1984-85_v07,n21_Imprint by Editor Imprint

S&ond Class Registration:

Number NF6453, Kitchener,

Qntwio

-1

s Frieday, Dismember 7,1894; Vol. 182,:No. i (a), The Strident Gnuspaper: University bf -Berlin, Berlin, Ontario. \. J -I~_

by Bath and Be More Dimprint stiff A -new scandal has rocked lmperation ‘Hole,, the newest student pub in Ontario. Dimprint has received information which,indicates that there have been major structural errors in the’construction of the pub. It has’ been built upside down. Many students have complained about the pipes covering the floor and have questioned the value of having parquet flooring and carpeting on the ceiling. Hole manager, Germy Runt, expressed his discontent with the present state of affairs: “It is hard to run an efficient establishment when everything falls,out of the kitchen sinks...dancers are tripping over heating ducts, it is unacceptable that students must use a ladder to reach the front doors.” When, approached. by Dimprint, Imperation of Students IPresident Jorge Elvis Cluck stated that, “I am sick and tired of Dimprint constantly attacking me and all my perfect decisions?. He went on to state that it was his opinion that opposition to his reign was evidence of Dimprint Editor-in-Chief, Omm tialliceon’s personal prejudices against the fact that Cluck wore preppy clothes and did not have fuzzy hair. 3’ Imperation’ Vice-President Carla Savis said that it was an unfortunate error on the part of the architect firm of Firestone

Borrow and Aching but that “a considerable saving would result from the mistake”! - “It has completely turned our budget around and whereas we were planning on extending-our line of credit with the bank, now the lmperation has decided to give $110,000 to the’bank.“t Following up on lmperation charges that the architects were at fault, Firestone, Borrow and Aching were questioned regarding their degree of responsibility in the fiasco. A spokesperson for the firm denied any responsibility for the upturned building. “We drew up the plans rightside up but the contractor taped the blueprints upsidedown on the wall of the construction shack”.

The contractor placed full responsibility for the topsy. turvey plans on Dimprint. “Their consistenly shoddy reportmg has made us so mad that we can’t see straight”. Dimprint editor Malliceon went on record as saying, “1 am sick and tired of the lmperation constantly attacking me and my perfect paper.” He went on to say that it was his opinion that opposition to his reign was evidence of lmperation President Cluck’s personal prejudices against the fact that Malliceon had fuzzy hair and wrote poetry.-

by Arizona Jokes used for target practice in, guerilla war -training’tactics. . Dimprint stiff . President Bug Blight- was then contacted for further Dimprint has learned through anonymous, and very nervous confirmation of the rumours. Dr. Blight-told us that h.e had, sources, that last *week’s “gun-sighting”.in the Village residences indeed, heard the r.$mowSs, and ,a]#-had ~ree&@$&rre~~~ from, :,,’ ,dii was only the t$of the iceberg, so to-speak. The.‘scignti~ng, which certain: u’nnamf,d Vilfage&‘sidents. “They say they’re, going to was passed off as an M-l 6 replica watkr$istol m&taken forthe storm Defamatr&~‘~all and;occupy it, with or without a’liquor real thing, is part of a large Village arsenal consisting of licence.” D.r. Blight revealed.-“They also demanded better~food. grenades, uzis, assorted firearms and (gasp) nuclear warheads. -They say they have their missile sights trainedjon the Math,and _ The nuclear, missiles are, apparently, manufactured on the Computer building, and they’ll destroy allour high-tech tool&fpremises by several of the more clever students. Many rooms ._ we don’t meet their demands...“are said to “glow” late into the evening as these Villagers work When asked what he thought of these student terrorists, Dr. on their fiendish devices. Dimprint contacted a Village- don fo-r Blight said, “Well, 1 think they’re some crazy kind-of radicals, confirmation of this radio activity. ’ really nasty kids. I think we really ‘ought to tighten up our “1 think it’s from those glow-worms.” the don said, “You admission policies to dissuade this sort of thing...” - know, like the ones on TV. They have lightbulbs in their heads, Dr. Blight added that he wasn’ttoo worried about the threats. and when you squeeze them, they glow. 1 don’t think people “The Def executive are already.ovei&t the Hall, guarding it like could be buildingmissiles here.without anyone knowingabout a pack of hungry wolves. There’ll be no -getting past those it,” she added, fidgeting with a large clump of hair that had blood-thirsty-s.o.b.‘s. As for destroying-our computer facilities, fallen from her head earlier in the interview. we’re moving all that stuff to the PAC anyway. so they can go According to our sources, the don we spoke to is in on the right ahead and blast away!” ’ As we left, Dr. Blight’s .howls of derisive laughter echoed conspiracy. We were informed that frosh, who oncexwere subjected to silly stunts such as “peach-slurping” are now being down the corridors.

ConJJederati& president; Corn Maflison announced his betrothal to Jif;f pull$on this past week. -The rancid couple are ojfto SwazilandJor their honeymodn: Neither expects to return.

; ‘34 by Tim Quyere

iDimp$int:stiff

, ‘1 ,Ronald t odav, Ray$w tasted. his first line of cocaine. ’ The president was on h.is way to a conference on drug abuse in Miami, when a . reporter offered him “some c-rystallized Drysdan”, in response to his complaint of a runny nose. , ,’ Mr. Raygun remarked that - ‘lhe had never heard of crystal 5Drysdan, but was “willing to try anyth-ing once”. Wheri ‘the president ‘was informed’ that ,he had just snorted apporximately half a, gram. of the finest cocaine ‘when his plane landed. in

Miami, he reportedly .quipped,: “OK where is the ~ bastard with the other half!?” __When his wife tried to calm him .do.wn,- he slapped her with the back ‘of ;his hand, shouting, “it’s about time you fucked off y.o’u overbearing, over-dressed. bitch’:. * - In Miami, .the president’s prepared s’peeclh was markedly alteI”ed. He was suppaed to ’ denounce the -drug ‘trade’-which has t blossomed, in $e,cent years in the US,.‘but instead explained , at length *-how cocaine ‘was“ : ’ “the spice of life”, and how +a11 you wimpy,’ anti-drug _ freaks can take a flying lea~p. rr , _

Fuck you all; life is’ .grand”. ~ Speaking to reporters-after the speech, Mr. Raygun s,aid that they were all welcome to “crash” at the White House whenever .they wanted. p . / _- ~ He’also;said that in his next four years in office he would: push’ Congress to .leP;alize’ cocaine and “ariy: %ther goddamn drug that cures, a _ . cold”. ’ It ‘, ’ e \After meeting with’ ‘the press,.,. Mr. _ Raygun leaned ” over to an ,aide and said “if this is what Ortega _ is prod u c i ng, he can do whatever he wants”. *

Glciria Smith resigns Fjmprint- .. photo _

by The EcononGser

,’ - Fri.; Dec. 7 Birth Control Centre: Our trained volunteers provide nonjudgmental, confidential counselling and information on all methods of birth control, planned and unplanned pregnancy, subfertility and V.D. We also have an extensive lending library and do referrals to community agencies. Our hours are 9:30 - 4:30 daily and Tuesday & Wednesday evenings 7:00 - lOzOO in CC 206, ext. 2306. We‘advocate responsible sexuality. The K-W Twin City Sertoma Club, in co-operation with CKKW-AM and Conestoga Mall, will be conducting the First Annual “Christmas Miracle Caroling Night”. The event will take place on Friday, December 14,1984,6:00 --7:30 p.m. at Conestoga Mall. You are invited to assemble a group of singers to participate in this event - no participatory fee is required, however, it would be greatly appreciated if flu could bring a toy or toys that could be distributed this Christmas. Dress warmly, this event will be held outside in the soccer field at Conestoga Mall. For additional information call Gene R. Scissons 745 9403, John Keogh 579-1090, or Jim Badour 8@65500 You are invited to a unique evening of international folk dancing sponsored by th K-W lntemational Folk Dancing Group. This ‘Seasons Greetings’ party will include both participation and a special performance by the Village Folk Ensemble. DANCING! FOOD! FUN! No partners needed and beginners are welcome! Sunday, December 16 at 7:30 p.m., Adult Recreation Centre, 185 King St. S., Waterloo. $4.00 at the door per person, $1.OO for members. Wbodside National Historic Park December 1 January 6: The boyhood home of William Lyon MacKenzie King invites you to celebrate a Christmas of yesteryear decorations of the period and guides in Victorian dress bring a Christmas of the 1890’s to life. On weekends during December, special activities include hot cider, cookies and festive films. Admission Free! Woodside is located at 528 Wellington Street North in Kiichener. For more informatin call: 742-5237. Weihnachten at the Joseph Schneider Haus: December 5 - January 6, 1985 Heritage Gallery. Twas The Night Before Christmas. A pictorial tribute to Clement Moore’s famous poem written in 1822. .466 Queen Street South, Kitchener. Call 742. 7752 for further information. Bombshelter opens 12 noon. DJ every evening at g;o()p.m.Feds:no cover Others: $1 .OO after 900 . &!stmas food and toy drive for needs families and children. Please leave canned foods and toys at the turnkey desk in the Campus Centre in the big Merry Christmas box. Morning Prayer, 9:O0. a.m., St. Bede’s Chapel. ’ Anglican Campus Minstry. ’

A stunning exhibition of over 100 contemporary posters, from theatres around the world, organized by the Richmond Art Gallery, British Columbia. Posters from as far away as China, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil and Poland are presented, promoting theatre productions ranging from Shakespeare to Cinderella. This fun exhibition clearly illustrates the humour and sophistication of today’s poster art. Free admission, Art Gallery, Theatre of the Arts, Modern Languages Building. Monday to Friday 9 - 4, Sundays 2- - 5. Exhibition runs until December 16. The Mug Coffeehouse, 8:30 - 11:30 in CC 110. Come out to enjoy live entertainment, an opportunity to meet and talk to new people in a relaxing atmosphere, and delicious snacks - homemade cookies, muffins, etc., as well as tea, coffee, and apple cider. FRYDAY PUBS!! held every Friday 12 noon till 4 p.m., in Hagey Hall room 280. Weekly specials! Nonalcoholic beverages always available. Sponsored by the Arts Student Union. Salatui Jumu’a (Friday prayer) orggnized by thk Muslim Students’ Association. UW, CC 135. 1:3O p.m. -

- Sat., Dec. 8 Weihnachten at the Joseph Schneider Haus. Punch and Judy shows. Christmas story telling - 2 p.m. Cider, Pfeffernusse and Lebkuchen. 466 Queen St. S., Kitchener. For further information call 742-7752. Woodside National Historic Park: A Victorian Christmas - see Friday for details. . Bombshelter opens 6:00 p.m. DJ eve& evening at 990 p.m. Feds: no cover Others: $1.OO after 9:00 p.m. Poster Exhibition: see .Friday for details. Christmas food grid toy drive. See Friday for details. Graduate Admission Tests: Graduate Record Examinzition (GRE), M;C. 1056, 8:00 a.m.

- Sun., Dec. 9 St. Paul’s College: Wesley Chapel. Sunday service: 11:OO a.m. - 12 noon. Sunday Evening Fellowship service: 10 p.m. Everyone is welcome. Holy Eucharist: 9:30 a.m. G, f 1:00 a.m., St. Bede’s Chapel. 9:30 a.m. Village 2, East Lounge, Room 102. Anglican Campus Minstry. Church Service at WLU Lutheran Campus Ministry will offer a service of Holy Communion at 1I.:00 a.m. in the Keffer Memorial Chapel. A coffee hour will follow the service and everyone is welcome. Christian Worship on Campus: lo:30 a.m., HH 280. Sponsored by Huron Campus Ministry. Everyone welcome. Chaplain Graham E. Morbey Poster Exhibition See Friday for details.

Christmas food and toy drive. See Friday for details.

- Mon., Dec. 10 PREVENT AN UfiPLANNED PREGNANCY: for more information on birth control or sexuality call 8884096 r 8884068, Monday 8 - 11 p.m. All calls will be confidential. Morning Prayer: 9:00 a.fn., St. Bede’s Chapel. Anglican Campus Ministry. Woodside National Historic Park: Christmas - see Friday for details.

Victorian

Dimprint. Dismember 7, 1984, Evening Prayer and Sermon: Conrad Grebel College Chapel: 4:30 p.m. Exploring the Christian Faith. 7:30 p.m., Wesley Ch&el, St. Paul’s College. Leader: Chaplain Graham E. Morbey. All wetcome. , Huron Campus Ministry Fellowship. 4:30 - 7100 p.m. Common Meal: St. Paul’s Dining Hall, Fellowship Meeting: Wesley Chapel, St. Paul’s College. All welcome. Graham E. Morbey, Campus Chaplain.

Christmas food and toy drive. See Friday for details.

Candlelight Service of Holy Communion in Keffer Memorial Chapel, A!bert & Seagram Drive. 10:00 p.m., coffee hour following - sponsored by the Lutheran Campus Ministry.

Bombshelter opens 12 noon. DJ at 9:00 p.m. every evening. Feds: no cover Others: $1 .OOafter 9:00 p.m.

Woodside National Historic Park: A Victorian Christmas. See Friday for details.

Poster Exhibition:

Christmas food and toy drive. See Friday for details.

see Friday for details.

- Tues., Dec. 11 Interested in Volunteering? The Birth Control Centre is accepting applications for Winter ‘85. Come to Room 206 in the Campus Centre or call ext 2306 for further information. University of Waterloo Gynmastic Club Practice. Beginners welcome, 4:30 - 7:00 p.m. Upper Blue PAC Morning Prayer 9:00 a.m. St. Bede’s Chapel. Anglican Campus Ministry. Woodside National Historic Park: Christmas See Friday for details.

Victorian

Chn’stmas food and toy drive See Friday for details. Bombshelter opens 12 noon. See Monday for details. Poster Exhibition: See Friday for details.

- Wed., Dec. 12 Biology Undergrad Society (BUGS) holds meeting once a week on Wednesdays from 11:30 - 12:30 p.m. at-the GIeave Library.

Bombshelter opens 12 noon. See Monday for . details. Poster Exhibition: See Friday for details.

- Thurs., Dec. 13 Morning Prayer: 9:00 a.m., St. Bede’s Chapel. Anglican Campus Ministry. University of Waterloo Gymnastic Club practice. Beginners welcome. 4130 - 7~00 p.m. Upper Blue PAC Woodside National Historic Park: A Victorian Christmas. See Friday for details. Christmas food and toy drive. See Friday for details. Bombshelter opens 12 noon. See Monday for . _. details. Poster Exhibition: See Friday for details.

S&y Informed!

