1995-96_v18,n23_Imprint by Editor Imprint

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Our Waterloolocationoffers a dynamicatmospherein a rapidly growingenvironmentwhichtranslatesinto tremendousopportuniti andcareerpotentialfor you!. Sybase,Inc. is a worldwideleader in client/serversoftware.Its Powersoftdivisionis the recognized marketleaderin applicationdevelopmenttoolsfor client/server solutionsin the enterprise.Our missionis 10provideour customers with an open,adaptableinformationsystemsarchitecturethat will enablethem to developanddelivercompleteinformationsystems solutionsto facilitaterapid businesschange. Sybase,andits Powersoftdivision,inviteyou to exploreemploymentpossibilities at SybaseCareerNight 1996. . .. Our Wineand CheesemixerDresents an onnortunitv for -___-----students_tcsif$ I 1-T -- --J--meetand minglewith executivesandsomeof the mosttalentedte nicaland marketingstaff from our Waterloolocation. Theevening will alsofeature*T- shirtgiveawaysand demonstrations of exciting, new technologies.If you areinterestedin exploringthe possibility of a careerat Sybase,pleasejoin uson - January 29,1996 in the DavisCentre 13018~1302from 5 -9pm. Ian McPhee,VicePresidentandGeneralManagerof Powersoft’s LanguageDivisionandfounderof Watcom,beginswith a welcoming address,followed by a presentationon excitinglocaland global careeropportunities.During refreshments, Universityof Waterloo graduateswill demonstratethe recentlyreleasedSybaseSQL Anywhereand a radicalnew visualdevelopmentsystemfor C/C++- a majorbreakthroughin approachable objectoriented applicationdevelopment.

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The Architecture

fur Change-

IMPRINT

The UW Student Newspaper Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario, NZL 3G1 888-40413

Friday January 19, 1946 Volume 18, Number 23 1SSN 0706-7380

Last one out, turn off the Zi’ghts...

Staff by David

retire Most significant across campus, however, is the loss of one university vice-president, all associate provosts, and a host of other senior administrators (see box).

Drewe,

Imprint

staff

W Cover

photo by Dave Fisher

Editorial Editor in Chief Assistant Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Features Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor Proofreaders

Board Dave Fisher David Drewe Pctcr Lcnardon Kicran Green Greg Krafchick Greg Picken Ryan Pyette Jeff’ Peeters Christine Cheng vacant Rob Potton Joe Palmer vacant Katy McKinnon

Staff Business Manager ,dvertising/Roduction Advertising Assistant Distribution

Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas Pat Merlihan Pat Merlihan Andrew Henderson

Board of Directors President Vice-President Secretary/Treasurer Directors at Large

Heather Calder Alex Havrlant Andrew Henderson Adam Evans Jeff Robertson

Contribution

List

Sandy Atwal, David Bauer, Peter Brown, ileather Caldc-r, Reni Chan, Nigel Clarke, Adam Evans, Norm Furtado, April Harper, Alexander Havrlant, Andrew Henderson, Greg Ilood-Morris, Ari Katz, Shecna Kennedy, Jack Lefcourt, Patti Lenard. Heidi Marr, Justin Matthews, Debra McChntlock, Janyce McGregor, Nicole Metcalf, Jeff Miller, Norman O’Reilly, Matthew Osborne, Jane Pak, Natalie Proctor, James Russell, Patrick Wilkins, Rebecca Wilkinson, Vilko Zbogar, Michael Zulliani, U W Bike Centre, WPIRG and The Parking Lot 1s Full. imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term, Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room I I 16, University of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl. Our e-mail address is: editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Our fax number is 884-7800. An on-line version of Imprint is also available on the World-Wide Web at http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca/

hile the University’s tong-term plan is yet to be tabled, at least one short-term change is now inevitable: as of September lst, there will be a great many less people working on this campus than there are right now. The response to the University early-retirement plans are in, and one eighth of the University’s faculty and staff have accepted. Three hundred and forty employees have opted to retire in the next eight months, including almost half of the civil engineering department, and the bulk of UW’s senior administrators. When commenting on the exodus of senior administrators, Vice President Academic and Provost Jim Kalbfleisch noted that, “It’s hard to start a list, because you don’t know where to stop.” The faculty of engineering seems particularly hard-hit, losing fourteen of thirty-two faculty in civil engineering, another ten in mechanical, and eight more in electrical and computer engineering.

Skip

by David

Imprint

Roger ZIhmer, VP University ReIat&ns Robltn Banks, Associate Provost Academ& Affairs - 3ab Elliott, Associate F!ruvca General Services Dorothy Battae, Associate Provost Ffiance Peter Hup&im, Associate Provost Student Affairs Run Eydt, Warden uf Residences Trevur Boyes. Rfq$strar Pati Dkksen, Directax. of Computing ?&-vices Rudy Bzolixlaxy, Director of PI&It Operatiuns doan Wiley, Director afTeIephone Serv%ces Ron Russet, Direetgr of Audio-Visuat Bxv3ces Al hwreace, Director of Central $tDnz@ Don Gardner, Director of Bookeeping

Florence

Thomlisun,

Director,

Disabled

Student

Services

and many, many more.. . all gone. . . The University plans to move quickly to ensure that academic and other programming continues with as little discord as possible. According to Kalbfleisch (one of the few who’ve signed up for another tour of duty), the departments

be approved by Kalbf’leisch and President Downey. The vacancies created by the retirements of senior administrators will be dealt with more cautiously. Kalbfleisch said that he and Downey will examine the studies already done regarding

the

Games

and Jim Wilson.

Candidates for Vice President Internal are: Mahim Macharanda, Trisha Mumby, and Julie Primeau. Candidates announced for Vice President Education at the meeting included Brendan Beasley, Kelly Foley, Xander LeRoy, and current Fed Presi-

Ccuhuwd

tg page 4

Begin all-candidates meeting herself, a meeting deerned as mandatory7 she succeeded in raising the eyebrows ofother candidates when it was announced that she had been

Drewe

UW’s structure, as well as structures of other schools. In order to have the vacancies filled in time, these decisions will need to made quickly, as job descriptions will have to be rewritten and advertised, and1 interviews conducted. Kalbfleisch was not willing to guarantee that all hiring for the senior positions would occur internally, but was clear in his belief that, “We certainly have a lot of talent internally.. . the answer depends a lot on the structure we decide on. Some [prospective candidates] we don’t know about yet will come to the fore on this.” While no faculties or departments are yet forecast for closure, Waterloo has chosen to partially move away from its policy of fiunding all faculties and departments equally. A central “reinvestment fund” will be created. Its disbursement will be based on need and new opportunities. No terms of reference for this fund have been determined at this time. While the: qtiestion mark next to the early retirement program’s savings can now be removed, many other question marks re-

ceremony,,,

staff

andidates for Federation of Students executive positions met last Friday, January 12 with the Election Committee to fmd out who was running, and to receive lists of important dates and rules for the election campaign. Running for President are: Mario Bellabarba, Carla Chalmers, Brad Kelly, Brad Miller, and Josh Windsor. For the position of Vice President Administration and Finance, the candidates are: Dan Bajor, Mark Ferrier, Chris McGrath,

and faculties will soon begin dealing with the budget situation, “how to deliver services with fewer people.” All of these plans will be reviewed by Executivc Council, and must ultimately

Who’s Leaving..:

thetorch

Let

in droves

Who’s Rum&g? President Mario Bellabarba Carla Chalmers Brad K&y Brad Miller Josh Wirxdsor Vice President Ad,xads~tion and Financs

Dan Bajor Mark

Fazx-ricr

Vice:

Pxr=sidemt

Ented Mafiinl

Macharanda

‘Mesh Mumby Julie Ftrimeau Vice Presidaat Education

Brendan Beasley Kelly Foley xander

LeFgJy

Chris McGrath Jim

W&xn~ *

dent Jane Pak. Although Pak subsequently withdrew her nomination, it was

too late to avoid making an impression on the candidates. While not present for the

excused

to complete

her and run-

ning-mate Brad Kelly’s maikouts. All candidates were supposed to have their mailouts in for the 4:30 p.m. meeting. When Imprint staff left the meeting at 5:25 p.m+, neither Pak nor Kelly had yet arrived with their mailouts. With a field of fifteen candidates vying f;or four positions, it will be a complicated decision for voters to make. Look to the Imprint as your source for information

on the elec-

tion, including statements from the candidates, in-depth interviews with them, pros and cons of the major issues, and, for the very first time; a Ipublic Imprint forum in the Student Life Centre. This forum promises to separate the winners from the almostbeens.

NEWS

3200 Co-op students secure winter jobs

f job placements were grades, the University of Waterloo Co-operative Education department would be scoring an A+. According to figures just released by Bruce Lumsden, Director of UW Co-op, placements for the Winter 1996 term have reached 93 percent. In numbers that’s roughly 3200 students who now have jobs. Those figures are no comfort however to the approximately 250 students who are still looking for a winter placement. Lumsden estimates that half of these are junior co-op students who are entering the work force for the first time. The current placement rate of ninety percent is similar to the placement rate of the Winter 1995 term. The difference is that this term there were 170 less co-op students competing for jobs. Lumsden admitted, “Yes there were fewer students seeking employment and the percentage didn’t change which indicates that fewer students doesn’t necessarily imply a better employment record.” U W Co-op is pleased with their achievement however. The department estimates that some 400 coop jobs have been lost over the past three years to government sector

Retirement exodus continued

from

page 3

main. The University still doesn’t know exactly what the amount of its government grants will be for the fiscal year 1995-96. The budget is usually passed at the February Board of Governors meeting, but

by Kieran Green ImprixIt staff

Friday, January 19,1996

IMPRINT,

tionary increase can be made have not yet been released. Differential fees for international students, which result in significantly higher fees for this group, have not yet been set. While the answers to most of these questions are expected by the end of January to mid-February,

cdWeW be last in Canada h funding, and n&y below the

national average..”

The

few,

the proud,

the unemployable.

cutbacks at both the provincial and federal levels. Despite that, said Lumsden, “We have been able to maintain the co-op job base to support the co-op enrolments each year.” Lumsden was asked if he had noticed a trend towards employers hiring college co-op students who do not usually receive a full salary rather than university co-op students who must bc paid. “Yes I think there will be all sorts of pressures on employers to seek other solutions to their work force requirements,” he responded. “That is why it is important for

the coordinators to be out in the field talking to employers and students about co-op opportunities.” In just a few weeks co-op students will begin the application and interview process for the Spring 1996 term. Lumsden felt it was too early to tell what the placement will be like for that term. “It is the most difficult term for co-op as we are competing with all other students seeking summer employment,” he said. “We’ll have a better idea once we get through the first set of postings and interviews.”

Kalbfleisch speculated that this year it will most likely occur at the April meeting. Equally unknown are the specifics ofthe tuition policy set out by Finance Minister Ernie Eves in last year’s mini-budget. While Eves announced that Universities would be allowed a 10% tuition hike, and an additional 10% “discretionary” hike, the rules of when that discre-

that provides little reasurrance right now. Snobelen has speculated that no more cuts should be expected for the post-secondary sector, as the promised $400 million cut has been fully implemented. Kalbfleisch commented that “I sincerely hope he’s right. We’ll be last in Canada in funding, and way below the national average.”

Come on down to SLC 1116 and volunteer for a mission. You’ve got nothing to lose and nothing to fear!

WAGE DONAPPLICATIONS DUEJANUARY 26,1996AT4:30PM

Students who wish to apply for the position of Don in the Student Villages for the Fall/ Winter Term 1996/97 should obtain an application form at the Housing Office, and must submit it to the Warden of Residences, Housing Office, Villiage 1 prior to mn n

Friday,

January

26,1996

Applications received after this date will not be considered for appointment.

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Friday, January 19, 1996

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system by the end of the month. ln the interim, the Web site contains other interesting items that are usefLI1 to post-secondary students in Canada. Check the site from time to time to see how it grows. The system is growing quickly and presently, IntemetSOCR is in need of sales representatives and supervisors at every college anduniversity in Canada. Stuart Lessels, Director of Sales and Marketing said that InternetSOCR is recruiting the “backbone” oftheir team through January. If you are interested in joining their team, or in obtaining more information about the it’s more than just cyberspace football. opportunities this company has availThe system is free to all stuable, e-mail Linda Wilkinson, Didents and will be supported by minirector of Human Resources at lwilk@mgl.ca. If you are sending ma1 advertising fees charged to your resume, include it as part of landlords. They should have a number of advertisements in the your e-mail message.

one lambated FREE

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Food Services makes new plans for dinner

by Dave Imprint

RS E ma ST 0 P POSTERS

Internet, you can easily access IntemetSOCR’s current housing lists for every college or university city in Canada. If you’re on a work exchange in Hong Kong, you can do it from there. The IntemetSOCR site is located at http:\\www.socr.com.

by Nicole Metcalf special to Imprint o, this isn’t cyberlingo for a Internet sport. new IntemetSOCR, short for Student Off-Campus Rentals, is a new business that was released on the -__.Internet ___-.-. earlier this month. This new system promises to greatly improve the way in which students at every college and university across Canada search for and obtain off-campus accommodation. If you’ve ever looked for off-campus housing. you’re aware of how fiustrating house-hunting can be. You’ve probably encountered o;t of date SOCR. housing lists, cryptic descriptions, or even worse, you were living in Ottawa and you had to find housing for September in Waterloo. Now, if you can get on the

NEWS

Fisher staff

ig changes are coming to UW’s Food Services. In an aggressive five year transformational plan entitled “ReEngineering Campus Food Services,” director Mark Murdoch has set a goal for his department “to be the best campus food service in the world.” “This will be a measurable statistic too,” Murdoch assured Imprint, “Not some warm fuzzy thrown out for public consumption.” The process is set to take place over the next three years and will follow procedures established by the National Quality Institute. The plan, which has received approval from UW’s executive council, also calls for the “transfor-

mation of Food Services over the next five years, organizationally, operationally and physically.” As part of this wide-ranging endeavour, a Stakeholders’ Advisory Committee will be formed to allow greater customer involvement, renovations will be made to a number of outlets, and the Food Services headquarters’ will be moved from its present location in the General Services Complex to Village 1. The plan also calls for investment of $3 million over the next three years, which Murdoch is confident will be paid back with interest. At the end of the five-year period Food Services expects to be turning $1.5 million a year over to the university’s operating budget. Food Services revenues this past year were $8.2 million.

Many people have been alarmed that, by contributing to the operating budget, Food Services might demand a campus monopoly in return and run the small coffee and donut shops (known as C&D’s) off campus, Murdoch denied that possibility, telling Imprint, “absolutely, categorically not. We have no interest in doing that.” Another key feature of the plan is “to provide ever better food and service at less cost.” Answering concerns addressed to Imprint by many students about the high costs of food at Brubaker’s, Murdoch conceded that it is indeed a common complaint but responded by saying that, “we offer a whole host of reasonable price options. You can still buy lunch anywhere across campus for less than four dollars, but of course you can also go a lot higher than that if they want to eat more extravagantly.” Murdoch also insisted that the complaints of high prices are always focussed on Brubaker’s, but that several cheaper options exist elsewhere on campus. Another intriguing aim of the new plan is for increased sales of 25% to students and 100% to faculty and staff. Murdoch believes that his aggressive approach to renovating establishments and increased attention to customers will allow them to achieve their goal. The director also insisted that this won’t mean higher fees for residence students. Residence students presently comprise 54% of the department’s business.

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NEWS

SAC, by Natalie special to

Your

last resort Advocate of Last Resort The Advocate of Last Resort is a relatively new aspect of Students Advising Co-op. It has come to our attention that at times students have problems with the Cooperative Education department.

only for co-op students, but for anyone who has had a job! This 40 minute play will be put on approximately twice a day during the week ofFebruary 5 - 9. Look for it in your residence cafeteria at meal times. Other locations will be

Proctor

Imprint

n co-op this week, marks from the Kcgistrar’s Office wcrc undelayed by a day. expectedly This caused problems for co-op students who wanted to submit their fall term marks with their resumes - they were charged $3 for a copy of their marks. One suggestion fi-om OlafNaesc in Co-op is to find out what your marks were and type them up, noting that they were not officially available but that you would be happy to bring an official copy to the interview. SAC is helping to coordinate the drama Power Play. This is a play about harassment in the workplace, and so is relevant not

IMPRINT,

or by leaving a note in the Dear Coop box in Needles Hall near the drop off slot. If you want someone to help you with a problem, please leave your name and a way to contact you. We will be setting up office hours in the Federation of Students office so that it is easier to contact someone in person. These hours wilt be announced in next week’s SAC column, posted on our bulletin board in Needles Hall, and on our World Wide Web home page at: http://csclub.uwaterloo.ca/ clubs/-sac. Our next meeting is Tuesday January 23,5:30 p.m., in NH 1030. This is conveniently after labs, should any Science students wish to join us.

At times students haveproblems with the Co-op department announced before the event. This production is FREE, so DOW there’s no excuse not to see it ! Watch for posters with details on times and locations toward the end of the month. Power Play is an “updated, excellent drama” that you should really make an effort to see.

The SAC Advocate of Last Resort is someone that you can go to if you are unable to get your problem resolved within the Co-op Department. We wilt do our best to help solve your problem. Currently you can contact us by e-mail at: sac@undergrad.math,

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n Tuesday, January 2, a former U W student, Steven M. Johnston, was given 90 days in jail by a provincial court for a failed attempt at stealing five computers and related equipment from Carl Pollock Hall. The same day, UW security officer Dep. Sgt. Brian Bradley predicted that last year’s thefts will top the $100,000 mark. According to the K- M/‘Rec*ord, “ he tallied the loss up to October 1995 and found that thefts up to that time were valued at $89,000.” In an interview, Bradley said, “I think we’ll be over $100,000 for

1995.” This trial serves as an important reminder that computer theft, University of Waterloo’s “greatest single security issue” as the court was told, is srtill a major problem on campus. It is difficult for the I jniversity to implement measures such as restricting night access to computer rooms, Crlown attorney Bi 11 Johnston told the Judge, bccausc students tend to work at all hours. HopefUlly, Johnston’s jail sentence will be a deterrent to other would-be robbers, driving home the message that theft will not be tolerated by UW, and that it will be prosecuted accordingly. Incidentally, Laurier is taking the opportunity to gloat over their relatively crime-free campus. The K-W Record’ writes that “a WLU spokesman said that while he did not have figures available, he didn’t think computer theft was as serious a problem at that university.”

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NEWS

Friday, January 19, 1996

Schoolof Jane Pak President Federation

of Students

Will the University of Waterloo be the same as it is right now in five years time? 1 would say delinitely NOT. We now know how many people have been accepted by this Special Early Retirement Program (SERP) and, who will be left at the University. Why should you care? Because this is something that will ultimately affect the quality of education you receive and, the level of service that is offered to you by the University. First off, let’s talk about the SERP. As you all know by now, in its last Economic Statement, the provincial government announced a 15% cut in funding to universities. To deal with this enormous cut, the university did a few things including: implementing a hiring freeze and; offering

cent of the uniiersiiy’s budget goes to salaries and benefits. With such a significant cut to university funding, the University felt that it would be wise to offer such a package to give employees the opportunity to retire early. This diminishes the need for layoffs and salary rollbacks. Of the 590 people who were off&d ihe package, 340 f&ulty and staff members will be leaving the university within the next 7 months. Included in those figures are senior administrators and dcpartmcnt heads. The hardest-hit academic departments include civil engineering, mechanical engineering, electrical and computer engineering and psychology. That does not include plant operations, the

library, the villages and co-op education and career services. So how does this affect you, and why should you care? Well, as you can see, if 14 of the 32 faculty members in civil engineering are retiring from the university before July 1, there is a high possibility that there will be less courses offered, larger classes, and we will be losing a great deal of knowledge, expertise and experience that we have built here at the University. The University has stated that there will be some “replacement appointments where they are most urgently needed .” However, we are in for some really tough times. The University will be a very different place in a few years from now. There will be less services offered, less support

Over eighty percent of the goes to salaries and benefits for the services that will still be offered, there will be less people, and those people will be a LOT busier. Nevertheless, in these tough times, there is still a lot of HOPE and encouragement. This will serve as a challenge for the University of Waterloo, one that we will be able to overcome successfully. At this point in time, everything is on the table. There are no plans for department closures. However, there are possibilities of amalgamations of departments where resources are scarce. We will know more later when each of the

LETS by Nicole

Metcalf

special to Imprint

he Local Employment and Trading System (LETS) is growing in the KitchenerWaterloo community. This Saturday, LETS members are holding a Trade Fair at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, 825 King Street West, Waterloo (between the hospital and Kitchener Collegiate Institute). From 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., LETS members will display the goods and services they offer for trade. KW LETS is a non-profit association ofbusinesses, individuals, and community organizations whose members exchange goods and services for Canadian dollars or “green”

departments get a chance to see the actual facts and figures of who in their department is staying, and who is leaving. On a different note, there have been changes to the OSAP system that ALL students should be aware of because this can directly affect YOU!!! Joanne Wade fromthe Student Awards office will be at the next Federation of Students Council meeting on February 11 to make a presentation on the loan system and some of the changes that wil1 be implemented for the 96-97 year. I encourage any of you who are currently accessing loans to attend, it will be extremely informative and is open to all. What else is going on with the FEDS? First off, there will be an inter-university night at Federation Hall TONIGHT. Schools that have been contacted include Western, Waterloo, Wilfrid Laurier and Brock. Also in attendante will be Energy 108.

