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IMPRINT The UW Student Newspaper Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 5 19-888-4048

Friday March 29, 1996 Volume 18, Number 33 ISSN 07067380

Scarier than Revenue Canada,..

ASU by Kieran Green Imprint stafz

Cover

photo by Dave Fisher

Editorial

Board Dave Fisher

Editor in Chief Assistant Editor New\ Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant

Sandy Alwal Peter Lenardon Kieran Green Greg Krafchick Greg Picken Ryan Pyette Jeff‘ Petters Christine Cheng

Sprrrts Assistant Features Editor Science Fxlitor Photo Editor

wcmt

Rob Potton

Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor Proofreaders

Joe Palmer Hank Liao David Bauer Katy MacKinnon

Staff Business Manager Adve~islng/Production Advertising Assistant Distribution

Board

Marea Willis

Laurie Tigert-Dumas Pat Merlihan Andrew Henciurson Pat Merlihan

of Directors

President

Andrew Henderson

Vice-President Secretary/Treasurer Directors at L,arge

Jeff Robertson Alexander Havt-lant Adam Fvans 3 .ltimes Russell

Contribution

List

Lynn Arnlstr~~ng,Candrtce Baran, Maryanna Basic, Rudy Broers, Eddie Butt, Heather Calder, Keni Ghan, Jesus Christ, Rciner Deckname. Melissa Dietrich,

David Drewe, Chris Edginton. Darren Emerson. AdaIn Evans, Jason Fowler, Alexander Havrlant, Ken Fleine, Mark Heinmiller, Andrew Henderson, Marc ltuniaga, Simon Lau, Lenard, Dave Lynch, Maryann Mallr~y, Heidi Mat-r, Justin Mathews, Debbra McClintock,TriciaMumby, Dave Neal, Avonwy Peters, Todd Pettigrew, Edward Richards, Michelle Robinson,James Russell, Mona Tokarek, Jack the Tripper, Jane Varley, Tiffany Dawn Waddleton, Derek Weiler, Patrick Wilkins, Wendy Wood. Charmion Zoll, The Parking Lot is Full, WPIRG Imprint istheofficialstudentnewspaper of the University of-Waterloo. It IS an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Puhlicatil,ns, Waterloo, a corporation without sharecapital.Imprint isamemberoftheQntio Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). ImprintispublishedeveryFridayduringf’alIand winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term.Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertisingknprint lSSN 0706 7380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint. Student Life Ccntre, Room 1 116, University of

Patti

Waterloo,

Ontario,

N2L

3G 1. Our e-mail

address: editor@imprint.-uwaterloo.ca. Our fax number is 884-7800. An on-line version of Imprint is available on the WWW at http://

imprint.Lwaterloo.ca/

he Arts Student Union (ASU) has ended its term on a quiet note. The ASU held its final Council meeting on Tuesday, March 26. The meeting passed quickly and quietly, without the controversy and arguments that had marked the previous two meetings. Although the Council meetings are over for the term, the ASU is not out of the woods yet. Fed VP Finance Mike Suska is initiating audits of the ASU. “There has been enough concern expressed about the ASU to warrant an audit. An audit will point out ahe problems or will show that there are none,” said Suska. Suska is looking for a neutral person outside the Federation of Students, probably someone from the Accounting Department, to handle a financial audit. As well, Suska himself will be conducting a proceedural audit to examine the ASU Constitution and whether it is being followed. The ASU executive have provided to the Feds a list of problems that they have perceived. Suska also hopes to solicit comments and suggestions from the other groups involved. The actual audit will involve only Suska and the ASU executive. The audit is being initiated immediately, and Suska hopes to have it completed by the end of the term.

Ethics by Patti Imprint

Lenard staff

onf’licts of an ethical nature have arisen in the case of Dr. Ewa Lipczynska, a chemistry professor who is suing the University of Waterloo. Issues that have come into the light as a result of this proceeding include: the legitimate terms for termination, intellectual property, and university professors making personal profits because of their research. Dr. Lipczynska is suing the university in lawsuits totalling over three million dollars. She came to work at University of Waterloo on a two-year contract and claims that she was promised a three-year ex-

tensian

if funds

permitted.

Yet, despite available funding, her position was not extended, and Dr. Lipczynska claims that this is because of personal rather than professional reasons. It is this allegation that is currently being debated. She claims that she was not rehired because she refused to work for a professor

facing Mike Lippert said that the ASU executive are not worried about the audit. “We have been told that we will receive 100 per cent cooperation from the ASU,” said S uska. At the March 26 meeting, the Political Science Student’s Association (PSSA) motion,

Mike

Suska

prepares

audlit

arts undergrad students pay a $7 fee to the ASU. From that money, societies and clubs currently receive $2.50 per undergrad student enrolled in their department, with a minimum allotment of $125. The PSSA wanted to increase the allotment to $3.50 per student.

to audit.

which had caused a great deal of fuss in the past meetings, was defeated without any discussion or debate. The PSSA motion was first tabled at the ASU Council meeting held March 5. The motion called for an amendment to the ASU constitution which would increase the monetary allotment that departmental societies and clubs receive from the ASU. All

The ASU executive strongly opposed the motion, saying that it would ultimately hurt smaller societies. The motion was put down almost unanimously at the March 26 meeting. Only the PSSA voted in favour of their amendment. There was no discussion over the motion before the vote was held. The PSSA motion did succeed, at the previous meetings, in

enter whose privately owned company would gain financially as a result of her research. Further, this research would subsequently become property of the company. The company under dis-cussion is called EnviroMetal Technologies Inc. and is in part owned by Dr. Robert Gillham,

creating serious discussion about and pointing out problems in the current state of ASU finances. According to the PSSA, that was part of their goal in proposing the amendment. They believe that they did achieve their goal in this respect. “We had hoped [the motion] would pass,” said PSSA President Joanna Werden after the meeting. “Howevler, we felt that it was more important to bring these issues to light.” More debate was generated by the presentation of the expendituresfrom the 1996ASUSpring Formal. The detailed accounting was demanded by Councillors at the last Council meeting, held March 12. At that meeting ASU Treasurer Mike Lippert had presented the 1996 Winter Term budget. The budget included $2000 spent on the formal. Councillors wanted a complete breakdown of what the money had been spent on and how much of the costs were recouped in ticket sales. Lippert presented the requested brealkdown at the most recent meeting. Councillors questioned individual expenditures, such as the $300 spent to buy gifts for all graduating arts students. In the end, the Formal cost the ASU $2616.48. Of that, $1059 was recovered in ticket sales. One Councillor suggested Continued

to page 7

lawsuit

hand, paints her as difficult to work with, saying “had she shown some inclination toward collegiality, then considering what area she was working in, she might have been reappointed.” Leonard Guelke, a vicepresident of the Waterloo faculty association, places the conflict in Dr. Gillham’s seemingly dual

. ..because of personal rather than professional reasons.

Waterloo, in particular, has been active in promoting this connection between science andcommerce. The result has been, as Dr. Lipczynska’s case points out, a conflict on the basis of ethical issues. Critics question the logic of professors making profit for their research, beyond the salary that the university is providing them with. Questilons also arise as to the rightful owner of the intellectual gains ma(de on campus; such as who has the right to patent the discoveries, the professor or the university?

Two oth<er issues are raised chairman of Waterloo’s Earth Sciences department. According to Dr. Lipczynska, Dr. Gillham stood to make a profit from her research, and she objected to this. It is for this reason, as well as unfounded rumours circulating about her as an untrustworthy and unprofessional researcher, that Dr. Lipczynska believes she was not rehired. Dr. Gillham, on the other

role. He is both a university professor and a private company owner. Tension exists because research conducted at the university stands benefit both the university and his company. It has been pointed out that this is not the first time that such a conflict has come up. In an age of funding cutbacks, universities have had to rely more and more on private funding for public research.

by Dr. Lipczynska’s case. First, an appropriate grievance-arbitra-

tion within

procedure

does

the university.

not exist Second,

there has been a suggestion that a unionized faculty might be of some aid to professors in similar situations. Meanwhile, the Faculty Association is collecting donations on behalf of Dr. Lipczynska, to help fund her legal fees. The ethical issues remain unresolved.

NEWS

UW UW News

reaches

Bureau

he University of Waterloo continues to broaden its international teaching links and horizons with new videoconferencing courses to universities in Mexico and New York state. Prof. Paul Guild, chair in Management of Technological Change in UW’s Faculty of Engineering, staid the experimental distance learning link has been established to connect three universities in North America. A combination of telephone and the Internet allows UW to deliver graduate training to students on campus and simultaneously to students in the School of Management at Syracuse University and Instituto Tccnologico y de Estudios Superiores de Monterrey (ITESM) in Mexico. “Using a Macintosh computing platform, students at the three sites can see each other (via compressed video windows of CUSeeMe) and share a common text, graphic and image workspace (using World Wide Web client-server applications), and hear each other (via group telephone),” Guild said. The course being taught in the current term is “Management of Technological Innovation: New

Product Collaboration Across The Borders of North America.” Nortel and Apple Canada have provided support for this experimental course. The general study topic is concerned with the “planning, development and implementation of technological capabilities for the purpose of attaining the strategic and operational goals of organizations,” and specific aspects deal with new

A link has been

established to connect three universities in iVorth America. product

collaboration throughout America, he said. Objectives of the course inelude exploring the use of information technology in distance education and understanding the special chalIenges of building inter-firm collaborative relations among firms in Mexico, the United States and Canada. Classes for the 12-week course are held Thursdays from lo:30 a.m. to I p.m.,betweenJanuaryandApril 1996. “From our experiences in esNorth

out tablishing this collaborative knowledge-sharing experiment, we believe there is considerable scope to improve the efficiency and effectiveness around thecreation of such ‘tele-learning’ partnerships,“Guild added. Such long-distance teaching ventures are nothing new for Guild, who has been associated with the School of Communication at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia for the past five years. He has been involved in the concept of remote distance education, or the ability to provide ‘virtual classrooms’ across Canada via the Internet, or information highway. Since 1991, Guild has conducted graduate courses in the management of technological change using a distance-education link between UW and Simon Fraser. It is composed of an “interactive multimedia link, supporting audio, video and graphics” over the Internet and telephone systems. The University College of Cape Breton in Nova Scotia was added to the link in 1992, making it a coast-to-coast network over four time zones and 5,000 kilometres. Future plans are to expand the number of participating locations to other academic sites and possibly some industrial sites.

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Lenardon staff

he Future of Canadian Universities” will be the topic of a forum at the Village One Red Cafeteria on April 1 at 7:30 p.m. A panel of five “experts” will be present to make presentations and answer questions on specific topics related to the university. Dr. James Downey, President and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Waterloo will be present.

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29,1996

Bureau

he University of Waterloo has rescheduled all 30 examinations that would have been written by more than 1,600 students on Friday, April 19. That day is organized labor’s planned day of protest in Kitchener-Waterloo. Jim Kalbfleisch, vice-president, academic and provost, said examinations scheduled for that day will be held instead on Monday,

future. Other panlel members include Michael Bums, Executive Director, Ontario Undergraduate Stud&t Alliance (OLJSA), Dr. Joy Cohnstaedt, Former Chair of the Ontario Council on University Affairs, Art Headlam, Former Director of Research Services, Universitry of Waterloo, and Dr. Alan Lee, Professor of Sociology at the University of Toronto. Studems, faculty, university staff, the general public, and the media are urged to attend.

moved final examination schedule,” Kalbfleisch said in a memo. “In all other respects Friday, April I4 is ;d normal business day for the university,” he added. As well, Kalbfleisch said in the memo circulated across the cam“We acknowledge that this pus. decision will adversely affect a number of students who have made travel and other plans following their last scheduled examination. However, before making this decision, the possibility of reschedul-

“We acknowledge that this decision will adversely affect a number of students. ” April 22. The decision was made “in view of the uncertainty as to the possible effect on public transportation and student access to campus generally,‘* he said. “The move includes examinations scheduled by the department/ instructor as well as those centrally administered. On the Monday, examinations will be held at the same time of day and location as currently scheduled for April 19. This move takes advantage of the storm/ emergency provisions which are routinely published as part of each

ing the Fridlay examinations into the other days of the regular schedule was thoroughly investigated. “This alternative proved to be impracticable because of the large numbers of conflicts that would result. Individual instructors may make alternative arrangements for examinations scheduled for April 19 provided that individual students are not unduly disadvantaged, and that senate examination regulations are observecil. The scheduling staff in the registrar’s office are available to assist with this process.”

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

29,

NEWS

1996

Racing by Patti Imprint

for a cure puzzle together.” To do this, he and Christine founded the Batu Centre for Leukemia Research (Batu is her mother’s maiden name), and havt: spent the last few years travelling the country, trying to garner financial support for their research. So far, they have met with moderate success. Professors and medical professionals around the

Lenard staff

hristine lchirn’s goal is to find a cure for leukemia. This, in itself, is not so tremendous ;I goal. Rather, it is the dd;lils thiit make it so. Eight years q~o, Christine’s mother was diagnosed with leukemia and was given only five years to live. Soon after the diagnosis, Christine and her brother Thomas realir.ed, not only that there was no cure for leukemia. but also that little et‘fective research W;IS being conducted in this area. So, they took it upon themselves to condllct it. She was 13 tind he was IS when they began their quest to find a Christine lchim, in a race for life. curtt and save their mclthcr. Theirmother is still ;1livt3 today, and t&Thomas country have agreed to help them, and Christine hope that theirefforts citing theonly obstacle in their way and research will save her life. as lack of funding. When they first began their As a result, Christine, an A research, they quickly came to the student in her last year of high conclusion that has since been their school, will be spending her sumdriving force. They realized that mcr roller-blading across Canada while valuable experiments had to raise money for leukemia rebeen and continued to be conducted search, and her goal is to raise S throug bout the country, the research million dollars. was not being amalgarnatcd into a Christine will alsotake some time out of her trip to talk to cancer coherent whole. p;Hients, in an effort to offer some Thomas compares the bits and pieces of information being gathhope. She wants to ensure that they “do not lose their spirit and know ered to pieces of a puzzle. His role, he says, “is to fit the pieces of this that someone is out there who is

I ‘shaw’

For once, students

take Kalbfleisch

by Mona Tokarek special to Imprint

f you haven’t yet seen it - you will! It’s UW’s first ever campus rickshaw: the RIOT Tuesday, March 26 RAKshaw! was the day of unveiling, complete with the first ride given to the Vice President of UW, Jim Kalbfleisch -

---

willing to help.” She hopes that her efforts can inspire cancer patients to keep on tighting their disease, and she wants them to know that finding a cure is both possible and within reach.She will be starting her trip in Vancouver, and will roller-blade 70 hm everyday. She expects her trip to take 104 days in total. Christine will be accompanied by her public relations organizers, Orest Szczurko and Arthur Chiang, both of whom will be travelling in vans. As well. campaigners will be travclling ahead of Christine to organize promotion in the cities that she will pass through. She wili not be in KitchenerWaterloo until the end of January, but will be having a sending-off party, on April 27 at noon, to which all are invited. The party will start at the Civic Hall at the Kitchener City Hall, where mayor Richard Christie is expected to show off some of his own roller-blading skills. The party will then move to Victoria Park, where free food and drinks wilt be provided. Donations to the cause will be accepted here. All money gathered towards what Christine and Thomas are dubbing the “Canadian Cure Campaign,” in an effort, Christine adds, “to associate the letter C with something more positive than cancer.”

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for a ride. for free. In fact, all rides from this day forward will be free. The KAKshaw, or Random Act of Kindness rickshaw, is one part of the efforts of a small group on campus called the RIOT team. They have been committed this year to bringing a little cheer into the gloom of a tough university year and to proving that there ARE free things

in this world. The members of RIOT (Really Incredible Outreach Team), part of Navigators, a Christian club on campus, have been involved in several activities this year. Through events like the free pancake breakfast and free apple cider on cold mornings, RIOT seeks to reach out to the people of this campus with random kindness, desiring to put their faith into action. The RAKshaw began as a crazy idea someone shouted out in a brainstorming session, in response to which some people laughed, others shook their heads, and some asked, “What’s a rickshaw?” RIOT decided it was a good idea, but they couldn’t find one to rent. However, that didn’t stop Paul Adams, one of the team memAdams built the RIOT bers. RAKshaw on his Christmas holiday. Now that the RAKshaw has proved to be roadworthy and legal, it will be running all over campus this summer and into the fall. So, if you see the RIOT RAKshaw coming by, hop a ride - it’s free!

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NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 29, 1996 -

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that

by Wendy Wood special to Imprint

in your

RCMP. Clay had pot plants displayed in the front window uf his store and was selling them to local residents. However, even though the plans were immature and contained no THC, he was still charged with trafficking, possession and cultivation. His lawyers are challenging the constitutional legality of these charges. Egri decided to help Clay’s fight by organizing a Marijuanathon to raise funds for the legal process. Due to poor weather conditions, the Marijuanathon did not take place, but several hundred dollars were collected for Clay. Clay, who was supposed to speak ~,)n Parliament Hill, was unable to attend due to illness. Despite the damp, coId weather, spirits were high and the raIly went on. The event included speakers from Toronto and B.C., as well as three local bands. The diverse crowd consisted of everyone

he sweet smell of ganja scented the air on Parliament Hill March 22nd. Despite freezing temperatures, over 200 devoted pot smokers arrived on the hill with pipes, reefers and hope that one day marijuana will be legalized. The rally for pot legalization was the first that Parliament Hill has seen in a long time. It was a dream that motivated Paul Egri, a student at Carleton University, to start up a Cannabis Club in hopes to raise public awareness that people do smoke pot and always will smoke pot. Egri says, “lots and lots of people smoke, but not enough is done to fight for Iegalization.” Shortly before starting up the club, Egri heard about ChrisClay, a resident of London, Ontario, who had his hemp shop ransacked by the

Graduatina

pipe,,.

from hip hippie kids, to parents that makes us different is not the with small children. YFB Trio, a fact that we smoke pot, but the fact that we can be thrown in jai1 for Carleton University band started off the rally, followed by a emowhat we love to do.” His passiontional speech by Egri. He referred to everyone in the audience as brothers and sisters, which seemed appropriate with the smell of marijuana wafting through the crowd. Next up was Marc Emery, president of Hemp B.C. This group is actively involved in fighting for the legalization of pot. Emery has given speeches across North America on the use of marijuana and his incredibly motivating speech to the crowd on Parliament Hill was a reminder to every pot smoker that the fight has only begun. He promised to return again and The red Canadian leaf. again, if the audience promised to put up a fight. He referred to ate speech reverberated through the members of Parliament as “egomadense euphoric cloud, and the mesniacs who are trying to kill us.” “Its sage was clear; pot smokers need to like a cultural genocide. The thing get involved. Emery also talked in length about Bill C-8, which will tighten marijuana laws, making life more difficult for all pot smokers. “The police spend hundreds of millions of dollars busting pot smokers, when this money could be used to take real criminals off the streets,” Emery exclaimed to the attentive crowd. Bill C-8 was first passed by the Liberal government in October 1995, in the absence of the opposi-

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ellow daffodils will soon appear on coat lapels across Canada marking the beginning of the National Cancer Institute of Canada’s (NCIC) 1996 campaign. For 50 years, the NCIC has funded research efforts leading to better treatments, earlier detection of tumours, and improved survival rates. In fact, the NCIC funded bone marrow research conducted by Dr. E.A. McCulloch and Dr. J.E. Till which has heIped the survival

tion party. Although this is not usual procedure, it was somehow overlooked., partially due to the referendum. There was plenty of testimony in opposition of the Bill, but the controversy surrounding the passing of the Bill was never addressed. The Bill goes through a second reading this year and if the Senate passes it, all pot smokers will be affected. First, it will increase the police power of search and seizure. ISecondly, the Bill will streamline the justice system, meaning mare trafficking charges can be laid. Thirdly, and most unfortunately, the Bill has no provision for the medical use of marijuana for the ill. Emery, who lives in B.C., spoke of suffering among the AIDS population in Vancouver. “These people rely on pot to keep their weight normal and for pain relief,” said Emery. Those who attended the rally were left with a sense of pride. The reality is that the fight has only begun, however. Emery says, “everyone of you go home right now and write a letter to your MP. Send Chretien a bud, because you know the hypocrites in this building behind me 10~1: to smoke up too.” Emery promised to return to Ottawa in the future to continue to fight for the rights of pot smokers across Canada.

a cure rate of childhood leukemia leap from 15% in 1970 to 85% today. Evidently, the: contributions made by Canadians to the NCIC have impactedpatientsafflicted withcancer in a compelling way. However, a cure for cancer remains unknown. This year, the Kitchener-Wa&oo campaign hopes to raise $500,000 for the organization. To help fund research that may lead to a cure, watch for the following events planned by the Canadian Cancer Society Kitchener-Waterloo Unit in April:

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March 29: 1996

Societv

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that $2000 plus was an excessive amount to spend on an event that attracted so few people (approximately 75 students attended the Formal). She suggested that a smaller amount should be alloted in the future. The biggest debate surrounded a request from theTheatre Student’s Association (TSA) for a grant to cover some new phone and computer equipment. Councillors questioned the TSA about what equipment was necessary, and whether they could put off purchase of some of the items. Josh Windsor, current ASU President, noted that the ASU likely does not have the money to provide the grant without running into the red. Treasurer Mike Lippert said he was not sure what money is currently available, as there are still

- - - 4

audited

volume

f i v

number

1996

some checks which haven’t been cashed yet and the ASU has not received its second allotment from the Federation of Students. The Council voted to table the TSA request until the state of ASU finances is cleared up. Among the final business of the meeting was a motion by Windsor to appoint Jodi McCullough acting President for the Spring Term, as Windsor will not be on campus. McCullough is the current ASU Social Convenor and in the recent election was acclaimedpresident for next year. Problems have begun to emerge in other student societies like SciSoc, but the Feds are concentrating on the ASU right now. Suska hopes, however, that the incoming Fed executive will make it a long-term project to investigate all Ihe student faculty societies.

Learnhow does

Imprint by UW News

Bureau

tudents in the faculties of Applied Health Sciences, Arts, Environmental Studies, Mathematics and Science can now consider adding the Print Journalism Option to their program. By electing the requisite courses you can complete the degree requirements of your chosen field of study and the requirements for the diploma. Professional journalists require an appreciation for the written word and the technical skills to create material suitable for the mass media. Of equal importance, they require a strong understanding of the world, its peoples, institutions, technologies, processes, and problems. These two types of knowledge can be obtained by enroling in the concurrent Bachelor’s degree/Diploma in Journalism, offered by the University of Waterloo and the Conestoga College of Applied Arts and Technology. By fulfilling the requirements of both programs, students gain broad knowledge and depth in a major subject area (at the General or Honours level) as well as the technical skills required for careers in print journalism. The joint program has been developed to avoid duplication of content and to permit completion of the Bachelor’s degree and the Diploma in minimum time: Students can choose the three year

General Non-Major or Major plus one year at Conestoga College, after complerion of the 25 required term courses or the four year Honours or General Non-major or Major, plus one year at Conestoga College; this year normally to be taken between the 3B and4A terms, after completion of 25 of the required term courses, including the 5 basic courses required for the option. Application for admission to the Journalism Option can be made during the 1B term at the earliest, and normally, not later than the 2B term; decisions regarding admission are normally made in May (or following the 1B or 2B term) by the Option Academic Board, composed of members of the University and Conestoga College and including the Director of the Option. The Option has limited enrollment, with intake numbers as determined by the board. Application at other times will be considered. Application forms are available in the Registrar’ s Office. Details of the program are contained in a pamphlet available from the Office of the Associate Dean, Undergraduate Affairs, or your departmental advisors. For further information contact the Director of Print Joumalism: D.E. Irish, Department of Chemistry ESC- 139; ext.2500; email:dtish@chemistty.watstar.uwaterloo.ca.

pthe h o e a

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For a donation of a mere $2 to $5 you can own a copy of Phoenix, the University of Waterloo Annual Student Journal. Chock full of %tudent poetry, artwork, short stories, and photography,” and financed by the Federation of Students and Imprint, Phoenix is a collective effort of many dedicated and talented volunteers. Pick up your copy at the Federation of Students offlce or the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. Phoenix can be viewed on-line as of May at http:j/watservl.uwaterloo.cajbphoenix.

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ife at a new schooi can be an overwhelming experience for recent high school graduates. This can be particularly true for first year students that live off-campus. With this in mind the Pals Off-Campus Dons (PODS) program is going to be running again this fall. This will be its second year in operation. PODS are upper year students who are willing to share the wealth of knowledge they have amassed on their journey to upper year status with first year students. Many first year students are often too distressed with prohlems like how long it takes to cook pasta to have the time to learn about all that UW has to offer. A POD’s “raison d’etre” is to provide, upon demand, the aforementioned knowledge to the student in

hopes of making their first year as enjoyable as smooth as possible. A POD may be approached for a variety of issues ranging from simple and laughable concerns about personal hygiene products and laundry soap to more serious

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communication skills. PODs must also have a keen interest in helping fellow students. There will be periodic get togethers and weekly phone contacts .. . just to chat. PODS must be prepared to invest their time and effort. The leadership and communication experience gained by being a+PClD can be an exce!lent steppmg stone to other positions on and off-campus, such as a residence Don or teaching a+ s&ant. We are also looking for a PODS co-ordinator for the spring term, who would be invalved in the administrative end of POD% Organizational and communicative skills are an asset.

Applications for both positions are available at the Federation of Students office in the Student Life Centre and are due on April 9, 4 p.m. If you have any questions, give Rose Bilicic a call at extension 3780orMarc Iturriagaat X86-8844.

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My last Fedback. And I am not even going to do anything stupid. I tried to write something fidncy to thank all the people who have made this year such a success for us. However. my forte definitely Iies in creating crossword puzzles, making up horoscopes, and being goofy - not being eloquent in thanking people. This past Monday night, the Federationof Students honoured Student Leaders. The key-note speaker, Avvey Peters, made a speech that left the room spellbound. I am going to steal from it. “Student leadership means many different things to many different people. There is a general concept of student leaders as people who always have to be doing something - anything to help students interests. Student leaders are a special breed. They tend to juggle too many projects on top of their schoolwork. They negotiate with administration for an improved quality of student life. They even badger governmerits for better access to higher education. Administrators and politicians do their best to meet student needs, but it takes a student to spell out those needs. Because of that, many student leaders have a reputation of being demanding and

down a full-time job. Yet, some students take on ;lnnther job, on top of their studies. They work to make things better for their peers. “For the most part, there is no pay cheque, no advancement incentive, and no pGd sick leave. Regardless, student leaders continue to plow ahead. Their dedication sets them apart. Their desire to be heard, and make a difference. “I suppose I’m making student leadership sound like a blissful, enviable experience that every student should go after. After all, they’d be crazy not to. But it’s not

Student leadershipmeans .-manydifferent things to many different people.

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for everyone. Being part of student life at Waterloo, and working for student interests has given me a greater sense of accomplishment than a transcript of straight A’s ever could. That’s a conviction 1 know I share with many of the student leaders on this campus. And that’s what gives Waterloo students a strong voice. “Many thousands of students spend their time at Waterloo with their heads down. Their anention firmly fixed on getting good grades and moving on, their determination to do well is admirable. But those thousands of students, whether they realize it or not, need peers like you. Your priorities are a little different. You still want to do well in your studies,but you recognize that there

is more to earning a degree than term papers and final grades. Lifling your head out of the books to work with one another, wirh faculty and with staff m&es the W3tcr1oo experience that much better i‘or all of us. “Thequality ofstudent life here at UW is ever-improving. Students gain more credibility and more rt’spect with each passing year. I salute your ef‘forts and 1 sympathize with your stresses. Just remember that your great juggling act is one that is brilliant to watch. and a tough one to follow.” “Basically, what I wanted to say is 1hat I have had a great year. I[ know that I couldn’t have accomplished a single thing had it not been for ihe thousands of students who helped me. There are so many students who make things happen on this campus. We lake it for granted that Imprint will be on the news stands on Fridays, the Chinese Sludents Association will organize a dance, the Science C & D will have enough volunteers to set up shop, et cetera. One day, 1 would like someone to find out the number of students that it really takes to make this campus tick. Lots of people get paid big bucks to make things happen through administration, and that has helped to make this campus so great. But a more fascinating fact is that tots of people work damned hard for nothing, and their effotts also help this campus to lx what it is. Wow-it’s pretty amazing if you think about it. “So thanks. Rest of luck in al1 of your future endeavours. Get involved, keep involved, and make your mark.”

