1996-97_v19,n12_Imprint by Editor Imprint

The University

Student Newspaper

of Waterloo

Friday, October 4, 19% CDN

Pub. Mail Product

Volume 19, Number 12

Sales Agreement

No, 554677

Reclaiming the streets

Hundreds

of women

marched

through

the streets of Kitchener-Waterloo

last week to Take Back the Night. photo by Jen DiCresce

by Jen DiCresce special to Imprint

ast Thursday, dozens of women met at the Rink in the Park parking lot to sing, make signs and offer encouragement before making their way down King St. in this year’s Take Back the Night march. By the time marchers reached Kitchener City HalI, some 300 participants were publicly protesting violence against women The march took a distinct turn from previous years in its tone and theme. This year, the theme “Marching For the Women Who Cannot Be Here” counterbalanced the individual participants’ reasons for attending. In an unprecedented move by local march organ&q an open mike was provided for anyone who wished to speak. Some women told of their concern for their daughters, themselves, or others who may be in denial about the violence occurring in their lives.

Take Back the Night committee members made a marked effort to maintain an inclusive environment for women of every background,

experience

and abil-

ity. Posters advertised the event in three different languages while a sign language translator was present for the hearing impaired. Women of colour took prominent leadership roles throughout the march, leading the chants, ceremonies, and postmarch celebrations. Free transportation back to Waterloo was available toeveryone at the march’s end. “We really wanted to make this year’s march more positive” said committee member Surnba Ashabo. “We all have our own reasons for coming, so I suggested that we emphasize women’s power.” To promote a more celebratory mood, marchers were greeted at their end destination with drumming and singing followed by a reception of food, drinks, and storytelling inside the City Hall. Storyteller Lisbeth Haddad and Ontario president ofthe Congress of Black Women Chloe

that in fact, there were no Ojibway words for “he” or ‘%he.” The festivities were interrupted only by a brief speech to remind marchers of the women who could not attend. Some reasons were given for their absence: fear of stigmatization, personal prejudice against the march itself, partners who had stopped them from coming, or even death as a result of violence. Still, the Take Back the Night march is not without controversy or resistance. MC Kate Harvey suggested that many women may not attend, because they disagree with men’s segregation from the march itself, although men are invited to join in the post-march celebrations. Traditionally, the march has excluded men as an expression of women’s right to safely walk the streets without male protection. However, this did not discourage a handful of men from showing their support by helping with the

Callender

stage

rallied

women

to their

feet to sing “Let’s rise up today, take back the night in every way.” Another speaker, Carleen Elliot of the First Nations people, spoke of how her culture focuses on personhood before gender;

drii

setup

or skving

food

and

at the march’s end. Some forms of resistance to the march may emerge more subversively. Several posters around campus were torn down or vandalized. “Rare Means Jail”,

“Means Death” and “Nazi Ferninist RaIly” were written over a few posters. In past years, road side hecklers were not uncommon. Despite opposition, marchers continue to take back the night by affirming their right to be free from violence in the streets and in

the homes. They demand that the violence done to women be recognized and taken seriously. The Take Back the Night march is one event in which women may reject their identity as passive victims of violence and embrace the power of social action. If nothing else, it is an o~nortunitv to heal:

IN PRINT NEWS: Fourth woman attackedby cyclist*+.+pg. 3 FEATURES: InternationalAids Week........pg.15 SCIENCE: Order your baby C.O+D. I.*ll++,pg.17 SPORTS: FootballWarriors slopthroughthe mud for an ugly 204 win over Mac +.-eI ...........pg. 21 ARTS: ChannelZero:Don’t BelievetheHyp~~pg*3 1

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Fourth womm attacked on campus

IMPRINT * The UW Student Newspaper .

Ihliv~ityofwaterloo Waterloo, OntarioN2L

5194388448

Friday October 4,1$@6 Volume 19, Number 12

by Peter Lmardcm Imprint staff

ISSN 0706-7380

Editorial Editor in Chief Assistant Editor Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Features Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor ;ystems Administrator Proofreaders

Board Sandy Atwal Greg Picken Ryan C&n-Wing Peter Lenardon Greg K&chick James Russell Patrick Wilkins Jeff Peeters Ryan Pyette Tim Bondarenko Andrew Krywaniuk Gillian Downes Joe Palmer Klaus Steden Steven Johnston Mary Ellen Foster Rob Van Kruistum Emily Bruner Bernard Wall Mike Owen

Staff Business Manager Idvertising/Production Advertising assistant

Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas vacant

Distribution James Russell Jeff Robertson

c Board of Directors President Vice-President Secretary Treasurer Director at Large Staff Liaison

James Russell Peter Lenardon Ryan Pyetk David Lynch Jeff Peeters vacant

Contribution

nather woman has been assaulted in what Waterloo Re‘onal Police believe to be the fourth A? in a series of attacks near UW and WLU campuses, On Saturday, September 28 at 7:45 a.m. a woman was crossing ring road on Waterloo’s campus when a man on a ten speed bicycle came toward her. The man clutched her jacket and began telling her how attractive she was. The woman brushed past him, and when the assailant grabbed her again, the woman began screaming. The man rode away. The perpetiator in this caseis believed to have assaulted three other women since August: 14, All four attacks took place in the morning hours, with three occurring between 1O:OO and 10:30 a.m, In each case, the assailant is riding an older-style, blue ten speed bicycle. All four women have very similar descriptions of their attacker. The police report describes the man as having a dark complexion, dark clothes and short black hair, He is txtween 20 and 25 years of age, about six feet tall and has a slim build. He speaks with an accent and has a distinctive overbite. Last week, Imprint reported on the story of a woman, the second victim, who was jogging on Bauer Road near the optometry building. In that case, the man seemed to fall off his bicycle, and when the

imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (0CNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and eyery second Friday during the spring term.Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 07067380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L3Gl.&re-mailaddress: editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca. Our fax number is 884-7800. An on-line version of Imprint is available on the WWW at http:/fimprint.uwaterloo.ca/

Photo bv Peter knardon

woman attempted to run around him, the man seized the woman by the neck and attempted to pull her into the bushes. She managed to push the man away and find help at the university’s warehouse near CKMS, It took some time before Waterloo Regional Police connected al.l four incidents to the same attacker. The first incident occurred at the Laurel Creek Conservation Area near Beaver Creek Drive north of campus. The man rode his bicycle past a woman walking on a trail and patted her on the buttocks.

On September 18, a WLU student was walking on the path beside the animal enclosures at Waterloo Park when a man on a bicycle rode up behind her and grabbed her breasts. He then rode past the woman, stopped and attempted to grab her again. Area police placed posters on WV and WLU campuses last week warning students of a potentially dangerous situation. UW -students wanting to feel a bit more secure on their way home can call Walksafe at x.4949 or take,the Safety Van, available at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre.

Resumes for the world

List

Doug Brignall, Heatier Calder, Derek Depuis, Jenn Dad, Jen DiCresce, Raelene Driscoll, Chris Edginon, Alain Gaudrault, Natalie Gillis, Nigel Graham, Tori Harris, Claudie Heidary, Tracy Hunt, Robert Jackson, Niels J ensen, Frederick Lai, John Lofranco, Parking Lot is Full, Sarah Marchildon, Juston Matthews, Keven McNager, Tasmina Patel, Julie Primeau, J.l? Rosevear, Briar Rupert, Sikh Student Association, Lisa Sutton, Bernhard Wall

You need never walk alone.

New bilingual site helps students find jobs by Tracy Hunt Imprint St&

ndustry Canada is launching a new bilingual web site designed to help Canadian students fhd employment.

T%e NizM

Graduate

Re$itcr

(ZVGR)

al-

10~s students to post their resumes and to search through a database containing companies who want to hire students. The site’s official launch is not until October 15,19%, but students are encouraged to post their resumes now. The site is located at ngr.schoolnet.ca/ngr. To beenteredon the database students fill out a standard resume form which will appear on the NGR without any of the personal information (such as gender, age, name etc.) in order to eliminate biases in hiring practices. The form education, and experience.

focuses

al skills,

The userid and password are extremely important as they allow students to get back in& the database so that they may edit their resumes and check out potential em-’ players. It costs nothing to place a resume on the NGR, and students can visit the site twenty-four hours aday, seven days a week. Once posted, a student’s resume remains on the site u&l the student is hired or the student requests that the resume be removed, Right now the system is mainly designed for graduatir& or recently graduated (within the last three years) students. However, the system will also offer summer and co-op job listings for all students in the near fimre. The site includes cornpan& from all over the country,

and most

company

pro-

board as word of the NGR spreads. These companies cover all the different sectors of the economy? Each company profile includes a brief description of the company, how niany people they employ, where they are located, what their main products and services are, and who to contact for additional information about the company or possible job openings. Canadian companies are given access to this database to search for potential employees. All student resumes are completely anonymous until a company finds candidates theywishto intetiew, atwhich time~ecompany~n~~theNGR,w~~ releases all contact tiormatiun about the candidate tQ the company. The NGR will o’er students and *, graduates

a took to showcase

their

resumes

to a variety of top organizadons, and apply files include a link to the cornparry’s Web Students need to remember the pass- page making research easy. According to for posted job opportunities as well,” said word and userid they will be given. The ’ John Tran, coordinator of the NCR, Lc[at Michael Kavanagh, Manager of Recruitment Strategies for Rdyal Bank. password you create yourself, but the sys- present] the NGR has over one hundred For more information please contact tem creates an userid for you. Students are companies who are committed to using the the NGR toll-f& at l-800-964-7763, or NGR as a recruiting tool for their compagiven their userid on the second page tier they have filled out their name, address etc. nies, and we expect even mbre to come on by e-mail at ngrrnd@choolnet.ca.

NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday, October 4, 1996

Look, up in the sky!

Sybasehas evolved into a major player in the sofware/semices industry, and is now the 6th largest independent software company in the world. You can call it survival of the fittest if you want, but this is no textbook caseof evolution. We like t think of it as a phenomenal concept that was designed to meet our customers’ evolving needs and keep them ahead of the competition.

%dly, bungee jumping was not allawed. photo

by Niels Jensen

A work CIWV, compkte with a crane (shown on hand outside the PAS this week

above) was

Aneightmancrew&wepla~&gtheagkngconcretepanels CS, Engineering

or IS majors planning a future as an

on the roof and sides of the PAS. The constructLon completed by the middle of next week.

should be

ASSOCIATE SOFTWARE ENGINEER or ASSOCIATE CONSWTM should attend our:

Thursday, Octuber 24 Davis Centre Room 1304 & 1301 609pm

Friday, October.25 Sign up at he Cheer Center

Quest for fire by Derek Dupuis Imprint staiT

n ENmail: c&ge@sybase.com n FAX: (5 10) ‘9228002 l Mail: University Relations, Sybase, IIIC. 6425’Christie Ave., 5th FL, Emeryville CA 94608. Sybuse isantxpud op*ey eTnpbyerthatoaluesthesErength dive&j

brings to the t4od@uce.

ext week, October 6 to 12 is Fire Prevention Week. The theme of the week is uI.& Hear It For Fire Safety: Test Your Detectors.” This year K-W has been chosen by the Ontario Fire Marshd to be one of the kick off locations. As part of the activities in Waterioo, WW is hosting a Fire Safety Awareness Day this Thursday October 10 at the Student Life Centre (SLC). Between 10 a.m, and 2 p.m. everyone is invited to drop by the booths. On hand will be the members of the Waterloo Fire Department to answer questions, particularly those regarding student housing and their smoke detectors. A fire pump truck will be in the PAC Quad beside the SLC

with firefighters available for questioning. Bemeen 12: 15 and 1: 15 there will be a demonstration of the defibrillation unit that tie departmknt vehicles now have, to better respond- to medical emergencies. WV’s own Faculty of Engineering Fire Research Gfoup & also be at a booth displaying tie researchprojectsandavideohighiigh~theirinteractionswiththe fire services. Information will be available on the group’s hands-on approach to studying the properties of tie, including the studies done on simuladgas explosions, residential sknkler tests and he fire mini& and testing. ff you have any questions about fire safety, call the UW Safety Offke at x3587 or the Waterloo Fire Department at 8842122*

IMPRINT,

Friday,

NEWS

4, 1996

October

User fees at Carlton by SarahMarcMdon special to Imprint

arleton students may find their bar&accounts about $70 emptier next year if they vote in favor of a new technology fee during February’s student elections. David Holmes, Carleton’s assistant Vice-President of Information resources, approachedrepresentatives of the Carleton University Students’ Association curd Graduate Students’ Association to float the idea of imposing a technology fee during a meeting September 18. According to Carleton’s bylaws, the university can’t impose a new fee without either the permission of the two students’ association presidents or a referendum. Holmes, who also chairs a senior management committee on improving Carleton’s technology, says his priorities include heightening student access to computers on campus, upgrading the network system and providing direct -r*:i _, Internet accessin residences. :,,,,,;~-We would like to do more but we’re short of money,” says Holmes, adding the only solution is to have students pick up part of the tab. But while Carleton’s inadequate computer system needs ‘upgrading, the $oposed technology fee referendum comes at a time when cash-strapped studenti are dealing with rising tuition and increased service charges. ccIdo believe we need an up-

grade in our computer system,” says CUSA President Christian Dallaire. “AtthesametimeIdon’t know how much more the students can take in terms of student fees.” Dallaire says he wants Carleton graduates to be competitive in a computerized work world, but doesn’t support imposing a fee calling for a massive overhaul of Carleton’s computer system without a student vote. GSA&&dent JohnBilessays he is more concerned about the fact CUSA and the &A could be co4ecting the new technology fee. He doesn’t want the technology fee lumped in with students’ association fees because the computer services will be controlled and owned by the university, not CUSA and the GSA. That% why he’s lobbying university administrators to change the way the fee will be collected by turning it into an ancillary fee - ejctra money collected by the university for its operations~ similar to he&h servi&s and athIetics fees. “Ifit does pass referendum it should be an ancillary fee,” says Biles, ccIfs an advantage to both sides so it shouldn’t be a problem to get it in place.” Biles says he plans to adamantly oppose collecting fees for the computer services in fiture council meetings and discussions with the university. “Ifs got to go through a referendum regardless,” he says. Dal&e agrees-it has to go to a referendum, T the students feel that another $50 or $70 is the

right way to go because they need more computer knowledge, then for sure I’ll support it? While the exact fee hasn’t been established, $70 is an approximate figure modelled after the way Algonquin allege made computer improvements, Holmes says he is willing to gointonegotiationswithstudents to adjust the fee and find out exactly what they would like it spent on. “All of that is open and on the table,” saysHolmes, YXere has to be some more discussion on this? Although it may be premature to speculate, Holmes sayshe thinks the technology fee referendum will get the go ahead. Y get the impression this might be acceptable to students iffees went to where students wanted,” says Holmes. Y sense there was some agreement. ” The proposed technology fee is similar to the $50 fee engineering students have been paying to maintain and update technology in their program for the past two years.Ythinkthereisnoquestion this is something we need to do,” saysHolmes. The technology free is still at the discussion stage and Dallaire sayshe plums to bring the issue before CUSA council in the near future. ‘We have to keep up with the times,” saysDaMre. ccztjs uptoustotryandbringusupto speed with everybody? l%satik~rtUy

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Beating in the Guelph library womanimmediatelytiormedthe

by Nigel Graham special to Imprint

n Wednesday September 11, a male was seen masturbating on the second floor of the University of Guelph’sMcLaughlinLjbrary. He was arrested by campus police and charged with committing an indecent act. At approximately 8:45 p.m., a female student was seated on the second floor of the McLaughlin Library. When she glanced up from her position, she noticed a male in his late 2Os, with a thin build and dirty blonde hair. According to her account he was seated about five metxs away and appeared

looking

3-iaughv magazine while rubbing his crotch. When the student looked up a second time, the suspect allegedly had his erect penis exposed, and was maturbating.

who in turn contacted campus police. Campus police responded quickly. With the help ofthecomplainant, the suspect was identified and apprehended by campus police near the library entrance before he couldleave the premises. Campus police charged the suspect with mischief. After arresting the suspect, they brought himdowntowntocitypoliceheadquarters, where they were advised by a supervisor to proceed with the charge of mischief. At the accused’s September 20th court date, however, thepresiding Justice of the Peace would

can be either an indictable or a summary offense, the responding oficers were able to arrest the suspectandbringhimdowntown. Had the suspect been initially charged with committing an indecent act, which is only a summary offense, he would have had to have been released with only a fine and/or a notice of when to appear in court. Pat Hawk, head of Administrative and Facility Support Services at the McLaughlin Library, said the complainant responded to the situation very well, and advised any student confronted by a similar situation to either go directly to building surveillance staff or use any of the emergency

not accept

phones

library’s

The young

buildingsurveiliancesmff,

the charge

of mischief,

it was subsequently changed to committing an indecent act. Robin Begin, Community Liaison Officer for the University of Guelph police, explained that because the charge of mischief and

located

on every

floor

the library. They are markedwith a red stripe on the support column.

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NEWS

w POSTGRADUATE:

IMPRINT,

The Fed by-election: Meet the candidates

training - one-year accredited for Ontario Masters’ Degrees Professional certifications in many disciplined

an% handle the thrill of all four fed exec elections all at once? Well, now you have the opportunity to take this thing one at a time, as tie byelection campaign for vice President, Administration and Finance begins today The lucky person who gets this job will be handling YOUR money, in a very real sense of the word. See that $23.60 on your tuition fee statement) The VP! is the person responsible for deciding just where that cash goes each and together with the funds actually generated from these businesses, Ye= they are responsible for approximately $6 million annually. So take the time to read what the candidates have to say (there’s only two of them, c’mon you can do it, really!)

