Sentinella Axarquia April 09

The Sentinella Axarquia Edition!

N o 56 A ll y ou ne ed f or ‘ i nf o on t h e go ’

A pril 0 9 FREE!

Tel: 952 547 554 / 680 210 414

ARKWRIGHTS The British Store & more

Tel: 95 11 67 289 / 674

See page 37

The little mag that fits in your bag for ‘iinfo on the go’

RENT A HOME Property Sales - Property Lettings Property Management

Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

NEEDED QUALITY HOLIDAY PROPERTIES FOR RENT NOW Lake Vinuela Lovely 2 bed, villa, fully furnished, fantastic views, private pool 650€ pm Long Term Algarrobo 3 bed, 1.5 bath, house, magnificent views, part furnished 550€ pm Long Term Algarrobo FOR SALE 1 bed apartment, 1 bath, (60m2) Apartment, fantastic investment opportunity 45,000€ GIVE AWAY

Benajarafe RENT TO BUY 9 bed, 5 bath villa. Sea views excellent business opportunity.

Good rental income or large home 1,500€ pm 249,000€

***STOP PRESS changes in rental law 40% rebate available to all residents paid direct to renter STOP PRESS ***

RENT A HOME SPAIN IS A FULLY LICENCED , REGISTERED , INSURED S . L . COMPANY TO GIVE YOU TOTAL PEACE OF MIND .

C . I . F. B - 92946276

www.rentahomespain.com email: info@rentahomespain.com

Avda. Andalucia, 133, Torre del Mar

(Just around the corner from the Thursday Market)

From the Ed..

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

I don’t know about anyone else, but all this talk of the credit crunch is boring me stupid. Switch on the TV and there’s a report about the number of people faced with losing their homes this year. Turn on the radio and there’s some one-tone voice expressing concerns over the ‘state of the economy’. Hell, even popping down the local involves a half drunken conversation with a random family guy droning on about his lack of funds and how he’s going to feed his offspring this year.

Now don’t get me wrong. I do sympathise with people who are struggling through these hard times. I just don’t think people help themselves and I do believe the whole thing is made a lot worse by all the negative media coverage and the amount of energy we choose to churn into it. That energy could be used in a far more positive manner, hence producing far more positive results. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, or whining about our lack of funds and general sense of poverty, I wish people would look at what they do have.

Let me give you a tip. I believe in the power of words…affirmations. Every morning when you awake, before you dare to think of any kind of lack in your life, feel abundant and say this sentence out loud: “I’m so happy and grateful that true wealth is flowing to me easily and effortlessly and I am filled to overflowing with the feeling of true prosperity.” The sheer strength of those words will resonate through you and make you feel rich, even if you currently aren’t.

Then spend 10 minutes or so visualising in your head (use your imagination) exactly how you would like your life to be.

Imagine yourself driving that Porsche you’ve always wanted. What colour is it?

What colour is the interior? Does it have

A Taste of What’’s Inside This Month

Top 10’s..........................Page 9 Useless Facts...............Page 10 Roast Dinner................Page 21 Network Update..........Page 23 Del Boy’s Dodgers......Page 25 Amazing Animals........Page 38 Gardening Times.........Page 62 Driving In Spain...........Page 66 Star Signs....................Page 83 What’s On....................Page 84 Puzzle Page..................Page 88 Joke Page......................Page 90 CONTACT THE EDITOR PHONE: 664 210 468 EMAIL: sales@thesentinella.com Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005

No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine.

May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

To advertise call 664 210 468

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any add ons? Be as specific as possible.

Find the local dealer and take the model you want out for a test drive. Ask a friend to photograph yourself driving it and stick it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every day. Throughout the day review that mental image a number of times – as many as you possibly can.

The results will filter in slowly at first and although it takes a different amount of time for everyone, pretty soon you will see results in your life. You will become the person you want to be and can see yourself being. You will be the owner and driver of that shiny new Porsche.

Rather than the credit crunch, imagine there being a Profit Explosion or a Money Mountain. Now that’s more like it, don’t you think?!

All those who see themselves as six figure income earners (meaning 100,000€ plus a year) please leave your details on my website www.SuperHighIncome.com If your income goal is any less, then you’re not right for the opportunity. I’m only looking to work with motivated and driven people.

Keidi Keating x

Strange News

Editor (of the original little mag)!

Costa-lot…

A coffee taster for Costa has had his tongue insured for £10 million.

Gennaro Pelliccia, 34, tests every batch of raw beans before they leave the firm's roastery.

The company says the Italian Master of Coffee, who has 18 years experience, has already proved his worth. Costa's 4

cappuccino is the favourite for seven in ten Brits ahead of Caffè Nero and Starbucks.

A spokesman for Glencairn, who insured Gennaro's tongue at Lloyd's of London, said: "This is one of the biggest single insurance policies taken out for one person.

"But his taste buds are as important as the vocal cords of a singer."

Yes Miss Robot

Pupils in Japan have been given lessons by the world's first robot teacher.

The humanoid named Saya is multilingual, can do roll calls and set tasks from text books.

'She' has a latex face, modelled on a university student, controlled by 18 motors to create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.

Saya will start teaching full-time after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.

Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.

Rotten eggs? Cor!

Scientists say the smell of rotten eggs is arousing for men and could be used to create an alternative to Viagra.

Nerve cells release minute amounts of hydrogen sulphide - the gas which gives rotten eggs their distinctive smell - when a man becomes aroused, causing blood vessels to relax and so fill with blood.

Researcher Professor Cirino, of the University of Naples Federico II in Italy, said: "It should be possible in future to develop drugs that either deliver hydrogen sulphide or that control the hydrogen sulphide production.”

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Dumb & Dumber?

We REALLY are the weakest link - the hilariously wrong quiz show answers that prove Britain is dumbing down

LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?

BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1) Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.

Contestant: Shark.

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL) Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er . . . Mexico?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE) Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant: (after long pause): Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No. THE VAULT (ITV) Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus

F o r a l l yo u r U p ho l ste ry & S o ft Fu rn i shi ngs

Home Furnishings / Curtains Alterations / Upholstery / Tablecloths Loose Covers / Re-upholstery

T el : 9 5 8 3 64 01 6 / 6 60 7 43 46 8 E m a i l : g i l l y s fa b ri c w o rk sh o p @h o t ma i l . c o .u k

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BAR VIVA

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Est. 1999 ‘The Friendly Family Bar’ DRAUGHT

Sunday Roast inc. glass of wine € 9.50 Bookings recommended All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am till late every day

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

Engineer’s Jargon

What they say and what they mean.

Top Engineer’s terms and expressions.

A number of different approaches are being tried.

(We are still guessing at this point).

Close project coordination.

(We sat down and had coffee together).

An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach.

(We just hired three kids out of school).

Major technological breakthrough!

(It works some of the time but looks very hi-tech!)

Customer satisfaction is believed assured.

(We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything).

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.

(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch).

Test results were extremely gratifying!

(Unbelievable, it actually worked!)

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.

(The only guy who understood the thing quit).

It is in process.

(It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless).

We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already).

Please note and initial.

(Let’s spread the responsibility for this).

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Chinese Yum!

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie 1. We know where you live.

2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.

3. Everyone's meal today is on you!

4. The "special sauce" came from the floor!

5. Guess what our special "drop" was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!!

6. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.

7. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.

8. Your dog Sparky... he's no longer missing.

9 .See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.

10. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus....maybe

Funny Ha Ha

Ho Ho Ho‌ Quirky sentences, to make you laugh till your sides ache!

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

In democracy it's your vote that counts.

In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

8

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To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Top 10’s

Top ten interview questions asked by employers in London…

1. What are your weaknesses?

2. Why should we hire you?

3. Why do you want to work here?

4. What are your goals?

5. Why did you leave your last job?

6. When were you most satisfied in your previous job?

7. What can you do for us that other candidates can’t?

8. What are three positive things that your last boss would say about you?

9. What salary are you seeking?

10. If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?

Dance Time

If you are looking for somewhere for your children to have a dance and to make some new friends both English and Spanish then call Fiona on 652 825 527

Fiona has recently set up dance classes at the Montessori Nursery in Torre del Mar every Wednesday. Children, girls and boys from the age of 4 can come and boogie the afternoon away.

Fiona specialising in Modern, Ballet and Acro Dance will keep your little ones amused for 1 hour. 2 sessions are available 4pm - 5pm for 4 - 6 year olds and 5pm - 6pm for 7 - 10 year olds.

At just 5 euros an hour why not pop along and take a look for yourself.

Montessori Nursery, Calle Laureano Casquero, Torre del Mar. 652 825 527

Top ten causes of car accidents in the UK..

1. Daydreaming 2. Bad weather

3. Staring at an attractive pedestrian 4. Using a mobile phone

5. Shaving, doing hair or make-up 6. Talking to a passenger

7. Changing a CD or tape 8. Reading a billboard 9. Children fighting

10. Sneezing/hayfever

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9

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Useless Facts

The largest meteorite crater in the world is in Winslow, Arizona. It is 4,150 feet across and 150 feet deep.

The longest cells in the human body

are the motor neurons. They can be up to 4.5 feet (1.37 meters) long and run from the lower spinal cord to the big toe .

Skylab, the first American space station, fell to the earth in thousands of pieces in 1979. Thankfully most over the ocean.

Human jaw muscles can generate a force of 200 pounds (90.8 kilograms) on the molars.

Tremendous erosion at the base of Ni-

agara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years.

The only letter not appearing on the Periodic Table is the letter “J�.

The fastest computer in the world is

the CRAY Y-MP C90 supercomputer. It has two gigabytes of central memory and 16 parallel central processor units.

Scientists have discovered that copper pollution of the atmosphere occurred about 2500 years ago. This was discovered by analyzing ice cores from Greenland. The pollution was attributed to the Romans who used copper for military purposes and to produce coins.

20/20 vision means the eye can see

normally at 20 feet. 20/15 is better; the eye can see at 20 feet what another eye sees at 15 feet.

The average human produces a quart of saliva a day -- about 10,000 gallons in a lifetime.

Elephants have been known to remain standing after they die.

The embryos of tiger sharks fight each 10

other while in their mother's womb, the survivor being the baby shark that is born.

Nearly a third of all bottled drinking

water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18

months, two rats could have over 1 million descendents.

Lobsters have blue blood.

Shark's teeth are literally as hard as steel.

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

Starfish haven`t got brains.

A person from Glasgow is called a Glaswegian.

To advertise call 664 210 468

SAXON S.L JC B D ig g e r H ir e Velez-Malaga Area Rates: Special Offers:

Large Digger from 260â‚Ź all day (8hrs) inc. local Travel Small Digger from 130â‚Ź all day (8hrs) inc. local Travel Other services inc.

Plumbing and Drainage Septic Tanks, Carpentry & CCTV pipe surveys

662 39 83 72 67 8 2 3 2 2 5 3 Email: saxonsl@live.co.uk

BIKES, BIKES AND MORE BIKES! We are delighted to announce the addition of bikes to our hire stock

BOOK EARLY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT.

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our NEW SHOWROOM at LAKE VINUELA BUT PLEASE PHONE BEFOREHAND TO ARRANGE AN APPOINTMENT AS WE ARE OFTEN OUT DELIVERING.

WE

ARE SITUATED AT KM29 (ON RIGHT) OFF A356 PAST CAMPING & PANTANO RESTAURANT. WE ARE SIGNPOSTED FROM THERE.

1KM

F REE P LA YM A T O R TO Y F O R T HE D UR A T I O N O F T HE H I RE .

From bikes to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers.

Everything you need for when little ones come to visit.

C OM E A ND S EE U S AT K M 2 9 O N TH E A3 5 6

PH O NE DA WN O N: 6 27 93 1 36 0 WEB S ITE: W WW . NU R SE R Y N E ED S .C OM EMA IL : dawn @n u rseryn eeds. co m

THE MECHANICAL DOCTORS

MECHANICAL GARAGE REPAIRS TO ALL VEHICLES 4 X 4 & LIGHT COMMERCIALS RECONDITIONING OF ENGINES & GEARBOXES QUICK SERVICE FOR OIL, BRAKES & CLUTCHES PICK UP & DELIVERY HAND CAR WASH

CALLE de FRANSISCO de GOYA POL. IND. LA PANOLETA VELEZ - MALAGA

TEL: 951 28 44 26 MOB: RAYMOND 672 112 998 MOB: MICHAEL 671 758 375

mechanical_doctors@yahoo.co.uk medicos_delautomovil.es

PRE ITV ( MOT ) PRESENT CAR FOR ITV CAR & VAN HIRE

y 10%

OFF WITH THIS ADVERT

CONSTRUCTION & HIRE Time served NHBC Builder with 40 years experience in Construction POOLS, EXTENSIONS NEW BUILDS, BRICKWORK TILING, PLUMBING ELECTRICAL SEWAGE & WATER TANKS PLASTERING CONCRETE & STONE WALLS MATERIALS SUPPLIED MACHINE HIRE (with or without driver) Ask to see our work Parajae Los Rosajes S.L. Alcaucin English: 696 547 646 Spanish: 636 219 689

SPRING SALE NOW ON - Up to 30% off Free Phone: 800 088 041 Mobile: 626 458 954

Clinica Casa Blanca

Urb. Jardines del Mar, Blq C3 - Torrox Costa (near Garden Centre 1km direction, Nerja)

Do you suffer from back problems, pain in neck or shoulders, tightness in muscles, joint discomfort, migraine or internal ailments?

The BOWEN TECHNIQUE is gentle and works on the whole body for inflammation, illness and pain.

The treatment is safe and appropriate for everyone, from newborn babies to the frail and elderly.We also offer massage, lymphatic drainage and other treatments.

Tel: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 (also home visits) Ask about gift vouchers

glasscurtainsdirect@gmail.com www.glasscurtains.es

Glass Curtains direct agents for The Glass Curtain Company

GLASS SERVICES DIRECT Replacement Windows UPVC / Aluminium Replacement doors Patio doors Conservatories Roof glass & polycarbonate Sealed units Glazing repairs Self cleaning glass application Contact: 800 088 041 free phone Mobile: 626 458 954

C/Verdemar 2 Edificio Toboso 1, Torre del Mar

Restaurante

BRAVO

Wonder ful Seaviews

*Tapas Menu *Paellas *Beautiful Danish Pastries *Pancakes

Superb Daily Menu - 8.50€ Starters - Mixed Salad, Onion Soup, Tomato Soup, baked Brie with Almonds Mains - Pork Chops with Roast Potatoes & Ali Oli Come dancing with Grilled Rosada with Fried Tomato & French Fries Hugh Grant!!

Spaghetti Bolognese or Vegetable Spaghetti Salsa - Rumba - Cha Cha Pizza of your choice Dessert - Coffee & Danish Pastry - Swing - Hustle BOOKINGS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Thursdays 4pm 5€ p/p

For reser vations call Maria or Niels on: 952 55 00 83 *Old musical instruments needed

Urb. Pueblo Nuevo, Edf. Montevideo, Algarrobo Costa

all about beauty

1. all about beauty BODY WRAP PACKAGE

for losing inches and a firmer and even body. Package includes one body wrap in the salon and one home kit for 3 - 4 treatments 75€

Spring Fever!2. all about beauty

offers:

all about beauty hair - cosmetic - make up the first make over shop

TORRE DEL MAR C/ Infantes 23 Tel. 952 967 968 www.allaboutbeauty.eu

R ADIANT F ACE - special spring facials in a series. Three Microdermabrasion or Ultrasonic facials 99€

3. COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL - Get a free Makeup with every haircut

4.

F UNKY F EET - Nail design with UV Gel. Lasts up to 6 weeks - no more stress with nail polish from 35€ New: Eyelash extensions Botox, Restylane and Consultation in general by a registered, experienced plastic surgeon.

For further information call: 952 967 968 C/Infantes 23, Torre del Mar

All our food is prepared using only fresh ingredients.

FRIDAYS:

Now open until 9pm serving: Cod or Haddock (in homemade batter) & chips ONLY 7.95€ also our usual excellent menu

SUNDAY LUNCH:

Choice of 4 meats, fresh veg, Yorkshire Pudding & all the trimmings 7.95€ including glass of wine Menu del Dia (varies daily) 2 courses 6.50€

Ta

a ke

wa

vi er S y

Open daily from 8.30am for breakfasts T ak ce Closed Saturdays ea wa C/Dr Maranon, (1 min from beach), yS Torre del Mar er

609 108 759

vic

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To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Doctor Doctor

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."

2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."

11. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing off my concentration.

1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

5. Hand me that... uh... that uh... that thingy there.

10. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

12. What's this doing here?

13. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

14. That's cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!

6. Oh no! Where's my Rolex.

15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

8. There go the lights again?

17. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

7. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500ml of this stuff before?

16. Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

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Nerja Hire Centre

The Nerja Hire Centre is back in town!

Following a brief spell at Poligono Castillo, everyone will be very pleased to hear that the Nerja Hire Centre is back in town - quite literally.

This well known family business, run by Chris and Jackie Downes and originally established back in 1985, the Nerja Hire Centre had become something of a local landmark in Nerja town Centre - but the problem there was always the parking, and as the shop lease came to an end Chris and Jackie reluctantly moved into new premises onto the nearby Industrial Estate.

“The trouble was explains Chris “That although there was plenty of space and parking on the Industrial Estate, our existing customers just couldn’t find us and there were no new customers passing by”. He continues “So when we heard of these premises in Nerja coming onto the market - it was an opportunity we just couldn’t afford to miss” Now trading from the prominent new shop on the Nerja/Frigiliana road, you can be sure to find them, and what’s more, these new premises are even bigger and better - with easy parking!

