Riverjournal may2014

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A News MAGAZINE Worth Wading Through

Local News • Environment • Wildlife • Opinion • People • Entertainment • Humor • Politics

May 2014 | FREE | www.RiverJournal.com

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Please give generously.

Look for our volunteers on Memorial Day in Sandpoint at Safeway and Super One, and in Ponderay at Yoke’s Fresh Foods Reach veterans’ services for Bonner County at 255-5291

ATHE NewsRIVER Magazine Worth JOURNAL Wading Through ~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811 www.RiverJournal. com•208.255.6957

STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility Trish Gannon-trish@riverjournal.com

Ministry of Truth and Propaganda Jody Forest-joe@riverjournal.com

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash.

509.534.3625 Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2014. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho.

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3. NEW PONDERAY PET SHOP SERVES AS OUTLET FOR SHELTER Panhandle Animal Shelter gains a major friend in finding homes for unwanted pets.

4. SOLAR ROADWAYS OPENS DEMO PARKING LOT Sagle’s Scott and Julie Brusaw take a tangible step in their dream of paving the nation with solar panels.

5. IT’S TIME FOR HUMMINGBIRDS These busy, humming bits of happiness are a sure sign of spring.

6. BEE A FRIEND: MAKE YOUR HOME A POLLINATION STATION! Nancy offers tips for attracting mason bees to your backyard.

GET GROWING 7. BREWER’S BLACKBIRD For Mike, “spring arrives on the wings of birds”... particularly this one.

A BIRD IN HAND 8. GET READY FOR SPRING Matt is happy to report that this spring, the kokanee have returned. So go fishing!

THE GAME TRAIL 9. WE’RE BACK! Winter break was lovely, but it’s time to create something worth wading through.

POLITICALLY INCORRECT 11. CALENDAR

3

4

12. PRIMARY ELECTIONS In May and June, we choose candidates in primary elections.

Remember to vote!

13. WHY IDAHO HAS A HEALTH INSURANCE EXCHANGE George says the legislature’s voted for an exchange to keep local control. A SEAT IN THE HOUSE 14. CAIRNS ALONG THE WAY Gary reminds us to pay attention to the markers on the path. GARY’S FAITH WALK 15. WITH HER, NOT FOR HER Ernie grapples with the path he walks at Linda’s side as she confronts cancer. THE HAWK’S NEST 16. THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE PERCENT Let’s remember the small amount of people who work to protect our freedoms for all. VETERANS NEWS 17. A CURMUDGEONLY RETURN Sandy keeps up his end of the bargain, but he’s still a little grumpy.

THE SCENIC ROUTE 18. RUMBLINGS FROM THE OXFORDIAN UNDERGROUND Jody comes down on the side of deVere. SURREALIST RESEARCH BUREAU. 20. MAY IS FOR MAYHEM One more reason to sympathize with Scott’s mother. SCOTT CLAWSON

Cover: Hummingbird photo by Ernie Hawks. Kokanee graphic by Idaho Fish & Game.

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New Ponderay Pet Shop Serves as Outlet for Shelter It’s been years since the animal shelter serving Bonner County determined to go the no-kill route and find homes for all the unwanted dogs and cats—companion animals—in the area, and if you haven’t been by there in a while, you would be amazed at what they’ve accomplished. Mandy Evans, Executive Director at the Panhandle Animal Shelter, was proud to share what they’ve managed to do, along with some stunning numbers.

“Right now, we average about 50 to 60 dogs,” she said—and that’s per day. Fifty to 60 canines, from puppies to senior adults, brought to the shelter by one means or another, where they stay until a loving home is found for them. The numbers for cats (and kittens) are even more staggering: “our lowest days on cats are about 60, but on our highest days we get about 200.”

If those numbers boggle your mind somewhat, what’s even more surprising is they represent a drop in the number of unwanted animals in the area, and that drop can be laid at the door of, among other things, the shelter itself.

PAS has undertaken many innovative programs in order to deal with the issue of unwanted animals, with a lot of focus going to the spaying and neutering of existing pets. This includes the ones they adopt out of their building on Kootenai Cut-Off Road in Ponderay, but they also provide funding for low-cost spay and neuters to existing pet owners in the county.

“People who are receiving some form of government assistance,” Mandy explained, “can get a spay/neuter for as low as $20.” The price depends on the type of animal, its age, and its reproductive status (that is, an animal in heat costs more to have fixed).

PAS is also hoping to receive a grant that will cover costs of going door-to-door in selected areas of town, identifying feral cats to be fixed, and offering coupons to owners of sexually active dogs and cats who contribute to the problem of unwanted animals.

They have also implemented several programs designed to ensure that the animals adopted from the shelter remain in the homes of their new parents. These programs ensure that so-called “problem animals” are trained in appropriate behavior before leaving the shelter, and also identify the best fit between an animal and a new home. These tactics have resulted in a drastic decrease in the percentage of animals who are returned to the shelter after being offered a home.

The shelter has achieved such success, in fact, that it’s now reaching out to shelters in Kootenai County to share their tips for success, and even accepts animals from outside the county when necessary, though Mandy says they ensure they always have room to take in local animals.

Another program that many may not be aware of is their effort to match senior animals with senior citizens—and senior citizens in financial need can often adopt a senior pet at no cost whatsoever. “It’s ridiculous to say that poor people somehow don’t deserve the love and companionship of a pet,” Mandy explained, and this shelter is committed to making that happen wherever it’s feasible.

These efforts could potentially have been derailed when a new pet store opened in Ponderay at the Bonner Mall, but shelter was happy to learn it was national chain Petco that would be opening up shop. Petco is known for its support of adoption animals, and manager Dan Schwartz began working with Panhandle Animal Shelter long before the store opened to ensure that the mission of finding homes for unwanted animals

had the full support of the store. How that works in practice is that cages in the store holding cats “for sale,” are actually housing shelter cats that are available for adoption. And every Saturday, shelter representatives are on hand with available dogs, so that someone walking into the store looking to purchase a canine companion can go home with a forever friend from the previously un-homed animals available at the shelter. “We’re very happy with this partnership,” Mandy said. “Very happy.

Having a large organization that everyone recognizes supporting your program is a huge benefit, that brings people in the doors.

We’ve already met customers at the store who didn’t know we had an animal shelter just down the road.” Several animals have also been adopted out from the store. “This is, in every sense, a true partnership.”

Petco is open in the Bonner Mall from 9 am to 9 pm Monday through Saturday, and 10 am to 7 pm on Sunday. The Panhandle Animal Shelter, at 870 Kootenai Cut-Off Road in Ponderay, is open from noon to 5:30 pm Monday through Saturday, and noon to 4:30 pm on Sunday. Pet adoption fees can range anywhere from $20 to $150, and include spay/neuter surgery, first vaccinations, deworming, and microchip implantation, so that if your pet is ever lost, it can be easily identified and returned to you. Obedience classes are also provided for dogs.

If you’d like to support the shelter but not adopt a pet, visit their website at pasidaho.org for the many ways you can do so.

-Trish Gannon

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May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

Solar Roadways Opens Demo Parking Lot It was back in April, 2007 when The River Journal first introduced readers to Sagle’s Scott and Julie Brusaw, and their little dream to pave American highways with solar panels to help mitigate the effects of global warming. This month, the duo unveiled the tangible product of their vision: the nation’s first solar-powered parking lot.

There have been a lot of steps between dream and product, but the Solar Roadways vision got a solid grounding from a U.S. Department of Energy grant, which was used to build a prototype that led to a contract to build this first-ever parking lot—now located just a little south of Sandpoint in the tiny metropolis of Sagle (pop. 5,182)—in time for Earth Day. The idea—which Scott described in a talk for TedX Sacramento (viewable on YouTube)—was to use at least some of the almost four million miles of public roadways in the U.S. to generate power for our population of almost 314 million people.

