1985-86_v08,n23_Imprint by Editor Imprint

Dimprint,

Dec.

6, 1985

(Warning:

Not

to be taken

Robber finds

more ways to cash in , \ by Geopol’ “Waterloo’s funding problems are over!” cried an elated Jake Robber, U W Chief Economist, at last Monday’s press conference. “And not at the expense of students!” According to Robber, the University of Waterloo has just concluded a series of lucrative deals with a number of the country’s largest commercial corporations allowing them to conduct widespread advertising on campus. In addition, Robber said, certain commercial ventures will be allowed to locate on campus. These deals come at the end of months of intensive bargaining with such firms as WacDonalds, Bhoots, and IBM, conducted in private and without student participation in the administration’s / Needless Hall offices, Dimprint has learned. “The university is going to make a fortune on these deals,” Robber explained. “With every billboard located on campus, and every hamburger or six-pack of condoms sold on campus, the university will receive an annual percentage of the revenue.” “In the 1986-87 fiscal year alone,” Robber continued, “We expect to net over $50 million from this venture. This additional funding will be put towards constructing new computing and. research facilities here on campus. Any money left over will *be used to upgrade our existing computer facilities and ‘to improve student accessibility.” I The plan, outlined in a 164-page docum-ent that Robber passed out at the press conference, is to totally bypass all provincial 1 .government rules and regulations and allow 23 major Canadian retailing firms to erect advertising billboards, posters, and booths at 729 different locations on campus. As well, WacDonald’s and Bhoots will both be allowed to open retailing outlets on campus property leased from the university. When Grogg S.O.B. Ara, provincial minister, in charge of postsecondary education, was asked to comment on Waterloo’s plans, he said that he “was studying the issue very closely” but would not commit himself one way or the other. “1 will not make a decision until the provincial government-university liaison committee has handed down its recommendations,” S.O.B. Ara said. “But I think it’s a good idea: it’ll allow more foreign students to attend Waterloo at subsidized rates.” “Besides,” Mr. S.O.B. Ara continued, “with condoms available directly on campus, less guys will be getting themselves in trouble.” S.O.B.’ Ara would not elaborate on this point, however. According to Wilfraud (Sunny) Flubagain, UW Federation of Students President, Robber’s plans will create a “dangerous precedent” for Ontario universities. “By allowing the administration to unilaterally increase the university’s funding now, the province is relinquishing all control over the future of student fee hikes,” Flubagain declared somewhat arbitrarily. “We’re going to fight this thing to the end,” Flubagaincontinued, “or at least until the administration threatens us. The Federation is calling for a student boycott of all the participating companies for the Wmter Term, and next week we expect all Waterloo students to rally around Needless Hall to protest Robber’s plan.” Both the U W engineering society and the U W math society have declared themselves opposed to the Federation’s position on the issue. “1 think it would be great to buy condoms on campus,” declared Alfred E. MacGowand, Engsock President. “Besides which, with more funding, the engineering faculty will gain much more than the other faculties, and that’s only fair.” According to Mathsock President Turn Harpingon, the math society is only opposed to the Federation’s position “because Engsock is against it.” We’re easily persuaded by other people,” Harpingon continued. . “We don’t really have our own opinion.” At last report, Robber had invited his pal Dickless White to join him on his lOO-foot yacht in the Bahamas f.or their three-week Christmas holiday, and would not comment any further..

any exceptions --$iil be ma-de,_except \ in - excepti.otial \ circumstances as spelled .out iti subsection 16, . . . ” By Nick Ribald Dimprint staff ,

According to senior university officials, there is no overcrowding problem in U W classrooms. The U W Board of Governors (BOG) heard complaints last week from student delegations that they did not think they could get an adquate education in classes of 900. The Governors, however, were bogged down and unimpressed. “When 1 was your age we slept 10 to a bed and we didn’t have universities,” said Board Chairman T.E. Moneybags. Professor Edgar J. On hearing this, another Governor, Shnitzelhoser, retorted, “Beds? You had beds? Bloody luxury! When I was young, my family was so poor we had to sleep on dirt floors and used large rocks for pillows!” “You had a family?” asked John Redundant, UW’s vicepresident in charge of nothing in particular. “1 used to dream of having a family.” The discussion continued along these lines until many of the assembled students demanded that the problem of overcrowding be

adressed by the governors. “ I’m sick of having to show up two hours early just to get a’seat for my Psychology class,” said first-year Arts student Sammy Sucker. “It’s very difficult to take notes from the hallway.” 1.M. Verbose, U W’s vice--president for obfuscation and general muddiness, responded to student concerns on overcrowding. “We are currently examining various methods of rectifying the situation vis-a-vis space demands under the conditions set out in the university’s Procedures Analysis Document, particularly as spelled out in subsection 1, paragraph 4, item 3, where it is explicitly stated, quote, ‘under normal circumstances hardly any exceptions will be made except in exceptional circumstances as spelled out in subsection 16, paragraph 5, item 1.’ An ad-hoc, sine qua non, ad nauseum committee will be formed to form a subcommittee to examine allegations of alleged overcrowding of some stupid, and thoroughly unnecessary artsie courses on this campus. Of course, there will be fiscal expenditure required to undertake this tremendous humanitarian endeavour, ~for which we will bilk students accordingly, via a non-refundable committee formation fee . . . 1 hope the explanation clarifies things.”

Dr. Telly Saliva (in the middle of a throng of students) addresses his Philosophy V-P 1.M. Verbose. “No problem here,” says

101 seminar (The Aesthetics

of Non--Existence).

Dimprint,

Friday

December

6,1985

Tube monster invades unsuspecting campus // treatment. Somehow. a nopdle fell into a +ddlb of Village gravy and a chemical reaction caked an explosion which threw a noodle outside into a hole. The noodle began to expand and grow until it became a twisted and ‘not so pretty’ monster. The tube monster, who refers to himself as ‘Raphael,: was on hand after the incident to give this reporter an exclusive interview. When asked why he did it, he replied “I felt like it. Usually I‘m just a shy introvert but I decided to come out of my shell and see the world and just be.” As the crowd of onlookers

by Glenn Rubinoff Dimprint staff

UW’S tube monster:

Panic struck Waterloo yesterday as a giant tube monster began its reign of terror. ” From - out of the sky, it pounced on a naive and unsuspecting U W student heading for the Arts Library. The student ’ attempted to escape but was swallowed up by the merciless tube of contempt. Where did it come from? Reliable sourees’state that it is a product of ‘Village Food’. Apparently, some food services technicians were experimenting with’ new forms of KD (Kraft Dinner) through radioactive

“I got&b be me.*

Wright,‘s Inferno .\

The ancients speculated about numbers of heavens, and most of us have heard the expression “seventh heaven”, or “cloud nine” which have survived the ages wheri our ancestors,concerned themselves with different matters. d.

At ihe University of Waterloo, of course, in the late 20th ) century, we have more base and down to earth concerns. Have you ever counted the number of Hells on campus? _ Firstly, and most auspiciously, of course there is Needless Hell, &here students are tortured, term by term, in triplicate, quadruplicate and quintuplicate, and forced to part with their life savings before being allowed to leave. Most notoriously, but nearly insignificant in comparison, is Federation Hell, (otherwise known as Ciub $7.50) which you pay for (at Needless Hell) so others can go and get drunk. There is, too, the Campus Centre’s Great- Hell. Now we all know _ that the name is somewhat pietentious. In bygone years, before the new& Hells had been researched and developed here at Waterloo, it was moderately great. Today it is simply ,, a place of perpetual, even, unchanging light in which to study or write term papers at 3:00 a.m. and drink cheap gutrot coffee. But Hell, it’s free! Unlike the computers you have to pay a fee for now, there is no Great Hell fee . . . yet.

types loci

U W students standing nearby commented that they could sympathize with the monster and would make him feel at home. U W’s new student promised. not to pounce on anymore students .. . this term.

Headlines- I __ ‘. wanted: call Imprint cc 140

Those who venture to campus from the south are immediately met by South Campus Hell, a utilitarian, ordinary, hnd in every wayundistinguished Hell of a place to eat or buy books. And of Curse, there is Arts Lecture Hell for those who like a liberal and well-rounted eternal torture. For the adventurous descending on the campus from the true north strong and free, Burt Matthews Hell stands mute guard. Some exotic torments are hidden with its its dark, cavernous walls. but no-one suite knows what. as welldressed businessllike

gathered to see what was going on, Raphael looked around and .asked “Do you know what it‘s like to be a tube monster? 1want people to like me but they don‘t want to make friends with me.” Raphael’s futuie plans include enrolling as a Dance major and “bringing joy to the world.”

by Glenn Rubindff Dimprint staff Dimprint has learned

from confidential sources that computer fees are just the beginning of a long list of student fees. “These fees are essential to the maintenance of quality educafion,” said a top ranking university official. The following is a list of possible ‘additional’ fees for next year which are seriously being considered. 1. Rain Insurance Fee 2. Non Study-time FeC

it up securely- every day at

5:OO p.m., and it is never open on weekends. It seems to be very much of a 9 - 5 Hell. To the east, in the maritimes of UW, are the two deepest Hells of 911, Karl Pollack Hell and, the deepest, darkest, lowest of them all, Engineering Lecture Hell. New dimensions of meaning are given to the phrase “eternal torment” and “gnashing of teeth”. Biblical references to the “pit”as the home of the damned were obviously much on the designers’ minds as this magnificent Hell was dug. While those who finally graduate sometimes speak of being in seventh heaven, most of them had to go through the seven hells of U W first.

3. Highlighter Book Markup Fee 4. Puddle Maintenance Fee 5. Pencil Sharpener Fee 6. Examination Marking Fee 7. Ring Road User Fee 8. Black Board Washing Fee 9. Library Bag Check Fee 10. Win#y Day Fee 11. Bulletin ,Board Thumbtack Maintenance Fee 12. Classroom Seat Rental Fee 13. Dispensible Water Fee 14. Crosswalk Flashing Light Fee 15. Faculty Appreciation Fee b

Staitiiig Your Business

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StartsJanuary 16, 1986 Offf3ed by the Officeof Part -T ime Studies, Cowesporuknce and continuing cooperation with the Faculq of Engineering. .

0 Understanding

different types of companies

Deciding on a franchise, an existing business, or a new venture

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The principles discussed in the course can be applied to all types and sizes of busine&es.

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Education in

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UW Students

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by P.H. Red

o’clock ‘deadline: you’ve still got al”1,your :exams .to face. . Exams, if anything, are even worse thanessays; for they’ As the term draws to a close, students are engaged in three cannot be written in the comfortable confines of your room.’ . basic activities: writing.essays, studying for exams, and cursYou are herded into a room with othersweaty and trembling ing professors. After all, professors are the%nes who-assign students, and$ youlwait to be handed your sentence. Profespapers, make up -exams, and kdetermine students’ final sors have spent years observing &udents;and they know - grades. Profs defend themselves by saying that assignments are designed to teach us something, and that exams are held \ exactly what material students are least likely to studyf-then, they base the entire exatn ‘Q-II that’obscure point. Piofs are to make sure that we have actually learned something. Des- ~ well aware of the trauma that this creates for students:’ pite these defences, however, I am convinced that their hidden, inner motives are to torture students. . Even before you step into the exam roo’m,‘;you khow,that despite your hours of studying, something wih go wrong: Take, for example, the simple process of writing a term. Just as you find a question thatyou think. y$u can actually paper or essay. Sure, you’re warned at the beginning of the answer, every pen you-own runs out &ink. pou manage to term that you’ll have to write a paper before theterm is over, borrow or steal another pen, but as you glance at the time, but how can you even start thinking of,choosing a topic if you realize that you’ve just wasted half,your time. You start< you still have~no idea what the curse is-all about. Some profs writing frantically .and the sweat pours down you. The pen offer topic suggestions, but on!y with$the intention of further keeps slipping in your .hand as’ drops of’perspiration drip confusing’ students. Deadlines Zoom before -you and in a down your palms and onto the e’xam paper. just as youbegin moment of inspiration‘in the middle of a sleepless night, you to relax, feeling that maybe you’hget through this exam atter find some ridicuious topic remotely related to your course. all, you run out of time. . Now -that you’ve found your topic, you research it. You Worse than any of this are the oral exams so popular in spend hours in front of the library’s card catalogue merely to I language courses. For days. beforehand, you spend -every find virtually nothing on your t epic. If by chance you happen waking and sleeping moment trying ta force yourself to,think _ to-come across a usefuldbook or two, just as you’re-getting to in some bizarre foreign ltiguage (like French or Russian). valuable materiat, you find that ten pages&are torn out. No All the while<‘you know that there is absoltrtely no way for doubt you will think that some other student has used them, you to prepare yourself, for the professor is bound to ask you but I strongly suspect that profs spend most of their time I to talk about things in no way related to the term’s material. trymg to ,figure out topics students might write about and You sit there, and you are literally put on the spot; you then destroy any material these students might use. cannot come back to a question later+ you cannot think If you. overcome these basic obstacles, you can actually sit ’ c,about ,down to write the paper. This activity generally takes place ._ways_ to :_get around the question, you just have to come up wrth the right word then and there. \ * either on the day the paper is due or on the following day. And then people wonder- why so many students go around One word of advice: do not attempt to use a comp.utei; last cursi-ng professors. The fact is, that once the term is over, time 1 tried, the computer died (Pm still convinced that the those few students who have survived go on a four month machine knew that .I was a first-time user and self-destructed ’ work term to recuperate. The rest are shipped off to on purpose, eating up half my essay in the process.) If you get .

by Crass Woodscum Dimprint staff

.his stethoscope.

