Campus Events - FRIDAY Tonight at the Waterloo Motor Inn, the Federation presents Some shitty band Denephew was able to book at a good price. Tickets are too much.
Fed Flicks: various X-rated 8-mm films will be shown at 3am in the Fed office. Everybody welcome. Fed Fix: LSD-25 will be distributed in AL116 at 8pm. Federation President Mark McMuck'n'Mire will be unavailable for comment for several weeks. The CC Spud will be open tonight and tomorrow night. Four hundred gallons of potato beer will be available. The scheduled meeting of the Apathy Club was cancelled due to interest. From 8pm on there will be a Disco Burning sponsored by the MISPRINT rock reviewers in the great hall of the CC. BYOD (Bring Your Own Disco). The monthly meeting of the UW Procrastination Society has been postponed indefinitely. The Waterloo Christian Fellowship will r a at 8 p h i n ' hold an ~ ~ o Sweater CC110. Lana Turner will be inside it. - SATURDAY What's a classifiedad doing in Campus Events? For this and other juicy tidbits, contact JWB at 885-9216. The KW and District Underwater Association sponsors a film night in the PAC pool beginning at 8. Admission is $5. The Otter's Club will be holdinga trip to rape and pillage a colony of cherrystone clams. Anyone interested can call Flipper at 576-4449. - SUNDAY The Sunday Evening 5-Pin ~owliAg Club will convene at Conrad Grebel Chapel beginning at 7pm for inspirational guttering. The UW chapter of the National Organization for the Legalization of Marijuana and the .UW Punsters League will hold a joint press conference in AL202 today at 4pm. The Beer Committee will drink themselves in the C C Pub from 7 to 8 this
evening. Linus Van Pelt will speak at a meeting of the Insecurity Council held in C C 110 at 1:30. Blankets welcome. Monogrammed pewter straws available.
- MONDAY .The Legal Resource Office will be sponsoring a special libel and slander for fun and profit seminar in C C 217A today at llam. The Birth Control Centre is distributing live chipmunk condoms for all you bizarre people out there. Available throughout the week. Mark McMuck'n'mire will be unavailable for comment today between 12:OO and 3:OO am tonight in the C C Pub. is hdding a meeting The Outer's C l ~ b in CO 135 to discuss why they only had one announcement in Campus Events this week. This year's Worldball Tournament will be held throughout the week. Atlas, Captain of last year's winning team, will be on hand to throw out the ceremonial first ball.
- TUESDAY L
Join the rally protesting haircuts held by Cutting Hair is Cruel (CHIC) at a barber shop on Queen. The bus leaves the C C at 4:30pm. ,
' There will be a Liberal Club meeting to discuss what happened at the Conservative Club meeting last Thursday and how to infiltrate the NDP Club meeting on Friday. Nominations will be taken for a new leader. Those interested are asked to report at the usual place at the usual time. Interested in gelatinous cubes? For information on the Running Jokes Club, see Mondaa's entry. There will be a THATSIC meeting in MC 5158 at 7:30. Coffee and doughnuts will be supplied; leather fetish games will be played afterwards. New members are welcome. Separatists must be prepaired.
- WEPNESDAY There will be WPIRG Seminar on Acid Rain in HH 150 today at 12:30.
d
I
Topic for discussion: should the government legalize Alka-Seltzer umbrellas?
Mid-week Chapel Services will be held in Conrad Grovel College Chapel and Disco tonight at 8pm. Tonight's sermon: Is there life after Saturday Night Fever? The Suicide Club holds its annual meeting tonight at 7:30in the world room of the Campus Centre. Please knock to be admitted (if there's no answer, just walk right in). The World of Dance presents Ancient Sacrificial Tribal Dances at 4pm in the Theatre of the Arts. The World of Dance is looking for volunteers to star in their production today at 4pm. Experience is not necessary. There will be a Brown Bag Seminar at 12:30 in HH 227 on "Brown Bags in Society", a follow-up to last week's seminar on "Brown Bags and the Law". Interested in Mark ~uck'n'mire? For information on the Running Jokes Club, see Monday's entry.
- THURSDAY The final Music at Noon Concert put on by WLU will,be held in the Theatre / Auditorium at 8pm. The Federation of Students presents another punk band with a disgusting name at the Waterloo Motor Inn at 8pm.. Tickets are $5 for Feds, $7.50 for others. Interested in monogrammed pewter straws? For information on the Running Jokes Club, see Monday's entry. The executive of the Never Give a Sucker an Even Break Association will be holding a potluck dinner at 5pmin C C 207. Gabriel will be giving a demonstration of hornblowing at 8 pm precisely in front of the Theatre of the Arts, also signalling the End of the World. If you have nothing important to do, stay in bed. Refreshments and discussion will take place after the event.
Renaissance Anteaters perform in the C C at 12 noon tomorrow, much to the disgust of everybody. Eat first and plan to leave your lunch behind.
Last week as I rushed from a BEER (Boards of Education and External Relations) meeting to ‘a BENT (Board..of-Entertairiment) meeting, having, already covered a BOG (Board of Governors) meeting, I stopped in an f ***ing acronyms are- driving me empty corridor and yelled out, “These nuts!” Fortunately, no one heard me, although a few monogrammed pewter straws gave me some awfully strange looks. _ I couldn’t help it. Sure, I know that acronyms are supposed to be memory about beer aids, but why do they have to be so idiotic. 3 I have dreams bottles discussing education and external relations in the CC pub. I fear , that BENT has alkeady permanently warped my mind with3ts punk rock concerts and perverted Hallowe’en parties. And every time I walk by a bog the frogs and lizards in it start talking about university fiscal policy from their lily pads. My mind finally blew a gasket last week*.as I read over these groups’ application forms for club status: SCREWS:Special Council for Research into Environmental Work Services CRUNCH:Council for the Resurrection of U-nderground Nuclear Clouds in Hawaii PIFFLE:Pinball Imprinters For Free Lunchtime Entertainment There must be a reason for these acronyms. I had to find out.
PUZZLE
FOUR
“There are six million storys in the Naked Puzzle...‘; ACROSS with his people I. Milked of half. h e stayed 4. Eef you vont representation, you haf to pay ze Federation zis 7. Vital organ, precious gem, stick or hoe 10. Crande! Bravo! 11. Et 12. Keen direction [abbr) 13. Abie sent a note explaining why he was oway 14. He beats everybody [except a real ace) 15. Enough Things Continue (abbr) 17. Will o’ the frail one 21. Place of training (abbr) 22. The dirty parts of Freudian psychology 25. What most lectures claim to be 28. Cosy place west, no, east of Eden 29. The Californian note (French) 30. You can’t have a little Jot: a Jot is too much 31. As Darryl is to Sittler, so Mohammed is to 32. Four Jorn and hungry students first idea 35. “Birth of a . ...“. D.W. Griffith’s 40. Mire, fire and desire; what these have in common will make you mad 41. Short speaker 42. Connection between the gun and the son 43. “Tennis Without Sin” must still be played with this 44. A bunch who go together 45. Jt makes movies and money [as foriegn investors have found - abbr) 46. Down to earth clouds 49. A man you do more than merely nod to (if ‘you Jive on his floor] 52. A fall guy! 55. The answer is planted! Terror grows! 59. Dog-in-training 62. Yoq can accept this tree 65. Nothing much to make a fuss about 66. He could destroy a pea [or a peabrain; he’s such an animal!) 67. If you intend finishing this puzzle. you’ll have to use every amount of energy you have, I’ll bet! 68. The villian poused after he’hid the estate 74. At the centre of the world, a placq of 1legal ald 75. He has a musical fear (oh, for the life of Brian!J 76. Not more than a coupJe 77. The Jetter the IJpper Class drinks 78. The health spot not for a spus [sing] 79. The molecular code which could rule your life (abbr) 80. No, not Elemental Mechanics University; an Australian bird 81. Brigid wouldn’t like this delicacy; 1 don’t see the use 82. We’f nay many 83. Jndependent minus tea minus Andy minus vowels equals Socialists (abbr) 84. You too can have purpose! [And you and you...J 85. Two of these make a salutation 87.
107. The car: one of the corporate dinosaurs of the twentieth century lab&r) 110. Ability to do well 1114. A strange version of my name 115. The...uh...abiJity to transmit id...uh,.. thoughts, yeah, thoughts 119. Would be Snow Dog slayer: By-.... 120. Not me 121. Don’t say! 122. The stuff dreams are made of 124. Clobber the production with a cooking utensil 125. Life Saving Drug? (abbr) 126. Wait! No - weight! /No - abbr) 1 127. Indefinite article [at least, it wasn’t the last time J looked) 128. Not you 130. He was killed by (I wooden Cain 132. The kind of clothing you’d expect a Jawver to wear
’
Federation presidefit Mark McMuck’n’Mire was unavailable for comment,but Vice-President Peter Wigglyworm did say, “Get the hell out of my office, you jerk !” Wigglyworm is the president of the Gelatinous Cubes Kibosh Organization (GECKO). UW Disintegrated Studies Professor Dunk Doughnut explains that acronyms are “a plot by the wealthy, imperialist, evil, CIA-controlled, monopolist, capitalist, anti-proletarian, amoral, exploiting class to steal the minds of the workers, having already stolen their labour.” M-ost of Doughnut’s colleagues agree that Doughnut is an unfortunate victim of this plot, clearly having “lost his mind” to the capitalists. ‘. Obviouslyihe time to act against acronyms is now. Already, the Council to Contrived and Outrageous Acronyms (COCOA) has started _ Opposed fighting this blight on our society. Misprint, setting an example of crusading journalism in the basic interests of the students, has also formed a group to combat this plague. The Board Against Niggling and Needless Acronyms in Society (BANANAS) will lead the battle. So join the fight against acronyms. 1 Denounce this growing acronymism! Down with acronyms! Up with COCOA and BANANAS! Stoned Pennies, MIGSCAB (vember in good standing of COCOA and BANANAS)
A rose by any other colour...? Swelling in a pig’s eye (that’ll get him he Jives!) 163. Used cars sound fine to thesesheep (with an apology to engineers) 165. Good bread will rise to the occasion. 166. Two words which, if used incorrectly, could make you suffer till divorce do you part. 167. Knitter, when told what to do with her needles. “ -what?!” 168. Tea is ingested in a different way. 171. Distressingly Deadly Toxin 173. What you shouldn’t wear if you want to win 175. This made John Dean blind (abbr) 176. It isn’t even even I 77. This question made me sick 161. 162.
wheri
\
100. The latest prefix 102. Sounds like a letter that is 103. Fun loving character (even a chimp, if not on CHCH, TV 11) 104. -Nerd (initials - archaic joke which; for some reason, is still funny) 106. Karate cry 108. Unflattering term for a mother-in-law 109. When insects survive man, this one will supply the social order 111. “I was --!‘I cried the painting 112. An interesting preposition 113. Pep 116. The man w’ho gets rid of all opposition does this for his country 117. I’-You Like It”, Shakespearean comedy 118. Top dogs (if they score enough of these, they’re bound to bel 222. Not fulli (prefix) 123. Shove in retaliation to this 127. Lemon and orange: the of March? 129. Letters not difficult to figure out 131. Press, fly, or stool 133. Person who lives (suffix) 134. Five’11 get you -couldn’t bluff your way out of this one (two words) 136. AlthoughtheCockneyhopesso,thisisnot poetic for opinions 137. ‘Female possessive (possessive female?) 138.. Ancient string instrument reputed to have been played by the great Tiny Tim (slang) 140. Order a stock broker cannot refuse 142. Apocalypse when? 143. Male beverage? 146. Green .slime which climbs walls andgives buildings an air of respectability 147. An answer well-suited to a businessman 149. Duo (dynamic or otherwise) 151. Latin salutation 152. I know all about this grassy moisture --. 7 157. Collective name for all the pot-bellied construction workers who drink beer while watching Monday Night Football and.. 164. things are always what the -to a tailor. 165. Irate chef: “I don’t knead this job!” 169. This am a doctor group (abbr) 170. Local photog (abbr) 171. we though he’d been k.o.‘ed, but he’d apparently o.d.‘d; in any case, this is how he arrived at the hospital (abbr) 172. Trivia question of the week: Who are Rick Azar, Pat Hannigan and Ted Darling (abbr) 173. Bogart: “It’s the stuff cans are made of.” 174. This question is enough to make you sick 179. It can equally apply totimeortheball (but it has nothing to do with relativity) 181. ‘Ow does ‘e explain this definition, Guv? Easy: ‘e ‘ad three odd letters wot made no sense! 182. A poisonous snake can make this of himself 183. Half a laugh 184. Short province 185. Your words are nothing but a mountainof empty letters (abbr) 187. Between a shot and give come two little words 188. Haalen, Morrison or truck tvoe 189. They go the watering hole i;l’spring [and youshouldseethemrunwhentheyfindoutthat its only water. or so the old joke goes.) 191. --, you be, he be (two words) 192. take note (common latin abbr) 196. The singularly third person 197. Chauvinist race? 198. So, when she said: “I bet you won’t be able to fit a Japanese sash into your puzzle”, I said: “Guess again, sweetheart.” 199. Representative with a reputation 201. No? Are you really a nerd, guy? 202. Musical abbr I can’t get out of my head 203. Shocking fish, perhaps 204. One would expect this to pop out of a cake at a stag party 206. Ant;-climactic Finish
DOWN 1. You have entered abbr alley: t,Fe terrorist organization closes in... the shadows when they hear your 2. . ..from I political affiliation... 3. . ..but you give them all sleep-inducing punches. Congratulations, you made it out alive! 4. Big Blowhard 5. Bored? This is something enjoyable ’ 6. In terms of reincarnation, the step above wr 7. The province whose finger always seems to get stuck in the pie (abbr) 8. Wherein yuu find room and board 9. Notch 14. Place where Dorothy belongs (abbr) 15. Prefix not to be used once or even twice 17. We would marry 18. At this time, Caesar began to march to a
135: 137. 139. 141. l-44. 145. 146.
(abb 148.
mok 150. 153. 154. 155. 156. 158. 159. 160.
/
88. Looks for the target 90. D.O. loves F.N. 91. At the core of 90 across? I doubt it “What ..,., what 105 across and what will 93. be.” 94. What? Us? fabbr) 96. Sticky sailor 98. Has the knack (even without case) 101. Agent 86 103. AJJ you need to see this answer is a pair of eyes 105. “What 93 across, what . . . . and what will be.”
Imprint
Rules for tRe Crossword Puzzle Contest
1. Entries should be brought or mailed to thelmprint office, CC 140, before 6 pm Tuesday afternoon. Entries should have the name, ID number and telephone number or address of the entrant(s). 2. A prizeoffifteendollars will beawarded tooneoftheentries (regardless of how many people contributed to its solution). After the deadline, the winning puzzle will bechosenat random from all of the completely cohrect solutions. The person(s) having completed the puzzle will then be notified of the decision. The results will be announced in the first Imprint of the next term. If there are no completely correct puzzles, the solution which has thegreatest number,ofcorrectanswerswiJJ be adjudged the winner. In thecaseofa tie, a random draw will occur. Note: partially finished puzzles will be accepted. 3. Entrants must be students, stafforfoculty at the University of Waterloo. Staff of the Imprint are not eligible to enter. 4. The creator of the puzzle, Ira Nayman, will judge the completeness of the entries; the judge’s decision is final. 5. Good luck!
Many vertebrates; most humans Merely l&l Even poetic 182. It claims to be the smallest thing around, but scientists disagree 186. The alphabet from cover to cover _ 187. Oh, no! J have created a monster! (What is this strange contraction?) 190. 1. L. meant that she hadsent mesomething romantic 193. A dog. a cat. a rock or a lover 194. To exist to Bea 195. Jt can be broken and robbed (but only one is socially acceptablej 196. That lady was almost a hero 197. The greater number in Rome 200. This is really the same as in fact 205. The lost honest man? J hope not 206. Having this in the hole could really come in handy. 206. Guy who comes on like a lion 208. Tuck’s partner 209. Not short enough to be a craze, not long enough to be a fashion 210 Sponkh bull-shout / 178.
179.
r,
\
60. This question is better left unmentioned 61. Daddio bursts 62. Unusually Regressive Idiocy? Let’s face it, URI could attack anybody (three words) 63. Measures which arkin sensible 64. Itty-bitty 68. To understand my kind of humour, you need an unfair advantage 69. Take it from me: keep an eye on this on thi5: recording company (abbr) 70. Additive answers 71. Since it rotted, no Ed. can keep pace 72. A long time 73. Devoted (not quite dessicated) 86. 168 across in the past tense (oh, we’re way past tents and into bungalows...) 89. With 96 down, what the man who wanted his money back on his potatoes ilaimed (two words) 90. See 89 down 92. Mr. Owen’s to have 94. If you disagree, you’re all this 95.. Erich Van Daniken’s forte (can he be said to be outstanding in his burnt field? - abbr) 97. Either/or, according to current statistics 99. DAN (this definition brought to you in conjunction with the Federation, unofficial suppliers to the 1980 Winier Olympics)
_
Comes the deluge! Congratulations to Neil Campbell for submitting the first completely correct answer. Keith Rowe, Ken Davidson and Alan Adamson, Brent Chrichton and Ted Hogg, Craig Halket, Brian Martin and Jeanette Lee and Dzeph Haentz also submitted correct answers while Michael Albert and Lynn Marsball, Peter Kristensen and Bernie Roehl were close enough to shake a stick at it.
.
Nooze
I -
None
Derailment
unleashes
gine, the tank cars
Friday afternoon. with the caboose
The box cars contained supplies destined fdr food
ySecurity was’tdd where tb park 1t
train carried 2 and 2 box cars,
.
