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Feds confkont tuition issues by Katie Ricks

Imprint staff

ederation of Students President Mario Bellabarba plans to ask UWs Senate to takea position against deregulation and differentiation of tuitlon, Bellabarba will present the motion to the Senate on March 17. The Feds refused to endorse the student sit-ins, taking place in protest of the proposed ten per cent tuition hike, at the University of Toronto, York University, Carleton University, the University of Guelph, Queen’s, and as of March 5, McMaster, choosing instead to conduct an Open Forum on Tuition on March 10. The Federation of Students has been planning the forum to encourage the type of administration-student discussion that other student unions were demanding. The campaign begins on March 9, when a discussion paper on tuition will be deliberated in the SLC Multi-Purpose Room at 12 p.m. The paper, entitled ??rinci-

ples for a New Tuition Policy,” outlines seven principles which, if approved by attendees at the deliberation, will be up for debate. Thev form the basis of the Federation’of Students’ argument that the university needs to announce a stand on the issue of tuition increases and the form they will take in the future. According to the paper, “while some student groups have sought zero tuition, the students at the University of Waterloo have accepted fees as a necessary good, but desperately seek mitigation against the impact on accessibility.” Secondly, the Federation of Students h&eves that “prior to the development of a t&ion policy, the debate must be informed by a clear definition of accessibility and a greater understanding of its relationship to tuition fees.” In addition, Yuitionfees must never rise to such a point where they negatively affect accessibility. nA negative effect would mean a fall in enrolments at the post

says BelIabarba. The motion to Senate is intended to prompt discussion of deregulation, a process whereby the university wou.Id be free to set tuition at varying levels for individual programs. The Federation of Students feels that “if given a choice between price options, students may have a propensity towards the lower ‘I...students have seen price,” leading first year students to base education and substantial increasesin career choices on the price tag the university attaches to its with neither an programs. In response to this possibility, the discussion paincreasein quality nor per statesthat “signifrca.irt price difZerentials should not occur fxrwnal benefits” at the first-entry undergraduate level. However, tuition fee differcordingly, the fourth principle entiation is an increasingly viable open for discussion is that =every and enticing option for universiincrease in tuition fees must be ties. The paper states that differaccompanied by an increase in entiation “should be used to mitiavailable aid” to preserve accessi-’ gate cost differentials and not be charged as a function of potential bility. “Although Dr. Downey is earnings.” There is a significant quoted.. .saying we want danger in the possibility that studenm in different programs may deregulated tuition, the university has never been consulted,” be charged.disparate amounts to secondary level and a subsequent decrease in revenue and quality, The discussion paper also deals with the issue of student aid, declaring that “the assumption that student aid can help low income students is highly dubious.” Ac-

fees

Award recognizes UVV’s international

attend the same class. Finally, the paper argues that %I the last two years students have seen substantial increases in fees with neither an increase in quality nor personal benefits.“The UW administration, including UW President Dr. James Downey and VI? Academic and Provost Dr. Jim Kalbfleisch wti have a chance to debate these points with concerned students at the Open Forum on Tuition, scheduled to take place March 10 in the SLC Great Hall from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. fie forum and the discussion paper constitute UW’s equivalent of a sit-in at the President’s of&e. Y’he administration needs to hear about how this increase will affect students,” says Kelly Foley, the Feds’ VP, Education. Ifthis approach to advancing student concerns over tuition has anyefExtonadministrativepol.icy, it may set a precede nt for university students across Ontario who feel their protests have, so far, been ignored.

appeal

Trade specializationstake students all over the world by Emily Bruner Imprint staff

he University of Waterloo lies side by side with the winners of the Awards for Excellence in Internationalization given by the Association of Universities and GAleges of Canada (AUCC). The AUCC represents students, both here in Canada and abroad. Its 88 member universities “foster and promote the interests of higher education” across Canada. The award commends the achievements of Canadian universities in incorporating an internationally relevant perspective to their institutions. The six recipients of the award received money and a shiny plaque. UW was awarded in the category of LcCurriculum Change: Integrating an International Dimension in the Academic Curricula,” which recognizes our International Trade Specialization, a subset of the Honours Arts Applied Studies co-op program. Being on the leading edge of c-operative education,

UW developed this unique program in 1988-1989. Its importance lies in the acknowledgment of the need for greater education and awareness in international trade, both academically and professionally.

- “Canada YSuniversities are becoming more international on/ all f rants ” This program is unique in that it grants students the opportunity to study and work abroad. In the earlier terms, students take language courses, along with economics, quantitative methods, and a myriad of other arts courses.

The language courses enable students to venture into foreign domains, such as Asia, Europe, Chile, Peru and the United States. In essence, this program allows students to “integrate their undergraduate social science and humanities courses with the pursuit of their interests in international trade,” says Dr. Peter Woolstencroft, Associate Dean of Arts (special programs). Other winners were the Ecole des Hautes Etudes Commerciales in Montreal, York University; the University of British Columbia and Simon Fraser University. As Dr. R. Giroux, President of AUCC, pointed out, this award recognizes that “Canada’s universities are becoming more international on all fronts,” ensuring that students “receive a broader education” with increased job prospeas* “[The private sector depends] on universities to prepare tomorrow’s employees for the economic global reality,” saysGiroux. The award honours WV’s reputation for innovation and modem adaptions to the real world in the areas of Arts, Engineering and Computer Science.

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ix people were injured when acarcarryingfourthird year UW Science students collided with a pick-up truck in Wellington County Sunday afternoon. The driver of the truck failed to heed a stop sign, struck the students’ car as it proceeded through the intersection and caused it to roll into the ditch. The injured were taken to hospital in Fergus, where Daniel Zaharychuk, the driver of the car, and A&on Buchanan, one of the passengers, were treated and released. Zaharychuk was later readmitted with a wrist broken in three places and a cracked joint. He will undergo surgery to treat

evaluating

Student evaluations praise prof

the breaks in his wrist, nd you thought your Jeff Samborski was transcourse evaluations went ferred to Hamilton General Hosstraight to the paper pital with internal injuries, includshredder, only to end up at the ing a punctured gall bladder. He local recyclers? Not s-just ask will be discharged shortly. BiJl Power, a professor in UW% Phillip Berardi, the fourth Chemistry department. Power passenger and the most seriouslv was recently awarded his depaxtinjured, was airlifted th ment’s first Gudrun and Hari Sunny brook Hospital in Toronto. Sharma Teaching Award, largely He is currently being treated for a on the basis of favourable student broken femur, a cracked hip and evaluations in his Chem 129 brain hemorrhaging. Although course. As Power pointed out, initially in critical care, Samborski “many students don’t realize how was moved from the Intensive important course evaluations are Care Unit on Monday. 40 per cent of our yearly perThe driver of the truck, Bruce formance reviews are based on Williams, and Lorane Smyth, his student evaluations, so they do passenger, bothofthe Kenilworth weigh heavily.” area, were taken to Fergus hospiDescribing his approach to tal. Williams suffered undeter- . teaching first-year students, Power mined injuries, while Smyth has emphasizes that “the big goal is to sustained a broken hip. get them to think like scientists, to

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give the students some flavour of what science is all about.” Not surprisingly, Power has seen enrolment in his classes rise dramatically since his arrival at UW three years ago. Though the backlash from fLnding cutba&s surely accountS for some of that increase, it stands to reason that a good portion of that enthusiasm can be attributed to Professor Power’s teaching methods. Although student evaluations were a major factor, Power also won the award an the strength of his dedicated work for his Chem 129 course. In an effort to “try and foster the electronic communication of scientific information,” Power made all course materials ava3able on the Web. Benefitting from this improved accessibility, the Chemistry department was able to offer the course in a long distance version for the first time. Currently, there are 24 students enroUed in that distance version of the course, some as far away as

by Karsten

W. Gitter

Edmonton, Montreal and Ottawa, Power notes, not without pride. Power hopes that a transition from traditional and somewhat outdated tapes and printed notes used in distance education will improve interaction between on and offcampus students to the point where they can collaborate on experiments and assignments. Increased enrolment in distance education would also alleviate some of the university% linancial pains suffered by the government’s tiding cuts. According to Power, another remedy for those pains that has been neglected by the university and students alike is corporate involvement. “Mrhat ive should be looking for are corporate alliances, particularly with memlxrs of the communication industries, such asBell and Rogers. They want a greater share in the market and we could reach more people, more effectively, and at the same time be able to cut a deal for the students.”

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mprinh fate for the next year has finally been decided upon. Peter Lenardon was recently namedImprint’s Editor-In-Chief for 1997-9s. Intent on graduating from UW this year with a B.A in Political Science, Lenardon looks f&ward to a potential career in journalism, with a definite bent towards photography. Lenardonis very familiar with campus l&e, having spent two transitional years in engineering before deciding on Political Science. He began volunteering at Imprint in the fall of 1995 and be-

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came News Editor the following term. After hvo more terms as News Editor, during which time he wrote and took photos for nearly every section of Imprint, Lenardon became Assistant Editor this term. Editor-in-Chief is a one year position which Lenardon hopes will give him the chance to encourage more UW students to volunteer at Imprint and make use of its growing resources. “1 want only peace and love in the Imprint of&e,” declared Lenardon. Wish him luck, folks!

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Co-op placements consistently high by Kdra Ahbar special to Imprint

he Department of Co-op erative and Career Services has released the new co-op employment figures as of February 28, 1997, and the results are encouraging. Ninety-six per cent of the 3,680 co-op students at UW were placed in jobs in the 1997 winter term this year, about the same as last year. Only 118 co-op students are without a placement to date, with seven per cent of first year students jobless, and less than one per cent of fourth year students unemployed. As usual, first year students had a more difficult time finding placements than upper-year students. The breakdown for placement by faculty in all years was as follows : AHS - 94.19 per cent Arts - 99.15 per cent Accounting - 99.28 per cent Engineering - 97.41 per cent Architecture - 88.98 per cent Mathematics - 97.77 per cent ERS, Geography, Planning 95.96 per cent

NEWS

March 7, 1997

Friday,

Science - 89.19 per cent Teaching - 98.89 per cent Coop also released the 1996 average salary information for coop students. Actuarial Science students consistently made the highest average weekly salary at every work term level, with first year ActSci students making an average of $499 a week in their frost term and students in their sixth work term grossing $709. F’ar the third, fourth and fifth work term, students in the teaching program made the least, an average of $308 for their third work term and $345 for their Sixth.

The average weekly salary for sixth term co-op students were as follows : Applied Health Sciences - $509 Arts - $527 Engineering - $613 Environmental Studies, Architecture - $490 Environmental Studies, ERS, Geography, Planning (workterm five) - $506 Mathematics - $623 Actuarial Science - $709 Teaching (workterm five) - $345 Science - $524

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A few of our favourite by James Russell Imprint staff

he idea behind the Micro Brewery Show which took place at Fed Hall March 5 and 6 is very simple; sample a bunch of micro brewery beers. Only six breweries were repre-

sented this year, but each one had several different brands, and it offered an excelIent opphtunity to talk to the representatives about the products, and taste the beers one after another to make a good comparison. Althoughthisisthethirdtime Fed Hall has hosted this event,

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there were fewer breweries present than in previous years. Nonetheless, with Brick, Algonquin, Sleeman, Gold Crown and Upper Canada representatives there, a wide selection was available for

sampling.

The Gold Crown Brewery, based in Uptown Waterloo, offered all four of its beers for critiquing. While th&9i11$5 Pilsner and the Re~&tirn brands were good, both the Friws and the Jistm brands stood out with their distinctive tastes and intriguing aromas. While debate raged as to what the flavouring was (Pepper? Cinnamon?), tasters agreed that these were two very interesting beers that required more anaIysi.s. Sleeman, along with its tradi‘tionaK%~~AZe, had a few brands to be sampled, including its new Stdiz Amis. Upper Canada provided a sample of its Trt/e Bock. With a strong-yet-smooth taste,Tnre&c~ may be the perfect winter beer, ideal for sipping inside by the fire. Located in Waterloo, The Brick is a local success story. Founded just 15 ‘years ago, The Brick began brewing beer with a stmng commitment to the German brewing heritage. While brands likeI3mrabm and the new Amdech have a strong following,

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Simon Fraser University offers a unique master of Business m Administration prograh,designed for people who want to prepare for tomorrow’s workplace. It’s one more reason why SFU is Canada’stop-ranked comprehensiveuniversity. 1 Specialist program 1 Year-round (trimester) system 1 Optional Co-op practicums (work se&esters) 1 New building and facilities 1 Fast track for B.BA./B.Comm. students 1 Vancouver location ~B.B.A./B.Comm. students enter throughout the year

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tiave become an integral part of the local beer scene; Algonquin had its Fomxwsa line to sample, but people seemed to gravitate towards the B&uck ~9 Tan or the Hmq, Brown. While Bbuk @ Tan had its defenders, the grand prim seemed to go to the Hmey Brown. The only real downside was the limited number of brewers

represented. But Nikki Wells, the organizer, said that getting more brewers would be one of the major objectives for the show in the fhure. Even with six breweries, the selection was excellent. Ifyour beer consumption has been unenlightened in the past, broaden your horizons a little and check out the next Micro Brewerv Show at Fed Hall.

Secondround woes by Amy Green, SAC Chair special to Imprint

resumes filed. This is a lot ofwork for the people in co-op. More important is the unfair situation created for co-op stuonday was a big day for dents who submitted theirkorms co-op students, espe- on time. It is hard-Iv fair that the cially those of us who person who tried h’tider to get a did& see that glorious word “ofjob should get bumped by somefer” on our ranking forms. So one who couldn’t spend five minwhat happens after that? Conutes on the form and a couple of tinuous phase, of course, which bucks on a few resumes. has changed in one important asFinallv, there is the astxct of the effect on employers ani availpect* able jobs. When students do not As those who have been through continuous phase know, hand in the form and resumes, at the beginning of this round we employers may end up not getare required to turn in the conting anyone and decide that the tinuo~ phase registration form co-Op +ces is not worth their time. (the one with ail the skills listed on one side) and a large bundle of . So, ifyou decide not to hand resumes so that coordinators can in your form and resumes, you match us with jobs that do not get c& cause problems for yourself, posted. The form is due with 15 your fellow students and the coresumes by March 2 1 at the latest. op process. Co-op is trying to Should any co-op student fail protect you and your fellow stuto turn in the form and the dents, as weti as the quality of the resumes, they will be listed as“on process by enforcing this limit. own-selfimposedl) as of April 25. Direct comments or questions This means that if students have to SAC by e-mailing us at You can not found jobs by this date, they sac@undergrad.math. also e-mail fedsac@watservl and will be expected to fmd co-op akgreen@undergrad.math or placements on their own. To some, this seems highly leave a message in the box by the unfair, but here is the reasoning: SAC board inNH. SAC meetings each term, the data has to be are Tuesdays at 5 130 p.m. in the entered into the system and the Employer Lounge in NH.

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Pension contributions unfiair to the young by Adam Natran

Imprint staff

nder the reforms announced by Finance Minister Paul Martin, correcting the financially flawed Canada Pension Plan (CPP) will mean increasing the contributions that workers currently make while at the same time reducing the benefits available in the future. Premiums paid on incomes of up to $35,800 will rise from the present 5.8 per cent to an astounding 9.9 per cent over the next six years. The provincial and federal governments justir) the rapid increase by pointing out the need to stem an annual shortfall of $4.5 billion. The goal is to create a $115 billion surplus over the next ten years which will provide for the needs of the retiring baby-boomer generation. Although a higher rate was expected by business groups and pension experts, they also argued that benefits for those currently relying on the CPP should be curtailed. However, Martin retied to “penalize senior citizens who are not in a position to make $e adjustments which are required.” Anyone 65 or over by December, 1997 will not be affected by the changes. Instead, titure payments will be reduced. The Finance Minister admitted that the soaring costs of disability and death benefits will

be cut Rthe years to come. Disability will be calculated on a less generous scale and on the condition that the recipient has worked four ofthe prior six years. As well, death benefits will be reduced to $2,500 from $3,580. Overall, employees who are paying into the pensions will get $144 less than the current $8,800 per year after implementation of the changes. Reform members have been among the most vocal in voicing opposition. Ian McClelland denounced the program for placing too large a burden on the young worker. CThe reason is because seniors vote and their grandchildren don’t,” he said. The MP then went on to ridicule the small paymentsthatworking Canadianswill eventually receive in relation to the contributions they are asked to make. The Finance Department agreed that young contributors will get less out of the CPP. Students who start careers when the new rate is in effect will pay two or three percentage points more than thev would have had thev not bee;* subsidizing the benefi;s for seruors.

A fair rate of exchange for expected titure benefits would be placed at 7.5 per cent and not the 9.9 per cent that wiU be paid. The up and coming workers will have to take on the responsibility for . correcting a program that should have been adjusted long ago.

compiled by Patti kmud md Rob Van Kruistum Imprint staff Albania - Unrest as a result of a Wed investment scheme escalated this week in Albania. Virtually all Albanians lost money in the p$amid schemes, although the government is not entirely responsible for their losses. Vlora, a small town in southern Albania, has been the centre of violence for the past six weeks. Now Albanians are pillaging government-owned grain reserves and shooting in the streets. Albanian soldiers have been attempting to restore peace, in spite of the fact that their orders include a shoot-to-kill requirement. Meanwhile, the Albanian government has closed its borders to international media and has restricted the rights of its own media. Canada - Tax cuts are not likely until the next century, suggested Finance Minister Paul Martin. “If you project ahead, there is no doubt that in the decade ahead...we’re going to have decreasing taxes,” he told the Regina Chamber of Commerce.

