Special - Not All Violence is Physical

You trusted! You trusted that man who passed by you and thought, without reason, that your body was his own to violate, twitch, fold, open, enter it. He entered a space that belonged to you, your love, and your soul. Maybe you wore a mini-skirt, fitted trousers or simply you were covered up to your neck. Doesnʼt matter. At that moment, your body was his own. You trusted that man that you believed was the love of your life, a relationship that went from when you were a child. You moved in together, and perhaps, you married him. That man that went from flowers to punches, from candies to kicks, from presents to slaps. That man that went from “This night you are so beautiful” to “every time you did the opposite of a normal person can do, you are disgusting, don't you see you are like a whale?”. That man who went from “I love you” to “for me, you can die in front of my eyes, and I donʼt care”. That man who, before he stabbed you to death, already killed your soul.

You trusted that female friend you saw once. You enjoyed evenings, beers, dinners, chats and laughs together. The same friend that one day woke up with a strange will to insult you, hurt you with bitter words, mock you, comment on photos aggressively. She went from an assault on the street to slaps, spits and kicks. There was a reason or not, itʼs not important. The thing that made you suffer was the violence that left you bruises: the blue and visible one that you could cover with make-up, a pair of sunglasses and a dazzling smile and the violet one that stays there imprinted in your memory, difficult to delete and accept. You trusted the world the moment you became a woman. You wanted to undertake a path that could bring you happiness. You didnʼt think the world in front of you began to violate your rights, denigrate you, insult you, make you feel wrong and unsuitable for a world that doesnʼt accept changes. You trusted a work environment in which you were thinking to lead the way. After a lot of studies, practice, and effort, you saw the management position you dreamed of when you were a child. In reality, you noticed you were outclassed, dominated and paid less just because you are a woman. You trusted, and maybe you stopped to do it!

STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

Photoby:CarolnKretzer

Sguardi

Non ho deciso di indossare questo sedere Non ho deciso di indossare questo seno Tu però puoi decidere di non farli diventare un peso. Quando per strada passeggio Quando sono in fila al supermercato Quando vado dal medico E all'università. Posso scegliere i miei pantaloni Ma non il tuo sguardo Posso cambiare maglietta Ma non i tuoi occhi su di me Quelli puoi cambiarli solo tu.

Il mio petto e il tuo Sono gli stessi I nostri sguardi Invece Sono diversi. Il tuo sguardo porta con sé il desiderio Il mio porta con sé la paura Del tuo desiderio. Io non posso scegliere Tu si.

MariaPanicali

I did not decide to wear this bottom I did not decide to wear these breasts You instead can decide not to make them a burden. When I walk down the street When I'm in line at the supermarket When I go to the doctor And to university. I can choose my trousers But not your gaze

I can change my shirt But not your eyes on me Only you can change those. My chest and yours Are the same Our glances Instead Are different. Your gaze carries desire Mine carries the fear, the fear of your desire.

I cannot choose You can.

MariaPanicali

FindingFreedom

I wake up every morning scheming my escape But what about my children?

Who will believe me? Who will give me a home? Years go by and I am still waiting When will this end?

My makeup does not cover my bruised face My smile does not hide my haggard visage Yet, no one comes to help They say: it will get better They say: donʼt talk about it They say: this was my fate They say: a woman must tolerate Donʼt air your dirty laundry, they say. When will this end?

Once again, he drags my body to the floor He chokes me and I beg him not to kill me Once again, he demands my silence Once again, he tells me I donʼt deserve to live

I have had enough I will not be silent I will live I will find freedom This will end today.

Poemaboutmyrights

Even tonight and I need to take a walk and clear my head about this poem about why I canʼt go out without changing my clothes my shoes my body posture my gender identity my age my status as a woman alone in the evening alone on the streets alone not being the point the point being that I canʼt do what I want to do with my own body because I am the wrong sex the wrong age the wrong skin (…)”

June Jordan

StumblingSouthward

[…] Woman, alon, unfriended

You meander through the jungle of grime Mental states of mass confusion

Flowing through Your head

Jumbled messages Lacking fusion As the bench becomes your bed

Images blur before your eyes Violation against your will Odd shapes and color coverge Collide

