1987-88_v10,n21_Misprint by Editor Imprint

Davis Centre is, like,awesome by J. Vincent and P Valin In a move that 1s hoped will ellmlnate cost overruns In the D a v ~ sCentre, the UW board of governors has announced the c r e a t ~ o nof a new chair - the Tlmothy Eaton Chaw for Consumer Spending Research. This chair has been slble by a s ~ z a b l edonatlon from the T. Eaton Corporation of Toronto.

The new c h a ~ w r ~ l attempt l to study the effects n f masq market

goods on the grade p o ~ naverage t of UW students. The chaw will operate out of the new Davis Centre, which is soon to becompleted. The first i n d ~ c a t r o n o the f new chaw appeared Monday morning with the erection of the Eatan's sign on the Dams Centre facing Ring Road. It IS also rumoured that Davw Centre plans have been altered to a shopping level. president D o u g Wright expressed concern over t h ~ new s development, s a y l n g "I hope t h ~ sdoesn't attract a lot of mall k1dc"

Billy bldg. to get flying squirrels?

by Flossie MacQueer

and Geoph Myth Misprint staff

t-yew student Melvin by ~ravor;FM. dirscavered the messaore Mirprhrt stitf .he am&@ late for C ~ ~ S S .

I Veggie fetish spurs world’s top PSYCHOS

Bunch 6f tools win praise from Objectionable club by Jon Gald Misprint staff A new philosophy is currently sweeping the UW campus. This philosophy is called Objectionism, and its creator is Ms. Anne Kruger Rande, She has written many books which espouse her revulsionary ideals, the most renowned being Atlast Rejected by all critics, a fine work of literat ure, What is this new intellectual philosophy that has captivated the hearts and wallets of so many of Waterloo’s students? Objectionism’s basic tenet is that our refusal to do things we do not want to do, and our objection to others doing things we do not want them to is the first paving-stone on the path towards happiness and mortality. Objectionism relies completely on reasons. Faith is rejected because reasons are the only requisites for protest. Of course, one can practise the phi-. losophy by objecting without any reason, although this practice is recommended for use only among fellow objectors. A rash objector, having many reasons, is a happy person. The dichotomy between the reasons for objectionism and common senses has led many objectors to brand democracy “the tyranny of the majority,” probably because the objectors constantly find themselves in the minority - the smallguys on the intellectual block. Nevertheless, the past few molhths has seen a ,-

by Flossie MacQueer Misprint staff The world’s most vicious and bloodythirs ty killers - including Adolf Hitler, Ayatollah Khomeini, Charles Manson and UW’s own Bobo Soot may not have been responsible for their actions as they were suffering from insufficient animal proteins, sayS researcher Bob Doring. Doring,

who

runs

a gun

this

false

press.”

by Trevor Fisch Misprint staff objections in sdciety in general (witness the debate over free trade). One branch of the objectionist tree has as its goal in life the denial of all Freudian thought. This group, the conscious objectors, are perhaps the most radical of Ms. Rande’s minions. They claim to live in an utopia of greed, but are also responsible for promotina what one observer called “thue ethical use of tools”: during

The Board of Health is closing down Village Two based on conditions in the glass walkway separating the South and East quads from the cafeteria. Layers of spider webs have prevented the use of the walkway by students since November. Both staff and students remained silent about the webs, thinking they were Halloween decoradriven insane by radioactive The big hairy spiders, tions. cafeteria-fed duck meat, continued work on their empire, which grew stronger and larger by the day. Blame fell upon the V2 cleaning staff, who all refer to the walkway as a janitorial no-man’s land, Experts, called in to use explosives to clear the hallway, all contracted an as yet unknown and seen-+&-~ fatal disease. In a last desperate attempt to free the estirrlated 1000 captive V2 residents, V2-_ officials - * plan to contact Lee Majors, star of the hit film Kingdom of’ the Spiders.

a recent lecture at UW, Dr. Henry Wizbanger, a truly conscientious dbjector, objected to any definitions which would permit some one to screw a saw or drive. a hammer while pulIing tools from bags.

Judging from the popular appeal of this new movement, L. Rohn Hubbird and his band of married men, best be prepared to defend . I .mtheir ._place_ on the top of the philosopliical pop charts.

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near Brisbane, Australia, says that vegetarianism “can lead to grossly erratic mental behaviour.” “Vegetarians are supposed to be peaceful and non-aggressive. But if you promote a theory op-

posite to their own, as I have, they become very vindictive and nasty. There is a tendency among a minority of them to want to control the world. “My theory is that because a deficiency of amino acids causes mental problems, vegetarians may not even be responsible for their actions - some of which have been pretty shocking.” Doring, whose field of expertise remains undetermined, has found support for his theories with customers and hunting buddies. UW’s vegetarian club refused to comment, other than saying, “There will be some slayings

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A Slight Difference

cure found at UW for stupidity Miracle

by Bindy Misprint

Bong staff

After search,

in a UW lab is developing a new way to keep stupidity from forming. Stupidity is a Research

dangerous problem not only in Ontario, but world-wide. The research is being done by chemistry professors Braynee

and

Schmartstuf

who

have

great deal of experience in the field of stupidity. Stupidity often goes unnoticed, especially in urban areas, because the short-term effects are less visible than the longterm ones. Currently, stupidity is thought to form at an early stage in the educational process. It is

difficult

to pinpoint the exact point, but the levels begin to approach intolerance for most human beings around the age of informed consent. Says Dr. Braynee: “We do have ways to prevent stupidity from affecting the environment now. But many people are opposed to the idea of shipping large numbers of human beings off to Pluto, or pasting little American flags on their heads and sending them on a tour of Libya. It’s much starting

better

to nip it in the bud, so to

speak, and that’s what we think we’ve found a way to do.”

nee

years

of painstaking

Schmartstuf

discovered

epicentre in the brain. “It’s not difficult

reBraya stupidity adult human and

to get at,” eicplains Schmartstuf. “It’s right up front, just under the skull. The problem is it’s so large, much larger than we expected. In fact, a rather massive chunk of the cerebral cortex seems devoted to

stupidity.”

The professors with some animal

experimented volunteer’s to see what would happen if they removed the stupidity part of the brain, but ran into difficulties when they discovered that with the animals (mainly rats and cats and monkeys) a much smaller section of the brain was involved. However, the experiments did give some encouraging results. “It seems to be the case that once the stupidity section is removed, the problem begins to disappear,” claims Braynee. Doesn’t that leave a huge gaping hole in the grey stuff? Not really, according to the professors. The stupidity epicentre seems to act as a bit of a hard plug around which exists a gelatinous mass which then rushes in to fill the gap. Would

people

become

in-

A long list of those who do it like I do

stantly smart? No, says Schmartstuf: it’s more like a process

“Rather which is now able to take place, but before was inhibited.” Why does the stupidity form in the first place? This is the crux of the research, What appears to happen is humans stop using that particular portion of the brain which then becomes the stupidity centre. It needs constant stimulation to avoid the hardening which results in the formation,of is to keep

brain

stupidity.

that constantly

The trick

portion of the active and

stimulated.

“I think the public education system definitely contributes to the formation of stupidity,” states Braynee. “Children are basically taught to stop using their brains.” The first in a series of experiments will be carried out in January to determine if artificial stimulation of the cerebral area in question can prevent the formation of stupidity in humans. If the experiment proves successful, Braynee and Schmartstuf will travel to some third world country known to very few people and practice on the children there before actually trying it on North American children.

by Sandy Smythe Misprint stiff

[a pseudonym)

An acquaintance of mine recently asked me if we could still be friends. The answer was so obviously yes that the question struck me as bizarre: I had never “come on” to this person as I had to some of my other friends. My friend then asked me what it was really like to be one of them. So that was it. These differences had never come between us before; I had to explain. “Listen,” I said, “we’re not freaks; we.don’t bite.” (That was a lie, but I didn’t want to explain the subtle contrasts between social interaction and intercourse.) I asked my friend to take a little time to try and understand my position (s). “Many people who you would call’normal are just like me: Prince Charles, Brian Mulroney, even Doug Wright. We’re all in the same hole,” I said. My friend withdrew in limp in disgust: “You mean they did it too?” “Just imagine,” I told my friend, “Fyodor Vassilet of the U.S.S.R. did it at least 27 times (according to Guinness).” “But didn’t they go to jail?” I tried to explain that we no longer get sent to jail, and then I dropped the bombshell: most of them got married. My friend’s temper climaxed, and a string of crude insults was shot at me. “Two hundred years ago your type would be executed on sight,” screamed my friend. “Last century you would have been put in jail for life and beaten daily. Twenty years ago they would have fined you and then put you in jail. But now, nothing liappens. You can penetrate the decency of an entire society with your sickness, and nobody does a damn thing. You bloody heteros, sooner or later, we’ll all be forced to do it your way!” My friend thrust out of the room.

Men’s Commission puts boots to WC by Steve King Misprint staff On Wednesday Carl Tedton, the Federatioh of Students’president, announced the introduction of the Men’s Commission, “We need a Men’s Commission to weigh the occasionally sexist voice of the existing Women’s Commission,” Carl was quoted as saying at a small party at the Doll’~ House in Bridgeport. The small gathering was limited to only 25 people because of the budget restrictions of the new Men’s Commission. Unlike the Women’s Commission budget, which is 50 per ‘cent entertainment expenses, the Men’s Commission budget is strictly reserved for male interest activities. Named to the position of Commissioner is Steve King. When asked why he wanted the job, he commented, “I wanted a chance to battle radical women feminists. The Men’s Commission chair gives me a good opportunity to speak out on issues like the safety van, equal opportunity employment and beauty-pageants. The budget of the Men’s Commission will allow me the freedom to voice a male opinion, on items that over the past few years have been fought very onesidedly by the Women’s Commission.” King sees the biggest problem facing men on campus at the present time being the limited access to the safety van. “There are a lot of male students who are afraid of walking home at night, At present, the safety van is available on a first woman come, first woman served basis. What we are looking at here is the basic ‘female chauvinistic sow’ mentality that needs to be fought at its root: the radical feminist movement.” When asked about the establishment of a parallel commission to hers, Windy Monella commented, “I think it is just great. For the first time we have true equality on campus. The Men’s Commission has even promised to fight the scheduling of classes for females between the hours of 1 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. so that we can get our daily fill of soap operas. I think it is a truly marvelous concept!” The Men’s Commission has been given a budget twice that of the Women’s Commission. This is due to the facts that it has four years of catching-up to do and that there are about twice as many men as there are women on campus. This budget is to be spent solely on male interest activities. Things such as active participation in support of the Miss Oktoberfest Pageant, including a post-pageant wine and cheese to which only the participants and fourth-year male students will be allowed to attend, and a monthly talent show at a local strip-club. “We shaH also Iook to perpetuate the Engineering Stag. This is a male society which wants to see males doing a man’s job. Fewer females in such places will lead to more quality work in the field of engineering,” concluded King. . The Men’s Commission will be taking over the present office of the Women’s Commission because bf the importance of its mission. In the interim, Women’s Commission [a.k.a. WC) will move to CC 155, currently a women’s washroom, until a suitable new location can be i found.

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ENkINEEiING MATHEMATICAL SCIENCES DEPT. of aOPTOMETRY ’ Good Luck & Best Wishes Steve Robinson & Claude Marcotte of

Chimney info by Dieter Peepees and Ankew Resnatch Misprint Stags We’ are very concerned that your stay at the University of Waterloo be productive, enlightening and fun. We have attempted to provide you with the latest techniques to enable you to enjoy a healthy and active social life without having to encumber yourself with books, logs or other bulky social aids that other courses offer. Moreover, our introductory dissertation is available free for this time only. To embark on a healthy socia1 career, one of the initial and most important aspects is that of appearance. To be accepted and appreciated by your peers and other genitalia on (and off-) campus, you must look good. There is a vast array of styles and looks available from the ever affluent Prep-dom to sexy Pounce-wear sweats‘that can transform any Cweeb named Homer into a hot stallion of lust. With your new attire, you should have acquired a new positive, self-confident perception of your own being. You know that, YOU are an important person. You’re hot rind ready to make it with anyone. ’ So, now you look good and you feel good - do you know what to do next? We didn’t think so. You’re lucky we came when we did. Do you know where td go to score? To be brutally honest, aside from the Arts lecture hall, there isn’t anywhere on campus,

Off-campus you can go to such hot spots as Piss Whatcow’s living room couch, or a not so memorable place for Ankew, sTrAPpS. What we have found as reilly appropriate for the Christmas season for guys especially is for you to paint a red brick pattern on yourgood hand. Paste a cotton beard and a red hat to your penis. Now you are ready to see Santa go up and down the chimney. One of the major fears that both males and females face is asking somebody out for a date. We feel that this is a really midVictorian technique and should be abandoned by the hip, new students soon to be entering the nineties. What we advocate is the thoroughly modern technique of abduction. In this terrorist age it is about time that we face up to the challenge presented by this new technique and accept violence as inherent in our reborn social lives. It is also about time that you understand the importance of food to your social life. We don’t advocate anorexia, but if you’re in for the long haul, we think you’d be better xoff investing your money in high quality strip bonds. Keep the occasion frugal. Your best bet is to travel to supermarkets and search for those free food samples. These are just a few of the’ methods of social contact that we discuss in detail at our intensive training seminars. Our lecture series is also available on cassette and you can ask for more information at vour local Misprint office.

Soti of Marumba alive and well at UW ,

by Ian Smelt

Misprint

staff

In an ugly moment, office

Ted Carlton

revealed

his roots while

Misprint

photographers

Mr.‘Carlton is the son of Marumba, his 231 year-old mummy. explorers in the Amazon jungle discovered Marumba, who credits According to scientists, she seems to be endowed with mindboggling psychic powers as well, something that Ted Carlton exhibits almost daily in his duties as Federation president. Misprint confronted UW’s . own Marumba. Carlton sheepishly explained that he is emotionally scared from his upbringing in Brazil. Wanting to clear the air of the matter, he gained our camera crew’s sympathies quickly when he described the horror he knew of having his mummy occasionally kiss him before he went off to school. In another revelation, Carlton told of the difficulty he had in dropping the Yota dialect from his speech. Carlton has other things on his mind right now. Despite his youth, Marumba has telepathically decreased his metabolism, Mr. Carlton says it’s mummy’s way of telling me to come back to the jungle. “But I won’t go,” he said. It’s not currently a pretty sight to look at our Fed pres. Unless he returns to the jungle his teeth will rot; his flesh will wrinkle and smell; his eyes will suck back into the middle of his head; and his hair will take on a consistency of straw.

were staking

out his

In a story that broke last month, aliens for her longevity.

Marumba: 231 -year-old and mother

Brariifian

“It’s mummy’s way of telling me to come back to the jungle. 8ut, I won’t go.” Ted

Carlton

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Village

Dons and

managers exposed in dread muDDet cult They’re fury, hairy, and bug-eyed, and they’re Dons. A subversive organization has been exposed in Village II. The membership sounds like a list of campus “do-gooders”, but in this case, looks are deceiving. “It’s a damn cult, that’s what it is,” saysdissenting Don Kelly Cascone. At least a dozen Village Dons and the V2 manager have been identified decked out in full Muppet drag. “Last week it looked like a Don from the West Quad was masquerading as Mr. Snufflupagus,” a concerned West-Quad tutor Peter Hopkins said. A cafeteria lady corroborated the sighting of a Sesame Street Muppet in the village. “I saw the Snuffy, and when I asked for a meal card all I got was the reply, ‘It’s O.K. I’m a DON’,” kitchen supervisor Irene Puddy said. Using questionable tactics, Misprint found a Muppet mug shot of the Village Two group. The 5” x 7” photo was found in the office of “The Count” Dave Reynolds. An information blackout has been imposed by UW President Doug Wright. He is allegedly under pressure from the Muppet Cult to yield to several Muppet demands. Wright refused to speculate on the possibility of erecting ghetto apartments to make the Sesame Street gang on campus more comfortable. The exposure of Don and Village II management involvement comes just two days after Wright announced that the university will now accept material from the Children’s Television Workshop as suitable teaching material for first year general Engineering

courses.

The investigation

is ongoing.

you suspect your Don is secretly Security immediately.

The

If you are a resident dressing in Muppet

of any UW residence and drtig, call Mr. Hooper in

Proof

According to photo identification Scott Sutherland is Oscar the Grouch; Chris Schweitzer is Cowboy; Village manager Dave Reynolds is The Count; Collie Greenwood is Grover; Psycho is Susan; Steve King is Bert; Adam Chamberlain is Big Bird; Pete Barnett is Bob; and Snuffy’s identity remains somewhat of a mystery.

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tI%iria Estefan joins UW paper By Piss Whatcow Misprint gaff

NOT YOUR AVERAGE BLASTER

In a term relatively free of scandal, Gloria E&fan, lead singer of pop group Miami Sound Machine, has caused a stir by revealing th’;lt she has been posing as Acpounting student and Misprint hack Peter Dedes this term. The masquerade, which has apparently fooled everyone this term, came to an abrupt end last weekend as the supposed Mr. Dedes was leaving Fed Hall and was frisked by a surprised bouncer.

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‘Do the Conga 8 After the revelation, Ms. Estefan admitted that she is a reluctant pop star and that her real ambition has always been to be a journalist. “Do you really think I enjoy that vapid, empty lifestyle of glamourous clothes, fast cars and mass aduiation? My mother always said I was the intellectual of the family and I’ve always been the bookish, stayat-home type, so journalism has always had an undeniable appeal of erudition for me. “That’s why I had to disguise myself as a man - journalism’s not an easy business for a

woman to get into. I mean, you can flash a bit of cleavage on a video to sell a few records, but journalism’s a tough business.” Although she said she’ll miss the exciting life that student journalism offers, she said that the hardest thing for her to do was to break the news to understandably dis“Peter’s” traught an’ perplexed girlfriend. The mood around the Misprint ranged from one of bemusement to shock. Commented editor-in-chief Steve Kannon, “Well, that explains why “Peter” was always flouncing around the office like some goddamned nut every time Do The.Conga came on the radio.” Said Misprint colleague Tae Kwon Judo, “I don’t get it. I can’t get a chick to give me the time of day and this woman gets a girlfriend ‘her first week on campus.” Upon leaving, Ms. Estefan apparently asked Misprint’s Arts Editors if they would consider reviewing Miami Sound Machine’s latest album, receiving as her reply only, “Forget it, babe. Only if you sleep with us.” Much to the slimy duo’s chagrin, however, it would appear that Ms. Estefan was not so desperate,for a review after all.