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E-Mail: kom@wchat.on.ca -kbu--w~P---w-f 133 w8b8r

Friday, October 4, 1996

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am extremelv excited to have the opportkity to run in the upcoming by-election to represent you as Vice-President, Administration and Finance. I completed four co-op work terms (The Hockey Hall of Fame, Del Wilber and Associates Sports/Lifestyle Marketing, Fair Play Canada, Bingeman Park) gaining valuable experience, skills and knowledge in marketing, promotions, public relations, strategic planning, and finance. This past summer I worked alongside your -Feds executive, seti and volunteers. I completed a contract as Corporate Sponsorship Coordinator and Special Events Assistant. I also was the Assistant to the Editor for the Feds Student Handbook. ADAPTABILITY: The successful candidate for the VPAF

position must be able to adapt quickly and immediately assume great responsibility, My recent involvement as a member of the Feds team is of enormous advantage. My familiarity with the way the office, the staff and the corporation work wouldensure a strong and smooth transition. I have developed an affinity for the Federation of Students and would like to continue to make a difference. ACCCKJNTABIIITY: The Federation of Students is a multimillion dollar corporation fLnded by undergraduate students. The Federation must become much more accountable to their shareholders - to YOU. Without students the Federation would be no longer. -Every business decision the Feds make is, or should be on your behalf You are the reason the Feds exist and they are

charged with providing quality services and experiences to you. The. Feds must continue to keep the best interests and quality of life ofUW students as their fm. AWARENESS: Students must become more aware of their status and power as shareholders of this corporation. Federation Hall, The Bombshelter, Scoops, The Used Bookstore, Fed Copy Plus, The Campus Shop, and The VarktyandPost; theseareYOUR BUSINESSES -YOU OWN THEM. The Federation of Students can no longer afford to blindly run businesses without sound reasoning and evidence that they are meaning&l to YOU. Through market research, feedback must be solicited to gather this evidence to determine success,longevity, and identify unmet needs, current weaknesses, and in&ciencies. ACTION: It is a time to plan for the future of the Federation a time for strategic planning. It is necessary for Feds businesses to formulate an alliance. They are not separate entities and therefore need a collective strategy. Investigation into sustaining f&g businessesmust be conducted and realistically analysed. The Federation of Students cannot afford a continuation of their recent financial loses, their livelihood is at stake. Very serious decisions must be made - action must be taken. My vision for the Feds integrates my high adaptability, and my commitment to the aforementioned issues of accountability, awareness, and action. I would like to apply both my co-op and Federation of Students experience to serve you as the next VicePresident, Administration and Finance. Please remember to vote on Tuesday, October 15 and Wednesday, October 16. Ifyou have any questions please contact me at veharris@ahs Sincerely, Tori Harris

IMPRINT,

Friday, October

NEWS

4, 1996

-Jenn Devall

Imprint News Next week: Food Services

n fiscal 1996, four ofthe seven Feds’ Businesses operated in the red; Copy Plus and Fed Hall lost $54,000 and $73,000, respectively. The Campus Shop was close behind with a $31,000 loss. These kinds ofnumbers can’t continue, and the solution I propose is two-tiered. Firstofall,Iamafirmbeliever in market research; I% seen the influence it carries in a corporate setting with both management and investors, and the sharp insight it can provide. I think it can be a very etfective diagnostic tool for the underperforming businesses, For example, I think that many people assume Fed is losing money due to a simple fad. .*but why has the Bomber not suffered from that same problem? What is it that’s right about the Bomber? There are many questions to be asked. If people are not going to Fed, where is it that they’re going? Are they staying home? Going to Louie’smore? Going downtown? They’ve got to be going swbm. Does Fed need more seating? Is the pricing right? Is the food good, bad.. does the average student even know Fed Pizza exists? Where there’s a problem, welldesignedmarketresearchwill get to the root of it. The same kinds of questions can be asked about Copy Plus, the Campus Shop, and the Variety and Post. Working closely with the managers of each of the businesses,I think that the Federation of Students can reverse the trend of deficit spending that has been seen in recent years. Secondly, I believe promotions must be put into high gear. Included in the market research would be a determination of student awareness ofeachofthe busi-

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nessesand services, to ensure that the Feds are channeling current promotions efforts into the right areas. The second stage would be a review of operations. Again in partnership with the managers of the businesses, an analysis ofstaffing requirements, hours of operation, layouts, etc. may lead to smoother, more profitable businesses in the long term, As a student in my fourth year of the Science and Business p’ogram, with 3 work terms un-

So there 7ougo - yl bu’ve read whal hasagoatthl se prospect ,vestudent bea week’s issue 1ill feature n depth interv: Imprint will be hosting ts own forum very informa ive earlier t us year, so gra will be held i 1Village tc let the studenr on campus. 5ere’s a M list of session

der my belt, I feel well equipped to take on the responsibility of VI?, Administration and Finance. Through my work terms, I have gained significant experience in the key areas of finance, marketing, and administration, as well as sight into the finer points 06 how large corporations are run.

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Any questions can be directed to me by email at jydevaU@sciborg . uwaterloo. ca, or in person at any of the three upcon&g open fo&.

the candi ltes have to say, now sta icounters I find out where they re; EWSwith ( e candidates, and this cl nthegrea hall ofthe SLC at 11:3( 3 some 1u1 :h next Tuesdav and list body ask le candidates ill those f

uned this 1 reek asIm y stand on he issues! ning Tues ay (Octet 1.m. The9 forums p1 h-l. hwr L other fc @g que: tions of fi

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Tuesday October 8,11:30 a.m. - great hall of the SLC, hosted by Imprint Wednesday October 9,530 p.m. - V2 C&&a Thursday October 10,530 p.m. - Vl Cafeteria No really, it WILL be entert&ing...and Xormative too. Want to cast your vote wisely? Take ten minutes (or hopemy more) out of your day, attend one of the forums, listen to what they have to say, read Imprint...but most of all cast a vote on October 15 and 16.

oftheirrkipectiveholders.Frlcesaresubjectto changewithoutpriornoIke.Prkesarecashdiscounted. Wereserve therightto limitquantities, Imagesandbgosarecopyrightedix design1996“on Approved Credit.

Khalra

w& refund your fee ($411.00 this term) if you don’t have a job by the time exams end. Well, not really, But wouldn’t thit be great? Think about it: how many &xh get doubly stung, fast by dishing out a huge wad just to be in co-op, and then again by spending their first work-term waiting tables at O’Toole’s? If coop fails you, the least they could do is give you your money back. It’s not as outrageous as it sounds, Real businesses do it aU the time: the money-back guarantee. If you’re not satisfied, you don’t pay. Companies do it because they have to fight for their customers. Co-op doesn’t have to fight for its customer, they%e got us pretty much in the bag. But that doesn’t mean theycan’t adopt some ofthe more progressive customer servicedevelopments from the real world. A money-back guarantee would look very good fbr the entire department. As it turns out, co-op has already consideredsomethinglike this. In February 1996, they put together a committee of about 10 staff and students to look at the partment

by the Sikh Student AStiti0n

During the summer of ‘95, Jaswant Singh Khalra, a middleaged soft-spoken Human Rights activist from India, spoke in the Parliament Buildings of Canada on the ongoing Human Rights abuse by police and paramilitary forces in the Indian state of Punjab. A few months later, upon his return, he was abducted by the police and has not been seen since. In order to make the general university community aware of thetragiccircumstan cessurrounding the fate of Jaswant Singh Khaira, a fate that has befallen countless other Human Rights and Civil Liberties activists in India, the University of Waterlo Sikh Students Association is cosponsoringaspecia.l”K.haIraDay” on Oaober 7. Mr. Khalra was the General Secretary of the Human Ri&ts WingoftheSharomaniAkaliD~ thepreeminentSikhpol.iticalparty in Punjab, India. He was investigating the wide-spread sdisappearances” of Sikhs at the hands of police forces in the state. This investigation had uncovered the illegal mass-cremation’ grounds used by the police to eliminate over 25,000 “disappeared” civilians. TheTamTararQdistrictof Punjab) Police force was cited by Mr.Khalraashavingbeenthe source of at least 6,ooO of these extra-judicial kill+.

In January 1995, Mr. Khalra formally presented this information in a legal case his organization launched against the state, in whichhewasakeywimess. Khalra was reportedly threatened by police personnel that “if25,OOO can be ‘disappeared,’ what’s one more?” On the morning of September 6, 1995, at 9:15 a.m., as Jaswant Singh Khalra was washing his car, identified members of the Tarn Taran police force abducted Mr. Khalra in front of witnesses. He has not been seen since. Mr. Khalra’sf~yisafSd that he too may have become another statistic in the same disappearances he was investigating. The Punjab Police continues to deny having Mr. Khalra in its custody during Supreme Court hearings, but many human rights groups, such asAmnesty Intemational (which has been denied access to Punjab for over a decade), fear he may have been tortured and/or killed. Inorder to commemoratem --the one year anniversary of Mr. Klkdrak Disappearance, the Sikh Students Association will be holding a Langar (Free Community Kitchen) in the Multi-Purpose Room of the SLC, on October 7, from 11:00 a.m.- 1:30 p.m. All university and community members are requested to come out and taste the &ee Sikh food and honour a fallen human-rights activisL ’ ’

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been done. But one inter&ing development that did surf&e from the discussions this group had was that co-OD thinks of itself asa kind of job ficihtator, providing students the resources tofind jobs on their own. It doesn’t like to be thought of as a job placement agency. But of course, that’s exactly what it is. By creating a structured job searching, interviewing, ranking andevaluation process, co-op has effectively taken upon itself ultimate responsibility for whether or not you worknext term.Co-op is there to get us jobs, period. They can call it what they want, but if you don’t have a job by the end of the exams, co-op has provided you with nothing. A “partion” of your fee refunded? No, give it all back. But how can the department possibly a&ord such a thing? Well, if we pretend that everything coop currently spends money on is an invaluable service and cannot be cut, this programcanstillwork It will mean, however, an increase in the co-op fee. A simple example: for the 1past summer worka.

up f;or the lost revenue, the remaining 90% would have had to pay 11% more into-op fees. That would have been $457 instead of $41 I. Nobody-wants to pay more money, but think about it. For $46, you have the unconditional guarantee that you will get either a job, or acheque for $457 to get you started on your own personal job search. But even more importantly, it sets a precedent for co-op. By taking this step, co-op would begin to acknowledge some of the realities that the bulk of the department seems to be ignoring: that co-op is a service organization. That its most importantcustomer is the undergraduate student, That everyone in Needles Hall has an obligation to help students get jobs. Maybe someday this will lead to anew co-op, ace-op thatstands behind its commitments, rather than its rulebook. But for now, ids take it one step at a time. Agree? Disagree? Contact Students Advising Co-op, e-mail @~.-.a

SIRCing for answers by Julie Prim-u VP lllternal Federation of Students This past weekend the Fed executive, some of the Fed support staffandI participated in the MDS Walk 96 that began in Victoria Park. To be perfectly honest I have not participated in such an event for a very long time. As I recall, the last time I went around collecting pledges it was for the MS Read-a-&on and I was ten years old. Not to say that I have not donated to charity in over ten years, but simply my role was much different, So what inspired the Feds to lace up their running shoes on a Sunday morning and walk for the cause? I will have to give credit where cr&it is due because it was Heather - the Student Issues Resource Centre coordinator that got us started. Hea&er encouraged us to get involved and even went so fti as to challenge the Laurier executive, just to make it more furi. (And I might add that we kicked their butts!) Please excuse the long-

windedness, but I am about to get to my point. It felt really great to be out there raising money for a good cause, and there are events like this going on ail of the time. So how do you End out about events like Take Back the Night or the AIDS Walk 563 Well, I have to say the Student Issues Resource Centre has a lot of this information available, as well as ways to be involved in such important issues. So what is the Student Issues ResourceCentre(SIRC)an~ay? It is a new service provided through your Federation of Students that exists in order to provide students with tiormation about non-academic, non-a&inistrative issues that concern them. The SIRC does this in five ways: 1)lnformation: The centre has a growing collection of pamphlets and bc&s, as well as a database

3)Pubc Issues, Eender Issues, andHumanRights&nmittees: These committee exist in order to do project work and research about various issues. 4)Peer Health Echcation. This is a peer-based program to reach out to students about health issues.Itcantaketheformofbuddy programs, workshops, and informationsessions and is run by concerned and trained students. 5)Student Watgreen Network. Thisstudentinitiatedandrunprogram exists to support staff and faculty work to ‘@ee” the UW campuswithintheboundsofwhat makes economical sense. The SIRC has been put in place to better serve the student body by creating links to other areas aroundcampus as well as in the community. lf you are interested in learning more about the SIRC or in becoming a volunteer

with

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help answer your questions. 2)Prm: The SIRC has produced posters, compiled journalsandiswilling~doeducational~throughworkshops or a speakers’ series.

to check out the centre for yourself The SIRCisanotherwaythatwehope tocreatebetterlinksbetweenthe students and the resources availablemhem.

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Friday, October 4, 1996

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Share ,&e. Night

The forum pages allow membersof the University

of Waterloo community to presenttheir views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint. Imprint is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1.

t may be highly inappropriate to criticize the Take Back the Night marchers the same week that Imprids lead story concerns a potential rapist on campus, but then, that’s the whole point. You can have all the demonstrations you want, but the psychos will still prowl your neighbourhood. The general statement made by the Take Back the Night march was that women should feel safe to walk their streets at night without fear of attack and without the protection of males. Who, aside from rapists and sociopaths don’t agree with this claim and do the hrementioned miscreants really give a shit about such marches?This is a clew caseof preaching to the converted. With all due respect to the women who participated in the Take Back the Night march, it was a waste of time and a htile public demonstration. One of the most offensive aspects of this march was that it excluded men brn participating in the actual march (but were allowed a token appearance at a later stage.) While I might not personally appreciate the march itself, ifsuch demonstrations are to be organized, it is unclear as to what exactly the exclusion of men from the march is supposed to accomplish. The march itself is supposed to be some sort of demonstration of women’s right to walk the streets of their town without fear or some equally vague tenet in support of women (or %omyn” whatever), however by excluding men, the implied assertion is that women need to be made safe from aEl men. People generally participate in public demonstrations such asmarches for two reasons: to increase public recognition for a cause, or immediately after an event. Neither reason seemsthe exclusive realm of women. From the point of public recognition, it doesn’t seem in any way possible for violence against women to get any more publicity. It is a regular topic of discussion in virtually all media American and Canadian. While some may argue that this topic can’t get “enough” coverage, they are utopti who will march until all violence is eradicated, and assuch, will march for the rest of time, Thcpc&~Twouki2rgue,istomoveaway&om~ “public recognition” and toward community-based programs that help victims of such crimes and, ideally, enact programs to prevent similar crimes, Are men expected to participate in such programs? I would hope so, but if that is the case, then why ostracize men when it comes to public demonstrations in support of this cause? It is a sad fact of Life that rape will never disappear, the same way that murder, theft, armed robbery and paedophilia are more than likely going to be a fact of l&e for a long, long time to come. There will always be brain damaged cretins prowling the back alleyays of our streets and we will always have to be wary of them. To fight the good fight against these animals, it would seem that men and women working together would a&eve more than women alone. If so, again the question that arises is, why exclude them men participatiug in demonstrations? The feminist movement is a highly fractured, discordant movement that suffers because of its lack of focus, I know women who have participated in the Take Back the Night marches who beheve that men should be allowed to join them. I know women who have participated in the marches that think men should have absolutely nothing to do with such demonstrations because they are all, deep down, potential rapists. It is the latter sentiment that concerns me. How is a man supposed to ract to women who wish to exclude someone from protesting violence just because he is a man. I would hope that the reaction would be one of disgust. I am not a rapist, or a potential rapist and I will continue to take it as the gravest insult to be lumped in with killers and sadists.

Searching for value Are students being ripped off?

e have seen, especially prevalent in last week’s Imprint& that students do not believe that they are getting good value for their dollar. Jennifer Paine saw it at Kinko’s, Andrew Jay Kwak with Fed Hall, and Kelly Foley (VP ofEducation) with regards to tuition. We have seen it in other places. on campus. Places where students spend a lot of their money. Firstofall,abouttheUVVBook Store. Doug went in to purchase a course book there, but on a whim, he did some furtherinvestigating to P~OII@S find a lower price for the book. He found the book was $15 less at coles - atColes!! PlustheUW Book Store is notorious for caking a month to get books in when stock has run out, whereas at Coles it would only take a couple of weeks to get the book in (even ifthey don’t carry it in stock). Where’s the Ccvalue”of this %ervice” at the WV n -1 Book Store? And where does their profit go? The second ‘Value service” we are concerned about is Food Services - Brubakefs is a good example. Now before we lose the readers here, this isn’t another bitch-fest about how they charge $ I.44 for a chocolate milk that in another store one can buy for $1.17, or their other rip-off prices for pizza and pastas, but rather it’s a question about where the profits go. Brubalcer’s makes profits exceeding hundreds of thousands of dollars. Does this profit lower the cost of their food? A third example of questionable Value” and ‘%ervice”

is the Apple II hair salonlocated in the SLC. While not run by UW, by virtue of their location they should have some accountability to students. They have prices and service practices which could certainly be regarded as suspect i.e. inconsistent prices in male haircuts (ranging fkom $9 to $16 plus tax), and an instance where Briar paid full fernale haircut price for a quarter of an inch trim,

Bmbtzkerk maks

ZgE%ZZ?iC$.;2it .

exceeding

hundreds of thousands of

a ‘t a few examples of the high cost and poor service students areexpected to swallow without anv exulanadon. So whit’s ;lur point? Not to be %ude and selfish” as Dr. Heather are, but to show our concern about

PrOfit lower the cost g;+g;f~z~mdse~ce l

1c4

OJ UwwJood?

Dr. MacIvor saysthat students are “cavalierly throwing away the money that they, their parents, and the &payer h&e in&ted in their education,” but are we to take all the blame? We believe that it’s a two-way street. In order to have good value for the dollar everyone needs to help out, and good service is a part of it. We’re asking ifthese services can show us how we’re getting good value for our dollar.

- Doug B*mll, m SocAd lJelw*t Kevm Minqpr, 2N GmmlAw, B&W R+w$ 2YVH-P-T Sucioh,yy

Studks,

Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters should be 500 words or less, typed and double-spaced or in electronic form, and have the author’s name, signature, address and phone number for verification. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

She loves to see the CBC To the Bditor, Unlike some oftbe respndents to the Campus question, I would miss the CBC terribly and not just because of HL&vJ N&+2 Cud or Don Cherry. Programs on CBC radio such as Mmning~~&, As ti Hnppms, Xduu, and lht Tb ofnbGlV#~~ are all excellent programs that are informative and enjoyable. These shows attempt to explore issues and ideas that other mediocre programs ignore. In a very disorderly world, CBC mdio co~ects people. These connections are impomnt and necessary. Ifwe lost the CBC we would be forced to listen to and watch more American&l programsandthiswouldbeaverysadstate ofafErsindeed.Personally,Iwould~ Peter Gzowski over Baywatch any day.

CANPAR bogeys Tot&eEd;*, “It is CANPAR’s poiiq not to contact customers befbre returning packages.” Debbie Gilmet, CANPAR Service Representative Does this policy sezm a bit odd to you? At best, it can be an extreme annoyance, and at worst can mean a lot of wasted money to their customers. I’m writing this letter in order td let fellow students know of my encounter with this particular policy, so they can avoid a similar fate. My work term this past summer was in Sudbury, and not having a car, I found that the cheapest and most convenient way to get my belongings back to Waterloo would be to ship them. Dan Gelinas of Pak-Mail in Sudbury agreed, and recommended CANPAR as being cheaper and just as reliable asUPS, in his experience. So, I cardidly padaged my worldly belongings and labelled each box with the destination address and my parents’ phone number in caseof any dif&&ies, and sent themoff. Totalbill: $202.63,includingtax and $7 for a proper box for my bicycle. Certainly cheaper than renting a van, and it saved a lot of time for me. A week later, my roommate in Waterloo called me at my parents’ house saying that they had found three notices stuck to the door saying that CANPAR had tried to deliver the packages. Nobody had been in so they had shipped them all back to Sudbury. My landlady had seen the notes and called CANPAR to ask &em not to do so, but it was too late. Puzzled, I called Dan Gel&s back and asked ifthis was true. He said yes, the 14 packages had mysteriously reappeared on his doorstep that morning. I explained, then asked why CANPAR had not called me after the first failed delivery attempt. After all, my phone number was on every single package and the delivery slip! That question was passed

on TV CANPAR, who quoted the above policy, which has been in place fbr eight years. Surprisingly, they had had very few complaints in the past. This struck me as very odd. People have jobs or classes and cannot sit at home for days on end wait@ forparcels. IpointedouttoCANPARthat a $2 phone call would probably have saved them the cost and trouble of shipping the parcels tirn Waterloo to Sudbury. They had no answer to that. Not only that, they refused to ship the parcels back down to Waterloo, unless I paid the full $202.63 over again. It was as if the tit shipment had never taken place. I consulted a lawyer, who admitted that I was stuck because their “don’t keeD the customer informed” policy did cover Ltiem legally. My packages were hostage. So, as I desperately needed my belongings (clothes, cooking supplies, etc.) in Waterloo,Ihadtopayallovei-again. DanGelinas was very understanding, and Pak-Mail in Sudbury covered their portion of the cost, and is still ‘at bat for me in the f$ht to get this amount reimbursed to me, or at least to get~AR’soutrageouspolicychanged. Total bill this time: $172.04 Can you imagine: Acompanythat keeps its customersinthedar~evenwhentheirchargesare about to double f&m $2OO.to $400? Well, there is such a company, the@ called CANPAR. A saner solution would have been to call, or keep them at the local depot so the customer can at least pick them up at their own expense. What ifsomeone uses CANPARfortheirownbusiness? Dothey have to call their own customers and tell them to stay put so they don’t miss their important deliveries? Sheesh Time to call up the Better Business Bureau.

