Colours of Family

Want to PLAY?

By Heather Bain

Honestly, 2020 was a tough year for families. My oldest daughter stated that my grandsons have missed out a lot so the family was going to focus on experiences they could do together.

That got me thinking about my own childhood. Many happy memories involved enjoying someone’s company. When I was about seven and trying to master the basics of skiing, my dad and I would explore Mount Royal. He walked the trail in front of me as I skied along. At some random point during every trek, he would turn, pull an Oh Henry chocolate bar from his coat pocket, and toss it to me. One time I fell and banged my nose, making it bleed. Dad cleaned me up; we kept on going and Dad threw me my treat like usual. Later he told my mom that we kept going on because, when he asked, I said: “Yes! We’re having fun!”

My mother has always shared her artistic eye, love of colour, and passion for painting—one she shares with my father. She asked our opinions in conversations about her latest piece. We went to art galleries and local exhibits and craft shows. She enrolled in college as an adult to get a diploma in Fine Arts, proving it’s never too late to learn and do what you love.

Both sets of my grandparents moved to our small town after retirement so my sisters and I visited regularly. They told stories, shared memories and family traditions. My grandmother Bain taught me how to make the secret family Scottish shortbread recipe. That day I found out that Granddad taught her to make it as a new bride. I was informed that the only way to get the recipe is to be born or marry into the family. This tradition carries on!

My granddad Murdoch shared his love of reading and was always partway through an adventure novel. We learned his gardening tips, about our Scottish ancestral history, and his pride that all three granddaughters graduated high school and then college or university. He never went because he ran away to sea at thirteen and joined the Canadian Navy.

Spend Timewith Play Time

My grandmother Murdoch was quietly courageous. She talked about graduating from a pharmacology course in an era when men dominated the field. Later she moved far away from family and friends to Halifax to marry my grandfather. When my grandfather was away at sea for months at a time, she cared for their family on her own.

Sometimes events just turn into vivid memories. It was a hot summer afternoon when a routine chore, watering the flowers, turned into an epic water fight! My three children and I were wet, laughing, yelling, and teasing as we raced around the front lawn of our house tossing water at each other. My husband arrived home from work in the middle of it and parked in the driveway, still dressed in his police uniform. When the kids attempted to soak him, he took off like a shot down the driveway and stood safely out of range. We all teased him about being “afraid of water,” declared a cease-fire, and let him pass.

These days I play with my grandsons. We invented a game using spoons to catapult plastic bottle caps into a container. We chat about things they are interested in as we water the garden at their house and mine. The big box from our new dishwasher got recycled into their “boxhouse,” as they call it. It’s decorated with their names and artwork. Logan and Landon grab a sofa cushion and their devices and hang out inside. Leo, the baby, likes to stick his head out the door, window, or ceiling and yell “Hi!”

What do you love to do that makes time fly? Is it a hobby, interest, or sport? Can you encourage someone in your life to join you having fun doing your favorite pastime? What about joining them in theirs? Ask a child about interests and invite them to choose something they would like to do with you. Make play a regular part of family life.

Negotiating what to do/play, learning how, asking questions, actively listening, following instructions and rules, taking turns, encouraging others, and being positive participants while having fun integrates learning and using social skills effortlessly. Practicing the game rules, skills, and techniques acquired through hands-on learning cements the skills and enhances self- confidence.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. I play simple games like Uno, Go Fish, or Memory with my grandsons and my students. Children love when an adult joins in! I get and accept frequent invitations to play. During character education lessons about honesty, entire classes played Cheat—a card game I learned at Girl Guide Camp—with me. The absolute best part is seeing someone that I taught to play a game have fun teaching and playing it with someone else. It puts a smile on my face!

Caring adults nurtured interests of mine while we spent time together: a lasting love of play, the joy found in family and social gatherings, history, reading and writing, gardening, art, enjoying the outdoors, and hot sunny days spent at the beach.

What can you do that inspires a smile and a lasting memory?