Transformation Coaching Magazine January 2023

COACHING AND BUSINESS TOOLS Rising Star Coach: Helen O'Bannon 4 THE Most Important Question

CONTRIBUTORS

We believe that self-employment is the ultimate form of empowerment. Our mission is to bring you guests whose powerful entrepreneurship stories and real-world advice will give you the inspiration and tools to create a business and life that you love.

Listen on our website or your favorite podcast app or watch the video version on our YouTube channel.

Our goal with this initiative is to recognize and celebrate group membership who demonstrate the heart and service of a coach. Each monthly recipient of this recognition will be selected for a unique reason. Some will be seasoned coaches who serve as valuable mentors within the group. Others may be just starting their coach-training journey and exude a contagious attitude or passion. Others may be actively supporting other group members, whether by providing resources, answering common questions, or providing moral support. Regardless of each of our wonderful group members’ background or experience, we all benefit from the mutual support and varied perspectives offered within this diverse group!

The Rising Star initiative is a way to give a special THANK YOU to those who go above and beyond to share of themselves within this community.

ABOUTHELEN:

Helen O'Bannon, Oregon, USA Helen's Light Wellness Coaching

“Transforming lives. Creating change.”

As a Wellness Coach, I get to work with people experiencing change, loss, and grief through their changing circumstances. I use a variety of techniques from creative art

and play, action techniques, emotional intelligence training, meditation, and mindfulness. I also work with clients who are also experiencing intense therapy and need practical ways of dealing with life during this process. As a person who has had this experience, I have learned techniques that we can use to make life easier and more manageable. I have a background in Psych, Sociology, Metaphysics, and Child Development. I am a non-denominational Minister of Divinity. While I do not do therapy, I hold space for people to deal with their emotions. I have the privilege of working with clients that have dealt with loss and change. I can help them deal with the reality of loss and grief, feel the emotions, and grow through their loss. When we are finished working together, clients will be able to fully experience their emotions without being overwhelmed. They will know more about their creativity and resourcefulness. They will be more resilient. Connect with Helen at http://www.HelensLight.com

WHAT IS YOUR NICHE (COACHING FOCUS) AND HOW DID YOU CHOOSE IT?

Because I am in the process of forming a wellness coaching business, I don’t currently have any clients. For this interview, I will speak as if success has already happened. My niche is individuals, couples, and groups managing the various emotions that come about through change and/or loss. I also work with individuals experiencing intense therapy who need help managing their lives while participating in the process of therapy. Therapy can bring about a mixture of emotions that can be confusing and challenging. I know

Here at Transformation Academy we are excited to announce our January’s Transformation Academy Rising Star – Helen O'Bannon!

this because I am a long-time participant in the process of therapy. As we work on ourselves, we often deal with past traumas and difficulties, we can feel as though it’s impossible to work, study, or even function daily. That’s where I come in. I help by coaching people in the ways of getting internal to external. I teach clients little tricks and tools we can use with ourselves to do what we need to do when we feel like we can’t. Using action techniques, mindfulness and meditation techniques, and creativity clients can be helped to make stress and uncomfortable emotions manageable. They become accountable to someone and can then become accountable to themselves. How did I choose my niche? I don't know the answer to this question. I almost feel like my niche chose me. My background is in working with individuals, couples, and groups who have experienced the trauma of sexual assault, child abuse, or domestic violence. I love facilitating groups. I have also done accompaniments in California. As an advocate, I would meet the survivor or victim at the forensics lab while they were having a rape exam. As a result, I discovered that I am very good at thinking on my feet and improvising. I started implementing fun and interesting techniques to counsel. I find that this style of counseling can be used in coaching. The experiential techniques allow for practicing new thinking, attitudes, and behavior so that the concepts can be implemented into the client’s life.

WHO IS YOUR IDEAL CLIENT?

Again, speaking as though the future is now present, I have clients that are dealing with many forms of change like separation from a loved one, divorce, death, change of employment, and even a change in their health. As a survivor of a cancer diagnosis 12 years ago and as a survivor of trauma, I know that the road to recovery and peace can be rocky and challenging. It can also be very gratifying. My journey would have been much easier if I would have had a coach in my corner. Having a therapist in our corner is very different than having a coach. They both have their place. My ideal clients will be willing to experiment and do things that may feel awkward or strange. They may need support from a therapist and want the support of a coach. I have clients that are willing to experiment and see what new behaviors and attitudes

will work for them. That is usually how I introduce an experiential technique…as an experiment. They are willing to do what it takes to change as their lives become happier and more fulfilled. My clients feel comfortable with me, and they feel supported. We have a connection that allows them to explore what works for them and then implement the new learning.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME A LIFE COACH?

I don’t know what inspired me. “Inspired” is such a powerful word. I enjoy connecting with people. I enjoy seeing people transform their lives. When I was in my 30s, I drove 3 hours once a month to an all-day psychodrama workshop. I was able to make my internal external. I learned the power of play and the power of groups. I learned that becoming more aware of our imagination and creativity created new and interesting ways of dealing with life. I think that is where I was inspired. The inspiration was deeply held and cultivated. Imagination, play, and creativity inspire me. I was also deeply inspired by all the therapists that supported me in my journey. I have been so fortunate to have found such good people to work with. Those therapists were an inspiration to me. I will be forever grateful to them.

WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

The most challenging part of being a wellness coach is the business and marketing required. That’s what I like about the Transformation Academy. I can learn the skills and techniques of coaching while learning marketing and sales. I have a nice foundation with the knowledge of psychology I have honed through my education and experience. TA allows me to build on what I know. I feel challenged by the marketing and sales aspects of running a wellness coaching business. Although challenging, I feel capable of learning what I need to know to flourish.

WHAT IS THE MOST FULFILLING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

I have not yet worked with clients as a wellness coach. However, in my previous work with survivors of violent crimes, I enjoyed feeling fulfilled as I saw clients making long-term and lasting changes in the way they dealt with their lives after violence touched their lives. Many of them chose to do really good work with me and they transformed their lives. Knowing that I had little to do with their transformations was satisfying. I know full well that they did the work and that it was their accomplishment. It was a joy to see them make changes that worked for them.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COACHING ACTIVITY OR EXERCISE TO DO WITH CLIENTS?

I love doing and facilitating action techniques while coaching. For instance, I would be in my element leading a group where we use experiential techniques to learn ways of better dealing with conflict and challenging emotions. For instance, if I was doing an action group and one of the participants wanted to work on a conflict they had at work. They would be the Main Protagonist. The Protagonist would then decide on what players

would be part of their action drama. Those are the Support Players. The Protagonist would describe the conflict with each of the Players and assign the roles to each Support Player. From there we would work on the thoughts and attitudes of the Protagonist and let them play it out. We might play out how the conflict was in the present. We then might play out how the Protagonist wanted the situation to change. We might show the conflict physically and then dialogue from there. After the play was ended, we would debrief the Support People and Protagonist. The group as a whole would discuss the process and how each of them related to the activity. I think this type of activity is my favorite and one that is very effective for conflict resolution and for becoming more aware of the unconscious, internal dialogue, and scripts. I love this type of activity because it allows each participant to take part as they are comfortable.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF BACK WHEN YOU FIRST DREAMED OF BECOMING A COACH?