Your blink to clear them still Like mixed-up metaphors

You struggle to see Your understanding clouded by A spate of misfired signals Your boggled Brain Wires crossed Feeds you his malicious meal

WhatIwaswearing wasthis:

from the top a white t-shirt cotton short sleeved and round at the neck this was tucked into a jean skirt (also cotton) ending just above the knees and belted at the top underneath all this was a white cotton bra and white underpants (though probably not a set) on my feet white tennis shoes the kind one plays tennis in and then finally silver earrings, and lip gloss.

this is what i was wearing that day that night that fourth of july in 1987. you may be wondering why this matters or even how i remember every item in such detail you see i have been asked this question many times it has been called to my mind many times this question this answer these details.

and i wonder what answer what details would give comfort could give comfort to you my questioners seeking comfort where there is alas no comfort to be found. if only it were so simple if only we could end rape by simply changing clothes i remember also what he was wearing that night even though itʼs true that no one has ever asked.

Mary Simmerling

StillIRise

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? ʼCause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops, Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard ʼCause I laugh like I've got gold mines Digginʼ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, Iʼll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of historyʼs shame I rise

Up from a past thatʼs rooted in pain I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise

Into a daybreak thatʼs wondrously clear I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise.

MayaAngelou

"Hello, I am Maya and I have been a volunteer in Thessaloniki. Now I am studying Art and Politics in Germany. The international day for the elimination of violence against women is now more important than ever. The military is suppressing and brutally attacking the protestors in Iran, the FIFA is ignoring the lack of women ` s rights in Quatar and in Afghanistan the violence against women by the Taliban regime is only getting worse. Also in Europe our society is still dominated by patriarchal structures. So I want to introduce my artworks with a quote from a favorite song of mine by Morgan St. Jean: "We all know that it's not all men, but it's all women." The pictures are all accompanied by a small sentence. These sentences are reactions of some of my friends and family members after I told them about my experience with sexual violence."

"Were you drinking alcohol? Were you drunk?" "What? Are you sure? He's a friend of my brother… Maybe it is a misunderstanding?" "These things just happen sometimes. You just need to learn to cope with it…"

"I know you are very sensible with these feministic things…" "Don't you think you are overreacting?"

Photoby:MayaInnnger

Photoby:MayaInnnger

Photoby:MayaInnnger

"We all know that it's not all men, but it's all women."

MorganSt.Jean

Si Me Matan

Song by Silvana Estrada

Si me matan Cuando me encuentren Que digan siempre Que digan siempre Que fui cantora Viviendo sueños Que como todas Crecí con miedo Y aún así Salí solita A ver estrellas Andar los días Y aún así Salí solita A ver estrellas Amar la vida Si me matan Si es que me encuentran

Llénenme de flores Cúbranme de tierra Que yo seré semilla Para las que vienen Que ya nadie nos calla Ya nada nos contiene Y que suenen los cantos Como un manto tibio Curándonos la herida De lo que hemos perdido Y que un grito cual trueno Nos arranque del duelo Nos han quitado tanto Nos quitaron el miedo Que quede la esperanza Y el azul del cielo Mirarnos a la cara Hermana yo, te quiero

If They Kill Me

Song by Silvana Estrada

If they kill me when they find me that they always say that they always say that I was a singer living dreams like every one of us (women)

I grew up with fear And even so I went out alone to see the stars to walk the days And even so I went out alone to see the stars to love the life

If they kill me if they find me fill me with flowers cover me with soil

that I will be a seed for those who come that now no one stops us that now nothing contains us

And let the songs sound like a warm blanket healing the wound of what we have lost And that a scream like thunder pull out us from mourning

So much has been taken from us They took away our fear Let remain the hope and the blue of the sky To look us in the face Sister I love you

Room by Lenny Abrahamson

A movie about a woman and her son who were held captive for years. They gain freedom but the movie is showing us the psychological consequences of different types of violence (not only physical but also mental). A tough but important film.

Set in a small Turkish village, is a sweet depiction of the relationship between five sisters. They will deal with a patriarchal community that doesn't allow them to be free, physically and psychologically. There is a lot of violence but also strength, with a bittersweet ending.