While most anyone might have thought of such a plan, it took Scott, an electrical engineer, and Julie, a psychologist, to take the next step and figure out how the idea could become reality.

Just how do you make a solar panel that can hold the weight of a semi-truck and trailer, and stand up to the wide range of temperatures and snowfall found throughout the U.S.? Those are the questions Scott and Julie are answering now, with a prototype available where Doubting Thomas’ can visit and see and touch the reality.

Solar Roadways has been generating a lot of press with what is, on the surface, a simple idea, but what Energy Digital has

called “one of the greatest infrastructure innovations of the 21st century.” If successful, it will not only help to address the problems raised by climate change but, in Scott’s words, it can serve as a “tourniquet” to the “open, gaping, gushing wound that is global warming.”

The next big step will be to take Solar Roadways from prototype to manufacture, and for this step, the Brusaws are not looking for traditional grant funding or capital investment. Instead, they are hoping to crowd-source the effort via a campaign on Indiegogo; yes, they’re hoping to raise a million dollars by May 31, and if that sounds like a dream, so did making roads out of solar panels just seven years ago. If you’d like to help the Brusaws to take this next step, you can visit their campaign online at Indiegogo.com/ projects/solarroadways, and support it with one dollar or with thousands.

-Trish Gannon Photo below - Scott Brusaw shows how his solar parking lot can stand up to the weight of a tractor. (Photo courtesy Solar Roadways)

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Bonner Mall • Open 7 Days a Week • 208.263.0010 May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

It’s Time for the Hummingbirds How you can attract these bright messengers of spring to your yard

Everyone, it seems, has their own favorite harbinger of spring. For some it’s the sight of those first crocuses peeking their heads through the snow; others see spring when the glacier lillies appear in our wild places, while quite a few count it spring when the days stick around longer than the nights—regardless of the temperature or the type of precipitation falling from the sky. But for quite a few people in our neck of the woods, it isn’t really spring until the hummingbirds reappear from their winter sojourn in Central America. Rufous, ruby-throated or Calliope, there’s no local hummingbird specie that residents are unwilling to attract through various means. And if you want dozens of little buzzing birds humming the song of spring to you on your own front porch, it’s time to get those feeders out.

While it might seem that there’s nothing easier than hanging up a feeder and filling it with a little sugar water—and doing so will attract more hummingbirds to your house than seems possible—if you’re truly interested in keeping these birds around then keeping those feeders clean is crucially important.

Feeders should be cleaned every single

time they’re refilled. Soap is not necessary (and there is some evidence that the birds don’t care for the taste of soap residue) but hot water is essential and, if there is any trace of mold (black spots), bleach. In addition, it’s generally recommended that you scrub your feeders at least once each month with bleach and water.

While a group of hummers can empty a feeder quickly, discard any syrup that appears cloudy, a sign that the water is fermenting, as fermenting sugars can kill these friendly birds. The recommended water/sugar ratio is one part sugar to four parts water; in nature, the nectar produced by the hummingbirds’ favorite flowers averages about 21 percent sugars.

And about that sugar: white sugar works just fine for hummingbirds, and arguably better than the “natural” sugars you buy at health food stores. That’s because the less-refined turbinado, or “raw cane” sugar can have a much higher iron content than white sugar, which can be fatal to hummingbirds. Never put honey in a hummingbird feeder either, as it can ferment rapidly, and red food coloring is also unnecessary, and may well be detrimental to the birds’ health.

By the way... bees and wasps will also

be attracted to your feeder, and they particularly like the color yellow. So if there is any yellow on your feeder, you might want to paint it a different color before you hang it. The bees and wasps will likely find your feeder anyway, but there’s no sense in drawing a bulls-eye on it if you have it located close to your house.

Despite the way a feeder will attract hummingbirds, nectar is only a portion of a hummingbird’s diet—like most birds, they need protein, and they get it by eating insects and small grubs.

If you’re willing to put a little more work into attracting hummers to your yard, consider planting a hummingbird garden, or even just adding plants they will appreciate. As an added benefit, most will also provide a food source for bees and butterflies.

There are a huge variety of plants that appeal to the little creatures, so check with your local nursery to learn about which are most appropriate for your growing zone.

Anise hyssop is an interesting perennial to plant for hummingbirds, said to grow well in our predominantly Zone 6 area. It has a spiky, lavender flower that grows at its top, grows between 3 and 5 feet tall, and its branches give off a mint/ licorice scent. As a bonus, the flowers are edible and can be added into your spring salads or brewed into a tea. And while I’m not quite sure I believe it, the plant is said to be resistant to deer, a trait most gardeners in this area will appreciate.

Other perennial flowers favored by hummingbirds that grow well in our area are bee balm, lupine, penstemon and columbine. The secret to a successful hummingbird garden, however, is to choose a variety of plants that bloom at different times throughout the season, ensuring a steady source of food for these busy birds. Again, your local nursery professional is your best source for information on what and when to plant.

So if you’re ready to jump on the hummingbird bandwagon, mix up some nectar or grow your own, and get ready to welcome the return of these delightful, humming, speedy birds from their southern sojourn.

Trish Gannon Photo: Anise Hyssop by Magnus Manske, Creative Commons.

May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

Get Growing!

Nancy Hastings

They are feverishly flying off to work every day and helping to put a lot of nuts, fruit and vegetables on our table. They are the great pollinators, the honeybees and mason bees, and although deceptively small, their success or failure can effect the fate of America’s harvests and sting you in produce aisle pricing.

There has been much talk in the last few years about the marked decrease in honeybees across the nation and the main focus of this problem is Colony Collapse Disorder or CCD. Annual losses of hives from the winters of 2006-2011 averaged about 33 percent each year, with a third of these losses attributed to CCD by beekeepers. Some research has pointed to the use of pesticides as one source of the collapse of the hives, but no consistent evidence points to any single factor, and the combined stress of new pathogens and parasites in the colonies has brought about a shortage of honeybees for pollination in the nation’s growing regions.

Professional beekeepers begin their great migration in February in California, pollinating almonds and strawberries, before the bees are trucked north to Washington state for the apple and cherry orchards. As summer arrives, these great semis of hives move to the Dakotas to aid the alfalfa, canola and sunflower crops before making their honey. Some fear these honeybees are just overscheduled and collapse from logging so many miles.

BEE a Friend: Make Your Home a Pollination Station!

Another weakness points to lack of diversity in nectar and pollen in feeding areas and droughts that have limited the honeybees’ and mason bees’ access to water.

Most of us home gardeners just want our few fruit and veggies to produce and there are some easy steps we can implement to encourage pollinators in our area, without going out and buying a beekeeper suit! Introducing these plants into your perennial plantings will help the development and sustainability of pollinating insects: Pieris, asters, borage, alyssum, penstemon, lavender, salvia, Kniphofia – Red hot poker, Scabiosa–pin cushion plant, oregano, fennel, GaillardiaBlanket flower, Rudbeckia, Echinaceaconeflower, Buddleia-Butterfly Bush-, Asclepias-Butterfly weed and Monarda-Bee Balm. (Note that most of these plants will also serve to attract hummingbirds and butterflies as well.)

Mason Bees are becoming more popular to home gardeners because they do not require elaborate hives, and do not sting. Honeybees sting instinctively to protect their hives and honey. Just like a pro, you can buy mason bees to release at various stages to begin your great harvest by keeping the bees in the refrigerator and timing them with your blossoms in your orchard and veggie garden. Before releasing your mason bees you will want to either buy or make a small nesting box to position under an eave of a morning sun, south- or eastfacing wall so the females can come back

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to a nest to lay eggs for next year’s mason bee population. Mason bees naturally seek out holes made by woodpeckers and other bugs that bore into wood for them.