OPTOMETRY CLINIC The School of Optometry offers comptete optometric care including spectacle dispensing1 and contact lens services to the UW community and the general public. Located in the Optometry Building - first floor Columbia Street

HOURS Phone:

so, if you’re up for a good time, be there. Other things going on... We need volunteers for the Food Bank. The Arts Commission is looking for perfomlers for a free concert on Campus Day. The deadline for the Distinguished Teachers ,4ward is soon approaching, so ifyou know of someone worthy of this and have any questions, give TRACE a call. We have been given a $50,000 grant from the government to be spent on worn&s safety. If you have any proposals, please bring them forth. There’s much, much more going on within the Federation of Students, so when you get the chance, drop by the office or give us a call.

C I996

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dollars (their own currency). Through LETS, individuals are able to purchase goods and services that they might not normally be able to afford.

Come on down andfind yourself a great deal Businesses benefit from LETS by developing a loyal customerbase from the LETS membership. They also get free promotion in the LETS Directory which increases their profile in the Kitchener-Waterloo

community. The Trade Fair is also a great way for the public to see what members of the community are doing. You don’t have to be a LETS member to attend. Admission is free and hot drinks and food will be available. Drop in at the LETS Trade Fair this Saturday and find out what is offered, from clothing, environmental products and movie rentals, t.o services such as child care, car repair, chiropractic care, etc. The LETS initiative is supported by the Working Centre and WPIRG. For more information about this event or how to become a member of K-W LETS, call 74% 1911.

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-NEWS

IMPRINT,

Feds well-endowed by Sheena Kennedy special to Imprint

he competition to receive funding the U.W. Student Life Projects dowment Fund has begun. $240,000.00 has been set aside to fund dent life projects.

from EnOver stu-

The Student Life Projects Endowment Fund began as a part of a “Coordinated Plan to Improve the Quality of Student Life at U.W.“. This money now available comes from the interest on funds raised by students between the Spring I992 term and the Summer 1994 term in order to continue the Endo wment Fund.

can

safety on campus, the improvement of accessibility on campus, the improvement of current lounge and study spaces. The deadline for submissions is February 9, 1996. To find out how to apply, go to the Federation of Students’ office, Student Life Centre room # 1102, or contact the Project Coordinator, Josh Windsor at ext. 2322:

Waterloo General

hod Cd-Rom, I6 bit sound card, speakers, Grolier Encvclooedia.Animals & 4

840MB

J J&%wud~,au

HDD... $270

Public

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BEAR HUNTING: What it is and why it sucks Every year over 20,000 black bears are killed across Canada by hunters engaging in controversial practices such as baiting, hound hunting, and the spring bear hunt.

such as bear baiting and the spring been banned in most U.S. states.

hunt have

FEMALES

CUBS

BAITING

In Ontario, it is illegal to shoot a mother bear with cubs, but reporting is voluntary and prosecution requires proof that the hunter knew s/he was shooting a member of a family group. It is particularly difficult for hunters to establish whether female bears have cubs because a mother bear usually hides her cubs in trees before eating at a bait station or if she is being chased. Whille it is not known how many cubs are orphaned, more than 30 percent of the spring bear hunt’s victims are adult females, some of whom have cubs. 80 percent of orphaned cubs do not survive their first year.

Baiting is a practice in which bears are lured to a forest clearing by food laid out by hunters, allowing an easy shot at the bears while they are eating. With a sense of smell 100 times more sensitive than humans, bears are attracted by the bait from up to 1.6 kilometres away. The bait is set regularly for up to a month before the hunting season begins, causing bears to become accustomed to eating at the site. Shooting blinds are built 30 to 40 paces away in the trees to give hunters a safe place to hide. Some baiting sites are no more than a few hundred yards from an access road, enabling hunters to shoot without even leaving their vehicles. In Canada, bear bating is illegal in B.C., Yukon and the N.W.T., but legal or unregulated in 8 other provinces. THE

Okidata sooi., , $589

I9,1996

WPIRG

Any student organization recognized by the Federation of Students can apply to receive funding. A qualifying student life project could be any academic or non-academic student initiative aimed at improving student life. The priorities established by the Federation of Students in consultation with students are as follows: the improvement of

Any recogrzized organhztiun apply to receive funding

Friciay, ihnuary

SPRING

HUNT

While the spring bear hunt has been outlawed in all but six U.S. states, Canada still permits a spring hunt in ten provinces and territories. The spring hunt is a particularly controversial practice for a number of reasons. First of all the hunt specifically targets bears as they leave their winter dens, famished and groggy after spending a winter living off their own fat, at a time when food is scarce and when females are nursing their cubs. Orphaned cubs are a legacy of the spring hunt. Many hunters even agree that this practice is unethical and unsportsmand like. In Ontario’s spring bear hunt, approximately 66 percent of those hunting are nonresidents (98 percent of those are American) and they account for over 83 percent of the bears killed. On a yearly basis Americans account for over 70 percent of the bears killed in Ontario. Americans come to Canada to hunt because quotas and hunting laws in the U.S. are stricter; unethical hunting practices

Preparing

I Dhoto bv Kierm

BEAR

AND

PARTS

ORPHANED

TRADE

With most bear populations around the world in decline, endangered or destroyed altogether, pressure from the lucrative market for bear gall bladders and paws now poses a serious threat to Canada’s black bears. Bear galls are prized in some Asian countries for their medicinal value and can fetch up to $3000 each. Bear paw soup is considered a rare delicacy in some ,4sian restaurants and reportedly sells for up to $250 a bowl. The world-wide market in bear parts is estimated at $2 billion. There is increasing public scrutiny regarding the ethics of bear hunting and its practices. A majority of Ontarians look very unfavourably on hunting black bears as a sport (71 percent), on bear-baiting (77 percent), and on marketing the spring bear hunt to hunters who live outside of Canada (79 percent). Please take a moment and write to The Honourable Sheila Copps, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of the Environment, 10 Wellington Street, Hull, Quebec, K 1A OH3. Phone: (319) 9974441, FAX: (819) 953-3457. Tell her that you want the Wildlife Trade Act proclaimed as quickly as possible, and acts which would make it illegal in Canada to possess bear galls, bile, and paws separate from the bear.

gra;ds

tireen

Alison Boyd, Treasurer of the Student Alumni Association (SAA), and Andrea McPhee, Past President of the SAA, greet graduating student at the Graduate Information Fair in the Student Life Centre on Wednesday, January 17. Various Alumni organizations and other groups were on hand to help prepare soon-to-be graduates for postuniversity life.

IMPRINT,

Friday,

January

Campus by David

“I don’t

Drewe

believe

Question: and Khan

Green

it to be too promising.” Jen Hare 4th Year French

Vt seems pretty

NEWS

19, 19%

good so far.” Ryan Jenkins 1B Contpute~ Science

How do you feel about summer job prospects in co-op?

(photos)

‘&For Electrical pretty good, in general better than previous years.)’ Jason Spanos 4B Electrical

“It’s

so bad I didn’t

even bring

a pen.”

LCI’m graduating. Good luck to Co-op students, but I’11 be in Europe.” Doris Simcich 4B Math

W’s going to be a challenge because of Co-op programs at other sch001P Randy Kiawitter Program Administrator Math/Accounting

“After looking at the postings, I’ve noticed very few jobs for Junior students.” Alex Lan 1B Engineering

Lisa Wannamaker 1B Applied Studies

“They

seem pretty

limited,

for my field

anyway?

K&en Killins 3A Siokqy

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4 couple of months ago I wrote all :xcitedly in this column about a bill going through Parliament that would essen the criminal penalty for posses;ion of small amounts of cannabis. Although the bill is still before the senate, I mentioned how appealing and 3ositive I found the bill. As a moderate Jser myself and a friend to many 3thers, I’d long grown convinced that lone of us had in any respect proFessed toward addictions to hard narcotics. We still had our brains reasonably intact, and most of us still led fairly regular and productive day to jay lives. With ample reason to believe that alcohol and tobacco (both of which I imbibe from time-to-time) are more detrimental and injurious, I haven’t had respect for the federal propaganda shat out about cannabis, nor the archaic laws that deem tokers to be criminals, for years. And although I hardly consider myself a rebel or anarchist or mariiuana activist, 1 still haven’t budged on these beliefs. I am convinced that the properties and realities of cannabis are readily apparent for all who care to see, and I’m not talking about what you might have shoved down your throats by The Sally Jesse Raphael Shuw or the local police force. My short column was more farreaching than I’d ever previously imagined. Nevertheless, concerned smokers and members of hemp-related organizations e-mailed me from across the country, not to praise me, but to set me straight about this bill. These weren’t Letters to the Editor, these were personal messages from people who agreed with my perception of the scientific proofs of cannabis’ so-called “harms” and “deleterious side-effects” and saw me as an ally with a position in the media (no matter how insignificant that position might entail.) This bill, they al1 agreed, does benefit small possession convictions, but it also greatly increased police powers to search and seizure. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and not just because there’s a hemp benefit at the Volcano tonight. I was reading in the Globe and Mcril last Saturday about the bust of Marc Emery in Vancouver. Emery is the former Libertarian candidate and bookstore owner in London. He’s long been a thorn in the side of the “War Against Drugs,” and for good reason. Here was a business owner-he paid his taxes and he had clout who was also an incredibly erudite public speaker who could debate the subject with authorities endlessly. He’s since departed London for greener pastures out west, but I can still vividly recall one of the first assignments I ever did for Imprint. It was covering a public hemp rally in front of the London police headquarters, organized of course by Emery. I remember what it was like at that meeting realizing for the first-ever time that I could be a recreational user and do so without shame, and that regardless of what the law said, I knew I wasn’t an aberrant criminal. At the time, he had some pretty wild ideas about distributing hemp seeds, but we were straight and still respected him all the same. This is what Emery has now been charged withdistributing seeds. Not cannabis, but hemp seeds. The police insist that Emery is a criminal, but to those with eyes I ask, aren’t there better things our government could be spending our money on?

-4avt

&he?

IF”

----

The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint. Imprint is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 140, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1.

Defender of the faith Y

es... here 1 come whining once again. I just wish to comment on the great Siegfried Hall show of January 5th that was covered in the January 12th issue of the Imprint by Patrick Wilkins. I wish to thank Mr. Wilkins for a generous review of what 1 considcrcd a so-so performance on my part, but hey.,. it’s all for charity, right‘? There was another band playing there that night that wasn’t mentioned in the article. 4 Card Flush impressed me with their vocal abilities. Being a new band, they only knew cover songs, but they later informed me that they’ll begin to write together once they figure out what they are capable of as a group. On the whole the evening was a great success and I would tike to thank the organizers for having me. Scott Deneau also deserves some kudos for supplying the P.A. system for everyone’ use. Now, there was a mention made in the review about the sound levels not being quite right... well,.. I guess that was my fault since I was sort of the quasi sound technician for the evening. Sort of. On to my main point, which has to do with certain comments gathered from Imprint readers surveys that were discussed in the January 5th edition of the paper. One comment (under the heading of what one didn’t like about the Arts section j went something like: “Too many fawning reviews of talent-poor local bands.. .” Now, being a local musician myself, my first reaction upon hcaring this was to be outraged at the general

insinuation that most (if not all) K-W acts are bad. Even though I’m obviously biased, I truly believe that the K-W area per capita can compete talentwise with any big Canadian music city, including that sprawling metropfex lying 1OOkm due east of here. This area’s music scene, on the other hand, seems to be in shreds. Bar after bar either opens with a “no bands” policy (Ethel’s Lounge slogan: “No live music, one T.V.“) or switches to the D.J. format for better revenue. If a band turns 200 people to a venue the

bands to see. True, sorne are more talented than others, but if more people show up for gigs, new bands will be able to play more, feel more comfortable about it and probably will improve as a band. That an&es the whole scene better for everybody. As far as “fawning reviews’*... I have to say that I’ve seen some pretty fierce drubbings meted out upon the Imprint’s pages in the past little while. Shannon Lyon (and Swallow Records, for that matter) and Jacob’s room leap to mind as recent victims, and who can forget the incredible “QuiverAid” review last year? (If you haven’t read it you should really drop by the Imprint offices . God I didn’t play that $g. I’m not saying that I want reviewers to ljie about albums or shows that they may no,t have liked-I’m saying th.at maybe a little more respect would1 be in order (‘Ylame lyrics that flowed together with the music like sewage.. .” I mean, come on!!) from everybody. Local musicians are trying to do something positive, after all. We don’t want favors, we just want a fair chance. We have the musical talent here. We have the places to play the music. That talent needs a good environment to grow in, though, and that’s what makes (a good music scene. And if a good scene exists here, we’d all be better for it. Honest.

66**e’ame lyricS that flowed together with the nzusic like sewage... ” Imean, come on!! turnout is excellent. If someplace like Inner City &aws the same number, it’s considered a catastrophe. There are several smaller local clubs and bars that actually lean towards live music (e.g. The Moondance Cafe, The Beat, The Volcano and the current heavyweight champ The Circus Room with live music 7 days a week! ,) but the scelze just isn’t here. I suppose my point is that whoever made that statement about “talent-poor local bands” should maybe try a bit harder to find local

-M~ti#iew

and peruse aback copy) Thank

Osborne

Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters should be 500 words or less, typed and double-spaced or in electronic form, and have the author’s name, signature, address and phone number for verification. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged lo be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race. religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

A simple model TO the Editor, This letter is with regard to President Downey’s and President of the Graduate Student Association Derrick Jewal’s comment regarding the balance of public benefits with private benefits of subsidy to a University student. The key question is, how do we go about doing the calculation of the public benefits and the private benefits ofwell educated populace. My simple model (does not consider discount rate!), which of course can be expanded, is this. When a person gets a university education, assume she gets X from the public (Governments) to subsize her education. According to Statistics Canada, the average salary of a university graduate is more than, say, 2 times Y, where Y is the basic salary of a non-university graduate. The university graduate pays taxes of about 30% of their salary compared to less than 20% of the non-university graduate’s salary because of the lower income. If we use these data, the public gets back 0.6Y from the university graduate and .2Y from a non-university graduate, with a difference of 0.4Y. Therefore, the sum of X during the student’s years at university is less than sum of .4Y over the time taxes are paid, the public has net gains from its subsidy and we don’t have to worry about private gains. My estimate from reading many reports on subsidies is that the students are paying about 20% ofthe true costs oftheir education, which comes to a maximum subsidy of about $8000 per year per student. Assuming a student takes 4 years to graduate but pays taxes for the 30 or so years, the deal seems to be pretty good for the public even with current large subsidies! ! Of course, this model can be more detailed with more facts and figures but this is how we go about making a rational decision. But on the other hand, 1am pessimistic and 1 am sure neither the government, nor the university, nor the public, nor the student will take pains to come to a rational decision! -K.

Ponnambalam, of Systems Des&

Department Engineering

Overglorified filler Tu the Editor, On picking up the latest issue of Imprint (January 12, 1996), after returning from a co-op work term, I see that The Parking Lot is Full has not changed. When will its authors realize that most of their work published in Imprint is not funny. 1 do not find

the frames necessarily offensive or tactless, but the frequent lack of humour is obvious. If the authors of the frame, and the editors ofImprint, believe that the “response” their work generates indicates an equivalently massive popularity, they are wrong. When will they overcome their selfdeception and resign themselves to the fact that The Parking Lot is Full has become nothing more than tepid, over-glorified fdler.Imprint would not be any less interesting without it. -E;*‘han

Hull-Beyer

Petition response To the Editor, I have just read your latest edition in which a student by the name of Pawel Ratajczak was responding to James Russell’s F+Q5oisJohn GaIt?columnofDecember I,1995 This response really frustrates me, as he writes as if he knows exactly what everyone is thinking and believes in, and this is true, if we look at everyone from the very very narrow standpoint of how everyone SHOULD be “according to theChristianreligion.“I didn’tthink that anyone could ever be so naive, but I stand corrected. I don’t give a shit how many people signed a fucking piece of paper. According to his view, he and his 61 friends make the world turn, have an influence on everyone’s life, and are the standard for the perfect specimen of the human race, just because they are Christian. Like 1 said, really fucking naive. When Ratajczak wrote his last line, I just couldn’t hold back any longer. Saying “I expect a student newspaper to reflect the views of the students, not to insult them” totally reinforces what I said in my last paragraph. He is basically saying that anyone who doesn’t share his views is not worth considering, and in view of the number of people on campus who don’t believe in such an extreme form of religion, he is a poor deluded fool who is so blinded by religion that he can’t even notice the obvious. What he is suggesting is censorship, pure and simple. If he expects a student newspaper to reflect the views of the students, I expect it to be one of the few places in the world where anyone can write anything. Where else could one read “If we can pet animals, train them and eat them, why not fuck them?” (UBC student newspaper). Where else could we get comics like The h-king Lot is Full ? Imprint and other student newspapers of its kind are among the few bastions left on Earth where one can state views without fear of being censored for stating opinions just because they go against some fairly loud people. How else could Pawel Ratajczak be published??? -David

Demner

Petition response To the Editor, “Blasphemy!” That’s what they say. Someone says something that is just a bit challenging to an idealistic belief and all we hear is “Blasphemy!” In response to the letter by Mr. Pawel Ratajczak, printed in Jan 12 issue of Imprint, I must say I’m quite offended by what has happened. I’m a proud member of the Christian community. I was brought up in Christian ways and still being reminded by Christian ways at home. But unlike some fanatical followers, I took it upon myself to learn about the religion and was taught to question the religion, (That is, the teachings of the Bible.) Thus, I welcome claims by others challenging me to justify (or rather explain) the views of Christianity. When it comes down to the bones of the subject, it’s not about whether there exists a God or not, or whether we believe that Jesus was the son of God. The important matter is that Jesus was real. Most people can agree on that. (Maybe he was just a great teacher and nothing more.) But he was real. And for almost 2000 years people have been following the teachings of Jesus. As Christians, we are commended to go and teach the

Pete

Nesbitt

way Jesus taught us. Having said that, I must ask: Does Mr. Ratajczak’s reaction paint that of a teacher? No. I’m here to learn and I must listen to the views of all. They may teach me something that I didn’t know before. In turn I enrich their lives by explaining my point of view. I don’t believe that Imprint or the University is biased against any groups of people but merely provides grounds where we can all benefit from the mixture of beliefs. When Jesus was challenged I’m pretty sure he didn’t call out “Blasphemy!” and have a public stoning. -Young

Chung

Petition response To the Editor, I cannot believe how many students have fallen offtheir holy rockers. There’s been many a response to the way the Imprint “offends” people who believe in God, but I have never read such an amusing piece of religious propaganda as I did in the Jan. 12th issue. Being sick of all the people who have nothing better to do than get offended at every little bit of religious questioning that goes on in the minds of educated, opinion-

and

Pat

Spacek

ated individuals, I have never thought it wortlh my time to respond to the silly whining that these people never cease to stop. Then, right when I had thought I’d heard it all, up comes Mr. Ratajczak and his 62 member gang of God’s children proclaiming that “the Imprint student newspaper is mocking the religious convictions ofeveryone who believes in Gold.” Ratajczak continues, making various demands to the paper, insisting that theImprint start “treating God with the utmost respect,” and “treating Jesus with the consideration he deserves,“othexwise a withdrawal of $4.10 will occur from every member on the petition. While it is commendable that someone would want to discontinue supporting somethiing they adamantly disagreed with., this attempt at bullying people into agreeing with the notion of a God is unjust. I have never gotten the impression that anything deemed “offensive” to religion in theltmiprint hasevercalled for any members of a particular religion to abandon their faith, just think about what their belief really entails. Are Christians so unsure of the viability of their faith that they must resort to petty scare tactics in an attempt to justify their beliefs? I believe that the reaction to James Russell’s statement “there is no God” is similar to that of the first grader who is told by the sixth grader that there is no Santa Claus. Scared that everything you held faith and trust in may not exist, you simply deny that the notion could even be remotely true. While I can understand going on the defensive- after all, those who hold a belief in a religion regard the faith as a backbone for why they exist and whcrc they will go when they die -why must everyone else follow in their almighty footsteps? Every Christian has the right to believe in a God just as everyone else has the right not to. If I happen to bum in Hell for my conviction, is that not my prerogative? .Cf a cartoonist in the Imprint wants to portray Jesus urinating down on us from heaven, is that not his right? Yes, in fact it is. Amen. -Mehsu

Hunt

Petition response To the Editor,

Despite being fifteen years dead and trapped in Hell, Carlos dutifLIly sent his Mother a postcard every month.