The 85,000 jobs that have been created over the past four months prove that his strategy is working, says the Finance Minister. Della MacNeil, spokeswoman for the anti-poveqand union demonstrators active outside off arliament Hill, stated that the Liberals have failed to create the jobs they promised. She added that the Liberals’ cuts have hurt the quality of education and health.

independence in Xinjiang since the 1949 Communist takeover. Europe - Researchers at Scotland’s Roslin Institute and PPL Theraputics, responsible for Dolly, the world’s tit adult clone sheep, said Wednesday that they hope to create a genetically manipulated clone by the end of the year. The researchers say cloning is a naturaI outgrowth of their research into animal breechg for the production ofmedicines from animal blood and milk.

china - On Wednesday, Chinese authorities said they arrested several suspects and solved last week’s bomb attacks that killed nine people and wounded 74 in Xinjiang. Muslim sepwatists are waging a campaign for independence in this region. They want to set .up an independent ccEast Turkestan” in Xinjiang, home to many Turkish-speaking people, including those of the Uighur ethnic minority. In February, an anti-Chinese riot by local Uighuurs broke out in Yining in Xinjing. Chinese officials said nine people were killed in the riot-one of the largest and most violent demonstrations for

Israel- Israel’s decision to build 6,500 apartments in a predorninantly Arab area of Jerusalem has drawn international criticism. Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu has Wer antagonized the PLO by closing four Palestinian offices in Jerusalem. Meanwhile, the leader of the PLO, YassarArafat, has suggested that Jerusalem should follow the twin capital model adopted by the Vatican City and Rome. He suggested that Jerusalem should have two offices, one for the Palestinians and one for the Israelis. Thus, Jerusalem can act as capital for Jews and Arabs.

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Well, this term has seen apathy hit some peaks and valleys. I have certainly been guilty of sitting here at my computer and pounding out a column about how not enough students get involved (blah, blah, blah). But before you throw this paper down, I think you should know that apathy is NOT what I will be talking about this week. On the contrary, I would like to talk about the students who make this campus tick, the students who juggle their school work and their part-time jobs so that they can volunteer for the FEDS. The Womyn’s Centre seems like a great place to start my raving. Let me begin by saying “Wow!” Saturday, March 1, kicked off International Women’s Week with a tid-raiser event at Weavers Arms Pub. The proceeds for this event went to the Sexual Assault Support Centre with cntertainment provided by the likes of Gan Ainm, Faith Notan and Corduroy Leda, The place was packed and everyone was having a great time-and it all occurred because a group of women volunteered their time to make it happen* The Womyn’s Centre has had a big week. I want to comment on one more thing which the Centre has done. In light of the increase in attacks on women on-campus over the past year, the Centre decided to do something about it, They found out about a woman who teaches selfdefense and they asked her to come in and teach a

weekend workshop. In addition, the women found ways to subsidize the price of the wo&shop so that anyone who participated only had to pay $10. The volunteers felt quite strongly that financial disadvantages should not prevent women from leaming to defend themselves. But that is not all! VOICES is a word that should be on everyone’s lips. This is an annual publicationofstudent writing, p&try and drawings, and it is-&o pit out by a fabulous group of vol-& teers. Pick up a copy in the Wornyn’s Centre or at the tumkey d&k because it is really something that will impress you. The Womvn’s Centre is not the only place’alive with volunteers. It seems that there are a lot of other students out there who are willing to give up their time to help out with a cause. The Fed Hall Referendum took place last month. This referendum was intended to decide the fate of Fed

Ha& For many, this was an issue that caused anxiety, as the outcome could have rksulted in ciosing the doors of Fed HaU. Well, a group of people rolled up their sleeves in an effort to make sure that this did not happen. Students wrote messages 6n chalk boards, in the snow, on posters and anywhere else that the message would be noticed. These students made sure that people not only came out to vote, but that the vote they made was educated. Thanks to them and to all of you who voted, Federation Hall is here to stay! Of course, there are so many others who have helped make all of the executives’ jobs more enjoyable and even easier to do.

These students deserve a big you” because they truly ones who prove that apathy is not everywhere on this C&P pus and may even disappear completely-some day! “thank are the

Condoms * cause concern by Natalie Gillis Imprint staff

concerned about student health services handing out expired condoms. In fact, the condoms are batch of condoms recently not due to expire until 1999 or handed out by Health and 2000, asidentified by the number dety has caused some beneath the lot number (for exco&ion &ong UW students. ample, the date for a condom The condom packages have expiring in March 2000 would two numbers marked on themappear as 03/2000). the lot number and the expiry “It’s good that students are date. Unfortunately, neither checking the expiry dates-that’s number is identied & such, and important to remember when several students have mistakenly using condoms properly,” saysDr taken the lot number (a six digit Schumacher, director of Health number usually beginning with and Safety. She assures students, 96) to be the expiry date. This has however, that the manufacturer st>arked a number of tlhone caIs has been called and the expiry ti Health and Safety by students dates have been double checked.

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(905) 684-4315, ext. 2470 or fax (905) 684-3 167, or E-mail: enviro@niagarac.on.ca

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

7, 1997

CampusQuestion: by Kerry O’Brien and A&on

Boehm (photos)

Do you think a “No Smokirzg” by-law in Waterloo would be good or bad?

Badinbars-evennon-smokmsmoke when they’re drunk Tyson sproule, 1B Science

Jen Deulin, 1B Math

SSRS GREAT .DENIM’ ENT SAVE 25%

Good., I’m allergjc to smoke so secondhand kills me. cede smith, 3A Social Development

Studies

Mike T&ford, 2BArts

on all Women’s, Mets & Children’s* Denim SelectionIncludes... + * ‘+

Bad. we’ll lose all the French tourists. GofdonBurri& 4.A Civil Engineering

Good, becausesmokingis a hugecause of iU hea& LizHoody 3A Environment & Remunx Studies

...++?q my.. i..., .,.:... x... R

Good, because non-smokers shouldn’t be affected by the habits of others. Kim Hobes, 3B Science

&od. People shouldn’t be subjected to smoke if they don’t want to be. Mark Smith, 2BEngineering

Shop Fairview Park 200 Fairway Road, Kitchener, Ontario * Excludes ALL Calvin Klein

Manufacturing D issent by Sandy Atwal Imprint. EIC

Feminism

is Boring

nternational Women’s Week has come and gone and the shrill, high-pitched shriek of feminkts I everywhere has settled into a dull gru.mbling once again. The tired bmords “oppression,” “patriarchy” and “systemic discrimination” will be a little less visible starting Monday and not a moment too soon. What is most depressing about International Women’s Week is how incredibly boring the whole thing is. Virtually every article, poem and anecdotal confession made available during this week falls into one of two groups, which I like to call the “I am Womyn, Hear Me Roar”category and the CLBuo, hoo, Life is Unfair” category, Many of the “Boo hoo, Life is Unfair” arguments are an attempt to steal pain from the past. This line of reasoning argues that an offense suffered by a woman is an offense suffered by all women, Feminists typicaUy attempt to appropriate the legitimate oppression suffered by other women, thus generating some sort of sympathy, or perhaps, some converts to their cause. This is utter nonsense. This is akin to suggesting that since many men have been oppressed in the past, I am similarly owed some redress by contemporary society. I suggest that we should get out of Mr. Peabody’s Way-Back Machine long enough to take a look at the world as it exists now. A 1993 Statscan survey of 3.7 million managers and professionals (both women and men, 25 years and older) found that women represented a minority in those categories. No surprises there. However the gap is hardly as gigantic asone might think, The final ratio: 50.4 per cent were men and 49.6 per cent were women. The same study found that women represent a majmity in the “professional” category which includes lawyers, doctors, accountants and mathematicians, but a minority in managerial positions. Moving to the hiring of professors, we turn to Grant Brown, a former UW student currently completing his D. Phil, at Oxford. Brown has carefully examined affirmative action policies in Canada and the results are, shall we say, surprising. Brown’s statistics examine the hiring of full professors, assistant professors and associate professors prior to 1987. That time frame is important because it comes before the implementation of the Federal Employment Equity Act, thus precluding the claim that these figures were affected by that bill. Asofthe 19861987year,therewerelO,lOOFull Professors in Canada. Females represented only 631 of those professors. However, when we look at the hiring pool, we see that there were only 768 women who received their Ph.D.s between 1955 and 1970 who were eligible for &se positions. That is to say, 82.2 per cent of women with Ph.D.s were employed by the end of 1987. The trend is much the same for Associate professors. In the same time period of 19%~1970,10,707 Ph.D.swereearnedbymenandwomen. Ofthe 1,381 earned by women, 1,259 had jobs by the end of 1987. I am not asking that women be satisfied with what they have. Obvio@y, the raw number ofwomen with degrees is woefdly lacking in areas such as mathematics and engineering, but the progress being made from year to year is staggering. To be satisfied witfi what you have, be you a man or a woman, is the same as being dead, but I must wonder why is it up to me to publish figures such as these? Well, the simple answer is that these figures (take them as you will) don’t quite mesh with the image of women as oppressed helpless beings everywhere. I never feel anger toward3 any women at UW when I read their htile ramblings. It’s more sad than angering that the oppression that these women have personally felt (and I stress personally) is marginal at best. They are largely white, university-educated, middle-class women who are af5orded benefits that their predecessors could never have tigined-benefits that many men in the world don’t enjoy. But as the title of this column suggests, it is the utter boredom of memorized phrases that is truly unbearable. The fight for equality, justice and fairness is a noble one. But when the battle cry fbr justice and equality comes from privileged university students in Southern Ontario, it rings hollow,

The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces, The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint.

The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper Ffihy March 7,1997 Volume 19, Number 30 l

Student Lifk Centre, Room Utiversity of Waterloo -Waterloo, Ontario N2L 361

Editorial Editor in Chief Editor-in-Chief-elect Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor SPOITS Assistant Features Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant Graphic Editor WWW Page Editor WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Proofreaders

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Board Sandy Atwal Peter LRnardon Patti Lenad Katie Ricks Karsten W. Gitter James Russell Debbra McClintock Jeff Peeters Greg Picken Tracy Hunt Mike

Owen

Gillian Dowries Paul Rencoret Stephen Johnston Justin Kominar Mq Ellen Foster Man Nguyen Steve. Johnston Lori Hayston Amberlee Howlett Liz Monier-Williams Rob Van Kruistum Patrick Wilkins

Staff Business Manager Ad/Production Manager U/Production Assistants

Marea Laurie Tania Adam

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Ryan Pyette Natalie Gillis Rob Van Kruistum Jeff Peeters Stephen Johnston Jeff Robertson

Distribution Jeff Robertson James Russell

Contribution

List

Kudra Alobar, Steve Banks, Alison Boehm, Peter Brown: Emily Bruner, Stephania Bunka, Kelly Foley, Peter Garcin, Amy Green, Val Hennig, Selene Hur, Amy Jarvis, Lei.& Jenkinson, Brian Kalbfleisch, Greg K&chick, Jack Lefcourt, John Lofranco, Melissa MacDonald, Andrew Moffat, Sean Moore, Adam Natlan, Pete Nesbitt, Kerry O’Brien, Michael ollley, Tasmina Patel, Julie Primeau, John Rowland, Pat Spacek, David Thang, WPIRG, Mike Yunker Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 07067380. Mail should be addressed b Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Wate’rloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl.

Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint. the student who has to take what they can away from the course. I spent two years in an engineering program at another university before switching to Waterloo CS. We were reMr. Bdizba9=ba3 cm2jZict of interest k that&y doing-j n&Gig ah& his adamation be will quired to take courses on ethics and comJain $26,400 in salary. Since Mario has munication. What did I get out of worked with the other Feds over the past them? Pretty much nothing. Why? Simply because one cannot teach ethics and comyear, it is reasonable toassume that C&&l may be biased in favour OfgivingMario the munication -in a classroom setting. The university would only be wasting the stuacclaimed position. The onlv wav to avoid the bias, &d any calls of cor&ct df interest, dents’ time by forcing them to take such is to hold an election. courses. Summer jobs and co-op jobs are Mario concludes his letter heroically, there to teach communication in a practical writing: ‘There may be those who think it environment. is within my power to reopen the elections, One major piece of misi.n.Gormation in but the reality is that I answer to Council, Mr. Yurkiv’s article is that Waterloo CS to the students of this University, and to the students are not permitted to work in principles of that tyhich is fair and jzat.” groups. In fact, &is is totally untrue of [italics mine]. certain CS courses. It mav be the casein the At the risk of spoiling the mood of that earlier courses in the curriculum that group truly poetic phrase, I would like to add that work is-not permitted, but I suspect this is I would be more comfortable if Mario for a very good reason. If one cannot get would meet the commitments required of I through the “introductory” CS material him by the corporation ofthe Federation of on an individual basis, what is the likelihood that this person will perform well in Students. Instead of contacting a lawyer to see whether it was legal for him to be a group? acclaimed to his position, Mario should Further on, Mr. Yurkiv writes, Wnihave contacted the UW Ethics Committee. versity isn’t just about practical skills.” University isn’t about practical skills, PeInsteadofcountingonthepeopleheknows on Council for his acclamation, Mario riod. If you have come to university to get should do what his current position re- some sort of a practical education, then you quires of him. Mario should show some are fooling $ou.rself, and will be sorely leadership, and admit that the Feds have a disillusion& once you graduate. Univeiconflict 6f interest by calling an election. sity, regardless ofyoUr prOgram of study, is Do this Mario, and you will really answer Jhixe t0 improve yoUu&i&ng skills. to the students of this University. I can’t help but think what prompted By the way, Mario may not be able to Mr. Yurlci~?s article were some low grades convince Council to force an election for all in the mathcourses he had to take. No, they positions, but i%&ti can emwe that there aren’t easy. They are time consuming, and will be an electbn held fm President uf the they require you to think in a highly theoFe&dim cf’stuhts. retical way. So, very simply pu& if you don’t like math and you don’t l&e thinking - JmaMkKky too hard, then perhaps you are better off in a CS program at a different university. Otherwise, Waterloo CS is probably one of the better ways to go. modified in special circumstances. It is the job of those people who have been elected to the Feds to make decisions at times when the rules do not give adequate guidance.

Imprint arrogant? To the Edhr,

tier reading “Moulding the Student Consciousness” in last week’s Imprint, I realized that the most cocky, self-serving, arrogant bastards on campus are no longer engineers. -Jams

Thai

reds’ purpose to serve students To the Editor,

The letter in the Imprint by current president of the Federation of Students, Mario Bellabarba, made it clear that he misunderstood my comments regarding his recent acclamation as President of the Feds. If Mario had read my letter carefully, he would have noticed that I specifically stated that the Federation of Students were technically within the guidelines to acclaim next year’s Executive. Despite his impressive argument that “Democracy isn’t always pretty,” I will attempt to explain my position, and elaborate on Mario’s other insightful observations. It is important to note that as of February 7, four people came forward asking for the elections to be re-opened so that they could run for positions on the Fed Executive. My argument is that the Federation of Students is a corporation whose sole purpose is to serve the interests of students. In my letter I raised the questiodihapdng tbe entire Executive of the Feds mluimed in the interests ofthe stz&nts?My conclusion was, and is, TZU.In her letter to the Imprint, former Federation of Students employee, Tricia Mumby, argues that the by-laws of the Feds must be observed. The corporation of the Federation of Students is just like any other corporation, Mumby argues, and is subject to the same rules of operation. Mumby forgets that the Federation of S&dents is not like other corporations because the University has given the Feds a monopoly. As a shareholder in the Feds I cannot withdraw my money and invest in a more responsive organization. Quite simply, the Feds are the only game in town, and should conduct themselves arcordingly. Shouldn’t the students (the shareholders) be consulted about the Feds acclaiming four people to positions with salaries totalling $105,600!? (Not to mention the personal budgets they control totaLl.ing over $139,000; last year’s figures.) Since the Feds have a monopoly, the rules governing the corporation have to be

Hype for warranted

CS # 1

To the Editor,

Tom Yurkiv managed to write a very misleading article in l&t week’s issue df Imprint, &d I believe it has warranted this rebuttal. Where to begin? It would not be hard to dissect his article paragraph by paragraph, but rather thtigo to s&h lengths, I’ll point out some highlights, He starts off by saying that “by overemphasizing math and ignoring other aspects of CS, Waterloo faculty do their students and the communitv a disservice.” Over-emphasizingmath?So&y,Mr. Yurkiv, but ifyou come to Waterloo for CS you will be working toward a Math degree. Surprise, surprise-you might have to take a bit more math than is required of a CS degree than one that leads to a degree in Science or Arts. He then goes on to describe how the CS curriculum is lacking in courses in the liberal arts and in social aspects of computing. Besides the fact that such courses are available as electives, one might ask ifit is possible to teach things like social and moral obligations in a classroom. The classroom may be able to introduce the student to the issues involved, but it is ultimately

Hype for warranted

CS #2

To the EiGm, This letter is in response to the article 5orcerer’s Apprentices” by Tom Yurkiv, currently a fourth year Simon Fraser University student. I see you had been at Waterloo for two years then transferred to SFU. Now here is a question: How can you comment on a curriculum that you never fished? Taking Computer Science at Waterloo does involve taking a lot of Math courses in the first two years. Why you ask? Well, good software programs do involve a lot of acult calculations, not just addition and multiplication. The third and fourth year of Computer Science involve a lot of programming and critical thhking. It is also incorrectly mentioned that we do not have any critical thinking courses which deal with user hterf=ace and social issues. About group work, yes you are right; maybe cloning your friend’s assignment at Simon Fraser makes you learn much more than here.