Singing -star Frank Sinatra has given birth to se>tuplets in what one physician terms, “a medical,. rnjraple’:.., They /were delivered -five hours after Slnatra, w,ent into labour, .by *his personal physician; Dr, Vincente _ ,Petracini, by Sicilian. section. Sinatra had nothing but praise for Dr. ’ Petracini; ~ and later showed his gratitude by kissing

Dr.. Petracini said that the pregnancy was one of the most unusual he has ever dealt with. “It isvery uncommon for a man of; Sinatra’s age to have .a success;g ful pregnancy and thiswas onl$ complicated by the-fact that he+ -had been taking fertility drugs which resulted in the multiplicity of the babies conceived.” . When asked by reporters about whether there was’ any

Some of Sinatra’s friends .come to the ,h&pital

-’ t ’

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insane asylums. .But before we denounce profs completely, ‘let’sgive credit where it’s due: in terms of devising efficient methods of torture, professors are far ahead of the,Nazis: . . I ‘I .

danger early in the pregnancy -weight from three lbs:, four ozs. because of the stress on Sinatra to five Ibs., seven ozs., are all. caused by the allegations in the, reportedly ‘doing well. Sinatra comic strip, Doonesbury, about commented that the babies wi,ll Sinatra’s supposed Mafia conbe. named after relatives and “business associates” with the nections, Sinatra became visibly“irate and ‘shot back te;sely; exception df’the.Qrst-born son bb\To;l ‘ihiI;k 1 c~‘ie- what *.“iblib;$i$ i+iiJ q&lg$ Carmine that disrespectful. bastard has to, : prlGiS0~ after Sc&&(’ Gia: say about me? It’s all just a dirty no&, ‘Sinatra’s‘ “fin’ancial conpack of lies. Now get the heil sultant”. Mr. Gianotti was also named as the child’s godfather out of my way before somebody breaks your. kneecaps.” in order to “honour some obli’ The septuplets, ranging in .gation$. .

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Friday

‘-, December

>a 6,198s

-Women ,to be seen and . not head

case / SlES. by &ho Else? and Guess Who? 1% know Dimprint staff ’

The writers of Enginews (seen here) on their way to Waterloo County, Court House to defend the tabloid, which is CUT; rently undergoing a civil suit brought about by the U W Radical Feminist Bitches Society. “1 don’t understand why the chicks on this campus are resorting to this,” said Alvin McGoon, representative of Enginews and defender of the cause. “They’ all must be ART-

They’ certainly do not how many logarithms there are on a slide rule. 1 still Stan4 by the old engineering adage that ‘women at UW should be seen and not heard’, and I know. that I have‘the undying _support of the UW administration. Mr -McGoon ’ maintained that there will always be an Enginews as long as there were women to exploit. Dimprint attempted to contact Dr. Right, UW President, (who is paying for the Enginews lawyer), but he was- busy at a

K-W Oktoberfest Beauty Page-Women’s Commissioner, ant board meeting. His se&eKaty Stuart maintained that tary did tell Dimprint that Dr. she didn’t agrei: with censorRight had all the bound vo: ship, but she did believe that lumes of Enginews from the last _ “the writers of Enginews should 25 years in his office and that he be shot and pissed-on!” She said she was not surprised that ,Enwas certainly well-read on -the Enginews issue. ginews plagarized Gloria SteiThe UW Dean of Women num’s article, because that was asked to comment on the group is know’n for its lack of recent civil suit; but since UW originality and lack of regard has no Dean of Women or no for anyone or anyt’hing except women deahs for that matter, it - their own discipline. made this writer’s investigative Dimprint will keep ‘abreast’ journalism that much more difof the outcome of this legal \acficult. lion.

Springsteh in’ paternity suit by Mik~O’Driscoll

‘Bruce Springsteen - singer, songwriter, and as of late, husbandhas b.een named in a paternity suit that has brought the eyes of the music world to bear upon him; After.being contacted.*bv the mother’s lawyers, Springsteen is said to have been severely distraught. The suit, naming the rock star as father of’Ralph and Dweeble,Black,feather, may invdlve up to $l,OOO,dQO in support payments. Cindy Blackfeather, the mother, was not atiailable for comment btit: her lawver did release this statement: “Cindy _ is yet - another victim of ,flagrant promiscuity of these musician types. This is 3 u

To the edit06

If God had wanted men to think, brains. So tliere.

he would have given them

J. Schredder Dept. of Simple Engineering

P.S.- your mother wears army boots. .’ ’

To the editor:

Piss me’off. Here 1was, enjoying a nice greaseburger at the Food Services outlet, when all of a sudden 1sink my teeth into a toolbox. NOW, 1 can under%nd a pair of long-nosed pliers or even a Phillips screwdriver; but 1 was personally insulted that I had been subjected to the degrading experience of consuming more tools than my father has itilhis shop, inc!ud@ a COmplete se!-@ sqeket wrenches., 1’11&at my- 0% eyebills .bePdre”‘l ‘p&son myse##.%Vit.h?theQffals _, pawned off 36 “foo&’ at :thaF greqty-pqop-scoo_p. ‘:+: II, Signed, Max (grossed

_ .~ out to the)

perfect example of the responsibilites that can be heaped upon young innqcent ostriches. Cindy’s not doing this for her‘self, it’s for the fledglings. Sand and edible refuse don’t come cheap you know.” When questioned about Cindy’s true origins, hei- lawyer merely offered “No-comment,” and looked guiltily up at the sky. And w,hy a two-hetided baby ? “Must have been something in his genes. It certainly had nothing to do with her.” Results from a query made by this reporter indicate that the baby is in fine feather and is reported to be honking for up to four hours at a time. . A source close to Bruce was quoted as saying “Well, Bruce is just that kind of a guy. You know, six beers and any bird looks like a chick. Besides, you can’t blame Cindy, just listening to Bruce sing is like aural sex.” Bruce’s wife was not available for questioning and is said to have he; head stuck in the sand somewhere. However, we did talk to Bruce. Cindy claims that she met Bruce in a hotel bar in Kenya. A meaningful, trusting relationship developed but ended in the morning when Bruce caught g plane -back 1.0the U.S.A. Bruce’s reply to this: “Look, I’ve never been to Kenya, and 1 never met any ostriches when l.was there. Besides, you can:\1 even fit one of those in the back \ seat of a ‘59 Caddy.’ ” ’ In response ‘to questioning regarding his alien associations Bruce _I said;; ,?t;Jhat’s- -g&-bage,$ waF-tboJ? ,,in the 1.: v,.!$&? _1 got !; !pcial ,security card and ey&-ything.” ‘. “’ .Resuits from’the blotid test are sr~ll-.~en‘iiin~~*but:fornow de’11 just say that ostriches are born to run.

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Engineering through by Frank van Biesen For years now a question has been asked around campus by students in all faculties (including engineeing): “What is engineering, and where did it come from? (and how do we get rid of it?).” Throughout our history courses, we hear of the engineering greats: Henry Ford, designer of the automobile; Dr. Ferdinand Porsche, designer of the working automobile; James Watt, designer of the steam kettle (or was that engine?); Thomas Crapper, designer of the toilet; and Jackson K. Sewer, designer of the system which uses Crapper’s invention along with some ingeniously connected pipes to turn the Humber River (and the rest of Lake Ontario) into the swimmer’s paradise it is today. These people were not, of course, the inventors of the concept of engineering. This appeared long ago in forms which the history books neglect to mention. For example, you can often hear people saying “Civil engineering is archaic.” This is referrring to the fact that civil engineers existed in the stone age. Little-known facts such as these make up the actual history of engineering which is summarized here to enlighten those who find themselves repeatedly asking the above-mentioned question. Civil: Long, long ago (back around the time Thor and the rest of the B.C gang were roaming the Earth), man developed the technology to build such things as caves, pyramids, etc. Available materials were limited: pebbles, stones, rocks and boulders. After a few initial construction attempts, it became evident that merely slapping together a few rocks to make an enclosure tended to have disastrous effects on those who dared to step inside. it was decided that certain experts were necessary who would be able to determine the safety of the structure without it having to collapse. Naturally, these experts did not exist and, ‘after many years of trial and error, was born the civil engineer. Now this civil engineer was an intelligent fellow. You see, he really did not know whether the structure was safe anymore than anyone else did. But he had seen so mny collapse, that he had an idea of when the stones used were too small or improperly placed. 1his, ot course, was a guessing game, and if anyone had known that at the time, the civvie would have been sacrificed to thedinosaurs. So he developed a decoy. Whenever he was asked to judge a structure’s safety, he would stretch out his arm, hold up his thumb, sight along it, and say something like: “Kaboo. Zefak tir mo deralem.” Translation: “Yup, Looks OK to me.” This had people baffled for centuries, and they give him the nickname “Magic Thumbs.” Nowadays we are far too smart for any of this. But the civils are still one step ahead in their capicity to justify their existence. They now have what is called a transit & level, an expensive set of words describing an optical thumb. They look through these devices, and make possibly life-threateningdecsions based on what they see. Not bad for binoculars on a tripod. Mechanical: The mechanical engineers got started somewhat later than the civils, and as a result they had the opportunity to adapt some of the progress made by the civils to their work. This amounted to absolutely nothing, and this the mechanicals may just as well have been the first ones around. Their first major.accomplishment was the design of the square wheel. They promptly discovered its limited range of use but through some strategic planning, managed to sell all they had to

I 1

the civil engineers (They sold them as building blocks). The process of re-inventing the wheel then began; first came a hexagonal design, and, after a number of iterations, the round wheel was born. Although this was to revolutionize the transportation industry hundreds of thousands of years later, it put the mechies out of business at the time since the civils would no longer buy the wheels. As a result ofI this unfortunate occurrance,the mechanicals sufi fered a relapse of nonexistence which they have yet to pop out of (i.e. the wheel design has not been improved since that time). There was, at one time, a rumour that a mechanical engineer designed the internal combustion engine, but it has since been proven that it was actually invented by a garbage man who got tired of the wheelbarrow method. Chemical: The chemical engineers have the distinction of being the first to discover fire. The development stages of this discovery included trying to fry everything in sight, making the chemmies an unpopular group at the time. Over the years they made many important discoveries, such as how to control rampant tree growth by way of incinerating entire forests. After being persuaded by the mechies and’civvies not to turn the Earth into a flaming supernova, the chemmies finally arrived at the antidote to fire: water H-TWO-O, they called it, since it was made by carefully combining two atoms of Hydrogen and one of Oxygen. Billions and billions of them had to be combined in this way in order to produce any visible amount. A rather dubious procedure, considering the stuff can be obtained in substantial quantities from your kitchen tap. Electrid: This flavour of engineering has not really jumped into the limelight until recently. This is because they have spent most of their time chasing something no human has ever seen: the electron. The usefulness of these tiny items is quite extensive: they can light your lightbulb, heat your home, power your lawnmover, and even crunch your equations (the latter is rumoured to be costly). These seemingly insignificant particles have been used in discovering the tube transistor (which led to television). Now, however, the same tube has been miniaturized to a point where no human can see it (a classic example of the “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em syndrome). Thse micro-sized transistors now make UP the guts of the computer. M\odern breakthroughs in electrical engineering are virtually all computer-related and thus hardly worth mentioning. Systems Design: The latest edition of engineers. This discipline is based on the theory that no system is purely mechanical, or civil, etc., and thus an engineer with a background in all these areas is required. A person such as this is known as a generalist, a fence-sitter, or just plain confused. Basically their studies involve learning

5 , Dimprint,

Friday

:i the

December

6, 1985 -

ages

less and less about more and more until they know absolutely nothing about everything. This makes them very versatile, however, and they can approach virtually any problem with the comfort of having seen it before, as well as the enigma of not having a clue as to its solution. As for discoveries by engineers in this field, this is very difficult to say. You see, behind every seemingly succesful systems designer is a mechie, an electrical, a civvie, and a chemmie telling him/ her what is actually going on. Their individual contributions have been rather limited. Now this entire profile has the hauntingly familiar ring of a politician to it. These people would make excellent candidates for public office, giving the government the command of technical buzz-words it so sorely lacks. There you have it, in a nutshell. So the next time someone comes up to you and asks you what engineering is and where it came from, just tell them this story. They are sure to go away satisfied, having been re-assured that engineering really means as little to them as they thought it did ... .