SO she moved away and l& no forwarding address. Carlos is still in Hell.

Atheism is as valid a belief system as the belief in a god. That Pawel Ratajczalk is offended when James Russell declares that “There is no god” (January 12, Letter to the Editor) alludes not to the possibility that there is something morally wrong with Russell, but that something may be lacking in the faith of the offendee. Perhaps Ratajczak wouId state his. case more productively by publishing a column outContinued

to page 12

FORUM

12 Continued

from

student

page 11

body.

Freedom

of speech

and comeveryone does not hold the same views, everyone has the right to express their own beliefs. One does not need to respect another’s beliefs, only to respect their right to believe them. Regarding Pawel’s petition of 62 names of people who agree with him; he wants the paper to reflect the student body, and 62 people hardly seems like a significant percentage thereof (if I do my math right its in the ballpark of 0.003%). If we actually cared enough to be fanatical about these things, we could easily get 620 names on a petition of people who would find religious censorship in the Imprint to be more offensive than a joke about God (which was, we might add, quite funny). So anyway, God-boy, while we have no desire to read for weeks to come indignant responses to this letter, feel free to spout your beliefs at us personally if it makes you feel more secure. You can reach us at MITURRIAQARTSUl or GRFITZPA@MECHANICAL. Oh, and if you really feel that strongly about this whole ordeal, you can take back your $4.10 contribution and give it to Billy Graham. We’re sure he agrees with you.

mon sense guarantees that although

lining his beliefs rather than withdrawing his meagre four dollars from Imprint and explaining this rebellion through petty letters. -Nancy

Ogden

Petition response

To the Editor, We read with initial amusement and eventual pity the letter by Pawel Ratajczak (Imprint, Jan 12) regarding the issue of religious portrayal in the Imprint. The letter in question was incredibly slanted and amazingly ignorant of opposing views. The fact that Pawel took such off’ense to the cartoon makes me wonder if he is so insecure in his beliefs that the very fact that someone disagrees sends him rushing to his word processor to reassure himself that he is right and all opposing beliefs are wrong. Not only does saying that a supreme being exists offend atheists, but showing a Christian God would offend all other opposing religions. And if the Imprint should reflect the religious views of the students, then this includes Judaism, Hinduism, E3uddhism, Jehovah’s Witness, Muslim, Hare Krishna, Mormons, Snake Handlers.. . shall we go on? What kind of a patchwork quilt of a God should be used to reflect the religious beliefs of the student body? And there is still the question of the atheists. Besides, an article is supposed to reflect the view of the author, which may not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper or the

-Gord

Fitzpatrick

and Marc

Ourtiga

Hassle explained To the Editor, I am responding to David Drewe’ s piece in the January 5 edition ofImprint, where he addresses some of the flak that the paper has

IMPRINT, Friday,, January 19, 1996

taken regarding its news stories and the reactions of those involved. Mr. Drewe pointed out, among other things, that Richard Farmer threatened the paper with lawsuits and was attempting to have the articles about him

explained. Just thought

retracted, while Professor Kumar’s lawyer asked to deal withImprint “...in writing only

-Llavib

because of some quotes we attributed to him.” He then contrasted these reactions with those of the Feds and President Downey (also subjects of “negative” press in the paper), who in his estimation handled the coverage professionally and without threat of lawsuit. I think there are a few reasons for the different reactions from the various parties. First, the coverage about Professor Kumar and Richard Farmer (involving alleged sexual assault and alleged sexual harassment, respectively) dealt with issues that have far more potential for character assassination than the coverage of the Feds’ proposals, or even President Downey’s decision. What grounds could the Feds or Downey possibly have had for a lawsuit? Second, Kumar’s lawyer’s decision to deal with Imprint “in writing only” is, I suspect, standard practise for any lawyer, especially when he believes that he has been misquoted. I am surprised that correspondence from his end was not in writing form the start. Lawyers, loved(?) or loathed, are people of very carefully chosen words. Finally, the Feds and Downey are both likely to deal with Imprint again and often in the future, putting any action (legal or otherwise) low on the list of reasonable options if a cordial or civil relationship is to be maintained. Moreover, Mr. Drewe’s involvement in the Federation of Students in the past would, I expect, make action by the latter even more unlikely, although not out of the question. On the other hand, Professor Kumar and Richard Farmer are far less likely to deal with Imprint in the future, making their actions or Kumar’s lawyer’s actions a little more understandable, since there is no professional relationship at stake. Hassle

I’d bring these points

up.

Otherwise, keep up the excellent work, Dave, and keep finding

those big stories.

Lynclz

Moslh

blues

pit

To the Editor, I had a great time at Fed Saturday night, and I’d like to once again thank those individuals who can make a concert something to remember. You know, the one(s) who leave their beer bottles on the floor of the mosh pit. I’m glad you showed your maturity to the younger crowd by leaving the bottles right where everyone could trample on them. Don’t worry, you acted your 19+ age and showed how responsible you were. It sure was comforting to know that glass shards would have broken my fall. Sincerely yours, -FED (Simon

UP Lau)

ps. Luckily, I only bottles that night.

bald to pick up 5 beer

A brief neminder about our deadline: Letters to the Editor are due bby5p.m. Monday’s SLC 1116

FEDERATION OF STUDENTS

Student’s Annual

Council Election

Nominations for representatives to Students’ Council will re-open on Friday, January 19, 1996. First come, first acclaimed. 1 A.H.S. Regular ........................................ A.H.S. Co-op (both streams) ................... 1 1 Arts Regular ......................................... 1 Math Co-op ............................................ 2 Math Regular ........................................ 3 ............................................ Engineering 1 E.S. Regular 2 Science Regular ..................................... Science Co-op (both streams) .................. 1 1 Renison College ..................................... 1 Independent Studies 1 Optometry ................................................... 1 St. Jeromes Regular .................................... ...........................................

...............................

Nomination (CC235).

forms are available in the Federation

Office

Election Committee

politicians box

are chocolates

On the advent of the annual and ever so predictableelections for student government, I groan as I hear the chugging and droning of a propaganda machine set to take motion in the next couple of weeks. Elections for student government are always uneventful, always poorly participated in, and always irrelevant to the student body, no matter what the candidates may tell you. And what is it that the candidates tell you is so000 important to elect them? They pump up their portfolios four months prior to elections for starters, which I suppose, makes them more qualified. They usually get allies and run as teams, which to me doesn’t sound like a true demonstration of any personal leadership qualities. It would also seem that these candidates have trouble dealing with issues that they feel are important because they’ve opted for the group consensus. Of course weaker candidates love this support networking because the vote by association will help their chances by tagging along on another’s coat tails. Finally, thecheesy cliches they rely on to gain rapport with the student body; my favourite being “I’m going to fight for the student body and I won’t back down to anyone!” (the crowd goes wild!?!) Student government is boring. That’s why very few people get involved. That’s why very few people participate in these annual elections. That’s why I’m writing a

column debunking the lmyth that annual student elections are some great expression of democracy. Only ten percent of the student body votes for these candidates, which is 1) embarrassing, and 2) not exactly a vote of confidence for the duly elected. If the idea of having elections to get representatives of our student body is to ensure that the best candidates are chosen, why not just have a hiring committee made up of students where candidates would just hand in their trumped up resumes? It would save a lot of valuable time, it would save a lot of money, and democracy and the election process wouldn’t be so poorly disgraced with students who just don’t care, and candidates that, let’s face it, want the twenty-seven grand. And if that is their motive, I say “Go for it.” I’d support a candidate that was up front about going for the cash. At least that notion is more believable than the candidate that is trying to convince you that being a Don or a society representative makes you qualified for dealing with national student politics. Give me a break. Anybody that gets elected is going to be learning on the job. Sure, being qualified in some areas may help leaming the job easier, but student politics will essentially

be a learning experience, and will look pretty good on more trumped up resumes in the future. Does it really matter who is representing us? Bodies to fill positions to keep the notion of democracy just abovie water sound8 a little more fitting. And if that’s what these elections have come to, whLy even bother?

IMPFUNT,

FORUM

Friday, January 19,1996

13 . ..--y~$q$..+.::;:::.: :,: :&Z :$:..;g<..;~ ;::.$ ,&<% : : :,_ II:

What want

does God from us?

ne thing that all legitimate religions have in common, in addition to belief in (a) supreme being(s), is that all have a stringent moral code. Be good. Don’t be bad. Although I am not a religious person myself, I do not disrespect those who are, as long as they have consciously thought about their spirituality and what it means. Those who follow religion blindly, without questioning it, automatitally accepting authority as the whole untarnished truth, are eitherafraid, lazy, or fools. Many religious people place a greater emphasis on worshipping rather than emulating. But is your God so egotistical that if you fail to observe some feligion’soccasion (for example, going to church on Sundays), hc will rain fiery death upon you? What is more important: studying your holy book or helping a fellow human being? To use an example from Christianity, the Bible quotes Jesus as saying that whatever you do for others, you do for him. It seems that in Christianity, as well as with all religions, a tremendous emphasis is placed on doing things for others. This seems to be

lost in the muddle of religious fervour. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. If you want to be a good whatever-you-are, then do as those you worship did or taught. Studying the Bible does not of itself make one a better Christian. Being “the good Samaritan” does. More importantly, being the good Samaritan makes you a better person, whether you believe in a God or not. Volunteering at a soup kitchen,

people from atheists is that atheists do not have a security blanket to fall back upon, in the form of a sacred book. It is perhaps more difficult to be an atheist than it is to be a fervent follower of a particular religion. Religions provide a manual for how to live your life. Atheists actually have to think, and have thought. In most cases, that is why they are atheists. As a disclaimer, this is not another Christian-bashing article. The examples I have referred to are based on Christianity only because that is what I am most familiar with. However, from my experiences, it appears that these examples transcend religions, and are applicable to all. My intention is to encourage you to think about your own spirituality. This can lead to either of two things - a deeper understanding and a stronger belief in your faith, or a realization that religion is just a synonym for superstition or insecurity. Ask yourself some real questions. One that you might begin with is, “If there is a God, and he is so good and has unlimited powers, then why is this world so f...?”

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As a disclaimer, this is not another Christianbashing article... buying lunch for a poor victim on the street, or battling social injustices at the grass roots or at the political level is what makes you a better Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, etc. Going to church on Sunday cannot possibly be as important as lending a helping hand to your society, in God’s eyes. Whether someone is a believer or not does not affect their morality. The only thing separating religious

- Vilko Zbogar

of the Richest

Survival 0

rice upon a time, nature had a law: the strong would survive. The living things which could catch the most prey, survive the elements, and defend themselves against their enemies, would persevere, and procreate. Through the ages, nature has taken its toll where only the robust could endure-famine, drought, and disease. Ah, but the human race, in its infinite wisdom, created progress. We developed technology to allow all humans ticlive longer and healthier lives. allowed diseases to be’ cured or controlled, and established food production and distribution systems that let everyone, not just the strong, to persist and beget. This is the point, some say, that we have finally grabbed the reins from mother nature and gained control of our environment. Soon all on our planet, wind, wave, and weather, would succumb to our technology. We have finally broken one of the fundamental laws, that only the strong survive. Or have we? Within the last century, we have been faced with a global population explosion. We could say that our

progress towards universal longevity and our defiance of the natural malthusian checks have led us to this predicament. Nature no longer has the means to deal with us effectimely. Or so we thought. How many of the people in the world today are starving, or just barely surviving? How many people, even in industrialized nations, are living without one, cr all, of food, shelter and clothing? How many people in our

now become our bane by which nature will once more be able to control us. Those who have the skills to make money will be the survivors. They will be able to afford adequate food, housing, clothing, education, and medical care. I am a diabetic. By the old definition, I should perish in the natural order ofthings. Today, however, I will probably live a long and relatively healthy life, and perhaps, one day, I will father children. I am strong because I happen to have marketable skills, which will give me the ability to live reasonably and have access to the medical care that I require. Meanwhile, hundreds of people in third world countries with perfectly healthy organs will not have the chance to live to be my age. You may not consider economics to be a part of nature, but all things we do stem from some sort of natural process. We must stay humble, and keep in mind the enormity of the universe and its mechanics, Nature is far more powerful than one species, no matter how extensive their delusions of grandeur.

Nature no longer has the means to deal with us effectively...

neighbourhood are living without proper or sufficient medical care? Lots. And why? They can’t afford it. Nature has gotten the best of us once again. How? Old Mother Nature tip-toed in the back door and changed the definition on us. Strong now means economic stability: someone who can provide not-necessarily-essential services which are marketable. The technology that was portrayed as our saviour has

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IMPRINT, Friday, January 19, 1996

: 1 1

Hope

cerned overview on the CBC during the holidays (or, unlike me, were wise enough to discard the “Students Save Up to 80% Off Subscription Prices” brochure last fall and were not moved to subscribe to Canada ‘s Weekly Doomsmaguzinc), I’ll supply a brief summary: 18-24 year-old canadians have very little to look forward to. Not much of a news flash, I’ll admit. We entered university knowing that very few of us would have jobs come cap-and-gown time and we filled out our OSAP forms nevertheless. I am not bitter about the university experience and I would never once question that my time here has not constituted the best years of my young life so far. What stinks is that other people find it appropriate or even newsworthy to continually remind us that the years ahead are going to be rough. Pessimism is a real downer for consumer confidence, which affects umpteen dozen other economic indicators that we all know and loathe. But that isn’t quite the point. Individually, and collectively, what effect do doom and gloom predictions have on our individual expectations and ambitions? When we graduate in May, will many of us read our congratulatory cards about bright futures and snicker sarcastically? Or will we really believe that there is a future of bright opportunity ahead? The same generation that doesn’t understand the appeal of Kurt Cobain is only now coming to realize that their own inflated salaries, dividends, and pensions may be permanently scarring the quality of life they always anticipated for their children. This, my friends, is what pollsters are finally beginning to show. Unfortunately, the class that spent first-year moshing and yelling “Here we are now... entertain us!” has to somehow overcome the doom and gloom and make

something of themselves, At this point, we can resent the fact that tuition for the class of 2000 will be blown sky-high by the time they’re in our shoes-but it probably won’t change our inab& ity to provide alumni scholarships to help support them out of our puny (if any) paycheques. We can muse about how nice it would be to be rich enough to feel Mike’s tax cuts while deficit-cutting squeezes the life out of the service economy that is supposed to employ us. We can even protest and rally and write letters and work at food banks and do all the wonderful social activist things that, while necessary and important, probably won’t really change a fifty-something-waspishpolitician-in-a-dark-grey-suit’s mind about how he’ll vote on bill whatever. Or we can change what we really have the power to changeourselves. I firmly believe that ours is the first generation in quite a few that wilf survive based on its own creativity, ingenuity, and motivation. A passive approach to our futures will result in the exact crappy future all those Sunday Edition panelists are waiting to say “I told you so” about. I’ve decided that I can’t count on the government or the economy for anything. It s#cares me, but at least I won’t be whining and holding other people accountable for my own misfortune. And maybe, if Maclean’s calls to survey me next Christmas, I’ll be able to say I’m a part of the minority of lucky Canadians who are optimistic about their own personal destinies, if not their country’ s. “Despite all the rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage.” Well, maybe for four months. After that it’s up to me. Have a good term folks. -Janyce

McGregor

Imprint always needs contributions and volunteers.. We’re especially eager to secure the services of web junkies for our WWW Home if you have the right Pagestuff, come on down to Student Life Centre room 1116 and join the fast-paced universe of on-line journalism

IMPRINT,

FORUM

Friday, Januaw 19, 1996

The WV Distinguished Teacher Awards b Recently, Imprint received a letter and a petition regarding the treatment ofreligion in these pages. I was cited as one of the two sources of disrespect for Christianity. I admit it. I don’t respect Christianity. Here is just one more example of why. A year ago, a girl, Kira Canhoto, just a few days past her second birthday, died. She died alone, on a kitchen floor, after her grandmother attempted to exorcize the evil spirits from within her by forcing water down her throat until she choked, vomited and lost consciousness. Her grandmother was acting according to her religious beliefs. The grandmother, Ana Maria Canhoto, has been sentenced to two years less a day after pleading guilty to manslaughter. The judge, Margaret Woolcott, said that in deciding the sentence, she considered the fact that this is Canhoto’s first offence. Her first offence? So it is not realIy so bad to murder children the first time? Don’t do it twice, but the first time is ok? That’s total bullshit. Lets go over the facts a little more closely and see if this act is excusable in any way. Canhoto, according to documents presented in court (Canhoto did not take the stand) did not like her granddaugh-

ter’s father, She thought he was involved in drugs, and what’s more, he wore a ring that was in the shape of a two-headed serpent. Canhoto thought he was possessed by evil, and that he had passed this evil on to Kira. Canhoto visited her granddaughter last January, and after noticing that the child was in a bad temper and seeing “what she described as a strange light in the child’s eyes”, decided that the two year-old girl was possessed. Over the rest of that day and the next, she forced water down the child’s throat, thinking that the spirits would be vomited out. The mother of the child and two neighbours witnessed this (they will go to trial next week for their contribution to this death). Eventually, the child vomited and went limp. Canhoto placed the child on the kitchen floor and everybody left. They did not return for two days. Kira was long dead by that time. The autopsy revealed that the baby died on the day that she was abandoned. I think that Canhoto should not receive two years less a day for what she did. She should die. Few crimes merit the death penalty, but this is one of them. Canhoto is not mentally deficient in any way and was not insane; she

Silencing T

he problem with working at a paper - and this is nothing I haven’t spoken or written about before - is balancing the viewsofcompetingopinions...even at a student level. Imprint has a relatively open policy: you write it, and it will get printed, barring a few provisos. Obviously, we couldn’t print a sports article claiming that our football Warriors had won the Vanier Cup. That would be a lie. News stories have to be factual (well, duh, you’re probably thinking). For opinion pieces, the lines are quite a bit more blurred. The banner on the Letters to the Editor page clearly states that, “The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.” Two weeks ago, Imprint rej ected a comic proposal. The comic was homophobic, sexist, and in my opinion, rather devoid of humourous value. Not necessarily discriminatory, but that’s beside the issue. Last week, James RusseIl took issue with the decision, made by the Imprint staff, writing that the phrase *‘community standards” is “exactly the type of bullshit catchphrase that politicians like to throw around because it is sounds good and is completely devoid of meaning.” James goes on to pose a

knew was judge tions over

what she was doing when she torturing that little girl. The conceded that Canhoto’s acwere “deliberate and occurred an extended period of time.” Canhoto does not take responsibility for the crime; she implicates, you guessed it, the devil. One might hope that after such a terrible event, Canhoto might %ee the light” and toss her religious beliefs in the trash. She has not. According to the judge, Canhoto’s mission to save souls has only intensified since she murdered her granddaughter. So, she killed a little girl, she takes little blame, and the beliefs that led her to such a horrible act have not lessened, they have intensified! Paul Bernard0 tortured and killed K&ten French and Leslie Mahaffy. For that, he deserves to die. What’s the difference in this case? Nothing, except that it was a two year-old who was tortured, not teenagers. Does that mitigate it? No. It was not strangers that Canhoto killed, it was her granddaughter. Does that mitigate it? No. I say toast her. -with fires from the Globe ad rind the K-W Record

