Imprint_2009-04-03_v31_i33 by Editor Imprint

Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, April 3, 2009

vol 31, no 33

Shedding some light

imprint . uwaterloo . ca

Revealing our accessible campus, page 14

St. Jerome’s votes to unionize

22 5

St. Jerome’s University Academic Staff Association responds to crisis of morale Adrienne Raw staff reporter

he St. Jerome’s faculty has voted overwhelmingly in favour of forming a union. In a vote, conducted by the Ontario Labour Relations Board March 31, 22 of the 30 academic staff eligible to vote cast their ballots in favour of the union while five were opposed. “That’s a very strong affirmation of the effort to unionize the faculty,” said David Seljak, president of the St. Jerome’s University Academic Staff Association. The motivation behind this drive for unionization is not, Seljak said, a desire for higher salaries, more benefits, more job security, or other issues of this nature. “Basically,” Seljak said, “the reason for it all is to protect the academic integrity of the institution, to protect the sense of community that used to be the best part of St. Jerome’s.” The faculty’s primary concerns have been changes to policies and procedures made by the administration that the faculty see as unilateral and arbitrary. Faculty and staff see these decisions as a departure from traditional collegial governance and a breakdown of academic integrity.

Dubai digits down A look at the new Dubai campus, which is failing to attract students. page 3

For complete details, see the March 27 Imprint article, “Trouble at St J’s prompts vote.” The response from the board and the administration in light of the results of the unionization vote has been positive, said Seljak. “The board and the administration have both accepted the decision of the faculty and have pledged to work with the union and I’m very happy about that,” said Seljak. “The whole goal of this unionization effort was to work towards a reconciliation with the administration and with the Board.” Dorothee Retterath, chair of the St. Jerome’s University’s Board of Governors, said to Imprint that, “St. Jerome’s University is committed to learning and academic excellence, and is proud of its excellent faculty. We respect the decision of the faculty and are committed to working on a collective agreement with the proposed union.” There remain two small technical steps that need to be taken to complete the certification process. Seljak said these steps are routine and doesn’t expect them to be “major barriers.” The process, he says, should be complete by the end of April. araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Life in the ECHL UW’s Doug Spooner talks balance and commitment as a member of the East Coast Hockey League, page 27

News

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Student shortfall

A mixed bag Ontario’s budget contains pros and cons for the province’s post-secondary students

UAE campus facing uphill battle in recruitment

“T

he biggest challenge is finding students.” This is what Dean of Engineering Adel Sedra said of the Dubai campus, at March’s university senate meeting. Though the faculty’s goal was to have 120 students start in September 2009, both Sedra and Registrar Ken Lavigne admitted during senate that the university will fall short of that goal. There are two routes to becoming a UW student in Dubai. First, university-bound students in the region are able to apply to UW’s Dubai campus directly. To date, there are only about ten

“

of those 117 will meet UW’s academic standard. The best will be offered spots at UW, and the remaining qualified students from the Gulf region will be offered places at Dubai. At the senate meeting, one faculty member voiced a concern about Waterloo opening a satellite campus in the region while other campuses operated by other universities were facing problems or being closed. For instance, early in March George Mason University announced the closure of their own UAE satellite campus. While cost was a primary factor in the closure, according to an article in the Washington Square News the satellite campus “was also plagued by low student

There are two routes to becoming a UW student in Dubai. First, university-bound students in the region are able to apply to UW’s Dubai campus directly. The second route to Dubai is tied to UW’s own application process.

such applications. The second route to Dubai is tied to UW’s own application process. There is a limit to the number of international students who can come to Waterloo campus proper — only eight per cent of engineering students can be international. This translates to about 100 for the faculty, or and about 10 for the chemical engineering and civil engineering programs. There were 117 students from the Gulf region who applied to those programs on the main campus. Only some

“

Michael L. Davenport incoming editor - in - chief

enrolments; this year, Mason hoped to have more than 400 students enrolled at the campus, but only 180 were enrolled before the site folded.” Other concerns were also raised: why would students come to Canada, when they are able to finish their degree at HCT, UW’s partner institution? Why would students want to attend Dubai in the first place, rather than coming here directly? To answer the first question, Sedra believes the presteige of a UW degree is enough to entice students to

make the trip to Canada. Sedra told Imprint, “There’s no question in my mind about that. … if the students wanted HCT, they can apply directly to HCT. We look at HCT as a fallback situation.” (Students who finish their engineering degree at HCT won’t get a UW degree. The option to finish the degree is meant to accommodate students who have trouble raising the money to come to Canada or can’t get a VISA.) As for the second question, Sedra told the UW Senate that he believes the UW satellite campus will be attractive to families who don’t yet want their children to study abroad. He reiterated this point to Imprint, saying, “From talking to a good number of students and their parents, this seemed to be an important issue.” He “The other of course incentive is we don’t have room at the University of Waterloo to take all the [qualified students]” Despite the low numbers now, Sedra is confident the campus will be successful in the long run. “Frankly, we started very late in getting the word around, that we’re offering this program. So, I’m hoping now things will pick up. I don’t know about George Mason, but Texas A&M which is a good engineering school in Qatar which is a different emirate, different situation somewhat, but they also had problems attracting sufficient numbers of students in the first couple of years, and then things picked up.” “We’ll have to wait and see, but we have to work hard in marketing the campus there, not just inside Dubai, not just inside the United Arab Emirates, but in fact in the whole Gulf area. And we haven’t done any of that yet.” editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Ryan Webb assistant news editor

he 2009 – 2010 Ontario provincial budget released last week is receiving mixed reviews from stakeholders affiliated with the province’s universities. University administrators, represented by the Council of Ontario Universities (COU), are praising the budget, while the Canadian Federation of Students – Ontario (CFS) says that it is lacking. Ontario’s Minister of Finance and Revenue, Dwight Duncan released the Liberal government’s budget Thursday, March 26. Universities were allotted a hefty $780 million to match federal government funds to be pooled for post-secondary infrastructure investments, including refurbishment of old buildings and construction of new ones. The government also announced $150 million for “immediate, one time support” for universities, in light of the financial pressures they face in the current economy. UW’s administration estimates that its portion of the provincial support funds will be $6 million. The support fund comes as the majority of post-secondary institutions in the province face a massive decline in their incoming endowment donations and in the value of their investment portfolios. UW has been one of the best off institutions in Canada during the current financial downturn, but is expected to make cuts in its operating budget for the next two fiscal years. The president of COU, Dr. Paul C. Genest, was understandably positive. “These investments in new construction and campus renewal will provide our students and faculty with many of the modern facilities needed for a high-quality learning experience and cutting-edge research,” he said. “These investments will enable Ontario researchers to develop cut-

ting-edge research projects that will advance the boundaries of knowledge and contribute to the development of innovative ideas to enhance Ontario’s economy and competitiveness,” In the short term, the most noticeable benefit for UW students will be the province’s increased support for employers of co-op students. The government announced that it will be increasing the tax credit that it awards such businesses from $1000 per student, per term to $3000. According to UW’s Daily Bulletin, as the province’s largest co-operative education program, the increased subsidy is a “special blessing” for UW and a “big help” in the “struggle to find jobs for students in hard times.” The subsidy is likely to attract frugal employers to student employees despite the poor job market that prevails. While conceding that there were some benefits for students seeking jobs, CFS-Ontario chairperson Shelley Melanson insisted that the provincial budget did not do enough to address the primary concern for most students: soaring tuitions costs over the last several years and the resulting debt burden on those who require loans to pay for the ordeal. “Unfortunately, what was missing from that budget was a meaningful way to deal with access to post-secondary education and skyrocketing student debt. There were no new initiatives put in place to help students who are struggling to pay their tuition fees and taking on significant loans to do so,” Melanson said. UW President David Johnston and provost Amit Chakma will be hosting faculty and staff in another ‘town hall’ meeting next week to give an update on the university’s financial health. Based on comments made in the senate, they are expected to announce a three per cent cut in expenditures for 2009-2010 and make way for a further five per cent cut for the 2010-2011 fiscal period. news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Michael L. Davenport incoming editor-in-chief

RECENT HAPPENINGS Feds AGM

The Federation of Students held an annual general meeting on Friday, March 27. Sam Andrey, Brittney Boilard, Matt Colphon, Christine Thayer and Matt Waller were elected to the board of directors. In addition, students ultimately voted in favour of raising the Feds fee by a dollar plus the consumer price index for 2008, a net change of $35.43 to $37.24. The meeting also formally made the Feds VP admin and finance the overseer of the dental plan and bus pass. The AGM also introduced the “First Year Working Group” as an official commission of Student’s

council. The purpose of the group is to act as a two way link between Feds and first year students, and to “organize events aimed at first year students.” Said Feds President Justin Williams, “The motion to institute the First Year Working Group as a commission did two things: gave it longevity and gave it a base to work from. The group was created this year and I see a lot of potential for it to grow a great deal.”

to formally recognize FASS as a “UW student organization and part of the fabric of the University of Waterloo.” Also, the election committee report will be presented to council. A draft version of the agenda can be seen at http://lists.feds.ca/pipermail/council/2009-March/000862. html

UPCOMING EVENTS

UW’s response to the economic crises will the the focus of a town hall on Wednesday, April 8, at Hagey Hall at 3.00 p.m. UW President David Johnston and Vice President Academic and Provost Amit Chakma will be speaking.

Feds council meeting this weekend

The Federation of Students will be having their monthly council meeting this Sunday, April 5 at 12:30 p.m. Items of note are a motion

Johnston to host town hall for faculty and staff

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

News Mt. Royal in flag flap Ryan Webb assistant news editor

E Aboyeji staff reporter

Student Association of Mount Royal College questions whether the Canadian flag ‘excludes and intimidates certain student

The Students Association of Mount Royal College (SAMRC) has decided to once again display the Canadian flag from its student services building. The move came Wednesday, March 31, after it faced widespread criticism for insisting it perform a survey of its student

ally by the CBC. “I don’t see why this discussion even exists. It’s just ludicrous,” Dylan Clarkson, a Canadian Forces reservist and journalism student at Mount Royal interviewed by the national broadcaster, whom said. “When I’ve gone around talking to students, particularly other reservists, students that I know, they all want the flag back up there. So I’m wondering where this dissenting voice is coming from that they feel is so powerful they can’t put the flag back up.” Members of SAMRC suggested that the CBC was making much ado about nothing. “It sounds like a disgruntled student is trying to

“People may not realize that overt displays of patriotism can also be seen as exclusionary and even sometimes work to undermine democratic ideals” — Anonymous Mount Royal Student body before it hoisted the national flag. The association had apparently feared displaying the flag could be considered “exclusionary.” The oversized maple leaf was removed from the ceiling of the SAMRC-operated Wyckham House after the association received an unsigned complaint from one student who said the flag made him feel excluded. “People may not realize that overt displays of patriotism can also be seen as exclusionary and even sometimes work to undermine democratic ideals,” the note said. The complaint referenced a report in MIT Tech Talk that reported on a Burmese student who felt “excluded and intimidated” by displays of patriotism following the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on that country. Elizabeth McKeown, SAMRC’s vice-president of student life said, “We want to be as fully representative of all of our students as possible, so what we want to do is go out there and make sure that this is something the students want to see.” The Calgary-based college made its decision to forego the questionnaire and hoist the flag after two days of critical reports aired nation-

create a controversy where none actually exists. A student survey was only one possible option to receive feedback about what space might be more appropriate for a flag,” Matt Koczkur, SAMRC’s VP for external affairs, said in a statement. Koczkur insisted that a questionnaire would still be conducted to determine where the flag in question should hang in the long term. — With files from CBC and the Calgary Herald UofT faces $1.3 billion shortfall in its investment portfolio

The University of Toronto’s finances are now being burned by an investment strategy that had enabled it to be the largest endowment fund in Canada only a year ago. According to The Globe and Mail, University of Toronto Asset Management (UTAM), the university of Toronto’s independent financial arm charged with managing the school’s finances, lost 29.5per cent of the university’s pension and endowment investments last year. This translates to a $1.3 billion loss

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

on these investments. According to Bill Moriarty, President of University of Toronto Asset Management Team, the losses had resulted from an investment strategy that exposed the fund to equity markets and hedge fund investments. As a consequence of these huge losses, the school has cut payouts from endowments for the coming year. The University of Toronto’s losses greatly exceed the benchmark decline for large Canadian pension funds, which is 18 per cent. This has caused increasing speculation that the University of Toronto might have taken on much more risk that it could handle. According to the university’s Provost, Dr. Cheryl Misak, the losses are the flipsides of the sizable investment gains the school has enjoyed over the years. She went on to say that that the losses will require that tough decisions be taken across the board this year. In the short term the university will struggle to sustain student aid by dipping into reserve accounts but will likely hand out fewer meritbased scholarships this year. Faculty association President, George Luste, remains critical of the University’s investment strategy. He insists that many in the university community do not appreciate the huge risks that have been associated with the investments of the pension and endowment funds. However all is not lost. Mr Moriaty, has worked to lower the currency hedging policy that amounted for up to 12per cent of last year’s losses. He is also working to lower hedge funds investment. The University of Toronto is not alone in its quagmire. The country’s second and third largest universities, University of British Columbia and McGill University in Montreal respectively, have each also announced investment fund declines of about 20per cent. — With files from the Globe and Mail and United Press International

Police seek man in c onne c t i on w i t h sexual assault

Waterloo Regional Police Service

A composite image released by Waterloo Regional Police Service’s Major Case Unit depicts an unidentified male wanted in connection with a sexual assault that took place Friday, March 6 on Hickory Street in Waterloo. Dinh Nguyen

assistant editor-in-chief

ccording to a press release from the Waterloo Regional Police Service a 21 year-old woman was walking towards a residence on Hickory Street. and was approached by a man standing on the driveway on March 6, at approximately 1:50 a.m. The assailant spoke briefly and then proceeded to touch the Waterloo woman inappropriately and assault her. The victim did not require medical attention following the incident. Waterloo Region police searched the area but were unsuccessful in locating the alleged perpetrator. The suspect is described as a white 30-to-40 year-old male with a blond crew cut hairstyle. He had a beard and moustache, and was wearing a black jacket and black pants. Anyone with information about the incident is encouraged to contact the Waterloo Regional Police Major Case Branch at 519-650-8500 ext. 8671 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477).

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca eaboyeji@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

dnguyen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Death, Ransom, War and Mars Voyage this week

Katrina Massey reporter

Up to 300 dead after migrant vessel capsizes off Libya

TRIPOLI, Libya Between 200 and 300 illegallyemigrating African citizens are estimated to have been killed when stormy weather caused their boat to capsize on Friday, March 27. The boat was destined for Italy, and sank roughly 50 kilometers off the coast of Libya. Libyan officials rescued 23 people from the water and confirmed 21 fatalaties. Of the 23 survivors, 17 were hospitalized due to a lack of food and drinking water during the ordeal. Because of the length of time that has passed since the incident occured, none of those still missing are expected to be found alive. Reports indicate that the boat had a capacity of 50 people, but was filled with roughly five times that at the time of the disaster. The boat was constructed of wood and designed for fishing, both of which contributed to the problem. The missing migrants are said to be Egyptian, Tunisian, and Palestinian nationals. Libya is a common departure point for immigrants looking to escape their countries by ship. In 2008, over 31,000 emigrants crossed from North Africa to Italy, according to the International Organization for Migration (IOM). Hundreds of migrants have died in recent months during crossings over the Mediterranean Sea and the Gulf of Aden. Deaths are caused by stormy weather, high winds, a deficiency of lifeboats, overcrowding,

and poorly maintained vessels. Another boat filled with 350 people was recently rescued from the same stretch of sea. That rescue “was quick because they were near an oil platform that notified the Libyan coast guards, who quickly rescued the migrants,” said Laurence Hart, a member of the IOM. Two other missing boats that recently set out are also being searched for at this time. — With files from BBC, Reuters, and the Globe and Mail UK bringing troops home from Iraq

BASRA, Iraq The British forces began their official withdrawal from Iraq on Tuesday, March 31. The United Kingdom’s south commander, Major General Andy Salmon, handed over the authority to United States Major General Michael Oates during a ceremony that celebrated Britain’s controversial presence during the war. “I am grateful not only for the outstanding accomplishments of the brave troopers of the U.K., but for the courage and selfless dedication of all the U.K. forces who served in Iraq, and for the unwavering commitment of the British people in the cause of liberty around the world,” U.S. General Ray Odierno stated. By May 31, the majority of Britain’s 4,000 combat troops will be gone. Only 400 will stay behind for the purposes of providing training to the Iraqi navy. “We trust the Iraqi security forces. We can see the economic investment start to take hold. We just

had a safe and secure free fair and open set elections, which have now been ratified and we now look to the future with considerable amounts of optimism,” Salmon said. The United States’ role in southern Iraq will try to remain close to, if not the same as that of the U.K.. They intend to focus on training Iraqi police and keeping supply routes between the south and Baghdad open. The ultimate goal is to have Iraqi forces become the most visible presence on the streets, instead of the U.S. Army. — With files from BBC and Daily Express Europeans begin simulation of Mars voyage

MOSCOW, Russia Six volunteers from France, Russia, and Germany became the official subjects of an experiment on Tuesday, March 31, as they were locked into a capsule designed to simulate the conditions of a manned flight to Mars. The experiment tests whether humans could theoretically travel to Mars and back and assesses the effects that long periods of space flight would have on astronauts. The actual round trip to Mars would take two years, but this preliminary experiment is designed to last 105 days. The volunteers will be exposed to elements that astronauts would typically face while on a journey to the planet, including feelings of isolation, claustrophobia, and homesickness, as well as a 20-minute delay in vocal communications to those “back on Earth.” “The challenge is to live with the same people for a long period

but it is a positive challenge. I think we are going to learn a lot about each other,” said volunteer Oliver Knickel, a 28-year-old German engineer. “The experiment won’t be fun, but it is an honour,” added Sergei Ryazansky, the Russian commander of the simulation space craft. Volunteers are allowed to bring personal effects such as books and laptops but will otherwise be isolated from the outside world for the full length of time. The volunteers who endure the capsule for more than 100 days will be rewarded with US$20,000. They are permitted to leave if they choose, but will be encouraged to stay for the full length of time. The experiment is part of a joint project between the Institute for Medical-Biological Problems of the Russian Academy of Sciences and the European Space Agency. Russia is planning a second test for later this year that will last the full 520 estimated days of a round trip to Mars. — With files from AFP and BBC Ransom deadline for kidnapped Canadian extended

PESHAWAR, Pakistan Islamic militants who have been holding 53-year-old Canadian woman Beverly Giesbrecht hostage have extended their previous ransom deadline from Tuesday, March 31 to Sunday, April 5. It is suspected that they are holding Giesbrecht somewhere between the Afghani and Pakistani border. The militants emphasize that no further extension will be given.