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Interview reveals twe nature of learning In order to determine the attitudes and opinions of the typical UW student, Misprint brings you this candid interview with an Average Student: I: So, where should we start? How about the university itself? What do you think of UW in general? A: It’s pretty good, I guess. I: . . . do you care to elaborate on that at all? A: Well, I mean, what can I say? I’ve never been to any other school. It seems okay. I wish I could park my car outside the campus centre . . . I I: Do you like the co-op system? A: Yes! It’s great! It helps students get job experience. I: What about criticisms that moving every four months cuts down on a sense of school spirit, causes a lot of stress and that the program itself creates a sense of the education aspect of university being secondary? A: I don’t know how important all that is. I just want to be able to compete for jobs in the long run. I: Dd you think it’s important to get involved with other aspects of university life besides courses and interviews? A: Of course. I go to the Bombshelter once a week. I: I see. I was thinking more along the lines of student government, the student paper, volunteer services . . . A: Who has time for all that? Besides, I wrote a letter-to the editor once and it didn’t get in. I think there’s a lot of censorship at the paper. I: How do you feel about censorship

in the student

A: Well, should be thing that agree with. get upset, upsetting. and plain. fifty other5

paper?

you know, no one allowed to write anythe majority doesn’t A lot of people might but my letter wasn’t It was very boring I only repeated what had already said.

I: Maybe that’s why they didn’t run it? A: That’s no excuse! They should only censor stuff that might get people freaked out. I: Then you’d say censorship of ideas is right. A: Well, there’s no right or wrong in the world. Everything’s relative. You have to live and let live. I: What about sexual abuse of children? A: What?! Why, that’s terrible!! I: Always? A: Of course! What are you? Some kind of animal?!! I: Hmmm, what about prostitution? Is that right or wrong? A: Well, Iguess that’s okay. No one’s getting hurt. I: I see. What about some of the arguments made against the practice, that the men and women involved are being hurt, that some of the girls’ involved never recover psychologically fromm wthe a.... experience? ., . A: lsn-t it lust because society gives prostitutes such a hard time that their lives are difficult? I: Is that a sensible argument, though? I mean, if murder wasn’t considered wrong, murderers wouldn’t have a hard time in society either. Are you saying everything is right and it’s just society’s attitudes that are wrong? A: How dare you equate prostitution with murder!!! I: I’m not equating prostitution and murder. I’m asking you to judge the sensibility of the argument. A: Well, I don’t know why you expect me or any other university student to produce a sensible argument to back up our opinions, As long as it sounds good, that’s what counts. just read a sample of typical undergraduate essays. I= All right. Let’s change the topic, Did UW make the right decision regarding the CFS? A: What does CFS stand for?

I: Urn, skip it. Tell me a bit about yourself. Why did you come to university. A: So I could get a good paying job. I: What about an education? A: Well, that’s what gets me the job, silly! I: No, I mean don’t you care about discovering new ways of looking at life, exposing yourself to different viewpoints, exploring the meaning of life and the universe?

A: Oh, that. Well, I took a psychology course in my first year. It’s all well and dandy, but what practical use is it? I: So you’d prefer to be marketable rather than knowledgeable. A: Look, what have you got against being practical? We have to eat, you know. You can’t eat ‘knowledge.

I: How do you feel about published student course evaluations? A: I don’t knowif it’s fair to the professor. I: In what way? A: Well, how can the students

I: Wait a minute . . you’re not fairly evaluate a cqurse? I: The students sat through ii, - an AvGge Stii‘dent. YoU’Ve ’ :~4wes~.~~~~~qad’ing the whole 1 were able -to compare ‘it with +* time! Who -are y&t ‘really? other courses, had asense of how A: You’re right. I’m a- Former interested the professor was in Student. The Average Student the course and the students, couldn’t make it. He was practicwere capable of deciding if it ing for his co-op interview. was good learning experience or I: Then everything you told me if they might as well have stayed home and read a good book on ‘A: Oh, it was true enough. I’m the subject, etc. Don’t you think a good actor. I do Average almost that what the students felt about better than he does, Besides, it the course would be worth findtakes about four years before ing but before you take it youryou really begin to figure out self? how things work around shere, A: You talk as if the students especially with the course load are actually an important part of they slap you with. Then it’s the university or something. Betime to leave. It’s well-planned, sides, isn’t that why we have an don’t you think? Don’t leave the administration? students any time to think. They I: But the administration recertainly won’t make time for it fuses to publish the results of the bn their own. That way, you can course evaluations. get away with murder and no A: Well, they probably know one will notice until it’s too late. what they’re doing. You can’t go I: If they can’t think, how do around questioning authority, they learn anything? you know. It just leads to trouA: Most of them don’t, Don’t ble. worry, though. Most of them i: What kind of trouble? don’t care that they don’t learn, A: Look at it this way: Suppose so long-as they pass, everybody started asking uesI: This sounds horrible. tions and getting all upset aII out A: It is. stuff like the blood-from-a-stone I: Is there nothing we can do? tactics being used by the Board A: (Shrugs.] You can try to Of Governors to keep the univerwake them up. Can’t say it will sity from going into receivership work. I tried for four years. Most while Doug and the boys build of them are sleeping pretty shiny new computer centers, pat soundly. The public school systheir Tory buddies on the back tem is partly to blame, but by giving them namesakes, and mainly they just refuse toget out line their pockets, There might of bed. It’s comfortable there. be open rebellion. Then the uniI: Well, I see we’re out of time, versity would get a bad reputaThank you for the interview Mr. tion and no one would want to Av- uh, Mr. Former. hire us when we graduate beA: My pleasure. Oh, by the cause they’d figure anyone from way. Tell the Feds the boys upUW would be a boat-rocking stairs are laughing again at their rabble-rouser. latest noise about ‘student-run I: (Shocked.) How do you course evaluations. It’s the bigknow about all this?!! gcat joke in Needlea Crall. A: I talked to an imprint reporHappens every few years. The ter. Feds are so scared of the adminI[: What?! Who was it?! Why istration that it never really gets didn’t Imprint put this stuff on off the ground and the students the front page? are too lazy to do anything about A: They did, but you had to it. know how to read between the I: I’ll pass it on. lines. They dan’t teach that here. l

Quantum lnfarrrlation~ Resources Limited r_b Quantum lnformation Resources Limited, one of Canada’s leading compute.r’systems development firms currently employs more than 450 computer professionals serving North kmerica’s major public and private sector organizations.

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In 1987,251 Waterloo graduates made the right choice in joining Quantu’k Information Resources. For 1988, we are hoping to identify another 25 highly-motivated, progressive Waterloo graduates who we , c&n .integrate into large sophisticated project teams. ‘Utilizing the very latest project management disciplines and structured architectural, philosophies, Quantum is jointly committed with its clients in meeting the information systems demands of the eighties by providing a comprehensive set of services: E

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In addition to our technical requirements, Quantum wants to maximize the marketing and business potential of recent Waterloo graduates tiho wish to develop a career making use of people skills rather than technical skills. Through a comprehensive one year training program leading to a role of Marketing Manager, we will provide you with a solid foundation in sales techniques and marketing strategies. This should appeal to graduates from Computer Science, Applied Math, Engineering or Arts. Interested? Quantum staffers and ‘87 Waterloo grads now on various project assignments will be happy to tell you more. Plan onattending’our wine and cheese reception to be held on Monday, January 11,1988 from 7:W p.m. to 1O:W p.m. at the University Club. For further information please call Vie Kulokas or Eugene’ Henry at (416) 598-1311.

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Once there was a child born in a manger: a human child, a dark child, a boy child who didn’t know he was a boy yet, he didn’t know he was a Jew-child, and a Saviour. A child who, just like any other child, never thought to doubt he was God’s child. Once the,re was king who called the people to be taxed, a cruel but a successful king. A king who heard and feared, but did not believe, who had forgotten that he was God’s child. Once there were three wisemen who believed and journeyed far, believed so fervently and came so far they started out with faith and ended wise. They brought gifts, too, to give to the young child they hoped to find. Once there was a star. It helped those wisemen. Once there were shepherds keeping watch over their flocks by night. They never saw the star, they never met the wisemen, but they found the child - the Jew-child, the dark child, the boy child born in a manger - because: Once there was an angel, then a multitude of angels - speaking, singing, shining like the star - and the shepherds heard and saw and were afraid; and the angel said, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped -in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.‘* Once there was a child born in a manger: a human child, a dark child, a boy child who didn’t know he was a boy yet, he didn’t know he was a Jew-child, and a Saviour. A child who just like any other child never thought t6 doubt he was God’s child. I-Ie was born just like any other child, except instead of midwives and attendants there were cattle looking on, and instead of aunts and uncles there were shepherds and wisemen. And the shepherds and the wisemen saw the angel and the star, and took the angel and the star as signs of something special; and the people and the king saw the shepherds and the wisemen journeying a long way to a cattle manger, and took the shepherds and the wisemen as signs of something special, just as the shepherds and wisemen took the angel and the star which the people and the king couldn’t see. And the king, the cruel but successful king, who hadn’t seen the star but only the wisemen, and who didn’t believe that there would be a Saviour, but was afraid the people might believe - the people who had seen the shepherds going to the manger because they. had seen the angels which the people hadn’t seen - this king ordered the wisemen to come tok ‘im secretly and asked them when the star had first appeared, as though he too believed in stars, then sent them to the village where the cattle manger was, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him bring me word, that I too may

come and worship him.” But did the wisemen believe him? They did not believe him, They heard the king and then went on their way, not the king’s way; they followed the star which they had followed all along, until it

came to rest over where the young child lay. And when they saw the child born in the manger, they fell down on their knees and worshipped him. Once there was a man who believed in angels, who hadn’t seen an angel but believed. Believed more in spiritual than in human happenings, because the people thought he was the father of this child born in the manger, which he knew wasn’t his child, but believed when his wife told him it was God’s. Imagine that! A man with faith so strong he believed, not just his wife, but an angel which appeared to him in a dream. Well, this man Joseph had another dream in which an angel appeared-and said to him: “Arise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is searching for the child, and will destroy him.” And he believed that too, and arose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. And when Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream-to Joseph, saying, “Rise, take the child and his mother and return to Israel, for those who sought the child’s life are dead.” And Joseph did that, too. Once there was an angel, no, two angels, no, a multitude of angels, all of them angels of the Lord. And they were flying around useless in the head of an old doctor, a doctor who hadn’t many patients anymore, and what patients he did have were all old, diseased, and crippled, a doctor who, because he was a Christian wished more than Christians ought to wish that he had been there to deliver the Christ-child. Why, he would have been a veterinarian if that had done it; but he wasn’t a veterinarian, and the cattle in the manger were all well that Christmas Eve, and the child was born without the benefit of science and, besides, it all had happened a long time ago. So this old doctor sat down at his desk to try to reconstruct how it had happened, how the Saviour of the world (he believed that!] could have been born in a manger of a cattle stall outside an inn where unbelievers were carousihg and so crowded there wasn’t even any room. He began writing, and the angels in his head began buzzing, and the prophecies and psalms he’d memorized as a child began coming - flashing on and off like neon lights - and, Bang!, he had it: stars and dreams and portents, yes, and angels singing, cattle lowing, wisemen walking, shepherds kneeling, yes, that was just the way it must have been! And he wrote it, penned it, for it seemed to write itself: he was just the reed, God’s stylus. He wrote, and wrote,

and wrote:

Once there

was a child, his name was Jesus, a stranger, born in a manger, born king, and Once there was a king, a cruel king, a hard king, an evil and a crafty king, and

born

Once there was a shepherd, simple, trusting, and alert, and Once there was an angel, no, two angels, no, a multitude of angels, singing Glory to God in the highest, and in earth peace, goodwill to men!

(The Rev. Dr. Tom York is United Church ChoWLU. His office is at St. Paul’s

plain to UW and College.)

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by Mike O’Driscoll Imprint staff Responding to a provincial government announcement, the Ontario Federation of Students has fully condemned a 4.5 per cent tuition fee increase for university and college students in the 1988/89 school year. OFS Chairperson Sheena Weir charged that the Government of Ontario is irresponsible in levying yet another increase in tuition fees. “After a seven per cent increase in tuition this past fall and now an additional 4.5 per cent for next year, students are f Ed up.”

Weir

stated.

“It seems

strange to me that a government which claims concern for accessibili t y ignores rising educational costs and allows students to bear the brunt of underfunding Earlier this month, Colleges and Universities Minister Lyn McLeod also announced that university operating grants will increase by 6.7 per cent, while coIlege grants will increase by six per cent. While it is expected that the combined increases will cover operating costs for the coming year, Weir stressed that the F:fget will in no way make up “the ravages af past underfunding.”

* Weir estimated that “most the 6.7 per cent in&ease will

swallnwed

up by

of be

inflationary

costs, additional students, and the natural progression of various faculties through the ranks.” OFS Communications Director Tim Stutt noted that the budget “will do nothing more than maintain the status quo”. Stutt said the funding policy is expected to force university administrators to review their

fiscal priori ties. In referring to grants made earlier this year to Ontario’s “Centres of Excellence** Stutt said that while the financial boosts are appreciated “targeted funding ties the hands of universities.” He said this can be a drawback as the provincial government

tends

to fund

are

given

too little

The OFS considers the government’s current educational policies to be contradictory. Stutt said that on the one hand the government claims Ontzirio to be the home of world class educational institutions, while on the other, provincial officials are failing to meet little more than the ongoing needs of education. Weir concluded that the tuition hike and operating grant

announcements are “contradictions that can’t be considurt:d as shining examples of prudent fiscal management by the provincial government.

Lyn McLeod

University

of Toronto

Thanks to an anonymous donor, gays and lesbians coming to U of T will be eligible for their own scholarship, reports The Varsity Regan McClure, a member of Gays and Lesbians at U of T, who initiated the program, said the $9,400 donation is the first part of what is hoped will be a $30,000 endowment. The award will be given in 1989 to as may people as the endowment can provide for. McClure is looking to raise enough money to provide at least $3,000 per year in scholarship money.

only

what it considers to be “sexy”, that is technologically-oriented research. Stutt said that means other educationa areas, such as the 1 social sciences and the humanities, attention.

Calling them “false, unfair, and hurtful”, York University President Harry Arthurs dism’issed allegations that the selection of a male dean of Osgoode Hall Law School was made on the basis of sex rather than qualifications, reports that campuses student newspaper, the Excalibur The allegations against Arthurs, York University, and Osgoode Hall are contained in a complaint by 121 female lawyers, law students, and academics presented to the Ontario Human Rights Commission on September 28. Arthurs said the qualifications of James Macpherson (who got the appointment) were “clearly superior*’ to those of Mary Jane Mossman [who many thought would be named dean].

University

of Western

Ontario

Six months

after the city of London passed a bylaw limiting the number of unrelated tenants in a single family dwelling to four, the student council will go before the Ontario Municipal Board to argue that the city has exceeded its authority, says The Gazette The council will argue that the bylaw exceeds the authority of London’s planning act because the act can only zone land but not people. It’s estimated Westerr& challenge will cost $25,000. A verdict is not expected until the new year. UW challenged, and lost, a similar exclusionary bylaw in Waterloo earlier this year. An appeal is currently underway. University

of New

Brunswick

A recent student union election has been the subject of much controversy, reports The Brunswickian, UNB’s student newspaper. The election has been plagued by rumoucs of a lack of ballots and formal complaints about its organization. Most of the problems stemmed from a change in the November election date, as well as confusion over nomination deadlines. The student council is currently looking at possible revisions to its eleetion procedures.

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Students to help out needy at Christmas A group of of LJW students with the spirit of Christmas at heart has announced plans to hoId a bash to raise toys for needy children in the K-W area. Group spokesperson Carol Goulette says the project is a unique way of helping out those that are less fortunate. Any student on the WLU or UW campus is invited to attend the party, which will be held on the evening of December 19. Members of the two universities* student federations and local politicians are also expected to

be on hand. The exact Iof:atinn has yet-to be announced. Brick Breweries and Zehrs supermarket have pledged their support for the e\ient, which means the beer, eggnog and food will be free. The price of admission is a child’s toy - a cover that’s bound to go a long way. GouIette says this is first time anything like this has been held in the area. She’s hoping the idea catches on and becomes an annual event. For more information Carol can he contacted at 747-4349.

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Kinko’s business day starts early and ends late. so we’re here when you need us most - before an early morning cIass or business appointment, after an eveningmeeting or seminar, and even on weekends.

by Mikie Brown Imprint staff

Comeb! and see us. No “closed. ComeBy .$qin” signs when you have a ioh for Kinko’s.

Mack Beauty Downs is the name, drinking is the game. Xts makers are calling it the “ultimate party game.” An ex-University of Western Ontario sfudent devised the game and intended to take the best of the best drinking games and incorporate the fun into a board game of mental and physical challenge. The game board is a facsimile of a horse racing track. You race your players around the track

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encountering drinking direcThe tions as players proceed. game was created in a university setting and after eight years of alterations is now on the market. Black Beauty Downs is a response to the frustration felt by the game’s designer Wally Faloney. At Western, he found traditional games boring. With the emphasis on drinking, Sly Games Incorporated is “not trying to deny the fact it’s a drinking game.” Marketing Representative Al Donald claims, however, that his comp-any’s answer to boredom can be enjoyed by drinkers; designated

drivers and just plain nondrinkers: “Pee break” cards “light up” spots, a rowdiness rule, a spilling rule, and a swearing rule are just a few of the amusing features of the game. No company came across with serious enough offers, hence, Sly Games was founded by Faloney and his backers. According to Sly Games, the market is no.t limited because the game encourages interaction and concentration. Because nonalcoholic drinks are not ruled out, the eligible age group seems to be from age 10 to age 67.

UW moves toward employment equity The University of Waterloo is surveying all regular full-time staff and faculty members to determine the percentages on its payroll of wqmen, aboriginal people, persons with disabilities, and persons who are members of visible minorities in Canada. This is the first step toward complying with the federal government’s contractors’ program for employment equity. The university has been involved in federal government research contracts for many years; it will not be able to continue receiving such contracts unless it meets the government’s employment equity regulations. The campus-wide survey was announced by Dr. Robin .Banks, acting vice-president [academic) and provost. It is being carried out under the supervision Catharine Scott, assistant director, personnel, with Dr. Doreen Brisbin, adviser to the vicepresident, acting as liaison

pefson with faculty, “While the federal government’s contract program has triggered the current survey, we have been moving in this direction for some time,” said Banks, “Earlier innovations ‘have included the existence on campus, for many years now, of an equal rights committee; the commitment, in the spring of 1986, to increasing the percentage of women faculty members; the women scholars program: our employment advertising, and commitments in both the third and fourth decade reports. This is simply a further step along the same path. “It should be noted the employment equity plan will not involve quotas and will not disadvantage any existing employee. Its focus will be on fair and progressive employment practices; it is intended to make available, for members of the groups involved, opportunities that may not have been open to them in the past.”