GLLOW (Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo) Coffeehouse in CC 110 beginning at 8:OO p.m. At 10:00 p.m., those interested will leave CC 110 to rendezvous at the Club downtown Kitchener. Call the GLLOWline for details (884-4569) Rides available. Morning Prayer: Anglican Campus Holy Eucharist: Anglican Campus

9:00 a.m:, St. Bede’s Chapel. Ministry. 12:30 p.m., St. Bede’s Chapel. Ministry.

Imprint subscriptions $8.00 /

140.

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by Millsop War&y ‘ \ women need a good man that that her hushand creat,ed the Fedprint. staff ’ makes them stay home and.trivial ‘posuion be.cause. she Shortly after&e birthday attempted’ to introduce --housekeep. fiousekeeping is a measures of ionciliati-on and -‘good wo’man’s ~rdy entertainparty ; of- ,ihe j, I$ulrooknee 3.-family’s pet ‘beaver,‘Kannda, ment. Every woman’ should forgiveness into his new Meely-Mouth Mulrooknee policies. s learn the value of -loving her -. was appointed, by no other man and doing ,his dishes.” than her h’usband, to be the ’ With a puzzled look, Meely Feminist -groups around new minister of Trivial responded to the accusation Canada had mixed reactions. Affairs. I by shaking her pretty brown Jane Thinkmore, a leading The positionwas created by locks and puttmg on a slight, feminist- lecturer, stated , in t-he Minister of Women’s but not too .pensive; frown. rather harsh terms that Meely Affairs, hon. Robert WelchSays Meely: “Ladies of the was the perfect “girl” for the aid, -after the- persistance of eighties need to hear the first job. the Conservative backwoman of . their country “Our puppy-dog Prime benchers’ wives to-create a assure them that men don’t Minister has himself a perfect -position that would “glorify want them for their brains barbie-doll wife, 1 think they and condone the usefulness of only. Gentlemen, like my ’ can. bo.th be proud to now Bran-wheat need a good wife the society lady.” share the role of Ministers/of PM Mulrooknee was and a loving servant to come .Trivial affairs. Yes, Meely is ; pleased that his wife was the home to. You know, to talk right, she should stay home to first to be chosen for the I trivial and gay things with: I keep her husband happy, and Trivial-Minister position. He always make sure that Bran perhaps her husband should beamed as the reporters in his comes home to a clean stay home to keep the country elegant house on 25 S‘outhsex household and sparkling happy.” . Drive, and demurely said “my ‘bathtubs, I do those bathtubs Another die-hard feminist, wife needed this position to myself.” . Ernestine Angelkneel, of the ensure her happiness and When asked if she ever Toronto Women and Animal enable her to reach-out to all. wanted,to helpherhusband in Protection from Abuse those unhappy career women the difficult affairs of state, Centre, excitedly exclaimed and remind them they need she gave a start and in hushed how glad she was that Meely not involve themselves in. the tones replied, “1 would never had forced her way into sordid business of politics and presumeto tell my Bran how _ political wheeling and job-hunting. I think that my * to run his little country. I dealing. “A big step to wife wants to help me, but she would never dare to tell him correcting politics that .-men shudders at the thought. of _ how to behave, to act, to have . have perpetrated on us sticking her pretty little nose. fun. Ifs my darling wants to women, a giant leap for in the complicated world of smoke or have a sip of liquor, womankind. Great courage bureaucracy::’ it is not my.position to tell my on her part! Meely ha.s proven man his duties. I think most of Meely, would be the first that women can be trivial and one to agree. It was rumoured those unhappy business necessary at the same time.”

by N.E: Time ’ Fedprint staff At the last meeting of the Imps, the chair strongly urged fellow Imps tot take affirmative acti-on. The issue: the compelling need to fell all outstanding and upwardly mobile persons. When asked to)explain, the Chair remained ehigmatic, refusing further

comme.nt. However, he intimated that the man upstairs’ was atop it all. I - sought out the man upstairs, . but unfortunately, being aneternal mover( not to mention upwardly mobile), he cou!d not be pinned down..:well almost, anyways. Upon being cornered he admitted that there might be a

plot to get him down(stairs). “Being so upwardly mobil.e”, he said,...“1 am bound to get tripped -by lower forms at; every opportunity. Many attempts have been madex(to date) to trip right out, but none of them were successful. Of late they.have fallen upon a new tactic -- raising the roof.

What do \ th;y hope to achieve? To quash the man upstairs? What they do not realize is that they are- only helping me to be more. upwardly mobile.”

As a finai note, when asked .’ ’ to comment on his constant victimization, he said,. “1 am. Fed up!” ^

by X.V.P. Wilson _ , responded by saying that Dimprint staff “having people throw darts at my likenessis a concept I have Confederation of Students’ been working on for quite Vice-president, Operational some time. We have prepared Affairs and External Liason, the market well-and promoted Peter Bungle announced the the- idea in a number of sale of a new product to be different ways. I think this sold in the Confederation product will realy off’. Campus Shop. The new item, -_. take -_ . Uimprint editor Jorge Elvis fashioned after_ a conventional dart board has a Cluck was heard commenting recently (to a person in the likeness of President Corn know,’ who informed. a friend, Mallison painted on the who telephoned the person surface. The cost is $7.50, who% desk is the next to mine) which is refundable if not used a in the first term that you buy j that he’ had organized comptiti;\;e team, that “Those it. OFS ,darfs aren’t good According to Mr. Bungle, enough, .’ we’re using lawn the sales have been going darts instead. T.he lawn darts ’ “extremely well- and many may seem a ‘little-big at first, students are buying the Official OFS darts along . but that’s what we like to use . on the Mr. Mallison board”. with it”. These darts sell for ?. the low price of $1.50. -The Malhson dart boards z When approached for sol,d out. ‘comment, ‘Mr. Mal-lison are cu.rrently

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I by Crass Woodscow The blowing sand stung my eyes as I surveyed the ? terrain. The bleak, windswept, desert landscape was $ completely desolate save for some boulders, scattered, /ii parched cacti and about a dozen, weather-beaten, plastic, pink flamingoes left over from some unsuccessful garage J sale somewhere in an unnamedsuburbia with their “$1.98 3 or best offer” tags still intact. 4 5 In the distance, a huge .mountain of matter advanced I slowly but steadily, with the type of noise a street cleaner 3 makes when it wakes you up at four in the morning after p you’ve tied one on the night before. It had every * appearance of a huge, all-consuming sandworm from a f Frank Herbert novel and 1 commenced a strange, 7 awkward dance, totally devoid of any pretence of rhythm d in an effort to shake the writhing sand castle off my trail. i Under the strange feeling that I was being watched by ; someone with some degree of disapproval, I glanced ~ behind and was startled to behold an exceedingly sober< looking man clad in the traditional black cap and gown ; uniform of graduation ceremonies. He wore the fixedly, stern countenance of the schoolmasters who perpetually 3 tormented Spanky and Alfalfa and their pals and held in ” his right hand a rather wrathful-looking cane and a first 1 ‘ year physics textbook in his left. With his expression strangely unchanging, he pointed < ‘behind me with his unfriendly cane. Apprehensively, I turned my head and, to my horror, was something much ’ worse and horrible to look upon than the most raveneous jandworm conceivable. Rising ominously from the desert floor, looking not unlike the title of a Monty Python picture in the movie ads, was a particular voracious and barbarous physics formula: E = MC2 , where E represents something which I no longer have any desire to remember. It was creeping and rumbling ever closer to me but, as I urned around to make my escape, the not-so-benevolent ,man endo.wed with a not-so-nice piece of hickory glared +t me with an indescribable look of demanding severity. 4gain he pointed to the formula which was becoming ncreasingly close and imposing. Taking his meaning to be that I should recite the Formula, I stammered, “E = M2C. 1 felt thecruelcanecut into my back as the man snapped impatiently, “Learn it!” I made another attempt, “M = EC2” I blurted out and felt the sting of the stick again and heard the shrill voice implore me, “Learn it!” The ,formula advanced closer. 1 made another vain attempt as stating the formula, Crack! “Learn it !” The formula was drawing nearer. ‘C2 = EMC.” Crack! “Learn it.1” The formula was so close to me that 1 could make out ‘the individual rocks which composed its mountainous bulk. “Learn it!“, he snapped at me incessantly. My head .jpun and 1 felt nauseous. The formula looked likeit was about to engulf me and nevitably . . crush me, out of existence (no, its.increasing proximity to me was not symbolic of my coming closer to learning it, which 1 never did), when the man in black started laughing - demonically with great satisfaction. In desperation, I shrieked dozens of variations of the formula, none of them being quite correct and, were it not l’or my understandable terror, 1 would have found the figure of the scholarly gentleman seized by spasms of mcontrollable laughter, rolling on the ground, drooling Iwith inexplicable delight at my failings, quite amusing indeed. The shaking of the ground in the vicinity of the formula reminded me of home when any member of my uniformly obese family makes any sort of visually noticeable movement, except that it wasn’t quite so severe. This was a good thing since between the deranged man of knowledge howling at my feet and the deafening roar of the formula which was almost upon me, I could scarcely gather my wits to think. The formula blotted out the sun, the effect of its massiveness .and nearness being, 1 suppose, akin to drawing up beside the Queen Mary in’ a rowboat. 11 discerned that slowly, the formula was tipping over with malevolent intentions to my person; it had already had sufficient opportunity to bask in its conquest of my

.You Can Buy a Doll With Your /Faction It f‘II To the editor: Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language is the word “fuck”. It is the one magical word which, just by the sound, can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb in the transitive (John fucked Mary), or in the intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck), or a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give alf;uck), or an adverb (Mary isficking interested in John), and a noun (Mary is a finefuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary looks fucking gorgeous). It should be obvious now that there a& not many words as versatile as fuck. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used in many different situations: 1 FRAUD - I’ve been fucked by my insurance agent. DISMAY - Oh: Fuck it. TROUBLE - I guess 1’mf;ucked now. AGGRESSION - Fuck you. CONFUSION - What thefuck:’ w DIFFICULTY - 1 can’t understand this jiickin ’ business. DESPAIR - Fucked again.

PHILISOPHICAL - Who gives afuck.9 I RELIGIOUS - Holy Fuck INCOMPETENCE - He’s a jixk up. LAZINESS - He justfucks around. DISPLEASURE - What thefuck is going on? SU RPRlSE - That’s too fuckin’ much! Use it for descriptive anatomy - He’s aficking asshole. Use it to tell time - It’s fivefucking thirty. Use it in business - How did I get thisfuckin’job? It can be a prediction - Oh, will 1 get fucked. ’ It can have maternal connotations - Motherfucker. It can be nautical - Fuck the Admiral. It can be political - Fuck Trudeau. It can open the door to beautiful relationships - Let’s jixk. It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word as in “BeautijUckinj~ll. ” The ‘mind finally boggles at the many creative uses, How could anyone be offended when you sayfuck. Use it in your daily speech. It adds prestige. So tell someone today -- “Fuck you.” Shy Garter ’ . 4A Bath

4x 1 bkI. kf $ k: %!k kz L ik: Jk I kI b k .’ Jk k:I %!k 1 h kr

familia bht *0 What? You have a class that’s just the opposite? Why don’t ou reward the erson res onsible b nominating him or her !or a DlSTlNGfiSHED TE%CHER A&ARD? All it takes is a letter describing your professor’s particular: approach to teaching ,and just wh you find It effectiveSend our nomination to the Teat K ing Resource Office ilu eedles Hall room 3005),where you can also set a complete list of guidelines for preparing a submission. This year’s deadline for nominations

is February 8 1985.

JkII

weight with my meagre strength. It was, unfortunately, to no avail and 1 had _ no consolation except that my companion who was still convulsed with his evil, contemptible laughter would probably suffer the same ‘inauspicious end as 1 would. 1 let out a hideous scream of defiance and, waking, found my head submerged in the physics notes, now incoherently drenched in my perspiration, which I had been studying before 1 realized the futility of attempting to do well on my exam and opted for a nap. However, before 1 could recover my senses 1 was bludgeoned with a variety ‘of blunt instruments by my roommates whom I had apparently awakened from the blissful, untroubled s!eep incurred by being enrolled in an Arts course and having only two exams to worry about, and not having the fear of being weeded out.

“Brown Christmas” (Instrumental) :,“‘&by’s Go,t No Eyes” L : To All the GiAls Wk’ve Bought Before” “Dancjng On Myself’? “I Slept With Mick and it Made Me Sick” “Rocky Four the Dance Album”

“Beat It All Night< Long” “He’Heard It Through the Carbine” “The ‘Fed Hall Blues” “I Will) Swallbw” “I Really Wapt You To Hurt Me? . by Tame Pervert ~ Therers some good news for Billy Nelson fans. The burned out country singecplans to record a new single’ with Twisted Blister catled, “Mama don’t’ let y&r babies grow to be Greaseballs”. ,., ’ d;o&an + Lemnioh agiees with th,? repb;rts in the press which say he tries to s&nd like his dad: “I warited to sound like *Muck qugger but me and my music teacher, Pool McCourtney, want to starti a musica! group called the Rolling Bottle&“. Dr. Bug Blight g&s skinny-dipping, before taking the plunge.

but asks Gcke Zera and Tame Pervert

hoI* the Mvater is ’ The

Bad Breath

Boy’s

y Geke Zero bisexuality: attribute possessed by ‘i,velybody, by nobody or by some people. Utopia or limbo, In some cases, a learner’s icense for homosexuality. Bisexuality if often thought to be something to aspice to by persons who would never conSkier xoadening their tastes within the ,sex of their ‘initial preference.

:hildren: young, small human beings used by some leterosexuals as a means of flaunting their Sexual proclivities. jai: abi?ormally happy lay liberation: militants’ engaged in a wicked attempt tobeleaguer gays into abandoning their most basic principles of elf-abasement. ltelligence: the ability to be convincingly pretentious. :ather: material used in the manufacture of clothing. It is noted Dr causing the human exterior to resemble that of a bald cow. sp: an unnecessarily sibilant pronunciation of the common jlglish word ‘Lithp”. Lithping . is most common among peakers of Castilian Spanish ( ‘Ethpanol”), all of whom have ad strong mothers and weak fathers, or authoritarian fathers nd weak, clinging mothers. uclear power: electricity fdr nuclear families. ecruitment: ‘a highly imaginative hypothesis which attempts to ccount for both the origin of gay men and the fact that many of lem have short hair. eject: (pronounced REE-ject). Someone less appealing than ou were last time you got rejected. tight wing: along with the left wing, half the propulsive force of a ightless bird. issy: a young boy. engaged in any productive activity, eg., .art, ooking, seting. ogether: well&djusted, serene. Often said of fetal material. dmboy: a young .girl who gets &fiiient--excercise. Innatural act: any everyday human activity not equally typical of attle, sheep,. and- horses. Singing, smdking, and various eterosexual and homosexual acts are included.