It’s easy enough to make your own clean nest for them with a 10-inch chunk of UNTREATED, 4x4 dry post and drill three, half-inch-long holes with a 5/16 inch drill bit. Hang it high enough and protect from other predators with chicken wire.

These clever pollinators are called mason bees because after the female is done laying her egg, she seals the hole with mud to protect her offspring ‘til it develops next spring. You can help the momma by leaving a bucket of mud or digging a hole in the ground near your nesting box and keep a fine, clay silt mix wet (but not too wet) so she can efficiently get her holes sealed. Too hard of mud and the newborns cannot chew their way out of the tiny holes.

In Late October, move your block to an unheated garage and protect in a ventilated box from mice or in a refrigerator. The cocoons do not like to go much below 32 degrees. If you do not use a nesting box with straws, you will want to drill a fresh block for next year’s mason bee nest and throw out the hatched block in June, since the small, long holes cannot be properly cleaned and will encourage parasites. The most serious mason bee cultivators actually take the cocoons out of the straws and clean and store them for winter separately.

If not eaten or killed by pesticides, the female mason bee collects pollen and “works” about 5-6 weeks before expiring, completing about four nesting holes with an average of five pollen/egg/mud cells in each one. BEE a friend to nature and try to introduce some of these pollination ideas to your neighborhood. More information can be found at the Washington State University website: http://county.wsu. edu/mason/gardening/Documents/ OrchardMasonBees.pdf Nancy Hastings grew up on a 300+-acre farm and now is co-owner of All Seasons Garden and Floral in Sandpoint. She and her husband John have been cultivating community gardens and growing for 16 years in North Idaho. You can reach them with garden questions or sign up for classes at allseasonsgardenandfloral (at)gmail.com.

May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

A Bird in Hand Michael Turnlund

The return of the migratory birds to our region is my favorite harbinger of spring. These birds are better at announcing the arrival of spring than the calendar or the weatherman. It doesn’t matter the equinox and what is technically spring, nor what it looks like outside—snow flurries, gray skies, cold weather—these birds know. Spring arrives on the wings of the returning birds.

What a delight it is then to hear that first t-zherr song (thank you, David Allen Sibley) in my backyard.

Brewer’s Blackbirds don’t perch at my bird feeder; instead, they prefer to pick from the grass the seeds and whatnot scattered to the ground by the thriftless House Sparrows.

First there is a single pair in my yard, then a couple more, and soon there are more than my threeyear-old granddaughter can count.

My backyard gets filled with their distinctive. metallic-sounding calls.

The Brewer’s Blackbird was named by John Audubon for his friend, the famous American ornithologist Thomas Mayo Brewer.

Audubon first encountered this bird in his travels over the northern Great Plains.

Originally, this bird only ranged over the western region of modern-day Minnesota, but it followed the expansion of agriculture both westward to the Pacific coast, and then later northeastward into Wisconsin and then up into Ontario.

Today, this bird spends its summers up through central Canada and from the American Midwest to the Pacific coast.

Migrants will spend their winters across

Brewer’s Blackbird the continent from the American South to California, though many are year-round residents in much of the American West.

This is a beautiful bird, especially the male. As its name indicates, the

dominant color for the male is black.

But when seen in the sun, a much richer and deeper combination of colors is revealed, with midnight blues and violets to iridescent blue-greens. Stunning! One can understand why its earlier common names were “Glossy Blackbird” or “Satin Bird.” He also sports a distinctive yellow eye. The female is a study in contrasts with her covert browns and black eye.

Brewer’s Blackbirds eat mostly seeds and grains, but like many of our summer visitors they also eat many insects while

they’re plentiful in summer. These are also fed to their hatchlings, as they are rich in protein—just the ticket for rapidly growing bodies.

The Brewer’s can be a colonial breeder, in small groups, or even individual pairs. They normally build a nest of grass and twigs, strengthened with mud or cow dung, and then lined with finer materials or hair. It is often placed on the ground, though they might also build it in a small bush or even in a tall tree. They sometimes even choose a cliff side.

The female chooses the nesting site and it can vary from year to year.

To the trained eye, the Brewer’s is distinctive and easy to identify, but to the novice it is common to confuse this species with the European starling. They are easy to differentiate if one looks for common field marks. Whereas the male Brewer’s sports a yellow eye, the similar-sized starling has a black eye. Conversely, the Brewer’s has a black beak; the starling’s is yellow. Also, note the fine white spotting for which the starling gets its name. The Brewer’s has also a much longer tail. The female starling resembles the male, which contrasts with the Brewer’s. Sometimes the best way to identify a female Brewer’s is by her association with the male.

There you go: now you’re an expert!

Get out there and strut your stuff and mark your life-list with confidence. And keep safe; remember, birding is not for sissies. Happy Birding!

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May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

The Game Trail

Ready for Spring

Matt Haag

Spring is here...

I think? It’s a time of a renewal and the woods are coming alive again, the trilliums are blooming, and the morels are popping through the warming soil.

It’s a wonderful time to spend in the woods watching the transformation. If you’re not into bear, turkey or mushroom hunting, then dust off those rods and hit your favorite fishing hole.

The fish are biting if you are hitting the right spots, and at the right times. If not, at least it’s an excuse to get out of the house and procrastinate on the honey-do list. There is a great variety of fish in the sloughs and backwaters this time of year including crappie, smallmouth bass and largemouth bass, perch, and bullhead catfish. It’s a great opportunity to get the kids out, teach them the fundamentals of fishing and have instant positive reinforcement when they catch a fish!

Additionally, some of those fish can arguably be the best-tasting fish we have around, and you can teach the kiddos how to fillet a fish properly. Anybody can hack away at a trout and call it filleting, but you need some skill to get the best meat out of a crappie, perch, or bullhead catfish!

While I’m on the topic of fishing, there’s some exciting news on the kokanee fishery in Lake Pend Oreille!

Continued improvement of the Lake Pend Oreille kokanee population has our fisheries biologists considering an increase to the harvest limit. The kokanee population has responded well to intensive efforts to reduce predators. Lake trout have been dramatically reduced thanks to angler harvest and lake trout netting efforts, and as a result, survival

of juvenile kokanee has increased and the population has significantly increased.

Jim Fredericks, our Regional Fishery Manager, announced we are considering an increase from the current limit of 6 to the general regional limit of 15 per day. Last fall, an estimated 1.2 million mature kokanee survived to spawn, which made it one of the highest spawner returns seen in the past 40 years and was about a four-fold increase from 2012. All indications suggest there should be even more mature fish in 2014. The kokanee population is back to being at or above the level it was in the 1980s and ‘90s when the kokanee limit was 25 per day, so it appears the fisheries can at least support a 15-fish daily limit.

We monitor the kokanee population by midwater trawl netting and hydroacoustic surveys. The population surveys, in combination with an angler creel survey running throughout 2014, will enable biologists to closely monitor the population as well as angler harvest.

If for some unseen reason the kokanee population experiences a dramatic crash, we can reverse the daily limit and adopt a more conservative daily limit.

If you have any comments regarding the change in bag limit please contact Jim Fredericks via email at jim. fredericks(at)idft.idaho.gov, before May 10. If an increased limit is supported by anglers, IDFG staff will present the idea to the Commission at their May 14-16 meeting. If approved, the rule would be effective immediately so stay tuned.

For those of you who still have hunting on the brain, don’t forget May is the month to get those applications for controlled hunts submitted. The period to get the applications in for controlled

hunts on deer, elk, pronghorn, fall black bear, and fall turkey starts May 1 and ends June 5. You can apply at any IDFG license vendor, and IDFG office, and with a credit card by calling 1-800-55HUNT5, or online at our website fishandgame.idaho. gov.