Campus Mediation offers alternatives Although they may not be aware of it, University of Waterloo students have an alternative to the stress resulting from unresolved conflicts. The alternative is Campus Mediation. Campus Mediation has been around for some time, but few students have heard of it. It is a free service and special project of the Office of the Ombudsman, Mediation is a process by which two (or more] disputing parties

can come

to some agreewithout can result from a court battle in which someone ends up a loser. In Kitchener-Waterloo in general, mediation is provided Community Mediation Services. They deal with many issues ranging from divorce and custody arguments to disputes bet ween neighbours over the positioning of fences. Campus Mediation is specifically for student-related issues. Examples of some conflicts which students experience from time to time are rent or utility bill disputes either with landlords or between housemates, problems with neighbours, lifestyle conflicts with roommates or housemates, or even ownership disputes when people who have

ment or reconciliation the bitterness that

been living together for some ‘time decide to part and need to fairly divide joint possessions. The only qualification of eligibility for Campus Mediation is that all parties involved agree to the mediation* process and are capable of reljresenting their own interests. The process, which mainly involves sitting

down and discussing lem with a mediator .could

take

anywhere

the probpresent, from

twenty minutes to six hours, but it is still free. Mediation is not a synonym for counselling. The focus is on

resolving the dispute rather than changing anyone’s behaviour. Once a student contacts campus mediation, the service takes responsibility for convincing the other party to come to the mediation table. Campus Mediation will not get involved in conflicts revolving around violent criminal behaviour, or those on which formal legal action has already been taken or is being planned. Presently the service is not extended to marital disputes. Students have been slow to take advantage of campus mediation. Last year’s co-ordinator, Psychology Ph.D student Shelley Borys, heard from only fifteen students. Only five or six actually went through with the mediation process, Kim Calderwood, a second year psychology student, is a potential co-ordinator for 1988. She wants to see a few more people volunteer as mediators and is planning a training event for early in January of next term. “It doesn’t take a lot of time,” she stresses, “but you still feel like you’re helping.” She plans to

publicize

the service

for volunteers would be helpful

Better davcare wanted H

by Card Imprint

Cambre staff

favour

settled when student speakers pointed out they were not asking for Iarge subsidies, just fair treatment.

Related subjects of discussion dealt with the universality of daycare, with the general consensus being that there are not enough places available, The possibility of licensing home daycare services was also discussed. The establishment of a municipal register of licenced daycare was also mentioned. Stress was also laid on the need for the provision of daycare facilities particularly for afterschool hours and lunch-time as well as the training and recognition of daycare workers.

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adding that it to cqme into the

the service volunteers.

and to encourage No experience is necessary to act as a mediator. Campus Mediation will provide the training. Anyone interested

can contact Ombudsman Ray Owens at ext. 2402 or at Campus room

funding, including one by UW’s Women Commissioner Wendy Kinella, among others. These speakers also called for the cessation of “discrimination” against students. Neil Calkin, president of Waterloo’s Graduate Students Association, said the five members present’ from the regional council and several from other municipal bodies seemed visibly impressed with the students’ presentations. Many of the speakers stressed the point that students are members of the community, not just transient beings, especially the married ones. Student representatives also noted that students play an active role in the

classrooms and spend a few minutes to make students aware of

Centre

-----

community and to discriminate against them by asking them to give up their studies to further support their children would only cause further economic problems later on, such as forcing many of them to seek educational upgrading. The officials were asked to keep in mind that the students of today are the doctors, architects and engineers of the future. The arguments against increased funding were not as persuading, added Calkin. Those opposed argued mainly on the grounds that they could not afford this plan and they didn’t know where they could get the appeared money. This dispute

University student groups’ concerns over the availability of daycare in the Waterloo area were presented to regional council members November 25. Members of Waterloo Regional council were invited to the open meeting at Knox Presbyterian Church to discuss with student representatives commonly-perceived problems with the allocation of funds for child care. The discussion -dealt with the issue of government support of daycare for the children pf needy couples where one parent is a graduate student or both parents are students. Several presentations were made

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A Pilgrim’s

A will to discover Christ

Perspective l

To the editor, I’m glad to see so many interested in God have been willing to share their experiences in Imprint. Since I find Jesus to be so utterly wonderful and amazing, I too would like to share some of my experiences with Him. I believe if all of us would take a few minutes each day (or each week or whenever] to really discover the personality of Jesus Christ, we would not be able to walk away with casual indifference. For Jesus, as depicted in the gospels, was truly delightful. He enjoyed people. He liked to go to parties and weddings. He was the kind of man people invited for

On the tem

by Bob Horton “My

religion

superior

spirit

“I want

to know

able to perceive

consists

of CIhumble

admiration

of the illimitable

who revetlls himself in the slight with our frail and feeble mind.” -

Gods’

thoughts,

details Albert

we are Einstein

the rest is detail.” -

Albert

dinner.

Einstein

Einsteins’ view of religion was a humble and quiet one (so I would gather from the quotes) yet, it had a significant effect on the way he thought and perceived the world. People could tell Einstein believed in God because that belief was evident in the way Einstein talked (or at least in terms of some of his quotations). If we claim that we believe in God, or if we claim we do not believe in God, people should be able to tell from the way we live our lives. Over the course of this term, I have been presenting a perspective on the Christian faith. I call myself a Christian because 1 believe in Jesus Christ. I believe He died on the cross to save everyone who believes in Him and acts out that belief through repentance. My life, as much as I am able, reflects my continuing attempts to learn about God and to change or repent of the things that He doesn’t want me to do. I have been writing these articles to try and help people understand what biblical Christianity is all about. 1 have also been writing to encourage those people on this campus who call themselves Christian to live out their faith so that their belief would be evident. It is my feeling that if you can’t see the effects of someone’s belief, then what difference does that belief really make? Yet, this does not mean that I hate everyone who doesn’t believe what I do. I respect anyone who has taken the time to understand what they believe and what difference that makes in their lives. I believe in Christ and in the Bible. Chris Gerrard is a Christian and is gay. I don’t understand Chris being gay and calling himself and Christian but I respect the fact that he has searched and determined what is right for him. This will be the last article for me. I will (hopefully) not be returning in the future as I will [hopefully) have graduated. (Can you tell I’m not too certain about this?!) I hope and pray that my writing has allowed people theopportunity to think and talk more about what they believe. If you are interested in learning more about Christianity, there are many people on campus who I know would be happy to talk to you; in particular, I would recommend my good friend Jim Girling in the chaplain’s office or, while I’m still on campus, I would be happy to talk with you. Jesus Christ made a very big difference in my life when I finally decided to find out who He really was and what He had to offer me. I hope you’ll consider giving Him a chance.

The people

of Jesus’ day

thought holy men had to be unapproachable, but Jesus got deeply involved with people’s lives and he cared about them. And he talked of his Father’s endless love. Children loved him. Adults were affected so much by him that some just wanted to touch his clothes. Why? They saw that Jesus loved them. He demonstrated that the only two things in life that really matter are God and people: the only things that will last forever. He was profoundly committed to setting people free and making them whole. He was also exasperating, clashing with almost everyone he met, whether they loved him or hated Him. He compelled individuals to decide, to make a choice. The pharisees couldn’t understand why this man didn’t follow their rules and traditions, but instead, hung around with prostitutes and tax collectors. His disciples wanted him to liberate Jerusalem with power and might, in keeping with their concepts of a Messiah, but the only power that Jesus demonstrated was the Dower of . servitude. I

So often our concept of who God is, is so small that we limit His power by our lack of faith. But this wonderful person is still alive today and is still the Good Shepherd, who longs to lead us in His paths. But are we willing to follow? Human concepts will never be able to describe adequately the majesty and greatness of God, but we have been promised, that if we seek God in the Bible, we will find him. (And God never breaks his promises). How can the Good Shepherd lead His sheep into green pastures and protect them from harm, if the sheep are unwilling to listen to what he has to say and follow Him? How can he heip us and pro-

dian people.

To the editor,

They both concern a our national flag is decimated. The first of these places is at Renison College and the second is in the main gym of the PAC building.

matter

I would like to express my concern on the lack of nationalism on camp&. With the death of Rene Levesque in the past month the Partie Quebecois has increased its separatism campaign, and if they

they can find

many things that could help their cause to divide Canada. There are two places that I have noticed that show a direct insult to the Cana-

The investigative reporting “WCRI facing suit over firing, land purchase deal” (Imprint, Nov.271 was blatantly biased. One obvious example of this is the title of the article. While Pellegrini stated that “It all had to do with the land deal”, the co-op’s board of directors maintained that

“Pellegrini was dismissed due to poor job performance”. Despite this conflict in opinion, Kannon chose to imply that the lawsuit involv,cd the land purchase deal in the headline. Suggesting that the lawsuit is “paperwork aqsociated tiit h the project” in the first sentence of the article demonstrates Kannon’s inability to distinguish between fact

Other countries that have embassies in Canada own the property that it is on, and the land becomes part of that country. Yet in these embassies they fly the flags even and to the left of our national flag to show their respect to our country for allowing them to be here. If then we could say that the church is an. embassy to heaven then they should at least fly their _ _- flag even _with . the . na-. tional tlag and take them both

and conflicting opinion. Although the remainder of the article appears to be factual, it is shocking to see the editor of Imprint state a contested opinion as fact. -

Don Pecena Electrical Engineering

Imprint Im*M is the student newspaper at the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper publishedby fmarirrt Publications, Watsrloo, a corporation without share capi&l. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newsp&per Association (OCNA). Imprbt publishes every second 2Tlday cTurlng the spring term as1d wery F’rlci&y durtiq3 tile regular terms. Mail should lx addressed to Imprint, Campus ct tre, Room 140, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, NZL3Gl. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit ad refuse advertising. * Imprint ISSN 07067380

where

In front of Renison College they fly the university flag, their church flag, and the Canadian flag. The only thing is that they fly their church flag higher than the Canadian flag; they also fly the Canadian flag all night long while they take down the other two flats. If it was not for our founding fathers getting together in P.E.I. and declaring freedom of religion in our country they would not even be allowed to fly their flag.

Editor blatantly biased in article about WCRI. lawsuit To the editor,

tect us in the tender and minute way he longs to unless we trust His love enough to obey? He said, 1 will not leave you as orphans, I will send the Comforter (the Holy Spirit] to be with you forever. But it’s clearly stated the Holy Spirit is only given to those who are willing to obey (Jn 34:15,16,21,23 & Acts 5:32) Obeying is not really some huge task. Forif we set our heart to discovering who God is and what he wants to do in our life, he will increasingly give U’S the willingness and strength to obey. Now, let’s get personal. Jesus wants to be lord of your life, not because it’s some little fetish of his. He knows that He is the only one in the universe who can control us without destroying us. No one will ever love you -more than Jesus. The last breath Jesus breathed on this planet was for you - Yes you, you know, the one reading this article. He will meet you wherever you are and he will help you change, if you really knoti how much he cares for you and decide to_ follow him. The great and joyful paradox is that while he totally transforms us he makes us more ourselves than ever before. He’s not intimidated by past failures, broken promises, or wounds. He will make sense out of your brokenness. But He lives in the present - today. We can only choose to make him first in our lives today, not next Monday, or after exams. And each day, each minute, we will have the choice to follow Him or not. He doesn’t take away our dignity or make us clones, but allows us to choose. And if we do, we will know His overwhelming love for us and won’t miss out on any of the wonderful plans He has for us. Sharon

Holm

II uw~missing?~ationalism came to our campus

Yours in faith, hope and love, Yours in Christ Jesus, Bob Horton.

He was the Son of God. He said “I and the Father are one” (Jn 10:30). He informed people that knowing him was the same as knowing God (Jn 8:19), seeing him was the same as seeing God (Jn 12:45), believing in him was the same as believing in God [In 12:44] and receiving him was the same as receiving God (Mk 9:37). Let us be careful when we claim that he was merely a good teacher, but not the Son of God. Jesus could hardly have been a good teacher if he was so wrong about the chief subject of his teaching - himself! No one can be a little confused about his own deity and be sane at the same time. So just how did Jesus justify his behavior and claim, that seemed to eventually lead everyone into conflict or cr.isis? The pharisees saw Jesus healing on the Sabbath and asked, “who do you think you are, healing on the Sabbath?“. And Jesus answered, “the Lord of the Sabbath”. His answers’ were often that simple, implying: “I do what I do, because I am the Lord - you are not. You follow me. I do not follow you”.

Editorial mitor-~~ iiZ!kZy=- -Baitor SpmaBditorr ArtmEatom Phuhmitar ’

SteveKannon MikeBruwn

MN.e UDFlSCOU

Mib McGraw, chrisw~Johnz%lc-

Jon

Sadleir FL%hAge

Board

-w==wMm

In the PAC building where everyone can see two flags hang from the north wall with a disgusting thick layer of dust hanging from them. It does not cost that much to have the flags cleaned, but it does not look like our universities administration has the decency or the respect to have these flags cleaned. This university gets much of its funding to perform research to increase our understanding of this. world of ours. Yet the administration does not have the decency to show proper protocol and respect to the Canadian flag. I find it a disgrace to have selected as my place of higher learning a university that shows so little respect for our nation. This university is held in high regard.and honour in the eyes of this country and yet the university turns around and spits in the eye of the people. Campbell -Brooks _ Science 1N

-wrrr4srr, BMimeamnmmQer m

down at night. They are now just showing the lack of respect toward the country that allows them to practise and preach their own teachings.

uurrlf-

MWY Jeddsy Hnathv

NdLaa

AnnaDone Ted G)riesbach Andrea Luxon

All letters

must

be typed

and double

Review misses

spaced

Impimt welcomes letters from our readers. The forum pages are designedto provide an opportunity to present views on various issues. Opinions expressed in letters, columns, or other articles on these pages are those of their author, not Izq@nS. send letters to i3n@xEtclD~ by e-a. Send OP bring letters on paper to Im~,CC14CLLettersonpaper mtrstbefypedand~~eapaoedl!Thedeadlineis 6:00 p.m. Monday. Maximum length is 400 words, although longer pieces may be accepted at the editor’s discretion. AU material is subject to editing.

The Gay ‘Winter by Chris Gerrard Imprint staff

(a pseudonym)

To the editor,

Andrew Rehage’s review of INXS’ latest album “Kick” (Imprint, Nov. 27) is not an accurate depiction of what the band is attempting (and succeeding] to do. The fact that he claims to be a “great fan of INXS” infuriates me! A great fan would remember lead vocalist Michael Hutchence’s remarks on the previous album “Listen Like Thieves”; “. . . We’re just interested in getting songs across and down on vinyl, and not sounds so much. We’ve got some great sounds on the album, but people are probably unaccustomed to hearing guitars unaffected (by electronic synthesizers) and everything on the album is pretty much natural sounding.” Their producer for the last two albums, Chris Thomas, is the only producer to do more than one album with the band. From listening to comments from the band, they are quite obviously pleased with the “low- technology” approach that has led to great backbeat melodies in the rock/funk genre rather than electronic beeps and whistles characterizing much of today’s “mainstream” music. INXS relies headily on the feeling and emotion that is behind each song the band has touched. I’m sure you’ll agree that Shabooh Shoobah does not sound at all electronic but just try to find more emotion! Your reference of “the Beastie Boys singing in the shower”is way off base and completely unfounded. INXS, since its inception in 1977, have topped the music charts in Australia and indeed the world. They’ve created six very fabulous vinyl treasures that will remain timeless. Psycho-Acoustics, a technique of the bands’ to place “intangibles” in the background, ensures that the meaning of the song changes with time, rather than just becoming dated. The Beastie Boys have come and gone. And besides, are you not sick of “Fight for Your Right to Party” yet? Also your comment about “Kick” being lyrically thin was misleading. While the band does not rely heavily on a variety of lyrics, their command over vocal ,expressions is strong: “Words are weapons, sharper than knives, makes you wonder how the other half died”. The band is more interested in feelings, remember? “Kick” is a logical progression for the band. The band is more mature and their music is clearly demonstrating this. The lyrics are just as powerful as they were a decade ago. To truly appreciate the greatness of this band, you must see them in concert: no fancy electronics or theatrics, just raw, vibrant energy. That is INXS. My advice to Mr, “Great Fan” Rehage is to leave INXS alone: They are among the most celebrated rock groups in the worId. They have been since 1983 with their mega-popular album “The Swing”. It is you who has jumped on the proverbial “bandwagon” since you still do not come close to understanding INXS. 1 doubt I ever will. Dave

Rintoul IA Engineering

The body of this column was written by a friend of mine, who has been around for a while, and who is gay. He and the man he is with have been together for more than 26 years. But as he said to me when we talked about this column, and what I was going to write by way of introduction, they are still working at their relationship, and are still growing. This should not be taken as being written by someone who has “made it”, but by someone who is still on the journey that most of us are on. “How could the winter solstice be gay? It is the most depressing time of the year. Suicides, car accidents and loneliness. “Instead of getting brighter each morning after the solstice, the sun hangs back. It gets up later each morning for about a week, then waits another week or more before it wakens you earlier, You would have to ask an astronomer why. “Yet this is the time for festivals of light. Hanukkah is on the 16th of December - the ‘Feast of Lights’ or ‘Dedication’, when family members light the candles of the menora. Christmas, the feast commemorating the birth of the Christian’s Light of the World, is on the 25th. Lights everywhere symbolize the event. “For the Jew, Hannukah is a joyful time celebrating Judas Maccabeus’ returning the sanctuary of the Temple in Jerusalem to purity after it had been profaned by Antiochus Epiphanes (Brown, R.S., J.A. Fitzmeyer and R.E. Murphy, The Jerome Bib/icc11 Commentary, Prentice-Hall, 1968, article 76:159). I experienced Hannukah in the home of a friend where every member of his family participated in the ritual. “For the Christian, preparation for Christmas begins in Advent. Its traditions include the lighting of the four candles of the Advent wreath. Catherine M. Pead (Living with Christ, Novalis, Ottawa, Nov. 8 to Dec. 24, 1987)’ says of the wreath: ‘Imagine (it) is my (your) life story. As I move around the circle, I notice it’s green. It has life in it, hope. I also notice as I movethat a light appears now and then. I can see a little more clearly as I round each bend. Of course+ there is no denying that often I feel hurt and anger, despair and selfishness. Hence, the purple ribbon woven through the green of life. Yet, I also know that, in the light provided as I move around the circle, my suffering takes on some meaning. It becomes my teacher.’ “Both feasts emphasiie the life of the source of the loneliness for both gays “It is perhaps particularly hurtful to little family life of their own to hope

family. That is so often the and straights. gays, because they have so for, Most will never have

Vegetarianism To the editor, Reading last week’s “The Vegetarian World” (Imprint, Nov. 27)

the editor

children. Some may get married and have children, but can such a marriage last? Some do, most do not. “Even gays who are in a ‘relationship+ often find themselves trying to hide from the Christmas season. They go south, if they can afford it, or party until they drop. “And the unattached gay person so often has no home to go to. One or both parents have likely become alienated, If they do not yet know their son or daughter is homosexual, Christmas with parents can become torment for fear they will find out. “So, it takes grace and courage to welcome the winter solstice if you are gay. In spite of all the reasons not to, you hope. “What can you hope for ? Both Jew and Christian hope for growth in holiness. “What a horrible word that seems. It has so often been equated with guilt. None of us is holy; therefore, we should be ashamed. “But the root meaning of holiness is ‘wholeness+ and integrity. For ‘a religious person, this implies a wholeness that includes God at the core of one’s personality. And because God cannot be there unless s/he wants to be, holiness is a gift, not an achievement. You must want it and pray for it. But you cannot make it happen. “And holiness grows. It is never complete. Those most conscious of sin in the Christian tradition are the saints. And theirs is not a false humility. Acuity grows with virtue. Sensitivity to sin, like that of a musician to wrong notes, grows with the ability to avoid the grosser errors of performance. Our technique cannot be perfected beyond the limits imposed by our own strengths and weaknesses, ones over which we have no control. All we can do is continually to critique ourselves, objectively and lovingly, so that we can continue

to perfect

our skills

within

the limits

allowed

us.