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[In Libya] Hundreds of migrants have died in recent months during crossings over the Mediterranean Sea and the Gulf of Aden. Deaths are caused by stormy weather, high winds, a deficiency of lifeboats, overcrowding, and poorly maintained vessels.

Giesbrecht, who adopted the name Khadija Abdul Qahaar as a convert to Islam, is best known for her pro-Islamic and anti-American website entitled Jihad Unspun. She went to Pakistan last summer to work as a freelance journalist but was kidnapped in the Bannu region of the country in November. A video was released last month that depicted Giesbrecht imploring that her ransom of US$ 350,000 be met as soon as possible. She then stated a fear of being beheaded. The local Pakistani government offered a smaller ransom but it was rejected. The Canadian embassy in Pakistan is working with Pakistan’s government to secure the release of Giesbrecht. “We are in contact with all the concerned Pakistani authorities, and it is the prime responsibility of the host country to protect the lives and properties of guests,” a Canadian embassy official stated who asked not to be identified. — With files from The Globe and Mail and The Toronto Star

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Opinion

End of an era

Friday, April 3, 2009 Vol. 31, No. 33 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Michael L. Davenport editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Outgoing EIC, Maggie Clark mclark@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Ad Assistant, vacant Sales Assisstant, vacant Systems Admin. Dan Agar Distribution, Garrett Saunders Distribution, Sherif Soliman Interns, Julia Gelfand, Brandon Rampelt Volunteer co-ordinator, Dinh Nguyen Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Sherif Soliman president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Vacant vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Lu Jiang treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Vanessa Pinelli secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Peter Trinh liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Dinh Nguyen Head Reporter, Vacant Lead Proofreader, Alicia Boers Cover Editor, Veronika Zaretsky News Editor, Vacant News Assistant, Ryan Webb Opinion Editor, Adrienne Raw Opinion Assistant, Christine Nanteza Features Editor, Vacant Features Assistant, Mark Zammit Arts & Entertainment Editor, Tina Ironstone Arts & Entertainment Assistant, Vacant Science & Tech Editor, Rajul Saleh Science & Tech Assistant, Vacant Sports & Living Editor, Caitlin McIntyre Sports & Living Assistant, Vacant Photo Editor, Amy LeBlanc Photo Assistant, Shannon Purves Graphics Editor, Armel Chesnais Graphics Assistant, Paul Collier Web Administrator, Arianna Villa Systems Administrator, Mohammad Jangda Production Staff Bogdan Petrescu, Paul Collier, Ted Fleming, Andrew Dodds, Katrina Massey, Steven R. McEvoy, Mo, Kaitlin Huckabone, Allison Rittenhouse, Jaana Mielonen, Meghan Dawe Graphics Team Peter Trinh Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next staff meeting: Monday, May 4 12:30 p.m. Next board of directors meeting: TBA

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

s of the publication of this issue, my reign of tyranny as Imprint’s editor-in-chief comes to a close. At 18 months, I’ve had a longer run than most, and while I came into this position bursting with plans for improvement, I leave the role relieved that the newspaper has constant transition so entrenched in its policies. The fact is, there is a limit to how much one person can do in this position before they get worn out, grow stagnant, or simply lose touch with the student population at large; and the last thing I want to see is any newspaper — student or otherwise — fall into the rut of complacency, let alone while I’m at the helm. To that end, I’ve come to see transition as a strength, not a weakness: a concept I feel we should push fellow students to learn as soon as possible, because we operate in an institution that knows full well how temporary student issues can be. After all, a student population one term might protest the UAE campus, or a new program like PDEng, or modifications to administration policy that curtail, rather than expand, student opportunities. But the next? Well, for one, a great many of those students will be on co-op, leaving a less informed population around to

mclark@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

follow up on the issues that matter. For another, with time and the rigours of academia, students are more likely to pick school work over the long-term pursuit of battles they don’t think they can impact, let alone win. This is because the university as a whole exists outside four-to-six-year undergraduate cycles: co-op has to build business relationships that extend beyond the range of any one UW student, or even the entire co-op stream that term. Similarly, UW’s board of governors operates on ten-year plans for campus developments — architectural, academic, culture or community-based. And, as a general rule, proposals to effect any real change in society require a sustained commitment (often spanning many years) from all interested parties to become fully realized. All this — as I have noted time and again in many different articles during my time with this publication — does not make student engagement easy, though it does provide a great many opportunities for student burn-out and disillusionment instead. As solutions go, I’ve found only one that proves at all productive: embracing the transient nature of university life as a strength, not a weakness, and then playing to that strength. To do this, a

great deal of personal pride needs to be sloughed off in favour of fully supporting others in our community. Yes, a great many people want to make a lasting difference in their communities. A lot fewer are willing to share the credit for those changes. But in the pursuit of more long-lasting goals, we need to do just that: after all, the person who sets a new project in motion may very well not be the person who sees it to the end, or who reaps its rewards. So be it, if the alternative is not improving our community in meaningful ways at all. What we should be aspiring to instead is stewardship of our respective causes. If, at the end of our time at UW, we can say we effectively maintained at least one project of great personal or community relevance — or else created one to fill a void — and if we left that project in as good or better shape than we first found it, then we’ve done our part. We’ve done more than that, actually: in learning to find strength in our transience here — applying ourselves less to the pursuit of fame first, impact second, and more to the creation of good and lasting things on this campus — we gain an outlook just as easily applied to the whole of our lives.

After all, in the grand scheme of things, our lives are no less temporary than our time is as undergrads. The system we have to struggle with in this case isn’t any one university administration, but a planet overloaded with humans and the histories of conflict they share. And the hard reality is that many of those conflicts will not be resolved before we die, and no one human being can change this — but any one human being can nonetheless change something. It was with this hope that I first pursued the position of Imprint’s EIC and sought to make a difference in my community. It is with this hope, too, that I leave it, striking out to tackle other projects I hope I can build, support, and pass on to those who follow after. To all of you pursuing your own ambitions, personal projects, and causes (and there are so many of you; this campus is richer than monetary investments could ever account for), I wish you the very best. To all who are still feeling out just what it is you want to apply your talents to, I wish you the same. May your lives be full of wonder. May you share that same wonder with everyone around you, wherever you may go.

Up and out

aggie Clark has been a fantastic editor-in-chief. Now she is leaving — now she must leave. A website I frequent posted an essay titled Up or Out: Solving the IT Turnover Crisis, by Alex Papadimoulis. The crux of the article was that skilled employees should always move forward into new jobs. This is necessary not only for the individual’s personal development, but the health of the organization. There comes a point in a worker’s tenure where you’ve learned all you’re going to learn doing one job, and the employing organization has reaped the benefits of your varied background as much as it ever will. New ideas have either become corporate culture, or been discarded. Wrote Papadimoulis, “If that employee continues to work in the same job, his value will start to decline. What was once ‘fresh new ideas that we can’t implement today’ become ‘the same old boring suggestions that we’re never going to do.’” While the essay was about businesses rather than student organizations, the same philosophy — that of moving up or out — is doubly important for any organization on campus. The concept of making talented individuals rather than trying to retain talent dovetails nicely with the purpose of any university: education. The cultural difference of “up or out” is something I feel separates Imprint the most from an otherwise similar campus organization: CKMS, the former student radio station. When a referendum put CKMS student fees on the line a year ago,

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

I couldn’t help but be struck by the similarities and differences between the two organizations. Both were corporations distinct from the University of Waterloo and the Federation of Students, with their own distinct board of directors and governance structure. Both had editorial independence. Both were supported by a student fee. And both were ostensibly student-run organizations, where any student who had paid their fee (technically, any student who had not obtained a refund) was entitled to attend the annual general meeting and vote. But one striking difference between the ill-fated CKMS radio station and Imprint is that we embody the culture of up and out: our volunteers are exclusively current or recent UW students. Writers, photographers, editors, and the entire board of directors are students. Perhaps due to their finite time here, I find that volunteers tend to change roles often, accumulating a variety of experiences which they can bring forward with them. However, at CKMS some positions were continuously filled by the same community members. There was no looming graduation to spur these people on, and those roles were never vacated for new volunteers. The same is true for the person in the driver’s seat of the organization. At the time of the referendum, the CKMS station manager had been in her job for seven years. Imprint has a different editor-in-chief roughly every year. And every year, the newspaper reaps the benefit of a different outlook, a different skillset, a different background, and new ideas.

I’m not trying to bash CKMS — the differences I mention are partially intentional in declaring themselves to be a campus and community radio station. The “and community” part was stipulated by the CRTC. But at the same time, the lack of “up and out” had two related effects: first, the radio station had fewer places to act as a training environment for students, and second, having current or recent students in merely the balance (instead of the vast majority) of leadership roles put the radio station at greater risk of irrelevance. The reason I mention CKMS at all is that a referendum for Sound FM is looming — we may have a student-funded radio station yet again. If we do, I believe it’s in their best interest to promote student involvement as much as possible by promoting a culture of “up or out.” I don’t want to leave you with the impression that a core of dedicated, long-standing volunteers is inherently detrimental to an organization. Much like CKMS, the FASS production company (full disclosure: I’ve volunteered there) has a mixture of current students and long-standing alumni volunteers, much like CKMS. The difference lies in the shuffling: FASS has a different producer, director, tech director, chief script writer, and board of directors every year. There are “FASSies” who have been with the company for over a decade, but they’ve done something different every year — from producer to director to writer to president. When they vie for the various roles, even the long-standing FASS volunteers have to compete with students for the leadership positions — there’s no entrenchment. Fresh points of view

get brought into every job each year which benefits the organization as a whole, and the individuals get a wider variety of experience to carry forward with them. Up or out. In fact, the university administration believes in this mentality so much that they have imposed term limits. Our Vice President Academic and Provost, Amit Chakma, is leaving because he’s hit his term limit. President David Johnston, barring “exceptional circumstances” will leave UW in 2011. While graduation has enforced a policy of fresh leadership for our student clubs and societies every year, UW has done well to emulate it. Chakma will move upward to be the president of another university, carrying his UW experiences with him to Western. Simultaneously, we will get a new VP Academic and Provost, with new ideas and a new point of view. Everybody wins. When Maggie Clark first arrived at this paper as a volunteer, we already had a great editor-in-chief (EIC). But if said EIC Tim Alamenciak stayed at Imprint forever, he would have denied Maggie the opportunity to become a great editor-in-chief. And become great she did — but now she has to leave, and give me my shot to be great. In a year’s time, I too must leave, carrying my six years of Imprint experience forward and vacating my role to make room for a fresh pair of eyes. That’s the out, a year from now. But at the moment, I am up. I want the newspaper to benefit from having me. I want to use my accumulated experience to induce positive change in the organization. This should be the goal of every leader: up, leave a mark, and out.

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Jealousy: nastier than a cold sore nbest@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ealousy is like herpes: many people have it, yet no one likes to admit it. Well, the catâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s out of the bag now. No, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have herpes, but I am guilty of being jealous. What greater compliment could I give my partner, than letting him know that I want him all to myself, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to share? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how it seems to me at least, when in reality I know that jealousy does far more damage than most things in a relationship. In last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s column I mentioned several reasons to suspect that your partner is being pursued. In retrospect, I think that checklist will do more damage than it will help people. If any girls that read that list are like me, they are going to jump to conclusions. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m surprised I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already had boyfriends in UW chase me out of town with pitchforks. The message I was trying to relay was real, and that women do try to steal your boyfriend or vice versa. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want girls (or guys) to be naĂŻve and blind when it comes to these matters, so you better believe that I will offer any help that I can. However, I also donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want people to start seeing things that arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there, and getting suspicious of nothing. I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go into detail about why jealousy is negative. Instead, I want to talk about why we get jealous, when it goes too far, and how you can resolve it. We all become jealous because of some sort of insecurity, whether it is from our past or present relationships. For me it came from being cheated on by people I truly trusted. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to believe another person when they say that I can trust them after I have already been dooped by those same words twice over. The fact that the guy I may be currently dating is a new person doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t eliminate the jealous passenger previously instilled in my mind by those in my past. The only way I can shake it (the only way any of us can) is to start with no expectations and build up trust,

rather than giving it away endlessly from the start. That, in of itself causes more problems than you can imagine. Knowing whether trust is given freely or must be earned will save you and your partner some major problems. Sometimes a little jealousy can be good. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true. Even better, imagine being at a party with friends and talking to some people you just met, when in walks your boyfriend. He doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t say anything to you but walks up, puts his arm around you, kisses you â&#x20AC;&#x153;helloâ&#x20AC;? before he walks off. He is showing his possession of you, but then leaves you to your own business. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s healthy, and many of us enjoy that kind of jealousy. Being too naĂŻve and trusting is sometimes a turn-off for some people. However, there is also jealousy that ruins us. It can go too far, and destroy healthy relationships. Sometimes it carries you away, and before you know it, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve become a jealous monster.

How do you know your jealousy has gone too far?

You have snooped through chat history, cell phones, and emails without your partnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s knowledge and think you are entitled.

You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t allow you partner to partake in routine things like school trips, birthday celebrations, or anything for that matter. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really â&#x20AC;&#x153;stopâ&#x20AC;? your partner from doing anything, you just advise against things. In the rare instance where they are allowed to go do something, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because you are there babysitting them.

You guilt them into staying with you or siding with you over anything. You play the

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victim card, even though you really know deep down that you are wrong.

4 5

You are mean to anyone that comes into contact with your partner because they might be a threat. Besides, you never liked their friends anyway. The once cheerful, excitable person you were is now long gone. What is left is someone who only finds the negatives and has no problem blaming their partner for things.

You have the guts to accuse people who are obviously not interested (maybe because of their sexual preference) of wanting your partner.

It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem like anyone would admit these things to themselves. No one ever realizes how bad their own jealousy is until someone else points it out to them. If you think you or your partner sounds like any of the above, you need to figure out if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s serious enough to take action. In many cases, jealousy is the root cause of emotional, mental, and physical abuse in young relationships. If you feel you need to talk to your

partner about this issue, then try to use unoffensive language where they might be able to give you insight on their actions. Coming right out with â&#x20AC;&#x153;youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re always jealousâ&#x20AC;? is a bad move. Your partner is probably jealous because they are afraid of losing you or rejection and have insecurities. Be soft, understanding, and stand up for yourself when you try and sort it out. When your partner is jealous, it means they want to keep you in their life so pushing them away will only make things worse. Whether it is your partner or yourself who has the problem, admitting oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own jealousy is the first step to working out the inner demons. Know-

I think I trust you christine nanteza

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Community Editorial 10 things I’ve learned during my first year respondent

s my first year comes to a close, I think a little introspection is in order. I’ve learned a lot this year and these are just ten things that stood out among all the other lessons learned. 1. People still skip class, even though it now costs money for them.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand this one. I never skipped class in high school, partially because I hadn’t turned 18 yet so I couldn’t sign myself out without a call to my parents, but mostly because I had goals I wanted to achieve that involved higher education. I scoffed at my friends who skipped and never in a million years thought that intentionally missing class would continue in university. I don’t know why, but I had a very narrow-minded idea of what university was going to be like, especially here at Waterloo. With its reputation and all, I thought everyone was going to be geniuses, who went to class, studied hard, and had little to no social interaction whatsoever. Although some would say that this is true, I’ve seen evidence to the contrary — starting with skipping classes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m talking about a very slim percentage of the undergraduate population here. And I’m not griping about those of you who skipped once because it was a nice day out or you just didn’t feel like going to class. I’m talking about those of you (and you know who you are) who, on a regular basis, chose not to attend the lectures you paid for at the beginning of term. Tuition costs loads of money for everyone; Environment, AHS, Arts, and Science frosh paid about $5,700 in tuition fees alone this year over two academic terms. Engineers paid almost double that, and that doesn’t even cover the residence costs. So why, I ask, are you wasting your money by not going to class? I understand that in some situations, students feel as if they don’t go to class because the prof can’t teach, or they already know the material, or other reasons. But that really doesn’t excuse the fact

that you paid thousands of dollars to attend this university. Right now, I have an absolutely terrible chemistry prof, but I still go to class because I didn’t pay $5,700 to fuck off and do nothing. I paid it to get an education, and if that means suffering through 50 minutes of barely discernable CHEM 123, then so be it. 2. Apathy is the name of the game.

The sense of apathy on this campus kills me. During the recent Federation of Students election where UW students were asked to vote on a new executive, only 15 per cent of currently enrolled undergraduate students voted. Low percentage, right? Well it’s six per cent higher than last year’s vote, where only nine per cent of undergrads voted. I really do not understand the indifference around campus. I wasn’t one of those over achievers in high school on yearbook, prom committee, or student council, but I understand the importance of getting involved. So when it came time for the Feds election, I geared up and prepared myself to make the most informed decision I could because the people I was going to vote for would be my voice on campus for the next year. I even organized an information booth in the Village One cafeteria for three nights where people could come and ask questions to get more informed about the positions up for election and information on how to vote. I, in retrospect, naïvely thought that others would share my enthusiasm for on-campus democracy, and want information about how Feds represents them on campus and how they should prepare themselves to make an educated decision. What I got instead was a few people engaged enough to care, a handful of people too busy to even notice, and the majority of people to wrapped up in their own lives to really care about the federation that controls their bus pass, dental plan, and health care plan on campus. I don’t think Feds was asking for much. Imprint had awesome campaign coverage, most of the presidential candidates had websites/Facebook pages, and posters littered this campus for days. All it would have taken is a

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little bit of effort to become informed, but 85 per cent of the undergrad population saw otherwise. 3. Engineering Entitlement

We get it: Waterloo is known for engineering. Science is not your bastard child, and no, Environment students are not hippies — well, some of them are. I have a lot of friends in engineering in first and third year — hell, my sister’s a third year civil — but I’m starting to get annoyed by this “Holier-thanthou” thing that some engineers have going on. I understand that Waterloo is internationally recognized for its exemplary engineering programs, but it’s still a great school for all faculties. We’re number one overall, remember? 4. It’s all just one big balancing act.