WAILABLE’WINTER TERM,1985 Male and Female Residence Roe-ms Double Accomodation for stud&s For more information; Father David Hartry? Warden of Residences, Renison College, University of Waterloo W,ATERLOO, Ontario, .(519) l

please

Thuusands

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Opening Jan.3/85

UiL VI

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Dec.21 ’ SpwialBinsfor

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2. Frannie Goes To Waterloo i W&ome & Oktoberfest 3. Sindi Froot Looper - She’s So Colourful 4. Madunea - Me A Virgin? 5. Twisted Blister - I Like To Clean My Room 6. Boi, Stringbean - Another Three Hour . Concert 7. Maggot Brains - Computer Age 8. Psychodalik Mink Coats - Mirror Lines 9, Jooiian Lemmon - .I Sound Like My Dad 10. Teaqa Burner - What’s A Hit Single Got To Do With It . 1 Just, Applied: Noo Releases I \ 1. Heavy Metal Mean Face -Our Moms’ Near I ,\Chains and Leather , - A’nother Very Happy Love Song 1 Sing With Happy Friends I-

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& Billy Nelson Stallone

Michel Jerkson & Linus Richel Marvin Gay $r. Tom. & The Allytunes ’ You Too & Linda ~LuvIace Joy Barge & Commie Club \

:c 0 ’ :Fr 0 up with the deceased- Sid Savage to m record a new single cajled “It hurts to be 0 ’ dead”. When asked what role Sid would @ , ’ play in the recording, Voinit Pig, lead, 0. ’ singer ‘of the BB Boys, said “Sid is there , because he’s easy& work with. We also 0 ’ plan to use him in the song’s video: he’s - :’ gonna- play a dead guy”, j ’ . @ . _.Joy Barge, Michael Jerkson, and 0 Frank Sin&a should release- their 12” single soon, entitled “Our Songs are 0 St upid”. “We didn’t want tq .do the sonjg” a.:, said Jerkson. Mr; Sins&a’s business partneis, Viricenio. and Carlo, suggested we could make some money together,%0 we went along with the deal”, said Barge. 0

l l

1 ,sit- d@yn..ShUt -up..;.Mei&e .Sup.p&

, by Bilka !kesponsibil@ \ also have got to go. It u&d to Like i was saying, all this Did you ever notice ’ be that a man could enjoy subversion can be traced to how Andy Rooney never h-is constitutional right to these. media atheists who attacks feminists (not to. blow somebody -away, but trade the flag for a roll of mention how often he says toi let paper. They force on these pinko liberals have “Did you ever not ice....“)? restricted our freedom tom --us their communistic This,;fellow rednecks, is-due to all- schools, their communistic the massive. inflow bf * suport pur God-fearing, American Nationalistic birth control, and their communist inspi red feminist propaganda,most of w@h’ I Riflers Association. ’ ’ / . communistic “-Three’s It’s getting to the point, Corn pa ny”: : canbe traced back to Cuba or. It’3 al-! t.his equal, where you can’t even set a Nicaragua. bus full of Commies on fire. opportunity s***. that’s to .What ever Who will defend these stars blame.for the plant closing happened to :the -good old .and stripes in our time of down. Since those MewYork days when youcou’ld r@u’rn \ types-came down - w.ith their need? home f ram* -a ‘-seedy liberalism - things re!ationship and have wifeyThey took’away our rights to textbook march in Skokie, and pretty haven’t been the same. tasty se rve up. some Unions ain’t gojng to help. soon theThoughtPoIicewiI1 macaroni and A&P stewed requires be out in suburban Pheonix. This situation ’ tomatoes, all without one It won’t end unless we put a :good old-fashioned action. question, red hot and with a Iron the sheets, would yai stop to this slime. smile? _ . Honey.Ah,shit,youstarched Pass the Stove ‘Top These civil rights types .^ Stuffing, would ya Honey. my hood again.

‘L

I Closing D’ec.21/84 . Re-6penihg. Jan.2/85

‘:

STUDENT LIVE ()I+. CAMPUS

ACCOMiVlODATION

DURING

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by Eric Ectomprph appendages, in the hope pf ,I think itwas Oscar Wilde; or ’ discovering a pearl. * some other equally unsavoury - Throughout history, its just English Ponce,. who said these been one boot after another, words: ‘$ was :a -brave man stomping on the- crustacean who first ate’an oyster”. Briefly, race -- ads forshrimp salad are it’s this sort of p eudo only the latest manifestation of intellectual drivel that “ma% esjt this offensive t myth perpetrahard for mollusks;and ted by the soft-bodies, that crustaceansof all kinds; to crustace‘an,s chitonous receive the slightest- bit of . exteriors conceal “all manner respect in the world today. .’ “. of pulpy nastiness. How can a self-respecting . Walt Whitman, that pioneer shellfish be expected to keep of endomorphic propaganda, slugging it out in t h e once stated that he “never met workforce when he/she is an ,endomorph I didn’t like” -little vermin surrounded by endomorphs, , the offensive, . whose only slimey purpose is might just as well have said to explore a mollusks’ every that. he never met a clam orifice ,-with -its repulsive he didnrt li,ke. Even . _chowder -

Next Term%

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Jan. 17: Alli Katz

Jan. 9: _The Annex on Bishop Street 2 (above St,; Catherin.e Street).

’ (105th Street)

Stoney iMondays

Calgary

. !

Jan. 10: Molly L-McGuires

. a

,a i

230-7775.

(

Jan. 9: -r The Jolly Miller /-

. ’ _

Jan. 16: The Brunswick House. .

Milton (that’s HarveyMilton, in his epic tract Paradise at Cost), said that “it is, whereas and whererfore, consequently and ipso facto, liabeus corpus ergo caveat emptor, my intention -- pro rate, tabula !asa,- and ad nauseum -- tt> justify the ways- of men’ to mollusks”. Justify, my ‘thorny protuberance; the man was a fleshy, propoganda -artist of the firstdegree, and it’s this sort of‘ ri-ght-ventricle, endomorphic vitriol that has to be wiped out at all costs. Don’t just stand there -5sit down, and be proud of being - a crustacean! -

Jan. 10: Highlander Hotel Scotland. Yard’

\ -

Jan.. 16: The,.Old Munich- House

Jan. 17:

Dinni’e’s Den *

-I (St. Denis ‘& Dorchester) .j (University of’ Calgary) . . , _I s Additional .Information will be. av-ailable at the first _. Pubs or from the Federationof Students -I

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.by EngSOC the Federation \

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bpwts Diatribe: The/. Concordia Conspiracy -* I -.

program) was present. At fir&, he was reluctant to discuss the by Sundae- Teetotaler issue, but, after a few beers at the Bombshelter, he began to - Hello, Little Eight. Goodbye Big .Four. loosen up. In fact, it is also goodbye to the OUAA. ln a recent, secret The neti league, he said, would mean more work C.R. &ff but meeting, the Coricordia group have proposed a plan which they we_r_ more thqn capable of handling the e&a resp&sibility. would rationalize athletic competition at Ontario universities. The Concordia group, (&linje known b$‘yvery influential, _--He was glad!. that- -‘frny staff - would finaly be: ‘getting t&e. , recognition, gloQ.and power that they deserved”. organ&&ion) has put forth a plan that wotild combine the In fact, his 6ies be;gan to light up at ‘the prospect of getting ’ unive@ties and community colleges into regional leagues. In more power. I was only able to have a short interview (-10 6ur case, UW, wou@ join with Laurier, McMaster, Guelph and the minutes) becatise Mark passed out aft&r the third beer. community colleges at Conestoga, Mohawk, Sheridan, and the When Mark passed out I was left empty handed without Ontario Agricultural QllegC at Guelph. . anyone to intelview. It was,n’t until I had consumed my tenth beer No‘ one, ab?olutely no one, could be reached .in the UW, - that I foGid- someone else ‘to talk t0.l administration to cotimeni on this plan. it is wmoured though, Skggering through the mist and slime of the Bombshelter ‘that apparently, Dr. Bug Blight approves of the reorganization. It came Sammy Singlet. He fell ‘father thati sat down at my table. is possible, but unlikely, that he said, “Our travel budgets will be I tried-to understand what he was-saying btit it was impossible. grkatly reduced and the local rivalries would be intensified, thus He was making as much sense talking to me as he does writing increasing fan support”. his column in the paper. To prevent the universities from embarrassing and thrashing After one more beer, the poor man slid under the table. At that ’ the colleges, the universities would have to disband their varsity point, I decided enough is enough and I quickly exited the athletic programs. In UWs case, the teams which would Bombshelter. compete in the new leagues would be the Campus Rec. Scrambling for more info- I headed for the Athletic champions. Department. Upon arrival I discovered that a party was going on. I Sources tithin the Athletics Department -are ,said to be pleased with the devklopment. Yost of the senior staff are i Grabbing the first drunk, I quickly learned that this was an early retirement darty and that all the staff were leaving for Florida the apparently looking fon#?rd to early retirement. This move would next day. The staff had decided not to fight the issue and they only accelerate their plans. were all making plant to iet the h--- out of the university. ‘. The bnint of the problems would fall to the co-ordinator of the It appeais as if the proposal of the Concordia group has been Campus Ret,. program, Peter Hopkins. He was holidaying in accepted by the University and that next term we can look r Hawaii and was unav?ilable for comment. FoI’tunately, Mark Eckert, this terms Co-orhinator Of forward to watching Conestoga, Mohawk, etc., grace our $gym floors‘. Looks like fun. f Convenors, - (and the real power behind the Campus Rec.

Special X-mas rates to. II of W Students’ on long tr.ips ’ I 10% Discount on Rental and Mileage Free pick-up and delivery to and from U of W

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There’s so much, to tell you’ about, for instance, Rick, my English professor, but I know how much you want to find o.ut about the everyday things, the banal trivialities of life

by Prep B. Simp the 3rd Dear Mom and Dad Gosh, isn’t it wierd how much you can crave that first morning joint after a night of sustained partying and grad poaching?

here. My friends think that your interests are kind of strange, .but...you’re the ones who are paying- for

this,

so...

I’m just lying here in Rick’s bedroom, (what a hunk, mom), stoking on a humungousbomber and looking ’ at his slides of Tibetan erotic art. Dad, you know how much you get the munchies after a good toke? Well, Rick solved that problem: , he’s got a bucket full of peaches to slurp, right by the bed! He has his own apartment, what a relief. No more “interruptions”, if you know what I mean. (smirk, smirk.) I’m all settled here at my new place. in the Villi-poo 827. My room-mates are quite the pair. Spike belongs to some sort of club. (I think it’s a Kar Klub, like the one at SCentral Android High, cause he’s always talking “STP”. I about using think he’s kind of a putz, it’s so much.easier to buy it by the can at Crappy Tire. Marcel is studying “Hairdressing as Political Comment” for his Disinte*grated Studies degree. He says it’s a very complex . topic. -His specialty will be 9eards as Instruments of Control” and will focus on Castro, Arafat, and Orson Welles. ’ . Oy Gevalt! Look at the time. I have to go see a man about a dog, if you know what I mean. Boyohboyohgollygeewowieshickins,

THECANADIANMINERAL INDUSTRY EDUCTlON FOUNDATION off brs

UBIDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIPS in

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Your loving Android, MINING or MINERAL ENGINEERING and ’ Preppie ‘.EXTRACTWE or PROCESS METALLURGICAL ENGINEERING ’ P.S. If a man calls you claiming to be Rick’s $%ooo ’ “boyfriend”, don’t listen to

SIX-TRACK ntbo~ ==-lm PRESENTATION

’

Starts Toni ht 2 Shows Ni htl 78~B 1.. Matinee Sa ?A g un. 2p.m. _.-

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to students wishing to enter the fkst or subsequent professional year of a degree course in Mining or Mineral Engineering and Extractive OJ-Process Metallurgical Engineering. For applications contact: The Secret&y, Canadian Mineral Industry Education Foundation, P.O. Box 45, Commerce Court west, Toronto, Ont.

him.

It’s all lies.

The Dean of Engineering Applied Science .

CLOSING

DATE: FEBRUARY

8, 1985

Jan. 26 GllilAT

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-- - -------

Friday,

December

7, ‘1984; Vol. 7, plfo..21,

Parade, Nolvember I 7,51984. .+Dream Cakusel E&-l Stieler. U WS theatre andaallerv oberafions

’.’

CIAO 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Student

-- designed bj director. Float‘

1 Warriors

rankings

Waterloo Victoria Lethbridge’ Winnipeg Acadia

The

the Fe&ration ,

1ookirC

University

of’ Student:.

down

compete

up and dunk

by Hiikka McCallum /A I.mprint staff ’ Glo?ia Smith, the coordinatoiof lnteg-rated Studies, resigned on Monday, December 3rd. No explanation. was released by administraiion. The secretary af IS put up notices ori that day informing IS studehts and staff of Mrs. Smith’s resignation, after she received a call from Mys; Sinith o)l I‘- Sunday,-Decemb‘er 2nd, 1984. ‘. According’ to :one #IS _- student, who.wishes to remain t :an,onymo.us, the” secretary of -.--.the vice-president, acadchlic, , I&. Brzustowski, phoned the _ : IS secretary on. Tuesday, ’ &ce&jer 4th to say thatthe resignation ‘should be’ kept private -until II today; ’ The stude.nts of IS were under the impression that Mrs. Smith’s formal. explanation -would be pirb’licized- early in the week. )The sudden resighation equipmen.t, Sponsored 6.1. came after a- troubled week tI,w+l+@t-iur.; bgtg&ollo~w/: _ pr&&&: Oti., -y.Thur‘sday, November ’ 29t.h, the, bpefa^ I

&et:

shot <heap.

When asked to give reasons , for U V&s basketball s&cess, co&h Don McCrae said that all of his players are in the “right positions”. He explained that veteran players

OUAA

losing -only one inatch in the tournahent -_ to Western’s number 1, Jamie Crombie; . In the finals, Rob Bowder gave Western’s number 2 man, Ray McDonald, a tough match before lqsing 3 games, while Ron Hurst and. Rob Calder each succeeded in winning a game from their

....._........... ~

Ontario.

titins @until, ;the -stud&governing body, of this individual’ study X,program; passed two;tiotions relating ’ to the cdnflict bet‘ween the coordinator and the IS students and staff. I - The fir& motion que’stioned t-he co:ordinator’s - improper complaint procedure concerning t.w6 resourcepersonnel (teaching aids) and their alleged “btimidation of staff”. The council motidn ratified the good-standing of the two res’ource persons . . “involved.. ! ‘[he second motion proposed t-o undertake a vote of confidence; in the coo.r$inat.o; since t&e., council .has received complain’ts through th’e Resource Perions and Staff Committee, concerning the co-ordinator: , , This vote had been scheduled to be‘ held on December l&h, the day after be ,sC,hp,$u.l.qd.Stqa&e Review of IS is released.. : -

-creation ,

On Saturday, De,cember player, finished first in thi: lst, five teams in the OUAA . ;o&nament with:24 points, Western Section; comprising with Warriors placing second of Waterloo, Western, WLU, with 17 points, followed by McMaster and ‘Guelph Laurier with 13 points, whcile competed in the first ranking Guelph and McMaster tied in OUAA Squash tournament last place with 3 points each. L of the year. ‘Sl/estere, led by. Once again, Mike Costigan Jamie Crombie, last year’s_ played excellent squash;) number 1 Canadian Junior

Costigan

Waterloo,

. I

Who ya gonna call for basketbail ’ supremacy?’ The Warriors Basketball. team, that’s who!

