90's Uni2 Know

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TEAM MESSAGE Edit EMILLIA HARRIS or It is the 90’s all over again… or at least after reading this month’s issue you’ll wish it were. When I found out this mag was going to revolve around all things 90’s, it wasn’t difficult to come up with pages and pages of content ideas. I even ventured into the loft at my parents’ house and dug out my old Furby. After talking to some of our writers when planning the issue, it was clear that the 90’s produced a wave of nostalgia. Memories of Barbie, Bomber Jacket’s, MC Hammer, Tamagotchi’s, Pokémon- for most of us the 90’s defined our childhood. Final term is always the craziest with work, deadlines and exams and I hope that this issue brings you a bit of escapism and a great excuse to procrastinate. We hope you love the 90’s as much as we do. theeditor@uni2know.com

Editor

DANIEL FINE

Running this magazine is always fun and challenging, but never easy. We’ve certainly had some teething problems with our first two issues, we’ve had our naysayers and our doubters, some of them my friends,; but now we’ve really hit our stride. This issue improves on the others in pretty much every way; we’ve got interviews with some top bands and childhood heroes, some fantastic articles and our best photo-shoot yet.

In this issue we’re focusing on the 90’s, an era like no other. A decade that gloried in cheese that saw the birth of the personal computer, household gaming and Pokémon, so get those rose-tinted glasses on and let’s take a trip down memory lane.

So thanks for sticking with us, the best is yet to come. We’re learning with every issue and expanding to ten different cities next year, so make no mistake, we are here to stay. editor@uni2know.com

Designer

ALEXANDRIA VERNON

Hello everyone, I'm Alex and I've recently joined the uni2 team as the design director.

It's been my job to make the content pleasant to read and make sure it looks like an actual magazine rather than a GCSE project. If you're familiar with our previous issues you'll see the difference. Also, did you notice this issue is dedicated to 90s? Well observed! I think it's a perfect theme for students as the majority of us are 90s born babies so we can relate to most of the content. Allie styled our bright, vibrant and fun photoshoot so definitely stop off there as it captures the eccentricity of 90s fashion and the bad ass attitude that comes with it. I hope you enjoy this edition and of course we're always looking for new designers to join the team, so email me. designer@uni2know.com

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CONTRIBUTORS Writers

Katie Muxworthy Lucy Acton Allie May Redmond Rosie Baker-Williams Sam Wildman Joanna Hunt George Solomon

Shanil Nayee Emily O’Hare Mollie Tracey Shivani Palmer Georgia Martin Adam Everett Anthony Demetriou

Malcolm Remedios Aatish Thakerer Laura Cann Alex Knight Darius Wainwright Joel Rankoff Matt Williams

Designers

Photographers

Catherine Jamieson Hayley Lowndes Danielle Edrop-Leech Asher Lennox Sara Manoussifar Sean Murphy Allie May Redmond

Neil Kates: http://www.keepingitneil photography.com/ Email: Neil@uni2know.com.

Student photographer: Ella Miller

UNI2KNOW NEEDS YOU Uni2know magazine is always out scouting for new talent. It’s an exciting time here at Uni2, we shall be in 10 new cities by September! We’ve got an app on the way, a newly refurbished website coming and loads of exciting job and work experience opportunities.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch and help us create the best students for students business out there.

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78

39

8

10

28

8 10 28 32

The Uni2Know team share their favourite things from the 90s

Hot topics from the 90s, starring Dolly the Sheep!

The Rise and Fall of the 90s Childstar

The best cheesy chips in Nottingham uncovered

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64 32

DOES

90S

92 88

Take a step back into the 90s and flick through our student modelled photoshoot

Gig review and interview with Cosmo Jarvis

All things musical and wonderful of the 90s

The ultimate guide to a hangover food fix

Throwback to 90s gaming

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CONTENTS

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OUR FAVOURITE THINGS FROM THE

90S

Simon Jacobs Director

Emillia Harris Editor

Alex Vernon Head of Design

I absolutely loved the 90’s. The early nineties was the period of time coined the ‘golden age’, everyone had money and was really spending it and that meant loads of toys. I remember getting the full collection of Sooty and Sweep puppets, the first PlayStation, (with Crash Bandicoot of course) and most importantly Now 41, the ultimate in 90’s songs.

Sunny D was massive (until it started turning people orange) and it was a time for backwards cap wearing and tied hoodies round the waste. As a mancunian and a United fan however, I can’t help but think that the best thing about the 90’s was when the glorious Manchester United won the Treble- a feat yet to be repeated!

There are so many things from the 90’s that I love and cramming them into 100 words is a killer. The Spice Girls deserve a mention, I remember wanting to be Baby Spice and putting my blonde hair into little pigtails. I also had a huge crush on H from Steps and his poster was on my wall for a good few years. I have fond memories of trading my Pokémon cards in the playground and trying to collect as many ‘shinnies’ as possible. I also recall a Yo-Yo phase that everyone seemed to go through, I remember begging my Mum for a light-up Yo-Yo for weeks and weeks. The 90’s were just amazing.

My favourite thing from the 90s is more of a moment rather than a thing.

It was the Spice Girl’s world tour at what was known as the NYNEX area in Manchester (now the MEN arena). It was such an unforgettable moment. It was my first concert and I was watching the biggest and coolest girl band showing the world what girl power meant. The best bit? I got to go backstage. I met Baby, Sporty and Scary Spice in one night and got pictures, an autograph and a kiss on the cheek from them. Pretty good 90’s moment.

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Joanna Hunt Writer At primary school we did a musical production called “The Magic of the 90’s” and I was Sporty Spice from the Spice Girls, it involved lots of cringe worthy dance moves and terrible outfits. I got a Furby for my birthday and loved it to start with, it was really entertaining and I played with it for hours. After a while it got quite annoying and I would put a t-shirt over it to trick it into going to sleep and be quiet. The fashion at school was for girls to have their hair in a ponytail and have a thin, gelled strand coming down each side of the face. It looked terrible but everyone did it so we joined in.

Shanil Nayee Writer What I loved most about the 90’s was the carefree nature that everyone had. It just seems different to me nowadays, with kids being forced to grow up quicker and education being even sterner. I wish it were still like the days when I would wake up every morning to watch Power Rangers with my brother. I played football almost every day with my cousins in the park and it didn’t matter how unhealthy my breakfast, lunch and dinner was (as long as it wasn’t horsemeat)! No other era will be the same as the 90’s and I wouldn’t change my childhood for anything.

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Dolly the Sheep 5.7.1996

THE DEATH OF PRINCESS DIANNA 31.08.1997 OASIS FORMED 1991

One of the most successful bands of all time got together in Manchester and consisted of Liam and Noel Gallagher, Paul Arthurs, Paul McGuigan and Tony McCarroll. The band played their first live gig on August 18 1991 at the Boardwalk club in Manchester and their popularity grew rapidly. The group went on to have eight UK number one singles, eight UK number one albums, 15 NME Awards, nine Q Awards and six Brit Awards. They also hold the record for being the most successful act in the UK from 1995 – 2005, spending 765 weeks in the top 75 singles and albums charts. Noel Gallagher announced he was leaving the band in August 2009 after falling out with his brother Liam. The remaining members of the band continued to record under the name Beady Eye and Noel decided to pursue his solo project -Noel Gallagher’s high flying birds.

Diana Princess of Wales was tragically killed in a car accident in the Pont de l’Alma road tunnel in Paris. The driver Henri Paul and companion Dodi Fayed were pronounced dead the scene. The world was watching as reports confirmed that Diana had passed away in hospital and the media quickly pinned the blame on the hounding paparazzi. But an 18-month French judicial investigation concluded that the crash was the result of reckless actions by the driver of the MercedesBenz W140, who was the head of security at the Ritz Hotel. The investigation stated that the driver Henri Paul was under the influence of alcohol and his reactions were also affected by anti-depressant tablets. Hundreds of mourners gathered outside Kensington Palace to pay their respects and lay down flowers. The world was truly shocked and devastated by the loss of “The People’s Prin cess”.

Scientists shocked the world when they successfully cloned the female domestic sheep Dolly. She was the first mammal to be cloned from an adult somatic cell using the process of nuclear transfer. Dolly spent her entire life at the Roslin Institute, Edinburgh and was born to three mothers - one provided the egg, another the DNA and a third carried the cloned embryo to term. When asked about the choice of name Ian Wilmut, Dolly’s cloner, said : “Dolly is derived from a mammary gland cell and we couldn’t think of a more impressive pair of glands than Dolly Parton’s”. She was bred with a Welsh Mountain Ram and gave birth to six lambs. Dolly was euthanised at the age of six due to a progressive lung disease and will always be remembered as the world’s most famous sheep.

Joanna Hunt

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1990 World Wide Web Fresh Prince Baywatch The Simpsons Rampant rabbit

1991 Internet porn first text was sent

1992 Doom Released Creator of Uni2 born

1993 Power rangers

1994 PLaystation Friends started

1995 Ebay begun Windows 95 Released POGS

1996 SUper mario 2 Pac SHOT

1997 Princess Diana dies snake is invented BIG is shot

1998 google Started Viagra made

1999 Treble Thong song

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A DIARY OF A

BNOC The life of a BNOC is one that most of us can hardly imagine; filled with more events that there are in the day and with more friends than we’ll ever know. One such BNOC from the Uni of Nottingham has allowed Uni2 a glimpse into a week of their hectic lifestyle.

MONDAY

g round

ju

for a jo st going

Lenton

Woke up at 6am, then went for a 2 mile jog around Lenton, showered and had breakfast after. From 9am, I was working on essay planning for my course, followed by my society’s admin paperwork. I left the house for 11am on campus, where I spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon, until 4pm, in lectures and seminars. At four, I had another section meeting at the student magazine, leaving early at half four to lead a society event meeting where we undertook planning of the event, including setting up secondary meetings with other societies we’d like to work within the university. At seven in the evening, I met up for my second society committee meeting, where we brainstormed for ideas for the rest of the term. I get back home at half past eight for dinner.

TUESDay

After lying in until 7:30am, I start working at 8am, and don’t finish until 11am. I’m carrying out research for and applying to various graduate schemes at this time, with a look at other jobs in my field. From 12pm to 3pm, I’m on campus for another set of section meetings at the student magazine. I commit myself to writing two articles between the three meetings, each of which take me two hours to write. After having a late lunch at home, I head over to the boxing gym in Nottingham to train for a couple of hours, with punch bags and circuit training. At 7pm, I meet a television producer in Nottingham’s city centre for a coffee and a talk about the progress with producing my screenplay. I reach home at 9pm before heading to a friend’s birthday party, ending up at Rescue Rooms.

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WEDNESDAY After a day of not waking up at 6am, it’s time for me to get up early again for a jog around Lenton and Wollaton.

At 8am I get back for a shower/breakfast, and from nine, I’m filling out more societies paperwork for the SU. From 10am, I head over to campus for my seminar, and immediately after catch a bus into town for an afternoon off work with some friends at the cinema, meeting up for lunch afterwards. From 5pm to 7pm, it’s back to campus with my laptop and a few books to spend a couple of hours in the university library’s silent research section to advance my dissertation. I get back for half seven in the evening for dinner. Before going to a friend’s birthday party, I mean only to go to pre-drinks but end up in Crisis.

doodle here

THURSDAY It’s another day off from running, so I have a lie in until half seven in the morning to shake off my hangover. From 7:30am, I work on my module seminar tasks for the day, finishing off some of the essay planning I had started earlier in the week. At 9am, I’m in town for a brief job interview for a freelance film contract with a small, local production company based in the Midlands, though I make sure I am back on campus for 10am for a long day (until six in the evening) of module lectures, screenings and seminars. At 6pm, I grab a quick take-away dinner and chair my committee meeting for an hour where we bring together the views of members, feedback over the past few weeks, and our ideas for the next few weeks and the following semester.

At half eight in the evening I start walking back for a nine o’clock dinner at home. After dinner I make sure to update my calendar diary for the next week online with people’s birthdays, events and work items.

