Irish-English translation by Peter Weakliam

IRISH

‘An Chéad Oíche’

Pádraig Ó Cíobháin

This excerpt describes the first night a young man and woman spend together. We perceive in their conversation a kind of ellipsis, as we become aware

Bhí sí tamall ag machnamh. ‘Cad atá ar t’aigne?’ ‘Bhíos ag cuimhneamh anois díreach.’ ‘Cad air?’ ‘Is tú an chéad fhear riamh a thug bean orm. Is gnáthaí go dtugann daoine cailín orm. Is maith liom é sin. Bean. Bean is ea mise. Nach iontach an mhotháilt í. Téann criothán tríom nuair a thugann tú bean orm. Sin rud nár tharla riamh dom. Cuimhneoidh mé ar an oíche anocht go deo, fiú amháin má scaraimíd. Braithim gur bean anocht mé, den gcéad uair riamh. Fé mar gur fear tusa agus nach buachaill. Bhraithfinn i gcónaí im chailín beag scoile nuair a thugadh daoine cailín orm. Fiú amháin Aindrias. Cailín a thugadh sé orm.’ ‘Cé Aindrias?’ bhraith sé buille fé mar a bheadh lascadh fachta aige ó mhiúil san ucht. ‘Sin é an buachaill go rabhas ag dul ina theannta i Luimneach. Bhí sé sa choláiste corpoideachais ach bhí aithne againne, cailíní, ar na buachaillí go léir, ní nach ionadh!’ ‘Is dócha é. Conas a bhuailis le Aindrias, nó cad as é?’ Bhí sé tugtha suas ar fad anois aige dhi. Cheap sé siúralta go gcaithfeadh sé an oíche a thabhairt ag éisteacht léi ag caint ar a cuid fear. Bhraith sé saghas ina amadán aici, ach níor lig sé air é sin. Bhí an chaint seo ar fad an-mhíchompordúil dó. Chorraigh sé sa ghainimh fé mar a bheadh sé ag druidim uaithi. Domhan eile ina saol ab ea é seo ná raibh aon bhaint aige féin leis ach chaithfeadh sé éisteacht a thabhairt di. B’fhearr leis ná faic go n-éisteodh sí a béal agus scéal éigin eile a tharraingt anuas. ‘Loscadh ar Aindrias, pé hé féin,’ a dúirt sé ina chroí istigh. ‘Ó Chontae Laoise ab ea é. Fear mór ard, sé troithe go leith ar aoirde. Nach ait é go fir arda a bhíonn agamsa i gcónaí ach amháin tusa! B’ait leis na cailíní eile é sin anocht.’ Dhearg sé go bun na gcluas. B’fhearr leis a bheith na mílte ó bhaile. ‘An-lúthchleasaí ab ea é sa choláiste. Ní raibh éinne eile chomh hábalta leis. Bhí sé féin agus ceathrar dá chairde i dtigh ag fanacht. Bhí an tigh ar cíos acu. Théinnse agus cúpla cailín eile ó mo bhliain ar cuaird go minic chucu. Is mar sin a chuireas aithne air. Ansin thosnaíomair ag dul amach le chéile. Agus rud a bhí an-ait mar gheall air, ní air a bhíos ag faire in aon chor ach ar leaid eile. Tom an ainm a bhí air sin. Leaid aoibhinn ab ea é, ach bhí sé an-chúthaile-

of things left unsaid. The story invites us to consider the gulf that often exists between our words and what is in our hearts.

ENGLISH

‘The First Night’

translated by Peter Weakliam

For a while she was lost in thought. ‘What’s on your mind?’ ‘I was just thinking.’ ‘About what?’ ‘You’re the first man to ever call me a woman. People usually call me a girl. I like that: a woman. I’m a woman. It’s a great feeling. Something inside me trembles when you call me a woman. That hasn’t ever happened to me before. I’ll remember this night forever, even if we separate. I feel that I’m a woman tonight, for the first time ever. Just as you’re a man and not a boy. I’d always feel like a little schoolgirl when people called me a girl. Even Andrew – he used to call me a girl.’ ‘Who’s Andrew?’ He felt a blow as if he’d got a whack in the chest from

a mule.

‘That’s the guy I was seeing in Limerick. He was in the P.E. college, but we girls knew all the boys, as you’d expect!’ ‘I suppose. How’d you meet Andrew, or where’s he from?’ He had given in to her completely now. He thought he’d definitely have to spend the night listening to her talk about her men. He felt like she was making a bit of a fool of him, but he didn’t let on. All this talk was very uncomfortable for him. He moved in the sand, as if he was slipping away from her. This was a whole other world in her life which had nothing to do with him, but he’d have to listen to her. He wished more than anything that she’d shut up and talk about something else. ‘Fuck Andrew, whoever he is,’ he said to himself. ‘He was from County Laois. A big, tall guy, six and a half feet. Isn’t it strange that I always go for tall guys, apart from you! The girls thought that was funny tonight.’ His whole face went red. He wished he were somewhere else, miles

away.