The Nerja Hire Centre has long been a popular ‘one stop shop’ for tourists and residents alike - with everything from

Poligono la Panoleta C/Juan Gris No 5 29700 Velez Malaga Tel: 952 501 543 20

pushchairs to pick axes and heaters to hedge strimmers available to hire at very competitive rates. Also specialising in British Satellite installation, Ikea collections and local removals, the Nerja Hire Centre is rightly proud of it’s unique and personal service. The company also offers house clearances and always has a fabulous selection of quality used furniture and household goods for sale at reasonable prices.

You can’t fail to notice the Nerja Hire Centre now on the Nerja/Frigiliana road - and you are most welcome to pop in for a leisurely browse or a quotation - with absolutely no obligation.

“Of course we not only have the room to hold a larger stock of items for hire and to display more furniture” Jackie says, “but we now also have very easy access for collection - and our customers can park right outside the back door. We’ve noticed a significant increase in trade already and by popular request have even had to open on Sunday mornings!”

The Nerja Hire Centre is back where they belong!

Contact Chris or Jackie at the Nerja Hire Centre on 952 522 687, or 660 962 327 and 691 552 459, or visit their website at www.nerja-hire.com

R C O BRI E TA AD M See main advert on page 67

For your Wood - Carpentry Kitchen furniture, Doors, Windows WE TALK ENGLISH!

Email: madercobrita@madercobrita.es / Web: www.madercobrita.es

To advertise call 664 210 468

Cocktails

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D R E SS M A K I N G

Salty Dog 2oz gin, 4oz grapefruit juice, salt for rimming, lemon or lime wedge for garnish

SERVICE

Alterations Clothes Made To Measure Bridesmaids Dresses Party Wear Curtains & Soft Furnishings

Sapphire Martini 2 dashes dry vermouth, 2 dashes blue curaçao, 2oz Bombay Sapphire gin (or other premium gin), frozen, lemon twist for garnish

Satan’s Whiskers 1oz gin, 1/2oz Grand Marnier, 1oz dry vermouth, 1oz sweet vermouth, 1oz orange juice, 2 dashes orange bitters Scotch Manhatten 1 1/2oz Scotch, 1/4oz sweet vermouth, Angostura bitters to taste, maraschino cherry for garnish

Sea Breeze 1 3/4oz vodka, 3oz cranberry juice, 1oz grapefruit juice, grapefruit slice for garnish

Call Elaine on: 6 2 9 6 1 0 9 1 9

Located close to Puente don Manuel / Periana xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Silk Stocking 1 1/2oz reposado tequila, 1/2oz Chambord, 1/2oz creme de cacao, 1/2oz cream Steel Helmet 1oz vodka, 1oz coffee liqueur, milk or cream to fill, Galliano liqueur

Swamp Water Surprise 2oz rum, 1/4oz blue curaçao, 1oz orange juice, 1/2oz lemon juice, 1 package of Jell-O (optional), 1 cup boiling water (optional), 3/4 cup vodka (optional) Sunset Strip 1 1/2oz Absolut Los Angeles vodka, 1/4oz lime juice, 1/2oz simple syrup, 2oz cranberry juice, 2 watermelon chunks, watermelon chunk for garnish

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To advertise call

Roast Dinner

Fancy a Roast Dinner? Look no further! Where to get your Roast on the Coast and Inland this summer.

Rib House - Torrox Costa Tel: 952 532 369 or 696 516 534 Crumbles - Torre del Mar Tel: 635 080 095 or 618 640 086 Cornish Pride - Torre del Mar Tel: 609 108 759 Viva Bar - Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362 Kieler Jurgens - Algarrobo Tel: 628 239 780 Bar Atila - Puente don Manuel Tel: 685 552 529 Tiffanys - Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 494 325 Brensons - Canillas de Aceituno Tel: 952 518 083 or 663 038 255 21 664 210 468

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Celebrity Quotes

Even celebs say the stupidest of things at times‌

1) "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

Dean Martin

2) "You're not a real manager unless you've been sacked."

Malcolm Allison

3|) "This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone.

4) "When you are down and out, something always turns up - usually the noses of your friends."

Orson Welles 5) "Anybody who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue ought to be sterilized."

Adolf Hitler

6) "I am an optimist. But I'm an optimist who takes his raincoat."

Harold Wilson

7) "The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary."

Vidal Sassoon 8) "I'm not against half-naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be..."

Benny Hill

9) "The nicest thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance

with the originator which is often socially impressive."

Kenneth Williams 10) "The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy".

Helen Hayes (at 73)

11) "TV has brought murder back into the home where it belongs."

Alfred Hitchcock 12) "TV is more interesting than people.

If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms."

Alan Coren

13) "Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."

Plato

14) "Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value."

Albert Einstein

15) "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

Mark Twain 16) "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood".

Oscar Wilde

17) "Don't be so humble, you're not that great".

Golda Meir

DESPERATE TO STAY IN SPAIN? DON'T want to move back to the grey UK? Learn to earn a substantial full-time income while working part-time at home. Not MLM

22

Call 671 879 715 www.SuperHighIncome.com To advertise call 664 210 468

Network Update

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Hot news from The Sentinella Network is that we’re currently looking for the right people (or person) to take over The Sentinella Mojacar. No paying out is involved, so if you’re looking for a job and are up for moving to the Mojacar region, this could be the chance for you. Full training is given, plus a huge list of contacts and existing advertisers.

Previously run by myself (Keidi) and a friend Hannah, we decided that the long journeys back and forth were tiring us out too much to continue. So please note if this interests you it will be necessary to move to the area. We know apartments for rent for no more than 350€ a month for a 2-bed!

All who are interested in this opportunity

please email me direct on info@thesentinella.com On a different note, The Sentinella is still working on its monthly online newsletter campaign, which will be launched as soon as possible.

For all those that have submitted their email addresses to receive this, don’t worry we haven’t forgotten and you’ll receive the first edition just as soon as it’s all wrapped up.

AMAZING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY AT...

Would you like to be part of

The Sentinella Global Magazine Network?

We are looking for people to run The Sentinella in the following areas: Granada City Almeria West Gibraltar

Now Pay only €4,000 up front!

Further areas available in Cadiz, Sevilla & Cordoba provinces, plus along the Costa Brava, Costa Blanca, Portugal and the Islands

UK areas also

! available!

Fee includes all you need to start up and run the little mag, including software, advice, tips, training notes, back issues full support, knowledge and a comprehensive start up pack... 5 streams of income For enquiries call: 610 976 284 Email: thesentinella@yahoo.co.uk

To advertise call 664 210 468

23

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Dates for the Diary

Every Wednesday Evening Modern Jive Dancing.

Held at Restaurant Horto Malaga, on the main N340 road, Torrox Costa. Starts 8.30pm. Modern Jive dancing with tuition. Open to single men, women or couples. Tel: Jacqueline 658 729 274

Every Thursday Evening Dovestones Trio.

Vocal Jazz and Pop, 11.00pm in “SABOA”, Torre del Mar (opposite the tram station), Call 627 398 511 for details.

Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar, Quiz night from 8.30pm with cash prizes. APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month.

Call 952 544 362

Every 2nd Sunday Evening Morenos Bar, Jammin night from 7pm, Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel.

Thursday 2nd of April is "World Autism Awareness Day". The "Parque de Andalucia" Frigiliana 2nd of april from 4.30till late, Fun Fiesta all welcome.

Music,fancy dress if u like, open air disco and bouncy castle for under 7s & raffle.

Email: tch41177@hotmail.com or call: 628 085 479 or send sms for recall. Español 659 859 478 monica ACTEA is a new association which has been formed to help children and young people who are on the Autism spectrum in the Axarquia region.

Friday 3rd April Aisha will be celebrating their second birthday and are holding a party from 18.00hrs with mint tea & Moroccan cakes, there will also be a Moroccan lady present to paint henna designs for the ladies. Call 952 507 921for more info...

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Saturday 4th April Grand National at Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel. Please call for details on: 685 552 529

To advertise call 664 210 468

24HR...

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Dates for the Diary

Saturday 11th April Grand opening Tiffanys, Puente don Manuel. Under new management. Featuring Michael Anthony all the way from Benidorm!! Join them for drinks, canapes and dancing from 8pm. Call: 952 494 325 for more details.

Friday 17th April New session called “Hablamos!” (let’s speak) at Bem Idiomas language school, Velez Malaga. 12pm - 2pm Fridays. Main purpose to gain more confidence speaking aloud. No grammar, no books and no written exercises. Call for details: 952 54 92 33 Saturday 18th April Get down to The El Ancla restaurant in Torrox, LIVE (the charity supporting the Malaga children’s home) is organising a fête day. With entertainment for all age groups, fairground rides, and stalls running games or selling items they intend to raise money for the Children’s Home.

Sunday 19th April CoraXalia International Choir.

Based in Venta Baja, CoraXalia will perform its new Spring repertoire at the church of Ntra. Sra. del Carmen, in Caleta de Vélez, starting at 8pm. Free admission, but donations will be welcome. Please call 630 520 581 for more details

Del Boy’s Dodgers

Starting this month we have a new feature where we will list certain businesses, who have previously advertised in The Sentinella, that we no longer have any association with.

Take this as you wish as we don’t want any lawsuits now do we!!

1. EMT 2. Mechanic Aid 3. Aqua 4 U 4. The Wrought Iron Man

PLUMBING, DRAINAGE ALL GAS APPLIANCES MINOR ELECTRICAL WORK & SOLAR PANELS

Unblocked, Serviced Repaired or Installations, all work undertaken, Former UK British Gas Trained & Dyno Rod Engineers all fully qualified English & Spanish speaking

CALL

666 123 055 952 514 333

To advertise call 664 210 468

25

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Random Jokes

If you can start the day without caffeine, if you can get going without pep pills, if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, if you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, if you can take criticism and blame without resentment, if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend, if you can conquer tension without medical help, if you can relax without liquor, if you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog! ----------------------------------------------------A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ..'

The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either.'

---------------------------------------------------The Affair A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,' she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied, 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2am the husband

26

got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

----------------------------------------------------Q. Why did the Tomato go out with a prune? A. Because he couldn't find a date!

----------------------------------------------------Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy? A. We have to stop meating like this.

----------------------------------------------------Q. What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat? A. Someone who lost their veg-inity!

----------------------------------------------------Q. Have you heard of the garlic diet? A. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner.

To advertise call 664 210 468

Ali & his Staff are pleased to have served you for the last 3 years. He has promised to continue serving his cuisine to it’s FREE Pappadam usual high standard with Mango ensuring the Taj Takeaways available Chutney & Pickle Free Pappadam & pickle Mahal remains the Tray with all Best Curry House with takeaways meals Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with vegetable curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

Opening Hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day Puente don Manuel Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

Muebles

Open: Mon. - Fri. 10:00am - 19:00pm Sat. 10:00am - 14:00pm OPEN ALL DAY NO SIESTAS

CF Furniture S ALL SUITES POCKET SPRUNG, SCOTCH GUARDED AND COVERED BY ISO 9001 CERTIFICATE

ITALIAN LEATHER SOFA CENTRE YOU WILL FIND THE BIGGEST CHOICE OF SOFAS & THE LARGEST SELECTION OF TOP BRITISH BEDS ALL IN STOCK FOR IMMEDIATE FREE LOCAL DELIVERY

Vista La Maroma B&B Good rates

Small B&B in the heart of La Vinuela village

2 x guest terraces and dipping pool Group bookings available: All 4 rooms can be booked sleeping up to 10 guests.

Price on application)

En-suite rooms, all with air conditioning, sat tv and mini-bar.

Tel: 952 519 095 Mob: 666 396 562 E-mail: vistalamaroma26@gmail.com Website: www.vistalamaroma.com

Separate guest sitting room and dining room

Kieler JURGEN steak house

open 9am - 11pm (Closed Tuesdays) S P E C I A L G R E E K K E B A B P L AT E Lunch Plates from 5 € S pe c i a l 3 c o u r s e ev e ni n g m e nu 3 course sunday lunch 11 € S PE C I ALS FO R APR IL : LE G O F L AMB , LAM B S H AN K & R AB B I T F R E S H W H I T E A S P A R A G U S ( W I T H V A R I O U S M E AT S ) 11TH APRIL - EASTER DANCE - LIVE MUSIC 30TH APRIL - LAST MUSIC EVENT BEFORE SUMMER MAY DAY DANCE f u n c t i o n r o o m av a i l a b l e f o r b i r t h d a y p a r t i e s , e t c Nr. Centro Internacional 72BJ Algarrobo Costa (Opposite large swimming pool) Tel:628 239 780

POOL TABLE

BAR ATILA

INTERNET ACCESS

Come and try our extensive food menu incl.

Pork Chops, Beef Chops, Fresh Chicken Breasts & fantasic new Curries Served 10am - 10pm Mon - Fri & 12pm - 10pm Sat Sunday Roast served 1pm - 6pm Beef, Pork, Chicken, Lamb or Vegetarian Roast available 2 courses 9.95€ , 3 courses 12.45€ **EASTER SUNDAY** Treat yourself to a roast!!

Monday nights - 8.00pm - Bingo - good cash prizes Tuesday nights - 8.30pm - Successful quiz - good cash prizes Wednesdays & Sundays - Pool club from 2pm

SKY SPORTS

Come and join us for THE GRAND NATIONAL!!

Saturday 4th April OPEN EVERY DAY Mon - Fri 10am - 12am Sat 12pm - 12am Sun 12pm - 10pm

SETANTA

*** Beat the Credit Crunch and join us Mon - Fri 6pm - 7pm for HAPPY HOUR*** (Closed St. George’s Day for private function)

For information or bookings call: 685 552 529 C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel

torre del mar Pasatiempo Bookshop

C/Infantes 32 29740 Torre del Mar Malaga

Now have a new selection of cards from 1€ plus Notelets & Slant pads.

Also Maps, Walking & Michelin Guides Newspapers - Magazines in many languages Tel: 952 543 703 bookshop@bookshoppasatiempo.com

OWN LABORATORY

Mo - Th: 9.30-13.30 & 16.00-20.00 Fri: 9.30-16.30

Avd. Andalucia 157- Torre del Mar Appointments :952 547 251

Bilingual Nursery

Open from 7.30 to 20.30 (Mon - Fri)

Play Area for 0 - 7 years Celebrate Birthdays Qualified Staff in “Places now available Secure Premises for 2009 / 2010 (cctv, etc.) school year” Now open in the afternoons!

“Clinton & Geoff welcome you” Food served all day All live football shown, 4pm kick-offs Sats Fridays “Light of India” Curry Nights Now serving Fish & Chips 10.30am - late Mon - Sat Sun 10am - 7pm Paseo Maritimo 43, Torre del Mar (opposite tennis courts) Tel: 659 132 579 OPEN ALL DAY

BAR FOR SALE

C/ La Piragua Cjt. Las Arenas Bq. 5 Bajo 3, Torre del Mar Tel: / Fax: 952 54 19 42 email: electronica_vega@teleline.es

OFFICIAL DISTRIBUTOR FOR: SKY DIGITAL

CANAL + DIGITAL + Now in English!

Internet via Satellite T.D.T. Closed Circuit Television

Bar Cruce CafĂŠ/Bar Puente Don Manuel Tlf: 618 902 961

Special evening meal offer during months of March, April and May Grilled Succulent Pork Chop* Grilled Breast of Chicken* Grilled or Deep Fried Rosada All above served with chips or boiled potatoes *Chicken and Pork Chop served with choice of mushroom or pepper sauce Starter of mixed salad and choice of one of above including FREE drink of your choice (1 per person)

Great value at 8.50â‚Ź (closed Friday evenings)

Located beside La Maroma Estate Agency

WE OFFER MOBILE WORLD WIDE CALLS AT AMAZING PRICES

The following prices include a connection charge on the 1st minute

For a complete list of all our World Wide Rates email: irene@thelowcostcallcompany.com

PAY AS YOU GO or CONTRACT Rates just 5 cents per minute to other Low Cost Call users Same day sign up and immediate activation available

Tired of Juggling?

Part Time work for Full Time Income!

The fastest growing international company in the Health & Wellness sector is now seeking to establish a team of 5 key people in the Axarquia region.

Honesty, self-motivation and reliability essential. Full training, high income potential and profit share for the right person.

Contact Miriam Bowen by e-mail:

miriam.bowen@soaringteam.com

Our prices are valid 24 hours per day, 365 days per year

Call our team on FREEPHONE

800 088 040

Landlines also available at up to 70% cheaper than Telefonica

casablanca Asador Asador Snack Bar

Spit Roast Chickens Tapas Food to Take Away Open 8am - Late Closed Tuesdays Tel: Genoveva

654 223 202

C hir inguit o A nt onio Pue nt e don M a nue l / Ve nt a B a ja

WAYNES DRAINS & PLUMBING SERVICES 24 Hour Call Out EST. 1999

Do you have blocked drains?

Does your water take time to drain away?

Does your toilet back up when flushed?

If the answer is YES to any of these, then you need WAYNE’S DRAINS Quick & Reliable service 24/7 Latest equipment from USA including: High Pressure Jetting CCTV survey camera - can be downloaded onto DVD for Insurance purposes.

Root Cutter & Remover Pipe sizes from 3/4 inch to 12 inch Grease cleaner - Ideal for Restaurants All of our equipment is portable to ensure access to apartments on higher floors, houses & villas Septic Tanks emptied

NO JOB TOO BIG OR SMALL!!

Tel/Fax: 952 539 239 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Cudeca

Great news for Cudeca.