Fives universities

Mike

of Waterloo,

’

The latest ‘CiAo rankings put UW’s ball-and-net wonders at the top of the lay-

Newspaper;

Squash

A local athlete, Mike attended high school at Grand River in Kitchener and had his first squash training under Sandy Morgan at the K-W Racquet Club. In his four years with- the Warriors, Mike has accumulated quite an impressive squash record.

showing at its first invitational competition of the season. Although not ail of the members of the team Corinna comes to Waterloo competed, seven medals were from Pickering, Ontaria.. captured and all of the skaters where she was an ‘Ontario placed in the top five of their scholar arid an all-round; ‘respective categories. athlete. She is currently Carol Ranki placed first in enrolled in the first year of the the Junior Similar. Pairs, Mathematics program at . second in‘ intermediate uw. and third inSingles, Corinnais the Athena’s Intermediate Interpretive. second highest scorer-with 156 Helga Zielke captured a points in 12 games.

Corinna Leug Baiketball

like Randy ,Norris, Rob Fi-oese, ’ and Peter Saiich, h&e “come into their own”. As for being number 1, Coach McCrae said that this status dem.onstrates “recogni.tion that every athlete would like to have”. ’ . .

tournament1. Western identical

opposite numbers scores of 3-1.

By placing second in this tournament, Waterloo-is guaranteed of a place in the OUAA finals and will be playing against the Eastern Section teams in Toronto on January 1 Ith, 1985.

Allison Hayes-Sheen pl&ed first in -Junior interpretive and Junior Singles. . Stephanie Muller placed second in Open .Ladies Sin@es. ) Congratulations to _ B&b’ Brubacher, Karen .McColeman, Kathy S;anega, Anha Olasalva and Heather Hulme. The next competition is January 18,. 1985 at York University.

by Mathew Ingram imprint staff Adcording to Federatidn president Tom Allison, approximately 29 per cent of the students who paid their Fed Hall fee at the beginning of the terti lined up to have it refunded last week. Mr. Allison said he originally expected the number of refunds to be approximately 18yc, co-rresponding to the percentage of students who qpposed the building of Fed Hall in the summer ‘83 referendum. ”

The ‘discrepancy; Mr. Allison felt, is attributable’to ’ the fact that the refund came at the end df berm, when a lot of students need Ihe extra money. Most of the students he spoke to in the line-ups were .pleased with the building, M-r. Allison said. I According to. Mr. Allison, t$he Federation should have no problem dealing with the deficit left as a result of the refund, because a line of credit at a bank should’ cover the :amouni.

’

Imprint is the student kewepaper at the Uniyersity. of . Waterloo. It - is an editorially indegenden$ newspeper published by Itippint Publications, ‘Waterloo, a, corporation without share capital: Imprint is a. member’ of the Ontario ~bnp&ty Newspaper &oc&&ion (OCN&), and, a m&qber of, Ca~+dkk Uweksity PPQss (CUP). Itiprint ‘kkeikes national advertising , f&n : Campus p’lus. Imprint publishes every second miday during $he Spr$g term and every Friday during the remap term& Ma should be addressed to “Imprtit,. CampuS Gentke Room 140;, ‘Univer~~~9f’Wa~rlrloo.’ e&a~ploo,- @&&.” Second Class Mail Registration No. 5453. 5- _ 1 :Imprin$ *serves the right ko,screexq; edit; arid retie i 1. .~~ve3ztisjng. ‘.-_ . : j 1, ~l.I -, vJJ$. 2, ./ * ,_ ImbSint,: ISSN’ 070&7380 _

\ .

i”’

1 .

Pres(mtsk x.,.Aw SCb Stinta prepares -his Christmas li&:for .an&her ,. For Edmund Bovey, the chairman of the erstwhile Bovine Commission, Santa h-as a present of ten dairy +ids 7 Dr. y&r.,Ofcourse, h6 has to b& ri.lost.@vetitive-Fh.en he thinks I of u\i\l;fdr it’s “citizens”‘.tastes are unjqu& to say the least. - Bette Stephenson and her a/d& - to help ‘him milk the ‘..” , Fq@‘l.dti,AlIisp.n,.Fed.eration’d;fStudents student body dry. Mr. Bovey need not suffer and discomfort tire&dent; Santa ‘that might be &used by tightening hisown belt, for Santa is $&&‘@I ail,-pbrpose,lwash grid-wear,collapsible student pub .-irtr;at;.is.~g~aranteed-,~~ alwa.ys give, sh&ter to any thirsty going to provide him with a crown corporation directorship, sttu$mi Upon $ ‘tiotient’s notice. He also has .a non: good for at !east 20 Tory Blue years. retun$able under a-ny‘con&&fis Fed Hall fee that is t6 be For th&fotks at Imprint, Santa has a magic formula that u&d whenever. necessary to prokide&bital’for a stra’i)ned -wilt give the publi$hing corporation control over its office,‘ Federation budget. sp&e and a free suppliof pizza and schnapps to suivive all . ... For Gloria Smith, the former co-ordina’t:or -of Integrate‘d the- long, cord, ion/ely, and paranoid production’ nights. $tud&s, ,who had many difficulties in. attempting to - LAnd, for all the students who’ve worked hard this-term, r&oncile. her students’s’ tradition of self-government with j and-for all- those who’ are graduating,. Santa;.has a hearty ’ thR. vice-pre&dent,academic, Dr. Brzustowski’s apparent “Congratulati6ns!” and (it is hoped) a rettirn trip ticket to -“,visipn of bureaucratic normalcy, Santa has a medicine ball Jal;naica, or Florida, or any place that’s warm for Christmqs of Hannukah. - tp;h@p her regain her co-ordination and bal?&e. :.IFor Dr. Doug Wright; UW’s presidefit, Santa has a twoIt has been .a long ,and,difficult terin in many ways, but \ four ‘of ‘Heineken for the stag he’s sure to thr,r?w on Ne&, wer .the staff~of Imprint feel that the hard times make the =.’ Ye&s Day in memory of ‘the l’usty days of his youth. Santa, 1apl$oaching good‘times of egg nob and mistletoe all the is also bringing Dr. Wright a Joe Wieder. body-building kit more. rewarding. We hop-e you feel th_at way too. so he can b&ome strong enough to defend himsetf fiom Merry Christma’s, Happy Hannukah, and see you ori the$ngry mobs of athletes who d&like his administration’s January Qh, 1985. $cheduling of algebra courses in the gymnasium building. Sicrrity C1~1cc.w GIMI the 10 little uwwrt 1 .I

George Elliott Clarke ’. c Carl Davies Doug Tait . Christopher Ricardo Scipio Hitkka Mcdallum & . Shayta Gunter Signi ,Madden News Editors & Dave Sider Claudio Cacciotti Arts Editor Willlam Knight Assistant Arts Editor Bob Butts Sports Photo Editor Photo.Editor T , Anna Marie Hubbard Nimet Mawji Office Manager Head Typesetter, , Liane Smith Typesetters -- . Angela Evans . , Kathy Vannier , Bookkeeper, : Rob Van Eke& Assistant Bookkeepers Doris Prets ^. \. & John Tracey

Editor ’ Assistant 1Editor Production Manager Advertising Manag& Advertising Assistants

Contributifig Staff +‘ ,

assignment; , Wearily1 we headed. ior the week when ‘prqfesqors discgwer, ,much to their ‘horior, that they f&got <a. large chunk-of.the course. Qi@ey:re-teach parts,with confusing. resul‘is..Qthersdecide-the final. they had set was far too ’ i &asy fc$ou,r level .($equc&tion and p@eed tae&rge our spheres of knowle.dQe> My sphere -.has -already :be,en m~*i~iz~d~ thank-you. _. Then, there are the professors who have discovered that <he week they took off to Florida has finalty caught up with them. We can’t possibly forget the ones who withdraw the s’<jlutions to assign’ments and midterm from the EMS _ hny,Ir~~hdS’-$nb.‘I.‘~ad” .been good all term, br so we library. And finglly, the ones who thought that it would be neat to teach the course in a totally alien way to everyone t~o~~~~~~~-at~~.~~~~~~s many clas& as we could (except. else, discover that they aie-not setting up the final’and have. , 3or il$$& ,8:36% -when we overslept because we just not be6n consulted in the proc&s of selectitig material. ’ coui$$$fa’ce th&piof#sor) and we all coped magnificently 4X . k: with th& Barr&&‘& a’s$tgnments. Thank-you \iery much. At-the end of every term, I tell myself sternly that I will * But, fhe last few &&ks proved to be too’much of a strain on &Jr already ov&-t@$ed bodies. Note the word bodies - never do. this again. Next- term, I will work steadily arid‘ conscientiously,~ ignoring the clarion call of forbidden my mind had bc%ikgd, but since *November. The words I enter,tainments. ?burn-out” feattieed. prominently in’my mind. My theory-is.that’tiReri th$$rtfssure.getSltoo much, take ’ Perhaps, I do have it‘ in. me to become the dreaded tim6 d&have a tiup of t’ea. -If that dofrsn’t work, try a nice “keaner”. Alas, I’fear my artistic conscience would rise up . a@$ rev_olt. I am far too considerate of my felio$v students to . soft pillow and that book that’s’just ccying au’t to be read. “staff. Y&u’il find yourself g;$@ all that educatiqn for myself, _ ; . ” I, \ Failing .tQFt, join -the fmprint .. i c eating pizza ‘qnd c@pping. mushrooms o~~+~oLJ~ latest 6#@. Yiag -1 -. I ‘I- ‘.

Editorial. i bard

. c ~av&ou .noticed the change that’+ cc&e over catipus: ._ &e@$&t b&w .w&eks? Suddenly -Citt.le kn@wti corners of -- i)&&ries and qyiet nooks are full $f fraht_ic+tu&ents, aH,., ~,$ut$@&&y cram’r+g for fifial exam& ’ , 1’ a& scurrying around ~jike%tihxious L* $.’ &&$e / t<; ; ’tike myself L-r &&eO#$~~‘.t@ fi&h ihat essay, term paperor assignment <.-‘@‘:‘$hey+-i&l all term to&& on but left it fo. the last minute.. is fjowihg _ +*:‘y 1 A,student is ,nev& happy unl$ss her adrenaliire 6s sne.hurrldly-c.opies.hgr friend’s a&&gnm,ent. Pr:ofe$sors , shovld neyef werry about pla$jitirism.S@e don’? sreal other peop~~~~,~~~~utio~s.~-. F-j&t borrow th&Vi. ’ :’ ,j. ‘,

’

- _

‘Twas the night t&ore dea@ine, and all. through the room, judging by faces it looked like a’ tomb. The Feds all got hung in paste’up with care, in hopes that Dave Browman soon would be there. Oegrge in fhe pink,kerchief.and T.A, in hi cap, . ., ~ 1 ha& just s@tled-down ,for 4 two minute 9 Men in the next room there arose such a clatter Uane jumw upto see what was the matter. When what to the,wonde@g eyes of all staff, it wab just enough to rnake-‘Douglas laugh, JohA David Bongrer who was manning the typesetter, had pushed thi ti,w b&ton and the room f&d with letters. Then out of the darkroom-Anna Marie appeared, . yelling “‘where is my pizzP wth her customaT sneer, : - On.Joey, C@i e. Lindsay and Mitch i ’ . Chris and Allis0 %, Odesse “atid .Ruth. And thenbhe said as she-went back into &dark, ’ “pi? year. I’ll-play San@, j.ust for a lark? . And’ fiomrthe closet‘ pmnts appear a T-shirt for Math&w; for Carl. a beer: To William a bathtub, to Shah a ring. ---to Alex a bumblebee without a sting. . To Jacko an! Jeff Sugget pencils galore, to draw those great funnies we all adore. To Richard and Gillian a hug arid a kiss. to Nimet anything her heart might ‘wish. And to Miss Signy most Pracious ladv of all. my wishes for a new yearin which she has a ball. , To Claudio I give a standina ovation. to Hilkka a wish her columi goes into syndication. To Mike Upmalis, Bobby Butts and your motley’crew what do you think I could ever give you? ,, To the Kafieh brothers and Linda McCord too, ’ Todd Schneider and Janet Rnabaker both at Waterioo. To Dave Hemmetich. Sandy Townsend, Nosh Dinshaw and Kathy V. everything that would make all of you happy. To_ Carolyn Ellis and Carat Fletcher to qohn Tracey and even Dave Sider. And fihally to Rob, Ricardo and all of you too, ’ A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BEST WISHES FOR THIS YEAR ANEWi

_i .