You are also concerned that computer science students do not communicate well with employers. Through the Co-op program we do learn to communicate. Most universities do not have a Co-op program so students might come out with perfect vocabularies but with a lack of experience to discuss ideas with fellow employees. Waterloo is regarded as one of the best universities in North America and I’m very proud to be a Computer Science student here.

Thanks for your honesty To the E&w, I wanted to publicly thank an amazing person. On Monday March 3, I lost my wallet in the Davis Centre, continuing my long line of bad luck. I had just cashed my cheque from the used book store so it contained a significant amount of money. mer a panic attack and reporting to UW Police I got’a call that my wallet had been returned intact. This event has returned a lot of faith in humanity that I had lost.So I give a heart felt thank-you to Brian Lee and his group* Thank you for being honest and thank you for showing me there are such good people here on campus, Sincerely,

Outside the Lines not weird 177 To thel&mw,

Kudos Melissa. I have been an avid reader of cLOutside the Lines” for some time now. I too know the issues that Melissa speaks about. Being (probably) the most “0uP gay male on campus, I can understand Melissa’s point of view. I am also on a similar mission as Melissa. My mission is to make people more accepting of gay people. I do this through letting people get to know me, so they reah2.e that we’re not as weird or evil as they may have thought. I do not do this by throwing it in their face and stomping on heterosexuals as a group, as Melissa sometimes tends to do in her column. Evidence of this is seen in Scott Whitlock’s perspective as a straight male in theImprints last set ofletters to the editor. This “straight-bashing” coupled with extreme sarcasm, sometimes goes overboard as seen in the “How to be straight in a gay bar” article. I know straight and gay people that found this article particularly hurtfL.l and insulting. The reason I am writing this is to let people know that not all gay people share and support ALL of the ideas, and ideologies that Melissa presents in each issue nor all of the methods she uses to do so. More ofien than not, Melissa presents very helpti and valid information in her . continued to page 12

12 l

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articles which support her mission. Once in a while though she pushes too far, which in my opinion has the OPPOSITE effect on people. Instead of wo&ing with the people who are suppressing homosexuals, she often works against them, which just perpetuates mis-understanding.

Look at feminism for example. Because some feminists have that “In-your-face I-hate-men” attitude, males now cringe every time they hear the words “I’m a feminist” come out of a woman’s mouth. This is because people assume all feminists are like that. This causes a breakdown in the lines of communication, since a straight male doesn’t want to hear a “feminist” nag at him about how evil he is because he is the cause of all her problems. However he may listen to a woman who has strong views about certain issues, that are presented in a non-confrontational medium. I don’t want to say Tm gay” and have people automatically assume that I have a hatred pf straight people and that I think they are all out to get me. This is not true. I have many straight friends who know that I’m not like this. If you want to see what type of person I am check out my homepa’ge:http:// www.vmzth.uwaterloo& - mweldrid.

You will see that I am just like any other guy-with the single exception that I w& born with a biological tendency to be attracted to other men (I did not have a choice!). So I implore you Melissa to choose your words caremy as you are a voice which speaks for each and every one of us, no matter how many times you say “the views presented here are mine alone.” There are ways to get across the points you wish to make without hatred. Even though we are still a legally suppressed minority, we can’t expect to ask the straight community to accept/respect/not hate us if we cannot offer our hand in peace first. Keep up the good workMelissa, I loved your last column. But help to make the world less confrontational by setting an example. Can’t we all just get along?

Arts section redeems itself Finally, a reason to actually look at the Arts section of our illustrious Imprint. Gracing the section’s front page was a well

IMPRINT,

done review of the recent Metallica concert by Johnathan Evans. Too many times have there been articles on bands which have no substance. “Oh,” they say, “this band sings about stuff that’s meaning11.)‘Whogivesaflyingfuckabout the lyrics anyways? If1 wanted to listen to poetry, I’d fart. What makes Metallica such a great band is the music. Isn’t that what music is about? Today’s younger so-called alternative bands have little musical aptitude. They can’t put two chords together properly. Mind you, there are exceptions to every rule and I can tolerate some of the new guys. But what they lack is oomph. They require the energy that’s needed to put on a good show, hell, even a good album. Sure the Boys In Black use stage props to enhance the experience (like others do as well), but they have the music to backit up. There is a reason Metallica has been around for 14 vears now. As you c& probably guess, I went to the show in Ham&on and was thrilled. It was my third time seeing them and I was defmately not let down. The music was loud (as Mr. Evans puts it). My ears took three days before they stopped ringing, and you know what? I loved it. My voice was hoarse for two days. It was cool. I only wish I didn’t know about the big finale beforehand so I could have experienced the surprise.

For those of you Out there who haven’t given this legendary band a listen, do yourselves a favour. Buy, borrow, or steal an album and listen to it in solitude. Examine the structure of the music and you will realize why Metallica has prospered through the years. Long live good music!

Tuition hikes? Rob a bank! To t&e Editor,

Yes, there is a commotion over rising tuition rates, and all of the concerns expressed are valid, except for those made out of ignorance, like those by Thomas Lang. Like my title, his viewpoints are irrational and made without an ounce of intellect. First, he compares our situation to the VSA, but fails to say that high cost is a barrier to post secondary education south of the border. Higher and higher costs here will promote a similar situation, where only the rich can afford higher education. Higher tuition rates will become a barrier to higher education. He tries to qualify his position by stating that, although he is not less fortunate, he pays for

Friday,

March

his own tuition and books. W&, he must realize that these costs are only a fraction of the cost of a post secondary education. What about housing and food’? Who pays these costs, Thomas? What you need to do is get your nose out of the clouds and realize what others are going through. Although 1 have worked each and every summer, and have held jobs during the school year, I have never been able to cover the U cost. Thus, I have sustained a very sizable debt, but one which I am willing to incur for the promise of the future. However, it is easy to undcrstand why this sizable debt is a barrier to others contemplating tiering their education. I do ail that I can, as do others, so, Thomas, get off of your damn soapbox and see what the real world is like. If you have ever known some of the financially less fortunate, you would realize that we are some of the hardest working, most dedicated students and members within this university. The %zy, carpet-fiber-ridden complaining asses” are usually those flaunting what is in their wallets because that is all that they have. (My apologies to those with money who also work hard and put pride in their intellect. I do not wish to generalize.) And for you to put down the less fortunate f;imilies and their financial situations is a comment to your abso-

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7, 1997

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

lute ignorance. Actually, Thomas Lang did say one thing correctly, that a degree is a step up on the competition and it will be more valuable in the future. But, his reasoning is completely and entirely incorrect, following right along with all of his other arguments. It will be valuable not because of the decline in enrollment, but because of the sophistication of the Canadian job market. Then, he drives home his ignorance with the profound statement of not caring because he is leaving. Bravo, Thomas. To end this, I am glad that Thomas Lang is leaving UW, and I know that I am not alone in this sentiment. However, it is &ortunate that you will graduate from a place of higher learning without learning a single thing. - Sham

MQWC

Advising students satisfying To the Editor, Last February, with an eye to improving my r&u&, I applied for a volunteer position as a Student Carter Advisor. At that time, I wasn’t entirely sure of what I’d be doing with the Career Resources people here at the University of Waterloo, but I did have a particularly’strong suspicion that the experience would enhance my own job searching capabilities. And now, a year later, I could not be more pleased with myself for having handed in that applica-

FORUM

7, 1997 tion to the friendly receptionist at the university Career Resource * Centre, Volunteer work has to be one of the best kept secrets around. In exchange for a few hours of your time each week, you can get some excellent training, an awesome set of transferable skills and satisfaction by the tonne. Meeting terrific people--incredible Career Development professionals; fun, like-minded student volunteers or unbelievably enthusiastic clients-some of the finest people on campus-was the first benefit I had the privilege of enjoying in my new role as a Student Career Advisor. And the training I received to advise undergrads, grads, and alumni was absolutely first class. The leaders of the Career Resource Centre have been training SCAseveryyearforovertenyears, and it most certainly shows. Mv r&urn6 sure looks a lot better Aow than it did last year. I have acquired additional transferable skills over the past several months and I have gained new job entry qualifications. As a bonus, I have been trained to package and market these skills and abilities; this training has the ability to make a positive difference in the job market I am about to enter. You might want to consider filling out an application to become a Student Career Advisor for the 1997- 1998 school year. If you can handle the satisfaction of being helpful and being helped, check it out. Applications are now available at the front desk of the Career Resource Centre. - Stqbtm Noel

Fed Hall renovations To the E&w,

I’m writing in regards to the planned improvements to Fed Hall. From what I’ve heard, and someone please correct me if rrn wrong, the increase in our Fed Hall fee is going towards new carpet, tables and a sound system. Who came up with this plan of action? And why do they want to throw away our money? Federation Hall cetiy has problems. But how in the hell can they be solved by new carpet and fhmku.re? The last time you didn’t go to Fed, was the quality of the sofas a deciding factor? Do Waterloo students shudder at the thought of having to trample on old carpet? I can’t get the image out of my mind of students walking all over their money. My reasons for not going to Fed are quite unrelated to the condition of the tables. When I have gone to Fed it has been for “events”, such as 101, 102, EMloween, Big Sugar, etc. My enjovment has always been hamperkd during these occasions for a few reasons. After waiting in line to get in, which is by no means a complaint for me, I have to wait in a second line for the most inefficient coat check in K-W. The staff are by no means incompetent and do a fure job, but the system sucks. Two workers for the majority of the crow&s coats is obviously insufficient, or else it wouldn’t take halfan hour! Long entrances to coat checks seem to work better and enable more staff to collect coats. Fed could use the examDle of the Revo-

lution. And I think we all have horror stories of trying to get the hell out of Fed (the best part of the night) only to suffer one last time retrieving our coats. I hate it I tells ya! mer having sat in two lines to begin my night, I usually get a little thirsty. Naturafly I head to the bar, only to encounter the standstill mass of bodies fom hell. There are people lined up in rows of four patiently waiting to be served drinks, and behind them are the two lanes for cross town traffic, followed by people standing at the counter. And all ofthese people are in a span of six feet! What group of sadists designed this bar anyway? If there is one thing I can not stand at a bar, it’s slow service. Mind you, the bartenders do a great job-they’re ten times better than the slow pokes at the Turret, but their individual speeds are not enough. I thought the bar on the floor was a great idea, until I tried to get a beer there for 102. I was stand-

ing there fur so damn long, growingmoreandmorefiustratedwith each passing minute that I almost decided to stop drinking! And this I couldn’t believe. As I was standing there with a thumb up my ass, the bartender lefi! And the other bartender just stood there with a thumb up his ass! They had run out of change or something, it was really quite pathetic. I honestly don’t know how they will ever improve the service rate. There are already three bars and a shooter bar. Maybe one on the stage would help. As well, on busy nights table servers are hardly able to get around, and the people they try to serve move around as much as they do. About the new sound system-why? Man, I find these “improvements” so frustrating. Of all the complaints I have for Fed, the sound system has never been one of them. How many of us even l

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‘I‘hc views in this colimn don’t n&essarily represent you or me. I f you agree or disagree with the views exprcsscd hertz then let mc know. Spea k for yourself! kcfolcy@feds.watstar.uwaterloo.ca or ext. 2340

Happy International Women’s Week. Personally, I prefer international women’s Me and in a way it is a personal week. Since fifty per cent of us are women, one would imagine there are millions of minds observing International Women’s Week, For me, it’s a week to celebrate but more importantly, it’s a week to understand the pathos of seven days to commemorate half the world. So, we remember what it is like to be a woman. In some parts of the world it means repression, oppression, subjugation and mutilation. Canada is one of those parts of the world. Most of us don’t want to think about Canada that way. Some would say the suppression of women is not institutionalized, it’s not accepted and it doesn’t happen to the same number. To that I respond; yes, it is institutionalized, if not accepted, it’s ignored,

and

does it matter how many Just like racism, in Canada, we like our sexism to be quiet. Keep it in the

people it Seas?

closet so we can play the role of peace keeper nice nation. The suppression of women is prevalent everywhere, it’s just more subtle. For example, when I was a kid growing up, people told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be. I believe that. What they didn’t tell me, is that I would have to work harder to achieve, shout louder to be heard, and work longer to accomplish my goals. Whether I went to university or not, I will make less than my

male colleagues. I still believe I can be whatever I want to be but I’m not sure ifit’s worth it. When I was a kid, they didn’t tell me when X became my dream I would probably be there alone. It’s still a man’s world. Is it getting better? I hope so, but there doesn’t seem to be too many indicators that women are entering ccnon-traditiona.l” fields with any kind of speed. Last year, women represented 29 per cent of the Math Students, but only 11 per cent ofthe Honours Co-op Computer Science program. Of the Engineering students, 18 per cent were women, but only four per cent of the Computer Engineering students were women. That is four women in a class of 99. Remember that fear you had in grade school ofsticking out. You didn’t want to be the kid with the Roger Rmvjet lunch box when Gemge of the JzmgZewas really cool. It’s not about lunch boxes anymore. It’s about a pervasive human need to belong. I don’t know those four women and I make no assumptions about how they feel. 1 do, however, know how it feels to be the only woman in a room, time after time; to repeatedly have examples made about him and he. I’m told this is simply a linguistic custom. How am I suppose3 to be a part of your world, if I can’t even be a part of your language? Even though, I know I can be whatever I want to be when I grow up, I start to question whether everybody else believes the axiom. So, this week, I remember I can, and will, be whatever I want.

IMPRINT,

by Melissa

Friday,

March 7, 1947

MacDonald

Since this week is International Women’s Week, I’ve been teaching my class about gender roles. I’m currently on a Coop placement teaching ESL. Despite their limited vocabulary, this has proven to be a very exciting topic for my students. It’s been an eye opener for me as well. For example, I recently learned, much to my amusement, that Nicaraguan women are forbidden to eat avocado because of its magical aphrodisiac powers. Evidently it’s okay for men to eat it, because they are permitted to engage in sexual adventures. The same student who told me this also told me that I was basically a fallen women because I admitted to smoking, drinking and having several piercings. While these things have made me chuckle, much of what I’ve learned has been quite upsetting. Many of my students are from the former Yugoslavia and the women have horrific stories of how mass rape was used as a war weapon in that country. The prevalence and acceptance of wife assault in many of my students’ old countries is also highly disturbing. They remind me of the dark reasons behind International Women’s Week. That said, I have to admit that International Women’s Week is one of my favourite occasions. I love the women’s dances, like the “Estrojam” in Toronto. There are so many demos and speakers on everything from prisoner rights to queer theory to black rights to new age healing. What’s an activist to do first? It’s a feminist frenzy of

celebration and political analysis. Fun and feminism can intermingle &er all. I kicked OK this year’s celebration by attending the benefit concert for the K-W Sexual Assault Crisis Centre. My favourite performer was Faith Nolan, who really got the crowd involved with her unrepentant songs of the joys and pain of being a working class black lesbian. After a hearty bashing of Mike Harris, the bourgeoisie, and white privilege, she laid into heterosexism. She tried to get everyone to sing the word “lesbian” and when no one would join her she pretended to be the audience and said: “Yeah I support your struggle sister. I really do. I think you’re almost like regular people.” She tried again with little success,at which point a woman in the audience suggested that maybe there just weren’t any lesbians in the bar. That was hilarious, cause the place was teeming with them. I could easily have spotted 25 with my -“gaydar” (gay radar-a highly controversial ability to identify queers). Voices of Womyn” was officially launched at the benefit. “Voices” is a publication of women’s poetry, short stories, and artwork that the Womyn’s Centre puts together every year. They’re scattered throughout the school, but you can always pick one up in the Student Life Centre or the Womyn’s Centre (Room 2101 SLC). Its contents are passionate, disturbing and silly. It will make you think, it’ll piss you off, it’ll turn you on. Check it out and enjoy International Women’s Week!

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IMPRINT,

FORUM

Friday, March 7, 1997

hwrint Fwword!

by Steve Banks and Brian Kalbfleisch

Last week’s answers: Theme: ill the COIOU~ of ACltOS S : 66.Ha

ACROSS: 1. Steve Smith’s alter ego 7. Seen through the eyes of a IO. One of the few university buildings north of Columbia 12. Good for your puppy’s eyes 13, Kent Brockman progm 16. What Coke is said to have done in the Cola wars 18. Suite: Judy 20. Bond movie 23. Someone present at the scene 25. It has many that cannot see 27. 1 Down normally doesn’t have one 28. Tie together 30. Investigator 35. Flower 36. Deep sleep 38. Ready to eat orange 39. Lazy 41. Where beauty is found 44. It has only one 46. Look after DOWN: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 8. 9.