Cudeca Hospice was fortunate to receive a grant from the Consejería de Innovación, Ciencia y Empresa from the Junta de Andalucía with the aim of updating the technology and content of the Cudeca website. The project was undertaken using volunteer project management resources, support staff in Cudeca and a local provider.

The new website www.cudeca.org is maintained in both English and Spanish languages, where you can find lots interesting information about Cudeca and its “Special Kind of Caring” such as: Care & Support; About Us; Fundraising; Charity Shops (including an Online Shop); News and Events. The information is supported by Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs), allowing visitors to send Contact Forms by E-mail to appropriate members of staff.

Numerous photographs and a “360º Tour” allow visitors to take a virtual walk through the Hospice and the grounds.

WANTED *Cars *Motorhomes *Plant Machinery *Bikes AN Y YE AR A NY R EG.

Totally everything considered

CAS H BUY ERS *Embargos No Problem

Spanish 4 Beginners Do you have a basic knowledge of day to day spanish but keep saying to yourself that you really should learn the basics...

My BEGINNERS Course will provide you with all you need to get by, with confidence, in everyday life here in Sunny Spain STOP MAKING EXCUSES and contact me to find out more...

email: lisa7eddy33@hotmail.com Mobile: 608 840 692 Home vists available

Video and Sound Clips allow patients to comment on the care received.

An Online Shop which is initially being used as a shop-window for Cudecabranded merchandise, as an outlet to advertise special items that Cudeca has for sale, containing technology to allow secure online payment, which allows subscribers to make immediate payments or donations via credit card.

The Charity Shops section contains details of opening hours and Google Maps show their exact location.

The system allows email subscriptions and sends out updated information about Cudeca, highlights fundraising activities and reports on news and events.

Medical lectures and awareness sessions on cancer-related topics are being developed throughout the Spanishspeaking community.

We invite you all to visit our new website www.cudeca.org developed thanks to the Consejería de Innovación, Ciencia y Empresa from the Junta de Andalucía.

For more information on Cudeca and how to become a Benefactor, please contact the Hospice Centre on 952 56 49 10 or e-mail cudeca@cudeca.org

Rick: 653 477 306 Matt: 636 808 268 To advertise call 664 210 468

35

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Grandparents

What is a Grandparent? (taken from papers written by a class of 8-yearolds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of there own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colour of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have a television because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

It's funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.'

Then I asked my 4 year old the same question. “What is a Grandparent”?

“What is that?” Charli questioned, after explaining who they are the reply changed slightly “Oh them well they are just old”! Sorry Mum, Dad!!

They don't say, 'Hurry up.'

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like 'why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'

When they read to us, they don't skip.

They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

36

Menu of the Day 5.90€ (Monday to Friday) Open every day 12.00 - 16.00 18.30 - 24.00

Avda. Andalucia,35 Bajo 29750 Algarrobo-Costa (Malaga) Tel: 952 551 439 or 665 167 060

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com By all Means... MARRY!

Married Life

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

Henny Youngman

'I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'

Sam Kinison

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Anonymous

To advertise call 664 210 468

37

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Amazing Animals

Let’s cause a splash, by studying the friendly-faced dolphin…

Dolphins

are mammals; therefore, they nurse their young from mammary glands.

Dolphins

can swim up to 260m. below the surface of the ocean, although they are mainly shallow divers.

Dolphins

can stay up to 15 minutes under water, however they usually stay only a few minutes diving.

Dolphins

use a technique called echolocation to find food and navigate.

Dolphins

are social beings which live in groups and co-operate among each other for activities like getting food and calf rising.

There

are 32 species of ocean dolphins and 5 species of river dolphins.

known.

Bottlenose dolphins can swim 5 to 12 kilometres per hour, although they can reach up to 32 km/h.

Like

cows, dolphins have more than one stomach. They have two in fact: one that stores food and one that digests.

A common hunting method among dolphins is to herd a school of fish into a tight ball, then take turns ploughing through the centre, feeding.

When

dolphins sleep, they only shut down one hemisphere of their brain, remaining conscious enough to breathe and look out for predators.

Dolphins love to play. They often play with seaweed, or play-fight with one another — they even harass other sea creatures.

The largest dolphin is the “killer whale”

(orca), which can grow to 6.1 meters long.

The most known dolphin is the “bottlenose dolphin” which can grow to 2.52.8 meters.

Dolphins

are warm-blooded and their internal temperature is around 36 degrees. To conserve this temperature they are surrounded by a thick layer of fat called “blubber” just below the skin.

Dolphins can make a unique signature whistle that may help individual dolphins recognize each other or perform any other kind of communication still un-

38

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Spice up your Life!

Light of India

When I first saw The Light of India’s advert in The Sentinella, advertising ‘eat as much as you like’ for 12.95€, I thought, ‘oh, that must be a buffet then.’ But when I studied the advert further I realised how wrong I was. The deal actually applied to a sit down meal, served by the waiter or waitress on duty, and it involved ordering as many dishes as one wanted.

To say I was gob smacked is an understatement. My jaw literally hit the floor and I was already excitedly pencilling a ‘curry night’ in my diary.

My boyfriend and I couldn’t wait to try out the deal, both mentally exploding at the number of dishes we planned to kill.

The Light of India, as many regulars will know, started with a restaurant along El Faro in Torrox Costa – the road which leads to the lighthouse. Now a new Light

of India restaurant has opened its doors, located at Laguna Beach, on the right hand side.

When I first walked in, I was struck with the beauty of the venue. Sheets of material draped the walls, accompanied by interesting wall textures, set off by a smooth blend of relaxing colours. The amazing smell awoke my stomach in a flash!

I quickly noted that there were two floors and that the waitresses were smiley and friendly. One explained the ordering process. Basically, from the full menu, diners can choose as many starters as they want to begin. Then when they’re done, mains are chosen, and lastly desserts. Two different kinds of pappadums are placed on the table as soon as you arrive, which keeps the taste buds occupied while awaiting the starters!

For me the deal was super as it made me select dishes I usually didn’t have the balls to try. After all, if I didn’t like it, I could always order something else. I ordered a chickpea salad, sagaloo, white tandoori fish marinated in yoghurt and anis, then the usual rice and naan bread. My boyfriend ordered a couple of starters, one main course and he shared my rice and naan.. So we weren’t overly greedy. And I would urge other diners to have the same philosophy. After all, there are a lot of starving people in the world, so waste not, want not! Also you simply MUST try the dessert. I forget the name, but just ask for the ‘little ball with ice cream.’ It’s divine and I have to say the only time I’ve EVER tried an Indian dessert and I was impressed.

To conclude I’d say that the cuisine is among the best Indian food I’ve ever tasted, the venue is divine, the service is impeccable and the deal is just indescribable. Long may they continue serving it!

C all: 6 64 210 468 or email: sales@thesentinel la.com

See advert on page 53

To advertise call 664 210 468

39

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts Sentences to offend‌

Put Downs

He has depth, but only on the surface.

Down deep inside, he is shallow.

He has more faces than Mount Rushmore.

He has one brain cell, and it is fighting for dominance.

kennel.

Hello - tall, dark and obnoxious!

How many years did it take you to learn how to breathe?

I always wanted to be a troubleshooter but now I see you are not worth it!

He is always lost in thought -- it's unfamiliar territory.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

He is so conceited his eyes behold each other perfectly.

He is so short his hair smell like feet.

He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

He named the street he owned after his wife. What a grand statement of his love for her; for she was cold, hard, cracked, and only gets plowed around the holidays.

He smells the coffee, but can't find the pot / a cup.

He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

He'd steal the straw from his mother's 40

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.

I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.

I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.

I'd hate to see you go, but I'd love to watch you leave!

I'd like to give you a going-away present, but you have to do your part.

I'd rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you.

I'd slap you senseless ... but I can't spare three seconds!

If brains were rain, you`d be a desert.

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

I'm blonde, what's your excuse?

To advertise call 664 210 468

TONY PHILLIPS

Terence Seaton & J Daniel Renovations & Refurbishments Professional Builders with over Pai g ntin ilin 20 years experience g

T

El e ing ctri b ci t y m Pl u Free advice / no obligations www.jdanielconstrucciones.com

Eng. Tel: 664 459 868

VI LLA LOOK IN G SH ABB Y?

Let me give you a free quote for re-painting at affordable prices.

Exteriors/Interiors, Rejas & Garden Walls My team can help.

Phone Nick in Vinuela

On: 6 7 6 49 1 8 11

ACADEMIA GALA

SPANISH COURSES INTENSIVE & CONVERSATIONAL ALL LEVELS AVAILABLE Including for children starting school C/Fragata, 6, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 54 40 39

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

SKY INSTALLED from €350 Includes all BBC, ITV, CH4 & CH5 DISH ONLY FITS 1.2m €250, 1.3m €300 Spanish, German also installed Service calls, realignment, relocation, etc, from €50 Call Paul 669 943 452 Velez Malaga All areas covered Coming soon FREESAT Recordable Boxes

NEW DANCE CLASSES (Torre Del Mar)

* Modern * Ballet * Acro Dance E v e r y W e d n e s d ay 4pm - 5pm (4-6yr olds) 5pm - 6pm (7 - 10 yr olds) 5 euros per hour

For details call: Fiona 652 825 527

Montessori Nursery, Calle Laureano Casquero

D&S ELECTRICS

A professional service for all your electrical needs *Illuminate your outside spaces with garden lighting *Electrical repairs and installations for the home *Commercial and industrial work undertaken Call for a free quote Dave 616 681 567 Steve 657 048 833

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

You Never Know

Watch out men, we are all very good at flying

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons She was really lucky! about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in a nearby village because of bad weather.

The TSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

42 To advertise call 664 210 468

IKEA

Collection & Assembly

Complete Kitchens & Bedrooms or just a small Chest of Drawers.

Curtains & Soft Furnishings, Picture hanging & more NO JOB TOO SMALL For quotes phone Christine or Paul on:

952 030 025 / 958 360 333 648 196 282 aariviss technologies

aariviss technologies are based in the Velez Malaga / Torre Del Mar area of La Axarquia, in Andalucia.

Web Design We specialise in web sites for small businesses anywhere in the world PC Help and Trouble-shooting Software systems help and trouble shooting Infor mation Security We can help you keep your information safe and intact

If you would like to know more about our services, go to our website, www.aariviss.com or e-mail us at: aariviss@gmail.com.

Alternatively, call us on: 686 412 877.

English Dental Technician Over 20 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640

DENTIST Dr Bakri

Dentures Implants & Dental Cosmetics Free check up for The Sentinella readers

Algarrobo Costa Torrox Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21 Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Are you ready to make the income you really want?

Serious, motivated, & driven should call:

671 879 715

w w w . S u p e r H i gh I n c o m e . c o m

Carousel

Secondhand Furniture Shop

Open 9.30am - 2pm Closed Thursdays

Book exchange available Now on ground floor! “ Ho u s e C l ea r a n ce s ”

Call Gilly on: 630 211 907

La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

The English Rose “KATIE”

Female Vocalist For All Occasions Disco & Karaoke Music to suit all ages from 40’s - 00’s Tel: Home: 951 167 998 Mob: 618 587 146 / 628 236 661 Email: bazandkatie@live.co.uk

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

BEM idiomas

For those of you following my “Learning Spanish from scratch” will know that last month I wrote about all the possible ways of being taught and learning Spainish. My diary continues...

I was amazed at how many ways there are and how they are all so effective in their own ways. 1) READING: Enables you to pronounce those words properly as well as making a mental note of how they are spelt. 2) LISTENING: Allows you to hear the pronunciation from a native Spainard, lets you translate into English and to hear the correct order of Spanish sentences. 3) PLAYING GAMES: Involves a mixture of skills, pronunciation, having the ability to remember words and having the confidence. 4) WRITING: One of the most effective ways of remembering and

44

spelling and number 5) SPEAKING: Which brings me nicely onto a NEW SESSION that will be beginning at BEM Idiomas on Friday 17th April. This is not to be missed. If you can already speak Spanish but lack, what most of us do, “the confidence”, then this is the session for you. It’s called “¡Hablamos!” (Let’s Speak) and its aim is to enable you to gain more confidence in yourself along with others in the same boat. This is not a lesson, but a relaxed session where Sandra the tutor will correct your Spanish. But there will be no books, no grammer and no written exercises. A different subject will be covered each week.

This session will cost just 6€ for existing BEM Idiomas students and 9€ for nonstudents. The session is from 12 midday to 2pm and there is the possibility of just attending 1 hour therefore being half the price. However, BEM Idiomas recommend the 2 hours for maximum effect.

Unfortunately for me I am still in the learning process, but it won’t be long and I will join you!

See main advert on page 50

To advertise call 664 210 468

Yvonne

Professional Mobile Hairdresser Nail Technician Nail Extensions Manicures / Pedicures

TEL: 679 249 868

€SCAP€ THE CREDIT CRUNCH It’s so simple, No experience required

I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY FROM HOME

S I MP L Y CA L L

0034 671 879 715

www.SuperHighIncome.com

ÜxÇáÉÇËá U |áàÜÉ

*Live music every Saturday *1st Sat every month - Quiz Mon,Wed & Thurs Menu del a Noche 10€ per person 2 courses inc. a tubo or a glass of wine

Closed Tuesdays

Brensons Bistro, Canillas de Aceituno Tel: 952 51 80 83 Mob: 663 038 255

TONY’S POKER TOOL HIRE S

MIXERS

All types of tools Chainsaw Sharpening Service

New Location Alcaucin

For more details call: 951 167 093 693 505 272 693 286 625

WACKER PLATES

Torre Montessori Nursery

New Drop ‘n’ Shop Crèche

Thursday 9-1pm No booking, 1 - 3hrs Shop in peace knowing your child is safe and happy.

OFFER: FREE 1ST SESSION 618 489 503 www.torremontessorinursery.com

CHIROPODIST (Registered) Foot & Hand Care

Treatment for Corns, Veruccas & hard skin etc...

Also Manicures, Pedicures Mon-Sat 9.30 - 14.00,17.00 - 21.00 Now doing Home Visits

C/Pizarra 40, (above bank), La Vinuela Tel: 695 243 238

European Soccer School FROM 4YRS TO 15YRS OLD

NEW! • Qualified Coaches with first aid and Child Protection; Skills Award program; Fun and Safe environment Professional Scouting Tournaments & Junior League • Toddlers Fun Football

2x Hummel • Training • Kits on • joining • course

Delivered by Professional UEFA coaches For further details or booking forms please contact me by email: ljogbolu@hotmail.com or on: 0034 697 915 833 Luke Ogbolu Director of Coaching European Soccer School

MAN & VAN!

Anytime...Anywhere

Locally based 12 cubic metres €25 per hour

S m a l l L o a d s to U . K Phone Mark: 951 321 660 669 255 968

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Funny Book Titles

The ones that were never written!

The Art of Being of Discreet - Anonymous

What Happens When You Light A Fart Hugh Gexplo Zhun

Bubbles in the Bath - Ivor Windybottom Can't Sit Still -Ivan Auflitch

Crossing a Man with a Duck - Willie Waddle A Sailor's Adventure - Ron A. Ground Green Vegetables - Brock Ali Raise Your Arms - Harry Pitt

Long Walk Home - Miss. D. Bus

Sitting on the Beach - Sandy Cheeks

Microsoft Business Practices -Eve Hill

Window Coverings - Kurt and Rod

Interesting Places Around The World Ben There & Don That

How To Dance - Sheik Yerbouti

I Must Go Again - D. I. Aria

The Importance of Telling the Truth Bill Clinton Paris Monuments - I. Phil Taurer

Wheels in China - Rick Shaw

Something Smells - I. Ben Pharting I.Q. Competitions - Samar T. Pants

Text Editing - E. Max and Vi

The Secret of Touching Your Toes - Ben Dover

How to Exercise - Eileen and Ben Dover

My Life as a Gas Station Attendant Phil R. Awp

A Devoted Husband - Bill Clinton

Embarassing Missing Items - Bikin E. Bottoms

The Bearded Chinaman - Harry Chin Magical Bed Wettings - Peter Pants

100 ways to Diet - I. M. Hungry One Wife is Best - Henry VIII

101 Things to do on a Sunny Day in England !!!

Getting Fired - Anita Job

Great Resturants - Bo Leamick

How to Remember Your Lines - Charlie Chaplin

Idiot's Guide to Babysitting - Fruit Juice

46

The View of the Skyline - Bill Ding

What Evita Left Behind - Oliver Shoes

Your Private Life Makes National News Holly Wood Hot Wiring - Nick Carrs & Joy Ryder Easy Money - Robyn Banks

The Sedan Chair - Carrie Walker

The Science of Optometry - Seymour Clearly The last supper - M. T. Potts.

To advertise call 664 210 468

P EOPLE C ARE If you need help with:

*Cleaning *Ironing

*Shopping Trips or Personal Hygiene

THEN WE CAN HELP References available.

Ca ll D enise o r Da ve on: 65 722 7 764

Swing

with Russell Lee O f S ax o p ho n e & Cl a ri n et

Parties / Weddings / Anninversarys Le s s o ns a l s o a v a i l ab le

Tel: 693 933 945 Pedicure at

Sherlocks Hairstudio

Pedicurist Margot - specialises in the treatment of diabetes and rheumatism of the foot - also nail art Tel: 608 858 983 6 Plaza de la Ermita, ARENAS (15 mins from Velez Malaga) We speak English, Dutch, Spanish and German

Spanish Number Plates with no hassle & no unnecessary expenses Sara Bright:

951 167 094 658 501 610

PATSY

M o b i le H a ir d r es s i n g

(UK Qualified) Tints, High Lights, Complete Restyles, Wedding Contracts (on request)

Tel 679562328 or email: mo r ty.mor ty@btopenw or ld.com EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY & ADULT COUNSELLING

Patricia Winspear MEd. BA. DipEd. Albert Vickers UK trained counsellor

Assessment of children with Dyslexia, learning and behaviour problems Adult counselling

Tel: 620 150 605 / 678 429 649 Email: educationandalucia@gmail.com www.educationandalucia.com

COLONIC IRRIGATION A HEALTHY MOVE

Cleaning of the Colon A detox Enjoy: clearer skin, increased energy, weight loss, mental clarity and more...