I know I remind you all every spring about bears and their very predictable behavior. If you invite them to a free meal on your property by leaving garbage, bird feeders, dog food, and chicken coops out and available, they will come and cause property damage, along with the possibility of human injury. Only you can stop the bears from engaging in harmful behavior by removing any attractants. Now is the time to bear proof your home. I don’t care where you live in Bonner County, it’s bear country! For the newcomers, get used to the bears and learn to live with them. For pointers on things you can do to live harmoniously with local wildlife. please call the Regional Fish and Game office in Coeur d’ Alene at 769-1414.

Get a copy of the regulations, register your boats and ATV’s, grab the kids, and head out the door for some fun.

Remember to obey the laws, respect the land, and please clean up after yourselves.

See you out there!

Leave No Child Inside... take ‘em fishing.

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CALL FOR APPOINTMENT 208-263-1208

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Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

Politically Incorrect

Trish Gannon

Anyone who owns a business can tell you it’s not always what it’s cracked up to be.

There are nights when you work until the wee hours of the morning, and days that begin in those same wee hours. The concept of “weekends” or “vacations” often remains just that —a concept. And if you’re a small business, especially in North Idaho, then it’s likely you’re never going to get particularly rich. There are compensations, of course, but in those wee hours of the morning, or when money is tight, or when you’ve gone way too long without a break, they can be hard to see.

In December, in response to just those types of pressures, I announced The River Journal was going on vacation, and would take a break from printing for the remainder of the winter. There were many who wondered if we’d ever come back, including those of us who write in these pages. But for the past 20 years, in

We’re Back!

all its incarnations, The River Journal has been, first and foremost, a labor of love, and that hasn’t changed, even on days when the love is felt more in hindsight.

So here we are, back again with you the reader, back again with advertisers who like what we do and believe in it enough to part with their hard-earned money in order to make it happen, back again with writers who are somewhat refreshed (or not), and ready to get back to sharing with you the stories of this beautiful watershed in which we live. Winter is in the rear-view mirror— despite the snow that fell this week— gardens are being refurbished, maps are poured over and new hikes plotted, and we are joining in with all the rest of you to work on, and enjoy, all that makes this place such a great place to live.

That vacation, however, was nice, even if I didn’t get the time off I had hoped I would, so I’m thinking there’s a good chance you’ll see The River Journal

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taking a break early next year as well.

There is value in taking breaks, a value we too often overlook, consumed as we are with getting on in our lives. We all need a little downtime in order to appreciate exactly what it is we’re living for—to enjoy children or grandchildren, to hunker by the fire, to dream our dreams, or just to catch our breath so we can wake up and do it all again.

Thanks for waiting patiently for us.

Thanks for your phone calls and emails, letting us know that you really wanted us to come back. Thanks for picking up this issue and finding out if it really is worth wading through. And thanks for helping to make our communities what they are, for making this a place we want to share.

Trish Gannon Clark Fork, Idaho

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I buy, sell and repair Auto, Truck, Marine and ATV batteries May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page

May 17-20 in • Sandpoint, Lost theIdaho 50s

May 15-18 • Sandpoint, Idaho

Hot Cars Vintage Car Parade, downtown Sandpoint, 6 pm Friday Car Show - Saturday 9:30 to 3:45

Hot Music

3/4 of the Million Dollar Quartet (Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash) Thursday 7 pm, Panida Theater $30 (Doors open 6 pm)

Rocky & the Rollers with Sting Ray Anthony (Friday night) and Leslie Gore & the Teenagers (Sat. night) show & dance at the Bonner County Fairgrounds, 7:30 Friday and Saturday (doors open 6:30 both nights). $30 each night

Hot Moves Street Dance,

Friday, immediately after parade, hosted by Bashful Dan, FREE!

Aspirin Rally Run, Sunday, 5k run 10 am, Car Rally at 11:30 am.

Questions Tickets: Call 208-265-5678 or 208-263-9321 • www.Lostin50s.org Page 10 | /The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth(LOST) Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

SAVE THE DATE! Sandpoint’s Farmer’s Market is now open! Wednesdays 3 pm to 5:30 pm, Saturdays 9 am to 1 pm at Farmin Park downtown.

May 17 - Sandpoint Classic Aircraft Show 10 am to 2 pm at the Sandpoint airport.

Admission is free.

Silverwood Theme Park is now open for the season, and the Boulder Beach water park will open May 31. Visit SilverwoodThemePark. com for info.

May 15 - Lineup announcement for the 32nd annual Festival at Sandpoint Summer Concert Series, taking place Aug. 7-17.

Visit FestivalAtSandpoint.com.

Coming up at your award-winning

Bonner County Fairgrounds

• Horsemanship Clinic May 10 in the indoor arena 9-4 • Pre-Fair scheduled for Bonner County Schools May 22 and 23 • Bonner County Play Day Series June 14, July 19, Aug. 9, Aug 30 & Sept. 14. Day awards, Hi-Point Saddle & Series Awards.

May 24 - Pend d’Oreille Winery Tasting Room End of Era Party - the last day at 220 Cedar. 5 to 8 pm with live music by bluegrass band Bare Grass 24-25 Priest Lake Spring Festival - 9 am to 3 pm in Coolin. Bake sales, 60-vendor arts and crafts fair, food booths, quilt display, Saturday parade, kids carnival, charity auctions and four walk/run races on Sunday. Admission is free. peckycox.com/springfestival.

Photo by Keith Currie

VETERANS’

STAND DOWN Saturday, June 14 Bring your military/VA ID or DD214

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May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page 11

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Upcoming Primary Elections IDAHO MONTANA

The primary election in Idaho for state and county offices will be held on Tuesday, May 20. To vote on the Republican ballot in this election, voters must be registered as a Republican.

If you have been registered with a different party, you must have changed your registration by March 14 to vote as a Republican this year—it’s too late to do it now. If you were a previously unaffiliated voter, you may change your registration up to the time of voting: simply tell your poll worker that you wish to register as a Republican. The Democratic party is allowing for any voter to vote on the Democratic ticket, regardless of affiliation. However, you may only vote on one party’s ticket in the election. You may also choose to vote on a Constitutional or a non-partisan ballot; note, however, that you may only vote for candidates registered for that party.

The non-partisan ballot only allows you to cast your ballot for judicial positions.

If you are not yet registered to vote, you may do so on election day. Please make sure you have a valid driver’s license for identity purposes. All voters, in fact, must present a valid ID in order to vote in Idaho.

Polls will be open from 8 am until 8 pm and a list of polling places is available on the county’s website at http://co.bonner. id.us/clerk/elections.html.

In Montana, primary elections for state and county offices will be held on Tuesday, June 3. According to the Sanders County Clerk’s website, “Montana law provides for an open primary, in which the party choice of the voter is kept secret. At the polls the voter is given a ballot for each of the major parties, then the voter may vote one of the ballots.

Generally, only major party candidates are nominated through the primary election. Independent and minor party candidates are nominated by petition, although the law provides a process for minor party candidates to qualify for the primary ballot.”

Polls will be open from 7 am to 8 pm. A polling place in Montana with less than 400 registered voters must be open from noon until 8 pm, or until all registered electors have voted. A list of polling places is available on the Sanders County Clerk’s website at http://www.co.sanders.mt.us/Clerk_ Recorder.aspx.

“Every election is determined by the people who show up.”

-Larry Sabato

“Ernie Hawks has the gift of sharing his wilderness experience and spiritual insight in a way that nourishes the soul of his readers. This is more than a collection of adventures. It is a book of spiritual inspiration.”

Marilyn Muelbach, former Chair of Unity Worldwide Ministries

Every Day is a High Holy Day available mid-May on Amazon.com

Page 12 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

A Seat in the House

Rep. George Eskridge

May 20 is “Primary Election Day” and candidates for elected offices have been participating in numerous forums, expressing their positions on issues and answering questions from the forum participants.