“What we hope for in Dedication and Christmas is that growth. We set aside guilt, to hope for increasing inner peace and the joy of G living free of compulsions, addictions, neuroses and guilt. “It is a time to renounce self-hatred. If you have practiced the piano, you know that getting mad at yourself stops, even reverses, the gains that were under way. You become conscious of each note, instead of the phrase. Fingers go rigid. Anger mounts, and the whole episode is more costly than if you had never begun. “It is the progression that counts. Is your piano technique improving gradually and on a sound basis? Are you moving closer to a loving relationship with God? At times it may not seem so. Then you have to go to a wise counselor for help in discerning what is happening. If scruples born of despair are blocking growth, you will be recalled to hope. “What both feasts announce is a rebirth of that hope for all people. We are loved and we can trust. The sun and warmth will return. “We can be gay!” Merry Christmas, everyone. See you next term.

not all or nothing

made me think

about how fruitless strict vegetarianism, what with all the finicky details that were mentioned

it would be to pursue

Bomber exit plan puts icing on cake To

Solstice

ante dictators telling us who’s allowed in. Also, what is to stop someone from the Bombshelter to walk all the way around and enter the CC? Secondly, the exit at the Shelter. What about the patrons who have to leave via the fire exit? (which has to break some code); they have to walk around the patio. I’ve had to do it and there is a big hill on the other side of the patio. Also, there is no direct route to Ring Road. It’s going to be mighty cold and

I have been a long-time visitor of the Bombshelter, 1 feel it is a great place to meet a friend, for a social drink or to get down right pissed. But come on guys, these “new policie’? you are a . have established bit much. The latest is the icing on the cake: after midnight, patrons are only allowed to leave through the rear exit, the fire exit I might add. slippery walking out back this This is all in response to comtime of year and when the snow plaints from the Turnkeys that really begins to fly, I don’t want to drunken customers who wonder have to trot through a foot of it, around the Campus Centre tend to I guess the safety and well-being fall asleep on the couches and, of the students comes second to a from time to time, puke there, clean and empty CC. First off, the CC was built for the _ Give us a break, we’re just out to students of the university without have a good time. any notion of discrimination. _ We * pay our fees so we are entitled to Tom Southon use it; we don’t need some penny-

(avoiding lard, gelatine, rennet, etc, in everyday foods]. Now I agree with the writer of the column that people should be

conscious of and conscieritious about their meat consumption, but 1 think the column has promulgated the idea that there is a moral dividing line between non-meateaters

and those

who

eating eggs, or roasting

enjoy,

say,

up the oc-

casional rabbit. Frankly the kind of all-or-nothing scenario associated with vegetarianism does little to sway me toward the cause. Last week’s column conjured up images of having to go down to the kosher food store to buy salt. Most things in life are a matter of degree anyway - as tomato processors realize in trying to stay below their target of so many maggots per so many kilograms of tomato paste. Vegetarians seem to be too idealist. I had a friend who ate nothing but dust particles, because he said that it was the only ecologically non-intrusive way to obtain

nutrients.

Unfortunately

now he is what he ate. But that’s beside the point - the point is, undertaking any food selectivity program, whether mild or extreme, will leave one open to criticism on philosophical grounds. For instance, how can even a liberal-minded vegetarian justify eating yogourt? The preparation of

this substance, as 1 noticed was shrugged off as an insignificant detail in last week’s recipe, involves borrowing some already existent yogourt. For what purpose, you ask? It is for the purpose of herding a group of highly spemcialized, inbred organisms which are no longer found in the wild into a confined environment where they live for nothing except to gorge themselves and die on the way to the dinner table. Sound familiar? And it’s a safe bet that these unicellular friends of ours don’t photosynthesize while living out their destiny in a dark fridge they just ain’t plan@! Nonetheless, maybe you have a vegetarian regime that is on a solid phiiosophical foundation and can’t be shaken by this type of reasoned criticism. You still must contend with the nightmare of somewhere, somehow, messing up - and destroying your strictly vegetarian status forever. Consider this: Even if you’ve spent a lifetime in diligent shopping and meal preparation to avoid all animal parts, products, by-products and remains, there is one thing you forgot: It is statistically impossible to get through life without consuming a human hair. Tim Rudy 3B Math

,l. Orient&on

Chairperson

We are looking fur a chairperson for the Orientation Committee ‘68. If you would iike to organize a campus-wide party week for fresh and returning students, this is for you. This position is full-time for 10 weeks starting in July wjfh a stipend for May andJune. Please forward applications to Bent in the Federation Office by January 14, 1988.

2. Winter

knowledge of Roberts Rules of Order, Federation By-laws and policies l meetings held Sunday from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. please apply to Lisa Skinner, Federation of Student

5914650 -- Wednesdays, JANUARY

230-7775

- Thurs&s

JANUARY

RPM - 132 Queen’s

< .; :;’ i :.

Quay E. No cover, free buffet. Beer and other specials. Shuttle bus Union station every 15 minutes, ‘)IIIIIIII,~~IIIII,~II~~~IIImII~mmmIm~IImIIIIIIIIInImII--I~

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JANUARY 6 The Annex .I 1445 Bishop St. I (above St. Catherines) L LL,~I~,~~,~~II~IIII------I----

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CALGARY

: *~” . ‘.

1. ,..

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(ask for Sandra

JANUARY 7 I ’ I The Beach (Club Hawaii) 1 718-&h Ave. SW : -----------I-~--~--.~---

JANUARY 13 Cheers 1260 Mackay (just below St Catherines)

Participants

Winter Carnival is a fun week of games and parties scheduled for the week of January 18-23. lf you’re returning next term, keep that week open and get involved - there’s lots to do. lf you’re away next term, come back for the weekend of January 23rd to party with your friends. Contact BEnt for more information.

needed for mdnthly/tri-weekly student council meetings l

Carnival

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JANUARY

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WATERLOO PUBLIC INTEREST RESEARCH GROUP

Inside the holiday meal THE CXEISTMAS FEAST: (excerpt fmm “A .Lmt Supper: Talking -key about Pesticides in Food”,. Ron Laborite, ?hfr Times” Dec. 1985)

A scene out of this year’s Christmas Carol. The dinner: A plump butterball turkey. Roast potatoes. Homemade dressing. Cranberries. And a zesty tossed salad. But if you’re curious about what’s cooking with your cranberries, breathe deep, cinch your belt one notch tighter and discover how each time we lift- fork-tomouth we’re lifti@ contaminants with it. Let’s start by talking turkey. First if it’s self-basting, it’s probably been shot through with additives and growth hormones. Estrogen’s a handy growth hormone. It’s also the cause of some 15,000 cases of endometrial cancer among North American women prescribed the stuff to combat the “disease” of menopause. Though turkeys used to roam wild in the trtie north strong and free, most of them today lead their lives in vast unlit warehouses, munching on pesticide contaminated feed generously laced with

antibiotics to prevent the sundry turkey plagues that come from unhealthy living, There’s another problem with jamming lots of turkeys together under one roof. Lice. And Mites. And other little insects that hop from host to host. But no sweat, eh? Just spray the little critters with organophosphate insecticides. Which brings us to the potatoes. Potatoes are likely to be contaminated with captan, the world’s favourite fungicide and the Canadian centerpiece of the Industrial Biotest (IBT) laboratory scandal. IBT was the largest “independent” testing laboratory in the U,S. In 1977 it was accidentally discovered that IBT had cribbed most of its pesticide safety tests, especially those concerning cancer, birth defects, and mutations. Several pesticide companies (including Chevron and Monsanto) were implicated in the scandal, but criminal charges were laid against IBT officials, only three of whom received jail sentences. In 1983, Ontario farmers used 105,000 kilograms of captan, while two years later the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency [EPA) calculated that a lifetime of eating captan contaminated crops could result in 100 more cancers per

100,M30,people. (That’s about 330 cancer cases a year in Canada . . . more or less.) One of the nice things about pesticides is that you can use more than one of them at a time. So when you roast your potatoes, you’re not only roasting captan but also: - Metiram (Polyram .R], a carcinogen and suspect mutagen; 140,000 kilograms of the stuff was used on Ontario crops in 1983; Chlorothalonil [Bravo .R), another carcinogen and mutagen; 74,000 kilograms were use in Ontario in 1983, much of it on the Hostess potato plantations in Tiny Township and Simcoe County; - Captafol (Difolation .R), an IBT-tested pesticide, Almost 20,000 kilograms of this known teratogen were used in Ontario in 1983; Disulfuton (Di-syston .R), another carcinogen and another IBT-tested pesticide; about 11,000 kilograms were dumped on Ontario crops in 1983. Having ruined your potatoes, 1’11 dispatch the cranberries with merciful speed. The good news is that two df the common chemicals used to choke.out competing “weeds” naptalam [Dynap .R) and chlorpropham (CIPC .R) - are only slightly toxic as pesticides go and

don’t cause cancer or birth defects as far as we know. The bad newsis that what we don’t know ,could stretch halfway from here to Sol; both naptalam and chlorpropham were IBT-tested pesticides for which the pivotal safety studies have been faked. Consider, too, a couple of other cranberry crop protection products Amitrole [Amino-T .R) and Anilazine (Dyrene .R). The first causes cancer and the second is thought to cause birth defects. The dressing can be chucked out with equal haste. Yoii only thought it was bad for you because it -tasted so rich and fattening, eh? Tough luck. Until 1984 almost 14 million kilograms of ethylene dibromide (EDB) were used worldwide, primarily to fumigate stored grains. Regulators knew for a decade that EDB cquld cause cancer; they knew for 16 years that it could cause birth defects. After the scandal broke, EDB was severely restricted in Canada and banned in the U.S. But it *will still take two to three years before all the EDB contaminated grains are out of circulation. That brings us to the salad, the bastion of the meat-weary and comfort to those seeking vitamins, minerals and roughage. Assuming an average tossed salad of lettuce, green onions, cucumber, tomatoes and a green pepper or two, an average pesticide residue will probably include several molecules of the following: - Alachlor (Lasso .R), mostly sprayed on cora but so wide11 used in Ontario that it could crop up anywhere. Another IBT-tested pesticide, alachlor replacement studies found that the herbicide is a potent carcinogen. Recently its

use has been restricted, however, its manufacturer, Monsanto, is appealing the decision claiming that it is safe. Monsanto generates about $100 miIlion a year from Lasso alone. Monsanto, Bayer, and Ciba Geigy account for about 25

per cent of the world’s$20 year pesticide market;

billion a

Diazinon (Basudin .R), a highly toxic insecticide that for years had the reputation of being among the most innocuous of chemical knock-outs. Recent studies have found that Diazinon is a teratogen and may cause chromosome mutations. The list could go on, and on, and o.n. Of the total amount of the 100 or so leading pesticides used in Ontario for agricultural pirrpuses in 1983: 37 per cent have caused cancer in two or more st u&es; another seven percent haveshown some signs of causing cancer; 22 per cent can cross the placental barrier and cause defects to the developing fetus; anot her seven per cent are suspect: four per cent are known to cause chrmosome mutations; 10 per cent probably do likewise. While not all pesticides have been linked to cancers, birth defects, or mutations the Christmas season does provide us with the opportunity to reflect on the presence of questionable chemical substances in the food we eat ,-This doesn’t mean that the 1211 milligrams of pesticide residues we eat each year will give us cancer. nor that a brief exposure to pesticide sprays will deform our babies. For more information on pesticides visit the WPIRG library in the General Service Complex, room 123 (across from the W.G. Davis Computer building].

The Vegetarian.

Why become a vegetarian? by Dawn Miles The people

most

common question ‘I’m asked when find out I’m a vegetarian is “Why?“. Some people can’t understand why anyone would want to be a vegetarian, others are simply curious. I’ve never really given anyone the full

explanation because 1 don’t think it’s appropriate for light conversation. A vegetarian column, however, seems like a more natural venue so I’ll explain

it now.

The reason I don’t eat meat is because I believe that it’s wrong for man to cause animals to suffer and die when it isn’t necessary. This affects other areas of my life as well as my diet; I don’t buy leather or furs and 1 buy cruelty-free make-up. Because of the inhumanities of the battery method of egg production, I am eating less eggs and buying only those that come from free-range chickens. 1 went through a number of stages before I actually decided that I should be a vegetarian. It was a difficult decision because I loved the taste of meat and because 1 didn’t know anyone who was a vegetarian. Still, when the time finally came three years ago to stop eating dead creatures I knew I was

doing

the right

thing.

I never

changed

mind and I haven’t eaten meat since. Even when I was a kid I thought killing animals was bad. A lot of kids do; it’s only as they grow older that they are socialized to believe that animals’ lives don’t matter as much as man’s selfish desires, Children get conflicting messages. They are always told to be kind to Kitty, but if they ask about the meat on their plate they’re told “Just don’t think about it - enjoy your dinner”. Although I didn’t like the idea that an animal had to die for me, I never thought about it too much. After all, I didn’t have to kill it; besides, we have to eat meat because it says so right here in the Canada Food Guide . . .

Help m=

World

will have to reduce the supply and so there will be less animals killed. For example, suppose 1 wanted to buv a whole chicken and so did Mrs. Smith who cake after me. If I bought the chicken, then another one would have to be killed for Mrs. Smith: but if I didn’t buy the chicken then Mrs. Smith would have the one that was already dead. Granted, the second chicken may eventually die for Mr. Brown who comes after Mrs, Smith, but then again it may not. If I no longer take any chickens, then no more will die because of me. People argue that, because that’s what the animals are raised for, it’s okay to kill them for food and that if it wasn’t for that then the animals wouldn’t have been born at all. I believe this is a non-argument; it doesn’t matter if that was what they’ve been raised for because they shouldn’t have been raised for that in the first place. I think that it would be better for these animals to h$ve

never been born than for them to be forced to live lives of suffering, confinement, boredom and violent death. I doubt that I would have felt so compelled to become a vegetarian if it wasn’t for my belief in “doing the right thing”. This is an outdated idea; it’s been replaced by creeds like “doing the thing that is most socially acceptable” and “doing the thing that will make you the most money”. I believe that people should feel responsible for what they do. If you feel that something is wrong-then you have a moral obligation to do what you can ta change it, Even if a lot of effort will only make a little change, this world needs all the improvement it can get. I wish I didn’t feel this way. 1 find it difficult to be different from almost everyone I know. My uncle is a cattle farmer. My dad and my sister fish for sport. A couple of my friends are hunters and

trappers. Sometimes I want to shake them, to harass them until they understand what it is that ‘they’re doing. There are times when I’ve cried, “God, why did you have to make me so different. so weird?“. But there’s nothing I can do: I have nc When I first learned that it wasn’t necessary to choice. I take comfori in other things. By being visibly eat meat to survive I began to think about becomI provide other people with an example ing a vegetarian, The *idea didn’t .last too long: 1 vegetarian so that if they want to become one they know they still loved the taste of a barbequed steak. It was aren’t alone. I’m eating healthier by avoiding easy not to think about where the clean plastic meat. Lastly, I’m secure in the knowledge that I’m packages of meat came from, so 1 didn’t. doing what I believe is right and that the world is a The idea that finally convinced me that I was That’s all I really better place because of it. doing something wrong was that of supply and . demand. If there is less demand then the suppliers

by Peter

Stubley

Your attention please. This column has been taken hostage by the Front for the Liberation of Intelligent Peoples (FLIP). If our demands are not met, this column will be executed in the name of freedom. The column has not yet been harmed, as the headline in the newspaper with today’s date proves, and it will not be harmed as long you do not make a mistake. NOW, we are aware that some of you bourgeois liberal-types have not been politically awakened, and are therefore not familiar with progressive terrorist organizations such as the FLIP. We do not practice terrorism for the neo-fascist goals of political power.

We do not kill politicians, effort. We attack directly

because they are not worth our time and the true oppressors of the people - the

makers of stupid television commercials. These imperialist pigdogs have abused intelligent viewers for far foe long, and we demand immediate action, preferably violent. Our demands are simple. The persons responsible for the following crimes against the intelligent use of the English language

are to be turned

over to us in exchange

for the release

of this

column.

1) The creators of the phrase in the Raid commercial, “Kills bugs dead.” When they are in our hands, we will prove to them that if they have been killed, it is in fact not necessary to state that they are also dead.

2) The person pure.

who ilaims

Pure what?

that Ivory soap is 99and 44/1OO percent in its natural form, as it comes in

Is soap mined

Ivory? 3) The pseudo-scientists who make graphs that show that one pain killer has more medicine in it than another, without considering such insignificant details as effective dosage. 4) Anybody

who makes

FLIP would assassination

also, like

cost.

store.

for the impending

Bell,

We will allpw

this column

Oh, God! Do what aBash

for a furniture

responsibility

of obnoxious vice-president for the Brick furniture We have an assassin to take care of this for us, anywhere in Ontario extra And we don’t pay until 1989.

Micheal

stores. hired at no

a commercial to claim

they

to speak

say. I think

once more: they mean it! Help me! Help,

,.I.

The survival of this column is on your conscience. If our demands are not met, or if you call the police, we will take this column apart one paragraph at a time, and its blood will be on your hands. FLIP Remember.

a waits

your

response.

Game to flaunt your smarts?

THE

QUEST OF

THE

PHILOSOPBER’S

STORE

simply isn’t grist for the idling mental mill of the average Joe - and that includes Joe College!

Q UEST

is a board game that tests your mental mettle in a search for the legendary PHILOSOPHER’SSTONE.It includes some 2,000 brain-teasing questions in 37 categories. Most are solvable in 60 seconds or less, but that presupposes players with a certain minimum of we&functioning little gray cells upstairs. Without them . . . well . . . better stick to Snakes and Ladders.

t the University of Waterloo Games Museum we’re giving away A ten games of QUEST (available in the book store for $35.00) per week. The catch is that you don’t have a chance to win one unless you can answer these three brain teasers from QUEST’S BOOK OF ‘CHALLENGES. They’re ‘set out below. If you’re up to the challenge, clip the form below and bring it to the Games Museum in Bert Mathews Hall by Thursday. If they’re right you have a chance to win one of the ten weekly sets of THE QUEST OF THE PHILOSOPHER’SSTONE!

Answerthesechallengesfor a chance to win a free Game--of TheQuestof thePhilosopher’s Stone. 1. Insert the missing number.

