a5 FLyErs, DOUBLE siDED

A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

500 1000 2000 5000

105€ 135€ 165€ 255€

BUsiNEss CarDs siNgLE siDE

100 500 1000 1500 2000

30€ 90€ 150€ 200€ 245€

500 1000 2000 5000

120€ 150€ 180€ 270€

BUsiNEss CarDs DOUBLE siDED

100 500 1000 1500 2000

45€ 135€ 225€ 300€ 375€

Design, Photography, Translations & Delivery all Inclusive Websites + Hosting & Domain name for 1 year - 460€

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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A.P.A.Ri.V Association for the Protection of Animals Rincon de la Victoria The rewards of an older dog: Rubia's story have you ever thought about adopting an older dog, but thought perhaps it might not be able to adapt to new surroundings?

We would like you to meet Rubia, an 11 year old mixed breed. When Rubia was just a small puppy, she came to the refuge with her mother.

Rubia was one of a litter of four but was the only one who did not find a new home. She lived with her mother until two years ago, when her mother died. Since then, Rubia has lived a very quiet life at the refuge, seemingly resigned to the fact that her chances of finding a home were rather dismal.

All that changed when Sarah and Ali came to visit our refuge with the idea of adopting an older dog that no one ever wanted. By the end of their visit, Rubia was happily in their car, heading to Lanjaron where Sarah and Ali operate an equestrian centre known as Caballo Blanco in the Alpujarras. Rubia has been eat-

ing and sleeping well, getting along with the other animals as well as the family members and has even been caught playing like a puppy. All this despite Rubia's age, some medical issues and the fact that she is stone deaf, she acts as if the farm has been her home for her entire life.

We love to think of Rubia living out her days on the farm with Sarah and Ali. To those who have thought about adopting an older dog but not yet done so, we hope that Rubia's story will give you reason to consider it again and go ahead. We have several older residents at the refuge who would love to be given a chance for some comfort in their “golden years.” They certainly deserve it.

If you are interested in adopting an older dog, call Lola - 657 21 92 69 / Pam - 952 51 46 71 or email: aparivspain@gmail.com www.apariv.org.

PriVatE saLE Penthouse of 74m2 in Torrox Park, 2 bedrooms with built in wardrobes, living room, bathroom, fitted kitchen, underfloor heating, A/C, terrace of 15m2 with sea and mountain views, very low community fees, 2 swimming pools & tennis court. Completely furnished with high quality furniture.

PRICE BEFORE 189,000€ A REAL BARGAIN AND MUST SEE!!!

NOW 137,000€ (negotiable) Tel: 644 424 320

Email: info.gspsl@gmail.com

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Axarverde - Artificial Grass

$$$ Share’oscope $$$

Fabulous by nature Artificial Grass is the solution for everyone who is looking for a unique ground covering of superior quality. Would you like to have something different in your garden instead of real grass or pavement? We have an alternative for you! Artificial Grass is not just grass, but pure luxury for your garden.

There are many advantages of Artificial Grass: It is practical and does not need maintenance. It’s suitable for shaded areas and moss will not easily occur. Easy to install. Child friendly and perfect to play on. Extremely suitable for playground surface and inflatable swimming pools. You will never have yellow stains on your lawn again. It is long lasting and does not need watering, fertilizing or weed killers. Also there is no need to spray or fertilize Artificial Grass - Noticable on your water bill.

Axarverde is based near Malaga and specialises in selling and installing Artificial Grass.

No matter how big or small the space, Axarverde has the right type of Artificial Grass.

Tel: 619 317 211 for more information

It's everyone's fave time....share'oscope time!

Last month Mr Stockmarket took a well earned holiday and as such no share was chosen to feature in the July edition.

This month the man is back in town and he has picked Herencia Resources as his August share, buying 4545 shares at 2.20p per pop.

Herencia is a mineral exploration and development company with a primary focus on developing its Zinc-Silver-Lead-Gold project in Northern Chile. Tune in next month to find out how they are doing and to discover the September share.

PLEASE NOTE The investments we make are fictitious. Profits are not guaranteed, so please only invest what you can afford to lose!

$$$

No more mowing, watering or dead spots! Artificial grass is the solution for a unique ground covering.

Save money by installing yourself.

For more info or a free quotation

Call: 619 317 211

www.axarverde.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com A special poem for older folks

97 105

The Golden Years!

A row of bottles on my shelf Caused me to analyse myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop Goes to my heart so it won't stop.

A little white one that I take Goes to my hands so they won't shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.

The purple pill goes to my brain And tells me that I have no pain.

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze Or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones, smallest of them all Go to my blood so I won't fall.

The orange ones, very big and bright Prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills Helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I'd really like to know, Is what tells each one where to go!

I’ve often thought that life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end the faster it goes.

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here right now thinking how nice it is that wrinkles & fat don't hurt.

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BEM idiomas Summer is certainly in full swing, just the way we all like it...well most of us anyway!

This summer, my six year old daughter has been enjoying many days playing with her spanish friends, either at her skating classes, on the beach, at each other’s houses, at ferias, playing up and down the Paseo.. the list is endless. One thing I have noticed is just how much spanish I have understood just by listening to the children talking and playing. The one thing that has really surprised me is how much I have understood when the children are talking over each other. Last year this would have just sounded like a jumbled mess of words. This really feels like another step in the right direction for my spanish progress. Now I have to concentrate on understanding the elder generation – which is not such an easy task!

Something else I have noticed recently is how the spanish children are really interested in understanding what I say to my daughters in English, and that they are starting to want to learn English at such a young age. The good thing for them, at six and seven years old, is this will be a much simpler challenge than for me at 34.

For them it isn’t classed as work yet, but a fun activity... Oh if only !

School of Languages sPaNish LEssONs learn spanish with experienced teachers

Practical and useful lessons to help gain self confidence and making your life easier.

From 2 hours per week / small groups or one to one Study for the Spanish Diploma - D.E.L.E. Prepare yourself for professional life; something great on your CV; or simply just for you

info@bemidiomas.com www.bemidiomas.com Camino viejo de Malaga, 12C - Velez Malaga

(952 54 92 33

So maybe you are a Spanish, German or even a Danish mother or father reading this article and think that some English lessons would be perfect for your sons or daughters. What better time to start than during the very long summer holidays.

BEM in Velez Malaga has summer courses available. Whether you want to learn English, Spanish, French or German, BEM can help.

Call Viviane today to discuss.

PLEASE NOTE BEM WILL BE CLOSED FOR SUMMER HOLIDAYS FROM THE 15th - 21st AUGUST.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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A Woman’s Poem

Random Jokes

He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake,

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.

She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'

I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'

She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.

I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'

She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 am.'

I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'

She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

------------------------------------------------------------An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks ‘What is wrong??’

The boy says ‘Me ma is dead’ ‘Oh bejaysus’ the man says ‘Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you??’

The boy replies ‘No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my moind at the moment’.

He said my biscuits were too hard Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked him one Like his mother used to do.

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Mind, Body & Spirit I was recently talking to a colleague, a homeopath with a large and successful practice. The conversation turned to the controversial issue of vaccination, and its possible links to the development of conditions such as autism.

The last decade or so has seen a remarkable increase in the occurrence of a range of childhood behavioural conditions such as autism, Asberger’s syndrome and attention disorders such as ADS (Attention Deficit Syndrome).

Many people, especially mothers of young children, began to suspect a link between these and the prevalence of early vaccination, especially the three-in-one MMR jab.

