The Sentinella Axarquia September Edition is OUT NOW! Share with your friends & family.

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 192

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September 20

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m Fro Ed... the A warm welcome to the September edition and what can I say... apart from, what an incredibly strange summer that was! Usually, after an August packed full of events and crazy nightlife, I have so much to write about that it’s normally difficult to decide which event will take my Ed’s column — be it the Air Show, the feria and/or whatever other events have made it a great summer. This year, I have literally nothing to comment on apart from one great afternoon at my good friends’ BBQ, which was a brilliant day had by all — an afternoon of fun, drinks, pool, jacuzzi, wonderfully cooked BBQ food and more drinks... of course all being as careful as we could with regard to social distancing etc. I bet they never thought their annual BBQ would make my Ed’s column as the ONLY event of my summer 2020!! Oh, and I mustn’t forget, August was my birthday month and that was a great day too — thank you for so many lovely birthday wishes.

It’s definitely going to be a year to remember, but I think for most, not good in any way, shape or form. This is really sad, as we only get one chance in this life, and to be fearful of our next step or what may happen in the coming months is emotionally stressful for so many of us. For many people, it has ruined family gatherings such as ‘big’ birthdays that you only get to enjoy once, weddings, engagements, sharing the last moments with loved ones or saying the final goodbye to them, once-in-a-lifetime holidays... the list is endless, and who knows how long this will last for? However, we must all try and make a negative into a positive by staying strong and supporting each other. We are going through a time where we need each other’s help as much as possible. It’s so nice and simple to go online and search, let’s say, ‘Amazon’ for certain products, when a lot of the same things can be found locally. The locals are the people who need the business right now — not the likes of Amazon which has been doing very nicely thank you out of the lockdown situation. We must continue to keep our area

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Editor: Kami Knight sales@thesentinella.com Sales: 664 210 468 / 664 689 138 www.thesentinella.com

Sentinella Axarquia Edition

Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

www.thesentinella.com

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Strange News as strong as we can and help it stay out of another recession. All the advertisers in this magazine are waiting eagerly to help you with their goods and services, so please try these first before the easier option of your sofa and pc.

Next, for many of us we have the hurdle of getting our kids back to school, and goodness knows what rules and regulations will be put into force! I have heard so many rumours — masks all day, anti-bac, sitting apart, some children attend in the day, some children attend in the pm/eve — but the funniest rumour of all is that all children with long hair will be made to have it in a ponytail as hair can spread the virus too! You couldn’t make it up, could you?

On that note, I wish you all a wonderful rest of the summer.

Kami Knight x

The Editor (of the original little mag)!

Whats on inside?

Countries Of The World......................Page 18 Faceless.............................................Page 31 Acronyms...........................................Page 44 Saucy Postcards................................Page 60 Fruit & Vegetable Facts......................Page 70 Useless Facts.....................................Page 80 Funny Pics.........................................Page 84 Celebrity News...................................Page 88 Find The Puppy..................................Page 96 Jokes................................................Page 102 Puzzle Pages...................................Page 104

The Sentinella

DEADLINE FOR OCTOBER SUNDAY 20TH SEPTEMBER Reservations: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

P-P-Pick up a Penguin What do you call a penguin wandering down a rural road?

The traditional joke answer would be ‘lost’ – but police who actually found one decided to name him ‘Po-Po’.

The ‘friendly’ Humboldt bird was spotted ‘plodding’ up a village street in Strelley, near Nottingham, recently. It had managed to escape from a nearby farm and wildlife centre.

It was seen by officers out on patrol before it could get into trouble in the road.

In a post on Broxtowe North Police’s Facebook page, PC Gareth Philp, of Nottinghamshire Police, said: ‘We see some very interesting things while out on patrol, but a penguin walking up the middle of the road has to be one of the more bizarre findings we have come across.

‘We nicknamed him Po-Po. He posed for some pictures with us and he was very friendly with our officers while we made contact with his owner.’

Barrow of Speed Not content with already holding the record for building the world’s fastest shed, a gardener from Oxfordshire has created a souped-up wheelbarrow to go in it.

Kevin Nicks, 55, believes he’s set a new speed record after clocking 44 miles per hour on the back of his wheelbarrow. He’s called it the ‘Barrow of Speed’ and thinks he can go even faster when a Guinness World Records representative comes to verify the accolade soon. His custom-built contraption, which uses a moped engine, was competing at a Straightliners event at Elvington Airfield in North Yorkshire.

He said: ‘I’m here with people who do over 200mph on motorbikes and they’ve all said this machine is insane.

‘It’s the most bizarre thing ever to ride – the handles of the wheelbarrow move in all directions. Every journey on it is not just going fast in a straight line, you’re trying to avoid crashing, which is great! The adrenaline rush is unbelievable.’

Mr Nicks previously created the world’s fastest shed which hit speeds of more than 100mph on a Welsh beach in 2018.

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Strange News (Continued) Steamy surgery A GP surgery has confused patients after a bizarre mix-up with their phone number which made calls and displayed them as being from an adult entertainment venue.

Aspen Medical Centre in Gloucester told Twitter followers that if they’ve received any unexpected calls from Liaisons Sauna Club in Rochdale, it is likely to be from them, blaming a ‘persistent error with the UK telephone system’.

The strange mishap occurred during the recent heatwave. The clinic wrote: ‘It’s HOT! In fact, it’s hotter than a sauna club in Rochdale.

‘If you get a telephone phone call from “Liaison Sauna Club”, PLEASE ANSWER because it’s Aspen Medical Practice trying to call you. It’s a long story. Just trust us on this one. We are NOT a Sauna Club.’

As of yet, the sauna club, which describes itself on Facebook as a ‘hot and sexy’ adult entertainment venue, has not addressed the mix-up.

Pubes, anyone?

A brewery in Western Canada was forced to apologise after unwittingly naming a beer product after the Māori word for pubic hair.

Hell’s Basement Brewery in Alberta started marketing Huruhuru, a New Zealand craft ale, last year. The brewery picked the name because it understood the word meant ‘feather’ or ‘fur.’ But Te Hamua Nikora, a Māori living in New Zealand and well-known former TV personality, said that the word ‘huruhuru’ also has an altogether different meaning for the Kiwi indigenous community.

‘Yes I know huruhuru means feather, fur and even hair of the head,’ he wrote in a Facebook post. ‘I know this. But the term is most commonly used to describe hair from a person’s privates.’ Nikora said he had contacted both the store and the brewery informing them of their mistake and asked for non-Māori businesses to use their own language to promote their products.

‘If you are selling beer, don’t call it pubic hair unless you are making it with pubic hair,’ he said.

Both companies have apologised after being accused of cultural appropriation.

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The Hair and Beauty Studio (keep up to date)

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Quirky Quotes What do women say about men?

Quotes from famous women:

And what do men have to say about women?

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of. Kathy Lette

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'

Emo Philips

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Elayne Boosler

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. Lewis Grizzard

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'. Rita Rudner I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Zsa Zsa Gabor A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson

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Smart Answers Smart Alecks!

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"

The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

"What are my choices?" the man asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.

The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge

4 or 8 SEATER TAXI

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info@malagalegal.com Tel: 659 752 538 www.malagalegal.com Emma Romero Lawyer Antonio Estaban - Lawyer Criminal defence Employment law and contracts Incapacity and disability benefits Traffic accidents Work related injury or illness

Debbie Ryder - Paralegal Wills, Power of Attorney Translation, interpretation Visits to Hacienda, Town hall, Social security, Notary Driving licence change

Family law Divorce, Access Maintenance, Custody Immigration – EU and non-EU Inheritance and succession

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Free initial consultation Professional, friendly experts and ALL in English Unfairly fined during the state of alarm?

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What’s New This Month This month we welcome these new businesses to The Sentinella Magazine This is a subject we cannot shy away from, it will come to us all one day, and when it does you may want a specialist in this field to help you to plan your loved-one's funeral. Wendy is a bespoke funeral celebrant, where every service she writes is unique and personal to you. Written to celebrate the life of your loved one. Wendy will advise on everything from music, poems, and readings. She will guide you every step of the way. See main advert on page 33 Are you finding there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done that you need to? What you need is a trustworthy person to take care of everything for you. Carla is a responsible person who can take care of your home, clean for you, cook and care for your loved ones, both children and adults.

See main advert on page 87 Would you like to learn a new language...

Spanish, English or Portuguese? Did you know that by learning a new language your first language is improved? Grace is a fun teacher waiting to help you to achieve your goals. With over five years experience teaching children, adults and corporations she will prepare you for Cambridge IGCSE, A2 etc.. online classes are also available.

See main advert on page 85 For all your maintenance solutions under one roof “Gelima & Home Abroad” have the answer. A solution for everything in, and around your home. They can organise the management and maintenance of your home, repairs, maintenance of your swimming pool, key management, etc.. Through their years of experience they can offer the very best service your home needs. They also offer a

personal contact throughout the process of buying or rental.

See main advert on page 43 The hugely popular Russell’s Supermarket based in Torrox Costa, open their brand new larger store on the 1st of September after 14 years at their old location... Stocking over 2,000 lines of all your favourite British and international food products and new items added every week, they offer a massive selection and at good value prices. They offer a regular delivery service to many places in the Axarquia area for your convenience! You can find all their lines and delivery areas on their website: http://www.russells.es Russell’s supermarket also stock more than 200 lines of very popular Co-op products as well as all of your favourite brands. Be sure to check out their website and stock up on your favourite essentials and treats!

See main advert on page 52 The Expat Real Estate & Consulting team remains at your disposal to guide and advise you in the search and purchase process.

More than a real estate agency, we offer numerous services tailored to your needs, especially if you need advice in your own language. Do not hesitate to send us your criteria or a request for information, and we will do everything possible so that you can carry out your desired project in the Axarquía (eastern Malaga province, Andalusia).

See main advert on page 69 If you have a business in the Axarquia region and would like to promote it so it’s in the hands of our readers, contact us today on 664 210 468 or email: sales@thesentinella.com We look forward to promoting and distributing your advert throughout Axarquia!

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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T n s ta

as st w i l A -Z a n rld Indi o e w he f th d t ion o 47... n 19 rou tit ur e par nt in o e n h i ft tin 138 t o on er n ou ub-c b r s m Nu bo

ki Pa

Population - 216 million Languages - English, urdu.

Located - South asia Capital - Islamabad Currency - Pakistani Rupee Religion - Islam Main Exports - Textiles & Rice Literacy Rate - 65% Life Expectancy - 67 years g.D.P. Per Capita - 1,482.40 uSD Total Area - 796,095 sq km National Sport - Field Hockey

Interesting Facts... From 1857 and 90 years forward, the country was under direct British rule before it gained independence from the British Empire.

Pakistan became a dominion in 1947 before adopting a constitution in 1956, when it was proclaimed an Islamic Republic. Pakistan was the first official Muslim nation in the world.

Pakistan was originally made of two parts: West Pakistan and East Pakistan, the latter of which became Bangladesh.

Pakistan’s geography includes a wide variety of landscapes and terrains, with elevation ranging from sea level to the second highest mountaintop in the world (K2).

Pakistan is one of the most populated countries in the world with a total of 216 million inhabitants in 2019.

Pakistan was the first Muslim nation to elect a female prime minister. Benazir Bhutto began serving only three months after giving birth to her first child in 1988. She was killed by a suicide bomber in 2007.

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Kid’s Talk Kids say the funniest things, that’s why we can’t help but love them!

Jack was watching his mum breastfeeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mummy why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?”

Melanie asked her granny how old she was.

Granny replied she was so old she couldn’t remember any more. Melanie said: “If you don’t remember you should look in the back of your knickers. Mine say five to six.”

Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don’t give me this juice again mummy,” she said. “It makes my teeth cough.”

Tammy was with her mum when they met an elderly rather wrinkled woman her mum knew.

Tammy looked at the elderly woman a while before asking her: “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”

Mark was engrossed in a young couple who

were hugging and kissing in a restaurant.

Without taking his eyes off them he asked his dad: “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”

Jodie was busy looking through her mum’s childhood photographs when she called out: “Mummy, if these pictures are from when you were a little girl, where are all the dinosaurs?”

Becky asked her mum, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” her mother replied: “No you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a moment and said. “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

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Capitalism Interesting outlooks on Capitalism.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire on the money you get.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead from overwork.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

SPANISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. So you decide to take a break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows.

You count them and find you have five cows.

You count them again and find you have 42 cows. You count them again and find you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows.

Both are mad.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You find the one on the left very attractive...

Los Naranjos

Bar Restaurant Alcaucín

Breakfasts, Menus, Specials, BBQs....

Me nu de l dia 8 € E v e r y Fr ida y - Fla m e nc o E v e r y S a tur da y a t noon - Pa e lla E v e r y S a tur da y - Liv e Mus ic S pe c ta c ula r Te r r a c e with wonde r ful v ie ws ! !

Open 8am - 4am every day Calle de la Fuente, Alcaucín (under bank next to post office)

Tel: 951 041 535 Mob: 619 390 146 608 553 075 We speak English

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Funny Tips More light-hearted tips to add a smile to your face Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply going in the sink.

Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

Take your dustbin to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

Old contact lenses make ideal 'portholes' for small model boats.

Taxi drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your indicator lights for you so that other motorists know where the heck you're going.

Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

Housewives. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

When reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

Save on charity donations by spending a pound on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50p to another charity shop.

This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost. I think.

Apply red nail varnish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet.

(Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting varnish should be selected).

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

B O A R D I N g C AT T E RY Canillas de Aceituno We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat.

Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy.

Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access.

We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs.

We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated.

