Volume
Faculty fails
---
.
for
Although allowed to criticize procedures for the setting of faculty salaries at the university board of governors meeting may 4, the faculty association has failed in its bid to obtain an 11.2 percent faculty pay riase. The board of governors has instead accepted administration president Burt Matthews march proposal that faculty salaries increase only eight percent. Part of the difference between the faculty’s request and the board’s final offer arose from what the faculty association claimed was its lack of access to the university’s budgetary information - even though in its salary negotiations, the faculty association has proceeded on the assumption that by june 30 the university’s surplus account was to be over 2 million dollars. The association said the difference between 8 and 11.2 percent is less than one percent of the university’s operating budget. Later the salary committee said it was told the university was short of money and salary increases for faculty of more than eight percent would affect academic programs. The salary committee resented the suggestion that they were not acting responsibly, again claiming they did not have access to budgetary information. Ontario university affairs minister White recently stated at an Ontario confederation of university faculty associations convention that because universities are supported by ’ public funds. information on use of money will
Geoff Massey 2 design for the incorporation of’ low Cost housing in to h‘igh way structures is a possibility in the fight for economical housing. be made public. In siding with , See story page 3. against
1’
friday
14 may
71
I
Salary negotiations
Y=-.
12 number
the association
Matthews the board
I
7.2 percent raise
has apparently ignored the association’s charge of collusion among Ontario university presidents in setting this year’s faculty pay raise at about eight percent. It is estimated that seven of twelve Ontario universities have frozen increases at the eight percent level. The board has offered 3.8* percent across-theboard and 4.2 “merit” increases, though last year’s agreed merit formula has unilaterally been abandoned by Matthews.
Motions
The faculty association has contended constraints were put on its salary committee by settlements reached at other universities with weaker salary committees. The association’s committee felt salaries and working conditions should be settled here and not tied to settlements arranged elsewhere. From the point of view of the faculty as expressed in the faculty association newsletter it is difficult to determine the reasons
for the board of governors’ action on may 4-either money is tight within the university or the board is responding to minister of university affairs John White’s statement that the universities will have to tighten their budgets. In either case the association wants “external counciliation” supervised by the provincial minister of labour if the faculty and board cannot reach mutual salary agreement.
to debaPe sanctions
Two motions put to the university senate at its may 20 meeting may have important consequences for university of Waterloo students. The motions-which arise from the senate executive-reaffirm the senate’s right of academic sanctions against any student who refuses to pay his non-tuition fees, but also requests the board of governors to ask the federation of students to hold a referendum on student wishes for an activity fee. The effect of the first motion, if passed, would be to continue recognizing the compulsory nature of the university activity fee collected and paid to the federation by the board of governors. 1 Other non-tuition fees affected by this motion and which could be refused by students if the motion fails include parking control and library fines, athletic fees, residence fees and any “other fee not specifically for tuition. Federation vice-president Carl Sulliman said he is confident the first motion will be passed overwhelmingly. “A negative vote would have staggering ramifications in the non-tuition areas of student services,” he said, “and could lead to a collapse of all rules. ” Sulliman said that while it was proper for the senate to affirm the just nature of a compulsory activity fee, he expressed deep concern over senate’s involvement in an area traditionally exclusive to the federation and the board of governors. Sulliman charged the motion requesting the board
to ask the federation for a referendum concerning the fee constituted tampering in the federation’s-internal affairs. The senate move follows action of several dozen graduating engineering students who’ have withheld their activity fee payment. Whether or not they are forced to pay the fee in order to get their degrees may depend on the senate’s action may 20. Administration president Burt Matthews has stated “the university has agreed to collect student fees, and if a group of students disagrees with the operation of that policy there are ways within the student organization to express their opinion.” In all, the senate meeting will deal with 15 executive recommendations, approval of convocation degrees and will move into confidential session for a matter not revealed.
tfelp- clean
up
Waterloo’s own people’s park is presently being used as a sand lot playing area by children. Located between University avenue and the coop on Phillip street, the vacant lot is a speculative venture of Major Holdings limited. A group of students and interested community are concerned over the broken glass and trash that the children play in. Tomorrow they are asking all people to show up and clean the field for the safety of its users.
_
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Fine system
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condemned In-a letter sent to Paul Wiens, secretary of the library committee, Carl Sulliman, vice-president of the student federation, condemned “the present system of borrowing rights and responsibilities of the library.” Present procedures for enforcing loan regulations for faculty and students are : “Faculty: In the case of faculty a reminder requesting that material be returned to the library at the end of’ the term is sent one month before the term ends. At the end of the term, a notice is sent from the library informing the faculty ,member of materials due. This is followed if necessary, by a second notice, and a phone call. If materials are not returned at this point, the library contacts the faculty library representative, or, in some cases, the department chairman who is asked to exert pressure to have material returned. r Finally, the offending faculty member is sent an invoice covering the replacement cost of materials borrowed. Where materials held by the faculty for over two weeks are requested by another borrower, the library immediately sends a notice requesting the return of the material. If necessary, the request is followed up by phone calls to the faculty member concerned
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and by appeals to the faculty library - representative to see that the requested materials are returned. When it is known the faculty member is to be away from the campus for an extended period of time, the library attempts to recover the material before he leaves, or, failing that, requests the departmental secretary to return the books to the library. Students: To recover overdue materials from students the library sends out a first notice notifying the student of overdue, materials and of the amount owing in fines. If necessary, a second notice followed by a warning letter is sent. If the material is not returned, the student is billed for the replacement value of the borrowed materials. Failing a response at this point, the student’s borrowingIprivileges are withheld. As a final sanction, the university can withhold transcripts of marks until fines owing are paid. Where the student returns overdue materials, but does not pay fines, borrowing privileges are withdrawn when the accumulated fines exceed ten dollars. ” Apparently the library does not have a policy of withdrawing borrowing privileges from delinquet faculty. -see Library, page 3 .