Call Eileen: 951 167 238 or 609 811 879 (near Hotel Vinuela)

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Palindromes

Lay a wallaby baby ball away, Al.

A palindrome is a word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backwards as forwards. Enjoy playing with these ones‌

A new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena.

Yo bro, free beer for boy

Tara Lee has a lad; alas, a heel, a rat.

Cigar? Toss it in a can. It is so tragic

A hero, glad Al Gore. Ha!

Lived on Decaf, Faced no Devil

I roamed under it as a tired, nude Maori Was it a car or a cat I saw?

Liam and Edna mail.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 12345678987654321

A dog, a plan, a canal: pagoda

Dana did an ad.

Keep eels asleep. Eek! =

A slut nixes sex in Tulsa.

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

I'm a lasagna ham, ma hang a salami.

Noise: Lenin is an asinine lesion.

A toyota.

A toyota's a toyota.

Star comedy by democrats.

Golf? No, sir. Prefer prison flog.

Step on no pets.

Dennis and Edna sinned.

Sinatra tall a Tartan is.

A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal - Panama.

Animals are all in a vanilla era's lamina.

God, a red nugget. A fat egg under a dog.

Ma's made la cheese, eh Cal, Edam, Sam?

No, Mel Gibson is a casino's big lemon.

Hannah's Writing Group - informal, creative & fun 1. Start Writing 2. Develop your Style 3. Get Published -1st class free -

48

Meet Torre Del Mar, Tuesdays. Call 952 553 779/645 373 433 or email hannah@streamwriting.com

To advertise call 664 210 468

IDLE HANDS TATTOO STUDIO Tattoos & Piercing ***NEW LOCATION***

Mon - Fri 12pm - 8pm Sat Appointments only (Roundabout next to Unicaja) Torrox Costa Tel: 656 752 990

School of Languages

Tots, Toddlers & Childrens Swim School Nerja Teach your child to swim from a really young age so they can enjoy their life around the swimming pools and the sea on the Costa del Sol *Convenient & Affordable Classes *Courses start slowly and gently *6 Weekly Courses *0 - 6 years+ C a ll : 6 62 4 63 4 52 ww w .s w i m ba b yn e r j a . co m

SPANISH COURSES

NEW LOCATION!!

DON’T MISS US... info@bemidiomas.com

www.bemidiomas.com Camino viejo de Malaga, 12C - Velez Malaga

952 54 92 33

No need to take your car to a garage. Call us today & we will come to you.

No.1 for auto aircon Service & repair

Phone: 616 264 067 / 951 321 446 Email: mike@autocoolspain.com Website: www.autocoolspain.com

Argentinian Meats cooked on the grille

Avda. Tore Tore Torre del Mar Tel: 952 54 15 92 Mob: 687 232 149

Have you always wanted to Draw and Paint?

Weekly drawing for beginners course Presented by top international artist/tutor Heather Gail Harman B A hons (Leading to Painting for Beginners) Courses at: Puente don Manuel (Tuesdays) Canillas de Aceituno (Mondays) Benajarafe (Thursdays) Lake Vinuela - (Fridays)

Private Tuition Service available For details, prices and availability contact Heather;

Tel: 951 167 146 Mob: 628 306 371

New Year Special Offers

All A la Carte Meals reduced by 1€ ********** Sunday - Buffet 13.00 - 16.00 Adults - 12.50€ Chidren under 12 - 6.50€ (inc. starters, various mains, vegetarian, rice & bread)

**********

Wednesdays Only

Special Dinner - 9.50€ 3 courses - Tea or Coffee (Tandori or prawns are extra)

Open: 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 everyday Avda. Andalucia, Blq. Jupiter Pasaje Timon 2 Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 95 254 77 98 / 665 675 053

B a r Tr i a n a English Breakfast, hot and cold snacks

served daily 8am - 2.30pm Pool table, dartboard, terrace.

Quiz night Tues 8.30pm start Sunday lunch last Sunday of every month.

Curry nights, paella and barbeques.

Benamargosa Road Triana

Telephone 618373316

BE SAFE COSTA DEL SOL

FOR A PROFESSIONAL INEXPENSIVE CHIMNEY SWEEPING & MAINTENANCE SERVICE

Telephone: Russ Heath

654 184 242

Advertise here for as little as 22.50 € per month when you sign up for 6 months.

Call: 664 210 468

CONNECT DIRECT

Sell your property direct to the buyer

IT’S SO EASY!!

SAVE YOURSELF THOUSANDS!!

Simply register by phone, email on on our website

email: enquiries@connectdirect4property.com www.connectdirect4property.com Tel: 0034 647 590 566 (English & German)

No Commission No Agent Fees

Dont dream the dream

WE ARE THE SPECIALISTS in PROPERTY SOURCING/SALES/RENTALS AND MANAGEMENT

Our track record speaks for itself, so SAVE time and money by giving us a call Tina/Geoff 0034 666135516 email: officespanishmanagemen@yahoo.co.uk

Specials in Paella, Prawn pil pil & Sardines Open 11am - 11pm (Closed Tues & Sun evenings)

Edf. Asuncion, 7 Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 10 51

at

After 3 successful years at El Faro, we have now opened

Laguna Beach, Torrox Costa .

Laguna Beach is an Indian restaurant with a difference.

We offer an "All you can eat" menu, which is all freshly cooked to order.

Also you do not have to move from your table; everything is served to you! .

In order to make the best of this menu, we will serve your food to you in courses.

We do not compromise on the quality of the food or the standard of the service. .

Our friendly staff are always on hand to assist you in making your choices.

Separate upstairs dining area available for parties and celebrations.

.

Adults - â‚Ź12.95 / Children under 10 - â‚Ź7.95

Light of India, Laguna Beach, Torrox Costa, (next to Laguna Sport) Tel: 951 047 943 Mob: 627 141 966 Opening Times Full menu: 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 Indian Tapas Menu: 16.00 - 18.00

95 11 67 289 95 11 67 674

95 11 67 289 95 11 67 674

M ake sure you make the right move & turn right at Venta Baja crossroads to Arkwrights Aladdin’s Cave!

(Nicknamed by all who visit us).

APRIL OFFER

10% OFF ALL PET FOOD

ARKWRIGHTS NOW HAVE TOP SELLING NOVELS FOR 5€, INCLUDING HORRID HENRY & HANNAH MONTANA FOR THE CHILDREN, ALSO PUZZLE BOOKS GALORE @ 2€.

AS ADVERTISED ON SKY TV, THANE DIRECT PRODUCTS ARE AVAILABLE IN SPAIN, NOW AT ARKWRIGHTS INCLUDING THE FANTASTIC FLAVORWAVE OVEN, THE BEST WAY TO COOK HEALTHY & TASTY MEALS AT THE SAME TIME SAVING MONEY, USES 80% LESS ENERGY THAN STANDARD OVENS, IT WILL BAKE BOIL, BBQ, FRY, ROAST, GRILL & STEAM. CHECK THEIR WEBSITE FOR ALL THEIR PRODUCTS: WWW.THANEDIRECT.CO.UK

95 11 67 289 95 11 67 674

95 11 67 289 95 11 67 674

ANOTHER REVOLUTIONARY IDEA SELLING AT ARKWRIGHTS “THE SARESS”, THE ULTIMATE BEACH DRESS, NO TIES, KNOTS OR FASTENERS, THEY ARE EXTREMELY LIGHTWEIGHT & ELEGANT AS SEEN ON GMTV. IN OUR SUPERMARKET WE HAVE THE FOLLOWING OFFERS

12 BEEF OXO'S 1.50€, “I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER” 1.20€ 2LTR JUCEE 1.80€; PATAKS 540 G SAUCES 2.80€; HEINZ SOUPS 1€, PICK N MIX 1€ 100G, SALAD CREAM 695G 1.40€, YORKSHIRE TEA 80’S 3€, PLUMROSE CORNED BEEF 3€, WHITWORTH SAGE & ONION STUFFING 60CTS., SILVERSKIN ONIONS 710G 1.40€, ATORA LIGHT 2.50€, 300G MCVITIES RICH TEA 1.80€, WALKERS CRISPS .60CTS, HEINZ BEANS 4 FOR 3€, THE LIST AS USUAL IS ENDLESS, WE KEEP TRYING FOR YOU AND SPEND ALL OUR TIME FINDING OFFERS, AS WELL AS ALL YOUR FAVOURITE WELL KNOWN BRANDS. BY POPULAR DEMAND WE NOW HAVE A RANGE OF ASIAN HOME GOURMET. DONT FORGET EASTER SUNDAY 12TH APRIL!

Las Yucas, Avda Andalucia 64, Torre del Mar www.casa-terreno.net and www.casa-terreno.com info@casa-terreno2.net and info@casa-terreno.com ALMACHAR Ref.: 1919 Very nice and typical Andalusia village house (100m2), new reformed, 3 beds, bath, beautiful views to the mountains, terrace, south-west orientation. €147,000

CHILCHES-VILLAGE Ref.: 1501 Beautiful house (95m2) in a very quiet area with marvellous sea views, 2 beds, bath, huge f/f kitchen, fully furnished, lovely terrace, double glazed, communal pool & garden (165m2 plot), 5 min to beach. terrace REDUCED €199,000

TORRE DEL MAR Ref.: 2006 Superb penthouse (77m2) with fantastic sea view, 2nd beach line and central, 1 bed, 1 bath, completely reformed, south orientation, 84m2 terrace , furnished, store room.

REDUCED €204,750

TORROX Ref.: 1646 Lovely chalet (105m2) with magnificent sea and mountain views, 4 beds, 3 baths, f/f kitchen, fitted wardrobes, open fire place, several terraces (1.800m2 plot), 3km track.

REDUCED €239,000

Telephone: 952 965 724 :: 649 123 068

BENAJARAFE Ref.: 1787 Beautiful chalet (256m2) with fantastic sea views, 183m2 plot, altogether there are 3 apartments, each apartment has 3 bedrooms, living room, kitchen & bath. Only 800m to the beach.

Able for a hostal or a big family.

REDUCED €252,000

VENTA BAJA/ALCAUCIN Ref.: 1588 Fantastic villa (128m2), wonderful mountain views, 3 beds, 2 baths, fitted kitchen, partly furnished, chimney, several terraces (580m2 plot), Jacuzzi, BBQ, storage room, pool 9 x 5m, good area.

REDUCED €260,000

SAYALONGA Ref.: 915 Luxury villa (200m2) with breathtaking views, 3 beds, 2 baths, toilet, independent guest apartment, several terraces (2.500m2 plot), heated pool, A/C, autom. gates, water deposit, conservatory, garage, no dirt track-1km to town. €420,000 CANILLAS DE ACEITUNO

Ref:. 1870

Wonderful villa (170m2), beautiful terrace with lovely view, 4 beds, 2 baths, log fire, f/f kitchen, private pool and garden, good access, small vineyard producing moscatel grapes (5.000m2 plot). Additional parcel of land attached to house of approx, 14.795sqm also available for sale.

www.casa-terreno.com

€450,000

www.casa-terreno.net

Call Javier at: 666 13 88 86 or email: magnolialandscaping@yahoo.co.uk Free quotations and good prices

29740

Road opposite Police Station Open: 12pm - 4pm Weds - Sun 8pm - 11pm Mon - Sun

T H E M O S Q U I T O S C R E E N C O M PA N Y WITH A MANUFACTURING FACILITY INTRODUCING 2 NEW MOSQUITO SCREENS TO SPAIN THE MAGNETIC INSECT SCREEN

Top of the range 100% insect proof Magnetic seal allows simple window operation PVC Frame fastens to window or brickwork Easy to fit or remove for cleaning Suitable for domestic & commercial applications For the DIY enthusiast, this screen can be ordered and comes with easy to follow

manufacturing and measuring instructions in English

THE ALUMINIUM HINGED SCREEN *A simple but very effective screen *Powder coated decorative profile *Suitable for Internal or External applications *Also American style swing doors At the Mosquito Screen Company, we now manufacture all types of screens, from Aluminium Sliders, Roller Blinds and the above. We also deliver to the trade and public within 3 days of order.

NOW INTRODUCING: Aluminium Double Glazed Windows & Doors Balcony Enclosures in Double Glazing or Mosquito Screening Come and see me at the Indoor Farmers Market Trapiche every Tuesday We also guarantee we will not be beaten on price or quality.

For more information or free quotation, please call:

Te l / F a x : 9 5 2 5 7 3 5 7 7 / 6 9 0 2 9 6 9 5 2 638 499 140 or 665 3 92 299

Standard Oven 49€

Let us restore your dirty oven to it’s original condition. Using our caustic free and toxin free products, we safely remove grease, fat & burnt on carbon deposits in about 2 hours. Ovens, cookers, stoves, agas, ranges, hobs, extractors (including filter replacements), barbeques, outside ovens & microwaves.

*Is your oven in need of a clean? *Have you got visitors arriving soon? *Do you hate cleaning your oven? *Have you recently purchased a home with a dirty oven? *Are you renting your property? *Are you trying to sell your home? *Does your oven smoke when turned on?

LET BRILLIANT OVENS DO THE HARD WORK FOR YOU! NO MESS, NO FUMES, NO FUSS & IMMEDIATELY SAFE TO USE Tel: (0034) 952 033 503 Mobile: (0034) 699 272 516 Email: info@brilliantovens.com Website: www.brilliantovens.com

T 51 el: 7 27 3

0 : ob 02 M 49 1 6 60

Benamargosa

95 2

www.la-vaqueria.com

Peel Of fs P

ARTS & CRAFTS CENTRE Card

Blanks

Decorative Stickers Charms & Brads D Embellishments E

Rub

Scrapbook Albums S

Fibres,

3D Decoupage 3

Ons

Hand

Made Paper

MO VIN G

IN

Yarns & Ribbons

Benamargosa

T Shirt Printing

Your own design, photo or logo transferred onto a T shirt

Coming Soon

Printing mugs and plates (dishwasher proof) and clocks We are at the top of C/Arroyo Limon.

Open Tues-Sat 10am-2pm and Tues-Fri 5pm-8pm MORNING COFFEE & FRESHLY BAKED CAKES

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

.... . .. .. .

Rio Gordo

yo

....

rr o C/A

Cutar

Limon

ALL ABOUT US

We are here

To Velez Malaga

For us at LA VAQUERIA, April is turning out to be a very exciting month with many changes taking place; some almost immediately with more planned for the not too distant future so make sure you read The Sentinella each month to keep up to date!

The first major change is the arrival of the printers, BENAWARE. Whether you would like your design on a T-shirt, dishwasher proof plate or mug, you may allow your imagination to run riot as you design those extra special personalised gifts, souvenirs or business promotions.

(See advert on opposite page) Sadly, The Furniture Barns are leaving us and we wish them well. The general consensus of opinion amongst regular visitors and crafters is that the old barn should now be used to expand the shop, increasing the ever growing range of art & craft materials. We will continue to sell hand made furniture and provide the made to measure service with some of our restored pieces on display also.

We will be stocking jewellery making products and Japanese glass beads.

For a long time I have been eager to include textile crafts and now have a section given over to patchwork fabrics and batiks with a changing display of quilts, beadwork, embroidery and lace.

As the demand for food to both eat in and take away has increased there will be a dedicated café area in addition to the garden tables, with a wider range of home baked goodies available daily.

LA VAQUERIA has developed from its humble beginnings into a thriving arts & crafts centre with many artists and craftsmen involved, many of whom will now have the opportunity to display their work and may be here from time to time when you visit to discuss various aspects of their work.

Classes continue as per normal in spite of the continuing road works (Check on the website or contact me for a monthly newsletter). I had hoped to tell you that we have access again but unfortunately that is not quite possible. However, progress is being made as the damage from the storms has been repaired and the workers have put in a tremendous effort to get the job back on schedule.

Once again, many thanks to all of you intrepid adventurers who have persevered……. I rather feel a street party coming on, don’t you?!

To advertise call 664 210 468

61

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

D RE AM O F E DE N GA R D E N I N G S E R V I C E S

General Maintenance “Water Systems” Fencing Hard and Soft Landscaping

Contact: Don Brown “The Sentinella’s Gardener” 30 Years Experience Phone: 685 584 829 dreamofeden@yahoo.com

We have great please in welcoming back Don Brown to help us with our Spring shrubs.

have available. When you have prepared your bed, a good vegetable to start with is potato. Planted now, you should have nice new potatoes for eating in June/July. Plant the potatoes 5cm below the surface 45cm apart. As soon as the shoots appear, pull some soil around them with a rake and continue over the following weeks until the ridges are 30cm high.

Using the same method of preparing your bed, another successful vegetable you can grow is the broad bean. Sow the seeds 5cm deep and 15cm apart, in double rows 25cm apart (cultivation).

Weed and water as necessary. Pinch out shoot tips to prevent black fly infestation. Once five flower clusters have opened, support with canes and string.

I have grown potatoes and broad beans over the last few years with excellent results, and these should not be a problem for anyone starting up a vegetable garden. My vegetable plot is approximately 12m x 4m now, but I would point out that it has taken me six years to obtain a reasonable cultivated area.