Having sold his 12 year-old Sister into Slavery and mortgaged his grandmother’s dialysis machine to pay his computer fee this term, Tgm Packman (4A BS) gathers up his worldly be-longings and heads off to his workterm.

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by Marie Sedivy Dimprint staff

?being reassigned to Central America. A few pages later in the paper, some bouncing Czech wrote about the mastication exploits with pink-haired roommates.

each other on phones while they are. in the same office. Everything is ge,nerally done back, wards; before going down for a ._ A serious epidemic has hit the beer at the Bombshelter, staff / s Imprint staff. During the past members down a couple of cups \ few weeks, . several staff of coffee. * members have-exhibited bizarre The following week, things did The’ seriousness of the epiand irrational behaviour. No not improve. Doug Thompson demic .was revealed in Nigol’s . one can identify the disease, but Imprint’s head typesetter, concomments. When - asked what it is believed that extreme work fessed to having shot his T.V. he thought of theepidemic, the load, boredom, and Wednesday The paper also carried a story editor-in-chief replied “I’m all night proofreading are all conabout a local politician who for it.” He went on to say that, tributing factors. fixes stalled cars on Ring Road in his job description, there is ,- . The first indication , that without knowing why. no mention of doing anything to solve it. Evidently, he too, something was seriously amiss Things went downhill from ’ has become a victim of the ilcame in the November 15 issue there. cast week, Snuffy, Tom lness. of Imprint when Gord Durnin, York’s dog, took over one of the Experts have been unable to normally a serious and respeccolumns in Imprint, leading pinpoint the cause and nature table news editor, reported on some staff members to state pf the disease, but because it has the general meeting of the Fedthat “the paper is going to the spread so quickly am,ong Imeration of Students. No doubt llogs.” . print staff, there is reason to besuffering from severe boredom lieve that it is highly contagious. and a heavy work load, Durnin Although these are the most In order’ to protect the general ’ felt‘compelled to embellish his visible symptoms, there are student population, it was news story by describing, drop - some “behind the scenes” signs thought best to quarantine the by drop, the,sweat he imagined of illness. Wednesday night hysImprint office for a month. pouring down the faces of the teria has resulte’d in one staffer Therefore, Imprint will not be comatose participants. As Rick doing cartwheels between typublished until January 10, Nigol, Imprint% editor-in-chiec pewriters. Two other staffers 1986. _ has already noted,’ Durnin is succumb to pressure and call / ,

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the ‘wide variety of topics co- - constitute at least half of a do& vered. A female collegue visited torate. the women’s rooms, and came Further delving into the up with the same conclusion. One of the most spectacular strange phenomena, thev nroposed a-reason for the bl&ediscoveries of the Gntury has They convened for . several I divine been uncoxered in the lavato- * weeks and decideb that there _m e n-t of these revelations. They proposed that ries of the University of Waterare indeed budding philo,- the toilet itself acts in much the 100. / sophers whose theses can be same mannner as the oracles at A visiting philosopher was sited on many bathroom walls. Delphi acted so many centuries astonished to find such, revelaThey also commended the discitions on the walls of the ba- pline of these students, some of ago: The people who are af-Q fected by this phenomena- write throoms campus-wide. So great whose writings in any one parwas his interest that he spent an ticular place must have taken at about such controversial issues as birth control, abortion, sex, entire week visiting all the lava- ’ tories taking extensive notes. least 2 hours to complete, and drugs andcrock and roll. Some which would belong enough to writings are more crude than He was furthe.r ,astonished by othefls, but all convey important messages to the benefit of mankind. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. 1 didn’t lik&h<oior This new discovery will probsales, then I answered an ad similar to this 15 months ago and now ably change the world as we earn $2 150/ week, at 24 years old. Instead of filling out applications, know it. People will now be able 1 am now interviewing for the film industry. if you are 18 years or to go to the sacred toilet oracles over, and have transportation, I’ll discuss. your future o<er a free of Waterloo for divine soothcoffee. Salary and bonuses available during training. ~ sayings. Hopefully, the large Call Now! volume of people, who will’undoubtedly be attracted, will not -affect the purity of these revela- ‘. _tions.

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by Qdell- Washington Dimprint staff ’ .‘%Ioliday. Qzlebrate.

Ooh yeah: Ooh yeah: l&q nded a holiday.” Holiday: Madonna

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I’m sure that a lot of you oGt: thqT.$hink, that there is ndsubgaiice at ail to Madonna’s I. .. .. . Uk- ..-. ‘.__ :I __-__P-AL.2 close enough’iroti will find that. yadoncq sings*ahdut a lot of

was what kh&was sayingi I was so moved, I neiir&ried. l::: felt really ‘close to her,,:‘as i.hfi..eh rh). -.-A A-1.. -IA--rrwyyt1 311G, ClLlU ur11y alIt=, &411‘. __ derstood our plight. It wasso ’ deep, it wds almost like a tq,H-

E Record Store - Top Toones L- -t&th--“Z ~>++i n~faI things, ya+ _ b&k or some#ing ‘, . . . .YU. ,.. .S‘ u1 -.- / 1. Gloves and Sockets - Wet Dreams of B Teenager s ‘ ‘knbw? r : ) -. _ And I . thinkthat ‘she ‘n&St r .: . 2. Corey Fart_. VaGiine KeepsM; Hair Up t be psychic or som&tl$* iig as “Afier aboul!%& Go.iisieti..-llD-,--e-t----s -I-Fuck It - F&k You’(EP) C . . .. , .WY,, -c-rl,,<iy nr,u,~,c.p could the The Unfiiiibie Tires *’ ‘ing+I finailj uj@erstqqa she ----know c~-tiiat -------- --2A - Mat - -~ h stulyrics tb the&%&@jxandit 1 4 5. Grace Bones - * I’ii Kin;. Your Head In, Honky, $ ’ dipnts haGo .thoir Alrrohya andtiasJike;‘a r~aiiy‘ti~sticai’ti& .N’ ‘6. Nuclear Dis-Order‘ - , No Life * lCk to - 3.~ 7. .Snears Four. J&e& Songs $ro& A High Chai; * .: ment,for r6e: Iffelt as thou@-w-.1 -nay,.- . . ..YvvU. d~at for. Madonna && spl’eakln9 * -’ *?i- . me, Turtles Don’t Dream $ If shn hadn’t *knnwq. t@en 1:. . ta I- Who% Motorc$cie <l)r: iectiy to me arid’ that ‘I ha<! &Q ._ ?- wduidn’t .T - _.-__ __~_____ have --AS SW ‘ihe’ t tell everyone - Jhe- imporgan++, shna. Soiieti atid I Coidf: T kn’bw I-&it j dn. ~ .’ . . -, stbff in this Song. - , 4. -: _ -7. :*’ LJust Arrived What I reaiize& w&s’ that .- :’ T&ail’ $& petipie ‘who can’t N‘ Thi;i Is CraD- * gee the tied&q in this song: I Madonna. ii ttilkin$. ; &bout $ 2. Very Simple Kinds - We Were Great - Once-Q&r t @lath ’ at W&erio&‘ an? the. pity you, becaus$ it, /s really A Time % -.&A tLt rAmA A..IllA A&,h+ ,really Jaugh’ sched!mtA +L* ‘I= 4 . * 3. Sssmiths \ ,. E&qnburger> ‘Forev&k .g, m&ies afe forced __ ---- -__ -_ --mm m-9-w -p-v-.. ---r----’ \-.-“. _ She is saying that we’ (‘the mairig. thies) rieed a: holiday because Neit we+: Duran D&an.school is, like, so hard for us, ,Wildboys ,as a .description of -w-...

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m-gmews is J'se&t I .,l .

by Retep Noswal \ _ Dimprint staff The tiord came out &at the review of the oboe/.piano coi* laboration a couple of wtieks qo was dull, bqri& _utiexcitirig ..;ho-hum. Well let me stit the record straight. . I - The’ reveiw may .qot have .&served a Pulitzer Prize but. ,.&at. was because. I failed to :report that the oboist and pihnist played iri*he-nude.‘Yes, the nud&!’ -‘-, We,, the .Dimprinters,” do .%ot stoop to press sensation- aiism; we do not haveZEnclassical. concert. *as. p&r; . formed unclad would be ‘be- .. geath us. , L +I vieaed ‘&e&i&s (in : many wziys) irrelevent iLie-’ viewi&-the music presented. The observ&ion’s, that these -women of cult&e Jbunced their breasts to the’ beat, or * that the high sqciety audience found this ‘display m&e%-&1orating than nude voile~bali, had not place in,:,a ,Dimprint classical conceq r&&w. ~ In closing, I Giish ‘$0 scold s * anyone who dares to critisize an articleof cuituye, and will make no mentior) of the iude . actsperformed tiith the oboe.

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d. proac.h ~o.f ‘*ihG, f*orxp;er 1 * governmentiT. . Press’ ‘What happened &the new . I e,ra in federal-prbvincial e’j+zia- H&LIFA’X (CUP) -I’ Ontario’s tions?’ he a-Sked. David Peterson iied a pack of \ pfemiers atlastweek’s first-min-i .Gawky~-4kdon Muhoney to *immediately suspend action isters conference in denouncing -on any cuts to; federal -+pro-’ ’ Ottaw@‘s!-plan to cut $6: biLlion grammes affecting the provic from feaer-1 transfer payments’ ces for thenext t&o years. ’ _ to the provrces. q ,Peterson said. reductions to ’ -Johnson, in, Halifax only fot I. the first day &the conference ; the federa! gbvernment;s contri: because o&*nd@s pr@i$c~a~~ .I butibns’ to health and., posts+= , condai-y .:education --‘$mding ’ electi@‘n @Quebec, said’the cuts _ *‘are,,unaccepta.ble.‘2 . - ‘, I would “Cut’ right into. the 1 bone.“‘.,. _-.Johnson.also’crrt~ .sed “uni-’ ’ latera+ r-e-opening-oft he present I “They will cut right into:our fiscal arraiqernertts~ one year . I ability to provide faculties, libefore-t her! expiry date.” braries , . *and. .. state-of-t he-art .Pa@#y 3aid ,h;lulr&peyk ar” equipment,.t$& is- needed s,o ‘Wument ~hat:.~~~p~ovfnces.h~~e ‘: teaeh +nd tram the next genera-? _‘18 ” tion of Capa#ia.ns,:” said. ‘Peter4 : ‘to: bear a’ f& share in order to _ . . . iedqje ,;thtt. feder@ SQP..’ * i.,. ” ~4~.‘l”“phoriy,:’ ,_ :. jaefic$‘.$ y : ,-%.I+ , . Peterson joined ~Ma%oba “The provinces all, face finanpremier Howard Pawley and ‘by Lois’ Corbett i c Lof Canadian Urhverqity

government‘% actions were _“indistinguishable from the ap” \/

Cotirse otitline must be’follbwqid~.-1. .

governmg qyersull uu LFUL CA:I xuql,-r_ irimq IL s mat mg a ‘“WtyC%? agi~c~ wry me LWUrawaisgrunrrea witn rne way a in IYUI-~4. r-i7 was expeueo racysneu. Y es; yqu can sue Ior a t _ elude courts ’ from deciding yers that education malpraqice 2% 1 course is taug‘ht’can sue the infrom the progr$mme. breach/of ~a course o~.$l$e,? .he de$* ,&he said: “In the final .L.._\ -_‘. I breach ‘of contract; analysis 1,dop’t think> -.C hicoine ap’pealed using insaid. stitution offering it, an Ontario -care. enough about;Qthe.,course ternai ~uni~ers?ty ’ ‘procedures “The purpose of Ryerson In- ‘/ Hubsch&~~co~uidn”t speculate court hai ruled. . and w&s eventu’ally~~offered the stitute -is to provide pro- ’ on boy., widespread--the u$@act. outlinebeing ,adhered to.” Provincial court. Judge Pam; grammes and course of study in of the judgment will be,. but-he 1 -’ Young< s+d that having. come,” he said -of Chicolne’s \ I’ela Thompson Sigurdso$%on- h chance to repeatthe’course. *.J a variety of areas;,-not to adjudisaid his phones ‘:have< beenring-through the university appeal lawsuit. eluded recently t’hat., a Unsatisfied, ‘he took the-case cate _ co-mplaints arising -from ’ process; Chic&e should not ’ -.” _ to small claims court to.recover I ’ ing off the hook’from students He said universrty.presidents. : 37-year-old former styd,ent at relittions,” . who Want to, retarn,, my: seq+;Ryerso’n Polytechnical’lnsiitute ,about $63O”in tuition. and some’ student/university ‘ ’ she said ,i-n her judgment. here can sue the school because ‘$800 in studentkdans. Chicoine’s jawyer, Frank.~ \one .of its professors allegedly .- :, Ryerson chauenged. j the J$ul&k!~~~ said th$:- &&iGin’ : departed% from. the’programme, -:,:~c?d;jrt~~~ju~~sdictio~~~i~@#‘case: . Hughes.,uChicoiiie, a profesplth’ough~ &&rts:’ tra&ion! ~‘tcertainly opens up the.situaally stay out of,internal i&&r&. tion” for stud&$hts’to*‘t’ike legal ,, Istitution hasn’t-kept its ,part -of _’ i _.’ sional photographer.-in an upUnfversrA the.bar$in., :’ I %f , I; action against~their‘schools, L“r-l lav@uits but. she a.: ““l Council of<Qntario grading .,programme, -failed - a . sity disp,iieq - Judge _ . Thomson . \ .,’ , . .a’ .aftirward . ; _* , ~T”Y< I-__II/ -_:%: < ‘1 -,’ --L.L