Some years ago Dr Andrew Wakefield carried out extensive research into a possible link. His results, showing a clear correlation between the MMR vaccination and autism, were published in “The Lancet,” the premier medical research journal. The ensuing public debate led to a huge decrease in the number of children receiving the inoculation as concerned mothers defied the considerable pressure being brought to bear on them, and refused to have their children vaccinated.

The health authorities launched a witch-hunt against Dr Wakefield, along with a PR campaign stressing the grave dangers of childhood diseases (whatever happened to measles parties?! Whilst they couldn’t invalidate his results, the British Medical Council impugned his research methods -- he gave his young subjects lollipops – and he was struck off the medical register. The Lancet published a retraction of his work, but he continues his research in the USA.

My homeopath friend opened a professional journal and showed me two articles documenting recent research carried out in Ireland and the US. Both tests confirmed Wakefield’s findings of a positive link between autism and MMR vaccination. He then produced a book: “Autism” by Tinus Smits MD, and began to read out the first page. It was a transcript of the medical notes of a young boy who, before he reached two years of age, had developed acute autism.

Within weeks of his birth, the baby had received his first inoculation, followed in rapid succession by the entire battery of vaccinations now prescribed by the Health authorities. The infant’s sensitive immune system began to do whatever it could to cleanse itself of the alien proteins overwhelming it, firstly by discharging the toxins through the ears. This was diagnosed as an infection and treated with antibiotics (again, injected). Next, the hapless child’s body attempted to eliminate the antigens through the mucous membranes of the nose, mouth and eyes.

This was again treated with more, stronger antibiotics. In a last ditch attempt at self-protection, the baby refused to take food, thereby supporting the body in cleansing through fasting. He was force-fed intravenously. By the time he was 18 months old, this unfortunate boy had received no less than 20 courses of foreign biomaterial injected into his bloodstream, and had eventually shut down in the condition known as autism.

To book a session call: 676 346 402, email:rwaterborn@eircom.net or see his advert below:

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

101

Readers Writes I greatly enjoy reading your magazine but noticed something in the June issue that happened to be to do with something I was researching for myself, re: water bottles. As I drink so much, up to 5 litres a day, I wanted to find out for definite if I could re-use my bottles and filtered water, rather than having to buy and then get home a huge amount.

Anyway, a different angle on your article entitled 'Warning' and quite interesting. I found this on the Cancer Research UK site. what do the claims about plastics involve?

A group of hoax emails have been doing the rounds for a few years warning about the socalled dangers of plastic bottles, containers and films. The emails generally warn people about one or more of the following: freezing water in plastic bottles reusing plastic water bottles leaving plastic bottles in cars microwaving food in plastic containers or covered with plastic films

However, there is no convincing scientific evidence to back up these claims or to suggest that any of these products could cause cancer. where do the claims come from?

A health scare began in 2002 when a scientist voiced concerns about the safety of freezing water in plastic bottles on a Japanese television programme. This same programme also warned against microwaving food in plastic containers. The scientist’s opinions subsequently appeared widely on the Internet.

Some of these emails credit the warnings about plastics to Johns Hopkins University in America, but the university denies any involvement. On their website, they say: “The Internet is flooded with messages warning against freezing water in plastic bottles or cooking with plastics in the microwave oven. These messages, frequently titled “Johns Hopkins Cancer News” or “Johns Hopkins Cancer Update,” are falsely attributed to Johns Hopkins and we do not endorse their content.”

Sally

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y r a i D

s e e t a D r Th hat´s oanrea?

W ur o Fo in y

Every Monday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Bingo 8.30pm Call: 682 502 870 Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market be tween 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. 682 502 870 Every Tuesday Bar Triana Ctr. Bemamargosa, Triana. Quiz night 8.30pm. 618 373 316 Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, Torre del Mar, Quiz night from 8.30pm with cash prizes.

APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month. Call 952 544 362 Every Friday Chiringuito Carlos Market, 10am - 2pm Puente don Manuel.

At La Vaqueria every Friday the ladies dining group meet to enjoy a set menu two course vegetarian meal for just 5€. Great food, friendly, informal atmosphere from 7pm. Every Thursday from 11am - 1pm the Arts & Crafts Class offers professional tuition in all aspects of crafting, oils, pastels and watercolours. For reservations and enquiries see contact details on main advert below.

Heather Gail Harmen’s drawing and painting classes. Puente don Manuel every MondayTorre del Mar every Thursdays and Lake Viñuela every Friday. Call 952 115 366 / 628 306 371 for details.

Nerja History Group meets on the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information, contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405 jill.christiansmith.gmail.com Lux Mundi Torre del Mar August Events: 26th Trip to Antequera. Friday 11am-1pm Coffee morning. Deposits required for all trips & events. For more information tel 952543334 For more information tel 952543334

Country Market Los Jardines del Trapiche EVERY TuESDAY 9.30 - 1.30 For an extremely organised & fun day out, join us here at our indoor / outdoor market. Lots of varied stalls to browse around and a beautiful seating area for coffees, teas, hotdogs and bacon butties, etc. available at the outside bar Call Anita 627877164 or Chrissie 617811030 for more information.

Web page countrymarketspain.com (Junction 272 onto the A356, Vélez Málaga, turn off at El Cruce towards Benamagosa and we are just before the private airport)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

105

Dates For The Diary (Continued) CardioDance: Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle. Dance Classes: Also includes Rumba, Sal Cha & Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or without weights.Your Heart, Your Life, Your Choice. Almeria to Estepona. Hugh Grant 606086300 hughgrant@tiscali.co.uk The "El Valle Asociacion" Based around the Lake Vinuela & surrounding areas. Meets on the first Tuesday of the month at 7.30pm at the Camping Bar on the side of Lake Vinuela (A356). The club organises events,trips and social functions. For further details and timings check the web site. www.el-valle.org.

Dancing for the children international dance circle. Join us for our Premier Dance on Saturday 24th September. Latin American, Ballroom, Pasodoble, Bochata and Disco. All raffle profit proceeds to the Malaga Childrens Orphanage. El Trapiche Restaurant, 7.30pm.

Tickets 10.50€. Choice of menu,Chicken, Pork Chop, Rosada. For reservations please call: English 952 510 096 German 952 965 514 Torre del Mar Art and Craft Market. Every Saturday and Sunday in the Paseo de Larios from mid morning to the evening. You will find painters and sculptors working at their stalls as well as a variety of craftsmen and women with many interesting wares on display from silk painting, decorative objects, unusual jewellery and much more.

Acoustic Roots gigs August, Saturday 6th La Peña Restaurant, Archez. Tel: 952 553 084 Friday 12th La Plaza Restaurante Canillas de Albaida. Tel: 952 553 254 / 609 167127. Saturday 13th: Alberdini Restaurant, Competa.

Tel: 952 516 294. Friday 26th: El Ancla del Cerilo, Torrox Costa. Tel:952 967 103. www.elancladelcirilo.com

TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

Saturday 3rd Sept,Meson Morisco, Sayalonga. Tel: 952 535 270. For all Acoustic Roots gigs go to www.acoustic-roots.com CAS Events, 2nd July, Independence Day Barbeque at Seacrest Kennels, Nerja. Music and dancing from 7.30pm. Tickets 20€ including wine. A great way to celebrate American Independence Day! 15th July Summer Barbeque at La Roca, Cómpeta. A full barbeque with wine, plus music by Andy Time, from 8.00pm. Tickets 15€. To book, please call 951 242 449 or 666 707 297.

Costa Animal Society August Events Friday 19th August A fish and chip supper at the Codfather, Avenida Mediterráneo, Nerja. Entertainment from guitar-vocalist Flip. Starts 8.00pm.