As well as growing a varied selection of vegetables, I also incorporate flowers that can be cut for the house. At the moment, I am cutting fragrant multicoloured bunches of freesias, and hope, shortly to be cutting sweet peas (May/June) Another flow, easily grown from seed, is the pot marigold.

Gardening Time

With the end of a very cold and wet winter, now is the ideal time to plant out new trees and shrubs. With the high moisture levels in the soil, anything planted out now, should have a good head start.

Any heavy pruning of shrubs and climbers should be carried out before the end of this month, and feeding with a balanced fertilizer will be of great benefit.

This is also an ideal time of the year to carry out hard landscaping projects.

Concrete and mortar mixes will set much better than in the higher temperatures we have later in the year.

Check out watering systems for leaks and replace batteries if necessary, as it is not too long before we will need to water our gardens regularly. For good results with your pot grown plants, start a regular watering of liquid fertiliser, at two week intervals, until the end of summer.

For those of us who have available space now is the ideal time to start a vegetable plot. There is nothing better than eating a delicious meal with your own fresh vegetables straight from the garden. Start with a small area and make it bigger as you require more space, or feel like getting more adventurous with your vegetable choices. Prepare beds one metre wide, and as long Don Browne as you need. Dig the bed over and incor- Email: dreamofeden@yahoo.co.uk porate as much organic matter as you 62 To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Cancer Care Hospice needs quality furniture in good saleable condition (sofas, beds, dining tables/chairs, bookshelves, dressers, armchairs etc etc) anything you don't need, or surplus to requirements, PLEASE don't dump, just ring Tony on... 661 826 654 or 638 108 564. Anything you give, helps us to raise much needed funds for our Cancer Hospice in Benalmadena.

How times are changing!!

Funny Pics

To advertise call 664 210 468

63

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts Dear DSS…

Benefits

1. Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in December.

2. I am writing to the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born 2years-old. When do I get my money?

3. Mrs Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

4. I cannot get sick pay. I have had six children. Can you tell me why?

5. I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

7. Please find for certain if my husband

is dead, as the man I am living with can’t do a thing until he knows.

8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.

11. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

12. My husband got laid off from his job two weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.

N E W S A T U R D AY M A R K E T Every Saturday 10am till 2pm

H O T E L A R C O D E L SO L , C O L M E N A R Situated on the main A356 road towards Casabermaja

Enjoy a visit with all the family.

A superb selection of over 40 different stalls including: HOMEMADE PIES, PASTRIES, CAKES, QUICHES, CURRIES, SOUP, BEDDING, JEWELLERY, SUNGLASSES, HANDBAGS, DVDS, CHEESE PLANTS, PET, SKY, BLINDS, BOOKS, AVON & MANY MORE Enjoy everything from a Coffee, Tapas or a full meal in the Restaurant C O N TAC T:

64

625 914 427 / 665 47 5 27 0

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

w w w.thesentinella.com w.thesen tinella.com Do Not Miss Out!!

Ju sstt 1 5 euros euro s f or o r 1 2 mo m o n t h s ! with Weblink or... 1 0 eeu u ro s fo f o r 12 months without weblink on our new Business Finder Have a look today... http://www.thesentinella.com /directory/index.php

Don’t miss out on this great offer.

Email: sales@thesentinella.com or call 664 210 468 for further information

LET THE WORLD SEE YOUR BUSINESS!

Slumdog Millionaire

$Share’oscope$

Here we go again, peeping through the Shareoscope to see what meets our curious eyes.

Mr Sharemaster has chosen Northgate as this months share. He has purchased (a pretence purchase) 1250 shares at 80p per pop.

Northgate is a holding company for companies and brands, providing commercial vehicle solutions to businesses. It buys vans, trucks and cars, rents them out and eventually sells them on.

A quick look back over last months shares and their current prices: Jan, Sepura, 34p Feb, Huntsworth, 40p Mar, Ferrexpo, 57p

Log in next month to check out the May share.

Film Review

Jamal, an 18-year-old who comes from nothing but is on the verge of winning more money than anyone’s ever won before on the Indian version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” The game show’s host (an ideally smarmy and egotistical Anil Kapoor) grows unshakably suspicious as Jamal prepares to face one last question for the top prize of 20 million rupees and has him hauled in for police questioning.

Jamal reflects upon the desperate times he shared with his older brother after their mother was killed in a savage antiMuslim attack. He remembers the cruelty of the figure who forced them and other orphans

into slavery. And he recalls fondly the time he spent with Latika.

Maybe it’s a bit too clever that every question in the game show just happens to have some connection to Jamal’s vividly Dickensian life, from his encounter with a blind child panhandler to the unfortunate reason he knows what a Colt .45 is. But that’s the point: witnessing the uplift of the charmed new life Jamal can now call his own.

The ending to this film is a joy, so please make sure you stick around for it. After all the heavy, emotionally wrenching material that preceded it for two hours, it’s the perfect final answer.

Our Rating: *****/***** Top marks

To advertise call 664 210 468

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Driving In Spain

Right side of the road – right side of the law?

North and being ‘economic with the truth’ might get you a certificate of insurance that will fool the Guardia Civil Traffic officer, but in the event of an accident watch how the Insurance under writers look for every opportunity not to pay out!

So….take heed ex-pats, don’t take my word for it but check it out. If your car is here in Spain for more than 182 days then the law states that must be registered with Spanish plates – or leave the country for a continuous period of 6 months. The press release from Banco Halifax Hispania reinforces this, “anyone planning to stay in Spain longer than this (6 months) must officially import their car”. In effect, to be sure of satisfying your insurance company it must be registered somewhere – if in the UK, then it must have a current MOT, or in Spain with a current ITV. The place of registration and type of certificate of road worthiness go together. A temporary ITV is valid for insurance purposes. Note well, that a UK plated car can be insured in Spain year after year without being

How often have you found yourself discussing ‘driving’ in Spain? It’s probably more often than you discuss the weather and the conversation usually turns towards examples of what has been witnessed as we travel the roads, autovias and town streets of our area. The notion of a Spanish Highway Code is often thought to be, if I may paraphrase Captain Blackadder, ‘the greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service’. Wry smiles, shrugged shoulders and gasps of despair accompany such debates along with the ‘you wouldn’t believe what we saw today’ statement, but the truth is, we would believe it!

However, to think there are no ‘rules of the road’ or laws pertaining to driving would be a serious mistake to make.

Whilst most of these laws might be honoured, more in the breach that the observance, it would be a foolish person who mentally internalises them as not worthy of consideration and practice. If I may give a couple of examples….. “The wearing of seat belts (front and back) is compulsory”, ‘Oh yeah?’ I hear you say having just seen the ex-stock car race family saloon complete with two children, wife, dog and shopping crammed into the front seat. “You may not use a mobile phone whilst driving”…..enough said!

“A stop sign means stop – It is not acceptable to roll over if there is nothing coming. You must bring your car to a complete stop”. It is generally accepted that the word ‘Stop’ does not exist in Spanish…and this does seem to apply to the concept of the word also when it appears on a road sign!

“It is compulsory to use the left side indicator to tell other road users of your intention to overtake” – difficult to see when the car following you is so close you can’t even see the headlights in your rear-view mirror! And so on…….

If this isn’t enough, then there’s the question of ITV, insurance and registration! On these three issues the ‘urban legends’ abound! However, the law is very clear….and if you are in doubt check with your insurance company – and tell them the truth. Doing a Colonel 66 To advertise call

THE DOG HOUSE While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog.

*Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks

*Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call

*Gourmet Meals if Required

‘ONLY THE BEST FOR YOUR PAL’

Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: philipclayton_1@msn.com Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog airlines.uk

Recommended

664 210 468

Refs Available

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

registered here, because the insurance is effected on the presumption that the vehicle is travelling to and fro between the UK and Spain. Thus says Insurance Broker Mark Seviour, “a Spanish insurance is valid for a UK plated vehicle here in Spain, but the ITV or MOT must be current and your road tax must be paid”.

And Mark knows more than a thing or two about insurance! www.seviour-insurance.com Mark also points out that in the event of a claim, resulting from an accident, the insurance company “may request copies of ITV/MOT, road tax, vehicle documentation (logbook or Spanish equivalent) etc. If these are not in order, this forms the grounds for a claim to be refused.”

Christopher Dann of: www.carimportinspain.com (a really good website) makes it all so clear – “I have formed the opinion that the average Brit arrives in Spain and relies solely on other non Spanish speaking Brits for their information. Last week, for example, I was told by one of our clients that he had registered his car in the UK as SORN (Statutory Off Road Notification) over three years ago. I pointed out that if it was registered as SORN in the UK then it cannot be used on any European road as road tax had not been paid and the bi-lateral agreement between EU member state countries regarding road tax only lasts for 182 days. His reply was that his friend told him that SORN only applies to the UK??? I rest my case. The simple rule that I tell anyone who asks me is that all cars in Europe have to be fully road legal in their country of registration. Therefore, in the case of a UK registered vehicle, it must display a current road tax disc and have a current MOT from the UK. The insurance underwriter should also be based in the UK and they should be informed that the car has left the UK.” I guess the ‘it won’t happen to me’ syndrome still survives the move south to the sun, but is, I suggest, best left to those younger than many of us. In my experience, as I get older, I find that if it can happen, it probably will – and I will go some way to avoid unnecessary stress and worry. So my advice is to observe the rules of the road and ‘get legal’. The last thing you need is to have your car impounded for over-staying it’s welcome, as several cases recently have demonstrated, or your insurance

claim rejected on the ‘Colonel North’ principle and find yourself defending your actions to the Guardia Civil alongside a civil claim from any victim denied an insurance pay-out. (And the insurance company can ask for proof of the vehicle having been in the UK for 6 months of the year.) As Christopher Dann says so eloquently, despite having his tongue firmly in his cheek, “If you are still in doubt as to the legality of your car then simply ask your insurance company for a letter stating they are aware that you are a permanent resident in Spain but that you are still driving a UK registered car with no tax or MOT but they are quite happy to carry on insuring you on a fully comprehensive basis. Once you have that letter, keep it with you at all times”. You know, I recently saw a bumper sticker for sale that said ‘WATCH OUT FOR THE IDIOT BEHIND ME’…….I should have bought it!

Terry Bishop Canillas de Aceituno In the UK Terry worked closely with the police and courts on a range of issues.

The Nerja Hire Centre

***NEW LOCATION*** Long established family run business offering you the following service: LOCAL REMOVALS FULL OR PART LOADS NO JOB TOO SMALL IKEA COLLECTIONS Ring for a no obligation quote.

Come and look at our large display GOOD QUALITY SECONDHAND FURNITURE DOMESTIC HIRE We install BRITISH SATELLITE.

Contact Chris or Jackie: 952 522 687 / 660 962 327 691 552 459

e-mail: nerjahirecentre@terra.es

website: www.nerja-hire.com Ctra. Nerja-Frigiliana, Km. 1-4, Nerja

To advertise call 664 210 468

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Computer Angel

STRUGGLING WITH COMPUTER OR INTERNET PROBLEMS ?

BILINGUAL ENGLISH/SPANISH SPEAKER CAN GUIDE YOU THROUGH:

!

!

Call Chema: 654 403 146 !

Crazy Notices!

Some clever advertising signs from around the World...

Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello, can we pick your nose?”

Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

Sign at the psychic’s Hotline: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

On Maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

At a Towing Company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an Electricians truck: “Let us remove your shorts”.

Outside a Muffler Shop: 68

“No appointment necessary, we’ll hear you coming.”

Seen on a Pakistani run builders van in Bradford: “You’ve been ripped off by the cowboys so now try the Indians.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!”

On a Taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff”.

At a tyre shop in Streatham: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

Plumber: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

Vets clinic in Manchester: “All unattended children given a free kitten.”

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Tiffany’s

All change at Tiffany’s

Tiffany’s Bar in Puente don Manuel is changing hands from the 1st April. The new owners, Anne and Alfonso, will be ready to welcome you at the bar from the 1st and on the 11th April there will be a grand opening party, featuring the entertainer Michael Anthony, all the way from Benidorm. Join them for drinks, canapés and dancing from 8.00pm.

Anne and Alfonso are well known in the area, (many people will know Anne from her Spanish classes) and they plan to build on the excellent reputation Tiffany’s currently enjoys.

Anne and Alfonso plan to keep all of the old favourites; Quiz Night, Karaoke, Happy Hour and Bingo and have many exciting things planned throughout the coming months (watch The Sentinella for forthcoming events).

We will continue with the delicious food menu, Full English breakfast and Sunday lunches (booking advisable).

Internet facilities and printing are available and we will be adding a photocopier too.

Food and bar snacks are also available. Watch our Special board for daily changes.

See main advert on page 76

PET TAXI UK * FRANCE * SPAIN

TRAVELLING IN AIR CONDITIONED VEHICLE DELIVERED DOOR TO DOOR

PETS STAY IN PET FRIENDLY HOTELS ACCOMPANIED TRAVEL AVAILABLE TEL:

(0044) 7850 575862 (0034) 667 235 205 email: pettaxitransport@hotmail.com To advertise call 664 210 468

69

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Countries of The World

Number Six in the A-Z list, is a Portugese territory from the 16th century to 1975 and one of the world’s poorest countries, with life expectancy among the lowest in Africa.

currently investing in its infrastructure as it prepares to host the 2010 African Nations Soccer Cup.

Main Reasons not to go there – Despite advancements in infrastructure and a dramatically improved security situation, travel in Angola remains the preserve of adventurers and diehards.

Biggest Celebrity – None

National Sports – Football and basketball.

Angola

Population – 15,000,000 Language – Portugese Located – South Africa Capital City – Luanda Currency – Kwanza Religion – Christian Main Exports – Petroleum Literacy Rate – 42% Life Expectancy – 40 years G.D.P Per Capita – US $1,700 Total Area – 1,246,700km2

Famous for – Angola is the second largest petroleum and diamond productor in sub-Saharan Africa

Amazing But True – According to an international Monetary Fund, more than $4 billion in oil receipts disappeared from Angola’s treasury in the 2000s.

Kennels

*Cats and dogs both welcome *Generous sized kennels & runs *Extra large ones for 2/3 family pets *Large safe enclosed play area *Delivery and collection service *Full grooming service on Sundays *Dried food and treats included *Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000sq metres of fenced Almond Groves.

Wagtails is located within peaceful almond groves, Alhama de Granada

Infamous for – The 27-year-long civil war that finally ended in 2002

Main Reasons to go there – Angola is 70

To advertise call 664 210 468

For bookings or more information please call: 655 579792 645 659935 www.wagtails.es

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts

Sentinella Fable

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; It just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the Donkey realised what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quietened down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy: Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less NOW ...........

Enough of that crap ..

The donkey later came back, And bit the farmer who had tried to bury 72

him.

The gash from the bite got infected and The farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Party Time in Torrox to help Malaga Children’s Home

LIVE – the expat charity supporting the Malaga Children’s Home – is holding a fundraising party day in Torrox Costa at the El Ancla beach restaurant on Saturday 18 April starting at 1pm until late.

Some of the best live bands around: Not to Fall, E1-11, Broken English, Chameleon, Silver Fox, and More will provide the music and there is an opportunity to see CAR 1, the hottest new addition to four wheels on the Costa del Sol. A dance demonstration by Energya, side shows, bouncy castle, craft stall, bric-a-brac, lucky dip, guess the name of the teddy bear and Arkwrights in Puente don Manuel will be organizing their own tombola stall, so if anyone has anything they wish to donate to be put on this stall, please drop your donation into Arkwrights and they will ensure that this gets

MOVE IT! WITH MARK JOHNSON

R E M O VA L S & L I G H T H A U L A G E

Local, distance, Sp ai n-U K - U K-Sp a in REGULAR T RIP S M a n & Va n H i r e A v ai la ble

...................................

OWNER DRIVER, NERJA BASED, MANY YEARS EXPERIENCE RELIABLE SERVICE .............................................

Call or email for a free quote Tel: 620459908 email: marknerja@hotmail.com

put with their donations and will hopefully raise a ton of money for L.I.V.E. Brian Marsh, chairman of LIVE said: “Everyone is welcome to join in the fun of the day. We believe we have something for everyone to enjoy at the same time as raising much-needed funds for the Children’s Home in Malaga. We expect a big turn out but the more the merrier”.

In addition to live entertainment and old style fête attractions, there will be a BBQ running throughout the day and, of course, the El Ancla bar.

To give the atmosphere of an old fashioned-fayre they are looking for groups who would offer their time and ideas to raise money for the Home. For example, a bric-a-brac stall, lucky dip, guess the name of the teddy bear, Tombola and many more. In addition, the grounds of the restaurant can hold a large number of stalls that they would offer at €15 per pitch should any vender wish to come and sell their wares.

LIVE has been supporting the Children’s Home – La Ciudad de los Niños - for five years. LIVE pays for days out for the children, has helped to refurbish the dormitories, and is fundraising to provide a new pool for the home that has lost most of its sports facilities to the new motorway construction.

You will find El Ancla on the old N340a coast road as you drive east leaving Torrox Costa in the direction of Nerja.

L.I.V.E. brings so much joy to the children

To advertise call 664 210 468

73

Prices start from just 20€ FREE delivery*

The Beer’s Prayer

Our lager

Which art in barrels

Hallowed be thy drink

Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk) At home as it is in the tavern

Give us this day our foamy head And forgive us our spillage

As we forgive those who spill against us

And lead us not into incarceration But deliver us from hangovers

For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager Barmen 74

For more information please call: 9 51 90 4 04 7 o r 66 4 2 10 4 68 Or come and see me every Tuesday at the Country Farmer’s Market, Trapiche or every Saturday at Hotel Arco del Sol, Colmenar *f r e e d e l iv e r y in Ax a r q u i a a r e a on ly

Chillow

Summer’s on it’s way (apparently), so now is the time to start thinking about those hot restless nights...