I would go back to even before I decided to become involved with wellness coaching. I would tell myself to when I was getting my BA. I would educate myself on business. Back then I had no ambition to work for myself. I was dealing with chronic pain and mental health issues. I would educate myself on managing and marketing a business.

WHAT IS THE IMPACT YOU WANT TO MAKE IN THIS WORLD?

I don’t know about the world…I know about my world. I want to create. I want to impact individuals so that they can change their lives and live more fulfilled and happy existences. If I can positively affect my clients, do art, and play then I will have made an impact on the world, and that works for me. So as far as the world at large goes, I can make small effects …I can make little ripples. There’s no telling how far these positive ripples will go. That is how I affect the world. Each of us can impact our world. That’s what I want to do. I want clients to be able to do the work they need to do with me and then move on to make their lives bigger and better. When I die I want to know that I made someone’s life a little better and that they learned from me how to do it for themselves. I want to be indispensable.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH TRANSFORMATION COACHING MAGAZINE READERS?

I hope as Life Coaches we strive to work on ourselves to make ourselves happy and fulfilled. Anyone in the helping professions such as counseling or coaching needs to be aware of their issues and activations. We need to be aware of our buttons so that if they are pressed we have experience and success how to deal with them without it interfering with the process of our clients.

New Year Wishes

new yearwishes

You are closer than you think to your wildest dreams…

By Claire Care

Sending my blessings for a New Year filled with joy and abundance. A fresh new year can be a perfect time for a brand new start. An opportunity to leave the past behind and focus on all that you would like to achieve in the coming year. A great way to do this is to use my “Reality Wishes Method.”

Begin with a body scan meditation and become aware of all of the parts of your body. Start with your feet and move all the way up to your crown. Breathe deeply into your core and relax any tense muscles. Feel excited and energetic to accept any new challenges or long-held desires for a more enriched life.

Then draw in guidance from the universe and follow these easy steps.

1) Write a list of 10 wishes entitled “Out of this World.” These are the things you would most love but feel that they are out of your reach. At this point, do not worry about feelings of greed as you have free rein to go completely over the top. Don’t think too hard about it but write down what comes into your head straight away.

2) Follow with a list of ten wishes entitled “In this World.” This is a honed-down version of your extreme wishes. Things that you consider would make your life ideal. These are the things that you know you could achieve if you removed your limiting beliefs.

3) Then write a list of 10 things related to your wishes, entitled “In my Hand.” Finally,

compare the extreme wishes with your current reality list. You might start to notice comparisons. Try to find a similarity, a link or common ground between what you already have and what you would like in your wildest dreams. This is the fun bit. For example, you might have eight-bedroom mansion in your first list, with a five-bedroom detached house as your ideal, and notice that you may already own a three-bedroom semi-detached home in your current situation. This can be a powerful way to see how—with the right steps—you can move up the housing ladder towards your dream dwelling. Another example might be winning the lottery in list 1, to having extra money each month for treats in list 2, to currently being able to pay for food and bills. Or list 1 could be to live forever, list 2 to have a healthy lifestyle and list 3, currently eating fresh fruit and vegetables. Again, connections can be drawn between each list to help you see the stages to reaching your goals. It should enable you to find clarity on what is really important in your life and what can be worked towards. It also encourages us to have gratitude for the things that we do have right here, right now in the palm of our hand. It is ok to dream—and it is ok to dream big. We are here in 3D and are human creators. Use these lists to keep you inspired and motivated. And as each new day dawns, plant your seeds and let them grow. It is important to live your life in accordance with your truth. And sometimes, your truth just needs a little encouragement to come to the forefront of your mind’s eye.

Clare Care is a presenter, author and singer. She is also a Creative and Spiritual Life Coach and a member of The Complimentary Medical Association (MCMA). Clare loves to help others live their best life! Her book, 52 Ways To Receive Joy Now! is an essential guide to finding your inner happiness and is available on Amazon. Her podcast, “Nourish Your Think Tank” has interviews with music legends and musings on life’s good vibrations. She hosts an early breakfast show on NLive Radio called “Clare’s Happy Monday” to make people feel good for their week ahead. Her other show, “Weekend Calling”, gets listeners ready for the weekend. Clare fronts a function band as the lead singer and regularly performs at parties and corporate events. For more information go to https://www.clarecarepresenter.com

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

Reflecting on the past year can make us focus on who we want to be in the world.

By Mary Boutieller

As we approach another New Year, I find myself reflecting on the past year’s challenges and victories, mistakes and lessons, heartache and joy. And I feel so fortunate to have experienced it all.

Sometimes we like to think that we will live forever; that there will always be another opportunity to do the things we’ve been waiting to do, but evidence is to the contrary. When I realize that I have lived more days already than I will going forward, it changes things. My focus becomes clearer on who I want to be in the world.

And although these thoughts can be unsettling, they can also be liberating. These truths can free us to be more thoughtful, less selfish; more compassionate, less self-centered; more honest—with ourselves and with others.

As we move forward, perhaps we can pause and remember the exquisite truth imprinted on our souls.

For me, I want to remember that every time I smile, I feel better. And

each time I share that smile with someone else, I hope that they feel better too.

I want to remember that I am a human being on the path. I will have good days, bad days and many in-between. I will take two steps forward and one step back on this life’s journey, and that’s perfectly okay. I want others to remember that they are okay, too, just the way they are. In fact, they are better than okay. They (you) are amazing.

I want to remember that the people I love will someday be gone, so I need to forgive perceived trespasses and let go of grievances NOW, before it’s too late.

I want to remember that there is surface stuff and deep stuff. The surface stuff is there to distract, divide and conquer. It’s the ego on hyperdrive thinking it’s important when it isn’t. The deep stuff, the stuff that counts, is beyond ego or having to be right. It is about love and beauty and joy and understanding. It’s about realizing that everyone has struggled at some time or another, even if it seems otherwise.

I want to remember that my words matter...and do my best to speak kindly. This is not always easy for me. I get frustrated and I say unkind things. And when I do, I feel

it—and it feels less and less satisfying each time. It’s like my heart telling me that enough is enough.

I want to remember that my body is my temple and, if I take care of it, it will help me through life’s bumps and bruises. If I start from a good place, a healthy place, it may just be a little easier to handle the rough roads that may lie ahead.

I want to remember that it takes a village. None of us are alone here, even if it sometimes feels that way. Reach out, pick up the phone, be vulnerable and raw and open. Ask for help; lend a hand.