Mail

p.s. Watch Nightstand Deitrich on Saturday goddamn hilarious,

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with

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To nominate your outstanding instructor, contact the Teaching Resources and Continuing Education (TRACE) office MC 4055, ext. 3132 Nomination deadline:

February

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MAUL, TRACK5TO TWCL

dissent

few questions which supposedly prove his point, because he believes there are no answers to them. James is wrong (in this case) because the questions he asks are very easily answered. who is the community? This can be answered in two equally satisfactory ways: either the community is the writers, contributors, staff, readers, and advertisers of the Imprint, or the community is the students, staff, faculty, and alumni of the University of Waterloo. What are it ‘.s boundaries? The boundaries are not deftned by physical geography, but by social, business, and historical relationships, as defined above. who is included and who isn ‘t? See above. Exactly what ure its standards? Look at the banner for the Letters to the Editor, or check out University of Waterloo Policy #33. James is a firm proponent of free speech. I could be wrong, but I don’t think James would change his mind regarding censorship even when his questions are answered. Then, at the other end of the spectrum, we have Senate candidate Pawel Ratajczak, who not only thinks that Imprint should avoid libel and discrimination, but that we shouldn’t challenge anyone’s beliefs, or poke fun at them. Pawel feels that cartoons which poke fun at religion insult people who subscribe to religion, Perhaps he’s right. Pawel feels that views contrary to Christianity insult

Christians. I doubt that he’s right, I’m going to throw out the two main reasons why I don’t subscribe to Christianity, just for the sake of PaweL First regarding the Catholic Church: it has at times acted with more corruption than any government currently in power. It has presided over the slaughter of people, and a few Popes were pedophiles. I don’t want to respect that Christian tradition. Secondly, most ofthe Protestant religions were formed on a paradox: “I don’t like the rules of the prevailing version of Christianity, so I’ll modify it slightly so it suits my particular desires, and declare myself in charge of this new Church.” But my beliefs aren’t the issue here. The issue is that a firm advocate of censorship is running for University Senate. Pardon me if I reserve my vote for just about anyone else. The last thing UW needs is a Pat Robertson wannabe to be given some form of legitimacy. By the way, don’t expect Pawel to read this, because he’s already withdrawn his Imprint fee, well before the three week ultimatum he andhis Spanish Inquisition imposed expired. Given a choice, I’d prefer to deal with James, who will deal with an argument he disputes on its relative merits, than Pawel, who’d prefer to have the dissenting voices silenced. -David

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ply ride our bicycles in the winter because it is the best way to get around, For those of you who are already riding your bikes or wish you could, here are some maintenance and riding tips to help you and your bike survive the winter weather. Winter Maintenance Tips Depending on how the weather continues over the next few months, it is important to have your bicycle ready for the winter and spring weather. Tires Treaded tires are ideal for snow and ice since they offer more traction. The knobby tires that come with most mountain bikes will work well. Ifyourtiresareslickorskinny, you should consider getting wider tires with a more aggressive tread, Local retailers should be able to help you with your selection. For racing or” 1O-speed” bicycles, cyclocross tires offer a good choice for a winter bike tire. Fenders If you don’t want to ‘ruin your favourite winterjacket or soak eve-

riding?Are

Do-It-

es, theuniversity ofwaterloo does have a Bicycle Centre. Thegoal ofthc UW Hike C’cntre is to promote cycling in the UW community by providing: affbrdable access to general & routine self-repair, affordable Rr. safe storage facilities andgcncral knowledge of cycling salty.

Yourself Repair The Do-It-YourselfRepair Service provides the tools and the location for you to work on your bicycle. Anyone with a valid UW ID card (including students, faculty and staf’f) can bring their bicycles to the Bike Centre to perform most types of bicycle repair. Come down to change a tire, adjust yvur dcraillours or o\ &au1 your botfom bracket. ilj‘ you don’t

Get $2 credB towards your next Pisit to the WV Bike Centit: just by fW.3n.g out this $UICK qucstiantic. W’htrt you have completed the sunmy, slide it under the door to the Bike Cantm or drop it off during

Afttmoon

rything in yourbackpack on the way while it’s on the bicycle witha chain posed parts on your bicycle to preto school, a set of fenders can keep cleaner and some citrus degreaser. vent rust (the cyclist’s mortal enthe slush, salt, dirt and water away Once it is clean, a heavy lube like emy). Put a thin layerofgrease onall “Pm’s Tenacious Oil” will stick to from you. exposed cables. Place a few drops of Although the smaller off-road your chain and keep it running for a oil or other lubrication on the pivot clip-on fenders arc easier to points of both derailleurs install and look nicer on (the things that move the your bicycle, they do not chain back and forth over always provide enough the gears). coverage to keep everyChzn ing thing clean. The more often you Tire Pressure clean your bi kc, the better. To make it easier to Since outdoor hoses are pedal your bicycle (dehard to find in the winter, crease rolling resistance) use an old rag to wipe off and to protect your rims, it as much dirt and salt as is important to keep your possible. It never hurts to bicycle tires properly ingive your bi ke a wash with flated. Check the: recomdish soap and water, but mended pressure on the only if you have time to side of your tires and then dry and lube it afterwards. pump them up. Advanced Maintenance lf you don’t have a For those ofyou who pump, the red Air Serve air are feeling more adventurcompressor is conveniently ous (or who have more located on campus, just outtime on your hands) there side the Bike Centre. For are a few other prcvcntive only a quarter you can keep measures that will prolong your bicycle tires at their the life of your bicycle. correct pressure. To prevent the nuts Lubricate the exposed parts of your bike. Chain Lube and bolts from rusting or Your bicycle chain suffers a lot few days until it is time to clean it seizing together, the threads of the of abuse. It needs to be cleaned and again. bolts can be lightly greased. You lubricated on a regular basis during Lubrication can coat the inside of the frame with the winter. You can clean the chain It is important to lubricate exoil to prevent rust.This is a rather

l-ookingfor by UW Bike Centre special to Imprint

you crazv?

acheap understand a word, don’t worry, there will be courses offered, repair manuals available and staffready to lend a hand.) The Hicycle Centre is equipped with a full range ofrepair tools to fix any part of your bicycle. There is a bicycle workstand to hold your bicycle, a wheel truing stand to make your whecIs round again and all sorts of wrenches to keep your- nuts and bolts screwed-on tight. Use all of these tools costs only $lihour. To use the available dogreaser, oil or grease to keep yrwr bicycle running smoothly, it costs only another dollar. Unfortunately, the Do-lt-Yourself Repair Shop is not a retail bicycle store so we do not sell any parts or work on your bicycle for you. You will have to bring any parts you need with you to the UW Bike Centre. If you have any more questions, or want to check us out, just drop by during open hours: Do-It-Yourself Repair Service Hours of operation: IPM-3PM Mondays Tuesdays Noon - 3 PM Wednesdays lPM4PM Thursdays 2PM-6PM (Until further notice. Updates are posted on the door of the Bicycle Centre, the Bike Centre Bulletin Board and on our Web page.) Sturage In the very near future we are planning on offering some type of indoor storage. We hope to offer

fix?

long-term storage (so you can keep your bike here during your work term) or daily indoor storage or both depending on your preferences. Vulun teers There will be a meeting next Monday for anyone intercstcd in volunteering at the Do-it-yourself Repair Shop. It will take place Monday, January 22, 1996, in the U W Bike Centre (SLC 0101 A) from 5:OOPM until 4:OOPM. If you can’t make it, j ust drop us a note by email or slip it under the door. Cycling hformation For more infomlation, check out our bulletin boards inside the Bike Centre and in the SLC between the

Need

a hand?

complex procedure that involves removing the front fork, seat post and bottom bracket and using a basting bulb to pour oil down the inside of the tubes. If t:his seems too compiicated, don’t ‘worry, not too many people bother with this anyway. Winter Riding Tips Since winter weather is synonymous witlh slippery roads, you will need to be especially careful with cornering and braking. When riding over manhole covers, wooden surfaces and lines painted on thle roads, pay special attention since these surfaces are very slippery when wet. Puddles often hide bad sections in the road or broken glass so be careful when going through them. When riding on frost, use a mediumgear a.nd the rear brake only. On black ice, do not brake or tunl since traction is nonexistent. On snow, use your front brake with discretion and stick to a medium gear. A good reference for more riding tips is “Cycling Skills - A Guide for Teen and kidult Cyclists” by the Ontario Ministry ofTransportation. Copies are aviailable in front of the Turnkey Desk.. Have fun winter ridingbut remember, don’t lick your frame.

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volunteers

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Pyette

staff

he Western hockey program is worried. They haven’t felt this way in a while but right now, the Mustangs are feeling owned. For a team that’s used to striking fear rather than taking it, the Londoners dislike their current relationship with the Waterloo Warriors. The ‘Stings don’t like it because the Warriors own them. Wednesday night in London, the Warriors came into town riding a six game winning streak and smoked the ‘Stangs 5-3 on the aid of three third period bullseyes. Currently, the Warriors’ last loss dates back to November against

Laurentian in the City of the Ugly Rocks (Sudbury). Since then, the Warriors have looked like world-beaters, mauling any poor outfit who dares impose on their path. They are unbeaten in ‘96, and their win over Western allows them to pull even with their most-hated rivals+ Certainly, barring any alcohol binges by the CIAU rankings committee, Waterloo will now leapfrog Western into sixth or seventh in the country. Pretty impressive for a Warrior team not expected to do much this year. Don McKee has his men playing at their optimal prime, banging, shooting, and skating. As general manager Joe Cascagnette remarked, “We played some typical

Warriors

Heaven Warrior hockey in the third. We hit, skated, stayed focussed, and scored opportune goals.” I’d say. Tied 2-2 after two ice resurfacing sessions, Waterloo shocked the Horsies with a Sheldon Gilchrist snapper that busted the twine a mere fourteen seconds into the third period. The ‘Stangs tied things 3-3 three minutes later, but rookie Peter Brearley, who just recently won a prestigious scholarship award from the Kitchener Rangers, potted the winning marker. shortly thereafter. The Warriors added one more on a Matt St. Germain rush, before reverting into checking mode and trapping Western into frustrated and unfruitful play. Western keeper Sean Basillio

eke out win

by Peter Brown special to Imprint

t is rarely that a must-win game comes so early in a season, but that’s exactly what Wednesday night’s home-opener versus the Wilfid Laurier Golden Hawks was for the Waterloo basketball Warriors. Lose, and the W;iTiors drop to O-3 (followingapairofcloseweekend losses in Thunder Bay, 90-87 in overtime and 76-75) and wallow in the basement of the always strong Ontario University Athletic Association’s west division. Win, and they can begin to climb back to SO0 instead of just worrying about making the playoffs. Despite surrendering a double-digit lead for the third game in a row, Waterloo eked out a strange 9 l-89 overtime win over the Hawks, good enough to put them in third place in front of Laurier and the Windsor Lancers, who travel here tomorrow for a 2 p.m. start. That’s the good news. The bad news is that UW has yet to play any of the top four teams in the eight-team division. Their first foray into the dizzying heights of the OUAA West will come next Wednesday at the University of Western Ontario’s Alumni Hall. Wednesday night, UW came precariously close to a disastrous start to the season. Up by 2 1 points in the first and by 15 at half-time, the Warriors started the second half with a panic attack and let Laurier ring offa 278 run to take a four-point lead. “It’s the same thing that happened to us up at Lakehead,” Kieswetter said. “We’re playing well, we start to gap the other team and our mindset changes. We’re looking at the score and trying to protect our lead.” Laurier stretched out their lead to nine with a Peter Kratz threepointer before UW started a come-

Stroeder

sails to

the hoop.

back of their own. Finally, with 33 seconds to play, Matt Williams hit a three to tie it at 81-8 1. Mano Watsa stole DavidMoore’s inbound pass togive Waterloo one more possession, but Watsa’s short jumper off the glass wouldn’t go and overtime ensued. The drama continued in overtime when, with Waterloo leading 90-89 and the clock ticking down to single digits, Laurier’s Moore intercepted an errant Watsa pass, only to have Nick Poulimenos steal it right back and pass to Mark

Hopkins, who was fouled. Hopkins hit one of his two free throws, and Stuart Tait’s last-second shot fell short. Mike Stroeder led the Warriors with 20 points before fouling out late in regulation time. Hopkins had 16 points, on 6of-8 shooting, and 9 rebounds. WiIliams, Mark Eys, Watsa, and Tom Balfe all made it into double digits, with 14, II, 11, and 10 points respectively. Williams was a perfect 4-of-4 from three-point range.

played well, but fell apart in the third periodi, and amazingly enough, didn’t record a save. The Warriors took three shots, and oh baby, they scored on a11 three. Joe Harris played a steady game. The “Jolltin’ One” has shrunk his goals-against average considerably in the prolonged winning streak and has once again proved he is better than Basillio. Remember: in the playoffs, goaltending is the difference. The other Watior goals were scored by Steve Smith and Peter Brearley. Last weekend, the Warriors dumped York 5-2 and Laurentian 6-5. The Warriors go for eight in a row Saturday in Windsor.

in OT For Laurier, Kratz hit for 22 points while th.e trey-happy Hawks shot 8-of-20 from beyond the arc. Football convert Andrew Scharschmidt had 13 points, along with 11 boards. Last Friday night at Lakehead, Watsa hit a three-pointer at the buzzer to tie the game, but UW succumbed to the Nor’Westers in overtime, 90-87. Stroeder led UW with 19 points on g-of- 13 shooting, with Williams, Hopkins, and Watsa scoring 14, 14, and 13 respectively. Craig Law had 35 for Lakehead. Saturday night’s loss was far more gut-wrenching. Waterloo led 54-35 in the second half, but hot Nor’Westers hands got Lakehead back into the game and tied it in the final minute. Stroeder scored to give UW a two-point lead with 12 seconds to play. After a timeout, Lakehead sprinted down and nailed a threepointer with six ticks left, to go up by one. With the clock ticking, Watsa dumped the ball low to Eys, who missed on his first shot, but collected his own rebound and goes up with it. The ba.11 went in this time, but the clock hlad expired a fraction of a second bei’ore Eys released the ball. In Saturday’s game, Williams hit 4-of-6 three-pointers in leading the Warriors with 14 points. The Lancers, O-3 after losing at home to the IMustangs, 98-85, on Wednesday night, are looking to climb out of the basement and make a run for that sixth and final playoff spot. It’s tough going this year for head coach Mike Havey, what with the loss to graduation of his team’s only all-star calibre player, Patrick Osborne, along with Jamie Pepper. The team is led by fourth-year forward Mark Baggio (6’-4”). The Lancers have a.couple of 6’7” players, Chet Wyldrzynski and Geoff Stead, but both are rookies.

IMPRINT,

Black by Patti Imprint

SPORTS

Friday, January 19,1996

Plague

infects

Laurier

Lenard staff

he Warrior VoUeyball team had no trouble defeating the Laurier Golden Hawks in three sets on Wednesday night. They played in what has come to be known as “true Warrior-style”, putting away the ball time and time agam. Head Coach Tony Martins said of the match, “we played well in the first two games, but not in the third. We lost our focus in the third game. We put in a sub. who just couldn’t focus, and that broke us down a bit. We had some trouble blocking against them in the third match, and our blockers need to be more disciplined.” And, the scores show this to be true. The Warriors won the first two games with scores of 15-8 and 15-4. Yet, as they’re concentration lapsed part-way through the third game, the Hawks managed to keep the score roughly equal throughout it. Regardless, the Warriors pulled themselves together and won the final two points, with a final score of 15 13. In fact, that is

A golden

chicken

gets stuffed.

where the Warriors are putting their effort now; in pulling themselves together. Al Schroeder has returned to the team, after recovering from knee

Athenas by Ryan Imprint

“Boops” staff

Pyette

any times, sports is correctly compared to a roller coaster. Wednesday night at the PAC, the Waterloo Athena basketball team found themselves experiencing a season-full of ups and downs in one game against their archrivals, the Wilfiid Laurier Golden Hawks. In a heartstopping affair, the Athenas (l-4), highly favoured, dropped a 75-72 double-overtime decision to the Hawks (2-4) in the most entertaining game Waterloo fans have been treated to in a few years. This one featured every element of a good basketball game: drama, fast-paced action up-and-

A double

down the court, at least a dozen lead changes, tough rebounds, and big plays. A good example of the intensity displayed occurred late in the first overtime when Hawk smurfguard Lisa Moore stole the ball from Athena guard Mary-Frances Lapthome, only to be “accidentally” punched in the face. The Athenas led 30-28 at half, but were promptly passed by the Hawks early in the second, and the lead changes began. Waterloo head coach Kathy Keats felt the inability to put the Hawks away signed the Athenas’ death certificate. “Laurier hit a few bank shots to keep them in it,” observed Keats. “We kept giving them chances... and our shooting from the foul line hurt us (the girls missed ten charity shots in the second half).jf we take care of those things, the game never

block

on a Hawk.

The

Warriors

surgery. He is wearing a brace on his left knee, and is being reclimatized to the Warrior team. Martins said that part of the object of this game was to “involve Al

drop 20T goes into overtime.” Waterloo also experienced foul trouble, with veterans Lori Kraemer and Mary-Frances Lapthome bidding farewell during the extra sessions, and Christina Williams playing most of the game with four naughties hanging over her head. In the extra periods, Jacalyn White stepped up for the Athenas. Finishing with 26 points, the 6’3” White went low post for her four overtime buckets. Unfortunately, none of the Athenas could match Laurier superstar Sarah Collins, the second-year forward who poured in an incredible 37 points, half the Hawk total. Jodi Hawley and Jena Steele, both Waterloo guards, provided play o’ the day material throughout the game; Hawley leaping to intercept a court-long pass and being

beat

WLU

3-O.

Schroeder as much as possible. I told Brian to set to him when he could.” Indeed, it’s the little things that the Warriors are now working

on perfecting, as play-offs approach. Martins said thlat the focus is now on “running the middle to make them consistent.” It’s the inconsistencies in the middle line-up that results in most of the Warrior lost points. Martins; is hoping to eliminate the “care-free” style of blocking and replace it with a more steady one. Once the team manages to iron out the crinks in its playing style, it will prove to be unbeatable. In fact, that is the plan at this point in the season. The Warriors are currently in a strong second in the Wcstem Division, and will likely end the season in this pIosition. Regardless, their goal is to emerge victorious in the Division play-offs. This is where their sights are now set. If the manner in which they played is any indication of their talent, the only problem the Warriors face is a 1baMe against their concentration andmotivation level. They will have to want to win. Although, to explain away the slight loss of concentration experienced by the Warriors, Martins quietly admits that “it’s quite hard to motivate yourself when you’re playing such a bad team [Laurier].”

thrill ber fouled on the play; Steele driving the lane, getting hacked, and converting the three point play. As a whole, Waterloo played impressive offensively, mixing up the low post with some timely outside bombs. Laurier seemed to think the 3-point line was a launch pad. Despite the loss, the Athenas put forth an encouraging effort. Keats recognized the impact of the game, but put the situation into

perspective. “Sure, we’re disappointed, but there’s still a lot of work to be done, and a lot of time left in the season. We’ll just to approach it that way.” The Athenas do have a long way to go to get back into the pIayoff picture, but the way they played Wednesday night, opposing teams will be s.leeping a little less comfortably the night before a date with Waterloo.

Imprint sports.. we're good sports!

* TNURSDAY TO SUNDAY FWKUP ONLY * TAXES EXTRA * EXPIRES: JAN. 26,1996

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

The

Informer

he Informer has the week off. He/she’s exhausted, he/ she missed Coach ‘s Comer, and needs a vacation. In his/her place, we offer... the Mid-Term Awards for the NHL. Since the season is half-over and the All-Star game is upon us, it’s time to look at the tittilating favourites for the important awards if they were chosen today.. . Best Player: (tie) Mario Lemieux (Pens), Eric Lindros (PMey) - Was there any doubt? Best Defenceman: Chris Chelios(Hawti) - Second on team in points; plays 45 minutes a game Best Goalie: John Vanbiesbrouck (Panthers) - Great goalie, great statistics, great season. Best Rookie: (tr’e) Eric Daze (Hawks), Daniel Alfredsson @ens) --Daze could be the next Andreychuk, and as for Alfic, anyone who snipes twelve for Ottawa deserves some sort of mention. Worst Player: Alexandre Daigl c @ens) -Wars t plus/minus on the planet, only 13 points, high expectations, overpaid. Off-ice, he dumped Alanis Morrisette before she became a megastar. The gods don’t like you, Alex. Worst Defenceman: Jamie Macoun (Leufi) - His plus-six rating proves the statisticians can be bought. Best Coach: Doug Maclean (Panthers) --No one has done so much for so little with so little. Worst Coach: Steve Kasper (Bruirzs) -Sat Neely. Either is ridiculously stupid or Sinden is pulling the puppet strings.

