The River Journal, February 2012

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A News MAGAZINE Worth Wading Through

Local News • Environment • Wildlife • Opinion • People • Entertainment • Humor • Politics

February 2012 | FREE | www.RiverJournal.com

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THE RIVER JOURNAL A News Magazine Worth Wading Through ~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811 www.RiverJournal. com•208.255.6957

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Call 208.255.6957 or email trish@riverjournal. com

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STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility Trish Gannon-trish@riverjournal.com

Ministry of Truth and Propaganda Jody Forest-joe@riverjournal.com

Regular Contributors

Jinx Beshears; Gil Beyer; Scott Clawson; Sandy Compton; Idaho Rep. George Eskridge; Lawrence Fury; Dustin Gannon; Matt Haag; Ernie Hawks; Kathy Osborne; Gary Payton; Paul Rechnitzer, Boots Reynolds; Lou Springer; Mike Turnlund

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509.534.3625 Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2012. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho. The River Journal is printed on 40 percent recycled paper with soy-based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.

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2. THE QUEEN OF FUN’S ANNUAL PARTY Gail Fendley’s dream of a local variety show to raise money for a local charity is now in its tenth year and bigger than ever!

4. DON’T FORGET THE SLED! Winter fun can be at its best with something flat to sit on, and a hill to slide down 5. MAKING MOOSE DROOL Ernie says it takes patience.

6. PLANNING YOUR HUNTS Out on the Game Trail, Matt Haag says something something something.

7. GROUNDED Lou Springer recommends a number of local books written by those who are grounded in a place. Currents 8. THE DOWNY WOODPECKER Let Mike Turnlund introduce you to what he calls the area’s “wee-est” nail driver. A Bird in Hand 9. RADAR For love of a dog. A step

back to the very first Scenic Route 10. IN THE GARDEN Gardening without water?

10. CHANGING PERSPECTIVE Kathy’s Faith Walk leads to a changed world view.

11. LIVING IN A TIME OF MYTH Looking at today’s political climate through the eyes of Gilgamesh.

Politically Incorrect 12. OTTER’S BUDGET RECOMMENDATIONS Rep. George Eskridge shares Governor Otters ideas on funding for the next fiscal year. A Seat in the House 13. WHICH IS IT? Paul Rechnitzer says it’s not just the journey or the destination... but both.

14. THE LATEST FROM THE BIGFOOT WORLD Was Bigfoot filmed in Spokane, or is this the latest in a line of hoaxes?

A report from the Files of the RJ’s Surrealist Research Bureau.

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14. THE HOUSE THAT BREATHED Just outside of the Valley of Shadows, did a house remodel uncover the previous owner’s health issues?

16. CALENDAR Upcoming events in downtown Sandpoint 17. NOTHING FOR VETERANS and Gil Beyer argues that Congress is doing nothing for anyone else, for that matter. Veterans’ News

4

18. OBITUARIES 19. SNOW IS NOT MY FRIEND When it comes to getting out and about in winter, Jinx believes she’s Jinxed.

20. I AM THE OLD FART And Scott Clawson wants to know, just how did that happen?

12

20. THE END OF THE WORLD Another viewpoint on the end of the world, from the Mouth of the River.

14

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

Cover photo

by Trish Gannon

YOU’RE INVITED to the Queen of Fun’s Annual Party! Bring your checkbook.

When Gail Fendley made her way to Clark Fork from Atlanta via Durango, Colorado, the “Greater Sandpoint” area had no idea what was in store for them. This whirlwind of activity has had her finger in a lot of local pies, but her lasting legacy may well be the annual variety show that everyone talks about—the Follies. The major fundraiser for local charity The Angels Over Sandpoint, the Follies is an R-all-the-way-to-the-boundaries-of-X-rated variety show that brings in the bulk of the money used each year by this group to support those in need in our area, and it all started with an idea Gail (known locally as Velma, Queen of Fun) had based on a similar program back in Durango. I sat down with Gail to talk about the Follies—which celebrates its tenth anniversary this year—the Angels, our community, and the legacy of Kathy Pelland, which her friends have grown from an impulse to emulate Pelland’s caring heart into a powerhouse of support that’s helped thousands of our community members when they needed help.

Q. If I’ve never attended the Follies before, what can I expect?

A. It’s a variety show with an edge, which means singing, dancing, comedy skits and more, all geared toward an adult audience but staying within the boundaries of what’s legal in Sandpoint.

Q. I’ve heard the show pushes those boundaries.

Is that true?

A. The show can be bawdy, let’s put it that way. Our emcees make a point each year at the beginning of the show to warn people that if they’re easily offended, they should leave because this is not a show they’ll enjoy.

There might be cussing, sexual references,

drug references, and the one that can really make people angry, skits about politics. We collect donations for the work the Angels do in giant “collection condoms,” and most years, it’s been rather risque “nuns” who have done the collecting.

Most of the performers— who create their own acts, by the way—grew up with Monty Python, Second City, Saturday Night Live and the like... and it shows. Q. Wow. So the goal is to be offensive?

A. Not in the least. The goal is to be funny.

Period. But if you have a great act that might offend some people, that’s not going to get you kicked out of the line-up.

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Q. Idaho’s a pretty conservative state. How does that go over?

A. Let’s put it this way. The first year we did the show, we had a couple people walk out, and everyone was talking about the show, both good and bad. The next year, people for whom the show is not quite their cup of tea didn’t buy tickets... but a lot of other people did. By year five, there was so much demand for tickets MickDuff’s was televising a live simulcast of the show; we had sold out tickets in one day.

The following year, we added a second show to the weekend.

Q. This year you’re doing the show on two weekends. What’s that all about?

A. That’s about the tenth anniversary of the Follies, and the need in the community. Last year we raised about $30,000 from the show. The Angels spent almost $90,000 to support the community in a variety of ways, and we could have spent a lot more. We need to raise cash, and that’s the number one goal. We hope everyone remembers that we really want them to have fun, but the primary purpose is to raise dollars that can be used to help people in our community.

Also, with this being the tenth anniversary, we wanted to bring back some of the acts throughout the years that have been big hits for the audience, along with highlighting new acts. But the level of talent in this community is so high, and we’ve had so many great acts on the stage, that there’s no way we could do it all in one show. So we added a weekend. There will be two different shows that are a mix of old and new, with only a few of the acts repeated on the second weekend.

Q. How in the world are you going to pull off two full weekends of shows? Isn’t that a lot of work?

A. Yes, it’s a lot of work, but we’ll pull it off the same way we pulled off that very first show—through the effort of an awful lot of people.

I hate to start naming the people we rely on, because there’s so many I’m afraid I’ll leave someone out. But here are some: First, there’s Deb McShane, our artistic director. She has loads of real theater experience, which is a wonderful support to our performers. We have had a lot of people whose first experience of being on stage is at the Follies, and she helps coach them and make them feel comfortable.

Chris Lynch is our on-stage accompaniment for the performers and he is just a musical maestro. He can get

whatever we need out of that magical machine of his.

Then there’s Eddie Fontaine—and before him Jeff Poole—doing the sound. No matter how good the show is, it’s not going to matter if people can’t hear it.

Kathy Andruzak takes care of the tickets, and that’s no easy thing, let me tell you! She has heard every excuse in the book for why you didn’t buy your ticket before they sold out, so don’t call her at home. Really. Jeff Nizzoli and Jessica Lippi run the martini bar. Right now, Roy Shreve is running the main bar.

You know, there’s so much that’s done by Angel spouses and they hardly get any recognition at all.

Shasta Hankins helps performers get into theatrical makeup; Gail Lyster created the Follies gal used on the poster and hand-painted the canvas backdrop with several volunteers. There’s our crew that works backstage, and all the Angels who cleans up the theater after the show.

And our performers. Not only do these people share their talent on our behalf, each and every one of them also buys their own ticket to the show. When you think about it, it’s an amazing list of people who make this all happen, and it’s all on behalf of our friends in need in Bonner County.

Q. So you want to give us a hint what will be in the show and when? So that people who missed seeing certain things live can catch up?

A. I think I’d rather leave it all a mystery, so people can be surprised at what’s on stage.

Q. Just how good are these performers? Are they professionals, or just talented locals?

A. A few are professionals, though most are just talented people. But there’s no “just” about it. Those who have never attended a show (we call them the Follies virgins) walk out the door at the end absolutely astounded at the level of talent our performers demonstrate.

Q. Are all of your performers members of

the Angels?

A. Not at all, but a surprising number of Angels came to us after performing in the show. They saw how much fun we have, and learned about the good things we do, and wanted to continue to be a part of that.

Q. So tell me about those good things the Angels do. You help cancer patients, right?

A. Cancer patients and a whole lot of other people, too. We like to say that the Angels are there to help the people in our community who fall through the cracks.

Sometimes that’s cancer patients but not as often now that there are other groups in the community helping with that type of challenge. Our focus is mostly on people in our community who have unexpectedly lost their jobs, or suffered an injury and can’t work, or are dealing with some type of crisis situation where they need a little help. Maybe they’re behind on their bills, or can’t afford to buy firewood or get the driveway plowed. And that’s where the Angels come in. We can help in a lot ways; we cook meals, we weed flower beds... we’re a hands-on organization that does whatever it takes to get the job done.

These are the types of things the dollars raised at the Follies go toward, as well funding scholarships: one for volunteerism, dollars for participation in Sports and Rec activities for children, and a scholarship for the arts, in partnership with the Festival at Sandpoint. We also do a fundraising campaign in August for our back to school program (providing backpacks of supplies for local students in need), and we’ve just partnered with the Amber Coffman Campbell Memorial Fund to provide grants to people making a fresh start by continuing their education.

Q. That should be enough to convince anyone to buy a ticket to the show. How do they get one?

A. Tickets are on sale right now in downtown Sandpoint at Eve’s Leaves, Eichardts and Petal Talk. Or you can buy a ticket online at SandpointOnline.com.