I want to remember how poetry makes me feel; how an old movie can make me cry; how a true friend’s voice warms me from the inside out.

And I want to remember to trust more, love more, and breathe more.

What are the things you want to remember as you contemplate this new year? Perhaps you have a list of your own which resonates with your soul.

To each and every one of you, thank you for your presence in my life and for helping me along the path.

The Yoga of Life

with Mary Boutieller

Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

More than a decade after the 2012

Mayan

By Jo Mooy

Back in 2012 there were millions of articles written about the Mayan calendar and the end of the world. Doomsday scenarios played out in the media. Across the world people believed something major would happen, and poured their collective energies into what they should do to survive the apocalypse. Many in the metaphysical communities prepared for “ascension”—a spiritual buzzword at the end of the last century that meant certain people would float off the planet into another dimension.

I hedged my bets on 2012. I reread inspirational teachings from spiritual masters seeking insight into

the 2012 energies. I took time off for two major pilgrimages because—if the world was ending—I may as well dent my bucket list. I went to Israel, also called The Holy Land. There, amid centuries-old hatreds between the three major religions on Earth and the unholy politics stifling discourse between them, I met an elderly Rabbi. With great passion, he assured me that peace would prevail on Earth only if there was peace in Jerusalem. I believed him, but eleven years on there’s still flagrant hostility in the Holy Land. He never lived to see the peace he believed in.

After Israel I spent a month in India. This was the place where a treasure trove of spiritual masters came from. Surely I’d gain insight into their teachings

calendar “doomsday” prediction, the world is teetering between two realities playing out simultaneously on the global stage: Order and Chaos.

and find answers while there. Yes, I was uplifted by the people and the spiritual depth of this ancient culture. It was inbred into the fabric of their daily lives, where each person is greeted with a hand on the heart and the word namaste. It flourished in their beliefs. Yet, I was stunned at the country’s gross ambivalence towards horrific poverty, the lack of clean water, and the desperate lack of sanitation. I refused to allow karma and caste to be an acceptable Band-Aid for what I saw. I came home chastened and with a whole different set of questions that couldn’t be answered. The year 2012 ended, and the calendar flipped to 2013. The world was still intact. The poles didn’t flip. Nothing had happened! No doomsday scenario. No ascensions. Nothing! The Monday morning expert quarterbacks filled in the gaps by saying the Mayans didn’t really mean the world was ending. Rather, they meant the “13th baktun or Long Count Cycle was ending.” (Very few of the experts expounded that opinion before D-Day on 12.21.2012.) We gathered up our thoughts and emotions and embarked on a new set of beliefs to follow.

Eleven years on, 2023 begins. Its numerology is significant as the sum of the numbers is 7. Seven is the number representing spiritual and inner wisdom. It’s the number of wholeness and perfection, bridging the world of matter and spirit. It’s symbolized by the Chariot card in Tarot, representing victory over challenges. And finally, 7 is the number of selflessness, the quality that must reign supreme this year if we’re to ease through the turbulence in store.

Eleven years after 2012, the world is teetering between two realities playing out simultaneously on the global stage. The two realities are Order and Chaos. Order, along with its rules and structures, generates feelings of stability and safety. Chaos

creates a reality of unpredictability, disorder and confusion. From wherever you’re sitting, you might identify with one or the other. Many will choose to identify fully with one. The choice is usually directed by the beliefs and “truths” one holds. If you believe the world is falling apart, you’ll 100 percent be attracted to the energies of Chaos. If you align with truths, rules and stability, you’ll also be 100 percent attracted to the energies of Order.

The ones who use the wisdom energies of the number 7 that govern 2023 will find there’s no need to lose yourself in either reality. In fact, maintaining neutrality between the two extremes is preferable. That neutrality demonstrates the courage of your convictions and is victorious over adversity as indicated by the Chariot (#7) in the Tarot. The great message of 7 is selflessness. The governing quality of selflessness guides neutrality where the individual knows it’s not necessary to choose sides. Rather they can ride the turbulent waves bobbing like a cork above the fray. Selflessness also opens the heart center so that emanations of caring and empathy can flow freely in ways that can change any contentious situation and even our very existence.

Eleven years on, what’s been judged to be good and bad, or what’s considered true or false, will disappear with time. What was true in 2012 was gone by 2013. In 2023—when down is up and up is down— only the consciousness each of us holds makes up or down correct. But in the open-hearted emanations of empathy for the opposing positions we set aside the jagged feelings unsettling us and see the true soul light of each being encountered. In that heart space, there’s no Order and there’s no Chaos. They’re two sides of the same coin. The coin is the neutral feelings of sweetness and peace.

Conscious Living

with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com

Following the feminine path to wholeness and healing.

By Kandace Hawley

I assume that you’ve heard of the Hero’s Journey. If you haven’t, a quick trip through Wikipedia will get you up to speed quite nicely. Joseph Campbell in his remarkable book A Hero with a Thousand Faces unearthed a common thread throughout our stories and myths, that of the Hero and their journey through spiritual death, transformation and rebirth. Namely, in our stories, we have a central figure, the hero who leaves home, ventures into the unknown, faces trials and tribulations, gains victory against all odds, and returns home renewed. This is a story arc that we can see in the vast majority of our books, movies, games, myths, and fairy tales. It’s a common thread that reveals psychological truths about the journey of life and spiritual growth.

However, running parallel to the Hero’s Journey is the Heroine’s Journey. I think of both journeys as two sides of a single coin. They look similar and they represent journeys of transformation and growth, but they have their respective distinctions. Namely, the masculine Hero’s Journey* symbolizes how we grow by engaging with the external world. Whereas the Heroine’s Journey symbolizes how we grow by engaging with our internal world to reclaim and heal the lost symbolic feminine*.

In practice, the Heroine’s Journey is about healing ourselves in the deepest and most fundamental layers of our being. This requires less doing

and more being, more feeling and less thinking, and more introspection and less external action. The Heroine’s Journey pulls your focus away from the external world so that you can feel into and explore your inner world. This sort of journey is depicted in stories like Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz, where both Alice and Dorothy are pulled away from their daily reality into an absurd dreamland, so that they may dethrone the evil queen or witch and regain their integrity.

But what does this process really look like? Well, think about it this way. You have a beautifully decorated house with a big basement. However, you don’t ever go down in this basement because it’s dark, scary and unknown. But as time passes, it’s more difficult to ignore this basement. Mold is creeping into the living room, the floors are unlevel, and there are strange noises crying out from the depths. To ignore all this is to risk the whole house and your sanity.

Yet at some point, whether it be by your own will or forced by circumstance, you finally go down to face what’s there. The first steps are the scariest, but as your flashlight illuminates each shelf and corner, you are humbled by what you see. You discover lost treasure from childhood, memories, and feelings long forgotten and condemned to darkness. You discover where things went wrong—how the floors are unlevel and how rot began to spread. You stay a while, exploring the depths, correcting what needs correcting and learning more about yourself in the process. Upon your return

to the ground floor, you see that the floors are more level, there’s less mold, and there’s a bit more silence. And in your arms, you carry loads of reclaimed treasure.