I came here with an intense desire to exceed academically and focused on nothing else. I was so driven by this need to be great that I began to resent this school. I didn’t like being here, and the stress of studying as hard as I was began to get to me. I did poorly on the first batch of midterms I had and that’s when I took a step back to re-evaluate my approach to school. Obviously the nose-to-the-grindstone-work-workwork-study-study-study approach wasn’t working for me, so I needed to find something else that did in order to not become a Christmas graduate. So I started to relax; I enrolled in a dance class, got involved with a club, and became more social. Funny enough, after I started doing these things, my marks improved dramatically. So I guess the biggest thing I have taken from first year is that a balance between school and fun is necessary in order to do my best. 5. High school ain’t ever over.

I learned this one the hard way. For me, the most exciting part of university was going to be starting over and making new friends. I was so thrilled at the prospect of having no history or back story with these people and just being able to be who ever I wanted. I thought, “Why, this is university. Everyone’s going to be mature and grown up and I’m not going to have to deal with the lame ass drama anymore, right?” God, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

“

Procrastination is almost a prerequisite for university.

It’s a sad truth, but the whole “hesaid-she-said-stab-you-in-the-back” mentality that I was so excited to leave behind in high school translated almost fully here. The same games were played; it just took a little longer for the rules to develop. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some truly wonderful people of both sexes during my first year, but the all too prevalent stereotypes from high school of girls who feed off of gossip and humiliation and the boys who make it a game of seeing how many girls’ numbers they can take home at the end of the night are still common. Although these petty games are still around, it’s easier to avoid them here on a big campus than it was back in high school. 6. There really is something here for everyone.

Case in Point: Cheese Club. ‘Nuff said. 7. There is no higher authority than the Canadian Geese on campus.

You know its true. Before coming here, I only ever thought infestations occurred with rats, cockroaches, and other household pests. Lo and behold, every spring/late fall, the Waterloo Campus is raided by these wonderfully Canadian birds that turn walking to class into walking through a minefield. They are also fantastically domesticated; they don’t shy away like other birds of the wild and will come so close as centimetres without shying away. In fact, they’re actually rather angry; they hiss like it’s their job. 8. You were the best student in your high school? Well, join the club.

This wasn’t so much learned as proven. Just by talking to people during O-Week it was evident that most of the best and the brightest Canada had to offer chose UW for their place of higher education. Everyone just had that air — that “I’m the smartest, funniest, coolest kid my high school had to offer” bubble that seemed to almost resoundingly pop once they realized everyone else is ex-

“

Kristen Leal

actly the same. Their best isn’t the best anymore. Now, it’s just expected. That being said, it turns this campus into a incredible hub of intellectual talent — one that I believe is unparalleled in Canada thus far. It’s not too farfetched to imagine actual undergrads arguing about Taylor expansion or mitotic cell division; you know you’ve overheard these conversations, and maybe, just maybe, have actually partaken in one.

9. Exam periods are both a blessing and a curse.

For this point, it really comes down to what faculty you’re in and how devastating the registrar’s office decides to be to you. I’m in 1B Earth Science, and this term, I start writing exams on April 13. Yeah, you heard me. An entire 11 days after classes finish. 11 days to study for my first finals. This is the whole blessing and curse thing. I have 11 days to study, but of those 11 days, I’m only in reality going to study for a few. I have the blessing of having time to prepare thoroughly, but the curse of just enough time where I can talk myself into sleeping in or watching movies. For those of you who scoff, saying that you’d study for the entire 11 days, I laugh copiously in your face. Procrastination is almost a pre-requisite for university; an art form, if you would. 10. My degree from this school is going to be worth its weight in gold.

This university has made me work harder, longer, and better than I ever have. There have been several occasions during first year alone where I’ve doubted my life plans and seriously questioned what I’m doing with my life, and I’ve spoken to enough people to know that it’s not just me. We are challenged quite frequently and harshly here at UW, but I know that in the end it’s going to be worth it. As long as Macleans keeps ranking us number one, I’m going to suck it up, go to class, and graduate in four years with a degree that actually means something. Even if they don’t, well, this university is still good enough that I’m going to want to stick around.

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Letters If Mother Nature had been at the Earth Hour event held in the SLC last Saturday, she would have scolded us for our careless attitude towards the environment. She may have also washed out our collective mouth with soap for insulting her so directly. The event, hosted by UWSP and Warrior Weekends, had me excited in the days and weeks leading up to March 28th. I was even on the list of performing musicians for the night before I got a fever and sore throat that forced me to back out. A hippie jam session in the dark! Artwork promoting environmental awareness! Lots of acoustic talent! I was on cloud nine surrounded by a perfect, undamaged ozone layer. Alas, my environmental fantasy turned out to be a nightmare. I walked into the multi-purpose room to find two towering speakers and a few microphones at the front of the room. The lights were on, illuminating all the wonderful artwork on the walls. As I made my way through the throng of people chatting (with each other and on their cellphones), I heard the power-hungry whirr of an electric blender. Stepping outside to investigate, I noticed that smoothies were being served to eager recipients in disposable plastic cups. The throwaway culture was in full gear here, from the table of plastic-wrapped giveaways (that would likely be thrown out the minute participants got home), to the alcohol-awareness forms everyone had to fill out, to the volunteer that offered me some cheese from a plastic supermarket tray. As the night progressed, I watched the multiple garbage cans fill up quickly. I suppose there were some zero-footprint activities: the people playing poker and blackjack weren’t doing any harm, and the craft station using reclaimed fabrics and paper was a good idea. But on the whole, turning off the lights in the tiny multipurpose room for one hour certainly did not make up

for the wastefulness of the rest of the night. This is not an attack against UWSP; the organization does many great things for Mother Nature which are too exhaustive to mention here. But in this case, I think they misunderstood the purpose behind Earth Hour. It was a great social event, and nothing more. Those of the opinion that this event promoted sustainability or increased environmental consciousness on campus are sorely mistaken. — Sam Nabi Planning, first year Re: Campus Rec For the Cup To the editor, In the recent article “Campus Rec for the Cup,” the writer described the intense teamwork and camaraderie of the Campus Rec, All-Star Contact, Given’r Generals of Canada, and asked readers to help vote for them to win an awesome hockey party. As much as I am in complete agreement that UW has a poor image in the sporting world, and we need to work on improving it, the Given’r Generals may not be the team to get behind. Anyone (like myself) playing in the All-Star Contact division knows of this team’s reputation as dirty and unsportsmanlike. Twice this season alone, they have received Spirit of Competition ratings of -4 (this means that both the referees and the opposing team gave them the worst possible sportsmanship rating). As a referee, I also know the challenges of reffing this team. They are arrogant and often extremely unsportsmanlike. They were the only team in all of hockey intramurals (there’s 78 teams) this term to not make the playoffs. For those not involved in Campus Rec, you need a minimum average SOC of +1 to make the playoffs. This is relatively easy to attain. The Given’r Generals were not allowed to participate in playoffs this year because they consistently showed poor sportsmanship throughout the

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season. Is this really the team we want to choose to represent UW’s sporting community? — Luke Burke Legal studies and business, second year Re: Trouble at SJU To the editor As a longtime student and proponent of SJU, I have been shocked and saddened by some events there lately. I have watched the institution fall from being one of the pre-eminent Catholic institutions of higher education in Canada and possibly North America, to being just another church college affiliated with a Canadian university. Even just a few years back, SJU hosted and supported events on a global scale. The International Thomas Merton Society held its first conference outside the continental U.S. at SJU. St. Jerome’s Centre for Catholic Experience once brought in worldclass lecturers with a great variety of backgrounds and breadth of opinion on Catholic theology and social issues. I am thankful to Imprint for bringing many of these issues to light. I could not be as unbiased as the article in last week’s issue and can only hope that new media pressure

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This is not an attack against UWSP; the organization does many great things for Mother Nature which are too exhaustive to mention here. But in this case, I think they misunderstood the purpose behind Earth Hour.

will encourage the board to take some much needed action. — Steven R. McEvoy Religious studies, fourth year (Disclosure: Steven R. McEvoy is Imprint staff.) Re: “So Long Waterloo ...” I’m sad to be reminded about the lack of student initiative and turnout in the university politics that affect students most. However, I want to disagree with a few things. As an arts student (the largest faculty on campus), I applaud the effort put out by our faculty for our education and I’m proud that Waterloo seems to generally do so well in the Maclean’s Magazine rankings. I’m not sure what life is like for engineering students but very few of my classes over the years have been chronically skipped

“

Re: Earth Hour was an environmental farce To the editor

by a noticeable number of students. In fact, I like it here so much that I’m doing a fifth year before I graduate! As for the general lack of student initiative in our elections and so forth, I attribute that to our heavy workload. I find that while I enjoy my classes and life here, I generally have the blinders on to the rest of the world, distracted by all this great academia. On the flip side of the scale, unlike the engineers, this degree isn’t going to help me get a brilliant job right away; many arts students will have to go into a non-related field or pursue post-grad in order to fulfill our dreams. This isn’t a complaint; I wouldn’t fork out all this cash for tuition if I didn’t love what I was doing. Best of luck to you upon graduation, I’m sure you’ll find a great placement and thank UW for it later! — Ciaran Myers Honours Drama, fourth year

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

answers, debates, and truths eaboyeji@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

the willful blindness the sanctity of ideas (more appropriately named ideology) requires. The worst of errors are often the consequences of a lack of recognition of this fact of life. Secondly, I have learned that the surest way to avoid error is debate. Even though on this page, I have vilified the UN and various institutions that are only good for prescribing armchair solutions to real problems, I must acknowledge that they perform an important function. What you ask, except pontificate in the face of the suffering of billions? These institutions are important because they form the forum for debate on solutions to life’s challenges. The only trouble with these institutions as they exist now is that they have been flooded with thought clones who engage in what I term “intellectual masturbation” in lieu of rigorous debate. Still, this does not take away from the critical role discourse has to play in finding concrete solutions to life’s challenges. When ideas are rigorously debated, there is more of a chance that potential “errors in judgment” are picked up on very early on. However, even in such debate there is a caveat whose frequent disregard is another reason why the present systems of such debate have failed to yield positive results. Debate is not the impassioned delivery of simple logic — at least not in the real world. Debate is a passionate expression of ideas grounded not only in logic and facts but also in experience, while recognizing the variety of experiences that exist. This means that in presenting the case for our ideas, our belief has to be grounded in more than the simple circumstances of fact. It must be grounded in experiences that breed true conviction. Still, we must recognize that others might have had different experiences from us and thus allow them the chance to communicate the logic of their experiences to us. When they do this we have a duty to listen with open minds; when they don’t we have a duty to encourage them to. Unfortunately, we have too many talking robots whose emotions are numbed by numbers that allow them to logically come to the most erroneous conclusions. We must always remember that experience is an element of spirited debate that gives the necessary life to facts and logic. Lastly, we must remember that even in the absence of absolutely potent ideas, there is the presence of objective truths. No doubt, it is

sometimes difficult to determine whether or not something is indeed a truth. However, we have a duty not to ignore or even worse, suppress this truth when we come face to face with it. The ego of ideas and debate must always bow to the supremacy of truth. This is the fundamental difference between futile ideology and productive ideas. While ideology pushes an idea as productive only on its own merit, ideas are judged as productive only when they fulfill the stringent measures of objective truth. Undoubtedly, these objective truths (which are called facts in certain quarters) may change with circumstances. However, it is important to note that life’s scheme of unlikely events is no justification for randomly selecting ideas to pose

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and even the progression of time or the changing nature of circumstance, the dignity of the human person remains constant. Most importantly, it is from this intrinsic dignity that his rights — and responsibilities emerge; his rights being to live free so he can pursue his happiness; his responsibility being to enable others who share his common humanity to enjoy the same. Hence, I can confidently declare this to be the supreme measure of ideas: ideas that hold this truth at their centre are valid; ideas that do not are errors. It is these timeless lessons that have informed the basis of reason for our deliberations of the last 13 weeks. It is these timeless lessons that I hope will inform productive deliberations on the affairs of man in the future.

Engage in debate, don’t be a blind ideologue, and respect your brothers’ and sisters’ human dignity, and you are most probably on the right track.

as “solutions.” In the same way, it is particularly not a rationale for the presently prevailing mentality that there are no holds barred since “all ideas have good and bad consequences.” Even though it is true that there are no ideas that ultimately trump life’s calculated plays, there is one central principle or absolute truth against with which we should measure the effectiveness and ethics of any ideas so that we can avoid the most gruesome of errors. Contrary to erroneous impressions bandied around by ideologues of all stripes, this central truth that should trump all ideas is not the supremacy of God, or the logic of evolution. It is not the wonder that is technology, or our responsibility to the environment, important as these ideas may seem. It is not even the recognition of human rights or the justice of equality. This constant, almighty principle, if you may, is the dignity of the human person. It is this idea that the human person possesses an intrinsic dignity that is not debatable because whether or not we choose to recognize it; the human being possesses this innate characteristic that affirms his humanity. Come the turbulence of tragedy, the trials of bondage, the inequality of status,

“

ike all things good (or evil) our journey of errors must come to a close. On some level that pains me because I have enjoyed the fierce reactions from those who read this column, been inspired by the rekindled debate, and been grateful for the opportunity to engage in the thoughtful penning each “error” requires. On another level it gladdens me because I know that at this point, calling out error requires that a viable alternative to life’s “comedy of errors” is presented. No doubt, it is most challenging to present in this limited space a reasoned alternative to a concept so massive it spun 13 weeks of material over a wide variety of subjects. In preparation for this moment, I have walked long blocks, attempting to fix my head on a single idea of what could constitute a responsive and responsible alternative to today’s “errors” as we have defined them thus far. Disappointingly, I found none. As my thoughts flitted from one solution to the other, I found, surprisingly, that there was no system of thought that could holistically encompass the many proposed solutions you have seen in this column thus far. In this experience of exposing common errors in judgment, I have learned some very important lessons that I hope you will, too. First, I have learned that there are no oneword, absolute answers to life’s challenges. There is no singular perspective of looking at the world that has proven correct. All ideas, however rational they may seem, have significant deficiencies and it is our responsibility to correct these deficiencies. I would be the first to admit that even the seemingly lucid solutions I have proposed in this column are not above reproach or valid criticism. More specifically, the many absolutist debates between say, capitalism and socialism or technology and the environment do little to lead us out of our errors. In truth, they entrench it. Unfortunately, especially in our learning environment, I have found that we are too quick to identify with one of the many ideologies that fly in our faces. We must either be liberal or conservative, capitalist or Marxist, environmentalist or industrialist. This is a wrong-headed approach not only to learning but also to life because it blinds us to the dangers inherent in each idea in reality, however perfect they seem in theory. Clearly, the scheme of events determined by fate and fortune do not respect

Before I leave you to enjoy an “error-free” month of sun, fun, and sound thought (I hope), I would like to challenge any and all of you in this respect. Everyone has a responsibility to combat “error” where they see it not just because error is evil, but also because error has huge and far-reaching consequences. Whether we are speaking of the terrorist made by a foolish decision to cut funding to a local school; potential life cut short very early by abortion, before she could think up a cure for AIDS; the HIV infected mother that is the direct result of the wilful blindness of religious or cultural dogma, one finds that often times, a seemingly simple error destroys thousands of lives hanging on a specific thread of fate that error has callously cut. So how do you as an individual combat “error”? I would never be able to answer that for anybody else. But this I can tell you: engage in debate, don’t be a blind ideologue, and respect your brothers’ and sisters’ human dignity, and you are most probably on the right track. P.S.: Please feel free to email me on any of these or other issues of interest over the next month while “Error” is away.