Tickets are still just $25.

If you can’t make it to the show, and would like to help the Angels in the things we’re trying to do, visit our website at AngelsOverSandpoint.com to see how you can help, or even just write us a check and mail it to PO Box 2369, Sandpoint, ID 83864.

Photos: Facing page, Gail Fendley. This page, top to bottom: Andrew Sorg, Audra Mearns and Kate McAlister. This trio is bound to appear in any “Best Of” performance of the Follies.

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

For Low Tech Fun in the Snow... Pull out the Sled!

Coming on to February, the pattern for winter is generally set. This year, that pattern could be said to be big dumps of snow followed by rain that slowly wears it away. Of course, as that’s only happened three times in the lower parts of the valley so far this winter, pattern might be too ambitious a word.

Nonetheless, February is too soon to be looking to spring, as the chances are good there is more snow in the forecast—heavy falls of snow thanks to

the La Nina conditions out in the Pacific.

Copious inches of fresh powder on the ground are an irresistible lure, pulling people outside to enjoy it in hundreds of different ways, not to mention having to move it from one place to another. And the easiest way to enjoy it, perhaps, is with something (mostly) flat to sit on, and a hill to slide down.

THE GEAR

Did you know you can spend an astounding amount of money on a sled?

The nice part about sledding, however, is you don’t have to. Sleds can be made out of a variety of materials, including garbage can lids, scoop shovels, pieces of cardboard (be sure to pull up the front so it doesn’t just dig into the snow), inner tubes, plastic laundry baskets, cookie sheets, kiddie pools, the top to a barbecue (take off the handle of course) or even just a plastic garbage bag wrapped around

your bottom. I’ve even heard people talking about sledding on old car hoods (detached from the car), but I don’t actually know many people who have old car hoods just laying around. And this is definitely not a ‘sled ingredient’ you want to borrow from your neighbor—at least, not without asking first.

As Jinx points out in her column this issue (see page 19), if the snow is slick enough, you don’t actually need anything underneath you to find yourself sliding through it. Technically, however, what differentiates sledding from falling is some type of equipment underneath you and, of course, the purposeful nature of it.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: The American Academy of Pediatrics warns that, on average, emergency rooms will treat almost 21,000 injuries every year from sledding accidents, with children aged 10–14 sustaining 42.5 percent of the injuries. They recommend that “Sleds should be structurally sound and free of sharp edges and splinters, and the steering mechanism should be well lubricated.”

Yes, their recommendation is to “Use steerable sleds, not snow disks or inner tubes,” or, presumably, garbage can lids, kiddie pools, shovels and the like. They also recommend that your children should wear a helmet when sledding. (I did not know this when I took David’s grandchildren sledding, as evidenced in this picture. I swear.

Apparently, Pat McManus’ mother never got this piece of advice, either.)

THE VENUE

Gear in hand, the next step on your sledding adventure is to find that perfect ski hill, and that can be a little more difficult than you might expect if you don’t already have one in mind. A quick Facebook inquiry asking about the best sledding hills in the area netted practically zero serious responses. The location of a perfect sledding hill is almost as tightly guarded as those of huckleberry patches, morel mushroom growths, and fishing holes.

Even worse, those willing to share

the location of a sledding hill have an appalling tendency to favor illegal locations, although that might just reflect my choice of friends on Facebook. Other suggestions are for private land. (For example, Mike Martin says the very best place to sled is at his grandma’s house. I’m sure Judith won’t mind my sharing that with you.)

My own favorite location to sled (the place where all the sledding photos in this issue were taken, in fact) is the gently sloping hill in front of Hope Elementary School on the Samowen Peninsula—which happens to be private property. This land is not owned by the school district, and you must have permission from the owners to sled there.

Here’s a few pointers for scouting out sledding hills on your own. If you spot one, and you suspect it might be privately owned, ask permission before you sled there. Duh. While a patch of ground needs to have at least some slope in order to sled on it, the slope doesn’t have to be extreme.

Even a mild hill can offer fun sledding opportunities, especially if your children are smaller.

Make sure the spot you choose has a lot of flat, empty area at the bottom, because a speeding sled will continue for quite some distance even when slope is removed from the equation. In particular, you don’t want to sled into roadways, parking lots and/or off of cliffs.

Establish a set area for climbing back up the hill, and don’t sled there. Not only will climbing tear up your sledding roadbed, it hurts to be taken out by a speeding sled on the slog back up.

State parks can offer great sledding opportunities. You can purchase an “Annual Passport” for $25 (plus tax) that allows you day use entry at all of Idaho’s state parks. Round Lake State Park has a 1,000 foot run to the lake!

Other sledding opportunities offered include Schweitzer Mountain Resort, Cherry Hill in Coeur d’Alene (off 15th), and Pine St. Hill in Sandpoint (off West Pine St near Upland, though I’ve also been told it can be quite dangerous due to trees), Sagle Elementary in Sagle and Ruen Rd. 332 in Clark Fork were also offered as great sledding areas.

The sledding experience shown in the YouTube video “Roof Sledding in Sandpoint” is NOT recommended.

-Trish Gannon

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

The Making of Moose Drool The big cow moose looked up from the water where she was drinking—or eating from the bottom, I could not tell which— directly at me.

Since the rut was in the mountains where I hiked, I checked to make sure there wasn’t a bull I hadn’t detected.

I’m never comfortable between two lovers and when they are moose I’m less comfortable.

He wasn’t, for now, and she studied me carefully before retuning her snout to the water. When she looked up again, a lot of fresh moose drool appeared.

The day had started, for me, just before the sky over the Canadian Rockies became light. As I shed the sleeping bag, October frosty air raised goose bumps on my bare legs. The night before I made sure long johns were only a quick grab away. In a few seconds, I was in them, and then fully dressed in a few more, all but boots.

After firing the Jetboil stove to heat coffee water I pulled on my boots to go out and deal with another early morning detail.

The SUV is a good little camper for one person and, on this morning, I took full advantage of one important feature —the heater. By the time the engine was running and the heater turned on, the coffee water was hot. It was time for a good day to begin.

I was “road hunting” with my camera and being self-contained in the car made breaking camp easy. A little granola, a travel cup full of java and I began adventuring.

The day before I had experienced a “Rocky Mountain high” that still had me floating; I spent time with, and photographed, a Grizzly. Last

night I downloaded the images onto my computer, which launched the high all over again. I was excited for what this day would bring.

Driving into the Maligne Valley my hope was to see some caribou, which sometimes hang out there, but the success of the trip was not dependent on a sighting—the Spirit of the mountains took care of that.

That Spirit is easy to know in the Maligne. High, saw-tooth-shaped peaks, some with natural arches, cast early morning shadows across the canyon.

Their glacial-scraped, raw faces create an imposing east wall above the tree line.

A coyote trotted along the side of the road. I pulled up a camera for a shot out the window but it turned and only showed me his bushy tail. That has been my experience with them.

From a hill above Medicine Lake, I could see a bull moose flirting with a cow in the water. The morning light and the distance only allowed dark silhouettes of their cavorting. I stood in the chill for a half hour watching before returning to the heated car and some more coffee.

By the time I reached Maligne Lake, the sun was warming the valley floor and the Spirit of the day had me fully in its grip. I parked at a trailhead and prepared for a short hike to a small lake. A young man from Germany was already there. He asked about bears and whether he would be safe.

I said making noise is the best thing to do. He headed out while I prepared my daypack.

It had rained the day before, and as I started up the trail, I noticed several tracks of various animals, deer and moose being the most common. Each had filled with water and frozen during the night.

The trail looked muddy but was quite solid thanks to the cool morning temperatures.

Several minutes later, maybe a mile into the hike I rounded a bend on the trail in a small, dense cedar grove. There was the fellow I had seen at the trailhead. He was off the trail in the trees and hadn’t seen me. As I moved down the trail he seemed a little agitated. When he finally noticed me, his excitement nearly exploded.

“I just saw a moose! I have never seen a moose before, are we safe here?”

I assured him that if it had left we were probably okay for now, but be very aware.

I asked if it was a male or female, and he

The Hawk’s Nest

by ERNIE HAWKS said, “It didn’t have any “horns.”

I told him I thought there was a pond close and that we may see her again there.

Once there I suggested we wait quietly and see if she showed up. He hung around for a couple minutes and said he needed to get back. I said fine, make noise as you go.

I waited in the silence of the forest, all my senses alert. Scanning the area, I saw an active trail into the water on the other side.

Above the forest, I could see one of the saw-tooth peaks reflecting the morning sun. I snapped the shutter a couple times and let my focus drop back to the water.

A ring from a fish rising appeared. Some small birds, too far away to identify, flitted in brush. My gaze wandered around a bit and back to the trail into the water, and then up, again, to the peak. I looked at some more rings in the water and back to the trail. After about an hour of listening, smelling, feeling and watching I wondered if I had the patience for this either. Once again, I scanned across the trail—and there she was.

Her huge moose presence was camouflaged until she wanted me to see her. I felt her Spirit—how she aids in moving emotions to allow for awareness, how she teaches strength, wisdom and patience.

There is gentleness in that strength. It’s life awakening, and calms any fears I had. Still, I knew part of the lesson, her wisdom, was to be very conscious while not allowing trepidation to control me.

She waded in my direction, dipping her snout and looking up. Each time gallons of moose drool flowed back into the pond. I thought about the beer by that name and could not stop a smile.

Time went fast and she gave me several good poses, moving close before heading up the hill near the trail I had followed. She looked back once before her camouflage took her quietly and quickly out of sight and sound.

The trail looped back in another direction; I took it to the car. Later in the day, while passing a small store, I thought a beer sounded good, rather unusual for a cool day.