In this analogy, your psyche is the house. The upper floors are your ego-consciousness (your conscious mind) and the basement is your unconscious, the symbolic underworld. The flashlight represents your awareness. And the beautiful decor of your house serves the purpose of masking neglected foundations, which are often untended psychic wounds that are left to fester in the depths. The spreading mold, unlevel floors, and noises are all the ways in which the psyche is screaming out for help and attention. In practice, these things could look like emotional triggers, neurosis, depression, anxiety, addiction, and even physical illness. They could even be recurring dreams and nightmares. The lost treasures are talents, gifts and aspects of your personality that for one reason or another were banished to the unconscious, often as a result of needing to fit in with friends and family growing up. In the beginning, the rest of the house and the basement are separate spaces. One condemned to darkness and the other is occupied and decorated. However, eventually the basement is integrated into the house, which represents the process of integrating our unconscious shadows into our personality. What this analogy doesn’t describe is just how tough this process really is. One of the bravest things

we can do is confront ourselves totally and honestly. During these past few years, the COVID-19 pandemic forced this journey on many of us because there wasn’t much that could be done outside of our own houses. But despite how tough it can be, the greatest gift of the Heroine’s Journey

is to reconnect with our roots, our feelings, and our truth, so that when we return to the surface, we stand more grounded in our bodies, with planted feet and sturdy spines.

[NOTE]

*I use these terms masculine and feminine in the symbolic sense,

because, as individuals, we all embody both symbolically masculine and feminine characteristics. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what sex or gender you happen to be, both journeys as available to you as psychological principles and symbols. You could easily replace these terms with yin and yang

Kandace Sheri Hawley is an educator and writer who believes that every individual holds the key to their own truth. Her overall aim is to enable people on their own path to self-realization and discovery. She runs a podcast called “En Soma,” where she combines her academic background in education with her studies in Jungian Theory from GAP, along with her years of experience in analysis to share perspectives on spirituality, philosophy, society, and existence in general. You can find her at http://www.ensomapodcast.com

Photo by Daniel Roe on Unsplash

Focusing on what you need to do and doing it will always bring clarity to your tasks.

Darrel L. Hammon

Have you been at a loss lately to find focus and clarity in your life? During these times of both challenges and marvels, we tend to wonder where our focus is and whether there is any clarity. What cannot happen is that we give up and fade off into oblivion, just getting up—or even not getting up—in the morning and moping around the house, always wishing things would change but doing nothing about it.

The following seven principles/suggestions are (almost) surefire ways to find focus and clarity. The (almost) comes in if you read them, force a big yawn, and do nothing. If you want to do something to help, read on. Even if you have an inkling you want to do better, read it twice.

1.ALWAYS LOOK HOLISTICALLY AT EVERYTHING. (FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE!)

Challenges emerge when we do not look and focus on the big picture—your future. Yes, there are lots of details in anything

that we do. The rub comes when we focus only on the details and get lost in the minutia. It is like climbing into one of those deep pits full of little balls, red, white and blue, trying to find just the few blue ones and submerging ourselves into the pit in the process. All else fades into darkness, and we cannot tell the blue ones from the white ones or even the red ones, for that matter. The safe bet is to lift up your head and scan the entire area. Seeing holistically will always keep your mind and eyes open to the realm of possibilities. It’s ultimately like standing on a high mountain on a cloudless day and seeing forever in any direction. Ah, the beauty of a holistic view! Make sure your future is always in your sights.

2.ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN SUCCEED.

One of the key ingredients in the acceptance process is understanding that you can overcome challenges. Sure, there will always be a boatload of challenges that seem to dock in your path, some by your own choices, others because some people place them there, and still a few others that just seem to appear out of nowhere and try to sabotage you. You just need to accept those challenges and know that with patience and diligence, you will succeed. The marvelous thought that should come to you is that you can succeed because you choose to succeed.

3.DETERMINE WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO .

Some of us spend too much time on weighting a zillion things we can do or must do. While it is important to spend time thinking about things, at some point you have to determine what you really want to do or what needs to be done. I know a person who says I need to do this, but the moment she begins to walk to get that thing done, she gets distracted by some other thing that needs to be completed. Consequently, nothing gets done, and then she complains that she did not finish what she started to do. So, sit down, consider all of the things you need to do and want to do, write them down, and then prioritize through planning.

4.PLOW FORWARD WITH ALL EFFORT.

Once you determine what you want to do, just begin doing it by plowing forward with all effort. I have discovered that once you climb out of your shell or lethargy and just begin, you will find that it is exhilarating to be out and about doing what you have determined to do. There is something invigorating about accomplishing what you have determined to do. Just keep moving forward—no matter what. At times, you may not be able to go as fast as you would like, but continue to plow forward.

5.TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TOOLS AROUND YOU.

Knowing that you can succeed is enhanced by utilizing the tools that surround you. So, what are those tools? Most of the time we cannot really do things by ourselves—even brushing our teeth. We do need a toothbrush, toothpaste, and usually a mirror. Succeeding is attending that class that will help us, or finding some pertinent reading material off the web or checked out from

the library, or joining that free seminar offered by one of our colleagues or someone in the same business group—a snippet here, a bit of information there. Don’t be shy about using it to help you become even more focused and clear about your goals and aspirations. Just gather the tools up as you go. Don’t forget, though, to share your tools with others.

6.BE POSITIVE AND STICK TO IT.

Of course, when the challenges do come—and they will come, usually in bunches—you will need to be positive and stay positive. Now, this means a bit of pragmatism and reality need to align. The pragmatic person sees things in a realistic way because they know that things happen. That’s just the way it is. When you align pragmatism with positivity, you gain a sense of stick-to-itness. You truly understand that things will happen, and your positivity will propel you forward beyond any negativity. Period.

7.UTILIZE MENTORS. (LET APPROPRIATE PEOPLE HELP YOU.)

One of the important things to stay focused is finding a mentor or two who can help you stay on track. There really are lots of people who want to help you. True mentors will help people. I am not saying that you have to call them every single day to “check in.” Most mentors are there when you need them. They are not a crutch for you. Rather, they help boost you forward, giving you wings and motivation to go and do. Then, when someone asks you for help, please reciprocate. You will feel ennobled.

Focusing on what you need to do and doing it will always bring clarity to your tasks. Often, the clarity is so transparent you may think it is a newly cleaned window that allows you to see farther than you have ever seen. If the dimness ever reemerges, quickly take the effective, more focused and holistic view of things and the lucidity will engulf you.