One issue that has been significant for the legislative candidates, including myself, is the Idaho Insurance Exchange that the legislature approved last year.

Some legislative candidates are stating that if they are elected, one of their first actions will be to support repeal of the state health exchange. They feel that passage of the Idaho state exchange was just giving into the federal Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). They argue that by repealing the exchange it would help defeat Obamacare.

I supported the Idaho Health Exchange and offer the following as reasoning for my support: Because Idaho Governor Otter and many members of the legislature (including myself) were opposed to the Affordable Care Act we were one of the first states to file a lawsuit challenging the act’s constitutionality; however, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against Idaho and other states that challenged the act.

Like it or not, Obamacare is the law and only Congress can repeal the law or amend it; state legislatures do not have that option. We could repeal the state insurance exchange legislation but then the default would be the federal exchange.

The decision by the Supreme Court left every state wotj one of two choices: to develop its own state-run exchange or default to the federal government’s health insurance exchange program.

Those states that chose not to implement their own exchange, either because they wanted to “nullify” the law or just plain ignore it, are now in the position of having their citizens subject to an exchange implemented and controlled by the federal government. There is no state that doesn’t have a health insurance program being implemented!

Idaho’s Governor and legislature opted to choose a state-run health insurance exchange that would limit the federal government’s control and could be designed to meet the particular needs of Idaho citizens.

The federal exchange has experienced

Why Idaho has a State-Based Health Insurance Exchange significant technical problems while our program has operated fairly well. Even though we have had to use the federal website to initiate the program, we will soon be entirely independent of the federal program.

Idaho is second in the nation per capita for plan selection and we have one of the lowest cost exchanges in the country. While other state residents are charged a 3.5 percent premium tax to fund the federal program, Idaho has been successful in keeping its fee at 1.5 percent.

We have kept control of the program in Idaho. Our program is run by a board comprised of Idahoans that are charged with the responsibility of solving problems that may arise with the exchange and are accountable for the operation and transparency of the program.

We pick those who are designated as navigators to assist consumers in understanding the exchange program and we retain control over their actions.

In many federally run states, entities such as Planned Parenthood are receiving payment to act as agents of the program.

As an example, in Montana where they opted for the federal exchange, Planned Parenthood received $295,604 to help implement the exchange. Idaho does not use Planned Parenthood; we use partners that observe our conservative values.

Idaho’s plans are all approved and regulated by our own Department of Insurance and must comply with Idaho law. For instance, Idaho’s plans follow Idaho law prohibiting abortion or abortion related coverage.

Idaho citizens signing on to the state exchange have 146 different medical and dental programs to choose from to better meet their insurance needs.

Idaho has also kept insurance agents and brokers as the main source of information for those subscribing for coverage through the exchange.

Personnel assisting citizens in applying for insurance have had background checks similar to FBI background checks and have received training to help people compare rates, evaluate benefits and understand any premium assistance that might be available.

More importantly, while the federal exchange requires detailed personal

information in order to access the federal exchange, Idaho citizens are allowed to browse plans and check rates anonymously before signing on to a specific insurance plan.

In summary, Idaho’s choice was never between a state-run exchange and no exchange at all. The Supreme Court denied us that option; it was only a choice between a state run program that could be designed specifically to meet the needs of Idaho with as little federal government control as possible, or an exchange that was totally under the control of the federal government.

I believe Idaho made the right choice!!

As always, feel free to contact me with your thoughts on the health insurance exchange program or other issues important to you. My home phone is (208) 265-0123 and my e-mail is geskridge(at)coldreams.com. My mailing address is: P.O. Box 112, Dover, Idaho 83825.

And, welcome back River Journal and the opportunity for your readers to once again “Wade through the Journal” to find articles that they find interesting and timely.

THANKS FOR READING!!

George

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May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page 13

Gary’s Faith Walk Gary Payton

Cairns Along the Way

How often have my hikes in wild places been aided by rock cairns someone assembled to mark the way?

Maybe the cairn was only three stones piled atop one other.

Maybe it was a mini-tower carefully crafted over time. But no matter the size, a cairn can keep you on the trail, alert you to a new direction, or simply suggest you’re still moving along the path you’d hoped to follow.

Six months have passed since my last column. I trust the respite has been good for Trish Gannon and The River Journal. I know it has been good for me. And, in my faith walk across half a year, the trail has been marked by cairns, markers that have aided my spiritual journey.

Last fall, the World Council of Churches, a fellowship of over 340 denominations in 110 countries, asserted boldly, “Victims of climate change are the new face of the poor, the widow and the stranger that are especially loved and cared for by God (Deuteronomy 10:17-18). When creation is threatened in this way, churches are called to speak out and act as an expression of their commitment to life, justice and peace.”

For Christmas, my wife gifted me with another work by Bill McKibben, environmental leader, writer, and sometimes Methodist Sunday School teacher. In “The Comforting Whirlwind: God, Job, and the Scale of Creation,” the author calls us to humility in the face of Creation and to wake up to our destructive tendencies toward that Creation.

In the depths of winter, I snuggled in warm covers with our 6-year-old grandson and 3-year-old granddaughter. The

ELECT

Steve Johnson

children were listening attentively and taking in the pictures of the marvelous “Wump World” by Bill Peet. One illustrated page shared images of off-worlders landing on the bountiful land of the gentle Wumps. “These were the Pollutians from the Planet Pollutus. They had left their worn out planet to start a new life in a new world.” What world am I and my actions leaving for my grandchildren? In the decade of the 2060s, when they are my age now, how dramatically will their lives be touched by climate change and what actions can I take now to ameliorate the impact on them and those they love?

And across the months, the Washington State Department of Ecology courageously outlined the scope of its future Environmental Impact Statement for the proposed coal export terminal at Longview on the Columbia River. The EIS will take into account coal dust, diesel particulate, water and air quality issues along the route from Montana, Idaho, into Washington, as well as the impact on our region of that coal’s combustion (CO2 and mercury) in Chinese power plants.

My spiritual journey is a hike to an unseen destination. The route is sometimes smooth and sometimes very rocky. There are switchbacks and occasional descents before the trail pitches up again. And, in my humanness, I sometimes stop to catch my breath before heading out again. I rejoice, however, that along the way there are cairns which guide my feet. Some revealed through scripture or wisdom literature. Some revealed by prophetic voices of religious or secular leaders. Some shared with me by the people I love and hold most dear, no matter their age.

The cairns bring me back to the trail when I have wandered.

They guide me in the journey toward deeper relationship with God and a gentler relationship with all that inhabit our Earth.

Simply put, it is the hike of a lifetime, and it continues.

How goes your journey? And, the cairns along the way?

Bonner County Commissioner District 1 Democrat

“Idaho Families are Idaho’s Future” Steve Johnson was raised in North Idaho.

He’s a farmer, home builder and educator who lives and works on the family farm. “If it’s good for Bonner County families, it will be good for Bonner County. Vote STEVE JOHNSON for Bonner County Commissioner District 1 on May 20.

PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT STEVE JOHNSON May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page 14

The Hawk’s Nest Ernie Hawks

Not For Her But With Her

Sometimes the first time I hear or know of an idea or concept is when it is “all worded up” and coming out of my mouth. This may be because I am an incurable smart-ass who never put certain filters into place. Often, this can be a source of consternation for me and can give Linda an opportunity to exercise her eye-rolling muscles. However, sometimes it is an inspiration that has some quality to it— even some power.

This happened a while back when Linda and I were snowshoeing across Bridal Lake in the Canadian Selkirks. The sky was a clear bright blue; the color you can only get when over six thousand feet. We walked in two feet of soft white powder over a base of several feet setting on the ice of the lake.