0
“Today we declare the revolution!” said Raoul Quarterless, a third year Engineering student, in a speech to some of his fellow students in the Carl Pollock Hall Lounge. Quarterless, a noted EngSoc leader (recipient of the 1978 Monogrammed Pewter Straw Award) described a system to defeat the one and two quarter parking lot system. “Cars should have freedom of association too! If Security doesn’t agree-we trick ‘em!” His rousing speech described a system of _ co-operation between automobile driving students entering the payparking lots such as the notorious “M” lot in the northern campus. The first student in the “convoy” would , pay his quarters, blink his brakelights three times to signal that he was going to cooperate with the system, and with his hand out the window in the Vulcan “live long and prosper” sign, would signal as he drove through slowly, The rest of the cars in the line would
,
’
Mark McMuckin’Mire comment.
follow closely, at constant speed, keeping less than two feet between bumpers. “That’s the critical distance for the magnetic sensors under the gates. Keep metal over it, and we’re home free!” In an unsolicited statement, Al Romanoff, Czar of ~ UW Security, promised “...retribution against all students abusing our parking lots. These damn kids just don’t seem to realize we’re running a that business here. We have no recourse open to us but to get tough.” The students are getting tough, too. Two Security cars and a tow truck were boxed in and air let-out of their tires when they attempted to remove a convoy of vehicles. The officer at the kiosk reported that he was “bored to tears. Nobody asks me for change anymore!” Mark McMuck’n’Mire; President of the Federation of students was unavailable for comment, though his Vice President selfdeclared Ubermarshal
looking
pensive
-and
Peter Wigglyw.orm, said that the Federation Council planned “to recognize the Free- Parki’ng Association, if they’re Fed members,” and grant them funding in the form of two quarters per day. The association. has ‘three hundred members, and feels that they are underfunded, as they need access to more than one parking lot. ,Quarterless, leader of the FPA, believes that in less than two months free parking will be established on campus. With the 10s~ of funding, the security department will wither away, and he expects that shortly the wooden gates will be removed by the heating plant people to fuel their auxiliary boiler. Quarterless, commenting on the upcoming OFS referendum, asked. “What have they ever done for us? Heck, when it comes to the really important issues,, we have to do it ourselves-we didn’t even get a message of support. Freedom for Cars!” P.S. Onetwenty
obviously-
sleepy
unavailable
photo
, I \ I I
-I
Home of the Grandwich’”
for
by Liz Wouldn’t
. * TM
TRADE
MARK
0~
GRANDMA
LEES
INT
HLDG
LTD
I
TM
i 70% OFF I I I I
I I
---;;;)---------I)-
Any Purchase when you presentyourstudent IDcard -
-I)-
7,1979.
Misprint
3 -
“free
-
love”?
I
but a good time had by all
took place at the Columbia St. crossing at 3:30 last Along and en-
December
0
_-
.
hospitalized;
An investigation is .being made in-to the recent derailment of a 6 car freight train on a Waterloo CN line. The accident
,
Friday,
-
. -
services which included a large quantity of ‘mystery meat’ to be used for Monday’s supper. One tanker is believed to have contained nitrous-oxide, commonly known as laughing gas, while the other held nButyl nitrite, a known aphrodisiac. Campus security was first to arrive on the scene, but a massive crowd soon gathered. Security initiallycordonned off the area but were soon incapable of maintaining any kind of order. , Nick O’Shark, safety director, notified the Chemistry and Engineering Departments, and their experts arrived on the scene within 20 minutes. Upon their arrival, they observed throngs of students, staff and faculty laughing hysterically. They initially considered the scene to be a normal Friday afternoon situation, but soon determined that something was amiss as Mathsoc set up their coffee and doughnut concessions. Coffee was being served with monogrammed pewter straws. As the crowd grew larger
Waterloo Regional Police instigated their contingency plans for emergency evacuation. They initially attempted to control the crowd, but soon got into the spirit of things. Reports indicated that the nitrous oxide tank was leaking and it -was feared that the second tank containing the n-Butyl nitrite would be set loose by the enthusiastic crowd. Security did not seem to care whefh%r this occurred. Soon two enterprising engineering students found the release valve. Trickles of n-Butyl nitrite formed a large pool. The air was filled with the characteristic nButyl nitrite odour of unwashed feet. The effect, however, was more stimulating than the odour. The crowd receiving this effect soon began to disperse on its own in pairs, trios andgangs into the oncoming -night, many’stopping at the birth control centre on their way. They were seen to return periodically to check out the situation. The Peel Regional Police was summoned to bring the
Mathnews’ Dr. Button C. MathNews, President and man who would be king of the University of Waterloo, announced his resignation Tuesday at the annual ge-neral meeting of distaff and faulty members. MathNews had decided t-o end his term several minutes prior to-the meeting since, as he put it, he had“assured myself that my future was s’ecure. “A university today is such that it is not in anyone’s best interests to hold that position (univ’ersities no longer being a prime factor in social change). Ten years is quite enough.” MathNews will stay on for a period of six months, after which he is certain he will be succeeded by a janitor from Newark. He stated that he plans to become Prime Minister of Canada by 1981 and Supreme Emperor of the World by 1986. “I know it sounds ambitious,” MathNews admitted to the crowd of dozens which had turned out to hear him speak, “But I have, in fact, been working towards this goal for a number of years. “As most of you, I am sure, are aware, the computer in the Math and Computer building is prone to breaking down and slowing up in the running of programmes. All of you naiurally ,assumed, were led to assume, that this was a natural state of affairs due to the poor quality of the equipment. “In reality, I was using the computer during those periods, hooking it into other computers and computer networks and creating one vast network across the country and around the world. “A network which I control. I now have personal
experienced ‘Crowd Control and Evacuation Team’. The Squad arrived wearing protective clothing and gas masks, and soon began to attempt to clean up the situation. Crowds refused to all;w the police to get to -the derailment, knowing that their fun would be spoiled. Police then retreated to regroup at Tim’s Horny Donuts, knowing that the’ situation would blow itself out. Crowds did eventually disperse Saturday afternoon, tired but happy. Police and fire departments were then able to move in and clean up various bottles, cans, papers and balloons. The investigative squad of the Waterloo Regional Police are continuing their inquiries into the matter. It has been determined that the train’s engineer Mr. Bill, was in no way responsible for the derailment. The police have in custody, one suspect, Mr. Hands. Federation President Mark McMuck n’Mire was unavailable for comment.
h as ___ news
control of over 95% of the stored data in the world, 91% of all its money and 82% of the media.” To demonstrate the extent of his powers, MathNews announced that, at a given moment, all thelights on campus would go out, and that they would return precisely 5’3 seconds later. He then counted down the seconds until, right on cue, the lights were extinguished. They were turned back on precisely as he had outlined.
“I have been working towards creating conditions v;‘here countries are dissatisfied with themselves. In this area, I have taken advantage of the deaths of some of the greatest comic minds ever known, most notably Charlie Chaplin, Groucho Marx and S.J. Perelman. The death of comedians has been known to create an air of futility in society because of society’s tendency to connect it with the death of comedy itself.”
“The official story of what just occurred,” MathNews commented, “Is that somebody left. a pot of coffee brewing too long in one of the Engineering buildings causing a temporary short in one of the circuits of the computer we are installing in all the buildings on campus. I need not tell you that that is how the incident will be portrayed in all the media which I control.” MathNews was to discuss the new career courses (in Risk M ismanagement and Impatience, and a coop course in Refined Hairstyling and Toenail Clipping) to be offered at UW, but decided to merely g-lost instead. “I, of course, was responsible for the resignation of Pierre Trudeau as head of the Federa’l Liberal party. With the resources at my comfiand, only a fool would contend that I will have any trouble becoming leader of the party, then Prime Minister. With a majority.
Just when it appeared that MathNews was going to takecredit for World War II and the Russian revolution of 1917, he threw up his hands, deprecating himself for foolishly giving away many of his best ideas. He spent the rest of his time talking about the fondymemories of the university which he - would take with him. “When I think particularly of the Misprint,” he stated, “I shall chuckle.” Reaction to MathNews’ announcements was mixed; most members accepted his reasons for resigning as valid, but questioned his plans for the future. As one member pointed out, “Nuts!” Mark McM-uck’n’Mire was unavailable for comment.
’ “Gaining control of the entire world will, of course, be more difficult. Still, the seeds have been sown.”
If MathNews is to be believed, somewhere in Newark, New Jersey is an unemployed janitor who will be UW’s next President. On the other hand, if all of what he says can be believed, it really doesn’t matter who UW’s next President is. Irate Nomenclature
i
Nooze.
Friday,
Through
x-a Vadkrithrotcoti There comes a time in the course of human events when even the most noble and just of revolutionary organizations must pause and take inventory of its goals, its achievements, its pens and pencils andpaperclips and, yes, even its pewter straws, be they monogrammed or otherwise. This period of self-questioning may come at a time of crisis, when the moral binder twine which ho.lds the group together, the intellect&l tapioca which is the very glue of solidarity, theatens to break down in a cataclysmic disintegration of doubt and mixed metaphors. On the other hand, it may be due t,o boredom. But whatever the case, when it happens, this dilemma on whose ,horns those progressives get hung who, in a flurry of demonstrative adjectives find themselves entwined in a sentence from which there is, so to speak, no grammatically correct means of escape. When it happens, disaster is usually the result. Philosophies crumble, sweeping generalizatiQns retreat to the broom closet in the face of what was left under the rug, and. people are at a loss to come’up with sets of three descriptive phrases with which to embellish their sentences. Dogma is no longer impervious to obvious, tired- puns, and minds are shaken arid certainties toppled at the influx of that most dangerous of danger-
ous things, a little knowledge. So much for introductions. Here’s the facts. The paper has, apparently, come to realize the 6reat Truths lying in the VADKRITHROTCOTI’s statement of beliefs. The Vigorous and Democratic Kakistocracy Resolved Irrevocably To Have Ray On The Cover Of The Imprint has had its stated goal achieved. And, quite frankly, we’re at a loss to know what to do about it. It’s actually quite embarassing. This sort of thing isn’t-’ supposed to happen to progressive organizations. Here we are, a close-knit group with a purpose in life, something we can aim-towards as we sail on into middle age and senility: a destination that we can see in the distance, but that we don’t have to worry about reaching. We can shout, we can stamp otir feet;‘ive can do things that look an awful lot like steps in the direction we have chosen but which, on closer inspection, are only more shouting and stamping. And the beauty of it is that we’ll never run out oft hings to do. We can ignore all the inconsistencies that make this world too complex. for any one person to understand. We’re set for life! And then this blasted ,newspaper has to come along and blow us out of the water. So how are we supposed to feel? Grateful? Some journalistic jerkoffs come along and, in one fell swoop dump us
lives!
December
7,1979.
ati Aardvark
Misprint
4- -
Darkly
. ..And Sense ‘To None
back into the real world. Now that’s mean. Well, listen here, nice guys. You rngy think that you’ve appeased us, but we’re not going to fall for that line of malarky. And neither are the students. In the last referendum, not one student said that we didn’t have , his support-. That means that one hundred per cent of the students support us, and what we do. So here’s what we’re going to do. The VADKRITHROTCOTI realizes that the placement of Ray on the cover of this issue was not in fact an act of appeaseqent, but a declaration of all-out war. Never before in the history of antidemocracy has such an underhanded attempt to destroy a political group taken place. By complying with our requests and bringing about the achievement of our stated aim, you have made an obvious and feeble attempt to silence us . forever. But you shall not succeed. Though we now have no purpose for existing, yet we will exist. Even now our combined intellectual strength is hard at work finding a new cause that will mesh with our philosophies and our acronym. Until then, we will continue to single-mindedly do what we do under the transitional organizational name, Visibly Altered (Despite Knowirigly Repeated Interference) Team of Hardened Revolutionaries Out To Conquer Opression, Tyranny, and things that begin with the letter “I”. Long Live the VA(DKRI)THROTCOTI!! Denouce the underhanded policy of’appeasement by this P paper! Try not to giggle!!! Etienne Ottawa
DOO doo doo doo doot Doot doot doo doo doo doot DOO doo doo doo doot Doot doot dad doot (Suite,:’ Judy Blue Stills 6 Nash)
Eyes,
by
Crosby,
Some time during the past term, the first year student made yet another eerie, rather frightening discovery. This is not a discovery most first year students want to make. Few discoveries rarely are. It will have had hit him during one of the numerous as,signment collaborations. It might hit him during a lecture at which the prof is six chapters ahead of the’ class. The spectre of it haunts him, unless he is a she, in which case it haunts her, in varying degrees throughout the term until finally he gives it voice, in a voice seething with the frustrations of being a individual trapped uncaring _ _ in an unceasingly ,* world. This is University. It is not real. And when I say not, I mean not really, which is to say not really real. Have you ever had reason to stay awake for an entire day of classes? Concepts such as “nihilification” and “ontology” lose their relevance. During the second half of this period, which is not to say this period, since we are not in high school any more, your perceptions of time will be changed. Particularly if you get to handle ether in Chem 121L. Hi. My name is Irate Nomenclature. If feel that I should introduce myself to you because none of you have bothered to introduce you to myself. This is despite the fact that my brilliant condensations - of nonessential reality into fifteen column inches weekly earned me a notoriety second in this paper only to the Battered You-Know-Whats. It seems incredible now that on that day long ago when I first marched into the Misprint office and demanded my rights as an individual trapped in an uncaringly unceasing world, not a soul (or lack thereof) paid any attention. It was after repeated discussion with a harried editor that she was shown the error of her ways and proceededto bestow upon me a column. That’s too bad, for other than-a minor moral offense (stupidity), she hadn’t done anything not covertly legal (unless you count that incident with the state-organized racist attack), or not even legally covert. While my cdmpositions may have been somewhat -turgid due to my unwillingness to eschew obfuscation in lieu of clarity, you must doubtless have been comforted by the thought that these columns, like sugar pills with bitter coating, wer’e good for you.
only
Yet with the advent of the Christmas holidays in all their materialist glory, a break mbst come in this most alternative of educations. Even Cowznofski took a rest now and then. Life is stil’l a crock of shit. You can see the future, shining like a lump of gold. But I swear as we get closer, it looks more like a lump of coal. Now, take Charles, for example. Charles is an average student. Many’s the time I’ve heard Charles say (all right, this’ is ‘an assumption), “Irate, I’m as scared shitless by things I can’t understand as you are,” or “Irate, I wish I could bash people over the head with obvious stereotypes until their brains threaten to dribble out their nostrils.” But Charles can’t. Charles hasn’t got a clear, defined, rigid purpose. Charles hasn’t got a set of maxims, minims, and rituals to base his life upon. Charles is having too much fun. Now that’s no way to waste your youth. Charles has b‘uddies who think he’s a good guy, ladies who fawn over his bod (funky, aren’t I?) and an alcohol consumption far above average for his weight and age group. And let’s face it, friends, neither you or I are safe from such treats. Charles has been seduced. (At least a couple of times). And it is to unseduce people like Charles that I originally agreed to do this column. The final installment of this term was to reveal a truth so great that it would surely snap all the Charleses out of their selfish apathy into selfish activity. but the editor wouldn’t print it. Says it conflicts with ‘her principles. Besides, it would be a l’ogical point to revoke my columnhood at. And none of us wants that. So I shall continue to keep you informed as to my perceptions of things, those which are not imperceptible. I an-i still interested in finding’ out if my experiences are of benefit to you. Well, not my experiences, niy perceptions of my experiences. I’m still waiting for any of you to agree ordisagree with any of the views expressed herein or fo’rthwith so that I may convince you of the error of your ways. As to the great truth, I have placed a couple of subtle clues in this article. I wonder how many of you will spot it. ,{ You still want to hear about the strange title? It’s my mother’s name. So fuck off.
A REAL VACATION FOR CHRISTMAS Do you feel tired after your holidays? Do you overtax your body during your holidays instead of finding peace? Think of your jangled nerves, stiff spine, rounded shoulders, and ill ventilated lungs,coated with tar and hicotine; the result is shallow breathing, poor concentration and very little will power. What you need is a yoga winter vacation atour Yoga Camp on 250 acres of the Laurentian Mountains. Our daily schedule includes proper exercise, proper breathing, proper diet, proper
----_---
westmountplace pharmacy 88&70
__-_-_-______
relaxation, and positive thinking and meditation. We have day/night downhill skiing,crosscountryskiing with instruction and our own sauna. Join us for an eleven-day yoga iritensive personally conducted by Swami Wshnu Devananda, author of the million copy besttiller ‘7he Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga.”
DEC. 22 - JAN 2, $145 or $15.00 per day thru the Winter. -__-__-- _____- -_--__---_--_---
For free ill. brochure call or write to: SIVANANDA ASHRAM YOGA CAMP 8th Avenue, Val Morin, P.Q. JOT 2R0 (bl9) 322-3226 Montreal (514) 279-3545 Toronto (416) 863-0565
Send me free
illustrated
Enclo’sed
for the folowing
is $25
deposit
Zip Code YOGA Handbook q dates
-to
-r
,‘n’,t$~$!0~
must be 19 or over to enter the Pickle Cellar l ntrenco on north rid0
P’m’
YOU
of buildlnfJ
-
HOMEMADE SOUP AND COFFEE with purchase of any sandwich Mansize Corned Beef, Roast Beef or Ham on a Bun, cole slaw .,...................,....
1 50
Above with potatoes and vegetables . ......... 1 Chef’s Inspiration adifferentdailyentree with potatoes and vegetables . ... . . ...