Darrel L. Hammon has been dabbling in writing in a variety of genres since his college days, having published poetry, academic and personal articles/essays, a book titled Completing Graduate School Long Distance (Sage Publications), and a picture book, The Adventures of Bob the Bullfrog: Christmas Beneath a Frozen Lake (Outskirts Press). He also was the editor of the Journal of Adult Education (Mountain Plains Adult Education Association). Most of his essay/article writing has focused on topics about growing up, leadership, self-awareness, motivation, marriage/dating, and educational topics. Some of these articles/essays are in Spanish because Darrel is bilingual in Spanish/English, having lived in Chile, Dominican Republic, and southern California, and having worked with Latino youth and families all of his professional life in higher education. He has two blogs, one for personal writing at http://www.darrelhammon.blogspot.com/ and one for his consulting/life coaching business (http://www.hammonconsults.blogspot.com/). You can listen to a poem titled “Sprucing Up” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihTmuOUIAEI.

COMMITTED TO GROWTH COMMITTED TO GROWTH

We need to inspire new leaders who can hold up a mirror for others so that they can see their own brilliance.

By Jessica Summers

In August 2021, I left behind my home to start a new future, in a country I had never even visited. This radical change created a seismic shift in my life, and from there a vision evolved: The world needs new, empathic leaders—and I wanted to help them find their voice.

There are those who travel the world and those of us who stay at home. I had always been safely in the “stay-at-home category.”

But the days of endless turmoil in Spring 2020 changed me. I saw plane trails across the sky, while remaining landlocked in my garden, and I swore that, as soon as I possibly could, I would leave the country—and the town— where I had lived my whole life.

So, in summer 2021, I packed my car full to bursting, gave away everything else I owned, and put my house on the market. With my husband and 6-year-old daughter in tow, we drove 1,600 miles across Europe to Montenegro.

My family’s reaction? They were horrified. Why were we going Montenegro—a country we’d barely even heard of and didn’t speak the language. How would we live? What about our daughter?”

It was hard to explain to them why I needed to do this. I had no answers. But in my life I have made following the energy more vital than thinking and risk assessment.

The journey itself presented challenges, including negotiating the myriad COVID rules as we crossed each border. It then took another three long months before our house in the UK finally sold. It was a testing time. We had no guarantees. We have also had to make choices with a rapidity that

left me dizzy. BUT we have had mindblowing experiences.

I realized I had to step up and truly commit to my life—no one was going to do it for me. If your main aim in life is to be comfortable, safe and secure then you must slowly kill the wild miraculousness of you.

The move has had a dramatic effect on my career direction, too. As a hypno-psychotherapist, I had already noticed that once clients admitted they wanted more and committed to living a bigger life—one that was uniquely “them”— their symptoms went away. Stepping onto this path myself has opened up a whole new direction for me, too.

Inspired by my journey, I was suddenly gripped by the desire to undertake a grueling 28-day challenge I named TRUE GRIT. The plan? To undertake a high-intensity exercise program for 28 days—not for vanity’s sake, but because I had a theory: If you choose one thing that makes your hands shake and your palms sweat—and you fully commit to it for 28 days, no quitting—then it will install the element of true grit into every area of your life. It proved to be true!

The results were remarkable and life-changing for everyone who took part. People moved homes, met new partners, wrote and published songs and, above all, faced their demons.

I’m aware that there are some people out there who consistently start but don’t finish, choose less than they’re capable of, step forward then step back and hide. They generally live life feeling like they are never going to make it. Yet, these are the leaders of the future, and they need a unique community where they are free to become all they can be. I wanted the challenge to

encourage people to step up—and it was incredible to witness this in action.

But I don’t want to be anyone’s guru. We really don’t need that kind of leader now. We need people who can hold up a mirror for others so that they can see their own brilliance. I take part in the challenges along with the participants to help them truly commit to themselves and become leaders of their own lives.

They have to see my willingness to not know what’s going to happen next—my vulnerability—because I’m the biggest control freak there is. So if I can do it, believe me, anyone can!

This is what will create a better world: the space of vulnerability.

I am excited to expand this unique brand of mentorship, coaching and free community challenges to develop effective, powerful and autonomous empathic leaders. My hope is that these quietly courageous people will go out there and show the world how it’s done!

I want to help the empaths, imposter-syndrome sufferers, perfectionists and intentional underachievers. This one’s for you! Being a leader doesn’t require followers—it means stepping into ALL you can be. It’s simple and unique to each person. When we do that, everything works in our lives.

We stop trying to solve small problems and get curious about what kind of world we’d like to create in the future. And the community element of the TRUE GRIT challenge is indispensable to this. We do it together and that’s what makes the difference. It seems magical things can happen when you shake up your world. You don’t need to move halfway around the planet to do it. But maybe it helps.

Jessica Summers is an intuitive life coach, empathic energy coach and inspirational speaker who helps empathic entrepreneurs and coaches connect with their authentic voice and big mission, allowing them to transcend the marketplace, becoming much needed thought leaders. She lives in Montenegro with her husband and young daughter. Explore her world here: https://www.jessicasummershypnogenics.com and https://www.linkedin.com/ in/jessica-summers-hypnogenics/

THE Most Important Question

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION

Start HERE: A year of clarity, focus and forward motion!

By Terez Hartmann

The “Great Wheel of Life” has made another turn and here you a stand, gazing out at a buffet of infinite possibilities! For some, this is a wildly exciting thought, yet for others it may be the cause a full-blown meltdown, but in either case, there is a path to clarity, focus, and forward motion to be had for all who are will to ask THE most important question:

What Do You Want? (WDYW?)

It is astonishing how much of our lives and how many days can go by without taking the time to answer this MEGA important question FIRST and, not surprisingly, many of our goals and resolutions are based more around what others want or what they want from/for us, what society/current trends of the moment say we should want, what we used to want (but in truth no longer resonate with), or are just a remix of last year’s more generic intentions.

What if you gave yourself permission to consider what you REALLY want?

What if you dared to reach into NEW territory this year and carved out the time to discover what TRULY matters to you?

What if you did the things that ACTUALLY feed your well-being?

What if you opened yourself up to the NEW dreams that feel like the life of joy, freedom, and abundance you truly desire that are calling you?

With this auspicious opportunity of a bright, shiny, new year ahead for all of us, here are some ideas from my “Onward, Upward and Forward Master Class/ Focus Mastery and Breakthrough Life Coach Certification Course” to help get your (or your clients’) wheels turning to start this next trip around the sun with clarity and focus!

CREATE YOUR “WHEEL LIFE MAP”

Why “Wheel Life?” When you think about it, everything that is thriving is in motion in some form or fashion; the cells in our bodies, the planets, the sun, and even the universe itself! So when you resolve to move your mind and body forward in some way every day, you can’t help but discover clarity, focus and REAL progress as well!

Get your mind moving now by taking a moment to focus in on these five life areas, and let the questions inspire even more clarity (and perhaps, even more questions!) as you contemplate THE most important question in new ways. WDYW?