Late flight Ugly building on a beautiful skyline Close to Dessert vessel It has one that cannot see Van Morrison’s kinda gal It has one that cannot see To cause someone to lose one of their other senses

11. Old Testament credo 12. Where my friends and I like to go on Wednesdays 14. Survivor’s song 15. Type of cable 17. Notices 19. Home of the six-eyed dog 2 1. Look over for a specific characteristic 22. Monkey see, monkey do 24. To have an (see+ the light) 26. Before vision or phones

29. 31. 32. 33. 34. 37. 40. 42. 43. 45.

I only . for you It has two, but uses its tongue to hunt its prey Olde opposite of I Estimate Large passenger ship Looking glass Student Where you keep them A lascivious look Aye

Call of the Wild

Pete

Nesbitt

the

raiabow

31.Zebra 1. Shiner 67. Prince 33. Mars 3. Plaid 68. spade 34. Pink 5. Tan 70. Brown Eyed 38. Kermit 1. Beer Girl 39. Sunburnt 9. Babe 72. Pink Tie Penguin 12. woe 74. Tie 4o.Pinky : 14. Slap 77. Cairo 43. Lilac 15. Embarrassed iy’ ~~~~dIy 44. Newspaper 44%Egg 18. warmth 20. Waldo 82: Red 48. Pablo 22. cow 83. Nose SO. Oil 24. Die 85. Win 5 1. Green Eggs 86. Tea and Ham 25.Art 27. Hate 89. Rye 52. Monster 28. Paint 90. Blushing Nun 55. Clubs 29. Hue 93. Ice 58. Neon 30. Haze 95. stars 59. Roses 32. Bread 96. Blue Eyes 61, Never 24. Parrot 63. Amber 35. BlueMeanies DOWN: 64. Redlights 36. Ale 65. Miel 37. Cookies 1. Snow 66. Hopper 41. Ant 2. Edit 69. Palate 42. Vulcan 3. Pale 71.Whale 73. Ebony 4. Dye 45. Ones 75. Owe 6. Aura 47. Rain 76. Bee 8. Redwood 48. Purple 18. Opal 10. Bloodcells 49. Leg0 1I. Kaleidoscope 80. Orange 51.Gem 84. Seas 13.Earth 53. Blacks 87. Ink 16. Blue 54. soy 88. Emu 17. Slate 55. Cab 89. Rats 19. Hugh 56. Lime 90. Boy 21.Cake 57, Brown 23. Whites Only 91- Nag 60. Land 92. USA 26. Red Rover 62. Banana 94. Sky 28. Police 65. Monet

and

Pat

Spacek

The first film capable of inducing psychotropic effects in the viewer, Jimmy Stewart Drops A&i! (a.k.a. A4r. Smith Goes To Bananatown) was confiscated by the CIA upon completion. Afte: WWIII destroyed civil&on in 1972, the United Nations locked the survivors in cages and forced them to watch the movie continuously. The mass hallucination we call nrealityW’ is the result, ’ ’

Come Visit

at. m l

tudent Life Centr

POSITION AVAILABLE Co-ordinatcw Drop off cover letters and resumes in the Fed Office. For more information, pick up a job description from the Fed Off ice, call Mario at ext. 2478 or e-mail at fedpres@feds. APPLICATIONSARE DUE beforea: p.m. Friday, March 21197.

Anyone Interested? in helping to organize events for Anti-Discrimination Week can contact Heather in the Fed Office or call ext. 6331 I m Orders for a COOD FOOD BOX due TODAY, March 7, before 4:30 p.m. See Heather at the Fed Office.

MikeSomething& TheTesticyclesM

greenbeverages, NotreDameloot,and1

lotsoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;prizes, fun,andthenewextension! 1 W4lerrto &W5hg SWub& STUDENTLIFECENTRE, LOWER LEVEL

IMPRINT, continued

from

page

notice that it’s different from any other bar? It’s fine! And ifpeople think that promoting Fed’s awesome new sound will draw in students, they have another damn thing coming. This is absolutely ridiculous. I wish I had the writing ability to express myself better. Am I alone on these thoughts? If you are reading this and you have some kind of influence in Fed Hall matters, please take my words into consideration before implementing these useless new improvements to poor old Fed. Thanks -

Cum

for listening,

Neil

Referendum Fed Hall #4 To the Editm, Last Friday, after finishing the majority of my midterms, I thought I would head to Fed Hall to relax and party with some friends. I got there at about midnight and there were probably less than f@ people inside. Surprise, surprise! In any case, I still wanted to go inside but the bar was chained and locked down. I asked the bouncer what was going on? Why is the bar closed? He said, LTonight is an all-ages dance for high school students from the Kitchener/Waterloo area.” He

then told me, “It’s five bucks to get in.” He proceeded to check identification of the kids behind me. He said that, “Any type of identification is fine, bus passes will do.” So, as a student at my own

University,

I am supposed

Ewitji

WATEtiLOO

PUBLIC RESEARCH Studrnt

Lifm

Eat-k 2570 +wpirgOwaturvl ehttp://watirrvl

WPIRG’s Annual Dinner and General Meeting for the purpose of electing theBoard of Directors and reporting on the activities of the previous fiscal year will be held in the Student Life Gnu-e, multi-purpose room, Tuesday, March 11, at 500 p. m. A vegetarian dinner will be served at 500 pm ($2 tickets available at the WPIRG office). AGM business and elections will commence at 530 pm, To vote, you must be a paid member. WOW GREEN IS G*R*E*E*P? Although

George

Weston

Ltd.

companies, Zehrs and Loblaws, proudly sell G*R*E*E*&P pro&c&, another Weston company, E.B. Eddy, buys old-growth wood logged from the Temagami region, where less than one per cent of remainingold-growth pine in North America still stands. LoggingbeganinTemagami on September 3, 1996 in the 0wa.i.n Lake forest, the third largest stand of old-growth pine forest left on the continent. Seventyeight per cent of Temagami is open to deforestation and mining despite the rarity of this type of ecosystem, the habitat it provides to endangered species such as the golden eagle and the eastern cou-

Cmntrs

With all this talk about Martin Luther King these days, I thought I’d shed some light on a much negiected King. King Diamond just recently released a fantastic new album called the Graveyard and it disappeared from HMV Montreal within hours. That’s why they call him the King. Now why mention the “Steven King ofHeavy Metal,” in today’s age of Grunge and Alternative Pop? Well there was quite a rant about the state of today’s music in the Imprint last week. The solution? Stop whining and check out your local CD retailer. Go to HMV, pick up an unknown album and try it at the listening booth. It% the only way tb go, If you’re a little lost and don’t know where to start, try taking a stab at these discs... Midnight Oil-Breathe: A new album from the guys down under. Catchy and full of feeling. It makes you want to go check out the surf YngwieMalmstein-1mp+at&m: Something old fi-om the Neoclassical cheese king. He doesn’t like the word cover, but that’s what he’s doing with a bunch of old classics. That’s right, he’s

Yngwinized

them.

This

CD’s

cheesy it comes out of a can. Clarke, Di Meola, Panty-The Rite ufStiqx- This CD features the meeting of three demigods; St&ey Clarke, Al Di Meola and Jean-Luc Ponty. It’s acoustic, without gimmick and runs circles around anything heard recently on CFNY. No cheese was consumed during production of this CD. King Diamond-Z%e &zvcyurd: Heavy Metal Horror at its best. Really aggressiveguitarwork mixed in -with the Kings wail. Great mn for the whole family. Nuno Bettencourt has got a new album. The Finn brothers

886-

have gotten together. No Doubt sounds really neat. Republica makes my feet stomp..... q ’ Then again, you don’t need anyone telling you what to listen to. It% just like reading a book. You won’t know what to think until you’ve read it. Thinkbacktenyearsandthey

were called Warrant. I accept your right to ref&e bad music. But there’s enough good music being produced these days for you to ignore what’s not. You just have to work hard to find it. ‘Happy whirling.. . -~hn ~0 4!2Msem*

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gar, and it is the homeland for the native peoples in the area, such as the Teme-Augama Anishnabai. Once &forest disappears it cannot be reforested back to its original state maintaining the diverse and intricate connections between every living organism in the area. Once mining begins, the open pits and tailings could scar and contaminate waters and barren cleared lands. It would not be there for more sustainable longterm “uses” such as ecotourism. Its intrinsic value, just by being there, would be lost. Goulard Lumber is the forestry company with a license to log i.nTemagami. They are selling jack pine, spruce, and those majestic white pines as white pine chips to E.B. Eddy. E.B. Eddy is also buying up logging licenses throughout northern and central Ontario, and is already getting wood from the Algoma Highlands, north of Sault Ste. Marie, as well as from Algonquin Provincial Park. They are sending it to their kraft pulp mills; they are turning some old-growth trees into pressboard. Qn its homepage <http:// www.weston.ca>, Weston Ltd.

Another King deserving mention

pay five dollars, not be able to drink and have the privilege of hanging out with a bunch of adolescents-all at Canada’s largest student night-club. Check that, Canada’s one and only University night-club that markets itself to high school kids. The point here is not to knock Fed, or the number of people that were there. The real question I have is, who’s the moron that runs Fed Hall and why have ‘YOUR” Federation of Students decided to hire him/her. I would think that on a Friday night, or any other night for that matter, I would be able to relax and socialize with University students, not a bunch of secondary school children, who should be tucked in bed at that time of night. I have no sympathy for the Federation of Students, who cry that Fed Hall is losing money and wonder why places like Loose Change Lottie’s are jammed every night. Well, let me tell you why Mario Bellabarba, it’s because you have decided to hire a brainless idiot who should be managing a nursery, not a night-club. And then I wonder why I voted “yes.” -Alem

FORUM

Friday, March 7, 1997

George

says that Weston recognizes that as a corporation, its directors, officers, andemploy-

ees are a part of a larger community, and as such, must make every practical effort to protect the interests of that comrnuni~.” Help clarifjr the community’s interests for George Weston Ltd. Do we really find it essential that irreplaceable ecosystems besacrif&d? Do we really want to support a corporation that seesno problem in promoting environmentallyfriendly products on one hand, while endorsing the destruction of the environment on the other? Write letters to George Weston Ltd. and/or the government voicing your opinion, or pick up addresses and postcards to send to Zehrs and/or Weston from the WPIRG office. You can even come out to the information picket on Zehrs being organized by WPIRG’s Forestry Action Group this Saturday, March 8 at noon, along King St. in front of Waterloo TownSquare. St;;ind up for the environment by standing up to the corporation&at invade it; let them know that nature has a voice, and consumers arewilling to defend it. Write to: W, Galen Weston, Chairman, George Weston Ltd. 22 St. Clair Ave. E, Toronto, ON M4T 2S8 and Premier Mike Harris, Rm 281, Legislative Building, Queen’s Park, Toronto, ON M7A 1Al.

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IMPRINT,

Friday, March 7, 1997

Teacher Certification

in Scotland

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lain Maclean of Northern College welcomes you to an Information Session for Ontario-approved Primary or Secondary Certification at one of the U.K.3 leading Institutions.

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MASTERS IN ECONO.MICS

Puck. I find it vastly amusing that people are afraid of that simple little word. Well, amusing and more than alittle pathetic. It’s just a word like any other. Believe it or not, it can’t hurt you. Nonetheless, I’m sure there are people flipping past this column right now because they don’t like it. Fuck fuck fuck. Crybabies. Maybe using f&k is a little unprofessional. I was aghast when I was first accused of such a heinous crime, but now, what the hell. Fuck the critics. This is a university paper after all. Should I pretend that I’m writing for the Globe ad Mid, or should I say whatever the fluck1 want? Ummm, I think I prefer the latter. There’ll be plenty of time for writing boring pap for the masses later on.

Why not be fucking stupid while Ideas l&e Imprint will lose I still can? You don’t get very f;ir advertising because of swearing in Me toning things down out of in the paper are fucking ridicufear of people not liking what you lous. As long as people are leafing have to say. through the pages, advertisers are Regardless of accusations of happy. Do you really think that unprofessionalism (which are a’ they give a f&k what anyone aclittle ridiculous as I am, quite tually writes here? No, they could clearly, not a professional any- care less. They just want to know thing), I just don’t see any reason that people are seeing their ads. If to edit myself. What do I gain? there was a magazine that made a Why would I possibly pass up this point of swearing as much asposopportunity to speak my mind? sible and people read it, it would When am I going to get a chance have advertisers, I guarantee it, like this again? So, afier all this, do I really Sure, maybe I lose a couple of have anything to say about mck? readers because they just can’t No, not really. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. stomach foul, filthy language like It just sort of feels good. Fuck. I spew on a fairly regular basis. Try it, you might like it. Let go of Then again, maybe I gain a couyour fears. Open your mind. ple, people who are simply amused Swear, goddamnit. by the fact that I’m doing someAnd none of that f**k shit. I thing this dumb. After all, who hate that most of all. gives a fuck about fuck? Is it really worth 450 words? Simple answer “Say shit and fuck a million -why the fuck not? times.“--Pump Up The vblume

Question: While I was on my work term, I experienced what I think is sexual harassment, but I am not sure. This person was not my supervisor, but rather another individual in a group of five others with whom I worked on a project. This individual consistently asked me out for drinks tier work despite my numerous refusals and told jokes of a sexual nature whenever we took a break. I felt very contied and uncomfortable about the whole situation, but I do not want to cause any trouble in the department as I need a reference from this company. Am I right abut the harassment? What are my other options? Answer: Sexual harassment is a serious violation of human rights. It is the unwanted attention or advance of a sexual or gender related nature that can a&ct an individual’s work, study or general wellbeing. It can be subtle or openly apparent, direct or indirect, intentional or unintentional, target specific or not.

First, you are not responsible for these actions; so, these occurrences were not your fault. Second, by inquiring and confirming your suspicions, you are taking the first steps towards dealing with this harassment issue. You have a number of options. You can tell a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a counselor or even your minister about the incidents. Talking about it and receiving support from others will help you deal better with the situation, Whether you feel you are ready or not to confront your harasser or to report this individual to your supervisor or the Human Resource Department of your company you should make a record, in as much detail as you can, of all occurrences during this period of time. Include in your report the name ofthe harasser and allnames of witnesses if possible; all d;ttes and times, including the duration of the incidents; locations, whether it occurred in an office, cafeteria, lobby, etc; frequency of occurrences, whether the incidents

Twe don’t use ugly symbols, we won’t have any ugliness.” -Atlas Shu~ed

A+UW The Economics Department welcomes applications from graduates in Math, Engineering and Science into their MA program. Graduates from these disciplines may gain direct entry into the graduate program (regular & coop) with as few as four courses in undergraduate economics, Teaching assistantships and scholarships are available to qualified applicants.

For further information pleasecontact: Pat Shaw Economics Dept., Hagey Hall 210 Ext. 6556

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happened once a week, once a month, or daily; all details of the incidents, noting exactly what was said, if there was any physical contact and ifso where you were touched; and how each incident made you feel. By documenting this information, you will have the proof you need against any disputes that may come up should you decide to pursue this by bringing this to the attention of asupervisor or by bringing about charges against this individual. If you do not feel comfortable by&ning forward with this information at this time, continue to document everything and seek the support you need to help you get through this time. Lfyou have any fUrther questions or feel that you would like to speak to a counselor about this, contact the following on-campus services available to you: the Office of the Ombudsperson at x2402, the Office of Ethical Behaviour and Human Rights at x3765, Counseling Services at X2655.

Renewable energy blows byStephaniaBun.k special txl Imprint enewable energy is a constant in our Me, as people d power agencies experiment with&nova&e new ways to keep the lights on. Well actually, they don’t, or at least not around here. Two mechanical engineers here at UW, who are organizing the Renewable Energy Symposium on March 10 (contact saeb@sail for info), have some ideas on the subject. Currently designing the first Canadian wind turbine, Dave Elzinga and Hans Oberholzer, founders of Elzinga &Oberholzer-Renewable Energy Technologies, are hoping to end the folly of continuing to neglect this free, and virtually non-polluting fuel source. While this alternative energy source is a far cry from the perfixt soiution for all ofCa.nada’s power needs, wind energy does have potential. Xt could in fact provide us with over ten per cent of our electrical energy needs. Several factors come together to supress the idea of turbines in Canada. This country has considerable natural energy resources to begin with. In addition, while environmental consciousness has

hit in many areas, energy issues are not on of them. And fmally, wind turbines have rather long payback times, not turning a profit untillongaf&othersourceswould be in the black. The low costs of energy production that have resulted from our natural wealth have not favoured innovation, and fossil fL4.s (and to a lesser extent hydro) continue to dominate. So many of these energy resources exist that huge surpluses are sold south of the border. Managers ofthese resources continue to extol the immediate benefits to our economy of these exports, while neglecting to look at the longer term picture, i.e., that these resources Gill run out sooner or later, and pollution continues to accumulate. The current state of environmental awareness is such that when the Canadian public demanded recycling programs, the government responded. Elzinga and Oberholzerhypothesizethatequal atrention to wind energy production has been absent due largely to public perceptions of aesthetics. People seem to prefer a relativelyhiddencoal~powerplant., regardless ofits emissions, to rows of large metallic girders with blades, especially when the blades

Ethics forum madness Science Ethics Forum March 5 by Mike Owen ImprintstafT

rian Go gave an enthusiastic opening to the 5th annual Ethics Forum it 5pm on Wednesday evening, preparing the crowd for an interesting, if somewhat inconclusive series of presentations and debates for the evening. The presenters were a highly acclaimed group: Mme Lucie Lapointe, ofthe NRC; Dr. Ralph Nicholls, Professor of Physics (Emeritus), York U.; and Dr. Sumner-Smith, PresidentofBase4 Bioinformatics Incorporated. Quite a group of people, and they had some impr&sivc awards and qualificationi under their belts. Ps too bad there were so few people in attendance. Still, even with the lackluster crowd, the presentations were enjoyable to listen to, and the debatewentwell,thoughithadtobe cut short in the end, While much of the evening’s debate lead to some inconclusive statements,

there were some incidences where real opinions did come out, For example, there were definite feelings shown on the detrimental effects that politics can have on scientific funding. At one point, Mme Lapointe even questioned the right of Canada to be in the G7, considering the state of research fimling in Canada. Too bad no one took her up on the issue. There was also a reasonable debate on the fLnding of Science research, but the problem of the conference did start to show in this area. What this forum could have used was something in the way of an actual debate. Perhaps some students from outside the faculty could have injected an altemateviewpointintotheForum, so that it wouldn’t have seemed so much Iike preaching to the converted.