Community Editorial Thank you Waterloo... Bahman Hadji former iron warrior eic

have found throughout my time at the University of Waterloo first as an undergraduate student and now a graduate student that there is a stigma of self-victimization amongst certain students here, especially in engineering. They are of the unfortunate mindset that the “administration” is not only complacent in paying attention to the needs of undergrads, but that it is actively trying to make academics and life more difficult and less enjoyable for students. The all-encompassing term “administration” is often used to indiscriminately refer to all authority figures at UW because it is naturally easier to bash an imaginary straw man. The community editorial “So Long Waterloo” by Sunny Ng that appeared in last week’s Imprint was the epitome of this mentality. The article’s premise was that student apathy at UW has directly led to “the administration screwing students in every way possible,” naming in particular PDEng, the end of the traditional Iron Ring Stag, and the “removal” of the B2 Green as examples of the claim, before going on to bash the teaching quality at the school. On the student apathy front, there was obviously no thought given to the fact that there is no evidence to suggest this problem

is significantly more prevalent here than in other universities with regards to student politics. If the points of contention brought up in the article are examined more closely, it can be seen that the claims that “administration” is out to get students are completely baseless. The Faculty of Engineering has made a remarkable number of changes to the PDEng program since its inception, established a steering committee to get feedback from students on its direction, and even offered a one-time make-up course during the 4B school term to the Class of 2009 (which took the inaugural offering of PDEng), so that graduation wouldn’t be delayed for those needing to complete the requirements. On the issue of IRS, I can honestly say that as a co-chair of the 2008 Graduation Committee, every action was taken on our part to prevent any incidents from disrupting the events of the day last year, and the “administration” were content with letting the tradition continue as it had for decades so long as there were no serious incidents. Unfortunately, their hand was forced by the reckless actions of a few ignorant students, who did not understand the importance of only visiting and celebrating in the classes of professors contacted beforehand. The “removal” of the B2 Green as a way of “administration screwing students” is a bizarre claim. Due to the fact that the Quantum-Nano

Centre, more than a quarter of which is dedicated to undergrad students, will require tremendous stability in some of its labs, the B2 Green site was deemed to be the only one feasible on campus for the $150M project. To claim that “administration” purposely chose the site to take away from students’ enjoyment of the campus or that they should have cancelled the project so that the Green remained is laughable. With regards to the teaching quality at our school, working in the electrical and computer engineering department as a teaching assistant during my time as a grad student the past year has allowed me to see firsthand that most faculty members truly do care about teaching and the engagement of students in their classes. The “administration” is always looking at ways to improve the quality of the programs, and a great example of this is the brand new curriculum for Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) undergrad students starting this fall. While it has taken a huge administrative effort to completely revamp the two undergrad programs the department offers, it is being done to make sure they are more enjoyable for future students studying ECE. It was sad to read that the author was discouraging graduating students from donating to Plummer’s Pledge, which allows them to pledge to donate money back to the school to be used as

they see fit, be it to benefit a specific department or a student team. This tradition was started by graduating students in the engineering class of 1989 to give back to the school so that future students would have a better quality of education, and led to the student-initiated founding of the Waterloo Engineering Endowment Fund two years later. I can only imagine how an alumnus from 20 years ago would react to reading a petty rant from a current graduating student calling for others not to give back to improve the quality of the school for the future, when it was his or her donations that helped make it what it is today. It is telling though that after the tirade, Sunny concedes that were he to do it again, he would still have attended UW mainly because of its reputation – apparently not realizing the irony that if he had his way, Waterloo wouldn’t have much of a reputation. On a final note, the article also claimed that speaking out is discouraged and insinuated that The Iron Warrior’s Advisory Board (comprised of students) blocked that very same article’s publication in the newspaper, which is grossly disingenuous at best. The Iron Warrior EIC, Kevin Ling, who made the decision not to print the offending article, discusses why in his outgoing editorial; I encourage everyone to read his take in the current edition (Mar. 25/’09 – also online at tinyurl.com/iw-ed305).

Features

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Idol fever hits UW University of Waterloo singing talent take Campus to the stage in hopes of becoming the next Waterloo Idol

Naz Hagos photos by keriece harris

Keriece Harris staff reporter

Johanna Robles

1st: Naz Hagos 2nd: Johanna Robles 3rd:Arielle Best

he University of Waterloo Black Association for Student Expression, (UW BASE) and Warrior Weekends, brought its very own Idol to UWfor the first time on March 28, 2009. Auditions for UW Idol were held on Wednesday March 25 and Thursday March 26 from 12–4 p.m. in the SLC in rooms 2134 and 2135. Contestants were asked to prepare a song of their choice and sing it acapella. The objective of the auditions was to find 12 finalists. The judges selected Evan Ballantyne, Clarissa Diokno, Tariq Chammah, Audrey Bothwell, Rona Oriaifo, Jennifer Cui, Grace Lui, Arielle Best, Alicia Mah, Johanna Robles, Shirwan Sumaroo, and Naz Hagos. These finalists moved on to compete for the top three prizes of gift certificates in the amounts of $150, $75, and $25. Idol began at 10 p.m. in the SLC Great Hall and was hosted by emcees Margaret Lewis and Ucal Shillingford. Many attended to support their idol and distinct cheering sections were soon to be heard. Judges for the night included Lenore Johnson, a first year student in mathematics and business administration, who is a

talented vocalist capable of playing nine instruments; Kyle McKenzie, whose claim to fame is that he has recorded and produced at MetalWorks Studio in Toronto while majoring in urban planning; Feyi Calliste, a member of the UW Orchestra who plays the viola; and Sauni Palmer, who started playing piano at the age of seven and completed up to Grade 10 in the Royal Conservatory of Music by the age of 17. The contestants performed well, but some were more memorable than others. A few contestants forgot their lyrics in the true spirit of nervousness, but one contestant, Tariq Chammah, took the bull by its horns and brought the lyrics on stage with him, though not to his benefit. Rona Oriaifo, Naz Hogas and Arielle Best chose to sing acapella and their performances were truly great. The biggest disappointments were the no-shows. Audrey Bothwell and Grace Lui pulled out of the competition at the last minute. However, the show must go on, and that it did. In the end, the judges proclaimed Naz Hagos to be UW’s Idol. She sang “Breathless” by Corinne Bailey Rae. First runner up was Johanna Robles, who sang “Foolish Games” by Jewel and second runner up was Arielle Best, who sang “Fallin’” by Alicia Keys.

Naz Hogas was overwhelmed by having won and said that she “appreciated the support of her friends.” She also said that she believed the judges “were right on” and “very positive” and that she “enjoyed the experience and it was a good way to end school.” Post Idol, current President of UW BASE, Juliet Mugabe had these words to share with Imprint about the event. “I think that the event turned out really well. Since our club is very new (we started this winter 2009) we did have limited resources and relied on the wonderful help and equipment loaned to us by the Warrior Weekends staff. “It is up to the new UW BASE executive committee whether they will host the event again next year, so I don’t have any confirmation at this time. But if the event were to be held again next year, I would like the club to have a different and closed venue so that the contestants and judges’ voices could be heard more clearly. There was a lot going on with the rest of the Warrior Weekends events, but I think that it also added to the liveliness of UW Idol. Otherwise, I think it was a success and I thank everyone who came out and participated.” kharris@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Judges

Arielle Best

Rise against oppression Mark Zammit assistant features editor

he world today is rife with violence and oppression. On March 30, Amnesty International and the Waterloo Public Interest Reasearch Group (WPIRG) hosted an event to inform students and the public of the horrors and injustices taking place in the world around us. In particular, the event brought to light the conflict in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the oppression of the Lubicon Cree in Alberta, the inappropriate detention of Canadian Omah Khadr in the Guantanamo Bay interment facility, and the persecution of the Falun Gong in the People’s Republic of China (PRC). In the DRC, militants and soldiers are using rape and torture of women as weapons of war in a conflict over territory and commodities. The land belonging to the Lubicon Cree is actively being prospected by the Alberta gov-

ernment in the hopes of finding and drilling into oil deposits. Guantanamo Bay is set to be dismantled by the Obama administration, and Amnesty believes that Canadian Omar Khadr should be returned to Canada, in order to be tried on home soil. In the People’s republic of China, members of the peaceful religious group known as the Falun Gong are being persecuted for worshipping a fringe religion and being forced to undergo “re-education through labour.” “We want to move people from apathy into awareness, and from awareness into action” said group spokesperson Umair Muhammad. At this event, interested parties were given the chance to sign letters urging Members of Parliament to initiate action into finding suitable outcomes for these problems. Amnesty was able to get 257 letters signed, and hopes this will be enough to galvanize the government into action. mzammit@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

mark zammit

Amnesty International and WPIRG jointly hosted an event on March 30 to inform students and the public of the horrors and injustices taking place in the world.

Features

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

In the end, it’s all pretty taxing imerrow@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

he only thing worse than studying for final exams in April is the crushing knowledge that you will have to pay a heap of taxes right after you cross the finish line. Most of us scholars don’t make enough in an average academic year to even qualify for the bottom tax bracket, but taking advantage of student-specific tax breaks can tip the balance in our favour. Whether you’re a co-op student afraid you might have to actually pay tax this year, or an undergrad hungry for a fat tax rebate, read on for some tax tips that could really pay off. How tax works

Before you dive into a tax return, it’s helpful to know how Canada’s tax system works. You might be the most

familiar paying the Provincial Sales Tax (PST) and Goods and Services Tax (GST), but those don’t make up the majority of our governments’ tax revenue. In addition to taxing purchases, the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) also takes a percentage of all the money you make each year, called Income Tax. People are divided into different “tax brackets” based on how much money they make, and pay a higher percentage of tax as they enter higher income brackets. Every year, everyone files a tax return to report their income so they can be taxed appropriately, and keeps their receipts so they can prove what they claim. To provide an incentive for certain types of behaviour, the government will offer tax breaks (credits) if you spend your money on certain things

like charity, education, or saving for retirement. So, if you don’t claim your credits, you end up paying more tax than you have to. Tax credits for students

Several tax breaks exist specifically for the benefit of students. The Certified General Accountants (CGA) of Ontario’s website (cga-ontario. org) has an excellent summary of tax tips for students, but to save you the trouble, I’ve listed some of the highlights. First of all, claim your tuition. If you are a full-time student you can claim a federal credit of 15 per cent of your tuition and an additional educational credit of 15 per cent of $400 for each month you attended school in 2008. In their 2008 Students

and Income Tax pamphlet, the CRA defines “full-time students” as taking 60 per cent of their program’s expected course-load, so if you’re taking less than that you must claim part-time status, which equates to15 per cent of $150 per month of enrolment. If you are eligible for the full-time or part-time educational credit, you can also claim a textbook credit of $65 per month you attended school full-time, or $20 per month if you were enrolled part-time. Did you apply for the Textbook and Technology Grant (TTG) this year? If not, remember to apply next year on the OSAP website to automatically receive a $150 cheque even if you’re not eligible for OSAP student loans. If you’re already paying off your

money back

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walk in with your taxes, walk out with your money and you could win $5,000 towards a road trip. visit refundroadtrip.ca

come in today or call

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To qualify for student pricing, student must present either (i) a T2202a documenting 4 or more months of full-time attendance at a college or university during 2008 or (ii) a valid high school identification card. Expires July 31, 2009. Must also qualify for Instant Cash Back and Cash Back products. See office for details. Valid only at participating H&R Block locations in Canada. SPC Card offers valid from 08/01/08 to 07/31/09 at participating locations in Canada only. For Cardholder only. Offers may vary, restrictions may apply. Usage may be restricted when used in conjunction with any other offer or retailer loyalty card discounts. Cannot be used towards the purchase of gift cards or certificates.

student loans, you can also claim up to 15 per cent of those interest payments on your tax return. Also of note is that scholarships and bursaries are now fully exempted from taxation, and do not need to be claimed at all. What about the expenses of real life? Rent is 20 per cent deductible when you live in Ontario. It is important to obtain rent receipts from your landlord so you are not fully taxed on the $1,400-$2,400 you pay in rent every 4 month term. Be careful dealing with landlords that do not want to provide receipts — they may not be claiming your rent payments as income, and are avoiding tax illegally. You might also be able to claim your moving expenses to get to school or co-op in 2008. If you had to move at least 40 kilometres closer to school or co-op as a full-time student you can claim moving expenses like truck rentals and fuel — just remember to keep your receipts as proof. Also, remember that transportation passes are tax deductible, too. If you had to buy monthly transit passes in Toronto or Ottawa during your summer or co-op term you can claim them on your tax return. Every student should apply for the Goods and Services Tax (GST) Credit, which is a small reimbursement for the GST you pay all year long. For low to middle income single adults, the amount was $242 annually as of July 1 2008, paid out in quarterly installments. Also, if you’re not married you’re entitled to an additional $127. Tax shelters for everyone

There are two main tax savings vehicles in Canada: Registered Retirement Savings Plans (RRSPs) and the Tax Free Savings Account (TFSA). Both function differently, but accomplish the same goal of reducing the tax you have to pay at the end of the year. Normally you’d be taxed on the income spent buying these products, as well as on the profit made as they grow. If you put your investments in an RRSP you can delay paying taxes on them until you retire, when you’ll likely be in a lower tax bracket. There are limits to what you can contribute every year, and penalties for withdrawing them early, but contributing to an RRSP is a smart way to reduce the taxes you have to pay from year to year. The Tax Free Savings Account is a more flexible tax shelter. If you’re 18 or older, you can put up to $5,000 of investments into the TFSA a year and you will not be taxed on the money you make as it grows. This might not seem like a big deal if you have normal investment growth, but if you buy $5,000 of stock in a company and put it in your TFSA – and your stock’s value skyrockets to $10,000 – you don’t have to pay tax on the $5,000 you make by selling the stock. With files from CRA’s Students and Income Tax pamphlet, Ontario Ministry of Revenue, the UW International Student Office, the Certified General Accountants of Ontario 2008 Tax Tips for Students pamphlet, and Canada’s Ministry of Finance FAQ.

Features

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Asian Cliques on Campus

Styles, trendiness and nightlife

groups of Asians usually “walling” themselves off from the other club patrons. The other half is the slightly nerdy crowd that focuses more on academics; many in this crowd have spent much of their lives in Canada fulfilling roles as the stereotypical Asian overachievers. This has culminated in them entering one of the so called “Asian” programs at Waterloo, namely Accounting, Math, or CS. School tends to dominate the focus of group conversations, including how to best beef-up resumes to show off to employers. Many guys (and girls) in this group have a big fascination with videogames such as DDR and DOTA, and prefer a night of playing those games to clubbing and getting trashed. The last major CBC group is the white-washed or “banana” crowd. These guys wouldn’t be caught dead doing stereotypically Asian things such as Karaoke (unless it’s at the Spur), or talking in Chinese and hanging out with other Asians. They try their best to emulate the “American college experience” as depicted by luminary films as American Pie. This includes wearing polo shirts with shorts and sandals whenever possible, listening to alternative indie bands, and going to keggers where they’re the only minority in the crowd. Their hangouts include the Bomber,

Phil’s, Philthy’s, and sometimes Caesar Martini’s. The FOB crowd has much greater diversity than the CBC crowd in the number of cliques that form. The cliques can generally also be divided

“

Koreans, Vietnamese, Malaysians, Indonesians, and Filipinos also all have their own individual cliques. I didn’t mention Japanese because their numbers at this school are miniscule and they tend to be absorbed into one

Many in this crowd have spent much of their lives in Canada fulfilling roles as the stereotypical Asian overachievers at school.

into the party and academic crowds, although the two respective crowds differ from the CBC crowds. The FOB party crowd prefers karaoke boxes and Toronto venues for its parties. They’ll go clubbing, but only if the event is predominantly Asian. You’re doubtful to see any of the fobby crowd at Bomber Wednesday or Phil’s on the weekend. The academic crowd tends to be composed of well-off international students who are here to get a degree as quickly as possible, keep to themselves largely, and then go back home and make lots of money. FOB cliques are divided largely among language, nationality and ethnic line. That is, Mandarin and Cantonese speaking crowds, Mainland China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, or South-east Asia Chinese cliques.

“

aving now spent several years at Waterloo, I have observed and even joined most of the wide range of Asian cliques on campus. Coming from a high school and a middle school with few Asian kids, Waterloo actually opened my eyes with regards to how the various Asian cliques act internally and towards each other. Beyond just the general FOB and CBC crowds, the Asian cliques are subdivided into many categories. You have the generic English-only crowd of CBCs which actually include a heterogeneous mix of Asian ethnicities including Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. This group of Asians can be readily indentified by the hairstyles and clothes that they wear. Guys sport short hair, not dyed, and usually gelled. Girls — long straight hair, dyed or natural, usually not heavily layered. They have a penchant for wearing your typical teenage/twenty something overpriced North American gear; Hollister, Abercrombie, FCUK, TNA, etc. This group subdivides into two factions; the partying, club-goer crowd as typified by members of CASA (Canadian Asian Students Association). They love to hit clubs (think REV or 140 West in Waterloo), with generic top 40 or hip-hop/R&B music, clustered together as big

yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

of the other Asian cliques, though they do exert the greatest cultural influence. FOB cliques all have their own idiosyncrasies and individual identifying features, although in general FOB groups can be identified by their hairstyles and clothing choice just like the CBC cliques. FOB guys tend to have longer hair that is well styled through the use of lots of clay and $50 stylists. The girls tend to have dyed, curly hair, with clothing choices inspired by Japanese fashion magazines. Koreans in particular stand out among the FOB cliques for their “metro” fashion and are typically recognized as the most stylish of the Asian groups. Beyond just the FOB and CBC cliques, there are Asian cliques that overlap both groups. The first is

the devoutly religious crowd (read Christian crowd). Like the other Asian cliques, this group hangs out predominantly with other Asians, but can be either CBC or FOB. The common feature of this group is that their social activities are focused around Christian youth groups, both in Waterloo and back home in Toronto or Vancouver. This group tends to avoid the secular party crowds of CSA or CASA in favour of completely sober activities. Their dress code tends to be more modest and Plain-Jane compared to the club goers, though a few of them will participate in the party crowd on Saturday and pray away their sins on Sunday. Another ubiquitous Asian clique in Waterloo is the Markham crowd. These are big groups of Asian friends who live in the same area in Markham, went to the same middle and high school, and then all came to Waterloo together (often in the same program). They spend all their weekends back in Toronto, and most of their social group in third-year university is the same as their social group from Grade 10. Now that you’ve have a brief outline of the different Asian social cliques here at UW, you too can brave the perilous world of inter and intra clique drama that reminds you of younger, more foolish high school days.