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IMPRINT, Fridiay, March 29, 1996

Dave

3mprint

Fisher staff

sian, which

is tosay minimal at best. They’ll work on community projects and try to develop a communication in the process. At the end of the year, Garolyn and her partner will fly to Indonesia at the peak of a humid summer. Indonesia is the world’s fourth most populated country and spread out over an amazing 13,000 islands. Carolyn and her group of seven wiI1 initially spend a week in Jakarta, the nation’s capital, and will meet with President Suharto. The week will be a chance for the small group to relax and holiday in the reasonably cosmopolitan city before the real grunt work in health clinics, rice paddies and schools begins.

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adventure

arolyn Stark is prepared for a culture shock. The second year Waterloo Kinesiology student has just been selected to participate in Canada World Youth’s I99697 Youth Exchange Program and she’ 11be spending four months in Indonesia during the monsoon season. Canada World Youth (CWY) is a national, non-profit organization which coordinates unique education and exchange programs for 17-2 1 year olds. The program off‘ers an opportunity to develop leadership skills, explore social justice issues, and to become more active in community and international development. a A twenty-year old, Canada Jeunesse Carolyn has been applying World Canada for participation in the Canada Youth Monde World Youth program since u she was seventeen. As excited as she is by the prospect ahead of her, she’ll aIso be making The bulkofherexperience will sacrifices, most notably in athletbe in a rural village in a tropical its. Carolyn was the leading goalrainforest. She’s been told to exscorer on the Ontario champion pect that there’ll be no running Athena field hockey team, and she’ll water, no sewage, and that she’ll be have to give up the next playing living with a large family that in all season to participate in the proprobability won’t speak English. In gram. fact, she’s been told that her placeAlong with six other Canadiment will be so remote that most ans, Carolyn will begin orientation villagers will never have seen a in Nova Scotia in August for a person of European origin. Carolyn duration of four months. There will have to boil all water, won’t she’ll meet her exchange partner have any toilet paper, will have to from Indonesia, whose English eat with her right hand (see previskills are expected to be about as ous point), and will have to abide fluent as Carolyn’s Malay Indoneby all the Muslim community’s

SAC

gives students the world

by Rudy Braers special to Imprfnt

he Lnternational Trade Specialization in the Faculty of Arts Applied Studies is a small, unique prog:am at the Univeristy of Waterloo. The Specialization allows students to combine international co-op work placements with studies in international relations, trade, marketing, language or culture. Sound too good to be true? Well, international job ‘i&? placements demand commitment and continuity from both students and Co-op. In addition to this, international placements require a very close relationship between the students and Cooperative Education. With the , assistance of SAC, the International ~ Trade Program was able to formalize the links between students and , co-op. SAC chaired a focus group, ~ including participants from InterI national Trade, Applied Studies, Co-op and Career Services, the Federation of Students, Student Affairs, and Alumni Affairs, to discuss some of the key issues surrounding international job place-

Securing an international men&. work placement usually involves a lot of time, money and patience. Working visas, housing (have you ever found a cheap sublet in Hong Kong?) and working conditions abroad are just a few of the concems faced by Co-operative Edu-

With the assistunce of

SAC, thelnternationul pr*gram

waS

abze

to formalize the links between students and C04p.

IN THEATRES

APRIL 12TH

customs. That means she’ll have to walk behind men, won’t he able to expose any skin (she’ll wear a sarong), can? look men in the eye, and will fast for Ramadan. Ask Carolyn whether she has any problems with these restrictive hardships rind customs, and she answers, “I’ll just have to deal with it. I’ve known all along that we would be obliged to conform, so I’m not too worried. The idea behind the program is to explore interraction,, initiative and leadership, so I’ m actually excited about everything.” More excited, it should be mentioned, than her parents who were at first hesitant, and field hoc key coach Sharon Creelman who’s losing a star sniper. Carolyn will try to stay in shape for field hockey while in Indonesia by running, hut doesn’t know how easy it will be training in a sarong. As for her diet, it’ll mostly be comprised of rice (the staplej, vegetables and spices, and fish. The villagers gro’w and catch everything they eat; fish are caught by flooding and then draining the rice paddies. An Indonesian delicacy is beetle larva; Carolyn says she “might try it,” explaining that Indonesians are extremely generous people and it would be an offense, not to mention a diplomatic faux pas, for her to refuse it. In the meantime, Carolyn is rapidly anticipating August with multiple vaccinations and fundraising for the project.

cation and students alike. In addition, students working abroad may find that pay scales do not match what can be earned

in Canada.

On the plus side, international work placements are extremely rewarding experiences leaving students with a better understanding of foreign cultures, businesses and peoples. Last Friday, SAC organized another meeting to examine a pro-

posal brought forth by International Trade students. Over the span of two hours, the focus group worked collectively to resolve many of the issues brought up by SAC and International Trade. The proposal included formal izing student networking, allowing International Trade students to help maintain and develop their own international job connections with the continued assistance of Co-operative Education. The roles of the students and international . job coordinator were more clearly defined during the meeting in an effort to improve efficiency and expand information on working visas, housing, and foreign cultures. Finally, it was agreed that International Trade Students require an office to coordinate student research. When all was said and done,

the leadership

provided

SAC and the cooperation of all members of the focus group ensured a successful conclusion to the meeting. If you have any concerns about Co-operative Education, talk to SAC. They mlay be able to help you find a solution!

IMPRINT,

NEWS

Friday, March 29, 1994

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Justice for Gentles On 24 October 1993, during a lockdown at Kingston Penitentiary, guards approached Robert “Tex” Gentles’ cell and ordered him to turn down his radio. When he in turn demanded to know why the prisoners had not been fed in 21 hours, a six member cell extraction team was unleashed on him. He was mated four times the amount of tnace prescribed by Correctional Services Canada (CSC) to subdue a pri saner, beaten, pinned faced down on his bed by the six guards, and huf‘l’ocated. Other prisoners who w itnesssd the initial exchange between Gentles and the guards said that Tex was not physically aggressive towards the guards when they entered his cell. He was just resisting being taken to the hole for a reason he knew was unjust. When the guards dragged him out of his cell, his hands werecuffed behind his back and his legs were in irons. His body appeared lifeless and his head was hanging. The guzds dragged his body to a stairwell and dropped him on his face. Tex um the sixlh prisoner to die of‘ UIltli~tLlKlt C;IUses in little over a MITT in ;I Kingston ;lre;r prison.

Were it not for the tireless and pcrsisttznt eCl’orts of’ the Cientles Lunily,the murderofKobert Gentles would h;tve been another covered up prison death. The guards re-

fused to give police detailed statements about the killing. The Crown attorney insisted from the start that charges not be pressed. Then Attorney General Marion Boyd repeatedly refused to reconsider the charges. Because of this whitewash, it took extensive investigations and the efforts of the Gentles’ legal team to uncover the truth before private charges of criminal negligence causing death and manslaughter could be filed against the guards. This was the first time in Canadian history that guards have ever been charged in connection with the death of a prisoner. However, charges against four of the six were almost immediately dropped, Charges proceeded against Sean Wiley and Barry Aitchinson, who were identified as the two guards who had pinned down Tex’s upper body and head. Both have serious histories ofbrutality: Wiley is notorious for his provocation& threats, and intimidation against outspoken prisoners; and, Aitchinson was actually fired once after he and two other guards assaulted a prisoner bound to a stretcher in an ambulance on his way to a hospital. Aitchinson’s union successfully had him reinstated just eight months after his dismissal. Delay tactics were successful in eating up AI the legal funds and Sabotaged the private prosecution, leaving the Gent& family with no otherchoice than toallow the Crown to take over the case. With no real interest in prosecuting employees of the CSC, the Crown withdrew 2111 charges against the remaining two guards in June of 1995. Carmetta Gentles was bitter about this turn in events: “It was all a farce. Just a big joke. They had no

intention of prosecuting in my view. Black people, all ethnic people, and poor white people don’t get any justice.” She intends to appeal the decision to withdraw the charges. But the new Attorney General of Ontario under the Tories, Bob Runciman, has gone on record saying that prisoners in Ontario aren’t suffering enough to his liking. Meanwhile, Runciman makes inflammatory statements against Black community organizers and has given Ontario police forces hollow-point bullets. It is exactly for this reason that fundraising is needed to continue the fight, while raising public awxeness about the case. As Gentles has put it, “My son is gone, I miss him greatly. I still cry a lot sometimes and I know that is not going to bring him back.” “But I have always said if I can spare another mother the grief 1 have gone through and am still going through, then I would think my life is not in vain.” For more information, contact the WPIRG offIce. U’PIRG

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ual harassment

Fighting

the “New Work Place,” aimed at persons in a position ofpower at the university (Chairs, Deans, Prof’t:ssors), consists of 3 different programs, ;ibout 3 hours each in Icngth.

“You need tu have a?~envirunment that it is OK to talk about these issues (sexual harassment, diversity]* Ir9- A-fatt Erickson, Coordinatur for Eth‘ical Behavior and Human Rights, UW --I_____.-___-I -- --______-__-_l---“-__ .-. entertaining anal Criu<;lti0n;lt play. 13ch;lcior;lnd ~Iun~~~ Kights.“From Kcmcrnber the “Ycillrw file her-e you can find information on a folder” that we got in our f‘i-o\h or wide range of issues and when ~,~ou co-op kits? It contained int‘ormaiiccess the Yellow tile folder _vou tion on what is sexual harassment, can click on anyone on the help list what to do if you are being harassed to automatically e-mail them. An educational program called and who you should contact. Well

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One problem however is that every pr~~gram th;it is llniversity wick and is aimed at the Faculty is on ti vulunlar-y basis, meaning that those Pttrkssors and staff‘ who’s behavior is inappropriate may never be exposed to the information. It is necessary that compulsory programs be instituted that reach those in positions of power, especially those with direct power over students. The Engineering Faculty is a good model of preventative teaching. For a number of years the Engineering Faculty has invested considerable energy into the education of its students. They are the only Faculty in which every student is required to take an ethics course (compulsory in their first year cur-

situation constitutes harassment (there are many ways to resotve ;L complainl, this is just one of-them). First don’t blame yourself, you can’t control the actions of others. Document the incidents, incIudt5 dates, times, locutions, n;imes ol“ witnesses (if any), what exactly happened , wh;it your rctiction wan, and how you felt.

riculum) that includes examining sexual harassment m This program reaches all areas of Engineering, and the professors are actively involved. Among other activities, this program consists of seminars given by Matt Erickson and a test on the issues presented. Specific issues that are addressed are diversity, law, professional code of conduct, and sexual harassment. This past year all first year accounting students were given this talk. There are other programs available at UW. The Co-operative JZducation Department has employed 3 harassment advisors to act as liaisons between UW and Co-op placement work places. As well, an interactive video/ sexual harassment quiz has been created. It concentrates on interpretation of events and whether or not the actions are harassment. Finally, there is sexual harassment training available for teaching assistants. Here% what to do if you are harassed or you want to know if a

The newest resource, expected to be active in mid May is the University Resolution Support Program. This group consists of both staff and student voiunteers trained in policies, processes and problem solving. It is important to note that the group is non-advocacy. They will be there from the initial complaint all the way through, and even after the process is finished, to help you deal with the results. This program is here “to make the experience a little less fearful,” says Matt Erickson. There are many more resources on campus, so don’t be afraid to use them, they are all there to help. If you are interested in attending or creating a seminar for a class or a group, M;Jtt Erickson is avaiiable to assist with programming. Erickson can be reached at 8884567 ext. 3765 or X85- 121 I ext. 3765. I$m-mcrtitln r nurtpsy Cluxtm ami Mutt Eril*k.son.

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Exams are near, final essays and assignments are due, and Imprint Volume 18 has just arriven at ISSUC No. 33. That means one thing for all of you-the last paper of the school year and your- not having to put up with your5 truly anyrnorc. It means an entirely different thing [or me---I’m nou? out of ;1job, That puts me in the same category as ;1 lot of Waterloo students who’re now leaving the nest and moving into the marketplace for a job, a career, a life. 1 have to say that it’s with a great deal of fear and trepidation that 1 step into the “real world” and encounter the lahour force. It’s not a fun place to be. As many of you are doubtless aware., that labour force is pretty constrictive al the moment. It has been for the past half-decade, and shows very few signs of improving. Many of you doubtlessly also have friends and family who’ve already encountered the wall of rejection that many of us are about to face. Myself, I know a great many talented and skilled friends who are lucky to get form rejection letters, Ihat’s how bad the marketplace is. The tales of woe get repetitive: too many skilled and experienced people, too few vacant positions. On that positive note, I’d like to reflect on the past year a little and thank a11 the volunteers and readers who in some way helped to make the paper the success that I believe it is. While it’s true that I’ve been counting down the weeks, I’ve enjoyed the experience immensely. I’d be lying if I claimed it was always that way. Like everything in life, the job is fraughr with a million roadblocks and unscheduled obstacles, especially the computer meltdowns, which never seem to go smoothly. Then there’s the readers who’re forever complaining about the paper’s numerous supposed biases. When you and a team of volunteers works as hard as does the staff at Imprint, and then hear some of the criticisms, it stings a little. Some of the criticisms are valid, mind you, and I’d like to think that not just a few of them have in some respect been constructive enough to make us a better paper. Either way, the paper welcomes them all; wejust try not to get too fued by the ones that annoy us. To those people that do tend to annoy, 1% said it before and it bears repeatmg: if you believe that a voice is not being adequately reflected in the paper, do something about it and contribute to Imprint, It’s that simple No student is turned away. That’s the beauty of the paper-people will voice opinions that seem either totally on the mark or completely disagreeable. It’s an open forum for university students. Seldom in life will you again ever get the chance to have such a wonderful tool at your disposal. Now, I pass the torch of editorship back to Sandy Atwal, from whom I received it. The paper will be going through a huge technological transition in the coming weeks and will be, I believe, better than ever. But it’s not computer equipment that makes a great paper-it’s the people who contribute. On that note, I’d like to part by again recommending to everybody on campus to get involved with Imprint. it’s your paper, and it can only ever be as good as you make it.

The forum pag~h zll~~ menkr~ ot‘ the Vruversity of Waterloo community ttr present their views trn various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions exprus\ed 1r1c;~lum~~~.<UI~~TCEIpities, letters and other articles are srrictly those of the authms, not ofimprint. Imprint is an editorially indcpen Jcnt newspaper publkhcd by Imprint PuhIic;~trtrn\. U’ali7l~r:, rl <orporation without sh;ue capital. Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, W;lterloo. Ontrlrio. NX K I. -____I_--~ _.__ -- _ I I - .-- ----_ - _----

Rethinking

t occurred to me as I first began to write this comment piece to begin with the statement that “I am not a feminist.” And, I meant it in a defensive way. I meant it to defend myself against attack from those who might read this and say, “Oh, she’s just another feminist-” But, the Oxford English Dictionary defines feminism as the belief that women, for all intents and purposes. are equal to men. This, 1 believe, most people should now accept as a fundamental truth. Despite this technical and general delinition, somehow the word feminism has become a bad word. In most cases, it seems to have a negative connotation. More than this, the concept of radical feminism conjures up images of women caught up in the idea thai all men are inherently bad and should be put to death. It seems that the word radical has scared people off or offended them in some way. Too many people have translated their objection to the word radical to an objection to the word feminism. Obviously, it is some negative understanding of the concept of radical feminism that has led Sandy Atwal to label it as “An utter waste of time,” I am not disputing his right to hold this opinion. I would simply like to suggest that he is wrong. Further, I would like to suggest that he has come to his conclusion without taking the time to evaluate the arguments presented by radical feminism. The fact is that the doctrine of radical feminism makes many important points that cannot be ignored. First, radical feminism believes in the

Radical Feminism problems of the traditional patriarchal family, with the father as the manager of the household. It suggests that sexist ideas have often originated in the family. 1 can’t see any room for disputing this premise that has been so often ignored by other theorists. Radical feminists therefore suggest that focus must be placed on reorganizing the traditional family structure to prevent these ideas from being perpetuated. becond, radical feminism suggests that men have, in the past, tried to take control of women’s reproductive organs through both legislation and ideology. This may be less true now than it has been in the past, but the days of chastity belts are not that far gone. Third, radical feminism believes that almost all current institutions have been created by men. The doctrine does not say that this necessarily makes them bad or unacceptable. It simply recognizes that equality between men and women has meant women conforming to standards created by men. In order to create an “equal” society, women have been entering arenas traditionally dominated by men. Most notably, equality of alf members of society has come from women entering both political and occupational spheres. Less emphasis has been pIaced on men entering arenas traditionally dominated by women. While it is no longer shocking or out-of-the-ordinary for women to vote and to have careers, it remains entirely unconventional for men to engage, voluntarily, in household duties, much less stay home with the children. Women with careers are held up as normal. This is now to be expected.

Men participating in household duties and who actively participate in raising their children are portrayed as martyrs. For these men, we cheer. 1 agree that there is something a tad absurd about philosophies that focus exclusively on issues pertaining to women. Yet, before the rise of feminism, most philosophies focussed exclusively on those pertaining to men. Even past individualist and egalitarian theorists have taken gregat pains to exclude women from being considered equal. Liberal theorists have continually attempted to show that women are inherently inferior in some way, and that all the rights that apply to individuals do not necessarily apply to

women. I know that it is unfortunate that we are not entirely at the point where philosophical theories can apply to all people. The fact is, however, that women have spent thousands of years being dubbed inferior to men, and despite the fact that this ideology has largely been conquered, this memory is dying hard. I recognize that one doesn’t have to accept all aspects of a theory to see that its existence is useful, warranted, and a worthwhile manner in which to spend time. More than this, 1 knnw that sexist ickls have been and currently are being conquered primarily through the work of feminists, and that their work is not yet done. Feminist theories still make legitimate points, and until they cease to do so, our society cannot be said to have reached the absolute egalitarian point that Atwal seems to think it has.

.----Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters should be 500 words or less, typed and double-spaced or in electronic form, and have the author’s name, signature, address and phone number for verification. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuxe to publish letters or articles which arc judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gcndcr, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of imprint.

Against Brent To the Editur, A few comments in reply to Brent Fraser’s letter March 15,1996 “Sick of Excuses.” The overall employment rate for AHS students was 76% at the beginning ofthe 1995 Spring work term and 95% by the middle of the work term. Eleven students were unemployed, of which 7 were lirst year students. This follows a similar patternf‘or the last 2-3 years. And yes, a number of these jobs were found by students. This is not unusual given the nature of work many AHS students engage in during their secondary school careers. This term (Spring 1996), of the 52 intermediate/senior Kinesiology jobs posted, 12 were cancelled due to government cutbacks. A sign of the times we live in. Co-op is very competitive-students need to do everything to ensure their competitive edge. Mr. Fraser’s comments on two co-op jobs were shallow and superficial, and in the long-term damaging to the relationships the CECS department tries to foster with employers on behalf of the co-op students. The job market is constantly changing. Jobs are developed and maintained to meet the needs of the University academic programs and the employers, Jobs not meeting established criteria are rejected. 1 accept the comments on the co-op fee and we are addressing that issue in the Co-op Fee Review Committee. His comments regarding Brock Fuller ivere totally inappropriate and non-constructive. 1 and metnbers of the Co-opera t i ve Education and Career Services department welcome constructive criticism and comments. --Bruce Director

Lumsden of Co-op

Against Matt To the Editor, I would like to comment on Matt Metcalfe’s opinions in last week’s Letters to the Editor. Matt was writing in response to a letter entitled, “Sick of Excuses” in the previous edition of the Imprint. Who does this guy think he is? I’ve never read anything so condescellding and sarcastic. Mr. Metcalfe makes the bold assumption that because Brent Fraser has not been placed in a co-op position for the summer, that he has absolute!y nothing to offer an employer, that he is a lazy, unimaginative “asshole.” I’m not interested in getting into another debate about the benefits and faults of our co-op system, but I will say this, with all his challenging and rewarding coop experiences, Matt Metcalfe is the exception and not the rule. And

just because Mr. Fraser is not content with this situation, automatically makes him irresponsible and lacking initiative? I don’t think so, Apparently Matt Metcalfe believes that as long as a system is benefiting someone, those who are unhappy should not voice their grievances. I say Matt would make a great communist. Furthermore, I don’t think the first and second year students Mr. Metcalfe is so valiantly trying to protect really need his propaganda. I’m sure these students are just as capable as Matt and Brent of assessing the various available options and forming their own judgment about the program. 1 appreciate Matt for standing up for the co-op program and pointing out alternative sides to the issue addressed by Brent Fraser, but I don’t find it in the least bit necessary for him to do so in such a patronizing or self-righteous manner. Slamming a fellow student and calling him names only lessens the credibility of his opinion. -Brande Zebrak 3A Applied Studies

Crr-up

Brent’s back! To the Editor, I am responding in defense to Mr. Metcalfe’s letter in the Imprint with regards to his rather

by Pete

forward response to the Co-up situation. If you could step down from your throne for just one moment, I’d like to elaborate on my previously established feelings about the program. First of all, your letter seems to attempt to single me out as the only “whiner” or “asshole” to have such “pisspoor”opinions. Calling names and making ignorant assumptions about me is only reflective of your inexcusable approach to making yourself appear knowledgeable. Perhaps some writing courses at Trent would be in your best interests. Furthermore, if you arc stupid enough to think that this letter is only a representation of my own situation, you are sorely mistaken. Many of the students in our faculty feel like me. Whether or not you agree with that statement is not the issue here-65% of us were unemployed after first round. l-lopefulIy, your sense ofhumour will be able to interpret this as satire, but here goes: with the assistance of a Math graduate from Brock (thanks to your advice, Mr. Metcalfe!), this would indicate more than half of us are likely displeased with our co-op futures. So try to understand that not everybody is as satisfied with the system like yourself. You also conclude your letter by saying “on behalf of all the co-op students at the University, etc...” Well then, does this include the 75% of unemployed Science students or the 55?/0 of Arts students? Maybe you have support within your circle of friends, but don’t be arrogant enough to

speak for the rest of the student body-you’re sure not the fucking President. I would like to respond to your sage advice about taking some initiative and responsibility for tnyself. That’s a pretty blind comment, assuming you don’t know a thing about my academic background, experience and personality. Firstly, I went out and found my first co-opjob at McMaster University doing research. This was done without any of the “expertise and knowledge” of Mr. Brock Fuller. With regards to this term, I have been faxing resumes to clinics and hospitals in Thunder Bay, where I’ll be living this summer. I am also currently doing research in our own kingdom of BMH in hope of receiving NSERC grants in the future. I suppose these points are no indication of my “initiative and responsibiIity,” so I must continue. Please, bear with me, Mr. Metcalfe- I’m not quite finished. I must admit that I may have gone overboard with the Mr.Fuller comment. Anyone with his level of seniority must have been doing something right. But here are a few examples of the work he’s done for me. Let’s see: there was the time that my co-op record form was not ready, and upon returning to get it on a date we had agreed on, I was told that he would be out oftown for a few days. Consequently, I missed a co-op posting. There was also the time that I was not allowed to apply to jobs in the first posting because I had missed my RTC meeting.

Nesbitt

Spacek

and

Pat

Although I was not informed that this would be the result and I did not understand the benefit to excluding me from postings, I was not angry. However, when I found out that other students who had missed their meetings were not penalized, that’s when i became annoyed. Again, don’t single me out by assuming that I’m the only student who has not been getting their money’s worth. If you had done a little asking around, you would gel: quite a unanimous decision about the general productivity of Mr.Fuller. In defense of others, I shall say I have never had a problem with Mr. Roach nor Ms. Schrader of AHS Co-op, and that Mrs. Beverlie Robertson is the best damn thing in our co-op Program. She’s always been willing to help, and that’s all 1 ask for. 1 don’t consider “‘I don’t know, maybe you should check with co-op services” as assistance nor any indication of “expertise or knowledge.” Maybe you shouldn’t toot your horn until you know who’s horn you’re tooting. My Final problem still rests with your feeble defense ofthe main issue: are students in Co-op getting what they deserve? I am also sick of hearing university competition and the economy are the reasons for high unemployment rates--it doesn’t change the fact that I am unemployed after spending $400. I don’t know how businesses work in your Nevemeverland, but in this society businesses lose buyers if they don’? sell good products([ learned that from some business student at Western!). That’s why I made the ;point of saying dropping out is the most suitable solution: who is willing to pay for a shitty product, e.g. Marineland or Bingcman Park? I could find that on my own! One idea that was mentioned to me was the implementation of a commission based program, where the Co-op Coordinator in question would be paid for each placed student (satisified customer?). This is only one possible idea, but hey, at least we’re thinking about it instead of just regurgitating the same bullshit reasons. An individual such as yourself should be able to come up with something fresh, what with the experience of five Co-op terms under your shiny belt? Finally, you seem concerned that many first and second year coop students will get the wrong impression firom an “asshole” such as myself. In both letters, I have been honest in both facts and feelings about the AHS Co-op Program. Do you think it is best if these students remain unaware of the actual situation? Whether or not either of us know or don’t know the real reasons for th(e Co-op predicament the fact remains that no student at this university should be directed towards believing something that is not true. Asshoie or not, I would be the first person to say that Co-op offers several benefits through job placement. Unfortunately, you sure aren’t getting your money back if you get stuck working at MarineContinued

to page 16

FORUM

16 Continued

from

page 15

even if you joined Co-op hoping for That is the truth, clinical experience. Mr.Mstcalfe. But, thanks for writing, because that’s how conflicts are settled. Lastly, I am not angry at your response- I expected something along those lines- I just wish you had stepped onto a platform that is a wee bit stronger than the one you’re on now. land

-Brent Fraser 3A Hunours Self-Employed

More Co-op blues To the Editor, As a third year engineering student, I have adapted to co-op and the endless bureaucracy that is associated with it. Or, at least I thought so. Despite a pessimistic outlook as to the outcome of the rankings, I was piaced with Tundra, a spin-off company of Newbridge (telecommunications). This was something to celebrate! I was most enthusiastic about my future employment. Come March I was looking for accommodations in Ottawa and attempted to make contact with Newbridge a couple of weeks into the month. Aftera week of no response, I finally got in touch with the Human Resources representative of Newbridge. Much to my disbelief, Newbridge was unaware of who I was and, most importantly, that I was a future employee. Following numerous costly and time-consuming phone calls, it soon became evident that I no longer had a position with Newbridge. As it turned

out, the fax sent by co-op Ptireaucracy to inform Newbriaige o,f the matched candidates (me), had my name cut off at the top of the fax. According to co-op, a letter was also sent out toNewbridgecontaining the matched list as well. By Newbridge’s accounts, they had contacted co-op to inquire why a name was missing off the list of27 co-op students and were informed that thcrrt had been a computer error when it reported the number of people on the list. Newbridge thinking that there was still an opening hired another student from a different university. . Confusing ? I thought so. While Newbridge attempted to find the resources to place me at Tundra, co-op faxed my resumes off to twelve other companies. As of now, I have yet to hear back from co-op and Newbridge’s attempts seem to have failed. If anything, the incident demonstrates that co-op needs to be changed. How so? Coop should be accountable to students for the mistakes they make. Like any other contractual agreement, when one party does not fulfill its obligations (i.e. co-op), the other party (students) should be refunded in full. The underlying message here, is that I would appreciate a refund on my co-op fees. As well, I would like to suggest that students be given the option of not paying co-op fees and finding jobs on their own. As long as co-op is allowed to operate as a bureacratic monopoly and not have to compete for its funding, they will continue to be inefficient and ineffective. This is especially true for engineers where co-op is mandatory. While the experience I gained through my co-op work term is invaluable, the hassles to actually go through the system are more excessive. -Dartiel Baldor 3A Cmnpu ter Eq$neerirtg More