Created, evolved?.’ I i To the editor: please allow me a few comments on George Elliott Clarke’s piece “Boycotting Apartheid’ (Soapbox, Nov. 16). It is well that Mr. Clarke all but apologizes for his lack of knowledge’of South Africa (or Azania as he likes to call it), because he has reason to: 1. According to Mr. Clarke the ANC is “the Black political party” of South Africa. What would he think of the truthfulness of someone calling the Liberal Party the _ White party of Canada, or the IRA the Catholic party of Northern Ireland? I am sure other (“Black”) political parties/movements/freedom fighters/terrorist groups call them what you will - like. the PAC and AZAW will not be too’ pleased to hear that they no longer exist, not even to mention the “legal” black parties inside South Africa like lnkhata (who also vehemently opposes apartheid, but do not support economic sanctions). 2. Saying that “moreover, the (ANC) supports economic sanctions” has as much meanina as claimina that the FLQ supports independence for Quebec and therefor; Quebec sh&ld be independent. in fact it may even mean less, since the ANC leaders (who’ declared’ the support) live outside South Africa and the same leaders do not hesitate to order-bombs be planted in public places with the result that black and white ai@ indescriminately killed and maimed. Talk is cheap when it is other people that will make the sacrifices. ’ 3. Mr. Clarke claims “international capital ...has not brought any improvements in the lives of the rank-and-file African majority’*. While one would hesitate to only blame the infusion of International capital into the South African economy, it certainly had some contribution to the fact that the real personal income of Blacks

in South Africa rose by220.8% between 1966 and 1980. The comparable figure for -r , Whites was only 122.1%. 4. South Africa’s new constitution does not “legaliie the’disenfranchisement of the nations 23millioE blacks’*. The politicalpositton of Blacks did not change with the ‘new constitution, so how the new constitution can legaliie a situation that (legally) existed before, is beyond me. 5. The “200 people shot..while protesting Azania’s new constitution!’ needs some clarification. Since February this year 160 people died in riot;s. Most of the riots started because of some local grievance, e.g. rent increases by the (black) town council sparked the riots referred to by Mr. Clarke. Only some of the people killed were shot, some were killed by criminal elements that used the riots as a smokescreen to settle old scores, and still others were killed (newpapers reported “hacked to death”) by some of the “protesters”. Many of those killed by police action (the police claims all of them) were shot while looting and destroying the property of black owners. please understand me correctly. I am not trying to defend apartheid (which 1 find as abominable as Mr. Clarke probably would), nor am trying to deny the fact that there are serious problems and many injustices in South Africa (as in many other parts of the world ‘that Mr. Clarke does not care to boycott). I am only asking that people be more careful with the truth and that they ascertain themselvesof the facts before making judgements, especially on such complicated and emotionally charged issues as the political situation in South Africa. Misrepresenting the facts serves no useful purpose at all. Riel Smit Computer Systems Group

Clarke doesn’t know &out ‘. j To the editor: Dear George Wliott Clark: It is only today that I have been able to read your “review” of the Wvin Jones . Quartet performance,that took place two weeks ago in Siegfried Hall. My previous ‘attempts at a complete reading had been halted by the copious tears flowing from my eyes from the laughter brought on by your squeaky, prosodic yammering that purported to be an assessment of that evening’s musical events.: ;, .-’ Do you know anything about jazz? Judging from the sophomorictwaddle you caused to be printed in the November 16,1984 issues of Imprint I very much doubt itActually, using your Wvin Jones piece as an exampl&of your abilities and insights, I don’t think you know much about ahything at all! For instance, Wvin Jones was born in Detroit on September 9,1927 - unless you exist in some other dimension, that makes him 57, not 64 as you stated. But why cloud your true failings with mere facts when your understanding of the music called jazz is so puddled and puerile that you actually had the &me&y to writit: :‘This piece was a free fall of sound, an example of improvisation (which is, merely, on-the-spot-genius) if such a thing has ever existed outside the cocaine and funkdens of NYC.” Thefirsttaskof the critic is to be discerning. A discerning ear would have told you that the majority of the evening’s pieces were too long; that no jazz musician can solo on every tune with genius; that Chip Jackson, who used to play with Chuck Mangione, had nowhere near the rhusicianship of the other three members of the quartet and should not have soloed on every tune; no,drummer,not evenMarrRoaah, solos onevery piece j in a performance. Your review abounds ,ended with “... the bass

with these brutish “observations”: loping along like a referee following

the one ballad a punch-drunk

played boxer

around the ring”. Please tell me what that has to do with the ‘Iromance” you associated with this ballad in the p vious paragraph and what any of this has to do from Alabama wi it a sax on your knees...“? Verbiage and bluster ’ with ‘,’...coming masquerading as insight is no replacement for cogenti literate criticism. Your “best” is saved for the last piece of the set. “The Dowry of the Bride” was not inspired by Jones’ Japanese wife. ‘it is, as Jones explained, a,Japanese folk melody. You appear to have been impressed by this performance; however, thirtyfiie minutes of straining on the part of the four musicians could not breathe jazz life into the poor, slim melody that is “Dowry of the Bride”. If a drummer as versatile and talented as Elvin Jones cannot make a go of a piece of-music as jazz, then it never will be jazz. In turn, piano, bass,,sax and drums plucked up the melody and tried to make something of it and for thirty-five long minutes the best each of them could do is’ repeat the tiny tune until, finally, a halt was called to the resuscitation. If you had known anything about jazz beyond the fragments one overhears on popmusic radio programs and the feeling that, hell, it’s jazz, it must be good, you might have mentioned how much Karashima sounded. like McCoy Tyner and how, out of the Coltrane bag, Pat LeBarbera fashioned his own voice that shied away from the modal sheets of sound so favoured by Coltrane for a much more precise tone and melody. But you don’t, so why quibble? Because I care about the music called jazz very deeply and cannot accept the sententious drivel that you have foisted off on your readership as jazz criticism. You have proven in this one article that you neither know nor, by printing the Janes piece, care about the music called jazz. Stick with fusion, a musical form I intuitively feel you are much more in tune with, and leave real music alone. OK? Gregg Fanar Jazz Programmer CKMS-FM

It. is important, that- IS. To the editor: Resource Persons and Staff Committee Integrated Studies Program The University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3Gl Dear friends: It has been suggested that I should write outlining my impressions of-the Integrated Studies program and outlining suggestions concerning its future. It is imporfant, in my opinion, that the program should survive. The program is unique in Canada, a most valuable if still experimental means to the broadening and deepening of cultural experience, and of meeting the special needs of exceptional students. In the mid-l 980s the program is certain to come under severe attack for two related reasons. The first is the horrifying tide of reaction. sweeping this part of the world, threatening every progressive institution and every form of social equity. The second is the scramble to cut budgets. As a time when almost everyone from Prime Minister down to the lowliest dean believes is guns rather than butter the best any liberal program can hope for is bare survival. To achieve this we should be ready to make great compromises -- not the P /

jazz

ultimate

compromise

of surrender

surkive * . \ to the forces

of death

-Masculine vs. feminine, ‘,jekder To the editoK...‘ I am writing to clear up a few misconceptions. The first is one that Carol Fletcher has. She thinks that if a guy thinks a girl looks better in a dress, he is stereotyping her. What of the girls who enjoy seeing guys dress up? The second is that of Ken Debono. He thinks that women have the time to get dressed up and wear makeup. I just don’t think so. Besldes, both guys and girls have other things to do. I agree with you when you say that it is positive for women to have some male traits such as aggressiveness and for men to be sensitive. I disagree, however, that Ken was trying to stereotype women. He was insulting guys. I believe Ken’s article, - like another one written by girls who wanted guys to be fess wish-washy and decide before a date where they want to go, was one that wa si designed to impede men’s liberation. It is not so much to make women out to be like men, but to impede the liberation of men from their stereotyped image; the cool, unemotional dominant _.

Stevie

“Wonder

i ’

but every

male. I, myself see no need for articles about wo*men’s liberation, I see more need for articles on men’s lib. Ken, The way people dress is a right they have. The right is one many people use to express themselves but not necessarily to expresq their views on what is “masculine” or “feminine” but rather to express the statement that “it doesn’t matter what I wear, I’m me.” Now I have a question to ask you, why do you think guys don’t want to marry women who act like guys? It seems to me that this is because men are stereotyped as unemotional. Who wants a “cool”, ‘*conservative”, unemotional, domineering wife? On the other hand, who wants a cool, conservative, unemotional, domineering husband? D. Kalfon 1A Math

proven

To, the editor: RLP.: Stevie Wonder = Insane Let Stevie = Stevie Wonder Stevie = Transcendental Meditation (see Note 1) Meditation = A contemplative discourse on a philosophical subject (see Note 2) Discourse = A verbal expression (speech or written) (see Note 2) Transcendental = Asserting a fundamental irrationality element in experience + minimizing importance of denying reality of sense experience. (See Note 2) Irrational = Affected by loss of usual or normal mental clarity and contrary to reason (illogical) (see Note 2) \. Since Transcendental Meditation = Transcendental + Meditation . _ And Meditation = Contemplating philosophy = Thought ’ :

and darkness,

compromise that is possible short of that. The tide of reaction will not flow forever; the time dll come when university students wili begin to believe once more that personal freedom and social ju.stice are as important as job security. When that , time comes, the Integrated Studies Program, if it is not actually dead, will blossom once more. Meanwhile it’s important to keep it alive. Many things short of ultimate disaster might happen: Enrollment might be restricted. Resources might be curtailed. Freedom to take our own time about your might be reduced. All this could happen without the program going - education under. The points beyond which you cannot compromise, I believe, are the student’s right to choose an area of study, broad or limited accordng to needs, and the right of the entire program to self-government On these two points you must make a stand. Give all the ground you must, but draw the line of no-compromise at student control. Without it the program would cease to have any true significance. I hope in these difficult times you can combine wisdom; principle and political sense in the delicate mixture necessary for survival. This is not the year to rush to the barricades. I know you have the intelligence; I hope you can find the diplomacy to go with it. Harold Holwood /

insane

And Transcendental = Irrational + denying reality = Mental Instability Therefore by transitive properties Stevie = Mental Instability + Thought = Insane Thought = Insanity = Insane Therefore, Stevie Wonder = Insane Q.E.D. / , Notes: 1) From the Psychology of Being Human, Rubin/McNeil, 3rd Edition, page 132 - 2) Definition taken from Heritage Illustrated Dictionary,Monis, International Edition D. -- Kroach -_ M. sirota :.& -

( 1

three minutesThe editor of the U.W.O. To the editor: \\‘cstcm &zettc has heard. The CREATION/EVOLUTION issue ‘How can this idea be disseminated? has been discussed No!’ not Several factors are evident!! Whe,n the. “debated” oh every campus in Canada during the last five years. Was ‘was read in letters, , analysis anything resolved? A multitude of comprehension did not occur. Every course essays have been written. Until piece of paper published by an author -provided two of rebuttal. Thepaper e now,. most books were written by mountain is still growing. I started creationists. Now ‘the evolutionists are sending out the analysis as a taped publishing. Most of these books have a negative in the title - “the fossils say commentary. When, heard, it is Nor’ \“Why the creationists are understood. The present text is the end etc. The pursuit of science is a result of a multitude of revisions. wrong!“, positive activity. Will the researcher Professor Emerson“s review indicates he understands and recognizes the succeed if he starts with the attitude a potential. discovery will NOT be made? A positive attitude is essential in al! academic The objective of the POSHTVE activity, ‘including religion. Knowledge POLICY is to establish a posiitive ( understanding of the creation/eveand understanding are expanded -by .lution or religion/science. interface -, finding better, more encompassing. theories and explanations. where negativeness has prevailed for The substantiating relationship of 12 decades. A consequence of the- POSTfIVE POLICY is biological establishing this understanding over a period of time is the demise of evolution can be understood in creationism. Scripture. Ybu must agree that is NEWl If creationists believe Scripture is The address and price for obtaining literally ture,- then the occurrence of the tape is listed below. biological evolution therein should - ‘P.S. Creation and Evolution: A Policy for Public Education dictate truth. Of course, they reject my I Positive C.G. Winder, 1984 analysis!! For evolutionists, . the ,I. Horizon Audio, R.R. #2 scientifjc evidence for evolution is suf@ciently convincing. (I have done Thorndale, Ontario, Can&a basic research in oaleontolo& - and ‘. NOM 2PO ($5.00) THERE ARE transition fo&ls!) The C.G. Winder . average open-mihded student can professor of Geology. understand the basic analysis in about University of Western Ontario ’

To the

editor: _ memory -of our computerized n-s MILLER TIME!! cmnimums! Oh let Canada,forget the Classes are over, exams are almost Africans who can’t even find’s kernel of done, and Miller time is upon us with all barley to crush between their molars. the glory of every T.V. commercial. Besides, barley in liquid form is much Mugs are filling withthe suds and the . more palatable. May Big Blue and wine glasses are j sparkling with *O’Keefe ease our guilty conscience&of fermented grapes. All signs are bed-jumping and internal babypointing to “aaa...( hiccup) busting. Crack the bottle and forget the won...wonderful Chr...Christmas meaning of Christmas: the season (burp).” remembrance ’ of -the Son of God Our Justice Minister, Roy McMurtty, coming to earth to redeem individual has ordered the breathaliier be put on man. Please though, allow just enough the loose, hpping that effective consciousness to remember the “Ho followers of the Christmas “jingle Ho” come down your chimneyash first, beers” be sniffed off the road. Then tip the brown ones back and let Christmas is the time when the the malt flow into the New Year. Forget barley and the grape must seek out the ones who are maimed and killed on every paunch (and waist) of the Great Canada’s highways during the festive White North. What a wcnderful time it . season. Just_.ti it, belch it, and barf will be to forget all the events of the past it Life is truly one long beer few months - papers, boring proffs, commercial! exams. Oh let the paralyzing potion of the post-semester period erase the Paul James ewen \ .

, ’ ’

Abort,bn issue ‘ITo the editor: If I understand Joseph de viveiros _ correctly, he is implying that if society does not have respect for the unborn, we probably won’t have it for any other life, such as the old, the mentally or physically handicapped. This is ’ a classic argument and I don’t agree with it. Now, more so than before, society, governments, the meUical profession, volunteer organizations, . individuals, and so on, are showing their concern for these groups. Studies in the field of gerontology are quickly expanding as it enables us to better understand and respond to the needs of the elderly. There is a movement toward to deinstitutionalization of the mentally

handicapped and an attempt to ‘mainstream’ them so they can live fuller lives. Communities arebecoming more accessible to the physically handicapped. Almost daily, medical advancements are made to discqver the causes and cures of diseases and mental conditions, and to develop and improve artificial organs and limbs. And, believe it‘or not, much of this is occuring in countries where abortion is r\ legal. In liaht of this, I do not feel that access to abortions has a bearing on our treatment of the elderly and handicapped. We will not cease to care for or value these people simply because women have control over their own reproductivity. Janet Ozaruk ,

, I

Chevr’on Wturns-? ‘To the editor: ’ The quality of the Imprint is deteriorating at a fast pace. In a way it reminds me of the old Chevron before its demise. All I can find now are badly written polemics,‘usually written by the same persons, week in - week out. Especially the Soapbox seems to have become the private domain of Mr. James Kafieh who is using it as (a conduit of PLO propeganda. I do not want to muzzle the Imptint, and I do

not mind reading polemics expressing opinions different to mine, but the Imprint is becoming repetitious. It is not in the intetest of Imprint to become a single issue publication and it should not evolve into conduit of propaganda or a paper where all you find is the same people writing love/hate letters to each other. Amos Lakes Arts UbraIy

’

P To the editoti I was interested to read in the Gazette that Federation Hall will oben inabout a week, albeit without liquor license. I was, however, somewhat Duzzled that it should be .intended as ‘a quiet place for students to talk or study. Why can it not be used for its ,intended p>urpose&~ /of,- ~hositing+ dancing . . f and W‘ ‘*g a

partying. Surely the lighting and sound systems can be operated Jwithout a liquor license. And alcohol is not the . only thirstquencher. Or is ’ it thought that Waterloo students are not capable of having a good time without getting pleasantly inebriated? -* - _ 15_ Argyle . r

. _--

We need your help and opinions. The possibility of establishing -‘ .j. : au infant (4 months to-2 and a half years) daycare centre for the children ,of studerits,: staff, arid. faculty df the Ur@&ity of fl _.I ‘.%erloo and- Wilfrid’ buri&. &+versity is curretily undei. : - discussion. We, would Also like to &se& the needsof.l%ople Gth older children (2 Bnd 9 half to 12 years). Please could you complete this survey for us. Even if you do not have a need for daycare at the present time, we would still like to hear from you. _ ,, FILL IN YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THE GROUP. REPLIES ARE ANONYMOUS AND CONFIDENTIAL. Name: ~ Address: -\ Phone: - Postal Code:

The uniiersiti% Infant-Toddler Daycare Groirp is made up of _ ‘ I. qncerned ,parents’ and interested ljarties working to establish a * +%or+profit co@? in&n! dtiycare &:oi .n& fie ur;iver$ities; lf you’ ‘<. ;like tQ’be invohied.inplanning cl$idca$e *r&es, piease list : s . I ,‘.tiGuid ‘; *‘Z _ .&ur ‘r$‘tie, iddress; phdne ‘n~mbe~fipn$. p&,&l code belo_w. ’ . Please return your completed stirvey to thk following places be Dec. ‘21, 1984: _ The Women’s Centie, Campus Centre, U of W . The Library, WLU c/o John Mitchell ’ Renison CojleQe Library, Renison College c/o’Jahe Mitchell’ 1

Your

We would like to thank Imprint for giving us the space for this ‘survey. Thank you for your co-operation. AH replgs are anonymous and confidential. Jane Mitchell, _ Co-ordinator, Universities Irifant~Toddler D&are Group.

quiet,corher

n academic track record which vice-presidentTom Brusztowski describes as nevg hen

Have

.I’

! -

;

-No Opinion .

