The Sentinella Axarquia March 2012 by The Sentinella Axarquia Magazine

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 91

www.axarquia.thesentinella.com

March 12

arkwrighTS The British Store & more

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Opticians

Internet & Telephone Tel: 951 232 800 / 652 216 043 See advert on page 17

Tel: 952 96 79 23 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 52 83 95 Nerja See page 49

The little mag that fits in your bag for â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;info on the goâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Rent a Home Spain Buy a Home Spain Torre del Mar

For Rent Ref: R2 - 190 New 2 Bed 2 Bath Apartment (70 m² built 10m² terrace) front line to beach, quiet location yet walking distance to town centre, with lounge/dining room, f/f kitchen, utility, 2 double beds, 2 baths (master en-suite), terrace with awnings and communal pool For Rent ONLY 500€ per month

Caleta

For Rent Ref: R2 - 193 Amazing 2 Bed 1.5 Bath Apartment (120m² living area) front-line to marina with extraordinary sea views, spacious lounge/diner, a state-of-the-art kitchen/diner, utility area, 2 large beds, superb bathroom, guest toilet, Sky & Spanish TV. Must be seen

La Viñuela

For Rent Ref: R3 - 202 Lovely 3 Bed 2 Bath Villa (120m² built 800m² plot), lounge with log fire, bar, f/f kitchen, dining room, utility, office, 3 double beds, master en-suite, family bathroom, various covered & sunny terraces, gated drive, mature gardens, a lovely 8m x 4m pool, southerly aspect & parking For Rent GREAT PRICE 550€ per month

Puente don Manuel

For Rent R5 - 019 Spacious 5 Bed 3 Bath Villa (185m² built 372m² plot), electric gates, an entrance hall, spacious lounge/diner with log fire, f/f modern kitchen, 5 double beds (master en-suite), 2 family baths, variety of covered & sunny terraces, 8m x 4m pool For Rent BARGAIN 600€ per month

For Rent EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY 650€ per month Puente don Manuel

For Sale

Ref: S3 - 193

Magnificent 3 Bed 4 Bath Villa (276m² built, 1,042m² plot), entrance hall, lounge/dining room, dining terrace, gallery, roof terrace, superb kitchen, breakfast terrace, 3 double beds en-suite, sitting room, 4th bathroom, huge games room with bar & lounge (can be converted), mature irrigated gardens, fabulous 10m x 5 m pool

Nerja

For Sale SUPERB PRICE 399,000€ Vélez-Málaga

For Sale Ref: S3 - 189 Spacious Ground Floor 3 Bed 2 Bath Apartment (85m² built, 65m² terraces), convenient location, lounge/diner, covered & sunny terraces, garden, large new f/f kitchen, utility/storage room, underground car park & storage room, 2 communal pools, pádel tennis, play area & gardens For Sale LOW PRICE 137,000€

Benajarafe

For Sale

Ref: S3 - 192 Lovely 3 Bed 2 Bath Townhouse (93m² built, 133m² plot) on private gated urbanization near centre of Nerja, entrance hall, lounge/diner with log fire, f/f kitchen, utility room, balcony and terraces to the front & back, parking, 2 pools and well kept gardens For Sale ONLY 195,000€ For Sale Ref: S4 - 084 Outstanding 4 Bed 4 Bath Villa (including separate apartment), (195m² built, 582m² plot), British built and fitted to very high specification, ideal location, fantastic sea & mountain views, unusually spacious throughout, variety of sunny & covered terraces, lovely mature gardens, large garage & an 8m x 4m pool For Sale AMAZING @ 397,000€

www.rentahomespain.com / www.buyahomespain.com email: info@rentahomespain.com Enquire about Enquire about Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, our next FREE our FREE Financial Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Advice Clinic Legal Clinic Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414 (You’ll find us located on the main road opposite the Torre del Mar bus station)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

m Fro Ed... the Riding in a hot air balloon has been on my ‘List of Things to do Before I Die’ for the last decade, so imagine my delight when I got a phone call asking if I’d like to go up in one! Graham, who spends his time between Caleta and the UK, is a ballooning fanatic. In his spare time he likes nothing more than taking to the skies in a hot air balloon, sometimes for up to four hours at a time.

Sales: kami - 664 210 468 Email:sales@thesentinella.com Distribution Tony - 664 689 138 The Sentinella axarquia Follow us on Twitter @ The_Sentinella or @keidi_keating

He and fellow ballooner, Gary, along with Gary’s son Jim, formed the competent crew for my recent ballooning experience. There was room for two onboard the basket so my sister Kami also came along.

Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

We all met at 6.30am on a Saturday morning, and then Gary drove everyone (and the balloon) to the region of Antequera to find a suitable patch of land from which we could take off.

Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005

It was great fun watching the balloon being inflated and fired up. Graham, Jim, Kami and I had to climb into the basket fairly quickly and then the balloon began its ascent, leaving the ground as we drifted up, up and away…

No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

Gary stayed on the ground with his car and trailer to follow us as best as he could on the road with the intention of picking us up when we landed. Initially I felt a little scared as solid ground was replaced by floaty nothingness. It all felt a little too open for my liking and my imagination conjured up disastrous scenarios of us toppling over the side of the basket and plunging to our deaths.

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

But after a while, now even higher in the beautiful blue skies, my nerves began to settle and I felt surprisingly peaceful and free. Graham even let me operate the fire levers, to keep the balloon aloft. At times we flew lower over rows of olive trees, avoiding power lines and keeping our eye out

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From The Ed (cont)

Strange News

for rabbits which fled as we approached due to the noisy burner.

Batty Baby A table tennis-playing baby has become a viral hit after video footage of him wielding a bat was posted on YouTube. The little boy, called Jamie, sits on the table as balls are served over the net to him – and he hits most of them right back. Jamie occasionally takes his eye off the ball, but he soon turns his attention back to ping pong and returns the ball with uncanny accuracy. Uploaded last month with the single line "Couldn't keep Jamie away from the table!" the video has been viewed more than 840,000 times.

After more than an hour in the air Graham began searching for a suitable place to land. The wind had whisked us in the opposite direction to which we’d planned to go, and we were now drifting above a railway line, wondering whether Gary would be able to find us.

All Change A sex addict who admitted to sleeping with more than 1,000 men has now revealed that she used to be a man. Crystal Warren, 42, appeared on UK TV recently to talk about her sex addiction and how she has no plans to change her habits. But just days after that appearance, she revealed that she was actually born Christopher Snowden. The perfect field appeared over a hill, accessible via a track, and Graham decided to touch down. With expert precision and skill he guided the balloon towards the ground. And as Kami and I panicked about a dodgy landing, Graham and Jim kept cool. Even though the basket did wobble and rock a little, we stopped upright and one by one we clambered out. Gary turned up just two minutes later, which we found very impressive, and then came the task of dismantling the balloon and packing it back up into its bag to go back on the trailer. We all helped with this as the balloon is surprisingly heavy. But imagine my shock when as I stuffed the balloon into the bag, Gary and Graham picked me up and dropped me in the bag too! Enroute back to Caleta we stopped off for breakfast at a hotel having worked up an enormous appetite after all that fun. If you’ve never been up in a hot air balloon before Kami and I recommend it. It’s a once-in-alifetime experience, unless you’re Graham or Gary and it becomes a hobby! Graham and Gary are looking for extra crew to help with their ballooning adventures. Must be able to drive a trailer. If you’re interested call Graham on 630 788 256 or email graham@holtams.co.uk or alternatively if you want to book a day out with them.

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)!

Ms Warren says she realised from a young age that she was a female trapped in a male body. She would secretly try on her mother's clothes before later going on dates in drag. Ten years ago, she began having hormone and laser treatment to remove body hair and develop a 38B bust, and underwent full gender reassignment surgery in 2005. Crystal says that afterwards, her sex drive exploded. But, she admitted, she has only told a few of her lovers that she was actually born male. Fan-tastic A Manchester City fan has finally achieved her ambition of being the club's matchday mascot - on her 88th birthday. According to the Sun newspaper, the Premier League leaders fixed it for Celia Hodkin after her daughter Cath wrote to them. Mrs Hodkin, who has been watching Man City since 1933, met the team before the game against Fulham. She also enjoyed a tour of the Etihad stadium, a signed football from City legend Mike Summerbee and a birthday cake after the final whistle. She said: "I first saw City when I was nine. It's not been easy supporting them all these years."

Sunday Roast inc.glass of wine â&#x201A;Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am 6 days a week (closed Mondays) Scandanavian Special every Tuesday Karaoke every Saturday night

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

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Mothering Sunday Don’t Forget it 18th March Mothering Sunday (the British version) is on 18th March. It was first celebrated in Britain during the 17th century •It was honoured on the fourth Sunday in Lent. •It began as a day when apprentices and servants could return home for the day to visit their mothers.

tom and commercial enterprises and used it as an occasion for sales, etc. People in many ancient cultures celebrated honouring holidays motherhood, personified as a goddess. here are just a few of those: •Ancient Greeks celebrated a holiday in honour of Rhea, the mother of the gods.

•They often brought a gift with them, often a "mothering cake" - a kind of fruitcake or fruitfilled pastry known as simnels. •Furmety, a sweetened boiled cereal dish, was often served at the family dinner during Mothering Sunday celebrations. •By the 19th century, the holiday had almost completely died out. •Mother's Day in Britain - or Mothering Sunday - came to be celebrated again after World War II, when American servicemen brought the cus-

•Ancient Romans celebrated a holiday in honour of Cybele, a mother goddess, March 22-25 - the celebrations were notorious enough that followers of Cybele were banished from Rome. •In the British Isles and Celtic Europe, the goddess Brigid, and later her successor St. Brigid, were honoured with a spring Mother's Day, connected with the first milk of the ewes.

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THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos Bar)

Marina is our head technician. She holds numerous diplomas for chemical straightening, advanced colouring, retail cutting & perming, all obtained in Mayfair, London at the Goldwell Academy. Danni is a Toni & Guy Style Director and has managed their salons in Dubai and Amsterdam. Both hold NVQ level 3 Advanced Hairdressing qualification Tony a traditional barber with 50 years experience, who is here every Monday between 10am & 2pm - No appointment necessary. Please telephone or pop in for a FREE CONSULTATION

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De Cotta Division of property and assets for unmarried partners. By Reyes Gomez LlorenteLawyer with De Cotta Law Just as with Spanish legislation, in English Law there is no law regulating the division of property after the breakup of a partnership. As a consequence of this legal vacuum, the only up to date „regulation‟ on the subject is the Jurisprudence (legal approach and rulings) of the Courts. This has been true in both Spanish and English Law, and there is little precedent on rules applying to the division of property and assets upon the break-up of domestic partners. In 2011, The Supreme Court of the United Kingdom made a decision which is very relevant to this subject. In modern life there are an increasing number of couples who choose cohabitation without marriage, and that in turn leads to more and more conflicts arising after the break-up, with many ending up in court. The title to property in England can be judged by the courts to belong in legal title to one person whilst another person whose name is not

on the registered title may have a beneficial interest. Often the amount of this beneficial interest has to be decided by the courts if the couple have not made any clear declaration or agreement between them. Prevention is better than cure on this point so you should decide this and take legal advice if necessary to avoid subsequent conflicts.. If the joint owners for example of a property have not indicated how the title should be divided, then the Court will decide based on what is “right” taking into account the behaviour of the parties. This means that in the absence of express agreement or covenant to the effect, the Court will address the intent "implied” between the couple. To this end, the Court will consider the contribution made by each partner to the cost and maintenance of the property (mortgage payment, repairs, works...). Given the existing legal vacuum on this subject, leaving the court to make decisions on ownership based on behaviour of the couple during their relationship can be highly confusing and complicated. So to avoid such problems, particularly the high costs involved in litigation, we recommend that when purchasing a property, both parties make a declaration of intent avoiding any future doubt by making clear the share that each person holds. It‟s true that typically couples, when deciding to move in together and buy a home together, don‟t always think about the potential of splitting up, but of course sadly life shows that relationships do break down and so it is always advisable to try to anticipate the problem, so that future conflicts at the difficult time of breakup can be avoided. As they same it is “better to be safe than sorry." If you wish more information on this particular topic or would like to discuss any matter raised therein, contact Sandra Wrightson or Reyes Gomez Llorente, De Cotta McKenna y Santafe, on 952 527 014. Offices in Mijas Costa, Coín, Nerja, and Tenerife. De Cotta McKenna y Santafé, Calle Diputación, 11, 29780 Nerja, Málaga, Spain Tel.: (+34) 952 52 70 14 Fax: (+34) 952 52 34 28 Email: sandrawrightson@decottalaw.net website: www.decottalaw.com

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Mothers Day Treats Treats for Your Mum This Mothers’ Day Invite your mum over for an old fashion Tea Party. Serve tea and special desserts. Choose a dessert or treat, that you know will make her mouth water. Set out photo albums of her from over the years - share memories laugh and enjoy your time together. Invite Mum to go with you for a walk. Go to your local park or walk in your neighbourhood. Enjoy the talk and the spring scenery. Even surprise her after the walk with a fresh bouquet of spring flowers, that you wrapped in tissue and a big silky ribbon. For long distance mums - Send a balloon bouquet to bring on a smile or a chuckle. Or, put together a bath & body basket - she will know you care. Choose products and scents, espe-

cially for her with relaxation and beauty, in mind - wrapped with love. For long-distance or local mum - Choose a favourite picture of your mum with you and your siblings, when you were young children. Have it blown up and buy a beautiful frame for it. Wrap a big silky ribbon around it. The memories will bring on a loving smile! Invite her to go shopping with you and treat her to lunch. What mum doesn't like to shop!? If she is a card player - invite her over for a family card game extravaganza! Make up her favourite party foods and beverages. Play her favourite music in the background during the card party.

At the following venues; Trapiche - Tuesdays, Hotel Saydo, Mollina - Wednesdays & Chiringuito Carlos, Puente don Manuel - Fridays

Providing: Thick Cut English Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Sliced Honey Roast Ham, Sliced Roast Beef & much, much more! A fantastic range of freshly made Deep Filled, Great Tasting Pies! A varied vegetarian section Our customers say: “Great value, fab flavoured pies” - Len, Glass Curtains “Sticky Ribs to die for” - Rudi’s Fashions “BBQ sauce wonderful” - Dot, Bric a Brac “Brilliant Steak & Onion Pies” - Steve, Superdrug “The fillings are deep and delicious” - Tony, The Sentinella Contact us on: 952 456 070 or 679 301 355 email: raimondochef@live.co.uk

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t sen e r rep rld. urs e wo o l o d th .C rld roun n? o a ea lw s rfu ation lue m u b ri olo a c nt va does n i e t r a live diffe o wh We any S m

s r u o Col

Blue is the coolest colour - the colour of the sky, ocean, sleep and twilight. We say we feel ‘blue’ when we mean we feel sad. This is because blue was related to rain, or storms, and in Greek mythology, the god Zeus would make rain when he was sad (crying), and a storm when he was angry. In German, on the other hand, to be "blue" (blau sein) is to be drunk. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli – a blue gemstone -to represent heaven. Lapis lazuli and azurite are also said to psychic heighten power. Blue is commonly Zeus used in the Western hemisphere to symbolise the male gender in contrast to pink used for females, although in the early 1900s, blue was the colour for girls (as it had traditionally been the colour of the Virgin Mary in Western art) and pink was for boys (as it was akin to the colour red, considered a masculine colour.) Blue is often the chosen colour by conservative people – as well as Britain’s Conservative

Party. Blue is the calming colour, and is often used for that purpose in decorating the home – especially the nursery -- or some public buildings. Blue is so soothing that psychologists consider it a good choice for pyjamas. The word blue was in used the 17th century as disa paraging reference rigid B l u e w h a l e to m o r a l codes and those who observed them, particularly in ‘blue-stocking’, a reference to Oliver Cromwell's supporters in the parliament of 1653. Dark blue is the colour of truth and moderation. Wednesday's colour is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Turquoise, both the colour and the gemstone, is the symbol of youth and is the colour of communication.

Lapis Lazuli

Blue gives a feeling of distance; artists

use it to show perspective. Put some blue in your life when you want: calm and relaxation to counteract chaos or agitation; to open the flow of communication; to broaden your perspective in learning new information; solitude and peace. In Thailand, blue is associated with Friday on the Thai solar calendar. Anyone may wear blue on Fridays and anyone born on a Friday may adopt blue as their colour.

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No Respect I Get No Respect 1. I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west! 2. My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caughtnhim stealing pens. 3. When I was born... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could... but he pulled through." 4. My mother had morning sickness after I was born. 5. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. 6. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. 7. "I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

8. I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get 9. I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing. 10. Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him... Do you think we'll ever find them.? He saidâ&#x20AC;Ś I don't know kid.. there are so many places they can hide." 11. On Halloween..the parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year one kid tried to rip my face off! Now it's different.. when I answer the door the kids hand me candy. 12. I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face. 13. "It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips... yet she won't drink from my glass!"