THE WEEKEND I wake up at 5:45am in order to catch a train within the next hour to London where I’ll be completing my Territorial Army training, and visiting my parents on the Sunday after it has finished. After spending the day with family, I take a return journey back to Nottingham at half eleven in the evening, ready for the next week at university.

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s n o g a r D e n i g ma

ALL UNI2KNOW ABOUT

I

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Imagine Dragons are an American Indie Rock band from Las Vegas. We caught up with Ben from the band whilst he was in the UK last month

Hi Ben, so have you been to England before?

Yeh, we were in London a few months ago. We were filming a video and doing some gigs.

What’s the strangest thing you have been asked in an interview?

Well that’s a good question…we were on a German TV show and no one spoke English so we had a translator, which if I am honest made everything much weirder. They pulled up a picture of the band eating ice cream; they then brought a full table of ice cream onto the set and told us to just start eating.

We had no idea what was going on, neither did the translator and he just said that we should eat the ice cream, so there we were on live German tv, confused and with massive brain freezes.

You have very interesting music videos, one of which won awards, how do you come up with these and have you ever thought about a video before writing the song?

No. haha. Our music tends to lead to some cinematic videos and we just send the proposal out to hundreds of firms and just go through all the ideas and pick our favorite. We shot Radio active in NYC but then couldn’t finish it fully so had to shoot the rest in London when we were here last, we shot it in a dungeon but we were evacuated half way through! It was a bit mad!

Who inspires you musically?

Muse, FUN and Arcade Fire are all bands we like the sound of and try to link to.

If you had one song to listen to the rest of your life what would it be?

Louie Armstrong definitely, or maybe Pino Paladino.

Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Have you been to Nottingham before?

What current chart song would you like to cover/ do you wish you wrote?

No, we’ve only spent a total of 4 days in the UK so far, haha, but we do want to travel as much as possible!

Muse – Madness, it’s got that great guitar bit that sounds dub-step!

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you whilst being on stage/ on tour/ with the band?

You’ll love this. Back when we were smaller we used to perform in casinos in Vegas. We used to sing the classics and occasionally mix in some of our own stuff, Dan got very energetic and loved to interact with the drunken crowd. He used to encourage a dance competition and would them choose the hottest girl and tell me to kiss them…so the stage is set…. We were doing a gig in one of these casinos, Dan was orchestrating the dance competition and had decided on a winner, it was a very attractive girl, he pulled her up to the stage and just as she was about to kiss me, a rather drunk man ran on stage and licked my face! Dan then started spanking me on stage for no reason. How’s that?

And finally we ask everyone we interview this; what do we need to know about Imagine Dragons?

Something people wouldn’t know about you…

Well Imagine Dragons is an anagram, we have never revealed what it’s an anagram for though and we’re not going to now either. We also chant something before every gig, yet another thing I can’t reveal, haha.

So how did you end up being a bass player?

Well, my dad always had guitars around the house and I was basically forced to do it by a teacher in the end.

We had a show at school and the usual bass player was ill for weeks so I had to step in and learn it. In the end it all worked out!

The band are currently in the UK on their Night Visions tour

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Ketamine There is something exciting about leaving pre-drinks with that little polythene baggie in your pocket. It brings a guarantee of uncertainty and a kind of raw excitement, fear almost, that weighs like a rock in the pit of your stomach. Whether you’re someone who is relatively new to bringing drugs into your night out, which might be something as small as putting a pinch of MDMA into your glass of white wine. Or maybe you’re a seasoned veteran who makes a yearly pilgrimage to Glade festival for the weekend-long binge of Psy-trance, Mandy, ketamine, acid and the old festival staple of cider. There is an element of excitement wrapped up in the potential danger of that baggie that is hard to explain, but quite attractive.

Going out having dropped MDMA – besides having the weird side effect of making you twist your face into what looks like a cubist portrait of yourself – can tick all the boxes on most of the list of having a ‘good night’. You’ll have some deep conversations (well it’ll feel like they are at the time), you’ll dance all night, the club staff will probably be sweeping around your stomping feet at 3AM. And of course, there’s the after party. A chance to keep the night going, to finish that little bag of white minerals and to continue the conversations you’re having at rabid pace about how this is the best night of your life and how you can’t believe how much you actually like house music.

Introducing ketamine will really mix things up and is a popular choice for the after party menu – it’s almost expected – the equivalent of bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party. Once the primer of a solid stimulant like Mandy has been thickly laid down, you’re ready to get wonky and for things to get a bit weird. Ket narrows the scope of your mind in such a way, that it seems as though you’re looking at things through a keyhole. Not only that, but you walk around with a kind of slow motion goose step, if you’re able to walk at all, that is.

is it worth

it?

This is the best night of your life and you can’t believe how much you actually like house music.

You know that drugs are bad for you. But isn’t it alright that you do it ‘recreationally’? I’ve always been unsure of exactly what that means, to be contrasted to ‘professionally’? I am writing this specifically about ketamine as someone who used to be quite familiar with the drug scene – and I have never been happier for leaving it. It is a tranquillizer that is famous for being used on animals, but it’s also used as an anaesthetic for humans.

It’s really big on the house music scene, as anyone who likes house music will know.

What did you think Jamie Jones’ ‘Tranquillizer’ was about? Or there’s Benoit and Sergio’s ‘Walk and Talk’ which has the chorus line “my baby takes K all day, she doesn’t wash her hair, and she doesn’t wash her clothes”.

However sooner or later, drug taking will catch up with you, as it did with me. Ketamine has damaged my bladder in such a way that I need to pee about every hour – yes, even during the night – which, as you can imagine makes sleep, among other things, quite difficult.

I have been seeing a urologist at the top of his field who is one of the few that are researching what has become known as ‘ketamine bladder’. There are very few studies on it and as with all statistics relating to drugs, the figures are unreliable or non-existent. He told me that, based on the people whom he has seen – an everyday habit is usually required for this

kind of damage to occur – of at least upwards of one gram, which as anyone who has taken ketamine will know, is an obscene amount to be doing daily.

I took ketamine perhaps once a week – maybe once every two weeks. There were times where I might have had a bit twice in a week. Yet my bladder has still been damaged. The amount of times I have to rush to the toilet daily is terrible, but the interrupted sleep is the worst. Imagine if you could never sleep for upwards of one hour ever again. The damage is irreversible and treatment options are few and carry the risk of horrific side effects. But beyond that, there’s the painful but necessary task of explaining what has happened to my heart-broken parents.

This is why I’m writing this article. I’m writing it for you. Perhaps you’ve never taken ketamine: let this be a firm seal on that decision. Perhaps you have dabbled here and there, inhaling a key’s worth. I want to encourage you to say no to taking ketamine indefinitely. Maybe you’re familiar with the old scene of turning polythene bags inside out at ten in the morning, but you always tell yourself that only stupid people get hurt by drugs – you leave big enough intervals and take little enough to be safe. Are you really so sure? Is it really worth the risk? Or maybe you just know someone who has taken ket before.

Please send them this article.

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5 Must-Have

Fashion Apps Want fashion at your fingertips? Apps to aid you in the world of fashion are now becoming increasingly popular. Gone are the days when we solely rely on magazines for fashion advice. Thanks to these apps we are able to source the latest trends, decide what goes with what and see what our friends are wearing on the ease of our Smartphone. Here are five of the must-have free fashion apps that any fashionista should download.

1. Pose

Available for the iPhone, iPad, Android.

Pose is home to thousands of bloggers, celebs and unique brands.

The idea is simple, take a picture of your outfit, tag what you’re wearing and share with your friends. It allows you to save the ‘Poses’ from your favourite trendsetters for outfit ideas or for your next shopping trip. After a series of questions to determine your basic style, Pose suggests similar style seekers for you to follow. Pose is a great app to discover trends from around the world and gives you the chance to purchase must have items.

2. Pinterest

Available for the iPhone, iPad. Pinterest is a quick and easy way to save and organise inspirations to online pin boards. Whether you’re a fashionista, or more of a gadget girl, it’s a place where you can create dreams and make plans for your future. Create new pins with your camera and follow the boards that interest you to discover even more.

3. Cloth

Available for iPhone, iPad, iPod touch.

Having trouble choosing an outfit?

Cloth is your very own online wardrobe. Featured in the NY Times, MTV style and Cosmopolitan as one of the best iPhone Apps, it allows you to capture and save your favourite outfits to your personal outfit diary.

With its new weather upgrade you can tag your outfits with their suitable weather condition to help you choose what to wear in the future. Share your outfits through social-networking sites to make it easy for your friends to see what you’re wearing. It also doubles as a game, collect points and badges for saving and sharing outfits, then submit to Clothapp.com directly from your phone. The best looks get posted to their blog and Facebook page.

4. ASOS

Fashion Up

Available for iPhone, iPod touch, iPad. One of the biggest brands for online shopping now has

its own fashion app. Download ASOS’ weekly interactive magazine and get the latest trends, must have star styles and street fashion. Purchase your favourite items straight from your device with this easy to use app. Plus receive how-to videos for this season’s hottest hairstyles, make -up and nail art trends. If you’re an ASOS addict, you’ll love this.

5. Fashism

Available for iPhone, iPad, Android.

‘Does this outfit work?’ ‘Do these shoes go?’ Are some of the questions often asked when getting ready for a night out. Fashism is the app that allows you to ask the fashion community these everyday questions. Simply upload a picture, ask the question, tag the brands that you are wearing and receive instant fashion advice. Edit your photos before you upload them with the apps brightening tool and a range of filters. Fashism is a fun and exciting app that allows you to put your opinions out there to the fashion world.

By Mollie Tracey

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Spring back into gorgeous NAILS

Hot on the catwalk at New York

Fashion Week for the Spring/Summer 2013 Season was the nail art trend.

Bows were seen at Kate Spade, edgy dripping ‘blood’ at Prabal Gurung and ‘shark-bite’ jagged edges at The Blonds. I am a huge fan of nail art and you should check out wah-nails.com for some amazing inspiration and ideas from other talented nail artists- I’m talking strawberries, skulls, studs, dollar signs, the lot.

The two-tone manicure is also really popular this season with graphic stripes and contrasting colours really making nails pop at Roland Mouret and Vivienne Westwood. To recreate this look simply pick contrasting shades that suit your skin tone and paint diagonally over your base colour, as if you were doing a French manicure wrong on purpose

Pretty neutrals, barely there manicures and creamy colours were also everywhere; the minimalist manicure that will live on and on was seen at Marc Jacobs, Chanel and Rag & Bone. My favourite all time neutral polish is ‘Caramel Cupcake’ by Rimmel, which can be found at pretty much any Superdrug or Boots!

O

f course the classic Spring pastels are back; ice-cream hues pretty enough to eat and baby blues galore. Butter London is a great brand for a more high-end polish but holds a price tag of around £10 a bottle, try ‘Fiver Nail Laquer’, an ‘opaque ice minty crème’ for mint choc chip nails. If you’re looking for something slightly more student-budget friendly, Barry M always deliver the goods with their on trend, on budget polishes priced at £2.99! A personal Spring favourite of mine is ‘Peach Melba’.

Flashes of metallic were also seen at NYFW, gold, silver and copper tones gave a luxurious feel to the spring shows. It’s so easy to get the look at home with a glitter or metallic polish, why not try an alternative French manicure of glittery tips? Pretty nails will always be in fashion.

Keep your polish in the fridge to stop it going gloopy. Have fun experimenting with different patterns and colours, after all if you hate it or mess it up, it can always be removed.

Allie May Redmond

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& ME

It had been a dry spell. After splitting with my boyfriend, I fantasied about casual flings and one night stands. For the first time in 5 years I was single and ready to experiment.

Unfortunately this didn’t quite work out.

Unless you count the night of awkward post-Ocean sex that lacked a happy ending, the reality of multiple orgasms and sex 5 times a night just wasn’t happening. In fact, it had been 3 months since the awkward post-ocean sex and I was getting impatient.

I had pleasured myself, of course I had, how else would I’ve shifted the tingle and urge to want to shag every male I set eyes on? I’m not shy of any type of

t i b b a Mr. R pleasure, but I needed more than just digits.