For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 www.campocats.com Campo Cats Cattery

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Linea Directa HOME INSURANCE – ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE Most people take good care of their homes but sometimes accidents can happen. Red wine can spill on your lounge carpet, children can knock over glass wear, and dogs and cats can chew at your sofa. So it makes sense to ensure that your home insurance policy adequately covers your contents.

WHAT IS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE? Accidental damage is any damage that occurs to your property of its contents, suddenly as a result of an unexpected and non-deliberate action. General wear and tear or damage that occurs over time, will normally be excluded.

WHAT IS COVERED? Insured property is covered up to a limit of 100% of the amount insured for its contents.

Línea Directa’s home insurance policies cover accidental damage to windows, glass, bathroom fittings and sanitary ware, marble and glass ceramic hobs … Policy holders can call Línea Directa and check which contents are specifically covered and which are excluded.

HOME INSURANCE SPECIALISTS Línea Directa is dedicated to getting every customer the very best value for home insurance. With a range of optional covers that tailor policies for individual needs. Quick and efficient customer service staff that aim to solve all your queries immediately. And with 24/7 assistance services that range from emergency plumbers to locksmiths, 365 days a year.

HOW TO GET COVERED Call Línea Directa on 952-14-78-34 and

952 147 834 speak to one of their English-speaking customer service people and find out which cover best suits your needs.

TOTAL REASSURANCE Over 3 million people trust Línea Directa for total peace-of-mind. They have been providing specialist insurance for British expatriates for over 20 years.

BEST PRICE. BETTER COVER We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Línea Directa please call 952 147 834.

More information about Línea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

SECOND Time Around

Second Time around - First class OFFERS Receiving now and selling your unwanted items on your behalf 25% OFF ALL CHRISTMAS CARDS THROUGHOUT SEPTEMBER Selling Marie’s Charity Face Masks with ALL proceeds going to Vélez-Málaga Hospital (who saved her life) So proud of her and her wonderful masks!

We now have the HATRICK! Neck Coolers, Cooling Gel Masks and now selling Magicool Body Cooler LOBSTER The only English Speaking (contract free) Mobile Company.

Unlimited calls to USA also to and from Europe.

After a year our 30 day free offer has finished.

We now have the FOLLOWING OFFER:- We have more GB on offer. Small package 12€-6GB Medium package 18€-15GB and large 24€-30GB - See below And remember, recommend a friend and receive €5 cash!

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Turn right at Cruz de Periana, (opposite PepeCar Mechanic) Puente don Manuel Tel: 659 375 603 Linda Joan Edwards Monday - Saturday 9am – 2pm

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Faceless

Ref: ALC 022 Property of the month Price: 184,950€ ALCAUCÍN: “Casa Sue” is a beautiful detached property in an urbanisation near "Cruce de Periana" with a constructed area of 98m2 on a plot of 380m2. The house is surrounded by a wonderful low maintenance garden with several terraces. Inside the house it continues to surprise with its decoration, good taste and design. 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms for an exceptionally good price. You can view the property on our website.

Check our website or call for more details!!!

Selling your property? Contact us: hello@country-life-properties.com

Mario Blancke

Healthy Food with Art Gallery

Friday & Saturday Live Music from 7.30pm ................................................

September’s Art Exhibition Call for more info ................................................

Non-stop kitchen until 11.30pm For the beach!

You must try our draught beer from our very own Bodega

Open 9am - 11.30pm Closed Tuesdays Paseo Maritimo, El Morche, Torrox

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Live Life Oh the Spanish people really know how to live life to the full….! Don’t you wish you were a native? Well now you can be with our tried and tested ‘how to be Spanish tips’ If you’re an old man….buy a herd of goats and spend your afternoons guiding them throughout the mountains, complete with a little black dog.

Sleep for no longer than 30 minutes during siesta time (2-5pm) If you are a man, drink anis and brandy for breakfast to harden you up for facing the day ahead.

If you are a woman, clean your house immaculately every morning. Don’t miss any of that dust!

Scoff churros for breakfast, or pan con oil and tomatoes if you don’t have a sweet tooth.

Don’t just go to the beach with your towel and sun cream – instead cart down barbecue, cool box, awnings, his and her deckchairs, food to feed 5,000 and whatever else you think you may find a use for. If you’re going to the beach you may as well do it properly!

Talk a lot – at the supermarket checkout, at the doctors and any other place where waiting is involved. If you’re gonna wait then there’s no need to do it in silence.

Talk fast, even when talking to foreigners (this only works if you speak Spanish fluently) Dress to the nines on Sundays, with colour coded clothes. If you only look nice one day a week Sunday’s the day to do it.

Hit other cars when reverse parking, just to check that they have left their hand brakes on. And if they haven’t, then ooops!

36

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in n s o i e ct ness e l e S busi SHOP LOCAL - SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY of

Torrox Costa

Rebeccah Curtis Wellbeing Centre Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa. Open Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm. Tel: 952 53 01 22 & 651 956 284

S m 3

A r C

I

Raza Hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more info call: 952 52 5417, 646 75 24 63, or email: info@razahotel.com or visit www.razahotel.com

C For more information call us on: Paco & Antonia 952 535 417 :: 646 75 24 63 Or email us at: info@razahotel.com Or visit our website at: www.razahotel.com

BEAUTY AND WELLNESS CENTRE & HAIRDRESSINg Open Tues - Sat 10am - 6pm Tel: 952 530 122 / 651 956 284 Rebeccah Curtis Beauty and Wellness Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Comercial B, o N .16 TORROX COSTA

Specialists in medicinal CBD • AUTO FLOWERINg SEEDS • CULTIVATION KITS • THE BEST FERTILIZERS AND SUBSTRATES • SPECIALISTS IN LEC, LED AND SODIUM LIgHTINg • ELECTRONIC CIgARETTES MODS, POD, E-LIQUIDS • CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES • AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Tel: +34 952 531 371 - info@sativagrowshop.com Ctra. de Torrox 29, Edf. Conejito, Torrox Costa

a

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37

Sativa Grow Shop in Torrox Costa. Ctra. de Torrox, 29, Edif, Conejito. Specialists in medicinal CBD, plus auto flowering seeds, fertilizers, cultivation kits etc.. Call: 952 531 37. Email: info@sativagrowshop.com A great Nepali and Indian Restaurant in Torrox Costa, Buddha House. A modern restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specials. Closed Monday lunch.

Ctra. El Penoncillo 11, Torrox Costa. See FB page Buddha479 If you have a business in Torrox Costa call to reserve your space 664 210 468 Full Air Conditioning

Modern Nepali & Indian restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specialities Ctra El Peñoncillo 11, Torrox Costa (Easy Parking in front) Torrox Costa Open 12:00 - 15:30 and 18:30 - 23:30 (Closed lunchtimes Mondays) 10% discount on takeaways Tel: 952 53 09 21 or 612 473 023 Email: buddhahouse479@gmail.com Buddha479

Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician

C S

Dr. Michael Mannish English Dentist & Cosmetic Dentistry Your health partner

w w w w

General Medicine Paediatrics Internal Medicine Acupuncture

w w w w

Jose Antonio gonzalez Maxillofacial Surgeon

Cardiologist (Dr. Daniel Gaitán) Urologist (Dr. Eric Schulten) Dermatologist (Dr. Joaquin Mut) Physiotherapy / Osteopathy

BRINg IN A DENTAL ESTIMATE? MAYBE WE CAN BETTER IT

We Speak English, German & French

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Please call for more information or send an e-mail: info@clinicaeuropa.eu Visit our website: www.clinicaeuropa.eu

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Lads Chat Up Lines

39

Female Lingo

Some lines for the lads to try out!

Five words women use...

1. There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off of you.

1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

3. Hi! Can I buy you a car?

4. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the footie match before helping around the house.

5. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.

This means something, and you should be on your toes.

6. Can I have directions? ("To where?") To your heart.

4) Go Ahead: This is a dare – not permission.

Don't do it!

7. That's a nice shirt, it would look great on my floor.

5) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. It means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

8. Forget that! Playing doctors is for kids!

Let's play gynaecologists.

TK’s

Bar y Restaurante Laguna Beach - Torrox Costa

Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu Specialising in Ribs, Steaks & Chicken Traditional Sunday Lunch Homemade Tapas available every day changing daily from 1€ Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 3pm / 6pm - Late Sunday 1pm - 5pm (bookings advisable) Closed Monday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

Tel: 642 598 217

Broomfield Construction

& Property Maintenance All aspects of building work undertaken Plastering Plumbing Tiling Rendering Kitchens Terraces Bathrooms House Reforms Wet Rooms Call Matthew: 711 002 689 Urb. El Mirador de la Axarquia, 25 Vivienda, Alcaucin Email: broomfieldmatthew@gmail.com www.broomfieldconstruction.es

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41

Residency For British Citizens - The Foreign Identity Card - TIE A new residence document has now been introduced for British Citizens in accordance with the terms of the Withdrawal Agreement between Britain and Spain.

An application can now be made for those who wish to make Spain their permanent residence during the transition period which ends after 31st December 2020. Your citizen’s rights under EU law will be maintained, this includes the right to move to and legally reside in Spain.

For new applicants for residency there is a 2 stage process. In the First stage a submission is made to the Foreign Residency (Extranjeria) office with documentary evidence. You can do this in person, but we can now offer this service submitting the documentation digitally. We have dedicated lawyers registered with the Extranjeria – Foreigner’s Department - for these applications.

The documents include but are not necessarily limited to: • The completed form or Application for Residency • Passports and if necessary Birth Certificates for children or dependants • Certificado de Empadronamiento – Town Hall certificate showing you are registered as living in the municipality.

• Evidence of employment, registration as self-employed or proof of income • Evidence of either Private Medical insurance or State Health provision with form S1 from the UK Once the Application is submitted there will be notification within 10 days if there is any document missing or any error.

If the application is successful you will be notified within a maximum period of 3 months.

In the Second stage you will need to attend a Police Station in person with photographs and a Form which we can assist with. It may then be necessary to return to collect the card.

For those of you who hold the Green card showing your current residence in Spain this can be changed in a one stage procedure by attending the Police station with the forms and photographs. There is no immediate obligation to do this, but do contact us to discuss the procedure.

We treat each case individually and can respond to your questions. We can advise on costs, taxes and all matters of Civil Law and we have a busy Tax department both for Residents and non-residents.

Please contact us on info@decottalaw.net or call on +34 952 527014 or call your local office. www.decottalaw.com Nerja – Mijas Costa – Coín - Tenerife See main advert below

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What’s Your New Name?

Lest we take ourselves too seriously, take a moment to find your new name and wear it with humour for the day...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name: a = stinky b = lumpy c = buttercup d = gidget e = crusty f = greasy g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim j = poopsie k = flunky l = booger m = pinky n = zippy o = goober p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy s = snotty t = falafel u = dorkey v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper y = dinky z = zsa-zsa Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name: a = diaper b = toilet c = giggle d = bubble e = girdle f = barf g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie j = monkey k = potty l = liver

m = banana n = rhino o = burger p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu y = gorilla z = stinker Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name: a = head b = mouth c = face d = nose e = tush f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = butt l = brain m = tushie n = chunks o = hiney p = biscuits q = toes r = buns s = nosey t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck y = brains z = juice My new name is Pinky Rhino Pants hahahahhaha!!

Gelima & Home Abroad The AllroundHome Solutions...

OUR SERVICES wSanitary Works wLeaktrack Technology wPool Services wProperty Management (inside & out) wSales / Rentals (long term / holiday lets) wKey Management

+34 685 83 81 88 +32 490 39 40 36 +32 494 85 00 60 www.homeabroad.eu HOME ABROAD The right way to..... www.gelima.be

Puente don Manuel

Opening hours Tuesday - Sunday 13:00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 23:30

Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212

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ym y n o Acr tionar Dic A

nar tio c i ed nlin - T o s d rce nym sou acro d w cro

f yo

TFTI Thanks for the invitation TG Thank goodness TGIF Thank God it's Friday

T+ Think positive

THT Think happy thoughts

T4BU Thanks for being you

THX Thanks

TAFN That's all for now

TIA Thanks in advance

TAM Tomorro a.m.

TIAD Tomorrow is another day

TARFU Things are really *fouled* up.

TIC Tongue-in-cheek

TAU Thinking about u (you)

TILIS Tell it like it is

TAUMUALU Thinking about you miss you always love you

TLK2UL8R Talk to you later

TBBH To be brutally honest

TL Too long

TBC To be continued

TM Trust me

TBH To be honest

TMA Take my advice

TBL Text back later

TMB Text me back

TC Take care

TMI Too much information

TCB Take care of business

TMTH Too much to handle

TCOY Take care of yourself

TMYL Tell me your location

TD2M Talk dirty to me

TMWFI Take my word for it

TFS Thanks for sharing

TNSTAAFL There's no such thing as a free lunch

48

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These Days Some of you will recognise this, those who don't, you've got it to come!

8. You start to worry about your parents' health.

1. You leave clubs before the end to 'beat the rush' (worst still you don't go to the clubs)

9. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200€ and 500€.

2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.

3. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.

4. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.5.

5. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.

6. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be all right for the DIY or in the garden.

7. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.

10. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children.

11. Pop music all starts to sound the same.

12. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

13. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.

14. You find yourself saying 'is it cold in here or is it just me?’’

SaLES & RENTaLS We urgently Require Properties Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362 Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780

Estate Agents!

Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A Torre del MAr Tel: 952 547 554 / 680 210 414

THIS SPACE FOR JUST 180 euros for the year!!