Editorial

Notice

The recent discussion on the topic of horn00 sexuality has clearly run its course. Letters and comment pieceson the topic of homosexuality will only be accepted by Imprint if they are deemed to add a new dimension to this debate. Questions, comments as well as charges of ten* sorship and narrow-mindedness may be sent to: editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca I -Sandy Atwal, Imprint, EIC

Pete

Nesbitt

and

Pat

Spacek

Bellabarba clarifies hiring Since I received your letter [Imprint September 20,Ombzu@~titi~~~we~z+ Haiti?] on September 3, I have endeavowed to get in touch with as many people as possible to try and respond to the concerns that you have about the hiring of the temporary Ombuds-n. Udortunately, Marianne Miller, the Ombudsperson currently on leave, was incommunicado, making my response slower than I would have liked. On behalf of the Ombudsperson Advisory Committee, outlined and named below, I will attempt to address all the issues raised in your letter to me and to the Imprint. You suggest that the hiring was orchestrated by Marianne Miller, the Ombudsperson at the time. You tier suggest that a specific criterion, namely a course in dispute resolution for students, required for the position was left out of the job description,-and that, as a result, you were not selected for an interview. You went on to say that this was done intentionally so a “preferred candidate” would be given an unfair advanqe by ensuring that all other candidates would be Ynherently weaker? In truth, hiring processes d.ictaW l continued to page 12

Channel surfer’s nightmare.

12 l

FORUM

continud

from

page

that when allcandidates have similar qudificaticms, any additional criteria not listed in the job descriptionwillbeconsidered. There was never a “preferred candidate.” All of the people who ultimately received interviews had similar, though not identical, quaMications for the position. The amount of time given to the hiring process was also called into question. The ad was placed on July 10, and the job was to start on August 1. This three week period allowed enough time for approximately eight people to apply to the position, and three candidates to be selected from among them for interviews. Furthermore, the start date of the position allowed for the outgoing Ombudsperson to train her replacement over the month of August, as her educational leave did not start until September. Completing the hiring process in mid-August would have allowed less time to train the successti candidate. Your last, and possibly most 0fKensive comment was in regards to the overall hiring procezis. You suggest that Marianne was the only person who reviewed the applicants and that she hired her replacement, thus creating a possible conflict of interests. In reality, applications were reviewed by Bob Sproule, the Feds General Manager, as well as Marianne.

IMPRINT,

Friday, October

4, 1996

The selection of the successti candidate was conducted by the 0mbudsperson Advisory Com-

mittee,coqmsed ofBob Sproule; the GSA President, Burton Empey; the Associate Provost of Human Resources and Student Services, Catharine Scott; and myself. Although not all members of the .committee were able to participate in the interviews, Bob Sproule,Marianne Miller and I were able to intetiew the three candidates. All three had excellent qual&ations, and we eventually selected Angela Cheung as our unanimous choice for Ombudsperson through April 1997. It does not strike me as unusual that Marianne was involved in the process, as it would seem sensible that a person leaving their job in good standing should be involved in selecti@ their replacement. In your closing remarks, you ask Vho is watching the watchdog?” The answer is the Ombudsperson Advisory Cummittee, chaired by the FEDS General Manager and including a voting member from each of the FEDS, the GSA and the UW administration. The committee membership ensures fair representation from all of the segments served by the Ombudsperson, and it is to these people to whom the Ombudsperson reports. I am sorry that I was unable to respond to this letter sooner. I l

continued

to page

By Kelly Foley, Vice President Education The views in this column don’t necessarily represent you or me. If you agree or disagree with the views expressed here then let me know. Speak for yourself!

AsIwasriflingthrcw.ghthe

assorted papers in my office, I found a document called The Report of the Committee on the Future Role of Universities in Ontario. Thedocumenthails~m 1981, the era when the Ministry of Education and Training w& the Ministry of Colleges and Universities. The minister at that time was Bette Stephenson. Ironically, more than a decade later, Bette ads herself’ on the Advisory Panel on Future Directions for Post-secondary Education. Apparently, the government has caught on to the retro-trend and is offering its own ’80s night. You’ll also notice that 1981 was a particularly tough time economically, and here we are again in tough times. This time the government finds itself with a debt that makes me feel good about my visa balance. At the root of it all is the question, YVho should pay for what?” Academic infighting behveen faculty, adxninislxators and government has squashed the question for a number ofyears

but always leaves it unanswered. However, this time around studentsjointhemixinameanin@ way, if only to offer resistance. We too will get an opportunity to kick at the dead horse. If the question, who should pay for what has not been answered philosophically, in reality it has meant that students pay as much as they can get away with chargingusandrising. Apopular response to higher tuition has always been, Ws worth it.” Of course it is. But it)s also worth it for the government to fund universities. You will never find me arguling in favour of zero tuition. Students get something out of going to university so we should pay for it. However, every Canadian gets something out of university so they should pay for it too. One of the societal benefits I am referring to here is research. Pure and applied research has short tertn directben&tsandlongtermindirect benefits for society. These include increasing G.D.P, higher

standard living from new services andindustr&&c. Tuitionshould not be used to cover the cost of research. Flit is, then it is nothing more than at* for the knowledge infrastructure that makes this country work. In 1992, students paid approximately 20% of the cost of operating Ontario’s universities. That’s not very much and many would argue that students receive more than 20% ofthe benefits. If you remove the cost of research from that figure then students paid 36% of the teaching costs. However, that was in 1992 when your tuition check only had three numbers on it, Now, on average, we pay over 36% of the total operation. Our share of teaching cost in 1996 would be well over 50%. As I look into my crystal ball I see that tuition will go up again. So, I ask you what’s your ftir share? Have I answered the question? No. But I’ve come up with a couple ofbetter questions. Anybody out there got the answer?

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Friday,

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to choose

I think it’s time Native people make a choice. A choice between the traditional way of we and becoming assimilated into modem so&v. This week, a native Gas arrested for trying to transport goods, including a washing machine, across the border without paying duty. He insists that this is legal due to a 202 year old treaty. Concessions such as these have been numerous. The most prominent example is that natives do not pay GST. Now I’m not denying that native Canadians have been given raw deals by the government. Their lands have been taken, communities have been relocated (i.e. Davis Inlet) andtheirtradidonal~yoflifeirrevocablyaltered.However, some natives seem to be using such arguments for a rather non-traditional end - profit. One situation I h&d about involved natives claiming that they were not bound by government fishing regu& tions as fishing is part of their traditional lifestyle. However, these natives were planning to use this unrestricted fishing to sell fish at times when non-natives could not legally fish, making some big bucks in the process. I do not completely buy the native victim ideology. Natives eagerly accepted European technology (guns, metal implements, etc.) when it was first offered for the same re&ons that we accept new technology today -- it makes our lives easier. Now they want to Rive it all back? Let’s look at the traditional way oflife for a minute, No literacy, no antibiotics, no running water, hunting with a bow id arrow. Such a life cannot-be easy, and it is due to

this fact that natives learned to use every part of every animal they killed. It was out of necessity -- they could not afford waste. Personally, I find it hard to believe that people want to return to this state. Natives are demanding the return of their traditional hunting grounds presumably because they want to hunt, but are they willing to relinquish their rifles and snowmobiles for bows and snowshoes? The people of Davis Inlet are not demanding to be left alone. They want running water, furnaces, less cramped living conditions, fiuxtioning outhouses. These are not demands to return to the traditional way of life. I am not happy with the current policy of constantly subsidizing many natives. I think those that demand a traditional way of life can have it. Give them some land, and that’s the end of it. Ifthey want to be hunter-gatherers, so be it. Leave them alone. The only other option is to become full members of society, and accept the duties and responsibilities of every other Canadian. No tax-exempt status, no right to transport goods across the border tax-free, etc. Will their culture be destroyed? Sure, as every culture is constantly being destroyed by change. But can it survive? Of course. Go to Toronto and see Chinatown or Little Italy, or Greece, or Portugal, etc, Becoming regular members of Canadian society does not mean a culture dies -- it adapts and can prosper. The time of special Status has passed. The time for choice has come.

Friday Af&rnoon Salon October 11 (Fri), 3:OO pm, WPIRG Of&e Our regular Friday afternoon (horn now until December) with the open agenda - politics, what’s in the news, economics, technology, the arts, culture, whatever - just bring a mug to mull over, and we’ll provide the snacks. Endangered Spaces: Algoma Highlands Slide Show October 8 (Tuesday), 12 Noon, SLC Multi-Purpose Room About 100 kilometres northeast of Sault Ste. Marie lies Algoma, 750 square kilometres of rugged cliffs, raging rivers, and ancient forests. The province of Ontario plans to provide greater road accessand construct various bridges and gravel pits throughout the Highlands. Forestry companies includingMa&illan-Bloedel want to harvest the rich forest resources, leaving only inadequate bufYer zones around lakes and near roads. The region provides crucial habitat for wildlife species including bald eagles, wolves, lynx, pine marten, three-toed wood-peckers, black bears and osprey. Sightings of the eastern cougar, an endangered species, have also been reported. In May, a small victory was achieved with logging in the Achigan old-growth forest section of Algoma postponed for at least 28 years. Find out about alternative plans that would achieve higher long-term economic and ecological benefits. The choice is either to weave the Highlands into a network ofprotected areas stretching across Ontario’s Near North region or reduce it to just mother network of clear cuts and roads to nowhere. EAR Training Workshop October 9 (Thursday), 6:3O - 9:00 pm, WPIRG (Xl!ice Get in-depth training on the Environmental Bill of Rights and apply it by educating local citizens about the EAR and how they can use it to protect the environment. Trainingandon-goingsupportfromMan.ikDuggar, St&with the Environmental Commissioner of Ontario. Limited spaces - reserve your spot by calling WPIRG.

A few of my favourite As a student of the English langu.age...ump, no. As someone who’s read broadly...ump, no. As someone who reads on occasion (yeah, thadl do), I’ve started to notice some funny words being tossed around in the media. Ignoring, adownsizing,” CSoutsou.rcing,n?he information superhighway” and other abhorrent terms, the following is a list of some of my favourites: Consortium. As in ua consortium of banks.” Funny, what ever happened to the word “group”? Of course, it’s got nothing on consortium. Damn that’s a cool word. A word fit only for banks and other large corporations. Can you imagine a consortium of students? A consortium of student newspapers? A consortium of churches? I can’t either. Incidentally, Collins lists a second, legal definition: “the right of husband or wife to the company, assistance, and affection of the other.” I’ll leave it to the more brainwashed left-wing proponents reading this to invent their own dogma relating this to evil banks corporations‘ Redundant. This one is a favourite of ne Ewnmkt and other British publications. It means unemployed. No kidding. In North America, one is unemployed, which is unfortunate, but it at least means you could, in theory, be employed. Not so in Britain. You are redwadknt. Adding nothing of any value. Unnecessary or superfluous. If you thought being unemployed was a blow to the ego, try being redundant. Man, thafs gotta suck. Maranello. First and foremost, home to the most beautiful automobiles in the world. Second, the name of

terms

Ferrari’s new 550 Maranello, the company’s first fronten&xxi car in quite some time. Maranello, It roils off the to;;gUe musicaiiy. Pretty fitting for a place that produces rolling pieces of artwork I should stop before I say somethhq really cheesy, Too late. Exchange programs. Did you know that the Canadian military has exchange progrm with U.S. officers? I’ve heard of exchange programs involving work and/or study, but this one takes the cake for hands-on experience. would fbuow orders from &change Apparently, VI-p officers provided they were lawful and in line with rules of engage&en&” accorhing to a spokesman for Defence Minister David Collenette. Pm still working on how this would differentiate exchange officers’ orders?Om those of Canadian officers. Disregard. See above issue. Dan Alvis, a former Green Beret officer, told ne Globe a;ndMkil to disregard the quote the paper took when he said he gave an order to a Canadian soldier to shoot a civilian in a puck. “D&egard” is probably related to General Jean Boyle’s phrase “do not recall.” Boring. Used by Z+e Gl&e md MS in referring to CPAC, the channel I confessed to watching in last week’s column.. That hurts, but I did say that my iife may be deteriorating. By the way, if you’re thi&i.ng of writing a witty letter to the editor saying ?3oring. Used to refer to Dave Lynch’s column.. . ,” forget it. Well, actually, there’s not a helluva lot I can do about it, but it won’t be as witty now.

Video Lunch: Sisters in the Struggle October 10 (Thursday), 12 Noon, SLC 2135 Features Canadian Black women who are active in community orga&ing, electoral politics, and labour and feminist organizing. 50 min. Nigeria, Shell Oil, & the Ogoni People with Diana vviwa October 10 (Thusday), 7:30 pm, SLCMulti-I)urpose Room Today marks the birthday of Ken Saga-Wiwa, a Nobel Prize-nominated writer who, along with eight other members ofth.eMovement for the Survivalofthe Ogoni people, were executed earlier this year as p+rt of what Amnesty International calls ‘Lthe continuing suppression by the Nigerian authorities of the Ogoni people’s campaign against the oil companies? The muhinational Shell Oil gets a seventh of its world production from the Ogoni area [404 square miles] and it alone provides over 40% of the federal government’s revenue, Dr. Gary Leton, the ex-Chancellor of Rivers State University inNigeria, on the destru&on the Ogoni have suffered: “Our atmosphere has been totally polluted, our lands degraded, our waters contaminated, our trees poisoned, so much so that our fIora and fauna have virrually disapPeared. We are asking for the restoration of our environment, we are asking for the basic necessities of life.” Today, more Ogoni sit in prison facing execution, Diana Wlwa and her husband Owens, brother of Ken Saga-Wiwa, left Nigeria for Canada this past JuQ. She will be visiting UW to talk about the sh=uggle of the Ogoni people and the impIications for Canadians.

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hope that I have managed to clear up any misunderstandings that may have come to @ht. It is my hope that this letter will also disperse any doubts that may have been cast on the competence of the temporary Ombudsperson. I am confident that we made an informed and impartial decision, and that we selected the most q&ed person to fill this impor~troleforthenexXsevenmonths.

’ Does Arts f inance education? To the luim, I am a 3rd year Political Science major at UW, Today my roommate and I were walking across campus on our way to class. We had just passed some people who were discussing the tierent programsoffedatWaterloo.The conversation, although it was private, was loud enough for us to hear every word. They were discussing the quality of the Engineering program, the merits of Architecture, and the good reputation of Math. I have no qualms admitting that these are very good and important programs. In fact I am proud of all the program offered at Waterloo and the reputation we have both in Canada and worldwide. To my horror md disbelief their conversation shifted to Arts and the fact that “+..they are just here to pay the bills.” I was completely offended by this remark and had I not have been rushing off to class I may have confronted them. Now I know that there is, and probably altiayshasbeen,astigmaattached to Arts students, but usually it is by other students. The pple who were having this conversation were not students at all. I can not say for sure if they were faculty, administrators, or just visitors but the fact remains that the notion that we are unimportant, at an academic level, is absurd. We are here because we want to expand our minds and prospects. Even though we do not build bridges, design skyscrapers, or solve complex equations we do contribute to society in profound ways. The spectrum of occupations coming corn Arts is the broadest of any faculty on campus. We are the newspapers you

IMPRINT, read, the TV you watch and the teachers you respect. Our role ifl society should not be minim&d and we are here to do more than “pay the bilfs.”

Commending Imprint Rarely in the six years that I attended the University ofWaterloo did I see many letters which commended Imprint stti on a job well done. Well, this is such a letter. Over the years at Waterloo, readingIm@ntbecameaweekly habit, and one that I didn’t think much of. It was only tier moving to U of Saskatchewan and reading their sorry excuse for a student newspaper, l%e sheaf, that I realized what a top-notch publication Imprint has been over the years. While I have not always agreed with the opinions of writers and reviewers, at the very least, Imprintarticles haveusually been insightful, well-written and thought-provolcing~ Thank you for going on-line, and may you continue to stimulate and entertain the minds of the UW community.

Sloanly londy

the

Before you read this, you should know, I am a fm of the Imprint concert review section. Having braved Friday’s hurricane and the threat of those oh-so-easy parking tickets at the Physical Activities Centre parking lot, I grabbed my fresh copy of Imprint, fully prepared to indulge in the accolades that Canada’s premiere musical outfit was no doubt to receive Needless to say, I am as much amused as I am devastated at whicJxx@ePatrickWilkinschose to tackle his review of&e much anticipated Sloan performance at Fed Hall. Pathetic? Boring Surely Mr. Wilkins could not have possibly attended the same concert my friends and I did. To base an entire concert review on a band’s

Friday, October 4, 1996 %ck of movementn cries inexperience and borders on stupidity. Having notched a good lx&a-dozen Sloan concerts under my belt, I will admit, they may not havebeeninaspeachyamoodas usual (only slightly, though), but to call them boring is en erratic suggestion. Mr. Wilkins, you claim that the music was ~technically perfect? yet you manage to whine for a 111 ten paragraphs about how ‘disinterested the members of Sloan appeared. When the hell has a band’s visual technique become more important than their musical ability? Ifyou are as big a Sloan fm as you claim (and I do not doubt that you are), you will probably know that their greatest criticism has been their ‘inabiliq to accurately play their instruments in a live setting. Perhaps this has been corrected at a tiny price, for Sloan sounded (this is music, tier all, not the petting zoo) as polished as ever. Besides, even on a bad night (Pm still not convinced that this was), Sloan is superior to most other bands in that crucial visual category. Despite your fears, Mr. Wilkins, rest assured: Sloan’s carnival-like concerts are not a thing of the past- I happened to attend their sold-out gig at the Concert Hall in Toronto the night previous, and witnessed several visually entertaining moments. Fun Part #l: as Mr. Pentland’s speaker collapses, Mr. Murphy and Mr. Scott engage in a brilliantly spontaneous version of “Deeper Than Beauty,” and as the song winds down, Mr. Ferguson storms the stage and begins wildly shaking his maram andhis assasthe crowd goes wild. FunStatistic#l: ontheright, Mr. Murphy petiorms no lessthat 13 David Lee Roth-like scissor kicks in perfixt form, with bass fillly intact. Fun Part #30: for the night’s encore, the boys’ erect a piano (surely a fkst) and Mr. Scott leads the bands through a rivetting version of UA side wins.” FunPart#67: Mr. Pentland, after encouragement from the crowd and Mr. Murphy, smashes his brand new guitar (given to him on stage as a birthday gifk) into hundreds ofpieces andthrows it into the crowdand: I’m not sure if this part matters, but the music was fucking awesome. Well done, Mr. Wilkins, but I’ll be sure to give you a call the next time the “Ringling Brother’s Circus” comes to town so that youcanentxxtainthosepoorbored eyes of yours.