‘He was a great athlete in college. No one else was as good as him. He and four of his friends were staying in a house. They were renting the place. I used to go visit them a lot with a couple of other girls from my year. That’s how I got to know him. Then we started going out with each other. And the funny thing about it was that I wasn’t even after him at all, but another lad. He was called Tom. He was a great guy, but he was very shy. I’d say he thought he didn’t

IRISH ach. Déarfainn gur cheap sé ná raibh aon tseans aige i gcomparáid le Aindrias. Ó! Dá mbeadh a fhios aige. Bhíos fiain mar gheall air!’ Stop sí den gcaint. Bhí a dhá láimh anois aici ag fáscadh a glún lena hucht agus í ag féachaint anairde sa ghealaigh. B’é Tom fear na gealaí anocht. Dhruid sé féin leathtroigh uaithi. Lean an sos tamall fada. An bhean ag cuimhneamh ar an leannán a chuaigh di, agus an fear a bhí le bheith ina leannán anocht aici, dearmadta. N’fheadair sé anois cad a chuirfeadh sé ina leabhar. Ach thuig sé go gcaithfeadh sé rud éigin a rá sara ndearmadfaí ar fad é. ‘Cad mar gheall ar Aindrias. An raibh a fhios aige mar gheall ar an bhfear eile?’ Gheit sí. D’fhéach sí cliathánach uaithi air fé mar gurbh ait léi é a bheith in aon chor ann. ‘Ó sea Aindrias! Ní raibh a fhios aige sin faic. Ní dúrt aon ní leis mar bhí sé an-fhormadúil. Níor mhaith leis mé a bheith ag caint le aon fhear eile. Is toisc san i ndáiríribh a bhriseas suas leis!’ ‘Cathain a bhrisis suas leis?’ ‘Níl sé ach seachtain ó shin. Tháinig sé anseo chun bualadh liom. Bhíos tar éis a rá leis i Luimneach go raibh deireadh linn, ach ní ghéillfeadh sé. Ní shásódh faic é gan teacht anseo ag argóint arís liom. Ó! Fuair sé an-chrosta liom mar gheall air!’ Bhraith sé saghas báidh anois aige le hAindrias. Thuig sé go mbeadh sé i féin i mbróga Aindriais fós b’fhéidir. Ach nuair a labhair sé cheapfá gur mó le báidhiúlacht lena cás san é. ‘Cad a thit amach?’ ‘Bhuel, tháinig sé anseo. Chuamar amach ag rothaíocht. Bhíomair ag siúl suas i gcoinne aird Chaisleán Ráth Fhionáin. Nuair ná fanfainn ag dul amach leis sháigh sé uaidh mo rothar sa tslí go leag sé anuas ar an mbóthar mé. Ghearr sé sa ghlúin seo mé.’ Thosnaigh sí ag tochas a glúin fé mar a bheadh an ghearb ag cneasú agus tochas inti. Chuir críochnú an chaidrimh ar an gcuma so eagla air. Ní foláir nó go raibh drochmhianach in Aindrias ach b’fhéidir go raibh smut de chúis aige leis. Ní bheadh a fhios agat. D’fhéach sé arís uirthi. Cheap sé go bhfaca sé rud éigin ná raibh róchneasta ina haghaidh ar feadh soicinde. Tháinig scamall ar an ré, rud go raibh sé buíoch de, mar gurbh fhearr leis an fhéachaint sin a bhualadh féna chois. Ina dhiaidh sin thuigfí dó gurb ann a shamhlaigh sé é. Dhruid sé isteach arís léi. Chuir sé a lámh timpeall uirthi. ‘Ná habair a thuilleadh, a stór. Ná bí ’od shuaitheadh féin leis. Féach raghaimíd abhaile.’ Chuadar. Níor chaith sé faic a rá mar gheall ar a chúrsaí féin. Ní móide go dtuigfeadh sí dhó pé scéal é, mar go mb’fhéidir go raibh an iomad béime ar an gcollaíocht ina chaidreamh le mná go dtí so. Fear ab ea é go raibh a ghabhal

ENGLISH have a chance compared to Andrew. Oh, if he’d only known! I was crazy about him!’

She stopped talking. She was squeezing her knees against her chest with her arms and looking up at the moon. Tom was the man in the moon tonight.

