The River Journal, January 2011

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A News MAGAZINE Worth Wading Through

Inuit, according to the urban legend, has 800 or more names for it, but no matter what you call it, there comes a time when you’re faced with

the moose are loose Local News • Environment • Opinion • People • Hiking • Entertainment • Humor • Politics

January 2011 | FREE | www.RiverJournal.com

sandpoint

Sandy Compton in Washington, DC

Winter Carnival 2011 January 12 - 17 Wednesday, Jan 12 KPND Ski & Board Party Trinity at City Beach

Jan 13 to 17, All Day

Dine Around & Shop Around Sandpoint Terrific dining and shopping deal with great prizes

Thursday, Jan 13th

sandpoint

Taste of Sandpoint at Sandpoint Events Center 102 S Euclid Ave | 5 pm – 8 pm

Winter Carnival 2011 Friday, Jan 14th

Bio-Luminesce Firedancers at Pend d’Oreille Winery 220 Cedar Street | 5:30 pm Rail Jam and Bon Fire | Jeff Jones Town Square 6 pm – 9 pm

Saturday, Jan 15th

Family Fun Day at Evans Brothers Coffee 524 Church Street | 9:30 am -12:30 pm

January 12 - 17 New! Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds 4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am – 5 pm Family activities and Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day

Schweitzer Torchlight Parade and Fireworks | 6 pm

What do YOU read while you’re waiting for Congress?

Schweitzer Mountain Resort Wednesday, Jan 12

Sunday, Jan 16th KPND Ski & Board Party activities TrinityFamily at City Beachand Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day

JanK913 17, All Day Kegto Pull at Eichardt’s

Dine 212 Around Shop Around Sandpoint Cedar & Street | 10 am Terrific dining and shopping deal with great prizes Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds

New! One horse, one rope, one skier!

Thursday, Jan 13th 4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am - 4pm

sandpoint

Taste of Sandpoint at Sandpoint Events Center Day on the 102 SFamily Euclid Ave | 5Cedar pm –Street 8 pmBridge

Winter Carnival 2011

11 am - 1 pm

Friday, JanJan 14th Monday, 17th

Bio-Luminesce Firedancers at Pend d’Oreille Winery Snowshoe Hike Schweitzer Mountain Resort 220 Cedar Street | 5:30 pm | 10 am – 12 pm Passport Raffle for Grand Prize

Rail Jam and Bon FireResort | Jeff Jones Schweitzer Mountain | 11 am Town Square 6 pm – 9 pm

January 12 - 17

Get special lodging deals at

www.sandpointwintercarnival.com Saturday, Jan 15th

Family atactivities, Evans Brothers Coffee ForFun a fullDay list of visit: www.sandpointwintercarnival.com 524 Church Street | 9:30 am -12:30 pm

New! Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds sponsors 4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am – 5 pm Black Blur behind LITEHOUSE will need to be adjusted as it is scaled.

Family activities and Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day

Wednesday, Jan 12 KPND Ski & Board Party Trinity at City Beach

poster design and illustration: barbara schelling

Schweitzer Torchlight Parade and Fireworks Schweitzer Mountain Resort | 6 pm

Jan 13 to 17, All Day

Dine Around & Shop Around Sandpoint Terrific dining and shopping deal with great prizes

Thursday, Jan 13th

Taste of Sandpoint at Sandpoint Events Center 102 S Euclid Ave | 5 pm – 8 pm

Sunday, Jan 16th

Family activities and Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day K9 Keg Pull at Eichardt’s 212 Cedar Street | 10 am

Friday, Jan 14th

Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds New! One horse, one rope, one skier!

Bio-Luminesce Firedancers at Pend d’Oreille Winery 4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am - 4pm 220 Cedar Street | 5:30 pm Rail Jam and Bon Fire | Jeff Jones Town Square 6 pm – 9 pm

Family Day on the Cedar Street Bridge 11 am - 1 pm

Saturday, Jan 15th

Monday, Jan 17th

New! Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds 4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am – 5 pm

Passport Raffle for Grand Prize Schweitzer Mountain Resort | 11 am

Family activities and Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day

Get special lodging deals at www.sandpointwintercarnival.com

Schweitzer Torchlight Parade and Fireworks Schweitzer Mountain Resort | 6 pm

For a full list of activities, visit:

Family Fun Day at Evans Brothers Coffee 524 Church Street | 9:30 am -12:30 pm

Sunday, Jan 16th

Snowshoe Hike Schweitzer Mountain Resort | 10 am – 12 pm

www.sandpointwintercarnival.com

sponsors

Family activities and Scavenger Hunt Schweitzer Mountain Resort | All Day K9 Keg Pull at Eichardt’s 212 Cedar Street | 10 am

poster design and illustration: barbara schelling Skijoring | Bonner County Fairgrounds New! One horse, one rope, one skier!

4203 North Boyer Ave | 10 am - 4pm

Black Blur behind LITEHOUSE will need to be adjusted as it is scaled.

January 2011

Snow. It’s falling. What do you do with it now?

Photo by Trish Gannon. Story on page 6

Inside

P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811 www.RiverJournal. com•208.255.6957

SALES

4 When wildlife come to visit

Call 208.255.6957 or email trish@riverjournal.

10 Feeling the hunger

com

14 House sparrows (Bird in Hand)

PRESS RELEASES

15 Critters in winter (Game Trail)

(Email only) to editorial@riverjournal.com

16 Movers & shakers (A Seat in the House) 17 Long live Wikileaks (Politically Incorrect)

STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility

18 Welcoming gays (Veterans’ News) 19 Physics of the fall line (Scenic Route)

Trish Gannon-trish@riverjournal.com

20 The devil’s in the details of Health Care reform 21 Downtown Sandpoint Event Calendar 22 Connected to the world (Faith Walk)

Cartoonists

24 The Bernd Building (Valley of Shadows) 25 Weird News of 2010 (Surrealist Research Bureau) 26 Obituaries 27 Taking the waters (Mouth of the River) 4:54:34 PM

Renewable Energy Systems Solar Panels Storage Batteries Water Pumps Power Inverters Grid-Tie Systems Efficient Appliances ...and much more

Packaged Systems & Free Custom Design 4BOEQPJOU t

Don@Voodoosolar.com

Ministry of Truth and Propaganda Jody Forest-joe@riverjournal.com

23 Grandpa Ernie (Hawk’s Nest)

11/2/10

A News Magazine Worth Wading Through ~just going with the flow~

2 Skijoring (Love Notes)

28 A VS_CO-OP.X3.pdf tell-tale tree

THE RIVER JOURNAL

www.VoodooSolar.com

Scott Clawson, Matt Davidson

Regular Contributors

Desire Aguirre; Scott Clawson; Sandy Compton; Marylyn Cork; Dick Cvitanich; Idaho Rep. George Eskridge; Lawrence Fury; Dustin Gannon; Matt Haag; Ernie Hawks; Lt. Cary Kelly; Marianne Love; Kathy Osborne; Gary Payton; Boots Reynolds; Sandpoint Wellness Council; Lou Springer; Mike Turnlund; Michael White

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.� Aristotle Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash. 509.534.3625 Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2011. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited.

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Story and photos by Marianne Love

Skijoring - Taking off faster than horses can race It’s a cold but crisp December day up The course includes jumps and gates. and having watched several levels of practice Rapid Lightning Creek just off Sugar Mountain Competition includes divisions for on makeshift courses popping up around the Road. In a field near his driveway, Matt Smart experienced skijorers and novices as well as area, I’m still trying to figure out the correct is driving his 4-wheeler, pulling a harrow a freestyle category where contestants can pronunciation for “skijoring.” I don’t know if behind. He’s smoothing out snow for a race show off their acrobatic talents.

I’ll ever be sure if it’s spelled as one word, two track where he’s already prepared two jumps.

On this day at the Smart’s, practice begins words or hyphenated.

Two retired trail horses munch on hay in a as soon as skiers, snow boarders and some What I do know for certain, however, is small corral while the rest of the herd quietly horse folks show up. Matt provides them a that skijoring has been taken off in Sandpoint mingles behind the barn. Jody Kirby and Julee few quick guidelines. as fast as horses can race across snow pulling Reeves stand near the rustic fence, watching A handful of skijoring novices take their daredevils behind them.

Matt work. Jody also reviews a set of rules first runs around the course, behind what Matt I’m also betting that when the inaugural for a new sport coming to Sandpoint, where describes as a “very mellow” horse. Within event ends at the Bonner County Fairgrounds she’ll be serving as a judge. minutes, it’s clearly evident that chances of during this year’s Winter Carnival, spectators These observations tell me that I’ve come the age-old winter European sport generating and participants will be looking forward to to the right place: Matt and Chrissy Smart’s some keen wintertime excitement in North next year and the year after.

Mountain Horse Adventures.

Idaho are more than promising.

Better yet, whether it’s competing at On this day, the Smart’s ranch serves as “That was fun,” said local ski instructor a sanctioned event or just enjoying some venue for the first-ever public practice for and Ivanos waiter Nolan Smith after his first backyard skijoring, the activity in all its Sandpoint-area skijoring, a brand-new feature round. “Now, get me a faster horse.” Nolan’s varieties (even dog teams are used in some for this month’s Winter Carnival. enthusiasm was echoed throughout the forms) provides an exhilarating new dimension The event, with a purse of $2,000 and afternoon as faster horses came from the to winter time fun. financially supported by several area sponsors, barn, towing the skiers and boarders over the Since the initial poster for the Winter is scheduled for Saturday and Sunday, January jumps and through gates.

Carnival event began appearing around town 15 and 16 at the Bonner County Fairgrounds.

In actual competition, a team of skijoring and after posting several photos on Facebook, In short, skijoring involves a race against judges watch closely to see that contestants I’ve witnessed, firsthand, an explosion of the clock over a designed course with a stay on course and that horses don’t go over enthusiasm among numerous locals who’ve horse and rider, using a rope to pull a skier or jumps. experienced their individual skijoring snowboarder behind.

Even a month after Matt’s initial gathering discoveries.

Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

“That was fun. Now, get me a faster horse.”

Even before Matt’s public practice, Selle’s toward the National Finals at Red Lodge in Laura Gillet had rounded up her friend and early March. local horse professional, Carrie Kedish, to According to Tammy Stevens, a “semiride her 5-year-old AQHA mare Sara. Laura, an retired skijoring champ” and local organizer, avid horsewoman and skier, opted for skiing skijoring came to Red Lodge in the early behind Sara.

1960s as a “wacky addition to the town’s She continued practicing as often as annual winter carnival.” weather would permit in various Selle fields At first, the sport served as an intermission and on Matt’s course. Laura also had a farrier of sorts to cutter and snowshoe races. put special studded shoes on Sara. The shoes “Skiers from Red Lodge Mountain had allow for safe travel on ice and prevent snow been talked into letting a couple of cowboys from balling up on her mare’s hooves. from the Roping and Riding Club pull them After watching Matt’s practice, Janice behind horses in straight-pull heats,” Stevens Schoonover and her daughter Danielle Otis explained. “... meaning just that: a guy on a of Western Pleasure Guest Ranch went home horse pulling a guy on skis as fast as possible and told Janice’s husband Roley what they’d straight down the middle of the main drag. witnessed. A few days later, Roley prepared a The grand prize... a bottle of whiskey.” course in a large field below the family’s Gold Creek-area lodge.

On Christmas Eve, approximately 20 Marianne Love skiers, boarders and spectators, eight dogs and four horses gathered at the scenic field slightdetour.blogspot.com surrounded by forests that serves as summer billmar@dishmail.net pasture for Western Pleasure’s livestock.

For several hours, excitement was palpable As years went by, the event became as first-timers took off behind horses and got more fined-tuned and modified. A horsea feel for the sport, only to ask for more. At shoe shaped course, “designed to be both this gathering, boarders far outnumbered technically challenging and highly entertaining skiers. for spectators with at least four jumps ... and Boarders encounter a more difficult two dozen or more gates to slalom through challenge in maneuvering the course. in roughly 16 seconds... ” evolved. Crowds “Skiers sit back, and that’s not too grew to the hundreds, and Red Lodge became difficult,” Matt Smart explains. “Boarders home to the National Finals. have to maintain a centered stance to hold Ironically, while getting introduced to on, and that throws them back, messing up skijoring to write this column, I met Allison their natural stance.”

Evertz, now a substitute teacher for Lake Still, Boise transplant and new Schweitzer Pend Oreille School District and formerly a instructor Justin Pickford eased around Matt’s participant in the Red Lodge National Finals. course as did those practicing at Gold Creek. She was ecstatic when she heard skijoring Matt says the freestyle event lends itself to was coming to Sandpoint. the “eye candy” of boarders and their tricks.

In 2003, while living in Bozeman, Allison One aspect of the skijoring, which requires returned to Red Lodge where she had taught close monitoring, is the endurance-level of high school Spanish and English. horses, accustomed to just standing around It was National Finals week for skijoring. in their barnyards without much exercise Allison decided to get involved. As a skiing during the winter. competitor, she needed a rider. So, she put a It doesn’t take long for a horse with winter sign on her back at registration night, reading hair to work up a sweat, so caution was “Need a Rider.” observed at the Western Pleasure gathering.

One of her former students showed up A fresh set of horses came from the stable and teamed up with her. midway through the practice.

“We didn’t know what were doing at all, At the actual competition, a veterinarian but we were enthralled with the idea,” she will monitor the animals. recalls. “We ended up placing third out of six Contestants must also wear safety helmets. in our category. We were in the state of shock Gloves that don’t slip are encouraged. The since our rope was too short and we really three-quarter-inch tow rope should be about bungled the jumps.

50 feet long.

“It was one of those classic events that If Montana’s Red Lodge and Whitefish or makes for a great story and had a great impact Colorado’s Leadville and Steamboat Springs on my life,” she adds. serve as any examples, future skijoring events Credit for the sport’s introduction to in Sandpoint should draw the masses. Many Sandpoint this year goes to Matt Smart who of these communities with established events, has worked tirelessly to generate interest like Leadville, hold the competition on the among sponsors, volunteers and participants. town’s main drag.

Both Matt and Chrissy plan to compete also.

Throughout the winter, diehard “I do want to thank the sponsors that have competitors follow a circuit in these already helped us,” Matt says, “And I hope to communities and others around the West, see them there.” appearing at sanctioned events and aiming Matt also called upon organizers and

Love Notes

by Marianne Love

seasoned competitors from Whitefish and Red Lodge to help get Sandpoint skijoring off to a good start. Pros will compete in this year’s event, which is one of several on the regional circuit leading to the Red Lodge finals in early March.

Since moving to Sandpoint from New Orleans just days before Katrina, Matt, an elephant trainer for 14 years at Audubon Zoo, has made a name for himself locally with his two loves: skiing and horses.

He operates Mountain Horse Adventures at Schweitzer and from their home during summer and fall. As a ski instructor at Schweitzer, Matt wanted to combine his two passions.

“I wanted something to do with my horses in the wintertime,” he told me. “It puts two of my favorite sports into one. I was looking for something unique for horses in the wintertime ... I got into it last year, and I’m hooked.”

From my vantage point as a photographer and chronicler, I’m confident that in a few years, Matt and scores of others who have tried the sport will serve as pioneers for a growing local tradition.

According to Allison Evertz, skijoring’s blending of cultures and interests should foster positive outcomes for a community already recognized nationally for its wintertime fun.

“I see this event really taking off in this area,” she says. “It’s the best blend of two passions, and I see Sandpoint as a place ready to embrace the experience.”