Imprint

Friday, January 19, 1996

Tradition? a special

What’s

edition...

Comeback of the Year: (tie) Mario Lemieux (Pens), Gary Roberts(FZamesj -Lemieux could have just retired, but is now on pace to break the single season points record. Roberts went 20 months without playing a game, then won Player-of-the-Week in his first week back.

by Jeff Imprint

N ow

some of fhe more important a wards.. . Biggest Head on a Player: Tie Domi (Leafs) -At least the size of a basketball. Biggest Head on a Commentator: Bob McKenzie (Tslv) You’ll never see Domi and he on the same television screen. Not enough room. Worst Milk Ad: All of the ones done by Doug Gilmour (L eafs)--I d on’t drink milk anymore. ‘Nuff said. Biggest Disappointment: Patrick Roy(Av&nche) -Used to be an incredible goaltender and a real classy player for Montreal. Now he’s playing for Colorado. Most Annoying Trade Rumors: Wayne Gretzky (Kings, @ now) --‘Nuff said. Top Over-achieveing Former Leaf Prospects: Y anic Perreault & Eric Lacroix (Kings) -Neither played well enough to make an aging and underwhelming Leafs squad. Now they’re double-digit goal scorers with Los Angeles. Go figure. Best Player Still Enjoying the Season on the Sidelines: Kirk Mhllu (islanders?) --Joe Niewendyk and Curtis Joseph were

SportS

we beat the crap out of Western!

Peeters staff

in the running until recently, but now Muller is the sole recipient. Congratulations Kirk! Doug Wickenhieser Award for Unfulfilled Talent: F&dekBonk (Sens) -9 goals in about 80 NHL games since he was drafted number 3 overall two years ago. I guess the Senators really did get Bonked on that one. Best Second Line in Hockey: New Jersey Devils -It’s a dam shame that they have to play on the first line though. Ugliest Player in Hockey: Tim Hunter (Various teams) - Whistler’s got nothing on this boy’s nose. 12 time defending champion. Worst Team to Get a BrandSpankin’ New Arena: Ottawa Senators. New arena + same players = same result. Do the math. Ulf Samuelsson Award for the Dirtiest Player in Hockey: Ulf Samuelsson (Rangers). ‘Nuff said. Well, that’s it for the awards. Enjoy the T 5- I2 All-Star game and we’ll see you back when the season is back at it. The quest for the playoffs begins now!

Miller

Time

by Jeff Miller and April Harper special to Imprint

uring the past week, Major League Baseball owners considered a plan that would see interleague play starting in 1997. The owners, concerned with Major League Baseball’s sagging popularity, think that interleague play will help revitalize a sport that needs a good shot in the arm. Interleague play, however, is the wrong medicine. Not since the designated hitter rule was introduced in 1972 has anything so utterly stupid been proposed for baseball. One ofthe greatest aspects of the World Series (assuming that there is one this year) is the fact that you already know that the two participants did not meet at all during the regular season. No head-to-head stats. No analysts saying that while Team A won the regular season series, Team B is hot and could turn the tables. Nothing. Just the two league champions getting it on for up to seven glorious games to decide baseball supremacy, With interleague play, we would have to wait and see if the World Series is a rematch or not. Yay, Baseball is a sport that is built heavily on tradition. When you mess with tradition, you cut away at baseball’s very foundations. The owners do not care about tradition. Ail they want is their money. They pushedthelimitsofgoodtastewhen they introduced the new playoff format. Now, they have gone too far. They are trying to eliminate one

he competitive season of the UW Warrior and Athena Track and Field team was kicked off with a bang this past Saturday with 20 big personal bests @b’s) and 2 CIAU qualifiers. The site was the York University field house where many of this provinces runners jumpers and throwers met for the year’s first major showdown. Jeff Miller and Jill Bennett led the Warrior and Athena contingent, respectively, as they qualified in their individual events for the CIAU championships to be held March 8,9 at the University of Windsor’s St. Dennis Centre. Athena sprinters showed great promise, led by superstar Jill Bennett. Jill finished the 60m hurdles in 8.95 seconds, qualifying herself for the CIAU’s. Personal bests were achieved in the 6&n race by Rachel Nickie (8.08s) and AndreaBeland (8.73s). Nickiealso demonstrated prowess in the 300m race with a personal best performance of 42.01s. Melissa Hulford followed Nickie closely, with an exceptional time of 43.36s. In the men’s 60m, four Warriors set personal bests. Football transfers Tory Locker and Tulu Makonen ran 7.42 and 7.17 respec-

that? of the only things that baseball has going for it right now. Any benefits of interleague play will be severly overshadowed1 by the fact that one of its most sacred traditions has been violated by a bunch of MORONS who stopped caring about the game. The owners, along with the players, ruined the game’s image with greed. Now, instead of cleaning up their own dirty act, they are messing with the tradition of a once great game to try and compensate. If interleague Iplay goes through, I sincerely hope that the owners will be able to look at themselves in the mirror, knowing that when Major League Baseball was on life-support, that they pulled the plug. Speaking of assholes messing with tradition, it’s a sad day when the Americans start trying to change the great Canadian institution known as Hoclkey. Seems thalt American hockey viewers are blind and can’t see the puck on TV. To counter this, FOX TV has decided to attempt to implement a new puck that contains a computer chip that allows you to see the puck better. Isn’t it funny that Canadians have had no trouble seeing the puck on TV for all these years? The puck has remained basically the same since 1875. Now FOX, in its pursuit to be the 3M of sports broadcasting, is trying to improve on something that has been effective for 121 years. Oh well, what can you expect when Canada’s game is being run by an America.n.

at York

tively, proving they’re as strong on the track as they are on the field. Jumpers Fred Hazelton and Jeff Miller also ran personal bests, proving that they can jump as well as they fly. Makonen make the “A” final, placing third amongst some CIAU hopefuls. First year trackie Rob Giesen, a third year Engineering student personal best in the men’s 300m with a time”of 39.25. Tulu “Stud” Makonen used his blistering 60m speed to clock 35.68 seconds in the same event, just offthe ClAU standard of35.34! This dynamic duo again pb’d in the men’s 4 by 200m of which Mike Malott and Tory Locker were a part. Also in men’s sprints, Miller and Gieson improved their times to 55.9 and 55.7 seconds respectively in the 4 by 400m relay. Pounder, Cheryl Turner represented the women’s distance squad well on Saturday with two strong showings in the 1OOOm and 1500m races. Veteran Judith Leroy took a days rest after an intense race Friday night where she successfully finished in fourth place at the Hamilton Spectator Games in Copps Coliseum. Only three men from the distance team competed at York; Gord Kenny in the 1OOOm and Rich Lander and Jason Krell in the 3000m. Kenny proved the strongest with a solid time in his event.

Meet

He clocked a respectable 2:48.75. Andrea Beland and Val Lingard both got an excellent “jump” on the start of their season with strong shlowings in the high, and longjumps respectively. Suzan Cvitkovic showed improvement in her shot put as she threw to a personal best of 11.05m. Two veteran jumpers are hoping to make their marks at the CLAU championships this year. Jeff Miller, last year’s gold medalist at CIAUs, continued his ways as Lord of the Skies with a vault of 5.1 Om, 5cm above his CIAU winning j ump last year. Miller is currently ranked first in the CIAU and hopes to win the event again this year. Steffan Watson, a second year member of the Warrior track team, is slowly moving in on the CIAU high jump stiandards. Watson soared to a jumlp of 1.90m Saturday and looks to improve with every meet. Special thanks to trainers Tim and Stacey for all their help and encouragement over the past weekend. Coach McFarlane was pleased with the weekend’s results and anticipates exciting weekends to come. The team will leave for the St. Dennis Centre in Windsor today for the Can-Am Team Challenge to face even tougher competition from the CIAU championship team, the dirty Windsor Lancers!

IMPRINT,

The Eagle was a shark

TSN by Jeff Imprint

Picken staff

erhaps the finest hockey memory I have is of the 1987 Canada Cup final series between Canada and the Soviet Wnion. Tied at 5 goals apeice with time winding down in the 3rd period, Gretzky sent Lcmieux streaking in on the goal, Lernieux blasted the puck past the helpless goaltender, and we proved we were the seatest country in the world. Nothing could possibly ruin that moment in the annals of hockey history. Well, I used to think that. For over 30 years, Alan Eagleson was one ofthe most prominent melI in the National Hockey League, representing star players the likes of Bobby Orr, heading up the NHL Players’ Association, and behind the scenes screwing over player after player. While covering a reunion of the 1970 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, Russ Conway began to notice a common thread among the players discussions. Many of them, in some way or another, had been screwed over by Alan Eagleson. Conway began to collect more stories along the same lines, promises broken, deals skewed, money lost, and before long, raised enough doubt to have Eaglcson indicted on a multitude of fraud and racketeering charges, and removed from the head of the NE-jLPA. For any devoted hockey hn, this book is an absolute must. The story laid out is one that anyone with a serious interest in the game should take the time to read. This book shows us the side of professional athletics rarely brought to light in the media. Granted some players, like Phil Esposito go on to successful careers after hockey, but for every success there are dozens

Who’s holding make the call.

his past weekend saw the mighty Waterloo nordic skiers race the prestigious Mono-nordic event at Orangeville and, again, come away with great results. The Warriors, training towards improving upon their OUAA silver medals from a year ago with their sights set on challenging Lakehead for top honours, again dominated the other attending universities. Steve Daniels and Brent Curry led the way finishing 3rd and 4th. Close behind was Brad Frenette who was followed by fellow team veterans Kevin Thomson andNorm

The

of Doug Harveys, warriors forced to live out their remaining years in dire poverty and pain. And from the evidence Russ Conway uncovered, it appears Alan Eagleson played a major role in that strife. As the head of the NHL Players’ Association, Eagleson was responsible for looking out for the best interests of all the players in the league. At the same time however, he was also personally representing a large number of players in the league. And still, he had personal interests in various legal and and financial companies he encouraged the players to work with. Further, he lied to the players about their insurance coverage among other things, and refused to aid the players he didn’t represent. And, as if that wasn’t enough, he was a very good friend of John Zeigler, the President of the NHL. As a result, the NHL Players’ Association was led for many years by a corrupt man more interested in advancing his own personal wealth than advancing the state of hockey. Initially started as a newspaper column in Lawrence Eaglein Massachusetts, Tribune Conway’s findings escalated to the

Nordic-ers by Norman 0’Rei.Q special to Imprint

the trophy?

Eagle

or Peter

Brown?

You

aforementioned indictment, and the publication of all the facts he uncovered in relation to this story. Game Misconduct is a beautitilly composed, if not horrifying, look at the off-ice practices of the NHL owners and Alan Eagleson. Through interviews, investigation and anecdotes, Conway managed to trace three decades of deceit and betrayal by Alan Eagleson. While this book could easily give off the appearance of being a witchhunt, Conway managed to conduct his investigation into the NHLPA and Eagleson professionally, and this chronicled quite convincingly in the book. What we do get, is a well documented, proven look at one of the most corrupt men in sports history, and the people who’s lives he helped to ruin. lfyou have any serious interest in hockey, this book should be required reading. Russ Conway’s work has helped to bring down the perhaps the most powerful and unscrupulous man in the sport. In the words of Hall-of-Fame defenceman Brad Park “Every former and current NHL player owes him (Conway) the greatest gratitude and respect.” So do the fans of the game.

snow rivals

O’Reilly with Randy Fagan biting at their heels. Rookie Bernard Schneider, Al Ritchie, Brian Northan, Luigi D’Agnillo, and Peter Mills rounded out the Warrior’s results. Joanne Murray’s 6th place led a charge of 4 Athenas into the top 10. Allison Lampi was less than a second behind in 7th while Jessica Maim and Julie Murray were just slightly behind in finishing 9th and IOth, respectively. But the great showing didn’t end there. Alex Mihailovic and Leslie Schaeffer were right behind in 11 th and 12th. Natalie Sonosky and Allison Keans also had good showings for the Athenas. It’s now crunch time for the

vs. CRTC

Peeters staff

involve more playoff and toumament games, along with other special events occurring in the CIAU. here may be a new sports The only major roadblock is channel on the horizon that the CRTC, who rejected a similar could change the face of application from CTV and Molson sports broadcasting in Canada, parlast year. (CTV and Molson are, titularly for university coverage. incidentally, reapplying again this TSN, The Sports Network, has year.) One encouraging aspect for announced its application to the TSN though is the fact that they Canadian Radio. and Zt&mmmu~ already haye J&II t&e necessary renication$ QtiiXIis&st 4a:;cr-@.@ a‘. s-~urces’ In @ax;t? md a&, only exnew s&ice, TSN Pig. TSNNus is $and 8’ bit ~‘0 ~FQY@.Q tl& regional a 24 huw regianaf SES& thit service, which was & sr&ll stumwould &wide tiew&@+ith mo@ _: -I&ng point for cw l’$st y&i.. of the regional ~p~~~,getio~~ that R~$anti ~pcrm ‘covemge is they arq l&Icing Fgr. .rs3.c6xrjunctio11 something thalt ‘many sports fans with the. rcGona1 I%$wH+~ T@I have wk& f&r qgcf TSN PUS may hopes IQ deliver mure sp~ftrs COVFbe able to fin&y provide it, TSN age a@ neys thari ++t I. > Plus could .~&&$Iy, opera ‘up a T$BGYus. wuuJ~q# tie RUI+ world of oppartPmr* ‘f?i &versity try up.: :-in@ an && .pI d a -West .athleticsinth42coti*; With more region, @ided by: &! $X&S&kletision cu\rera@ mme3 more Manitoba bor&rl .,B@+I rqgbn :wwwPeSS,qwww&~pmoney, and would have its own sports coverage program improvements for all along with regional sports news as sports. If TSN Plus lives up to its well. This expansion would result promise, all amateur athletics will in more coverage of amateur athbenefit as a result. With increased letics across the country, including television exposure, uxliversity athour beloved OUAA and CIAU, letics could perhaps finally enjoy something which is sorely lacking some of the success of their Ameriat the present time. According to can counterparts. Dave Rashford, Public Relations TSN Plus, if approved, is exOfficer at TSN, the increased unipetted to begin broadcasting around versity coverage would probably January 1997.

Game Misconduct by Russ GNlwuy MacFarlane, Walter & Ross 269 pages, $29.95 by Greg Imprint

SPORTS

Friday, January 19, 1996

team as they head to the Southern Ontario Interdivisionals next weekend in Duntroon.

Athletes ofTthe Week

Jeff Miller Truck and Field Miller, a fifth-year pole vaulter, captured the University section of the Hamilton Spectator Games with a vault of 4.80 metres on Friday, 12 January. He then travelled to Toronto on Saturday to win the York University Invitational with a tremendous vault of 5.10 metres. The mark set a new UW record and was Miller’s indoor personal best. It also gave him the #l CIAU ranking. But Miller wasn’t finished. He also ran personal bests in the 50 rnefre sprint (7.75 seconds) and 4x400 relay (55.9 seconds) at the York meet. The UW team captain, Miller is a highly accomplished athlete who has represented Canada internationally and was named a CIAU All-Canadian last season.

Kuru Rice Swr;mming A fifth-year athlete and team captain, Rice had another outstanding meet at the Waterloo-Guelph Invitational this past weekend. She won her heats in the 50, 100 and 200 metre breaststroke on Saturday, and went on to win the finals in all three events, totally dominating the field and scoring a total of 60 individual points against topranked squads from Western, Guelph and McGill. A Math student, Rice was also part of the second-place 4x100 medley relay that scored 34 points and nearly eclipsed the all-time UW record in. that event. Rice finished the meet swimming the 4x 1010freestyle relay, taking fiRh place and scoring 28 points. The Athenas’ next action is January 27th at the Queen’s Open.

REB@‘)ARD THELEADERS

@UM

PLAYER Sean Basilio Matt Mullin J.P. Lewelin 3 .F. Rivard 5. Rodrique

RESULTSAND STANDINGS t%KEY RESULTS

Jan. 10 ::

McGill RMC York McGill Toronto

Ottawa

Queen's Laurier z:onyiia

Windsor Western Waterloo Laurentian

5 8 5 5

Brock Ryerson York Laurier

4 3 2

G%lph Western Windsor Waterloo Guelph

24 8

Queen's Toronto bock Ryerson Laurentian RMC Concordia Western

i 0

ii 6

Ottawa I7

7 at

Waterloo

3 l O: :

: 5 4

Hoo(EY STANDINGS MID EAST

Gzlph

18 lGsp low 6

12k

6: 52

5: 99

12 20

!b&;

16 16

10 11

45 53

71 74

GP 15

W 12

FAR EAST WR McGill

Ottawa

Concordia HID WEST Laurentian York Brock Ryerson FAR WEST Western Waterloo Windsor Laurier

GP 17 16 16 16 1"7' 16 16 16

10 9 5

W 9 7 :

: 5 11

; 1;

45A 68

2 0

67 62

z’

0 1

74 54

73 83

14 9

: 0 1

0 10: 2 73

T 1

1; 12 7

8F 88 56

4; 58 52

10 12

:':

Ottawa

Queen’ s

Brock ii HcMaster 77 Laurentian 75 York Ryerson ii Lakehead 90 Brock 83 Cuelph 78 McMaster 102 Carleton 77 York 97 Lakehead 76 Toronto Waterloo i': Western 98

Laurier Western Queen's Carleton Ottawa Waterloo Windsor Western Laurier Ryerson

87 i: 81

f': 56 75 61 89OT 85

G!i

2:3

I;4

3 2 3

: :

368 216 166 203 242 294

227 193 169 206 304 359

York Laurentian Ryerson Queen's Carleton Ottawa WEST Cue1 h Broc f: McMaster Western Lakehead Windsor Waterloo Laurier

: 2 2 t

L0 0 0 :

2 2

TP 6 : : 2 2

153 F 168

108 A 142

TP 4

179 280

159 266

t 4

277

308

162 125

150

187

2 2

VOLLEYBALL Jan.

Windsor

Brock

(17-15,

13 14

Guelph 12-15, lS+&lZ) (15-8, 15-6,315-11) Waterloo Master (U-13, 15-6) York H-9; Laurentian (15-3, Queen's lS-7,315-2) Toron to

(11-15,

15-7, H-12,

YEST Windsor

Water1 00 Western Guelph McMaster Brock Laurier

UP ii 8 6

0 0

15-9)

MW 6 6 5

Ml :

CW :;

CL 1:

TP 12 12

6 2

MPMwMLcwCL:i : 6

65 :

: :

19 24

34 34

22 12 18

31 31 30

18 18

29 29

21 14 16 20

20 28 28 28

18 8 12

26 24 24

18 10

23 22

13 13 18 13

21 21 21 21.