Tickets 15€ include wine. TO RESERVE : telephone the CAS office on 95 252 3607 (10am – 1pm). Out of office hours, please call Mike on 95 252 6312 / 699 948 993.

Monday 15th August - The legendary Almunecar fireworks display takes place this evening. Almost 30 minutes of the most mind blowing pyrotechnics you are likey to see outside Sydney on New Years Eve, will take your breath away for sure. Dazzling fireworks, all in time to music and each year they seem to be even more amazing than the year before Restaurante Sabina, found on Paseo Puerta del Mar, not only offer the best seats in the house for tonights entertainment, but also are serving a special three course menu to mark the event! Priced at just 35€ per two people and including a bottle of Navarra wine, the menu includes a house special starter of marinated salmon, herrings and prawns, a main course of fillet of Pork with almond sauce followed by a dessert of pears with vanilla icecream and chocolate sauce. For further enquiries or to reserve a table call 958 630 245.

Be quick as tables are booking very quickly indeed!

MR ‘wants CLUTTER your goods’ *House and Garage clearances *Shops and Bars - old stock * Now buying; Antiques, Gold & Jewellery Call David on: 686 375 089 or email a list to: cullimores@hotmail.com Cash available and efficient service

“SO DON’T BE A NUTTER,

SELL IT TO MR CLUTTER ”

MIXERS

TONY’S POKERS TOOL HIRE

All types of tools Chainsaw Sharpening Service

Alcaucin Based

Mini Digger For Hire For more details call:

693 505 272 693 286 625

WACKER PLATES

ACADEMIA GALA SpaniSh CourSeS intenSive & ConverSational all levelS available Including for children starting school C/ Maestro Duran Lopez 6 Torre del Mar

tel: 952 54 40 39

PET TAXI UK * FRANCE * SPAIN TRAvELLiNG iN AiR CONDiTiONED vEHiCLE DELivERED DOOR TO DOOR PETS STAy iN PET FRiENDLy HOTELS ACCOMPANiED TRAvEL AvAiLABLE TEL:

(0044) 7533 285918 (0034) 667 235 205 email: pettaxitransport@hotmail.com

T H E D O G H O U S E While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. *Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks *Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals

‘oNly

THE BEST For yoUr PAl’

Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: philipclayton_1@msn.com Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog airlines.uk Recommended

Refs Available

COLONiC irrigatiON A HEALTHY MOVE

Cleaning of the Colon A detox Enjoy: clearer skin, increased energy, weight loss, mental clarity and more...

Call Eileen: 951 167 238 or 609 811 879 (near Hotel Vinuela)

Carousel

Secondhand Furniture Shop

Open Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm Book exchange available on ground floor

“House Clearances” Call Gilly on: 630 211 907 La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

MAN & VAN! Anytime...Anywhere

Locally based 12 cubic metres €25 per hour Small Loads to U.K Phone Mark: 669 255 968

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? n O s ’ t Wh a

sponsored by:

riGHTS ArKW The British Store & More OPEN ALL “OURS” Puente don Manuel Call: 952 519 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

Royal British Legion Torre del Mar August Events: The RBL Torre Del Mar will meet as usual on a Wednesday at the La Vega Restaurant in Torre Del Mar 12 noon - 2pm. We have no special events in August but start with a full programme on 1st September trip to Gibraltar, 9th - Supper Dance at Puerta Niza Benajarafe, 22nd - Granada - Science Park, or shopping and a visit to the Alhambra, 26th Quiz Night & Supper at Trapiche Restaurant. Members and non members welcome at all our events. Ring Merryll on 663 658 354 for further details. rbl-tdm@hotmail.com www.rbl-torredelmar.org.uk RBL - Los Romanes Branch We are still a branch of the Royal British Legion. We meet every Tuesday from 12.00 noon until 2.00 pm. at The Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. On the first Tuesday of every month we have menu del dia at the restaurant. Please feel free to come and join us any time, you do not have to be a member. For social contact Lorraine on 952510203. For other contact Margaret on 951 167 600. Visit our web site on www.rbllosromanes.org.uk APARIV Animal Protection Society quiz nights with Prizes, Raffles and Food Available at Los Morenos Restaurant in Rincon de la Victoria 8pm. Tel: Stephen 952 514 671. 17th August at Sands & C in Torrox Costa at 7:30pm.

Call 952 967 734. 26th August at Bar Viva in Torre del Mar 8pm. Tel: Stephen 952 514 671 Qi Gong and Tai Chi sessions continue to be held in the area. These gentle exercises work on the whole body and improve balance, health and general wellbeing. Call Paul on 653 333 733 for details. Wed, 11am – Bar 02, Colme-

nar, Thurs, 3pm - El Duende, Los Ventorros, near Comares and Fri, 11am – Bar Trapiche, Trapiche, and another class in Rio Gordo at The Lemon Tree. Call Bradley on 653 333 733 Golfnutz meet every Wednesday at Santa Clara (Otura, Granada) for golf banter, all abilities welcome. Sense of humour essential. So if you need a change in 2011 then give us a call. Call 617 979 640 or caddy master on 858 702 800.

Lux Mundi Music Appreciation Group meets each Tues from 3.00pm - 5.00pm at the Lux Mundi Centre, Torre del Mar. Sessions are focused upon a composer or a period of classical music. We listen and enjoy a selection of the works. Call: Keith Hicks, 952 54 33 34. Lux Mundi Avda. Moscatel,1-"I" (Antigua Casa de la Viña) 29740-Torre del Mar U3A El Morche. The El Morche University of the Third Age has a variety of learning groups each with a leader. Groups meet regularly to learn in a friendly and enjoyable way. Covering an area from Rincon to Nerja and inland to Viñuela and beyond. We take part in debating, singing, photography, quizzes, walking, computing and much more. Contact us now at www.u3aelmorche.wordpress.com RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment and monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, and we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 www.britishlegion.org.uk/branches/benajarafe BISC - Benajarafe International Social Club We meet every Mon 2.30pm at La Esperanza Cafe/Restaurante, Benajarafe on the coast road at KM 261, we enjoy social, trips,etc for all nationalities. August 12th horse racing at Mijas (coach and entrance 10€) for members, Call Heather for details 63497565.

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109

What’s O n?

Yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes have a great new venue in Torrox Costa. Every Tuesday 8.30pm. Modern Jive is easy, fun and a great way of meeting new people. |You dont need a partner come by yourself or bring a friend. Beginners always welcome. Join us Tuesday nights at El Ancla de Cirilo, Calle de Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa on the N-340 between Nerja and Torrox Costa. info@yojive.com Trapiche Social Club meet every Wednesday from 12 noon - 2pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, Social Activities include card games, skittles, dominoes and occasionally free bingo. Everyone is welcome to join us members and visitors. August events 3rd Social Meeting, 10th Social meeting, 15th Almunecar Fireworks.

Evening Coach trip, EARLY booking advised as only a few seats are left the trip is open also to non-members and visitors, 17th Social Meeting, 24th Social Meeting, 31st Social Meeting followed by our Monthly Lunch. Social Activities booking line – 680 764 130. Further information from the Publicity Office run by Gordon Reith, by phone 951 239 36 by email gerrygledhill@yahoo.co.uk or from any Officer or Committee Member.

Joyce, John, Sue & Mike of the 'Come Dancing' team look forward to seeing all their members at the first Cudeca Dance of the new season on 10th Sept at El Trapiche 7.00pm for 7.30pm cost 10€, fish, chicken or vegetarian supper included. For meal choice email: jjmunns@gmail.com or phone new mobile 699 156 471 Thanks to a special donation from Coraxalia for providing social dance music at their summer ball at Hotel Vinuela, we start the new season with 5,000€ already donated to Cudeca from only 22 dances.