For more information about registration, rules, sponsorship or team match-ups, call Matt Smart at 208-263-8768 or the Chamber office at 208-263-2163. Online information is available at www.SandpointSkijoring.com.

Photo, facing page: skijoring organizer Matt Smart riding the horse, pulling Laura Gillet. It was the first run of the first practice at Matt’s Mountain Horse Adventures off Rapid Lightning Creek Road.

Editor’s note: Pronounced “ski-jore-in” with the emphasis on the first syllable, the word comes from the Norwegian skikjøring, which means ski driving.

January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page

When wildlife don’t stay in the wild... don’t LOVE them to death

by Trish Gannon

He was young; a yearling, maybe, or possibly even a twoyear-old, but as the gangly moose trotted in front of our car going down Chestnut in Sandpoint, I kept my eye out for his mama. I expected her to be somewhere close by, not just because the moose looked young enough to still be hanging around with his mom, but because I’d heard for days about the pair of moose hanging out on Boyer Avenue. We were just a block from Boyer, traveling on Chestnut near Lake Pend Oreille Alternative High School, when we spotted the youngster.

Just the day before, David and I were driving on Gooby Road late at night, a little further out of ‘town’ than Chestnut, when he suddenly swerved to miss a large moose that ambled out on the road in front of us.

Was it mama? It could have been—moose can range over a large area. Or it could have been a completely different animal because the snow was deep, and deep snow is one of the reasons wild animals will desert the

mountains around us and spend their days cruising through residential areas.

It’s all about food, explains Matt Haag, a conservation officer with the Idaho Department of Fish and Game.

“They get pushed down with deeper snow, frozen snow and cold weather,” he said.

“They switch to winter browse (tree limbs and woody material) and especially like the fruit trees. They seek out ornamental trees that we grow in our backyards, thus the moose hanging out near Farmin Stidwell/ Boyer.”

“I was driving down Boyer and spotted a pair of moose grazing in someone’s yard,” Gail Fendley told me. “It was this great scene.

I could see the homeowners inside, watching TV, while right outside their window these moose were eating their landscaping.”

Yes, we took a picture of the young moose trotting down the road in front of us, in spite of my knowing better. I had decided then and there to write this story,

and wanted the photo to illustrate.

That’s not much of an excuse, however, when you compare it with the trauma a young moose undoubtedly experiences when followed down the road by a vehicle.

When they cease ambling and begin trotting, you know you’re causing them some anxiety. Which, let’s face it, is not really what you want to do. Especially with moose. Still, every time I’ve spotted a moose in downtown Sandpoint (and it’s happened more than a few times) there has always been a pack of budding paparazzi following behind, eager for a great shot.

While an anxious moose might well look for a way to quickly get away from you, potentially injuring himself in the process, an anxious moose might also decide that your vehicle is a threat he’s more than prepared to take on—more than one person locally has had a vehicle (and even themselves) become a losing target to a moose that feels challenged.

The fact they’re in your yard, or on your

Photo by Brian Nietzke Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

street, does not magically domesticate what are, we tend to forget, wild animals. They don’t want your attention and, furthermore, they don’t need your help.

A moose (or a deer for that matter) nibbling at your lilacs or munching on the volunteer cottonwood is not the northwest equivalent of a poor person digging through a garbage dumpster. “[People] think they are starving because they are eating woody material, when in fact that’s what they need,” explained Matt. “I got yelled at by a couple that was feeding [a] moose apples when I tried to explain the moose diet. They said it was awful that “we” would let them starve by leaving them to a diet of trees.”

Feeding wildlife is a problem, and most often goes far beyond tossing out a few apples when ungulates appear in the backyard. There are those who go to considerable expense to buy grain or alfalfa for the specific purpose of feeding wildlife that are not only capable of finding their own food in the winter, but need to do so in order not to become domesticated. A fed animal, in Fish and Game’s experience, too often becomes a dead animal. Which is why state wildlife officials are asking the Bonner County Commissioners to adopt an ordinance that would prevent the intentional feeding of wildlife and provide penalties for those who do so.

“Just asking [people] not to do it hasn’t worked,” explained Becky Haag, who is an environmental biologist with Fish and Game.

Even an ordinance doesn’t always work with people bound and determined to do what they think is best, regardless of the opinions of others. John Fraley, who manages Montana Fish, Wildlife and Park’s Regional Information and Education Program in Kalispell, points out it’s not only a bad idea to feed the deer, but that “it’s illegal now. ...We’d really like to see people start realizing that the animal has to forage on its own. If it loses that natural foraging, it’s not going to survive anyway,”

Photo by Trish Gannon

Photo by Brian Nietzke he added.

In 2009, Montana revised state law to specifically prohibit the feeding of mountain lions and ungulates (deer, moose, elk and antelope).

There are a number of reasons, say Montana FWP, why feeding wildlife is a bad idea.

• Supplemental feeding encourages wildlife to become dependent on handouts that are not part of their natural diets.

• Human foods are usually not suited for wildlife and may lead to health problems.

• Young animals that are taught to depend on humans sometimes never develop normal foraging behavior, and could starve if the artificial food sources are removed or more

•

•

•

likely become nuisances and come in conflict with humans.

Wildlife lose their fear of humans and learn that they can boldly forage for human food, causing possible risks to human safety.

Wild animals being fed by humans may congregate in unnaturally high numbers, and this is the perfect opportunity for diseases to spread.

Feeding wildlife, especially prey species such as deer, squirrels and rabbits, often causes a domino or food chain effect. Example: Increase deer numbers in your yard and you may be inviting a mountain lion for a free meal.

In addition, wildlife attracted to a lessthan-wild habitat are also a danger to our pets. The family dog, protesting the incursion of a wild animal onto “his” property, is likely to become a target of an animal that can cause him serious injury.

In Montana, intentionally feeding wildlife is a misdemeanor, which carries a maximum fine of $1,000, six months in jail and the possibility of losing privileges to hunt, fish or trap.

Still many, citing their love for animals, will continue to put out food for wildlife because they don’t want to see them starve, refusing to recognize that, in the process, they are “loving” them to death.

If you’d like to share your opinion about a wildlife feeding ordinance with the Bonner County Commissioners, you may write to them at 1500 Hwy 2 Suite 308, Sandpoint, ID, 83864, telephone 208-265-1438 or email the individual commissioners at jyoung@co.bonner.id.us (Joe Young) lrich@co.bonner.id.us (Lewis Rich) and crasor@co.bonner.id.us (Cornel Rasor).

January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page

It’s a ‘Winterful’ Life

by Trish Gannon In North Idaho and western Montana, in wintertime and often in the spring and fall as well, you can plan on snow. In a La Nina winter, probably a lot of it, though El Nino doesn’t always give the area a break, as the winter of 2008-2009 showed us so clearly.

If you choose to live here, then, at some point, you’re going to have to deal with all that snow, generally by moving it from one place to another. So what are the best tools to have on hand when your vision is full of white? Here’s some favorites from River Journal staff and fans.

for roof “snow loads.” When we moved from the Pack River to Clark Fork, around 1991, I think, the requirement was for only 30 pounds per square inch. When it comes to snow, that’s not really a lot.

Understandably, most of us do not look forward to crawling up on the roof and shoveling snow off when it starts to pile up. After all, roofs have slope, some steeper than others, and footing can be

ROOF TOPS

When it comes to your roof, the word is: roof rake. Didn’t know they made those?

Well, if not, then you’re a candidate for having your roof collapse from either heavy snowfall (see photo above) or from one of those infamous rain-on-snow events, when even a small accumulation of snow on your roof, once saturated with water, can end up weighing more than a team of draft horses.

Bear in mind—it’s only recently that Bonner County building code was upgraded

treacherous.

No one wants to go sliding off their roof in hopes of a soft landing.

That’s where roof rakes come in. First, some caveats. Most standard roof rakes extend about 16 feet, and most people standing on the ground are going to be at

least eight feet or so from their roof to begin with. So a roof rake, in and of itself, is not going to clear all the snow from your roof.

It will clear some of it, though, and some is better than none. In addition, you can crawl up on a ladder using the rake and thereby reach more of your roof; after all, falling off a ladder generally involves a shorter distance to the ground than falling off your roof.

In addition, removing at least the bottom few feet of snow helps to prevent damage to your eaves from ice dams, and can help the snow higher on the roof to slide off more easily.

Coleman Frank of Ponderay’s Co-Op says the store has two types of ladder in stock. The Avalanche brand, while more expensive, is also sturdier. The two rakes cost $33.99 for the less expensive, and $49.99 for the Avalanche, although if you check the Co-Op ad on the inside of the front cover, you’ll see a sale price for this month. Bear in mind, you might well be able to recover some of your investment in this handy tool by renting it out to less-prepared

Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

neighbors.

So when should you shovel snow? That depends on the construction of your roof, and the snow itself. You can accumulate a lot more light, powdery snow than you can wet, heavy snow without danger. Still, most people in the area consider removing snow from their roofs when it reaches a depth of a foot or more.

COLD HANDS

I don’t like being cold, and my fingers and toes suffer the worst. So I hate to admit how many years I lived in winter weather without knowing about these little chemical miracle packs.

The packaging for my generic product from WalMart says this is a “non-toxic, environmentally friendly, odorless heat source using all natural ingredients that are non-combustible.”

And while I tend to take those sorts of claims with a big heaping of salt, I must admit, salt seems to be the smallest ingredient of some pretty natural elements in this package, which includes iron, water, cellulose, vermiculite, activated carbon and, last but not least, salt.

Simply take off the outer packaging and expose the inner package to air... and it rapidly begins to heat. Oh, what a treat inside your coat pockets... your mittens... your boots... even your bra! Okay, you’re warned not to keep the packet directly against your skin, because it can actually get pretty hot.

But when you’re cold—cold like me—­­it can be hard to resist!

The Wal-Mart in Ponderay carries hand warmers at just $1.97 for a six pack (they each last up to 10 hours) or for the same price a 3pack “body warmer with adhesive” that lasts up to 12 hours.

MOVING SNOW

The Inuit language doesn’t actually have 800 names for snow—that’s an urban legend—but rest assured there’s 800 types of shovel to deal with whatever kind of snow you come across. So if you’re one of those people who believes there’s “the right tool for the job,” and only the right tool, or if you just want a good, all-around shovel that will do whatever job you give it, head on in to Merwin’s True Value in Sandpoint and, if you want some pointers, talk with owner Grant Merwin, who possesses a cornucopia of information on show shovels.

“Well, I use a different shovel depending on the type of snow,” he tells me, and goes on to explain the different types of snow and the type of shovel that should be used.

Want just an all-around good shovel? He recommends a plastic grain scoop. The snow slides off easily and it can grab a good, hefty scoop if you have light snow to deal with.

Just make sure you buy one that’s heavy-duty plastic, not that light stuff that will break the first time it hits an obstruction.

300 Bonner Mall Way • Ponderay

208.263.4272

Jim Fulling, of Sandpoint’s Mountain Stove and Spa, deals with snow during the winter of 2008-2009.

If bending over is a problem, grab a snow shovel with a bent handle. It allows you to grab snow without bending but beware: those bent-handled shovels make it hard to throw snow at any height. If you’ve built up some berms, this is not a good choice.

Got to clean off a sidewalk? Merwin’s sells a snow-pusher that will go up against the side of a building and let you push snow to an edge. These are also good for cleaning off decks.

If you’re dealing with a little bit of ice in your snow, you might trade that plastic shovel for an aluminum one—this is [River Journal columnist] Ernie’s favorite.

Need to dig out a car that’s high-centered in the snow? Now’s the time for a traditional, flat, square steel shovel. Try not to jam it into your car tires.

Merwin’s also has some big, round, snow pushers, generally used for moving large amounts of snow (like off a roof). “People get ‘em because you can move twice as much snow,” Grant said. When this shovel is filled with snow, you can’t lift it, but it’s perfect for cutting ‘blocks’ of snow and then pushing them where you want them to go.

Shovels at Merwin’s range from $15 to $55.

By the way... I’m not the only one who believes that if you need to move very much snow, a snowblower is a must.

MOVING STUFF

Yes, I know, you thought sleds were for going out and having fun careening down hills of snow. But not always. The savvy winter survivor will always have a sled near at hand.

Let me tell you how I learned this lesson.

One winter, when the snow was deep, Jinx and I ventured out into the woods. At this particular time, Jinx was participating in a chemotherapy regimen that had left her with less-than-optimal health and stamina. I would like to interject that before we headed

Continued on next page

Cook Off

SATURDAY, JANUARY 15

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January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page

Snow- Cont-d from previous page

Again at the Co-Op in Ponderay, Coleman Frank tells us a pair of YakTrax runs just $22.99 and they come in small, medium and large. (Because they’re rubber, and therefore stretchable, each size will fit a large range of regular shoe sizes.) “It’s like putting snow chains on your feet,” Frank says.

rubbed patiently into the stain. It comes right out. into the woods, I questioned her abilities Seriously. Try it. and the wisdom in this undertaking, and she Of course, not assured me she was up to this adventure. everyone has wood ash Which makes everything that follows handy, and even if they ­not my fault. do, it’s not the optimal About a mile away from the car, choice for giving traction it became very clear that she was CHAPPED LIPS on icy walkways that lead not only not up to this adventure, A Christmas Eve discussion had my into your house. (Unless, but she was not going to be able daughters, Amy and Misty, discussing of course, you don’t to get back to the car on her own. the addictive qualities of the lip mind washing wood Oh, what I would have given for a balm, Softlips®. Now I haven’t ash off your floors.) sled at that point! found anything that suggests Kathy at Lignetics Let me point out to you Softlips® is addictive in the in Ponderay pointed that sled substitutes simply clinical sense of that term, out a great traction do not match up to the although it does contain a l t e r n a t i v e — real thing. In this case, menthol (as does most bird seed. It not my sled substitutes lip balms), and some only provides some were a blanket studies have shown traction, it’s completely (didn’t work) and that menthol biodegradable and will undoubtedly be a 4’ x 4’ plastic cigarettes are more appreciated by your feathered friends. pallet (didn’t addictive than nonIn my own book, the second-best bet work at all). menthol cigarettes. is sawdust. Although this is completely But dragging The current scientific belief, anecdotal evidence, sawdust provides about someone you think however, is that this is due 95 percent of the traction that wood ash may be in danger of imminent to the cooling sensation of menthol death back to the car so you can get them allowing more nicotine (the truly addictive does.

Sadly, not everyone has access to sawdust to medical care is not the only reason you ingredient) being ingested by the lungs. either.

Those bereft of wood ash or sawdust might find a sled handy. Can’t get down the Nonetheless, Softlips® does an can also rely on kitty litter, salt or beet juice. driveway with all the groceries? You need a outstanding job of controlling the dry, sled. Tired of hauling little kids on your back? chapped lips that go hand-in-hand with Be aware that chemical salts are poisonous to your pets. If you have little critters that You need a sled. Tired of trudging through winter. might get salt on the pads of their feet, then snow and there’s a downhill handy? You need Softlips®, however, is marketed to lick their feet, be sure to purchase a chemical a sled. females, and most men are uncomfortable The winter-savvy Northwesterner keeps using it (despite the choice of that delicious, salt rated as safe for pets. Merwin’s True an extra sled not just by the house, but in the cherry flavor!). So for men: Carmex®. Familiar Value in downtown Sandpoint carries it, as does The Co-Op in Ponderay. car as well. for its small white jar with the bright A word here about beet juice. It’s not yellow top, Carmex® answers the available for residential purchase to spray WALKING question “is Carmex addictive?” on your sidewalk, and I don’t know that Mama isn’t too steady on her pins with its own question: “Are boiling up a bunch of sugar beets on your anymore, which might not be surprising sunshine, kisses and puppies stove would give the same result. But Coeur given that she’ll be 83 years old this addictive?” d’Alene has been using beet juice as a de-icer coming July. But winter in If so, then when it comes on its roads going on three years now. So North Idaho and western to Softlips® and Carmex® what’s behind it?