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                          

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Photo Feature

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Shedding some

light

photos by mark zammit

Mark Zammit assistant features editor

ith over 20,000 students enrolled at the University of Waterloo, it can be easy to overlook a small subset of the population. This past term, there were about 1,500 students registered with the Office of Persons with Disabilities (OPD). What’s more is that around 95 per cent of those enrolled have “invisible disabilities,” rather, they are people who may not be visibly impaired. In fact, OPD recognizes several categories of disabilities: ADHD, learning disabilities; psychological/psychiatric disabilities; medical conditions, physical disabilities; visual or auditory disabilities. Once registered with OPD, students have access to a multitude of services and academic accommodations designed to enhance their educational experience at UW and to promote an environment for learning. The OPD provides alternative examination rooms that include computer workstations enhanced with voice recognition and screen reading software available for students who have difficulty performing in traditional examination environments. As well, a team of people are actively employed to convert course material from text or audio sources into media

that caters to students’ needs. An Education & Technology Lab and Adaptive Technology Centre, equipped with adaptive hardware and software os available for students to research, study, and complete projects. The OPD supports the Student Access Van service which employs a team of student drivers to provide accessible transportation on campus and to the residences via a wheelchair-accessible van. The OPD has established an account with local taxi services to further assist students with permanent and temporary mobility issues. Currently, there is slight discrepancy between what the university recognizes as full-time enrolment, and what OSAP recognizes. As it stands, with proof of disability, OSAP will recognize as few as two courses as a full time load: This allows these students to become eligible for the Bursary for Students with Disabilities, which offsets the additional costs incurred for technology products and other devices required to support students’ learning. The OPD collaborates with faculty and staff across campus to provide accessible teaching, learning and student life environments at UW. — With files from Invisibledisabilities.org mzammit@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Part6

crime on campus

Part 1: A history of student crime

Part 2: Stealing

Part 3: Public & property incidents

Part 4: Drug culture, facts & fictions

Part 5: Violent crime

Part 6: Hate crime, and security cultures

Part 6

Security cultures at uw:

what are the variables, who are the players? Maggie Clark staff reporter

T a Case study in hate crime: lessons from glow — the queer and questioning community Amy LeBlanc staff reporter

W’s GLOW — The Queer and Questioning Community Centre is the longest continuously running queer organization on a Canadian university campus. Holding this title is an honour, but GLOW’s years of activism and awareness have also brought with them a long history of discrimination and victimization of its members. It’s been over 35 years since Canada’s first large-scale public protest for gay rights marched on Parliament Hill in 1971, but not everyone’s opinions on homosexuality have been swayed, and the queer community continues to face turmoil in a predominantly heterosexual society. In these changing times, how has the University of Waterloo handled hate crimes towards members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) community on campus? Jeremy Steffler, GLOW’s long-time discussion group facilitator and member of the university’s LGBT committee noted that “it’s hard to tell [if UW’s reactions to hate crimes have changed] because these kinds of things were traditionally unreported.” James Saliba, GLOW’s marketing director also noted the kinds of problems that the lack of reporting causes since “there were a lot of stories [of hate crimes] but they weren’t officially documented.” Evaluating the situation on a larger scale, Saliba added, “These things can accumulate [and it makes you wonder]

what other things aren’t being reported on campus?” But how can this level of silence exist when there are multiple resources on campus victims can turn to for help, and especially when any victim can file an official report of the incident with the Human Rights office or UW Police? Sean Uyeda believes that a lot of the problem is that “people don’t know where to go to report these incidents and if they do know, they don’t feel comfortable going to the services that are available.” Saliba agrees that “calling [UW Police] is too intimidating... but [there have been suggestions of] setting up an online reporting system like what Laurier has.” Laurier’s system allows for WLU students to report hate crimes anonymously and confidentially to police services. Saliba believes that this kind of online reporting system would encourage more students to come forward regarding hate crimes, and not just those committed against members of UW’s LGBT community. The significance of reporting these incidents is that “the university will have evidence of these indiscretions. ... They will be aware that there’s a problem and will be required to do something about it.” Saliba highlights a Campus Climate survey as another positive tool in the arsenal against campus crime. According to Saliba, the tool “basically surveys the attitudes towards homosexuality and the big ‘ism’s’ on campus — racism, sexism, etc.” These surveys notify the university administration of any potential problems in campus attitudes that need to be addressed. But according to

Saliba, “things like the Campus Climate survey are [also] important in making students aware of their own views” on these issues. Of course, it’s difficult even to touch the issue of hate crimes without sources cringing. The term, representing criminal acts motivated by systemic hatred against a particular social group and carrying with it up to a five year prison term under Canadian federal law, has a lot of power. However, some contend that displeasure with the term, and the concepts it embodies, can often be a detriment to the perceived safety of affected communities. In particular, Feds VP Internal Andrew Falcao noted that ‘the word ‘hate’ [in the context of hate crime] is often added afterwards — after the crime is committed. [The crime] needs to fulfill certain parameters to be considered a ‘hate’ crime, but that’s immediately what it is to members of the queer community; before the police have even decided if it’s a crime yet.” The director of UW Police, Dan Anderson, confirmed the complexity of deciding whether or not a case is a hate crime: “Offences can only be designated as “hate crimes” by the Waterloo Regional Police, as there is provincial guideline for statistical gathering and investigative processes. Some crimes are easily determined to be “hate crimes,” such as vandalism where swastikas are spray painted on property. Often, however, it is only after the crime has been solved, and the intent of the offender has been determined, that a “hate crime” classification can be applied.” See HATE CRIME, page 20

heft is on the rise at UW — laptops and backpacks left unattended in libraries, labs, classrooms, and other public areas have been the primary victims of a crime spike on campus in the last few weeks. And the UW police want you to know this — to take this information and apply it to your day-to-day precautions — because prevention is the most proactive part of crime management. Said Staff Sergeant Christopher Goss, “No one should be leaving anything of value unattended; you are just inviting a theft. We really need people to be vigilant.” But the question of how best to deter or prevent crime is not always an easy one; and as such, different campuses are likely to take different approaches to student concerns — while even within any one campus, police response may vary from case-to-case. These variances most specifically lie on the spectrum of “How much information should be released to the public?” In cases like “petty” theft, the answer is fairly simple: As much as possible, since the information will do little to make individual students fear for personal safety. But when personal safety does in fact stand to be threatened, approaches vary on how best to address the situation without blowing isolated incidents out of proportion. One especially striking case of omission-for-public-benefit lies with GLOW — The Queer and Questioning Community Centre. GLOW holds Wednesday discussion groups in a “nonthreatening, public place” most every week in the year, but on February 15, 2006, discussion co-ordinator Jeremy Steffler said he “came in early to set up and there was an electrical cord in the shape of a noose hanging from a beam.” The item was accompanied by a note that read, “If you just can’t take it anymore, place neck here. Or better yet, seek help.” To Steffler, the impact of the noose was clear: its presence had “poisoned that environment” by making a place that was intentionally meant to feel safe, feel very unsafe. Drawing further attention to its existence could have had very serious implications for the students in attendance, and because of this, Steffler explained that GLOW “decided not to report or publically acknowledge [the noose].” However, the incident did not pass without notice: specifically, according to Steffler the example has since been used in ALLY (sensitivity) training to spread awareness, thus serving to empower rather than to silence. Though it may be argued that campus-wide silence about other acts of hate-motivated vandalism, including the defacing of GLOW posters with homophobic messages, is equally meant to diminish the impact of these events, a different approach to hate crime is used just down the road, at Wilfrid Laurier University. Stabila noted in particular that information on a similar act of discriminatory vandalism at WLU was sent to a public radio station on The Beat. He heard them announce, alongside condemnation for the act, that “the police in Waterloo were looking for people to come forward with any information regarding some anti-gay vandalism in a public bathroom.” What Stabila likes about this approach is that “they didn’t just have the janitors clean it off: they

involved campus police, regional police, and put out an appeal to the public. Even if the listeners had no knowledge of the event, it showed that the university was serious about that kind of [behaviour].” Stabila went on to say that this was the kind of action GLOW wants from UW. Geordie Graham agreed that it is necessary for the administration to “deal with [these incidents] in a ... transparent way that is open to all members of the community.” And yet it would not be accurate to suggest that the UW Police do not engage different levels of the community to solve many kinds of crime: they do. Missing persons cases are especially pushed through all available channels — including the most recent, involving a UW student reported missing on Tuesday, March 31 and found Wednesday, April 1. As UW Director of Police Services Dan Anderson explained, the case was solved in co-operation with the Waterloo Regional Police: UW Police “provided the preliminary resources,” while Waterloo Regional Police were then able to place over 20 officers on the case to ensure the student was found safe and sound. According to Anderson, that level of police co-ordination is also found between campuses (UW and WLU); in particular, he cites a case wherein “sharing of information between the universities led to the identity of a thief targeting university students’ unattended property in various buildings on both campuses.” In violent crime cases, Waterloo Regional Police have access to better and more diverse resources, including at least two federal criminal databases for cross-referencing information about especially serious offences: for this reason, Anderson explained, WRP “always takes the lead” in such investigations, though where students are involved he explained that the two organizations still work closely to maximize the spread of information. Conversely, on campus, Anderson believes that crime prevention “should primarily be the responsibility of campus police.” To this end, he explained that UW police “use directed patrols in the libraries, athletic facilities and other high traffic areas to discourage theft.” Members of the campus service also sit in an advisory role on a variety of committees pertaining to student safety and well-being, including the alcohol committee (which meets every two months) and both the LBGTQQ steering committee and working group. A special constable is also assigned to each federated university or affiliated college associated with UW, to improve communication between these distinct bodies, and their own constituents, with UW campus as a whole. Anderson also encourages students to be personally responsible and proactive in their community, both in regard to their own safety (and the maintenance of personal belongings) and that of others. The issue of stolen laptops is presently at the top of the UW police priority list, but students are encouraged to speak out on any issues of safety and security they might have on UW campus. mclark@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

— With files from Amy LeBlanc

Crime on campus

Hate crime: Before & after Continued from page 16

Concerning a lot of these incidents of discrimination and hate crimes on campus, Steffler noted that with the legal limits that are in place, the lack of official reports, and the fact that “there’s also not security cameras everywhere ...The administration really had no other choice but to say ‘we understand your concern, but there’s little we can do about it.’” However, there is hope for the future for UW’s LGBT community; Steffler noted that “the goal is to have police more receptive and more proactive.” Geordie Graham, GLOW’s special events director similarly encouraged UW to be “more proactive rather than reactive.” As part of these efforts, Saliba expressed that “we really want all [UW] police officers to have ALLY training.” What is ALLY training? According to Saliba, “GLOW runs a training program ...that is similar to gay/straight alliances in high schools. These are sessions that offer information about terminology and resources [pertaining to LGBT issues]. The people who complete the program get a button that identifies them as a ‘safe person;’ simply meaning that they are someone that people can talk to [regarding issues regarding gender, discrimination, and sexual orientation].” Saliba noted that “The Office of Human Development offers diversity and sensitivity training [to staff members], but it’s not required.” There is, however, talk of making sensitivity and ALLY training mandatory for UW staff. Steffler agreed that “anyone can benefit from this kind of training,” but training for staff is really a work in progress. He suggested that possibly just “promoting it among staff members” might be a good start for the administration. “[But] you can only pre-empt so much,” said Saliba, “then you have to do something [when hate crimes are committed].” Of these crimes (one of which is mentioned on page 18, under the article “Security cultures at UW”) one of the most recent incidents was the “pride flag incident.” According to Saliba, in October 2007 (during campus Queer Pride week) the rainbow flag representing the GLOW — Queer and Questioning Community Centre, and all the people it serves, was torn down and thrown in the garbage bin. “The turnkey desk employees noticed ... and notified Campus Police,” said Saliba. “Campus police called it vandalism.” Saliba went on to explain that “The GLOW community wasn’t happy with this response. We got the flag back but ‘there’s nothing we can do’ was the [general] response. This year we put up the same flag, in the same place, and the same thing happened: some drunken guys from the Bomber cut it down.” Of course, a lot of drunken antics happen in the SLC on Bomber nights, and SLC workers will attest to other items getting torn down or defaced on a fairly regular basis, but Saliba noted that he’s “never heard of any other flags or banners being ripped down. It’s happened two years in a row, it’s not a coincidence. There can’t be any other reason for it than homophobia. It’s discrimination of the symbol: the flag wasn’t provoking them in anyway.” Christine Ogley, the library editor at GLOW agreed that “it doesn’t look random, and it [shouldn’t be treated] like it’s a small issue or a non-issue.” UW Police were indeed limited in their ability to help, according to Anderson, although he is much more positive about the consequences of this event, and how it can be used to further improve relations on campus in the future. “In this instance UW Police fully investigated the removal of the flag,” said Anderson. “Unfortunately we were unable to identify the culprit. We had a number of discussions with members of the GLOW committee, keeping them apprised on the progress of the investigation. This investigation was a catalyst to developing a strong and ongoing relationship with GLOW.” Campus responses following the flag incident are available on Imprint online, in comments for the article “GLOW flag found in garbage bin during Coming Out Week.” The many diverse responses therein attest to the concerns GLOW had about the campus environment following this incident, which led the organization to solicit awareness-raising events through the Student Life Office. According to Saliba, one event was held in the SLC to counter these concerns; though he appreciated that this year’s incident provoked some response, he is still dissatisfied with its level and impact. “It was still a very small response. We felt like it was just an attempt to calm down the members of GLOW.” Ogley explained that “there’s [still] little attention to the impact of these incidents. [There needs to be a clear message that] it’s not okay to intimidate and threaten others...[in a situation like this one] we’re not so much worried about [labelling] it as a ‘crime,’ but to draw attention to homophobia on campus.” aleblanc@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Editor’s note:

UW Police: 519-888-4567 x 22222

Over the course of the Crime on Campus series, Imprint learned of many incidents on campus of a severe nature, the victims of which declined to come forward or report the incidents in question. Though we grappled with some of the reasons for this hesitation over the last few weeks, we at Imprint cannot stress enough the importance of calling campus or regional police as soon as possible after an event has occurred, so as to maximize the chances of resolving the case — both for your benefit, and for the benefit of others who might in the future be harmed by your perp. If you do not feel comfortable doing so, seek help with another service in the community — be it health, well-being or media related. A community is only as safe as its members are vocal: Please, speak up and out.

Features

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Definition of a shopaholic

Tina

ston

iron

Phoung Tram reporter

“W

hen women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking” said Elayne Boosler, American comedian and activist. I, as a woman and as a shopper, can relate to this quote. I don’t know how men invade another country but I sure know that a tasteful meal and a new outfit would heal how I feel. The sad part is that it’s only temporary and then I’d need it again and again. I often find myself buried in guilt counting receipts and snatching away the tags with different markdowns. Yes, I do feel good that they were on sale but sad that I’ve spent more than I had intended. My paycheque usually enters the front door and quickly flies out the back door, straight to the mall. It shocks me over and over again how fast spending can be. Regardless of its downside, I still think shopping is one of the greatest joys that women take advantage of. Unfortunately men are missing out on the experience. To men, shopping is like a mission and they tend to make it as quick as possible and leave. For women however, it’s more like a tour for good sales, bargains and samples. According to marketing professor Stephen J. Hoch at Wharton research, “Women think of shopping in an interpersonal, human fashion and men treat it as more instrumental. It’s a job to get done.” The results indicate that women are more likely to experience shopping problems than men. For women, “lack of help” is the main issue and this can result about six per cent losses in business of women shoppers. For men however, finding a close parking to the store’s entrance was the major problem. Also, business is most likely to be lost from men if the product they came for is not available; about five percent of male shoppers could be lost for this reason. Also males and female shoppers have different interactions with sales associates. For men, it is important that an associate help them find the item they’re looking for and the effort of getting them through the line as fast as possible. For women, store loyalty is based on the sale associate’s product knowledge and to determine which item or style is best for them. Women shoppers also value sales

associates that make them feel important. Paula Courtney, president of the Verde Group, points out that, “Women are more apt to be angered by a lack of engagement behavior from the sales associates. For men, while engagement is still important, it’s not as important as finding product and getting in and out quickly.” The founder of WomenCertified, a marketing research company, Delia Passi says retailers have been aware of the differences between two genders as shoppers. “It goes back to gatherers versus hunters. Women are gatherers. Men are hunters. Women walk into a store and scan. Men look for a specific aisle.” From a scientific research, she notes, shows women have better peripheral vision than men, which would benefit them as gatherers. Passi adds “When it comes to the retail experience, men and women both go into the store to buy something, only she wants more. She wants more interaction. She wants more eye contact. He wants quick answers while she’s looking for support and collaboration in the buying process.” Passi acknowledged that many of the observations revealed in the survey still reflect generalities and that many women and men do not fit into the broader patterns. This does not necessarily play into sexist stereotypes of women as more emotional and weaker. According to a survey, trillions of dollars are made annually through shopping purchases from women, this accounts for 85 per cent of all consumer expenditures. This means, “Women shop more. As in developed markets women spend about 2.5 per cent more than men a year.” Said Heinz Krogner chairman and CEO, Espirit Global. A psychological science study suggests that sadness leads to shopping and ego-centrist thinking. In other words, a sad person tends to turn into a shopaholic by willing to spend extra money on the same item. “It is the combination of sadness and self-focus that drives the effect, and it turns out that sadness leads to an increase in self-focus,” said Cynthia Cryder, co-author to the compulsive shopping disorders study, “What we think is going on is that sad and self-focused people are feeling pretty bad about themselves and have a decreased value, and one way to do this is by acquiring material goods.” On the same note, if this is true, does that mean women are unhappier than men because they shop more? Shopping is a hobby for some, and therapy for others, but it can become an addiction for many. Rebecca Bloomwood in the movie Confession of A Shopaholic is a perfect example of this. In Confessions of a Shopaholic, the Plucky, Becky Bloomwood, overly enjoys shopping and runs up massive credit card debit. She begins receiving letter from Endwich bank claiming she owes them large amounts of money. She writes back to the Endwich Bank trying to delay her payments by offering other suggestion, which are sometimes comical and result in confused and matter of fact no responses. Becky tries to be frugal and cut back but in doing so, she actually spends more money by buying ‘frugal things’ she thinks will help her save money. What doesn’t help her cause is when she feels the need to be consoled she finds consolation in buying herself something. More frustration added when she lost her job but unintentionally landed another after a drunken letter-mailing mix-up. She lands a new job as a financial analyst and ironically her writing is about consumer caution, which she has yet to abide.