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Solar Shade - Professional Window Tinting Are you living comfortably? Then I'll begin.. Many of us from Northern Europe come here for the benefits of the year-round sunshine. Because of this, we want our homes to let in as much light as possible, and we don’t want to be stuck behind shutters and blinds. However, we then suffer the effect of fading furniture and the discomfort of excessive heat and glare in the room, which then drive up air-conditioning costs ̶ which we could do without as electricity prices soar. Now, there is a relatively inexpensive way round it: Solar Control Window Film, supplied and fitted by us at Solar Shade to glass curtains, glazed balconies, conservatories, cars, yachts ̶ in reality, we can stick it anwhere there is glass! what does Solar Control film do? As the name suggests, it controls the build-up of the sun’s heat, preventing it from entering the room through the glazing, and therefore making a comfortable living temperature. It can reduce 40+ celsius to 25-27 celsius, so air-conditioning doesn't have to work so hard and thus money is saved.

The material selects the infra-red part of the spectrum - the heat-causing part - and blocks it, so reducing the internal room temperature. But it doesn't cause darkening in the room either, and uniquely, it will retain winter heat too - by insulating the glass and upgrading older glass to current energy standards. It also offers a safety feature, since it can hold broken glass together. This means it gives a valuable element of protection, for example where older, single-glazed glass has been used - particularly in areas which are in constant use by children. It comes in many different colours and shades: silver, bronze, blue, green, black etc and once installed, is maintenance free. It adds privacy to your home, inhibits fading and will enhance the appearance of any building or vehicle.The Tint film can also be supplied as a Solar blind if you want the flexibility of only seasonal use. Go on! Improve your living environment and make living in the sun truly comfortable. If you'd like to know, more email solarshadetinting@gmail.com or call us on 902 888 176 or 644 546 176 and ask to speak to Ian. See our advert opposite.

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Ave El Faro Comercial Larios No4 (close to La Caixa Bank), 29793 Torrox Costa Call: Matthias 652 357 584 or Email: matthiasringe@hotmail.com For more information and no obligatory quote!

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a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 28 - 42

re! Great fun and great exercise! yo Jive is a modern jive dance class, it is a fusion of many e dance styles to modern music (although it says r a t x Cos Jive, its not rock 'n'roll). Why not give it a go Torro and impress your friends on the dance floor.! The Torrox area lays claim to have "the best cliEvery week we have a beginners class, so it mate in Europe" sheltered as it is by the Sierra doesn’t matter when you come along, there are Tejeda and Sierra Almijara mountains. Thus it always new people joining in all the time. It’s o boasts an average annual temperature of 18 C. easy, it’s fun and it’s a great way to meet new Separated by 4kms of farmland, the Pueblo people. You do not need a partner, come alone and Costa offer a pleasant combination of old or bring a friend. Class starts at 8pm so come traditional Spanish life and the facilities exalong a bit earlier from 7.45pm. Find us on pected by the modern day tourist. Here we facebook under Yo Jive Torrox and keep upto have found the best places to dine, shop and date with what’s going on. to be pampered. t it he abou ad all

Craft and artisan indoor Market at El Pino Restaurant Torrox Park every Wednesday from 7th March 10am to 2pm. For that special gift for UK Mothering Sunday on 18th March, look around the hand crafted stalls including cards, jewellery, clocks, pens, knitware, embroidery gifts plus new stalls arriving. To find us please follow the signs for El Pino Camping If you are interested in having a stall please telephone Rachael on 651787501, or call on the 7th March and have a coffee. Email: indoormarket@kwiksendmail.com CardioDance: Learn to salsa, cha cha, swing and hustle to an aerobic workout. Dance classes also held in all these, plus rumba, sal cha and choreographed routines. 606 086 300 For reputable buildings and contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans and more, contact Lewis insurance Services.

ace Detection mobile car diagnostics, covers American, European and Asian cars, 4x4's and light commercials, from 1992-2011. If you have a problem with your vehicle, give Andy a call on: 685 793 311, for a friendly, reliable service.

If you are thinking if reforming think of Multiparquet & Sevices based in Torrox Costa since 2002 reforming and decorating for you! Specialising in Parquet flooring, underfloor heating, decorating, reforms and they provide an IKEA service, they supply, deliver and assemble. Call Matthias 652 357 584 Join us at Los amigos in March, Mondays we have line dancing at 7pm with Rita, on Wednesday 7th and 21st we have our quiz night starting at 9pm with prizes and free snacks but will also include Play your Cards right. Friday nights from 9pm are karaoke and singalong with Alan and Hilary. Sat night entertainment in March starts on 10th with our Northern Soul Night, the 17th is a chillout easy listening evening with the Diamond Geezer, the 24th is Rock and Roll with Rockin Robin, all the best music from the 50's and 60's. Our

first table top sale of the year is on Saturday 10th March starts at 10am. New in March we have Ballroom Dance lessons with 'Dancing Dave' every Thurs 12 -2pm 6â&#x201A;Ź for two hours then afterwards a Tea Dance. All live premier-

ship football sown on a 50 inch tv screen. Lads & Dads Barber Shop Professional gents stylist and barber with 20 yrs experience. Open Mon - Sat 10am - 2.30pm with Heath & 4pm - 6.30pm with Danny Mon - Fri. Call: Heath 625 572 183 or Danny 638 401 226 Great fun, great exercise and a great way to meet new people. Supermercado Camping El Pino is open 7 days a week from 8.30am until 8pm. We have fresh milk, bread, hot baguettes, fruit and vegetable, ice and icecreams, greeting cards, alcohol, blue camping gas bottles and lots more. We are easy to find at the entrance of Camping El Pino in Torrox Park.

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a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 28 - 42 Hi, we would like to introduce you to “guido Bauer S.L.”. We are a family business dedicated to all types of property management. Our main offices are in Torrox Costa, Centro International Block 76, ground floor, here you will find our friendly team all tri-lingual speaking Spanish, English, German and French. We are estate agents, property managers and rental agents, also helpful with translation services, wills and inheritance and all types of insurances. Our dedicated rental team can offer you long and short term rentals. We are open everyday from 9.30–14.00 and 16.00–20.00 also Saturdays from 10.30–14.00. We are also contactable on our mobiles 24hrs. Come and see us, I am sure we can help you. Our motto ¨Guido Bauer once a client, always a client¨¨.

Mercadona. La Taperia is probably the best and most authentic Tapas Bar in Torrox run by Tanja and Nico. They offer more than 18 tasty tapas with daily specials as well as delicious roast chickens. Eat in or takeaway. Open daily from 9.30 for breakfast until 4pm Friday andSaturday and Sunday evening meals on reservation. Saturdays choose from Gambas Pil Pil (min 2 people), 4.90€ per person (pre reservation required) or Potato Pancakes & Apple Puree 4.90€ and on Sundays Fresh Mussels (min 2 people) 4.90€ per person (pre reservation required) or Curry Wurst & Fries 4.90€ (a

restaurante El Pino always has plenty going on. On our specials this month we have 2 for 1 Menu (Buy two meals for only 6.95€) available REF 1119 TORROX COSTA Luxury duplex penthouse 132m2, large Monday to Thursday lunch and dinner and Friliving/dining room with incredible views to day lunch. ‘Fish and Chips Friday’ buy two and the mediterranean sea, 3 spacious bedrooms with bathrooms en-suite, air get a free bottle of wine. Saturday is Steak Guido Ba conditioning hot/cold, electric blinds, 2 night. Sunday lunches with early bird option, large sun terraces, equipped modern Block 76, G book your table to dine before or at 1.30pm and kitchen, 2 underground parking spaces, 29793 Torrox Costa get a FREE BOTTLE OF WINE per two people extra storeroom, pool, gardens, squash www.guidob court, unfurnished, rent to buy possible, dining on the 11€ Menu.. Choose from a selec- just 2 minutes to the beach of Peñoncillo Sales: Siobhan 290,000€ tion of starters and main courses and hot and Rentals: Manue German speciality sausage). Closed Mondays cold sweets. Live music on 9th March with in the winter. Why not visit them for a delicious Geoff Murrell and 23rd March Music & Live homemade tapa or enjoy a 1.2 kilo roast Music Quiz with Gasoline. Our Friday night chicken, chips and homemade sauce for only quiz is on the 2nd March with Hugo and on the 16th is an 'Irish' themed Quiz with Julie. Don’t 8.50€. See our advert to place your order. miss out St. Patricks Night a R.E.P.S Club Charity Event on 17th March Irish Music, russells British Store always has a great dance, singalongs, jokes & limericks with stock of favourite British products. We have a Johnny Hollywood and guests, all proceeds go frozen food section and also stock cleaning to Malaga childrens home. Tickets Rep Club products, toiletries and even pet foods. Dont members 4€ Non members 5€ includes Irish forget Mothers day in March and also Easter is Stew supper. Limited tickets so call in early to early April, we have plenty of chocolates and get yours. Easter Eggs in store. Each month we have special offers in store so call in to see our Have you been to La Taperia located just beMarch offers. hind Lloyds bank, beside the Notary opposite

March offers at rebeccah Curtis Power Plate session 4€'s or book 10 for only 20€'s. Pick me up Facial for skin dry from the cold weather, will enjoy our Luxury Gold Treatment for only 25€'s. Open Monday to Friday 10am - 3pm and Saturday mornings by appointments. Visit Sylvia Bowyer, a qualified practicioner since 2001 for Bowtech treatment at the Rebeccah Curtis wellness centre on Tuesdays or Fridays or at Egos in Competa on Monday and Wednesday. The Bowen Technique is a handson therapy that is applied using very gentle pressure it can provide relief for many types of injuries and other health problems and is appropriate for all ages. Bowen technique addresses the whole body holistically by restoring balance via the autonomic nervous system. Call Sylvia to find out more. Opening times at

Caribe, well spring is just around the corner and whilst a young mans fancy may turn to....., here at Caribe Liliane has created a series of special Saturday night menus. This is truly different food at outstanding value and designed to tempt you out on a Saturday as the evenings stay a little warmer. Each Saturday we will offer a different Table de Hote priced at 12€ for 2 Courses or 14€ for 3 courses. It is cooking in the French style with one of Lilianes delicious special sauces, so forget the crisis for a night and come and enjoy a lovely evening at the Caribe in our newly decorated inside fine dining area. The Paseo Maritimo is a lovely place to come for the evening, so please join us. As per usual full details and directions as to how to find us are on our website www.caribetorrox.com It is much better if you reserve to ensure availability of all the choices on offer, email reserve@caribetorrox.com, telephone 952 530 831 or personal visit.

El ancla, on Penoncillo beach at Torrox Costa! Same ownership but new management, come and see the changes. A great Spanish and British menu, All day breakfast, tapas, bi-lingual friendly staff. Regular entertainment, private functions catered for, fabulous location right on the beach, plenty of parking, childrens play REF 1116 TORROX COSTA area, pool tables, warm cosy fire, Wifi, a great place to spend time at on a Winters day, Open Modern frontline penthouse with incredible panoramic views along the coast, 91m2 2 living space + 90 m terraces, huge sunny 10am 'till late.

auer S.L. Ground floor a Tel 952 532427 bauersl.com n 606 631 143 ela 654 369 298

terraces, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, american kitchen, air conditioning hot/cold, sold unfurnished, garage space in underground parking, very centrally If you would like to advertise your business located, shopping facilities nearby, bars alongside some of the best establishments and restaurants in walking distance, excellent rental potential in Torrox then call 664 210 468 or email

300,000€

Rebeccah Curtis are Monday to Friday 10-3pm and Saturday mornings by appointment.

sales@thesentinella.com Rates start from just 20 euros per month with no monthly contracts.

Sue & Carsten offer you a warm welcome

We have Danish OPEN SANDWICHES - ENGLISH HOME MADE PIES & BAGUETTES with fillings of your choice. Try Irish Rump Steak & Mushrooms, Roast Pork or Hot Chicken and Bacon. Or Danish Meatballs or Herrings on Rye Bread. Assorted DANISH PASTRIES, Apple Tart, Carrot Cake or Homemade LEMON CHEESECAKE topped with local oranges. Music Night with “Vic Faulkner” from the band “HELLO” every Tuesday night at 9pm Wednesday 23rd March - International quiz night starting at 8pm Karaoke every Friday night at 9pm

Open from 11.30am to late 6 days a week (closed Thursdays)

Tel: 952 967 734

Find us on Paseo Maritimo, Torrox Costa At the end of Avda. El Faro, down the steps and we are on the right just behind the “Ruins”

Find us on

Sands & C

CLINICA EUROPA

C S

Medicine

English Dentist: Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S.

w General Medicine

(univ. of London)

w Paediatrics

Harley St. Cosmetic Dentist of 25 yrs.

w Podiatrist

DENTAL EMERGENCIES -

648 203 157

w Ears, Nose & Throat Doctor

Take advantage of our free 2nd opinion

w Acupuncture

before you start your treatment elsewhere Competitive prices

w Aesthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery

Teeth whitening

w Special Treatment for Fibromyalgia and Stress - www.azenta.es

(call for more information)

Implant specialist We Speak English, German & French Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Weston Kennels & Cattery Fully Licensed Kennels

ibs!!! Not just R We specialise in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken Sunday 18th March MOTHER’S DAY Special Sunday Lunch with Live Background Music Bookings essential

Music Nigh

9th March

CóMPETA A real home from home for your pets looked after by a very nice bloke

30th March

QUIZ NIGHT - Last Sat. in the month

SUNDAYS - 3 course lunch

Bookings advisable - Credit Cards taken Torrox Costa - Block 88 (Next to tennis courts & auto 2000) Tel: 95 253 2369 / 696 516 534 Closed Mondays

Over 18 years experience Collection Service Long stays our speciality We also have CAS dogs & cats looking for a home

Tel: 951 254 134 660 167 902

Email: terrygweston@yahoo.com Torrox - Cómpeta road, 100m from Pavo real

The leading brand in Infrared Heating Heat up your home in a healthy and economical way! Infrared Design Heating System: Pictures, Mirrors, Glass, Blackboards, Columns etc. -New additional product line of frameless white panels: More power for your money.

-All Redwell® heaters have a partial storage heater to keep running times lower.

10% discount with this advert

above: Picture heater abstract

Contact us or visit the exhibition at our shop: Redwell, Dipl.- Ing. Svend Scharler, Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa Phone: 952539742, mobile: 606423869, Email: sscharler@gmx.de

www.redwell.com, www.redwell.es

Sky Sports

Casa Maria

Jam Night - Mondays

ESPN

(with hosts “Flip” & “Trio Paco Group”)

Happy Hour Sundays 12pm - 4pm (1€ bottle, 2€ pint San Miguel, 1€ glass of wine)

Mondays & Wednesdays - Zumba - 10am Sunday 1st April - 2nd Anniversary Live Music with Johnny Hollywood from 8pm Parties & Functions catered for Open 11am - Late 7 days a week Call: 667 954 901 or 664 259 968 Torrox Park (bar on the goat track) www.casamarias.webs.com

Light of India @ LEW’S Indian Takeaway Special Offer

6.95€

Starter + Curry (lamb extra) + Rice or Bread *Bottle of house wine on takeaway orders over 20€*

Indian Eat In

9.95€

“Eat as much as you like”

Traditional Fish & Chips and more.... Eat in or takeaway *Bottle of house wine on takeaway orders over 20€*

“ “Live English Football” 4 large screens with the capability to show 4 different games simultaneously

Opening Times: Light of India: Tues to Sun : 1pm to 4pm & 6pm to Close (Indian closed Monday) Lew’s: Mon to Fri : 1pm to 4pm & 6pm to 10pm Sat & Sun : 1pm to 10pm

One location; Two cuisines! at Light of india @ Lew's you can enjoy both good quality freshly made indian food as well as traditional fish and chips plus all the usual 'chip shop' food and more. we cater for those with large appetites as well as those who prefer lighter snacks or just a cup of tea or coffee and homemade cake. and let's not forget the jelly and ice cream!! we can also cater for those special occasions; birthdays, anniversaries or for any special celebration - just give us a call or come along to see us

Avda. El Faro, Edf. Ruselo, Torrox Costa Tel: 952 532 633 / 677 334 721

Clinica Casa Blanca Therapy Centre Torrox Costa since 2008

Bianca Bojahr Gift Vouchers available Forever Living products Home visits

Osteopathy, Massages, Bowen technique, Lymphatic drainage, Reflexology, Reiki, Shiatsu, Craneo Sacral, Ear-Acupuncture 40€ *Therapy for pain and illnesses *Osteopathy NOW 45€ *Bowen technique 40€ *Massages: - Neck and Shoulders or Feet JUST 15€ - Back, Neck and Shoulders or Legs 21€ - Whole Body Massage approx. 75 mins 39€ *Lymphatic drainage From 20€ *Reflexology approx. 60 mins 20€ *Reiki/Shiatsu/Metamorphic technique 30€ *Craneo Sacral Therapy 50€ *Ear Acupuncture 20€

Urb. Jardines del Mar / Bloque C3 Tel.: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 e-mail: clinicacasablanca@gmail.com

TO CO rr ST OX a

w E N

Original Greek Restaurant

Everyday Soup, salad, 5 different meats, rice, chips & vegetables.