He pulled half a foot away from her. There was a long silence. The woman remembering the lover that got away, and the man who was to be her lover tonight, forgotten. He didn’t know what to make of it all now. But he knew he had to say something before he was forgotten altogether. ‘What about Andrew? Did he know about the other guy?’ She started. She looked over at him as if she found it strange that he was there. ‘Oh yeah, Andrew! He didn’t know anything. I didn’t tell him anything because he was very jealous. He didn’t like me talking to other guys. That’s really the reason I broke up with him.’ ‘When did you break up with him?’ ‘Only a week ago. He came here to meet me. I was after telling him in Limerick that we were done, but he wouldn’t listen. All he wanted was to come here and argue with me again. Oh, he got very cross with me about it!’ He felt a kind of sympathy for Andrew now. He knew that he could yet be in Andrew’s shoes. But when he spoke, it seemed more out of sympathy for her situation. ‘What happened?’ ‘Well, he came here. We went out cycling. We were heading up the hill towards Rahinnane Castle. When I didn’t agree to keep going out with him he shoved my bike and knocked me onto the road. He cut my knee, just here.’ She started scratching her knee, as if the scab was healing and had become itchy.

The way the relationship had ended like this worried him. Andrew must have had a temper, but maybe he had a bit of a point too. You wouldn’t know. He looked at her again. He thought he saw something not very pleasant in her face for a second. A cloud covered the moon, and he was grateful for this, because he’d rather get rid of that sight. Later he would think he had imagined it. He drew close to her again. He put his arm around her. ‘Don’t say any more, darling. Don’t be getting worked up about it. Look, let’s head home.’ They did. He didn’t have to say anything about himself. She probably wouldn’t have understood him anyway, as there had perhaps been too much focus on sex in his relationships with women up to now. He was a man living two lives – working in Cork in the winter, and home in Corca Dhuibhne in the summer – and he hadn’t got to know women properly the way she had known

IRISH leata aige ar dhá shaol – ag obair i gCorcaigh sa gheimhreadh, agus ag baile i gCorca Dhuibhne sa tsamhradh gan aithne curtha aige i gceart ar mhná fé mar a bhí aici seo ar leithéid Aindriais d’fhear. Bean aige seachtain, b’fhéidir coicíos, craic leathair, í imithe agus ansan bean eile. Níor dhóigh leis anois, tar éis an slí inar ghortaigh Aindrias í, go mbeadh puinn suime aici ina eachtraí féin. Thug an méid sin an-fhaoiseamh dó. Bhíodar anois i mbuaile an tí ina raibh sí ag fanacht i gCathair Bó Sinne. Bhíodar ag fágaint oíche mhaith ag a chéile. ‘Scanraigh Aindrias mé,’ a dúirt sí ‘an lá sin. D’imigh sé an lá ina dhiaidh sin agus ní fhaca ó shin é. Tá sórt leisce orm tosnú ar chaidreamh grá eile chomh tapaidh arís. Ní dócha gur ceart dom é a dhéanamh, mar ní bheadh sé féarálta ortsa.’ ‘Más maith leat. Is dócha go bhfuil an ceart agat,’ arsa é sin, tocht ina ghlór. ‘Níl aon leigheas air.’ Phóg sé í. D’athraigh san í. ‘Ó! Cad ina thaobh gur tharraingíos anuas an scéal san in aon chor? Loit sé an oíche orainn. Cad a tháinig orm? Ach bhí sé ar m’aigne agus chaitheas é a rá leat.’ ‘Tuigim a stór. Ná bac é. Is dócha go bhfuil sé chomh maith agamsa imeacht.’ ‘Ó ná himigh anois. Fan go fóill. Cuir do lámha timpeall orm arís mar déanann sé maitheas dom.’ Dhein sé amhlaidh. ‘Mar seo?’ ‘Sea, mar sin.’ Bhí deora anois lena súile. Thóg sí amach seál póca agus thriomaigh na

deora.

‘Is dócha ná teastaíonn uait mé a fheiscint go deo arís.’ Bhí sí anois fé mar a bheadh leanbh go mbeadh rud éigin déanta as an slí aici, ag lorg maithiúnachais. D’oscail a chroí di. ‘Bhreá liom bualadh leat arís oíche amáireach.’ Chuir sí a lámha timpeall air, bhuail a ceann i gcoinne a uchta. ‘Ó,’ arsa í, agus í ag crithíl ag an ngol, fé mar a bheadh pian uirthi ag an aithreachas a bhí uirthi mar gheall ar an Súilleabhánach… ar Tom… agus ar Aindrias. ‘Tuigim!’ arsa é sin ina aigne féin.