So Much to Tell You Anonymous
C/W: mentions of child abuse There is so much I want to tell you But how do I even begin? How would you even take it? How can I say the words I want to say so that you understand? At our best times, I wish that I could hug you and say to you I love you. But in our culture, in our family that’s just not how things are. At our worst times, I want to scream at you and hurt you back by telling you how much you’ve hurt me. Instead I say nothing, go back to my room, rage and cry; that’s the way our culture is so that’s how our family is. When I was depressed, when I felt worthless and tired and defeated and stayed home all day hating
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myself, you called me lazy. You argued with me constantly, you belittled me and only made me feel worse. There was so much I wanted to say; there was so much I wanted you to understand. Why can’t you give me a little bit of sympathy? Why can’t you support me? I know you were raised like that too; I know your parents treated you worse, I know they loved your brother more than you, I know your life is infinitely harder than mine. I know it’s not really your fault you treat me like this and you did the best you could. But even with all that knowledge, it still hurts when you treat me the way you do.