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Imprint. is *e studeit newspaper at the University’ “‘of .’ Waterl’do? -It * .is an editorial@ iqdependerit newspap& published by Imprint Publications, -Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint ti a member of the Ontario Comn~‘Newsprapar Association (OCNA), and a member of Canadian UntversiQ Press (CUP). Imprint publishes every second Friday during the Spring term and every Friday during the regular terms. Mail should be addressed tg “Imprint, Campus Centre Room 140, University of JjG&erloo; Waterloo, Ontar&’ _ Imprint kerves the right to screen, edit, and refkse ++vertising. Imp3Wt: ISSN 0706738C . w

EditoM3aahiaf

, Rick Nigel

Assisfant EBitor Chri.~ Jinot -

Co-Op Ordeal:

DoaTait BxdxwsslKa~ger Janet Law@33

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I coukjri’t decide whether to title this Co-Op Sadness, or ColOp Madness. So I ended up with a corhprbmisc as unsatisfactory as the Co-Op program itself. It’s only three months since we said good-bye to our summer term co-op friends, and only a few weeks un?il we will be welcoming their return. For most UW students, a school year is almo‘st eight months, September to April, with a few juggling in a “spring” term (&lay-August) now and then. It’s mid-year now, time ,to tbke stock of the past three-nionths, make sdmle mid&urse’adju&tinents for the next f&r and wonder’ wh’iit t&d@ with the summer. @irt fdr CoiQp students, nb sooner h&s the school year Jegun than it’s over, Friends going hpme.for Christmas witi not be Seen again, in most cases,for eight or 12 months. By then everything wili be different, hard to pick up where you left off. Resuming the friendship will almost require starting over, but then, realistically, you’ve\only got three months to do it in!

HeaaTypes&er

that occurs in a class, a.constanf group of people, under the I leadership of a single prof, is shattered just as it is -beginning to bear fruit. Educators oft&n talk of “educating the whole person” and of the importance of friendships between students, and the relationships between students and profs. Yet the Co-Op system almost seems. conSciously. designed to undermirie those ‘priceless assets to university education, , for both Co-Op and regular students. Many graduates say they learned more outside--the classrooti than in. Community of scholars? Most profs, even, laugh at the idea. At UW the concept is nearly meaningless outside a few od+ball corners of campus. y I The’merits of mixing work and study are well-k&&n. The .advantag& of woik experience tb any student able to secure employment are blear.. What’s not clear is the advantage ‘of scheduling thi&as if life occurred in four montli chunks. What is‘clear. is that evervone would be better off if the basic unit of time were eigh; or 12 months

Aluh3sistant

S-la Gunter brews E&&or Gord Durnin Arta EUitorl - Chris Wodskou AkdstbtArtsEUitor Darlene Zimmerman Sports’ Editor Jo-&nne,Lon&y

* .,4 month term &tr~s&f.ul’st i’nstead* Waterloo,has ca reputation

for student apathy, and the Co-09 students take first place in the apathy competition, The reasons are obvious: it’% nearly impos.sible to- get if?volved .to change things when you’re either about to leave in a few weeks, or you just arrived and are still getting settled in. Such efforts take tin&, time-Co-Op studerits don’t have; they take commitment, commitments that the Co-Op program doesn3 give time needed 6 develop; and concern, coircern for: others as well as yourlself, concerns <which t‘he Co-Op program almtist prevents you froin. becoming Fware of, because you’re always off balance, or looking for a job, pr looking for a place to live, or sa$ng .goodbye.

% . I And it’s the Same on Gvork term. No sooner do you stait getting to know peo@l+han you’re whisked. away.” Sure, studies and work-terms can be sliced up into th’ree or ‘rour month segments, as a minute can be divid& into 60 seconds. But life< can’t be sliced. up like that. Life doesn’t occur in mea&abie units of time, Iif&.oc&rs iti gestalts, (a Gerban word for which there is nd English equivalent) meaning wholes, qr a -series of interconnected events, cause-effect relation?hips with a beginning, a- middle and an end G giv& and take.interactions, which almost alwgys take more than four moriths to work themselves out. Stress studies show’ that the shock to the system of changing residence takes about six weeks, in, ideal m .’ circumstances,, tb abate. When. changes in primary . , relationships and daily activities occur, ‘the adaptatiqn Even /the senior folks in Needles Hall recognize the ’ per&d is even longer. In other words, a- human-being who problem. UWIs Fourth De&de Planning Report comments changes his residence, and, .his daily routine, and his on the importance of cultural and academic activit’ies other primary relationships ev&y four,months, is psychologically . than scheduled classes, and notes the negative effect. of always off balance, always under excess stress. .the co-op program on that. Btit what are they doing about $Vhat happehs ..is psychological arid social isola!ion. $fiem&hips) are bar-d or impossible to sustain virhen it? Nothing, of Course. by the Geographical dislocations occur So frequently and so ‘ ,Problems of student housing are also aggravated need to relocate, find new roommates, or get to predictably. Getting involved with the people, places and . constant know and learn how to get along with new peapIe. evbnts of your environment is hard or impossible, when We have seen frpm the Senate and Boaid of Governors of you know you’ie going to be leaving soon.‘Even for regular this university a chronic and cpnsistant disregard of the students, the Co-Op program has adversely effected the human needs and values in education., We can’t expect life. Year courses are almost -quality ‘of -student them to do anything about it .unless students take some non-existent. it takes about four months to begin to get to responsibi!ity for our collective tife and demand a sane and know people in your, classes. And j&i %IS you begin, it’s humarie approach to eduiation’frdm the administration. over. Sure yqu may encounter some of thesame people in Doug Thompsoti other classes, but the whole community building process /’

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Mary 8-5~ Aitken, Neasl Bonnor, 3.D. &nser, Eron Boyd, Harald Bransch, Adaxn Chamberlain, Paulina Chin, Donna, Chow, Derrick Chua, Brenda Croxnpton, Paul Done; Christine Fischer, Nicole Gnutzxnan, .X4@ Harris, Bru&e Head, M&rk Holden, Jack Kobayashi, P&r ,X,awqn+ W@ g Laq&ck Lefcourt, Ian Lipton, Michael Loh, DanIqons, Unda M&ord, M&e O’Driscoll, Grwme &eppler, Ghannon mll, Bwgen Fbdferm, Satindei, Sahota, kulr6iv fhikaili, Todd r ‘Schneider; Peter &a$hopiiz&& Ad&n St&ens; Mike. Strathdee, Tony Sturnwi, Maxjka Ta~mm, Su Te@wco, Daq Trexxiblay, Mike Urlocker, Gem Watts, Sagah Wells, Simon Wheeler, Thomas Whiti, Michael Wolfe, Kevin ‘Wopd, TOEI. Yqk, Alan Yoshioka, John Zachariah, Glenn Rubinoff, J&f Nugget, Carol Davidson, Colin McGillicudQr, Andrew Dyk, Marie Sedivy, Denise Roeleveld, Ctidy Long; . Steve Hayman, Pati Ha;~ms, Dave’ Hudgins, Cathy Somers. 1.

page’ ‘is d and opinion &ecm froni oirr reader@. The FOruti tn)pritit Alcomeq ~okntits f&Me 8n opportunity io. present views- on v8rioul issues. Opinionsexpressed in letters, s or! other articles .on this p8ge represent those of Wit. iiUth6rq 8nd not imprint. L$ters ’ typed, double-sprced, and signed with name and teiephone number, -and Nbmitted t0 CC Miaximum _ length , of letten: s2W 1 words. Anyone wishing _ to write : 6~00 p.m. Monday. Aii is subject t? editing:, 8rticies _sbu!d contact the ed#or-i_nqhief. -opinionated

-PAC staff tinfriendly

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by Christine Fischer *. b , r’ Last Saturday night I had a rather disconcerting experience when’ I went to the PAC to play squash: What I encountered was a hostile atmosphere, made up of a sarcastic staff and several jocks who believe that they know it .-all . It was the first time I had playedsquash at the PAC, and ibeing a. first-year student, I still find the PAC a rather I confusing place. When L found the tote room, I thought that if I asked.a few questions, I would soon-have ‘my ’ bearings. I askedthe staff member who was working the tote room that night where I couldrent-a racket. He replied in a snarky tone that the vending machine, was around the corner. Unfamiliar with this manner of renting a’racket, I went around the cotier,‘expecting to find a large vendin\g machine filled with rackets; Not finding this. 1 went back and asked him to clarify himself. He growled that the vending machine was AROUND THE COR-NER. I looked again and found a tiny machine which dispensed paper tickets good for the rental of a racket. ’ ’ When I went back to ask for change, he’said that I’d h.ave to go to the Campus Center to get it, but his tone conveyed extreme impatience. So, I went to get the change, came back, and got the ticket,.only to find out that I had to give the ticket to the same guy in the tote room in exchange for a racket. When I presented the ticket, he looked at me in a way that told-me I needed something else, and eventually he grunted that I’d need my student I.D. card to rent a ,. -.. racket. Having gone through all this, I arrive’d at my*rksertied court and knocked on thedoor, only to be faced with a pair who informed me that I was too late to still have thecourt -reserved. Naturally, not having played-here before, I was unaware of this rule , but by now, something like ‘this could not .deter me. By the time we got on the court, ‘my friend and I were able to play squash for ..* a whole 15 I minutes: . Admittedly, I am not a professional squash player, nor do I profess tobe one, but I feel I have the same rights to, use the court as any other UW student. My friend and I go j out and play squash for the fun and exercise. I got the distinct impression that both the staff -and several athletes in the PAC at the time felt that it is meant mainly for the,use of the talented athletes and that I had no business being there. The staff in-the tote room were not helpful, were unfriendly and gave me the bpression that I was wasting their precious time. One staff member in’particular made several snide comments to another staff member, loud enough to be intended-that I hear them, like”.,.some people don’t find this place ‘till December...” in a very rude manner. I am not asking for special treatment; I onl,y question the .fact that all students should automatically know all the rules and jechnicalities about the PAC. It would have been nice if m-y friend, who attends Conestoga College, got the same good impression of the-U of W’s sport camplex as I got when we played at Conestoga. The sports staff there was friendly and helpful, in direct contrast to what we ‘encountered at the PAC Saturday night. My friend has no desire to play here again, and quite franklg, nor do’ I. I think we’ll play at Conestoga next time. J

To the editor: _ . ‘( Hall once a week but I had decided to wait until after Reflections Now I’m not a hard core fan of any period of music and can, in in order to show that an evening of songs that date pre-1970 can fact stand anything from country to opera. However, I found provide a refreshing change in dance music. Unfortunatelv. this J -------Reflections at Fed Hall, Saturday November 23 a great disapopportunity didn’t-present itself. Whomever organized this pointment. a event, in their prejudiced view; decided that an entire evening I have p~edy enjoyed CHYM’imGolden (rldies weekends without at least one or t&o 1985 songs would be a disaster. when, for t*wo solid days, oldtime favourites are heard on the Surely,people can’t dance to OLD MUSIC!! radio and was excited to hear they were presenting Reflections.’ Well, I’d-like to prove that people can and do dance to it but the Arriving at Fed Hall, we discovered that the goldan oldies by . evidence I was waiting for wasn’t provided. My boyfriend and I such idols as Elvis, The Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Chubby - had beenlooking forward ta Reflections, a chance to really dance Checker and The Hollies were ignored in favour of Hackneyed our feet off, for almost a month. People who want new-music an “radio music”. Again we were subjected to YOU Spin Me Round .j go to Fed Hall any Thursday or Friday night but there’s not a and.Shout, Fed Hall’s faithful standby’s. I won’t deny that these - place where people can go to relive those days when love was all are good dance songs, but PLEASE, let’s have a break,once in a you needed. Reflections .could have provided that atmosphere if a,~ ’ while. not invaded by 1985 songs. i I had been considering suggesting an .“Oldi&Night” at Fed / E. J. Husrst : . ’ -

A newspaper story of some years b&k tells of Wilma and . Robert Smallfield of Los Angeles. Wilma and Robert. were dlvorced, but Wilma objected td Robert dating other women. One day tile drlvlng down the street ‘in his new car, Robert was rammed from behind. He looked back and there was Wilma in her Buick At the n&t intersection when he paused’for a traffic light, he was rammed again. The the third time he was rammed from an angle. It was Wilma who shouted at him to-turn arid fight like a man. Wisely, Robert sped off. But a few blocks later he was hit for a fourth time as Wilma zoomed out at him from a hiding place. Robert left hi-s car to call the police.-Whenthey anived, he was pinned against a wall and she was at him with a two-by-four. In @iI, she explained, “1 only wanted tofrighten him. I did it all for love.” In a Peculiar way, Wilma was right about love, as she understood iSc,#@-do~~*rigs fiar,*t*~+ love;@@ dtw% tall love i&&$@epyown, toba$&;‘6possesi; i;o c&r& AS %ltih . Fromm.has written, “When lOVe is &Per&&d in the mode of hating, it implies confiniiig, lmpnsoru’ng or controlling the object