Montana gives us plenty it must be asked: “So what’s Beet juice was an early front-runner in of opportunity to so bad about addiction?” the effort to find a more environmentally understand my You can find both friendly product than salt for providing mama’s dilemna; just Softlips® and Carmex® traction on the roadways. Salt, you know, is picture this: 7 to 12 at just about any retail what your enemies sowed in your fields after inches of snow, which outlet around. conquering you, as it has a great ability to you have laboriously kill, preventing fields from growing things snowblowed, shoveled TRACTION for years. or snowplowed as close to When it comes to Of course, everything used to add the ground as you can get wintertime, traction is traction and melt ice has its drawbacks— it, followed by three days of the name of the game. gravel destroys expensive headlights and rain, topped by a day or two of And I can’t imagine any windshields, chemical de-icer does who below freezing temps. Now, walk out product that gives more traction than wood knows what to our roadsides and lakes, to your car. You should understand exactly ash. plain salt will eat up the metal underside of what my mother faces ‘most every day.

Seriously, it’s the rare person that will a car—and beet juice is no different. Beet It’s YakTrax to the rescue! make it through a few winter seasons without I’m not totally sure how to describe finding their car tires spinning, and when you juice de-icer, you see, is jam-packed full of this, so bear with me. This is a product that want to allow those tires to grip, wood ash is phosphorous, a chemical many in the area attaches to the bottom of your shoe or boot. a tip top solution. One hint here: make sure have been working hard to keep out of the It’s a rubber web, and the webbing is wrapped the wood ash does not contain any hot coals. lake. In addition, most users combine beet juice with sodium chloride for de-icing with coils of [wire?] to provide traction on the Yes, I learned this by experience. roadways. snow and ice. It’s like football cleats without As an added benefit, wood ash is also handy A benefit to beet juice over rock salt, the cleats or the football. when you have children or grandchildren who Does it make a difference? Hell, yes! “I write on your wood furniture with permanent however, is that rock salt is not particularly wouldn’t even try to walk out in the snow markers. Permanent simply cannot stand up effective under 25 degrees. Beet juice is effective to 25 below, which is more without them,” my mother says. to the test of wood ash (or cigarette ash) in keeping with the majority of our icy, Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

wintertime weather.

COLD FEET

Ask people the best boot to wear in wintertime and you’ll get as many types of boot as there are people, it seems. “Kamiks from Larsons—best value for my dollar for work pacs I have found in 36 years of Heron snows,” said Judy Hutchins. “Uggs! I have worn UGGs since I got my first pair direct from UGG back in 1986 when I worked for Sun Ice USA,” said Gina Emory. “Can’t imagine a winter without them. They are THE BEST.” For Wendy DeChambeau, “I had a pair of Columbia’s I really liked. I now have North Face which are great too.” And Mel Davis swears by her Sorels.

Yes, a good winter boot is a wonderful thing (I’m an UGG fan, myself) but the true secret to winter comfort is keeping your feet dry. Your winter boot is only as good as your waterproofing... and even the best boots need a touch-up now and then.

The solution? Be it boots, gloves, coats...

Outdoor Experience in downtown Sandpoint carries a full like of NikWax products to ensure that whatever you’re wearing is not letting in the wet. Be it a simple NikWax paste at $9.95 or a wash-in/spray on product at $12.95, it’s money well worth spending.

For all-around cold, by the way, honorable mention goes to: puppies! Or any other type of critter you can get to snuggle up close to you at bedtime. When the wind howls out of the north, you truly understand what makes a three-dog night.

DEPRESSION

Affective Disorder” is believed to be a type of depression brought on by a lack of sunlight which, up above the 48th parallel as we are, is a situation we live with throughout a large part of the year.

To be honest, Seasonal Affective Disorder only impacts 4 to 6 percent of the population, so is sunlight (or natural light) important for the rest of us? Well, sunlight on our skin stimulates the production of Vitamin D, which we know is important, and has at least some impact on the production of seratonin and melatonin, which we also know are important, but how that impacts the body and mind is something less well known.

In fact, if lack of sunlight is detrimental to a person’s well-being, then one could expect that living in areas where there’s less sunshine would cause people to feel less happiness. Yet in studies, that’s not the case.

As freelance journalist and science blogger Orli Van Mourik writes, “After totaling up 80,000 responses from people across the globe, they found that the four happiest places on earth are: Denmark, Switzerland, Austria and—wait for it—Iceland. Viewed through this lens, it appears that happiness has far less to do with sun than it does with beer consumption and good healthcare.”

So now we have four solutions to the issue of a lack of natural light through the winter months.

A person can take supplements if they think the natural environment is lacking, though my personal preference is to get what the body needs in as natural a way as possible. If supplements are the answer for you, consider Thorne products (a local business and available at local pharmacies).

A bottle of Vitamin D-5000, “for individuals desiring higher amounts of Vitamin D supplementation,” retails on their website (www.

Thorne.com) at $13.90 for 60 vegetarian capsules. And Shannon McGlashan of White Cross Pharmacy on the Dover Highway pointed out, “For snow-

pression, Thorne Deproloft.”

If beer is your answer, you might consider the local Laughing Dog brand (www.

LaughingDogBrewing.com). A six-pack of India Pale Ale IPA is just (at this writing) $8.69 at Yokes Fresh Market in Ponderay.

If you’re looking for ‘free’ health care, leave the U.S for just about any other industrialized nation in the world.

If you’re looking for sunlight when the sun is hidden, well then, enter full spectrum lighting. Again, this is an issue where the jury is still out: because there are no standard measurements for this type of lighting, products can vary and there’s really no way to know whether they provide a benefit or not. And honestly, there’s not one scientific study that shows they do.

That said, there’s also no evidence they produce any harm. So for those of you who feel the lack of sunlight is detrimental to, at the least, your mental health, and want to give ‘alternative’ lighting a try: Home Depot carries full spectrum light bulbs.

A lighting representative for the Home Depot in Ponderay indicated they carry a wide variety of GE light bulbs—carried under the name Reveal®—labeled as full spectrum lighting, from clear and frosted bulbs (40, 60, 75 and 100 watts) at around $5 for a six-pack, to fluorescent, energy-efficient lighting, at $8 for a 4-pack of 60 watt bulbs.

One day my grandson, Tyler and his godmomma, Susan, were drawing rainbows.

“Trish,” Susan asked, “do you remember the order of colors for a rainbow?” Of course, I didn’t... Roy G Biv was floating just at the edge of my attempts to grasp IF ALL ELSE FAILS... it. “No,” I confessed, “but I’m These are not the only tools you need heading up to the office, and to get you through the winter, especially on I’ll ask Brian.” those occasions when winter decides to stick Brian, AKA “the mad around for eight months of the year. But the scientist,” was not quite the number one favorite way for many to cope perfect person to ask about how with the snow: visualization! This, too, shall to accurately color a rainbow. pass, and summer will return!

When asked about the order of colors in one he responded, “Do you want to start with the infrared, or the ultraviolet?”

Last time I looked, the crayon box did not feature colors in either the infrared or the ultraviolet spectrum.

Nonetheless, these invisible ‘colors’ are important for mammals, thought to effect the cicadian rhythm and to have an impact on mood and behavior; “Seasonal January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page

Feeling the Hunger

A few hundred area residents walk in the shoes of the hungry for a day I only did it to support Chris Bessler. “Can’t go to the fridge. Ouch! Can I make “So I’ve now decided that hot water is That’s because Chris, the owner of Keokee yummy. Isn’t it amazing how many different Publishing in Sandpoint, has always it?” Garth D. Weme, 7:03 am supported me—turn about is fair play, or I have spent a day fasting many times sounds the stomach can make when it’s something like that. before, usually by accident. I have gotten hungry?” Jeni Clevenger, 10:50 am Chris supported it because his friend, Eric up, gone to work on the computer, gotten Rust, partnered in the idea in the first place. involved in what I’m doing and, before I Most all who participated were quick to And Eric supported it because, “We were knew it, it was evening and I hadn’t eaten all recognize and acknowledge that hungry or focusing on hunger and wanted to change day. By which time the thought of food just not, we were all blessed by the availability both people’s bodies and their minds.” wasn’t appealing, so I didn’t eat at all. Feel of clean water. The World Water Council “We” is Cedar Hills Church in Sandpoint, the Hunger was going to be, for me, a piece reports that 1.1 billion people in the world where Eric has been the pastor for ten years. of cake. So to speak. lack access to safe drinking water. Many The church had been involved with One Day I had not considered the effect of focus. of that 1.1 billion, of course, are the same to Feed the World, a faith-based program The night of the 7th, I dreamed about food. I people attempting to live on that caloric through Convoy of Hope that urges people woke up that morning and lay in bed thinking equivalent of one-half to donate just one day’s wages each year cup of rice each day. to help address the issue of world hunger.

What does this mean?

Cedar Hills’ parishioners were planning to Here are a few stunning make a Christmas Eve donation to the facts. program.

Half of the world’s Cedar Hills has focused on hunger hospitalizations are due to waterat a local level before, but this year borne diseases. In a year, 3.575 they wanted to step it up, so to million people, including 1.4 million speak. They wanted to learn a more children, die due to these diseases. In global focus, plus they wanted to this, as in most things, the poor carry involve the greater community. The an inequitable burden: Poor people church kept the fundraising aspect living in the slums often pay 5 to 10 in-house, not wanting to impose their times more per liter of water than wealthy agenda on others, but they decided to people living in the same city. share the challenge of experiencing hunger “Drinking more hot water. Feeling lucky with the community at large. News of their challenge spread via stories in the Bonner and blessed that I have clean drinking County Daily Bee, and through a website water.” Jennifer Bair Hauck, 1:20 pm provided by Keokee Publishing. about what I should have for breakfast.

So what was the challenge? On Fried eggs? French toast? Corn Flakes with Hungry. It was all I could think about, December 8, 2010 Chris, Eric, myself and banana? This is something I never do. Then and it wasn’t even noon yet. I have to admit, many others (Eric estimates 400 to 500 I remembered that I would be “feeling the to begin with I didn’t see a lot of use in people, including some in Europe!) spent 24 hunger” all day. Breakfast would have to participating in this project. After all, I’m hours eating nothing but a half cup of rice, wait another day. already aware of the issue of world hunger— the approximate caloric equivalent of what I was on my third cup of coffee before going without food for a day wasn’t going nearly one billion people on this planet live I wondered whether coffee was allowed. to make me more aware than I was before... on every single day.

Was coffee part of the program? I went was it?

One half cup of rice.

Maybe it was. I was tantalized by the to the Feel the Hunger website (www.

“We wanted to make [the idea of hunger] FeeltheHunger.com) to check it out... and thought of all the food in my cupboards, in real to people, so we landed on this idea of a found no real rules or guidelines on how a my refrigerator, and in my freezer and believe half cup of rice being the caloric equivalent person was ‘supposed’ to participate. me, I was more aware than ever before not of what so many people live on every day.

“This was an open source deal,” laughed just that a lot of the world is hungry, but David Keyes (publisher of the Daily Bee) was Eric. “There was no real organization behind that, for them, the ability to alleviate that super supportive and Chris’ (Bessler) help it [and] no real rules.” hunger wasn’t lying just a few steps away. was huge—we couldn’t have done this “It was fun to watch the posts through That didn’t stop the people participating without him.” from making their own rules, however, and the day,” said Eric. “We don’t realize how The most recent report from the U.S. by doing so they revealed just how much common food is to us. I [myself] went to Department of Agriculture (2009) says that success this event was having in making the refrigerator twice that morning before I 14.7 percent of the population right here them think about the experience of hunger. left the house.” Eric assumed that most who in the United States were “food insecure.”

Comments from participants both at the participated were at least somewhat aware They pointed out, “This remains the highest event website and on the Feel the Hunger of the issues around hunger prior to the recorded prevalence rate of food insecurity Facebook page demonstrated most people fast, but added, “People were still shocked since 1995 when the first national food were taking this seriously—one half cup by how used we are to eating whenever we security survey was conducted.” That’s of rice, and only water to drink. I went to want. And this is while over half the world’s about 50.2 million people, including 17.2 the trusty University of Google, and learned population struggles to find food.” million children, right here in the U.S., who that coffee has approximately two calories I have been hungry before. There was a went to bed in 2009 at least some nights per cup. Now drinking my fourth (and last) time in my life, many years and many miles with an empty stomach. Does anybody cup, I sadly removed two teaspoons of dry away, when I was definitely “food insecure.” think the situation has gotten better in the rice out of my portion for the day.

I worked as a waitress at a restaurant, year since?

Page 10 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

though, so on the days I worked, I would eat the food people left on their plates. Seems kind of gross now, but it wasn’t then. Hunger puts a different perspective on things. And even though I was ‘food insecure,’ I was lucky. Because here in America, people leave a lot of food on their plates.

You’d think with that experience behind me, I wouldn’t waste food, but I had to admit, as I went through this day with my tummy grumbling, that yes, I waste a lot of food.

The leftovers that sit in the fridge ‘til they get thrown out; those last little bits left over from cooking dinner that don’t get eaten, yet don’t seem to be enough to be worth saving; the food I scrape into the animals’ dish when I, as my father always put it, let my eyes overload my belly; the food that, for one reason or another, I just don’t want to eat, like the potato peels when making mashed potatoes. I was ashamed, thinking of hunger in the world, to realize just how much I take food for granted.

And I’m not alone. A New York Times story in 2008 reported, “As it turns out, Americans waste an astounding amount of food—an estimated 27 percent of the food available for consumption, according to a government study—and it happens at the supermarket, in restaurants and cafeterias and in your very own kitchen. It works out to about a pound of food every day for every American.”

“Amazing how central food is to my daily experience. Our whole office is participating, and I’ve sensed a lower level of energy all day today.” Eric Rust 4:23 pm I’m hungry, my head hurts and I feel dizzy.

It’s been almost 24 hours since I had ‘real’ food. Isn’t that long enough?” Stephanie MillerHiatt 4:40 pm

“Feeling the hunger and having a hard time concentrating.” Julia Pugh early afternoon When you eat a meal, for approximately the next three hours your body digests that food, generating energy from the carbohydrates and fat, and storing the excess. For those of us who participated in Feel the Hunger, that process took place the night before, after dinner.

By morning, our bodies had moved into the early fasting state. Not being replenished with breakfast, we turned to our stored energy to supply our needs. The glycogen in our liver had already mostly been consumed during sleep—the brain gobbles up a lot, and it doesn’t stop just because we’re sleeping.

That left us the glycogen stored in muscles, amino acids, and body fat as resources to get through the day. (Plus, let’s not forget, that half cup of rice at some point.)

Generally, in the early fasting stage, energy levels are somewhat depleted, and people report being colder (as the body is devoting less of its energy to keeping you

warm); obviously, this is experienced earlier by thin people.

Many suffer headaches, often caused by dehydration though some may be experiencing withdrawal symptoms due to caffeine deprivation. They can also be brought on by simple physical activity. A headache from fasting is so common, in fact, they’re known as “Ramadan headaches.”

Those of the Muslim religion fast throughout the day during the month of Ramadan, and headaches are a common side effect.

