Colours of Embodiment

The FIRE of creative flow

By Tasha Bodnarchuk

Embers to Flames Releasing the Shame

The essence of the colour orange is creativity, bliss, and connecting to our sexuality and our sexual energy. Our sexual energy, our life force energy, takes us full circle right back to our creativity. They are one and the same. As humans, our most natural truest state is when we can be who we are on the inside and outside with a full and open expression.

This column was hard for me to write. I stopped and started many times, not able to find the rhythm of orange or how to articulate orange in relation to embodiment. Sometimes the gold (or orange in this case) comes from the experience. I tapped into what was contributing to my writer’s block or the inability to express myself. What was stopping the words from flowing? When I dove deeper into this question, I realized that the words were not coming to me because I was not connecting to myself in an authentic way. I was attempting to write when I was tired and feeling energetically depleted and drained.

Embodiment is about expressing yourself in words, actions, and movements through the body and beyond. I realized I wasn’t taking care of myself fully—mind, body, and spirit; and that was contributing to my loss for words. So, I took the pressure off myself and connected to what makes me happy—nature, fresh air, and movement. I am a co-teacher and co-creator at a farm school in Dundas, Ontario four days a week, and it has been so good for my soul to return and to reconnect to the land I spend most of my time on. Today I took time to explore my energy when I am on the farmland and how I feel with the changing season, the cooler temperatures, the naked trees, the soft muddy ground, and this same ground covered with a light blanket of snow on other days. It all made me feel more connected to myself and more open to accepting the ebb and flow of my own body, mind, and mood. Recognizing that change is

inevitable and that going inward to explore the shifts and changes in our bodies and environments is integral to our mental and emotional health.

Today I connected to orange and how it represents our sacral chakra, located at the sacrum/pelvis area of our bodies. I allowed my body to flow and move and jump as it was called to. The result of this natural dance my body called for—and with which I wholeheartedly succumbed to—were these words that you are reading right now. I needed to shake myself up, both literally and figuratively. I was reminded that creativity needs the space to exist. We must declutter and let go of stagnant emotions holding us back to create space for newness in all forms.

If I dig a little deeper, I probably cling to an idea about how I am not enough; how this column and these words are not “enough.” I think this is part of the human condition— self-doubt. For some it runs deeper based on our personal trauma, but within the collective there is baseline trauma. On some level we all have felt “not good enough.” Today I realized I needed to stir up these words from my mind, and I knew I had to move my body so I could release thoughts, beliefs, and ideas about my “not enoughness.”

Embodiment is about expressing yourself in words, movements and actions through the body & beyond.

I go to my body and into my body to work on and move any stagnant emotions, thoughts, ideas, or beliefs that are not serving me. Physical movement allows for the release of mental and emotional blocks. I jumped and danced and tapped into my physical body. Understanding the mind–body connection allows me to feel into how the tightness in my hips and pelvis is connected to insecurity and shame. When I allow my hips to open naturally and my pelvis to move how it needs, there is shame. I can feel shame around my physical desire to move in this way, and then there is shame about what it might look like to others. Layers of shame and judgment locked into my body that I may be aware of or that I may not even be aware of. Layers of my own beliefs compounded by layers of collective shame or familial shame. So, I chose on this day to shake it out and off. To let go of that which was ready to go, sifting and shifting through layers of trauma no longer needing a home in my body.

This simple story of “not feeling enough” had me immobile in my thoughts and caused me to be disconnected from my body and then unable to find the words for this orange edition. This is not just my unique story. I had to move and go inside of myself to move these emotions to the surface and outward. Anyone can do this. We have the key to so much of our individual and personal healing inside of us. It is already there. I needed to move, dance, jump, and do dancer pose all while being outside in the crisp evening air. Make the time to go inward and find stillness and presence to feel into what your body is telling you. Deep breaths allow for a deep connection. Listen. What is your body telling you? What does it need? How does it want to be nourished? How does it want to move, express, and flow? Explore it, move it, and let it go.