13 14

23 23

FC 24

FGA 58

FT 9

FTA

15 20.3 22 19.7

22 16 18

36 24 36

6 16

19 16.7

FCA 41 32 :: 23

16.7

FT 12

FTA

10 11

AVE

14 26.5 26.5

EAST John Poulimenos/York

GP 3

Cor Bailey/Lauren Car T Harper/Ryerson Andrew Rupf/Toronto WEST Kyle Rysdal e/Western A. Scharschmidt/Laur C. Wydrzynski/Windsor Crai Law/Lakehead Nige 9 Rawlins/Western

: 2 Ci 4 2 2 4 4

QR 13

9 11 9

9 OR

7 4 5

17:s

DR 23

TR AVE 36 12.0

11 7

10'7

26 10

9:s

16 DR

29 TR

8 3 AVE

27 13 11

34 17

PLAYER Steve Ray Dave Sands Kevin Shank Rob Mizak Ryan Finch Andy Brunton D. Shroeder Matt Reed D. Brownlee Rob McMullin

Queen’s

: :

:; :':

:‘:

103

8.5 8.5

16 29

8.0 7.5

6.0

VOLLEYBALLLEADING SCORERS EAST DIVISION TEAM C K A S Toronto 30 153 10 10 Toronto 24 119 6 1 York 23 106 0 14 Ryerson 18 63 8 23 Toronto 27 100 6 27 Queen’s 23 76 7 23

PLAYER Mike Slean John Szczurek R.Van Huizen Ryan MacNeil Ross Clarke David Kantor Mike Spence Mike Cvihun Paul Carter Paul Rainville

Laurier Windsor Cuelph Brock RESULTSAND STANDINGS BASKETBALLRESULTS Jan. 8 Queen's 78 Ottawa Jan. 10 Brock Laurier Western i: UcMaster Jan. 12 York 58 Carleton Ottawa Laurentian Ryerson :: Queen's Lakehead 70 Waterloo Jan. 13 Ryerson Carleton York z; Ottawa Brock 58 Windsor Lakehead 66 Waterloo Western 8S Guelph McMaster 84 Laurier Jan. 14 Laurentian 89 Toronto Jan. 17 York at Queen's Cuelph at Master Laurier at Waterloo Western at Windsor

GP 5 4 4 4 4 4 4 5

EAST York Ryerson Laurentian Queen's Toronto Carleton

CPWL 0

3 3 3 4

2 2 2 0

19';

0 1 1 1

ii 59 51 42 58 67 wm

120 89 133 106

5.2 4.9 4.9 4.6

Cross 23

TP 6

238 247 250 149 237

212 182

4 4

190

293 281

0 0

10 19

22 21

9 5

16 8 Cross 18 1s

Sec. 1 19 20 14 7 0

Sec. 2 17

22 12 5 4 Sec. 2 18

19 11

15 1

12 0

(15-3,

TP 57 54 52 20 17 TP

McMaster Waterloo

Jan. 20 B 21

Jan. 20 & 21

Jan. 19 Jan. 20

Jan. 20 & 21

1 1

Jan. 20 & 21

4 2 5

10 120 4.0 7 72 4.0

A 0 3 3 6

S 31 29 25 39

10 88 3.8 TP 161 165 137 94

PPG 7 0 614 5.7 5.5

Jan. 19 Jan. 20 Jan. 21 Jan. 24

Ryerson Queen's Cuelph Laurier

West

VOLLEYBALLSTANDINGS MP MW ML GF CA

M&aster

Western Lakehead Waterloo

8 6 7

5 4 4

3 2 3

17 13 13

13 8 13

10 8 8

11 10 105 5.3 0 14 13 0 6

10.

McGill

CIAU HOCKEYTOP TEN (OUAA teams cap-i talized; previous rankings in parentheses) 1. UQTR PATRIOTES (1) 2. Acadia Axemen (2) 3. Calgary Dinosaurs (4) 4. UNB Red Shirts (S) 5. Manitoba Bisons (9) 6. Regina Cougars (3) 7. WESTERNMUSTANGS(7) 8. WATERLOOWARRIORS(8) 9. Alberta Golden Bears (6) 10. Moncton Aigles Bleus (NR) CIAU SWIMMINGTOP TEN (OUAA teams capitalized; previous rankings in parentheses) 1. TORONTOBLUES (4) 2. Calgary Dinosaurs (1) 3. USC Thunder-birds (2) 4. MCMASTER MARAUDERS(3) 5. GUELPHGRYPHONS(NR) 6. WESTERNMUSTANGS(7) 7. LAURENTIANVOYACEURS(NR) 8, UNB Varsity Reds (9) 9. Montreal Carabins (8)

Jan. 25 Jan. 19 & LO

Rednen (6)

87 4.8

Ian.

11 86 4.8 16 109 4.7 6 56 4.7 13 116 4.5

THIS WEEKIN ME OUAA BADMINTON Jan. 20 &Crossover Round Robin II at Ryerson

Jan. 21 Jan. 19 Jan. 20

Jan. 21 Jan. 23

Jan. 24

BASKETBALL Lakehead at Brock Laurentianat Ryerson Toronto at Carleton Laurier at Guelph Western at McMaster Windsor at Waterloo Lakehead at Brock Laurentian at York Toronto at Ottawa Ryersqn at Queen's at Carleton ~~IJ~~; at Toronto Brock at Guelph Waterloo at Western Windsor at Laurier

10:00 a.m. 10:00 a.m. 8:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m.

Jan. 21

Jan. 23 Jan. 24 Jan. 25

Jan. 21

8:OO 8:00 8:00 8:OO

p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. 8:00 p.w.

CURLING East Sectional 8:30 a.m. 21 at Kinuston Curlinq Club 8:30 a.m. Jan. 20 West Sictional c 8:30 a.m. -Jan. 21 at Westmount Golf and Country Club

2 3

18 18

4 2

15 12

0 3 : 12

10 8 6 4 2

: 0

RESULTS Invitational,

982

691 437 428 173

150 98

BWINTON Crossover Round Robin 1IlO:OO at Ryerson 1030 CURLING West Sectional 8:30 at Westmount Golf & 8:30 Country Club East Sectional 8:30 at Kingston Curling Club8:30 BASKETBALL Laurentian at IRyerson Toronto at Carleton Lakehead at IBrock Laurier at Guelph Western at McWaster Windsor at Waterloo Lakehead at IBrock Laurentian at York Toronto at Qttawa Ryerson at Queen's Queen's at Carleton Ryerson at Toronto Brock at Guelph Waterloo at Western Windsor at llaurier

a.m. a.m. a.m. a.m.

a.m. a.m.

6:DO p.m. 6:DO p.m. 6:00 p.m. 12:Ml p.m. 12:OO p.m. 6:DD p.m. 6:00 p.m. 6:OO p.n. 6:30 p.m. 2:DO p.m. 6:oO p.m. 6:OD p.m. 6:OD p.m. 6:DD p.m. 6:UD p.m.

NORDIC SKIING Designated Race I at Duntroon (hosted by Cuelph) SQUASH Crossover Round Robin 111O:OO a.m. at Western 10:00 a.m.

Windsor Brock Brock Ryerson Western Ottawa Guelph Laurier Toronto

VOLLEYBALl at Western 6:00 p.m. at llakehead 7:00 p.m. at Lakehead 7 : 00 p, III. at Queen's 2:30 p.m. at Waterloo 6:00 p.m. at Carleton 7:00 p,m. at 13rock 8:00 p.m. at Windsor 8:OD p.m. at York 6:00 p,m.

TRACK & FIELD Can-Am Classic @pen) at Windsor

Ottawa Ryerson Cue1 h Browt: Waterloo Brock Ryerson Toronto

Ottawa McGill Brock Waterloo

at at at at at at at at at at at at at

UQTR RMC Laurentian Queen's Windsor RMC Queen's Laurentian Windsor Concordia UQTR Guelph Laurier

at Duntroen

2:00 p.m. 3:00 p.m.

8:00 2:oo 7:oo 7:30 7:30

2:oo 2:30 2:45

3:30 7:30

7:30 7:30 7:30

p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. P.M. p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m. p.m.

(Guelph)

Jan. 20 &Crossover Round Robin Jan. 21 at Ryerson ii;.

7:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m.

TRACKAND FIELD &Can-Am Classic (Open)

Jan. 19 Jan, 20 Jan. 21

Jan. 24 Euelph Laurier

3 2

6 6

SQUASH

-Jan.

Jan. 19

5 5 S 5

15 21

NORDIC SKIING Jan. 20 &Designated Race I

Jan. 20

HOCKEY at York at Western

94 3 27 121 4.0

Queen's 30 106 Ryerson 18 63 Lauren. 21 73 WESTDIVISION c K %!!sor 23 130 Guelph 26 132 Laurier 24 109 Western 17 49 Western 20 84 Western 18 78 Windsor 18 61 Waterloo 23 80 Western 12 50 Guelph 28 97

ML 0

12 16

January 131, 14)

:: 36 34

15-12: 9-15, 17-15) at at at at

MJ 5

TEAU SCORES: 1. Guelph 2. Western 3. McGill 4. Waterloo 5. RHC 6. Ryerson 7. Trent

Jan. 24

bock

(15-11, Jan. 16 York Jan. 17 Ottawa

HP 5

SWIMINC

Jan. 21 Jan. 23

15-2, 15-11)

Windsor

4 6 S 6

THIS WEEKIN 'ME DWIAA TP 8 6 6 6 2 2 2 2

VOLLEYBALLRESULTS Jan. 12 Guelph 3 Laurier (H-12, 13-15, 15-l;;el..;) M&aster 3

TP PPG

173 5.8 126 5.3

Sec. 1 17

3 3 2 I

(Cue1ph/Waterlao

QWIAA BADMINTONSTANDINGS EAST Toronto Queen's York Ottawa Ryerson WEST Waterloo Guelph Western McMaster Brock

7 9 7 7

BASKETBALLSTANDINGS W L PF PA 4 1 339 300 3 1 240 237 3 1 257 197 3 1 288 238 1 3 224 241 1 3 193 261 1 3 197 224 1 4 295 335

WEST Western Brock Lakehead HcMaster Cuelph Waterloo Windsor Laurier

Ottawa

62 60 60 38

East Toronto York Ottawa Queen's Carleton Ryerson

13 21.5

9 6

AVE

THE TOP TENS

VOLLEYBALLSTANDINGS EAST York Toronto Oueen's Ayerson Laurentian

EAST Cory Baile /Ltn Wilton Hal ! /York Jason Dressler/Tor Edd Meguerian/Tor Car r Swantee/Tor

Jason Dressler/Tor

BASKETBALLSTANDINGS EAST Toron to

TOP REBOUNDERS

:i 57

Waterloo Laurentian Laurier Windsor

BASKETBALLLEADING SCORERS

:':

Ottawa

AVC 2 20 2173 2.79 2.85 3.07

!! 23 22 44 22

HOCKEYSCORING LEADERS PLAYER GP c Pierre Cendron Zll 16 15 Hart Beaucage g; 15 17 Dave Trewblay 15 1s Todd Zavi tz Brock 16 10 Jean Roberge UQTR 15 9 Kiley Hill Laurentian 17 19 Darren Dougan Laurentian 17 12 Kevin MacKay Laurentian 13 11 Patrick Cenest UQTR 14 11 John Wynne ~~~~~;oo 16 8 Todd Marcel lus 17 14 Cre Pajor 17 12 ;:;:y; Kel 3y Nobes 8 Brad Baber Laurentian :: 10 Jarie Coon Toronto 16 8 Aaron Nay Western 14 16 Jeff Co11ie 16 12 Mike Chahers K::2 16 10 Ben Davis York 16 9 Mark Cardiff Waterloo 16 5 Simon Ferrand Ottawa 16 12 Sean McKegney Windsor 16 11 Peter Brearley Waterloo 16 8 Scott McKinley Toronto 16 8 Brandon Boyko Windsor 16 3 Perry Pappas Western 17 8 S. Bronsard RMC 18 11

ZTSP WEST FG 24 David Picton/Brock 17 15 Rich Wesolowski/Macl7 8 Titus Charmer/Mac 17 Craig Law/Lakehead 34 Peter Kratz/LaurierlO C. Wydrzynski/Win IS

BASKETBALLRESULTS Jan.

LEADING COAL-TENDERS GP Zern 13 73!ZO Cuelph 8 484:09 WR 9 472:37 Ottawa 16 926:15 UQTR 8 429:24

Jan. 25

VOLLEYBALL Windsor at Western Laurentianat To#ronto Laurentianat Queen's Ryerson at Queen's Guelph at Brock Laurier at Windsor Western at Waterloo Toronto at Yark

12:OO p,w.

1O:DO a,a.

6~00 p.m. 1O:OO a.m.

4:30 p.m. 6:00 p.~.

Winter Blahs? CR savs Nah! d

by Heidi Marr special to Imprint

T /

he chilly months are notorious for introducing students to the inevitable winter BLAHS. At one point or another, over the long snow-covered season, we all suffer the effects of fewer daylight hours and temperatures on the negative scale. You know the symptoms: feelings of chronic captivity, deploring depression, and miserable melancholy. Change all that with Campus Ret in ‘96! Over two thousand students registered for our instructional programs this term. Hopefully, you were one ofthem. However, if you missed registration, Campus Ret offers a variety of FREE activities to help alleviate the winter blabs, Check out these fun freebies: Swim at the PAC pool. This free sport is available daily, including weekends, at pre-scheduled times. See page 29 of your Pick it Up brochure for specific pool hours and currently known cancellations and closings. The pool offers a shallow end for lengths with three designated lanes, a deep tank for treading water and “pool running”, and a diving board and tower. Hit the pool today and catch a hot sauna afterwards as a reward. Pick up a game in the gyms. Both the PAC and the Columbia Icefield (ClF) gyms are available for pick up games of basketball, volleyball, and badminton. TheClF also includes indoor soccer, ball hockey or floor hockey options. As free gym time varies, check the Weekly Gym Schedules posted in both buildings for open times. You can also book the CIF gym for free. See details on page 28 of your Pick

DO?2

it Up brochure. Work out in the Weight Room located in the Lower Red South comer of the PAC. The weight area is designed to accommodate all levels of training, and has a separate stretching area for warm-ups and cool-downs. Equipment offered ineludes a complete circuit of Polaris

machinery, exercise bikes, rowing machines, and stair climbers. For an ad- . ditional charge of $5.00, students can join the Weight Training Club, which gives them access to dumbbells and free weights. Discover the Icefields across Columbia Street, The Columbia Icefield facility wascreated byyou- the students, and therefore, we should use it. Come on out to the arena for some free recreational skating or a game of pick up ice hockey. Weekly ice schedules are posted in the arena and at the PAC, so check out the times and make a date with the ice. Book a squash or racquetball court at the PAC. There are 7 American and 2 international squash courts and a non-regulation size racquetball court available for your use during PAC hours. As these courts are popular, bookings are required. Page 3 1 of the Pick it Up brochure gives details on booking the courts. If you are looking for a partner, why not sign up on the

‘t forget.

Partners Board, near the PAC equipment desk. You may meet new fiends, and great players too. Play a game of tennis at the Waterloo Tennis Club. UW shares court space at the club, located on Seagram Drive beside Waterloo Park. The “bubble” is up to provide you with sheltered court time, making winter games possible and enjoyable. _____-____ -_- _. __._ -__ -_ the club, at 885-3920, or at the PAC reception office, room 2039. See page 31 of your Pick it Up brochure for info on how to book a tennis court. These are a few of the activities Campus Ret offers students at no charge. For nominal fees, you can also join CR clubs all term. Just because the snow is falling doesn’t you can’t enjoy an active, healthy lifestyle. Include CR activities in your busy schedule today.

CR’s

New Weight Watcher -

o you spend $25.00 per week on BEER? Why not spend that on your body? Campus Ret is pleased to announce the addition of a new personal weight trainer. Brian Glassey is now available to conduct personal weight training sessions with interested students. He will assess your goals and abilities to create a weight training program tailored to your wants and needs. Brian is legally certified to perform fitness testing in Ontario, as he has his STFA (Standard Test of Fitness Appraisal) and his Personal Training Certificate. Let him put his experience and expertise to good use on your body! CR’s new service is designed to motivate students to exercise, so Brian encourages a postitive attitude and willingness to learn. “I don’t believe in the no-pain, nogain philosophy,” he says. “That’s negative reinforcement. If I kill someone in the weight room, they aren’t going to come back.” Instead, Brian wants to teach students how to use the equipment properly

One amazing

,.-to enter the Black Knight Squash Tourney by 4:OO pmt. Monday, January 22 at the PAC, room 2039. The tournament only costs $10.00 per person, and Black Knight provides tons of great prizes. Participants get to play their games using BK racquets and the lucky winner will go home with a new racquet of their choice. All participants will receive a t-shirt and energy bar. Don’t miss this great opportunity to play in the tourney on January 27-28 at the PAC!

ome refs go to the games, do their job, and go home again. Not Adam McDonald. He is an example to us all and Campus Ret would like to recognize Adam for his outstanding refereeing in the areas of both Ball atwl Ice Hockey. This remarkable oflicial is a certi-

fied OMHA Level 3 hockey referee. It amazes many how Adam got any academic work done the last couple of years, as he acted as offcial at numerous games. In just four terms, from January ‘94 to December ‘95, Adam was ref at no

so that they will get the best results. Brian believes there are three components to fitness: cardio, weights, and diet. He will try to counsel students on all three, but will focus on the weight training. “The rest is up to them. I will be here to supervise and motivate,” he explains. Sessions will include flexibility stretching before and after the workout, and students can use the free weights, exercise equipment, or a combination of both. A one hour personal weight training session with Brian will cost $25.00, 5 sessions go for $100.00, and $180.00 will get you ten sessions (plus G.S.T. on all prices). Registration is easy. Come to the PAC reception office, room 2039 to pay. You can reach Brian directly at 884-2694 or e-mail him at bglassey@ahs to set up a time (daily except Tuesdays). For more info, contact Sally Kemp at the Athletic Office for info. To get started on your New Year’s Resolutions with Campus Rec. Call Brian today!

zebra less than one hundred and sixtytwo hockey games. Way to go Adam. Adam McDonald didn’t just ref the games, he reffed them well, receiving one rating of B and six A ratings from his league ref-in-chiefs. These excellent ratings put Adam at the top of the CR payscale for officials. Bryan Gawtrey, last term’s Assistant Ref-in-Chief for Ice Hockey, didn’t hesitate to recommend Adam for an Outstanding Official Award. He stated, “Mr. McDonald has played a vital role in keeping the high quality of professionalism that Campus Ret strives for and has set a standard which should be emulated by other employees.” Adam’s achievements haven’t gone unnoticed1 by Ball Hockey Refin-Chief, Darryl Neate, who said Adam is, “very dependable and professional as a referee.. . he uses good judgment and experience as an official to perform well consistently.” Not only does this exceptional referee act as an official at CR hockey games, he participates as well. Last term, Adam was also the convener ofball hockey, and played on the A-league championship semi-finalists, the Elite Fleet. CR hopes to see Adam McDonald on the ice and courts in the future, both as a ref and as a player. Once a.gain, we would like to congratula!,> Adam on his fine efforts and recognize him as an outstanding Campus Ret official.

Auld Larig% Room Four Roam direckd by AlkN?n An&m, Akxandre K&well, Robert Rodriguez alrd Quen&~ Tmmtina playing at Fairview by Andrew Hendmson Imprint staff

t befits

the beginning

of the

new year tu we:tcome in a in crerlibly funny film about a hu-

tel belihap’s horrible New Year’s Eve, Aside fram its ntuaerau$ allstar cameo appearances, F4x.4~ Rooms showcase one af the most

underat& actors in the bti, Tim Roth. If yau hwmsponded to this statement

with

a “‘Who’s

tiat?”

pkase see this fiEm. Even if you haven?, 2”s wotih the drive to l%tkVi~W+ The film is set in a Hollywood hotel that has a history of catering to and greatly benefittkg from the presence &movie t&u--s. The hotel. has seenb,etteryears, however, and ) by Rob Potion I ,.-and

its name

is Rusty.