Letters

on page 19

IMPRINT,

It’s a bit difficult to write this, myfinal column for Imprint (unless I decide to pull a Sandy Atwal and hang around for a few extra years), just because there are so many things to say. The Globe and Mail actually came out this week speaking in favour of increased student aid, more generous scholarships, and more money for students in general. When a right-wing Editor-in-Chief like William Thorsell comes out in favour of giving more money to anyone, it’s pretty hard to argue otherwise; simply because there’s no one who’ll argue the other position. The Globe also calls for limiting the number of people admitted to degree programs, based on market demands. Wow. On the surface, a suggestion like this makes sense. Unfortunately, I can’t see it working. The market for professions such as engineers or architects is impossible to predict four or five years in advance. It also raises the question of who will do the predicting. Individual universities? If UW picks out a number, what if Queen’s disagrees? Would government take on this role, of setting graduate quotas for universities, allocating a portion to each university, and funding universities appropriately? It raises an interesting question, doesn’t it? I-iow would John Snobelen make these decisions? Would his NDP predecessor Dave Cooke have made them differently? When you begin to ask these questions, you quickly realize that the market simply can’t play the role The Glube calls for. On to another topic: What happens if you held a strike, but no one came? It looks like the OPSEU strike will soon be over. Maybe it will even be finished by the time this

Secondly, Imprint

Friday, March 29, 1996

acronym 1 just made up, eh?). Putting the residences under business operations is the biggest farce of them al1. The university had a chance to say that residences are an important contribution to student life. Instead, they”ve relegated them to a mere business operation. You’ve got to wonder where a move like this will lead. Will the Residence Life Assistants soon be replaced by a Residence Marketing Team’? The whole concept might -work if they’d just get rid of the platinum-price, garbage-quality meal plan. Maybe they could even expand their revenue base by selling mailing lists. Right. Final topic: rumours about Imprint. People have asked me many questions over the past year about Imprint, but unfortunately I’ve had to lie. Since I’m leaving now, however, it’s time to answer all of these questions honestly. First, yes, we did fix the elections. We fix them every year. All the money that you think goes to the Federation actually lands in Dave Fisher’s bank account, and he pays the Fed exec a small stipend depending on the quality of stories they give us with their boobery. Second, no,Imprint is notacrack house. We don’t even smoke in Ihe office. We do, however, quite often frequent other crack houses, such as Fed Hall, that party house on Princess Street, and Health and Safety. Third, yes, we do know where Jimmy Hoffa’s body is. It’s in the trunk of James Downey’s car. Yes, Elvis is alive. He’s had major reconstructive surgery and is now living under the name Greg Krafchick. Elvis/Greg will deny this, but that’s only to avoid his

is not a crack house...

paper gets published. Unfortunately, outside of Toronta,no one caves!! I can honestly say that government workers going on strike has not affected my life one iota. Now that I realize just how much dead weight the government maintains, t can’t say my sympathies have shifted to the unions. The funny part is when people try to conj%ce me that as someone who will be employed, I should automatically sympathize with the plight of the union. I disagree... circle gets the square. As I see it, the plight of the union is that it’s run by a bunch of paid hacks who’ve lost any credibility they once had with the people of Ontario. Seeing strikers refusing to let a mother bring her child into a hospital emergency ward may have played a large part in the crumbling of OPSEU’s popular support. Ask a member of the Canadian Auto Workers if they feel that OPSEU workers deserve the exorbitant severance packages that are being demanded. Keep in mind that most members of CAW actually work for their money, as opposed to the paper-pushing bureaucrats of OPSEU who’ve been getting fat off tax dollars for too many years. Topic number three: the university’s restructuring. What the hell? Student services are being spread out between Human Resources, Business Operations, with a few leftovers being placed under the Academic and Student Affairs. While it seems logical to have academics and student life melded together, it seems that the majority of university services impacting on student life will maintain no ties with the AssProvASA (cool

screaming fans turning U‘W into Graceland North. No, there is no communist conspiracy here to prove that God doesn’t exist. It’s an anarchist conspiracy. The communist conspiracy is to get us back into the CFS, The Parking Lot really isn’t all that full. That’s because profs are the only ones who can afford to park, and they’ve all retired. No, we don’t make up stories. We do, however, grossly and irreslponsibly exaggerate a lot. A real lot. A tonne. See? We don’t know who John Gait is either. Yes, professional wrestling is real. And yes, I am a fan. Seven. No, Fed Hal1 really isn’t losing money. The Feds are actually making a lot of money from it, by winning bets with other schools as to whose bar is the emptiest. Yes, keg beer is cheaper than buying by the bottle. No, Trish Mumby is not naturally that happy, We know because we often run into her at Fed Hall, 7 Princess Street, and Health and Safety. The Faculty Association executive are doing their best to inform everybody about the consequences

of unionization.

Yes, your Federation of Students executives do a lot on all of those conferences they attend... a lot of loafing, a lot of tequila, a lot of socializing, and a lot of sleeping in. And finally, Professor Kumar didn’t really sexually harass any females on this campus. He prefers to pick up little boys at pre-schools.

FORUM

Flagrant 0

University

ciety is willing to strip a model citizen like myself from the aspirations of becoming an engineer (which ofcourse would be forfeited by any charge concerning illegal narcotics). Upon graduation I will be able to contribute positively to society, generating tax income for our government, and repaying the money that was contributed towards my education.

SUMMER

Why, then, would the government seek to destroy that, and instead choose to pay $60,000 a year to feed, cloth, shelter and educate me in prison-only to find that I will have little or no employability after release‘? If this isn’t already shocking enough, allow me to explain the means by which I came to discover this undercover investigation. One of my girlfriend’s classmates who

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has some affiliation with the police department (I suspect an undercover narcotics informant) approached her imparting some shocking information. He informed her that 1 was heavily implicated in a drug trafficking ring (it was news to me too!) and that I am only days away from being busted. He continued to say that in order to avoid prosecu-

Pizza, junk food, and u night hawk... The clmsic prufzle of a “pot-head’9 and a %eriously disturbed individual”

You Ire invited to

Friday, March 29, 1996

abuse of power?

+..or impersonating ver the past few weeks 1 was shocked to learn that 1 was under “investigation” by the Waterloo Regional Police Department for narcotic related offenses. l’m in a senior level engineering program, with an outstanding performance record to say the least. However, I have a lot more depth than my scholastic cndcavoLlrs, including a healthy social life coupled with a variety ofpersonal interests too mimerous to list. 0171: ofmy personztl interests includes the use of marijuana to promote an elevated state of mental awareness. I use cannabis recceationally and enjoy the efTects which it produces. 1 believe that without a means to relieve stress and mentally regroup I would not have gotten as far as 1 have-it just so happens that my present methodofregrouping is through the use of marijuana. 1have always been a very timid and quiet person, never seeking to hurt a soul. I like to think of myself as an open-minded person who never prejudges people, nor do I ever try icj force my will (or lifestyle for that matter) on others. 1 trust it’s clear that I am quite different from the money hungry crack pusher selling drugs to children and pregnant women. It is almost unthinkable that today’s so-

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tion it. would be in her best interest to end our relationship immediately (which is currently approaching the two year mark). My first thought was that this person was just a jealous (and maybe delusional) classmate who was attempting to steal my girlfriend with some invented story. However, the validity ofthe story was confirmed by this person’s seemingly unlimited knowledge of myself, my friends, and all of our social activities (providing even more information than my girlfriend was aware of). He claimed that he had found all this information by having a background check run on me, Since much of the information was accurate, his claims had to be taken seriously. In his conversation with my girlfriend he repeatedly abused his positional power to intimidate her, saying things such as “Don ‘t be surprised ifyuu cume home frum schuul andlwr house is being raided by the police. ” This is complete bullshit since my girlfriend has absolutely no ties to illegal narcotics and, dare I say, hasn’t even seen any weed in several years (like I said, I don’t seek to force my lifestyle on others). To compound this flagrant abuse, he told her that if she followed his instructions she could avoid any legal entanglements, as in his words she was the only one that “could be saved! ” He mentioned that he had already talked to the sergeant on her behalfand in the event that she were to be arrested she should call him immediatelv. It’s nice to see that he is not only an objecke officer of the peace but also able to play the role ofjudge, jury and executioner. It was at this point that the conversation turned to my life. This “law enforcement officer” began to ask my girlfriend questions about my lifestyle including my eating and sleeping habits. I guess he wished to develop a psychological profile for the pending investigation. My girlfriend responded that I like pizza and junk food, and that I tend to be somewhat of a night hawk (well guess what, I’m in engineering!). After hearing this he stated outright that I fit the classic profile of a typical “pot-heaS’ and that I was definitely “a seriously disturbed individual” who was obviously too involved with drugs to respect her or anyone. I would have to say that this is quite a hasty generalization for someone who has never even formally met me. I mean, if a taste for junk food and a willingness to stay up Iate to meet deadlines is all the information needed to classify someone as a pothead, 1 think that we’d all better head for the Betty Ford Clinic. It was at this point that he informed my girlfriend that essentially 1 “was beland heZp

ut this point,” and that shr: should make nu attempt to save me ‘tfrom the obvious everrts which were to occur.” My girlfriend reasonably saw through the cloud of psychobabble and did not follow the simpleton’s advice. Expanding on his previous remark he continued with the comment that both me and my friends where “beyond redrmptior7 and she should immediately minimize her losses by ending our relationship. After hearing this I sat waiting for ihe boys in blue to knock down my door and arrest me. I took some precautions to ensure my credibility, such as having my girlfriend prepare a typed written statement of the conversation between her and the “police officer” which 1 then gol: witnessed and notarized. As time passed I wondered what was taking them so long; I mean, if I am beyond redemption and represent such a threat to society, then why would they keep letting me wander the streets day after day. Finally I became frustrated by the whole situation and decided to cal I the police officer myself to set up a meeting. The phone call was quite interesting. He denied at least 90% of the statements that 1 had recorded in my girlfriend’s statement and instead made comments to the effect of “why would we be after you... the world needs more engineers.” I then asked if we could have a face-toface meeting, which he refused on the premise that he couldn’t jeopardize his career by meeting with someone like me. I then asked whether his conversations with my girlfriend were on a personal or a professional level. He responded that he was on a totally personal relationship with my girlfriend - which led me to wonder if he runs balckground checks on all of his acquaintances boyfriends. The conversation concluded with him saying that I was in absolutlely no danger and that I had nothing to worry about __ I guess somewhere along the way I had qualified myself for redemption. To conclude this tangled mess of abuse by this two-faced freak, he chose to call my girlfriend (which I was fully expecting) and condemned her as being as “bad as the rest of them.” He again changed his story, telling her she had screwed up a major police investigation. When my girlfriend attempted to ask him if he thought he had in any way abused his power as a police officer, he responded, “Do you really think that the courts will take the word of two potheads over me?” That was about all I could take. I earlier mentioned that I never pre-judge people, but in this case 1am willing to make an exception. This man has the moral and ethical development slightly below that of a two-toed Sloth. If he is indeed a cop, then he is a disgrace to the policing profession and. represents a pitiful example of what happens when power gets to someone’s head. I would advise him and people like him to find other professions where a willingness to abuse power, and use positions to condemn and intimate, wouid be ofgreater use (I don’t know, maybe he should become

a lawyer

or politician).

Finally, I was wondering what kind of “redemption” I am beyond. Whatever it is, it couldn’t be of much use coming from this vite specimen of perverted morals. An Engineer-bqwnd all’ r~demptiun and very disturbed (mme withheld by request)

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In R/lemoriam n February 28, the University of Waterloo lost: one~~f its brightest and well loved students. Jan& McCaughey of Dundas, Qntario was irr’ a tragic accident which ckkned his life+ Jamie was a second year engineering student at Waterloo and a computer whiz, &&as also actively involved at the Conrad Grebel residence. I personally knew Jamie from high school. He and X attended Highland Secondary Schaol together in k&as. Jar& was actively involved in school there ztndwas well loved by everyone. He wasone ofthose peoplewho couldtiuch and brighten other people’s lives in many different ways. Jamie is sadly missed by many but will never be forgotten. In lieu of flowers his family asks that any expressions of sympathy be sent to the Jamie McCaughey Highland Secondary Computer Award or to the Jamie McCaughey---Conrad Grebel Memorial Fund.

Food Services and their Flex Dollars P

art of the recently introduced “re-engineering” of Food Services includes closing the Village One Servery for the summer of 1997, for major renovations. Inconvenient-but certainly no crime. It will improve student life in Village One and make Faod Services more efficient. Super. Where will these villagers eat? I figure that between South Campus Hall, the Davis Centre, Brubakers, and all of the other oncampus outlets, these students can be easily convenienced. Not to mention their “flex dollnl-s.” Fkx Il&~-s is money above and beyond the $995 minimum meal plan, that can be spent at East Side Mario’s, Pizza Pizza, Casey’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, vending machines, Waterloo Taxi, Apple II Hairstylist, and the Student Health Pharmacy. Housing and Food Services has decided that letting students use ALL of their meal plan as ~‘7tj.x rnone~~ is a nice way to make up for the inconvenience of not having a cafeteria. A student could spend& their meal plan on the odd nice dinner, hair cuts, taxi cabs, late night pizza orders, and all kinds of stuff from the pharmacy. They could cook in the Village kitchenettes, and never step foot in a Food Services outlet. From a long-term business perspective this does not make a terrible amount of sense. This could be an opportunity for Food Services to introduce these students to other Food Services outlets, rather than encouraging them to leave campus. But., from a short term business perspective-this could make total sense. Let’s say there are 500 students living in Village One in the Summer of 1997. If the average meal plan opted for is the middle one (for $1,295) in a normal term, $150,000 could be spent by 500 students on off-campus purchases. Food Services receives a commission from every flex dollur spent. I am told that the exact percentage is confidential information. Understandably so. I am going to pretend that the average percentage is 13%. In an average summer, Food Services would receive $19,500 (13% of $150,000) because students used their Watcard to buy fried chicken, take cabs, etc. Now, let’s pretend that it is now summer ‘97. (Can’t you feel the summer breeze?) If the average meal plan chosen was the middle one, and all 500 students choose to spend half their meal plan off-campus, those sales would total $323,750. The commission that Food Services would receive wouldbe $42,0X+7.50! Theoretically, all 500 students could spend

ALL of their meal plan off-campus, and the commission could be as high as $87,175. For doing what? I understand that there are some costs involved with the bookkeeping of all this-and the companies who participate in this Watcard madness, should pay to play. But wow! What exactly is my beef here? 1) The money paid to have the mandatory meal plan in residence, is no longer about a meal plan. The argument a friend presents to me is that students must want to spend off-campus. Remember cash? There is no charge for using it. There is a dollar charge for offcampusflex dollar purchases. We do remember how to use cash-right? 2) The companies fortunate enough to participate in the Watcard nightmare get 500 students to present monopolistic prices to. 3) This is not very responsible in terms of a residence nutrition mandate. Is Food Services monitoring how nutritious Casey’s meals are? 4) A small meal plan holder can’t get anything refunded, and others can only have refunds for the flex dollars, but this system is not being altered for the summer ‘97 situation. If a student is not going to spend all of that money, and they have been inconvenienced by not having a cafeteria in their residence, they should at least get their money back. What should Food Services be doing about the situation in the summer of 1997? If I lived off-campus and bought a $1,295 meal plan, I could have $790 of it refunded, no questions asked. I could then pay the taxes on the remaining $500 that I didn’t spend or I could pay the taxes on the $500 and be refunded. On-campus students have no such option. I think they should give on-campus students the option to pay the taxes on any money remaining on their meal card, and be retinded for anything they don’t spend. Food Services and Housing might consider giving Villagers a smaller meal plan option, or cheaper “rent” for their troubles. I think that Food Services and the university need to think about how the huge commission profits are going to be allocated. In terms of longrange success on this campus, Food Services should be considering putting those profits toward the effoti of making the price of food on-campus lower. Food Services has a very bad reputation, especially amongst students. In my experience, it takes a lot to get students on this campus pissed about anything-and they are now pissed.

- Tricia Mum by

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can often be overheard whining about the lack of jobs in Ontario. They complain that whatever degree they managed to complete at least part of has got them nowhere. They complain that their talents are not appreciated. They have even been known to stoop so low as to suggest they do not wanf to be part of the capitalist machine. They seem somehow to be above getting a day job, finding work of any kind, even if it involves going to a mall and selling stuff. They always have a hard luck story. Well, frankly, I am sick of seeing them around, taking up space. If they thought about their lives in a mature, adult way for five seconds, they might realize that they aren’t going to be employed by Ernst and Young, or the Gl’obe and Mail, or IBM straight out of school. They might have to start a bit lower than that, although I realize it would be an affront to their dignity to do so. The economy has lots ofjob opportunities all it takes is the initiative to find them and create them for yourself. Anyway, if you are reading this and you recognize yourself here, take heed. Take up residence in a coffee shop. Or take a good long look at yourself and do something with your life. Get over your fear of the world and walk off this campus and into it! By the way, Pat Merlihan couldn’t be here to write his column this week because he is busy, with two other real-world types, getting the premiere edition of the newspaper they started to the printers. It is only a community newspaper.. .but you gotta start somewhere.

world?

The end of the ten-n is almost upon us, and for many students this set of exams will be the last of their academic career. We are leaving to do things like get jobs, go to grad school, get married, have kids. You know, Z$Z kind of things. But some people never leave. I am not talking about the people who come back to school after working for a few years, or the peopIe who get jobs with UW, or even the people who still use the library and resources on campus. I mean the people who are scared to leave. You know who I mean. They sit in the Bomber, smoking and drinking coffee. They drink a lot of beer, too, because no matter how old they are they know that “students” drink a lot and drag themselves out of bed sometime in late afternoon. The difference is that students drag themselves out ofbed to go to class. The “perpetual-student” seems instead to drag himseIf (yes, many of them are male) out of bed for... well, more of the same. The “perpetual-student” is often found hanging out in the Student Life Centre, feeling safe in the familiar environment. There are no reminders of RRSP contributions here. They can scrape together enough money to pay for coffee at the Turnkey desk like everybody else, complaining that the life of a student is one of poverty. Never mind the fact that some of them are collecting cheques from the government. The species of the “perpetual-student”

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Fortunately, attitudes have changed in Ontario, at least for a while. Now, the government can realistically think that it can gain support by taking a hard line with unions. Anyway, to get right to the point, add the Power Worker’s Union (at Ontario Hydro) to the list of unions that is bitching and moaning about the Harris government. The PCs are reviewing the option of privatizing the publicly-owned utility. The review is not yet complete. It is expected to be done in late April ofthis year. However, the Power Worker’s Union has already started a massive media campaign in an attempt to save their asses (which will presumably be canned ifprivatizationoccurs). SinceJanuary, they have been advertising on radio, TV and in newspapers, thinking that they can sway public opinion which will in turn sway the provincial government. I recently cut a huge ad out of The Globe and Mail (presumably the union seeks to sway public opin-

ion across the country). The ad lists four reasons why Ontario Hydra should not be privatized. 1. You’11 pay more for electricity. I iow does the Power Worker’s Union know this? Can they see the future? 1 think not (or they wouldn’t be wasting their time or their money). But, 1 wilt concede that electricity bills will probably go up ifprivatization occurs. Why? Because we’ll actually bc paying the rest cost of our power. Right now, Ontario customers only pay for sclnze of the cost on their Hydr-o bills, and pay for the rest through taxes collected by the government. Ontario Hydra loses money. A lot. Ever-y year. And they get bailed out by the provincial government, which gets its money from the people who are supposedly getting such a good deal on their electricity. 2. When reliability interferes with profits, guess which one suffers. In the previous reason, the ad mentioned the U.K. power situation, and they do so again here, citing the fact that power was privatized seven years ago in the U.K. and that the U.K. is “now experiencing unprecedented reliability problems.“OK, tenuous unsubstantiated link there. Regardless of the U.K. situation, if there are competing power companies and yours is unreliable, you take your business elsewhere! It is in a company’s best interests (even more so for a utility) to provide reliable service, and there is no reason why private companies wouldn’t. 3. Who will be responsible for nuclear safety? Upholding safety standards is not optional, it is the law. There is no reason why private companies would be less rigourous with their safety than Ontario Hydro is right now. And if this is a real concern, I’m pretty sure that with the money the government is going to save when they sell the bastard, they can afford to hire another inspector or two. 4.The power of Niagara Falls will no longer be owned and controlled by the people of Ontario. For some strange reason, the Power Worker’s Union seems to think ti this is the argument that is really going to wrench people’s

patriotic heart strings. They have left the best for last, and they thought to include a nice big picture of the Falls. Personally, I don’t feel that I own or control thepowerofNiagara Falls now, and that is not going to change under privatization. All that is going to change is that an company with an inclentive to be eff‘lcient will sell the electricity generated by the Falls, instead of another chronically-inefficient crown corporation. Being a reasonable man, I’m going to wait for the results of the review before making up my mind. I however, Ontario Hydra currently loses tons of money, they have a huge debt (guess who makes the intcrcst payments - you do!), and the position of Chairman of the corporation is gcncrally given ~5 a reward to rich pcoplu who supported whicheverparty won the last provincial election (not unlike the federal government giving out Senate seats). And, as a general rule, I support privatization. Companies that can make a profit are going to work harder to do that than crown corporations with no profit mandate and, subsequently, no reason to get off their asses. Quite clearl:y, the Union IS admiting that their members are good for shit. If they were actually skilled, competent workers then why would they ifear privatization so much’? Wouldn’t the workers be hired back afterwards, to do the jobs they’ve been doing for years‘? But this is not going to be the case and the Power ‘Worker’s Union knows it. The union is currently trying to increase its membership fees to raise $7.8 million to spend on the anti-prival:ization advertising campaign alone. If only they’d put as much effort into their jobs as they are putting into this campaign, we might have lnever needed to discuss privatization in the first place, P.S. to allay the fears of my diehard fans, do not despair. I am looking forward to another summer of gainful involuntary unemployment, so Whlu is John G&P will be running for the spring term, at Ieast as long as my reserves of expired bread hold out.

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April

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There”sthis farmer and he was very rich and his land produced a lucrative c:rop. And he reasoned to himself in the following way: ‘What am I going to do now since I have no place to store Jnycrops?”

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And he said to himself, “I know what I will do: I”11tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and that’s where I’ll put ail my crops and other possessions. And I will say to my soul, “Saul, you’ve: got lots of stuff stored up for many years; take ii easy, eat, drink and be merry.“” But God said tohim, “Yau fool! This night ymx soul is required of you; and who wilf. own what you have prepared?” This is what happens to those who store up lots of stuff for themselves and are not rich towards Gad.

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ForGodSo Loved The World uess what is coming up on the first weekend of April. That’s right, Easter! Why is this so important’? It is an opportunity for people to remember and reflect upon the immense sacrifice made by God for our benefit, Think about it: God was willing to give up all his heavenly power, honour, and glory, take on hum;~n fi,mm, come live on earth, and suffer pcrsc~ution. torture, and eb en death on a cross to save us, even though we are nothing in comparison to Him. Why did He do this? Did He have to’.’ No. Did we deserve or earn it? No. So why did He do it? Simply put, it was because He loved us. Let me emphasize this point. It is extremely important. It is the most important fact that you could possibly know: GOD LOVED US SO MUCH THAT HE WAS WILLING TO DIE FOR US. As John 3: 16 I7 states, “For God loved the world so much that He gave us his only son, so that everyone who

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still have, in the end, won. But they did not win. On the morning of the third day, Jesus rose from the dead. Jesus is alive! 1 repeat, JESUS IS ALIVE! He is with us every step of the way. No matter what happens, He is there for us. Now it is up to us-with God’s help, of course. We cannot possibly pay back God for what He has done fix us. Nor can we earn His blessings through good works. However, we ~‘un decide to believe in Him. The choice is ours. Jesus is knocking on the door. (Revelation 3:20) Will we open the door and let Him in, or leave Him standing on the doorstep? Will we accept the greatest gift one could possibly desire, or refuse it. Do we appreciate all that God has done for us? If so, how do we show it? Easter is a very powerful time of year. It is a time to wonder why wc allow evil to persist in this world. It is a time to reflect on how sinful and unworthy we are without God, how we cannot make it on our own,

---

It is a fact. It has happened. It is happenirng. It wiGl happen. boliules in Him may not die but have eternal life. For God did not send His son into the world to be its judge, but to be its saviour.” Wait a minute, you say, was it not Jesus who died on the cross? Yes, it was. However, Jesus was both fully human and fully divine at the same time. In other words, He w;ls both God and man. He was the word of God made flesh (John 1: I - 18). 1low is this possible? With God, anything and everything is possible. Jesus came into thl: world to live 3s humans live. He suffered the SH~C’ temptations and pressures that humans do. He was hungry, thirsty. tired. happy, and sad. In fact, He suffered things which we, God willing, icill never have to go through. I Ic endured it all so that we would not iiavc to. Through it all, though, Jesus did not sin. As Hebrews 4: IS states, “Our IIigh Priest [Jesus] is not one who cannot feel sympathy for our weaknesses. On the contrary, we have a High Priest who was tempted in e\ ery way that we are, but did not sin.” He told and showed the people of the world how they should live. His words were not empty; His life matched His actions. Unfortunately, there was, and is, still sin in the world, So Christ, though He committed no crime, allowed Himself to be anested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to one of the most horrible punishments known. That one holy sacrifice atoned for all sins-past, present, and future. Jesus’ death, however, was only part of the story. Had He simply died, then death and evil would

how we need to dedicate our lives to God. It is a time to rededicate ourselves to live as God would want us to. It is also, though, a time of great rejoicing. Christ is alive! Christ has risen! Christ has conquered! Christ will come again! It is a fact. it has happened. It is happening. It will happen. Our sins are forgiven! The slate has been wiped clean! We are new people! The world has been made new! Salvat ion will come to those who believe and trust in Him! We are free! Free f’rom hatred, viotence, intolerance, despair, want. anger, hunger, thirst, ignorance, fear, and sin! Free to live, love, laugh, learn, grow, and prosper! So rejoice, all the world! Praise the Lord young and old! Praise the Lord men and women! Praise the I-ord, all races, nations, creeds, languages, and cultures! Christ has saved us all! Sing and shout for joy! Praise the Lord! May His name be praised, and His will be done now and forever! To Him be all the glory, honour, thanks, praise, power and strength now and forever more! May He be with you and those you love today and until the end oftime! I’m no expert, but one thing is for sure: Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Amen! -Mark

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he comic strip The Parking Lot is Full has run in the Imprint foroverthreeyears and has been the focus of controversy too many times to count. “We’vealways tried to keepalow profile,” says writer Pat Spacek, “but now that our book’s coming out, we’ve decided to try to become media personatities. I figure that if we get interviewed enough, people might even forget abut the comic and start loving us instead.” Be that as it may, Imprint talked to Spacek and artist Pete Neshitt recently about everything but their new book.

he Parking Lot is Full has always attracted a certain amount of controversy, and has twice been on the verge of’ being pulled because of offended readers. Is this something you try to do, or does it just sort of happen?