‘Eat as much as you like’ including Red, White or Rosé wine All inclusive price

Daytime - 10€ Evening - 12.50€ Also every Sunday - from 3pm Live music and German cakes! Reservations: Tel: 952 967 502 Paseo Maritimo, C/ de Salitre 906 TORROX COSTA Closed Thursdays

BENaJaraFE

ViLLa

141M2

10 MiNUTES TO ThE COaST, LighT FiLLED MODErN ViLLa, 3 BEDS,

arChEZ

ViLLa

BEaUTiFUL ViLLa aBOVE arChEZ, 2 BEDS, 2 BaThS,

PriVaTE POOL, ShOrT aCCESS TO ThE BEaCh, PaNOraMiC SEa

SPaCiOUS LiViNg-rOOM, NEw kiTChEN, CarPOrT,

ViEwS, air CON, LaND 4,974M

POOL, TErraCES, SOLD FUrNiShED. 1,440M2 LaND

rEF. 5152 NErJa

PriCE: 299,000€ PENThOUSE

rEF. 5186 79M2

LOVELy PENThOUSE aParTMENT NEar BUrriaNa BEaCh, 2 BEDS, 2 BaThS, SEP. kiTChEN, LargE LOUNgE/DiNiNg rOOM wiTh aCCESS TO a TErraCE, aMPLE rOOF TErraCE wiTh JaCUZZi, garagE, COMMUNaL POOL

rEF. 5218

PriCE: 225,000€

92M2

PriCE: 229,000€

COMPETa/TOrrOX

257M2

iDyLLiC PrOPErTy, 3 BEDS, 2 BaThS, POOL, aMPLE POrCh, SPaCE FOr 4 hOrSES, FEED & TraCk rOOM, COMBiNaTiON BETwEEN MODErN & rUSTiC STyLE. SOLD FUrNiShED, LaND 9,700M2. ShOrT DriVE TO ThE COaST

rEF. 5205

PriCE: 349,000€

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Easy Training Courses For Women I’m signing up next week! 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game 5. Bathroom Etiquette i: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire 11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up 12. introduction to Parking 13. advanced Parking: Backing into a Space 14. water retention: Fact or Fat 15. Cooking i: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

6. Bathroom Etiquette ii: His Razor is His

16. Cooking ii: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

7. Communication Skills i: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

17. Cooking iii: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

8. Communication Skills ii: Thinking Before Speaking

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

9. Communication Skills iii: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

RAZA HOTEL Torrox

kEEP ThiEVES away 24 hOUrS

wImage recording wSOS button wLandline not necessary wConnected to central alarm

Your pets will a enjoy wonderful holiday surrounded by nature and in modern facilities For more information call us on:

952 535 417 686 904 792 or 616 371 034 Alternatively email us at: info@razahotel.com or visit our website: www.razahotel.com

Ask for FREE quote CALL NOW: 699 356 772 / 677 921 529 Email: daniel.castan@securitasdirect.es or alberto.alvarez@securitasdirect.es

NER

Nerja is renowned for its friendly, efficient local businesses, caring charities and all-round community spirit. It makes sense to support the best of the best, so check these out!

rafters rastro â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New 2 You Shop. We buy and sell your unwanted household items. We sell a huge variety of goods which are changing every day. Normally we have in stock; a wide range of furniture, lamps, vases, ornaments, general bric a brac, books and good quality second-hand clothes. Contact Alan or Wendy. Visit ink and Chips on C/Perez. They have all you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges and peripherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer technical service 365 days a year. Dentadanes Dental Clinic offer top-quality Danish dental care at Spanish prices; a successful concept they have used since they were established in 1991. Open Monday - Friday 10am - 5pm. They speak English, Danish / Scandinavian, German, Spanish and Italian. Come and see Glenn and Carlos at the Big garage. With more than 40 years experience as mechanics speaking English & Spanish, they can repair and service all makes of vehicles. Fixed price repairs whenever possible. They specialise in Land Rovers & 4x4's and use genuine Bearmach Land Rover parts & accessories. Steel & aluminium welding from 25â&#x201A;Ź. They are easy to find, as you head down from the motorway at Nerja, turn right at the new Lidl exit, keep right & you will see them straight in front of you. Open all day Mon-Fri from 9am-5pm. Tel. for a quote. Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully-qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment.

RJA

Olas Sports Lounge Bar After England V Holland on the 29th of Feb which would be Mar1st we move into real Mar. On the 3rd we have a six a side footy tournament in Frigliana with two teams visiting from Weybridge in Surrey after their visit last year and winning a round robin tournament we hope to be more challenging this year, starts10am till 2/3pm. Followed by a full weekend of footy & six nations Rugby. The Charity Quiz will be on Sat 10th start 8.30pm hosted by Coastline Radioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mr John Boy Holmes teams of up to six, a great buffet at half time. The charities we support are help for heros, Cudeca the local cancer Charity & The Nerja Donkey Sanctuary, for its work with disabled children we usually split the money raised three ways and have some great raffle prizes. We will be showing the FA cup 1/4 finals Champions Leagues knockout stages & six nations, all the games will be displayed on the boards outside the bar at the start of the week please call in if you would like to see a specific game and we will see what we can do. MOTHERS day Sunday 18th serving our famous Sunday Roast in addition for Mums we will include a sweet so for starters a roast and a sweet 10â&#x201A;Ź. There are plans to climb Mount La Maroma at the back of Velez Malaga for charity on Sun 25th, 4 hours up and then down. If your intrested and would like a sponsor form please contact the bar. Lastly last month we held our Mr & Mrs Valentines Quiz won amazingly by my daughter Georgia snd her boyfriend Loyall although I refused to let them answer two of the questions they won by five points well done to them both. Happy hours will continue into March between 5 & 8pm so come and chill as the sun goes down. If your car needs repairing, or you want to have it spray painted, visit Jonathan at artucolor for the best price and service. Artucolour is a general mechanics workshop offering car body repairs and body painting. If you would like to advertise on this Nerja feature page, boxes are just 20 euros per month Email: sales@thesentinella.com or call 664 210 468.

Advertise in this space for just 20 euros per month Call 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

The Sentinella 664 210 468

Recipe Of The Month Sweet & Sour Pork Takes: 20 mins to prepare and 15 mins to cook. Serves: 4 ingredients • 500g (1lb) pork fillet, cut into small cubes • 30ml (2tbsp) sherry or rice wine • 15ml (1tbsp) light soy sauce • 5ml (1tsp) cornflour • 1 x 432g can sliced pineapple, in juice • 15ml (1tbsp) sunflower oil • 1 red pepper, deseeded and cut into cubes • 1 carrot, cut into thin strips • 1 bunch spring onions, sliced For the sauce • 15ml (1tbsp) tomato ketchup • 15ml (1tbsp) soft brown sugar • 15ml (1tbsp) light soy sauce • 30ml (2tbsp) white wine vinegar • 10ml (2tsp) cornflour, blended with 15ml (1tbsp) cold water

Method: 1. Place the pork in a bowl, and add the sherry or rice wine and soy sauce. 2. Stir well and leave to marinate for 20 minuutes. Stir in the cornflour. Drain the pineapple from the can and reserve the juice, cut the pieces into chunks. Heat the oil in a wok or large frying pan and stir-fry the pork for 3-4 minutes until browned and remove from the pan. 3. Add the pepper, carrot, spring onion and pineapple chunks to the pan and cook for a further 2-3 minutes. Mix the reserved pineapple juice with the sauce ingredients and add to the pan with the pork. Simmer for 3-4 minutes. Serve immediately with egg fried rice or noodles.

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What They Say And What They Mean Top 25 engineer’s terms and expressions

that the situation is completely hopeless).

A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point).

We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already).

Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together).

Please note and initial. (Let’s spread the responsibility for this).

An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We just hired three kids out of school).

Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do).

Major technological breakthrough! (It works some of the time but looks very hi-tech!) Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch).

Give us your interpretation. (We can’t wait to hear your bull). See me or let’s discuss. (Come to my office. I’ve messed up again).

Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!)

All new. (Parts are not interchangeable with previous design).

The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who understood the thing quit).

Years of development. (One finally worked).

It is in process. (It is so wrapped in red tape

No maintenance. (Impossible to fix).

Double your pleasure of having new glasses

2 for 1

The offer applies to glasses with both single and varifocal lenses. it can not be combined with other offers and it applies to a selected range of products

Remember we also do hearing tests and hearing aids

Calle Antonio Ferrandis 23-25 29780 Nerja Malaga Tel: 952 528 395

Avda. Andalucia 119 29740 Torre del Mar Malaga Tel: 952 967 923

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

New In Nerja - Garra Rufa Fish Originating from Turkey this unique pedicure and skin treatment massages your feet using Garra Rufa fish. A new pampering experience that feels fantastic. So don't be shy and give it a try, I did! I had a truely amazing experience and sensation that is almost too hard for words. To begin, for me it felt like I was doing a bush tucker trial that felt all tickly and tingly, but very quickly I forgot this and began to enjoy the fish nibbling. They were certainly hungry and after 10 – 15 minutes I did not want to take my feet out, I felt so relaxed with my new fish friends, I had an urge to name all 150 of them! On completion I enjoyed a very relaxing foot massage and I have to say I had a surprising bounce in my step walking back to my car. what are the benefits? During the treatment the Garra Rufa fish nibble away the dry skin from your feet leaving your feet feeling refreshed and healthy. These clever fish can also stimulate acupuncture points, helping to regulate the nervous system, relax the body and release fatigue. Your blood circulation and flow is also greatly increased during the treatment. what does it feel like? The treatment can be a little tickly to start with, which is great, because we can all do with a laugh once in a while! You will feel a light tingling sensation and enjoy a relaxing foot massage. Does it hurt? No! The fish have no teeth so the treatment works by them gently nibbling away at dry skin which is a lovely experience! Can i catch any diseases? No, certainly not! These fish cannot transfer any diseases to humans. You will rinse your feet before the treatment and have your own dedicated spa pod. We employ a state of the art filtration system

sis, against partaking as general guidelines dictate that people with these conditions may be at risk of infection. You also cannot partake if you have a verucca, fungal nail or an infectious skin condition as these conditions can be contagious. Sorry! If you have any open cuts or wounds on your feet you should allow them to heal first. We also advise to wait at least 24 hours after having a leg wax or shaving. Can i have the treatment if i am wearing fake tan? Generally we would say no, as they can be quite toxic to the fish. But hey, this is Spain, so hopefully you will get yourself a natural tan! Can i take the treatment if i am wearing nail varnish? Yes, as long as it has been applied more than 48 hours beforehand and it isn’t flaking. how old do i have to be? If you are accompanied by an adult - any age! If you are not with an over 18 year old you must be at least 14 years old. how much does it cost? Amazingly it costs a lot less than you may think! Treatments start at just 10€. To help you choose, a full price menu is available at the salon. For example, you may opt for a fish pedicure with a relaxing massage and (if required) a polish of your choice. Either way all our treatments certainly make you feel good!

to ensure utmost safety for our clients. However, we do advise that people with weakened immune systems or underlying medical conditions, including diabetes, eczema and psoria-

Do i have to book an appointment? This is a "walk-in" service with NO appointment, so please just pop on in and let our little fish work their magic.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Funny Thoughts How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it?

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

How many weeks are there in a light year? What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get? What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

If I save time, when do I get it back? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? What hair colour do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? (Not sure but I will ask my Dad)! Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Why are violets blue and not violet?

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640 Advertise your business

Full Colour Beer Mats *Great way to promote *Bars are looking for beer mats *Why not put your logo on them

Full colour 6,000 mats

399€

Call: 667 440 632

DENTiST Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Reliable Driver with Clean Van & 3m trailer

Available for Removals & Clearances

20€ per hour References available

Call: 6000 47435 MAnn & VAn

UK Moves and Back Local Removals

Nutrition advice also available

Janet Van Dam Tel: 618 989 125

(by appointment only) www.well-therm.com janetvandam@live.com Clinics at: El Morche, Competa, Puente Don Manuel

20€ per hour Call Barry: 628 236 661 or 672 973 513

Jewellery Traders

WE BUY & SELL SECONDHAND: Gold, Silver, Jewellery, Coins, Jewellery repair GOOD RATES PAID FOR SCRAP & ITEMS!!

Tel: 635 497 033 Email: spanishsunsets@hotmail.co.uk or come and see us at the following markets:

w w w w

Tuesdays - Trapiche 10am - 2pm Wednesdays - Hotel Saydo, Mollina 10am - 2pm Thursdays (1st in the month) - Iznaja 10am - 2pm Sundays - La Trocha (Coin) 10am - 2pm (near the lift)

If you need help with translations, dealing with the Spanish system, locating and negotiating with tradesmen, improving your Spanish, visits to the town hall, hospital, etc.

639 936 988 / 952 970 980

maria@solutions4xpats.com Mobile Secretary work by the hour also available

*Pilates

Colmenar

(Classes in Colmenar & Puente don manuel)

low impact aerobics

*Circuit training - freeweights *Personal training - one to one or groups new Zumba classes a great way to keep fit and have fun Contact: Carol 659 295 346 email: bodynsoul@hotmail.co.uk

Spanish Number Plates a Car Transfers aDriving Licences aInterpreting aOther Paperwork Sara Bright

951 167 094 / 658 501 610

CAR BOOT SALE OLD & NEW

“BARGAINS GALORE” 1st Sunday of every month

CARPENTER - JOINER City & Guilds 25 years experience 10 years in Spain

Restaurant El Pantano

BESPOKE Windows - Doors Wardrobes - Kitchens

(On the A356 towards Colmenar, overlooking the lake)

All aspect of carpentry

Call: 657 399 995 / 669 600 419

Call Martin on: 618 295 009

9.30am - 1.30pm

POOL TABLE

INTERNET ACCESS

BAR ATILA FREE WI-FI

SKY SPORTS

ESPN

FULL HD!

GOOD FOOD AT GOOD PRICES Open 10am til late. Kitchen open til 9pm (til 5pm on Sundays)

ST. PATRICK’S PARTY

Sat Mar 17th 7.30pm

Irish themed menu ALL DAY Best Limerick Competition! DISCO (diddly diddly!) Cheap Guinness!

Sunday roasts Daily home-cooked specials board Parties catered for

HAPPY HOUR! Mon - Sat 6pm - 7pm Beer - €1.50 / pint Spirit & mixer - €2.00 CLOSED THURSDAYS 2012 OPEN POOL TOURNAMENT Singles & Doubles Entries by Wed Mar 14th Cash Prize

a-356

"Stuck for a gift idea? ... we now sell Bar Atila Vouchers!"

a-402

For information or bookings please call:

663 393 987

C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel

AUTOCOOL Have your headlights gone opaque or yellow?

This is now a fail on the ITV test so get them professionally refinished Don't forget we still service car air con systems to keep you cool Call Mike now on:

951 321446 or 616 264067 www.autocoolspain.com

Mobile: 606 510 479 www.sunshinewoodwork.co.uk sunshinewoodwork@live.co.uk Chicken coups all sizes, Fencing, Gates, Trellises, Gazebos, Garden Furniture & Sheds MADE to measure

Michael/Maria Reeve Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email: acecarrental@hotmail.co.uk www.acecarrental.biz Long term Car Rental pcm Group B 375€ Group C 425€ Group D 475€ Zafira 7 seater 600€ 4x4 700€

Airport pick-up and delivery Special offer - Hyundai Accent family sized car 100€ p/w (min 4 week hire) Free delivery along the coast from Nerja - Airport

Heat Reflective Tint for Glass Curtains, Balconies, Patio windows. Solar Blinds for large glazed areas Keep the view & privacy, reduce heat/glare Save money on cooling. Keep heat in during winter. Make living in the sun comfortable.

Call: 902 888 176 / 644546176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com

Rendezvous Bar & Restaurant

Fantastic Menu including;

Scallops & Pancetta, Pan Fried Lambs Liver & Bacon, Rosemary Lamb Shanks, Penne Arrabiata, Fried Camembert, Finest Steaks, Full Breakfasts & Lunchtime Specials

CHINESE NIGHT

Thursday 22nd March Prawn Crackers ~~~~ Spring Roll or Hot & Sour Soup ~~~~ Beef with Oyster Sauce or Chicken with Black bean Sauce or Sweet Chilli Chicken ~~~~ Egg Fried Rice or Singapore Noodles ~~~~ Ice Cream

12.95€

SUNDAY LUNCH & Mother’s Day

Sunday 18th March Homemade soup or Homemade Chicken Liver Pate or Caramelised Onions & Toast or Traditional Prawn Cocktail ~~~~~ Roast Beef, Pork or Chicken with all the trimmings

10.95€

(Reservations essential)

HEATED TERRACE DAY & NIGHT LOOK OUT FOR OUR SPECIAL NIGHTS FULL MENU SERVED ALL DAY Open: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 10am – Late Tuesday – Closed Saturday 11am – Late Sunday 1pm – 8pm Camino de Venta Baja, Puente Don Manuel, La Viñuela Please contact Victoria or Simon on 676 582 147 or 622 404 339 for reservations and details of forthcoming special nights & events

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts wasp species that either preys upon it or acts as a parasite on it. Some wasp stings can be fatal, as some people are allergic to them. The stung area can swell and form a lump that takes a few days to soothe.

g n i z a Am cts Inse asps W

Wasps are one type of nature’s creatures which few people would admit to liking. They torment us at barbecue time, they sting us when we are least expecting it and, not to put too fine a point on it, they are just….well EVERYWHERE when we want to enjoy some quality time outdoors. Wasps are found in all countries of the world, barring the Polar regions. Around the world, there are approximately 75,000 recognised species of wasps that grow to a length of at least two-thirds of an inch. Almost every species of insects contains a

When wasps die, they release a smell (called a pheromone) which warns other wasps of lurking danger and that help is needed. Just like many other species of insects, the wasp is known to be a social animal. As many as 10,000 wasps are believed to inhabit one nest. The queen wasp is helped by some other fertile females to increase the population of the nest in the beginning, but once sufficient eggs have been laid to establish the colony, other ‘female’ wasps eventually become sterile.