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Housing I/
debuted
Low cost housing projects as a solution to the growing crisis of housing for the poor was the ,primary topic of the housing forum held on campus Wednesday night. The forum was sponsored by the Canadian housing design council who had invited as speakers architect Geoffrey Massey from Vancouver, Peter Barnard from Toronto and Albert Rose, director of the school of social work at U of T. Massey’s firm, Erickson/Massey designed the Canadian pavilion at .expo ‘70 Osaka, and have previously won awards for other large projects. He talked of the environmental problems involved when massive housing projects are planned. Valuable farm land is eaten up and the disease of urbanity spreads. The main drawback of lowcost housing lies within the institutionalization of such projects. He feels that this should be eliminated by providing space within private projects with rents geared to income, subsidized by government agencies. Massey noted that costly land is now in use for transportation corridors. In medieval Europe, bridges served as the foundation for houses and shops. This idea in reverse was rejuvenated by his firm. - They developed a design by which bridges and overhead expressways could also provide badly needed housing by inserting units into the foundation. Massey concluded that there is a great need for further research in design innovation in \ housing. Barnard is an engineer who has
Library *continued
from
gone on to research in urban design. He gave a well organized, precise talk on the technological aspect ‘of urban renewal. He said that technology is both the servant and master of social and design innovation. The objectives of technology should be to lower cost, improve total performance, increase construction speed, and improve environment. He discussed the different possible systems of construction and concluded that in the future the best solution would be to combine conventional methods of construction with the use of ready-made componi ents. He also stressed the importance of rehabilitation of existing buildings versus new construction. Rose, a’ sociologist, “brought up the concept of social innovation that implies new approaches which will improve living standards. Good housing in terms of adequecy can be provided easily to everyone. But as adequacy is provided expectations. rise and the poor are no longer passive recipients. Rose advocates participatory tenants’ associations in all housing projects. The poor need the opportunity to assume some form of responsibility in order to pull \ them from the apathy that is prevalent in slum areas. In reference *to actual construction Rose said that the cities were badly planned in the first place and public housing is not the answer to the problem.
inequality page
2
The library committee set up a , subcommittee to look into the matter. The two major areas of contention are the length of loan periods ,, and sanctions for enforcing loan periods. John ,Battye, student rep on the library committee, suggested a uniform loan period of two weeks for books and two days for periodicals for all categories of library users. He feels there is “no reason why one category of users should have its access to library materials limited by the more extensive borrowing privileges enjoyed by another category of users. , Heather Webster, as member of the student council, had discussed student problems with many students who had expressed a recurring concern over the difficulties and delays experienced in obtaining library material which had to be recalled from faculty members. Filling out a request form seems to be a futile exercise. She noted that faculty now feel they can keep a book for a whole term with no real obligation to return it when requested. Bill Watson, chief librarian, does not believe that a uni’form loan regulation would properly serve the varying needs of the different categories of library users. J.G. Smith, science faculty rep, i’ feels that a two week loan period would inhibit faculty in their work at the university. A suggestion that with materials subject to recall after two weeks, a two week loan period had in effect been established, was countered with a re-emphasizing of the delays experienced by students requesting such materials. Although no agreement could be reached on the length of loan periods for books, the subcommittee agreed on a uniform loan period of 48 hours for all periodicals.’ Since no agreement could be reached they p”assed a motion that books must be physically returned to the library for renewal at the end ‘of four months. All suggestions raised for en-
I
forcing loan periods were turned down. Garnisheeing wages of offending faculty members would require a court order in each case. Publishing names of offenders in the chevron and gazette could cause a lawsuit. A security deposit by users was rejected some years ago by the business office because of the bookkeeping involved. Personal contact by library staff usually has little effect. In the case of’ faculty, an appeal to some authority in the department might embarrass the member into returning materials. . In a statement distributed to members, Watson proposed, “that the fine system be extended to apply to- all categories of borrowersand that non-payment of fines would result in cancellation of library priviledges. This would call for the support of the president, vice-president, academic and the deans.” A motion to accept in principal the sanction of fines to all categories of users was deferred until more information could be obtained from the university of Guelph and Simon Fraser concerning their loan systems.
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“The Last of the Red Hot Lovem”, starring Jack Weston, Rosemary Prinz, Ginger Flick and Marg Redmond is playing at the _Royal Alexandra Theater until may 22. The author has incorporated all the trappings of a typical situation comedy ; it , has the cliches, the predictable punch lines and I a threadbareplot. Neil Simon, author of such farces as “The Odd’ Couple,” “Barefoot in the Park,” and “Promises Promises” has contrived_,to depict the equivocated sexual- mores of middle-class society. Barney Cashman (Jack Weston) a’sea food restaurant owner of mundane existence“Life’s not. only been very unkind to me, it goes-out of its way to ignore me”involveshimself in three attempts at extra-marital affairs, all in his mother’s apartment. Elaine Navazio (Ro2emary Prinz), an , attractive and seemingly promiscuous woman whom Barney propositioned in his restaurant, is the first of -the three. Her directness embrasses Barney, whose fantasies had anticipated a coy woman, who in all decency would, in an aG tempt to protect her virtue, protest, only to become so over:, whelmed by his masculine charm - that she would finally succumb to his passion. However, Elaine comes to get laid, not to indulge Barney’s fantasies. A&Barney’s second encounter is with an aspiring young actress, Bobbi Michele. Bobbi, played by Ginger Flick, derives great pleasure from vividly describing her misadventures with men who have attempted to seduce her, and her continuous verbal flow allows Barney no opportunity to launch into his anticipated seduction. Jeanette Fisher (Marg- Redmond), his wife’s best friend,. is the ‘chosen victim for Barney’s
. last attempt. She regrets having come, keeps her distance, and pro. ceeds to expound at great length on the’wickedness of Barney’s intentions. Her life is geared to preparing for her suicide, which we learn ij prompted by the-fact that her husband is having an affair with another woman; and so in his last effort Barney remains unsuccessful. The opening of the play was weak, with Barney walking ner-vously around in his mother’s apartment. It was somewhat reminiscent of the TV series “Love Amj erican Style”, -and the audience responded accordingly with can-r ned laughter. B The acting was good though, particularly that of Jack Weston. Weston, a veteran of the screen, has starred in “The Thomas Crown Affair” and “Wait Until Dark”-, among others. In his partrayai of Barney- Cashman as a stereotype of a middle-class Jewish/fish restaurant owner in New York, he is’credible. The character detail is accurate, bringing out all the ideosyncracies one might expect, including the perfuming of his hands to take away the fishsmell. Simon has thrown in a number of serious comments; quite out of keeping with situational comedy, -but these were quickly followed with comic relief. Whenever an opportunity for genuine audience involvement might have arisen, it’ was immediately dispelled by slap-stick humour. The play was directed by Robert Moore and produced under the auspices of Saint-Subber ’ With its weak opening, predictable ending and mediocre content I which elicited only nervous laughi ter, thisplay lacked the guts to evoke any new insights or to make any substantial comment on the 1 comedy of contemporary life.
by Mel chevron
staff
Most people are familiar -with tential minister, Here was a fast Jules Fieffer the cartoonist, who moving, exceptionally funny, and satirizes hypocracy in contemporhard hitting scene. ary society. In ‘Little Murders” he The last scene of the movie turns to movies as a vehicle for is also a scene with deep and his satire. meaningful insight, however the The format of the movies is es- humor is somewhat black. sentially the same as his cartoons. But also most of the other scenIn fact, what is presented on the es are overly long and tend to drag screen is a group of loosely con- at times. The points he tries to nected skits which strongly resmake are ‘often drawn--out, beaten emble a series of Fieffer cartoons. to death, and then stretched a litSome scenes stand out more tle more. There are those who emphatically than others. For ex- claim that this drawing out of vara-mple the marriage scene in which ious points was a purposeful-draElliot Gould as Alfred marries matic technique. I, however, aMarcia Rodd as Patsy with Dongree with Shakespeare when -he , ald Sutherland as the. first eris- - wrote “brevity is.the soul of wit”.