Rusty

with bHead Supergarage Fed Hall Saturday January

and

by James Russell ImprixAt staff

t. Catherine’s Supergarage opened up the night with their more-or-less standard grunge. The songs were good, maybe even pretty good, but they were still just another band, pleasant but ultimately lacking in a catch that might keep you coming back for more. They did, however, do an interesting Violent Femmes/ Alannis Morrisette medley of”Blister in the Sun” and “You Oughta Know.” After a tight, short and energetic set, they left the stage to make way for long-time Toronto indie favourites hHead. hHead, you may recall, won the $100,000 grand prize from CFNY a few years back, but somehow this failed to catapult them to mainstream success. Nonetheless, more than a few people in the crowd were there to see them over the relative newcomers Rusty (who have only been together for a year). Working with the drummer from treble charger until they find a permanent replacement for their recently departed drummer, hHead put on a solid show. According to Scott McCullough (guitar player for Rusty), this was hHead’s first show since September, and may be their last show for a while yet, as they audition a new drummer and maybe do a new album. Though some said that hHead have certainly been more energetic in the past, they played well and the young ‘uns up front vented some teen angst by moshing hard regardless of the tempo of the music. Rusty came on to finish the night. Ken Macneil’s gravelly vo-

cals blended well with Scott McCullough’s (the Keith Richards look-alike) distorted guitar and away they went. Despite a pleasant entreaty from Bent staff between h&ad and Rusty for everyone to keep their feet on the floor this time, the crowd surfing began and didn’t let up. The band worked its way through all of the material on the album, including especially catchy tunes such as “Punk” and “K.D. Lang” and threw in a fair numberofnewstufftoo(theydidn’t have much choice, they only have 10 songs on their only album). “Groovy Dead” sounded good, but the crowd went nuts when Macneil announced it was time for “Misogyny,” the latest single that Much Music is “playing the shit out of’ according to McCullough. The one deviation from Rusty’s hard-and-fast theme was “Wake Me,” their break-through single. That night, it became an epic, with .Macneil taking a brief respite while the rest of the band (almost) lulled the crowd of almost 800. Macneil interacted with the audience by tossing the upper half of his mike stand into the crowd at one point (you could almost hear the Bent staff shit their pants), and by responding to one young crowdsuder who hawked a big one his way as the surfer was tossed around on the sea of 15 year-old arms that was the mosh pit. “The days of spitting on me are past, Motherfucker,” said MacneiI. “You spit on me, I kick your ass.” Finishing off with “E3illy Boy,” Rusty briefly retired to the side of the stage before coming out to do a quick two-song encore, and then chatting with fans outside the dressing room. A solid performance, but they had better come up with something unique pretty soon or they run the risk of being just another pretty good grunge band.

this festive night. The befihop, Ted, played by Ruth, wonders into

his wife ga ENSon the town to celebmte the New Year, while their

each of the four scenarias and, by necessity, is implicated in them. The first segment, Anders’ “The Missing Ingredient,” deals with coven of witches trying to undo the curse on their goddess Diarq who was turned to stone some forty years ago. This plot is weak and, aside from Roth, largely

children engage Ted in a twisted ‘never cry wolf’ sequence, leading to perhaps the funniest tableaux in film for a long time. This Robert Rodrigeuz effort is the most hilarious of the four segments. The final story reunites Roth with Pu& F’iclion alumni Quentio Tarantino and Bruce Willis, Things seem to look up for the quirky bellhop ashe is welcomed with friendly dispositians and expensive champagne, After the intial hospitality,

unsupparted by its cast members, RockweW’The Wrong Man” fmds Ted delivering

tends to be as an actor. 1 don’t smell an Academy Award in his near fu-

mind games that baffle, enrage

lure, but: hey, Ym ROJojo Savard,

and horrify the quirky be&op. The third, and perhaps

With the exception or so minutes of “The

best story, “The Misbehavers,“’ QUS,cl@ren. trayed

the

finds Ted in charge af a Mexican gangster’s two bratty* but h&i-

c&y

one b&hop

TarantTau”smt agenda is revealed and Roth is engaged to participate

404, he fmds the room dark and quiet. Me is not alone however, as the lights go on to reveal a woman t3& t6 a chair and a man, apparently her jealous husbad, greeting Ted with a pistol. Ted and the strange coupIe begin a series of

by some strange coincidence, .ia able to staff

ice to a party.

Howwx, when he arrives at room

A Whale

The gangHer, pm

by Antonio

Banderas,

and

in an lrnsavoury drunken wager. As an aside here, I will say that

Tarantino WG not as brutal as he

of the thirty Missing ingxdient,” F&r Rooms is an outrageous comedy that entertains from the preface 1.0 the end credits and showcases the depth of Tim Roth’s comedic talent.

of a Time

The Mighty Fishermen with Dripping Season, Shortfall and The New Grand Volcano Friday January 12 by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

n brief: Four bands. Three were great. The other one was the headliner. The first band onstage was also the most aggressive-Cambridge’s Dripping Season, with sound verging on heavy metal. Dripping Season are kind of like Winnipeg’s noisecore band Kittens, using silence and punctuated sound in waves of ear-assaulting rock. Keyboards, spooky sound samples, and an almost violent stage presentation created an air ofmetallic fervor. ConfUsion ensued when the band found they had eight more minutes to play, but one of the best songs of the set followed and Dripping Season left the stage for Shortfall. Shortfall weren’t as loud, but that was alright. My eardrums were comfortably sore. Although they come from Toronto, Shortfall’s brand of unapologetic power pop sounds like something out of the Halifax scene, especially in the vocal area. That’s a compliment in times when everyone else is trying to be “alternative,” it’s great to see a band that doesn’t mind sticking to the pop aesthetic. Shortfall’s set included nine of ten songs from their 1995 CD, hooray for everything, and the new “Jimmie Bigbox.” The sound was excellent; Shortfall’s music sounds even better live than in studio. “Cool Cliche” sticks out as one of the hardestrocking songs of the night.

A large crowd of high school girls drifted close to the stage for London’s the New Grand. Last time they were here they opened for Eric’s Trip, and gave just as great a performance now as then. There’s some great use of instruments, arrangements and solos in the New Grand’s songs, and they have tremendous kinetic energy onstage. Of course, bassist Mike looked very much like a dork in a white imitation-Elvis jumpsuit, but that didn’t affect the music. Looking at the lineup, either Shortfall or The New Grand would have been better headliners for the show. The Mighty Fishermen were disappointing - perhaps only in comparison, having had three great bands play before them. There wasn’t anything really wrong with their music, other than being too average. The sound mix was off. Their stage presence was lacklustre; the lead singer tried to be entertaining by tossing off failed one-liners and swearing a lot. He did manage to get off the second-best line delivered onstage:

shortly after the first song, he said about the oplening bands, “They’re way better than us.” The best line delivered onstage by the Mighty Fishermen was by the guitarist, who said to the lead singer, “Shut the fuck up!” Halfway through the set someone from the band threw a hat onto the dance floor. It sat there for a few seconds before being picked up. Not an overly impressive gesture. During the last song the Fishermen tried to do al.1 those things that real headlining blands do at the end of the night - conduct a five-minute feedback session, hold instruments over their heads and in front of their bodies in phallic gestures, and actually move around a bit. Too late. On a positive side, the first three quarters of the evening absolutely rockeid. The Mighty Fishermen just weren’t good headliners (although to their eternal credit, they chose great openers! ). Shortfall, the New Grand, and Dripping Season are d,efinately bands to look for in the future - hopefully as headliners of their own.

IMPRINT,

ARTS

Friday, January 19,1996

Forrest Holland Mr. Holland’s Opus directed by Stephen Herek by Rebecca W-son special to Imprint

t is nothing short of amazing that this film was made, in Ho1 lywood no less. This two and a half hour masterpiece is of epic proportions. In the vein ofForrest Gump, Mr. Holland’s Opus magically transports the audience across three decades with music, news footage, love laughter and tears. The plot is simple and convincing. Mr. Holland (Dreyfus), is a struggling musician, who is forced by circumstance to take a teaching job in 1965. While attempting to write symphonies on the side, Holland discovers during his first year in teaching, that he has to do more than preach names and dates, he must influence his student’s Iives. Each era portrayed in the film is beautifulfy depicted by Mr. Holland’s relationship with a student. The transitions between periods are wonderfully captured by a montage of music and vital news

clips. Even for those of us who were not present in those times, the realism of the sequences hit home. Richard Dreyfus is magnificent with his poignant portrayal of Holland and hopefully Oscar bound. When the character triumphs, the audience is infected with the spirit, when Holland is struck down, the audience is likewise hit with the blow. Dreyfus carries his character from ages thirty to sixty with the grace and class any actor could ever wish to achieve. Glene Headly, as Mrs. Holland, keeps pace with Dreyfus, but her role is limited to a supporting capacity. After their son Cole, is diagnosed as deaf, Headly comes into her own as a struggling wife and mother who is shut out by her husband. Mr. Holland’s one pupil in 1980, Rowena, truly stole my heart and the screen during her scenes as the humble and extremely talented singer. New comer Jean Louisa Kelly was beautiful and vibrant as the student who’s unrequited love for Mr. Holland drives her to filfill her dream of becoming a singer

and discover her self confidence. I hope that we see a lot more of this talented young actress. Whenever there is a problem for Mr. Holland to face, he turns to music. The extended metaphor of music as life takes on a momentum of its own in this film. In the bittersweet finale of the movie, this sentiment is best expressed. The students are the music of Holland’s life and the notes of his symphony. Mr. Holland’s Opusis rated F and it worked perfectly without the profanity, sex and violence that many of us have come to expect at the cinema. This is a film to which I would happily take my grandmother or a date. The movie opened strongly, completed a hll cycle with lots of laughter, some driver’s ed. jokes and a few tears. When the curtain came down and the audience collected their Kleenex, they were all speechless and longing for more music. Every aspect of the production was strong, and I deeply congratulate director Stephen Herek on his artistry and wish we could all be part of Mr. Holland’s Opus.

Three issues latex..

Still Good After All This Time Hayden and Friends Bathurst Street Theatre, Torunto Saturday January 13 by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

ix hours. That’s how long the crowd of kids had been stand ing outside the Bathurst Street Theatre to see the man Toronto’s eye magazine calls “the most unlikely teen idol you can imagine. ” His debut CD, Everything I Long Fur, is crazy-glued to the top of the indie charts. He writes the type of soul-revealing songs most musicians only keep hidden, accompanies them wilh a flailing, all-out musical style alternating between whispered secrets and screams of self-torment, and sells 15,000 albums doing so, A high school girl gazes awestruck during every unrequited love song, murmuring, “I ‘II love you, Hayden.” But then again, evevBlowing one loves Hayden, and it seems like he’s the only one who doesn’t know it. Last Saturday’s Bathurst Street Theatre performance was only a hint of things to come. “This is by far the biggest show I’ve ever done,” Hayden reveals at the beginning of the show. “My parents, my grandparents, my brother and sister.. . everyone’s here. 1 feel like I’m at some sort oftwisted piano recital.” Everyone laughs. Everyone loves Hayden. Even during the biggest show of his life, he plays like he’s rehearsing in his room, occasionally pausing between songs to tell a road story, or talk about life with his parents. Half of the night’s material is unfamiliar, much of it co-written with his guests, but

Hayden doesn’t bother with song titles, let alone lengthy introductions. He is the antithesis of rock star, sitting alone onstage with his guitar and harmonica, smiling nervously at the crowd. After solo guitar-and-harmonica versions of Everything’s “We Don’t Mind” and “When This is Over.” Hayden, almost as an afterthought, says, “Oh, by the way, tonight different friends of mine

that

Sonic

Unwon

breath,

are going to come up and play things because it’s fun and it’s good and they’re friends.” With friends like Hayden’s, who needs a band? Mitch from fellow Sonic Unyon band Poledo (and Hayden’s former band Entangled) joins him for a new co-written song, and a spacey version of “You Were Loved” forwhichMitch tosses his guitar randomly, knocking over a mike stand. Someone backstage turns on the smoke machine. “You know what?” says Hayden. “Bad idea. (pause) Now my name is Iron Hayden!” Cellist Anne Boume (apologies if I misspelled her name) shares Hayden’s piano seat for “My Parent’s House,” and Hayden resumes his guitar for “Hardly.” The rnourn-

ful deep notes of the cello compliment Hayden’s style perfectly for two of the most potent songs of the night. All Hayden says is, “Wow. That was neat.” Lorraine Ursamarso rejoins her former partner and longtime fiend for a few of their old songs. Her microphone is too quiet, but what we can hear of her singing is beautiful. A sweetly pleading background on “Take” contrasts and melds with Hayden’s screaming, throat-stretching vocals. The most interesting, but also the least promising of the night’s ventures is Hayden’s re-appearance as electric guitarist for a fullpiece band. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with By Divine Right bassist and drummer Mark and Scott. The two new songs are catchy, and although he looks uncomfortable standing up, the guitar grooves stili have that Hayden feel. But does the world really need another Toronto rock band? Or at least, does it need one more than it needs an acoustic virtuoso like Hayden? By the time Hayden plays “Skates,” and his 6ncore “As Bad as They Seem,” he seems to be lagging. His playing is a bit offtempo and his voice sounds affected, like he’s forcing himself. Perhaps it’s the size of the audience -- Hayden is best enjoyed in small, intimate venues. God forbid there ever be a time when he’s forced to play the Molson Ampitheatre. Let him continue to sell out the Volcano, and not sell out his soul to major label money. Fortunately, his second encore of“Bunkbed” is classic Hayden, closing with yet another new song with chords crashing into the applause of a packed house.

Heads Turning however, was The Philosopher Kings. The band took the stage, without singer Gerald Eaton, and jammed out a funky little tune. With the crowd cheering loudly, for my part, a.t the guitar work of James McCollum, Eaton took the stage a.nd started “Can’t Get my Mind Around You” a Capella. Now, for me, what usually sicks out in He looks nothing like Marcus Aurelius. my mind after a concert is the strength of The Philosopher Kings the beginning and that of the finale. The strength of the former w/My Neighbour Ned The Bombshelter was astounding. The audience was Thursday January 11 hypnotized andl danced in a frenzy for most of the set, which included classic songs such as “Everyone’11 by Andrew Henderson Imprint staff Let You Down,” “Turn My Head Around” and “No Woman s the weirdo beside me Around.” shouted into my ear while After earlier playing “Lay My Body Down,” tlhe band reworked it jumping up and down in a musically induced but rhythmically into a up tempo, jazzy version and challenged stomp, “These guys are got the crowd jumping even higher. F*#@!n’ awesome. They got two In the middle, Eaton asked the guitars, man, but they don’t crowd to particlipate in the song. A overpower,eh?” call and response episode ensued, What my new-found, excited which left a big smile on my face. friend was attempting to praise, Aside from the strength of the was The Philosopher Kings unfamiliar numbers, the extended canny ability to showcase great injams of the band were also impresdividual talents, without disturbsive. Drummer Craig Hunter was ing the course of the band as a solid all night, and Jon Levine’s whole. This show did nothing to keyboard work was excellent. All dispel this theory, and those who of this was held together by the packed themselves into the Bomber impeccable rhythm section: guitarlast Thursday were treated to an ist Brian West and bassist Jason amazing performance. Levine. Opener My Neighbour Ned, a At the end of the show, the one-man acoustic act, warmed up weirdo was sitting peacefully in a the crowd with catchy tunes and an nearby chair. :He was not passed engaging sense of humour. Mike out, but rather was basking in the Busseri did well to attract the attenafterglow of a line effort from the tion of the preoccupied crowd with band. I asked him, rather foolishly, tunes like “Slide on Over” and “Get if he enjoyed the show. Grinning out of My House,” as well as nuear to ear, eyes sparkling like an innocent child’s, he muttered somemerous jokes about his childhood, his mother, and lizards. (If Ned’s thing uninteiligible, and gave me mom is reading this, the jokes the thumbs up sign. I agree heartily weren’t distasteful). with him, though it is difficult to illustrate this emotion in print. What the crowd came to see

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ARTS

IMPRINT, Friday, January 19,1996

The Meaning of Life in 247 Pages The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield H.B. Fenn & Company 247 pgs., $29.95 by Peter

Lenardon

Imprint staff

s with all books that try to impart an elaborate phi .losophy of life, there is a danger that the narrative can become mechanical or even redundant. Though the story isn’t as gripping as say, the Bible, Redfield makes a solid effort at providing a vehicle for his ideas which is effective even though it is really secondary in importance to the message he attempts to convey. Set in modern-day Peru, The Celestine Prophecy follows the experiences of the narrator as he pursues the nine insights which are contained in an ancient Manuscript. Its contents even provide a new interpretation of the life of Jesus

Christ and the disappearance of Mayan civilization. As a work of fiction, The C4estine Prophecy contains some of the tried and true elements of an adventure epic. The hero, who is the narrator and who is never named (it could be any of us!), sets out alone to discover more about the Manuscript (and of course, himself). He meets many people along the way who help him and give him geographic and spiritual directions. The latter come in the form of the Manuscript’s insights. Each he receives one by one, usually from a different person. The plot is spiced up a little by gunplay as soon as the narrator reaches Peru. He must contend with the Peruvian army and hostile church officials who seek to suppress the Manuscript’s information, as we11 as mercenaries who just want to be the first to uncover the Ninth Insight. The action and the idea of the Manuscript, which

is to change the way people relate to each other and the Earth make it a pretty palatable read. But, it’s the message that is the real point of the book. The Insights concern everything from how a person’s parents dictate the sort adult they will be, to how humanity’s current preoccupation with power struggles will give way to a higher consciousness of our own evolution. We will eventually follow our own intuition about what the truth of our lives is, and follow it. Our pursuit of scientific discovery and material possessions will no longer be ends themselves. We will voluntarily decrease the population, outgrow the need for money, and connect with nature and the energy of the universe. My cynical side would say that the themes addressed by the Celestine Prophecy are just a clever way of cashing in on the fact that the baby boomers are starting to turn 50. They are realizing that they are going to die, no matter how cool their BMW is, and that their children hate them for being at work for 80 hours a week. The popular press is now reflecting a drive towards quality of life rather than quantity of consumption; and interest in altemative religions and spiritualism is on the rise. The cover babble calls it a “spiritual renaissance.” Redfield’s book seems perfectly timed also because it comes as we near the end of the millennia, a resonant time in more than one world religion. It seems to single out the time that we live as being a special turning point in human social evolution, rather than just an-

other point in a very gradual process. But as a reflection of our time, it is not without its truths. 1 can personally identify with the feeling that a getting a job, buying stuff and dying is by itself an unfulfilling plan for a life. There must be something more. “Why am I here?” is, after all, the eternal question of our species. it is also, I think, true that all of our technological advancements must eventually give us freedom from work, rather than just enabling us to do more, better, faster. I also find it a sensible concept to say that cutting down old growth forests and otherwise destroying our natural environment as a sacrifice for ever increasing human populations and economic production is not infinitely sustainable. So serious is Redfield about his ideas that he offers subscrip-

tions to “The Celestine Journal” and an audio tape (for $29.95) in which you c,an discover your life mission through an interpretation of your sun a.nd moon sign. As I read Prophecy, I gave myself over tlo the attractiveness of its sentiments and the optimism it expressed. It is definitely a feelgood book with some useful ideas and prescriptions for an energetic and fulfilling life. But, as always, BEWARE. 1rhere are no answers, if that’s what you are looking for, I think about Henly Rollins singing, “I’ll tell you things you already know, and you’ll say ‘I really identify with you, so much. “’ It is as much Tony Robbins as it is a tao, and there is nothing in here that probably hasn’t occurred to you already. But, take the Celestine Prophecy for what lit is: entertaining and thought provoking escapism.-

Warn?Bla lkets on a Snowy J Day Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson Vintage 460 pages, $16.95 soft by Heather

Calder

Imprint staff

handling of the trial, interspersing evidence with various characters’ musings on the past. Guterson illustrates the manner in which time works, and does not work, to heal all wounds, using this non-linear form of time and narrative. There ark UIV

his book is like a soft whisper in your ear, Iike warm blankets on a snowy day, like a cup of tea. It is pure pleasure to read, as well as being an intriguing and compelling mystery. 1 had never heard of David Guterson before I saw this book, and I picked it up on the strength of its title alone. Guterson won the PEN/Faulkner Award for this work, writingabout an island called San Pi&o, ten years a&- he end of

hot courtroom. Kabuo Miyamoto, a Japanese-American man on a small island known for its generations of fishermen, has been charged with the murder of a white man on his fishing boat. The circumstantial evidence is overwhelming, and the brilliant, if not physically perfect, defense lawyer has his work cut out for him. The trial is further complicated b; :J severe storm that snows many people in and blankets the town in quiet. Guterson is masterful in his

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old rivalries,

distrust is palpable on both sides. The undercurrent that results is part of Guterson’s power as a writer. He uses Ishmael, the sole writer and editor of the island’s newspaper, to relay the events of the trial. lshmael has long been in love with Hatsue Imada, a young Japanese woman who grew up and married Kabuo. Guterson’s choices of perspective do not allow us to know “the truth,” since each character is entangled in the small town web with which many of us are familiar. Guterson keeps the suspense alive, even through long trips into the past. ‘You wil1 be tempted to look forward to the end of the novel (but don’t, you will just ruin the great ending). Guterson has also done his research, and manages to make his characters sound knowledgeable without putting the reader through pages of technical proof. He also resists the “thanks to my special knowledge about X” approach that Conan Doyle occasionally employed, as a kind of &us ex muchina. Although the mystery is at the heart of this novel, the body consists of much, much more. You can feel the heartbreak, the disappointment, the hope and dreams of the characters, so that Guterson has made us more than observers.%uw Falling on Cc&rs is exactly how it sounds - quiet, heavy and beautiful.