Name
Address
L”F!ZYZ
99
1 99
A// the Pickles 30” can eat . . . 11-day lntenslve q
- Nooze -
Leather
Bore
. stays
Friday,
reticent indignation concerning their experiences on the premises. Others were more vocal in their objections, however: “This rude behaviour and disgusting manners have got to be stopped,” gasped one HKLS student. “I’ve been goosed four times by an umbrella case, flashed at by a raincoat, and the pencil cases are all going around with their flies at half mast. It’s indecent! she said, clutching at her wriggling art portfolio. Noting that the arrival of these products coincided with the recent derailment of tankers containing nitrous oxide and n-Butyl nitrite, spokesperson for purchasing Suzgnnah Stacks stopped fondling herrecently/ obtained camera bag long enough to confide,“We don’t know yet what kiiid of effect the chemical leaks had onour
shipment from Toronto. It was sitting in the unloading, depot the whole time. And , this is only the beginning,” said Stacks, “I hate to think what will happen when we unpack our ~consignment of monogrammed pewter straws.” Ensoc. “B” president J. Sylvester (Patch-the-dog) Swank denied any con- b nection between his society and the giftstore activities. “Anything gross like this, and it gets tossed in our laps,” he complained, contemplating the recently acquired raincoat cooing in his lap. Federation president Mark McMuck’n’Mire was unavailable for comme’nt. According to BEEP spokesperson Diana Cluck, “he just ran into his office with his new briefcase and locked the door.” Mmg Sandpaper
Cutbacks may be at an-end Two more grants were announced this week. They were given by the Special Council for Research into Environmental Work Services (SCREWS) and the Committee for the Resurrection of Underground Nuclear Clouds of Hawaii (CRUNCH). The total was $47.69. The SCREWS grant was awarded to Prof. IMA Nurd of Physics in the amount of $32.88 to study the effects of pollution from Meat Loaf reactors. Environmentalist groups have ‘complained that fish taken from waterways which have such plants situated on them bigin to taste like beef. The ES department will also be lending their support. The remaining $18.81 has been given to Food Services to improve the quality of its product. According to a representative from FS, the Satyrday morning breakfast next week will include six dozen fresh doughnutS. Further plans for the windfall are currently under discussions.
cancels
keeps
up with
The Campus Centre board today cancelled its planned Silent Film Festival.’ Festival coordinator Dave Burnout commented that,“We had to cancel out when we realized that the sound system in the CC just wasn’t up to it.”
the nooze. photo
by Liz Wouldn’t
What Do They Do For An Encore
HAVEYOUGOT FLYINGIN YOURBLOOD? HERE’SSOMETHING . , -=TOOUI~KEN YOURPULSE. The-Canadian Forces need pilots and navigators. If you’re aiming for a career in the air, we’ll help you get there. Officer candidates’ *................-..:. .......>:.:.*. ...f... .....*.*.......*. . ..*...-..a.5 ..........m.e.is.s.*.... .........................*.............. .:.:+:.>:.:.:.>:.>: .........A.............. ..*.a... ..........*... .-... .............*.5 ....,...A.. ..*.&.......... .......a.. ....A ..~I.~.-...-.*.~. ..A ...*.....*i. .-......2........t... -.-.*...a. ........*.*.*. ...C~.~.~.~.Z~.~.~.~.~./*.~.................. ...‘.i‘.:.~:.:.:.:.:.:.:.~ .....i................ .m...*.im.ie...*.. ..1....*i... .....*.*...*.&.*....V..... ....... are required right now .......,.:....... ....v.....*.*.iA.*.............. ..........v. ........_._.... -.:a ......-..:. ....+........ ........%.................. ....I......*...... ..*.........................A ....i......... .....a.: .............‘.::~::M:~.~~:......:.~ ......_ .........a..... .....*......+............ ......‘.‘.‘.‘.: ...A.. ..,.. .....‘..A.. ..,._.,., for aircrew training. You must be medically fit and have a grade 12 in a five-year or advanced program in Math, English, Science and Social Studies, History or Geography. To find out more about how to get your career plans off the >ground, contact your nearest Canadian Forces Recruiting Centre under Recruiting in the Yellow Pages or return the coupon.
~
-I---------------I--------
Director
of Recruiting
& Selection
I
-
I1 Address
I
II City
’
.
’ Prov.
L p--------c-----------------
.
I
Postal Code
J
I I I
’
favourite miracles and did a reading from His books. The lack of an audience worked against Him in strange ways however, and He was forced not to do a second set (cutting His performance time in half): After the show, God, the Omnipotent, was asked if He blamed Denise for the poor turnout. “Well,” He admitted, “I have had better advertising, but I don’t really think that, in this case, that was a factor. “I understand that students are getting ready. to study for their midterms, finishing off their projects or ‘doing other things important to themselves, and simply don’t have the time to come out to speak to Me. I was young once too, you’know?” He then proceeded to bless all the ‘reporters and those who had paid $7.50 to see Him. Mark McMuck’n’Mire, Federation President, was nowhere to be found, but he left a note on his door saying: “No comment.” Denise Oneliner was not put out by the poor response to this latest fiasco, and has plans for even 1 bigger activities for the next term. “Perhaps I can get the Beatles...” she said as she left the theatre.
ES Society declares onEngSoc
war
The UW Environmental Studiks Society has declared war on the Engineering Society, joining the other faculties in getting revenge for the past twenty years. Federation President Mark McMuck’n’Mire was unavailable for comment. ESS initiated the conflict with a three-way attack: the School of Urban Planning rezoned the Engineering buildings for limited agricultural use, Architecture redesi’gned Engineering Lectui;:e Hall, and Geography proceeded to write EngSoc off the map and divert Laurel Creek between Engineering 3 and 4. ESS representative Lorenzo Moo said that he was hopeful that ES would win. “The hardest part was obliterating Arts Lecture Hall, so we could put the creek there. Urban Planning and Architecture are going to turn the ruins into a re‘creationa! swimming, fishing, and rollerdisco park,” he said. “We may save Engineering 4 to use as a home for Man-Environment.”
CC, gets facelift, It looks like the Campqs Centre is going to get anotheI‘.round of redecoraa ting in the Federation’s ongoing attempt .to encourage student involvement. Or so says Deepknees Lowenbrau, high Federation official.
painting of the CC. Since there aren’t really enough walls to go around for,-
I I
[ Name
“I don’t believe it,” Denise Oneliner, Programming Co-ordinator of the Federation said of the turnout to the latest Fed sponsored event. “Only fifteen lousy people is...shit, I just can’t believe it at all!” She was, of course, referring to the appearance of The Lord Almighty, Creator of All Things in the Theatre of the Arts on Sunday morning. “The time yas right, the price wasn’t too bad...aargh!” she went on to say. His Majestic Holiness, Ruler Over ‘Us All, when told that the audience He was facing was all that He could expect, took the information in stride, laughing and joking with the crowd as He ran through -i brief list of His
“What we’re planning to do is give the students< a chance to.participate in the
N-CN-12-77
National Defence Headquarters Ottawa, Ontario, KlA OK2 I I I’m interested m talking about a career as a Pilot/Navigator m the I Canadian Forces. Please send me information without obligation.
I
I
5 ‘-
,Unde / rwear
CCB SFF
r l
Misprint
-
Burnout
Cluck
7,1979.
“livc%3’ up to reputation
We wouldlike to takethis opportunity of assuring dur readers that there is absalutely no truth in the ’ rumovr that the Open-Bore gift shop will be closed due to the violent and abusive behaviour of some of its recently arrived merchandise. Staff and students alike were astounded this past week at the curiously pointless actions of a large number, of rather lively leather products. “Honestly, when the invdice said ‘stimulated leather hand-bags’, we thought it was a type-o.” giggled store supervisor ’ Glen O’Gullable. . unidentified Several Math and Computer students were known to have spent the last three days wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles; the majority of customers have maintained an attitude of
Diana
December
thousands of students, we’re going to put up more partitions and pillars. This will also give the place a more ‘homey’ atmosphere.” ,’
Further, she said that the Pub would get a disco dance floor, complete with flash/ing lights and synchronized circuits. “However, this kind of thing is expensive, so we don’t want people stepping on it and maybe wrecking it. We plan to put it up on the wall. I mean, that way, only the really good dancers would get on it, and they’re not going to fall, are they? “And even if they do fall; they won’t fall on the floor.” Lowenbrau also revealed that the roof work which has been done on the CC was part of a plan to give the building more space; “The roof now stretches up an
-.
extra three inches when we want it to. It’s something that we feel is really needed, and it only cost us three billion dollars.” Other changes in the CC include:. 217B will become apermanent Straight Lib Office, dedicated to helping straights who feel that deep down they are normal. The CC sound system will be improved with the addition of several small coins to the t-onearm of the turntable. The turnkdy desk will be converted into a fireplace. Federation President Mark McMuck n’Mire was unavailable for comment. Frank .
._
.
.
I_.
Helptus -
_,
_
,
,
I ICORRECTIO’V re 1,979-.80H’andtqook Please notethat the extensibn listing for Eaton’s Travel on campus (page 97 of the Handbook) _ shoujd read 3362, not 3363. We apologize for any inconvenience:
Extended .
Hours
’
The ,EMS Library will be open -November 25 (SundaG) to.December 20 (Thursdsy), 8:OO AM to 2:00 AM.. There will bk no extension of services. ,YYFhe Arts Library will be open 8:OO AM to 12:OO . Midnigh-t during this period. , I ---
‘Cbsed-!ec. 2 1and reopening again Tues., Jan 2.Ifwecanbeofservicetoyou 6vqr thk holiday season, please ,Gontact the Apple Styfist, ’ Queen St. South. Phone 5799 I 2750.. : ., *.
Downstairs in the Campus Centre across from the bank’. ’
‘Tennis Squzish & GgIf ; : ,--\ L ‘
- -at *_
-Round trip &sf& to k&onto *International . &port - --:. I * -Round trip air folDaytqtia . -’ -Round tiip tiakfk’s’t6 Hotel iri Florida 1 ’ ’ Y I . -Accommodation for 7 nights ,I -__ . ’ -’ ’ -Plus more! _I - N& in&dgd: ’ , -Airtaxes . I -Hotel service charge and Tax .+Gel surcharges if applicable
. I For full details con& “ i.- k ,, Eaton’s travels ‘l- . _ -/
‘Sduths Cam/pus H&l 86S-12-I 1 I: ext. 3$62/3,760 ,’ r, -.
c
Misprint Reactionaries healthy and stable reactionaries Waterloo - Nuclear which leak are simply a fact of life and must be dealt with on a first come, first serviced basis. According to Professor Promytheus Babcapon there is no great danger to University of Waterloo students even if the two reactionaries do leak “now and then,” Babcapon is in charge of then reactionaries located in the university’s physics apartment. The reactionaries have been around since Easter he stated, and only three leaks have resulted. “We tried to repress these redctionary leaks,” he said “but they came at a time when we were short-handed due to radical changes in our waste disposal ares.” Reactionary waste used to be contained in the campus newspaper and then buried in white’sand at Columbia bLake, but protests and high costs have forcedachange.Foroverayearnowthe waste has been stored in granite in Timmins. In the event of an earthquake, Icarus Wilcapon explained that he would think about it after it happened and then would say “We’re working on it. No further comment.” Wilcapon is in charge of maintenance of the reactionaries. “They are healthy and stable” said Wilcapon in a quote and “are invaluable for research into measurem‘ent of mineral content in the brain.”
NFS says closing 102 universities- will limit accessibility O%wa and the provinces are arbitary and insensitive about their plans to close 102 universities and divert funds to Petro-Can before its sale to private industry. In a new paragraph, National Student Federation (NSF) researcher Bogie Birdie claims that thirteen briefs submitted to the government Haze Phase Education ,Committee were ignored even though they were sub-
M-shots
’
A South African firm has announced plans to market a special anti-riot, vehicle which broadcastsdisco music through powerful lou~d- c speakers in order to soothe the emotions of demonstrators. / . For rioters who do not appreciate the music, the dark-blue vehicle is also equipped with a water cannon and tear gas.
mitted three years prior to the election. The average age of the committee is 63.4 according to NSF chairperson Alley Daschund. “These people. are too old ‘and too care,” said. well-educate,d to will be Daschund, 23. “Education totally inaccesible.” A mass livingroom is planned for all mansions and unemployment lines some time in the past. In a different paragraph, Tory backbenchers refuted Birdie’s claim saying that all Canadians and for’eign, students enrolled in Pharmacy! will be offered “a share or two in the closed universities.”
Politically correct magazine profitable
‘Buggy ‘UBC student fails to save insects in residence VANCOUVER-A buggy University of B.C. student has failed in a campaign, which drew on tactics used in Greenpeace’s Save the Seals fight, ‘to stop the extermination of insect pests in residence. Ken Koebke launched a “Save Our &Silverfish” campaign aimed at stopping plans to spray the insects out of existence in residence apartments at UBC. “Now a UBC tragedy-will you stand by and let the silverfish be slaughtered?” asked one sign Koebke posted in the residence lobby. The poster also urged students to “Smash the state...not the silverfish.” Concerned-residents were asked to submit protest letters to Koebke’s mailbox but the campaign failed when exterminators came in, spraying closets, garbage areas and washrooms. Koebke said that although the campaig was a joke, he was disappoin Ped that no one replied to his plea. He added that he thought the spraying was really a plot to enable the RCMP to get into the rooms of students.
Friday,
,
December
7,1979.
Misprint
politically correct stories. “Oh, sure, ‘there’ll be sports and entertainment!” commented Nigel Awning, CUP field-worker. “The Chinese are doing great things in sports; and I guess we’ll cover movies that are advertised if they don’t exploit women, men, children, or boats.” Awning was at a loss to suggest a suitable film. Asked what the magazine would bet alled, Awning replied, “CUP is a democratic organization. We’ll call it what just about every member paper calls their CUP stuff. It’ll be named “CUP Shorts”.” CUP is guaranteeing returns no less , than the GNJR (gross national jokereal) and also guaranteeing at least 4200 paragraphs per issue. Twenty-seven papers have dropped out of Canadian Universal Pressbox.at last count.
Maureen McEvoy, Presi.dent of Canadian Universal Pressbox, announced today to all member papers that they would be combined into a Canadawide national magazine. “It’ll save campuses a lot of trouble. They won’t have to hire editors, or worry about getting many entertainment people to write about movies that aren’t politically car-rect anyway,” McEnvoy said in her statement, distributed through the CUP news service. Each campus would have one studentnew,spaperrep, who would report back to Ottawa every week; It was suggested, in view of the proximity between Laurier and Waterloo, that one rep would serve, but this plan was vetoed wh*mhe Federation learned that he would expect to use CC 140 as c a base. “We don’t let nobody use 140 unless we pull their strings,“” Steve “Screw” Connolly, FederFor more information ation executive, said today. phohe (416) 667-2211 “Laurier doesn’t help us, we don’t help them.” Waterloo would receive each week a twenty-four page colou$ glossy magazine replete with advertising and
Wintepfpammer Sbs$idn
and an application form, weekdays 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Disco to soothe the rioting masses. (ZNS)-Disco used against
music rioters.
may
soon
It’s not your first job that’s important! But <the one’after that, and the one after that. . . You’ve heard about new graduates who find that their first ’ run out of steam before they do. . . and then find there’3 no option in the company. That’s why you should be seriously considering Northern Telecom, an all-Canadian company and a world leader in the high-technology world of telecommunications. We’re big, still growing. . . and very, very successful. * As a new graduate in engineering, computer science, V L. business, commerce or other suitable disciplines, you will find you can put your talents and energy to good use with us. And we’ll give you management responsibility as fast as you’re ready for it. There’s ample opportunity to develop a number of possible career paths and, importantly, to keep your career on an* upward track. So, if you’re looking to the future, look to Northern Telecom . . . . and contact your campus placement office.
jobs
career
be
You’ll be needed’... when you’re a professional RIA Management Accountant.
There is a growing men and women professional of the RIA Accountant
demand wtth the
for.
study of and data
skills and insights Management A’nd no wonder
organizational management
Decisions are more crucial than ever in today’s economy Top management in business and government needs all the can get RIA’s gre uniquely qualified to play a part Why?
help
Because our educatlonal program goes. beyor-id a thorough
accounting, processing
computersIt also
includes such f leldc as com. mumcatIons and case analysis,
it,
behaviour processes
and So you
will be that rarest of all people a specialist with a broad point -of view !
program f Ive or
that
SIXyears
let tures or home study combined with on-thelob experience Hut many students who have completed equivalent postsecondary studies have finished the RIA program In less than two
years If you have
Because you stvdy while w&king, your c.areer WI,II move quickly from the very start of
edge
your
Management
RIA program 1t’s a demandrng
typically requires of evening
gve
thdwlll
TOOtIY’S,LEADERS IN TOMORROW’S TECHNOLOGIES.
to succeed
yourself the profetrlonal As a professional RIA Accountant
study
The Society of Manaement Accountants of Ontamo
\
7 _
D
WINTERHOCKEY SPECIALS -FROM UNITED TRAILS
Federa ion of Students
Notice
’
Uniuersi,ty of Waterloo
of Math
By-Election
.4TORONT0 - by bus
Nominations are now open to fill the Math regular seat on Students’ Council for the remajnder of the 1979-80 Council year. Nominations close on January 9,198O. Nomination forms may be picked up at the Fed office, room I 235 in the Campus Centre and must be returned to that office by 4:30 p.m. January 9,198O. Election Committee J
The Detroit Hockey Games
KS; Sotind
Schedule February 5 East-West All-Star Game(s) February 9 Philadelphia -February 10 Toronto February 16 Buffalo February 24. Minnesota March 2 Toronto April 2 Montreal
Price:
GRAY COACH SERVES DESIGNATED STOPS ON CAMPUS ‘At
UnitedTrails Group Sales I-800-265-981 1 BOOK Limited
EARLY! seats available
CYCLE & SPORTSLTD AGENT’FOR
Monday Monday
RETURN
Yamaha; Klark-Teknik, Shure
l l
l
l
l l
l l
(a specialty)
P.O. Box 400, Beaupre, Quebec (418) 827-4561 Snow
conditions
‘Good cheer customers.
!I
to our wonderful We%& grateful to
PARKDALE
TERMINAL
12.04 . 3.08
PM PM
TO CAMPUS
Friday
to
- Sundays
or Monday
. 8e30
PM
- Sundays
or
11.00
Subway Station 8.46 PM PM - Sundays or Monday Holidays via
Holidays
PLAZA
friends and one and all.
ir
-WATERLOO
FEATURING:
AIII l
l l
$’ II !
‘-
Jr
11 Varieties of Fish & Chips (Including Halibut) Clam Chowder l Eack Bacon on a Brqn Burgers l Steak On A Bun . Family Dining or Take-Out
HOLIDAY
HOURS.