Gourmet night with Live Music Saturday 17th March

Crispy Prawns on Basil & Mint sauce ~~~~~ Lightly Smoked Turkey Medallions with Strogonoff sauce served with Puff Pastry & Vegetables ~~~~~ Little Cakes of Cheese and Lemon Pie

Only 19.50€ per person Reservation & Deposit required

For reservations please call: 952 965 424 or 662 086 854 Email: restaurantelsalmon@hotmail.com www.restaurantelsalmon.com Avda. Andalucia 56, Torre del Mar

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Amazing Insects (Continued) Wasps are preyed upon by different animals which can include birds, amphibians, reptiles and various species of mammal. The wasp’s bright colour can serve to deter the predators. The queen wasp, who is the only breeding female, builds the nest using a papery substance made of chewed wood and plants. Wasps are omnivorous – meaning they eat a mixture of plants and other animals. Some varieties prefer to eat sweeter plants and feed on nectars, fruits and honey. However, they also eat insects and even large caterpillars. Spanish wasps like to eat meat – hence the party host trick of placing a small piece of uncooked meat and a small amount of water in a

bowl away from the BBQ area. If this is done about an hour before you start cooking, the majority of the wasps will be attracted to the ‘trap’ and not your barbecue! Wasps tend to become very aggressive from August to October. During this period, their food preference shifts from insects to food and rubbish, and it also the time when they tend to attack humans. Since wasps prey on caterpillars, they are considered as beneficial by farmers and gardeners. Wasps are active only during daylight, and can usually be found resting in their nests during the night. The hours of darkness are the best time to permanently eradicate them, and spraying or pouring ordinary diesel fuel into the nest is an effective method. All female wasps are not fertile and the first group of wasps to be born is sterile.

To discuss your individual needs, please speak your local advisor richard Mills. Tel: +34 607 845 603 Email: richard.mills@devere-group.com

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Del Boy Dodgers Continuing sadly, our feature on certain businesses that The Sentinella no longer have any association with so make of it what you will...

We no longer have any further association with Carl Firth Swimming Pools.

Save up to 50% compared to conventional retaining walls

Smile

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do too especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now!

Dry-stone Gabion Walls Do it yourself or we supply and erect. Up to 50% saving against conventionally built stone walls

Do it yourself kits supplied with full instructions and advice or we can supply and erect using our own fully qualified staff. All products delivered direct from the manufacturer in the UK No planning required No architects drawings No long waits for building licences Suitable for landslips, retaining wall solutions & ornate landscaping All Gabion baskets are guaranteed for over 50 years against corrosion Gabions act as natural drainage so no water diversions are necessary No sand or cement needed

For a FREE no obligation quote & site survey call:

952 516 218 / 660 792 282 O r v i si t ou r ne w webs i te www.gabionspain.com / gabionspain@gmail.com

Bar/Restaurant “The Garden”

Restaurant winter opening hours 6pm - 10.30pm Saturday 10am - 2pm / 6pm - 10.30pm Sundays 1pm - 7pm Bar open everyday from 5pm Happy hour 5.30pm - 7pm (Tubo 80c / Pint 1.60€) Sports fans - Bar open weekends from 1pm - Catch all your matches & events on Sky Sports and ESPN (Happy hour 2pm - 3pm) HUNGRY? Why not have Chicken, Scampi or Cheeseburger all served with chips for only 3.95€. Other toasties and tapas also available Also available now Pizzas & tapas to eat in or takeaway

3 course Sunday Lunch 10.95€

6 choices of starters & desserts Beef, pork or chicken or combination of 2 meats, yorkshire puds, roast & mash potaoes + 5 vegetables & trio of sauces Main course only 7.95€ Why not try our one meal special for 3.95€ Two of you? 2 meals and a bottle of wine - 10€

Come and try our Bumper Breakfast on Saturdays for 6.90€.

Small breakfasts and toasties (sausage, bacon or eggs) also available Special offer!! Bumper Breakfast + juice and tea or coffee 7.95€

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL!

Tuesday - Saturday 6pm - 8pm 6 choices of Starters, Mains & desserts. Have a Starter & Main or Main & Dessert inc. a glass of wine, beer or soft drink

7.50€

For reservations & information: 696 206 158 or 665 070 281

Special menus available for groups & private functions. Organisation of stag or hen nights, etc

To Puente don Manuel

Nick Turner Refurbs All aspects of building work undertaken Specialising in full house refurbs including tiling, UPVC & aluminium doors and windows, kitchens, bathrooms, plastering, carpentry and bricklaying. We also construct "made to measure" deckings and pergolas, constructed from tanalised timbers. Mobile: 679 113 600 Telephone: 952 553 124 nick.turner@objectpower.net

www.nickturnerrefurbs.com

Our dental team specialise in complex cases and full-mouth restorations using dental implants with a particular emphasis on cosmetics

Spanish dentist registered with the General Dental Council UK (Registration No. 84912)

Fluent English and French spoken.

OPENING HOURS:

LOCATION:

Mon to Fri: 9am - 1pm 4pm - 8pm C/ Camino de Málaga nº 9 1º 29700 Vélez-Málaga (near Vélez-Málaga town hall)

Tel: 952 50 65 25

ArKWriGHTs

The British Store & More Your No. 1 Stop Shop Open 7 days a week OF PUENTE DON MANUEL - NEAR LAkE VIñUELA NEXT TO THE FERRETERIA, AT THE END OF THE PARADE OF SHOPS AT THE CRUz DE PERIANA

TAkE THE RIGHT STEPS AND MARCH UP TO ARkWRIGHTS THIS MONTH WE ARE GETTING REALLY SAUCY WITH OUR MONTHLY OFFER OF 10% OFF ALL SAUCES & kETCHUPS ETC.

MARCH - FREE RAFFLE OFFER 10€ PER DAY. GREEN CUISINE SPICES CHOOSE 3 PAY FOR 2. Opening hours: Monday - Saturday 9am - 7.30pm Sunday 10am - 4 pm

ArKWriGHTs

Where you are Number ONE Not one of a number Puente don Manuel WE HAVE A NEW ITEM IN THE STORE “DULCESOL” 1€ ITEMS, THESE ARE PROVING EXCEPTIONALLY POPULAR, ESPECIALLY AS THEY HAVE A GOOD RANGE OF SLICED BREAD, ROLLS, SPONGES (IDEAL FOR TRIFLE), DONUTS, SWISS ROLLS ETC., THERE ARE SO MANY ITEMS IT IS HARD TO LIST THEM ALL. WE HAVE A GOOD RANGE OF GLUTEN FREE AND WHEAT FREE PRODUCTS, GRANOSE SAUSAGE AND BURGER MIXES, NAIRN OATCAkES, WE USUALLY STOCk AROUND 12 DIFFERENT TYPES, ALONG WITH MRS CRIMBLES CAkES AND BISCUITS, AS WITH EVERYTHING IF YOU NEED ANYTHING IN THIS RANGE WE ARE ONLY A PHONE CALL AWAY. WE ONLY CLOSE TWO DAYS OF THE YEAR, CHRISTMAS DAY & NEW YEAR’S DAY, WE DO NOT CLOSE FOR SPANISH OR BRITISH HOLIDAYS

The Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe

952 519 780

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: www.arkwrights-groceries.com

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Essex Hurricane Appeal A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Tuesday with its epicentre in Basildon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing almost ÂŁ30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-yearold mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, TylerMorgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning." Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were

Almijara Gardening and Landscape at your service * Garden maintenance * Design and creation of gardens, waterfalls, rockeries, etc. * Water system installations - manual or automatic * Pruning of trees and palm trees * Treatments * Installation and maintenance of grass * Seasonal work, such as strimming, pruning, weeding, garden clearance and a one-off health check and fertiliser treatments * No compromise free quotes

Tel: 636 59 36 17

viverosalmijara@gmail.com

unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound shop. hOw CaN yOU hELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White stilettos White sport socks Rockport boot... Any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, KFC, Ice cream, Cans of Special Brew and Maccy dees.

Cazadores De La Luna Restaurant & Hotel Carretera Casabermeja - Colmenar km 8, 29170 Colmenar www.cazadoresdelaluna.com

Join us in the comfort of our beautiful Cafeteria by candle light and log fire to try our succulent A la carte menu. From Traditional Fish and Chips with mushy peas in a light and fluffy beer batter that is to die for, to sumptuous fillet steak with chips and peas. We have so much to offer for all the family! Monday to Friday (daytime) - Come and enjoy our 3 course ‘Menu Of The Day’ including free glass of wine per person for only 7€ SUNDAY LUNCH - If you like Traditional English Food come and see us every Sunday for a Freshly Prepared Roast Lunch that is to die for!! Choice of two different meats every week, all our food is freshly prepared so you’re guaranteed quality. (Check the website for reviews!!) ONLY 7.95€ per person Join us for Mothers Day 18th March for a Traditional Sunday Lunch and FREE glass of wine for each Mother. (Offer applies when booking in advance) Spanish Fathers Day 19th March, why not join us on Mothers Day for a lovely Spanish Traditional Menu a day early to celebrate Fathers Day? WE look forward to serving you! Cazadores de la Luna Team For reservations please call 952 730 112 or email us: cazadoresdelaluna2012@gmail.com

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ts c a ss F

use are ! y e h g ys t azin alwa ut am s b A

le e s U

less

at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all. So good luck! Less than 3% of Nestle's sales are for chocolate.

Approximately 98% of software in China is pirated. At any given time, there are 1,800 thunderstorms in progress over the earth's atmosphere.

The average person will spend two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change. A man's beard contains between 7000 and 15,000 hairs. A hair is 70 per cent easier to cut when soaked in warm water for two minutes. 4 million people die annually from diarrhoea infections, caused by poor sanitary conditions.

At room temperature, the average air molecule travels at the speed of a rifle bullet. Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west. Carolyn Shoemaker has discovered 32 comets and approximately 800 asteroids. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest. Everytime Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head. At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing. If you attempted to count the stars in a galaxy

The number of cars on the planet is increasing three times faster than the population growth. It took 1,175 animators working in Disney studios in Burb a n k , California, Orl a n d o , Florida, and Paris, France to complete the animated Tarzan. Because of the time differences, production was able to occur around the clock for more than three years. George Washington grew marijuana in his garden. Goat milk is used to produce Roquefort cheese. Golden toads are so rare that a biological reserve has been specifically created for them.

Medical Centre & Surgery

CLiNiCaS Verdemar Dr. H. NEHMAN FARHAT

(fellow of royal college of surgeons spain)

(Reg. 29/08/25255) *General Surgeon General Practioner. *Skin Diseases *Soft Laser Treatment *Varicose Veins (Microfoam) *Lower Back Pain Laser *Neuropathy *Breast Surgery *Mesotherapy

wE arE hErE

C/Verdemar

Consultations in English & Spanish Appointments call: 616 528 521 C/ Verdemar 2c Edf. Toboso 1 Torre del Mar Clinicas Verdemar

Vinomar

Sugar Factory

Tenencia de Alcaldia Avda. Andalucia Police Station

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Random Jokes Understand that the A12 is the main trunk road in Essex. As a trucker stops for a red light on the A12 a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops at another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she he it, lowers says,...... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter and I'm driving the bloody gritter......." ------------------------------------------------------------The other day I was in an empty pub having a quiet beer by myself. The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top.. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show. After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me and sitting down. She said 'Hi', and I said 'Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and down. 'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. ... 'I bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I bet you've never felt this good before.' 'Well, I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked to play for the school 1st

XV in the Public School Finals in front of a crowd of about 3,000 and I felt really good.' I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast. 'How do you feel now,' she purred. 'OK' I replied. Again, she said, 'I bet you do. In fact, I bet you've never felt THIS good before!' Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the match. The opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it... I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, handed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with which to win the match and......... ' "Ahhh....." she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed, pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her skirt. My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton and she was wet !!!! whispered, She 'Well tell me this, Mr. Rugby Man: Have you ever felt such a perfect c***?' 'I certainly have,' I answered, 'I missed the kick.' ------------------------------------------------------------A man who was born and bred in Woodbridge, Western Australia, went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off his penis. According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient’s girlfriend found the ring in his trouser pocket. She didn’t know he was married and she was so mad that she used vaseline to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep. I don’t know what’s worse; 1. Having your girlfriend know you are married 2. Explaining to your wife how your ring got on your penis or 3. Finding out that your penis fits onto a wedding ring Tough call you decide

STEP iNTO SPriNg!! @ Puente don Manuel

your local Village Market 9.30am - 1.30pm every Friday stunning outfits at amazing prices

5 rice £2 M&S p ly 18€ n o e pric Puente

Monsoon price £55 Puente price only 26€

Next p rice £2 2.99 Puente price o nly 15€

Extensive range of new season Uk labels in sizes 10 - 24 available at Begoña`s stall NOw we have a huge variety of new, artisan and car boot stalls. grEaT MarkET, grEaT aTMOSPhErE, grEaT PriCES !!! See you there More info? ring karen on 674 526 968

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The Greek Bailout The Greek Bailout explained... It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who knew that the publican had fallen on hard times and had been offering him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works

ChE Ck OU DiS T OUr CO UNT S!

pino electricidad 19.95€

69.95€ 29.95€

SPECiaL OFFEr

wriST BLOOD PrESSUrE MONiTOr Big Screen Easy to use

14.95€

SPECiaL OFFEr

ELECTriC BLaNkET 60W max 110 - 230V 150 x 80cm

SPECiaL OFFEr QUarTZ hEaTEr 2 heat settings 600W / 1.2K Instant heat

DEhUMiDiFiEr Compact Elegant 600ml per day 2 litre capacity

26.95€

SPECiaL OFFEr

FaN hEaTEr 2,500W Thermostatically controlled

Custudio Puga, 9-a TOrrE DEL Mar (Behind the Taxi rank)

Tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93 www.pinoelectricidad.es

sh op spain.com

CONTRACT CARDS DISHES DIGIBOXES REMOTES T.V. REPAIR SATELLITE INSTALLATION All with 12 months guarantee We deliver and install in all areas Call us to check out our prices Monday - Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday 10 am - 2pm

952 541 147

skyshopspain@hotmail.com

50% off Lipo by Laser Mondays only!!

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Competa

Cómpeta pronounced by stressing the Com and not the Peta, is a high mountain village situated in the foothills of Sierra Almijara. The road to it is long and winding and as you drive onwards and upwards past lorries hurtling past you at breakneck speed you just know that when you get there this village will have everything you need to sustain you as you are not going to want to keep driving up and down 18 kilometres to the coast every day! It is on the route of sun and wine and has a vast population of some 3,600 people from about 35 different nationalities. A kind of United Nations of the mountains! You can drive all the way up to the central square, la plaza Almijara, where there are plenty of bars, restaurants and shops sitting submissively below the Church of la Asuncion with its unique belfry tower, a reference point on the Cómpeta skyline. It seems to rise right up through the clouds as you stand below to admire it. Walking through the arch to the Paseo de las Tradiciones you find a much needed shady terrace with public toilets and the history of the village shown in a series of ceramic murals. You can´t park your car there but you can drop people off so they don´t have to walk up the steep cobbled streets. Other places of interest are the Hadriano Mu-

seum in the oldest part of town, which is just a house with a mill inside! The Chapel of San Cayetano which sits behind the museum on San Sebastián street and in turn leads to the quieter end of town, the cemetery! There is also a wine museum that sells different types of local wine, produce and handicrafts as well as serving food and drinks. August 15th is the Noche del Vino, the annual festival where free drinks can be sampled throughout the streets which are alive with Flamenco and other dance and music. In the morning there are demonstrations showing the treading of the grapes followed by lunch of migas and sardines with salad. Traditionally the villagers leave the town on this day to go to their country houses to harvest their grapes, placing them on enormous drying beds, that look like giants graves! and turning them in the harsh sunlight. Once sufficiently baked the grapes are then collected and the stalks snipped off, rendering them ready for consumption. If you listen you can hear the hills are alive with the sound of snipping in late S e p t e m b e r. The leaving party, as the villagers departed for their finca´s, was made an official fiesta by the local council in 1975. It is worth making a note in your diary as it is one festival you should attend at least once to enjoy the history and tradition of this vast mountain village. The best way to get to Cómpeta is either up from Algarrobo, past Sayalonga and continue up, or up from Torrox Pueblo.