We were relaxing and celebrating after Linda finished her chemo and radiation treatments. We did it by getting away.

Treatments had started about three months before and had been quite an ordeal. It was a daily process that caused discomfort—even pain—to Linda’s skin and the inside of her mouth.

Shortly after her diagnosis I got a call from one of my good friends. He said this situation we were facing comes under the “In sickness and in health” clause in our vows. I pretty much rejected that idea because it sounded like some kind of duty or sacrifice on my part. Even then I was not feeling I was reacting out of duty. I did not feel like a victim or a martyr, yet I was doing what needed to be done, as it appeared to me.

Another good friend sent me a message saying this is a nine on the take-care-of-me scale. I wondered how I would do that, too.

As we got further into the procedure, some of our friends and supporters said I was “handling it” like a hero. I could never get comfortable with that either; I didn’t feel like a hero.

Still, as we worked through the protocol I could not put a description to how I felt about my part of the undertaking.

There were a few times when I was able to feel myself becoming a whiney butt and I knew I needed to get out of my way. I usually called one of our supporters and worked my way back to simply being. Simply being was all I could call it at the time.

Finally, we did get through it all and that is why we were high in the mountains of British Columbia. It was as we were trekking on our last day there I heard something come out of my mouth I do not remember giving any thought or plan to.

Linda, just a few days out of treatment and not fully recovered from its effects, was snowshoeing in the trail I broke.

She needed to stop often to deal with her fatigue and the elevation. She isn’t used to needing to do that so it took some discipline on her part. After one of those stops she told me how she appreciated my patience with her; she even sounded a little

apologetic. That is when I heard myself say, “I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it with you.”

It struck me as soon as I heard it. The phrase was perfect for what we were doing at the time and it also described my part of our journey through cancer treatments.

We are two very individual people who have chosen to be one couple. That means in a very important part of our lives we are one. When I heard that comment it started to make sense.

For us, and our relationship, there was no other way to do it—I did it with her.

Curiously, as I followed that thought process, I realized I agreed with my friend when he said this falls under the “In sickness and in health” clause of our marriage. I just didn’t know what that clause meant before. It isn’t out of duty, it isn’t a sacrifice, I am not a martyr or a victim or a hero. But it is how I was able to take care of myself at a level of nine as suggested.

All I did was love. One of the lessons of this journey just may be some of the answer to that mystery we call love.

Ed. Note: We’re happy to report that Linda is currently in excellent health and doing well.

May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page 15

Veterans’ News

Gil Beyer

Recently I had occasion to spend seven quality hours in and around concourse ‘B’ at the Denver Airport. There were two separate high points during that sojourn.

The first was a leisurely, two-hour lunch— no need to rush—at ‘Elway’s Restaurant.’

The second occurrence was much briefer but more memorable.

We were killing time around the concourse when a young man approached us with his hand extended. He was dark haired and slender with a big smile on his face. It is a sad commentary on contemporary American life that my first reaction was suspicion and a little paranoia. I fully expected him to say, “Have you heard the Word?”

Then he said, “I want to shake your hand Chief.” I had completely forgotten that I was wearing the NWU (Navy Working Uniform) cap I had purchased in Florida last year. Turns out the young man was three years into his first hitch.

He thanked me for my service and I thanked him for his.

The encounter was brief but made an impression on me. I’ve been retired from the Navy for almost 34 years—13 years longer than I served. I’ve seen revolutionary changes in the very structure of our military and I’ve seen that military become an almost invisible subculture within America.

Adding together all the currently serving men and women in our armed forces and all surviving veterans from all our wars, the total number would represent less than 1 percent of the U.S. population. Most Americans don’t even have a family member in the military.

Our active duty service members predominantly live in enclaves close to operational bases scattered around the world.

This ‘All Volunteer’ military is unique.

From the very beginning our warriors have been our relatives, neighbors and friends. The men of entire communities marched off to defend our nation starting with Concord and Lexington. This tradition continued through the years.

The big changes came after Vietnam. The national mood was such that to all intents and purposes, the Selective Service System ended. As a nation, we shifted to volunteers to defend us.

The overall result of this is “out of sight, out of mind.” We, as a nation, don’t think much about the small number who keep us safe from our nation’s adversaries. The average American spends his life paying no attention to the

A Valuable One Percent concerns of our military personnel or their families. We have a small segment of our population that bears the awesome responsibility of defending the other 99plus percent.

Most Americans only become aware of our military personnel when tragedies take place, such as occurred at Fort Hood, Texas recently. After incidents like that the average American’s reaction is to shake their head and move on to the box scores of some sporting event. It’s the military’s problem, not theirs. That attitude is wrong. We elect leaders who set our national priorities and those priorities have tended to ignore our veterans and our active duty men and women for far too long.

The fact that many of these warriors are eligible for SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) is a sad

Stand Down at the Bonner County Fairgrounds Saturday, June 14 commentary on the priorities of our elected leaders. The fact that inadequate resources are dedicated to the support of our military personnel and the veterans of our conflicts is unconscionable. The rationale given by these leaders is that we can’t afford the high cost of the benefits we promised those men and women.

But we say we can afford all the military hardware sold by the contractors. That is ludicrous on its face.

We must honor the commitments we made to these men and women regardless of the monetary pain it may cause. All those who benefit from the sacrifices made in their name should recognize this fact and ‘nan up!’ I’m tired of listening to members of Congress fomenting military incursions in all corners of the world but refusing to authorize a dime for the needs of our veterans. It is way past time to make some changes in our national priorities.

On the local front we have a “Stand Down” scheduled for Bonner County on Saturday, June 14 at the Fairgrounds.

Quoting Bob Rutherford, “As you already know, the Stand Down serves a very important role in helping needy veterans

in North Idaho. None of these veterans made a conscious decision to become needy; and, as bona fide war veterans we know better than anyone that NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND, EVER.” Anyone interested in volunteering for set-up prior to that date, or in any other way should contact Bob at 255-2650.

In the ongoing effort to bring all our fallen home the Defense POW/MIA Office announced earlier last month that the remains of two more Americans unaccounted for since World War II have been identified. They are: • Army Pfc. William T. Carneal, 24, of Paducah, Ky., who will be buried April 25 in his hometown. In mid-June 1944, the 27th Infantry Division landed on Saipan as part of the Allied strategic goal of securing the Marina Islands. Carneal was reported killed in action on July 7, 1944.

• U.S. Army Air Forces 2nd Lt. Verne L. Gibb, 22, of Topeka, Kan., will be buried April 23 in Leavenworth, Kan. On Oct. 23, 1945, Gibb was piloting a C-47B Skytrain on a routine cargo mission from Burma to India. The aircraft, along with three other crew and two passengers, was never seen again.

Now I’ll make my pitch for people to come and ‘Shake Their Cans’ on Memorial Day, Monday, May 26. We’ve been doing this for several years now. Every penny raised goes to support local veterans.

Most of the funds raised go to provide the DAV van services that transports area vets to their appointments at the Spokane VA Medical Center. Call me at 208 265 0950 or email vintage40(at)frontier.com if you want to volunteer.

In closing I’d like to encourage action on two fronts: One: That EVERYONE get out and vote in the upcoming primary elections.

It can’t be a participatory democracy if everyone doesn’t participate. After all if we don’t participate we have no grounds for complaining about who’s in office in January.

Two: That all veterans remember Senate bill S 1982, The Comprehensive Veterans Health and Benefits and Military Retirement Pay Restoration Act of 2014, was effectively killed with the complicity of Idaho Senators Crapo and Risch earlier this year. This bill was the most comprehensive veterans’ legislation introduced in decades. All veterans should remember this when they vote in May and November. There are better choices to represent veterans out there.