Hours: Daily8AM-8 PM, Sunday 12 Nobn-8 PM Holiday Hours: Christmas Eve& I$ew Years Eve, Closed5PM Closed Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Years Day
Monday
Subway
TABLES AND POCKET MAIN FLOOR, CA.MPUS
of
the .Federation
EATON’S TRAVEL South Campus HaII 200 Universiiy Ave. West Telephone 885~ 12 1 1 Extensions 3 3 6 2 or 3 7 60
r
1EO
* Toll free, direct communication with Part du Mont-Sainte-Anne.
.
PM PM
- Monday
FOR TICKETS
jYMERRY CWRlSTMAS!f 1
l
MontrBal:* (514) 861-6670 Quebec: (4 18) 827-4579 Toronto: (416) 482-1796
PM PM
Information
SKIING
GOA
12.01 3.05
3.48 5.08
PM
Office
SKIING
Direction g&Wale des operations regionales
PM PM
7.30
TIME
of snow...and
I Gouvernement du CWbec MinisWe du Lolsir: de la Chasse et de la P&he
AM
3.45 5.05
TORONT0
401
SOUTH BUS STOP
Holidays
via
Station
11
l
16 PM
HOURLY BUS SERVICE EVERYDAY BETWEEN TORONTO AND KlTCHENER TERMI’NAL
886-6410
A mountain of pleasure
FROM
Flowers for all occasions ’ or just-because. .
Rd)
l
BUSES
Place
reasonable rates Plants specially selected We cater to students
. 150 km charted and patrolled trails . 9 heated relay stations along the trails Equipment rentals.
NORTH BUS STOP
to Friday to Friday
-.
Of
CROSS-COUNTRY
VIA HWY-
Islington
50 km of groomed hills ’ 14 lifts Over 9500 skiers an hour The only gondola in eastern Canada 625 m vertical drop; 800 m eievation at summit Slopes. beginners, intermediates, expert.s Season. November to May Ski school. Group or private lessons Ski week (5 consecutive days) Adult rates’ daily, $7 to $12 dependmg on day and lift; weekly, $36 to $50 depending on period.
l
North Entrance Entrance
Jf & FLOWER is *
skiina! ALPINE
the South
EXPRESS
lslington
Corsages
6 months
TIME TABLE
.
6.45
84 Yarmouth St., Guelpk 836-2620
8864340
N
28th
Fridays Fridays
REPAIRS TO AU MAKES - SKATEEXCHANGE CLOSED MONDAY’S 98 KING N WATERLOO (Just gridgcport
inside the
TO TO,RONTO LEAVE CAMPUS
Westmount
AUTHORIZED
Office inside
shelter
OCTOBER
Sales & Rentals
$25 per persbn includes game ticket and return motorcoach transportation. add All-
Administrative and at the
& Light1
’
(S) Please $3.00 for Star Game.
tbe
1j@
of
SCHEDULES CENTRE
Only: Students,
Campus
& INFORMATION:
Centre.
Friday,
-
To
our
Loaf
Energy
Controversy
chi1dre.A
Discovery Late in October, 1965, a sociology student conducting an experiment at Lindstadt College (then known as Gresham College] mad3 a startling discovery: those students who lived on campus had a higher incidence of cancer and leukemia than those who did not. In a study of the health of five hundred students chosen at random for his-random Health Study of Five Hundred College Students 151 course, Ron Fox noted that something about living on campus could reduce the life expectancy of the average student by as much as fifteen years. On the insistence of the department, Fox continued his research two months later with an exhaustive Study of the conditions under which students in residence lived. Among the over four hundred factors studied were such diverse elements as collar size, sock colour and favorite pudding flavour. None of these considerations were of any use, though, and Fox was about to abandon the project, when, in a stroke of good fortune which could only be referred to as serendipitous, the solution was found. One evening, the Health Services Department oft he College was called into the cafeteria by numerous complaints of a certain touch of ‘greenness’ in the rice pudding. An entire meal was salvaged, and, to the complete surprise of all concerned, the cause of the problems was radiation traced back to the meat loaf served that evening. This conclusion wasnot easily arrived at: there were few people who, having gotten sick from eating it the first time it wasserved, dared eat it again. However, a study of the incidence of acute gastric illness on the nights when the meat loa& was served proved that a direct
1-
7,1979.
Misprint
9 _
-
children’s
children
similar to those of plutonium. Stewart Crowley, Benson Pong, et al** worked on the problems of isolating the radioactive elements of the dish (mainly by getting rid of what little meat existed in it) for that entire term, to the exclusion of all else. They failed (all their courses) but went on to win the Nobel Prizes in Physics for the discovery of ML 238. ML 238 was an isotope of the meat loaf which immediately was recognized as having marketable potential in the field of energy. The researchers were soon swamped by offers from national ’ and multinational corporations to help develop ‘meat loaf energy’. Within amatter of months, researchers around the world were
correlation between the two existed. Fox, getting wind of these findings, quickly amended his own report. “The food in question,” it stated, “seems to emit some strange new source of radiation which has a seriously adverse effect on the human nervous system (death, for example). Thus, indigestion is not a factor in radiation poisoning, only prolonged exposure.“* Fox’s study, because of the alleged ridiculousness of its conclusion, was ignored by the faculty which had sponsored it. Therefore, it wasn’t until next fall when a member of the engineering faculty noticed that the effects of meat loaf radiation on the human body were --
‘_
I)water enters system from fake 2Jpump speeds water to‘wards ML 238 3j’impurifier’ turns water to thick ‘gravy’ 4)water, .exposed to heated ML 238, turns to sludge 5JsJudge turns tu.rbines . 6JsJudge is cooled, condenses to ‘gravy’ 7)‘gravy’ is purified (almost) 8)water returns to lake
December
*
working on ways of harnessing the fie.ry food, looking for alternatives to such conventional forms of energy as coal, oil, and nuclear power. While it has yet to totallyreplaceallotherforms in commercial use, loaf energy has expanded into a multibillion dollar industry.
The Process In 1973, scientists at the MultiTronicTechnoStructure LabsinFloridadevelopedthe first working model of the loaf reactor. In it, water from a nearby lake was pumped past a serving of the irradiated meat which had been kept warm in an oven. This caused the water to turn into steam. The steamswas then forced to drive a turbine to generate electricity. It was then condensed and returned to the lake. Unfortunately, good as the system may seem on paper, it had one major, rather basic, drawback: more energy was used in pumping the water than was created by turning the turbines. Obviously, a rethinking of the problem was in order. Soon after, a modified version of the MTTSL reactor came out from behind the iron curtain. In it, the water was treated with chemicals so as to gain the most benefit from passing by the ML 238. The technical term for water so treated is ‘gravy’. Upon passing by the loaf, the gravy undergoes a change of state and turns into a thick grey ooze called ‘sludge’. Scientists are at a loss to explain why, but this sludge is far more effective in turning a specially modified turbine than the steam was at turning the normal one. In any,case, it is the’n returned to its gravy state, perfectly purified (well, almost) and the resulting water is returned to the lake from which it came. ’ ML 238 (so called because it is supposed to continued on page IO
Bachelor
of Education
When you have completed your undergraduate degree, Nipissing offers you a one-year program lepding to the Bachelor of Education degree and the Ontario Teacher’s Certificate. Through this program you select a double concentration in either the primary-junior grades or the junior-intermediate grades. Our beautiful 720 acre campus is a natural outdoor recreation centre with nature trails, a small lake, ski trails and townhouse residences. Spend your next year at Nipissing University College. You’ll enjoy learning and living in Northern Ontario.
r For moreinformation fill out this coupon and mail it to: 0 Bachelor of Education The Registrar’s Office Optional Courses Nipissing University College q Education of Natfve Box 5002, Gormanville Road Canadians NORTH BAY. Ontario. Pl B 8L7 (705) 474-3450 0 French as a Second Language 0 Music 0 Special Education NAME ADDRESS
UNIVERSITY
’
I II 1’ . 1
I I I I I I I I
f Science. continued from page 9 contain 238 calories) has proven to be the most effective form of irradiated meat loaf. As it occurs naturally (in the kitchens of Lindstadt College), only one part in four is useable; therefore, it has to go through a process of refinement before being used. The first reactor to be constructed in Canada (the Bruce Hood Generating Plant) startled the scientific commu.nity with quite an innovation in the field: the mat loaf’s radiation levels were modified by special damping rods, known in the business as ‘tenderizing forks’. This allowed technicians to control reactions to a hitherto unheard of degree. So crucial was it that tenderizing forks are now used in most reactors in the world today. With the proliferation of meat loaf energy across North America, research continued, paying off in a second type of loafreactor: the so called ‘bleeder’ reactor. This generator uses the raw meat directly from the butcher. Opinion in sdientific circles is divided as to whether it is more effective in creating energy than the normal reactor. Social Concerns With the creation of the first meat loaf reactor, there has beenstrongpublicreaction to the science of loaf physics. Females Against Loaf Energy (FALE) was formed in Chicago in the winter of 1974, but, due to its name more than anything else, it was, doomed not to succeed. Since then, hundreds of organizations in the United States and Canada [and around the world) have sprung up in protest of the growing lo’af industry. There are four basic objections to the use of loaf energy: 1) ML 238is anunstable substance, and if not handled corr&ctl.y, could blow up and spray the surrounding countryside wit’h deadly radiation (meat loaf radiation has been known to cause ‘death by nutrition’inlaboratory rats): 2). that-the fish in lakes taste like meat loaf because the purifying process in nearby
Pose and Proetry
Bring Bring Bring Bring
v
reactors is not perfect; 3) meat loaf reactors have been known to leak radiation into the atmosphere (inexplicably creating a thick fog), and 4) in the case of war, ML 238 can be a terrifying weapon (political prisoners; prisoners of war and/or terrorist’s hostages could conceivably be force-fed the deadly substance). To these objections, individual scientists have said “Ha!“. As a whole, however, the scientific community has not been able tore’ach a censensus on the safety of loaf reactors. This indecision on their part has only fanned the flames of controversy. Further contributing to these feelings of discontent are the recent disclosures that both the United States and Russia have used extensive underground tests in determining the destructive potential of loaf energy. Although the tests were disappointing (seven out of eight loaves merely sat in the caverns and radiated), public opinion condemned both governments. Of course, for some inexplicable reason, public opinion has also. condemned the Dallas Cowboys, so perhaps it would be best to ignore it. Although fifteen reactors were supposed to be built in the United States by the end of 1979, work on five has been cancelled, work on two has been delayed and work on a further one has ,been called .1 * on account . 010 rain, . 1. *.a .1 limiting tne number o,f existing reactors to seven. The Americ,an government, although hard-pressed for sources of energy, does not appear to be wholeheartedly embracing meat loaf energy. This can obviously be attributed to the feelings of the Americanpublic...but that’s acheap shot.
The
Future
Who knows? Irate Nomenclature L and Benny Roll “Fox, R. “All This and Dinner, Too”, Unpub. mss. **Crowiey, Pong, Bindiestiff, Roskolnikoff and Godot, “High Energy Applications of the Cuisinart”, Iournai of Culinary Physics, XXVIII/3 (1966).
_
I will not cease from Letter Write, My Classifieds will burst with Rage Till we have seen Ray Butterworth On Imprint’s bourgeois frontal Page.
And did that face in’ ancient tim-e ’ Shine upon Imprint’s hed and foot? And was the beamish smile of Ray U On Imprint’s artless cover put?
William
Bloke, official poet of the VAD-KRI~THROTCOTI
“And did those pearly Whites Divine Shine forth like Dragushan’s and Hull’s? And was our Office-Mate featured here Among the boring Arti-culls? ’
-‘nux
vomica
-\r-r
Seeds Waterloo Saturday’s
has
done
me my Pen of burning gold: me my Camera, SLR: . me my Typewriter Bold! CompuGraphic Jun-i-arr.
-
of content? it
again.
Where
is the ehtranceway to play my, my, oh my - where’s Denise Such lyrics epitomizing their pythian roots (the Seeds are from out of town). Midway through the jam, peanut butter on toast was served to all the people with red hats on. This was done because Denise Darling (Board of Detainment) decided a large, pricey name band like this wouldn’t entice the students to go unless they had some ulterior motive.
Last
Seeds concert in the PAC was a nux vomica. The slovenly audience, chiefly comprised of student and drug-type elements, initially appeared angry at having to reveal their pupil diameters upon entry into the PAC. But this minor distraction was soon forgotten as the Seeds mdde their entrance 25 minutes early. This reviewer was still lined up in front of the arithmetic building when the band first began to play “Where is the entrance way to play Well, I’ve been trying hard all day Well, all I want is some love from you To have some fun making love to you But they keep you locked away j Like pheasant under glass, you’re wilting away Where is the entranceway to play Well, I’ve been trying hard all day Where is the entranceway to play
Oh,
The band’s backdrop incorporated what were apparently several rhinestone-encrusted gelatinGus cubes, although some sources claim that the objects were, in fact, monogrammed pewter straws. By the end of the show, everyone was a-clappin’ their hands and singin ’ “Here come the Flower Children Girls”. Truly, even the Mert Bethune family had a good time.
?iTRIUMHL.ACCIilIMEDWORLDWIDi! m Connoisseurs of screen acting at its best wouldbe wise not to miss AUTUMN SONATA. A histrionic tourde=force that could easily result in two Academy Award nominations. Clyde
Gilmour
/TORONTO
m$ergman and Ullmann: both are’superb! LIV Ullmann has never given a performance Jay Scott
/THE
0
STAR
like it,
GLOBE
AND MAIL
m The finest drama I have seen this year. Bernard
5rewlGannett
E lliuminates while setting the senses aquiver. BERGMAN IS IN TOP FORM. 111An absolutely
stunning
Joe
Gelmlsl
and devastating
film.
Jeffrey
Lyons/
Newsday WPIX-TV
l ingrid Bergman gives her finest in ingmar Bergman’s new masterpiece, AUTUMN SONATA. Judrth
m
iNGRiD BERGMAN’S
CROWNING
CnstlNew
York
Daily
TRIUMPH...
‘y
William
News
Wolf/Cue
m Ingrid and Liv outdoing themselves in ASTONISHING AND OVERWHELMING PERFORMANCES. Archer
WmsfonlNew
York
Post
q THE BEST BERGMAN’S FiLMJti YEARS... ingrid Bergman, definitely one of the finest of screen actresses, and Liv Ulimann, superb, in a pairing that simply must not be missed... Jack KrolllNewsweek m Bergman directing Bergman for the first time just has to be one of the movie milestones of the decade. Rex Reed b A MASTERPIECE.., r Vincent Canbyl New York Times m Wilt rank among Bergman’s lasting works. Every moment, every single moment is true and forceful. A CLASSIC... ._ Stanley Kauffmann / New Republic m A sPLEiwi3 AND FASCINATING MOVIE. Norma
m Profoundly moving, deeply thoughtfull, acted... OVERWHELMING. Davrd
Sterritt/Chrrstian
McLainlAfter
Dark
briiiia~tiy Science
Monitor
a"dINGRID ,BERGMAN BERGMAN .ULLMANN .
a fibmy INGw
with
Lw
Entirely
in English
--
Starts Friday 2 showsnightly FredehCk & Edna - Telephone57M670
at
7
:oo
&
g:oo
PM
-
Will i
Romero
the
at;it
world
The movie blurb says, “In space, you can’t make a rest stop,“and one would have to credit producer George A. Romero (who has produced such classics as “Night of the Bored Dead” and “Dusk of the Evening of the Afternoon of the High Tea of the Bored the Dead”) with this, for it is clearly underlying philosophy of his work. And what a perfect example this film is.
again
-
survive
Although the movie is loaded with talent (Margot Kidder, Charles Bronson, Dean Martin, Ruth Gordon, Michael York and Charlton Heston as the Beaver) it is still the story which is important. The storyline here is simple, yet highly effective. Basically, a group of space travellers are looking for a place to shit. Seeing the Earth (a nice comment on pollution here), they decide to
0
Restaurant
West Mill St., Elora Allyoucaneat!
$420 Thursday
night
is
Gorge Night Entertainment with folk singer
Java Jive Live Entertainment
Friday & Saturday
land. While they’re occupied, a crazed student (played by Kidder), armed with a gelatinous cube, tries to kill them. It sounds so simple, and yet it is. The tension as Bronson realizes he has drowned in a urinal is nicely underplayed and we have to credit cinematographer Geoffrey Geophry’s innovative technique of leaving the lens cover on the camera for this. This tension further builds until Gordon meets her inevitable end at the hands of a meat grinder. Romero has outdone himself. Just to point out a few of the high F+ ints (and there are so many) would take the rest of this article. Romero’s highly developed sense of pacing carries him well here. He has made a definite point of including a beginning, a middle, and an end in this movie, and I think we will see more of this trend in the future. Romero intersperses moments of (dare I say it?) high Terran with low comedy the scene between the gelatinous cube and Bill Cosby (in a cameo) is going to ‘become a classic in cinema. I was talking about pacing. Romero’s treatment of the climax of the film is an excellent example of this. Instead of using hackneyed techniques such as close-ups during the assault on Iwo Jima (a twist ending that has to be seen to be believed), he has used a long pan which gives one an idea of how infinitesimal we are in this. universe. Of course, no - one knew quite what was happening on screen, but every technique has its own small disadvantages. Margot Kidder gives a ’ beautiful performance as the student mad with constipaentire film tion (the revolves, as you may have
surmised, over how our excretory habits can both divide us and unite us), and I think she’ll be up for a Johnny this year. Bronson runs the gamut of his emotional spectrum, -and manages to involve us in the plight of the ‘alien plumber. Martin does well as the alcoholic pilot of the alien craft smitten with earthly marshmallow saleswoman. ‘Ruth 1 Gordon is simply superb in the first part of the film as an alien, and in thetlater part as a Big Mat. Heston as the Beaver? Well, hey, Chuck Heston is Chuck Heston and what more can I add to that. Maybe, though, Heston’s talent is...too big for the part as written. However, I hear that Romero is writing a spinoff movie (tentatively titled “Federation president Mark McMuck n’Mire was unavailable for comment”). “Terran.” If you see one movie this year, . and you’ve already seen it, keep your eyes closed during this one.