Lake Vinuela Social Club We meet every Thurs from midday until approx 2.30 at the Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet new like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations, also a monthly lunch at various restaurants in the area. Our aim is to enjoy ourselves and to raise monies for various local and international charities and organisations.

August Events: 4th Social meeting, 5th treas-

ure hunt and lunch, 11th Social meeting, 12th shopping trip to Gibraltar, 18th officers b-b-q for all members, 25th Social meeting. Call for details: 636 203 135 Colmenar District Social Club meet on Wednesdays at the Arco de Sol in Colmenar from 12.30, all are welcome. We have quizzes quest speakers and regular trips and events.

Contact Marjorie on 951 163 071 ABC Dance Group 5th Year. Learn to ballroom dance with 'Dancing Dave' (former waltz competition winner). Dancing is good exercise as well as good social fun! All welcome on Mondays 5pm to 7pm at Trapiche Restaurant, new season starts 5th September. For more info ring David on 952531259 or 617863193 (Mobile)

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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order!

Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-torre see Nerja-Malaga times torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00.

Church services in English services at inglesia de san Miquel (St, Michael's Church) every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May) and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol). There is a short service of Holy Communion Wednesday's at 9.30am in the Church Shop, Calle Malaga, Nerja. Details of how to find the churches are also available in the Church Shop. Priest in Charge: Father Geoff Johnston Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460.

Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 torre del Mar - Torre Del Mar - Sanysol Residencia, Sundays 10.30am. Tel 952 219 396 anglican communion.

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 torre del Mar - Services in English - St. Barnabas IERE (Anglican). Holy Communion 11am.

2nd and 4th Sundays. Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. 6pm. All at Lux Mundi Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 - "I", two minutes walk from the bus station. Tel: 952-030-461 (Priest) or 952 510 056 (Churchwarden). roman Catholic - torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer) Evangelical - torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome.

Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: www.torredelmarchurch.org torrox Park Community Church meet at 11am on Thursday for coffee and discussion on current topics. This is an informal meeting for everyone to join in. At Tapricho Tapas bar (opposite El Pino camping), Torrox park. more info: Minister J. hartsmith foy, Tel: 952 532 825 or www.torroxparkchurch.org.

Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship - fortnightly 7pm. Midweek activities - Pilates - Tues midday-1pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Art group Thurs 3-5pm, Charity shop/books Fri 10-2pm, Camera club 1st Fri of month 2.30-5pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel.

Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. taxis torre: 952 540 016, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 torre del Mar: 952 541 104 weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 952 352 300 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Carlota Alesandria, 33 Edif. San Andres - 1º-7 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For gen-

Informa

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tion

eral enquiries dial 1004 airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 town halls torre and Velez: 952 500 100 torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 itV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm

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) : a h a h s e k o J An old pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a real pilot.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women.

When I shower, I think about naked women.

When I watch TV, I think about naked women.

It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.’

------------------------------------------------------------A crusty old man walks into a bank & says, "I wanna open a f***ing saving account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated here."

She goes to the bank manager to complain.

Manager agrees such foul language can't be accepted. They both return to the window & ask the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

The old man says "There is no f***ing problem, I just won $200 million on the f***ing lottery & I want to put my f***ing money in this f***ing bank."

The Manager replies "I see, And is this bitch giving u a f***ing hard time sir?"

------------------------------------------------------------An attractive blonde from Dublin, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don't mind,

but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.”

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”

The other answered, “I don't know - I thought you were watching.”

------------------------------------------------------------The train was quite crowded, and a U.S. marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular ‘Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired...'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window'.

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113

Jokes h a h a :) A bloke in a Birmingham supermarket tries to buy half a cauliflower. The very young greens produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers. The bloke persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the stock room, the boy said to his manager 'Some t***** out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the bloke standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the bloke went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'

'Cardiff, sir,' the boy replied.

'Well, why did you leave Cardiff ?' the manager asked.

The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players there.'

'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Cardiff .'

'You're kidding?' replied the boy. What position did she play?'

------------------------------------------------------------A Mexican, an Arab and a Lancashire Lass are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The Lancashire Lass, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws

the glass into the air, whips out her 45 and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.

Catching her glass, setting it on the bar and calling for a refill, she says, 'In Lancashire,we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

------------------------------------------------------------A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? " HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence -HUSBAND: "s***."

------------------------------------------------------------How does every ethnic joke start?

With a look over your shoulder.

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

2. What is the Russian alphabet called?

1. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

3. In which book is the Apocrypha?

2. What goes up and down the stairs without moving?

4. Where is the House of keys?

3. What can you catch but not throw?

5. What is convectional rainfall?

4. I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I?

6. Where in the world is the veldt?

5. I have a bed but do not sleep on it I have a mouth but do not eat with it. What am I?

7. Where was El Greco born?

6. I give you a group of three. One is sitting down and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him yet is always hungry.

The third goes away and never returns. What are they?

1. What is Gary Linekar’s middle name?

8. Where is Arthur’s Seat?

9. What is Calcium carbonate aka?

10. What is a double sheet bend?

11. What is the O.E.D.?

12. What is a pongo?

7. A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word.

He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?

Answers on page 117

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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115

Puzzle P ages

Crossword Two sets of clues but the same answer

across

Cryptic Clues

1 Talk about leader of order, in charge, and confused (7) 8 Put in a fresh demand for instrument minus case, initially (7) 9 Pour gravel on a holiday region (7) 10 Odds perhaps, or not! (5) 11 Cut on the side of more ancient fuel receptacle (9) 14 A United Nations connection with the BBC, perhaps (6) 15 American heads of unions require power to take over (5) 16 Start again with a precis (6) 20 Ban for writer (9) 23 Lived in crude, backward time (5) 24 I'm leading couples to get damages (7) 25 Teach negotiation to a union leader in French castle (7) 26 Emirate could be more substantial (7)

Down 1 Transform money (6) 2 Imposing Georgian town? Not entirely (6) 3 Roots circling trunk (5) 4 Beliefs of a Native American daughter (5) 5 Conceal extra in container [5,2] (7) 6 Five in dodgy trade making a commercial (6) 7 Desert island inhabitant off course? (6) 12 Beam starts to lower and swings everywhere, randomly (5) 13 Acquires vases, it's said (5) 15 Many plump teenagers bury it (7) 16 Cut snooker ball with bent cue (6) 17 Playground item to observe now and then [3-3] (6) 18 Cyclin', one needs swimsuit! (6) 19 Problem having to hurry round the south-east (6) 21 Hatred of metal, not sulphur (5) 22 Put your hands round father for a drink (5

across

quick Clues

1 Confused (7) 8 Arrange differently (7) 9 Portuguese holiday region (7) 10 Level odds (5) 11 Giant fuel store (9) 14 Parent's sister (6) 15 Overthrow (5) 16 Start again (6)

20 Forbid by law (9) 23 Lived (5) 24 Damages (7) 25 French castle (7) 26 More substantial (7)

Down 1 Transform (6) 2 Eighth month (6) 3 Trunk of the body (5) 4 Set of beliefs (5) 5 Conceal [5,2] (7) 6 Commercial (6) 7 Fictional castaway Robinson (6) 12 Amplified light beam (5) 13 Acquires (5) 15 Many (7) 16 Make smaller (6) 17 Playground item [3-3] (6) 18 Two-piece swimsuit (6) 19 Problem (6) 21 Hatefulness (5) 22 Drink of tea (5)

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s n g i S r Sta Mystic Mag unscrews the lid of her knowledge jar and shares her wisdom with the rest of us…

Capricorn – Avoid looking through windows of the domed variety or this could cause severe head injuries. Stick to square or rectangle shaped.