As blood sugar lowers, symptoms can include shakiness, sweating, irritability, blurred vision and poor concentration.

By late morning, I myself was experiencing nausea and shakiness, but I suspect that was due to four cups of coffee on an empty stomach.

“Being hungry makes kind of background noise for the day - a little hard to concentrate on other things.” Chris Bessler 10:47 am By late afternoon, I was fantasizing about food. Seriously. It was ridiculous. But I wasn’t alone. “Cheeseburger” was Lenny Hess’s succinct post on Facebook around 5:21 pm.

My cats chose not to participate in Feel the Hunger and I found myself envious when filling (and filling, and filling) their food bowl during the day. Cats are pigs.

Brother Joe also did not participate, and quite enjoyed not sharing the meatballs that Mother made for dinner. She also sent over donuts, which I thought was pretty snarky considering my hunger pains, even though I don’t like donuts.

As Americans, we eat a lot. The average American, in fact, eats close to 2,000 pounds of food per year, including 24 pounds of candy, 31 pounds of cheese, 126 pounds of potatoes, 110 pounds of meat, 32 pounds of eggs, 24 pounds of coffee and a little over 400 pounds of vegetables. According to the USDA, we’re eating, on average, around 2,775 calories every day... or about 2,655 calories more than today’s half cup of rice was offering, and almost 40 percent more than we need to live.

“I’m surprised at how challenging this is.

The 1/2 cup of rice was not very filling. I am feeling nervous, and recognizing how we take food for granted. On a trip to the hardware store, anything edible seems appealing!” Kris Dills, around 4 pm

“It was nice of the rice to puff up to 1 and 1/2 cups.” Kathy Osborne, 7:50 am I gave up and ate my rice around 3 o’clock in the afternoon. When to eat was an individual decision. Some cooked their rice in the morning and snacked on it throughout the day. Others divided their half cup into breakfast, lunch and dinner portions. Others, like me, ate it all at once and wanted more.

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Continued on next page

January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 11

Hunger- Cont-d from previous page “I made it through the day eating the first half portion of rice at lunch time. I just finished the second half of my portion of rice. Mmmm, mmm, yummy to my tummy!

You can bet I made sure to scrape every last grain out of that pan.” Sandy Bessler, 5:35 pm

“A day of mindfulness and extreme gratitude. Ready to fully appreciate my rice tonight and my full cupboards waiting for me tomorrow. We are so lucky.” Tea Aunan, 7 pm

I don’t fool myself that Feel the Hunger made any big changes in the way people think about hunger, and certainly not in what they do about it. Many participants donated to the local food bank the money or the food they would have consumed that day, but the nation as a whole would need to “Feel the Hunger” on a frequent basis—maybe even weekly—to see any real change in the issue of food insecurity.

As a church project to raise funds, however, the event was more successful; on Christmas Eve, Cedar Hills parishioners had donated $18,300 to be given to Convoy of Hope.

Of course, even $18,000 won’t do much to alleviate world hunger, but that doesn’t mean there was no value to the project. “Much protest is naive,” wrote Wendell Berry in “A Poem of Difficult Hope,” part of his 1990 book of essays, What are People For? “...it expects quick, visible improvement and despairs and gives up when such improvement does not come.”

Eric would agree. “We despise small beginnings, but the only way lasting change starts is in our hearts,” he said.

Berry, in fact, goes on to say that achieving a goal is not always the best end to a form of protest; instead, he posits, the best protest is that which addresses ourselves. “Protest that endures, I think, is moved by a hope far more modest than that of public success: namely, the hope of preserving qualities in one’s own heart and spirit that would be destroyed by acquiescence.”

“Something happens within us,” Eric said.

“Something changes. Everything we do makes a difference.”

Tour200.com

New website launched to promote tourism in the Clark Fork River Valley of Sanders County, Montana The official tourism website that promotes Sanders County, Montana launched on December 1st. After six months of development and information gathering the website www.Tour200.com went live.

The site showcases member businesses, the things to see and do in the county and area events.

“We live in the beautiful region of Northwest Montana. It is an area that has much to offer a visitor and yet we are still an undiscovered region of Montana. We understand that some people really like it that way. Business owners, on the other hand, see how vital customers are to the bottom line therefore the need to promote,” shares Katrina Campbell, Tour 200 Tourism Committee chairperson and co-owner of the Falls Motel in Thompson Falls,”Individually our dollars do not go far but as a collective group our pooled resources can truly make an impact on our marketing reach.”

The website features advertising spots that members can sign up for as well as areas where members are listed in a master resources list. Furthermore, members are under industry headings within in their town.

The Sanders County Historical Society was intrumental in writing and gathering historical information and photographs about the area which is found on the History Page of the website. “Historical tourism is a niche that is growing as more people seek to learn about their ancestary and the history of a place they are visiting,” Campbell says.

Another segment of the tourism industry that has grown significantly over the last few years is eco-tourism. Eco-toursim is environmentally responsible travel that benefits nature and local communities.

“The Tour 200 website strives to showcase what our county is – rural communities in a beautiful area of Northwest Montana. We want visitors to come and enjoy this region, appreciate the place and then leave it as they found it.”

Do not get the wrong idea, Tour 200 is an inclusive group and is working to promote all activities available to visitors from snowmobiling to cross country skiing.

The mission of Tour 200 is to undertake activities that develop and strengthen the tourism industry along Highway 200 and the surrounding communities within Sanders County.

Tour 200 is a subcommittee of the nonprofit group Sanders County Community Development Corporation. SCCDC focuses on development, promotion and coordination of educational programs, technical assistance and research on retaining and expanding existing businesses.

For details on how to serve on the tourism subcommittee or on how to sign up to be a member of Tour 200 call Katrina at 406-827-3559 or email her at info@tour200. com. For additional information about Sanders County Community Development Corporation, contact executive director Jim Rexhouse at sccdc@ronan.net or by calling 406-827-6935.

“I took my girls to the store (on an empty stomach) to shop for food to donate to others, with their own money. I think they actually enjoyed that part. All in all, I think it was a much needed experience for all of us. And we should do it more often than just around the holidays.” Rachel Bovee story by Trish Gannon Page 12 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

The Bird I’d Want To Be The world was wonderfully silent; sounds muffled by the snow that clung to every twig and branch. We had spent—like the rest of you—several days moving snow around and now had time to play with it. The only sound was the soft shush of our skis as we headed toward the creek, The creek’s winter gurgle hadn’t been silenced by the deep snow. Bank side brush, laden, leaned over the water and flatbottomed icicles, formed on low hanging twigs, chimed. Suddenly, loudly, a whistling, bubbling liquid series of unmelodic notes rushed towards us. Bird song on January 1?

In 1983, ten years after we moved to this valley, I started keeping a simple journal of the birds around here. Who, what, where, when information is jotted on the calendar and collected at the end of the year in a little notebook. One of the most interesting is the little pewter-grey bird that sings in the winter. Every year, the American dipper is first on the list. In ’84 a pair was singing on January 15. That year they began nest building under the bridge in March and were feeding young by April 13. The average date of first song for the last 27 years is mid January, but in ’94 there was another incident of dipper song on January 1.

Dippers are hardy, stout and indomitable little birds. Adapted to hunt under water, their wings are short and strong enough to be flippers. Their toes are long with grasping nails to pull the bird upstream, while it flips pebbles to seek out caddis fly larva. This bird was once called water ouzel, but dipper is a good, descriptive name. It dips; it lands

on a rock protruding above the current and it bends it knees and it dips and sometimes squirts. White streaks on rocks marks dipper territory. The dippers are never more than 6 feet away from the water*. A pair defends a reach of creek long enough to provide good hunting. Around here, it seems to take about a quarter mile to feed a family. They sing/ scold loudly while chasing intruders out of their stretch.

Every river we have floated from British Columbia to Colorado has supported dippers.

Their requirement seems to be ours—clean,

Lou Springer

nox5594@blackfoot.net

fast water. When a river slows down and silts accumulate, like the Smith does when leaving the valley between the Big and Little Belt Mountains, dippers are absent. Lower Bull River has dippers, the Clark Fork Delta doesn’t.

In 1985, sitting quietly on the creek bank, I was startled by the sight of a dipper being pursued by a hawk. Both birds were flying rapidly towards me, about one foot above the creek. Suddenly, the dipper dove into the water, the hawk still in blind pursuit.

The goshawk—unlike the osprey—isn’t suited to underwater hunting, but under it went. A big splash. The hawk flew up to a low hanging alder branch. Yeah, yeah, we are not supposed to attribute human emotions to animals—but that bird was disgusted with itself. It shook water disdainfully from one wing at a time and perched for a while,

Focus on Education

Supplemental Levy Set

Lake Pend Oreille School District will ask voters for $13.6+ Million on March 8 At the December 14 school board meeting the Lake Pend Oreille School District Board of Trustees approved a resolution calling for a replacement Supplemental/Instructional Levy. The total amount to be levied over two years was set at $13,646,624. The levy will be placed before voters on March 8, 2011.

The Board of Trustees held seven public work sessions regarding the levy, in addition to two public meetings designed to seek public feedback regarding the proposal. Potential proposals ranged from $12,878,000 to $16,597,393. The figure chosen recognizes the economic challenges facing residents and seeks to maintain programs that were in place two years prior with the successful passage of the 2009 levy.

The majority of the levy dollars are used to support approximately one-third of district staffing and all extracurricular activities.

Should this levy pass there will still be staffing reductions district wide. Federal stimulus dollars that were available for two years will no longer be available. The loss of the federal funds, coupled with unprecedented state reductions in public education funding the past two years, renders those cuts unavoidable. This levy proposal takes into account the possibility of a third year of reduced state funding and a potential mid-year state holdback of up to $1.1 million dollars. The district’s reserve fund and careful planning will help to weather this possibility should this occur.

Currents •

Lou Springer

gathering its thoughts.

My favorite attribute of dippers is their ability to live so intimately with running water. The little birds know how to use every rapid, each hole and ripple of their watery world. Not for them the long, dangerous, arduous migrations; they have found a habitat with year-round bug supply. The species has been molded by clean, fast-running water.

About the time of nest building, the scold song changes, and the pair seem to be singing songs to each other. When they sing under the cement bridges that span both forks of Elk Creek, the arias reverberate as if from a concert hall. In March of ’97 while standing quietly on the East Fork Bridge, I heard loud dual singing and was astounded to see a pair of dippers take a high flight. They spiraled up at least 60 feet above the creek and, flying in unison, headed up stream and out of sight.

Researching this strange occurrence, I came across a description of mating displays in “Birds, Their Life, Their Ways and Their World”: ...there is a display flight, rarely seen, in which two dippers fly much higher than usual, at 50 -100 feet, with loud and continuous song.* Rarely seen indeed. Although I try to pay attention, I have never seen a dippers’ honeymoon again.

Last summer at one of the great Heron yard parties, an unusual young man asked me what bird I would like to be. Without thinking, I replied dipper. Mathew’s choice was raven. A good choice, our most intelligent bird; yet I’ll stick with the little grey homebody who sings year round.

This will be the first school-related levy run by the county. With the change in statute at the state level last year, all school related issues will be facilitated by the County Clerk.

As such, polling places will change. In the past, residents could vote at any election site for school related elections. For this levy and all future school elections, residents of the school district must vote at their identified precinct. In addition, mail in absentee ballot requests must be received by the County Clerk by March 2, 2011.

Information and implications of the passage of the levy will be shared around the community. The district website will be updated regularly with levy related information. If you have any questions regarding the proposed levy please feel free to call me at 263-2184 or email me at dick. cvitanich@lposd.org.

Dick Cvitanich

Superintendent, LPOSD

dick.cvitanich@lposd.org

•

January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 13

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A Bird in Hand

Cockroaches, House Sparrows & the Apocalypse Humanity’s days are numbered. Sometime in the future, tomorrow or years yet to come, this world will end. Whether a stray comet, a virulent pandemic, or the Second Coming, an apocalypse is inevitable. And what will survive?

What organisms will continue on to seed the globe with new life? Undoubtedly two of the most indomitable animal species on earth: cockroaches and house sparrows. Life will continue. Hey, where’s my bug spray?

The house sparrow, formerly the English house sparrow, is the bird that will survive, even thrive, after the Apocalypse. This specie is virtually invincible. It prospers in more parts

of the world than any other avian specie, in areas as diverse as Alaska from South Africa. It is so dominating that even the hallowed Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology—the high priests of all things related to birds—recommend that people actively “discourage [them] from breeding in nest boxes.” Why? House sparrows are so aggressive and successful, that they tend to push out and dominate native species. And you thought white males were the source of all evil in this world!

The house sparrow is probably the first bird most children ever see. It loves urban areas; any place where people are. Its chatter is the stock of most people’s experiences with birds, from Paris to Djibouti to Buenos Aires. Perhaps that is its only endearing quality. It provides avian life to even the most polluted city environment.

Mike Turnlund

mturnlund@gmail.com • If the house sparrow cannot live in a particular city, no bird can. I bet they are the dominate bird variety in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

How can a person separate the house sparrow from native species? This is not too difficult if you look for the field marks. The male house sparrow is marked by a gray and brown head, a black beak, and a distinctive black chin and bib. The breast is white to drab gray and the back and tail are brown. Indeed, brown is the dominate color associated with these birds.

The females might be a bit more difficult to identify as they can resemble other sparrow species. She is brown and gray, with a faint yellowish eye stripe that flows toward the back of the head. The female is probably best identified by its association with the male, as these birds of feather tend to flock together. If you can conclusively identify a male, any females hanging about him will also be house sparrows.

These folks do not celebrate diversity.

So how do you stop house sparrows from taking over your backyard? Good question. I do not have a single solution. Perhaps this is a problem that will require your own research to answer. For me, I use the alphabet method, which has never failed. The most important letters with this solution are “B” and “B.” As in BB. You know, BB gun. Works every time. Now, I am not heartless. Once these lowbrows begin to breed I leave them alone. But, until that happens I am on the prowl. For house sparrows, my backyard is a no-fly zone.

House sparrows, love or hate ‘em. It is hard to be neutral. By encouraging them, we ensure the demise of native species. But to expand the breeding success of native species, we need to discourage the reproduction of house sparrows.

You pick. But I assure you, you probably won’t like either choice. But until you make up your mind, happy birding!

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Page 14 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

The Game Trail

Critters in Winter & new fishing regs cutting wood than hunters, it reminds me of those frenzied squirrels. Okay, enough with the analogies, as my wife often reminds me.

Matt Haag The ungulates have to store and reserve mhaag@idfg.idaho.gov their energy as well. However, they have to store it on their bodies. When they are able Another year comes and goes like the to get good nutrition often and early, the wind, Happy New Year to all the River Journal harshness of the winter months is eased. readers! I hope this New Year brings health However, if the winter is long and cold, the and happiness to all of you and your families. amount of the fat reserves becomes a moot Additionally I hope that our critters fare well point. For example, if we still have snow on the ground, and we’re getting storms in this winter.

Old Man Winter decided to bring a good late March and early April, the elk and deer amount of white stuff to us early and a cold will be suffering. Winter range or wintering snap to boot. In late November, I had a chance habitat is crucial in those situations because to sneak away and take my muzzleloader for it will provide those critters with additional a hike in hunt Unit 4, in the hopes of finding staying power, by providing cover and proper an elk. I was walking in waist deep snow at browse. Really, when it comes down to the higher elevations, with more snow in the wildlife management, habitat is the crucial forecast, and I wondered how the elk would component to health of all wild animals. fare this year. Today, the day I type this, is Without it, we and the critters have nothing, the Winter Solstice and the full moon is out and we sure aren’t making any more of it!