I finally made up my mind, the only way to solve this would be to make my way to a popular high street store with its garish pink exterior, and find my own pleasure. Normally turning my nose up at any such shop, I wanted my entrance and exit as low key as possible. In and out, then straight home for those multiple orgasms and sex as many times as I wanted.

Walking into the shop, I was approached by an assistant who took me to the back of the store. Over 40 different sizes, shapes, girths and power settings greeted me. How amazing I thought, the control to choose the penis before you sleep with it, right down to every little

detail. After a hard decision between thrusting or pulsing, I walked out the shop feeling empowered with my purchase. I had settled on medium sized, deep purple, with 5 different settings - I practically ran home.

I don’t think I left my room all night.

This was the best sex in the world. No awkward morning after, no walk of shame, no insecurities or cuddling. Just the Rabbit and me. I can sleep with the Rabbit as many times as I want and he never needs me to ‘finish him off’ or asks to cum on my tits.

I think I found the perfect man, I will always be calling the shots and he’s going to be sticking around until I fancy a new one.

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When you started out did you ever imagine you’d be selling 3 million albums and picking up awards like Best British Band and Best Live Band?

We’ve all known each other for about 28 years and we all grew up together in the same valley, and I think we all had that dream of being huge rock stars. I’m not sure we really believed we’d be a massive band but that was always the dream when we were practicing four or five times a week.

UNI2KNOW SPEAKS TO

BUL LET for my Valentine

As the band has grown have you noticed your fanbase change? For example the type of person who goes to your gig or their age?

At our gigs I’ve seen kids aged about 6 all the way up to people in their 50’s. We’ve got a really wide variety of fan which I find amazing and I don’t know if there’s any other band who have got that.

We’ve had a load of support from Radio 1 for this new album so hopefully we’ll get an even bigger variety of people at our gigs.

Where do you see yourselves in another 10 or 15 years time?

Music journalist Adam Everett had a chat with the bands bass guitarist, Jason James, about a new album and big plans for the future of Bullet For My Valentine.

As long as we look after ourselves – which we’ve all started trying to do better at recently – hopefully we’ll still be out there rocking the stage. Ultimately we want to go on and become a really iconic band – that’s our goal.

How are you today Jay?

As a musician does it concern you when you see shops like HMV closing down?

I’m alright mate, just got back from the US so I’m pretty tired.

Can you tell us a bit about your new album ‘Temper Temper’?

I think it’s quite a progression for us. We’ve gone for a ‘less is more’ style but at the same time it’s bigger and better. It’s a lot different and we’ve definitely stepped out of our comfort zone. I think it’s a sound that’ll really widen our fanbase. I think we were influenced by the stresses of touring and being able to go back to jamming and doing our own thing for a while was really good.

You’ve not had a big tour in a while – is that to do with the stress you mentioned and are you looking forward to going back on the road?

Well we took a bit of time out for making the record, that’s the main reason we’ve not been doing much live stuff lately.

But we toured the hell out of the last few records – I think we were on the road for about 18 months with the last one. We’re really looking forward to touring again though. 2013 is kind of a landmark year for Bullet For My Valentine in that it’s 15 years since you started playing Metallica and Nirvana covers under the name Jeff Killed John.

We’re in a technical age now where everything’s digital. There’s a real struggle against illegal downloading and that’s why you’ve got shops like HMV shutting their doors. People can’t go out and buy the physical product anymore. I think the onus is on the record labels to come up with new things and keep money going into the music industry.

As a Nottingham-based magazine we’re wondering why you’ve not played a show for us in ages. Is it something we said?

I’m not sure why we’ve not visited for a while to be honest, it’s just one of those things. It’s nothing personal!

Have you any particular memories of playing in Nottingham?

Yeah I vaguely remember stuff, playing Rock City and that. I’ve got a few friends in Nottingham, we played quite a bit in the city in the early days. So yeah, fond memories of the place.

Any final message for our readers?

Check out my new clothing line Amp Ink, go and buy the album and rock your socks off!

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• Look out for Pussy Energy Drinks in bars and clubs across Nottingham • •Get ready for huge Pussy Energy Events in partnership with Uni2 •

• The UK’s rst 100% natural energy drink – no taurine or artiicial ingredients • april editio54492104180366 26

09/04/2013 23:46

Laptop crashed during dissertation?

Visit us without hesitation!

Lost your phone on a one night stand?

Come to Cash Shop for a helping hand!

Crushed your headphones whilst predrinking?

‘I’ll visit Cash Shop’....Now you’re thinking!

For quality pre-owned goods visit: The Cash Shop 1 Kings Walk, Nottingham, NG1 2AE (Just a short walk from Blue Bell)

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THE RISE AND FALL OF THE 90’S child star When you’re a kid you look for idols and heroes. Some of us find these in films, some from music and some from sport. There is no doubt about it, the 90’s had some great child stars, but where are they now and are they still as adorable as they used to be?

Lindsey n a h o L

When she first stepped onto our screens playing angelic but cheeky twins in ‘Parent Trap’ we all fell in love with the ginger hair, dimples and freckles. But nowadays grey skin, darkened eyes and drugs are usually the words to describe this troubled actress. It began looking bright for Lindsay, as a teen she gained fame with leading roles in blockbuster movies such as Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Herbie: Fully Loaded. Understandably she wanted to party, but it could be said that Lindsey took it to

the next level. She was arrested for drunk driving twice, cocaine possession and went to rehab three times. She followed that with a series of car crashes, arrests and more rehab.

a few driving fines later, unfortunately not.

The use of drugs, failure to turn up to court, failure to go to treatment classes and then failing a drug test resulting in her spending part of the day in jail, were all just another event for the actress. We It seemed like the fresh-faced girl who would all like to see Lindsey get back onto once graced our screens was hitting the headlines for all the wrong reasons; does a the right path, but the cynic in us feels we jail sentence of 84 minutes ring any bells? might be waiting a while.

You’d think the star would realise the error of her ways after a short stint in prison and

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Macaulay n i k l u C We all remember this young faced little cherub who was home alone every Christmas for about 4 years (the parents always seemed to forget, you’d think they would have learnt after the first time). Anyway this young chap no longer needs to worry about Christmas, he needs to worry about himself after doctors told him he had 6 months to live. At the peak of his fame he was regarded as the most successful child actor and was a role model for thousands of children across the globe. Anyone who has seen these movies can’t help but to admire Macaulay’s acting. But the influence of fame, or perhaps a little too much money, saw the star heading down that spiraling path of destruction.

He was arrested on September 17th 2004 for the possession of drugs and was in court on numerous occasions with crimes connected to drugs and theft. This was shocking to the world but when it hit the headlines that he was addicted to heroin and had a matter of months to live, it was soon realised that things had gone far enough. Recent rumors have surfaced suggesting that the actor is suicidal and was recently found seconds to death after an over dose of heroin. We don’t think it’s likely you’ll be reading headlines of how Macaulay has turned his life around anytime soon, but we hope so.

BRITNEY SPEARS The biggest and most shocking turnaround of a 90’s child star has to be Britney. This beautiful American first hit our screens on Mickey Mouse’s club. She got her big break when signed as a recording artist in the late 90s with the release of her debut album, “Baby One More Time” in early 1999. The world fell in love as she danced, cartwheeled and sang her way to victory in the charts. With those pig-tails and a school uniform that girls worldwide tried to reproduce, we all fell a little in love with her. But in 2007, she underwent a public breakdown in front of an army of paparazzi that captured every moment.

She lost custody of her children, was charged with a hit-and-run, had stays in rehab, attacked a photographer’s car with

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an umbrella and shaved off her hair. In 2008, police were called to her house and she was hospitalized. There were rumours that she visited mental health institutions and to make things worse all of this resulted in her losing her children. Who would have thought that when she first entered our screens, she would have turned into such a car crash? After a recent stint on the US X-Factor, we hope she is finally turning it around, but we won’t be surprised if it happens again.

When we were children, being famous and on TV sounded amazing, but take a look at what happened to just a handful of these 90’s stars. You can now feel smug that although you often have no money to eat, you can’t have casual sex with A-listers and you don’t own a multi-million pound mansion in LA, at least your not a total fuck up that’s in and out of rehab and chased around by the press all day.

09/04/2013 23:47

How to make a

ine f damn

odka, meaning “little water” in Russian, is a major spirit throughout the world. Whilst I’m sure many students are not on great terms with the clear spirit, rest assured that there’s far more out there than Glen’s vodka, infamous for being on the lower end of the price and quality range with students. Knowing the history to such a spirit is useful as knowing why it’s so popular in the first place means you can use those ideas to enjoy it in the future.

Vodka was historically made with fermented potatoes, but nowadays it can be made from ingredients including rye, wheat, corn and barley. Post-fermenting multiple distillations occur and then, to get rid of impurities, it is filtered through charcoal, and if you’re purchasing a higher quality vodka, through semi-precious stones.

Vodka only became popular in the US in the late 1940’s when Vladimir Smirnoff migrated to the country and hit upon a fantastic cocktail that swept the United States, before the Moscow Mule, which was covered in the last edition, vodka was only popular in Russia, Poland and Scandinavia. Soon the whole of the United States was enjoying Bloody Marys, Screwdrivers and after James Bond hit the silver screen, Vodka Martinis.

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If you’re wondering how to tell if vodka is good quality, I would argue that it is not hard to tell. If you can drink it on its own without any discomfort, that is instantly the sign of a good vodka. Don’t let the advertising fool you, whilst most high-end vodka is either tasty or taste-less, after a certain price the effect, percentage and taste is all relatively the same, unless the vodka is flavoured. My personal recommendations would be Smirnoff for nostalgia, Green Mark if you’re looking for a clean vodka with no burn, or Jellus vodka, which can only be acquired from ASDA but in a wide variety of delicious flavours.

Before drinking vodka, like most forms of spirits, I recommend that you leave whatever you are drinking (as long as it has an ABV of more than 30%) in a freezer that’s not below -24 degrees Celsius for more than 2 hours.

No matter how hideous the taste of the neat spirit is, making cocktails with it can make a delicious drink.

Here are a few recipes which whilst not complex, should enable you to drink unflavoured vodka without any trouble at all. Of course, with every cocktail recipe, it is worth adjusting the proportions to fit your own tastes, but the ones listed below taste great in my experience.

Cocktail

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VODKA Cocktail

Sex on the Beach

Cosmopolitan

35ml Vodka

50ml Vodka

15ml Peach schnapps

25 Lime juice

50ml Pineapple juice

25 Sugar syrup

50ml Cranberry juice

50ml Cranberry.

If you don’t own a cocktail kit, as long as you have ice, all you will need to do is to stir the ingredients thoroughly and then either keep them in the same glass or pour over ice into another, garnish as cheesy as desired.

If you don’t own a cocktail kit you aren’t likely to get the necessary chill, but as long as it is stirred with ice and not swallowed quickly, it should taste as a normal cosmopolitan would.

If you own a cocktail kit, then pour all the ingredients into a mixing glass, put ice in the glass, shake, and strain over a hurricane glass.

The origin of the next cocktail is a debated one, with two different stories mainly emerging.

One being that the Cosmopolitan was originally created by a bartender by the name of Cheryl Cook, which swept San Francisco and since took off when Madonna was photographed holding one in the 80’s. The other story is that in the 1980’s the head bartender of a gay bar was attempting to create a cocktail that wasn’t neat vodka (as he noticed most of the patrons were drinking Martinis) and was still attractive to the patrons. The below is an edited version of that drink.

If you do own a cocktail kit, the same procedure as a Sex on the Beach should be observed, just instead of a hurricane glass, a standard martini glass should be used, but with no ice in the glass that you are pouring into.

Vodka seems to be one of those spirits that’s loved, hated, infamous and glorified. Ultimately, as long as you enjoy what you’re drinking, don’t be afraid to be adventurous and try something beyond a standard Vodka/coke combination. You never know, you may end up enjoying it.

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heesy

Portion size 7/10

Cheese chip ratio 5/10

Chip quality 5/10

FAVOURITE Pizza N Chicken

DERBY ROAD

vs. C

s Chip

Overall 5/10

Comments The ketchup was really vinegary and runny, plus the chips tasted a bit overcooked. The only redeeming feature was the big portions.