A Dav in the LZe of Seropositivity So you think you know all there is to know about AIDS? Think again. by Heather Cal&r special to ImpsTint

his is not the usual a&k about AIDSandHIV. . Somewhere between hearing about Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome in gym classand watching the movie Philadelphia, you have heard about using a condom. You know to wash your needles out with bleach if you are an injection drug user, although heaven knows none of us are into TV drugs and certainly none of the people we hang out with are. You know that not all people who are HIV positive or have fkll-blown AIDS are gay. Some of us have even stopped listening* So, this is not going to be the same old song and dance. This is not the use-thecondom-every-time lecture that you are used to. Peoplemakemistake.s,andoneofthem is that they get a little excited, maybe they’ve had a lot to d&k and that new person seems really attractive, maybe they don’t want to spoil the moment, maybe they’ve noticed that there are no distinguishing marks on their beloved’s genitalia, and so figure it’s okay. Maybe they just don’t want to bother this time. Just this one time they want to kissali~ebit,whisperthose~~ornaughry words into their partner% ear, stroke their fingers along that thigh and then make love with all they have. Without the latex and the nonoxynol- 9. But sometimes it is hard to make mistakes and then admit that you have especially ifthe sex was so good that you want to remember it just like it was, no consequences getting in the way. Sometimes all we hear from the people who talk to us about sex is that “if you’re going to have sex, use a condom. Every time.” How can you walk into adoctor office and sit there, waiting nervously in the chairs outside, flippingthroughamagazinethatyoudon’t care about, kno* that you are going to getalechue?. Well, let’s say that this time you have madethatmistz&.Youhavehadsex, maybe it was great or good or even mediocre sex, and you didn’t use a condom. You think about ir, and you feel a bit bad about it. You figure that with all you have heard on the radio and television., with all that youzIe seen in the papers, with the Names Qtit and the fLndraisers and fke condoms at the Turnkey Desk, you should know enough about HIV to go get checked out. Youknowthedif!KereX&etweenHIV (often called the virus that ieads to AIDS) and AIDS, how when you have a test they are testing for HIV antibodi~, and if you

test positive that means that the virus is present in your body. You know that HIV takes over your T-cells, so that whenever some nasty greebly enters your body, the hemophages (those handy little things that sense an intruder) setid out their warning signals, and the T-cells (that are now really HIV cells) multiply. You know that when there are enough of these HIV infected Tcells, your body can’t fight off these greeblies any more. You become susceptible to opportunistic infections-like some kinds of cancer or pneumonia or constant yeast sections. This means that you have m-blown AIDS. But you know all that. So this time, this one time that you made a mistake, you decide that it% time to find out if there are consequences. So you go to the.Duke Street c&k at the AIDS committee of Cambridge, Kitchener-Waterloo and Area (ACCKWA) onThursday evening (between 47), because you know it’s anonymous, You know you could have gone to Health Services to have a co&dential test, but for this first time you have chosen to do this anonvmouslv. You fillout a form and describe’ what kind of risk factors you have, and that you haven’t been tested before. Since it’s anonymous, you decide to mention that time you shared a needle with someone at a party last year. And then, tier you think about it for a second, you mention that you have had anal sex before. You take the form upstairs and talk to the Public Health Nurse. She counsels you a bit about your risk factors, andthendraws a bit of blood from you. She doesn’t lecture you-after all, she knows you are human and that people do all kinds of things. She doesn’t judge you like you thought she might.

AIDS vie

need support as much as they nad medicine.

the door. The same nurse is there. She smiles and you, and then gives you the news. You are HIV positive. You feel alone. You isolate yourself You start to tell people bit by bit, and you realize that this may mean that you will die sooner than you thought. In fa& you have

This is not going to be the same old song and dance. This is not the use-the-condom-every-time Zecture that jou are used to. You wait for a week Every day you think about it. You drink a little bit more than you usually do. You are feeling nervous. You go back for your test results, and your stomach flops as you walk through

never really thought about death befixc, always assuming that you will live forever. Suddenly it is staring you in the face. You are angry at yourself. Couldn’t you have prevented this from happening? Was this somehow your fault? Does God, or whatever kind of higher being you be-

lieve in, hate you? Is this some kind of revenge for what an ay&l person you are? You don’t want to face anyone because then they will know how awfbl you are. Then they WU know that you have done something, something that you thought wasperfectlynorn~alatthetime,that caused you to be infected with HIV. You cry a lot. You start to go back to ACCKW& txcause you e that you can’t just sit in fear in your house until mmeone &KIS you theti.YoustiUhavethingsthatyouwantto do in your ML The people at ACCKWA teach you how to deal with all of these emotions, and steer you to a cktor who -can start to treat you now. You realize that you have to tell the person you had that glorious/okay/bad sex witi about this. You avoid it for a few days, butrealizethatyouhavesomeresponsibility for that person because you had sex. Thank heaven, the person tests negative.

So now a whole bunch of new things enter your brain. Who did you get it fi-om? Who have you passed this HIV infkction to, this burden that sits on your shoulder l

confinawd to page 16

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forever like a ton of bricks? You contact the people from your pas& those you can remember and ask them to be tested. It is painful. You consider taking up smoking to help you deal with the hurt. Then you remember that you have to take better care of yourself now. You go to school, but you just don’t want to get involved like you used to. Your grades are su.Kering. You attend support groups and start to be abIe to talk about these things with wno don’t have HLV or ALUS, you thmk, may not react so well. They may ask why you need special treatment, just because you are HIV positive. They might want to know if you think you are so glamorons now, since you have the famous person’s disease. TVhat about all those people with cancer?“, they will ask. Won’t they deserve just as much support and fmds for re?CUXh?”

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Friday, October

You don’t know what to say. You hear from all those people you contacted, and most of them test negative. But you know, don’t you, that they have to be tested again. As do you. Slowly, really slowly, you start to live again. You know that you may not show symptoms of infection for a while, maybe years. You have read about people who

never seem to develop them. You know that there are some treatments out there that you can try, although nothing has proven very successful so far. You know that you need love and support, and you are scared. What if there is no one there for you? What if, just what if, you die alone? But I don’t need to tell you aI.lof these thitlgs.

You know, don’t you? This weekis NationaMIDSAwareness Week Learn abut AIDS. Think about it. Act. Choose safer sex practises and choose to use new needles every time you shoot up. And if you make mistakes, don’t be afraid to admit them. Just make sure that you are okay.

For Genetic Engineering by Andrew Imprint

Kqwaniuk staff

t is easy to condemn the idea of genetic

engineering on principle without stopping to realize that it is merely the accclcratim of a process that occurs naturally. We ;Ire generally not attracted to ugly or unhcalthv people because ofour unconscious dcsir~ ;O h& healthy, good-looking

hind genetic en$nccring; it is just less reliable. This is merely a result of the principle of natural selection, but it is particularly apparent in the field of animal husbandry where new breeds can be created in just a few decades. In what way is altering the shape ofa dog’s head through selective breeding fundamentally diErent fi-om modifjring its genes directly? The latter process is actually less destructive to the breed in the long run because it does not encourage the degenerative conditions that often result from inbreeding. Still, there are many arguments against genetic engineering from

moral, scientific, and religious viewpoints. I wti address these issues and discuss some of the biological mechanisms behind them in the rest of this article. While advanced genetic engineering is not actually feasible at the moment, I am confident that we will someday he able to build the DNA sequencer from Jurassic Park, plug it into a computer, and design our children. Sperm banks will go out of business and men evcrywhcrc will complain that tcchnoloby is taking away their jobs. I don’t claim that we will ever be allowed to

order our children C.O.D., but 1 am sure we will have the means to do it. One of the principle questions we will have to answer is what constitutes misuse of the technology. It is hard to argue that the correction of physical birth defects such as Down’s syndrome would not be of practical value to society, but it is still not likely to win the support of Jehovah’s Witnesses who are still protesting the concept of blood transhsions. And even among those who agree that destructive syndromes should be carrected there will still be arguments over where to draw the line between correcting mutations and playing god. Furthermore, it is a lot easier to detect a harrnti mutation than it is to correct one, which brings up the tired issue of abortion (which I have no intention

of discussing).

According

Medicare?

Hair

tively constant portion of our population even though they tend to have less children than hetcrosexuais; the reasons for this are technical and I would like to establish a bit

of background

material before I discuss

them. One might guess from prevalent attitudes that some heterosexuals would prefer to have straight children (and perhaps the opposite is true of gays?), but any attempt to control factors like these through genetic engineering is going to cause a huge debate. Perhaps a fair definition of a dehabilitating mutation (one that needs to be corrected or, perhaps, aborted) is one that seriously detracts from the quality of life or chance of survival of the child. But even this distinction is vague and subject to the whims of society. It might be argued that being born black in Georgia in the days

before slavery was abolished would have seriously detracted from one’s quality of life.

So even this argument is not purely *and white. One of the key factors in the process of evolution is mutation. Natural selection guides adaptive traits towards maximal survival and reproductive capabilities but there has to be an initial mutation that introduces the trait into the gene pool. There are essentially two types of mutation. One type occurs when the DNA within a cell is damaged. One way this can happen is if a radioactive carboi 14 within the DNA black

spontaneously decays into a stable nitrogen isotope (carbon 14 can be produced by cosmic rays or nuclear fallout). Normally this mutation will be confined to one particular cell - unless it causes that cell to become cancerous, - but if the mutation occurs in a sperm or an egg then it will affect every cell in the child’s body. The other type

of mutation arises from a deliberate action of the human reproductive process. The chromosomes that make up our sex cells

only the driving force behind evolution, it is also the process that keeps our genes from decaying into randomness. Unfortunately, the luxuries of modern technology and medicine have altered the process of natural selection so that they are no longer on our side. Instead of favouring the physically fit or the mentally superior, nature now dis-

colour

seems Iike a a big issue, but

rather small de&l in such what about altering a child’s sex... or sexual orientation? In China, where f;unilies are assigned a quota of only one child each, thousands of baby girls are abandoned to

- Ruul Julia in Frankenstein Unbound contain samplings 0fbothou.r parer&genes in long strips. Occasionally, the dividing line between these sections occurs in the middle of the encoding of some important trait, causing unpredictable results. The general rule in genetics is ‘use it or lose

if.

While

some

mutations

produce

useful or benign results, the vast mGority of them are hard; natural selection is not

criminates against the socially inept. Even this lofty barrier has not prevented humans from

taxing

the

Earth’s

wisdom teeth. When you think about how many people wear glasses you have to figure that our eye-sight didn’t used to be this bad in the times when we had to depend upon it for our survival. There are only three proactive ways to counteract this downward trend: selective breeding (B.F. Skinner’s choice for his Walden 2 utopia), selective murder of the unfit (i.e. selective breeding), and genetic engineering. When you look at it from this perspective, genetic engineering seems by far the least intrusive of the three choices. So far I have only discussed the preventative benefits of this technology. We

to a

recent report in the London Times, China is in the process of employing selective breeding practices to ‘improve’ the population. This program of eugenics is reminiscent of the Nazi practice of sterilizing people who are ‘Unfit’ to reproduce. It is generally agreed that genetically determining one’s child’s hair colour would be frivolous and excessive, but does that make it morally wrong? Or should we just label it cosmetic surgery and not cover it under

die every year. Allowing parents to preselect the child’s gender would solve this terrible problem (however it might cause equally severe social problems twenty years in the f%ture). The issue of sexual orientation is even more touchy these days. There is no question that homosexuality is, cvolutionarily speaking, a negative mutation, but gays continue to make up a rela-

resources.

But,

because we have achieved unchallenged domination over the world, our race is weakening. After millions of years of living underground, mole rats have lost their ability to see. They still have eyes, but they are useless relics, the mole rat equivalent of

could also use genetic engineering to speed up the progress of evolution. Although we are fairly well adapted to our environment, we still have nagging remnants of our collective past. One of our greatest flaws is that our brain does not control our bodies at a conscious level. We have a tendency to overeat, left over from the days when we didn’t know where the next day’s meal was coming from. We are crippled by pain even tier it has served its purpose as a warning sign. We cannot consciously suggest to our bodies that they heal themselves, yet we of?en l

continued

to page

SCIENCE

18 l

continued

from

page 17

respond to placebo drugs. As our ofour genetic code progresses, we may be able to cure psychological illnesses before they start and even create a new breed of humans that are better adapted to our present environment than we are. On the other hand, we could create a race of slaves who enjoyobeyingoureverycommand. But we must be careti. Before we make sweeping changes to the biology of the human race we must be sure that we understand the 111 effects ofour actions. For example, one of the genes that has been linked to sickle cell anemia is also known to protect against malaria. The dorementioned experiments in dog breeding are proof that unchecked cosmetic manipulation can have undesirable consequences. Breeding Colunderstanding

lies

have

narrow

heads

has

caused them to become exceedin&y stupid; breeding Bulldogs to have large heads has necessitated a large number of Cesarean births. Breeding Great Danes for their size has made them susceptible to heart huas

attacks;

breeding

Chihua-

for their size has shortened their vocal cords, making them

yappy and a~oying. We may also want to consider the impactofour experiments on society. The quote at the top of the article is from the movie&a&vztiek Uvzbu~~L Raul Julia plays a scientist who discovers the secret of creating life and uses it to create his monster. But he is no madman; he is Prometheus, who would give knowledge to man not caring how it is used. In his mind, the means justifies the end. Those who have seen the film may have noticed that it also alludes to the development of the nuclear bomb. I would like to close, as I promised earlier, by speculating on the causes of homosexuality. Although I do not expect that it is possible to discuss a controversial topic without upsetting someone, I would like to state clearly that I am confining my discussion to the biological causes of homosex-uality without making any sort of moral judgment. One of the intriguing things about genetics is that men and women differ in so many different ways even though we share 45 of our 45 chromosomes. Not only are we physically different, but there are many psy-

chological differences as well. There are genes that cause men to

be attracted to women and viceversa. What is more interesting is that, since women have two X chromosomes and men have one, men’s genes contain all the requisite information to develop into women (just clone the X chromosome and save thousands of dollars in operations), including the tendency to be sexually attracted to other men. Obviously, this trait is normally suppressed somehow by the presence of the Y chromosome, probably because it is regulated by hormone levels inside the body. But, in a system as complicated as human sexuality, mutations are bound to occur. Some mutations might change hormone production levels; others might change the triggers that cause sexual attraction. So homosexuality is amutation; should that change our attitudes? Blond hair is a mutation; there was no need for dark hair in northern climates so the genes that produced the pigment gradually eroded. But, reproductively speaking, homosexuality is unquestionably disadvantageous, so we should expect our bodies to have natural defense mechanisms. One ofthose mechanisms is guilt. Due to the natural erosion of our genes we are prob-

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tors and their gods. Questions have already been raised about the use of genetic engineering to create new strains of vegetables that are resistant to disease; the debate surrounding modification of human DNA will be even more f%rious. Regardless, modern medicine, pesticide use in farming, and selective breeding have already caused us to stray from the ‘natural path’ of evolution. The question is.., how far do we wan&o go?

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and welcome.. . Allow me to stereotype mysell: I am Andrew Krywaniuk, science editor for Imprint. This term I’m going to attempt to resurrect a section that has suffered from a lack of interest in recent years, a bizarre fate when you consider UWs reputation in the scientific community. My vision for this section encompasses the three Rs: Readable, Relevant, and i&Resting. Rather than focussing on the arcane or the highly technical aspects of science and technology, I intend to concentrate on topics we can all relate to. The subject of genetic engineering interests me because it is currently plausible and it gives rise to a plethora of

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utside of the scientific community there exist a good number of amateur scientists who come up with elegant theories of every variety. One of the more amusing theories is that of the Aquatic Ape. Convential hypotheses hold that man is descended from a treebased ancestor, but the Aquatic Ape Theory (AAT) has a different explanation: competition for f& forced a branch of pre-humans to live in the coastal regions OfAfrica and hunt for food in shallow water. Man’s reduced body hair is a selected trait which enabled him to swim fzter, thus giving him a survival advantage. The theory was proposed by Elaine Morgan and is based on an idea that first occured to Alister Hardy when he read the following passage: “The peculiar relatiun of the skin to the underlying superficial fascia is a very real distinction, familiar enough to everyone who has repeatedly skinned both human subjects and any ofthe other members of the Primates.” (from Professor Wood Jones’s book “Man’s place

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ably all a little bit bisexual, but hard-coded guilt (which can also be manifisted as hate) keeps most of us on nature’s course. So that’s the choice we must make. Genetic engineering offers us the chance to repair the defects in our bodies that pure reactive medicine cannot cure, but it also gives us limitless opportunities to modify the design of the human form: to be not only the parents of our children, but ho their crea-

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Friday, October 4, 1996 . -

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IMPRINT,

1 I

the Mammals”). Hardy also noted that humans possess what is known asthe diving reflex. When aquatic mammals make deep dives, their bodies compensate by cutting down blood supply to the extremities (but preserving supply to the brain and heart). What remains to be determined is whether this is merely a vestigial trait in mankind or an actual adaptation. There is plenty of evidence to contradict the AAT. The loss of body hair is a method of facilitating persperation, and the architecture of the human hands reveals that they are better suited to climbing than swimming. But the ridicule ofscientists has made Morgan a martyr for her cause. The Journal oflrreproducible Results even published a satirical article glori-

among

fyingtheAerialApeTheory,point-

ing out that our long legs are suitable for use as landing gear. AAT believers are upset that scientists refLse to dig for skeletons along the African coastlines. Meanwhile, the conflict rages.. . Nakedness: Sweat or Swim?

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Warriorswin ugly by Jeff Peeters Imprint staff

nly one word is needed to describe last Saturday’s OUAA football contest between the Waterloo Warriors and the McMaster Marauders : ugly. The playing field conditions at Les Prince stadium were horrible. There was just as much mud on the field as there was turf. The weather was cold and it had rained, leaving everything wet and slick, These things contributed to the ugliest part of the whole day: the game itself. In what was one ofthe ugliest offensive performances in recent memory by both teams, the Warriors out-uglied the Marauders for a less than impressive 20-9 victory. The Warriors did it with defence and a strong effort from the special teams I.&& both of whom combined to turn off the Marauder offensive machine in the second half’ to preserve the victory. The defer& held the Marauder offence to 143 total yards. Waterloo kicker Arek Sigos outpunted his Marauder counierparts to consistently pin the opposition deep all day long. Almost all of the second half was plaved on Mac’s side of the field, 1 ’ The Warrior offence, for the second week in a row, was simply

not executing well. The running game managed to amass 197 of Waterloo’s 23 I totaI yards on the day, but this was lariely attributable to the fact that the Warrior passing attack apparently did not make the trip to Hamilton. Quarterback Ryan Wilkinson was l-of-9 for 34yards with one interception, but ian 10 times for 49 yards, including a clutch 19-yard touchdown run in the third quarter that put the Warriors ahead for good. The muddy conditions made cutting by the receivers nearly impossible, which would explain the unusually low passing numbers. Marauder quarterbacks Ryan Hume and Feras Ismaii threw five interceptions between the two of them, giving the Warrior defence more pass catches (five) than the offence (one) for the game. The Warriors looked good early, with Eddie Kim blocking a Marauder punt to give the Warriors the ball at the Mac V-yard line four minutes into the game. Two plays later, Kim brokiloose for a?24&rd touchdown run to give the warriors an 7-O lead. - Shortly tierward, the Warrior defenCe had their only real lapse of the day, allowing Mac to march downfield almost at will and convert a third-and-mal at the Warri& five-yard lin; for a Marauder touchdown, The convert attempt was bobbled and the kick was nb good. Late in the quarter, both quarterbacks exchanged fi3mbles and Sigos had a long field goal attempt. The kick was short and Marauder John Fleming ran the kicl!cback64yardsundlwiion, the last man back, tripped up Fleming and saved a touchdown. Early in the second quarter

on the same Mac drive, the Marauders attempted a trick play, f&g a field goal attempt. The special teams made up for the earlier 10ng runback by reading the play and stopping it cold for a turnover. Later in the quarter, a second Wilkinson fumble and two stupid penalties, for pass interference and a facemask, had the Marauders threatening to score again. The defence

came through

and held Mac to a field goal. Still, the nationally ranked Warriors were losing 9-7 at half&ne to last-place McMaster and something needed to be done. Thafs when the defence stepped up and took control of the game.