Photo by Ernie Hawks

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February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

Deadlines are Right Around the Corner for Trophy Hunts I need a little help solving a poaching case in Clark Fork. On January 28 I received a call about blood and entrails lying in the snow at the upper end of Mosquito Creek Rd near the Academy. Some time that morning some people butchered a deer and dragged the gut pile into the tree line.

Oddly enough, a candle was placed in the area where the deer was butchered and it was still burning when I arrived! Yes, we are thinking alike, very weird. The candle has been taken to our lab to be tested for fingerprints, but I would like anybody who knows about this event, or has any information that could help me solve this, to please call me directly. There is a handsome reward for anybody who wants to step up and help me close this case. You can also call the Citizens Against Poaching Hotline at 800-632-5999 and, as always, you can remain anonymous.

It’s hard to believe another hunting season is behind us and we are planning for 2012 already. I try to take these winter days to lay a road map for the upcoming year and make sure family time and work things get put on the calendar so we don’t have a train wreck down the road. I’m sure you all do the same and so I take the time here to add some hunting and fishing events to your calendar.

February 22 from 6 pm to 9 pm our Fisheries crew will be hosting the “State of the Lake” meeting at the Ponderay Event Center. Many of you have already been to a few of these over the years so you know the routine. Our Fisheries biologists will give a summary of the Angler Incentive Program and lay out the 2012 netting plans for the year. Dr. Hansen will be there as well, to give us his perspective on the kokanee recovery efforts,

rainbow trout management, and how this recovery effort on Lake Pend Oreille compares to other recovery efforts.

Every month from now until June, we have deadlines for various hunts across the state. So if you are interested in chasing some antelope around down south or pursuing a bear in one of the trophy units, get the pencil ready.

For those folks who desire to go somewhere else in the state to bear hunt (seems kind of crazy to leave this area!) the spring bear controlled hunt application period is open from January 15 to February 15. All kidding aside, there are some great bear units down south and you have a crack at some trophy bears in other units, plus you don’t have to battle the snow in most of those units.

Turkey hunters, the spring controlled hunt application runs from February 1 through March 1. If you are a diehard turkey hunter, check out the possibilities around the state. I’ve got to be honest though, I think we have more turkeys than anywhere in the state.

The most popular hunts for moose, sheep, and goats, otherwise known as the trophy species of Idaho, are open for application starting April 1 and closing April 30. It always breaks my heart when hunters call with interest in applying for trophy hunt and they are too late. Be prepared!

May 1 opens the application period for controlled hunts for deer, elk, pronghorn, and fall bear. If you are interested in hunting the depredation hunts around in the Panhandle, this is the time to apply.

Now that you have the dates down on the calendar for those critters you are interested in hunting, let me give you some tips for applying for that hunt. No, I

Matt Haag is a conservation officer with the Idaho Dept. of Fish and Game. Learn more about the department online at IDFG.gov. You can reach Matt at mhaag@idfg.idaho.gov.

don’t have a magic process for pulling that moose tag you’ve been putting in for over the last 20 years, but I do have some ideas that may help to ensure you are properly entered in the lottery system. Yes, it is a true lottery and we don’t offer points in this state.

To apply for a controlled hunt you must have a valid hunting license in Idaho and you should complete the application worksheet for your desired hunt; this will help you when you apply. Application worksheets can be found at any license vendor, Fish & Game office, or can be downloaded from our website.

When applying, enter your first and second (optional) choice controlled hunt number in the appropriate boxes. Be sure to enter the complete hunt number. All hunt numbers are four digits and DO NOT correspond to unit numbers. We’re just trying to make sure you’re paying attention here! These numbers are found in the first column (left side) of the controlled hunt tables in the seasons and rules brochure.

Be absolutely sure to enter your correct name, date of birth and hunting license number.

You can apply with family and friends as well. Two hunters may apply on the same application for turkey, spring and fall bear, moose, bighorn sheep or mountain goat and up to four hunters may apply on the same application for deer, elk or pronghorn.

Okay, I’ve bored you enough with deadlines and application details, but I hope it motivates you to put in for that hunt you’ve tried and have talked about for years. Make sure you include your kids in the process and make plans for that family hunt this fall.

Leave No Child Inside

The Game Trail

by Matt Haag

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

Grounded

I need a new meaning of an old word to describe the best of regional writing.

The best is more than authentic—it is grounded.

Grounded is a great round word. It is even fun to say: grr, emphasize rounnnd, finish it off with a sharp d, grounded. It has all sorts of definitions. When I was a kid in the ‘50s, it meant I had transgressed again, and again was confined to house. When we were building our house grounded took a different meaning; we had to hire professionals to put in our electrical system and make certain the current was safely grounded.

The 1969 American Heritage Dictionary lists as grounded’s first definition: ‘to provide a basis for argument.” Our 2007 Microsoft Word program has demoted grounded as ‘based on evidence’ to its second definition. The first definition tells us how quickly—about forty years—and interestingly our culture changes.

Grounded now means “in touch with reality, having a secure feeling of being in touch with reality and personal feelings.”

Oh my, how we have evolved.

I would like to offer another evolution, another definition for grounded: an intense awareness of one’s place in one particular environment. My grandparents—and most likely yours—were grounded in this way.

Ernest and Ruth McHenry wove their lives into the natural processes of their 80-acre eastern Kansas farm. Grandma wasn’t a novelist, but she would have been as authentic as Willa Cather.

A person grounded knows the present moon phase without thinking about it; knows the precise position of the sunrise next week; knows that the crazy laughter of coyotes is far different than a wolf’s howl. The grounded person knows compass directions; knows the history of a landscape; knows which plants grow where; knows where animals will be found.

We have a friend who collects elk sheds and year after year finds antlers from the same animal. He is a hunting guide, not an author, alas.

The novel Housekeeping by Marilyn Robinson, raised in North Idaho, exemplifies how a good story becomes a great one by being grounded in a particular, well-understood landscape. The book Legendary Lake Pend Oreille, by long-term North Idaho resident Jane Fritz, is more than a guidebook because it is connected, grounded, surrounded by the lake.

Sandy Compton, born and raised Lou Springer is “grounded” in Heron, Montana and can be reached at nox5594@blackfoot.net

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in this region, writes wonderfully and knowledgeably about northwest Montana.

His description of a track left in a dewy field as a finger moving through velvet (sorry, Sandy, I’m paraphrasing, not having the book handy) gives me a smile of recognition. He has a longer experience in this landscape than the more acclaimed Rick Bass. The longer Bass lives in northwest Montana, the better grounded he becomes and his writing gets even better. And I’ll bet he has learned it should not take 30 cords of wood to keep warm.

That Train Dreams, winner of the 2003 O Henry award, is grounded in our landscape is implied by the opening words: “In the summer of 1917 Robert Grainier took part in an attempt on the life of a Chinese laborer caught, or anyway accused of, stealing from the company stores of the Spokane International Railway in the Idaho Panhandle.” This sentence sets the time and place of this simple, powerful story. Denis Johnson is a well-known author of novels, poems, screenplays and this novella, Train Dreams.

It seems unlikely that a celebrated and financially successful author lives around here, but he must; his knowledge of North Idaho is too complete for a casual visitor.

He is grounded and it adds an authenticity to the awful beauty of this little book.

Isn’t authenticity and truth what we seek when we read?

Currents

by Lou Springer

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February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

The Downy Woodpecker: Our weest nail driver This might be stating the obvious, but different bird species exist because each can exploit an ecological niche that others can not, or at least not as effectively. That is why our area can support two different species of nuthatch and four different types of chickadees. You might see these birds flock together on occasion and even dine at the same feeder, but in the normal course of their lives they each eke out an existence in ways that other birds can not.

This ability is what generates diversity in the animal kingdom. And one of the most diverse families of birds in our own green acres of birding paradise is the woodpeckers.

If you are a regular reader of this column you’ll know that a few different species of woodpeckers have already been examined. But there are many more to go!

Interestingly, our region is woodpecker rich: from the continent’s largest—the crow-sized Pileated woodpecker—to the smallest—this month’s subject—the Downy woodpecker. The Downy is about as small as woodpeckers get, not much bigger than a house finch.

Even though it is the littlest woodpecker, the Downy is not always that easy to identify. It is almost identical in plumage to its next-size-larger cousin, the Hairy Woodpecker. In both you’ll see that the underside of the bird is totally white, from the neck to the undertail coverts— belly, breast, and thighs, all white. The topside of both birds is dominated by black, although there will be a distinctive black and white checkerboard pattern on

A Bird in Hand

the wings. The back will be black, but it will be offset in the middle by a bold white slash of varying size, depending on the individual bird. In both species the head is white and sports three black accents: a narrow cap, a bandit’s eye mask, and a long handlebar moustache. The last two seem to flow toward the back of the head where they merge together. The male of both species is differentiated from the ladies by the addition of a little red topknot on the back of the head. This little marker really stands out.

So why, then, are these two species so tough to tell apart when the Downy is the smaller of the two? Great question and I’m glad you asked it. Any experienced birder will tell you that “sizing” a bird in the field is one of the most difficult tasks to do when checking out the neighbors. Unless there is some point of reference, it is hard to get a measure on a bird’s size. Therefore, unless you know a species’ definitive field marks, you might not know if you are looking at the little Downy or the still-little-butlarger Hairy. What is a birder to do? Check out the beak. The beak will tell you.

Downy woodpeckers have itsy-bitsy beaks, almost a “you’ve got to be kidding” size for a woodpecker, even a little scrapper like this one. Hairy woodpeckers have a real chisel of a beak: big, black, and sharp—exactly what you’d expect of an animal that can bore into a tree trunk.

If the beak is obviously shorter in length than the bird’s head, it is a Downy. If the beak is about the same length as the bird’s head, it is a Hairy. One more clue: Downys

by Michael Turnlund

will have noticeable white nasal bristles where the beak meets the face; sort of like a small, out-of-control mustache. There might be a bit of a matching goatee, too.