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of fishing boats to contend with and each is set against the residue ofracial tension. - A _The. .Japanese * I were a removed from the island, and l-ram their occupations as strawberry farmers, when the United States entered the War, and the unspoken

~ IMPRINT,

~~~ ~

ARTS

Friday, January 19, 1996

Their Spoking

Skills ore Rusty

RUSty

the Imprint

dnterview

They’re like a bunch of drunk Newfies. What have you been listeaing to recently? S: I haven’t been listening to too many records lately. A lot of CBC radio. Peter Gzowski. J: The new Elvis 70’s box set. How do you write your lyrits? J: With a pe:n. Turn left at Greenland. S: I go to slelep and a little dolphin comes to me. Whatareyour bestand worst gigging experiences? S: The worst was with a band called “The Tea Party.” It just didn’t work out? S: I don’t think it turns out with anyone and them. They’re just not nice human beings. J: They’re assholes! What about the best experiences? S: The show after the Tea Party

by James Russell Imprint staff

oronto-based Rusty has recently finished an eight month tour that took them across the continent, and saw them gig with bands such as The Tea Party, Collective Soul, and Silverchair. Still uncertain of their future despite their considerable success, and drained by the efforts of doing videos, touring constantly, and trying to write new material, Scott McCullough and Jim Moore took a few minutes to talk to Imprint before the show. What is it like being rock stars all of a sudden? Scott: We’re not really rock stars. Jim: I wouldn’t say we’renot popular, (we’re) more like rock satellites. We’re drawing a few hundred people and stuff like that. We spent the last year working hard and now more people are turning up, but I wouldn’t really call it rock stardom. Break even-dom I think I’d call it. What has made the difference? More airplay, the videos? J: Everything all together. S: We toured for 8 straight months in the States and Canada, we got more and more radio play, or more and less airplay depending on the single. Video airplay lately has totally helped; they’re playing the shit out of it. It’s all kind of gone together and we’ve been playing the whole time. . Where would you place yourselves in the musical spectrum? S: Firmly in the rock and roll camp I guess. J: The genre known as rock and roll, began 1956. S: Yeah, fhat one. Now that you’ve toured around so much, what do you think of the Toronto scene?

J: It’s fantastic. It’s totally healthy. It’s healthier than I’ve ever seen it, healthier than most cities. It’s the best. S: Toronto audiences are another matter. The music scene is fertile. J: You can go out every night and see a band, as opposed to, like, Montreal, you fucking get one a month. What are you influences? What did you listen to when you were young? S: I was like a Kiss/Aerosmither and then a early punk, early New York punk and then everything since. Jazz to hiphop. J: 1 like the Stones. The Stones and Leonard Skynyrd. And then when the punk scene happened, I really enjoyed that. That was quite revitalizing. What sort of message are you trying to communicate with a song like “misogyny?” Where did that come from? S: I guess it just came from observance. Ken’s observance of whatever. I guess the message is simply misogyny is bad. J: Beer good, misogyny bad. S: It’s just a littIe dramatic sketch. How does the video relate to that? S: It doesn’t. It has nothing to do with it whatsoever.

our lovely UW-campus, aid they’re bringing the infamous Couple Sear& Audition Booth along with them, I’m sure you’ve seen the ads on TV or the signs on campus. Neilson-

Is that the point? S: There was no point. J: You know that clip Phil Collins did for “Against all Odds”? Remember he sang and then they showed scenes from the movie? It is the exact same thing. That’s exactly what it is; Scenes from a movie. What movie? S: It’s a gay porn movie. It looks exactly the same. The same people worked on the video and the movie. Usually when you do a film clip from a movie, it is a different person who does your performance. It is the same crew, the same director. He just took a day off shooting in L.A. and shot the live stuff and interspersed it with pieces from the film. J: It looks like all the scenes were filmed for the video, because it is the same people so it looks exactly the same. Same light quality, film stock quality. You’re in heavy rotation on Much Music, how about MTV? S: We had some play there, we had a lot of play early. They played “Wake Me” unsolicited when we sent it to them way in the beginning. They played it on Alternative Nation a bunch of times but they never added it to any sort of rotation. As far as our last single goes, I don’t think they did anything with it. They were all over us early, but they haven’t really done much since. Where do you see yourselves in 5 years? S: The ditch. I don’t know. What would be your dream to accomplish in Rock and Roll? S: Make a living. You want to do this for a long time? J: Might as well. Its easier than cooking. Or being a locksmith. Or a carpenter. It is easier than being a locksmith, a carpenter, or cooking. The band isn’t really featured much in the videos. Why is that? S: It is just the way it turned out. J: We’re in the second one a lot {“Groovy Dead”). There was some really good acting. It was a good petiormance. It was hilarious. This is going really fast. S: Are we being monosyllabic enough? If you guys become millionaires, do you think it will change your music? S: No, it’ll just be four guys in a room trying to make up songs. J: We wouldn’t go like Guns n’ Roses.. strings and flutes. It’s not going to happen. S: I imagine that we would become slightly more assholish, as time went on.

Rusty

pose in their

natural

environment.

Because money would let you? S: Just because we’re naturally sort ofprickish. No; I think our personalities are pretty much set at this point. You never know. Maybe we’11 0-D. or something. Are the American fans any different? S: Yeah, but they are different amongst themselves too. J: They’re shorter. They’re definitely shorter. S: They’re a puny race of human beings.

Anybbdly ever fall off stage or get electrocuted? S: I used to get electrocuted all the time but that’s fallen off. I got a ground cord. Cured that one. J: I used to jump off the stage but we don’t do that any more. We’re calm now. If you guys had to change careers all of a sudden, what would you do? S: I’d be a haberdasher. J: I would like to become a locksmith. Or a train conductor.

The Mick Shall Inherit the Earth by Alexander

Imprint stafz

Havrlant

This album of semi-acoustic takes on their classic material is the Rolling Stones at the core of their music. The highlight by far is the one’s ability to recognize the lyrics ofthe tunesdistinctly through Mick Jagger’s clear enunciation. Sfr@rd is the band’s sixth live album and is drawn from European and Asian club shows and some tour rehearsals. The album is the Stones at their roots, with blues, country and Chuck Berry rock featuring fourteen songs, mostly from band’s 60s and 70s heyday. This treat is unfortunately blemished on the album by the inclusion of a cover of Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” which is quite simply butchered by the band. Though Mick thanks Bob at the end of the tune, perhaps a sorry was more in order. Though Mick seems to have all things down pat vocally, the backing vocals on Dylan’s tune are just awtil though the playing of the band members is never in doubt. The honky-tonk piano stylings of tour regular Chuck Leavell, who gives extra texture to tracks like “Let It Bleed” is complemented by Keith Richards’ showcase on the sole 80s track, “Slippin’ Away.” The album’s strength resides in the lack of recent material. The ability to perform older material in

by Pat Merlihan

Imprint staff Although Pearl Jam was one of the groundbreaking bands to commercialize and sell the Seattle thang, they’re about as well known for killing their popularity by dragging out the Ticketmaster dispute by basically boycotting their own careers. Duh, like, stupid. In the mean time, Neil Young takes these virtuous freedom fighters under his wing to teach them a thing or two through creating Mirrorball, which ends up being a Who successfui collaboration. would have thought? So now a satisfied, and genuinely appreciative Neil Young is returning the favour to perhaps rejuvenate Pearl Jam’s,. .ahem. ..wounded egos. Losing the Ticketmaster fiasco, then receiving the crushing blow by having to cancel their world tour only because they can’t do it without Ticketmaster venues, has got to hurt, considering they gave up their careers for a good year while this was going on. Regardless, it looks like it’s finally been put behind

an acoustic and intimate sounding recording is what makes this album different from typical Stones fare. Mick’s solid vocals art: a welcome change from his usual fiercely hoarse shouts and screams, and one is able to make out the words of the songs without having to look at the liner notes which include words to all the songs. This does not draw away from any emotional presence of the songs and coufd perhaps be a new light for this old band. One disappointment comes with the new fangled multimedia technology taken from the Voodoo Lounge CD-ROM where computer videos of live performances for “Like a Rolling Stone,” are included. This disc just acts as an ad with most of the material being quite useless.

them, and they’re focussing on making some good music. So here we have M&inbalZ. A two song single that, my guess, came from sessions of making A4z’rrorbalZ. “I Got Id” and “Long Road” make up the eleven minutes, and both songs are pretty exceptional for Pear1 Jam. “I Got Id” doesn’t hammer you with too much Eddie Vedder angst, but the real gem is Neil Young’s trademark guitar soloing that virtually saves this song from being okay, making it pretty darn okay. The other half ofMerkinbaZ2 is a nicely orchestrated piece entitled “Long Road” which I believe isn’t a rehash ofeverything they’ve been doing all along. It’s on the mellow side, and Eddie does do his best to just sing the song, rather than contorting his face to get the best angst expressions. I hope this is a new direction Pearl Jam will pursue, because for once the musicianship can be valued more so than how angst-ridden Eddie is. I suppose that iUerkinbaZ2, although only two songs, has proven that the Neil Young/Pearl Jam collaboration was mutally beneficial. Although Neil Young has mote than proven his worth, the true test is to see if Pearl Jam will continue to use what they have learned.

The album opens quite strongly with a rendition of “Stteet Fighting Man” and continues throughout to have an upbeat jangly lyrical quality. The majority of the material dates back to their 60s and 70s heyday which is a welcoming change after the previous new album release Voodoo Lounge. Other staples like “ Wi Id Horses,” and “Angie” are alongside popular back-catalogue choices like “Let It Bleed,” “Dead Flowers,” and “Sweet Virginia.” The album, while not featuring anything really new and onginal, is quite listenable due to Mick’s rejuvenated vocals except for the poorcover of Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” which is the most forgettable aspect of this latest album.

by Andrew

Henderson

Imprint staff This offering from Kingston’s Weeping Tile is self-billed as “selfproduced and drug induced.” This plays no determining factor in my like or dislike of the recording, but it is a catchy opener, eh? The major difference between this CD and their previous release, eepee, is the energy. Their first release was dominated by acoustic, folksy sounds, while cold snap has a heavier sound. The prominence of Sarah Harmer’s lyrics is not diminished, but heightened by this new found verve. The best example of the transformation is “westray,” a song that appears on both CDs. eepee’s version consists of Harmer’s voice and one acoustic guitar. The new version incorporates the entire band, without losing the intimacy of this balladic tune.

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Hood-Morris

Imprint staff

Maybe it’s for all the disaffected, lonely people striding around the world. Maybe it’s j ust as Neil Young said, “Only love can break your heart.” Nothing but a cathartic experience, full of sadness and soul, but ultimately offering the solace of a like experience. Mojave3,anewprojectforexSlowdive singer Rachel Goswell, and writer-guitarist Neil Halstead smacks of something less commercial than the suicidal last Slowdive album Pygmalion, and yet lies so far in the opposite direction as to make the casual listener wonder if some sort of personality switch had not been made in the main writer, Neil Halstead. At the same time, it feels like the album the pair desperately needed to make. Some history; “I stand by my lover as she stands by me; I’m chained to my lover as she’s chained to me.” Neil Halstead and Rachel Goswell spent four years creating the band Slowdive, while at the same time trying to cultivate their Harmer, formerly of The Saddletramps, maintains this lyrical intimacy throughout the entire album. Other impressive tracks include “poked,” which features some eerie cello playing, brilliant lyrics, and excellent crescendoidecrescendo techniques. The title track, “cold snap,” seems to be a kind of

response to “poked,” answering the its final line, “leave the light on as you go,” with “someone always leaves that light on.” Coincidence? Maybe. Regard-

own love. However, during a North American tour in 1994, Halstead and Goswell broke up, an event which would herald the demise of a lesser band, but kept Slowdive going with an elasticity which bounced them from the ethereal pop of Souvlaki to the Eno driven Pygmalion. Ask Me lTbm~~nw comes out of left field, and Mojave 3 is not as smooth a ride as its Slowdive predecessors. It is painfully obvious to the slightly more attentive listener that Halstead and Goswell fell out of love with a lot of pain, if one could even say that they fell out of love at all. “There’s a full moon in the sky/It makes me glad that there’s something pure/And something that I had/Something good is all I need to feel alive/A bottle ofwine is all I have to hold.” And: “Jennifer says that you’ve changed/She says that you’re talking so strange/She laughed when I told her I’d messed you around/ Tried to be kind when I cried.” Sometimes it seems so much easier to let lyrics stand by themselves, and in an album like Ask Me Tomorruw, thLe lyrics are so much more important than the music. The tunes and melodies that Goswell and :Halstead create often conjure a Cowboy Junkies sense of melancholia, using the sparse instrumentation of acoustic guitars, piano and a brushed snare. A far cry from the lush foliage of the three Slowdive albums. It can be hard to break away from something you’ve spent four years of your life devoting yourself to. However, when the soul is satisfied, then life can truly go on. less of intent, the thrashing guitar chords from Harrner and Luther Wright, and powerful vocals make this song haplpen. The first single tirn cold snap, “u.f.0. rosie” is solid, but not as powerful as “cold snap” or “poked.” All of the tracks on cold snap are tight and energetic. This quality is amazing., considering the band alternates drummers almost every other song. Apparently they dropped Camille Giroux (or he quit), and replaced him with the tandem of Paul Gurnsey (who gets the billing as drummer) and John Richardson (who plays on 5 of the 14 tracks). This does not effect th,e sound quality however and, if not for the liner notes, you wouldn’t be able to tell who was drumming when. cold snap is an excellent reflection of a relatively, but undeservedly, unheralded band. The new release better the - -illustrates . power of therr music. Weeping Tile have found success with their musical recipe: “one part mud room rock, one part grainy pop, brewed from a folkie broth, and steeped in electric guitars.”

IMPRINT,

Friday,

January

19,1996

ARTS

wrong

by Jeff Imprint

Peeters staff

John Larkin claims to be from a world called Scatland. Upon further review one thing is certain: Scatman John is off in his own little world somewhere, the location of which I do not know. This album is little more than a chance to express some opinions and make a quick and easy buck. I really wanted to give this guy a chance. He is a man who stutters and has overcome this adversity to release an album. OK, he is an inspiration to all people who stutter or have other challenges to confront. However, he serves more as an inspiration to the talently-challenged people of this world. Sure, I get a message from this album; with very little talent and some good beats, you can make a dance album and come into some decent cash. Scatman John could very well represent everything that is

by Justin Imprint

Mathews staff

Have you ever wondered what the Ramones would sound like with someone other than Joey Ramone singing‘? That’s exactly what this band sounds like. Take the Ramones music, change a few words, get a different singer and you’ve got The

by Dave Imprint

Fisher staff

If you can imagine Homer Simpson prancing around in a world of chocolate, you might have a bit of an idea what it’s been like for Robert Fripp fans these past two years. Recording solo and with his assorted projects, he’s released an unbelievable ten albums and shows no signs of slowing up. The three featured here are all live recordings and fairly representative of the man’s incredible diversity. King Crimson’s B ‘BoOM(0~ jicial Bootleg - Live in Argentina 1994) is a document of the legendary comeback performance of King Crimson. This was their first performance in a decade and their first featuring the current DoubleTrio format. The album had already been heavily bootlegged, so Fripp, anotorious bootleg-despiser, released the record to recoup the

with dance music today. If you listen to dance music you are probably familiar with his big hit “Scatman”, a tolerable song that has found its way to dance floors across the world. Once you get past this track and his other single “Scatman’s World”, an already marginal album just deteriorates into a mix of-feel-good dance and pbilosophizing that almost insults your intelligence. If he isn’t giving his two cents about the world situation he starts doing that annoying ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop routine which wears thin extremely quickly. It is at this point that ant: might get angry when they realize that they’ve just been taken for twentybucks for this monstrosity. This album amounts to nothing more than a novelty act, and a very poor one at that. If you absolutely must have his hit dance songs, save yourself some money and buy the singles. Don’t waste your hardearned money on this blatant show of disrespect for music fans everywhere. The Scatman says that there is a little piece of Scatland in everybody. In that case, we’d all better start lining up for lobotomies now.

This album is one of those cases of having one great song, followed by a disappointing album. For Eric Matthews it’s the opening track “Fanfare” that caught my attention, with its sound akin to a high class Boo Radleys. Too bad nothing else lives up to this potential. Despite being on the label of the guitar squawl, It’s Heavy In Here sounds very middle of the road, and therefore boring. Eric’s apparently a classically trained trumpet player, and on paper the idea of introducing brass instruments into comtemporary guitar music is a good one. However, said trumpets have to have some half decent tunes to carry them, and it just isn’t happening here. And besides, all that self-important hype on the cover would embarrass Oasis. Get real, Eric!

Robots. This really is the best way The Robots can be described. All the songs are like this. They start with that catchy three or four guitar chord progression. Then you bring in the rest of the band and the vocals. The vocals are typically easy to sing along with afier listening to it a couple of times. Then, in under two minutes, the song is over. This album is great. It starts off, in true old fashioned punk style, with a song about how “. . .we are victims of society. Well, tick society!” in the aptly titled “Victims.” As the album continues, we

are treated to a song (Weavy Metal Girl”) reminiscent of fifties-style rock ‘n’ roll. Sounds like something the Ramones would do, doesn’t it? That’s probably because the guitar riffs seem to be taken directly from an old Ramones song. It’s hard to say which Ramones song since they have a tendency to reuse their music. It’s definitely to their benefit that the Robots sound like the Ramones. The album is just as catchy and fun to listen to as the Ramones. It works. It’s far from original, but it works.

losses he saw accumulating. Ifthe project seems like a quick cash-grab though, you’d be mistaken. The performance is superb, tight and passionate, giving absolutely no inclination of a band that hadn’t played in years. Moreover, the sound quality is exquisite, so far removed from a “bootleg” that it’s actually the best sounding live recording I have ever heard. Although my favourite Crimson period is the early 80’s quartet (all still part of the new 6 man version), the songs from that period performed here actually suffer a bit and sound a little dated. With the exception of “Matte Kudasai,” all are best remembered in their original form. On the other hand, older material like “Red” and “Lark’s Tongues in Aspic” are brilliant and much of the new material is equally as strong, especially the long instrumental passages of “VROOM” and “THRAK.” Their version of “One Time” (a highlight from the last album) is also remarkably good. Robert Fripp & the League of Crafty Guitarists In tergaiactic Boogie Express is another immaculate sounding live performance that was actually recorded back in 199 1 and released just this past year. It is strictly Fripp with his students playing acoustic guitars in their trademark Fripp-exercise tuning. For this it is a good document, especially for the Fripp die-hard. But as technical, cerebral and enthusiastic as the playing is, it lacks the passion that I usually find in Fripp’s electric playing. This is,

of course, a personal preferrence, but the recording isn’t one of my favourites. As an interesting sidenote, extensive liner notes detail Fripp’s finances and legal entanglements. Weird. By far my favourite of the three releases reviewed here is Fripp’s A Blessing of Tears, one of the most gorgeous and moving albums I have ever heard. It’s simply Fripp playing solo and utilizing his Frippertronics, but totally unlike his experiments in this form in the late 70’s to mid 80’s. Back then, Fripp would use tape loops to create layer upon layer of guitar to create an incredible texture of sound. As fascinating as those experiments were, they don’t come close to approaching the depth that’s evident here, Now Fripp’s guitar is solemn and symphonic, there is no menace and no games. The eight songs listed (clocking in at an hour) all sound like slight variations on thesanae song, making it akin to an hour-long song, but it doesn’t seem to go on long enough. Many has been the time that I’ve listened to this in endless repeat, it’s that sweet. The album is subtitled 1995 Soundscapes - Volume 2; there are actually two other accompanying pieces from this year and another from 1994. If they are anything like this voIume, I can’t wait to hear them. The liner notes here feature Fripp’s eulogy to his late mother. For a man that so few can ever get close to, it’s an incredibly personal and affecting piece of writing.

- 29

by Nigel Clarke spedal to Imprint

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