Winter to a predator is season of abundant beaming across the frozen landscape in the early morning hours. The snow has receded food and full bellies... I guess that makes me in the days past thanks to a Pineapple a predator! Snow and the concentration of Express, a weather system that brings warm animals provides an easy living for wolves, wet weather. It has only been 21 days since bobcats, coyotes, mountain lions and those I packed up the muzzleloader and headed with carnassial teeth and sharp claws. Of home from the hunt; my how the weather course, we have to exclude the bears. This brings up one of the most interesting winter has changed.

So how are the critters going to fare survival techniques, hibernation.

Contrary to popular belief, bears don’t this winter? It’s really a tough question that will only give up its secret when the grass actually hibernate; they have their own begins to green and the snow goes back to a metabolic mechanisms to get through the liquid state. Ironically, the past year’s spring snow and cold. A true hibernating animal dictates the survivability of elk and deer in lowers their body temperature to just a winter months. If spring comes early and few degrees above freezing and drastically the forage is lush and green the deer, elk, decreases their breathing rate. A bear’s body and moose have a better chance to build fat goes through several changes once it enters reserves to make it through the winter. Ever “hibernation”. Its heartbeat drops from watch a chipmunk in the fall gathering up fifty-five beats per minute to ten beats per nuts and cones to make their winter cache? minute, and the bear’s body temperature will Or the spastic gathering of evergreen cones drop from five to nine degrees below normal. from a pine squirrel? Or even better yet the While asleep, the bear uses the stored frantic wood gathering by people? There are energy it accumulated as fat to survive but at a few that I see in late summer starting to a much reduced rate from a non-hibernating cut and split their wood. I know that those bear. During this deep sleep, a bear will not folks will have an easier time this winter as eat, drink or defecate for 6 to 7 months. they are building their reserves early. Then Incredible!

We all need to keep the critters in mind comes late fall and I run into more people

•

Jim and Betsy do it.

You should, too.

Don’t let winter weather keep you inside.

Inveterate hikers Jim & Betsy show you the way with weekly hike reports about life in the high country year-round. Just visit our website and from the homepage, select outdoors-hiking-Mountain Walkers.

Go ahead. Get off the couch. The views www.RiverJournal.com/vivvo/outdoors/hiking/fulling are great from the top!

when recreating this winter. Whether you are a snowmobiler, on snowshoes, or in a vehicle, please relax and let the critters have a second to do their thing. When we startle the elk and moose and make them run, they are burning those precious fat reserves that may make the difference between surviving until spring or not.

A few reminders for sportsmen in the new year. Please complete your harvest reports; they are an important component to our planning processes for the next year.

Also don’t forget to purchase a 2011 license and appropriate permits before you head the door, especially for you waterfowl hunters and ice fisherman. We have been having a stellar waterfowl season, so get out there and enjoy it before the season ends on January 14.

Also, the 2011-2012 fishing regulations are out and, in a bow to user feedback, the number of exceptions were reduced by a third. You can get a copy online here: http:// f ishandgame.idaho.gov/ f ish /r ules / f ull_ booklet.pdf Leave No Child Inside

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January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 15

A Seat in the House 2011 Committee Assignments I stated in the December River Journal that I would provide information on leadership positions and major committee assignments as a result of the Senate and House reorganization session that was held December 1 and 2.

The Senate did have changes in the majority party (Republican) leadership positions: Senator Brent Hill of Rexburg was elected President Pro Tempore, Senator Bart Davis of Idaho Falls retained his position as Majority Leader, Chuck Winder of Boise was elected as Assistant Majority Leader and John McGee was elected as Majority Caucus Chair.

The minority party (Democrat) also had changes in their leadership positions. Senator Edgar Malepeai of Pocatello was elected as Minority Leader, Senator Les Bock of Boise was elected as Assistant Minority Leader and Senator Michelle Stennett of Ketchum was elected as Minority Caucus Chair.

Senator Shawn Keough and Senator Joyce Broadsword of our legislative districts one and two retained their same committee assignments. Senator Keough (Legislative District 1) serves as Vice-Chair of the Senate Finance Committee and is also a member of the Senate Transportation Committee.

Senator Broadsword (Legislative District 2) is Vice-Chair of the Senate Health and Welfare Committee and continues as a member of the Senate Finance Committee. The Senate Finance Committee and the House Appropriations Committee meet jointly

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George Eskridge, Idaho Representative for House • District 1B You can reach and is referred to as the Joint Finance and him at 800-626-0471 or via Appropriations Committee (JFAC). email at idaholeginfo@ The House retained its same majority lso.idaho.gov party (Republican) leadership but did have some changes in committee chairmanships • and committee member assignments. The the House Judiciary, Rules and Administration minority party (Democrat) did make changes Committee.

I have been asked by many what the major in their leadership positions. Representative John Rusche of Lewiston retained the issue will be for the legislature when the Minority Leader position, Representative session begins on January 10. In my opinion, Elfreda Higgins of Garden City was elected although there will be legislative action on a Assistant Minority Leader and Representative variety of legislative proposals, the budget Brian Cronin of Boise was elected Minority will be the most significant action of this legislature.

Caucus Chair.

Governor Otter will start the process with In our legislative districts one and two, I remain on the House Appropriations his State of the State and Budget message Committee (JFAC), the House Natural on January 10, the first day of the legislative Resources and Conservation Committee session. The Governor’s budget message and the House Environment, Energy and will contain his recommendations to the Technology Committee. Representative legislature for its consideration in determining Anderson (Legislative District 1) remains on spending levels for the various agencies. The the House State Affairs Committee and the Joint Finance and Appropriations Committee House Environment, Energy and Technology will review the Governor’s proposals on the Committee. Representative Dick Harwood following day and then begin budget hearings (Legislative District 2) remains on the House on Wednesday, January 12.

JFAC has set aside about five weeks to Revenue and Taxation Committee, the House Resources and Conservation Committee allow agencies and institutions to make their and the House Environment, Energy and formal budget presentations. For the first time that I am aware of JFAC has also scheduled Technology Committee.

Representative Shannon McMillan two meetings to provide an opportunity for (Republican, District 2) defeated individuals of the public to testify on education Representative Mary Lou Shepherd (Democrat) and the health and human services agencies’ in the November election and was assigned to budgets. The testimony on education issues the House Agriculture Affairs Committee and is scheduled for January 21 and on the health and human services agencies on January 28.

Following the agencies’ hearings JFAC will begin the actual budget setting process.

This is scheduled to begin February 21 and finish on March 11. The legislature will either approve or reject the JFAC agency appropriation recommendations as they are presented to the legislature during the budget process; those agency appropriations approved by the legislature will be sent to the Governor for his approval or rejection. In the event that the Senate, House or Governor rejects a specific agency appropriation that agency’s appropriation will be sent back to JFAC for review and possible change.

Other legislative actions are scheduled in parallel with the budget setting process and when this process ends the session begins to wind down. The scheduling target for ending this legislative session is March 25.

The public is invited to follow the legislature on the Internet with both audio and video streaming on www.idahoptv.org.

Information on committee actions, legislation and other legislative actions can also be found on the legislature website at www.legislature. idaho.gov.

As always I welcome your input on issues important to you. I can be reached in Boise during the session by e-mail and by phone as listed above.

Happy New Year to all of you! Don’t forget to enter 2011 on your checkbook date space and THANKS FOR READING! George

Page 16 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

Long live WikiLeaks The news has been full of the tale of WikiLeaks, an international website that exists solely for the purpose of ‘leaking’ information that governments, and others, would prefer to see kept as confidential.

The announcement that the website was in possession of 250,000 diplomatic cables that it planned to release was greeted by a firestorm of rhetoric on both sides of the fence: those who praise the work of WikiLeaks, and those who see it as treasonous, at best.

“In a free society we’re supposed to know the truth,” opined Congressman Ron Paul. “In a society where truth becomes treason, then we’re in big trouble.”

The editor-in-chief of Wired.com is another supporter of the website. “The greatest threat we face right now from WikiLeaks is not the information it has spilled and may spill in the future, but the reactionary response to it that’s building in the United States that promises to repudiate the rule of law and our free speech traditions, if left unchecked,” said Evan Hughes.

Not all, of course, are supportive.

“WikiLeaks presents a clear and present danger to the national security of the United States,” said Peter King, chairman of the Homeland Security Committee of the United States House of Representatives.

A former advisor to the Canadian government, Tom Flanagan, went even further.

“I think Assange [one of the original founders of WikiLeaks] should be assassinated.” So did Jeffrey T. Kuhner of the Washington Times: “We

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Politically Incorrect •

should treat Mr. Assange the same way as other high-value terrorist targets: Kill him” At the heart of the matter, at least here in these United States, are concepts dear to my own heart as well: freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Without someone willing to provide information that’s not otherwise readily available, there is no such thing as investigative journalism. In the 16 years that I’ve worked with and on the River Journal, I have received hundreds of documents ‘leaked’ to me by people who felt the ‘real story’ of something was not getting out.

Trish Gannon

trish@riverjournal.com But is Julian Assange, a journalist? Is WikiLeaks the media?

Does it really make a difference?

With the advent of the Internet, we have entered a new age of information; likely, our struggles are not much different than when Gutenberg invented his press and the world was faced with the populace as a whole suddenly having an access to information unheard of before. To try to define who or what has the ‘right’ to disseminate that information today will only serve to limit what is available to a supposedly free people.

This is not just hyperbole: in response to WikiLeaks, Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell has actually suggested that we re-think the First Amendment. “I think he [Assange] needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. And if that becomes a problem, we need to change the law.”

This is not the first time the U.S. has faced a challenge to the rights inherent under the term “freedom of the press.” Daniel Ellensberg (who supports WikiLeaks) has been much in the news of late, with comparisons drawn to his leaking of the Pentagon Papers, a study of US decision-making regarding the Vietnam War, back in 1971. And in 1979, a small monthly magazine in Madison, Wisc. was in the middle of a much similar controversy. The Progressive, you see, was seeking to publish a story detailing how to make an H-Bomb. The government, in United States of America vs. The

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With those examples, it’s tempting to suggest this current controversy is not merely a tempest in a teapot but is, at worst, an opportunity being seized by a faction of government that would like to re-write both the Constitution and its Bill of Rights in such a way as to limit the freedoms inherent in the documents.

After all, the diplomatic documents in question were so “sensitive” and of such “potential harm” they were accessible to anywhere from 500,000 to 600,000 people.

And let’s not forget: Julian Assange is not a U.S. citizen. WikiLeaks is hosted on servers in Sweden, a country with a constitution that grants total protection to information providers. Should WikiLeaks even be subject to American law?

Nonetheless, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has suggested his department is looking at a number of options for prosecuting Assange; including invoking the Espionage Act. As reported by ABC News, the Espionage Act is broadly written and defines as criminal anyone who possesses or transmits any “information relating to the national defense” which an individual has “reason to believe could be used to the injury of the United States or to the advantage of any foreign nation.”

They quote Benjamin Wittes, a legal analyst with the Brookings Institution, who wrote on his blog “[The Espionage Act] criminalizes all casual discussions of such disclosures by persons not authorized to receive them to other persons not authorized to receive them... in other words, all tweets sending around those countless news stories, all blogging on them, and all dinner party conversations about their contents.”

And he added, “Taken at its word, the Espionage Act makes felons of us all.”

That is also not hyperbole. The federal government has warned employees not to read information on WikiLeaks, and to not even discuss the information posted. Some college presidents have also warned students who might be interested in a future career in government to steer clear of any contact with the controversial website.

There are some issues it is simply important enough to take a stand on, and for me, this is one. In the interest of putting my money where my mouth is, let me say I’ve looked at the WikiLeaks website, I’ve discussed the information it’s posted, and I’m doing my part to disseminate the information.

If you want to see what the fuss is all about, you can visit the WikiLeaks website by typing 213.251.145.96 into your computer’s browser.

But be aware, if you do, I may yet get to ask that ubiquitous Internet question: “What four words would you say if you woke up next to me in jail?”

January 2011||The River Journal - A News Magazine Wading Through www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 17 Worth Wading Through www.RiverJournal.com | Vol 17 No. Worth 18 | November 2008 || Page 5

Veterans’ News

Looking to a new year, and welcome to gays in the military Here it is—January 2011. The 112th Congress is now in session and soon we will start getting a clearer picture of what the new GOP numbers in the House and the Senate will produce that make it better for veterans and the rest of the American people.

I am uncertain that anything good will come out for of the 112th for veterans but being the eternal optimist that I am I will wait and see.

The 111th Congress—for all the flak they received—was one of the most productive sessions in many, many years. On items of interest to veterans we have much to thank them for. These range from the greatly improved and flexible GI Bill to an emphasis on VA Medical facilities and treatment of PTSD. Giving credit where credit is due, Idaho’s own Sen. James Risch—along with Sen. Blanche Lincoln—sponsored, and got passed, the “GI Benefits Modification” bill. This bill allows all honorably discharged veterans to use their GI Bill benefits for vocational training as well as traditional schools. See attached press release below.

December 14, 2010 Senate Approves Risch-Lincoln GI Benefits Modification Expands Benefits to Non-Degree Vocational and Training Programs Washington, DC—The United States Senate unanimously passed legislation last night to allow the use of education benefits under the GI bill for non-degree vocational and training programs. The modification, which was cosponsored by Senators Jim Risch and Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.), brings the Post-9/11 GI bill in line with prior versions of the law allowing veterans to use their benefits in a wider variety of education programs.

“This change is about flexibility. Non-degree vocational and training programs provide another option for our service men and women to develop the skills they need to make a living. They have earned these benefits and deserve the freedom to use them how they choose,” said Risch.

“The education benefits earned through the selfless service of our men and women in uniform should be structured in a manner that can best

meet their specific needs,” Lincoln said. “Since World War II, GI Bill benefits have been essential to ensuring our service members and veterans can pursue an education or gain the additional skills they need; however, we should not limit the use of these benefits solely to pursuing degree programs at traditional universities. This bill will ensure that our service members and veterans can use their GI benefits more flexibly to develop skills that are critical to our workforce and our economy, in important trades like construction, aviation maintenance, certain medical programs, and other vocational and technical training.”

Several non-degree schools throughout Idaho will benefit from the legislation including the Pro-Weld Welding School in Nampa; the Idaho Real Estate School in Boise; Northwest Lineman Academy in Meridian; the School of Hairstyling in Chubbuck; Professional Truck Driving School in Twin Falls and Sage Technical Services Trucking Schools in Coeur d’Alene, Caldwell and Blackfoot.

The modification adds no additional costs to the GI bill.

To qualify for full-tuition benefits under the post-9/11 GI bill, individuals must have at least 3 years of active duty military service. Various percentages of benefits are provided for those serving anywhere from 90 days (excluding entry level and skill training) to 3 years of active duty military service. All recipients must have an honorable or other qualifying discharge from service. Those who suffer service-connected disabilities after more than 30 days of service are also eligible for full benefits.

I will be watching our Congressional delegation closely. Our newly elected replacement for Rep. Walt Minnick, Raul Labrador, has big shoes to fill when it comes to aiding veterans’ causes. Walt was in the forefront on every issue of interest to veterans.

Congressman elect Labrador is—as is the entirety of Idaho’s Congressional delegation— not a veteran. None of our delegation has ever worn a uniform in defense of this country.

All but one are lawyers— Rep. Simpson was a dentist prior to entering politics. I find it interesting that Idaho’s veterans would choose

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to elect people who have never served. But that’s politics in the second reddest state in the union (Wyoming now owns that distinction).