Nottingham Pizza and Kebab House

Portion size 7/10

Cheese chip ratio 7/10

Chip quality 8/10

Overall 9/10

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ALFERTON ROAD april editio54492104180366 32

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ALFERTON ROAD

Portion size 9/10

Cheese chip ratio 8/10

Chip quality 7/10

Overall 7.5/10

TIPOO

Comments The chips and cheese were great. However, we didn’t really understand the drum and bass blasting out (it was only 7pm).

TRENT KEBABS Portion size 3

7/10

Cheese chip ratio 5/10

Chip quality 5/10

Overall 5/10

Comments A favourite with first years from Gill St and faithful fans alike, Trent kebabs has a bit of a cult following. However, dare we say it, the chips and cheese weren’t amazing. We much preferred Nottingham Pizza and Kebab house.

D

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09/04/2013 23:47

e r o w t you

wha

Revival of

the Nineties Whether you’re channeling your inner Kate Moss, circa 1996, or you’re taking your inspiration from the Fresh Prince himself, the 90’s is back.

Disco pants, knitted beanies, American kicks, and oversized denim. You’re pairing silk bombers with American jerseys and making laid-back coo again.

Layered scarves and mussed up hair make for the perfect 90’s grunge girl.

So pull on your Nike’s, squeeze into your disco pants, and turn up that S Club 7 album.

Katie blogs at WWW.KATIEMUX.BLOGSPOT.CO.UK

Who?

Frankie Gascoine Fashion Management

What?

Disco Pants, AA. Bomber Jacket, Asos.

Beanie, Topshop.

Where?

Off to a lecture with my course mates.

Who?

Grace Burt Fashion Communication & Promotion

Wh

Chlo Pho

What?

Denim Jacket, Asos. Disco Pants, Ark. Shirt, vintage

Wh

Cre sho

Where?

Heading home after a seminar, for a good cup of tea.

Wh

Just run.

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Who?

Ellie Grant Interviewing for Textiles

What?

Nike Trainers, Ebay. Scarf, Zara. Glasses, Tom Ford

Where?

Just finished my pre-night out wine run.

k. oo

Who?

Grace Burt Fashion Communication & Promotion

What?

Denim Jacket, Asos. Disco Pants, Ark. Shirt, vintage

Who?

Chloe Franklin Photography

Where?

Heading home after a seminar, for a good cup of tea.

What?

Creepers, Underground. Tee: Topshop. Beanie, Primark.

Where?

Just finished my pre-night out wine run.

UNI2KNOW MAGAZINE 37 april editio54492104180366 37

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www.uni-2.co.uk *Term & Conditions apply april editio54492104180366 38

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. . . y t r e p o r p t o H TAKE A STEP BACK INTO THE

90s

An era of extremist fashion

E G N U GR and attitude Photography by Ella Miller STYLED BY ALLIE MAY-REDMOND

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A 90S KID WHEN... april editio54492104180366 41

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You had a Tamagotchi or a Furby

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GETTING JIGGY WITH IT april editio54492104180366 45

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in west philadelphiA...

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BORN AND RAISED

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You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony,

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,

and Ninja Turtles

2

UNI

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YOU WERE OBSESSED WITH POKEMON

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YOU REMEMBER

POWER RANGERS

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you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs and listened to tapes not cds

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E V O EL

W

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90

S

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FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: TOM, CHARLIE, DEan, suzanne and ruby

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The best 90’s Toys If you’re a 90’s kid then you’ll know that it was the best decade. Still to this day we dream about the wonders of 90’s music, toys and films. We loved our posters of girl bands and pre-adolescent DiCaprio, but what were our 3 favourite toys?

weetah Tell -kah-lootah-k me a joke loo: . a sto ah-wee-lo ..weery... o : tee: S .wee-t Tell me eein nye-l g me a so kah-wahoo-la ng.. want y-doo?: ..uDo yo to pla u y?

The Furby Millions of 90’s children screamed in delight as they unwrapped their new electronic pet. However, they were later screaming in distress once they realised that it wouldn’t shut up. The Furby was seen as a leader in technology in the 90’s and the furry brats were even banned from the US National Security Agency for fear they would repeat confidential information. Over 40 million furry robots were sold in the first three years of production and their popularity continues- they’ve now been released again and were the number one Christmas toy for 2012.

All us 90’s kids can feel smug that we owned the original and much cheaper one- they now retail at £70. I received a Furby for Christmas and thought it was amazing, up until it started crying and I locked it in a cupboard. I had fallen in love and began to think of it as a real baby. It even spoke like a baby with its own language- Furbish. For those of you who don’t remember, here are some key Furbish phrases…who say’s you only speak one language. wee-tah-kah-loo-loo: Tell me a joke. wee-tah-kah-wee-loo: Tell me a story. wee-tee-kah-wah-tee: Sing me a song. u-nye-loo-lay-doo?: Do you want to play?

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The Game Boy

The Barbie

The 00’s brought Apple and I-phone’s, PlayStation 3 and X-Box 360, but once upon a time in the 1990’s we were easily impressed with a Game Boy. Every child wanted one and marvelled at the pixels and repetitive background music. Just imagine giving one of these to a child now, they would wonder why it was so heavy and only had “A”, “B”, “SELECT” and “START”. Nowadays if a game took 5 seconds to load, the console may be over the other side of the room. But back in the day it was amazing. Tetris, Pokémon and Sonic were some of the most popular games and to be honest I still think they’d still beat the likes of Temple Run and Angry Birds, who wants flashy graphics anyway? For those of you still holding on to your trusted Game Boy, they now sell on eBay for up to £100. We’re not suggesting you get rid of your old friend, but if you could do with the money I’m sure he’d forgive you.

Did you know that Barbie’s real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts…nope we didn’t either. Not strictly just for the 90’s, but Barbie deserves a mention.

She was just amazing and frankly still is. Hundreds, no thousands of outfits, cars and not to mention the Shelley’s and the romance between Ken. I mean it even hit the news when they broke up!

They were every girls dream and I even had a pregnant one, which had 2 little babies in her tummy. Okay so maybe this sounds weird, but at the time it was wonderful and it certainly beats the elongated ‘My Scene’ dolls and the huge heads of ‘Bratz’ dolls. Barbie has always been a controversial subject, whether she’s a good influence or too skinny, but did you know Barbie has over eighty careers including a rock star and a presidential candidate. I know I had endless fun with Barbie and she even came on holiday.

09/04/2013 23:49

Who remembers: Bernard’s Watch?!

David Peachy, (who is now a doctor) who is better known as Bernard from Bernard’s watch talks to us!

Do you miss it much?

I don’t miss it as such. I loved doing it but don’t sit around thinking “I wish i was still doing Bernard’s Watch!” Was absolutely brilliant to do though and don’t regret it for a second!

Was there more than one prop watch?

I’m not quite sure, there may have been 2 but definitely not many.

Do you still have one?

Nope - was never given one.

Have you/ would you ever go to a convention with previous child stars?

I wouldn’t quite call myself a “child star” but yeh definitely - why not? Sounds like it would be a laugh!

How did you avoid the standard child star Do your colleges know? ‘fall from grace’?

Yeh, I never tell anybody about it but eventually people tend to find out.

Because, I wasn’t really much of a “star”.

Was just something as I did as a kid and Is it a good chat up line? never really let it go to my head I guess.

If you had a working & operational watch I never tell anyone about it, but my mates often use it as a line to start chatting to what would you do with it? girls.

A lot more interesting things than I did in the show! You could do absolutely anything! Finally…what is something that the normal Bernard’s watch fan wouldn’t know about the show? (Maybe some sort of Any roomers of a comeback? ‘pre shooting’ ritual, or a funny story etc).

I’m afraid I haven’t heard anything!

Hmm, nothing very exciting. It was all filmed on location, not in a studio, in NotA few. leslie Grantham (Dirty Den) was in it. tingham. But no other crazy stories or anyI met Anthea Turner, Lee from 911, Zig and thing! Sorry!

Zag - all the stars from the 90’s really!

Did you meet many famous people?

hair of the 90s You only have to mention N-Sync and the first thing that pops into my head is Justin’s horrendous bleach-frosted white-boy ‘fro. It’s a good job that he turned out so well, otherwise, I don’t think I’d be able to overlook that monstrosity. Good job he finally looked in the mirror (sorry…).

frizzy. Hair was either piled high in a scrunchie or left down and swept over to one side.

There was also the more polished and proper styles of Clueless, a la Cher and Dionne- sleek straight hair paired with an outfit-matching hairband and you were good to go.

Next up for the boys, another one of the initi- If you were a little girl in the 90’s, chances ation rites if you were in a 90s boy band- The are you were obsessed with butterfly clips and twisting your hair Curtains. Paired with the until it could no longer standard middle parting, be twisted! A head covthis hairstyle was all the ered in tiny twisty toprage in the 90’s if you were knots was the only way the cute one that all the to go to school when girls fancied. But for the you were 7. bad boy of the group there was the Short-n-Spiky, The final hairstyle, which paired with a cheeky eyeshould stay back in the brow piercing to top the ‘90s closet along with look off.

Justin’s bleach, is The Rachel. Sported by JenIf you were one of the nifer Aniston, the chopfortunate boys in the 90’s py and bouncy iconic cut with hair like the Fresh Prince, you were definitely able to get away was seen in the first two seasons of Friends with it. The Flat-top was all good on the ‘90s and was copied by thousands of women throughout the 90s. hip-hop scene.

For the ladies, the 90’s were all about big and Allie May-Redmond april editio54492104180366 59

09/04/2013 23:49

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W E I V E R G GI s i v r a J Cosmo

Cosmo Jarvis stopped off at Nottingham, supporting Mad Dog Mcrea on their UK tour. The Bodega was buzzing, but not packed. Upstairs was a loosely filled room made up of music lovers that had come to drink in the vibes of some real musicians.

As Cosmo Jarvis came on stage, the excited reaction of the crowd revealed that, although he was supporting, he was the main attraction of the night. It was immediately clear that we were

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going to get something other than a replication of the studio recordings, as an organic and raw sound started to blast out from Cosmo’s Jim Roots signature Stratocaster.

His musical experience shone clearly as the set progressed, the raw and rough vocals blending nicely with the warm Fender tone of the guitar.

Very relaxed on stage, Cosmo tunes his guitar between songs, not overly concerned with professionalising the performance. Thanks to this you get a slice of Cosmo’s personality with the music, which gives it a remarkably genuine and sincere quality that makes it all the more attractive.

The performance was tight, but energetic, with plenty of searing leads and even a cheeky bit of mandolin for his popular ‘Gay Pirates’. Cosmo didn’t mess around with any fancy effects but played a versatile and exciting set that showed off a musician with enormous potential.

09/04/2013 23:49

OK, I’ve got loads of questions, so we’ll go through them and talk through your music.

‘Maxine’ and ‘She’s Got You’ both seem quite wrapped up in personal experience.

*Looks at question sheet* Fuck me; you have got loads of questions.

Yeah, both of those songs. ‘She’s Got You’ is about a mate of mine who had this girlfriend who was a fucking lying nutjob; a real bad influence. I couldn’t say anything to him because it was none of my business. People can do what they want in private, but I felt like I had to do something. And ‘Maxine’ is a song about this girl who just lived locally. I sort of liked her, but my mate ended up with her and I just recorded that song and put it through my mates’ letterbox. He just thought it was funny, and he was still my friend afterwards.

How do you like Nottingham?

No better or worse than any other place I’ve been to in this country.

Ok, what’s your favourite UK city then?

Favourite UK city? Probably Glasgow, I like the grid system.

There’s a lot of genre bending stuff in the collection of music that you’ve released, which sorts of suggests that your taste is probably quite broad. Are there any current artists or genres that you are particularly into right now… apart from One Direction?

Well that goes without saying. Erm… Last thing I really liked was that Emily Sande tune ‘Heaven’. The drum loop was quite incredible. Good melody and she’s a fucking great singer. I don’t really listen to a lot of new stuff, The Bronx, The Chariot and this girl Priscilla Ahn, she’s really fit. She is good musically too though.

What about some all-time favourites?

Tom Waits. ‘Rain Dogs’ is a great song.