In spite of this, the evening was well worth the three and a hti hours of my life, Given the accolades of the speakers involved, it’s too bad that more students didn’t take advantage ofthis opportunity to see these people in action.

Break like the wind, baby. are not turning (which is sometimes the case when the wind is insufficient to produce net energy from the system). The founders of Elzinga & Oberholzer are hoping to spur a re-evaluation of the rationale which neglects the ccaesthetic value” of clean air. A quick comparison with Europe shows that despite itierior wind conditions to those in many important regions of Canada, ,extensive wind energy systems have been running satisfactorily for quite some time. This is due largely to their highly devel-

opedenvironmentalcobsciousness, and to some extent to their more limited indigenous resources and aversion to nuclear energy. While the me1 is free and abundant (albeit sporadic), the third major barrier to wind energy is the high capital cost per unit of energy production. These costs are associated with turbine design and manufacture, resulting in much longer payback periods before wind energy begins to be competitive with fossil fuels. Canadian energy producers aren’t interested in this longer- term and

less established option, and the Canadian government isn’t lending much support via any of the policy options at their disposal including green power procurement programs or carbon taxes. Elzinga and Oberholzer believe that energy managers are overlooking this very achievable, practical and advantageous energy option. They are doing their p% to lower costs and improve-the technology, but only when public pressure and policy come on line can we expect to realize this important addition to our energy production system.

SnQfix3 QR?P L TL GOne student’sadventuresin CostaRica F

or ten crazy weeks, Angela Mulholland, former UW student, participated on Project Costa Rica VI with Youth Challenge International, a non-profit development organization. Af?er raising $3 750, and a week of (dis)orientation, Angela set out with seven fellow Canadians, three Australians and two Ticos (Costa Rican for “Costa Rican”) to build a walking irail through the national park of Poas and a concrete school dining hall in the village of Ledezma. The following u are a few segments from her tale. u by Angela Muholland special to Imprint

T”

ay (December 16), I finally found out exactly what I’m going to be doing for the next nine weeks. From the sounds of it, I’m heading straight into the clutches ofimminent death. The first project, Peas, is in a rtiorest area where we will be building a walking trail up the side of an active volcano. I mean, really active. Maybe not an everyday kind of active, but active as in the-last-two-major-eruptionscame-as-a-total-shock kind of active. The second project in Ledezma is not quite as dangerous. The risks onlv involve scorpions, tarantulas and charming, though venomous, five foot snakes. The fact that Ledezma is located only mere inches away from the Nicaraguan border, a countrv known for its warm hospital& to tourist when it isn’t bombing its cities and torturing its felloti citizens only adds to the charm. December

overgrowth, then leveling the grotidandftnally, buildingdraining ditches along the sides. Malcolm (another volunteer) and I are O.D.3 today, which stands for Oficers of the Day (or Oficios de1 Dia), meaning our sole responsibility is to cook the meals for all twelve of us, clean up and do the radio report to headquarters. It aiso means getting up an hour before everyone else, in the freezing dampness, to whip up some breakfast. Assuming, that is, that the stove is cooperating, the electricity hasn’t been knocked out again and that the rats haven’t held a fiesta in the sugar container (their little guilty paw prints are unmistakable). But I guess I shouldn’t complain; it’s going to be a lot harder in Ledezma with no electricity, no plumbing and, of course, no raa becauseallthemammothkiller pythons have eaten them.

J==-Y

Ah, Ledezma! The name has taken on mythic proportions. I guess we’ve been feeling a little spoiled with these two weeks of Canadian-style Iuxuries, so the six

Yesterday we arrived safely, yet wet, in Peas. As it nrrnS out, Peas isn’t really in a rainforest, it% in a CM forest, which is pretty much the same thing, except that it is really high up (2700m above sea level) and really cold. The cold I was not prepared for (%carf and m&es” were not listed in the guidebooks as what to bring), and I definitely wasn’t prepared for the stink. The waf& of sulphur coming out of the volcano crater knock youdeadoffyourfeet.Thestrangest part about it is that the 12 foot trees and the rest of the flourishing fauna don’t seem to notice. I’ve tried counting the number of shades of green that I’ve seen, but it’s impossible. It is so beautiM here. December

January11 Oh, God. This is Ledezma? I really thought I had prepared myselffor every kind of imaginable culture shock. I guess not. ’ To start out with, it’s hot. Like really hot. Violently hot. And then there’s the outhouse. We heard it long before we saw it. The whole structure hums like a giant generator from the blackflies buzzing around in there. Thev’re big and mean with a certain’relish for little white gringo butts. I’m hoping I won’t have to go in there much. I can hold it for the next six weeks, sure I can, I hope. Lastly, there are a lot of small children here, which I had not expected. Let’s just say that kids and I don’t mesh very well. Carlos, one of our Ticos, doesn’t seem to like them much either. He’s beenshuffling around, mumbling about the “Puta mucosos!“, which roughly translates to %nnoying mucous membranes with feet.” The funny thing is, to these kids, we’re the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to them. They can’t stop staring at us; in fact for the last 24 hours they’ve been hovering around us, mesmerized, by our clothes, our equipment, everything*

Tramping through of it in Peas.

the thick

Young local using the hacksaw backwards causing havoc ind distrtss. photos

Good grief, it’s just a few days before we head home, and you know, it hasn’t been all that bad. In fact, it’s been pretty fantastic, much as I do enjoy complaining. The volcano in Poas never did end up erupting. We got used to the heat, the behemoth-sized bugs, and even the food. As for the snakes, none of us saw a single one. That is, until yesterday morning. Lilia, the native women from down the lane, presented us with a six-footer she claims to have

those

ever-inquisitive

kitchen

has ser them

inro

riotous

Muholland

when

Spanish

fits of laughter. And we thought we were doing okay with it. It’s not only our Spanish they’re laughing at, it’s just about everything. Yesterday’s a good example. We had these great plans of making a.-*e---*--Ct~--CI--C---I--Ifruit sala with all the fresh _-

by Angela

beautilly with taquisque. Now, taquisque is a big favorite around Ledezma, but I grew suspicious when Carlos told us that he had never heard of it. The reason? It’s absolutely the vilest veggie on God’s green earth. I don’t want to overstate it, but it tastes like a handful of dirt, tier it has been trampled on by a herd of rabid warthogs. No, it’s worse than that. It’s going to be a long six weeks.

Every attempt to communicate with the community mimbers in our shiny-new, awkward

and generally

fruit that the community brought to welcome us, but after cutting our fingers to shreds with our dull knives on under ripe bananas, we were reduced to tears. I think we ended up having cold rice lefi over from last night* . *I’m not SUR, it’s all a blur. Our next hurdle was trying to get water from the community river, which is conveniently located at the bottom ofa mile long, 65 degree dirt hiU. Getting down there was hard enough but getting back up with a couple of 40 pound jugs of water? Well, that’s kiddies really busted a gut or two. When they finally composed themselves, they politely offered to help, tossed the jugs effortlessly on their heads and bounded back up the hill, giggling all the way, while we gasped ccgracias” and trudged dejectedly behind. Well, I guess they must have raced home to ill their mommies about “those crazy gringos down the road” because soon after, our

January

Today is the first day ofwork on the trail. We’il be using machetes and handsaws for the first

weeks in out-in-the-sticks Ledezma is starting to seem lcinda romantic. Either that or the past five days of pelting, stay-inside-andplay-non-stop-solitaire rain is starting to take its toll. I’ll take anything over this. Yup, Ledezma is starting to look mighty good right about now.

was fbll with

three

cop-

women, slicing and ciicing, sautting and friccass&ng, helping us to get lunch on the table sometime before midnight. They informed us that our so-called bananas are actually ccplantanos,” a chewy vegetable, all wrong ---------I”--for breakfast, but pairs -munity

February

slain

in the same

river

where

bathed unsuspectingly every evening for the last month and a half. She tells us that the venom from this thing will kill you within haif an hour. -m-.---e----

It-3 time

to*‘hQnX.

h-.4&^----.--

: .

There’ll be no MU

this year

Warriors bucked by Mustangs in two straight games by Ryan Tucks” Pyette Imprint staff

very story we ever heard in childhood, it always turned out that the good guys won. Whether it was the,gallant Jason and his Argonauts, the speedy Roadrunner, or the embarrassingIy naive Little Red Riding Hood, it made no difference. Pristine prevailed. Knowing this, would you please inform me why the nationally-loathed WesternMustangs systematically dismantled the beloved Waterloo Warriors last week, clubbing the Black and Gold at CIF 6-2 Thursday, and bucking the Waterlooites back to K-W with a 5-3 capper in London Saturday? Well, first off, sometimes the good guys aren’t hungry enough. Or confident enough. Or tough enough. Most importantly though, sometimes the good guys don’t score nearly enough goals. Tn the frost period of game one, we outshot Western 21-7,“sighed a depressed Warrior coach Don McKee. We were tied l-l. After two, it was 4-1, Western? McKee also spelled out how badly John Wynne’s 48 points were missed this season. We scored 54 less goals this season, and the power play produL%vity went down. We just didn’t have the shooters.” Waterloo Associate coach Dave Cressman also keyed on some vital reasons for the Warrior tent folding up. “Hockey’s a funny game, and we couldn’t grab that intangible,” grimaced Cressie. We made a few costly errors in our own end, and also, Western outmuscled us. We couldn’t get on a roli.”

._ . ..’

:: .I.. . .I..

Western puckstopper CJ. Denomme can onfywatch as Waterloo’s C&g Esdale f&s the puck MO the net. Denomme has the last laugh however, as the Sangs dropped the W~AOIS 6-2 and 5-3 to move on the Queen’s Cup semis. Dhotos

Warrior captain Steve Smith, who played his final organized hockey game Saturday, praised the conquerors. Western reminded me of how we played last season,” observed Smith. They were focused and on -a roll. Unfortunately, we stumbled into the playoffs, and were less confident in ourselves. We hoped We would win, but now, we didn’t know.”

Joe ‘Caged Heat” Harris lunges backwards watdoogoaL

The inevitable breakdowndid not come all at once for the Warriors. It loomed overhead, wisping of impending doom, and settled tigh in the r&ers of the Ice Fields + After an 1 l-2 start where Waterloo showed flashes of brilliance at select times but didn’t play particularly well, the Warriors dropped six of nine down the stretch run, foreshadowing playoff disaster.

make the stick save in the red light c&istrict, I .I

known as the -

bv Mike

Okv

McKee labels January 3 1 against Windsor as a sign of things to come. Ve lost 32 in overtime to the Lancers, and we could have clinched the division. As it turned out, (goalkeeper) Joe Harris had to perform hurt, and we couldn’t rest any of our guys. That ended up hurting us in this series.” It took the Warriors until the foal game of the regular season to clinch frost place. As it stands now, the Mutangs move on to face the upstart York Yeomen in one Ontario semi-final, while Guelph faces UQTR for the six thousandth time in the other semi. Historically speaking, the Warriors acknowledge the stigma attached to their loss to the Mustangs. Not only wilI the third-place ‘Stangs have a glorious opportunity to appear on Maple L&Gardens ice in a few weeks, but Waterloo knows they traditionally experience trouble facing the Purple Sate. During last year’s run, the Warriors hammered Windsor, not Westem. “It’s something we have to overcome,” spells out McKee, Now, asthe playoffs continue without them, the Warrior players and coaching stdflooks ahead to next season. In hockey, of course, there is no definitive, life-ending tragedy in store for the protagonists during the telling, concluding bat&= ,,,cAh:of this story. Only now, for the Black and Gold, the weapon of choice is a pitching wedge, not a Sher-Wd.

SPORTS

IMPRINT, Friday, March 7, 1997

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ast weekend the Waterloo Warriors traveled to Brock to take on the country in CIAU competition. Over 25 universities from across Canada competed in competition that saw the setting of many new CIAU records. The Warriors, who were up to this challenge, included Amy Jarvis, Val Walker, AndrewMoffat and John Milne. Friday’s events included the 1OOm breaststroke where Milne sprinted to a fifkh place fbishin 193.73. Walker swam to a new Waterloo record in a .tkne of 1:15.77. Next up was the 400m IA4 where Jtis set a new Waterloo record in the morning and then proceeded to break it again by Gnashing 14th that night with a 5AB.31.

ing for the finals. 2OOm breaststroke, Walker achieved seventh place nationally with a new best time and Waterloo record of 2:40.31. Also swimming the 20Om breaststroke was Moffat who moved up in the consolation fmal to ftish 13th with a time of 2:21.98, missing the Waterloo record by 0.73 seconds. Up next was Milne who blasted out the 5Om free in 23.54 seconds ftish-

ing 13th. The last swim of the day was Jarvis in the 200 fly who managed toGnishtenthinatimeof2:23.40, another best time and Waterloo record. Then, it was on to the last day of the meet; the biggest event for the Warriors was 50m breaststroke where both MiIne and

ing the Waterloo record in a time of 2:26.93 in the consolation final. With the support of their teammates, who came to cheer the squad on, the swimmers managed to ftish the meet in midfield despite not having enough swimmers to compete in the relays. The Waterloo team will have to say goodbye to two of their CX qualifiers this year. John Milne, whose accomplishments include dominating provincially in the breaststroke events and earning his place on the record board, will behangkguphissuits.AmyJarvis is also graduating this year tier enjoying five fun-filed years with the varsity swim team.

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Karl1Nieva, the proud recipient of the $3,000 grand prize in the -me Chips shootout, is seen here posing with an oversized novelty check and Chief O’Brien from Deep SpaceNine (otherwise known as UWAthletics Marketig guy Bob Copeland). Dhoto courtesy

of UW Athletics

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

SPORTS

7, 1997

1 r on the Internet 1 n

Judith

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by John Lofranco special to Imprint

he Athena track team fmished fourth overall and the Warriors ftished sixth last weekend at the Ontario University Track and Field Championships at York University. In total the team had 45 personal bests (PI%), three varsity records and 10 OWL&I medals. The Athenas were the story of the day, becoming the fust school without ti indoor track facility to defeat any of the four schools (Windsor, Western, Toronto, and York) with a track in team competition at the OVVLAAs. Waterloo’s 92 points easily outscored York’s 39. Remarkably, the Athenas scored their points with only 12 of a possible 26 women competing. The Waterloo ladies were described by coach McFarlane as %mall in number, great in heart and deadly on the’ track.” Heather Moyse, Rachel Nickie and Jill Bennett teamed up with Latoya Austin, one of the country’s top ranked sprinters, to win the 4x2QOm relay in a varsity record time of 1:39.32, putting them at the top of the CIAU rankings. In the 4x4OOm, the versatile Sarah Dtibaugh replaced Austin, and the team stormed to a silver medal and a number two

by John

Lofranco

rankingintheCIAU.The4x80Om Leroy took the silver medal relay team regained the top spot in the 3OOOm, just being outin the nation, with a gold medal kicked by Natalie Cote of Ottawa. and varsity record performance. Leroy’s time was a personal best Lynn Coon, JudithLeroy, Sepanta 9:46.14. Dillabaugh and Leroy Dorri and Dillabaugh ali ran perteamed up, in the 15OOm, ‘but sonal best times, to defeat the couldn’t quite handle another second place team from Queen’s strong kick from Cote. Dillabaugh by almost eight seconds. won the silver in 4:24.59 and Nickie took the silver medal LRI”Oytookthebronzein4:27.03, in the 60m, with a personal best both PBS. of 7.77 seconds with Moyse close On the men’s side, the behind in fifth. Bennett took the 4x200m relay team are on their silver medal in the 60m hurdles, way to CLAU’s after a solid fourth withanotherPB,andCIAUstandplace showing. Chris Bastie, Tulu ard of 8.85 seconds, Bennett Makonnen, Tory Locker and missed the gold by a mere .O3 of Kwame Smart covered their a second. ground in 1:31.37. Nickie andMoyse dominated . Chris McPherson set a varsity again in the 300m, finishing third record in the 300m, with a time of and fifth respectively. Nickie 35.48 seconds. McPherson also smoked an awesome 39.58 sec- helped the 4x4OOm team to a onds, a personal best and CIAU strong finish. standard. Moyse PBed in a big Bill Miller held up the family way, with a blistering 40.83. tradition with a fourth place vault Moyse also scored points with of 4.70m, qualifying him for the a sixth place finish in the triple CTAUS. jump, despite having to back out The crowning achievement of competition early, with a temof the day was Brent McFarlane’s porary injury. She still managed a third Coach of the Year award PB and a varsity record jump of this year. McFarlane was honored 1 l&m, which came on her very as OWIAA and CIAU women’s first jump of the day. cross country Coach of the Year In the distance events, the earlier this season. McFarlane’s dynamic duo of Dillabaugh arrd comments: “A surprise, a’ thrill, Leroy dominated once again. and acknowledgment by one’s Dillabaugh won the 100&n, eas- peers for a team’s success and ily defeating Dana Cunningham improvement is the highlight of of Windsor by just under five my university track and field . seconds. coaching career.”

