E N’G I N E W S UNIVERSITY
OF WATERLOO
WEDNESDAY,
8 JANUARY
1964
ENGINEERING ‘BUILDING Once upon a time when we were all young, immature, naive Engineering students, fresh from the hallowed halls of Secondary High School for the Underpriveleged, we found ourselves staring at a mammonth construction site which soon became the Engineering Building. Now we are all fat, balding, mature, sweaty, drunken Engineering students who know no more about our building than we did then. This is the story of how the Engineering Building came to be. Douglas Right lay writhing in his bed sheets. He had had a dream. An Engineering Building where no one could find a damn thing. He jumped from his bed and ran a-Shore to see an architect. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to put on his pants and so he designed the building - himself with his little slide rule to help him. Soon the band of trusty constructioners began ing and when they had finished, they were through.
- BRIDGE Last week, the University of Watxloo bridge team took on a team kom the University of London, Engand. The Waterloo team, through :lever bidding and accurate playing
STAGS mmm
-
of their hands won the tourney handily. The president of the U Bridge Club declared, shortly his victory, that, in his opinion, don bridge is falling down.
quite of W after Lon-
Stags, more formally termed, Technical Sessions, have become as much of a tradition around here as Engineering weekends and mud. These functions have probably been some of the most successful events ever-to hit the place and probably always will be. The first organized school stag was back in 1959 and frankly it was so long ago I don’t remember much about it. Come to think of it I didn’t remember much about it the day after.
J
LIKE A -
poor
hours
-
no pay -
III q
guaranteed ulcers impossible working -
a helluvah
n
q
conditions good
time
come to ZEbe@Lorpptjaeus’ staff meeting tomorrow office (Annex 1). .cp.. . .. .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..~~~~...*.~..~.............................................. . . . . . . . .< . . . . . ./ . . . . ,. . . . L%<s ‘8. ~..~..............~...~.~.~~ -z
(Thursday)
at 500
. ...%v.V. ......A*.+.*.*.-.*.*.*.-.*.*.‘.*.*.*.*.*. ....---............... Paid advertisement
p.m.
in the
newspaper
....I..................... ..%,.Av...~..a. .................................................I. .........,.%V.V.V. I........................................................................a.. ...................a................ d@g$$
The 2nd Annual Technical Session was, I recall, a wild, wild one. During the evening someone (I think it was Prof. Ed. Bounsall) discovered that the coefficient of friction between mashed salami and terazzo was remarkably low. The result - a beeyou-to-ful 50 foot long area to practice skiing. Apparently the landlord didn’t approve and warned if the slide for life didn’t stop he’d phone the local constabulary. Some bright young Engineering student, not to have his fun thwarted, sneaked outside and neatly snipped the telephone wires - so ended Tech. session No. 2. The third, and perhaps the best, was held at the Bridgeport Casino. Due to the popularity of boat races at past affairs, the Class of ‘64 decided to organize the event. So came the inauguration of the official Class of ‘64 boat race trophy. A coveted prize indicative of supremacy in the fine art of beer drinking. The outcome of the race that year, was the Class of 66 won (beating class of ‘64 by 4/10 of a second) by downing ten beers in 3 7.0 seconds. The only casualty of the evening was a fellow fondly called ‘Schmidty’ (the proprietor). When he decided to ban the showing of nature films at his place, he drew from his clients several resounding choruses of “The Landlord is a Jolly Good Fellow” and a few rounds of glass projectiles. Looking back, the stag must have been a success as Schmidty claimed $140.00 for property damages. The most recent stag - Technical Session No. 4, again witnessed the ever popular boat race. The Class of 64 undaunted by the previous years defeat proved beyond doubt that they were indeed the champions of the boat race. Putting away 10 beers in record time of 3 1.4 seconds they easily beat all competition. The en-
“The
building
“Yup,
is finished,”
I think
to start the build-
said one,
she’s finished,”
said another.
“I definitely have to agree with building the Building.”
you,”
said the foreman.
“We’re
’ all through
“Yes sir, we started her and now she’s all built,” probably a Civil Engineer. “Oh,
my God,
“What
hath
what
God
Rot?”
It was the Engineering with
have
they
done?”
said Doctor building!
someone
“We’ll get it his friends began if you know how. they took it apart But they couldn’t Douglas nightmare.
Right
whispered.
Hagey. (Please
Then, everyone left and left the Building perfectly symmetrical features.
Last week, however, Doctor strange. His Rotary pin was missing!
said some clod,
Hagey Horror
no fanfare
necessary.)
as you
see it today,
discovered of horrors!
something
for you,” said one enterprising lad. Then, he and taking the Building apart, a very easy thing to do Piece by piece, (secretary by secretary), bit by bit, until it was in the stage you see it in the picture. find the pin. turned
over
sueing sing song, card parties and crap games brought to close the last Engineering Stag. Incidentally this Wednesday, January 8th, if you should hear a muffled
in his bed.
He was having
another
roar from the direction of the Grand River Golf Club, don’t be concerned. The Engineers Class of ‘64 are having their last stag while at this school and believe me it should be a dandy!
