k l a t OF THE TOWNS by bill beggs jr.
The Metro
We’re halfway there! (Yes, despite the anti-science brouhaha and lamentable anti-vaccine frenzy, we hold with Dr. Anthony Fauci and believe there’s plenty of ‘there’ there.) So, on March 2 my wife and I got our first of two shots to protect us from COVID-19. We’re both scheduled for our second and final dose of the Moderna vaccine in 28 days— March 30. The contorted selfie is of yours truly, who, while trying to hold the camera ‘just so’ as not to grimace, as well as shed some light on the Band-Aid, didn’t realize one of our three scientist portraits snuck into the frame. Happy accident. That fellow is none other than Louis Pasteur: Pasteur, who died in 1895, developed the first vaccines for rabies and anthrax— both nasty, if not the wildly contagious
coronaviruses of their day. Pasteur’s research made many 20th-century medical advances possible, from Alexander Fleming’s penicillin breakthrough to the polio vaccines developed by Mssrs. Salk and Sabin. We of a certain age remember taking the first polio vaccine on a sugar cube. (My younger brother Jim was very unfortunate; in between vaccine rollouts, polio paralyzed his right leg from the hip down and he’s worn a leg brace since age 4.) While my bride and I are still on a half-dozen waiting lists, I got a call from a woman who ‘knows a guy’—she’s the Vaccine Whisperer—and we got in at the Maryland Heights Community Center. As luck would have it, right when we got home that day, President Joseph R. Biden made the stunning announcement that everyone should be vaccinated by May 30. Cate and I, who’ve quarantined for a year, already had a spring in our half step, which should be a full step by spring! We’ve heard we may not feel so hot for a spell after shot No. 2, but we’ll survive. Tragically, at this writing, more than a half million have not … and who knows what the long-term syndrome for 20% of survivors will involve? Pounding headaches? Kidney and liver damage? Worse?
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MARCH 10, 2021
St. Louis
Is it too soon to speak ill of the dead? When it comes to Rush Limbaugh, who passed away from lung cancer on Feb. 17, it might be for some. It certainly is for KMOX Radio, which has had to scramble to find another unsuitable replacement. But for many of us, Limbaugh satire can’t come soon enough. He ‘joked’ about women and the Black community and once ran an ‘AIDS Update’ segment that mocked the deaths of gay men. How droll. I like to imagine he’s somewhere spending eternity wrapping a Surgeon General’s warning on an endless supply of cigars. How’s that for karmic retribution?
U. City
When did squeaky-clean electronics gear become an environmental hazard? As far as I know, much of the manufacturing process occurs in a so-called ‘clean room.’ Nobody’s in danger of contracting tuberculosis, salmonella or (insert name of deadly disease here). I remember as a teen stealing into the woods with my dad with our dearly departed TV set’s cathode-ray tube and a sledgehammer in tow. After a few throws, he managed to hit it. It imploded and made the coolest sound! Of course, we left the mess right there. We’re both male and could be forgiven for that accident of birth. You see, our not-completely evolved gender just enjoys blowing stuff up, from lighting firecrackers and destroying model airplanes as kids to using tons of dynamite to bring down big buildings like the Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, as adults. I mean, it’s just cool. Maybe it’s something in our unique DNA sequence? OK, full stop. Electronic waste, ‘E-waste,’ refers to any unwanted electronic device and usually contains hazardous materials, predominantly lead and mercury. Most citizens, even some men, know by now that a worn-out, busted or obsolete electronic device cannot simply be thrown in the garbage or left at the curb for pickup on big-trash day. That’s why most any area municipality has an electronics recycling event every so often, and one’s coming right up in U. City. We’d recommend you mark your calendar, but it’s this weekend, so just set your iPhone alarm for Saturday morning (March 13) to make sure you’re up in time for the event, 9 a.m. to noon at the U. City Community Center, 975 Pennsylvania Ave. (And if you’ve got the latest iPhone, what did you plan to do with the old one, huh?) Thanks to a grant, the first 100 TV sets and computer monitors will be accepted free of charge. After that, applicable fees will apply. Last time, we paid $5 to recycle a small flat-screen TV. For more info, visit ucitymo.org and click on City News.
TTia tri☛v
WHERE DID RUSH LIMBAUGH GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE?
LAST ISSUE’S Q&A 1. How many seasons did Pujols wear No. 5 for the Cardinals? 2. When was he named National League MVP? 3. What’s his full name? 4. What does his family have in common with the family of Lisa and Greg Nichols? Congratulations to any reader who eschewed pumping up with digital steroids— resorting to Google—to come up with answers to the four questions in our last issue about everybody’s favorite California Angel, Albert Pujols! (Although the rest of you were ejected from the game, we think you’ll get over it.) 1. Pujols wore No. 5 for the Cardinals from 2001 to 2011. 2. He was named National League MVP three times: in 2005, 2008 and 2009. 3. Pujols’ full name is José Alberto Pujols Alcántara 4. Albert and Deidre Pujols have five children. Isabella, Deidre’s daughter from a previous relationship, has Down syndrome. So does Ally Nichols, daughter of Lisa and Greg Nichols.