Her unconventional metaphors for economics, grants her critical acclaim, public success, and the admiration of her supportive boss Luke. However, her shopping addiction puts her happiness on the edge and threatens all she’s worked towards. This spiral causes Becky to try and overcome her “shopaholic” condition without depending on shopping for happiness. Becky is the perfect definition of a shopaholic, she is a compulsive spender, and always buying whatever she wants or thinks she needs. Christian Wheeler a researcher at Stanford University, says there’s “very strong differences between men and women and their shopping behaviors.” A perfect example of this is in Confessions of a Shopaholic book, when Becky meets Luke Brandon, a hunky Public Relations professional in a department store. Brandon is looking for luggage and is about to buy any random one that does the purpose; whereas Becky spends hours showing him the different types of luggage. Brandon was only in the store to get a luggage and leave, whereas Becky browsed and found a scarf that caught her eye before moving onto luggage shopping. Wheeler found that 75 per cent of women browsed until they had seen most of the things in the store compared to only 33 per cent of men. It also showed that they like to shop looking for potential sales and that women are more likely to spend even if they don’t have a need for the item. Men are completely different because they go shopping with a purpose in mind. They do not go to the mall for fun or entertainment as their female counter parts do. Scientists have confirmed what many of us already know and have experienced first hand. Most men buy then leave, while most women browse and shop. Men in general should understand this fact and wait patiently if they shop with a woman. Women should keep track of their spending and try not to get carried away. Also consider whom you are shopping with because this can impact how much you buy depending on that person’s eagerness and financial accessibility. Keeping these points in mind should lead to a better experience for all involved.

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Straight from the sources

or the past little while I’ve been browsing through some of my regular websites for inspiration. I realised that I should probably share where I look for inspiration with you all. I’m not a heavy reader of blogs and such, but I do cruise around the series of tubes for a general knowledge of what’s what in the world of cartoons. As many of you may have lots of time to spend after exams, I’d recommend taking a look at a few of these sites.

“

Drawn! The Illustration & Cartooning Blog is one of my favourite sources for information mostly because there’s a great focus on Canadian content.

“

Drawn! The Illustration & Cartooning Blog (www.drawn.ca) is one of my favourite sources for infor mation mostly because there’s a great focus on Canadian content. While I’m not usually one for CanCon, national illustration and cartoon work has almost always caught my eye. The creator of Drawn! and Toronto-based comic illustrator John Martz, along with the contribution of many comic artists and illustrators — most of whom are based in Canada — have collected a great amount of

comic related news, as well as featuring a wide collection of artist samples and media. For news of the animated perspective, I tend to get my information from Cartoon Brew (www.cartoonbrew.com). Created by animation historians Jerry Beck and Amid Amidi, they cover a lot of material from the history of animation all the way to what’s being done in studios today. One particular posting by Amidi dated March 27, 2009, lead to a photo gallery of the Sorcerer in the new Disney live-action rendition of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice voiced by Nicholas Cage due to be released into theatres in July 2010. While not much is said in the specific post, Amidi has said that “This news has inspired me to start a new tag category on Cartoon Brew, and yes, I plan on using this tag often.” I look forward to reading Amidi’s post on “Bad Ideas.” One inspiring site comes from freelance artist, Paulo Patricio. Quotes On Comics (www.quotesoncomics.com) is a random-generator website that holds a great collection of submitted quotes by a slew of popular people about the world of comics and its history. Quotes range from Daniel Clowes to David Bowie; there’s a lot of inspiring and impacting lines that I didn’t know about. It’s a great way to waste time online, and it’s nothing short of neat to look at. I’d recommend you take a look at

what’s being said and done in the world of cartoons. Check out some webcomics podcasts, like Gutter Talk and Digital Strips, and find out exactly what is going on. There’s a lot to be learned.

Daylight in the city

f I had a nickel every time a band I really like breaks up or goes on hiatus, well, I’d probably only have about 50 cents... but five of those cents could be from this week’s band: Strata. When I first heard Strata’s self-titled album in 2004, it had an interesting quality, but the album felt like the band wasn’t quite sure what they wanted It was enough to make me interested in what the band would do in the future, and it was for good reason because Strata Presents the End of the World (SPEW) is an amazing follow-up. Strata Presents the End of the World was released in 2007 and is still an album that I frequently listen to. Strata really stepped up everything for this album, with much better instrumentation, extremely compelling lyrics, and even the vocals were more impressive. “Night Falls (The Weight of It)” is a great introductory song with haunting vocals and lyrics that start the album off on a very dark note: “The room filled up with water and the roar of the crowd died down, they didn’t hold their breath, they just waited to drown.” Lead singer Eric Victorino is really a driving force behind this album with his exceptional lyrics and a unique lighter vocal style that conveys a lot of emotion (plus he has a great name — Eric). I can confidently say that the second track on the album, “Hot/Cold (Darling, Don’t)” is one of the best breakup songs I

have ever heard — and I have heard a lot of breakup songs. While this track is a quieter one, the album doesn’t really have any very loud tracks, (partially because even when Victorino is yelling, he is never particularly loud), but the instrumentation always sounds deeply layered and yet never distorted — everything sounds very independent and clean. Speaking of clean is SPEW’s first single — “Cocaine (We’re All Going to Hell)” (as you may have noticed by now, Victorino is clearly a fan of brackets — and so am I). It’s definitely the catchiest song on the album and it contains a story about guys using cocaine to win over girls for a quick lay. With topics like this, the end of the world, meeting Satan in a bar, and their version of the U.S. national anthem, you can see the album has quite a bit of variety. Strata Presents the End of the World is, for the most part, a very pessimistic album; Victorino wrote that this album was his attempt at writing about what it is like to live in America right now. It does however, end on a positive note with “Daylight in the City.” While the lyrics are still bleak at the beginning, it ends with a hopeful track shining a bit of light on the dark ideas throughout the rest of the album. Unfortunately, the album is not perfect. The main issue with it is that the first half is clearly better than the second half, which starts to lag until “The New Na-

tional Anthem” and “Daylight in the City.” Now I should clarify that Strata has not offically broken up, but Victorino left the band and the other remaining members simply created a new band called Beta State (which is currently still searching for a vocalist) — so

album doesn’t really have any ♫♪ The very loud tracks, (partially because even when Victorino is yelling, he is never particularly loud), but the instrumentation always sounds deeply layered and yet never distorted — everything sounds very independent and clean. that’s about as close to breaking up as you can get. However you can still check out some of their tracks at (www.purevolume.com/strata), such as “Hot/Cold (Darling, Don’t),” “Cocaine (We’re All Going to Hell),” and “Daylight in the City.” So check out the album (and then lose hope knowing that this is the last Strata album).

♪♫

Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

POST-HIPSTER

edia grouchies have spent much of the past couple years getting their skinny jeans in a knot over hipsters. But anti-hipster bile has definitely seen its day; it peaked around 2007-2008 with “hipster-mustdie” cover stories in Time Out New York and Adbusters. These days, there is a relative lull in hipster dialogue; people are simply not talking about them as much. What happened – have hipsters disappeared? A more prescient question might be: where have they disappeared to? Infamous Adbusters pundit Douglas Haddow seems convinced that there is something new and sinister about hipsterdom. In his Adbusters story, he compares hipsters unfavorably to previous counterculture movements like punk rock. He has two arguments: one, that there was a driving cause behind punk bigger than just looking trendy, and two, that punk used new style ideas instead of ironically chewing up discarded relics of the past. These arguments may ring true with the punk example, although they have been criticized for idealizing punk after the fact. But they are pretty indefensible when extended to punk’s sister subcultures of skinhead and mod. Both of these subcultures, like hipsterdom does now, chewed up discarded aesthetics and subverted them for their own purposes. The skinhead movement used a

amackenzie@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

no-nonsense working-class aesthetic to react to the comfortable free love of the dominant hippie subculture of its time. Mods, who preceded punks, reacted to the grungy James Dean look of the 1950s by dressing sleek and modern. Is the hipster movement equally reactionary? Time will tell – it’ll be a few years before the hipster history books get written. Don’t be surprised if hipsterdom gets pegged as a reaction to the lo-fi grunge of the 1990s. It’s a bit harder to identify than the mod style’s reaction to the “’50s greaser look,” since hipsters don’t really vocalize any disdain for grunge. But the difference in ideas is obvious. Lo-fi was an unpretentious display of vulnerability, while hipsters, like mods, returned to using irony and image to mask saying what they meant. Over the past few years, the hipster movement has started to give way to a different ideal. Irony is out; authenticity is back in. This shift is chronicled wonderfully by culture blog Hipster Runoff, which, despite its name, almost never refers to “hipsters,” and has gone so far as to rebrand itself as “HRO.” This death of the word “hipster” suggests that hipsters, at least in the traditional sense, have died out. HRO still has opinions on those who many of us would refer to as hipsters, but refers to them as “alt” – as in “alternative,” which is basically “counterculture.” While hipsterdom was

pretty ephemeral, alts are still around, and have always been. Punks were alt. Mods were alt. Hippies were alt! We’re watching the emergence of a new term in our cultural lexicon. It’s catching on fast; the Globe and Mail notably used it in referring to new Toronto alt hangout Jamie’s Area. Its popularity might just come from the fact that it has three fewer syllables and 11 fewer letters than “counterculture.” But maybe it’s simply a more accurate term. HRO’s deliciously snarky writing style gleefully uses “txt-talk” to dissect the current countercultural zeitgeist. Posts range from the epic “What does ‘space’ mean 2 u?” to the mundane “Should I blow off my iPhone?” It describes itself as “post-ironic,” which is a pretty apt description – it’s so ironic, it’s gone past ironic, and gone back to authentic again. In an extremely “post-ironic” manner, HRO refers to itself as authentic, gleefully poking fun at this newfound obsession with eschewing irony for authenticity. Authenticity, of course, doesn’t really tell the whole story, and HRO realizes this. Its tone is too detached for anything on the site to be taken seriously, and perhaps that’s the message – we never really know if we are being authentic or ironic, hipster or lo-fi – but we do fall under that big patchwork blanket of alt.

Be artistic! Express your creativity! write about music, movies, literature, webcomics, and much much more! Come write for Imprint! arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Reviews CD

Saving Abel Canadian Tour Edition Virgin

I picked up this album on a whim.The cover of the Canadian Tour Edition caught my attention. The fact that they were touring with and opening for Nickelback made it an intriguing endeavor. When I go to review and album, I tend to listen to nothing but it for a week or so and immerse myself in the sound, lyrics and mood of the album, both as individual pieces of music and as a collective cohesive whole. As such this is the only CD that has been in my car for a week now, and the mp3’s I have listened to off and on all day at work. At first I thought it was an okay album. Good sound, interesting lyrics and overall ok. I was not disappointed but I was not amazed either. That changed around the second day. The more I listed to the album, and assessed it as a whole the more impressed I became with the artists who created this work.

Novel The band formed in 2004 in Corinth Mississippi. It is composed of and eclectic electric sound of the lineup of guitarist Scott Bartlett, bassist Eric Taylor, and drummer Blake Dixon, lead singer Jared Weeks and Jason . The sound is not as heavy or dark as Nickelback, and for a band with their first big album they have a sound that is uniquely their own. The lyrics are poignant and moving, from the ballad’s Drowning and Sailed Away to the rock anthems of In God’s Eyes and Beautiful You. The sound goes from soft to hard to very hard rock, yet remains a unified whole. I am greatly impressed with this first studio release from Saving Abel. It is a great album for driving, partying or hanging out and studying., or hanging on the back porch with friends, some brews on long summer evenings. It has an explicit lyrics warning on the album, but compared Nickelback’s Dark Horse this album is very tame. More hint at innuendo rather than have blunt explicit content. The difference between the Canadian Tour Edition and the standard edition is an extra slip case cover with different cover art, and a second EP CD with three songs, including acoustic versions of 18 Days, Addicted and exclusive content release of Only Human. The greatest strength of this album is every artist is featured on different pieces and different parts of some songs. The band is a collective and each member is a strength, where the sum of the parts is greater than the whole. Overall a terribly impressive first album! —Steven R. McEvoy

Courtesy Chapters.ca

100 Cupboards – Book 1 N.D. Wilson Yearling – An Imprint of Randomhouse

This was a fascinating book. I was intrigued by the cover and the writing. The story focuses around Henry a 12 year old boy. His parents are travel writers who have been kidnapped. He stays with his uncle Frank, aunt Dotty, and his three cousins; Anastasia, Henrietta, and Penelope. Henry gets the attic as his bedroom. While Henry lays in bed, he starts hearing thumping on the outside wall, and the plaster starts crumbing off. He finds two dial knobs on a door. With some scraping and hard work he uncovers a whole wall of cupboard doors all different shapes, sizes and styles. Henry and Henrietta begin to try and find out what they can about the doors, that lead to different places and times. Now the adventure begins in earnest. They learn many things, and

have a great adventure but some doors should never be opened. This story is masterfully told, the sense of amazement, awe and adventure it creates in the reader is magnificent. Wilson has constructed a wonderful story that starts in our world and has so many possibilities. The reader finds themselves racing ahead wanting to find where the story will go. I found myself cheering on Henry and Henrietta as they moved through the story. The characters are believable and, the story well written and excellently paced. It is reminiscent of C.S. Lewis’s The Magician’s Nephew except instead of magic pools that lead to different worlds it is the magic of the cupboards. These books would be an excellent read for your summer break. Book two has just come out entitled Dandelion Fire, so if you like the first book as much as I did, you have even more to read. —Steven R. McEvoy

Enigma

ometimes you just don’t know what combination of liquor and deadlines was coursing through a writer’s head when he/she pens the script of a film few are meant to fully understand. Some movies are just enigmas. In this article, I thought I’d talk about a film you may have seen that appears to have little or no logical thought behind it. But there’s a twist -— if you watch it and find you don’t understand, you’re mind most likely does. Punch Drunk Love is a Po-Mo (post modern) 2002 flick starring Adam Sandler. Instead of the usual sarcastic, Sandler’s character is the eccentric boss of a novelty toilet plunger company. We’re off to a good start. He finds a harmonium (an organ-like instrument) that fell out of a truck on the street near his warehouse, has seven sisters who give him hell because of his personality disorder, falls in love with one of their work friends, and gets in deep with one of his creditors; a phone-sex operator. It’s everything that makes this surreal romantic-comedy so impressive that also leaves it abstract and, to some, dissatisfying. The score of this movie is comprised of percussive beats and harmonium chords, getting down to the basis of answering the question: what simple music can sum up the scene? The rhythms they use are is surprisingly engaging and makes you more attentive of the action on screen than you probably would be otherwise. But Punch Drunk Love doesn’t

seem to be telling us anything plot or character-wise. This is where you’d like to think of it as a work of art, which is, in itself, a clichéd term used to defend something that most people don’t, won’t, or shouldn’t understand. However, the film seems deep enough that the “message” you get is perception itself. It’s like they’re imbuing a camera with subjective instead of objective vision, showing you a story of no consequence through the mind’s eye. Surrealism in film is usually more theme-oriented, as in Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and The Fountain (2006). The term itself translates in the movie industry to imaginative vistas with a normal story thrown in. The surreal element is used to simultaneously awe and to execute the theme, which is often deeper than nonsurrealist films in terms of symbolism. But Punch Drunk Love is the equal to what many know as impressionism. Like I said, it’s a movie with a view so subjective you’re drawn into this view and don’t know it until the movie’s finished. Watch Punch Drunk Love if you enjoy fantasy, and especially if you want to entertain yourself at a level movies don’t often reach. I wish there were more like it out there. Even though it was a hit with audiences, it still failed to make a profit. Post-modern and surreal films, that defy convention and focus on perceptions and basic reactions have more potential than some people realize.

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A closer look at data storage Lana Sheridan staff reporter

hen it comes to computer technology, people have become accustomed to expecting exponential returns. Since 1965, the year that Gordon Moore, one of the founders of Intel, observed that transistor density in computers was doubling every couple of years, the future has looked very bright. The dark cloud on this brilliant horizon has been the knowledge that the physical limitations of small components would eventually lead to new obstacles that are insurmountable using old tricks. In the case of data storage, it has long been assumed that atomic spacing dictates a cap on the amount of information that can be stored in a fixed area. An article recently published in Nature by Christopher Moon at Stanford University shows that there are still clever ideas left to be explored. They suggest that instead of polarizing strips of magnetic material, as is done in modern hard disks, or even the more information-dense method of arranging atoms on a surface to be read like ink on a page illuminated by light, a better strategy is arranging molecules so that electrons scattered off of them will produce distinctive patterns. It is these patterns that would be used to encode data. This improves the density of data storage in two ways. First, electrons are quantum particles — they can behave as waves with very short wavelengths. A shorter wavelength allows finer features to be resolved. To illustrate this point, Moon and his colleagues drew the smallest letter “S” possible with copper atoms and compared it to the smallest “S” that they could manage to inscribe using holographic techniques with electrons. They found that they could more than double the information storage density. Secondly, they also propose employing these holographic techniques to encode several layers of information on a single surface. Optical holograms are a familiar sight on bank cards and currency. Light reflecting from a specially prepared surface interferes with itself to form an apparent threedimensional picture behind that surface. In this way,

information about three dimensions has been stored in only two. Similarly, a collection of specially arranged molecules on a copper surface can scatter electron waves that travel along that surface. The resulting interference pattern is then detected in a region of the copper free of the added molecules. Here the third dimension is not a direction in space, but energy. What determines whether there is “ink” at a particular point on the surface, at a given energy, is whether there are many possible states for the electrons to be in at this position and energy or just a few. Moon and his associates demonstrated this principle by writing the letters “S” and “U” in the same region, using the same molecules, but for different electron energies. The area to retrieve these symbols is only a few square nanometres. The difficulty with integrating this technology into storage devices in the near future is that solving this problem in reverse to determining where to place the molecules to form each different symbol at each energy can be difficult. Because the molecules themselves take up space surrounding the readout region, the greatest

density is achieved when as many layers as possible are written in each region, but this makes the efficient solution harder to find. Incorporating multiple layers can result in a trade off between the density of information storage and efficient processing of just how to write the information. Even though these results illustrate that a lot of potential still remains for shrinking hard drives, it seems the next step will require a radically new approach. lsheridan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Holograms will soon be able to store more computer data in less space than current storage mediums.