Call: 664 210 468

info@buyahomespain.com www.buyahomespain.com

www.casa-terreno.net

Cómpeta

Torrox

Torre del Mar

+34 952 51 61 78 +34 952 53 91 25 +34 952 54 18 86

Calle del Mar 23, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601

Country and Village Houses For Sale Office/Home: +34 952 55 77 33 Mobile: +34 606 010 580 unspoiltandalusia@gmail.com www.unspoiltandalusia.com

www.andalucia4you.net Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avda. Andalucía 125 Caleta de Vélez

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Giggle Ode

Philosophy

A chuckle worthy poem for all those retirees with a sense of humour…

A lesson in philosophy, life reversal!

Retirement Blues My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout Time was when, of its own accords From my trousers it would spring But now I have a full time job Just to find the blasted thing It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave But now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its withered head And watch me tie my shoes

s, !

ER! steak F F n L O tinia CIA S en SPE s Arg d PLU wine u a l g n a An & s entinia lack chips B r A g 2 € e o f N LY 4 5 l t t o O b a

641 257 029

Paseo Maritimo, El Copo next to Torre del Mar

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. Is that a bonus? I think the cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out the way. Then live in an old people’s home. You get kicked out when you’re too young. You get a gold watch and go to work. You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs and alcohol. You party. You get ready for Uni. You go to school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby. You go into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... ……you finish off as an orgasm!

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51

Should You Buy, Rent, Sell, Keep, Invest, Release Equity, Or What?

There are no hard and fast answers to the above question; it all depends on your situation in life. What is ideal for one is anathema to another. I was brought up with the mantra: ‘Buy as early in life as possible to get a foot on the property ladder, then buy bigger and better and financially stretch yourself’. Today in the UK, home ownership is now at 63% compared to 75% in Spain, with Romania in top spot at 96%, closely followed by Croatia, Lithuania, Hungary, Bulgaria, Slovakia, Slovenia and Poland.

But this is not the case in countries such as Germany, where people like to rent and only 52% own property. So why do so many Germans choose to rent a property over purchasing one? One reason is that the average German only spends 25% of their net income on rent compared to the UK’s figure of 72%, Therefore, they have a much higher disposable income to spend on other things. Also, the cost of renting v buying in Germany is similar, with no clear advantage of one over the other. There are other reasons for differences from one country to another, such as reasonableness of house prices versus salaries/incomes, percentage deposit required for buying, existence or lack of stamp duty, rental prices, traditional values and history of the housing market.

In most of Europe, there is no clear advantage of renting versus buying, but there is a clear difference in the UK where it is much more effective to buy than rent.

However, in the UK there is the huge challenge of finding the deposit for young

people buying their first home, with many relying on the ‘Bank of Mum & Dad’ or even ‘Grandma & Granddad’.

But, we have all heard the phrase, ‘an Englishman’s home is his castle’ (whether in England, Spain or elsewhere) and as an individual or family, the decision for UK and other ex-pats does not have to be based purely on logic and finance. Some of the biggest advantages of property ownership are that you are freer to put your own personal stamp on the property, you feel better about spending money on something that is yours and you can stay in it as long as you wish without outside interference.

So, what about ex-pats here in Spain (particularly those of a certain age)? The decision of whether to buy or rent simply comes down to what control you desire to have over your home and what you want to do with your money.

It’s an easy decision isn’t it? Well, maybe not!

There are other questions to answer, such as should you sell and then rent, releasing money to spend; should you sell to invest your equity in something more profitable; should you keep your home ownership but release equity in it, again to spend and enjoy?

All good questions which need to be considered.

But - these are questions to be answered on another day and in another article. And whatever you want to do, we at Buy A Home Spain will be here to help you.

Austin Taylor Buy A Home Spain To contact Austin, see main centre page spread adverts for details

Horse Riding / Riding Lessons Paseos a Caballo / Clases de Equitación Approved by "Junta de Andalucía" for Active Tourism/Equestrian Tourism

VéLEZ-MÁLAGA

+34 686 548 017 - Julia www.horse-riding-torredelmar.com

Picadero de Cabrillas

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53

Men’s Minds We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side: Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

If you think you are fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

You have too many clothes... and shoes...

Breakfasts, Lunches, Homemade Desserts Extensive menu Veggie and Vegan options Healthy Breakfast Smashed Avocado with Tomato & Garlic on multiseed bread topped with two poached eggs - 5.50€

Simply the Best Full English!

Tel: 640 569 988 Avda. Andalucia, 34, Torre del Mar (opposite old Police Station) HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 7 SEATER TAXI CAR RENTALS

All range of cars: Basic, Medium, Automatic and 7 seater cars Delivery & collection at Málaga airport or at your location HOLIDAY APARTMENTS IN ALgARROBO COSTA BEACH Algarrobo Costa Block Montevideo, 3 Tel: 0034 952 511 209 Email: estrellarentweb@gmail.com www. estrellarent.com We speak English, german & Spanish

Tuesday to Sunday 6pm to close Mondays closed Free wiFi All Homemade Paseo Maritimo de Levante 1, Esc 3, Local 6, EL COPO, Torre del Mar

56

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Quality Bespoke Wood Furniture Meet Wes Wood Work When you meet Wes and his wife Eva, you know immediately that they love their family business and life here in Spain, Torrox Campo.

They have fully embraced everything about their environment, the local towns, schools for their children, outdoor life and indeed the tools of their trade – wood.

“It’s simple, wood is our passion and we love to make furniture” says Wes. Initially upon arriving from Holland 3 years ago, he imported wood from his Dutch supplier but soon found equivalent high-quality products here in the Axarquia and client feedback demonstrates it’s perfect!

“I make tables, benches, kitchen doors and work surfaces, bureaus and really anything clients want! It’s a dream job, bespoke furniture to clients’ designs, I create it for them working with my metal experts, when required, and ensure it’s exactly what they MODERN

vINTaGE

RuSTIC

ELEGaNT

Tel: 679 171 008 woodworkwes www.weswoodwork.com

We asked Wes and Eva what they felt they’re ‘Unique Selling Points’ were, they both felt it was a combination of everything they do: response to enquiry, attention to detail, quality of the product, the price and their after-sales service including a 2 year guarantee. When you look at the pictures of Wes’ work and read the client testimonials on their Facebook/Website pages, it obvious it’s working!

Get in touch directly with WesWoodWork for your dream furniture.

Telephone: 679 171 008 www.facebook.com/woodworkwes www.weswoodwork.com See main advert below

SHaBBY

Quality Bespoke Wood Furniture Tables, benches, kitchen doors, work surfaces, bureaus, built-in wardrobes and more...

Any size, colour or design for home, gardens and businesses.

Constructed for stability and durability with a quality service you can trust

are looking for. Any size, colour or design for homes, gardens and businesses. Wood types I use include American pine, teak, oak or other types of hardwood. I enjoy creating something from nothing, there are no limits to what I can build - I recently made a massive table for a local boutique hotel 4.5 x 1.5 metres of wood and metal, weighing around 700kg - the client’s reaction was perfect!”.

PRaCTICaL

STYLISH

MINIMaLISTIC

CHIC

Your Design Brought to Life

Experience the very best of Asian cuisine tice il f t n ly u n € o e

MENU OF THE DAY - 6.65 rvic e s EVENING MENU y - 7.65€ ver

r no e h urt

i Monday - Friday del (except holidays) & ay Easy Take away awParking

e Tak

Opening Times - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.30 - 23.30 Closed Tuesdays (Open on Fiestas) Avenida Andalucia, 35 Bajo ALGARROBO COSTA

Tel: 952 551 439 Mobile: 673 160 208

Sales I rentals I Management Amayate For Sale

S4-309

Lovely 3 Bed 2 Bath Townhouse, which is furnished to a high

standard, comprises lounge/dining room with air conditioning and wood-burning fire, spacious fully-fitted kitchen, 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms. Outside there is a private patio area, plus communal gardens and pool

Sales Price: 178,000€ (NeW!) Torre del Mar

For Sale

S3-670

New Development: Fabulous 3 Bed 3 Bath Houses contemporary style with sea & mountain views close to centre of town. Great quality and prices. finishes at end of 2020

Sales Price: From 247,000€ (NeW!)

Torre del Mar

For Sale

S3-671

New Development of 28 Semi-detached Houses,

3 Bed, 2.5 Bath, all with large outdoor terraces, gardens, storage rooms and garages in great location close to town.

Private pool is possible

Sales Price: From 315,000€ (NeW!) Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, (opposite bus station) Torre del MAr - Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

email: info@buyahomespain.com

Torre del Mar

Sales I rentals I Management For Sale S2-422

Conveniently Located 2 Bed Apartment in centre of town.

It is on the first floor & comprises of living room with terrace & open-plan f/F kitchen terrace.

All amenities are right outside the front door and the beach is a 1-minute walk away

Sales Price: 142,500€ (NeW!) la Viñuela

For Sale

S3-666

Well located 3 Bed 2 Bath Country House near Lake Viñuela & local amenities with good access & panoramic views to mountains & the sea. Accommodation all on one floor villa which comprises 2/3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, f/f kitchen, lounge/dining room, car port for 2 cars

Sales Price: 179,000€ (NeW!) Torre del Mar

For rent

r2-212

Top floor, 2 Bed Apartment close to the lighthouse, beach & all amenities. It is very spacious, comprising spacious living room with west facing balcony, f/f kitchen with gas boiler, fridge/freezer, electric hob and plenty of cupboards, 2 large bedrooms, shower room, swimming pool, 50 metres to beach

rental Price: 500€ per month

w w w.buyahomespain.com

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Saucy Postcards

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61

New Rugby Club British, French, Dutch, German and other foreign communities here in Spain as well as the Spanish of course.

Our aim is to create competitive senior and junior rugby union teams, a rugby 7’s team, male and female teams, for all ages.

A new rugby club is about to launch....

Our project for 2020/2021 is to create a new local rugby club right here in Vélez-Málaga.

We know the difficulties of creating a new club, especially in these difficult times of COVID-19, but all those on the committee are veterans of the sport and are well up for this difficult task.

In just two months we have over fifty club members and our intention is to keep growing these numbers every day, reaching out to the

From as soon as September, we shall be going to local schools showing rugby to children from ages 4–17 to hopefully encourage them to take up what is a great sport.

We want to form a great RUGBY CLUB, where everyone is welcome and to come to particate in a great sport, either as a fan, club member or a player.

Call: 632 637 785 Email: rugbylamaromavelez@gmail.com Instagram: rugbylamaromavelez Facebook: La Maroma Rugby Club Come and join the team.

FB: LA MAROMA RUGBY CLUB

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63

Pool Services Group (PSG) We would like to start this months feature by saying a big thank you to all The Sentinella readers. We had a fantastic response to our second feature and so many of you chose to take up some of our special offers.

As sole distributors for Mega Group Export, Norsup and Coveryourpool.com we will continue to bring wholesale prices direct to the public.

It might seem like a strange time to start thinking about heating your pool, in actual fact it’s the perfect time, and you should be thinking of installing a heater during autumn whilst your pool is still retaining the summer heat. This will enable the heater to bring the water to your desired temperature without having to work to its maximum, thus becoming more efficient and saving on electricity.

To help you make a decision, we are going to introduce a ***SEPTEMBER ONLY SPECIAL OFFER*** Order your heater in September, for installation before the end of this year and we will give you an additional 10% off our already unrivalled prices!!!!

Plus... if you need a new bubble cover or wish to replace an old cover we will give you an additional 20% off the covers.

All our heaters are this years models offering the latest technology, you can visit www.poolservicesgroup.com for extensive information on all our heaters. We still hold to old fashion values and enjoy person to person contact so we will always welcome

your calls where we will be able to discuss your requirements.

You may be reading these features thinking these are just introductory offers. No, PSG will always endeavour to bring you the best prices on all equipment at all times.

If your looking for installation of our equipment, a new pool build or pool reform of your existing pool we are pleased to say that we are appointing a well known local building company / installer who has worked in the area for many years and has an excellent reputation.

In the next edition we will be covering complete pool builds and reforms and include an introduction to appointed representatives.

See Pool Services Group Main Adverts on Pages 62 and 64.

Tel: (00 34) 711 00 44 45 email: info@poolservicesgroup.com

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65

Items For Sale / Wanted I WILL COLLECT FREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning.

Call me on 625 319 323 Jacqui NEW MEMBERS WANTED - EL CAPITAN Silkie Hens and Fertile Eggs A decorative and docile breed of chicken.

Various colours.

Chicks and young birds often available.

Eggs can be shipped. Based Almuñecar.

Call Helen: 659 280 142 Email: helenita10@hotmail.com

TENNIS CLUB Torre Del Mar. Open to new members. For information Ring 623192294.

WANTED BUSINESS PARTNER to run a coffee and ice cream shop in Torre del Mar. It is brand new, very close to the beach and the main playground. For more details call 651 357 209

If you have something to sell Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

Grade 1 Levis 501 & 505 30€ Denim dungarees 30€ Sports jackets; Nike, Fila etc... 12.50€ American hoodie sweat shirts 12.50€ Phone Peter 696 857 401

Text only - 3 euros 1/16 box - 10 euros

Pu ffs 20€ Enjoy the beach as you never did before. Stylish, and comfortable.

Beach puffs are made with extra resistant and high density materials, waterproof, filled with non-flammable polystyrene and available in different summer colours and combinations. Easily adaptable and will fit to your preferred position.

ORDERS AND HOME DELIvERY: 664 689 138

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vetiver Spain - Sayalonga Our Nursery is open by appointment and we are happy to be able to have people visit us. We have Moringa seedlings, Organic Moringa powder, and Comfrey plants. We also have some local trees and some exotic trees from Africa.

BEFORE 

There are many uses for Vetiver. We have over 350 Avocado trees. We use Vetiver to stop erosion on new terraces and Vetiver also acts as a wind block for young fragile Avocado trees. Planting Vetiver in the spring and summer gives them time to grow to 1-2 metres before planting the Avocado trees in the fall. In the springtime we cut back the Vetiver and use the cuttings as mulch around all of our trees. They all do very well with this mulch especially our Mango trees.