Idaho is now Avis to Wyoming’s Hertz and therefore must try harder.

I cannot close this article without mentioning the Senate passage of the “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” Repeal Act. Anyone who has ever worn the uniform of the United States Armed Forces knows that gays have been in the military probably since Valley Forge or before. I served from October of 1959 until July 1980 and I am certain that there were gays on ships and stations that I served on.

I’m reasonably certain that some of the sailors in my own departmental groups on those ships and stations were gay. Did that make a difference in the performance of our jobs? Did it affect ‘unit cohesion’? Were straight guys ‘recruited’ into the gay life-style? The answer to all these questions—in my experience—is a resounding ‘NO’. As long as the individual did their job, performed as expected in all circumstances and followed the rules that was okay. Were there occasional conflicts?

Yes. But when you’re onboard a WWII Era destroyer with 250 of your ‘closest friends’ one didn’t have be gay to find conflicts.

In ‘my Navy’—about 100 years ago— things were dealt with differently. People whose hygiene didn’t meet certain standards were given ‘showers’. Shipmates who felt they needed things that belonged to you, or another shipmate, sometimes ‘fell UP ladders’.

I’ve been out so long I don’t recognize this Navy but I do know this. These young men and women, in all of our Armed Forces, are more professional—at every level—than we were in my day. And, as professionals, they will meet and handle any situation that may come up. I believe that our people in uniform are much better than they are often given credit for by their civilian leaders. A friend once told me that, “Our people in uniform are the best trained and most disciplined fighting force on the face of the Earth. They are also the bravest, until they put on their first star; then they become politicians.”

I hope that all had a wonderful holiday season and that you are looking forward to a better year in 2011. I know that at least the first quarter of this year will be good for me.

As has become my habit by the time you read this I’ll be sipping a cold beer on the beach in Mexico. All the time I’m gone I’ll be following the North Idaho weather reports with a small but genuine smile on my face.

I will also be following with rapt attention those things that affect our active-duty and veteran communities—local, state and national. I will be spending hours ‘surfing’ the Internet, seeking out things that I feel may be of interest to the readers of The River Journal.

If any reader learns of something happening in North Idaho that concerns or affects our veterans I’m only an email away. Thanks to the marvels of modern communications the world is today a much, much smaller place.

Please feel free to contact me with news or opinions. Until next month­—Hasta la vista!

Page 18 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

Physics of the Fall Line

Theoretically, the fall line is the route by which a round object will travel down a smooth slope if left to its own devices. If the slope is planar (a flat surface tipped on edge) or a perfect arc perpendicular to the horizon, the fall line will be straight. This is very rare.

In the natural world, slopes are undulous, and often have protrusions—trees, stumps, bushes, rocks, boulders and lift towers, for example. If a catalog company copywriter was describing these, they might be called “nuanced.”

Round objects do not follow straight lines down nuanced slopes. Neither will most skiers or snowboarders, though some do and others try. That’s why the good folks on ski patrol are trained in rescuing damaged people from hard-to-get-to places in the middle of snowstorms. It is also why it is a good idea, if one is going to ski or snowboard, to learn how to turn.

When one begins skiing or snowboarding, and before the turning has been learned, one may wish to avoid nuanced slopes and seek planar slopes with a low angle of deviation from horizontal. One also may wish the planar slopes to be “groomed,” a mechanical process involving large machines which reduces to nearly nil most protrusions on the slope. This is why learning slopes—or “bunny hills”—are designed as flat and wide open as possible; and also why they are groomed first and last and a couple of times in between.

Otherwise, most “bunnies” might never ever ski or snowboard again after that first hour or two.

Bunny hills still have protrusions, including lift towers, fellow beginners, instructors and various pieces of loose equipment. If it sounds like there are things to run into even on the bunny hill, there are, and the initial and all-important object of learning to turn is to avoid running into any of them. Thereby, Rule One: Nobody learns to ride or ski without falling down. Learning to fall is, in fact, part of the first lesson, even though an instructor—which I highly recommend (see Rule Two)—will say it’s learning to get up.

Falling, often willingly, is how new skiers and boarders avoid running into other objects

The Scenic Route •

and each other until they learn to turn. A new skier or boarder will find proper falling very effective— or instance, when a lift tower is hurtling at them at breakneck speed and doesn’t look like it will change direction.

Falling over is a recommended way to avoid collisions until one learns to turn.

There are nearly infinite ways to fall—I have experienced most of them—but the first, best way for beginners

Sandy Compton

mrcomptonjr@hotmail.com www.SandyCompton.com

is an on-your-butt-feet-first-into-secondbase fall. This works for skiers and boarders alike and keeps that all-important portion of anatomy—the cranium and contents—safe from collision with whatever hard object has moved into one’s path.

As learning curves—and slopes—get steeper, the launch-head-first-into-third-base fall will be learned. When this fall is learned, one should congratulate oneself and go buy a helmet. (I recommend one have one already, by the way.) When one starts sticking one’s face into the snow, it means one has learned to lean into the fall line, a primary tenet of successful skiing—and snowboarding, too.

Which brings us to Rule Two: Friends (and relatives) shouldn’t let friends (and relatives) teach them to ski, with certain notable exceptions. A patient, trustworthy friend may make a great instructor for a patient, trusting friend. However, a friend’s let’sride-to-the-top-of-the-lift-and-then-I-willabandon-you method does not work. That was my first day of skiing, after which I didn’t ski for two decades.

No one deserves twenty years of not skiing.

Students under four may learn from aunts, uncles, grandparents and even—on rare occasions—parents. I taught my nephew to ski at three, but he didn’t know me very well then—at least not well enough for outright

by Sandy Compton rebellion—and by the time he figured out I wasn’t going to eat him, he knew how to ski.

If the parent-child relationship is strained in any way, though, the communal frustration level of teacher and student fomented in the first hour of lessons might cause someone to require therapy—either immediately in the bar or in the far-distant future on a psychotherapist’s couch.

Instructor Corollary to Rule Two: One has to learn from someone, and paying a total stranger for a first lesson might be the best money a neophyte skier, snowboarder or the guardian of such could spend to begin a lifetime of facing the fall line. A moderately coordinated and somewhat fit human who takes a two-hour group lesson during which they learn the physics of the snow toys and then are willing to practice for at least a few days before attempting Death Cliff or some other double black diamond, will likely be playing on the snow for the rest of their life.

Warning: Results can and do vary.

Additional lessons may be required, depending on cold resistance, physical and mental fitness, personal courage and finances, and general whininess. Accomplished whiners, by the by, should never take a lesson from a family member, and an instructor who does undertake their snow education should be tipped well.

Conclusion: Most people never, ever regret learning competence on snow toys.

Following the fall line is an extraordinarily satisfying, joyful and grace-filled way to spend a day or part of one. To ski or board well is transcendent, for to do so is to overcome not only the fall line, but oneself; even one’s tendency to lean away from danger. Some, of course, never think of the danger, and perhaps they are the ones who will meet most often with ski patrol. And, some think only of it, and perhaps they are the ones who will give up half way through the first lesson.

But those who learn well how to turn also learn the nature and value of balance. And, I believe that helps both on and off the fall line.

No job too big. No job too small. Every job is JUST RIGHT!

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January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 19

on’t ours Or is hen on’t, we’ll

as who oil rels very rels d to rah can one und we han an

on inal irst, s of 01. sn’t who be must

ight not dent irst, nd, een can are on) ing e of

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The Patient Protection & Affordable Care Act The

Residential and Commercial Construction

Dan McMahon, General Contractor Visit us at www.mebldg.com 208.264.6700

They have ‘slipped the surly bonds of earth’ and ‘touch the face of God.’

Devil’s in the Details

I’m so sick of arguing about health care reform in the abstract. It’s time to get down to the devilish details, and, boy are they devilish! I propose to write a series of articles for the River Journal which documents the effects of the Affordable Care Act in Bonner County .

• What is actually happening?

• Will the act benefit me? How, exactly?

• Will it hurt me? How, exactly?

Do I want it to be repealed? Perhaps if we pay attention to the details, and talk to each other about what the act is doing or not doing for us, we will come to have a better idea of what we want and what we don’t want.

This, in turn, could actually help our legislators! What a concept!

I’ll start with some actual experience with my husband’s health insurance with Blue Shield of Idaho. As a result of the legislation he was offered (not required to take) a new policy. He took it. health insurance premiums went C His down by $30/month. deductible went up a couple of D His thousand dollars.

Coffelt

DEVILISH DETAIL: A deductible is not the same thing as a co-pay for doctor’s office visits or for medication. That is, some policies will pay for doctor’s office visits or medications even if your deductible is not met! Get it? (In a future article I will explain out-of-pocket expenses, which are an entirely different animal.)

Under his old policy, he had to pay the C Funeral Service

helping those who are left behind.

P.O. Box 949 • Sandpoint, Idaho

By Nancy Gerth entire cost of doctor’s visits. When he had a herniated disk, the visit to the surgeon in Coeur D’Alene cost over $300 for fifteen minutes. The same visit now would cost $35.

He also used to pay the

bill for his yearly C whole check-up. Result: the

only way he would go was if he was nagged. Now the visit is free, and so are some of the standard tests for preventive visits: like colon cancer screenings, screening for vitamin deficiencies during pregnancy, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and tobacco cessation counseling.

recently filled a generic prescription found that under the new policy it C Heand was free.

BOTTOM LINE: We will save at least $1,000 a year on office visits, premiums and prescriptions. In two years we will have made up the difference in the deductible. If we don’t get seriously ill, we come out ahead.

Hopefully having preventive check ups and tests will help us achieve this goal. If we get seriously ill, we are still protected from losing our home.

If you would like me to continue this series, have a question or a suggestion for me, or would like to contribute your own devilish detail, please contact me at: docnangee@ yahoo.com Nancy Gerth is a health researcher and grant writer, and is a consultant on Alzheimer’s care.

DiLuna’s Presents

COLUMBIA Friday, January 21 - $10 Doors open 5:30, Show 7:30

208-263-3133

www.CoffeltFuneral.com Moon Chapel Pinecrest Cemetery Member by Moon Crematory invitation only

Bluegrass

220 Cedar St. Sandpoint

208.263.0846

DI LUNA’S

Your Way

Page 20 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

E

DOWNTOWN SANDPOINT EVENTS SANDPOINT EVENTS

Don’t Miss Winter Carnival!

December January

in Sandpoint

Photo by Marianne Love

Jan. 12-17

Experience

Downtown Sandpoint!

12 KPND Ski & Board Party. Trinity at City Beach, 208-255-7558 12 - 17 SANDPOINT WINTER CARNIVAL! Visit SandpoitChamber. org for information.

13- Taste of Sandpoint, 5-8 Sandpoint Events Center.

13 Chamber Choice Awards Luncheon, 11:30, Panhandle State Bank.

13 Paint Your Own Pottery, Petal Talk, 208-265-8212 14 Bio-Luminesce Firedancers, 5:30 Pend d’Oreille Winery.

14 Rail Jam and Bonfire, 6-9, Jeff Jones Town Square, Sandpoint 14-15 and 21-22 Hospitality Suite.

Sandpoint Onstage play, Panida Theater, 7:30 208-265-2083 (eves.)

15 Family Fun Day at Evans Brothers Coffee, begins 9:30 am, 524 Church.

16- K9 Keg Pull, Eichardts, 10 am 27-29 Banff Mountain Film Festival. Panida Theater 208-2639191.

Find a complete lineup of Sandpoint Winter Carnival Events online at SandpointWinterCarnival.com

February

3 Solas, traditional Irish music, Panida Theater 7:30 208-2636139 12 The Jungle Book, Missoula Children’s Theater at the Panida

PLUS:

Winery Music - Live music every Friday night at Pend d’Oreille Winery Open Mic Blues Jam every Monday night at Eichardt’s Trivia every Tuesday night at MickDuff’s.

Visit www.DowntownSandpoint.com for a complete calendar of events

DI LUNA’S

207 Cedar St. • 208.263.0846 www.dilunas.com YOUR IMAGE, YOUR WAY www.ImageMakerPhotoandVideo.com 320 North First Ave ~ 208.263-5322

World Cuisine Night

Every Saturday night starting at 6:30 pm.

Explore different In-store Photo Studio • Film & Digital cuisines from around Printing • Video to DVD • Photo Cafe Open Tuesday- the world. Live music.

Restoration • Classes • Cameras • Friday 7 am to 3 pm Regular menu also Open weekends Camera Repair • Accessories January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1|available.

Page 21 starting at 8 am

Clark Fork Baptist Church

Main & Second • Clark Fork

Sunday School............9:45 am Morning Worship............11 am Evening Service...............6 pm Wednesday Service.........7 pm Call 266-0405 for transportation

Bible Preaching and Traditional Music

Custom Wedding & Event Supplies Dishes, linens, chairs, tables, tents and more.

Reserve early to ensure supplies on your special day.

All About Weddings 1201 Michigan St. • Sandpoint www.weddingsinsandpoint.com

208.263.9748

Colleen’s

Coffee Corner

Located at Colburn Culver Rd & Hwy. 200 •

Open M-F 5:30 am to 5:30 pm • Sat 7-2

THE SURVEY SAYS: •

Two out of three people drink coffee at work.

•

Gary’s Faith Walk

Connected to the World It was the little flyer thumbtacked to the bulletin board at the back of the sanctuary in Moscow that drew my attention.

But excuse me, I get ahead of myself. As fall turned to winter, I returned again to Poland and Russia to meet with Orthodox, Baptist, Lutheran, and Reformed church partners and mission colleagues. On that Sunday, I was privileged to worship again at the Moscow Protestant Chaplaincy (MPC), an amazing interdenominational, international, Englishspeaking congregation in Moscow. For me, MPC is what the gospel message is all about: rich and poor; black, white and brown; people from every continent; refugees, students, diplomats, business types—all gathered to worship the Lord in a community of faith.

So as the rousing South Africa hymn “Amen, Siyakudumisa!” sent us out into the world, I walked to the back of the sanctuary. It was then that the flyer caught my eye.

Neatly pinned amidst the announcements of Haitian relief and Christmas plans was a flyer describing the service of Mission Aviation Fellowship, an international mission organization based in Nampa, Idaho. Over the years, I’ve had some contact with MAF as they use aviation skills for evangelism, medical assistance, disaster relief, community development, and local training. It was then that I spotted it, the distinctive silhouette of the Kodiak, the backcountry and utility airplane manufactured in Sandpoint by Quest Aircraft and men and women who are my neighbors in the North Country.

How many times have I hiked the Mickinnick Trail above Sandpoint to look down on a Kodiak doing “touch and go” landings at the airstrip? How many times have I thumbed the glossy postcard of the Kodiak I received at a Quest open house and imagined flying over Lake Pend Oreille in this specialty aircraft?

Forty-six Kodiaks are in service around the globe. Twelve of those are with humanitarian organizations, and of those, six are in service

•

Gary Payton

gdp.sandpoint@gmail.com

with Mission Aviation Fellowship with four flying in Indonesia.

None of us as local readers of the River Journal should ever think of our home here northern Idaho or western Montana as disconnected from the world. Consider a Sandpoint-built Kodiak and its service in Indonesia: Idaho to Greenland, to Iceland, to the UK, across Europe, Southwest Asia, the Indian sub-continent, to the equator, then finally to the island of Borneo in the Republic of Indonesia. Hands that bent metal here in the shadow of the Selkirks have touched lives amidst the forests and the mountains of this distant land. And, what of the Kodiaks that responded to the emergency in earthquakeravaged Haiti? Tons of food and medical supplies were delivered to relief workers, missionaries, orphanages and hospitals in an effort to save lives and relieve suffering.