Prrt:7‘hc pcuple who are offended aren’t our audience anyway. We always try to make ourselves laugh with the comics. And, of course, we’re not going to try to offend ourselves. There are just certain things that are funny for us. Pefe: II has to do with the psychology of the place Pat and I I ived in a few years ago. There were six of us crammed into a dingy, underground student apartment. and it became a forum for strangeness and creativity. Pat:Yeah, the comic came out of that. It was almost like putting together really volatile chemicals. You’re bound to get a big bang. That ties into what I was going to ask next. Where do you get your ideas? Fe/e: A common theme is to make use of symbols that are heavily imbcdded in our culture. Santa Claus. Jesus. Even Polkaroo. [ hgh] Put:Yeah, basically I get into a mode where everything is significant. You -just sort of watch TV, and these things jump out at you. It’s our culture, it’s all about consumerism and commercialism, where product recognition is bound up in the ability of the audience to instantly identify figures or people or whatever. If you see SantaClaus, you think of Coca-Cola. Everything has a kind of iconic signifi-

cance. We play with that. I mean, if you see Scooby-Doo, you just don’t think of a cartoon dog, but about your childhood, and Saturday morning, and getting up before your parents. It’s all associative. And by taking these loaded images, and kind of inverting them or twisting them around, you just get pulled in both directions when you see it. That’s why we do so many jokes about religion. Pete: Jesus is one of the oldest identifiable symbols of them all! Of course, some people don’t like us messing with their symbols. PM: But that’s too damn bad! [laughs] Pete: They’re public domain. What do you say to people who aren’t offended by the comic, but just don’t think it’s very funny? Pete: That’s a risk of any sort of humour that’s as fzr out

he funny just because we’re doing a comic strip. Think about it. There are funny comic books, and there are serious comic books. It’s just a way of getting your point across. The fact that there are broad, crazy elements doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re always trying to be completely funny. It’s interesting to me that people basically look for knockknock-style jokes because of the format we use, Pete: Well, very few comic strips sink to the level of knockknock jokes. But ours travels to a

on the edge 3s ours is. Maybe

ple are willing

opinion of your critics. Pal: Welll... Pete: Pat knows he’s treading on a minefield... Pat: [ Zaughs] Okay, obviously our humour isn’t for everyone. And it’s perfectly possible to be an intelligent person and not like our comic. But have you seen some of the letters they send? I remember one guy accused us of being “disrespectful,” as though that was necessarily a bad thing. Disrespectful! We ‘re satirists! We’re supposed to be disrespectful! Pete: And then there was somebody who claimed that we were “perpetuating the dehumanization of women.” That really hurt. We’re actually fairly sensitive to gender issues. Pat makes me draw at least as many female serial killers as male ones. [laughs] Who is your intended audi-

fun of him. [lcrcr&.sI almost as unsubstantiated and ridiculous as all those nasty bits of hate mail that the Imprint gets. I’m almost offended that a Christian can get something biblical out of our comic! Pete: I think. that to “get” the humour behind 7’he Pnrkilq Lor Is F&1, you need to be willing to do a little work. The _iokes don’t really jump right out at you. You need to consider the implications of the weird world that’s being depicted in the comic. That’s, what amuses me, anyway. What are your plans for the future of the strip? Pete: Well, one great advance was putting our strip on the Internet. Now, crazies from all over the world can have access to it. We get mail from people as far away as Australia and Japan. Put: I just gate-mail from some guy in Virginia who wants to put our comics in his Satanist newsletter. [laughs] Just think of it! Satanists!

ence?

Wouldn’t up being

A Brief History of Fear booklaunch Thursday April 4,8p.m. The Bombshel~er

five

percent will find it hilarious, and the rest just won’t get it at all. Pat:Actually, I’m amazed that anybody finds it funny. If you look at the comics carefully, you’ll see that they’re actually pretty depressing. Also, it’s interesting that people have to assume that we’re trying to

level of abstraction

where few peo-

to follow.

It’s not that

people are expecting especially simple humour, it’s that our jokes are especially complex. .. well, not complex, but abstract. Pat: Of course, that sounds pretty pretentious. It’s true, though. [laughs] It sounds as if you have a low

Put: People just like us. [ lirughs] I don’t know, Someone about our age, definitely not religious... Pete: [intermpts] On the other hand, there was that guy who said that we had done more for religion than anyone else on campus. He claimed that we humanized God by

making

Pat: That’s

that be: cool

if we ended

scared of our fans? Maybe ten years from now, we’ll have to do book signings Ibehind bulletproof glass. Maybe someone will put a reward out for our heads, and we’ll have togounderground to write our comics. [pausc~] I’d love to be Salman Rushdie..

by Jack special

grow,

the Tripper to Imprint

outhern Mexican indians called it Teananacatl, or” food oi‘the gods.” Its popular name is the magic mushroom. It has been used for many centuries both in North s America and Europe, and has been linked to religious rites and t’vt-n ttw\rlcrhl to ht- tht* h:jl;i< of‘wme relipions hecause of its propc’rties as a hallucinogenic drug. There is evidence that Viking berserkers used mushrooms for the strength and stamina needed tcl fight ferociously. The mushrooms that the Vikings used hc)wtSver, contain a different drug, muscarine, than the psilucybin found in the much more commonly used psilocybe mushrooms. Psilocybin is chemically related to D-lysergic acid dimcthylamide (LSD aka acid), a synthetic dr vented in tht: 1930s. LSD being a very potent dr the avcr;lge dose of psylocybin is 100 time! more than that of LSD, but the effects are very similar, only somewhat less intense; it’s like “acid lite.” A ‘trip’ on mushrooms lasts three to six hours, roughly a third of‘thc time of a typical acid trip. During a trip, a person’s emotions ;Ind selt’ sense arc aff&ted, with many people getting giggly and finding a lot oi Iliings hilarious. Along with the emotional ct’fects, a person can have halluci‘Ii nations (depending on the amount taken) f such ;IS vis;uA distortions of reality, see: ing colours or geometric shapes as well as-patterns both with eyes open or shut. rI phenomenon called syncsthesia can bc experienced, whcrc one ofyour senses t

- V I .

, ,

. . . & ,

b”’

. , ,

. , _

- . . -

- - . , - L .

_ I .

- - . . .

- - . - D

- - . -

- - - - - - -

- -

- - -

if you are not careful by sterilizing everything first. The first step is obtaining spores. There are two ways to get spores sent to you; either by a sporeprint, which is just spores on a piece of paper, or in a syringe filled with water and spores. Syringes are more sterile to use than sporeprints and can be bought from many places, one of which is Hemp BC (305-2 L Water street, Vancc~l~/~r around thirtv dollars. The type of mushroom that Hemp IX (and most other mail order places) sell spores for, is Psilocybe Cubensis which is an amazonian strain that is mold-resistant, grows at a wide range of temperatures and has one of the higher - - ~

~ ~ -

~ ~ ~

- ~ ~ ~ ~

* l

shrooms are growing. The jars are placed in the pressure cooker with some water, the lid put on, and the whole thing put on the stove on high. When the rocker on the pressure cooker starts to rock, the cooker is teft on the stove for a full hour, then removed from the heat. The pressure cooker and jars are left to cool, without opening the cooker lid for sterility’s sake. When the jars reach room temperature, a draft-free inoculating area, along with your hands, are sprayed with Lysol or 10% bleach/90% water, to kill bacteria and mold. The lids are moved to the side slightly after being taken out of the pressure cooker, just enough to insert the syringe and squirt some water/spores into the jars, then the tids should be closed (still put on backward$ as quickly as possible. The same Procedure would he followed for the case

<% * ’

the paper into the jars with a sterilized (by heating with a flame) knife. That’s it, not much more to do. The jars are them left to grow, in a warm place. Hopefully white fluffy areas will start to grow where the spores are. flllffv

ftllff

ir; r:~llrd

mvrt.bli;r

which

ic thP pnIliv:1-

._._---- :mnther -..-__.-. sense* -_-.._~-, “I . can --*. see --- the ---:If‘fi:r:t<

music!“, as Lisa Simpson said. All in all, the effects are very subjective and vary considerably from person to person, and it usually ends up being a very unique and interesting experience. ‘t3ad trips’ arc relatively uncommon and happen when a person gets disoriented by the effects of the drug and gets worried or scared. Since shrooms affect a person’s emotions more than other drugs, they should be taken when a person is relaxed and ready to accept the effects ofthe drug, not, for example, to relax after

The jars can bc opened up, the shrooms picked and left in a dry, warm place dry to

;T,‘.

rb $\ 7 :.I ” @

a bad day.

Psilocybe

mushrooms grow throughand many parts of the world; there ;Ire about 75 species of mushrooms that have psilocybin ;‘n them. They are legal if they xe growing on your property natuj . rally, but not if you are purposely growing them to eat. The spores, however are legal to buy, sell, and own, both in Canada and the US, and thcrc arc quite a few companies that sell spores and mushr~lom kits which claim that they contain all that is needed tbr growing shrooms. There are as many methods of grooving sh&ms as there are spores in a cap (a helluva lot), soml: of‘them are simpler and more reliable than others. It generally is not worth the extra money spent on a kit, rather than just the spores themsdvt=s, since the methods used in the kits tire usually complicated and unreliable. You might think that mushrooms are as easy to grow as a plant, just spread the spores on some compost and wait till they pop up, but that has next to no chance of working. The simplest, quickest, and most reliable way is actually to grow them in jars of rice, which requires an initial investment of about $150. Reliability is important is because there are a lot of competitive spores in the air, waiting to ruin your shroom growing plans, such as bread mold and other bacteria which take over the growing medium before the mushroom spores

out Canada

contents of psilocybin than the other varieties of shrooms. Also needed are some 500 ml mason jars (found in hardware stores), brown rice, and a pressure cooker. The pressure cooker sterilizes everything by raising the temperature to I 20 degrees Celsius, killing all of the mold spores and bacteria in the rice and jars, allowing the shroom spores to grow. There arc different sizes of pressure cookers, the standard one costing about forty dollars can process 4 jars at a time, while there are some that can process up to 18 jars at a time which can cost one hundred and forty dollars. Brown rice and water is put into the mason jars at a ratio of about 1: 1.4; 1OOml rice to 190ml water is just about right, too much water just produces mush. The mason jar lids are put on backwards, in order not to have a complete seal. This allows carbon dioxide to leave the jars later on, when the

growing, new jars can be inoculated with a piece of fresh1 shrooms or a piece of mycelia from a jar itself, rather than the spores themselves, provided the same sterile procedure is used. Dosage is not really a problem since it is not possible to ovcrdosc on shrooms, or even acid for that matter. With more shrooms taken, more hallucinations and a slightly longer trip can be expected, but

for what you are getting into first, so as not to have a bad trip. A typical dose is one dried gram (usually $10 on the street). Happy adventures, everyone.

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Miller, Wynne, LeRov: Oh bov! d

by Ryan Imprint

“Presenter” staff

Pyette

ast Friday night, the stars came out. And those who shone the brightest during the 199596 campaign were honourcd at thr: Thirtyfifth annual Athletic Banquet at Fed Hall. The festivities, although dominated by individual perfomlanccs and hardware, highlighted the success Waterloo athletics experienced this year. Hanging behind the stage were the fruits of Iabour: four Ontario championship banners courtesy of Athena Field Hockey, Warrior Hockey, and Warrior and Athena Curling. As every athlete knows, being part of a winning team means more than any individual honour can cvur mean. However, the Totzke Trophy and the Iiildegard Marsden Trophy are pretty special. Due to an incredibly competitive field of athIetes, the decision-makers had their work cutout for them, moreso than thtl p~‘oplc who pick the Oscars. For the ‘I’otzke, awarded to the top m;~lc athlute, the Department totA fhc trq>hy, splii it in half, and gave equal parls to both John Wyrltx, Warrior hockey captain, and Jcf‘f Miller, Wtiterloo’s prize pdc vmdter. It was, although tics suck fhc bag, 3 vety deserving decision. To pick one over the other would be denying the truth: they both arc the best. Miller, simply put, is the best

pole vaulter in the country at his level. He won the CIAO championship this year for the second consecutivc year with a vault of 5.15 metres at the nationals in Windsor earlier this month. He formerly represented Canada at the junior Pan Am Games and the Commonwealth Games, and has set his sights on the Olympic triaIs held in June. Miller is also a Mechanical Engineering student in his spare time. Wynne, simply put, is the best hockey player in the country at his level (now you know why there was a tie!). The veteran dcfenceman led the Warriors in scoring and plus/ minus this season, and after Watorloo’s success in reaching the Final Four Canadian championships three weeks ago, was awarded the JS, Sullivan Award, given to the best university hockey player in Canada. Wynne, who puts the team ahead of all his individual goals, had his career year in 199596, leading the underdog Warriors to the Queen’s Cup Ontario title and the CIAU championship game against Acadia. On the female side of things., Judith LeRoy, the sleek runner, received the 1 lildcgard Marsden Award, emblematic of the Univcrsily of Waterloo’s top female athlete. LeRoy, a cor-npelitor in both cross-country and Lraek ;Ind ficld since 1993,was an Academic AIICanadian for two consecutive years and is now studying Optomelry. Judith, In lY96, was an Ontario All-Star in cross county and a

second team All-Canadian. In track, LeRoy ranked in the top seven in four events (the 1OOOm, the 1500m, the 3000m, and the 4x400m relay). She bronzed in the 1500m at the OWIAA finals, and qualified to compete at the CIAU championships in three events, finishing fourth in the 3000m. Judith was also Athlete of the Week almost every other week during the year. The other major award winners included the Feds Rookie of the Year won by Peter Brearley (hockey) and John Milne (swimming) for the Warriors. The Athena sideofthe fabulous freshman award went to Amy Adair (field hockey) and Lindy Lob (badminton). The vaunted Imprint Coach of the Year Award recipient was Warrior hockey coach DonMcKee, the skipper of the Ontario champions and national finalists. McKee beat out CIAU field hockey Coach of the Year Sharon Creelman, dualOntario champion curling coach Bill Tschirhart, and rookie Warrior volleyball coach Tony Martins. Kara Rice, the keen swimmer, won the Director’s Award for contribution to women’s athletics due to her pool prowess and work on the Athletic Advisory Council. Peter Brown, longtime writeri sports editor/editor/game announcer, won the J.O. Hemphill Award recognizing his outstanding contributions to UW athletics. Peter follows a long list of tuminarits, including the incomparable Rich Nichol, in receiving the honoured award. As far as team awards go, each of the members of the four Ontario championship outfits received plaques. Also, every AH-0ntarion and All-Canadian was recognized with a nice plaque, too. For the numbers-inclined, Waterloo athletics claimed 34 OUAA and OWIAA all-stars, and there were eight All-Canadians. Kotes from the Bar: Athena volleyball coach Dena Deglau headed up the masters of ceremonies duties, and did a wonderf‘ul job... The banner contest pitted the Rowing and Nordic Skiing teams in a fierce, crowd-decided contest, with the outcome narrowly favouring the artistic Skiing display.. . The Department of Athletics named a new Athena basketball coach to replace the outgoing Kathy Kears. The new skipper is Tom O’Brien, last year’s interim coach at Wilfrid Laurier (but, hey, we’ll forgive him if he wins!). Tom led the Lady Hawks to the playoffs, as well as an unbelievable win over Waterloo in double-overtime at the PAC that may well have knocked the Athenas out of playoff

Don McKee, Warrior hockey the Year, receives his trophy

coach and the Imprint Coach of from a very dashing young man.

contention.

Finally. A new, up-to-date picture of Athena and Marsden Trophy winner Judith IxRoy

Award

Winners

Totzke

Trophy

(Tap A&de Athtetg) Jeff Miller -Track and John Wynne-Hockey

Hildegard Judith

Field

Marsden (Top -Track

LeRoy

super-runner in the paper.

Female and

Federation Male Rookie

Trophy

Athide) Field & Cross-Country

of Students of the Year

Peter Brearley-Hockey John

Milne--Swimming

Federation of Students Female Rookie uf tha Yaar Amy Adsir---Field Lindy

Xmprint

Coach Don

Hockey

Loh-Badminton

the

Yealr

McKw-Hockey

Before

that, Tom coached at St. David’s highschool in Waterloo and is a fixture in the KW basketball community. UW athletic director Judy McCrae says, “Tom’s experience is rich and long. We are excited... He is an outstanding teacher, recruiter, and motivator.”

Award

Director’s Kara

&Q.

Rice

Heqphill

930~nf0wn”

AwsrcZ Peter

Brown

IMPRINT,

SPORTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

‘95-96: The year in sports by the

Imprint

sports

team

n the run-up to the hockey Warriors surge at the national title less than a month ago, Globe and Mail columnist Robert MacLeod called the University of Waterloo athletics program “championship challenged.” Others in the popular media wrote and spoke of similar sentiments, wasting no expense painting Waterloo as a campus of math geeks with slide rulers and pocket protectors, not athletes. These reminders came as bitter pills; Waterloo may score bigwith Mudean’s academic rankings, but for the size of the campus, the reality remains that we just don’t have a lot of trophies and championships to show off. For all that, the 1995-96 varsity athletics year was an exceptional one for Waterloo. Four Ontario team titles alone were proof of that. Throw in some near misses, including one in the national hockey final, and a terrific number of individual awards at both the provincial and national levels, and future prospects for UW start to look extremely rosy.

But for now, it’s time to reflect The Warrior football team broke training camp in late summer with great hopes. Returning was the formidible backfield duo of Mi kc Malott and Jarrett Smith, and one of the best defences in the league. After a tight home-opening loss to the defending Vanier Cup champion Western Mustangs, the Warriors then departed for the comparatively weak Windsor Lancers. In a shocker, the Lancers ran the tar out of Waterloo, amassing over 500 yards in total offence. At O-2, the Warriors playoff hopes lookeddim, but they bounced back with an impressive 27- I9 road victory over theToronto Blues, then peeled off successive victories over McMaster and Guelph, before getting ready to meet the Number One ranked team in the country: crosstown rivals Lauricr. The opening-season pair of losses was by now a distant memory, and Waterloo took the game to the Golden Hawks, beating them in nearly every facet and taking a I5point lead late into the game. Rut the Warriors tightened and allowed Lautier to tie the game. At the game’s conclusion Waterloo came close to pulling the victory off, but had to settle for a tie. Going into the game a tie with the nation’s topranked team would have been admirable, but the Warriors left the field feeling that they’d let a golden opportunity slip away. Their following game was with the upstart York Yeomen. TheYeomen had been the whipping boys of OUAA football for half-a-decade, notching nary a win in that tenure, but in ‘95 they broke the string and came into Waterloo riding a 3-game win streak. The Warriors were likewise riding their own 4-game unbeaten streak, and at 3-Z 1 appeared to have their playoff destiny before them. Waterloo controlled affairs for the game’s first half, but allowed York to get back into the game and capitalize on some crucial Warrior errors. Momentum swung and Waterloo was denied; York won 21-14. At 3 wins, 3 losses, and 1 tie, the Jekyll and I Hyde football Warriors bussed to Guelph knowing that anything less than victory meant it was time to hit the golf Iirks. Waterloo responded in style, putting

on the year that was... together their most complete team victory of the season. Malott and Smith led the way in a ground attack that rumbled for over400 yards. The final score of 37- 19 actually flattered Guelph, and the dominating victory led Waterloo into the playoffs. It was also Warrior head coachDave”Tuffy”Knight’s 137th victory, tying him with Bishop’s Bruce Coulter for 1 st on the alltime CIALJ career victory list. The ensuing playoff loss in London against the Western Mustangs was one for the ages, and it wasn’t one Waterloo fans will ever want to remember. Alas, for the Warrior players and fans who attended, it’s a game that none will ever forget, a game that will live in infamy. In the regular season’s homeopener, Waterloo proved that they could compete with the defending champs and their age-old nemesis. If ever there was a Mustang team that was beatable, then this was it. It didn’t hurt that a strong showing against Laurier and a crushing victory over Guelph a week earlier had confidence running high. The confidence carried over into the game. After a phenomenal Xast-second defensive effort, Waterloo stopped Western on the one-yard line at the half-time whistle and led 14-3. On the third quarter’s first play from the line of scrimmage, Warrior quarterback Ryan Wilkinson scampered for a stunning 8% yard TD and Waterloo was running out to a commanding 21-3 lead. tnexplicabiy, the Warriors smelled victory, and the smell seemed to hamstring them. They simply couldn’t put any first-downs together and use the clock; the only other scoring they’d make on the day was a single 1 -point touchback. Western clawed back into it; some unbelievably lucky plays, including immaculate receptions and all the rest of it, led any who dared watch to conclude that fate was on the side of the hometown Mustangs. Trailing

22- 16 with

sec-

onds to play, Mustang QB Warren Goldie completed a 10 yard TD passto tie the game. A conversion clinched it. The resulting bedlam provided one of the more surreal scenes in recent Warrior memory. All was not lost on the individual honours, however.

Warrior

puckstopper

Joltin’

Joe Harris

adjusts

his cup.

The

Queen’s

Cup,

that

is.

Capping off their successful university careers, John and Justin Shoniker became the first brother duo to be named to the same AllCanadian team in the history of the CIAU. Football MVP. Mike Malott and tailback Jarrett Smith combined to become the best backfield tandem in the CKJAA this season. Both

leader in 1996. On the other side of the ball, defensive co-ordinator Chris Triantafilou once again had his troops in top form. His defensive backs led the team with nine interceptions as Shawn Dyson was named an All-Canadian. Linebacker Jason Van Gee1 had another stellar

in 1996. The Warrior Rugby team, after a pronnising pre-season and high expectations coming out of Division II, sputtered along all year, showing flashes of brilliance coupled with head-scratching results. After a close: opening home match with defending champion Queen’s,

Malott

season gaining

Waterloo

and Smith finished

the sea-

son ranked in the top ten for rushing with Smith gaining over 1000 yards for the first time in his career. Sophomore Quarterback Ryan Wilkinson stepped up in the second half of the season to lead the Warriors, impressing in his first year of CIAU action. He will no doubt be a

CNJAA

All-Star

and

All-Canadian honours in only his second season with the Warriors. Alongside Van Gee1 was pass rush specialist Kevin Pressburger who had the honour of scoring the only defensive touchdown in 1995. Pressburger will once again be a key veteran on the Warriors defense

went on to compile

a I-S-

1 record, winning their final contest against York 28- 13. Pending division realignment, the Warriors face relegation once again to Division II, where they can hone their skills against the weaker Continued

to page 28

1-p---_

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Fridaly, March 29, 1996

1995-96: Year in Review

. When he’s not answering Campus Questions, Super-Mano Watsa was All World on the basketball court. The Stoudamire-like point guard led the Warriors all season and was rewarded with multiple tournament MVP and All Star team selections.

Head coach Dave “Tuffy” Knight confers with QB’s Wilkie and Danno: to Smith or Malott.” A win over Guelph on the last game of the regular Warriors into the playoffs and brought the Tuffster level as the all-time Canadian varsity football history.

Continued

Flanker J. P. Rosevear prepares the usually strong rugby Warriors

to get munched. got munched

This a lot.

season,

from

page 27

teams in the league. A major bright light for the Warriors was Dale Finlay, the AllOntario prop,who also performed the majority of the point-kicking for the squad. The Athena ruggers completed the first of their two year lobby for membership in the female Ontario conference. Basically, the team played exhibitions against major Ontario rugby powers in order to receive a feeler for the level

of competition in which they will play, and finished a promising twoand-two. In soccer, both clubs were in obvious rebuilding seasons, residing in the cellar for most ofthe year. The Warriors only won one contest out of twelve, but it was a damn exciting one against playoff-bound Brock over at Columbia, and the Athenas didn’t win, but did have the best lookin’ prospects for the future! Midfielder Margaret Gory earned an All-Ontario selection. In cross-country, the stories

“GO and hand it off season catapulted the winningest coach in

of the year were the performances of Athena Judith LeRoy and Warrior Jason “the Jaguar” Gregoire. LeRoy continued to climb the ladder to national stardom, making second

team

All-Canadian.

“The

Jag” grabbed the OWAA crown to cap his courageous career at UW. LeRoy retains another year of eligibility, where Waterloo running fans are looking for her to become the female Jaguar. Maybe someone will call her “the Cougar.” In the racquet sports, both the badminton andsquash squads fell

IMPRINT,

SPORTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

The winners, the losers

A highlight of the athletics season was the Warriors’ nordics in Big Thunder. Climie, Daniels and Frenette time.

Surging throughout volleybaIlers were Western Mustangs just short of medalling.

the regular season, the Warrior inexplicably disposed of by the dreaded in the first round of the post-season.

In Warrior squash, Luke Fraser, an All-Ontario first team selection, led the Black and Gold to a fifth place finish by racquet-attacking McGill 4-2. In badminton, Craig Smith and Lindy Lob were the highlight names throughout a strong pair of regular season Crossovers and Sectionals. Howcvcr, neither team managed to medal at the OUANOW 1,4A championships in mid-February. Loh, a seventeen year old rookie, managed to enjoy the UW Athena Rookie of the Year award. In tennis, rookie Warrior David Markin impressed with a record of 5-2 and won a silver medal at the OUAA singles championships. 1Ie wasalso named an OUAA All Star. ThcAthena field hockey team provided the excitement of the Fall term, claiming the Ontario title by snuffing out perennial powers Toronto and York. In the regular season, the Black and Gold proved their worthiness, finishing 12-2-2 in second spot behind the seemingly invincible 16-O Toronto Lady I3lues, and in front of the 12-3-l York Yeowomen. The Athenas allowed a stingy nine goals in the sixteen regu tar season contests, while piling up forty biscuits. Toronto, in comparison, had a goals for-goals against ratio of 78-3. All-Ontario selections were

abundant for the field hockeyers, with rookie midfielders Amy Adair and Michelle Lo, coupled with defenders Sara Creighton and Lana Good, all making first team, and goaltender Yolanda “the Shutout Queen” Lewczuk blockading her way to the second team. In the Ontario championship ;it Lamport Field in the waning days of October, the Athcnas received a bye and set up to play the winner of York-Queen’s. The Yeowomen hrokc through, but then ran up against the defensive, disciplined acumen of the Waterloo Athenas, The Waterloo-ites battled to a 2-0 win to set up a Sunday afternoon date with themighty Toronto Blues. Oddsmakers hanging around outside tamport Stadium gave Toronto three-to-one odds, but the good money would have been on the Creelman-coached A’s. Waterloo’s defensive game neutralized Toronto’s powerful offence, leading to a 2-O win, and Ontario supremacy. Until this year, no other school besides Toronto and York had ever claimed the Ontario banner. In the CIAU championships, the Athenas fell to the UK Thunderbirds and the UNB Varsity Reds, before leaping to fifth in the nation by ousting York again, this time in sudden death double-ovcr-

Sharon Creelman was named CIAU coach of the year, and Amy Adair played herself onto the AllCanadian first team. Michelle Lo followed as a second team member. All in all, the Athenas revolutionized the sport this season, proving that the game doesn’t revolve around haughty Metro. We have our own stars here, too. In Athena figure skating, the UW women grabbed a bronze medal on the strength of their performance at the OWIAA championships in London, placing thirteen points ahead of the nearest competition, Guelph and Brock. Jill Thomson dazzled onlookers with her third straight Open Singles event, and teamed up with ten other skaters to capture the Precisioncrown. Other notable “Lovely b-ladies” were Alison Ritchie, Sharlcne Slater, and Laura Vipond. In what was supposed to be a rebuilding year under rookie head coach Tony Martins, the Warrior volleyballers posted an impressive II-3 record during the regular season. Although they lost a heartbreaker to a hot Western team in the semi-finals, the team can be proud of this season. After the loss of several key starters and their head coach, the Black Plague infected many a team with their swarming offence and deadly defence. Coach Martins was named OUAA West Coach of the Year while outside hitters Matt Reed and Kent Prete were named first and second team All-Stars respectively. For the second year in a row, the Athena Volleyball team’s season goal was to be one of four team’s participating in the end-ofseason playoffs. And, for the second year in a row, the team came within inches of reaching this goal. Instead, as the season approached its close, the team seemed to lose

strong were

performances the ‘A’ team.

confidence despite great strides in developing their talent and cohesiveness. The team matured this year and the season saw new players getting CON time. Defensive, offensive and serving techniques improved significantly among all players. The Athenas lack only in consistency, and it is improvement in this area that will lead them to the playoffs next season.

Cover Luckily,

al: the provincial

The Wamrior basketballers were like a trip to Canada’s Wonderland this year. A strong preseason indicalted a promising regular season for the Warrior cagers, but two quick. losses to Lakehead ar the “Thunderdome” put them into an O-2 hole to start the season. A subsequent narrow win over Laurier Continued

boy Matt Arkett practices his best Eric Cantona. the soccer midfielder never had to use it.

to page 30

--____c

-__ ---,.