Also Crash Test Dummies: ‘God Shuffled His Feet’, the album, don’t really like anything either side of that album, but that was great.

You direct your own videos, produce your own music, make films, reply to Youtube comments, (which is amazing). Do you feel that sets you apart?

Well I only reply to some of them but I guess it does. In terms of the people that have established themselves as being fans, they like it, which is great.

But as for trying to convey a song to a new audience, they don’t really give a damn and will probably never know if I direct the videos or not, no one else is gonna fucking do that stuff anyway...

Where does the inspiration for your songs come from, songs like

‘She’s Got You’ is about a mate of mine who had this girlfriend who was a fucking lying nutjob.

What’s your dream guitar? Favourite tone?

For heavier stuff and distortion I like EMGs. And for clean stuff, EMGs are good because they’re crisp; I haven’t fucked around with that much stuff.

Fenders sound really nice. I dunno, just use what I’ve got at the time.

So I heard you got kicked out of sixth form, what happened?

I never went to any classes really, they were sort of useless. Just teasing me with information but not letting me practice. The teachers used to park in the car park and I got kind of pushed through a car window; can’t remember how it happened. My memory’s fucked... Anyway, they said ‘you better leave’ and I didn’t fight it.

I heard you’ve written loads of songs for the future.

Yeah... The next couple albums are done. I thought it’d be a good unique selling point, to have a wide variety of stuff. So you could have metal heads, rap lovers, or whatever that could come and watch a set and maybe like some bits and educate themselves about other bits. But my managers thought that hugely narrows the potential audience. I dunno, it all costs money. Having lots of stuff restricts you in many ways and it has done for me.

You make films too, I watched The Alleyway, a great short film you made.

I did. Yeah watch it, it’s short, it won’t bore you to death.

Anything you wanna plug?

The new single ‘Tell Me Who to Be’ is coming out soon. I’m also trying to film a feature film next year, so trying to work on that, and I’ve been trying to get into acting but that’s been really difficult, because I haven’t done much of it before and they just won’t give me a shot. Plus there’s this whole practice of having to sell yourself. Sell what? I have no redeeming qualities.

And finally how many different instruments do you play?

Piano, guitar, banjo, slide guitar, accordian, recorder, whistles, uke, mandelin, double bass, regular bass, drums, hammond organ.

I never went to any classes really, they were sort of useless.

Just teasing me with information but not letting me practice.

Got anything to say to budding artists?

Anthony Demetriou You’re in charge of your own quality control. And you know, I fucking hope you know, if something you’ve created is shit. Don’t make something shitty, un-thorough and pointless, just because Radio One says that’s great.

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2013 COLLECTION

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s l a v i t s e F

Your Ultimate Guide: TO THE Most Epic Festivals

PART 2

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Leeds/Reading 23th TILL 25nd AUGUST 2013

vibe

Lots of emphasis on the music. There is not really any other activities or things to see and do.

You are there to shout and scream at the bands you love. A mix between young people, as it is often where the kids go after finishing Year 11 (remember that?) and angry older men who like death metal.

MUSIC

If you’re into rock music then Reading and Leeds have some of the best line-ups out there. The 2013 line-up includes Biffy Clyro, System of a Down and Fall Out Boy

TICKETS

£197.50 for the weekend. Individual days vary but around £85 for the Friday, Saturday or Sunday alone.

GO IF YOU LIKE What iS IT about

Reading and Leeds festivals are for the hardcore rock fans among us.

The line up is always pretty impressive, filled with the new stuff to the old school classics that everyone knows all the words too. There are several stages, including a dance tent and a BBC Introducing Stage. There is often a lot of moshing involved so be prepared to either get out the way or dive in and get involved.

There is a lot of sitting around campsites at Reading and Leeds. If the bands you don’t want to see are on, then time is usually spent pre-drinking for the next band you do. This can be a lot of fun, but Reading and Leeds is not the one if you want to go exploring and find some strange and unusual things going on.

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Rock music. Aggressive behavior. Throwing bottles at My Chemical Romance. Having permanent marker all over your body, mostly in the shape of penises. Campfires. Arson.

DONT GO IF

You want to make jewellery or spend the afternoon making clay butterflies. You’re into poetry. You cannot bare the thought of someone shouting “ALAN” or “Buttscratcher” once more in your lifetime.

DONT MISS

The Headline Acts. Reading and Leeds festival always goes out with a bang, and the finishing acts for each of the days are nearly always incredibly impressive.

09/04/2013 23:49

Outlook

29th August TILL 2nd September 2013

What iS IT about

If you fancy traveling far and wide for a festival then Croatia is the place to go. Crystal clear turquoise seawater on pebbled beaches, scattered with pine trees is something I’d never really experienced before. The campsite itself is stunning when you compare it to the muddy fields back home. Next, stick a bunch of (very good-looking…for some reason) people on a beach with speakers and stages to shame Stealth and you have something close to perfection.

At night, the festival is spread out over a huge pebbled beach and an ancient “Fort”. Picture a castle, like something from the medieval times, separated into different areas with DJ’s and MC’s blasting sound through the turrets, the dungeons and even the castle moat. There really is something incredibly surreal about this place.

My warning would be, expect to be sick to death of drum and bass, house, dubstep, and all genre’s alike by the time you go home. You will hear a hell of a lot of it!

MUSIC

Drum and Bass. Tons of it. Oh and Reggae. And both sort of mixed together quite a bit.

vibe

In the day it’s very chilled out. Think a mix of Bob Marley with Congo Natty by the sea sipping a beer. At night everything changes and goes a little bit mad. You won’t stop dancing until you watch the sun rise over the ocean at around 9am.

vibe

KETS TICSIC MU GO IF YOU LIKE

£135 not including camping

Going mental. Beautiful beaches. Sunshine.

Probably losing the plot completely. But most importantly….Drum and Bass.

DONT GO IF TICKETS

You find guys in snapbacks, brightly coloured mock Ray-Ban sunglasses and vests annoying. Oh and waving their hands at you in a “mixing” motion to the sound of the bass.

(There will be a lot of this).

GO IF YOU LIKE DONT MISS

The Boat Parties. There’s around 30 different boat parties at £15 each pre-booked, both in the day and at night. Boats pull into the harbor and take you out to sea with DJ’s spinning the decks as you get drunk and party.

Definitely must be done at least once!

DONT GO IF

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Bestival

5TH TILL 8TH SEPTEMBER 2013

What iS IT about

Bestival is a fairly new festival, which has suddenly become immensely popular with students. It takes place on the Isle of Wight and is growing rapidly. It has a different fancy dress theme every year, which you can either choose to stick with and go as full out as you like, or simply dress as a banana.

This festival is far more compact and easier to move around, with each field or area having its own genre and theme. Expect to find Spiegel tents with music and dancers playing into the night, funfair rides, magic wishing trees and plenty of shisha tents. There’s always plenty to do here no matter what. Make sure you explore some of the less obvious things like the Swamp Shack- a beaten down shed at the back of the Wishing Tree field playing some serious beats when you venture inside (you get me).

VIBeE vib Very similar to Glastonbury. There is definitely a fun, care – free atmosphere, with crazy artwork, shops and unusual things going on like a Roller Disco. The difference is that Bestival is certainly aimed at the more “Student” 18 – 25 age range, so it’s a little bit edgier.

MUSIC

As it’s created by established DJ, Rob Da Bank, expect a lot of DJ’s to be playing. House, Drum and Bass, Trance, Commercial, you name it. Bestival has also taken to some classics, with the likes of The Cure, Sister Sledge and the legendary Stevie Wonder. This year will see Sir Elton John and Snoop Dogg headline.

TICKETS

£190 for weekend camping.

This year’s theme is HMS Bestival and tickets are now on sale.

GO IF YOU LIKE

DJ’s. Fancy Dress. Glitter. Exploring. Not taking yourself too seriously. Weird and wonderful places to have a bit of fun.

DONT GO IF

You prefer classic rock bands. You enjoy dressing hardcore. You find people dressed as bananas annoying.

DONT MISS

The Ambient Forest. Especially at night! A walkway through the hills of the forest with trippy lighting, music, musical instruments and even an outdoor cinema.

m

C

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E

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G TH N I V A E L

Things you must see before you graduate!

The Cornerhouse, Nottingham Wollaton Park, Nottingham

Nottingham Castle, Nottingham

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It’s easy to do. You come to Nottingham as a fresher, think you’ve got ages to see it all and before you know it, you’ve graduated and never even seen the castle.

Within Nottingham there really are plenty of things to do, all day and every day of the year to suit student budgets. From heading to the great outdoors, visiting the music arena or seeing a play, there are a few things that you simply must do before you graduate.

Sightseeing and exploring might not be top of your list as a student, but Nottingham is going to be your home for the next 3 years so you might as well see some things that don’t include the bottom of a Jaeger pint or the holy grail that many of us call Ocean.

First you must see Nottingham’s most famous landmarks- Robin Hood and the castle. As you’ve probably noticed, Robin Hood tends to dominate Nottingham’s attractions and his statue resides just opposite the castle. Nottingham Castle is only a short walk away from the city centre so don’t worry you won’t be aimlessly ambling around looking for a man made out of stone. Another positive is that when you’ve made it to the top of the castle, you’ll be glad to know that there’s a café. Admission is free during the week, perfect for tight arse students like our selves.

If sightseeing isn’t your thing, do NOT panic. Nottingham is full of other fantastic things. The Cornerhouse is

one of the latest venues to hit the city, and claims to “have it all under one roof”.Just across the road from the City Site of Trent University, it is a bustling place of restaurants, bars and a cinema. The cuisine on offer ranges from South Asian to Japanese and Mexican. There is also a huge Cineworld so you can see a film using your NUS card for discounts. Food places include Harvester (mmm salad cart), Pizza Hut, Nandos, TGI Fridays and Turtle Bay. Red Hot has just opened an all-world food buffet in the complex, just imagine pizza for starter, Chinese and Indian for main and carvery for pudding. The word heaven comes to mind. The slug and lettuce is also a must visit with 2 – for – 1 cocktails (try the long island ice tea) and 2 –for – 1 puddings (try the cookie crumble ice cream).

If your parents are up and you’re trying to convince them that Nottingham is a cultured, sophisticated city instead of a city brimming with chavs and crime, take a visit to Jamie’s Restaurant in the Lace Market. This lovely place is owned by well-known chef Jamie Oliver and is a real treat. Try the sharing platter starters and the burger with rosemary chips- who knew chips could taste even better than they already do.

Definition of perfection.

As you wander around Nottingham you will soon realise it is full of bars and clubs. Before you graduate you must visit at least half of these. An absolute must if you’re looking for a casual drink is Tilt. A relatively unknown bar among most students and nestled discreetly on Pelham St, this bar has the best cocktails in the

city. The bar has an intimate feel and would be perfect for that first date or casual drinks with the girls. The drinks are reasonably priced and they do a Happy Hour every day between 5 & 7.

For those who see themselves as the cultured arty type, the Nottingham Playhouse is a must see. Located just out of the city centre the Nottingham Playhouse shows a huge range of different productions throughout the year, from well-known Shakespeare to Phillip Pullman for the kids. If you don’t fancy sitting through a show, the Playhouse is also a great place to grab a coffee, or something stronger if you fancy it. It also has a very popular restaurant that is always packed in the evening before a big production.

It’s located just off Derby Road and a little tucked away, but it’ll be worth the find.

Well known to many Uni of Nottingham students, Wollaton Park is often overlooked by Trent undergrads.

But in the summer, Wollaton Park is perfect for lazy afternoons and boozy BBQ’s. It’s a little out the city centre, but if you feel like big city life is all getting on top of you, it’s the perfect remedy. Any Batman lover will tell you that Wollaton Hall, located in the park, was the set for Wayne Manor in The Dark Night Rises film.

Nottingham is a great city and if you’re a student here, there is no doubt you’ll love every minute of it. Just make sure you break away for typical student hangouts just once and you will realise that Nottingham has a lot more to see than you first thought.