UPtrswell~o~~~coachB~ntMcFarlaneandsomeoftheoutstandlng~~whomarlP h.imthatway. photo

courtesy

of UW

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Friday, March 7, 1997

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Elaine Irwin is one of the Campus Recreation Student Leaders of the week. Elaine has worked as the CPRjFirst-aid Coordinator with Campus Recreation for three terms. This term she took on the additional challenge of organizing the Mass CPR event that took place last weekend. She spent countless hours arranging for volunteers, equipment and working on promotion.

Sweet

Molly Sweet is the other Campus Recreation Student Leader of the week. Molly raised the largest amount of money at this months Fit for Heart, while working hard to get the most donated prizes from various companies. Molly has taken an Aquafit workshop to expand her Fitness knowledge and abilities. A very enthusiastic and happy person, Molly has taught fitness for CR for many terms.

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RaGhe Nkkie Athena Track iwadField Milne made the finals in two events and the consolation

fmal

in a third

at the

CIAU swimming championships on the weekend in St. Cathties. The secondyear Kinesiology student placed fti in the XOOm breaststroke and sixth in the 50m breaststroke He was also 11th in the 5Om freestyle. These results were Milneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best at the CIAU meet over the past two seasons. C

A second-year student from Toronto, Nickie

ran five

personal

bests

and collected

four medals at the OWIAA championship last weekend at York University. Nickie placed second in the 6Om, third in the 30Om, and contributed to two relay teams: 4x200m (first place, #l CIAU ranking) and 4x200m (second place). Nickie will compete in alI four events at the CIAIYs.

NL East

Atfanta Manager:

Braves Bobby Cax

Hello: bunt? Goodbye: P S&v~ Amy (Red Sax), 3B Terry Pendeltun (IteAr) Keys to Success: Well, staying healthy. OF Andmw Jones has to justiQ expectations, and should, based on last season. Which of 1B Fred McGrifKand OF/lB DavidJustice will be moved to make -room for Jones is the only question heading into spring training. The best rotation in the league, though the bullpen is suspect. The Man: Greg Maddux - The best pitcher in baseball, and one of the best in history. Wti have to rebound from a mediocre 15 11 season to his Cy Young levels. The question is, does he really miss Charlie O’Brien’s catching that much? Prediction: 97-65, NL East winner

Florida Marlins Manager: Jhz Lqhd Hello: OF Bobby Bmi’lla (OK&S), OF Mix&s Alou (Ezcpos), Pk Femundtz (WI&e &IN) Goodbye: P Cti HkmnurmZ (Rd Sax), IB Greg Cuknn (Ttt)inr) Keys to Success: Shelled out nearly $100 mi.L lion in the off-season, plus the millions thrown around last year. If everyone performs up to expectations, they should be a contender. That’s a big if though. The pitching of Fernandez, Al Leiter and Kevin Brown is a dominating l-2-3, but who’s af& that? The Man: Gary Sheffield - A perennial All-Star will be surrounded by a lot more talent this year, and his stats should reflect that. Prediction: 95-67, Wild Card winner

Montreal Expos Manager: Felipe Ahu Hello: P mtt Wwsw (Mktinm), C Chris Wd$pr (Marinevr), PJdm Bulhgm (Ctibs) Goodbye: PMel Rojm (C&s), OF M&s Ah (Fhidi), P J@Fmm (A&&m) Keys to Success: As always, the development of younger players. OF Vlademir Guerrero is being touted as a superstar of the future, but for which team! The loss of Rojas really hurts, leaving the team without a legitimate closer. They% contend, but won’t win. Again The Man: Pedro Martinez - He gets into trouble by hitting batters and causing fights, but he’s a young power pitcher with a live arm. With last year’s ace Fassero traded away, Martinez becomes the ace by default. Prediction: 85-77

New Yorlc Mets Manger: &&by Vhtinc Hello: IB John Okwd (Bhe Jays), P Greed MciM~bucl {Bnivcs) Goodbye: P Robert Fe-mm (Blue Jays), IB Rico

Bmpa (Phi&s), C Bmt Mizym (YMminm) Keys to Success: Young pitchers Paul Wilson, Jason Isringhausen and Bill Pulsipher will have to come back from injury-riddled and disappointing seasons. A return to form by Olerud would make him a real steal. OF’s Bernard Gilkey and Lance Johnson need to repeat stellar 1996 stats. The Man: Todd Hundley - Set new offensive records for catchers last season, and will be looked on to repeat that again. Soiid defensively, a natural leader and the top hitter on an under-powered squad. Prediction: 76-86

Philadelphia Philks Maqer: Teny Frwcona Hello: 1B Rico Bmppz (Mets), OF RRlc Hwi,& (Angelr), P Miwk Pmtugal (I&&), OF Deny Tutihll (White So.@ Goodbye:CB~itoS/Entiagu(~~Jays), OFJim Eimreich (.34&v&s) Keys to Success: Replacing OF Lenny Dykstra, who’s gone for good with back injuries. The l%i.U.ies will rival the Tigers for the worst record in baseball, with OF Gregg Jderies and P Ricky Bottalico as the only recognizable players lefi, The Man: Curt FchilLng - The main sign that he’s the franchise player? He’s the only Phillie mentioned in trade rumours. He will help the team more by being traded for fixrure prospects. Prediction: 63-99

NL Central

St. Louis cardinals Manager: Tmy La Wa Hello: 2B Delino lIeSbe&& (L&I&~) Goalbye: SS O&e Smith (retired) Keys to Success: P Andy Benes rounded into form, and his brother P Alan Benes surprised as a quality starter. Watch for the development of 1B Dmitri Young, who could make last year’s starter, John Mabry, expendable. The Man: Ray Lankford - The best player in one of the best outfields in baseball. He put up all-star stats last season, and will continue to improve. If’ the Cardinals do anything big, he will be one of the reasons. Prediction: 9 l-71, AL Central winner

Houston Astros Manager: Lmy LX&m Hello: SS Put List&~ flizsktxs) Goodbye: SS Orlando Miller {T&q), P Doug Lkabek (White SW) Keys to Success: OF Bob Abreu is being counted on to step up and take a spot in the starting lineup. The offense is decent, but the pitching will be problematic. Drabek was a bust, but at least he was there every fifi day. Injuries exposed a lack of depth last season, partic&.rly in the bullpen. The Man: Jeff Bagwell - A tremendous talent, he runs, hits, steals and fields with the best of them. The only thing to stop this perennial Triple-crown threat are injuries. Prediction: 83-79

Cincinnati Reds Manager: Ray I&&& Hdo: 3B Terry Pm&.lim (Bmws), OF Deim Sanh, P I&t Mmckm (Chit&s), OF Ruben sierra (Ti&+?$ Goodbye: OF Eric Davis (tiles), OF Kivh Mitehe &uizims) Keys to Success: Avoiding off-field interference from Marge Schott. On the field, the Reds have decent talent at most positions, and are in the hunt for 1B Fred McGriff. I? Jose Rijo is likely out for the year. The Man: Barry Larkin - The best shortstop in the National League, he won theMVP award in 1995, but managed to put up better num~rs in 1996.Wi.B be counted on to lead again in 1997. Prediction: 81-81

Chicago Cubs Manager: Jim &&l&mm Hello: P Mel Rgiu (C&s), P K&n Tupani (white Siq), SS Sham Dun5W (Gkzntr), P T’ Miclbolland (MLwiurmr) Goodbye: P Jaime Nizvam (White S-m), P Jim Btclliinger (E9pus) Keys to Success: The Cubs won’t win the World Series this year, but that’s nothing new for Cubs fans. Mark Grace isn’t terribly happy, Sammy Sosa is injury prone, Ryne Sandberg is just plain old. Pitching increased tremendously in the off-season. The Fan: Mark Grace - Compared to the rest of this unproven team, Grace’s ,300 average and decent homer and RBI numbers stand out. Prediction: 74-88

Pittsburggh Pirates Manager: Gene Lavnont Hello: SS Kevin Elster (Rmpmj Goodbye: OF ~&RU&I Mmed (Bhe Jays), 2B Curb Gahz (Blw Jays), IB J@Kiq (Roy&), SS Jay Belt (Xqwh-) Keys to Success: Just developing their youngsters should be considered success enough. They cut the payroll to less than what Albert Belle is making, in the hope that they can build a winner from within. It’ll be painful for Pirates fans, but the future could be bright. The Man: Jason Kendall - Last year’s all-star representative, the second year catcher is one of the few veterans on this squad. He’ll help develop a green pitching stafK Prediction: 59-103

NL west

San Diego Padres Mauager: Bnuz BOGGY Hello: PSmZiqgHiit~hk (.nm), 2BQ&G vi (Mkrlinr) (Sodbye: P Scan SuW (me), P Bob T~ksbu?y (Ttim) Getting rid of Rickey Keys to Success:

Henderson will allow Steve Finley, Tony Gwynn and Greg Vaughn to form a strong and happy outfield. 3B Ken Caminiti’s recovery from surgery will be closely watched. The pitching St& is deep, but has to stay healthy and Trevor Hoffman will be a top closer this season. The Man: Ken Caminiti - Finally realized the potential hc never met with the Astros. Strong defensively and an incredible leader, the 1996 MVP underwent shoulder surgery over the winter, but will be back for the season opener. Prediction: 90-72, AL West winner

/ xm!3 Angeles Dodgers Manager: Bill Radd Hello: 3B Todd Zeile (oriotes;) Goodbye: 33M&Bhw (&fmim$, 2BLhhw lIeSbed& (Cardhuh) Keys to Success: Generating offense is the key. 1B Eric Karros, OF Raul Mondesi and C Mike Piazza can only do so much. Is Todd Zeile the answer at third base? Mike Blowers sure wasn’t last season. Pitching is deep and talented, though there is no one closer on this squad. The Man: Mike Piazza - A great ieader and a tremendous offensive force, but will not put up the superstar numbers without a better supporting cast. Sti& not a bad deal from a guy drafted as a f&our to his father. Prediction: 89-73

Colorado R&2 Manager: Lkm Bay&~ Hello: C KiclzMhzw~ti~ (Girwzts) Goodbye: PAmmado Rcynon, (Mets) Keys to Suuxss: Well, Denver maintaining its air pressure. The offence will smash tons of home runs and score runs by the dozens. The question is pitching. Bti Swifi is back and Kevin Ritz is a solid starter, but otherwise, the prospects are scary. One example: last year’s closer wants to be a starter now. The Man: Dante Bichette -Colorado is blessed with a high altitude a number of power hitters, but Bichette is the best, putting up average, RBI’s, home runs and stolen bases. Prediction: HI-82

San Fran&co Giants Manager: Lhq&zk~ Hello: D J@Icht {Indims), SS Jose Vkmim (Ih&ws), IB J.T. Sww (Angel) Goodbye: 33 Matt WWawns (Indims), SS simvun Dunstun (Cubs) Keys to Success: With one legitimate talent, and no pitching staff to speak of, San Francisco fm can expect another losing setion. The allnew infield will hopefuUy pay dividends. The Man: Barry Bonds - Now the highest paid player in baseball, one has to wonder how many players you could have gotten for rl~e nearly $12 million that Barry will get. Puts up great numhers, but he’s the only one on the team that will. Prediction: 71-91

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

7, 1997

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M LB’s inactivity forces umpires to take action

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The umpires have had enough. They are sick and tired of all the crap that they have to take and aren’t going to take anymore. Major League Umpires Union chief Richie Phillips has stated that the umpires will no longer bendover backwards to keep players in the game. Now, they will simply receive a quick ejection. Yes, this is all f;tllout from the infamous spitting incident involving Roberto Alomar and John Hirschbeck that probably should have been put to rest a long time ago. Problem is, it wasn’t, so it’s come to this. The umpires have no other choice. Major League Baseball slapped Alomar on the wrist with a five-game suspension last season that s@ hasn’t been served. No wonder they’re frustrated. In fact, Alomar’s going to get paid his fill salary ciirini hiGu+en-

sion. What a ripoff. Baseball failed to carry out justice. So now, unfortunately, the umpires must take matters into their own hands, since nobody else seems to be doing it. Umpires are supposed to be an impartial authority figure. Unforrunately, nobody seems to respect their authority anymore. Witness the countless arguments between players, managers and umpires these days. All this escalates into senseless incidents such as the Alomar one. Then, when baseball doesn’t act appropriately on such incidents, it opens the door wide open for even more serious transgressions. Somebody had to put a stop to this, and baseball wasn’t about to. People complain that officials in other sports put up with crap from players and coaches as well. Sure. But the leagues that they work for also give out appropriate

punishments for transgressions against officials. Real punishments. None of this paid suspension stuff. Apparently, people &ink that it is their God-given right to argue with officials. This is probably the most ludicrous thing that I have ever heard. Arguing with afi umpire is a-de granted by the umpire at his discretion, not a right. Umpires are simply revoking that privilege. It’s sad that the umpires had to take matters into their own hands like this. It’s also sad that they had no other alternative since baseba4 is refusing to stand behind its umpires. Other leagues defend their officials with admirable persistence, why can’t Major League Baseball? Oh yeah, I remember. That would require somebody to take charge. What was I thinking?

A dozenutterly sarcasticwaysto improvesports Like most sports fans, I have more than a few suggestions on how to improve the-irofessional sports that I love. Rather than bore you with the intelligent ones, I present you with a baker’s dozen of the best ideas alcohol could buy:

Number2 Create a whole bunch of Michael Jordan clones, but make them all a little bit different: some that are T3”, one that has five foot arms, and one whose head has 1 been replaced by a giant Nike swoosh.

#I S for - 1 Glasses or 1

Have TSN’s Teresa Kruze make more sexually innuedoed comments like Woody% going to have some stiff competition this year.” Heh heh. Huh huh.

Number

Cam&, who would inevitably come up with something uglier than Jarnie Macoun’s defence.

747-5657

Number

Eliminate the neutral-zone trap in the NHL by eliminating the neutral-zone. Maybe even make the rink circular. Insist that every referee coif his hair like the impeccable Kerry Fraser.

Number

Number1

91 King Street, N., WATERLOO

Number

Sign a collective bargaining apeement in baseball. Haha haha haha, boy it felt good to laugh like that. L

Nxmiber7 Let Sports Illustrated run fif+one swimsuit issues, and the special baseball preview issue in a year. But for god sakes bring back the special travelogue with the swimsuit section. Yes, some of-us do read SI for the articles.

Number

Make missed tackles a football statistic. Then you can honestly say that Deion Sanders is the best in the league at something and have the statistics to prove it.

Nudxr

aaPut into . . place a salary cap on college athletes. \

Number

Implement a pro-active policy to restrict elementary school athletes from declaring themselves eligible for the NBA draft. Sure, that may never happen, but when little David Morris, 13, signs a 15 year, $423 million dollar contract, he’ll quickly realize the benefits of a college education. He could have

Number11 Low explosive land mines in the outfield to give the game an added level of interest. Then, md only then, would I be happy to see Barry Bonds, Albert Belle and Bobby Bonilla in the Toronto outfield.

Number12 Award each sports team bonus points for excellent commercials, and deduct points for anything associated withMcDonalds. Juwan to bet this will never happen?

Number13 Make me the of major league ously. I couldn’t than . the . yahoos I rung tne asymm.

commissioner baseball. Serido any worse currently run-

No chickens at this cock-fight l

im Rose needs little, if any, introduction. The man who singlehandedly brought the sideshow back into the ‘melight is coming back to Waterloo this Friday to once again disgust and delight. By swallowing razorblades and inviting members of the audience to stand on the back of his head while his face is in a pile of glass, Rose develops a bond with the audience that can only be compared to that developed between those guys in Peru who ate each other after their plane crashed in the montains. Like those people must have done, you can look Jim Rose in the eye and you know that you’ve both done horrible, sick, twisted and depraved things, but hey, I won’t tell if you won’t. Enjoy the show.

year [ 19951, forCanadianuniversities. January of ‘96 I attempted to jump 27 dead cows at a meat packing plant, on a motorqcle. I got in a wreck and hurt rni back. I cleared the cows, but the landing was little rough. So that’s why we haven’t been around for a while.