SPORTS

IMPRINT, Friday, March 29, 1996

1995-96: Year in Review

A crucial, heartbreaking double-overtime defeat at the hands of Laurier was all she wrote for the Athena basketball team’s playoff hopes. Jacalyn White was a season-long bright spot.

Eleven more seconds; that’s all the Warriors defensive back Shawn Dyson can only bury collapse versus the Western Mustangs. Continued

from

page 29

in OT was starting to spell disaster. However, the Warriors steadily improved all season and made a strong playoff run to finish sixth in the OUAA West. In the final game of the regular season, though, they were administered a shellacking by the Guelph Gryphons, their firstround playoff opponent. Things were not looking up. However, the Warriors went into Guelph’s house, and upset them to advance to the Wild

West came within

The athlete they named an animal Gregoire. The Jag dominated-repeat, OUAA cross country season.

after:

Jason “the dominated-

Jaguar” the

Shootout where they a Mano Watsa miss at

the buzzer of advancing to the finals. Watsa, who played impressively as the Warriors’ floor general all season, was voted as a second team OUAA West All-Star. The Athena cagers experienced a lot of growing pains during

needed. his head

Up by 18 points after a devastating

the 1495-96 season. Losing three team members during the season didn’t help the cause, either. Perhaps the defining game for this year’s edition happened in the PAC against Laurier. On television. The Battle of Waterloo. The Athenas, leading throughout, lost in disheartening fashion in double-overtime to the Lady Hawks, a lethal blow to the Athenas’ post-season plans. As it turned out, the A’s ended up falling excruciatingly short of the playoffs, and said good-bye to power forward Lori Kraemer. Next year, the club, with a new coach in Tom O’Brien, looks promising, as budding star Jacalyn White goes

inside, while the three guard rotation of Lapthorne, Steele, and Hawley control the perimeter. This year’s curling rinks had their most successhl season in over

and cruising, last-second

All Star playoff

a decade.

Both teams hurried hard of the Ontario crowns for the first double win in recent memory. Skips Jalmes Bromiley and Susan Fraud played cooler than the pebbled ice that they curled on under the pressure in leading their rinks to respective 5-O records. Coach Bill Tschirhart will be leaving UW next year to coach the AustralianNational Teams and will be sorely missed. The swimming team had many successful individuals this season,

to earn a sweep

sending two swimmers to the CIAU Championshipsandachievingmore personal bests than the number of

droplets of water in an Olympicsized swimming pool. The team was led by the award-winning duo of Kara Rice and John Milne who swam wonderfully all year en route

IMPRINT,

SPORTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

The highs, the lows

ECcrnice Willemsc winds up for a cannonading Athena field hockey team stunned the world the OWIAA championship,

to the nationals. Amy Jarvis also swam well, but other commitments prevented her from attending the nationals. John swam so well at the CIAU’s that he qualified for the Olympic trials. After a year of rewriting the UW record books, the team looks forward to next season. The rowing team competed admirably throughout the season’s regattas. Blessed with a young squad of strong rowers who wiil only become better, the future looks to be close at hand. The track and field season saw a plethora ofpersonal bests and prominent individual successes. Judith LeRoy was the force on the Athenas, while Jeff Miller captained the strong Warrior entry to a respectable team point total. Miller, in fact, won his second straight CIAU pole vault title to add to the cause. Meanwhile, the Jag racked up a pair of silver medals in the 1500 and 3000m. One of the surprise highlights of the athletic calendar this year was the big showing of the Nordic ski team. Racing in the provincial championships at Big Thunder in Thunder Bay, a course the Waterloo team had never even seen prior. The Warriors finished 2nd overall in the team competition, with David Climie and Steve Daniels capturing bronze medals in individual hon-

slapshot. The and laid claim to

ours. Climie, Daniels and Brent Curry were all named OUAA All Stars. The Athenas finished a credible sixth in their end of the provincials. The low point of the Warrior hockey season actually took place just this week, three weeks after the National championships. Pumped up for a season-ending hockeyplaying vacation in sunny Mexico, the Warriors found... well, that they weren’t going to Mexico. The Mexican sponsors unceremoniously cancelled the tournament, and the Warriors were left feeling like kids who received Christmas gifts, and the parents took the boxes away, laughingly taunting,“Oh, I’m sorry. Those aren’t for you!” As it stands, considering the luck the Black and Gold had this year concerning motor vehicles, maybe it was best they cashed in their plane tickets. I mean, a broken zamboni, eighteen zillion faulty buses. Looks like a plane may have been next on the list. For the season, the Warriors became the most successful and entertaining team on campus, riding a wave of flawless, dominant play right to the doorstep of the national title. The Warriors started out the season with captain John Wynne and coach Don McKee shooting for a playoff berth. Start-

The Duke. Captain John Wynne led the Warrior pucksters to a national final the CIAU Player of the Year. Wynne is captured here at Maple Leaf Gardens his last ever game of an extraordinary career in a Warrior uniform. ing off 2-4, the Warriors looked as if they would battle Windsor for second place in the Far West division, behind the contemptible Mustangs and ahead of the inept Golden Hawks. Little by little, the Warrior team blossomed like a spring flower, winning game after game after game after,.. you get the picture. Waterloo finished their last twenty regular season games 19- 1, with the turning point of the season coming in January where the Warriors easily handted the division-leading Westelm Mustangs. Along the way, Waterloo head coach Don McKee, in his eleventh season, passed the all-time Warrior hockey record for coaching wins in a career. John Wynne, the all-Canadian defenceman, led the Warriors in scoring by amassing 46 regular season points and a whopping plus 35

ranking. Rookie Peter Brearley chipped in 42 points, and he’ll only get better. Third-year defenceman Mark Cardiff joined Wynne and Mike Chambers as a member of the All-Ontario team, and Chambers also won the Ontario instalment of the Randy Gregg Award for academics, athletics, and community involvement. In the playoffs, Waterloo watched Windsor wallop Western in a one-game elimination. In turn, the Warriors swept Windsor two straight for the division title. At Waterloo Kec Complex for the CKJAA final four championship the following weekend, Waterloo drew Laurentian in the semifinal game that would determine who would advance to the National semi-final. The Warriors dusted off the Voyageurs 4- 1 and encountered UQTR les Patriotes in the Ontario

and was named during the final,

Queen’s Gulp final. Dressing less than their full roster, les Patrio,tes received a well -deserved licking fi=om the Warriors, 5-l. It marked the first Ontario title for Waterloo since 1974. At the Nationals, Waterloo continued their winning ways, busting up the Calgary Dinosaurs 5-2 at Toronto’s Varsity Arena in front of 3500 spectators. A day later in the national title game at Maple Leaf Gardens, Acadia jumped out to a 30 lead and the Warriors, playing better in the last five minutes than they did the -whole game, fell a goal short, succumbing to the Axemen, 3-2.

All in all, the Warriors singlehandedly electrified the campus with their continual winning, and put themselves in a position to win a lot more, and more often in the coming seasons.

SPORTS

Loose

Balls

byAz&ewHendersum Impfw stzlff A marks one of the great rituals of sport: baseball’s opening day. The big league parks are as clean as the slate and everyone has the same chance, in theory, of making it to the big showdown in October. It is the time of year for optimism and thinking of the future, and today, I’d like to do a bit of both. On the optimistic front, the Toronto Blue Jays had a few pleasant surprises this spring. On the top of that list was the young second baseman Fe1 i pe Crespo. Through to Tuesday, Crespo was hitting a whopping ,453, fourth in the AL (perennial hitting machine Wade Boggs of the Yankees was fifth). On top of that, the kid has power and good speed. The second baseman’s job had been Domingo Cedeno’s to lose, but it looks like he may have lost it. The only consolation for Cedeno may be that Crespo has not impressed the Jays with his defencc. We may see a platoon at second. .4nother bright light on offence came from catcher turned outfielder tumcd sometimes first baseman, Carlos Delgado. Delgado is third in the AL in home runs (6) and is tied for second in RBBI (20). And remember that’s through 74 at bats. In a full season that projects to around 47 tIK and 157 RBI! Of course, no one expects De&ado to bc able to maintain such torrid hitting, but do not bc surprised if Joe Carter gets unseated as local home run king this season. And let’s not forget third baseman Ed Sprague. Sprague’s numbers (.390,5 b IR, 18 RR1 ) are ccrlainly nothing to sneeze at either. Rut befix calling for play00 tickets, remember this: if these two started off well and then slumped, it would not be the first time for either of them. On the mound, there have been two reasons for hope. With a tidy

onday

3.00 ERA and roughly a strikeout every two innings, pitcher Jeff Ware may finally be ready for a spot in the rotation. This is especially good news since other starting candidates, Paul Quantrill and Frank Viola, have been less than stellar. At the other end of the staff, Blue Jay veteran Mike Timlin has made an impressive bid for the closer’s role. Timlin’s posted a minuscule 0.75 ERA with 13 strikeouts in 12 innings (9 appearances) and only 2 walks. The lack of a closer has been one of the Jays biggest problems in recent years, and if Timlin is finally ready, fans may have much more to cheer about than most people imagine. But if all this rosy optimism is getting to you, how about some cold reality: the Jays will not contend in the AL East this season. They’ll show promise, they’ll be periodically exciting, but they just won’t win that many games. Which brings me to my predictions, Every baseball writer has to make them, though every baseball writer knows that way too much can happen in 162 games to know for sure. But here it goes. The AL East will go to the Baltimore Orioles. Under the leadership of Pat Gillick, the O’s have piIed on talent like whipped cream on summer strawberries. It will be sweet at Camden Yards: pitching1 defence, speed, power. They have it all. The AL Central is an even surer thing than the East. It’s really a race to see what comes next to the Cleveland Indians. The Tribe was the best team in baseball - better than the Braves, I think -- last year, and they’ve only gotten better in the off season. In the West, I like the Seattle Mariners. They won the division last year without the league’s best player, Ken Griffey Jr, and Junior

showed in the playoffs that his broken wrist had not hurt his powerful swing a bit. The Angels will fight hard, but in the end, I think the M’s will take it. As for the AL wild card, it’s anyone’s guess. The Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees and California Angels will al1 be in it. I don’t like the Sox, too much to go wrong there with the aging Clemens, the inconsistent Wakefield, the temperamental Canseco and the like. The Yanks fate will depend largely on the health of pitcher Jimmy Key and second baseman Tony Femandez. I’ll take the Angels. The NL has some tougher calls but the East will doubtlessly (hey, what happened to “anything can happen”) go to the Atlanta Braves. Atlanta won the World Series even without top notch performances from hitters like Marquis Grissom and David Justice. If Atlanta’s bats rebound this season, no une will even get close. In the Central, I take the retooled St. Louis Cardinals. Tony Larussa may be the best manager in the game and, after struggling with the rebuilding Athletics, is hungry for a pennant. The addition of hard hitting outfielders like Ron Gant and hard throwing pitchers like Andy Benes won’t hurt either. In the West, I like the Colorado Rockies. I know the Los Angeles Dodgers are probably a better team, but Colorado has a ton of hsart, matched only by a ton of power at the plate. A well-timed trade for a top pitcher might even take themgast the pow&%1 Braves. Wild card? Dodgers. So there it is. When October rolls around I may have to eat my words. But until then, I’m going to relax in the splendour of opening day. Play ball!

s the l+4HL playoffs

ap-

Fan staff

s this term rounds out to a close, summer awaits. Putting aside the annoyances of getting a job, making sure I have enough money to come back here in the hII, I can’t wait to get out to the Skydome a couple of times. Sure, tho Jays may suck, and we may get thumped every single game, there’s actually a lot more to going to the games than just the action itself. First off, no trip to the Skydome would be complete without stop-

ping at my favorite chip truck, Don Juan’s. As anyone who’s been on Front Street on a Saturday afternoon will attest to, the entire length of the street in front of-the Metro Convention Centre is nothing but chip trucks. What makes Don Juan’s special? It could be the way Ire harasses

the woman

walking

by, it could be the way he uses his bare hands to ladle out burning hot french fries, or it could be that he seems personally offended if you don’t have the works on your sausage. So, if you happen to making the trek to T.O. this summer, look for the one truck with the line run-

will miracuktwly appear, and the successofthis smalfmarket franchise will initiate the movement af large-ma&et based teams such as the Los Aq@s $&gs, New York Rangers and the Pittsburgh Penguins tcr move to A1Iiston, Ontario, Des, Moines, Iowa, and Mudlick, Kentuckyreqxctivcly.

Despite a sok~ recwd since NickB~~~~~y~k~~~~onM~h MI, the Maple Leafs wilt con-

Wrestling’s P r&ssicmat Superbowl, so to speak,ties place un Sunday

night.

Wrestle-

ma.&, an event that has continued un an aMId basis fur the

tinue to slide down the conference standings and finish in 7th

past twelve

pface in the Western confereIg*

reitivety swccess~l celebtity’s endorsements, and a showcrtse of the latest in ‘hype originates a~ of the: Pond in Anaheim and will be seen universally through the magic ofpay per view. The price is about twenty dollars less than a Tyson fight, and there are many fights that you know the Outcome of prior to viewing the match, ratier than just one. For my hype buying dollars, would much rathersee someone stufTed in a cof’5n or bashed over the head with a guitar than some referee looking for the quickest way to stop the systematic murder ofeach af Trotl Mike’s unfortunate opponents. But that’s just me. . .

Their

opponents

will, of course,

be the Colorado Avalanche Ia a six game war, the L&S wit1 upset the ex-Quebecers, and ride the wave at1 the way to the conference Finals, where they will lose a seven game series t.0 the unstoppable Detroit Red Wings. The St. Louis Blues will finish 4th in the west, and slug it out with the Calgary FIames. Clitics of Hull and Gretzky will be silanced as the duo lead the Blues to a sweep of tie hot aud cald Flames. The Red Machine will then crush them, causing the critits to regain theti gift of speech, The Anaheim Mighty Ducks will edge out the Edmonton Uilers and the Winnipeg (Phoenix)

Jets (Sand-Sucking Scorpions) for the final p@~off spot, They will be swept by the Wings and outscored 74-3 in the four game series. The Hartford Whalers will make an incredible last minute nm for the last playoffsput, and clinch it on the final day of the regular season. They will win their opening round series so convincingly, that all the other teams in the East will step aside and let the mighty Whale though TV the Cup finals. There, the foolishly unaffected Red Wings will vainly attempt to shut down Brendan Shall&an and campany, but, to no avail. The Whalers Stanley Cup victory willbegin an unprecedented string of Stanley Cup victories tasting for thirty

consecutive years, The money to

by The Imprint

Frida;y, March 29, 1996

IMPRINT,

clears, an event

that

never INs td attract a number of

can’t remember the last time that I looked forward to the start of the Major League Baseball season. With all of the recent strikes and labour disputes, it seems like an eternity ago when Joe Carter belted that fateful homcrun in the final game of the World Series. Merely a vision, the fond remembrance of George Bell’s catch that sent his club to the post-season for the first time, and his oh so tearful comment, “1 should be MVP!” Remember WAMCO, the Terminator, the Dave Winfiefld vs. the Seagutt incident and other on the field phenomena? Perhaps the 1996 season wi 11

bring us fonder memories than theprevious two campaigns have. I’m not holding my breath though,

ning ten people deep. It’s a bit of a wait, but you’ll thank me for it. Second, a trip to the Skydome wouldn’t be complete without being harassed by ticket scalpers every step of the way. Personally, 1 hate scalpers. Not for any moral reason, like they deprive good solid fans of

scalpers are dying just to make any money off the tickets. The key is to never buy tickets from a scalper until the game has started. I really wish that the city of Toronto would institute a plan similar to the one currently in place in Phoenix. To avoid the hassles of people accosted by scalpers while trying to get to a game, and to avoid trying to outlaw it all together, Phoenix police dedicated an area about 5 meters square, roped off, as the only place scalping is legal. As a result, fans can now simply walk into the area and yell out what they

their tickets. 1t would solve the hassles for the fans, allowing us to get good seats at a decent price, and to avoid the annoyance of the streetcorner scalper. That said, here are my quick predictions for the upcoming baseball season: AL East: New York Yankees AL Central: Cleveland Indians AL West: California Angels AL Wild Card: Baltimore Orioles NL East: Atlanta Braves NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals NL West: Los Angeles Dodgers NL Wildcard: Colorado Rockies

reasonably

want,

World

priced

tickets

(although

they do), but because they’re like a plague of locusts descended upon the city. However, that’s not to say that they can’t be beat. For 1:35 games, if you show up at around 2:00, you can get seats right behind the dugout for cost, maybe even less. After all, by that time, the

and play

scalpers

against

one

another until they get a price they like. Early returns show that fans are clearly getting the better deal in thiscase. A scenario like that would be ideal for Toronto. I think that Toronto’s finest should rope off an area on Front Street and that would be the only place scalpers could sell

Rockies And dictions da’s two Toronto

Scrics;

Cleveland

over

in 6 games. of course, here’s my preas to the records of Canateams. Bluie Jays: 78-84

Montreal

Expos:

One Guzman’s

last prediction, Juan final record : 8-14.

75-87

UW: Dynasty by Ryan

Pgette

ImpIsnt

staE

The

powerhouse

alsu boasts

titles and a Laurier

earfy ‘$Os, and the Oilers folbwtig right after that, Now, in the Campus Ret ball hockey league, there are two dynasties in both the “A” and “B” leagues played at the Coiumb,ia IceFields gym. One, the “A” division wianing Thrown Together, has been terrorizing the UW gyms for quite a while, and the other team, the Wiggum Chiefs of “B”* division prowess, is 8 relative newcomer to the world-beater role. Thrown Together, with an aging cast, added their fifth. straight divisional title Monday night after destroying The Upstarts 9-2. Before the five straight titles, Thrown Together also spent 8 term winning the “C” division, and the next one claiming the “3” league.

by Heidi Marr special to Imprint

s we head into finals, the competitive CR leagues are in their final stages too. The volleyball season wrapped up on Tuesday, March 19, with victories in the A,B, and women’s leagues. The women’s league had a dominant team all season and it came down to the crunch in their second game of the match, but Kaboom came out on top aschamps. The finalists were NDC Saints, The final game in the A league proved how competitive this league

by Heidi

Mart

ell, another term is winding down and finals are upon us. The idea of studying “sooner or later” is no longer an option because now is later and our exams are sooner than we dare think, Relieve the pressure by diving into the PAC pool and swimming some lengths. Practice your dives in the deep end, or just tread water for fun. Remember fun? Yeah, it’s one of the reasons you came to university. Why don’t you sweat your stress goodbye in a fitness class?

win.

cainpus for a few more terms, a~ curding to veteran goalscorer Warrefl Games, “We”11 still stay together next term @unnxr), and hqefulfy, ~IIC

players will be back far oext year,” Games

calculates.

As for the younger,

newer dynasty, the Wiggum Chiefs make up for their fewer titles by beating Thrown Together at blowing their own horn. Twenty-six year old veteran defenceman S&ve &rich a&&s, “If they’ve (the other team) gotten by us once, they’ll never be stupid enough to try it twice ‘CQS we’re the Wiggum Wak” All-Weasel forward Darren Zink puts the entire situation in perspective. ‘*We”re unstoppable; combined with solid goaltending, our “IY’ is too massive, our offence

take

is. Jumbo Shrimp came out on top against Sexual Chocolates 16- 14 in a close match. The winners are defending champs from the winter season too. Jennifer Schacht, convener, said “among the mass chaos of whistles blowing, people yelling, and balls flying emerged three Bleague champion teams.” In Bl, North A took top spot with Motisor’s as finalists. South D-Men are champs in B2 and Arirang Net are finalists. And in H3, the champs are FYSH with You Just Don’t Worry About That going home as finalists.

Fit

special to Imprint

tournament

What’s Left $0 accomplish for this team of tams? ,Well, keep&g the boys together and around ‘the

Winner

Stay

twd,

straightIJW outdoor tuurnament

amous dynasties have, for a long time now, bcukuted hockey. The Canadiens of the late ‘7Us, the Islanders af the

on the exercise

equip-

ment. Hit the courts for some racquet sports, Don’t forget that the Waterloo Tennis Club is open to UW students. We can play great free tennis there by booking ahead of time. Don’t cram so much into your

smashing

success

is too patent, and our team &emistry is unmatched. W&G the Oikrsof the ’80s withmoredepth.

xll;‘sho&jGng to fa&’

”

The WiggumChiefskn~ked

off their cousin rtames&e, tie 8-6 to claim their sccand straight divisional title, They

Wighams,

have also lost anfy ane game in the kst three terms. The only question that remains now is “Will. tie two suprpuwers meet?’ Wiggum captain Sanjay Krishnan warned, *‘We’ll kick their ass.” Stay tuned. R&d N&es: ‘I% championship Winter term raster for Thrown Together is Rene Vandenboom, RussTupting,&mes, Scott Bruce and Mitch Oakland. The Wiggum Chiefs are Krishnan, Zink, Cur&h, Adriana carota, John Wall, Jgson Hayter, Brad Parsons, Ryan Pyette, Mike White, and Steve Good-acre, The other division winners this week we= XSCIV Sobs (B2), Individual 2 (B3), Chug (B4), and Bush pilots (C).

by Nllchelle special to

Jennifer said “thanks to all the referees for your hard work and hope to see you all out next season!” In the Ice Hockey Playoffs, the first round of games were completed with relatively few upsets. The final games were still under way at time of printing so there are great match-ups yet. Cam Gillespie, convener, said “thanks to all the teams for a smooth-running and enjoyable term of hockey.” Convenor De Ann Durrer sends her “congratulations to all teams - hope to see you on the courts next term.”

Robtison

Imprint

he Campus Recreation Tennis Tournament concluded this past weekend. Seventeen people participated in the twoday event held at the Waterloo Tennis Club. On the previous Sunday, March 17th, the participants played in a round robin challenge, with the top players in each division advancing to the play-off rounds March 24th. The Advanced division was won by Tom Watkins, after he narrowly defeated Frederic Rontard. The Intermediate Division was divided into two pools; Brent Remai defeated Chris Zuercher to advance to the Intermediate Finals in the first pool. In the second pool of the Intermediate division, Chris Whytocklost toTom Khanis. The final match in the Intermediate Division between Brent

Remai and Tom Khanis was a close match, with Tdm Khanis winning in the end. All1 the winners in finals won prizes donated by Campus Recreation and Black Knight racquets. The grand prize winner in the Advanced Division won a Black Knight racquet bag, and in the Intermediate Division, won a Black Knight sweatshirt. In addition, Campus Recreation donated prizes for draws throughout the toumament. Congratulations to the winners and all the players who participated, and thanks to the staff at the Waterloo Tennis Club for their assistance. Thank you also to Black Knight and Campus Recreation for the donation of the great prizes. And, thanks to Chris for the Great Ping-Pong Challenge. Finally, a special thank you to the convener of the tournament, Gita Bose for all of her hard work. Good luck to all the participants and hope to see you next time.

Leaderofthe

all!

with

The UW fitness instructors do not abandon us in our time of need. Even though they’re busy too, they take time out to instruct special exam fitness classes daily. Check out the schedules posted in the PAC for times and make sure to join in the aerobic fun. The weight room is a good place to alleviate some stress. Challenge yourself

L#ui~?! ,c

PAC r

CR! brain your and finals

that you neglect the rest of body. Remember to stay fit stay active throughout your and the summer too. If you’re going to be around town this summer and want to join a CR club or take an instructional program, remember that registration is early. If you’re going to be working elsewhere, don’t forget to exercise regularly. Follow a workout routine and make fitness part of an active lifestyle, If you’ve been promising yourself that you’ll get in shape for summer, I hate to break it to you but summer’s almost here. Let Campus Ret help you achieve the level of fitness you desire.

Even

during

by Jane special

photo

ops, Michelle

Varley to Imprint

ampus Recreation would like to congratulate Michelle Robinson, the recipient of the first Campus Recreation Leadership Award. The

award

is to recognize

individual who has demonstrated outstanding leadership in his/her contributions to the Campus Recreation program. Michelle has made numerous contributions to the CR program in her role as Tournament Coordinator including sponsorship develop-

provides

support,

ment, strong leadership for the tournament conveners, creation of a strong promotional campaign, and consistently striving to provide better tournaments. Michelle did an excellent job of representing UW at the Canadian Intramural Recreation Association

post-necondary

student

con-

ference this term as well as being a volunteer participant in the Protest and Conduct Appeals process. Michelle’s enthusiasm, dedication, and strong leadership to the Campus Recreation program are appreciated by all who deal with her.

The WeddingPresent wl Butterglory Weducsday, March Lee ‘s Palace

by Sandy Atwal Imprint staff ne can aimostunderstand 1the terminally inane adherence to fashion evident in most British bands today, and the press that reviews them. From The Beatles to Bowie to The Sex Pistols to new wave, a wide variety ofnonmusical accoutrements including fashion and attitude have always

by Dave Imprint

Fisher staff

s if the chance to see the Wedding Present in the intimite confines of Lee’s Palace wasn’t enticing enough, the first-ever Toronto appearance of support act Butterglory made it even more so. The Kansas-cum-California outfit is currently touring in support of their second full-length album c1r.r You &iii&g u Ta+ p/r ir! Heuven? Part Pavement, part Wedding Present, the album has recognizable intonations all over the place, but such is the strength ofthe songwriting that the imitations become superfluous. To these ears, Butterglory’s latest is already one of the year’s best albums. Many observers unfami I iar with the band’s music Wednesday wzre critical of the apparent

been an intrinsic element ofpopular music. Unfortunately, it seems like a strong fashion sense has moved from being but a part of British music to the primary fimction of every new band. ‘The blatant thievery of Oasis is gladly ignored because they are, after all, good lads. Despite the fact that the wannabe football chant “Wond~nvall” is ON ofthe most inane songs everpenned, they enjoy widespread popularity due to the rock’n’roll antics of the Gallagher brothers. Thankfully, bands like the Wedding Present are still around.

lifelessness on stage. It’s true-beyond co-leader Debby Vander Wall’s riveting beauty, Butterglory sorely lacks a visual dynamic. Lead guitarist and singer Matt Suggs looks like a nerdy college boy (think of Ernie in MI) Three Sons) which doesn’t exactly endear the indie rockers to those in the crowd looking fur a little sexuality. All the same, the performances were exemplary. Standouts from the latest were “On Button On, ” “Edward Brown,” “Rivers,” and “She’s Got the Akshun!” If the band can only iron out their inherent shyness, J predict a big future. The vocals could do with a little polish live, but on record it’s all there, With talent like this and the presence of Vander Wall, Tunight Show appearances can only be a stone’s throw away.

Immune to the waxing and waning of popular opinion and outside what the NME and Melody Maker try to decree as cool, (iedge and Co. (an appropriate term - he’s the only original member) drive ahead with a simple, clear-minded agenda: making good music - an idea lost on the assholes parading as bands these days. Despite the fact that they’re one of only a handful of bands to move from an independent label through two major labels and back to an independent, they persevere by worrying about the next song and not the next trend. They provided not a little evidence of this last week as they showcased their latest releaseMini, along with some of their other most recent material, all of which was invigorated by a new line up. This incarnation of the Weddoes saw bassist-turned-guitarist Darren Belk and Gedge backed by an remarkably commanding rhythm section. New bassist Jayne Lackey provided a somewhat understated bass, but also some welcome backing vocals - a rarity on a Wedding Present album and a virtual nonentity in a live context. Behind this trio were two drum kits; the brilliantly timed, manic pounding of Simon Smith, who on album is aided by Hugh Kelly, but at this concert was supported by none other than Butterglory’s Debbie Vander Wall. The band started with the first of three brand new tracks, “Dreamworld.“A slower.. *dreamy song, it seemed clear that this was Gedge’s calm before the storm, and indeed the group immediately ripped into “Drive” and “Go Man Go” fromMini. It was evident right away that the Mini tracks were going to receive some shrewd and serious reworking. Although a fairly serious Wedding Present fan myself, 1 wasn’t impressed with Mini the first few times around. It’s a good release, but seemed to lack the speed and power of earlier albums. At its best moments it managed to come up to par with some of ‘94’s Warusi, but that’s not saying much. However, Mini was slowly growing on me, but not until this show did the songs really shine and prove themselves Weddoes-worthy. Faste louder and with more passior vocals, some ofMini’s songs, e:! cially “Mercury,” “Lovemachine” and “Sportscar” (some of that EP’s slower songs) were actually among the highlights of the show. Unfortunately, Gedge didn’t quite push the songs far enough. Their last concert topromotew&usi benefitted from some wonderfully persistent VU-type jams that helped songs like “Catwoman” out wonderfully.