Lucy Acton

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s w e N e i v o M

Corne

DESPICABLE ME 2

Hollywood’s been producing a whole bunch of brilliant films lately and it’s not slowing down anytime soon. We aren’t even half way through the year and 2013’s already given us Les Miserables (which took over $400 million worldwide from ticket sales), a new release from Tarantino and Ryan Gosling’s return to our screen in Gangster Squad. The rest of the year will continue to spoil us with these new releases. Yes, the Hangover Part III is included.

IRON MAN 3

If you’re a fan of animation films, you must watch Despicable Me. The second instalment about a Gru, his minions and the girls looks to be just as good as the first. There’s little known about the film at the time of writing, the trailer doesn’t give much away, but the minions and the girls and are endearing as ever.

THE HANGOVER 3

Robert Downey Jnr returns to our screens this April as Tony Stark. Iron Man 3 sees Tony Stark confronted by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin who is set on destroying his world and everything around him.

As he fights his way back, he must discover the answer to the haunting question: does the man make the suit, or does the suit make the man?

The conclusion to the hugely successful trilogy and there is no wedding and no bachelor party…so what happens I hear you thinking? Well. We aren’t really sure what exactly the Wolfpack get up too this time, but they are heading back to Vegas and one thing’s for sure- it won’t be pretty. We can’t wait to see it.

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CornerhouseAd_Layout 1 18/01/2013 12:42 Page 1

SHOULDN’T YOU GET OUT MORE?

For great student discounts get a free Cornerhouse Card www.cornerhouse.tv @cornerhousetv

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the cornerhouse

09/04/2013 23:50

now that’s what we call 90s e d a c e D a f Albums o If you’re like me then you will agree that 90s music had some of the greatest and most memorable breakthroughs that the music industry has seen. 90’s music was all about the artists staying true to their music genre, there was no sign of RnB mixed in with dance or rappers collaborating with country music stars. Notorious B.I.G.’s (Biggie Smalls) album ‘Ready to Die’ was probably one of the most played Hip Hop albums of the 90’s and is said to be one of the greatest Hip Hop albums of all time.

Biggie smalls’ music is still celebrated today, however, it was Dr Dre’s album ‘The Chronic’ which made great waves in the music industry. This album, released in 1992, made way for other artists such as Biggie, Jay-Z, Eminem and Tupac Shakur to gain such fandom and really highlighted the pinnacle of Hip Hop music at the time.

But the 90’s weren’t just about Hip Hop music, lest we forget the battle of the bands. By this I mean the rise of The Spice Girls, The Backstreet Boys and every other cheesy pop band which made us go into hysteria. As much as we might not like to admit it, the Spice Girls debut album ‘Spice’ is still considered to be one of the greatest pop albums ever made and will continue to be many people’s guilty pop pleasure. Their worldwide phenomenon was something the music industry had not seen in a girl band and they dominated most of the UK charts throughout the 90’s.

Over in America there was rivalry between the Backstreet Boys and N-Sync, both had great self-titled debut albums and they all had the same cheesy lines to make teenage girls go crazy for them. The pop music scene was at its peak in the 90’s, this was when Britney Spears’ debut album

‘Baby One More Time’ was released, she then shaped the next phase in pop music with regards to her sexuality and whether or not it was too risqué. Soon every girl wanted to be like Britney in her ‘Baby One More Time’ video.

There were certainly great albums for the older generation too, Oasis had taken the nation by storm with their album ‘(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?’ with songs such as ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ and ‘Wonderwall’ creating Oasis mass success.

Obviously these are a select few albums that were generated in the 90s, but whether it was going out with friends, chilling at home or lounging by a pool these songs trigger nostalgia and may be why they are still played today.

Shivani Parmar

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We interviewed:

O H W S E V LO

Kel Mitchell!

E G AN

Wassup Kel, it’s great to talk to you.

What was your favorite thing about being Kel? All the physical comedy I got to do. I felt like a stunt man with all the crazy things I would do with that character.

Did you ever imagine that the show would become such a huge hit?

We did not know it would become as big as it did. It’s a blessing I am glad people love it even today.

Were you always ‘The funny one’, by that I mean were you considered the class clown off the screen?

Oh yes when I was young. I would always be joking around. I remember my first day of school. I introduced myself as the incredible hulk I jumped on a table, talked as the Hulk and through my chair. It was a great performance as the Hulk and my classmates loved it but I got into a lot of trouble when my parents found out.

Would you/ are you encouraging your kids to get into show biz?

No. I would never push a career like this on my children, but I would support them if they had a love for it. You have to love this to do it. It is a hard business to be in and if you are just doing it for the money or for all the wrong reasons it can really mess you up.

What do they think about Kenan and Kel, do they ever get embarrassed?

They enjoy it. Its great seeing my kids laugh at the show.

Who was more popular with the ladies, you or Kenan?

I would have to say me.

What Kenan & Kel episode was the most fun to shoot? Are there any that stand out?

The Thanksgiving episode when I had my hand stuck in a hot turkey and ran around tearing up everything in my way swinging the turkey around.

Was there any ‘hanky panky’ between different Nick stars? Did Sabrina and Kenan ever get down to it?

LOL no we were all like a big family, sisters and brothers.

Do you actually like Orange Soda? Do you get sick of people asking if you like orange soda?

OR ! ? !

A D SO

Is it scary to think that you are now considered ‘retro’?

Nope because I’m not retro, but the show is and my character from Kenan and Kel is and that’s pretty cool. It is very humbling and a blessing that it was part of so many people’s childhood.

Do you reckon Obama watched Kenan and Kel? Oh yeah. Would be awesome if he did. Let’s just say he has.

If there was one thing you could tell your 90’s self what would it be?

Everything you do is based on the choices you make so make positive choices.

Were there ever any feuds between Disney and Nickelodeon stars?

Oh yeah it was war... LOL. Just joking. There was never any feuds that was just a rumor we were all just kids enjoying ourselves.

Why did Kel put the screw in the tuna?

I did actually like Orange soda, that would have been brutal if I didn’t. I had to drink a lot of it on the show. I’m okay with people asking if I like it and I reply with the “I do” phrase. It’s fun putting a smile on they’re faces.

It was an accident.

And finally we ask every celebrity we interview this question, we’re called Uni2 Know so we ask, what is something we need to know about Kel Mitchell? What is something the normal fans won’t know about you?

I love watching K-pop music videos.

Thank you very much for talking to us!!

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VARSITY SPORTS NIGHT:

CRISISvs.

OCEAN

Wednesday

It’s Varsity Season in Nottingham. After ten events, including the memorable last minute winner in the ice hockey, Uni have capitalized on shoddy performances from Trent to wrap with the series. They have gained an unassailable lead of 8-2 with only five events remaining. But the most important category has yet to be decided; that of the sports social night. To find out Uni2 sent one Trent student to judge which is the superior Wednesday night; Crisis or Ocean?

an area known to the DJ’s as ‘fingerers’ corner’ and the toilets would probably violate the Geneva Convention.

The queue is madness, there is always a fight and you will never leave with the accessory you came in with. The worst bit of the night however is when they decide to turn the horrifically bright lights on, this is when you can see what you’ve be grinding with all night, this is when you sink or swim, cry or laugh, run or stay. It is a dangerous night for many reasons, but it is usually worth the risk.

This is a highly debated subject, the majority of UoN students swear by Crisis whilst NTU students are adamant that Ocean is better. However many of these students have not experienced the other night; this is where I step in. As an experienced 3rd year I have dabbled in pretty much every night Nottingham has to offer. Admittedly I am a Trent student, however my friendship group stretches over into the great expanse that is Lenton. I have been to many nights at Crisis and plenty at Ocean, so I certainly have the credentials to judge.

crisis

OCEAN It’s very simple. It’s on a Wednesday night, it’s at ocean and there’s a lot of alcohol and costumes. All sports socials and many other societies go through bar crawls; however many just do heavy pre drinks (this is probably wise if you are dressed as a traffic cone). It is where class, decency, self-respect and clean t-shirts go to die; whether this is a bad thing is entirely debatable. Ocean is great as you can let the ‘real you’ out, whether that be a cardboard box, a Baywatch ‘slut’ or a Primark onesie. The music is tacky, the drinks are unnaturally coloured and it’s brilliant. There is

This event is mostly for UoN students, however there is the occasional Trent stowaway. This night differs from every other at Rock City as the Black Cherry Lounge is open as an entrance to the club. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s just to make the UoN students feel a little special. People tend to dress reasonably smart (especially when you compare it to the Ocean attire). Crisis is occasionally themed nights but this only happens sporadically. It’s a smarter night than most Trent nights, it’s a different set of people and they have a photo booth! The music is standard chart stuff and it is generally very busy. Whether you are completely wasted or slightly tipsy it is a great night. The general consensus around Trent is that Uni of girls are stuck up. Have a night at Crisis and this perception will be shattered immediately. A male ‘Trenter’ told me that he once brought a girl back by simply using the line ‘I only live round the corner’. It seems that Crisis is the place for Trent lads to pick up a girl with more than just physical assets.

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Annoyingly you do have to purchase a ticket beforehand in order to guarantee entry and even then there is still an extremely long line to contend with. Not only this but as a Trent student there is that awkward moment where you have to pull out your NTU student card and the guys behind you are glaring viciously at it, some simple advice… scarper quickly.

CONCLUSION So you’ve read my description of both, my experiences and stories I’ve heard from both and now you’re awaiting my judgment call. To find out which the better night is.

Well here it is, the moment every student in Nottingham has been waiting for, the moment that the issue students have been arguing about for generations is finally decided and here it is ….Drum Roll please. Both.

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Where can I get some food to cure my hangover around here

So you’ve been on a big night out. You’ve had the ‘lads’ or the ‘huns’ over for pre – drinks and decided it would be an excellent plan to see-off your entire pint glass of Sainsbury’s Basics vodka and cheap lemonade just as the cabs are arriving. You’ve danced the night away while carelessly guzzling down the Sambuca, and a roar of ‘another round of jäger-bombs’ has regrettably been heard more times than the bouncer has kicked you out. You wake up the next day - mouth dry, head banging and room spinning. You sit through your lecture focussing more on not throwing up on the girl sitting in front of you, than anything of important matter that is for the brave souls that manage to leave their beds.

You’re feeling like all hope is lost in these moments of hung-over despair, and that returning to bed to watch Grey’s Anatomy is the most productive thing you’ll accomplish all day – but fear not.

There is always brunch! The thing we all look forward to most of all when we’re feeling like this is of course hangover food. Food that will somehow make us feel better and worse all at the same time but still satisfy our needs to soak up the beer in our swirling bellies.

So where are the best places to go?

Spanky Van Dykes Nottingham Trent’s local. Spanky’s uber-cool vibe is what really attracts the students. Quirky posters, paintings and a selection of bizarre collected items disguise every inch of wall and ceiling space in this hipster’s paradise. Squishy leather sofas that allow your hangover to melt away, low lighting and homely furniture make this place ideal for hangover lunch. Not to mention the food.

FOOD

Burgers and chips of a very high standard. The chips are double cooked for a delicious crunchy taste – hello hangover heaven. The Sunday roast is also made to perfection.

WHERE

Opposite the Newton Building on the corner by Rock City

AVOID IF

The Horn in Hand is right next to Spanky’s and offers what You’re on a diet. You get given a VERY large portion of chips with is basically a cheaper version of a very similar menu. Ideal if you’re after a hangover lunch but don’t want to pay too much. every meal and they are far too delicious to pass off.

The atmosphere is more ‘typical pub’ with sports channels projected on to the wall and pints that wont break the bank.

FOOD

HORN IN HAND

Chicken dippers and bangers and mash are my pick from the menu. There is a great 2 meals for £6 deal and a bacon sarnie will only cost you £2.50

WHERE AVOID IF

Opposite the Newton Building next to Spanky’s

You’re after something really tasty (or again – healthy) the food is cheap but unsurprisingly pretty basic.

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BROWN BETTY'S The ultimate hidden gem. Brown Betty’s is unknown to most students but offers incredible food for an unbelievable price. From the outside it looks like a shabby sandwich shop as workers pop in and out on their lunch breaks. However, go in and you will experience the tastiest food served on oversized plates. Warning – your eyes will be bigger than your belly. Think healthy chicken curry with yoghurt and mint, spaghetti Bolognese and the ultimate breakfast ciabatta.