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LONDON (GINS) - Full finanWhite said his department is trycial records of the province’s fouring to devise a system of finan- ~ teen’ university’s will be made av- cial records that would make comailable to any member of the-pubparisons of various universities easier. In Ontario, he said, the lit according to university affairs czar, John White. . government is providing 750 milWhite was replying to a delegate lion dollars this year to universiat the second,annual conference of ties. the Ontario confederation of uni“Whoever makes the funds avversity faculty -associations, who ailable imposes-. L restraints,” he said he had been denied access to I said. other universities’financial 3ecWhite said that _by controlling ords. -White said the records would be spending “we cannot play fair with made available through the clerk,: the tax paying public but still have and acof the provincial legislature in Tor- - some real break-throughs complishments. ” onto.
pa&dale mall albert & hazel I POST OFFICE Mon. - Sat. 9 am - 6pm .
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Canada ctinsus ‘Count
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This year two questionnaires will be distributed. There will be a J short questionnaire, which will be On june 1, Canada’s eleventh filled out byi two thirds of all census will be taken, an undertakheads of households. It contains ing that will cost about 35 million six questions to be answered sepdollars this year. In Canada/ the arately for each individual in the census is taken on the “de jure” household. There are nine addiprinciple, whereby each person tional questions pertaining to the is counted as belonging to his usual residence itself. The remaining place of residence. For many uni- third of households fill out long versity students this means they forms which consist of the fifteen will be counted as living with their basic questions plus about seventy parents because they are not mainadditional questions on other astaining a residence elsewhere. pects of housing and on education Other students now at school can and income. be counted as living with their Legally, Canadians are requirparents if they think of their par- ed to provide full and accurate inents’ residence as their permanformation. The reason for this is to ent home. assure the reliability of the statisThe BNA act made mandatory tics taken from the census. Howthe taking of the census in 1871 ever, refusal to provide informaand “In every tenth year theretion does not, it seems, usually The basic constitutional after”. lead to charges being laid. Rumreason for the census \in Canada our has it that as a last resort the is to determine representation in Dominion Bureau of Statistics will the federal house of commons. Afsend out Pierre Trudeau to cajole ter each census the seats are reluctant citizens into providing divided among the provinces on the desired information. a basis proportionate to populaThere has been some protest tion. The census also gives a sta- that the questions being asked contistical indication of where can: stitute an invasion of the individadians stand socially and econual’s privacy. However, dominomically. At the same time, there ion bureau of statistics employis an agricultural census and a ees, including the census represmerchandising census. entatives, are the only people who will ever see the questionnaires. This year the census questionaires -will be filled out by the They are subject. to fines and jail sentences if they reveal any (of people themselves. The questions information. It will be left at each household to this confidential is not available to any other govbe filled out, and then mailed ernment department or agency, inback. By allowing people more cluding the police or the courts for time to fill out the questionnaires, legal proceedings. The only exit is hoped they, will be answered ception to this is where a resimore accurately. In rural areas dent may ask for date-of-birth the census representatives will reinformation that he provided turn to pick up the questionnaires, about himself in a past census. as people engaged in agriculture proof of may need additional help in com- This provides acceptable age for people who desire old age ple ting their more detailed quespensions. tionnaires.
The statistics provided by the census are used by many groups of people, for many purposes. They will provide information used in the planning of schools and transportation routes, locating hospitals and designing recreational facilities. Governments use them in establishing policies on health and welfare services, agriculture, urban renewal, and regional economic development. Frequently these statistics are used by researchers in areas <such as economics and sociology. Students can learn about employment and industrial trends and gain information needed for training. This information is also used by business and industry. They can make decisions based on marketing statistics, business trends, and growth rates in particular ar: eas.- Census data is used by companies while planning advertising and sales efforts. Companies considering building new plants in particular areas use census data to gain an indication of the characteristics of the people from which the company’s labour force will be drawn. Because of the advance in computer technology since the last census, the information accumulated in this census can be organized and retrieved in a great variety of different tabulations. Also, this information will be available much more quickly than in previous census, when it sometimes took years for some of the census information to be tabulated, perhaps when it was no longer useful. For individuals engaged in research, this speed and flexibility will be quite valuable. If used properly and well, this undertaking can benefit you and all Canadians, so on june, count yourself in.
7. O.U.P. does often, so does a gambling man (5-l-4) 9. Socially superior gamblers (6) 10. Senior girl? - so feed Mona now (4-2-5) ’ 12. Much of this re love in a play (3) 16. Scared chicken singer sung about (6-4) 17. Liberate and swap for an economit doctrine (4-5) 19. We can’t afford another victory like this one (7) 20. Illegal ending very bad (8) 22. Is Ben’s brother Art king? (6)
‘24. Part 10 across---, holidAy. Part 10 across ---, terminate (3) 26. After the poem mother lost her head coming to the theatre (5) 29. Moon power causes upset diet (4) 31. and 11. Where the shoemaker should be finally (2-4) i A prize of $5 will be awarded for the first correct solution received. Mail solutions, with name and address, to Professor T.H. Qualter, c/o the chevron, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario.
by Barry Brown chevron staff
Across
3. Can I do it? I’m friendly? (3) 8. Where it’s at in a place to apPease (7 ) 10. Bake a dry turnover at dawn /vi [II 11. See 31 down ’ 14. A pitcher at the end of the storm-sewer (4) 15. The Titan swallowed bent tinan island lost (8) 16. After me it’s Tory run half up, but not like that (4-4) 18. Steal the end from the gown (3) \19. Plague stricken use for spiteunstable (11) 21. An unprofessional song (3) 23. View carefully and fail to notice (4-4) 25. A mess at sea - but no pollution? (4-4) 27. To venture,‘if it fails, can be costly (4) 28. Blow through the air in a slow afternoon (4) 30. Pat and Mike shine rim differently (8) 31. Mussolini divided sum to be quoted (7) 32. See chief in pie-mart-monkey business? (7) Down ’ 1. A jewel is nothing to a friend (4) 2. Mat escaped untaxed (4-4). 3. Did you dine at nine? No! So you become thin (9) 4. The object of my egocentrism in 30 (2) 5. A trap goes up for an actor’s ambition; but not together (5) 6. First class ball wrenched from the lips (6)
Federation
of Students
University Senate hdergraduate Council i
Written applications will be received by the undersigned to fill six student seats on the University Senate Undergraduate Council. Term of office for appointees shall be July 1, 1971 June 30, 1972. Students from ALL faculties of the University are ,urged to apply for this very important committee. Only full-time ible to apply.
undergraduates
, Deadline for application June2, i971 *
are elig-
is 5:00
p.m.