Lucky sign – Blinds Aquarius – When compared to an animal some say you are rather like a mole, which as we all know find it difficult to see ahead. Your mole like attributes may be more pronounced at this time.

Lucky sign – Digging Pisces – Investments you decide to make this month will be money well spent and you may find you receive an unbelievable return on your dosh.

Lucky sign – Property Aries – Romantically not much has been going down for you Arians of late, but the tide looks set to change and you could soon be surrounded by tender love and candles.

Lucky sign – Kisses Taurus – Sometimes it would do you good to get down off your high horse. Other times it would do you better to get back up there.

Lucky sign – A camel Gemini – Your health and fitness are at all an time high so make sure the trend continues and keep on doing what you’re currently doing – it obviously works!

Lucky sign – Flying monkeys Cancer – Debt is something we all try to avoid but you seem to receive more than your fair share. Try spending less.

Lucky sign – Dancing salsa style Leo – Rather than the cat who got the cream, right now you’re acting more like the dog that got the dregs. What would you really prefer?

Lucky sign – Beans (not Heinz) Virgo – Not many parts of life are golden, but friendship is, so make sure you keep in contact with yours or else in a few years time you could be Billy No Mates.

Lucky sign – Marbles Libra – Fancy dress has never interested you but hop along to that house party you have been invited to and you could meet your prince or princess.

Lucky sign – A fistful of dollars Scorpio – Out of the current projects you have on the go, no less than all of them are geared for success at some point in the future. Some are closer to succeeding than you know!

Lucky sign – Celebrations Sagittarius – The grim reaper is back and it’s not attractive. Where has Mr/Mrs Party happy go lucky dude/dudess gone? Get him/her back!

Lucky sign – Loud music If it’s your Birthday this month avoid coming into contact with too many trees. Stick to people if I were you ;-)

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com The top ten fastest land animals in the world...

1. Cheetah (71mph) 2. Pronghorn Antelope (57mph) 3. Blue Wildebeest (50mph)

10,9

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Top Tens ,8, 7,6, 5

,4,3 ,2, 1 The top ten fastest sea animals , in the world...

4. Lion (50mph)

1. Sailfish (68mph)

5. Springbok (50mph)

2. Marlin (50mph)

6. Brown Hare (48mph)

3. Bluefin Tuna (46mph)

7. Red Fox (48mph)

4. Yellowfin Tuna (44mph)

8. Grant's Gazelle (47mph)

5. Blue Shark (43mph)

9. Thomson's Gazelle (47mph)

6. Wahoo (41mph)

10. Horse (45mph)

7. Bonefish (40mph) 8. Swordfish (40mph) 9. Tarpin (35mph) 10. Tiger Shark (33mph)

get quizical answers 1. Winston, 2. The Cyrillic Script, 3. The Bible, 4. Isle of Man, 5. Rain during thunderstorms, 6. South Africa, 7. Crete, 8. Edinburgh, 9. Chalk, 10. A knot, 11. Oxford English Dictionary, 12. A type of ape. riddle Diddle answers 1. Corn on the Cob, 2. A carpet, 3. A cold, 4. A nose, 5. A river, 6. A stove, fire and smoke, 7. The parrot was deaf Last Month’s Crossword answers: across: 1. Silver medal, 9. Ate, 10. Elizabeth, 11. Absentee, 12. Cart, 14. Thirst, 16. Unreal, 18. Orfe, 19. Meteoric, 22. Hard lines, 23. Arc, 24. Consolidate, Down: 2. Items, 3. Viennese, 4. Raider, 5. Eras, 6. Average, 7. Catastrophe, 8. Shuttlecock, 13. Incensed, 15. Inferno, 17. Kennel, 20. Roast, 21. Ales

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r e d a r The T E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a boxed 8 nth.

15€ for 7th of the mocall: 664 210 46 r o s d r 1 o r e w o th 8 th before e mon um of 2 maxim nt to be made efore 17th of th a r fo 3€ Payme tinella.com b n s@these mail sale

Cars or Sale / Wanted hOBBy CaraVaN, 4 meter tourer, 2/3 berth, central heating, complete paperwork for matriculation. Superb condition. €2000. Tel: 660 708 441 Fiat DUCatO motorhome, 1.9 turbo diesel, 1990, LHD, 3/4 beds, cooker, fridge, heater, mosquito blinds. Very good cond throughout. All correct paperwork for matriculation. €3350 Tel: 660 708 441 hONDa Xr 650 trials bike, 2001, spanish plates, ITV. Exc condition. €2000 Tel: 660 708 441 aUDi CaBriOLEt 2.6E V6, 1999, UK plates, RHD, Exc cond. €2000 no offers. Tel: 660 123 349 waNtED CLassiC MOtOrCyCLEs. Pre 1985, any condition, any plate, working or not.

Cash paid. Tel. 615 855 479 JEEP ChErOkEE - ‘P’ UK plated right hand drive, petrol automatic. 4x4, tow bar. Rear qtr light glass missing, otherwise good condition. €800 NOW 600€ o.n.o. Call Chris 660520480 MErCEDEZ VitO 112 CDI, 2003, diesel, LHD, Spanish registered, A/C, new ITV, 3 seat cab, panel van, no rear windows, 132k, good condition. 4,500€ o.n.o. Tel: 636 084 693 kyMCO sCOOtEr 250cc, 2003, 8,000km, grey colour, complete with top box, excellent condition. 1,500€ Call: 651 760 845 LaND rOVEr DisCOVEry sEriEs 2 tD5 2001, LHD Spanish Reg, 118K, ITV, 7 Leather Seats, Climate Control, CD Changer, Cruise Control, 4 New Tyres & Brake Pads

€5,950

Tel: 618 273 505 ssaNgyONg rODiUs 4X4 7 Leather seats, side steps, pull bar, Digital TV with video & console connections, ITV til Nov ‘12, sun roof, new tyres, all leather spec.

€18,000

Tel: 619 578 779

Properties For Sale/Rent

FOr rENt iN riOgOrDO Charming townhouse, 3 bed, fully furnished, kitchen/diner, lounge with log burner, Sat TV, telephone, terrace, parking, 2 mins to centre. €350 pcm Tell 606 734 012 tOwNhOUsE FOr saLE Charming townhouse in Riogordo. 3 bed, lounge with log burner, fitted kitchen/diner, terrace, parking. Reduced to €119,000. Tel 606 734 012 FLat, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. €159.000, tlf: 606 764 539.

Ready to move in. iNVEstMENt OPPOrtUNity, one bedroom, first floor flat above shops in Sidcup, Kent.

Lounge, Kitchen, Bathroom/wc, own parking space. 30mins train to London Bridge. Price £109,950, Possible income £6,600 year after agents fees. Call: 675 391 967 NErJa 3 BED tOwNhOUsE for sale. Renovated, large roof terrace, community swimming pool, peaceful area, parking. 230,000€ Call: 635 119 078 2 BED aPartMENt in La Herradura. Fantastic views of the bay and the mountains. 5 minute drive to the motorway. Golf courses close by. 50 mins to Malaga. 165,000€. Contact: Denis 652 668 927.