Mohammad Jangda staff reporter

Experience reading, now in colour

Looks like black-and-white words just won’t cut it anymore. According to Technology Review, Fujitsu has developed a new eBook reader called FLEPia, sized at five by six-and-a-half inches, that brandishes a full-colour LCD screen, putting the Amazon Kindle to shame. While most existing eBook readers, such as the Kindle and Sony eReader, rely on E Ink (electronic-paper) technology to power their screen, restricting them to the black-and-white sphere, FLEPia uses an LCD technology called Reflex LCD, allowing use of the full spectrum of colour. Reflex behaves differently from typical LCD screens by using a technique called layered pixels and relies on a backlight. As such, FLEPia sacrifices the vividness and contrast typical of traditional LCDs, but is on par with E Ink-based readers. E Ink screens have dominated eBook readers since LCD screens are often hard on the eyes due to their brightness and play poorly with battery performance. FLEPia, however, maintains the high refresh rate — though still not up-to-speed with traditional LCDs — without the brightness

and manages to maintain an eight-hour battery charge. E Ink is currently said to be developing a colour screen, but is facing difficulties due to basic structure of the technology, which makes co-ordinating colour fairly difficult. The current price tag of $1,000 is a bit of a far stretch considering that the Kindle and eReader go for just a bit more than a quarter of that. However, if books in black and white just don’t make you tingle like coloured ones do, then FLEPia might be worth a try. After all, Black Eggs and Ham just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Encarta says goodnight

The recent death of a knowledge magnate has shown that even digital giants outside the “dying” world of print are in danger. According to Reuters, the Encarta encyclopedia owned by Microsoft is shutting down after 16 long years of acting as a high school essayist’s best companion. Microsoft will stop selling all Encarta products, such as the CD-ROM based software, and will also stop producing the Encarta website (which provides both free and premium versions) with the exception of Encarta Japan

as of October 31 of this year. Microsoft cited changes in the methods and locations in which consumers search for information, namely from free sources such as Wikipedia, as their reason for this business withdrawal. On the plus side, the Encyclopedia Britannica still seems strong, so hope for plagiarism-happy high school students is still alive. An iPhone for Stevie Wonder

Reminiscent of the days of Morse code, blind people may soon be able enjoy the comfort and pleasures that touch-screen devices like the iPhone offer. According to New Scientist, researchers at the University of Tampere in Finland have developed a technology that enables Braille letters to be presented on touch-screen devices. Braille, which is a tactile language, is difficult to present via touch-screen devices due to… well… their lack of tactility. But the prototype developed atop the Nokia 770 Internet Tablet uses vibrations to simulate Braille letters. These letters are represented by a twoby-three matrix with different combinations of raised and absent dots. The Tempere prototype represents a raised dot with a strong vibration

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consisting of a single pulse, while an absent dot is represented with a vibration comprising of numerous pulses. The team developed two reading techniques: one where the user swipes their hand across the length of the device, creating the appropriate vibrations, and the other where the user keeps their finger in place and the device generates the letter sequences. However, initial tests with blind volunteers show that processing the vibration is difficult and fairly slow. The difficulty is presented by the difference in presentation between traditional Braille and the new approach. While in Braille, each letter is presented as a matrix with each letter readable with a single touch, the Braille touch-screen presents letters in a linear form. Regardless, the technology holds promise, and the team hopes to move on to presentations of words and sentences next. This writer hopes that Tap Tap Revenge follows shortly after. — With files from Technology Review, Gizmodo, Reuters, and NewScientist. mjangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

death of the explorer thelferty@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“

tied in with another great tragedy: the loss of exploration. As much as I admit that there are many benefits to all the technology that has allowed us to live in comfort and create detailed maps of the world, we have lost the thrill of exploring a completely new landscape or discovering a new continent or country. Every piece of land has been found. There are no new continents or countries to explore without knowing what you’re going to find. In this modern world, you can explore a country by satellite imagery or Flickr profiles before visiting it. Some people will “travel” on Google Earth instead of going to the country at all. While there’s still adventure to be had in travelling, the thrill of finding something completely new is nearly gone. However, this tragedy was inevitable. The world is only so large, and it was only a matter of time before we mapped and discovered all of it. What is so tragic about this loss is that people no longer seem to care for adventure anymore. We’ve moved into the realm where our lives consist of graduating from school, getting a career, and starting a family. Any travelling to another country is usually jumping from city to city, hotel room to hotel room. Everything is planned out, done in comfort, and takes little effort. No one wants to take the risk of really exploring the landscape, visiting the little villages, and meeting the real culture of the country. No one wants to risk their comfort for something more exciting. Of course, climbing a mountain or backpacking (and I mean TRUE backpacking: walking with a pack on

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your back, not taking your backpack on trains and busses between cities) across a country isn’t for everyone. Even I would enjoy a week in a resort with friends, but I’m also going to take a day or two from that resort to travel into the real country. Resorts are nice, but if you want to truly know a country, there is no

We see nature as something that is either in the way of our comfort, or something that needs to be conquered.

“

n 1949, Aldo Leopold, an American ecologist and environmentalist, wrote his famous book A Sand County Almanac. At one point in the book, he discusses witnessing a couple of teenagers canoeing down a river. It is in this section of the book that he says one of my favourite quotes: “The wilderness gave them their first taste of those rewards and penalties for wise and foolish acts which every woodsman faces daily, but against which civilization has built a thousand buffers.” 60 years later and that quote about civilization cannot be closer to the truth. As a society, we are becoming completely detached from nature. I don’t mean to say that we should all be living off the land in small communes with no electricity, but rather, we almost see ourselves as alien to nature. We see it as something that is either in the way of our comfort, or something that needs to be conquered. As Leopold said, we have built buffers all around us to keep nature out. Every once in a while we may go camping, but even then most people will bring a small home-on-wheels with them, complete with air conditioning and a television. When they are outside, they will go lie on the beach and tan or drink around a campfire. And that is all great fun, don’t get me wrong; I’m always ready to enjoy a bonfire and drinks with friends. As fun as it is though, the sense of adventure is all but wiped out. No one wants to experience true nature — only view it from the safety of an air conditioned and well-insulated home. This detachment from nature and dependence on technology is also

better way to gain knowledge than outright exposure. As wonderful as comfort is, there is something inherently more enlivening about climbing a mountain (not necessarily Everest) to stand on an old temple from a long extinct culture and watch the sun setting over a massive landscape. The power of nature to utterly humble you is one of its greatest gifts. I’m not telling everyone to stop everything and travel around the world. I’m not telling you to ditch all your technology and live in a cave. I’m simply saying, don’t lose touch with the most amazing part of this

planet: nature. Keep your comforts for home and make time for a little adventure. Whether this is going on a canoe trip in Algonquin instead of an RV in Elora Gorge, climbing a mountain, or visiting a continent without planning every detail. We’ve got one life on this planet, and it’s the only planet we’re able to visit, so don’t go putting up walls around your life to keep it out. Technology is fun, but adventure, exploration, and the thrill of discovering something yourself is what really makes you feel alive. As the author Douglas Coupland said, “Adventure without risk is Disneyland.”

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Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Windows 7; a second look Steven R. McEvoy staff reporter

lthough Microsoft has not announced a date for the release of Windows 7, they have said that new operating systems typically come out two years after the official public release of the previous version. If that is the case, Windows 7 should be released by January 2010. However, I have heard unofficially from Microsoft representatives that we will likely see it on computers before Christmas of this year. Until then, I have compiled some information through research and hands-on usage of the Windows 7 beta release, to clear up some misconceptions and highlight some things you may not be aware of. Working full-time in the IT industry has allowed me to stay up-to-date on new technology. As soon as I had the opportunity to download the Windows 7 beta from the Microsoft Developer’s Network website, I jumped at it. I had heard and read many great things about it, but I need to be honest: I like Vista. I know I am a minority there, but I have been using it at home for over two years without a single issue. When Service Pack 1 came out, I was able to keep my computer running without a restart for 78 days. The only issue I ever encountered on Vista was helping friends who had put it on older machines whose hardware was not designed to support it. So initially I looked at Windows 7 as a cosmetic change to try and remarket Vista, and help Microsoft recover from the bad press, but I was greatly mistaken. Windows 7 is based upon the same core engine and design as Vista, but it has been cleaned up, not just cosmetically but also performance-wise. Firstly, it looks like there will be fewer versions of Windows 7 to choose from. Here in North America we will have access to four of the five versions — Starter, Home Premium, Pro, Enterprise, and Ultimate — compared to the seven versions of Vista. Microsoft has also made some changes to its originally planned upgrade but extremely convoluted path.

Now the upgrade path is far more simplified. However, Microsoft officially states that applications that have problems on Vista will still have problems on Windows 7. From my experience and those of testers I know, that is not the case. I know someone who installed Windows 7 on an old Pentium 4 machine with a 1.8 GHz processor with only 512 MB of RAM. It runs faster than XP ever ran on that machine. People who had hardware issues with Vista have them resolved in Windows 7; between Vista and XP drivers, everything now works. Originally, Microsoft was also saying that you could only upgrade to Windows 7 from Vista, but new sources reveal that you will be able to buy an upgrade from XP. However, you will have to do a fresh install, instead of an upgrade. One of the coolest features for users will be location printing. If you’re a mobile user with a laptop, you can assign a default printer based on where you are, be it at work, school, home, or at the parents’. Additionally, you can have rotating desktop pictures, but you can use an RSS feed, like Flickr or other web services, and thus not have to have the pictures stored on your computer. To me, it seems like a lot of thought has gone into the planning and implementation of the changes in this operating system. Overall, from all I have seen, read and heard, Windows 7 will be a great product. It will be the first Microsoft operating system to have lower hardware requirements than its predecessor. This means that with Windows 7, your computer, if currently running Vista, will likely perform faster, and if you’re running XP, will likely require no hardware upgrades. From all the early indications in the tech community, Windows 7 will be a huge hit. Some companies are already planning on these migrations and preparing to push for it, and they all indicate it will run better than Vista and, on some machines, even better than XP. smcevoy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Not only is performance better than Vista, there is a wide array of new features, including better device management and location printing Users can have rotating desktop pictures, from their hard drive or off image-sharing websites (such as Flickr), as well as themes to tweak the appearance.

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

This summer, remember the big H

alomako@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

anada is a strange place; as soon as the weather improves, its citizens head south to the Dominican Republic, Hawaii, Brazil or anywhere else where there is promise of sand, sunshine, and large bodies of water. However, few take health precautions before traveling, consequently increasing the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases such as Hepatitis A, B, and C. Health Canada says that “Scientists have identified six hepatitis viruses,” but A, B, and C are responsible for 90 per cent of all hepatitis cases in Canada. Hepatitis is serious business. It affects the body, by causing an inflammation of the liver. A person can contract Hepatitis A (HAV) through fecal-contaminated food or water, while Hepatitis C (HCV) is spread through contaminated blood products. Hepatitis B (HBV) can be contracted through bodily fluids during sexual

transmission, which is why students should take extra care to protect themselves before traveling abroad. According to Health Canada, about 500,000 people are living with HBV and/or HCV in Canada, which puts them at risk of liver damage or liver cancer, and in potential need of a liver transplant.

The National Digestive Disease Information Clearinghouse (NDDIC) says the symptoms of hepatitis include jaundice, fatigue, abdominal pain, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, low-grade fever, and headaches, although the infected person may not display symptoms of the virus. As such, annual tests and tests

conducted after returning from international travel are of great benefit to limiting the spread of hepatitis. As for prevention, a person can reduce his or her risks of transmitting different hepatitis viruses by following good hygiene, such as practising regular hand washing, refraining from sharing towels, razors, etc., using condoms and contraceptives during sex, and taking government-approved vaccination. The Canadian government offers licensed vaccines for Hepatitis A and B. Unfortunately, because hepatitis vaccinations are considered a travel vaccination, they are not covered by UHIP. I am well aware that Canada doesn’t get the best slice of the geographic pie in terms of weather, so don’t muck up the country by bringing back hepatitis from your wild spring term out of the country.

paul collier

Wael Elsweisi staff reporter

A revolutionary 3-in-1 pill

Heart diseases and strokes continue to kill thousands of Canadians every year. In fact, they are the second and third most common causes of death in Canada, respectively. A new study could revolutionize our ability to prevent these medical ailments. The study found that when a combination of blood-pressure medications, Aspirin, and cholesterol-lowering medication was taken in one pill called

Polycap, risk factors for heart disease and stroke were reduced by 50 per cent. In other words, the 3-in-1 Polycap pill is as effective as taking three separate pills for the above conditions. “People could take a pill a day and, literally, keep the doctor away,” said study author Salim Yusuf of McMaster University. The study was conducted with 2,053 people in India between the ages of 45 and 80 who had at least one risk factor for heart disease, such as TypeII diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, smoking, and high cholesterol. The Polycap pill was found to lower

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blood pressure by the same extent as those who took blood-pressure drugs alone. Anti-clotting effects were the same between those who took the polypill and those who just took Aspirin. Bad cholesterol was lowered by 23 per cent in Polycap users, versus 28 per cent in those who took the cholesterol medication separately. The study is published in The Lancet. More on the wonders of caffeine

Having a cup of coffee does more than just help you prepare for exams.

It can also lessen the pain associated with working out. In fact, many bikers and runners are known to gulp down a cup of coffee before heading out for their exercise. A study conducted by the University of Illinois involved 25 college-aged males who were divided into two groups. One group was for those who consumed very little to no caffeine every day, and the other for those who consumed daily caffeine amounts equivalent to three to four cups of coffee. One hour before exercise, participants were given either

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a pill containing as much caffeine as that in three to four cups of coffee, or a placebo. Data was collected on participants’ oxygen consumption, heart rate, and work rate, as well as their perception of quadriceps muscle pain, at regular intervals during exercise. “We’ve shown that caffeine reduces pain reliably, consistently during cycling, across different intensities, across different people, different characteristics,” said study author Robert Motl. The study is published in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism. — With files from The Globe and Mail and MSNBC News welsweisi@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

From warrior to professional

sports editor

Above: Spooner stands at centre ice between whistles, waiting for the play to begin. Below: Spooner evades defencemen on a break away and takes a shot on net.

oug Spooner, a Masters student in political science and long time varsity hockey player with the Warriors, has left the world of university sports behind and made it to the pro league. On March 12, Spooner flew out to Victoria, B.C. to join the East Coast Hockey League (ECHL) as a member of the California-based Ontario Reign. The team travels internationally and holds affiliations with many other league teams such as the Los Angeles Kings. “My first game was on the 13th,” Spooner explained in his interview with Imprint. “I flew into Victoria, and in true Waterloo hockey spirit, the airport lost my bags.” Although he was forced to borrow Reign’s gear for the team’s morning skate, his equipment arrived at 4:30 p.m. that day, giving Spooner plenty of time before his 7:00 p.m. premier on the pro scene. “Even on the way back home, I’d packed my gear so I could skate while I was in town. They lost both of my sticks,” said Spooner. “Really, it doesn’t even bother me anymore.” Spooner’s bad luck with airports goes back to his final season with Warrior hockey, when the men’s team, coming home from their trip to Europe, lost a large chunk of their luggage and were forced to postpone two league games this past January. Despite his various mishaps with travel, Spooner’s headlong plunge into a professional hockey career is impressive to say the least. “I’ve missed three weeks of school, leaving in the middle of March. My profs really helped me out,” Spooner said. “Obviously, I had to come back

to present my Masters paper and I’m not sure I’ll get much credit participation wise, but I still managed, even on the road.” Spooner’s Masters paper is on Olympics’ security; using lessons from Munich, Atlanta, and Beijing and applying them to the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. Despite his plans to continue to travel for hockey over the coming months, Spooner has not given up on his academic endeavours. “I’m pretty sure that the guys on the team think I’m a total nerd,” Spooner said. “We’ve had a few busy weeks

“

to take my schooling further,” said Spooner. “Though I’m not entirely sure what I want to do just yet.” The shift between the OUA and the ECHL was surprisingly painless for Spooner, who was fortunate enough to have the current Reign’s coach Karl Taylor as his Warrior hockey coach in his first year at the school. Even after Taylor left the team, Brian Bourque, who was Taylor’s assistant in Spooner’s first year, took up the position as UW’s head coach for men’s hockey. “Their coaching style is pretty similar,” said Spooner. “It really made the transition a lot easier.”

Yeah, I’ve got other educational goals, and I’ve figured out that there’s more than enough time to take my schooling further. — Doug Spooner

with lots of games and not much chance for down time, so I ended up studying all the time on the bus.” Between playing as many as 7 games in 18 days — where Ontario University Athletics only has teams play twice weekly — and the constant traveling required for the ECHL’s whopping 72 game schedule, Spooner still maintains the importance of his education. “I bought a printer with my first pay cheque,” he said. “That way I could print off articles, even on the road.” Even as he shifts his attention to professional hockey, Spooner doesn’t feel that his Masters is the end of his academic career. “Yeah, I’ve got other educational goals, and I’ve figured out that even on the road, there’s more than enough time

“

Caitlin McIntyre

Though Spooner is the latest member of Warrior hockey to make it to the big leagues, he is not alone. As he made his way to the California team Spooner joined UW alumni Ryan MacGregor, graduate of UW in 2007 and in the pro leagues for two years, and Shawn German, who graduated in 2006 and is in his third professional year. With his classes done for the year, no exams for his program, and a Masters essay due by August, Spooner is hopeful of a chance to join the Reign in their playoff season. Whether it’s with the Reign, or with another pro team in the league, Spooner is confident in his prospects for the future both academically and on the ice. cmcintyre@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Courtesy Doug Spooner

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Let’s talk about real sports issues

After years of deliberation the Hockey Hall of Fame will induct women in 2010 staff reporter

hile driving to Waterloo on Wednesday I listened to my favourite show on the FAN 590, The Director’s Chair with Doug Farraway. This is one of my favourite shows on the FAN because while so many other hosts talk specifically about sports and the technicalities and all the names in each sport, Farraway makes an effort to discuss real issues within the world of sport. For instance, last week he discussed the issues surrounding sports betting. Wednesday’s topic of conversation was great women hockey players. The female guest on the program was the President of the Hockey Hall of Fame (HHOF), Jeff Denomme. The discussion was focused

“

continued: “[This] creates fair conditions for all candidates while reinforcing that the existing basis for selection and requisite standards of excellence be applied equally to both genders.” While discussing the induction of women with Denomme, Farraway asked why it had taken so long for the HHOF to recognize women when many international halls have included women for years. Denomme responded to this query with the fact that the hall only started a committee to discuss the issue in 1998, after the first appearance of women’s hockey at the Olympics. At this first meeting there was agreement to include women in the HHOF. The debate over the years was over the ballot process, possible separate categories, and selection committee. In 2010, women’s hockey will have been a part of the line up for four Olympic games.