A Chillow for everyone. There are three products in the Chillow range. The original Chillow (30€) is perfect for getting you off to sleep and for use on a pillow or cushion. It is single-sided, with a wipeclean medical-grade hypoallergenic upper surface and a soft flock backing.

Chillow Plus is a doubled-sided personal cooling pad that uses the same Soothsoft technology. A new hydrosoothe membrane on the back allows double-sided cooling, while the improved inner core improves heat dissipation. It comes Velcro fixings, so that you may customise it to use as a wrap for bruised or damaged limbs. (40€) Mini Chillow is ideal for all uses and great for children. As well as being an instant soother for colds, flu and headaches, it can also be kept in the fridge as a first aid compress to soothe bumps, burns and grazes. (20€) See advert above for contact details

To advertise call 664 210 468

Superb Daily menu at â‚Ź8,45 from 1.30pm until 4pm

Specialists in International Dishes

Avenida Andalucia 56, 29740 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 965 424 Mob: 629 264 032

Opening Hours: 19.00 - 22.30 Sunday Lunch & Bank Holidays 13.30 - 15.30 Closed Tuesdays CHEZ SPICE: Road to Los Romanes, La Carpa

Call: 650 887 100

D OE S YOUR S E PT IC TA NK NEE D C LEA NIN G?

Call us and we will come & empty your septic tank.

(Certified)

CONSTRUCTIONS & RENOVATIONS

652 65 60 66 Competa, Malaga

E-mail: construccionesschmid@hotmail.com

Air Conditioning Refrigeration HOME-OFFICE-CARS

SALES-SERVICE-MAINTENANCE

Constant & comfortable indoor climates using the latest Air Conditioning & Refrigeration technology Fixed Air Conditioning systems from 550 euros

Heat & Cool your home or work place with 1 system

Tel: 951 242 183

Fax: 951 242 855

Reduce your heating bills by up to 70% by using the latest inverter Mob: 663 728 798 driven systems City & Guilds qualified engineers with over 30yrs experience

References available on request

cooltecservices@hotmail.es www.cooltecservices.com Keith Bucknell

Beautiful Holiday Villas

The new portal in Property Rentals & Sales WWW.BEAUTIFULHOLIDAYVILLAS.COM

Selling / Letting a Property?

Promoting your property through our website couldn’t be easier (or cheaper!).

For one low annual fee you get the following: * Simple & easy to use website * National & International Advertising * Easy to use admin area for listings/editing your property * 7 full sized photos! * Optional Video feature!

Call: 627 242 977

EXPATRIATE ADVISORY SERVICES ESPANA S.L. (Your peace of mind in Spain)

Tax consultants / Wills Fiscal Representation Conveyancing Residence / Business Permits Insurance Car Importation / Transfers Social Security

Translations / Interpreter Services Secretarial Services Formation of Companies Fax / Photocopying Driving Licence / Passport Renewals Legalisation of Buildings

Special Offer for the month of April 10% Discount on Registration for Membership Scheme C/ Playa Marina, 2C Edif Nautico 88 (next to Supersol) Torre del Mar, 29740, Malaga. Call: 95 254 06 11 Fax: 95 254 06 10 E-mail: info@expat-spain.com / www.expat-spain.com

Constructions Van Driel S.L.

· NEW BUILD, REFORMS, EXTENSIONS, PLUMBING. · TILING, PLASTERING, PAINTING, ELECTRICAL. · SOLAR PANELS, UNDERFLOOR HEATING, POOLS, ETC…. · PROFESIONAL TEAM WORKING AT VERY COMPETITIVE PRICES. · WE SPEAK ENGLISH, GERMAN, SPANISH, FRENCH & DUTCH. · AND FOR ADVISE AND QUOTATION, PLEASE COME TO OUR OFFICE.

We are just in front of Hotel Mainake (Torre del Mar) TEL: +34 952 96 78 60 MOBILE: +34 696 398 985 FAX: +34 952 545 419 E-MAIL: construc.vandriel@hotmail.com C/Los Prados nº 9 bajo, 29740 Torre del Mar (Malaga)

Ri - Jo

Dutch Bar Sky Sports available Specialities in Dutch cooking Open 10am - late 7 days a week Tel: 696 398 985 Algarrobo Costa (next to swimming pool)

THE HAIR & BEAUTY SP ueA LON n te d o n Ma n u e l

“SARAH” Beauty Therapist offering: PEDICURES MANICURES COLLAGEN FACIALS MASSAGE HOPI EAR CANDLES REIKI WAXING ST. TROPEZ REFLEXOLOGY SELF TAN TREATMENT AND LOTS MORE!!!

Call: 647 875 223 Special Offer for April

10% off any treatment on production of this advert

“SADIE” Weds by appointment only, Thurs & Fri Call: 691 744 711 Introducing: “EMMA” Mon & Tues & Sat by appointment only Call: 620 849 338 Both fully Qualified in all aspects of Hairdressing for men & women

“AMANDA”

Qualified sports and remedial therapist specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation inc. treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing & lymphatic massage.

Call: 690 258 414 or 647 875 223 Po p in or call for a free consultation on any of these treatments

“LINDA GUNN” Experienced Holistic Therapist will be holding clinics on Mondays & Saturdays offering Remedial & Structural treatments suited to your individual needs Call: 605 481 929 or 647 875 223

“JUIN” - Allergy Testing. Call: 652 274 962

M a y D a y Fu n D a y 3rd May

Gymkhana - suitable for non - riders FREE Pony Rides, Bouncy Castle & Face Painting Food & Drinks Demonstration of Stallions to Music 11am onwards Everybody welcome

A GREA T DA Y OUT!! ! !

C a l l Cl ai r e : 6 2 9 8 8 0 4 8 0 J a d e : 6 5 6 5 4 9 214

If you are looking for horse riding in Nerja, look no further

Horsin’ Around

Located on the picturesque Rio Seco ll in Nerja and consisting of 3 very large outside paddocks, 5 stallion size indoor stables, a dressage size sand school, separate wash area, quarantine corral and children’s play area. We also have a bar area, toilet and shower facilities.

Horsin’ Around

Offers riding lessons for all levels, from complete beginners to experienced riders and tailoring rides to suit individual needs. We can also cater for families or groups of friends. (For groups of six or more, advanced notice is required). A one hour lession is 25€ (one to one).

(Discounts are available for regular bookings).

Horsin’ Around

Has a pony club on Saturday & Sunday mornings for children between the ages of 6 & 14. The lessons are not only educational about caring for horses, learning how to tack up, but also how to ride safely and confidently, whilst having fun. Parents are welcome to come, watch and enjoy the beautiful surroundings.

(Discounts are available for regular bookings).

Horsin’ Around

Also offers a full range of livery services from DIY through to a full service. Our experience has shown that each owner has different needs and more to the point their horses have different needs. We aim to provide the correct service which is individually tailored for you & your horse.

Whatever your needs, we can accomodate you and your horse For further information please call Claire on 629 880 480 or visit our web site at www.horsinaround4u.com

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Star Signs

Mystic Mag is here again for another look into your lives....

Capricorn – You’ve heard the saying follow the leader, so what are you waiting for. Follow on and learn new skills that will become very handy down the line…

Lucky sign – A party in a blue house Aquarius – You sometimes have problems pronouncing your R’s. Like Jonathan Woss, I mean Ross, they end up sounding like W’s. Just keep repeating the sentences before until you crack it.

Lucky sign – Repetition Pisces – What goes up must come down, but then what comes down always goes back up again in the end…

So if you’re a stock market investor then just hold this one out.

Lucky sign – Patience

Aries – Hey Big Stinker! Don’t just sit around stinking all day. Do something useful and jump in the bath or something.

Lucky sign – A huge bath bomb Taurus – You’ve been feeling a tad blue recently, but that’s all set to change in no time, when something really exciting crops up and changes your outlook.

Lucky sign – Surprise!

Gemini – Your cat is beginning to act strangely. Let’s face it, jumping into the toilet pan on regular occurrences just isn’t normal. Seek help.

Lucky sign – Cat Doctor

To advertise

Cancer – If you happen to know someone called Ted, then watch out for ulterior motives. If your name happens to be Ted, then be nice, I wasn’t talking about you!

Lucky sign – If you don’t know anyone called Ted Leo – Your loving silver things at the moment. Whether silver jewellery, silver plated place mats, or silver cotton bed sheets, your taste for this precious metal is simply simmering.

Lucky sign – Silverfish

Virgo – Boy, how negative you are!

Surely you have learnt by now that the world frowns upon negative or miserable beings. Stop beating yourself up and learn to love and be loved.

Lucky sign – Joy

Libra – If you’re feeling confused or stuck in a rut, then try evaluating your life goals and where you want to be in 6 months time. If you don’t have any idea, then how do you ever expect to get there?

Lucky sign – Goalacoaster

Scorpio – You have started to take a slightly different direction in your life and you are ready for some hardcore action.

Lucky Sign – A very high mountain

Sagittarius – A man reapeth what he sow so make sure you plant seeds of love and joy, rather than seeds of despair.

Lucky sign – A gardener

And if it’s your Birthday this month do something out of the ordinary you will only turn this age once!

83 call 664 210 468

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Whats on...? Sponsored by:

ARKWRIGHTS The British Store & More OPEN ALL “OURS”

Puente don Manuel

Call: 95 11 67 674 / 95 11 67 289 / 65 93 75 603

www.arkwrights-groceries.com

Lux Mundi, Torre del Mar - Call for April Events - For further information call in at the centre Avenida Moscatel No. 1,"I", Torre Del Mar or tel: 952 543 334

RBL - Trapiche Branch meets every Wednesday at 12 noon in El Trapiche Restaurant. 1st Social Meeting with Bingo, 3rd Trip to Gibraltar. 8th Social Meeting with quiz, 15th Monthly lunch at El Trapiche, 22nd Social Meeting, 23rd St George’s Day lunch at Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel, 29th Table top sale. Every Wednesday social meetings have alternative activities to those listed.

We also have a very popular DVD/Video lending library. For more information, or to book call Helen Vivian on 952 519 736 or Jayne Turner on 951 167 092. For Recruitment call Chris Vivian on 952 519 736. Or in person at El Trapiche Restaurant any Wednesday from 12 noon.

RBL - Los Romanes Branch meet every Tuesday at 4 Caminos, Cortijo Romero, Vinuela (formerly Ziggis) at the NEW TIME 12 noon. We hold our social meeting playing bingo, beetle, quizes etc. and have a good laugh. On the first Tuesday of every month we have a menu del dia at 4 Caminos for 7€ For further information call: Margaret on 951 167 600.

ABC Ballroom Dance our next dinner dance is an Easter special with many surprises and gifts. Saturday 11th April, 7.30pm - midnight at El Trapiche Restaurant, Velez Malaga. Choice of menu, Chicken, Rosadaor Salmon, 2 jugs of Tinto Verano on each table. 12€ per head. We offer a warm welcome to all dancers and non dancers, great venue, great meal, great value. We would like to take this opportunity of thanking Alfonso and his staff for all their 84

kindness and help. Dave is the only teacher of many classic sequence dances in this area of the Costas. I invite you to come and see for yourselves.

Wednesdays dancing lessons at la Vega Torre del Mar 7pm - 9pm 6€. A great social evening, something for everyone.

For tickets at least 7 days prior and any more information required please contact: David 952 531 259 or 617 863 193.

Email: jacine@gonuts4free.com Colmenar Gym, fitness/pilates classes, weight/circut training, fully equiped gym.

Contact Carol 659 295 346 email: carolgrant2@tiscali.co.uk Come Dancing with Hugh Grant: Salsa, Rumba, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle.

Contact for location nearest you. hughgrant@tiscali.co.uk 606 086 300

Nerja History Group. Meets on the first Friday of every month at Nerja Cultural Centre, Calle Granada. Meetings start at 11.30 prompt and finish at 13.30. For more info. please contact Jill Chtristian-Smith on 664 760 405 or jill.christiansmith@gmail.com

Travelling Companions coach outings 2nd April, Visit to the old interesting city of JAEN. In the afternoon we will visit the beautiful castle "Santa Carolina" (Parador) 25€, 8th Gibraltar, shopping and sightseeing. 25€. Booking details, Cafeteria El Pasaje, Pasaje Cantarero (Near Bus Station) Nerja. Tuesday and Friday 11.00 - 12.30 trips organised by John and Nessa Reeve in aid of Cudeca Tel: 95 252 5891. Your support helps a terminally ill cancer patient. Thankyou

FHT Axarquia Support Group aimed at Therapists and those interested in therapies. Jenny Wright, is looking forward to the first meeting of a new Support Group for Therapists. First meeting March 25th at the Camping Bar, Vinuela, at 11am. If you are interested in maintaining or improving your health, having some fun and friendship thrown in, come and join us. Mo Reeves 663 564 699 moandpaul@gmail.com.

Jenny Wright 680 500 073 or 951 321 613 jennywright04@googlemail.com

To advertise call 664 210 468

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Whats on...? Cont...

RBL - Torre del Mar Branch meet every Wednesday, 12 noon at La Vega Restaurant, nr the Mercadona Supermarket, Torre del Mar. You do not have to be ex-service to join the Royal British Legion. Call for April events. For bookings please ring Merryll: 663658354 or Gail: 952 030 378 & Welfare: 628 343 198

RBL - Alcaucin Branch meets every Thursday noon at the Restaurant La Era, Puente Don Manuel ( entrance via Petrol Station) to enjoy social activities and meet new likeminded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations. Regular trips are arranged departing locally. 2nd April Welcome to our new venue 3rd - Gibraltar on Trapiche branche’s trip 9th Branch general meeting and egg painting competition 29th - Ten Pin Bowling at Ozone. 30th - Fun music quiz.

Branch Contact is 696 391 224. Harvey. Social Contact is 677 866 008 Ann. Welfare Contact is 690 310 951 Dorothy.

RBL- Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30 to 2.30 pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment and monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks*, and we welcome all new and existing RBL members. For more information please ring: 952 514 226 or 669 201 927

Come dancing for Cudeca, Next dance for Cudeca - April 18th at El Trapiche Restaurant 7pm for 7.30pm. Ballroom dancing, Old time dancing, Simple Sequence and Scottish dancing plus Jiving and Latin American. Supper, Chicken, Fish or Vegetarian. All included in the 10€ entrance ticket. 250€ was raised for Cudeca's Hospice at our March dance.

Come along, have fun & help raise more money for this worthwhile cause without breaking the bank.

Contact jjmunns@gmail.com or phone Mike on 952 510 189 and Joyce 616 046 713

To advertise

Swimming Classes for Babies & Children. Get ready for summer & sign up for these swimming courses in Nerja. Fun and games as well as expert instruction!

Checkout the website for info, photos & videos www.swimbabynerja.com or call Virginia: 662 463 452 /952 533 236

Have you always wanted to draw and paint? Weekly drawing for beginners course presented by top international artist/tutor Heather Gail Harman B.A Hons. Courses held daily in Axarquia.

Call for details: 951 167 146 / 628 306 371

El Ancla are holding a musical afternoon April 11th for Mike Springthorpe who was left paralysed after a cycling accident in Spain last October. A selection of musicians and singers will entertain from 2.30-5.30, food available from 1pm-7pm. Entrance fee of 5€ for the Mike Springthorpe funds. Contact jjmunns@gmail.com or phone David on 615 944 076 or John on 658 485 469

CAS events for April, 10th An Evening at the Pavo Real, Cómpeta. Buffet, plus entertainment from Kevin. 7.30 for 8.00pm. Tickets 10€ from the Pavo Real or from Terry on 95 203 0036. 19th CAS Quiz at Burriana Properties, Burriana Beach. 7 for 7.30pm. Meal with wine included. Booking essential. 9€ if booked and prepaid at the CAS Office. 12 euros on the night. Please telephone the CAS office on 95 252 3607 (10am – 1pm).

Out of office hours, call Vera on 95 252 9670 / 630 003 450 or Sheila on 630 003 473.

CAS would like to thank some of the businesses in Puente don Manuel and La Vinuela for allowing them to have CAS collection tins in their shops. They are grateful for the help to raise some funds and also making people aware of what CAS tries to do.

The people they would like to thank are; Sue and Simon of Interiors, the Staff of Tiffany's bar, Debbie and Martin at Moreno's, Louise of Beauty @ Louise, Gilly at Carousel and Mario de la Torre the vet and Geraldine his assistant and dog groomer.

85 call 664 210 468

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Information

...In our own random order!

Emergency Numbers Police Municipal: 092/952 549 238 National: 091/952 542 000 Fire: 952 558 091 Velez 952 500 000 Torre Ambulance: 061 Water: 952 540 662 Electricity: 952 540 662 Red Cross: 952 500 321 Hospital General Basico de la Axarquia, Torre del Mar: 951 067 000

Bus Times Telephone: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30*, 07:30, 08:30** 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15*, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30**, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45**, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40**, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10**, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00**, 12:15, 12:50**, 13:30, 14:45.

15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15***, 10:00, 11:00***, 11:15; 11:45**, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30***, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00.

Church services in English Anglican Nerja - San Miguel Church 11:30am Sundays Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Malaga - St George's Church 12 midday Sundays Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Centre 09:30am Sundays ANGLICAN communion.