447(366)264 901( ? )523 2, Find the unrelated word. BOGLIN ARWY TGENLE

MPi

3. Answer the following riddle. Hotels sometimes put acrobats on table service as

l LERS.-

TheQuestof the Philoso her’sStone. \ TheIntelligence8 ame. “&uest” EntryForm- December 4 Imprint flame: Address: City: Yostal Code:

My Answer: I. i. 3.

Yhotlr: N 11nhcr: Drop into entry box of Games Museum,

Bert Mathews

Hull before Thursday.

WATERLOO

Many Merritts to Scott’s Princess show by Michele

Mougeot

’

Bruce Cockburn came to the Centre in the Square November 24 to sing about economics and to chat about armadillos. He was burning all night long in what was one of the hottest concerts ever to hit K-W. Cockburn’s return to his solo roots was a treat for more than just his loyal following. . In reality, though, it was anything but a solo show and Cockburn knew it. The audience was not only behind him, but it fired him. This time, the emphasis was on simplicity - Cockburn traveled light with only a handful of roadies and the only stage show was his rapport with the audience. It was a give and take affair as the audience affirmed that going solo was the right move. As usual, the acoustics at the Centre were excellent and Cockburn’s dynamic vocals filled the Square. His early classical training was evident in his virtuosic command of the guitar. With seeming effortlessness, he achieved musical and poetic eloquence. In typical style, he tossed around no concert cliches. The focus was on the music, which was virtually flawless. A good cross-section of material was presented, with equal emphasis on old and new. He opened with three songs

The lyrics, which may at first seem simple, are actually multilevelled and lend well to subjective interpretation. Merritt’s earlier songs covered such universal themes as the effects of technology, anthropocentricism, and the modern cold war mentality. In his newest compositions, Merritt chose instead the smaller scale, preferring to explore his home city and its characters. These songs,according to Merritt, are “generally more organic than the previous material - they’re a bit more grassroots”. Included in the performance were the currently unreleased wild Kingdom, Burning Train, Are You Sending, Copetown, Aladdin’s Crime and Across the BIuefieJd, which was played as an encore. Due to be released as early as this spring, these are an affirmation that Merritt is developing as a wellrounded musician.

The ‘instrumentals were interwoven in a rich tapestry of melody, harmony and counterpoint. Complex, innovative chord changes and variedsensibilities added to the evening’s sustained, airy tension. instead of being a wall of sound, the music traveled in waves, as the instruments were alternately highlighted, and not everyone played at once. Balance and spacing were as important as, and part of, the music itself.

Cockburn’sCen by John Hymers and Michele Mougeot

While performing, Merritt accentuated meaning with a variety of gestures and exaggerated expressions that were not lost in the ideal setting. His smooth, expressive voice sounded+ at times, like Springsteen or Cockburn or, well, like Merritt.

drew enthusiastic applause from the seat-boppin’ crowd. iLockstep built with warning dissonance, “just one false step and it’s all history with no one left to write it down .*. no one to right it”. Not all songs ’ carried such heavy themes and Merritt’s wry humour was more than evident as he prefaced selections with amusing anecdotes. One very comical story was about a rowdy 16-year-old who was charged to chaperon and chauffeur (and terrorize] a priest and six nuns during a trip to Ft. Lauderdale. The band was obviously having fun and indulged in occasional theatrics, such as when Merritt challenged Woodhead to a musical-physical duel x of guitars. Clergy)

The Scott Merritt Band played two concerts back to back at the Princess Cinema November 22, enabling everyone to get a seat in the kind of intimate setting that Scott likes best. Hardly a stranger to this neck of the woods, this singerisongwriterjguitarist from Brantford is a local favourite on the rise. Merritt’s is one happenin’ band (Bob Disalle - drums, Matt Zimbel percussion, David Woodhead - bass, Doug Wilde - keyboards] composed of talented musicians with diverse backgrounds. The band was tight: there was subtle interplay among all members and superb instrumentation throughout. The focus was on the music, not on an elaborate stage show - the only special effects were in the music. The band kicked-off the evening with an electrifying extended version of the well known Transistor. This was the only song from Serious Interference as Merritt chose to cover his newer material from Gravity Is Mutual, including several unreleased songs. Overworked and Underprivileged, No Shirt No Service and Raise Q Ship (For the Benefit of

played on acoustic guitar, including the new unreleased Gospel of Bondage with musing lyrics. He prefaced many of his songs and this one he referred to as being about right wing Christianity: “Although I’m a Christian, I’m not one of those.” An electrical treatment of two songs followed, including crowd favourite Tokyo, which he referred to as “one of a collection I’m building of songs with urban

tre show a real wonder

I’

a monologue about economics and pop songs. Cockburn explained that he used to think that economics was a strange topic for pop songs unti1 he realized that this was the topic of most pop tunes. “This song just happens to say so”. Several numbers had to be rearranged, as in the case of Berlin Tonight, which was complemented well by acoustic guitar. He played Santiago Dawn with the emotional intensity suiting to a tale about shantytown dwellers who have “nothing to lose by taking exception to the status quo.. . To keep a million homeless down takes more than a strong arm up your sleeve.+’ Cockburn did not stick solely with his acoustic and electric guitars and the occasionally kicked wind-chimes. Santiago Dawn was played with a Chilean instrument called a charango; looks like a baby guitar which prompted him to remark “isn’t it cute!” Traditionally, charangos are made from armadillo shells, but Cockburn assured the crowd that “no armadillo gave its life for this instrument”; his charango was made of wood. Cockburn shunned all strings to play StoJen Land, opting to belt it out to a Bo Diddly beat with a native hand drum. Cockburn played his emotional songs with an intensity that was never lost. He smiled when he was applauded and it

Brooooce titles”. Missing from his most recent performance at the Centre, this song was heartily welcomed back. The World of Wonders album was well represented. Call Jt Democracy was introduced with

when songs;

his fans recognized he seemed to enjoy

the him-

self. And why not - he deserved to.

Something fishy went on at Stages by Britta Bia and Carol Cambre Stages downtown Kitchener shook, bounced and went bippity boppity boo to the pulsations from the Northern Pikes on November 25. The band played to a full house who started dancing when they opened with Jackie T and didn’t stop, even after the band left the stage. Blinding lights accompanied the Pikes as they stomped, whomped and strummed their way through the evening. Their performance was more than a mere regurgitation of music, it had the added dynamics of a visual performance. Merl danced all over the stage and Bryan Potvin jumped into the crowd and strolled on top of the bar. The sound

was album-quality

and so

powerful that you could only stop yourself from boppid if you crazy-glued your feet to the floor. In addition to their more popular tunes, Teenlund, Love in a Muscle, You Sold the Farm and other songs from the Big Blue Sky album, they played cover versions of Little Sister, Mirror

in the Bathroom, and Dancing with Myself. sa Although the band has only been around for about four years they are receiving extensive exposure as a result of their planned tours with The Alarm and The Kinks. BEnt programmer Manny Patterson was there and booked the Pikes to play Fed Hall on February 5. They’ve also recently opened for Hunters and Collectors, Bowie, Aztec Camera, Will .and the Kill, and the Fixx. In addition, Northern Pikes hope to have their next album out in july. Despite their busy schedule and the business they are in, these clean-cut country boys from Saskatchewan remained sober throughout the performance and were seen drinking wine coolers rather than beer. Whoa!! ‘Apart from’ a small incident where Bryan sat on a cup of water which obnoxiously decided to explode all over his derriere and leave a moist wet spot on it for the rest of the event, the night quickly passed and left a multitude of exhausted but happy fans.

Coward’s Hay Fever nothing to sneeze at -

by Ron

Lalonde

One day, many years ago, dogs were barking, birds were chirping, squirrels were busily gathering nuts and putting them away for the long, cold winter ahead, and the Federation of Students decided to form tive Arts Board.

The purpose to sponsor

the Crea-

of the board

the artistic

was

endeavors

of the student body. creating works of literature, music and drama which could be enjoyed (and hopefully participated in] by the entire student population. Since that time, many students in math, engineering and science have satisfied their hidden artistic tendencies through the board, and many have found the expcrience both challenging and enlightening.

Wait! you say. Have I just been Upstage Productions is one This fall, Upstage is producing Noel Cuward’s classic r;omedy, duped into readin another successful group particularly cheap piece of advertising disthat has been sponsored by the Hay Fever. This comedy of (bad) guised as a news article? Yes!! will be shown Deboard. In the past, Upstage has , manners But there’s more! You too can cember 3, 4, and 5 in the Theatre been responsible for highly reparticipate in a show! Anyone spected and profitable reviews of the Arts at 8 p.m. -with a spewilling to help can like Honest Fed’s Discount cial matinee performance at 1 and anything contact the CAB chairperson, p.m. on December 4. Tickets are Comedy Warehouse. Its Dan Perron, at ext. 2340. available at the Humanities members have also participated So come on out and enjoy the Theatre box office or any BASS in such productions as last show. The dogs and birds and outlet, or at the door, all for the year’s The Mousetrap, and the yearly FASS show. . . i 1 : i .,inqwU&htwd~w p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=~~~t~~*

Kitchener twins eclipse three men by Andrew Rehege Imprint staff

Three Men And A Baby is the first good light-hearted comedy I have seen in some time; it is a steady stream of one liners and sight gags. . The story, adopted from the French film Trois Hommes Et Un Couffin written by Coline Serreau, is rather simplistic and revolves around a small baby left at the doorstep of three sexually outgoing roommates. Each one of them is the last person you would want to leave a child with. The only major twist in the plot comes when the three unwilling heroes are unwittingly involved with a pair of drug pushers. Caught between the police and the badguys, the triomanages to foil the crooks and get themselves out of a big mess. The movie itself is very glossy and comes across like a two hour commercial. The cinematography is excellent, with strong images and steady pans that give a very immediate-feel to the film. Leonard Nimoy’s direction drags the viewer at a rapid pace and holds yorir attention with an abundance of laughter. While the film supposedly takes place in New York, the viewer [if Canadian) is given a very strong Canadian feel from it. References to New York are limited to a couple of occasions and the shots filmed in the city of Toronto are very characteristic of our province’s capital.

Tom Selleck manages to escape from his stringent Magnum character and gives a good performance. Of the three men, his character Peter is the most responsible. He takes it upon himself to provide little Mary with all the necessities in hilariously inept way.

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Learn about a career in Art Therapy while gaining knowledge through a workshop where no prior art background is necessary.

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Steve Guttenburg plays his usual character rote: the seminormal wi’mp. His character, . Michael, is developed just enough to keep continuity through out the film. His acting is consistent with that of his previous films and his character is not given any real dimension. Of course, the show stealers are Lisa and Linda Blair, the Kit-r chener twins who both portray baby Mary. Forget it. You won’t be able to tell one from the other. Their baby antics are hilarious and will keep you in stitche’s. The only drawback is that the film overdoes the “baby poop” jokes.

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Jump To Conclusions - Scott McGregor Moore: Moore has developed a sound that is hard to pin down; in other words, Moore sets his boy meets girl lyrics to music that went through a top40 blending. Taking A Walk - The Fatales: There is no Velvet Underground inspiration here. Say, are you familiar with Katrina and the Waves?

by John Hymers Imprint staff

In Demand is a compilation album of Toronto bands which provides no motivation whatsoever for anyone to buy it. The majority of music on the album is too mainstream for alternative fans; the record company is too obscure and the band names are too weird for ,mainstream fans. The album lacks a single sound, so a track review is in order. The Right Thing - Eva Everything: She has a nice voice but her accompanying music is as bland and programmed as robot sex. The album also contains an extended mix of this same song; there is no noticeable difference except for the length. ,s.

,....

., ,I

.‘_

‘1,.

‘:

Keep Peace In Sight - Chopsticks Haul Water: Best described as reggae with a disco beat and bleeding heart lyrics. Sample: “Let the leaders who need war/ play monopoly on the floor.” No kidding. The band also plays two other songs on the album, Saying Yes, and Light of Q Dove. Neither song much comment except that Light of a Dove is the last song on the album. Images (Are Drugs] - Omaha: The lyrics are very good and the music radically breaks out of the top-40 mold sort of minimalist-synthesizer. Not my style but A-plus for effort, Omaha has an &her song on the

album called Fading in the Distance which lost my interest but perhaps it will gain the interest of New. Order who inspired, if not wrote, this song. Smock Dab F OD: The only song on the album withanyguts; it has the distinction of being almost the only song on the album that I will listen to again. Canada Ha Ha Kurt Swinghammer: A cool song with funny and poignant lyrics aimed at middle class culture; its unconventional lyrics are refreshing compared to the otherwise bland lyrics on the disk Images (Are Drugs] Nothing But a Dream - Surge Forward: A truly haunting song, not too alternative but still beautiful. If all pop were written this way, I’d listen to CHYM. Charm - Radio Silence: The song sounds like Tangerine Dream and is good in that respect, However, it sounds like any other synthesizer dominated song that I’ve ever heard - well done but boring. I’m sure sure that Toronto can do better than this.

by lohn Ryan Imprint staff The Fall do disco, can you credit it? I know Smith and the gang have been cleaning up the sound, sharpening the rock attack, but this is a bit much. This would not sound out of place at ye olde Fed Halle! Don’t get me wrong, I like this song (and at-

Stereo

cable 105.7

94.5

LW TW 1 2. Grapes of Wrath .................... bTreehouse (Nettwerk) 4 2. Jane Siberry........................ The Walking (Duke St.) 8 3. Gruesomes .............................. Gruesomania (Og) 9 4. Love & Rockets ................ Earth Sun Moon (Polygram) - 5. Messenjah Cool Operator (Version] 12 6. PIL ............................................... : : 1:. ..... .. Happy? (Virgin) 20 7. Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper ........... Bo Day Shus (Enigma) 5 8. Housemartins .......... The People Who Grinned .. (MCA] 2 9. Sting.. ....................... .Nothing Like the Sun (A&M) 15 10, Guadalcanal Diary ........................... .2X4 (WEA) Top

by Renate Sander-Regier Imprint staff Having been tipped off, by an unnamed source, that The Art of Noise was “electronic garbage”, 1 sat back, with some trepidation, to listen to the album. I was forewarned, forearmed, and prepared to write it off in a short, disparaging review. Imagine my surprise when one listenable song after the other spun out from under the needle. Not only were the songs listenable, they were also highly sophisticated in both instrumentation and sound engineering. Granted, they are greatly electronic, but the basic gpitar, bass, drums, and percussion are oft& featured. I found the music, especially pieces such as Opus for Four and Ode to Don Jose, inspirational, Visions of innovative contemporary dance choreography raced through my mind as I listened. Although the overall tone is contemnorarv. each side has its more tr’aditiiial flashes. The harmonious Debut on side one, a soothing arrangement for strings, directed by John Giorgiadis, transforms, with a linking phrase from the previoys

I D&&q

,pjq

“’

I ..f::,,;.‘.

#h+qwh& _, .., “.

::L ..

,...

: ,..‘~

Toronto’s

perenAia1

bar

Program

band,

that most beast -

popularity and financial security. With their latest effort, Tonight, they have finally honed the formula they were developing on their previous record, Con Test. Mind you, I don’t blame FM

New

Adds Tornado (Polygram) Just West of Something Big .Deception (Chrysalis]

Notes

On FM Mag December 4, a Rare Air interview, and on December 18 the Big Year in Review Show, a one hour special 4:30-5:3o p.m. Monday, December 21, a special Christmas Jazz Presentation. Live from the studios of 94.5 FM listen for Some Cliches Wither. Finally, good luck on exams to all and to all a safe and happy festive season from your onIy alternative.

UNIVERSITY

OF WATERLOO

BAND CONCERT

GREAT HALL, CONRAD GREBEL COLLEGE

Ihgnet, into the pulsating elecronic E.F.L., slightly reminiscent of the opening bars from Michael Jackson’s Thriller Counterpoint, on side two, features the Ely Cathedral Choir, directed by -Dr. Arthur Wills. The voices sound angelic - in contrast to the down-to-earth, quotidian dialogue and the tiarsh, roaring engines of the preceding A Day at the Races. The same choir surfaces again in Nothing ~17s going to stop them then,

anyway.

for taking the middle of the road. They’ve been working hard for many years and if anyone deserves to make a few bucks - it’s certainly these guys.

by Peter Stathopulos Imprint staff

FM, has been hunting elusive two-headed

1. Rainmakers .............................. 2. Various Artists ................... 3. Colourfield .............................

: :

tendant re-mixes) but I hope it doesn’t indicate what the next album will be like. But I’m not worried, the Fall often release their stranger experiments as singles, leaving the “serious” stuff for their long players. For rocking good times: check out their last single: Ghost In My House ,a spookily faithful reworking of the Holland-DozierHolland hit. Or even better, last year’s celebration of the Domesday Book’s nine hundredth anniversary, Bend Sinister. A new album out soon please, until then Hit The North will keep my toes a-tapping and my hips a-shaking.