The Hairy is clean shaven.

If you want to attract the Downy woodpecker to your backyard feeder try adding some suet to the meal selection.

Downy and Hairy woodpeckers are insectivores, but there are not a lot to be had during the winter months. Suet mimics the bugs and grubs that these little woodpeckers prefer. And if you don’t want to run to the store to buy some suet try peanut butter, but not that icky processed commercial kind you feed your kids (yuck!).

Try something a little closer to what God had in mind when he invented peanuts: Adams or some other whole-peanut brand.

And to really wow the crowds, add some seeds into the offering.

The Downy is fun to watch. Their little motors are always going and they never sit still. These are busy little birds. They can also be quite noisy; their sounds remind me of a dog’s squeaky toy.

Yup, it might be winter and all seems still, but that’s because you forgot to refill the bird feeder. Get out there and do your part to help our little feathered neighbors get through the winter. And don’t forget the suet. Some little hole-driller in the neighborhood will be mighty thankful.

Happy birding!

theturnlunds@gmail.com

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February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

Radar “Sandy Compton has written somewhere in the vicinity of 225 Scenic Routes, beginning with this one in January of 1997. For the next year, while he comes up with a few new ideas, we will be reprising some of his favorites and best. Here is “Radar,” tribute to a dog.

A book compiling 15 years of his favorite columns, Fifty-Two Weeks on the Scenic Route, to be published by Blue Creek Press (www. bluecreekpress.com) will be ready in the Fall.

Stay tuned.”

When I walked down the hill that night, I turned to wait for him, though I surely knew he wasn’t there. He’d gone ahead again, at last; rejoined the station of his youth, the lead, the front of line. His tail was once more his standard, a proud blonde question mark above his back, symbolizing the effervescent curiosity that ever drew him up the trail.

I saw him there, in both directions.

Behind, in its immediacy, was a hollow shadow; a ghost of a shambling old dog, slow, half blind and deaf; ahead ran a hundred-pound bouncing bundle of golden energy etched in bright memories, solid as

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The Scenic Route

the ages through which I will remember him.

His tired gait no longer made me wait; me, who thought I’d never have to wait for him. When the time came, though, I didn’t mind. Often enough, he waited for me to finish climbing some steep trail he trotted up with scarce a pant, or to skirt some dense and rain-soaked grove that he had pushed right through.

He waited laughing, as if to say how pleased he was to be himself and not some mere two-legged beast with silly sensibilities and a center of gravity too far off the ground For 14 years, eight months and 20 days, I was his man. He was never mine as much as I was his. There were things he would not do for me, frivolous acts of gratuitous obedience; but I knew that he would die for me if called upon, for he lived to be with me, celebrating the end of each extended separation with a joyful dance of welcome, like the prodigal’s return.

We grew up together, but he surpassed me in age while I wasn’t looking, just as he used to brush by me on the trail, impatient with my dawdling ways. He never looked back from his decline to see if I was keeping up.

Sorry, old dog, I have lagged behind, and won’t catch up for quite some time.

Go play with my father, who loved you well. Go play with my daughter, who left us early, but would have loved you as dearly as any child has, and every child who ever met you loved you at first sight.

There is a touch of new snow tonight, enough to cover the sins of the day, blanket the spot of crimson near the dog house door, where his head fell pulsing blood; enough to blot clean the trail, where I dragged him to his final rest, of any pinkish stains.

There was no hesitation in me, once I’d made up my mind. He hurt too much, he tried too hard too long and then tried not at all.

He went without a fuss, just tried to rise, looking at me in pure surprise at the coup de grace. Then stretching out, he relaxed and I held him weeping while he died.

I did not set out to write that; but to tell of better times.

SANDY COMPTON

Of how he could sit perfectly still, studying with great delight a herd of white tail on an evening hill; so attentive he would startle when they did, but never chase, never hound. He was a gentle dog.

Of how he would walk a mile for a piece of cheese, but curled up his lips at corn chips and candy.

Of how, on a frozen night with rime on the snow and a full moon in the sky, he would thunder across the echoing crust in ever widening circles, galloping with pure delight as a child might find in such a night. My mother and I once stood like steaming statues, listening to him run, watching for him to cross diamond-strewn strips between ebony bands cast by the trees at the edge of the feilds.

Of how I could still him with my hands, quiet him with a finger to my lips, then bring him rambling on with a wave of my arm, a game he loved to play.

Of how he lived in any place that I would, but like a salmon remembering the currents of his birth, he would begin to shiver at the scent of the Clark Fork, no matter how far or long he had been away from home.

Of the friends he had that I did not know; the cats he chased, but not to catch; his trademark deep and single bark, as if he knew that was all most intruders needed to be warned clear.

I see him on that last day of fishing with my father: the athlete dog, leaping log to log with careless and powerful precision; the comic dog, head under and nose full of water, looking for that creature we let back, so surprised that there was so much difference in the world below the surface.

He was nothing but a high-class mutt, no papers, no pedigree, but if I ever meet his match, I’ll be surprised and pleased.

I miss him now and I’ll miss him again.

I will see him standing in the trail, looking back over a golden shoulder, grinning and egging me on. “C’mon, you man. There’s more to see. Let’s go. We ain’t got all day.”

But now, we do, or at least he does, but I am just a short eternity away.

mrcomptonjr@hotmail.com

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page

February in the Garden

A cover of snow on the ground—even if it’s not a lot of snow—has brought area gardeners back to a typical February state of mind—the plan.

February is traditionally the month for settling on and buying the seeds you plan to plant—soon in the case of those you will raise indoors, later for most of those you’ll direct seed into your garden. Check out your local, favorite garden sources and you’ll see that most are announcing that seeds have arrived!

Of course, you won’t know what seeds to buy if you don’t know what food you intend to grow this year, so planning is a must. This is not limited to the types of fruits, vegetables, herbs and flowers you want, but includes the particular varieties as well, along with the amount you’ll need to plant.

That amount, of course, is determined by the amount of actual food you plan to eat/put away. But how do you get from “I need enough tomatoes for 20 gallons of sauces plus all I want to eat” (don’t laugh) to “I need to plant at least 30 Roma tomato plants?”

A good place to start is here (http:// tinyurl.com/6qpx2c5), an offering from About.com via their gardening section called “How Much to Plant Per Person in the Vegetable Garden.”

Part of your planning will also involve the nuts-and-bolts of your garden as well—the “physical plant” so to speak. And an intriguing concept to consider is the hugelkultur bed. (Here’s a good, introductory site: richsoil.com/ hugelkultur/) The hugelkultur is a raised garden bed built atop a pile of rotted lumber that, done properly and over time, can not only eliminate the need for fertilizer in your beds, but also eliminate the need for extra watering. Seriously!

A friend of mine who lives up Elmira way wants to put a garden in but he lives on a hilly, heavily forested piece of land.

He does have a sunny, southern exposure meadow that would be a perfect garden spot, if it just wasn’t so far away from the house’s water supply that getting water to it would cost a fortune—either in cash to run water lines to it, or time and energy to haul water there manually. Hugelkultur to the rescue!

While the snow replenishes our soil and readies it for spring, pull out your pencils, plan your garden, and go pick out your seeds!

Perspective

The world is a very harsh place. Just today I read that since the people of Egypt deposed Mr. Mubarak things have not gotten better as they had hoped. Yemen is facing a crisis in the absence of a strong leader and Brazil is soon to become the cocaine production capital of the world.

Israel is thinking of attacking Iran.

The list of crises goes on and a terrible list it is. However, perspective changes everything. When I was a kid I did not know much beyond the realm of Sandpoint. I grew older and one day came to understand that China was not, in fact, on the back side of Baldy Mountain. This was when my perspective of distance began to change. My perspective on social issues began to change in college and family issue interpretation took on a whole new dimension when I got married.

Holy cow!

In college they constantly talked about something referred to as “(our) frame of reference.” It is that upbringing you and I have which determines how we perceive everything—music, art, customs of other people groups, churches, the government—everything. It is the yardstick we personally use to measure, to grade, to value everything else by. It is usually self based and can get us a good verbal thrashing should we at some point offer up an ignorant observation. As time goes on the question becomes: do we keep our frame of reference constant or do we trade it in for a little more mature perspective?

I knew from reading the Bible that God’s perspective of people and circumstances was opposed my own—it wasn’t based on

me. I wanted to grow in my relationship with God and to do that I understood that my viewpoint had to change.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him will not die but have everlasting life.” Jesus also tells us that to know Him is to have everlasting life. This is important because if we believe it, it changes our perspective on everything. If I understand that God loved (people) so much that He would die for them to save them and open up a way to have relationship with them, then they must be very important to Him. I continued reading what the Bible had to say about God’s character and I discovered that if I love God I will also love the thing he loves—people. My love for them comes from Him and is reflected back to Him bringing Glory to His name—the thing He values most. My consideration of His creation in the light of His perspective frees me to ignore circumstances and see the human being within. Awesome!

The world is a harsh place. It is full of people doing bad things and God loves every single one of them. I cannot change circumstances. That is God’s realm. But I can change my perspective within them to match His: love the people. Take care of them and make sure they know that God loves them and seeks relationship with them. This is a good frame of reference to have in a dark world.

Have you allowed God to change your perspective? He loves you and awaits your invitation.

Kathy’s Faith Walk

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Think you might have spotted an awful lot of SNOWY OWLs this winter?

You might be right: birders are reporting a mass, southern migration of snowy owls that some have describe as “unbelievable.”

Dennis Holt, who heads up the Owl Research Institute in Montana, describes it as “the most significant wildlife event in decades.”