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Alhama de Granada - St. Barnabas IERE (Anglican). English services 11 a.m. Sundays at Meson Diego, Plaza de la Constitucion. Tel.958359388 (priest) or 952 510 921 (churchwarden) St Barnabas IERE (Anglican). English services 11 a.m. Sundays at Iglesia Evangelica, Torre del Mar, opposite the bus station. Tel.952030461 (priest) or 618640132 (churchwarden)

Roman Catholic Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer)

Church of Scotland Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre - Worship every Sunday at 11:30 Tel 952543334 or 687764705 for more information.

Evangelical Torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) Now meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30 in the Picasso Room of the Hotel Torremar, off Paseo Larios, C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy Tel 952532825 Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am Tuesday Fellowship - 7pm (Prayer time 6pm) We meet at Fellowship of The King premises Our new address is:- Fellowship of The King Venta Baja Road (next BLOCK up from Meson Sara) Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin. Phone: 952 518 185 or 952 033 021

Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas.

Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

Taxis Torre: 952 540 016.

Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016

To advertise call 664 210 468

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Information

Taxis continued...

Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings.

Weekly Market days Mondays:: Torrox Costa & Market at Caramels, Puente don Manuel Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa.

Wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa Thursdays:: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez & Competa Sundays: Malaga Consulates UK Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2ยบ- Malaga 952 352 300 Ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nยบ15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Carlota Alesandria, 33 Edif. San Andres - 1ยบ-7 Torremolinos 952 380 888 Germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159

Denmark 952 211 797

Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 952 048 804 Airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com

Telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104 Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013

Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272

Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000

Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000

ITV 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am - 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am 12.45pm

To advertise call 664 210 468

87

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to adverts Get Quizical

Puzzle Pages

1. What is the standard monetary unit of Iceland?

2. What is the largest lake in Italy?

3. What type of creature is a goa?

4. Gnathic refers to which part of the body?

Hey Diddle Riddle

This month, just for the hell of it, we have hand picked a selection of weird riddles, that Hill have you thinking, eh?!

1. If there were no food left, what could people do?

5. Who wrote the 1978 novel The Sea The Sea?

2. What did the wig say to the head?

7. In which country would you spend a grosz?

4. Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?

6. What does a banksman do?

3. What occurs when two oxen bump into each other?

8. Psammite is another word for what type of rock?

5. What part of a clock is always old?

9. In which year did Henry V111 of england die?

10. what is a gooney bird better known as?

6. When do princes become kings?

7. Why are men going bald at an older age these days?

Answers on bottom of page 90

Sudokus

88

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Crossword

Two sets of clues but the same answer

Cryptic Clues

ACROSS 1 Pester animal (6) 4 Bachelor with US farm finding tree limb (6) 7 Scandinavian man with energy (4) 8 Brave French one, a father, getting help (8) 9 Sovereign upsetting rep more (7) 12 Poem included in god editions (3) 14 Toy with cold dessert (6) 15 Second hag wanting change (6) 16 Sister getting no part, we hear (3) 18 Apprentice, neater, I confused (7) 22 Man in school initially using the French timetable (8) 23 Beef making male scoff (4) 24 The mod, possibly, with means (6) 25 First of toddlers, finished, being looked after (6)

DOWN 1 Wicked male, popular, not turning up for game (9) 2 Plant in old Dane’s novel (9) 3 Audible arguments making us wake up (5) 4 Brother including a verse getting cry of approval (5) 5 Account about piece of land (4) 6 Youngster, cold, greeting lord (5) 10 Airman - one involved in secret plan (5) 11 Man’s tree (5) 12 Hot men Den upset when recovering (2,3,4) 13 Former partner, hot, with a man going round America, tired (9) 17 Relative, French one, about 50, with energy (5) 19 Set of drinks for stage of competition (5) 20 Clumsy popular new pet (5) 21 Net found in some shed (4)

Coffee time

ACROSS 1 Pester (6) 4 Tree limb (6) 7 Scandinavian (4) 8 Not scared (8) 9 Monarch (7) 12 Poem (3) 14 Cold dessert (6) 15 Exchange (6) 16 Woman in religious order (3) 18 Apprentice (7) 22 Timetable (8) 23 Animal flesh (4) 24 Means (6) 25 Looked after (6) DOWN 1 Shuttlecock game (9) 2 Plant with yellow flowers (9) 3 Wake (5) 4 Well done! (5) 5 Unit of area (4) 6 Kid (5) 10 Airman (5) 11 Mountain ash (5) 12 Improving in health (2,3,4) 13 Very tired (9) 17 Parent's brother (5) 19 Circular (5) 20 Clumsy (5) 21 Net (4)

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Jokes he he he :-)

---------------------------------------------------A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know”, the child said, bursting into tears.

“Promise me you won’t tell me”. The boy sobbed.

“When I was six, I got the ‘There’s no Easter Bunny’ speech. At seven, I got the ‘There’s no Tooth Fairy’ speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the ‘There’s no Santa’ speech.

If you’re going to tell me that grown-ups don’t really get laid, i’ll have nothing left to live for”.

---------------------------------------------------First time sex.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her

90

boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

Get Quizical Answers 1) Krona, 2) Lake Garda, 3) Gazelle or Antelope, 4) The Jaw, 5) Iris Murdoch, 6) Signals instructions to a crane driver, 7) Poland, 8) Sandstone, 9) 1547, 10) An Albatross Hey Diddle Riddle Answers 1) Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could eat their traffic jams, 2) I’ve got you covered , 3) An oxident (accident), 4) Because they were Wright (right), 5) The second hand. 6) Mostly in April, when the rains (reigns) begin. 7) Because they’re wearing their hair longer.

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, it's right there.' If you're not sure what a 710 then here it is!

To advertise call 664 210 468

C/Canalejas, 15 Local, Velez Malaga 952 55 83 63 Caring dentistry using the safest techniques for your “Health”

ENGLISH DENTIST PR A CTISING HERE

Dr. MANNISH BDS - London University - Harley St. Cosmetic Dental Surgeon Dr. ALCAIDE MD - Implantology and Oral Rehabilitation

Complimentary initial examination and digital x-ray (OPG) Compare our quality and standards first

Wouldn’t it be foolish not to have a second opinion?

- Very competitive rates - single items to a whole truck load

SWEENEY TODDZ Unisex Hair and Beauty

We are pleased to announce we have been open one year on 25th April. Thank you to customers old and new for your continued support. *Wella Colour Salon *Modern & Traditional Styles *Fully Qualified in all Aspects of Hair WEDNESDAY’S OFFERS Cut & Blowdry - 15€ Manicures - 10€

Also Spray Tanning, Facials, Massage, Non-Surgical Facelift, Make-Up, Waxing, Eyebrow/Lash Tinting, Manicure, Pedicure, Acrylic Nails, Nail Art, Wedding Packages Available FREE CONSULTATIONS

Tel: Siobhan 625 138 564 Open Mon - Fri 10am - 5pm (No Siesta) Sat - 10am - 2pm Late Night Appointments available Salon situated under La Maroma Puente don Manuel

El Canuelo Bar & Restaurant

Ac co mmo datio n: w ww .elc anuel o.c om

At 850 metres the highest you can go to eat and drink in Malaga Province Ca l l Ma no l o f or r e s e r v a t i o ns : 6 3 9 2 6 6 01 3

Entering Periana from the Velez direction take 1st right at roundabout. Follow signs to El Canuelo and Villa Turistica, through La Muela then follow signs up hill to El Canuelo.

3 kms from Periana

PINO

ELECTRICIDAD

Special Offer:

13,95€

2 SLICE TOASTER Cool touch Defrost function Special Offer:

9,95€

Special Offer:

Special Offer:

COFFEE MAKER 10 - 12 cup Removable filter Non - drip

EXTERNAL LIGHT Bronze, Black or White Max. 100 W

12,99€

19,95€

Special Offer:

35,99€

EXTERNAL LAMPS CEILING FAN Bronze, Black ARUBA or White White or Brown Max. 60W 420mm deep x 1070mm wide

CEILING FANS MORE THAN 50 MODELS IN STOCK

Custudio Puga, 9-A TORRE DEL MAR Tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93

A Professional company with friendly helpful advice A long term cure for all your internal and external damp problems No more annual external painting Cures for areas where running stream water etc is a problem The ultimate timber treatment including: woodworm, dry & wet rot killers All work is guaranteed and carried out by our fully trained technicians to a professionally high standard Free initial survey and quotations to homeowners without obligation Unique U.K Supplied products

RENTALS OF ALL TYPES OF VANS All sizes Refridgerator s 9 Seaters

New Location

VELEZ Poligono Industrial La Mata

TORRE DEL MAR

The Sentinella Trader

3€ for a maximum of 28 words or 15€ for boxed advert inc. photo. Payment to be made before the 17th of the month. Payments can be left at Arkwrights - Puente don Manuel, Viva Bar - Torre del Mar, Ribhouse - Torrox. Email sales@thesentinella.com before 15th of the month or Call Hayley on: 658 202 472 Yamaha YFM660 Grizzly Quad Front & Rear boxes.

Tow Bar, Spanish reg.

5600kms. Immaculate ONLY 5,600€ Vinuela 663 515 341 Ford Transit Diesel Riviera 120 Campervan 1994, Sleeps 6, Shower room VGC, Call for full details 1,300€ 659 327 448

Suzuki Jimny 4 x 4 Cabriolet 2002, FSH, Lady Owner, 58,000km, Burgundy colour with white hard top roof, a/c, e/w, c/l, alloys, vgc, great price 6,500€ Tel: (0034) 647 590 566

Seat Toledo 1994, White, 4 door saloon, ITV, Spanish Reg. Ring for full details 1,150€ 663 515 341

Nissan Terrano AUTO 2.7 diesel SWB, 3 door, 1999, Fabulous Metallic Blue, ITV Aug 2010.

5,250€ 680 680 183

Advertise your Vehicle or Business for sale including photo for 15 euros or lineage advert for 3 euros.

Call 658 202 472

G R E AT I N V E S T M E N T O P P O RT U N I T Y I N G R A N A DA C I T Y 2 9 9 , 0 0 0€

6 1 , 4 0 m O f f i c e f o r S a l e, l o c at e d i n t h e h e a r t o f G ra n a d a , C / S a n A n t ó n , N o. 8 0 , E d i f i c i o R e a l C e n t e r, n ex t t o S a n A n t ó n H o t e l , 1 s t f l o o r, O f f i c e n o. 7 , i n c l u d i n g t w o c a r p a rk s, N o s. 1 4 5 a n d 1 4 6 .

2

G R E AT I N V E S T M E N T O P P O RT U N I T Y I N VELEZ DE B E N A U DA L L A ( G R A N A DA ) 1 3 6 ,0 0 0€

Apartment for sale in Urbanización Las Terrazas del Jardín Nazarí.

Construction finished in November 2008 and due for signing of Title Deeds with the developer.

Splendidly complete exterior apartment located on the last 3 floor building, comprising of 2 bedrooms, lounge, kitchen, bathrom and private solarium on the terrace roof. It also includes car parking and storage room. Swimming pool, gym and communal Arab baths.

Call: +34 653840726 or email: guusiman@hotmail.com

G R E AT I N V E S T M E N T O P P O RT U N I T Y I N VE LEZ DE B E N A U DA L L A ( G R A N A DA ) 153,000€

Gorgeous new two bedroom semi-detached house in the complex Las Terrazas del Jardín Nazarí is now for sale. Construction finished in November 2008 and is just pending the Title Deeds with the developer.

The house has accommodation arranged over two floors. The ground floor comprises porch, lounge, kitchen, bathroom and one bedroom.

The other bedroom and another bathroom are on the first floor.

It includes a car park and private storage room. Communal swimming pool, gym and arab baths.

Please feel free to get further information on +34 653 840 726, or by email to: guusiman@hotmail.com

Advertise your House, Villa or Business for sale in this space for

50 euros

per month Call: 664 210 468

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The Sentinella Trader

FOR SALE: IZUZU TROOPER - ITV until late june - owner returning to uk reliable - good condition - LHD - 2000 euros.o.n.o. Tel: (+34) 958 788 940.

TRAILER, STEEL CHASSIE, wooden box, 9ft x 5ft x 2ft, double wheels, hinged down tail, new light board, 300€. DELL 19INCH flat screen moniter 75€. Tel. 693 917 151 Vinuela area.

MERCEDES C200 Auto, 1997, Needs camshaft. Sensible offers 663 515 341

VW GOLF 1.9TD LHD 1996, 5door,, power steering, new cambelt/clutch & tyres etc. Fully serviced, excellent condition. Needs Spanish reg. Hence 1,000€ Vinuela, Call: 951 167 397 or 663 726 265 dorian.f.hill@gmail.com

SCUBA DIVING EQUIPMENT: Scubapro Fins, Pocket Mask, Dive Knife. Cressi Hood, Scrubapro Hood, Tribord under shorty medium and Lexibook complete - Offers for complete lot considered. MOTORBIKE WEAR: Frank Thomas Jacket med/large, 1 pair Frank Thomas Gortex Trousers size Regular and 1 pair Gericke Sheltex trousers size large 45€ the lost o.n.o.

Telephone 952967208 El Morche area.

BIC TECHNO 283(152 Ltrs) complete including rig with 6.8 metre Techno Logic sail 475€ Tel.no. 628 747 975

PINEWOOD SINGLE BED, complete with headboard and footboard, nearly new mattress. 70€ o.n.o. CROSS TRAINER, nearly new, owner bought as new for 600€ sell for 150€ Call: 647 590 566

ORANGE GAS BOTTLE (empty) for sale. 30€. Comares area. Tel 951 321 854

GENERATOR HONDA EC600F Petrol engine GX390, 9.6KW output, 240 volt, 1x 32amp & 2x 16amp sockets, excellent condition, used for less than 100 hours. Cost 1,400€ will accept 700€ Velez Malaga 669 323 288

CARL LEWIS ELECTRIC TREADMILL Incline setting, Several programmes, Pulse, Heart Rate & Calories Burnt Display, Fold upright 500€ EPILEPTICAL CROSS Trainer with monitor from Decathlon 120€ 691 301 425 2 SEATER & 3 SEATER Settee’s 200€ TV TABLE IN SILVER wrought iron with glass top coffee table to match 40€ each DEHUMIDIFIER New condition 40€ Call: 952 115 984

GAMEBOY ADVANCE Tribal edition, Silver, with case, charger, car charger, earphones, & Gameboy to Gameboy connector 45€ UPRIGHT FREEZER V.G.C 100€ 658 202 472

Wanted

WANTED SMALL CHEST FREEZER, Will collect in Axarquia area. Call: 664 210 468

WANTED NEW MEMBERS at El Capitan Tennis Club Torre del Mar. Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings 9.30 11.30. Phone 675 391 967 WANTED Any old musical instruments call Niels on 952 55 00 83

WANTED EXPERIENCE rider to share my mare based in Triana Call 659 132 502

Call Hayley today to reserve your space!

On: 658 202 472 or Email: sales@thesentinella.com To advertise call 664 210 468

99

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Business For Sale

KENNELS BUSINESS WITH VILLA. Great opportunity. Beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom property being sold with a well established business. This very unique combination can be found in the countryside surrounding Mondron about 10 mins from the ever growing village of Periana.

The current owners have spent a lot of time and consideration "getting it right" in the development of the Kennels. The dog/cat area is well known in the area and further afield - the existing customer database speaks for itself. The repeat business is very reassuring and the annual income not to be ignored. It is really worth viewing and seldom will such an opportunity be repeated. Call 649 320 055 for further info. Was 330,000€ NOW 270,000€

ENGLISH BISTRO IN TORRE DEL MAR. 2 mins from the beach. Beautiful large premises. To include all fixtures and fittings. Massive potential. Please call: 609 108 759

Properties For Sale

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY in Sidcup, Kent England, £124,950. 1 bedroomed purpose built flat, communal entrance, lounge, kitchen, bathroom, communal gated parking, double glazed.

20 mins. London/West End/City. Low maintenance. Good rental income. No forward chain. Call: 0034 675 391 967

Properties For Rent

SUMMER RENT – 2 bedroom town house on Velesol urbanizacion, Velez Malaga with one bathroom, kitchen, dining room, sitting room and out house with small patio. The house is equipped with washing machine, gas cooker, gas water heating and air conditioning unit in the lounge. Available until October 2009.

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420€ per month plus bills.

Contact Kerry on 636 588 697.

Job Seekers

DO YOU NEED HOME HELP? Ex-English rest home owner, will visit you in your own home. Do chores like gardening, cleaning and will look after you or your spouses. For further information tel: Penny 662 097 051 FULL & PART TIME telesales staff and closers required for a successful/expanding telecoms company based in Nerja. Full Time: Generous basic + Comms + Bonus + Incentives 10am5pm Mon-Fri with overtime available.

Part Time: Comms + Incentives. MonFri, 10am-9pm with various shifts available. Experience in sales preferred but not essential as enthusiasm, confidence, lively character with a will to succeed is more important. Be part of a winning team in a friendly and dynamic call centre. Opportunities, for career progression available in various departments.

Contact Bev on 952 544 773.

CARER WANTED to help lady with ms in a wheelchair, driving licence essential must be over 5 5" energetic and fit. Call Sarah 952 967 114 COMMISSION ONLY SALES REP required for unique product no competition with fantastic earning potential english and spanish speaking person required with sales experience. If interested please call Gary on 952 544 773or send C.V to admin@mapss.eu

Miscellaneous

HOT CABINET SERVEOVER 1.50 metre CATERING ROTTISSORIE for roast chickens COLD SERVEOVER 1 metre for more information please call: 609 108 759

To advertise call 664 210 468

The Sentinella Business Directory WE CAN LIST YOUR BUSINESS HERE FOR JUST 5 EUROS A MONTH! (minimum 6 months)

CALL TODAY ON: 664 210 468

ACCOMMODATION

Escuela la Crujia Rural B & B & guesthouse in a pretty converted school, 10 minutes from Velez Malaga,Tel: 606 010 580.