The 5tat;s W&t&W 20 score 2 Touchdowns l-3-18 Field Goals Made-Attempted&q 3 bui3= 0 Safkty Touches 231 Net TotaI Yards 11 First Downs 39-197 Rushkg Attempts-Yards Rushing 5.1 Yards Per carry l-9-1 Pass Compktions-Attempts-Interceptions 34 Yards Passing 3.8 Yards Per Attempt 3-2 Fumbles-Lost 8-72 Penalties-Yards Lost 8-303-38-54 Punts-Yards-Average-Long 4-228-70 Kickoffs-Yalddong 7-91-13-33 Punt Returns-Yards-Average-Long l-27-27-27 Kickoff Returns-Yards-Average-Long

puntingPetiormancef?om Ismail was giving the Warriors good field @sit&n, and the offence finally capitalized, with Wilkinson running for a N-yard touchdown to put the W&ors ahead 14-9 fou&inutes into the third quarter. A Sigos single, four mi.nut& later, made it 15-9. With just under six minutes to go in the third, W-on complGedhisfirstandoniypassoft.he day, a 34-yard strike to Rick Shea, which set up a Bigos field goal. Another Sigos single mad& the score 19-9 at the end of the third. Athird single from Sigos rounded out the scoring in the fourth quarter, but the Marauders weren’t through yet. Late in the game, Mac finally found their way into Warrior territory, but Tony Garland’s second interception of the day at the Warrior lo-yard line stopped the drive. Two subsequent interceptions by Shawn Dysonand JasonTibbits thwarted other last-ditch Mac efforts and sealed the victory. While the bottom line is that theWarriorsgotthe”W,“itwasn’t a very impressive one against one of the worst teams in the’OUAA. Tomorrow, the Warriors (3-l) play the hated, but undefeated,

*I=

Western Mustangs (4-O) at University Stadium. The Warriors wili have to improve their offensive

performance on the artCal turf Chile the defence must come UP big again if they hope to upset the pCiW&fill .Musta.ngs. Game time is 2 p.m.

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Athena soccer prevents a secondbi Mac attacI! by Raelene Mscoll special to Imprint

ast Saturday was the date of redemption for the sotcer Athenas, as they set out for some payback for an earlier seven-goal loss to the McMaster Marauders. The Athenas’ first game of the season wasadisparaginglosstotheHamilton hornetowners, by a score of 7-O. Saturday’s 2-2 draw could not have surprised the visiting team more. The turnaround is due to an ongoing process of simpli@ng theAthen& game plan tOits f&damental elements. Recognizing the individual talents of the team members, coach Bruce Rodr@ues catalyzed their impact by focusing each player on the two or three elements she does best. This . tactic, while certainly leaving room for personal creativity during the natural ebb and flow of any game, allows the team to reorganize its efforts when its opponents appear to gain control. The Marauders spent most of + continued

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the first half on the defensive, as the Athenas controlled the ball with smooth, one-touch passing on the ground. The Waterloo possession of the ball was guaranteed by winning most of the 5050ballsintheairandonthepitch. Nearingdesperationatbeingcommanded by a team they highly underestimated, the McMaster front six attacked on a ball launched from their defensive line; this vulgar kick-and-run effort scattered the Waterloo defense from its elegant positioning and converted into a scoring opportunity to make the score at the half l-0 for M&taster. True to form, the hometown side regrouped and pressed on with vigour. On a corner kick rebound to the 30-yard line in the Marauder end, everyone watched in disbelief as a screaming shot from newly returned veteran midfielder Melissa Man&i hune high in the air out of reach of l&l Mic keeper and dropped into the net. This goal was the tangible element the Athenas needed to prove that they were serious contenders in this game. An answering goal to put McMaster ahead 2-l came at 70 rminutes; the Athenas have established themselves as underdogs this season, however, and still did not count themselves out of the garne.Luck&heformofaU-star contending goalkeeper Nicole Wight, was on their side. Wight was in form, as usual, despite the muddyandfrictionlessconditions she had to contend with in her sixvard box. A McMaster scramble no front of her net was pacified by her nimble reactions, only to lose

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theballwhilemud-wrestlingwith Mother Nature. AMarauderwas standing on the goal line, ready to plunder the loot and boot the ball into the net, only to find herself grossly &side and have her “goal” called back. This obvious tid on the Waterloo side incensed the Athena goal-scoring leader KimRau, and on aMargaret Coreycornerkick justminuteslater,Rauleapedhigh and headed the baJl and the M&laster sweeper into the Mac net. The score was finalized at 22. Though the Cinderella Water-

Lai

loosquad(thedarlingsoftheOW conference) was pleased with its moralvictory, it was disappointed to have squandered the chance to shellac Mac. The Athenas are on the road ti weekend to Western, on Saturday at 1 p.m., for their &t matchupa@nsttheMustangsand to Guelph on Sunday, also at I p*m., to better their l-l draw against the Gryphons. The next home game for the Athenas is Wednesday, Oct. 9 at 3 p.m,, whentheyhosttheWindsorLancers at Columbia Lake.

Rugby burn by J.P. Rosevear specid to Impht

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Friday, October 4, 1996

The darlings of the OVVIAA l

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IMPRINT,

e rugby Warriors went downinanothertoughloss as they reached the haKway point of the season. A key defensive lapse with less than ten minutes remaining gave the game 20-16 to the Guelph Gryphons. The game was hard fought by both teams, with momentum chan@nghandsseveraltimesdu.ring the game. Steve Goodacre opened the scoring for the Warriors thirty seconds into thegame byconvertingaGryphonpenaltyfkomthirty metros out. Guelph picked up the pace by punching in a try around the Hieen minute mark and making good on the conversion. They extended their lead by making a penalty kick of their own. Not to be outdone, the Warriors struggled to equalize, and were rewarded by a try with five minutes remaining in the half. The Warri-

orssetupastrongmaulandAda.m Donaldreceivedquickballtocrash throughfromfivemetresout.T.he two teams went into the halfwith the score tied. The ruggers came out and dominated the start of the second half on a field whose condition was quickly deteriorating in the wet weather. Strorrgpmssure provided by solid rucking in the forwards and strong running in the gaps by the backs put Guelph under pressure, forcing them to coughuptwopenaltykicks which were easily made by Steve Goodacre. In the last twenty minutes, patchy midfield play by the Warriors allowed Guelph tospend a majority of the time inside the Warrior twenty-two metre line, and the Warriors returned three points to Guelph on a penalty kick. continuing poor midfield play forced the Waterloo players to make several goal-line stands. Desperate heroics could not hold the pressure forever, and the in-

ability by the Warriors to push upfield finally yielded a try by the Gryphons in which they mauled the ball into the end zone. The Guelph kicker made the convert and forced UW to go in search of a try. However, the Gryphons effectively kicked for space during the remainder of the game and shut down the Warriors. The junior varsity Warriors contimed dxir fine season by tieing Guelph 3-3 in a grinding game played in a sea of mud. Scoring for the Warriors wasTim Fin&y, who made a penalty kick from nearly 35 metres out to tie the game early in the second half. The tie keeps the junior varsity Warriors in good contention for theirplayoE&itha2-l-l record. The varsity Warriors are now 0-3-1witi~egamesl&.Strong

pe~ormancesareneededtomaintain their outside shot at a playoff spot. Tomorrow, the team travels to York, against whom they gained their only point.

IMPRINT,

Friday, Octobe-r 4, 1996

For Athenajeld

SPORTS

hockey...

Campus Ret Try-A-Triathlon results

The time is now iid%ed themselves as contenders by defeating the teams they were vdtobea\m2-0over here are points in every Guelph, besting McGill 2-1, smashing Carleton 3-0, and ownseason where a tearnmeasT ures the stufftheyk made ing Western 4-O. of. For the Waterloo FieldHockey Bernice Willemse, the Athena Athenas, one of those times has of the Week, led the A’s wonderarrived. fid week by scoring four, while Tomorrow in Toronto, the mi&eIder Amy Adair and foryoung second-place A’s take the ward Dawn Culverson both potfield against the third-place York tedapairinthefourwins. Yeowomen in a mid-season clash. Athena coach Sharon Waterloo, at 6-l-1, is a mere one CreeIman, a York alumnus herpoint ahead of the 6-1-O self, knows that this game with Yeowomen in the fight for the York is a big one. ‘To tih secimportant second-place standing. ond, we’re going to have to beat The top two teams after the six- York. They’re different f?om last teen game schedule receive a bye year. Theyre still scoring goals, to the semis of the OWIAA finals but they’re stronger defensively. n Evidence of that is York% at the end of this month, and with stingy goal allowance total, a mere the Toronto Varsity Blues riding a nine-game winning streak to two in seven games. However, start the season, first place looks the Athenas are noslouches themlike a passing hey for York and selves. One of the keys to victory Waterloo. this weekend will be the continLast week, the Athenas SO- ued excellence of first-year go&

keeper Leslie Alexander. The Waterloo native has stepped in to replace graduated legend Yolanda Lewczuk and has impressed Creelman. Czeslie has the capability to be a better goalkeeper than Yalanda was. She’s athletic and works hard.” Strategically, the Athenas hope to employ their team speed and contain York’s talent-laden offensive weapons. “zfwe can win the little batties on the field, we can succeed,% observesCreelman.“falentmeans nothing if you work harder.” By the time Saturday’s game ends,bothCreelmanandherplayers will have learned a little something about themselves. Something that, even though it is only mid-season, will tell them how far they have to go, how quick they must mature to secure another banner. Simply put, this is just one of those times,

ampus Ret hosted 44 individuals and one team at the 1996 edition of dxe C “Try a Triathlon” on Saturday morning. AU competitors faced the environmental arsenal of Mother Nature. Neither rain, cold or fog could deter these brave souls. Emerging from the warm waters of the 800-yard swim they were greeted with bone c.hUing wind and ram. Over the next hour or so they would cycle 2Olcm and run 5&n around Ring Road. If battling the elements wasn’t bad enough there were a few absentminded drivers who did their utmost to impede (kill) the athletes. Emerging victorious fbr the females was Amy Jti, with an overall time of 1: 1 lS2, thirteen minutes ahead of second place Ame-LiaTanburrini. Val Walker rounded out the top three, posting a 1:26.28. On the men’s side, Mark Adams finished first in a time of 1~10.45, just ahead of Trevor Denstedt(l:11.20) and Andrew Moffatil: 12.22). The sole relayofferczaMace1 andKirkDillabaughfrnishedwith

a sccmhing time of 1:07.50. Thanks goes out to the voi-

unteerswhocountedlaps,m the water stations, and directed tic. Also, thanks to thespectatars who cheered on the athletes. Results fxum la&Friday’s 8OOm sw&/5K run biathlon and swim meet with the Toronto Varsity l3lues and the host Brock Badgers

by Jsmnd,le&hJn Andrew Moffat jr!@, bid&n Tremor Denstedt

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The Jaguar runs again Langton made her comeback this weekend, and, still nursing a sore ankle, took the third spot on the he rain poureddown hard, Waterloo women’s team, Lynn Coon and Kim Ross, along with all the way across Ontario and right into La Belle Wendy Stretch, all ran strong Province -- perfect weather for races, as the Athenas defizated all Cross Country running. As with of their Ontario competition, losany road trip, half the b was in ing out only to the host McGill getting there, but when they did squad. The team has been showthe Warriors and Athenas were ing consistent improvement all raring to go. The rain slowed season, and with the strong onedown just enough for race time, two punch of LeRoy and and the conditions were wet and DiUabaugh, and another veteran, cool, just the way Waterloo TULI- Sepanta Dorri, still waiting for a ners like it. chance to compete, Waterloo is a The story was a familiar one legitimate threat to win the for the Athena Cross-Country OWIAA title. team. Sara Dillabaugh and Judith The 4km course w& run at LeRoy dominated the field with the site of this year% CIAU chamimpressive second and fourthpionships, and if their dominaplace finishes, leading the Watertion this weekend was an indicaloo women to second place in the tor of things to come, Waterloo team standings. Veteran Kim should be & the hunt for a high by John

special

Lcdianco

to Imprint

placing at the nation& as well. On the men’s side, hope springs eternal for the future, as a young six-man team, with three first year runners, once again showed improvement. Led by Chris ‘The Dancing Machine” Watson, BreffXi~ Kilty, a late arrival from Ottawa, and freshman Stephen Drew, the Warriors inched closer to their OUAA competition, Jeff “Eagle Eye” Irwin, and Johnbfranco (alsofirstyear) rounded out the top five for Waterloo, as the entire team finished within less than a minute of each other, with yet another frosh, Vince Conte, closely behind. The course will be extended to IUlcm for the CIAU championship race in November. Also running for the first tiine this year, under the banner of Waterloo Alumni, was the Warri-

ors’ assistant coach and former Waterloo running great, Jason ‘The Jaguar” Gregoire. Coming offaninjutyinthesummer,which has hampered his training, Gregoire was in the lead pack for the first halfofthe race, but slipped to a still impressive tweEh place. Jason’s running expertise is now being passed on to the current team, some ofwhom were Jason’s team members just last year. Tomorrow, the Warriors and the Athenas will be hosting the Waterloo Open Cross-Country meet. The meet wiil be held at the UW golf course, north of the Columbia Ice Fields on the shores of scenic Columbia Lake. The meet starts at 11 a.m. and is on a great spectator course, so come out and watch your Waterloo Cross Country teams in action this Saturday at the UW golf course, -

Friday, October 4, 1996

Athletes of the week

Wamiiw Football A second-year Geography student from Waterloo, Siountres’ stellar play on special teams was a key factor in the Warriors 20-9 win over the McMaster Marauders on Saturday. Siounties led the team with six solo tackles, pinning McMaster deep in their end for much of the game.

And we want to share it with you. Andersen Consulting is a $5.&billion global management and technology consulting organization. Our mission is to help our clients change to be more successfuLThis means working with businesses from a wide range of industries to link their people, processes and technoloI gies to their strategies. At Andersen Consulting, you select the direction your career will take . .. knowing that you’ll be valued for your unique skills and your chosen career path. Success on munication people with and willing

our team demands strong problem-solving and comskills, determination and a drive to excel. We look for well-rounded interests, who are able to work hard to travel. If this sounds like you, we should talk.

Attend our information session on Wednesday, October 9, 1996, at 600 p.m., in the Davis Centre Building, Room DC l3O2. If you are unable to attend, we will be holding an additional information session on Wednesday, October 16,1996 at our Etobicoke address. Our session wil1 be held at 600 p.m. with a reception to follow. Casual dress is appropriate. For more information, please contact Karen Attia at (416) 695-5817.

Willemse led a potent Athena attack and scored four goals in three Waterloo wins on the weekend in Nepean. A third-year Kinesiology student, Willemse also played excellent defense for the Athenas, causing turnovers and creating many scoring opportunities on counterattack.

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Well, baseball wrapped up the regular season last weekend, under the cloud of protat from theumpiresthattheywouldrefirse to work the playoffs unless Roberto Alomar’s suspension for spittingonumpi.reBill~beck is served during the playo& and not next April. Sounds reasonable. Seems fair. The bigwigs will never go for it. Now begins the most contested, ofien most vehement part of the season: the awards balloting. Although the ballot were collected last Monday, until the winners are announce speculation wiil run rampant abut who will win, who deserves to, and who won’t. In that vein, here’s howI’dvoteforthemajorawa.rds: North of the border, this is the most highly-contested award. Although the American media is playing up Andy Pet&e as the obvious front-runner because he led the league in wins and plays for New York, there is only one logical choice for this award, the most dominant pitcher in the American League, Toronto’s Pat Hentgen. To decide the better of these two pitchers, one needs only to look at the top ten stats leaders: in wins, Pettitte ranks first with 21, Hentgen second with 20. In ERA, Hentgen ranks second at 3.22, Pettitte eighth at 3.87. In strikeouts, Hentgen stands seventh with 177, Pet&e is out of the top ten with 162. In complete games and shutouts, Hentgen led the league in both categories with 10 and 3 respectively, Pettitte 2 and 0, and not ranked in either.

Inningspitched,Hentgenledwith Pettitte, not even in the top ten with 22 1. And there are even more stats that show why Pat Hentgen was the bt pitcher in the league &is season. One last stat: compare personal winning percentage (WP) to the team’s, for the simple reasonthatagoodteamcanmakea decent pitcher seem great. Pet&e’s 21-8 record amounts to a .724WP, comparedwitha ,568 WP for the Yankees. The difference: .156. Looking at Hentgen’s 20-10 record, that’s a .667 WP. SubtracttheBlue Jays.457,whkh PutsHentgenat .21O,signi&antly higher than Pet&e. Maybe ifPat had played for a pennant winner, he’d be getting the recognition he deserves. Hell, there are three Yankees, including closer John WettelandandsetupmanMariano Rivera (the day a middle reliever wins the Cy Young is the day baseball gm to hell and I stop caring) garnering more attention than Hentgen. Will Hentgen win? No, beause that would be the intelligent choice, and if there’s one thing that baseball has proven, it will always forsake the intelligent choice. Nz cy Ymq Ok, not much to say here. Atlanta Braves righty John Smoltz led the league in wins with 24, led in strikeouts with 276 and had a nifiy 2.94 ERA. This shouldn’t even be close, though in a perfect world,Marl.inKevin Brown’s 1,89 ERA in the year of the super-ball would have garnered him better than a 17-l 1 record, and a better shot at the Cy Young. 265.2,

I really wanted to give Roberto AlLmar the ben& of the doubt. He had some great years in Toronto with the Blue Jays, and I do not like the way that Gord Ash handled his departure. When Alomar returned to the Toronto for the first time since he signed with Baltimore, I cheered. When Alomar returned again for the last series of this season, hbwever, I jeered. Alomar, in one of the most despicable acts that I have ever witnessed, argued a called third strike by umpire John Hirschbeck and spat right in his face. Alomar received a paltxy five game suspension for this heinous aict.As if that wasn’t bad enough, Al0mii.r went on to say that Hirschbeck

with the incident, making things even worse. First, Alomar appealed (there should be some mechanism in place to discourage frivolous appeals, but that’s another issue), then AL President Gene Budig said he’d hear the appeal next year. This means, of course, that Alomar can get off Scot-free for the playoffs and serve his suspension next year. Why can’t suspensions carry over into the post-season? This means that a player doesn’t have to be accountable for his acts late in the season since the suspension won’t take effect until next year, when it really doesn’t matter. This is baseball logic at its fmest, folks. It seems that the umpires are the only people that have any

had

common

become

bitter

ever

since ,.his

son died of a rare brain disease three Yeats ago. Talk about &bbing salt in an open wound. Of course, baseball, in yet another display of sheer wisdom, has fLmbled and bumbled around

SPORTS

Friday, October 4, 1996

sense,

They

threatened

to boycott the postseason until Alomar was dealt with. A court injunction, a protest, and an agreement later, they were working, and Alomar was to have his appeal hearing on Thursday. Let’s

The big problem with this award is that it never goes to the most valuable player in the league. It% always the guy with the best ofFensiveseasononadivisionwinner or contender. So, it will likely be Boston’s Mo Vaughn, Seattle’s Alex Rodriguez or Texas’ Juan Gonzalez, who are not unworthy, but my personal choice is Minnesota’s Paul Molitor. Ballots for the MVP are supposed to consider three things: consistent play over the length of the season, solid output both at the plate and in the field, and finally, leadership and intangible cqntribution to the game. On those grounds, Molitor gets my vote without question. He had a terrific season batting ,340, leadi.ngtheleagueinhi~andG.nishing with 115 RBI’s. Plus, he was very useful platooning with Marty Cordova at first, and as Toronto f;ms know, what Molitor contributes in terms of clubhouse leadership and enthusiasm can never be measured. Molitor is my MVP hands down. NZMVP Another fairly easy choice here: Padre third baseman Ken Caminiti. Great offensive numbers, batting .328 with 40 homers and 130 RBIs, as well as solid ddence and a great example of a good leader. The Mexico IV story is one of the greatest this season. Why is it that the NL awards are so much easier to pick?