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 10

Living in a Time of Myth Have you ever read “The Epic of Gilgamesh?” Most people are introduced to the poem at some point in school because, for now at least, it is mankind’s oldest known written story. Scratched (or impressed) into malleable clay at least 3,000 years ago, this tale from the dawn of civilization (Gilgamesh was the ruler of Uruk in Mesopotamia around 2700 B.C.E.—almost five thousand years ago!) is remarkable not just for its age and place in history, but because it paints for us a clear picture of a people who are not so very different from the people we are today.

In the story, Gilgamesh (whom historians believe was a real, flesh-andblood ruler, listed as the fifth king of Uruk in the Sumerian king list) is depicted mythically, as “two-thirds god, onethird human.” He has prophetic dreams, overcomes a great demon, travels to the underworld, obtains and then loses immortality, and speaks with Utnapishtim (an earlier version of the character of Noah).

That we no longer see our rulers as part god does not mean we mythologize them any less, a point that’s clear with even a cursory look at the current presidential debates. To listen to the crop of people hoping to snag the ring as the Republican candidate, or to listen to those who support our current president (regardless of whether they are disappointed in his performance or not), an American president is half god in all but name. Listen

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to what the candidates say they will do.

Listen to what Obama is castigated for not doing. And try to remember that most of these things, if not all of them, are powers not given under our constitution to the President of the United States.

Gil Beyer expands on this civics lesson in his column this issue (see “Nothing Done” on page 25), so let me offer just a brief reminder here: Congress drafts law; the President enforces the laws Congress drafts or can attempt to veto those laws; the judicial branch reviews those laws to determine if they fit within the framework of our constitution.

Therefore, if you want something done, or something changed, both the responsibility and the authority for that lies with the U.S. Congress. Yet somehow, we don’t mythologize our Congressional figures, and if I had to venture a guess, I would say that’s because it’s just too hard to narrow that many people down to fit as one entity in a mythological framework.

Much easier to focus on our president, even if by so doing we have completely removed ourselves from the reality of the system we live under.

I googled the question of why we create myths and, quite appropriately, got a myriad of answers in return. (Did you know that a googal—pronounced the same as Google—is the number one followed by 100 zeroes?)

Our propensity for myth-making is explained as an attempt to understand our world, a way to establish continuity and stability in a culture, and as a way to create role models and standards for living. These are all probably true, but at its heart I think we mythologize as an attempt to explain what we have no explanation for—either because it’s literally unexplainable, or because it’s so complex we have difficulty in understanding.

I was reminded of Gilgamesh a couple of weeks ago when I got a phone call from a reader up in Bonners Ferry whose purpose in calling was to harangue me about something one of our writers had said back in 2009. For forty minutes I listened as he spewed venom, mostly about wolves, the Endangered Species Act, forest commissioners and the like and at the end, I scribbled a note into my calendar that our local Fish and Game warden, Matt

Politically Incorrect

Haag, owes me a beer.

All jokes aside (well, Matt does still owe me a beer), it was clear within a minute into this phone call that my caller was angry and within five minutes it was apparent he was very angry. At six minutes, it was palpable that his anger (like all anger) is driven by fear.

There is a lot of anger out there right now, driven by a lot of fear. We know beyond all doubt that things are just not right and while we don’t know why, we all have things we dislike that make perfectly good scapegoats. We all have our myths.

But while it may be human to create stories for the things we don’t fully understand, I’m not sure that right now, in the year 2012 C.E., it’s beneficial.

I think most who read these words will agree that the American empire is on a downward trajectory, even if most of us will disagree on the reasons why that is so. The lure of myth in this situation is also our downfall—because myth-making takes power out of our own hands and places it firmly some place else. When people hide within myth, and that myth begins to fail, they are so accustomed to unreality that the only path they seem to see is one that leads to a new and different myth. And then things can get ugly.

These are myths that tell us one person, if he or she could just get elected, or had the ability to wrest away the reins of power, will be our salvation, or that true power can be found when my finger rests on a trigger—which is the same power, by the way, that certain dispossessed Saudis found behind the controls of a highjacked aircraft.

Near the end of the Roman Empire, life had become so difficult for the average Roman that when the Goths appeared on their doorstep, they were welcomed with open arms. “Anything,” thought these Romans, “must be better than this.” As written by the priest Salvian around 440 C.E. (yes, I had to look the date up), “... yet they would rather endure a foreign civilization among the barbarians than cruel injustice among the Romans.” And thus began the Dark Ages.

History may not exactly repeat itself, but it does seem to follow certain themes, as if all of mankind’s experience is a musical production where the melody is repeated over and over, each time in a different key.

by TRISH GANNON • TRISH@RIVERJOURNAL.COM

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 11

Otter’s Budget Recommendations The second legislative session of the sixty-first Idaho legislature convened on January 9 and the major event of the day was the State of the State presentation and budget recommendations presented to the full legislature by Idaho Governor Otter.

The Governor presented a cautiously optimistic view of the state’s economic condition which was reinforced in his budget recommendations. The Governor based his budget recommendations on a Fiscal Year (FY-13) General Fund revenue forecast of $2,700,260,000, an increase of 5.8 percent over the current year; however, he capped his spending recommendations based on a conservative 5 percent increase over the present year.

Governor Otter emphasized that his top priorities for FY-13 were in the area of jobs and education. Five priorities were outlined by the Governor in supporting these top goals. These priorities are: • Education: The Governor is asking for $31.7 million to fund the “Students Come First” technology and “Pay for Performance” elements in the school reform legislation that was passed last session. This represents a 2.6 percent increase in K-12 support. He is also asking for an increase of $16.9 million (8.1 percent) for our colleges and universities and an increase of $4.4 million (19 percent) for our community colleges.

• Economy: The Governor is asking for $5 million to create a new entity identified as the Global Entrepreneurial Mission. The IGEM is a research initiative that will utilize the capabilities of our universities and

private enterprise working in partnership to develop new industry opportunities in Idaho.

• Replenishment of Reserves: Over the last two years we have used up almost all of our reserve accounts to minimize the need for cuts in spending. The Governor is asking that we place $26 million in the Budget Stabilization Account, $29 million in the public education stabilization account and $4.9 million in the higher education stabilization fund to replenish these reserves in the event of adverse economic conditions.

• Employee raises: The Governor is requesting an additional $41 million for state government employees and public school personnel to provide a onetime salary increase of approximately 3 percent.

• Tax Relief: Governor Otter is requesting $45 million be set aside for taxrelief with the legislature proposing tax relief legislation based on the $45 million amount. He is also asking that the grocery tax credit be continued , including a $10 dollar increase in FY-13 for each person filing a tax return.

The legislature, beginning with the Joint Finance and Appropriations Committee, will consider the Governor’s recommendation as it develops the FY-13 budget. In setting its budget recommendations JFAC will also consider whether to adopt the general fund revenue increase of 5.8 percent used by the Governor or adopt a different number to determine agency spending.

A Seat in the House

GEORGE ESKRIDGE

JFAC began holding agency hearings on January 10 in preparation for developing spending recommendations for the full legislature to consider. The agency hearings will continue until February 20, at which time the actual budget setting process will begin based on the Governor’s recommendations, the agencies’ spending requests and other information learned during the agency hearing process.

JFAC will complete its budget setting process on March 9. During this time the full legislature will consider individual agency appropriation bills developed

by JFAC and then, if approved, send the appropriation bills to the Governor for his approval. If any of the appropriation bills are not approved during the process then JFAC will have to make changes to accommodate concerns expressed when the bills weren’t approved and submit them again for approval by the full legislature and the Governor.

Developing a balanced budget for the upcoming fiscal year is the primary responsibility of the legislature during the session. However, other legislative activity in the form of new or revised legislation is also occurring during the time JFAC is preparing its budget recommendations for approval.

A summary of some of the legislation currently being considered includes: • Health Insurance Exchange: The 2010 federal health care law provides for a health care exchange that can be implemented by individual states or by the federal government if

Continued on next page

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February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 12

Which is It? What is most important, the journey or the destination? Among other things interesting about the subject is that it can be analyzed to death (in a manner of speaking). Those who are in the sermon business think that the journey is the most important aspect of life. One thing is certain, the subject is worthy of constant consideration.

On the other hand, those who are goaloriented consider the journey simply as the means to an end. You are not going to reach your destination any other way.

As often is the case there are a number of ways to view that subject. Just like a yard stick it has both a beginning and an end and the space in between.

As in most things we could belabor what constitutes beginning. Conception, birth, graduating from high school, finding that right partner, etc. The end comes in many other forms like retiring, buying an RV, becoming a member of AARP, selling the home place, joining a bowling league, taking up golf, Medicare or the assisted living home. The space in between when most of these moments occur is the journey.

What prompted these thoughts was that one of our problems today (opinion

Say What?

only) is that many people arrive at their destination or goal way too early in life. If the journey is really only a means to an end, why should the end not be truly the end?

This argument assumes there are people who have a goal in life of some sort.

I never did but that is another story. For those whose ambition peters out after they finally acquired a mortgage for the house, that is one thing. If you bought the Ivy League thinking where you divide life into five year segments with intermediate goals, life can be either a joy or one struggle after another.

It would appear that to many, a few possessions equate with success. Buying a boat, owning two personal water craft or whatever they are called, his and her chain saws or a club membership is certainly worthwhile if they appeal to you but that is not the point at which you start coasting or put the bucket down.

“When I retire” is a form of quicksand.

One friend of mine referred to the retirement of her husband as “50 percent pay and 100 percent husband.” While the pay part is understandable the sand trap looms when the thinking that generated the days of 100 percent pay ends. While

PAUL RECHNITZER

Budget- Cont’d from previous page the states decline to set up an exchange.

An Idaho exchange is likely to use an online website to publish various health insurance programs that consumers can evaluate and purchase based on the best value for that purchaser. The health care law has been challenged and is going to be heard by the Supreme Court on its constitutionality. Many Idaho legislators feel that we should not pass insurance exchange legislation until the Supreme Court renders its decision.