Email: toni@escuelalacrujia.com Vista la Maroma Rural B & B La Vinuela Tel: 952 519 095 Mob: 666 396 562 E-mail: vistalamaroma26@gmail.com Website: www.vistalamaroma.com Accommodation.com. 50,000 Cheap Hotels Online. www.accommodation.com

AIR CONDITIONING

Maraverclima, C/Verdemar 2, Local 5, Torre del Mar, Malaga. Call: 952 54 40 99 / 658 955 751

ALLOTMENTS

Allotments for rent in Velez Malaga. 20 euros per month for 50 square metres. Close to El Ingenio shopping centre and Velez Malaga centre. Gardening tools available for use. Parking onsite. Come and join us - grow your own veg and save on your shopping!

Call Jose on 639120707 Email: galbraith76@yahoo.com

AWNINGS

Shademaker Awnings Enjoy the Al Fresco life style without burning to a crisp! Hundreds of choices of material, styles and models to suit all tastes. Also specialising in material changes to your existing awnings.

Save money... Pay in Sterling!!!

Call Craig on: 637 058 478

BOOKSHOPS

Pasatiempo Calle Infantes 30, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS

Arkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 95 11 67 674 or 65 93 75 603 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

BUILDERS

Milton Construction - 20 yrs experience in all types of construction from routine maintenance and repairs to new builds, pools, landscaping.Tel:625 348 406 for free estimates.

Professional Building Services 34 years in Building Trade Kitchens made or Just Fitted Reform, Extensions,Painting.NO JOB TOO SMALL FREE QUOTE call Garry or Olly Tel: 655279043 / 951167375 / 664156095 Spanish family builders for reforms, new builds, walls, pools etc. Good reputation with clients and known well in local town halls re: permissions etc. English speaking answering service. Please telephone: 660 144 402.

C&T Maintenance Building, Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Kitchens, Bathrooms, Gardening, D.I.Y & General Maintenance .

All aspects of work considered, good rates.

For a free no obligation quotation call Kevin on 952 551 013/ 652 826 628. Email: kswetman20@hotmail.com

To advertise call 664 210 468

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Earn executive level income working from home 2-3 hours a day. Must have phone and internet. Only looking for motivated individuals who desire a 6-figure salary. Call: 671 879 715 www.SuperHighIncome.com

CAR AND VAN RENTAL

One way van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARS WANTED

Wanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

CARPENTERS

Andrew Rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: rodgersfamilyinspain@yahoo.co.uk Carpentry & Joinery all aspects of carpentry including kitchens, windows & doors, Dave: 686 307 769 Madercobrita Poligono la Panoleta, C/Juan Gris, Velez Malaga, 952 501 543

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

Call Roy on: 958 640 068, Professional Machines, Best prices, Distance No Problem. 16years experience.

CATERING

Food For Thought Catering offering fantastic quality food at competitive prices.

Please phone us on 952 554 249 or 600 783 870 or visit our new website at: www.foodforthoughtcateringinspain.com for more information.

CHIROPODISTS

Registered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CLEANING SERVICES

Sunshine Cleaners for a sparkling clean result, daily, weekly or monthly visits. Also change overs and keyholding service. Give us a call on 639 583 400 M&M Cleaners in Competa and surround-

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ing areas, cleaning all the way down to the coast. call the reliable ladies on: 952 553 729 or 647 145 628 Clean & Rosie - Private cleaning undertaken on villas and apartments, including windows, ironing and laundry. References available. Call Rose on 685 245 516

COMPUTERS

PCTorrox.com. All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas.

Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware ,Software and Website solutions. PC service only 50 Euros. Call Rab on: 952967124 or 645236259.

Computer Help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976.

Computer Problems? Help is at hand. Upgrades, repairs, hardware and sofware problems solved, NO FIX - NO FEE. Advice on buying and setting up the right computer for you. Tuition from complete beginners to advanced, get the most out of your PC. Call David Fleck on: 952 510 729 / 620 328 382 or email: technophobe@orange.es

CURTAINS

Curtains/Blinds/Cushions/Bedding etc All Professionally made to measure, alterations undertaken, call for free estimate, 630 414 429 or 952 519 151

DENTISTRY

Unidental. English Dentist Practising Here C/Canalejas, 15 Local, Velez Malaga. Tel: 952 55 83 63 Ian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel. 951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. www.ianpettdentalcare.com

DOG BOARDING

Dogs - Home from home, boarding at my 10,000sqm finca in Rio Gordo. Offering a personal service where dogs live as family.

Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com.

Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses etc...

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

DOMESTIC ENGINEER

Domestic Appliance Engineer From Ariston - Zanussi Your kitchen appliances professionally repaired, 25yrs experience with major UK Company, Tel Mick: 616 370 539, email: mick.griffiths@hotmail.com

ELECTRICIANS

Electro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician For all your electrical needs and problems Fault finding/Lighting and power/Air conditioning Electric gates and Intercoms/Pumps Rewires/Upgrades Call Stefan 610048919 electrocutster@gmail.com Lakeside Property Services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber.

Call David on: 627 931 357

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE

Ab Ax Properties Colinias del Puerto 124, Avenida de Andalucia, Caleta de Velez, 952 511 103, www.abaxproperties.com Axarquia Properties SL 952 554 235 or 626 038 851, www.axarquiaproperties.com Axces Property Direct call or email: 0034 625 346 200 info@axcespropertydirect.com www.axcespropertydirect.com Fleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, www.fleming-properties.com

FURNITURE SHOPS

Carousel Second Hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907 The Furniture Barns, Tel: 626 160 869 www.thefurniturebarns.com Email: info@thefurniturebarns.com Country Furniture, furnishings, accessories and much, much more...Look on our website for our latest stock or visit us at our new shop in Andalucian Auctions, Campillos Cudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, tel 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) open from 10.00 to 16.30 Mon to Fri and 10.00 to 13.30 Sats.

For donations of furniture please call Tony on 661 826 654.

GARDENING SERVICES

Red Palm Beetles, Processionary Moths.

Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373 Garrick Welch Gardening and general

maintenance, Torrox, Nerja and surrounding areas. Also tiling, painting and small building works. Hourly rates, references available, no job too small. Friendly reliable service. Enquiries: 664 226 509 / 690 848 951 / 952 539 674 or email: av_gaz@yahoo.ie

HAIRDRESSERS

Blades - 20 years experienced mobile hairdresser & nail technician for acrylic nails.

Call: 658 733 661

HEALTH & BEAUTY

Weight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 Email: beasav@terra.es (business opportunity also available) WeightWatchers Meetings in English.

Nerja, Velez and Torrox. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further details.candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es Feel great, with our inner & outer body nutrition products. Call Kev or Fiona, 952 551 013 or 652 826 628. Also 2 job opportunities.

Email: kswetman20@hotmail.com Avon, for a brochure call Fiona 652 825 527. Why not invite family & friends & have an Avon Party

HOLIDAY LETS

Villas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. Contact Christine: 627 820 669 www.villaslet.com

HOME FURNISHINGS

Gilly’s Fabric Workshop For all your Upholstery & Soft Furnishings. Tel: 660 743 468 or 958 36 40 16

HORSE RIDING

Andalucia Horse riding, 1hr, 2 hr or day rides with picnic or bar lunch. Situated close to Lake Viñuela Also riding holidays with accomodation. Tel: 616 032 215, www.andaluciahorseriding.com Pony Riding, Main road Torrox-Competa between km 13 &14. Call: 626 836 736 Professional International Horse Rider Trainer, UK qualified, available for lessons, schooling etc.. Call Tina: 666 135 516 Los Caballos del Puente, Horse riding in the area around Lake Vinuela. One hour 20€, two hours 30€. Call: 697 594 824 Alcaucin Horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Sats 10am - midday. Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website: www.horseshoeranchspain.webs.com

To advertise call 664 210 468

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HOUSE CLEARANCES

House & Garage Clearances. Car Boot stock wanted. Fair prices paid. Call: 680 751 868 House Clearance & Removals. All items considered, cash payable on collection. Fast & Reliable service. Call Paul: 626 160 869

INSURANCE

LCJ INSURANCE, Not the cheapest, Not the dearest, Almost certainly the best, *Health Insurance, * Travel Insurance - Multi trips, *Car and House Insurance, * Funeral Plans, Call: 952 515 224 MAPFRE Insurance: Specialising in health, home, vehicle, business & life insurance. Range of pensions & investment plans. English & Spanish speaking. Call Victoria Harding for a no-commitment quote.

952 551 460, fax: 952 555 212 or email: vhardin@mapfre.com All types of Insurance available with Spains leading Insurance company Mapfre.

We also offer highly competitive rates for transfering currencies anywhere in the world.

English speaking service. Please telephone: 660 144 402 or e mail us at fairportinsurance@yahoo.es

INTERNET SERVICES

Riosat:SL, RioSat SL, No landline required. Internet and telephone services.

Some areas free installation. Covering Andalucia. ADSL from 29€ per month. SDSL from 39€ per month. No necisita linea fija. Internet y telèfono. Instalacìon gratis. Cobertura Andalucìa. ADSL de 29€ al mes. SDSL de 39€ al mes Llàmenos / Call 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: info@riosat.com Web: http://www.riosat.com

INTERPRETATION SERVICES

España Interpretation Service for English, German and Spanish for Estate Agents, Exhibitions and public. Contact Sultana Kahn for a prompt service. 639 532 741. Email: sultanaespana@hotmail.com

KENNELS AND CATTERY

The White House Kennels. Well established, professional holiday home for Cats and Dogs. Each kennel has it’s own indoor accommodation and outdoor run, as well as a communal 300m2 exercise area. Each cattery has an upstairs and downstairs, with toys designed to stimulate and entertain. All

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securely set within the peaceful countryside setting of Mondron, within a 10 minute drive from Periana. For bookings or to view call: 649 320 055 or email: thewhitehousekennels@yahoo.co.uk This business is for sale.See page 100 The Dog House While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call.

Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Email:philipclayton_1@msm.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available.

LAUNDRY SERVICES

3-J's Campo Laundry Service Your Laundry Washed and Ironed. We Pick up and Drop off. Everyday is a washday for the 3-J's. Torre, Vinuela, Colmenar and inland. Julie 699 349 748

LAWYERS

Carmen Silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Notaria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: carmensilvia@telefonica.net International Law Solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, 952 527 831 or 615 338 139, info.ils@hotmail.com

LOCKSMITHS

British Locksmith - 24 hour service, good rates. Tel: 676 262 073

MACHINE HIRE

Machines for hire, for all your building & reform requirements, with or without driver.

Call: 696 547 646, on road to lake.

Saxon SL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72

Advertise your business in the business listing pages.

Maximum - 4 lines 6 months = 36 euros 12 months = 60 euros Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

To advertise call 664 210 468

To advertise in The Sentinella call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

MASSAGE (THERAPEUTIC)

George Donker, massage, sport injuries, pain alleviation, stress therapy. Practice: 952 555 206. Mobile: 626 198 238, Caleta de Velez, 10 treatments half price.

Jonathan Mark Leggott, S.M.T.O. I.T.E.C Remedial Massage, Advanced Sports massage, Soft tissue manipulation. Centro Mar y Salud, El Morche -Torrox Costa. Tel: 639 528 205, 952 53 2065

MEDICAL CENTRES

Centro Mar y Salud offers good professional care and treatment in a friendly and healing environment. Our centre not only emphasises diagnosis and cure but also promotes maintaining your health and feeling good. We offer a range of practitioners and treatments; General Medicine, Psychology, Physiotherapy, Osteopathy, Obstetrics, Massage, Acupuncture, Gynaecology, Cosmetic surgery, Urology, Iridology, Colontherapy, Pedicure, Photo depilation, Yoga Classes, Gym classes.

Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, 952 532 065 / 617 913 196, www.centromarysalud.com.

MIDWIFE

Karen Fagan Independent Midwife registered with Colegio de Enfermeria Malaga & NMC London.Homebirth,waterbirth,birthing classes,breastfeedingsupport. Antenatal & postnatal care.Clinics held El Morche Centro Mar y Salud.TEL : 952 532 065 / 606 911 240 for appointments. www.costaguide.net/karen-fagan

MOBILITY PRODUCTS

Blue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MULTI-SERVICES

M TeK Building Services Engineers. Fully Qualified Team of Engineers, Consultancy service, Plumbing, Electrical, Gas, Construction. Total One Stop Solutions. Spanish speaking personnel. Tel: 952 512 491 - 617 839 660 - 7 days a week. e-mail: markrkitchener@yahoo.co.uk

OPTICIANS

Heiko Stumbeck, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar, 952 967 923 and C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja, 952 528 395. C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565

PAINTERS & DECORATORS

Painting, Decorating & all minor repairs.

Also villa changeovers, reliability and high quality work at a reasonable price. Phone Ian or Vanessa, 951 167 711 or 678 265 022 Puente don Manuel, Brush Strokes. Rooms painted from 60€ (i.e) one coat white) Villas painted from 300€ Tel: 686 307 769 or 639 738 624 Peter the Painter, Paints the Property Properly. All Interior, Exterior Work Undertaken, + Property Maintenance. Tel: 638 489 711. email peterpainter4u@yahoo.co.uk

PALM TREES

Palms, trees and plants of all kind. For example: Wasingtonia Palm tree, 3m trunk 395€. Call Jeanette for further details, prices & info, as well as wholesale on: 659 110 165 or email: elpoli@web.de

PET COURIERS

Pet Taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PHYSIOTHERAPY

Sanne H. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculo-skeletal conditions.

Tel 626 152 756

PLUMBERS

24hr plumbing, drainage & all gas appliances, call 666 123 055 / 648 806 016 / 952 514 333 Wayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 239.

24 Hour Service: 634 275 030

PRINTING SERVICES

Business Cards double sided from 140€ for 500. Flyers double sided full colour from 165€ for 1,000. Call: 664 210 468

To advertise call 664 210 468

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PROPERTY MAINTENANCE

Property Care, for cleaning, gardening, general property maintenance. Reliable service. Refs available. Call Denise or Dave for friendly chat on 616 869 429 Doctores de la Casa, We revitalise your property for re-sale or rental. Property or room makeovers, Property Management, Pool & Garden Maintenance, Guest Services. Call: 657 247 647 or email: doctoresdelacasa@gmail.com www.doctoresdelacasa.com AxarCare™ Property Management and Maintenance Services. A full range of property maintenance services carried out by professionals, Building, Painting, Electrical Work & Plumbing the one stop solution. Property Management Specialists a very comprehensive service, Including professional pool cleaning, full details on the AxarCare website. Axarcare we take care of all your property needs. Company Website: www.axarcare.com Tel :616-809-423

REMOVALS

Move It, Removals & Light haulage Nerja-based, Call or email for free quote: 620459908. Email: marknerja@hotmail.com Man and Van (high top). €22 per hour.

Reliable and friendly service. Call Paul: 626 160 869

RENTALS

Tenants-All types of rental,holiday,long/short term lets etc.,Owners - Make sure I know about your property, Please ensure you have contacted me so that I can help you.

Tina 0034 666135516 or Email: officespanishmanagement@yahoo.co.uk www.spanishmanagement.com Rent a Home Avenida Andalucia, 133, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@rentahomespain.com website: www.rentahomespain.com

4 / 3 bed 2 bathrooms, Canillas de Aceituno. Fabulous villa with independent guest annexe and stunning views across the countryside, lake and mountains, Garage, private pool for long-term rent 695 Euro p/m tel: 951167603 billandheather@hotmail.co.uk

RESTAURANTS

Taj Mahal ( Torre del Mar ) Avda. Anadalucia, Blq. Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, C/Timon.

Tel: 952 547 798 Taj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731

SATELLITE T.V.

Total Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com Sky Shop Torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 Sat. Co. Sky and “Free Sat.” HD. Call us 7 days a week. Call Tom on: 657 484 853

SOLAR POWER

Tecnicas Maro, Heating, Cooling & Solar Energy. Providing energy saving solutions since 1992. www.tecnicasmaro.com Email: info@tecnicasmaro.com. Tel:952 52 95 38

SOLICITORS

C&D Solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 www.cdsolicitors.net or email: info@cdsolicitors.net

WEB DESIGNERS

Spanglish Webs, Web designs, Data Base Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Menu Designs, English - Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices.

Contact Rachel: spanglishwebs@gmail.com or telephone: 691 660 187 Website:www.spanglishwebs.com

TO ADVERTISE IN THE BIGGEST & BEST LITTLE MAG IN THE AXARQUIA CALL: 664 210 468 & WATCH YOUR BUSINESS GROW!!

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To advertise call 664 210 468

IZNATE FP0598

A modern 128m2 villa with garage, 8m x 4m pool, alarm, double glazing and fully centrally heated enjoying marvellous views and with easy access.

Benajarafe

FP0470

A two bedroom villa with garage and mature gardens with a secluded location minutes to the beach and enjoying 249,000€ views to the sea.

Mezquitilla

FP0575

A spacious, 128m2, three bedroom terraced house with front and rear patios, communal pool and gardens a few minutes walk to the beach.

299,000€

299,000€

A newly refurbished 1-2 bedroom village house near to the centre of the town with a roof terrace enjoying marvellous views over the town FP0581 ONLY 85,000€ to the sea

Torrox Pueblo

Vinuela

FP0596

A charming rustic, two bedroom finca of some 100m2 on a 1,160m2 plot with many original features and with tarmac access near to village 150,000€

TORRE OFFICE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NERJA OFFICE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306