That’s one of their most popular episodes. It was a lot of fun. We mightbe doing another one soon.

To do the stunts, is it training, tricks or genetic abnormalities?

No, there’s little pockets bf New Guinea I skipped.

How has the media treated You in the past?

How does it go over in Japan?

After the Simpsons and the XFiles, pretty damn nice.

They love it!! Women sum0 wresding...

How about when you were just starting out?

Do you have a word of wisdom to help guide our lives?

It was sensationalism and controversv back then.

I’ve never seen a statue erected for a critic, only for whom they’ve criticized.

What does your mother think? That Jesus Christ is our saviour and he’ll be coming back someday.

Have you toured everywhere?

What do you say to people who Where did you get that?

Cm&g to Fed Hull Friday, March 7

Tell me what form the show has now? It’s got a horror show vibe. I’ve got one young lady thafs 362436, and that’s just one leg. We’ve got women sum0 wrestling. You’re going to feel the earth shake when over 800 pounds of female flesh collide in Waterloo. Judy “the Bull moose” Jenkins, weighing in at a dainty 362 ibs. vs. Katy “the Piledriver? Wilson, tipping the scales at a svelte 404 lbs.

Yup. There’s a whole bunch of them down in Mexico cite. And these sissiescan really fight: We’ve got Billy Martinez, the “Barrio Bottom,” vs. thesexiest man alive, Tickles Valdez. %OW Blow” Ventura was eliminated lastnight. And by he way, this will be a fudge-packing grudge match as Billy stole Tickles’ lover a couple of years back. All the action takes place below the belt, and they’ve got a bone to pick. They’re gonna take care of that bone? Oh yeah. They’re goma take care of that bone. There’ll be no chickens at this cock-fight.

Jesus Christ. Are the people in the front row in any danger?

Are you doing the razorbladeswallowing, glass-eating thing?

No. Nobody in the audience will get hurt.

SUR.

Our Editor, he’s a big guy. He’d be willing to give them a go. What are the chances of that??

I forget, but it’s not original.

Howoldwereyouthefirsttime you swallowed a razorblade? About 23.

The abnormality, gen&ical.ly, with the exception of full-figured women which I don’t think is abnormal, is the Armenian rub-* her man who goes through the head of a tennis racquet. He’s a little whacked out.

I’m npt exploiting these people. I give them a full bottle of whisky a night, and a place to sleep it off. What would you have done differently ?

complain that the show plays off a morbid fascination with fkeaks?

He’s a guy. This is women’s sum0 wresting. We’d have to cut his dick off first.

Did you ever have any problems getting them out the right end?

What”s the worst thing ever happened on stage?

out doing a show that people called disgusting, a little.. *what?

No but glass was a problem one time, I crapped a chandelier.

If you’re jumping dead cows on a motorcycle, I guess cows are the stage. I didn’t care much for that,

You went to university for POlitical Science. What would you say to people in Poli-Sci right now?

Whafs the next step in the evolution of the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow?

Expect to be doing something elsewithyourlifewhenyougraduate.

Wmmm, more goofmg around. We’re just throwing a party, with really cool stuff you can’t see anywhere else.

At what point did you realiz that you weren’t satisfied with 9-5 bullshit?

What did you think of the Simpson’s episode where you were spoofed?

tling, Eddie Vedder gave me that idea. He sent me a postcard from Mexico City.

I kind of always knew that, but I took a stab at it. [By the way] We were picked the Variety artist of the year that

It was pretty funny.

There’s a rumour that Eddie might appear in the show?

You

started

Sick and gross. And last time you came around [October’95]youcalleditmore suspenseful. Now what is it?? It’s wrestling. All that other stuff that

we do does take place,

that

it’ll be

happening all around you. The undercard will be Mexican transvestite wrestling. Not just transvesrite wrestling, but Mexicaaz transvestite wrestling. Did you search Mexico for the best transvestite wrestlers3

I would have jr’;zmped 26 cows, Whafs the best thing that ever happened to you on stage. It this year, you’ll agree with me soon, Mexican transvestite wrestling. I can’t say it enough. Those sissies can really fight. Where do ybu get your ideas? We&

Hove about your X-Files pearance?

Mexican

transvestite

wres-

apI can’t confirm or deny that.

ARTS

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nother full house at the best coffee shop in town. raig’s brief set allowed for everyone to file in and squat on the cold cement floor. Either the Korova needs to expand or they’ve got to stop booking such good bands. Henry, the in-house favourite, sped through his set with the endless energy that has become his trademark, As the Inbreds later noted, if he played his guitar any faster,it might blow up. Next was Wilt, a young solo singer/guitarist who appears afraid of his own voice. His songs seem to consist ofthe broken up poetry written in grade ten adolescent confusion. It works. Now if he would step back and think about why he uses such frantic rA.ngihg pitches with his lyrics, he might be able to rework it to bring out lines like, “set halfof you on fre and watch the other halfperspire,” and really grab the attention ofhis audience. Having managed to avoid seeing Plumtree until now, I thought I would be able to finally watch them without harsh judgerne~t-nope. I just can’t help but wonder if their highschool-girlswith-bad-hair-cuts look is contrived., or ifit’s just an East coast thing. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great if they don’t see appearance as a priority, but the 104 look has become so much of a marketing ploy lately that it makes me suspicious. It took a good five songs into the set for me to hit the defrost mode. They fmally showed us that they cam play when it comes down to it on

%.acingGloves.“Theyweretight, together and, dare I say, almost rocking. The same thing happened on ‘Tropical,” which ended off with a rockstar jump kick A la Superfriendz. It almost worked. There is one thing that can be said for them-they aren’t overly bouncy. There was one song, however, that was mcking annoying, It was called “ l-8,” and that’s all it was. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s counting past the number three in songs. There were no other lyrics, and it was bouncy. The last song was a cover of You GotMe Runnin” that had a lot of power, and the first audible vocals of their set. It would be nice to see this strength carry into their originals; otherwise they just seem like another girly band. What can be said about the most simple, charming band fi-om Kingston that everybody doesn’t

The audience greatly approved of the whole set in their awkward attempt at dancing and singing along. Ballmns bounced back and forth to entice the crowd, though no more encouragement was needed. Ii’s a nice change to see a current band that can carry a melody in the vocals instead of hiding them in an overload of guitar. The song ‘Wanna Be Your Man” was enough to melt the toughest girl’s heart. Not only can the Inbreds sing, but they’re down to earth. Half way through, they thanked the audience and the openers profLsely, saying it was one of the best crowds they’ve played for lately; unlike some bands that have gotten too big recently to even remember the name of the town they’re in (read: Sloan). Sincerity is their strong point, as demonstrated when they asked who the

And you wonder why they’m caki inbred. photo

already know? And I don’t mean charming in the cute sense, but in the snake charmer, calm and powerfid sense. I’ve heard that since the addition of the new guitarist, Inbreds have lost their originality; I like them better. Mike’s distinctive voice and their overall sophisticationmaintainthe band’s former identity; the extra guitar just contributes to a fLller sound.

by Sean Moore

local band is that they should be most aware of I won’t be surprised if they remember Starkicker’s name. Their last song proved that Inbreds can have fun too, as Mike strutted his stuff by playing behind his head like any good rock star. Inbreds haven’t lost their touch;in fact they’ve restored a bit of my faith in quality Canadian music.

A collectwe neurosis 0

Beaut3b.l Regardless byvaknbs autbm Federation of Students 26 pages, free by Jeff Rdmtson Imprint staff

eaut#kl RqpzresS is a collection of poetry, prose, and art by Universtiy of Waterloo students dedicated to raising awareness of the impact of eating disorders. The works are varied,

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ing poetic accounts of women who have experienced and are experiencing the pains of anorexia and bulimia, to sobering commentary and statistics detailing the extensiveness of eating disorders among women.

The poetry poignantly articulates the pain, anguish, and rage felt by women who are ensnared by the shackles of anorexia, bulimia, and the social pressures that impose a low self-image. The reader encounters the exhaustion, fear, and isolation that accompany the body-hatred that has so effectively rob*d women of their empowerment. What is noticeably lacking from the works is any sense of reassurance. This stark lack of optimism sends a clear message to the reader: women are dying, women are suffering, and there is nu forthcoming sign of change. There is only the raw encounter with the pain of hating one’s flesh; or being forced to hate one’s flesh. The prose relates frightening

statistics that illustrate how proan unrealistic body image is seen as the ideal among North American women; and the works of Naomi ‘wolf are often cited in the discussion of the social pressures that lead to eating disorders and low body images. Here too, the future shows no sign of improvement; if anything, more women are expressing more dissatisfaction with themselves and at younger ages. Bmutz#d Rgmdhs gives a strongvoice to an otherwise silently suffering part of our community that has come across with bitter clarity. It evocatively expresses the pain of the victims of a preoccupation with flesh that is bound into our society like a collective neurosis. lific

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March

Fuck pretension Fed up! An art dmw SLC multipqwe

mom

Wednesday, February 26Thursday, February 27 by James Russell Imprint daff t’s easy to seewhy this show was termed, “A show about art for art’s sake.” There’s ‘ho flash, no glitz,” as organizer Doug BrignaN said. Just a really interesting selection of art, in many difGerent mediums, presented in a simple and straightforward manner. Brignall, tier talking to local artists and galleries, felt that there was a snobbishness to the scene, and wanted to try something different. 9 don’t like the pretension,” he said, recalling experiences in local galleries. “The art seems to get lost.” The art was not lost here though. The sheer variety of the work presented was more than enough to ,make the exhibit memorable. We have some stuff that’s Werent,” said Brignall, understating the case considerably. , Circling the room, the frost display consisted of photos by Meghan Brignall. AU black and white, Brignall’s use of depth of field, focus and solarizitplg was intriguing. Gaven Dianda provided some focinating collages. The works were in both black and white and colour and consisted of a dazzling array of images that made your head swim. His largest work, “25 hour daydream,” was an epic that must be seen to be truly appreciated. SeanNewhookwasshowingtwodrawings, one black and white and one colour. Both incorporated strong elements of native art-smooth, flowing structures blending into one another, not creating any concrete form, but definitely leaving an impression. One of the highlights of the show was the pen designs by Nathan Knowl. The drawings were sharp and intricately detailed, somehow flowery, somehow foreboding. The patterns within patterns were

ARTS

7, 1997

hypnotic, very easy to get lost in, but ifyou stepped back, you realized that many of the images appeared to have violent undertones. Erin McFadden offered some of the most original works on display. “Escape” showed the forms of face and hands pushing out against a wire screen, with great detail, surrounded by keys. Her untitled wire sculpture was incredible, showing all the details of a face, including one open eye and one closed one (lashes and all), and a mourn of teeth. And her three-dimensional cardboard sculpture of a woman was brilliant, with navel, nipples, eyelashes and glittering shoes, all done with remnants of a.cardboard box. Caroline Tye displayed three black and white pencil sketches, each with little splashes of red to draw the eye. l3er works contained complicated messages, smoothly drawn in a simple-yet-effective style. Judy Brignall was prominently displayed, and With good reason. Her clay sculptures-hand painted-were fascinating. There were two dominant themes in her works, The first was street people. Several of her works were images of people living in boxes, surrounded by trash 6ut otherwise alone. The colours were superbly done. .Brignall aIso incorporated a strong fmtasy theme in her works. Images such as ccBeastie slumbers” (a dragon) and “Oberon” (a man in robes with curling horns) were undoubtedly Tolkien-esque. The most intricate and beautifLl work of the show was Brignall’s “Lazy day in a Faerie Tree.” The bark molded itself into faces which only slightly drew attention away from the animated little goblins occupying the branches. The expressions were brillkntly done, and the complexity of the work made one wish that it could be viewed from all sides so that it could be properly appreciated. The show highlighted one thing onlythe art. There was no hierarchy and no frills. If you want a chance to check out great art without the pretensions of most galleries, check out the next Doug Brignall show in town.

One of the many impressive

works of Judy BrignaJL photos

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The band that would not die by Peter Garcin special to Imptit Retailers and record company big wigs are expecting U2’sPop to be the biggest release of 1997. It won’t be. The latest disc from those Irish lovers of irony is anything but what its title suggests. * is U2’s least accessible disc thus far, and it is perhaps their best. By now, everyone and his dog has heard Wiscotheque,” the * blip-soaked trashy tune which opens this disc. It is somewhat unique on the disc-both musically and lyrically. It’s a setup, since the songs that follow are anything but trashy and throwaway. It is classic U2 drenched in buzzes and blips and breakhts. Pop rouS along into ?I)0 you feei loved?” a song with one ofthe most infectious bass lines you’ll

ever hear. “Mofo” is perhaps the mostout-theretrackontherecord, with double-tracked drummm* is and electronic bass that proceeds at an other-worldly rate-you might want to sit down when you listen to this track. T God Will Send His Angels” is a groovy ballad that happens to be the most standard U2 track on the record. It compensates for being somewhat standard by being perhaps one of the best songs the*e ever written. “Staring At the Sun” has Edge discovering a 1970s Leslie speaker

to pump his guitar through-the result is perhaps the only song which deserves the label “pop”. Being the next single, and much more of a ,pop” tune than “Discotheque,” listeners can expect to hear this song a bit too frequently. %tst Night on Earth’ is the only straight-up rock song on this album. It is the last gasp ofpop on this record, asthe songs slip into a darker and less accessible groove for the second half Yhne” is pure emotional power, followed immediately by U2-turned-intoMassive Attack on YUiami.”

“Playboy Mansion” follows the same “trip-hop” groove that this record was supposed to be in, but is the end of that line of songs too, ‘2f You Wear That Velvet Dress” is a haunting ballad whose bass line will send shivers down anyone’s spine. The album winds down with Vlease” and Wake Up Dead Man.” Tlease” is far and away the least accessible tune on the record. It’s disturbingly complex and very organic compared to the rest of thealbum. WakeUpDeadMan~ has Bono reiteratini his distress

Some of the real standout tracks on this CD are the David Bowie single that seems to soar from the speakers, the Smashing Pumpkins synth track, and a great single from Rammstein. Almost all of Angelo Badalamenti’s work is catchy and moody at the same time, and “This Magic Moment” as performed by Lou Reed adds a quirky little track that I’ve found myself humming in the morn-

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by Scott Preston Imprint st.aB These girls can rock. If you heard the last album, you already know this. The problem with their latest release, E@it Arms’ to Hohi l%u, is that it tries to rock way harder than the band was meant to. Louise Post andNina Gordon do not have the type of voices to match the loudness of this album. Their voices are sweet; not raw. This type of production would work wonde&lly on the next ILe Aaron album, however. Since the hiring of the new producer, ballads have become great walls of slow distortion, slowly grinding to a halt in about three minutes, getting under your skin like a jagged sliver. What happened to sweet songs like cc25” and”Disinherit?” The sweetmelodies of old are gone, buried beneath crunching guitars. By the time I ftished listening to this album, I could hardly tell that there had been fourteen different songs. Songs bled into one big distorted power chord. This album is a big, bad, hard rockaibum, andit really shouldn’t be. I hate to use cliches, but ifit ain’t broke, don’t fix it,

regarding religion in this spookv closer. The lyrical content on Pop is much more personal than any of the other records giving the record a very serious and dark feeling+ This record isn’t a techno record and it isn’t a pop record either. Its styles are at times very divergent, but somehow it manages to stay together. Given a bit of time, this record could be their best yet. With Pop, U2 continue to be innovative and interesting, and while it may not be the most successful release of ‘97, it could be the best.

ings.

by Mike Owen Imprint staff Having yet to see the movie Lo5t it may seem odd to be reviewing the soundtrack, but to be honest, having heard the CD I can already guess the entire theme of the movie. A good soundtrack can stand on its own, but also says something about the movie through not only the musical

HZ@JWZ~,

score, but the artists performing the songs as well. TheLostH@tpaysoundtrack does both ofthese things very, very well. The album can reallv be divided up into two parts-&ions of instrumental music that aren’t commonly in movie soundtracks, and the more typical sections of music being performed by various current music icons. It3 uncommon to see this mix in an soundtrack, so you really get a combination of a musical score and soundtrack, with the two types of music intermixed and flowing smoothly.

To be honest there are very few songs on the CD that suck. The one that come to mind is the new Nine Inch Nails single (along with that crap of a video). I wasn’t crazy about one of the Marilyn Manson songs at first, and one of the Rammstein tracks drags a bit, but these seem like minor complaints for a soundtrack when there are so many lousy soundtracks these days. While I hate to jump on the Trent Reznor bandwagon, he could actually the the reason why this soundtrack is so good in a world of sountracks filled by any top 40 band the producers can get their hands on. In spite of h& apparent lapse in YIhe Perfect Drug,” he’s produced a great soundtrack, and the songs were mixed and arranged perfectly. rd heartily recommend this album, and I’ve been listening to it quite a bit since I got it. Who knows? I might even go and see the movie.