Carl H. Sulliman vice-president
I
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VER A TWO-YEAR PERIOD beginning in march 1968, a special senate committee on science policy, chaired by Maurice Lamontagne, held public meetings at which all government agencies concerned with science and over 250 groups from industry, universities and the professional scientific societies gave their views on Canadian science policy. The first volume of the committee’s report was published last december and the second volume which will contain the actual recommendations is due to be released at any time. Unlike the report of the senate committee on the mass media, this report is the forerunner of major government legislation and policy changes. Not only have its hearings stirred a great deal of discussion in the scientific community on the subject of science policy but the federal cabinet is already drafting legislation. As a result of the report and impending government action there are going to be major changes in Canadian science policy in the next few years, changes which will have an effect not only on the scientists themselves but on the entire society. One of the major by-products of the senate committee’s work has been the formation of a national organization called SCITED. The purpose of this group, which embraces nearly all phases of science and technology (including engineering, medicine, basic sciences and social sciences) is to encourage scientists from all disciplines to work together with a broad outlook on questions of common concern to all scientists. As an example of this, there will be a major conference held in Ottawa soon after the release of the second volume of the senate report. This will act as a formal vehicle for the scientific community (including students) to make its response to the recommendations.
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The report itself deals with two broad areas. One is the reorganization of the government’s science policy machinery. The other is the recommending of a basis for formulating an overall science policy (i.e. a discussion of suggested targets and strategies). The distinction between these two related but dissimilar aspects of the report is not always made and it can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding. Anyone who has studied Canadian science policy will agree that a major administrative re-organization is necessary and the report makes this point very forcefully. The report is very careful to distinguish between overall science policy and individual policies: “It must be emphasized again that the role of an overall science policy, like that of a macro-economic policy is not to re-. place specific policies but to support them with a basic framework, broad terms of reference and criteria to assess their efficient y. *’
The federal cabinet has already moved in this direction and following one of the reports major recommendations, it is establishing a new cabinet post for a minister of science (the first minister will be a Toronto businessman. A.W. Gillespie). Although the formal recommendations will appear only in the second volume of the report, the major points of emphasis can be summarized as follows: l a call for a minister of science (without a department) is made,
l a proposal for a recording of research prio made with emphasis on: (1) engineering and technological developmen: than basic science, (2) life sciences, especially the social sciences sical sciences, (3) social and economic objectives vs curiosit] edresearch l the need to develop a new approach to stiinr search and development (R&D) in industry is stre l the need for more research in the social sci pointed out (although it carefully notes that th already too many students in the social science usefully employed. ) l it recommends that Canada’s R&D effor be doubled while holding the universities’ share cc l it wants the results of R&D made more rel the people in our society (but note that this on11 doing the research in industrial labs as opposed to ment labs), l the need for a better manpower inventory a trol is stressed, l it recommends that the lab and granting as the NRC be separated, l it suggests the-development of a high level i tion system for Canada, l it recognizes the very tricky question on tea research at the university and then ignores the prc
.
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Sweden,
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rshi As well as the major thrusts of the report given above, it notes that the role of foreign ownership on the amount of R&D done in Canada is not as clear asmany people believe: “All the available evidence shows that at least until recently, foreign-owned subsidiaries spent proportionately as much on R&D in Canada as similar Canadian companies ” (they quote Mel Watkins to this effect). However with this brief comment on foreign ownership, consideration of the effects of the Canadian-american relationship on Canadian science policy is virtually dropPed. Throughout the report the committee frequently quotes the various views they had received on a given subject and then adopts the one which fits into their grand plan. One example is their claim that Dr. Steacie (president of NRC 195262) was betraying his trust by stating ‘A direct responsibility to produce the kind of graduate industry wants would be a degradation of the university to the level of a vocational school. “ This is a fairly widely held view and yet the report easily dismisses it. The emphasizes another aspect which the report fails to ever consider; what effects will the report’s recommended changes have on the role of education at the university and what will the students’ reaction be? It is implicity assumed that the government and industry can change the university’s role to suit their purposes with little consultation with the faculty, much less the students!
It is content to point out past failures and suggest changes with no overall aim in mind other than to allow our industry to do well in the “technology race”. That this is not the main role of science policy is stressed strongly in many places, For example the OECD report “Science economic growth and government policy points out “it appears that science and technology do not constitute a perfect mixture that will automatically make a big contribution to economic growth and social development” and “thus the formulation of a national science policy must take into account non-economic objective as well as economic ones; and the former may even sometimes take precedence. ” It is important to realize, that although the senate report may pay lip service to these ideals, it does not in fact -pay serious consideration to them in practice. Since the report is so superficial it puts a great deal of emphasis on international comparisons (since if we follow the rest of the world we can blame the results on them). And even here it is content with the most shallow statistics which tend to fit into the report’s analysis in a simple way. This is an important point and since so much weight is attached to it in the report it is worthwhile to briefly discuss some of the figures they have used.
INTERNATIONAL $/capita GERD for basic
COMPARISONS $/capita % for for
GNP research E&SP 74% Canada 1.4% 7.1 31% 2.9% 13.7 U.S. 61% U.K 2.3% 5.0 56% 2.3% 4.7 France 83% Germany 1.7% ? 100% 1.8% ? Japan 66% Sweden 1.4% ? GERD: gross national expenditure GNP: gross national product E&SP: economic & social purposes (i.e. no defense, space or atomic) Note: 15% of Canada’s GERD is power which is not part of E&W
The report uses statistics to show two main conclusions : Canada does far too little research and Her distribution of effort is wrong. In table 1, the figures in the first column which show Canada far below the other major industrial countries in total R&D effort are from the senate report. However using the figures given by the OECD report on Canadian science policy (Paris, 1969) which explicitly distinguish between the social and economic purposes of R&D as opposed to military, space and atomic R&D the gains an entirely different picture of Canada’s position. The OECD report points out that military research has no necessary or direct relationship to economic growth”. Even the senate report is confused on this issue since at one point it claims that there have been important spinoff benefits fro\m the huge american defence and space R&D programs. But in another place it points out “Instead of indirectly assisting an area of technology with spinoff, why not promote it directly by projects whose objective is to meet the real need?” Other figures presented by R.W. Jackson of the science council are also very revealing in that they show that the simple comparisons made between the distribution of effort in Canadian and american science can be very misleading. He has divided american companies into civilian oriented and military-space oriented components (very roughly), He notes- that there is a strong correlation between the emphasis in research and the orientation of the_ industry (see table 2). These figures should not be used to infer any simple cause-effect relationships, but they do point out the weakness in comparing the total Canadian vs total american figures since Canada’s industry is almost entirely civilian oriented. These figures have been presented to demonstrate that both the major conclusions ,drawn from the statistics in the senate report are at best misleading and require a much deeper analysis than given so far. The above criticisms are concerned with the errors introduced by a blind comparison of the Canadian vs american systems. However this is begging the even more crucial question: do we want to emulate the Americans? The report does not even ask the question! There have been a large number of writers recently who have placed much of the blame for the mess in american society on the relationship between science industry and the government (J-K. Galbraith and H.L. Nieburg) and yet the report takes no account of this (even Fortune magazine this month has taken to defending science from this attack! ). We are fortunate in Caada that we can still avoid some of the problems the Americans have run into if we start worrying about them now. Unfortunately the senators did not adopt this approach. -
peaceful
The report has very clearly seen the need to redirect canadian science policy but it has emerged with no significant insight into how to make science relevant to the real needs of society.