For rent 4 bedroom villa with pool in Competa. holiday lets from €300 p/week or long let at €550 p/month 2 bedroom apartment in duquesa holiday lets from €150 p/week or long let at €390 p/month Contact Debi: Email: clpsales@msn.com TEL: UK 0044 (0) 1579 340624

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119

3€ for a maximu m of 28 Pay wo Email: s ales@th ment to be ma rds or 15€ for esentine d e lla.com e before the 17nquire about b before 1 o 5th of thth of the month xed adverts e month . or call: 6 64 210 4 68

Properti es

Properties For Sale/Rent 2 BED Park hOME, on own plot 120m2, (no annual fees) 33.000€ Camping Aire Libre, nr Baviera Golf, between Velez Malaga & Algarrobo. The unit is 8,4 x 4 mtrs UPVC dg windows with blinds, Please call 952550445/615079338

aPartMENt FOr saLE - El Morche! This 1 bed 1 bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home. Price: €115,000 - for more info. or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284. aVaiLaBLE FOr hOLiDay rENt for caravans or mobile homes. Property walking distance to beach. Large property, fantastic position, large trees, privacy, water and electricity supplied if needed. Can do private rental or share rental for reduced price. Phone 625 231 990

FOR SALE - 3 bed detached

house with own pool in Triana near Velez Malaga and lovely views.

New kitchen and appliances.

Sold fully furnished.

Reduced to 150,000€

Contact Lisa on 00447884448671 or email cranfieldlisa@hotmail.com

Business For Sale BUsiNEss FOr saLE - Gardening and pool maintenance, Est. 6 years. Includes van, tools, machines and full client list. Basic Spanish essential. For more details call: 680 496 673

ApArtment For SAle el morche This one bed, one bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home.

Price: €115,000 For more info or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284 or email info@thesentinella.com

Items For Sale wiNDsUrFErs - 3 NO. Dufour Trixi, Speedy & Sailboard, good starter boards. Various sails, masts, many booms, fittings. €250 the lot or €100 each. Call Chris 660520480.

BODy sCULPtUrE striDEr - 5 programmer - not used yet or programmed in. 230€.

MEDisaNa 3 PrOgraM Back Massager top of the range - still boxed not used. 125€.

LargE LEathEr COrNEr suite in Brown 380€. Tel: 634 125 175 - Torrox Costa area. rUNNiNg MaChiNE full size, good condition, fully programable. 130€.Tel: 625 572 183

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r e d a r The T

photo. ert inc. v d a d e 468 r box nth. r 15€ fo17th of the moor call: 664 210 o s d r o of 28 w fore the e month aximum be made be fore 17th of th m a r 3€ fo Payment to ella.com be ntin s@these le a s il a Em

Items For Sale (Conitnued) 7’ wiDE aNtiqUE PiNE double wardrobe, two draws under robe space and dressing table matching above item. Both 750€. Would sell separatley. aNtiqUE PiNE DrEssEr, base, 3 cupboards with draws, top, two glass fronted cupboards with lights. 400€ whitE PVC 2Ft By 4Ft breeding box for cats or dogs, (has been used for guinea pigs & rabbits) Totally secures small animals, flat packs, fully washable.

40€ Call: 952 550 041 / 652 236 462.

ChihUahUa PUPPiEs born 14th March, beautiful & cute. 350€ each. Call: 638 191 391 hOUsEhOLD itEMs Welsh dresser 225€, sEt OF thrEE side table, green & gold leather underglass 60€ twO LEathEr sOFa’s, 1 two seater, 1 three seater 900€ LaMP taBLE with draw 60€. Call:686 321 392 rOOFBOX 140Litre black, dual lock, universal fitting, brackets, used once. 90€ Tel: 696 116 552

GOT SOMETHING TO SELL? 3€ for a maximum of 28 words or 15€ for boxed advert inc. photo.

Payment to be made before the 17th of the month.

Email sales@thesentinella.com before 15th of the month or call: 664 210 468

Wanted i wiLL COLLECt FrEE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui waNtED ENgLish sPEakiNg hOst FaMiLiEs wanted for Spanish students who want to improve their English. Any time in July and August, one week minimum stay. easy way to earn some extra cash! Please email us if interested torremontessori@gmail.com gOOD, rELiaBLE cleaner has a couple of regular weekly slots left, covering the Vinuela area. References available. Please call Jo on 693269766. waNtED sECOND haND timber doors and windows. Phone 625 231 990 hOME waNtED FOr 2 Beautiful semi-Ragdoll Kittens (1 B/W boy, 1 Tortie female) available to a good and permanent home. 25€ to cover the cost of vaccination. Photos available on request. Contact 618 989 125 waNtED Potter required with own kiln etc. to discuss new business proposition. Please call David on 660 123 349.

CarEr rEqUirED for lady with MS. Must be over 5,5”, fit and energetic with full driving licence. Please call Sarah 952 967 114 Torrox Costa. wanted apartment - Long term, sea Views, 3 bed, 2 bath, terraces, communal pool, luxury spec, fully fitted kitchen. small block - penthouse preferred. refs available

Call: 619 965 025

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Busines s

121

We can Call tod list your Busin ay on 66 es 4 210 4 s here from ju 68 or E st mail: sa 5 euros a mo les@the sentinell nth!! a.com

Director y

ACCOMMODATION

BOAT TRIPS

wEscuela La Crujia rural B&B/guesthouse in a pretty converted schoolbuilding. 5 minutes from Velez-Malaga. Tel. 606 010 580. Email: escuelalacrujia@gmail.com

wsharkyswatersports.com - Snorkelling, boat trips, dolphin watching, water skiing & wake boarding. call for details 616 034 846

AIR CONDITIONING w For air Conditioning call Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w For reliable and honest servicing, Repairs, Re-Gas and Installations of A/C & Pool Heating at competitive rates by a qualified Technician. Call “Polarair “ Tel: Susie or Peter on 655211192 / 658418093 w air conditioning, Repairs, Servicing, Installation. Tel: 651 198 409 Email: coolenergy007@yahoo.co.uk

BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

BUILDERS

BLINDS

wall types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wreformers terence Mitchell - Renovations & Refurbishments. Professional builders with over 20 years experience. Tiling, painting, plumbing, electricity. Free advice, no obligations. Tel: 664 459 868. terryseatonreformas@hotmail.com www.facebook.com/terryseatonreformas

wsolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. solarblinds.es@gmail.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

Advertise here from 5€ a month Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

BARBERS waxarquia Mobile Barber, 25 years experience, covering all areas of Axarquia. I'll come an find you, only 7€. Call Nigel on 686 626 207 or email: nigelpendry@hotmail.com

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Business Listing BUILDERS (Continued) wPJM Construction. Professional builder experienced in all types of construction from routine maintenance to new builds. Happy to supply references from many satisfied customers. Call now for a no obligation quote 625 348 406 info@pjmilton.com wJr Construction Extensions, Reforms, Tiling (Int & Ext), Terraces, Walls, Garages and Painting. Reliable, Quality Workmanship. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. C/Virgen de la Milagrosa Nº 3, Los Romanes, 29713, Malaga. wr&D Construction and Maintenance services, with over 30 years experience, English plastering, reforms, plumbing, electrics, walls, tiling and painting, all aspects of building work please call Robert 619 232 025 or David 622 379 413 email, rd.construction@yahoo.com

CAR PARTS wMalaga Car Parts,for the best value car parts in Southern Spain, Torrox Costa 952 530 531

wregistered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715 wregistered Chiropodist/Nurse of 20 years.

New in Velez Malaga. Offers the following services:- Foot and hand care (diabetic, veruccas, fungus nails, ingrown toenails). Also home visits. Post hospital aftercare including physio.