Decomposed Vetiver improves soil quality, keeps the weeds down and the bugs away.

Vetiver is an animal fodder and both horses and pigs love it. We use it in our chicken pen as it stops mites. In the spring cut the Vetiver back to allow more sunlight to reach the trees. In summer when the rest of your garden is brown the Vetiver will be green.

Go to this link and look at the Colours of Vetiver. https://www.vetiverspain.org/colors-of-vetiver.html

During the Covid-19 lockdown we learned something interesting. We were unable to get to several clients to cut back the Vetiver. We noticed how tall the Vetiver was around some young avocado trees. The shade the Vetiver provided kept the trees from burning. Our temperatures were over AFTER  450C recently and it damaged many trees in this area.

We are leaving the Vetiver tall for now and will cut them back when it cools down.

Here is a link to short video. https://youtu.be/rjTmb_LL2uo We suggest planting now as Vetiver is indigenousness to India and loves the heat of summer. Our strain of Vetiver is non invasive and sterile. Where you plant is where it stays.

Take a look at one of these 2 websites One for desktop users with a lot of information and one for mobile devices.

Mobile users: Vetiverspain.com Desktop users: Vetiverspain.org Email: info@vetiverspain.com Telephone: (34) 692 288 657

VetiverSpain

Tel: 620 678 240 Email: brittonuk.nb@gmail.com Free No Obligation Quotes References Available

www.nbconstruction.es

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69

Random Jokes “Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I just said.”

“When did you first notice this problem?”

“What problem?”

------------------------------------------------------------Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?

Because he was a party pooper.

------------------------------------------------------------Why'd the skeleton cross the road?

To go to the body shop.

------------------------------------------------------------A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'

The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'

Give Your Business A Boost This SUMMER from only 20€ per month Call: 664 210 468

Please mention The Sentinella Magazine When replying to adverts & shop local

Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

Thank you!

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& t i Fru Factsoy veg k Ch Bo

Bok choy is a leafy vegetable, dubbed as an ‘Asian green’, that generally has large leaves that clusters upwards from its base The leafy vegetable is also known as Chinese cabbage or pak choi, and is a member of the Brassica cabbage family.

The Chinese have been cultivating the vegetable for more than 5,000 years.

Bok choy contains vitamin C, vitamin E, and beta-carotene. These nutrients have powerful antioxidant properties that help protect cells against damage by free radicals.

Bok choy contains folate. Folate plays a role in the production and repair of DNA, so it might prevent cancer cells from forming due to mutations in the DNA. As a dark, leafy, cruciferous vegetable, bok choy is highly nutritious. It's packed with fibre, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, but is very low in calories and carbohydrates.

A cup of shredded raw bok choy has 1.5 grams of carbohydrate.

There are several different varieties of bok choy, with colour and size variations. But commonly, you'll just find bok choy sold in either regular or "baby" size.

Bok choy, known for its mild flavour, is good for stir-fries, braising, and soups. You can also eat it raw.

Like other cabbages, bok choy is at its peak in winter. But it is typically available year-round. When choosing bok choy, look for vibrant, green leaves accompanied by firm white stems that are a little moist. Bok choy leaves are similar in appearance to spinach and the stems look like celery but are more

white than green.

Bok choy is sometimes called a “soup spoon” because of the shape of its leaves.

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71

Italian Mother Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female room-mate, Maria. During the evening, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's room-mate is.

While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his room-mate than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email: Dear Mama, I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son...........Anthony Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read: Dear son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving Mama Moral: Never lie to your Mama!

Businesses Chatelin ortopedia & pedicurist practice They are a company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic sector. Linda is a qualified pedicurist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker, for all your inlays and sport inlays, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...open Monday - Thursday 10am 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325 Dentadanés Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices, a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991.

We have two dentists, (one Danish female, one English male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at www.dentadanes.com for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to and pictures of the clinic. Open Monday to Friday 10am - 5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German and Spanish.

Tel: 952 52 96 66.

La llave de oro, Calle Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening & repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes & other security products. wHoliday & Winter Rentals wEnglish, French and Spanish Speaking w1 to 3 Bedroom Apartments & Villas wBooking via WhatsApp, Facebook or Website Visit our website: www.nerjabeachholidays.com to view our range of properties and enjoy our Virtual Tour Contact Karine: +34 644 793 168 Email: admin@nerjabeachholidays.com

CHATELIN ORTOPEDIA & FULLY QUALIFIED PEDICURIST wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

High Level Pedicurist

General care and advice wFor all inlays (inc. Sports) for gorgeous feet, because we care about your feet as much as you do! wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds MORE than just a pedicure, wRehabilitaion articles, etc. look good, FEEL gREAT!!

Opening Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email: henrychatelin@hotmail.com

In

Nerja

Do you need some expert advice in Holiday Accommodation? Nerja Beach Holidays are waiting to do just this! Visit their properties directly via their Virtual tour on www.nerjabeachholidays.com. They offer all kinds of holiday and winter rentals. They speak English, French and Spanish to help you along the way. They have an extensive range of 1 to 3 bed apartments and villas. Booking can be made via Whatsapp, FB, Website, Email or phone.

Nerja Beach Holidays have it all covered! Contact Karine +34 644 793 168 / admin@nerjabeachholidays.com Erica is very excited to announce that she has moved her hair salon from Torrox Costa to Nerja!

She will be working alongside Walli&Ron until they happily retire, and then take over the salon. She is very thankful for the past six years where she has built up a wonderful and friendly clientele.

LOCKSMITH Erica explains, “It is the right time to take the next step and challenge in my career.�

Home Service Welcoming new clients and hoping that all of her old covering all ones will continue coming. The salon team is looking Axarquia forward to seeing you all soon. FROM SEPTEMBER 1ST. 2020 the address is: Calle Cristo 10, Nerja.

Calle granada, 88 24 HOURS NERJA (Down the passage in front of the Coviran Supermarket Tel: 952 52 4651 606 939 929 - the Post Office street. Call: 952 523 966

incorporating

Stylists From 1st September New address: Calle Cristo 10, NERJA (down side in front of Coviran Supermarket) In Post Office street

Tel: 952 523 966 Mob: 610 876 127

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Film

w e i v Re st Ho

Director: Rob Savage Writers: Gemma Hurley, Rob Savage Stars: Haley Bishop, Jemma Moore, Emma Louise Webb A Zoom call goes terrifyingly wrong in the fresh new horror film Host, focussing on a group of friends in lockdown who decide to conduct a socially-distanced seance over group video chat – unleashing a vengeful poltergeist.

British director Robert Savage, who helms the project, was reportedly inspired by a real-life medium telling him that their business was thriving during the coronavirus pandemic. Six friends get together during lockdown for their weekly zoom call. It's Haley's turn to organise an activity and

instead of a quiz, she's arranged for a medium to conduct a séance. Bored and feeling mischievous, Jemma decides to have some fun and invents a story about a boy in her school who hanged himself. However, her prank gives licence for a demonic presence to cross over, taking on the guise of the boy in Jemma's made-up story. The friends begin noticing strange occurrences in their homes as the evil presence begins to make itself known, and they soon realise that they might not survive the night.

All the characters are given the real-life names of the actors playing them, similar to The Blair Witch Project – and it likely goes some way to enhancing the film’s authentic feel.

Star Rating ****/***** How can I watch Host?

Host is now available worldwide on horror film streaming platform Shudder. You can subscribe to Shudder direct, or via Amazon Prime Video – you can try out the service with a 7-day free trial, after which it’ll cost you £4.99 a month

Have your Air Conditioning serviced and repaired correctly and legally by our technicians. Certification of COVID disinfection is available for Commercial and Holiday Rental properties. We are based in both Nerja and Viñuela and are now able to attend to you even quicker up and down the coast.

SUPPLY AND INSTALLATION OF MITSUBISHI, DAIKIN, SAMSUNg DOMESTIC AND COMMERCIAL A/C SYSTEMS

Polar Air Conditioning - First to be built on reputation, reliability and recommendation.

info@polarair.eu

Call Peter on: 655 211 192 Call: on: 655633 211886 192 or Jordan 921

www.polarair.eu

Indian Cuisine

Delicious food at the Best Venue on the Promenade in Torre del Mar

Use the link below to view menu or scan QR code https://www.movilmenu.com/indus/29740

Call: 631 080 785

Open 13.00 - 15.30 / 19.00 - 22.30 (Closed Wednesdays) TORRE DEL MAR (opposite Yacht Club) Indus Chef Spice Torre del Mar

Do you have health or mobility issues?

Would support enable you to remain independent at your own home?

Liz Brown is probably the only UK trained nurse to have ENB specialist qualifications in the care of older people. Liz is registered to practice in Andalucia, together with her fully police checked and insured home care support team. We offer one-on-one companionship and emotional support in the comfort of your own home.

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ss e l e Us cts ey are us!eless Fa As alwaybsutthamazing

pockets has a name — gnurr.

NASA had to rename the sizes of the apparatus used for male astronauts to pee, from small, medium, and large, to large, gigantic, and humongous, because no one was willing to pick their true size.

There are 13 witches in a coven.

People with higher incomes generally prefer their toilet paper to come over the roll, while those with lower incomes prefer it to go under.

Our noses and ears never stop growing, while our eyes remain the same size for life.

Women have been found to blink more often than men.

The line between the two numbers in a fraction is called the vinculum.

Some species of piranhas are vegetarians, while all butterflies are carnivores.

The colder your bedroom the higher the chance of having a nightmare.

It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce…… and 13 hours to build a Toyota

A jiffy is an actual unit of time, not just an expression. Around 10 milliseconds.

I would like to thank Tony of The Sentinella for his help and friendship and Josh, Mark & Sheila from La Tasca for their delicious food

Rats can tread water for three days without stopping.

The lint that collects in the bottom of your

From TT

HEATINg - COOLINg - SOLAR - HEAT PUMPS SALES - SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

TRAPICHE MARKET IS BACK! 1st September Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm

Come and enjoy a relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa.

From 1st September, we open our doors again!

Please note that we will be obeying the restriction rules with this being the new norm.

So come on down for one step further to normality!!

Take the A-272 turning onto the Velez-Malaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Call Anita on: 627 877 164

Early to bed, Early to rise, Work like hell, And ADVERTISE! Laurence J. Peter

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

From as little as 5 euros per month!!* Call: 664 210 468

Email: sales@thesentinella.com

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Fun

cs i P ny

T p

R

I 1 2 2

To advertise Call: 664 210 468

Recipe Of The Month This month’s recipe is meat free, so a perfect Veggie dish to try Risotto Verde Ingredients 1.7 litres/3 pints of vegetable stock 2 tbsp olive oil 2 garlic cloves crushed 2 leeks shredded 400g/14oz Arbonio rice (super fine rice) 300ml/10fl oz dry white wine 4tbsp chopped fresh herbs 225g/8oz baby spinach 3tbsp low-fat natural yoghurt Salt and pepper Shredded leek to garnish Method 1. Pour the stock into a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Lower the heat to a simmer.

2. Heat the oil in a separate pan and cook the garlic and leeks, stirring occasionally for 2-3 minutes until softened but not browned.

3. Stir in the rice and cook, stirring consistently, until translucent and well coated with oil.

4. Pour in half the wine and a little of the hot stock; it will bubble and steam rapidly. Cook over a gentle heat until all of the liquid has been absorbed.

5. Gradually stir in the remaining stock and wine then cook over a low heat for 25 minutes or until the rice is creamy.

6. Stir in the chopped mixed herbs and baby spinach, season to taste with salt and pepper and cook for another 2 minutes. Stir in the natural yoghurt and garnish with the shredded leek. Serve immediatley.

SPANISH/ ENgLISH/ PORTUgUESE TEACHER Did you know that by learning a new language your first language is improved?

wFun teacher wover 5 years experience teaching children, adults and corporations wAudio and written translator wonline classes available Practice and preparation for Cambridge IgCSE, WJEC (gCSE), AS, A2, Common Entrance Examinations, AQA gCSE. Tel: 677 162 910 Email: graziellaabreu.ky@icloud.com

TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

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Health Watch Keep your insides healthy and eat your way through the alphabet. This month we look at how eating Garlic, Ginger and Grapes can boost your health in more ways than one...

Garlic It may cause your breath to smell a bit stinky, but garlic is an all-round wonder when it comes to health benefits. It strengthens the heart and blood vessels, fights bacterial, fungal and viral infections and acts as an excellent remedy for respiratory infections such as flu, bronchitis and whooping cough.

It is yummy to eat with many dishes including pasta and chicken. And to avoid that pongy morning after breath chew parsley after your meal, or buy some very strong mints!

Ginger This is a popular ingredient in Chinese dishes and here’s why... It lowers blood pressure, prevents cancer, is good for your bones and

acts as an anti-depressant. Ginger protects the body’s blood platelets from sticking together and so stops blood clots from forming. It also prevents motion sickness. I like root ginger just eaten out of the packs you can pick up from most health shops.

Grapes They are grown by the bunch and eaten by the handful. Grapes, available in red, and white varieties, are high in levels of the antioxidant quercetin. They are good little detoxifiers, particularly of the skin, liver kidneys and bowels.

Grape juice is also very good for you and it doesn’t taste bad either! It can help prevent tooth decay, keeping Mr Dentist at bay, and it also prevents osteoporosis.

Grapes are great in this weather to pop in the freezer for three to four hours. When they are frozen take them out and eat them one by one. They make great refreshing snacks.

ADVERTISE HERE If you are a business owner and reading this, then so are your

POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS!!!