It is clear that this repoFt will stimulate major changes in Canada in the next few years although the government will not be tied directly to the reports recommendations. It will be very easy to criticize the government five or ten years from now over its actions in the next short while, An informed and vocal response now (which is a much more difficult task) has the additional benefit of actually being capable of having some effect.
David Rogers sity of Toronto.
T
E&SP
GNP E&SP 1.03% 23.7 .Bl% 34.5 1.4% 24.0 1.3% 19.0 1.4% 20.4 1.8% 9.3 .86% 22.1 for R&D
for
There is one all pervading bias in the report and that is the pro-industry, anti-scientist bias of the committee (but what do you expect from a group of businessmen? ) Although the report tries to jump on the “lets make science relevant to society” bandwagon and refers to its proposals as revolutionary, it is actually a very establishmentoriented document. The report is revolutionary ; however the proposed revolution is one in which the vested interest in science is taken away from the scientists and given to the industrialists. The report is written in such a manner as to make the scientific community react strongly against the way science has been shown and thus divert attention from the real point of emphasis of the report which is to strengthen industry. This strong pro-industry bias can best be seen by a comparison of the following two quotes refering to the same requests but from the industrialists and the scientists respectively: “Most briefs presented by industry* recommended stronger more comprehensive and less restrictive federal government incentives to stimulate innovation in industry. The Committee was struck by the fact that this suggestion also received broad support from the ‘wise men’, individuals and non-industrial associations. ” Along the same lines, with reference to scientists: “They are asking at the same time for more public money and less public control. Society and government as a guardian of the public interest, obviously cannot accept a request that in too many cases would amount to a social security measure or job-creating program for scientists.” Even as a scientist, I must agree with the ideas involved in the second quote, but the same comments must apply to industry as well. This strong bias which pervades the entire report has unfortunately greatly weakened the analysis given to some of the major problems.
atomic
. .i
American I ndustry “Civilian oriented” ‘:.M i I itary-space oriented” Both (weighted) Canadian (all R&D) Industry
instructor
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Entrance) THE CRICKETERS are once again organizing on campus . this summer. The itinerary will jnclude wide travel to such exotic places as Stratford, Guelph, London, etc. The hope is for at least ten matches this summer organized as ‘friendlys’ against league teams. Team practise will commence next week with matches 1beginning two weeks hence. Contact Jack Morris at ext. 3872 for more dope.
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year jock was attempting to finish his first. Both runners began the race somewhere in the middle of the throng, almost half a block behind the actual starting line. At the first checkpoint, Taylor was only fifty places b‘ehind the leader and Olver went through in seventy-fourth position. Throughout the ensuing two hours, both athletes, as did most others, fought off inevitable leg cramps and ignored rapidly forming blisters as they strode through the spectator-lined streets T-~0 hours thirty three minutes and thirty four seconds after the start, Arthur Taylor crossed the finish line in thirty-fifth position - good enough for a medal. Twenty minutes later, Olver finished the race placing 173rd. Taylor’s creditable posit~ion placed him fourth among the Canadians competing. Completing the rigorous Boston marathon course is an end in itself, so with that experience behind ihem, both atletes are back on the roads pounding out mileage which may exceed. 25 miles on particular days. With this as a background, both runners look with anticipation to Patriot’s day, 1972.
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Year after year (for the past seventy-five, anyway), Patriot’s Day celebrations in the city of Boston, Mass. have been hilited by the patter of blistered feet and the sight of wobbly legs sup, porting the grim, determined bodies of men struggling down the main street to end twenty six miles, three hundred and eightyfive yards of agony. This experience has been shared by thousands, and is labelled, ‘the Boston Marathon’. I The marathon, historically, is a commemoration of the run by the legendary Greek, Pheidippides, who in the fifth century B.C. is reported to have run across the plains from Marathon to Athens. Upon his arrival, he _announced the Greek triumph over Persia by shouting, “Rejoice, we ccrnquer.” He then died. As one marathoner has stated, ‘that provided one hell of a precedent’. ’ Two Waterloo competitors travelled to Boston to run the famous course. The extremes ih experience was represented by these two runners. Arthur Taylor, 44 years old from the personnel department was attempting his twelfth marathon. Peter Oliver, a 20 year old third
1
of The Campus
Centre
FASTBALL
iS
OnCe
again on campus. Last year, the team finished the schedule in first place and hopes are soaring f&r a similar- position this ye&. Practise begins next week and interested players should
contact 3664.
Bob
at
ext.
THE MEN’S SAU-N A has been ‘liberated’ frequently in the latter weeks by members of a minority group on campus tie, females). . .their presence has been accepted by the users and the ‘regulars’ j/ urge continuation ; however, Tale users (we presume them to be male, because of the obvious problems females would encounter in attemptink.. ) anyway, the guys have been peeing on the rocks. Urine on hot coals emits a most nauseating odour which has been repelling even the staunchest liberator.. .we appeal to these uncouth users to attempt some restraint or at least to ‘tie it in a knot’.
TRACK MEET Students from twenty high schools in Ontario will be on campus tomorrow for the eleventh annual warrior * invitational trophy track and field meet. Leading the list of schools will be last year’s winners, Hill Park from Hamilton as well as Monarch Park the -runner-up from Toronto. Central Technical school also from Toronto is expetted to be the class of the meet in the exciting relay events. This team holds the Ontario high school record in the 4 lx 400 mt. relay event. They are hoping to clip at least five seconds off the present warrior meet record. Many present members of the warrior track team have won events in this meet in past years. A few still hold meet records. Waterloo’-s ace freshman Russ Gnyp was one of the stars of last year’s meet and has continued in this vein while competing, for the warriors. John Swainson, who competed for the Canadian team last summer won both the
McKillop
-
’ .
sprint events at Seagram stadium last summer. In addition to the high school attractions, will be two invitational open events. Waterloo’s ‘wonder boy’ Arthur Taylor will square off in the 5000 mt. run against Bruntz Walker and Danny Anderson of the warrior squad. The favourite in that distance event is Dave Smith of ‘the Toronto Olympic club who has compiled an impressive series. of road race victories this spring. A surprise entry in the 5000 could be Dave Bailey of Toronto who has‘ tentatively agreed to compete. Bailey made the Canadian record books a few years ago when he became the first Canadian to break the four minute barrier for the mile run. The hairy Nigel Strothard will try to provide fierce competition for Hamilton’s outstanding middle distance ace Bruce Woods in the other invitational event, the 800 mt run. Events begin, at 10 : 30 am and will run all afternoon. Kipchoge says to watch John Booth.