Multi-Player

Ghmiug

Computer Cerrtre

Corrreplay these

games:

w /.

AL wd ALLRookieof the Yh-w

Derek Jeter, Yankees; Todd Hollandsworth, Dodgers. Solid, though unspectacular, seasons. Wow, who cares?

hope that baseball doesn’t sqew up yet again. AfterAlomarshoweduswL the spitting image of a delinquent baseball player was, I have no choice but to say that he is the biggest asshole in baseball right now. Spitting on Hirschbeck was one thing, but to then criticize him based on a traumatic personal experience is simply barbarous. Move over Albert Belle, there’s a new sheriff in town. While baseball looks dumb yet again in handling player issues, the bottom line is that Roberto Alomti is now a classless individual. He used to be a hero to young kids everywhere. He used to be a role model for people desperately in search of one. He was a man you could point to and say, “Son, that’s what a baseball player should be like.” Now we can only shake our heads, and wonder if there is anybody left in baseball that has the shoulders to carry this messed up game.

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Sept.

Rerrults Sept.

Western Waterloo Laurier Toronto York Guelph Windsor McMaster

4 3 3 2 2 2 0 0

.O 1 1 2 2 2 4 4

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Guelph Waterloo Laurier Western

24 20 41 28

119 44 86 53 115 63 62 64 81 91 77 68 40 119 22 100

Toronto McMaster Windsor York

7 9 7 13

RUGBY

OUAA DIV.

McMaster Queen's Western York Guelph Waterloo DIV.

Laurier RMC Carleton Brock Trent Toronto

4 4 4 4 4 4

4 3 2 12 1 0

0 1 2

4 4 4 3 3 4

3 3 2 12 12 0

0 1 1

3 3 T

99 101 89 36 60 45

64 47 66 69 94 90

8 6 4 3 2 1 TP

91 43 96 35 65 54 65 55 15 67 23 101'

Ryerson Guelph Queen's Laurier McMaster Ryerson . Carleton 29 Laurentian Brock Carleton Guelph Laurier Toronto

Results Sept.

25 28

7 6 5 2 2 0

EAST DIV. Ottawa Queen's York Carleton Trent Toronto Ryerson WEST DIV. Laurier Guelph Western McMaster Waterloo Brock Windsor

28 26 19 26 20 28

Brock McMaster Laurier Carleton Guelph Western

Toronto Queen's RMC Trent Waterloo York

Queen's Laurentian Carleton Ryerson York Toronto Trent WEST DIV. McMaster Guelph Laurier Western Brock Windsor Waterloo

7 7 5 6 6 6 5

2 2 2 2 2 11 0

0 1 0 1 3 5

5 9 4 8 3l3 3 7 1 11 4 6 0 618

7 8 7 6 7 7 6

5 4 4 Z-2 14 15 1

1 0 12

1 4

2 2 1 0

Sept.

7 6 5 7 12 5

11 10 9 9 7 7 0

17 12 8 6 814 15 523

6 5 5 6

16 16 14 8 5 4 3

York McGill McGill Western McMaster Toronto Toronto

7 7 6 5 5 6 6

5 3 3 3 13 14 1

0 1 2 2

18 14 12 5

1 5 16 7 8 9'

2 3 1 0 12 1 0

17 12 10 9 4 4 3

5 3 3 2 2 2 0

0 2 0 2 2 4 6

11 925 F

3 3 3 312 2 1 1

13 6 12

A 5 7 6 6

713 10 12 920

Trent York Waterloo Toronto Carleton Queen's Ryerson Brock Laurier McMaster Carleton Toronto Ottawa Western Guelph Laurier

Waterloo Western Ottawa Ottawa Brock Brock M&laster

2 3 1 2 0 0 1

0vKmA TEAM

POINTS

McMaster York Toronto McGill *Western Queen ' s Laurier Waterloo

28 20 16 11 11 9 3 1

OWIAA

TP 18 12 12 9 8 7 1

1 7 2 6 2 0 8 2 4 2

Ryerson Carleton McGill Queen's Toronto Ottawa York Guelph Windsor Waterloo Ryerson York Trent Brock Windsor McMaster

0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2

TEAM

Toronto Waterloo York Queen's Guelph Western McGill Carleton Trent

8 7 9 8 8 6 7 10

6 6 4 2 3 2 1 0

1 1 3 4 5 4 6 10

0 1 0 2 2 0 0 0 0

54 18 33 12 9 10 3 3 1

1 6 2 17 23 14 20 28 32

18 13 12 10 6 6 4 2 0

27 28

Toronto Waterloo Queen's York Waterloo Toronto Queen's York Waterloo York Waterloo Trent Western Toronto Western Toronto Carleton

2 2 2 7 2 6 4 7 3 4 4 1 2 8 6 11 3

York Guelph Trent Carleton McGill Queen's Carleton McGill Carleton Queen ' s Western Guelph Guelph McGill Trent Guelph Trent

0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0

Imprint Sports

POINTS

Toronto York McGill Western Waterloo Queen's McMaster Ottawa Brock

44 40 .38 34 30 26 16 14 6

Results York Waterloo

TErnIS

TEAM

Sept.

OUAA

Sept.

5 4 6 5 5 7 6

Result8 25 27

0 11 13 0 . 16 5

Results

OUAA EAST DIV.

2 2 1

2 2 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 PPd 1 0 1

a 8 6 7 6 7 7

Results 28

Trent Brock Laurentian Windsor Waterloo York Toronto Trent Western Ryerson Windsor McMaster York

OWIAA

' Sept.

3 3 1 1 3 2 1 2 1

7 4

Queen's Queen's

0 3

Someone has to lose.

ozzyOsbounne w/D==&>

Neumbc

sepultura,

Gypsies

Gyps cobm Saturday, October 28 by Alain M. Gaudrault special to Imprint could hear opening act Neurotic GvDsies as I was waiting to pi& up my tickets at tii wicket. Sounded like nothing special, but of course, we still weren’t in the venue. Unfortunately, it didn’t get much better tier We’d taken Our seats. This unknown act, who filled the slot for Clutch,

T A

poi.ntingtoanold-timeh, tosay the least. Quicker than you can spark up another spliff, Dan%@ took the stage and proceeded to show the world just how much he loves himseE Owning with massive hit “Mother,” the band received a reasonably enthusiastic response Which lessened as the set dragged on. Regardless, Glen Danzig pranced around like the steroidpumped rock star he wants himself to be, and did a good job of that. His vocals were acceptable, particularly towards the end, but his unmelodic yelling and short-

burned brightly during Ozzy’s ballads. Of course, I can’t really blamethemall.Af&all,IwAs wearing my 13-year old “Bark at the Mooi? jersey with the white sleeves, and I did get the urge to standup andpoundmyfist inthe air. C&y generally does a good job of pleasing just about all of his Tins,&d has-a pretty good idea what his audience wants to hear. His band, featuring Joe Holmes (former student of&z+ late ex-guitarist, Randy Rhoads) on guitar, ex-Suicidal Tendencies bassist Robert Trujillo, ex-Faith NoMore drummerMike Borden, andanunknown keyboardistwho

Lockup your chickens! who filled the slot for Fear Factory, who took over for Prong after their recent breakup, smacked ofAlice in Chains clones, thankstothesubpar”LayneStaleyesque vocal delivery. The music seemed rooted in B&-era heavy metal. A f&gettable act, particulary with the remaining lineup lying in wait. Sepultura were on next. It’s a shame their set was so short., as it basically forced the bandtochoose behveen focusing on tieir latest two (highly suciessful) albums, or plea&g&e older crowd with past favourites. They chose theformer of the two approaches, -playing nothing from their first four releases, and only the title track off their fti, Atie. Disap-

ness ofbreath detracted from what could have been adequate material on a good night. It was obvious that timing was crucial, as the first opening act had started playing immediatelyat 19:00, asadvertised; now, &er only 10 or 15 minutes at the most, Ozzyyvas ready to take the stage, but not before the video montage which has become de rigueur on his latest tours. After a shorter-than-expected video session, the real Ozzy took the stage to an eager audience, who immediately seemed to be transported back in time some 15 years. chants of ccozzy, ozzy, &zy”werescrearnedeverywhere, home-made banners were proudly displayed by fans, and lighters

filled in the empty spaces in the music, were quite adept at playing Ozzy% catalogue. Several Sabbath numbers were performed, including “Paranoid,” Czron Man,” “Sweet Leaf” (one of my personal favourites), and rcChild.ren of the Grave.” I suppose, having Joe Holmes in his band, Ozzy feels it’s a good opportunity to put more emphasis on his older material, which is clearly superior. Emphask he did, playing mainstays such as “Crazy Train,” cLSuicide Solution” and “Goodbye to Romance.” Holmes executed Rhoads’ work skillfully, mirroring many of the late guitari& techniques. Strange that a tour in support of an album should feature only a

IlmllmL*.what’s

for dinner mnigtlt?

single track off the latest release, but I’ve read an interview where Ozzy admits that his producer pushed him so hard in the studio that he now has a acult time performing the material live. c?. Just Want You,” his latest single, was the only O-n> track performed that night. Unfortunately, most of 0zzy%setwasp1aguedwithvocal problems. Ozzy just wasn’t feeiing all that well, it seemed, and in all honesty, it showed. His voice would cut out entirely at times and he could reach none of the

high notes. It’s unclear whether it served to rest his weary body, soothe his sore throat, or just to give the rest of the band some space, but Ozzy vanished for awhile in the middle of the set while the rest ofthe castplayed an instrumenti medley of Sabbath andearly-era&zytunes.Istarted wondering ifhe’d even come back Another handful of songs, and Ozzy called it quits, coming back for the obligatory encore. The set was a tad on the short side, but considering the state ofhis vocals, I can’t say I blame the poor guy.

Ballets own complete orchestra, the musical component of G&&47 enhanced the emotional quality of the ballet without distracting from the dancers poetry. In essence, G%t& is a very traditional ballet, performed with minimal pomp and few special efEects.

However, this contributes to a very @IX ballet,’ one where the talent shine through, untarnished by unnecessary gliz and glamour. The National Ballet of Canada has skillfully charged Giielle with pathos, leaving the audience to savour this truly impressive performance.

Giselle, my elle Giselle National Ballet of Canada The CentYe in the sqm Tuesday, October 1

by ma Sutton Imprint

St&r

audien& with a feling of repose. Set in the Rhineland valley surrounded by vine-clad hills and trees, G%el& is to Fall what l%e Natmaker is to Winter. Vibrant colours of orange, brown and green are tamed by the occasional sound of roaring wind which occurs together with the falling of a young peasant girl’s l&e.

The young Giselle’s passion for dancing is jubilantly shared by Lays, her lush young sweethe& who courts her p&sionately. When a rival for Giselle’s afZection unveils Lays asAlbrecht, who is already engaged to a beautiful Countess, Giselle is so shocked and distraught that she loses her reason for being and dies. Now Giselie joins the ranks of the Wilis, spirits of betrothed girls who hav&iied as a result of being betrayed by untnre lovers. Just as the Wii attempt to drown the faithless Albrecht, their power is destroyed, leaving Albrecht grievous &d alone. The remarkably simple tale of love and betrayal leaves the spotlight turned on the real core ofG?selfe,the technically demanding dance performance. A rousing execution by the National Ball& eminent p&ipals: Martine Lamy, as Giselle

and Rex Harrington as Albrecht appeared to sacrifice no depth or emotion at this unf;uniliar Southern Ontario venue, Effortlessly spry, the phantom Wti characters, performed by the artists of the ballet, were an aesthetic delight of uncompromising unison. Co&n,oneoftheNationalBallet’s newly appointed principal dancers. Corm’s fiery performance as one ofGiselle’s close friends clearly confirmed that he is a dancer of intense passion and indeed a force to be followed in his fLtu.re years with the National Ballet. Touring with the National

ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, October

4, 1996

Crybabies Weepin Tile WI Joe’s B uneral The Bomttshelter September 26

Thursday,

by Rob Van Kruistum

rmprht staff ell, there it goes. other Thursday

Franklyn Graham “VW0 WASJESUS CHRIS7?ff

Guitar in the World” -JOHNNY CASH

thhsty after the sqpare dance. photo

aCold Snap.” Sarah Harmer even congratulated some of the girls in the front for singing along. After the show she told me that she changed lyrics and speeds of singing in order to try to throw them of&to no avail. She thought it was great though, and both she, Luther Wright, and the rest of the band fed off of them and the rest of the audience, gaining momentum for the entire show. Now I’m all for dancing at concerts, mashing if it fits, and even singing if you are so inclined, but just because you are in the front row wearing a plaid shirt (oh so fashionable now-a-days) and you are playing air guitar (really cool!) doesn’t mean you’re

by Rob Van Kruistum

in the band. You know who you are, Spa&y. Settle down. You’re hurting the less famous audience members behind you and pissing us off. The line-up of Weeping Tile has changed. A new bassist has veryrecentlyapvdon the scene who does a trick with plastic cigarette wrappers as an interlude between songs. She also seems to love slap-bass since her face breaks out in an impish grin and she begins to hop around the stage when using this style. The show was great fb.n. A most enthusiastic two thumbs up. A must see for children of all ages. Delightfidly fbn, energetic and entertaining.

zmprinthas30 passes

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ONESTAR SHOW TIMES Fri. CM. 4 & Sun. Oct. 6 9130 p.m. Sat. Oct. 5 6:30 p.m. RATED AA

Bruce McDonald’s new w Hard Core Logo at the PrWess Cinema on Friday, Oct. 11. Just name a rock star who hasmanPacasne0 appearance in another of McDonald’s films (Roadkill, Hi&way 61, Dance Me Outside) and

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night come and gone. This W time I spent it at t.hevBomberand what a Thursday it was. I went to see Weeping Tile and got to attend Joe’s Funeral as well, Joe’s Funeral is a three-piece drum-bass-@tar outfit hailing from Toronto. I was expecting to be bored (nasty little cynic that I am) but found myself enjoying the music. The show itselfwasn’t all that special, with Todd and Gord just standing at the mics playing their guitars, but the music, although unfamiliar, managed to get me charged up for the act I went to see-Weeping Tile. While the stage was being set for Weeping Tile, the audience started to be drawn closer and closer to the stage in anticipation of what would soon be there. As Weeping Tile took to the stage, requests were being hollered before the band even picked up their instruments. Once the show began, the crowd began singkg along to their favouriteslike”U.F.0. Rosie”and

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Friday,

October

4, 1996

ARTS

Uh, he said “naked.” Huh. huh, huh Bif Naked w/ Spookey Ruben VOhWW Saturday, September 28 by Rob Van Kruistum Imprint staff

is name is Spookey, and he’s a little man, but he ain’t too short, and he ain’t too hype; he’s ripe, Ripe for the season, and the season is here. On that night I hear, sonic ideas in the style of Massive Wobbly Sound, coming to surround, and envelop those gathered ‘round. Spookey Ruben’s music is unlike almost anything else you have heard before. A mix of guitar, strange vocals and keyboard samples of pops, zings, booms and thuds that create a sonic sense of fun and cause the listeners to say to themselves “that is kinda weird, but I Like it.” Spookey R&en ended his tour with Bif Naked on a high note, playing the Volcano to a very enthusiastic crowd. His

songs, which begin as sonic experiments, caused the crowd to erupt in dancing and laughing and cajoling the likes of which I have not seen at a concert ever before. There is just something about Spookey’s music which tickles nerves in your head that you think must have been dead. The set included almost every song fromModes of Truqtwtation VU. 1, including favorites such as ‘“It’s Not What You Do It’s You,” and ‘Wendy McDonald.” Bif Naked took the stage at close to midnight. Opening with “Make Like a Tree,” BifNaked, her band, and the sound engineers went a long way towards ensurini that in future yea& we$lI all be able to hear a lot less. Playmg an aggressive and loud set, Bif Naked entertained those assembled with onstage antics including shaking her hair, throwing karate-like elbow strikes at the air and the ‘running man.’ Purring to the crowd between each song, she invited the audience to her show in Calgary on Tuesday explaining that it would be just as easy for us to get there as

it wuuld be for her. She then continued her set by playing ??eacock,” ccJust a Girl” and “Gypped.” Before starting her encore, Bif ‘interviewed) some audience members about the Fishbone concert from earlier in the year when they left the stage after a few songs and trashed the gear. Laughing, the band Bif Nakedz fully chthed. pretended to trash the photo by Rob Van KnCstum set by throwing a sealed water bottle across the stage. Watch and those who were on her case can now out Sex Pistols, your antics are nothing politely close their mouths. compared to BXNaked! Going into the concert without any During the encore, Bif Naked per- real idea of what to expect, I was greatly formed “Daddy’s Getting Married” using surprised by how much I enjoyed the show. the newly written intro which no longer Both Spookey Ruben and Bif Naked put ‘sounds anything likeThe Smashing Pumpon amazing sets, and if either ever come kins. It is crunchier and dirtier than before back this way, I want tickets.