But what happened to their drummer? I look at the new album, and the only iwo original members left are Nash the Slash and Cameron Hawkins. And there are two other, very glamorous-looking professionals on electric guitar and replacement drums. Who are these guys? What’s happened here? The Platinum Blonde effect - Canadian glamour rock. Tonight is very much a style record. There isn’t too much emphasis placed on content (most

Also worthy __ of mention is the haunting _ Galleons of- Stone,1 a _ theme which recurs throughout and Crusoe, a the album, dreamy, fluid melody with a realmost intoxicating laxing, rhythm, Especially attractive on this album are the often imperceptible transitions between songs. Despite the stark contrasts between certain pieces, the listener is left with an impression of smoothness and unity - a sign of finesse, not garbage. of the songs are about love.. ho hum.) Already, the two singles, Dream Girl, and Magic are receiving strong support on the national level. As with most records of this age, there is more experimenting with synthesizers. Also, the addition of a lead guitarist helps Nash split the workload and gives the band a richer, fuller sound. A bonus for long-time fans is a studio version of FM’s usual closing number, The Beach Boys’ Good Vibrations. As much as I enjoyed the old FM, without the gimmicks and glamour, I think that now they are finally dressing the part of the hunters. FM has that elusive beast of mass popularity in their sights and it’s !efinitely in their range. l

Saturday, December 5, 1987 at 8:OO pm Concert Band: George Holmes, Director Stage Band: Micheal Wood, Director $5.00 Adult ($3.00 Student/Senior) _

Tickets available at Conrad Grebel College and at the door Presented by Conrad Grebel College in co-operation with The Federation Of Students/Creative Arts Board

“Good for what ails ya!” -DR. DISC

NOW TWO KITCHENER LOCATIONS 150 KING

ST. W., &

172 KlNG

ST. W.,

(FORMERLY RECORDS ON WHEELS)

74-3-8315

by Chris wadskau Imprint staff What’s this? An indie cassette that’s not of the hardcore persuasion? Yeah, and in the words of Yoda, “Bad, it’s not.” Out of the remnants of Toronto club scene relics Movtig Target2 comes this cassette by Swedish Fish, a talented band

have something established. in its own right that’s made even more relevant to UW masses by Jangly guitar-strumming on the fact that bassist Austin So songs like Allison is offset by attends this fine institution. exotic sprays of synthesizers An immaculately produced and Roxyesque guitar licks, not eight songs, even to the point of to mention Martha Bouchier’s being almost over-produced in searching, piercing vocals- And the case of Heaven on Earth’s then they plunge into some bombastic synths, make this a _ pretty hard funk-rock fare in a showcase for a varied band that Shriekback vein on Profit, before they slide into Seconds not only knows its way around a which sounds like fairly innocustudio, but has a stranglehold on ous synth-pop until a passionate that most elusive and vital of guitar solo a la Phil Manzanera qualities: songwriting. This is a snakes through. band that knows the secrets of Then check the flip for a remix enticement and building an of Who Is God from a seven-inch atmosphere of musical tension, EP of a couple of’years ago and not revealing everything at once, but never letting up once they the sombre piano arrangement of

Yoko

Ono’s

Death

of Samantha

which has Martha sounding something like Yoko (which may or may not be a good thing depending on your taste. Swedish -Fish play around the area and on the basis of this, it

from a whisper to scream, from a shuffle to a stomp, etc., etc. Rare Air live and in concert December 5, at the Princess. Yeah, I like it. The droning pipes, and the sometimes pounding drums do not exactly capture the sound of the Swans but this by lobn Ryan album does have some of the eleImprint staff ments of noise rock. It also has a funk bass and a neat whistle Rare Air are coming to town, sound. By now it should it be December 5 at the Princess go obvious that I can think of sodsee them. all to say about this album Back home the kid next door except that I like it. I’m not sure plays the bagpipes. He is the why, but I do. It’s end of term and only person in the world that I - I have better things to do than know personally who plays make up things I don’t mean to them and he hates me. Rare Air fill a couple of columns. make a good case for the further That’s Saturday night - 6 use of bagpipes. Princess St .+ Waterloo. Don’t forget Saturday night at Rare Air’s album is good. the Princess. They’re supposed to be hot flamRiding the crest of this folk ing death screaming out of the revival wave we hear so much sun live. I plan to see you at the about and so little of, Rare Air Princess on the 5th when this make a Celtic folk-funk noise Celtic juggernaut rolls into town that cooks. On the all instrumenand blows the roof off the place tal Hard To Beat, Rare Air go with their bagpipe army.

by Paul Done Imprint staff

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would seem that they’re a good gamble live. As for this, I wouldn’t drive all the way to Toronto just to buy it, but if you should find yourself in a store that sells demos and indie cassettes, Swedish Fish is eminentlv worth asking for.

Adrian Sherwood, who adds another level of mist and mystery to the mix. The result is a dense and claustrophobic account of one man’s paranoid vision. Just as the Mark Stewart’s Conspiramu1 tinat ional-based cies are on a transcontinental scale, the music of Mark Stewart & the Maffia encompasses the N.Y.C. funk knowhow of Doug Wimbish, Keith Leblanc and Skip McDonald, who make up the Maffia, with Mark Stewart’s UK industrial cut-ups and Adrian Sherwood’s production techniques - honed while recording myriad dub reggae LPS. After a series of paranoid singles, Mark Stewart’s first LP is just as intense and unique as any of the singles. Like a musical gobstopper, each suck on Mark Stewart reveals new layers of taste and colour. This is definitely candy for the mouth.

rmpdaxt,&, This is not to slight the other three tunes, which all work well on their own terms. You’re Q Good Man Albert Brown is a nearly-perfect Beatles parody, with a dash of Herman’s Hermits thrown in. The Mole From the Ministry is drenched in ear-bending sound effects and features an eerie, spiralling chorus. The wacked-out guitar on My Love Explodes sounds somehow jangly and Indian at the same time. And the record ends on an appropriately hilarious note; My Love Explodes fades out to the recorded voice of a critic slagging the song as an abomination It’s a credit to XTC (who are the band behind the Dukes] that what they toss off as a lark stands up well beside most “serious” neo-psychedelia.

by Derek Weiler Imprint staff The Dukes of Stratosphear have returned with this foursong EP of tongue-in-cheek neopsychedelia. The real high point here is Vanishing Girl [which, like You’re a Good Man Albert Brown, is taken from the Dukes’ new import-only LP Psionic Psunspot). Concise, compact, and with nreat vocals and music to match,“Vanishing Girl stands as an excellent song, and not just an excellent Sixties send-up.

Record Store’s Top Eight Records/Tapes/CDs Record For 1. 2. 3. 4, 5. 6. 7. 8.

Store Top Eight the week ending

I wsuld not go as far as describing the November 29 Kitchener Waterloo Philharmonic Choir’s presentation at the Centre in the Square in the same terms. But I will say that the performance was, ,a11‘things co&idered, worthy of the great Messiah tradition.

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Handel’s Messiah for the Christmas Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without a performance of Handel’s Messiah, the most frequently performed oratorio of any composer. The first Dublin performance (1742) of the Messiah was praised in Faulkner’s Journal: “The Sublime, the Grand, and the Tender, adapted to the most elevated, majestik, and moving Words, conspired to transport and charm the ravished Heart and Ear.”

Records/Tapes/CDs November 30

Smiths . ..**.**.*..*.**m.....*.*.. Strangeways, Here5 We Come Jane Siberry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Walking Housmartins . . . The People Who Grinned Themselves to Death Bryan Ferry.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bete Noire Soundtrack .*.....*..*...I*,....*..*....*...... Dirty Dancing Steve Winwood . . . . . . . . . . . ..~.*.***~**~~~*.~....... Chronicle George Harrison .***.........*.................*.. Cloud Nine Screaming Blue Messiahs.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . Bikini Red

The voice of middle America has returned. Musically, he has altered his distinctive Mellencamp sound, but thematically, nothing has changed. The basic Mellencamp sound is still there. The thumping snare drum, grinding acoustic guitar

by Renate Sander-Regier Imprint staff

lust Arrived 1. 2, 3. 4. 5.

by Mike McGraw Imprint staff

Mall

of yaterloo

and rustic vocals characterize every song, But this time around, he’s added the festive sounds of an accordion. In every number, its presence compliments the already identifiable Mellencamp style. On light-hearted numbers like Hard Times For AR Honest MQII and Hotdogs and Hamburgers, the accordion adds life and enhances the airy feelings of the music, Yet on more driving and resounding numbers like We Are The People and Paper In Fire, it helps drive home the more serious nature of the music. Lyrically, Mellencamp continues his portrayal of the comman’s plight. The mon unemployed factory worker

maadber$1887

with hungry kids,. the fourth grader with a drunken father, the burned out divorcee they’re once again represented in Mellencamp’s lyrics. Although the theme has become somewhat redundant+ Mellencamp seems to pursue this concept of “little America” in a unique and intelligent manner. Nowhere is this more evident than in We Are The People, a serious number written in the same vain as an offering from his last album Rain On The Scarecrow Another solid effort from the man most likely (and most deserving] to steal the Workingman’s Rocker title from Springsteen.

a must season

The instruments - the whole range of strings complemented by two oboes, two bassoons, two trumpets, timpani, organ, and harpsicord - provided strong yet gentle accompaniment to the voices singing the text. The voices - of the soloists and the choir - energetically interpreted Handel’s oratorio. My only complaint would be against the choir members who never failed to rise noisily from their seats. The low rumble which accompanied their movements distracted from the atmosphere of the music. I suppose it would have been cruel to force them to stand the whole time, but. . . A highly acclaimed artist who is in constant demand in Canada and the USA, tenor Mark DuBois. the first soloist. Bave the oratorio a dynamic $t&t. His voice, pure and clear, he kept under masterful control. . . . -’

A performer who is equally at home on the European stage as on the Canadian, baritone Bruce Kelli, did an admirable job with the bass, although his lower range left a little to be desired. Prize-winning mezzo-soprano Catherine Robbin, known internationally for her renditions of Baroque oratorio, lucidly executed her pieces in a deep, resonant voice. Soprano Heidi Geddert, equally comfortable in opera, oratorio, and recital, stole the show with her rich, vibrant voice and sensitive, expressive interpretation. The music director of the choir, Howard Dyck, drew out from the choir a well-balanced blend of voices, and integrated the choral, the solo, and the instrumental into a harmonious and radiant version of the /IMe:siah :*1 :6i .$ . j rr’ i / I& , ,_, l

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March13,1988 Haydn:CrenttonCenrrein theSquare VictorSawa, Director i

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University

Theatre of the Arts

Thursdays, 4:30Xx30p.m. ConradCrebelCollege, Room 156

Mondays,7-9p.m. ConradGrebelCollege, Room156

of Waterloo Music Ensemble Programme Sponsored by Conrad Grekl College and the Creative Arts Board, Federation of Students

Thursday, December 3, $4.00 Feds 8:00 pm Friday, December 4, $5.00 Others Saturday, December 5, Tickets available at the Humanities Theatre Box Office, the Fed Office, or at the door.

Matinee Friday, December 4, Tickets available at the door only.

1:OO pm

$3.00

CTr By sp&l

amngefnent

with Samuel French

Amiable Einstein relativelyentertaining by Renate Sander-Regier Imprint staff

Albert Einstein wrote in 1918 that the natural scientist, the painter, the poet, and the speculative philosopher try to make their vision of the world - a picture which they have made in a manner which suits them best the pivot of their emotional lives so as to find the peace and security which lacks in the “all-toonarrow realm of swirling personal experience.” At the sold-out November 20 performance of Einstein in the Theatre of the Arts, the audience was caught up in the calm pool of Einstein’s world of science, as well as in the whirlpoal of his “swirling personal experience.” The play is set in Einstein’s Princeton study during his 70th year. He has a dinner to attend that evening, and he is half dressed for it: white shirt and tuxedo trousers. He declares that the introductions at such functions are tedious (he doesn’t know if he csn believe all that is said), and that dinners take long (he would probably rather be working at a new discovery). He has been asked to give a lecture, but it doesn’t have to be on any specific topic, He figures they believe that a 70-year-old

can’t keep his mind on one topic: that he is bound to ramble. And that is exactly what he does while he amiably chats with the audience. Padding around the stage barefoot (socks are unnecessary complications; they only produce.holes), he reminisces about and wanders through his life. His parents were worried that he might be retarded because he started talking rather late. They were told, when they sought vocational counsel for their son, that he “will never be a success at anything.” He was later expelled from school; when he asked his “sergeant” teacher the reason, he was told that he asked too many questions, and that when he wasn’t asking questions, he had a look like he was about to. Einstein stressed “it is never a mistake to question,” and “the important thing is never to stop questioning,” He hates to memorize. He has no memory for details; “that is for the psychoanalysts.” He doesn’t like politics. “Politics is for the moment; an equation is for eternity.” Religion doesn’t mean much to him. He wasn’t raised in a religious atmosphere: in, fact, his parents sent him to a Catholic school. Yet he has always been

‘interested in how God created the world. Even more interesting is the question of whether Cod had any choice in the matter. The distinction between God and the devil is not clear to him. He views the difference in mat hemat ical ‘terms: “one has a plus in front of it, one has a minus.” Some of Einstein’s thoughts on war: “A scientist belongs to the world in times of peace but to his country in times of war” (to Einstein’s chagrin); “War is not a p.arlour game where the players obediently stick to the rules”; next world war after the - “The next one will be fought with rocks.” Einstein’s hum.our is skillfully balanced with his more serious thoughts, and contributes enormously to the success of the play. For example, he never travels first class: “it doesn’t arrive any sooner.” The professors at the university regard him as a “museum piece. ” “Did you know that everyone has a car in California?” Due to illness Peter Boretski, who has been performing the one-man play since 1985, could not appear in the role of Einstein. He was replaced by Christopher Britton, who did an admirable! job considering he had had only nine days of rehearsal. Britton has an excellent voice, and not once do I recall him fal-. tering in his lines. Yet his German accent was inconsistent, and the few German words that he uttered, hardly recognizable. Nevertheless, he endeared the character of Einstein to the audience, and had them roaring with laughter. He hardly could

Mystery ‘.* LIMITED W4

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a life’s work, there is not one idea about which I’m certain”;“At 70 years I can look back on the follies of my life, and the most recent ones are the greatest”. . “Death alone can save one from blunders.”

Hip .Happenings Chestnuts roasting on a there, things just getting a little misty-eyed and sentimental around here what with this being the last issue of the term and the definite possibility of us being well on the road to ruinous and obliviating inebriation by the time you read this. but we’re not ones to waok around with our own probIems while you’re wondering what to do with yourself until January 4. If you’re not one of the privileged few who’ll be attending the Imprint bash tonight [at last report, all those weaselly Imprint dudes were still dateless, girls), chances are (maybe) that you’ll be checking out Montreal pseudocore wunderkinds The Doughboys along with The Problem Children (from Dunnville, Ont.!) and those notorious, introverted local-faves, The Nunf=====s down at the Victoria Park Pavilion for the hardcore show of the decade, or at least the week. This an all-ages fling and will be over around 11:30 so all those high school brats can catch the last bus, so if you’re one those fashionably late types, you’re probably gonna feel pretty stoopid. sorry

Trivia Giveaway

Going to Trawna tonight? Prepare for some gin-swillin’ and some downhome preachin’ and rantin’ at the El Mocambo with Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper. But if you’d rather keep your ears free of ringing and your head filled with healthy brain cells, there’s also the latest in KW Symphony Orchestra’s Masterpiece Series tonight at Centre in the Square featuring such promising young composers as Haydn and Sibelius. And then there’s yet anot her Creative Arts Board presentation of Noel Coward’s Hay Fever at Theatre of the Arts running until Saturday night. And this zany concert scene is a-happenin’ again tomorrow night with gaelicifolkyrnutty kinda guys Rare Air blowing up a storm with their bagpipes at The Princess. See John Ryan’s record review fo,r more on them. Or walk, crawl, or preferably drive to University of Guelph’s University Centre Room 113 where our moles tell us DOA or NoMeansNo or both will make it hard to talk about that killer Veterinary Science essay, As for the coming week, well, if your exams don’t start for a

No.lO

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Humanities Hageg Hall

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7:00 p.m. January 4, 5 & 6, 1988

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Now Playing (Weekly

Film

Compiled

Guide)

by Ed Drasa

The following venues show obscure and more wellLknown films on ’ campus and nearby. If you have a free night (hah) go see a movie as a break or as an enjoyable form of education. Send me suggestions or info on films that are happening. Use inter-office mai1, or come by CC and leave mail with the Turnkeys. Forget school. Enjoy yourself. FED FI.,ICKS (FF), Arts Lecture Hall 116 ($1 Feds, $3 Non) FEDERATION HALL, (Films start again next term.) ST. PAUL’S (STP), French Lounge, in French only (Free.) KITCHENER PUBLIC LIBRARY (KPL), 85 Queen at Weber (Free.] PRINCESS CINEMA, 6 Princess St. ($2.75 Members, $4 Non) GORGE CINEMA, 43 Mill St., Elora ($3 Members, $4 Non) FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4, LAST DAY OF CLASSES: FED HALL - No film. (films start again next term) STP La Couleur Pourpre (USA 1985, sur vido) a 18h30. FF The Witches Of Eastwick (w/ Cher) at 7&g. WLU-SU - No film. (starts again next term) PRINCESS Monty Python and the Holy Grail at 7. Full Metal Jacket (d: Stanley Kubrick] at 9. GORGE Roxanne (d: Steve Martin, 1987) at 7&9:10. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5, CONSTITUTION DAY, USSR: FF The Witches Of Eastwick [USA, 1987) at 7&9. PRINCESS - No Movies (Rare Air ploys- calI 885-2950) GORGE Roxanne (w/ Darryl Hannah) at 2, 7 & 9:lO. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6, INDEPENDANCE DAY, FINLAND: FF The Witches Of Eastwick (w/ J. Nicholson) at 8. PRINCESS Full Metal Jacket [UK, 1987) at 7. Monty Python And The Holy Grail at 9%. GORGE Roxanne (Hollywood’s Cyrano de Bergerac) at 2. The Mystery of Picasso (France, 1955) at 7&9. MONDAY,

DECEMBER

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FED HALL - No film. (films in January) PRINCESS Rebecca (directar: Alfred Witchcock; 1940) at 7. Restless Natives (music by Big Country) at 9:30. GORGE The Mystery of Picasso (art/fiim mlange) at 7&9. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8, IMMACULATE CONCEPTION: PRINCESS Restless Natives (Scottish comedy) at 7. The River (director: Jean Renoir) at 9. GORGE Working Girls [USA, 19871 at 7&9. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9: No films during exam period. (starts again next term) CG PRINCESS The River (India, 195 1) at 7. Static (eccentricity in conformin) at 9:20. GORGE Working Girls (prostitution, NYC] at T&9; THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10: PRINCESS Children Of A Lesser God [USA, ~1986) at 7, Static (d: Murk Romanek; USA, 1987) at 9:20, GORGE The .Whistle Blower (w/ Michael Caine) at 7&9:1O. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20: KPL Babar & Father Christmas w/ Christmas Raccoons w/ A Good Tree (an afternoon of “Festive Films”) at 2:30.

Hip Hap while and you’d like to see the kind of guy Marilyn Monroe used to go after, great American playwright Arthur Miller will read from his newly published autobiography among other things at Massey Hall Tuesday night. Or if you’re in the mood for some verbal and aural assault

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by Fieur Macqueen Imprint staff If “letters to the editor are a chronic ‘disease”, then Shocked and Appalled: A Century of Letters to the Globe and Mail is a celebration of this disease. Originally published in hardcover in 1985, Shocked and Appalled is now available in a more affordable softcover version - $12.95 at the Bookstore. Though editor Jack Kapica does include many serious letters on Louis Riel, the atomic age, bilingualism and other matters Canadians felt compelled to write to the editor about, the best part of this book is the numerous funny letters. Whole sections are devoted to the birth and propagation of the coat hanger (one reader wrote that they multiply best if “in a

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(continuedtrompage24) and debasement, noted humanitarians The Butthole Surfers will be making waves at RPM Tuesday night. And Wednesday night, Centre in the Square plays host to the seasonally appropriate and family favourite The Nutcracker. Go with someone you love (or lust after immoderately).

dark enclosed space, with relatively uncrowded hanging rods”) and the correct plural of hippopotamus. After many letters one harried reader sent in the followin’g suggestion: “hippostopamus!” Sprinkled throughout the rest of the book are satiric responses to other people’s letters and Globe and Mail articles+ letters that probably weren’t intentionally funny, and various obscure Giews on current events, Historically it is an interesting social document, containing letters such as one protesting the marriage vow in which a woman vows to obey her husband, still a frequent concern, dated 1891. I would recommend that people put this book on their coffee table

but.

Friends

beware.

who

it’s addictive.

glance

through

while waiting for you are apt to either walk off with it or suggest staying in and reading it aloud.