Page 16 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

The Scenic Route Sandy Compton

In spite of my warnings and admonitions, the Calm Center of Tranquility (CCOT) has decided to continue The River Journal (TRJ). Because I’m a sucker for the underdog and always have been—a sucker and an underdog—I will continue also. The deal stands that I made with Dennis Nicholls a billion years ago in a galaxy far, far away; before GW, 9-11, and the Tea Party; before Congress and corporate America began to exhibit blatant terminal cranial analitis; before I became a curmudgeon: I get to write anything I want.

Since suspension of operations, a number of people asked if TRJ was going to restart and I told them about my warnings and admonitions to the CCOT. Most have gone away nodding their heads and saying, “I understand,” or something like it. But, they weren’t happy. Nobody was saying, “Well, it’s about damned time.”

But it is about damned time, the CCOT tells me, to get something written if I want to be in the reborn TRJ. In accordance with the deal I made with Nicholls a billion years ago, this doesn’t necessarily have to be good. But, I will try my best.

Since Nicholls and I made our deal, the planet has become even more of a place where the arrogance of the few threatens to destroy the planetary home of the many, and theirs as well. “Screw the future. Let’s get rich now!” should be emblazoned on their corporate flags. It reminds me of stories of what happened in the bunkers of Nazi leaders

Clark Fork Baptist Church

A Curmudgeonly Return of Germany as the Allies closed in. When it didn’t matter any more and the end was apparent, morals fled and obliquity reigned (yes, you may pause to look that up).

“Anything goes,” became the order of the day.

We seem to be in a similar place.

Big Energy says, “We don’t care what the global effect of our actions is. We don’t care that continuing on our current trajectory dooms the planet.

This generation, which will be rich and comfortable to the extreme, doesn’t give a good Goddamn about the rest of you or the future. We have it. We will burn it.

Screw you—and our children.”

Those last little three words goes unsaid. But it doesn’t go undone.

You stupid, arrogant, self-serving bast...—uh, I mean, “knotheads.”

“Knotheads” is the kindest word I can use here. It’s a word I use when I don’t want to offend children with my speech.

It’s a word inherited from my father.

It’s a word that prevents me from using others that are more inflammatory and denigrating and abusive. It’s a catchall word for “idiot.”

The executives at Peabody Coal (Powder River coal mines; Gregory H. Boyce, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer); ExxonMobil (Canadian tar sands: Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO); BP Global (Global oil company famous for exploding oil platforms; Carl-Henric Svanberg, Chairman); Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroads (Bakken oil and Powder River coal transportation; Carl Ice, Chairman and CEO); and a host of others are not, by definition, “idiots.”

They are plenty smart when it comes to doing what they do (find it, mine it, ship it, sell it, burn it), but when it come

to thinking about a real future... they are idio... uh, knotheads. By their actions, if they don’t change direction, we are all going to die. And our children and their children. Future generations—including their own descendants—don’t stand a snowball’s chance in you-know-where if these four guys get their way. And there are a whole bunch more of these guys.

And gals.

Want to have some fun? Google “board of directors ExxonMobil” and see who’s connected to what. Try not to get angry.

If you don’t get a little pissed, you may apply for sainthood. Or maybe it’s just me.

A great newspaper editor once told me that if I point out a problem in a column, I had to suggest a solution. So, what’s the solution? If we look at the big picture, we may not see one. But there are smaller pictures that might be helpful.

Check out 350.org. Learn why investors should divest from energy companies that aren’t looking at renewables. Join a group that’s making a difference on a local level.

Join Lake Pend Oreille Waterkeepers. Join Idaho Conservation League. Join Montana Wilderness Association. Become a Friend of Scotchman Peaks Wilderness. You can find all these organizations with Google, too. And, they probably won’t piss you off, unless you’re down with what big energy is trying to do to the planet.

Welcome back to The River Journal.

I will attempt to be less curmudgeonly next time. In the meantime, buy an ad or a gift subscription. We’ll send your paper anyplace you want; even to the chairman of ExxonMobil.

When Sandy Compton is not being curmudgeonly, he writes books. His latest are available at local bookstores and online at amazon.com

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Bible Preaching and Traditional Music May 2014| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01| Page 17

FROM THE FILES OF THE RIVER JOURNAL’S

Surrealist Research Bureau

Rumblings from the Oxfordian Underground

If mem’ry serves, it was in my college days and plodding through Hamlet that I came across the classic axioms of advice of Polonius to his son, which included such immortal lines as “to thine own self be true,” and “neither a borrower nor a lender be,” when, like a thunderbolt, I came across the admonition, “Remember, no matter how frail and slender be the string, just bind in it c**t and t’will hold fast a king.” (Yes, that says what you think it says.)

It seems I’d unknowingly procured a rare copy of the Bard’s unexpurgated plays. You see, in the early 1800s an Englishman, Thomas Bowdler (from whom we get the term “to bowdlerize,” a verb meaning to remove material considered improper or offensive) was incensed over Shakespeare’s vulgarity and realized that England’s common practice of reading the Bard aloud at family gatherings was akin to exposing them to pornography. So he laboriously undertook his own editing of the plays to render them palatable to the public. Even today, most of our modern editions follow Bowdler’s “revisions.”

Most changes are relatively minor. In Macbeth, for instance, “out damned spot” was switched to “out crimson spot” and the exclamation “God!” was changed to “heavens!” Some, however, were major: the prostitute character in Henry IV is completely removed, the suicide of Hamlet’s Ophelia is changed to accidental drowning, the gay relationship of Achilles in Troilus and Cressida is entirely omitted, and in the Sonnets, those immortal love poems written to another man, all the genders were changed from he to she.

The famous sonnet “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day,” originally written to a male lover (Mr. W. H.), is edited to align with Victorian scruples. George Stevens remarked after first reading the unexpurgated poems, “It is impossible to read these fulsome sonnets, addressed to a male, without an equal measure of disgust and indignation.”

The six known samples of “Shaxspur’s” signatures (his own spelling), resemble nothing more than the pained, halting, half-legible scrawl of a country bumpkin (his father and his own daughters were all illiterate) who could awkwardly scribble his own name and little else. Five of those scrawls deal solely with the petty lawsuits and grievances of a Stratford grainhoarder and real estate speculator, and his will (with that same almost illegible signature at the end) makes no mention of any plays or books, both valuable keepsakes, and instead leaves his wife only his “second best bed.”

Now, for reasons too numerous to relate here, I’d consider myself an “Oxfordian,” thinking it far more likely that Edward De Vere, 6th Earl of Oxford, was more apt to be the man behind the plays we commonly ascribe to Wilum Shaxspur. Oxford traveled widely in Italy, at virtually all of the locales in the plays (Two Gentlemen of Verona, The Merchant of Venice, Romeo and Juliet).

He was shipwrecked and captured by pirates, as was Hamlet, was familiar with court etiquette, the law and falconry, as was the author of the plays, and was a known ghostwriter. Called “Will” by his close friends, he was accused of being bisexual by enemies at court: his heavily

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underlined Bible (now in the possession of the Folger Library) contains no less than 30 marked passages which were likewise used in Shakespeare’s plays. His family crest shows a rampant Lion shaking a Spear.

As I mentioned, there’s too many reasons to go into here for my “Oxfordian” heresies, but I’m joined by such stalwarts as Henry James, Mark Twain, Walt Whitman, Orson Welles and Freud in thinking the good Edward is the author of the plays. A good, if hard to find, book on the subject is Shakespeare by Another Name by Mark Anderson (Gotham Books, 2005). A recent Hollywood fictional movie, Anonymous (2011 - the Sandpoint library has a copy) also deals with the subject and is worth a look. I hope Oxford will one day get the credit and recognition he deserves.