Hollywocid Hotline North by Robert Jackson

Sh;uollS~ne. Adirectoralsohasyettobe signed, although I3rosna.n has stated publicly that he would like to see Quentin elcome to the sleazy world of Tarintino behind the camera. Filming is set to start in January. Hollywood gossip. I know that everyone loves dirt on their In what is sure to be one of the largest favorite celeb’s; so here goes.., . promotional and commercial ventures in Harrison Ford has apparently been history, the re-release Stir Wan blasts having problems on the set of his new film into theaters February Ist, 1997. George Lucas and the marvels at Industrial Light Ml+ OPPZ,where he stars opposite Brad Pitt. It seems the two are having problems And Magic have juiced up the original with on how much screen time the other has, THX sound, lost foowge and all new speembroiling a battle over whether it is a cial effects. Watch for similar re-releases of HarrisonFordoraRradPittfrlm. Diehard TZw Empire Stde lbk, and l% Rdtcrrr fans of the Indiana Jones star (such as OfmJdi in the months following. In myself) find it hard to believe such rumors, early 1998, Lucas will release the first of and will simply judge for themselves when three prequels to the trilogy. Filming on all it hits the big screen on November 1. three prequels will be done at the same Meanwhile, Ford and Ransom star time, and industry insiders say Kenneth Mel Gibson have been offered lead roles in Brannagh may play the lead role of a a new film version of televisionsHiz3&i 5- young Obi Wan Konobi. 0. Neither have commented on the offer, Finally on the hot sheet, although it but watch for Ford next inAr Force Otrc, seems to change daily, here is the casting where he plays the President caught in the list of the new Batman film: Batman will middle of a terrorist take-over on the fa- be playecl by ER star George Clooney, mous airplane. Chris O’Donnell will reprise his role as Eood news for 007 fans.,.after the Robin, Akia Silverstone will play Batgirl, and the Terminator himself, Arnold huge successof GoldenEye, United Artists Swartzenegger wdl play the role ofthe evil are anxious to start Ghni.ng the 18nth Bond Mr. Freeze. Superstar mode1Vendellawi.U film. Pierce Brosnan will reprise his role as the suave spy and in a twist ofirony, there playAmoldswXe,andwatchforaretumof is talk that former agent Sean Cannery Jim Carrey asThe Riddler. Swartzenegger will make 25 million for just 6 weeks of may be signed to play the evil villain. Other rumors persist that Con.nery% role may go filming, not to mention the millions tiom to Sir Anthony Hopkins or femme fatal ticket and merchandising royalties... special to Imprixkt

Deadline Dates for Application to Professional Programs at Ontario Universltbs

ENTRV

1 aa7 LAW

November 7, 7996 (First

Year Pmgc3ms)

May f, 1987(Upper

Year Programs)

November

I, fS96

December

I, 7886

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ARTS

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Friday, October 4, 1996

Punk it folks Violent Femmes w/Big Rude Jake Tn.n PadAmw, Gwe@h Saturday, September 28 by Patrick

W&s

Imprint staff t was sort of like running into a favourite great-aunt backstage at an Ozzy Osborne show: it’s good to see them, but you can’t stop wondering just what the heck they’re doing here. The University of Guelph’s Twin Pad Arena is a surprising choice of venue for a band’s only Canadian stop, especially when the band in question is the Violent Femmes. On the other hand, it could be considered surprising that the Femmes got the turnout they did; they may have been around for a dozen years and seven albums, butinth&stcoupleofyearstheMilwaukee band has been strangely silent. Why, then, was the upper balcony of Twin Pad Arena,

the seating ghetto to which allunderagers were stied, stuffed? And at $25 a ticket, no less? The arena floor wasn’t quite as lil, but there was a good showing of fans from across Ontario. Twin Pad, by Amerian music. Ye&w. the way, is the best large venue Pve ever seen, comref&e to fit squarely into any category. The bining the grandiosity of ‘t;he Warehouse Femmes are tie pointilists of rock; every with &e op&ness an4 intimacy of a small minimalist line adds colour to the whole, club. It waS perhaps a make&& decision and traditional verse-chorus-verse patterns on Guelph’s part, and the blue-jacketed often disappear in favour of more esoteric students serving as security wouldn’t have repetitions. been able to save anyone’s assin a fight, but The Femmes ran through their basic seating was plent&& the crowd was cool, (Lgreatest-hitS” selection, in&ding “Gone and for once, the volume was reasonably Daddy Gone, ” Vmerican Music,” “Dance, non-detiening. Motheficker, Dance!,” and “Blister in the Bassist Brian Ritchie came out first Sun” (wherein whenever the band sang, and began slowly blowing a digeridoo (the “go wild,” a dyed-blonde astride a friend’s prelude to “Digeridoo,” the song.) Punk it shoulders did, and exposed herself to the ain’t, folks; then again, the Violent Femmes band). Ritchie gave &amazing xylophone

photo

by Patrick

Wilkins

demonstration, and the brass boys f?om Big Rude Jake (the openers) accompanied the Femmes for haffa dozen songs-a rare treat for the fans. In short, it wasfin, not just for the fans, but for the band, who, when they weren’t yelling at the sound, couldn’t stop smiling. mer an hour of playing, the Violent Femmes left and quickly returned for a one-song encore of their (arguably) biggest song, “Add It Up,” which seemed to appease the audience. After all, everyone likes American music-and it doesn’t get much classier &an the Femmes. &.. ::::a y.,.

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IMPRINT,

ARTS

Friday, October 4, 1996

The New Media: Less than Zero The Revolution will still not be televised

teven Marshall is a clever fellow. By relentlessly casting derision on We mainstream media” in his new video magazine, Channel Zmo, he virtually ensured that he would be embraced by his cou.nterparts in the print medium. After all, if you worked in the mainstream media, and you rejected Marshall and Channel Zero, it would only prove that you were guilty of his tenuous charges of compromise by commercial interests. As a result, virtually every newspaper and magazine from the &be m&Mad to the fiZ&e K&e have heralded Cbunnel 2~ as revolution in television. It is, of course, no such thing. Channel Zm is an amateurish, buzzword-touting piece of throwaway trash-nonsense. Marketed (and you’d better believe 2s marketed v heavily) as a video magazine, Channf7l Zm0 is three hours of visual rambling, populated heavily by freaks and sporting an extremely vainglorious hipper-than-thou attitude. Over the course of three hours, Marshall and the Channel Zero team scour the globe from Belize to Amsterdam to Slovenia to South Africa to Bangkok, showing us how the evil white man and evil white corporations and the evil white media have corrupted the beauty of this precious blue pearl we call earth. The shaky handy-cam cinematography is no doubt supposed to represent some kind of new guerilla film-making technique but 2s nothing you haven’t seen on any of CITY TV’s shows like Fmkvi?n z-fdsim cr ilhvk Tea or even the latest Molson Dry commercial. It’s not ?=evolutionary,n it’s %rappy fh-making.” Such are the fruits of a generation ofyoung people who have heard talk of men like Marshall Mciuhan and Noam Chomsky but don’t really understand what they’re talking about. Suddenly, everyone and his dog is a umedia critic”ttying to ?u.lture jam” their way to fifteen minutes of fae. Chanlzel Zero is indicative of such unskilled posturing. Wait a minute, Mr. Postman The video begins with Neti Postman, a professor at MIT. and Marshall McLuhan’s heir-apparent. It tries to set a tone of dissent with contemporary media, but ironically this piece suffers from the worst disease of today’s television news programs, namely soundbite-itis . Postman waxes philosophical onvarious topics, none ofthem new and none of them for very long. He asserts that the world we live in today is closer to Huxley’s &me New ‘wiurld than Orwell% 1984 because we are addicted to pleasure or, as the title of one of his books puts it, we are Atlrtrsittg Umfefves tu Death, Is this supposed to be an original revelation? This pearl of wisdom is un-

doubtedly the subject of a thousand second-year University essays. I’d like to hear Postman elucidate on this or any of the other topics he mentions during his brief segment on Channel Zero but Marshall seemsintent on impressing everyone with little soundbites from Postman rather than getting into any one topic in detail. The segment concludes with Postman arguing for his theory about how &e&ion desensitizes people by claiming that the reason individuals don’t cry when they see reports of plane crashes is because such reports are followed by Burger King commercials or other happy stories which convince “people” (who apparently come in the form of brainless automatons in Postman’s world) that eveything-3 going to be OK. Now, I don’t know what kind of psychological paralysis Postman expects from people, but if1 cried at every tragedy that occurs in the world, I don’t see how I’d have much time for anything else in l&e. Yes it’s terrible and awful that 34 Palestinians were killed in Israel today, but I fail to see how some sort of sympathy for people

The CIA & 0.J Simpson in which Constantine offers an alternate explanation of the O.J. Simpson saga. One of the .mbst outrageous and unintentionally hilarious momenti of Channel Zero occurs when Constantine decries the preoccupation that the prosecution had with blood and hair samples and articles of clothing when, according to Constantine, they should have been pursuing some cocaine dealer who had the name of O.J. Simpson written in her day planner. Mr. Constantine seems unaware that the ccpreoccupation” with blood samples was a result of the fact that such items are known as EVIDENCE in a court of law. Admittedly, you’d have to be

ment for his book. One can only hope that his book provides a more cogent argument than he was able to convey to Scrivener. Who

makes

ing if he could back his speculation up, but Marshall taunts the viewer with these claims and when it comes right down to it, he fails to deliver the goods.

the Nazis?

Is there any hope Channel Zero’s weakest segment is the story on Nazis in Slovenia. The Slovenians that Marshall interviews are typical knuckle-dragging, sloping forehead types going on about the white race and how it’s pure and great etc. etc. While they go on about the Xeriority of niggers and Jews, Marshall cleverly intercuts his footage of these skinheads with fobmageof.. .Adolf Hitler. This is what the VancouverSuncalled”brilliantdqcumentary work”? This is pathetic paral-

for

Channel

Zero?

It is the overwhelming sense of paternalism that is most disgusting about Channel Zero. The creators areundertheassumption that they ate privy to a special power (that the rest of the world knows as uc&cal thinking) that nobody else seems to posses.This special power aliows them to see through the world of media conspiracy, or at the very least to know that such a conspiracy exists. To be a viewer, then, is to be in on this joke and feel some sort of camaraderie with this contin-

The sheky handy-cam cinematography is no doubt supPosed to

gent;~f;~;~f~;~~~wer

w$resent some kind of new pezGjZm-making technique, but . it’s nothing you haven ‘t seen on the latest M&on Dry

at the end of this tape and suggests that exploring one’s plane& the way to get a real education. He obviously enjoyed his trip and he thought it was amazingly amazing and suggests that everybody else should travel the globe as well. While this is a great surgestion, where in the name of god am I supposed to get $499 for a oneway ticket to Amsterdam?

commerciak It’s not %twolutionary, ” it’s “crappy film-making.

I don’t know and have never met would make me somehow more human in Postman’s eyes.

a brain-damaged crack addict not to realize that there was plenty more to the 0. J. story than what was being shown on CNN. Unfortunately, all Constantine manages to do is provide a convoluted series of tenuous threads between O.J., crack dealers, and Florida

Perhaps the most pretentious slice of self-important crap on Channd Zm is the segment entitled ccConspiracy Comer,” Again, the omnipresent Ccwereally know whaes going onn attitude continues with ultrasericils host Mike Scrivener. Scrivener intetiews Alex Constantine, author of The Fkwt&a$Mofl@tib&M&,

hitmen.

Add to this highly suspect tale the fact that Constantine is routinely censored by Chatzn~l Zero when he mentions some specific names, and the whole thing comes across as an unintelligible muddle. This portion comes across as nothing more than an advertise-

”

lel editing at its worst. Marshall hints at some sort of Fourth Reich iiberplan that’s supposedly in motion, but f;iiis to back it up. His theory that Germans are arming the Yugoslavians to advance some divide and conquer strategy is an interesting premise, but where is Marshall’s proof. Where are his facts? Does he have anybody in Yugoslavia that will corroborate his story? Marshall’s other claim about %e role of the West in instigating and profiting corn this political atrocify” remains similarly unsupported. These are good theories andwouldmakefascinadngview-

This

raises

another

curious

question. Where the hell did Steven Marshall get the money for his trips? IfI were to succumb to the same paranoid conspiracymongering of the Channel Zeroists, then I would assume that clearly there is some “hidden agenda” to which Marshall defers. Who is the real power behind Cbunnd & and what have they got against me? Do they want to harmmeorki.llmeormakeme believe that smoking is cool? Excuse me as I f’md out what Marshall McLuhan said about all of&is*

ARTS

Never sav never You Never Know Isabel Hyggan VWqge Cud 241 pigs by Natalie Gillis Imprint stair

uz4Niwv Bww is more a series ctf character studies than a collection ofshort stories, asHuggan explores various aspects of human nature through ’ her tales, and little else. The plots serve merely as vehicles for thecharacters,andasHugganfocusesmore on the telling than the actual tale, her narratives meander through otherwise brief and largely forgettable events in her characters’ lives. It is Huggan’s ability to expose the intricacies of humanity through mundane, daily existence rather than big, bold, life-altering events, however, that makes her anecdotes all the more memorable. Each of the I2 stories in You NLti h is centred on the telling of a single event in the lives of its (mainly female) characters, A weekend at the cottage, a walk in the park meeting a childhood neighbour years later, knitting--stories either forgotten through the veil of childhood or tucked into the niche of daily existence are drawn out of the closet of human memory and retold in Huggan’s vivid narrative.

Although some stories are stronger than others, Huggan’s SW character development carries even the weakest plots. Through her ability to reveal the inner thoughtsandlivesof’hercbaracters--mothers, wives, daughters, lovers, girlfriends, sisters-he creates individuals with integrity, who are complex, ftible, and entirely human. She creates people we’ve allknown, or been, at some point in our lives. Although, in compiling these stories into a single book she runs the risk of becoming somewhat repetitious in her themes, Huggan savesherself from this by varying her narratives among the first, second and third person, and past, present and future tenses, providing just the right amount of novelty to her familiar subject -the human heart. One device that does become tiresome is Huggan’s constant use of unresolved endings. Although initially thought provoking, leaving characters somewhere in the middle of a story, no matter how commonplace, CUPB become somewhat unsatisfying. That Huggan’s narratives are so involving exacerbates this point, but it is hard to begrudge a writer her skill, and she is easily forgiven. Tbs Niwr Kiww provide,s a refreshing look at everyday existence, reminding us all of the joys, ha&hips, rewards and struggles not of glamourous, easy or ostentatious living, but of simply living.

Japanese wnispers Japanese Dicticmwy Ranh

Hincse

450 pages, $9.50 by Greg Picken

Imprint St&

e whole idea behind publishing companies, like our friends at Random House, sending books out to places LkeItnptit is in the hopes that we’ll give it a positive review, and then you’ll be compelled to rush right out and purchase the book. The question I ask is this: why on Earth did they send us a Japanese-English dictionq?!? Have you ever, mer read a review of a diceionary in any publication? Well, hold on to your Underoos, kids, because we’re heading into uncharted territory at maximum warp. OK, as fu as translation dictionaries go, I suppoSe this is a pretty good one. It has its good points and its bad. One definite plus is that ifs compact enough to fit into the breast pocket of a blazer, or a bag. Thafs a bonus, because you don’t really want to have to carry around a roach-killer of a dictionary. And Qne nice thing I noticed; in contrast to many reference books, these pages weren’t that flimsy, crepe paper

garbage. This dictionary has a decent stock of paper, which will hopefully result in a longer life span. And boy, is it complete. Over 20,000 entries and they provide both the Roman and Japanese characters. Negatives? Well, I can think of a couple. First, ugly, ugly colour choice for the cover. It? my best guess that someone of the cOlour-blind persuasion was responsible. Mint green with vellow and orange u highlights~Ugh. ’ My second major complaint is one Pm very hesistant to make, because no matter how caremy I disclaim it, people are going to think poorly of me, According to the people I showed this book to, there are not enough dirty words. They don’t tell you what sexis in Japanese, but anyone who has seen any Acme will be able to tell you they have to have a word for it. It was actually scary to see people lo&i.ug for the dirty words. I expect that behaviour from my housemates, but even people in the Imprint office who picked it up flipped straight tb ffind the word kx.” Weird, Two final thoughts to close off this reviek: one, I’m set if I ever go to Japan, and two, I really have no journalistic integrity left. I just wrote 400 words about a dictionary.

IMPRINT,

You

NEVER

Friday, October 4, 1996

KNOW

by Justin M&hews

Imprint staff

bYsandy-

Imprint staff

t’s silly that in 1996, the move by an “alternative” or %nderground” act horn a small iabel to a major still attracts anybody’s attention. Hiisker Dii managed to make the leap a decade ago when they released P&p Your IR&+tn utterly brilliant album-on Warner Brothers. Similarly, when noise merchants like Sonic Youth can make the jump without losing any of their anarchic attitude, the point seems moot. The Jesus Lizard’s &G should surely put to rest any notion that such a leap represents any sort ofsonic compromise on the band’s part. Thumbscrews” (an ode to torturing landlords that students everywhere should adopt as an anthem) not only takes to-c as its subject matter,’ but ends in twenty seconds of David Yaw’s screaming his fuck.ing head off. No sell out indeed. The last fm Jesus Lizard albums have been powerful masterworks and Shotis no Fception. They carry with them a momentum thafs utterly exhilarating to experience. Wheher it’s their manic tiberxhedute

by Chris Edgintm

Imprint staff When Kelly Hoppe hired Gordie Johnson into the Windsor Dukes, giving him his first real job, no one would have guessed that Johnson would end up centre smge, with Hoppe s-ding there looking for cues. Gordie Jotin is Big Sugar, and Hti-VW is Gordie Johnson. A new Gordie John? Maybe. Hk-Tti, in Johnson’s words, is “not so much a departure brn form, but more like a fast-forward accelerated learning curve? Yeah, no shit Gordie. The first single (and first track on the album) is “Diggin’ A Hole* and Big Sugar

of constant touring or the records they release, The Jesus Lizard prove their willingness to work for the attention they receive unlike other shiny bands I could menttion like Oasis. The band gives new meaning to the word tight on tracks like ?&ull of a German? The throbbing drums are punctuated perfectly on time with a muscular bass line on top.of which guitarist Duane Denison adds scraping guitar lines. ,Add Yaw’s manic screaming and the band creates a sound that maintains a form and structure, with now-antiquated conventions of rhythm and melody, that blasts any of today% shit new-metal acts like Soundgarden out of the water. quickly let us know that this record is a departure; a departure from 500 Pounds andDewM.F. A new style, a new sound, the same Hugo Boss suits.Hmi-V%im, on the whole, pushes Big Sugar’s scope into more bass driven rif& with Gordie going nuts on top of it all. We would& expect anything less. Clearly, for anyone who’s seen Big Sugar live, they’re a band to be seen in person. Their energy and spontaneity live could never be transferred onto vinyl, (you can’t see Gordie singing through Hoppe’s harmonica microphone and then through the f-holes on his guitar in “Diggin’ A Hole”) but occasionally we get a ghpse through our home speakers. Dear M.F. gave us “Leadbelly,” but that’s as close as we got. Nemi-IGti, although containing no live tracks, does a great job of capturing that energy, Epic songs like UJoe Louis/ Judgemnt Day,” with its one main riff played over nine minutes, and Tobacco Hand” with its astral break and effective bassline get us fairly close to antre stage. I defhately found this record a little more accessible than their previous work. The melodies are easier to latch onto, without compromising the quality of the songs. Those elements that make 33i.gSugar what they are are still there, but the concept is slightly revised. What you won’t find on 5OOP~ndraresongslike”GoneForGood” and ccskull Ring.” Hti-Viiim is a terrific album. Elements of 500 Pmmib are heard here, but the overall feel of the record is slightly removed, although never diminished.

Ah, la belle langue d’amour... je pense que c’est pout $a que j’aime beaucoup “Autour De Lucie.” Va.l&ie L+lliot chante avec une voix comme nous n’&outons pas ajourd’hui. Et kzs parolessont en f&&s! Well, two of&e songs are in En&h, but as soon asshe switches over to English, the band starts to sound a little more typiCal, a little more like everyone else, a little more like they’ll get played onMuchMusic. Unfbrtunately, language is probably the only thing that will keep Autour De Lucie from being big in North America. Musically, my first reaction was to say they resembled early Lush or&e Sundays, but the more I listen to this album, the more I can hear the subtle differences that make them stand up on their own, while still maintaining an accessibility that should keep the mindless fans of mainstream pop (or that ill-named “alternative” genre) haPPY* On the surface, you hear some nice,

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struments add a very soothing quality to the music, which compliments Val&ie LeuUiot)s voice perfectly. When V&rie Leulliot sings, you can hear a child-l&e innocence and purity, a little like Julee Cruise, while at the same time there is a sense of maturity. Though I couldn’t always understand what she was singing about (a sad comment on Ontario’s educational system perhaps), there was something very powerzl in her voice that impressed me, Which brings me back to that earlier observationthatlanguagemightkeepthem from the top of the charts around here. Only two of the twelve songs are in English, with one song appearing in both English and French. And while only a fool would keep this band off their radio station’s playlist, the masses seem to like music they can sing along with. The lyrics are included, but that probably won’t make a tierence to the masses. Mais, situ n’estpas commes les masses, tu aimeras cet album.