Standing in the back of the Moscow sanctuary, eleven time zones east of my home, I was again struck by the connectedness which we can feel as members of the body of Christ in the world. A little brochure, a picture or two of an airplane, and again I was carried in my mind to an Idaho mountain trail looking down on a Kodiak bush plane.

Long ago, I gave up the notion of “coincidence” in my faith walk. In being reminded of mission service in the world via a small paper flyer while standing in a church in Moscow, Russia, I am drawn again to the service of the leaders and workforce of Quest Aircraft Company. The economic downturn has been hard. The unwanted furloughs have been painful. It is my prayer for this New Year that Kodiaks keep coming off the line to serve the needs of the world and to keep us connected in ways which only the Lord can orchestrate.

Chip repair • Windshield replacement • Aquapel treatment • Window tinting

One out of two workers say they’re not as productive without coffee

•

Nurses and doctors are the top professions for drinking coffee.

So if you want to be productive at work, don’t forget to stop for your coffee!

600 Schweitzer Plaza Drive (Behind Super 8 Motel) Ponderay • 263-2600

Page 22 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

Alice Lindy Huston; and Grandpa Ernie I was asleep at home when the phone rang. When grabbing it I noticing the clock shining in the dark saying 3:30. Linda’s tiredexcited voice said they had just gone to the hospital.

Ana’s contractions were only five minutes apart and had been for over an hour. She had wanted to wait as long as possible since it was only a short drive to Tripler Army Medical Center.

Linda drove Ana and Noah’s car up to the security gate. the soldier on guard duty looked at the “Stork Pass” in the window. It gives special parking privileges to expectant mothers. Linda opened the window and held their identifications out for inspection. He looked across to Ana and anxiously said.”Are you in labor” Ana gave a grunt-growl-sheikyell, he shouted “Go!” Alice Lindy Huston had just been given permission to enter a United States military facility without ID or any questions asked.

Three days before Christmas and just a few hours after that soldier gave her permission Alice would arrived on this rock in the South Pacific we call Oahu. Surrounded by grandma Linda, close friend Amber and a regimen of military doctors and nurses, Alice looked out at her world. The only important person she did not see was her dad Noah who was out to sea in his submarine.

It was 12:18 pm Hawaii time. Her 8 pounds 4.4 ounces was packaged in 20 and one half inches of healthy body, with a little thin hair on top. She was a picture of perfection.

I suppos in the name of good journalism I need to give disclaimer. Ana is my stepdaughter and I have a very vested interest in this little girl named Alice. Okay it isn’t a disclaimer, just a way to announce a very proud and happy moment in my life.

My plan had always been to fly to Hawaii the night of the 23rd so a little before midnight I called Linda from the Honolulu airport.

She said to find a post outside the terminal with a number on it and call her back. I did and a few minutes later a car pulled up. A young man got out and the lady driving said “Hi, I’m Amber.” Derek, her husband had already grabbed my bags and was putting them in the car. I found myself, in the middle of the night, in a strange city, getting in a car with two total strangers, who took me to the hospital to see Linda, Ana, and Alice.

It had been about 36 hours since the birth, and several more without much sleep for Linda and Ana. Still, when I walked into the room there were three beautiful women, Linda, Ana, and baby Alice.

In the early afternoon of Christmas Eve, Alice came home for the first time. She was greeted by the songs of happily colored Red Crested cardinals. Gray and white with a scarlet red head and crest they sat on the fence outside the living room window

The Hawk’s Nest •

by Ernie Hawks

looking at the new baby. A tiny dark bodied bird with a red eye ring, an Akohekohe, or crested honey creeper, flew off a flower of the plumeria tree and landed on the back of a patio chair to get a better look. A pair of Zebra doves sat in a tree watching.

It wasn’t until the evening of the 27th before Noah was able to call, Linda and I left so Ana, Noah and Alice could have their first family time together. On the 28th they were able to skype so Alice and Noah could see each other. It was sad and happy seeing the wonderful loving family half a world apart doing their best to be together. A few months ago the new mom and dad had a few days in Guam. It allowed time for Noah to see his pregnant wife and feel their baby move in her tummy.

It is a season of new beginnings, days are starting to get longer, we think about another birth which many feel was the beginning of

Ernie Hawks

michalhawks@dishmail.net a religion, and baby Alice Lindy Huston is here. It is also a time when we think of peace on earth, a peace where Alice’s daddy won’t ever have to be gone for months at a time defending his country. A time when family is more important then anything else and soldiers will not need to check the ID of an expectant mom on her way to delivery.

Alice Lindy Huston 12:18 pm December 22, 2010 Ana and MM1 Noah Huston parents.

In the photos at right, Alice Lindy is all of three days old. Grandpa Ernie is... LOTS of days old. He looks scared, don’t you think? The photo at bottom is of Alice Lindy with her proud Mama, Ana Huston. Alice is wearing her Christmas dress.

There’s Hope if you need physical therapy.

There’s also Sandpoint.

Caribou Physical Therapy

Hope: 264-5067 • Sandpoint: 265-8333 www.CaribouPHysicalTherapy.com

January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 23

The Bernd Building And what you probably haven’t heard “Oh love, be fed with apples while you may and feel the sun and go in royal array. A smiling innocent on the heavenly causeway...” - Robert Graves I have failed my publisher up until now. For whatever reason I’ve been procrastinating about the Bernd building here in Sandpoint ever since I started this column three years ago. There were easier stories to write, those I knew and a number that came my way when others learned of this column. Also, even though it would be considered a very, very cold case, it does involve the witness to a possible murder. If records are still kept from the 1920s, the veracity of this account could be determined.

For the most part, the accounts are second-hand tales of occupants and of visitors to the Bernd building. What I relate here is unique, as far as I can tell. This is the story that was told to me by an elderly neighbor of ours back in the late 70s—when he was in his early 80s—about the possible source of the Bernd haunting.

My witness, who I’ll call “Andy,” and his wife, “Ellen,” who used to waitress at Lee’s Cafe in the years around and shortly after World War II, were long time residents of Sandpoint, and both are now deceased for over 30 years. While not going into detail on the history of the building, he did tell me this interesting story from when he was a young man.

After serving in the Army during World War I, Andy returned to Sandpoint and, as was the case with many young men, took up logging.

He and his wife, Ellen, were friends of my grandmother, who lived not far away. I continued stopping by to visit with Andy and his wife occasionally until his death.

Andy seemed to enjoy a younger generation stopping by to talk with an old man and often related tales of this life. One was from the 1920s.

Andy and his buddies would come to town on weekends and visit the Lincoln Hotel. Gambling, a little drinking and, on the second floor (in the building that houses the upstanding location of the current Coldwater Creek retail outlet and wine bar), ahem... distractions for healthy young men.

Many of these distractions were girls of the evening, and I do mean girls. Some were only in their mid or late teens.

Madams plied their trade to be accommodating to many a taste, from young to old. Today, some of their clients would be considered perverts, child molesters. But in the Roaring 20s, just about anything went.

Valley of

ThE

ShadowS with Lawrence Fury

Up to and including, apparently, hiring out one’s own daughter.

In recent decades, the upper floor was an abandoned labyrinth of vacant hotel rooms.

Later in the 20th and early 21st century, they were converted into apartments, offices, retail spaces and lastly, the aforementioned wine bar. Most tenants reported nothing; some, though, were driven out by strange events. An old-style claw-footed bathtub is mentioned by some storytellers, along with a girl with long, brown hair, dressed in white.

A police report from the time reported a teenage girl drowned in a bathtub, though what it didn’t report was a reason why a healthy, teenage girl would drown in a shallow bath.

Andy told me 50 years after the fact that he was pretty sure it wasn’t a natural drowning. His version of the story says the girl, tired and disgusted of the business her own mother had forced her into, revolted one night.

Andy had peeked out of the room he was temporarily occupying when he heard the rough voice of a huge, bear of a man right outside his door who quickly disappeared down the stairs. Andy saw a girl, probably 17, come out of another room two doors down. A white sheet wrapped around her, Andy considered the big man he had just seen had likely had his way with her.

The girl went across the hall into what Andy knew was a bathroom, and he soon heard water running in the tub.

Getting dressed, Andy started out the door after making payment, but backed up when an older woman came from a room at the far end of the hall and let herself into the bathroom.

A moment later came a yelling match between the girl and the woman, who was apparently her mother. The gist of the argument was the mother saw the daughter as a source of income. She chastised the girl, pleading with her they would be out on the streets, at the mercy of who knew what if she didn’t continue in the business. The girl, however, continued to refuse. Sudenly there came a splashing sound and, after a minute or so, utter silence.

Suddenly, the mother fled the bathroom and hurried down the hall into the room she had come out of, slamming the door behind her. Al quickly left, and his direct knowledge

of events ends there.

A few hours later, shortly after sun-up, he and his fellow loggers were heading to the cafe for breakfast before leaving town when they saw the police at the Bernd building. In town the following weekend, he heard that the woman had told authorities that she had found her daughter’s body in the tub upon awakening.

Considering the known nature of the residents of the Lincoln hotel, the police did only a cursory investigation and listed the cause of death as accidental drowning.

As to the validity of this account, I cannot say it is anything more than an elderly man’s tale to amuse a friend and neighbor. As to why he hadn’t stopped forward, I felt it was obvious—he had been engaged in an indiscretion of his own. All parties are long dead, no evidence, no witnesses... none alive, anyway.

This illustrates, however, that just because you hear reports from all levels of society these days, attesting to the barbarism of people, it does not indicate we have a modern monopoly on such happenings. It’s just that today, there is mass media’s 24hour news cycle of reporting.

Not to mention that decades ago, some things were, let’s say, swept under the rug for the best interest of the community’s reputation?

An excellent story on the supernatural side of the Bernd building was written by David Gunter, and appeared in the October 31, 2010 issue of the Bonner County Daily Bee. Entitled “Ghostly Tale Lives on Downtown,” you can read it here: http://tinyurl.com/26x7242.

Ray Allen is available for private parties, special events, restaurants, etc Jazz standards and pop tunes. Solo on guitar and vocals. Also booking for the Monarch Mountain Band, great bluegrass and newgrass

Call 208-610-8244

Kinnikinnick Page 24 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

From ThE

Files

of The River Journal’s

SurrealisT Research BureaU The Weirdest News Stories of 2010 A notebook found during the search of a suspected pimp arrested in Los Angeles included these jottings for self-improvement and expanded business opportunities. 1. Take care of my bitches better. and 2. Find other ways to “work my Ho’s”.

In other “Ho” related news Body Armor Company CEO David Brooks argued at his trial for tax evasion that his company’s hiring of prostitutes and escorts for upper management staff and board members was a legitimate business expense because it made employees “happier and more productive.”

In Terre Haute, Indiana recently the main highway through town was closed for three hours when a semi truck full of fire extinguishers caught fire and burned to the ground.

by Jody Forest

Congress underwrote 7.9 billion dollars in tax-free bonds to help New Orleans rebuild after Hurricane Katrina but to date, while 5.9 billion dollars worth have been sold, less than one percent has gone to New Orleans.

Twenty-nine percent of it (1.7 billion) has gone to the oil industry.

A Bedford, Penn. district court judge has resigned after offering a defendant a lenient sentence if the accused would allow the judge to shampoo his hair. Judge Charles Guyer later resigned and apologized, saying he didn’t know what had gotten into him.

And in my own two favorite stories, the town of Avon, Colorado held a contest to name the new bridge over the nearby Eagle River and it was duly christened “Bob the Bridge.”

Also, the Governor of the Russian Republic

of Kalmykia recounted in May that he’d been abducted by aliens and has since been communicating with them telepathically.

Finally, in cryptozoological news, a new species of lizard, some six feet long, has been discovered in the jungles of Luzon, in the Phillipines. For more info you can check out the website www.cryptomundo.com. Another cool website is www.forteantimes.com. For Weird News websites simply google “Weird News” and a few should pop up. You can also listen to Jonny Knight’s radio show on KPND Monday through Friday at 9:50 am every morning (95.3 on the dial) where he gives a wrap-up of strange and weird happenings. ‘til next time, All Homage to Xena!

Got Talent?

• Auditions for the FOLLIES will be held on Monday, January 24 and Thursday, January 27 • Call Gail at 208-266-0503 to schedule a rehearsal time.

• This year’s Follies performances take place on March 4 & 5 January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 25

DARRYL GENE SNYDER September 17, 1957 - December 17, 2010. Born Bismark, ND. rew up in North Dakota, Montana, and Post Falls, Idaho; moving to Sagle, Idaho in 1992. Worked in the auto parts industry, prior to becoming disabled.

Coffelt Funeral Home, Sandpoint, Idaho.

Get complete obituaries online at

www.CoffeltFuneral.com RUSSEL “JACK” COOKE February 6, 1934 - January 2, 2011. Retired Sandpoint Motors mechanic. Obituary pending.

HELLMUT ERNST FEUERBACH April 3, 1927 - December 26, 2010. Born Oberursel, Taunus, Germany. He came to America in 1957, living in Cerrito, California. In 1990 he moved to Sandpoint. He had worked as a photography lab technician in Germany and delivered meat in California.

PHILLIP LINDSEY COLE May 30, 1922 - December 16, 2010. Born Casper, Wyo., attended Multnomah College, married Mildred Parkinson. Served in the U.S. Army, WWII. BS in Civil Eng. from Oregon State. Joined Corps of Engineers, was Chief of the Engineering Div., North Pacific Division. Retired in 1980, joined CH2M Hill, retired 1987 and moved to Lake Pend Oreille. Father of two.

FREDERICK LOUIS YANIK SR. May 26, 1934 - December 14, 2010. Born Numine, Penn., married Phyllis Smith, served in the U.S. Army, Chief of Police Bear Lake, Penn., moved to California, worked for General Motors and ran a sweeping service. Retired to Sandpoint in 1994.

Father of three.

ROBERT EDWIN “BOB” WOOD August 28, 1921 - December 12, 2010. Born Topeka, Kan. Moved to Gold Creek area in Sandpoint in 1940. SHS graduate class of ‘41. Married Bernice Spahr. Served in the U.S. Army in WWII. Raised hay and cattle. 1967 Bonner LARRY WAYNE WALLIS Co. Grassman, 1983 Bonner Co. Beef Family. Served on March 11, 1950 - December 26, 2010. Obituary pending. Fair Board, chairman over 18 years. Drove school bus.

Father of two.

ISOBEL VICTORIA STUBBERED BENDA October 27, 1922 - December 23, CAROLINE LOVELL VINCENT July 25, 1915 - December 8, 2010. Born Oak City, 2010.Born Glendive, Mont. Moved to Utah. Married Reed Vincent. Lived in Salt Lake City Ponderay, Idaho 1938, SHS graduate and Woodburn, Ore. Worked for Birdseye Food. Moved class of ‘39. Married Russel Benda, to Sandpoint, Idaho in 1971. Helped manage a dairy lived in Washington and Coeur d’Alene, farm. Kept a journal since she was 12. Mother of four. returning to North Idaho in ‘52.Was Ponderay postmaster. Retired in ‘88.

VIVIAN ETHEL TURNER JACOBSON Mother of five.

February 15, 1914 - December 7, 2010.