Mustang by Deniz Gamze Erguven

Big Little Lies by David E. Kelley and Jean Marc Vallèe

A show about the relationships of five women and their daily life: domestic violence, dangerous little secrets and woman solidarity. A tv masterpiece.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt by Tina Fey and Robert Carlock

Is it possible to use humor and comedy to tell a story of a woman who was kidnapped and lived in a bunker for 15 years? This show is a funny but also deep exploration of this topic and the trauma an event like this can cause.

Handmaid's Tale by Bruce Miller

In a dystopic society, after a military coup, a series of rules and laws are implemented in the USA: women's role is controlled and decided by men in charge, they became only a reproductive tool with no freedom. Even if this story may seems impossible and far away, it's actually a wonderfully told metaphor of how we still live in a patriarchal society.

A black comedy focused on a young woman and her traumatic past. It's a smart analysis of rape culture in America with a touch of humor and a very charismatic protagonist.

Promising young woman by Emerald Fennell

HelplinesandNumbers

IRIDA-Women's shelter

Irida Women’s Center is a nonprofit organization that empowers economically and socially vulnerable women to become active members in society and to fulfil their goals and aspirations. In our women led community center, women can find the support they need to address challenges, find solutions and achieve positive change.

Through counseling, legal and psychosocial support, and employability services, women are inspired to share and learn, make responsible decisions for their lives and pursue opportunities for personal and professional development. irida@iridacenter.org

59 Venizelou Street, Thessaloniki 54631,

Greece Phone: +30 2311296392

HelplinesandNumbers

Diotima

The Diotima Centre provides a series of services aimed at supporting and empowering women or women’s groups. All services are free to the beneficiaries. They offer: Legal aid for low-income women (Greek citizens or migrants) survivors of gender-based violence, without access to information and legal support. Services include legal support for appeals to justice, with all expenses covered for matters related to gender-based violence (application for divorce, maintenance claims, pressing charges).

Legal aid for (men and women) refugee survivors of gender-based violence, inhabiting urban spaces or refugee camps. Services provided include legal support for the asylum process (memo drafting, escort and support during interviews, appeals), as well as support to seek justice in matters concerning gender-based violence. Additionally, we provide legal counselling on an individual basis.

HelplinesandNumbers

Diotima Psychosocial support for survivors of gender-based violence. Career counselling services for employed and unemployed, Greek citizens and migrant women. https://diotima.org.gr/ helpdesk.diotima@gmail.com

Athens from 10h to 17h :2108816405. Farsi: 6988587846 French & English: 6988587809 Arabic: 6988528460 urban.athens.diotima@gmail.com (for psychosocial support)

Thessaloniki from 9h to 17h: 2310534445. Farsi/English: 6975872416 email: urban.thessaloniki.diotima@gmail.com Lesbos from 9h to 17h: 2251024730. French: 6982042483 Farsi: 6982042485 lesvos.diotima@gmail.com Samos from 9h30 to 17h30: 2273086271 legal.diotima@gmail.com (for legal aid)

HelplinesandNumbers

General Secretariat for Gender Equality

The General Secretariat for Demography and Family Policy and Gender Equality (GSDFPGE) is the governmental agency competent to plan and monitor the implementation of policies, as well as to implement policies, on equality between women and men in all sectors.

The GSDFPGE also implements co-financed Programmes and Actions through the Coordination, Managing and Implementation Authority for co-funded actions of the Ministry of Interior Phone number: 15900 24/7

HelplinesandNumbers

WHAT TO DO:

In the event of a violent incident that puts you or a member of your family at risk, do not hesitate to leave the house or call 100 or go to the nearest Police Station. The priority is to protect your physical integrity

If you can't call, send a free text message (SMS) to 100 stating: a) address b) full name c) the type of emergency (eg "my life is in danger", "I am being abused by my husband"). If you cannot contact the authorities, ask someone you trust (eg relative, friend, doctor) to do so.

Contact the SOS Line 15900

If you want to leave the house but you don't have a place to stay, call the SOS Line 15900 or go to a Counseling Center so they can refer you to a hostel. You can stay in the hostel for three months with your children. The address of the guesthouses is confidential.

Helplines

Where to Fnd Us?

@balkanhotspot BalkanHotspot.org balkanhotspot@usbngo.gr https://www.balkanhotspot.org/