No Opinion

: .

s! -

, --

Maybe

Integrated

Studies,

in failing

to blow

times

changed?!.S.

was born

out

of the concern

with overskcialization

:ommodities has crqted neglect of the process of creating new knowledge.

Economic

developme@

..-I

. <’

\ , *_

. Evenings

-Thurs. _ (describe” Walking

Fri *- ’

j Other

. .

of the past ‘decade

have intensified

the problems

which

again:

This was written abdut 1948. The examination screw has been tumid several nore times,snce. Today, I.S. is being put under the pressure of this screw, being mmined not on academic or intellectural quality, but on conformity ot the patterns )f the rest of the university, patterns which I.S. was set up to counterbalance xxause the destructive effects of that imbalance were recognized by the founders Developments over the course of this Fall have demonstrated that those fears were well founded. If I.S. is c&t of date,.our civilizatioh is out of date.‘lf I%. is out of date, the effort &II integrate, to synthesise, to create new knowledge is out of date. If I.S. is out of date; quality and the discovery of new truth has been declared obsolete by the university of Waterloo. It may be our fault. We have not blown our own horn, and now it may be too late. But rather than out of date, I.S. is for the University of Waterloo, not only a quiet comer of competance, but a drarnatic@ly successful experiment which shduld show the way andhas already blazed a trail to the kind of educational approach through which the quantitative pressure of mechanized knowledge can be accommodated to the needs of men and women and civilization - the needs of freedom of thought% - within a modem multi-versity. This is no mean feat! The f&t that most of it has been done by undergraduate students over the years makes it all the more surprising and remarkable. Yet, it has been done. I.S. is dramatically succ&ul, successful at everything except making itself understood and appreciated by an administration whosn with quality and the discovery of new truth seems to have been subordinated to cdncerns for standardizatiqn. There is no future for a‘university which is only a job-training factory. While that task can be‘accommodated here, the focus must always be .on making sense, of the vast amount of specialized knowledge which exists here. And that must ist analysis be done in human not bureaucratic terms. For that task, no other university in Canada is better equipped, because none has a working, workable and successful Program of lntegiated Stud@. This program, because of its nature and because of the nature of the students’? attracts and keeps, can be of; immerise and vital importance, an importance all out of proportion to its cost or size, to this univerjiity’s meetirig the challenge of the coming decades. St. Paul wrote that ‘IheJetter killeth, but the Spirit gives life.” The Spirit is thal within a man which motivates him to inquire, to share and discover. Because I.S respects, honours, and channels that Spirit within, it produces intellectual life fal more effectively than any ctimpartmentalized regimentation of knowledge which neglects or underplays the vital oral component. You have a priceless and unique asset here, Dr. Wright. Yes, it is an anomaly,‘a: any pearl of great worth. But it is an anomaly worthy of being treasured, nurturec and even cherished. I would encourage you to a least take a close lookand find ou what it is you’ye got here before discarding it on the garbage pile’ of obsolescence You pay find here, as many perceptive and inquiring mi!ds already have, not i vestige of the past but a unique and remarkable asset which carries bright hope fo the future.

Doug Thompson I.S‘

lnnis

“Reliance on mechanized knowledge has increasecl with the dem$nds ot -large numbers of students in thf post-war period. Henry Adams Wrote: ‘any large body of students stifles the sttident. Ns-one can’ instruct more than half a dozen students at once. The whole problem of education is one df its cost in money.’ We have been compelled . . . with the larger numbers of students .. . (to depend more heavily)on the written, mechanized traqitian and the examination system, of which Mark Pattison remarked that ‘the- , beneficial stimulus *ich examinations can give to study is in an inverse ratio to the aualitv of intellectual exertion retiuired.’ We can subscribe to his ~ &rence to ‘the,examination screy @ich has +n turned several times since, till it has become an instrument of mere torture which has made education impossible-and crushed the very desire for learning.“’

RESEARCH SURVEY 23. Would an infant-toddler daycare on or near campus h& you wib your research needs? / Yes 24. If you are a faculty member, would an infant-toddler daycare

sheet of paper. 25. If you are a member df a department which would greatly _benefit from the establishment of an infant-toddler daycare near

quiet.

Ind com&rtmentalization in @ucation. The 1968 Gordon Report which called for he creatibn of I.S. stressed the need for “integrators and synthesisers” of mowledge. Is this need now obsolete? Writing in 1948, Harold Innis, Dean of Economics at the University of Toronto, lhair?an of the Royal Society of Canada, and the man after whom lnnis College at I. of T. was named, wrote: The conditions of freedom of thought are in danger of being destroyed . by science, technology, and the mechanization of knowledge, and wit+ them, Western Civilization:” lnnis strongly identified the preservation of “conditions for freedom of thought” vith the survival of W&tern Civilization. Jliqe is not space here to present the in iepth analysis of the problem which lnnis developed. This brief summary will have o ‘do. “Mechanization”, lnnis wrote, “has emphasised complexity and confusion” ind created a “quantitative pressure” on thsscholar, “responsible for the decay of xal dialectic and conversation.” Kndwledge, he said is “growing too vast for successful use in social judgement, since life is short and symp$hies and intelle&s ire limited.” The “oral dialectic” is described by lnnis as “one mind in fiation with another nind in following up trains of ideas.” And this oral piocess “is ovetwhelmingly significant where the subject matter is human action and feeling, and it is mportant foi the discovery of new truth but of very little value in disseminating it.” The obsession in the Modem West with production, and quantifiable

To quote

16. If you could have your choice of childcare arrangements, what would you choose? / ,daycare in my home j, , out-of-home babySitter supervised family daycare \. group daycare centre .__ ‘other (describe) 17. Would you be willing to pay higher fees than you are currently paying if you felt that the daycare program provided by the , university was more convenient ,or better *an the service you+ are . now using. _No Yes . ’ 18. What hours and days do you normal, work oi attend class&? , I Mcjrnings : 1, Afternoon; .Mon. Tues. Wed: I .work shifts . Sun. >’ 20. If you were bringing your chiId(ren) with you to a childcare _ ’ program near the universities would you moit likely travel by: . Bicycle - ’ Car r Public Transit 2 1. Are ,y& a sole’support parent? t No 1Yes 22. What is your annual gross farnil) income? . Under $15,000 \ $15,000-$19;999 _A $20,000-$29,999 _ $30,000-$39,000 \ $40,000-$49,999-

error is in being

vefe very present before.

10. Who ususally cares fof your child( ren) when you go to work or school? child’s mother pr father another *relative other (describe) - a friend babysitter 11. Are you satisfied with your present childcare arrangements?’ *emely satisfied _ - somewhat satisfied ’ extremely dissatisfied . somewhat dissatisfied 12. Whbt fee d you curfently pay per child for your daycare. grrangements? $6.$10 per day $0 per,day - $l-$5 per day. $1 l-$16 per day$1%$20 per dayover $20 per-day ; . ’ 43. Are your present daycare fees subsidized by the local ’ #municipality? rYes - NO 14. Are your present daycat? I needs subsidized _ by your employer? Nb Yes d15; If a student, does a grant or loan specifically cover part of your . ’ -davcare fees? Yei

shape-The:

nisimpressio&. “Times have changed” saj& the new coordhator, Gloria Smith, when asked to explain her effoti to undermine and dismember the governing structures of I.S. vhich 15 years of intecse effort, careful finetuning and _ several Senate reviews have abouriously created.

in better

ts own horn, has become the victim of rumour, innuendo,misunderstandings and

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descrimzon of Integrated Studies as an “anomalous vestige from the past” of November 2&d, suggests that Integrated Studies has erred inbeing a of competance” ai the 1975 Senate Review put it, content to rest on

n Imprint

DAYCARE NEEDS SURVEY 1.’ Please check. / / Male Female staff member faculty member . . . . . . 2, Are you a student faculty member graduate “spouse of’ member of a nearby ? industry ,’ A. 1 think ‘that an infant-toddler daycare is needed at or near the ! universities. \ Nd . Yes 5. I think&e-school daycare is needed at or hear the universities. Yes No 6. At this time do you have any children living at home with you or are you/your spouse pregnant? Yes ’ NO .. 7. How rqany children do you have in the following age j caegories? 18 months-2 and a half y?ars 0- 18 months 6-12 years ~ over 12 years I 2 and a half to 6 years------8. Do you have a need for childcare now or will yqu have a need for childcare at spme point in th’e future? ’ Yes No ’ 9. ‘Approximately when would you have a need for childcare? \ Right away 4 months to 1 year from now ~ f Indefinite ! Never 1 to 2 years from now If you are a student, graduate student or faculty member presently conducting r&search in the child related area, please t,um to the, Resedrch Suwey. Thank’you. - . If you currentljl have children aged O-l 2 years, please continue. If not, please drop off survey before December 21: Thapk you for . your time.

To thk editor: An open letter to Dr. Wight Dear Dr. Wlight . _

,&i&f To&eediit:

~rgues;::~~~: harm- / p*ificipfe *,- L .: 1L (. j ..

I+

(1) An Argumentum ad Absurdum

This. letter is a r&r& to Judith Johnson and Kate K&g. In their letter they . make the foltowing claims against ,me: 1) ‘Ihat homosexuality is not a psychosexuaLdisorder and 2) That the,fiaq Principle is an arbitra~one:Theythen’go on to argue that 3) the onus of proof is on me to prove homosexuality is harmful to society ,and 4) ethics are subjective and relative to the socketyinquestion and finally 5) that using the Harrn RindpIe, they believe they can construct an argument against me. All these claims if examined car&&y are false except p&haps 1.). twill now give reasons for my disagreement 1) it seems, is of prima l&ic importance. This claim thongh, at present, is still under dispute. Will this affect my argument if homosexuali.ty is not a psycho-sermal disorder? No!.AlI I have to illustrate is that the majority believe it to be abnormal. This is itself, a satisfaction-of the first constraint of my argument lf Ms, Krug and Ms. Johnson feel that homosexuality isa “natural variation”, (whatever that means), all the more power to them, but it won’t effect the majority’s decision. ’ 2) The I I unn i’ri~~ciplc is far from arbitrary, lt is the strongest argument known to philosophers today for censorship in a free society. It i.s the basis for legal slander, libel, incitement to cause, and malicious intent, not to mention a myriad of others such as general IIIC’IIS rcu. lt would appear that you two young ladies would place our entire justice system into.disrepu@ The law in this case is on my side and this >.brings us to (3).

If subjectivism were true, then this would result in extreme. paradoxes to the rational person. One can argue for moral approval of extremely evil acts such as the , German people’s support of Hitler’s holocast or the. use of galley slaves by the Roman people. These crimes are intrinsically evil to any individual I would hope. Psychologistsknowthat abnormal behaviour can .occur on masse. (Note this could I be a flaw in majoritarian socieities bacause the majority makes the rule). y (2) Ethiial Relativism is SelfContradictory TO argue consistently for relativism is impossible. It has to terminate in objectivism. An act becomes immoral and moral’ at the same time. This seems t. rather odd! (see Plato’s Theaetetus)

3) The onus of proof is not on me, butrather the initiation of action is. This I hope I. have already achieved with my letter to the student body. For legal precedent on. sexual morality, I would refer you to Doe v. Commonwealth’s Attorney For City of Richmond, 1976. In this case two anonymous homosexuals attempted to have laws against sodomy declared unconstitutional. They failed. The court held, (the Supreme Court), that these laws were int x-a virus and hence v&d. There are other supporting cases atso but ] do not have the space .oc time to go into them here. It would appear then that the onus is on you to prove to me that homosexuality should be dtlegislated. 4) As a philosopher, and’ a student of higher ‘ethical theory, (a branch of phitosophy), one thing I do rcjcct js the fact that ethics are “culturally defined”. This position is known as ETHICAL Subjectivism or Relativism. Such a position . lends itself open to four arguments. Consider then that;

(3) Ethics Reduced to A Statistical Count ’

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The moral person is identified as the person that is in agreement with the multitude: If people favour heterosexuality, then homosexuality is immoral. The converse hokis. This is extremely odd! Note This is not my view. My view ,bases , itself on a political position, not just a’ moral one, and certainly not this one! (See Mill, On Liberty). .