For Free specialist days in September Please call for details

Contact us for details 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

Call Jayne: 711 019 150

alcalá Transport

Providing Man & Van service to and from the UK twice a month (two vans) 100% Natural Dog Treats

Pure Meat Treats

Email: jaynemarshall62@yahoo.com

Complete maintenance & cleaning of; Swimming pools, houses & offices Communities & Gardens (palm pruning) Disinfection against Covid-19 Avda. Infanta Elena 1, Torre del Mar 695 163 849 / 695 163 856 Email: novaxarmar@gmail.com

Trustworthy person to take care of your home

wEfficient and dependable carer wOwn vehicle wCleaner wExperienced cook wCare of your loved ones (children / adults) wHomework help wMedication assistance wImmediate availabilty

Call: 622 363 051 Email: carlagolden5@gmail.com

wReferences available wCommercial & private work wFull & part loads wNo obligation quotes w10 years working in Spain wFully insured, Spanish registered company Call Colin on 608 085 700 or 0044 7936 886 822 Email: alcalamav@gmail.com

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891

DENTIST Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892 ULTRA CLEAN

Apartment - Townhouse - Villa

CLEAN & CHANGEOVERS FO R AL L Y O UR B UI LD IN g R E QU IR E M E NT S Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing.

Free no obligation quotes. very competitive prices. visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

rob@platinumbuildingservices.net www.platinumbuildingservices.net

Te l : 66 5 3 2 2 1 36 - 9 52 5 39 42 3

Key holding - Laundry - Gardening - Meet & Greet

Torre del Mar Pammy: 674 597 984

IZZI&CAPELLI Torre del Mar The Hair Experts Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI

Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621

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s Now a b e l Ce en & Travolt Th John John Joseph Travolta was born February 18, 1954, he is an American actor, singer, dancer, and pilot.

He was the youngest of six children, Travolta was born and raised in Englewood, New Jersey. His father, Salvatore "Sam" Travolta was a semiprofessional American football player turned tire salesman.His mother, Helen Cecilia was an actress and singer. Travolta attended Dwight Morrow High School, but dropped out as a junior at age 17 in 1971.

Travolta rose to fame during the 1970s, appearing on the television series Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979) and starring in the box office successes Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1978).

In 1992, John’s plane experienced an electrical failure. He is a licensed pilot and was flying with his family. He had to make an emergency landing in Washington, DC, and almost had a collision with a commercial craft during the descent. Fortunately, everyone was ok.

One of Travolta’s first loves at 22 years old was Diana Hyland who was 18 years his senior. Unfortunately, the love couldn’t last long: Hyland passed away while Travolta was filming Saturday Night Live.

Travolta eventually found new love and

married his wife Kelly Preston. The couple have had three children, although their oldest, Jett, has since passed away. Their middle child, Ella Bleu, was born in 2000. Their youngest child is Benjamin and was born in 2010.

His eldest son Jett Travolta suffered from seizures brought on by Kawasaki disease, and the young boy died of a seizure during a Christmas vacation to the Bahamas in 2009.

Although he was raised as a Roman Catholic, Travolta converted to Scientology in the 1970s. His wife is also a part of the Church of Scientology.

Travolta’s career took a mild upswing with Look Who’s Talking (1989) and its two sequels (1990, 1993), but he did not return to his former prominence until the release of Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction (1994). After Pulp Fiction movie, offers poured in, and Travolta’s later notable films included Get Shorty (1995), Face/Off (1997), Primary Colors (1998), Swordfish (2001), and Hairspray (2007).

Following the death of his wife Kelly Preston in July 2020, Travolta hinted on his Instagram account that he would be putting his career on hold, stating "I will be taking some time to be there for my children who have lost their mother, so forgive me in advance if you don’t hear from us for a while.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Time out for Roman Presenter Roman Kemp has taken a break from his role as host on Capital Radio following the tragic death of his best friend.

The presenter, 27, was left devastated after his pal and co-worker Joe Lyons suddenly died last month.

Roman and his co-presenters Sian Welby and Sonny Jay took time off from the show after being told the heartbreaking news. The trio returned to work on August 10 for the first time since Joe's death.

Now, the former I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! finalist — son of actor and former Spandau Ballet member Martin Kemp — has decided to take a longer break away from the show.

He has been replaced by Capital duo Rob Howard and Lauren Layfield, who will fill Roman's shoes until he returns.

Ellen “bullies” sacked Ellen DeGeneres has taken action against those thought to be at the centre of the sexual misconduct and workplace bullying accusations that have threatened to engulf her career.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show has seen three of its producers fired, with executive producers Ed Glavin and Kevin Leman and co-executive producer Jonathan Norman all being given the boot from the daytime talk show.

Variety has reported that they were the ones that former employees accused of fostering the 'toxic' workplace atmosphere on the show.

Other Ellen DeGeneres shows, including NBC's Ellen's Game of Games, have also axed Glavin and Leman in the wake of their dismissal from her main show.

Ellen spoke to employees in a video conference call, in which she shared the news of the dismissals.

A source told Variety that Ellen described the recent allegations as 'heartbreaking' as she spoke intimately about the preceding weeks.

The 62-year-old comedienne was reportedly "emotional" and "apologetic" in the call to more than 200 employees, according to sources.

She also admitted that the leaders on the show had not been sensitive to "human beings" as they focused on making sure the show was a "well-oiled machine."

Ellen also said that it was true that the show had 'alienated' employees and guests because the shooting timetables were changed at the last minute.

She has now agreed that this would not happen anymore and that the schedule will

be adhered to in the future.

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C el e Newbrity s

Stargazing axed Stargazing Live presenter Dara Ó Briain has lashed out at the BBC for shelving his documentary series with Professor Brian Cox — while funding Scarlett Moffatt’s conspiracy theory podcast, which aired her belief that the Moon landings were faked.

The show - previously described by the BBC as the “celestial event of the year” was broadcast live from observatories across the world, with Dara starring alongside Professor Brian Cox to inform viewers about space.

Dara said he was “trying not to be depressed that while the BBC don’t seem to want to make any more Stargazing Live, they will pay Scarlett Moffatt to make a podcast about how she doesn’t believe in the Moon landings”.

Speaking about BBC podcast Scarlett Moffatt Wants to Believe — where the Gogglebox star claimed Hollywood director Steven Spielberg could have been involved in faking the Moon landings — Dara complained that Scarlett did not adequately dispel the theories she discussed on her show.

“I think this kind of series is a shame,” he wrote online. “We left mirrors on the Moon in 1969 that we still bounce lasers off.”

Stargazing celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Moon landings last year.

Dara later added: “I want more smart stuff on the telly.”

Ian absent EastEnders legend Ian Beale is reportedly being written out of future episodes of the soap while actor Adam Woodyatt takes an “extended break.” Just ahead of the show returning to screens, and Ian set to take centre stage, an "explosive twist" will lead to the character taking some time out, it's claimed.

A BBC source told the Daily Star about the break and stated that it was due to a plot on the BBC soap. A separate source added: “Writers are staying tight-lipped about what happens, so it’s not known yet what the future will hold for the character.

"There are no guarantees and anything can happen in Albert Square.”

OUR BILINGUAL TEAM ARE HERE TO HELP YOU Opening hours: 09.00 to 14.00

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91

Take Your Pick!

Continuation from last months nose picking titles. Which one are you?

Utensil Pick - When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren't enough to get the job done to your satisfaction.

Pick A Lot - What we would call abnormal amounts of picking. Anything in the three digit realm we consider a bit too much for a 24 hour time frame.

Fake Nose - Scratch When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

Pick And Flick - Snot now becomes a weapon against your sister and others in range around you.

Pick Your Brains - Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.

Pick And Save - When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.

Depression Pick - When you're sad and the only way to fill the void is to pick so hard and fast that the agony overcomes your feeling of remorse and depression.

Deep Salvage Pick - Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages.

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Random Joke :) A school class spends a day at a farm and learns everything around farming.

After school, a boy goes home and is eager to tell what he has seen.

So he goes to his mother and says “Mum do you know that bulls mate once a day!”

The mother replies, “Why don’t you go to your dad and tell him that.”

So the boy goes to his dad and says, “Dad,

mum asked me to tell you that bulls mate once a day.”

The dad looks a bit surprised but finally asked the boy, “But do bulls mate with the same cow?”

The boy replies, “Of course not, it’s always with a different one.”

So the father says, “Now why don’t you go to your mother and tell her that!”

Volunteers Wanted English Speaking Email: 29094social@cruzroja.es

The Sentinella Bargain Boxes This size from just 20 euros per month +IvA Call: 664 210 468

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93

Unspoilt Andalusia Why getting away from it all seems more and more interesting I often write, in this tiny little editorial space, about what’s happening in the property market in this little area of Andalusia, about prices, if they are up or down, about paperwork hurdles one has to jump through, who is buying and who is selling. And as we reflect on the market in these very difficult times for all of us, one subject is emerging from the fog and shining like a bright light! – that of the need to get away from it all.

Since the Covid crisis began we have seen people looking to escape, find a more natural and less populated place to enjoy everyday life, and many of these people have discovered that actually they can tele-work without too much difficulty. Meetings are held on Teams and paperwork transferred in a second. Efficiency is even potentially greater than when one works in an office. This is attracting a younger market, interested, for the first time, in buying something here, rather than spending a fortune on a flat in London or Munich, or wherever they may be from.

Rustic, rural, simple, maybe with some land, or maybe a village house in a picturesque Andalusian village, that is what people want now! Some are looking for a small place to spend several months a year, and telework from there, others a permanent move and the addition of a bit of land to get stuck into a bit of self-sufficiency. Either way, we are well positioned to help! A good example is La Casa del Amparo, a simply lovely little, affordable country house in Rio Bermuza, which comes with a plot of 1050m2 of flat, irrigated land, ideal for growing fruit trees, vegetables, and having a few chickens. A couple could work from home here, with a simple, but active and balanced life, learn Spanish from the locals, and enjoy our wonderful climate!

And what a lovely way to live! We like this new trend - long may it last and grow!

By Toni Waterman, Unspoilt Andalusia (see advertisement below)

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95

A Trip To Seville Seville, Spain is the passionate, beating heart of Andalucia. It is a city filled with joy, charm and character alongside lots of history. A trip here will revitalise you and make you desperate to return. As a former resident of this amazing city here are my top tips to have the best time in this unique destination.

Seville is famous for its orange trees. The orange fruit are like Christmas tree baubles decorating the many trees. However, the best time is actually before the fruit arrives.

Plan a trip in the Autumn or from mid February to mid March and your senses will be greeted with something quite incredible: a perfumed city! The orange blossom scent is a wonderful heady aroma and as the trees blossom, their fragrance permeates every corner of the city. Sevilla is the perfumed city.

If you go outside of this time, do not be tempted to sample the fruit. They are bitter and largely used for the production of marmalade.

Sevilla has spectacular views and an impressive skyline. Many bars, hotels or apartments have accessible rooftops. Here, you’ll get incredible views of the city with its distinctive buildings and churches. It might be the place where residents just hang out their washing but struggle through their sheets and smalls and you’ll be rewarded with great views!

If you haven’t got apartment access, don’t worry. Head to the Santa Cruz district and the luxurious EME hotel (https://www.emecatedralhotel.com/). Whilst your budget might not stretch to the cost of the accommodation here, you can certainly take their modernist elevator to the rooftop bar with its unsurpassed view of the Giralda accompanied with chill-out music.

The rooftop with great public access and views is the Metropol Parasol, or as it’s known, the Setas (http://setasdesevilla.com/) or mushrooms. This weird wooden construction is a love or hate of modern architecture but the panoramic views from the top are superb.

When you visit Sevilla follow the local’s time schedule. Shopping, walking and business is

finished by 1pm, 2pm at the latest. A fabulous place to spend the morning is The Alcazar, the beautiful gardens in the centre of town. Or if you’re a shopaholic, try Nervion where the Seville Football Team’s stadium is surrounded by a huge shopping centre. Or stroll the narrow streets and browse the local artisan shops. When you get to 2pm, find somewhere for lunch from the many places along the way. I love the Plaza de la Alfalfa for its quirky bars or Plaza Encarnation by the Setas. If you’re shopping and craving a view, El Corte Ingles by Plaza Del Duque has a top floor gourmet food court and rooftop terrace: better than Debenhams, eh!

Then it’s siesta! All the smaller shops close, the restaurants take a well deserved rest and the city is quiet until sunset.

By night, this city truly comes alive. Seville is nocturnal. By 10pm the streets are thronged with families, couples and groups having tapas, socialising and loving life.

The Alameda is one of the central hubs often recommended to head for but, for me, it’s too touristy, even though I lived there! Head one street parallel and onto Calle Feria. Here you’ll find better, more authentic bars and cafes. The Mercado or market has been revamped into a foodie’s heaven with lots of little tapas bars, whilst still remaining a functioning daily market.

No one can deny that this has been a strange year! However, we live in one of the most beautiful regions of Spain: Andalucia. Travel restrictions might prevent us travelling far but they currently don’t stop us exploring the many delights on our doorstep. Seville is an easy two and a quarter hour drive from my Axarquía home along the often empty A92.

It’s well worth the trip!

Buen viaje!

Written by Grimble

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Where Is It? Find the Puppy

Last month’s answer on page 120

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Dine In Style: Sam’s Riverside Hammersmith is located in west London.

Kensington borders the district to the east and Chiswick to the west. Shepherd’s Bush is found to the north and Fulham to the south of Hammersmith. The original definition of Hammersmith was a place with a hammer smithy or forge.