There are not two tiers of players, women will be inducted alongside men in the great hall. — Jeff Denomme

on the ratification of By Law 21 on March 31, 2009, which allows women hockey players to be inducted into the HHOF in 2010. Denomme began the interview by stating that this is “very good news.” He was then quick to express that the women selected will not be inducted under a separate category from the men. “A separate category suggests a sense of ‘catch up’ is needed in women’s hockey when compared to men and this is not the case…There are not two tiers of players, women will be inducted alongside men in the great hall,” said Denomme. In a press release, the Chairman of the HHOF, Bill Hay, said “Men and women ought not to compete directly against each other for limited places of Honoured Membership.” Hay

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Alicia Boers

Because of this, there is a great body of work for the HHOF committee to choose from. Without a history of greatness in women’s hockey, there cannot be a selection of great women to be inducted, and with the Olympics and the rise of international women’s hockey, this history now exists. In 2010 up to four men and two women will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame alongside one another. The requirements are the same for each gender. “Today’s standard of excellence for honoured membership is to achieve greatness at an elite level over a prolonged period of intense competition.” aboers@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

What’s the future of Wilfrid Laurier’s Olympic-sized swimming pool? Will UW be getting a considerable upgrade soon? Check out Imprint Sports & Living this Spring 2009 for updates on this and other campus sporting news.

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Crossword

Paul Collier

16 18

Across

48. Wordplay

21. Cattle plague (medieval)

1. Sex On The Beach ingredient

49. U.S. aviation regulator (acronym)

25. Warm-water rays

9. Loathes

50. U.S. zed

27. Experiences briefly

23 26

15. “Teddy” Bear origin

51. Good source of potassium

28. Doddering

16. Nonsense

54. Kooky

17. Threw the book at

55. Line remover

18. Invent

29. Infest

31 34 37

29 33

19. Water closets

59. Price-monger

37. Picture takers

20. Foamed or frothed

60. Pants

38. All is not as it _______

22. In ___ course

61. Become bony

39. Residence occupants

23. Male friend (French)

62. Most wet

24. Mongrel

Down

41. One who flees from persecution

25. Utter feebly

1. ______mite; floor formation

42. Cosmic impacts 43. Garden pavilion

2. Plates with Cr

46. Most inferior

3. Female protagonist

48. Deflect a lunge

4. Ayes and ____

51. Gripe (informal)

52. Tyrannical Roman emperor

53. Eager

31. Beyond the ___

5. Google’s lifeblood

32. Assertions (law)

6. Cooking vessels

34. Salvia 36. “You ____ heard nothin’ yet!” 37. Purgative 40. Multi-episode storyline

7. Get ready (abbr.)

44. “I think, therefore I am”

12. Fallopian tube

45. Former Yugoslavian

13. CVs

47. Units of current

14. The city that never _____

7 3

5 2 4 8 3 6 2 1 8 7 9 9 6 1 3 7 1 2 5 2 6 8 1 3 2

Cryptogram Iqd fbbiy bj dxwmlizbr lfd pziidf, pwi iqd jfwzi zy ykddi. -Lfzyibivd

7 8 3 2 4 9 6 1 5

4 9 5 1 6 8 3 2 7

6 2 1 7 5 3 8 4 9

8 5 4 9 2 6 1 7 3

3 1 7 5 8 4 9 6 2

9 6 2 3 7 1 4 5 8

March 27 Cryptogram Solution

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t bet what they want. -Madonna

4 14

54 58

S E

56 61

R E

O R

R 44

I D

1 7 9 4 3 5 2 8 6

5 3 6 8 1 2 7 9 4

52 57

2 4 8 6 9 7 5 3 1

46 49

March 27 Sudoku Solution 9

Sudoku

11. Pandemic retrovirus

58. Carry with difficulty

43. Gawks

March 27 Crossword Solution

8. Victim of sexual temptation 54. Not absolute (Latin) 56. Downhill, cross country 9. BBC sitcom Black_____ 10. Copulated

30. Sprays in self-defence

Of 33. ____ and 30. ___

57. Lacy nightgown

28. Someone who leaves

35. UW’s forgotten faculty (acronym)

26. Bloke

23 26

32 36

63 66

Logic Problem By Bogdan Petrescu

A person has 127 coins, and 7 bags. The problem. How can this person put the coins in the bags in a way, such that, if someone asks for a specific amount anywhere between 1 and 127 coins, he may give this by giving whole bags rather than individual coins?

March 27 Logic Problem Solution 70 km — the time it takes the two trains to collide is one hour. The bird travels at 70 km/h, so it travels a total distance of 70 km.

Campus Bulletin UPCOMING Friday, April 3, 2009 Your Kitchener Goodwill has recently expanded. Come discover the improvements we have made to serve you better. Fun events all day, ceremony begins at 2 p.m. at 1348 Weber Street, E, Kitchener. Saturday, April 4, 2009 Engineering Jazz Band â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Respect To Time end-of-term charity gig at 7 p.m., Conrad Grebel Great Hall, room 1111. Admission with all proceeds benefiting Habitat for Humanity. www.engjazzband.com. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bridges that Unite: Exploring Canadaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Global Leadership Roleâ&#x20AC;? presented by AGA Khan Foundation, at the Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Museum, 10 King Street, W., Kitchener. www.bridgesthatunite. ca for info/ticket reservation. Sunday, April 5, 2009 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Northern Reflections by Vic Braunâ&#x20AC;? at Rotunda Gallery, Kitchener City

Teach English Overseas TESOL/TESL Teacher Training Certification Courses â&#x20AC;˘ Intensive 60-Hour Program â&#x20AC;˘ Classroom Management Techniques â&#x20AC;˘ Detailed Lesson Planning â&#x20AC;˘ ESL Skills Development â&#x20AC;˘ Comprehensive Teaching Materials â&#x20AC;˘ Interactive Teaching Practicum â&#x20AC;˘ Internationally Recognized Certificate â&#x20AC;˘ Teacher Placement Service â&#x20AC;˘ Money Back Guarantee Included â&#x20AC;˘ Thousands of Satisfied Students

OXFORD SEMINARS 1-800-269-6719/416-924-3240

www.oxfordseminars.ca

Hall, with open reception from 1 to 4 p.m. For more info 519-741-3400, ext 3381. Monday, April 6, 2009 Single and Sexy auditions â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one day only â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4 to 8 p.m. at Humanities Theatre. This is a paying gig. For more info call Sandra at ext 36358 or sc2gibso@ uwaterloo.ca. Tuesday, April 7, 2009 2009 Community Connections â&#x20AC;&#x201C; get information you need about resources in Waterloo Region. An event for persons with disabilities, their families, caregivers and professsionals. St. Maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Catholic Secondary School, 1500 Block Line Road, Kitchener from 5 to 8 p.m. For info call 519-578-3660, ext 2325. Wednesday, April 8, 2009 Islamic Information Booth â&#x20AC;&#x201C; SLC Great Hall, Vendor Ally from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Books, DVDs, free copy of The Holy Quran available. Visit www.uwislam.com or info@uwislam.com. Saturday, April 18, 2009 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Music in the Galleryâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New Vibes Jazz Quartet â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at 7:30 p.m. Homer Watson & Gallery, Kitchener. For info/ tickets call 519-748-4377, ext. 224. Friday, April 24, 2009 CFUW Book Sale today and April 25 at First United Church, King and William. For more info please call 519-7405249. Saturday, April 25, 2009 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Arts, Business, Creativity: The ABCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of Successâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one day interactive workshop providing business training and information. Register/visit www.artsbusinesscreativity.com or 519-741-2984 by April 21, 2009. Sunday, April 26, 2009 UW WUSC presents Bike for AIDS, a four hour bike marathon at Columbia Icefields from 12 to 4 p.m. We are looking for participants and sponsors for this event. For more info/registration www.uwsrp.ca. See you there! Sunday, May 3, 2009 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Walk to Remember 2009â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Bereaved Families of Ontario-Midwestern Region. 9 a.m. registration at Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre. Lots to

do from silent auction to childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s activities and prizes! For info 519-8948344 or www.bfomidwest.org. Thursday, May 7, 2009 Hear the Music Symposium: learn about noise-induced hearing loss and how to protect yourself while still enjoying the music you love. Keynote speaker Dr. Marshall Chasin, audiologist to some of Canadaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most wellknown musical artists. 7 p.m. Conrad Grebel. For ticket info 519-744-6811 or akafadar@chs.ca.

UW RECREATION COMMITTEE UW Recreation Committee events are open to all employees of the University of Waterloo. Register by emailing admmail.uwaterloo.ca. Tuesday, April 14: Sabbaticals 101 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12:05 to 12:55 p.m. at Flex Lab, LIB 329 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; reduce the stress, ease the transition and increase the joy of your next sabbatical. Tuesday, April 28: Feng Shui Discussion â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12:05 to 12:55, MC 5136 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; topic: Feng Shui and Ways to Help Your Finances. Last Tuesday of every second month, April 28, June 23. Wednesday, April 29: De-cluttering and Downsizing: A Fresh Start for Spring with Deb Fox (as seen on Province Wide) â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12:05 to 12:55 p.m., MC, room 2065. Spring 2009 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; TBA: Discover Trails in Waterloo Region ; E-Bikes: What are they all about? ; Preplanning Your Funeral by Erb & Good Funeral Home.

LIVE & LEARN LECTURES-WPL Lectures from 7 to 9 p.m. at Waterloo Public Library, 35 Albert Street, Waterloo. For info 519-886-1310, ext 124. Tuesday, April 7, 2009 Saying uncle: speaking under torture or coercion. Tuesday, April 21, 2009 Necromedia.

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ONGOING MONDAYS Gambling can ruin your life. Gamblers Anonymous, 7 p.m. at St Marks, 825 King Street, W, basement. FRIDAYS Season of Argentine Tango lessons in Waterloo starts May 2009 at the Princess Twin, Waterloo at 7 p.m. Beginners and advanced lessons with dancing from 9 to 11:30 p.m. (Tango, Swing, Salsa) Call 519-581-7836 or casadeltango@yahoo.ca.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Crown Ward Status: attention students who are/were Crown Wards needed to work with large, Provincially funded transdiscliplinary team (including UW students) dedicated to helping current Crown Ward youth. Please contact Kelly Anthony at 519-888-4567, ext 32802. Paid position. Excellent exchange opportunity for UW undergraduate students to participate in the Ontario/Jiangsu Student

Exchange Program in China for the 2009-2010 academic years. The OJS Program provides scholarships to successful applicants. For additional information and application form/deadlines contact Andreea Ciucurita, Waterloo International, Needles Hall, 1101, room 1103, ext 35995 or by email: aciucurita@uwaterloo.ca. Tune in to Sound 100.3 FM radio to hear DJ Cool with lots of music, entertainment, helpful info, weather and more. www.soundfm.ca >listen or www.ckmsfm.ca. CIGI has an exciting line-up of public events for March. Check out website for full lecture listings. All events are free, but RSVP early as seating is limited. www.cigionline.org. Heart and Stroke Row for Heart â&#x20AC;&#x201C; learn to row this summer while you raise funds for life-saving heart disease and stroke research. The eight week program begins June 22 to August 15, with the end fun-filled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Row for Heart Regattaâ&#x20AC;? at Laurel Creek. For times/ fee, etc call 519-571-9600 or cgies@ hsf.on.ca.

Classified BED & BREAKFAST Colonial Creekside â&#x20AC;&#x201C; indoor pool, ensuite bathrooms, private in-room dining, two to three acre city property, 10 minutes from campus. Ideal for weddings/parents visiting/graduate students for longer term stays. Special rates available. 519-886-2726 ; www.bbcanada.com/11599.html.

HELP WANTED

Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Support person needed for 15-yearold boy with autism. Support required for summer day camp programs, outings in the community and within the home. Must be creative with activity planning, altruistic in your desire to work with a special needs person and must have own vehicle. Flexible weekend and evening hours also available. Laurelwood subdivision. $13/hour plus .40/km. Call Deborah 519-7461584. Summer job â&#x20AC;&#x201C; work at the beach! Kazwear Swimwear has full and parttime management and staff positions available in Grand Bend, Port Stanley and Bayfield. Competitive wage and bonuses. Contact: resumes@kazwearswimwear.ca or visit our website at www.kazwearswimwear.ca for job opportunities.

SERVICES Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing, $50/hour. Five business

day turnaround. Neal Moogk-Soulis, ncmoogks@uwaterloo.ca.

PERSONALS Egg donor needed â&#x20AC;&#x201C; married couple seeking kind individual ages 20-32 years of age. Attributes: caucasian, healthy. Compensation for expenses incurred. Reply to: vaa5866@gmail.com.

WANTED Used books wanted for CFUW Book Sale, Friday, April 24 and Saturday, April 25, 2009 at First United Church, King and William. Drop off donations at church (back door) Wednesday, April 22 and Thursday, April 23. No textbooks please. For more information please call 519-740-5249. Opportunity to enrich your life and that of a special child. Please volunteer for our in-home program to help our autistic 8-year-old son. Call Georgiana at 519-741-8003.

HOUSING

Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Joanne at 519-746-1411 for more details. Graduate housing: on-campus suites and apartments available now and May 1 at St. Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College. Apply online: www.stpauls.uwaterloo.ca. For more information call 519-885-1460, ext 212. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 519-725-5348.

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Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

Ask Shaniqua

Comics & Distractions

SPECIAL FAREWELL LIGHTNING ROUND!

distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Oh honeys, I’ve had such a nice time answerin’ all yo’ questions. You people and your sad little lives make me feel so much better about myself. So I was telling mama ‘bout how I was finishin’ up my column an’ all, and how I wasn’t gonna be able to spread Shaniqua Magic into your lives, and she said I should do my last column just like her friend NayNay did her bachelorette party — cram as many people in as possible before I’m off limits. Here is the Shaniqua Farewell Lightning Round Shaniqua, will you go out with me?

What are your survival strategies for exams?

By Keriece Harris and Veronika Zaretski “Sleep all the time, just forget the exams until they start” Yuto Maeda 3B Engineering “Sleep, books, some video games once in a while, studying is too hard.” Derek Thompson 3b Science

Get ‘cho head out yo’ ass. Shaniqua, last night I think I pulled too hard and now I can’t get it up. Help!!! Christ boy, get a hooker or something, or at the very least pick up some Lubriderm. That shit is like $2.99 at Walgreen’s. Shaniqua, I caught my boy with another woman, what do I do? I’ve got an idea involving sack hair and rubber cement. We’ll talk later. Shaniqua, my girlfriend likes it rough, but she always end up hurting me. How do I tell her without seeming like less of a man? Sex is a competition — up your game.

“I go to the library with friends.” Ingrid Liu 1B Science “Defeating the Nazis....That’s a computer game.” Steve DeThomasis 3A Applied Health Sciences

“Lots of beer, and sex, and pepto bismol, and horses, and hot tubs....all at Bomber.“ Chad Sexington, Scott Kankin 3B Engineering, 3A Engineering

Shaniqua, I have a girlfriend but I really want to try fooling around with another guy. How do I tell her? Offer her a beefcake man-sandwich. She gets twice what she likes and you get some cock, too. Shaniqua, I slept with this totally regrettable, disgusting guy on St. Patrick’s day, and I have to see him in social settings still. What do I do? Lie through your mutha-fuckin’ teeth about how he’s a creep and is always obsessively hitting on you. That way if he tells someone you hooked up it just seems like a part of his fantasy. Shaniqua, my boyfriend says he wants to see me make out with another girl. Does this make me bi? No sugar, it makes you stupid. Shut your mouth and save the word for the real bisexuals out there. Shaniqua, my girlfriend dumped me because I’m always in the gym trying to buff up. Is there anything wrong with that? You got Bigorexia. Google it. Then soap up and come to mama, beefcake. Dear Shaniqua, I’m thinking of piercing my foreskin. Good idea or bad? Do everyone you may ever sleep with a favour and don’t. Trust Shaniqua on this one. Shaniqua, I’m a squirter, and I feel like guys I sleep with fetishize me. How do I make them like me for me? Keep yo’ damn legs closed! Christ almighty child you are stupid. Shaniqua, I’m a recent immigrant with a poor grasp of English here at UW, but I only want to date Canadian born white women. Can you help me? Mmmm, this is Shaniqua, sugar, not Carrie Bradshaw. My scrap of advice: work on your English before you ask them out. But since you don’t want none of Shaniqua, Shaniqua don’t want none of you. Shaniqua, I gave cold sores to my boyfriend, how do I tell him it’s my fault? I haven’t had an outbreak in years before this. You don’t tell him. If you have an outbreak, say he gave it to you. Shaniqua, why you so fabulous? Now there is one question even Aunty Shaniqua can’t answer, sugar.

Guest Comic

Alicia Boers

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, April 3, 2009

POSTSCRIPT

GRAHAM MOOGK-SOULIS

IMPRESSION, BY JIM & LAN

LOOSE SCREWS

GEOFFREY LEE & SONIA LEE

IN THE WEEDS KURTIS ELTON

BY MATT FIG, BRANDON FORLER, AND KEEGAN TREMBLAY

RUNAWAY RINGTOSS

PETER N. TRINH