-
-
_
INTRAMURALS The summer recreational program is the most varied and largest in Intramural history. Over 30 activities are offered on a -team, individual and club basis. New activities include 7 summer clubs from cricket, through fencing and orienteering to whitewater (canoe and kayak) to sailing. In team sports, ball hockey, team squash and slow pitch softball will add an interesting variety to the program. In individual events - frisbee throwing and four golf days will add excitement to the program. ACTIVITY
ENTRY
DATE
ORGANIZATIONAL MEETING
j Thursday May 13th
Tuesday, May 18th Room 1083 - 7:30 pm Athletic Complex
Tuesday May 18th
Thurs. May 20th Room 1083 - 7:30 Athletic Complex
Softball
Friday May 14th
Monday, May 17th Room 1083 - 7: 30 pm Athletic Complex
7 Aside
Wednesday May 19th
Thurs. May 20th Room 2049 - 12 noon Athletic Complex
Slow Pitch Softball
Eriday May 14th
Monday, May 17th Room 1083 - 8: 30 pm Athletic Complex
Soccer
Friday May21st
Five Man Team Squash
Tuesday May 18th
Friday, May 2 1 st Room 2049 - 12 noon Athletic Complex
Seven Aside OneHanded Touch Football
Wednesday May 19th
Tues. May 25th Room 2049 - 12 noon Athletic Complex
80 SUMMER
TEAMS
Basketball Five Aside Hockey
Ball
Rugger
Wed. May 26th Room 1083 - 7:30 Athletic Complex
I--
pm
pm
EXPECTED
.
Last summer 65 teams from faculty, staff and students entered the various recreational activities. Expectations are that over 80 will enter one of the 8 team sports offered in the summer program. The summer program is simply a recreational one - based on friendly games rather than fierce competition. If you wish, to form and enter a team simply do the following (1) gather a group of friends together. (2) pick up an entry form- now from the Receptionist in the phys ed bldg - red north entrance. (3) complete the entry form indicating a. the name of the event , b. name of your team c. captains name and phone number d. the name, I.D., address, faculty year of team -. members e. time/day you would prefer to play (4) return the completed form to the receptionist on or before the entry deadline. (5) send a team representative to the prescribed organizational meeting. (6) Have fun! Entry dates are fast upon us so enter now. No post entries will be accepted. Make sure that one _J_b representative from each team comes to the respective organizational meeting.
’
SECOND‘
LAND-WATER
RELAY
If you happen to see on monday, may 17th an inner tube slowly floating down laurel creek, or e.s.p. nine\ people in a sinking canoe, or envisage several weird home-made “floating” craft in the vicinity of Columbia lake, laurel creek and in front on conrad grebel pool - quickly realize these are participants in the second annual land-water relay. Objective is to transport your unmotorized, floatable water craft from Columbia lake via laurel creek (land and water) with or without a paddle to the end of the pond in front on Conrad grebel. Last summer, 10 individuals braved the rushing water to complete the fun event. ’ Starting time - Monday may 17th, 4:00 pm at columbia lake. Who can enter - anyone, any number. Award - “black and gold paddle award”. To enter - simply come to-- Columbia pm on monday.
GOLF
lake by 3 : 45
ANYONE?
Four golf days are planned for summer 71. On W-ednesday may 19th and june 16th two l/z price recreational golf days are on the books at foxwood. Simply pay $2.00, play a round and get $1.00 back at the end. You can play any time during the day for half price. ’ The faculty and-staff Second annual “putton and glutton” tournament will be held on wed. june 2nd at beaverdale golf course. Cost $6.00 for green fees, prizes and meal. Entries are due by friday, may 28th. Please come early to the receptionist, pay your fee and pick your starting times. Over 20 golfers entered last year. On tuesday, june 22nd a first open mixed twoLball foursome will be held at doon golf course. More on that later.
WHAT
ABOUT
Never fear will be held.
PRESCHOOL
- the second
kinder-swim
CHILD? program
VARIED EXPLANATION:
The Kinder classes are aimed at basic instruction in the gym and pool for pre-school children aged 1 year to 5 years of staff, faculty and students of the University of Waterloo. It is hoped that the children will learn basic techniques of water awareness and Improve their level of aquatic ability. In the gym. emphasis will be placed on gross-motor movements like throwing, jumping, balance, etc. Here again emphasis will be placed on learning and improving their abilities in theseareas. The children will spend a half hour in the pool then a half hour in the gym or vice versa once a week for 8 weeks. CLASS SIZE: Limited to 15 per class. - NOTE: All children are to be accompanied in the pool by a parent. REGISTRATION DATE: Friday, May 14th - Room 2049 - Athletic Bldg. COST: $5.00 per child for 8 hours of combined gym and pool time. DATES ‘CLASS: Tuesdays - Class A Class B Thursdays - Class C Class D ’ STARTING DATE: The week of Tuesday, May j 8th, 197 1:
9:30 - 10:00 1O:OO - lo:30
am (pool) am (gym)
1:30 2:00 -
9:30 - 10:00 1O:OO - lo:30
am (gym) am (pool)
1:30 - 2:00 pm (gym) 2:00 - 2:30 pm (pool)
REMINDER
2:00 2:30
pm (pool) pm (gym)
THIS WEEK
1. Team entries are due in softball, slow pitch, basketball, ball hockey, 7 aside rugger, soccer, 5 man team squash and touch football, 2. Land-water relay starts 4:00 pm on monday, may 17th on far side of Columbia lake. 3. First half price golf day at foxwood Wednesday, may 19. 4. Registration for kinder swim and kinder gym classes friday, may 14. First class starts tuesday, may 18 at 9:30 am athletic complex. 5. For further information contact the intramural department.
SUMMER
FUN FOR FEMALES
The women’s department is offering a variety of activities for all the girls on campus this summer, including students, faculty and staff. SLOW PITCH is expected to be the,number one event again this summer. This game was introduced to the campus last year and proved to be very popular. It is an excellent recreational activity providing plenty of action, with no limit on number of players, and requiring no great skill. It is similar to softball, except team-mates pitch to each other which provides plenty of hitting. Mitts will be supplied to all players, making a catch much simpler. There is plenty of running, so if it’s fun and exercise you are seeking this summer be sure to join. If interested, get a group together and enter a team or leave your name and be assigned to one. FIELD HOCKEY is another activity offered. It will be strictly recreational with pick up games organized for those interested. It is hoped that recreational games against a group from Guelph will be possible. The organizational meeting will take place at 6: 55 pm on Tuesday in the locker room. BASKETBALL looks like it may be a popular activity on Monday nights. This past Monday saw - about thirty girls of varying ages and talents gather in the gym for pick up games. It was good fun and will be continued. If more formal teams are desired this will be arranged. Starting times will be posted in the locker room. . VOLLEYBALL will be organized also for any group interested. Watch notice boards for more information. SQUASH INSTRUCTION for beginners through advanced is being offered on Wednesdays from 11:30 to 1 :OO pm. Interested individuals should appear ready to play at any time during those hours.