Born Terlton, Okla. Moved to Sandpoint MELVIN GLENN MARTIN in 1928. SHS graduate. Married Alvin August 26, 1927 - December 21, Jacobson; married for 71 years. Mother 2010. Born Walthill, Neb., joined of three. Enjoyed gardening, embroidery, U.S. Army serving in Korea. crafts, reading, huckleberry picking and 1947 hitchhiked from Nebraska canning. They lived on their farm, on to Sandpoint and started working as a Colburn Culver Road, their entire married life. logger. Married Peggy Shuster. Worked construction and logging, retired 1987.

CURTIS MITCHELL FOURNIER February 28, 1989 - December 4, 2010.

Father of three.

Born Lewiston, Idaho. Moved to Bonner County and attended school. Worked at 41 South and Fournier Construction. Enjoyed working on his truck, hunting and fishing.

KENNETH WARREN PATTERSON June 4, 1948 - December 26, 2010. Obituary pending.

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

Lakeview Funeral Home, Sandpoint, Idaho.

Get complete obituaries online at

www.LakeviewFuneral.org DALE MELVIN DRUCKREY July 14, 1949 - December 29, 2010.

Born Neenah, Wisc. Married Cheryl Carriere. Master carpenter and outdoor photographer. Spent 20 years in Colorado, moved to Idaho and formed Pinnacle Relocation Services. Passed of a sudden heart attack.

KENNETH LESLIE WILLINGER November 2, 1942 - December 25, 2010. Born Brooklyn, NY, high school basketball star. Played ball at Colby College, graduated UC Berkeley with degree in Clinical Psychology. Married Wanita Magnell, worked as psychologist in Hawaii. Worked for the state and U.S. Navy on drug and alcohol abuse. Taught at Leeward College. Moved to Sandpoint, Idaho in 2003, volunteer grief counselor for Hospice.

JAMES NORMAN “JIM” ANSPACH November 18, 1942 - December 16, 2010 Born Olympia, Wash. and grew up on Orcas Island. Married Bernita Flaherty. Raised horses, cattle and founded Orcas Excavators. Owned cattle ranch in Ellensburg, Wash.

(1980). Married Ginny Hansbury. Retired in 2004 and moved to Garfield Bay in Sagle, Idaho. Father and step-father of seven.

CARMEN DARLEEN BROADFOOT NORSTOG September 29, 1947 - December 12, 2010. Born in Pendleton, Ore. and settled in North Idaho as a young woman. Worked for Panhandle Special Needs. Married Paul Norstog, mother of four. Had a strong faith in God. ROGER LEE GROSSMAN December 10, 1942 - December 4, 2010. Born Fort Benton, Mont., graduated Fort Benton High School, graduated WSU with degrees in zoology and agriculture. Served 6 years in the Nat’l Guard. A farmer in the Yakima Valley and owned Curley’s Tavern. Married Deborah Hall. Moved to Clark Fork, Idaho in 1991. Father of three.

It’s a new year. The time has never been better to quit smoking.

In Idaho, Panhandle Health District offers free help to quit smoking including general adult consultations that include two 1-1 1/2 hour appointments followed by telephone support. Consultations are by appointment. Call 208415-5143 or those in Boundary, Bonner, Shoshone and Benewah counties can call 208-415-5143 for resources and referrals.

Page 26 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

From the Mouth of the River “The taking of the waters,” is a saying quite familiar in the Midwest and southern states, especially in the early days when people used to seek out hot springs and mineral baths whose make up of hot sulfur water would mysteriously bubble up from the ground and form into pools. It was believed that bathing in this water would cure most ailments. Just a few days soaking in this hot water and you would feel like a new person and smell like rotten eggs, and as always with any medication, if it tastes bad and smells bad it’s got to be good for you.

Leave it to American ingenuity to figure out that people would pay for the privilege.

And besides, if we gotta pay for it, it’s gotta be worth it. The fact it was free to start with seemed to go over their heads.

Of course, hard working people always had sore muscles and stiff joints and soaking in hot mineral water for a few days would make anyone feel better, but drinking this stuff was a whole other thing.

A lady friend of mine familiar with the statement of, ”taking of the waters” and a long-time bather her own self reminded me just the other day of this one time cure of all ailments by the “taking of the waters.”

It seems this all started back before Indians had casinos so their medicine man would send there ailing warriors, crippled and sick to take of the waters, by telling of the great spirits that bubble to the surface, while releasing green and yellow gasses that would take away their afflictions.

Of course, the price he would charge was heavy, maybe a horse or two,

a young bride, or a woman who could cook and chew the fat from hides, if she still had teeth.

When the white man found out about these healing waters they soon traded the Indians out of their secret medicine ponds by giving the Indian the white man’s medicine, AKA “white lightning.” It took all the pain away until the effects wore off, then beat your head like a drum.

Even here in the Northwest there’s several places to “take of the waters.” There’s just something about soaking in a hot pool deep enough to get submerged in that’s comforting, unlike most bathtubs where you only get half of your body under water at a time. Of course, it’s the part of the body that needs soaking the worst, which brings up another subject: When “taking of the waters,” one has to remember, you’re now bathing with a tub or pool full of like-minded people who have sicknesses you don’t know about, even lesions, as well as open sores as I witnessed in a well advertised hot springs just up in Canada.

In the South where I grew up, taking of the waters is almost a religious thing.

People believe it can cure almost anything.

Older, hard-working farmers with arthritis, lumbago, colds, flu, mental fatigue or just plain wore out will “take of the waters,” or “take the cure” as they say.

Drinking of these waters seams to be just as important as soaking in them. People will bring all the containers they have at home to carry water back to drink a small glass each day for as long as it lasts and if someone they know is traveling to the hot springs, they will send jugs to be filled.

These man-made large stone pools are being filed by overflowing smaller pools that are closer to the source and hotter; bubbling fountains everywhere to drink from. I always wondered if that water was pumped from the pools or from its own source.

Schools would take busloads of kids there on spring break for a day of swimming in warm, clear water. You see, most of us kids swam in muddy creeks and clear water was a novelty for us. In fact, our drinking water at home wasn’t

Boots Reynolds

that clear. But the best part was, we got to swim with the girls, and to see parts we as boys were unfamiliar with.

Nowadays people with means can have a hot tub cooking on the deck and can take a plunge whenever they get the notion and like most toys, as soon as the newness wears off you just have an expensive rat and mosquito trap with an occasional drowned cat or coon in it.

With all of the above being said and brought to your attention I have come up with a money-making scheme you might be interested in. As you know, the job market has taken it in the shorts and there is not much for investment nowadays; even Chipmunk Falls is down to selling rocks to Californians.

SO, here’s the deal: We will apply for a grant and use matching funds as an investment in penny stocks from all who have a piggy bank.

We will haul rock from Chipmunk Falls over to Hanford, Washington and build a hotel/motel combo with huge swimming pools and hot tubs, campgrounds with hookups etc, etc.

We can siphon hot nuclear water free from the plant for people to soak in and drink as a cure for cancer. We can dilute it with river water depending on how severe their cancer is. Now we have a whole new industry with an ever-growing line of clientele just dying to take the cure. We will hold an investment meeting down at the old watering hole, date and time to be set later. I got twelve dollars to buy beer or invest with: Chemo-savy?

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January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 27

Scott Clawson

acresnpains@dishmail.net As it got closer to Christmas, I started trimming my options of all the trees I considered possible candidates for gracing our living room during the holidays; some because the snow was getting too deep, others for the fact that they looked better where they were at. Still others because they simply weren’t mine.

I finally settled on one in that no man’s land called a right-of-way.

Back in the late 80s/early 90s I picked on the Bayview Road just inside the Kootenai County line for its magnificent stand of well developed, 10’ firs growing out of the ditch and starting to crowd the road. Then I read where it was illegal to do such a dastardly, underhanded thing so I decided to start looking closer to home. That summer they had those trees mowed down, presumably to keep me from enjoying such a convenience anyways.

So I keep an eye on my roadside trees as they develop, year by year, into possible choices themselves. I prefer to have a tangible reason for cutting down a nice healthy conifer other’n to decorate my living room for a few weeks in December. If I can show ‘just cause’ then my guilt trip is a short one.

If not, then I feel pretty silly starting the new year out by offering one of my very best trees to the “Goddess of Slash Piles and Forest Management Theories.”

Lately, I couldn’t help droolin’ over several particularly nice blue spruce crowding each other and the ditch not too very far from my front door. It’s a veritable hedge of 10-foot to 15-foot spruce trees so close together one could easily bleed to death trying to harvest the beer cans that sprout up every spring along our road. I determined one of those roadside beauties had to be invited up to our

place for the holidays.

My plan relied heavily on the cover of darkness. This was to be a clandestine operation, for in ‘broad daylight’ I’d be subjected to queries, comments, hand gestures, full or partial moons and even some hairy eyeballs. There’s also enough lead flyin’ around here on any given afternoon without me stirring things up.

On Friday, a week before Christmas, after work, chores, dinner and dishes, I put on my boots, gloves, hat and a light jacket. Eightthirty, overcast and almost as dark as the inside of a cow, I grabbed my light saber and pruning saw and headed down my drive. I also figured everyone should be snug in their homes by that hour and I’d have our road pretty much to myself. Just me and the ‘nocturnals.’

Just over a half mile away stood my prize intended. An easy walk to be sure as I had thought to bolster my astute woodsman abilities with four or five hot brandies.

Confidence was high. So was I. My wife said, “Good luck. I’ll leave the light on for ya.”

With that, I headed out through a couple inches of fresh powder.

“Crap! When did this start?” I wasn’t counting on leaving a trail. “If you hurry, the snow will fill it in,” the brandy intoned. “You betcha!” I replied.

Halfway there I noticed headlights making the corner aglow. Not wanting to have to explain what the hell I was doing out in the dark with a pruning saw and cheap Star Wars memorabilia, I wedged myself into a thicket of jack pine, unloading a canopy of snow in the process. Now, being almost identical to the snow bank in front of me, I feared not detection. I did, however, consider the chance of frostbite as one of my nipples was on its

tippytoes tryin’ to get out of the fresh powder cascading down my collar and under my thermal, v-neck shirt.

I heard a rig rumble past but couldn’t see it through all the snow pack between my glasses and my noggin.

Back out on the road, I shook off and staggered in a westerly direction until I got my specs cleared and noticed the corner glowing again. I already had snowmelt in my ears and navel as well as a tributary running down the small of my back, making my butt muscles do involuntary gestures. I had to force myself back into the trees this time but had the presence of mind to give a mighty kick to their trunks first. Initially this seemed like a wise idea, but the wind direction played a bigger role than anticipated and I got camouflaged again.

Did I mention I had previously bolstered my woodsman-like abilities?

I finally made it to the corner but not before I took a few more trips into the trees and realized the whole neighborhood could be out Christmas shopping.

Standing in the intersection, I de-iced my glasses again and squinted around for my soon-to-be-ornamented blue spruce. And there it was, hugging its relatives and trying to look inconspicuous.

I got the bright idea to jump the ditch so as to avoid making obvious tracks and get any passerby to think it was just another alien abduction, which would be nothing out of the ordinary for this neighborhood. Sorta like the Bermuda Triangle, but us locals like to call it “Ring Around the Athol.” I backed up a couple paces, trotted forward like any confident broad jumper would and made a perfect ‘snow angel’ on the side of the road. Now I was beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

There was even ringing in my ears!

Page 28 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| January 2011

I found my pruning saw twenty feet back the way I’d come but my light was (and still is) playing hide ‘n’ seek. “Hell, I could do this blindfolded anyway!” So for sport, I pulled my stocking cap down over my face and crawled in under the object of my yuletide desire.

Right off I noticed a tingling in my ears and realized it wasn’t snow or even brandy, but cold, sharp needles caressing some of the tenderest skin I own and confiscating my hat at the same time.

I also noticed the size of the trunk and concluded it might be a long way back to my living room! Both my hernia and lower back agreed and began lobbying for a Buddhist conversion. Ten minutes of furious grunting produced a lot of sweat and a little sawdust, not to mention a bound up saw, so I sat down, took in enough oxygen to hopefully finish what I was doin’, put a boot against the tree and let off enough gas to heat Cocolalla for a week. I laid back listening to the echo and waited for dissipation.

Five minutes and several choice words later the tree gave up and fell over into the road.

That’s when I heard voices and they weren’t comin’ from my conscience. I sat up from my brief happiness and tried to get bearings on this approaching conversation. I could barely see the road in front of me, let alone any details beyond that and for some reason there weren’t any cars running around for night lights. The voices were in ‘un-Doppler’ mode. Company was coming! I thanked my lucky stars.

It was all I could do to limit my verbal excitement to whimpering uncontrollably through clenched teeth as I reached out and pulled a 200 pound spruce over me in the ditch. To pass the time I replayed what I could remember of the last scene in “The Pit and the Pendulum,” which didn’t help much. What did come in handy was having glasses on, for any exposed skin with less than four layers became one large pin cushion. The feel of a spruce hug is now indelibly etched upon my mind. A little old fashioned karma coming down on me, you might say.

I was in the process of repenting when laughter broke my concentration. I looked for some humor but found only irony. More laughter and this time I recognized it as belonging to my neighbor and fellow member of the North Idaho Nail Bender’s Guild, Vic, with his wife Linda, out for a quiet evening stroll.

“Great! If they see me pinned under this tree, I’ll never hear the end of it,” I muttered between whimpers.

I could hear the light padding of boots going by, then stopping. Linda said, “What’s wrong?”

(I could hear sniffing, deep and analytical.) “Do you smell that?” Vic muttered. It’s either a gutshot moose or our septic is acting up again!” I almost offered a third possibility, but held on to it for obvious reasons.

I took a short nap and waited for them to get home. Endorphins were making me giddy.

Once I managed to get free of my burden, the process of delivery became a little clearer.

I stood up and pulled the butt of my tree into the road and realized more traffic was probably a safe wager. I decided to set goals (something I normally don’t do) and picked out a break in the snow bank about 50 feet away where I could conceal myself if need be.

Roughly 2,000 calories and a host of “Ouch!” es later, I concluded the first of many goals.

Headlights again illuminated the area so I stood up my Christmas ‘cactus’ and backing into the snow bank, redefined the notion of a ‘live’ tree.

My next goal was a considerable distance away, which might entail the burning off of some belly fat, and for once in my life I was glad to have some handy.

I’d noticed my trail was painfully obvious in the headlights that had just gone by so I tried walking the tree upright. This was obviously painful, prompting me to give up on concealing my tracks and just get on home before I managed to ‘bleed out’ completely.

Lights again appeared around the corner, now far enough away that I wasn’t all lit up (like a Christmas tree), so I climbed the berm and with Herculean effort pulled the tree up with me. I was ecstatic for the opportunity to

reactivate an old hernia or maybe create a new one. That is, until a small but formidable twig went directly up a startled but well-chilled nostril, which retreated like a bare ass from a hot stove, taking most of my available balance along as witness.

“Once again, Ollie, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten me into!” An old line but useful in my predicament.

As I lay there behind the snowbank, half encased in powder and with the other half in pain, I could hear a truck turn and go up Lazy Spade Lane, leaving me in the dark with my thoughts of joyful holiday magic.

It was a good thing I’d brought along my laptop (I strap it to my midsection to keep my belly warm and also to deflect stray bullets)! So I peeled it off my belly, typed up this confessionary nonsense and emailed it all to Trish, who has probably added a few typographical errors before sending it off to be published herein.

Having said all that, will some kindly dear reader come ‘n get me out from under this tree? Anybody! I’m really thirsty and need to go pee something fierce!

I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

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January 2011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 20 No. 1| Page 29

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