Property Of The Month AS1172 Cómpeta 175,000€ Delightful 140m2 property with dip pool and guest casita on a secluded 1,300m2 plot situated down a short dirt track from the road between Torrox and Cómpeta. The main house comprises dining room, lounge, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom. There is a Moroccan style courtyard with private entrance leading to 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom

PrOPErTy SPECiaLiSTS SiNCE 2001 iF yOU haVE PrOPErTy TO SELL CaLL SaLLy ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781

Sally harrison Owner / agent

Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com

AS2245 Iznate 60,000€

AS2635 Mezquitilla 475,000€

AS2634 Benamocarra 66,000€

93m2 2 bedroom house with lounge, kitchen, bathroom and roof terrace

239m2 4 bed, 3 bath detached house with garage, pool, garden, sea views

32m2 1 bedroom house

AS2632 Viñuela 240,000€

AS2633 Alcaucín 348,000€

AS2630 210,000€ Canillas de Aceituno

130m2 3 bed, 2 bath villa with large front garden and pool terrace

178m2 3 bed, 3 bath villa with pool and stunning mountain and lake views

85m2 2 bed villa with glazed covered terrace, garage, 3,700m2 plot

with patio and metal steps to roof terrace

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THE MOSQUITO SCREEN COMPANY

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We have now been Screening the Costas and Inland for 9 years We manufacture all types of screens, any shape, any colour Magnetic - Aluminium Sliders Roller Screens - American Swing Doors and Patio/Balcony Enclosures ALUMINIUM - U.P.V.C WINDOWS, DOORS & CONSERVATORIES w w w

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Population - 789,000 Language - Arabic Located - Indian Ocean Capital - Moroni Currency - Comoran franc religion - Muslim Main Exports - Vanilla, Cloves Literacy rate - 48% Life Expectancy - 62 years g.D.P. Per Capita - US$ 1,159 Total area - 1,862 sq km

WANTED *Cars *Motorhomes *Plant Machinery *Bikes

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National Sport - Football Famous for - Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful picture-postcard beaches. infamous for - The people of the Comoros are among the poorest in Africa and are heavily dependent on foreign aid. interesting Facts - The meaning of the countries name is "Island of the moon". Most inhabitants make their living from subsistence agriculture or fishing; exports include vanilla and essences used in the manufacture of perfumes. In 1975, three of the so-called perfume islands voted for independence from France; the fourth, Mayotte, elected to remain a dependency. Some 18 coups, or attempted coups, since independence have created great instability. In 1997 the islands of Anjouan and MohĂŠli declared independence, but a new federal constitution in 2001 brought the islands back together.

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Random Jokes One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The husband, rejected, turns over.. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again, 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?' ------------------------------------------------------------Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle

“The hire company for the little ones”

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAkE VIñUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant. We are signposted from there. From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers. Everything you need for when little ones come to visit. PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: www.nurseryneeds.com EMAIL: dawn@nurseryneeds.com

slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?' 'I got fired.' 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh...she got fired too..' ------------------------------------------------------------A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.' 'Well,' Granny sniggered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your porridge!.

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We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat. Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy. Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access. We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs. We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service. For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 www.campocats.com Campo Cats Cattery

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Profile Name: Maria Halle Berry

coming an actress, Halle entered several beauty contests, winning Miss Teen All-American in 1985 and Miss Ohio USA in 1986. In 1986, she was first runner-up in the Miss USA Pageant, and was the first African-American to enter the Miss World competition, where she finished sixth. Halle moved to Illinois to pursue a modelling and acting career in 1987 During the taping of the short-lived US TV series ‘Living Dolls’ in 1989, she lapsed into a coma and was diagnosed with diabetes. She became a Bond Girl called Jinx in ‘Die Another Day’ (2002), where she recreated the famous scene from ‘Dr. No’, emerging from the surf to be greeted by James Bond, just as Ursula Andress had done 40 years earlier.

Birthday: 14th August 1966 age: 45 Sign: Leo Birthplace: Cleveland, Ohio Marital Status: In a relationship with Oliver Martinez Children: Nahla Ariela Aubry, born on 16th March, 2008 Occupation: Actress Claim to fame: Bond girl Berry's parents selected her middle name from Halle's Department Store, which was then a local landmark in her birthplace of Cleveland, Ohio. She later changed it by deed poll to Halle Maria Berry Her parents divorced when Halle was four years old, and she and her sister were brought up by their mother.

Halle first appeared nude in 2001, in the film ‘Swordfish’. At first, she refused to be filmed topless in a sunbathing scene, but allegedly changed her mind when Warner Brothers increased her fee by 500,000 dollars. In 2003, she was named number one in FHM's ‘100 Sexiest Women in the World’ poll Halle is now reputed to earn 10 million dollars per film. As of 2011, her worldwide box office gross has been more than 2.7 billion dollars. She has been married twice; her first husband was former baseball player David Justice, in 1993. The couple separated in 1996. She said she was so depressed at the time that she considered suicide, only deciding against it because she could not bear the thought of her mother finding her body.

Halle became the first woman of African American descent to win an Oscar for Best Actress. She got it in 2001 for her role in Monster’s Ball.

Halle’s second husband was Eric Benét, whom she married in 2001 and divorced in 2005.

Halle was involved in the production side of several of the films in which she performed. Before be-

In November 2005, Berry began dating French-Canadian supermodel Gabriel Aubry, with whom she had a daughter, but the couple separated in 2010.

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LT Construction vines and roses.

The location of a pergola is very important when choosing a design for your garden. Most commonly, a pergola will be attached to your house, or used as an outdoor room in the garden. You can also add a pergola to a large deck, patio or next to a swimming pool. Pergolas should be used to provide a focal point for the garden. It could form an entrance to a large area in your garden, or used as a transition from one outdoor space to another. Similar to a large arbour, pergolas provide shade, an open and airy outdoor space and can be used to support climbing plants such as

Another thing to consider in your pergola design is the sun. Depending on how you place your top beams, you can create more or less light and shade. Wood is the most common material used, with cedar wood being the popular choice. Pergolas can also be constructed out of steel, aluminum or decorative brick, using quality materials that ensure a long-lasting structure; also try to incorporate some of the same colours and materials which are used in your home. By installing a stone or wood floor, or adding built-in seating, a table and chairs, permanent planters and lighting, you can create a stunning outdoor room. Visit our website to see various examples of pergola design. Let LT Construction be your first choice when calling on expert advice in designing your pergola and garden combination.

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Film iew Revrive D

The moment Ryan Gosling straps on his leather driving gloves and takes off to some mysterious destination, you sense this film is going to be one hell of a ride. Think Michael Mann directing Tarantino's True Romance, starring a young Nic Cage lookalike. The bright lights of LA pimp are the perfect backdrop for Gosling's unnamed antihero, who works as a Hollywood stuntman by day and a getaway-driver-for-hire by night. We don't learn anything about his private world,

but we see that this "Driver" can handle himself. He becomes involved in the life of the single mum next-door (Carey Mulligan) whose jailbird husband is played by Oscar Isaac (Sucker Punch, Body of Lies). And there are great performances from the older thugs, notably Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston and movie legend Albert Brooks. Adapted for the screen by the talented Hossein Amini, whose previous work includes excellent period pieces, Drive feels like a return to the best 90s' crime movies, not afraid to discharge a shotgun, stomp on a head or stick a fork in someone's eye. It's brutal, gruesome, and brilliant! Star Rating- ****/*****

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What’s New? New in the Axarquia this month.... Pop down to the markets at Trapiche on Tuesdays or Puente don Manuel on Fridays for the most delicious pies on the Costas. Shelly’s Deli & Pie Shop provides Thick Cut English Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Sliced Honey Roast Ham, Sliced Roast Beef & much, much more! A fantastic range of freshly made Deep Filled, Great Tasting Pies and a varied vegetarian section. Call 952 456 070 or 679 301 355 or email: raimondochef@live.co.uk. See advert on page 16 There’s a great new market in town at the Trapiche Bar & Restaurant every Saturday. There are 24+ stalls on a first come first served basis and from 11am - 3pm. Call Rudi on 952 554 514 or 674 526 968. See advert on page 88

New Spring Menu “BURGER HEAVEN” at MARDIS GRAS Bar Plaza Benamargosa

A sizzling selection of tempting burgers to suit every taste, even the seasoned vegetarians. All made from Beefsteak, Lamb, Pork, Chicken, Fish and Vegetables. Extra flavourings include cheeses, herbs & spices, chillis, fruits, pickles and much more!! From “The True American” all the way to “The Russian Red. Choose from 24 different varieties taken from world recipes. Eat in or out. Everyday from 7pm Tel: 638 489 711 for bookings

Raza Hotel in Torrox where your pets will enjoy a wonderful holiday surrounded by nature and in modern facilities. For more information call us on: 952 535 417, 686 904 792 or 616 371 034. Alternatively email us at: info@razahotel.com or visit our website: www.razahotel.com. See advert on page 42 Nick Turner refurbs carry out all aspects of building work. Specialising in full house refurbs including tiling, UPVC & aluminium doors & windows, kitchens, bathrooms, plastering, carpentry & bricklaying. Call: 679 113 600 / 952 553 124 Email: nick.turner@objectpower.net www.nickturnerrefurbs.com. See advert on page 62

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Veggie Patch Right now our allotment is looking rather sparse as some of our delightfully delicious veggies have come to an end. I went to Rome for a week (where it snowed for the first time since 1985) and when I got back Kami and Tony had been busy weeding and digging up all the old vegetables which had started to die. So now all we have left is celery, carrots, beetroots and cabbages, all tasty components of a salad. We’re planning to spend half a day there soon to plant some new vegetables. That means a visit to the garden centre which is always fun and then some hard graft, hopefully under a pleasantly warm sun. There’ll be more news next month when I’ll be able to announce what new vegetables we’re attempting to grow!

Email: joseluis@surintegral.com

$$$ Share’oscope $$$ Here is Mr. Share with some more share advice This month we have bought 666 Chariot Oil & Gas @ 150p. We are staying with oil shares this month and this is another company whose prospects are looking up with an outside chance of a takeover down the line. Last months share, Gulf Keystone Petroleum bought at 273p now 411p.

$$$ PLEaSE NOTE The investments we make are fictitious. Profits are not guaranteed, so please only invest what you can afford to lose!

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The Word Queen The importance of editing your book is paramount to the success of your novel. Too many writers, having got so far along the journey, stumble when it comes to editing their sweated over manuscript. For most people it’s even more difficult to edit than it is to write their book in the first place. Step One: get Some Distance When we’re too close to things we don’t tend to see them clearly, so typos etc are overlooked. That’s why it’s important to get a little distance. After you write a first draft, take a walk to clear your head. My advice is to shut your manuscript away in a drawer for five to six weeks. This time away from your novel will clear your head. Step Two: ask Questions. Imagine you’re the intended audience reading your book for the first time. The big questions you’ll want to answer are:

* Good writing avoids the passive voice. Write Sara threw the ball. Not The ball was thrown by Sara. * Check your margins, use of spacing and consistency in style of headings — font, bold or not bold, capitalisation, etc. Step Five: read it again! * After you’ve made your revisions, print your document and read it again. * Editing your book is a skill that can take years to perfect. But if you follow these recommendations, it’ll result in a far stronger manuscript… Love & Light The Word Queen xx

* Does it make sense? Will the reader understand what you’re trying to say? * Does it hold your interest from start to finish? * Does it include all the information you need? Step Three: is your writing Lean? If your writing isn’t lean you’ve got some work to do when editing your book. Here are three ways to get it in shape: * Trim long sentences: If any are longer than 25 words, consider turning them into two sentences or removing unnecessary words. * Slim down the words: Replace long words and phrases with short ones. Why say “ascertain the location of” when you can just say “find”? Step Four: Think about your grammar Here are a few major points to consider when you start editing your book: * Good writing is error-free. This means perfect spelling and no typos. * Check for the correct use of homonyms like to/too/two, their/they’re/there, etc. Spellcheck doesn’t always pick these up. * Confirm you’ve spelt all names correctly.

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Do You. Care ? Care working in the UK - Country Cousins is the UK’s leading private care specialist introduction agency, providing live-in care mainly for the elderly and infirm, enabling people to remain in their own homes for longer

many Country Cousins live here in Spain returning to the UK frequently or every now and then for two weeks or more assignments. If you are interested in earning between £945 - £1,200 for 15 days (one client) or £1,020 - £1,560 (two clients) by becoming a Country Cousin, please call Jennie or Barry for more information on: 625 807 504 or 952 115 305 (evenings)

The Sentinella sales@thesentinella.com Tel: 664 210 468 Business Services a5 Flyers single sided from 90€ (500) a5 Flyers double sided from 120€ (500) Business Cards (100) single sided from 30€ Business Cards (100) double sided from 45€

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Antony Worrall Thompson Antony Worrall Thompson was caught stealing some cheese from Tescos a few months back...

Wozza was caught stealing cheese from Tesco. He should have done it more Caerphilly.

Antony Worrall Thompson stole some cheddar? How dairy!

I don't care what he's done, I'm still hanging on to my Antony Worrall Thompson blender. Better the Breville you know.

I went to see Ready Steady Cook the other day. It was fantastic. Antony Worrall Thompson absolutely stole the show.

Asked how he feels about stealing cheese, Antony Worrall Thompson admits it wasn't very mature.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuffed up Worrall Thompson's jacket. Antony Worrall Thompson has been caught shoplifting milk, yeast and flour from his local Tesco. He's clearly run out of dough. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you're using the Worrall Thompson recipe book. Antony Worrall Thompson stole some cheese and wine. And that was only for starters.

Glass Curtains by Clear-view

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Cafe - Bar “Serving a selection of new dishes and of course, Fresh Fish! Attractive prices”

Fresh Cod & Chips Available Every Day - Just 8€ Mother’s Day Special Menu 18th March 3 courses & bottle of wine Just 35€ per couple C/Marquita 3, Paseo Puerta del Mar, Almuñecar Tel: 958 630 245 / 629 882 696 You can find us near the old Post Office, in front of the entrance to the underground car park. Closed Wednesdays

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Random Jokes (In Bad Taste) I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says "Fancy a s**g babe?" I said, "After the football love" She said, "You do realise that you can record it?" I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy finishes". ------------------------------------------------------------Americans Jeff & Jim are Siamese twins joined at the hip. They walk into a bar in New York & order a couple of beers. Barman serves them and asks "You guys been on vacation yet?" "We're off to England next week" says Jeff "We go every year." Barman says "England's great; the culture, history, the Queen. " Jeff replies "We don't go for that s***, it's the only chance Jim gets to drive the car." ------------------------------------------------------------My girlfriend has just asked me how many women I've s**gged. I said, “I really dont want to answer that love, you know I've had a past & I don't want to upset

you!' 'C'mon' she said, 'I can handle it!' So I had to sit there and count them all. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12”. ------------------------------------------------------------My Wife asked me to go to the Doctors about my erection problem. She wasn't pleased when I came back and gave her some Slimming Pills. ------------------------------------------------------------My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly, do I look fat in this". I replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom". ------------------------------------------------------------A small boy was lost in a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Bells" whisky, and women with big tits."

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Obituary - Nick Standen 1st June 1963 - 13th January 2012 Nick was a herpetologist with more than 40 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; experience of reptiles and amphibians, which he had been scientifically studying and captive breeding for about 30 years. He had an extreme passion for the scientific study of his animals and was meticulous in recording all aspects of the behaviour, breeding and feeding routine. He had a degree in Zoology from Southampton University and had travelled the world to study reptiles in the wild, including Australia, South America (including Paraguay) and Indonesia. He had also travelled extensively locally throughout Europe including Spain, Greece, Portugal and Morocco, studying local wildlife in situ. He was currently residing in the campo just above Benamargosa, near Velez-Malaga, (having moved there from Bristol in 2001) where part of his land had become a nature reserve and oasis for endangered local Spanish European chameleons. He was also an expert on local Spanish reptile and amphibians, and had written articles and helped out with species identification for quite a few members of the expat and local Spanish resident community.

girola (http://www.bioparcfuengirola.es/en) and will either be housed there or at their sister parc "Rainforest" at Valencia. Some animals may also be re-homed via the European Zoo exchange programme. http://www.bioparcfuengirola.es/en. Hopefully, a memorial plaque will be on display at the parc and his extensive library of herpetological reference books and journals will be available for reference and educational research. Nick will be missed by all who knew him for his quiet but unassuming manner, his sense of humour and also his unbounded knowledge and enthusiasm for all local animals and plants. He will also be missed for being such a good friend for such a long time. Long time friend Andy Howard will be planting a wildlife friendly, Heritage fruit tree orchard in England dedicated to Nick.

He had also established an unofficial Spanish chameleon nature reserve amongst the avocado and mango terraces he farmed. The chameleons were being spotted every year, due to their indigenous habitat being positively promoted by him to make a natural "oasis" for them. Nick passed away suddenly at the Carlos Haya Malaga hospital. He had initially been admitted before Christmas with a faulty aortic heart valve, which we all hoped would be subject to a successful operation in which it would be replaced with a new mechanical one. He seemed to improve a lot initially when he was in hospital, but then his liver started to fail. He was then admitted to intensive care where he died of a lung haemorrhage. Family members were with him. Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s extensive collection of animals, scientific journals and herpetology books have all been donated by his family to the Bioparc at Fuen-

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Competa Art Walkabout Cómpeta Art Walkabout - 11:00 – 17:00 Saturday 7th & Sunday 8th April 2012 Every Spring the vibrant Pueblo Blanco of Cómpeta, situated East of Malaga in the Axarquia National Park, comes alive with a variety of arts and crafts displayed & demonstrated at venues across and around the village. Over the Easter weekend, the event, which is free to the public, will showcase the diverse & creative talents of established and emerging local artists in the beautiful and culturally rich setting of Cómpeta. Art lovers and others will see original work in all mediums priced from the affordable to the extravagant. Participating artists are all from Cómpeta and surrounding communities, showcasing the wealth of regional talent.