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one ‘loves’. Itis strangling, deadening, sufftiatlng, killing, not life-giving. What people call love is mostly a misuse of &t&word, in order to hide the reality of their not lo\iing.” N Wilma did not love Robert. She wanted to have Robert, to own him, because she really loved Wilmaand she wanted Robert to\ love Wilma too. Pare& can manifest that same kind of selfcenteredness in relation to-their children. The &lid becomes an extension of the self. But when the child is. ot@an extension-of the self, what is called Parental love becomes something other than and less than. certainlv different from. love. God Ioves without quest& absolutelv. f&d because He loves absolutely, He suffers: when we Suffer because we love, we are’ c’losest to God: we experience love ourselves and others observe i - love -in US.. ’ ’ God is certainly foolish about us, like a fond father. And when ..,

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thxt-carries sperm froin the testicle to the penis. by Dan Andrew, M.D. f .Sexual partners of persons with genital Chlamydial infections ,-Directoi - UW Health and’ Safety i have themselves a high incidence of Chlamydial infections. This is A newly recognized sexually transmitted disease (STD) called in the range of 30 - 70%. Many of these contacts are asymptomatic. Chlamydia trachomatis, causes infections which are the most preTherec is a high co-existence of Chlamydia with other sexually., valent and among the most damaging of all sexually transmitted transmitted diseases. 1530% of heterosexual men with gonococ&l diseases. An estimated 34million Americans suffer from a Chlaurethritis have simultaneous urethral infection caused by.Chlamymydial infection each year. The. incidence-of these infections has doubled in England and Wales in the last decade. dia trachomatis and an even higher percenttige‘ of women with ’ Chlamydia trachomatis causes a variety of diseases. It causes an ,.. gonorrhca have Chlamydia trachomatis infection of t.he cervix.’ Because mucopurulent cervicitis (MCI+), nongonocbccal urethritis estimated 2.5 times more urethritis in men ,than does gonorrhoea (NGU), pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) -and epididymitis are (The urethra is the tube through which-urine is passed). Chlamydia also commonly associated with gonorrhoea, patients with these is also responsible for approximately 250,000 cases’ of acute infec* tion of the’epididlmis seen each year in the United States. (The syndromesshould also receive treatment effective against gonococ_ cal infection. epididymis is the tube that carries sperm from the testicle to the Because contacts of people’with syndromesassociated with Chlapenis). mydia may be-asymptomatic, individuals exposed through sexual’ Chlamydial infectii)ns among’womeu are more important. M.ost contact within 30 days of the onset of any of the above mentioned are asymptomatic (6~. withqut symptoms) in women, but do cause syndromes -should be evaluated for STD and treated for pre. diseases such as cervicitis and acute pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Chlamydia accounts for 250,000 - 500,000 cases of PlD in isumptive Chlamydial infection.. the United States each year. These infections, in addition tp infecFor some other reasons, women and heterosexual men with tions of the Fallopian tube &used by .Chlamydia trachomatis, confirmed gonorrhoea infections as well as sex partners of members of both of these groups are often treated with an antimicrobial contribute to an increasing number of women having ectopic pregnancy or involuntary infertiiity. that against . 1.. ~ --. 1. regimen . . .-is effective! . . . both gono,rrhoea and Chlamydia Each-year more than 155,000 infants are born in-the United . frachomatis !nIection. To summarize, we are qow faced with 4 very prevalent. and States to Chlamydial infected mothers. These newborns areat high’. potentia1ly ,damaging newly recognized sexually trausmitted disrisk of developing conj’unctivitis (inflammation of the eyes), p&t-. -ease called Chlamydia trachom&is. lt is frequently asymptomatic, monia, and more likely to develop ear infections &d bronchiolitis. Chlamydiae are unique micro-organisms whose specific propertherefore carried by unsuspetiting people, and it is frequently’asso1 emissions just because Onta, To the editor I ties have been delineated largely in the last two decades. They are ciated with other sex,ually transmitted diseases. _-. , rio Hydro produces 30%.of On? Like Chris Jinot, (Iinprint, It is; therefore, important for patients to clearly understand that classified as bacteria, but share propertics with viruses and bacteria.> tario’s SOZ. Unfortunately, November 29) I am also opthat deduction, damaged the For this reason, they are diffidult to identify and they are not as I they must take medication according to schedule. This included the posed to nuclear power for endosage, timing, and length of time of the prescription. This is to be credibility .of an otherwise ‘susceptible to many antibiotics. vironmental’reasans. . strictly followed; despite abatement of symptoms. sound argument. Genital infection- rates due to Chlamydia trachomatis are inverHowever, he should not conThe doctor, should be notified if there is difficulty with the ’ elude that nuclear reactors Mike Thomas sely related to age and positively @related with the number ofsex 4A S.D. Eng. medication, for example in regard to side effects, ,or if there -gre contribute to sulphur dioxide partners, Sexually active women under 20 years of age have Chlacontinued or ,worsened* symptoms. A follow. up and test of cure is mydia infection rates 2-3 times higher than those for women over 20 KAOS years of age, and- the rates for women 20-29are higher than those of sometimes indicatedThe patient shduld’absta’iii from sexual a’ciivity until ,medi&ti& ” At UW this fall more than women 30 years of age and over. Similarly, the, rates for urethral ways. Henry Casper and1 Dan -infection among teenage males are higher than those for adults. is completed for both the patient and the j#lrtner. If this’is not 4w KAOS agents from the ViGyokery won ‘$75 each for elimRisk of infection increases with the number of sex partners. Most . possible, the patient should use condoms, until treatment . .lfages;,using only a photograph’ mating the most agents. Each , c IS corn-. pleted. of their assignment, &tempted eliminated I1 people. women with cervical Chlamydial infection, most homoiexualmen ’ Sexual activity should be stopped immediately if the same or to track him/her down while Jit Bose won $SO for the most with Chlamydial infection, and asamany as 30% of heterosexual other sexually transmittedsymptoms recur, and the patient should trying to remain anonymous. In original elimination. He was in men with Chlamydial .urethritiS have few or no symptoms. These return to the doctor or clinic with the sex partner. are three ,more Chlamydial associated syndromes common among this game, once’ a vi,ctim has downtown Toronto in the Ea_ A way of preventing sexually transmitted diseases including women: (1) Muco-purulent cervicitis (MPC); (2) Urethral syn-been symbolically shot with a--ton’s Center when he spotted Chlamydial infection is to regularly use barrier methods of contrasoft rubber dait, he surrenders his assignment.‘ After trailing drome orurethritis; and (3) Pelvic inflammatory disease.(PlD); The ception, particularly condoms., his assignment to his assasin. his, victim for -three hours Jit first, MPC, produces, no,symptoms in most women, but may pro’ Realize that the risk of Chlamydial infection intireases when, The object of the.,game was to boarded a-bus to Waterloo with duce a foul ‘smehing or. staining or itchy v,aginaI ditiharge. ;The multiple partners are involved: be the last person left and win second, the urethral syndrome or urethritis, .eauses lower abdomhim and.sat beside him. Just as The results of untreated Chlamydial infection include-infertility, inal pain. It frequently leads to sterility due to subsequent scarring \ the grand prize of %3qO.O0. they approached the city it was . of the fallopian tubes. ectopic pregnancy and newborn -infant illness; ’ This term the winners were :. game over. ’ Even if medication is taken strictly according- to instructions, -There are two Chlamydia associatedsyndromes common in men: ’ - Shawn MaIall$ won $300 for -Next term KAOS is going * Chf&myd:lal infections may reeur.&fter treatmerit‘is completed. This -.nongonococcal urethritis, .and aoute epididymal orchitis. The being the last perS~n~t0 remain . &npus-wi;de and the Brand former is an Inflammation of the inside of the peni; with pain on may be due to resistauce of Chl,amydia trachomatisto,theantibiotic .’ *_ active. . prize wiI1‘ be ,a trip for two to pass,ing urine, the seFond.-is,,a swollen a,@ painful-t~st,ic~~..~d:tu~~ -. ;,u@,, or may be, due to t,heie,~e~~iipn,.froi5I one’s partner- ...,,_ I - Second prize was. split two : Florida. “‘I. - :- .’ .1. ,J,

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by Patil Done Imprint staff . F Love and Rockets -brought their own distinctive brand of heavy metal to Fed Hall 0i7. November 30. Playing before a packed house of adoring fans, they proved once and for all that their musical roots lay not in the dark beauty of Joy .Division and the Birthday Party but in the bloated excesses of the likes of‘Led Zepplin, Deep.Purple and early Pink Floyd. -Like men on quaaludes, the band played with neither intensity nor conviction.. This translated into an.audience which. was quiet hardcore Bauhaus fans and unresponsive; and the little girls staring raptly at Daniel Ash’s gaunt frame and high cheekbonesex. cepted. The crowd w&s only raised out of its

band Registered _ right). Photos by Bubba Washinston

lethargy by Go, the Tones On Tail hit and Ball At least flashpots and a dry ice machine of Confusion, their own unbearable castra‘might have relieved the boredomlof the lacktion of the Temptations classic. _ lustre performance. Visually, the band was even less’appealing Registered Trademark, a _ local band, than their music, with David Jay and Daniel opened the show and they were an inappropAsh standing, almost unmoving, at the front riate choice. Their brand of late-70s mod-rock of the stage while Kevin Haskins bashed away, a, la Jam was a real contrast to the repetitious monotonously at his Simmons synth-drum fare served up by L & R. Their set, a-mix of kit. originals and covers, showed good pacing and With both the music and the visuals being a marked improvement over some of their sorely lacking, it was time to listen clo’sely to - past shows. . the lyrics in an attempt to salvage some sort of for the band: Again, Love and Oh well, once the commercial viability of ._...respectability Rockets were found to be lacking. The band ,Love and Rockets has disappeared they can resorts to platitudes such as “Don’t take it all always form under a new name, release too seriously” as a pale substitute for intellecanother. bad cover version of a classic song tualor emotional content. and make a few bucks in the process. ’ , /

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\ . Ike and Tina Turner), Soke by Doug Tait’ way through the crowd carrying his guitar and greeting paRichardson (former John ‘Imprint staff Maya11 band member), John Whats this, rockabilly at a trons. “Hey how you feeling Gayden, Abbe Lock, Gab blues, concert? tonight. Good to,see ya man,” Fleming and Hugh Williams, That’s exactly what the Albert said, as he passed by got a chance to play some packed,house heard at the Altables. A lot of people didn’t solos. They warmed up the - bert Collins show last Thursrecognize the man; then as he crowd by delivering some day at the Canadian Legion. passed by a table full of guys great solos on the sax, The rockabilly was played by building a pyramid out of beer trumpet and, unfortunately, a trio named The Hawk Shop cups; they all rose simultanean inaudible organ solo, due (two of the guys used to play ously yelling “Albert.” to sound problems. with Ronnie Hawkins). Their The man stopped in his Suddenly the place started set, despite some sound probtracks gave a wave and a to sound like that sickening lems, featured some good guismile then went or-i his way. on’T.V. with the tar work from vocalist John Yes, Albert Collins is a j commercial hockey player. “Albert, AlLewis. A few covers of old down to earth guy, no pretenbert,” the crowd yelled as he rockabilly -’ tunes put the tious rock star bullshit here, took the stage. crowd in high spirits before he’s just one of the boys. From then on Collins disviewing the master. * ’ Later on, the Icebreakers played his guitar magic, . During the ,break; Albert . took the stage minus Albert. Collins made his entrance via * The six-man band, consisting pounding out solo after solo. He played a lot of old blues the front door. He made his of Leon Blue .I(who played.with

guitar *ma3ic

istandards like Caledonia and some of his more famous .material such as Frosty. He even took a walk around the hall, sitting at differe-nt tables, all the while wailing on hisguitar as the band kept playing up on the stage.