Architecture and culture feature as further attractions to this area. The world-famous Hammersmith Apollo Concert Hall and Theatre, plus other entertainment venues, attract many visitors, too.

fish options, plus pork, steak, partridge, duck and more. I opted for Brick Chicken, Black Cabbage, plus Poor Man’s Parmesan, with selected sides of brussels sprouts, nutmeg brown butter and creamed spinach. This proved to be an excellent choice, being succulent, tender and very flavoursome. The complementing flavours were ‘exceptional’ – not a word I use lightly.

Sam’s Riverside is Sam Harrison’s restaurant and is located by the River Thames, adjacent to the Riverside Studios and close to Hammersmith Bridge. Opened 2019, Sam’s Riverside has attracted much interest (and recommendations) since commencement.

Whether pre theatre, lunch, dinner (maybe romantic) or the ever-popular Sunday Lunch event is of interest, Sam’s Riverside certainly does not disappoint in any way – ambience, cuisine, food, drinks, service and the genuine, warm welcome from Arianna.

Chocolate Pudding, Milk Ice Cream, Honeycomb, absolutely ‘hits the spot’ and, with the flavours coming through, brings the dining experience towards a (reluctant) close.

The wines and drinks offer beverages from worldwide origins, with something for everyone. The wines showcase countries, regions and varietals that are most excellent and very popular, be it a red, white, sparkling, fortified or other. Gift vouchers are available, too – now, there’s a thought! Thank you to the brigade of very talented chefs and kitchen personnel and to Krystian for knowledge of the cuisine and exemplary service, throughout. Highly recommended.

Starters offer oysters and seafood, including salmon and crab, plus other favourites of beef tartare, quail egg and game terrine. My selection of Roast Butternut Squash, Goat’s Curd, Spinach and Pumpkin Seeds arrived perfectly cooked and presented. Certainly a good indication of the qualities that were to follow. Main courses have

Desserts list indulgent delectations, including Queen of Puddings and Rum Baba. Chilled

Sam’s Riverside, 1 Crisp Walk, London Tel: 44 (0) 20 8237 1020 E-mail: sam@samsriverside.co.uk www.samsriverside.co.uk

As always, Enjoy!

Trevor Langley

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es Chariti

What´s on in your area?

Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way call Wendy: 660271984 or Vera: 680 315880.

SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance.

If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to nerjaclub@yahoo.com The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: nerjaclub@yahoo.com http://www.americaninternationalclub.com Los Romanes Royal British Legion. Los Romanes branch has two venues. We meet weekly at The Asador Restaurant Puente Don Manuel, on Mon 12.00 – 1400 hrs. And on a Wed at midday at the Bar La Vega, Torre Del Mar. Our friendly group get together not only to raise funds for and support TRBL in Spain, but also meet to be with friends and have some fun, including quizzes, bingo, monthly lunches etc. You do not have to have served in the Armed Forces to become a member.

Interested? Then please Phone Branch Secretary Sue on 691 544 140 or just pop in for a chat.

Furniture shop, Torre del Mar is looking for volunteers who have a free morning or afternoon every week to help us to sell second hand furniture and attend to customers in the new store. Would you like to help us? Contact 952564910/671048304 voluntariado@cudeca.org PIPPA’S PAWPRINTS CHARITY SHOP Calle Antonio Jimenez No. 4b, behind the Bus Station and the Notary. Cards, bric-a-brac, bags, shoes and quality clothing at knock-down prices.

Now open from Tues to Sat 10.30am - 2pm.

622574174

Date Diasr For y

Every 2nd Wednesday in the month AAR monthly quiz at La Tasca. 3pm start. Opposite the police station, Torre del Mar. Call Shelia for details 640 328 051 Every Monday is quiz night at the Irish Rover, El Copo, Torre del Mar. Come and support local charities. Call 603 186 347 to reserve a table.

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Argentine Tango classes in Torrox: Wed 5pm 6pm Salón Pilates con Lorena Calle Deire, edificio fantasia, sótano 2 derecha, Torrox pueblo Mario Correa 649 59 55 94 mac1710@gmail.com Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners.

For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 The Nerja Players meet on 1st and 3rd Tues of the month between Oct and apr. Perfomances are rehearsed readings. Calle Castilla Perez 1, Nerja.

Look for the very large BLuE entrance door. We are between Salon de Juegos and a Supermarket.

Reservations on our website.

Email: admin@thenerjaplayers.com Move It To Music! dance fitness classes take place Saturdays at 11am annually from mid October to Easter, at Nerja’s Millenium Wellness Center in Pasaje Milenio 3 (just off the far entrance to Carabeo car park). Gentle exercise and simple dance moves set to catchy pop tunes. Ideal for beginners and very popular with the 50-plus age group. Enquiries: WhatsApp/tel 675 846 217 / moveittomusic@yahoo.co.uk Fellowship of Jesus Christ the King Whether you live in, or are visiting the Nerja area, we would be delighted to welcome you to the Fellowship of Jesus Christ the King. Our meetings are characterised by uplifting songs and relevant sermons and a modern but reverent service. Why not come along to praise God and meet and make new friends, every Sun at 10.30. Prayer meetings on Wed at 11.00. Pasaje San Miguel, Nerja, Email: fojctk@gmail.com www.facebook.com/FOJCTK

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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts The Top Ten Worst Pandemics in History...

1. The Black Death: Europe and Asia (1347-1351). 200 million dead.

2. New World Smallpox: Americas (1520 – 1600s). 56 million dead.

3. Spanish Flu: Worldwide (1918-1920) (40-50 million dead) 4. Plague of Justinian: Eastern Roman Empire (541-750) (30-50 million dead) 5. HIV/AIDS: Sub-Saharan Africa (1981-Present) 25-35 million dead 6. Third Plague: China (1885 – 1950s) Death Toll: 12 million dead

10,9 Top ,8

7,6,5

,

Tens

,4,3 ,2, 1,

The Top Ten Worst Wars for Deaths in History...

1. World War II (1939-1945) 72 million dead.

2. An Lushan Rebellion (755-763) 36 million dead.

3. Mongol Conquests (13th century) 30 million dead 4. Qing Dynasty conquest (1612-1662) 25 million dead.

7. Antonine Plague: Rome (165-180): 5 million dead

5. Taiping Rebellion (1851-1864) 20 million dead.

8. Cholera: India/Indonesia (1817-Present) 95,000/year dead

6. World War I (1914-1918) 20 million dead.

9. Hong Kong Flu: China (1968-1970) 1-4 million dead

7. Conquests of Timur (1369-1405) 20 million dead

10. The Great Plague of Milan: Italy (1629-1631) 1 million dead

8. Dungan Revolt (1862-1877) 12 million dead.

9. Russian Civil War (1917-1921) 9 million dead 10. Second Congo War (1998-2003) 5.4 million dead.

Quiz Answers 1. Nine 2. Anode 3. Butterfly 4. Victoria 5. Six 6. The Revenant 7. Doe 8. Hands 9. Elton John 10. Jason Bateman 11. Ten

Riddle Answers:

Last Month’s Crossword Answers

1. A coffin 2. Seven 3. Nine 4. Candle 5. Watermelon 6. Secret 7. Promise

Find Spaniel Answer

100

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n o i t a m Infor

: 091 2 6 Police Local y : 952 540 6662 it 0 4 ic 5 r t Elec ater : 952 W

...In our own random order!

Bus Stations Torre del Mar Call: 952 559 100 Malaga Call: 952 350 061 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104 Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 Weekly Market days (mornings only) Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche Wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa Thursdays: Velez Malaga, Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez, Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Malaga ITV Call: 902 702 727 www.itvcita.com Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 952 048 804 Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272 Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Consulates UK 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland 952 475 108 Germany 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Chemists www.bit.ly/dutychemists

2 ia : 06 Guardlance : 061 Ambu : 080 Fire

Telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004 Church services in English The Anglican Parish of Nerja & Almuñécar Services at Iglesia San Miguel (St Michael's Church), Nerja every Sunday at 12 noon and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel), Almuñécar every Sunday at 9.30 a.m. (except during August). There is also a short service of Holy Communion on Wednesdays at 9.30 a.m. in the Church Shop, Calle Málaga, Nerja. Priest in Charge: Father Nigel Thomas. Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460.

Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sun Tel: 952 219 396 Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sun 10.30. Tel 952 407 050 Anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña).

Sunday Anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays.

Torre del Mar Evangelical Church Torre del Mar Presbyterian Church (Evangelical) meets for worship each Sunday at 11.00am in Legends Bar, C/ Don Cipriano Maldonado Jiménez, Torre del Mar. Email info@torredelmarchurch.es Torre del Mar: International Church Málaga/ Cornerstone International Church. Meets Sun @ 11:30am & Wed @ 6:30 pm for Bible Study. Calle Solera 2, Bajos,Torre del Mar Evangelical Church - El Puente Christian Fellowship Sunday Worship 11am - Bible Study Wed 2-4pm. AA - Wed 7pm. Charity shop/books open Wed, Thurs, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. We meet at El Puente Christian Fellowship premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobilaria, Cruce de Periana Puente don Manuel. 952 117 145 or 952 518 185 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

Taxis Torre: 653 917 004, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 653 917 004, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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‘The 'Big Cats' We are a group of Jaguar enthusiasts living in Andalucia. We have a meeting each month for a meal and a good old chat about our cars. Contact Philip Wray on 669 434 457 JEC.CostaDelSol@gmail.com Join El Valle! El Valle is one of Axarquia’s most successful and longest running social clubs based in Lake Vinuela area. We meet on the first Mon of each month (not Aug) at Punto de Encuentro Asador, Puente don Manuel) At our monthly meetings you can find out about our wide range of activities that range from the cultural and gastronomic to quizzes, games and films. We also organise days out and short trips away. www.el-valleasociacion.com LADIES WOT LUNCH 2nd Monday of each month except July & Aug. Restaurante el Trapiche, Velez Malaga. 1pm for 1:30 start, finishing 4 to 4:30.

Enjoy a 4 course meal with wine for just 11€ with a raffle included and an interesting 20 minute talk on a variety of subjects. patriciagabbitas@gmail.com Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar, Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar. 1st to 11th Sept opening times Tues by appointment only 11.00 to 10.00 and Fri 11.00 till 13.00. 14th Sep reopening mornings only Mon to Thurs 10.00 till 13.00 and Fri as usual 11.00 - 13.00. Sorry but we cannot accept donations of books, clothes etc. due to current guidelines. For further information please contact the Centre, Torre del Mar Tel. 952 543 334 E-mail: luxmundi@lux-mundi.org www.lux-mundi.org We would also like to invite you to become a Friend of Lux Mundi, please call in the Centre for more information, If you are already a Friend please call in to renew your card.

The Nerja Philosophical Group For info please call Tom Bryson on 699 170 931 Trumps Bridge We are a very friendly international Bridge Club playing Duplicate twice weekly on Mon and Thurs afternoons at 3.00pm. We play at El Zoco, Calle Neptuno, Nerja. www.bridgewebs.com/trumpsnerja The Nerja History Group for anyone interested in Spanish History. We have Lectures and trips each month. Meetings are held at the Nerja Museum, above the underground car park, starting at 11.00am and finish approx. 12.30pm. Please email: nerjahistorygroup@yahoo.com

101

What’s O n Phoenix Club We now meet every Tues between 12 and 2pm at Bar La Vega, Avenida Andalucia and is sandwiched between the small Mercadona Supermarket and the Repsol Garage on the way out of Torre towards Malaga. Call Gail 951 067 723 www.phoenixsocialclub.co.uk Short Mat Bowls is now operating in the hotel Jimesol, C/ Chaparil, Nerja on Mon and Thurs afternoons from 1.45pm to 4.15pm. New members welcome. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579 for more details. www.shortmatbowlsnerja.com Golf: TOGS (Torrox Golf Society) If you would like a friendly but competitive game of golf each Sunday morning at Anoreta, then why not join TOGS, possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa. Email: torroxgolfsociety@gmail.com or call Captain: Bob Bennett on 691 571 570 International Choir recruiting singers. Would you like to join a choir? We are inviting new singers to become members of the local, long-established choir, Coral Coraxalia under the leadership of Eusebio Pita. Rehearsals Thurs 17.30–8pm in the room under Inmobiliaria Maroma Estate Agents (on the left at the crossroads in Puente Don Manuel A402) For more info call 689 111 352 email eucorax@hotmail.es RBL Benajarafe Branch meet every Fri from 12.00 at the Restaurante Mediterraneo situated on the coast road in Benajarafe. We enjoy bingo, quizzes, various entertainment & monthly outings.

We have an excellent weekly lunch & welcome new/existing RBL members. Tel: 653108415 benajaraferblspainsouth@gmail.com Colmenar Social Club is a group whose aim is to promote friendship and assistance to all our members. We meet every Wed from 12.00pm at Arco Del Sol Hotel, Colmenar on A356 KM9. A great venue to enjoy a variety of activities such as wine tasting, talks, cooking demonstrations, monthly lunches, car sharing days out, theatre visits and a monthly bowling group.

Tel: Carol on 623 125 656 RBL - Nerja meets twice a month for lunch - on the 3rd Thur at the Al Andalus Hotel, Maro. Everyone is welcome to join us. Booking is essential. Please contact Kim on tel: +44 7988029001 or email: kim_bowe1@hotmail.com.

102

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) : a h a Jokes h Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle.

They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1,000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, "Fook dat.

Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me! " Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrot shooting either!"

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his

spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgiejumping, den Seamus parrot shooting. .......and now Sean and his fook'n hengliding.

------------------------------------------------------------A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mummy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mummy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mummy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's licence.

It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again. The little girl started off with, "Mummy, Mummy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

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103

Jokes h a ha There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a bloke on his new shiny motorbike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''Did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yep,'' the bloke said, ''He sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the man a €20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a number plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the man said, ‘‘Nice horse you got their sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

The bloke turned to the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the d**k underneath the horse instead of on top.''