Chris Bisset
cl
Creative white space
Good at Westmount Place Shopping Centre, University and Westmount
Rd.
arat brilliant cut diamond. ; gold settings.
Snecial S17Y .O”pair aiamona
SnecialW4Y
.“” pair
\A/
’
Our great after Christmtis If
Sale onnow! allStereo Components reduced 37 / 37 watts walnut
‘High Per Sound BE
WISE GIVE
IN THE
WAYS
OF
HER A DAZZLING
CHRISTMAS..
omponent I glass door
.
DIAMOND
It’s a wise man who knows the ways of his tru,e love. The certain yay to her heart is a shining diamond gift.. . and it needn’t cost a fortune. A ring, pin, or necklace to glow with icy fire. . . A diamond burning bright for all the Christmases to come because you’re wise in the ways of giving.
Speakers not emctly as shown *
30 KING ST. W. KITCHENER
b
4
HAVEA SAFE ’ AND HAPP.Y . HC)LlDA Y
System
SEE YOU IN 79.80
Mfgrs.
UNITED TRAILS AIRPORTER Scheduled Service 7 days
45 Call fokedule
per
week
or see your local travel
Sugg.
79
-.Best Buy at
List $1266.90
l-!gi% SL-2 10 Servo belt drive turntable
Dolby
Cassette
95
Deck
agent.
to
6 UNIT6lilTRAILS . Phone 578-0110
’
per person from KitchenerWaterloo
The Airporter is in addition our 0007 -to-Door .
i
Technics SA-340 AM-FM Stereo Receiver 37/37 watts Technics SL-B2K turntable with automatic shut off and AT 11 E Cartridge Technics SH-514 component stand with glass door 2 x Studiotone M-45 speaker systems 12” 3-way
Cambridge
653-3931
with
Shure
tri%lge 232.95
.
M70,
Mfgrs.
Ej Car-
sugg.
Best
Manufacturers
buy Sugg.
list
at
. High able Mfgrs.
149
95
performance relicassette deck. sugg. Jist 289.95
Best
199
95
.
buy at
List Prices are for identification only and do not.necessarily our regular selling price or that of the market place.
represent
Lay \ away Visa Master Charge Personalized Charge Card
Service on Premises
Since
Free Delivery
FUN ‘N’ GAMES NIGHT in a relaxing atmosphere l @Pinball
1956
You’llhearmorebm us.
Shuffleboard
,
.\I
FREE
-Classified * 4A
excellent condition-70000 miles. Best offer. Must
4A
Yirelli MS-35SM snow tires. Mounted and balanced on
Experkncd typist lBM tYPewriter Will
Wed.-Lil MacDonald & The Evan Graham Trio
/
/
I
Thurs.-Jazz “AIRLINES
& Blues with QUINT-ET”
Fri.&Sat.Tom Sat.
4-7
f
Wilson
pm--Sensation -Dixieland-
Jazz
Band
4 4
Service Sunday, December :
sell. 9-, 1979 1 011John578-3935:
9:oo p.m.
:
Mnl~ kitten -7’ months old, neutered, delclawed and house trained. Very affectionate. Call 884-21 17,. ask for Ka’thy. TLyping t~rmpaprs, diswrtations, letters. English, Germany, French. Prompt service, reasonable rates.
’
744-9393. with tYPe
RT LOUNGE rs., Fri., Sat. .-1 a.m.
-
$ dcince, + and prayer. *Refreshments $ Ty&g ’ 4 foUow. readings,
homily
!
dents per page. Can pick and deliver. Calf 579-6128.
UP
4
aiwilirhl~
4 4.
$ Sponsored
cents
to
by the OW ChaplainsAssociation
,g44444444444444444444444444
4
alid
per
sheet.
deliver
Can
if
nt
70
pick
up
necessarv.
4 CalI Mrs. &San Bardell it
+
653-3084.
~~~e~~e~a,~~(fh~f~~~;
1
4245. ‘~J-[li!?~--PSSfl~S,
ports,
ience, Phone
thPSt?S,
etc.
i-P-
10 years experIBM typewriter. 745-8313 evenings.
by fi’c); Laidlw
Limit
-
.
ITWrY
.,Tucker’s
One per customer
A Whole Foodeatingplace
117 WeberSt. W.,Kitchener(Opp.StationHotel)Tel.745-4471
CurrentMenu:’ Salads,sandwiches,beverages including coffee, juices, herbal teas, bakedgoods, fruitsand munchies. Future Menu: Sdups, Falafels, variety of international vegetariandishes ’ and baked-goods Hours: 9rOO-TOO Saturday . ll:OO-7:00 Monday-Friday ll:OO-11:OO Sundays LiveMusic: StartingSunday December 16 at 8:00 PM December 16: The Beirdoz (Glen Soulis and Sandy MacDonald) -Y Dec. 23: Bob Burchill Dec. 30: Gord Lowe Jan6: Dennis Mclauchlan 2
Ontario rennetless
natural juices l apple butter l honey l maple syrup l cooking and medicinal herbs and spices cheese
. . ..*................................................................... almonds, whole, unblanched natural grape juice . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . .
l
(Covercharge:$Z.OO) 1 ’
Parkdale
empty
YOUR SKATE L BIKE HEADQUARTERS
CYCLE
C SPORTS
YOUR SPORTS HEADQUARTERS
OLDHWY35ACROSSFROMK-WSTOCKYARDS, CLOSEDSUNDAYANDMONDAY
RADE UP IICYCLES
LTD B9 ’
Pharmacy
, 468 Albert St. Waterloo (Parkdale Plaza) 884-3860
:’
(iiizif: MENS SPORTS
BOYS I ADILS EQUIPMENT FTC
\ Open 9 - 9 Mon. - Sat. Noon - 6 Sunday
Local prescriptions delivered
Waterl-oo
Taxi .
I Ltd Kitchen& to Waterloo Waterloo to Kitchener and -insideWaterloo
86-I
.
1 The Exam, 1 El El m
I!
I stare at the stars for some time, then turn and a,nnounce, “heads”. The coin is thrown and goes up and up, spinning. Everyone holds his breath, all eyes on the small silver disc. The coin lands on a velvet covered table prepared for that very purpose. The Master of Ceremonies and his two assistants examine it, the official photograph is taken. I wait shifting from one foot to the other swallowing and sweating. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” begins the Master of the Ceremonies, then pauses as the drums growl, “‘heads’ it is!” He would like to continue but he can’t, the roar of the cheering crowd is simply deafening. At last, it quiets down. “Mr. Kozlinski, on behalf of the Commission, I congratulate you on your passing of the exam. You have just demonstrated your ability as a Seer and afe henceforth entitled to the practice of the Profession with all its accruing rights and privileges.” Everyone cheers. “At last, at last,” I think, “I’m licenced, oh, what luck!“, then faint.
Wojtek
0
\ Another
long
ovation
on another
l6ng
And the crowd sings to the sound of the horn, For the songs know no age, And the crowd sings, and small groups form. Are they trying to rush the stage?
111 e
Kozlinski
Richard tries to imagine where He’ll find fame and hide it there. ‘It’s nice that they can identify, But it’s no? something we can ail live by.” Richard’s world is crumbling in reams Of doubt. So sad. He’s insecure. Seems he’s troubled by terrible dreams... Something about being dumb aftd poor? Doug
Graphics
night.
b\y John
McFarland
and Karen
mes cheveux s’est place; a laisse: blanc d’ivoire.
noirs
Nous disions “vous” sans audace mais nous nous tenions la main, et quand nous disions “demain” c’etait comme un autre espace.
with greens and reds. And as if he were standing in a bushy pine tree, Luke . Luke woke to the tinny sound of an couldn’t move. People were eve’rywhere. AM top song (“Pop Music”, coaching At least there was one advantage to him to pop out of bed). He lay in bed . last minute Christmasshopping quietly rejoicing in those first few evervone would be meiry in anticipation minutes of the day when he felt of the next day’s festivities. Dodging absolutely no sense of urgency. customers bearing bundles of paper The pop song was interrupted by bags, Luke-stepped into the nearest sweet ringing voices chiming a faintly store. He decided to make the best of his famiiiar song. -What was it? Luke predicament and saluted a fellow lasthummed along until he finally minuter with “Merry Christmas!” His recognized it: “We Wish You a Merry address was countered by a cold glare. Christmas”. He sat up with a start, Oh well, there always was one ,in the desperately hoping that he was crowd. But by the time Luke had entered dreaming. However, when he was more his ninth store (still without any prospect firmly rooted in the waking world, he of finding any appropriate gifts) he tried to reassure himself: surely it noticed that the Christmas spirit had couldn’t be Christmas yet - the last somehow passed over the shopping time he remembered being awake, it centre. was Hallowe’en. He increased the Luke paused at the entrance of the volume on his radio, and a booming ’ store. Weary now, he watched the chaos frantic voice was now urging “all those before him. The mass of bodies was in late shoppers” to hurry to the nearest turmoil as arms and legs bumped, store to do their last minute Christmas .kicked, pushed, pulled and punched., shopping. Sweaty faces either wore bland Well, at least it wasn’t Christmas Day! expressions, or showed frustration and \ It must be Christmas Eve. And poor Luke aggravation. Luke looked away but his hadn’t done any Christmas shopping. He eyes were still riveted on an identical hurriedly dressed and strode out of his __ scene. He was startled until he realized apartment, not pausing just yet to he’d been watching through a mirror. question how ahd why he had slept so long. There was no wasting time now. His mind was already formulating a mental list of all those for whom he had to buy a gift. It was quite warm for a Christmas Eve, and there still wasn’t any sriow on the ground. The shopping centre was just a couple & blocks away, and already the flow of the crowd on the street was sucking him towards the revolving doors. He pushed his way into the mall and stood still not knowing where to start. Someone brushed briskly by him, butting
.
,
-
Comme une brille irisee s’elevait notre romance, proie facile et sans defense pour qui la voulait briser. La vie a suivi son tours loin des rives enchantees. II faut rire, il faut chanter puisqu’il n’est point de recours. C’est la saison- des vendanges mais les rosiers sont fletris. La-haut, un nuage gris: un souvenir qu’on derange. /
Manning
Aubin
him back into the glass do&s. He looked aropnd to see the culprit and caught a glimpse of a receding plump fellow, . dressed all in red. In the spirit qf Qristmas, he chuckled as he reentered the maul. He felt as though he was in the midst of a giant Christmas tree, so intensely decorated was the shopping centre: life size elves and Santa Claus’s hung high above his head; $ilver and gold garland formed a maze of dewy webs across the great expanse of the ceiling; every store window was decorated extravagantly
’ Un jou’r, su.r I un papillon une aile il y Une meche
VOII
The Spectre of Christmas Diane
C’etait un matin d’hiver, il gelai‘t a.pierre fendre. Ma vie etait dodce et tendre: un bouquet de primevevres.
Presents
He turned abruptly away from the boxing match, determined to get his shopping over-with as soon ai possible. Those craft shops that sell everithingyou-ever-wanted-to-own-but-wouidnever-use were always g&at when all else failed. Luke dashed-in and bought ten stuffed frogs (that could, after all, serve as paper weights, or pin cushions). He grabbed gift wrapping at the nearest novelty shop and with a growing feeling of apprehension, he hastily escaped the maze of crazy shoppers. The quiet and solitude of his apartment comforted Luke, and he was now able to reflect on the day’s events. He recalled those da s, so long ago, when selecting gifts i or loved ones was done with care. He sighed. Now, it seemed that everyone had abandoned hope of escaping the powerful grasp of commercialism. Everyone had become sheep of a modern shepherd. Was the old Shepherd gone from their minds f&ever? Wearied and depressed, Luke slept again. He dreamt he met Jesus at the shopping centre. The young boy was staring at a woolen shawl which He yearned to purchase for His Mother. But
his desolate expression revealed that He had no money to buy it for Her. Luke stepped into his dream to offer Jesus all Fe money he had so that He could afford the shawl. But each time Luke withdrew his hands from his pockets, he held a stuffed frog. He kept searching for money, reaching into his coat, his pants, his wallet - but always the stuffed frogs appeared. Soon they began leaping out from everywhere on his body - out of his shoes, from his hair, from inside his shirt - and they began to pile up arouhd him until he was entirely surrounded by . slimy sweaty green and red frogs. He could feel them leaping and leering as their arms and legs bumped, kicked, pushed, pulled and punched. The noise from their chirping grew in crescendo until every sound from the inflated throats blended into the sarcastic repetition of two words: “MER-RYCHRIST-MAS-MER-RY-CHRISTMAS...” Luke awoke drenched in sweat. He resolved to dwell on his former thoughts no more and proceeded to wrap his frog gifts. When he had carefully labelled . each package individually, he placed them in a suitcase he would take home the next day. His excitement grew in a&icipation of celebrating with his family as he drove towards home Christmas morning. The feeling of r&newaI that so had always accompanied Christ’s birthday began again to refresh Luke and lifted away his burdens of the day before. He began to bellow out his favorite carols, in the privacy of his car (cars often have the same effect as showers when it comes \ ’ to singing alone). He was still whistling “Joy to the World” when he bounded out of the car and ran into his house “Merry Christmas Everyone! I’m Home! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” The ensuing silence slapped him in the face. Nobody was home. But surely they would be home soon. L.uke walked into the family room and unloaded his fr’ogs onto a table (because he couldn’t find the Christmas tree).Then he settled himself into a chair to await his mother and father a,nd sisters and biothers, whom he expbcted presently. .I And so it was that on,November 2, 1979, Luke St. James was found at his home, heaped over the green and red packages of stuffed frogs.
. _, 7. $
-Cover
mprint ) December
7.1979. Volume 2, Number 14, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
Page 16 . ,
L
mpri
I
Liz Wood Diane $3$za SyhTiaw Jacob Arseneault Marg Sanderson Mark D’Gabriel Bernie Fkehl J-or1 Farnhsm Tom McAnulty Im Eayman
Editor AdvertisingManager Business Msris&r Production Manager r:ews
Imprint is the student newspaper at the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications Waterloo, a corporation without share capital, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario. Phone 883 1660 or extension 2331 or 2332. Imprint is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a student press organization of 63 papers across Canada.’ Imprint is also a member of the Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association (OWNA). Imprint publishes every Friday durm the term. Mail shouldbe addressed to “Imprint, Campus Centre Room 140.” We are typeset on campus with a Camp/Set 510; paste-up ia likewise done on campus. Imprint: ISSN 07067380. ,
I
I Holiday
I
Violence any other
\
I
by name
The Editor: Last Saturday evening (Dec. l), we happened to attend a public discussion sponsored by the Moslem Students’ Association regarding the recent American Embassy occupation by the Iranian students. Although interesting comments did come out of that discussion,’ a few questions raised by ,some of the members of the audience made us wonder whether the people on this side of the world really understand the anguish of the Iranian people. The atrocities committed by the Shah-a U.S. puppet-against the people of Iran should have raised our deepest n indignation. The unspeakable suffering of the Iranian people (and all people of the oppressed nations) should have moved the heart to tears. Yet a member of the audience -asked, “Why did the Iranians burn the American flag?” This certainly
world. Reflect back to the times of the two world wars, the war in Korea, and the war in Vietnam, and see how the ‘enemies’ were being portrayed (oldnewspapers are available in every library). The old, but effective solgan of the mighty Roman rulers still holds: DIVIDE AND CONQUER. Lest the readers misunderstand the point of this letter, the above is not meant to be a justification of hostage taking.’ Violence, regardless of its form, can never be justified, it can only be understood. The ultimate form of justice lies in the sanctity of human life itself. But for a state (in this case, the U.S. state), whose very existence depends upon the use of legalized violence, to condem violence is hypocrisy par excellence. Rikki Hortian Sandy Wang
What concerns’us the most, however, is the continuous attempt of the massmedia to turn the people of this continent against the people of Iran. As usual, every accusing finger is pointing at the East. Iranians are presented as ‘.‘backward”, “anti-western”, and “fanatical”. Propaganda of this sort, if’internalized by the people, prepares an ideal psycholocial condition for mass murder-war. It is not the first time in the history) of this continent that the mass media has attempted to divide the peoples of the
.
SquashRacquets Tennis Frames Skates’
. * :
Lost Faith and Health Services
.W
4 @ .
.
l& . .
&
’
our typesetter. All in all a satisfying term for us all here, as we hope it has been for you who read Imprint. Our success has been made possible by the many students who have given so generously of their time. On behalf of all students at UW weaay thankyou. Imprint staff would like to wish you all good luck during exams, and wish you a happy, safe and peaceful holiday season. Liz Wood
reflects the sentiment of a would-be jingoist. What a trifle in an ocean of human anguish...Why _should the Iranians not burn the American flag, a flag that rings the bell of death for the Iranian people. Are we to believe that the American flag really represents the ‘honour’ of the American people? Better still, are we to accept the illusion that the interests of the Pentagon, the C.I.A. and the Government of the United States are synonymous with the of the American people? aspirations Government by consensus exists only in political science fiction. Indeed, the belief in such a myth is precisely what the state has always-wanted from its ruled.
880KingSt.E Kitchener 744-683 1
.