The family-friendly community art festival is staged in local studios, homes, shops & bars and public venues & brings hundreds of art lovers of all nationalities from Southern Spain & beyond for a weekend full of art and discovery. Venues will be open Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th of April from 11:00 – 17:00. Visitors of all ages can view fine art and crafts in every medium, and enjoy & explore all that Cómpeta has to offer including: a very warm welcome, dazzling examples of local artistic talent, a chance to chat to the artists and see some at work. There are also fabulous restaurants, great shopping, a beautiful national park surrounding and fascinating sites to be seen. For more information - or to download a map visit http://www.competaart.com/. Maps and information will also be available at the Tourist office in Ave de Sayalonga, Cómpeta and participating venues on the weekend.

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y r a i D

s e e t a D r Th hat´s oanrea? W ur o Fo in y

Every Monday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Bingo 8.00pm Call: 663 393 987 Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market be tween 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. 682 502 870 Every Tuesday La Vaqueria Farmers Lunch. Set menu for just 5€. Reservations 952 517 273 (See main add below) Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, Torre del Mar, Bingo Quiz night with a difference. Quiz mixed with Bingo!! from 8.30pm with cash prizes. Now hosted by yours truely, Tony of The Sentinella. Come on down for a great evenings entertainment. Call 952544362

Every Thursday La Vaqueria Art Class. Informal and fun with professional tuition. 11am 1pm. Tel 952 517 273 (See main add below) Every Friday Chiringuito Carlos Market, 10am - 1.30pm Puente don Manuel. Every Friday La Vaqueria Ladies Dinner. From 7pm enjoy a two course vegetarian meal with great company and lively chat! Reservations 952 517 273 (See main add below) Every last Friday in the month APARIV Charity Quiz at Bar Viva in Torre del Mar. Call 952 544 362 Following on from my successful art exhibition in Taberna El Choto (running till end Apr), I am also exhibiting paintings at the Axarquia Art group exhibition in Frigiliana Jan 21st - Feb 11th at La Casa de La Cultura, 10.00 - 1.30 daily and 10 - 2.00/4.00 - 8.00 Sat & Sundays. Heather Gail Harmen’s drawing and painting classes. Vinuela every Mon and Fri and Torre del Mar every Thurs. Call 952 115 366 / 628 306 371 for details.

Country Market Los Jardines del Trapiche EVERY TUESDAY 9.30 - 1.30 For an extremely organised & fun day out, join us here at our indoor / outdoor market. Lots of varied stalls to browse around and a beautiful seating area for coffees, teas, hotdogs and bacon butties, etc. available at the outside bar Call Anita 627877164 or Chrissie 617811030 for more information. www.countrymarketsspain.com (Junction 272 onto the A356, Vélez Málaga, turn off at El Cruce towards Benamagosa and we are just before the private airport)

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Dates For The Diary (Continued) CardioDance: Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle. Dance Classes: Also includes Rumba, Sal Cha & Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or without weights.Your Heart, Your Life, Your Choice. Almeria to Estepona. Hugh Grant 606086300 hughgrant@tiscali.co.uk The "El Valle Asociacion" Based around the Lake Vinuela & surrounding areas. Meets on the first Monday of the month at 7.30pm at the Camping Bar on the side of Lake Vinuela (A356). The club organises events,trips and social functions. For further details and timings check the web site. www.el-valle.org. Colmenar District Social Club meet on Wednesdays at the Arco de Sol in Colmenar from 12.30, all are welcome. We have quizzes quest speakers and regular trips and events. Contact Marjorie on 951 163 071 Nerja History Group meets on the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information, contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405 jill.christiansmith.gmail.com Acoustic Roots: Friday 9th Museo del Vino, Competa. Call 952 553314 for a table or just come along for a drink. Saturday 17th: St Patricks day celebrations at the Alberdini in Competa. Call 952 516294 for a table or just come along for a drink. aBC DaNCiNg. Learn to ballroom dance with "Dancing Dave". It's as easy as ABC. Why not come along and keep fit whilst making new friends? Now available at several different venues. Ring Dave for further details on 952 531 259 / 617 863 193. Vinuela Ecological Farmers Market Opp. the Pharmacy. 1st & 3rd Sat each month. 10.3014.30. Fresh Handmade organic produce. Fruit & Veg, Cakes, Chutney & Jams, Sweets, Tarts, Bread, Pasta & Fresh Sauces, Mustards, Olive Pate, Natural Soap, Fertilizer, etc. FHT Therapists meeting in March will be held on Weds 28th, 7.30pm, Camping Bar Restaurant, Vinuela when Madison King will give a fun packed hour under the heading “For STRESS read FUN”. If we support the view that 99.99% of our diseases are caused by, or exacerbated by stress - doesn't it make sense to learn a few simple tools to help you reduce your body's response to the stressors in your life? This will be packed with valuable, practical information

that you can use for the rest of your life. All are welcome to join us. For further information contact jennywright04@gmail.com Tel: 951 321 613 or 633 75 99 88 or jeanlaguita@hotmail.com 619 978 890. There will be a Healing Fair at El Trapiche Restaurant on Saturday April 28th 11am -6pm. A new outdoor market is held at the same venue so there should be something for all the family with Holistic Therapists/ treatments, products for your health and spiritual gift ideas. CAS Events March 6th Charity Quiz in aid of CAS at the M T Bar, Punta Lara, Nerja. Question master Mick Stevens. Entrance 3€. Food available. Starts 8.00pm. To book, call Mick on 671 447 397 or Terry on 652 430 383. 15th CAS Quiz Night at Sabor de Amor Restaurant, Playa Burriana, Nerja. Question master Dave Jamieson. Entrance 3€. Quiz starts 9.00pm. Food available beforehand. Book direct with Sabor de Amor on 626 354 183. 26th Bingo Night at the Coach and Horses, calle Almirante Ferrándiz (Post Office street), Nerja. 8.00pm. Entrance 5€ includes supper. Please book at the CAS office (95 252 3607). Sponsored Charity Walk – 11.30am, Sat 17th March Frigliana to Nerja including paella lunch. De Cotta Law, the firm of Spanish Abogados and English Solicitors dedicated to the international community in Nerja, is sponsoring a Charity Sponsored Walk this month. •The Walk will be on Sat 17th March, and will be in aid of: •Cudeca Foundation, the Cancer Hospice on the Costa del Sol •St Michael’s Anglican Church Roof Fund (Iglesia de San Miguel) in Plaza Andalucía •The Nerja Donkey Sanctuary. The walk starts at 11.30am at Virtudes Bar Café at the entrance to Frigliana’s Old Town.The 2 ½ to 3 hour walk is downhill and will end at the cobbled bridge at the entrance to Rio Chillar (near the Supersol Supermarket), followed by a Paella lunch at Merendero Pepe Mesa on Playa Playazo complete with charity raffle. (For those not wishing to complete the walk may join the group for the final stroll to the restaurant.) To take part, and receive a sponsorship form, please contact Naomi or Helene at De Cotta Law’s new offices at number 11, Calle Diputación, a few minutes from the Balcon. Each entrant makes a 10€ charity donation that includes lunch. Walkers that get more than 50€ in sponsorship will not need to make the donation. De Cotta Law, Calle Diputación 11, 29780 Nerja. Tel.: +34 952 527 014 Fax: +34 952 523 428 nerja@decottalaw.net

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Mind, Body & Spirit Mind over matter? Recently, the media has been heralding what it describes as a major scientific breakthrough: mind-reading! Researchers have developed highly sophisticated computer software which, when connected to the brain via myriad electrodes attached to the temples, can “decode” the subject’s invisible thoughts into words - and even sentences - and display them in written form on the computer screen. Remarkable, yes? But hold on a moment. This is actually what certain people have been doing for thousands of years - only without all the expensive gadgetry. Call them intuitives, psychics, clairvoyants, mind-readers or whatever; they have all quietly been getting on with the job of helping people get in touch with the deeper layers of knowledge in their psyche. Indeed, many “ordinary” people have had the experience too. How often do we hear ourselves or someone else say: “You must have read my mind.” In my own healing work, I frequently find that I enter into a telepathic communication with the client, in which questions and answers are exchanged wordlessly. Reading the double-page “splurge” with its sensational banner headlines, I was reminded of a lecture I attended decades ago whilst at university. The lecturer had just returned from Greenland, where he and his team had been studying whale communication and had documented the entire expedition on film. It had been a major logistical operation, hauling bulky but delicate equipment over miles of frozen snow, drilling through thick layers of ice to immerse their super-sensitive microphones, then getting the sophisticated amplifiers and recorders to function in Arctic temperatures. Finally, after many technical failures and glitches, came the climactic moment when, over the headphones, they heard the faint sounds of a whale coming from the icy

depths below them. Triumphantly, the team leader handed the headphones to one of the Eskimo hunters who had been assisting them. He listened for a moment, nodded and smiled in recognition, then picked up his kayak paddle and dipped one end into the water and held the other end against the leader’s skull just below his ear. The leader’s face fell in amazement as he heard the same whale sounds, simply transmitted through a thin wooden pole! Mainstream institutional science steadfastly denies the validity of such phenomena as psychic reading, whether of present thoughts, past “buried” information or of possible future events, despite such abilities having been empirically verified in countless credible studies and reports. The continual refrain issuing from the ivory towers of scientific academia is that there is no known mechanism, energy or force which they can identify or measure which could possibly explain such phenomena; therefore they must be false or imaginary fantasies. But actually there is. In Russia particularly, but all over the world, independent scientists have proved the existence of something that has come to be called the “Source Field”. This field pervades absolutely everything in the universe - in fact it appears to be the primordial ‘stuff” or energy from which the physical universe emanates. And it includes and connects all life forms within its compass. Read more about the “Source Field” next month! Finally, I'm pleased to announce the recent launch of my radio show: "Open hearts & minds" bringing you all the latest from the world of alternative health and healing, and leading-edge discoveries in new-age science and spirituality. Airing every Tuesday & Thursday from 8-11pm on Talk Radio Europe. Tune in anywhere on 89.9fm or listen live online at www.talkradioeurope.com. Please refer to my website at www.richardwaterborn.com email: rwaterborn@eircom.net or see his advert below:

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Royal British Legion Torre del Mar: We meet every Wed between 12-2pm at the La Vega Rest. next to Mercadona supermarket in Torre Del Mar. All ages welcome, various activities held at the weekly meetings. March Events: 14th Monthly 3-course lunch at the Meeting Place in Torre Del Mar, 7.50€ per person. Bookings now being taken, 29th A trip to Gibraltar. Timed to go just a week before Easter. Departing as usual from Hotel Romero at 06.30 calling at El Cruce 06.45, Algarrobo Lidl 07.00 and Torre Del Mar bus station 07.10. Bookings for this trip now being taken, 30th Sounds of the 60's & 70's. A tribute to Neil Diamond and other artists of the 60's & 70's performed by Alan Miles. El Trapiche 7pm for 7.30pm.There is a three course menu for an astounding price of 11€ for members and 12€ for non members. Bookings now being taken You do not have to be a member to come to any of our events. Visit our web site at: www.rbl-torredelmar.org.uk RBL - Los Romanes Branch We are still a branch of the Royal British Legion. We meet every Tuesday from 12.00 noon until 2.00 pm. at The Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. On the first Tuesday of every month we have menu del dia at the restaurant. Please feel free to come and join us any time, you do not have to be a member. For social contact Lorraine on 952510203. For other contact Margaret on 951 167 600. Visit our web site on www.rbllosromanes.org.uk Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda. Moscatel 1”I”,(Gardens of Viña Malaga/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre Del Mar. Opening hours Monday - Friday 10.00am-1.00pm and 3.00pm-6.00pm. Tel. 952 543 334 / 952 540 432, luxmundi@lux-mundi.org. Daily Events Mon – Fri Spanish Lessons, Beginners, Intermediate, Advanced. 10.00am – 12.30pm, Mon

& Fri Computer Know How, come and learn. 11.00am – 1.00pm, Mon Half Orange, widows, widowers, and singles Group, Mon German Group. Coffee & Library 3.00pm – 5.00pm, Tuesday Musical Appreciation Group. Sessions are focused on a composer or period of classical music. 3.00pm – 5.00pm, Wed Art Group, improve your technique. 3.00pm – 5.00pm, Thurs Darts. 6.00pm for 6.30pm, Fri coffee morning. Refreshments, boutique, brica-brac, preserves, library, books for sale. 11.00am – 1.00pm, Keep Fit 11.30 - 12.30am. For info & bookings Tel. 952 543 334 or 952 540 432. U3A El Morche is a registered organisation which runs a variety of learning groups. These currently include debating, singing, book club, petanque, quizzing, walking, photography, meditation, craft, table tennis & more. Each subject has a leader and group members share their knowledge & experiences. We have members from Rincon de la Victoria-La Heradura and inland to Periana & Competa. We meet at a variety of locations in a friendly & relaxed atmosphere. Would you like to know more? Can you offer knowledge and experience for an existing or new group? Visit our website for more details. We look forward to hearing from you. www.u3aelmorche.wordpress.com reel Jiggers Barn Dance, El Cruce 8 til 10.30, free entry, April 20th. Email: chriscoates129@hotmail.com Louise Beauty & Boutique, Friday 30th March, 2012 Spring/Summer launch party to be held at the boutique. Five new collections from Adini, Pomodoro, Amari, Marble & Capri. Open from 10am - 6pm. Complimentary drink & canapes served all day. We are located on the Alcaucin/Periana side of Lake Vinuela. Turn right at the Periana crossroads towards Venta Baja, we are 70m down on the right hand side. 951 167 181 / 680 855 030 Mother & Toddler Group at Torre Montessori Nursery in C/Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar on Wednesday from 10.30 - 12.30pm tel: 633 637 774

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What’s O n? Trapiche Social Club meet every Wednesday from 12 noon - 2pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, Social Activities include card games, skittles, dominoes and occasionally free bingo. Everyone is welcome to join us members and visitors. March events 7th social meeting & Monthly Lunch, 14th social meeting, 21st social meeting, 23rd Quiz Night with Roger, 28th social meeting. advance News April 20th visit to Alhambra or Granada City booking now. Aug 15th Almunecar Fireworks an evening of spectacular fireworks on the beach please book early. Sept 18th-20th 2 nights 3 days visit to Donana National Park. If you are interested in any function, please visit us at El Trapiche on Wednesdays between 12.00 & 2.00, or call our dedicated booking line 680 764 130 email: trapiche_social_club@yahoo.co.uk Lake Vinuela Social Club We meet every Thurs from midday until approx 2.30 at the Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet new like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations, also a monthly lunch at various restaurants in the area. Our aim is to enjoy ourselves and to raise monies for various local and international charities and organisations. Call: 636 203 135 RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment & monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, & we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 www.britishlegion.org.uk/branches/benajarafe Benajarafe International Social Club meet every Monday at 2.30pm at the Esperanza Cafe/Restaurant which is on the coast road at Km 261 in Benajarafe. We are a registered charity raising funds for H4H and another charity of the member's choice. For further details contact Heather on 634979565. March events 2nd Gibraltar, 9th Salon Varieties (The Rat Pack), 24th Salon Varieties (The Sound of Music). Golfnutz meet every Wednesday at Santa Clara (Otura, Granada) for golf banter, all abilities welcome. Sense of humour essential. So if you need a change in 2011 then give us a call. Call 617 979 640 or caddy master on

858 702 800. APARIV - March 9th quiz night to raise money for APARIV Animal protection Society with prizes, raffles and food available at Los Morenos Restaurant in Rincon de la Victoria at 8pm. For further information call Stephen 952 514 67, March 21st Sands & C in Torrox Costa at 7:30 pm. For further information call 952 967734, March 30th Bar Viva in Torre del Mar 8pm. For further information call Stephen 952 514671 Come Dancing For Cudeca - Next dance 24th March at El Trapiche 7pm for 7.30, usual mix of social dancing and supper choice of fish or chicken for only 10€. All proceeds from the raffle go to Cudeca’s hospice. Money raised so far 6,150€ donations of raffle prize very welcome. For more info contact Joyce on: jjmunns@gmail.com or 699 156 471

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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English Services at inglesia de San Miquel (St, Michael's Church) every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May) and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol). There is a short service of Holy Communion Wednesday's at 9.30am in the Church Shop, Calle Malaga, Nerja. Details of how to find the churches are also available in the Church Shop. Priest in Charge: Father Geoff Johnston Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460. Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 Torre del Mar - Torre Del Mar - Sanysol Residencia, Sundays 10.30am. Tel 952 219 396 anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña). roman Catholic - Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer) Evangelical - Torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: www.torredelmarchurch.org Torrox Park Community Church meet at 11am on Thursday for coffee and discussion on current topics. This is an informal meeting for everyone to join in. At Tapricho Tapas bar (opposite El Pino camping), Torrox park. more info: Minister J. hartsmith foy, Tel: 952 532 825 or www.torroxparkchurch.org. Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship 3-5pm. Midweek activities - Pilates - Tues midday-1pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Art group Thurs 3-5pm, Charity shop/books open Wednesday Thurs, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm, Bridge Club Friday 2.15pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel. Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Torre del Mar Evangelical Church (Part of the Spanish Evangelical Church in partnership with Presbyterian Church Ireland) Sunday service in English 11.30am. Picasso Room Hotel Torremar off Paseo Larios Torre del Mar Minister Rev. J. Hartsmith Foy Telephone 952 532 825 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. Taxis Torre: 952 540 016, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104

tion

Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa Thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe Sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 952 352 300 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Palma de Mallorca, 57 Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Telefonica

Informa

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airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 Town halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 iTV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm

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) : a h a h s e k o J Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit-man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute! That's my neighbour in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The ****!" He turned to the hit-man, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand euros every time I pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d**k off to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hit-man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....." ------------------------------------------------------------Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, ”Dad, what’s love juice?” Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says,”So what were you watchin’?” Billy says,”Wimbledon.” ------------------------------------------------------------Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. " She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for £200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened She responded, "The b****** used coins!" ------------------------------------------------------------A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.' He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.' The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?' The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

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Jokes h a h a :) A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the A-7. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got â&#x201A;Ź9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's â&#x201A;Ź1,000 an inch." The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision." The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have," says the man. "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor. "We're having granite worktops." ------------------------------------------------------------David Cameron goes to a science exhibition and is shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. The man in charge invites him to ask any question he likes. Cameron asks "What will Australia be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives a printout, which the man reads: "The country is in good hands under the new Prime Minister, crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy.