------------------------------------------------------------A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of 10€.

A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving. ''What's the gimmick?'' he inquired. ''No gimmick,'' the woman answered. ''My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary.''

------------------------------------------------------------Q: What's rough and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, starts with a c, ends with a t, and has a u and an n in it?

A: A coconut.

------------------------------------------------------------Nuns where repainting their chapel. They kept getting paint on their clothes so they decided to remove them, but agreed not to let ANYONE in until they were done and replaced their clothing. Then they heard some one knocking and one of them yelled, "Whooo is it?"

‘The blind man!'' he yelled back.

They decided since he was blind it would be all right. They opened the door and the man said, ''Nice boobs! Where do you want the blinds?"

------------------------------------------------------------A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought

a new hearing aid. It cost me 4,000€, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour, 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

------------------------------------------------------------A little girl asked her mother for ten cents to give to an old lady in the park.

Her mother was touched by the child's kindness. "There you are, my dear, but, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?"

"Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells sweets!"

------------------------------------------------------------A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behaviour. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The eight-year-old went to meet with him first.

The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?" At that, the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet.

His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

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s e g a P e l Puzz Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. What is the highest number used in a Sudoku puzzle?

2. What is the term for a positive electrode?

1. Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?

3. Which swimming stroke is named after an insect?

2. I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?

4. Which English queen has the same name as a type of plum?

5. How many dots are used in each letter in the Braille system?

6. Which movie won the Oscar for best actor, director and cinematography in 2016?

7. What is a female deer called?

8. What unit is used to measure horses?

9. Who is Reg Dwight better known as?

10. Who provided Nick Wilde’s voice in the 2016 movie of “Zootopia”?

11. How many tenpin bowling skittles need knocking down for a strike?

3. If two's company, and three's a crowd, what are four and five?

4. I'm tall when I'm young and I'm short when I'm old. What am I? 5. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?

6. If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I? 7. What gets broken without being held?

Answers on page 99

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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Puzzle P ages

Across

Crossword

1 Dome-shaped glass cover, used in laboratories (4,3) 5 Means of control; checks (5) 8 Puzzle combining pictures and letters for words (5) 9 Thug (7) 10 Directions for this puzzle? (6,3,4) 11 Country conquered by Normans, 1277-84 (5) 12 Bikini, for one? (5) 15 Physical feature of 11 Ac [1] (6,7) 18 Written demand for payment (7) 19 Baggy (5) 20 ----- Julius Caesar (5) 21 Large ductless neck gland (7)

Down

1 Loose garment with veiled holes for the eyes (5) 2 Braille (anag) (7) 3 Tales by Rudyard Kipling (4,2,7) 4 Bring back to the boil, for instance (6) 5 Physical feature of 11 Ac [2] (7,6) 6 Ice house (5) 7 Majorly influential (7) 11 Membrane between toes of aquatic animals and birds (7) 13 Heavy dark medium-sweet sherry (7) 14 Take exception (6) 16 Concluding part of a poem, book or ballade (5) 17 Disburse; fork out (5)

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s e p o c s o Hor

by Juanita Banana of Banana Moon Yoga Therapy, Studio, Travel & Retreats ARIES: March 21-April 20 If you’re not climbing Mount Everest or boating on the Ganges, you’re likely making some serious headway in your career. Check your bank balance as you’ll need funds for all of this forward movement. On the 11th and 12th watch out for even more high-powered fun, and maybe a little romance to boot TAURUS: April 21-May 21 Consider the small things, life’s joy is in the details and differences. Bring fresh, curious eyes to your everyday routine. Examine everything.

Chew many times, really noticing the flavours.

Practice being interested and nothing will be boring GEMINI: May 22-June 21 You may be too focused on a partner, whether its a romantic or business association, or a close friend. Ease off for a little while or you’ll lose some of yourself. It’s a great time to explore a new interest and expand horizons CANCER: June 22-July 22 Be careful if starting anything new - doublecheck facts and figures and ask questions before moving on from the planning stage. Make sure your motivations and heart are in the right place. On the 7th, do something special for yourself -you absolutely deserve it LEO: July 23-August 23 Take advantage of great energy to achieve something special on a shared project. Take care of yourself but try not to be self-centered and bring a little more balance into your interactions with the outside world VIRGO: August 24-September 22 September is shaping up to be a terrific month for you. Make sure you start each day with a positive vibe but don’t get so carried away that you rack up a huge credit card bill to celebrate.

Allow your intellectual curiosity to lead you to learn something new

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 Focus on putting yourself first - eat what you want, do what you want, say what you want and get what’s yours. Paradoxically, it’s putting yourself first that will allow you to do good for other people. After all, being a martyr is an energy-sapping endeavour SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 Subconscious misgivings may put you in an indecisive frame of mind so, if you feel restless and you don’t know why, take a long, hard look at any big issues you are dealing with. Think through the pros and cons SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - December 21 The month begins with reminders of how loved you are – remember to let the important people know you love them too. On the 5th follow your intuition! Towards the end of September, if you’re feeling tired, give yourself permission to take a rest CAPRICORN: December 22 - January 20 Your work is good, your ideas fabulous and you contribute much to your team – so ask for a raise or some compensation. If you have a desire for power and prestige, start making a list of projects that will help get you there AQUARIUS: January 21 - February 19 At the beginning of the month, make an extra effort to really connect - ask how people are and what’s new in their lives. Tell them what’s new in yours. If you feel an urge to be socially useful, get involved with the community or organise something for friends PISCES: February 20 - March 20 Amaze your biggest critics by making a tough decision and sticking to it - you can whatever you want to, once you set your mind on the task at hand. There’s nothing wrong with taking a long bow when the audience is applauding your efforts

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The Sent inella Paginas

We can Call toda list your Busines s y on 664 210 468 here from just 5 e or Email : sales@th uros a month!! esentine lla.com

ADvERTISING AGENCY lDigitalleria Website Design and more offers best international service. Faster premium hosting, better and safer Software than open-source CMS. Call 00491788082716 on Whatsapp or 951230255 or Email info@digitalleria.com www.digitalleria.com

AIR CONDITIONING lFor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar lPolar Air For Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician. Call Peter 655 211 192 or visit www.polarair.eu lCHS Cooling and Heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar, Heating and swimming pool heat pumps.

Call: 655 791 167 Email: chsspain@gmail.com lConnect Air Conditioning. Supplying the latest in heat pump technology at the best prices. Contact Sean: 639 738 624 www.connectairconditioning.com Email: connect.aircon@hotmail.com lCool Solutions all leading brands of air conditioning supplied and fitted, servicing only â‚Ź30 per unit. Heat pumps for pools and heating.

Occupancy sensors supplied and fitted.

Tel: 693 047 935 or 625 822 410.

Email: coolsolutions.es@gmail.com.

AWNINGS lAwnings - Blinds - Mosquito Screens, Glass Curtain Repairs, Replacement of plastic jointing strips, New Installations, Roller Shutters / Repairs.

New installations, Conversion from manual to motorised. Call Julian: 655 825 931

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE lThe Hair & Beauty Studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 654 897 410

BOOKSHOPS lPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703.

Email: libreriapasatiempo@hotmail.com

BLINDS lSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. ian@solarshadetinting.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76

BUILDERS lLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application & construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 info@ltconstruction.es www.ltconstruction.es

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The Sentinella Paginas BUILDERS (Continued) lJohn Housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414.

Email: housbyjohn@gmail.com

CARPENTERS lAll Types of Carpentry Jobs Undertaken by time served carpenter. Kitchens, wardrobes, locks.

Phone with your requirements. Andrew 660 597 894 lQuality Bespoke Wooden Furniture. Your design brought to life. any size, colour or design for homes, gardens and businesses. www.weswoodwork.com / Telephone: 679 171 008

CAR ACCESSORIES lWindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal and certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect children and pets.

Be cool. Enjoy the sun, don’t suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176 / 644 546 176

CAR RENTAL lNo hidden cost, delivery along the coast, personal meet & greet service at the airport with no queues or bus journeys. www.quickcarhiremalaga.com quickcarhiremalaga@gmail.com 669 899 065 / Whatsapp available

CARERS Professional live in and day time carers for long and short term. Specialising in mobility and dementia care. For more details call or WhatsApp Sheila Taylor on 0034 610 613 149 sheilat5@hotmail.co.uk

CARE HOMES lCasa Klein. A better place to live. Scandinavian convelescent and retirement home. Situated on a hilltop overlooking mountains and the sea in Velez Malaga. Tel: 952 50 21 30 Mob: 679 167 168 www.casaklein.com

CHIMNEY SWEEP lFireplaces - Inserts - Freestanding log burners and pellet burners. For your annual service Call or Whatsapp: Vaclav 600 663 648 Email: vmatousek6@gmail.com

CHIROPODISTS lRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. Over 25yrs exp NHS & private.

Call: 636 866 715 Foot care in the comfort of your home.

Services including nail cutting, corn, callus and ingrowing toe nail removal. Specialising in diabetic foot care. Full PPE worn. Clare Sasada 659825512.

CLEANING lUltra Clean, Clean & Changeovers, key holding, house-keeping, laundry, window cleaning, gardening etc.. Call Pammy: 674 597 984 Torre del Mar area lSqueaky Clean all types of household cleaning undertaken, key holding, changeovers and laundry.

House and pet sitting. 20 years experience in Spain.

Call Paula 622 939 742

COMPUTER SERvICES lSteve’s Computer and Laptop Service.

Providing a thorough health check/repair for corrupted software and removal of virus/malware infections. Sales of used/refurbished laptops at competitive prices. Call Steve in Torrox: 634347055 Email: sfmay@hotmail.com

COMPUTERS lDavid Fenton: Computer Help Specialist. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. House calls, remote assistance or bring it to me. Help and impartial advice with all types of technology. Tel 952 549 607, Mob 654 899 976

COUNSELLING lKestrel Counselling. Professional, confidential, qualified counselling service. Skype or online. Experienced with all age groups including children. Tel: 636 588 697 www.kestrelcounselling.com Email: kestrelcounselling@gmail.com

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CURRENCY TRANSFERS lCurrencies Direct. For all your currency transfer requirements; excellent exchange rates, 100% no transfer fees or hidden charges – Contact the Nerja office on 952 906 581 or email nerja@currenciesdirect.com

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The Sentinella Paginas DAMP PROOFING lElectro-OS S.L. Immediately effective. 20 Year guarantee. Tel: 958 656 560 / 619 666 363 www.electro-os.com info@Electro-os.com

DECORATION INTERIOR/EXTERIOR lTejidos Belen For all your soft furnishings.

Specialists in cushions, pillows, accessories, interior & exterior decoration. We repair your sofas & terrace furniture. Tel: 952531732 / 650964624 Avd. Andalucia No.34 (next to Supermarket La Plaza)Torrox Costa

DENTISTRY lClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: info@clinicaeuropa.eu British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 lDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at competitive prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German and Spanish Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com

DRAIN CLEARANCE lDrains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out.

Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 lDrain & Leak Solutions Your underground plumbers! High pressure water jetting, Drain tracing CCTV, Septic tank problems & installations, baths, sinks & toilets unblocked, leak detection & repairs.

Fully qualified and fully legal. No call out fee!!

Tel: 951 310 111 / 651 111 005 www.drain&leak.com

ELECTRICIANS lSparkinspain - Electrical installations & maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga & inland to Competa and Frigiliana.Tel Colin 951 242 449/Mob 666707297 sparkinspain@rocketmail.com Web: www.english-electrician-nerja.com

ELECTRIC SUPPLIERS lDo you pay too much for your electric? Contact Daniel from AxarEnergy today on: 662 114 241.

More than 1000 clients have already changed over and there is no cost to you for switching!

Email: daniel@axarenergy@gmail.com

ESTATE AGENTS lBuy A Home Spain Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com

lAxarquia Properties S.L Est. 2001. Office: 952 436 781 Cta. almeria 194, Benajarafe Email: info@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.com lFleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja.

952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, www.fleming-properties.com lAndalucia Real Estate (Belgian management)- sales and renovations since 2005 – Axarquia area – Dutch/Belgian/English market. Av. De Los Cipreses 16, Frigiliana. 0034-952 53 44 81 or 0034-666 82 17 96 info@andaluciarealestate.eu www.andaluciarealestate.eu lCountry Properties 29754 Competa - Málaga Plaza Almijara, 21 & Avd. Constitución, 33 Tel.: +34 952 51 61 78 29770 Torrox - Málaga Calle Elisa Ortigosa, 7 Tel.: +34 952 53 91 25 29740 Torre del Mar Málaga Avda. Andalucia, 32B Tel.: +34 952 54 18 86 / 654 693 680 www.countryproperties.net sales@countryproperties.net lAndalucia4you.net Advice on the entire buying-selling process including property management and reforms. Avda. Andalucia 125, Caleta de Velez. Call: 952 72 08 32 or whatsapp 634 35 70 26 Email: contact@andalucia4you.net www.andalucia4you.net lImmotions Real Estate, selling to Belgian, Dutch, English & Scandinavian clients. We offer; one go-to person, renovation guidance, after-sales service and much more! Call +34/654 899 531 or +34/656 823 048 Website: immotionsrealestate.com E-mail: info@immotionsrealestate.com

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS lSpanish Management Vinuela (next to the Farmacia) Sales, Rentals, Management, Holidays. Professional advice with 14 years experience in Spain.