The

Wedding

Present-

This time around, Gedge barely wavered from the three-and-a-half to four minute versions. Sure you always want to leave the crowd wanting more, but considering that they ploughed through 18 songs in just over an hour and further considering the fact that the band doesn’t do encores, longer songs would’ve been nice.

Of the two other new songs that were included in the setlist, “Real Thing” and “Snake Eyes” it was the latter that received the most crowd gratitude. A rollicking number, it foreshadowed a return to the blazing guitars of yesteryear a much appreciated throwback. If the concert had one universally recognized highlight it was the

than

just

a Dalliance.

return of “My Favourite Dress” --a single originally released in ‘87. The rest of the concert ventured back no further than Sczumonstcrs (totally ignoring the breakthrough Bimrro and its brilliant “Brassneck” much to the crowd’s dis,pleasure) thus making “Dress” all the more special. If the crowd had any doubts that many ofthe band’s songs could e benefiltted from some proged treatment, they were asJaged by the set closer, “Flying Saucer” from ’92s flit Parade. One of the Wedding Present’s finest moments from that year’s twelve singles it was Ipushed to its extreme, with Gedge drawing every last ounce of power from his guitar to finish the show on a vieorous note.

nossible. and thev’rc stronger fo; it. By tacking agajnst the sezhf that surrounds them, the Wedding Present will always be more interesting than most. At the= sanx time, this philusophy applies to their live shows as well as their albums. If their material doesn’t thrill you on CD, you should have your head checked, but if you can’t afford a psychiatrist, check them out their live show - it’s a more than worthy addition to their recorded oeuvre.

ARTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

IMPRINT,

This play is witchin’

“This

never

would

have

happened

The Crucible diruc*tc>d i$ Da&w Sr,cncer Thcut~-~ sf’tht> ,4 i-t37 playing Friday March 29 & Saturday March 30 by Greg Imprint

Picken staff

here’s nothing greater than religion run amok. Whether it be the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition or the Salem Witch trials, history and literature have

in Kitchener!” given us more than substantial reathe very basis of faith. One of the writers to point this out most eloquently was American playright Arthur Miiler, in his drama Ttte Crucible. ln their final show of the semester, the U W Drama Department has presented a riveting rendition of The Crucible. It is well produced, the acting is high-quality and the mood produced by the play is cold and frightening. The actors and actresses deson to question

Canadian AC/DC S/iydomtJ Saturday March by Alexander

Imprint

Havrlant

staff

rior to the band coming onstage the video screen featured MTV’s famous Beavis and Butthead knocking on AC/DC’s stage room door trying to pick up the chicks going in to join the band. While this venture was totally unsuccessful the lights were dimmed and the two hour performance from one of rock’s biggest acts began with a giant demolition ball smashing a pillared structure on stage and the band making their presence on stage known by the smashing cords of their 1980 superhit “Back In Black.” This was followed quickly with another of their megahits “Thunderstruck” as the third song and AC/DC were thus quickly able to get a sell-out Skydome stadium crowd of 25,000 standing, which was to remain standing throughout

serve to be highly praised for their tight ensemble work. None of the actors stood out too far from the crowd, and in this performancti, it seemed appropriate. The actors played off each other wel!, dnd though some lines seemed occasionally overdone or forced, it was a fairly seamless production. There were some outstanding performances, including Tom Leslie as the rather Canadian-sounding Gil& Corey, Danielle Ament as the chilling Abigail Williams and Calvin Sweers as the stories almost-hero, John Proctor. Alkan Emin as Judge Hawthorne was very effective, as I think everyone in the audience hated him by the end. One thing that struck me as odd from the very beginning was that Jim DiGioia, in the role of Reverend Parris, bears more than a slight resemblance to Star Trek’s Commander Riker. Eerie, but true. Fortunately, Jim’s acting is far superior to the aforementioned officer. Another strong factor in this production was the ambience. In between the acts, as well as before the show, the theatre was filled with a haunting, low-key instrumental tune. It helped to set up an eerie, supernatural mood as soon as you walked in the theatre. The stage was very simple, very plain, occupied at most points by only benches or chairs. The starkness of the stage didn’t detract from the dialogue, and enhanced the bleak feeling behind the words. The volunteers on both sides of the stage have, over the past three months, put together a solid production, capturing the viewers interests, and holding them fixated on the stage until the final fadeout. While this was the first UW Drama production I’ve been to, if this is indicative of the quality, I’11 definitly be back for more productions next year.

OPENS TONIGHT!

Ffitky rt 9pn& 5&u&y It S&y ot 9:1op, Montiay 1 hedry ot 7prst Wblkesduy al 9: lop, llwdoy rt 9:34

CONCERT LISTINGS

Thighs

the show, pumping their fists into the air to the heavy beats. It was lead guitarist Angus Young and lead vocalist, make that screecher, Brian Johnson that provided most of the stunts and entertainment on the evening. The most memorable was when the 38 year old Angus went into his concert patented striptease routine seven songs into concert. While decked out in his trademark schoolboy outfit of blue velvet culots, matching jacket, white shirt and diagonally striped tie, he pulled off the layers until only his shorts, shoes and white socks remained. Then with his back to the sell-out crowd he yanked down his shorts to reveal the AC/ DC logo emblazoned on his boxers. He then moved over to the centre stage and proceeded to offer the crowd a ‘full moon’ spectacle. Far from being through AnLm paraded through the audience on the shoulders of a bodyguard while still playing his licks as the mad crowd tried to grab a piece of his action, He also hopped around the stage in his distinctive frog hop

during “You Shook Me All Night Long” and “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” and “Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution.” While the guitar and rhythm section mainly stood in the background and maintained the loud noise that was emanating from all the speakers possible, Brian, not wanting to be outdone by Angus, dangled from a giant bell during “Hells Bells” and the demolition ball for their new tune “Ballbreaker” of their new album of the same name. All of this while playing to the crowd from one side ofthe stage to the other. Wrapping the show up the encore featured six cannons, which were rolled out for the monstrous concluding song “For Those About To Rock (We Salute You).” The artillery went off in time to the tune by providing no end of booming bangs and brilliant flashes. With this show AC/DC reasserted themselves as masters of the stadium rock show, confirmed by this loud high energy blast of if performance.

and much much more to come! ‘tickets available it Fed Office and HMV-Waterloo*

all shows produced Bent & the of Students

----

Alimonv

Secretly, John

John

btwistle

and

his tmss

w/Ldgar

hate

Winter

I,uh ‘s Saturday March

by Eddie Butt special to Imprint

was no instrument 3mashing probably due to the f;lct that Pete Townshend was notoriously absent but, the former bassist for The Who, John Entwistle, gave a lackluster performance for a smattering of people Lit Lulu’s this weekend. His poor attitude dominated the show with such comments as, “We wouldn’t act~~nlly be ha-e, if it wasn’t for my first divorce” and “God, do 1 hate this sung,” My interpretation was that they weren’t a flavour of the wacky Urltish humour but rather genuine disdain for the audience. Entwistle methodically moved hurt:

IMPRINT,

through material ti-om old Who albums such as “Had l31ough” and “The Real Mc,” showing none of the energy and stage presence his h-mer bandmates ‘I’ownshcnd and Roger D&y cxhibitod years ago when The Who were the loudest, craziest band alive. It is hard to know what to expect at a show where part of the rhythm section of a band you truly enjoy makes his foray into the solo world. I think most people (myself included) expected him to relive better days by sticking to proven songs from the vast Who repertoire. He gave us the exact opposite and before last call. The sound for the entire act was terrible with all instruments, including Entwistle’s bass, combining to create a low drone. I much preferred the opening cover band and their renditions ofold AC/DC and Thin Lizzy songs.

Nestled in between the openin,g act and the so-called headliner, 1Sdgar Wrnter stuie the show. He pro/tided an entrrtainmg mix ofsongs and styles. He opended with a catchy original called “Rock and Roll Boogie Woogic Blurs” and followed it up with a cover of a songentitled “Lite Act”. From there he moved seam&sly into a funky rendition of’ James Brown’s “Sex Machine.” You haven’t lived until you’ve seen an Albino man Gth long golden hair in his fifties, dressed in black from neck to foot shake his hips like he started Motown Records. His guitarist, whose name: I unfortunately didn’t catch, plowed through an amazing instrumental complete with Eddie Van Halen finger tapping that went from blues “Free Ride” and to classical “Frankenstein.” The latter stretched out to at least 20 minutes with Edgar moving from keyboards to soulful sax that had a jazzy, big band feel to it. The encore consistedof a blues number called “Tobacco Road”:hat spotlighted Edgar’s incredible voice. He visited a nu*mber of octavesutilizingdeep blues, the standard rock wail and even an emotional gospel virbrato. It complemented his earlier blues number dedicated to his brother Johnny. In a night filled with one too many drum solos, Edgar Winter cntcrt:ained the audience immensely. You should definitely check him out sometime. Unfortunately, John Entwistile gave further proof to the premise that Pete Townshend and Roger Paltry were the only geniuses behind the bygone successes of The Who.

Rosie versus the Volcano. treble charger, Mystery Machine, and The Mighty Fiskrmen Yokwlo Thursday March 21 by Melissa Dietrich fmprint staff

OLY FUCKlNG PEOPLE BATMAN! !!! Apparently half the population of Kitchener-Waterfoo (under the age of 19) heard about the

show and decided to attend. f got to the Volcano

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Friday, March 29, 1996 --

Tenth grade love

rock

other.

each

ARTS

-----II

Studentr

by 830 and there

were already people forming a line in front of the door. By 8130 there was a line-up that managed to stretch a11the way around the corner and past huxx City. Finally after waiting for almost two hours and having every single body part completely frozen, they decided to upen the doors and

one time attempting (key word) to soar up high above the crowd.

Speaking; about the crowd, by this time there was no longer any room to move in the Volcano at all, the entire joint was full of adoring little treble charger groupies. I stood at the very front, which at the beginning seemed to be a good idea. However, as soon, as treble charger started their set 1 began to regret that decision. WI, almost a week after the concert my body is bruised from the continuous beatings I got from the crowd and the stage.Ifyou missedthe show and wanted to capture the true essence of the it, just imagine dose to five hundred people crowded into a small venue, no oxygen at all, and gallons of sweat dripping

from every single person in the Volcano. However,

treble charger was

start the show, First band up was The Mighty Fishermen. Must did not even get to see this band because they were still getting in the door. But, hey that’s o.k. because they really didn’t miss much anyway. As usual, The Mighty Fishermen were not that impressive, but what do you expect -they are only an opening band+ Second band up was Mystery Machine th;bt definitely added some life to the place. About half way throu@ their set everyone that was in line at the beginning were finally inside. Although I had heard not much from Mys-

generous enough to bring large quantities of water out with them

reafIy

ple got knocked unconscious by the foot of a stupid body surfer. One thing that I did learn that night tiough, wifs the fact t?iitt treble charger might be getting toobig for a small venue like the

tery Machine previously, X was impressed

by their music

and the way they can handle a large crowd. Thr: final. baml uf the night, the one and only reasun most people went to the show and the remon why I am writing this review was, treble charger. The crowd went even more nuts then they were before. People started body surfing, sometimes they were between six and seven at

and occasionally showered the over-heated crowd with it. As far its what the band played that night, it was a mix of old and new stuff. Which included mast of their weli known songs like ‘*Red” aud the more recent hit for them “Even Gable”, It was also refreshing to here sume new stuff from them, although like the move from NC17 to se/f=tit/e their new stuff is not really that new. But, hey if peupie tie the kind o:fmusic they’re dishing out now, then why change it,

Overall, it was a good show, ignoring the lkct that many peo-

Volcano. Disappo.int ingfy, after seeing treble charger three times previously, I would have to say that they have had more impressive shows.

IMPRINT,

ARTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

Wreaking

‘Havoc Everywhere

Malhavoc w/Race VdCU?W Friday March 22 by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

hen iI comes to hxd and loud music. some places h~c all the luck. Looking for death metal? Look to Scandin;hvi;l. If’ it’s punk you want, the place to go used to be England. Now that c~ryone across the octxn is burned out or dtxl, punk abounds in a most generic form in4de small arerl of California. Canada, rneamvhilc, isthc hr,rnutr>Isl)nfcOf’tht: world’s best industrial music, including D.H.I., Numb, H, the sadly defunct Skinny Puppy, and Malhr~~. Not bad [or ;L country whose ~trree biggest musical exports are currenrly Shania Twain, Celine Don, and The Sellout Formerly Known As Alanis. The Volcano was packed yet again for the appearance of Toronto’s very strange metal/industrial practitioners, MalhJvoc. Starting the show was Hamilton’s Race, who arc one of the best opening bands I’ve seen yet. The sound was excellent - strong metal hooks accompanied by a reggae/rap vocal. A great choice for opener, not loo much like Malhavoc. but similar enough to get the crowd in the right mood. The dreadlocked lead c;inger, somewhat under the influence of !he noblest weed, flailed wildly while dclivcring occGonally incoherent raps on the subjects of marijuana, racism, and the police. Some of the subjects may be trite in a day

Not just

havoc

MALHAVOC!!!

where every rap band is out to demonstrate their social sensibilities, but the world can never have too many anti-racism songs. On the other hand, the singer pointed out that as long as there have to be bands preaching onstage, there’s something wrong with the world. There was an annoying hour-long wait between sets, made endurable only by the DJ

spinning some excellent experimental and industrial music. When Malhavoc finally did hit the stage, it took the audience by surprise - their DAT intro sounded like another industrial tune. Every speaker was cranked, the dance floor was packed, and Malhavoc hit the stage playing. No introduction, no plug for the new album, no messages. Just an hour of solid music, painfully hard guitar

riffs, fast and strong beats changing every few bars tn keep the crowd captive, and the severly distorted vocals of MC JC. I was kind of disappointed in the behaviour of lead singer James Cavalluzzo’s alter ego ~ after years of stories about nudity, swinging from rafters, and other onstage antics, MC JC spent most of the shoti with his f’xe to a monitor and his bxk to the audience. Most of’ t he material N as ni*w, presumably from Malhuvoc’s brand-new ~~~WIJ.Y Chipi~x. Their earlier songs. heai,ily dependent 0n synthesizers and sampling. were difficulr to tmnsport to 3 live salting, a pruhltm that resulted in Ihe metal/indu~triaI fusion of’thit’ 1904 alhurn(;u~nclrrln. When MAhavoc finally let into a song from Gcjt DO\IJM, “Relieve,” Steve Jelliman’s guitar stopped working.. The rest of‘ the band continued, unwilling to put a break in the spell that their music cast. Like the best live acts, Malhavoc come across onstage not as musicians, but as channcls for music. There seems to be it veil between performer and audience through which the sound permeates, a sound that is more than its components of drums, bass, guitars and DAT beats. It sounds very arcane, but such is the nature of industrial music creating a sonic image out of noise and sweat.

Adam LOVES Sesame Street...

And He Dosen’tCare Who Knows It! by Adam Evans Imprint staff an you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? Well, lastsaturday it was just off of Front Street in Toronto. I had the pleasure of escorting my three-year-old niece, Michaela, to the 0’ Keefe Centre to see Big 13ird, Oscar, Qovcr, and the entire crew in the production of S’usarnt, Slreclt Live: Wllcr~ I Grow Up. Ok, Ok, I admit it. It was my idea...! needed sOmeOne under three feet tall to give me an excuse to go. As 1 entered the theatre, 1 traded looks of “Sigh...here we are, wading through the crowds so the kids can sitjc Big Bird...” with parents, aunts, uncles, and older brothers and sisters all toting various sizes of excitable youngsters. Lurking behind that look, however, was the insuppressible thrill of the five-year-old, the kid in us all. As the lightsdimmed and music started, more adults than children were singing along. ‘The gang from 123 Sesame Street were putting on a pageant about what they all wanted to be when they grew up. Of course, Big Bird could not decide, and spent the cntirc: two horn-s in a conundrum over his future. The musical scores included “Cow“I Love boy El mu,” “ltsy Bilsy Spider,” Tras h”(sung by Oscar, of course), and “Cookie’s Drive-In” (which included ‘Shakes, Burgers, and Fries’ to the tune of “Shake,

Rattle, and Roll”). Sesame Street has even become PC with a number called, “Women Can Be.” Through it all, our large yellow friend cannot see himself in any of the careers his colleagues have chosen, and Elmo wants to do them all. What’s a muppet to do? In classic childrens-television fashion, Big Bird finds support from his friends, and decides on a vocation for the pageant. Predictable, yes, but it makes you feel good just the same. Some of the characters have changed since I was a kid. Prairie Dawn, Telly Monster, Rosita, Roxy, and Elmo are ail new to me. It was good to see all the classics still around, though: Cookie Monster, The Count, Grover, Oscar, Bert and Ernie (Still wearing the same yellow and orange shirts), and Big Bird. The program even gave a brief bio of some of the characters, including birthdate, saris year. Elmo, I learned, is an aspiring journalist, wanting to be both MacNeil and Lehrer when he gets older. It goes without saying that it was an excellent performance,enjoyed by everyone, leaving you all warm and fuzzy. You could even overlook the $7 you would have to pay to get the ‘C)fficial’ Sesame Street CoIoring Book. If you ever getthechaqce to see it, go. Even if you can’t beg, borrow, or steal a child to accompany you, it is well worth the trip, and I’m sure everyone will understand. Michaela will not soon forget her trip to Sesame Street, and neither will I. We all still need a little Big Bird every once in a while. This article has been brought to you by the number 12 and the letter ‘Q.’

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Mini

Deutchland Drama

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Die GaIas how Hugey Hd, Rm 373 Thursday March 21 to Saturday March 23

by Darren Emerson special to Imprint

by Greg hprixlt

Shoot-em-up video games are a timehonoured tradition dating back to when I was Unlike eight and played Space Invaders. KPGs or other sorts of involved wastes of time, shoot-em-ups are fantastically brief and mindless wastes of time, perfect for taking breaks from writing stupid things like essays. Anyway inJr)hlrny Bazoakatnnv you are this little fluorescent rock star with shades and pink hair (yes I’m serious) and your mission is to rescue your prime collectible guitar. Af’tL’r ti cheesy opening video, you are launched into a world of zombies and killer frogs, and you machine gun them down &i&h your guitar. There’s also the big super death ray thilt is produced by windmilling on your instrument in true Townshendisn fashion. It looks alright, but the overwhealming problem is the sheer frustration of having to play levels over and over again. There is a continue function, but it’s one of those deals where you have to play for ages before you pass ;1 continuation point. Thus the sheer uphill slog of having to play levels over rind over and over again is just not worth il. Games like this can be done so much better.

Sometimes an idea can look good on paper, but in practice it turns out to be a flop. Then there’s ideas that look bad on paper, and in practice actually turn out to be signifigantly worse. Such is the case with Winning Post, one of the worst excuses for entertainment I’ve ever seen for any sort of video game system. Who could have possibly thought this concept would be exciting? You are the owner of a stable of horses. You hire a trainer, examine the racing papers to determine horses to bet on, talk to other owners about horse racing blah blah blah. Things pick up marginally at the end of each turn, when you get to go to the races. race. You then get to bet on them, and watch them gallop around a track. And...that’s, like, it. You don’t control the horses, there’s no action of any kind other than to examine racing forms or whatever. Boy that’s fun. The graphics are abyssmal, most of the time looking like they belong on a l&bit system. The music is insufferably bad, it’s not at ;JJ user friendly, and really I can’t tell you any more because I bored myself to tears before I had played more than a half an hour. What a piece of shit.

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as gibt es bier. ‘?3? . Love, murder, and a host of bizarre characters gather to wreak havoc on a German television benefit telethon. That was the scene when UW’s German Drama Group performed Die Galashow, the group’s fourth annual production. Die Galashow was a collaborative effort between Canadian UW student Kathleen Rehberg and Eike Baurnfeind, a student from Germany who is currently studying at UW. The pair both wrote and directed the play, and acted in it as well. The cast and crew were made up a wide assortment of UW students andafewexchangestudentsfromMannheim, Germany - all volunteers, with a few notso-volunteers. The plot of the show revolves around a live benefit program being produced for German television. The benefit is for P.R.E-S.T.1.G.E e-V., a group dedicated to eliminating those annoying people who crinkle, crunch and cough during theatre shows.

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The show is being prod.uced by Canadian Mabel O’Leefe and hosted by washed-up German star Ernst Frijhlich. Other characters include the flighty psychiatrist Dr. Honoria C. Habil, Ernst’s assistants Otto and Lieschen, and the renowned critic Gottlieb Wendehals. When Wendehals rejects Lieschen’s romantic advances and blackmails Mabel and l-labil, it is only natural that he will turn up dead. Enter delusional detective Reiner Schniiffler. When he’s, not trying to get detective tips from Agatha Christie, he’s accusing everyone in sight. Events get more twisted and weird until tlhey reach their surprise climax, the reappearance of a verymuch-alive Wendehals. Along with the twisted plot, Die Gulashow featured a disruption by protestors, some rather fractured versions of The Blue Danube and The Snund elf MKsI’L’, and a hilarious sword fight between Habil and a rather improbable old lady - their weapons being a baton and an umbrella. There was also a good amount of audience participation. Despite having to rehearse in the Iimiting confines of the German Reading Room in Modem Languages, the cast did a remarkable job. A fun time was had by cast, crew and audience alike.

Con-Stern-nat~Lon 1 +

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diieu gameJunkie contingent would like tu thank Microplay Videa Gumes,lo&ted at 133 WeberSt, North Waterlui+ fur ths ssfware.

The ImpriMs /

by Reiner Deckname special to Imprint

. . , . . . . . . . . . . X I .

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IMPRINT, Friday, IMarch 29,1996 --

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Miss America by Hc?wm-d StPnl Regan Books by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

ou’a rd Stern. Cot k rock shock jock. Radio person ality and all-around menace to the public morality. Denounced by the left rind right wings (although briefly accepted by the Libertarian party), holder of syndicated r;tdio talk-show by day, FartMan by night. But wait -he’s an author, too! Howard Stern is the man behind such great works of literature as Private PLUYS, and now, Miss America. So it was with much predjudice that I cast my first look overMiss America. It’s got really disgusting colour pictures in the middle. There are pornographic film stars and men dressed in drag everywhere. The text is laid out in strange mismatchings of type styles that serve no purpose but to annoy the reader. The first two chapters are about Internet Relay Chat-sex, with graphic excerpts. Then I actually read the thing. The entire thing. The whole bloody book. It’s a tough and occasionally disgusting read, like Nuked Lunc/l without any of the big words. But after chewing through Miss America, I realized something. My media-influenced picture of Mr. Shock Jock was so low that nothing could make me think 1~~s of’ him. So after Stern gets his mind out of the gutter -. page 165, more or less - and starts talking about his radio show, it’s mildly interesting. The story about running for Governor as a member of the Libertarian party would even make a good pamphlet. But Mi.r c Anwricw

won’t

l-w bought

for

scintillating behind-the-scenes look at the world of q ndicated radio. No one cares about Stern’s analysis of the Larry King crank phone calls. Howard’s skillful USC of the English language (carelessly liberating words previcjusly held captive to ‘good taste’) will not win him royalties. In the end, it all comes down to the sex. Nothing really surprising there. Sex sells. its

Howard Stem, like Madonna, like Traci Lords, like Hugh Hefner, knows the most fundamental of marketing points. Appeal to their gonads and the wallet will follow. And why mess with perfection? When writing about masturbation and dead porno stars sells books, why bother with inteliigence’? Like it or not, Howard Stern is the average American - loud, obnoxious, overweight, with an undersized penis compensated for by periodic displays of futile aggression. And yet everyone hates him -- everyone, that is, except for the millions of readers that put Primre P’crr.ts on the bestsellers list. They love him hec;~ustr Stern is just doing what they all would like to, except he’s nlaking a living ilt it. Hate him if you wish. I’m sure Stern won’t mind more bad press. H~tt3 Mire Amuri~w, too, for being a mishmash of pornography, obscenity, 21indstupidity. But m:tybc,.just ~~iayhc. borrow MI~WIIC/ it before you makt: your decision. .4nd Bab:j Booey to you. too.

IMPRINT,

Gleemonex

can’t help them.

Pain

Although

positioned

by Sandy Imprint

at the

surebrings in people,

very

back

ARTS

Friday, March 29, 1996

of this

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shot,

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outthebest doesdt it?

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Atti staff

some of the funniest comedians in North America. While our retarded sense of national pride prevents us from declaring our pride in anything we do, we can be genuinely pleased about comedians such as Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Dave Thomas, Mike Myers, John Candy, Norm MacDonald and of course, Jim Carrey. We’ve delivered an inordinate amount of laughter unto the world. And the world sees that it is good, that’s why they buy the really funny ones and ship ‘em south of the fourty-nine. The Kids in the Hall are, of course, no exception to the aforementioned group and they’re back; this time with a feature length film -Brain Cundy which hits the big screen April 12th. The film tracks the discovery of a new pill, Gleemonex which apparently cures depression. Although a little late to be a timely satire on Prozac, the fifty (!) odd characters portrayed by the The Kids in the Hall, aIong with their own bitterly twisted sense ofhumour will no doubt more than make up for any lack of timing. However, fans of the show are no doubt justifiably concerned about whether or not the Kids’ skit-based comedy will transfer well to another medium. At the same time, will the fractured cast be able to keep it together after they’ve all (well except Kevin McDonald) established careers outside the Kids in the Hall? Add to this McDonald’s recent divorce, apparently a direct result of the time the movie demanded of McDonald, and one can see this as far from a recipe for success. And then there are the rumours. This month’s edition of Saturday Night suggests that the show was plagued by infighting during their last year, especially between McCulloch and Foley. It also suggests that Foley had to be pressured with legal action before he agreed to do the Kids in the Hall movie. Apparently, Foley appears alone or estranged from the other cast members in the movie, an unintentional but ironically appropriate coincidence. The magazine also reports that the Kids were in voluntary isolation from each other during the shooting of the movie and that McDonald was at one point willing to quit rather than continue on the track that led to the loss of his wife and, apparently, his friends. But rumours are, after all, only rumours. Wherever Saturday bright gets its information, only the Kids will know how well or how badly things are going.Imprinthad a chance to talk to one of those Kids, Mark McKinney, and his perception seems somewhat sugary, perhaps seen through Gleemonex-coated glasses. But even if he is glossing over any problems for the media, such infighting could very plausibly be good for the movie, and if that’s the case, the movie could be good for them. Af’ter ali, pain sure brings out the best in people, doesn’t it?