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and Appalled

a good stocking

known

the editor.

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R S-PO RTS Pond Warriors battle to tie with mighty Yeomen by Mike McGraw Imprint staff

You had to feel

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photo by Scott Gardner

Savich returns as Estonia drubs youthful Warriors by Mike McGraw Imprint staff You had to wonder why the Toronto Estonia men’s basketball team brought only eight players to the PAC on November 26. But when three of those players are national team members and four aie former allCanadians, eight is certainly enough. Understandably, Estonia pounded the youthful Waterloo Warriors, 90-73, in a PAC that resembled an abandoned warehouse. The hi-lite of the evening for the sparse gathering was the return of UW legend Peter Savich. Savich was not in the black and gold though - he was one of those former CIAU greats who made a dark night darker for the youthful Warriors. Estonia’s stats page speaks for itself. Former all-Canadian Chuck Klassen led the onslaught with 25 points, Canadian team members Jude Kelly and Norm Clark canned 18 and 15 respectively while Savich notched 14. Another national player, Peter Gabriel, potted 8, including 3 thunderous slams. Of Estonia’s line-up, UW assistant coach Mike Kilpatrick commented: “It’s not so much their shooting ability, but they really know what to do on the court.” Estonia shot an even, 50 per cent from the field. Led by Clark’s dribbling prowess and Klassen’s velvet shooting, Estonia toyed with UW in building a 36-17 lead by late in the first half. The Toronto club’s lightning-quick passes kept the UW defence stumbling under its own basket. Waterloo’s own offence sputtered, looking quite confused through most of the first half. Inconsistent officiating didn’t help UW’s state of affairs. At one point during a time out, irate Warrior head coach Don McCrae launched a verbal attack on the men in stripes. Kilpatrick put it best when he offered, “the referees were doasting tonight.*’ Waterloo battled back lete in the opening frame to close the gap to 9, and trailed 40-31 at intermission.

Klassen’s three-point howitzers padded the Estonia lead early in the second (he canned 4 on the night], but the Warriors clawed back. Seven minutes into the second stanza, UW deadlocked the score at 53. Tom Schneider led the comeback wave with a series of acrobatic drives and nifty jumpers. Schneider scored 17 points on the night including 2 rainbow three-pointers of his own. But this proved to be the last gasp of life from the Warriors. Estonia ripped off a 20-10 run over a lo-minute span to ice the victory. Kelly’s flawless jumpers and Clark’s quarterbacking left the Warriors miffed on defence. Rob Froese shot a sparkling 10 for 10 from the charity line to net 14 for Waterloo, while Jamie McNeil1 meshed 5 for 8 f&m the floor to hoop 14 himself, Despite the story on the scoreboard, McCrae was pleased with his team’s performance. “This was a good game for us. Our post men almost got control as a team. And you have to remember that we’re still using a lot of players. Sometimes the young guys slipped up - but that’s okay. I’m ready to work along with this scheme, and these guys are going to keep playing.” As mentioned, McCrae continued his plan to incorporate every Warrior into the line-up. All players made it on the floor against Estonia, and freshmen Dave Rosebush and Dennis Byrne logged extensive court time. And it just wouldn’t be the same if a Warrior regular didn’t sit out due to an injury. This night, Jerry Nolfi watched from the sidelines. “I hate to sound redundant, but injuries have put us behind. That is why we are talking about a little bit of progress here,” said McCrae. Even with a heavily taped shooting hand, Savich added a little flair to the game. This hindered his shooting, but the dribbling and court sense hasn’t yet escaped the UW Hall of Famer. “I shot brutally tonight,“admitted Savich. “My hand is a lit-

tle butchered right now.” He was brave from three-point range, at tempting 8 shots, and finally sinking 2 in the second half. Playing 30 minutes of ‘the match, Savich also canned &for10 from the field, He mentioned that it was awkward playing against his alma mater. “It was a little strange playing against my old team. But I still haven’t really left the campus.” Savich, a graduate student, is currently doing personal research at Waterloo and has applied for law school. But basketball still remains a big part of his life. ‘Last winter, he played professional roundball in Greece, and is now awaiting the fate of the International Basketball Association. This North American league for players 6'4" and under is attempting to get off the ground. In August, Savich attended the league’s allstar camp at Fresno State University. “That’s all up in the air,” commented Savich. “It depends whether or not the leaguegets off the ground,” Savich’s return was a fitting end to basketball action at Waterloo in 1987, The Warriors preseason record sits at a rather dismal 5-7 heading into the Christmas break. But the preseason has revealed a young squad with great promise and size. The absence of Paul Boyce is evident, as UW doesn’t have the type of take-charge player characteristic of Warrior squads from the past. Yet Byrne, Chris Troyak and Peter Sawchuk, are just three of the rookies to look out for in the future. The Warriors next action is at a Yuletide venue at Ryerson. Like the recent Naismith Classic, this one will be a powerhouse tournament. National1 ranked U of T and Brandon a r ong with York, Ryerson, Calgary and Simon Fraser will all prime the Warriors for the upcoming OUAA West season. This tourney begins on December 27, and runs until the 29. On January 2, the Warriors travel to Sheridan College to take another shot at Estonia. Waterloo opens its regular season at Laurier on January Q at 8 p.m.

Warrior backstop Mike Bishop had time to study for final exams in the UW end of the rink - he A hockey game with the faced just 3 shots. unbeaten York Yeomen is the The Warriors were as equally perfect litmus test to tell if a sadistic in the third. blasting team is ready to challenge for a home 4 more against the pitiful championship. The Waterl‘oo Marlins. Linseman rounded out Warriors are ready. his hat trick with a power play Sunday afternoon at Columbia goal, while Dick found net on a Icefield, the Warriors grinded to breakaway for his third of the a 4-4 sister-kisser with the night. Steve Girardi and Andrew number-two ranked Yeomen, Smith added late goals to beat ending York’s 1%game winning the already dead McMaster cat. streak. Friday night at Columbia Bishop was tested just 13 times pond, UW thumped the lowly en route to his first shutout of the and winless McMaster Marlins, season. 12-O. While everyone else’ was The Warriors opened Friday watching the Grey Cup, the Waf-night’s game with an early riors clawed back to tie the po’wblitzkrieg, a ,foreshado wing of erful Yeomen. York drew first things to come. Steve Linseman blood, capitalizing on a power scored his first of three on the pla,y at 2:50 of the first. Linse-, night at 157, and Dan Tsandelis man knotted the contest with a added a power play marker just marker at ,.7:3$ and Tsandelis 3 minutes later to give UW a 2-O pumped in another to put UW up bulge at the intermission. 2-l after 20 minutes, Waterloo showed no mercy in But within 6 seconds of the the second stanza, exploding for second frame, UW found itself 6 unanswered goals. Scott Dick behind. York exploited a snoozopened the floodgates with two ing Warrior defence to go up 3-2, quickies, just 27-seconds apart. with markers at 6:13 and 6:19. David Long, Linseman, Chris The Yeomen added another ai Glover and Jamie Maki all joined I.. 14~10 to widen the lead to 4-2. in the scoring parade to give w”. ’ Waterloo’s John Dietrich an insurmountable 8-O lead after slammed home a power play goal two periods. Waterloo bornthrough a goalmouth mob to nar-’ barded the shellshocked Mati row the margin to 4-3 after i goalie with 16 shots in the frame, periods. contlnmd on paw 28

“Let there be . football:” Totzke by Mike McGraw 1 Imprint staff * It’s full steam ahead for the Waterloo Warriors football program. This week, director of athletics Carl Totzke revealed that the athletic department has received the green light to advertise for a new head coach. Former head coach Bob McKillop stepped down in October after his third consecutive 0-7 season on the Waterloo sideline. Even though the job has not been advertised as of yet, Waterloo has already received 21 applications for the post vacated by McKillop. Although Totzke would not reveal any of the applicants’ names, he did state, “we’ve received some quality applications.” The process of choosing a new head coach will be carried out by a seven-member committee. The co mittee will be comprised of university administration, athletic a% ministration, football players, students and football alumni. “We’ll sift through the applications down to the bottom three or four,” commented Totzke. “Then we’ll hold some interviews to decide on a new head coach.” With regards to the all-important issue of funds, Totzke stated, “There’s been a modest revision in funds - but 1 ddn’t think this . will be a problem.” Totzke was ecstatic over the efforts of Waterloo foot ball alumni members to maintain and upgrade the program. “We’re very encouraged by the enthusiasm of our football alumni, In spite of what was perceived as unsuccessful football (win-loss record), they were tiery enthused about the ivorthwhile experiences they had while playing for the team.” Totzke

added

that

former

football

players

have

offered

finances

to the program, and are prepared to help out with manyaspectsof the program, including recruiting. Said Totzke: “We’ve got some friends out there.” With regards to ex-coach McKillop’s role in the athletic depart* ment, Totzke offered no hints. ‘:I don’t want to force a determination on what his position will be, “replied Totzke. He did mention that McKillop’s position will be determined at a later date. ’

Synchro Athenas swim way to first The Athena synchronized swimming team travelled to McGill last weekend for a figures ranking meet which marked the beginning of the season. Excellent individual performances by team members allowed Waterloo to tie for first place with U of T, last year’s OWIAA champions. In the intermediate category, UW’s two rookie swimmers, Jenny Clarke and Dara Finney, swam to outstanding finishes. Clarke outswam everyone to take first place while Finney was close behind in third. In the novice category, Sheri-

Lyn Kane executed her figures beautifully to finish in second place in a field of 39 swimmers* Outstanding performances were also turned in by Leanne Ramm who finished fourth and Shell’ey Iiurlbert who notched ninth place. The first-place finish is a first for synchro swimming at Waterloo. The team will compete in their final two meets in January and February which will include solo, duet, and team routines as well as figures. With such an excellent start to the year, the remainder of the season looks very promising.

Squash women firtish second The Waterloo Athenas squash finished second at the OWlAA West division round-l playoffs held UW last weekend. Western finished first with 12 points, edging out Waterloo by one point. McMaster followed with 7 while Laurier cleaned up the rear. Louise Waite, number one seed, remains undefeated this year, winning all three matches. biane HutcKison, the number team

two seed, went 2-1. Michelle Samways went 1-2 and Sandy Brundle finished 2-1. Number five seed Liana Cooper is also undefeated this season, while Marilyn Kuntz, appearing in her first tournament, won 2 and lost 1. The Athena team competes in part 2 January 23 at McMaster, and at the Can-Am Tournament [part 2) in Williams, Mass., after Christmas.

The harder they fall: Mac did a lot of falling Friday night at the Columbia Icefield. They boys in white slammed the hapless Marlins 12-O

Warriors hammer Mac, tie Yeomen

Continued from page 27 Waterloo had the Yeomen running scared in the third, outshooting the visitors, 15-6. Yet the only yield from their harvest of opportunities was the tying marker. GIover jammed i”n a dramatic wrap-around goal at 1~17 with a mati advantaGe to salvage a point for the Warriors. Waterloo outshot York 35-28. Linseman was the weekend’s top marksman with 5 goals and I assist. Charitable John Goodwin added 5 assists, while Glover, Girardi, Dick and Long all racked up 4 points apiece. Bishop was his usual poised self in both contests. That leaves the Warriors at 62-2 prior to Wednesday (December 2) game against Laurier, They currently sit in third place in the OUAA Central, 11 points back of the Yoemen. However, Waterloo has three games in hand on York. The Warriors first post-Yuletide action is the York Invitational tournament on January 2. photo by Scott Gardner

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Warriors sauash into 2nd The Waterloo Warriors squash to Glenn Murphy who outlasted team placed second in the OUAA Waterloo’s hard-fighting capWestern Regionals held last tain, Wolf Imrich, and junior star weekend at the London WestTim Holland, who rallied to minister Sportsplex last. The down an inexperienced but powerful Western team retained much improved Paul Jackson. its regional title, as it has since Jackson was making his first the tournament’s inception. appearance in intercollegiate Western finished with 23 points, play. followed by Waterloo with 17, I-Iead coach Barney Lawrence McGill with 12, trailed by Laurremarked that Ayer’s win over a ier, 6, and Guelph, 2. player of Foy’s calibre represFielding what may prove to be ented, “the finest intercollegiate its best team ever, Waterloo win by a Warrior player in my blanked fourth place Laurier, 6-O entire eight years of coaching.” and downed a much improved McGill team, 5-1. The Warriors trounced Guelph, 5-1. The battle for the title crown . between Western and Waterloo started well wheh fourth-year veteran Rob Ayer astounded the experts and a packed gallery with a fine display of speed and determination. Ayer blasted Western’s highly-ranked Grant Foy in straight games (9-7,10-g, by Wally Dyba * 9-6) to put Waterloo in the lead. Warrior rookie John CzerThe Warrior volleyball t&am nuszka, won all of his other tasted defeat for the first time in matches, and fought hard before more than a month on November falling to the smooth stroking of 28, when they were bested by Scott Dulmage (Western’s Ohio State in the finals of the number five player). Even rn Golden Gaels. though he is number five on In a rematch of last year’s Western, Dulmage last year won exciting*setni-final, the Warriors . both the Canadian Junior and faced Indiana/Purdue, Waterloo Senior I-Iard-Ball titles. battled to a 3-1 victory in an Playing number one for Westexhausting and thrilling contest. ern, Jamie Crombie, Canada’s Indiana/Purdue’s Jay Goldstein, number-two ranked softball who was voted the tourney’s player, took the metisure of UW’s best blocker, scored consistEd Crymble, 3-0, while Scott ently, but couldn’t best the WarNash, a Canadian Junior team riors on his own. member last year, was too conDisappointingly, the Warriors trolled for 1987 Waterloo chamcame out flat in the finals, servpion Steve Millard. The other Western wins went ing and blocking poorly. The

Western did not lose a single match last year in OUAA play and finished third out of 40 teams in the USA Intercolleg.iate Championships at Yale. Lawrence feels that Western coach, Jack Fairs, has the strongest intercollegiate team in North America, and will be favoured to take the title from Harvard in 1988.

“It’s a tough league when a Canadian champion plays in fifth spot,” commented Lawrence.

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competitive fire that raged against Indiana/Purdue was reduced to a flicker when Ohio State took to the court. Outsized and out -hustled, the Warriors lost 3-o. Tournament all-stars were awarded to Warriors Scott Smith [best attacker) and Tony Martinus (best setter). Team captain and fifth-year veteran Ron “Spidey” Clarke played his last match for Waterloo at the tournament. Ron’s leadership, experience and sense. of humour will be sorely missed in the second half of the season and in years to come. The Warriors play at the PAC on January 7 at 8 p.m., as they take on another top notch American squad, Ball State.

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Athena of the Week Louise Waite Squash

Louise, a first-year Kin stuRob, a native of Kitchener, is * clearly dominated a field of in his fourth year of economics at dent, 30 girls from three Canadian uniUW. In his fourth year with the versities and three American Warriors, he’s having his best colleges at the CaneAm Tournaseason yet. ment two weeks ago. She finished as the number one seed, Last weekend at the OUAA all five of her matches -West Sectionals, Rob won all winning games. She led four of his matches without los- and 15 straight to a first-place fining a- game. Playing in the the Athenas number-3 pos’ition, he soundly ishq edging out U of T* Last weekend at Round Eof the defeated Western’s highlyOWIAA West Division Tournaranked number-3 player. Coach ment, Louise continued to domiBarney Lawrence termed this one seed win as “the finest display of nate . . at the number squash by a Waterloo team PosltlonCoach Chico Silvestri desmember in my eight years of tribes her as a “very hard worker coaching.” Last year, Western didn’t lose in practice who often plays a single match in OUAA nlav against some of the men’s ‘varsl’iy players for extra competiand this year they are rr&,h stronger. Rob continued his tion.” Louise competed in the World Juniors in 1986, and was dominating play downing players from McGill, Laurier and the Under 19 Ontario champion and number-2 ranked in Canada Guelph all by 3-0 margins. Rob’s performance led the in 1986. She is currently ranked in the cop 20 in the Canadian Warriors to a strong secondOpen Women’s Squash c?tegory, place finish behind Western.

Thursday, Dec. 3 9:oO a.m.-9:UO p.m. Friday, Dec. 4 9:OQ a.m.-Q:00 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 5 9:W a.m.UlO p.m.

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Yes, women Few people on this campus realize that there are women here at Waterloo that play ice hockey and play it very well! Every Wednesday evening- for the past seven weeks, the ladies of Waterloo have been gathering at the Columbia Icefield to learn to play hockey and sharpen their skills at this, the world’s fastest game. On October 14 the UW Women’s Recreational Hockey program got underway as an informal instructional program for students and alumni. The first six weeks on the ice took the form of regular practices including skating and puck handling drills and scrimmages. November 25 came and with it,

play hockey

our first game which was await&d, at least by the coaches, with eager anticipation. The opponents, the St. Clemerits Winter Suns, have been together for two or three years and play many teams aro,und southwestern Ontario, Our asof-yet unnamed team played a hard fought game and impressed the socks off everyone present, but unfortunately fell subject to a 7-0 defeat at the hands of a much more experienced St. Clernents squad. The Winter ‘88 program is now in its planning stages and organizers are looking forward to a good turnout. Next term’s program is expected to include a few more games as tie11 as regular

practices in the same semistructured format. Among the games being planned will be another confrontation with the St, Clements Winter Suns and also a meeting with Sheridan College. Any ladies interested in being a part of the Winter ‘88 program should watch for the Campus Ret bulletin and other info around campus. Worneli of any skill level are welcome to participate. The program gets underway during the first week of classes in January, with regular weekly meetings starting January 11. For more information about the program, contact Rick at 8849806 or Jim at 884-5817.

,Sports

Short As of November

30, 1987

WARRIORS BASKETBALL - Estonia 90, Waterloo 73 HOCKEY - Waterloo 12, MchIaster 0

Waterloo

4, York

LQAUSH - 2nd place,

West Regional

ATHENAS SQUASH - 2nd place,

West Regional

SYNCI-iRO SWIMMING lstr place, McGill

figures

cumpetition UPCOMING

EVENTS

WARRIORS BASKETBALL - at Ryerson Invitational, Dec. 27 - vs. Estonia, at Sheridan, Jan. 2 I-IOCKEY - at North York Intercollegiate Cup, Jan. 2 ATHENAS BASKETBALL - at Windsor

Invitational,

Jan.2

TOP 10 THIS WEEK Despite their abysmal 5-7 preseason record, the Waterloo Warriors basketball team remained in the top 10 this week. Miraculously, Waterloo actually jumped up one spot to number nine. Ironically, the hockey Warriors remained at number 10 despite their 4-4 tie with number two York and 6-2-2 record in the tough OUAA Central. The volleyball Warriors, through some quirk of nature, are still absent from the national

CIAU

rankings.

Calendar FRIDAY,

DECEMBER

FED FLICKS. The Witches of Eastwick. Showtimes are 700 pm., and 900 pm. in AL 116. Feds $1 .OO and Non-Feds $3.00.