Call Teresa: 695 243 238

CHIROPRACTIC CARE wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday and Friday from 10.00 to 14.00 and by appointment. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email: druphil@yahoo.fr

CLEANING

wCar hire, Lowest rates in Southern Spain. UK Company. www.spanish-cars.com

wDone & Dusted, for all your cleaning requirements, for your home, holiday rentals, pool cleans and general maintenance. Competitive rates. Call Juliet 692 437 039 or Stuart 695 925 888 Email: done.dusted@ymail.com wFiona’s Cleaning services. Spring Cleans, Regular House Cleans, Holiday Rental Cleans, And End Of Lease Cleans. We Love The Jobs You Hate! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED! Phone: 687 285 275 Email: fionascleaning@hotmail.com

CARS WANTED

COMPUTERS

wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

wPCtorrox.com.All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas.

Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50 Euros. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259. wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs.

New PCs supplied with Windows in English.

WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976. wComputer Problems? Help is at hand. Upgrades, repairs, hardware and software problems solved, NO FIX - NO FEE. Advice on buying and setting up the right computer for you. Tuition from complete beginners to advanced, get the most out of your PC. Call David Fleck on: 952 510 729 / 620 328 382 email: david@technophobe.es www.technophobe.es

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way van hire, UK, France and Spain.

Call: 952 541 147

CAR HIRE

CARERS wNerja Nurses, Professional Nurses. Reliable - Affordable - Local Quality Care. NHS Qualified & Trained - 25 years experience in ALL types of care. Tel: 628 793 413 or 952 030 713 email: nerjacarers@gmail.com

CARPENTERS wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: rodgersfamilyinspain@yahoo.co.uk

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wCarpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Roy on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669.

CHIROPODISTS

Advertise here from 5€ a month Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel.

951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. www.ianpettdentalcare.com wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices.

Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com

DOG BOARDING wthe Dog shop, Professional grooming salon.

All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park. www.thedogshoptorrox.com

DRAIN CLEARANCE wFor Blocked drains - call Blockbusters. Depositors supplied & fitted. Also Plumbing service. Call Sid on 658 347 463 for prompt attention

DRESSMAKER wDressmaker/seamstress, with over 20 years experience. High quality, reliable service for alterations, soft furnishings and dressmaking.

Call Elaine on 629 610 919. Located Puente Don Manuel/Periana area. Very reasonable rates. No job too small.

ELECTRICIANS wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting and Power/Electric gates and Intercoms/Pool and water Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades. Over 40 years exp. Tel Stefan 610 048 919 electrocutester@gmail.com wElectrician - Lakeside Property services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber. Call David on: 627 931 357

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE wab ax Properties 650 193 777 Website: www.abaxproperties.com wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf

Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, www.fleming-properties.com waxarquia Properties s.LCall; 626 038 851 or 952 436 781www.axarquiaproperties.com Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

FASHION wukfashioninspain.com Wholesalers, manu facturers & designers of premier British fashion labels. Tel: 966 191 560 / Mob: 676 059 997 email: info@ukfashioninspain.com

FREIGHT & ONLINE SHOPPING DELIVERIES wFormula Freight, Call us for all your UK to Spain delivery requirements right to your door, to the Costa Tropical. Call: 01296 770029 Email; ian@formula-europe.co.uk www.formula freighteurope.co.uk

FURNITURE wLargest range of furniture on the Costas.

Guaranteed lowest prices. Quality furniture from the UK. WWW.nerjasofas.es wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) Mon-Fri 10.00-13.30 and 17.30-19.30. Saturdays 10.00-13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564

GARDENING SERVICES wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths.

Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373 wPool and garden maintenance. Good rates Call Keith 952 554 514 / 674 526 968

GREETINGS CARDS wtarjetas. Rosemary George. For all occasions, English & Spanish. Organic, Handmade & much more Supplying to shops, bars, clubs & individuals. Telephone: 617 979 640 Email: algomas4u@googlemail.com

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Business Listing GOLF SERVICES wgolf services - Lessons, Repairs, Club Hire and we also buy and sell. Call: Chris - 637 441 743 or Ray - 662 260 449

GYMS wColmenar gym - offering pilates, circuit training , keeping fit to music and personal training. For more info call Carol: 659 295 346 Email: bodynsoul@hotmail.co.uk

HAIRDRESSING wsusanna's Mobile hairdressing services.

National Beauty Institute (UK) trained. Please telephone 693 384 270 or 0044 844 3089078

HEALTH & BEAUTY wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 beasav@terra.es (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English.

Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info. candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es

HOLIDAY LETS wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. Call: 627 820 669 www.villaslet.com 958 36 40 16

HORSE RIDING walcaucín horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Wed 10am - midday during July & August.

Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website: www.horseshoeranchspain.webs.com

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907

INTERNET SERVICES wriosat:sL, No Landline required. High speed internet and telephone services for home, business, offices, hotels, bars and restaurants etc.

Some areas free installation. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: info@riosat.com

Web: http// www.riosat.com wBroadband 4spain.com - 951 239 888 Avenida Torrox 1, Competa (near Eloys bar). wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs.

Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or www.wagtails.es

KENNELS AND CATTERY wthe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required.

'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa.

Email:philipclayton_1@msn.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. wDog care in our home with us, food, warmth, exercise and affection. Fully netted secure areas. Diet and meds. Ex UK dogs home worker also voluntary work. Call: 669 346 268, Casabermeja. On A45 midway between Antequera and Malaga. whome From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com. Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses.

LAWYERS wCarmen silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: carmensilviaabogados@gmail.com winternational Law solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, tel/fax: 952 527 831 or 615 338 075, Email: info.ils@hotmail.com

MACHINE HIRE wsaxon sL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72

ADVERTISE FROM JUST 5€ PER MONTH CALL: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing MAINTENANCE wMaintenance person experienced in plumbing, tiling, painting and general maintenance of buildings. Portfolio of previous work carried out available. Friendly, reliable and reasonable rates. No job to small. Los Romanes and surrounding area. Tel: 618 496 266 or email: vramsell@aol.com.

MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to cullimores@hotmail.com. Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, www.centromarysalud.com

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.s.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MOTHER & TODDLER GROUPS wMother & toddler group at Torre Montessori Nursery in Torre del Mar on Wednesdays from

ADVERTISE IN THE BEST BUSINESS DIRECTORY LISTING IN AXARQUIA FROM JUST 5 EUROS PER MONTH 12 MONTHS - 60 EUROS 6 MONTHS - 40 EUROS 3 MONTHS - 30 EUROS CALL: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

10:30 to 12:30 - 4€. TL: 633 637 774 Email: torremontessori@gmail.com Address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar

NURSERIES wguarderia/Nursery torre Montessori, an English nursery with Spanish as second language. High adult/child ratios. Open Monday to Friday. Full and Part Time places available. TL: 633 637 774 Email: torremontessori@gmail.com address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar

OPTICIANS wheiko stumbeck, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar, 952 967 923 and C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja, 952 528 395. C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565

OUTSIDE CATERERS wPig n Mix hog roast available for all occasions.Machine rental only or we cater for you.

For prices www.pig-n-mix.com / email: info@pig-n-mix.com or Tel 655137483

PAINTERS wraC Decorators & tilers. All aspects of Painting and Tiling undertaken, Interior & Exterior Tel: 638-489-711 racdecor@ymail.com

PET COURIERS wPet taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

SALES PERSON REQUIRED *English & Spanish Speaking *Experience Preferable *Commission Only *Hours to suit Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Business Listing PET TREATS w4 Paws Barkery. The very best handmade, wholesome and pure Gourmet Dog Treats.