(4) kebtivism as an Inconsistent Ethic If subjectivism were true then it would be impossible for two person5 to contradict each other or even argue about moral issues. Both persons are always j morally right if they are expressing their true opinions, then two disparate points that are contrary are right. In short, nothing is morally wrong. (see GE. Moore

Ethics 100-l 05) ’ I think then that perhaps our two leading ladiesshould delveinto ethical theory a lie deeper than they already have, if they wish to make su;ch contravenial statements. Would you two re(albthrow out ‘objective ethics’ so quickly? What about non-cognative ethics? 5) You last statement is blatently false. Surely you.tuio do not understand the Harm Principle.One needs the majority vote to move on to the test of harm. In the cases of “Homophobia” you certainly will not have this. response, and your poorly thought out letter in general. Ma~~~~ngton,

So ends

your

ridiculous

(3wst .makes. jacket , worthp’ buying To the editor:

The new color seems to be black so i-asked Mr. Wilson, why black? Out of his I am glad to see that someone else has noticed this issue about the University mouth came “Black is in!‘:. This guy sounds like a fashion puppet. Well Mr. Wilson why don’t you sell matching black leather pants with a crest on the ass and don’t jackets, (referring to last weeks article) but I think the real issue is being overlooked. forget to put studs on the jackets! Oh! i’m sure by now some People are saying The real issue here is the quality and spirit involved in the Waterloo jackets being “Well I want a black jacket” Sorry folks, that’s not the point of having a university sold. I agree, there should be strict control over the use of the crest, that makes the ’ jacket worth buying, something worth showi,ng off, but ,who wants to buy a jacket The school color is gold! All the jackets made in the past were go/d. The crest, that is too expensive, made with poor quality cardboard leather, with the wrong varsity o&its, banners etc. are gold. I’m not saying I like gold over black, I already I have a black jacket, they’re everywhere. Making a black leather University. acket color that doesn’t even fit! would be putting it on the same level as motorcycle jackets and other s milar Now that I’m in a position to buy a school jacket, I did some looking’around and i . jackets, cheap! Gold is the Universtiy colour, no question. found that none of the jackets fit me. The shoulders were ok but that’s all. The The next question is, what is the problem and its solution!? The problem is that bottom was loose and the rest of the jacket made me look like a slob or 200 lbs. over weight around the belly. Not too warm on a cold or windy day! Some of my students are having jackets made elsewhere. Why, because we’re not all stupid! classmates had bought their jacketsat Export Leather in T.0, The jackets are Bar-goons can be found elsewhere. This is the Fed store’s fault. The solution, find another distributor! Who?, maybe Export Leather and if we deal in quantity it might custom made with removable winter lining and a choice of zipper, snapsor both. even be cheaper! Simple dght, yes! Well Mr. Wilson I’ve offered a solution and if you After realizing the chance for a rest b&goon, I tried to see if I could have one want, you could even give up your job to someone more realistic and unbiased. If made’in T.O. only to discover no crest would be available, Fed stores wouldn’t sell does all of your business then maybe you should consider a me one. Not too pleas&about the situation I proceeded to talk to the person in \ your distributor charge Mr. Wilson, vice prez. Well I’m glad I!waited a week submit this letter _ complete change. It’s called capitalism, use it!!! You did say selling thejacketswere non-profit! Are you guys getting free donations? .I because now I can laugh at the political and intellectual stupidity of the c;lowns in _ Now that I have pointed out that the UW leather jackets have been degraded and charge of our Federation. (regarding their comments in last week’s article and bastardized I’m going to give my plan of action. If no proper action is done by my other incidents) I told Mr. Wilson the story that I had alreadyhad a jacket :made in the traditional . next return. to campus I will get some people together and see if the @v$rsjty will allowme and others to put a crest on a traditional University jacket. After dl the crest “gold” color and that f wanted.a crest Needless to repeathe moe or less said bad sucker”. He simply didn’t care and couldn’t be botheled. He could.of at least is’uder the universities supervision, they have control. Would YOU rather see a asked to see.thefjacket and try to do something. I asked if he would consider having . ghostbuster badge on Waterloo jacket5 because politics are so warped that the store sew a crest on it if it met the guidelines. No way! This was getting common sense doesn’t play a role in decision making or a real crest on a real Waterloo University jacket! ridiculous. I asked him what the whole point ,of this new policy was he replied “to ’ Don’t forget Mr. Atlison and Mr. Wilson, the student body put you there to serve control the use of the crest and to,create a more standard approved school jacket”. us and we can removeyou if you don’t start putting our needs first instead of trying Well I must give you credit guys,-you two (Tom G-Jeff) really know how to put your to put your names in the history books. And I will finish this. letter by saying what feet in your mouths. I also will say, I think the University has neglected the whole some friend said to me. +“lf your going to do a job, do. it right or don’t do it at ally’ issue letting the Fed store change from seliing only gold jackets (the right and only ‘\ Guy Bonneau / color) to blue (not even a University color!) to black. This shows lack of pride and ‘28 Engeneric responsibility to the university image. :-

Kunert thanks: Knight’, o the editors 1: William Knight Paul Kunert and I would like to thank vou for the article that appeared in the ktst nprint. We hope that it might increase public awareness of the problem we’re aving at our centre with unplanned pregnancy and unprotected intercourse. I rould like to correct you however on one Point. I believe that the Health Services. lotline is a great idea not because “people$eel freer to approach a doctor and are lore comfortable seeing a doctor” but rather because as it is now, people DO NOT nl confident about speaking to their physician about the choice of contraceptive’ methods of sexuality. By offering the telephone service at Health Services,hopefully lere will be a change in attitude towards them ie. students will more often consult rith them before the fact than after. As for our senrices, because it is peer counselling, students do feel at,ease peaking to us about sexuality andscontraception. They appreciate the knowledge, le tact, and the nonjudgemental-way in which we handle each person that walks nrough our door. , .

kmiiie! Lavoie ‘au1Kunert coordinators. of Birth

.< _ Control

Centre

‘*too

We are / I not -$zrfect beings . ” ’/ To the editor.

w Re: Sex without love is a ie; Nov. 16 ” “lt is not good for the man to be alone.“‘Those words from Genesis 2;18 can-be interpreted in any one of an infinitismal way. Our experiences while implementing this directive is of our own control, with the consequences being of our own naivety, or inadequacy to appreciate it5 implications. Can we not look upon our actiops in a rational manner, without having to look upon any “bad experience” in a high-minded Philosophical fashion? We are not perfect beings. We have grave deficiencies in analyzing any given situation due to our inability to know everything. Must we cloud our biological urges with miscontrued conceptions? An emphatic Nd is one which is yielded by those who are able to clearly separate _ the physical from the metaphysical. Ideas of “good and evil” pertain to thespiritual world, one whose existence 1 do not refute because I acquiesce the presence of a Supreme Being. Our physical nature however makes demands upon us, whether we entertain them or not One of those demands happens to be our bbido, our need for sexualrelease. These urges may be sublimated into a more productive force, or

they may be gratified. 4 Behaviourist AH. Maslow defined human needs into fivk categories, with all previous having to be fulfilled before achieving the highest stage of selfactuatization. The first of this egocentric+quintuple is that encompassing basic physiological needs; more sp@fica\Hy: air, food, and sex The first is,involuntarily supplied; the second mustbe provided; but we are at a hypocritical standstill when faced with the possible fulfilment of our sexual desires. Inhibited sexual urges are the cause of so-called Fredudian archetypes. We,physically may long for erotic relationships, yet public opinion is against us, denying us our primal need. Religion, moralists, and the “nice guys” prevent us from fulty opening up to ourselves. Euphemisms such as ‘/casual relationship”, “affair”, and “fling” have been coined in order to lessen their social derogation, yet we support multi-million dollar industries whose sole concern is with ar9using us sensually: movies, magazines, and a vast Pool of erotica. We perpetually bring in this vague concept of iove, not bothering to take the time to examine the two, to realize that they are on two immutable plane5 of existence. One can exist without the other.

Andrew

Bomyi 1

/ To $he editor:

l-faven’t you ever heard of a “one-night stand’. It entails two consenting adults engaged in mutual gratication. There is no love i,mplied directly or indirectly, except in another one of those euphemisms, “making love”. The two involved are not demonstrating any commitment for each other, only the desire for one another’s physical presence; They both know what is going on and they both have only one purpose in having sex: that being for the sake of it It is only when a couple biings in anti-physical concepts such as love and‘commitment that there is any hurt involved. If you don’t realize the purpose to what you are doing, and to what it may bring about, then don’t do it if you don’t know what may be on your partner’s mind as to the relevance of sex in your relationship, then you can expect to get hurt when it turns out that it didn’t “mean the same thing” for him/her. Are we not just using “love” or “commitment’ as an escuse to let loose our most erotic fantasies. Confusing this release of sexual urges with real love is bound to bring about distance in even the closest of couples. Couples which realize the true function of sex do not provoke needless complications. What makes it so wrong to agree with another person tdhave sex? As long as all the implications are realized, there can be no misgivings afterwards. Love is not necessary for sex. S-ex is merely the uniting of the .male and female bodies for the purposes of mutual gratification and for reproduction in those couples who desire children from their relationship. Sex can unitetwo people of any age, physical size, or mentality; it is an interfacing between people. This shows our unity as-htiman beings, the ability to beable to unite with any other member of the opposite sex It demonstrates our pettiness in any minor squabble, when we are able to let down our inhibitions to reveal our inherent compatibility. Our individual tiohesiveness is marred by confusing thoughts designed to make usappreciate sex more, when all it really achieves is instiiling us with a guilty conscience or a feeling. or remorse or regret. A converse issue is that sex is not necessary for loveHow can we be so hypocritical as to say ‘that sex is not needed to show love, yet that love is needed for sex, when the two are inequatable. The only thing necessary for sex is a proper understanding of its role in our psycho-physical existence. ’ Sex has its place in ordinary living and so does love, but let us never degrade the two by misconceiving the basis of their existence.

..*-rf

made that vow, for I would not have. l,earnt as much as I did if I had elected to , confine myself strictly to a life of academic studies. Some of the areas that I ,was Having recently entered to world~of 9 to 5, I have sat my& back and pondered involved in, which left fond memories, were, writing articles for thebnprint anti ESS what I gained during the years as’a student at the University of Waterloo. Let me first News; also, working for Environmental Studies Society and the ManEnvironment state that I was enrolled .,in the faculty of Environmental Studies as a Man,. I *Student Association, and performing in coffee houses. Environment student, yet my present occupation is that of a young budding One place that I met a lot of good people was at the Campus Centre. This pIace capitalist’ in the manufacturing ,5ect >r of our economy. became a home away from home. It is true that I spent an extremely vast amount of W% that said, let me begin my pondering; I guess one of the things that will stay time there (more thanmost people, just ask the turnkeys!).Toyou patient and kind in my ,mind is that, just about every race, nationality, religion, political party and turnkey5 thank5 for\ being the type of people that you were/are and for the many sexual group was represented at Waterloo and ‘Chat all of these groups lived and laughs, smiles and assistance which you gave free of charge: .. learned -in a peg?eful, and harmonious state. Thinke &out it, the University of The purpose of this letter was not only to encourage people& become involved Waterloo is literally a- mini earth with people of all walks of life learning and enjoying * in university life (other than academic), but also to thank all of the people at U of W each others existence. \ (even those in Needless Hall,especial!y Pauline in Student Awards!) for sharing with When I entered University, I vowed that 1 would get involved with student me your lives and making my existence that much happier and knowledgeable._ J. pornson government and I would also expose myself to as much as possible: Thank God. . I ’ Jeffrey _. . , .II _ . _’ _ ; , _ \ j .

Soapbox mymbers

is II new feature; to espress their

intended opinions..

as 11forum I

for individtihl

Wai IS Peace Freedom is Slavery. . ‘-’ ’ Ignorance is Spngth *

t&print

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by Gord Durnin _ /I This week mark5 the beginning of December, the last months of this * Orwellian year 1984. Last week was the last of classes and this week the at-u&y begin5 in earner&Thousands willwrite milions of words, ideas shot over synaptic gaps in cognitive processes which intercourse with muscle, pen and paper. It is a thing which has&;-till odcur(red)@ng)throughout intellectual history; It is a thing 50 important that it is, Indeed, theessene of importance. No one need be reminded that without ideas we would have no-experience and we could therefore, not be considered alive in the same sense as we are today, And yet, we do need to be reminded occasionally about the imperfection of the way ‘in which ideas are communi&ated, for-it may be that our life tomorrow &II be of more or less quality as aresult of ‘our communication. ’ A man once said that he who has the gold makes the rules (he orobablv had lo& of gold himself). And all the while, the rest of the men with gold wete laughing. Gold and the word gold became a symbol for power - more a than a symbol for a rare metal. It has been a long road of perversions .&Cc Zthen; words twisting concepts in the minds of the ignorant, sadly for the Same base desires-How manv wars fouqht in the r&me of the man who said “put away your sword’. 5 How’ many victims of the “fittest” who survived? How many enslaved by the revolutions of liberation? How manv supressed by the- chains of- freedom . . . capitalism, communism, democracy, socialism, right wing, left wing, guerilla, freedom fighter. peace-maker missles, friend .>. enemv? Never before have words h&i so much power .,. and never before have so few been really listening to what thk words are saying. It is a process of “killing us softly” (concept by Jean Kilboume; specialist. in media manipulation) . .. with our iaeas . .. our own words. How does one express the wrong of hungry people in a world that has the capabilitv of feeding itself? 00~we point&r fingers and say, “Capitalist!” and thenget labelled a “Communist!” OT “Radical!“? How does one express. the immediate danger of expensive (in terms of time, energy and resources) missiles‘ sitting in launchers, poised to destroy existence itself in one fell swoop on an index finger and code book? Do we look up from the floor --OF down from out thrones and say “lmperialistrhniac!’ and’ then get labelled ‘Liberal! Idealistic! Naive!“? How does oneexpressthe idea that it is lifestyle - excess, luxury, status, waste - ,that is a large source(maybe the source) of the hungry and of the missiles? Do we stand behind pulpit5 nd clutch crosses, threatening heaven and-hell, saying “Greedy! Ath ‘St! Selfish? and then get labelled “Self-righteous! Religious! Hypocrite!“? i e meaning is lost. The necessity, the essence of the concept, the rightnesb, the truth, becomes hidden by the very words which are its symbol. > So who is to blame? Certainly we all are , some perhaps more than others, but certainly all by tacit compliance. Time is a formidable foe, as are the mass of mankind and the few who occasionally havechance to control it It is indeed a process of killing us softly because the one mean5 of fighting ,back - the swaying of the will through ideas - is being undermined with language, our one means of communication. Caution be to those who put notions into blank minds - you teachers of mankind - , for you source of the cancer in idea5 Caution be to those whose minds are susceptible to suggestion - you student5 of mankind -, for you become the vehicle which , spreads that cancer. Caution be to usall. ltis a process of killing us softly by separating our minds . .. for untied we stand, divided .. . 1

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Dear Scatty E2-Rm 202. Please excuse the messages that were being’ left at your door because they were intended for someone entirely different. I hope I didn’t make your first term at university unpleasant or nerve racking. But I have now located the address of the real man...EliRm 304. So, prepare your transporter room Scatty, I’m ready for beaming up: Lovs your favorite N2 woman,XG I want to meet other gay young males into fun and good times. No fats, ferns, dopers or bar-types please. Sincere only. Doug 742981 6. Daniel Wevrick: n! means ‘many’. Lots of people in C.S. don’t want to take many Algebra and Calculus courses. Sandra Rhodes: This is it, the last one! Not much to say, it’s been real. See you, bye! Don’t be frightened, *it’s only - L.S. esq. Daniel Wevrick: “All mathematicians @I easily become good at; CS” - nice statement, now prove r . it. Daniel Wevrickr Appricants to Math ih Fall 82 were not told of any admissions procedure until we iririved on campus. Andrew, Bemuht, Jennifer

Wer lmmer Strebend Sich Den Konnen Wir Erlosen. \

To the people on West A and B. Many thanks for the beer and cake, it was the best birthday partv ever. You’re a great bunch of people. Shaggy/Skyler \

Fluffy and Sierge, Excuse me? We miss our Se&wee! What would you want with a squirrel’s leg anyway? Gotta love those. gerbil snatchers! Lost: A kitten with white tummy and no shoulders. Answers to the &me o&John M. My‘kitten isn’t too bright but I love him very much. Ple&e return ‘him to his master.‘. John.