Do note that even if you are still collecting data and have not yet figured out what you truly want, identifying the FEELING you’d like to experience will absolutely set you on the path of joyful discovery!

Once you answer the questions to the best of your abilities, focus in on your top three favorites to focus upon for this year.

LIFE AREA #1: ADVENTURES/ EXPERIENCES

My upgraded/forward-flowing adventures and experiences feel:

• What new destinations do I visit and enjoy?

• What new activities do I experience and enjoy?

• What new types of cultures/people/creatures do I experience and enjoy?

• What new/upgraded style/mode of travel do I experience and enjoy?

• What gifts/upgrades do I bring to the world as I travel/enjoy my life?

My TOP Three: 1. 2. 3.

LIFE AREA #2: BODY-MIND-SPIRIT

My upgraded, forward-focused/moving body, mind and spirit feel:

• What is my upgraded attitude about life?

• What is my upgraded attitude about myself?

• What is my upgraded attitude about others/the world?

• What is my upgraded response to life challenges?

• What are my new/consistent “home zones?”

• What new things do I learn/discover:

• What new movement/dietary upgrades do I add to honor my body and feed my physical well-being?

• How does my upgraded body look, feel and function?

• What upgrades do I allow for rest/sleep/reset/ centering time?

• What upgrades do I add to my daily activities that truly feed my soul?

My TOP Three: 1. 2. 3.

LIFE AREA #3: HOME AND DAILY LIFE

My upgraded, forward-facing home and style of living feel:

• What is my upgraded version of where I live?

• What is my upgraded version of the size/layout of my home environment/s?

• What is my upgraded view from my space/s?

• What elements does my upgraded neighborhood/ surrounding area have that I love?

• What upgraded things/furniture/tools/vibes fill my space/s?

• What makes my upgraded space/s extra special?

• Who shares my upgraded space, and what is our daily flow?

• What is my upgraded mode of transportation/ mobility/exercise?

• What do I do to love, honor and maintain my home space/s, mode of transport and belongings?

My TOP Three: 1. 2. 3.

LIFE AREA #4: CAREER/ CREATIVITY/FINANCES

My upgraded, forward-flowing/moving career/ finances/creativity feels:

• What is my upgraded creative/work environment like? Where do I work/create?

• What does my upgraded typical work/creating day look/feel like?

• What is the nature of my upgraded work/creativity? What new things or ideas do I create or implement?

• What traits do my upgraded/ideal creative team have?

• What traits do my upgraded/ideal clients/ participants have?

• What is my target upgraded weekly, monthly or annual income?

• What upgrades do I contribute to others/the world with my abundance?

• What upgraded positive legacy do I leave for the next generation?

My TOP Three: 1. 2. 3.

LIFE AREA #5: RELATIONSHIPS

My upgraded, forward-flowing/moving romantic relationship/s feel/s:

• What is the essence of my upgraded romantic relationship/s?

• How does my upgraded relationship flow/how do we interact?

• What forward-focused things do we share in common/what do we enjoy/create together?

• What gifts/upgrades does my relationship bring to my life?

• What gifts/upgrades do I bring to my partner’s life?

• What is the essence of my upgraded family relationships?

• How do my upgraded family relationships flow/ how do we interact?

• What do we share in common/what do we enjoy/ create together?

• What gifts/upgrades does my family bring to my life?

• What gifts/upgrades do I bring to my family’s lives?

• What is the essence of your upgraded friendship relationships?

• How do my upgraded friendships flow/how do we interact?

• What forward-focused things do we share in common/what do we enjoy/create together?

• What gifts/upgrades do my friendships bring to my life?

• What gifts/upgrades do I bring to my friendships?

• What is the essence of my updated creative partners/career-related relationships?

• How do my upgraded creative partners/careerrelated relationships flow/how do we interact?

• What forward-focused things do we share in common/what do we enjoy/create together?

• What gifts/upgrades do my creative partners/ career-related relationships bring to my life?

• What gifts/upgrades do I bring to my creative partners/career-related relationships?

My TOP Three: 1. 2. 3.

CHOOSE AND ACT

Now that you’ve narrowed your visions and intentions down to your TOP Three in each subject, choose ONE item from each life area to focus upon NOW.

You can opt to choose only one item overall, choose two or three life areas, or give some of your time each week to your #1 item in each of the five life areas to feed a happy and dynamic life balance. Have your item/items in place? Take at least one action EVERY day that can help you move forward to REALIZE your goal/vision/intention, and resolve to continue this practice until you reach a point of completion. Keep this list and all of your options handy.

EVEN WHEN LIFE HAPPENS…

When major challenges present themselves that interrupt your flow of life, it can be all-too-easy to fall off the wheel (or “wagon”). But, just because you may not feel like you can take action in one life area, it does not stop you from moving forward in OTHER areas. For example: When I was in “ER life-or-death-on-call-24/7” mode with my family (toggling between my brother in

the ER/Intensive care and doing what I could for my mom, who was also extremely unwell), my CAREER/CREATIVITY/FINANCES life area went on a hard—and seemingly indefinite— pause. Due to the volatile nature of that entire journey, I was simply not able to accept bookings for music gigs or coaching clients, and definitely was not in a place to do any filming for my next course or record new music (all of which being THE main things that I linked with major forward motion for me).

BUT in the in-between time, when things did calm down for a minute, I did carve out time to insert whatever self-care I could, did short, simple home-maintenance like doing dishes or laundry when feasible, worked on the writing aspect of creating course content (based upon coping and moving through my real-time challenges), did some research and made some loose plans for future adventures that could easily be moved or cancelled, and honored the relationship with my family by doing the best I could to support both of them through their incredibly difficult journeys. Needless to say, I still managed to keep moving forward in small ways in my other life areas, and (though I may not have recognized it at the time), actually DID keep my foot in the door with my career, ALL of which paved the way for the productivity and joy I am experiencing NOW. What life area can YOU still feed right now?

GET A PARTNER IN FORWARD MOTION

In a perfect world, we all ideally keep the promises we make to ourselves, but when the bazillion distractions of life intervene, it is far too easy to set your intentions aside in favor of looking at the shiny object, trend, post, tweet, video or feed of the moment. And when you add in extreme stress or mega life challenges, those visions and intentions can quickly fall into the basement, garage or junk drawer of your life priorities—ESPECIALLY when you are a leader, mentor, parent or person who serves others and who is used to putting everyone else first.

As a fellow coach and business owner, I have always thought of myself as a highly self-motivated, self-directed person, but when I decided to reach out and connect with a like-minded accountability partner, my productivity and follow-through increased by leaps and bounds! So whether you are an aspiring coach/mentor or the captain of an empire, do consider the idea of a coach or accountability partner—it can be THE piece that changes EVERYTHING. Imagine looking back at the past year thinking, “Look at what I did!!” instead of “Oh well… perhaps next year…”

THE BOTTOM LINE: START HERE: A YEAR OF CLARITY AND FOCUS!