In Bigfoot News, I was mildly disappointed in the recent (November 17) Nat Geo special on DNA results by Dr. Sykes, Professor of Human Genetics at Oxford, though it was interesting to find there’s probably an extinct, previously unknown type of polar bear roaming around the high Himalayas. An interesting call was forwarded to me last weekend by a fellow Bigfoot enthusiast near Mt. Baldy who had a brief encounter (large footprints found after a sudden sighting) and I hope he’ll see this and e-mail me back here at the Palatial River Journal Ready Response Center with further information (joe(at)riverjournal. com). ‘til next time, keep spreading the word; Soylent Green is People! All Homage to Xena!

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Page 18 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

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acresnpains@dishmail.net May is for mayhem—especially when you’re a little fart and full to the gills with ‘spring fever.’

Being the runt of the family, it was my usual routine to get up early and scope out the possibilities arriving with the dawn. Along for the morning ‘meet and greet’ might be some very loose change, a pocket knife, a half book of matches, a marble or two, a firecracker, and, more often than not, a few small round balloons meant to hold water from a spigot. A pocket full of options, what every kid needs to fulfill a promising career in growing up in the high country.

On my hip was always an imaginary holster full of wits, ever ready for a quick draw. I wasn’t all that quick but I could already draw better than most. Routinely, I’d work on my quickness by sharpening it on my brothers’ wits. Occasionally one or two would find their way up my nose, but each time it was making me a little bit faster. Training is always the hardest part of any job. That, and getting a raise.

One of my favorite ways to pass the time that didn’t result in blood letting included being sneaky, so long as I took my time doing it. Not in a villainous way or anything like it, but more along the lines of the Native American pastime of ‘counting coup.’ Tag for the elitist.

The arrival of tourist season elevated my game substantially, as was its sole purpose in my estimation, not knowing at such a tender age the particulars of how our table was provisioned. I owed a lot to the tourist trade, I just didn’t know it at the time.

Tourists, as opposed to the local color, I realized early on, had a tendency

towards mind wandering. Sometimes it even seemed they must be leaving their brains back home with the cats to play with and the parakeets to talk to.

My very first “stick-up” was on a dapper gent strolling his sweetheart past the front of our bar. I was three and got nicely rewarded with a four-bit hunk of solid silver for being “So darn cute!” (according to the sweetheart, anyway). I returned the favor by not removing the man’s kneecaps with my pearl handled cap guns. Money soothes the savage runt.

Lesson learned.

Shortly after that first hold-up and while I was still admiring that fifty cent piece, a well oiled inebriant squinted into the bright sunlight after negotiating the heavy front door of our dark and rustic log watering hole. Seeing me, he bent over, having both hands on his tweed lapels, and classically parted my eyebrows with his breath saying, “You cain’t stop time, boy, but you can stop pickin’ yer nose! (hic)” This impressed me a great deal seeing as how none of my fingers were anywhere near my nostrils, so I slipped the heavy coin in my pocket, quickly drew both revolvers, thumbs pulling the hammers back to the second clicks and held him up for six bits! Too easily, I might add.

By then, I’d heard all about this inflation concept from patrons arguing with our barkeep and decided to give it a try myself. Right off, I saw why it was so popular! Another lesson learned and so early in the day, too.

By the age of four, I wasn’t so darn cute anymore and had to think up a new endeavor. I could have gone into banking

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at this point but I’ve always favored funny business over chasing after bad investments and decided it best to come up with new and interesting ways to make myself and others giggle.

With this in mind, I recruited my friend, Kegger, from just up the street where his folks had a fine string of curio stores and a bus depot often decorated with strange dialects from far away places, mainly Japan.

He was two years my junior and still “darn cute” in the eyes of grownups, providing some confidence-building continuity from my previous line of work but not likely to break any laws as serious as armed robbery or public belching.

Out of the confines of his basement came a hatched plan and assorted props such as a small folding table, a stool, some rags, a clothes brush, an old tooth brush, a pail of sudsy water and a nicely lettered but badly spelt sign reading, “Bird Poop Removed While You Wait ~ Four Bits.” We set him up on the covered sidewalk just out of range of anyone with any common sense, namely his dad, Herman, whom I knew for a fact had an exceedingly short fuse whenever it was exposed to childlike humor of any variety.

A few minutes later, I had a great bird’s eye view of foot traffic below a sign that proclaimed, “Curios ~ 10 cents to $1.00,” just west of Craig about 100 feet. At the moment, it should have also included, “Surprises are on the house” for in my steady grip was a large squeeze bottle of chunky blue cheese dressing procured from the smorgasbord at the far end of my folks’ bar. It didn’t taste as bad as bird poop but it sure did look the part!

I dropped a few warning blobs down to the sidewalk to judge the wind, timing and splatter effects then waited for a good target. It was a fine late May afternoon and I was in a great mood leading into a Memorial Day weekend I knew would be complete with lots of fine and dandy targets having money to burn on their vacations as well as the removal of bird poop.

I spied a fedora walking my way with its owner underneath it and figured this to be a prime time to check for any flaws in our system. Mentally drawing a target on the crown and brim, I made sure of the

marciaphillips2014@gmail.com Marcia Phillips |• Treasurer Page 20 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 23 No. 01|May 2014

timing and let go a squeeze. The effect was dazzling! He jumped sideways, almost colliding with a log post, and disappeared under cover amid grand curses and sputterings. After Craig cleaned the gent’s hat and learned some new and thoughtprovoking phrases, we were four bits in the black.

With entrepreneurial spirits soaring, we awaited a new target.

Two showed up presently in the form of a bulldog walking a bald man with large bushy eyebrows. I got them both with one squirt before I ducked behind the sign to conceal the sweet giggles of a successful venture. At four and a partial, I could see my future and it was as bright as a new penny!

While Craig was cleaning those two off, bumping our ‘take’ to $1.50, a freshly laundered cowboy of uncertain vintage wandered out of the Ham and Eggery, stretched and patted his full stomach and set his sights on the Frontier Saloon’s neon glowing warmly down the street.

First, he had to get cleanly past this small but not insignificant gap in the continuous awning ranging almost the

length of the block.

I reached out in anticipation, calculating wind drift and the cowboy’s gait when a raven’s shadow went across his path and up the wall, causing an upturned glance just in time to see a tow-headed grin at the far end of a thick stream of salad dressing.

I’ve never been amazed more how time can simply fly on by one minute and suddenly stall to imperceptible the very next.

His startled gaze and mine locked for what seemed eternity until my bottle cleared with a loud liquid fart so typical of condiment squeeze bottles. I giggled as I always do whenever that sound occurs, whether I make it or someone else does. This is not a universally shared trait however, as an unbroken string of epithets followed my retreating sorry ass all the way back to where I’d gotten onto the roof and a clean getaway down the alley where I hid in an old outhouse where I did a little soul searching until suppertime.

That night in my sleep, I had not a nightmare but more like a warning. That

same wrangler, dressed up in blue cheese, was calling me out for a duel. I had to oblige, what with half the town cheering me on. Before the spurs quit janglin’ on my tennis shoes, I saw him slap leather on both hips. I drew like lightning and squeezed both triggers but all that came out was that same liquid flatulence with moldy cheese bits.

I could feel the impacts on my gut and chest but they wouldn’t stop when I pleaded for mercy, they just kept pummeling my midsection as I lay in the dust, eyes rolling back toward the abyss.

Then my eyes popped open to my mom’s beautiful sweet face, her soft hands shaking my belly. “Are you having a dream about salad dressing?” she asked with a quiet smile so as not to wake my brothers who I could hear snickering in their pillows.

“You know me, ma, always thinkin’ of food!” I smiled back at her.

Such was the stuff of my dreams in the summer of 1956, 6,666’ above sea level at the corner of Yellowstone and Dunraven, West Yellowstone, Montana 59758.

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