Handel’s

If there was a problem with this concert, it was the sound. At. times you couldn’t hear the band as a whole, but the audience didrr’t seem to care. Alb&t’s Texas-style blues guitar and magnetic stage presence compensated for the sound

Messiah

#difficulties. ~ Last Thursday’s sho.w was ’ the Southern Ontario Blues Association’s last show untili the new year. Look forward to some more “bad ass” blues next season.

uplifting

range of notes for great the Messiah, which speaks of by Jo-Anne Longley lengths with seeming ease. the resurrection of Christ and ’ Imprint staff Heppner, though less expethe rule of God, .passed alThe ten minute ovation for rienced than his contempprmost as a whisper. The aulast weekend’s performance aries of the evening, matched of Handel’s Messiah by the Kdience, which traditionally with Bennet and the result stands up for the chorus, al-. W Philharmonic Choir, four most missed their cue. It guest soloists, members of was the same‘as Relyea’s duet with the trumbet. the K-W Symphony Orchesseemed that the members of tra, proved the evening was’a Soprano Heidi Geddert the orchestra played with their hearts on their sleeves, success. The manner in delivered every note with clarity and emotion. Deddert while the choir -kept their which they achieved this played the part and believed credit was- unexpected, yet hearts too much from view. ’ in it, as ‘did Relyea and delightully enjoyable. The Hallelujah Chorus, as . The third part of the perfor‘mance, which speaks of the redemption of the world I _ > through faith inChrist proved to be the most vibrant and energetic part of the evening. It was a true grand finale from start to finish which made the Centre in the Square come alive and which brought the ovation. . ’ The energy, volume a-nd vaBennet. Heppner, however,._ expressed, is famous. One riation of soloist bass Gary seemed t.o be lacking in some . , expects’ to hear about the reRelyea matched ’ superbly quality or another, seeming-a surrection and the light of God and the spreading of that with the trumpet playing prolittle bland and unamused. wess of that section’s soloist. t , light. The third part speaks of The first and second parts \ hope, of the-worlds This parlay between the two* redempcame across as, at times, dull. tion. Perhaps in such dire caused the ‘heart to ,pound The orchestra* often overpoand the spine-to tingle. times with S.D.I., famines wered the choir, under the di- here and there and general The voices of tenor Ben rection of Howard Dyck. As a I .disruption everywhere, the Heppner and mezzo-soprano result, the power and beauty performance of the Messiah Linda Bennet, executing the of Handel’s voice went at only voice duet of the evenshould concentrate more on I( virtually unnoticed. the latter part, expressing ing’s performance, rang ; times, The Hallelujah Chorus, one , hope and our virtuaf re:‘ strong and true. Bennett’s of. the most famed pieces of demption. d voice ’ carried well, holtlihg a

Hallelujah chorus coines up short/

Albert1Collins:

The Pmbassador ,

of Blues \

,,,

Siouxsie

and the Banshees Cities in Dust Polygram

by Chris Wodskoul Imprint staff The first lady of death, decay and doom is ‘back with a vengeance. Cities in Dust, Siouxie and the Banshee’snew fourtrack E.P.; isn’t half as good as the rich intensity Siouxie & Se;erin & Co., achieved on their classic singles Christine and Spellbound, but it is a healthy move away from the dank, tuneless gloom that prevailed on their last album, Hyaena: Cities In Dust, apparently inspired by a trip to the ruins of , Pompeii, uses the band’s greatest asset, Siouxie Sious’s riveting voice, to its full potential for the first time in years. Her passionately mournful death howl transports the listener to a vivid re-enactment of Pompeii’s dying moments. But instead of degenerating into the gratuitious morbidity which has marred so much of their previous work, the focus is on the sad irony of the destruction of a great human civilization in seconds in one of their best and least oblique lyrics. If titles mean anything, then at first glance it would seem that Quarter-drawing of the Dog is a return to their excessively rancid imagery. From the bubbling maelstrom of bass and guitar at the outset, the suspicions appear to be confirmed, but then a positively bright synth riff breaks into the fore which is almost twee in its cheerfulness (yes, cheerfulness), showing that somewhere on their dark journeys, they seem to have . picked up a sense of humour. They might never make another Christine, but as long as Siouxie & The Banshees continue to make records of the calibre of Cities In Dust, I don’t think anyone, can complain. Sleeping

Bag Records’ Greatest Mixers Various Artists Johnny The Fox Tricky Tee Tonight Hanson & Davis

Collection ,

Sleepin,g Bag/Fresh Records by Paul Done Imprint staff The dance-music market is one which remains virtually unknown to most record buyers. It is a market where club playlists and DJ record pools rule supreme. The one constant in the dance music market is change: the length of a record’s life is measured in weeks rather than months and most DJ’s would retch at the though of playing a record which is three months old. One of the finest dance-music labels of the last few years has been New York’s Sleeping Bag Records, which at one time or another has distributed records by Scottish funksters APB and Bonzo Goes To Washington, a collaboration between FunkaShadowfax Watercourse Way Windham-Hill Records (1975) Reissue by Peter Lawson ’ Imprint staff The joy of listening to another Shadowfax album lasted until the needle pressed the vinyl and the notes on the album were heard. Watercourse Way, a reissue from 1975, lacks the ’ splendour of The Dreams of Children (Shadowfax 1984) which delights the ear. The music on Watercourse Way is void of the varied textures, instruments and the melodic joy that marks the Shadowfax’ of the 80s. The first two cuts, The Shape of a Word and Linear Dance, written by guitarist G.E. Stinson, are riddled with the cliches of “acid rock”, “progressive rock” or “fusion” (your pick). Lengthy, jagged guitar solos pierce through these songs and leave little impression. A song such as Petit Aubade sounds like a study excercise of Renaissance music. the sound is pleasant but not fresh. The album gains respectability as it progresses, with the concluding songs, Watercourse Way and Songfor My Brother, being the best moments. Watercoursti Way *begins with a spunky rhythm as a textural base for a woodwind topping, then it shifts to a guitar and congo drums duo, and then returns to the woodwind ensemble. A little redundant at the start, Song for My Brother blossoms into

delic bassman Bootsy Collins and Talking Head Jerry Harrison. The Sleeping Bag Records’ Great&t Mixers Collection is the first compilation that Sleeping Bag has released and it contains a sampling of their releases from their 1981 debut Go Bang to Your Life by Konk, possibly their biggest hit to date. As the title indicates, the stars of the album are the mixers the likes of Francois Kevorkian (who did the fabulous New York mix of This Charming Man) and Mark Kamins, who produced Madonna while she was still only big on the dancefloors. As if to empasize the effect mixers can have on songs, two different versions of Weekend by Class Action, are included. It is a pretty fine record with the best tracks being Need Somebody New by Jamaica Girls and the aforementioned Your Life; a dense mix of latin rhythms and New York funk. Johnny The Fox by Tricky Tee and Tonight (Love Will Make it Allright) by Hanson & Davis are the two latest releases from Sleeping Bag and they maintain the high quality .associated with this label. Johnny The Fox offers a new twist on the old rap theme. It takes the usual rap and fuses it with the heavy percussion and

a screaming guitar aria which a good motif was not resolved is a good finish to an unbalor developed and, instead, anced album. was convoluted or dragged The album does not warout. Check out the Shadowrant the two finger gag award fax albums issues in the 80s but it does not equal the and leave the ‘75 reissues for music being currently perthe historians. formed by Shadowfax. Often .*lrJr***************************** for the Week Ending g :: Top Ten Records/Tapes * November 29, 1985 * f 1. Depeche Mode Catchina UD With . . ____ C E 2. Echo & The Bunnymen - Song to Lear; an2 Sing * N 3. Artists United Against Apartheid Sun City $: t 4. Pete Townsend .White City N * 5. Clash Cut the Crap * c 6. Sade Promise X +t 7. Starship Knee Deep in the Hoopla N g 8. Ministry All Day (EP) c 9. Spandau Ballet x The Singles Collection * 10. Cult Love g - Just Arrived * * Don’t Dance With Strangers (EP) N * 1. Annabella $ 2. Husker Du Flip Your Wig f + 3. Various Artists Music Sampler of the State of N

pounding bass shake of Go-Go emerging with a great sound which manages to free itself from the usual rap cliches. On the other hand, Tonight rests solidly in the mainstream of N.Y funk with its sparse instrumentation, heavy sequencer lines and intense vocals. Nice groove. Green On Red No Free Lunch Mercury (Import ) by Tim Perlich Of all the groups that have recently forsaken. past images and hopped the first boxcar to Nashville, (or Athens), Green On Red’s change-over has got to be the ugliest yet. It is truly unfortunate for a group who showed so much promise on their garage-inflenced debut to have sunk so low. No -Free Lunch represents some of the most horrific displays of pseudo-country music ever committed to vinyl. The over-exaggerated southern drawls, gratuitous references to “dusty roads” and “train tracks”, as well as chord progressions lifted directly from a Flying Burrito Brothers’ songbook, might be seen as parody if the songs were at all humourous - they’re not. The saddest *part of all is I don’t think they realize how ridiculous they sound. This cartoon stereotype of the rural American persona could be excused in part because of ignorance, had they been European. However, they’re from California and have the musical ability to accomplish something far more substantial than make feeble attempts at covers, Their own songs are so ruthlessly insipid that they just can’t be taken seriously: .. . “Heading down a dusty road / Looking for a horny toad.” (Time Ain’t Nothing). I’m sure Yosemite Sam could come up with something a little less trite . . _.the American Eagle on the cover should have .tippedAme otf.

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Indochina in the 5Os, is captured and imprisoned thezre for three years, and la ter turns up in Algeria where h(e is ‘1“ one 01 me leaaers in a military plot to subvert Presiden’t de

B-Ball Warriors lose to Stanford but ranked ‘#l by Steve Hayman Imprint staff Last weekend was one of extremes for the Warrior basketball team, when they participated in U of T’s Can-Am Challenge Tournament. First, they beat an American Division 1 team, something they haven’t done in ten years. Second, they were crushed by a Division 1 school in their worst defeat ever. Finally, on Monday, the team was ranked number one in Canada by CIAU. Kind of intersting. Toronto’s tournament followed an unusual format. Two Canadian school played two American schools, with tournament standings determine on a country vs. country basis. Sort of like Rocky IV. Division I is the top classification for Amercian schools. Waterloo and Toronto each played American U.. of Washington D.C., and Stanford, of Palo Alto, California. In the tournament’s opening game, Waterloo solidly defeated Amercian U. 100-89. Undoubtedly a tremendous confidence builder this early in the season, the game was clearly a delight for McCrae. “An outstanding game. We played a wonderful first half, but they hit six points in the last minute to take a 47-44 halftime lead. That took the wind out of our saild. We down eight early in the second half, and it looked like they were rolling over us, but we actually wore them out, we had them in trouble.” ’ McCrae says of American U.: “They were surprised. They had nobody ,who could handle Randy Norris - when they doubled on him, Paul Boyce filled in with jump shots. And our guards handled

the pressure well.” And the Warriors went on to win by Il. Obviously Stanford was in a different league than the other three schools, whomping the Warriors 112-72. As McCrae says, “It’s almost impossible.for a team of our calibre to play two Division 1 schools on consecutive days. We just don’t have the juice.” “Stanfords a big, solid team. People who follow basketball will remember Tom Davis who coached Boston College to the NCAA final 8 a few years ago. Now that he’s at Stanford they’ll finish in the top 2 or 3 of their league. But they don’t have a dominant big man,” McCrae remarked. Is there any way we could ‘have beaten Stanford? “Well, 1 was shocked by how much they could score off their pass and fast break. If we could get them to a half court game . .. but we couldn’t”, said McCrae. Toronto also got whomped by Stanford, but managed to beat American by two points in double OT. Toronto thinks big - their two tournaments this term have been the “Canadian National Invitational Tournament” and the“Can-Am Challenge”. In spite of all this, the Blues fans don’t seem to be responding to the keenness of their tournament organizers. The Can-Am Challenge was set up partly ,as a means to bypass strict NCAA rules on number of games played. If the two Amercian schools had played each other, the game would have counted as one of the 28 they’re allowed to play in a year. But international games are outside this scope. Kind of a strange format. “The format had no meaning to any of the players. We know we finished second”, McCrae analyzed. It remains to be seen if this tournament will be

around next year. What’s ahead .The team breaks now until the Ryerson tournament in Toronto. On Friday December 27, the Warriors play McGill at 9:00 pm. Other opening round games include Toronto-Victoria, McMasterPEI and Ryerson-Guelph. Watch for the Waterloo-Victoria final. Unfortunately, all teams will have to pIay after a long pre-Christmas layoff that may make some of the results less than informative. the next home game is Saturday Jan 4 against Toronto Estonia, a strong senior team that beat the Warriors 89-78 earlier, but Waterloo is now much improved. The regular season begins shortly thereafter. The Rankings 1) W,aterloo 2) Saskatchewan 3) St. F.X 4) Calgary 5) Victoria The Vikings dropped out of first after a pair of losses last weekend. A Look Back After a somewhat sluggish start, the Warriors are now playing some good ball. “We’ve capped off a satisfactory pre-season with much improved ball the last 2 weekends”, a happy McCrae said. The Warriors are 9-4 on the preseason, but 7-O against Canadian universities, the only competition that really matters. How long can they stay in first place? Up to and including the final? I think so. It’s going to be an exciting season. See you at the PAC.