New days, months, seasons, holidays and years will come and go throughout the span of a human life, as will new thoughts, ideas, dreams and visions—along with new challenges that come with living life in 3-D.

But when you have a clear sense of direction, a good map, a working compass, a helpful guide, and a powerful willingness to keep moving toward what you truly desire, you activate the very REAL magic of getting to feel the satisfaction, pride and joy of experiencing (and manifesting) the upgraded version of YOU and your life: “Onward, Upward, and Forward to an upgraded version of ME Instead of my fears I will follow my dreams For I’d rather go where they lead!” ~from “Onward, Upward and Forward ©TTRH 2020-2022 Here’s to resolving to embrace a year (and LIFE) of clarity, focus and forward motion for the benefit of ALL and to TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY, living YOUR very precious Life on FIRE!

Author’s Note: For additional ideas and tools to help yourself and others discover clarity, focus, and forward motion while increasing your income potential, CLICK HERE.

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS

with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann is a Visionary Creative & top-rated instructor, Law of Attraction & Allowing YOUR Success specialist, published author, speaker, singer-songwriter, recording & performing artist & composer, “Catalyst for Fab-YOU-lous” and true Renaissance Woman who has already helped over 10,000 students in over 130 countries allow success and live life on FIRE. She is deeply passionate about helping other Powerful Creatives and Leading-Edge Thinkers live unique, empowered lives on their terms by cultivating the courage to dream, to express themselves boldly & authentically, and to focus Onward, Upward and Forward into new possibilities. http://www.terezfirewoman.com

A story to inspire you to step it up in your own life.

By Linda Commito

There is something special about my friend Kathy Fitz—the way that she truly engages with each person, deeply listens, and makes you feel like you matter. I always love being in her presence, and I walk away feeling grateful for our time together. But when I learned that Kathy had decided to donate a kidney to a total stranger just because it was something she could do . . . I was awed and wanted to know more.

Kathy, who grew up in St. Louis, MO, always remembers what her mother instilled in her as a child: “Whenever you give, even if its canned goods, always give the best that you can afford. Do the best by each person that you can.”

As an adult, Kathy was open to adventure and moved around a lot. She worked in San Diego with young people who had autism, lived in Hawaii and, even briefly, in Antarctica. Later, she found herself living and working at the Omega Institute in New York, interspersed with teaching jobs at preschools. One long-time friend, Steve, whom she met at Omega, says: “Kathy is loved by all who have the chance to meet her and be in her presence. Unpretentious, humble and kind are her strong qualities.” And now, with the purchase of a house that she shares in community, and a dog whom she rescued, Kathy calls Sarasota, FL, home.

Although Kathy had on occasion thought about being an organ donor, she said, “I was afraid

that I wouldn’t be able to do what I do physically.” Kathy changed her mind when she was inspired by the episode on American Ninja Warrior when 22-year-old Austin Gray, who donated a kidney to save the life of his childhood friend, then went on to win second place in a Ninja Warrior competition.

Although friends and family tried to talk her out of it, saying “It’s insane!” Kathy answered: “Of course I would do that. Why wouldn’t I?” And so, she did! At 61, Kathy chose to donate a kidney anonymously. She sometimes thinks about the young person and their family, especially during the holidays, and the gift of having more time together.

Kathy shares her other motivation: “It feels good because life seems so mean these days and for me to add some positivity to the world at this time in history is more meaningful to me.”

Her financial concerns were alleviated by the National Kidney Foundation (NKF), who took care of all expenses once Kathy was accepted. She felt healthy going into surgery, and well enough afterwards that she even walked two miles roundtrip, five days after surgery, to get Atlanta’s famous donuts!

Now a year later, Kathy says, “I would do it again for sure.” While reticent to share initially, she now feels that it’s important to tell people, and to let others know that there are many ways to help, even if it is through financial donations or listing one’s intentions on their license or in their will.

Kathy’s story inspires me to want to step it up in my own life. I believe we each have our own unique ways of positively impacting our family, friends, coworkers and even strangers. Everything, big or small, anonymously or face-to-face, is a gift that can make a difference in the life of another. In whatever way we choose, may we offer hope as we help to create a kinder, more loving world for all.

Love is the New Currency

with Linda Commito

Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game

The beginning of integrity in your

life is the removal of the self and self-interests from your actions.

By Emil Nazaryan

Have you heard the word integrity? You sure have! It’s everywhere. You see it used on billboards, ads, company mottos and even police cars. You often hear it in the news. And when you do, you recognize it as something positive. But have you ever dived into the true meaning of integrity? Have you investigated what constitutes integrity and what’s its source?

For a blanket understanding of this word, let’s turn to its opposite. Instead of using its antonym, how about we look at some examples? Here they are: cutting corners to get a higher return, lying and deceiving people, looking out for your own gain at the sake of hurting others, attacking people, polluting and littering the environment… You get the picture.

Now, let’s turn to you specifically. Do you possess integrity: honesty, virtue, goodness, decency, etc.? The answer is a whopping YES! Of course you do. It is an inborn human quality. The next set of questions get more tricky. Have you actually found it within yourself, and are you making deliberate use of this power? Have you made integrity into the motivating factor behind your actions? If you have, then you must be spiritually very advanced. Kudos to you! But if you haven’t, or you haven’t all the way, there is no need

to worry. This article will point you in the right direction.

Since we already covered the meaning of integrity as it’s generally used and understood in our daily lives, let’s dive far deeper into its source. We determined that integrity is in your own nature, possibly as a slowly smoking coal waiting to be ignited. What is the spark that is going to ignite this life-changing flame?

It’s probably not what you expect. The name of this spark is selflessness. The beginning of highest integrity is the removal of the self and self-interests from your actions. Doesn’t it sound paradoxical? It is, and it is the truth. But how?

To find out, you have to shift the motives of your actions. Start doing the right thing, even and especially when no one is looking and no one will ever find out. Don’t say anything about anyone that you wouldn’t say looking straight into their eyes. Exercise at least one deliberate integrous action each day, where only you and no one else knows about it. Make this into a firm habit. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Here are a couple of examples, and you can surely think of more.

• Pay for people behind you in drive throughs and don’t wait to see the expression on their faces.

• Send random letters to strangers with inspiring and encouraging messages. It may

be the best thing that happens to them that day.

• If you know someone is struggling financially and you are in a position to help, put some cash in a blank anonymous envelope, and leave it in their mailbox.

• Water wild flowers if there have been several days of hot sun with no rain.

• If you see trash in public places, pick it up and take it to the trash can...

Do you get the idea? These are actions that no one impels you to do and no one will blame you if you don’t do. The only reason you do them is because they are the right thing to do.