FOOD

The biggest ciabattas you’ve ever seen. The biggest salads, pastas and curries you’ve also ever seen.

WHERE

The walkway off of Market Square where you’ll also find Wednesday Ocean bar ‘Up & Down Under’.

AVOID IF

You want to sit down and relax with your friends – this place doesn’t have much space and you sit on hard wooden benches.

HOMEMADE Another hidden gem. The window display could easily fool you into thinking it’s a cake shop. Look beyond this and they do incredible chunky sandwiches with plenty of different fillings. Healthy salads and soups are great on a hangover if you fancy some good tasty food without drowning your stomach in high calorie junk food.

WHERE AVOID IF FOOD

A chunky toasted sandwich, big bowls of salads and delicious homemade cakes.

Hockley area, on the right hand side of the street if you’re walking towards Bodega/Market Bar/Baa Bar from market square.

There is a large group of you. Limited seating and prices are not exactly aimed at students. Perfect with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Rosie Baker-Williams

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MOBILE

Disasters

University is a particularly hazardous time for mobile phones, with many students going through at least one a year. To help combat this problem, we’ve produced this guide to ensure that your phone can survive university.

My first tip would be immediate reaction.

It may seem obvious, but in my experience damage to a mobile phone is usually followed by a rabbit-in-the-headlights look of disbelief followed by an I-haveleft-it-too late look of despair. When my sister’s phone fell into a swimming pool she watched it sink almost to the bottom, motionless with a bemused, rather vacant look on her face, before looking up at me with an expression that said ‘why is this happening?’. Even more inexplicably she then stopped to take off her Primark cardigan and shoes (wouldn’t want to ruin them) before jumping in to save her phone. I would imagine my boyfriend had a similar expression on his face when he dropped his phone in a cup of tea. I cannot say for certain however as I was in a different city trying to contact him regarding an essay he was supposed to hand in on my behalf for a deadline that day. Most student phone mishaps I know of have the added excuse created by alcohol. This was the case with the phone as a teabag incident. He was nursing what I am told was a frightful hangover and to keep walking to a minimum he was carrying his phone and cup of tea in one hand.

Quite how he managed to flip the phone into the tea I will never know, but the important thing was the result – a very dead phone.

Damage to a mobile phone is usually followed by a rabbit-in-the-headlights look of disbelief followed by an I-have-left-it-too late look of despair However had he been carrying a glass of water all may not have been lost. This brings me to my second tip. Despite the delayed reaction my sister’s phone survived thanks to a bowl of rice on a radia-

tor. If you cover the phone with un-cooked rice and leave it in a warm place for a few days it may survive. If however you turn it on before it is completely dried all hope is lost. Those silica gel packets you get in new bags or shoes are far more effective than rice, though more difficult to come by.

My third tip would be that breast pockets are no place for mobile phones, nor are bikini tops. My sister’s phone ended up in the pool because of a particularly interesting bug floating on the water, and gravity.

A friend of mine also lost their phone in a pot of paint while trying to earn a little extra money (towards the end of term) by helping paint a relative’s house. Her phone was in the top pocket of her overalls and as she leant down from the top of a step ladder to get more paint, it fell into the paint pot. Unfortunately, if you find yourself in this (admittedly rather unlikely) situation I cannot help you – a phone submerged in paint is a complete write off. In fact anything other than clear water is likely to kill your phone as the girl who stuck her hand into a festival portal loo (think Trainspotting) to retrieve her iPhone found out.

As the most common underlying cause for students losing or breaking phones is alcohol I might suggest avoiding the substance (Ha, waste of printing space) or leaving your phone at home on nights out (equally unlikely). A more realistic, though also more tricky, solution would be simply securing your phone. I’ve known clutch bags dropped, coats left, pockets picked and shoulder bags abandoned in clubs. A friend of mine (while very drunk), tried to put his iPhone in his pocket and missed, smashing the thing on the floor, another one thought he had put his blackberry in his back pocket but twenty minutes after getting out of the taxi realised he had in fact left it on the seat. The apparently unrelated tip number four comes from this anecdote – be nice to taxi drivers. Had he been more polite and paid the full fair without complaint the taxi driver may have returned the phone. I have known other taxi drivers return lost items including phones, although none anywhere near as pricey as a blackberry.

you may forget only to have it fall out into a toilet, put it in the front pocket and it will ruin the silhouette of your outfit. Zip pockets are perfect but are usually only found on jackets which are easily left behind. If you are very drunk there is an unavoidable chance of losing your phone.

For girls the bra is pretty secure– however you do run the risk of losing it in a toilet or bin while throwing up.

So my final tip is password protect and be careful what you store on it – no one wants compromising pictures of them hitting the internet. This is particularly dangerous if your Facebook account is logged on permanently – easy to upload anything for your friends and family to see.

Password protecting will help but some people can find a way round this. Savvy thieves (or ex’s) can often simply remove the memory card of a locked phone and put it straight in their computer, so keep anything you wouldn’t want people to see (but for whatever reason find essential ) on your phones internal memory.

Or you could just get a Nokia.

Laura Cann

There are, as far as I am aware, no foolproof night-out phone storage methods.

For girls the bra is pretty secure– however you do run the risk of losing it in a toilet or bin while throwing up. The pockets of skinny jeans are also fairly safe, however as a girl if you put it in the back pocket

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We’re Not Just

Chuck

ing ARR OW S

Most people’s opinion of darts probably consists of fat, old men, sweating like Dawn French on a treadmill, whilst swigging from a bottle of Newcastle Brown.

Twenty years ago they would have been right. But one man, sports promoter Barry Hearn, has transformed simply ‘chucking arrows’ into one of the most popular sports on TV. The potential for darts to become a huge sport wasn’t fully realised until 2005, when Sky Sports introduced the ‘Premier League’ where the world’s eight best players would tour the UK to play each other in front of the TV cameras. The format still runs today, and with the Nottingham leg coming up in March – for which I am lucky enough to have tickets – over 5000 people are expected to attend and drunkenly cheer on the likes of Phil Taylor and Michael van Gerwen. A crowd of 5000 isn’t bad for a pub sport, is it?

It’s not only the numbers turning up that make darts so big, but also the amount of money involved. The winner of the Premier League picks up a handy £125k, with a guaranteed £15k for those who

qualify. Add to that the £200k on offer for winning the World Championship, and it’s easy to see why darts is being taken more seriously. Top players practice for up to six hours a day and are getting fitter and fitter (okay, there’s the odd Andy ‘The Pieman’ Smith), but the lure of the prize money and becoming a sensation on TV – over 1.2million watched the 2013 World Championship final on Sky – makes it clear darts is no longer a hobby, but a sport.

People go to the darts for the same reason as they would go to see any sport, the thrill of live entertainment and atmosphere.

When the Premier League hit the Capital FM Arena the atmosphere was insane, with Planet Funk’s ‘Chase The Sun’ echoing around 5000 rowdy fans. Add to that the walk-on girls, fans placards, brilliant fancy dress, and approximately five pints per person, and you’ll be hard pushed to find a better sporting occasion to attend.

‘Chucking arrows’ used to be considered a pub game but it is now one the most popular and loved sports around, and that is down to Sky Sports and Hearn’s belief that it could be huge – their gamble paid off.

Sam Wildman

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“It’s come to Wainwright on the halfway line, he slithers past one, now two, now three, and he’s slicing through their entire team with ease. He’s thirty yards out with options left and right; he’s not going to need them. Wainwright lets fly, its dipping.

Ooooooooooooooooooooh.

He’s done it, he’s done it, he’s only gone and won the Champions League for Reading. What a brilliant goal, his shirt’s off now as he sprints to the touchline to celebrate with McDermott and his teammates. Wainwright has cemented his place as a living legend of Reading Football Club.”- Martin Tyler and Gary Neville 25th May 2015 Whilst spending time at the computer looking a graduate schemes and masters courses, my mind drifts towards thinking about my legendary career in the beautiful game…

As a professional footballer I was regularly compared to the likes of Pele, Messi and Ronaldo (not the fat one).

As a manager, I emulated the likes of Jose Mourinho, Sir Alex Ferguson and Kevin Keegan. Nevertheless, I remain grounded, mainly due to my humble beginnings in a leafy, middle class town.

I spend my youth demolishing prominent local and county teams, earnestly signing a professional contract for my local club at the age of sixteen (anyone who knows me should have realised by now which team this is). Two months later and I am a crucial part of the first team, making a significant contribution towards

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My Pipe Dream promotion to the top flight and the Premier League title the season after. My initial foray into Europe is a success, collecting the golden boot and a Champions League medal. (See the first paragraph for a description of the winning goal; it was against Real Madrid, in the ninetieth minute, at Wembley).

After a further two European successes, I reluctantly leave my home town club for fame and glory abroad.

My destination: Barcelona. I spend ten years here, winning countless domestic and European trophies. Internationally, successive England managers refuse to select me, until, aged thirty, my former manager at my local team - let’s call him Brian McDonut - picks me and gives me the captain’s armband. After two European Championships and a World Cup, I finally call it a day and put my feet up.

Three years of playing golf and Match of the Day punditry has taken its toll.

I was itching to get immersed into the day to day proceedings of football.

Managing Oldham Athletic for three seasons was an incredible honour, but after leading them to successive promotions, League and FA Cups,

it became abundantly clear that I was destined for better things. My hometown team came calling, where I bought the glory days back. After cutting my teeth at club level it was time to test myself internationally. As you are all probably aware I managed the England side to consecutive World Cups.

Obviously, none of this happened in reality. Anyone that has seen me play football can testify as to how hopeless I am at the sport. I am merely just a first-rate fantasist, conjuring up a career in a profession where I have no chance of succeeding. In reality, I am just like any other student, delaying thinking about getting a real job and taking for granted the alarmingly large amount of free time I have before employment snatches it away from me.

Maybe if I paid more attention to my actual life instead of wiling away my hours daydreaming of becoming the next Adam Le Fondre, I would be as successful as my imaginary self? Nah, scoring against Real Madrid is far more entertaining!

Darius Wainwright

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T S I L Y A L P THE SEX

disaster

You are half way through a mind-blowing shag. She’s the best you’ve ever had. It’s been half an hour and you’re still going strong. You aren’t even drunk. Suddenly, Peter Andre’s ‘Mysterious Girl’ starts playing on your laptop. It takes a while for you to notice, you think perhaps you’re imagining it? But oh no, it is definitely playing. It starts to get awkward and you’re wondering how

Dry Your Eyes Mate- The Streets

With lyrics that include ‘lick my pussy and my crack’ and ‘all you ladies pop your pussy like that’, this song could win an award for the biggest libido killer in the history of music. The shocking lyrics alongside the terrible backing track are enough to scare even the brassiest of women and it makes oral sex sound like the sleaziest act ever. God for bid, if this song did ever come on during a session of cunnilingus, don’t under any circumstance take advice from the lyrics.

My Neck, My Back – Khia

1

the fuck your I-tunes found this amongst the other 1,000 songs it could have randomly selected in its shuffle mode. After an awkward goodbye, you realise you need to prevent this from ever happening again, you set to work on your specially selected ‘sex playlist’. These songs should NEVER appear on any sex playlist:

Possibly the most awkward song to come on during sex, ‘Dry Your Eyes Mate’ would kill the mood in a second.

If she didn’t think you were trying to get over an ex, she would definitely think you were unstable. If you are trying to get over an ex, this song may conjure emotions that, if drunk, could end with you crying and her running for the door. Keep ‘Fit But You Know It’ out of the playlist as well, she might get the wrong impression.

2

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3 Still D.R.E.- Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre

5

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4 I Get Around- The Beach Boys

Smack My Bitch Up- The Prodigy

r

This one’s obvious for two reasons. The name of the song ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ probably isn’t going to go down well with a woman you’ve just met, especially if it comes on mid sex. It gives off all the wrong messages. If the fact you’re having sex to ‘change my pitch up, smack my bitch up, aaahhhhahhhh ahhhhhhhhh’ doesn’t kill the mood, the tempo definitely will. Having sex to electronic dance music is completely impossible. You are never going to keep up with the tempo and thrusting like an out of control rabbit is only going to scare her more. It’s probably best if The Prodigy stay away from your playlist altogether.