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So, what are the biggest differences that you’ve noticed between doing the movie and Kids in the Hall? Does the movie come across as a bunch of sketches or is there a fair bit of cohesion to the whole thing? Oh, there’s much more cohesion. It’s a real film with a plot. What I think is really good about the film is that the scenes that the kids are in don’t play like sketches - they play like scenes with interesting characters the same way they were in Kids in the Hall. There are a lot of characters too. Did you have fun? Yeah, it was fun. Did everyone have fun? Yeah! Yeah, I think so. I didn’t ask to interview any-

one specifically, but when I was given the opportunity to interview one ofyou, I was told that Dave FoleyC4wasn’t available.” I’ve also heard rumours that he isn’t happy with the Kids in the Hall, he didn’t want todo the movie. Is that true? No, not really. 1 think it’s got more to do with the fact that he just had a second kid and he’s doing News Radio, and they’re in the middle of production. I think he is going to do some more stuff, but he has to do it later when he gets a break. How much have you been in contact with everyone else since The Kids in the Hall finished? We haven’t fosf contact. It’s been a year and a half, I think it was late July ‘94 that we finished the

Kids in the Hall series and we went away, all of us, for two weeks and then there was writing different drafts of the scripts for nine months and then it was pre-production and then we sho,t the film and then it was looking at edits and then we did reshoots and those had to be written and then there was publicity and everything. It’s not just like being an actor where you go in, do your part and you’re gone and then you do promo. like six months later. We’ve been all over this project. So, %ompare and contrast your work onSaturdayNightLive with that of Kidsin the Hall.“There that’s an interview question for you. (- . -laughs. . -) And a sharp one! Well Kids in the Hall worked on

a completely different time scale. With Kids in the Hall, each creative cycle was three to four months. In that time, we’d spend three to four weeks writing, and then we’d pick the sketches, and then we’d rewrite the sketches as we’d prep to shoot the film and then we’d shoot for a week and a half, and then we’d go into rehearsal for the studio and the scenes would be initially rewritten and rehearsed and then we’d go into the studio for two weeks and tape. We didn’t at all do anything topical the way SAX does. SNL is about the week. We just did three shows in a row, and it’s like different flavours of cake. . .or whatever. You have Monday, Tuesday to write, Wednesday to choose, Thursday and Friday to rehearse and Saturday you do it. It’s kind of thrilling. It leaves you utterly exhausted, but it’s an interestingprocess. Some might say,certainlynol me,thatSNLhasbecomekindofa crappy show in the last little while and yet.. . Get that person on the phone! . . .but my friends, and myself, liked Kids in the Hall. It’s sort of weird to see you on the show. Are you happy with the show? Do you think it’s genuinely funny most of the time? Saturday Night Live? It’s funny enough for me. There’s a different dynamic. The Kids in the Hall had been together five years before we ever got on TV. We had our creative shorthand down. SNL is interesting because it’s a new cast. The people are all really good. We’re all starting from the same place and sort of becoming the cast together. I think that’11 probably be the story about SVL in about a year when people concede that it’s good again or whatever, that it’s really got a great cast that are sort of in synch. with each other. Scott Thompson’s on The Larry Sanders Show. He seemed remarkably underused there. Was part of that his work on the movie? I know he couldn’t do all the episodes because ofthe film. I think their season went from May to September and yeah, he had to be with us for July and August. Now Thompson’s there, you’re with Saturday AJight Live, Dave Foley’s with News Radio.. .it seems like a trend with most Canadian comedians that most ofyou eventually move to the states. Is that because the CBC doesn’t support Canadian comedians or is it the moneyorwhat? We were on the CBC for five years, so I can’t complain about the CBC not supporting Canadian comedy. 1 mean we were a ritzy show and without the CBC being in partnership with HBO, 1 don’t think the Kids in the Hall would have happened. So why do you think so many of them go to the States? I don’t think it’s that they go

“I’m leaving Canada.” it’s just that you sort of go and get invited to work with new people, so naturally the states being ten times bigger, there’s ten times more people to work with and ten times more shows to look at. . . Ten times more money? No, not ten times more money. I mean, have you seen AbFub or stuff like that? Sure. I mean if Jennifer Saunders said to you, “Hey come and work on the show with me. You wouldn’t go “Gee, I’m going to England,” you’d go “I’m going to work with Jennifer Saunders!” you know? That’s the way that you really think ofit. Have you seen Thiskfmr Has 22 Min u,tes? Yeah, I like it. It’s a really good show. 1 think they’re producing against incredible odds. They’ve got only four writers and they’re doing a weekly show. I do a weekly show and I don’t know how they do it. Do you like it? Yealh I do. It’s hot and cold but it’s usually more hot than cold. Those quintuplets out in Newfoundland are kind of lame but on average I think the show’s pretty funny. So you’re pretty happy with the way things have gone in the last little while? Yeah, I’m pretty happy. I’m a little overworked right now. It’s likeSA& a film and a baby all in the same year. When did you get married? September of last year. Oh cool. So let’s see, what’s a good closing interview type question? How about “Who the fuck do you think. you are anyway?” (1 suddenly realize that he now bus a mouihful offood.) Are you eating right now? You’re fucking eating on the fucking phone,. 13 What kind of fucking manners do you have!? Well:, I gotta do it or else I can’t get through these interviews. Fuck, well alright. Well what kind of advice would you give to buddingyoungcomedianswhowant to try and make it? At first, it doesn’t feel like hard work and. it shouldn’t, at the beginning+ You just find a group of likeminded people and you put on a show. Thlat’s it. Oh, okay. One more question. Do you have a green card? Uhh, I’m applying for one. Howlongisthatgoingtotake? Probably six months. OKSoyoucan’tvotewith that, but ifyou did become a citizen, and you coulid vote in the next election, who would you vote for? Of the Republican candidates? Yeah. Steve Forbes. Wh:y? Because he’s a nerd. You find some kinship with that? I can totally relate to that kind of awkwardness.

ARTS

Onward No Disrespect Suirljah Random House 360 pages, $16.95 by Sister

by Edward

Richards

Imprint staff

he time has come to embrace a new image of strength within the black race. The time has come to embrace a fresh image ofpower within the female movement. The time has come to embrace the voice of Sister Soutjah. A women has emerged from the murky depths of the American nightmare with a vision of positivity and many must take notice. Those who do not will be void of a definitive exploration of cultural and social identity. This is why the words of Sister Souljah must be read and understood not just by blacks, not just by women, but by a society of people trapped in an ill-fated social illuslon. To read No Disrespect is to embark on a journey which knows no boundaries. At first glance, it may appear a chronicle of a women’s struggle with life in the land of the physicaliy free and home of the mentally enslaved. However, upon further comprehension, it becomes apparent that this book enters not only into the realm of love and hate, tragedy and death, but most significantly,w a rebirth of life itself and a transformation from weakness to enlightenment. In this process of growth and metamorphosis, Souljah lashes out at many people. Each

Sister

chapter is devoted to an individual who helped charter the course of her life through their influence. Each chapter, unfortunately, is full of pain. Painting vivid pictures of some of the aspects of life in black America, Sister Souljah exposes many upsetting truths. The reader is confronted with the tragic realities that shaped the life of one of the strongest females to pick up a pen. The social and mental corruption of inner-city ghettos and the deterioration of family values are disturbing concepts which are illuminated from an insider’s perspective. The damaging effects of single-parenthood, the emotional struggle for identity betweenmen and women, and the penetrating damage of racism are issues she addresses with passion and genuine concern. Much of her saga is bold and controversial, yet at times it is humorous and pleasant. Either way, it cannot be taken lightly, for beneath the words lie messages of extreme significance and relevance to a reader searching for a new kind of knowledge. As an activist and a hip hop warrior with the Public Enemy clique, Souljah makes it very clear that she has seen too much. She voices her concern for the youth who have to endure the pain and misfortune that she has seen, and she questions the state of a country with impoverished communities in every major city. “Who’s going to take the weight?” a

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 29, 1996

Souljah

reader might ask him or herself, and this might just be the type of question she tries to

ComDlementSTUDENT yourDegree with hire education,, , Qain to be a0

stimulate. Directing fierce ideas to many people in the form of knowledge rather than hatred, it is not difficult to see her mission. Through mental strength and responsibility, qualities she may have lackeld at points in her life, she advocates a sane path for existen#ce in an iworant world of ill-communication and misunderstanding. Sobering doses of realism are delivered to those sheltered from the projects. Her tIone seems to imply what IVaughty By Nature’s track “Ghetto Bastard” preaches: ib‘ly you ‘ve never been tu the,ghetto, don ‘t ever come to the ghettu, ‘cause you wouldnl ‘t understand the ghetto.” From her life travels and unfortunate ordeals, Sister Souljah exhibits a very focused attitude. Although she reveals what she believes to be serious problems for many within the black community, her love for her people is unmistakable. This would appear to be the driving force behind her work, and why she intends No Disrespect to those who do not deserve it.

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IMPRINT,

Revealingthe Corporatist Agenda The

Unconcious Civilization by Jdvl KaistonSaul Anansi I99 pages, $13.95

by Dave Imprint

Lynch staff

ohn Ralston Saul is best known fbr his widely acclaimed book Vulrllire ‘s Bustwds,a lengthy tome about the “dictatorship of rcason in the West.” It was a brilliant book, taking historical examples right up to the present day and showing how our rational world has forgotten common sense, and in the process, made a terrible mess of’things. Sure, it was long-winded at times, but it usually arrived at its point in an interesting, if convoluted way.

The book is written in a lecture format (it was written originally as a radio program), so Saul does not get into much detail about anything, preferring instead to make some initial claims and hope that the reader goes along from there. For instance, he says that we have been in a depression since 1973. 1 know that economists say that longterm economic growth has defnitely slowed since then, but I have scarcely heard of a depression in this century lasting for over two decades. However, Saul goes no further with this particular argument, which is unfortunate, since it would probably be a good one. This lack of detail causes his credibility to suffer in places, but it makes him no less interesting to read. As always, Saul not only abandons the left versus right paradigm, but also brings it down, condemning both sides as ideolgies. This he does brilliantly:

shortormedium term, but ParUdiSE is the nixt sl0j.i.

Corporatism, he says, is a rejection ofcitizen-based democracy and results in short-sighted battles ofsclttinterevt amongthesegruups, while the public good, or what he tmns disinlorcst, is invariably ignorcd despite the best of intentions.

Canadian Various

Miracles

by GwI Shield.~ Vintage Canada 20 1 pages, $14.95 by Derek Weiler special to Imprint

U.S.-born fictionalist who’s spent most of her writing life in Winnipeg, Carol Shields hit paydirt with her 1993 novel T/W Sronu Dial-ies. That wellcrafted narrative recounted the lifelone desires and loneliness of a n&ma1 Canadian woman, and racked up all kinds of major awards. Now, Canadian publishers clre shrewdly exploiting I the fact that Shictds has a sizeable and relatively little-read back catalogue: a lavish hardback rereleasc of Swarm ( 1987) has recently hit the shelves, and Vintage has just reissued Vwinr~~ Mirtx+Itq Shields’s 1985 collection of short fiction. Like many female Canadian authors. Shields likes to write about just plain (though often artistic and intclligont) folk, generally middleaged women. But while Munro, Atwood and the rest mostly content themselves with the inner spark and a

ARTS

Friday, March 29, 1496

Even if you do not necessarily agree with first part, the second is difficult to deny. Saul tends to put into words what so many others are trying desperately to say. A number of other issues are addressed as Saul rails against corporatism, ideologies, rhetoric and the declining ability of’ our language to bring forth real meaning. Saul also uses his history again to great effect, although at time you feel as though he is merely trying to prove that he is well read. On the whole, however, his historical excursions are justified. Saul’s arguments do have their problems at times. Due to the lack of concrete proof in areas, there are hoIcs that you could drive if not a truck, a compact car through. However, if P?&tiii-e’s Basturds is any indication, Saul could patch most of these up given a few more pages. Rut more often than not he hits the nail right on the head, and that is why this book needs to be read, especially by anyone who goes to such a professionally-oriented school as ours. In conclusion, let me make an offer to Mr. Russell: Ifyou read this book and Voltaire’s Bustards, I wil1 bring myself-to read T&e F~urrtuihead. Don’t be fooled by Ttlr Umwtscious Civilizatiorl’s position atop the bestseller lists -- it’s really very good. And to everyone else, read this book. Now.

Shields

minutiaeoftheircharacters, Shields prefers to play with perspective, and her experiments with form and structure are almost as adventurous as Diane Schoemperlen’s. Shields’ stories are at theirmost refreshing when dealing with connection and coincidence, presenting ironically detached views of large groups of characters who are unaware of each other’s existence. The excellent title story, a recounting of one year’s round of startling coincidences, and “Home,” about a

Connections and coincidences abound! random moment of content experienced by all the passengers on an airplane, arc in tone and theme not unlike John Barth’s recent short fiction, though Shields’ prose can’t quite match his for sheer virtuosity. Less successful are some of the cutsier, shorter pieces. “Words” and “Invitations” are both based on fairly simple conceits-the former

posits a world where speech is raising the planet’s temperature to unliveable levels, while the latter recounts a week in which a young woman receives more and more invitations to different functions, all occuring at the same time and for the most part fail to develop in interesting ways. “Pardon” and “A Love So Fleeting, A Love So Fine” are similar but more engaging. In “The Metaphor Is Dead Pass It On” and “Salt,” though, Vurious Miracles hits its nadir: stiff academic exercises that stir little emotion or even clinical

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Shields’ stories fairly brim I with affection and compassion as well as with restless craft. “Fragility” (in which a house- hunting couple worries excessively about refusing to consider “diVibes,” vorce houses”) and “Taking the Train” (woman visits recently widowed friend) both present recognizably real and likeable people in universal situations, and many other stories “-- “Accidents” and “Mrs. Turner Cutting the Grass,” to name two -- are considerable in their charm.

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Become an instant Oasis completist

by Greg

Imprint

Picken staff

With Oasis sitting as arguably the hottest band in the world, it’s not surprising that we’re starting to see a steady flow of items designed to cash in on that status. The latest addition to that field are theSing/e&y Cukctiuns, a collaboration of Sony and HMV. The reasons behind these sets are a product of the differences between the North American CD market and the English CD market. For those unfamiliar with these differences, I’ll keep it brief. In the UK, singles from big acts are maybe $5410, while the actual album itself is much more expensive. Canadians complain about $20.00 album prices, but UK fans would love to pay that little for CDs. As a resuIt, the UK market is flooded with singles, often three or four off a popular album. North American audiences only see these singles as over-priced imports, since the actual full length album is relatively cheap. Outside of the repetitive dance music scene, North American produced singles are a rarity. That said, the singles Collec-

by Dave Imprint

Fisher staff

Ever since his earliest days with The Boys Next Door and The Birthday Party, Nick Cave has been fascinated-indeed, obsessed-by the subject matter of murder. Whether it be all the gory details of murder, the impulses that motivate it, or the resulting themes of guilt and redemption, Cave has long hitched his songwriting onto the macabre subject matter. It needn’t come as any surprise then, that Nick Cave has finally

tims comprises two boxes of imported Oasis singles, one based on Definitefy Maybe, the other on (What ‘s the Smy) Murning Glury The first set contains the singles for “Supersonic,” “Live Forever,” “Whatever,” and “Shakermaker.” The second set contains the singles from “Some Might Say,” “Roll With It,” “Wonderwall” and “Don’t Look Back in Anger.” In addition to the album cuts on these discs, there are also three or four extra cuts on each single ranging from live tracks to demos, to stuff that just didn’t make it on the albums. However, in many cases, it’s hard to figure out why. Unlike what North American audiences are used to when listening to singles, there are no crappy remixes on any of these singles. The closest thing to a remix is the radio edit of “Live Forever,” but it’s still not anywhere near the same thing as a remix. Nor are there any junk tracks would never even be released on an album. The first thing that stood out listening to all eight of these singles was that there were a great deal of songs without Liam singing the lead. Noel can be heard on some of the songs and there are even a couple where I can’t figure out exactly who is singing (Bonehead?). Live tracks include “Live Forever,” recorded live at Glastonbury

‘95, “Bring It On Down,” “Supersonic” and “I Will Beleive.” Since “Live Forever” is my favorite Oasis tune, and “Supersonic” is right up there, I love having the live tracks. Next best thing to actually seeing them play. The “Whatever” single is an interesting case, since it came out between albums, only appearing on special “limited editions” of Defynite@ kitzybe. The songs on it feel different from Dejnite(,v Muybe, and show the slight complexity being added to the band’s sound. Whether or not you wish to purchase the entire set, this one single is worth buying on its own. The final song I have to rave about is Oasis’ version of the Quiet Riot classic “Cum on Feel the Noize,” one of those great arena rock tunes of the 1980s. Having seen videos of Oasis performing this song in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans, it’s not hard to love this song. It’s one of those songs that are hard to sit still while listening to. With the third North American single “Champagne Supernova”rising up the charts, supported by a mildly psychadelic, slightly I3eatleinfluenced video, (Liam has now entered his beard phase} Oasis are hot. While some will call them talentless and far less deserving than other lesser bands, it can’t be argued that they’ve established themselves as a force, with catchy tunes, solid music, and legions of fans. Each of these sets of singles contain enough material for an entire album, and in that regard the $36.99 price may be seen as excessive, but then, it will never be an album, so there’s really no choice. If you’re an Oasis fan, then these are worth purchasing. While the price tag on each of the two sets runs the price up rather high, it’s still signifigantly cheaper than buying each of the singles on their own. If you’re not an Oasis fan, you probably wouldn’t have read this far anyway, but these discs would obviously be a waste of your money.

gotten around to releasing an album that deals exclusively with the usually taboo theme. It’s titled, appropriately enough, Murder Ballads. This is not a typical album by any stretch, not even for Cave himself, Ask yourself: how often are you in the mood to put on a recording that deals exclusively withgruesome rapes and murders? Unless you’re a partner in The Parking Lot Is Full, probably not very often. Nevertheless, Murder Ballads is an undeniably stunning--dare I say, at times passionate and gorgeous-album that bears repeated listenings. Cave stylises most of the record’s compositions in a fashion like American country-folk songwriters Hank Williams and Johnny Cash, spinning tales often from a murderers’ tortured first-hand per-

spective. The narratives are riveting, and the Bad Seeds brilliant accompaniment equally as sublime and complementary. As for the songs themselves, they are all for the most part firstrate. The gentle bailad “Henry Lee,” a duo between Cave and P.J. Harvey, possesses great beauty and atmosphere.It’s the story ofavictim stabbed by a pen-knife and disposed of in a well. Similarly, the songs “Where the Wild Roses Grow” and “Lovely Creature” employ tender female vocals (Kylie Minogue (!?!) and Katharine Blake respectively) to create ballads of sorrow and fear and earnest redemption. “The Kindness of Strangers” is a dark, haunting and fateful version

To begin, I will not speak of the CD-ROM capabilities of this release, as I am reasonably computer illiterate. Besides, the music is worth recommending all by itself. As any Barenaked Fan knows, this release was made saris ivory tickler, Andy Creegan, The difference is noticeable, but not as a means of determining whether or not this album is better or worse than their previous two. As a foursome, the Ladies have a different sound, featuring more guitar and less production. “Shoebox,” the single that everyone loves to hate, is stuck at the end of the CD: that’s good. It’s still there, though: that’s bad. It is mostly because I really 1iked hkzybe You Should Dvr’ve that I cannot sing the praises of this album without mentioning its shortcomings. “I Know” is a decent tune, one of my favourites on the

CD in fact, but it is on this kind of song that BNL:‘s really miss Andy Creegan. While the quartet try to run a series of bridges and hooks together on Born on a Pimte Ship, they fall short of the brilliance displayed on their last album. When they go straight ahead with hard rockin’ tunes like “The Old Apartment,” I almost say to myself, “Yeah., this is something that works for them.” The Jim Creegan written “Spider in my Room,” and “ln the Drink” are solid, enjoyable tracks also. The wit of their previous two albums, the quality that makes ya love ‘em or hate ‘em, goes reiatively untappe:d on this release. Sure, there are efforts made to show case their sharp acumen. For instance, on the aforementioned “I Know,” lyrics such as, “I have a match\Your face\My asking. . .” and ifyou hear it just right it sounds like “Your face, My Ass.” Pretty good, eh. I’m coming off way more harsh than I intended, but this is only because I want the Ladies to continue the path1 they forged with Maybe You Shoukillrive, and leave the adolescence of Gordon behind.

of the murder of Mary Bellows, a woman who was killed in a lonely hotel room by Richard Slade. Cave cautions: “Mothers keep your girls at home (and make them) shun the company of strangers .” If that song is a tale, then “O’Malley’s Bar” is a lengthy and emotive first-hand account of multiple murder. Cave completely submits himself to the role, spitting out some of the most priceless lines of

as brilliant as 1 believe the album to be, much of the subject matter and explicit language is doubtlessly going to be offensive to a great many people, especially your parents. Even I find myself getting a little self-conscious when listening to it. For one, I generally try to avoid playing it around particular people-older folks, chiildren, women... just about everybody-because the songs are so matter of factly in-

the year.

your-face.

by Andrew Henderson Imprint staff

My fawn&c

uses the de-

scription of “an ashtray as big as a really f&king big brick” as a lethal weapon. For it’s part, the song “Stagger Lee” can probably lay claim to the title of Most Numerous and Best Creative Use of the Word “Motherfucker” in a Single Song. Now, let’s not pussyfoot here;

At the

same

time,

I’m

reluctant to play it when by my self for fear that somebody will intrude in the room and get the idea that I’m a sicko plotting ghastly ideas. You’ll just have to decide whether you need this album in your life and sort out your own neuroses. As for my consumer recornrnendation, this is a GREAT record.

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 29, 1996

” .. g&&g

c&per

I:.._,

..I fla&f :$&@y :.:’:. ... 1 I.::.:,., ‘:;I.n&f.)en&q~ .:::. “:. ‘_’ .,I.. .:. _.... .’ ..’ . by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff David Cooper is no stranger to the local music world. Formerly part of My Neighbour Ned (“Strange” appears on the Swallow

by Simon Lau special to Imprint Released February 13th, congrutulations I’m Smy is more or less a continuation of the Gin Blossom’s last album, N~MJ A&era& Experience (1992). There is one big difference though; the band lost guitarist Doug Hopkins since the last album (Scott Johnson replaces him on guitar). After a lengthy battle with alcoholism and depression, Hopkins was booted from the band and ended up committing suicide late in 1993. Hopkins, best known for his songwriting talents, was arguably the writing force behind the last album. He wrote the mega-hit “Hey Jealously,” the song which sprung the Arizona quintet into prominence, and was behind a few other songs as well.

by Jeff Imprint

Records compilation Swdlo w This), Cooper is now solo. His debut solo selftitled release hides, behind a mysterious and stark cover art and simple blackand-white packaging, seven little pieces of acoustic candy. This is more of an EP than an album, timing in at less than thirty minutes. David Cooper is a one-manband on guitars, keyboard, percussion, and strings, and only one other musician (Robert McLean) appears to add percussion to a few tracks. While the result is a rather plain album, it remains unfettered by overproduction, at the same time going beyond the sound of a live show. The opening “Saturday” carries a catchy hook that will stick in your mind for a long time after putting the CD away. There are many similar shining moments

scattered throughout the album cute guitar riffs, memorable choruses, and overall a sense of musical craftmanship. Cooper works one musical theme at a time, slowly and fairly simply, backed with his unadomed yet expressive vocals. Still, apart from “Saturday,” which is the only riff-based song on the album, no other track really sticks out from the rest. This album is best taken as a whole. Its length (or rather, lack of’) is to its advantage; ten minutes longer and it might get monotonous. The point of Iistcning to David Cooper, however, is not to run around the room banging your head into walls. It’s a cerebral listen, music for teatime, or coffee houses (Cooper’s natura1 live habitat). When listened to in one sitting, however, an overall tone arises from the background of the album. It’s the nearest equivalent to a coffeehouse in one’s own home. it’s also Cooper’s first solo release, and while one hopes for something longer and more distinctive as a follow-up, it is a more than worthy debut.

songwriting is more of a group effort. While Hopkin’s songs had a certain sadness to them, remeniscing about the days gone by, the new album has a generally more uplifting mood. The two biggest songs are probably “Follow You Down” and “Til I Hear From You.” The first song, already a single, is not quite the next “Hey Jealousy,” but is close to it. It is already receiving quite a bit of air-time on several radio s;tations, and should continue to do so for quite some time. “Til I Hear From You,” which was previously released on the Empire Records Soundtrack, is an oversweetened pop-tune which undoubtedly has quite a following. Although enjoyable, it’s one ofthose songs that leaves the listener rather empty afterwards. I wouldn’t be surprised if the song is still playing regularly on easy-listening stations 10 years from now. Three other songs deserving mention are “Not Only Numb,““As Long As It Matters,” and “Competition Smile.” These songs contain

catchychorusesandasenseofgood feeling, and are my favourites from the album. The song “Memphis Time” is kinda neat too, and is dedicated to the recording of the album (hint: the album was recorded in Memphis). I don’t really like it; although the Gin Blossoms have a slight country influence in some of their songs, a track that is totally “country” al ways seems to surface. And so, with the loss of Hopkins, the Gin Blossoms may never get a song with as big an impact as “Hey Jealousy.” Unfortunately, too many of their songs are about about girls, about past memories, and about girls from past memories. Aside from their lack of ideas, buy their album; buy it for someone you really care about; buy it if you really liked the first album; buy it as a refreshing escape from today’s mainstreamed “alternative music.” But as long as the Gin Blossoms continue to sell, don’t expect any major changes from their style of simple, yet catchy music.

dio play on dance stations. “‘All About U” is a funny track featuring

Snoop Doggy Dogg, Nate Dogg and Dru Down that concerns a small group of hos that these artists always seem to notice no matter where they go. “2 of Americaz Most Wanted” is another great track featuring Snoop and Tupac throwin’ down some serious shit. Despite all the help, Tupac can hold his own and does so extremely well throughout the whole album with his own style. Don’t let the Death Row label fool you, Tupac uses his own style for pretty much the entire album and hasn’t let his new affiliation effect his style. Although the price may be high for this set ($28.99 seems to be the going price right now), it is 2 CDs with 27 slammin’ tracks. Tupac is back and still going strong with all eyes on him.

Peeters staff

In the rap music genre, 1 have found that albums tend to have a large number of tracks. The probfern is that many of these tracks were nothing more than sub-par filler, Such is not the case with this 2 CD set featuring Death Row’s newest inmate Tupac Shakur. Hell, Tupac has put out better shit on two discs than many rap artists can barely do on one. I guess being in jail has given him time to write solne quality tracks (indeed, he had it hand in writing all the tracks in the set) because this is a very solid effort from Mr. Shakur. As with most Death Row albums, Tupac gets help from other inrnatcs and these provide for some interesting tracks. “California Love” features Dr. Dre and has been getting the all-important ra-

ARTS TOTE

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ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 29, 1996 examples of Michael’s well timed and delivered guitar licks. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not a heavy, rock ‘till ya drop album. It carries the Junkies’ tradition of smooth, folkrock, slow dancing, sitting-alone-in-the-backof-a-club,after-hours, watching-the-smoke-

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by Andrew Henderson Imprint staff There’s just something about Margo Timmins’ voice. It’s sexy, it’s haunting, it’s all at once comforting and horrifying. Whatever combination you might concede her, you know, if you have heard

by Alexander Imprint staff

for-nt

UVUS!udentlife Building(Ca~lpusCentre- downstairsby theBunk)- 884-9070

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For the Gene fan this album does allow the completion of holes in their work, with some rareties like the Radio 1 session in Britain where they cover Lennon and McCYartncy’s “Don’t Let Me Down” having some entertainment value. “London, Can You Wait?” and “1

Wavrlant

is a collection of radio sessions, live tracks, and B-sides by the British pop group Gene. This album simply fails to impress. The live tracks, which feature their bigger tunes Iike “Olympian,” just don’t have any of the extra qualities that a concert provides, and sound poorer than the original album release. The only feature is crowd noise at the start and conclusion of the songs which just doesn’t count for much these days.

*..

,. ..

...’.

any of the Cowboy Junkies’ material, exactly what I. speak of. This offering showcases her many talents as well as those of her Michael brother!guitarist, Timmins. If you have been following the Junkies for any amount of time, you’ll notice the lack ofguitar on their last few albums. Lrry it Downmarks thereturn ofMichael’s guitar work as an important component of the music. Songs such as “A Common I3 saster,” and the title track, “Lay it Down” arc prime

Can’t Help Myself’ also came from an earlier Radio 1 session and are at least pleasant.

repetitive

crap that can be heard on

?& wrth &&&&~ ‘Ii: his hit song “shut up (and sleep ,.:. :. ‘. ‘~GiaiPt&y i ...I’,,I:;.,., with me).” Like a lot of dance songs

,.. .. .