Tel 666 135 516 / 618 940 829 Email: spanishmanagement1@gmail.com Web: www.spanishmanagement.com lZalia properties, long established rental agents, Lake Viñuela area. Car hire, Pool, Villa cleans etc. El Cruce de Periana 4, Edf. Alzabel, Semisotano 2, Alcaucin www.zaliaproperties.net 952 519 718 / 663 093 782, 696 206 158

FUNERAL DIRECTORS lLa Esperanza Funeral Parlour.

Funeral Directors with their own funeral parlours and crematorium with more than 50 years experience in the Malaga province. Telephone 952 50 15 81, 24 hours a day 365 days a year (in case of death/emergencies)

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The Sentinella Paginas FURNITURE lCudeca Hospice Charity Shop – Torre del Mar C/ Infante 21 – Edf. Jamaica Bajo Tel: 663 083 273 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 / Mon- Fri 17:00 – 20.00.

Nerja C/ Almirante Carranza 15 Tel: 663 083 503 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 www.cudeca.org

GARDENING lRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems.

Tel: 634 431 099

GARDEN FURNITURE lDe Tropen - Specialist in garden furniture, 13.000m2, all models in stock. www.detropen.es Location: Autovía del Mediterraneo A-7 (Exit 272), 29700 Velez Malaga, Entrance behind Repsol gasoline station.

Tel. 642 651 074

GARDENING & POOLS lGarden & Pool Service, German gardener, landscaping, property maintenance, pool maintenance, boat servicing. Speaks German, English & Spanish. Good rates. All areas.

Tel: 691 526 394

HANDYMAN SERvICES lAxarquia Handyman Services, Flat-pack assembly & installation specialist, shelving, blinds, painting and decorating, pool maintenance, general DIY. Or just an extra pair of hands.

Phone or Whatsapp Bill: 617 61 29 16 or Email: bsacbill@gmail.com (Based near Lake Vinuela)

HEALTH & BEAUTY lWeight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 665 118 607 beasav24@gmail.com (business opportunity also available)

HEALTH SHOPS lRincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, superfoods, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, essential oils, incense & feng shui crystals. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, naturopath consultance etc. C/ Carretera 1, in front of Supersol, Nerja.

Tel. 952 523 503 ONLINE-SHOP for Europe www.rinconnatural.com

lHigh Grade Medical Cannabis Oils for sale - helps people with Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Pain, Diabetes, Epilepsy, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma. Prices from €30/60ml 6%CBD. Magy's Garden Grow Av.Andalucia 106, Caleta de Velez Tel: 952 511 857 magysgardengrow@hotmail.com

HEATING lRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside.

Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742, sscharler@gmx.de, www.redwell.com

INSURANCE lGPS Insurance Services - For all your Insurance needs (Personal & Business) Check out our easy to navigate website to request quotes www.gpsinsuranceservices.com email: admin@gpsinsuranceservices.com Tel/Whatsapp: 722 708 615 lLinea Directa, Car insurance starts from 194€.

Best prices and best cover. Car, motorcycle, home and vehicle fleet insurance. Call: 952 147 834 www.lineadirecta.com lLiberty Seguros The Expats No. 1 choice for insurances. Avda. Andalucia, 61 Blq 1, Local E, Torre del Mar. Call: 913 017 883 / 617 967 668 Email: patricia.camps@exclusivos.libertyseguros.es FB: liberty.seguros.expats

KENNELS AND CATTERIES lResidencia Cantalobos the Pet Hotel in La Herradura, offers the highest standards of care for your pets. Call Now - Tel: +34 603 739 886. www.valleverdeanimalrescue.org email: valleverdeanimalrescue@hotmail.com Facebook: Cantalobos Pet Hotel lHome From Home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels, just lots of exercise, fun & cuddles. Also pet paw casting & bespoke animal sculptures in cement & needle felting.

Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com lSheila’s Cattery - Small cattery ‘just for cats’ in the Riogordo/Benamagosa countryside. We treat and care for your cats as our own.

Tel: +34 643 635 617 www.sheilascattery.com Facebook: sheilascattery

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The Sentinella Paginas KITCHENS lIdecocina, Perfecting quailty, price and service since 1980. Design and fitting all types of kitchens and all styles, including accessories and electrical appliances. 952 541 895 C/Los Prados, 4 Torre del Mar. www.idecocina.com

LANGUAGES lTrilingo Idiomas is a British run language academy based in Velez-Malaga offering English and Spanish to Expats, from beginners to advanced – call Mark or Donna on: 951 768 175 / 679 792 329

LAWYERS lCS Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, 952 697 004 Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (in front of Mercadona). Torre del Mar, 951 832 130 Calle Rioja, 69, Edificio Salares, local A. (Near the Bus Station). Free initial consultation, Email: info@cslawyers.es / www.cslawyers.es lAxarquia Solicitors 15 years helping expats and non-residents –Offices in Nerja & Velez-Málaga.

Call: 952 901 225 for a free no obligation appointment. mail@axarquiasolicitors.com l De Cotta Law Spanish Abogados & English Lawyers. Consultations and advice on all legal matters. Conveyancing specialists. www.decottalaw.com. Call us on 952 527 014 or email info@decottalaw.net

MOTORBIKE RENTALS lRoyal Motorbike Tours Fun and adventure on a Royal Enfield 500 Classic motorcycle. Half and full day tours along the gorgeous back roads of Andalucia. Book now WhatsApp (+34) 652 200 702 *Motorcycle licence is mandatory. www.royalmotorbiketours.com

METALWORK lMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity.

Andy: 676 719 066 Email: sainbena@hotmail.com

MOBILITY PRODUCTS lBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015/635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS lRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician.

Contact 633 287 190.

OPTICIANS lHeiko by Heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923 lOpticas Perea – Optical & Audio Centre.

C/Santa Margarita, 15, Torre del Mar. Tel: 951 241 410 Email: info@opticasperea.es or visit our website www.opticasperea.es We speak English, German, French and Spanish.

PAINTING & DECORATING lProfessional Painting & Decorating. All aspects; internal, external, paint effects, murals, paper hanging, furniture, kitchen doors etc... Tradesman with 35 years experience.

MPServices WhatsApp 669 330 076

PARAGLIDING lParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfil your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years exp. without risk, over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of a beach bar. www.parapentegranada.info

PLUMBERS lAndy Mann UK Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: andymann_genesis@yahoo.co.uk

lSur Integral for all your plumbing or electrial needs. Also solar panels & air conditioning.

Call: 627 262 624 / 679 313 215 surintegral.jl@gmail.com

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES lInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email: sales@printerink.es

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE lAll Mainenance For Your Property Garden maintenance, Clearance and Construction.

Interior and Exterior Painting, Pool Cleaning Service etc... Covering all areas. Call: 634 340 706

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The Sentinella Paginas PROPERTY RENTALS lBuy A Home Spain C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com

REMOvALS lTransportation to UK to Spain to UK. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips.

Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594 Email: vgcasacolor@gmail.com lTony Roam Removals 15 years To & Fro Spain to UK. ES: 636 393 542 / UK: 07973 362 003 Email: tonyroam@btconnect.com www.euroam.co.uk lAlcala Transport, Fully Legal, Spanish registered Transport/Removals Company. Operating locally for over 10 years. We run two vans twice per month to and from the UK/Europe. Call Colin for a no obligation quote on 0034 608 085 700 or 0044 7936886822 lVamosvan.com for all your removal, transportation or man and van requirements. Fully insured and legal, Call: 683 592 449 (Spain) 07378 89 89 90 (UK) Email: dayn@vamosvan.com / www.vamosvan.com

RENT A CAR lRent a Car Estrella Rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location.

Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, VAT and additional driver included. 952 511 209 www.estrellarent.com / estrellarentweb@gmail.com

RESTAURANTS lTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 lTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 lIndian Palace Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: indianpalacealcaucin@gmail.com www.indianpalacealcaucin.blogspot.com

lBuon Gusto Ristorante - Pizzeria, Paseo Maritimo, Torre del Mar Tel: 951 70 28 33 Comercial Centro Rincon De La Victoria Tel: 952 97 86 04

SATELLITE T.v. lTotal Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com

SAILING lForce 4 Sailing, as featured on "A New Life in the Sun" offer 3, 4 and 5 hour all inclusive private sailing charters from Marina del Este. Contact Iain or Amanda on +34 605 302 358 or +44 7847 887 931 Email: info@force4sailing.com www.force4sailing.com

SAILING SCHOOLS lForce 4 Sailing, are the only RYA Training Centre on the Costa Tropical who can offer sailing courses from the coveted Yachtmaster® Training Syllabus.

Tel: +34 605 302 358 or +44 7847 887 931.

Email: info@force4sailing.com www.force4sailing.com

SOLICITORS lDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47 www.delpradoandpartners-es.com lBest Law Office in Law Axarquia Area. Professional legal and tax services at affordable rates. Free quotations and consultations.

Offices in Nerja and Velez-Malaga.

Tel: 952 901 225 Email:mail@axarquiasolicitors.com

BOOK A LISTING ADvERT ON THESE PAGES

ONLY 60 euros per year!!! *Choose Own heading *Max. 30 words *Up to 3 Language Flags To RESERvE YOUR SPACE CALL: 664 210 468

Need Help Attracting New Business?

Your advert will be seen by thousands of readers throughout the Axarquia area; Benajarafe - Torre del Mar - Caleta de Velez - Velez Malaga Algarrobo Costa - El Morche - Torrox Costa - Torrox Pueblo Torrox Park - Nerja - Burriana - Maro - Frigiliana Puente don Manuel - Vinuela - Colmenar - Competa - Maro Sayalonga - Canillas de Albaida - Sedella - Archez Canillas de Aceituno - Periana - Benamargosa - Trapiche Small price to pay for ADVERTISINg THAT WORKS!

Adverts from as little as 5 euros per month + iva Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com STORAGE/PARKING lParking El Llano Caravans/Boats storage & General storage 24hr security, from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468 lPersonal Storage, fully insured with CCTV security. Secure storage / easy recovery / discount for bulk quantities. Prices from 14€ per m3, 5€ per suitcase (per month). Call: 682 525 106. Poligono Castillo Alto 66, Nerja. 150 metres behind Lidl on right.

SWIMMING POOLS lPool & Garden Service, German gardener, landscaping, property maintenance, pool maintenance, boat servicing. Speaks German, English & Spanish. Good rates. All areas.

Tel: 691 526 394

TAXIS l24 Hour Taxi - English speaking. Call Javi on 653 917 004

vETS lPet Vet Clinic La Herradura, Vaccinations, X-Ray, Dentistry, Operations, Pet Shop & More... C/Alhambra Nº3, La Herradura. Tel: 609 977 564 We speak: English, German, Swedish, Finnish & Spanish

vILLA CARE lAll Your Need Met & Looked After By Us. We offer cleans, pool cleaning, maintenance, gardening & key holding from Inland Axarquia to Nerja, any area considered. Est. 2003. Refs avail.

Jane 666720732 / Andrew 660597894

WEBSITE DESIGN lWebsite design, graphic design and logos.

SEO, hosting, branding, & facebook marketing. For businesses and individuals on the Costa del Sol and Andalucia - Call Tom Lumsden Call: 625 842 780 Email: tom@tomlumsden.es

WINDOW TINTING lMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts, stop fading, heat, glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. Call: 644 546 176 ian@solarshadetinting.com

WILL WRITING lwww.britishwills.com / 951 247 255 admin@britishwills.com British Wills & UK. Lasting Powers of attorney for all UK Nationals who live abroad or who own property in Spain affiliated with: ‘The Society of Will Writers’ UK.

A4U2009 CALETA DE VÉLEZ SEMI-DETACHED PROPERTY 3 BEDS 3 TERRACES WITH SEA VIEWS PRICE: 225,000€

Free Virtual Tour Video with Every Listing!!

DETACHED VILLA WITH BUSINESS POTENTIAL 10 BEDS SEA VIEWS WALKING DISTANCE TO THE BEACH PRICE: 585,000€ A4U2012 CALETA DE VÉLEZ WHY CHOOSE ANDALUCIA 4 YOU? Because we are a network.

Not only do we make sure your property is visible and looking its best in and outside of Europe, we also have access to a large customer database. With the help of our successful ‘4-steps of navigation’, we match houses to potential interested buyers.

In addition, as a multilingual team, we help you with personal expert advice and find you a good buyer.

www.andalucia4you.net Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avenida Andalucía 125, Caleta de Vélez

WELCOME TO ANDALUCIA 4 YOU! In all the uncertainty during this year WE OFFER YOU a professional advice, reliable service or just a helping hand:

✔Your door to the Dutch and Belgian buyers ✔Free pre-valuation and listing ✔Local experts and personal guidance ✔All-round service under one umbrella ✔10 years of experience in the Real Estate ✔Open 7 days a week (appointments only)

THINKING OF SELLING YOUR PROPERTY? No sale – no fee concept Dutch and Belgian markets have shown it´s growth and stability in the last 5 years.

Contact us! We´ll do the rest.

Looking forward to helping you further.

PEÑONCILLO FP1087 TORROX COSTA A marvellous 3-bedroom villa with separate studio apartment, large garage/workshop, pool, outside bar/lounge and views to the Mediterranean

445,000€

WE URgENTLY REQUIRE PROPERTIES FOR LONg, MEDIUM AND SHORT TERM RENTAL FOR CLIENTS FROM NERJA TO MáLAgA ON THE COAST AND INLAND. ALL ASPECTS OF THE RENTAL TAKEN CARE OF.

CANILLAS DE ACEITUNO FP1080

LOJA

FP1071

A small one-bedroom village house in this popular village in need of slight reform to maximize its potential

This spacious 190m2, 3-bedroom, reformed country house set in 4,000m2 of level land in the heart of the countryside, some 14km from the town of Loja

ONLY 28,000€

195,000€

Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362