We all have a past, but it’s probably best to tell her after a few drinks and not when you’re in the middle of sex.

If your ‘sex playlist’ is expertly selected and this suddenly comes on, she will think you are trying to say something.

Just leave it out of the playlist.

Keep heavy hip-hop away from any ‘sex playlist’. Even if you love Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre, they just don’t work when you’re having sex. There are a few problems that occur when having sex to hip-hop. First and foremost, you’ll start fucking like a hip-hop star. You’ll momentarily forget you’re in Nottingham and transport your thoughts to rap videos and booties. You’ll probably start thrusting to the beat of the song and spanking her. Just don’t, she will find it awkward and so will you when the song finishes.

So there you have it, a selection of songs that should never be played during sex. There’s many more you could add, in fact there’s pages and pages we could write about songs that would crush the mood. But go with your instincts, if you think Elton John’sCan You Feel The Love, would scare a woman off, you’re probably right.

Emillia Harris

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THROWBACK TO NINETIES

GAMING vourite of mine had to be Sonic even if I did get annoyed with the fact that Tails use to follow you around for the whole game.

Everyone was a kid at heart or probably still is to some extent. Admittedly people grow up and mature but I will always remember the rush that you get when you play an 18+ rated game, at the age of 7.

Duke Nukem always pleased my adolescent mind, with nude woman and blowing up aliens. Even the old school GTA games, which offered a top-down camera view, were an amazing insight into corrupt gun crime and a drug lead lifestyle.

What else could a 7 year old want from life? Living the lifestyle of a gangster or glorified space shooter but doing it all underage. I always thought it gave me more enjoyment the fact that I was doing all of this with games that I shouldn’t have been playing, something that undoubtedly only 90’s kids will understand.

An insight into corrupt gun crime and a drug lead lifestyle: What else could a 7 year old want from life?

For many of you, this will be a throwback to the days when PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 and Wii were ideas yet to be thought of. Take yourself back to carefree days when school was a mere distraction from the games you had waiting at home and class was just a postponement from the games you had planned during lunch. It didn’t matter whether you were playing with Pokémon cards, bulldog or on your Gameboy; gaming was around us everywhere. The 90’s was a time that brought so many amazing consoles and gaming moments. Super Nintendo, PS1 and Sega are just a few among many ancient, yet classic games consoles. Allow me to let your mind wander back.

First off, this is not an article criticising

the games played today. I live in a house with seven boys and it would be hypocritical of me to do so, when a considerable amount of my time is driven to Fifa and COD. Thinking back, if you were like me you would wake up; from your Power ranger bed covers every morning to play Mario Kart. You were addicted to wrestling or more specifically WWE Attitude when it was still The Rock, Bret Hart, Stone Cold and not John Cena. When you wake up nowadays you have to deal with issues ranging from a potential hangover to disso work. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could go back to the days of playing Pokémon Red (yes Red; not Blue), and attempting to get Mewtwo was the most stress you ever endured. A personal fa-

I could list a bunch of games and consoles and you could look at them in appreciation but unfortunately you won’t gain much from that, or subsequently this article. You could get same result from a Google search or Facebook group. Instead, I hope this has offered some nostalgia to what got you out of bed, on the weekends and what you ran home from school to do. Being a child born in the year 1992 I had to grasp the opportunity to write this article to provide a communal sense of reminiscence. The 90’s were an iconic era for gaming and one that all of us can appreciate.

Shanil Nayee

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Goldeneye Goldeneye is one of the most iconic games of all time, and the only tie-in game to be more fondly remembered than the movie that inspired it. Released in 1997, two years after the movie, the single player campaign was largely forgettable, characterised by terrible AI and extremely tricky levels, as anyone who suffered through escorting Natalya past the Archives will testify. It resulted in many broken controllers and the utterance of words that we shouldn’t have known at our tender age.

But the reason so many played the game was not the single player, but the multiplayer.

Few games today can match the intensity of watching the health meter deplete, nor the frustration of being killed by your opponent when they have no bars left, and should really have already died. It was the first popular shooter where you could play with four people, choosing iconic characters from both the movie and the Bond franchise as a whole. In my house, it was always a race over who could get Oddjob.

Speaking of races there was always a scramble for the body armour, a lifesaver in tight situations. Gameplay was fast and frantic and changed dramatically depending on which weapons you picked.

Obtaining the Golden Gun made you feel unstoppable, whereas the infamous Klobb made you feel anything but. Slappers made for silly fun, but the best were proximity mines. Creating a tense game, where one wrong turn would result in

you being blown to smithereens (which Google informs me means a collection of small fragments considered as a whole).

The guns are iconic not just for their firepower but for their sound effects as well.

Every weapon made a distinct noise, many of which will be remembered vividly by gamers today.

The game also lovingly recreated set pieces and locations from the movie, driving a tank through the streets of Moscow and bungee jumping off a dam being two personal highlights. This was exemplified by the intricate level design, with multiplayer shootouts feeling even more epic when they take place at an important location in the film. And of course those who completed the game were rewarded with the entertaining cheats. Playing multiplayer with the Big Head cheat activated was a great laugh and added a new dimension to the game.

Its impact across the gaming industry has been huge. Showing Bungie and Treyarch how to do a First Person Shooter right.

Paving the way for Call of Duty and Halo, two of the biggest franchises in gaming today. But more than anything Goldeneye allowed us to fulfil that childhood dream of being James Bond and brought into being fierce rivalries with friends, over who could wipe the floor with who.

Daniel Fine and Darius Wainwright

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n o m e k o P

CAUGHT THEM ALL? Growing up in the 90s I learnt three things: if I got into a fight I’d end up with my Uncle and Aunty in Bel Air, don’t fuck with Sir Killalot and stay out of the tall grass. Pokémon was inescapable: it was a video game, a TV show, there was even a Pokémon breakfast cereal (which had awesome Pokémon shaped marshmallows). Almost every 90s kid was obsessed with it; I challenge you to find a twenty-something that doesn’t know what the three starters were.

But Pokémon wasn’t simply a momentary trend that entertained us during our childhood, in its own subtle ways Pokémon prepared us for our adult lives. The video game gave us that first sense of what life was like on our own. In Red and Blue you played as a 10 year old kid that ventures away from home for the first time, I agonised over whether to pick travelling out the bleak, Charmander, Bulbasaur or Squir- into isolated wildertle? Or whether to use a master ness of the outball on a wild Zapdos or wait for side world. The game required the illusive Mewtwo? dedication and determination.

We trained, we prepared and we researched, so that we were ready for that final, gruelling battle against the Elite 4. As the game progressed we were forced to make tough decisions, I agonised over whether to pick Charmander, Bulbasaur or Squirtle? Or whether to use a master ball on a wild Zapdos or wait for the illusive Mewtwo?

The trading game, on the other hand, was our first introduction to the harsh realities of the real world. The game marked a dark time for primary schools; playground crime significantly rose in the weeks following the playing cards’ initial release. The card game was effective-

ly a form of gambling. Ultimately, the winner was the one who held the best hand and the game quickly became cutthroat. Shinies had to be closely guarded and trades had to be approached with caution - you didn’t want to end up with an energy card with a sticker of a Articuno. This led to many schools enforcing a blanket ban on Pokémon cards, but this just pushed the game into the urban wilderness beyond the school gates.

The Pokémon anime, which gave us the greatest theme tune in history, served up an example of bad business acumen. Team Rocket were constantly blasting off again and as a result were struggling to make ends meet. Yet they remained obsessed with stealing Ash’s Pikachu.

When staring right in front of them was the answer to all of their economic woes. THEY HAD A TALKING MEOWTH! Judge me if you want, but if I had a talking dog, I would open up some kind of circus act or start a TV show. I definitely wouldn’t waste my time chasing someone else’s mute house rodent. The series was characterised by poor forward planning, as like Team Rocket, Ash’s misguided style of Pokémon training got him nowhere in life. Ash clearly didn’t understand the “Gotta catch em all” concept, as he discarded his Pokémon whenever he felt like it. This included his Charizard. What kind of idiot gives away a Charizard.

Ultimately if you were a 90’s kid you’ll have heard many different titles for what that means.

Some people say we are the Fresh Prince or the Spice Girls generation, but neither of them prepared us for life in the same way that Pokemon did. So really we are the Pokémon generation.

Malcolm Remedios

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THE RETURN OF FORMULA ONE Despite the fact that Sebastien Vettel has won the past three championships, Formula One has arguably never been closer. Gone are the days when Ferrari, through Michael Schumacher, would roll out of the paddock, regularly cruise to a comfortable win, and have the title wrapped up with a decent amount of races left.

Rule changes, financial restrictions and technological innovations have made the glamorous and exorbitant world of Formula One a more level playing field.

Smaller, newer and less iconic teams now have the ability to win races, even if they can’t make an outright tilt at the title.

Despite this Vettel goes into the new season as the undeniable favourite.

Red Bull’s knack of consistently building a car capable of competing with the best, allied with the 25-year-old German’s own incredible metronomic ability, are a formidable pairing.

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Fernando Alonso pushed him incredibly close last season, and is regarded to be the best driver on the grid. The Spaniard seemingly able to compete with anyone even when his Ferrari, for many years the best car on the grid, has been a couple of tenths off the pace.

But then comes the lovable rogue, our very own Lewis Hamilton. Arguably the biggest story of the season, Hamilton’s decision to leave the comforting bosom of McLaren - a team he’d been with since he was a very young teenager - to join Mercedes can be seen as brave and bold or stupid and senseless.

Since their return to the sport Mercedes have been poor. Tyre issues and reliability problems last season left them with a mere single race win to their name and two years prior to that were nothing to write home about either.

Whether their financial muscle and know how, allied with Hamilton’s undisputable talent, is enough to send them to the front of the grid is yet to be seen. If Nico Rosberg, one of the better younger talents in the sport, and Michael Schumacher, the Daddy of the sport, have failed in the last three years, Hamilton’s challenge looks likely to be a tough one.

McLaren moved swiftly to replace Hamilton with 23-year-old Sergio Perez, who will be the clear number two in the team, paving the way for Jenson Button to have his first full tilt at the championship since he won it for Brawn in 2009. Despite the lack of overt tension, there always appeared to be some kind of issue between him and Hamilton and having no clear number one in a team doesn’t tend to end well in Formula One.

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Now the car can be developed for his driving style, a vastly different one to Hamilton’s all action technique, and if McLaren have ironed out their reliability and pit-stop issues from last year, there’s every chance that Button could surprise the majority and win the title.

Felipe Massa and Mark Webber will fill the number two slots at Ferrari and Red Bull respectively as they have for a number of years now, and will no doubt say the classic quotes before the first race of ‘I believe I can win the title’ etc but, of course, they can’t and won’t.

A fourth Briton will appear in the paddock this season, in the form of young Max Chilton, who’ll be driving for Marussia. Comfortably the slowest team on the grid, this is hopefully a stepping stone for Chilton, who fans will hope to see in a quicker car in the coming seasons.

Racing under the Lotus name for the first time last season, the old Renault team did very well, with Kimi Raikkonen on his return to the sport after a two year absence arguably putting in the overall performance of 2012 by coming third in the driver’s championship and still being in with a chance of taking the overall title with a race to go.

The only Scot on the grid, Paul Di Resta, continues to get quicker every year and has a lot of fans in Britain for the way he conducts himself and keeps tucked out of the limelight. Force India are a well backed team and he has consistently exceeded their expectations, to the point where a move to a bigger team can’t be far away.

The 2013 season starts on the 17th March with Australia kicking things off.

Predictions for the title? It’ll be very close again. And if Vettel can win his fourth title in a row, then hats off to him, he’ll go down as one of Formula One’s best ever drivers. But, it’s been far too long for Ferrari and with Alonso seemingly getting quicker in the iconic red car ever year, 2013 could be his time.

George Solomon

The ice cool Fin is one of the most intriguing racers on the grid and is staying with Lotus this season, despite speculation that he might head off elsewhere. But whether he can better his performance, remains to be seen.

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