OTHER
RESTAURANT
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EVENTS
Although there are a host of activities offered this summer on campus, the games of softball, soccer, and touch football will probably remain -as the most popular. There are, however many other events which appear appealing to individuals seeking casual exercise. Fencing, sailing and archery are examples of this category. Underwater and orienteering will attract the more vigorous. Whatever the choice, the organizers and participants of each group are very eager to initiate the unexperienced. The suggestion to those who have been away from organized activity for what is considered ‘too long’, is affiliation with one of the seven athletic clubs on campus this summer. _ _
APPEAL
FOR OFFICIALS
Because of the large student participation on the competitive level, the intramural department has found itself desperately short of officials. Anyone not wishing to actually play the game but harbouring some secret desire to be involved should contact Peter Hopkins at ext. 3532 forthwith. These positions are financially remunerative (ie. profitable) and besides, officials are loaned those cool striped shirts. Other numbers to call regarding intramural information are: Sally Kemp (women) 3533, Pat Sharp (secretary) 3531 or Mary (receptionist) at 2156. s
friday
14 may
7971 (72: I) 9
9
feedck Ads for abortion referal condemned There is an advertisement appearing in the chevron that needs to be brought to the attention of student and non-student alike. This wonderful abortion agency .is willing to get a girl out of trouble for a fee. The fees involved come to &5 dollars plus of course your travelling expenses, anti-biotics, etc. Figure on 300 dollars anyway. Their price is 100 dollars more than the average. The birth control center here at the university can often get them done for less even than the 150 dollars. Nor do we charge for our services. It seems the chevron has to print these advertisements, being under some obligation to the news agency that distributes it. It certainly isn’t done as a student service. I am sure many girls that will take advantage of this offer do not understand what is involved. Many must go to New York city alone, have no place to stay when they get there. They may not even really want an abortion but are under pressure from family or boy friend. They receive no help with arrangements nor counselling. Many don’t even understand that abortions are legal and free in Canada. At the moment they are not altogether easy to get here but we have had good success lately. No! your parents need not know ! This particular agency might even lend you the money, if you can provide collateral, and pay an unspecified interest. Since people have a right to read what they please the only thing that we can do is offer the university of Waterloo birth control center as an alternative to anyone student or not that needs help. It would however be really great if you would come before you get pregnant! It would simplify matters greatly. Don’t hesitate however if you think you are, the longer you wait the more expensive it is -and the more dangerous is the operation. KEITH DEWAR chairman birth control center
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Chevron missed oui on a great story
100,000th person through the ‘left’ turnstile in the library received his prizes (the plastic toilet, the football, the carrot sucker and a free pass to the reserves)., but the chevron was not there for the picture . . . or the story. What the library was trying to demonstrate was that through influence, people who would be more ‘right’ oriented can be persuaded to think ‘left’. Initially, two weeks ago, the left turnstile (Lefty to his friends) had’ had 80,000 people pass through it and the right turnstile had 300,000. After a campaign the left turnstile increased proportionately over the right turnstile. The library felt that it was a good time to make its cause known and to acknowledge this milestone when the 100,OOOth person went through. It felt the chevron would be interested in Lefty and the cause for the underpriviledged groups and minorities. . The chevron disappoints all once more. RITA MOdRE env. studies MARION SPEZIALE math 3 > I
Some commenfs integrated
on
studies
The farmhouse: is a nice place sto visit but it is far away and elitist. Resource people: are a contradiction and a pissoff.. .why should some people pay money and others get paid (and it is all out of proportion ) . There’s an interesting book, Cards of Identity, by Nigel Dennis, a satire about the apparent need of people for experts to tell them everything, including who they are. I Degree : another contradiction . .. no job security in it...we know what we know and the experts don’t count.. .some degrees are shorthand but if IS had one it an explanation would require every time anyway. The people‘ in the senate and the administration etc etc seem to me to like telling other people what to do... being in control.. . they get frightened when the control is not in forms that they are used to.
The chevron really terest
missed out on- a extraordinary human instory the other day. The
CHARLOTTE
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FIVE
TURNS
Faced with of a sudden five turns on the swift highway my father chosq the second . and wrong one,/ but the right we soon were all agreed, especially when the road dipped down and at the bottom a creek boiling underneath a bridge that shook so much we held our very breath right to the other side;
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and then continued us up hill and through a green and rolling countryside past cows afield and chickens around a farmhouse door and a girl who waved to us and- tossed her chestnut hair longer, more beautiful than the whole afternoon
Liberation from the affluent society H
ERE WE ARE FACED with the question: is liberation from the affluent society identical with the transition from capitalism to socialism? The answer I suggest is: It is not identical if socialism is defined merely as the planned development of the productive forces, and the rationalization of resources (although this remains a precondition for all liberation). It is identical with the transition from capitalism to socialism if socialism is defined in its most Utopian terms: namely among others, the abolition of labor, the termination of the struggle for existencethat is to say, life as an end in itself, and no longer as a means to an end-and the liberation of human sensibility and sensitivity, not as a private factor, but as a force for transformation of human existence and its environment. To give sensitivity and sensibility their own right is, I think, one of the basic goals of integral socialism. These _ are qualitatively different features of a free society. They presuppose, as you may already have seen, a total transvaluatipn of values, a new anthropology. They presuppose a type of man who rejects the performance principles governing the established societies; a type of man who has rid himself of the aggressiveness and brutality that are inherent in the irianization of established society, and in their hypocritical, puritan morality; a type of man who has a good conscience of joy and pleasure, and; who works collectively and individually, for a social and natural environment in which such an existence becomes possible.
