Rotskudd: Mythbusting Norwegian Shyness

Mythbusting Norwegian Shyness

Elina Turbiná Journalist Pauline Hovland Illustratør

Dear Norwegians, treat this as an open letter to you.

Ever since my first visit to Norway three years ago, every single conversation with a new group of people would resort to the time-old legend about these “shy Norwegians”, that supposedly make up majority of the population. “Oh, they would be so happy to talk to you and get to know you but only if you initiate the conversation” or “Don’t look, talk or add them on Facebook after a party, that weirds them out” - these, and many other words of wisdom I’ve encountered so far, paint a picture of this completely isolated society that I should acquire a VIP pass to get into. And it’s utterly confusing to me, as I have personally learned that Norwegians aren’t as reserved as they think. Post-soviet introversion

So, I never talked about this in Tuntreet, so this is, like, a super fucking vulnerable moment for me...* but I am from Latvia. It is a little country squashed between Estonia and Lithuania. We’re like three high-school friends in a bar, collectively suffering from midlife identity crisis after the fall of the Soviet Union. I’d say we’re quite reserved, and not super good at expressing our feelings. It is to the point of Latvia marketing itself by using a hashtag #iamintrovert to show off our quirky restrained culture. For some reason, being socially reserved is treated like something very precious in the Nordic countries, and it truly amazes me.

(Un)friendly mentality

While doing my high-class research (googling the phrase “Norwegian shyness” and seeing what comes up), I’ve encountered many foreigners wondering about the nature of Norwegian “unfriendliness”. Expat Insider Survey from 2016 concluded that Norway is the fifth least friendly country to move to in the world. What the hell? Am I in the wrong Norway?

The amount of times Norwegians smiled at me on the streets, on campus, or in the laundry room is definitely more than fingers at my disposal. Sometimes they even smile at me with their teeth! What! In Eastern Europe you would be instantly labeled as crazy and highly dangerous if you did such a thing. And saying “thank you” so excessively to strangers? Nobody says that to cashiers back home. I feel a warmth here that my culture has yet to learn. How can this be a characteristic of an unfriendly

mentality?

Drunk and talkative

My good Norwegian friend always says that Norwegians only let others into their lives after they get drunk together. And while it is fun to talk about the cRaZy Norwegian drinking culture, I can assure you it’s the same in most cultures, regardless of the social openness. I remember having random conversations on the street with piggy-back riding Norwegians during UKA, and I’m pretty sure they were only a little drunk. So that definitely proves my point (right?).

Back home it would be a rarity to stop for a five-minute chat on your way to the dorm, yet in Ås the iconic walk along Samfunnet can sometimes take me twice as much time as usual. You guys are great at small talk! And I also despise small talk, yet you ace it every time!

Break the chain

However, I do acknowledge my bias here. Norway’s culture code doesn’t seem to be complicated to me, but it can be to people from a completely different culture. I just don’t want to accept that we, as internationals, must take that extra kilometer to accommodate your fear of talking to strangers. Most of you are a bunch of really sweet folk, but it seems like you’re struggling with accepting that you are not just this one massive generalization. NMBU is also the perfect place to break the chain of self-isolation as we have a very multicultural environment.

If we water everything down to the basic characteristics of every human being, we’ll find that we are completely the same. We all wish to be liked and respected. We all enjoy a good social activity, and then some quiet time. It’s nice to keep yourself in a comfy bed of comfortable “shyness” but I just know that’s not what you guys are about. I’ve met a great deal of Norwegians throughout the last semester, made a lot of acquaintances and even some friends. And most of you guys are more willing to do things than any of my Latvian friends (not to diss them or anything). Maybe it’s Corona that’s making some of you guys more open to others (or to me, specifically), I don’t know. Regardless of the reason, please keep going. And while you’re unlearning these traditions, I’ll keep striking up the most random conversations with you at every spot imaginable in Ås. And I will add you on Facebook after a party. You can’t, and won’t, stop me.

*This is a reference to a YouTube legend: “ContraPoints”