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Why Shoot for the Moon?
by Kyle Jacobson We all want to change the world. No, I’m not saying we want a revolution, just to make an impact. To see how far pieces of what’s good about who we are can resonate across our family, friends, community, and beyond. You can’t drill your ideas into other people without doing something a malenky bit questionable, but with empathetic listening, honesty, and vulnerability, you might be making an impact you don’t even notice until years later. Ruby Clay has made it her mission to give others the tools they need to reclaim their lives from societal pressures and dangerously unhealthy domestic situations. “I’ve always wanted to be a helper,” says Ruby, who earned her bachelor’s in early childhood education with a minor in special education. “I’ve always wanted to teach people and make people’s lives better. I worked at [Madison] East High School for five years, and I think I did it for so long that I felt like I wanted to do more.” Doing more to Ruby meant working with those who need help right now, and she gravitated toward what she knew: domestic abuse. “I kinda grew up around it, and then I experienced it personally. It’s funny how the things that you go through in life dictate your passion and the areas in which you want to help. When I have conversations with people,
they understand that I get it because I can go there with them mentally. “My focus is on self-esteem and self-worth and self-love because those are stripped from you when you’re in those kinds of domestic violence situations.” Some of the people she’s worked with grew up in a house where abuse was normal, so Ruby is working to get people to change their idea of normal and excusable behaviors. They need help finding a new identity that’s not shrouded in dangerous realities. To learn to say, as Ruby puts it, “Oh no, no, no, you cannot take my happiness. Oh no, no, no, you cannot take my joy from me; you didn’t give it to me to begin with, and I love myself enough to walk away from this.” Ruby calls herself a counselor, which seems to mean she’s both a cheerleader and a fighter. As a Black woman, she feels the most important thing an individual can do is take ownership of who they are and what they do. For that to happen, she empowers those she works with to start taking the actions that will define their future selves. She even leveled up, as she says, from working with Domestic Abuse Intervention Services (DAIS) for six years, which she loved and got a lot out of, to working for the DA’s office with victims of domestic abuse. With a new set of resources, Ruby is in a position where she can even better advocate for victims. Not blind to the other side of the coin, Ruby has also worked with domestic abusers. After holding a summit for domesticabuse survivors, she soon held another summit, called The Power in Your Hands, for abusers. Aside from learning to take accountability for their actions, abusers need to face their past realities and present anxieties that oftentimes contribute to their violent outbursts. It’s Ruby’s effort to stop abuse before it even happens, break the cycle, and propagate ideas of healthier relationships.
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