Quote for the day: “I can’t say I’ve loved you all. But I’ve loved as many of you as I could!” ,Haqkeye Pierce. ,

.Butch E Saggy Buns: This is your term: Hi, it’s us again, at +%I. We really like you, Sam. & Christopher will really miss you, pancake c bowling bceakfasts without a date,! toothpaste on glasses, sharing TIP,, KA. 6 K.D.. stolen flashing lights (it stopped oh no!), Scary Hallowe’en m&sages, getting locked out. Like +uh, you know.’ Love F.A.F., Mel, Passion and your S.S.

To dose R. from.the guy in Micro 240, and ‘Physics Ill; Are you flashing eyes at me? I like! Please give a better hint though. Occasionally Shy

Rumour .has it that J.E.S. is running for “man” of the year, but we all know that “he is not half the man he used to be.” Good Luck Jim, Love (LB)2 I am starting a study group in the Winter term to get some answers. If you are interested please write me at, ” Who‘The Hell Is This Theodore Guy Anyway?’ c/o Aesthetix Consulting, Ottawa, Ontario. My nam_e is Coop. Dan! free!

Don’t Where

pay the ransom are you?? Monkey

Kim. Baby! Happy 21st Today will be full of wonderful. suprises, . tonight . . .. .The Cougar.

Birthday! wild and and

Val 7 Merry Christmas Happy New Year. Bob

All my friends at Christmas: Count your blessings and welcome in the New Year with hope and cheer. Buon Natale, Joyeux Noel, Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas.

Save the Bugbiatter? Hey! We sent money and S.A.S.E., but got no %*Q3~%!’ newsletter! We knowwhere you live, so cough up or be vaporized. -Some really nasty Vogons

To HW E Roomie, CY’s study lamp -cooking, gymnastics on the bed, care -packages. What &. term! Thanks for listening. Luy the crisis centre. Wanted: A Don for a certain floor in East Quad, V2. Present position has been vacated. Requirements: be present 2 hours a day (max. we’& not used to more). Be* prepared to associate with floor residents. Fringe benefits include visits from ’ snotty numerous wenches. Signed, Pissed Off

A.M.;You’ve made it all worth while - even the long hours of toiling for those few cherished moments~h what bliss!? How I long for 1985,...and the many hours in the’ bathtubs! Looking forward to it. Passionately, yours, N. .

Y,ou 1 . 2 8 -

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9 C’hoow from 6 to 8 pro6fJ packages a‘vailable t’htrt~,;lraphed in our stud (. 01)11t & hoods supplied . l

thiwr

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Hello A;B.M.: You thanked last week, but who everyone thanked you for working so hard? You did a good job buddy. Well it seems we’ve tailored ourselves for your sake and depite the wear and tear, hey it’s much the same we’re still speaking to each other and caring when time (and your mood? - oops!) permits. Have a relaxing Christmas. If you decide c the real thing (although it talks) is better than plastic, phone for an. ht : - SO., fun, or a water-fi whichever your little heart % esires. *’ Catch ya. K.L.C. Hot Chic% Always a pleasure to cook for such lovely ladies (not the kind of cooking I’d hoped for...) But . ‘Almond’ indeed! Remember . Munchl.an, you could still be ‘Kathy’s friend’. Then there’s ‘Halibut’ (Ali-butt. ‘Get it? After 4 months in Toronto yau will.) The rest a;e coming - like a bad disease. SLIGHTLY! Thanks for the note, anyways. A1monda.k.a. Domestic Man. .

Wat&Oo Town Square -Stanley Park Mali 1 : Fairview Park Mall . 5. . -

. “The

Sooter

886-174-O 8$Wi20 894-1060~.

J.C.: It’s been a hard term, but-it’s Keep studying. almost . over. . Lobster (in Halifax: GEC. .

the Better” -

Here’s a sto& ‘bout Brucey Buck - Poor CS maior. barefv I\eDt his . luck. Then today he was chugging down. some brew, And all that was b i left was a de$d Bucky-roo! Happy , Buck-day! The Buckettes. P.S. Holiday rematch?!

’ %raduate ‘Fellowship& . / - 7 David J. &ieli Graduate Fellowship $8,900 . r l John W. O’Brkn Graduate - ‘Fellowship and ’ - ’ Concordia Ijniversitjc’ Graduate: Fellowships , Master’s level $6,500 ” . Doctoral level $7,500 . l Alcan ooctoral Fellowship in Commerce sod Administraiion ’ : $10,000 ’ Application deadline: February 1,’ 1955 . Announcement of winners: April 1,1985 Commencement of tenure: -I September 1985 br January 1’986, ’ For &ta?ils and application forms, con tact, the Graduate A wards Officer, S202, eraduate Studies .O$e t Tel:: (514) 879L731.7 -

’

got? tasty Dee n ,. you’ve’ mushroom& Beth: keep to the single beds; Susan, have/another magnum; Lynne, power to the dimple!; Zarine, next time, you pkay with my keys: GarBear.

Typing: Essays, \;heses., engineering/group projects, typed accurately and quickly. Have Math/Greek symbols. Lakeshore - Sunnydale area. Call Joan: 8843937 25 years Experience: 75c doublespaced page: Westmount area: Call 743-3342.

= Word Processing! fast, dependable &&ice $1 per doublespaced page. Draft copy provided. Near Seagram Stadium. May book ahead. Phone 885-l 353

I I

Wanted: One male roommate for apartment in Toionto - on Yonge north of Lawrence, close to shopping, partly furnished. Rent _ $225 per month. Call after six weekdays. 537-1089 ’ _

Apartment in Toronto for Jan-Apr il work term. 2 or 3 bedroorr Preferably near IBM Lab . ant i subway. Call Ann Marie-8849471 3 or Jennifer ,885-0915

-. Philip St. s ummer - ‘85 townhouse, 1 bedroom available, washer/dryer, parking, etc. Call for ~;~!&eatinett,e or Nathalene

Roommate needed for furnished 4wo-bedroomapartment in: Toronto. Located. in Yonge Eglinton area. Rent in area of $275. Call Judy after 6 p.m. (416) 48701 03 ,

Lost- Black

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Typing Plus, Compuscribe Word Processing. Efficient reliable service for your resumes, work teports, papers, etc. Advantages ‘include computer spelli-hg ohecks, second drafts, perfect final copy, multiple originals. Our LASER printer guarantees best quality ,in town at reasonable prices. Call 743-2269 for details.

Help Wanted: Officer cadet(s) tc I work with air cadet squadron ir I tistowel. Mileage. paid. Call 291’ 1287 or write Box 1 ;.&istowel , Ontario, N4W 3H2

Housing avaiiable in Toronto - If you’re looking for a 3 bedroom house for the Jan-April work-term, complete with a garage, room for 2 cars, room for 4 people, washer & dryer and only a 7 minute walk from the subway, located in the beautiful High Park area, then call us for more details anytime. l-41 6I 7674949

Typing. $1 .OO/pagk IBM Selectric, carbon ribbon; grammar/spelling _ corrections’; good quality bond proofreading provided; paper included; symbol/italics available included; symbol italics available; work term reports., theses, essays. Personalized service. 5795513 evenings. Downtown Kitchener ,location.

Hey! Mot, Throb: Despite what people have been’ saying, being your roommate hasn’t been that bad. You had to put up with me .as ‘well: _

SharedDuplex - Toronto. 2 bdrm available in 4 bdry duplex near Avenue Roar’ & -DuPont (downtown) ’ \!&oker, no pets, prefer GQal, responsible persons. r,% dtlable Jan. 1, $270 + or $295 t. Call 576-2086 or 1416. 927-7 176;

Dial-A-Secretary: Typing; Word Processing; Manuscripts; Theses. Student Rates. Dial: 746-6910

/- Give Christmas to son&one who , b might miss it. A needy family will appreciate your gifts ‘of food and toys more than you could ever imagine. Please leave your canned I food donation (for the House oi Friendship), and your to) I ._ donations for needy children in the big turnkey Merry Christmas gifl t box beside the turnkey desk.

Urgent! pa&&ger& ridereedec for Christmas trip to Saskatchewar Alberta, or any place along the way Return trip or one way. Call’ l-822 I

To Share, January to April. 2 bedroom apt., half furnished, all utilities included. Interior parking available. Located on WestmountVictoria. Price negotiable. Contact 743-7659 \

Quality Word Processing and/or typing of resumes, essays, theses, Multiple _ ,originals. Fast; etc. accurate service. Delivery ._ arranged. Diane, 576-1284

< I

Stay tuned for the return of post Stats/Algebra pinball and video party in S85. Brought to you by/ Bum, Vermin, and Gutterscum. .PS, Vermin’s dangerous when he drinks A last week he kicked in the ’ . bathroom door! ’ ,

C* Jp . Students: Commencing Jan. lst, excellent location downtown Kitchener, on bus lines - from $30.00 weekly Call 9:30500 p.m. 743-7799

Professional typist for U of W students. Engineering symbols. Reasonable ‘rates, will pick-up G deliver to campus. Mrs. Lynda Hull 579-0943

Shari - What can I say? Thanks for all your help. By the way, did I tell you.....?

binder in 3rd floor fi G C. Contains notes for Stat 23’ and Math -234A. If: found please phone 884.7397. _

Quiet, non-smoking, roommate wanted, Jan-April or longer to -share 3 br.. apt. with 2 female students. Luxury building, near Sunnydale, $175/mo. 886-2189 < ~, 1985: 4 bedroom my - Sept. townhouse available in SUNNYDALE!! Near anything you’d ever need. Lease available! Contact Eric or Stephen at 886-7082

,6’ brown plafd pull-out couct great condition, ideal for bachelc apt. $150.00 Call Dan .742-7128

2 rooms furnished Call 886-6505

Phone

WP Medical Transcription Service. Word Processing. Essays. Reports. Resumes. Letters. Daily 9-9, Thursday 9-6. Ask for student rates. Patricia 74570366

Attention drips! Some jokes are dangerous, not funny. Grow UP!’ And remember: Civilis gets around.

Good luck on exams anda Merry Xmas to all who read this but especially Bonnie, Sherri, ,John, Rob, Steve, Paul and Rudy.

in my home.

MAGGIE Can Type It! ’ . - Essays, Theses & Letters $1 .OO per page -. ’ - Resumes $5.00 - “FREE’ Pickup & Delivery - Phone 743-l 976

Coop Students:. I am taking a moving truck to the Kingston/ ‘Ottawa region on Dec. 14. I will move furniture for 3 to 5 people. Phone 7464808. Dave. ’

SC$OTER S?iJDlO

1 will do typing no. 578-7306

&perienced typist will do fast accurate work Reasonable rates. IBM Selectric. Close to Sunnydale. Lakeshore$Village. Call 885-1863

Bag-odirbYo&e more fun than a barrel of calfs liver pate. Joyeux Noel from the wild wench of the west.

To Pa&A&@: You’re a ham. Glad you enjoy. your music. Talented man. A secret fan. P.S. You’re cute.

Get:@X10. 5x7 2X3

Jan - Aug. Sunnydale. Anytime.

For Sale: One marvellous machine ‘81. camaro. 228. black w/gold trim,, Montreal plates. %uaranteed sex on the first date 2 69c Call 555-9245. Askgfor Uncle Todd.

Downtown Toronto apartment to share. Female non-smoker preferred. Five minutes from subway, three minutes from U ofT campus. Fully furnished. Pool, sauna, tennis court. $200.00 per month. Available January 1,1985. (416) 924-2352

4 Firestone whitewall radial tires, 155-l 3 inch ,size. Will fit most small ’ foreign and domes+ cars. $100. Phone 885iip774 .

Birthday party for ‘Halibut at 757 Victoria Park, Apt. 904 sometime in January. Featuring skinny dipping in the whirlpool. Details to follow. Bruce: Thanks for the Amerello. Afways a pleasure to have ya. Good luck in 48. Everyone at 73 Hickory.

Rooms for Rent New Beechwood’ area home. 20 min. walk Jan-April, _ $1\30/mo, MayAug $11 O/ma. 886. 9366

Sing!e Bed, wooden desk, 19” X , 47” X 27” high, 3 drawer dresser, metal desk 31” X 62” X 30” high, kitchen table w/2 chairs. 886-7772

Why doesn’t anybody like me? I’m esoteric, I watch television all day, and I know everythings. This really kills me..Murrray

Notice tq all CSl16 Students: The tutors of this course hereby wish you luck on the 17th and hope you have a Merry Xmas. It’s been a slice. Gordon & Norman

and

Skis for sale: A brand new pair of down hill skis (Spalding) with ’ bindings and poles. Call ext. 2909 or (5-7) at 8850624

W.C.R.I.:-Thanks for all the great memories, South and North. You special people have always’made me feel at. home. Love from the perpetual meal-planner.

/ I TORONTO: Large 3 bdr?m condo j available for Jan-Apr 85. Partly furnished, washer-drver. incl. full kiEchen, very clean. &bus route. : 10 min walk to subway. Lots of storage space. Or& $7tiQ/month. C’all 621-l 852 evenings or weekends. l_

_ .Summer int Sunnydalel Room for . two. females in one -of the nicer , townhouses. Call now 8844,928. 8 I’ 1 *. 1..) ’

2 bedroom apartment flat. Available spring ‘85. Completely furnished, very attractive, next door to Waterloo Town Square. Rent: $350 for two persons, $300 for one. Call GE. Clarke at UW ext. 2332 for details. Summer term ‘85 Cheap. Luxury housing - 6 singles in all-. student house. Console T.V.stereo, parfelling throughout, broadloom, partly furnished, very negotiable. 886-0338 , 1 Share Luxury House 20 min. by bus to campus, short walk to Market Square. Gourmet k%chen, I wahser, dryer etc. Quiet G , comfortable. Furnished bedmom $250 month, unfurnished $225 includes utilities, parking. No lease. -:Available Dec. 1 st Jane 579-5513

Dear Jennifer:. You left something out at 901 Erb last Friday night. Call Carl at 88-7294 or 884048 or ext. 2332,233l; or 2102.