Message
Imprint has enjoyed a productive and satisfying term. We’ve got a lot of new faces working for us and next term we expectto see quite a few old faces back from work term. We also hope to see more new faces and welcome your input and contributions to the paper. Imprint has completely fulfilled its debt obligations incurred during last term’s growing pains and we are in a sound financial position for the future. Plans are near completion to repay the Federation its loan for the purchase of
-Letters-
The Berserkers closed in from all quadrants. The convoy moving through the Bottleneck was forced to a halt. In an instant, weapons flaredthe huge metal monsters and the battle&.ipsof the fleet, looking~hke gnats next to the hundred-mile-wide doomsday devices. Fleet commanders Steve Hull and Liz Wood ordered the fleet to disperse and attack at will. The crew responded well to the pressure, but with the nervousness of battle showing on their faces. The precious cargo had to get through to Earth! I orderedup more power from the FTLengines. Leslie Treseder, Chris Farrugia, Mary Mitchell, Nickie Bonner, Sue Melville and Jane Harding worked furiously to keep the ship going andwere rewardedwith success. Around me, the command crew of Celia Geiger, Fran Helper& Kathy Hay, Stu Dollar, Frank Morison, Glenn StGermain and Diane Aubin were busy correlating myriads of incoming data. Navigation plotted a clear course through the wreckage and only the skilled efforts of Ed Zurawski, Rick Laidlaw, Chris Dobkin, John McFarland and Malcolm Murray got us there. The assault force, made up of Marg Sanderson, Ira Naymen, William Bloke, John McMullen, Brian Dorion, Leslie Robinson, Wojtek Kozlinski and Doug Voll prepared themselves. Jason Mitchell, I@%n Hoyle& Brenda Ftawnand James Allenbrokeus through; the nuclear detonators were planted and we zoomed off through a hail of debris from the destroyed Berserker. JWB and I checked the hold:the cargo of firs and evergreens being brought to Earth, now long-extinct from their native world, were undamaged It lookedas if the holidays would proceed after all. Thank the universe for a crew like we had this term. And if not for Diane Ritza and Sylvia Hannigan, we never would have lifted off the ground Jacob~senea~t,myAcademyflightinstructor,nevertoldmeitw~~dbelikethis.Goodbye for now, MJD.
The Editor, Well, losing faith in another institution which supposedly upholds interest in the individual seems to have generated the enthusiasm to compose this (whatever it turns out to be). \ Regretably, due to the huge amount of information deemed necessary to keep us in order under the system of bureaucracy we are treated in effect as a number. Now tell me, who among all this number calling should we expect to treat us, the individual(s) with. a bit of compassion and understanding due, other than someone we are supposed to trust and be honest with, namely our doctor. Well, expect very little of that treatment if you happen to have the fortunate experience of acquiring a very personal bit of aparatus (an IUD maybe?) at our wonderful institution of health here on our wonderful university campus. Rather expect to be faced quite snappily in fact with such reassuring statements as, or rather to the effect of ‘Haven’t you bought one yet? Go down the hall and do so then come back, and undress and wait in the examining room.’ Wait indeed. Roughly fifteen minutes later expect the doctor to return, accomplish the feat, offer little advice, then retreat to the office to do what doctors do. Meanwhile undergo pain and uncertainty that you even want this foreign object implanted within your body. Wish all the while that pills every morning didn’t do to your system what they do. But they do. Alas, had I’ not have had someone very dear to me waiting outside to _offer comfort and company walking home, when I wanted to do nothing.but chew out
the impersonalitv of the svstem. I’m afraid I would have, yes my friends, cried. How childish. And they wonder why?
Gay
Evolution and Liberation
Foulis
,
The Edit or, This is a comment to the letter of Van der Wal entitled “We are sinners in need of Christ’s liberation”. I agree with the author that both, evolution and evolutionism contradict the Christian belief of creation of the world by the Almighty God as described in Chapters 1 and-2 of Genesis. Evolution causes a dichotomy of knowledge and Christian faith as the instant creation of man by God is described in detail in Genesis and acknowledged by Christ, the Son-of God Incarnate. Evolution also contradicts the Christian belief of instant resurrection of the body of Christ and the coming instant resurrection of the body of man as described in the New Testament. A dichptomy of knowledge and faith caused by evolution in not necessary, as contrary to common belief, evolution is a figment of man’s imagination without direct experiential proof. \ The very definition of evolution renders both, any. direct experiential verification of it and also any prediction by it impossible for mortal man. Evolution is imagined to have taken place over millions of years through survival of the fittest. Consequently any attempt of its experiental verification is out of reach of mortals, firstly because of the long time spans postulated for evolution and secondly because of the unknown past survival condition claimed to be necessary for evolution. The concept of survival of the fittest merely defines the survivors as the fittest or vise versa, but no evolutionist can predict the survivors of the future, if for no other reasons than that he does not know the future condition of nature. Evolution is also traditional as it arbitrarily associates shapes of fossilized bones and skulls of man with primitive and not-so-primitive modern man, whereas it is common knowledge that the shape of man’s skull has nothing to do with his mental state and some of the most outstanding men have lived in primitive surroundings. Also if a man evolves from primitive to modern into someone unknown, his thought about his origin evolves from primitive to evolutionary into something who knows non-evolutionary. Dr. J. Schroeder Professor of Civil Engineering
_
’
\ News Che,vron )
Club
.
has
t
Iran
What
busy
December
7,1979.
Imprint
17 -
News- .Shorts
Sunday
Renaissance course in Waterloo library
Chevron over $14,000, anyway. In a later interview, Hannant itemized this as being composed of about $,2,425 in student fees left in the newspaper budget as of December 30,1978, $6,000 in student fees paid in January, mostly by returning co-opstudents, for the winter ‘term 1979, and about $5,700 in advertising revenues seized of divert.ed from the Chevron to the Federation during the fall 1978 term. McGuire claims that he “doesn’t know where they got that figure,” claiming that the Chevron bad overspent their fall budget, the $2,125 left supposed to be a large part of the newspapers’ budget during the winter term. (Many stu-’ dents pay theirstudent fees for the fall and winter terms in one lump sum in Some co-op September. students add to this when they return to campus in winter but most of the winter fees are supposed to be left over from Septemcontinued
on page 19
crisis
happens \
The mounting tension at the Moslem Student’s Association i-neeting last Saturday was not allowed to deteriorate in chaos thanks to the level-headed chairman, Mike Manoussi. The meeting began quietly enough. Manoyssi explained to about 100 in attendance that the purpose of the meeting was to analyse the crisis in Iran and to help everyoneincluding UW studentsunderstand the feelings of the Iranians. He stress;d that “we are not here to create any unnecessary emotional feeling. This is a \ friendly gathering, for dison a one to one . cussion basis.” Following his subduing speech was a lengthy film from which the audience was told to make their own judgement about the Iran crisis. The film consisted mostly of masses of people shouting or chanting their traditional Islamic mourning song, -Patriotic music swelled whenever the picture of, Dr. .Mohammad Mossadeq, the leader of revolutionaries against the Shah, was on the screen: cartoons depected Americans with money hanging out of their pockets and the Shah’s men “amongst the petticoats of his ‘womenfolk”. The film ended with pathetic drawings of several slain revolutionaries. The film relayed the message that members of the MSA, like most Iranians, are against the Shah and American presence in Iran. Those who stayed until
Friday,
I
Students’ Council met common interests and last Sunday, December 2, to membership with the discuss, among other Chevron Club) shows that things, whether or not .to the Federation of Students recognize the Chevron is not politically biased. 0 Club. McGuire questioned Federation President Hannant on several issues Mark McGuire, ’ seconregarding the Chevron ded by Tom Porttious, put a newspaper and club. Hanmotion to the floor that the nant fefused to answer .one Chevron Club not be gran- ’ of McGuire’s questions re. ted club status within the garding allegations that the Federation of Students. Chevron has printed adGraduate Students rep-’ vertisements without the ’ resentative and Chevron permission of the advereditor, Larry Hannant, tiser and th%n billed the claimed that the Chevron advertiser. Donlon claimed Club conformed to all the that she had spoken withFederation of Students’ the owner of Leisure Lodge, rules for club status which, who said that he received a basically affirm the stubill from the Chevron for an dents’ right to free assocadvertisement whichhe iation and requires a demhad not placed and which ocratic constitution from appeared to have been all clubs:Hannant claimed “lifted” from the Kitchenerthat the Fede&tidn of StuWaterloo Record. dents is discriminating aMcGuire also asked Hangainst the Chevron Club nant if it’was true that the because it disagrees with Chevron had taken approxthe Chevron’s political imately $4000 worth of . views. ; equipment from the CC140 BENT coordinator Denise office (now the Imprint Donlon denied that charge, office) when the Chevron pointing out that BENT’s left last year. Hannant recognition recently of the replied that this was true, Progressive Culture Club but added that the Feder[which she claims holds ation of Students owes the
discusses
’
11-3
loses
Council
MSA
./
the end of the film were shown a series of slides depicting the carnage of “Black Friday” when thousands of revolutionaries were slain. The carcasses were mangled and slashed from torture, and covered with blood from violent deaths. One of the last the last one I slides looked at - was i photograph of a leg apparently severed from an anti-Shah revolutionary in a t,orture chamber.’ Tea, coffee and cookies were served right after this. During that break one could sense already that there was conflict among the crowd. When the meeting reconvened, Manoussi again stressed that the question and answer period was for our education, and should deal with the present hostage situatio% in Iran. Most questions went right to the root of the proble’m and were answered with conviction by the two Iranian guest speakers, Rafie Mogadamm and Mehdi Hashemi. Mogtidamh indirkctly answered the most prominent question in the minds of what is the Americansmoral justification for the hostage-taking? - by accusing the former American Ambassador of being a “murderer, a spy, a central intelligence agent and the cause of the massacre.” Another Iranian in the audience later more ef.fectively countered the question by asking, “What is the moral justification for what has happened to Iranians?”
next?
F
-
Italy as it was in the 15tb and 16th centuries will be the subject of a course being offered Monday evenings, January 7 to March 31, in the Waterloo public library. The dourse will be taught by Prof. Michael Cherniavsky, University of Waterloo historian, who says he’s had a lifelong love affair with his subject. “The period we will be dealing with witnessed an outburst of creative activity never surpassed anywhere,” he claims. Prof. Cherniavsky will discuss many facets of the Italian Renaissance, from the rediscovery of Greek and. Roman antiquity to the politics of Machiavelli and from the development of printing to the genius of Leonardo da Vinci. The Oxford-educated historian will provide illustrations, and he’ll include a visit to UW’s rare books room for a lecture on Renaissance printing. On another occasion Prof. E.R. Haldenby of UW’s school will talke about of architecture Renaissance architecture; films from Sir Kenneth Clark’s “Civilization” series will also be shown on occasion. The Is-week course can be taken for university degree credit, or sidply atteneded as a series of free lectures. More information is available from the Waterloo public library, or from UW’s partYtime offibe. I
Five UW courses in Cambridge
’
be entitled “People of the Pacific” and will discuss the people of the Pacific islands . . . where they came from, how the islands were settled, social institutions, religion, money and trade, competition and conflict, and their response to 20th century technology. A number of films will also be shown. The above courses may be taken for ~ university degree credit or they may simply be attended, free of charge, for personal interest. Additional information is available at either Cambridge public library, or Preston branch, or from UW’s part-time studies office.
Council awards grants to UW Three research projects at the University of Waterloo will receive more than $46,000 in support from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council. In the current announcement three professors in the economics department, John Hotson (department chairman), Anna Koutsoyiannis and James Brox, have been awarded $10,000 to work on a project that bears the title, “Stagflation and government policy: towards a radical solution.” In the psychology department, Pro. fessor Melvin Lerner is the recipient of $28,468 for research on a project titled, “The justice motive in social behaviour: hypothesis as to its origin and forms.” Professor Siegfrid Hoefert in the department of Germanic and Slavic languages and literatures, is preparing a researeh-oriented biography of the German novelist and playwright -Gerhardt Hauptmann (1862-1946) and has been awarded a $7800 grant.
The University of Waterloo will offer five courses in Cambridge this winter, three in the central librgry and two In the Preston branch. The central library courses will-be on converWUSC needs sational French, fine arts and religious -grads overseas studies; the Preston courses will be on anthropology and sociology. The World University Service of The fine arts course is “An IntroCanada (WUSC) held an organizational duction to Drawing” and will be meeting on Thursday November 29th. taught by Mieke Bevelander, an Elora This organization, designed to promote artist who has taught a number of offstudent emergency relief and educacampus courses for UW; a year ago she tional exchanges, was active on campus taught an introductory printmaking quite a few years ago, and is being course here. revived by Jeff Page. The religious studies course instruc’ WUS was founded in 1920 in Europe tor will be Prof. Francois Gerard, to provide relief for countries desprincipal of St. Paul’s College, the troyed by WWI, with emphasis on United Church college affiliated with educational relief, rebuilding univerUW. Prof. Gerard has also previously sities and supplying teachers. The given courses in Cambridge. University of Toronto founded a Cana*The Preston branch courses will be dian WUS branch in 1939; today over 50 Canadian university and college taught Wednesda-jr and Thursday evenings. campuses have a WUSC group. Uldis Kundrats, UW sociologist, WYSC members from other uniwill teach the Wednesday course.‘This versities were on hand to tell about will be the fourth one he has given in WUSC, and a short film was preCambridge. Its title is “The Sociology sented about helping with a uniof Sex Roles”’ and some of the topics to versity in Lesotho. WUSC members be cov’ered will be: sex roles in society, who go overseas on-a job are there sex roles and the world of work, the for two yearsStudents and teachers politics of sex roles, biological and are both needed, especially in the psychological perspectives on sex ,, fields of science, engineering, and roles, deviance and sex roles, and mathematics. prostitution. Anyone interested in being part of Dr. Dorothy Counts, anthropologist, WUSC should oontact Jeff Page, c/owill teach the Thursday course. It swill Federation of Students.
what is the goal of the Iranian students holding the American hostages? “It is to put Americans, not the diplomats, on trial”.. Will there be a fair trial for the ? “They should diplomats be judged by Iranian judges, with enough evidence, witnesses and documents to support the ’ accusations”. How can you make sure that the revolution doesnot produce despotism? “Are 35 million people (in Iran) making a mistake?” This retort caused the first outbreak of laughter which indicated that most of the audience, of which about half were Iranian, supported the guest speakers. Mogadamm continued, “Their role is to create an Islamic republic-the best choice for them-and they will have a democracy.” What about Sadat’s invitation to the Shah for exile in Egypt? “He (Sadat) posed their views, but the is digging his own grave... chairman intervened comiLet him have it!” Again the cally with “We don’t want laughter and applause showed to explodk anyone’s brain!” the general feeling of the But the discussion was still crowd, but- the next quetion out of hand when an proved there was conflict. emotional Iranian sttideht why did the Iranian stood up to say, “Islam is students burn the Amerfor freedom of human beings ican flag in the U.S.? and that is why we are Mogadamm avoided conagainst dictators and comfrontation on this point by munists. We have a message stating that “it was wrong, from God.” A voice cried out contradictory to the Iranabove the ensuing applause, ians goals”. An Iranaian “Why are you enslaving student in the audience women then?” The question confirmed that this inciwas lost in the groans and dent should not be indicwas never answered. The ative of the general feeling chairman commented, “I of Iranians. This caused an realize you’re interested, but outburst from a student in a let’s keep it clean and not get the crowd who strongly op-“ offended”.
Is it worth taking the chatice of another World War? “We are ready for them to come - but they won’t - it has to be a political solution from negotiations.” This answer enlarged upon by a student in the audience; he contended that there is “a consistent misconception to indentify the hostage-taking as an attempt to humiliate Americans - but what is on trial is the government of the U.S. The media is trying to say that the Pentagon is the same as the people. They (the media) and not the Iranians, are trying to stimulate -war. We must
begin to to go to say no!” ceeded crowd applause.
say we don’t want war. Let’s begin to His answer sucin stimulating the to overwhelming
The tension in the meeting eased off for a while as discussion dealt with less controversial ‘matters, but came to a climax when one _ student accused the MSA of handing out propaganda that was “garbage”. An infuriated Iranian student shouted back, “We don’t have to listen to your garbage!” A little Iranian baby cried for awhile, then finally the meeting ended. Diane Aubin
~NMws
.
t
i-
$,3.00
’
I’srael’s should
media image. be change&
Last Thursday the Jewish Student Organization of Waterloo held Jerusalem Day. During the day a constant supply of falaffel (Israeli version of a sandwich) was on hand as well as 1itKrature outlining Israel’s history. Literature was also available on the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) and its effect on Israel. ,In the afternoon, Simcha Jacobvici, a candidate for a political science doctorate at the University of Toronto, spoke about the media’s role in the Middle East. Jacobvici explained his own concept of the media as being a tool used inforeign diplomatic relations. He of the cited examples media’s power and selectivity by referring to the Globe and Mail. A story about 1 million Chinese expelled from Indonesia was on a third or fourth news page along with the story of a trial for a Nazi war criminal. He explained that he wanted to prove th,at issues can be weighed according to a copy-editor’s disposition. Jacobvici then explained that he felt there was “value in being caught up in the past” as the people who have forgotten about Auchwitz are now seeing the same in Cambodia. The media can not allow people to overlook this parallel, he stated. Still analyzing the nature of the media, he showed that television deals with images rather than content. “Instant soup, instant news, instant knowledge,” is the
phrase ‘he used to sum up more dead. He then pointed what we derive from the out that the media did not media. ask the question “What was Jacobvici applied what he the actual target?” had said about the media to Reference was then made Israel’s history. He asked to Time magazine which what was most commonly explains the Arabs as “modknown, that Israel used to erate...helpful” and the Israbe Palestine or that Jordan elis as “immovable...defenhad also been Palestine at sivei..inflexible.” one time. He felt that the Jacobvici concluded by media had played up the stating that Sadat knows how to make use of the positive world’opinion. fact that Israel had formerly media whereas Jerusalem Day continued been Palestine and had . American on into the evening with the completely ignored that JorIsrael -does not. He clearly showing of Elie Wiesel’s dan ever had been, and that felt that the media was a tool film Jerusalem. that Israel had to make use 80% of the territory only of in order to maintain Fran Helpert gained independence one year before Israel. Jacobvici claimed that the media made Jerusalem into a double city, Israeli and Arab by playing up certain issues and ignoring others, As you approach the end of your academic the media has limited its career, you have undoubtedly begun coverage of Israel’s history to oniypart of the story. to ponder the future. Where will all these An explanation of the dedicated years of.study lead you? nature of the “shuttle diploPerhaps you have already chosen the macy” prior to the Jerusalem career path you’d like to follow. visit of Egyptian president Anwar Sadat was given at How will you-go about achieving it? this point. Israel was, he You see it all beginning with that very * stated, in a period of “no important initial step - your first job. peace, no war.” Jacobvici gave an example It will be one of the most influential of the type of media coverage experiences of your career. that did not tell the entire story. He claimed that when Israel made, an attack on At Bell-Northern Research, ,we understand PLO bases and 6 civilians how important that first job is to you. were killed, the media made After all, it’s not that long ago that many Israel look like the -villain of us embarked on our own careers. rather than checking more carefully into the situation. We would like to help you achieve’ It was stated that it would your career aspirations by offering you be clear if anyone knew the the challenge of working in one of the truth that theIsraelis sent 18 waves of Phantom jetstothe foremost research organizations terrorist camps. Obviously, - a Canadian Corporation, owned jointly he continued, if they had by Northern Telecom Ltd. and Bell Canada. wanted to kill, civilians, there would have been many We have some of the best people in
SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU SAUZA IS NUMl?ER ONE! YOU DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND... NUMERO UNO! SAUZA! I DON’T WAN’T TO HAVE TO SEND
Buys y0.u ti term of: -Sports -N.ews -Entertainment -UW! The Arts
S
Getyourworktermhbscriptionat ’ CC 140. Keepinformed. -
Your career is our future...