OPPORTUNITIES
FOR
- URIhlAlE
GRADUATES
Allied Chemical Canada, Ltd., an expanding multiplant organization with diversified manufacturing interests in chemicals, building materials and other lines has opportunities for the following: For positions in manufacturing, ,Chemistry Graduates in laboratory and sales. Honours and General Science For positions in manufacturing, Chemical, Civi I and engineering and maintenance, Mechanical Engineers industrial engineering and sales. Allied Chemical Canada, Ltd.., has 14 plants across Canada located at or adjacent to large populatron areas. Company representative will be at the University on Wednesday, January 29th. Please enquire at the Department of Co-ordination and Placement.
ALLIED
CHEMICAL
CANADA,
A TRIBUTE IN VERSE TO THE EVER GRACED THE PAGES PAPER.
GREATEST COLUMNIST OF A WEEKLY UNIVER-
MORROW’S CORF. 103 University
in good
Avenue
university and
l
.*:. 0.0.
W.
billiards variety
P king
ED.
EULOGY How oft have we with tearful1 eye Perused that magic weekly page Whish your flow of genius doth soak Like the sleek canine does the oak / With limb raised high. 0 bard assult, thou unknown muse, Who poureth from parnassus high A. flow sublime men can’t refuse. We do implore you with a sigh Not to release this stream when nigh The winds of opposition blow. For then this fluid divine will soak your robe As it does permeate your mind. What power on earth can stem your tide? We mortals do patiently abide While you from pangs of genius gain relief, By emptying your reservoir sublime. Why do most men so stubbornly avoid, This blessed shower from the holy void, That does between your ears reside, And elsewhere too, where you are wide? This, Master is our pledge sincere, From your golden, flow we shall not vere. But loyal we remain and true, For never would we welsh on you You champion of nationalism, we adore, Though men this bastard off-shoot do deplore May Canadian Nectar boost your flow withal, 0 merry x-mas blessed URINALE.
Mend Smrth Limrt-
I
groceries and meats post office magazines and drugs
EPIGRAM when after many a pint I rise To’ answer the call that men despise, Whiz I must as wizards will And then again I go to kill Many a pint . . . from Magna Cum Lager by Paul Jerome Renison,
LTD.
Subsidiary Companies: The Barrett Company, Limited, Brunner Canada, Ltd., The Nichols Chemical Company, Limrted, The Manufacturing Limited, National Aniline & Chemical Company, ed, Coke Oven Company of Canada, Limited.
I keep my finances
THAT SITY
-
at university
BERGMAN
IEWELLERS LTD. Waterloo, Ontario FINE DIAMONDS
BARROW’S Men’sWear LTD. 34 King St. S., Waterloo 10% student discount
Herb ForesterMen’sWear Quality Clothes 94 King Street South, 10% student
Wat.
discount
George Kadwell Records FOLK
10%
- JAZZ - POPULAR
student discount Waterloo Square SH 4-3712
They said it couldn’t be done. With a smile, he went right to it; he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done and couldn’t do it.
shape with a growing. Savings
Account
To the
at. .
SwanCleanersltd. SHIRT -
BANK OF MONTREAL
Same
&kUUd&yMSd@SU
a b*@ step on the road to: success is an early banking
10%
connection
, University Avenue & Philip Street Office E. G. (Ted)
MORGAN,
O$icer
Day
Service
student
Present
student
Corner
King
-
discount discount
card
& University
BOB WAGNER, B.A. - C.L.U. The Mutual Life of Canada Bus. 7454713 Res. 745-l 330
in ehurge
A CareerI in ‘\ bon Ore! .
LAUNDERERS
Out-Termers
“Not the crook in modern business that we fear but the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing.” OWEN YOUNG Moral - Be crooked and don’t mess things up!
Class IRON ORE COMPANY OF CANADA QUEBEC NORTH SHORE & LABRADOR RAILWAY COMPANY
of ‘64
Engineers
and Associates SEPT-ILES,
P. Q.
l
SCHEFFERVILLE,
P. Q.
l
LABRADOR
Career opportunities
CITY. NFLD.
ATTENTION !
are offered
in
n
i
l
GEOLOGY ENG’INEERING:
Plan
civil-
Electrical-MechanicaIMining-MetaIIurgicalCh&nical For a satisfying career in the Iron Ore Industry, address all inquiries to: PERSONNEL IRON SEPT-ILES,
Engineering
Grand
Faculty
to attend
Class
of ‘64 Dinner-Stag
Wednesday
(Tonight)
River
& Country
Golf
members
Tickets
the
are most
are available Board
now
of Pubs.
COMPANY P.
OF
CANADA,
Q.
ENGINEWS
Published graduating
ENGINEWS
at the
Office.
editor
-
Jim Newman
layout
-
John
Conlin
contributing writeis ? Dave Grafstein,
:2
welcome.
DEPARTMENT, ORE
Our representatives will be pleased to meet with you when they visit your campus on I l January 20
I
Ckb
- Eric Taylor, George Newton.
with money raised by the engineering class of 1964, under no auspices.
Widnesday
8
January
I964