• Proposal to end the Personal Property Tax: Under current tax rules businesses have to report the value of almost every item they own to conduct their business and pay a tax based on that value. The tax is an unpopular one within the business community because it requires keeping records on almost all property including chairs, computers, staplers and other property, large or small. Oftentimes

not a bowler, there is one aspect of bowling —or golf for that matter—that is similar to life. They are loaded with scoring opportunities , each being a little goal in itself.

The importance of the destination idea is that it represents achievement and hopefully a measure of success. It is all those little goals that add up to a measure of satisfaction that may never have been achieved when “working for the man.” Of course, all this add up to the story of each journey through life.

So which is it? I would like to think it is neither one nor the other. Life should be an ongoing series of little goals. Maybe you would like the word objective better.

It was the military who used the term “mission.” Maybe we all need some sort of mission statement so that there really isn’t more than one inevitable day, but many days, when “well done,” “good job,” or “congratulations” are in order. Success breeds success and rarely does depression find a home in the mind of someone who has just done better than before.

No matter what your circumstance, this is something you can do without the need for any outside stimulation.

No one else can do it for you, nor can anyone else deny you the opportunity.

So which is it?

Paul Rechnitzer is a local conservative and author, and a practiced curmudgeon. You can reach him at pushhard@nctv.com

the value of the property is difficult to determine because of age and other factors, but the businesses owner still has to pay some tax amount. Because it is difficult and burdensome to comply with the tax, the Idaho Association of Commerce and Industry, with support from Chambers of Commerce and other business groups, is lobbying to eliminate the tax.

• Ethics Reform: Because recent activities of legislators in both parties have raised the concerns of other legislators and members of the public, the leadership of both the Democratic and Republican parties have agreed to work on legislation that would make legislators more accountable for actions that may not be appropriate.

• Camping ban on Occupy Boise group: A group of individuals have been camping on state property across from the Capitol for several months in support of the national Occupy Wall Street movement.

A camping ban on the group has cleared

a House Committee and is expected to pass the full House and be forwarded to the Senate for its consideration. The purpose of the bill is “not to curtail the right to protest” but instead is aimed at “keeping public property open for all and free of obstructions.” The legislation is similar to a Boise ordinance that prevents camping on city property not designated for camping use.

I will keep River Journal readers informed of the final disposition of these legislative proposals and other legislative activity as we progress through the legislative session and as always please feel free to contact me with issues of concern or input on legislation being considered during this legislative session.

My mailing address in Boise is: P.O. Box 83720, Boise, Idaho 83720-0038 and my phone number is 1-800-6260471. You can also reach me by email at geskridge(at)house.idaho.gov Thanks for reading! George

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 13

The Latest from the Bigfoot World Probably of most interest to those of us living in the Pacific Northwest is the accidental filming near Spokane of a Bigfoot “captured” on a cell phone by a group of students hiking in the woods.

Although it looks suspiciously like a man in a gorilla costume, you can judge it for yourself by simply googling Spokane River Bigfoot and a few websites should pop up.

For a lot of reasons I won’t get into here however, it screams obvious hoax.

Two new books came out recently, both available from the Sandpoint Library.

Valley of the Skookum by Sali SheppardWolford (Pine Winds Press) purports to be the true tale of a woman who feels she has a Sasquatch living in the forest near her home in Oregon. A review that said something like, “the main criticism of this book is that the covers are too far apart” would be doing this book a kindness.

Every dream of a bigfoot by her becomes a spiritual

message from the beast, every unexplained sound a bigfoot rumbling nearby, every furtive shadow half-seen in the wild is a Sasquatch. I became physically ill reading it and instead of a book one couldn’t put down it was one that was hard to pick back up.

Arch-skeptic Joe Nickell’s Tracking the Man-Beasts (Prometheus Books) is almost as bad, but not quite. While ostensibly about Sasquatch he lumps them together with werewolves, vampires, mermaids and little green men. Why waste three quarters of a book arguing against the reality of vampires and werewolves, for instance, when, let’s face it, no one in the world thinks these beings are real!

Now, of real interest to me and other interested researchers are persistent Internet rumors that a group of unnamed scientists have been tracking a family of migratory Sasquatches somewhere in Canada and have obtained DNA and other evidence which is being evaluated by major journals. A DNA Lab run by Dr.

Melba Ketchum has confirmed most of these rumors (citing “fantastic” DNA results), though some of the Internet chatter insists the samples were taken from a dead specimen shot by a hunter (a more plausible explanation since the earliest Internet discussions took place on several specialized taxidermy websites).

Finally, the show Finding Bigfoot is kind of so-so, though it’s the Animal Planet channel’s number one rated program. I’ve glanced at a few shows and the only one that held my interest was one that showed dash-cam footage from a Georgia Highway Patrol car patrolling through a stretch of deserted rural highway. Suddenly a huge dark form is caught by the headlights as it lumbers across the highway on two legs, swinging its long, hairy arms. It lasts only a few brief seconds before it disappears into the woods. (A ride-along civilian in the shotgun seat, along with the officer, also witnessed it.)

Well, that’s it for this month. You can find more about most of these subjects on the websites bigfootevidence.com or cryptomundo.com. ‘til next time, All Homage to Xena!

FROM THE FILES OF THE RIVER JOURNAL’S

From Beyond

ThE

Surrealist Research Bureau Valley of Shadows

The House that Breathed “Of any misery in the sound of the wind, the breath of time as it hurries the season to repast.” -Wallace Stevens

I was planning a story about the failed Boulder City mining ghost town east of Bonners Ferry this month, but will save that one for later. Instead, this month and for the next two columns, I am temporarily venturing outside of the Valley and into the Spokane area.

A relative, a cousin of mine, became a house flipper a number of years ago and has become quite successful at it. He did seven houses last year and averages half a dozen annually. During the time he has been in this business, the jobs have been uneventful for the most part. However, not all the houses he renovated have cooperated.

This first venture beyond the Valley is about an early 1940s-era house in an older residential section of North Spokane.

While the address and street will go

unnamed, it is a couple miles south of Holy Family hospital and about a half mile east of Division.

The house in question is a modest, two-bedroom structure built with the sensibilities of the first half of the 20th century. The rooms are all of modest size.

The heat is furnished now by oil in the full basement, but was formerly a coal-fired furnace. That basement is accessed off the kitchen via a hair-raising, narrow, steep set of stairs that descend into darkness with only the light from the kitchen until you hit the small landing halfway down where the light switch is, before you continue further down.

Lit by a few 60 watt bulbs, the basement is a hodgepodge of tools from another era, trunks and many miscellaneous mementos from decades ago.

My cousin usually worked alone, though often sought the help of his father for some carpentry work and would occasionally hire a freelancer for odd jobs

by Jody Forest

like cleaning up properties that still had a lot of crap in them.

My cousin’s first full day was devoted to surveying the house and seeing what needed to be done, as well as making a list of the supplies necessary.

It was a windy March day and while there were more and more daylight hours, a high overcast kept the light level low and moody.

After taking in the living room/dining area, he moved to the kitchen and that is where the first odd thing happened. He heard a scraping sound come from the pantry at the north end of the kitchen adjacent to the stairs leading down to the basement. At first he thought it might be something outside, but it had sounded like it was right behind him. Looking around he dismissed it and continued taking notes. That was when a sound that seemed to be someone breathing hard or with difficulty started.

It hadn’t sounded as if it had come from outside, but was the labored breathing of a human fighting for air. Quickly going into the living room, the sound stopped, and the house became silent except for the wind outside.

The house was not that large and it

Continued on next page

Page 14 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| February 2012

Valley Cont’d from previous page

took only another ten minutes to list what was needed in the kitchen, the two bedrooms and the old fashioned bath where a new tub, new sink and cabinets would be necessary. These, along with new amenities such as painting, and perhaps some paneling, were a given.

Nothing else unusual happened and my cousin left, having been there only half an hour. Never having thought to research the history of a house he bought and resold, my cousin still w a s n ’ t going to

go to the trouble. He was very practical minded and just didn’t have the time.

Returning a few days later with his father, they began ripping out some of the old cabinets, the tub and bathroom sink. While taking a break for lunch, the younger man told his father about what he had heard two days earlier. As they headed out to their SUV, my older cousin noticed a neighbor coming home with her groceries and decided to ask the woman if she knew anything about the house they were renovating.

The neighbor’s answer was enlightening. She told them that an older man had lived in the house for all of the twenty years she and her family had been

by LAWRENCE FURY• fury_larry@yahoo.com

7B Skis move into the market.

Sandpoint skier Dave Marx’s handmade skis are getting exposure in a couple of local venues this winter. 7B Skis, built for powder both inbounds and out-ofbounds, are now available at the Outdoor Experience in downtown Sandpoint as well as at The Source in Schweitzer Village. Demo boards are waiting at the Source, also. Marx began building skis in his Carr Creek home last season. 7B Skis, as well as more information about models and options, are also available online at www.7bskis.com

from beyond

here until dying a couple of years earlier of complications from asthma.

My cousins looked at one another.

Now, they were not any more into ghosts, hauntings or the unexplained than the average person who perhaps watches “Ghost Hunters,� but that would explain what my younger cousin had heard.

The renovations of the house took a few weeks and were done by Easter with the usual tidy profit made. Neither cousin heard anything else out of the ordinary.

Perhaps the former owner merely wanted to check up one last time on the house he had spent his final years in.