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7, 1997

ARTS

There’s nothing that says ccindie” as much as releasing your record on a completely outmoded medium. Toronto pianist (among other dirty words) Dan Bryk took fhility to new lows when he released Anhole on second-hand 8track cassette. , The only thing more useless than an &track (which, tier all, is still completely usable by anyone driving a pre- 1973 automobile) is a 7’ vinyl record. ‘They stillm&e those?” you inquire? Well, apparently, although theonly band that can actually make money at it is Slosh, and then only because anything Chris Murphy breathes on

is immediately canonized in the They must havereally good drugs in Brantiord, because Cartoon IndieRockhalloff;une. OrThrush Hermit, who very frequently can Khakiarecrazy. Withfalsettononmanage rwt to sound like Pave- sense vocals and music that draws ment for an entire five and a half from funk, surfand ska in strange minutes. proportions, the closest compariThe only redeeming factor son I can make is Quiverleg, with vinyl has going for it is that ithuh even more of a bite. cool. Take Raging Postman A band by the name of Ifs Records’ Warning: Lipe Music Patrick put out a two-song T’ last compilation, featuring an entire year. Unlike the aforementioned three bands (Minstrels on Speed, slabs, the record itselfis black and Capt. Nemo, and Greyhound white. So’s the artwork, featuring Tragedy) on one round slab of shamelessly retro close-ups of a mottled-p y vinyl. There’s a skull record needle running through in the middle (Mr. Dead Post- grooves. But even though man, one assumes), and the cen- “Patrick” is just about the dumbtrepiece goes maht tkmngh biwyt~ est name possible, their music See how cool this is, folks? doesn’t sound too bad. In fact, it’s The music doesn’t even suck quite pretty, lead by the vocals all that much. In fact, it’s a quite and guitar of sole current member nice slice of folk-rock, all very Michelle Breslin and backed up Edmonton-as clean as the praiby a trio which includes drummer rie skies, but with that hint of AlisonMaclean, who now pounds exasperation bred out of utter for MAdE. boredom from not even having Michelle’s voice is much more mountains to look at. somber than the standard indieLike Raging Postman, rock frontwoman, and the music Brandbrd label Humpin’ In the is deeper to match, with flanged Back Room (I’m not making any electric @tars and minor chords. of this up, even though I?d probIt’s very beautiful, in a highly deably do a better job) decided that pressing way. since no one was going to listen to If you actually own such an its bands, they may as well be able ancient form of technobgy as a to look through it. Side A, featurVecord player,” you can get the ing Curtis Mathis, is a chartig aforementioned slabs from: R~Jpair of adolescent-type songs. ifig Pumn, PO &9x 206, EdmThe lesspornographic B-side ton A3 T5J X8; Hump’n’ in the with Cartoon Khaki features a Back Ram, PO Box 942, Watersong about “Knight Rider,” one fmd UN NOE ITO; It3 Pat&k, entitled “Ferrari,” a.hd a third au- 550 Buthztm St. #6, Tmontu UN tomobile-inspired “Blue Truck.” M5S 2P8.

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MONDAYS UW Stage Band rehearsal at 7:009:00 p.m. in Conrad Grebel College Great Hall room 156. Every Monday and Wednesday Chapel Choir rehearsal 3:30-500 pm in Conrad Grebel College Chapel. Outers Club regular meetings are at 7 p-m. in ES room1 -221. Come out for social events and updates.

TUESDAYS Beginning Jan. 7 to March 18 the Christopher Leadership course will begin. This course covers effective communication skills and self-confidence. To register & info call Joanne at 744-6307. University Choir rehearsal, 7:00=9:30 *p.m. in Conrad Grebel Coliege Chapel. Any questions call Eleanor at 885 0220 ext. 226. Every Tuesday and Thursday 3:305:00 p.m. Chamber Choir rehearsal. Tuesdays, CGC Rm 151 and Thursdays, CGC Chapel.

FRIDAY English Conversation Class in Needles Hall 2080. Sept. to June from 2:00 to4:OO p.m. Students, faculty, staff and spouses welcome. For info call International Student Off ice at ext. 2814 Friday, March 7,9 p.m. Playing at the Grad House, ‘Pandemonium.” Nocover charge.

ate photographs, stories, etc. Please contact me: F. Arseneauti. 43Chancellor Way, ::’ ary A!3, T2K !Y$, phone 402)282= avscana d a.com. d!l ;email: Franc& St-Louis Adult Learning Centres offer English as a second Ian uage classes for adults in Kitchener-Wa Perloo and Cambrid e. Levels I-VII available, including TO&l= pre aration. Call 745-1201 (Waterloo) or 6 s O-1250 (Cambrid e) or come in to re ister. St. Louis Adu9 t Learning Centre, 7 5 Allen St. East, Waterloo. = if International Income Tax Worksho you received Canadian funds in the P 996 calendar year, you are required to file an income tax return by April 30, 1997. The workshoo will be held in March and will be announkd. Contact International Student Off ice, NH 2080 for forms and info. Do you want some experience that will look awesome on your resume? We are current1 accepting applications for the Studen Y Career Advisor Pro ram 19971998. SCA’s are volunteers w%o help students with resumes, cover letters, interview skills, career planning and job search. Commitment for volunteers is two terms, 3 hours per week. We are also hirin a Supervisor to co-ordinate the SCA B rois provided so gram. Extensive trainin ick up an application to %ay at the Career R esource Centre, NH 11 I5 or call ext. 4047. Application deadline is March 14. St. Paul’s United Colleae would like to invite all former residents %IO are graduating a the Spring or Fall 1997 Convocation to a Graduates Ban uet. Come and join your friends for fun, 9 ood and alas, farewells! Please call Darlene at 885-1460 to reserve a seat. Recycle old talephone books with blue box when ou receive your new book. Bag or bundle t\ em if more than one, otherwise they can be put in your newspaper blue box. Blood Donor Clinic - UW, Student Life Centre, Multi-Fur se Room, 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Friday, lr arch 14/97.

INJEERS

For info call 744-4095. In Home Support Volunteers to provide support to families of newborn children. Duties include providin emotional support, iinking families wita community resources and providing practical help. Call Cathy _at CradleLink 7490226. For the following volunteer positions contact Sue at the Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610: Loto Kiosk Retailer - needed to run a Iotto kiosk at St. Jacobs outlet mall. #091-l 631. Gallery Shop is needing someone for afterntions, evenings aid weekends. #062-20 Recording Secretary needed for monthly Board meetings of a literacy organization. #078-l 155. Treasurer needed by a not-for-profit organization that provides assistance to people with Alzheimer’s disease. #128-l-724. Be A Big Brother in our short term group reEreational program for boys. Ideal for students with limited time. Transportation necessary. For more information call Big Brothers at 57951 50. English tutor program - volunteers are needed to tutor students on a oneto-one basis in written or oral English. Tutors meet students on campus, once a week for l-2 hours for 1 term. If interested register at the International Student office, NH 2080 or for more info call ext. 2814.

1 SCHCIARSHIDS/ j

ANNtWNfXMNTS

Are you interested in a fast-paced, dynamic work environment that will constantly challenge and intrigue you? A career as a Career Development Practitioner may be for you! For info call the Information Centre at Conestoga Coll e, 299 Doon Valley Drive, Kitchener, 74 2G 4M4 (519) 748= . 5220, ext. 516. Distance Education Daedline- Spring Term 1997. The deadline for applying was Feb. 17/97. Implemented again this year is a ‘late apptication penod” from Feb. 18 to March 1O/97. A late fee of $25. is required to process your application during this period. Co-op students on a work-term in May should apply now. Faculty approval is recommended before submitting an application with appropriate tuition to the Distance Education Office, corner of Columbia and Pl$llip Streets. St. Paul’s United College has rooms available for Winter ‘97 and Spring ‘97 terms. Please call 885-l 460 or drop by for application forms and a tour! Guided Self-Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services (eti, 2655) to find out more. Now available ‘What in the World is Going On: A Guide for Canadians Wishing to Work, Volunteer, or Study in Other Countries.’ For info/cost call Christine at (613) 237-4820. Attention Btuevale Alumni! BCl’s 25th Reunion is May 30 - June l/97. The Reunion committee is presently compiling a mailing list. It is important that they receive your address now. Please write the school c/o 25th Reunion, 80 Bluevale St. N. Waterloo, N23 3R5, call the Hotline at 650-0569 or email at http:/www.sentex.net/ -dabrykys/bci.reunion. Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Oscar Arias, Peace Jam Youth Conference which aired Jan. 11-l 2 will be available for Internet access on Jan. 17 at http:/ /www.uconline.edu Canadian Federation of University Women Used Book Sale will be in April this year. To donate books please call 747-5854 or 746-5649 or 886-7427 until Saturday, Mar. 29, 1997. Were you a cadet or staff at Vernon Army Cadet Camp? I am doing refor a book and would appreci,..< sepc!h ahlcu4ki*tu***be,rc

Office for Persons with Disabilities are needing volunteers to work in many areas such as library research, reading text to tape, computer work, etc. If interested please call 885-1211, ext. 5082 Jane Farlev. Big Sisters needs you! Inquire about our short term match program. Get trained now to begin in September 97. Training date on Saturday, March 22/97. Call now to reaister

743-5206.

Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be part of your community. for more info call KW Y?&A Wost Program at 579-9622. Waterloo Minor Soccer needs reliable coaches and assistant coaches. Do you have the time and talent to share from May to July? Please call 578-9680. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Services, 888-6488, is currently recruiting for the following positions: Snow Day: to assist with Family Playing in the Snow Day. Volunteers are needed in the hot chocolate hut, to judge events, and assist with registration. Officials for snow activities are also needed. Must enjoy family situations and winter weather. Receptionists: duties such as answering phones, assisting day time users, filing and processing mail. Volunteers must be at least 18 years of a e, reliable and enjoy working with the pu %lit. A time commltment of l-4 hour session per week for 4 months is required. Sessions are on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday afternoons or Wedneday mornings or afternoons. Sounds of Summer Corporate Sponsorshipvolunteer: assist Director in attaining new sponsors and fotlow-up with past sponsors. Must have an interst in finance and public relations. Telephone Callers: needed to call older adults on a regular basis to ensure safety. Calls will be made daily or on alternate days depending on need. Must have good communication skills and pleasant telephone manner. Busker Carnival Volunteers are needed in the areas of finance and administration, special events, and logistics. Previous experience an asset. m Sexual -Treatment Pmramme of Community Justice initiatives igholding its training workshop for volunteer group facilitators of groups for sexual abuse survivorsand oflenders. Training for group facilitators will be held on Tuesdays 4-6 *.p.rn- from January 28 to April 15, 1997. n*Ca*.r _ .

Applications for the following scholarships are being accepted during the Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Offii, 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

ALL FACULTIES: Doreen B&bin Award-available to third year Regular or 38 Co=op female students in an Honours program in which women are currently uhde?represenW. Deadline: April 30/97. DouglasT, Wright Award - available to all who have participated in a UW international work placement. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: Ott 15197.

97. Canadian Posture and Seating Cenm tre Scholarship-available to all. Deadline: Oct. 14/97. Canadian Society for Civil Engineer=. ing Award-available to all Civil and Mechanical students with an interest in Building Science. Students to contact Dr. Eric Burnett. Keith Carr Memorial Award-available to 3rd or 4th year Chemical. Deadline: Mar 31197. Ontario Hydro Englneering Awardsavaitable to 1 B Chemical, Electrical, Environmental or Mechanic& Eligible&ndidates will be women, aboriginal native) Canadians, persons with disa 6 ilities or visible minorities. Deadline: July 31197. Jack Wiseman Award-availtie to 3rd year Civil. Deadline: Ott 31/97.

FacuItv of Environmental -Robert Haworth Scholarshtplcompletion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Mana ement, Recreation, Natural Heritage or 8 utdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31/97. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship-available. to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31i97

Facultv of Mathematics: Andersen Consulting Scholarshipavailable to 38 Math. Deadline: Mar. 31/ 97 Ekctrohome 75th Anniversary Scholarship-available to 35 Computer Science. Deadline: Mar. 31197 KG. Lee Computer Science Scholarship-available to 2nd year regular Computer Science. Deadline: Ott 31197. Sun Life of Canada A~d-availabl~ to Fat yee7Actuanal Science. Deadline: .

Facultv of Science: S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship-available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: May 31197 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarehip-available to 3B Earth Science/Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31/97 Dow Canada Scholarship-available to 3A Chemistry. Deadline: Mar 31/97 S$ence Society Bursary-available to .

FRIDAY, MAR. 7,1997 25th Annual Blackforest Coffee House Music Festival - March 7 and 8. Show runs from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. in McKirdy Hall. Performers include My Neighbor Ned, Jacob Moon, and many others There are 14 performers booked per evening. For more ticket infocall Dave at 725-8222. Playing at the Grad House = “My Neighbor Ned” with Mike Busarri. No cover charge. Undergrads need simply purchase a $5. membership, good for the term.

TUESDAY,

MAR. II,1997

The Bede Lecture Series at Renison College, UW. Professor Dr. Ronald Eydt will speak on ‘Creation, Time and Space.” For details call 8844404. voice mail ext. Benefit Coffee House for Anselma House at Huether Hotel (above the Barley Works) 9-l 2pm (doors open at 830) Admission $5.00. Live music, poetry, andstory-telling. Great performers. Door prize and raffles.

WEDNESDAY,

MAR. 12,1997

Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo coming-out discussion group. Topic: ‘Same Sex Couples” at 7130 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m., HH 378. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Detaiis: 8844569.

THURSDAY,

MAR. 13,1997

New Cinema from China - films at 7:00 p.m. in UW’s East Campus Hall Auditorium 1219. Foreign-language films with English subtitles. “Blush (Aka: The Painted Woman)” = 120 min.

position availabk at the Ontarion, the University of Guelph’s lndependent Student Newspaper. Starts May l/97 for one year contract. Send resume and cover letter to the Ontarion, c/o Drew Edwards, UC 264, University of Guelph, Guelph Ont., NIG 2W1, or e-mail ontarion @ uoguelph.ca. Deadline for applications is March W/97. Call (519) 824-4120, ext. 8265 for further details. The (Marion is an equal oppdrtunity emdover.

Facukv of _Applied Health Sciences: Michaal Gellner Memorial Scholarshipavailable to 36 Kinesiology or Health Studies. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Robert Haworth Scholarship=comple= tion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Plannin and Mana ement, Recreation, Natural i eribge or 9, utdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31/97

Facultv of Arts: Arts Student Union Award - available to all Arts students. Deadline: Feb. 28/ 97. James C. McKegney Memorial Awardavailable to upper year Arts students with outstanding performance and/or extra-curricular activities in the Hispanic Area = one in Peninsular Spanish Studies andone in Spanish America Studies. Deadline: Feb. 28/97.

Faculty of Enaineerina: Andersert Consulting Scholarshipavailable to 38. Deadline: Mar. 31197 Canadi.an Hospital En ineerin Society’s Scholarship=availa %le to 36. 5 eadline: Mar. 31/97 Consulting Engineers of Ontario Scholarship-available to all 36. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 John Deere Limited Scholarship-available to 35 Mechanical. Deadline: Mar. 31197 Randy Duxbury !&norial Award-avail$le to 3B Chemical. Deadline: Feb 28/ SC. Johnson & Son Ltd. = Environmentat Scholarship-available to3rd year Chemical. Deadline: May 31/97 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarehip-available to 38 Civil,Water Resource Management studen&. Cbadlina: May St/.

Seven Maples Housing Co=op, 368 Bearinger Road, Waterloo. Safe, secure and friendly. 2 bedroom: $618. / 3 bedroom $712, available May 1 and June 1, Call 747-4545. PhilI@ Street townhouse = 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry, parking, bike storage, all kitchen appliances. $265./roam or $1,060. for unit - your choice. Call Dave at 725-9487. 258111~ Street = just across the street. Now leasing May to May, 3 & 4 bedroom units, washer/dryer, fridge, stove, free parking. 746-5761. 5 bedroom ample size, self-contained unit, new lower duplex R2OOO quality, 2 complete 4 piece bathrooms, large kitchen, diningroom, livingroom, free laundry facilities, large paved parking area. $315./student plus utilities. May l/97 lease. Phone 416=491=1370. Summer subletters wanted = 256 Phillip Street - just across the street. Washer/dryer,

fridge,

stove,

free

park-

ing. $175=$25O/big bright clean rooms. Charles Robertson 746-5761. Houses & apartments = 3 .to 10 bedroom units, various locations, 10 to 25 minute walk. Renting now for Sept. 97, 12 month lease. Also available 5 bedroom house for May 97=Aug. 97. Phone 5744728.

Math tutor: basics for GMAT Exam. Require help now thru March 15/97. Email: gadabout Q ionline.net. Ask for Stu 8864325. Part-time contact work for tutoring agency. Must have current reference police check, references and own transportation. Call Cyndi at 576-7565.

LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE PREP Spring/Summer classes are now forming. Course formats range from 20 to 80 hours. 20 hour weekends are available for $195. Richardson - since 1979 www.prep.com or prep 8 istar.ca or t-800-41 O-PREP.

Pregnant? Considering adoptive parents? Happily married professional couple seeking birthmother considering adoptive parents for her baby. Warm and loving home environment. Rob or Linda I-800-254-8452 in our home. Legal. Confidential.

Computer monitor problems? Call Dave = a video specialist - at 745-0808. IVGAISVGA only please) Prdteader - expeclenced, wants to help you improve-your essays, improve your rammar, and grades. Give me a ai)” 8 ary a 74&mr.” * ‘li et