There are no worries." He has another go "What will China be like in 100 years time?" Another print out: "The country will be the world's leading economy and everyone there will enjoy the highest standard of living in the world" Cameron then asks "What will Great Britain be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action. The man gets a printout, but he just stares at it. "Come on", says Cameron "What does it say?" The man replies, "Buggered if I know! It's all in Arabic!" ------------------------------------------------------------A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech... At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for.' ------------------------------------------------------------A worrying thought for 2012! 10 years ago Bob Hope died 5 years ago Johnny Cash died A couple of months ago Steve Jobs died A few weeks ago Jimmy Saville died. Now we have no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs and nobody left to Fix It Let's hope nothing happens to Ed Balls! ------------------------------------------------------------A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

1. Which actor was born Bernard Schwartz? 2. What is a brown turkey?

Hey Diddle Riddle

1) I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I? 2) What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?

3. What is the colour of young cognac? 4. To which clan did Rob Roy belong?

3) There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?

5. What is the unit of currency in China? 6. What is snoek? 7. On poker dice what colour is the queen? 8. What is hard sauce better known as? 9. What does Stargazey pie contain?

4) Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.

10. What were Blackcat, Target and Turf?

5) Rearrange the letters of the word "NEW DOOR" to make it one word.

11. Malabar Black is a prized variety of what?

6) Look at a digital clock. How many times will the clock show 3 or more consecutive numbers?

12. The name of which drink means Little water? Answers on page 113

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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111

Puzzle P ages

Crossword across

Down

1 Man (according to Desmond Morris) (5,3)

1 Fleet (4) 2 Proverbial place of uncomfortable heat (7) 3 Ensure there is no mistake about meaning — misguide a bat (anag) (12) 4 request (maybe to god) (6) 6 Permission — time off (5) 7 Track for walkers (8) 8 Fairly large or numerous (12) 12 Piece of blunt criticism (8) 15 To sum up (2,5) 16 Line showing points of equal barometric pressure (6) 18 Fashion reminiscent of the past (5) 19 whirlpool (4)

5 Sign of pitch (4) 9 Saint (with a pathological dance) (5) 10 alligator pear (7) 11 One to keep the home fires burning? (7,5) 13 No longer fresh (6) 14 Someone who’s hooked? (6) 17 Confine within limited range (12) 20 Object used for washing bodies (7) 21 window screen (5) 22 System of weights for precious metals and gemstones (4) 23 aphid(s) (8)

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s n g i S r Sta Mystic Mag packs her postal bag to deliver her March readings to The Sentinella readers… Capricorn – The early bird gets the worm and what’s even better is this worm is longer, fatter and more succulent than the rest. Lucky sign – Soil aquarius – Some people like to run us down or make us feel inferior. Don’t let this happen to you. KNOW you are special and important and tell the loser to get lost! Lucky sign – Pokey out tongue Pisces – Shopping is not your favourite pastime but when your jeans have holes and your shoes are scuffed, it’s about time you hit the sales! Lucky sign – Big spender aries – You need a holiday. Swimming in the sea, bathing in the sun, feeling the sand between your toes and immersing in relaxation and bliss, seems like a million miles away, but take a step closer and get down the travel agents. Lucky sign – Flip flops

that old rubbish which has accumulated. Then watch new and amazing things happen in your life. Lucky sign – Adventure Cancer – You are feeling green. Not in the sick sense, but rather you are developing a sense of care and protection for the environment. Lead your friends by example. Lucky sign – Recycling bins with no tops Leo – Woah, giddy up! You need to learn horse riding. Lucky sign – A saddle Virgo – Stop chasing rainbows and start seeking the sun. It’s the sun that gives life after all, the rainbows just look good. Lucky sign – Fire Libra – Where there’s a will there’s a way, so focus on these ‘wheels’ so long as you don’t roll away on them… Lucky sign – Brakes Scorpio – Change is occurring and the stars are looking a lot brighter than they have of late. Very special. Lucky sign – Steering wheel of life

Taurus – You are thinking of taking up writing, largely because you’re bored and looking for something to fill your time. Start with simple prose and forget the trimmings. Lucky sign – Helicopters (the insects)

Sagittarius – Itchy feet? Then soak them in a warm bath drowned in essential oils and use one of those foot buffer things on the hard skin. Lucky sign – No itch

gemini – De-clutter your vida! Empty your cupboards, dust your surfaces and throw out all

And if it is your birthday this month be as mad as a March Hare!

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Largest Sports Stadiums in the World by Capacity... 1. Rungnado May Day Stadium (150,000) Pyongyang, North Korea 2. Salt Lake Stadium (120,000) Salt Lake City, India

10,9

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Top Tens ,8, 7,6, 5 ,4,3 ,2, 1 ,

3. Estadio Azteca (114,465) Mexico City, Mexico

Longest Rivers in Europe

4. Michigan Stadium (107,501) Michigan, USA

1. Volga 2,294 miles

5. Beaver Stadium (107,282) Pennsylvania, USA

2. Danube 1,777 miles

6. Jornalista Mario Filho (103,045) Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

3. Ural 1,509 miles

7. Ohio Stadium (102,329) Ohio, USA

4. Dnieper 1,423 miles

8. Neyland Stadium (102,037) Tennessee, USA

5. Don 1,212 miles

9. National Stadium Bukit Jalil (100,200) Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia

6. Dniester 846 miles

10. Melbourne Cricket Ground (100,000) Melbourne, Australia

7. Rhine 820 miles

10. Bung Karno Stadium (100,000) Jakarta, Indonesia

8. Elbe 678 miles

10. Azadi Stadium (100,000) Tehran, Iran

9. Vistula 651 miles

10. Jawaharlal Stadium (100,000) Delhi, India

10. Daugava 634 miles

get Quizical answers 1. Tony Curtis, 2. A fig tree, 3. Clear, 4. Macgregor, 5. Yuan, 6. A fish, 7. Green, 8. Brandy Butter, 9. Pilchards, 10. Cigarettes, 11. Pepper, 12. Vodka riddle Diddle answers 1. The letter ‘e’. End, timE, spacE, Every placE, 2. A river, 3. A watermelon, 4. It states, "There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word?" The third word of that phrase is of course "language.", 5. One word, 6. 34. (1:11am, 2:22am, 3:33am, 4:44am, 5:55am, 10:00am, 11:10am, 11:11am, 11:12am, 11:13am, 11:14am, 11:15am, 11:16am, 11:17am, 11:18am, 11:19am, 12:22am, 1:11pm, 2:22pm, 3:33pm, 4:44pm, 5:55pm, 10:00pm, 11:10pm, 11:11pm, 11:12pm, 11:13pm, 11:14pm, 11:15pm, 11:16pm, 11:17pm, 11:18pm, 11:19pm, 12:22pm)

Last Month’s Crossword answers

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r e d a r The T E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a boxed 8 nth. 15€ for 7th of the mocall: 664 210 46 r o s d r 1 o r e w o th 8 th before e mon um of 2 maxim nt to be made efore 17th of th a r fo 3€ Payme tinella.com b n s@these mail sale

Cars or Sale / Wanted

Properties For Sale/Rent (Cont.)

rENaULT CLiO, 1996, ITV till 11/12, A/C, lot of new parts (cooler, brakes, tyres, front screen, tooth belt, v-belt etc.) 1.100€, call 606 423 869

aParTMENT iN BaViEra gOLF, south facing, master bedroom with dressing room and terrace, 2 further bedrooms, independent terrace, large dining/kitchen, garage and communal pool, near the beach and golf course. 5 mins to Torre del Mar. Sale - 180,000€ Call: 627 625 624 Email: kochelengue@hotmail.com

CaraVaN SwiFT DOUBLETTE 1998. cris registered. 4 berth. Very good condition. Separate bathroom. €4200 o.v.n.o. Phone Julian 665 251 368. Contact with email for viewing/photos riEJU 125CC TOwN & TraiL MOTOrCyCLE, 4 stroke, quiet, only 3,500 kms, as new, ideal for exploring country tracks. €1,000 o.n.o - px for suitable scooter. 651 312 562 (Maro). FOrD MONEDO 1998, years ITV, LHD.Sp. reg, very reliable car, ready mid March. 1,000€ ring Jean 952 550 041 Moselo kawasaki Ninja 636 ZX-6r, 2004,11,400km, spanish plates 3,800€ Tel: 627 625 624 renault Megane 2001 One owner, ITV, good condition 2,000€ O.N.O Tel: 634 246 766 634 246 789

Properties For Sale/Rent aParTMENT FOr SaLE - EL MOrChE 1 Bed, 1 bath apartment is situated just 2 mins away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. With separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. Ideal starter home or holiday home. 115,000€ Call: 610 976 284

FOr rENT 2 BED MOBiLE hOME in peaceful rural location nr Los Romanes. Excellent views. Good access. Mains water & electric. €250 pm inc. Tel: 660 708 441 grEaTLy rEDUCED FOr SaLE Townhouse for sale. Charming town house in Riogordo. 3 bed, lounge with log burner, fitted kitchen/diner, terrace, parking. Reduced to €99,990. Tel 606 734 012 BraND NEw LargE 4 BEDrOOM, TOwNhOUSE 3 bathroom, with garden and garage for sale or rent in Riogordo. €195,000 to buy €550 PCM to rent. More details and photos www.riogordohouse.com. Tel: 676 851 135 email info@riogordohouse.com SaLE Or rENT Or rENT TO BUy OPTiON 2 storey bungalow located 5 mins from Velez Malaga and 2 mins from golf course. Situated in an enclosed area with communal pool, 3 beds, 1 bath, kitchen, porch, parking & barbeque. For Sale 76,000€ Call: 627 625 624 kochelengue@hotmail.com SaLE Or rENT Or rENT TO BUy OPTiON Apartment in Mezquitilla front line to beach, ground floor with patio, kitchen, large lounge, beds, 2 baths just a short walk from the beach. For Sale - 145,000€ For Rent - 400€ per month. Call: 627 625 624 kochelengue@hotmail.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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3€ for a maximu m of 28 Pay wo Email: s ales@th ment to be ma rds or 15€ for esentine d e lla.com e before the 17nquire about b before 1 o 5th of thth of the month xed adverts e month . or call: 6 64 210 4 68

Properti es

Properties For Sale/Rent

VILLA FOR SALE CALETA Charming secluded villa overlooking the bay of Torre del Mar Consisting of 2 large bedrooms, spacious lounge, kitchen and bathroom. Self contained one bed apartment overlooking swimming pool. Fully modernised with double glazing, aircon and wood burning cassette. Garage and large offroad parking area. Reduced Price 375,000€ Tel: 952 550 628 / 678 490 331 or email philbme@hotmail.com hOUSE FOr SaLE in Velez Malaga.137sq. 69sq of open plan lounge diner and kitchen. 2 double bedrooms 2 bathrooms (one en suite bathroom). Each bedroom has a terrace. Roof terrace with views of Velez. Air con and log burner. Street parking. 5 mins from townhall. 179.000€ Call 615 266 712 FLaT, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. €159.000, tlf: 606 764 539. Ready to move in.

ViNUELa arEa, FiNCa, 3/4 beds, large living room, kitchen, 2 baths, very good condition, many fruit trees. Income of 3/4000€’s. 249,000. Ring: 662 260 449 LaND FOr SaLE, 2100sqm, Fantastic views of Maroma, suitable for caravan, concrete track, Elec/water on plot. 25,000€ 693 269 766 NErJa - Newly renovated house for sale, 3 beds, 2 baths, community pool, parking. 200,000€ Call: 635 119 078 FOr rENT iN riOgOrDO Charming townhouse, 3 bed, fully furnished, kitchen/diner, lounge with log burner, Sat tv, telephone, terrace, parking, 2 mins to centre. €300 pcm. Tel: 606 734 012

Front-line apartment for long-term rent in Algarrobo Costa. 1 bed, fully furnished sea views, communal pool & tennis courts.

350€ per month

Call: 639 12 07 07 CUTar SMaLL ViLLagE hOUSE, 1/2 beds, kitchen, diner, bathroom, living room, store room. A little gem, including furniture 49,000€. Ring: 662 260 449

Wanted Properties/Land WaNTED DETaChED - OLDEr hOUSE with approx. 1.000m2 of land, first beach line. Alternatively, plot with building permission, first beach line. Offers to kramer.spain@gmail.com

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r e d a r The T

photo. ert inc. v d a d e r box nth. 68 r 15€ fo17th of the mocall: 664 210 4 o s d r o of 28 w onth or fore the aximum be made be re 17th of the m m a r 3€ fo Payment to a.com befo nell thesenti @ s le sa Email

Items For Sale

Wanted

SECOND haND aMEriCaN hOT TUB for sale, 5 seater, excellent condition, with instructions, installed but never used. 2,500€ o.n.o. Call: 952 550 323 / 616 119 007 Transportation can be arranged at extra cost.

i wiLL COLLECT FrEE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui

BUNk BEDS wiTh MaTrESSES, very good condition 75€, Ring: 662 260 449 20” Or 51CM SaMSUNg TV, 28” Or 75CM BUSh TV, 12” Or 30CM BUSh TV wiTh DVD aND CD, all 3 for 80€ Call: 952 556 709 For sale: Used pedicure chair - stool and spa included. Was 250€ now only 99€ o.n.o. Interested? Please contact Jennie at the abc nailstore Nerja: 952 525 289

aNTiQUE PiNE DrESSEr base, 3 cupboards and 3 drawers above, top has two glass fronted cabinets with lights, middle part open for display items. 200€ ring Jean 952 550 041 SiNgLE ELECTriCaLy OPEraTED BED with top quality memory foam mattress. Used 3 times, as new 600€. Los Romanes area would consider selling base separately. Call: 655 542 064

Jobs waNTED - An autonomous beautician experienced in providing the following treatments: waxing, facials, eye lash enhancements, eyebrow tinting, head/body massage, spray tan, bridal make-up, male grooming. A great deal awaits the right person! If you would like to know more please ring the abc nailstore, Nerja: 952 525 289. MariCh’ Language School is looking for a nice & experienced ENGLISH NATIVE SPEAKER TEACHER to teach English to adults/juniors ca. 8 hrs monthly. Info: Azucena 633-78-06-87 info@academiamarich.com Chair FOr rENT in busy Almunecar salon for Self Employed Hairdresser - Telephone 958 883 106

Sell your unwanted items for just 3 euros a month - Lineage ads 28 words Or box it for 15 euros. Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Busines s

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We can Call tod list your Busin ay on 66 es 4 210 4 s here from ju 68 or E st mail: sa 5 euros a mo les@the sentinell nth!! a.com

ACCOMMODATION wEscuela La Crujia rural B&B/guesthouse in a pretty converted schoolbuilding. 5 minutes from VelezMalaga. Tel. 606 010 580. Email: escuelalacrujia@gmail.com

AIR CONDITIONING w For air Conditioning call Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w For reliable and honest servicing, Repairs, ReGas and Installations of A/C & Pool Heating at competitive rates by a qualified Technician. Call â&#x20AC;&#x153;Polarair â&#x20AC;&#x153; Tel: Susie or Peter on 655211192 / 658418093 wChS Cooling and heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Call: 655 791 167 or Email: chsspain@gmail.com

ARTIFICIAL GRASS waxarverde Maintenance free. Looks like real grass. Enviroment, child and pet friendly. Always green. Suitable for every surface. Call: 619 317 211 or visit our website: www.axarverde.com

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE wLouise Beauty & Boutique, The Alcaucin side of Lake Vinuela Call: 951 167 181 or 680 855 030

BLINDS wSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep

Director y

the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. solarblinds.es@gmail.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

BUILDERS wall types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wreformers Terence Mitchell - Renovations & Refurbishments. Professional builders with over 20 years experience. Tiling, painting, plumbing, electricity. Free advice, no obligations. Tel: 664 459 868. terryseatonreformas@hotmail.com www.facebook.com/terryseatonreformas wJohn housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. Email: rosemary.housby@gmail.com wr&D Construction and Maintenance Services, with over 30 years experience, English plastering, reforms, plumbing, electrics, walls, tiling and painting, all aspects of building work, property maintenance and management. Call Robert 619 232 025 or David 622 379 413 email, rd.construction@yahoo.com

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Business Listing BUILDERS (cont) wLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application and construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 info@ltconstruction.es www.ltconstruction.es wNick Turner refurbs All aspects of building work undertaken. Mobile: 679 113 600 Telephone: 952 553 124 Email: nick.turner@objectpower.net www.nickturnerrefurbs.com

CAR ACCESSORIES wwindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal & certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect Children & pets. Be Cool. Enjoy the sun don't suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176/ 644 546 176

Advertise your business here From 5 euros per month Call: 664 210 468 CARS WANTED wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way car & van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARERS wNerja Nurses, Professional Nurses, Reliable - Affordable - Local Quality Care. NHS Qualified & Trained - 25 years experience in ALL types of care. Tel: 628 793 413 or 952 030 713 Email: nerjacarers@gmail.com

CARPENTERS wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: rodgersfamilyinspain@yahoo.co.uk

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

wCarpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Roy on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669.