Next time: “The House of Seven Screams.�

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SandpointWinterCarnival.com 17 Winter Carnival Downtown Rail Jam and Bioluminesce Show 17 Molly & Tenbrooks in concert, DiLunas. 208-263-0846 18 Winter Carnival’s Polar Plunge and Skijoring Competition 18 LeRoy Bell and His Only Friends, 8 pm, Panida Theater 208-263-9191 19 Winter Carnival’s Ski Joring Competition 22 KPND Ski and Board Party Trinity at City Beach. 208-255-7558 23 Taste of Sandpoint, SandpointChamber.org 23-25 Oscar-Nominated Shorts, Panida Theater 208-263-9191 24 The Terrible Buttons, plus Cedar & Boyer with Holly McGarry, Eichardts 7:30 pm 24-25 Outrageous Air Show, Schweitzer 25 SHS Grad Night Auction, Sandpoint Events Center 290-2600 26 Winter Carnival’s K9 Keg Pull

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2-3 and 8-9 The Follies. Must be 21 or over to attend! Get tickets at SandpointOnline.com.

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Tuesdays with Mike, Trinity at City Beach, 5 to 8 pm.

Sunday Open Mic, 6:30 to 10 pm every Sunday at the Long Bridge Grill.

Bingo Night: hosted by The Loading Dock, every Thursday, 5-8 pm.

Sandpoint Swing Tuesdays at 6:30 pm, $3. Bongo Brew/Earth Rhythms Cafe 208-610-8587

Page 16 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| February 2012

and

ing ater the d to n as ake ues

ore vey ater heir

Nothing Done for Veterans - or anyone else Sometimes it is better to have some distance from a problem so as to get a better perspective. Other times it just doesn’t make a damned bit of difference how far or near one is—it remains a problem. Take the 112th Congress for example. I’m looking at them from the southeastern part of Mexico and my perspective hasn’t changed at all.

This Congress first convened in January 2011 and in the intervening 13 months has done less to better the lot of the average American than any other Congress in living memory. Is it any wonder that their approval rating is in the single digits?

Let’s take a look at just the month of December. I’m sure that almost everyone knows unemployment is high; the economy is sluggish; foreclosures remain high and we have seen increases in the cost of gasoline. What has Congress done about any of these problems? Well, in my opinion, nada, zip, zilch. In fact, they seem to have exacerbated our problems. In the month of December a grand total of seven bills passed both the Senate and the House and became laws. Granted it was the holiday season. But seven bills that made it into law of the hundreds that had been submitted... really?

Obviously, those that made it into law must have been essential for the good of the country, right? Not in the least.

Three of these bills dealt with land swaps between the federal government and state or county governments. Two of these laws dealt with changes to the federal charters of the American Legion and Blue Star Mothers. One law allowed the United States Post Office to raise fees to fund additional research into breast cancer.

And last but not least, a modification was Council website at tristatecouncil.org.

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Veterans’ News

made to the way in which bonds issued by a joint commission in Missouri and Illinois attained maturity. Now, I’m sure that all of these bills probably served good and valid purposes but I think it is a true measure of just how dysfunctional this Congress is if this is the best they can do.

The GOP-controlled House came in on a ‘Tea Party’ wave in 2011 to get the federal government off the people’s back. What have they done in the past 13 months? They have done nothing that even resembles the rhetoric they rode in on. Instead they have concentrated on trying to de-fund Planned Parenthood, National Public Radio and television; define marriage and limit who you can love; and, limit your access to the voting booth. Where have they done anything to get “government” out of our daily lives? I think that they have actually added to governmental intrusion into our daily lives. What right does the federal government have to dictate personal choices? Family matters are just that— family matters and neither the state nor the federal governments have any right to tell us what is ‘right’ for us to choose.

I don’t want to place all the blame on the House of Representatives—there is plenty of blame to go around for the Senate too. Thanks to the arcane rules in that ‘Old Boys Club,’ all it takes to bring that august body to a shuddering halt is for one senator to ‘suggest’ that he—or she—may consider a filibuster of any piece of legislation that they take umbrage with.

What we have here, folks, is a complete failure of governance. The House passes stuff (I didn’t use the word that I wanted to here as this is a family publication) they know full well will never get through the Senate. The Senate is prevented from passing anything meaningful at all because of the filibuster threat and the leadership of the GOP in both houses has the gall to blame the President for a lack of ‘leadership’. You’ve got to be kidding me!

How can the President possibly be blamed for the complete gridlock in the body that is charged in the U. S. Constitution with creating the laws that govern this nation? Anyone who has even a passing knowledge of the Constitution should know this. Yet, all of those currently running to be the GOP nominee for President in November tries to blame the sitting President for this morass.

GIL BEYER

The hypocrisy of these charges simply astounds me. If one takes a close look at these posers it becomes obvious that they have no foundation to their arguments.

The President is charged with enforcing the laws passed by the Congress. He has very limited input into the content or context of those laws. He can suggest programs and plans but has no authority to enact any laws. Granted, he has limited authority to enact Executive Orders, but they are limited to what is allowed in laws already passed by Congress. If he doesn’t like what they pass he can veto these bills but the Congress can override his veto with a majority vote of both houses.

I didn’t intend for this article to be a civics lesson but it appears that this is another subject not being taught anymore.

Due, I feel, to the long-range plan that has been going on for over thirty years to dumb down the electorate and turning the average voter into a lamb being lead to slaughter.

I tried to find something that dealt with veterans issues but due to the shear paucity of any legislative action of any kind I failed in my search. Maybe when they are on the campaign trail our legislators may actually address some of the things that really need to be dealt with. We have thousands of young men and woman returning from Iraq and Afghanistan that will be looking for employment very soon.

They’ll want to return to their normal civilian lives and reintegrate back into society. What will our legislators do to make this an easy transition? My guess: they’ll do what they’ve been doing since they took office in January 2011—nothing.

We have real problems and we need real dialogue and action. We need to let our elected representatives know that we are unhappy with the status quo. Don’t let our representatives get away with their usual lies and empty rhetoric. Take them to task and tell them to get back to the real work of governance. That’s what they are being paid (very, very well I might add) to do. I don’t believe that they have been really earning those wages.

So, until next month Amigos, let’s keep hoping that our elected officials start to actually begin to govern instead of making political points with meaningless posturing.

Gil Beyer, ETC USN Ret. can be reached at vintage40@frontier.com

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 17

•

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Melvin R. “Bud” HANSON April 5, 1924– January 15, 2012

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Remember China? The people who loaned us all that money? China’s oil consumption is around 6.5 billion barrels a year, and is growing at 7 percent every year. It produces about 3.6 billion barrels every year. Does this math look good to anyone? Can anyone other than Sarah PalinMain and &George believe SecondBush • Clark Forkwe can drill our way out of this problem? Anyone Sunday School............9:45 am who doesn’t think we better hit the ground Morning running to Worship............11 figure out how to fuelam what we Evening Service...............6 pm than want fueled with something other oil probably deserves to go back Wednesday Service.........7 pmto an

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forever, but you’ll quit reading. So one final discussion for the American public. First, let’s have a true, independent analysis of what happened on September 11, 2001.

The official explanation simply doesn’t hold water. This is one of those “who knew what, when” questions that must be answered—and people/institutions must

The Scotchman Peaks Keep ‘em wild.

Speaking of accountability, you might be surprised to learn that I would not support an effort to impeach President Bush after the November elections. First, because that’s too late, and second, because more than Bush have been involved in crimes against the American people. What I would like to see are charges (at the least, charges of treason) brought against Bush, Cheney, et al. Bring the charges and let’s let the evidence of

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Page 18 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| February 2012

Snow is not my Friend My life is mostly one learning experience after another. Sometimes it takes me several tries, but eventually I learn—except for the whole concept of snow, ice, and the ability to walk on or in it.

It would seem snow has a weird gravitational pull on my kiester. I have only been back to Clark Fork for two months, and there hasn’t been much snow. I admit, I was loving the lack of the white powdery and slick stuff! I was worried that when the snow finally arrived it would stay until August, but I was enjoying the weather snow-ice-free.

That is, until the news informed me the snow was not only coming, but was settling in to stay awhile. This was made evident to me one morning as I was exiting the door to the RV. I use the word “exiting” loosely here.

I step backwards out onto the stairs of the RV and step down gingerly, so I can hold on with a death grip to avoid the whole nose dive. I feel like I need one of those beepers attached to my tush to indicate I am in reverse!

While my feet knew they were supposed to be under me, the snow had other things in mind. It had settled on the stairs, camouflaging the ice hiding beneath it. I should have known this though. I mean, there was snow on the ground, it was slowly falling from the sky, and it was freezing outside! Those things all add up to one thing for me… butt plant! Naturally, I had my first fall of the season.

I don’t fall gracefully. It’s not a long way to the ground from the stairs, just far enough for me to bang my rump on the wooden beams of the carport we are parked next to.

Can you say splinters? Thankfully, the only one to see me was my husband, Brad, who

was hiding his laughter behind his hand as he said, “Are you okay?” Well, I am certainly not okay. I just fell out of my house and I feel like I have a piece of a cactus imbedded in my not-so-private end! I am pretty sure I glared at him, at least until I realized I wasn’t going to die from embarrassment and then I may have giggled a little bit, but only a little bit.

I recall a time not long ago, walking towards Trish’s house, waving to my friend standing on her porch. My wave paired with my verbal greeting must have thrown my steps off (at that time I wasn’t aware that snow has its own personality and has a serious vendetta against me). My feet flew into the air, and I landed on my butt and head. My derriere was painfully aware that while there was snow on the ground, it was definitely not deep enough to pad my fall!

All the while, my friend, Trish, was hysterically laughing at me from the porch!

She didn’t offer to help me up, no, she couldn’t catch her breath long enough for that. As I practically crawled up her porch, seeing stars the whole way, then and only then did she ask me how I was! How I was?

I felt like a member of the Three Stooges!

My pride was so bruised it would take years for it to recover. The bruises inflicted on my rear end would be there for weeks!

Lest you think that fall was a singular incident, I also remember rushing to an employee Christmas party at the Cabinet Mountain Bar and Grill, and a fall that found me almost beneath my car while trying to finagle my way into the driver’s seat. I was trying to get my gift for my friend, Karen, who was waiting at the Cabinet, where the

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festivities were about ready to begin. My car was low to the ground and no one was home with me as I fell in my driveway. I would have been stuck there for a while if I had gone under the car any further. I had no cell phone; not that it would have mattered, my purse was already in the car! My feet went one way and my body went the other!