,-. P. .:....*: “... cz

CELE8RATE THE Magic of Christmas. with the seven members of the female vocal group, Distinction! 8:OO pm. in the UW Humanities Theatre. Tickets $8.00 advance (call ex. 2128) or $9.00 at the door. ’ Finish your term off right with ‘Hay Fever’ by NoeJ Coward. Tickets $4.00 and $5.00 available at the Humanities Theatre box office, the Fed office, and at the door. Theatre of the Arts, 1100 pm. THE MOST A-Mate-lng Maze Day. Make your own clay maze, be a part of a maze race for prizes and enjoy puzzling films all at the Museum and Archive of Games. B.C. Matthews Hall, 2:30 - 400 pm., pre-registration, 8884424, $1.00 individuaVS3.50 families. At the Museum and Archive of Games. 2:30 to 400 pm. SATURDAY,

DECEMBER

FED FLICKS.

The Witches of Eastwick. Showtimes are 7:CKl pm., and 900 pm. in AL 116. Feds $1.00 and Norr-Feds $3.00.

UW BAND Concert featuring

Concert Band directed by George Holmes and Stage Band directed by Michael Wood. 8:ClO pm. at Great Hall, Conrad Grebel College. Sponsored by the Conrad Grebel College Music Department and the Creative Arts Board, Federation of Students.

Catch Board Noel $5.00 office, ! otfice tre of

‘Hey Fever’, a Creative Arts and Upstage production by Coward. Tickets $4.00 Feds, non-Feds. Available at the Fed the Humanltles Theatre box and at the door. 8:00 pm. Thesthe Arts.

SUNDAY, LAYMEN’S

DECEMBER EVANGELICAL

Fellowship International. Evening Service. 163 University Ave. W., Apt. 321 (MSA). 700 pm. All are welcome. FED FLICKS. The Witches of Eastwick. Showtime is 800 pm. in AL 116. Feds $1.00 and Non-Feds $3.00.

WEDNESDAY LAYMEN’S

DECEMBER

EVANGELICAL

Fellowship International. Bible Study at 7:30 pm in CC 135. All are welcome.

SUNDAY,

DECEMBER

LAYMEN’S EVANGELICAL Fellowship International. Evening Service at 7:OO pm. 163 University Ave. W., Apt. 321 (MSAI. All are welcome.

MONDAYS BAGEL

GLLOW COFFEEHOUSE. An informal gathering of people who enjoy light conversation, coffee and fun times ,in a comfortable setting. 8100 f f :00 pm., CC 1 IO. For more details call 884~GLOW.

9 LIVING

WITH

Cancer group meetings. The meetings are held every other Tuesday, 7:30 to 8:30 pm. at the “Adult Recreatin Centre” in Waterloo, starting December 8. 1987.

EVENING

PRAYER with choir and sermon. Conrad Grebel Chapel at4.30

DM.

THEMAS: The original social cult. In-

BRUNCH,

Waterloo Jewish Students’ Association/Hillel, CC 110 every Monday and Thursday 11:30 am. - 1:30 pm. (holidays excepted) Please join us for bagels, friends, conversation, Styrofoam cups, etc. Only $1 .oo.

STUDENT VOCATIONAL Advisors are offering help in identifying skills and interests, writing resumes and letters, developing interview skiltsand more. For Program Co-ord., JoAnn Hutchison, 9:30 - 4:30 in NH 1004. TUESDAYS STUDENT VOCATIONAL Advisors are offering help in identifying skills and interests, writing resumes and ’ letters,developing interviewskitlsand more-For the faculty of Arts, Evan Noden, lo:30 - 12:OQ ML 334 - Env. Studies, Romany Woodbeck, 12:30 2:30, ESI 344- Science, Nora lbra him, 1 :OO - 2:30. ESC 251.

teresting peopte, interesting conversations. Chanting and flower selling optional. 5:30 - 700 om., CC 138.

WEEKLY WATSFIC (University of Waterloo Science Fiction Club) meeting. Upcoming events: Video Night and a D 81 D (Dungeons & Dragons) Tournament. CC 138, 6:30.

CHURCH service at WLU during December. Candlelight services of Holy Communion wilt be conducted by the Lutheran Campus Ministry at 10 pm. in the Keffer Memorial Chapel. A coffee hour follows and everyone is welcome.

GO Club invites all interested persons to open play every Wednesday at 8:00 pm. B.C. Matthews Hall, Room 1040, for more information phone 888-4424.

and interests, writing resumes and letters, developing interview skills and more.For the faculty of Science, Nora Ibrahim, 130 - 3100, ESC 251 - HKLS, Sonia Savelli, 9:30 - 11:20, BMli 1040.

SATURDAYS TAMIL

LANGUAGE classes for elementary school age children witt be held under Heritage Language Program from 900 - 11:30 am. at Victoria School, 50 Joshep St., Kitchener. For more information call 747-0991,8852726 or 885-0338.

THURSDAYS

SUNDAYS

BAGEL BRUNCH, Waterloo Jewish Students’ Association/Hillel, CC 1 10 every Monday and Thursday 11:30 am. - 1:30 pm. (holidays excepted) Please join us for bagels, friends, confversation, Styrofoam cups, etc. Only $1 .oo.

ANGLlCAN

STUDENT

INFORMAL SERVlCE with contemporary music; coffee anddiscussion to follow. Conrad Grebel Chapel at 7:OO pm.

‘VOCATIONAL Advisors are offering help in identifying skills and interests, writing resumes and letters, developing interview skillsand more-for the faculty of Arts, Marc Lamoureux, 10:00 - 11:30, ML 338 Env. Studies, Romany Woodbeck, l2:30 - 2:30, ESI 344 - Math, Kevin Lasitz, 11:30 - 200, MC 3035.

WATERLOO

SUNDAYS

STUDENT VOCATIONAL Advisors are offering help in identifying skills

LAYMEi(l’S EVANGELICAL Fellowship. Bible study. CC 135 at 7:30 pm. All are welcome. WEONESDAY

STUDENT VOCATIONAL Advisors are offering help in identifying skills and interests, writing resumes and letters, developing interview skillsand more.For the faculty of Arts, Evan Noden, 12:30 - 2100, ML 338 - HKLS, Sonia Savelli, 9:30 - 11:20, BMH 1040 - Math, Kevin Lasitz, 12:30 1:30, MC 3035. JOIN THE conspraqy of hope! We fight for prisoners of conscience, fight against torture and the death penalty. Meetings are Wednesdays, 7:30 pm., 138B in Campus Centre.

FRIDAYS ,s.-.

SERVlCES St. Bede’s Chapel, Renisoti College 9:30 am. Prayer Book Eucharist. - 11 :OCl am. Contemporary Eucharist Moose Room, Men’s Residence, Renison Cdlege.

MORNING WORSHlP every Sunday. The Rev. Dr: Tom Yorkcelebrant. Communion first Sun. of each month. 1100 am. at St. Paul’s College.

LAYMEN’S EVANGELICAL Fellowship. Evening meeting. MSA, 163 University Ave. W., Apt. 321, at 700 pm. All are welcome. ONGOING EVENf: Visitors are invited to discover and explore The Great Puzzle Exhibit. It’s a puzzlement for everyone with spots of puzzle trivia, riddles, mazes, films, guest speakers, special events and a “hands-on” game area. Free. Monday - Friday 9-5, Sunday l-5. B.C. Matthews Haft, MUseum and Archive of Games. 8884424. SUNDAY CHURCH Services at WLU during December. The Lutheran Campus Ministry will conduct services of Holy Communion at 11 am. in the Keffer Memorial Chapel. A coffee hour follows and everyone is welcome. DAILY Homecoming

Is around the corner. Find out about all the latest at the Homecoming info booth; daily at the CC, Oct. 29 till Homecoming, Nov. 13, 14, 15. AN EXHIBITION of the works of Le Corbusier, architect, artist, designer, urban&t, will be held until December 11, 1987 in the exhibition foyer at the School of Architecture, Univeristy of Waterloo.

-cU4SSIFIED FOR SAlE

Prose & Poetry submissions

1978 Cordoba, 1987 parts (transmission), black, T-roof, snow tires, runs well, needs brakes. $360. as is. Ext. 3955 mornings 900 - 10:15. UW Synchro

needs your support. High quality men’s, women’s bathing suits ($15.00/$30.00) and running/aerobics tights ($27.00) for sale. Variety of colours. Contact Renatta 578-6917 or Shelley 746-0318 after 7 pm. Skis and boota: $70 Rossignot, Tyrolia bindings, Nordica ladies size 8 boots. Call Janet ext. 2331.

Memory Board: Suitable for 6 MHZ AT. AST 2 Mb. Expanded/extended. 52251. Memory extra4 884-7215. Rlckenbacker model 320- 1985 6 string electric guitar. Cherry red, perfect shape, honest. $900.00 7471942, Pete. Framed watercolor paintings. Originals, Mexican artist, Mexican themes. $150.00 Make me an offer. Call Vlad 884-6656 or ext. 6698.

wanted for Online 87-88. Online is an annual UW Creative Arts-Board publication. Submit with name, phone, address to Fed of Students office.

Atfache case, leather, thin, good condition. Price negotiable. Call Bob at 746-0222. Also want three or four man Eureka tent. HELP

Reaumer typeset while you wait1 Cali for appointtient. Lase Graphix. 7456468 5:30 till 9:30. Aslo essays, reports, etc. Good rates. Friends and Lovers is a new non‘profit discrete introduction service for students by students. ‘Ladies Special’ free trial membership. Inquiries, suggestions: P.O. Box 8081, Substation 41, London, Ontario. N6G 2B0.

Travel representative

or organization needed to promote Spring break trip. Gain experience in marketing, earn money and free trios. Call Inter-Campus Piogram, 1-8~0-433-7707.

TO Hamllton

daily from KW for those interested in commuting to Co-op job. Jan. 4 to end of April 1988. Amy 744-

5770.

Wanted - skla: One pair downhill skis approx. 185 cm. Phone 884-6106. Ask for Dave between 6:00 -1T:oO pm..

Custom Essay Service I

approaching?

theses, work reports, business letters, resumes, etc. Wilt correct spelling, grammer and punctuation. Electronic typewriter. Resonabte rates. Phone Lee 886-5444 afternoon or evening. 32 years experience. .75 double spaced page. IBM Selectric. Essays, resumes, theses, etc. Westmount-Erb area. Call Doris 886-7153. Fast, accurate typing and letter quality word processing. Resumes, essays, theses, business reports. Free pickup and delivery. Call Diane, 576-

Services. Resumes, term papers and thesis - Done fast and efficienttv. Call 743-7233 or 746.. 2744. F&e pick up and delivery.

Fast, profesrlonal

typing-w&d processing by university grad. Pick-up/delivery availabte on campus. Grammar, spelling, corrections available. Suzanne, 886-3857.

Word Processing:

Assignments, t reports, <heses,- letters, resumes, etc. Professionally done on word processor. Featuring automatic spell check. Reasonable rates. Call anvtime 746-2810.

says,

CatI

us for quality service. 4 Collrer St , 5ultc 20 I Toronto O~IMIO M4W lL7

Custwnresearchalsoavailable-alllevels

Summer

accomodatlon: Large victorian manor near Waterloo Town Square. Five bedrooms, three common rooms, laundry facilities, parking, etc. 741-9984. (Lease available in fall).

For rent, Jan.-April,

Phllllp

Sl. townshouse - Available winter - One bedroom. 6295; Summer 8_8I two-@rqqms - 6250. each. Furnished . Calf eveni~~$‘“~4i-S147.“-u

Female

Available Jan. 1st. Cosy bedroom for one female in Waterloo home. Kitchen, laundrv facilities. Parking space. Call 886-0736 after 500 pm:

fully furnished room,& town house. Albert Gardens (20-25 min. walk to UW). Garage, TV, etc. $187./month plus utilities. Call Dave or Nancy 746-0344.

looking

for two others to share spacious two bedroom apartment. Pool, sauna, weight room. Fifteen minutes from downtown, on T’fC route, near IBM, close to Don Mills and Eglington. Fully furnished. Call 416-421-4529 for more information. May-Aug. or take lease. Large house for five students, 10 min. bike ride to campus, two baths: laundry room, dishwasher, two fridges, sundeck. 747261 2.

Summer ‘88 - Roommate needed to share Philip St. Co-op town&house. Two min. from UW, close to shopping, bus, laundry facilities. Male or female non-smoker. Bill, Ann or Greg. 7472145.

Summer sublet. Great townhouse for four people on Columbia Ave., only a four minute bike from classes. New, clean, fully furnished, cable paid for, four single rooms. Get your summer housing settled before you leave on work term. Just $235 a month per person. Call 746-7471.

Available

Jan. 1st. Large furnished

bedroom for one or two females in Waterloo home. Kitchen, laundry facilities. Parking space. Call 886-0736 after 500 om.

Clean, quite one bedroom

apt. near UW for four or eight mo. Starting Jan. ‘88 at %tOO/mo. or less. Call Ron 7467592.

Toastin’ Jam - Customized utes from scratch.

Pregnant?

song trib-

743-7343.

fortable apartment in older home with two upper year females. Laundry. Parking. Lots of amenities. In Kitchener, on bus-line. $200 plus utilities. 578-6417, Dorthea or Kim.

Three bedroom

townhouse available summer May/88 - Aug./88. Corner of University and Westmount. Five min. walk to U of W. Call 746-6817 Annette. Summer’88. Beautiful brand new four bedroom Columbia Lake Townhouse available for Summer ‘88 term. Fully furnished with free cable. Located on campus, call 747-2548 anytime, Room available immediately for female; 220 p/m plus utilities. Large clean house, Lakeshore Vitfage - 20 minutes. from campus, central airconditioning, gas BBQ, laundry facilities, great roomies. Ask for Anna or leave name and number at imprint 888-4048 or 748-6911.

HI Babe; It’s been one month, do you remember, ‘I’m not like other guys”, “Your *&o/a” walls are freezing”, “No, no, lets seriously try to study!“, “Fun on a futon; T.O. 81 Communication, weeks apart; assumptions “Thanks for the trust”, “I’ve created a monster “, “Don’t forget London. Here’s to many future months. Your guy. P.S. ,_Unu still have theugliest stuffeddog in_

Happy Blrthday Sharon. So how it feel being half way to fourty. this one be one of the best. From House 0’ Pals. Tammv. Jo. and

does May your Rob.

Peace, Joy and Love during this Christmas season. if you are troubled by a possible pregnancycall a friend at Birthright, 579-3990. One man of nervous conviction

seeks a purpose in life and a cure for terminal signs and tension headaches. Should I become a blond? Please help. All qualified masseuses please contact T. P.S. I carry the world on my shoulders and the Eiffet Tower in my head.

Dear tka and Friends. Practice your aim for our rematch. Till the next snowfall. The 3A Kin Bovs. Ben Diamond: We thinkand thinkthe whole night through, and our thoughts come back to you. We love your walk, we love your smile. Hey there baby, you’re our style. Hey

Lovihg

couple wishes to adopt and provide home and best of care for your unborn child. Working with approved agency. Cat1 Pat collect 1416) 482-4508.

Summer ‘88. Large bedroom (suitable for 2) available in two bedroom apt. Parking, laundry. fully fumiahed, all utiiitles pald. Parkdale Plaza area. $23Olmonth single or $130 shared Birth mother searching for first born wlth a friend. Phone 885-2887. .____*._______._........-.--.----------..*.*.*....*-....-.---------. child. She was born Aug. 19, 1968 and adopted by a family in the K-W Individual needed to share very com-

lEESEARCH PAPER!

Professional Research & Literary Services

960-9042

Essays,

1284. Kim’s Secretarlai

WANTED

Deadlines

WANTED

TYPING

with a small truck. Also rubbish removal. Reasonable rates. Call Jeff 884-2831.

Experienced Typist with teaching degree. $1.00 per D.S. page. Close to campus. Ask for Karen L. 746-0631.

PERSONALS

’

Wanted:

SERVICES Wlli do light moving

TYPiNG

youll Thanks for the thanks. When’s the next foyer party? Have you seen the sunrise lately’7 Pounce’s friends.

W3 Wanderers. This is for all of you four streamers: I want to see all of you in 48 ... Right under’ttat treeI I See you in ‘92’ - ROGO. Slr Mark of Geology. For a guy as per-

area. I understand she is attending her first year of university. (I’ve spoken to social worker and understand problems involved). Her younger halfbrother and I would like contact for future reunion and friendship. Please write BJS, Box 747, Waterloo

istent as you are, you gave up too easily. Try again, I might be home. Kathy from the Turret.

LF: Thankafor two good years (less six weeks and then some). The memories were good. Lots of luck with exams; ‘Merry Christmas and all that stuff. Cal t sometime; you know how to call...Love aiways. KP.

Lolrt glasses

thy

yes*

P,B,F.l-l.I

don't

wanna

know about it!” Seriously though, thanks for a great term. Wishing you all a Merry “Psycho” Christmas and a “Bitchin” Happy New Year! Luv, Queen P.B.F.H. Hey Buddee! Happy flies! And remember, Bud?” Crash.

141 Time sure “Who loves ya

LOST in a black and brown leather case. Black frames. Lost Wed., Nov. 26. If found please call Paul 7466685. Tahlba Waikman. I have lost a Tashiba Walkman on campus somethime after November the 16th. This walKman was on-loan to me. It you have found it please call Jonathan at 884-9848. Reward.

Small gold ring on path to optometry. Caihi at 746-2940.

‘Pre-Boxing Day Sale! -Computers Sprint

286

portable & la cornpa; Portable III 80286 CPU @ 10 MHz 512K RAM expandable to 16M l-360K floppy drive real time clock _ 640 x 200 LCD display

l l l l l l

6e’

lrtf&si l

rbC

AT1 EGA wonder

$299.99

I e

Tatung/Paradise

EGA

$199.99

hm$2299

Mouse Riot

,Estmit 286 Enhanced

L.ogitech

Mouse

$99.99 Microsoft

Mouse

$139.99 . . Packard Bell high res monochrome monitor

Modem Madness

$2299

EMP 1200A IZOO/~OO baud . auto dial/answer . works great with Kermit . hundreds used on campus

Esprit 88 Enhanced 8088-l CPU @ 1OMHz zero wait state 640K RAM l-360K floppy drive 33 MB hard disk printer port monochrome graphics adaptor Packard Bell high res monochrome monitor

l l l l l l l

$99.99 Buy 2 get 1 FREE

Printer

$1469

MULTI-FONT

PRINTEW

X-Press 16 l l l l l l l l

PC compatible compact’size, over 40% smal ler than the PC 512K RAM expanable to 640K on board l-360K floppy-~ disk -drive PC compatable keyboard with 84 full-stroke keys standard PC/XT@ expansion slot colour graphics adaptor & parallel printer, joystick and mouse interfaces

$599

f 170 University

Ave.

MSL $399.99

<y&

clctor~

W., University

Shops

Plaza

II, Waterloo

746-41565