: .:

by Jeff Imprint

jgj&-j

‘. :

,: ‘.,, ‘. :: ., :.._

Peeters staff

these days, these tracks severely lack in creativity and just reiterate the same message over and over. Well, at least one can understand the message behind the song rather

In the world of dance music, an album can be one of two things. It can be either good, or it can be total crap. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you sin with Sebastian, the poster boy for total crap. Forget about his messages of safe sex. Forget about his choice of sexual orientation (which

I assume

is gay, consid-

ering the lyrics in track IO, “right or wrong”). These are non-factors. This album just plain sucks. T haven’t heard anything that insults my intelligence this much since Scatrnan John came onto the scene. Almost the entire album is made up of the same old

easily. This album sucks. This album

up-towards-lhc-

light, try-to-figure-outjust-what-the-hell-is-~oing-on style music. And now that 1 have seriously overused the hyphen, 1’11 move on. For my money, the two best tracks on Lu-v it D~MW are the opening track, “Something More Resides You,” and the tokon happysong, “Angel Mint.” The former is a dark song with some beautiful vocals, blending with some really cool guitar work. This is the songin which Michael’sguitirsays, “I’m back.” This isn’t something you’ll put on at a party; not something you’ll hear at Fed Hall all that often. but t&l it Ds~‘n is as moving an album you might find this year.

There is a hidden track twelve minutes into the last track, which is another “For the Dead” and though the disk only lists twenty tracks when in the CD player, the booklet dots carry a copyright for track twenty-one. This seems too bureaucratic and a bit of a cop-out. All in all these twenty-one tracks do not add any great quality to the Gene works and arc better kept for true-blue Gene fans rather than a first time album buyer mainly because U1ympian is a vastl) better purchase. The live songs obviously cannot have the stage presence that their real concerts have, and do not carry more energy than their studio works. and this is the main reason why the album turns out flat.

sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks, This allbum sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album suc‘ks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks, This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This albumsucks. This a1bu.m sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. This album sucks. Do you understand what I’m trying to get at? If you skipped the previous Iparagraph, then skip this album.

IMPRINT, Friday, March 29, 1996

by Maryann Malloy special to Imprint Quebec’s Gorelust happen to be the world of blood-soaked Death Metal’s best kept secret! With songs like “Sclerosed Brain Eater,” “ Indigestible Human Remains,” and “Infant Devourment” I knew I couldn’t go wrong in picking up this independent disk from deep within the bowels of Montreal’s own Rock en Stock! The music is reminiscent offellow French Canadian Deathsters Kataclysm in its sheer intensity and the over the top vocal line which has come to characterize the Quebec sound. In fact Gorelust may well take off from where Kataclysm failed to go with their last outing Sarcev. Gorelust’s love for blast beats is evident

by Maryanna Imprint staff

Basic

Well, I don’tknowmuchaboutjazz. Ido know what I like however. Amazingly enough I (little Miss. Susie Cynical) am about to give a good review. Ancestors is a CD which I believe is a piece of musical genius. The eight track CD allows the listener to become close with the artist, Renee Rosnes. A member of the Carnegie Hall Jazz Band, Ms. Rosnes writes her music with flair and inspiration based on the personal journey of her life. The CD reflects her changes of finding her biological mother, the discovery of her Native roots, and the loss of her adoptive mother to cancer. The CD’s title comes from the ties of her family. The first track “Upa Neguinho” is based upon Brazilian music. The upbeat tempo is wonderfully exhilarating. Her piano playing touches your spirit deep inside. It allowed me

by Chris Imprint

Edginton staff

It’s too ofien that I fmd another rap or hip hop band playing the same thing over the course of an album or career. In these cases, the question of talent needs to be asked. Can these artists actually play instruments? Can these artists actually put together a melody? So along come the Fun Lovin’ Criminals, with their homegrown brand of music, and my confidence in rap music is reinstalled. An eclectic mix of rapping vocals, funk driven backbeats, and Motown’s melodic soul, the Fun Lovin Criminals throw it all into one pot and cook up quite a treat. Formed in New York, F.L.C. come to us with a wide range of musical talents behind them. Come Find Yourself takes these talents and puts them on full display with songs ranging from heavy bass backed chants to relaxed lounging music. Based on the philosophy of “Do it live, do it real,” F.L.C. manage to create music that is equally accessible on tape as it live. With Steve (first names only please) playing

ARTS on every track but does not detract from the music like so many of their counterparts who fail to realize that moments of mid-paced mayhem serve to increase the listeners appreciation for the hyperblasts to come. By incorporating various dimensions of tempo into the folds of their songs the band create a demented collage of depravity and violence paralleled by very few within the Death Metal genre. Don’t look for too much similarity between Gorelust and fellow Quebecois Gorguts however. While Luc Lemay and Steve Hurdle may have been called upon to lay down some guest vocals for the Reign of Lunacy album the influence stops there. Gorelust is a meat and potatoes, or blood and carrion if you prefer, kind of Death Metal band who forsake intricacies for whiplash with a side order of severed appendages. Everything you could possible ask for in a band who is poised, along with a handful of other Quebec degenerates, to resurrect the Canadian Metal scene!

to free my thoughts and let me wander the land of imagination. The next track “The Sounds Around the House” has the soft tinkering of the piano with the light bass playing of Peter Washington. The rest of the tracks are all very weli done, although my favourite is “The Ache of Absence” (track four). The song is based on Renee Rosnes’ loss of her mother and the sadness is mimicked very well by Nicholas Payton’s trumpet playing. All of the instrumentations intermingle well with each other. Although the piano does get its fair share of glory, the different sounds are not that overpowering of each other. I fell absolutely in love with the emotional playing of the trumpet by Nicholas Payton, Cris Potter’s amazing saxophone voice and Peter Washington’s beautiful bass. When you listen to this CD don’t be surprised if you feel like you are in a cafe somewhere on Queen Street in Toronto or if you feel like you’re in New York City. The captivating music just allows you to leave you living room and start dreaming of being somewhere else. both drums and programming on the side, Fast playing bass, keyboard, trumpet, and harmonica, and Huey playing guitar, F.L.C. have produced music on album that may be easily transferred to the stage. “There are so many people doing studio projects, but few are playing together live as a band.” says Fast. Come Find Yourself was self produced and is F.L.C.‘s first release with EMT. As a first attempt, this album is an impressive debut offering. Opening with “ The Fun Lovin’ Criminals,” I was immediately aware of the group’s flair for harmony and overlaid vocals. All three of its members share with the vocal duties and in many cases the result is a hyped-up juggernaut of sound; songs like “Bear Hug” and “Bombing The L” are good examples. My only complaint with Come Find Yoursdf is their feeble attempt at soft romantic singing. The closing track “Methandonia” is really quite bad with Fast attempting to lull me to sleep or something. In any case, it doesn’t work at all. Thankfully the track is at the end of the record. All in all, the F.L.C. have put together an album that has some distinctly lasting qualities. Come Find Yoursevputs some fun back into all too often dry world of popular music.

by Justin Imprint

Mathews staH

It is unlikely that anything Genesis Porridge ever does will be as innovative or as important as his Throbbing Gristle days, but his latest offering is almost as interesting to listen to. The liner notes of Trip Reset, written by Dr. Dan Jay (author of “Better Sex through Chemistry”) say the music on the album “represenfs a new musical idiom” which Dr. Jay names “Deep Lounge.” He doesn’t really

TV, not the kdustrial dacid house music of previous albums. Dr. Jay also claims this album is “even better than lots of sex and drugs all mixed together.” An exaggeration, perhaps, but a greatt album nonetheless. Most of the album is very mellow. The keyboards are warm and spacious and usually keep to the background. Percussion, when there is some, is kept light and sparse. It too, is subdued. The vocals are laid back, almost restrained at some points. Guitars and violas and other instruments fill in the gaps between vocals and keyboards. ,.:?y Everything on this album is kept mellow, amounting to a beautiful 78 minute creation. There is one exception to the good music, however. The song “Black Cat” just gets on my nerves after a couple of listens. At first the song is great. The music seems to have a play.ful bounce to it, and the lyrics remind me of “‘The Cat in the Hat” but then comes the annoying “meows” (which are actually written into the lyric sheet). I’m not sure why it annoys me. Itcould be the fact that it sounds like a Jingle Cats reject. Or maybe it sounds like a little kid piaying with a sampler (and a chealp sounding one at that) for the first time. Black Cat is the only blemish on an otherwise excellent album. I can’t get enough of the hypnotic keyboards and (analogue) effects. Get it. You’ll like it.

ARTS

IMPRINT, Friday, March 29, 1996

Imprint is now down and out for the term, but guess what...? We’re back for the summer starting May 3rd.

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worthy of some note are track fourteen “Mantra to the Buddha,” by Baby Dot &. The Dentist (also remixed by Hardlfloor), track two “Flash,” by Gre:en Velvet, track three “Positive Education,” by Slam, and track iten “Don’t Stop,” by Mark NRG. All tracks on this disc are high energy (hard and fast as Moonshine explains it) and remind someone of a DJs set at a rave, or a similar club type. If you like these type of discs then I would sug#gest that you visit the Moonshine Records website (http://www.moonshine.com), which introduces the Psychotrance series, other artists and compilation series produced b,y Moonshine. The site also provides information on ordering directly from Moonshine Records in the US (which appears to be reasonable). Furthermore, the site provides you with sound samples for your listening enjoyment. Samples from this disc and others that Moonshine produces are included within the page. All in all a fair disc, some ofthe tracks might be filler but there are some good ones to be found on this CD, if you like your DJ mixed compilations “hard and fast,” then you’ll like this one.

by Dave Neal special to Imprint Usually the problem that I have with compilation discs is the fact that you get one or two good songs and the rest is tripe. This is not completely true of Psychurrunce 3. The Psychotrance series, which is put out by Moonshine Records features a trance/ techno DJ. The DJ featured on this version is Eric Powell, who DJs at a club called The Zap in Brighton, England. He is also a co-owner of Bush Records. PoweIl puts the mix together on the CD, mixing one track into the next. The CD is composed of fourteen tracks. One of the highlights on this CD is track thirteen. The track is entitled “The Realm,” performed by Chantal and remixed by Hardfloor. This song features the typical trance build up and peaks with those high frequency pitches that can cause the ear to bleed (well almost). Some of the other selections

“Til I Hear From You,” which previously released on the Empire Records Soundtruck, is an oversweetened pop-tune which undoubtedly has quite a following. Although enjoyable, it’s one ofthose songs that leaves the listener ralher empty afterwards. I wouldn’t be surprised if the song is still playing regularly on easy-listening stations 10 years from now. Three other songs deserving mention are “Not Only Numb,” “As Long As It Matters,“and “Competition Smile.” These songs contain catchy choruses and a sense of good feeling, and are my favourites from the album. The song “Memphis Time” is kinda neat too, and is dedicated to the recording of the album (hint: the album was recorded in Memphis). 1 don’t really like it; although the Gin Blossoms have a slight country influence in some of their songs, a track that is totally “country” always seem5 to surface. And so, with the loss of Hopkins, the Gin Blossoms may never get a song with as big an impact as “Hey Jealousy.” Unfortunately, too many of their songs are about about girls, about past memories, and about girls from past memories. Aside from their lack of ideas, buy their album; buy it for someone you really care about; buy it if you really liked the first album; buy it as a refreshing escape from today’s mainstreamed “‘alternative music.” But as long as the Gin Blossoms continue to sell, don’t ex’pect any major changes from their style of simple, yet catchy music. was

by Simon hu special to Imprint Released

13th, Cunis more or less a continuation of the Gin Blossom’s last album, NW Miseruble Experience (1992). There is one big difference though; the band lost guitarist Doug Hopkins since the last album (Scott Johnson replaces him on guitar). After a lengthy battle with alcoholism and depression, Hopkins was booted from the band and ended up committing suicide late in 1993. Hopkins, best known for his songwriting talents, was arguably the writing force behind the last album. He wrote the mega-hit “Hey Jealously,” the song which sprung the Arizona quintet into prominence, and was behind a few other songs as well. On Cungrutuhtions I’m Sort-y, songwriting is more of a group effort. While Hopkin’s songs had a certain sadness to them, remeniscing about the days gone by, the new album has a generally more uplifting mood. The two biggest songs are probably “Follow You Down” and “Til I Hear From You.” The first song, already a single, is not quite the next “Hey Jealousy,” but is close to it. It is already receiving quite a bit of air-time on several radio stations, and should continue to do so for quite some time. grutuhtions

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Volunteer Driver: Do you have a car and Summer

Business: Are you an entrepeneur? Great opportunity with low start-up cost, management training, earn up to $&300/week, vehicle required. Call Greenland Irrigation I -8OO36 l-4074. Experience the Fun Life! Be your own boss in Grand Bend this summer. Retail booths available for food, clothing, rentals or pizza location (oven included). Student Venture loans available. From $395. per month. Call London 4734084 or 657-5532 evenings. Relief Staff: to work with individuals with a developmental delay. Experience, minimum 8 month commitment. Send resume to U-W habilitation Services, Human Resources, 108 Sydney St. S., Kitchener, Ont. N2G 3V2.

Local/Intersession

StudentAdvert&

in9 Sales Reps wanted. Fun, university orientated job. Great $$$/bonuses/flexible hours/vehicle required. Fax resume (9051 737-9372. Cash paid nightly - $7SO/hr + bonuses guaranteed for door-to-door fundraising/Sales Reps and Crew Leaders. Part-time flexible shifts. Experience necessarv. Call Franz 743-3400.

Internet -Teach Conversational

Engl

lish year round, short term or for summer in Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan, Korea. Excellent pay. No experience or qualifications needed. For free details on living/workingconditions, how you can apply, job directories, etc., see htip://asiafacts.kingston.net or pick up our free brochure at the Imprint Offtce nr the Turnkey Desk. Asia Facts Unlimited, P.O. Box 93, Kingston, Ontario, K?L. 4V6.

Summer rental - house with 1 to 5 rooms available Washer, dryer, convenient location $195./month including utilities. Call Joe 888-4567. ext. 5693 until 5 p.m. or 742-9562 after 5 p.m. Townhouse for rent - 5 large bedrooms, very clean and spacious, parking, laundry, great for 5-7 people, excellent landlord, 8 minute walk to UW. $I,59000 plus hydro, available May 1. 699-5019. Summer sublet - I room In furnished apartment. Available before May I. $220./month or negotiable. Directly across from campus. Call Lori @ 7257864.

Adoption?

Pregnant?

Warm, loving, infertile couple anxious to adopt and provide a home for your child. Legal and confidential. Call Mike/Donnacotlect (416) . I 757-2289. Pregnant? Considering adoptive parents? Happily married professional couple seeking irthmother considering adoptive parents for her baby. Warm and loving home environment. Rob or Linda I800-254-8452 in our home.

Tandy

1000 SX computer, DMP 13OA dot-matrix printer (no hard drive). Best offer. Call 888-6526 after 7:OO p.m. Simulated oak computer workstation, Best offer. Call 888-6526 after 7:00 p.m.

Amazing

new course! - Certified course now offered in Aromatherapy and Masage. For information call Kal Kotecha’s Academy of Aromatherapy at 885-6457.

African

Pygmy Hedgehogs - adorable pets, hypoallergenic, odorless, very low maintenance costs. The exotic pet for the 90s - $90.00. Call Jim at 888-8621.

Get your repor&, cases, and essays professionally desktop published for bettermarks! Free pickup and delivery. $I .50/ 250 words. Save this phone number and call Jennifer at 746-5069 for your next assignment.

Income Tax Services - fast accurate, computer-checked, conveniently located in Waterloo, e-file available, starting from $15.00. Call Darren at 571-8833 or email at kregll30@ machl .wlu.ca

Lakeshorearea, quiet location, garage, parking, huge family room, $I ,295,/ month. Summer negotiable if needed. 7258772 or 888-7377.

Phillip Street townhouses-available May I - fridge & stove, washer & dryer, parking included. 2 & 3 bedroom units. Apply unit 54-256 Phillip Street, telephone 746-5761. Rooms available - $300.-$325., utilities, cable, washer/dryer, furnished, TV/ VCR, 12 month lease starting Sept. 884-7550.

Downtown

Kitchener

- furnished

unfurnished room in spacious 2 bedroom apartment. References required. $350. inclusive. 578-0429. Summer sublet - I bedroom apat-tmen1 on top of triplex. Near Waterloo Park on Euclid Ave., Kitchener. Living room, bedroom, bathroom, fully furnished Ideal for serious student who needs peace and quiet or couple. Quiet locaton, very nice place. Asking about $400. (reg. $600.) Call Derek746-2001.

and save $30. on the regular registration ftee. Deadline for early registration is TODAY. After today regular registration fees will be $I IO.

SATURDAY, MARCH 30,1996 WatSFiC (Waterloo Science Fiction Club Games Day starting IO a.m. in Math Comfy Lounge, MC 3001, Math & Computer Building, UW. Bring a board or card game to play. Free for all. Fun for all. See uw.clubs.watsfic or mail watsfic@calum.csclub.uwaterloo.cafor details.

TUESDAY, MARCH 26 Those interested in a ca Waterloo Wellington Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Assoc. invites K-W area chronic fatigue syndrome sufferers, their family and friends to a support group meeting at the Adult Recreation Centre, 185 King St., S. Info 623-3207.

Available Sept. ‘96 - 5 bedroom house,

Cheap! Large bedroom in house, $150. + utilities. Availablesummerterm, air conditioning, laundry, on bus route, near school. Local 888-0510 or Toronto (4 16) 482-0654. Available Sept. ‘96 - 5 bedroom house with great uptown Waterloo location, parking for 4, I year lease, $1,295./ month. 570-2640 or 888-7377.

FRIDAY, MARCH 29,1996 1996 Learned Societies Congress Registration Brock University. Register early

EVERY MONDAY Outers Club meets every Monday except University holidays and Inter-term breaks. 7 p.m. in MC 4040. Contact Fabrice Jaubert, ext+ 4655 or fjaubert@cgl.uwaterloo.ca

EVERY TUESDAY To become a better public speaker, read in publicand buildyourconfidence, join the Christopher Leadership Course. This course begins March 19 to May 28, I996 from 7 to IO p.m. Students $90.00

(books included), adults $I IO. For more info call Lolita Nechacov at (519) 5763877.

EVERY WEDNESDAY Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo sponsors GLLOWNight, a social evening. 9 p.m. ML I04. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Waterloo Science Fiction Club (WatSFiC) meeting 7:00 p.m. in SLC 2135, Student Life Centre, UW. Bring a board or card games to play afterwards. See uw.clubs.watsfic or mail watsfic@calum.csclub.uwaterloa.cafor details.

Wednesday, April 3, I996 Coming Out Discussion Group explores issues in sexual orientation. Topic: Politics and Sexuality. 7:30 p.m., ML 104. Information: 884-4569. Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgendered people and those questioning their sexuality are welcome. Revenue Canada is presenting a tax seminar for International students in DC 1302. Tax guides will be available at the session. international Student Office is looking for volunteers who will attend this session and help international students who need asssistance prqlarmg their returns. If you are interested in being a volunteer, register in ad,,ance with Darlene Rvan, ext. 2814. Waterloo Community Arts Centre, 25 Regina St., S., Waterloo, preserlts its WCAC General meeting today. April 4 speaker Lauren Nesbitt “Critical Responses to Writing, What do editors want?“, April 13, Acrylic Painting Workshop. Phone 886-4577 for more Info. Thursday, April 4, 1996 Waterloo Region Fundraising Executives present their first Annual Educational Workshop “Fundraising Basics Stop by Step. Takes place at the KW Art Gallery from 8:30 a.m. til 12 noon. Call Jane Rvan at 741-9184 for info. Wednesday, April IO NAFM magazine is seeking articles,

poetry, art and fiction for its 6th publication entitled “Need Another Full Meal”. Deadline is today as we are to publish just prior to the April 19th region strike. In particular we desire material relating to the current socio-political climate under the Tory government of Ontario. We wish a diverse selection of material: proTot-y, anti-tory, pro-labour, anti-labour, socialist, capitalist, anarchist...use your imagination, pile in the facts and have fun to NAFM, Box 40077, Waterloo Town Square, 75 King St., S., Waterloo, Ont., N2J 4Vl.

Friday, April 19 Numus presents “Love Songs” Theatre and Chant. Waterloo Community Arts Centre, 25 Regiona Street, S., Water-

Transpomtion

to the Vineyard. Free shuttle availableevery Sunday from U of W to the Kitchener Vineyard’s meetings at the Concordia Club. For a ride, call Sandi at 579-8463 before Ft-idav noon.

ThoseinWestedinacareerasaCertified Management Accountant are invited to attend to a talk by Joseph Palumbo on Tuesday, March 26 in NH 1020 from 3:30 - 5:3Q. Stiff neck, shoulders or back? Cost of massage by professional therapist is covered by Uw’s health plan. Reduce tension fromstudying,callCameronMoffattat7479520.

Attention

Btuevak

Alumni! 5Cl’s 25th

Reunion is May 30June I, I997. Ifyou are interested in attending, please contact the Reunion Hotline at 650-0569. Recycle your phone books. 1996 telephone books will be delivered during late February and early March.

Homer Watson House & Gallery raffle! “My Mother Bids Me Comb My Hair“ pastel by Diano Philpott. Draw on May 12. Call 748-4377 for more info.

K-W’s new professional

theatre company, Union Theatre Waterloo launches its second season with “Lullaby of Broadway” April 1O-21. On May I -19 come see ” Patsy Cfine-Sweet Dreams: The Fantasy Tour”. For info call 746-I 484. A bursary is offered for 1 year of postgraduate study to residents of the Municipality of Waterloo or students studying at UW or WLU Approximate value: $3,ScIo. Application deadline: April 15. 1996. For tnfo call 905-522-9537 or the Graduate offices at the above universities. Libana in concert Sunday, May 5,1996 at 3 p.m. at St. John%-on-the-HI11 United Church, Cambridge. This seven women ensemble mpture world rhythems and harmonies through song, dance and instruments in music Tickets $15.00 Info 8367578. The TOEFL Preparation Course will begin on April 2 and end June 5. Classes are held every Tuesday and Wednesday from 2-4:30 p.m. for IO weeks. Thecourse fee is $50. and the book “Building Skills for the TOEFL” is $32. Register at the lntemational Student Office, NH2080 or call Darlene Rvan ext. 2814 for more info.

Career opportunity! - a unique home based business. Experience yourfreedom. Positive, success fccussed, s&develop

ment lV Network. Growing faster than CNN! Income while you sleep. (519) 8844975.

Writers wanted - to contribute short stories, ancedotes, and poetry on work expe riences and reflections (fiction & non-fiction). The working centre is creating an anthology entitled “Collective Voices: Perspectivesonlabof. Phone571 -9634. Sub mission deadline is May 17. Renison College has rooms available for Spring term studentsantior visiting professors. For further informtion, please contact the Residence Office, Renison College at 8&44404, ext. 611.

loo. For info call 746-8437.

Giant

Encephalomyelitis Association invites KW area Chronic Fatigue Syndrome sufferers, their family and friends to a support group meeting from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Adult Recreation Centre, 185 King st.. S.. information 623-3207.

Homer

April 1 to July Watson House & Gallery

presents Art Classes & Workshops for Painting with Acrylics, Watercolour, Basic Drawing, Garden Sculpture, etc. Call 748-4377 for more info.

Garden'.

E-mail sdmcurry Qcousteau or call Lany Lamb at ext. 2464 for more info.

Church, King and William Streets, Waterloo, Ontario from 7 a.m. to I2 noon. Refreshments available.

Tuesday, April 30 Wellington Myalgic

ROOF,anagencyworkingwithstreetyouth is looking for dependable, empthetic and open-minded volunteers. ROOF provides exceilent learning opportunities in group work, outreach and crisis intervention. We required both day and evening time and ask foraoncea~~eightmonthcommittment. (flexible for students that leave during summer months} Please call Patti at 742-2788. The ihmey Gml8n Committee needs YOU! Volunteers are needed to plant, organize and fundraise for the new “Northern ontario

Saturday, April 20 garage sale at First United

Waterloo

somefreetime?Avolunteerdtiverisneed& to drive senior?3from their home to a senior day program. Time commitment would be Friday 9:30-IO:15 a.m. and 3:30-4:00 p.m. Mileage is reimbursed. FCK iflfonnatrbn w call: Volunteer Services, City of Waterloo, 888-6488. Needed Voliunteer Baby-sitter: Volunteers are needled to assist with a children’s playgroup held on Thursday mornings 9:3O - II 30 am. Responsibilities include reading stories, creative movement and playing with children. Must have previous experience working with preschoolers. Needed Volunteer Shopper: Do you enjoy shopping and helping those in need? This shopping program is to assist older adults unable to do their own grc>cety shopping and have no other means of purchasing groceries and deliver groceries. Volunteer Kitchen Assistant: are needed to assist with a senior lunch program every Wednesday or Friday 8% - 130. Duties include peeling potatoes, setting tables, servingme&,c~inguptablesanddishes. Aqua&Volunteers: are needed to assist with Red Cross swimming dasses. Volunteers must have completed RLSSC Bronze Medallion and be at least I 4 years of age. Learn about 21different culture while you showanewimrnigrant howtobepartofyour community. For more informationcallthe KW YMCA l-lost Program at 579-9622. Do you like leisure and recreation? Beoomea Leisure Support Volunteer. Provide assistance to a person with a disability for swimming, senior’s programs, minor sports or community prqrams. Want to get wet? Male volunteer sought to aid a gentleman with a physical disability Swimming once/ week-evenings. Swimming anybody? Male volunteer sought to help teenage male wrth a disability at Rec. Centre once/week, days or evenings Male volunteer sought for gentleman with disability, wishing to shoot poollblll1ard.s. For more information call Kris at 74I-2226. Be a Big Sister Volunteer. If you are 20 or older and feel you can make a positrve difference in ach!ld’s life, K-W and area Big Sisters needs you. Female v01unt~?t?rsare required to develop relationships with girls (aged 4-l 7) and boys (aged 4-l 1) You are required to provvlde 3 hours a week for a minimum of one year. We are also in need of Big Sisters from a Jamaican, African and Latin American decent. Please call 7435206 for more information. International Students Need English Tutors. Volunteersare needed to tutor intemational students in oral and written English on a one-to-one basis. Tutor meets intemational students on campus for f-2 hours, usually once a week for one term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would like to volunteer, register at the !ntemational Student office, NH 2080: or call Darlene Rvan. ext. 2814 for more tnforrnatlon. Do your thing for the local environment. GREENBACKIS recycles non-blueboxplastics. We need your help once a month for 2 hours. Next recycling Saturday, April 27/96. Please call Greenbacks at 725-0293 to join

Soccercoaches&assistantsareneeded

The City of Waterloo, Volunteer Services is currently recruiting forthe following vohJnteer positiins:

Needed:VdunteerComputerTul~vdunteers are needed to tutor senior participants of our Computer Literacy Interest Pilot Project (CLIPP). Advanced knowledge of Windows applications is required. A time commitment of 4 flexible hours per week is required. Needecf: Income Tax Volunteer. votunteers are needed to complete income tax forms for seniors. A mmitrnent of 4 sessions which are 3 hours in length is

for teams in all age groups. For more info about these volunteer positions, please call Waterloo Minor Soccer at 5784680. h both vou and a md interested in participating in a psychology study on prob lemso!vvina. Weneedr3airsofstudentswho know and-like each &her. This study has been granted ethics approval from the UW offii of Human Research. You will each receive $5. in appreciation for your time, with a possibility of earning a bonus of another $5. If ‘you are interested, call the university switchboard, 888-4567, ext. 3786 and leave a message for Kim with your names and phone numbers. She will return your call and tell you more tiut ti study.

Health Canada advises that smoking is addictive and causes lung cancer, emphysema and heart disease.