Made locally from 100% human quality ingredients. No added preservatives or artificial colours. www.4pawsbarkery.eu

PHYSIOTHERAPY wsanne h. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculo-skeletal conditions. 626 152 756

PLASTERERS wEnglish Plasterer - good rates. Call Nigel 620 256 092 wstockton Plastering and Damp services Time served plasterer 30 years experience in all aspects of plastering and damp proofing.

Insurance approved and fully legal. Call 648 243 656 for a no obligation quotation or visit www.stocktonplastering.sm4.biz

PLUMBERS wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425.

24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 wJohn Folland Plumbing & heating: All jobs from a dripping tap to fully fitted kitchens/bathrooms. No call out charge. Tel John: 622 050 803 or 622 180 606 wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy.

Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares. wsur integral Plumbing and Electrical services Domestic & Commercial plumbing & electrical Call: 666 715 215

PRINTING SERVICES wBusiness Cards double sided from 135€ for 500. Flyers double sided full colour from 150€ for 1,000. Call: 664 210 468

PROPERTY & POOL CARE wExperienced, professional and reliable all year service. Caring for your Property, Pool and People. References available on request.

Call Ron: 637 995 088, ppp247@hotmail.co.uk www.pppaxarquia.com

PROPERTY RENTALS wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

REMOVALS w2Js removals Ltd, House Clearances, UKSpain-UK, Local and International removals, Reliable service, free quotes, no job too small.

Fully insured. Call: June or John 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 Email: jmcc1957@yahoo.co.uk warnold removals Local & International.

Great service, fair price. Tel: 685 360 193 www.arnoldremovals.es Call. 626 160 869 info@arnoldremovals.es wUk-spain-Uk removals. Complete van loads or just 1 item. We are in the UK every 2 weeks. Pay for just 1 way. Nerja Sofas 608091660 or 951247240 nerjasofas@hotmail.com wC&D removals, Local and International, 2 men, 1 van, 20€ p/hr. Call: 622 222 361

RESTAURANTS wtaj Mahal (Torre del Mar ) Avda. Anadalucia, Blq. Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, C/Timon. Tel: 952 547 798 wtaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731 wtaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Vacional - 340 next to Post Office. 952 534 972 / 634 051 635 wrestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wLight of india Torrox’s original Indian restaurant Tel: 951 239 670 / 677 334 721 wLew’s Fish & Chips The best fish & chips on the coast Tel: 952 532 633

ADVERTISE HERE FROM JUST 5 EUROS PER MONTH JUST 60 EUROS FOR THE YEAR Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing SATELLITE T.V. wtotal satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com wsky shop torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wsat. Co. Freesat HD & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call TOM 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm

SIGN MAKERS wredhouse signmakers. Suppliers and designers of all types of signs - shops, pavement boards, estate agency for sale boards, vehicle advertising, banner stands and more. New telephone number: 675 091 982. Email redhousesigns@yahoo.co.uk Website: www.redhousesigns.com

SOLAR wsolar solutions, Sales & Servicing. We cover solar hot water, solar electricity (PV), Solar (PV) windmills, Solar pool heating and Pellet central heating systems. For more info visiti Trapiche market every Tuesday or call Andrew 660 597 894 - Spanish and English spoken. Email: andrewthecarpenter@gmail.com

SOLICITORS wC&D solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 www.cdsolicitors.net or email:info@cdsolicitors.net wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47 www.delpradoandpartners-es.com

SPAS & SAUNAS wtime Out spas & saunas. Serving The Costa del Sol for more than 10 Years. Hundreds of Spas Installed! We service all Brands of Spas so come to us - we are the Professionals. 952 52 43 94 www.timeoutspas.com

TYRES wCar, 4x4 and motorcycle tyres supplied and fitted. Punctures repaired, wheel balancing,

competitive prices. Also ITV (Mot) welding. For a no obligation quote call: 676 719 066 / 620 627 214 or 952 517 502.

Email: sainbena@hotmail.com Also iron work made to order.

VETS wNaturvets Competa, Avda. de la Constitucion 15, 952 553 850. Benajarafe, Ctra. Malaga Almeria Km 164, 952 513 207. Mobile: 617001 723 (for both) www.naturvets.com

WEB DESIGNERS wspanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: www.spanglishwebs.com Email: info@spanglishwebs.com wsokrak web Design, Quality web design at the lowest price! Get an eye catching, easy to navigate website in English, Spanish and more, to make your business available worldwide. All our prices are affordable and include hosting and your domain for the first year with no hidden fees. For more information, visit www.sokrakwebdesign.com or contact us on (+34) 666 731 759

WELLS wwater well: drilling for water supply and irrigation Plumbing and electrical installation, legalisation, water works construction/repairing.

Call us: 666 13 88 86, or e-mail: plumbingwell@gmail.com free consultation.

WINDOW TINTING w Mobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com

ADVERTISE HERE FROM JUST 5 EUROS PER MONTH Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

Have your Installation in August

Avda. Andalucia, 125-A, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 / 649 123 068 Avda. Andalucia, 64 (near ‘Las Yucas’), Torre del Mar Tel: 952 965 724 www.casa-terreno.net info@casa-terreno.net

torre del Mar - ref.: 2709

This small townhouse (110m2) is very centrally located, but quietly located just 600 metres from the beach. In Torre del Mar you will find everything you need for life, such as supermarkets, doctors, restaurants, nightlife and a beautiful Paseo Maritimo, where you can walk until Mezquitilla. The shopping centre "El Ingenio", the golf course and the port of Caleta are also only about 5 minutes away and the International airport of Málaga can be reached in 35 minutes. The two-storey house has 3 beds + 2 baths, it is sold completely furnished, and offers outdoor terrace (110m2 plot), a patio with storage room and a small balcony on the upper floor. The bathrooms have shower and tub. Another plus point is that this house does not have any community expenses.

Price : reduced by 26,000€ to 142,000€

SAFARI LOUNGE Hot Stone

ANGUS Argentina MRS. Rump steak 200 gr.

MR. Rump steak 300 gr.

The Queen 400 gr.

The King 500 gr.

Tenderloin MRS. Filet steak 180 gr.

MR. Filet steak 250 gr.

The Queen 330 gr.

The King 400 gr.

Pork Fillet MRS. Pork 180 gr.

MR. Pork 250 gr.

12.90 € 16.90 € 21.90 € 25.90 € 15.90 € 19.90 € 23.90 € 27.90 € 11.90 € 19.90 €

Sword fish with King Prawns 12.90 €

Paseo de Larios, 38 (on corner at beach end) Torre del Mar Tel: 952 541 343 / 606 852 412 www.safari-lounge.com

King Prawns 11.90 € All dishes are served with salad and fries.

1€ extra -Baked Potato Pepper, Roquefort or Red-Wine Sauce

FP0744 A spacious, south facing, two bedroom apartment with two sun terraces in the popular San Juan de Capistrano Urb. with its amazing communal pool and facilities

NERJA

135,000€ almachar

FP0670

A modern, three bedroom villa with aircon, 6m x 4m pool, easy access enjoying marvellous views to the sea and only 15 mins to the coast 199,000€

FP0385

ONLy 195,000€

A bright and airy, Nerja three bedroom, terraced property of some 160m2 with huge basement garage within easy walking distance of the marina.

Communal pool 250,000€ FP0774 168,000€ and gardens

Caleta de Velez

FP0806

El Borge

A 125m2, three bedroom country property with 9.5 x 4.5m pool set in the heart of the countryside on an extensive plot of 22,000m2 A spacious, fully reformed, two bedroom apartment in Capistrano Pueblo with courtyard terrace and barbecue kitchen convenient to communal pool

tOrrE OFFiCE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NErJa OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306