Canada, if not the world - over 2500 young and enthusiastic people like yourself who have helped Bell-Northern Research achieve its enviable reputation throughout the world.
We’l’l be interviewing soon Come and talk to us about your future _ l
Bell-Northern Research continues to advance the technology in a number of specialized, areas . .. software, computeraided design, microprocessor applications, silicon device design and processing, . solid state device physics, digital _ communications, circuit design, fiber optics, systems planning, network analysis, human factors and many more . .. exciting fields of endeavor that require the talents of people like yourself. We’ll be visiting your campus January 8th, 9th & 10th and would like to ‘meet with you to talk about your future. Even if you’re not graduating this year, perhaps we can help you prepare for the future by offering you a summer position, or simply providing you with information about career opportunities, in your field of interest. <Watch for our posters in your faculty area or drop down to the Placement Office to find out a little more about what we have to offer. Bell-Northern Research Ltd. P.O. Box 3511, Station C Ottawa, Ontario, Canada KlY 4H7
Bell-Northern Research
1
’
News Council -
Meeting
.
Friday,
continued
from
to get
cused on the recent Federation advertising in Enginews and why it had been placed there. “You think sexism is just fine and encourage it,” said the Grad rep to McGpire, who attempted to explain that placing the ad in Enginews di’d not mean approval of its content. To this, Denise Donlon, Programme Coordinator for the Federation, added that Enginews is widely read “on compus and,therefore, an excellent place to advertise an event. Danny Lam asked the final question of th.e Period; he wondered whether the Federation p1anne.d subsidy for clubs which advertised in the Imprint. McGuire responded that there wouldn’t be one. Various and sundry minutes were accepted and received, and the Council voted in favour of acting on behalf of the temporary employees and seeing that they become members of C.U.P.E. Chris McIntosh was then accepted as head of the Election Committees for the upcoming Math Byelection, the Presidential election/OFS referendum and the student council election. The question of wording in the OFS referendum was raised at this point. Danny Lam suggested that the student first be asked whether he/she accepted theincrease in fees (from 75 cents to $1.50). A debate ensued, but the motion was lost when a call for quorum ended the meeting. Ira Nayman Stu Dollar
vice-chairpersoiz.
Cornmerck1 The Ca’mpus Centre Board (CCB) met on Tuesday for the last time this term. Most of the meeting was spent finishing old business and preparing for next term. The first point of business, brought up after the *passing+ of the minutes of the last meeting, was the election of a Vice-Chairman. The position of ViceChairman is open to any current CCB member and is a non-paying position. The Vice-Chairman is to substitute for the Chairman whenever necessary. Turnkey and Graduate representative Jo.yce Pickard was nominated for the position. Although her nomination still stands as the only one put forth so‘ far, nominations will remain open until the vote which will be held at the first meeting of the coming year. The CCB also moved to approach the Federation of Students to enquire if they have any interest in having -a representative at CCB . meetings. It was proposed that a representative from the Federation would function as a non-voting observer who would facilitate communication between .
7,1979.
Imprint
19
page 17
on behalf of the Grads, ber). As to the ,$6,100 in asked Federation President student fees collected in MaIi’k McGuire a series of January for the winter questions dealing with the term, McGuire said that the Imprint. He began by such fees were for an asking whether McGuire official student newspahad met with rkpresentaper, which, by that time, the tives of the Imprint in order Chevron was not. McGuire to renegotiate the terms of flatly denies that the Fedthe typesetting agreement; eration of Students seized McGuire said that he any advertising revenues hadn’t, but that he soon saying that the Federation would. of Students only received When questions arose advertising revenues after about the amount of the January 1 to help pay off increase in the ad rate for Chevron debts. Integrated Studies stustudents which the Zmprint rec.ently implemented, dent, Larry Srnylie, claimMcGuire stated that the edthattheissueonvhether increase was 40 cents per or not to recognize the column inch. Chevron Club was a quesConcerning the question tion of rights. He said that the Federatiori was denyof the Federation’s “ban” on ing the rights of a minority advertising in the Chevron, group to free speech by not McGuire pointed out that although the Federation recognizingthe Chevron would not supply the monClub. Several student representatives pointed out to ey to clubs for such advertising, they were free to do Smylie that their constiso with money which they tuents were overwhelmthemselves had made. The ingly against the Chevron Club being recognized by graduate . representative the Federation of Students. then asked whether ‘the Imprint had the right to Smylie said that the majorroom 140 of the Campus ity does not have the right to deny a minory its rights Centre. He was told that, in and that in such cases the the bylaws of the Federelected representatives ation of Students, the offishould vote against the cial student newspaper wishes of their constituwas entitled to tharspace, and that the official student ents, rather than sacrifice newspaper, whether he democratic principles. wished to recognize the fact McGuire pointed-out that or not, was the Imprint. club recognition by the When concern was exFederation of Students was pressed over the lawsuits a privilege,not a right. which recently hit the ImEventually, the matter print, it was psinted out was put to a vote. Eleven had not representatives ,voted a-< that the Imprint besn served with notice of a gainst the Chevron Club suit by a process serverand being granted club status that, in fact, it had yet to be while three votedinfavour. #legally sued. During Question Period, Attention was then foLprry Hanriant, speaking
CCB
December
events the two organizations. ’ A motion to accept the drafted policy regarding the sale of goods at the Campus Centre was passed. The passing of this motion will restrict commercial activities but will allow sales in conjunction &th certain ’ events. All events must be approved by the Operations Coordinator whether or not the sale of goods is included in the event. The campus centre has allowed several craft fairs, flea markets and poster sales to be heldin the Great Hall but wishes to avoid constant sales.
limited bers felt that these restrictions should also specifically apply to merchants. The board continued its debate concerning the proposed $5000 cutback of turnkiys’ salaries. A subcommittee has been appointed to study the problem but has not yet appointed a Chairperson.
The turnkeys have written a letter to-Vice-C.hancellor and President of U of W, Burt Matthews, to state their position and to express concern about Matthews’ request. Matthews has replied in a letter giving further reasons fork the proposed salary cuts-which he had not previously pr’e- . A request was made to sented. The exact contents draw up a specific policy of the letters will be disregarding soliciting of cuscussed when the sub-comtomers for goods being sold mittee studying the issue in the Centre. At present has met and has presented the only policy which its findings to the CCB. 3 exists is contained’in the Mention was made of the Information Tables Policy, Christmas dinner which which forbids interest will be held on December 25 groups which have tables in the Campus Centre. As set up in the CC from well as the dinner, the actively approaching stucentre will provide decoradents present in the Centre. tions, carolling and people Those in booths must reto talk to. The campus strict the\ms.elves to being centre will be open approached ‘by interested throughout the holiday students in order that they season. ~ da not interfere with stuCelia Geiger dent activities. Board mem- ’
CUP Briefs
to meet secretarv of state on student aii task force
NUS
OTTAWA - Conflicting reports an the status of student representation on the recently announced federal-provincial task force on student aid will be discussed Dec. 3 at a meeting between David MacDonald, -the secretary of state and the National Unidn of Students (NUS). In replying to a question from NDP MP Pauline Jewett Nov. 28 in the House of Commons, MacDonald said that the task force is ‘:an important matter and one which affects both student representatives and the various provinces as well as the federal government.” “When I met with my officials on Monday of this week we examined particularly the way in which we cotild responsibly involve representatives of the students federation in order that there be a total input and involvepent by them with respect to the final report and recommendations which would come forward,” MacDonald said. On Nov. 21, however, Jim Horsman, the minister of advanced education and manpower -of Alberta, told the Federation of Alberta Students (FAS) in a letter that the “decision has been made by the CMEC that no student representatives will be on the task force.” The Council of Ministers of Education Canada (CMEC) told NUS that no final decision on the student representation question has been made.- As late as N&.29 Lucien Perras, the executive director of CMEC, told NUS {hat a decision on that question would have to be taken by the ministers of education. Jewett said later in an interview that only two groups, NUS and the National Association of Student Financial Aid Officers should be represented on the task force.
Education ministers discuss student ajd with NUS TORONTO The Council of Ministers of Education Canada (CMEC) has decided to recommend to the federal government that no increase in the student loan ceiling * be introduced this year, the result of student opposition to the move and fears by the ministers of increasing student indebtedness. NUS has argued that more grants and less loans are necessary to ensure acce’ss to education. According to Saskatchewan continuing minist‘er Doug MacArthur, the decision is a reversal of a stand taken in favour of an increase by the *council in a September. meeting in Winnipeg. After that -meeting CMEC chairman Pat McGeer, the B.C. universities minister, claimed the council had not taken any position on the loan ceiling but MacArthur told NUS representatives that in fact the CMEC had privately agreed to support a loan ceiling increase. NUS executive officer Morna Ballantyne said Nov. 26 the student organization thinks the CMEC may decide to allow student representation on the recently-announced federalprovincial task force on student aid. Ballantyne said NUS is also optimistic ab.out the possibility that the task force may hold public hearings across Canada. She said McGeer indicated his support for the idea in a recent letter to the University of Victoria students’ union. The CMEC has also decied to recommend that federal secretary of state David MacDonald introduce changes in the Canada student loan plan to make part-time students eligible for student aid, to make student aid availa,ble td students in 12-week or longer courses instead of the current minimum of 26
~-
weeks and to express maximum assistance levels on a weekly basis instead of on the academic vear. so students in longer than norAa1 ‘courses receive sufficient aid. Also, the CMEC sub-comniittee re’ fused a NUS request for a representative on the recently-announced bilingualism task force because it said the task force is actually a negotiating team seeking agreements between the provinces on bilingualism in education rather than an investigative body.
Fine arts dean at York resigns to protest cutbacks TORONTO - The dean of fine Arts at York University has resigned because ’ of excessive financial cutbacks in the faculty. Joseph Green said in his letter of resignation that the faculty is not getting the financial supcport it needs and criticized contentious budgetary practices by the university’s board of governors and the inability of the board to raise funds for the faculty. Green was also angered by the board’s failure to raise funds for a proposed $15 million performing arts and gallery centre, a project the board had supported in the past. Green said there are no priorities for allocating fun’ds to the university’s ten faculties. “It has been a fleet-footed dean who has been able to capture what he or she needed,” he said. Arts dean Harold Kaplap has agreed with Green’s charges about the financial operation. He siad that because of excessive budget cutting by the board, York has a $1.4 million surplus this year. In a memo to department heads Kaplan condemned “bad news budgetting” and said the surplus was created when the university underestimated its income by $9OO,OOO. “The surpluses, carry-forwards and one-time only funds cannot compensate us for the people terminated four months earlier and cannot repair the damage inflicted on acad‘emic programs through these cuts,” he said.
Mice prove smarter than engineers in mousetrap match-up LOS ANGELES (ZNS) - A group of engineers has discovered that the resourcefulness of rodents should never be underestimated. Reporters were called to the Lawrence Livermore Laboratory recently so an engineering team could proudly show off their version of the better mousetrap. The trap works by placing the bait at the top end of a teeter-totter contraption. The unsus,pecting rodent is supposed to run up the teeter-totter to get the bait, only to tip the balance, fall into a bucket of water and drown. . The mice, however, stole the show when one ran up the teeter-totter to get the food while another sat on the bottom end of the board to keep his partner from being dumped in the drink. It’s back to the drawing board.
Ontario universities asked to define role in provincial system TORONTO - The Ontario Council’on University Affairs (OCUA) has asked all 15 Oritario, ‘universities to define their role and place in the ‘provincial system. University of Toronto president James Ham said the OCUA wants to know the future enrolment intentions of the universities-and if there will be any distinctive changes in the undergraduate programs. OCUA chairman William Winegard said the information will be used as “the beginning of the process to-define the role, job and thrust each university has.”
TImArts
L,Friday,
-
LSAT GMAT
Simmerin’
WEEKEND SEMINARS
REVIEW
We offer GMAT: . 200
of
for page
each
l
70 page Math each registrant)
l
seminar-sized
LSAT
specialized
l
Guarantee. no extra unsatisfactory
Primer
(sent
to
the course if your score
for
instructors repeat charge
give
us
a call and can really do you keep thinking to on your own?
National Testing Centre, Inc 330 - 1152 Mainland St., Vancouver, B.C. V6B 2T9 (604) 6899000 or call us tol l-800-663-3381
Music by DAVE GRUSIN Screenplay by ROBERT GARLAND Screen Story by PAUL GAER and ROBERT GARLAND produced by RAY STARK [ R E A D THENOVEL FROM POCKET mrslDm&ed by SYDNEY POLLACK TECHNICOLOR’
PANAVISION”
Starts
ORIGINAL
Friday
SOUND
December
TRACK
ALBUM
IyI*
21
and
curriculum
classes
l
Why not how you paration get around
the
copyrighted
free
at
Humanities
is
find the
out preyou’l
.. ...so they send this rock’n’roll fan to cover a jazz concert,, and as a helper, they send along a jazz enthusiast from CKMS who professes to be a borderline illiterate and knows next to nothing about “Zoot” Sims. Good pair! What to do.....? Improvise, obviously! The trio of Joe Sealy on piano, Jerry Fuller on drums and Steven Wallis on bass opened the show to an audience of about 340 people. Their three number set lasted * about half an hour, and was punctuated by a l couple of long, impressive though perhaps strained - bass solos, which were to be a frequent occurrence throughout the night. An amazing change took place in the band when “Zoot” Sims came on; they suddenly became more fluid, loose and energetic, and appeared to be enjoying themselves more. It was immediately obvious why Sims is so renowned; his saxophone playing was smooth and understated, and his solos were short and always
December
concert
7,1979.
Imprint
20 I
-
Sims
_
added to the song, unlike Wallis’ loud and distracting solos. Every time Sims stepped back after a minute up front and let the band play for a while, one always wished he had played just a little bit more. The third part of the show saw MC Peter Appleyard come on to join the band on vibes, and he almost stole the show. His lively solo on “Fascinating Rhythm” was greeted with loud applause, and his duet with Sims was the highlight of the over two hour show. As a member of the psych department was heard to say after the show, Sims and Appleyard were the physical embodiment of the two sides of a manic depressive personality; their work together struck a sharp contrast. Zoot Sims show at Humanities last Monday proved without a doubt that the man deserves the great reputation in the field of jazz he has. Brenda Rawn Jason Mitchell
-‘The Arts
Friday,
December
7,1979.
Imprint
21
,’
-
Termination
Brothers’
-
are / good managed to mix in between classics a fair selection of songs from their new album. They got through most of the classics before the evening ended, ‘The Battle of New Orleans,’ ‘The Hot Night Boogie,’ and of course, that never ending saga of ‘The Fox on the Run’ (twice, but it wasn’t enough). Judging by the turnout, and comments I heard the bus system did a good job of transporting people down to Bingemann Park. But for those who wanted to leave early, the system seemed to break down. A friend and his lady tried to leave around midnight, but found that all the busdrivers must have been inside enjoying the music and that they may as well stay to the end. Sooner or later the bugs will be out of the system. For the rest of us though the end came too early. The Good Brothers seem to have survived the loss of two band members last month quite well. The fiddle virtuosity of Carl Kees is missing, but it did not show Thursday night. So the term’s entertainment is now over. Thursday night showed that successful pubs can be run at Waterloo, and that we can have fun at this school. Try to remember that over Christmas people, and give BENT some support next term and we may actually enjoy it. c Frank Morison
A near capacity boogied their hearts out celebrating the TEKMination last Thursday, oblivious to the fact that they were four days early. The entertainment for the evening * was the ever popular Good Brothers and they met expectations. When this reviewer arrived the warm-up band was already into their act. The Backbeats, they played an uninspired combination 1950’s rock and more recent punk. Towards the end of the set about half a dozen diehards bounced away on the dance floor, but in genera1 they were received with complete apathy by the crowd. The largest applause they received was when they announced that their next number would be their last. This was not received well by the members of the band. It was a clear case of band and audience being mismatched. The audience came to life at the appearance of the Good Brothers. The entire audience was on its feet, stamping and clapping before the band got two bars into its opening number (the name of the tune escapes me now, all that great music is running together in my mind, but it was a great bluegrass classic), and they kept it up all night. The dance floor never emptied. The Good Brothers played their usual excellent concert, two good long sets. They
EXCtELLENT VARIET-Y QUALITY M-ERCHANDISE CONCERNED PARENT TEACHING PROFESSIONAL
A
N
l
FUN-TO-PLAY
EDUCATIONAL
l
CREATIVE
ACTIVITIES
0
PRIMARY
ENGLISH l
SELF
FRENCH
LEARNING
0
CHARACTER-
&
GAMES
EXPRESSION STORYBOOI-
STORYBOOK
l
UNIQUE FOR THE
AND including...