Best, team in ten years:

Squas 1 team places second With it’s strongest squad of ‘the past 10 years, Waterloo’s squash team challenged number one ranked Western this weekend, and finished three ,points behind in second place.In the best match of the tournament, Western narrowly defeated the Warriors 4-2. UW entered the tournament without the’services of their number one player Mike Costigan. This forced every player to move up one position. Rob Bowder played ,in the -top spot and defeated WLU and McMaster 30. In his match against Guelph’s Ross Harvey, a Canadian Raquetball star, Bowder lost his first two games only to come back and defeat Harvey, who defaulted from fatigue after losing the second and third games. Western’s number one Glenn Murray defeated Bowder in three closely contested games. Ed Crymble, Waterloo’s second, was suffering from a heavy cold, and was disappointing in his loss to Western’s Lahey and Guelph’s ,Anderson 3-O. He later redeemed some points by defeating WLU and McMaster 3-O. ’ Warrior’s number three and four positions filled by Jamie Allen and Ron Hurst respectively, won three of their four matches, losing only to West-

ern. Allen started strongly, winning the first game, but Western’s experienced Jim Bacon finally out-manouvered him in a tough 3- 1 match, giving the Mustangs the deciding points. Waterloo’s number five player John Curran and number six Rob Ayer had perfect records winning all four matches over their Western, WLU, Guelph and McMaster opponents. John Curran defeated Western’s powerful Scott Leggat 3-O in an excellent display of intelligent squash. Leggat had earlier won the “B” Division of the Canadian lnterUniversity Championships in Otto ber and is a former U.S. Junior Champion. Sophomore Rob Ayer showed a great determination in winning over Western’s smooth-stroking David Coons in a marathon match, 32. Ayer hung on to win the fifth game 10-8. Saturday represented the first time in recent years that the OUAA Champions, Western, have lost a match to Waterloo. * It gave great encouragement to the Warrior coaching staff, who think that Waterloo has an excellent chance of finishing with a gold or silver medal in the OUAA team championships in January 1986.

_ - -- - -----

The team is currently in fir& place with a 9-2-l record.- Warriors selected for the OUAA West All-Star Team.

Peter Croise,

Dave Cole, Andrew

Smith and Steve Linesman were Photo by Satinder Sahota

RefundsFree Ice Time There is limited FREE ice time for Campus Recreation teams available on a first come first serve basis the week of January 6-12 only. Sign up immediately at PAC reception desk. \

Ball Hockey Highlights The fall ‘85 hockey season is now a thing of the past and here are its final:outcomes and some of the term’s highlights. The four Divisional Champions are as: follows: A Division: Bombers, 5-3 over Who Cares; B Division: Screaming Stemmers, 5-2 over SJC Ballers; C Division: Licence to Kill, 14-2 over 9 Whops & 2 White Guys; D Division: SJC Gumbeys, 5-2 over South E-Rotits. Congratulations to all the champions.

To all competitive teams (men’s and women’s basketball, men’s and women’s vollyeball, hockey and ball hockey): please come and pick up your performance deposit refund vouchers-from the PAC receptionist and take your voucher to the cashier’s office in Needles Hall and cash it in. Note: All refund vouchers must be picked up by the end of this term.

Referee’s Pay Attention all hockey, ball hockey and basketball referees. Your pay can be picked up at 3:00 p.m. at the cashier’s office, Needles Hall, on Friday, December 13.

Sky Diving. Club

On January 9, 1’986, UW’s SkydrvmgClub will have their first organizational meeting of the new year. Approximately 30 firsttime jumpers make their first leap from 3,000 feet every term. Trips to Grand Bend are often arranged for jumping weekends. The Januarv 9th meeting will take mace in CC 113 at 5:30 pm.

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by Mary Melo and Nancy Massey Photos by Simon Wheeler With the new craze over health and fitness it has come to our attention that diet centers and diet pills have become predominant in-our society. Contrary to popular-belief, there is still-the good old fashioned way of trying to get in shape. Our typical Rec. Buff (demonstrated in the photos)-& a perfect example of fitness in the eighties. We decided to prove that Campus Recreation provides fitness for everyone without having to empty your bank accounts. Through Campus Recreation you too can be transformed (as was our Campus Rec. Buff). Our candidate started off being a little out of shape, but by the time she took advantage of all Campus Recreation had to offer, . ..Well. the pictures speak for themselves. -

,’ Imprint,

Friday

_ December

’

6, 1985

As she makes her way into the gym all her _ dreams_ and _ aspirations of being #l on the Campus Ret competitive teams begins to come true.

; As a-treat for all the hard work she has done, our Rec. Buff indulges in a nice cool swim in the pool.

As her strength begins to improve, becoming an all-round athlete.

she starts to fantasize

about

Our Rec. Buff has shown Campus Rec. can do for you. So let’s get fit through Campus Rec. Make sure to pick up a winter calendar.

At 7:00 am. our Rec. Buff began to work on her new image. Although determined, there are some things the body cannot do.

Coming back down to earth, our Campus Rec. Buff realizes she will have to work hard to reach her goals.

Athletes _-

The

Week

Cindy Poag Athena Basketball Cmdy is being commended for her outstanding performance in both the league game against Western last week and in the Tait McKenzie Basketab11 Ciassic at York this past weekend. Cindy played excellent basketball throughout the tournamnent. She was a consistent point-getter, scoring a total of 34 points over the weekend. Dave Ambrose

Volleyball

Dave played a big part in the Warrior’s tournament victory in Guelph this past weekend. He hit 28 kills‘in the semi-finals which led the team to a 15-l 1 win over the Western Mustangs. -

Contiorclia University Graduate Fellowships*

_ Why Times Square The New York Tim

Value: $6,500 to $10,000 Application deadline: February I,1986 Announcement of winners: April I,1986 Commencement of tenure: September 1986 or January 1987

tower on Times Square display was set off at m forAtra;elers and revelers alike on every New Year’s Eve.

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* Includes the David J. Azrieli Graduate RWwship, the Stanley G. French Graduate Fisllowship, the John W O’Brien Graduate ’ IWnwhip,. and the Alcan Doctoral K&wship in Commerce and Administration. ’

’

FRIDAY DECEMEBR \

1030 am., in I-iH 280. Student led services. Sermons mostly by Chaplain Graham E. Morley.

nFPEMRI=R YL--wLI\

Christian

Worship

on campus:

Fed Buses to London &Toronto on Dec. 13/85 has been cancelled. H the 2 people who purchased tickets would come in to the Fed Office, we wil make suitable arrangements for your trip. Gord cor@ct

Odrowskk old friend

in Jil

tometry? 886 -0060.

Question: pretends brother,isin~andandata

I love

and what’s share

curly an

coat! Chrismas. and

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had you and other the

a great term baby - I did. diqn’t see much though. Well, call me in T.O. we’l do lunch at Gatherinas or some nauseatingly trendy y.mrspot. Luv, Big S. with the smile.

To mom: Thanks for all the advice, goodtimes and hippie talk this term. Cherry incense and fish without bicycles; Fn a!! Don’t go to co-op. You wo’t be able to fid your bed. At least you have a path cleared for you here. Great x-mas babes: Come back ready for another groovy term. Remember. Anthro at nine-thirtv! Wake me up D&ore you take a -shower! Sincerely, luv and all-that crap, Daughter. Hosebags; work term, Christmas

G.H.B. -thanks a good work Best Wishes,

for term, I.R.S.

Infrarouge: coming P.S. Wil the fe@

One

Viux.

being Merry

damn up on the 14th! send the cheque s@tement. M&&o

Here’s to candles

3 a.m. firecracken manaues.

and

Laura. card, Love &o. Lisa. Noonan, snowwomer! Thou h they ripe, 9 or them didn’t say we Glen (The you.spending wil be fireplaces,slopes in January!

Shirk

were could to were

a grrat back your

friend. C h. nstmas

Have and

time Can’t wait! (eh) as soon as I aet amor. apple sets”

pie

magic) Meny

Laurie: joly, type, rol in poets)

at and me

Christmas! Frosty the happy souls. the time was the snowl. (We Big Chil .

Womanizer) Hauer. Christmas?!? A had in Quebec!!! & more! Jab!Jab!

Last Murdoch president. “Math-hole Sorry

terribly

term!

Medical 9OC

*Noonan. Laurie. What’s of a fashion risk? Knee pilgrim wear and a hockey is costing us a fortune. Figure Big Chil .

’

Resumes -and service.

- Paranoia worrying to luck on your

the high stick. it out

Same around always Stadium. phone

Dear ,contest)

HG & FM

Attention student Fully disgases.

Male seeking experienced 884.755?

Gotch

Maggie letters, pickup Typing. etc. years phone

that

Kin to 884- %

Frosh. unique in

all

seeking student rience 5?

Congratulations the recent Andre’ and Paula.

arrival Brian.

Gk What want? A: {;::I.

does every To become Congradulations

Horny health relationship(s). types of social . any needs pny

. i

luck,

How are hot time Saunas, Se ya

weeks Imprir%>as the newly elected This should hake President . . . Geek for any inconvenience. as

spelling Delivery

years

efficient Smith rates. 886-6

Typingon please

typing Corona Lakeshore

typing. 664-2105.

tinter: bedroom beginning return walk).

per area.

word processing if you book ahead). provided. Near $1 per doable-spaced, 8851353. wil

(24

Statistical experience. Nancy

theses, Math Also

and 576-790

turn copy

rates. Vilage. theses $5. “Free” 1976.

service, reasonable after 530

of Geek

with to I

Math good I am a give all Math cheap, wil see

in Rates you

typed rates.

Wil Also

do liaht junk-@ken

Right.

G If you

pregnancy, phone

movina

with Call

awaG.

Love during are troubled you have 5793990.

HOUSING available old

both single and at Conrad Grebel term, 1986. For more an application, contact of Students, at 885

and

both on at 746-4755.

one Albert

double, Call

$3do. Marita .b

*To sirblet. l-bedroom Waterloo Towers. ( 137?) W) one month free. Jan option to take lease. Call

apartmqnt University 86-Aug 86 Steve 746-0336.

room with Twenty min. ng. Jan-Apnl. or ext 2909.

summer Kitchen,

IE X T E N ‘D E .D I BOOK. STORE -HOURS

‘86

St.

Student house Westmount 0876. Serious. seeks

hltttne-fUllhf?store~llt,

to 20

Kitchener. phone’893378

two for MayHolly (IO iaundry Call

G and preferred.

phone, light to campus. per month.

Jerome’s

College

information.

Conquest’Mountain the ine.

sealed tires,

Tom& Phone

to Lundon Al 7460663.

drop is 0-k

PAS

‘86.

HOUSING

year co-q~ phoneGetzcdiect613

hubs, Dia

Cornpe

%ike, XC

bo&m Special&d GC982

to Friday:

9:00 am. - 500 pm. Daily

WE WILL BE OPEN ,EVENINGS

ridden

one condition. p.m.1

oak aurlhlg set, 5 gdestd, light finish, handsome. Excellent sell, -5.7424750.

4%radng Bowlelang. accumteretunl.wonderfulstweage IiJn. Great gift -1685 Atiicoken.

month,

5:00 to 1O:OOpm.

JanuarQ 9th

5:00 to 8:00 pm.

Saturday January 11th

10:00 to LOO pm

ask

UNIVERSITY

OF WATERLOO

IBOOK STORE

Don round, and Must

Beatiul only Ontario

fighc

$495. Pm-

P.ii 1co.

EQX

Appkucompatiblecornputerwith64k, cd.

busiriess, ah avaibbk at 8846749.

and 746

card

Monitor. $1,000

2 disc

drives

M best offer. card, $200. Call

with

and and

Male

printer Eddii

Typ%WiklBM.sl+Xbk~ Qpewikr interested

in phone

exc&ent 74665

Co&lion.

14.

electric. New:

typewriter, Ii t?xixss~of

for

upper

LOST

S%wandgiasscolouredbiacektlostat Fed Hall on pieasecontactlizat746-0444.lthasa lot d sentimental

Friday.

Nov. value.

22.

if found.

Reward

giver!

WANlED Want teaching experience whileearning exba money? Craft instructors required by leading needlecraft company. Craft experience heipful but not necessary. Fkxibk hours, generous commision. For interview, call Maryann. ?42-f#13.

JANUARY STATIONARY

- SPECIALS.

Black

or Gold

. . . Reg.

Price

$2.49

Sale

Price

$2.29

Sale

Price

$1.25

Sale Price

$1.75

Sale Price

$1.75

Sal& Price

$3.89

U of W Crested Spiral Notebook Reg.

Price

$1.55

U of W Crested Clipboard Price

$3.45

200 SHEET REFILL Reg.

Price

$2.15

400 SHEET REFILL Reg. .Price

$4.15,

SHAEFER 5 m.m. MECHANICAL

only)

The Open-Door Gift Shop will be open Mondy \Friday, 9:00 am. to 5100 pm.

for

pcs, 46. very solid condition. --

durin#aJa-$$6.

(This Term use the’ Main Entrance

so Lists

bath,

Reg.

January 7th and 8th

Suzue

Stumpjumper brakes, Sugino

U of W Crested Binder

Monday

Norco’s deraiiers,

bracket

WANIED

wanted

students

C2-

zBo.~rd.btsdsdhare:games

bed&m Erb cdl

3045.

tel funnyjokes 220 ctass.