by Herbert
Marcuse
“My dad says the ‘Canadian content rule’ means Canadians playirfg American compositions on American-made instruments on programs sponsored by American-owned companies. ”
member: Canadian university press (CUP) and underground press syndicate (UPS), subscriber: liberation news service (LNS), east european international news service (EEINS)-and chevron -international-new service (Cl NS),, the chevron is a newsfeature tabloid published offset fifty-two times *a year (197 l-72) on summer fridays and autumn and winter tuesdays and fridays by the federation of students, incorporated, university of Waterloo. Content is the responsibility of the chevron staff, independent of the federation and the university administration, offices in the campus center; phone (519) 578-7070 or university local 3443; telex 0295-748. summer circulation: 7,000 Alex Smith, editor This is not particularly an inspired first issue;a fact due largely to the fact that nobody has been around for many weeks and much work is being expended to send. out 9,000 copies of Voices, which should be distributed on campus in about a week, if not sooner. The chevron is in desperate need of graphics and features people: people who will do line drawing and write analysis and satire without being held by the hand. Are there any of you ou_t there? People who will write stories, cover guest lectures, maybe even people who know how to stir up a little you-know-what. Are there any of you out there? People who can take newsy pictures when nothing is happening. People who know studio camera work and who have a few ideas for dur poster-like back pages. Are there any of you out there? People who feel they can dig a little in the Twin Metropoli and who have some leads on rip-off landlords, oppressed farmers, nasty OHC officials or groovy art displays. Are there any of you out/there? If there are, for god’s (or gods’, if you prefer or God’s if you insist) sake, drop in to the chevron office/Watch for a major change in the appearance of the chevron by late july, but as things usually progress around here it Won’t be until September. Hint. No serifs. Anywhere./Please be patient for a couple of weeks (this is the second time we’re asking) while some printing difficulties get settled. You can expect to see major features in the future on Mid-Canada, Media 7 1 and the future of traditional journalism, the meaning and relevance of the federation of students, major reports from chevron staffers in Africa and Europe (we think there are more staff members out of the country than in Waterloo), hopefully more information dealing with community problems in the K-W area, probably some chevron forums presented on the university‘s TV systemdebates, films and interviews; and then there are some witch-hunts being planned. If you have ideas for local news features, ok if you can draw good cartoonsespecially on topical university subjectscome and see us, immediately. Watch for posters announcing our first staff meeting. And by no means is our staff limited to students. Last year, about three staff members,. at least four faculty and as many.as ten graduate students contributed to the chevron regularly./lt might, in fact, be worthwhile for some of you to take off your blinkers and take notice of what the hell is happening around you: why aren’t your fellows as lucky as some of you were in getting jobs? Why have a great number of co-op students not returned to school this term -could it be school is becoming less relevant, or is it that they thought they should hold on to the jobs they had for sure...and if this is the case in affluent Canada, WHY is it the case? Looking around you on campus, why after almost three years of discussing a one-tier governing body for the university are some of the university senate members creeping about whispering that a reformed two-tier government is really best, after-all, Who has power around here and why do they want to keep it and extend it? Have any of you thought about power? Do you realize you are kept crammed with bookwork to condition you into accepting the authority of the Waterloo Mandarins, busy creating little empires and making things click like clockwork while time runs out for everyone else? Maybe you should pay more attention to power, now that you may starve to death when you graduate. What about parity within faculties for students... sure faculty members are getting more say in administration committees, but where are the students; the students who will ask a few questions, not sit like bumps on a log? Are.they ALL at the engineering stag, or the new King St. strip joint? Maybe they are. But if that’s the case, you’d all better pack up your little drafting kits and slide rules and toddle off to the welfare office right now. Work on the chevron? It’s not utopia, but it might be a beginning. Try it. production editor: Al Lukachko coordinators: Steve lzma (photo), Mel Rotman (entertainment) Dennis McGann (sports), rats (features) Putting it together this first week: krista tomoray, barry brown, crisper sumner, peter hopkins, dianne caron, sally kemp, peter Wilkinson, tom purdy, paul lawson, rich hastings, john koolstra, john williamson.
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If&e Kaise.r-hadwonthe great principles of the Kaiser’s Germany. The individual’s right to privacy, he Reading about Kaiser Wilhelin’ssecret plan to invade th< United States back bewould say, must give way to the Kaiser’sright to eavesdrop on your telephone so he fore World War I could make your hair stand on end if you started thinking about can know who is calling up -other. people and saying. “The Kaiser is full of. sauerwhat this country would be like today if the Kaiser’s plan had succeeded. - kraut.” In the first place, the government would be run by people with germanic-names, like Kissinger, Ehrlichman, Haldeman, Ziegler, Klein, Kleindienst and Shultz. ~ We can be thankfuithat the Kaiser’s invasion plans never got off the drawing board. Our streets would be filled with Volkswagens instead of Hupmobiles, Pierce-Arrows Just think ! . As a german territory, we might even be obliged to go to war with Rusand La Salles, and one of the most popular american foods would be the frankfurter. sia to defend Berlin! . The great american drink would no longer beChateau Haut--Brian 7% but beer, Of co_urse, after sixty-years of being germanized in Kaiser Wilhelm style, we would marketed under teutonic brand names such -as Schlitz”, Budweiser, Miller and probably have become corrupted by the celebrated german taste for war and the \ . . . Pabst. building of war machines. The german habit of cleanliness, which american soldiers -and tourists so admired If the Kaiser had been entrenched in Washington by, say, i910, we might by this immediately after World-War II, would now be such :a passion with us that half the _ time be spending billions of dollars- yearly. just to maintain a*i$es and navies.? time on american television would probably, be used to sell soap. The search for a These political and military consequen:es of a german conquest are too depressing detergent that could wash a shirt whiter than white would be a national obsession to dwell upon. and any -body that smeiled human instead of chemical would be considered loathHardly less so are the industrial probabilities. A’ g&man conquest would alr&st som.e, if not dangerously disloyal to-the -Kaiser. certainly have resulted in construction of an elaborate and fantastically expensive german efficiency, with which we are all familiar through hearsay, ; The depressing system of autobahns to speed commerce and Volkswagens through places where would now be an american characteristic, since the Kaiser’s forces -would surely quaint old american cities once stood. have put efficiency experts in charge of the nation’s business.-As a result, we would The German zest for industrial-competition, exercised on qur relatively unspoiled all be at the mercy of incredibly efficient computers, capable of instantly performmight even have left our lakes and rivers poisoned and made, our air ing any task, from squeezing us for a pint of blood for the internal revenue service J continent, dense with industrial-waste. -to .rn-ailing us -the bank statements of a complete stranger who lives seve_n states .One shudders to contemplate all this. And yet, on the cheerful side, there/are a ,to the west. few matters teutonic on which Americans would surely have, resisted the conquer: And the fabled german tendency to overeat! By this time; some in America woulding Kaiser’s most autocratic edicts. Kaiser or no Kaiser, we. would still not submit be’ overweight, and most of our women would be dieting to fit Wagnerian hips and . to wagnerianopera, pickled pigs feet, soccer or passenger trains. chests into dresses designed for boyish figures in France. In ,any case, we would all thank. our lucky Stars and Stripes that the Kaiser’s plan Imagine what our government would be like. Would the Kaiser, for example, have never came to reality. Let us ask President Nixon to lead- us in another nationally permitted us to have an attorney general? Possibly. If so, his name would be Johann televised chant of “Gott mit uns.” Mitchell: He would have to wear a pince-nez, and he would,be constantly’defending , -/ . ( c
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Prose.,bi/ .Rirssell Baker the New York Tjmes; photo by John‘ W. Alexanders,
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