TOYS FOR
&
OF
RECORDS AIDS PUPPETS
AND
MARIONETTES
ERB
STREEi
EAST
WATERLOO
884-206
. -
Two
man
tiusical
.Peterson
brilliant
Billy Bishop made a spectacular landing before a capacity crowd at Hagey Hall last Wednesday night in a triumphant Canadian two-man musical entitled Billy Bishop Goes to War. The award-winning hit details the humour and the terror of World War I experienced by flying ace Billy Bishop who hailed from Owen Sound, Ontario. The show is a masterpiece -of humour, ingenuity and economical but detailed characterization. It is almost entirely the work of song-writer, lyricist, script-writer, director, piano player and singer John Grey and Eric Peterson who helped write the script but more amazingly portrays Billy Bishop and sixteen other characters with an agility and clarity that boggled the mind. The musical focuses on the character of Billy a liar and a cheat and “on record as the worst scholar K.M.C. ever had”. Immediately, Peterson engages us with a plaintive, cynical, naive and boisterous soldier who joins the cavalry only to find out that he is allergic to horses and can’t manage to stay on them properly. Having endured seasickness on his voyage to Europe and experienced the mud and rain of a soldier’s life he looks up to the sky and decides he wants to become a pilot because flyers are dry. And they don’t have horses. Billy lies to get into the air. force. Of course, the air force needs observers so badly that the potty General only askshim, “Do you ski? Do you ride a horse? Do you. play tennis ? What about sports? He becomes a pilot through the .influence of Lady St. Helier who wants to do something ‘.
1
\
Southein
Comfort.
Enjoy it straight-up. On the rocks. Or stirred, shaken, even blended with the mixer of your choice. Delicious! No wonder Southern Comfort’s called the one-bottle-bar! For a free recipe book, write Southern Comfort, Box 775, Montreal, P.Q. H5A 1El
The unique taste ,of Southern Comfort enjoyed for over 125 years.
Get . a little Wuthern exposure.
‘
-
nice for the “colonial”. Once in the air, Billy finds he doesn’t know how to turn; he lands only by accident; He becomes possessed by the war. Originally a man who wanted to spend the war in the hospital, he becomes one who lusts after killing. His love of glory becomes so great that he attacks a German Aerodrome singlehandedly one night, fighting until he is out of ammunition. His only regret is that he has worn only his pyjamas under his coat and is afraid to get shot down because he doesn’t want to spend the rest of the war as a prisoner in pyjamas. Needless to say, he escapes and becomes a decorated hero. Peterson’s’ performance as Billy is extraordinary. Billy is alive: cocky and brash, _ sensitive, repelled by bloodlust but attracted to it, insubordinate and irreverent. Billy alone would make Peterson’s performance a tour de force. But there is so much more. With a few simple gestures he creates an aristocratic and autocratic Lady St. Helier and the criticizing. butler Cedric, alternating between these two characters, portraying Billy and talking directly to the audience in rapid succession. With a gesture, he creates characters as diverse as Lovely Helene, the nightclub singer, King George V, his effeminate rival Albert Ball and generals and instructors. As well as creating living personalities Peterson, with the aid of John Gray, also creates all of the sound effects. The stage is sparse. Chairs serve as horses and airplanes. Peterson creates the noises of airplanes, bombs, dogfights and bullets, making them so vivid that our imaginations fill in the rest of the the scene. John Gray’s songs and dialogue are simple and clear yet brimming with incisivecharacterizations and insights. Above all, Gray has filled the play with rollicking humour in’his characterization of Billy and his reactions to the war and the people he \ meets. Gray was also responsible for the truckin’ musical 18 Wheels that rolled into town a month ago. There is no comparison between these two shows. 18 W/reds was good; Sily Bishop is brilliant. Gray and Peterson have collaborated to create a stunning production. &lia Geiger
XMASdSALE
-
All TI Calculators . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 10% off TI personal computer-color monitor Regular $1695 - Now $1545 . Centronics 779 - tractor feed -Regular $1995 - Now $1695 Ohio Scientific SuperboardIIComputer i - 8K basic - 4K RAM Kegular $460 - Now $410
lb4 King St. South - Waterloo _ ,Across from Waterloo Square a
~
f
.
tSports
I
Friday,
December
7,1979.
Imprint
22
Inti-amural . Ice
The finals
of the women’s Intramural program were held last Monday evening in the PAC. St. Paul’s and Renison met in the final of the B-league. Renison made it to the final by squeaking by West B- and C 14l3. St. Paul’s scored an easy 15-8 win over East B to make it to the final. In the final game St. Paul’s were victorious 18- 16.
basketball
. A-league action saw the Basket cases ease past the Swish kids 19-l 6: Both finalists had an easy time of it in the semi-finals, the Basketcases defeating the Last Minutes 16-l 0, while the Swish kids-downed kin 2A 20-8. Shown above is action in the B-league final between St. Paul’s and Renison. photo by Ed Zurawski
-
Hockey
Two exciting games were played last Monday night to determine the champions in the A and .B leagues of Intramural Ice Hockey. The B division final was the closer of the two games which featured the East Animals, a Village II team, against Hector’s Heroes, an independent team made up mostly of 4A Chem Eng students. The Heroes led 20, on goals by Robert Smart and Jim Calder, going into second period play. The East team scored three unanswered goals (P. Lynch, D. Plum and M. Harris)totakea 3-2 lead. With 1:51‘ left, Mike Tomiak of the Heroes tied the game at3-3sending the game into overtime. Both teams had manychances to score in the ten minute overtime period, but it was Jim Calder of the Heroes who banged home the winning goal with 1:40 left giving them the championship. The A final was a very .different type of game featuring the Wrecking Crew ,form Village I South and a team from Co-op residence. The game was a rough one with neither team scoring until late in the first period. At 15:38, Jerry Vanhaelemeexl of Co-op put his team
a head 1-O. Wrecking Crewls K. O’Reilly tied thegame l-l with two minutes remaining in the first period. The score was the same at the start ‘of the second period when a serious injury to James Orr of the Co-op-team brought that team to life. Although Co-op did not score until late in the period,
the injury was an obvious turning point in the game as the Wrecking Crew never seemed able to get their offence on track. With 1:28 left in the game, Alan Dunn put Co-op ahead to stay on a pass from Ron Bell. Frank Schreiner put the icing on the cake with an unassisted goal with 23 seconds remaining.
X-country skiing Seminar next month The UW Kinesiology Student’s Association will be holding a day-long symposium on cross-country skiing, on Saturday, January 26, 1980. The symposium will be held in conjuction with next year’s Heritage Loppet, an annual cross-country ski race and tour. The Loppet will be held on the day’ following the symposium, January 27. The Loppet has fourteen sections in it, with divisions according todistance(30km and 10 km), competitive persuasion (elite and touring), age class and sex. The featured speaker *at the symposium will be Edward Baldwin, author of
Skiing Cross Co&try, who’s topjc of discussion is “crosscountry skiing terrain as a determinant of technique and equipment.” * In addition, the following topics will be presenteed: “Physiological responses of elite and novice crosscountry skiers and implications for their conditioning” by Dr. Rich Hughson. “A comparative biom,echanical study of the diagonal technique of world class skiers,” by Dr. R.W. Norman. “Psycho-motor behaviour -Are head movements a key to ski technique?” by Dr. I.D. Williams. continued
on page
23
Racquet Ball ,. Fastest growing
sport in North America
At Columbia courts you21 learn how the game is played in just 20 minutes. It’s competitive and it’s the fun way to fitness. Individual and family plans available. ’ \
.
.-Downhill Ski Packages
X Country Ski Packages
From
tS129” to
F,om$899'
Adidas
Baur
Mexico Shorts
Lightfoot Shdes
$599
Puma Rockette Ladies
$54gg Steel Toe
$1999
$5999 . l
Whirlpool,
bY
Number 1 Sun Innsbruck David S. Reid First Down
Kodiaks
!2 199 Sk i Goggles Uveli Snow King
Ski Clothing -
Ask about OUY
Sauna
& Fitness b
Program 1
In Our Lounge
DISCO Friday
& Saturday
8:30 PM
Comfortable, modern, with disc , jockey and fantastic lighting system
Anyone is welcome to visit the facilities Callforfurtherinformation
seasonal
ski package rentals
153 Union St. E., Waterloo ’ O&n Daily g-9, Sat. 9-6 579-2410
Mon-Sat 7am-llpm Sunday 7 am-8 pm
OOURTS 140 Columbia St. W. Waterloo-886-5870
Sports
1
~
9
Friday,
December
T, 1979.
I&print
23
1
I
\
k
Warriorsifind
range;
and Rich Kurtz (12) paced The basketball Warriors Waterloo’s attack. contested two exhibition On Friday, it appeared this tussles last week with contrio had merely been warmtrasting results. ing up. In a feature exhibiOn Wednesday, Waterloo tion highlighting the Wartravelled to Ohio to play rior High School 13vitation’ NCAA Division I school Kent al, Waterloo thoroughly doState and, in a not entirely minated the Ottawa Gee unexpected result, dropped Gees to post a 107-93 an 81-46 decision. victory, a score which actuThe score is probably ally flattered Ottawa. unimportant relative to the Vance set the pace with a benefits of playing major torrid 17 point first half and college opposition before finished the game with 25. impending OUAA the In the Naismith tournament, league schedule commenVance was moved to a wing ces in the New Year. This positionon the perimeter of experience is bound to the Warrior offence and his toughen the team. outside shooting is “We were very selective i fine likely to keep him there. in the shots which we took.. “With him shooting from The boys were happy when 15 or 20, feet out, the 30 they saw they could control second clock should never the pace of the game,” said bother us,” McCrae corncoach Don McCrae. “That mented. will help us later in the Ktlrtz supported Vance’s season.” effort ably, totalled 19 Seymour Hadwen (14 points, and showed a delipoints), Doug Vance (13)
Intercollegiate ‘z
,
’
Swimming
Three more members of UW’s swim teams qualified for the national championships at meets held this past X weekend. Stuart Cross qualified in the 50 metre freestyle last Saturday at York University when he posted a time of 24.7 seconds. Norma Wilke and Fiona Tetlow also qualified last Friday night; Wilkie in the 50 yard freestyle (26.5) and Tetlow in the 200 yard breastroke (2:41). / (There may be some confusion in distances in Intercollegiate swim meets as some pools are metric.and -others ar measured in yards. Meets swum in yards have their times converted to th.eir metric equivalents by adding 11% of the time over the particular yardage). Earlier in the season, Leslie Patterson (50 yard free), Brian Harvey (100 metre back), Rick Frame (100 back), John Heinbuch (400 IM), Chris Treleaven (100, 200 back) and Lynn Marshall (100, 200 free) also qualified for the Nationals to be held on the last weekend in February at _.Laval. Dave Heinbuch, head coach of both the Warrior and Athena swim teams in commenting on the Nationals, said “my goal’is to have 10 men and eight women” qualify. With those numbers he feels UW will have an outside chance of taking a title. The Warriors are the defending CIAU champions. Henibuch added that the favourites for the national title are Toronto and Laval. “We were also trying to get Jerry DeLeeuwqualified in the 100 fly and the 200 metre IM. Jerry .Luill be working in Flin Flon, Man-
Basketball
93’-
dump
‘Gee Gees
cate scoring touch inside. Most encouraging of all for Warrior supporters was the aggressive two-way effort of Hadwen. Nagged by injuries thus far in the young season, he scored 26 points, set up several more, played tough defence, and was the dominant performer of the second half. Poor field goal shooting snuffed Warrior chances against Carleton in the Naismith two weeks ago; but in this match, they shot a sparkling 70% as a team. While the offence is keyed to Vance, Kurtz, and Hadwen, it was by no means limited to them. , “We ‘played everybody and everybody played well,” McCrae enthused. On deck for the Warriors are tournaments in Winnipeg (December 27 through 29) and Calgary (January 3-5).
Briefs
itoba and we don’t know if he’ll be able to enter a qualifying meet prior to the OUAA championship. We hope to have him back for that meet and have him take a run at the qualifying time. He’ll be able to train in Flin Flon but we sure would have liked to have him qualify for the CIAU championship before he went on his work term. In the women’s duel meet held last Friday, the U of T scored a relatively easy 7141 victory over the Athenas. “Lynn Marshall won three events. She was first in the 200 and 400 yard freestyle events and she was a member of the firstplace 400 yard freestyle relay event,” comm’ented Heinbuch. “Even though we lost the meet, I wasstill pleased with the performance of ourgirls. We were without one of our top swimmers in the person of Chris Treleaven. She tore ligaments in her ankle during the week. She would have helped in a lot of events.” The swimmers break now until the new year when they begin a series of duel meets, most of which are at home.
The Athenas basketball team won games against Queen’s and Ottawa over the weekend. The Athenas beat Queen’s’ 82-63 and Qttawa 50-43. In the Queen’s game, the Athenas got an outstanding performance from Jennifer Russell. “Jennifer has been getting frustrated in some of our outings. She’s been bothered by some missed shots and by her getting into foul trouble. She stayed away from foul trouble against Queen’s and she had a great shooting day.
107, Ottawa
UW
She finished the game with 25 points,” commented head coach Sally Kemp. “Nancy Campbell had another good game. She scored 16 points, while Nori Spence, had 11: That will help their confidence. “In the Ottawa game, Ottawa played a zone. They are not that good a team but they started with a zone, which sometimes gives us trouble and then they began to change their defences. That caused us some other problems.
from
page
“The score was kept low because of all the adjustments that both teams were making. Beth Parsons had a goodgamefor us. She pulled down 11 rebounds. That’s a team high for us this year.” Jennifer Russell scored 14 points against Ottawa, Nancy Camp,bell had 12 and Nori Spence scored 10.
y skiing
X-countr continued
to his Ottawa opponents after beating Richard Kurt+ seems to be playing his respects them for the rebound. Kurtz Phad another fine game potting 19 points in the Warrior photo by Jacob Arseneault victory. ,
22
“Nutrition-is it really of any use in competition? Diet and nutrition from the competitor’s viewpoint emphasizing periods before, during and after the event” by Drs. Jay Thompson and Mike Houston. The scientific nature of the morning lectures will be complemented. by several workshop experiences in the afternoon. The recreational aspects of crosscountry skiing are the main focus of the afternoon sessions. Afternoon’workshops will include: “Coaching technique and training of thecross-country
.
racer” by Richard Lay. “Equipment and clothing” by W. Deyarmond. “Cross-country ski camping” by the Outer’s club. “Waxing for the racer” by Anton Scheier. Further information can be obtained from the Symposium Committee, Kinesiology Students Association, U of W, N2L 3Gl. Registration forms may be obtained at the- above address or at OW Sports, 92 King St. South, Waterloo, the PAC Reception desk and at the Department of Kinesiology Office, 6th floor, MC building. The cost for the day is $5 and registration is limited to the first 300 applicants.
\
Skiathon The Men’s intercollegiate Athletic Council in cooperation with the UW ski club is sponsoring a Skiathon, January 24, 1980, to raise money, for I men’s varsity athletics. ~-. The event will be held at Chikopee and will also feature open skiing for all UW students. Entertainment will follow the day’s activities when v a Bluegrass band will serenade the participants in the clubhouse. Watch for details in the New Year.
stanno * _
Psrmwn Pctm lkstm~s A SE NE l B@JE%RRl Pdwtrm A ROBERT WI3 him STAR TREK-M WU.LlAM SHATNER LEONAfiU NMOY OeFOREST KELLEY F’rwntlng PER% KHAMBATTA and Stwm~ khw by JERRY OOLOSMITH Screenplay by HAROtO LIV@lGZTO+J Story by AtAN OEAN FOSTER Rucbd Copynghr 0 MCMLXXIX by Paramamt PICM~S Corpwaran Onxtsd ty ROBERT WlsE
STARTING
FRIDAY
at a -THEATRE NEAR YOU.
MOTyrJ F!CTl.R STEPHEN CUttINS BS Oedw ty GENE RMXlENBEfVIY
-
’ /
OnSale
/
Live Magnetic Air (America’s Veins, Here among the Cats, Charmonium) Feds $5.47 Non Feds $6.47
kTapes: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Dam&he Torpedos ‘Refugee, You Tell me, Don’t Do Me Like That) NOn Feds $6.70 1 Feds $5.70
Tonv Banks A Curi&Feeling _ (FCT-CXMYMornins. For a While, In The Dark)
(Hot-to
BASF,
Maxell,TDK,
E.L.O.‘s Greatest Hits (Evil Woman, L&in Thing, Turn to Stone, Strange Magic) Non Feds $6.47 Feds.$5.47
etc.
eck on our many i,nstorespecials!
ILower Mall, Campus Centre University of Waterloo
-
Andrew Davis, English Chamber Orchestra (AdagioforGuitarandStrings,AironaGString)
Images a;Twilight Cold, See Them Smile, Mouse in a Maze)
Little Feat Down on the Farm (Six Feet of S now, Wake Up Dreaming, Feel the Groove) Non Feds $6.70 Feds $5.70
DedO-14
Surveillance (Seventh Heaven, Rocket Sofa Back, Horizons)
Reason to Be’ (Glamour, Houston, Over Dry Martini) Non Feds $6.47 Feds $5.47
Drums and Wires (MakingPlansforNigel, ScissorMan, Outside World)
Roll,
G0ddbyeL.A. I Hardly Knew Her Name, Day andNight) ’ Fedss5.47 NonFeds$6.47
(Demographics, I)
Chic’s Greatest Hits Dance, Dance, I Want Your Love, Good Times) Feds $5.70 Non Feds $6.70
(Dance, -
JeffersonStarship Freedom and Point Zero (Jane, Rock Music, Lighting Rose)
BarbraStreisand Wet (No More Tears, Niagara, Kiss me in the Rain) Feds$5.47 NonFeds$6.47
(Trouble
Restless Nights Again, NeverS top her Heart, The Water is Wide)
Cigarettes (New Wave Robot, Hit and Run, Fantasy) Contains7inchsinglewith“PassOut”and“Sexand DrugsandKockandKoll” Fed@%47 Others!&.47