’

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34,

ARTS

by Greg Pi&en Imprint staff In a musical world where the term %lternative” has become redundant, now encompassing basically everything that isn’t Wine Dion or Kenny G, there are a few bands who manage to eke out an existance by creatig or ftig a niche of their own. Toronto’s own Big Rude Jake is one of_.-these bands. Not content to be just another run of the miU three- or four-piece combo, thefve not only broken away from the norm, they’ve forged their own genre in Southern Ontario’s (and soon the wori&) musical spectrum, swing punk. Brash, intelligent lyrics, unusual instrumentation, a sense of humour and a live stage show to remember is what Big Rude Jake is all about. Following up on the success of their first indie effort, Butane Fames and Bud Cologne, comes the second album from Jake & G3., Blue Pariah, 12 tracks of pure swingin’ and groovin’ music with an attitude. The first thing anyone will notice about Big Rude Jake is their composition. Six guys, gui-

VOLUNTEERS

English tutors needed to tutor intemational students on a one-to-one basis in oral and written English. Once a week for one term, approx. 2-3 hrs/wk. For info call Darlene Rvan ext. 2814. Be a Big Sisters Volunteer! Training sessions commence Sept. 16,18,23/96 or Nov. 5.7.12/96. Please call 743-5206. Wanted: energetic,enthusiastic young women to be Spark, Brownie, Girl Guide or Pathfinder leaders. Within the university vicinity. For info call call Lynne at 8848098. Volunteer driving force: do you have a car and some free time? Drivers needed to drive seniors from their home to a senior day program. Mileage is reimbursed. Contact Volunteer Services88& 6488. tJeeded: Volunteers needed to assist with answering phone, typing and customer service in a busy office environment. Requires at least a one year commitment. Contact Volunteer Services 888-6488. Homework Helpers Needed: Big Sistets requires students to tutor etementaty/highschool students who have academic difficulties. Access to a vehicle is an asset. Training Wed. Sept. 25/96 7:OO to 9:OO p.m. Call 743-5206. Waterloo Oxford District Secorldary School in Baden is iooking for volunteers to help out with Special Ed Department. Excellent experience for students wanting to go to Teachers College or Social Service field. Contact Bilt Bond at 634-5441 between 8:OO am & 4:OO pm.

tars, drums, a prominent brass section and a kontra-bass. Whereas many bands today may use a stand-up bass or brass instruments as a novelty for one or two songs, this is the standard line-up. Add to that guest appearances by Gordie Johnson of Big Sugar (who also produced this alburn) and fiddle-maestro Ashley Mac-Isaac, and you’ve got one of the most unique sounds to come out of the musical blender in a long, long time. There are some real marvy songs on this album, from the real bitter swing of ‘Three Drunks at Last Call” through the happy jaunt of “swing, Baby!” and into the almost-tender cCLovesick Lullabye.” Each of the tracks on B~z.u Pariah mixes the excellent musicship of the Gentlemen Players with Jake’s clever lyrics, Tom VVaits-ish delivery and brash attitude. Not to be outdone by other artists who have taken up various socially-relevant causes, Jake has his own. He is dedicated to changing social conventions on oral sex, as the song “Girl in the Pink Canoen makes very, very clear. I think men everywhere could really learn something from this

Volunteers needed to work with preschool children in child care settings. No previous experience with children required. 2-3 hours per week. Great experience. caII Bill at Notre Dame of St. Agatha Preschool Support Service 7411122. Lexington Public School is looking for enthusiastic volunteers to work with students in classrooms, in small groups or on an individual basis. Call Brigitta at 747-3314 if vou are interested. Kitchener Parks and Recreation - for info regarding the following call Deb 741-2226: Sledge hockey coaches needed! No experienc& necessary, training provided. Modified hockey for individuats with disabilities. Saturdays l2:30-2330 pm, Ott to March. Want to get wet?? Aquatic volunteers needed for men and women with disabilities. Will adapt to your schedule. Receive free pool pass. Poker, euchre, crazy-eights?? Mate votunteer sought for weekly card game. Gentlemen looking for card-buddy. Time/ location flexible. Learn atbout a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be a part of our community. For more information , call tie K-W YMCA Host Program at 57943622. Makeifference in a child’s life! Friends, a senrice of Canadian Mental Health Association Waterloo Regional Branch, is seeking volunteers to support children one-to-one to develop their self esteem and sociat skills. Call 7444306 ext- 335. Artists & Writers: The Waterloo Community Arts Centre needs you. Volunteers wanted tu sit on programming committee. oraanize drop-in artist sessions, design pogters and iore. Call 886-4577

IMPRINT,

by James Russell Imprint staff

song, though if you ask Jake, I’m sure he’ll tell you he’s doing it entirely for the benefit of the ladies. As good as this album is, just listening to Big Rude Jake is simply not enough, you really have to see them play live. A band with a very distinct, audience-pleasing personality, it doesn’t feel as though thefre just doing it for the money: they actually seem to ehjoy what they’re doing! Weird. Conveniently, you can see them play at the Volcano this Saturday, October 5. Yes, it’s a cheap plug, but hopefully you’ll thank me for it. If you’re sick of the constant drone of guitar-bass-drum bands that permeate today% airwaves, get your ass to a record store pronto, get&e Puti, and start living thk good life.

&a~++ XXU~ is undoubtedly one of the best debut albums I’ve ever heard. Solid writing, playing and production from start to finish. To begin at the beginning, Superdrag are four guys from Knoxville, and they aH dress like men. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine. What I do know is that these guys have managed to do something very rareput out an album of guitar-rock that I actually find interesting. The sound is along the lines of other all-male 4-piece bands like Pluto and Weezer, but where Pluto capitalizes on catchy hooks and Weezer brought low-end guitar to new heights, Superdrag’s ed;;e lies in singer/songwrirer John D avis’ ability to write complex yet ct3mpelling songs. It’s hard to be more precise than that. Every song is distinct, a statement that should speak volumes about Davis’ writing ability. How many other albums have you heard lately with 13 distinct tracks? That’s what 1 thought. Davis’ lyrics are solid and entertaining. Simple, occasionally

Friday, October 4, 1996

bold, always honest, Davis manages to touch a nerve with twentysomethings who aren’t particularly enthused about getting out of bed in the morning* Of course, the big single is “Sucked out.” A cynical comment on the prospects of a young songwriter, Davis dares to look at the fear of failure that a lot of young artists try to push to the back of their minds. “Look around, could it bring somebody down ifI never made a sound again?..Look at me, I can write a melody but I can’t expect a soul to care.” The rest of the band rocks too, A solid mix of clean and distorted guitar, brilliantly melodic bass lines, and a drummer who knows when to take it easy and when to lay into the kit hard God, I love that. The guitar sound is frequently exceptional. The only band I’ve ever heard make their guitars sound like Superdrag’s do in 73-uest love” or %armonbozia” is England’s My Bloody Valentine. Definitely cool. Musically, Superdrag aren’t afraid to show their sensitive side, and they can rock out with the best of them. This album shows that and more. Thank God for an in~?&~~fl guitar rock album. Without bands like Superdrag we’d all be stuck listening to the Killjoys. I highly recommend picking this up.

UPCOMING EVENTS 1

The Depressive & Manic-Depressive Association for Waterloo Region is a self-help, support group. We provide info, education & support to anyone who has the illness as well as family members and friends. For info call 884-5455.

FRIDAY.

OCTOBER

The Grad House Presents”Pat Skinner”. Tonight’s Performance starts at 9 P.M. The Gradhouse is a student run campus. Open to all students - No cover charrre. See vou there! SATURDAY.

OCTOBER

Dana Hoist: Memento Mori Drawings, Prints, Paintings opening Oct. 5 at 2:30 pm thru Nov. 3, at the Library, Preston Branch. Call 519-621 Q460;653-3632

DEAWNEFORCAMPUS MONDAY. OCTOBER 7 BUUEllN The Sikh Student Association is holdiSMondrrjsd5p*m.dbMoffice ing a Langar from 11 :OO a.m. to I:30 SK1116 CLASSFlEDRATE&

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p.m. in order to commemorate the “disappearance” of Jaswait Singh Khaira in the Mutti-Purpose Room at SLC. Contact 884-3529. TUESDAY,

OCTOBER

Kitchener-Waterloo Little Theatm is pleased toannounce open auditions for Lip Service. Auditions will be held Tuesday, October 8 at 7 pm. Call John Selters at 579-2046 for more info. WEDNESDAY,

OCTOBER

Waterloo skin 6 scum club information meeting MC 2036 at 4:30 pm. Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo coming-out discussion group. Topic: “How Do I Meet People?” 7:30 pm. Social follows at 9 pm. HH 378 All welcome. Details: 884-4569 THURSDAY,

OCTOBER

,HOPE is a group dedicated to issues related to body image, dieting, and eating disorders. Next meetings are Oct. lOandUct24at5:3O,rm#213,Campus Centre. For Info: 686-l 125 THURSDAY, _.-. .---

OCTOBER

“What Is Risk Management” presented by Bankers Trust. Davis Centre, Rm 1301/1304 6:00 - 8130 pm. Taiwan Cinema presents Moon Warriors. Film at 7:OO pm at East Campus Hall Auditorium 1219. SATURDAY,

OCTOBER

IQ test, suibbte for MENSA entrance requirement. On campus, start 9: 15 am, cost $40. Detaits: Matt, 885-3967, mschonla@ jeeves

@N-G@ING 1 1 SCHOiARSHIDS /

TUESDAYS To become a better public speaker, read in public and build your confidence, join the Christopher Leadershipcourse. Thiscourse begins Sept. 17to Nov. 26/96 from 7 to 10 p.m. Students $90.00 (books included), adults$t IO. For more infocall Joanne at (519) 744-6307. Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday starting Oct. 8. Dropin Support Group -women sexually assualted as teen/adult. Emmanuel United Church 1:OO - 3:OO pm. Info 57l-Ot21. Every Tues. & Wed. IO week course desi ned to prepare people writing the $ est of En lish as a Foreign Language exam. !s ept. 24 to Nov. 27/96 from 2:ClO to 4:30 p.m. Re ister at In temational Student off ice !I H2080 or call ext. 2814 for details. THURSDAYS An English Language Lab/class. Sept. to Dec. in Modem Languages from I :30 to 2:20 p.m. Students, faculty, staff and spouses welcome. For info call International Student Office ext. 2814. HOPE is an action group dedicated to changing attitudes and increasing awreness on issues related to body image, dieting, etc. Next meetings are Oct. IO and 24 at 530 pm. in room 2133, SLC. Details call Laurie 8861125. FRIDAY English Conversation Class in Needles Hall 2080. Sept. to June from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. Students, facul staff and spouses welcome. For in‘yd call International Student Off ice at ext. 2814 SUNDAYS Emmanuel United Church Young AdultsGroup welcomes university students. Service IO:30 am. Social Group 7:00 pm. 22 Bridgeport Rd. (corner of Albert and Bridgeport)

ANNOUNCEMNTS

St. Paul’s United College has rooms available for Winter ‘97 and Spring ‘97 terms. Please call 8851460 or drop by for application forms and a tour! The Faculty of Applied Health Sciences is pleased to announce the opening of the UW-CMCC Chiropractic Research Clinic in the new addition to BC Matthews Hall. Call 888-4567 ext. 5301 for an appt. Rooms in the Village Residence are available for immediate occupancy. Inquire at the Housing Office, Village I or phone 888-4567 ext. 3704 or 3705 for further information on the villaaes. English as a Second Language, Secondary School Credits, and Upgrading classes for adults at St. Louis Adult Learning Centres, 75 Allen St. E. Waterloo 745-1201 or 291 Westminster Dr.N,Cambridae 650-I 250 Padania Players needs plays to perform! Any local playrights with short witty scripts please bring them to the Imprint office. Please attach name and phone number. Attention Bluevale Alumni! BCl’s 25th Reunion is May 30 - June l/97. The Reunion committee is presently compiling a mailing list. It is important that they receive your address now. Please write the school c/o 25th Reunion, 80 Bluevale St. N. Waterloo, N2J 3R5, call the Hotline at 650-0569 or e-mail at http:/www.sentex.net/ -dabrykys/bci .reunion. Renison College is now accepting residence applications from undergraduate students for both the winter and spring terms in 1997. For further information, please contact the Residence Office, Renison College at 8844404. ext. 611.

Applications for the following scholarships are being accepted during the Fall term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Office, 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

ALL FACULTIES: Doreen Brisbin Award-interested females entering 4th year in Spring or Fall 1997 in an Honours program in which women are currentlyunder-represented. Deadline:Apr.30/97 Don Hayes Award-for involvementkontribution to athletics and/or sports therapy. Deadline: Jan. 31/97 Leeds-Waterloo Student Exchange Program Award-students to contact JohnMedley, Mechanical Engineering. Mike Moser MemorialAward-available to 3rd or 4th year based on extracurricularand financial need. Deadline: Jan. IO/97 University of Waterloo Staff Association Award-available to full or part-time undergraduates in a degree program. Applicants must be current Staff Association members, their spouses, children, grandchildren ordependentsand will be basedon academics, extra-curricular involvement and financial need. Deadline:Sept. 30/96 Douglas T. Wright Award-available to all who have participated in an international work placement. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: Oct. I!%6 Douglas T. Wright Experience in Japan Award-avaitable to all who have participated in a work placement in Japan. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: Oct. I5/96 Tom York Memorial Award-available to all for short fiction-not essays. Students to contad St. Paul’s United College for further information. Deadline: Dec. 31/96

Facultv of Applied Sciences:

Health

Ross and Doris Dixon Award-available to all 2nd,3rd or 4th year for financial need and academic achievement. Deadline: Oct. II/96 Mark Forster Memorial Scholarship-available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadline: Jan. 31/97 Andrea Fraser Memorial Scholarshipavailable to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadline: Oct. 1 I/96 Michael Gellner Memorial Scholarshipavai table to 3B Kinesiology or Health Studies. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Robert Haworth Scholarship-completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31/97 Kate Kenny Memorial Award-available to 4A Kinesiology with an interest in rehabilitative medicine. Deadline: Oct. 31/96 Warren Lavery Memorial Award-available to 2nd year Kinesiology students with a minimum overall average of 83%. Deadline: Oct. 1I/96 Ron May MemoriaI Award-available to 3rd or 4th year Recreation. Deadline: Oct. I l/96 RAWCO-available to 2nd,3rd or 4th year Recreation and Leisure Studies. Deadline: Jan 31/97

Faculty of Arts: Arts Student Union Award-available to all Arts students. Deadline: Oct. 31/96 Robin K. Banks/Pacioli Award-available to 2AAccountancy Studies. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Concordia Club Award-available to 3rd year Regular or 3A Co-op Germanic & Slavic. Deadline: Jan. 31/97 Quintext Co-op EnglishAward-available to 4A English. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 / Andersen

ConsultingScholarship-avail-

able to 38. Deadline: Mar. 31197 J.P. Bickell Foundation Burs;triesavaitabletoall Chemicalstudents. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Canadian Hospital Engineering Society’s Scholarship-available to 3B. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Canadian Posture and Seating Centre Scholarship-available to all. Deadline: Oct. 1 l/96 Consulting Engineers of Ontario Scholarship-available to all 38. Deadline: Mar. 3I/97 John Deere Limited Scholarship-available to 38 Mechanical. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Delcan Scholarship-available to 4A Civil. Deadline: Feb. 28197 Randy Duxbury Memorial Award-available to 38 Chemical. Deadline: Mar. 31/ 97 S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd.Environmental Scholarship-available to 3rd year Chemical. Deadline: May 31/97 Ontario Professional Engineers Foundation Undergraduate Scholarshipavailable to all 2B & 38 based on extracurricular and marks. Deadline: Nov. 29/96 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship-available to 38 Civif,Water Resource Management students. Deadline: May 31/ 97 Standard Products (Canada) Ltd. Award-available to I8 or above in Mechanical or Chemical if home address is in County or Municipality of Perth, Huron or Halton. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Jack Wisemen Award-available to 38 or 4A Civil. Deadline: Sept. 30/96

Faculty of Environmental Studies Shelley Ellison Memorial Award-available to 3rd year Planning. Deadline: Nov. 29/96 John Geddes Memorial Award-available to ERS, Geography and Planning. Deadline: Oct. 31/96 Robert Haworth Scholarship-available to 38 Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage and Planning. Outdoor Education. Deadline: May 31197 I.O.D.E.-Applied EcologyAward-available to all 4th year. Deadline: Sept. 30/ 96 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship-available to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31/97

LIBRARY TOURS& WORKSHOPS

Friday, Ott 4 - II :OOam-noon Davis Centre Library -” New’ to the UW Library Public Workstations? 1 I :30 am Davis Centre Library -CD-ROM Searching: The Basics;1 I:30 am 12:30pm - Dana Porter Library- “New”; I:00 - 2:00 pm Davis Centre Library ‘New” Monday, Ott 7 - IO:30 am - Dana Porter Library - Historical Abstracts on Disc & America, History & Life on Disc Tuesday, Ott 8- 4:30 pm Davis Centre Library - Using the World Wide

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Web for Research via the UW Electronic Librarv Wednesday, Ott 9 - I I:30 am - Dana Porter Library - ABC POL SC1 on Disc ; 2:30 pm -Dana Porter Library - CD-ROM Searching: The Basics;4:30 pm - Davis Centre Library - Using the World Wide Web for Research via the UW Electronic Library

; LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE: Intensive 20-hr weekend seminars. Proven test-taking strategies. Personalized professional instruction. Comprehensive seminar packages for only $225. Oxford Seminars I-800-269-671 9.

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1 Experienced tutor available to help in calculus, physics, math and German. Call 886-2928. Guelph to University of Waterloo, Weekdays. To arrive at U. of W by approximately 8:30 am. Departure time negotiable. 515-7670567 C-CELL CREATINE MONOHYDRATE tested regularly at over 99% pure. If you tried creatine then you don’t know how much better you could be. 33Og-$51 .OO; 5OOg-$75.00 ; 1000@134.00. Premium Whey Protein 908g (2 tbs.)-$37.00. Chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. Cold high speed drying and a filtered +ion exchange procedure. All taxes are included. High quality products by J.&R. Nutruition in Vancouver. Call Harold after 5 p.m. at 1-519-893.

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African Pygmy Hedgehogs odorless, very low maintenance $50.00. Call Jim at 888-8621.

- adorable pets, hypoallergenic, costs. The exotic pet for the 90s -

Faculty of Mathematics: Andersen Consulting Scholarshipavailable to 38 Math. Deadline: Mar. 31/ 97 Bell Sygma Computer Science Awardavailable to 4th year Computer Science. Deadline: Oct. 3 l/96 Cerfified Management Accounting Bursary-available to full-time students in Mathematics-Business Administration/Chartered AccountaGcy/Management Accountancy. Preference will be given to students who attended high school in counties of Perth, Waterloo or Wellington, Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Electrohome75th AnniversaryScholarship-available to 3B Computer Science. Deadline: Mar. 31197 K.C. Lee Computer Science Scholarship-available to 28 Computer Science. Deadline: Nov. 29/96 A.C. Nielsen Company Bursary-available to all in 2nd,3rd and 4th year. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Friar Luca Pacioli Award-available to 2A Accountancy Studies. Deadline: Sept. 30/96 Sun Life of Canada Award-available to 2nd year Actuarial Science. Deadline: Nov. 29/96

4’9 Q Q @

Individuals and student organizations to promote spring break trips. Earn money and free trips. Call Inter-Campus Programs l-800327-6013 or http://www.icpt.com Cash paid nightly for experienced sales repdfundraisers 6 days/ week 5:30 to 830 pm. $8/hr guaranteed. Call today, start tomorrow. Kent I -800-447-l 826. Babysitter wanted for Sat. evenings and occasional weeknights. References required. Call Heidi at 884-0703.

DEADUNE FORCLASSIFIEDS isMondaysat 5 p.m. at the IMPRINT diceSK1116

CLASSIFIEDRATES:

Faculty of Science: David M. Forget Memorial Award in Geology-available to 2A Earth Science, see department. S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship-available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: May 31/97 Marcel Pequegnai Scholarship-available to 3B Earth Science/Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31/97

The following employment applicants should respond

opportunities are now available. directly to the contact indicated.

Interested

Projectionist& Camera OperatorsAudio Visual Centre $9.00/hr. Flexible hours. Preference given to students with 4 terms to work. Contact Lenora Wilson at Ext. 5114 or report to the Audio Visual Centre Eng 2 1309.