I managed to wiggle and shimmy my way out from under the door, only to discover I had to slip and slide on my knees before I could stand up beside the car. I had to change my clothes as the snow had found its way to every crevice I possessed and was slowly freezing me. It was like having a blizzard in my under pants! Then I had to make it back out to the car, praying the whole way there would not be a repeat performance!

I managed to make it to the party, but before opening my present I had to tell Karen of my traumatic fall, in case the gift had been destroyed. She laughed too, and proceeded to tell everyone else who, again, laughed. Apparently my falling is of great amusement to my friends.

After that Banjo and Stacey bought me some metal “tracks” that go over your shoes, providing traction while walking in that deceitful, white precipitation. I lost my first pair in the snow the first time I tried them out and couldn’t find them until spring. The second pair I wore a few times; unfortunately they me feel like I had some kind of growth on the bottom of my feet. I couldn’t lift my feet right and tripped every time I tried. I felt like I was walking on skis!

Well, I felt like that’s what it would feel like if I was ever brave enough to put myself on skis. I am clumsy all by myself, trying to ski might literally kill me I believe.

If I can make it inside the car, I can drive like a champ in the snow; I am not too distressed at the idea of driving in winter conditions. Dale Earnhardt, move over!

(Okay, maybe not.) That is because I refuse to drive too fast and I start braking a mile before I need too. Yes, I am that annoying woman driver in front of you with my blinker on two miles after I turn. But I am a safe driver and I have never had a wreck.

(You can’t see me, but this is where I am frantically knocking on wood!).

I know some people are totally ecstatic to see snow. I agree it is pretty, all fluffy and white and it can make even the messiest of yards look pristine. Plus, you can make yummy snowcream. The deadly combination of snow and walking, for me, is the reason for the term “DEAD of winter!”

Someday I will learn to walk upright in the snow. Until that time, snow is not my friend!

by JINX BESHEARS

February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 19

It seems I’m the old fart I used to make fun of, tutored from the start by the ol’ man I’m the son of, for it’s a common fate due to a natural trait; of patience we’ve had little to none of.

I’ve gotta keep movin’, that’s all there is to it.

My back’s been a mess since the day that I blew it.

But the right exercise, I’ve come to surmise, is never gonna quite redo it.

I’ve had my own era of ‘Go fast or go home!’ by yellin’ at slowpokes, “Hey, when in Rome!”

But I’ve had enough close calls to tighten my own balls and now I drive more like a gnome.

I’ve little chance left to make a good showing and one of them certainly won’t entail slowing, but unless I make changes to my physical ranges I’m bound to hear something else blowing!

I’ve gotten to where when I’m walkin’ on ice because gravity sucks, it makes me think twice.

So I plant every footfall like it might be my end-all if I don’t somehow get it precise.

So I work on my posture and stretch all my muscles while working out some of life’s little tussles.

I can’t give up now, I still have to buy chow and keep up with the hustles and bustles.

What is it about fear that makes us feel older and pine for the days we were a hell of a lot bolder.

But now that I’m sixty, most everything seems risky, leaving my ego to sit here and smolder.

I ain’t lackin’ devotion, just range and some motions that I can augment with lotions and potions.

Though what’d probly be best in this physical quest is to rebuild my muscular erosions.

I used to party on weekends and sometimes in the middle and heal up quick ‘cause I weren’t so dern brittle but lately it seems I can’t even handle my dreams without havin’ to get up to go piddle.

But is that even possible, let alone likely by workin’ out mornin’, noon and almost nightly?

Leaving so little room to fully exhume the pride I was holding so tightly.

And speakin’ of sleep, it seems I’m never replete ‘cause my back wakes up screaming for heat.

But that doesn’t matter for my bladder grows sadder and soon gets me up on my feet.

The solution, as I see it, is to just stay inspired and not let this get me down where I’m mentally mired.

But learn some new tricks that I can stir into the old mix ‘till my workin’ days have all transpired.

From my gluteus groups that’re pitchin’ a fit all the way to my traps in a sympathy snit, my back wants to quit but I can’t let it forget that without it I’m suckin’ hind tit!

Scott Clawson

acresnpains@dishmail.net

Page 20 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| February 2012

The Truth About the End of the World Well, Winter finely came yesterday. It didn’t stay, as it was just passing through and was last seen on a buffalo’s butt in Wolf Point, Montana.

We, on the other hand, got a dusting of about an inch or so.

Just enough to entice ten or twelve head of mountain camels to come in and munch on our hay stacks.

I am writing this article early in the month because the Mayan calendar claims the world is coming to an end this year, and I don’t want to miss it. Actually, I’ve been told by our Republican front runners that it will just be a polar switch. That’s why Mitt Romney is hanging on to his Mexican heritage, as he is planning on moving the White House a hundred and fifty miles south of the Mexican border when he becomes president. Besides, the Mexicans know how to work with adobe and the new white house will take on the look of the Alamo.

Everything east of the Mississippi will fall into the ocean and will become another Atlantis. The west coast will become another Disney Water Park as only the highest of the high buildings will appear above the water, like the tower in Seattle. Idaho will become another Arizona and after all the dead timber is cut off we can raise gardens everywhere and the snow birds won’t even have to leave home. Lake Pend Oreille will overflow into the Coeur d’Alene, taking out the city and leaving another national park with lost submarines to explore.

The Spokane River will reach the height of the clock tower,

From the Mouth of the River

and the surviving realtors will have oceanfront property for sale. Everyone will have plenty of work to do on clean up and construction of new homes and hauling dead bodies to Yellowstone and Glacier Park for the bears to clean up. All of Congress will be washed out to sea and all their off shore money will be returned to pay for the new Mexican White House.

Record books will be rewritten on sharks when caught just off shore, high centered and beached with their stomachs blotted with Congressmen. All the nuclear and hazardous waste shipped out of Houston and Galveston on oil tankers after unloading their oil, will wash back up and destroy the Gulf Coast.

The bankers and money hogs stuck in the tops of their high rises in New York City will be willing to pay whatever it costs to get the street people to save them, or at least replenish their vending machines. Independence Day will have a new date and I can’t wait to see whose birthday it falls on.

Boots

BOOTS REYNOLDS 10th anniversary

DOUBLE DOWN ON THE FUN!

Two weekends, two different shows!

FRI-SAT MARCH 2-3 FRI-SAT MARCH 9-10

At Sandpoint’s Panida Theater, 8 pm (doors open 7 pm)

Tickets $25 each

available at Petal Talk, Eichardt’s Eve’s Leaves and SandpointOnline.com

An incorrect variety show rated “R” for Risky, Racy and Ridiculous! MUST BE 21 OR OVER TO ATTEND!

It’s more fun than a person should be allowed to have, and the major fundraiser for the Angels Over Sandpoint February 2012| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 21 No. 2| Page 21

sandpoint

Winter Carnival 2012 February 17 - 26

Friday, February 24

Friday, February 17

Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint Kick Off

SCHWEITZER:

7-9pm : Rail Jam

6pm: Outrageous Air Show

4pm: Ski Joring Registration Party at Laughing Dog Brewery

3-7pm: Night Skiing

5:30pm: Bio-Luminesce Firedancers at Pend Oreille Winery

4 & 5:30pm: Tubing Sessions

SCHWEITZER:

3-7pm: Night Skiing

Saturday, February 25

4 & 5:30pm: Tubing Sessions

Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

10am: Family Fun Day at Evans Brothers Coffee

Saturday, February 18

SCHWEITZER:

Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

3-7pm: Night Skiing

Noon: Ski Joring at Bonner County Fairgrounds

5pm: Outrageous Air Show

5pm: BBQ Dinner & Country Hoe-Down at Trinity at City Beach

1pm, 2:30, 4 & 5:30pm: Tubing Sessions...and more

Live music at 7:00pm

8pm: KPND LeRoy Bell and His Only Friends concert, Panida Theater

Sunday, February 26 Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

SCHWEITZER:

10am: K9 Keg Pull at Eichardts

3-7pm: Night Skiing...and more.

SCHWEITZER:

Sunday, February 19 Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

11:30am, 1 & 2:30pm: Tubing Sessions...and more.

10-11:30am: Starbucks and Spud’s American Idol—Doggy Style, Pet Look-Alike Contest Noon: Ski Joring at Bonner County Fairgrounds

5- 8pm: Ski and Snowboard films & kids crafts at Cedar Street Bridge

10am-Close: Annual Feb. 19 (2/19) Party at The 219 Bar & Lounge - Sandpoint SCHWEITZER:

1pm: Snow Volleyball Game in the Village 3-7pm: Night Skiing

5pm: Wii Dance Tournament for a Nintendo DS...and more.

Monday, February 20 (President’s Day) Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day SCHWEITZER:

11:30am, 1pm & 2:30pm: Tubing Sessions

Tuesday, February 21 All Day: Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day: Dine-Around-Sandpoint

5pm: Mardi Gras at Trinity at City Beach Live music at 7:00pm SCHWEITZER:

6pm: Parent Night Out (Kids activities)

6pm: Parent Night Out (Adult wine tasting event at Gourmandie)

Wednesday, February 22 Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day

5pm: KPND Ski & Board Party with Laughing Dog at Trinity at City Beach SCHWEITZER:

5:30-7:30pm: Family Tubing Party 11:30am & 1pm: Tubing Sessions

3-7pm: Winter Fun Pass (night ski, tubing, and one run on zipline $25)

Thursday, February 23 Dine-Around & Shop-Around-Sandpoint All Day 5-8pm: Taste of Sandpoint at Sandpoint Events Center

Full Winter Carnival Schedule at www.SandpointWinterCarnival.com Brought to you by

sponsors