You may ask, “What does picking up trash in the parking lot have to do with integrity? Who cares about it? Who is going to appreciate it?” That’s exactly the point. It doesn’t matter who cares, knows or appreciates. You’re doing it because this builds up your own integrity.

This next point is crucial, so take a good note of it, and if you miss it, you’ll defeat the whole purpose. Here it comes. Do not credit yourself and inflate your ego as someone who’s doing kind deeds and good actions. If you do, you will fall into the trap of building a sense of superiority over others. Instead, forget about who did the action and focus on how

these actions affected the recipients. When you switch your focus on this, you will feel instant warmth and gratification, and a giant smile will illuminate your face. This is the sign that you’re on the right path.

When you keep this lifestyle, you will soon notice that you can’t live otherwise. Integrity will become a way of living and all your actions will stem from this motive unconsciously. This kind of life is most gratifying, peaceful and content.

However, it doesn’t end here. There is another piece of the puzzle to this paradox. The more you focus on welfare and well-being of others and the environment, and the less you focus on your self-interests, the more you will find yourself surrounded by opportunities, abundance and blessings. You will never have to chase success, as success will find you in every corner.

But perhaps, most important of all, there is a subtle, invisible and enormously powerful consequence to living with integrity. You may not even be aware of it! Even so, you will be like a bright flame, giving light and warmth, and other people will be coming to you to light their own candles, and in time they will turn into flames just like you. Soon you may look up and see the world as a much brighter place! And how did this start? You will look back and marvel how actions so small, unknown and unappreciated by others could lead to brightening the world.

Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com

Photo by almani ماني on Unsplash

When people with addictions engage directly with Spirit, they are able to move into a

deeper, more creative state of consciousness that leads to recovery.

By Lisa Cedrone

Did you know that Carl Jung helped to set the foundation for the 12 Step programs of recovery?

A few years ago I came across the letters between Bill Wilson and Carl Jung, which were written in 1961, six months before Carl Jung died. Bill Wilson was a cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)—the group that developed the original 12 Steps—and Carl Jung was the Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology and is responsible for concepts such as synchronicity, archetypes and the collective unconscious.

In these letters, Wilson credits Jung for making major contributions to the spiritual foundation of AA, most notably suggesting the hopeless alcoholic is powerless and that a spiritual solution is most likely the only hope for recovery from alcoholism.

During his long career, Jung’s clients included Rowland Hazard, an American businessman and a member of one of the most prominent Rhode Island textile families. Hazard was a graduate of Yale, he served in the Rhode Island state senate from 1914–1916, and he was a hopeless alcoholic. Hazard later helped Ebby Thacher, another hopeless alcoholic, and Thacher eventually shared his experience and the connection to Jung’s philosophies with Wilson.

Here is a quote from Bill Wilson’s initial letter to Carl Jung:

“My recollection of [Roland’s] account of [your] conversation is this: First of all, you frankly told him of his hopelessness, so far as any further medical

or psychiatric treatment might be concerned. This candid and humble statement of yours was beyond doubt the first foundation stone upon which our society [AA] has since been built. Coming from you, one he so trusted and admired, the impact upon him was immense. When he then asked you if there was any hope, you told him that there might be, provided he could become the subject of a spiritual or religious experience—in short, a genuine conversion. You pointed out how such an experience, if brought about, might remotivate him when nothing else could. …”

Now a quote from Carl Jung’s response to Bill Wilson:

“Roland’s craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval [meaning biblical] language: the union with God. … The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is, that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. …

“You see, alcohol in Latin is spiritus and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as the most depraving poison. The helpful formula therefore is: spiritus contra spiritum.”

What does this mean? The highest form of spiritual experience counters the most depraving poison for those with addiction: alcohol.

I want to dig deeper into Jung’s conclusion through the book The Paradox of Addiction: The Call for the Transcendent, by Dr. Ashok Bedi, a Jungian psychoanalyst who is affiliated with the Kripa Foundation in Mumbai, India, which is dedicated to addiction recovery and

helping people with HIV and AIDS. He wrote this book with Rev. Joseph Pereira, the founder of Kripa, and they both are strong proponents of 12 Step programs.

As they point out in the book: Jung’s insights promote a “psychology of surrender, which in Jung’s terms means establishing a bridge from the ego to the self or the soul.” The paradox itself is mirrored in the words of the Apostle Paul, says Pereira: “Virtue is made strong by weakness…when you are weak you are strong… because My Grace is enough for you.”

They propose that, according to Jung, “A crisis or trauma can provide the sand grit around which the oyster of our personality may incubate the pearl of individuation and emergence. The breakdown of the ego is an opportunity for the breakthrough of the soul.” [Jung defines individuation as the process of psychological differentiation with the goal of developing our individual personality in the quest for wholeness and finding our true Self.]

And when people suffering with addictions learn to engage with Spirit directly, the addictions subside. They are able to gain a “spiritual experience”—a deeper, higher or more creative state of consciousness. This is one of the key principles behind 12 Step Programs, they conclude: “restoring a connection with the Higher Power.”

My personal experience in recovery, which began in 2007, has left me in complete agreement. It often feels as if I’m in an elegant dance to balance inner work—such as the prayer and meditation of Step 11 (See Figure 1)—with my outer actions in the world to truly live in integrity. For me, the spiritual “conversion,” as

Bill Wilson called it, had to evolve from an event to an ongoing process—and it definitely takes continuous motion to keep evolving in consciousness.

I had to change so many things in my world: the “people, places and things” expression so often used in recovery. I had to give up the idea of ever going back to my corporate career because it revolved around drinking and entertaining. I had to embrace gratitude for what I do have and stop focusing on what I perceived I had lost (which was a lot). I need to embrace lifelong learning, which includes Jung’s analytical

psychology, and my list grows as I continue to grow.

As we ring in the New Year, many will wonder if now is the time to address an addiction that has become a debilitating distraction in their lives. If your answer is “yes,” then understanding that 12 Step programs are based on solid, proven psychological concepts that trace back to the work of one of the most influential figures in psychology—Carl Jung—may be just the nudge you need to move in a new direction and join a community dedicated to helping you recover from the “disease of more.”

Figure 1

THE 12 STEPS

1) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol [insert your addiction]— that our lives had become unmanageable.

2) Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God [insert your name of choice] as we understood Him [insert your gender of choice]

4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5) Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6) Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7) Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8) Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12) Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Lisa Cedrone currently serves as the editor of Transformation Coaching Magazine and was the executive director of the C. G. Jung Society of Sarasota from 2016 until 2022. She is a mentor and teacher with a passion for sharing the experience, strength and hope from her own life-changing near-death experience and recovery journey. Lisa also spent 15 years as an editor and editor-in-chief for two of the largest business-to-business publishers in the United States. Her universal worldview changed following a profound near-death experience in 2002, during which she was given the opportunity to come back to our world and finish her learning journey in this life. For more information, email Lisa at Lisa@DragonFlyNation.com or visit https://www.DragonFlyNation.com