CHIROPODISTS wregisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715 wregistered Chiropodist/Nurse of 20 years. New in Velez Malaga. Offers the following services:- Foot and hand care (diabetic, veruccas, fungus nails, ingrown toenails). Also home visits. Post hospital aftercare including physio. Call Teresa: 695 243 238

CHIROPRACTIC CARE wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday and Friday from 10.00 to 14.00 and by appointment. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email: druphil@yahoo.fr

CLEANING wDone & Dusted, for all your cleaning requirements, for your home, holiday rentals, cleaning during your holiday stay, pool cleans, general maintenance, repairs and gardening. Competitive rates. Call Juliet 692 437 039 Deb 622 863 255 Dave 622 379 413 or Rob 619 232 025 Email: done.dusted@ymail.com wFiona’s Cleaning Services. Spring Cleans, Regular House Cleans, Holiday Rental Cleans, And End Of Lease Cleans. We Love The Jobs You Hate! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED! Phone: 687 285 275 Email: fionascleaning@hotmail.com

COMPUTERS wPCTorrox.com All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas. Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50€. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259. wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976.

DAMP CONTROL wProfessional control of all rising and penetrating dampness in your home, including leaking terraces etc. Long term solutions and cures for any damp problem at affordable prices, please ring:

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

119

Business Listing DAMP CONTROL (cont) 666 991 041 for further advice and free survey without obligation.

DANCE CLASSES wargentine Tango Beginners Dance Classes. Monday from 20:00 at Casa Paco, c/Puente don Manuel. Wednesday from 20:00 at Casa de la Cultura, Calle Pescaderia, Colmenar. Price €7. Tel: 622560968. http://www.tangocostadelsol.wordpress.com

DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel. 951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. www.ianpettdentalcare.com wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com

DOG GROOMING wThe Dog Shop, Professional grooming salon. All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park. www.thedogshoptorrox.com

DRAIN CLEARANCE wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030

DRESSMAKERS wDressmaker/Seamstress, with over 20 years experience. High quality, reliable service for alterations, soft furnishings and dressmaking. Call Elaine on 629 610 919. Located Puente Don Manuel/Periana area. Very reasonable rates. No job too small. w Leila Pearce (Bachelor Of arts) Dressmaker, repairs and alterations. Home furnishings, made to measure sofa covers, 15 years experience. Puente don Manuel 622 105 809

ELECTRICIANS

wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting and Power/Electric gates and Intercoms/Pool and water Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades. Over 40 years exp. Tel Stefan 610 048 919 electrocutester@gmail.com wElectrician - Lakeside Property Services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber. Call David on: 627 931 357 wat your Service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop. Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience. Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email: casaflores45@yahoo.es wElectrician - All jobs from a socket to rewires, Fault Finding and Intercom Systems. Call Andrew 618 640 155 Email: amarnold11@hotmail.com

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS wSpanish Management Puente Don Manuel, Alcaucin (next to Morenos Bar) 666 135 516 or 650 702 258 Web: www.spanishmanagement.com Email: officespanishmanagement@yahoo.co.uk

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE wab ax Properties 650 193 777 Website: www.abaxproperties.com wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, www.fleming-properties.com waxarquia Properties S.LCall; 626 038 851 or 952 436 781www.axarquiaproperties.com Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com wBuy a home Spain/rent a home Spain, Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

FASHION wukfashioninspain.com Wholesalers, manufacturers & designers of premier British fashion labels. Tel: 966 191 560 / Mob: 676 059 997 Email: info@ukfashioninspain.com

FURNITURE wLargest range of furniture on the Costas. Guaranteed lowest prices. Quality furniture from the UK. www.nerjasofas.es

Advertise in the Directory From 5 euros per month

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Business Listing FURNITURE (Continued) wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) Mon-Fri 10.00-13.30 and 17.30-19.30. Saturdays 10.00-13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564

GARDENING SERVICES wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373 wPool and garden maintenance. Good rates Call Keith 952 554 514 / 674 526 968 wStrimming & Spraying - Major cutting back or simple pruning, fertilizing and feeding, land clearance, weed killer and pest spraying, general maintenance. Call Darren on 622 234 746

GREETINGS CARDS wTarjetas. Rosemary George. For all occasions, English & Spanish. Organic, Handmade & much more Supplying to shops, bars, clubs & individuals. Telephone: 617 979 640 Email: algomas4u@googlemail.com

HAIRDRESSING wSusanna's Mobile hairdressing Services. National Beauty Institute (UK) trained. Please telephone 693 384 270 or 0044 844 3089078

HEALTH & BEAUTY wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 beasav@terra.es (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English. Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info. Email: candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es

HEATING wredwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside. Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742, sscharler@gmx.de, www.redwell.com wChS Cooling and heating Solutions. Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Also air conditioning servicing and installations. Call: 655 791 167

or email: chsspain@gmail.com

HOLIDAY LETS wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. 627820669 www.villaslet.com 958364016

HOME HELP whome help Solutions Mature Spanish-speaking English woman provides services for all household chores. Also interpreting for medical appointments, etc. References available. 951 167 643 or 608 969 625

HORSE RIDING walcaucín horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Sat 10am start. Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website: www.horseshoeranchspain.webs.com

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel Second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907 wCash paid. For House and Garage Clearance. Best prices. Get quote. All items considered. Ring Martin 960 854 154 or 616 812 765.

INTERNET SERVICES wriosat:SL, High speed internet and telephone services for home, business, offices, hotels, bars and restaurants etc. SDSL & ADSL packages available. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: info@riosat.com Web: http// www.riosat.com wBroadband 4spain.com - 951 239 888 Avenida Torrox 1, Competa (near Eloys bar).

INTERPRETERS winterpreter - English/Spanish - based in VélezMálaga. English nationality, but fluent Spanish and extensive experience. Inexpensive hourly rates. Confidentiality guaranteed. Call Toni to discuss your requirements. 952557733 / 606010580

IRONWORK wwrought iron gates and bars made to order also repairs and painting onsite welding please call Steve for a quote on 633337619

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing JET SPRAYING wrejuvenate your outside space. High pressure cleaning for patios and swimming pool surrounds. Free demonstration available. Call Darren on 622 234 746

KENNELS AND CATTERIES wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs. Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or www.wagtails.es wThe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Email:philipclayton_1@msn.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. whome From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com. Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses. wLas Nenas kennels, the best east of Malaga, we care about the dogs, long walks 3 times daily. Try us, you will not regret. Bente and Jorgen 646 271 895

LAWYERS wCarmen Silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: carmensilviaabogados@gmail.com winternational Law Solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, tel/fax: 952 527 831 or 615 338 075, Email: info.ils@hotmail.com

LOCKSMITHS wLocksmith - All types of locks supplied and fitted. Also Rejas supplied & fitted to your requirments. Call Sid on 658 347463 for a quick & reliable service

MACHINE HIRE wSaxon SL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga. Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72

MAINTENANCE wreforms, Kitchens and bathrooms to new windows

and doors, electrical installation with bulletins, ICP, anti-surge to fault finding, air con and stair lifts. Call: 609 931 224 wMaintenance person experienced in plumbing, tiling, painting and general maintenance of buildings. Portfolio of previous work carried out available. Friendly, reliable and reasonable rates. No job to small. Los Romanes and surrounding area. Tel: 618 496 266 or email: vramsell@aol.com.

MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to cullimores@hotmail.com. Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery.

MECHANICS wFully Qualified City & guilds Mechanic, Servicing, Camshaft drive belt and much more. ITVs and ITV work carried out. Call: 696 578 771 or email: themechanicvinuela@yahoo.com

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, EspaĂąol, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo MarĂtimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, www.centromarysalud.com

METALWORK wSteelwork, stainless steel, staircases, balustrades, gates, grills, repairings, etc. Call for a free quote 606 656 008

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

NURSERIES wguarderia/Nursery Torre Montessori, an English nursery with Spanish as second language. High adult/child ratios. Open Monday to Friday. Full and Part Time places available. Address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar. TL: 633 637 774 Email: torremontessori@gmail.com

Advertise Here - Call: 664 210 468 12 months -60 euros 6 months - 40 euros 3 months - 30 euros

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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Business Listing OPTICIANS wheiko by heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923 wheiko by heiko, C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja 952 528 395. wheiko by heiko, C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565

OSTEOPATHY wOsteopathy for the whole family. Gentle and specific treatment of the whole body, also for children and pregnant mums. Member of the General Osteopathic Council and the Spanish Osteopathic register. Call: 622 078 432 or email: clem.dupl@hotmail.fr

PAINTERS wPainting, Decorating and General Property Maintenance Tel: 630 842 978

PARTY PLANNERS wParty People We plan your party Call 633 350 211

PET COURIERS

wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy. Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares. wSur integral Plumbing and Electrical Services Domestic & Commercial plumbing & electrical Call: 666 715 215

PROPERTY & POOL CARE wExperienced, professional and reliable all year service. Caring for your Property, Pool and People. References available on request. Call Ron: 637 995 088, ppp247@hotmail.co.uk www.pppaxarquia.com wOne Stop Solutions, Pool & property maintenance & repair, building work, decorating, holiday lettings, cleaning, interpreting, house / pet sitting. Phone Gill on 608969625 for quote. wPool cleaning paying to much!! We charge 12.50€ per week. Guaranteed service. Call or e-mail Tez 634 400 716 tezsmith1056@hotmail.co.uk wUnhappy with your pool service? It doesn’t have to be that way for just 12.50€ a week we guarantee our services will put the sparkle back in your pool!! Call or e-mail Tez 634 400 716 tezsmith1056@hotmail.co.uk

wPet Taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PROPERTY RENTALS

PHOTOGRAPHY

wBuy a home Spain/rent a home Spain, C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

wFlexiFoto – www.flexifoto.eu : Family Photos, Children & Teens, Weddings, Communions, School Photos, Graduations & Proms, Portraits, Models & Fashion, Studio & Location Shoots – Tel. 670 45 22 97

PHYSIOTHERAPY wSanne h. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculoskeletal conditions. 626 152 756

PLASTERERS wEnglish Plasterer - good rates. Call Nigel 620 256 092 wStockton Plastering and Damp Services Time served plasterer 30 years experience in all aspects of plastering and damp proofing. Insurance approved and fully legal. Call 648 243 656 for a no obligation quotation or visit www.stocktonplastering.sm4.biz

PROPERTY SALES wwww.myproperty-finder.com Buy - Sell - Rent - Exchange sales@myproperty-finder.com Phone: 952 516 494 or 609 179 550

PUBLISHERS wPenpress call Lynn 633350211 or email: lynn@penpress.co.uk. www.penpress.co.uk

REMOVALS

PLUMBERS

w2Js removals Ltd, House Clearances, UK-SpainUK, Local and International removals, Reliable service, free quotes, no job too small. Fully insured. Call: June or John 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 Email: jmcc1957@yahoo.co.uk

wJohn Folland Plumbing & heating: All jobs from a dripping tap to fully fitted kitchens/bathrooms. No call out charge. Tel John: 622 050 803 or 622 180 606

Advertise Here - Call: 664 210 468 12 / 6 or 3 months Email: sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing REMOVALS (Continued) wUk-Spain-Uk removals. Complete van loads or just 1 item. We are in the UK every 2 weeks. Pay for just 1 way. Nerja Sofas 608091660 or 951247240 nerjasofas@hotmail.com wC&D removals, Local and International, 2 men, 1 van, 20€ p/hr. Call: 622 222 361 wMan with a Van, 7.5 tonne capacity, Ikea collections and fitting long and short haul, also roofing and decorating services. Call Steve 633 337 619 Email: swtransit@gmail.com

RESTAURANTS wTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731 wTaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Vacional - 340 next to Post Office. 952 534 972 / 634 051 635 wrestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wLight of india Torrox’s original Indian restaurant Tel: 951 239 670 / 677 334 721 wLunch & Dining in "El 7 Cielo", Venta Alta , Alcaucin. GOURMET & FONDUE meals for all occasions. More info at www.el7cielo.es or call 649 661 184 Frank/Els.

SATELLITE T.V. wTotal Satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com wSky Shop Torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wSat. Co. Freesat HD & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call TOM 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm wTechno-Vision Satellite TV, CCTV & Internet Solutions. NO FIX NO FEE, 10% Dsicounts for OAP’s. Tel: 638 262 410 / 686 516 154. Visit our online shop at www.techno-vision.es Email: info@techno-vision.es

SECURITY wPerfect alarm S.L., Caleta de Velez. High quality security systems, like video surveillance, alarm systems, fence protection, home automation. Worldwide surveillance of your property. If requested, we are licensed to connect to a monitoring station. We speak English and German. Call Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

SIGN MAKERS wredhouse Signmakers. Suppliers and designers of

all types of signs - shops, pavement boards, estate agency for sale boards, vehicle advertising, banner stands and more. New telephone number: 675 091 982. Email redhousesigns@yahoo.co.uk Website: www.redhousesigns.com

SOLAR wSolar Solutions, Sales & Servicing. We cover solar hot water, solar electricity (PV), Solar (PV) windmills, Solar pool heating and Pellet central heating systems. For more info visiti Trapiche market every Tuesday or call Andrew 660 597 894 - Spanish and English spoken. Email: andrewthecarpenter@gmail.com

SOLICITORS wC&D Solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 www.cdsolicitors.net or email:info@cdsolicitors.net wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47 www.delpradoandpartners-es.com

SPAS & SAUNAS wTime Out Spas & Saunas. Serving The Costa del Sol for more than 10 Years. Hundreds of Spas Installed! We service all Brands of Spas so come to us - we are the Professionals. 952 52 43 94 www.timeoutspas.com

SPECIALIST HEALTH & BEAUTY TREATMENTS wOxford Skin Clinics offering specialist treatments including, Lipo by Laser and Non Laser Tattoo removal as well as a range of La Cure bauty products. Tel: 634 348 179/672 583 776, Email: osc.malaga@gmail.com or visit our website www.oxfordskinclinics.co.uk

WEB DESIGNERS wSpanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: www.spanglishwebs.com Email: info@spanglishwebs.com

WINDOW TINTING wMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com

Avda. Andalucia, 125-A, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 / 649 123 068 Avda. Andalucia, 64 (near ‘Las Yucas’), Torre del Mar Tel: 952 965 724 www.casa-terreno.net info@casa-terreno.com

rubite - ref.: 3111

This beautiful bungalow (180m2) in high quality and with extensive views of the mountains is built on a plot of 1,800m2. It is located near the nice little village of Rubite, with good access, and only 20km from Torre del Mar, the beach and leisure facilities. The house is completely furnished, with a nice fireplace, an open fully fitted kitchen, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, storage room and a garage. There is a 25m2 south facing terrace to enjoy the fantastic views and a big pool to cool down after a sunny day. A little paradise on the mountains of the Axarquia!

199,950€

SAFARI LOUNGE Hot Stone

ANGUS Argentina MRS. Rump steak 200 gr. MR. Rump steak 300 gr. The Queen 400 gr. The King 500 gr. Tenderloin MRS. Filet steak 180 gr. MR. Filet steak 250 gr. The Queen 330 gr. The King 400 gr. Pork Fillet MRS. Pork 180 gr. MR. Pork 250 gr.

12.90 € 16.90 € 21.90 € 25.90 € 15.90 € 19.90 € 23.90 € 27.90 € 11.90 € 19.90 €

Sword fish with King Prawns 12.90 €

Paseo de Larios, 38 (on corner at beach end) Torre del Mar Tel: 952 541 343 / 606 852 412 www.safari-lounge.com

King Prawns 11.90 € All dishes are served with salad and fries. 1€ extra -Baked Potato Pepper, Roquefort or Red-Wine Sauce

FP0654 A modern, three bedroom, 120m2 villa on 6,000m2 built in a rustic style with feature wooden ceilings, easy access by concrete track and enjoying marvellous sea views ALMACHAR

249,000€ “JUST TwO OF a SELECTiON OF hUNDrEDS OF PrOPErTiES TO SUiT aLL BUDgETS. PLEaSE CaLL US!”

ALMAYATE/BENAJARAFE

FP0797 A spacious, 184m2, rural but not isolated property in a hamlet between Almayate and Benajarafe. Three bedrooms, extensive outbuildings on a level 628m2 plot

165,000€

TOrrE OFFiCE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NErJa OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306