Suntour

and

components. Only its truely in impecabie newforbetween$7Ooand@OO.Cal! 5763008 (before andmakemeaseri&oJfer.

to 746-

grad student to share in 2 (Westmount &

simular) rtment

term.

atCmnksetWdotheFtOpd~ii~

non-

f&n next

st;ifters

ample from from utilities

May&g

for Rent: 6 May-Sept 85. @JOO/ term,

AccomodaUon

share one furnished. Towers).

cable, walk $175

f&her 1.

excenent condit.ion. $?OO.askinu:~l2O~lfinterrded.caU8852083 female

shifts

FOR SALE 1985 too

apartment, bus route to UW. swimming pool, sauna, $210/ indoor parking available, and Vii phone no. 745 ask for Ron.

(or

cias evening

One(1)Chem22OPmf.Mustbeabkto speak write clearly and Contact present Chem 080.1030 -113Oa.m.

wanted. Jan to April master bedroom in Sunnydale house. per month. phone 746-

wanted,

same

and

For

on &eke&s Kitdlener

I to

apartment Cdumbia parking

area,

Nice

needed

house available

-I

scheduk. Midnite avaihble.AppraK3Oto35hoursper ;&T&y=

two-bedroom Jan term. Cl “r 575/ m. T” ruck move to -Ottawa on or 2 1 St. Brian or Helen:

for downtown(s). for 20th 237-3911.

Smith-Corona

AVAILABLE for house.

May

I-=

f3enibk shifts to act-

ave. with

Townhouse for summer ‘86 with pool. Directly behind Parkdale plaza. 5 min. bike ride from UW. Furnished. washer, dryer, 3 bedroom. phone 8854955. Furnished cookin& No pa 886-9366

a small truck. Jeff 8842831.

86,

townhouse. Call 8865577.

BummerAccomodations.Cheap!Ckan and roomy five bedroom house, parking. Large outdoor patio kitchen. Fifteen minute walk Laurier. $148/ month/ room plus (price negotiable). Lease available E5xer in September. Telephone

bedroom bakony, mo., Westmount A8779

-.n

One bedroom available in a townhouse with three other students, Jan‘I. Bedroom furniture available, $1% / month plus utilities. Albert street, 20-25 minute walk. 746-1044, Barbara or Donna.

Male roommate needed to bedroom apartment. partly 137 University Ave (Waterloo Call 746-0569.

PI-

Jeromes Coilege winter ‘86. For Frank O‘Connorat

UW.

in Ottawa?

Roommate

?A,,--

term/

bedroom from

Female roommate ‘86. Unfurnished completely furnished $125 plus utilities 8518.

winter in a beautiful Victorian 1 room available for female. to Waterloo Square, $180/ month. G dryer. phone Donna or Carol

_ Room_avai@le Rooms beautiful

bus 300

Ottawa - Jan-Ap ‘86 - looking for female to share townhouse with 3 others. Bedroom furnished. Full use d house. On excellent bus route to downtown Hall. Call collect using ,last name Peterson. 6 137442549.

rooms, are available for Spring and Eby. Dean Single,$l90,

Spend Mansion. Close Washer 885-0092.

p.m.

and CS courses? exam marks is computer science you personal and CS core otiable. I results. T Call Alan:

Joy

and Call

What am I noina to do? How can I be sure I am pre&ianc how should I tel my family. Can 1 continue in school, keep my job. Where can I obtain good medical care? Call Birthright 5793990. Peace, Season.

$99-s 18.

One roommate bedroom furnished August ‘86. Near min. from UW). k%ize3noker

close month.

Ottawa no lease! 4 bedrooms in 5 bedroom house on 2nd ave off of bank Close to downtown. $230 monthly plus utilities. Semi-furnished. Jan 1 (you can move in early) 613237-3320 after 6, 6 13726-2039 8 to 4.

The Birth Control Centre offers confidential and non-judgemental information and counselling on all . methods of birth control, planned and un lanned pregnancy, subfertility and S&s. Drop by CC206 or call ext. 2306 for an appointment.

We wish you the Christmas by an unplanned friend at Birth

576-88

dishwasher. utilities included Plaza 746-3825.

Clean, l25/

apartme?lt buses, available December (613)

St for

call

walk

Working

Spring

August minute

can

sublets:

avaiiabk Residence information

Avaibble

One available, anytime

fast, professi6nal computer, very call 886-3036

Rooms Men’s more 8848110

May-

House: 3 rooms available Washer + dryer.,On main r 160 each plus heat & utilities. St 578 1093.

Residence double, College information Eio&

accurate

manuscripts, a specialty.. photocopies.

Located sq. - 25 744(home).

available

3 large bedrooms, dryer plus all from Westmount

Super Janua route, Wellington

page.

do fast, Reasonable . Lakeshore

Can Type it! Essays, $1 per page. Resumes & deliver. phone 743Reports,

743-

hour Draft Seagram

apartment

Summer comfortable, Sam’s

double Call

John

Roommate needed for furnishe4 townhouse January. May stay summer Fall. Churchil St. (20 minute Leanne 8850836.

in Call

Furnish August, washer/ across

124. 75C

+ utilities. Waterloo Call

Summer: one or two roommates needed for 3 bedroom partialy furnished townhouse. May return winter 87. Back ard for summer sunning. 20 min walk bike ride. Call Leanne 885 r 5 min 0836.

of student typewriter. Vilage

day

__ Need Help The key understanding. grad, so instruction courses. uarantee 88 5-0836.

geek

To my fel ow homosapiens; Stew?If Gumby was Pokey, he would be like a horse. Stu. Call me when our kids are old enough, like 17. Peter&o n’t run around superglueing rhinestones on hard hats! JohnHaagen-Dazs forever!! Chris-with your guts, who needs the marines? (don’t answer). 0: eazy cum, eazy goo. Den.Beware, snow tyres leave scars! ShivaHave you tried Fresca on pantyshields? Pep.Hdd back more water. BruceGo easy on the Crisco. UewLeather jockstraps? I bet you like hand pup ts. DougStay away from the strobe Ii ts, please. TeeHere’s to the sound o BR flipping pa es over the phone. TotGWM, 5’ I I “, I6 8 Ibs, wishes to meet same, age unimportant. JASMocha-

your

(workj,7438901

SERVICES

and Jim on triptets, Niail, Love Aunt

Math-hole president

do page.

experience. Westmount

male. it badly. idea on

Bernadette of your Good

balcony. $1641 month just off King St next min walk from camws. 7111 ex: 491

and/or word processing. indefinitely. Punctuation checked. Fast, accurate arranged. Diane, 578

Experienced typist work, IBM Selectric. Close to Sunnydale Call 885-1863.

ya.

(remember

wil

Typing stored

page.

we get our end Love Pumpkin awaiting your

wil destroy me. Keep smiling exams - Chicken.

it’ kils. Mark-* let’s do it again CUL- When do we get And a special grin to Merry Christmas. Matthew

Secretary double-spaced

per

1 wL--~ wil do fast, papers on Reasonable area. phone

Merry Christmas Everyone! Especial y: Janette; Sue; Wendy; Lorraine; Scott; Paul; Steve; Don; Larry; Mike; Sheila; Dave; Tammy; Elaine; Vanessa; Lydia; Lenny; Donna; Mike J.; Maureen; Simon; Lee and the Boys; Jamie; Jack; Rob; Imprint staff and all my other close friends! Send my x-mas gifts to Oakvile, love Carol “Herb Tarlick * Fletcher. Kidney-Beans Leave the and good

although

mags, Llew’s circulation? else!

Quality

S.S. - Special thoughts for my special friend. Now that your feet are wet, finish climbing that mountain. Thanks for putting a huge smile on my face and in my heart all term. Love ya, M.

South 4, thanks for a fantastic term, I wouldn’t have made it without a group like you. To those of us returning, Oh Mama! the good times are going to continue. Merry Christmas to all, Love Mom. Conection: Steve Mathsoc .read Murdoch.”

Lisa, definition socks, This soon!!

Desperately Frustrated Wiling positions.

good

and

“matching were

(you Witch.

it was come from

you

torever,

TYPING

Ted and Greg. When do of 2A hugs and kisses? and Muffin. (Anxiously reply!)

~fi~~z~~~~~~;o~

Coop Have a good visit. Merry H.B.S.

Java Enjoyed sometime. online everyone B.

Blue Knight! Herzlichen Geburtstag, 22, wishing happiness and eyebrows up...always. When and how to celebrate? After Deutschland, your choice. 1’11 miss ou so much...just come home safely. Lo n Voyage...1 love you Shamaroon!!

Lots

Attention term. and fel ow

miss . .

Kmart for

kisses

Every Sunday,

poTARi\wiil

Cheesers of SD! Thanks for a great term, but lets have an even better one in January! To all those cheesers who are leaving us, come back & visit, we’l miss rdE7-a great x-mas! Love your major Hey “Pokey” of love “Gumby”.

FASS: the writers welcome all of FASS to our Christmas party Friday Dec. 13. Call Linda at 888-6913 or University extension 6331 for details.

Please

Holy Eucharist, 1230 p’m, Renison C&qe. Bible Study. Renison College, 10~00 pm.

To the girl in the choir, back row, 4th from the end, Alto section: I saw you Sunday night, and I would r&lly like to meet you. Call me -579-3 I 21 . Mark. P.S.Love your smile!

PERSONALS

DECEMBER

Holy Communion: (Anglican and Lutheran) 9:30 The Conrad ~&d Collme Choir _Carol singfor & 11:30 am., St. Bede’s Chapel, Renison College. everyone. Jake Willms will lead. Ail W~CO~, THURSDAY’DECEM&R 12 Lutheran Holy Communion WLu Seminary, 1215-l~00 pm., Modem Languages foyer. f amc watmrl-.RM:AI P--C-,& Plough. Y~=-wh chc\-. .* Keffer Chapel, Albert & Bricker Sts. 11:30 am. r~ubunnf-f~cyIUIl. LWIUUh auuul Huron Campus Ministry night fellowship. Central America? Join us vkwina the film, “The Common meal 4:30 pm., meeting time 5~30 pm.. ---, Americas in lhnsition”. Diiss& with Rebecca dining hall, and Wesley Chapel at St. Pal II’S Yodm-Neufieid, former El Salvadoran &se TUESDAY DECEIvlBER 10 Colleae. You are ~- Welcon ---__ ne. Fbentes. 7;30 pm, Adutt Recreation Centre, King LuthGan Hohr Communion Candlbliaht Q- servic,,rn 0 muen as., wma Ail Welcome 10~00 pm., WiU Seminary, K&let Chal p& Ah3-t __ Regula; meeting of the Board of Directors of the Graduate Student Association in HH 334 at 7:30 1 & Bricker %a ’ FRIDAY DEcEElEBER 13 -AL-----JGUW cdikehm Con neand--arr~~otnerswno pm. All graduate students are welcome to attend. 3m. Cal II 884~GLOW for Apple Users come to the Waterloo Regional a~~~~~~~ I.“‘b II I,“. ’ lo’ Cc 8z00 I Apple Mat& (WRAM) meeting. Agenda Chrisbnas party! Tree trimming, carolling, all tk Executive elections, Q & A period and public Evening b*r with choir and s !rmon, 430 pm., sentimental stuff. Call Uda at 888-6913 or ext. Conrad Grebel College. , domain software. M&C 1058, 7:30 6331 for details. -

Chinese Christian Fellowship Bible Study: Imitating Christ’s Humility. Phil. 1:29--2:ll. Refreshments & Fellowships afterward. Everybody welcomed. 7:30 pm., WLU Seminary Rm 201. For further information please call 8848338. The Mua Coffeehouse: an alternative to wild Friday nyghts. Good food, good music, good company. 8:30 pm., Campus Centre. . CIlNnAV,L/rx. vu,

~Z)N&DAY

_All-_Welcome. ______... -. -

JANUARY

k’ENCIL SPECIAL PRICE .qw

6th to- JANUARY

. at the u of a

BOOK

STORE

‘.SOtJTH

CAMP&

HALL

.. . .

The Federation of Studeqts invites applications for the fdllowirig Executive positions for the Winter 1986 . term:

ACCotiODATION ACCOtiODATION ON CAMP AVAILABLE ILABLE CAMPUS

Women’s Commissioner

FOR

Chairperson, Board / / of Academic Affairs

Appizcatzon

deadlzne: Mclay,

WARNING:

UecemDer f ml.

ST. JEROME’S ,ROME’S FOR

For further information, inquire at the Federation Office, Campus Centre Room 235.

WINTER

TERM

COLLEGE

FRANK

1986

MEN’S

INFORMATION

1 I ‘.

RESIDENCE RESI

CALL

O’CONNOR

inhaling. Average Health and W&fare Canada advises that danger to health increases with amount smoked -avoid Expoit “A” Extra Light Regular “tar” 8.0 mg‘., nicotine 0.7 mg. King Size “tar” 9.0 mg., nicotine 0.8 mg.

per Cigarette-